#until like Christmas or smth
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I painted my phone case like the sheikah slate and while it was drying I freaking cracked my phone 😭
Visual representation of the crack ⬇️
The orange splotches are the only thing exaggerated here sadly
#beginner artist#art#fan artist#loz#loz botw#botw#zelda breath of the wild#breath of the wild#sheikah#sheikah slate#botw link#botw fanart#botw sheikah slate#phone case#cosplay prop?#cosplay prop#seriously help me tho#I can’t get a new phone#until like Christmas or smth#maybe even later#why did I have to accidentally throw my phone#down the stairs#and trip
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need to get my christmas gaz one shot started or it’ll be like late january that i end up getting around to posting it ://
but butch simon fic,,.,..,,, she calls to meeeeee
#i’m always late with holiday/themed fics#it’s the 16th and i only just thought to write smth for christmas……. i’m either dumb or or i love to stress myself#but also i’m having soooo much fun w the other one so i just don’t think it’s likely that ill work on it until i finish ateots#sorry bteots* ‘by the edge of the sun’ is the butch fic#stelle yaps#i’m tied#kinda#plus i want to write more for gaz#he’s my man and yet i’ve only got four fics (five if we count the nameless challenge but that can’t go under his name)
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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I wonder if there’s actually people that would pay me to draw for them lol
#random post#like. how would I even market myself#everything I’ve made since Christmas has a different vibe and look to it#and everything I’ve done digitally overall has a different feel to it all too#idk. I really am down for whatever (sfw wise as I don’t have enough practice in more adult things lol)#like. I can draw humanoid characters. anthro characters. full animal characters. with a ref I can draw robots or in specific media styles#with my own flair obviously. I can’t get styles EXACTLY like the source material lol. I’m always down to try smth new#I’m not fazed by suggestive material or horror stuff#idk man. I like to think I’m talented and can do things but I can’t exactly KNOW until I actually DO this stuff#anyways uhhh if you wanna help me practice.... you should hit up my inbox with requests 👉👈 I’m down
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Oh, I'm not saying that our freaks (beloved) are not allowed to wear strange fashion—that is not what I meant at all. I personally do not like the jacket itself, nothing more, nothing less, but that does not mean that Vespa would not look spectacular in it. I am thinking of it contrasted against the (hypothetical, approved, adored) pink hair, which is where my dislike of it is coming from.
However, speaking of hair, I do wonder if Vespa's ever had her hair dyed a frosty sea green. I feel that it would look spectacular, but perhaps I am blinded by my lack of visualization and bias towards the color. And if her hair were ever to be dyed this color, Buddy's hair would be a far more vivid sort of red, more of a flaming sort of shade than sunset, if that makes any sense.
Xoxo,
Tattoo Jet Anon
P.S. If you were to know who I am, you would be quite surprised and shocked to learn that this is an opinion that I hold—on the jacket, that is, not Vespa's hair.
Confession: Pink Hair Vespa would not fuck in that jacket. Green Hair Vespa would. And that- is my personal opinion. Vespa is meant to wear tech-wear in my hc, and pink hair and green hair Vespa wear different outfits but they are still both tech-wear.
And in my hc yes Vespa has had frosty green hair. Vespa Green Hair is as fluent as the Ruby7 green. Perhaps at some point mid S3 itbwas dyed to match the Ruby.
Personal hc that Buddy kept her hair the same shade of red that Vespa last saw her with. Even when she was rotting away, baking in the sun, Buddy kept her hair the same vibrancy in hopes Vespa and her would cross paths, and Vespa would remember her.
And I am afraid I do not know you Jet Tattoo Anon, but I'll take your word for it.
@one-joe-spoopy @urjover
#unlike with secret fifth i cannot unravel and solve this mystery#i didnt know jove until christmas last year so i most certainly have no clue who you are#much easier apparently to track down my own follower from anonymous asks#i digress. ive been reminded of a character i have for an abandoned storyline who was loosely based on Vespa#Nan was so much fun for me bc zey played all sides of the board. good and evil. was a hero and a villain.#and wore tech-wear. maybe thats why i hc vespa like that. im getting my wires crossed or smth#jet tattoo anon#private eye's keys go jingle jangle
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summary: in which there is never enough time to be in love but jungkook is a 24/7 lover. (part one)
idol!jk x afab!reader / fluffy fluff with a dash of angst / word count: 3.6k
warnings/content: jungkook takes a day off and surprises oc <3 ; he's veryyy touchy; he gives oc's boobie a lil bite lol this guy ; s*xual innuendos; one (1) spank; oc comforts him :(; bam is home too!!; family is complete
→ in which masterlist!
note: smth short and sweet so i can recover from dreamboat loool missed my babies sm <3 as always reblog and/or feedback is very much appreciated! <3
p.s. i'm also redoing my iw taglist so pls comment/send an ask if you want to be (re)/added!
—
“baby? i’m home.”
you’re confident to say that you’d never mistake jungkook’s voice for anyone else’s. and on that note, you must be dreaming of him— the voice of an angel, the calloused palms cupping your cheeks… the audible and damp kisses delicately being peppered all over your face. everything feels so real. too real. just like how it used to be.
it hasn’t been long since you last saw him. you communicate and meet whenever it’s possible, no matter how short the time he is allowed to dedicate. still, you miss him all the time, everyday. you keep telling yourself it’s not that bad. time is passing by faster than you feared. but this whole set-up is foreign and daunting. and you miss him. you miss him all the time. that must be why you’re dreaming.
when you open your eyes in the morning, you’ve come to expect nothing more than the view of the plain white ceiling, or the sunlight peeking from behind the curtains.
so why are you gawking at jungkook’s face?
he smiles from ear-to-ear, bunny teeth and crinkles around his eyes— you can’t be mistaken. it’s him. it feels as though your heart has been shocked and revived.
“jungkook!” you gasp.
you startle your own self when you abruptly throw your arms around him. he tries to hold you up, but you’re far too ecstatic for your own good, inexplicable joy thrumming in your veins and fireworks bursting in your ribcage. you squeal and jump up and down on the bed like a little kid on christmas morning; jungkook hugs you back tighter than he has ever done before, protecting you from the fall and crash.
“oh my god, you’re here! you’re here!”
“yes, i’m here-” he laughs in amusement. “ow shit, settle down- wow, it’s so early. why are you so energetic-”
“i missed you!” you briefly pause for oxygen. “so much! i’m never letting go of you again!”
“wow!” he makes a dramatic wheezing sound. “that much, baby? you missed me that much?”
“that much!”
you draw back with a pout, just enough so you can look at each other, nodding your head probably too fast— you’re almost dizzy. adrenaline tide calming into waves, you’re catching your breath.
are you certain that this is not your imagination playing tricks on you?
“you’re here…” you slowly say. it’s only registering to your whiplashed brain. there is barely any feeling in your arms as you touch his face, an attempt at separating wishful thinking and reality. “why are you here?”
“why else?” he grins toothily. “because you said you were missing me.”
your attempt at forming words is rudely interrupted. he steals a kiss, this thief… hard and hungry, keeping you in place by his palm cradling the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair.
he pulls away with a satisfied hum, tongue darting out to swipe over his lips. “and because i was missing you more.”
for a moment, you gaze at each other in silence. you’re still neck deep in disbelief and euphoria. that kiss took your breath away. under the circumstances, you shall yield and admit that he misses you more. he requests for developed photos of you when you come visit. that’s something you never imagined you’d have to do.
he tries to tame your messy hair, smoothing it down until he’s holding your cheeks lovingly. “i mean, what else was i supposed to do? i miss waking up to this pretty face everyday.”
you pucker your lips in response, demanding for a kiss. this earns a chuckle from him before he grants your wish. an unintelligible noise of joy escapes your mouth as you jump and hug him again. it is shortly followed by a yelp when he whisks you off the bed without warning, spinning you ‘round and ‘round… ‘round… and ‘round… and…
your laughter soon transforms into horror.
“jungkook!” you scream with your eyes squeezed shut and your legs curled around his waist. “okay! stop it! i’m getting dizzy!”
the crazy bastard keeps on giggling as if he doesn’t hear a thing. you always expect these reunions to be so emotional, but when jungkook is here, it feels as though he never left.
“jungkook!”
you hook your leg around his, causing the two of you to collapse on the soft mattress. you land on top of him with a whimper. you breathe out a sigh, relieved that the nausea-inducing ride is over.
“that was fun.” he speaks next to your ear; the sensation makes you squirm.
“it was,” you push yourself up to search for more air, a little sweaty after yours and jungkook’s hyperness took control of your bodies. “for the first five seconds.”
you’re now properly straddling him, ass on his crotch. it’s accidental, but nothing new. nay, comfortable. this level of proximity won’t feel like intimacy with somebody else. goddamn, you missed your boyfriend so much.
a big, sleepy yawn zaps your attention from him. you cover your face with both hands, wandering into the darkness for a little while. you find that your mind is devoid of any thought. perhaps you’re more overwhelmed than you let on.
“missed this view too…” he reveals amidst the haze, a distinct change in the tone of his voice.
there they are— the butterflies in his stomach, slaves to you and only you. he breathes through his parted lips as he caresses your thighs with tenderness bleeding from his fingertips, your skin so smooth and soft in contrast to his calloused palms. his lips curve into a drunken smile when you graze his greedy hands, as though granting them permission, before they slip inside the magenta velvet of your night dress. the material bunches over his forearms as he reaches for your hips. it leaves almost nothing to the imagination (in his case: memory). his attention is stolen by your cotton panties. light taupe. decorated by white polka dots.
“this one’s new.” he comments.
you peer down to figure out what he meant. right, he’s never seen this before. “surprise! you like it?”
“yes, it’s cute.” he toys with the little ribbon at the center of the waistband. “you rarely get this color.”
“thanks. i think my taste is changing.”
“really?”
“mhmm…”
his hands venture up to your waist, kneading at the flesh and reacquainting with the feel of you. he’s been pissed off at the thought of forgetting what it feels like to touch you, knowing your body like the back of his hand. he hasn’t been away from you for extended periods of time since their last tour. that was years ago.
for maximum comfort, he sits up and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. “let’s move here.” he carries you with him, back comfortable leaning against the headboard, while you remain sitting pretty on his lap. “bam was sleeping on my side of the bed when i arrived.”
“huh…?” you blink.
“you didn’t know?”
you shake your head innocently, a tad distracted by your eyes roaming his naked torso. he looks absolutely ravishing as ever. did something already change from the last time you saw him?
“i tucked him into his bed last night.”
you visited bam at the training facility after work yesterday, but he kept trying to follow you as you were leaving. your fragile heart caved and you brought him home for the weekend. you texted jungkook about it but he didn’t respond; as much as that made you sad, you figured he was just tired or he used his phone time to talk to his family.
you spent the whole night playing with bam and watching his favorite dog entertainment channel on youtube. the house wasn’t dead silent for once. you fell asleep together on the couch until you woke up at 2am and tucked him and yourself into your respective beds. it was easy to fall back to sleep after, but it felt weird that you didn’t need an audiobook or hours of calming sounds of nature.
you’re not whining. there have been a lot of sunny and happy days. you have wonderful people in your life who act as your support system in their own unique ways, but jungkook and bam… they’re your family. you made your peace with no longer having one, but now that you’ve built your own, having to be apart from them makes your heart ache.
“did he sneak in to sleep next to you? he does that now?” he makes a surprised face. “what’s this? i’m so jealous of him!”
a pinch in your heart.
you try your best to conceal a frown, but your poor choice of words paints your disappointment. “you’re not-” you avoid his eyes. “staying the night?”
“yah, you don’t have to look so sad. i can stay, baby.”
“you can?” your face lights up.
“for you, i’ll make it happen.” he cheeses, affectionately tapping the tip of your nose like it’s a button to make you smile. “i’m only working hard in there to earn more days off, you know that?”
that makes you frown.
“babe, don’t do that…” you whine, shaking his shoulders. “you don’t need to work so hard. only do what is required of you. i just want you to be healthy.”
“no… just let me.” he replies with finality. “i need… i need a reason. you’re the reason why i’m still hanging in there, and i don’t want to miss another anniversary.”
he bats his eyelashes.
“being your boyfriend is my favorite job in the whole world.”
and how are you supposed to argue with one of his most heart-fluttering, most wholesome lines yet?
you sigh in defeat. “then you can rest when you’re with me.”
“i love you.”
“i love you, too.”
you lean in to kiss him, but are interrupted when he yawns. your forehead ends up resting against his as you giggle uncontrollably at the unexpected and hilarious view of his open mouth.
“sleepy?”
he bows his head in embarrassment, body vibrating with laughter. “i couldn’t sleep because i was so excited. i wanted to talk to you last night but i was so sure i’d spoil the surprise.”
“of course you couldn’t.” you giggle, removing yourself from his lap while tugging at the collar of his shirt. “come here. let’s sleep some more.”
you lie down on the bed facing each other. jungkook moans in contentment as you engulf him in your embrace, nuzzling his face against your chest. he can smell your body wash, sweet and clean. that— that isn’t new. every muscle in his body decompresses. he needed this, needed you. desperately. tremendously. you pull the thick and warm blanket over yourselves and he melts. while he wishes he was taller, he knows he is still of considerable height. he’s been bulking up, getting stronger than before too. but he doesn’t give a fuck about those at the moment. he’s not even aware. his body fits perfectly with yours— that’s all he knows. oh… he’s melting. but it doesn’t feel like he’s being reduced. he has everything to gain. this is heaven on earth.
he opens his eyes into an awful squint, faced by your cleavage spilling out from the neckline of your night dress. there’s this urge he can’t ignore. it’s not spelt out in his mind, he rather feels like his body is having a fit. next thing he knows, he’s carefully sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of the swell of your boob. he stays still for a few seconds, and then pulls away once he deems himself satisfied. he wipes your skin with his thumb incase he left some saliva, innocent eyes peeking up at you huffing out a quiet laugh.
“you sure that’s all you needed?”
“i’ll devour you later.” he smirks, blinking sluggishly. “i’m tired but just you wait. i’ll go all night!”
“not if i beat you to it…” you tease, having plans of your own. you want to make him feel good. you’ve been going insane thinking about it. “missed you.”
“alright then, let’s do it at the same time.” he says suggestively.
“you know i have a hard time focusing when we do that.” you huff.
“eh, so? not me.” he chuckles. “i think you do a really great job, though?”
“…still! go easy on me a little bit so i can do better.”
“it’s not a competition, baby.” he squeezes your waist affectionately. “plus, i don’t think i’d be able to control myself once i get a taste.”
“jungkook!” you whine, growing flustered.
he laughs out loud, giving your ass a quick spank that resounds through the walls of the bedroom.
it becomes silent again after that.
the tip of your nails graze his scalp with repeated movements, more so for your amusement, but he is practically purring. you can’t imagine your arm being a comfortable pillow either, but he is doing great at making it appear so.
“i realized something.”
“what is it?”
“i really can’t live without you.” he confesses earnestly, then looks up at you with raised eyebrows. “don’t say anything. i know you’ll say something like ‘yes, you can!’”
“i was not. i liked hearing you say it.” you stifle a giggle. “but i’m not going anywhere. you know that.”
“i don’t doubt that.” he sighs with a heavy chest. “sometimes i just get a bit worried that you’d get tired of waiting.”
this isn’t the first time in your relationship that he’s voicing out this fear, but the difference between then and now is stark. with the disconnection, there was a part of you that expected it to resurface.
“babe,” you gently tilt up his face, locking your sincere and love-filled eyes with his. “we’re okay. i’ve loved you since i was 18. this? this is nothing. you’re a part of me, so you’re always with me. and i know you keep me with you too.”
you wear a brave face. you hope that he believes your words as much as you do, because no matter how many boulders the universe throws down your path, all you ever think about is how you and jungkook will surmount them. together. he is your partner after all.
“we’ll get through it like we always do, baby boy.”
jungkook nods and smiles, doe eyes glittering. you love making that happen. “sorry, i think i scared myself when i read stories on the internet.”
“our story is different!”
the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.
“no, seriously-” he cackles, a little breathless.
“we’re one of a kind!” you keep the joke running. you want to keep making him laugh, even if it’s only for a few seconds longer.
“we’ve gone through so much bullshit. not everyone would fight as hard as we did!” jungkook passionately agrees with the same intensity. “you’re right, we always make it work. we’ll get through it like we always do.”
“trust me,” you charmingly implore him. “when was i ever wrong?”
“never!” he immediately shakes his head. “…atleast not about the things that matter.”
“okay,” you shrug. “i’ll take it.”
“goodnight kiss, please.” he cutely pleads.
wild guess: he went home to be babied. not that you’re complaining. this is miles better than having to wrestle him over who gets to be the big spoon. you love giving love. when your heart stops beating, it would be great to celebrate how much you were loved, but you also wish to be remembered as a person who gave love until their last breath.
“goodnight, my love.” you coo, well aware that the sun has risen.
you plant a tender kiss on his forehead. the complaint bubbling in his throat is swallowed when you lean in closer to reach his lips. with his wish fulfilled, he flutters his eyes closed and snuggles as close to you as possible, real and proper rest finally within his grasp. he basks in your warmth and the tranquilizing silence— his breathing steady and his heart at its calmest. beautiful things enter his mind. you are the sun on the first spring day; the clouds that go with him no matter the distance; the waves that kiss the shore and never fail to come back. he heals in places he didn’t know he was hurting.
“hold on, where is bam then?”
“his house. i gave him some treats then he slept again…” his voice comes out muffled. he sniffles jokingly. “the reaction was kind of underwhelming. i think he didn’t miss me as much.”
“of course he’d choose that over a human.”
“i bribed him too early.” he laments.
“wait…” he feels you come to a still. “i think he’s coming.”
he opens his eyes and copies you in focusing on the familiar sound of bam’s paws clicking against the floor. the mattress quakes and he lifts his head to find the dog climbing over your bodies.
he’s seriously a large and tall dog.
“bam, what are you doing here?!”
bam tilts his head and stares back at jungkook, tail wagging as his dad laughs and pets him on the head down to his back.
“he’s so adorable.” you squeal quietly, joining in and scratching under his chin. “i love you, bam.”
bam’s eyes switch to you. he slowly lowers his head, giving your hand a tentative lick as if to show appreciation but he’s also worried that it would prompt you to stop.
“he’s gotten real heavy, huh?”
“he’s got some big muscles like you.”
“of course! he got it from me.”
jungkook’s proud smile drops a little. it morphs into pure fondness once bam starts sniffing at him. he yelps and dramatically falls back, wiping his wet cheek with the back of his hand, but it’s game over once bam pants with excitement. bam chases his face to attack him with his love language.
you watch the scene from the sidelines, laughing so hard that your sides are beginning to hurt. you wish you were recording. you wish that you never forget this.
“okay, okay! you’re happy to see me! i see that now!” jungkook laughs, squeezing bam in a tight hug for a moment.
the dog still refuses to relent, however. they almost look like they’re fighting to the death but the truth is they’re just smothering each other with affection. unbeknownst to them, you make a pained face when one of them accidentally hits your arm multiple times. nevermind, they were definitely both culprits.
“____! save me!” your boyfriend cries out.
he bulldozes through bam and shoves himself into the tiny space he previously, and peacefully, occupied minutes before. he’s squeezing you so tight, nearly crushing you as he laughs with tears in his eyes. they affectionately call it his elmo laugh, the fans, which you adore just as much.
you see it before you hear it. bam makes that face when he’s about to bark. your hush comes out at the same exact second as his barking.
“this is so chaotic!” you try to project your voice louder than everybody else’s.
jungkook’s laughs quieter but harder, if that makes any sense.
you have an arm around jungkook that holds him taut and protected, while the other is busy with getting bam to settle down. you slide your palm across his fur in repeated motions, focusing on the spots that cause his eyes to flutter in relaxation.
“shhh, bam. it’s still too early. let daddy rest first. we can tire him out again later, okay?”
he settles on top of your bodies again. he has stopped moving around, but then he makes that face again, and you really love your healthy sense of hearing.
“behave, bam-” you playfully squeeze his cheeks together before scratching under his chin. “my cutie bam. you can do that for me, right? you’re a good boy! i’m sure you understand.”
he abandons the urge to bark, suddenly fixing his position so you can also scratch at his chest. you almost snort at how funny he looked obeying you on accident because he is begging to be petted.
“that’s right. good job, bam.” you coo, sending him a pleased smile. “you’re so smart. you listen so well.”
you whisper to jungkook. “it’s so cute when it looks like he really understands what i’m saying.”
“it’s the way you talk to him.” he answers quietly, placing tiny kisses along your collarbone. “you’re so sweet.” he almost forgot how good you are with bam. he just fell in love with you all over again.
“but it’d be cooler if he does understand me.” you hum, moving your hand on bam’s head. he finally decides to flop down then. he rests his head over your waist, eyes seemingly inching closer to sleepiness. you sigh in relief. “go to sleep too, baby.”
jungkook breaks the silence a moment later.
“…did you mean me or bam?”
“you!” you chuckle.
“oh-” he laughs at his own foolishness. his arm that is supposed to be hooked around your waist rests over bam’s body instead. he ruffles the dog’s fur softly. “let’s all go to sleep.”
you let out a yawn in response to that. you sniffle, murmuring tiredly. “i love you, baby… your surprise made me so happy. i’ll make it up to you too.”
“i love you more…”
jungkook lifts his head and finds that you have closed your eyes. your chest rises and falls in a calm rhythm. bam is closely following you into dreamland.
heavens, what he wouldn’t give so he could stay here forever and never leave again.
his eyes are heavy with exhaustion, hot with sleepy tears, but he fights his own body to stay awake. with all his might, he gazes in awe at the beauty of a life with you. he wants to always remember what is waiting for him at home.
#jungkook#jungkook drabble#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenario#jungkook one shot#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#bts fluff#bts reaction
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how do you think lighter would handle the reader after learning it is going to be their first time aka a virgin reader x lighter
Lighter and Virgin!Reader
🍓Yayay! I wanted to really take my time to write this one, so sorry that I didn't get it out super quick. Wrote it while listening to Christmas music btw, probably gonna write smth smutty for Christmas now. I've never written full-on smut outside of an RP setting so... apolocheese if this is cringe. You can throw tomatoes at me, I will eat them like the rodent I am.
Minors DNI
TW: NSFW; First time!; sickeningly sweet lighter; grammar errors probably lol (I promise I edit my stuff).
Info: Lighter x Reader; Nsfw; Fluffy; no pronouns but reader is fem bodied
Lighter is, and always has been, a rather simple man. While he loves you and respects you more than anything in the world, he too has thoughts that any man might have. It was only natural that he found you... mmm... titillating. You were his partner after all, and you were very good-looking if you asked him.
So many times he's found you on his lap, or beneath him whichever comes easiest at the time, drowning in your sweet lips. His hands wandered over your clothed sides, desperate for a taste of the real thing. He was addicted to you, and sweet candies couldn't placate him this time. It was heavenly having you in his grasp, so very close to everything he'd been dreaming about.
The only issue was that you always seemed to have some excuse to push him away. He'd fisted his cock one too many times alone in his room after another failed encounter, and he just didn't get it. You always seemed so eager, so pliant, right up until he slid his hands below your shirt.
The second his fingers made contact with the soft, oh-so-tempting skin there you would jump like he'd burned you. Then you'd push his eager hands down and come up with some lame reason to leave. He understood that maybe you weren't ready, that was okay, but didn't you feel safe enough to tell him? No, surely something else was going on. He could tell, there was something else that was holding you back, and he was going to figure it out.
Tonight would be the perfect chance to do just that. The girls were busy doing their own thing at the bar, leaving him with all the free time in the world to be alone with you. As usual, he had you on his lap, mouths working against each other. His tongue pressed into yours, happily exploring its space as he swallowed up your whimpers and whines.
Fingers press into your thighs like a vice, desperate for all the skin they can get their hands on. As you wind your fingers into his hair, he takes it as his sign to slide his hands up to your hips, slowly pressing you down into him. You jolt a little in his grasp, drawing a low chuckle from the back of his throat. So cute.
You pull back from him, a thin string of saliva keeping you connected, eyes wide and face flushed. Your chest heaves with effort, and your hair is an absolute disaster. It makes his cock twitch in his jeans, another gasp falling from your pretty swollen lips at the sensation.
"Lighter..." You say breathlessly, and he knows its meant to be a scolding remark, but he just finds it too cute.
He cocks his head to the side, "What? Too much to handle?"
You give him an eye roll that is all too endearing, trying and failing to straighten out your messy hair, "It's getting late, I should probably head to mine soon."
His smile falls from his face, disappointed again, like clockwork. He can't even find it in himself to hide it anymore, which makes you frown too. You press a kiss on his cheek, apologetically, "What's wrong? Why is my champion pouting?"
The pet name is almost enough to get him to forget everything, but then you shift on his lap a little and his hard-on screams at him to at least get some kind of answer. So he sighs, patting the meat of your thigh almost sadly, "Why do you always do that?"
You raise an eyebrow, which he mirrors. You know better than to play dumb, Lighter can see right through the schtick. Your demeanor cracks first, and you seem genuinely nervous as you respond, "I don't know..."
"Listen, baby. If you're not ready all you gotta do is tell me--" He tries to soothe you, because he doesn't want you to be upset. There was no shame in just not being ready, but you cut him off before he can finish his reassurances.
"No, it's not-" A grumble leaves your chest, "I want to, I really do I just... I get nervous."
It's his turn to raise an eyebrow at you, sunglasses slanting down his nose as he tilts his head curiously, "What's there to be nervous about...?"
You fluster, looking anywhere your eyes can find that wasn't him. You were awfully cute when you were embarrassed, but he couldn't let himself get distracted. With the gentlest touch to your chin, he refocuses your attention on him. A reassuring smile on his face, urging you without words to tell him what was wrong.
Some kind of war goes on behind your pretty little eyes, and he has to tap your lip with his thumb to center you again. You pout against the finger, and it takes everything in him not to push it up and into your mouth. Finally, after what seemed like ages of waiting, you give another sigh. "I'm... a virgin."
"Oh," he says, automated like a robot. It takes his brain a moment to click the gears together, but once they do, he nods. Oh. That makes so much sense.
"I'm sorry," you mumble, pressing off his chest to get up, but he tugs you back into his lap. Giving you a reassuring squeeze, praying to whatever there was out there for you to give him a moment to collect his thoughts.
It really isn't a big deal to him, not at all. He'd taken people's virginity before - former partners he doesn't even remember the names of - but you. Getting to be your first? It felt like the world had both blessed and cursed him at the same time. You didn't have a good frame of reference, which was great. He'd be the best partner you've had. Yet... he'd also be the only partner you've had, and that was a lot of pressure to put on a guy like him.
"Lighter?" You squeak out, face all nervous and cute in a way that just drives him wild.
A huff leaves him before he can think better of it, causing you to frown a little. His arms wrap around your middle, tugging you closer to him, "That's all? Here you had me thinking you weren't attracted to me all of a sudden."
The response takes you off guard, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Had you genuinely thought that would be a turn-off for him? What do you take him for, some prude? "I- I mean, you know... I don't have any experience, and I figured since... since you had it would just-"
He hushes you, trying his best not to laugh at how ridiculous the thought is. Most guys would leap to be in his shoes, it was a loser's wet dream to take some innocent angel like you and ruin you. Not Lighter, though. Despite how many times he'd fucked his hand thinking about your pretty little body, he would make sure your first time was perfect. He really needed it to be perfect.
"I don't care about that, baby." There's a teasing lilt in his tone that sends shockwaves down your spine, "I just want you to be happy."
It was your turn to be dumbfounded, staring at him like he had spoken forbidden texts in tongues you didn't understand. He tilts your head with the hand still holding your chin, and it's incredibly sexy the way his sunglasses dip a little so you can see the genuineness in his eyes.
"Would it make you happy if I took your virginity?" You give a slow, dumb nod, and he presses closer, "Do you wanna try tonight?"
Lighter watches with thinly veiled amusement as the pieces slip into place for you, face so warm he could feel it at this distance. You seem to have stalled a bit, so he gives you an award-winning smile and taps your lips to remind you to use them.
"Yes. Please." You blurt out, and it's so incredibly unsexy and awkward, but he still bites his lip like you were sex incarnate.
He gives you all but three seconds to admire the (so, so incredibly hot) look on his face before he's picking you up with no effort, hands wrapped under the swell of your ass like they were made to be there. You cling to his shoulders like a lifeline, and his cock strains in his stupidly tight jeans as he imagines you doing so without the jacket between your skin.
"Where are we going?" You ask, voice uneasy.
He smirks at you, "You didn't seriously think I was gonna let your first time be on some dingy outdoor couch, did you?"
You're silent all the way to his quarters after that, warm face buried into the crook of his shoulder. He can feel how nervous you are in the shaky breaths you let puff out onto his neck. He gives your butt a reassuring pat, which only makes you burrow yourself further into his neck.
He doesn't get to see your face again until he carefully lies you on his bed, and he's glad for it too. The nervous shimmer in your eyes would've been enough for him to bend you over any surface in a heartbeat. Your teeth nibble awkwardly on your swollen bottom lip, and he resists the urge to take it in between his own, instead busying his hands with shrugging off his jacket so he doesn't do exactly that.
You look near terrified when he climbs on top of you, so leans down to kiss your forehead, and in the gentlest voice he can muster whispers, "We'll go slow, but we gotta take our clothes off if we wanna do anything, m'kay?"
You give him a slow nod, slowly drifting your eyes down to his tight-fitting t-shirt. Once you seem to calm a little, he leans down and starts right where you left off. Capturing your lips in a soft kiss, slowly easing back into the passion from earlier. His hips press into yours, but they remain still against your heat. He would let you decide when you were ready for that again.
His hands eagerly slid around your thighs, squeezing the fat between his fingers and sighing as they sank against his touch. Always so malleable, it was addictive, but he couldn't get ahead of himself. This was all about you, after all.
Slowly, he inched his digits up to the edge of your shirt, pooling the fabric between them. You give a little jolt, pressing against his crotch a little harder than he expected drawing a hiss from between his teeth. He rubs his nose against yours, "Can we get rid of your shirt?"
Another slow, unsure nod, and he's easing you up just enough that he can tug the offending fabric up and out of the way. (No bra, thank god, he sucks at removing them.) The sight it reveals better than Lighter could've begun to imagine. Your chest rises and falls with your breath, mesmerizing him. You give him an unsure smile, nodding your head along with it, and he thinks he might genuinely die tonight.
He does not suddenly go into cardiac arrest, so instead his hands glide over your stomach, and it's everything he dreamed of and more. The skin is like heaven beneath his calloused fingertips, and the light whimpers and whines you give him are honey in his ears. You shift with every touch, jerking away and then easing into his touch. Unsure, but oh so willing and wanting.
He maps out each inch of your skin like he might lose his way exploring it, tracing all the way to the final destination of your chest. Your nipples are hard already in combination with his touching and the cold air around you. He gives you one last look, one last chance to tell him no, and then he runs his thumb over the tops of them.
The sound you make is delicious, something between a moan and a strangled choking noise -- almost confused at the pleasure you are feeling. He rolls them in his fingers a few times, watching your face intently as he does so. Your confused moans melt into sighs of contentment, so he decides to try his luck with his mouth. With your head rolled back, he ensures you can feel his breath before he presses his tongue to your skin.
You shoot up, gasping in surprise, but you don't make any move to push him away. No, instead you rake your fingers through his hair, pushing his shaggy bangs back so you can really look at him. Those emerald eyes lock with yours, making a show of slowly kissing his way back up to your chest. Along the contours of your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, and finally right down to your perky bud.
Lighter takes a moment to really appreciate just how nice it looks up close, rather than through the fabric of your tank tops. Just the perfect size for sucking on, he thinks right before he engulfs the needy thing in his mouth. You throw your head back, chest hefting with your cry of "Fuck, Lighter."
He hums, only making it so much worse for you, the vibrations sending a shock through your body that makes you twist your hips just right. He takes his sweet time with your breasts, alternating between the two until you're a messy puddle below him. He hadn't even gotten past the waistband of your pants yet, and you were already so far gone. It was an ego booster, to say the least.
His free hand draws its way down your stomach, stopping at the edge of your pants. They dance their way along your abdomen, just itching to be let in, but not willing to disrespect your boundaries. Lucky for him, they don't have to wait long, and your own join him and carefully aid him in their removal.
It's then that he finally gives your chest a break, pulling back to tug your pants down your legs. Giving himself the time to finally admire you. He'd left... more than a few purple marks along your chest, all of which he thinks look incredibly nice in the light of the moon. His eyes trace their way down your stomach, just like his hands had, and land on the underwear you still had on.
They weren't particularly cutesy or sexy, but on you, it was the hottest thing he'd seen in years. They had a sizable wet spot in the middle, right where he wanted- no, needed to be. The only thing standing between him and tasting you was that thin piece of fabric.
A tug at the hem of his shirt draws him out of his daze, meeting eyes with your cute, nervous ones. It takes him a second to realize you wanted his shirt off, but once he gets the message, he wastes no time in shrugging it to the ground. Following it with his pants, leaving him in his boxers.
Your eyes trace their way along his figure, over his shoulders, across his stomach, and settle shyly on the outline of his dick. It only occurs to him then that you might find him just as attractive as he finds you. With eyes blown wide and distracted as you drink him all in, it's hard to avoid how much you're admiring the view right now.
He has the decency to act embarrassed, despite how he was practically drooling all over you just a few moments ago. He shivers when you reach up and trace your fingers over a scar, breath catching in his throat. "They're so pretty," you mutter, completely unaware that you had said that out loud. It could honestly make him cry. The way you look at him like he's some kind of art piece. So much love and admiration in your eyes. He can't handle it for long, even though you seem to be content just admiring his scars.
He grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers together as he presses you back into the mattress. You let out a huff as he pressed his forehead to yours, pouting now that he had interrupted your show. He gives you a few apologetic kisses, smiling at your pouting.
"Are you sure you wanna keep going, we can stop now if you want," he whispers, soft and gentle.
You nod, confident this time, "I'm ready. I wanna do this with you, Lighter. Not anyone else."
That makes his heart swell, sending the feeling right down to his dick, throbbing and reminding him he needs to prepare you. He wasn't usually one to brag, but he knew he was big, and it would be a tough take for your first time. If he wanted you to enjoy it, he'd have to take care to loosen you up first.
"Okay," he hums, reaching over to grab the lube and condoms from his nightstand, setting them nearby for when he needs it, "I'm gonna have to loosen you up first, and it's gonna hurt. You sure you can take it?"
He feels your muscles contract as he trails gentle, feather-light pecks along the edge of your underwear. "You'll take care of me, just like you always do..." Ah, you were gonna be the death of him tonight, he just knows it.
He hooks his fingers over the sides of your underwear, carefully tugging them down your legs like unwrapping a present he didn't want to ruin. What a gift he received as he threw the useless fabric to the floor, your pretty little cunt already drooling for him.
"God..." He mutters out, enchanted at the very sight. He adjusts his position one last time, making sure he is perfectly positioned in front of your gorgeous pussy. The view is something straight out of a porno, Lighter's messy hair shadowing his eyes as they stare into your very being, big hands gripping at your thighs -- like he was readying himself to consume you whole.
"You ready, baby?" He asks one last time, though it's painfully hard to do so now that he was literally right where he wanted to be, "Cause if you're not you better say so now, I don't think I could stop myself once I start, angel."
You give him the slowest nod known to man, followed by a timid little 'yes' and he's gone. His strong arms wrap under and rest atop your thighs, carefully pulling your folds apart to reveal the shining pearl he'd been dreaming of. Involuntarily he huffs out a hot breath, causing you to squirm a little in his grasp, and then he leans down and kisses your clit.
You jolt at the new sensation, another awkward breathy moan leaving your lips. He pulls back to give you a second, watching your expressions and committing them all to mind, and then he licks his lips and leans down for another wet kiss against your neglected bud. Then another, and another, and another, and at some point his tongue joins the barrage but you have no idea when. Too caught up in how good he's making you feel. So much better than your own fingers.
Lighter is in heaven, completely surrounded by nothing but you. Your little sighs, your skin, your sweet smell, and of course your juices dripping down his chin. You tasted so amazing, better than all the candies he ate. He swallowed you like a man starved, arguably more desperate for your pleasure than you were. Your little whines of his name only fueled him to suck on the little bud like a sweet treat, humming at the taste.
He wondered how many more moans he could get out of you if he added a finger... He had to stretch you out anyway, seems like now was better a time than any. One hand unwound itself from under your leg, snaking along the sheets right up under your bum.
Without taking his eyes or mouth off you he gently traces around your hole with his middle and index. Your hips grind up into his mouth, and he feels the way you clench against his fingertips. A smile grows on his face, god you were adorable, weren't you? He presses the tip of his finger into your heat, and you squeeze around it sucking him in like nothing.
"Shit..." He groans against you, the grumble going right through your nerves drawing a delicious moan out of you. He slowly pumps his finger at the same pace as his tongue, when it rolls across your clit, the finger presses up into you again. The white, hot pleasure that curls up your spine and through your body makes you arch your back. If he kept it up like this, you would cum faster than you ever had before.
Unfortunately, he pulls back and you whine like a needy child. He presses his thumb to your clit instead of his mouth as compensation, rolling in sweet little circles. Not nearly as pleasurable, but still enough to make your head spin, especially when you watch him press his cheek to your thigh to watch his own ministrations.
He is mesmerized by the way your hips jerk into his touch, his finger disappearing and reappearing over and over awfully stimulating for his relatively blank mind. His eyes lazily roll up to yours, smirking when he sees you watching him with lidded ones. "You like it, baby?"
You mutter an incoherent sound of approval, head falling back to the pillows, but that doesn't do it for him. He grabs your face with his free hand, focusing your expression on him yet again. As he does so, he eases a second finger in and you let out the most sinful moan of his name he's ever heard. He presses a kiss against your inner thigh, encouraging you to keep making those pretty noises.
He keeps on watching you, eyes having trouble focusing on both your face and your messy cunt. They're both such a good show, how could he be expected to pick which one was better. All the while he was sucking marks into your inner thigh, adding to the growing coil below your naval.
It was all too much for your poor little untouched body. His eyes watching you so carefully, the sting of his teeth on your thighs, his calloused thumb rubbing delightfully perfect circles against your swollen clit. You couldn't even think about anything other than how nice his fingers felt with circular motions right against that spot that your fingers could never reach.
"Lighter..." Your voice is so much more airy than you thought it would be, "I'm-"
He hums, understanding you without you needing to say anything at all. He removes himself from your thigh, climbing over to press his forehead against yours without stopping his movements. He wanted to see the face you made when you cum clearly. Wanted to have it etched into every corner of his brain so he could never dream of forgetting it.
"Go on then, I've got you," He encourages, and that's all it takes for the tight ball in your stomach to burst, and the flood of pleasure to take its place. You spasm around his fingers, juices coating them and dripping down his wrist. It's a beautiful thing to Lighter, watching the way your face scrunches up and then melts into pure pleasure. That was a face he could never forget, not in a million lifetimes.
He keeps his fingers moving at a slow and steady pace, easing you back down from your high. Only pull them out when you stop clenching around them, sucking your essence clean from them with a groan of satisfaction. "Delicious," He whispers, easing you back into the sheets, limbs soft and limp with the pleasant aftershocks of your orgasm.
Lighter is still there above you, watching with all the admiration in the world as your gaze refocuses on him. It's an infectious look that you subconsciously mirror, cradling his face in the palm of your hand.
"Feel good?" He asks, playing with a loose strand of your hair.
You nod, pressing a kiss to his nose, "Wonderful, actually. I don't know what I was so scared of."
He chuckles deep and warmly from the back of his throat, "I'm glad."
He presses gentle kisses across your cheek, nosing along your jaw and following with soft presses into the sensitive skin. You scratch his scalp appreciatively, more than happy to accept the affections.
"You wanna call it there?" He murmurs against your throat, hot breath leaving goosebumps in its wake, "Don't wanna push you too far."
You shake your head, frowning down at him, "No, no. I wanna keep going. It's not fair of me to leave you like... that." You gesture to his still rock-hard dick pressed against your thigh.
He comes back up to look at you, caressing your face with utmost care, "Don't worry about me, I can live without getting off."
"I know," you giggle, and it's such a sweet sound to him, "I want to, Lighter. I want you. Please indulge me just a little longer?"
He really can't argue with that, not with how you're smiling at him. "Alright," He sits up, grabs the condoms, and rips the box open with practiced ease, "but it's not gonna feel good to start."
"I know," You answer, sitting up to watch him slide his boxers down. His cock springs out, tip an angry red and bleeding precum down the shaft. It was an incredibly hot sight to see him slide the condom over himself, his muscles flexing from the much-needed attention. "I definitely know."
He smirks, settling between your legs again as he picks up the lube this time. "Enjoying the view?"
"Too much," you respond, enraptured as he tugs along his member a few times, shuddering at the sensation.
He takes the time to adjust you beneath him, tugging your hips up in an angled position. The manhandling is surprisingly hot, and your heart skips a beat when he grabs at your thigh more roughly than you're used to.
"I hope I can keep you satisfied," he muses, lining himself up with your pussy.
He runs the tip against your clit a few times, spreading a mixture of lube and your cum around, hissing to himself at the feeling. He wasn't even inside and he was already needing more of you, god what did you do to him?
He presses the tip against your weeping hole, hot and desperate against him. It fluttered in anticipation, feeling far too empty knowing what his fingers felt like. It had you praying to know what his cock felt like fully pressed inside. Surely it would fill you up even better.
His emerald green eyes come down to stare into yours, an intensity you've only ever seen from him in fights burning behind them. "Ready?"
You take a deep breath and then nod as assuredly as you can. You had no idea what you were getting into, but as the tip slowly sunk into you, you felt lightheaded. The sting was deep, drawing a hiss of pain out of you, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. He wasn't lying when he said it would hurt, but this was way worse than you expected.
He leans down, locking his fingers with yours and pressing loving kisses along your cheeks. His hair tickles your skin and it does wonders in distracting you from the burn of his stretching you. That was just the tip. If you couldn't handle that, how could you take the rest of him?
Lighter doesn't let you worry about it, rubbing his thumbs into your hips. Muttering sweet nothings into your sweaty skin, worshipping you like a god. Like you were his whole world. In his pleasure-fueled haze, that was more truth than it was fiction.
For every stinging inch, Lighter muttered praises and peppered a thousand more kisses across your burning skin. This was the most full you'd ever felt, and the more he pushed inside the more you wanted. He stuffed himself in to the hilt, stopping fully when his hips were pressed flush against yours. You shuddered at the sensation of his tip kissing your cervix. When he said he was big he meant it, and it was everything you wanted and more.
His rough hands slide gently along your sides, coaxing you to just look at him. Your glazed eyes slide over to his face, and you smile dumbly at his expression. His face is red, brows furrowed in concentrated effort and eyes clouded in lust. "You okay? Still hurt?"
You shake your head, chest rising and falling with more effort than you were used to. "It feels good. I like it."
He swallows hard, adam's apple bobbing in his throat. Fuck, he just can't stand it. You were so tight and warm, sucking him in like he was your last meal. He could feel your pussy clench around him suddenly, and he had to bury his face into your neck to stop himself from moaning out loud.
Who could've imagined a few years without sex would make him so weak. Maybe it was actually just you that made him like this. He couldn't possibly imagine any pussy better than yours, it felt like it was molded perfectly just for him. The thought occurs to him, like a stroke of genius, that this was his pussy and it was molded to him. Now that you let him fuck you once, he could do it again and again and again whenever either of you liked.
He liked that idea a lot more than he probably should, his cock twitching a little at the prospect. You squeeze back and he does moan this time, deep and throaty into your neck. It's quite the sound from such a big guy, making your skin tingle excitedly. You had been the reason for it, after all, it was flattering.
"Lighter?" You say, startling him. He looks up at you from his spot against your shoulder, "Can you move? I'm too full with you just sitting there."
He blinks at you, taking in your words carefully and digesting them. Yeah, you were gonna kill him tonight. You had no fucking clue what you were doing to him.
"Whatever you want," He mumbles out, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek, before slowly pulling out.
You groan out in tandem, the drag of his cock and a squeeze of your walls more pleasurable than you'd imagined. Then he pushes back in at the same pace and you shudder in his arms. He keeps the pace slow and easy, still able to remember that he wanted to be gentle despite how much he wished to be anything but. First time, he echoed in his head, take it easy Lighter.
Each drag of his cock against your plush warm insides has you gasping out, desperate for more and more. He watches you with an intensity to rival his excitement during a fight, taking in each detail with careful consideration. The way your brows scrunch up when he brushes that gummy spot with his tip, and how your teeth tug on your lips, and the way your eyelashes flutter when his hips lay flush into yours.
Lighter never considered himself an artist, but damn if you weren't his greatest masterpiece like this. You open your eyes and finally look at him, and the intensity in his gaze has you shying away into your palms. He can't have that, he wanted to look, so he grabbed your wrists and set them on his shoulders. They curl into the skin, crescent-shaped marks sure to form in the morning.
You still try to evade his gaze, so he follows with his own face, leaning forward. "Don't hide," he coos, his hands moving your hips with his upper body so he's fully leaning over you now, the new position allowing him to not only look at you but hit much deeper than before. "Lemme see yer pretty face."
A wanton moan is ripped from your throat as he picks up his pace, and you finally look at him when he grabs at your chin. His hair is stuck to his sweaty forehead, breathing heavily as he keeps up the new speed he's set. The wild look in his eyes is enough to make you clench and get to watch in real-time the effect it has on him. Swallowing hard as his eyebrows come together in pleasured surprise.
You were making it so, so hard on him, really you were. Each reaction you had made it so much more difficult to keep himself together. When you clench around him again he lets out a sound between a sigh and a squeak. Your fingers are running along the nape of his neck and through his hair, and it's nearly got him choking on air.
You're no better, hardly even coherent as his hips continue pistoning in and out of you at such consistent pacing. The wet slapping of skin on skin is the only thing you can focus on, everything else is too much for your muddled brain to understand.
The hand that isn't keeping your eyes on him comes down to massage your clit again, fingers splayed across your abdomen to feel himself through your skin while his thumb takes care of you. He was close, and he could tell you were too. Your moans getting more and more desperate, and the squeezing you gave him more and more desperate to keep him moving.
He didn't have it in himself to say anything coherent, so instead he settled on kissing you. Sloppy and uncoordinated and more teeth than anything else, but he still kissed you. Swallowing up every moan like a man starved.
His pace grows sloppy as he chases your highs, both of you moaning unabashedly loudly. He would hear from Lucy in the morning, he was sure of it, but that didn't matter too much to him now. Not when he felt you come undone around him. Your whole body tensed, desperate little cunt squeezing him in a vice grip and moans so delicious that he couldn't help but follow your lead.
He gives one last harsh thrust, and then he unloads into the condom. He thinks for a moment that he wishes it wasn't there but focuses instead on sucking at the juncture of your neck. You writhe under him, fingers raking down his back harsh enough to leave red lines in his skin.
It was better than he had expected it to feel, that was for certain. Even as he calmed down and came back to reality, there were little sparks of pleasure ringing through his body. He kissed his way over the marks he'd left on your body, waiting patiently for you to calm down before he pulled out.
Both of you let out sounds of complaint at the loss, but he knew that he couldn't stay inside you forever (no matter how nice that sounded). He smiled warmly down at you, caressing your face with such gentleness it could make you cry. "You alright...?"
You nod, brushing the hair out of his face so you can look at him properly, "This is probably the best I've ever felt in my whole life."
That gets him to laugh, pressing his forehead against yours, "I'm glad I could be of service."
"Did you-" You start, but he doesn't let you finish before he responds.
"Yes. I did enjoy myself, very much, baby." He hums, washing away any insecurities you could've had with ease.
He eases you up into a sitting position with him, holding you there until he is sure you will stay like that by yourself. Then, he stands and digs around his dresser for a towel to wipe you down with. You take the time to admire how nice his ass is out of those skinny jeans, humming to yourself at the sight.
When he rejoins you on the bed, you smirk at him, "Your ass is nice."
"Yeah," he huffs out a laugh, "Yours ain't all that bad either."
You let him do what he needs to, wiping you of sweat and any fluids that might become uncomfortable after a while. Then he does the same for himself, and the show is rather nice. When he finishes cleaning the both of you up, he crawls into bed and pulls you to his chest.
You take your chance to trace over the scars again, admiring just how pretty his marred skin is. He doesn't say a word, and you have the understanding not to make verbal comments now. The warmth of his chest combined with the pleasant ache in your limbs was enough to lull you to sleep.
The last thing you hear is Lighter mumble a quiet, "I love you." Though you don't respond, you know he knows you feel the same way.
#zzz x reader#zenless zone zero#zzz#lighter lorenz#lighter zzz x reader#lighter zzz#lighter x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#bunni's treats 🧁
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yandere farmer
a/n: smth smth i Really like people w southern accents smth smth so here's a farmer. im not 100% satisfied w this one but it's been in my drafts for so long so here it is.
warnings: mdni, not proofread, yandere content, gn reader, male yandere, idk how cars work so, overprotective behavior, obsessive behavior, reader has hair in this sorry if u dont, murder, brief mention of vomit, non-con kissing, mild depictions of gore, choking, i think that's it??
— maybe it's a bit cliché but life in the big city was exhausting, and all you wanted to do was get away from it all. it was a bit sudden, deciding you wanted to uproot your entire life and start somewhere new, but you knew that this is exactly what you needed.
— and it's not as if you weren't going into this blind. a friend of yours had a family vacation home in a small farm town that hadn't been used in years, and they were willing to let you stay there until you could find a place of your own.
— you had everything planned out. you had enough money on you for gas and food for the drive there, and you had already had some of your stuff shipped off to your new temporary home, so you didn't have to worry about leaving anything behind. you even kept a little extra money on you in case you needed to crash at a motel.
— the drive had started off fine. traffic wasn't too bad as you left the city, and there were no major setbacks until you were almost at your destination. when you were 20 miles out from the farmer town you'd be living in, your car just suddenly died on you. it still had gas in the tank, and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the car itself, it just… died.
— what's worse is the fact that your phone had no service. you suppose that's not too shocking, considering how far out in the country you are, but it's a bit shocking, isn't it? you're not that educated on farming life or this small town, but surely they had modern technology, right?
— it's cliché, honestly. it felt like the start of some cheap slasher. or maybe a southern christmas romance movie. you're not quite sure which would be worse. the slasher, realistically. whatever, you're getting off track.
— the point is, your car is dead, your phone is useless, and it's starting to get dark. you could probably make it to that motel you saw a few miles back, but you didn't really feel comfortable leaving your car out here alone. not to mention you're not even sure if you have enough money on you to cover one night at a motel.
— the universe, in all her mercy, takes pity on you before you can get too upset over your plight, because not even 20 minutes after your car stops, a truck drives by. it's beat up, but it slows to a stop next to your car. the window rolls down, revealing the driver to be a man just a little older than you.
— he asked if you needed help, and offered to tow your car and drive you to town. you didn't have much choice but to agree, and the drive to town was… not as awkward as you thought it would be, actually.
— the man introduced himself as rigby shaw, a farmer that lives on the outskirts of town. you actually drove by his farm maybe 15 miles back, and he had been heading into town to pick up some medication for one of his dogs when he saw you pacing outside your car. in turn, you told him how you were moving into the small town because life in the city had been overwhelming.
— rigby didn't think you'd survive long outside of the city. city folk rarely ever strive in small, out of touch towns, away from modern technology. the small handful that made their way here always went back to the city not even three months into being here, so he didn't expect to see you last long either. you were nicer than most city folk, though.
— but you were determined to make a living out here, so when rigby dropped you off, you got to work immediately. you unpacked your stuff that had been there waiting for you, and in the morning, you got to work trying to fix your car. turns out, your fan belt had somehow come loose just enough that your car could no longer function. why? who knows, maybe the universe was in a silly mood.
— anyways, you settled into the small town life with relative ease, and rigby was very surprised when he returned to town a few weeks later, you were still there. the only thing you were struggling with was finding a job. maybe because he was fascinated by your determination, but rigby ended up offering you a job on his farm. he did need help taking care of the crops and feeding the animals there, but he mostly just wanted to learn more about you.
— you were a fast learner, and his dogs took to you fairly quickly. the cattle and horses were a little less trusting, though that was expected. he's sure they'll take to you soon enough, given how you respect their boundaries and go at their pace unlike his previous farmhands. you had no problem taking on any challenge rigby had set up for you, and maybe that's when he started finding himself thinking about you.
— if he's out in town while you're on the farm, he's worrying that you might get injured without him around. you can take care of yourself, but he can't help but worry. same for when you're in town while he's on the farm. you’re still an outsider there, and he knows that some of the townsfolk may try scaring you off. or maybe they'll try hurting you. or maybe you'll be completely fine and he's just overreacting.
— he starts hovering around you more often when you're on his farm, jumping in to help you whenever he thinks you might be struggling with something. you think he's just worried you might fuck his crops up or something, so you never really pay much mind to his behavior. it only struck you as odd when he insisted on helping you feed the dogs of all things. was he scared you would poison them? you wouldn't, obviously, so you don't know why he'd think that.
— his behavior only seems to escalate when you meet a guy in town one day and start going on casual dates with him. he was… shocked, when you asked to take the day off because of some guy. in the months that you've been living in town, you had never shown any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with… anyone, truly. you had always seemed so dedicated to working on the farm and making a living for yourself, rigby had never even considered you could want anything other than that.
— at first, he felt disappointed. why would you prioritize dates with some guy when you could be working on the farm with him instead? it took him a bit to realize that disappointment he was feeling was jealousy. he hated when you'd step away from him to accept calls from your new boyfriend. he hated how you stopped eating lunch with him in favor of eating it with your boyfriend.
— your boyfriend wasn't even that great of a guy. rigby did some research on him–it's not stalking, he's just making sure it's safe for you to date this guy!–and he was not pleased with what he found. you could do so much better! you didn't understand why rigby was so interested in your boyfriend, always asking questions about how he treats you, if he's really what you're looking for in a relationship, if you actually loved him…
— you couldn't help but notice how touchy rigby has become as well, his hands always lingering on you far too long when he helps you with your work. you swear that you've heard him smell your hair a few times when he's close as well. he's been acting weird ever since you officially started dating your boyfriend. he's even going as far as to pile more work on top of you, leaving little free time for you to spend with your lover.
— it's gotten unbearable to the point where you decided you ultimately needed to find a new place to work. you liked rigby, he was a great guy with a kind heart, but his behavior was bordering on obsession and you didn't want to enable this behavior by ignoring it. your boyfriend agreed, and with his help, you were able to find a job at the local market in town.
— rigby was not pleased when he heard you on the phone with your lover, talking about how you'd tell him you were quitting after you finished work.
You're not really sure what happened. One moment, you were on the phone with your boyfriend and then the next, you were being hit in the head and everything had gone dark. The sun had only just started setting when you had been knocked out, but it was completely dark outside when you had woken up.
Your head was pounding as you opened your eyes, looking around in an attempt to figure out what the hell had happened to you. You were still on the farm, that much you knew. The first thing that worried you was the fact that your hands were bound to a wooden post, leaving you unable to move without injuring yourself. Your phone was broken on the ground, so it was completely useless.
Did a trespasser knock you out? It's not the first person people have trespassed on the farm, trying to steal the horses or ‘save’ the animals Rigby had. You had assumed that to be the case, because… what else could have happened for you to be tied up like this?
“Rigby?!” You shout his name, wincing at the throbbing in your head as you did so. Was he okay? Was he hurt? What if something happened to him? What if–
Your panicked thoughts get put on pause when a light blinded you, and you shied away from it as best as you could as you tried to figure out its source. It seemed to be a flashlight, and you only realized who was holding it when they got closer.
For a moment, you relaxed at the sight of Rigby, relieved to see he was okay as he approached, though there was something off about him. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't seem injured, yet there was blood on his hands. Or maybe it was the… borderline crazed look in his eyes.
Something wasn't right.
“Rigby…?” You hesitantly called his name, your relief bleeding away into a reluctant unease, “Are you okay? What happened? Why am I tied up?”
His silence did little to help you as he set his flashlight down on the ground and started undoing your binds. Your wrists felt raw as you gently rubbed them once they were free, standing up while Rigby retrieved his flashlight.
“Rigby, what the hell is going on?” You ask, growing frustrated at being left in the dark. You had been knocked out and tied up, so you think you deserve some sort of explanation as to what had happened.
“I have a gift for you.” Rigby says, completely dodging your question as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you after him. His grip was tight, almost bruising as he dragged you along, ignoring you when you asked him to loosen his grip on you. He refused to answer any of your questions, and you were starting to get worried.
You've never been scared of Rigby. Sure, his behavior lately had been concerning, but you had no reason to be scared. But right now, you couldn't help but feel a bit afraid as he led you in the dark. Your concern only grew when you realized he was taking you to the barn the pigs were kept in.
“Will you just tell me what's going on?” Your words fall upon deaf ears as he passes the flashlight to you, motioning for you to take the lead as he opens the barn doors. You hesitate before shining the flashlight in the barn, slowly stepping forward.
Most of the pigs were sleeping in their own separate stalls, a few were watching you and Rigby with indifference as you both stepped deeper into the barn. But two things stood out to you. One, a handful of pigs were nowhere to be seen. Two, there was this weird… squelching sound coming from the back of the barn.
“It's just back there.” Rigby says, his breath hitting the back of your neck and causing you to jump. You hadn't even realized how close he had gotten. You scurry forward just to get some distance. Truthfully, you didn't want to see this ‘gift’ Rigby was talking about, but you knew that you couldn't turn back.
Deep down, you knew something horrible was about to happen. The squelching sound grew louder, and you could hear the sound of chewing along with it. When you looked back at Rigby for some sort of reassurance, he just had this strange smile on his face. It sent a chill down your spine.
And when you hesitantly looked in the last stall at the very back of the barn to see the source of the noise, your ‘gift’, you dropped the flashlight in horror and let out a scream as you stumbled back right into Rigby's arms.
On the ground was your boyfriend's corpse, his face nearly maimed beyond recognition as several pigs chewed at his body. You're lucky you're able to swallow the vomit in your throat as you try to get out of Rigby's hold, looking away from the horrific scene in front of you as you cried.
“Let go of me!” You claw at his arms, but he just holds you tightly against his chest, gently shushing you as he forces you to watch the pigs eat.
“Do you like it?” He asks, completely ignoring your horror, “It wasn't hard getting him to come here. I just told him you had an accident, and suddenly, he was on his way. Isn't that sweet? It's a shame he wasn't stronger… he never would've been able to protect you if someone tried hurting you. But I can, see? I can give you what you deserve.”
You weren't even listening to his deluded words, trying to squirm out of his hold, “You're a fucking monster.” You spit out, a sharp gasp being torn out of your mouth when he shoves you against the wall of the barn, his hand around your throat as he lightly squeezes. A subtle threat, one that had you shutting up.
“I expect some fucking gratitude, you ungrateful brat.” Rigby’s voice is cold, his anger had never been something you'd ever been on the receiving end of, “I did this for you. For us. You should be thanking me.” His hand on your throat tightens, squeezing the air out of your lungs, his gaze hard as he stares at you expectantly.
Desperate for air, you're barely able to wheeze out a small, “Thank you.”
As black spots start to fill your vision, Rigby removes his hand from your neck, and you're able to breathe again. His anger was gone, replaced with delighted satisfaction.
“Of course, darlin’.” He sweetly says, a bloodied hand coming up to gently wipe the tears off your face, “I'd do anything for you. I can provide for you, so just be good for me in return, okay?”
And as he pulls you into a kiss, his lips pressing against yours with a heated desperation, you find yourself missing the city for the first time since you left it.
#oc: the farmer — rigby shaw.#yandere farmer x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x gn reader#yandere oc x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere x reader#yandere oc x you#male yandere x you#yandere farm x you#yandere#yandere oc#yandere farmer#yandere imagines
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Familiar Stranger. || Kim Hongjoong.
Summary: you and hongjoong have known each other for over 20 years now. growing up side by side, graduating, marrying and having your own family was tough, but kim hongjoong had always been a constant in your life. now, in your late 30s, you suddenly find yourself divorced, and hongjoong’s wife just left him as well. your children are devastated, and for the sake of keeping them occupied, you try to urge them to spend much time with each other on a holiday trip. but what happens if things change? what happens if suddenly, you develop feelings for a man you considered nothing but a friend your whole life?
Pairing: kim hongjoong x reader
Genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, angst if you squint, smut (mdni)
Wordcount: 24.2k
Warnings: both reader and hj are in their late 30s, minseo & yena are around 14 and hanbin around 9, chubby!reader (though it isnt really mentioned until the smut part) mentions of emotional partner abuse and cheating, child neglect (kinda?) body insecurities, body worship, fingering, sex toys, use of pet names, oral (m. & f. receiving) if I missed smth pls lmk!
A/N: i am not happy with this fic (i even cried a little tbh i spent so much time on it and unfortunately just really really dislike it now) and towards the end, it gets pretty rushed and i want to apologize for that, i just got really frustrated. its also not proof read which will probably be very visible rip. now onto the important part tho: hello @owlbeforesunset, i was your secret santa for @cromernet! i really hope you like this even if its super messy sksksksk and im wishing you the best christmas ever!! may you and your loved ones be happy and healthy forever <33 as always divider credits to @firefly-graphics! Edit: since im dumb i forgot to add the playlist i made specifically for this fic. its the first time i made smth like this so i hope you all enjoy <33
Taglist: @ghstzzn, @kyukyustar, @hwapetals, @foxinnie8, @preciouswoozi, @aussiekpopginger, @kitten4sannie, @hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf
Available here on AO3.
April, 2003.
Heavy rain pelted against the windows. It was loud and distracting, but you tried your best to focus on the task at hand: getting dressed in your sexiest outfit ever.
God, how excited you were. Your first ever party!
You grabbed the black tank top from the pile on your bed, biting your lip as you held it up. It was cropped, barely grazing your waist, and you'd never actually worn it out. But tonight was different. You wanted to stand out, feel a little bolder today. You slipped it over your head, adjusting the straps until it sat just right, revealing just enough to feel sexy but still comfortable.
Next, you reached for your favorite skirt - a dark denim piece that you usually reserved for special occasions. It hit mid-thigh, shorter than anything you usually wore. You turned left and right in front of the mirror, checking the whole look with a grin, feeling that sweet buzz of excitement stir within you.
Today, you were feeling rebellious, and you thanked the heavens that your parents weren't home to see that side of you.
After a quick swipe of lip gloss and a final tousle of your hair, you stepped back to take in the full outfit. This was new, a little edgy, but it was exactly how you wanted to show up tonight.
And then, you heard a car honk outside.
Three times, to be exact.
It told you that Hongjoong had arrived to pick you up.
You grabbed your coat and dashed outside, leaping from the front porch to avoid the small puddles pooling on the driveway. The cold rain splattered down, but it did nothing to cool down the rush of excitement as you ran towards Hongjoong's car.
As soon as you reached it, he leaned over to unlock the door, his eyes widening as he noticed you through the rain. You quickly pulled the door open and slid into the passenger seat, the warm interior pulling a happy sigh from your lips. Without thinking, you then stood up halfway in the seat, turning to give him a full view of your outfit. You did a quick spin, showing off the crop top and skirt, a big, proud smile practically glued to your face.
“Well?” You laughed, tilting your head at him.
He blinked, visibly taken aback, and then grinned in that lopsided, mischievous way of his. “Damn, look at you!” he said, dragging his gaze over you with obvious approval in his eyes. “That’s exactly the look. You look perfect! He will definitely notice you now!”
“And she will definitely notice you too!”
She was the girl who had captured his attention since the first day of school. And as much as you wanted to tease him about that hopeless crush of his, you found yourself rooting for him. He really liked her, and it was kind of cute to see your best friend so head over heels in love. “You’re going to knock her off her feet, Hongjoong. Look at you!”
Kim Hongjoong looked as stunning and unique as always. Tonight, he'd gone for an avant-garde vibe, somehow mixing and layering pieces that should've clashed but just… worked. He wore a dark, oversized blazer with bold white stitching tracing down its seams, a design you knew he’d likely stitched himself. Underneath, he wore a fitted, high-neck black shirt that hugged his frame, and chains draped across his chest in varying lengths. The pants he wore were his own design as well - fitted and flared at the bottom, with artful rips along the thighs revealing hints of his skinny, toned legs beneath. He’d accessorized with rings on nearly every finger, a thick cuff around his wrist, and one of his trademark berets, tilted slightly to the side.
And then, his favorite touch: eyeliner, just enough to make his eyes dark and intense, while still looking like the nice and approachable boy you knew him as.
All in all: your best friend looked as stunning as always.
You couldn’t help but feel a little flutter in your stomach as you caught his gaze lingering on you as well. Outside, the rain was steady, streaking the windows as the car drove through the streets.
“So, what’s your plan tonight?” he asked. “Besides making him notice you, of course.”
“Maybe dance. Maybe get him in my bed,” you said with a smirk, earning an exaggerated grimace from Hongjoong.
“Ugh. Spare me the details.”
You both laughed, and you elbowed him playfully as he drove through the streets.
The drive stretched on, the rain creating a soothing pitter-patter against the windows. The streetlights you passed were illuminating Hongjoong’s sharp features perfectly as you looked at him. You couldn’t help but watch him for a moment, appreciating the pretty man your best friend had become over the years.
“Well,” you said, breaking the silence, “what about you? Big plans tonight?”
“Maybe,” he admitted, his lips twitching into a soft smile. “You know, if she shows up.”
“Oh, she’ll be there,” you teased, poking his arm. “She's at every party. Plus you’ve been talking about her all week. She’d be insane not to notice you tonight.”
He glanced at you briefly, his smile turning a bit shy. “I hope so. But hey, even if she doesn’t… tonight’s about having fun. About us, okay? Let's just try and have a good time anyways.”
“Agreed,” you said, leaning back in your seat. “Let’s make this the best night ever.”
He nodded, his grin widening. “Deal.”
He pulled up to the venue after another few minutes. As you both stepped out into the rain, the cold droplets hit your heated skin as you raced to the entrance, and you laughed as you arrived first.
Once you opened the heavy door together, the atmosphere inside immediately enveloped fully. The sound of music echoed through the air, and the whole crowd pulsed with energy. You spotted familiar faces, friends and acquaintances already dancing and chatting, and your heart raced with excitement. This was it.
“Okay,” Hongjoong said, leaning in closer so you could hear him over the music. “Let’s try not to get separated. Want a drink?”
“Sure,” you replied. You could barely hear your own voice over the thumping bass of the music. You tugged at his sleeve to pull him toward the makeshift bar set up in the corner of the room. A string of colorful lights hung over your heads, casting shifting hues of red and blue across the room and its people. The whole place smelled of sweat, too much perfume, and a faint trace of spilled beer and vomit.
Hongjoong weaved through the crowd effortlessly, his small frame slipping between clusters of people like a ghost. You followed closely, clutching your purse harder to avoid hitting any strangers.
When you finally reached the bar, Hongjoong leaned in close to your ear again. “What’s your poison of choice tonight? Beer? Something stronger?”
You pretended to think about it for a moment, tapping your chin theatrically. “Surprise me,” you said, flashing him a grin.
His brows arched playfully, and he turned to flag down the guy working the bar - a classmate you vaguely recognized but didn’t know well. After a brief exchange, Hongjoong handed you a plastic cup filled with something neon pink and fizzy.
“Taste test,” he prompted, watching your reaction closely as you took a cautious sip.
The drink was sweet, with just enough of a bite to remind you it was still alcoholic. You licked your lips, nodding in approval. “Not bad. What is it?”
He smirked. “No idea. Just told him to make it fun.”
You laughed, raising the cup in a mock toast. “To fun, then.”
“To fun,” he echoed, clinking his own drink against yours before taking a big sip.
The two of you leaned back against the bar, scanning the room and taking it all in. It was packed, the dance floor a mass of sweaty bodies against bodies illuminated by the cheap neon light. You spotted a few more familiar faces but didn’t immediately see the person you were hoping to impress tonight.
“See him yet?” Hongjoong asked, his gaze flicking toward you.
You shook your head, feeling slightly disappointed. “Not yet. You?”
He scanned the room again, his eyes lingering near a group of girls huddled together by the DJ booth. When he looked back at you, his grin was wide and genuine. “She’s here.”
Your brows shot up. “Where?”
He gestured subtly with his chin, and you followed his gaze. Sure enough, there she was - wearing a sleek black dress that clung to her in all the right ways, her head thrown back in laughter as she chatted with her friends.
“She looks amazing,” you said honestly, nudging him. “Go talk to her.”
Hongjoong hesitated, biting his lip. “Not yet. Need a little more liquid courage first.”
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip of your drink. “Fine, but don’t chicken out, okay? Tonight’s your night.”
“And yours,” he reminded you, bumping your shoulder lightly.
“Damn right,” you said, your confidence starting to show by the alcohol starting to settle warmly in your veins.
The music shifted then. Instead of the slow song that played when you two got here, it now switched to a faster pop-song that made the room errupt in cheers. Hongjoong turned to you, his eyes sparkling.
“Dance floor?” he asked.
“Hell yes,” you replied without hesitation, grabbing his hand and leading him toward the mass of people.
The moment you stepped onto the dance floor, the music seemed to consume you entirely. You let yourself sway to the beat, your earlier nerves melting away completely. Hongjoong danced beside you, his movements fluid as always. At least one of you could dance. Unfortunately, it definitely wasn't you.
At some point, you caught sight of him watching you. He stood near the edge of the crowd, a solo cup in one hand, his eyes fixed squarely on you.
Your heart skipped a beat. “Joong,” you hissed, tugging on his sleeve. “He’s looking at me!”
Hongjoong followed your gaze, a grin splitting across his face. “Told you he wouldn’t be able to resist. Go say hi!”
“I can’t just walk up to him,” you said, your voice a little panicked.
“Yes, you can. Trust me, you look amazing. He’s already hooked.”
You hesitated, your feet rooted in place despite the music urging you to move.
Hongjoong gave you a gentle shove in his direction. “Go! I’ll be here if you need a rescue mission.”
Shooting your best friend one last look, you smoothed down your skirt, drew in a steadying breath, and walked toward him, heart pounding with each step. His dark eyes locked onto yours almost immediately, a lazy smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he tipped his cup slightly in acknowledgment.
“Hey,” you greeted, trying to sound casual despite the adrenaline rushing through you.
“Hey yourself,” he replied smoothly. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
His name was Jang Hyunwoo, a senior just a year above you and Hongjoong. Known for his devastating good looks, he was every girl's dream and you were not immune to him. At all. In fact, the first time you saw him, it felt like the world narrowed to just… him.
You still remembered it.
He was leaning against the chain-link fence outside school, cigarette hanging loosely from his fingers, dark eyes unreadable beneath heavy lashes. He’d glanced up, meeting your gaze with a look so piercing it made your heart skip a beat or two.
“Got a light?” he’d asked, voice low and lazy.
You didn’t even smoke, but you found yourself fumbling for a lighter borrowed from a friend. His fingers brushed yours as he took it, lingering just long enough to make your pulse quicken.
From that moment, you were hooked. He was magnetic in a way that felt dangerous - intense and so, so unreachable. But when he looked at you like that, like you were the only thing that mattered… it was impossible not to fall.
From that day on, Jung Hyunwoo became your addiction.
And right now, his tall frame leaned against the wall with an effortless confidence, a single silver chain glinting against the black of his fitted shirt. He radiated that dangerous allure you just couldn’t seem to resist.
You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Thought I’d check it out.”
His eyes traced over you slowly, appreciatively. “You definitely made the right call.”
Your cheeks heated, but before you could respond, you noticed someone approaching Hongjoong out of the corner of your eye. She practically slithered up to him, wrapping an arm possessively around his waist.
Kang Minji.
She was stunning, really, with long, glossy hair and an effortless sense of style that made her look straight out of a magazine. But there was something else you noticed about here. Something in the sharpness of her gaze, the way her perfectly manicured nails dug into Hongjoong’s side just a little too firmly, sent a chill down your spine. And you did not even understand why.
“Joongie,” she cooed, tilting her head in mock surprise. “Didn’t think you’d make it tonight.”
Hongjoong’s smile faltered for the briefest moment before he recovered, offering her a charming, yet shy grin. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
You watched as Minji’s eyes flicked to you, quickly looking you up and down, before returning to Hongjoong as though you weren’t even there. Something about the possessiveness in her expression made you immediately feel uneasy.
You thought about saying something to Hongjoong, about warning him - there was something weird about her, about the way her smile never quite reached her eyes when she looked at him. But just as quickly as the thought surfaced, you shoved it down. After all, your own situation wasn’t exactly better, was it?
Hyunwoo’s fingers pressed firmly into your waist, his touch feeling equal parts thrilling and dangerous. His gaze held yours with that familiar intensity, sharp and consuming, leaving no room for second-guessing.
Who were you to judge Hongjoong when you were just as caught up in someone toxic you couldn’t seem to quit?
So, you said nothing. You let the thought dissolve, swallowed by the pounding bass and the heat of Hyunwoo’s hand still holding you close.
“So, you two know each other?” Hyunwoo’s voice drew your attention back to him.
“Yeah, Joong’s my best friend,” you explained, smiling despite the tension forming between you four. “We came together.”
Hyunwoo’s smirk widened, and his grip around you tightened. “Interesting.”
Before you could decipher his meaning, Minji’s laugh rang out, sharp and so… wrong. “Best friend, huh? That’s cute.”
Her words felt like a subtle warning, though you couldn’t quite place why. Hongjoong’s expression shifted, discomfort flashing in his dark eyes, but he said nothing.
“Dance with me,” Hyunwoo suggested, pulling your focus back. His gaze was intense, daring you to say no.
You hesitated for half a second before nodding. “Okay.”
The music was so loud as Hyunwoo pulled you onto the dance floor. His grip on your waist was firm, guiding you effortlessly through all the sweaty bodies. You could feel the heat radiating from him, his intense gaze never leaving yours as the world blurred into a haze of flashing lights and unrecognizable sounds.
He leaned in, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You okay?” he asked, voice low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine.
You nodded, breath hitching as his fingers traced slow, deliberate circles against your waist. His touch burned through the thin fabric of your shirt, making your skin tingle with anticipation. He smelled like spice and something else equally addictive - the perfect blend of danger and temptation.
Before you could process what was happening, his lips crashed against yours, hard and demanding. His hand tangled in your hair while the other stayed on your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. You gasped into the kiss, overwhelmed but unable to stop yourself from further melting into him.
The intensity of it all left you breathless. He dominated you so effortlessly, pressing hard into every movement, every touch. You barely registered the crowd around you anymore, the dance floor fading into the background as you clung to him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His lips were warm and insistent, tasting faintly of the drink he’d been having earlier.
For a quick second, a flicker of anxiety flooded your chest, but before you could pull away, your gaze drifted past Hyunwoo’s shoulder - and froze.
There, against the far wall, you saw Hongjoong. His back was pressed against the worn brick, his hands tangled possessively in Minji’s hair as she kissed him hard and without any mercy. Her body was pressed against his, leaving no room for air between them. His eyes were closed, completely lost in the heat of the moment.
Something inside you twisted sharply, equal parts jealousy and defiance. If Hongjoong could do it, lose himself like that… why couldn’t you?
Your fingers tightened around Hyunwoo’s shirt as you surged forward in a sudden boost of confidence, matching his intensity with a newfound determination that even surprised yourself. If this was how the night was going to go, then you wouldn’t hold back. Not anymore.
Hyunwoo groaned against your lips, clearly pleased by your sudden boldness. His hands roamed freely now, sliding down your back to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him. You could feel the hard press of his body against yours, his need unmistakable and intoxicating.
Your nails raked down his chest, earning a hiss of approval from him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that made your knees tremble. His control was absolute, his touch possessive, as though staking a claim that he had no intention of releasing.
And for now, you let him. You surrendered to it all, the reckless, thrilling haze, pushing down every lingering thought of Hongjoong and Minji. Tonight, you’d let yourself go - consequences be damned.
“Wanna go upstairs?”
“H-huh?”
You didn’t even notice you had moved, too consumed by his mouth and hands everywhere, but as you opened your eyes again, he was standing at the bottom of a dimly lit staircase, his eyes gleaming with something dangerous, something you couldn’t quite name. “Come on,” he coaxed, voice low and hoarse. “It’s too loud out here.”
The way he said it sounded reasonable, almost thoughtful - because he was right, it was way, way too loud in here - but the way his hand lingered on your waist told a different story. His touch was too sure, too expectant as if a no from you wasn't even a question.
Your gaze darted around the room, searching for any sign of Hongjoong. He’d always been your anchor in situations like this - your safe space. But he was nowhere in sight. Your stomach twisted as you recalled the way Minji had pulled him into the shadows, her grip just as firm as Hyunwoo’s was now.
He’s fine, you told yourself. He wanted this. He chose this.
So why did you suddenly feel so… alone?
“I- maybe we should stay down here,” you suggested hesitantly, voice trembling despite your attempt to sound casual. “We could… get another drink?”
Hyunwoo’s expression darkened ever so slightly, a flicker of irritation flashing through his gaze before he smoothed it over with a practiced smile. “You nervous?” he asked, stepping closer until your back pressed against the wall. His voice was soft now, almost tender. “I’m not gonna hurt you, baby.”
The pet name sent an involuntary shiver down your spine - not from endearment, but from the way it felt like a trap snapping shut around you. And you, like the prey you were, stepped right into it.
His fingers brushed along your jaw, tilting your face up so you couldn’t look away. “You trust me, don’t you?”
Did you? You weren’t sure anymore.
His thumb traced slow circles against your cheek, deceptively gentle. “We’ve been dancing around this for months… You know you want this too.”
You swallowed hard, your pulse thrumming wildly beneath his touch. He was too close, his presence overwhelming, suffocating - but intoxicating in the worst way. Every instinct told you to push him away, to leave - but then you thought about Hongjoong, likely wrapped up in Minji somewhere upstairs, completely consumed by her.
Hyunwoo’s lips brushed against your temple, his breath warm against your skin. “Just you and me,” he whispered, his voice a dangerous promise. “No one else matters tonight.”
And then, you finally gave in. He quickly grabbed you and searched for an empty room upstairs, and as the door clicked shut behind you, sealing you inside the dim, quiet room, you couldn’t shake the haunting certainty that neither you nor Hongjoong would leave this night the same - both now bound to people who would ruin you in ways you were only beginning to understand years later.
August, 2024.
It was late when your shift finally ended.
You walked into the house, the door giving squeaking like always as you stepped inside. Silence was all you were greeted with when you closed the front door behind you. You kicked off your shoes by the door and set your bag down on the counter, your gaze lingering on the empty kitchen. It had been a while since you truly noticed the quiet - or since you were involuntarily forced to.
It was late, and you were tired; it was the kind of exhaustion that seeped into your bones after a long day of work, and the weight of your thoughts felt even heavier now that you were home.
You hadn’t expected to feel this way even after the divorce, but the ache was still there, lingering. For the longest time, you'd convinced yourself it was all manageable - that it would get better, that you could make it work.
But now, standing in the middle of the house that once held the warmth and laughter of a family, you couldn’t deny the truth any longer.
Your marriage to Hyunwoo had been tiring and oh so toxic, and it all actually started the day you two had met. It was easy to look back now and see the signs - the subtle ways he began to change over the years, the evergrowing distance between you two. He’d started out so passionate about you and your whole relationship. But after the children came, or maybe even before, things shifted. His kindness faded into passive aggression, and then to blatant cruelty in the smallest, quietest ways.
At first, you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t that bad. After all, there were still moments that felt like the old him - the laughter over dinner, the rare but sweet gestures. But those moments became fewer and fewer, and the weight of his silence began to feel heavier than anything else.
You had learned to shut down, to bite your tongue, to keep the peace - all for the sake of your children. You didn’t want them to see the cracks. You didn’t want them to know that the man you married, the man they adored, was also the one who’d made you feel small, insignificant, and alone in your own home.
You’d stayed for them - for Minseo and Hanbin - hoping, wishing, that somehow you could protect them from it all.
It had been easier to stay. Easier to pretend that things were fine. But somewhere along the way, you stopped lying to yourself. The emotional abuse had become too much to ignore.
You had loved him once. So deeply that the idea of leaving him seemed impossible, even when your soul and entire being felt suffocated by his cruelty. But one day, you woke up to the reality that you couldn’t keep living like that - not for yourself, not for your children.
The divorce had been your only choice, even if it felt like it would destroy everything you had built.
You closed your eyes for a moment, leaning against the counter, remembering those last weeks of you and Hyunwoo together - how every conversation felt like a battle, how every attempt at talking about it was met with denial, with anger.
And now, here you were. No more pretending. No more covering up. You had taken that step, for yourself and for your children, even if they couldn’t understand it yet.
A sigh escaped you as you shook your head, trying to push the thoughts away. You had a family to focus on, children who needed you.
But sometimes, even now, the silence of this house felt like a heavy reminder of everything you had lost - and everything you still had to rebuild very slowly and carefully.
“Where have you been?”
You stood in the doorway, the exhaustion from the long shift still weighing you down as you noticed Minseo’s presence in the living room. Her face was half-lit by the soft glow of her phone screen. She didn’t even look up when you entered.
“Hey, sorry sweetie,” you said, trying to sound as normal as possible, trying to hide how tired you were. “A coworker got sick, and I had to take over her shift.”
Minseo didn’t respond immediately, her eyes glued to the phone, her thumb scrolling lazily across the screen. The silence between you stretched out uncomfortably.
You waited, half-expecting some kind of acknowledgment, but she remained absorbed in her own world. The way she looked at you - or rather, didn’t look at you - felt like a sharp reminder of how far apart the two of you were drifting.
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, not sure what to do. Normally, she would’ve greeted you with at least a half-hearted "Hi" or some sort of remark, but today, there was nothing. Just the quiet thrum of the phone as she typed.
You forced a smile, trying to bridge the gap. “How was your day?”
Nothing. Minseo didn’t even acknowledge you. Her eyes stayed on her phone, lips pressed into a thin line. The absence of the usual warmth in her voice made the silence so much louder, and it hit you harder than anything else. She wasn’t just quiet tonight. She was actively shutting you out.
You cleared your throat softly, trying again. “Did you have dinner yet?”
“Mm-hmm,” Minseo murmured, not bothering to look up. Her response was clipped, as though she was only offering the bare minimum of interaction required. You could feel the coldness seeping into the space between you.
You stood there, your hands hanging awkwardly by your sides, unsure how to proceed. The room felt heavy, and the quiet seemed so much louder with her refusal to meet your gaze. You didn’t know what you’d done wrong, only that something was different now. Something had changed, and it hurt more than you were ready to admit.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” you said, the words barely escaping your throat.
You turned toward the kitchen, sighing and not expecting anything else out of your daughter tonight. But then: “Hanbin’s crying, by the way.”
Your heart clenched at the mention of your son’s name, and you quickly turned to face Minseo, who was still engrossed in her phone.
“Why? What happened?!” you asked, your voice a little more urgent now.
Minseo didn't look up, her fingers still scrolling across the screen. “He tried calling Dad again. And... I guess he’s not picking up.” Her words came out flat, emotionless, as if she was just telling you about the weather today.
You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of Hanbin, still too small to fully grasp the situation. All he wanted was to reach out to his father, to talk to him just like he always did. It was something you had feared - the growing distance between Hyunwoo and the kids. It wasn’t just that he had stopped being the man you married, but now his absence had begun to seep into their lives too.
You didn’t say anything immediately. Instead, you let out a long sigh and walked toward the stairs, your legs feeling heavier and heavier with each step.
You hadn’t even realized how scared you were of this happening. But now, standing in the hallway at the foot of Hanbin’s door, you couldn’t run from it any longer.
You knocked gently. “Hanbin?”
A faint, muffled sob reached your ears from inside. Your stomach twisted at the sound.
The door creaked open, and you found him curled up on his bed, his small body trembling with each sob. His phone was clenched tightly in his hands, the screen still lit up, but there were no new messages, no notifications. Just an unanswered call to his father.
Your heart broke all over again as you knelt beside him. “Hey, buddy,” you said softly, reaching out to touch his back gently. “What happened?”
Hanbin wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve, his little eyes red and puffy from all the crying. “Dad... he didn’t answer,” he sniffled, his voice cracking. “He promised. He said he would talk to me every day... but he didn’t. I don’t know what I did wrong…”
You almost started crying too. How could you explain this to him? How could you make him understand that this was something that wasn’t his fault, but that there was also nothing you could do to change it?
You sat down next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace, feeling his small body shake with every sob. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Hanbin. It’s not your fault.”
“I want to talk to him. Why doesn’t he want to talk to me, mommy?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. The words hit you harder than anything else he could have said.
You gently rocked him back and forth, trying to find the right words, but you knew that nothing would take away your son's pain.
You wanted so badly to make everything better for him, to explain it in a way that would help him understand. But it was all too complicated, and you didn't know if a 9 year old like him could already understand.
“Hey,” you said softly, pulling back a little to look into his tear-streaked face. “Maybe you can tell me about your day, okay? I’d love to hear about it.”
He sniffled, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. His wide eyes met yours for a moment before dropping to the bed. “You’re not daddy,” he muttered. “I can't talk to you about everything I talk to him...”
Your heart broke a little more. He was right. You weren’t his father. You couldn’t fix this for him. But you weren’t going to let him think that you didn’t care, either.
“You're right,” you said softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “I’m not daddy. But I do care about you. I care about everything you’re feeling right now.”
Hanbin sniffled again, his face scrunching up as though he was trying to hold it all together. "But it’s not the same," he whispered, his voice trembling. "I just want to talk to him."
You didn’t know what to say. The silence that followed felt heavy, and you just continued to quietly hold him against you. The words hovered in the air between you, but you had no answers. You knew that Hanbin needed his father - he needed a male figure who understood him, someone who was supposed to be there for him.
But there was another thought that nagged at the back of your mind. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he could talk to someone else. Someone who could listen. Someone who understood, even if it wasn’t his father.
“Hanbin,” you said, your voice quiet but firm, “what if you talked to Uncle Hongjoong instead? You know he’s always there for you.”
The idea hung in the air for a moment, and Hanbin’s eyes flickered up to meet yours, a flicker of hope in his gaze. But then he shook his head slowly.
“I don’t want to,” he mumbled, turning his face away, staring at the wall as though it could somehow block out everything else. "He’s not... not dad."
It hit you harder than you expected - the realization that even Hongjoong, someone who had been a part of your family for so long, couldn’t replace the hole that Hyunwoo had left. Hanbin had known him since birth, had shared so many memories with him, yet in that moment, he wanted no one else but Hyunwoo. Not even Hongjoong whom he usually adored so much.
“I know, buddy,” you whispered, pulling him into your arms again, wishing you could somehow make it all go away. “I get it. But you don’t have to be alone with this. We’re all here for you, okay? You can always talk to me, even if I’m not daddy.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything more. His small body trembled a little less, but the sadness still lingered of course. You wished there was a way to make it magically disappear, but unfortunately, you were just a human with no such power.
You held him there for a while, neither of you saying anything. You didn’t need to.
Finally, Hanbin pulled back slightly, wiping his eyes and looking up at you. “Can we try calling dad again tomorrow?”
You nodded, even though you knew that it was unlikely anything would change. “Of course, we can. We’ll try again.”
You gently wiped away the last of Hanbin’s tears and let out a soft sigh.
“How about you go to bed now, hm?” you asked softly, brushing the damp hair from his forehead. “Don't you have your math test tomorrow?”
Hanbin sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, I guess. But... what if I don't do good?”
You smiled faintly, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “You're going to do great. You always do, Hanbin. You're so smart. I believe in you.”
His eyes glimmered with a small trace of hope at your words, and he gave you a weak nod, though the uncertainty still lingered in his gaze.
“Okay,” he muttered, still sounding unsure, but he allowed you to tuck him in nonetheless.
“And hey,” you added, your voice soft but warm, “I'll make you your favorite breakfast tomorrow, okay? Pancakes, right?”
Hanbin’s eyes lightened up at the mention of pancakes, and despite the lingering sadness on his face, he offered you a small, tired smile. “Thanks, mommy.”
Your heart clenched a little, but you smiled back, brushing a hand through his messy hair one last time before standing up from the side of his bed.
“Goodnight, sweetie. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Hanbin whispered, closing his eyes as he settled further into his blankets.
By the time you made your way back downstairs, Minseo had already retreated back to her room. Her door was closed, and the only thing indicating she was still awake was the soft music coming from her phone.
You wanted so badly to knock and wish her a goodnight, but you knew not to push your luck. For now, all you could do was respect her space.
And so, you stepped outside onto the front porch, the cool night air brushing against your face. The whole neighbourhood was silent, and only a few streetlights lit up the street. As your gaze swept over the yard, your eyes landed on the porch next door and onto the man sitting there.
Kim Hongjoong.
He looked different, though. His shoulders were slightly slumped, as if the weight of something heavy rested on them. His hair, always so carefully styled, had grown a little longer, falling messily across his forehead. He wore a black hoodie and a pair of dark jeans, his hands tucked into the pockets, his expression unreadable. Even in the dim light, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes, the lines of stress that hadn’t been there before.
The sight of him like this hurt. You'd always admired Hongjoong for his energy, his fire, his passion about even the smallest things, but tonight, he looked... broken.
You hesitated for a moment before walking over to his porch. “Hey,” you called softly, not wanting to startle him.
He looked up at you, and the corner of his lips curled into a faint, almost sad smile. “Hey. Didn’t expect you to be out this late.”
You gave a small shrug. “Had a long shift. The kids are okay for now, so I thought I’d get some air.”
He nodded, glancing at the empty space beside him. “Wanna join me?”
You stepped up, taking a seat next to him, the familiar creak of the old wood beneath you a reminder of how many times you'd sat here before, talking, laughing, even crying. It used to be different. You used to talk about everything, and you could always count on him to make things feel a little lighter, a little more bearable.
But tonight, there was an awkward tension between you two, the kind that comes from years of shared history and sudden distance. The silence stretched for a while, neither of you willing to break it, both lost in your own thoughts.
Finally, Hongjoong spoke, his voice soft, almost hesitant. “How are things... at home?”
You glanced at him, unsure whether to give him a real answer. But then you realized that maybe, just for tonight, you should. For your own sake. “It’s been hard. Minseo’s shutting me out more than usual, and Hanbin... he’s not doing too good either. He tried calling Hyunwoo again. No answer, of course.”
Hongjoong sighed, his gaze turning to the distant streetlights. “I’m sorry, I know that’s got to be tough. For you and the kids.”
You nodded, looking down at your hands. “It’s so… silent. I thought it was just my own imagination... but I feel it in the house. Even with Minseo, there’s this distance. And Hanbin - he’s still holding onto the idea that things are okay between him and Hyunwoo. It’s breaking my heart because I have no idea how to tell him that his dad seemingly decided to cut all contact.”
“It feels like someone's trying to rip my heart out,” you continued, your voice a little shaky now. “He still believes that things will go back to normal. Every time he calls his dad and gets no answer, I see the hurt in his eyes. I don’t know how to fix that for him, Hongjoong. He’s just a little boy.”
Hongjoong shifted slightly, his fingers tapping restlessly against his knees. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Trying to shield them from the things they shouldn’t have to know.”
You nodded, biting your lip. “I don’t want them to feel like this. Minseo, she’s... she’s different now, too. Now that Hyunwoo left… I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”
“Minseo’s at that age, too, you know. The teens are hard. But I can tell you, she’s just needs a little time. It’s hard for them to see the people they love… change into something they don’t recognize.”
You let out a soft sigh and nodded, but the ache for your kids didn’t let up. “She’s always been so strong, but it’s like she’s holding everything in. I wish I could break through... But she's shutting me out.”
Hongjoong shifted his weight, his body a little tense as though he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to begin. You glanced over at him, and for a moment, his eyes met yours, a soft understanding in them.
"I know what you're going through," he said quietly. "I know it all too well." He paused, and you could hear him take a deep breath. "Minji... she left me."
Your heart skipped a beat. You turned to him, eyes wide with shock. “W-what? Hongjoong, I-”
“She cheated,” he said, his voice shaking slightly, his hand gripping his knee even tighter. “She left me for another man... a rich one, apparently. Someone she’d been seeing behind my back.” His eyes were distant, haunted, as if the words themselves were still too raw, too surreal for him to fully grasp. “I didn’t see it coming. It... it hurt more than I thought it would.”
You couldn’t find the right words to say. You knew Minji had been distant in the months leading up to their split, but this? You never imagined it would be something like this. You reached out, placing a hand on his arm, trying to comfort him, though you knew words couldn’t heal the wound he was feeling.
“I’m so sorry, Hongjoong. I had no idea…”
He nodded, letting out a deep breath. “I didn’t either. She had been so cold, so... unreachable. But I never thought it would end like this. And... that's not even the worst part. Yena, she… she was the one who caught them.”
“She what? Oh, God, Yena… how did she...”
Hongjoong let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “She walked in on them. Just like that. She saw her mom with him, saw them together in our own home. I don't know how much she really understands, but I... I can't even imagine what that must’ve done to her. She was so angry, but also so sad, and I couldn't even find the words to comfort her. I don't know how to fix this for her, either. I don't know how to make any of this better.”
You felt a sickening tightness in your stomachas the horror of Yena’s situation began to sink in. A child should never have to witness something like that, let alone process the reality that their own mother had been unfaithful.
“Yena must be so hurt... she must feel so betrayed. What did you say to her?”
“I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was hold her, and... and try to assure her that it wasn’t her fault. But the thing is, it felt like she was losing more than just her mother. It felt like she was losing both of us. She’s so confused, and I don’t know what to do for her. I can't just tell her it’s all going to be okay. It's not okay. It’s not even close.”
You could hear the anguish in Hongjoong's voice, and the weight of his pain was so tangible, it felt like it had pressed down onto your chest as well. He had always been the person others turned to for support - strong, dependable, someone who had always been a rock for those around him. But now, it seemed like the rock was breaking.
“I'm so sorry, Hongjoong,” you murmured again, unsure what else you could offer. You couldn't even imagine how hard this was for him. The hurt in his voice mirrored the same kind of sorrow you felt for your own family, and you both sat there for a while, not needing to say anything more. You both understood loss. You both understood the feeling of your whole world crashing down.
“What do we do now, Joongie? For the kids?”
Hongjoong looked down at his hands, fingers fidgeting in his lap as he took a deep breath, processing your question. For a long moment, there was only the quiet rustle of leaves in the wind and the distant honking of cars.
“What do we do now?” he muttered to himself, clearly frustrated. “I honestly don’t know, but… the kids... they need us, and we can’t keep letting them feel like they’re alone in this.”
“Well, summer break is coming up,” you said slowly, trying to organize your thoughts. “Maybe... maybe we could do something together? Like, take their minds off everything for a while. There’s still a lot we can do, right? Something to help them feel... normal.”
Hongjoong’s gaze lifted to meet yours, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. We could take them on some trips. Give them a change of scenery, get away from all this... stuff. I mean, Yena’s been asking about going to the lake house again. Maybe we could take the kids somewhere like that.”
You smiled at the idea. Hanbin, too, had always loved that same lake house. It could be the escape they needed. Maybe even Minseo, despite her recent moodiness, would open up if she had the right distractions.
“Yeah, that could be good,” you agreed. “Maybe a trip to the lake. And we could do some other things too - like go to an amusement park or the zoo. Somewhere fun, where they can just be kids. It won’t fix everything, but it might give them a chance to breathe.”
Hongjoong nodded, his eyes glowing with a bit more energy than before. “Exactly! A little fun, a little time away from home. Get them excited for the summer, make some good memories.”
“We’ll plan a whole summer week of distractions, then,” you said, giving him a small smile. “We’ll give them something to look forward to.”
Hongjoong’s smile widened slightly, and he gave a short laugh. “Sounds like a plan then!”
“But... there might be a small problem, Joongie. Minseo and Yena... aren't exactly friends.”
And just like that, his smile faltered for a second, his brows furrowing as he processed your words. He let out a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his neck in thought.
“I… didn’t think about that,” he admitted quietly. “They're still not on speaking terms?”
You shook your head, a tired sigh escaping you. “No, they aren't. I don’t know if it’s their personalities or something else, but they don’t exactly mesh well. And with everything that’s been going on lately… I’m worried it might be worse.”
Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, staring at the ground for a moment as he thought. “That’s... going to be tricky. I don’t want them to feel like they have to spend time together if they’re not comfortable, but at the same time, it’s hard to separate them if we’re all supposed to be spending time together.”
“Exactly,” you agreed. “I don’t want to force them into anything, but it’s going to be hard to plan activities that make everyone happy if we don’t at least try to get them to work things out.” You paused, tapping your fingers lightly on the armrest of the chair. “Maybe we could start small? Give them a chance to build something on their own terms.”
Hongjoong nodded slowly. “Yeah... We could try easing them into it. Maybe not throw them into some big group thing right away. Let them have some time to get used to the idea of spending time together again, but without forcing it.” He looked at you, a hint of concern in his eyes. “It’s going to be awkward, though. I know Minseo’s been distant with Yena for a while now.”
“Yeah, Minseo’s been pulling away, and Yena - well, no offense - she's not exactly the type to try and fix things on her own. I don’t know if she even knows how to handle Minseo's recent temper,” you admitted, your voice softening. “But maybe... maybe this summer could be a chance to get them to at least try. They don’t have to be best friends overnight, but if we give them the space to reconnect, they might surprise us.”
Hongjoong exhaled deeply, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his knee. “You’re right. Maybe it’s just a matter of giving them time. We don’t have to rush anything, and if they’re not ready, we can adjust. But if they’re going to be in the same place a lot this summer, we might have to come up with some ground rules to keep things... civil.”
You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Ground rules, huh? Like no biting each other’s heads off every time they disagree?”
Hongjoong’s lips formed a small grin. “Something like that. We’ll avoid any forced bonding, but also make sure they understand our time together might help them, too. No matter how awkward it gets, they have to remember they’re in this together for now.”
You tilted your head, a teasing glint sparking in your eyes. “Think we should draw up a contract? ‘No screaming matches, no storming off, and definitely no threatening to run away after every argument.’”
Hongjoong chuckled, shaking his head. “Knowing Minseo and Yena, they’d probably negotiate harsher terms for us.”
You laughed, feeling a bit of the tension ease. “God, we're doomed.”
“Completely,” he agreed, grinning. “But at least we go down fighting.”
“Mom, when are we there?” Hanbin whined from the back seat, his small legs swinging restlessly as he kicked the seat in front of him.
“Soon, sweetheart,” you replied patiently, twisting in your seat to glance back at him. “We’ve only got about an hour left.”
Before you could settle back in, a sharp voice cut through the air.
“Minseo, stop hogging the armrest!” Yena snapped, shoving Minseo’s elbow aside.
“Oh, please! You’ve been leaning on me this whole time,” Minseo shot back, eyes flashing.
You sighed, already feeling a headache forming. “Girls, enough. We’re going to be stuck in this car for at least another hour, please try to keep it together until then!”
Neither of them seemed particularly thrilled at the idea but begrudgingly muttered, “Fine.”
Settling back into your seat, you exhaled once again. Your gaze drifted toward Hongjoong, who had his hands steady on the wheel, his expression focused but relaxed, chuckling slightly. The sunlight filtering through the windshield caught the sharp line of his jaw, highlighting features you hadn’t allowed yourself to notice in a long time.
Huh... you thought absently, he really hasn’t changed much... except somehow he looks even better now.
Time had been remarkably kind to Hongjoong - if anything, age had sharpened his features in a way that made him look even more striking. The soft crinkles at the corners of his eyes only added depth to his good looks, and the streaks of silver in his dark hair gave him an air of effortless charm.
You caught yourself staring and quickly looked away, clearing your throat. Focus, you reminded yourself. We’re just co-parenting this trip… it's just Hongjoong, for fuck’s sake! You've known him for over 20 years now!
Shaking off the thought as quickly as it came, you turned back toward the kids. “Alright, how about we play a game? Something to keep us all from losing our minds before we get there.”
Hanbin perked up immediately, his eyes lighting up. “I wanna play I Spy!” he announced eagerly.
Minseo groaned dramatically. “That game’s so boring...”
Yena crossed her arms. “It’s better than sitting here in awkward silence.”
Before your daughter could snap back, Hongjoong’s voice chimed in, and he looked back at the children for a quick second. “How about this - whoever wins gets to pick the first activity when we get there. Sounds good?”
The girls exchanged wary glances but, to your relief, nodded reluctantly.
“Alright, Hanbin, you can go first,” you encouraged, hoping the game might ease the tension.
Hanbin beamed. “Okay! I spy with my little eye... something blue!”
Everyone glanced around the car, scanning the scenery flashing past. Minseo guessed, “The sky?”
“Nope!” Hanbin grinned mischievously.
“The sign we just passed?” Yena continued hesitantly.
“Nope!” Hanbin’s giggles grew louder.
You frowned playfully. “Is it... your shirt?”
Hanbin’s laughter erupted. “Yes! Took you long enough!”
The game continued, and after a while, the kids grew quieter. Hanbin eventually nodded off, his small head resting against Minseo’s shoulder, who tolerated it with only a mild eye-roll before gently adjusting so he’d be more comfortable. Yena was absorbed in her phone, earbuds in, lost in her own world.
Hongjoong’s fingers tapped the steering wheel rhythmically. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, a fond smile tugging at your lips. Time really had shifted so much between you, yet sitting here felt oddly... right. Familiar, in a way you hadn’t realized you missed.
“We’re almost there,” he murmured after a long stretch of silence, his voice low but warm. “You okay?”
You nodded, offering a small smile. “Yeah... it’s nice. Feels like old times, kinda.”
He chuckled softly. “Yeah... it does.”
The car eventually pulled onto a winding gravel road bordered by towering trees on its side. The air outside was warm, and you could hear cicadas humming faintly in the distance. At the end of the path stood the cozy, weathered cabin - its wooden frame sturdy and welcoming, framed by flower-filled window boxes and a wide wraparound porch.
“We’re here!” Hongjoong announced as he stalled the engine.
Hanbin stirred awake instantly, blinking sleepily before gasping in delight. “We’re here? We’re here!”
Yena and Minseo both perked up, stretching as they climbed out of the car. You followed, inhaling deeply, savoring the fresh, earthy scent of pine and warm grass.
Hongjoong stepped around the car to join you, his expression light and content. “Still looks the same, huh?”
“Yeah...” You nodded, memories of summers spent here flashing through your mind. “Feels like home.”
Before either of you could say more, Hanbin sprinted toward the cabin, shouting excitedly, “I get to pick the first activity!” Yena and Minseo exchanged knowing looks before chasing after him, laughter spilling through the air.
You and Hongjoong shared a quiet, understanding smile.
“Ready for this?” he asked playfully, his eyes crinkling in that familiar, heart-stirring way.
You laughed softly, bumping his shoulder. “Let’s see if we can survive the kids.”
After a whirlwind of unpacking - bags hauled inside, beds claimed, and a brief argument between the girls over god knows what - the cabin finally settled into a somewhat peaceful rhythm. The kids’ things were scattered in every direction, but at least no one was actively yelling anymore.
Well, almost no one.
“I’m not sharing a room with her!” Yena declared, arms crossed as she stood in the small hallway, glaring daggers at Minseo.
“Good, I don’t want to share with you either,” Minseo shot back, equally stubborn.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, already feeling a familiar headache creeping in again. Before you could step in, Hongjoong spoke up, taking care of the situation for you.
“Fine. Minseo, you take the small room upstairs. Yena, you get the pullout couch in the living room. Problem solved.”
Both girls opened their mouths to argue, but something in Hongjoong’s gaze made them reconsider. Grumbling, they grabbed their bags and stomped off in opposite directions.
You sighed, shooting Hongjoong a grateful look. “Crisis averted… for now.”
He smirked. “Not bad for our first hour here.”
Then reality hit you. “Wait... if Minseo’s in the small room and Yena’s in the living room... where are we sleeping?”
His brow furrowed for a moment before realization dawned. He let out a resigned chuckle. “There’s only one bed left... the master.”
Your stomach flipped. You hadn’t even considered that possibility when booking the cabin, assuming the girls would share like they used to when they were younger.
“Well...” You cleared your throat. “It’s a big bed. We’ll... manage.”
Hongjoong nodded, still smiling faintly. “We’ve survived worse.”
You tried not to read much into the warmth in his voice, quickly busying yourself by unpacking. Sharing a bed with your best friend felt... somewhat weird. But at least you were both adults. It would be fine.
Probably.
Once everything was sorted and the girls' tempers cooled down, Hanbin burst into the living room, practically vibrating with excitement and jumping up and down like a bouncy ball. “I know what I want to do first!” he announced, with sparkling eyes and a huge smile on his face.
Minseo leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “This better not be something ridiculous.”
Hanbin ignored her, bouncing on his toes. “I want to go to the lake! We can swim and skip rocks!”
Yena groaned a little but didn’t protest, clearly itching to stretch her legs after the long drive. Minseo sighed but grabbed her swimsuit from her bag without further complaint.
You exchanged a glance with Hongjoong, who smirked knowingly. “Guess the lake it is,” he said, grabbing a couple of towels from the stack you’d unpacked.
Within minutes, everyone was ready, swimsuits on and sunscreen applied. The well-worn path to the lake stretched through a small wooded area surrounded by trees. The distant sound of water lapping against the shore grew louder as you approached.
When the trees parted, the lake spread out before you, sparkling like glass under the sinking sun. The familiar wooden dock jutted into the water, weathered but still sturdy, just as you remembered.
Hanbin wasted no time, sprinting toward the dock in a hurry. “Watch me, mom!” he yelled before cannonballing into the water with an impressive splash.
You laughed, shielding your face from the spray. “Careful!”
Minseo and Yena exchanged a glance before racing toward the water, both diving in gracefully. Their laughter echoed across the water as they surfaced, already bickering over whose dive was better.
You sat down on the dock’s edge, dipping your feet into the cool water. It was refreshing against your skin, easing the lingering tension from the long drive.
Hongjoong settled next to you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. He rested his arms on his knees, eyes on the kids as they played and splashed. His expression softened.
“It’s nice seeing them like this,” he murmured, his voice low and thoughtful.
“Yeah...” You nodded, watching Hanbin laugh as Minseo playfully dunked Yena under the water. “It feels... right. Like they’re making the same memories we did.”
Hongjoong’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, something unreadable in his eyes. Before he could say anything, Hanbin’s voice rang out.
“Uncle Hongjoong! Mom! Come swim with us!” He waved both arms excitedly, his face lit up with pure joy.
You hesitated, but Hongjoong was already standing, pulling off his shirt in one smooth motion. He glanced back at you, smirking. “You coming, or what?”
Your breath hitched for a split second, heat rushing to your face as you watched Hongjoong pull his shirt over his head. His toned torso gleamed under the afternoon sun, soft muscles flexing effortlessly as he stretched. Hongjoong wasn't that muscular, not even in his youth, but he was lean and strong and pretty.
You swallowed hard, feeling like a teenager all over again - heart pounding, pulse quickening - as if seeing a man's body for the first time.
Get it together. It’s just Hongjoong.
You quickly tore your gaze away. But then, as your children waited for you to join them in the lake, insecurity crept in like an unwelcome guest. Your eyes flickered downward, taking in your own reflection in the water’s rippling surface. Time hadn’t been as kind to you as it had been to Hongjoong. Years of motherhood, stress, and life had left soft curves where there once were muscles, stretch marks tracing the story of your children’s lives on your skin.
You tugged at the hem of your swimsuit self-consciously, smoothing it over your hips.The doubts remained though - you weren’t the same you once were, and standing next to someone like Hongjoong only highlighted every insecurity you tried so hard to ignore.
“Hey,” his voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, warm and gentle. You looked up, startled, only to find him standing at the edge of the dock, hand outstretched toward you, a familiar spark in his eyes. “You coming or what?”
His smile was so easy, so genuine - like he saw you, not the flaws you couldn’t stop focusing on. Like you hadn’t changed at all in his eyes.
Like you two were still 16, and Minji and Hyunwoo never broke you.
Before you could overthink it, you slipped your hand into his. His fingers closed around yours firmly, pulling you to your feet with effortless strength.
“Let’s go,” he urged, eyes crinkling in that familiar, heart-melting way.
Without giving yourself time to hesitate, you stepped forward - and together, hand in hand, you jumped into the cool, welcoming embrace of the lake.
“Oh my god, it's so cold!” you shrieked once you surfaced again.
Hongjoong surfaced right beside you, laughing as he wiped water from his face. “What did you expect? This lake has always been freezing.”
You splashed water at him playfully. “You could’ve warned me!”
He dodged the spray, grinning. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Before you could retaliate, Hanbin swam over, eyes wide with excitement. “Did you see my cannonball, Uncle Hongjoong? Wasn’t it awesome?”
“It was epic!” Hongjoong praised, ruffling the boy’s damp hair. “You’re practically a pro now.”
Hanbin beamed proudly, already plotting his next jump off the dock. Yena and Minseo swam closer, still competing against each other.
“Bet I can swim to the dock faster than you,” Minseo challenged Yena.
“Oh, you’re on,” Yena shot back, already propelling herself through the water.
You laughed, watching them go. “Some things never change.”
Hongjoong chuckled beside you, treading water effortlessly. “Good to see them like this... even if they argue half the time.”
“Yeah.” You nodded, feeling the ache of nostalgia tug at your chest.
Before you could linger too long in your thoughts, a mischievous gleam lit up Hongjoong’s eyes. “Race you back to the dock?”
You raised a brow. “Really? You think you can still beat me?”
His smirk widened. “Still? I always beat you.”
“Dream on,” you challenged, already pushing off the water.
The two of you surged forward, the cold water slicing around you as you swam with everything you had. For a moment, you were young again - no responsibilities, no past heartaches - just two old friends racing through the water like nothing had ever changed.
Hongjoong reached the dock a split second before you, laughing breathlessly as he gripped the edge. “Still got it.”
You gasped, trying to catch your breath, splashing water at him. “Barely.”
He leaned against the dock, still laughing, his face inches from yours. His gaze softened, lingering on you in a way that felt... different - familiar but weighted with something deeper, something unsaid.
You remembered that gaze. It was the same way he looked at you many, many years ago.
“Hey...” His voice was low, almost hesitant.
Your breath caught, but before either of you could speak, Hanbin’s voice rang out.
“Mom! Uncle Hongjoong! Watch this!”
You snapped back to reality just in time to see Hanbin launching himself off the dock in another dramatic cannonball. Water sprayed everywhere, making you both laugh as the moment slipped away like the ripples spreading across the lake.
Hours passed, and as the sun dipped lower on the horizon, the chill of the evening air slowly began to set in. Yena and Minseo were still splashing and laughing, but even their boundless energy was bound to fade.
“Alright, girls!” you called. “Time to head back and get some dinner.”
Yena groaned dramatically. “Already?”
“It’s getting late,” Hongjoong reasoned, wading out of the water. “And I’m pretty sure Hanbin’s about to pass out.”
You turned to see your son curled up on the dock, wrapped in a damp towel, his chest rising and falling with deep, steady breaths. A fond smile tugged at your lips. “Poor thing played himself out.”
Hongjoong was already stepping onto the dock, water still dripping from his hair as he crouched beside Hanbin. “Guess I’m on carrying duty.”
“Joong, I can-”
He waved you off with a playful smirk. “I’ve got him.” With surprising ease, he scooped Hanbin into his arms, cradling the boy’s head against his shoulder. Hanbin stirred faintly but didn’t fully wake up, sighing contentedly in his sleep.
Your heart clenched at the sight - at how effortlessly Hongjoong fit into moments like this, how natural he looked carrying your son…
Minseo and Yena trailed behind as you led the way back toward the house, still chatting about god knows what.
By the time you reached the back porch, the sky was a deep shade of blur, stars beginning to pierce through the fading twilight. You unlocked the door and gestured toward the cozy living room.
“Lay him on the couch,” you suggested quietly.
Hongjoong nodded, carefully settling Hanbin onto the plush cushions, adjusting a blanket over him. He lingered a moment, brushing damp hair from Hanbin’s forehead with a tenderness that made your chest ache.
“Thanks,” you whispered, unable to keep the emotion from your voice.
He met your gaze, something unreadable flickering in his dark eyes. “Anytime.”
Before the silence could stretch too long, Minseo poked her head into the room. “Mom, what’s for dinner?”
You smiled faintly, clearing your throat. “How about spaghetti?”
Minseo’s face lit up. “Can we help?”
“Of course.” You motioned toward the kitchen. “Yena, you too. You’re on garlic bread duty.”
The girls rushed ahead, their giggles echoing through the house. Hongjoong lingered in the doorway, watching his daughter with that soft, distant expression he always got when he thought no one was looking.
“How about you take a shower first? No need to help, me and the girls got this,” you suggested.
Hongjoong groaned, stretching his body. “You sure?”
“Positive. You drove us here, I'll make dinner. It's the least I can do.”
Hongjoong hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on you before nodding slowly. “Alright, but call me if you need anything.”
You smiled warmly. “Go. We’ve got it.”
He disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone in the kitchen with the girls. Minseo was already setting a pot of water to boil while Yena hunted for the garlic bread ingredients.
“Mom, where’s the bread knife?” Minseo asked, rummaging through a drawer.
“Top left, under the cutting board.”
Yena held up a baguette triumphantly. “Found it!”
You chuckled, grabbing an apron from the hook. “Alright, let’s make this quick before you two pass out too.”
You couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of peace as you watched the girls. It made you think… When was the last time Minseo and Hanbin were this relaxed, this happy when Hyunwoo was still around? Of course they loved their father, but when the two of you were still married, the atmosphere was always tense. Never this light nor carefree.
It's all thanks to Hongjoong and even Yena that your children could forget their worries and be happy. And even you could feel yourself smile and laugh without a single worry in the world right now.
Just as you were finishing the sauce, you heard soft footsteps behind you. Turning, you found Hongjoong leaning against the doorway, freshly showered, his hair damp and tousled, wearing a simple hoodie and sweatpants. He looked so relaxed, so… right.
“Smells amazing,” he said, his voice warm.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” you replied, pretending your heart hadn’t just skipped a beat.
“Need me to set the table?” he offered.
“Already done,” Minseo piped up proudly.
He chuckled. “You girls are fast.”
“Sit,” you insisted, waving him toward the dining table. “Relax for once.”
Hongjoong held up his hands in surrender, moving to take a seat as the girls carried plates and bowls to the table.
Once everything was set, you all gathered around, Yena claiming the seat next to her father and eagerly telling him something, while Minseo took the seat right next to you. For a moment, it felt like you were part of something whole again - just a family sitting and eating together.
As the meal wound down, Hanbin stirred from the couch, his sleepy trying to blink the sleep away. “Mom...?”
You were by his side in an instant. “Hey, baby. You hungry?”
He nodded slowly, still half-asleep. Before you could lift him, Hongjoong was already there, scooping Hanbin up with practiced ease and settling him gently into a chair.
“Thanks, Uncle Joong,” Hanbin mumbled, leaning against him as you placed a small plate of spaghetti in front of him.
Hongjoong ruffled his hair with a fond smile. “Anytime, buddy.”
Hanbin had finished only a few bites of his spaghetti before sleep claimed him again. You and Hongjoong exchanged a knowing look. Without a word, he gently lifted Hanbin into his arms once more, cradling him like it was second nature. You followed him down the hall to Hanbin’s room, pushing the door open softly.
Hongjoong laid Hanbin down on the small bed, tucking the blanket up to his chin. His expression was so tender, so full of quiet affection that it made your heart ache in ways you couldn’t quite explain. You stood at the foot of the bed, watching in silence as he smoothed Hanbin’s hair one last time before stepping back.
“Goodnight, buddy,” he whispered.
You mouthed a silent thank you as you both slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind you.
You and Hongjoong walked down the hall, your shoulders brushing ever so slightly as you walked side by side. Neither of you spoke, but the comfortable silence between you felt like its own kind of conversation.
As you reached your shared living space for the holidays, Hongjoong stretched with a quiet groan, running a hand through his still damp hair. “I think I’m officially done for the day,” he admitted, a tired but content smile tugging at his lips.
You chuckled softly. “Go lay down already, I’ll check on the girls.”
He hesitated for a moment, searching your face as though he wanted to say something more, but ultimately he just nodded. “Goodnight... and thanks for today. For everything.”
“Anytime,” you replied warmly, echoing his earlier words.
He disappeared into your shared room, leaving you standing alone in the dimly lit hallway. With a soft sigh, you headed toward the girls’ rooms, pausing outside Minseo’s door. Peeking inside, you found her already curled up under her blankets, fast asleep. You adjusted her comforter gently before stepping back.
Just as you turned to leave, a faint, choked sound reached your ears - muffled sobs coming from Yena’s room. Your chest tightened, knowing instantly what it meant. You hesitated, fingers hovering over her door. You weren’t her mother... you didn’t want to overstep.
But you couldn’t just walk away either.
You knocked lightly, your voice soft but steady. “Yena? It’s... it’s me. Can I come in?”
There was a long, agonizing silence. Just when you thought she wouldn’t answer, her voice, small and slightly hoarse, finally whispered, “...Okay.”
You pushed the door open slowly and found her curled up in a tight ball on her bed, her face buried in her arms, shoulders trembling with quiet sobs. The soft glow of the moon bathed her room in silver light, casting long shadows across the walls.
Carefully, you sat on the edge of her bed, not wanting to crowd her. “Hey... what’s going on?”
“I just… I just wish mom was here, you know? But… but at the same time, I wish I'd never have to see her again… but I-i,” she choked out.
Your heart shattered at the weight of her words.
“I don’t... I don’t get how she could just do that to dad,” Yena continued, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and grief. “She was supposed to love him... to love me… but she ruined everything.”
Tears burned at the back of your eyes, but you kept your voice steady. “It’s okay to feel both, Yena. Missing her doesn’t mean you’re forgiving what she did... and being angry doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving her.”
She sniffled, wiping at her tear-streaked face. “I hate that I still care… that part of me wants her back, even after everything she did.”
Carefully, you rested a gentle hand on her back. “That just means you have a big heart… and you love deeply. It’s not wrong to feel that way.”
Her lip trembled as she whispered, “It hurts so much.”
Without thinking, you opened your arms. She hesitated for only a second before collapsing into your embrace, her sobs breaking free as she clung to you.
“I’ve got you,” you whispered, holding her tightly. “You’re allowed to feel everything... you don’t have to carry it alone.”
You held Yena close, letting her cry until the worst of her sobs subsided. You gently stroked her hair, whispering soothing words as her trembling lessened.
“I know it’s hard,” you murmured. “But you’re not alone, Yena. You’ll never be alone.”
A quiet shuffling sound drew your attention to the doorway. Minseo stood there, her dark hair tousled from sleep, eyes groggy but alert.
Yena tensed the moment she noticed her, eyes narrowing.
“What are you doing here?” Yena’s voice cracked.
“Minseo, sweetheart... maybe you should go back to bed,” you suggested softly, not wanting to escalate things.
But Minseo didn’t budge. Without a word, she walked over, climbed onto the bed, and sat on the opposite side, her small hand reaching out to rest atop Yena’s.
Yena flinched but didn’t pull away, confusion flashing across her tear-streaked face.
“I... I get it,” Minseo said quietly, her voice steady but strained. “I miss my dad too... but I also hate him... and I don’t know how to stop feeling both.”
Your breath hitched.
Then, turning to you, she continued: “I don’t understand why you hate him… why you left him, mom...” Minseo continued, her fingers curling against Yena’s. “He was always nice... to me, at least. He never yelled or hit you... so why did you leave? Why did he stop talking to me? Why... why did everything have to change?”
Her voice cracked, tears filling her wide, questioning eyes. “I feel like I’m the reason he’s gone... like if I’d been better, maybe he would’ve stayed.”
Yena stared at Minseo. Then, quickly, she shook her head.
“It’s not your fault,” Yena whispered. “Parents... they just... mess up sometimes.”
Minseo’s lips trembled. “But he left... he doesn’t even call anymore. And... and mom, you never tell me what happened... you just expect me to be okay with it.”
Your heart broke all over again. “Minseo... I’m so sorry.”
For the first time, Yena squeezed Minseo’s hand. “I thought it was my fault too... what my mom did. But... maybe... it’s not about us.”
Minseo nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. “It still hurts.”
“I know,” Yena whispered. “It hurts for me too.”
Without another word, the two girls leaned into each other, and giggled as they hit their heads.
They didn't even notice that you were long gone and soon fell asleep in each other's arms.
The car doors slammed shut one after another as you, Hongjoong, Yena, Minseo, and Hanbin stepped out into the parking lot of the amusement park. It has been Hanbin’s dream for the longest time to go here, and so it wasn't a surprise to see him practically vibrating with excitement, unable to stand still. “Can we go on the rides now?” he begged, bouncing on his toes.
“Shoes first,” you reminded gently, watching as he hastily retied a crooked lace.
Meanwhile, Minseo and Yena stood off to the side, chatting and giggling quietly about something only they understood. They shared a glance and broke into another round of laughter.
Hongjoong, locking the car, paused mid-motion, eyes narrowing suspiciously at the two girls. “...Are they laughing together?”
You bit back a smile, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Minseo and Yena rarely went five minutes without bickering - this newfound harmony was bound to set off alarm bells in his overprotective brain.
“They’re allowed to get along, you know,” you teased, nudging him playfully.
He scoffed. “Since when?”
Before you could answer, Hanbin tugged at Hongjoong’s arm. “Please, can we go now?” His eyes sparkled with pure excitement.
“Alright, alright, let’s go before you explode,” Hongjoong relented, ruffling the boy’s hair.
As you all headed toward the amusement park entrance, Hanbin sprinted ahead, pointing at every ride he saw, his excitement even infecting you.
Yena and Minseo walked side by side, still wrapped up in their own quiet little world.
Hongjoong couldn’t stop glancing at them, looking utterly confused. “This is... still so weird to see,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “They don’t fight anymore? What happened?”
You hid a smile. “Guess we'll never know.”
It has been two days since that night, yet every time he saw them together actually getting along, Hongjoong still acted like he'd just seen a ghost. It was hilarious honestly.
He shot you a suspicious look but let it go, too distracted by Hanbin waving frantically near the ticket booth. “Come on! We’re wasting time!”
With tickets finally secured, you stepped into the park. Hanbin immediately took off like a rocket, forcing you and Hongjoong to jog after him.
“Let’s do that one!” Hanbin shouted, pointing to a massive roller coaster twisting through the sky.
“That’s a bit intense for a first ride,” you laughed. “Maybe we can try something a little... less likely to send me into cardiac arrest?”
Hanbin groaned dramatically but agreed. Yena and Minseo quietly whispered, eyeing the spinning teacup ride nearby.
“How about the teacups first?” you suggested.
To your surprise, both girls nodded eagerly. Even Hanbin agreed after a moment’s thought - probably because it meant getting on a ride as soon as possible.
As the ride operator let you in, Hanbin raced to grab a seat, demanding that Hongjoong spin their cup as fast as possible. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way Hongjoong rolled his eyes but complied, already bracing himself for Hanbin’s shouts of “Faster Uncle Hongjoong, faster!”
You settled into another teacup with Minseo and Yena, the three of you spinning gently while the girls giggled every time it went a little fast.
After the teacups, you stretched your arms with a contented sigh. Your body wasn't getting any younger and even this little activity settled deep into your bones. “How about the Ferris wheel next? We can get a better view of the park from up there and plan what to do after.”
Hanbin’s face scrunched in disappointment. “The Ferris wheel? That’s boring!”
Before you could respond, Hongjoong gently ruffled his hair. “It’s not boring. It’s a good way to see where all the best rides are.”
Hanbin crossed his arms but reluctantly followed as you headed toward the towering Ferris wheel.
As you approached the line, Hanbin perked up. “I wanna ride with Minseo and Yena!”
The girls exchanged glances, raising their eyebrows. “Sorry, Hanbin,” Minseo said with mock seriousness. “Only girls allowed.”
“Yeah,” Yena added playfully. “You’re too little anyway.”
“Am not!” Hanbin stomped his foot, his cheeks turning red.
You opened your mouth to intervene, but Hongjoong gently placed a hand on your arm, shaking his head subtly. “Hey, bud,” he called to Hanbin. “You can ride with us.”
But Hanbin, now thoroughly offended, huffed and stomped toward an empty cart on his own.
“Hanbin, wait-” you started, but the ride operator had already secured the gate behind him. He plopped down in the cart with crossed arms, glaring at nothing in particular.
Hongjoong sighed. “He’s fine. He just needs a minute.”
You nodded, though worry still tugged at your chest. As the Ferris wheel slowly lifted you into the sky, you watched Hanbin’s cart ahead of yours. His pouty face softened a little as he gazed out over the park, clearly enchanted by the view despite his earlier protest.
Hongjoong also watched the children for a little before collapsing back into his seat, a groan escaping him.
“You look tired,” you said gently, breaking the comfortable silence.
He blinked, surprised. “Tired? Nah... I’m fine.”
“Liar.” You smirked knowingly. “You’ve been running around after Hanbin all day.”
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Guess I’m not as young as I used to be.”
Without thinking, you shifted closer, reaching toward his shoulder. “Here, let me-”
Before your fingers could make contact, Hongjoong straightened abruptly, his eyes widening. “Ah! No need- seriously!”
You raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You sure? You were literally wincing earlier.”
He waved a hand dismissively, though a faint flush crept up his neck. “I-I probably just... slept weird last night or something.”
“...Right.” You couldn’t help but laugh softly at how flustered he’d become. “I don't bite, Hongjoong.”
He scratched his head, avoiding your gaze. “I know. I just... you don’t have to.”
His shyness was almost endearing, and you found yourself smiling widely.
Then, even though you were already moving on in your mind, Hongjoong let out a small, guilty sigh, and you perked up at that sound. “Okay... I might’ve brought my laptop.”
You blinked at him. “...Seriously? Joong, we’re on vacation. You promised no work.”
“I’m not working,” he defended himself quickly. “It’s just... in case something urgent comes up.”
You shook your head, half-amused, half-exasperated. “You’re hopeless.”
Before he could reply, the Ferris wheel gave a sudden, sharp jolt, making the entire cabin shake. You gasped as you lost your balance, tumbling forward and right into Hongjoong’s chest.
His arms wrapped around you instinctively, holding you securely against him. Your palms rested against the soft fabric of his hoodie, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath.
“You okay?” he asked, voice softer now, concerned.
“Y-Yeah.” You nodded, still pressed against him. “That... wasn’t supposed to happen, right?”
His eyes flicked upward toward the still Ferris wheel mechanism. “I don’t think so...”
Neither of you moved, still tangled together as the realization slowly set in: you were stuck.
You became acutely aware of how close your faces were, his dark eyes searching yours, warmth radiating from his body. His arm was still firm around your waist, steadying you in the swaying cart, and you couldn’t help but notice the small details about him now that the two of you were so close. The glasses perched on his nose framed his sharp, elegant features- his jawline was slightly more defined than you remembered, as if time had chiseled away the last hints of softness from his youth. His lips, faintly pursed as he looked at you with concern, were fuller than they had any right to be.
His hair, dark and slightly tousled, framed his face effortlessly, giving him an almost disheveled yet neat charm that felt... magnetic. The open collar of his shirt exposed the curve of his collarbones and the faint shadows of muscle below. You tried not to look, but your gaze betrayed you, lowering there for just a moment too long.
It hit you like a punch to the gut- why the hell were you suddenly noticing these things? You’d known him for over two decades, had seen him in every possible light, from the awkward teen years to the confident adult he’d become. He was your best friend, and yet, as he stared at you now, his brow furrowed in mild confusion, you felt... different.
Your heart stuttered unexpectedly, a warmth creeping up your neck. This was Hongjoong - the same Hongjoong who stayed up late with you for endless movie marathons, who held your hand through your hardest days, who once got his head stuck in a fence when you were kids because he thought it’d make you laugh.
And yet, the man sitting in front of you now felt like someone else entirely. Not unfamiliar, but... new. There was a subtle intensity in his gaze, a quiet confidence in the way he held himself, as though life had refined him into someone you couldn’t quite place. It made you feel unsteady, like the Ferris wheel wasn’t the only thing off balance.
“Y/N? You still with me?” his voice broke through your clouded mind, his head tilting slightly as he studied you.
“I-I’m fine,” you stammered, quickly sitting back in your seat.
He raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but didn’t press the issue. Instead, he released a soft chuckle, his lips curving into a smile that seemed to tug a little too insistently at your chest.
This was bad. Very bad. Because the thoughts you were having weren’t the kind of thoughts you should be having about your best friend.
You forced yourself to breathe, pushing away these strange, unfamiliar thoughts. Shaking your head slightly, you turned your head. Your eyes scanned the Ferris wheel, quickly landing on the girls. Minseo and Yena were chatting away in their shared cart, seemingly unbothered by the sudden stop. Minseo had her phone out, and Yena was pointing to something on the screen, both of them laughing softly. You smiled a little. At least they were okay.
But then your gaze drifted to Hanbin’s cart.
And your stomach clenched.
Your son, who had looked so happy just moments ago, now looked anything but. His small hands were gripping the safety bar tightly, his knuckles white as his eyes darted around in pure panic. He was sitting stiffly, his legs drawn up slightly as though he were trying to make himself smaller than he actually was. Even from a distance, you could see how much he was shaking.
“Hanbin,” you breathed, your voice barely audible.
Hongjoong followed your gaze, immediately becoming alarmed. “Crap,” he muttered under his breath.
“Hanbin!” you called, leaning as far as you could toward his cart without tipping over. “It’s okay, sweetheart! We’re right here!”
But Hanbin didn’t seem to hear you. His head was bowed now, his face buried in his hands. His little frame shook visibly, and your chest tightened at the sight.
Hongjoong leaned forward, trying to get his attention . “Hanbin, buddy, look at me! It’s okay! You’re safe!”
The boy’s head lifted slightly, and his tear-filled eyes locked onto Hongjoong. “I-I’m scared!” he cried, his voice breaking.
“It’s alright,” Hongjoong said. “I know it’s scary right now, but I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay? Can you do that?”
Hanbin hesitated. Then, he slowly nodded and closed his eyes. His small chest rose and fell unevenly, but it was a start.
You pressed a hand to your mouth, trying your best to stay composed.
“Hanbin,” you shouted. “Uncle Hongjoong and I are right here. You’re not alone. We’re going to get down soon, I promise.”
“You promise, mommy?” Hanbin sniffled, his big, teary eyes looking back and forth between the two of you.
Hongjoong nodded firmly. “Absolutely. But until then, we need you to be brave, okay? I mean, you’re the bravest kid I know, right?”
Hanbin’s lip quivered, but he nodded slightly, wiping at his tear-streaked face with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Good job,” Hongjoong praised. “Just keep breathing like that, bud. We’re gonna be fine.”
You reached out instinctively, your hand brushing against Hongjoong’s arm. He didn’t pull away this time, his focus entirely on Hanbin. For a brief moment, you felt a wave of gratitude for him. Hongjoong had always been amazing with your son, but now, you realized just how close they really were. It would be impossible to imagine your children’s life without him in it.
As the Ferris wheel swayed slightly again, you tightened your grip on your seat. “We need to get him down,” you murmured, glancing at Hongjoong.
“We will,” he said. His jaw tightened as he scanned the park below, likely looking for the operator or a maintenance crew. “Look,” he pointed towards a few people gathering on the ground, “it seems like they're trying to solve it already.”
You followed Hongjoong's gaze, spotting a group of workers in bright uniforms gathered near the base. They appeared to be discussing something, a few of them pointing up at the ride and gesturing animatedly. Relief washed over you, but it was fleeting. Hanbin was still up here, still scared and alone, and every passing second felt like an eternity.
“Hanbin,” you called again, “the workers are going to fix this soon, okay? Just hold tight, sweetheart.”
He nodded, yet still looked uneasy. His hands hadn’t left the safety bar, his small fingers clutching it like it was his lifeline.
“I’ve got an idea,” Hongjoong said suddenly. “Hanbin, do you remember that song we were singing in the car on the way here?”
Hanbin blinked, his tear-streaked face turning toward Hongjoong. “The silly one?”
“Exactly!” Hongjoong grinned. “How about we sing it now? You lead, and I’ll follow.”
Hanbin hesitated, clearly unsure.
“Come on, bud,” Hongjoong urged gently. “It’ll help take your mind off things. And I need you to help me remember the words, okay?”
You watched as your son’s little shoulders relaxed just a little. Then, although still hesitant, he began to sing.
“There’s a bear in the woods, and he’s wearing a hat...”
Hongjoong joined in immediately. “He’s got big, big shoes and a cat on his back...”
With each line, Hanbin’s voice grew steadier, and a small smile even managed to steal itself on his lips By the second verse, he was giggling at Hongjoong’s deliberately off-key singing, and you felt some of the tension in your chest ease.
You joined in, too, harmonizing as best as you could. Minseo and Yena, hearing the commotion, peeked out of their cart and started laughing.
“Dad, this is a terrible song!” Yena called as she and Minseo exchanged glances.
“It's amazing, thank you very much!” Hongjoong retorted, feigning offense as he continued singing with Hanbin.
For a few precious moments, everything around you seemed to disappear. Hanbin’s laugh was infectious, and even you couldn’t help but smile despite the circumstances.
“See?” Hongjoong said as the song ended, giving Hanbin a thumbs-up. “Told you you’re the bravest kid ever.”
Hanbin beamed, his earlier panic almost entirely gone. “I am, huh?”
“The bravest,” you agreed, your voice warm with pride.
Just then, the Ferris wheel gave another lurch. This time, instead of jolting to a stop, it began to move again - slowly, but steadily.
“It’s moving!” Minseo exclaimed, her voice filled with relief.
Hanbin’s eyes widened. “Are we getting down now?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” you said, your own relief evident in your voice. “We’re getting down.”
The descent felt excruciatingly slow, but eventually, the children's carts snd then yours reached the bottom. The ride operator opened the gate, and you practically leaped out, eager to feel the ground under your feet again.
“Hanbin!” you called, rushing to your son immediately. He jumped into your arms without hesitation, his small body clinging to you tightly.
“You did so good, baby,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m so proud of you.”
Hongjoong crouched beside you, ruffling Hanbin’s hair. “Told you you were brave.”
Hanbin looked up at him, his eyes still a little red. “Thanks, Uncle Joong.”
“Anytime, bud,” Hongjoong said with a soft smile.
Minseo and Yena joined you shortly after, both girls looking relieved to see Hanbin was fine again. Luckily, they were almost completely unbothered by the whole ordeal.
After a while, Hongjoong stood up again and let out a sigh. “Alright, no more Ferris wheels today. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” you said, still holding Hanbin close.
“Can we do the bumper cars instead?” Hanbin asked, his big eyes looking up at you.
You exchanged a glance with Hongjoong, both of you smiling.
“Bumper cars it is,” he said. The girls also agreed without hesitation. It seemed like none of you could say no to Hanbin right now.
“Pretty eventful day, huh?” Hongjoong said quietly, careful not to disturb the sleeping kids in the backseat. He shifted slightly, leaning his head against the window as you drove through the quiet streets.
“That’s one way to put it,” you replied, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “I’m still trying to figure out how Hanbin managed to hit me in the back of the head during that water gun game.”
Hongjoong chuckled. “That kid’s got good aim when it counts. Though I’m pretty sure Minseo was going for me the whole time.”
“Probably,” you said with a grin. “She told me earlier you were her ‘biggest threat.’ You should be honored.”
“Honored? I’m terrified,” he teased, leaning his head back. “She’s ruthless. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid so determined to win.”
“She gets it from me,” you admitted, glancing over at him briefly. “I may have had a bit of a competitive streak when I was her age, remember?”
“‘May have’?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Remember when we sneaked out to the arcane the day we had that exam? You were so determined to beat me in every fucking game we stayed so much longer than we intended to!”
You laughed, shaking your head at that memory. “Guilty as charged, Mr. Kim.”
He just rolled his eyes, so you focused on the road again. Your thoughts drifted back to the rest of the day, and you smiled fondly.
After the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars, the kids had insisted on trying out the water guns game. Hanbin had been determined to win a prize, his small hands gripping the water gun tightly as he aimed at the moving targets. Despite his best efforts, it was Minseo who ended up winning, much to his dismay. She’d teased him mercilessly until Yena stepped in, offering to share the plush dolphin she’d won earlier, which made Hanbin so happy he didn't leave the poor girl alone the whole time.
Then there was the roller coaster, which had been Minseo and Yena’s idea. Hanbin had been hesitant at first, clutching your hand tightly as you all waited in line, but his nervousness quickly turned into excitement once the ride began. You could still hear the sound of his laughter as the cart climbed to the top of the track, followed by his delighted screams as it rushed down the steep drop. Minseo and Yena had their hands in the air the whole time, having the time of their lives, while you and Hongjoong tried your best not to get nauseous. By the time the ride was over, Hanbin was begging to go again.
And, of course, there was the faithful cotton candy fiasco. Hanbin had managed to get more of the sticky treat on his face than in his mouth, and Yena had accidentally dropped hers, resulting in a brief meltdown that was only solved when Hongjoong offered to share his. The sight of him holding a piece of pink fluff out to his daughter, being all dramatic he'd had to share, was one you’d never forget.
“Hey,” Hongjoong said suddenly, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re smiling. What’s on your mind?”
“Hm? Just… the whole day, I guess,” you admitted. “The kids were so happy today.”
“They were,” he agreed, a huge smile on his face. “And you? Were you happy?”
You glanced over at him, surprised by the question. “I… yeah, I think I was. It’s been a while since I’ve felt that way. Hyunwoo didn't cross my mind once today, which is… good. Surprising, but good.”
Hongjoong didn’t respond right away, his gaze fixed on the passing streetlights. “You know,” he said quietly, breaking the silence, “I don’t think I thought about Minji once today, either.”
You swallowed hard, gripping the steering wheel tighter for a moment before forcing yourself to relax. “That’s a first, huh?” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “A good one.”
Neither of you said anything else after that. You focused on the road ahead, the familiar curve of the driveway to your holiday house coming into view. As you pulled in, the headlights swept across the front porch, casting soft light onto the porch. You parked and turned off the engine, plunging the car into silence.
You sat there for a moment, staring straight ahead, your hands still resting on the steering wheel. The only sound was the faint snoring of the kids in the backseat.
And then, before you could think twice about it, the words tumbled out of your mouth. “Sometimes, I wish I married you instead of Hyunwoo.”
The moment the words left your mouth, your breath caught in your throat, and your hands immediately tightened their grip on the steering wheel. It felt as though the world around you had frozen, the silence inside the car growing impossibly heavy. You didn’t dare look at Hongjoong, but you could feel his gaze on you - intense, and just as shocked as you felt.
You hadn’t meant to say it. You hadn’t even consciously thought about it until the words were out in the open, hanging between you like a live wire. Your heart pounded in your chest, your pulse so loud in your ears that it drowned out everything else.
What the hell had you just done?
Hongjoong finally broke the silence, staring at you with wide eyes. “You… you wish you married me?”
His tone wasn’t accusatory, but it wasn’t indifferent, either. It was soft, uncertain, like he was trying to wrap his head around what you’d just admitted. And that made it even worse, because now you had to confront the weight of what you’d said - what you’d always been too afraid to acknowledge.
“I…” You swallowed hard, shaking your head slightly as you stared down at your lap. “I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t mean to- it just-” You stopped yourself, closing your eyes as you tried to organize the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions raging inside you.
The truth was, you didn’t know how to feel about it. For twenty years, you’d been with Hyunwoo. And yes, those years had been difficult -especially toward the end - but they hadn’t all been bad. There was a time when you’d loved him deeply, when you’d believed he was the person you were supposed to spend your life with. The early years of your marriage had been filled with so much laughter, passion, and the kind of love that made you feel like you could take on anything together.
But as the years passed, things had gradually changed. The love you’d once shared had been replaced by resentment and silence, by arguments that left you feeling more alone than ever. And yet, even then, you’d held onto the memories of what you used to have, convincing yourself that if you just tried hard enough, you could get it all back.
And through it all, through 20 years of life and hardships, there was Hongjoong. Your best friend, your confidant, the one person who seemed to understand you even when you didn’t understand yourself. He was always there. But you never let yourself think of him as anything more than a friend - not really. Maybe in your early teenage years you were crushing on him, but after that, you buried these thoughts deep within you. Because to admit that would have meant facing the fact that something was missing in your marriage. And you weren’t ready to face that. Not then.
But now… now you were free. And so was he. And suddenly, the barriers you’d spent so long building between you were starting to crumble.
“I loved Hyunwoo,” you said finally, your voice trembling slightly. “I did. At least… at the start, I did. I loved him enough to marry him, to build a life with him. But somewhere along the way, it just… it stopped working. And I tried so hard to fix it, to make it better, but-” You paused, letting out a shaky breath. “But I think, deep down, I always knew there was something missing.”
Hongjoong didn’t say anything, but you could feel him listening intently, just like he always did.
“And you…” You hesitated, finally forcing yourself to meet his gaze. His eyes were wide, vulnerable in a way you’d rarely seen. “You’ve always been there, Joong. Even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I was too blind or too stubborn to see it. And I don’t know… I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if it means anything at all. But today, for the first time in years, I felt happy. Really, genuinely happy. And when I think about why…” You trailed off, your throat tightening as tears threatened to spill. “It’s you.”
You felt like you’d just stripped yourself bare in front of him. You didn’t know what you were expecting - anger, confusion, maybe even rejection - but what you saw in his eyes was none of those things.
Instead, there was a genuine smile on his face.
And maybe… just maybe… hope in his eyes.
“You’re not the only one who felt that today,” he said softly, his voice steady despite the heavy emotions in his eyes. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, about you, since… since forever, if I’m being honest. But I never wanted to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. I didn’t want to make things harder for you.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you could feel the tears slipping down your cheeks now, no matter how hard you tried to hold them back. “Joong…”
“Don’t cry,” he said gently, reaching out to brush a tear away with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever.”
You leaned into his touch for a moment, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried to absorb his words. His warmth, his love, it all made you feel like you could breathe again.
But then, reality set in.
“I don’t… I don't think I’m ready,” you admitted, your voice trembling as the emotions began to spill out. “As much as I would like to… I just... Joong, I’ve never told you everything about how bad it really was… with Hyunwoo.”
His expression shifted, anger taking over his features, but he didn’t say anything, letting you speak at your own pace.
“I thought I could handle it, you know? At first, it wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t so bad. But over the years, it just… it wore me down. The way he spoke to me, the way he made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, like everything I did was wrong. And when he wasn’t yelling, it was worse. The silence, the distance, the way he looked at me like I was a burden he had to put up with. It broke me, Joong. He broke me...”
Your voice cracked on the last word, and you pressed a hand to your mouth, trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to escape. But it was useless. The tears were flowing freely now, and you couldn’t stop them.
Hongjoong’s hand moved to cover yours, gently pulling it away from your face so he could see you fully. “You don’t have to explain everything now,” he said softly, his eyes filled with a pain that mirrored your own. “But I’m here. I’m here to listen, whenever you’re ready.”
You nodded, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m still trying to figure it out, to pick up the pieces of who I used to be before him. And the kids… they need me to be strong for them, to focus on them. Especially now that Hyunwoo decided to completely ghost them. I don’t know if I can do this- if I can handle anything more. I’m scared, Joong. Scared of messing it all up again.”
“Hey,” he said, his voice steady but full of emotion. “You didn’t mess anything up. He did. And you don’t have to figure it all out right now. There’s no rush, no pressure. I’ll wait, okay? As long as it takes. I’ll wait.”
The sincerity in his voice was almost too much to bear, and the guilt that had been clawing at your chest finally broke free. “I don’t deserve this,” you whispered, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do,” he said firmly, his hands cupping your face now, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You deserve so much more than what you’ve been given. And I’ll remind you of that every single day until you believe it.”
The dam inside you broke completely then, and you collapsed into his arms, sobbing against his chest. You cried for all the pain you’d endured, for the years you’d lost, for your children, for yourself.
Hongjoong held you through it all, his arms wrapped tightly around you without letting go of you. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to let go, to be vulnerable, knowing that he would catch you if you fell.
The sound of a small, groggy voice broke through the fragile bubble you and Hongjoong had created.
"Mommy?"
You pulled back from Hongjoong’s embrace quickly, wiping your cheeks with trembling hands. Turning toward the voice, you saw Hanbin rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Why are you crying?” he mumbled, and even though he was extremely tired he still looked worried.
Your heart clenched at the sight of him. Forcing a smile onto your face, you reached back to gently brush his hair out of his eyes.
“I’m okay, sweetheart,” you whispered softly, your voice steady despite the lump still lodged in your throat. “Mommy just got a little emotional, that’s all. But everything’s fine.”
Hanbin blinked up at you, his small brow furrowing as if he wasn’t entirely convinced. His gaze flickered to Hongjoong for a moment, who offered him a reassuring smile and a gentle, “Your mom’s right, bud. Everything’s okay.”
That seemed to settle him, and he nodded sleepily, already leaning his head back against the car seat. “Okay…” he murmured, his eyes fluttering shut once more.
You let out a shaky breath, relief washing over you as his breathing evened out again. He had worn himself out so much it only took him a few seconds to fall asleep again.
Hongjoong reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Come on,” he said quietly. “Let’s get them inside.”
You nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt and stepping out of the car. The cool night air helped clear your mind a bit as you moved to open the back door. Hongjoong had already scooped Hanbin up into his arms, the boy barely stirring as he settled against him.
“I’ll grab Minseo,” you whispered, glancing over at your daughter, who was curled up in her seat with her head resting on Yena’s shoulder.
Hongjoong nodded and waited for you to unbuckle Minseo before he began carrying Hanbin toward the house. You gently shook Minseo awake, and her eyes fluttered open, a sleepy protest escaping her lips.
“Come on, sweetheart,” you said softly, helping her out of the car. “We’re home now. Let’s get you to bed.”
Minseo mumbled something incoherent but allowed you to guide her toward the house, her steps slow and heavy with exhaustion.
Once you got her inside and tucked into bed, you found Hongjoong already settling Yena under the covers on the pull out bed in the living room. He looked up as you entered, his expression softening as your eyes met.
“All good?” he asked quietly, his voice low to avoid waking the kids.
You nodded, leaning against the doorframe for a moment as you watched him adjust the blanket over his daughter. “Yeah. They’re out like lights.”
“Same here,” he said, stepping back from Yena’s bed and joining you in the hallway.
Quietly, you left, and then after changing and washing up, the two of you settled into your shared bed. It wasn’t the first time you’d shared this space, but tonight, it felt impossibly intimate.
Hongjoong turned slightly to face you, his head resting against the pillow as he studied you quietly. You mirrored his position, your bodies close enough that your knees brushed beneath the covers. His gaze was soft, tender in a way that made your heart ache.
Neither of you spoke at first, your eyes saying so much more than words ever could. Tentatively, your fingers reached out, brushing against his cheek before moving to trace the bridge of his nose, the curve of his jaw. His skin was warm beneath your touch, and he didn’t pull away. Instead, he lifted his hand to do the same, his fingers trailing along the delicate lines of your face as though he were memorizing every detail.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, and the sincerity in his tone made your chest tighten.
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head slightly. “I think you might need your eyes checked.”
“I don’t,” he replied firmly, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. “I mean it.”
His words, his touch, they were overwhelming in the best way. For the first time in years, you didn’t feel the need to deflect, to argue against the kindness being offered to you. Instead, you let yourself lean into it, into him.
You talked about nothing in particular that night, and through it all, the two of you stayed close, your fingers occasionally grazing as you spoke.
It felt like peeling back layers, like rediscovering each other in a way you hadn’t allowed yourselves to before. The sound of his voice, the warmth in his gaze - it all felt like home.
But even as sleep began to claim you both, neither of you moved away. Your hands remained loosely clasped between you, a silent promise that whatever tomorrow might bring, tonight, you were exactly where you needed to be.
The rest of the week went by quickly.
One of the other highlights was a trip to a nature trail nestled on the outskirts of town. The path wound through towering trees seemed to engulf you fully. The kids ran ahead, giggling as they pointed out interesting flowers, squirrels darting up trees, and the occasional butterfly flitting across the path. Yena and Minseo took turns being the “trail guides,” holding a small map they’d gotten from the trail’s entrance and excitedly directing the group to scenic spots.
And more often than not, the girls managed to get you all lost.
Hongjoong walked beside you, Hanbin perched on his shoulders after growing tired. “You’re taller than everyone now,” Hongjoong teased, and Hanbin let out a delighted squeal, spreading his arms like wings.
The hike led to a clearing where a stream ran through the woods, its water crystal clear. Yena and Minseo quickly shed their shoes to splash around, their laughter carrying through the forest. Hanbin joined them with a little help from Hongjoong, who rolled up his pants and stepped into the cool water with him. You sat on the bank, watching them and taking a few pictures of the scenery.
On your last day, the five of you visited a local berry farm for some hands-on fun. Buckets in hand, you and the kids wandered through rows of lush bushes heavy with ripe berries. Minseo and Yena turned it into a friendly competition, seeing who could pick the most, while Hanbin focused on eating the fruits as much as collecting them. Hongjoong stayed by his side, laughing at his enthusiasm and sneaking berries for himself when he thought no one was looking.
When everyone had their fill, you gathered under a shaded pavilion to rest. As the sun dipped lower in the sky, and all of you made yourselves comfortable on the picnic blankets you brought along, the kids started pointing out cloud shapes and sharing silly stories. Hongjoong stretched out beside you, his hand resting near yours, his thumb occasionally brushing your knuckles. It was a small, quiet moment, but it felt like the perfect end to a perfect day.
By the end of the week, everyone was pleasantly worn out, and when you packed up and left your holiday home, the children were already begging to come back next summer.
Now that you were back home, everyday life slowly returned. School had started again, and while Minseo was doing fine, Hanbin still needed your help here and there and so, everyday after work, you spent your time helping him with his homework and studies.
That, of course, also meant that you didn’t see Hongjoong much right now. Because that's the only reason, and not that you were internally freaking out about your confession and what it would mean for your future. You couldn’t explain it - not fully - but the vulnerability you’d allowed yourself that night now felt like too much, too raw. So, little by little, you began to withdraw, telling yourself it was for the best.
It started with excuses. When he knocked on your door, asking if you and the kids wanted to join him and Yena for a simple dinner or a walk to the park, you’d smile apologetically, citing exhaustion from work or chores that couldn’t wait. You kept conversations at the threshold brief, always steering them toward neutral topics and away from anything personal.
You avoided lingering in shared spaces. The mornings when you’d normally sip coffee together on the porch turned into rushed cups at the kitchen counter, your eyes trained on the clock. Even in the evenings, when the kids played together in the backyard, you made excuses to stay inside, watching them from the window instead.
But Hongjoong noticed. Of course he noticed. His subtle attempts to meet your eyes lingered longer, and the warmth in his smile dimmed slightly when you looked away too quickly. He didn’t push, didn’t confront you, and that made the distance feel even heavier.
Minseo, after making up with Yena on the trip and also blissfully unaware of the undercurrent between you and Hongjoong, continued spending time with Yena as much as possible.
It wasn’t that you wanted to pull away. If anything, every fiber of your being longed for the comfort of his presence, the steady assurance and love he offered without asking for anything in return. But that was what terrified you the most - that if you allowed yourself to lean on him too much, you might not find the strength to stand on your own again. And deep down, you feared that he might realize you weren’t as deserving as he insisted you were.
And so, for the first time since you had known Hongjoong, you let the walls between you grow taller. What you didn’t expect was just how much it would hurt.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when the school bus arrived before your house. You adjusted Hanbin’s backpack, bending down to plant a kiss on his forehead before ushering him toward the bus. Minseo followed, waving to you briefly before stepping up onto the bus.
“Have a good day!” you called after them. Hanbin turned to wave one last time before disappearing inside.
Of course your gaze drifted - inevitably - toward the house next door. Yena was climbing onto the bus herself, her dark hair swishing as she waved to Hongjoong, who stood on his porch, hands in his pockets.
Your breath hitched slightly when your eyes met his. He didn’t smile, didn’t offer the soft warmth you were used to. Instead, there was something hard in his gaze, a frustration simmering just beneath the surface. His jaw was tight, and though his stance was relaxed, there was no mistaking the tension in his shoulders.
You froze, uncertain whether to look away or acknowledge him. But he made the decision for you, stepping off his porch and striding toward your house with a deliberate calm that made your stomach twist.
“Good morning,” he said, his tone clipped.
“Morning,” you replied, your voice barely audible. You took a half-step back, feeling cornered even though he stood a few feet away.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked, cutting straight to the point. His gaze didn’t waver, and there was no softness in his expression now, just concern tinged with a mix of anger.
You swallowed hard, trying to muster an excuse, but the words caught in your throat. “I don’t know what you mean,” you said finally. You quickly glanced towards your front door. “I-I should really get to the dishes,” you stammered, taking a step back into your house. Your hand gripped the door, your knuckles white as you forced a tight smile. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
Before he could respond, you shut the door firmly, the sound of it slamming echoing in the quiet of the morning. You didn’t wait, immediately turning toward the kitchen, heart racing as you tried to escape the weight of his gaze.
But before you could take more than a few steps, the door burst open behind you, and you froze in your steps.
“Seriously?” Hongjoong’s voice was sharp as the door clicked shut behind him again. His footsteps were heavy and fast as he strode into the house.
You spun around, your stomach twisting. “Hongjoong, I-”
“No.” He didn’t stop, didn’t falter as he crossed the space between you in a matter of moments. “You don’t get to slam the door in my face like that.”
“Hongjoong, please, I just-”
“No.” Hongjoong’s voice cut through the room like steel, his gaze unwavering as he stopped just a step away from you. “You don’t get to shut me out like that.”
“Hongjoong, please,” you said, voice trembling. “I just need space.”
He tilted his head, studying you. “Space?” His voice softened, and his eyes pleaded with you. “I promised I would wait, but you're completely avoiding me, Y/N!”
You didn’t answer, eyes darting to the floor as heat rose to your cheeks. The weight of his frustration was overwhelming, but what unnerved you the most was the love that was still so evident in his eyes despite his anger.
“Y/N,” he said, voice quieter now but no less firm. “I’m not going to let you do this. Not to yourself. Not to me.”
You tried to step around him, muttering something incoherent about really needing to finish the dishes. But before you could take another step, his hand shot out, fingers curling gently but firmly around your wrist.
“You want to do the dishes?” His voice dropped low, and your whole body shuddered. “Fine. Let’s do the dishes.”
Before you could protest, he guided you to the sink, standing close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from him. He released your wrist, his hands instead resting lightly on your waist, his fingers pressing into the softness there. You stiffened, but he didn’t move away.
"Go on," he said, his voice low. "Start washing."
Your hands trembled as you reached for a plate, the silence between you heavy. You couldn’t focus - the way he was standing behind you, his chest pressed against your back, his hands on your hips made you spiral.
His breath was warm against your ear as he leaned closer. His hands stayed firm on your waist, grounding you, but it was the brush of his lips against the side of your neck that made you freeze entirely.
“Hongjoong…” you whispered, your voice trembling. You weren’t even sure if it was a plea for him to stop or to continue.
“I’m here, Y/N,” he murmured softly, his voice low and steady. “I’ve always been here. But please, just talk to me…”
The tenderness in his tone broke something inside you. His lips grazed your neck again, this time lingering longer, and an involuntary shudder ran through you. You clenched the dish you were holding.
When he kissed just below your ear, a soft, choked sound escaped your throat. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you let the plate fall back into the sink with a clatter, your hands gripping the edge of the counter for support.
“Hey…” His voice was alarmed now, and his hands quickly moved to your shoulders, turning you around to face him. The tears spilling down your cheeks made his expression soften, his anger dissolving into concern. “Y/N, talk to me.”
You wiped at your face quickly, embarrassed, but the tears wouldn’t stop. “I’m sorry,” you managed, shaking your head. “I just- I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to let you in without ruining everything.”
He frowned, his hands cupping your face gently. “You’re not going to ruin anything. Why do you think that?”
A shaky laugh escaped you, more bitter than you intended. “Because we’ve been friends for over twenty years, Hongjoong. What if we mess this up? What if we can’t go back to being… us? I can’t lose you, too.”
His thumbs brushed away the tears on your cheeks, his gaze unwavering. “Y/N, we’ve survived every other challenge life has thrown at us. We’ll survive this, too. I want to be with you, and that feeling will never stop.”
You wanted to believe him, you really did.
He studied your face for a long moment, his gaze softening. “There’s something else bothering you, right?” His voice was gentle, coaxing. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”
Your lips parted, but no words came out. You felt the lump in your throat tighten, threatening to choke you.
“It's… it's actually so dumb,” you laughed bitterly, but Hongjoong immediately shook his head.
“Is this about Hyunwoo? What did he tell you?” he asked, his voice softer now. “Whatever it is he put on you. Whatever he made you believe about yourself.” His hands slid to your hips, holding you firmly. “I’m telling you, Y/N, he was wrong.”
“Hongjoong,” you whispered, gripping the edge of the counter, “you don’t understand-”
“No, I think I do.” His voice was rough, but his touch gentle as he leaned closer. “Don’t think about him. Don’t let him take up another second of your thoughts. He doesn’t know how to appreciate a real woman.”
You froze at his words, tears prickling at your eyes. Of course he immediately knew what you were thinking about. “I’m not... I’m not who I was 20 years ago, Hongjoong. I’m not-”
“Of course you’re not,” he interrupted, his hands squeezing your full hips. “You’re not supposed to be. You’re a woman. A damn beautiful one, for fuck’s sake.”
His words broke something inside you, a sob escaping before you could hold it back. He didn’t hesitate, pulling you against him as his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as if he could shield you from every doubt, every insecurity that had ever plagued you.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” he murmured against your temple. “You’re enough, just as you are. And I swear to you, I’ll spend as long as it takes proving that to you.”
“I'm sorry for being so childish,” you mumbled into his chest, which made him chuckle a little.
“It's fine. Just don't do it again, okay? Also,” he took a step back, and you immediately missed his arms around you, “we don't have to make anything official yet. It's just you and me. No labels matter, because they won't even come close to describe the love I have for you anyways.”
“I want to take care of you,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you. We have a few hours until the children are back. Do you… I mean… if you want, of course-”
God, the way he was struggling for words made you break out into laughter, which in turn made his entire face turn a deep shade of red. You took his hand, squeezing it carefully.
“I… I feel better now that I told you. So, if you want…”
-Of course I want!”
You giggled. “Then… bedroom?”
He didn't even nod, just pulled you out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into your bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind him, he wrapped his arms around you again, this time more possessively, as if he wanted to make sure no one else would be able to see you or touch you.
His hands cupped your face, and then his lips were on yours. It was a kiss that held more promises than a thousand words.
It was the kind of kiss that made you feel safe and loved, and it was the kind of kiss that made the doubts you had previously had about him dissipate instantly.
Hongjoong kissed you as if his life depended on it, and the way his tongue moved against yours made a shiver run down your spine.
“Do you have any toys?” He suddenly asked.
“H-huh?” You blushed, remembering the hidden box of unused toys you indeed had but never used, because Hyunwoo never wanted to. And after your divorce, you kind of forgot about it anyway.
“I- well, I do. But-”
He didn't let you finish. Instead, he grabbed your hand and led you to the bed, where he made you sit.
“You can just tell me, and I'll bring them here. I'll show you how much fun it can be.”
Your stomach twisted nervously, and you looked down, your cheeks burning.
“Y/N,” he carefully said, kneeling down before you. “I want to worship you. I want to use the toys on you if you'd like that. So, tell me, do you want me to use them on you?”
You swallowed hard, still unable to look up.
“Y/N, hey,” he said softly, taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “We can wait, we don't have to-”
“N-no,” you quickly said, looking up and into his eyes. “It's not that I don't want to. I'm just a bit scared, and also-”
“Scared?” His brow furrowed. “Why would you be scared, darling?”
“Because I've never used them. I-I don't know how they work. Or-”
He gave a little smile. “I'll show you. I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun."”
“I-okay…”
“You're sure?”
"Y-yeah."
Hongjoong placed a soft kiss on your forehead, then got up and left the room. You watched him, biting your lower lip nervously.
When he came back, he had your big, white box in his hands, and his grin widened as he opened it.
“I see, my girl likes plugs, hm?”
You blushed, looking away again. “I've never tried them.”
“But you would like to try it, right?”
You nodded slowly, and the next thing you knew, Hongjoong was straddling your lap.
“Do you want to try them right now, babygirl?”
Your breath hitched in your throat, and the pet name made heat pool in your stomach.
“Yes,” you whispered.
“Good,” he breathed, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your neck. “Now, I'd love to see you try these. Which ones do you think you'll like the most, sweetheart?”
You didn't know what to say, so you pointed to a pink plug, and Hongjoong smiled.
“That looks like a good one. We'll use this, and this,” he reached for a vibrator. “I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun.”
With a quick movement, he took your shirt off, and you were suddenly very aware of the fact that you hadn't worn a bra today.
“Fuck, you're so hot,” Hongjoong murmured, his gaze hungrily roaming your body.
“'M not,” you murmured, “I gained too much weight…”
He silenced you with a kiss. “You're beautiful,” he said, his hand resting on your thigh. “And I can't wait to make you feel good.”
With that, he stood up again, and walked towards the bedside table. “Is your lube in here?”
You nodded shyly. “It is.” Hongjoong opened the drawer quickly and pulled out said bottle of lube.
“You can relax now,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you, darling.”
He helped you lie down, and then started working your pants open. Soon, you were only wearing your panties, and Hongjoong couldn't keep his eyes off your curves.
“Fuck, I love your body,” he breathed. “You're so fucking sexy, Y/N.”
You flushed, biting your lip. “Really?”
“Of course. I thought you were pretty when we were 16, but now... you're so much more than that.”
His hand brushed along your side, making you shudder. Hongjoong started to trail soft kisses down your body. Your belly, your hips, and finally, the waistband of your panties.
“Can I take these off?”
You nodded again, and he pulled your underwear down slowly.
“Look at you,” he murmured. “You're dripping already, aren't you, princess?”
“I-i’m so wet for you,” you whined, and his eyes lit up.
“So needy already, babygirl.”
He pushed your legs apart, his thumb brushing along your slit, and the sensation made you gasp.
“You're so sensitive,” he said, “I love it.”
He started rubbing slow circles on your clit, and you could feel the heat building up in your stomach already.
“Are you already close, babygirl?”
You nodded, biting your lip.
“Well, don't hold back,” he murmured, leaning down.
And then, his tongue was on your clit, making you moan. You could feel his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud, and his hand moved down to tease at your entrance.
“Fuck, Hongjoong, please,” you whined.
“So needy,” Hongjoong purred. “Do you want my fingers, sweetheart?”
“Please!”
“What's the magic word?” You blushed at his dirty words. Hearing him talk like that for the first time did some unspeakable things to you.
“P-please, Hongjoong, I want your fingers!”
You were rewarded with two of his fingers entering you, and you moaned at the stretch.
“O-oh, fuck,” you gasped.
“You're doing so well,” he murmured, starting to thrust his fingers into you.
His mouth went back to sucking on your clit, his tongue lapping at the sensitive nub. He kept fingerfucking you, his fingers hitting just the right spot, and soon, you felt the familiar feeling building up in your core. You haven't had an orgasm in so long, so it was overwhelming you in the best way possible.
“You can cum for me, princess,” Hongjoong encouraged, his tongue swirling around your clit. “Cum for me, Y/N.”
You moaned loudly, your back arching as your orgasm washed over you.
He didn't stop his movements, and you whined at the overstimulation.
“Come on, babygirl,” Hongjoong said. “Cum for me once more. You can do that for me, can't you?”
“I-i can't, please!” You cried out, and he started fingering you even harder, his tongue still teasing your clit.
“That's it, Y/N,” he breathed. “Cum for me, baby.”
The sensation was overwhelming, and soon, you felt another orgasm building up, and you moaned, throwing your head back as pleasure washed over you once more.
Hongjoong pulled his fingers out, making you whimper.
“Are you alright, princess?” He asked softly.
You nodded, still trying to catch your breath.
“How about we use the toys now, hm?”
He grabbed the pink plug, and poured some lube onto it.
“Can you stay on all fours for me, darling?”
You nodded, turning around and getting on all fours.
“Look at you, being such a good girl for me,” Hongjoong murmured, and the praise made a shiver run down your spine.
On one hand, it was weird hearing your best friend of 20 years say such filthy things to you, but on the other hand... it was kind of hot.
“Are you ready, sweetheart?”
“Please.”
You felt the cool plug teasing your entrance, and the tip slowly slid into you.
“How does that feel?”
“G-good,” you gasped.
“Tell me if it's too much, okay?”
“I will.”
“You're doing so well,” he breathed. “Do you want me to fuck you with it?”
“Y-yes,” you gasped.
“Good.”
Hongjoong started pushing the plug deeper into you, and the sensation made you moan. The toy was bigger than his fingers, and it stretched you open deliciously.
“Do you like that, princess?”
“So fucking good,” you moaned. “B-but... I wanna do something for you too, Joongie. Please?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” he replied, his voice low and rough. "”What do you have in mind?”
You bit your lip. You were embarrassed, but you needed him. You wanted to pleasure him.
“I wanna suck you off.”
He all but whined at that, and a deep blush crept up his neck.
You crawled off the bed, and Hongjoong sat down on the edge, his hands immediately running through your hair.
“You don't have to, Y/N. This is supposed to be about you.”
“I know. But I want to.”
Hongjoong's breath hitched in his throat, and he nodded.
“O-okay.”
You got down on your knees before him, and you started working his jeans open. His bulge was straining against his underwear, and you couldn't help but feel flattered that you did that to him.
“You're so hard,” you mumbled, and Hongjoong let out a groan.
“I won't last long,” he warned.
“It's fine,” you giggled.
You pulled his boxers down, and his erection sprung free, and god, it was definitely bigger than you'd imagined. Because yes, you did think about your best friend's dick before.
“Are you really sure?”
“Oh, I definitely am.”
With that, you leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the tip.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he panted. “Just like that, sweetheart.”
You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, and Hongjoong's grip on your hair tightened.
“Goddamn it,” he breathed. “D-don't stop.”
You started bobbing your head, sucking harder as you did. You felt Hongjoong's grip on your hair tighten, and the sounds he was making only spurred you on.
“So good, Y/N, just like that,” he moaned, and his praises only encouraged you more. You sucked harder, taking him deeper into your mouth, and you heard him moaning louder.
“I-I'm gonna cum, baby,” he gasped. “Where do you want me to cum?”
You couldn't reply, so instead, you just kept bobbing your head. You sucked him harder and harder, and then, you felt him twitch inside your mouth.
“Y/N!”
He came with a moan, and you swallowed all of it, the salty taste lingering on your tongue.
Hongjoong's grip on your hair relaxed.
“Fuck, Y/N, that was amazing,” he gasped.
You gave him a smile, and stood up.
“Did I make you feel good?” You asked, and Hongjoong grinned.
“Fuck yes you did.” Hongjoong leaned toward the bed, grabbing the vibrator. “Let's have some more fun with this, yeah? After all,” he looked at the clock and smirked, “the kids won't be home for a few more hours.”
24th of december, 2024.
The smell of cookies and gingerbread filled the air, the Christmas lights twinkled, and the golden ornaments were shimmering in the warm glow.
Hanbin and Yena were sitting on the floor, playing with the new dolls Hanbin had gotten for Christmas. Minseo was lounging on the couch, listening to music, and Hongjoong was helping you in the kitchen.
You couldn't help but smile to yourself, watching how Yena was listening intensely to Hanbin explaining to her how she should play with the new toys. You didn't even mind that they were a little too loud, and the sound of their voices blended with the music coming from Minseo's phone, creating a comfortable and cozy atmosphere.
“They're so cute,” Hongjoong said, handing you a mug of cocoa, “almost like real siblings.”
“I know,” you smiled, taking a sip.
Hongjoong wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, and kissed the top of your head.
It had been an intense few months. A lot of things had changed; of course, there was your relationship with Hongjoong, going from lifelong friends to partners.
You had told the kids pretty early on, and they had taken it surprisingly well. You had expected more confusion and maybe some questions, but in the end, all three of them had been delighted. Minseo's response had been a simple shrug, stating she already knew, which made you laugh. And Hanbin was already telling everyone who would listen that he now had two sisters.
But unfortunately, these had been the only good news for the kids. By now, their father had completely cut contact with the children after ghosting them the whole summer. You still remembered how Minseo and Hanbin broke down as you had to tell them, crying in your arms for hours and hours on end. His complete disappearance over the summer had left a hole in the kids' hearts that was hard to fill, and the court battle that followed only seemed to make everything worse. You could still hear their voices in your head - the way Hanbin had asked, tearfully, if he'd done something wrong to make his father leave, or how Minseo, after months of letting her anger out on you and refusing to open herself, had quietly broken down, asking what it was that made her father stop loving her. Those were the moments that hurt the most, when you couldn’t find the right words to reassure them.
It was clear Hyunwoo wanted nothing to do with his responsibilities, as if he was trying to sever all ties, not just with you, but with his children as well. His refusal to pay any child support only added salt to the wound, a constant reminder of how little he cared. The court proceedings felt like they stretched on endlessly, but it was the emotional toll on Minseo and Hanbin that made everything feel worse. You tried to keep it together for them, but there were days when you just didn’t know how to shield them from the hurt any longer.
And then there was Hongjoong’s side of things, which wasn’t any easier. Though Minji had remained in contact with Yena, it wasn’t without its complications. Yena had always looked up to her mother, but since the truth came out about her affair Yena’s world had been turned upside down. Every time Yena visited her mother, she couldn't stay long, because seeing her mother with that man she had hurt her father with hurt her a lot. And though Minji tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy, the tension between them never completely faded away.
Hongjoong's lips found their way to yours, and you sighed into the kiss.
“You're thinking about something negative again,” he murmured. “Its Christmas, Y/N. You and the kids should be happy today.”
You smiled, stealing another quick kiss from him. Just a few years earlier, you had never thought about kissing your best friend, but it had turned out to be one of the best things you'd ever experienced. He was so gentle, and his touch always sent shivers down your spine.
“I know,” you whispered against his lips, still savoring the warmth of his kiss. “It’s just hard not to think about everything, you know? Especially when I see the kids still hurting so much.”
Hongjoong nodded, his hands resting gently on your waist. “I get it,” he murmured, “but today is about us. The kids are happy, we’re happy. Let's just celebrate today.”
Then, Hanbin’s voice caught both your attention. “Mom! Uncle Hongjoong!” He called out, looking up from the dolls as his little face lit up.
You exchanged a smile with Hongjoong before both of you headed toward the kids. They were gathered around the tree, eagerly waiting for you both to join them. Hanbin was bouncing on his heels, his small hands clutching something behind his back, while both Yena and Minseo exchanged glances with each other.
“What’s going on, little man?” Hongjoong asked, kneeling down beside Hanbin. The little boy grinned wide, clearly too excited to wait any longer.
“Close your eyes!” Hanbin instructed, and Hongjoong and you exchanged amused looks before doing as told. Both of you waited in silence as Hanbin scurried to the side, the rustling of paper and soft giggles filling the air.
"Okay, open them!" Hanbin’s voice rang out, and you opened your eyes to see him holding a small, carefully wrapped box. Minseo stood beside him, and she had a shy, almost nervous smile on her face as well.
Hongjoong blinked in surprise as he took the box, lifting it gently and peeling back the wrapping. It was a small, hand-painted mug with a simple design - stars and a moon. The kind of mug that felt like it belonged to a cozy winter morning, a mug that would hold the warmth of tea or cocoa on chilly days.
“This is for you, Uncle Hongjoong,” Hanbin said proudly, looking up at him with bright eyes. Yena added, almost quietly, “Thank you for always taking care of Mom and us.”
It was clear that Hongjoong was caught a little off guard. He hadn’t expected anything, and the unexpected kindness from your kids left him momentarily speechless. It was clear that, while they hadn’t yet made a full leap into calling him “Dad,” they had built a bond so much deeper - something that felt like a real family, even if it wasn't your stereotypical one.
Hongjoong took the mug from Hanbin, and embraced both Minseo and Hanbin in a long hug. “Thank you, both of you,” he said. “This means a lot to me.” He looked at you for a moment, his expression tender, before continuing. “You guys are so special to me.”
Yena stood off to the side, quietly watching the exchange between Hongjoong and her new siblings. Her hands were clasped together, fingers wringing nervously as she looked down at the floor for a moment. But as Hongjoong and your kids still continued to talk quietly, she stepped forward, holding something small and neatly wrapped in her hands.
You noticed her then, the soft hesitation in her movements, the way she was trying to come put of her shell. With a gentle smile, you beckoned her closer. "What do you have there, Yena?" you asked.
Yena hesitated, her gaze flicking between you and the others before she stepped forward, placing the small gift in your hands. "I... I wanted to give this to you," she murmured, her voice soft, almost as if she was unsure of your reaction.
You smiled, genuinely touched by her effort, and carefully peeled away the wrapping. Inside was a small, handmade bracelet - delicate and simple, with a charm that resembled a heart and stars hanging from it. It was something you could tell Yena had put a lot of time into making, something personal that she was choosing to give to you.
"It's beautiful, Yena," you said, your heart swelling with affection as you gently took her hand in yours, running your fingers over the bracelet. "Thank you."
Yena's cheeks flushed a little at your words, but there was a small, shy smile tugging at her lips. She looked down at her feet for a moment before her voice broke through the silence once again, this time quieter than before. "I know I don't call you Mom," she started, her words carefully chosen. "And I don't know if I ever will. But I... I want you to know that I'm really happy you're here with us. And that you make Dad happy." She paused, then added, her voice just barely above a whisper, "I love you."
You reached out, pulling her into a hug. Tears prickled in the corner of your eyes, but you blinked them away, a huge smile stealing itself on your lips. Your heart was so full of love it hurt, because you had no idea what to do with so much happiness.
"I love you too, Yena," you whispered. "And I'm so grateful that we're all together. We may not have started out the way others would have, but this... this is our family now."
You felt her arms tentatively wrap around you, her body slightly stiff at first, but she didn’t pull away.
Yena stayed in your embrace for a moment longer, her body relaxing into yours as you stood into your living room. You pulled back, smiling at the way she held onto you.
You caught Hongjoong standing nearby, watching the two of you with a fond smile.
“I��m so happy right now,” you whispered, your heart full of emotion as you looked around at the children. “This feels perfect.”
Hongjoong took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It is," he agreed quietly.
"Come on, let's get a family photo!" Minseo called from the couch, her phone already in hand. Hongjoong, still holding the mug from Hanbin, stood beside you, his arms sliding around your waist. Hanbin jumped up, his little hands tugging at Yena’s sleeve as he excitedly pulled her to the center, his energy contagious. The kids huddled close, everyone laughing and joking as they found their places for the picture.
Minseo stepped forward, positioning herself just behind Hanbin, her phone held high to capture the moment. Hongjoong's arms were firmly around your waist as he stood beside you, his eyes never leaving you, and your heart fluttered at his eyes so full of love
Minseo grinned from behind her phone, adjusting the camera. “Okay, okay, everyone! Say cheese!”
Before anyone could respond, Hongjoong leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. The photo snapped just at that moment, and the last thing you heard was Hanbin’s “Ugh, not again!” as you smiled at the man you thought you’d never end up with, feeling a sense of peace settle over you – like you’d finally found what you didn’t even know you were looking for in the arms of someone who had always been a part of your life, yet somehow, never felt right until now.
#cromernet#pirateeznet#mirohsaurorasociety#ateez scenarios#atiny#ateez fanfiction#ateez#ateez au#ateez angst#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez fluff#ateez hongjoong#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#kim hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong#kim hongjoong smut#kim hongjoong
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₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊ IN MY HEAD
(❄️) — daniela avanzini x fem!reader
synopsis. ⸝⸝⸝ you didn’t realize how detrimental the saying ‘with fame comes great responsibility’ until you realized on christmas eve that your girlfriend stopped considering you a priority.
pairing. ⸝⸝⸝ daniela avancini x gf!reader
genre. ⸝⸝⸝ angst, fluff if you squint, actually nvm this is just very angsty
warnings. ⸝⸝⸝ established relationship, daniela kinda doesn’t care about reader’s feelings, reader just misses her girlfriend sm she feels like she’s lost her but she doesn’t wanna give up
word count ⸝⸝⸝ 1.3k
a/n: i wanted to write smth for christmas 😞😞
it was the most wonderful time of the year.
for everyone else, at least. you had the ‘wonderful opportunity’ of working at your parent’s business while they traveled out of the country. they were truly in love, those two.
obviously, you agreed to watch the store. they wouldn’t be open on christmas day but they needed someone to monitor for the few hours they would be open on christmas eve.
so here you were, playing with the snow globes on the shelves of the retail business.
you hadn’t decorated for christmas yet. you were saving it so that you could do it with daniela — you had all sorts of ornaments and cute decorations that you couldn’t wait to show her.
but whether you admit it or not, the lack of decor really got to your mind. christmas was your favorite holiday, and your neighbors claimed that they could never tell if you were home or not — or they would have invited you to have christmas dinner with them earlier.
you didn’t want to decorate anyway, is what you would tell daniela when she told you that she didn’t have time.
but on the bright side, she had promised that she would come home to celebrate the holiday with you. it would be your second christmas together, but you had a strong feeling that nothing could ever top the first.
you two had visited her hometown and you had the opportunity to meet the two people that had shaped your girlfriend into who she is now.
they accepted your relationship with open arms, treating you as if you were their own. they were the exact opposite of your own parents.
this was around the time dream academy had finished airing, && the world already knew katseye’s lineup — and the love of your life had achieved her biggest dreams yet.
while you two made gingerbread cookies, daniela told you all about her time at dream academy. the way her eyes lit up as she decorated the cookies, the carefree tone in her voice and the way her contagious smile only made you feel like you were on cloud nine.
you were completely & utterly in love with her.
you had the honor of seeing her dance during high school and as you two cuddled up to each other with hot chocolate, you had the privilege of witnessing it through dream academy. her commentary only made the moment ten times better.
you had felt so much love & admiration for the girl — she was born to be a star.
she was your star. the way she held you close in her arms told you everything that you had needed to hear. no matter what she got you for christmas, the gift of her company was all you asked santa for.
smiling as you recalled the memories of simpler times, here you were, completely drained as you closed up your parent’s business on christmas eve. you checked your phone, seeing multiple invitations from your close relatives, as well as some distant ones, but the one contact you yearned for the most never appeared.
you clicked on the messages, only to be met with the main reasoning behind your loss of energy & lack of motivation.
you tried your hardest to understand. to put yourself in daniela’s shoes.
katseye’s popularity was increasing more and more every moment. their mama performance was phenomenal — and you made sure to text your girlfriend so she knew how proud & awestruck you were. the energy didn’t seem to be reciprocated once she texted you the next morning.
you were tired last night too, is what you would tell daniela when she said that she hadn’t seen your reply.
even if you saw that she was active on instagram.
you would wait. no, you are waiting for her, heartbeat matching the swift tapping of your thumbs as if it was a routine.
hey, dani <3 i’m otw home rn, i can’t wait to see u!!!
your expression betrayed the excitement of the message completely as you stepped into the uber, frowning at the sight of the christmas decorations.
you felt like the grinch. everyone was in the christmas spirit, and it just couldn’t seem to find you.
you were surprised that he even came on christmas eve, so you sucked it up and fixed your face. until le sserafim’s holiday remix of ‘perfect night’ had begun to play through the car’s stereo speakers.
you didn’t hate the song at all. but the correlation to katseye left a sour taste in your mouth, burning your heart as if lemon juice had been poured onto the scars of it.
your uber driver must have been embarrassed because he skipped the song and played snowman by sia instead. you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.
finally, after what felt like ages, the not-so-soothing car ride had finally come to an end. after the driver kindly wished you a merry christmas & happy new year, you struggled to get your key into the doorknob correctly. this little action only fueled your growing frustration.
after carelessly tossing your bag onto the couch, you wandered into the kitchen. when dani wasn’t around to soothe your distress with cuddles and kisses, you baked to your favorite songs & danced your troubles away.
without thinking, you put your playlist on shuffle and fixated all of your attention making your cookie dough.
with some properly needed karaoke and choreography to your favorite song, you formed the cookies on the baking pan with a smile. perhaps you could salvage this christmas after all. you tasted the batter to see if it was right.
your vision had begun to blur as katseye’s most recent song, touch, played through your bluetooth speaker.
you were singing along happily. why wouldn’t you be? this is your girlfriend’s song, is what you told yourself when you didn’t want to face the reality of why your heart was breaking.
you tasted something salty on your lips, and it wasn’t the cookie dough. you were crying — desperately wiping at your face so no tears would fall into the baking mixture. the song had felt so personal now.
you would hate for daniela to eat salty cookies, is what you told yourself as you clinged onto last year’s memories.
you hurriedly skipped the song — similar to the uber driver.
you were two different souls. though you weren’t feeling the christmas spirit like he was, you were two strangers experiencing the same feeling of embarrassment.
just like how you and daniela were now two strangers experiencing the same feeling of falling out of love.
she was just better at hiding it than you were.
the next song that played was needy by ariana grande. had spotify been playing with you now?
you reached out for your phone again, fingers trembling as you saw a notification from the person you were currently falling apart over.
my love 💖
hii y/n
my love 💖
i actually won’t be able to make it until after new years ): i’m really really sorry
my love 💖
i love u so much, baby. call me tomorrow
my love 💖
ur gift is in my bottom drawer
your heart broke into a million pieces. you didn’t even want to bake the cookies anymore. you didn’t even want to celebrate christmas. you didn’t even want to open her christmas present. it wasn’t what you wanted.
you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you and daniela were recording yourselves making snowmen in her parent’s front yard.
you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when daniela spent the first 12 days of december proving herself to you.
you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you were safe in daniela’s arms after telling her how your parent’s didn’t even bother to celebrate christmas with you.
still, you responded as you usually do. it’s okay, i understand, is what you would say when you never truly did.
you felt like you weren’t asking for much. you were just a person who missed her person.
you had missed her so much that you hadn’t even realized you were full on sobbing now. everything had hit you at once. frustration, loneliness, anger, desperation, sadness, and guilt. you felt guilty for trapping her in this relationship with you. sadness because you had the worst day ever. desperation because you hadn’t seen your girlfriend in months. anger because you felt like she had abandoned you. loneliness because you only saw the love of your life through a screen. frustration because you just couldn’t figure it out. were you not enough for daniela?
yet another part of you felt like you were too good to her.
but there was always new year’s, right?
and that was the cycle of you and daniela’s relationship.
taglist — @saysirhc
#₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊ in my head — d.a#daniela avanzini#daniela katseye#katseye#daniela x reader#angst#one shot#i can fix her#christmas#christmas one shot#kpop imagines#katseye imagines#katseye x reader#kpop gg#kpop gg x reader#divider © to fairytopea#divider © to gigittamic
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DATING APPLEJACK !
request || equestria girls!apple jack x fem!reader
author's note: everyone say thank you to mars for encouraging my delusions & to the person who requested this. also ive been picturing her the way @/cloiiiiii on tiktok draws her so like yeah
ⓘ word count : 0.8k || applejack masterlist
probably didn't realize she liked you until someone (rarity) told her
"what? no way, i don't like-" and then the "HOLY SHIT I DO LIKE HER!"
she was the last to know
rainbow and rarity have to give her advice on asking you out (rarity's is serious and helpful, dash's is just "ask her out dumbass")
probably asked you out with flowers.
"so uh– i was wondering' if you'd, uh, y'know, wanna go out with me sometime? it's fine if not– y'know what, nevermind its stupi–"
she's so nervous!!!
anyways onto the actual dating hcs
she was the one to say i love you first
you guys were probably taking a walk or something and you were talking and she'll like smile at you really lovingly and go "i love you, y'know"
calls you really cheesy nicknames — sugar, sugar cube, pretty girl, my girl, princess, angel, darlin', missy, sweetheart, sweet pea, honey, etc etc
would take you on the cutest dates!!!
sunsets, picnics, apple picking (duh), late night drives
if u like shopping then she's def the kind of girl who'll hold all your bags
she'll also walk you to all your classes / walk you home
also!!! kind of gf who won't leave u alone in public. like if you guys go out she WILL stay with you at all times cause yk 😕
she's such a sweetheart
will open doors for you and get offended if you try to do ANYTHING yourself
SHE WAS RAISED RIGHT 🗣
can and will give you her clothes to wear. PLEAAASE wear her flannels/shirts around her she will lose her mind
"well, darlin', don't you look nice?" whenever u get dressed up
she either gets flustered really easily or she doesnt
pls imagine her in like. a white tank and jeans and cowboy boots
1 million dead 4923 injured
her voice in the morning >>>>>
it has a little rasp and her accent is like ten times thicker and just ugh
she's jacked btw. apple jacked.
she grew up up a farm like what'd u expect
anyways imagine needing to get smth off a shelf or something and she just comes up behind you and reaches to grab the thing and her arms ohmygod
love languages are definitely acts of service & quality time
CONSTANTLY doing little things for you
holding open the door, getting you flowers every week, randomly cleaning your room when she's at your house, filling up ur drink, ordering for you, etc
such a "my girl" kind of gf
"attagirl" "my girl" "pretty girl" "sweet girl"
randomly gives u compliments
also!! i don't see her as the kind of gf who comments under ur insta posts but she's def the kind who'll post them on her story
she's not a very social media person in general, but any post she does make is probably of you
would def write you a sappy letter on your anniversary/valentines/christmas/new years/your birthday
basically any chance she gets she'll write u a long, sappy letter telling you how much she appreciates you and loves you and yap yap yap
i don't see her as a person who wears much jewelry, but i can definitely see her having a locket with your picture in it, or some kind of matching bracelet
randomly starts yapping about you to the girls
"she's so sweet and i love her an–" "SHUT UP WE GET IT." "dang okay"
they're your biggest fans!!!
pinkie probably made a fan account on insta thats just her posting cute pictures of you guys
rarity helps applejack plan dates and shit
dash playfully flirts with you any chance she gets because she finds it hilarious when aj glares at her
speaking of that, i can't see her being someone who gets jealous super super easily?
like, i can definitely see her sidling up beside you, putting an arm around your waist, and glaring at the person who's flirting with you
"who's this, darlin'?"
she has an rbf so if you're really sunshine-y you guys look ridiculous tg
scary guard dog gf!!!!
such an early riser but if you ask her to stay in bed with you she'll be so dramatic about it (she'll sigh and be like "alright, alright, but just this once" <- its happened multiple times)
apple bloom adores you!!! she'll randomly barge into aj's room to talk to you (aj thinks its cute how much she likes you but she does NOT appreciate her sister's interruption)
100% your biggest supporter
if you do theatre or choir or orchestra, she'll show up to EVERY. SINGLE. PERFORMANCE. you will ever have
if you do sports, trust she'll be at all your games yelling her head off and holding a big ass sign
she's really good at cooking so she'll learn how to make your favorite dishes!!! this also means you guys have cute little dinners at home a lot <3
© juneberrie 2024 – reblogs are appreciated!!!
#mlp x reader#my little pony x reader#equestria girls x reader#mlp eg#applejack x reader#apple jack x reader#mlp applejack#liz’s writing ♡
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Eddie Munson x reader, maybe they're best friends and have feelings for each other but they don't confess their feelings. Christmas is near, so reader wants to take to opportunity and make a move, maybe she wears cute but sexy clothes and Eddie's in awe, and when they want to exchange presents reader's like I'm your present or smth like that (basically idiots in love, fluff to smut? Please!!)
Merry Christmas season! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3 🎄
His gift
Y/N kept her feelings for Eddie hidden for years. It seemed like there was never a moment where she could tell if Eddie felt the same. She was scared to lose him and wanted the reassurance that he felt the same. But he was impossible to read. He only got excited about music and his campaign. Those were the only two things she could tell he loved.
The Christmas season was bittersweet. She loved the lights, the activities, the music, and the traditions. But she couldn't help but hate how romantic it was. She imagined Eddie and her in every couple that she walked across. She rolled her eyes at the couples skating together and cuddled close to the fire. She wanted that and she wanted it with Eddie.
Eddie was used to girls not looking in his direction and he was used to liking girls way out of his league. When he realized he was in love with his best friend, he knew it would never work. She was too good for him and she would never settle down with a lowlife. She wanted the big house and all the kids. He'd never be that guy who can give that. So he figured he'd never try, that way he'd never get hurt.
Y/N was too scared to admit how she felt until she was seconds away from losing him.
Last night, his band performed in some tiny towns a few miles out. As always, she joined the band to support. But she also got a front row to her nightmares. A tall blonde flirting her way into Eddie's mouth. She felt so much relief when Eddie pushed her aside, but what if he did kiss her? Would he have fallen in love with her? Y/N barely dodged the bullet.
Eddie was already coming over to exchange Christmas gifts, and she decided tonight was the night. She wasn't coming close to losing him again without a fight.
She knew she was testing the waters. She thought of sitting him down and telling him how she felt, but Eddie wasn't good with feelings. He always loved to perform his thoughts and feelings, she was going to do the same. She was going to show her feelings for him in a way he'd understand.
And a way he couldn't ignore.
~~~
She paced in her empty house while she waited for him to arrive. She had the house to herself for the weekend and Eddie offered to stay. She just hoped she wouldn't run him out the door.
He arrived with gifts in one hand and his sleepover bag in the other. A bright smile on his face and a silly Santa hat.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" he cheered, Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile at the cheeriness he brought. How could she not fall in love with him?
He sat on her couch, the hat on his head as he held the gift in his lap. He eyed the shortness of her robe as she walked over. He was happy her gift was in his lap and hiding his obvious hardness.
He gulped as she grabbed the gift off his lap, a tiny smirk on her face as she saw the tent in his flannel pajama pants.
"Mr. Claus, I have a fear I'm on the naughty list." She said, planting herself slowly on his lap. She flicked the tiny puff ball at the end of his hat. The awe on Eddie's face caused her to giggle. But then she quickly tried to recover. But Eddie couldn't stop the smile that stretched on his lips.
"And why's that?" He asked, playing along as he slowly rubbed her thighs. His heart was racing and his palms were sweaty. He almost felt like he was having a wet dream and would wake up with a wet spot in his boxers.
But she didn't answer, she looked deep into his eyes as she undid her robe. The material fell off her shoulders and landed softly on the floor. Her hands yanked off his hat.
"Jesus Christ," Eddie said in awe, his voice hidden in the back of his throat. He tried to swallow his spit to get rid of the dryness in his throat. He looked into her eyes before trailing down. His eyes took in her breasts which popped out perfectly in the red bra she wore. Small white fluff material trailed over the top, matching how a Santa suit would look. Underneath the bra, slightly above her stomach was a bow that wrapped all around her. Eddie wanted to yank on it with his teeth and watch her unwrap. Her panties matched the bra.
"Nope, definitely the good list in Mr. Claus book," Eddie said, his heart skipped a few beats as she laughed.
"Shh! You're ruining my material!" She teased, she worried that the whole Christmas gimmick would be mocked. But she couldn't help but love that he was having fun with it. That it wasn't all serious, and they could laugh and smile in the middle of it all.
"Sorry!" Eddie apologized, his hands moving up to her hips. Slowly moving her body against his. He sighed in relief as her body rubbed against his cock inside his pajamas.
"What's the next line?" He choked out, he continued to move her hips, her body following along as she moved on his lap.
"How can I get myself on the good list?" She pouted out her lip and Eddie swore he was that close to creaming his pants.
"I've got many ideas," Eddie whined, his head thrown back as she moved her hips faster. Her lips attach to his neck. Her soft lips marked his neck as she trailed up to his jaw.
As she moved closer to his lips, he moved his head back to its original position. Both stared at each other as her hips froze. She flicked her eyes down to his lips. Her plan was working, but she was terrified to seal the deal. His lips were right there.
But Eddie didn't give her the choice. His hand grabbed the back of her head and brought her lips to his. She moaned the second she felt his lips against hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he wrapped his free arm around her waist. His lips were still attached to hers as he turned them around. Her back was against the couch as he settled on top of her.
He moved his hand that was on her head to hold himself up, making sure not to crush her. Not that she'd notice, she was locked in on his lips and how amazing they felt.
Once they needed air, they pulled away. Eddie panted above her, he felt electricity in his fingertips and his whole body buzzed.
"I've always wanted to do that." Eddie said, a smile on his face.
Y/N tried to say something but her brain melted. She was in awe of the way he looked so handsome on top of her. His lips were red and used. Because of her.
"Mhhm too." She said, her eyes were heavy with lust as she watched him. Eddie backed up a bit, his torso coming into view as he took off his shirt. Y/N felt herself clench her thighs, embarrassment traveling through her body when she realized his knee was between them. A huge smirk on his face as he felt her thighs squeeze his knee.
"May I?" He asked, his fingertips touched the top of her panties. His touch left goosebumps on her skin.
"Please." She whined, her head spinning as he slowly trailed her panties down her legs, throwing them to the floor. He quickly yanked off his pants, he didn't bother to take off his boxers, just taking his cock out.
"Condom?" He panted, his hand slowly pumped himself and Y/N couldn't help but whine at the sight. But she planned for this so she reached behind her, yanking the condom out of the couch cushions. Eddie laughed as she proudly handed it over.
"Planned it all, huh?" He teased, he placed the condom on, hissing as his cock twitched.
"Your present after all. I needed all the materials." She shrugged.
Eddie looked down at her thoughtfully as he pushed her thighs apart.
"Ready?" He asked, his tip slowly rubbing against her clit. He watched as her body twitched and her breathing picked up.
"Since like freshmen year." She admitted no time to be embarrassed to admit it. She wanted him and she got him.
But Eddie didn't judge, his dirty mind thought of her this way at the grade of seventh.
He leaned down and placed his lips on hers. He kissed her softly as he slowly pushed himself inside of her. Her hands gripped his biceps as he pushed himself further in. Her body clenched around him, he continued to kiss her lips. One hand on his cock to help push in and the other rubbed her hip. His thumb rubbed her skin softly. He felt her body relax, giving him the chance to push himself in.
She whined, her lips stopped moving as her body melted into the couch. He moved his lips away but kept his face close to hers. He watched every movement on her face as he thrust inside of her.
The way her eyes scrunched. The way her teeth bit down on her bottom lip. Her nails scratched his bicep as he sped up. She was a sight to see and he prayed no one saw her this way.
"Don't wanna kill the moment," Eddie said through harsh breaths, "but I'm so fucking close already." She felt amazing, looked amazing, smelled amazing and his body couldn't handle it long.
"Clit." She whined, she grabbed his hand, and moved it down to her cunt. Eddie took the hint, rubbing her clit in fast circles as he continued to thrust into her. Her breathing picked up and her moans got louder.
"Gonna!" Eddie warned, and seconds later his cum filled the condom. Y/N whined loudly as she felt the warmness of his cum inside of her. He tried to thrust throughout his orgasm, trying his best to keep thrusting for her pleasure but the sensitivity made him shiver.
"Please cum for me, gorgeous." He pleaded, his fingers still working on her clit as he slipped himself out of her. She whined at the loss of his cock but he was quick to replace it with his fingers.
His fingers worked inside of her, and his thumb rubbed her clit perfectly. He moved his head up to kiss her softly. His lips against hers as he whispered, "I love you"
She wasn't sure if it was the words alone, or the mix of it all together, but in seconds she felt her body snap, and a wonderful feeling washed over her body. Her body shook and her head flung back, Eddie's lips now on her neck.
"That's it, good fucking girl." He praised, his voice deep and low. She gasped as he worked her through her orgasm. It was the best thing she ever felt.
Once she softly smacked his hand, he pulled away. His eyes took in her cunt, the way it was soaked and pulsing.
He removed the condom, tying the top as he chucked it in the trash nearby. A mental note to throw out before her dad found it and murdered him.
He moved his eyes back to her, her eyes closed as tried to move. Eddie softly lay next to her, his arms wrapped around her.
"The best gift ever," Eddie said, a soft kiss on her shoulder as she giggled.
"I love you too." She said against his naked chest.
Y/N would like to see a girl try to hit on him now.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson request#eddie munson angst#eddie munson angst x reader#eddie munson fluff x reader#eddie munson smut x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson smut x female reader#eddie munson Christmas fic#eddie munson fluff x female reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst to fluff#Eddie munson fluffy smut#ashwhowrites#ashwhowrites Christmas
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Holidays With Yoongi Headcanons
Yoongi x Reader
Summary: What spending the Christmas season with Yoongi would be like.
Warnings: swearing, not proofread
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this!
Masterlist
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Holidays with Yoongi would be soo cozy, I feel like he would lowkey go all out to embrace the season and try to share as many experiences with you as possible, even a few of the more cliche tropes and traditions.
If you live somewhere with snow, I think he’d want to do the whole “walk in the first snow of the season for good luck”, partly because it’s romantic, and partly bc it’s a great excuse for cuddles to warm each other up afterwards.
Picking out a tree together tho is a surprisingly serious mission for him. He’s checking the height, the fullness from each side, shaking the limbs to see how many needles fall, etc.
“Doesn’t it look a little lopsided tho?” “Who cares, I can’t feel my toes, Min!”
(This would only happen for your first year together tho, unless you’re really set on ‘real’ trees. The next year he’d decide it would be better/easier to just invest in a pre-lit, artificial tree)
Decorating together would be so fun tho, especially if you have some older ornaments from over the years or from your family, so you can share stories about holidays from when you were younger.
“Raccoons with soup-can phones? How is that Christmas-y?” “Idk, but they were one of my dad’s favorites!”
I don’t know that he would necessarily wear matching sweaters or anything like that, unless you bring it up first(and then he’d end up kinda loving it, but won’t admit it), but I think he’d get a little soft about having something like stockings or mugs with your names on them.
Catching him under the mistletoe every single chance you get, because you’ll be damned if you pass up any opportunity to kiss him, and turning him into a blushy mess is way too much fun!
Man would be lowkey stressed about what kind of gift to get you, even tho you’d probably be happy with a pack of gum if it came from him. He worries about being too basic or cliche with something like jewelry(even tho he already bought you smth months ago and has been trying to figure out to give it to you)
He would likely get something that seems super random to anyone else, but has some sort of meaning for the two of you, like a pair of sneakers and some waterproofing spray, cause you spilled coffee on your shoes on your first date, or dvds of all your favorite movies from when you were a kid.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
Christmas mornings would be the softest tho, both of you still sleepy and not wanting to leave the bed, snuggled down in the blankets, and him just sitting a little velvet box on your lap that has a special necklace(or maybe a ring) inside.
Almost falling asleep together before midnight on new years. I imagine him waking up with like two minutes to spare, and going to wake you quickly until he sees the way you’re sleeping on his shoulder/chest and just melting and realizing how happy/content he is. He ends up waking you gently and gives you the softest, sleepy kiss. “Happy new year, Babe.”
#yoongi scenarios#yoongi headcanons#yoongi reaction#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x reader#yoongi fluff#bts headcanons#bts reaction#bts reactions#bts scenarios#bts x y/n#bts x reader#bts requests#bts fluff#7ndipity
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Hey hey!!
You can ignore this if you aren't comfortable but I was wondering if you have any ideas for how different eras Leon would react or handle drunk gf? Smth like been out with the girlies or asking him for a ride home? Go crazy!
Low key started thinking about it after a minor drunken injury weeks ago (all good!)
Hi Anon!
I'm sorry this late, I hope you are okay lmao! We have all been there at some point 👀...I've never fallen down some stairs or whatever
Hope you enjoy!!
Warnings: Fluff, Drunk!Reader,
Fem!Reader
RE2:
You went to a house party, Leon didn't feel like going though so he stayed behind
He trusted you not to do anything stupid and find your own way back.
That was until he got a call from you that you had been left by your friends and needed him to come and pick you up
He left immediately, pulling up to the location in his jeep with a smile at your state
Had to catch you as he helped you into the car as you tripped on the pavement
The entire ride you are chatting to him about all the gossip. He doesn't care who kissed who that night. Your smile and adorable giggles made his night
Caved when you asked for fast food - with the idea it will sober you up a little bit at least.
RE4R:
I feel like he would like a quieter life but when he meets you and you drag him around everywhere.
He doesn't complain he just goes with the flow, he'll have a few drinks etc to make the time more bearable but never as much as you.
It's cute though, how you'll go out onto the dance floor with a bunch of your friends all stumbling about together
Then you will stumble back over to him, placing a kiss that tasted like whatever you were drinking. A hug that was more you leaning on him than an actual hug
He never prompted you to come back, he was content observing you from the bar, his ass going numb from the bar stool.
When it is time to go home, he's dragging you to a cab. Your leaning on him chattering about whatever was on your mind
Thoughts going by so fast he can barely keep up with you. Changing topics like every 5 seconds
Infinite Darkness:
Encourages you to drink more, he's the type that's willing to be the sober one if he needs to be or at least only limiting himself to a few drinks to make sure you get back safely
He has to drag you out the bar towards the end of the night, your goodbye with the girls is dragging on far too long
The walk back is painful, your stumbling everywhere and so slow to the point he just beds his back and braces his knees
You're hard to carry on his back only because you find it so funny but eventually you pass out
When you do you are like dead weight but don't worry he can take it, he's fought things that are heavier than you
Damnation:
He's drunk with you lets be honest, you are both as bad as each other
Prefers to stay at home and drink so you will too
If you host a girls night he'll happily leave the room and sit in your bedroom so you have the space
The girls don't mind him being there they understand you barely see each other so they are fine with him joining in
When he does, he'll suggest things like board games or card games
For Christmas he'll get you loads of drinking games to play either together or with your friends
Finds it funny when you get the couple drinking games
RE6:
You woke him up from sleeping on the sofa when you called him to pick you up
He's fighting you for an answer as to where you are.
Eventually he just drives to the usual bars not hanging up of course
Finds you just aimlessly wandering down the streets. Pulls over and has to gently guide you into the car
Your moaning about how you have your boyfriend on the phone and he's coming to get you until you realize it's him
He'll give you his jacket in the car so you stay warm, after all the outfit your wearing wouldn't have kept you warm
Loves the gossip you collect and will let you ramble about. There's just something distracting about who kissed who compared to his usual thoughts or conversations with his friends
Vendetta:
The guy would be drunk with you, out and about with your friends whatever. He's with you
And considering he's drank a lot in the film before he starts doing anything I would say he's the type of drunk that you can't actually tell he is until you see the drink
So he's more helpful than you in going home
He's dragging you down the street, pulling you into his side so you stay close
If you fall over he's just sighing and laughing at you
It's almost like two toddlers walking down a street together, they don't know where they are going or how to get there but they do eventually
If you ask for his jacket he'll give it to you but he won't just do it on his own will. He's not really thinking straight
Death Island:
He's smart enough to turn on your phone location before you go out so when you do call him, he's there like instantly
He will sit you down on the bathroom counter and force you to tell him what your skin care routine is as he knows you'll be upset you didn't do it
Will eventually get you to write a step by step process and pin it to his bathroom mirror so he knows in advance
Probably just throws on one of his t shirts instead of finding your own clothes
Listens to your drunken talks until eventually you fall asleep cuddles into him
#~mads rambles#leon kennedy#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon scott kennedy#resident evil#resident evil fanfiction#leon kennedy x you#~mads~mail💌#leonkennedy#leon resident evil#leon s kennedy#resident evil leon#leon kennedy imagine
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late christmas headcannons 🎄🕺🏽⭐️🎅🏼🍻
⤷ dude i am so back. i’m sorry i took like a year off, don’t question it - you wouldn’t even believe. i was blown away by a hurricane and swept to a big green castle. never again.
∷ no warnings | 12 headcannons | masterlist
i’ll start a tag list up again hopefully soon!
⦿ hot take that simon is shit hot at wrapping presents 💀 you’ve walked in and he’s been there in silence with the big light on like a monster, screech of cello tape n big hands working magic on a spherical gift what are we talking about
⦿ refuses to buy a tree. will find one and cut it down, chuck it in the back of a jeep or smth bc if not you’re “throwing money away.”
⦿ took about three years of you being together before he’d embraced christmas. and in saying embraced, that’s because you accidentally had a child together and you’d threatened his death if he hadn’t turned up for christmas w ur baby. “she doesn’t even know what’s going on.” neither will you when you’re knocked OUT 💜
⦿ classic doesn’t know what the kids have until they’ve opened the presents, “what’s that— oh mmryeah. yeah.” quick glance to you to make sure you’re not ticked off at his oblivion.
⦿ honestly hates christmas but lets it slide as knows you’d sort him straight if he gave hint of annoyance about it all around the kids. although you’d started playing christmas music in october and that caused a lovely spat - one you ignored after it hit november. maybe you’re the wrong-un
⦿ forgets santa is supposed to be a thing so writes from Dad on pretty much all gifts you had appointed for him to be santa for SMHGHHHJFHDH
⦿ is partial to christmas cooking ngl… chefs up whenever your house is to host though don’t disturb him - the kitchen is serenity. quietness and STILL - however soap exists, fucking around and moving things until ultimately causing simon to pour himself his first drink of the night. my shayla he was doing so well 😔
⦿ however many drinks later he’s accepting rounds of “can you lift this” in competition with soap. two grown men lifting random shit and your children simultaneously. all three of your girls hanging off him while he lifts a fuck off weight from your room. one you’d INSISTED price hadn’t bought him a couple of years back.
⦿ drunk simon is best simon imo. it’s so incredibly rare that it happens but omds late late late in the night he finally loosens up and starts talking more and eating more and caring less and fun dad appears and WHATEVER ugh
⦿ no fail he gets socks, thermal undershirts and a new patch for his deployment bag every year.
⦿ his eyes are 90% on you the whole time. for few reasons, one being a silent plead of retirement to bed and another of pure anxiety 💀 bro was used to madness around christmas when he grew up, think the bear’s fishes episode.
⦿ all and all the only reason he tolerates christmas is because he has kids and it’s your favourite celebration. otherwise it would be curtains.
festivities 😛
#simon ghost riley#cod mwii#cod mw2#cod mw fanfiction#simon riley#simon ghost riley headcanons#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwiii#cod mw3
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❄️Crows Secret Santa headcannons! ❄️
I don’t know if they even have Christmas in the grishaverse and also I forgot Matthias was dead, but enjoy!
❆ Nina is the one who organizes it, cause she thinks it would be fun for all of the crows to get together and do something
❆ Kaz thinks it’s dumb but inej gets him to go along with it cause Nina is super excited and she doesn’t want to disappoint her
❆ Also I feel like Kaz would try to get out of it but Nina would be like “NO, you need to do it, we have to have an even amount of people or else it won’t work! Do you want us to have to get kuwei to do it with us? He’ll try to give Jesper a kiss as his present!” Or smth like that (fun fact, secret Santa does work with an odd amount of people, me and my friends learnt the hard way :/)
❆ Kaz gets Matthias and tries to bribe Nina to switch with him (Nina has inej) Nina’s like bitch no, and Kaz buys Matthias like. An expensive sweater or something.
❆ Matthias has no idea what secret Santa is and Nina has to explain it to him and stop him from just giving his person (Jesper) money
❆ Nina eventually just gives up and buys the gift cause Matthias doesn’t rly know what Jesper likes, but he writes Jesper a 4 page long heartfelt card about how much he values their friendship
❆ Jesper forgets to get the gift until last minute but still buys his person (wylan) a rly thoughtful gift that they love
❆ But since he literally IS DATING his person, he almost accidentally exposes himself like 5000 times and by the time they do the exchange Wylans like, whoah :/ I didn’t know it was you at all :/
❆ Wylan is really stressed about it cause he has Kaz so he’s like, wtf do I get him? He literally doesn’t like anything! But he ends up making Kaz some homemade explosives or smth
❆ When they finally gather to do the exchange it’s going fine until Nina pulls out the matching pajamas and everyone is like ew, no
❆ They end up compromising and just wearing the pants
❆ When the actual exchange starts, it goes well
❆ Jesper cries when he reads Matthias’ letter, and then Matthias cries too, and everyone starts getting very emotional
❆ Wylan is super scared Kaz won’t like his gift but Kaz likes it
❆ Matthias likes his sweater a lot and Nina is like, see Kaz, I told you being his person was a good idea!
❆ Nina gives inej a super expensive knife named Nina and Kaz is like, I could’ve given her a better gift if I was her person >:( and then they start fighting
❆ And then somehow the explosives that wylan gave Kaz start going off and they all freak out and someone calls the stadwatch but because they’re all criminals, they end up having to hide from them since they think they intentionally commited arson
❆ And that’s the first and last secret Santa the crows ever have
#This is my first time ever writing headcannons and they’re rly bad#I think I’m gonna write a fic based off of this tho#Guys my writing is better than my hcs trust#If anyone has any feedback pls give me fr tho cause this was lowkey fun#Also ik I didn’t say who all of them have I’m missing one but I couldn’t figure out who it was :/#six of crows#jesper fahey#nina zenik#wylan van eck#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#matthias helvar#soc
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