#until i decided something for him to make for me to eat :/

[saymio]

Silent Obsession

Pairing: Hwang In-ho (the front man) x Fem!reader

Summary: your husband was missing, and all you did for days was stay at home crying your eyes out...waiting for your dearest husband to come home. this was until inho had decided to come give you a little visit while you were all alone and vulnerable.

Warning: dead dove: do not eat, noncon, degradation, light bdsm, manipulation, In-ho is obsessed with you, rough sex, mentioned age gap (20 years), cheating (not rlly), there might be more but I'm too lazy to write it.

A/N: not proof read. this takes place during s1. (most/all of the beginning contains junho x reader content)

7.2k Words

...

it was 2015, just a few days ago your boyfriend junho had invited you to meet his family on the day of his brothers birthday. his brother was turning 40 and they were hosting a small party, just a few people... and your boyfriend thought this would be a great time to invite you to meet his mom and brother. he was ecstatic at the thought, he really wanted his family to get to know you since last year he had met yours. and he was really serious about you... but it would be an understatement to say you were nervous. hell, you were scared. you wanted to leave a good impression on his family, this was the man you wanted to marry. if his mom didnt approve of you what could you say? she was wrong? that her opinion didn't matter? these thoughts swarmed your head for hours every day....

junho was driving the two of you from your small shared apartment to his moms place. you were sitting in the passenger seat as you stared out the window of the car, you were shaking... not from the cold but from the anxiousness you were brimming with. your fingers tapped against the interior of the car, your nails making a clicking sound every time they touched the material. "are you cold y/n? I told you itd be cold today..you should've worn a bigger jacket" junho glanced at you for a second before staring back at the road and sighing. he hated when this happened, when youd be so insistent in not 'ruining' your outfit that you wouldn't pay attention to whether you'd be cold or not. this always happens! ..but he always wears a jacket for you. because he knows you'll end up shivering from the cold gusts of wind and he cant stand the thought of you suffering from the freezing temperatures. you let out a small chuckle, it was barely over a whisper but junho heard you loud and clear. "why're you laughing.." he frowned a little, not because he's upset or mad at you but just because you werent taking the situation that seriously. "what if you catch a cold? at least think about me when you dress this way..you know I hate when you're in pain.." the last part of his sentence was soft and quiet, as if he was murmuring to himself..making sure you wouldn't hear him. "stop worrying so much babe...I'm not cold or anything.. just a little jittery, its my first time meeting your family after all." you giggled at his genuine worry for you, he was such a drama queen. making these small actions seem so much more serious then they were..but its something that made you love junho. how kind and protecting he was of the people he cared about. "nervous? you don't have to be nervous y/n...I'm sure they'll love you." junho's right hand made its way to your left hand. holding it tight before giving you a soft gentle smile. his ability to sooth you with just his smile had to be studied, he truly was an angel on earth to you, like he had a halo on his head 24/7. you leaned forward a little and left a quick peck on his cheek, quickly leaning back down to your seat and looking away from him. but at the corner of junhos eyes he could see how red you've gotten...he thought it was adorable. how the two of youve been dating for 2 years but you still got flustered over small kisses. you were so innocent and kind, the exact woman he needed in his life...

but little did junho know, he was right. his family did love you..especially his brother.

you had arrived at his mothers house, .. your nerves were spiking, how should you introduce yourself? what if the cake you made was still raw? what if inho doesn't like his present? these thoughts ran through your head as you two waited for someone to open the door. your finger nails tapping against the box the cake you had made was in. the sound deafening you as you just wanted the damn door to open already. you really just hoped youd make a good impression... after what felt like an eternity the door opened, behind to door revealed the birthday boy himself, Hwang In-ho. junho just shook his hand before you bowed at him slightly before shaking his hand and introducing himself briefly. "happy birthday In-ho, my names y/n" In-ho just nodded coldly at you, if the harsh winds outside didn't freeze you his stares did. he stepped aside, allowing the two of you in. he lead the both of you up the apartment complex stairs, your heels making a loud click sound echo though the staircase with every step you took. after only a bit of walking up stairs you had reached the door to where the party was being hosted.. . . when junho had told you itd be a 'party' you expected a family gathering with like 15 people, but upon arrival you quickly realized..it was truly just him, his brother and mom celebrating inho's birthday today. you were pleasantly surprised, you hated large groups of people..it made you skittish and always super nervous. so just 3 other people being there calmed your nerves down, alot. the apartment was small and cozy, very homey and nice. his mother had made a mini feast with delicious foods and decorated the place with a few balloons and banners. it was a seemingly wholesome sight of a mother doing something nice for her sons special day, it made your heart warm up inside your chest as you took a seat at the table. "hi honey, what's your name?" junho's mother grabbed one of your hands, cupping it with the both of hers. you felt yourself blush and smile, you had barely even been inside yet his mother was being so kind already. her soft gentle voice, and kind soft eyes. it was everything that's junho was. "y/n, what about you miss?" you were trying your best to be as polite as possible, you didn't want to tip her off and cause her to hate you.. but you felt kind of uncomfortable.. inho..he was staring at you alot. and it was like he wasnt trying to hide it, his dark eyes piecing into your soul. as if he were looking for the innocence inside of you... to take it away from you. the entire day just led to you getting more and more uncomfortable. you weren't able to stare into his eyes because you felt if you did he would just jump onto you not giving a shit about his mother and brother being there too. "y/n, what would you say if your favorite thing about junho?" inho spoke, his deep voice sent uncomfortable shivers down your spine.. this entire atmosphere..it was odd. but it was like only you caught onto it. you stared at inho before turning to junho...he was blushing. he tried keeping a stoic face but you could tell he was getting flustered before you even spoke. his ears tinted in a light pink an so was his neck. "ah.. well his kindness..I think its the main reason I fell in love...he's very kind and soft spoken to people. at least until they do something wrong..but either way he's an angel." a gentle smile took over your face, you stared at junho and then at inho to continue your sentence..it was obvious you were head over heels for this man.. "he's just a very likable man." inho smiled at you, not speaking a word but it was like his face said them all for you. but they weren't the words you'd expect a caring older brother to say, it was more like a .. 'wow how nice.' but in a sarcastic tone.. his mother on the other hand.. "aww how sweet! young love, its so beautiful." she clasped her hands together before grabbing your forearm and staring up at you with twinkling eyes, it was like she was already envisioning your wedding and family with junho. "promise me you'll take care of my son, okay?"

it was a little past 10pm by now, everyone had eaten a slice of cake and junho's mother adored it. junho was right, his mom did love you. she was already talking about marriage and how she wouldnt be surprised if you made the wedding cake because the one you had brought today was "just too delicious!" you laughed and giggled at her antics, your face flushed in embarrassment. you turned to look at inho, who was staring at you intensely. your happiness almost instantly vanished as you shuffled in your chair. maybe he was upset you hadn't given him his gift yet...that should do it!! maybe he'd stop once you did. "a- inho, I brought you a gift." his eyes widened and it had seemed like he just heard life changing news, maybe he really was just sulking over a present..it was kind of cute. you grabbed your bag from your feet next to you and shuffled around until you found a yellow box, you pushed it towards inho and smiled. your tried your best to give a genuine, heartfelt smile even though you felt uncomfortable with all his glances and stares. he smiled at you, this time it seemed a little less fake...but still not genuine. he opened the box, it was a watch. a very beautiful one. it was shimmering under the dinning room light, a light white silver with simple but detailed engravings on the band of the watch. it was beautiful and it definitely wasn't the cheapest, you don't remember how much it was exactly since you had bought it the same day junho had told you about his brothers birthday..but you knew it was enough to make you wince at the receipt. "I left the receipt folded under the cloth Incase it isn't to your li-" you were cut off by inhos voice, it was calm, not as cold as it was before..it was rather soothing even.. "no. its perfect." he put the watch on, adjusting it so it fit his wrist perfectly. you felt your lips creep into a wide smile, you were so glad this day was going perfectly. "wow, that's such a pretty watch! it must've costed you a lot." their mother interrupted the two of you, staring at the watch that sat on inhos wrist and then at you. "inho, say thank you! be polite." she hit the back of his head harshly, as if she were scolding a little kid... you laughed at the scene, mothers truly see their children as their babies forever. "no- its okay miss don't wo-" it seemed like today was full of interruptions and cut offs as inho did just it again. "thank you y/n, I appreciate it a lot." his face was blank again, no readable expression was there.. but based off his passed reactions..you felt he was being sincere. . . . "thank you miss, thank you inho." you bowed at the both of them while you stood at the front door with junho, showing your gratitude for their kindness and patience with you and your boyfriend. "of course honey, please come back any time you want." junho's mother grabbed your hand one more time, inho nodded along with her. he wasn't a man of many words but it seemed his scary demeanor had vanished. maybe it was never even there and you were just nervous..either way you were glad you didn't leave the house with a weird feeling about your boyfriends brother. juho's mother then shoo'd the two of you away, telling you it was late and you shouldn't stay up so late at such a young age... you felt happy. a warm feeling sat in your heart and stomach, it was like you had just found your second family.

time skip (5 years)

there you sat in the police station, its been days since youve last seen your husband. you were sobbing into the palm of your hands, the salty liquid dripped onto your long dress as you drained ever drop of water from your body. you were terrified. what happened to him?? where was he?? what had he gotten into? you were devastated to say the least, you explained with a shaky and quaky voice that your husband had just told you he was off to investigate his brothers vanishment and would be back by the night..like always! so when you woke up and he wasn't there you just felt dread. you texted him and texted him all day to no response. when he didn't come back for the second day you reported him missing. you reported this story to the police about 9 times already, everyday since you reported him missing you came to the police station for any clues or help..an obviously everyday they told you the same thing...that they had nothing. the only reason they didn't push you off to the side when you came in was well..because your husband worked for them. he was a police officer under them, it'd feel disrespectful to you and junho if they just told you to give up hope on finding your husband. maybe you'd stop after another week or two..you'd realize whatever fate inho had found was the same junho ended to aswell... and not only that but you were pretty, kind and in obvious distress over your husband. they'd feel like they just kicked a sick puppy in the stomach if they told you to go away. so every day, at 8am you come in. usually in a pretty sundress but your state of mind isn't as pretty. your eye bags were prominent and you seemed to constantly be in a state of dissociation.... "you promise there's nothing? please double check! please..I need my husband back. you don't understand" your words were exasperated and rushed, you wanted answers, your husband, closure, anything! your breaths were getting heavy as you reached your delicate hand to the tissue box on the desk infront of you. you felt yourself breaking down, more and more, every. day. the police officer let out a breathy sigh, he was trying his very best to not tell you off. to tell you to go back to your home and cry there or something. to stop wasting his time every single fucking day.. but he couldn't. and he wouldn't. not when your state was some of the worst he's seen in his years of being an officer. "listen ma'am, there seems to be a dead end a-" you slammed your hand onto the table, one still holding the now damp tissue as you started to cry harder. you shook your head violently, indicating a very obvious no...or in this case obvious denial. "no. there..there isn't a dead end. he's alive and he needs your help!! please..please keep searching i-i'll.." you started to dig into your purse, the same one junho had gifted you for your 5th anniversary not long before this whole ordeal. when you felt what you were looking for you snatched it out your bag, like it was grabbing it, stealing it from your grasp. "h-here..d-dont stop searching please. I'll give you this..p-please.." in between words you started to cry more, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping off your skin. your head was lowered and you were looking at your lap. you didn't want to stop looking for him. you wouldn't stop until you knew he was safe. "ma'am...you don't have to give me money for doing my job." he slid the stack of money that you had taken from your purse back to you and shook his head in disapproval. "listen.. sigh we're trying our best okay? we arent just laying around doing nothing, he was our coworker and we want to find him as much as you do.." he looked away from your depressing state, you were catching your breath and shaking, your fists were curled into balls. it was clear, even though he was an officer that he didn't want to find junho nearly as much as you did..he didn't think it would even be possible to. "just..take a break. you're overwhelming yourself and it isn't good for you. junho is strong and you know this, so just believe in him and his ability to live..."

the officer opened a drawer that was next to his seat, it was a little pile of candies.. he grabbed a handful and handed you a few. with a shaky hand you took the candies, your eyes were red and puffy. it was painfully obvious that you had just broken down in tears. you didnt want to speak but it was obvious by the way you acted, that all you wanted right now was for your husband to come back into your embrace. "if you want I can step out and let you calm down." the officer stares at you, awaiting the answer that would leave your lips. "no..its okay.. i-...whatever. thank you, I will take a break to calm down and compose myself. please have a good day." you mumbled the first few words, like a scared child who had just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar and is now making up an excuse. you let out a loud sigh before you stood up from your chair, rubbing your tired, sore eyes before fixing your hair and grabbing your bag. you turned around right as you were in front of the office door, you bowed at the officer to show your gratitude as you proceeded to touch the cold metal handle of the door and creaked it open. with a click of the door closing you were walking away from the room you had just broken down in.

there you were, sitting on the edge of the bed you and your husband shared. it felt cold every time you sunk your body into the soft mattress..cold and empty. you weren't used to this, you were used to your husband coming home from work and giving you a kiss. slipping into the soft blankets together as you worked as heaters for each other's bodies. you didn't like this. you didn't want this. you flopped your upper torso onto the bed, causing it to make a squeaking sound to the sudden pressure. your legs were dangling off the side of the bed as you stared up into the ceiling. the world around you felt hazy, like everything that surrounded your body was just an empty void of nothingness. the world was meaningless without junho. you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier...until they had finally closed shut.

knock... knock... knock you jolted up from your bed, who was here at this time? it's like 2am... you stared at the closed bedroom door, thinking about if it was a good idea to open the doorm. you're a young woman alone at her house at 2am...what if it was a sex trafficker trying to kidnap and rape you!!?? knock... knock... knock the loud but slow knocks echoed throughout the house, the knocks took a 3 second pause inbetween..it was so creepy.. it made your skin crawl.. bu...what if...what if the police have clues about junho and came to talk to you about it they heard of it!! or..what if junho had finally come home..... these thoughts rand through your head, you were scared of what might be behind of that door. but not scared enough to not open it. you slowly got up from your bed, making it squeak under the pressure of your body. your soft slippers made a swooshing sound against the wooden floors as you shuffled your way to the front door... knock... knock.... knock there it was...the knocking. you couldn't help but feel this dry lump from in your throat, but you had to do it...you needed to make sure... if it was some stranger you'd just slam the door on them and go and hide in a closet or something.. your swallowed the lump in your throat and placed your palm on the cold metal of the handle, unlocking it with a small click and turning it clockwise so that it opened the door.. you didn't open it alot, just enough to see who was on the other side. your eyes stared at the dark soulless eyes In front of you, it was a random man. you had no idea why he was here or what he wanted..but he looked very familiar..maybe he was an off duty cop that just wanted to check up on you..? "h-hello..? how can I help you..." your voice was small and quiet, barely above a whisper as you used the door as some kind of shield from the strange man. "yes. you can." you stared up at the man with confused puppy dog eyes, what did that even mean?? you furrowed your eyebrows and squinted your eyes as you stared at him..you were about to close the door on the strange man until something clicked inside of you. you recognized where he was from.. "inho?! w-what? what are you.." your judgmental facial expression quickly changed into one of shook and worry, was he here to see junho? how would you break the news that his brother was now missing too?? you raised your small hand to your mouth, covering it in shock..you didn't even know what to do....what should you say..? your eyes started to water and tear up, you were reminded of the harsh reality junho was in..he was seriously missing and now the person he went missing looking for was In front of you...it seemed like everyone was just against you. mocking the disappearance of your husband. "what...are you doing here? a-are you here for junho..he's.." you let out choked sighs after every other word, taking your hands from your mouth to your entire face. you were a crying mess In front of a man you barely knew, it was so embarrassing. you were so pathetic and sad. everyone's been telling you to just get over it but here you are, sobbing for what felt like the 6th time today. a loud sigh snapped you out of your saddened state,, but...it wasn't a sigh of disapproval or frustration...it was like a sigh of...desire. like he was getting off to the sight your sobbing, scared and fragile body. "you're doing this on purpose, you have to be." you stared up at inho with confusion. you eyebrow was raised, as if asking him what the fuck he meant by that. before you could even mutter a word he pushed you, really harshly. you went flying back into your home, head hitting the hard wood. you felt yourself getting dizzier and dizzier for a few seconds...you felt like you couldn't move, speak or even see anymore...your head was spinning and alarms were ringing from the inside of your head..until you were passed out.

you woke up... you were sitting in the middle of the dining room, it seemed like someone had moved the table and other chairs out the way as it was literally only you. you and the chair you were sitting on. the room was barely lit up, you could only see some of your surroundings due to the singular light that was on. the ligh that bulb was right on top of you..it felt like you were about to get interrogated for murder,,you were terrified. for you wanted to scream, cry and just run away from what was happening. but you couldn't. your ankles were tied onto the legs of the chair. your arms and torso were bounded to the chair itself with a thick rope., it was digging into your skin hard..it hurt. alot.. you wanted to squirm around and get yourself free but you knew you'd just end up knocking the chair down and you'd be stuck in an awkward position..you tried to start screaming but you couldnt, you were confused..it was like your mouth was glued shut.....your eyes darted around the room, looking for anyone, anything to help you. it took you a second for you to put the pieces together but.. once you did you realized.. your mouth was duck taped shut. you didn't know what to do, you were overwhelmed and you just wanted your husband back to you. you closed your eyes shut as warm salty tears fell from your eyes. your eyes just couldn't catch a break, could they? they were tired and sore. even when you werent sleepy it hurt to open and close the..a result of crying for days.. you just wanted to feel happiness again. but clearly that wasn't going to happen soon. was your fate going to be the same as your husbands? were his kidnappers after you to sew your mouth shut?? you didn't want to die..at least not because you got closure.. "you shouldn't cry Infront of me. its a bad idea. I have a thing for little girls that look pretty when they cry." your head jumped forward, looking at the figure that had stepped out the shadows surrounding you.. your eyes widened, remembering that inho had been the one that knocked you over and caused you to black out. the same man that had gone missing 5 years ago, the same man that your brother went missing looking for.. what was he doing here? was he here to kill you? to keep you silent? to assault you? thoughts rand through your head as he took large, slow steps towards you. as if he was mocking your frightened state. he reached his right hand out towards you, your eyes landed on the silver watch he was wearing. it seemed so similar to the one you had gifted all those years ago..but no way he would still be wearing it, right? before you could even process another thought his hand gripped at your hair, pulling your head back and forcing you to literally stare up at him. the roughness of his grip made you wince in pain..he didn't come here with intentions of being nice and if you didn't realize that person you definitely realized that now. you tried to scream and kick your feet, you knew the tape and rope would stop your attempts and make them useless but you still tried. your screams just came out as diluted, muffled noises. the tape had stopped you from making any loud noises... the chair under your only shook a little but it wasn't enough to lighten the grip inho had on your hair. his dark, soulless eyes stared you down. they were like black orbs, nothing behind them. he grinned at you, like he was watching a cartoon and a character had did something funny. he was laughing at you. he thought this was funny. "you look so stupid, you do know that the tape will just silence all your screams, right? or are you too young and dumb to understand that yet." he tilted his head at you and gave you a mockingly confused expression. he was having the time of his fucking life while you were here, scared for your damn life. you glared at him, trying to intimidate him..doing anything to scare him...trying to find the little humanity in him that feels sympathy was clearly never going to happen. so you had to try another approach..even if it wasn't going to work either... and your suspicions were right ..

he just smiled at you, another mockingly fake smile... he released his hand from the grip he had on your hair and pinched your cheeks, just as roughly as he did with your hair. leaving a red mark when he let go... it was like he was treating you like you were a pouting child, stomping your feet because your mom didn't let you buy the comically huge lollipop you really wanted. "youre not scary sweetie." the pet name made you want to throw up in your mouth. he knew well you were his sister in law but here he was, calling you pet names with his disgusting voice. " you know..ive had my eyes on you since i met you...you're just so gorgeous..and delicate." he took a short but slow walk around u and stopped to stand behind you. his cold hands reached to your face and covered your eyes. you couldn't see anything but you knew he was leaned up in your ear...you could feel his hot breath making you unnervingly uncomfortable. "I just wanna ruin you." your breathe hitched in your throat, he was going to rape you. you know it, you had to fight back, you had to. you couldn't let a man that wasn't your husband put his dick inside you. inho took his cold hands away from your face and walked back in front of you. you glanced down at his crotch and...there was a bulge...he was getting off to your scared shape. he truly was an emotionless sadist.. he held up his index finger to your covered lips. "shh. make any noise and I wont think twice about killing you and your husband." your eyes widened as you heard the last part...that meant your husband was alive..and he knew where he was. you nodded slowly, complying with his words. he ripped the piece of tape off your mouth, causing you to let out a yelp in pain. you stared at him with a frightened face, you realized you had just made a loud sound...you didn't want to die you didn't..you didn't want your husband to die! "I said. be quiet." the truth with inho was, he had already killed your husband..at least he thought he did. only a day ago did he shot junho, causing him to fall off the side of the island...he probably drowned and is floating lifeless in the sea right now.. but you didnt need to know that...and it was clear you weren't even aware. your mouth was shut and you tried to silence your heavy rapid breathing....you really did love your husband..he wanted to steal that love from junhos grasp. he leaned down, his face was now perfectly aligned with yours... you wanted to say something, you wanted to scream and cry but if you did he'd kill you...you knew he would... his left hand started to rub your cheek, it was gentle and warm but it just made you hate it even more...his fake kindness. you hated it. his lips connected with yours, at first it seemed like he was trying to be gentle but it was obvious he had quickly gotten bored of it before he got rough. your teeth were clashing with each other as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. exploring every inch of it before he started to nip at your lips...he was aggressive and messy. everything junho wasn't.. this wasn't the kind of kiss you wanted or craved. you felt like your eyes were sewn shut the way you refused to open them, you didn't want to stare at inho. you just wanted this to end..maybe once it did you'd finally have your husband back. after what felt like hours of making out he has finally took his chapped lips off of your soft ones. a string of saliva connected the two of you as he caught his breath. you opened your eyes to stare at him, they were watery..your tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes as you caught your breath. to inho you eyes were like glass marbles...and he wanted to shatter them into pieces. you took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. if you were calm it wouldn't be as bad. you read this inside your mind over and over and over again. you just prayed he would use you quickly and then leave... "you know, that day..the day where junho has brought you to our mothers house for my birthday.." his eyes wandered away from you, as if he were recalling the day in exact detail, scene by scene...

his eyes snapped back to yours, holding intense eye contact until he continued his sentence... "when I asked you what you loved most about junho you told me you loved his kindness. you said he was a soft person..an angel in your eyes." he crouched down, staring at you with intense eyes. his sharp features were like daggers, stabbing one by one into your heart. "you told me you loved something about him that I lacked. I'm not a kind person. and right now..you probably think I'm the devil instead of an angel like my brother.." he smiled at you, it was a cold, fake smile. if you touched his face right now it'd probably be ice cold.. "thats how I knew someone like you would never willingly be with a man like me.. but it's okay, I'll just force myself onto you." you started to cry, the salty liquid streamed down from your cheeks to your chin. your eyes were red and puffy, you didn't know what to do. you didn't want to be with this man, you didn't want this. inhos left head reached to your face, this time he squeezed the both of your cheeks so that your lips were puckered at him. "got it, princess?" he leaned in to kiss you again, this time he went aggressive right away. forcing his tongue into your mouth, some of your tears dripped onto his mouth. letting him taste the saltiness of your sadness. and it was delicious.

there you sat, he had freed your ankles from the restraints on the chair. nipping and licking at your clit. you hated this, you couldn't stop crying. you felt disgusting, a man that wasn't your husband was licking and eating your pussy out. why would you let this happen? at this point death felt better than breaking your husbands heart. you lets out cries and soft no's as he slurped your juices. you hated that it felt good, you hated that he knew what he was doing. your moans and mewls filled the room, followed with wet sloppy sounds of spit and cum mixed together. he's been eating you out for what felt like hours, you've probably came like 3 times already. you were getting tired..your legs were shaky, trying to close in on themselves but inhos arms kept them wide open for you. "p-please stop. I don't like thi-this...ah...please..let me go already..please.." you were begging with him, your eyes were shaky, your face was flushed and your lips were wet from his aggressive kisses. god. the scene of you begging for him to stop as he abused your clit was one he wanted engraved in his mind forever. he let go of your pussy with a loud pop, your juices and his spit was all over his mouth and chin. he looked like a wild animal that had just eaten his prey alive. with his sleeve he wiped off the liquid on his face. 'ruining' his all black jacket. "you want me to stop but your cum is all over my face and lips. you want me to stop but you keep moaning. just admit you're a slut for me." you close your eyes shut, shaking your head viciously, you don't want him. you don't want this. you just want your husband to be safe. that's all you want... inho scoffs at you, as if you were lying to his face. maybe he truly did believe you wanted this..that you wanted him.. but you knew it wasn't true, you knew that you loved junho and that you werent fighting back back because you just wanted him back.. you'd break down in tears in his arms once he comes home, you'll explain it when he's home. he'd understand..right..? you were lost in your thoughts, but reality snapped you out of them.. 2 long fingers were inside of your core, curling and pumping in and out... it hurt so much. it was nothing like you were used to, slow paced and gentle..no..it was fast and rough. you let out a cry, you were in so much pain it made you want to go insane. the rope that was still tied around your arms and waist dug into your skin, burning you as you struggled under the restraints..trying to find a way out. it felt like inhos was trying to split you in half, the rough skin on his finger pads only made it worse. but ofcoourse it had to feel good, because he knew what he was doing. even if it was messy, even if it was rough, even if you didn't like it..he knew how to make a woman feel good past all the pain. he tilted his head up towards you, his dark almond eyes burned holes into yours. "you gonna cum?" instead of a question, it felt like a demand. demanding you to answer yes, scaring you into saying yes.. but you didn't say yes, you said no. you shook your head and mouthed no to inho, not daring to say it out loud..and it obviously made him upset. he sneered at you before grabbing is free hand and pinching your clit before speeding the pace of his fingers. this was something you've never felt before, the pleasure finally overshadowed the pain and it felt like he had just forced your orgasm out of your body. your cum coated his digits, leaving a slightly milky white color on them.. you were catching your breath, it was hard to breath..the pain, anxiety and fear were catching up to you...you felt your throat slowly closing on you..you felt like you couldn't even breath enough air to supply your lungs are this point.. you were so caught up in your own world that you didn't even realize how he was pressing against the bulge that was begging to be freed from his trousers..he stared at you with bleak eyes, there was nothing behind them...nothing but desire and want..you were scared witless of what he would do to your poor body next. and whatever it was, you didn't want it

the bed was creaking under you, the same bed you and juho slept in everyday... you legs were pressing onto your stomach, the skin rubbing against each other. inho was slamming his cock in and out of you.. touching spots you didn't even know could be reached before this. you felt horrible for feeling so good. but you didn't want this. you were a crying moaning mess. your nails were digging onto his hands, the ones that were pressing you down. you were begging for him to stop, you didn't want this..you felt like you were being forced into this. with the life of your husband on the line.. inho let go of your left thigh and reached to your neck. his freezing hand sending shivers through your body as he started to choke you whilst pounding in and out of you..destroying your gummy insides. he lowered his face to you and scoffed, you looked so pathetic. crying and sobbing acting like you weren't enjoying his fat cock. why wouldn't you just admit you liked it for once? "acting like youre the victim while my cocks deep inside of you. is this all women do? complain about everything..just admit you like it. I wont tell." you felt so degrading. you were getting fucked by a man you barely knew on the bed your missing husband and you slept on every day at somepoint. using his life against you and now he's blaming you? was it really your fault? could you have just turned him away and still gotten junho back? was that an option that you weren't told about? you started crying, your weak arms pushing against his chest with no avail. you just wanted it to stop, you were in pain and now you're being told its your fault you're in this situation. you can never win. you began to sob louder, begging him to let you go, louder and louder until you were wailing like a stupid baby. your hand grasped at the tight grip he had on your neck, then to his chest to push him away again. "shut up." he snarled before taking off his hand from your neck, he had left a bruise from how hard he was gripping...with the same hand he harshly slapped you. shutting your cries up quickly. a red spot started to quickly form, your skin was now irritated in what felt like every place on your body.. "you're such a slut. taking the dick of a man 20 years older than you on the very bed your husband would sleep on. do you not feel ashamed? hmm?" he hummed at you, waiting for your reply. but you didn't even mutter a word, nothing. you decided you'll just take it with no noise, if you stay quiet up maybe it'll end faster?.. it should...shouldn't it..you were trying to comfort yourself in your head.. "you can keep trying to tell yourself otherwise but youre nothing but a dirty cheater. taking dick like a good girl. this probably isn't the first time youve done this huh?" he laughed at your now soulless face, he was right when he said he wanted to ruin you. he was doing that, and it got worse with every second that passed. "ffuck I'm close. you better cum or else I'll js' keep on using you until you do." you started to tear up, your clit twitching and your hole began to clench around his cock. you felt good, but terrible at the same time..you doubted he was cumming because he thought you felt good though, it was a factor but it was probably your shape that made him so horny. you were sad, in pain...tired... he got off to it so bad. you let out quiet pants and moans, indicating to inho that you were close too. he started to get sloppy, his pace getting even faster as the wet slapping sound of skin filled your ears to the brim. you felt your clit pulsating, begging for release...once you came you'd be free..you'd be...you'd be....be.. "a-aa.. fuck fuck fuckfck fuck! ouOUGH~" you let out loud, filthy moans. probably for the first time that night, instead of your cries it was your moans and whimpers that the room was now brimming with. inho loved the sound of your noises, your cries, moans, everything. God it made him so horny...once he felt you cum all over his cock he let his go through as well. fucking his orgasm into you deeper, and deeper with a loud groan..

he kept moving slowly, fucking you through your orgasm as your breathes calmed down.. "I want to ruin every inch of kindness and hope for humanity you have left in you. you're so perfect. perfect to corrupt.." his hand raised to your cheek and started to rub it 'lovingly'. you had a feeling he wasn't going to let you go like he had told you he would.

...

Another not: I FINALLY FINISHED YAY took me like all day again but ....yay!! I hope u guys liked it. I'm pretty proud of it but idk if its ooc or not... but SMASH THE LIKE BUTTON N HIT SUBSCRIBE 4 MORE..!!!!!!!

TAGLIST: @pollys-doublelife @gongyoosgf

[toxycodone]

mouthwashing characters and their icks

ship. tulpar crew x reader

content. sfwish, just annoying things about our faves, some are romantic and some are general.

Captain Curly

Wildly empathetic. Like to a point where it’s annoying. Like yes, you get it. It’s sad to see an animal on the side of the road. But this is the second dog this week and it’s bit him twice. (He also falls for like. Fake homeless scams. Omg.)

I think he had an era where he had a cat that fucking hated him and never ever left under the guest room bed and terrorized his guests but he didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. 💀

He always ends up playing devil’s advocate without trying. Like when you’re complaining about someone at work or some bitch who cut you off in traffic, Curly’s like “maybe they had a bad day!” or something.

He just…never lets you just wallow in your misery when you need to. When he starts with his “look on the bright side!” stuff it makes your eyes roll back into your skull.

Is soooooo fucking conflict avoidant he’d rather just take shit on the chin then ever speak his mind about things with you. It gets so bad bc he’s bottling all this crap up and getting kinda catty. Because he won’t just grow up and tell you what his problem is.

Comes home in his dirty ass shoes and tracks mud all over the house. I mean he’ll swiffer it up like the housewife he is but it’s annoying.

Doesn’t clean his hands before touching your phone (or his own) before eating,. U get a greasy screen.

Jimmy is an asshole to you and Curly just goes “now now, Jim…” It won’t be until Jimmy does something like. Really bad. That Curly decides to put his foot down and enforce boundaries with that man. You witness this dude literally use your man as a doormat way too often.

If you make him choose. He would probably choose Jim unless push really came to shove…..

GIRLS FLIRT WITH HIM IN PUBLIC AND HES TOO ‘AWKWARD’ TO SAY “I’m taken…” so he just flaunts in the attention. In reality he just…likes the attention but doesn’t want to admit it to himself. (He’s loyal don’t get me wrong but this is annoying)

Thinks big romantic public gestures are cute. Whether that is an ick or not is up to you.

Jimmy

GOES THROUGH YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU’RE ASLEEP OR IN THE BATHROOM. And when you catch him he’s doesn’t even bother to make a good excuses “just wanted to check something.” Okay??? What?? If you go through his phone he will legit tackle you for it back (he isn’t even cheating he’s just pathetically bitchless and friendless. His last text was to his dealer and bro didn’t even respond.)

Will leave your important messages on read. It’s like he has read receipts on just to spite you.

Aggressively questions you out of the blue on who you know and hang out with as if it isn’t the same fucking people each time.

Really horny when he’s drunk and tries to seduce you but has terrible whiskey dick.

Terrible morning breath. Rank. Disgusting. Also all his clothes have the faint scent of stale cigarette smoke. Along with his carpet. And furniture. His walls are probably off-white too.

World’s dirtiest bathroom it’s literally so gross. He leaves his stubble in/around the sink after shaving with an electric razor real fast before work.

Has probably kissed you and then asked you what you last ate with a grimace 💔

Your friends hate him. Your family hates him. Your landlord hates him. And he hates them back.

You’ve had to bail him out of jail before. The officer on duty just gives you a pitied look when he sees you walk in and say you’re bailing him of all people out.

Pretty sure he has threatened to kill himself if you leave him multiple times but lashes out at you when you’re sweet to him at the most random times.

Anya

Stealing this from @l1v1ngd3dgrrl but Anya has the DUMBEST. LAUGH. Like she has a cutesy laugh until she’s finally not thinking and she laugh so hard she snorts. So loud.

Refuses to file down her nails so she accidentally scratches you all the time.

Definitely has an ex she’s still friends with that makes you lowkey question what is going on between them bc they’re obviously still into her and she doesn’t see it.

She silently judges and you can see it on her face when she has something to say but then she goes “it’s nothing!!!” And refuses to say it. (However, this does make her the best gossiper and she can be a total mean girl and tear apart bitches you hate on secret.)

Lowkey tries to psychoanalyze you when you’re venting to her like girl. I am not your homework.

Thinks it’s her responsibility to “fix you” for some reason. Takes you being depressed, angry, etc a little too personally.

Never watches the movies or shows you recommend you have sit her down and watch it w her. And she will. Be distracted by stuff on her phone.

Avid Mitski fan. And Nora Jones. Just an air of sad girl and longing to her that goes soooo crazy.

Big fan of ugly sweaters and tacky matching outfits….but has the audacity to make comments on your style.

Daisuke

“This one’s for you!” *Misses*. In public. In front of your friends. Need I say more.

Uses your hair products in the shower and your soap and your nice shaving oil without asking. :/

This is moreso in the beginning of the relationship but. I see this persisting that he’s constantly looking to you for approval for things. Has a really difficult time making decisions on his own, too. He’s looking to you for guidance on stuff,

Unironically thinks Dutch ovening you is funny.

Your friends all think he’s mid and although he’s sweet. You’re way outta his league. You’re dating down.

Has more skin care products than he can ever use. He’s a total product junkie.

GACHA GAME WHALE. Has definitely borrowed money for a ten pull in genshin 💔

Has cried out of frustration over Fortnite before (he was in a bad place. Okay.)

Cannot keep a job for the life of him. The only solid career he lands is like. Bobarista. But goddamn he’s good at it.

Has. Forgotten your anniversary/birthday/etc. before. and probably almost threw up out of guilt.

Swansea

Does the dad cold start every morning. Hacking. Coughing. Spitting up in the sink. It’s gross.

When he takes a shit he’s stuck in the bathroom for like half an hour at least. It’s always oddly humid and gross if you go in after him.

Chews with his mouth open.

Walks around shirtless only in underwear and will proudly fart whenever he needs to and it’s loud as fuck.

His kids lowkey hate him tbh. 💀 they have a better relationship as adults but man. Rocky fucking childhood.

Nothing ever really makes him satisfied or truly happy so you’re stuck in this weird limbo on if he actually gives a shit about you or not.

Rolls his eyes at you. When you can plainly sees he has suuuuch an attitude problem it’s crazy.

Definitely has asked for a manager in your presence over something minuscule (you wanted to die)

[sturnlsstuff]

GHOSTFACE!MATT LOVES SNEAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE WHEN HE'S BORED

[smut, dom!matt, knife play, fingering, mdni] — link 🔗 — divider credits. @anitalenia

putting the headphones aside, you're immediately surrounded by the silence of your home, broken only by the faint sound of the refrigerator or cars passing on the street outside.

looking at the watch you realize how late it was, you spent half the day in the living room reading a book, music was playing in your ears. yawning, you untangle yourself from the blanket and lazily go to get ready for bed. it takes you less than twenty minutes in the bathroom, now wearing tight shorts and a loose t-shirt to sleep in, you go to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

you eat dinner peacefully, the silence in the house interrupted only by the quiet playing of audios while scrolling on tiktok. once you're done and after checking if the door is locked, you make your way to your bedroom, your footsteps echoing throughout the house.

the door to your room was slightly opened even though you're completely sure you left it closed. deciding to ignore it, you walk inside, turning on the small lamp that dimly illuminated the room. taking a step forward, a scream escapes you as someone comes from behind the door, one arm immediately wrapping around your neck, the other pinning your arms behind your back.

"hello sweetheart," you hear a low, hoarse voice in your ear. a moment later you're turned around and pushed gently onto the mattress.

he towers over you, the ghostface mask and the knife with which he pulls the hair from your terrified face, helps you realize who it was.

"matt?! are you insane?!"

he chuckles, spreading your legs and propping himself with one hand beside your head, a shiver goes down your spine. "missed me?"

"i told you to stop sneaking into my house." you say trying to sound irritated, but the fact was your body started getting affected by his closeness, especially after not seeing him for over a week.

"and i told you that i don't care, didn't i?"

you roll your eyes, but the words stick in your throat as he runs the knife lightly between your breasts down your chest, stopping between your legs. there was no pressure on it, he didn't want to hurt you, but you felt it enough to make goosebumps appear on your skin. matt definitely knew how to work you up.

"and what's that what you wearing? would be better without it, hm?" after one weak nod from you, he takes off your shirt, your breasts appear to his eyes, immediately making his pants seem tighter. "so... asked if you missed me— 'cause i definitely did..." you nod again, a smirk plays on his lips under the mask. "open up, sweetheart—" after seeing you give in, he sticks two fingers into your mouth, you immediately suck them. when he pulls them out, a strand of saliva connects your lips to his skin until his fingers begin to play with your hardening nipple.

a quiet whimper leaves you, the vibrations going straight to your core. the longer he played with your tits, the more turned on you became, especially when you felt the cold part of the blade touching your other nipple, but not in a way to hurt you.

"m-matt..."

"i love how eager you are f'me..." he mutters, closely watching your reactions and the way your hips slightly lift up in an attempt to grind against him. "alwayssss the same reactions... you like a little adrenaline, hm?"

during the next few minutes of him torturing you by playing with your tits, more and more moans started escaping your lips. he noticed a dark spot forming between your legs, which had him smiling, giving you a small pinch that had your back arching up.

"want more?"

"y-yeah... please touch me—"

matt barely holds back a groan at the desperation in your voice. "yeah? want me to touch you, pretty girl?"

"mhm," you nod again. his hand moving teasingly between your legs, his fingers pressing against you through the clothes, starting to rub slowly. "you're soaked already, aren't you?" his voice is breathy, heated. "you love when i sneak into your room, but always try to act so annoyed..." his fingers hook in your shorts, pulling them down just enough to get his hand between your thighs properly. he rubs more insistently, feeling the dampness through your underwear.

the feeling of him touching you especially in the ghostface mask was out of this world. your body had never reacted this way to anyone else, your hands always twitching to touch him, toes curling, head spinning. he always knew how to touch you to make you lose your mind. and he loved it, he was obsessed with the way you responded to him.

especially now, having you on the bed with your legs spread, breathing heavily. it was his favorite sight, knowing only he can make you feel like this.

"mhmm," he smirks, his fingers slipping under the fabric of your underwear, feeling your slick heat directly. he circles your clit with his thumb, his other fingers pressing inside you. "your pussy's soaking wet..."

a moan escapes your lips when his fingers start pumping in and out your dripping cunt. "p-please more..."

matt lets out a low chuckle, his arousal growing with each second. he adds a third finger and speeds up his pace slightly. "more? want me to fuck you harder with my fingers?" his thumb presses firmly against your clit, rubbing in tight circles.

all you can do is nod, your vision goes blurry especially when he once again starts playing with your tit. your moans are muffled by the way you chew on your bottom lip to try and compose yourself, but matt maintains the relentless pace. "gonna be a good girl and cum all over my hand, sweetheart?"

"yeah— mmm, fuck, i— oh shit....s-so close—"

your pussy starts tightening around his fingers, making him grin, his movements becoming even more focused. "feels good, hm?" matt teases, curling his fingers just right to hit that sweet spot inside you.

"so— good—" your eyes roll back as your orgasm starts building. he keeps his pace, his thumb pressing harder against your swollen bud. the stimulation of his hand working between your legs and the cold blade of the knife teasing your nipple is enough to send you over the edge. your body shakes, your walls clamp down hard around his fingers as you cum with a loud moan of his name that echoes through the room. "shitttt, there it is..." he groans in satisfaction, continuing to rub your clit and curl his fingers until you're fully ridden out your high. "so pretty when you fall apart like this— just for me, yeah? just for me..." he repeats under his breath.

"oh my god..." you gasp for air, the grip on your sheets loosens as your eyes flutter open. with a satisfied sigh, he slowly removes his fingers from your dripping pussy, bringing them to your mouth. you obviously suck them clean, his eyes gleaming with pride under the mask as he looks at you.

"what's even the reason you're here?" you finally manage to ask still panting. even if you can't see his face, you know him well enough to know that he has this smirk plastered across his face.

"oh, was just bored."

a/n: i love ghostface!matt, pls gimme more requests/asks about him 😼

taglist: @certifiedstarrr @chrislovespepsi @le4hsblog @sturnsxbitvh @sweetlikesug4rvenom @xaristhings @mattsfavbitchhh @lvrsturniolo @r0s3luvr @slut4brunettes @madisonsturnioloss @chrispillowprincess @sturnioloslutttt4 @ashlishes @mattsbitchh @hi-people-who-are-alive @stellward123 @inssanely @matts-girlfriend @imnotalive420 @emely9274 @shadowthesim @yunkilm @sophiaxsblog @namelesssav @demyackerman @fratbrochrisgf @lvrsturniolo @chrisweetheart @chrisfavoritewhore @sturnslutz @ncm9696 @certified-sturniolo @mattsobvimyfav @swagalicious260 @giannalovessturniolo @sophand4n4 @brazyturtleneck @jocelyncsblog @sophand4n4 @giannalovessturniolo @alesturniolos @ilovenmcs @seluky10

[notpixl]

HSR Character Drabbles (Ft. The Stellaron Hunters & The IPC)

Had to change the title since like the realizing part is kind of restricting my headcanoning ahh and I want to just-

Your honor just kill me I just wanna write 🫠

GN!Reader as per usual

And if there was a Title to describe this whole bananza then it’s: What do they do when they’re in love with You?

But it feels… you know what? Just enjoy this mess.

Also! Established Relationships for Topaz and Aventurine. I would’ve gone insane by the time I had something for them that isn’t in the relationship phase…

—————

———

—————

Kafka

She’s “somewhat” clingy

Been like this ever since she’s laid her eyes on you

You just bring a… certain charm that makes her enamored

And this feeling soon devolved into something more…

I wouldn’t say worse but…

It reaches to the point where she cherishes every moment with you

Be it longer hugs

Her hands intertwined with yours at any chance she gets

Or a few more minutes just so she can lay in bed you a little bit longer (the whole one room one bed is orchestrated by her, of course)

You’re just…

Mm…

She just wants to be with you

Every second

Smile for her, will you? Just once? It’ll get her going

Silver Wolf

Holed up in her room

Otome games stacked beside her

Reading text at near light speeds as if it isn’t even difficult

And once she meets her own reflection from the end credits…

She concludes that it isn’t enough

…she wants everything to go right

Not to make an embarrassment of herself

It has her spiraling downwards and staying up for days until you’re told by Kafka to check in on her

Her eyes flutter open

Words of concern spill out of your mouth

She’s not even listening to you

Just…

Wondering if these hands on her shoulders are real or not

Thankfully she does get ahold of her senses and willingly heads to bed

Not before having more… thoughts

Damn can she be just normal for once-

Tip for Boss: Give her a hug

Blade

Sort of good news…?

He’s in love

Bad news?

He’s in love

He goes to such lengths in distancing himself from you, often taking missions that’ll definitely take a month or two to finish…

It’s only when Elio and Kafka step in with these countless missions that he begrudgingly takes in your presence again

Though… some part of him appreciates your company

Even if one day you…

Well…

Let’s just ignore that for a second

All that matters now…

Is that you’re here

Side note: Ruffle his hair at least once or twice a week.

Pretty please.

Firefly

She’ll be fine she says!

Cues to her trying to get a grip of everything the moment you wave at her

Firefly is… a mess to put it at words

Girlfailure if you will

From spacing out just by calling her name or her brain needing a reboot when you hold her hand

Heck, even Kafka and Silverwolf are teasing her about this!

But… she isn’t afraid to improve

Because one day

She’ll have the courage to…

To ask if you’re fine with eating cake rolls with her…

…

Doesn’t that just sound like a date-

Fun fact: She will stay still as a rock if you lay your head on her shoulder. Use this for whatever you want

Aventurine

Countless paper bags scattered across thr living room

You don’t deny these gifts of course it’s just…

You know

You’re not used to this

This amount of…

Appreciation

So, who would’ve thought that one day…

He decides to visit you!

Without warning!

…How did he even know your addre-

Right, your wallet…

That aside he’s just…

Standing there

Processing what’s in front of him right now

“…do you want more?”

“Wh-what?”

“Do you want a mansion instead?”

“Navi, can you get ahold of yourself please-

Call him nicknames. Makes him a tomato.

Topaz

Lap Pillows

And also Numby laying on your tummy

This has been an occasional thing whenever the weekend comes by

There’s also a switch in roles! And it happens quite often during weekdays when she comes home from work

Which lets you pepper her with kisses, leaving her a blushing mess afterwards

She’ll also fake getting sick just so she can be enveloped by your lovey dovey hugs just a bit longer

Though that always ends in her grumpily heading back to work…

“I miss my S/O, Numby…” She says as she closes the front door

Tip: If you kiss her then keep kissing her then make out and head to fourth base did you know she’ll be really needy an

Dr Ratio

After countless research and conducting…

Does he finally come up with a solution

…

A change in attitude

His rather… harsh demeanor would only lead to distancing yourself from him

Which explains itself very well in not having a chance at expressing his feelings for you

…but he’ll do what he can

Big or small

So long as you see him…

The way he sees you

Then writing this Thesis about Love isn’t so bad after all

I.E. Dr. Ratio turns soft for your sake and everyone else’s

…

“What’s this?”

“Tea. I thought you might need it for the gargantuous amount of paperwork.”

“Thanks… are you sure you aren’t possessed?”

“Why the assumption…?”

“You’re smiling.”

…

….

…

Yell at me if I did something bad for anyone in thi sob drabble :(

And that if this gets more than eleven likes I will have to acknowledge the fact that people like this

[raintemper]

More of them,, but they’re robot cats this time lol… I’ll draw Moon and Pebbles soon, and some others maybe

I’ll do anything but actually draw them as Iterators apparently

Don't look too close, Ive never drawn such mech heavy designs until now...I don't know what I'm doing. I got a little more confident with NSH but I was absolutely just going blind with Suns. It took me 2 days to figure out how I wanted to start with Suns...

Some background info dump of them for this? Au??? Idk yet lol, under the line if interested

Erhm. Set in a post apocalyptic world, much like how Rain World actually is. Alternative timeline where iterators don't exist?? Failed??? The ancients have not yet ascended?? Maybe??? Idk the details are still blurry to me also 😞. They are in a high security lab facility ground type setting. (Perhaps just an excuse for me to draw apocalyptic higher tech designs????) It is cold outside, some failed iterator structures still produce rain, and occasionally the air may become toxic.

Suns is an offensive/surveillance model meant for fighting and protecting as one can probably tell with his tail blades. It folds back in an attempt to make it less dangerous and also functions as a way to swiftly cut into something if needed. They are the only one of them (excluding Pebbles for special reasons) to be equipped with a mouth hiding sharp teeth and/or lasers for even more attack prowess. They are also still huge. Sorry I run with the huge Suns agenda. He is a tower. Easily wrestles most lizards. I still like the idea of fluffy Suns, so he still has it as a robot cat. Some insulation for the colder outside temperatures, he's outside a lot. Suns is not built to be friendly. Mostly acts and behaves as an unassuming robot early on.

Moon and Suns were the first properly functional/successful projects. They were edited and reconstructed a lot from beginning to now. Maybe they were both originally purposed as therapeutic companions.

The overseers are little drones that fly around. They still project things and are still sometimes unhelpful with directions, follow at your own discretion. The lizards and predators mostly ignore them as well. They do recognize the different drones with time. They've learned to recognize NSH's drones, which sometimes might contain some edible collected material, so they do occasionally try to eat those. And most of the smaller predators try to leave the area if they see Suns' drones.

NSH is closer to a pet model. He is made for reconnaissance and scouting. He is still tiny because I like him tiny, he's adorable. NSH has three pairs of legs for rough terrain traversal, and is a fast little guy. He helps in collecting samples and materials from the outside, marking maps, as well as finding viable safe spots/shelters. He has no mouth but has a component in his chest where he can collect small samples, as well as storage units in his drones to store excess. He has small vials of decontaminate fluid to clean any samples he collects, they have to be refilled occasionally. Also, as mentioned in the art, he can open his neck and chest area and just swallow bigger samples. He can even keep them alive inside him if he wants to. Otherwise, they're killed and turned into power for him to use. Sometimes he finds lizards with cool patterns and tries to swallow them to show Suns, who oftentimes will kill it afterwards.

He was the experimental project for emotive programming alongside Unparalleled Innocence/UI, hence his fully functioning screen as a face. As opposed to Suns, who functions more as a security camera. I think NSH and UI are both similar in the more playful/chaotic personalities, so I decided for them to be created around the same time and put into the same testing. Overtime, UI did not respond very well and was repurposed (She's not gone). Emotive sentience was programmed into NSH first and then tested on Moon. It was generally successful in both cases. NSH really enjoys messing around and can even imitate his fellow iterators faces. It works really well temporarily scaring predators using Suns' color markings lol.

Because NSH and Suns are both outside often, they have solar panel components in their design for extra power. The two of them are very close because of their shared experiences. NSH likes the outside more, Suns has little opinions of it. They worry about NSH because he's so small and curious and occasionally brings back dangerous things.

Suns is a little bit of an outcast here because of his difference in role. He is mostly left to roam and function on his own/not approached as he carries his role. The others are research focused and Suns is more obviously purposed for battle, so there is a little bit of a divide. Not to mention, he technically does not have the programming for emotions that Moon and NSH have. Suns does learn on his own though :D, some of it is learned from NSH too

I will leave it here for now. I will probably talk more about Moon and Pebbles for their own post. And the others as well. I'm still thinking about their designs though.

Erhm hopefully this makes sense somewhat and was at least a fun read.

[kiemiu]

𝓒𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄: 𝓢𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫

pairing kang sae-byeok x reader | wc: 1.8k

summary -> the worst day of your life. ( spending a day with your boyfriend ) warnings -> unwanted touch, alcohol consumption.

( beneath the quiet masterlist )

12:16AM

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 Sunday with your boyfriend was considerably the last thing you wanted to waste your day on. The tension between the two of you never subsided, even as the both of you texted each other every once in a while out of pure boredom, the conversation always stale and ending abruptly, ruining your mood for the remainder of the day. At some point you had stopped trying to mend the cracks in your relationship, sick of the way he treated you, as well as the way he lacked any respect for the boundaries you set in place.

Speaking of boundaries being crossed, he showed up at your apartment unannounced, the sharp pounding of his fists against the door and insistent ringing of the doorbell waking you up at 8AM sharp. The annoyance you felt as you stared at the ceiling like no other, whispering apologies to your alarm clock for ever calling it the most unbearable thing in the world in your moments of crankiness.

His intrusion of your space gave you no time to gather yourself, there was no transition from sleep into the reality of yet another exhausting day, the next one always more tiring than the last.

Him greeting you with rough kiss on the lips, From the very start it felt like an obligation rather than a date. Bringing his own set of clothes he wanted you to wear, a skirt too short, with a blouse too revealing. Calling your clothes boring, mentioning how much of an "upgrade" this was before dragged you along, feeding you an empty promise of today being the “Perfect Day”. And as much as you wanted to believe him, you couldn't. Noticing how every detail, every choice he made, was tailored to his preferences, without a care of what you wanted. Everything was always for him, from the stores you shopped at, to the food places you stopped to get something to eat.

Deciding to bring you to a café, one that you had once enjoyed but now resented. The rich aroma of coffee beans, once a comforting scent to ease your mornings, now twisted and churned your stomach uncomfortably, the smells overwhelming and making your head spin. You had told him weeks ago about your newfound aversion to coffee, wanting nothing to do with it unless it had to do with work. But as with most things, your vocal discomfort seemed inconsequential to him, always brushing it off with a "What about me and what I like?" even though it's always about him and what he likes.

Now you sat miserable at a bustling Café in an outfit you didn't like, across from a man you hated.

He at least had half the heart to ask you questions in a way that feigned interest, but it was undeniable how much he didn't actually care, the way his gaze always flickered elsewhere before you could even finish answering. His eyes shamelessly trailing up and down women that passed by, the smallest things pulling his focus away from you, leaving you feeling like an afterthought. Your words, spoken with less and less conviction, and your sentences falling shorter and shorter until they were simple hums. It didn't matter as you became mere background noise to his wandering attention.

At your silence it didn't take long for him to launch into yet another self-absorbed monologue, recounting his recent trip with an air of arrogance. His tales of all the “amazing” things he’d done during his three months away felt more like boasts than conversations, especially when he'd compare your last three months to his with the usual hint of arrogance. His sentences soon falling on deaf ears as you tuned him out, doing the thing you just judged him of your gaze now wandered around the café in search of anything to anchor your restless thoughts and cure your boredom—until your eyes landed on her.

Sae-Byeok stood by the pickup counter, her hands buried deep in the pockets of her oversized worn jacket. Her gaze, sharp and steady, already watching you with a familiarity that left you frozen. Everything around you—the hum of the café, your boyfriend’s incessant chatter—faded into a muffled blur as you kept your eyes focused on her. She didn’t look away, and neither could you, almost as if you were stuck in a trance from her usual analyzing gaze. Her presence somehow becoming something you missed even with how fleeting it was.

And It wasn’t until her name was called that she tore her eyes away from you, reluctantly turning to grab her order from the counter. Even as she looked away your gaze remained reliant on her figure, still staring until the insistent snapping from your boyfriend's fingers in front of your face, pulled you back into reality. A soft gasp, escaping your lips as you blinked rapidly, trying to force your eyes to focus back on him.

“Are you even listening to me?" He sharply asked, his hands now gripping the side of the table. "It’s like you’re half-dead,” he added, irritation thick in his voice as he sat back in his chair with a huff. His head suddenly turning to try and follow your gaze. “Who are you looking at anyway, hm?”

You opened your mouth, only a pathetic breath of air able to come about before you mumbled out a weak. “No one. I—I was just… thinking.” your tone shaky, unsure, and unconvincing.

He didn’t buy it, he never did. His judging gaze lingering on you long after your excuse. But before he could press further and catch onto who you actually were looking at, Sae-Byeok was gone. Flipping her hood over her head as she stepped outside, covering herself from the light drizzle outside. Even after being called out with his eyes still burning into you, you couldn't help but watch her one last time. Freezing at the glance she threw your way through the window, her expression unreadable as she disappeared into the street. At least you were happy to see her.

With an annoyed sigh followed by angry grumbles, your boyfriend waved over the waiter, demanding the check with the kind of dismissiveness that left a bitter taste in your mouth and a cloud of embarrassment hung over you at his disrespectfulness. Sitting in front of him left you wondering why you had ever gotten together with him in the first place.

Waiting for the check in silence and being dragged to the car was something you wished to never experience again, the weight of what his next words or actions might be left you jumbled with nerves. And as if things couldn't get worse, the ride home only revealed how he knew nothing about you.

"The fuck is your problem, huh?" was the first thing that met your ears. You shrugged all of his pointed comments and aggressive jabs off, mumbling quietly as you fiddled with the rings on your fingers. None of his comments or questions were meant to actually find out "what was wrong with you" they were just mindless jabs at your supposed “coldness.”

You stayed still as ever when he turned towards you, seeing out of the corner of your eye the rise of a slow smirk making its way onto his face. "I know what this is about." he quietly mutters, his voice dropping down an octave making the hair on your neck stand up.

"You do?" you question, with raised eyebrows, eyebrows moving but the rest of your body remaining frozen as a soft hum fell from his lips.

"You just missed me."

You had to fight your eyes from rolling, of course he didn't fucking know.

One of his hands softly landed on the skin of your knee, his fingers creeping upward to your thigh, his fingers roughly kneading the skin of your thigh as he slowly pushed the hem of your skirt higher. Your stomach twisted in revulsion at the feeling of his touch, something that once excited you and filled you with butterflies repulsed you and filled you with dread and without thinking, you grabbed his hand, throwing it off of your lap while simultaneously pressing your figure as far as you possibly could into the car door, the cold window a welcoming feeling.

At the feeling of you throwing his hand off of you and the look of disgust that clouded your features, his grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles white as he snapped at you, “Is this really how you treat your fucking boyfriend who's been gone for three god damn months?”

You didn’t argue, you simply didn’t have the energy. Staring out the window, you muttered out with a sigh, “I’m just tired,” hoping the words would be enough to end the conversation. You couldn't put it into words, becoming so emotionally checked out that any type of conversation with him would be pure torture.

But they weren’t. His voice sharpened paired with a deep grumble, his next words dripped with venom. “If you’re not gonna fuck me, what are you good for?”

The silence that followed was deafening. The weight of his words settled over you like a shroud, suffocating and inescapable and by the time he pulled into your driveway, tears blurred your vision. He slammed the car door on his way out, leaving you behind in the quiet of the car and his absence. Something that should've brought you peace was instead suffocating and left you humiliated.

Through the cracked window of the car, you caught the faint, acrid smell of his cigarette smoke, the orange glow of the streetlamp casting against his silhouette that showed him leaning against the hood of the car, now on his phone as if he didn't just say the words that would haunt you throughout the rest of the night.

You didn’t wait for him to return. Gathering what little strength you had left, you trudged into your apartment and shut the door firmly behind you, locking out the night—as well as him. Walking to your room, you peeled off the day like a second skin, washing your face and changing into something soft, comfortable, and familiar. But the tears came harder once you were alone, the events of the day replaying in your mind like a cruel montage. You crawled into bed and pulled the covers over your head, trying to drown out the world. It was a bit ironic how the appearance of someone you knew so little of became the best part of your day.

Going to bed with one person on your mind, leaving the brunt of the day and your boyfriend behind.

Only to be woken hours later to the stench of alcohol and the unsteady shuffle of footsteps. Lifting yourself up to watch him drunkenly stumble into the room, a jumble of slurred apologies escaping his mouth, all stained with insincerity. Grumbles of "I'm sorry, baby." leaving his lips as he sloppily kissed you on the cheek.

You didn’t respond. You didn’t move, you nearly couldn't. Staring at the ceiling, you let his muttered words fade into nothingness and as he collapsed into bed beside you, all you could think about was how little you missed him.

I can't live like this.

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 📷 : @miabcuzz @twicesuuui @kissyslut @kritkalhit @st4rcs @dumbbellxo @theforestchoseme3 @wlvlurvsfimmia @genshinenjoyer @theweirdanimation @ch-3-rry @nenukkjhj @giaqnn @crack240 @pookalicious-hq @laurenkenss @sheinhamood @pooksterrr @bbynai @diorzs @beaaluv @colorfulkittenperfection @yourl0caltrash @kidicaruslover911 @sherryuki-callmeyuki @i0nic02 @knfthxv @mina-has-been-here @monroesturnns

[serxinns]

Harsh words from a beloved friend

Forgotten reader au scenario

Btw this was inspired by this post right here, and the concept and AU are NOT mine. They belong to @lovelybrooke . If you want to know more about the AU and support the creator, please do. They need all the love for their hard work!

WARNING! Before you read this fic includes: violence towards the reader, bullying, infantilization towards the reader, xenophobia? (I think idk), yandere behaviors, manipulation, gaslighting, and other topics that I may have forgotten that are probably triggering as well read at your own risk

A/n: whew, it's done finally. I hope you like it, everyone! Please tell me if I did represent infantilization inappropriately or not accurately in the comments. Constructive criticism is allowed. Also, if anyone can tell me what the headboard represents, it means you get your request written next!

You were lying in your bed relieved at last after barely surviving another harsh day at UA ever since the teachers and your classmates found out about you and Shigaraki's relationship for things have been going crazy and downhill, Aizawa would always have a strange expression on his face as if he was ashamed of himself and pitying you, it felt strange and discomforting like he NOW realized his actions which ticked you off a little but you brushed it pretending to be nonchalant about it

Next was your former friend Izuku, ever since he heard the news he and his gang would make constant checks on you which was very unnecessary in your opinion, izuku would purposely get in the middle of you and Neito's conversation, asking about your concerns and try to get you to spill out how you currently feel in his intention to try to be a better friend again by comforting you in his imagination to your luck tho Neito would shoo him off before he could even continue and quickly drag you away which you thanked him for.

But Bakugo and his friends were the worst. If not worse hell. Every time you walk into the class, they start to give you piercing glares as if they intentionally want to make you tense up. Their words have been becoming harsher during training but you tried to ignore them until they started using physical threats under a ruse as "jokes" Honestly you were scared for your safety so you tried to avoid them as much as possible, begging either Neito or Shinso to assist you while dismissing their questions or concerns, not even thinking what could happen if you were to ever run into them alone

Whenever you are, you repeatedly check your surroundings, making sure nobody is following you, making sure the coast is clear enough to make a run for it in your dorms and locking it.

You were beginning to be more skittish and more anxious about your surroundings always getting started by every single touch on the shoulder or when your friends tried to get your attention, whenever they asked about your sudden behavior you quickly pushed it to the side or made excuses

One day you decided to eat lunch with Tamaki since Hitoshi and Neito were busy with training and stuff, the two of you didn't talk much when eating together but you were comfortable with his presence enough to make some small talk here or there then continued eating, as you were enjoying your lunch Tamaki spoke something out the blue "y/n..are you ok?" You stopped eating and looked up at him "Of course I am why wouldn't I be" Tamaki hesitated a bit but he continued "Y-you're acting all skittish all of a sudden whenever we talk you feel like someone or something is watching you please I'm your friend you can tell me anything-" "I'm fine Tamaki I promise you dont need to be asking me" Tamaki was taken aback at your quick response you noticed his guilty expression and took a deep breath

"I-I'm sorry I'm just stressed from all the tests and stuff you know hero stuff can be stressful" A chuckle left your mouth as you took another bite "Oh alright if you say so but if anything birhtering you dont be afraid to c-come to me alright" you sighed in relief happy that Tamaki believed you so the Two if you continued with your lunch hang out

But that was so far from the truth

Tamaki knows when something is wrong especially when it comes to the people he cares deeply about, for example, he knows when Mirio is faking a smile or when he senses Neijire feeling uncomfortable or how Kirishima tries to stay determined even tho he can hear the slight tremble and stutter in his voice, and this time he now sees it more Cleary as he sees you slowly taking a bite out your food sweating in fear and your fingers twitch a bit it's so clear that you're nervous about something so why not tell him?

He swore to this day he swore he'd find out about whoever is causing you this, and he would protect you from them; for now, he just needs to keep a close eye on you from a distance...

When the two of you finished lunch, Tamaki offered to walk you to the class which you accepted as two if you walked towards your class in a comfortable silent, as you made it to the door you waved farewell to Tamaki and made it to your seat

As the class carried on and everyone was writing down notes for the next test, you couldn't help but feel some glares in you. Of course, you knew who they were, but you felt a particular glare, a glare that made your spine curl up. You wanted to ignore the feeling, but it just wouldn't go away curious but scared you grabbed a mirror/glasses (just any object that fits with a mirror) faced towards you, and slowly rotated it to see a reflection of a couple of your classmates

It seemed fine everyone was either focused on their notes reading or doing whatever until it hit Kirishima... you jumped when his eyes were staring directly at the back of your head intensely his teeth almost showing as if he was gonna rip you apart after class, your heart rate was now increasing you tried to steady your breathing to cover up the fear and confusion, why was he looking at you like..wait of course you know why but why does it feel like he's gonna do something to me...

You looked around to see something or someone to save you from this situation until you remember you do not have anyone in this class to rely on and Neito and Shinso were extra busy, as the class bell rang everyone got up to their seats including Kirishima he began slowly walking towards you with a dangerous glint in his eyes you stood still shaking a bit in your seat trying your best to avoid contact he was inches away from your desk

As he was about to take another step, a sickly sweet voice came out of the blue and blocked your view between Kirishima and you. "Why don't we go to the library for tutoring? We haven't done it in a while, plus I'll help you improve!" You looked up that the black ponytail girl momo was it? The two of you would do tutoring together at the beginning when she began to "forget" them and just stop hosting and inviting you all together

You didn't like her sessions at all now that you remember she would always treat you like some sort of baby early on as if she was holding an animal picture book and pointing out all the animals and mimicking the noises you were so glad Kendo and teru eventually teached you

But it seemed like you didn't have a choice, but you would rather go with a ponytail than wanna know that guard dog would do; all you had to do was zone out of Momo's lessons and wait until it got dark to make an excuse to meet up with Kendo, perfect plan right?

The library would've been peacefully quiet if it weren't for Momo constantly getting your attention to look at some words that you already knew and then talk to you slowly so you could "understand" better you muster up a smile at best to reassure her that you were listening when in your mind you wanted to leave as fast as possible and meet with Kendo

As the clock finally gave you mercy and struck 5pm, you hurriedly made an excuse to end today's session. "Oh man, momo, I think the tutoring session is up. Gotta leave!" You quickly got up, pulled in the chairs, and were about to walk out. "So soon? We just got started! Plus, I can do 2 more hours-" "Oh I would love to but I'm meeting up with Kendo and I don't wanna be a bad friend and ditch her" You didn't see Momo's cheery expression fall as you were too busy packing up and heading out the library "I'll see ya later!" You bid her as the door slammed shut the library became quiet once again with only the ponytail girl's blood boiling trying to keep her cool with a tight lip smile as she waved

You pull out your phone quickly texting her that you are coming which she replies with a smiley face emoji you chuckle texting her some memes and pictures as the two of you are spamming each other's memes back and forth you don't notice how much trouble you'll be in

As you accidentally bump into someone, you quickly backed away for a split second and apologized. You took your eyes out of your phone for a second to see who you bumped into to give them a proper apology and saw..

Oh no...

Kirishima

"You.." you mentally cussed as you backed away from him cautiously. "Oh uh hey-" "Don't 'hey' me, you traitor, you, Mole!" His anger was building up as he stomped towards you and pushed you on the ground; you could barely comprehend what the hell he was talking about and why he pushed you. "What-" "You sympathizer, you traitor. I don't even know how a villain like you could still be in this school!" His words are full of venom" "I know we were a bit harsh to you, but outing us out to the most dangerous fucking villain?! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I didn't know he was a villain nor did I know his name!? It's not like I knew he played video games!" "Again with these weak excuses, it was so obvious he was Shigaraki!" "Maybe I would've known I had friends and not be bullied by some blonde brute and his lapdogs!" Kirishima turned to you now with a more angry expression as if he was offended without a moment he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and lifted you to his level

"You have no right to call us that when you're a simple Mole to a dangerous villain who is trying to kill us all!" He molded his free into a fist and reeled it back you bit his hand as hard as you could to make him let go but he bit his tongue and endured the pain even when his hand drew blood

As he was about to land a punch, a sudden tentacle came shooting out of nowhere toward Kirishima's free hand restraining it "Kirishima" The red hair froze at the familiarity of who that voice was, he slowly turned to see where the voice came from and only stopped mid way when he saw the indigo hair male, Tamaki his eyes glared at Kirishima in disappointment and betrayal, Kirishima quickly dropped you as you landed with a harsh thud, rude.

"T-Tamaki senpai!!, it's not what it is-" "insulting your classmate and was about to punch them? Yeah, seems how it exactly is." his words were cut off as he walked past him and toward you, gently helping you up and getting on your feet. "Are you okay? He didn't leave any bruises or marks on you, did he?" You shook your head, still in shock about Tamakis sudden behavior, as Kirishima's anger grew at the sight of the person he grew respect for that he looked up to! Is defending you?! He couldn't stand it

"Why are you defending them you don't know how much danger they put us through!" As Tamaki looked back at the boy with a serious expression," And, do you think bullying and degrading them is any better? This isn't something a hero should do, Kirishima. Have you ever thought about what they feel about it or if they intentionally wanted to?" Kirishima paused for a moment and didn't utter anything, only just avoiding his gaze. "I thought you were better than this, Kirishima; what happened to you being the "manliest hero in the hero alliance?" Was that all a ruse?" "N-no tamaki senpai it no-"

"I don't want you anywhere near me or them I don't respect someone who bullies others"

Those words shattered Kirishima as he looked in disbelief. His thoughts became a blur as he saw his mentor, his friend, leaving with his hands protectively around you, getting far away from him... was he the problem all this time?

Was he actually a lapdog?..

...

"Thanks back there you didn't have to." He stopped at his track and smiled. "No, It's fine. You weren't in the wrong anyway he was. Don't feel guilty for something you did that wasn't in your control." You looked up at him, surprised."You're not mad at me? even when I became a...mole?" That's when Tamaki embraced you with a warm hug "Of course not, even when you make a dangerous mistake like that it was the villain's fault for trying to get in your head and manipulate you but you stood strong and made the right choice by informing the teachers therefore you're not a traitor nor a Mole in my perspective"

Your eyes brimmed with tears with his words, "Thank you, thank you," as you hugged him back a little tighter. Was your luck finally turning around? Maybe not, but slowly, but at least you had more people who didn't see you as a nuisance, a child, or any traitor. It felt nice that you were treated as a human being Even if it was temporary.

A sudden buzz on your phone caught your attention, and it was still snuggled in your pocket. As you pick it up, you see a bunch of missed calls and messages from Shinso, Neito, and Kendo, all spamming concerns about your safety or if they needed to come. "Oh shit! I gotta run my friends are worried for me and Tamaki thank you I'm sure you're gonna be a great hero one day as you gave him one last hug before running off looking for you're friends before they hunt someone down to find you

Timeskip

The next day was a regular day as usual you went into class avoided everyone as possible (mostly Izuku and his gang) sat down at the back of the class and started the school day as you were doodling down stuff you noticed how dull and quiet Kirishima became when he usually would go to mina as they chat each other's ears off all-day but instead he stayed where he was and just looked down at his desk mina came over looking concern for him

"Hey Kirishima you ok man" The bubbly teen hit him on his shoulder playfully but he all did was look at her, nod, and go back to what he was doing which made the hair girl awkward and murmur an "ok" and sat back down when the teacher came in to start the lesson

Even at training, Kirishima didn't utter a single word to you or his friends. Even when they were teasing you, he just looked away. "Hehe, yeah, they're so weak, right? Kirishima, cmon say something!" His other friend Denki kept pressuring him poking his shoulder and urging him to speak but all smack his hand away and walked back leaving his friends in shock and disappointment

Even at lunch, he wasn't even interacting with anyone, just playing with his food as he barely ate. Everyone sat in silence and stared at him until his best friend finally spoke up, "The hell is up with your shitty hair?" He was then ignored as the red hair kept poking with his food staring down at it, making the blonde more irritated. He snatched his tray away and put it far from the table "Are you ignoring me?" Kirishima finally looked up at him with an annoyed expression "I just said millions of times I'm fine blasty so can I please have my food back" bakugo slammed his hand down hard infront of him

"Like hell you are! You've been acting quiet for the whole damn day! And It's getting pretty damn annoying, so spit it out. God damnit, I'm tired of this childish shit" "Kaccha,n, chill o, ut, . Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" Denki butted him, trying to de-escalate the situation "he's right. What if he's having a bad day today? Or recently but he's right Kirishima we're all worried for you so please stop ignoring us and tell us" Everyone at the table joined him questioning and pressuring him to speak

He covered his ears not wanting to hear more without glancing a final Time at Tamaki and you talking and smiling at each other laughing tears began to brim his eyes as he got up from his seat and quickly ran out leaving his group and even Katsuki speechless

As he made it to the bathroom, he locked himself in there and took a deep breath. He then lifted his head and stared at the mirror, his reflection. "Why, just why did he have to go side with them fuck.." tears slide across his cheeks and fall through the sink he wanted to be angry at you so bad wanted to pin the blame on you or something to make him feel like he was in the right but the memories the flashbacks of how he and his friends mistreated you keep flooding back into his mind making him frustrated and yet gulity..?

Is he feeling guilty? For himself, no... for you, but how?! You're supposed to be the bad guy, not him. Why is he feeling remorse for you out of all people? Why does he suddenly feel like he wants to go on your knees and apologize it was supposed to be the opposite it's such a headache honestly and he couldn't make it stop he wants to stop thinking altogether

A knock at the door startled him and snapped him out of his thoughts. "Uh hey, is the bathroom available he stared at the door for a moment until he spoke up, clearing his throat, "Uh yeah, sorry! I'll unlock it!"

[strawberrystepmom]

im so curious what inspired the 24 year old vape addicted boy rant bc my sister is dating a guy EXACTLY how you describe its so infuriating

ngl to you it's bc i've been experiencing way too many young women in my life telling me these horror stories.

please don't take this as judgy bc it's not, i was young and silly and assumed i could fix someone many times in my life but i am begging you guys to stop accepting this standard of behavior from them. BEGGING. BEGGGINGGGGG!!!! they will not outgrow it. they will not improve. you will either break up with him or marry an adult baby who wants you to placate him for the rest of your life. decide now if that's something you want to actually put up with, if it's worth it just to say you aren't single bc yk what you can do when you are single? literally anything besides manage a man child's behavior. read. travel. eat. make friends. masturbate. anything you can do anything when u aren't wiping brent's face off bc his mom was still doing it up until three months ago.

[notiddygothgf]

17. Not a Date

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝Is this a date? ❞

★ c.w.: suggestive content. tooth rotting fluff. the hayakawa family being the hayakawa family. denji and power need their own warning.

★ a/n: HIIII EVERYONEEEEE!!! im back from my unofficial hiatus. So let me spill the tea -- as you all may know, I'm a Premedical student, and let me tell you..... finals did my ass INNNNN!! it was a struggle to stay alive but we #survived. I haven't been feeling like myself lately, but I'm taking a winter vacation to my lovely motherland, Puerto Rico, and I am SOOOO at peace rn. It's done wonders for my creative juices.

Thank you all for leaving such wonderful comments on all of the chapters while I was away. Yes, I've been reading them, and, yes, I've been cracking up over them for the past two-ish months. Y'all are fuckin hilarious. Anyway!! To make up for my absence, I've decided to double update and feed the girlies. I'm so sorry! I didn't forget about y'all... but....

Y'all know the drill... the more you comment, the more I update! comment away!! hugs and kisses from PR!!

★ w.c: .4.1k

shameless ; chapter index

As Aki was presently in no shape to cook, the two of you decided to go out for dinner. You tried hard not to think too hard about what it meant – of course, it was hard to ignore the way he tossed a twenty at Denji and Power and told them not to kill the delivery driver (and, subsequently, to not call him unless it was a dire emergency).

It wasn’t a date. He hadn’t asked you on a date, yet, so it wasn’t one.

So why did you feel so nervous?

Picking at the seam of your Public Safety slacks – the only decent outfit you had available, unless you counted your unlimited supply of oversized clothes from your not-quite-boyfriend – you shifted in your seat. Your eyes flitted over the restaurant, its patrons, the red wallpaper; anything but the handsome young officer sitting in front of you.

Aki was sitting directly across from you, long legs spread beneath the table, donning a blue button down shirt and some black slacks. It wasn’t the Public Safety uniform you had been so used to but, still, it was nice. His hair was down, the way you liked it, framing his pretty face beneath the dim lighting in a way that had your heart thrumming anxiously against your ribcage. 

Again, though, it wasn’t a date. He hadn’t said it was a date. 

You were just nervous because it was the first time you and him had gone out to eat together… alone.

Your plate was empty. Aki’s plate still had a few pieces of spaghetti on it. Long, pretty fingers plucked a fork off the table and twirled the noodles around until they were all balled up. He popped the spaghetti into his mouth, chewing with a quiet hum to signify his satisfaction.

Finally, he replied to the question you had asked a minute earlier. “November 11th.”

“You’re a scorpio?” You tilted your head, flashing him a funny little smile despite the horde of butterflies loose in your chest. 

“I guess,” He shrugged. He polished off the remainder of his spaghetti in one bite. “What about you?”

“Cancer,” You answered. “July 12th.”

He only nodded, smiling faintly as he wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin. The motion was casual, but there was something disarming about the way his smile lingered—warm and unhurried, like the late afternoon sunlight stretching across the café table. It made you falter, your own words catching in your throat as you searched for some confirmation, some clue in his expression to tell you what this was.

When his response came only in the form of that soft smile, the silence began to press down on you. A beat passed, then another, before you let the intrusive thought escape. “We’re supposed to be compatible.”

“Are we?” His grin deepened, and though it carried his usual dry amusement, there was an edge of curiosity there too—like he was testing the weight of your words.

“That’s what the zodiac says, anyway.” You shrugged, feigning nonchalance as you reached for your glass of water. The rim felt cool against your lips, a welcome distraction from the heat creeping up your neck. You told yourself it was ridiculous to put so much stock into something you’d read in a horoscope, and yet, your heart still beat a little faster when he tilted his head, considering you.

When the busboy came to collect the plates, Aki leaned back in his chair, his gaze softening as it settled on you. You caught it in your peripheral vision and turned toward him, only to find his expression unreadable but impossibly fond. That low hum of agreement that followed—“I have to agree”—seemed to reverberate in your chest, grounding you and upending you all at once. 

Your breath hitched, and you felt your composure slipping, the warmth rising from your chest to your face, blooming like a flush of petals that wouldn’t stop spreading. Were you imagining it? Reading too much into a simple response? He had always been measured with his words, careful to say only what he meant—but what did this mean?

The thoughts looped in your mind as you stared down at the now-cleared table, the edges of the placemat a blur. When you finally looked up, his eyes were still on you, patient, as though waiting for you to catch up to some conclusion he’d already reached.

The words tumbled out before you could stop them. “Is this a date?”

For a split second, you panicked. Maybe you’d said too much. Maybe you’d made it weird. But then his eyebrows raised, just slightly, and his lips curved into something small but genuine. “Why do you ask?” 

“Well…” You tried to play it cool, but your voice betrayed you, coming out softer than you’d intended. “It feels like one.”

He huffed a quiet laugh, leaning forward just enough for his elbow to rest against the edge of the table. “I would’ve dressed a little nicer if I knew I was taking you out out.” His tone was teasing, but the look in his eyes suggested something more—a hopefulness that mirrored your own.

Your heart swelled at the words, a warmth unfurling in your chest that no amount of teasing could deflate.

“Do you… want it to be a date?” He asked, then.

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the directness of the question, and you wondered if he could see how your pulse quickened. 

“I dunno… I mean,” You sighed, “On paper, I’m still married.”

Aki quirked a brow, “I think we’re a little far past that, aren’t we?”

You laughed – a genuine one, one that made your chest feel light. “I mean, it just doesn’t feel right – us dating before the divorce is finalized.”

There it was again. That word – divorce. 

It was hard to believe all of this was really happening.

“Then, it doesn’t have to be a date,” He shrugged, as if divorce and making the relationship official weren’t a big deal. Then, as if he had sensed the way you deflated, he added, “We can go on our first date when everything is finalized – go out ‘n celebrate,” Then, he smiled, “I’d take you somewhere way nicer than this, anyway.”

You could have laughed at the absurdity of it all. In fact, you almost did. “Celebrating a divorce with your mistress. That’s not something you hear every day,” You grinned. 

For a moment, a part of you doubted if this—all of this—was the right thing to do. The thought lingered like a shadow, nudging at the edges of your mind even as you tried to ignore it. Was it too soon? Too messy? Too complicated? The weight of your still-intact marriage loomed large, a tether that made it hard to feel fully present. But even as those doubts surfaced, another part of you felt freer than you had in years—like unshackling yourself from a life that had stopped fitting long ago.

A part of you wondered if – after all was said and done – Aki would leave you hanging. Leave you all alone with nothing but the wreckage of your life. 

But you took one long look into his eyes, and you knew that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Half-lidded and glimmering with affection, his eyes gazed back at you with nothing but pure adoration. He was in love.

I don’t think I have anything to worry about, you thought. As long as I have him, that is.

Before either of you could speak again, the waiter approached, his polite smile breaking the stillness of the moment. “How was everything?” he asked, his voice chipper.

Aki leaned back slightly, his tone relaxed yet earnest. “It was wonderful, thank you.”

The waiter nodded, seeming pleased, and placed the check down on the table. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said before stepping away, leaving you both alone again.

You reached for your purse instinctively, fingers brushing the leather strap as you glanced at the small black folder between you and Aki. But before you could pull it closer, he slapped his card down onto the table.

“Don’t even think about it,” He grumbled, though there was a flirty lilt to his words. 

“Aki, you’ve already done so much for me, letting me crash and–” You sighed, attempting to gently pry the checkbook out from beneath his fingertips. “At least let me pay for this.”

“No,” He answered without saving a beat. 

You furrowed your brows, “Halvsies?”

He made a similar expression, tilting his head at you as if that was the stupidest question he had ever been asked, “Are we… friends, or something?”

“Not really,” You bit your lip, a cheeky little smile threatening to break loose. “We’re not really dating, either, though, are we?”

“Friends don’t say I love you,” Aki slid the checkbook back over to his side of the table. Leaning in, he added, “A friend wouldn’t make you cum the way I do, either.”

Your face was on fire – you were probably red as a fire truck. You hissed, “Aki.”

“It’s the truth,” He replied. It was evident that he couldn’t possibly have cared less about where the two of you were. 

“What, so you’re telling me you don’t go around giving all of your friends head?” You whispered back, barely fighting off a smile.

“You won’t win this game, so don’t start,” He deadpanned. Unfolding the checkbook, he glanced over the bill, quickly slipping his card into the slot at the top. “Or I can show you just how friendly I am when we get home.”

His words made you bristle in an almost feline manner. “Who says I don’t want that?”

The waiter came by the table a second time, swiping up the checkbook as he did so. Aki looked at you with a smirk that implored you to try and pay the bill now.

“You’re a fiend,” He muttered with a shake of his head. “I just got out of the hospital, anyway. Doctor told me to avoid any…” Here, his gaze dipped, running over the length of your shoulders, your trembling hands. “Strenuous activity.”

You leaned forward, perching your chin on your palm. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” you teased. “Wouldn’t want you to pull your back.”

He quirked a brow. “You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“That thing where you test my patience,” He replied. “Try and make me give you what you want.”

“And what do I want, Captain?” You licked your lips – shamelessly, too. You were truly unhinged.

Aki visibly folded at the nickname, eyes softening. His lips parted, as if he were about to say something, but before he could, the waiter returned with the check, setting it down on the table in front of Aki with a quiet, “Have a lovely evening.” 

“If you wait thirty minutes,” He purred, “I can show you.”

(You had never left a restaurant quicker in your entire life).

Aki wound up doing no such thing. In fact, the two of you made a little pit stop at the convenience store to pick up some essential items for you – including skincare and a four animal-print face masks – before going home. Now, Aki sat sandwiched between you and the couch, with you sitting in his lap, laying a face mask onto his skin. His bangs were clipped back with the stupid little butterfly clips you had picked up, and he looked adorable – jammies and all.

He pouted, “This feels ridiculous.”

“Oh, shut up,” You retorted with a roll of your eyes, “They’re supposed to be relaxing, and you could stand to loosen up a little.”

A few feet away, Denji was trying to show Power how to open a face mask packet. It was a fruitless endeavor – one that ended with her biting into the plastic and ripping it off with her teeth. While he argued with her, his own tiger-print mask was sliding off of his face. His hair was clipped in the front the same way Aki’s was.

“God, you’re hopeless,” Denji muttered, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward, betraying his amusement.  

Aki sighed. “This is chaos.”  

“And yet,” you teased, running a finger over his mask for the final smoothing touch, “You’re still here, participating.”  

Just as you turned to grab your own face mask, you felt Aki’s fingers wiggle against your sides. A squeal tore from your throat as he tickled you mercilessly, his stoic mask cracking into a rare grin.  

“Aki! Stop!” you yelped, squirming to escape.  

“Not until you admit this is ridiculous,” he teased, his voice light in a way that sent a flutter through your chest.  

“Never!” you cried, twisting in his lap and finally managing to push his hands away.  

The moment you turned back to scold him, Aki caught you off guard. His hands found your waist again, but this time, they steadied you just before he leaned in and kissed you. It was soft and unhurried, like he’d been waiting for the perfect moment, and your heart stuttered in response.  

Aki's kiss caught you entirely off guard. His lips brushed against yours, tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but when you didn’t pull away—when you instead leaned into him—he pressed in just a little more. His hands, still resting at your waist, tightened slightly, grounding you. The faint scent of his cologne, crisp and woodsy, mingled with the faint cucumber aroma of the face mask, and for a moment, the world shrank to just the two of you.  

Your hands instinctively found their way to his shoulders, and the tension that always seemed to weigh him down melted under your touch. It wasn’t like Aki to be so open, so unguarded, but in this instant, there was nothing but the quiet exchange of warmth, a wordless confession in the way his lips lingered against yours.  

It wasn’t until Denji’s exaggerated gagging sound shattered the stillness that the spell broke. “Blech! Get a room!”  

Power tilted her head, squinting. “Why would they need a whole room? The couch is big enough.”  

You pulled away, face burning as Aki shot Denji a look that could wither a plant. “Mind your business.”  

“Hard to do when you’re face-smashin’ right in front of me!” he retorted, adjusting his sliding mask with exaggerated annoyance.  

You pulled back first, albeit reluctantly, though it wasn’t much of a retreat—your faces still hovered close, noses nearly brushing. Aki’s eyes flickered open, his usual calm slightly disrupted by the barest hint of embarrassment, though he didn’t let you go. His hands remained firm at your waist, keeping you close as if he wasn’t quite ready for the moment to end either.  

Your breath came out in a soft laugh, the sound barely audible over your thudding heart. “Well,” you murmured, tilting your head slightly, “that’s one way to loosen up.”  

Aki’s lips quirked into a small smile, his voice low and teasing. “I think I’m starting to like spa night. Let’s do this more often.”

Denji groaned dramatically, throwing himself back against the couch cushions. “Ugh, you two are the worst.”  

You sighed, your gaze still locked with Aki’s for a beat longer before you finally, begrudgingly, pulled away fully. You missed the way his fingers lingered at your waist, how his eyes followed you even as you turned to address Denji.  

“Alright, fine,” you said, shaking off the lingering butterflies. “We have about 20 minutes with these masks. What do you guys wanna do to blow time?”

Denji perked up at that, glaring at you like he’d just been handed ammunition. Aki, meanwhile, leaned back against the couch, his expression settling back into its usual calm—though the faintest flush on his cheeks betrayed him. You felt it too, a warm buzz that lingered on.

Aki’s arm rested comfortably around your shoulders, his thumb tracing slow, absent-minded circles against your upper arm. Despite the teasing and laughter filling the room, you felt grounded by his steady presence.  

“Truth or dare?” Aki asked suddenly, his calm voice cutting through the noise.  

Denji blinked, his brow furrowing. “What’s that?”  

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s a game, Denji. You pick ‘truth’ or ‘dare.’ If you pick truth, you have to answer any question honestly. If you pick dare, you have to do whatever the other person tells you.”  

Denji’s face lit up with a mischievous grin. “Oh, I’m gonna make you all regret teaching me this. Alright, cool. I dare Power to take a bath.”  

Power’s head snapped up, indignation written all over her face. “I never said dare! I was going to say truth!”  

Denji shrugged. “Truthfully, you smell like shit.”  

Power gasped dramatically, clutching at her chest. “You DARE insult me in my own home?”  

“You DARE stink up my air?” Denji fired back. “Seriously, it’s bad. Like, I’m surprised we’re all still breathing.”  

You turned to Aki, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going to say something about this?”  

He gave a small shrug, his expression unreadable but his lips twitching with amusement. “For once, I’m with him.”  

“See? Even stick-in-the-ass agrees with me,” Denji cackled.  

“Fuck you,” Aki hissed. “Twat.”

Power huffed, folding her arms with exaggerated pride. “I’ll only bathe if I lose a dare.”  

The game surged forward in full chaotic force after Power’s dramatic declaration. She leaned back on the couch, crossing her arms smugly, as if daring someone to challenge her resolve. Denji, of course, took that as a personal mission.  

“Alright, alright,” Denji said, cracking his knuckles. “Next round. Power, truth or dare?”  

“Truth,” Power said immediately, grinning. “I’m far too cunning for your ridiculous dares.”  

Denji’s grin widened, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Fine. What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever done?”  

Power didn’t even hesitate. “I ate a bug I found under the sink last week.”  

“Oh my god,” you shrieked, recoiling in horror.  

Denji looked torn between admiration and nausea. “That’s so gross but… also kinda badass.”  

“Badass?!” you exclaimed, turning to Aki for support.  

“She’s disgusting,” Aki said flatly, though there was a flicker of exasperated amusement in his expression.  

Power preened at the response. “Thank you for noticing my magnificence. My turn again!”

“No way,” Denji interrupted. “You don’t get to go twice in a row. It’s their turn.” He pointed at you and Aki, his grin turning sharp. “Alright, lovebirds. Which one of you is gonna play?”  

Aki sighed, his hand still resting on your shoulder. “I’ll go. Truth.”  

Denji rubbed his hands together like an evil mastermind. “Are you guys in an actual relationship or are you just fuckin’?”  

The room went quiet, the tension crackling like static electricity.  

Aki didn’t flinch, his expression calm as he met Denji’s expectant stare. “That’s not really your business.”  

“Hey, hey, that’s not how the game works!” Denji protested, waving his arms. “You gotta answer!”  

Aki shrugged, completely unbothered. “I just did.”  

You nudged him with your elbow, though your cheeks were burning. “By not answering, you’re only giving him more ammunition.”  

Denji groaned loudly, throwing himself back against the couch. “You two are so boring. Power, do something dramatic!”  

Power snapped to attention. “Truth or dare?” she demanded, pointing at Denji.  

“Dare,” he replied instantly, his bravado returning.  

Power grinned like a cat about to pounce. “I dare you to run outside and yell ‘Power is the queen of the world’ at the top of your lungs!”  

Denji didn’t even hesitate. He leapt to his feet and bolted out the door. A moment later, his voice rang through the night, startling several nearby birds.  

“Power is the queen of the world!”  

When he stomped back inside, his chest heaving, you couldn’t stop laughing. “You’re insane.”  

“Yeah, but I’m fun,” Denji shot back, collapsing onto the couch with a proud grin.  

Denji's triumphant declaration echoed through the room as he plopped back onto the couch, shaking water droplets from his hair after his dramatic outdoor yell. Power cackled, her chest puffed up in exaggerated pride as though his dare somehow validated her self-proclaimed title.  

“Alright, alright,” Denji said, waving a hand as he caught his breath. “Who's next? Let’s keep this going before it gets boring again.”  

You raised your hand. “I’ll go. Power, truth or dare?”  

Power smirked, leaning forward. “Dare, obviously. Give me your best shot, mortal.”  

You grinned, eyes narrowing. “I dare you to drink this entire bottle of water without spilling it, using only your mouth—no hands.”  

Power squawked in outrage. “This is an insult to my dignity! I am no dog!”  

“Well, you don’t smell much better than one,” Denji quipped, earning himself a glare.  

With a dramatic flourish, Power leaned forward, grabbed the edge of her bottle with her teeth, and awkwardly tipped her head back. The water sloshed everywhere, soaking her shirt and the couch cushions. She spat the bottle out onto the coffee table with a proud grin. “Success!”  

“Yeah, sure,” Aki muttered, brushing a hand over his damp pants where some of the water had splashed.  

“Your turn, Aki,” Denji said, rubbing his hands together. “Truth or dare?”  

Aki sighed deeply, as if already regretting his decision. “Dare.”  

Denji’s grin turned predatory. “I dare you to let your hair down for the rest of the night.”  

Aki blinked, caught off guard. “That’s it?”  

“No, wait—” Denji’s face lit up with a devilish thought. “And you have to let Power style it!”  

Power howled with laughter. “Yes! I’ll do it!”  

You watched, half-amused and half-apologetic, as Aki begrudgingly sat still while Power tugged and twisted his hair with zero finesse, producing a lopsided braid that looked like it had barely survived a hurricane.  

“There,” Power declared, clapping her hands together. “Magnificent!”  

Aki reached up to feel the disaster on his head, his expression unamused. “I’m never trusting any of you again.”  

“Okay, okay, my turn!” Denji said eagerly. “Truth or dare, babe?” He pointed dramatically at you.  

At this point, who gave a shit about order, right?

You rolled your eyes at his theatrics. “Dare.”  

His grin widened. “Alright, I dare you to answer this question – am I cute?”  

Your jaw dropped. “That’s not a dare!”  

“Sure it is,” Denji said, shrugging with mock innocence. “You have to answer, or you lose. So, what’s it gonna be? Am I cute, or am I not cute?”  

Power leaned forward, clearly invested. “Answer truthfully, mortal. Denji’s fragile ego depends on this.”  

Aki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose but unable to hide the faint twitch of amusement at the corner of his mouth.  

You crossed your arms, glaring at Denji, who looked entirely too smug. “Fine. You’re... adorable.”

The room erupted into laughter.  

“I’m not adorable!” Denji shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “What do you think I am, a dog?”

“Exactly,” you replied, grinning.  

Aki, clearly enjoying himself now, leaned back with an amused hum. “Sounds accurate to me.”  

Power, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, added, “You do smell like a dog most of the time, so it’s fitting.”  

“Traitors, all of you!” Denji grumbled, flopping back against the couch dramatically. “I’m the cutest one here, and you all know it.”  

Aki shook his head, his voice calm but cutting. “Keep telling yourself that.”  

Denji shot him a look. “Fine, Aki, your turn again! Truth or dare?”  

“Truth,” Aki said without hesitation.  

Denji’s mischievous grin returned. “Alright, serious question. Do you think you’re cute?”  

You couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out of you. “Oh, this is good.”  

Aki didn’t even flinch. “No.”  

Okay then.

The bluntness of his answer caught Denji off guard. “Wait, seriously?”  

Aki shrugged. “I don’t think about it.”  

“Lame,” Denji groaned. He turned to you. “Do you think he’s cute? Like, boyfriend cute?”  

The room went silent again, and you felt every pair of eyes on you. Your face heated under the scrutiny, but you refused to back down.  

“Yes,” you said firmly, meeting Aki’s gaze. “He is.”  

For a moment, Aki just stared at you, his eyes softening. Then he reached up, brushing his hand lightly against your hair. “Thanks,” he said quietly, the barest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. (Of course, it was hard to take him seriously when his hair was so atrociously braided).

“Don’t start,” Denji groaned, breaking the moment. 

“You asked,” you shot back, laughing.  

a/n: hiiiiiii, i hope you liked the fruits of my labor. (the real holdup was actually next chapter, which proved to be much more difficult to write)... anywho i'm not gonna say too much because I'll see y'all in the next chapter. Let me know your thoughts!! Ta ta!! xx QOTD: do you think denji sneaks into aki's room to try on his clothes when he's not home? bc i do.

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

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[gynandromorph]

So I've been playing wolfquest... My first lesson was that you don't start in a pack. You're alone. I learned how to hunt, impressed a mate. He's a good mate. Good genetic diversity. Amicable, social, energetic. Follows my lead in fights and hunts, backs off when I do, communicates when he intends to patrol while I've been sleeping. He could stand to be a little more aggressive, but he might be dead if he were. He has fought until he was all but dead before.

We established territory through multiple nights of no sleep and had a litter, 5 pups. Not fantastic. The mate plays with them, regurgitates for them if they're even slightly hungry. I tell him to stay with the pups frequently as I go hunt for food. He has motioned to go hunt and keep up territory markers on his own, but I tell him to stay by the pups while I go out, usually.

The first pup died from an eagle attack. I thought I'd had all of them in the den, but this one ran to the grass to hide instead, and I'd already had another in my mouth. I read that predator attacks when you aren't at the den are very rare, usually when your affinity runs low and the pups leave the den unattended. I didn't know this until I was down to 2. The second pup died to illness. The third, to a bear attack. They grew enough to leave the den, and we moved elsewhere. Eating was good for a long while. Just shy of 25 lbs, an invading pack of wolves got the fourth pup. When a canine bites a pup, it dies instantly. I was flanking a female to try to handicap her leg and thought my mate had the other wolf covered just a few feet behind me.

I helicopter over the last pup, until we reach the 25 lbs milestone. Just before that point, a cougar attacks. Since I only had one left, just picked the pup up and ran. I learned at this point that the aggro range for attacks on your pups has no boundaries — you have to fight them off even if you're miles away. I also learned that carrying a 24.5 lb pup drains my stamina quickly, and that the pup automatically tries to run back to the rendezvous site even if it's under attack and very far away. I nurse my stamina and hope my mate holds the cougar off until it's recovered, then take the pup and run to the next nearest rendezvous site and establish a new location. I wait for the cougar to make it to the new site and we fight it off relatively easily.

The pup hits 25 lbs and I advance to a new stage of the game. It tells me my pups will become hungrier, food will become harder to find, and some of my pups will probably die, even though most of them are already dead. The game tells me this is the deadliest time of year for wolf pups. I decide that my first order of business will be to hunt down some large game near the new rendezvous site and tell the game I'm ready to advance. A massive male bear, at the exact same time, decides it has designs for my last pup. Me and my mate fight it off, but we're left on the brink of death, him with a debilitating leg injury that will slow him down. Our territory markers are weak because I stayed near the pup after my litter dropped down to only one left. The pup is at 60% hunger despite being at 80% when we decided to advance to the next stage. We are both now too injured to hunt any big game to feed him. I tell him to hide and my mate to stay and keep watch while I go find food and touch up territory boundaries, unsure of what to do next. I manage to catch 6 rabbits, 4 of them just yards away from the rendezvous site. I drag them all to the pup by mouth and regurgitate anything I have left for him and my mate. Then I lay down and sleep next to both, in case something else attacks. I won't heal unless I sleep, and I can't hunt anything more filling if I don't heal. I wake up still quite low on health. Despite being fed so many rabbits, my pup is now even hungrier.

And that's where I am now. Half mauled to death by a bear with a mate who can't run yet and a pup who is half starved. I'm not sure what I'll do the next time I play.

I could stay near the site and try to catch only rabbits to tide the pup over until I'm healed more — but he may starve, and apparently my proximity only makes it more likely that he'll be attacked and killed by a predator.

I could take my mate, who is limping but has more health than I do, to hunt down larger game, but in the rare chance a predator attacks with neither of us there, no one is going to protect the last pup, and one of us might die hunting without healing more.

And as my last option, I'm considering trying to move the pup as far north as possible. There are beavers there, but it isn't my territory they're in. I have nearby territory, and, provided I can tide the pup over enough to heal, I would be willing to enter competitor territory and kill any wolves who try to defend it from me, in order to have a larger supply of safe, accessible prey. We could catch prey for the pup as we travel to the new site. However, my pup is too large to carry, and trying to become more independent; he doesn't listen well to "come here" and "follow me" and wants to wander. Not ideal for a long trip across Yellowstone.

I guess it's to be expected for a first time mother, but. It's rough

[fictitiouswanderings]

Jayvik posting part 5

Jayce could see that things were getting more difficult for Viktor, he only wished he could help. The other sat around on the couch more often at the lab massaging his aching leg and back, sighing heavily, not trying to complain but complaining in his own way. He wondered how he made the walk in the mornings from his apartment, and those damn stairs too. He was deep in thought when Viktor was snapping his fingers in front of his face. “Hey, are you in there?” Jayce shook his head a little before focusing on him. “Sorry, what were you saying?” “I was saying I was thinking of going home early. I don’t want to not be able to work, but I need to lay down, everything hurts right now” “Is it..normal pregnancy hurt? Or extra hurt? Should I be worried?” “It’s normal hurt, not yet doctor’s orders hurt” Viktor rolled his eyes a little. “If you’re going to take the rest of the day off please actually rest instead of working on something at home, I know how you are” “I intend to take a hot soak and then lay in bed Mr Talis, do you wish to supervise me?” Viktor chuckled.

Jayce flushed a little, taken aback but smiled back at him. “No, I have another project that I need to work on” “If you say so” Viktor grabbed his cane and made his way out of the lab to home, somewhat limping and waddling. 

Jayce feverishly jumped from the project he was working on to looking for apartments for him and Viktor, he decided that Viktor’s apartment was perfect for him, but much too small for a baby, and living together would have some great benefits. They could even look for a house. It wasn’t until he had at least 10 different places bookmarked that after hours of looking through place after place that he decided it was time to ask if Viktor would even consider moving in with him. He doubted the other would say no after at least considering it or not, maybe he wanted to have just himself and the baby to his small apartment. It was somewhat of a big step and he felt he should have asked months ago instead of waiting to see the other in pain like he was. 

On his way to Viktor’s apartment he passed by a florist’s shop he’d never noticed before, they were having a sale and the shop was beautifully decorated on the outside, beckoning those to come in. Jayce fell for its trap and decided to grab a bouquet of flowers from the shop, just something pretty for his lover. After leaving he continued his way to Viktor’s, finding himself clutching the flowers tightly against his chest, repeating to himself under his breath “Will you move in with me?”. Nervously he handled his set of keys and made his way into the apartment complex, he wondered if he should check Viktor’s mail or not and realized the other always did when the returned, so he decided it was probably already checked since Viktor should be resting by now. He made his way up those cursed stairs and to Viktor’s door, inserting the key and quietly opening the door. Viktor had done as promised and had taken a bath and then laid down, but was currently in the middle of making mac and cheese and cutting up hotdogs into it. He made eye contact with Jayce as he was cutting up another hot dog into the pot to mix in. “Well hello there Lover” he chuckled. 

Jayce smiled widely, “Hello! I have these for you” he gently thrust out the flowers for Viktor. “Oh! How lovely, thank you Jayce” Viktor spoke as he took the flowers from him and searched for a vase to put them in or the next best thing, a glass from the cupboard. 

“What’s the occasion? Did I forget something?” He asked. “You didn’t forget anything, I actually wanted to ask you something” “Oh? What is it Mr. Talis?” Viktor semi-mocked some seriousness playfully. 

“Would you consider moving in with me, and us finding a place together?” Viktor stopped stirring the noodles and hotdogs together. “Where is this coming from?” He, semi-evading the question while pulling the pot off the stove and eating directly from it. “Earlier when I was deep in thought, I was thinking about us, and the baby, and your apartment, and how you seem to be in far more pain lately” “Yes, and?” “And I realized this place” he gestured widely at the small room, “Might not be the best place to raise a child, and it would be nice…to live together too” Viktor just kept eating more mac and cheese as he listened to Jayce’s proposition. Jayce just stood waiting for a response, nervously rubbing his thumb and middle fingers together as a fidget response. Viktor looked the other up and down for a moment, then scooped another spoonful of mac into his mouth before nodding. “Is that a yes?” Jayce perked up in response. Viktor just nodded again before swallowing what he had. “Yes Jayce I’ll move in with you” he chuckled softly.

“Gods yes” Jayce praised, “I have some places in mind if you want to look at them” “Did you spend your afternoon working on this instead of working in the lab?” Viktor accused. “Maybe” Jayce pouted. Viktor only chuckled a little again seeing the other pout, “Show me these places” He finally surrendered the pot of mac back to the stove he’d turned off and led the other back to his bed which he comfortably cosied into. Jayce pulled out his phone and began showing Viktor the bookmarked places, nice two bedroom homes or apartments. “I noticed some of these aren’t apartments but houses….are you sure you’d want to buy a house with me Jayce?” Viktor asked, sincerely wanting to know.

“I would buy a house with you if that’s what you wanted Viktor, it could be our own little nest somewhere for the three of us” He gently raised his hand to Viktor’s stomach and rubbed him softly. Viktor sighed softly, it was nice to be touched by his partner.

“I think I’d like a house…we could modify it however we please, where an apartment, not so much. I don’t have much to offer in the way of furniture though as this place came furnished, and I haven’t really added to it. I’m sure they’ll leave me a list of things to leave behind when I move out, I’ll have to talk to the office about it”, Viktor mused. 

“Dont worry about furnishings, I’ve got that covered” Jayce spoke, kissing the other’s head softly. “Hmm, You’re so sweet on me” “Are any of these of interest to you? I tried to make sure that there was public transport in any of the places that are a little further out, if you’re willing to take a train or a bus.” “None are within walking distance of the academy?” Viktor questioned, “ I don’t mind having to walk” “I think the one’s within academy distance are all bought up for professorial housing” “Oh I suppose that would make sense…” Viktor frowned a little before continuing to scroll through the options Jayce brought to him. “Here, I like this one” he pointed out to a small home with two bedrooms that was close to a train station. Jayce looked at the listing again remembering the little home, it was all one floor with a master bedroom just a little larger than the other room. It offered a nice little kitchen open to a living room with a bathroom just off of that. “We could go and visit it if you want?” “I’m pretty satisfied just seeing it through pictures” “We should still have someone inspect it for us if not myself” Jayce responded “So responsible of you” Viktor jested. “I just want to make sure everything is safe if i’m investing my money into it” 

The two of them continued to look at listing after listing, while Jayce made note of which ones to call to see if they could come see the building.

It wasn’t long until the two of them were planning moving and it started getting late and they started to get sleepy laying in bed together already. Viktor began to doze off and Jayce just smiled and gently covered them both up in the blankets and went to sleep himself. 

The next day already they had places to see so they were up and getting ready to go on a viewing spree. 

Apartment after apartment, house after house, it wasn’t until the 8th house that they saw that they thought they may have found the perfect place. An older couple used to live there and there were already all sorts of bars for accessibility and support, there was even a bathtub you could practically stand in, made for you to sit but still taller than most tubs are.

“This is the place” Viktor turned around to look Jayce up and down, “what do you think?” “I think if you love it, then we need to put an offer in on it” “Put one in now” Viktor begged, “this place is perfect” 

Jayce chuckled a little and kissed the top of Viktor’s head, “Okay, I will put an offer in and see where it goes. Do you want to look at the last couple of places or shall we go home?” “Let’s go home, it’s getting late now” “Alright, sounds like a plan” Jayce replied before they left the last home and found a cab back to Viktor’s apartment. Once home Viktor was happy to get his leg brace off and relax back in bed. “What a day” he sighed out

“What a day indeed” Jayce agreed before he was sitting on the edge of the bed grabbing the other’s legs and massaging. “Ahh be careful, I need to keep this one stretched out a little more.” Viktor motioned to his bad leg.

“Sorry about that” Jayce replied, making sure his motions going forward were careful with the other. Treated him like he was made of porcelain. It wasn’t long after he started that he finished giving the other’s legs a massage and just laid them across his lap. He smiled down at Viktor and just took in the sight of him laying there pregnant with his child.

“What, what is it? Why are you staring again Jayce?” Viktor asked.

“ I’m not staring, I’m just admiring you”  Jayce replied.

Viktor laughed a little “you sure are a strange one” “Am I not allowed to admire you?” Jayce pried and Viktor shrugged a little. 

“I just always feel your eyes on me” Viktor finally replied. 

“I can’t help myself when I’m around you” Jayce moved Viktor’s legs so that he was laying down flat again and joined him to cuddle. “You’re just so beautiful, and I’m so lucky to have you” 

Viktor cuddled in closer to the other, a smile on his face, he was so lucky to have such a loving partner as well. 

–

Moving day was far more eventful for Jayce than it was for Viktor. When they had gotten notice that their bid for the house was accepted they all but partied the whole night with sparkling juice and food whipped up from what they had available. All Viktor had to do was package up his belongings which only took a couple of boxes and he was done. Jayce informed him he wasn’t allowed to carry anything and he was fine with that if he was being honest. Viktor almost felt sorrow at the idea of leaving his apartment behind, he’d gotten so lucky being able to find something so close to the academy and so accommodating that he’d fallen in love with the place somewhat. After cleaning up any messes in the apartment and straightening his pile of boxes he finally sat down and waited for Jayce to show up and help.

It wasn’t long until Jayce arrived with all smiles and excitement pouring from him. 

“Are you ready?” “Ready” Viktor nodded

Jayce paused to look around the room, he was glad the other had this apartment despite a couple of setbacks like those stairs, but he was more grateful that he was going to be moving him somewhere he didn’t have to worry about that any longer. He started picking up the boxes with ease and moving them out. It didn’t take long until the room was empty of Viktor’s things and he was leaving the room behind one last final time. He locked the door and followed Jayce down the stairs, the office was a little house connected to the apartment building, all he had to do was go outside and over to it to return keys. “Do you have the set of keys I gave you?” Viktor asked. “Yeah, let me grab them for you” Jayce replied as he set the boxes he was carrying down into a moving truck. He fondled his pockets for a moment before pulling out a set of keys and handing them over to Viktor. “Thank you darling” spoke Viktor as he made his way over to the office “I’ll be right back” 

Jayce watched from the back of the moving truck as Viktor made his way to the office and back taking maybe 10 minutes all together as he apparently had to sign some paperwork as well finalizing his moving out.

It wasn’t long until the two of them were packed up and on their way to their new home, Viktor wondered how Jayce was going to move everything in on his own as he assumed they didn’t have any extra help. “You’re really putting in the extra work aren’t you” Viktor spoke up.

“What do you mean?” Jayce replied, concentrating on getting them home safe.

“How do you intend to move all of the things in the back of this truck on your own?” “Oh that” Jayce chuckled, “I have some cousins coming to help, dont worry about it” 

“Oh” Viktor responded, he wasn’t sure what to do with that information even tho it was good. He’d never met any of Jayce’s family, not even his mother at this point and was a little nervous to meet her now. Soon enough they arrived to their new home and there were a few people already waiting, and Viktor could tell immediately they were related to Jayce. The three men standing waiting all seemed to be in good physique and had the same tanned skin that Jayce did. Viktor couldn’t help but blush a little at the sight of them all. Jayce quickly took hold of their attention and they were quickly busying themselves with boxes and furniture moving it into the home. Viktor kicked back and watched everything happen as he really wouldn’t be of any help at this point.

Less than two hours had passed and everything had been moved into the home at this point, Viktor wandered in and looked around at all the boxes that would need unpacking and wondered if they should start unpacking now or leave it to later. 

“I promised the boys food for helping” came Jayce suddenly, almost reading his mind, “Do you want to come out with us or would you rather stay here?” 

Viktor considered it for a moment before answering “I think I’ll stay behind, there’s still lots to do.

“If you’re sure, just don’t strain yourself okay?” “I’m sure, and I wont I promise” Viktor replied. Almost as quickly as they came Jayce and the boys left to go and get food leaving behind Viktor and the house. This was okay with Viktor though as he was feeling the need to lay down, he made his way to the master bedroom and was shocked to see a larger bed than he was used to. He’d been sleeping on his full size bed for so long that he didn’t consider that there might be larger beds, but a king size seemed so space inefficient. He slowly made his way over and sat on the edge before lifting up his legs and laying spread out on the bed not even able to touch both sides. He sighed softly before closing his eyes and resting.

—

It was almost time for Viktor to have his body back to himself, nearly 9 months had passed and he’d been on bedrest for two of those much to his arguing. He made sure that Jayce went to the lab to work and gave him space as he really wasn’t doing much other than laying about and getting a lot more sleep then he’d ever been used to, in between getting kicked in the ribs of course. Viktor anxiously spent his days waiting for signs, any little cramp was timed. Jayce also anxiously spent his days waiting for signs from the other, he’d made sure to pack a go back for him just in case he needed it. It wasn’t until late at night that Viktor, who hadn’t been able to sleep, was cramping every so often for about the same time that he became suspicious. His water hadn’t yet broken which was keeping him from waking Jayce. Quietly he made his way out of bed and over to a large exercise ball, sitting on it and catching his balance before slowly bouncing on it. Something the midwife he’d spoken to shared might be helpful. He had both his hands on his back steading himself as he bounced. It did oddly help him feel like he could get through the cramping a little easier. Jayce woke up feeling the absence of his partner and lifted his head to see the other bouncing away. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I think so, just some cramping” “Have you been timing them?” “Yes, they’re getting closer together, it might be close to time, but until my water breaks I’m just trying to ride through them..” 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jayce propped himself up in bed. “Actually yes, do you remember when you held my belly weight in the past for me?? That’d be fantastic right now” Viktor commented. Jayce hopped out of bed and stood behind Viktor as he stopped bouncing on the ball, he gently scooped up his belly and pulled upwards and back, steadying Viktor against his body as well as holding up some of the weight of his belly.

A loud sigh escaped Viktor’s lips, “Thank you, just like that”. He nuzzled his head back against Jayce’s pecs and closed his eyes a little bit trying to relax. 

“Of course, anything for you” Jayce replied, kissing the top of the other’s head. “I’m so anxious for this to be over,” Viktor sighed “I want my body back” “I know darling,” was all Jayce could think to say, “Soon”

Viktor stifled a groan at a particularly sharp cramp, “Can you move in small circles?” “Mmhm” Jayce did as instructed and held the other’s belly up and moved in small circles for him, granting another soft sigh of relief. Viktor slowly started to bounce on the ball again in movement with Jayce’s hold. “I think they are subsiding for now, it might be a good idea to try and sleep again” Viktor mentioned after a little while. Jayce leaned down and kissed his head again and down his neck a little. “If you’re sure” he responded. He gently helped Viktor up from the ball and back to bed where they laid together, Jayce’s hand making its way to his belly, rubbing in small circles and up and down his stretch marks. Viktor sighed in relief when he laid on his back and was massaged by the other. His massages always felt good, but this even more so. He cuddled up close to Jayce and tucked his head under his chin and tried closing his eyes to sleep. Jayce continued to hold him close and rub his belly hoping to lul him back to sleep. 

A couple hours more and the sun began to peak into their bedroom. Viktor had actually gotten a little bit of sleep but was once again woken up to being kicked by an active baby. He gently nudged Jayce and called his name to which the other woke immediately. “What is it? Is it time?” “No, not quite yet, but I was hoping you could help me nonetheless” Viktor chuckled softly.

“Of course, what do you need my love?” “Just something to eat, something small” “Would a pancake or two be sufficient?” Jayce questioned “Sure” Viktor replied. Jayce quickly made his way up and out of bed and to the kitchen to make food leaving Viktor alone in the bedroom. He slowly made his way out of bed and back to the exercise ball feeling like it might help calm the baby if he bounced a little. “Oof, if you are this active why dont you just come now little one?” Viktor spoke as he bounced softly. As if on queue his water broke mid-bounce. “Uh….oh well then” Viktor stumbled a little. “JAYCE” he quickly called for the other. “It’s time!!” 

There was rustling in the kitchen before Jayce came rushing back to their bedroom. “Did you just say-” “It’s time! It’s time! My water just broke, we should probably go” Viktor tried not to let the anxiety get to him. 

Jayce quickly grabbed the go back they’d prepared and gently helped Viktor to his feet and out the door. He’d clean up the mess later, it was more important to get going than anything. Jayce was quickly on the phone with a cab company arranging a pickup for them and they were shortly out the door and rushing to the hospital. “How are you doing Viktor?” Jayce asked as Viktor huffed through waves of cramps again.

“I think everything’s alright so far, I don’t think I’ll be giving birth in this car” Viktor replied. 

It wasn’t long until the cab had them at the hospital and Jayce was running in to grab a wheelchair for Viktor as he got out of the cab with a little assistance of holding onto the door. Once seated and adjusted in the wheelchair Jayce pushed him in quickly to the hospital to check him in. Seeing as the other was in labor they pushed him in quickly to a room and started setting him up to a handful of things including fluids. Viktor wasn’t a stranger to being poked and prodded so he didn’t much mind, it was almost a comfort for him at this point. When being given the option of an epidural over gas he chose the gas as his back was already a center point of problems and he didn’t want anything affecting that.

It was a relief for him to get changed out of his clothing and into a hospital gown, thankfully the go bag had a change of clothing for him for later. He knew things may feel a little invasive during this whole process and was trying to prepare himself for that as well as the reality that he was going to have to push out their child, and soon. Viktor began to hyperventilate a little, his thoughts going miles per hour. Jayce slowly approached him and reached out to rub his shoulders. “You’re going to be alright, you can do this, I’ll be here the whole time” he reassured Viktor. 

Nurses came in and out to check on Viktor and one even brought him an exercise ball like he’d had at home for him to bounce on per request. He’d felt a little better doing something other than sitting around, and anything that took the weight off his legs helped too. He’d bounce and drink in the gas through a mask as he rode through cramps, groaning at the really bad ones. It wasn’t until he was asked to lay back so that they could check his dilation that he realized it was getting close to time to push. “9 cm” Said a nurse, “you’re so close, just a little more and you’ll be having this baby in no time”  Viktor was getting impatient, he wanted his body back and wanted to be over these cramps.

Jayce sat patiently in the corner of the room, only coming close when asked for, he didn’t want to be overly doting if he was going to be in the way. Viktor lay back in the hospital bed cursing in another language under his breath. It wasn’t until he looked over and made eye contact with his partner that Jayce moved in close and took his hand. “I’m here” he said, holding onto Viktor gently but firmly. 

“You got me into this, you’re helping me through it too” “But of course! Whatever you need” 

“The nurse said I’m almost there, I’m going to have to push soon, and I just need you here” 

It wasn’t much longer that a nurse returned with a doctor and they were taking a look at Viktor again. Viktor hated how violated he felt whenever they came over, his legs wide open in stirrups on the bed, but it was what it was for the situation he was in. He just had to try to make the best of it. “Okay are you ready?? I need you to start pushing” the doctor spoke suddenly to him “What? Already?” “Already, give me a good one in 3, 2-” Viktor wasn’t sure exactly how to give a good push but tried to listen to his body, he couldn’t help but cry out, grasping Jayce’s hand a little tighter. 

“Good good, just keep at it like that, we’re going to try to do this timed, Breathe, Push, Breathe, Push, do you understand? “ Viktor nodded and groaned, trying to breathe between the pushes as instructed. He almost wished for the epidural over the gas as now that he was actually pushing they’d taken it away from him. Jayce stood beside him, holding his hand and rubbing his back with the other. “You’ve got this Viktor” he praised.

It was perhaps 45 minutes of struggling, breathing hard and pushing when the entirety of a new person slipped out of Viktor, making him gasp and cry out. It wasn’t long before his own cry was drowned by the cry of their newborn. Viktor collapsed against the bed and tried to catch his breath. Jayce just looked starry eyed at him and the baby who was cleaned up quickly and brought over to Viktor to hold. “I dont know that I can-” he was starting to say when the baby had been thrust into his arms. “What is it?” Jayce looked up at the doctor. “You’ve got yourselves a beautiful baby girl” 

Jayce just smiled and looked back at Viktor, who was giving the baby skin to skin, seemingly calming it.

“Abigail” Viktor suddenly spoke looking up at Jayce. “I want her to be known as Abigail Talis” Jayce just smiled and nodded, not wanting to argue with Viktor after the effort he just went through to bring her into their world.

“I should let my mother know”, Jayce said as he pulled his phone out. “Do you mind if I take a picture of you two?” “Like this??” “Why not?” “I’m sweaty and half naked, she’s not had a bath herself yet” “You’re perfect, the both of you” Jayce said as he reached up with his phone and took a quick snap of them, he turned his phone to show Viktor. “....I suppose that’s not bad” He said as he continued to hold Abigail close, sighing and sitting back against the bed. Jayce sent the photo to his mother who quickly texted him back in excitement asking when she could visit to which Jayce replied once they were home they could take visitors but right now they wanted to be just themselves at the hospital. It wasn’t long until a nurse was checking in with them again and this time asking if Viktor has tried feeding the baby yet. Viktor flushed a little and shook his head, he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with an audience to which the nurse shook her head a little. “I can give you more privacy if you like, but you should really try, and if you’re having trouble let us know, we’re here to help after all”  

She left after that, leaving Jayce and Viktor alone in the room with their baby. Viktor frowned a little at being told to try to breastfeed but knew that the nurse was probably right. His breasts did develop some during the pregnancy and weren’t as small as they’d been previously. Slowly he unwrapped the maternity gown enough to open it and stick the baby’s head in close. He gasped when she latched on almost immediately. Jayce just watched and took more pictures when he could, texting back and forth with his mother and family now who were excitedly congratulating them. It wasn’t until Viktor began to sob that Jayce stepped closer, “What is it?”

“She’s just so perfect” he choked out as he continued to feed his eager baby.

Jayce reached down and wiped away Viktor’s tears. “ I couldn’t agree more”

[kerosene-saint]

everything I've ate today was extremely disappointing and I'm not happy about it

[magnusmodig]

rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !

╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.

So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)

Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)

The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.

[bitterlyromantic]

reading old fics i wrote in 2021 and really seeing that this one i was trying to write was SO Hannigram-Without-It-Being-Hannigram . ...... . serial killer who is an artist meets a cannibal who also owns dogs . victims are bad people. they have mutual friends and eventually when they get together the serial killer has nightmares of eating his partner.

[yemmuis]

thinking about roommate!choso, who, after fucking you for the first time, decides its the only thing he likes anymore.

besides spending time with you, and watching movies with you, and smoking with you.

you know those “physical needs, physiological needs, spiritual needs” pyramids you learn about in highschool? yeah, chosos goes fucking you in bed, fucking you in his car, fucking you on the bathroom counter, fucking you on the couch, and then—and only then—comes eat, sleep, drink.

he cant stop himself. i mean, really—when you’re walking around with your ass practically hanging out of your shorts, tight shirt with no bra underneath, how can you blame him for bending you over the nearest surface and barely taking the time to pull your panties off? (he doesn’t, just pushes them to the side or pulls them down enough to expose your wet cunt. just for his stupidly big cock to bully into your cervix as usual.)

and how can you blame him, when hes so sweet to you when hes quite literally pounding you over the back of the couch? all that comes out of his mouth is “i’m sorry, baby, ‘m sorry, but you know how i get when you tease me” and “i love you, thank you” over and over and over until hes pumping you full of his cum and then dropping to his knees to watch while he stuffs you full of his fingers to make sure you cant fake cummin’ for him.

so what, he’s a little anxious. what is he if he cant please you, though?

and maybe he has a bit of a…disregard for protection. it just feels so much better when he isnt hindering himself with a condom, obviously!

and maybe he likes watching you drool into his chest when hes done with you; watching his nut ooooze out of your cunt and make a mess wherever hes fucked you this time.

sure, you scold him after every time— “you gotta use protection next time, cho, i don’ wanna get pregnant.” you grumble, even while your lips are locked with his and just by his half-lidded eyes and dilated pupils you know hes not quite done with you yet.

deep down, you know maybe you wouldn’t mind having chosos babies.

not that you’ll tell him that. he’s very weak to your suggestions, and you don’t know what you’d do if he got it in his head that he wanted to marry you and pump you full of his kids.

…maybe you two should have a talk on where this whole roommates-to-fuckbuddies thing is going.

note :: i have something big in the works i proooommmyyy i jus need 2 find the time 2 write ☹️☹️ soon u shall have ur fix my babies i promise

[nezuscribe]

you’re glad to have a friend like arranged!gojo, it feels good to have somebody to talk to and listen to. you feel nice being able to laugh with somebody and not apologize for the awful jokes or strange things you say. but sometimes you have to stop yourself from getting attached, reminding yourself that he won’t care for you like that.

and though that’s the farthest from the truth, it’s what you’ve convinced yourself. so when your birthday comes around, you decide to celebrate the way you always have, alone.

he’s your friend, not a husband, so you don’t see any need in dragging him into this ordeal.

you bake a little cake for yourself a couple day in advance, just like you used to at your old home. you stash it away for when night rolls around and it’s just yourself, you can enjoy it the way you have for years.

when you were little you would gawk and stare at the lavish parties your father and his wife threw for your sisters, the balls and the presents growing bigger and bigger the more they grew up. you’d mimic their behaviors on your own, dressing up in the best dress you had (a hand me downs from your older sister that never fit quite right) and pretended you too were surrounded by a room of people as they watched you eat cake.

and sure, when you were younger you’d feel embarrassed eating by yourself surrounded by drawings of people you’d prop up on chairs, but it’s become tradition now (not the drawings, you realize now how depressing that must’ve looked).

so the night of your birthday you take the cake you had hidden in the back of the ice den out, bringing it to the corner of the kitchens where the cooks kept the little table for themselves and began cutting into it, cursing yourself for freezing it too long.

you serve yourself a piece, hunching over your plate as you dug in with your fork, eating in silence.

you write a little note for the cooks to enjoy the rest of it as you place it back in the den once you were done, going back to your room for the night.

the following day when you were walking around the library looking for something new you spot gojo talking to one of his advisors, his eyes focused and his tilted slightly as he gave him all of his attention.

you pause, holding back until you were sure they were done with their conversation to reveal yourself from behind one of the looming bookshelves, watching as the advisor bowed his head to you before he left.

the crease between his eyebrows relaxes, his eyes softening when you waved at him, your smile gleaming.

“i didn’t see you for breakfast,” he tells you as he walks over to where you were standing, pushing some of his hair back as you grin apologetically.

“i slept in,” you admit sheepishly, tired from last night as you play with your fingers, “i also might’ve been a little snippy with alina when she tried to wake me up.”

gojo snorts, absentmindedly pulling some books out and putting them back in as he rests his side on the wall of binded pages.

“baking?” he asks simply, knowing you well enough to know that the only reason you’d miss breakfast would be because you spent the majority of the night in the kitchens.

“how’d you know?” you tease, crossing your arms over your chest as he tsks, his fingers picking some stray leaves from your head from earlier when you were walking through the gardens.

“i help whisk the butter and sugar when you don’t feel like it. i don’t know why you keep me out of the kitchens,” he murmurs petulantly and you chuckle a little bit, rolling your eyes at his antics.

“it’s for your own sake,” you tell him, a glimmer in your eyes that he’d chase around the world the see, “and besides, i wasn’t baking. i was enjoying the fruits of my previous labor.”

gojo squints a little bit, confused. usually you eat what you make the night of, sometimes bringing a plate by his room if it’s not too late.

“when else did you bake this week without me?” he asks, trying to mask his hurt with a playful grin, trying to recall the times he heard back from one of his guards that you were down in the kitchens.

“only a few days ago, when i trying to assemble the cake.” you say with a shrug. his mouth opens in shock, a pout on his lips as he averts your gaze.

“you had cake? without me?” he almost whines it out and you shove his boot with the point of your shoe, trying to calm him down.

who would’ve thought the most fearsome warrior of the north, hell, the entire kingdom, would have such a sweet-tooth?

“it was small,” you try to reason, “and you wouldn’t have liked the flavors. it’s a recipe from the west.”

gojo groans, stepping closer to you as he gently flick your nose, watching the way you’d scrunch it up in annoyance.

“but you know i love cake,” he murmurs, “and you said you’d only bake it for birthdays…you lied to me,” his pink lips pull into a pout, one that you want to kiss off his gorgeous face, and control yourself from letting the heat get too much in your cheeks.

“well,” you quirk a brow, “if it helps, it was for a birthday.”

gojo looks up from the ground, brows furrowed once again in confusion.

“mine?” he says a little hopefully, as if it was anywhere near his birthday.

you snort, shaking your head as your finger pokes itself in your chest.

“mine…you idiot,” you mutter under your breath, wondering how somebody how his caliber could be so daft.

but he doesn’t seem to find it funny, in fact, his brows seem to meet in the middle, the pout gone form his lips as he frowns.

“what do you mean yours? your birthday isn’t for…? isn’t it in…?” he tries to think, think back to when your birthday was, only to realize he didn’t know, to realize he’d never asked you about it, always assuming it’d be something told to him.

“it’s nothing big,” you try to say quickly to cover up the awkwardness, “i usually just make myself a cake and get it over with.” you say with a chuckle but he’s not finding anything about this humorous.

great, you think bitterly to yourself, said something else and fucked it up. you wince, wishing you’d just stayed quite.

“your birthday was yesterday?” gojo asks, his voice hushed and heavy. he looks like he cares, he looks sad. you find it unnerving.

“i,” you laugh uncomfortably, fidgeting with your ring as you swallow thickly, “i think so...? i eyeball the day every year.”

truth be told you done really know what day you were born. your father never remembered the exact date seeing how the nature of his relationship with your mother was so secretive, and nobody ever found the true date out. so usually you find a date each year that you think matches with what time season you were born with and go with that.

gojo feels like his heart has slowed, watching the way you shrink into yourself the way he notices you’d i when you feel like you’ve done something wrong.

“eyeball?” he bites out and you wince at his tone, and he wishes he could take it back and start over again without the bite of a general in his words.

“look gojo it’s nothing, really,” you insist, waving him off as you try to escape, shifting around so you were closer to the doorway, “it’s just a day, it’s nothing important,” you tell him reassuringly.

but he doesn’t believe you, running a hand down his face as he pinches at the bridge of your nose.

“why do you write these things off as if they’re not important?” his voice is deep, echoing around the walls of the vast library as your hold your breath, “why don’t you-”

“because it’s not important,” you say again, your voice a little bit harsher, “it’s just a day.”

his eyes drown in blue, dark and wavering like the shoreline.

“then why bake a cake?” he snaps, not in anger but in genuine questioning, and your face falls a little.

maybe because years ago you thought it was something important. maybe because you want that little girl to feel like she matters.

he gapes, knowing he said something wrong, but can’t speak.

“i…” you open your mouth then close it again, looking away from him as you shrug, “i have to go, i - um, shoko asked for me.” you lie lamely, not caring as you bow your head down slightly to him before you briskly leave.

and maybe if you turned back you could see the way his face fell too.

but with all the maybes you’ve told yourself no to, you’ve grown accustomed to the belief that every maybe wouldn’t have a chance of becoming something.

because maybe if you had actually told him the truth when you wanted to a couple days ago, that you’d like to celebrate with him, he wouldn’t shut you down the way you’d imagined he would and maybe he would’ve said yes.

but for now you convince yourself that this man is a friend who pretends like he cares. because never once have you heard of a man caring so deeply for somebody that he’d shed a tear over the fact that you’d celebrate your birthday alone. but then again, you’ve never met a man like gojo before.