#divider © to gigittamic

[lascvitae]

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ IN MY HEAD

(❄️) — daniela avanzini x fem!reader

synopsis. ‎⸝⸝⸝ you didn’t realize how detrimental the saying ‘with fame comes great responsibility’ until you realized on christmas eve that your girlfriend stopped considering you a priority.

pairing. ‎⸝⸝⸝ daniela avancini x gf!reader

genre. ‎⸝⸝⸝ angst, fluff if you squint, actually nvm this is just very angsty

warnings. ‎⸝⸝⸝ established relationship, daniela kinda doesn’t care about reader’s feelings, reader just misses her girlfriend sm she feels like she’s lost her but she doesn’t wanna give up

word count ‎⸝⸝⸝ 1.3k

a/n: i wanted to write smth for christmas 😞😞

it was the most wonderful time of the year.

for everyone else, at least. you had the ‘wonderful opportunity’ of working at your parent’s business while they traveled out of the country. they were truly in love, those two.

obviously, you agreed to watch the store. they wouldn’t be open on christmas day but they needed someone to monitor for the few hours they would be open on christmas eve.

so here you were, playing with the snow globes on the shelves of the retail business.

you hadn’t decorated for christmas yet. you were saving it so that you could do it with daniela — you had all sorts of ornaments and cute decorations that you couldn’t wait to show her.

but whether you admit it or not, the lack of decor really got to your mind. christmas was your favorite holiday, and your neighbors claimed that they could never tell if you were home or not — or they would have invited you to have christmas dinner with them earlier.

you didn’t want to decorate anyway, is what you would tell daniela when she told you that she didn’t have time.

but on the bright side, she had promised that she would come home to celebrate the holiday with you. it would be your second christmas together, but you had a strong feeling that nothing could ever top the first.

you two had visited her hometown and you had the opportunity to meet the two people that had shaped your girlfriend into who she is now.

they accepted your relationship with open arms, treating you as if you were their own. they were the exact opposite of your own parents.

this was around the time dream academy had finished airing, && the world already knew katseye’s lineup — and the love of your life had achieved her biggest dreams yet.

while you two made gingerbread cookies, daniela told you all about her time at dream academy. the way her eyes lit up as she decorated the cookies, the carefree tone in her voice and the way her contagious smile only made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

you were completely & utterly in love with her.

you had the honor of seeing her dance during high school and as you two cuddled up to each other with hot chocolate, you had the privilege of witnessing it through dream academy. her commentary only made the moment ten times better.

you had felt so much love & admiration for the girl — she was born to be a star.

she was your star. the way she held you close in her arms told you everything that you had needed to hear. no matter what she got you for christmas, the gift of her company was all you asked santa for.

smiling as you recalled the memories of simpler times, here you were, completely drained as you closed up your parent’s business on christmas eve. you checked your phone, seeing multiple invitations from your close relatives, as well as some distant ones, but the one contact you yearned for the most never appeared.

you clicked on the messages, only to be met with the main reasoning behind your loss of energy & lack of motivation.

you tried your hardest to understand. to put yourself in daniela’s shoes.

katseye’s popularity was increasing more and more every moment. their mama performance was phenomenal — and you made sure to text your girlfriend so she knew how proud & awestruck you were. the energy didn’t seem to be reciprocated once she texted you the next morning.

you were tired last night too, is what you would tell daniela when she said that she hadn’t seen your reply.

even if you saw that she was active on instagram.

you would wait. no, you are waiting for her, heartbeat matching the swift tapping of your thumbs as if it was a routine.

hey, dani <3 i’m otw home rn, i can’t wait to see u!!!

your expression betrayed the excitement of the message completely as you stepped into the uber, frowning at the sight of the christmas decorations.

you felt like the grinch. everyone was in the christmas spirit, and it just couldn’t seem to find you.

you were surprised that he even came on christmas eve, so you sucked it up and fixed your face. until le sserafim’s holiday remix of ‘perfect night’ had begun to play through the car’s stereo speakers.

you didn’t hate the song at all. but the correlation to katseye left a sour taste in your mouth, burning your heart as if lemon juice had been poured onto the scars of it.

your uber driver must have been embarrassed because he skipped the song and played snowman by sia instead. you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.

finally, after what felt like ages, the not-so-soothing car ride had finally come to an end. after the driver kindly wished you a merry christmas & happy new year, you struggled to get your key into the doorknob correctly. this little action only fueled your growing frustration.

after carelessly tossing your bag onto the couch, you wandered into the kitchen. when dani wasn’t around to soothe your distress with cuddles and kisses, you baked to your favorite songs & danced your troubles away.

without thinking, you put your playlist on shuffle and fixated all of your attention making your cookie dough.

with some properly needed karaoke and choreography to your favorite song, you formed the cookies on the baking pan with a smile. perhaps you could salvage this christmas after all. you tasted the batter to see if it was right.

your vision had begun to blur as katseye’s most recent song, touch, played through your bluetooth speaker.

you were singing along happily. why wouldn’t you be? this is your girlfriend’s song, is what you told yourself when you didn’t want to face the reality of why your heart was breaking.

you tasted something salty on your lips, and it wasn’t the cookie dough. you were crying — desperately wiping at your face so no tears would fall into the baking mixture. the song had felt so personal now.

you would hate for daniela to eat salty cookies, is what you told yourself as you clinged onto last year’s memories.

you hurriedly skipped the song — similar to the uber driver.

you were two different souls. though you weren’t feeling the christmas spirit like he was, you were two strangers experiencing the same feeling of embarrassment.

just like how you and daniela were now two strangers experiencing the same feeling of falling out of love.

she was just better at hiding it than you were.

the next song that played was needy by ariana grande. had spotify been playing with you now?

you reached out for your phone again, fingers trembling as you saw a notification from the person you were currently falling apart over.

my love 💖

hii y/n

my love 💖

i actually won’t be able to make it until after new years ): i’m really really sorry

my love 💖

i love u so much, baby. call me tomorrow

my love 💖

ur gift is in my bottom drawer

your heart broke into a million pieces. you didn’t even want to bake the cookies anymore. you didn’t even want to celebrate christmas. you didn’t even want to open her christmas present. it wasn’t what you wanted.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you and daniela were recording yourselves making snowmen in her parent’s front yard.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when daniela spent the first 12 days of december proving herself to you.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you were safe in daniela’s arms after telling her how your parent’s didn’t even bother to celebrate christmas with you.

still, you responded as you usually do. it’s okay, i understand, is what you would say when you never truly did.

you felt like you weren’t asking for much. you were just a person who missed her person.

you had missed her so much that you hadn’t even realized you were full on sobbing now. everything had hit you at once. frustration, loneliness, anger, desperation, sadness, and guilt. you felt guilty for trapping her in this relationship with you. sadness because you had the worst day ever. desperation because you hadn’t seen your girlfriend in months. anger because you felt like she had abandoned you. loneliness because you only saw the love of your life through a screen. frustration because you just couldn’t figure it out. were you not enough for daniela?

yet another part of you felt like you were too good to her.

but there was always new year’s, right?

and that was the cycle of you and daniela’s relationship.

taglist — @saysirhc

[bambicito]

͡꯳⃘꤫ ✿ ⁎̯ ✧ * . ･ ángeles sin alas

[hyelita]

⌞ take me ⌝

[f4irytkii]

i love myself, i love my will ㅤᡣ𐭩ㅤㅤ૮   ᪲ ⠂⠂ 𐭩ㅤ

they said i won't, i bet i will 𒈒

i love my flaws, i love what's real ᅠ★     ໒꒱     ♱     ᭄

i won't feel full 'til i'm fulfilled ⠀⠀.𐎫

i had a hole in my soul 𒈒

[chaeneuu]

[kiri-io]

　　𝓜y　　　　only　　　　love　　　　　♡

[poeticore]

© to @gigittamic for the second divider

𖹭 first divider made by me 𖹭ㅤ

[peanutcrumbs]

𝑶𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔 ❞

Jujutsu Kaisen˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Nanami Kento

-housewife Nanami (valentine special)

©peanutcrumbs

+dividers cred : @gigittamic

[lovesickxmina]

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[hyelita]

⌞ fake it heart fake it all ⌝

[hyelita]

[hyelita]

[hyelita]

hii, could I request a jo yuri moodboard :D thankuuu

⌞ stuck with me ⌝

[f4irytkii]

come on baby, just, party with me ᖗ ◝

let loose and set your body free (oh) ✶ ･

leave your situations at the door ✶ ･

so when you step inside jump on the floor ᖗ ◝

[f4irytkii]

treasure, that is what you are ᘝᡴꪫ

honey, you're my golden star ୨୧

you know you can make my wish come true 𞋒

if you let me treasure you ✿

if you let me treasure you ꒰  ꒱ ★

[peanutcrumbs]

❝ 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚

Enhypen˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Park Jonseong/Jay

-head massage

-pink lips

Lee Heesung

-lingerie

-2 a.m.

-drunk-dazed

Stray Kids˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Christopher Bang/Bangchan

-mommy's little puppy ft. felix

Lee minho/lee know

-behave

Lee felix

-mommy's little puppy ft.bangchan

Hwang hyunjin

-cam ON

Tomorrow x Together˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Choi Soobin

-can i eat your ass?

Choi Beomgyu

-taste test

©peanutcrumbs

+divider cred: @gigittamic