#updates about real life? maybe
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WYNN DOODLES AND ALSO BOB'S CRUSHED SOUL ART BECAUSE THAT SHIT MESSED ME UP GOOD (i picked yellow and white cause he was a light.... to wynn....... during the war.........)
ft. wassupimE's wynn oc suffeeing from the voices with me (yes echo is on wynn mika's playlist)
#wynncraft#wynncraft oc#mikamako art#NO BECAUSE ME AND E BRAINSTORMED ABOUT SONGS ABOUT OUR CHARACTERS FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT TODAYYYYY#TWAS FUCKING AWESOME#CREATURE BY HALF ALIVE IS WYNN MIKA CODED BTW#SO IS DEAR WORMWOOD#AND CONSTELLATIONS BY THW 9H HELLOS#AND BREAKING THE HABIT AS WELL#AND REAL LIFE BY GREEK FIRE#i should just drop the playlist at this point#maybe one day#:D#anyways hi i am very insane about wynn#THE TRAILER FOR THE REKINDLED UPDATE DROPPED TOO#AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS FUCKASS SERVER#KFSBKVNEKVHSKCBSKCHSOF#also bob.......#bob..................
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day 299
cha boy is starting on a cpap machine for the first time tonight
it turns out, that when i sleep, my cringe-ass larynx blocks itself up, and i STRAIGHT UP STOP BREATHING for up to 20 seconds at a time! of course i have always managed to start back up again, but as u might imagine this doesn't lead to great sleep quality
so wish me luck on getting that Good Sleep for once. god gives his toughest battles to his sleepiest warriors and all that.
#day 299#year 4#it me#cpap#sleep apnea#i wasnt gonna post about this initially i didnt think it was fun or interesting#and well. its not.#but u know what. when they told me this was my issue i was like Hey Wait But 26 Year Olds Dont Usually Get That#because the only people in my life who are regular cpap users are in their 60s and 70s#and i felt weird and alienated for a couple days while i waited for the machine to come in and like#it really helped me to look up posts about it from people i consider peers#PLUS i always fucking complain here about how i am So Tired All The Time and while i always assumed it was due to my OTHER chronic illnesse#i figured maybe i'd update yall on the fact that it was uh. Moderate Obstructive Sleep Apnea for likely the last. eight or so years. lmao#anyway if people tell you that you snore a lot. and you feel real fuckin eepy a lot of the time.#consider asking your doctor to order you a sleep study!
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So, u h.
H O W. HOW, I ASK. ALL I DO IS POST ART ONCE IN A BLUE MOON AND MAKE REALLY CURSED REBLOGS. LIKE, I'M SO VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BUT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW OR WHY YOU'RE HERE-
I also like. Make really angsty, ungodly long fanfics that I do absolutely nothing to promote on this dumpster fire of a blog, but that's besides the point- ANYWAY. HAVE SOME REALLY SKETCHY DOODLES THAT I DID TO THANK YA MAD LADS ;_;
Thank ya, thank ya, you absolute mad lads. I will uh... continue to do what I do. Thank you for joining the ride, even though it's less of a ride and more that I found an abandoned theme park ride and decided to ride it as a prolonged death wish and you inexplicably strapped yourself in next to me with the moldy seatbelt-
#It's 104 followers now#This just shows how slow I am#SERIOUSLY#WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM#What am I doing really#To warrant this#I m e a n#Have we seen the state of my blog#It's not good#I can't begin to understand but I am so very thankful you are here anyway#Lord knows I am not helping your incentive to stay#With my ungodly cursed reblogs smh#Would you be disappointed in me if I told you my cursed reblogs is how I talk in real life-#It's true#I'm s o r r y#So you can see why I am baffled I have as many followers as I do#I came into this site expecting to be shouting my cursed ramblings to the v o i d#So to see the void a n s w e r b a c k is way more than I ever expected in my entire life#Oh w e l l; maybe I can make up for it by uh-#Idk maybe I uploaded a chapter or maybe I didn't#Don't look at me like that; we all know I can't make myself post something about a chapter update-
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thinking abt how my uncle wanted to buy me a present as a get well soon thing as a “surprise” (my mother spoiled it so she could get him accurate suggestions but he doesn’t need to know that) and how i have. not heard any news of that present since i was first made aware of its potential existence. and my uncle (love him to death) is allergic to spending money on anything ever despite very much having the funds for things now. hm
#marzi speaks#call me selfish butttt i want that present. and part of me is wondering whether it will actually be arriving or not#i can’t just ask him directly bc i’m not supposed to know about it. but also that kinda gives him an out#maybe when my mom gets back i’ll ask her if there’s any updates on it#we can be real with each other and as my mother and my uncle’s big sister i think it’s less faux-pas-y if she presses him abt it teehee#i might get new video game. i can’t miss out on New Video Game#oh uncle oh uncle !! i have just been diagnosed with a chronic illness that i will have to cope with the rest of my life !!#spoil me perhaps !!! pretty please !! dear uncle of mine !!
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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y'all who actually have partners,, what is a text ice breaker to start conversation? im really bad at it 😭
it feels important to note that when we do talk, the conversation flows great we have a nice rapport and complimentary senses of humors it's just starting the conversation that is the problem i think we are both just painfully shy 😔 (and maybe traumatized .)
#all my friends have offered is 'send a meme' which just gets me a heart react which is nice and all but i wanna SPEAK TO THEM.#and ive also done ~little random updates of my day~ which also works but on my days off i dont DO anything so i cant be like .#hey i rotted in bed all day what did you do#i feel like he's interested but shy ?? i guess ?? or maybe unsure if i feel the same way so he doesnt rly initiate#he did the other day just send me a photo of him working as a little life update which i took as a good sign :) and it sparked a short conv#i just dont know what to talk about or rather i wanna talk about literally everything but i dont wanna be annoyingggg#i dont know whats annoying and what isnt i guess is the main issue#he just got back from a 2 week work trip thing like working nonstop and normally we'd both be free tuesdays (tmrw) but since he JUST got#back today i figured it would be rude and/or seem desperate or clingy of me to ask if he wanted to hang this week#am i just crazy ?? oftentimes yes#it's also 10pm on a monday so i couldnt ask now anyway BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO JUST TALK#BUT I DONT WANNA BE ANNOYING all ive ever done in the past is annoy ppl or come off too 'weird' by just trying to get to know them#AND I DONT WANNA MESS UP THIS TIME CAUSE I THINK I DO GENUINELY LIKE THIS GUY IVE JUST NEVER BEEN IN THIS POSITIONNNNN#ITS NEVER FELT REAL#OK BYE
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oh yeah, life update- because you all need those and expect it from me- started watching 'the fall of the house of usher' and I'm just kinda wondering like, is subtlety dead?
#da#real life update is ig I have been pulled into moving out with my little sister#idk she's doing all the important stuff and I'm just nodding along#and also giving her money for deposit things but y'know#re: fall of house of usher. cat death was just evil. I hate it. uhh is it implied that roderick wrote poe's works? is his 1st wife#totally unfamiliar with poe?#and like idk if I hadn't watched succession maybe I could be less annoyed but oh my MODS why would I care about rich people show#I'm so sick of rich people shows#I just want them all to die and their money can recirculate in the economy stop reminding me how immune to consequences they are#and how much they ruin everyone's lives. like I kind of would like to escape that for one second#gentefied was good kim's convenience was good bear is good#at least I get to see them die gruesome deaths#but then what if I like their actors' performance?? then I'm sad#oh edit bc I recalled another actual life update: Dev bleached my hair uwu#it'll be metallic lavender if all goes well. he didn't want to overload my hair all in one go yet though bc I guess it's still healthy lmao
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#have a first date with a guy on thursday and like.#do you think it’s a red flag that im more excited to text my crush from the trip about the date than i am to actually go on the date 😶#like something something the romanticism and allure of the impossibility of being into a guy who i knew for two weeks#and who lives on a different continent than me#vs a real person i will actually be dating and have the chance to possibly build a relationship with#also something something knowing this person actually likes me vs getting to play a noncommittal guessing game with this crush like.#per chance im still not ready to be in a relationship is the actual answer here….#but also like i am soooooooo excited fo text my crush about it like he’s the only person who even knows about this date#because it came up while we were having a pleasantly surprising long conversation about life and relationships on our last night together#and i told him all my fears and he talked me through them which only made me like him MORE and he made me promise to keep him updated and#lowkey maybe lowkey highkey thats why im going on the date so i have an excuse to text him and thats not very fan to my actual Date but.#*fair#but also im riding the high of the trip and this crush and once that fades im sure a real human being who wants to get to know me is#the better deal#but rn im just not being very healthy about the whole thing#thoughts and prayers for me#m
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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half 11 at night gender hits different
#i have been having. a weird fucking time#lile everything i thought i knew about myself is a lie kind of weird#like ive been keeping a whole tidal wave back#keeping it ina. box i didnt even know was there most of the time#everytime it tried to get out i shoved it back in so automatically i mostly didnt realise i was doing it#bc man is it uncomfortable#but i am only left with emptiness and disconnect#and everytime i shoved it back in the box got smaller and it was harder to shove back in#and here we are now#and its baffling and it doesnt make any sense but its the only thing that feels like it makes sense and it feels right to step towards it#but im not shoving it in the box again#i could life would be much simpler if i did but id carry on watching the girl in the mirror who's never been real live it instead#and i think sooner or later the box would fucking shatter anyway#WHOO#anywayyy thats enough hyperpersonal life updating for tonight 🤣#it's a very confusing time but also exciting and I've never been more hopeful that this might actually be it#im not ready to say what i think i am yet i can barely say it to myself in plain words but I'll get there 💜#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#maybe delete later
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sib is dreaming of a minecraft savannah rework for some reason and the devs are fuckin around with the villagers and i just wish desert biomes got the same amount of love as the dozen different kinds of forests we have now
i want more variety and interest than a kindergartener's idea of what a desert looks like. i want rock formations and lizards and joshua trees, and rare micro-biomes full of flowers as homage to the spectacle of when it rains as applied to a game where time doesn't really pass, i want oasis sprouting next to bodies of water and sand dunes repeating endlessly so that it feels like you're being swallowed whole
desert update. please
#desert biomes just dont get any love bc most ppl who dont live in one think theyre lifeless and it Hurts#when the lava filled hell dimension has more life than the biome based off a real life one is </3#dont get me wrong i love the nether update its just an example#chatter tag#minecraft#we have red and snow foxes and yet they never gave us fennecs and that is just Rude#the kindergartener comment is maybe a bit ironic in hindsight#i was a magic school bus kid to the bone i Knew about desert ecosystems#much better than the average temperate climate adult anyway i think
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hi c:
#it's been so long since i've properly posted / bee on tumblr dot com#idk like 99% of ppl on here anymore but#hi :)#maybe i'll do real life updates on here once and awhile for the fun#i genuinely missed the tumblr shinee community#anyways#here to party and be dumb#sorry about the anime#not really lmao#do people still talk in the tags idk#also i cant edit my prof on my blog so#ill figure that out at some point
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i was also sposed to write today But I also cleaned my room. so maybe that's better than ocfic
#vwoop.noises#Maybe.#Sometimes I decide this blog is for life updates again sometimes I will be silent for a week. Today Is one of these days#The real answer is I've been rotating My oc in my brain instead of anything shareable. Do the people want to know about the lovely world of#mnecraft roleplay
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I haven’t been actively lately because I only just got internet and phone access where I’m staying rn and I finally have my new sim card in so I can have WIFI HALLELUJAH (I’m only supposed to have 1 hour phone time a day but no one needs to know heheheh)
Anyway I just wanted to say that I nearly died and I will still die and stand for Carson because he is amazing and a good person and season 6 isn’t in character but even if it was what happened to Thomas CLEARLY wasn’t even Carson’s fault and if you say it was then you SUCK and you’re WRONG!!! 😌 CARSON IS MY LIFE AMD MY WORLD AND THATS JUST SOMETHING FHAR YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!
#I’m so happy to have wifi back and I made plans w someone and talked to my mum one to one like a real person and everything’s been insane o#obviously like I was in the icu and now mental ward and it’s been some of the darkest most traumatic time of my life but after talking to th#the right ppl I feel hopeful again and like an entirely difffeernet person from this morning#random tmi life update#hopefully I’ll be able to draw something decent and I can post some Downton animals soon ☺️ lol#force everyone here to care about tiger carson <3#still obsessed with him#weird stuff going ik this is weird but I like just got my internet and tumblr back and I’m like WHEEEEEEwWWWwwW#maybe there can br hope lifean da future for me#also probably the fucking shitton socktail of meds I’m on rn has something t di with it lol#i think I’m getting some more in. a bit but I’m gonna go to the art room or something and try to draw more or whatever#coz it’s too early to sleep and I’m bouncing with energy!#crazy like I couldn’t even walk by myself a couple days ago and now I’m like chatting with everyone and hyper ^~^#idk whether to say I feel good or bad at this point coz idk what either means anymore but#yeah like I need that seeet sweet therapy pls fix my BRAIN and the dr upped my meds so Horay that should help too#suicide mention#not rly but just being safe tagging#death mention#?#idk it. and be triggering though I know#like the topic I mean#anyway I stand by and live carson and if you blame him in any way for Thomas suicide I’ll personally kill you
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i burned the bottom of my foot as a kid after resting it onto a wet cord. and when i say burned, i mean the middle of my pale sole became dark brown (borderline black) and flaky
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
#it was only on the epidermis tho so it just kinda flaked off over the course of the next few days#how did it happen you ask??#(no one asked)#i had (still kinda do but shush i'm smarter now) an INSANE biting problem and no one taught me about wires and electricity yet#so i was just chewing on this cord one day like an IDIOT#and then it sparked in my mouth so i put it down cause ya know OW#and then i happened to touch it with my foot and was literally zapped#sparks actually flew#it stung for like a second or so#and then i looked at my foot and it looked like a burnt toaster strudel#i was alone in the room tho so no one knew and it healed literally so fast that to this day i don't think anyone in my life knows#but now tumblr does- oop#update: just told my sister about it#also if anyone's curious#as far as i know nothing happened internally and i am perfectly fine (in regards to the burn cause i have lots of other issues)#i'm also just now realizing that that was probably my first real near death experience (yes first i have had others since then)#like i think i could've maybe died...welp#(either first or second cause this one and another happened in like the same year so-)
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Just saying that buying a few extra spools of thread or not returning $20 worth of shoe insoles you'll have to buy again for the next show won't save the company that needs millions of dollars to stay afloat... And they won't pat you on the back for it, either.
#real life#i've about had it with this specific person#even *I* always have like five spools of black thread at all times#maybe you won't need to text me to ask where the ONE spool is if you kept your supplies properly updated
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