#update: still normal about karlach

[ballofbitter]

if i was your hero, would you be mine? i know this ain't a fairytale, this is real life but if i were to save you, would you do the same? and catch me if i'm falling you've got my heart on it's knees and it's begging you please don't go

[daughter-lilith]

❅In Every Life❅

Halsin x Fem!Reader | Modern AU, Parallel Universes Part 5 | Read Part 4 here Not the final part. I unintentionally lied in my last post?? I explain at the end of this update. For now, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Another day on modern Earth as you finally wind down for the late night in your quiet home. All is as it should be. All is normal as you prepare for bed. That is, until a tall, hulking man with pointed ears shows up at your doorstep claiming to be your lost love from another time and realm. But he’s a stranger. A stranger who forever changes everything you thought you knew about your life.

Explicit 18+

CW (For whole story): Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Tension, Oral, P in V, Shifting, Pain, Love, Grief, Halsin is Emotional!

Word Count: 7.5k

*Reminder, this is part 5. ⋆ a few tags for some. @stanfordscrush | @lanafofana | @catch-all | @thoughts-of-bear | @agathaharknessfan96 | @niki-is-a-reblog | @avabjorna36 | @acrobatalien42 | @princesspeachtacular | @amorgansgal | @freshlemontea (some tags don't work but the thought is there!)

A downpour of emotions flooded Halsin’s heart all at once. His entire body trembled, heart pounding violently in his ears, and the bear within banged against an invisible cage, claws protruding, swiping, and slashing. The beast roared, the force so tremendous and powerful that Halsin felt it in his bones, surging through his veins like wildfire, and he tossed his head back and thundered an agonizing roar of his own. He felt his eyes burning, cheeks wet and stained with violent tears. When his screaming seized, his throat stung, and the muscles in his arms felt tight and sore as he clenched his fists so hard that the veins in his arms began to bulge. Halsin lowered his head, glaring through watery eyes at the vacant space you once occupied only moments ago.

His shoulders slumped and he finally unclenched his fists, though it only made the trembling in his arms and body worse. He nearly flinched when he felt a sudden warmth wrap itself around his frame, half aware of blue flames flickering on the side of his vision. “Oh Halsin,” the voice said. It sounded like Karlach, but he could hardly see, could hardly think. His mind was dazed, lost, the only function he was aware of was the endless tears leaking from his eyes.

Another set of warmth came around him, then something like a hand on his back. Halsin just sat there, on his knees, hair disheveled with several strands hanging in front of his eyes. Someone squeezed him tighter, sniffling near his ears. His stomach felt so unbelievably tight, his chest heavy and straining under an invisible weight. Images of your teary eyes looking up at him crowded his mind; the thin trails of blood that seeped down the side of your chin as you spoke your final words. It was a dream. No, a nightmare. It had to be.

The two of you were still back home, lying in bed, your naked bodies entangled in one another. The sun’s light was still spilling through the open windows, shimmering over your skin. You were still tracing lazy patterns over the hairs on his strong chest, blessing him with your beautiful gaze and occasional kisses. Nature was still singing just outside of your home, the sweet melodies inviting you both to enjoy the new day. Halsin would roll you on your side, settling himself behind you, feeling the bareness of your body curving so perfectly into him. He would—

“It should have been me… Vlaakith—” a familiar voice stirred Halsin away from the dream, painfully bringing him back into this nightmare.

The rocky surface of the Astral Plane flickered back into view, and he heard her speak again. It was Lae’zel— her voice was lower, faltering as she choked to get her words out. “That was my death. Mine.”

Halsin squeezed his eyes shut, his heart crumbling further. The bear within slumped on the floor, defeated, panting, and exhausted. “Do not say that,” he said, his voice dry and throat still burning. Halsin felt no rage towards Lae’zel, and he knew you wouldn’t want him to. There was only one person responsible, and Lae’zel had already laid her to waste.

He felt a gentle hand rest on his knee, tentative and almost fearful. He was more aware now, of the embrace and physical consolation around him. He could feel their sorrow, their grief, their pain both for him and themselves. No further words were said, only the sounds of quiet weeping and the eerie current of the Astral Plane. Halsin’s head swarmed with a million thoughts as his arms started to feel numb and heavy, useless. The magic that flowed through his essence felt hollow and drained like it too was drowning in the sudden loss.

Halsin thought back to the glowing, healing blue light that he desperately tried to pour into you. And yet it did nothing to heal you, nothing to sustain you long enough to get you out of the Planes. What good was it to be gifted with these powers, to wield such powerful magic that did nothing when he needed it most? They had the means to revive those lost, but there needed to be something to revive.

His heart lurched as the flat of his hands felt the cold ground. Where you should’ve been. Where he, Shadowheart, Gale, anyone could’ve brought you back. But there was nothing to bring back, for the damned Astral Plane robbed him of the chance. Stealing you away when you belonged to Faerûn, belonged to him; his greatest confidant, lover, and best friend.

Oak Father… Halsin thought to himself, desperate for aid, for another chance. He was Silvanus’ chosen, one of his most devout followers, surely he would not forsake Halsin now. But even Halsin knew divine intervention did not come lightly or often. And he knew better than anyone that Silvanus was a god of nature; of respecting its balance, the cycle of life, and sometimes the fierce unpredictability of everything nature brings. To even think of asking the Oak Father for such aid may be considered blasphemous, for he was not a god of necromancy but—

Halsin’s eyes shot open, his blood pumping with purpose. And with renewed strength, he rose higher on his knees, stirring those who embraced him.

“Halsin?” Karlach questioned, letting her arms fall away from him as Halsin now stood to his feet. “What is it?”

Halsin glanced at her, eyes frantic, heart racing. The others peered at him curiously, wiping their faces as they kept their attention on the risen druid. “Withers,” he uttered, his heart rate increasing by the second as he darted his gaze towards Gale whose eyes were red and patchy.

“When have you all seen him last?” Halsin inquired, an intense severity in his voice as his words came out rushed and eager. He quickly swept his eyes over all of his companions, waiting for one, anyone to respond first.

“It’s… it’s been years,” Shadowheart answered first, her cheeks and nose a deep rose, flushed with tears.

Wyll groaned as he moved to stand, and he swiftly used his armored wrist to wipe beneath his nose. “Not since our first reunion,” he added.

“You don’t think…” Gale pondered, eyes slowly widening with realization.

Halsin nodded firmly. “I do.” It had been two decades since they last saw and spoke to Withers. After the first reunion, the skeletal being teleported everyone to their respective homes and journeys, bidding them a very blessed farewell. They had long carried suspicions there was more to Withers than he let on. That he was more than a keeper of records or scribe, but an old, mysterious god perhaps. Still, none of them ever pressed the issue, content with the consistent aid Withers bestowed. But they needed that aid once more— Halsin needed it.

Astarion paced around the group, waving his hands hastily. “Then what’re we waiting for? Let’s go wake up the old bastard.”

Halsin strode towards Gale and Shadowheart, each step swift, his presence demanding before he even said a word. They both stared up at him with an anxious gleam in their eyes beneath the haze of sorrow. When Halsin spoke, his words came out rapidly, hands trembling. “She once told me you all found Withers in some sort of crypt only a few miles from the Grove, how- how quickly can you open a portal there?”

“Um- I- well,” Gale stammered, the wheels in his head turning.

Karlach stepped by Halsin’s side, blue flames still dancing along her skin and hair. “Would he even be willing to help us again? It’s been so long.”

“We must try,” a sharp voice responded. Halsin glanced at Lae’zel who was still kneeling on the ground, her head still bowed.

Shadowheart, frowning, closed her eyes briefly while she turned away. She exhaled a deep breath before speaking, gathering herself. “Halsin… our magic is sapped. We only have the portal we came here in. Perhaps we should rest first and then—

“No,” Halsin’s thunderous voice rumbled the ground beneath their feet. “There is no time for rest. We will merge our energies, focus on the task and make a way.” He spoke with an intense conviction, his tone low. It was not in the way one would speak to their friends, but how a leader would speak to their followers—how an Archdruid would enact their commands.

Silence followed his orders as Halsin eyed everyone in turn, taking in their wary and doubtful appearances. Only Astarion seemed just as impatient as he was, ready to follow whatever was needed. From beyond their group, he noticed Minsc’s lumbering frame posed in front of a horde of allied githyanki warriors, becoming a barrier against those who were curious over their crestfallen victors.

Halsin tightened his brows, his heart loud in his ears as the bear within huffed, displeased at the hesitance before him. “All of you,” he ordered, “reach into the Weave, and link yourselves with me.”

A tender and somewhat firm hand rested on his shoulder. Halsin turned his head to find Wyll, the scars on his face as sullen as his expression. “Brother please, let’s not be hasty. Time is different here, right? If we rest in the Planes, perhaps only a few more minutes would have passed in Faerûn.”

Halsin sneered and shoved his hand off him, marching a few steps away from the group. Fists and teeth clenched, he stared off into the ethereal Planes, a wave of anguish and rage threatening to throw him off his balance. A part of him knew his friends were right, that they needed to rest. His own magic felt faint and dull due to the many times he wild-shaped or desperately tried to heal you.

“Where are you, Withers?” he mumbled roughly, unable to ignore the heat boiling in his blood.

Behind him, Halsin could feel his friends’ silent thoughts, their concern and hesitation to approach him. If they couldn’t help, he’d have to figure it out on his own. Why did he have to bend to time’s will? No. There was always a way, and he would find it as soon as possible.

“H-Halsin?” he heard Gale ask, but Halsin only sighed internally refusing to respond. If Gale could not help him, then there was nothing more to say.

Karlach’s voice arose next, urgent. “Halsin, look.”

Just as she spoke, he felt a surge of energy consume the space around him. A great power that felt foreign to the Astral Plane. Turning, Halsin’s eyes widened at the sight of a massive, green, spherical portal hovering a short distance away from the group. A familiar gaunt figure emerged, dressed in worn dark robes as they sauntered casually into the Planes. Halsin’s stomach lurched and a rush of the most extreme sensation of hope filled his chest. It couldn’t possibly be…and so quickly…

“I have heard thine’s call.” Withers. His rumbling echo of a voice still carried a weight of eeriness and an underlying power. “Once separated by the influence of time, our paths once again merge. Does thou require my services once more?” His dark, hollow eyes passively swept over the stunned companions before deftly landing and remaining on Halsin.

Halsin took three long strides toward the undead entity, his breathing rapidly increasing. He moved like he was almost going to tackle the fragile-appearing figure until Karlach’s strong hand tugged at his forearm.

“Easy there, soldier,” Karlach urged. “Breathe first.”

Halsin swallowed, trying to steady himself while Withers observed coolly, undisturbed by Halsin’s intensity. Towering over the undead man, he took one deep breath, speaking with purpose. “You’ve aided us before- can you aid us now? A resurrection. Any price.”

Withers surveyed Halsin silently, then examined the appearance of his friends before calmly strolling in between the group. With his gaunt arms folded behind his back, he hummed to himself as though analyzing the results of an experiment. Halsin watched intensely as the undead man continued to take in his surroundings. His heart dropped as he watched Withers stop at the very spot Halsin last held you, where he lost you.

“Ah, a hero has fallen,” Withers droned. “A great loss indeed.”

Halsin moved towards him, heart hammering. “Can you bring her back? Please.”

“Please, Withers,” Karlach added, frowning as she stepped near Halsin.

Withers was still for a moment then closed his hollow eyes, extending his skeletal arm over the area you fell. A glowing, green light illuminated his arm and Halsin watched with bated breath as the bear within paced frantically.

Withers made a few humming noises, some faint mumbling as his hand glowed brighter. His hand swayed in side-to-side motions like he was brushing something away or searching through a pile. Withers twitched, and the light burst in his hand before dimming completely. Halsin’s heart dropped at the sight, a part of him sensing something was wrong. Then Withers, ever so calmly, opened his eyes.

“Alas, their spirit has not been found, for it does not linger in the realm of where my power extends.”

Halsin stumbled, his stomach twisting. “What? Then where!?” he bellowed, his thunderous voice powerful enough to shatter the rocks they stood on.

Withers answered, impassive. “I cannot answer, for I do not possess the knowledge of such an answer. Such truths are beyond even my grasp.”

“So there is nothing you can do?” Halsin raged, incredulous. His voice was caught between yelling and trying to control his erratic breaths. “There is nothing you can do? She is just lost, gone forever?”

Withers raised a hand as if to calm him. “The Astral Planes are but a single thread of existence in the great cosmos. Fear not, mortal one, for fate spins as it should. What is lost may simply be lost, not gone.”

“Tsk’va! What good is a master necromancer who cannot perform this very task!” Lae’zel was on her feet now, pointing her sharp nails in Withers’ direction. “Htak’a! Is there nothing you can do!”

“Well isn’t this just marvelous,” Astarion crooned, incredulous. “Our magic is useless, the gods are quiet, and the one oh-so-powerful undead who has helped us several times before suddenly- cannot. How wonderful.”

Halsin surveyed Withers’ decrepit face as he stood almost apathetically, his body unmoving. It was hard to tell what he was feeling within those dark, obsidian eyes—if he was feeling anything at all. Withers seemed utterly unfazed by the chorus of frustrations and the occasional insults directed his way. He had never been one to show a heightened level of emotion before, why would the undead entity begin now? After another moment, Halsin turned away, taking several steps while his mind drifted and the voices of his friends grew muffled with each passing second.

The realm around him suddenly felt so distant and veiled, like he was ambling his way through a cryptic, blurred dream. A dream where angry voices were shouting in the distance but he could not decipher what they were saying, nor did he have the means to care. Withers could not help him, which meant Halsin could not bring you back. You were not just lost to him, you were gone, even your soul was apparently nowhere to be found.

The weight of Halsin’s shoulders felt painfully burdensome, his muscles tight and sore, legs threatening to betray him. The druid was defeated, broken beyond repair. Halsin looked down, bringing the palm of his hands into view at the same time. His calloused hands were streaked with crimson, a notable tremor in both. He lowered his arms and inhaled a deep breath, feeling his heart sink as a tide of gloom and agony tore through his body, penetrating his mind. Even the bear and all his wild shapes retreated deep within his essence, burrowing into the darkest corners they could find.

Halsin lifted his gaze, noticing that Withers was standing before him again, a curious glint in his sunken eyes. His friends were out of his vision, behind him, still arguing amongst themselves about what to do next or which god to call upon. As for Halsin, he had a new goal.

“Withers,” Halsin uttered, quiet as to not alert the others. “May I request one last thing, and I will no longer seek your services.”

Withers did not respond verbally, he simply tilted his head and blinked as though he were permitting Halsin to proceed.

“May you grant me a portal to The High Forest? I wish to go alone. No followers.”

Withers seemed to consider, then very faintly bowed his head.“As thou wishes.” Withers turned, lifting his hand with his palm outward as though he was ordering someone to stop. Green orbs began to glow in the center of his hollowed eyes and in the next moment, a shimmering, emerald portal flickered to life before them.

The druid stared at the sphere of green light and mist buzzing with power, waiting to be used. Halsin, posture sullen, began to step towards the waiting portal but stopped just before entering. He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of hasty steps rushing towards him. Withers lifted a hand, and his friends were instantly repelled by an invisible barrier, splitting them from Halsin.

“Hey, what the fuck is this Withers!” Karlach shouted, the pain in her voice palpable.

“Be at ease, child of fire. For the druid has requested to journey in solitude.”

Karlach scoffed, banging once at the transparent bubble that shimmered on each contact. “Journey huh? Wherever you think you’re going, big guy, we’re coming with you!”

“No,” Halsin responded, stern. “This is a path I tread alone now.” He turned away, fully facing the portal again, unable to hold her grievous eyes any longer. “Forgive me for this dejected departure, and goodbye my friends.”

“So, that’s it then?” Astarion yelled, taking a turn to thrash at the barrier. “You’re leaving us, too?” His voice seemed to choke and a harsh hiss escaped as he breathed.

“No, brother! We should stick together,” Wyll chimed in, a faint crack in his voice, “now more than ever.”

Halsin closed his eyes, stung by the pain in their voices, the desperate need to cling close together. But his heart was drained and weak, his body dense and heavy— soul shattered. And his friends, they were too much of a reminder of what they all lost.

The shouts and cries of their pleas tormented him, hearing their aggressive pounding on the magical barrier. He heard curses at Withers, vocal incantations, and consistent calls for his name. But the elf’s mind had been set, he wanted out of this blasted Plane- alone. And they could not convince him otherwise. So without sparing another glance, Halsin, head hung a bit low, walked through the portal crafted just for him. Immediately, he was greeted by tall trees and a fading sun as the sound of a loud whoosh erupted behind him, and the portal vanished.

Two years had passed since Halsin lost you. Two years since he walked away from his friends in the Astral Plane, effectively cutting himself off from any contact. The mighty elf found himself sitting in a tavern along the northern part of the Sword Coast, in the coastal city of Neverwinter that was a few hundred miles north of Waterdeep. He was pausing for the night to restock before he headed even further north, deep into the wilderness, alone once again.

Two years since he left the Astral Plane, and two years since he returned to a life of roaming, lacking the strength to return home. After spending days mourning in The High Forest, Halsin knew he couldn’t go back to the home you and him created together. His home was solely with nature now, in every and any region he could reach. Unfortunately for him, his current path had him passing through a city at his displeasure, for it had been quite some time since Halsin was surrounded by such dense civilization that the noise of collective chatter felt foreign to him.

Just the one night, he reminded himself. One night, then he would proceed north to Icewind Dale, the furthest reach of the northwestern coast, and deep into the forests along the mountainside. Winter was coming, and the bear was craving a long rest far away from civilization.

Halsin sat in the corner of the lively tavern, next to long open windows that gave a wide view of the beach and sea beyond. He hadn’t meant to pass through such a busy place, but aimlessly found himself traveling along the coast on his way north, directly into the heart of Neverwinter. While he was there, he chose to stop to fill his belly, and perhaps stay for at least half a night to rest before he packed up and moved on.

He would occasionally scan the massive room, drawn towards the bard’s lively tune on stage and the many patrons who linked arms and danced to the joyous melody. They laughed and swirled, some still holding their jugs in hand while their feet carried them across the wooden floors. Radiant musical notes hovered around the stage with some floating above the dancing patrons, the sparkling magic leaping to the same rhythm.

Halsin noted the bliss on everyone’s faces, and he wanted to smile, to bask in the jubilant energy… but joy seemed to no longer have a home in Halsin’s heart. It had been two years since he last felt a genuine smile smooth its way onto his face. Two years since he laughed and danced, losing himself to the enthralling tunes amongst wonderful company.

He closed his eyes, jaw clenching before he took a sip of the harsh gin, hot and brutal down his throat. He used to detest the stronger liquors but found more comfort in them these days. The potent burn of the taste was but a brief discomfort, a door that opened into the calmness that followed.

Halsin’s eyes swept across the coastline from his seat, his mind partially adrift. But he wasn’t oblivious to the curious glances and hushed whispers when he first walked in, even more so once he found a place to sit down. For an elf the size of a half-orc, he was used to the wondrous stares whenever he entered new places.

Feeling an oncoming presence, Halsin turned to find two patrons sauntering towards him—a drow and a half-elf. They seemed young; the half-elf couldn’t have been over sixty, and the drow could have been anywhere between thirty and two hundred. They both wore playful smirks as they approached, eyeing Halsin keenly.

The drow stopped in front of the table. Her pink eyes, like cherry blossoms, analyzed Halsin’s face with a sparkle of excitement. “We don’t mean to intrude but… are you the Archdruid Halsin?” Her voice was smooth as silk, white hair brushed neatly down her back.

Halsin cleared his throat, leaning back, and the wooden seat creaked slightly under his weight as he moved. “Former Archdruid.”

Their eyes widened in delight and the half-elf stepped forward. “But still a master I’m sure. We’ve heard many... intriguing things about you, one being that you can turn into a bear for hours,” the half-elf exclaimed with a praising voice, his green eyes full of interest. He then gestured to the vacant seating across from Halsin. “May we?”

Halsin thought about it for a moment, torn between clinging to his solitude and not wanting to deny a potentially friendly conversation. It had been weeks since he had a proper chat with anyone, perhaps it was time to mend that. So he nodded his head and the pair eagerly slid in across.

The drow leaned forward, the descending sun emphasizing the pink in her irises, extenuated by her lilac skin. Before she spoke, her lips curved into a slight frown. “Apologies but, we couldn’t help but notice you seemed rather… downtrodden. Lonely, even.”

“A hero of Baldur’s Gate deserves company,” said the half-elf, a friendly smirk on his face.

Halsin half chuckled, darting his eyes between the pair. He analyzed their postures, how they leaned closer to the table in his direction, but also how their shoulders and arms touched naturally… familiar. Their clothing was sleek and tight fitting, save for the long thin coat the half-elf wore. They were both matching with a deep royal blue, fashioned with golden embroidery patterns, wealth seemed to be of no trouble to them.

“I rather enjoy quiet time alone,” Halsin told the pair, their smiles mildly falling. “But I will not shy away from welcoming conversation.”

The drow smirked, blinking slowly through her long lashes. “If it’s solitude you seek, you’ve chosen a rather interesting establishment.”

Halsin released a soft, quick laugh. “Interesting indeed. But I am just passing through.”

“Oh? And to where is your true destination, might we ask?” inquired the half-elf, a genuine intrigue in his tone.

“Further north, near the mountains,” Halsin told them, terse, not wanting to divulge the specifics.

“Hmm, there’s not much fun up there,” said the half-elf. “And the cold can be frigid and unforgiving I hear.”

The drow nodded in agreement. “You should stay here, basking in the gentle warmth of the city. This place is called Neverwinter for a reason, courtesy of the elemental magic warming our waters.”

Halsin sighed, taking a moment to glance out the window towards the sea. The air was strangely warm there, considering how north they were and almost at the turn of the next season. “Tempting but… my purpose remains. I am here for the night and journey onward tomorrow.”

The drow pursued her lips like she was thinking, a hint of a sulk on her dark-painted lips. She glanced briefly at her partner before locking eyes with Halsin again. She slid her nails across the table in the direction of Halsin’s mug, stopping just shy of his fingers. “Well then, former Archdruid, since we are pressed for time, allow us to be forward with you. We’ve heard more tales than just that of your bear but that you are also quite… skilled in other aspects.”

Halsin inspected them closely, humming in response with a slight tilt of his head. The faintest smirk touched his face, but he said nothing, curious to hear more of the presumably oncoming proposal.

Beside the drow, her partner spoke. “If you are interested,” he began, his green eyes bright against the contrast of his pure black hair. “We’d like to invite you to share in our bed tonight. A hero deserves to be praised, after all.”

Halsin leaned back slightly, his finger obliviously tapping against his mug. A faint feeling simmered deep within his abdomen as he surveyed the couple. The lightest stir of a change in his pulse. As he began to ponder, the drow quickly continued their request.

“You needn’t do much, master Halsin. It would be our pleasure to take care of you,” she murmured sweetly, one slender finger of hers daring to stroke along Halsin’s. “But we also wouldn’t be opposed to more… wilder sides of your druidic charms.”

“Just for the night,” the half-elf added with a sly smile. He confidently placed both hands on the table, slowly clasping them together while he awaited the druid’s answer.

Halsin gave a deep intake of breath, slow and pondering. His gaze shifted between the couple across him, their eyes watching him eagerly, a hidden flush of want and need. Halsin, in his long life, was no stranger to the attention of being desired. Many considered him to be quite exotic, awakening things within themselves when Halsin was in their sights. And it had been long since he felt the touch of another, the touch of you….

He felt himself take another deep breath as a flutter of the faintest nerves danced in his abdomen. He could not deny that the couple before him were pleasing to the eyes, and they were open and willing to invite him into their private lives for the night.

Halsin had willingly secluded himself to the bellies of nature almost entirely, like he was betrothed to it alone. But he was never promised to it. And right now that very nature was reminding him of the many gifts it offered. To deny it was to deny nature itself.

Halsin raised his mug to his lips and then downed the rest of the strong liquid once and for all. He kept his eyes on the pair as he did this and watched as the drow parted her mouth, her bottom lip seemed to quiver with an unseen gasp.

“Alright,” Halsin said, feeling a warmth pass through his torso as he agreed. “Just for the night.”

The drow clasped her hands with an excited giggle as the half-elf simply smirked and nodded his head. Halsin watched him rise, then extended his arm out to the side. “Let us lead the way, we rest our heads not far from here.”

Halsin stood from his seat and immediately towered over the couple, especially the drow. He heard a pleasing breath leave the half-elf’s mouth as his eyes swept over Halsin’s frame with unabashed praise. The druid noticed a few patrons casting curious glances at the trio as they strode through the tavern toward one of the exits.

Halsin’s long cloak swayed with him as he marched with confident strides through the streets while the pair occasionally glanced over their shoulders to ensure he was still there. But despite the confident advance in his long legs, and the even and focused expression he wore, Halsin’s stomach proceeded to twist and flip. It was not the first time he experienced such a feeling before acts of physical intimacy, but it was rare when it came to strangers. He was confident in his performance and cared not for the opinions and judgments of those he did not know, so why was a storm brewing within?

“We’re here,” the drow suddenly said, turning towards a grand, three-story home that was connected to a row of other houses and shops.

Halsin repressed his anxious thoughts and walked up the few steps into the house. Inside was warm, and the smell of pure vanilla and something unknown to him filled his nose, but it was sweet and inviting, sultry even. Halsin strolled further in, stepping on a rather expensive-looking red rug that covered dark brown flooring.

“This way, please.” The drow winked at him before strolling up a wide staircase with the half-elf on her heels.

Halsin exhaled, steadily aware of the rising beat of his heart. He followed them up the stairs, the steps croaking beneath his mighty weight. A breeze from an open window tickled his face and swayed his cloak as they reached the top of the stairs. The gentle song of windchimes rattled throughout the quiet house, save for the sounds of distant voices on the streets and the trio’s concentrated footsteps inside.

The couple led Halsin into a lavish, quiet room with several accents of reds and purples: the curtains, sheets, and various flowers adorning two massive wardrobes. There was a large bed at the center, decorated with bulky pillows and another red rug beneath the bed’s stand.

Halsin came to a stop but swayed slightly as a shift in his heartbeat caused a quick intake of breath. His stomach was beginning to tighten, much to his dismay, but he willed himself to force those sensations away. This was far from his first experience with couples— two at once was neither a challenge nor spectacle, so why was his body acting as such?

A sharp but quiet sigh drew from his lips at the feeling of the drow knowingly brushing her shoulder along Halsin’s side as she sauntered past him and toward the bed. She spun around once she reached the end of the bed, her movement slow and alluring. The half-elf gave Halsin a sultry wink as he came to stand parallel to her but with enough room in between. With a tantalizing smile, the half-elf gestured his arm towards the space between the couple, an invitation.

“Come, master druid, let us care for you,” the drow droned, a sultry purr calling out to him. Inside, the bear stirred, curious at the hint of long-dormant sensations being gradually stimulated.

Halsin half smiled, rolling his shoulders back which made him appear even taller, a powerful presence. “Remove your garments first. When there are more than one involved, it brings me pleasure to stand as a witness for a short time,” he told them with a confident pitch. However, his words were not entirely true.

While he did enjoy watching one rid themselves of the fabrics that shielded what nature blessed them with, he wasn’t one to linger on the sidelines much when other parties were involved, typically joining the affair with haste. But he felt the strangest need to give himself time, to ease the lurking monster of nerves threatening to simmer across his torso.

“Show me how you care for each other, and how you would wish to care for me,” Halsin said, the vigor of his voice deep and unintentionally commanding.

But this only seemed to entice the couple more. Obliging, the half-elf reached behind the drow’s neck and drew her in for an immediate, deep, needy kiss. A soft whine left her lips as the half-elf moved his hand to fiddle with the back of her constricting gown, loosening the ties and freeing her skin from its embrace. Halsin huffed a small pocket of hair, watching as her perky, lilac breasts bounced lightly. The half-elf groaned as her slender hands moved deftly over his buttoned trousers. With experienced speed and grace, the couple wasted no time freeing themselves from what few layers they wore.

Halsin readjusted his stance in response to a familiar twitch fueling his blood. The scent of a swelling salacity fluttered in the bedroom as the couple fondled and caressed the smooth, hairless planes of their bodies. Halsin quietly admired the curve of the drow’s body and the tight lines of muscle in the half-elf’s lithe physique. He watched her pull him into a searing, wet kiss, slowly reaching upward to thread her fingers through his short, black hair. The half-elf left her lips, gliding his tongue down her neck and chest before closing his lips over one of her violet nipples.

A satisfied sigh left her mouth as she tilted her head back, exposing her long neck. She yelped as the half-elf's other hand slipped between her thighs, and Halsin could barely make out his thumb running down the middle of her folds, disappearing within. His large chest rose and fell as he watched the pair, a low heat tingling over his skin. He could almost imagine the bear within rising on all fours, enticed to watch more.

The half-elf licked a long trail back up her chest, capturing her lips in another heated kiss. The drow chuckled lightly as she placed both of her palms flat on her lover's chest, halting him from further movements. “Patience my darling,” she murmured, nearly breathless. “We have another to pleasure tonight.”

The half-elf gave a closed-mouthed grin before releasing her. She turned away from him, her naked body facing Halsin fully, chest slick from her lover’s kisses. She was a beautiful creature, Halsin could not deny it. Nature was often incredibly talented with its canvases. Her eyes peered at him, dark with lust, cheeks already so flushed, and Halsin released an unstable breath as she sauntered towards him.

“Join us, master druid. Grant us your touch,” she purred, closing the short distance in little time. She placed a tender hand at the center of Halsin’s clothed chest. “Grant us the pleasures of your taste.”

A peculiar feeling cut across his stomach when she touched him, like a spark, but it was unlike one of sudden pleasure or pain. He couldn’t quite interpret it and cared not to, for it was fleeting, already gone the moment he started to ponder about it.

From behind the drow, Halsin caught the eye of the half-elf sitting on the bed, leaning back on his elbow, his bare legs wide open as he observed his lover and the druid. The half-elf reached for his long erection that rested on his thigh and began slowly playing with himself, as though in anticipation to watch his drow lover seduce and praise the druid.

“So thick with muscle,” the drow breathed as her hand traveled along the wide planes of Halsin’s strong chest. Her eyes roved over him appraisingly, and she leaned up towards his face, a soft gasp leaving her lips. “And such scars… a true fighter you are.” Her breath tickled his skin and a shiver ran down his back, accompanied by the same bizarre flip in his stomach. Still, Halsin felt himself swelling, breaching against the confines of his trousers.

The drow raised one hand to the side of his face and gently coaxed him to bend down towards her. Halsin caught a light floral aroma hovering over her skin as she rose on her toes, closing the distance. Her breath felt surprisingly cool as she angled her chin towards his mouth. Halsin watched her closely, her pupils so dilated with a brazen desire like she was already intoxicated from the exertion of passion before they even began.

With bated breath, he watched her eyelids close as her lips pressed softly against his own. Another flip inside his stomach, this time stronger, fiercer. A shiver rocketed over his skin but it wasn’t pleasurable, and his abdomen tightened. Halsin stood still, the wheels in his head spinning, his entire body growing rigid with each passing second. It felt bizarre, it felt wrong. The drow’s touch felt wrong, his body rejecting.

“You can kiss me, druid,” the drow murmured, smiling as she stared into his eyes after pulling away briefly. She leaned forward once more but Halsin drew back, causing her to gasp softly in surprise as her hand fell away.

“Perhaps this was a mistake,” he said, as gently as he could. All desire that was rising in his blood was rapidly waning, his heart pacing for other reasons entirely. Even the firmness of his cock began to reverse, the interest in what was to come no longer enough to awaken it.

The drow simply smiled, whining playfully. “Aww, don’t say that.” She bit her bottom lip, staring at his mouth with supreme volumes of yearning. “I can be slower if you’d like. I can ease all of the tension I know is trapped in those broad shoulders.” She reached for his face again—

“You cannot.” Halsin gripped her wrist, not enough to harm her but enough to seize her movements. The sternness in his voice sliced through the room, the aura of an Archdruid, destroying all flavor of the carnal atmosphere.

A flicker of surprise and fear flashed in her pink irises, and from the corner of his eye he noticed the half-elf take a cautious step towards them, eyes narrowed, but Halsin continued. “There is only one whose touch I crave most, and I will not find that here. May you both enjoy yourselves.” He let go of her wrist, then glanced once at the half-elf before turning his large body away from the couple and headed out of the bedroom.

The last he remembered was their dumbfounded stares as he turned to leave, having not a single care about what else they might have to say to convince him to stay. They still had each other, far more than what Halsin had, and that would have to be enough.

Halsin was already back outside, marching faster through the streets than he realized, ignoring all curious glances and stares along the way. The indecipherable noises, faces, and scents were a blur as he almost blindly strode down the stone-paved streets. His heart was hammering, his breathing coming in rapid, trembling currents. He needed to be alone again, to throw himself into the solitude that he should’ve never released in the first place.

His large legs brought him back to the lodgings adjacent to the tavern. He stormed inside, ignoring any greetings, and made his way upstairs where the volume from the streets became muffled. Halsin rushed through his door, slamming it behind him, and immediately fell forward against it. His forearm was leaning against the large door, with his head resting against the taut muscle.

He stared aimlessly at the mahogany floor, so incredibly aware of his blood rushing through his veins. “My heart,” he uttered, shakily. “I need you.” Images of your sweet face flooded his mind, the harmonious sounds of your laughter echoing in his ears, a faint memory.

Maybe two years was too soon, maybe he needed more time. He immediately buried that thought, there would never be enough time. “You are still all I want,” Halsin whispered, feeling his eyes starting to burn, naively hoping you’d somehow respond.

“Silvanus give me strength.” He closed his eyes, desperately trying to level his breathing, to calm his thundering heart.

It had been two years since he felt the true touch of another. Two years since he felt your touch. For someone of his lifespan, one would think he'd be immune to the effects of two simple years. But it was far from simple. Two years felt like two lifetimes without you by his side. Nature offered him a chance today to reap its bounties, but his heart was unmoved, his flesh disinterested.

One night. Just one night of rest, and he would gather his things and continue north to Icewind Dale. He’d trek deep into the wilderness for the next few weeks or months, alone again with nature and the memories of you. He’d spend his nights finding you in his meditations, and sometimes when he was exhausted enough, his dreams.

The thoughts alone sent a shrill up his back as he proceeded to conjure more images of you, imagining you standing right behind him, comforting him. Halsin sighed, deep, his body prickling at the visual of you running your hands up his abdomen, pressing yourself against him while you whispered alluring praises and admirations in his ears. 

He could almost feel it, the ghost of your touch, an airy sensation hovering over his long body, blanketing him in love and desire. A voice tickled his ear, breathy and sweet, and he let his eyes flutter closed, bringing his other arm against the door to better support his weight. His mouth curved into a closed smile at the faint sound of his name again, from a voice he adored from the moment it graced his ears a little over twenty years ago. Your voice, a sweet tune blessed by the gods themselves.

A sensation of peace washed over him at the feel of your touch, almost swearing he could feel the pressure of it as though you were truly right behind him. His heart thumped in his ear, desire coursing through him once again. With his eyes closed, he could picture you much clearer, could feel you better. “Halsin…” He swore he could hear you whispering right along the tip of his ear. And he sighed happily, smiling wider now.

“I’m here, my heart.” His words were soft leaving his lips, falling deeper into the image of you and the surroundings he created in his mind’s eye.

“Halsin?”

This time your voice sounded much clearer, like it was a part of his realm, his space. Halsin released a deep breath, blinking rapidly a few times like he was shaking off a daze. The memory of himself leaning on the door washed away like sand being called to the ocean.

“Halsin?” you asked for a third time, tilting your head to survey his face. Halsin blinked, exhaling as his warm eyes found yours.

You smiled, running a finger teasingly down his center as you held his gaze. “I lost you for a moment… It seems like we’re both experiencing much tonight.” You stroked his cheeks tenderly, speaking so softly and he immediately weakened at your touch.

Halsin, chuckling quietly, nodded in agreement. “It would appear so.” His brief laughter waned and he shook his head, slightly frowning, surprised at how overcome with emotion he was that he let his mind drift in such a way. “I never thought I’d feel your touch again, and yet…” he trailed off, breathing deeply as took you in, his entire being teeming with pure elation. “You are here and I fear my very mind and soul can scarcely handle it.”

Your hands were solid against him, real, no longer just a spectral touch of longing memories and fantasies. And though he was larger than you by far, it was your touch that he felt so unbelievably safe in, your eyes that he trusted more than anyone. He traveled dimensions for you, and he’d do it again and again, letting no god or cosmic force get in his way.

“Then let us ground each other tonight,” you said to him. He felt your thumb swipe over his bottom lip before resting at the corner of his mouth. “I’m with you, my Halsin. Are you with me?”

Halsin leaned down, resting his forehead against yours, never breaking his gaze. “I am with you, my love. I am truly, truly with you.”

Okay, part 5 was supposed to be the final. Taking a mini trip into what Halsin went through wasn't a part of the original plan, but I had the idea come to me literally a day after posting part 4 and I couldn't shake it! Our favorite druid went through a lot! Was this part necessary? Not really, but I think it makes the reunion all the more sweeter and powerful. And lastly, I mentioned a few names in this chapter: Neverwinter, High Forest, Icewind Dale. I'm sure some are already familiar with the names, but if it helps with the visuals of where these places are, I wanted to share a link of a map this awesome person created! The places mentioned are all on the west to north-western coast of the mainland, along the Sword Coast. Baldur's Gate is far below Neverwinter, in the middle of the coast. See you soon!

[redlittlefoxari]

Astarion Epilogue An Adventure in Making Life: Chapter Ten: Little White Dress

Relationship: Astarion X Tav

Warnings: NSFW 18+, smut, blood, violence, sex, blood drinking, pregnancy.

Summary: All hell breaks lose as Tav and Astarion share with the rest of the party that you are expecting.

~~~~This Chapter contains Smut~~~~

Master List

People who wished to be tagged: @ofmyth-andmagicart @lunaredgrave @littlekidsteve @omnia--mea-mecum-porto @ayselluna @myreadingmanga123 @kismet-of-the-divine @nicalysm @justlilpeaches21

If you want to be tagged in future updates, send me a message.

Twelve weeks pregnant

“I knew it! I knew something was up with the two of you!” Shadowheart was practically out of her seat as she spoke. “I just didn’t know it was his. I thought the two of you just got a segregate or something.” 

“We're going to be an aunt and Uncle Wyll, isn’t it amazing!” Karlach released the hold she had on herself and let her excitement spring free. Shaking Wyll like he was a rag doll. 

“Yes, that is amazing, Karlach dear, but could you stop shaking me? I fear I’m going to be sick.” At his words, Karlach stopped shaking him, and he placed one hand on the table and one on his stomach to try and stop the room from spinning. 

“That…That’s amazing, you two.” Gale looked positively shocked. “I just have a few questions, if you don’t mind.” The others nodded in unison. 

After what seemed like hours of being questioned by your friends, the food was finally served. Gale had spared no expense for the meal, crafting each dish so that everyone had what they wanted and what they would enjoy the most. You sliced into a relatively rare steak and watched as the red blood covered your plate, causing you to salivate. Your pregnancy cravings had two settings, sweet and bloody; there was no in-between. 

When you took a rather large bite, Gale started to ask more questions. He was always searching for knowledge, and the topic of vampire children was something that was yet to be covered majorly. It felt like he was entirely too interested and asking far too many questions so he could publish a book on the topic and be credited as the one who found out how it was done. 

“Tell me again, how exactly did you manage this astounding feat?” Gale had a large glass of red wine beside him and began slicing into his own dinner that you had no doubt paired nicely with his steak. 

“When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they…” Astarion spoke for you while your mouth was full of meat and blood. 

“Asatrion, I know how sex works. What I want to know is how her fey blood allowed your seed to impregnate her.” Gale looked at Astarion, not too pleased to be getting a talking to about the birds and the bees. 

“We don’t know, maybe since he’s also technically still a high elf, my ovaries allowed it.”  You said after you swallowed your mouth full of steak. “What we do know is I’m pregnant, it's his, and I’m a walking miracle.” 

“I can see why you kept this a secret. There’s no telling what would happen if people found out what you were carrying.”Glae took a small bite of his food. 

“What do you mean?” You placed your knife and fork on your plate. 

“I only mean that vampires aren’t people's cup of tea usually. And there's a reason why there is not a lot of knowledge about half vampire half humanoid children….” Gale hesitated, not wanting to go on.

“And why is that?” Astarion stared at Gale, a challenge in them. 

“They’re hailed as being unholy abominations and killed…” Gale looked down at his plate, not wanting to meet yours or Astarion’s eyes. 

“We won’t let that happen! Aunty K and Uncle Wyll will not let that happen.” Karlach slammed her fist on the table. 

“No, we will not.” Wyll echoed his wife's sentiment. “We will just have to keep the fact that they are Half-vampires a secret. How is it that people normally find out the parentage?” 

“Other vampires, usually it’s almost as if they can smell it.” They all looked at Astarion. 

“We can. There’s a particular odor that goes with the undead. I hide mine because I can’t stand the smell.” Astarion looked at you, noting the color that had drained from your face. “We can do the same for our child, dear.” 

You reached for Astarion’s hand under the table, and he did the same. This opened up a whole new fear. Maybe if you moved out of the city, that would lessen your chances of being discovered. Though, as far as you knew, the last vampire to grace the city was Cazador, and since then, it had just been Astarion these last fifty years. He never mentioned smelling another vampire. 

“There hasn’t been another vampire in Baldur’s gate since Cazador… right?” You looked at Astarion. 

“No, I don’t know why usually there is always a vampire lord in a large city. Maybe they are afraid after what happened to the last one.” You saw his eyes glaze over, going a thousand realms away, and squeezed slightly. He returned the squeeze, gently glancing at you sideways and sending you a small smile. 

“What about the rest of the population?” Shadowheart spoke up. “Are they going to be a threat?”

“Astarion walks around, and normal people can’t tell he’s a vampire… Well, unless they look at his teeth.” Gale said as he tilted his head.

Astarion flashed him his best shit-eating grin.”It took you all days before you realized, and it was only because this one woke up and caught me.” He gestured towards you.

“Then we should be fine. They probably won’t have long fangs like Astarion, and we’ll teach them not to go around biting people unless they deserve it.” You picked up your glass of blood and blueberry juice and took a long swallow. The blood and juice mixture coating your tongue and filled your belly.

“I should have known you weren’t drinking wine this whole time.” Shadowheart picked up her own glass. “I can smell the blood from here.” 

“Yeah, all the signs were there, but at the time, none of you knew Astarion had it in him to knock me up.” You smiled at Astarion as he glared at you. 

“I was always more than capable. I just didn’t know I could, and if I did, I would have been trying a lot harder to do so all these years.”  He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed the ring that he had placed on your finger earlier that day. 

You felt your face grow hot as you thought about all the ways he would prove that to be true. Every night, a different position, and every night, you would scream his name in ecstasy. Astarion could sense your arousal and mouthed one word in response. Later. 

“You two are disgusting.” Shadowheart took a long drink of her wine.

“And you’re just jealous you don’t have someone to make love to.” Astarion’s eyes didn’t break from yours. “This child will be loved and protected. I can promise you that no one will harm them or you for as long as I still draw breath.”

“Fuck.” You cursed as his decoration of love and devotion to you and your child only stoked the fire growing in you more.

The others looked away, looking as if they wanted to be anywhere but where they were now. 

“If the two of you are going to…. I gave you a private room for a reason… Please use it.” Gale pushed his plate away. 

“Oh, we’ve already broken in the room, Gale.” Astarion stood up slowly. “One thing you can write about if you are going to publish a book about vampire humanoid babies is that the hormones the mate gives off are simply irresistible.” 

“Don’t call me your mate; that's creepy and weird.” You stood along with him. “We’re not animals.” 

“No but we Certainly act like we are in heat.” 

Astarion extended his hand to you, and taking it, he led you towards the stairs. You twisted your fingers in with his, creating a weave that even Mystra couldn’t untangle. The hormones racing through you felt as if someone had placed a lust curse on you. Every inch of you buzzed with the need to have Astarion touch you, taste you and have him fill you. 

“See you all in the morning. Don’t wait up.” Astarion said as he moved up the stairs towards your room. 

You and Astarion made your way toward the room that neither one of you would be leaving the rest of the night. Reaching the stairs, you slowly made your accent, the wetness between your legs growing slicker as you thought about everything you wanted him to do to you. Astarion looked at you sidelong, and you saw that he was doing the same. You peered down to see his length straining against his pants. 

“Don’t you wish you could not wear pants to Astarion?” You turned your focus back to traversing the stairs, your legs growing weak from your thoughts. 

“I’m not sure the others would have liked me coming down for dinner in nothing but what the gods gave me.” He said as you made it to the top of the stairs just down the hall from your room. 

“Probably not.” You turned the corner, now entirely out of sight from the others. “But maybe n…”

You were cut off as Astarion pinned you against the wall, his body flush against yours. his erection pushing into you. You moaned as his lips collided with yours, and his tongue entered your mouth. doing a full sweep of the area before pulling out and biting your lower lip. He let go and looked at you hungrily.

“Gods, you smell delicious, my love.” His teeth moved down to your neck but paused just short of taking a bite. “And you tasted divine earlier.”

You could feel his fangs on your neck just above your skin, primed and ready to sink in if only you asked. You turned your head to the side to give him a better angle. He still hesitated. His hot breath came out in short bursts on your neck, and you could sense his animalistic need to feed. 

“Is it because you bit me earlier? Is that why you won’t bite me now.” You pulled back, no longer feeling his teeth or breath on your neck. Placing your hand on the side of his face, you forced him to look at you. His eyes were dilated. “What if I feed from you first?” 

“That would work.” He turned his neck towards you, giving you the left side of his neck. The one you bit a few weeks prior. 

“Not out here.” You grabbed his hand once again and led him to your room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. 

Astarion stood in the middle of the room, looking at you in anticipation. You stared back at him, not knowing what to do. The last time, it was rough and full of need. This time, you wanted it to be a little different. 

You pulled off your dress, exposing your body to him, not breaking eye contact, but for the split moment, the gown went over your eyes. Astarion drank you in, looking up and down as he took in your naked form. He moved to touch you, and you put your hand up. 

“You too, Astarion. Get naked.”

Astarion gave you a cheeky smile as he pulled off his doublet, then his shirt, boots, and then his pants, making sure that they would be last. His length sprang free, and you felt yourself grow even hotter as you drank in his form. He did an added spin for good measure, letting you see all of him. 

“If our child has half of both our good looks, then they’re going to have an easy life.”Astarion’s fingers shook as he spoke. He longed to touch you but waited for you all the same. 

“Sit down on the bed, Astarion.” He did as you asked. 

You walked over and sat on his lap, your button sitting between his legs so that both your legs were hanging over his right leg. You kissed just under his left jawline, and you felt his length stiffen more as it sat against your leg. You trailed light kisses down to his neck just by his jugular, paying extra attention to that area. 

“Are you teasing me, or have you lost your nerve to bite me?” Astarion sounded out of breath. 

“Patients Astarion.” You placed your teeth on his skin like had done to you earlier when he was fighting his instincts to bite you. “Good things come to those who wait.”

At that, you sunk your teeth in, breaking the skin and feeling his hot blood enter your mouth. He flung his head back and moaned as your tongue probed and sucked the holes you made in his skin. You sucked until you couldn’t taste his blood anymore on your tongue, pulling away from his skin with a pop.

Astarion moved his head to look at you. This was only the second time you had bitten him, and from the look on his face, it would not be the last. He grabbed and twisted you so that you now laid on the bed with your legs between his and them hanging slightly off the bed. He placed a hard, needy kiss against your lips and slid his tongue into your mouth once more. 

“The taste of me on your tongue is something I want to taste every day, my love.” He broke the kiss. “And it’s time I returned the favor. 

He moved to your neck, wasting no time as he sunk his fangs into your skin. You gasped, Since being pregnant, this is one thing that you missed the most. The feeling of his fangs in you as he sucked blood from your veins was simply erotic, and you could see why there were so many erotic novels about vampires. 

You reached your hand down to find his hard length, taking it in your hand and pumping it slowly. Astarion moaned into your neck as he sucked more of your blood out and into him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and used your hand to place him at your entrance. Arching your hips slightly, he slid into you, and Astarion gasped, pulling away from your neck. 

“Don’t stop.” You said as you angled your neck to give him a better angle. “Feed and Fuck Astarion.”

“Gods, I love you.” 

Astarion’s fangs sunk back into your neck and, as he did, started a slow, lazy thrust of his hips in and out of you. The feeling of his fangs in you, taking your blood, and the feeling of his length taking his pleasure sent you close to the edge. You moaned his name as his slow, lazy thrusts turned into harder, needier thrusts. 

He pulled his fangs from your neck, not waiting to drink too much, just taking as much as you took from him. Astarion hooked his hands under your knees, allowing you to rest them as he thrusted into you harder. Pulling almost entirely out before slamming back into you. You moved your hand to your now swollen and sensitive clit, rubbing circles and allowing your climax to grow faster. 

You looked at the holes you made in his neck and thought about the hole in yours that would match the thought pushing you over the edge of your climax. As you moaned, his name Astarion soon followed after the mix of you tightening around him and his name on your lips being too much for him to contain himself. You felt him fill you fully as he still thrusted his length inside you, milking his own orgasm to completion. 

“We should definitely get into the practice of trying to make children,” Astarion said as he leaned down to kiss you. “I have never seen you so aroused.” 

He placed a hard kiss on your lips. “I agree; how many do you want? three ? four?Though it took us fifty years to conceive this one.”

This child was a miracle in itself; truth be told, you weren’t sure Astarion and yourself could handle more than one child. Let alone this one. 

“True.“ He was grinning ear to ear. “But we can sure try.”

[ineadhyn]

Playing Astarion good aligned and what that meant for his character - a completely unnecessary but fascinating analysis

So the idea was: entirely good aligned Astarion origin playthrough

However I can't just do that, it has to fit into his character somehow. It has to make sense to me, so I did analyze and justify and this is what I came up and how it is going:

Normally Astarion escapes Cazador gets tadpoled and is a menace, a violent bastard who lashes out, barely contains how hurt he is and tries to get people to like him the only way he knows: through sex.

What if Astarion is the main character? The leader? If he figures people would like him if he is good or at least pretends to be. He notices quickly that people approve of good deeds and oh, how good the praise and gratitude feels. So Astarion tries being good for a change. People are easy to believe he's genuine because they want him to be, especially good souls like Karlach.

He still hooks up with Lae'zel, but figures quickly that his body is far less powerful than his arrow in the right throat. It's not worth it getting on his back anymore. Also he has set his eyes on the wizard (Gale was very suppportive about Astarion's vampirism).

As Act one closes he is too deep into the being the good person to drop the act now. Halsin is with him and he would annihilate Astarion if he ever found out how much he actually loathes the tiefling party. No, he is in this now, he has to carry on.

Entering the Shadow Curse and meeting Jaheira he remembers his own hero: Drizzt do'Urden and, now expecting more great things from himself and having to live up to the expectations of others, he tries to become Drizzt. His most asked question to himself is: wwdd - what would Drizzt do? It becomes his compass for decision making.

Gale finds himself in love with Astarion and Astarion is very pleased about that, a bit of genuine softness feels nice and also, hello, there's delicious hunger for power hiding under these purple robes amongst other things.

Now we come to the core problem this version of Astarion has: His heroism is an act, a mask. He has picked it up so quickly he never had the chance to be terrible and start to heal. He is as full of fear as he was at the beginning of the game and desperate for protection. He's reaching for every straw that will give him an advantage not caring for himself in a healthy way. He's ready to make sacrifices. He bit Araj.

He encourages Gale to go for the crown. He even toyed with the tadpole's power. Not ready yet to give up his beauty and become half-illithid but maybe after the spawn attack he panics so much he'll consume it. (I wonder if Cazador reacts to that, seeing his spawn like that, his beauty ruined) What a powerful protection against being sexually abused again. Gale will still love him, no matter his appearance.

And most likely he will ascend and pretend it didn't affect him. He needs to keep the mask up, can't risk to fail against the Absolute and reveal the weak spawn he (thinks) he really is underneath it. He needs the praise to keep coming, he needs to protect himself and his lover and Gale needs to protect him. So ... god Gale is also very much possible.

I am now entering Act 3 and will keep this updated because it is an unusual but very fascinating path to me. Astarion, glowing on the outside, the hero of Baldur's Gate, the good vampire, the one people trust - but on the inside he's more rotten than ever, more afraid than ever. The only real thing about him is his relationship with Gale, he genuinely loves him, which sadly makes it worse for both of them.

Note that I do feel bad for him, but am too intrigued to stop.

Here he is, drizzting his way through my game. Nailing the hero pose, just as he nailed the smile when he lured a target:

[bananasfosterparent]

Update on my current runs!

Silkina the Bard Waveservant -

She got the Volo eye (not pictured) and has been helping her friends while looking for a cure. This is my first "good" solo run, so it's a lot of content, more than I'm used to! Definitely going slower than my usual, but still a lot of fun! Also never realized how funny Karlach is lmao. Just getting to the goblin fight so we'll see how it goes! Very excited to get Wyll's party scene!! Silkina is sassy, but kind and really an outlier among other waveservants because of it. Well, she's really good at connecting with others at least. Despite it being odd, since most Waveservants (especially clerics) are quite standoffish and introverted, Silkina focuses on making her outgoing nature work for her, sharing the might and fury of Umberlee with her words (and music).

Also.. after getting the Volo eye and almost everyone disapproving, I noticed Wyll didn't.. but he didn't have a ! either. I had her talk to him anyway and he was like "Welcome to the one eye club! A woman with one eye is very intriguing c:" and I giggled.

Efeniti (Spawn Astarion ending AU run) -

In the exact same place it's been for a few weeks lmao I have not touched this playthrough. I AM SCHTALLING. I know what you're thinking... because I'm an AA fan... but really, I just can't emotionally handle the break down scene after he brutally stabs Cazedor. Or the brutal stabbing. I am really not ready for that. I have my own feelings for why and what it makes me experience, but maybe if I actually go through with it this time, I can talk about it (it's not that bad, I'm just procrastinating).

This version of Efenity is who she would be if she hadn't lost the woman who was like a mother to her. If she had been able to have a somewhat normal life and become a private magic teacher in the upper part of the city. She's much kinder and able to temper herself much better.

Efenity (Canon AA romance run #whatever) -

This is idk like the 5th time I've played as Efenity. I've lost count 🤷🏽‍♀️ Most of these runs, I only got to Act 3 and only 2 I've gotten to the final fight and couldn't win it after trying over and over. This time I plan to finish it!!! I want my epilogue, dang it! I killed Minthara this time, at the party. There was a leftover from EA with a voiced Tav scene. If you killed Minty and the goblins at the party, that night or morning after(?) there's some conversation and Tav says something in the cut scene! ANYWAY... I tried it and it didn't happen 😭😭😭 I either did it wrong (I attacked before Minty had her murder cutscene) OR they patched it out of the game! I could go back and try it again, but I barely won that fight and it took me SO many tries (mostly due to needing to long rest).

But! Regardless! Even though I didn't get that cool voiced Tav scene... I have added Efenity killing Minthara and the goblins at the party to her canon story. Because it just makes sense that she'd do that. Originally, she just uses her to get to Moonrise but I scrapped that. While Efenity just sees the tieflings as collateral damage, she knows Shadowheart was struggling with that whole ordeal which did bother her... she cares for SH and she is her first real friend. And with Minthara insulting her for not wanting to sleep with her, on top of it...

Efenity was like OKAY. Time for you to go, ma'am.

Solenia Omraebra, the Drow Cleric -

I've only had her for about a week and I love her. She's also been through at least 6 different hairstyles 😭 Solenia is my newest Tav, a Drow and cleric of Eilistraee! She's very studious and scholarly. I don't know much about her beyond that yet. Still working on her backstory and whatnot, BUT she is good to a fault. She wants to save everyone, in every way that she possibly can. Even those she probably shouldn't get close enough to, to try to save. Even those she is told are irredeemable. She's romancing Gale! She's just getting through Act 1 stuff and almost to the goblin camp!

[salemcantupdate]

So this is my updated shipping and favorites perspective, given my prior one I no longer agree with.

First things first, I believe in big polycule ship, everyone is together and dating. (Sobs in that’s not the case).

But! My favorite ships that isn’t just massive polycule (preface I am a multishipper):

Gale and Astarion, aka, Bloodweave. Listen, it’s all big now, we all know about it. Opposites but the same, walking the same path, they can make each other so much worse or so much better. Hubris vs self preservation, both essentially having the possibility to become a god. Both have been beaten down and belittled by beings far more powerful than them, one knowing the abuse and the other not. Also the manipulative hatefuck to love would be incredible.

Lae’zel and Shadowheart, aka Silverheart. Classic enemies to rivals to lovers. Both have been mislead and brainwashed by evil female goddesses that demanded total obedience, that both people completely dedicated themselves to until they realized everything they knew was a lie. Whats more romantic than fighting and getting bloody and then fighting over who tops?

Wyll and Karlach, (I don’t know their ship name, may I suggest Devilbound?) is one that I’m still kinda iffy about honestly. I’m not sure if I can see them as explicitly dating, but I can see them being best buddies who fuck sometimes. I can see them making a deal like “If neither of us are married in a decade let’s just marry each other.” Like they aren’t actively in love or awed by each other but there is deep respect and they would fight and die for each other. And I also headcanon that if you romance Karlach and then go to Avernus with her, Wyll HAS to join and it’s gone be a weird little polycule thing I don’t CARE.

So, another thing. I really really like a threesome of Karlach, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart. The Ladies. But like, Lae’zel and Shadowheart both immediately love Karlach. Lae’zel being like “You WILL respect her” and Shadowheart like “She could carry me to safety.” Are they not blatantly simping??? Like I think they would hatefuck and then stare at Karlach and be like “We need her too.” Two scary women and then the golden retriever girlfriend.

Wyll and Astarion isn’t one that really calls to me, though I get the appeal. Monster and monster hunter, Wyll being the hero that Astarion always dreamed of saving him so long ago. So on and so forth. I just prefer a Redeemed Durge playing that role for Astarion?? But I definitely get the appeal.

Wyll and Gale, I haven’t seen anything for. I don’t know if anyone ships them. But listen, these two would try and one up each other in wowing and wooing the other, Gale with the weave and Wyll with the stories of old. Imagine Wyll trying to get old and out-of-shape Gale to dance in his physical body. They are both 100% into worshipping their partner, so them worshipping each other would just be so cute to me.

Now, this one really surprised me. But I really like Karlach and Astarion??? Like, cause, OK. If you romance Astarion as Karlach, you can’t actually have sex with him in his first romance scene cause it’ll burn him. This causes Astarion to panic, immediately forced him out of his comfort zone, and also ensures a route in which you never have to have sex with Astarion??? Which I know I wish I could do in a normal route! So lowkey adore those two. Also, they’re literally black cat and golden retriever??? Someone who literally went through Hell and lost all bodily autonomy for so long but still laughs and smiles and has so much hope compared to someone who was beaten to hopelessness. It’s cute! But I also ship this in specifically the asexual way. They kiss and cuddle and bump heads and are adorable, but I can’t really see them having sex. That’s just me though haha.

Durge and Gortash obviously fucked and were so in love with each other in such a horrible twisted way. If Gortash ordered it, Durge would stay their hand. Durge prayed for forgiveness, begged for it, promised, swore, vowed that he would still kill everyone, kill all. But he was in love, he was obsessed, and Gortash may have been able to pull Durge from Bhaal’s grasp, only for Gortash himself to fall to the depths of depravity. I need more fucked up fics for these, with all the gore dirt and blood. I want it to be like the movie Hellraiser.

Durge and Astarion is by far my favorite for “canon” routes. It’s just, Astarion doesn’t feel like he’s a damsel in distress being saved, he doesn’t want that. He wants to be your equal, he wants to help you, and as Durge you are able to save each other from the hunger, from the urge, from the “monster”, from the Father. Both were created to be a tool, to be used, for a singular purpose to serve. And both break free, and then have the choice. Shall they become what they were made to be? What they are destined to be? Or take a shit on destiny and be truly happy?

Now for bear-daddy Halsin. He’s more difficult, as his story isn’t fully explored in the plot of the game and he was mostly added as a proper companion because he was so popular. Which I’m extremely happy about cause I fucking love him. But! Due to this, it’s hard for me to ship him with anyone. I’ve seen some people argue for Kagha or Rath, but I personally disagree. I do like Astarion and him, or a poly with him, Astarion, and Redeemed Durge. Fighting the “beast within” and all that, Halsin in the more metaphorical sense. BUT, let me offer something up as an idea, a concept if you will. Gale and Halsin. NOW, now, let me explain. This isn’t JUST them being my two favorite romance options and me being sad I can’t be with them both. But! Both were young men suddenly thrust upon with a massive amount of responsibility and faith put in them; Halsin becoming a commander and archdruid as an apprentice during the war against Ketheric, Gale with being chosen by Mystra, taught by her, and then becoming her romantic partner. A literal goddess. And I’m one of the people who headcanon that their interactions started when Gale was a teenager. Gale both believes he is the best and deserves to die, Halsin has never once believed in his ability to lead. Also Halsin explicitly notes he will miss the library at the grove, and GUESS WHAT GALE HAS? A library. But like, imagine Gale making a magic teleportation circle thing that goes from his tower to the middle of the forest with a little cabin that Halsin lives in and they can easily travel and visit each other and fbskfhwkfjw. Also, both of them having weird sex scenes (that I absolutely adore). Gale with astral projection and Halsin with bear. I bet Gale is one of the few companions who’d be like “Oh you’re a bear? Chill, not the weirdest sexual experience I’ve had.” Halsin would also smile and nod along and sip tea and Gale goes on his long long rant and then— gah it could be so cute. Cottagecore meets academia. I’m gonna call their ship name CottageAcademia. I will take criticism on that name. I’m dumb.

Speaking of, if I failed to mention, Halsin and Gale are my absolute favorite romance options. Gale makes me giddy every single play through and I break my heart every time I have to say no to him for a different romance (like Astarion). He’s just… I find him so charming and cute and I love him and I GAJDHAKSHQK.

Anyways, npc involved ships. (Also I can’t say anything about Minthara cause I literally don’t know her, never played evil route)

Karlach and Dammon is cute, but, eh? I don’t get much from it personally. I think Karlach and Alfira would be cuter.

A fucked up ship that I like is Astarion and Raphael. It… yes, I know, it’s terrible, it’s abusive. But it’s juicy, it’s delicious, the best of the poisoned apples. There’s a fic on AO3 that’s just fantastic even though it’s only got two chapters so far, it’s called Palmarosa by thespectaclesofthor

… The Emperor and Gale. LISTEEENNN, it’s just, Gale is the only one ok with mindflayer Tav. And like, Emperor is smart. It’d be funny. Come on.

Another fun fucked up ship that I haven’t seen much of, Minthara and Orin the Red. It’s bad, it’s terrible, it’s so fucked up, but I like it.

Barcus and Wulbren, no, I don’t think it’s healthy. But Barcus clearly loves Wulbren so damned much and I just want the poor stupid gnome to be happy godsdammit all.

Apikusis and Kagha. So, I don’t know if anyone else has spoken to the Druid Apikusis, but she is one of the few druids who is desperately against the rite. And when I spoke to her after, she said she saw the old Kagha in the woman, was desperate that what she saw was true. What if they were girlfriends? Then Kagha fell to the shadow druids, and now that they’re back they can fall back into love? I just see so much possibility in them!

Olly and Rugan got down and dirty after barely surviving the gnolls and I’ll put money on that.

Omeluum and Blurg, they just seem like science husbands. They’re married and I refuse to take criticism on this.

That’s all I can really think of, but for characters I’m just absolutely obsessed with: He Who Was and Abdirak are my favorite npc’s. Gale and Halsin are my favorite companions.

Now, my personal opinion on class/race Tav/Durge romance for each character.

Shadowheart: Selune Cleric for obvious reasons, race I don’t think super matters. But I do like Durge, connect on amnesia. Just figure out how cleric and a Durge works haha.

Lae’zel: Githyanki who defected from the gith and has been living peacefully in hiding until recently (so a class that gives peaceful options) Tav

Astarion: Redeemed Durge, any race any class. I’m personally doing a Drow Spore Druid. But a paladin or cleric could also be super cute.

Gale: Wild Sorcerer / Bard, and I personally prefer gnome? But any race is still fine. Also Tav or Durge work fine to me, he’s gonna be a big simp. Though, I do personally like the idea of you becoming the mindflayer in this route. He would use magic to disguise you and it’d be cute

Wyll: Tiefling Bard… I know it’s the first that’s so specific but come on. He becomes a devil, he loves stories of old, y’all dance together. I think it’s cute. I also prefer Tav here, I just can’t see a circumstance where he looks past the murder of Alfira to romance a Durge.

Karlach: Honestly she’s the one I’m least sure over, other than I like being smaller for her. I also like the idea of a paladin / bard for her?

Halsin: Literally anyone and anything as long as you’re down to fuck a bear.

These are all just my own opinion, added it cause I know sometimes I wanna see what other people think is the best “romance route” for a character.

But that’s the closing! These perspectives might change again, but for now this is my thoughts on everything shipping and romance related (that isn’t explicitly canon).

[transquad]

Illithid Tav — romance epilogues

EDIT: This has only partially been updated with the Patch 5 party stuff and has nothing from any patch after that, I'll get around to it ... Someday

I am obsessed with the concept of a protagonist sacrificing their humanity for the greater good. That's why the free Orpheus + illithid player ending made me so fucking happy, up until Astarion decided to dump my ass in the last five seconds of the game, because he can't handle a few tentacles or whatever. It made me realize that as much as I like him, I really don't like his romance. It's just so much giving and so little receiving. I think my character deserves someone who can actually offer him a little love and support and reassurance every once in a while. Including (especially!) after he transforms into a squid man.

So I wanted to go into my second playthrough knowing which of these sluts would still love me if I was a worm.

Unfortunately I have not been able to actually find many variants of these scenes on Youtube. But from what I could find, this is how the epilogue scenes with romanced companions play out if the player character becomes a mind flayer:

• Astarion dumps you. Good Astarion says he is open to the idea of getting back together someday but he needs a break to process things. (Exactly what's going on in his head here is anyone's guess.) Evil Astarion thinks you're icky now and only wants you as a powerful ally.

PATCH 5 EDIT: Despite having six months to come to his senses, at the party Good Astarion seems pretty disinterested in getting back together with Tavflayer, something I'm never going to forgive him for.

• (Crownless) Gale fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. He asks you to marry him. He even says he will find a caterer who does brains for your wedding. It's incredibly sweet.

• Halsin fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. You are invited to his anprim commune with the caveat that he will need to introduce you to his followers carefully, for both your safety and their mental health.

• (Good) Shadowheart fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. She wants to take some time to go on a quest to find herself / spend time with her parents, but you're welcome to go with her in disguise.

• Wyll certainly acts like he accepts you, but he basically makes you his secret attic wife in the name of protecting you, which is pretty fucked up, dude. Halsin & Shadowheart are also very concerned about your safety and have the same impulse to hide you away, but it's easy enough to convince them that you'll be fine. Not Wyll, apparently. (What the hell, man?)

EDIT: If you don't get this dialogue because one or both of you go to Avernus with Karlach, then he is normal about everything at the party.

• I don't think Karlach gets a normal epilogue scene if she isn't a mind flayer. No clue what changes in the dialogue that she does have if you're the mind flayer.

• I don't think Lae'zel gets a normal epilogue scene if she returns to the Astral plane, which I believe she always does if you're a mind flayer. Yeah, she dumps you even after you sacrifice yourself for Orpheus. Sad! However. I saw someone say in a Youtube comment that if you are (were) also githyanki then you can go with her, even if you're a mind flayer now. So if that's accurate, I guess that's the exception?

• EDIT: Good news! Minthara is also a squid fucker.

Glaringly, none of these scenes acknowledge that Disguise Self is a spell that exists, and it's unclear how different they would be if they did.

If you know something I don't know, especially if you have proof in screenshots or videos, please let me know so I can update these notes. I have become very invested in finding out which of these clowns are squid fuckers.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Path Forward

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 3,627

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

Previous Next

Summary: The party makes their way back into the Underdark, discouraged and down on their luck after their time at the Creche. Now, they have to decide how they can move forward and find a new lead to cure their tadpoles. Part 8 of the slow burn fic. Halsin and Tav POVs

Tags: Slow burn, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, light angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries.

A/N: Sorry for the wait between updates here! Life got a bit hectic for a couple of weeks. I ended up needing to split the Underdark chapters up so they wouldn't get too long. The next one should be a much shorter wait :) Thanks for continuing to read!!

Tav led her dejected group of adventurers back through the wilderness, making their way down to the Underdark again. While she was still unconscious, the others had found another entrance to the Underdark in the Zhentarim hideout. Given that it was a little closer, they opted to go this way rather than march all the way back to the goblin camp.

Last night, just as everyone was beginning to turn in for the evening, an unexpected visitor had shown up at their camp. Kith’rak Voss, knight supreme, and a fellow traitor in Vlaakith’s eyes. He came to recruit Lae’zel to his cause, to overthrow Vlaakith’s unrightful rule. Apparently, the prism they carried held the key to her demise. He explained that the purification process githyanki boasted about was nothing but a bold-faced lie. The zaith’isk does not extract, it only kills. They had promised to meet him in Baldur’s Gate, should they survive that long. Lae’zel had been strangely quiet about the ordeal, likely still coming to terms with the fact she wasn’t welcome with the majority of her kin. So now, not only were they still hosting mind flayer parasites, but they had been branded enemies of Vlaakith herself, doomed to be hunted across the Sword Coast by her faithful. Fighting their way out of the Creche was difficult enough, she wasn’t looking forward to the lich queen sending her best warriors to pursue them.

Tav’s disappointment was plain to see in her slumped shoulders and shuffling footsteps. The past two days were a detour they could scarcely afford, and she was the one who pushed them in that direction. Even Karlach seemed subdued, merely chuckling at any half-assed quips Astarion let out rather than her normal cackle. He was the only one who was relatively content with keeping his tadpole, allowing him to walk in the sun a little while longer.

Halsin jogged his way up to her at the front of the group. He slowed his pace to walk alongside her.

“I can’t help but notice you’re looking a tad displeased.” He said.

“I think I’ve earned the right to feel a little upset right now, Halsin.” Tav knew he meant well, she just didn’t have the energy to joke right now.

“Of course, I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.” His voice lowered a bit, sending a stab of guilt into Tav’s gut. She let out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do next. They followed me to the Creche, which was a dead end. Almost literally.” She remembered their bruised and battered bodies stumbling into camp last night. Her shoulder still ached slightly from falling off of a ladder during one of the fights.

“I know. I can see the uncertainty in your eyes. You think you’ve wasted precious time following false hopes. I can’t imagine my sulking helped with that guilt.” He looked away from her for a moment.

“First and foremost, your priority has been to remove the tadpoles lodged in your heads. You had no way of knowing where Lae’zel’s hunch would lead, at the time it seemed like the most rational path. And you are not the only one here who chose that path.”

“That’s kind of you to say.” Tav responded, her eyes still stuck on the dirt road in front of her.

“I know something of doubting your choices as a leader, my friend. As I told you, I’m here to lend my counsel whenever needed. I’ve met many people who have claimed to be leaders in my life, few have had the heart and compassion that you do. It’s obvious how you care for those in your company, you make decisions with great respect and consideration.” He kept his voice low so only they could hear.

She stayed silent for a while longer, thinking on his words. When their group had decided to band together, she hadn’t exactly meant to be their leader. At some point everyone just started to defer to her for all major decisions.

“I know that this is quite the setback, but please do not doubt yourself so heavily, Tav. Everyone trusts you a great deal – myself included. I doubt that anyone here is a stranger to disappointment and defeat. Except perhaps Shadowheart, but that is only because she is missing so many of her memories.” His last quip did make her chuckle a little.

“I am confident that you will all recover swiftly.”

“What makes you so sure?” She asked, finally looking up at him.

“Because you have no other choice, I’m afraid.” He had a sad smile on his face. They continued walking together, Halsin had grabbed one of her packs from her injured shoulder to carry. Lunari trotted around them, every now and then bumping her head into their legs to get them to pet her.

“I truly am sorry that you weren’t able to be cured of the tadpole yet.” Halsin broke their silence. “But if it is any consolation, I am grateful to have a few more days in your company.” He briefly rested a hand on her shoulder as they walked.

“As am I.” She replied. “Except…you know…about you.” A familiar warmth covered her cheeks at her awkward rambling.

Come on, Tav. I thought we were past this now.

As they approached Waukeen’s Rest, she let some of the others take the lead. They took her and Halsin down through the hideout, the smell of ash and decaying bodies filled her nose. As she looked over the ledge just inside the secret entrance, she saw that almost everything, and everyone, had been burnt to a crisp

“What in the hells did you guys do here?” Tav asked, covering her nose with the back of her hand.

“What? Like it’s our fault that they had the entire area laced with explosives? Karlach is literally a walking flame, darling. Accidents happen.” Astarion waved his hand dismissively.

“Hey now, Karlach didn’t touch the explosives at all. Gale was the one with speedy spell fingers.” Karlach had run up to join them.

“To be fair,” Gale started, pointing one index finger up in the air, “the fire bolt wasn’t aimed at the explosives, it was aimed at one of the Zhentarim. Who caught on fire. And then wandered too close to an oil barrel.” The little bout of banter brought a smile to Tav’s face. She was relieved to see they hadn’t completely lost their sense of humor.

Towards the back of the hideout, there was a concealed elevator of sorts. It looked old, Tav was skeptical about all of them piling onto this at the same time.

“I think we should probably go in groups. This seems a little…dated.”  She gulped as she inspected the ropes and pulleys attached to the platform. Everything at least seemed in good working order.

“Who wants to go first?” She asked.

“After you, darling.” Astarion teased.

“I uh, I can wait for the second group.” Tav said quickly as she took a step away from the platform.

Everyone looked at her curiously. Astarion and Karlach started to giggle a little bit.

“Are you…are you afraid of heights?” Astarion pointed an accusing finger at her.

“I’m not afraid! I have a healthy skepticism of old wooden machinery that happens to dangle a mile above the ground.” She could feel her cheeks getting warm at the teasing.

“I’m sorry, you can slaughter a camp of goblins, a hag, an entire Creche filled with githyanki warriors, and a fully grown owlbear. But you draw the line at a little elevator ride?” Astarion was laughing harder now.

“Well, if you’re so confident why don’t you hop on?” Tav shot back.

“Fine if it’ll help you get over your fears.” He waved his hand in the air again and strode over to the platform, jumping on it lightly to show how sturdy it was.

“See? Nothing to be worried about.” He crossed his arms and stared her down.

She flared her nostrils at him and pressed her lips into a hard line. With everyone staring at her, she took a few tentative steps toward the wooden platform. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. The first step she took onto the elevator caused it to wobble slightly and she recoiled away from it, slamming into Halsin behind her. He smiled down at her and stepped to the side to walk onto the platform next to Astarion. He turned around and held his arm out to her. Tav quickly dug a scroll of Feather Fall out of her pack and held it against her chest...just in case. She nervously reached out with her other hand to grab Halsin’s arm and pulled herself tight against him. Wyll walked on behind her as well and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Lunari trotted over to lay down at her feet, giving a soft whine. Tav continued clinging to Halsin as the winch began to turn and slowly lower them back into the Underdark.

***

Halsin was grateful for the lower light to hide his blush and grin. Tav was breathing heavily and grasping the Feather Fall scroll in one hand, turning her knuckles white. She had her face buried in his shoulder and both of her arms wrapped around his arm tightly. Her free hand had his in an iron grip, digging her nails into his knuckles. She must have been terrified based on the fact she didn’t seem to be blushing or embarrassed as she held onto him like her life depended on it.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t call you our ‘fearless’ leader anymore.” Astarion giggled.

“Fuck off.” Tav’s voice was muffled by Halsin’s shoulder.

Tav let out another shaky breath as the platform swayed in an unnerving manner. He watched as they slowly descended through the ground, the environment around them gradually shifting to the strange flora of the Underdark. After a long ride, he could finally start to make out the ground beneath them. The glowing crystals and mushrooms lit the area below, giving them just a little more light to see by.

“We’re almost there, Tav. I can see the ground now.” He whispered as he briefly placed his other hand on one of her arms. She nodded against him in response, still maintaining her death grip.

“You know, Tav, you really are missing a splendid view.” Astarion mocked from the other side of him. “Just open your eyes, face your fe–”

Halsin cut Astarion off with a small nudge, just enough to make him think that he could go tumbling over the edge of the elevator. Of course he wouldn’t let that happen, he had a hold of the back of his shirt. The small squeal that escaped Astarion’s throat was worth it though. Wyll was stifling a laugh on the other side of Tav.

“How clumsy of me.” Halsin said with a smirk. Astarion glared at him over his shoulder.

“Oh gods…why are we shaking?” Tav somehow managed to squeeze him even tighter, causing him to grunt in pain.

Worth it.

After a few more minutes, the elevator hit the ground below. Tav remained stuck to his side even after they stopped moving.

“Tav? We made it.” Halsin urged her gently. She slowly rotated her head to peek at their new surroundings, releasing a relieved sigh when she saw they were once again on solid ground. Right on cue, she realized she was still clinging to Halsin’s arm and jumped to the side like he had shocked her; her cheeks turned that endearing shade of pink.

“Oh! Ha, thanks.” She laughed awkwardly and looked down at his hand spotting the small nail marks she left there. “Oh shit…I’m sorry about that.”

“Nothing to worry about, you didn’t even draw blood. I’m sure the marks will fade within the hour.” He smiled at her reassuringly, trying and failing to keep his mind from wandering. He found himself imagining the marks lined up and down his body.

No, stop it. Get ahold of yourself, Halsin.

He shook his head to force himself back to his current conversation. Astarion had a smug grin stretched across his face.

“Yes, no worries, Tav. I’m sure he’s used to the feel of your nails digging into him, what with your recent late-night excursions and all.” He teased, batting his eyelashes as his eyes shifted between her and Halsin.

His breath caught in his throat and Tav’s eyes went wide, her skin now turning a shade that matched Karlach’s. Wyll looked between all three of them, obviously confused and scared to ask for clarification. The elevator behind them started the ascent back up to the Zhentarim hideout.

“No that’s…it’s not what…we haven’t even…I don’t…” Tav was sputtering nonsensically. “Argh! You are so annoying, you know that?” She yelled at him as she stormed off in a huff.

Halsin thought she’d scour the entire Underdark easily at the pace she was setting. But a strange voice called out to them, stopping her in her tracks.

***

“They are coming.” The voice calling out to Tav in her mind was gruff, yet somehow melodic and charming as well.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one hearing that voice.” She said quietly.

“No, no I heard it too.” Halsin sounded concerned.

Wait…Halsin?

“You can hear it?” Tav asked, shocked. She assumed it was something to do with the tadpole. Wyll and Astarion must have shared her theory because they whipped around to stare at him as well.

“More are coming. You are coming.” The strange voice glided out of her thoughts.

“What the fuck.” She mumbled under her breath.

“Please tell me we aren’t going to look for the source of that voice.” Astarion pleaded.

“Something tells me we won’t have much of a choice.” She sighed. “We’ll wait for the others before moving on just in case.”

Astarion dramatically threw himself onto a pile of crates.

“For fucks’ sake…” Tav muttered. “Here, you big baby.” She reached into her pack and fished out a couple of lockpicks and some tools for disarming traps.

“Why don’t you keep busy and start looking through some of these chests, huh? That one looks expensive.” She held the small tools out in her palm, trying to entice him out of his tantrum. He looked up and gave her a brooding look. “You can keep the gold you find.” She pumped her eyebrows up and down a couple of times.

“You have to ask nicely.” He pouted. She flared her nostrils at him and fought off an eye roll.

“Oh, Astarion…your hands are so slight and nimble. Your fingers dance around locks like silvery rays of the purest moonlight. None of us could compare with that level of finesse.” She said the words in the most monotone way possible, gesturing her hands lazily at the chests and boxes around them.

“And…?”

“You are such…an…” She gritted her teeth, not wanting to finish.

“Say it.” Astarion coaxed.

“Inspiration.” She growled.

“Oh, stop it, darling. You’re embarrassing yourself.” He slid over to her and snatched the tools out of her hand before running off with a giggle.

Whatever, it’s better than him sulking until the others arrive.

Tav and Wyll went through some of the unlocked crates to look for any supplies. Halsin seemed distracted as he took in the Underdark surroundings, he had a distant look on his face that worried her.

“Halsin? You okay?” She asked quietly as he blankly stared over the Underdark landscape ahead of them.

“Hm? Oh, of course. My eyes are still just adjusting to the darkness here.” He smiled lightly, but there was a nervous undertone to his voice. Before she could press the matter further, Karlach’s voice called out to her.

“Hey, soldier! You made it down in one piece. No big deal, right?” Her giant smile shone easily through the darkness.

“Outside of clawing Halsin’s arm to shreds? Yeah, no big deal.” She rolled her eyes slightly. “Listen, we have a situation.” Tav explained the voice they heard.

“More voices? My mind is full enough of those as is.” Gale complained.

“I have a feeling we need to go towards it. When it entered my mind, it felt…scared. Like it was a cry for help.”

“The last time you had a feeling, we ended up fighting dozens of githyanki warriors for our life. Besides, we can hardly afford another detour.” Astarion had come back over to join the group and draped an arm over Gale’s shoulder. He was wearing noticeably more jewelry than before, a golden chain adorned with tiny sapphires dangled from his hand.

His words caused Tav to withdraw slightly, her earlier guilt returning tenfold. She looked around the group of tired faces, suddenly feeling paralyzed. What if she made the wrong decision again, delaying them further? Her eyes fell on Halsin who gave her a reassuring nod.

“And what if the help they need is related to the Absolute?” She finally said. “What if they can help us find our way to Moonrise? We have no idea where this secret stronghold is.”

“Which is why we should have just taken the route from the Mountain Pass. We have to deal with the shadow cursed lands eventually, we might as well just get it over with.” Wyll countered. He had suggested the route before – he was anxious to find his father.

“Perhaps, but the area just past the Mountain Pass is heavy with the curse. I fear if we went that way we would not long survive before the shadows would overtake us.” Halsin spoke up.

“Halsin’s right, the shadows there are a wicked, terrible presence. Some types of light will protect us for a short time, but it won’t be enough. We’ll be lucky if we can make it to Moonrise Towers before it consumes us.” Tav shuddered at the thought.

“No…we need to find out how the cultists are able to traverse the land safely. If we can find this secret passage, we’ll likely find out how they’ve made it that far.” She insisted.

“How bad could it be? We’ve got Shadowheart to cast some handy light spells, we can scrounge up some torches, not to mention that nifty glowing mace we found. So long as we stick together, I’m sure we’ll be fine!” Karlach’s peppy tone did little to calm the anxiety gripping Tav.

“Well spoken, Karlach. I agree, we haven’t gone too far yet…” Wyll continued talking, but Tav couldn’t listen anymore.

The darkness around her swirled like smoke, choking her, trying to bring back memories of those cursed shadows. She forced them down, refusing to let them overtake her now. They didn’t understand, how could they? There was no way to explain to them the horrific magic that awaited them at Moonrise. Her vision swam, her chest burned with anxiety and dread. She felt the phantom claws of shadows and wraiths reaching for her arms, struggling to pull her into the wicked darkness around her, beckoning her to follow.

“No!” She bellowed, startling everyone as they whipped around to face her again. “I’m not spending any longer in that cursed land than I have to. None of you understand, you weren’t there!”

Involuntary tears started streaming down her face, dripping off of her chin and soaking the collar of her shirt. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and squeezed her eyes shut to try and force her tears to stop. It didn’t help, she continued to sniffle as dark memories tried to drag her down into their abyss. Her knees buckled, and she fell to the ground, still tightly clutching her own chest.

“You weren’t there…” She whispered between sobs.

The others simply stared at her in stunned silence. She hung her head and tried to gain some semblance of composure.

“If you won’t follow me on this path, feel free to go back on your own. I’ll continue through the Underdark alone if I must. Perhaps we’ll be able to meet again at Moonrise.” She barely choked the words out. “Just don’t ask me to go back there yet. I can’t. Not until I know that I can protect us.” It hurt her to offer the ultimatum, she was really starting to consider them friends. She couldn't stand the thought of them facing the curse without her guiding them, but she couldn't go yet. She knew exactly what was waiting for them and she was terrified of going back. No, she needed more time to prepare.

Everyone exchanged uneasy glances with one another but said nothing. Tav slowly stood up and turned away from them, ready to continue on by herself. A large hand gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She glanced over her shoulder to see Halsin standing behind her.

“You won’t be alone, Tav.” He assured her. She turned around to face him as the others walked up to stand with them as well.

“Of course you won’t be. We’re with you, soldier.” Karlach added. “If you say this is the way, I’ll follow you.”

The rest of the party walked up behind her, all nodding and murmuring their agreement. They would stay and follow her, hopefully to find a way through the shadows.

“Lead on, friend.” Wyll patted her shoulder.

Tav nodded and took a shaky breath. She knew that their path was leading back to Moonrise Towers, it was unavoidable now. But she at least had a few more days to prepare for it. As she moved to start leading them further into the Underdark, Halsin’s hand briefly passed over hers, his fingers lingering against hers for just a moment longer than expected.

[absolutefreak69]

Love Bites, Chapter 1: Ground Control

When Xalor wakes on the beach after the nautaloid crash with nothing but his name, a headache, and a pretty bad case of the the blood munchies, and murder fantasies, he suspects that even disregarding his newly implanted parasite that he might not be exactly normal. Turns out he's in good company, anyways because joining him are the following idots: A mansplaning Rizzard who won't shut up about his love affair with a goddess, a ferocious gith warrior who wants to chase the dragon or whatever, the surely Cleric who is kinda into losers, the chronically underpaid and overworked momma Karlach who really should have workers comp, a sweet but also kinda spicy human who gets horny (cough)a huge druid woodelf who kinda wants to fuck as a bear, a surely drow lady who's evil but only because she cares, and last but never least, one traumatized, bitchy, vampire spawn who could really use justice against his long time tormentor as well as a good tan....

I'm updating this Fic on Tumbler slowly but surely. If you want to read the most up to date chapters, you can also find my on Archive of Our own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58624549/chapters/149370142

Happy Reading, freaks!

Xalor feels his feet leave the floor as the strange ship lurches violently beneath his feet. He grips the black tentacles he’s just put back together as his body hurtles towards the ceiling. He hears the cries of shock as the Gith and the cleric still behind him are likely finding them in a similar predicament. “Fuck!” He screams as the screeches of dragons outside and the rumbles and bellows of the failing ship assault his eardrums. Well, he tried, but thanks to those dragons, it seems everyone on this ship is going to die. A strange sense of joy fills him at the thought of all the people who would perish screaming, not only here on the ship, but perhaps even on the land below them. He grits his teeth against the smile spreading over his face. Hells, he’s not ready to be one of those aforementioned casualties. His hands slip from the slimy tendrils and he finds himself hurtling backwards towards the wall behind him. He feels a jolt of pain arc through his entire body as his back makes impact against one of the many fleshy surfaces. But this, it seems, is the least of his problems as he seems to have narrowly avoided the shattered hull of the ship and feels himself being sucked into the howling void outside. He looks up, dazed to find the hateful violet eyes of a mind flayer glaring at him across the gap. Then something solid comes flying out of the chaos around them and collides with his head. His vision goes black and when he comes vaguely back into consciousness, he’s no longer in the ship. He’s falling, falling as dragons hurtle by with Giths riding astride and as debris from the disintegrating ship continues to make their own small attempts on his life. At this point he would welcome another whack to the head instead of waiting helplessly until the inevitable splatter and crunch onto the earth below. A larger piece of debris is falling next to him and he reaches out mindlessly to grab onto it, realizing it’s one of the pods, like the one he woke up in. Inside very frightened looking elfin man thrashes against his bindings and pounds his fists on the glass. A pair of wide blood-red eyes meet Xalor’s for a moment before a burst of searing flame lances down beside them and he panics, releasing the pod and his occupant. Too bad, he thinks beyond the terror and the dark exhilaration racing through his body, as he continues to fall and the shapes of trees and houses along a river grow larger. I think it would have been nice not to die alone. He closes his eyes as death rushes up to meet him.

He coughs and wretches on his hands and knees when he awakes in the sand to the acrid smell of smoke mixed with the disturbingly pleasant aroma of cooked meat. He spits blood from his mouth from a split lip and winces as he forces his aching joints to stand. As he stumbles away from the smoke and the wreckage he wracks his brain for information, any memory or insight about who he is. There isn’t much, a yawning near empty chasm of undulating dark mist where he assumes one’s memory should be. He looks down at the dark indigo skin of his hands. He’s a drow, yes, he knows that. And there’s a name, at least: Xalor. Does he go by Xal to his friends? He wonders, between being a drow and the dark impulses he has felt thrumming in his blood since awakening, if he even has friends. Does he want friends? He sees the half-elf up ahead laying in the sand. He approaches her prone form, passing by several other charred corpses which he has to make a pointed effort to avoid stopping to admire. He kneels down beside the dark-haired woman and reaches out a hand. Perhaps if she survived, he can wrap it around that fragile neck and… he shakes his head. There is something seriously wrong with him. Perhaps he just has a particularly violent parasite in his brain. He shakes awake the cleric and she groans, before her eyelids flutter and a pair of pretty green eyes look up at him. He learns that his companion is called Shadowheart, and while she is clearly suspicious by nature, she is grateful for his help escaping her pod. They form a tentative alliance as they search the beach and the other less-than-lively occupants littered about it for supplies. As they make their way along the shore and through parts of the wreckage they dispose of a few more mind flayer pets, as they go, Xalor acting off instinct and finding out one more important tidbit of information as he releases his wolf wild shape. He’s a druid— well, that’s nice, he supposes. She continue up the shore and just beyond the smoking, broken shell of a mind flayer pod they spot an elfin man in fine clothes. Xalor narrows his eyes as they approach the man, who is in a half crouch and appears to be focused on something. It’s the high elf he’d seen in the pod during his freefall. Huh. What are the odds? They stop just short of the man and he casts a glance back at them, his red eyes speculative as he said. “You there— I’ve got one of those brain things cornered. Help me take care of it would you?”

Astarion stares in disbelief up at the blue sky above him and the unrelenting ball of deadly sunlight as it returns his gaze. He waits for the pain, for the burning and the peeling of his flesh. He’s felt it once before when his master was feeling particularly brutal. His master, even if he survives this, Cazador will be furious. He’ll be flayed or starved or buried again… but his masters voice, the sharp biting presence that forever lurks waiting to take full control over Astarion, mind and body simply isn’t there. And he isn’t burning. He reaches out a hand, convinced that the pale skin will be burning blue and peeling off his bones like onion skin but everything is intact. He holds back a choked sob as the overwhelming warmth of the sun he hasn’t seen in centuries warmed his undead skin. He rises to his feet. It doesn’t quite silence the panic and confusion raging inside him or distract him from the uncomfortable squirming behind his right eye but the warmth is still the nicest thing he can remember feeling in nearly 200 years.

He swings his head around at the sound of approaching footsteps sees a familiar man and woman, covered head to toe in blood and brain matter. His hollow stomach aches but he’s learned to ignore that. He saw them, strutting about on the ship whilst he was confined in that pod. Anger and fear war within him. Did they have something to do with his capture? He must tread carefully. He schools his features into a concerned mask of concentration as the half-elf and the drow approach. Inside, he’s still screaming. He’s been doing an awful lot of that today, even more than the usual. But he forces his panic down to a dull roar and waves at them. He points towards rustling in a nearby bush he knows to be nothing more than a boar. “Help me kill it, won’t you?” he tells them urgently. “Like you killed the others.” Because he assumes, based on the wretched smell and the brain-goo smattered clothing, that’s what they’ve been doing. The half elf crosses her arms, sceptical and apparently unimpressed by his desperate, hapless noble act. Pity. He must be off his game today. The drow, however, eyes him speculatively, as he’s unsure of Astarion’s intentions but too curious to simply walk away. Fine, thinks the vampire spawn. Curiosity he can work with. The drow’s voice is a mellow tenor as he replies, with only the lightest suggestion of a Menzoberranzan accent lacing the vowels. “Alright,” he says with a small smile that doesn’t quite meet his burgundy eyes. Something about his expression makes Astarion uneasy but he forces his face into a show of gratitude as the drow steps towards him.

“Xalor,” the woman says, her tone warning. She hangs back though. They aren’t close enough that she feels the need to keep him safe… likely a new alliance then. As the drow, Xalor, approaches, his dark eyes don’t leave Astarion’s face. “Where?” he asks softly. The high elf feels more than a little uneasy as he draws level with him. He’s slightly built and no taller than Astarion himself, but the way he moves, his expression… both scream danger. He ignores his building anxiety and leans into his ever-present rage instead. So what? He assures himself. He’s dangerous too. Astarion points towards the hill beside them. “There, in the grass. Do you see it?” Xalor’s eyes slide away from his face to where Astarion had indicated just as the boar squeals and runs out of the underbrush. Astarion lunges forward with feline speed, his dagger already in hand. But he’s hungry, not as quick as he ought to be, and the drow is fast too. Catching his dagger hand and twisting out of the way, Xalor sweeps out a leg, hooking it under Astarion’s and forcing them both to the grass. He fights viciously with the drow but his chronically starved body is failing him. His eyes widen as Xalor pins him and begins pushing the dagger, gripped by both of them, towards Astarion’s throat. His eyes are alight now, almost feverish as he grins down at Astarion and the high elf feels he really should have thought his plan through just a bit more. But then Xalor’s body goes taught above his and Astarion feels a shudder pass through it as the feral joy in the other man’s eyes passes, replaced by confusion. Astarion doesn’t wait a moment before he reaches up grabs his elongated ear and pulls hard.It’s a cheap shot, he knows, but it works, and Astarion, flips the drow onto the grass pinning him nearly on his stomach, his knife against his dark skin. Both men lay panting in the dirt for a moment. The half-elf steps towards them, hand on her mace now and Astarion snarls warningly. She stops and glares at him. “ I need him alive.” He notes the telltale glow of a readies healing spell glowing in her left palm. “Then I suggest you stay back darling or even your little healing spell won’t be enough to put this one back together… and you,” he says into the drow’s ear. “Not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” Xalor goes still and quiet but for a small sound Astarion could swear is a chocked chuckle. Mad, this one, he thinks. “Now then, I saw you on the ship, didn’t I?” He tightens his hold as anger surgers again at the thought of the mind flayer, just another monster violating his body, inserting the disgusting tadpole as he cried out in pain. His next word came out a command. “Nod.” Again, Xalor acquiesces and Astarion can smell the overwhelming aroma of the man’s blood as the small movement breaks the skin, ever so slightly. He swallows back a groan as his starved body clenches painfully but ignores the sensation as he has for centuries. “Good, now tell me what you and those tentacled freaks,” he spits out, “did to me!” The drow snorts… SNORTS… and replies. “You really think I’m in league with them? You’re pretty, fairy, but I’m afraid the gods haven’t blessed you with much in the way of brains.”

Astarion hesitates a moment, admiring the sheer level of snark the man has l, even against the edge of a knife. “Why you little—” but the sentence is cut short as an intense wriggling sensation behind his eye is followed by blinding pain. He feels the knife fall from his hand and his grip loosen but is unable to care. He’s walking through a dark room smelling of death and decay, his emotions tumbling violently beneath the surface as a sick joy spreads through him and he looks up at the well dressed human stepping over to meet him. Then the vision fades and he’s laying on his back beside the drow who seems to have been similarly effected. He rolls away, snatching his dagger and stepping back a few paces. Xalor also gets to his feet, holding his head as Shadowheart, a name he suddenly knows without ever having been told, grimaces and massages her temples behind him. He can’t quite hide the raw panic beneath his words as he asks, “what was that? What’s going on?” Even as he asks though, he knows. He’s experienced the sensation of being linked to the mind of another before— this was different but unmistakable all the same. “It’s the tadpoles,” Xalor replies in an even tone, running his long fingers through his short but thick snow-white hair. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, we were all prisoners on that ship and we’ve all received an unwelcome passenger.” He taps on his forehead. Astarion straightens and allows his lips to curve into a genial smile as he said, “ah, of course. And to think, I was ready to decorate the ground with your innards,” he gives a slightly ironic bow. “Apologies.” Shadowheart huffs as she comes up to stand next to the drow. “You threaten to open up his throat and you think a simple apology is enough to save your hide?” She crosses her arms. But Xalor holds up a hand. “No harm, elf. Besides, I was rather looking forward to seeing yours.” Astarion giggles, despite himself. “Ah ha! A kindred spirit.” He sobers. “Do either of you know what these… worms will do to us?” Other than let him walk in the sun, other than drown out his master voice. Despite the obvious blegh factor, his uninvited guest has been rather advantageous… and in Astarion’s experience, there tended to be downsides to any gift. It’s Shadowheart who answers, looking at Xalor rather than Astarion. “They’ll turn us into mind flayers. Unless we hurry and find a way to get them removed,” she says pointedly. The unhinged laughter bubbles up to the surface as Astarion absorbs what he’s just heard and he bites it back. “Of course, it’ll turn me into a monster,” he mutters. “What did I expect?” The others ignore him as Xalor says to Shadowheart, “we’d best look for supplies,” he says. “We can travel for a few hours, see if there is anyone who can point us in the direction of a healer… but we’ll need to make camp then and rest… today has been… well— it’s been a day.” She nods and they turn to leave.

“Oh don’t mind me, I’ll just go at this on my own,” Astarion calls out. That’s the last thing he wants… Although wary about present company and, well any company, he knows he needs allies to get out of this mess tentacle free and… possibly free from other things as well. Xalor stops and flashes a smile at him and this time the expression touches his eyes, causing them to sparkle and dance. The expression is quite at odds with the drow he had been in a fight to the death with just minutes ago. “I assumed you’d come if you felt it benefited you. Or did you need us to make your choices for you?” Astarion struggles to manage his expression as the words rattle him down to a place deep and filled with howling screams and twisting shadows. He settles for a bemused raise of the eyebrows and with a hand on his hip replies. “Obviously not. I think travelling with the herd might be a good idea, all thing considered… and the Gods know you two could probably use someone as capable as myself.” He examines his nails with a bored expression, not wanting to appear as though he cared overmuch. “I just want to be sure there are no hard feelings for the erm, well you know. Lest I wake with a knife against my ribs.” Shadowheart snorts, rolling her eyes, but shrugs in a manner that suggests she couldn’t care less so long as they move along. Xalor’s grin just widens and he says. “Well, come on then if your coming, elf” “My name’s Astarion,” he replies smirking. Although he’s already picked up on the pair’s names he says, “Drow.” “Xalor,” he replies easily, “and this is Shadowheart,” he says pointing to the impatient half elf. His brows furrow for a moment as if coming to a decision and adds. “Call me Xal, if you want to.”

[superhaught]

*cries in DM that just wants to play D&D in the most accessible and inclusive way possible while WotC/Hasbro work exclusively to make the game more exploitative*

I want to punch something because is having a VTT built into D&D beyond IS cool and having rendered environments and minis in a VTT is even COOLER and these are positive directions to be moving in for the game BUT MONETIZING EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF IT TO THE POINT WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO PAY A SHITLOAD OF MONEY IN ORDER TO PLAY MAKE BELIEVE WITH THEIR FRIENDS IS SUPER NOT COOL

You dicks.

You want us to own the books and minis and battlemaps and dm screens and dice both digitally and physically and you’re using our adoration of Karlach against us to get us on board with it.

You’re making cool stuff! Be normal about it!

At the absolute MOST it should be set up so that ONE person pays a flat fee for access to the VTT which should be pre-programmed with every 5th edition option. Lots of people will buy this. If you want D&D to be a video game, fine, but then let us pay to have the game and don’t charge anything more and update it with hotfixes/patches when you need to. That is why BG3 is successful you fucks.

But also, it’s supposed to be a VTT, right? So if you charge players to join the VTT when the DM/someone in the group has already bought it, I’m gonna punch you. If you charge extra for the specific species or subclasses we want, I’m gonna punch you. GoddAMMIT I’m already paying your highest subscription price just so that I can homebrew shit in D&D beyond that is already freely available OR in books that are on my goddamn bookshelf!

I’m sick of this shit.

(I may be misunderstanding parts of this or have gotten information wrong. Please politely let me know if so, I’m just angy at a soul-sucking corporation but I still love D&D and everyone who loves it. I have opinions because I’m a professional in this space pls forgive.)

And remember, capitalism is always the bad guy.

[omgkalyppso]

💙 for Étoile please! 💙

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Betrayal

Betrayal is such a fun concept to explore but is so confusing for Étoile specifically while I waffle on what I want to do about Gale and the crown.

There's been like 4 updates to the end game cutscenes (not the epilogue) and every time I expected to get a new dialogue option for Étoile when Gale says he's going to return the Crown to Mystra. Gale should know that they (everyone but especially Étoile) promised the Crown to Raphael.

Here's a longer post about the Epilogue with Étoile.

So whether you consider Étoile's decision a betrayal of Gale or not because they told him to his face their intention, or Gale's return of the Crown to Mystra a betrayal to Étoile knowing it would condemn their soul while I remain indecisive about when Gale's actions would be obvious to them — I'll leave that up to interpretation for now.

Besides this, breaking their Oath and risking the favor of their God could be considered a betrayal of sorts to either of their mothers or against Auril herself, though I have my own interpretation of allegiance to a Paladin Order vs favor of a God.

While in their canon I've made decisions about Karlach and magical coolant, in the game-compliant timeline, Étoile also feels as though they betrayed Karlach by not offering to go to the Hells with her.

Surely they've also been betrayed in their years as an adventurer in payment and fair exchange, but these people are dead or forgotten.

Midnight

Étoile primarily does not have "nightmares" because I am so adamant about Étoile not needing natural sleep as an elf. I fully support people who are like elves sleep because I want them to, but this magical bullshit is very dear to me for some reason, maybe even just because I started sticking my heels in the ground and now I can't get out of here in true Taurus behaviour. ANYWAY.

Étoile is kept up by grief and guilt, for people they killed, for decisions they made, for people they failed to save, for people they failed to feel guilty about when they killed them, for their own lost potential, for the lost potential of lives they ended — especially of people who were of shorter-lived races than their own.

They're a Paladin, so to deal with this, they pray. Not for forgiveness, because they're still praying to Auril. They'd pray that the dead found their way to their gods, and that they would yet find their way to her when they pass, and that in the meanwhile that her favor and guidance be made obvious in the world, to provide a sense of comfort and purpose in the path they walk (still killing people; even if they'd remained Neutral Good, bandits and worse are still people).

Otherwise they might read, and they like reading about other people's religions, to see what motivates them or their people, to better understand others through this facet that so thoroughly defines themself.

In place of nightmares, when in reverie, Étoile might end up fixating on a subject or a moment, overwhelming themself with bad memories or worse feelings.

Breaking their Oath is one of the most important moments of this, where memories of their lessons, their oath, their peers, their Paladin mother, would leave them feeling adrift, "unworthy" and broken. They would wonder how they were supposed to save their companions, and eventually also all of the Chosen Three's victims, if they'd already failed at saving themself — they will survive the journey but not as they were, not as they spent their whole life, a century and a half, moulding themself.

And then it passes or morning comes, and they have to act normally until the adventure is over.

It meant a lot of sympathy, solidarity and love for Shadowheart when she went through something similar. It meant a lot of impatience for the staff of the Circus of the Last Days.

[sorcerous-caress]

Ugh, it finally happened! Khal'ian and Kira's saves are fully cooked! So close to finishing act3 with my boy! 😓

Well, it gives me an excuse to finally remake Kira or create Khal'ian's in-lore manic best-friend Issal.

Welp, time to test honor mode with new subclasses!🤗

I'll work on more Wyll/Kira drabbles later tonight, but I have a question.

Do any of your Tav/Durges co-exist? Would they be pre-game friends/foes/lovers? I find it fun to branch out and see the characters I create interact with each other.

-githzerai anon

You can try to downgrade the game version and script extender versions to finish the saves off if you were really close to the end!

Also in the new endgame epilogue, Voss sends a letter that mentions the githzerai canonly in game! I thought of you when i saw it. If you're okay with spoilers lmk and I'll post it.

Also dude, honour mode is fucking brutal. One save file, you can't reload and if you die in the tutorial ship the whole save is nuked. All the rolls are inflated with a higher check number, I couldn't recruit Us because i failed the mutiliate roll despite having advantage. So many other people mentioned failing the Wyll Karlach pers roll and the pulling Gale out of the portal roll too. It's full on sadistic and I'm loving it but I can't go far yet because I'm still waiting on my favourite mod to update.

As for the Tav/Durge question, they definitely share a common dragon theme, I based them on different dragon species for fun.

First Tav was based on a gold dragon, friendly, chatty, noble heritage, extroverted and flirty. Romanced Astarion. Backstory is them being a noble supposed to take over the head of their family soon but got kidnapped, comes back to finding out the previous head got murdered and everyone in their family is a suspect except them since they were far away. Their dream person was a half-elf women. Gets thrown off the ship with a small baby red dragon that serves their family, followed them here. Hoards eggs/gold/gems.

First Durge was based on a red dragon, prideful, rude, arrogant, easily jealous, competitive and loves flattery. Romanced Minthara. They're not native to Baldur's Gate and instead come from a far away land in the east, they don't remember much since losing their memory, they hold a lot of Gortash themed stuff in their inventory not knowing why or who it belonged to. Their dream person was a drow man. Hoards bones/skulls/corpses.

Latest Tav is based on a brass dragon, loves to talk/sing, overconfident, cute, bad at being humble, anime magical girl tropes. Romanced Wyll. Multiclassed into bard, backstory is that they are a famous popstar that recently went solo from their band, too used to only dealing with fans so they tend to be offputting to normal people, they were touring in Baldur's Gate when they got kidnapped. Their dream person was a dragonborn man (mod). Hoards books/art/statues.

How do they relate? I'm not sure, maybe they're the same person but a different dragon lineage each time that drastically alters their life? Maybe they're long lost siblings? Maybe they don't know each other.

Well except two of them. I made a durge high elf guy for Minthara to abuse on a playthrough once, he is friends with my first Tav and i made them his dream person but they got separated ontop of the ship.

I mostly think about how my characters would interact with other people's characters, I think most of my Tavs or Durges would be indifferent to each other.

Khal'ian for example, I can say my first Tav would consider him a friend, maybe get a bit protective.

First Durge would be condcending with him and compares his shortcomings to Laezel a lot.

Latest Durge would be very friendly and think he needs encouragement to get out of his shell, might even be pushy about it.

I try to switch up the companions too on each playthrough to make it like it's an alternative dimension where every shifted a bit. Aka the werewolf Shadowheart au or the younger Gale one, since the more playthroughs you do, the more dialogue and scenes you start skipping so their canon plot gets old quickly and writing your own sounds more interesting.

But i do make them all human, all of my characters except that one high elf guy made specifically for Minthara. I genuinely have the biggest hard on for humans. i really think they're neat.

And my first dnd character was a dragonborn paladin yet here i am in human sorcerer heaven/hell?

What about you anon? Do Kira and Khal'ian know each other? What about the best friend you mentioned? Do any of them co-exist?

First Tav - Gold Dragon

First Durge - Red Dragon

Latest Tav - Brass Dragon

[pheonyxian]

Baldur's Gate 3: Sexless Any% Part 2

Part 1

Updated our old friend ratings and made three new ones! Including one that I know you animals have been not normal about.

Shadowheart: Basically the same, keep learning bits and pieces about her backstory, and she asks me not to pry, and I don't. Her dialog menu is literally full of shit like "We should talk about [thing you expressly told me not to talk about multiple times]" and "We should get to know each other better" and "I'm offended you kept secrets from me, a guy you've only known for five days." 2/10 literally nothing's changed.

Gale: Remember when I said I shamelessly like charismatic male characters who use charm to hide their dark secrets? Addendum: They have to do it for the *aesthetic.* The inner turmoil. Gale does it for profit. I'm offended. He said if I don't feed him expensive magical artifacts then the world is going to end. Not gonna lie I want to deny him any and all magical artifacts just to see if he explodes. 1/10 definitely sold essential oils in the past.

Astarion: We agreed that last night meant nothing and he was free to explore other necks, especially the bandits and paladins that try to kill us. Which actually unlocked a feature that allows him to drain HP from any living creature as a bonus action and gain +1 to skill checks. So remind me to play a vampire in my next DnD game. Regardless, now that we're just good friends we opened up about our lack of previous vampiric partners and gossiped about which companions would be a good drink and told each other our faces are pretty and other completely platonic things. 7/10 played bite/marry/kill with the other companions.

Lae'zel: I was supposed to recruit Lae'zel like, immediately after recruiting Shadowheart, but I was an idiot and walked right past her cutscene trigger. Thankfully six hours later I figured I really should have seen her by now and backtracked. Her first impression is very rough but talk to her a bit and turns out she can fight AND is well read AND literally gains influence with practically every action I do. Only issue is her one track mind to go to something called a creche and be "purified" of the mind flayer parasites, which is definitely not going to be some Logan's Run/The Island shit. 8/10 Not looking to avoid spoilers but you KNOW the fanbase underrates her.

Wyll: I heard someone describe Wyll as "main character energy" and yeah that's it. Go look up his intro cutscene if you haven't seen it. 6/10 have seen the thing with his patron and Karlach but honestly still too early to tell.

Karlach: Valid. 10/10

[malocclusive]

BG 3 Act 2 talk under the cut. Like so goddamn much. If you haven't gotten here yet, it's going to be confusing, but I was really stupid and made a ton of accidental discoveries and can't stop laughing. It's 3 am. (We have school off tomorrow) and I've put in 82 SAVED hours (Not counting all the times I fucked up and had to redo shit) in the past 3 weeks.

Losing my fucking shit laughing. My dumb ass missed SO MUCH in Moonrise. Like. SO much. I finished with Z'rell, and she sent me to go get Balthazar from the mausoleum. I convinced her into giving me Balthazar's key, and making the bugbear give me the good shit, and then went on my merry way to go back to the mausoleum.

God, I love my sad wizard.

Like... Immediately after. I remember not knowing where Balthazar's chambers were, then getting lost and getting distracted, and walking out of Moonrise. I get an alert that the tieflings/Wulbren questlines updated.

I had just handed Wulbren a hammer and he said he'd leave when it was quiet. I figured I didn't need to do anything more, since hanging around would be suspicious, so I didn't tell him I'd come back when the coast was clear. Apparently doing this allowed the most confusing alert ever, so I went back to Last Light.

Yeah, he died. ALL of the tieflings made it, though! And the only thing I could find about losing Wulbren (No info about this weird af alert from anyone online) is that he's a prick, so don't risk your ass over it.

I still felt guilty and didn't want Barcus to be upset his buddy died, so I went back. Holy shit. I missed EVERYTHING. I stole a bunch of shit from Kethric's room, played with his weirdass dog, stole a bunch of shit from Balthazar's room, and decided I'd try my hand at saving the prisoners. I'd briefly glanced that folks had trouble getting them to "boats in the basement", so I went to find this basement.

Ended up gaseous forming through the cat hole (That a summoned cat can't go through???) and scooting around the docks, terrified I'd get caught.

Which I did. I forgot it was a 10 turn potion, and I just zooped back into my normal body, and a guard started chatting with me. I end up persuading him to let me look at the cargo, because in my head I'm thinking, "Yeah, just supplies. Who cares. Maybe there's something cool I can steal, since they're giving me the option to schmooze this guy,"

OH, OK, BIGASS TADPOLE CANISTER. YEAH, LET'S POCKET THAT AND NOT LET IT ON THE CARGO SHIP.

Anyways, I save then and there, and try to talk to Karlach to see if I could tell anyone about my extremely wild thermos, and she's going on about her old army pal. From there, we go downstairs and I start killing torches so we can sneak around and kill the guards. I get to the last torch, and get an alert. Apparently Wulbren made it, AND the tieflings made it! What?! Ok, head back. Nope. Apparently Cal and Danis died along the travels, and we got Wulbren instead.

Fuck that noise, reload.

Talk to Karlach (I'd saved mid convo) and then have us all quicktravel to the Moonrise entrance, and get the notification that Wulbren died but the tieflings were cool. Go back to check, and it's all gravy. AND I have all the goodies, blackmail, and canister in tow.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough: Alfira, Karlach, and companion approvals.

(Major dark urge spoilers)

The game is forcing me to get going and move forward now - there’s nothing left for me to do in this area, and it seems that crossing the bridge towards the Blighted Village, or going farther north into the forest, are what triggers the dark urge Alfira camp scene. I was forced to finally do it.

Tav had so much fun with Alfira, it was such a touching scene with her back in the grove. Being a bard doesn’t give you the option to learn how to play musical instruments from her, but what you can do instead is do a duet with her and help her finish her song. Very moving. I loved it. The Weeping Dawn is a beautiful song. My tav has been making such good friends with the tieflings, I’ve really enjoyed the grove SO MUCH, I feel so protective towards the tieflings and I want to help them get safely to Baldur’s Gate. And then this happens. Tav is absolutely inconsolable to be responsible for such senseless and brutal murder, and to have hurt the people he only wanted to protect. We won’t be going back to the grove for a little while… Tav is going to explore the forest for a bit, he is too ashamed to show his face back there right now.

Apparently there’s tricks you can do to stop Alfira from coming to your camp, for instance knocking her out before doing the rest will trigger a different NPC coming, apparently. But like. In game, why would your Tav just randomly knock her out? If you don’t want the dark urge stuff to happen, why play dark urge then?

I knew this scene existed, but I was confused. The youtube cutscene I watched had that funny dragonborn bard showing up at camp instead. Apparently she’s the one who shows up if Alfira is not available. I was not aware though, I was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED to learn, it is Alfira who normally shows up. Ugh! I’m so sad! I got so attached to the tieflings, how awful, how awful it was. Now my campsite has this horrible shameful stain that won’t go away. I wonder if it will stay there the entire game as a constant reminder of how badly Tav fucked up.

It was a very somber camp chat after that. Gale in particular had some very cutting words. Which I deserved. RIP Alfira. I saved a little tab so I can go back anytime I want to play a duet with her.

Funnily enough, Astarion is almost at 40 approval right now and it’s going to trigger his first romance scene very quickly here. (who says he’s hard to romance? I actually find myself wishing it was going a little slower. I’m having a much worse time impressing Shadowheart right now. You don’t HAVE to do all the bad shit that he thinks is funny to do) It’s funny. Almost immediately after it’s apparent I’ve brutally murdered someone for unclear reasons, Astarion is throwing himself at me. I see it as: when tav is revealed to possibly be extremely dangerous, Astarion figures it’s time to hurry up and ally himself with the biggest bad in the room to save his own skin, kind of thing.

(I also triggered Gale’s first romance cut scene, which I totally didn’t realize at first was a romance scene - I can see how people got trapped in, lol. After an update they apparently added in some more dialogue options though and I think I picked a route that is, I like you just fine Gale but not in That Way, maybe, and we can still be good friends. Gale seems so friendly and chatty at first, but really, he gives away less personal details about himself than anyone else in camp. He feels at first like just a generic wizard dude with an unfortunate need to snack on my magic items, but he’s got just as much of a sad story as any of them, and it takes some effort to learn about it)

Lastly, I’ve finally gotten Karlach, so my main team is now complete. She’s amazing. I love her. It’s a bit stressful having so may awesome companions when I can only walk around with three of them at a time. Every single one is such an interesting character with an interesting story. …however…. My approval with Wyll suddenly shot up to an insane amount. I wasn’t really keeping an eye on but, but before getting Karlach, I was in the low 20s I think, and now suddenly, after all the cutscenes are said and done, I’m at 69. (nice) I guess getting Karlach bumped me up to the 40s, which I guess is what triggered his Mizora scene, which bumped me up another 20. So yeah, Wyll is now suddenly my bestest friend in the whole entire world. He’s an interesting character. Seems at first like a generic swashbuckling hero, but things aren’t what they seem at all, just like all of them.

Coming up next: I think I’m going to be forced to chat with Raphael very soon.

[soldiermom1973]

It's over.

Y'all, when I say I cried, I fucking mean I cried.

The fight was much easier than I thought it would be. Having a guide helped tremendously - the final fight (with the psyche) took less than one turn, thanks to Gale's Artistry of War. I'm really glad I read about that tidbit weeks ago & held on to the info. I also focused on the dragon first, mainly for the achievement, and it went down fairly quick (not sure if the Dragon Slaying arrows I hoarded for Astarion helped or not). If I do an honour run, I might use the orb, just to make sure some bug or something doesn't cost me a run. I've seen read too many stupid ways people's HM runs have ended and if I make it that far, I'm not leaving anything to chance. I love Gale to pieces, but that's a sacrifice I'll be willing to make. I also didn't have to use all of my allies. I either got really lucky or I really underestimated myself.

AND MY TAV LOOKS NORMAL AGAIN. I will never do the half illiithid thing again. Except maybe for an honour run. Maybe.

And of course, she & Gale got married. Which reminds me - Tara is quite the passive-aggressive jealous tressym, isn't she?

I sent Karlach back to Avernus with Wyll. I honest to god thought she was going to die and I sat in my chair ugly sobbing, trying to figure out what I did wrong when Wyll stepped up & said about them traveling together. But then there was a cut scene that made it seem like Tav was with them and she wasn't. It was weird and broken and I don't know why.

I had Gale give the crown to Mystra. I was hoping there was a cut scene for that, but I didn't get one. Just the proposal scene & him without the orb. I'm not super worried about it, though. I'm quite pleased with what I got.

And can we talk about the reunion at camp? It was so nice to catch up with everyone. I got to hug Shadowheart even though I never really took her anywhere. I got to hug Halsin because of course I did. I would have liked to have asked Astarion for a hug, too. And I'm so mad I couldn't 'talk' to my owlbear or Scratch. I'd used potions before (or switched to Karlach & had her cast the spell) and I couldn't do either. Ugh. I was still able to send the owlbear with Halsin, though.

Withers absolutely fascinates me. I don't know much of anything about D&D lore outside of BG3, but the things he knows and is able to do just really intrigues me. I do wish more people had been at the reunion. Maybe some surviving allies? I dunno. I shouldn't complain - I really was happy with what Larian gave us.

I was talking to my kiddo the other day about the fact there won't be any DLC. When I first heard it, I was still in the early stages of the game and was disappointed. Now that I've finished and I realize just HOW FUCKING MUCH THERE IS, it's understandable. I really think any DLC would have to happen in-game, so to speak. There are far too many endings and variables to account for to make a good post-game DLC.

So I'm sitting here in my chair, so caught up in my emotions about freaking fictional characters again. I'm still near tears about it all and have so many plot bunnies it's stupid. But you know what's worse? I said I wasn't probably going to so another playthrough until winter when I was down to working just one job. I think I might have been kidding myself because I'm starting another playthrough right now. I have a better understanding of the mechanics and damn it I just want more of the characters. I might even save Lae'zel this time. Plus there are other achievements & things I missed this first time around.

Thank you to everyone who tolerated or maybe even enjoyed my updates. I might blog the next playthrough, too, and I'll try to come up with a unique tag you can filter out if you don't want to see my drivel about it.

Oh, and please relax your jaw, drink some water, and take your meds if you haven't yet.

My youngest got me BG3 for my birthday. I want to like this game so much... I hope I don't have the same problems with it like I did the witcher.