#akshstudios

[akshstudios]

—a letter from the writer's desk 💌

Hello, everybody!

I know I owe all of you wonderful people an apology 😬 Miss Madam planned for very ambitious stuff and didn't show up for a very long time.. left many of you hanging and ultimately never f-ing delivered on her words 😐

I'm sincerely sorry, you guys 🥺 Thank you to everyone who's been checking on me, and patiently waiting for me even though I've been non-existent on here 🥺 I'll try to do better.

Before we end, I'll fill you in on what's happened in my life —I've just finished first year of my master's programme (it almost killed me, I have to say), I'm starting my second and final year tomorrow. You'll be bored to know of how academics have sucked my soul out, so I digress 🤐

Now, onto nicer parts of my life ✨

Miss Madam found someone who liked her stupid self and actually can handle her mess of a personality 🥺 I actually thought I'd die a single-pringle 😂 but your girl got a ✨boyfriend ✨ but more on this some other day 🤭

I also managed to finally get a laptop and I think I'll get back to writing sooner. I also have an writing instagram account theunprettypink where I sometimes write poems, if you can call that.. mostly in stories, so they are technically in highlights. You can follow me on there, if you'd like.

I'm currently working on the next chapter of The Lily Of Bangtan and it should be up soon.

I hope all of you have been very well, thank you for reading so far, lots of love and take care, aksh 💕

20 November, 2022.

[lolabangtan]

STAY 16 WILL BE OUT THIS SUNDAY, I REPEAT

STAY 16 TO BE POSTED NEXT SUNDAY 27TH!!!!!!

Since I love you, let me share my current taglist for STAY with you. In bold, you’ll find the names that don’t show as linked to an account:

@namjooncrabs @mwitsmejk @thisartemisnevermisses @shrimpmsg @moonchild1 // @hey-youre-appreciated @lulabellie @kaypaay @withlovedaisygirl @kthblackgf // @lathraios @seokjins-luigi @aphrodyteeth @seagulljk @jeonsflower97 // @hoetae @bumblequeen20 @libra04 @gukkachoo @myyeoubi // @monijeon @suzysuee @only4sana @jinsearthh @sonje78 // @no-nottoday @hyetopia @hyunaphordite @ggukpov @ellesalazar // @pixiekooo @apollukee @aghhurts @bubbless-world @bri-mal // @nadirablr-blog @agustdjoon @namu-re @letjooniesub @peachyho // @heesology @ohyeahjk @sancals @ikazou @sugarp3ach // @akshstudios @joonsl0ver @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @medblr-in-the-making @marvelrose // @denleave1088 @chimchoom @ysljoon @bubbless-world @secretlycrazyhummingbird // @ysywyw626 @sugaamykookies @jay-fireheart @libra04 @97cityy // @helenazbmrskai @hubbytaehyung @dragons-flare @haechanies-mommy @jjklovetattoos // @trickylittlewitch @soeur-de-ame @nochuel @map-of-border @yoongiillogical // @claricedelune @sassyvillaintrophy @sweetonkookieandtae @just-me-and-myselfs @black-beautiful @veronawrites // @koreanaestheticc @only-jhope @hazalnut @freyaniobe @kay1i // @oxzie @cantchooseanamebye @maichiverse @amajikisupremacy @preepree95 // @lostsoulsworlds @loolaajt @namjoonimtheman2 @bffbangtan @bittersweet97blog // @jungkooksmytype @luv--you @lovemusicn1d @candyeollies @kenickieshickies // @dimguin @jjk134340 @livid-and-in-love @hoseokteardrop @decaffeinatedcattyrant / @jjkrinvgs @bloodline1632 @jk-190811 @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhintothevoid @sharkipoonis/

this is to make sure everyone who is tagged wants to be tagged (you can ask me to mark you out, no bad feelings luvs) or get you in. Also, if you see your tag name misspelled or incorrect, or you’ve changed it over time, do let me know too please <3<3

[ratherbefangirling]

@aris-ink thanks for tagging me 💜❤���

My WIP

Psyche

Somebody to love

Dream no more

The Truth Untold xx

(Bts tangled au)

(Part time companion)

Blind for you; one last time

Save me pt.4

You're my star

Let me love you

Mi casa 2

Belong 7

Flower cuts

Tagging (no pressure): @oppa-agust-d : @sweetwolfcupcake : @themochiverse : @aajjks : @writemywaytoyourheart : @felixify : @jkeuphoriadreamland : @hoseokslefteyebrow : @amoc94 : @bts-trash-blog : @akshstudios : @seokjinsonlyone : @minniepetals

💝 wip challenge: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. let people send you an ask with any titles most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips. (you can make your own post or reblog this one!)

thank youuuu queen 👑 @kooktrash ❤️

okay, these are all my wips, including my own ideas, and the way the drafts are titled... it's just... dfdhdhdhd anyway

the glass jar.

sennight.

seven deadly sins.

hopeless romantic.

the puppet master.

in bloom.

house of mirrors.

crossroads.

horns.

the cabin.

icarus.

the concept of art.

unholy.

the wolf and the rabbit.

a lesson to learn.

summer dreams.

love from beyond the grave.

silver cross.

shameless.

(no pressure 💖) @adoredcore @beahae @imnotlauriane @vvh0adie @justcallmenikki7 @deepdarkdelights @silv3rswirls @sxtaep @bebejungkook @whatudowhennooneseesyou @yoongsisbae @iceprincessviviane @pynkgothicka @orchidyoonkook @peachypinkygloss @bangtangalicious @luv-gukkie @jeonggukieverse @ratherbefangirling

[raplinesmoon]

Okay, I think jinkook would be for desi-boyz, for 3-idiots maybe the maknae line or joon/jin as rancho, suga as raju and hobi as farhan.. I think jimin/tae would really suit any srk character because they have a very natural/genuine flirty charm with is a must for romance flicks.. 94 line for student of the year —munda 6 foot da *kukkad plays* that's our boy joon right there! Or even tae/jk? Or tae/jimin?

I don't why but suga or jin for lootera(?) Jin/joon for ra one —I've watched one too many chamak challo edit on instagram for the boys. Tae for jab we met.. koo for wake up sid and rockstar —i think jungkook really could take up any role because he's such a versatile personality in real life that I think it'd translate well over screen too. You can have him as a Don, as ranbir in yeh jawaani hai deewani or even barfi or tamaasha or rockstar or bachna ae haseeno. I think jungkook could pull off many ranbir kapoor movies. Joon/jin for Krish, those broad shoulders and physique is required for the very few superhero-ish movies that we have. Again Jin for Dhoom 2, I can see him being the white sculpture in that museum very clearly! Hobi or Jimin for Kaabil, Jinkook for war, Jin for guzaarish, Joon for ghajini, Jimin for fanaa, tae for Taare Zameen par!

I haven't really watched much bollywood movies in the recent years 😅 so all my thoughts are from older movies —but I'd like to know what you think, maybe on a later date I'll make a better list and send in another ask but this all from the top of my head!

I hope you are doing well and thank you giving me a good brain exercise while I commute to university 😂

OMG HELLO HI!! I just want to say, I appreciate how you went in on this ask and left no detail untouched! It was so much fun to read.

I'm gonna put my response to everything (yay!!) under the cut:

1) OKAY JINKOOK DESI BOYZ AU IS GONNA HAPPEN... AT SOME POINT

2) Rapline as the 3 idiots pls 🥺🥺🥺. I think Joon is perfect as Rancho... just the right amount of cute and awkward. I think Yoongi seems like more of a Farhan to me though!! I always see him as the introspective one.

3) YESSSS.... I always imagine Tae as Raj from DDLJ (this is partly based on that clip of him playing the violin in a beret lmao) but he fits the nostalgic romance vibes so well. I see Jimin as more of the flirty, fun SRK roles like Dil To Pagal Hai or KKHH!

4) 94s in SOTY would be so interesting! I can definitely see Joon in Sid's role, but I'm unsure about Hobi as Varun. I like to imagine Taekook in those roles haha... all the girls would go crazy over them LMAO

5) OK this is shameless self-promo but I've actually always loved Hobi for Lootera. So much so I even wrote an entire fic, Autumn Leaves with him as the protagonist in Varun's role (it's one of my favorite things I've ever written). I think Yoongi/Jin would also be great choices though.

6) Maybe I'm a diehard hyung line stan, but I want Namjoon as Aditya! I actually think Tae would be more perfect in Geet's role - how fun would it be to see the roles reversed between them!

7) Jungkook is so versatile - he'd be perfect for wake up sid... or even Rockstar (I am a secret devotee of that movie I think it's so underappreciated). I've also imagined Yoongi in the Rockstar role. The one role I think JK totally embodies is Bunny in YJHD though, so you hit the nail on the head with that (it's one of my favorite movies!)

8) JOON FOR KRRISHH!! We've all seen his body. Nuff said.

9) I think maknae line would be so fun for Dhoom 2! Like maybe Vmin as Jai and Ali, and Kook as Hrithik?? I just see them being both comedic but also good eye candy for those high octane-action scenes.

10) I haven't watched Kaabil! I totally agree with JinKook for War though, that would be a great role, especially because they have such a good hyung-dongsaeng relationship, so it'd be interesting to turn that on its head.

11) JIN FOR GUZAARISH THO??? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY (Seokjin angst is my fatal weakness).

12) Jimin would be so good for Fanaa... i'd love to see his transformation from the flirty tour guide to (no spoilers).

13) TAE IN TAARE ZAMEEN PAR YESSSS. I can't watch that movie without crying and now thinking of Tae makes me cry even more he'd be so perfect

Thank you so much for sharing all your thoughts, I appreciated the amount of effort you put into thinking this through and it made me happy to respond. Glad I could keep you occupied for a little bit with some fun <3

WHICH BOLLWOOD MOVIE WOULD YOU CAST BTS IN? ✨

[minniepetals]

I think with trauma responses, people kinda normalize it in an odd way —like if someone is giving up on stuff because they feel like they don't deserve it, they called selfless when in reality, they don't feel like they deserve it; when people are trying so hard to please everyone and be accomodating, they are called kind and nice when in reality, they are scared what will happen if they go against the person they are trying to please; when people stick to themselves and do everything on their own without any sort of emotional let out, they are seen as independent and as strong, but in reality, it's the hyper-independence, the fear that you'll become a burden and that they'll leave you because of it; all these are valid trauma responses and the widely known ones that are disguised as personality. I'm in no way saying that kind and selfless people don't exist or that independent and strong people don't exist! They do, but when you are all those things and more —not as a means to cope with or as a result of your trauma, you are never left with more bruises and trauma. When you are all that, you aren't more broken and traumatized than before just because you were nice, kind or strong or independent.

I think people aren't seeing yn for the broken human that she is —she isn't selfless! she wants nice things and people in her life too but she's scared! she's scared of being a burden and is heavily busy people pleasing and when she does finally kinda get better with her issues, the boys fuck up and she is having a major relapsebecause even her coping mechanisms are of no use now —completely understandable that she's returning to her dad because that's comfort territory, her father's place is familiar, so there's this hope that she'll survive somehow.

This is my two cents really, I'm not a professional, so I'd love to hear what you think but personally as someone who is hyper-independent and is always called strong and shit, yeah —I think I can kinda speak on this. This is my personal opinion and in no way am I trying to be mean or pessimistic about actual kind and selfless people who kind out of the goodness of their hearts but really, 'hurt people hurt people' is so true, trauma is often generational —meaning there's so many people with such coping traits that we normalize as good kid behavior and celebrate.

you're so incredibly right about this. i think this also applies to personality traits with introversion and extroversion. some people shame introverts as being too quiet and too shy or shame extroverts as too overly excited and openly passionate about things and i'm just like asdfghjkl just let people live, oh my gosh. when you shame people and put the blames on them without knowing anything, it hurts that person and breaks them down and it may not affect you in any way but it completely destroys that person. they'll have thoughts running through their head, asking and asking but never having an answer to things. and then you get angry that they do that when you're the kind of person who'll hurt others and be part of the reason why they question things so much and can't see their own worth.

people who have gone through trauma requires so much patience because even if you lift them up, even after time after time, they're still going to believe that in some sense, they're annoying and they don't deserve any of this. i've seen that through my own eyes and when others get irritated at those sort of things, it makes me so passionate and angry about it because none of it is their fault. none whatsoever. and if you say those things, it'll going to hurt them and we're going to return to square one all over again.

i'm glad you brought the idea about both the selfless and independent person because we've already seen y/n's "selfless" person and honestly, if y/n ever becomes "stronger," and as a result, less trusting of people, particularly the boys, i feel like there's gonna be another response with that being "omg can she just stop being so obsessed with her pride and trust the boys already?" -- like honey, calm your tits, just because a person has grown stronger doesn't mean their self worth is strong and they've come to know who to trust and who not to trust. trauma is seen in the both kind and gentle people, just as well as the cold and aloof ones (like the contrast between y/n and namjoon)

[namjooningelsewhere]

Hello hello, Leah dearest 🥰 Overdue is due ✨ tomorrow ✨And I'm back with my commentary!

Okay, so yn reached out first asking about the paperwork and when joon said no rush, her reply makes it seem like she had plans to be home for the signing and because he says no, she's not coming home now? Is that right? Did she have plans to come home? Did she not tell her mother she'd be back home after chile or somewhere?

Again, yn just knowing that joon is stressed over something and reassuring him —which i completely understand if she did not, but it just hit me in the guts!

Why did they break up with her?!?!JERKS!

Hobi, our hidden intellectual —who just reads tweets and guesses who interacted with yn 🤭

I can just imagine the tiny jimin fury when he sends something in the groupchat 😂 he's so sassy in this chapter!

I love how everyone just knows joon is lying and simply delaying the lease process! Also, love how the majority is on Haeun not joining the lease, about time it dawned on these idiots!

Hobi saying Haeun has two faces and a single braincell —which I personally think isn't hers, she just borrows it from emiko on special occasions 😂🤭

About Jin, I think it's kinda on brand for Jin to question things like this because right from the beginning when everyone is kinda monkeying around, Jin is constantly thinking of the women, like being their voice in when it's only the boys(?) Do I make sense? He talks about Haeun knowing they are going to confess, about yn fighting to pay for the home, about asking Haeun to pay yn, he's just constantly peacemaking in the group, so I totally understand him wanting to give this another chance.. do I support it? No. But I will say, while the twist isn't expected it makes sense if Haeun is their third girlfriend and they've already broken hearts before her.

I'm just bitter that they didn't give this consideration to yn, who truly deserved someone fighting for their relationship but they extend it to itchy sweaters 🙄🥴

Again, jin makes so much sense when you see it from their point of view, they fucked up and hurt so many people unintentionally, that they wanna try and do better for the ones they have right now.. understandable but not recommended when it's someone like Haeun.

Wow, they boys really don't think she's with them for clout and other benefits huh? She's in this as us.. no, baby. She's in this to join the superstar's league! Again, where was this compassion and understanding when yn needed it?

I wonder how they'll react to knowing she played them for clout 🙄 I wonder if they'll take revenge of any sort..

Again, understand where they are coming from and truly appreciate the thought, but the person doesn't deserve this chace! I like how tae's just like i don't like Haeun, if you stay with her, I'll monopolize on yn, as if he hasn't messed up with them too 😅

vhope at it again with their conspiracies against Haeun 😂 again love tae's confidence in Haeun fucking up again, boy is not in the least concerned about the odd chance that she might not 😂😅

What exactly does tae have in his mind? He's an icon when it comes to dealing with Haeun, so I'm excited to see what he comes up with!

Oh.. the flashback! Watching a relationship crumble is so sad, it always gets me heavy and teary.. and from what we can see, yn really tried her best, apologizing even when it's not her at fault, prioritising them over her needs, cooking and packing them food, staying away to make sure they get rest 🥺🥺 why did they break up with her so easily when she always walked their pace and literally was the best partner they could've asked for?!

I can't wait to find out what's up with yoongi and dan.. that's like the biggest mystery of this series for me! I hope yn is okay, also getting plastered alone isn't a great idea, bubs 😊 I can't wait to see what's up with Haeun in tomorrow's update!

I hope you are doing well, take care and lots of love, aksh 💕

Hey Aksh❤️

Hope you're doing well. I've been good.

So for starters, Y/Nie isn't coming back yet, she still has three months to go, she initiated the conversation since Namjoon was so persistent before about you know starting the process. So she just reminded him.

She always been like that, she was super understanding. And yeah Hobi!!!! Vhope are the chaotic ones and they're also going to be the ones who will cause the final explosion where in Y/N loses it when she is going to see them after she returns, there will be damage control by someone from the five but it will be a mess.

They still don't know about Ha-euns intentions since nothing much has happened on that front yet. They have been planning but Tae spun his magic and threw her out.

Jimin is such a mood, I swear i just want to pull out the yoongi in him sometimes. You know when at times Jimin is savage AF!!!

Tae is dreaming right now, he acknowledges that he needs to work his ass off to get her back but he is a bit overconfident that she will, if she does or not that's yet to be seen.

Jin is someone who thinks things through here, but his loyalties will always be with the boys. He is always be by their side even if he knows theyre wrong. But he is trying his best to salvage what is left. They have been unlucky in love, they've only been with people who have tried to take advantage, so Y/N was someone geniune but sadly they couldn't see. They ended up running away when there were problems. Which they shouldn't have, and have worked on it.

Y/N always walked the pace with the boys but somehow they didn't even bother understanding her.

And Danny and Yoongi, the reason why they are always at each other's throats is, at this point now, it is because she knows they hurt her a lot which she doesn't deserve. Danny speaks to the rest of the boys as well but yoongi's attitude bothers her. So after last update when Ha-eun starts her bitch trap Danny is the one who will catch Yoongi multiple times with Ha-eun when they hung out and tries to warn Y/N, but as usual out girl is too blinded by her own trust so she ends up ignoring the red flags. But again the hate that you saw in the first few chapters is because she knew something was up with Yoongi and also Yoongi is the one who introduces Ha-eun and the boys..

[jinconda]

Hustlers Masterlist

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

summary: Broken friendships, tested loyalties are causing Bangtan's internal problems to become worse than their external.

not so much a summary: im tired of weak, annoying y/n characters that are helpless and need jk to save them. that being said, reader is an explosive, temperamental, badass. jks girlfriend has the lovely title of being the annoying y/n.

warning: violence, I mean like some serious ass shit, killing left n right, graphic themes, dark themes, swearing

playlist: not mine but it gives off hustler vibes

Summary: When Jeongguk’s girlfriend, Jihyo is taken by the Daechwita gang, everyone’s friendships are tested as Jeongguk does anything in pursuit of getting her back.

wc: 6.2k

Summary: The aftermath of the Daechwita house causes tension and the severity of the issue begins to weigh onto everyone.

wc: 5.5k

Parts one and two are combined in one post which is found here.

Taglist: (I have this saved in my Mac’s notes, if you want to be removed given that I’ve been gone for half a year, let me know (and if you want to be added, even better ;] )

@carolsummerlove @seajae @wintersobs @sparkyprotectionsquad @youlook-likehell @mizz-kraziii @jinnaga @artgukk, @shownusshoulders @gguksnoona @thequeen-kat @swnss @kooyanami @lily-tigers @joonjulyagust-d @satorinnie @azazel-nyx @parisoswag @kokoandkookie @nochuonii @finelinememories @greezenini @thataquariusreader @scoupsnotscoops @maichiverse @diamonddia-mond @sparkyprotectionsquad @tucajitadepandora @posijeon @yoongistangerine @plants-w0rld @tatyxxana19 @parisoswag @softforpj @luvshorses08 @mariegalea @bllatrixcarpnter @pjmwingz @lavenderhotcoco @waterlilyintherough @namitakeru @f4ncyvelvet @andrejamis @bad1karma @jiminoctilucy @itzz-me-duh @btspurplesky @iconicgguk @yoontaethings @jeonpendejo @in-daydreaming @bubbless-world @sweetcheeksdna @leehaechanlee @neo44 @nochuel @morauvmi @nissss @desireangel @hrts4kook @bratdolls @barbellastyles98 @xeidensdistraction @xeidensdistraction @akqshie @namjooncrabs @greezenini @lvrseok @tkaatalk @akshstudios @btspurplesky @shydestinyyouth @ishizhan 

[ggukkiereads]

Hi 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 it’s me again 🙈

Do you have any arranged marriage fic recs where they need proof of consummation (like blood on the bed sheets?) every since I read monster by @neonlights92 I’ve been looking for this specific au theme but without luck 😅

It’s okay if you don’t have time or want to help me out this time 💛

🌷 Hi there, it's okay! I have time for a bit, plus I can answer this right away since I can't remember other fics than these (will try to add more if I recall any)

Break My Mind's Eye @flowerwrites06 - Jungkook x Reader

series [11/11] | 70k+ {? just a guess) | mafia au, druglord!jungkook, fashion designer!oc, contract marriage of some sort | a, s, f

Meadow @foxymoxy [ao3] - Jungkook x Reader

series [51/55] | 430k+ | arranged marriage, a/b/o dynamics, shifter au, werewolf au, alpha!jungkook. lots of plot twists!!! | s, a, f

🌷 the “proof” part is in chapter one if I remember correctly. there’s a lot of uncomfortable “traditions and norms” in the wolf society from the very start but this is written so well

Matters of the Heart: The Lily of Bangtan @akshstudios - Namjoon x Reader

series [3/?] | no wc provided but probably 20K at this point? | mafia au, arranged marriage, strangers to lovers, bestfriend’s brother au | a, eventual s, f

🌷 the “consummation” hasn’t happened yet but it was mentioned in Ch 1 that the “proof showing” is part of the tradition too

.

[httpknjoon]

friends with history | ksj; masterlist

plot | You and Jin broke up. It’s a mutual decision. Another decision you shared was to stay friends, considering you two are in a single friend group. It’s easy, you thought. Both of you just have to act like you did not have a seven-year relationship while you hang out with your other friends every Saturday with your new dates.

genres | fluff, angst, smut, exes!au

warnings | specified in each chapter

pairing | seokjin x reader

songs | death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift, can we still be friends - todd rundgren, afterglow - taylor swift,  paper rings - taylor swift, cornelia street - taylor swift, (just play the whole lover album at this point lol)

masterlist  | preview

1  Aftermath of the Break Up

You and Jin broke up after seven years together. As you deal with it unhealthily, you still need to face your friends and tell them about the changes.

2  Announcement! Announcement!

Chocolate milk, dinner night, and a couple of announcements.

2.5  Chocolate Milk

In which, Jin brings you your chocolate milk when you are about to buy one.

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​​ @cixrosie​​ @moonchild1​ @jksjx​​ @embrace-themagic​ ​ @buttvi​​  @starbtslove​​  @missseoulite​ @alpacaseoks​  @vanntaesworld​ ​ ​​​

​

TAGLIST

@jnshjjt @lilachaeyo​ @bringmetheksj​ @effielumiere​ @claricedelune​ @arisud​ @kianamj​ @teamtardis-notdead​ @circleroomtalk @rjsmochii​ @akshstudios​ @sojurnmichael @tan-dulset​ @agustdxjiminx​ @my-current-mood-is​ @cestlabellemort​ @nadiaislas @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @betysotelo18​ @kissme-ornot​​ @ccygll @dopedreamfireparty​ @satorinnie​ @delusionalsnack @yoongixmile​ 

taglist rules

[alexlwrites]

Forget Me Not

Summary: “Your spiralling psyche combined both of those motivational quotes into your own, that you did not know then would dictate the tone of all your convoluted breakups. If someone made you feel as if you were easily forgettable, then you would easily forget them. And you, being you, took that quite literally. That day you looked straight into your ex-boyfriend’s eyes and with an unflinching, stone cold face said “I’m sorry, do we know each other?” 

OR

The one where everytime you get dumped you pretend that you never met the guy before to mess with their heads. To the point that if you run into them somewhere you reintroduce yourself and act like you never seen each other before.

Enters fuckboy Jungkook who disappears after your night together, leaving in the middle of the night with no idea of how much he was about to regret that choice. 

Pairing: JungkookXReader

Tags: Romance, Humor, Fluff, College AU, angst if you squint.

A/N: you know what they say: writer’s block? Start a new fic! 

°•. ✿ .•°

Preview - Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

(Fanfic masterlist) (support me on my ko-fi <3 )

Boys loved to forget about you, but hated finding out they were just as easily forgettable. 

You learned this very early in your life, one of the many lessons your older sisters had passed on to you. You were barely a teenager back then but you remembered as if it was just yesterday, the memory of your sister Jane, with her glorious cocktail of middle child anger and a borderline anarchical emotional stance, placing her ringing phone in the freezer. Although you did not ask, she said “He ghosted me for like a week”.

“That does not explain the IPhonesicle you just made” you told her.

Jane shrugged “I texted his best friend and he did not like that” the noise kept coming from the refrigerator, muffled but still shrill “men do not like when you treat them the same way they treat you” she hummed, as if she had not just dropped a pearl of wisdom in your marker stained hands “go figure.”

At that time, you didn’t think much of it. You kept those words in the back pocket of your mind, not knowing then how much they would resonate in the future

There were many other things that your sisters said that subconsciously stuck with you - people say that older siblings are the blueprint and they couldn’t be more right. If Jane and Lizzie were blueprints, you were the unhinged engineer that took those plans and ran with it and whatever those two did it was guaranteed that you would take it to an unwarranted level. Your first heartbreak proved it true.

You were just sixteen and he was older, the perfect recipe for disaster. He filled your head with rehearsed lies about how mature you were for your age and how you were not like the other girls (he was right, you were worse). It was all fine and well and you basked in your ingenue stupidity up until you saw him in a deep examination of a senior cheerleader`s tongue at a random house party. 

Oh, that tore you apart, the pain setting its claws deep in your heart. Hearing for so long how different you were made the realization of how replaceable you actually were to the male gaze much more hurtful. You climbed into Lizzie’s bed that night with mascara running down your face from all the crying you did, a couple of chocolate bars on one hand and hatred on the other. Lizzie - the oldest, less prone to dramatic affairs, much more prone to dangerous ones - listened quietly, as she always did. In the end, she cleaned your face with a makeup wipe, poured you a tiny glass of your mom’s wine that you should not be drinking and said “You are not replaceable and you are not stupid. You are young” she sipped from her own glass, much fuller than yours “Don’t think of that man as your ex. Think of him as a lesson learn. A mistake not to be repeated.”

At that age, sometimes your sisters seemed bigger than life. Sometimes it felt like they had been through everything and carried all the answers forward - it would be stupid not to listen to the life’s cheat sheet they carried. 

So when Lizzie finished her night of advice (a rare occurrence, those nights, as Lizzie was not a talker) with the next few words, you listened and made them your own. “Remember, Y/N” she said “in this house, we do not forgive. Sometimes we forget. If someone reminds you, make them wish they didn’t”.

The next day, when your human shaped lesson of an ex showed up to your school to see you, your heart filled you with an overflowing amount of anger, threatening to drip from your eyes. He came up to you as if nothing had happened and the sight of him made you feel just as bad as when you saw him with that cheerleader - replaceable, forgettable. Frozen in your place, you didn’t move as he kissed your face. His touch made you feel sick and you wished you could erase the memory of it from your mind.

As if you had an epiphany or a spontaneous acid trip, your mind conjured collections of your sisters’ words and actions, mixing the things they taught and the things you watched them do for years. Elizabeth had told you to forget sometimes, but never forgive. Jane had told you how much reciprocity could be a bitch. Your spiralling psyche combined both of those motivational quotes into your own, that you did not know then would dictate the tone of all your convoluted breakups. 

If someone made you feel as if you were easily forgettable, then you would easily forget them.

And you, being you, took that quite literally. That day you looked straight into your ex-boyfriend’s eyes and with an unflinching, stone cold face said “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

Oh, that made him mad. After the initial confusion, he made a fuss and called you every name in the book. Everytime you assured him he never met you before he would call you crazy while having no idea of how right he was. But you kept your lie with your head held high, putting all the acting skills you had mastered in your years as the youngest sister to good use. And it just so happened that destiny and his lack of principles were on your side because in all the months you were a couple, you hadn’t told anyone. He spewed shit about how your love was a secret that it would be better kept, that people wouldn’t understand and would be way too jealous, that you didn’t have to prove your feelings to anyone. Of course you figured out that all those words were just his way of keeping himself single but at that moment those words were his demise.

And so he walked away and you added a new strategy to your playbook of how to make men lose their shit.

And it worked perfectly fine until you girlbossed a bit too close to the sun.

And the sun’s name was Jeon Jungkook.

(part one>>>)

°•. ✿ .•°

Taglist’s open!

[Taglist:  @artsxpe ; @010op10 ; @ladysandy ; @707sblog ; @notvantaes ; @borahaeb1ch ; @akshstudios ; @ imknewattis ]

[kimnjss]

yn’s album (sola) [ apple music | spotify ]

- none of these songs are written by yn of course, but for the sake of the au and the fact that i cannot write music - we’re going to act like they are ! lyrics are really important to get a good grasp of what she was feeling while writing these.

oh! and a little tip on which songs are about who:

one - yn. two - yn. three - jm/sj. four - jin. five - jimin. six - jin. seven - jimin. eight - jimin. nine - jin.

��� he’s bad for you. from the commitment issues to the endless scandals. sworn to never settle down… well, that’s until he sees how happy you can be without him. now he’s willing to do anything to keep from losing you to your so-called ‘perfect boyfriend’.

↭ masterlist ↭

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[akshstudios]

The Lily Of Bangtan | Kim Namjoon

[ pairing ] rm × you (fem!reader)

Beginning : Bangtan, Arranged Marriages and The Elites.

[ series ] [ matters of the heart in the mafia series ] this story is the first part of the matters of the heart in the mafia series.

[ previous ] [ masterlist ] [ next ]

[ genre ] mafia au × arranged marriage au × strangers to lovers au × bestfriend's brother au ( angst )

[ rating ] mature-rated

[ warnings ] eventual smut. arranged marriage that sounds extremely like it's forced. alcohol consumption. mentions of unhealthy romantic relationship. neglect. dysfunctional relationships with a parent. degrading words are used against women and obvious objectification of women. nothing is too graphic or explicit but there are mentions and hints at domestic abuse. there are cursewords too. highly unrealistic because i'm sensitive to too much gore and real-life shit.

[ author's forenote ] this is my first time doing this and i truly have no clue what i should mention as warnings and such but please let me know if I'm messing up stuff. i've tried my best to get most of everything right. i really won't go deep into it because i'm pretty sensitive and really can't write in too deep but there will be mentions and please don't read if you even feel like this might be too much or uncomfortable for you. also, if you are underage that is younger than eighteen, don't interact with this post. while nothing is explicit, i'd rather you not read than you read something you shouldn't. i don't want to in any manner, push mature content your way. also note, in this part your name is baek nari.

Beginning : Bangtan, Arranged Marriages and The Elites.

[ chapter summary ] a look into your life, bangtan, it's culture of marrying strangers and about the creme-de-la-creme of the organization.

Bangtan is Asia's most dangerous and the largest crime syndicate and you are the daughter of the Underboss. That's all anyone had to know about you to speculate what your life was, is and will be. 

No matter what your position in the mafia ladder was, your future as a quintessential mob woman held only two things; a marriage to the man of the Don's choosing and an heir for whoever married you. That's all there is for women like you. Your body to serve and be enjoyed by a man, your uterus to nourish and produce a heir for the said man and a lifelong commitment to raise the said heir till Bangtan chose the child's future. 

It's the same old story. 

Your mother, her mother, your father's mother and all other women in Bangtan were subjected to this culture of marrying a stranger and bearing his child.

You wouldn't be different. Your mother told you that every day. She told you that when you studied hard at school, told you again when you went to study abroad, repeated it very loudly when you applied for higher studies and again when you joined the Jeon Corps as an Executive. 

You wouldn't be any different.

Trying to differ in a world like ours is just a waste of time and effort.

But you were different. At least, you liked to believe so. Most mob women barely graduated high school. You had a degree from a prestigious university. Some mob women were forced into prostitution or are used as honey traps for other gangs but you work voluntarily for a different face of Bangtan, the less nefarious corporate one. 

You were different, but were you really?

Deep down, you knew weren't any different. You were just another pawn in the vicious game of the mafia. You had a splendid matrimonial arrangement and high hopes set out for you to pop out a perfect male child for the man. 

Your marriage was arranged the day you were born, at the hospital where your father handed you over your crib to Bangtan's Boss and his best friend, Don Kim Joonhyung. The Don took one look at you and a look at his gurgling toddler and decided that you would marry his son, Kim Namjoon.

That was all it took for your life to be joined with his; two glances and a sentence. 

One would think it's bizzare at this day and age but arranged marriages have been the norm in the mafia world for generations, especially in Bangtan. Everyone's marriage is arranged and the syndicate did not look kindly upon love marriages. No one was exempt from this tradition of Bangtan, not even the Don himself.

The Don chooses the two who would be marrying for the good of Bangtan, the families involved and the children they would have. The family with the higher standing in Bangtan takes in the other family, so the couple are at an equal place and a higher position in the mafia-social ladder. If a made-man works hard and becomes an irreplaceable part of the circle but is the son of a low-level associate, then there's a higher chance of the man marrying a higher status mob woman, so he can move up the social ladder.

Everything is a carefully planned business move and probably the Don and Madam's most crucial duty because there are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed and certain things that need to be kept in mind while setting up such matches. The two need to be somewhat of an equal match in at least one attribute, be it age, status or skills. Their families must be loyal to Bangtan and to each other. It is a tedious process, but the couple seemed to have gotten nearly all marriages right.

Was it the fear or love holding the married couples together, only the couples could tell. But like everything else with Bangtan, no one has the spine to question it. 

The normal way to find out that you are getting married and finding out who that person is going to be is over a lovely dinner with the Don and Madam at their mansion. They serve your favourites and stuff you enough that you won't know to say no -not that anyone would, but the possibility exists- the system very similar to the fattening up of an animal before its brutal sacrifice. 

The two people get summoned to the Don's mansion. He introduces them to each other and tells them they are getting married. The couple agrees- whether they like it or not, it doesn't matter. They have dinner and in a few months, they are married. There are no dates, no kissing, no holding each other, practically nothing before marriage.

The woman is expected to remain a virgin till her marriage. The couple is expected to consummate their marriage on the wedding night, show proof of the said act and produce kids for the next generation of Bangtan. That was life in the world of Bangtan, at least for women; marriage, husband and kids.

You shuddered at the possibility of the same happening to you, but you know it was inevitable. Your skin crawled thinking of the hundreds of wedding night and sheet ceremony horror stories you've heard over the years; women shamed and blamed for not bleeding onto the pristine sheets on the wedding night, women accused of being whores for liking or taking lead in what was happening, women being forced into sex, women being assaulted for saying no.

Everytime, you take a deep breath, exhale and move on. 

This was life.

It wasn't that the unfairness didn't prick at you but you were helpless and hopeless against these cruel mafia-men.

For an organization that so heavily prides on the fact that they treat women well, Bangtan did have its flaws -like how men are never asked to not engage in sexual activities before marriage or how men aren't required to give proof of their virginity in the most unscientific way possible for the world to see, -bleeding into the sheets, that's barbaric- You were fifteen when you pointed that out to your mother. The answer was a tight slap to your cheek and a short lecture on manners.

"Being born into Bangtan is a blessing, Nari," Your mother had told you, grabbing painfully at your arm, as you clutched on to your throbbing cheek, eyes filling up in watery pain, "If you were born into any other gang, you'd have been sold off to a pimp at ten and you'd be living as a whore right now."

You had winced at her harsh words and at the pain your mother was giving you.

But you knew, it was true.

You were lucky to have been born in Bangtan, a syndicate that accepts made-men having daughters over any gang that just disowns or even worse, kills them. And above that, you were privileged to be born as the daughter of one of the higher-ups of Bangtan.

You cried to sleep that night regardless.

Privileged or not, your life wouldn't be yours to live anyway.

When you were around sixteen, you found out about your engagement to Kim Namjoon.

Your best friend, Kim Jangmi -who is the Don's daughter and Namjoon's younger sister- revealed the fact at an usual bi-weekly sleepover at your place. You were supposed to be reading some cheap romance novel or watch a sappy movie, with too-sweet and too-seasoned snacks but instead the two of you were talking late into the night, indulging yourselves in the latest gossip in Bangtan -like how one of your dearest unnies in Bangtan, Saera was getting married to an Elite member and how Shin Jihyo and Shin Jihoon, a set of twins and two people you hate vehemently, were punished severely for bullying and pranking Jungkook, a young orphan boy that the Don had brought home.

As you talked longer about everything under your sky, the talk naturally steered to your recent discovery of Jangmi's obvious crush on Taehyung, yet another orphan picked up by Bangtan. You teased her relentlessly as you mimicked her expressions and actions anytime, the boy was around. She kept firmly denying it and kept saying how it was just because of so and so, this and that but you knew your friend well.

She definitely liked him.

And you also knew she had reasons to not accept it. But that didn't stop you from calling her a traitor for not sharing exclusive details of her forbidden crush on Taehyung.

In a world where you couldn't choose your life partner, crushes were a bane and crushing on your brother's close friend would be the worst of them all. Not only would it cause trouble for Jangmi, it could potentially ruin Taehyung too. You must've cornered her because when she turns your words to you, you are left gaping.

"Yah, don't act like you are any better!" She scoffs playfully, sounding a little hurt, fully convinced that you were acting innocent, "You keep a whole engagement -with my brother, no less- away from me, but except me to share my innocent crush on my brother's friend like it's the weather?!"

To say you were shocked then would be an understatement.

"What engagement?" You asked, stupefied at her absurd revelation.

You would know if you were engaged to a man, right?

Your parents wouldn't hide that from you. Your mother would be ecstatic at the thought of becoming family with the Don and everything that could bring to her status and your father would never be able to hide it from you.

But apparently you didn't know your parents all that well and they did manage to successfully hide it from you for sixteen years.

That was the first time you heard about your engagement with Namjoon, from his sister.

The whole night is spent with you trying to convince Jangmi that no, you really didn't know and with her recollecting how she actually came to know about it.

Your best friend had eavesdropped, when her parents were talking to Namjoon about staying away from Shin Jihyo who was trying a little too hard to gain his attention. They had reminded him that he was engaged to you and while it wasn't announced officially, he had to stay away from other mob women in order to not cause you any trouble and heartache in the future.

Namjoon had dutifully agreed that he would stay away from other mob women.

You would never admit it out aloud, but your heart did drop a bit at the thought of marrying a man who had to be told to stay away from other women, when he knew of his engagement to you.

You couldn't fall asleep that night, thoughts too heavy in you as you waited for breakfast the next day. You ambush your parents the next morning, right after the Don's chauffeur had picked up your best friend.

"Why did you never tell me?" You ask in an accusatory tone, tears welling in your eyes. Your parents betrayal running down your cheeks.

"You were too young to be talking about this," Your father tried to soothe you. He hated seeing his darling daughter cry. "You still are, you don't have to worry about it, sweetie. We'll talk about it when you are old enough."

"But I'm glad you know now," Your mother's voice interrupted your father's softer soothing, "So that you can stay away from those orphans! You don't want to be getting involved in any way with them!"

"They are my friends!" You glare at your mother, who always hated that the Don brought in so many orphans and raised them with kids born into Bangtan. She thought that it ruined the sanctity of Bangtan.

You roll your eyes at her, like anything the syndicate does could be considered sacred and holy.

"They are the next Don's closest friends, you should hold your tongue on how you talk about them." You glare at her, eyes teary. You truly hated your mother sometimes.

"They aren't the next Don though," Your mother breathed a laugh, as if she had an upper hand in the argument, "-the man you are engaged to, so keep your hands to yourself."

"You are no one to be ordering me around."

"Why you-" Before your mother could land a painful slap on you, your father had held her arm with a steely glare. "Let go, let me-"

"If I ever see you-" He said, twisting her arm, "-trying to hurt my daughter, I'll drop you exactly where you are from, the slums." He sneered, letting go of her. Your mother pulled away, still breathing heavily. Her hateful eyes landed on you, as you stayed behind your father. You met her gaze with equal amounts of venom, if not more.

"Get out." Your father ordered her, turning to look at you. Once your mother left, your father sighed. He cupped your cheek, wiping your tears away. "It's okay, sweetling," He smiled tiredly, "Everything is okay. She won't hurt you, okay?" You nod, sniffling.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell you because I wanted you to live your life without worrying about marriage, kids and all that." Your father hugs you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "Don't worry your little head about it. We'll talk about it when the time comes."

And you nod, sniffling.

That was the last time your father spoke of the engagement until the night after your twenty-fifth birthday.

"Dinner's served, young miss."

You look up and nod at the maid with a polite smile. "Your mother wishes that you join her," She added in a hesitant tone, making you roll your eyes.

"Why?" You ask, taking off your glasses and stretching your sore limbs, "What sin have I committed recently to face her judgement?"

You had ideas, of course.

It could be about you getting shit-face drunk last night or could be about you hitting up the famous club, Sweet Night in Gangnam or it could be about how Hoseok had to practically carry you home from there.

Honestly, it could be anything or nothing.

You mother didn't need a reason to go off on you. She was always particularly happy to yell and lecture you for no reason at all.

You stand up, switching your laptop off and look around for a sweatshirt. The maid looked agonized at your question, like she was wondering if answering was a trap. Instead, she chose to stay quiet and let you talk. You were in a thin camisole top that worked like pajamas for you and a pair of silk shorts with scalloped edges.

"Have you-" You are cut off, when the maid passes you your sweatshirt lying on the couch of your office. "Thank you, Jaehee." You smile, pulling the shirt over your head. 

"Will Appa be joining us?" You ask, hoping that your father was there to mediate -take your side in- whatever shit your mother was planning to instigate at the dinner table tonight.

"I don't-" The girl was cut short when the loud honks were heard from outside. You smiled widely at her, completely used to your father's loud entrance. 

"He is." You add, grinning. "How nice."

"You can go, I'm sure you are busy." You tell the maid, waiting for your laptop to shut down. If both your parents are joining you for dinner it means whatever the news was, it was big. You had an inkling what the big news might be. It was your birthday yesterday, twenty-fifth one at that.

In Bangtan terms, you are at the perfect age to get married. 

"I promise I haven't forgotten my way to the dining hall." You add again, shooing the woman away. She looked concerned but knew better than to talk back to you.

"Yes, young miss." You give her a sympathetic smile. The staff in your home were always walking on eggshells around your family. With three ill-tempered people, among whom at least two disliked each other and didn't get along, the staff always feared any situation where you could potentially start a fight.

Anytime you and your mother are left in each other's company, it's always a disaster. It wasn't that you loathed her or anything, but she wasn't a good mother for most part and she definitely at least intensely disliked you.

Maybe it was because of the fact that you are very much like your father, a man she was forced to marry.

Maybe it's because of the fact that you were a duty she had no other choice but to fulfil.

Maybe it's just because you weren't like how she was when she was your age.

Maybe it's because of what you have and what she didn't at your age.

Maybe it's because you were a living reminder of her broken dreams.

Maybe it's just you.

Your relationship with your mother had only worsened over the years. The two of you could barely be in the same room without getting into a fight with each other.

As you pocket your phone and walk out of your bedroom, you wonder if the news was what you think it was or if this dinner was for you to get lectured on getting shit-face drunk yesterday.

You couldn't be blamed for that.

This was your last birthday where you were allowed to do this without any lasting consequences. This was probably the last birthday and the last time, you were allowed to hit up a club with friends and get drunk, without having to ask for permission.

Any birthday after yesterday would be spent according to your husband's wishes.

In the world you live in, even waking up in the morning is a blessing in itself. You are almost sure you won't live long enough to see your next birthday.

You sigh as the gloom of your future surrounds you, running a hand through your hair.

"Ah, here comes the princess." Your mother's fake-sweet, taunting voice welcomes you the second you step into the room. "Finally decided to grace us with her royal presence," She simpered, and your skin crawled with the annoyance you felt for her.

"Yes," You smile fakely, "I decided it was about time I graced the peasants of the Baek nation with my regal presence," You said in a calm voice, "Hi appa," You greet your father sweetly, giving him a hug, as he pressed a kiss to your temple. He pulls you a chair by him, smiling.

"Well, the King of the Baek nation is extremely happy that his princess decided to join him and the peasant for dinner tonight." He told you, taking your side without any question.

You grinned at him. 

"Husband!" Your mother screeched, glaring at him, making your father shrug. 

"You started it, wife." He smirked, staring right back at her.

The stare lasted longer than normal, as if challenging her to talk more. Your mother sighed, turning her glare away from your father to her plate. She would never win against your father.

You looked away, a little uncomfortable.

This -your parents' relationship- was why you were so scared of the arranged marriage culture in Bangtan and the Don's lack of concern for the couple's happiness.

Your parents' relationship was not loving or romantic. They were at the very most, friendly.

Your father wasn't outwardly abusive, just absent as a husband.

Your mother spent more time living lavishly away from her husband, than lovingly with him.

Their marriage too, was arranged; much like anyone's in Bangtan. They were introduced to each other as their chosen partners by the previous Don, had a dinner with them and married a month later. They consummated their marriage and you were born.

Their biggest duty to Bangtan had been fulfilled.

It didn't matter to Bangtan that they weren't happy with each other.

It didn't matter to Bangtan that you weren't a child to your mother but an evidence of her broken dreams.

It didn't matter to Bangtan that they were abusive and toxic to each other.

None of that mattered before the Don's wishes and your family's pride and reputation.

"Let's eat." Your father finally said and you wordlessly picked up your chopsticks. You pick up a piece of kimchi, chewing on it as you ignore the familiar unsettling sensation in your guts.

The dinner menu was your favourite, braised beef ribs and scallion pancakes.

The news was big then.

You were being treated so that you put the least amount of effort against it.

"How was work, honey?" Your dad asked, placing a short rib on your plate. He uses his chopsticks to carefully pull away the meat and takes the bone out. "I asked the kitchen to make your favorites,"

"Work was work, Appa." You say, picking up the piece of braised meat. "But, you are buttering me up for something, I wonder what that is?"

"I just wanted my darling daughter to have her favourites, is that wrong?" You dad laughed lightly, knowing he got caught. He wasn't the most subtle.

"Sure, dad. I believe you." You state simply, taking a piece of the pancake and dipping it in the soy-sauce. "Now tell me, what's the news?"

"The Don has requested an audience with you, Nari-yah," Your father told you, barely masking his excitement. "He wants to talk to you about something important," He added, like he didn't exactly know what you were being called for. 

"It's about my marriage, Abeo-ji," You rolled your eyes, "All of us know that's why he's requesting dinner," You said, shoving meat into your mouth.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't act oblivious," Your dad grinned, "Let the old man have his fun, yeah?"

"Yeah sure," You muttered. "When-"

"Friday at 7, for dinner." Your father said before you could even complete your question. "Joonhyung will send someone over to bring you to them." 

"I'll take something nice for them, then." You add, "Maybe those pastries they like from the bakery across our office?"

"They will love it, sweetling." You dad said, happy that you were being so accepting of the news. He was warned -by many who thought he let you off the hook and be a spoiled brat- to expect you to act out, refuse or pull some sort of resistance. But of course, he knew you would agree.

You were his daughter after all.

"Help her out," Your father turns to your mother, almost ordering her, who only nodded. 

"Will you take the day off?" Your father turns to you expectantly.

You shake your head. You couldn't. You had a few important meetings scheduled throughout the week. You just couldn't let Jungkook take care of them. The boy would just press his gun to their temples, cause unwanted trouble and terrify the employees.

Even thinking of Jeon Corps' future with Jungkook and his short temper as its leader gave you a headache. You could only hope that the boy either learns to rein in his temper or the Don finds someone who can rein him in. 

"I'll take the afternoon off." You say, "I won't be late." Not like you'd want to be, the Don hated anyone who wasn't punctual.

Your father nods approvingly and the rest of the dinner went as normally as possible, as far as your family was concerned.

"Hi Hi Hi," Jangmi's happy face came into view the second you received the call. "Are you sober?"

"Unfortunately, yes." You say and she laughs, her cheery laughter almost making you smile. You place the phone on the tray, push yourself deeper into the hot tub and rest against the rim of the tub.

"Wait, are-are you in the tub?" You nod, gathering up some soapy bubbles and blowing it towards the phone. She flinches back, like she was scared the soap would splash over her. "Why?! Isn't it like 4am there right now?"

"I'm de-stressing," Your reply was short and Jangmi raises her brow.

"-by marinating yourself in soap?" You purse your lips at her. Jangmi wasn't the biggest fan of baths. She thought it was gross to sit in warm water and soap for too long. If she could, she'd make taking baths a crime, really.

"Does your brother hate baths too?"

"I wouldn't know," She shrugs, taking a sip of her tea -she hated coffee- "I'm not particularly interested in what the overprotective prick does in his free-time. But for your sake, I hope he does."

"Do you think that could be grounds for a divorce?"

"What? -not enjoying... baths?"

"Yeah, do you think Namjoon and I could get a divorce because of our conflicting views on baths?"

"Wait-" She raises her hand, "-hold up, what are we talking about? You aren't even- oh!" She gasped with appropriate drama as realization dawned, her pretty eyes wide and hand to her mouth. "Did dad invite you to dinner?"

"Yes, this friday." You say solemnly, as if you are relaying some dreadful news.

"When did this happen? Does everyone else know? Why didn't anyone tell me?!" She cried out, betrayed that no one told her that you were invited for dinner to her home.

"I was told at dinner, Mi." You try to console her, "I don't think anyone else knows except our families."

"Why wasn't I told then? Am I not Kim f-ing Namjoon's sister?" She scoffs, "I leave this brat alone for a few years and he thinks he can just get married without me knowing? That too with my bestfriend?"

"I don't think he knows, not really-"

"Na, no." She shook her head, "-my brother knows everything, and I mean everything. He's just fucking around with me. He wants to dangle this infront of me- I got married to your bestfriend! She's mine now!- the asshole-" She blabbered on, ignoring your obvious plight at the mention of your marriage.

Namjoon and Jangmi had a typical sibling relationship; their hate, apparent and childish and love, almost non-existent but still there. They fought a lot and Jangmi has even gone as far as pitying you for having to marry her brother. But, you knew she loved him. She never really has actual bad stuff to say about him, expect that he is clumsy, that he's too protective, that he was a know-it-all and the kind.

"I can't believe they would do this to me," She sighed in disbelief, "Wait till I get my hands on them-" she cut herself off, noticing your silence. "What happened?"

"I don't want to marry," you whisper, "I don't think I can do this."

"What?"

"I-I'm scared, what if-" You start to meet her gaze, but then stop. Jangmi was looking at you in concern, expecting more but you stopped yourself. You wanted to continue, but all this was happening a little too fast. You really hadn't thought about the whole marriage thing seriously. Anytime it was mentioned you put if off for a later date, and now after a few hours of stewing you still weren't sure on how you were going to handle this situation.

You'd have to get married to him, of course. But how was life going to go after that? Would you be like your mother? Would he be like your father? Would you have a child together? Would he care for the child? Would he care for you?

It seemed like all you had was questions and Jangmi didn't feel like the right person to ask these questions to. You hesitated, then sighed. "Can we change the topic?"

She tilts her head and exhales. "Sure but you have to tell me whatever you are willing share,"

"The Don has invited me for dinner on Friday and I think we all know why." You recite, "-that's all I know. I wish I had more to share, but no."

"Okay," she nodded, like she was accepting that you weren't going to say much. She looked conflicted for a minute, allowing silence to fill between you and then, takes a breath and says, "Na, I know you are marrying my brother and into my family, but you can tell me anything, okay? I'm your bestfriend first, then your sister-in-law."

"okay, sister-in-law." You huff a laugh, for some reason a little more reassured than you were previously. Maybe, this was the only thing to really look forward to in your married life; your bestfriend as your sister-in-law and living in the same home as you.

"So, change of topic but not really," She says in a careful tone, "-do you know what the Elites have been upto recently?"

You give her a disapproving look.

The Elites were the créme-de-la-créme of Bangtan.

They are the syndicate's best associates, raised by the Don to be his son's most loyal and strongest weapons for his reign as the Don. All of the Elite members were picked up each one as young orphans, raised alongside the Namjoon and were given equal opportunities to learn and grow with Bangtan.

"JungKook's been a headache," You start, and she chuckles, "Hoseok was in Busan the last time I heard from him which was this afternoon after I woke up with a teribble hangover,"

"I did tell you to watch how much you drink," She cuts you off.

"This is possibly the last time I could it, so no regrets from me," You shrug making her roll her eyes, "Jimin is hosting another charity event soon, Jin is being pestered for an heir, Suga and RM are f-ing secretive."

"and?" She prods.

"-and what?" You reply nonchalantly, pointedly ignoring her now wearing an icy glare at you.

"You know exactly what," She huffs, "What about Tae?"

"Helping Jimin host the event obviously." You say, like she should have figured it out already, "Yah, he's your fiancé, why not talk to him directly?"

"You know why." And you did, so you shut up. You stay silent for a while then ask, "Have you seen the Estate?"

"The Elite Estate?" You nod, "When they were working on it, I did visit sometimes and help out with the designing of it and stuff, but I haven't seen it once the boys started living there."

"Is it... nice?" You are unsure if it was an appropriate question to ask her. Was it odd to be curious of your future home?

From what you know, The Elite Estate was a gorgeous mansion tucked away among gorgeous trees and lush gardens and everything that made it worth the billions it cost. The Elites lived there and once you married RM, you would have to.

"It's gorgeous," Jangmi sighs blissfully, "It's worth every penny they spent on it and honestly, the designers did a splendid job!"

"Have you ever been there recently?"

"No," She shook her head, "It's sort of their bachelor pad as of now, of course it will change soon, but for now, I don't think any other mob-women has been there."

You frown, "Yeojin doesn't live there?" She's married to an Elite after all.

"They didn't want to live there apparently," Jangmi says, "-but I have a feeling that there's more to it and we will never know," and her doorbell rings. "I think Elise is here, I'll call you later?"

You hum, "-and help me pick out a dress to impress my in-laws,"

"Noona," Jungkook barged into your office dressed in a leather jacket, tight jeans and messy hair, "I heard something," He falls unceremoniously on your chair, propping his legs up your desk.

"Legs off the table, Kook!" You throw a crumpled piece of paper at him, which he catches expertly. He gives you a cheeky grin, raising his arms in the air and lowering his legs to the floor.

"I heard something," He repeats himself, swiveling the chair, "Do you wanna know what?" He asks, like you had a choice. The man would say what he wanted to say anyway. It was best to let him talk and bubble over.

"I have a meeting with the stockholders, Kook." You sigh. "Please be quick,"

"I heard that the Don summoned you." You roll your eyes and he laughed. The Elites were truly the biggest gossipers you knew. How did he even know that? You came to know about it last night and it wasn't even past eleven right now.

"I'll take you rolling your eyes as an yes."

"How did you even find out?" You ask, arranging your papers. "Don't tell me Appa has been going around telling everyone,"

"Actually," He grinned mischievously, "Joon Hyung told us."

"He...did?" You tilt your head, you hadn't expected him to be so open about the arrangement. Maybe you should've, the Elites were close, almost like brothers. So, this shouldn't be odd.

"Yes," Jungkook nodded, laugh still lighting his face, like he knew something you didn't. "He said it was about time, with you turning 25 and all,"

"So he knew I turned 25?" A wish would've been nice, if he kept track of your age. After all, you do send him flowers every year for his birthday. A 'happy birthday' on a post-it note would've made you happy too, at this point.

"Doesn't everyone know that?" The younger man shrugged his shoulders. Everyone did know. Bangtan kept track of the potential brides' and grooms' age. "Anyways, I can't wait for you to join us at the estate."

"Why?" You cock your head, looking at him in accusation. "So you can annoy me first thing in the morning?"

"Yes," Jungkook grins shamelessly, "Having to always drive across the city to bother you was tiring me out."

"Brat." You scoff. "I miss the shy, young Kookie."

"Too bad he's dead," He said, making you shake your head. You wanted to roll your eyes, mock him but you knew that he was right. The shy, innocent and cute Jeongguk was gone and in his place was JK, a man who was feared as much as any other seasoned made-man.

Your thoughts were interrupted when your secretary walked into the office. You watch in distaste as Jungkook gives her a flirty smile, a smile that has beckoned many women into his arms. The lady looks at him, eyes practically shining.

You could already feel where this was leading to, on any other day you'd have let it be -the two were adults and Juyeon was a pretty skilled secretary- but not today. Today, you needed your work done and you weren't about to let him whisk your secretary away for an escapade.

"Get lost now, Mr. J Swift."

Friday was here faster than you could think, and everything today was going very smoothly and yet, it was stifling you. There were no problems at work, Jangmi had helped you get ready -as much as she could all far away from London- and now you were waiting for the chauffeur.

When the bell rings, you almost stumble as you stand up carrying the confectionery box but your dad steadies you and lets you hug him, bid your byes and run over to the foyer.

You open the door to reveal a smiling Hoseok. "Hoseok?" you greet, not having expected an Elite to pick you up.

"Hello hello," He grinned, opening his arms. You smiled, waddling into his familiar warmth. He pats your head, as if you were still the little girl who came running to him for every and any minor inconvenience. "Are you ready to go? Everyone is waiting for you at the mansion!" His ever-cheery voice makes you smile, despite your nerves. "I didn't know I was getting chauffeured by the Jung Hoseok,"

"Of course, you'd get chauffeured," Hoseok says slyly, "The Don can't let anything happen to his darling daughter-in-law,"

"Not you too," You sigh. This is probably the hundredth time you are being called the Don's daughter-in-law today. The news of the Don summoning you to his home seemed to have made rounds everywhere in Bangtan, that no one wanted to address you as you anymore. It was the Don's daughter-in-law.

"It's not as bad as you are making it seem, Na," Hoseok tries to cajole you, "You are just getting married, so what?" He shrugs his shoulders, as if getting married was like buying bread, "Like hundreds of people have gotten married before you and hundreds will after, what's so special about it?"

"You mister-" You point a finger at him, "-are not the one to be giving me this bullshit. If getting married was easy, why don't you?"

"You know why," He sighs, as if even thinking of his broken marriage tires him out. You didn't actually, but you didn't press more.

"Haeji's a bitch who should rot in hell, that's why," You say rolling your eyes, which makes him breath a laugh.

"Come on, the Don doesn't like latecomers," He says, walking you down the stairs and opening the car door for you. You settle in, placing the box of pastries on your lap. He starts driving towards the Don's mansion and the conversation was chill between the two of you. You talk about your final days at work, your dad and other stuff.

You knew Hoseok since he joined Bangtan after your father and Don found him on one of their excursions. He lived with the Don's other Elite sons and your father took to him a lot more than he did any of the other Elites and chose him to take over after your father as the underboss of Bangtan. With your father training him, he was often over at your home from where you developed a friendship. You two always got along since your first meeting and he treated you like a little sister, which you liked because you didn't have an older sibling while the rest of the world seemed to have one. You liked that he doted on you, took your side in everything and bent to your every whim and truly was your brother, even when he wasn't.

When silence falls on you as you near the Don's mansion, he says, "RM will treat you right, okay?" Hoseok gives a reassuring smile, "You don't have to worry,"

"Sure, he will," You snort, "I'm his parents' favorite," You joke, trying to ease the nerves building in you.

Hoseok laughed, indulging you in your little joke, "I mean it, Namjoon will treat you right." You nod, taking a deep breath and exhaling. You hadn't realised just how nervous you were till he brought up the actual reason you were in his car.

When the finally drives through the iron wrought gates and into the driveway and round the fountain, you take a shaky breath in. The car stops, right at the foot of the marble stairs leading into the mansion. You stay inside hoping to gather yourself, but Hoseok pulls open the door all too soon and lends a hand to help you get out of the car in your stilettos.

"You look pretty," He says, in an effort to boost your morale, "Joon is a lucky man."

You ignore -more like, you didn't hear- what he said, "Will you drop me back home?" You look at him hopefully. You didn't want to drive back home alone.

He smiles in a reassuring way and says, "Yes," He pushes you forward slightly, "-go now. You don't want to keep them waiting." You nod, chewing on your lip.

Everything was going to be okay.

Your life won't be like your mother's.

You hold the box of pastries to your chest, and take a deep breath and take a step up the stairs.

You won't let it happen.

[ next ] Two : Dinner with the Kims, Drive with the Fiancé and Drinks with the Baeks

[ author's endnote ] i can't say i'm entirely satisfied with this chapter but i've a bit of a starting trouble and this chapter has been in my drafts for a while now. the chapter is a bit disjointed but this will have to do because I don't want to info-dump and decided that to be able to add more chapters and improve, i will have to post the odd first chapter. feedback, questions and reblogs are appreciated. leave a comment to let me know i'm not boring you. if you have any questions or just wanna talk my asks and dms are open! until the next chapter, lots of love and take care.

[ taglist ] [ if you want to be tagged comment on the post. @preciouschimine @aqueenieme @lookscutebutwillfight @ggukkieland ]

2021, August 29.

[akshverse]

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[angelicyoongie]

@lovelyloverlia @akshstudios Thank you both for thinking of me!!

All my works have been crossposted on my AO3 account since the beginning of my blog (and saved in Word documents on my computer), so I thankfully have back-ups of my stories! In case tumblr does purge creators, it’s probably a good idea to subscribe to my AO3 account or follow me on twitter to make sure you don’t miss out on future works! 

I hope any creators that weren’t aware of this change save their works and apply to join AO3 asap!! This probably won’t make a difference but let your voice be heard here: Post+ Survey Let the staff know that we don’t want Post+ !!

If you're a fanfiction author and you haven't done this already, start backing up all of your fics on a Google Drive.

When Post+ goes live (it will despite the backlash - Tumblr is owned by Automattic who also owns WordPress), it's going to be mass purge of fandom accounts.

You've probably already seen the posts going around stating that if you make fanworks, you legally cannot monetize (EDIT 2: APPARENTLY THIS IS FALSE. EXPLAINED HERE. Check sources and come to your own conclusions. I've been getting messages with different takes on this). As soon as the idiots at Automattic realize this (EDIT: actually, they definitely know this), they're going to purge fan creators. Why? Because they're also going to be dealing with lawsuits, not just the creators.

And they can write out all of the rules and terms and warnings they want before a user signs up for Post+, but that isn't gonna stop all of the fandom babies from Wattpad coming in thinking they can make money off of writing fanfiction. So the solution? Shadow banning all people who create for fandoms, driving us into a dark corner, and ultimately kicking us off the platform so it can bring in more outsiders and normies, therefore becoming more appealing to investors and advertisers.

I implore you, please read up on the history of fandoms and the great purges of fan content here and try to tell me that's not where we're headed.

(EDIT 3: What I'm trying to say is, I'm pretty sure that the big men up top want us gone so they can try to make this site profitable. Back your works up. Let your voice be heard. Know your roots as a fan. All hail AO3.)

[raplinesmoon]

Hello 🥺, I was watching Bhootnath the first with my younger cousins and maybe because I thought of BTS and bollywood too much last night, today when I saw the dynamic they —the ghost and the boy share, it reminded me of jinkook so so much —I can see the young baby koo playing bunkoo, the young boy in the story (not bunny koo, is it a coincidence?) and Jin playing Amitabh's role (as the ghost) I know it's an odd thing to think about and we'll never see this coming to life —but debut era kookie and an older Jin, still handsome and grumpy in his muddied/ghostified clothes. The ice cream scene, the breakfast scene everything reminded me of jinkook.

I don't know if you've watched it, but it was my childhood favorite 😍 and I completely blame you for giving me this new habit of reimagining bts members as lead stars in bollywood movies 🙃🤡🥴 It feels like you've ruined my movie rewatching experience 😂😂🤡

Anyways, I hope you are doing well, take care 💕

Waittt this is so sweet!!! 💕

I actually have never watched Bhootnath before, if your description and imagining Jinkook in the roles makes me want to watch it so bad! Like ancient spirit Jin watching over his little dongsaeng has my entire heart. And I never caught on that the little boy was named Bunkoo (what a lovely coincidence 🥰)

Keep your imagination going! I love hearing from you haha and I always imagine recasting Bollywood movies with the members (I thought of Wings Era Yoongi as Devdas the other day). I’m always here to listen to you talk about it, pls take care and accept my love 💕

[minniepetals]

I can't wait to see what more you have up your sleeves for cmar! Like the angst in the last two parts boiled me into mush 🥴 if the first chapter didn't hurt me enough the last two definitely did.. I mean it's one thing to see a barely-held-relationship breaking but to see a relationship form into something beautiful and then for it crumble right before our eyes.. 😖😭 It broke my heart and tear ducts —I like to think I'm an icy bitch but damn, I could've flood my home with my tears 🤡😅

Anyways, there's no rush.. take your time with your works! I hope you are doing well, take care 💕

hehe, that's exactly why i made part 2 and 3 the past story. we didn't know much about their background, part 1 being the present time of their relationship falling apart, but never understood how they fell in love and met. part 2 and 3 was, in a way, a prequel, which makes it all the more heartbreaking because at that point you already know how things will end but you're left to read their beginnings, y/n's struggles, and the secrets that were kept but never given the opportunity to expose itself, not before everything fell apart