#update: my brain tried to kill me but it didn't work and also i can legally drive now
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cillyscribbles · 1 month ago
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obsessed with ideas of what a fight between those two would look like...
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adambja · 1 year ago
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If you literally tried the void but didn't work for you I got you covered bestie 😭
I am working on a tape that will be released soon by the 25th of October it will be available for everyone to buy
This tape literally has everything self-concept but different from the main self-concept tape I sell it gives you the ability to change and control SELF to control and have a life altering experience without the void 😭!!!! This will be totally crazy to everyone here who doesn't really manifest normally or has problem to have that ability to do all this within only 3 days of listening to the tape lmaooo even you will have the ability to reprogram your subconscious mind with your thoughts instantly what i mean is not normal programming 😭😭😭😭!!!
This benefit I am working on (still testing its safety) it makes your brain create new fully developed neurons in your brain to have these beliefs and assumptions and it kills all the opposite neurons that has opposite beliefs/assumptions/feelings 😭😭
I said it before and I am gonna say it again I am a neurologist I studied neuroscience for almost 3 years and finally I am using it to increase the ability of the subconscious mind in a safe way like yes the subconscious mind already has that ability but you don't know it because since you were growing up you were literally told about the things your body can and can't do which is all wrong cause all of this can change since nothing is really real 😭!!! I am so proud of myself and the fact that until now this benefit is actually safe and it's working on me and other people even like on the long-term period is crazyyyyyy - for almost a month (the longest period) I am testing it i made the first version in 3 days during New York Fashion Week and I called one of my professors to help me because I needed to know if it's safe or not and it is safe he was like "you should try it I am sure it works pretty well if you are the one who worked on it I can't forget what you did when I was teaching you and send me a copy of the benefits and the other things you added if you really want to be sure I will check it and send you an email about all the things I noticed" and he sent it to me on October 9th and ma'am he gave me more ideas to add and he asked me if he can buy it and all of this is crazy and if he can use that early version until I make the full one 😭😭!!!!
Bitches I never thought it's that big of a deal making tapes 😭😭😭!!!!
And that's what I used my knowledge in
You literally can change people with only your thoughts and it's instant it's not complected at all simple easy even the reality itself! Your assumptions change instantly and it's effective from the first thought you don't have to think 9337873637 times to get anything you want
You already have it when you think once that's it
It will be a long ass tape I will have 3 versions a 1h and 30 mins tape - a 2 hours tape - a 2h and 30 mins one
Also the subconscious mind is 90% finished the only reason I didn't send it to anyone who bought it is because I am thinking of more affs and more benefits to add
Finally the results of the void experience will be released today all of them cause I already scheduled all of the days to be posted on October 17th which is today this was like days ago so yeah 🫡 I didn't forget
Update: it's still not available but you can buy it and I will send it to you when it's ready
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godlytemperance · 1 year ago
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npmd headcanons because my brain is rotted <3 <3
heehee hoohoo i am rotating the entirety of hatchetfield in my brain
im updating this as i think of more stuff so bear with me if this gets stupidly long
richie has audhd. i know this because he is me i am him we are EACH OTHER /j
ruth and richie met in the anime section of barnes and noble in middle school and nearly screamed when they realized they were going to the same high school later on
steph is lactose intolerant and is not brave about it ever. tries to share a hot chocolate with pete and spends the next three hours miserable
grace is doomed to kill in every timeline but it can be prevented by her best friends keeping her too occupied with mundane nonsense for her to find a gun
richie has so much tboy cringe energy. that man kins sasuke you cannot tell me i'm wrong
i have hit them all with my transgender and gay beam >:3c they're the friend group that hit their gender and sexuality realizations in waves. someone's egg cracked first (richie) and it set off a chain reaction
pete is genderfluid and usually presents masc (he/they)
bi with no strong preference either way
only recently began to dabble with femininity in his gender presentation
steph is gnc transmasc (he/she, used interchangeably)
bi with a masc preference
no matter who you are, if you have a crush on steph, you're gay. them's the rules pal
richie is transmasc (he/it)
aroace spectrum! he's demi on both ends, fluctuates pretty often.
somehow incredibly perceptive to romance unless it directly involves him, then he's as dense as a brick
ruth is a girlthing because she's swag like that (she/it/they)
pan with a fem preference
her preferred type is pathetic mascs and intimidating fems
grace is fem-presenting nonbinary (she/they)
formerly closeted lesbian
had the WORST case of comphet until she realized she didn't necessarily have to be attracted to MEN to be attracted to masculinity :3
max is transfem (she/he)
she's a butch lesbian!!! she doesn't feel pressured to be hyper-feminine after realizing she's trans, because she's already pretty happy with her outward presentation
saw all her new friends going through their various gender and sexuality realizations and is just "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me :)" (it did)
OH also paul is richie's uncle! richie's dad is paul's older brother. they don't interact much but it is literally Autism to Autism
if the group were to fall victim to any of the Lords in Black, it'd probably be as follows:
max - wiggly. rage hatred biting nightmare nightmare >:3
steph - nibbly. he's got the closest ties to the CotSC and also we need more nibbly rep
pete - tinky. duh. probs gets trapped in the box in timelines where steph dies before him and he desperately wants to bring her back
richie - blinky. idk it's just vibes to me. he seems like the kind of guy to go nuts for eye symbolism
ruth - pokey. she's a theater kid and i think that pokey would have a field day shoving her into the fucked up and evil spotlight
grace - all of them. they take turns babysitting her in various timelines. she is their favorite child
richie 100% uses anime terminology to describe normal ass situations. he calls steph a tsundere once and steph has to act like her world wasn't just shifted two inches to the left for the rest of the day
oh also in redemption timelines they have movie / bingewatch nights!! they cycle between everyone's favorite shows or films. it's the best part of their week every single time
max was cast as a leading role the one and only time she ever auditioned for theater and it freaked her out so much that she declined the role
richie's hair is Like That because he tried to get the cool anime spiky hairstyle to work for him (it didn't) (he doesn't realize this until college)
pete was a greek mythology girlie i just know this. something about him screams "i read percy jackson way too much as a kid"
also grace hand embroiders all her clothes as a hobby! (this is semi-canon, since she has embroidered strawberries on the cuffs of her jeans in the show)
the first time steph smoked ouid, he made the mistake of using cbd oil and a pipe at the same time. man was in SPACE
all of them are poly with each other but at different levels:
steph and pete are Dating dating. so are max and grace. wholesome yaoi VS toxic yuri
ruth and steph are almost definitely "best friends" in the historical sense
richie and ruth are qpp. if they were both 100% straight they'd probably be the most annoying couple in the world
pete and richie kiss sometimes but its genuinely platonic for them. just bros being bros
ruth and pete are friends to ??? to lovers to friends who cuddle sometimes
richie and steph are polar opposites but they love each other to death. black cat and orange cat kind of relationship
max and grace barely intersect with the nerds but they still consider all four of them to be part of their weird situationship
(grace definitely experimented with all four of them, with max's permission. just to be Sure. y'know.)
max is doing her best to make amends with the nerds but it is very slow going. she has gotten to casual fistbump level with them though!
the nerds usually just look at max and grace from the sidelines like they're watching two wild beasts circling each other in their enclosure. their flirting is NOT rated pg
richie unintentionally dropped the fact that he has a fursuit - a timberwolf, because i'm projecting - and ended up helping everyone design their fursonas. pete is a traditional chimera (goat, snake, and lion), steph is a plain black cat, ruth is a flemish giant rabbit (she did research), grace is a sheep, and max is a checkered-tail nighthawk.
any time that the group gets spam calls, all they have to do is hand the phone to ruth and they get taken off the lists the moment she speaks. ruth was frustrated by it at first but it became a game of "how many companies can i inconvenience before they stop calling hatchetfield numbers entirely"
steph braided pete's hair once and he damn near proposed on the spot
ruth knows how to sew (from doing tech) and helps teach max how to mend her clothes! max ends up being really good at it! she goes on to teach the entire football team how to fix their uniforms and ruth ends up being the honorary team favorite for at least a year
im taking jon matteson's "richie should have blue hair in a movie version of NPMD" and fucking sprinting with it. he dyes his hair at least once a year and it's a wildly different color every time
ruth is the kind of gal to love games with lots of violence because it makes her feel like a badass vigilante (she can barely do a push-up in real life) (just like me)
steph is deeply afraid of large bodies of water. major L on his part seeing as he lives on a fucking island
bouncing off of the above hc, pete's afraid of planes. these two can't travel out of hatchetfield without one of them nearly shaking out of their own skin
max doesn't actually like football that much. she's REALLY good at it, yeah, but she'd prefer to play most other sports even if she isn't good at them! she likes the challenge of doing something she won't automatically win!
grace probably writes lists of things to keep everything in order. she's got lists of all her favorite foods, a checklist of daily chores, etc etc (it's also because she's got undiagnosed autism and she functions better when she has a Routine)
no matter what, pete will always stop and talk to the homeless man downtown. he doesn't really know why, though. (ted wishes he could say something to pete, but he never does. best to keep him at arms length.)
ruth really really really reeaaaally wants to cosplay but she's nervous that she'll be deemed as the "cringy weirdo" by other con-goers. she eventually admits this to richie, who rallies the group into a group cosplay for moral support
it takes a lot of debate for them to find a fandom they all want to cosplay from. they settled on FNAF, specifically security breach bc it's Timely (they go to the con in 2022)
pete is glamrock freddy, steph is monty, ruth is glamrock chica, and max is roxy!
richie was glamrock bonnie and he gets so mad when the official design comes out a year later bc it was completely different than what he imagined
grace eventually agrees to dress up as vanessa (she never played the games) (she thinks the pizzaplex is a real animatronic mall) (everyone they meet thinks she's method acting)
they end up crashing at ruth's place absolutely DRAINED. they all have imprints on their arms from carrying around an absurd amount of merch. pete nearly started a fistfight in the parking lot with a bakugo cosplayer. max nearly finished it.
they all agreed that it was one of the best things they've ever done and also to Never Do It Again
richie had a brief phase where he was obsessed with black butler and he regrets it to this day
grace and max both have scary dog energy but in different directions. max (post-transition) looks really intimidating at first glance but she's got golden retriever energy. grace will stare at you with the scariest fucking eyes if you're mean to retail employees
steph has always wanted a pet, but her dad never allowed it. when he moves out and gets an apartment with the nerds, they all agree to rescue a pair of bonded cats for his birthday. steph doesn't stop crying for at least an hour
steph and pete named one of the cats, while ruth and richie picked the other one's name.
Mittens is the Lautski baby, a black and white girlie who is incapable of mischief. she's like the disney ideal of a cat. she's a cuddle monster and will be so sad if you have to get up and do things without her
ruth and richie are the proud coparents of Sir Jotaro Gooberton (the Third). he is the most stupid tabby you will ever meet in your life and he has made the crime rate in the household go up tenfold.
a very common Lautski date night is going to the candle section of walmart and just sniffing every single one of those bad boys until they get a headache
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staceymcgillicuddy · 1 year ago
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annual writing self-evaluation
Thanks to @astorytotellyourfriends for the tag - I didn't do this last year!
1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):
If She Lived in Space, Man, I'd Build A Plane crimson & clover pulling overtime model citizen; zero discipline what you give just serves me right two jack trippers and a chrissy perception check all my kinktober fills a hollow tree
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
Gosh, that's hard. I'm proud of all of them for different reasons, and I have issues with all of them for different reasons. I guess I would say "what you give just serves me right" makes me happy, and was something I had to push myself to do, but I was pleased with how it turned out in the end.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
I hate that I have two fics out that I haven't updated in ages! I am not proud of that! And there are a few things in all of them that I'd tweak.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
Oh golly. Alright, from a hollow tree, which was my Halloween fic featuring Lilith!succubus!Chrissy:
Fog slips into the van when he opens the door. A mist so thick it’s disorienting as he drops to the ground, and the shape of a girl forms itself out of the gloom.
5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:
Almost every single regular commenter on Soul makes my heart sing and my panties drop, and I'm so sorry my brain is being stupid right now.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
Right goddamn now. It's like squeezing blood from a fucking stone, and I have no idea why, but everything comes out strained and blechy and I hate it, and I refuse to inflict it on anyone else so I'll just sit like a lump, churning out crap and never showing it to anyone.
7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:
Genuinely did not think that I would get so into the Hopper/Chrissy/Eddie dynamic as I did when I wrote it as a crackship as part of kinktober. But, like, I could get DOWN with that shit.
Also, Hellcheerington surprised me. Oh, and writing Eddie's dad for Soul was weirdly cathartic? I was determined to make him a person and not a collection of cliches, which was easier said than done. I think I got there, in the end. Hope so, anyway!
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I didn't, I fucking regressed. Or, no, not really. I pushed myself a bit, tried to get sharper and cleaner with some prose. Read some theory books, worked on my rhetorical devices, forced myself to kill a couple darlings along the way (but not all the darlings, god damn it).
I also published a book, so yay?
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I'd like to get back to writing original fiction. I've been in a slump with that, too, because it doesn't have the instantaneous feedback that fanfic does. I want to split my time between fic and pro writing stuff, and I want to be very realistic about how much mental energy my real job takes up. When I used to write like a madwoman, I didn't have the role I currently do, which is a senior project manager leading a team, working mostly with executive-level staff. Don't get me wrong, my job pisses me off a lot, and stresses me out, too, but it pays well and we live in a shithole of a society where money matters in the grand scheme of things.
So, like, I guess I hope to grow as a writer in writing even when my brain doesn't want me to, or it doesn't feel great to do so.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Freaking Shirley Jackson, man. That bitch can write.
11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:
I'm always putting kinky shit I see or experience at the bdsm club into my fic. I am as God made me.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Everything is made up and the points don't matter. Stop comparing yourself to other authors. Turn off stats on your AO3. Write what you fucking want and quit worrying if other people are going to like it.
13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
I'm going to be so, so glad when Soul is done because I love it so much but it is also the millstone around my neck.
14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:
@binickandros, @pipergirl17 and @phoenixwrites please!
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a-really-cool-blog-name · 5 days ago
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ADOLESCENT EVIL TURTLES
I finally figured out some more things about my version of the turtles so I have decided to make an updated post about them. (They won't leave my brain) I don't have any stories written about them (yet) but I do have several videos on my YouTube channel. All details are due to change.
My original intention were for them to be super evil but honestly I've had so much crap happen to them that it's kind of justified at this point but they still don't see themselves as good people (and they have done some questionable actions) so the title still works.
Warning! This is probably going to be rambly and probably cringy because I'm just getting my thoughts out, but I'm having fun and that's all that matters.
So without further ado,
Basic backstory outline:
All of the turtles weren't initially turtles, they actually used to be humans. However, their mom (Tang Shen) died shortly after Leo and Raph were born. Eventually (series of unfortunate events theme song starts playing) their dad (Hamato Yoshi) dies years later and unfortunately for them they don't have any more living relatives so they are going to be sent to the orphana-
Wait, where'd they go?
Oh no, I don't tell me... Guess what dumb butts tried to evade the law to try and stick together? These dumb butts. And now they are trying to live off the streets and not get caught. Uh oh, as it turns out living off the streets is really hard but they persevere anyway! After -somehow- evading the law for nearly a year, they decide to just steal some bread from this truck- Oh crap the doors shut behind them... I'm sure this ends well. After nearly an hour waiting the door opened and they were in a garage Bebop and Rocksteady immediately notice the "little thieves" as they call them and take them to their master. The shredder doesn't take well to them and immediately tries to kill them with a substance from an alien species that just watches humanity like bugs that live under a rock (the Krang) or more accurately he forces Baxter stockman to try to kill them with an unknown substance given by an alien species. He also slashes Raph's face just for fun I guess. Luckily for them, they aren't dead (YIPPEEE) however they are still
Extremely confused
In a lot of pain
About to be knocked unconscious due to said pain
And wake up later not knowing what's going on and not understanding why they're surrounded by monsters realize they are also a monster and then start crying, punching walls, trying to get off the weird armor on their backs that hurt, or D all of the above.
(Gosh, someone give them a warm blankie and a cup of hot chocolate and several painkillers. I would say "don't do this to me" but I'm doing it to myself) (at least the mutation healed Raph's injury so he doesn't bleed out?) (I would say I'm not being very nice to Raphael but I'm not being very nice to any of them right now unfortunately)
So yeah, they're dealing with all of that years before the main story even starts. ANYWAY-
Side tangent, "Sub-mutations":
"Wait a minute, what's a sub-mutation? Isn't that a thing that happens when you get-"
Shut up! None of this is realistic anyway. Sub-Mutations our thing I made to inject as much hurt-comfort I can forcefully into these poor unfortunate souls while making their designs more unique.
Essentially what a sub-mutation is essentially "Aftershocks" of the very early prototype of mutagen the turtles were hit with, you see, the mutagen itself being the first version that didn't just straight up kill the person it hit wasn't...super stable? But luckily the ooze isn't completely stupid and understands this fact (somehow despite it not being an actual living creature, though imagine if it was that would suck. Oooooh someone should make AU about that with one of the normal versions of the turtles like imagine a venom situation? Dang it, not the side tangent in the side tangent. Anyways back on track.) and stabilizes itself over time...Phenotype-ly.
So, basically these poor little guys got to deal with random permanent changes that happened to their bodies forcefully and painfully every year or so (it happened more often during puberty) Luckily Donnie is a super genius and has figured out how to create a preventative medicine that itself stabilizes the mutagen without the need for the painful situation. Important notes! This is preventative meaning it cannot undo changes that have already happened and it doesn't completely stop them, it just makes them significantly less frequent. It also needs to be re-administrated every month or so, cutting it off cold turkey could lead to... Consequences. (Sorry Raph)
Now on to the turtles themselves! 🧡💜❤️💙
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This design depicts him at the start of an idea for a crossover I have in my head with him being 23. I admittedly should have drawn him as he would appear at the start of the story but I didn't feel like it soooooo just imagine him with less scars with less spots because he would be 18.
Personality: Mikey's just a silly little guy (or at least desperately tries to be). While he comes across as a jokester who pranks far too often (which he is don't get me wrong) he's still the oldest brother and worries a lot.
He's the type who holds a bunch of responsibility but tries to look like he's not holding on to a bunch of responsibility. He gets this out by pranking, mostly April.
He's the type of older brother tell his brothers that if they don't eat their vegetables a monster is going to come eat them and tell them that the paper strips in a Hershey's kiss are edible just because it's funny. Despite this he cares deeply for his brothers and wants the best for them. The people he cares about are the people that matter to him. He is willing to do anything to keep them safe. MEANS TO AN END MEANS TO AN END
If he stops telling quips on the battlefield say your prayers because you ain't going home tonight (best case scenario you're ending up in the hospital).
Random details:
5 foot nothing
Kandi kid (he made all of his brothers friendship bracelets) (trades kandi with Angel)
Absolutely no fashion sense (as you can tell)
The spots on his hands are meant to resemble drawing gloves. (Honestly all of them except for Donnie are the artistic type. You see he's the autis-)
His eyes are going to get a slightly more orange tint as he gets older
His spots are incredibly dry (I am projecting) and are the right texture to be able to light a match. (I just thought that be a funny gag)
He is the one to actually kill the shredder.
The Uno champion
He's the one who comes up with the idea of wearing masks to distinguish them better. (This was before the whole sub-mutation thing where they're all just kind of red-eared slider like)
He's a Mikey of course he has ADHD
He feels a lot of guilt over feeling as if he got off easy with the sub-mutations.
He's going to chill out with the constant pranking of April when he's in his later 20s.
The parentification is not treating him well, thanks for asking.
The only one to remember their mom a little bit, he misses both of his parents deeply. (Someone yeet this boy in therapy please)
Taught his brothers how to draw.
Gets into a new hobby every week and sees if it sticks, this week it's pottery for the sixth time.
Mikey feels like a great day is a day where his loved ones are happy because of his loved ones are happy, he's happy.
Misses hair the most
Voted second most likely to steal April's motorcycle. Not because he wants a motorcycle, but just to annoy April.
Woooooo~ cool transition line
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Depicted at at the start of the crossover age 21. He is 16 at the start of the story. Once again didn't draw him at the start of the story just imagine him shorter with less scars. (And more mentally okay)
Personality: toss 2012 Donnie and rise Donnie into a blender shake them all around add a gallon more of mad scientist and moral ambiguity then put them into a turtle shaped crayon mold (you know the ones from the sets where you melt down different colors of crayons and you mold them into like Spider-Man or something) and you basically have AET Donnie.
He's very matter of fact when he's talking yet somehow incredibly sarcastic; it's really like a coin toss as to which you'll get.
MAD scientist like he's kind of off his rocking chair and into the lost and found bin filled with marbles. He experiments frequently on the ooze (or mutagen as he kind of pretentiously calls it) typically on people he deems to be "criminal enough". (Typically people who have harmed I don't know someone like a child or a pet) This is all an attempt to try to understand it better to help his brothers and himself. However if he's in a situation where it is most convenient for him, say goodbye to hear humanity sucker!
He cares deeply for his brothers even if he has trouble expressing it sometimes. (His specific method of expressing it is by making them stuff)
Random details:
INCREDIBLY TALL like I'm talking 6'10 when all of his brothers are around 5 ft tall
He struggles with back pain because of this (not like he admit that)
Despises Casey's guts like for no reason whatsoever. (Casey messed around with something in his lab really early on into knowing him and Donny decided that he "needed a mortal enemy anyway" Donny desperately wants to mutate Casey just to see what will happen but he can't because April and Raph care about him.
When the crossover that's in my brain happens Donnie is going to mutate 2012 Casey because his April and Raph don't care about him and he's quote on quote "the most annoying" according to Donnie.
When Don's like I don't know 26 he's going to walk up to Casey and be like "Congratulations! We are now only Petty rivals since I have grown to tolerate you." Casey was completely unaware that Donnie hated him that entire time he thought they were friends with a petty rivalry which when he finally realized that Donnie actually hated him (when Donnie directly told him to his face) it had already turned to that lol.
He is wearing a friendship bracelet Mikey made for all of them, I just didn't feel like drawing his hands so I put them behind us back.
His eyes are going to get slightly redder as the ages.
He's a Donnie of course he has autism.
Has the longest tail only beating out Raph's slightly.
Refuses to wear anything except for hoodies, sweaters, and lab coats.
Him and April are science buddies.
Cut the mask tails off due to them brushing against his shoulder and absolutely hating it.
Donnie thinks that the best feeling is finally finishing a product that will greatly improve someone's day to day life and finally getting to bring it to them.
Honestly glad he doesn't have hair anymore.
Would be voted third most likely to steel April's motorcycle but April would just lend the motorcycle to him so nothing would be gained from that.
I don't know how to transition lines very well 🧡💜❤️💙
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Depicted at the age of the start of the crossover in my head being 18. At the start of he is 13. Once again, didn't draw his younger version just imagine him with less scars and less spikes.
Personality: You ever listen to the song Stick it to the Man from the School of Rock? Yeah, that's Raph most of the time. Adrenaline junkie with anger issues. (he's working on them though) Raph is the type of guy to leap first and then never think later, he's a doer and a dreamer not a thinker.
Random details:
5'2
Him and Leo are twins however Raph is older by approximately 30 minutes raph says it was both "the best and worst half an hour of his life"
The worst R.B.F you've ever seen, he's feeling absolutely fine in the image above.
He is the only one of his brothers to have a good fashion sense, however he chooses to ignore it most of the time because his clothes just rip anyway.
He's a total powerhouse when it comes to making clothes however: drawing the design, sewing, crocheting, or knitting it together? Raph's got you covered.
He critiques his brothers fashion choices randomly and has gotten through to Donnie at least because Donnie only wears three sets of clothes. He has not been successful with Leo or Mikey, especially Mikey.
Him and Leo's shared sudden heterochromia kind of freaks him out but he does like how intimidating they glow when emerging from the shadows, he kind of hates that they glow anywhere else.
Best friends with Casey, obviously.
He and Casey are the Branded Duo ™ for real (no I will not elaborate on that until I make a thing like this for Casey)
Has been taken by the EPF before (SCREW YOU JOHN BISHOP), and branded by them (that's what the tattoo on his arm is. It says T-9-84 as a reference to the year TMNT initially came out)
The EPF are also the reason he has a lot more submutations then his brothers due to the frequent experiments he had done on him during his time there. (You know the thing I mentioned earlier about the consequences of cutting the medicine off cold turkey? Yeah, that's also half of it.)
The chip taking off of his shell was taken for samples.
Out of all of the brothers he has the lowest opinion of humanity because of this. He doesn't think all of them are bad it's just that if he didn't know his human friends (mostly Casey) beforehand he probably would not have become friends with them as easily. (His brothers are still trying to work with him about that)
Raph doesn't like thinking about that time.
Raph has made or has at least resized him and all of his brother's clothes.
He most enjoys being in the presence of his brothers, AKA they both just sit in the same room doing separate activities. He absolutely adores this time.
Raph is never going to say directly how much he cares for a person but he will however spend multiple nights awake finishing a gift for them.
Doesn't really think about the fact that he doesn't have hair but used to, except for when he sees images of a mohawk where he instantly gets jealous.
Voted most likely to steal April's motorcycle.
You get the point 👦👦👦👦💥💥💥💥 🐢🐢🐢🐢
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Look you get the picture at this point, him and Raph are twins so, 18 here and 13 at the start of the story. Just imagine his younger version to be less fish.
Personality:
Quick Leonardo recipe:
Prep time: 9 months. Cooking time: 18 years as pictured above, 13 years for the start of the story.
You grab yourself a BIG pot (I'd recommend a cauldron) grab 2 gallons of water and pour it into the pot (make sure to keep some in a swimming pool for later) then you wait for boil then mix two quarts of rise Leo, two quarts of 2012 Leo, two cups of all other Leos mixed together, a quart of painful denial about your true morality, and a cup of empathy into the mixture and cover with a lid and bring to a simmer let's sit for 15 minutes exactly before dumping half the concoction on ice in a round shape and using that as a bowl for the rest of your mixture. Season with turtle instincts, naivety and a strong longing for the sea to taste!
No but for real this time
Personality: Leo's kind of like if you forcefully mashed 2012 Leo and rise Leo together and combined them like Play-Doh. He talks big when comfortable and tries to act serious and intimidating when in tough situations. (kind of hard to do that while you're wearing sci-fi merch) Kind of naive in that he still thinks that they're "heroes" as scene at the beginning of the story (he's having multiple crises) also kind of a hypocrite but mostly unintentional. He's kind of the type to listen to "where is the justice" and not realize it's from the perspective of the villain. He still cares deeply and is typically a rather kind individual having the highest opinion of humanity.
Random details:
5'2 AND half
He holds that half an inch over Raph's head (LITERALLY LMAOOOO)
Strongest turtle instincts by far, also has the strongest mental changes from the sub-mutations.
Said mental changes is mostly an intense longing for water. (absolutely loves swimming)
Leo got gills from the sub-mutations (yay breathing underwater) don't worry, he still has lungs. He just can't breathe properly when panicking, which is most of the time. (uh oh) (He may be the youngest but he's not escaping the anxiety) Donnie made a little something something for when that happens, Leo just has to press the button on the back of his neck and bada bing bada boom proper breathing restored!
He cannot for the life of him tell if he likes or hates the extremely bright colored eyes even after all this time. He also can't tell if he thinks the eyes glowing are cool or concerning. He's not a fan of how intimidating (intimidating as in "glowing eyes from darkness" all intimidation factor stops once he comes out of the darkness) they can come across if he's not careful. (He kind of hates that he relishes in people's fear sometimes.)
Leather works, he made both Don's shoes and Raph's jacket. (He's currently trying to make a jacket that won't rip as much for Raph)
Tried asking Mikey if he wants anything made for him but Mikey just says he's fine because he doesn't want to burden Leo.
He likes tending the garden with Donnie.
He's probably fished with nothing but his claws and his teeth; not even bothering to cook the fish when eating it, he denies this but it's unclear as to whether he's embarrassed about this or if he literally doesn't remember doing this multiple times.
There's a lot of things he doesn't remember doing, but he's not going to let anyone know about that or how much it scares him.
When winter hits he'll just sleep for like 4 days straight wake up be completely fine for a couple days and then conk out again.
The biggest sci-fi nerd, if he's not wearing merch it's because Raph forced him to. (AKA told him the truth that he looks very tacky)
Mikey's partner in crime when it comes to pranking.
PUNS PUNS PUNS
Honestly, as much as he dislikes a lot of the sub-mutations his ability to make fish jokes almost makes up for it to him.
Leo's dream Day would be coming back after afternoon of swimming to a nice hot bath then cuddling up in some warm blankets with a nice cup of mint tea and rewatching a Sci-Fi show (I'm probably something from the Star Trek series) for the 17th time while he can vaguely hear the chatter of his brothers through the wall.
Still kind of misses his dad even though he can't remember him very well -Mike's stories are great and all- he just wishes he got to know the guy better.
Makes jokes about him and Raph's shell injuries matching, Leo doesn't realize this but this comforts Raph a lot.
Has been defenestrated once.
Doesn't care either which way about hair. He had hair? Chill. He has no hair? Still chill.
Voted least likely to steal April motorcycle
Why do I feel like I made so many more notes for Leo when it's not that much more, I don't think?
That's the basic ideas, I'm probably missing something that's going to keep me awake at night but that's as good as I got.
I'm going to make April and Casey's thing like this later I can't promise it'll be before next year but I will certainly try to remember to make them (I'm very excited to talk about them.)
Anywho, now you have context for some memes and videos I've made. (Check those out now that you have context btw) I'm fully willing to answer any questions if anyone has any.
Now time for the bonus for making it this far,
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Shiny Mikey.
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turtlemagnum · 1 year ago
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so, spent some time with fallout: new california (new vegas mod), probably about 15-16 hours judging by how long i stayed up that one night, so here's my review:
writing was better than that of fallout 3 or 4, but to me that's as much of a compliment as saying that a mcdonalds burger tastes better than literal shit. i liked the characters, there's a certain charm to most of them, but i wouldn't consider the writing to be exceptional. i also feel like the writing got significantly worse after leaving the vault, but that might just be that the companions i had basically had nothing to say after getting to safety. i will add that the voice acting was all around pretty great, even if in some areas the writing wasn't up to par. i'll also say that in some areas, their insistence on stuff being fallout lore friendly felt a bit.... repetitive, of previous games?? like aside from the enclave still existing (which to be fair, fallout 3 insisted it still exists too but i don't count that, the damn enclave was blown up in fallout 2), it's also a bit weird to me how there's also just another guy who's basically just the master, but again
some context is that i went relatively scorched earth, war of all against all type deal, which is something i rarely do in RPGs. it started with killing all the raiders in their mine area (side note but i wish you could free the slaves, though to be fair that's also a problem in vanilla new vegas so eh). but the way i played was essentially just... holding my ground?? raiders wanted me dead, i killed them. and when i got to the NCR dipshit, he threatened my life if i didn't work for him so i killed him too, thus pissing off the NCR and seemingly a few other groups (like gun runners). but it all felt natural, i normally don't like playing as a wasteland boogieman kinda guy but the way i naturally fell into it felt pretty nice. y'know how in jjba, pillar men are to vampires what vampires are to humans?? i felt like that sorta deal to raiders and other such miscreants, even moreso than in base new vegas. it felt natural, very very natural, and i didn't really feel bad for simply standing my ground, y'know?
i do like the update to the NCR uniform, it actually blends in pretty well with the worldspace and caused me to mistake shrubs for corpses and vice versa. made looting NCR troopers a bit more of a pain, but it was executed in such a way that made me appreciate the extra effort that they honestly didn't really have to do. like, with a lot of things i feel like they coulda left something untouched and it would've been just fine, but they tried to improve it and i appreciate that (like the 10mm pistol!! i actually really love the update to the 10mm pistol model, looks more like an actual gun)
i do like the relative freedom afforded by the game. right at the start of the "real" game, i immediately shot the siblings bragg in the face, and it just let me! sure, they got back up, even after i esploded their heads with my 10mm, but that just meant that i got more 10mm off their corpses (which also seemed to regenerate, weirdly enough). from what i've seen, doing the NCR main quest seems a bit railroady, but i've definitely seen new vegas mods do the overall concept of "NCR main quest for our quest mod" far, far worse. i also like that there comes a time where you're actually free to rearrange the brain matter of senator dickshitter (i don't remember his name). the whole empire of japanese immigrants thing felt a bit contrived, but i can't say that it wasn't cool, and to be fair i think that things can be a bit contrived if they're cool enough and it's not that implausible
the thing where one of the only main cities exclusively insists on NCR dollars is insufferable, mostly because gunrunners was there and they didn't even have any NCR dollars for sale. one of my favorite pasttimes to do in the base game is to lightly flirt major knight into repairing my shit for free and abusing that to get guns and armor i looted off of raiders all pristine and ripe for selling, and one of the best places to hawk my garbage is gun runners because they're A. rich as hell and 2. have a lot of guns and ammo and gun accessories, and as a gunfucker who literally learned to mod the game to edit how the guns work, that gets me off like you wouldn't believe (side note but i'm actually pretty sure new vegas was what originally set me on the path of becoming a gun guy, like in retrospect. i really appreciate the fact that this damn game gave me my strongest special interest, and that the devs went so far as to actually buy guns and shoot them to see how they should properly work, using (mostly) real guns and calibers and shit)
this is all to say that all in all, i liked new california. i wouldn't say i loved it, and after one extended play session and a second few hour one, i wouldn't say i feel compelled to keep playing. but all in all, i'd recommend it. now, does it compare well to vanilla new vegas? no. but that's like saying that this mcdonalds cheeseburger isn't as good as the best damn burger you've ever had, made just for you from a local joint. now, is it a nice change of pace? does it give you new fun to have in one of the greatest games of all time? absolutely. i'd recommend it, though to be clear i'd personally back up your game before installing it and then once you're done, delete the new california install and just copy and paste your original version back to where it was. or, like me, also back up your new california install because you might (might) wanna revisit it.
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cdroloisms · 2 years ago
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can I have a refresher on the plot of the just him and me au? I got super brainrotty over it when y'all first made it but then i forgot my tumblr password for like ages
hello hello again anon! don't worry talking about jmah is like my bread and butter i can do it literally all day every day it's SO bad this AU changed my brain chemistry forever i stg 😭
here's a link to my tag on the AU, and if you go to @theminecraftbox kat also has her tag linked for you to look through a lot of JMAH rambling XD. For a general outline on the concept and timeline, JMAH (or just me and him AU) is a concept that starts with c!Sam, freshly killed at the end of the Daedalus arc, getting tp-ed back into his old body right as c!Tommy is about to enter for his first prison visit on January 21st, 2021. He comes to terms with what's going on pretty fast and decides that this time around, he's going to take things more seriously. This time, he's going to do it right.
That leads into the JMAH prison arc, which--true to the name of the AU--consists of just j!Sam and j!Dream for as long as j!Sam can manage it. Here's a quick rundown of major events:
January 21st, 2021 - j!Sam first gets tp-ed into the prison again. He prevents Tommy from actually ever visiting Dream, marching him out of the prison and immediately banning visitors to Pandora's Vault entirely. He goes back to the cell, freaks out at a very confused j!Dream, confiscating most of the items in the cell (taking the clock, blowing up the chest and lectern and cauldron to collect them), j!Dream's potatoes, and his mask. j!Dream fights when j!Sam tries to take his mask--it doesn't go very well. He gets pretty badly beaten and j!Sam himself doesn't come out unscathed either.
January 22nd, 2021 - j!Sam modifies the cell entirely--adds a lot more dispensers along the back, adding the crying obsidian, and most importantly adding a row of glass with a piston door to keep j!Dream locked in the back of the cell with only about two or three blocks of space from the glass to the back wall. A return system very similar to the one in c!Ponk's cell is installed. j!Dream is reeling and injured and kinda in shock about what the hell is going on with Sam, what - and as j!Sam starts putting harming potions in the dispensers above his head, he starts to realize that. Oh. He might be a little bit fucked.
January 24th, 2021 - j!Quackity tries propositioning j!Sam for Las Nevadas. j!Sam emphatically refuses, makes some weird implications about j!Quackity wanting to torture j!Dream (??? what ??? like not that the thought didn't cross his mind but what the FUCK??) and is ultimately pretty cagey and aggressive in ways that pretty thoroughly sour j!Quackity to the guy, especially when he learns about the weirdness that happened with j!Tommy's prison visit. The two of them start hanging out more, and in the process start theorizing that maybe j!Sam is in with the enemy--maybe j!Dream has played them all. (Around this time, j!Sam also seals up the Egg Room. Okay, problem boxed fixed, not his problem now!)
~March, 2021 - Lacking any updates from inside the prison, j!Ranboo sets off the TNT in a last ditch attempt to try and communicate with the man inside. j!Dream is heartened by the reminder that he's not been forgotten, but also faces Consequences for this. He's slowly coming to terms with j!Sam's deal and trying to figure out what the hell he's going to have to do to survive it and get out of here. On the other hand, the TNT freaks out j!Sam badly--even now, even after everything he's done, j!Dream is still hiding things from him. Still getting things past him. It's a pretty rough day for them both.
~ May 2021 - j!Quackity and j!Tommy's efforts to break into the prison to figure out what the hell is going on finally bears fruit in a convoluted, definitely-should-not-work-in-the-slightest-by-any-stretch-of-the-imagination kind of plan that. Miraculously. Somehow. Does manage to work, through a combination of j!Sam being a little too careless and distracted and hey like after you try different things like a hundred different times maybe you'll come up with something a little less bound to fail on step one and sheer, plain, dumb luck - they manage to break in while dragging Ghostbur with them, wanting information on what's going on (and j!Quackity, of course, looking for information on the revive book.) Once they get to the cell, all hell breaks loose - in the chaos, as j!Sam makes harming rain down from the dispensers to try and gain control, j!Dream ends up reviving j!Wilbur before j!Sam arrives in the cell. j!Sam maims and kills j!Quackity, taking two fingers and a life, and then once again throws j!Tommy out of the prison. IT's the first major deviance from the old timeline, and it is. a Huge blow to j!Sam, who has otherwise been convincing himself that everything has been running smoothly thus far. It's a awful cocktail of some of the moments from the old timeline where he felt the most out of control (taking Ponk's arm, watching Tommy die, being unable to stop Dream from reviving Wilbur, Quackity's visits) and it shakes him up badly. His relationships have been slowly burning as this timeline has proceeded - despite managing to not torture and maim j!Ponk this time around (woo great job for that one j!Sam) they had a very messy + very public breakup, j!Tommy's complaining hasn't really done his reputations any favors, cutting off the rest of the Badlands and not keeping j!Bad and j!Ant as guards hasn't helped their relationships at all, and he's also just . Been holing himself in the prison. This incident gets pretty publicized and only ends up making his reputation worse - and j!Sam ends up spending even more time within the prison.
~ November, 2021 - Tired of j!Sam's bullshit, j!Quackity's planning goes from 'trying to figure out what's going on' to full on Butcher Army, time to plan a coup. Enlisting j!Techno for the cause (hey, they've got to have a shared grudge against j!Sam, right?) he starts planning a takeover of the prison. He's going to take out j!Sam, trap him, j!Dream, and j!Techno inside the prison, and get the keycards for himself. Time for him to be top dog, whatever. His plan goes off pretty well...except for how j!Techno had a stasis pearl and manages to leave before he gets to him. Whoops. Still, he's got j!Dream and j!Sam and an axe he's been grinding for months--time to get the keycard and get the Revive Book and get his fucking revenge for good.
~ end of November, 2021 - j!Techno returns not too long after gathering some supplies necessary to break in and break out of the prison again, the weak points being. Much, much more shoddily patched together, given that they were fixed by j!Quackity. At this point, j!Quackity has been visiting the cell daily for about two weeks, mostly focusing on j!Sam because he's really fucking angry about the whole "oh yeah i maimed and killed you lol" thing and because...honestly j!Dream isn't even as fun or as satisfying, mans has a pretty high pain tolerance and isn't nearly as scared of him as he is of disappointing his Warden >:/. j!Techno arrives, j!Quackity books it the hell out of there, and he's left with j!Sam and j!Dream in the prison. He's here to break j!Dream out, obviously...but what to do with Sam? Dream tells him he'll handle it.
about a week later - j!Dream returns. j!Sam had told Quackity about the time travel, j!Dream wants the keycards (and with the threat of j!Quackity coming back, j!Sam is definitely pretty willing to give them over, relatively speaking) and...j!Dream wants answers. JMAH Daedalus goes on for a stretch of time that I don't think we firmly decided on before j!Dream kills j!Sam with an axe to the heart, and...j!Sam is left back at where he started. One life down and wondering how it all went so wrong.
Of course, these are just most of the main ~events~ in the timeline and honestly, these don't really touch on how things develop within the prison at all. That's covered more in other posts about JMAH--which, definitely check em out if you're interested :D Or ask more questions, of course. I'm always down to brainrot about themb.
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morguevampire · 2 years ago
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(Un) Fortunate Encounters - Chapter 4
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Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three
Masterlist for this fic
summary:  With your body needing rest you fall into a sort of routine at the Baron's mansion. Which doesn't mean you trust him. It's mostly a back and forth between the two of you.
warnings/tags: fluff, smut, angst, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of torture, drinking, mild alcoholism, dark themes, slow build romance, not really Stockholm syndrome but that’s up for interpretation 
chapter: 4/?
word count: 2.121k
pairings: Helmut Zemo x fem!Reader
author’s note: Hey yo, 
there ya go. Chapter 4! 
Honestly not sure about this chapter but let's just blame it on uni being stressful and my brain being fried. I really tried my best, going over it a few times but at last I figured I'd post it because I was afraid that if I didn't keep up the regular updates I would just abandon this story. 
Let me know what you think! I promise to do better for the next one! Comments, kudos etc. are welcome, as well as feedback :) 
Adios
You can also find this work on https://archiveofourown.org/works/43158162/chapters/108965257
It’s almost midday when you wake up the next morning. Your exhaustion completely took over you and you find yourself surprised at having slept soundly through the night. It takes you another good hour of contemplating your life and the current situation until you finally crawl out of the comfort of the warm bed and into the bathroom to freshen up.
Your dreamless slumber and general fatigue didn’t necessarily leave you with much capacity to mull over whether you wanted to accept the invitation of staying with a murderer or strike out on your own and most likely get killed by other murderers but really, perhaps unconsciously you had already made up your mind.
As you head down the stairs towards the living room you find the house quiet and unoccupied. You decide to explore the space, perhaps finding Zemo in the dining room or wherever all the other paths of the mansion led to.
Carefully, almost as if you were an intruder you make your way through the dining room, where just the evening before you had dinner with a god forsaken terrorist. Another door leads into the modern kitchen, fully equipped with appliances you could only afford to dream of and a big island with stools on one side. One wall was lined with full glass, overlooking a lush forest which made you conclude that the house was most likely in the middle of nowhere. You stand in front of the windows, memorized by the scenery when Oeznik quietly enters the room, startling you as he interrupts your daydreaming.
“Would you like a cup of coffee, Miss Y/N?”
You accept eagerly, realizing you haven’t had your coffee fix in almost three days. Oeznik informs you that the Baron was out on an errand. He disappears shortly after handing you your cup and you decide to sit down in the living room once again, staring out of the windows there or roaming through the shelves of books while enjoying your freshly brewed coffee.
You were almost finished when you heard the front door open and close, expecting the Baron to appear shortly after.
“Good morning. I thought I’d get some of your belongings from your apartment so you’d feel more comfortable.”
You stare at the two duffle bags that he hauled onto the couch.
“So, you just assumed I would stay?”
“Aren’t you?”
His condescending tone once again annoying you,´; you challenge him, even though he is right. His whole demeanor oozes arrogance and a know-all attitude which pisses you off, not just on him but on humans in general.
You’re almost too proud to answer him, his face once again wearing a slight smirk.
Most likely with too much force and looking clumsier than you intended it to be, you snatch the two duffle bags and simply mumble a hasty “thanks” before storming off towards your room once again, leaving the Baron to huff out a quiet laugh at your temperament.
In your room you go through the duffle bags. They’re filled to the brim with clothes, surprisingly a lot of your favorites. Toiletries are also neatly packed, which makes you cringe a bit at the thought of this man going through your bathroom. You’re sort of at a loss when you discover your nowadays not so stuffed little plush duck in there. It’s a little greyish thing, used to be white but that was a long time ago, its head not really upright anymore. It’s usually hosted on your bed and you haven’t stopped sleeping with it since you were about five years old. You were oddly sentimental over this thing, holding it in your arms now. It gave you a sort of safety to know you had it with you.
You sort through the rest of the stuff, happy with having a bit of your life back but also unsure as the amount gave you a feeling you’d be staying for longer than you initially hoped.
The only thing that’s really missing in the bags is your phone, or your notebook. You suppose it’s because of the very obvious reason that technical devices would mean communications to the police or the outside world which most likely don’t overlap with the Baron’s plans for you. It still makes you frustrated.
Once you descend the stairs again you find the man who just an hour ago went through your private belongings sitting on the kitchen island, a laptop in front of him.
“I want my phone.”
He looks at you somewhat surprised that you would even dare to ask such a stupid question.
“Not possible.” He scoffs. “At least for now.”
You roll your eyes, once again annoyed and already regretting your decision to even come down here.
When you inquire about the duration of your more or less forced stay, or the progress in his strategy to get his enemies off your back he gives you cryptic, monotone answers. None the wiser and feeling defeated you sit down on one of the high barstools furthest away from him. Once again absently staring out of the window. Out of the corner of your eye you see him shuffling around the kitchen but you completely zoom out and don’t really take in anything he’s saying until a plate with food on it is placed in front of you.
“You should eat.” Is all he says before picking up his laptop, leaving you alone once more.
********
A few uneventful days fly by. In a weird, twisted sort of way your life found a routine. With your body still being in the healing process you spent most of your days sleeping, or dozing in your room. You couldn’t remember the last time in your life you actually had the time to just do nothing. No distractions, no guilty feelings about being unproductive. Even if you wanted to, there was nothing to do. The times you did wander downstairs to pass over the time, you usually found yourself drawn to the book shelves in the living room. Browsing through the titles and mostly being too afraid to touch vintage looking ones.
You were never a crazy reader, but you did go through your phases and always wished for more time for the activity. Often work or general adult-duties kept you from it and the forced technology detox helped you appreciate books more.
The Baron wasn’t around too much. Usually in the morning or rather midday Oeznik would offer coffee and breakfast to you and quickly disappeared out of sight once you sat down on the kitchen counter, staring out at the woods. You’d encounter Zemo randomly throughout the day, never saying too much and mostly trying to be out of his way as much as possible. Your trust in him was still uncertain and he didn’t seem to try to make much of an effort in gaining it. The only consonant was your shared dinner, usually something hearty, the two of you on the large dining table. It felt awkward, the only conversation usually being him checking up on your general wellbeing and health condition.
He’d always seem so unbothered by the tension in the room, while you were constantly in flight mode. Even though he had more or less shown you hospitality, always been polite and tried to stay out of your business, he still made you uncomfortable. He seemed so sure of everything, his position, your position while not really giving you any answers to your questions, yet still underneath concerned about you. You couldn’t figure him out.  
You were relieved once these dinners would end and you could go curl up in bed once again – just to have a deep dreamless sleep.
It surprised you how easy sleep came to you, considering you were usually an overthinker with insomniac tendencies whenever your mind was occupied with personal struggles.
You should have seen it coming, there was only so many hours of rest your injured body would need before your unconscious mind decided to plague you with nightmares.
It comes on the fourth night at the mansion.
You jolt up chocking. Your lungs desperately grasping for air. It takes you a moment to realize where you are. The room, your room. Your head isn’t underwater. You aren’t back in the warehouse. You’re safe now, he said.
You drag your forearm across the top of your head, realizing just how much you sweated. Still not fully awake and back to reality you slump back down, breathing hard and trying to control your emotions. You’ve been rescued, your wounds are healing, the bruises are fading, you’re safe. But you’re also still locked up. Forced to stay in a safe house of a man who killed innocent lives. 
You toss and turn for an hour or so, slipping in and out of consciousness, that feeling of fear, torture and pain always coming back. The clock on the little bedside table reads 3:38 a.m. when you decide to give up. You wouldn’t fall back asleep anytime soon and the room suddenly feels too claustrophobic, the chocking feeling in your throat becoming more intense as the minutes tick by.
You decide to head downstairs into the living area, selecting the book you started to read days prior. Only it didn’t quite manage to distract you from the night’s terrors.
Curled up under a cashmere blanket on the big leather couch your body was still tense and you couldn’t concentrate on any of the words in the book. You don’t know how much time has passed when a low voice interrupts your blank staring at the letters.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
The Baron entered, a steaming cup of tea in his hand, heading towards you.
You only shake your head, feeling uncomfortable in being called out.
He doesn’t ask you, just holds the steaming cup of what you smelled to be chamomile tea in front of you. Hesitantly you take it from him, not trusting his intentions.
It seems as if he’s giving you space to talk on your own, even though he sits down right next to you, close enough to make your body tense up again.
After a few sips in heavy silence you slowly begin to speak.
“Why are you up?”
He was still dressed in his street wear. Black trousers and a gray knitted sweater.
“Insomnia.” He answers with a shrug, turning his head to look in your direction, focusing his brown eyes on you and pursing his lips before he continues. “Let me guess… nightmares?”
You nod.
“It’s the natural reaction of your brain and body to all the horrors you’ve experienced in the past week.”
A nod again, this time faintly annoyed at his smart talking and prying into your personal matters.
“I am sorry for your pain. This might not help, but I do empathize with what you’re going through. I have had my fair share of nightmares and PTSD.”
“We’re not the same.”
You mumble and break eye contact, not being able to take his soft, pitying look anymore. You don’t want his empathy and you certainly don’t want to empathize with him. If he wants to open up about his past or his struggles he should see a therapist, not load it onto the woman he kidnapped.
You fumble around with the handle of the tea cup for a bit, wishing to just be on your own again.
“What are you reading?”
You show him the cover of the book. Walden by Henry David Thoreau.
“Can’t really concentrate on the words though.”
“Would you like me to read to you?”
You most likely don’t hide your surprise well but he only chuckles and motions for you to had him the book, still lying open in your lab. You do and not soon after find yourself half lain down on your spot, feet curled up and eyes fluttering shut as Zemo’s low, accented voice carried you into a solidary life in the woods.
You’re not sure at what point you fell asleep but as you drift in and out of a calm slumber his voice is always there, a consonant that your unconsciousness latches onto for distraction. A guide into a numb sleep.
********
You awake in your bed the next morning. Hazily trying to remember if you’ve only dreamed of the Baron reading to you and trying to figure out how you ended up in your room. It must have really happened as you faintly remember being pulled out of sleep for a second as he lifted you in his arm and carried you upstairs, brushing the hair out of your face softly, before leaving your room, letting your tired mind rest.
And you felt safe. And cared for.
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moonlightchn · 3 years ago
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𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊 𝕾𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖘 🌓
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HEWWO HEWWOOO IT IS A ME!!! CHANNIE!!!! EEEEEEEE did you misssssss me~? 😌😌😌 it's ok if you did you can admit it it's fine! hehe~
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HOW AREEEEE YOU GUYS it's been a while hasn't it? 🤔 been so busy around here we barely get to breath anymore!!! with been so busy I mean I've been sleeping a ton and focusing on myself. i MEAN I've also been home and working with the pack and learning new stuff i didn't know alphas had so many responsibilities i mean I did know but I didn't think we had so many like yknow stuff??? now I see why chans always BUSY did you know there's a wolves association???? insane!!!
anywho sometimes a social media break can be v refreshing tho have you tried it 🥴🥴🥴 disconnecting is so sexey sometimes uwu gave me actual time to be adulting amd try new things! what have you been up to tho ??? as you can see I DYED MY HAIR AYEEEEE 💇🏻 it was v brief because I'm bad at maintaining my hair my hairstylist HATES ME JDNEJDJD did you know I've been going to the same lady forever now she's so nice she hates I slowly kill my curls as she SAYS 🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️ I think they're v good still just a bit freezy JWHWJWJSJ
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mmmm other than that nothing much been going on with me I've been learning how to take better care of pickle 🐸 🐸 🐸 I got him this huuuge new terrarium a few months back and I've FINALLY managed to make it look PRETTY EEEEEE 🥺 I think he loves it cuz he buries himself a lot in it and baths in the small pond!!! been contemplating a new froggie lately but they're so territorial I bet pickle woukd pick FIGHTS 🙄🙄🙄 been also having some rlly eye opening 4am chats with my sister it's crazy how fast they grow up and how smart kids these days are big brains girl if you ask me anyway this all the updates from me let me not bore you anymore hhhhhh I'll be around again been missing having friends 😌 trying this new thing called getting out of my shell, hit me up to go out maybe if you're free AYEE 🥴😩
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george-fabian-weasley · 4 years ago
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if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.
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Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.
Words: 2,160 words
Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk
Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)
Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 
masterlist! | general taglist! | buy me a coffee!
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The end of the world.
The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.
At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.
You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.
“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.
Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.
So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.
It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 
You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 
“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”
“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 
“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“
He was saying it in case anything happens.
“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.
“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.
“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.
“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.
“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”
It happened so fast.
One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.
It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 
Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.
“… Y-Y/N…”
You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 
He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.
“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”
“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”
You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”
“We… We will?”
Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”
You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.
“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 
Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”
“Fred…”
“Five more minutes, I promise…”
You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.
“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.
“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”
“… Anything.”
Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”
There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.
This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 
Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.
If only you had five more minutes.
“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”
You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 
“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”
You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.
Some things are just meant to be.
You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”
He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”
“I love you, Freddie.”
With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“
Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.
“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.
You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.
“I guess we will be, after this.”
“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  
“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.
On our last few drags of air, we agree
I was, and you were
Happy
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TAGLIST:
@multifandom-but​ @sirenswhispers​ @lilac-skies-xd​ @obsessedunicorn24​ @foggyturtleknightangel​​ @evewithluv​ @softlyqoos​ @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lilypad-55449​ @fiantomartell​ @hopemalfoyweasley​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @bucketandpotato​ @klausdatprettyboi​ @adoregin​ @littlechillies​ @phuvioqhile​ @sweetnspicysimp​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @harrypotter289​ @emptyporsche​ @tallyovie​  @potters-heart​ @amourtentiaa​ @lunalovecroft​ @loveboyhalo @lupinsclassroom​ @breadqueen95 @iwritesiriusly @rcwenaclaw​ @sevsbitxh​ @freds-slut​ @acosmis-t​ @colorfulprofessornickelangel​ @vote4weasleys​ @anchoeritic​​ @alluringshawn​ @cute-sidney​ @anna-banana-13​ @lostaurorax​ @emrysts​ @rosietoesy @lilgeorgie78 @prismarts @an2402lths
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chosonore · 4 years ago
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part one | oblivion
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oblivion [noun. the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening around one]
pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader
summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.
wordcount: 3.9k
content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re not strictly following the manga timeline bc while i am reading it, i do have a goldfish brain, lowercase intended
a/n: hello, here’s the first installment of my sanguine series! it’s the prequel of this drabble (nsfw) i wrote the other week while i was working on the outline of the fic. it’s a little slow burn because i wanted to spend some more time exploring their relationship and the groundwork for it, so yeah. i’ll try to update it regularly, but since i’ve only planned five parts for sanguine, it might take a while bc i want to take my time with it. if you want to stay updated with the series, i’ll post the masterlist to it shortly! i do hope you enjoy it though :) and stay safe, everybody! [tagging @sukirichi​ the sukuna to my yuuji, who just gets spammed when i start rambling about my aus but always screams with me (´• ω •`)]
masterlist - next 
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"y/n!" you look up to see miwa storming towards you, thrusting a book in your direction. "could you- could you please give this to noritoshi? i borrowed this book from him like a week ago and if i don't return this anytime soon, i think he's gonna kill me." 
scowling at her, you look at the book in disdain. you wanted to avoid crossing paths with noritoshi as much as possible and miwa was well aware that you didn't like hi- 
"please," miwa pleaded again, taking your hands and placing the book in it. "i'm really scared of him. he always looks like he's going to shoot me soon. even todo is pretty nice if you don't interrupt his takada-chan time!" 
you sighed in annoyance, you just couldn't say no. ever since coming to the kyoto metropolitan curse tech, miwa and you had been pretty close because you strongly disliked the other students. most of them were arrogant and stuck-up, thinking they were better than the other; the two that belonged to the three clans were even worse. on your first day here you'd promptly gotten into a fight with mai, disliking how haughty she was and trying to prove everyone that she was better than them. much to your chagrin, the fight ended in a tie.
"fine, but you owe me some mango," miwa's face lit up in relief and she gave you a thumbs up before dashing to her room, most likely to escape noritoshi's wrath. you inspected the book. was it even worth returning it? maybe you could just throw it in the trash. if noritoshi ever found out, he'd kill miwa first and then you. you let out another sigh before making your way towards the training grounds. he most likely was outside to practice, either with one of the guys or alone. as you were nearing the training grounds, you could already hear the sound of arrows whistling and the dull thuds of them hitting the target. it was hard to spot him through all the trees; you weren't entirely sure where he was. your ears perked up when you heard him release another arrow until you realized that it was heading your way. this bastard. fortunately, you were able to slash the arrow clean in the middle, angrily pointing your sword in his direction. you still couldn't see him anywhere.
"you fucking idiot! you could've killed me," you snarled, stomping deeper into the forest. an amused laugh echoed through the trees. 
"you're acting like i can't control my arrows. it's not my fault you let your guard down," noritoshi retorted smugly, lowering his bow as he saw you approaching. you were fuming, hurling the book at him. how dare he? you watched with satisfaction as it hit him square in the chest - who was caught off guard now, huh? he deserved it anyways. 
"miwa asked me to return your book," you curtly explained and turned back around to leave but apparently, noritoshi had other plans. instead of saying anything else, he just followed you which unsettled you even more. 
"stop following me." 
"who said i was following you? i'm just going back to the dorms. i'm sorry you can't handle me being near you."
you whirled around, sword pointing dangerously close to his neck. he smirked at you triumphantly, it was just too easy to get a rouse out of you. "another word and i'll cut you, seriously. you're pissing me off," you gritted your teeth, hating that you always fell for his stupid games. he knew you all to well, what made you angry, what made you happy, what motivated you. once upon a time, you'd thought the same about him; until he changed so rapidly, so unlike your expectations. you were worlds apart and yet you'd reserved an ounce of hope that he wouldn't turn out to be as arrogant as the clan heads. swift as the wind, noritoshi grabbed your wrist, dragging it upwards and towards him until he could lean down to you. your heartbeat sped up - holy shit why was he so close to you - and you froze in shock. 
"i'd like to see you try, princess," he whispered in your ear, the grip on your wrist tightening. "you wouldn't dare to."
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the first time you met noritoshi, he was sitting outside in the garden with his mum. both seemed to have a good time. noritoshi's hair was tousled from the soft summer breeze and he had a soft smile on his face, happily munching away on the snacks that were displayed on the table. while he looked friendly enough, you were wary of meeting and talking to him because you felt kind of queasy around the kamo family. you couldn’t quite place a finger on the feeling, the older members of the family intimidating you to no end. much to your dismay, you felt like you had to be watchful - your parents worked for the kamo family, so naturally the apartment you lived in was close to the estate. you avoided any run ins with the adults, they weren’t exactly friendly to you. noritoshi’s mum had befriended your mum and they spent a lot of time together when possible. and yet you’d never met noritoshi before, seeing how busy he was with his various classes.
the fit that you threw, not wanting to tag along with your mum, was long forgotten when you’d spotted the jar of cookies on the table. before your mum could react, you pulled your hand away from hers and quickly ran towards it. “hello miss!” you greeted enthusiastically, your eyes shining at the sight of the sweets. “my name is y/n! i’m here with my mum and i uhm… could i have some of the cookies? please?” when your mum finally caught up to you, she scolded you quietly and greeted the other two, taking a seat beside noritoshi’s mum. you pouted, immediately climbing on her lap as you refused to sit next to the boy. his mum handed you a cookie which you happily took and thanked her politely. noritoshi was curiously eyeing you; it wasn’t often that he saw other children around his age and he didn’t have any friends to play with. his everyday life revolved around reading books, studying, taking archery classes and sometimes spending time with his mum. noritoshi barely even knew what fun was - he’d only ever felt at peace when he was around his mum.
“y/n, sweetie, why don’t you go and play with noritoshi?” your mum prompted but you immediately shook your head, hiding your face in her chest. she simply laughed and shook her head, brushing your hair back softly. “come on, noritoshi is really nice. you can be his friend one day, right? didn’t i tell you that friends are important?” 
you frowned. then huffed. when she worded it like this, there was no way you could refuse. the cartoon that you religiously watched featured a group of friends that went on adventures and helped each other out. you’d told your mum that you wanted to be like that too! begrudgingly, you slid off her lap and trudged towards noritoshi who looked at you with big eyes. you held your hand out, waiting for him to shake it. “my name is y/n. uhm… nice to meet you,” you shyly whispered, eyes darting away from him. 
it took a while until noritoshi reacted, shaking your hand gently and answering: “hello y/n, i’m noritoshi.”
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much to your surprise, noritoshi was actually fun to be around with. he showed you his collection of books, the bow that he was practicing with and you often played the card game you’d received for your birthday together. he was smart and witty, often explaining you things that he’d read in a book but he was also attentive when he listened to you ramble about the other kids in school or when you told him about the cartoon that you were watching. for you, noritoshi was becoming your best friend - for noritoshi, you were his first friend. he cherished you and how unabashedly true to yourself you were. spending time with you was something he looked forward to; you always made him laugh and you didn’t care whether he lived up to the kamo family name or not. to you, he was simply noritoshi. you were like a fresh breeze of air in his life.
noritoshi didn't quite understand why the elders were always so hard on him, so strict and unrelenting. they expected only the best results from him and didn't show any understanding when he exhausted. he didn't enjoy practice anymore, the lessons becoming a chore and burden on his mind. but whenever he saw your face light up at his newly acquired skills, he thought it was worth the trouble. you came to visit him everyday after school, never skipping a day. sometimes he questioned why you weren't visiting your friends from school but you shook your head, poking his chest indignantly. "you're my best friend, 'toshi. of course i'd want to spend more time with you." noritoshi was glad you always chose him, without fail.
even though your parents had always warned you to be careful around noritoshi because his family was strict and didn't like outside influences distracting the heir, you never really strayed from his side. noritoshi didn't have any other friends, who would keep him company or listen to his troubles then? you didn't understand why your parents were suddenly going back on their word. they'd always told you that family and friends were important. you couldn't pinpoint your feelings for him - but your parents saw it. it was obvious; the stars in your eyes when you looked at him, the slight blush on your cheeks when he complimented you and how happy you were when you got to spend time with him. the more time you spent with him, the more they were worried for you. 
"'toshi!" you yelled in excitement as you ran towards him, waving wildly. he dropped his bow and turned to you, a soft smile gracing his lips as he opened his arms to hug you. you squeezed him tightly. two weeks you hadn't seen him due to a school trip after which you got sick and weren't able to leave the house. you'd missed him a lot and you were excited to show him the souvenirs you brought him. 
"look, i bought you an omamori!" you handed him the small object, then pointing on your bag to show him the one you'd bought for yourself. "i got myself a matching one too! my teacher said it wards off evil spirits and brings you luck." noritoshi's smile was bright, so bright. he was happy you thought of him and were always kind to him. your eyes widened as he leaned in to kiss your cheek before thanking you. the two of you were blushing, neither saying a word but not minding what had just happened.
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the day noritoshi's mother left the estate was the day you were slowly starting to lose him. noritoshi grew more forlorn and didn't seem to easily find joy in anything anymore. the departure left a deep, deep gap in his heart. it had shocked him deep to the core when she left him. him. why couldn't she stay? why did she leave him when she was the only person who protected him, loved him? she did say that she was hindering his growth but who was she to decide that? he didn't want to become stronger, didn't want to protect other people like she'd told him to. he wanted to stay with her. "'toshi? 'toshi!" a concerned voice broke through his trance, pulling him back into reality. "i asked you a question! you weren't even listening to me." 
you were pouting at him, tugging at his sleeve impatiently. noritoshi apologized, patting your head to soothe your temper. "what do you want to do in the future? mum said it's important to work towards your dreams!" you asked him curiously, grasping his hand to hold it. the gesture filled him with indescribable warmth, drawing him in like a moth to the flames. "my mum said i have a special power, i can heal people! i want to become a doctor in the future, so i can help everyone that got hurt," you explained to him so earnestly that he felt bad for the lie he was about to tell. noritoshi didn't have big dreams or ambitions just yet. he didn't even know what would be suitable to him - he was strictly following orders, never allowed to think for himself. 
but when he looked at you, he only had one wish. "i think… i think i want to help people, protect them. especially those that i love."
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with each year passing, you noticed that noritoshi was putting more and more distance between the two of you. at first you'd brushed it off as the stress of his training and number of classes he was attending. but as you spent less and less time together, the weight of the situation didn’t escape you. he was easily irritable, cold and arrogant, often rude towards employees of the kamo estate. every now and then when you’d scold him for being an asshole, he’d simply scoff at you and haughtily ask you how it was any of your business. you sighed, tossing and turning in your bed as you thought about how much noritoshi had changed. it kept you up at night, just thinking about how he wasn’t your ‘toshi anymore. you didn’t know this person. ‘toshi was always gentle and kind, he tended to overthink many things and sometimes he was a little bit of a crybaby but you still loved him regardless. you sneaked out of your room, finally mustering up enough courage to ask your mother for advice. the thought of her discovering your blooming crush on noritoshi was scaring you. your parents were wary around the kamos despite working from them - even more so ever since noritoshi’s mother left and the elders had free reign over her son.
“noritoshi! noritoshi, stop walking away from me! hey, i’m talking to you!” you yelled frustrated as you were trying to keep up with him. noritoshi was crossing the garden in long strides, it was nearly impossible to stop him as you couldn’t catch up to him. you lunged forward, getting hold of his sleeve and tugged him back harshly. noritoshi yanked his arm out of your grip, glaring at you annoyed. 
“what do you want from me? i have better things to do than to quibble with you,” he hissed irritated. you couldn’t believe him, he had the nerve to dismiss you like this when he was in the wrong? 
“you know exactly what i want from you! you can’t just go around and talk to people like you did before just because they’re not from a reputable family! noritoshi, you’re not any better than them just because your last name is kamo.”
as much as noritoshi scared you, you stood your ground. you knew he didn’t take you serious, not with the amused look he gave you. in the past month or two, noritoshi was suddenly hit by a growth spurt - you barely reached his shoulder now and he took advantage of that to mock you, often treating you like an armrest. he pat your head condescendingly, pouting at you in fake regret. “aw, did i hurt your feelings? did i make itty bitty little y/n sad?” he mocked you, before abruptly grabbing your cheeks to make you look at him. “i don’t care what you think of me, cry all you want. i strongly suggest you hold that sharp tongue of yours if you know what’s good. know your place.” 
tears filled your eyes; noritoshi had never talked to you this way. what has gotten into him? your heart broke in pieces, unable to take the pain any longer. you were no longer his equal but below him, much like everyone else.
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“mum?” you cautiously knocked at the door of her study, waiting for her response. your mother was most likely still awake and dealing with paperwork like she usually did. upon hearing the affirmative noise she made, you flitted inside, closing the door behind you so your father didn’t catch any wind of this. it was already embarrassing enough and you were sure your mother could offer you better advice. you gingerly took a seat on the armchair, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to your body. how were you going to approach this? hey mum, i have a crush on noritoshi and he’s weird to me now and i don’t know why? uh yeah mum, i caught feelings for the guy you warned me about and now i look like a fool crawling up to you like this? 
“it’s about noritoshi, isn’t it?” your mother interrupted your stream of thought, spinning her swivel chair towards you. 
“huh? oh no it isn’t, why would it be? i have-” 
“y/n.” 
“ugh okay fine, maybe it is about him,” you sighed defeated, of course she would look right through you. she always seemed to know what you were thinking, even when you hadn’t confided in her before. “but promise me you won’t judge me!” the look in your mother’s eyes told you that she was going to judge you regardless but you knew she meant well - she simply wanted the best for you.
“i- i just don’t understand why he’s been such a pain in the ass lately. and he’s been treating everyone like dirt too, including me! mum, he’s becoming someone else and i… i don’t know what to do,” you sniffled inconsolably, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. she wasn’t supposed to see you getting emotional. “he’s always busy and when we do get to see each other, he doesn’t want to spend time with me. what if he doesn’t like me anymore? and i don’t like how he’s treating you! it’s the same issue with the elders, they don’t know any human decency at all!” 
your mother motioned you to scoot over a little and sat next to you, wrapping her arms around you and patting your back to console you. while she meant well, it accomplished the opposite - you broke down in tears, unable to stop your sobs. “i just want my ‘toshi back,” you whimpered upset, burying your face in the pillow to muffle the sound of you crying. “i know you didn’t like that i became good friends with him but i couldn’t help it and i just really like him and- you weren’t supposed to find that out.”
“sweetheart, i know you love noritoshi,” she handed you a tissue. “you let a lot more on than you were aware of; dad and me always knew you were in love with him.” as if on cue, your sobbing stopped and you just looked at her in disbelief. she knew. she knew. you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. “i think it was always pretty obvious, to be honest. you always looked at him as if he was your entire world and no matter what happened, you were always by his side. i know it’s hard to accept when a dear friend is changing but sometimes you just have to, right? both of you are still growing, there’s no way of telling how your personalities change.”
“but i don’t want him to change like this,” you protested stubbornly, glaring at her. she was talking about it as if it was a matter of simply discarding a bad apple in the trash. it wasn’t easy and it made you anxious. you grew up together, shared secrets and memories. he was the person you’d always looked up to.
“y/n.” your mother sounded stern but you didn’t back down, not yet. “is it really worth it? if a person is changing so rapidly and you’re not getting through to them, you’ll have to let it go. there’s only so much you can do. people grow apart sometimes, it’s only natural. you have to let go of them, temporarily, so you both can heal and grow. y/n, i know you’re being stubborn about this but you’ll have to let him figure things out on his own. fate has curious ways to bring people back together.”
when the time came, noritoshi left to attend the kyoto metropolitan curse tech school without telling you a word. you were disappointed, apparently you weren’t worth saying goodbye to. whatever his reason was, it must’ve been pretty important. important enough to forget the promise that you’d always stay in contact. you wondered whether he'd change again, for the better maybe? maybe you would reconcile when you could finally attend the school as well and train together. you were excited to show him your sword skills, having received your family's heirloom, an elegant steel blue sword. though your skills probably weren’t up to par with the other students, you still wanted to show them off, show him what you’d learned in the year that you spent apart.
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noritoshi had changed but not for the better. holy shit, did he get on your nerves. the first time he'd practiced with you, you realized that he had mutated into an insufferable know-it-all. he would give you backhanded compliments or make snide remarks about your posture, how you were supposed to hold your sword, how inefficient your fighting style was. sometimes you wished you could just beat him for once and have him shut up. there was no denying though, noritoshi was way too strong and you had a long way to go. judging from the reactions of the others, barely anyone had beat him either. 
and just like that, your feelings for him were buried. you’d taken your mother’s advice to heart, keeping conversations and interactions with him to a minimum but somehow noritoshi always found his way to you. he was everywhere and a quarrel was inevitable. noritoshi got under your skin and he knew how to push your buttons. why he chose to pick on you was beyond your comprehension; he didn’t pay much attention to the other students nor was he particularly liked by them. just how much was he going to get on everyone else’s nerves? out of all the second years, todo aoi was the most amicable; you had the (dis)pleasure to run into him on your first day and for some reason, he took a liking to you. while he was loud and boisterous, mostly doing whatever he wanted, you couldn’t deny that he was a good friend. even though he didn’t care about anyone as much as he cared about takada-chan. at one point, he’d looked at you in sympathy when he caught you staring at noritoshi, patting your shoulder (too forceful): “i’m sorry, y/n, i’m so sorry.” 
you still didn’t know what he meant by that.
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ps.: todo knows and he’s kinda judging you for your taste in men 
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wastelandcth · 4 years ago
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In the Mountains - cth
summary: who would've thought hiking with the boys would have ended up being so eventful? as the fifth member of 5sos with a crush on a certain bass player, you’re about to find out. 
author’s notes: thanks to @calumspupils for sending this request in! I hope you enjoy it!
masterlist || request
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You didn't really know how you'd gotten to this point in your life. How you had ended up in a band with four people you'd give the world to, it all still seemed like a fever dream. Most mornings you'd wake up either on a tour bus or in a hotel room miles from home wondering if this was your real-life and it wasn't until you were sat at breakfast with your bandmates that you realized how grateful you were for the twists and turns that had led to your crazy life.
Some days you'd play shows and feel like you were on top of the world, rocking out on stage with your best friends. Some nights the views from the airplanes you'd grown used to being on took your breath away for so long you were afraid you'd actually imagined it all. That all the cameras flashing and fans screaming out lyrics you'd written with the four guys on stage next to you were a figment of your imagination and you'd wake up one day to find it all gone.
"Hey, I know you don't love hiking but...I'm sure we'll make it fun," Calum's voice rang out in the car, bringing you back to the moment at present, "And I'll be there to tell you all the jokes and point out cool rocks," he said with a wink.
Calum Hood. You'd turned your head to face him, the California sun was hitting his skin and making him glow. His bright smile adorning his face as the sunglasses he was wearing slid down his nose to reveal those brown eyes you'd fallen for. His soft voice and gentle teasing bringing warmth to your stomach that always seem to linger whenever you two were alone. It was something that you thought you'd kept to yourself, a little secret, but the comments online only left you a blushing mess.
If you were being honest, you'd been in love with Calum since the first months you'd spent with the band, getting to know each other and making sure you'd be a good fit into the group. those weeks had been filled with outings together where all five of you would spend hours on end telling stories about growing up and then laughing over how the internet blew up when they introduced you to their fanbase. But those few weeks were also spent trying your best to not make a fool of yourself in front of Calum, who seemed to always be at the right place whenever you stumbled or when your voice would crack while you were practicing alone.
You two had clicked instantly, both stuck to each other's hip as you took on the world. You'd write together, spending hours on a couch drafting out possible songs and humming along to tracks that had potential in matching the band's sound. You'd even become neighbors at one point when you'd first moved into the city to be closer for band work. He'd helped you move into the apartment next to his and you'd spent many weekends at each other's place, laughing over the awkward silences when you'd both caught each other glancing for a few seconds too long.
So you were in love with your bandmate, your best friend, with Calum Hood. How bad could it be?
Apparently, very bad. You and Calum had never been the subtle type and although you both pretty much knew there was more than friendship between you two, no one made a move to make it more. Ashton had asked you once when you two had gone out for lunch after a studio session.
"I just can't understand why you two haven't already gotten over it and got together. You'd thought about it, he's thought about it. Just do it," Ashton huffed, shaking his head as he watched you tense up and shake your head.
"The band is what's important, Ash. We can't let our feelings get in the way of fucking up what all five of us have created. He knows that and I do too," you'd replied, laughing quietly as Ashton only shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.
But Ashton was always one to try and make others happy in his own special way. And that's how you found yourself in the car with Calum on the way out of the city for a hike you were less than excited about. You knew Ashton was up to something when he'd texted the group saying that you and Calum would have to drive to the trail together since you wouldn't fit in his car with Luke, Mike, and their partners. As a form of payback, you'd purposefully told Calum to pick you up thirty minutes after the original time to make sure you were the last ones to get there because there was nothing more than Ashton hated than being late. And that's how you found yourself driving out of the city with Calum, lost in your own head over how beautiful he looked.
"Mhm, you always make things fun," you chuckled and winked back at him, "We're gonna need it especially now that we're late and Ashton will definitely kill us."
The hike had gone surprisingly good considering three of you were not the most athletics and Luke and Michael had constantly been racing seeing who could go the farthest faster. Ashton had tried his best to keep everyone on track until you and Calum had teased him about being the mom friend as he'd set up his phone on a rock to shoot an update video for fans to let them know about the band had been up to. It had all been going according to plan until you moved closer to Calum and twisted your ankle, ending up on the floor staring up at the blue sky.
"Oh my god, I'm going to die. Just leave me here to die because I'm not making it," you cried out, "This is the end of me!"
In a matter of seconds since your back had hit the ground, four familiar faces hovered above you, one of them looking more concerned than the others. The pain shot through your spine and down your leg, your eyes closing as you tried to stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. Soon enough you found yourself being lifted up from the ground and a warm body pressed against your back. You could hear all the guys fighting over what to do, which meant your ankle wasn't twisted backward since none of them had screamed or puked their guts out. Their voices all mumbled into one as you breathed through the pain and it wasn't until Calum's warm breath was hitting your ear that you felt yourself take a deep breath in and open your eyes.
"I'm gonna stay here with you until Ash and the others can get a ranger to bring a car or something like that, okay?" he mumbled softly, his hand rubbing at your back as he helped you sit back against a rock.
"Please don't let my leg fall off, I need it to run on stage and to kick Michael when he steals my food," you whined.
"That's not gonna happen, okay? I think you just twisted it and it's all going to be okay, sweet girl," Calum mumbled and kissed your forehead, "Promise."
The sun was still high in the sky by the time you started thinking Ashton had left you both in the desert. You'd both been sitting on the ground together, watching as  your ankle grew and grew in size as the time passed by. The pain had dulled and your head was resting on his shoulder when your brain had started to think of the worst.
"You know, this wouldn't have happened if you were Australian. Us Aussies are known for our athleticism," Calum chuckled as he nudged your side with his elbow, "It's a well-known fact."
"I can do a better Australian accent than all four of you," you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you smacked his thigh, "And I can outrun pretty much all of you except Ash."
"Except right now."
"Calum Hood, I swear if you don't stop making fun of me-"
"What? Are you gonna hit me again? I dare you-"
You don't know what came over you. Maybe it was the heat of the sun beaming down on you both. Or maybe the fact that you were thirsty since Michael had taken the only backpack with water with him before you two realized it but Calum's lips looked very nice and it took no self-restraint for you to lean in and stop him mid-sentence.
"Maybe you should twist your ankle more often, huh?" Calum chuckled as you both pulled away, "Or bully you more often."
"Shut up and kiss me again, idiot," you laughed and pulled him back in for another kiss.
"Who knew all I had to do was get you two alone on a hiking trail for you to finally kiss, huh?" Ashton's chuckled made you both pull away, making you both look like a deer caught in headlights.
"Oh shut up, I'm never going on a hike with any of you again," you huffed and gratefully took the park ranger’s hand as he helped you on to what looked like a golf car.
It was a short trip back to the medical center, where they treated your very swollen ankle with ice while you downed all the water you could get your hands on. But you were grateful that Calum hadn't left your side once, his hand in yours as you squeezed it whenever you'd hit a bump or when the park ranger wrapped your ankle. His hand was still in yours as you both drove back to the city and it never left yours even when you both laid on the couch in his living room that night, drifting off in each other's company for once accepting that maybe, just maybe, this could be more than just stolen glances.
taglist: @hoodhoran @finelliine @moonlightcriess @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver @calpops @karajaynetoday @notlukehemmo @calumrose @devilatmydoor @lyss-xo @lowkeyflop  @hemmo1996-5sosvevo @myloverboyash @notinthesameguey
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blackcherrykiss · 4 years ago
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BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.7)
[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4] [CH.5] [CH.6] previous chapters
[CH.8.] next chapter (unavailable, check back or follow for updates!)
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You fell into a distrustful panic that night now that knew the screams of the woods were also where Jungwon and his friends lived. You weren't sure if you should be scared for those group of boys or be scared of them. You'd be lying to yourself if you tried to believe it was only a coincidence the boys had a place in the forest of violent cries.
You questioned your sanity, were they murderers? Was that their dirty secret?
Your conclusions were endlessly dark, repeating themselves countlessly. You had never wanted to sleep away your thoughts more than ever. Eventually, you got exhausted from your thoughts. It was mentally draining to try and tear apart the possibilities of the situation, you didn't have enough evidence to be so sure. You lay in a cold sweat as you drifted off into a deep but horrible sleep.
You dreamt in full awareness. The boys with blood spilling down their hands and onto their swan white clothes. A red mess everywhere on the cream walls of an orphanage that overflowed with rays of a full moon. Although you were scared of what you were witnessing, you could not wake up even if your life depended on it. It seemed as if the dream had sped up your sleep as you woke in what felt like a few seconds. Calmly, you awoke in the misty autumn morning in a crushed up pile of blankets. You sit up to peel your wispy curtains away from the window to get a good look at the dark forest that steamed with a muddy blue fog. All of the memories of Jungwon yelling at you for just being near the woods flooded your brain as you stared. This time you were determined to search deep into that forest and get to the bottom of its mysteries as it called out to you.
"Y/N I think you're going to be late for your first class." Nana knocked before bursting into your room in full uniform, not a wrinkle on her shirt.
"Y-you're already ready? What time is it?!" You glanced back and forth between your pyjamas and uniform that draped over a random stool as you were too lazy to fold nicely the night before.
"We didn't want to wake you... So we went ahead thinking you'd come down eventually." She yanked you out of bed, gripping your forearms tightly before backing out the door, "Don't be late! We promised we'd keep out of detention this year!"
Within a blink of an eye, you slip into your uniform, slinking your arms through the holes of your blouse and adjusting your legs to be cover by your ashy plaid skirt. With your bag and binder in hand, you sprinted across your campus to the gymnasium where you found yourself arriving, everyone already in the proper athletic attire.
"You're late."  Your health teacher grit her teeth in visible disappointment. Your teacher knew how unlike you it was to be late as your classmate's eyes followed your every movement.
"P-pardon me." You clawed your fingers through your bedhead, speeding to the change room, nervous she'd assign you detention.
You let out the deep breath you were holding in as you got into the empty locker room, frustrated at yourself for waking up so late. You can't help but feel upset that you let your thoughts get the best of you and ruin your perfect attendance. Truly you were ashamed but began to see no point in continuing to rush the pace at which your day was running.
The locker room door opens and you see Kyungeun peep herself inside, "Y/N? You alright?"
You pull your boxy shirt flat down, zipping and tying every spot on your tracksuit jacket, "Yeah, sorry rough morning..."
"No worries, I just said that I had to go to the bathroom but I really just wanted to check on you." She had a motherly sound to her voice which comforted your bad start to the day. Perhaps she was in a good enough mood for you to ask her briefly about her relationship with Sunghoon.
"Kyungeun, I think I need to just clear the air... I saw you with Sunghoon in the library." You tilted your head in regret as to whether or not you were starting off the conversation in the right direction.
"Y-you saw us???" Her face drained to an unrealistic hue, "Lord... Sunghoon will kill me if he finds out you know."
"Stop! What do you mean? He'll kill you? Is it because I know that you two are dating?"
"NO! Nevermind then!" She cut you off right after the question mark in your voice. She looked rather relieved at your response which could only mean their relationship was much different than you had presumed. "I just can't tell you about our relationship I'm s-sorry it's between just us two."
"So then it's okay for him to flirt with my roommate?"
"No? Are you serious right now ?!" Kyungeun panicked.
"So you are dating?" You gave a smug smile.
"It's not that..." She was visibly frustrated not being able to describe herself in words, "I'll tell you this, I'm bound to him..." She ran her index finger along the reddened gash on her neck  He's blackmailing me."
"So you're like his pet?" You held in your laughter, you knew you should be more serious but you had no other way of trying to help Kyungeun express the gist of her relationship.
"I'll tell you another day...  Let's just go before the teacher gets mad at you for taking so long to change."
...
After your class full of advanced leg exercises and mediocrely fun games, you got halted by your gym teacher, "Y/N can we speak about how tardy you were today?"
You got fearful of her sentencing you detention, freezing up from your heel upwards, "I'm so sorry, I just had a lot going on last night..."
"Sweetie, I know this is your first late in my class but unfortunately the school does not tolerate tardiness in the way I believe it should be." She tapped her chin a few times, "I have no other choice but to send you to detention but it'll just be a half-hour at lunch." You felt better that it wasn't for a full hour or two after school but you were still dreading the idea.
"Can't you just let me off the hook? I promise it'll never happen again" You pleaded desperately.
"I'm afraid I cannot... If the other teachers or students knew you didn't get sent to detention I could get into trouble for giving you 'special treatment'. I know you didn't mean to love but I cannot afford to lose my job so I'll see you then." She patted one of your shoulders, giving it a little squeeze to cheer you up.
"I understand..." You nod with your head that already hung low.
"It's in the English room down the hall, there is usually only a few students there. Some familiar faces."
...
That rest of your morning would only pull through faster as you got some weird anxiety over walking into the detention room. You could not concentrate at all in the class you had before lunch. You felt as if you were too good for the detention group of kids, but here you were about to join those you criticized. Karma.
"Make sure to answer the questions 8-16 on page 300, you have the rest of the class to do so. Any questions?" Your physics teacher stood with his hands balled up behind his back.
Realizing you had no physics book in your bag after triple checking, you shot your arm up in distress, "ME! I forgot my textbook today... I was in a rush this morning." You faked a polite laugh with the expectation your teacher would have a spare.
"I'm afraid I don't have an extra, anyone willing to share?" The teacher lifted his head to scan the class.
"I could share." Jaeyun winked making your face recoil
"Perfect! You'll probably have to move your stuff to his seat then." Your teacher suggested.
With a thick coat of disappointment, you pulled a chair up to Jaeyun's desk to which he kneed you annoyingly.
Within just a few seconds of settling down, you complained "How the hell am I supposed to write? There is no space... Desks are made for ONE person."
"Okay then don't use my textbook and fall behind" He sneered.
"Wait wait, I just had the greatest idea Jaeyun." He gave you puppy eyes when you said his name, "What if you look for half the answers I do the other half then exchange?" You whispered so the teacher could hear.
"I can't trust you make good answers though..." He jokingly sighed.
"HEY! Okay or work together for every question to get it done twice as fast? Oh wait but then I'll be the one carrying the team... Bummer..." You stretched the corners of your mouth until your lips disappeared.
"I honestly don't feel like doing work so lose-lose." He pouted and rolled his eyes.
"Same... I can't even focus, I'm having a rough morning..." You openly admitted, "I got sent to detention for being late in my first class."
"Detention? Didn't think you were the type." Jaeyun had an unexpectedly sweet giggle which contrasted with his lower tone voice, "Heeseung and Sunghoon get sent often, surprised they aren't kicked out of the school."
"They get sent often?!" Your voice rose to which you quickly quieted down to avoid trouble, "Will I see them there?"
"Why? Looking forward to going now?" Jaeyun whispered with a grin, causing you to scoff.
"As if..." A sudden idea coming to mind, "Say Jaeyun... About the party... Heard you guys have a place in the woods...?" You became aware that you could pry some information out of him that would help you when searching the woods that night.
"Yeah, we do... We don't normally tell people about it." He said casually yet still with some sort of caution.
"So why tell us then?"
"Haven't had any visitors in a while..." Jaeyun toyed with his mechanical pencil, using the plastic part to trace around his lips, "Awfully interested aren't you?" He seemed to have caught on to your intentions, shifting the mood of the conversation around in a full 180.
Suddenly the dream you had earlier slipped into mind, causing you to sit in growing discomfort, "What do you want from my friends and I?"
"Nothing sweetheart... We're more interested in you than your dormmates. You look like someone we know." He laughed like a psycho and it creeped you out how the two of you were just poking lighthearted jokes to something much darker and mysterious, "I know you're afraid of us, you know far more than most girls." His voice dropped to a whisper as he watched the teacher behind you to make sure he didn't see the both of you slacking.
"Kyungeun knows your secrets too she said she'll tell me."
"She's acting like we don't know her secrets." Jaeyun closed his textbook, "Y/N just remember this, Kyungeun is half as bad as we are and half as pure as you are."
"Alright class, that's it for today's class. This textbook assignment won't be due until Friday have a good lunch." The teacher interrupted, causing your conversation with Jaeyun to end on a hanging note.
"Good luck with detention."Jaeyun hushed in your ear.
_______________
p.s, i changed the cover lol don’t make fun of my photoshop skills!
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boomerang109 · 3 years ago
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Now I want to read your dadkoda stuff 😩 more words, they don’t have to be dadkoda if you don’t want, but awake, beg, wall
anon this ask made me so excited and tumblr just refused to let me answer it on my phone? it deleted my response four times? so let's see if this works on my computer?
also!! i'm still working on the dadkoda oneshots, but wwda does have (or will if it doesn't already, idek what's been posted yet lol) dadkoda, so i def recommend that! i am the slow af to update, but i promise it's not abandoned
okay, back to the ask game!! which i'm putting under a read more cause it gets long (but lowkey it's actually cute so i do recommend reading)
awake is a zukka moment from wwda:
Listening to Sokka’s deep breathing, Zuko forced his breath to line up with his deep inhales and noisy exhales. Even without being awake, Sokka was providing him comfort. Eventually, with his breathing slowed, Zuko was able to drift back to sleep.
beg(ging) is from one of my generic dadkoda wips (that's just it's name cause it's typical after boiling rock set-up, hopefully it won't be super generic lol):
Katara kneeled and brought her glowing hands to rest in Zuko’s hair.
When the cold touched him, a tremor went through the prince’s body. He stopped muttering, but didn't move until Katara finished.
When she moved, he sat up slowly and locked eyes with Hakoda. “I think--” he paused, to take a breath, “I think I forgot where I was for a moment.” He attempted a smile, but Hakoda had never seen the boy look more pained (including only moments before when he had been bashed in the head). “Old habits,” his laugh was slightly more convincing. Barely.
“Old habits?” Hakoda repeated, the implied, ‘of begging to the Firelord?,’ went unspoken.
Zuko pushed himself up, surprising everyone, but most of all Katara. He smiled down at Hakoda. “I left home for personal reasons too.” Hakoda watched him go in silence.
and my favorite is this wwda scene!! (legit i'm so excited for this scene, but sadly i have to cut out before my fave part) for wall:
He vaguely heard a voice, a male voice, complaining. At first he could only discern the tone--angry--through the wall. But as the voice raised, he distinctly heard “I’m going to kill that asshole!”
Zuko didn’t hear anything after that--didn’t hear Hakoda hushing and calming his boyfriend--because he had pulled himself underneath the bed. He moved to the center of the bed in as small a shape as he could manage. His breath shook as he cried as quietly as possible. He was positive that he was going to be killed. In his panic he wasn’t sure why and he wasn’t even sure who. Was it his father who’d gotten angry? What had he done this time? He didn’t mean to--he never meant to.
A knock on the door. Zuko took a gulp of air and held his breath.
“Zuko?” To his fear-addled brain the masculine voice was his father’s. He knew it was only a matter of moments until a boot kicked under the bed. But maybe if he was small enough, if he was quiet enough, maybe Ozai wouldn’t notice him. “Where’d you go?”
He heard the door of the bathroom open and the closet. He was getting light-headed, so almost involuntarily he took a gulp of air.
“Zuko?” the socked feet--why was father in socks?--came closer to the edge of the bed. A face came into view as the man leaned to peer under the bed. “Zuko, why are you under the bed?”
He needed to apologize, for whatever it was he’d done. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t being hauled out from under the bed, but he needed to apologize before his father changed his mind. He needed to speak, but he couldn’t breathe. He was taking breaths but no air was reaching his lungs.
“Are you okay?” He tried to slow his breathing, desperately tried to take big, slow breaths. But all he could think of was pain and anger.
“It can’t be comfortable down there. Can you come out?”
The man crouched and began to offer a hand to Zuko. He jerked backwards, cramming himself head first against the wall. The man sighed, although oddly he sounded sad, not disappointed. “I’m going to go over here,” he went against the opposite wall. “I’m not going to hurt you. Just--just focus on your breath. You don’t have to come back out until you’re ready.”
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sometime-in-1995 · 4 years ago
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You're telling me, Seungho's been drinking all night racking his brain analyzing this strange and yet so poignant feelings he has for Nakyum while Nakyum was sleeping? Like, he just sat there, drank all the leftover alcohols and probably inhaled all the leftover opiums? He obviously didn't know how to deal or what to do with his feelings. He's like in panic and yet just stands there doing whatnot.
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Nakyum literally just woke up after a circus of a night and the first thing he sees is Seungho being defeated by his feelings, drunk and dazed. And the first thing he hears is Seungho confessing all the the truths he has tried to suppress.
I really didn't expect that we'd actually get Seungho to confess all his frustrations and worries in this week's chapter update. I'm literally baffled and at awe. We barely or even never get to see or hear his emotions out and loud in the open. As a reader, I personally didn't know how to deal with him being open. I literally had to pause every after each panel to hold my chest because it's aching or cover my mouth 'coz hearing him say those words is too surreal.
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Fucking Deokjae! 😡 I know you're dead but I'm still cursing you for twisting my precious Nakyum's hand! 😭💔 If his wrist won't work like it used to be and deter his painting, Imma dig your grave and kill you again 😭
My precious son, please, go get that hand treated. I'm so worried 😭💔
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None of us know what Seungho went through yet for him to turn out the way he is right now and for him to even think of committing murder & suicide. Although whatever happened to him is still not a valid reason to justify what he did to Nakyum, I wasn't ready to hear that coming from him. It's like a scream for help. He's been desperately trying to kill the bugging feeling inside by living in debauchery but still to no avail. Maybe, if there's anything I feel for him, it's pity. I feel like hugging him last night while reading. Dammit, I'm such a sucker for men like Seungho 🤦
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The great and mighty Yoon Seungho could actually fall ill, huh. Dude, how can you look so fuckin' hot even when you're sick? You'd expect him to be okay with everything that's happening but we also don't know and understand the mental toll that this turmoil is causing him. The confusion and the frustration he has with having Nakyum around made him recall all the ugly past he've tried to bury by living in debauchery which probably gave him the feeling of superficial freedom and temporary peace.
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The thing is, even Seungho is also denying himself of loving and being loved. If there's anything Seungho & Nakyum has in common, it's self-denial.
Nakyum isn't even mad anymore despite of what they did to him, despite of what he've gone through especially that night. He just no longer have the energy to fight back anymore as if he've given up and surrendered all the authority and consent he has for his own body. He's not mad nor cursing Deokjae for twisting his hand. He just sat there feeling the pain.
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He's not mad that Seungho dragged him to that room, and yet he knows that Seungho shouldn't have done that. He knows that this is not how love should be like, this is not how he should be treated if it's love that Seungho feels. And yet he kept telling himself that it isn't true, he kept denying himself, his worth. At the same time, Nakyum asking the sleeping and sick Seungho if he has feelings for him has a tinge of hope. When Seungho nodded and instinctively and unconsciously rubbed is cheeks into Nakyum's hand, it seemed and felt like an unexpected answer which flustered Nakyum.
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Seungho told himself that he'll only let his body lead, that they don't have to share what's on their mind. It is true, in the middle of his illness and slumber, his body instinctively responded to Nakyum. Nakyum has so much questions and probably Seungho partially confessing to him made things somehow clearer than it did just last night but he isn't the type to just assume things for his own convenience, not after what he experienced with Inhun.
Seungho mentioning the word 'love' is even inconceivable to me. He might not have said it directly but he've implied his jealousy over Inhun. He's jealous as fuck.
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He just wants Nakyum to look at him like the way he looks at Inhun. And it hurts him that he doesn't even after Inhun went away for the Civil Service Exam. What's worse is that he doesn't understand why he's feeling that way when he only brought Nakyum to his residence to be his new plaything. He probably didn't even realize it himself how much he has changed ever since he brought Nakyum into his life not until Min pointed it out to his face. So he tried to resort to his old habits, his old lifestyle, thinking that it'd make things go back to how it used to be and probably it'd also make him feel this superficial freedom and temporary peace once again just like it did before. That one week he tried so hard to avoid Nakyum was to 'save' himself but he ended up ruining his health. He've always been the kind of guy who tries to deal with circumstances all by himself, that he grew so overprotective building those high walls so no one could get in and hurt him. And yet, here comes Nakyum who is unconsciously shaking his walls. Who is as clueless as him. They're both like two little toddlers lost in the dark. Don't know how to articulate what they feel, don't know where to hold to steady there steps towards each other and ended up stumblin' on their way.
Chapter 55 is such a big step into Seungho & Nakyum's development with Seungho opening up about his feelings. The way he did it is still so hazy but still made a bit of release and relief. I just didn't like how Nakyum didn't even have the time and luxury to deal with his own pain but to cater immediately to Seungho's as soon as he woke up from that night. *sigh* When will my precious son see the light of the day for him?
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namjooningelsewhere · 3 years ago
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Hello, Leah! I hope this issue with your blog gets solved soon.
Now onto my commentary....
We have to actually give it to Haeun, you know... The audacity of this woman to just turn up in her 🤢 boyfriends' ex's dms and try to act all high and mighty, with her nice move going out of your way to fiddle with my boyfriends brains 🥴 woman, your boyfriends got no brains, that's why they are with you.. also, yn's been minding her own business! It's your boyfriends that are going out of their way to bring up yn in their life.. your insecurity is showing. I mean, forget everything else, atleast believe in your manipulation skills!
Let's for a second believe that yn is trying make them jealous. Why should it bother you? Why is it bothering you? Shouldn't your boyfriends be the ones who don't get jealous over their ex being shown grand romantic gestures?
Not her saying she should get back together with her ex, like her exes are your current boyfriends... and from the shit that brewed in your chats, I'm sure she can get them back if she tried.. so no, you are no one to be ordering her around.
You think Jack's got a soft spot for yn? What about the your boyfriends beginning to go soft for her?
I'm glad yn went to joon about his girlfriend harassing her, like boy, keep your girl away from yn. I wonder what he'd have said if she didn't send him a screenshot...? Would he believe yn?
Trust Namjoon to ask a simple question and get you completely trapped in your lies 😂 I really want to know what truly happened with Haeun and Yoongi, like why is he always so ready to defend her? That too before anything happened? Chill man, he's not trying to kill her... atleast, not yet.
woman's instinct? Get the words right, Haeun, it's social-climber/fake/user/gold-digger instinct.
And yes hobi-darling, it is stalking. Thank you for pointing that out🤩
It's not accusing if you have concrete proof, Ms. Haeun, and the screenshots are pretty damning.
Hobi, my love asking the right questions again!
I love how out of so much that's happening, what's bothering Jungkook the most is his girlfriend telling his ex to get back with her ex 😂 man is oddly fixated on his ex and his ex's ex.
She texted Namjoon because you wouldn't stop bothering her for no fault of hers, that's why. Keep track of your actions and keep up with their consequences, woman🙄 You sow and you reap, you harrassed her, of course she's gonna fight back somehow.
Kudos to Mr. Yoon-whipped-gi for finally finding something wrong with Haeun's actions and admitting it was low. Great job, sir. Keep the same energy in the future too.
Rethink my decision? Joon, you are not already rethinking it?
I have said this before and I will say it again because I found this fucking funny on the teaser, hobi you won't be the one wringing anyone's neck, its you and your members necks that are going to ger wringed by Mr Jack and Miss Dani (especially you, yoongles)
Also, where was tae while all this went down? His silence is bothering me.. do or say something mister! What are you doing?! Where are you?!
Emiko! I know I'm supposed to hate her, but I oddly like her as a villain. I mean, the minute Haeun texts her about letting her stay over.. this woman is absolutely done😂 What happened now? Like I haven't been in a situation like that, but If my friend asked to stay over when she lives with her boyfriends, I'd be a little more sympathetic and accommodating. I'd be worried about my friend.
And her first reaction to her friend saying her boyfriends are crying over their ex is to ask her friend what she did.. That should simply say lot about Haeun.
Can't believe you are this dumb?
So you did think she was a little dumb 😂 okay, gotchu Emiko.
Who asked you to use your brain? Emi, she didn't use hers, that's why this mess happened.
So, is Emiko the real mastermind behind this elaborate game of theirs?
Damage control.. by creating more damage? Thank goodness you are an idol, Haeun if you worked anywhere damage control was your job description, the world would've ended. So thank you for being in the same industry as the boys!
I really really want to know what Haeun ever did that has Yoongi, the tough nut, like this whipped... Or should I say cracked? crushed? powdered maybe?
Why did she think hobi having an outburst was big?
So, they were thinking why yn let them go do easily? I was wondering if they thought so too.. if they thought it was because yn didn't love them enough and such.. I mean isn't the normal reaction is to expect to fight for love and have drama.. so are they wondering if yn ever loved them? Is that why Jack's over-the-top gesture bothering them so much than normal?
So all this over Haeun getting a little push into the kpop a-listers?!
What if they fall in love with you?
You think too highly about yourself, Haeun😂
That's it from me for this chapter! I'll be looking forward to your next!
Have a nice weekend!
Hey Aksh..
I love your asks, they brighten up my feed:)
Yes that was so uncalled for, the way she thought it was okay to go hound Y/N she has some nerve.
Joon has that aura right I think his one simple question can get someone literally trapped in their own lies. He is looking at this situation as a one single mistake. That's why he still says rethink the situation.
What happened with Yoongi and Ha-eun will be revealed further because this is where this bitch starts laying her trap. So it will be revealed later.
Also, Taes silence has bothered many people, he is going to be in a different headspace and more than his words his actions are going to be speaking louder. It's just a bit away.
So a little spoiler here, Hobi throwing a tantrum was a big deal because Hobi was the last to join the wagon to pursue Ha-eun. He is also the easiest right now to get off the wagon too, Emi is concerned because Hobi might be a loose end.
The question that why did Y/N let go of them so easily without a fight will be revealed later too, because this question is going to drive a member nuts and Y/N herself will answer the question why she let them go. Why she literally handed every thing to Ha-eun over a silver platter.
I hope you like the next updates too:)
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