#until i can't
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All day long I have been oscillating wildly between two feelings: one, feeling like I'm actually pretty okay without a boyfriend/partner for now and even the rest of my life, I'm pretty chill living alone, I'm independent, I'm enjoying myself, not super depressed...and two, feeling desperately alone, that I wish someone could wake up next to me and dote on me, remind me to do the things I need to do and just be there for me in case I needed them to be, without being asked and is it that crazy to want that?
I can do both of those independently. I have in fact experienced them independently. But can my brain just PICK ONE?
#I will say part of this comes from the fact that living alone when you have adhd fucking sucks#I have to depend on myself to remember to do things#and without the structure of a job it is FUCKING AGONIZING#I constantly forget stuff#just zone out#then feel terrible for zoning out#I haven't been writing as much lately because I just feel like no one is interested#I do things for myself and for my own enjoyment#until I can't#and it sucks because I DO like being independent!#I'm not even sure I want to get married#but being alone is so crippling when all you have is your own highly dysfunctional brain#someone send help
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I need to believe what I need to believe in order to get by I don't always actually believe what I believe Because separately, I can remember That I just need to believe what I need to believe In order to get by Even if I don't
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forgive and forget? wrong. charged two-handed heavy attack with my greatsword of resentment
#the shit i'm being put through at the moment is absolutely insane#can't make it up#but I finally get the chance to be righteously resentful.#you never know how easy it is to get gaslit until you've been there#shut up lea
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things i learned today:
solas could've avoided this whole mess and probably had enough free time to take lavellan on a nice little date if he just took up archdemon hunting instead of all the rituals and the other dastardly deeds
lucanis won't romance rook if they go to minrathous but will romance neve because despite saying he's cool, he's not cool
everyone's nice and no one has slaves or anything because *checks forearm* the blight
all your companions get along with you and each other because also the blight
even though he's like, really manipulative and uses people all the time, solas accumulated but then gave up an entire army's worth of spies and agents because he decided he wasn't ready for a management position
red lyrium isn't really around because—and you are not gonna believe this—the blight
solas just lies. all the time, outright, to everyone. so I guess he was actually only super careful to not ever actively lie in Inquisition as like a fun little challenge to himself
tying the veil to his life force (you know, the guy who couldn't even take down an archdemon on his own and actually just got his ass beat so is not in great shape in the best ending) fully repaired the veil! \o/ don't ask how you wouldn't understand it it's not a big—
everyone near minrathous is cured of the blight! but @ everyone else you may be entitled to compensation 🥀
the only ritual solas has ever gotten or will ever get right is cleansing the idol into the ritual dagger. good thing too bc it was way more dangerous than this one. other than that, wrong about everything ever
elven magic is like not that big a deal, dude
the griffons are, unfortunately, long-term fucked
the elves don't see the crossroads differently anymore because uh.. because....... war
spite does not get involved in rookanis sexytimes. so perhaps him spreading his wings was actually just in preparation to leave bc ew they're kissing gross
NO ONE cares about the goddamn spirits
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dav spoilers#dragon age critical#bioware critical#solas#lucanis dellamorte#fucking hell that ama made me take up smoking#just kidding i already can't breathe but emotionally i'm lighting up#ooh fic idea in an effort to get spite out rook and lucanis fuck so so nasty until spite cant take it anymore and jumps into a pig or whate#for posterity.. this is a brief summary of the bioware devs' reddit AMA on 12/4#(the salt is an aftermarket addition)
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the real reason gale proposes so quickly
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#galemance#gale dekarios#tav#morgueweave#until then they are Courting#this is the closest cyra is capable of getting to a joke#she's a woman who knows what she wants and it's to fuck that wizard forever#i need a name for them so i can tag them properly but i can't come up with one. can't use 'blood' bc that's stepping on bloodweave#idk why but gale's camp clothes are so endearing to me#his little velvet pyjamas with the embroidery. comfiest man in the camp#at cons i've met 2 separate gales in pyjamas with a nightcap and a lamp and they GET IT
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Passed by a woman with one of those double-stroller things with a small baby in the top container and about ~2-year-old in the bottom one, and overheard her conversation with the toddler.
"Baby."
"Yes, we've got the baby right here."
"Baby :c"
"The baby is right here sweetie, above you in the carrier."
"Onni. :c"
"Baby Onni is right here. He's still with us sweetie."
"Baby. :c"
"Darling I can't put him down there with you. He's safe in his own seat."
"Baby. :C"
(Onni is a finnish male name, which means "luck", "fortune", and "happiness", in the sense of being perfectly content, wanting and needing nothing that one does not already have.)
#me and my sister were enemies from day 1#and this sweet small child who is ALSO BABY#just goes “if I can't see my baby brother right now I am going to complain until I do >:C”
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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favorite hobby when I'm driving is to catch someone trying to climb up my back bumper while I'm going a completely reasonable speed and just slowly take my foot off the gas. you seem upset, brother. why don't we slow down and enjoy the view awhile
#if you won't maintain enough space to stop if I have to slam on brakes then I will just have to go slow enough that it won't kill us both.#kisses 💜#goes double if you have your brights on#some guy tried to tailgate me with brights on in the rain at night a while ago and I was like beloved we are going 20 until you stop that.#like at that point it's not even spite it's literally that I can't see to safely go any faster than that#lights off back off go around or accept the pace I've set for us#I don't like driving. also.
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Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#fatphobia#fatphobia tw#also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them?#because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!!#also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled.#there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories#for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually!#because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're...#...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being...#...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience
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ace detective more like ace DEFECTIVE
#I HATE THIS BITCH SM HES GENUINELY SO FUN TO DRAW FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭#bro idk if the first one makes sense to anyone else. 😔 get it cause like akechi is in the siu so he techincally works for the government 😔#i finished shido's palace again and cried like a bitch because of him so im back to drawing persona again im so sorry everyone#my brother deleted persona from the steamdeck i play on and idk how to redownload it so i cant touch the game until christmas now 🫶🏼#i drew a lot over break actually i've just been going back and coloring a few of the sketches i did#idk how ppl draw everyday aren't u exhausted 😭#anyway hope faggotron 6000 dies in the royal version too i can't stand him#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#UHHHH ren is here so i'll tag him#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#goodnight everyone im so tired#i need winter break to come faster.........
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there's no way he said that so confidently
|| Bonus ||
#i know he probably can't help it but dang#this is exactly the kind of thing that sends me#i just know i wouldn't be able to contain myself#i would laugh until i pass out#y/n should teach him how to spell#my art#fanart#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#fnaf dca#fnaf security breach#fnaf#fnaf sb#dca fanart#fnaf sun#moon
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You keep telling yourself that Namari.
#dungeon meshi#Namari#Kiki Tansu#kikimari#lets fill that tag!#Originally I wanted to just draw the twins in their gnome outfits.#But then I spent 2 hours listening to Mika's Big Girl and I was like “You're so right singer-songwriter Mika. I have to draw Namari”#Anyways I've been practicing with diversifying body shapes as part of my art studies and I really enjoy it!!!#I can't wait until Tade shows up so I can draw more big girls.#By the way - since a lot of people have recently gotten into Dungeon Meshi and finished the manga#Please let me bring your attention to the Adventurers Bible! It's filled with so many extra character focused comics and lore!#We love canon bisexual Namari and the situationship she has with Kiki.#The manga itself doesn't really touch on romance in general but behind the scenes there is yearning. And leg pouches.
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well - webtoons is over, gang
#sci speaks#if everyone would please just read the blog at it's intended home on tumblr#and please stop getting me to waste my energy on all these other sites that i hate then that would be primo wonderful#tapas and webtoons are actual shitholes. convenient to read sure whatever. but i hate the format anyway#and how they treat their creators.#not to mention the way tapas gamifies their interface so you're like on a fucking gambling site?? like if temu were a webcomic service?#what happened to the internet being a free and fun place for anyone to post anything.#noo. copyright laws because we want to make money we can't just host anything out of the spirit of fun and freedom#what about the money??? what if we risk money??#internet used to be a better place. i hate the earth as it is right now. the internet is like a mine that corporations dug into.#and destroyed. right in front of my eyes.#it used to be a beautiful green pasture with wildlife roaming and now it has been flattened and turned into an ugly shopping mall.#the things i do for you guys who really. really wanted me to archive it somewhere else.#i''m not doing it anymore. it is here until tumblr dies or we all enentually die and all our efforts are lost to the sands of time.#nothing matters in a cosmic sense anyway. enjoy it while it's here.
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dndads s1 you're so special to me
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#henry oak#darryl wilson#glenn close#ron stampler#i can't draw ron seriously he is just Shapes#short hair henry is valid but that man doesn't shower do you think he's going to the barbers. he has a rat tail#also i drew that cardigan and didn't realise until after that it's the one i actually own asfgjfg#pre-trial timeline morgan is truly the dead wife of all time#ALSO i cannot take credit for the leaves in henry's hair but i can't remember where i saw it first#if i can get one person to do this stupid podcast i can die happy#this isn't an exaggeration. i think ep 1 is one of the funniest pieces of audio ever recorded#i've done it 4 times now i think and i just PISS every time
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When Schrodinger was talking about the cat in box that's both alive and dead, he was talking about Kalina. She's a goddess's familiar, she's a plague, she worked for Fantasy MI6, she died, she came back, she got rage stared, she snapped her own neck, she came back as the companion for a god borne from a Fantasy Mormon child's misplaced belief. She's alive and dead, good and evil. She worked tirelessly for 800 years towards one goal and then fucking abandoned it (maybe.) Her goddess thinks she can fix her. Her goddess's wife always hated her. She is everyone's problem at all times and holy shit is she a Problem. What a fucking legend.
#what a pussy#i can't not damnnit#i will make pussy kalina jokes until the day i fucking die#anyway what the fuck#like... seriously though#what is her fucking deal#like i say i want to know but i don't actually want to know#if you know what's going on in the box it's not Schrodinger's cat anymore#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#kalina
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