#until he declared his name in that moment to the cyclops

[you-oughta-see-the-odyssey]

I’ve seen some people say that people unfamiliar with The Odyssey were confused at the beginning of the Wisdom Saga, thinking that Telemachus was young Odysseus if they were just listening to the songs instead of watching animatics. That Telemachus should’ve had a moment that established his name.

And while yes, I do think that’s valid, I also remember another character who didn’t have his name established for awhile: *Odysseus.* Our protagonist’s name wasn’t spoken until the end of the Cyclops Saga, when he declared it to Polyphemus in a fit of grief and rage.

I believe Telemachus will also have a moment like that, just like his father. Either boldly declaring his name to Antinous, or perhaps being named when he reunites with Odysseus (Odysseus singing the familiar “Telemachus…” as he holds his son in his arms). I think the lack of establishing his name early on was intentional, just like Osysseus’, to make the moment when he is named more impactful.

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #28: The Last

Prompt: vainglory || Master Post || On AO3

What creature could stand before the might of a dragon? They are children of wind and flame and aether, fierce and mighty, the unchallenged rulers of all they survey. Dragonsong rings from every corner of the land.

The metal beings, machines, that descend from the heavens, flatting mountains and felling forests to build their bases and factories of black iron, at first seem as ants despite their own abilities. Claw and fang and fire end them. But they learn, these things, and perhaps worse: they reproduce quickly, quicker than dragons. The spindly drones are replaced by heavy, many-limbed soldiers, by hulking cyclops, by great beetles that outfly the swiftest of flying dragonkin.

For every omicron that falls, five more take its place.

Dragons cannot beget eggs so quickly, nor can their hatchlings grow so fast.

Dragons are mighty. Dragons are fleet of foot and wing, and clever of mind. Dragons are proud.

But dragons die.

And dragons are dying faster than machines, and the star dies with them, swallowed by black iron, skies polluted and waters poisoned, the dragonsong fading from the heavens.

He is the greatest of his kin, his mane of fire a war banner and declaration. He has clashed and clashed again with the greatest of the omicron, their Omega, but Omega cannot be truly slain, merely defeated, and so more and more often their battles are for the purpose of distraction. To take the field is to draw Omega’s attention, and it allows his siblings and cousins to retreat, to evacuate hatchlings, to do whatever is needed to try and live one more day.

They cannot fight forever. They are dying.

Some go to sleep and do not wake up again. Some let apathy take them while waking, and they whither. Some throw themselves at the omnicrons, their goal only to take as many with them as possible.

Some do the unspeakable to their own hatchlings, unwilling to let the omicrons or the diseased star take them first.

He is a warrior. He is expected to fight until the last.

But there are seven eggs carefully tucked into his nest. And he will not do to them what some of kin say he should.

Dragons are dying, and he will not be the last.

Their last stronghold is falling. Even as destruction rains down on the last bastion of dragonkind, he carefully gathers his precious eggs in his clawed forelegs, tucking them close to his chest.

His sister, the last of his nestmates, finds him as he prepares to leave their accursed world. She stares at him for long moments, but offers no condemnation, and instead reaches forward to touch her muzzle to his. For a moment, they allow themselves the luxury to breathe in one another’s scents for a final time.

Go, she says. Live.

Omega bursts through the smoke and smog, and his sister throws herself at the machine with a roar even as he throws himself skyward. Not all of their fellows have yet fallen, and their warsongs name him craven. But her song is instead a dirge, for herself and for her kin and for her star, but entwined in that too is her hope that the memory of them all will not fade entirely. The echo of it follows him into the black of the void, until nothing but silence remains.

He wraps his aether tightly around himself, strongest around his precious cargo. Distantly, he can sense his great enemy giving chase, but his sister gave her life to ensure he had opportunity, and opportunity he does not waste.

He flies for a long, long time.

There are many stars he passes. The first ones crawl with omicrons. Others are dead, others in the process of dying. Many have songs infected by a strange, awful note of discordance twining through their aether.

He sings to himself, and to his eggs. He forgets the name his dam granted him, but he finds he cannot bring himself to mourn it. He forgets the name of his sister, and that brings him grief. But he sings, and at least the language of dragons shall endure in some manner.

The fire of his mane has long been extinguished when he comes to a new star in the void. Its song is piecemeal, as if it is missing key harmonies, and there is a newness to its people despite the age of the core that speaks of past tragedy. But there is a spark here, of potential, its song ringing with something he barely recognizes at first.

The star’s heart flies out to meet him.

Her Light is a balm after so long in darkness, and She reaches out to gently cradle his weary head in Her hands.

Well met, winged wanderer, She whispers. Thou hast traveled far from thy home. What trials have brought thee hence?

War, and death, he says. Mine home is lost and I am all that remains to sing its memory. But for the chance to see mine children hatched and grown, I have flown across infinity, pursued by a relentless foe. I beg of thee succor, that we may not be the last of the dragons.

Succor I grant to thee, Father of Dragons, the star’s heart replies. But in return, I must ask of thee a boon.

Once, a very long time ago, he would have bristled at such a demand, even from a goddess. A boon, from a dragon? From him, greatest of them all?

But his pride is gone, and for his children he will do whatever is necessary to give them a future.

Name it, Divine Light.

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[chasingpj]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

pairing: percy jackson x child of zeus!reader and jason x older sibling!reader

requested: yes!

warning: two curse words, mentions of stealing, death of a parent, and i believe that is it!

category: headcanons, fluff

a/n: i may have gotten too carried away but... i had a lot of fun writing this haha. i hope you guys like it!

pre-relationship

you and percy invented the phrase power couple but coming together took a while

your relationship dynamic would be very similar to thalia and percy's at first

you're both natural-born leaders, so you guys butt heads very often

you're more calculated and organized when it comes to things and percy being impulsive really annoyed you

he's lucky that even though he is impulsive, things somehow always work out in the end

if it wasn't for annabeth urging you guys to get along, you probably would still be at each other's neck

how did she get you guys to get along, you may ask?

she locked you guys in a storage closet :)

and said figure it out ♡

this happened after a friendly sparring practice turned into a full-on fight with your powers

annabeth insisted she wouldn't let you guys out until you declared to be friends

at the time, you were like, percy will never be my friend, ew

percy was just as annoyed

after a good hour of bickering and resisting your urge to choke him out

you guys found that you had a lot in common, actually?

huh, who would have known?

apparently annabeth

you guys talked about your life outside of camp and bonded over the worst teachers you've ever had

turns out, percy wasn't that bad

you'd never admit that out loud though

after a while, you started to feel things

were percy's eyes always that pretty?

yes, they've always been

oh look, those freckles over his nose? adorable

did you just call Percy adorable? yeah, you did… gross

you tried to deny your attraction to him

you were pretty sure this was a cruel joke from aphrodite (it was… more for your dad's than for you guys, though)

then you started noticing changes in his behavior too

now you guys were sharing blankets at the campfire when it got chilly

he even shared the blue cookies his mother sent him too

that's when you should have known he was down bad

both of you have awful sleep schedules

you hated sleeping in cabin 1

it was clearly built not to be slept in, and every few days, you found yourself having late-night conversations with percy at the docks

once the harpies snuck up on you and percy told you to get in the water with him

you didn't know how to swim, and you were kinda horrified of open water

you wanted to refuse, but you were cornered on the docks

you either jumped or got eaten

the last thing you said was that you couldn't swim before percy didn't give you a choice

he grabbed your hand and jumped in

his arm wrapped around your waist to keep you in the air bubble he had made around you guys

at first, you didn't focus on it

too busy trying to defend yourself from his teasing

he continued to mimic the way you screamed when he dragged you into the water

"wow, you can fly, but you can't swim?"

you rolled your eyes, trying to defend yourself

you called him annoying, and he playfully threatened to let you drown

you guys joked and laughed, staying a little too long underwater

after your laughter ceased, you found yourself looking into his eyes

the both of you became quiet

suddenly his arm around your waist, the way your chests were pressed against each other made you horribly flustered

and you're not sure what you were thinking

actually, you weren't thinking at all, but you leaned in and kissed him

like really kissed him, it was a proper kiss

ahhhhhh!!!

probably would have kissed him longer if the water nymphs didn't giggle, exposing their little audience

once you pulled away, they scattered, ready to gossip about what they saw

the news made it to atlantis pretty fast

after the kiss, things were so awkward

you avoided him for days, and he avoided you

annabeth felt the tension, and she was upset because just when you guys were getting along, suddenly, you guys were avoiding each other

the battle of manhattan was approaching soon and the last thing anyone wanted was for you guys not to get along

you both avoided annabeth’s questions, not ready to confess what you guys had shared

eventually, annabeth kept pressing you about what happened

you blew up and admitted that you made out with percy in the water

annabeth was speechless before she burst into laughter

you didn't understand why it was so funny at first

but then you did

the both of you laughed until annabeth said that she wasn't surprised at all

the battle of manhattan comes around, and in the urgency of the moment, you guys were able to rise to the occasion

your movements, thoughts, commands were completely coordinated

you guys were an extension of each other, kicking ass

at the end, you were both offered immortality

the offer took you back to a conversation you guys had where you spoke about how you'd never want to be immortal

the both of you exchanged looks before you simultaneously denied the gift

zeus was offended x2

after that, you guys returned to camp half-blood

the both of you were upset at the campers you've lost and trying to recover from the adrenaline of battle

you and annabeth sang percy happy birthday and the three of you sat together and ate blue cake in a comfortable silence

weeks passed, and one day, you're met with annabeth barging into your cabin asking when you and percy are going to talk about your kiss

it was the last day of camp, and she was insistent on you talking to him

you reluctantly agreed, mainly because annabeth threatened to lock you in a storage closet again

you guys sat on the dunes in silence for a while

the both of you wanted to confess, but neither knew how to do it

after some silence, the both of you spoke at the same time

you stuttered over each other and then began bickering back and forth on who should go first until you blurted out that you like him

you cringed and looked away as percy froze in his spot

it was silent for a moment before percy whispered, "I like you too."

cue your second kiss

your teeth slightly bumping with his since the both of you were smiling so much

and you swore you heard thunder in the distance even though there were clear skies

relationship

you lived in a foster home on the other side of manhattan, so you guys saw each other every weekend

you guys went on movie dates, long drives, and you would sleep over pretty often

for the spooky season, you went to haunted houses and carved pumpkins

you watched horror movies together, teasing each other when one of you jumped and tried to cover your face during the scary parts

you went to his place for Thanksgiving and you arrived early so that the both of you could help sally cook all day

you and percy put blue food coloring on the mashed potatoes

for the first time ever, you felt like you were apart of a family since sally had welcomed you with open arms

everything was going great but then december came around

the last time you saw percy, you guys were christmas shopping for his mom

your last day of school ended a few days after his, so you planned to meet at CHB

but when you got there, you found out he never arrived

you called his home from the payphone in the big house

sally was relieved to hear from you, a part of her hoping he was with you

but you both found out that neither of you had heard from him in a few days

meeting jason

you and annabeth tried everything to find him

then you got a dream from hera that the answer to where percy is was with the guy with one shoe

you arrive and you find this blonde kid and not your boyfriend; you were kinda actually very annoyed

but this blonde kid felt familiar

you weren't sure what it was, and then you heard his name — Jason Grace

surely, it was a coincidence that he shared the name of your missing brother

you were too young to remember his disappearance

the only remembrance you had of him was a picture of the both of you as toddlers sitting happily beside thalia

you always wondered who was the little boy in the photo and it wasn't until a few years ago did thalia tell you about him disappearing

you were a bit wary of him at first, especially since he had no memory of where he came from

it wasn't until he conjured lightning with his sword, did you have no doubt in your mind that he was your brother

the first night you guys spent in the cabin together was awkward

you couldn't really catch up since he didn't remember anything, so you told him what thalia told you about him and your mother

you didn't reveal him everything, not wanting to overwhelm him and you had decided to call it a night before you went into detail

you explained the rest of the story after he came back from his quest

you tried to ask him questions hoping he’d remember more, but his memory wasn't coming back fast enough

both you and jason were growing frustrated, so one day you iris messaged thalia

the both of you came up with an idea to jog jason's memory by showing him things that he enjoyed as a toddler

jason was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but he went along with it

thalia recalled that the two of you really liked watching the flintstones as babies

so you and jason sat down and watched every season available on dvd

and well, it didn't work...

thalia also mentioned you both really liked sweets, so you tried to jog his memory with candy bars

you had to convince jason to sneak out of camp with you

he thought it was such a bad idea, but you reassured him he'd be fine

after reluctantly agreeing, jason and you escaped at night to buy actually steal candy bars from the closest gas station

jason panicked as he watches you shove candy bars in your sweatshirt

"we're gonna get caught"

"if you keep looking that scared, we just might," you replied a little too calmly

he tried to relax, but he just looked like he saw a ghost the entire time

on your way back, you may have electrocuted a harpy and fought a couple cyclops and all the fighting and running made you lose one of your snicker bars

you were upset, to say the least

unfortunately, after stuffing him with chocolate, that didn't work either

then you tried to show him the few pictures you were able to salvage before you were taken to the foster home after the death of your mother

jason sat in front of you on the floor as you pulled the box from under your bed

you smiled, finding an old picture of your mother, and you put it up to his face, taking in the similarities between the two

"yep, you look just like her," you confirmed as you smiled sadly

even though jason didn't know her, he felt a sense of pride when you had told him so

every time a memory would come back, you were the first person he told

when his memories with lupa came back, you were shook

and then you teased him, saying that he's basically a dog

once you threw a twig and told him to go fetch

he didn't find it as funny as you and leo did, but oh well

you also asked if he howled at full moons, and you were met with the straightest face you've ever seen on jason

it was the funniest thing ever to you

every week you guys kicked ass in capture the flag

you guys were more alike than you thought

it was guaranteed that whichever team you were on would win

in the months when the argo II was being built, you had a lot of times to bond with jason

your dynamic was really fun as you were a bit more rebellious and silly while he was a lot more responsible and mature

after the argo II departed

you reuniting with percy was something you thought about for months

you were so excited when the argo II was officially ready to fly over to camp jupiter

your pulse was thumping in your ears when you saw percy in the crowd

after months of worrying about where he was and if he was still alive, it was almost surreal to see him right in front of you

you lunged into him so hard, he stumbled back as you kissed him

just like your second kiss, the both of you were smiling so hard your teeth kept bumping against his

"i love your new look," you commented on his toga, and he snorted,

"yeah?"

"oh yeah, it's kinda hot."

the both of you laughed, content to be in each other's arms again

after getting on the argo II, you were the reason jason and percy formed some sort of a friendship

you were the mutual ground for the both of them since they had a soft spot for you

the tension between the two was something you couldn't disregard and you hated how weird it was at the beginning

if they butted heads, you tried to mend the problem

you understood both of them well enough to understand where they came from

at some point, you and annabeth thought it would be funny to lock them in a storage closet

so you did

they kept complaining to be let out but eventually, they gave in

little did they know that you were standing near the door and listening to their conversation

jason told him how you helped him a lot and all the ridiculous things you made him do

and percy shared stories of you from quests and at camp

the both of them laughed and bonded over having someone as amazing as you in their lives

"y/n is pretty great," percy smiles

"yeah, they are," jason agreed

needless to say, your heart warmed at the praise from your two favorite boys

masterlists taglist: @xxyrr @nct127bee @mochabreezeee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @Slytherclaw-kitten @-thatgirloverthere- @passionswift @nanskidoodle @idk-bye-no @ilikefluffygingercats @all-hailreyna @autmngirlworld @Sunkissedskin1328 @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @hajigayy @aleksanderwh0r3 @drayshadow @tonyedwardstarkk @londoncherry @ashookykooky @lotusnegra666 @loverstyless

[thetriggeredhappy]

I love your idea of scout bein born early. Would it be too much trouble for you to write abt him bein in the hospital? And maybe possibly spy findin out?

this feels like a slightly different angle than the prompt, anon, but in my defense that’s what always happens

(warnings for alcohol mention, non-graphic injury and briefly being in a hospital)

-

The phone rang three times before it was picked up, and Scout used all three of those rings to try and get his story straight in his head. Then it was picked up and a familiar and very pleasant voice said “Hey, this is Pauling,” and he wasted exactly zero seconds to start talking.

“Alright so I kinda need some help, Miss P,” he opened with, because frankly those were some cards he knew were gonna end up on the table no matter how he played this.

“What did you do?” she asked immediately, and fuck, she was on to him.

“I—listen, I didn’t even do anything.”

“What did you do?” she asked again.

“...So, okay, promise you won’t be mad.”

“I’m already mad, Scout. What did you do?”

Scout worked hard for about three seconds to figure out a good way to phrase the next few sentences. “...So I was just at this bar, right, and I was minding my own goddamn business—“

“Scout.”

“I was!” he said, a little defensive. “Seriously! And this guy sees me across the bar, and, y’know, figures out I’m one of those guys from the newspaper who keeps causing trouble—“

“Were you in uniform?” she asked dryly.

“Nah, but, uh, Soldier and Cyclops were there, and some of the other guys were there earlier, and Soldier had his stupid helmet on, so, y’know. Bunch of foreigners and some G.I. Joe lookin’ guy, wouldn’t be hard to piece it together. And most of the guys left, and Soldier and Demo walk off, and I’m left alone just finishing my drink before I head out, like ya do.”

“Like you do,” Miss Pauling hesitantly agreed.

“And this guy goes, hey, three dudes is a lot, but I could take this one guy. And he comes up to me, right, all like ‘Hey what’s up I’m a drunk dude who wants to get in a fight like an asshole’ and I’m like ‘Hey nah I’m good actually’ because like, I’m busy and that’s stupid, right?”

“Right,” Miss Pauling agreed. “Really stupid.”

“Right! So I’m like, ‘Hey, fuck off pal’ and he just takes a fuckin’ swing at me, and I’m like ‘Hey actually fuck this I already paid I’m just gonna get outta here’ and I try to leave, but the dude just like—just grabs me by the arm and breaks my fuckin’ wrist, and I knock my whole glass over because holy shit, and a whole fuckin’ brawl kicks off, right—?”

“So long story short you need me to pick you up from jail again,” Miss Pauling cut in, voice laced with heavy exasperation.

“Nah, bartender saw everything and I didn’t get in any trouble. I, uh. I need you to pick me up from the hospital, actually,” he said, glancing over his shoulder as a nurse wheeled a cart by.

“Scout.”

“Look, I would’a just headed back to base, but it was like two in the morning and Medic was probably asleep and the bartender guy was bein’ all nice about it and how am I supposed to tell him I’ve got this crazy German guy who fixes all my bones and shit and don’t gotta go to a real hospital?” he asked, a little defensive. “Then they wouldn’t let me leave unless someone drove me because I’ve got a cast on and can’t drive, and I figured I shouldn’t wake you up or whatever at like four in the morning, so, I ended up taking a nap on a bench, and now it’s like ten so I figured you wouldn’t be mad.”

“Well, I can’t drive you back to base—“

“Aww, what?” he whined.

“—because I’m currently in Japan on business.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s fair,” he admitted.

“But I’ll send someone to pick you up,” she said. “Be ready to go in two hours.”

“Sure thing. Who are you sending?” Scout asked.

“I’ll send Spy,” she replied, and kept talking before Scout could start to complain. “Look, maybe now you’ll learn not to get in bar fights.”

“Miss P, c’mon!” he whined.

“I’m sending him. Two hours,” Miss Pauling said, and hung up on him, at which point he sighed so hard he got looks from two nurses down the hall.

Spy pulled up in his nice shiny car an hour and forty-five minutes later, and gave him a look that immediately made him feel guilty even though it totally wasn’t his fault that he was in this situation. He shifted on his feet for a second before heading over to the car. Silence.

“Wanna sign my cast?” Scout joked.

“Just get in the car.”

He did, deciding that maybe further hilarious commentary wasn’t going to help him out this time. Silence for a second. 

He reached for the radio. Spy smacked his hand away. “Put on your seatbelt,” Spy said flatly, and Scout did, although it was a bit of a struggle one-handed, and they pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

About thirty seconds of quiet again before Spy broke it. “So you’re a hired mercenary, but one drunk man in a bar can break your arm?” Spy asked.

“Go to hell, Spy,” Scout mumbled.

“I just find it interesting is all,” Spy said, tone light. “That we apparently need to babysit you or else you’ll end up in the morning paper.”

“What?”

Spy reached down between his door and the seat and pulled forth a newspaper, which he promptly tossed into Scout’s lap. “Third page.”

Scout flipped the newspaper open and found that there was indeed an article there. A brawl at the bar, minor property damage, five people arrested and several more fined, two sent to the hospital. He wasn’t mentioned by name, but he did see himself in the background of the picture beside the title.

“You’d think you would have the awareness not to get caught in a... brawl, I believe they called it?” Spy asked.

“Hey, I keep my head on a swivel,” Scout defended, closing the newspaper and tossing it into the backseat. “Everything was fine until Cyclops and Helmet-Head ditched me.”

“Oh, I’m sure it was,” Spy hummed.

Scout frowned. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“No, I’m just certain that you’re giving the full unbiased truth, even though I theoretically have no way of verifying anything you say to me about what happened,” Spy shrugged, eyes on the road.

Scout frowned further. “You callin’ me a liar?”

“No, I’m calling you a bad liar,” Spy said dryly.

“Well it’s true, that’s really what happened,” Scout said, a little offended.

“It doesn’t matter to me either way, I just wanted you to know that you need better cover stories if you want to continue getting away with your usual shenanigans.”

“Whatever, Spy,” Scout scoffed, glaring out the window.

About a minute and a half of complete silence. Scout got bored glancing around his side of the car and spent a good minute just picking at his cast before he realized he probably shouldn’t do that. He ended up reaching for the radio.

“No,” Spy droned.

“Aw, c’mon! Can’t we listen to something?” Scout complained. “It’s like forty minutes until we get back to base.”

“If you didn’t get in a bar fight and break your arm, it would be zero minutes. But you did, and I’m not listening to your terrible taste in music for forty minutes just because you can’t keep yourself out of trouble.”

Scout pouted over that for a minute or two before he thought of a good retort. “...Y’know, technically the guy probably only even jumped me because I was alone,” he said.

“Correct.”

“And I was only alone because you and all the other guys ditched me.”

“Succinct.”

“So this is kinda sorta basically your fault.”

Spy’s expression didn’t change. “...My fault?” he repeated.

“Yeah. If you didn’t ditch me, I wouldn’t have gotten jumped.”

Spy’s expression didn’t change.

“So you should let me turn on the radio.”

“Mon dieu, perhaps you should have been a lawyer,” he deadpanned.

Silence. “...So can I turn on the radio?”

“Don’t make me regret it,” Spy said, and Scout leaned over to fiddle with the dial, grinning.

He really didn’t think Spy would put up with the sort of stuff he usually listened to in the car, so he ended up putting on a station with something old enough that Spy probably didn’t hate it. And Spy didn’t turn it off or pull over to dump him on the side of the road, so apparently he picked something alright.

Ten minutes without talking. Scout looked out his window and tried to remember not to pick at his cast. Because he was looking out the window, he pretty easily caught sight of a sign advertising a diner.

He looked over at a Spy. Spy didn’t look back.

“Can we get diner food?” Scout asked.

“No,” Spy said.

“Please?” Scout asked.

“No,” Spy said.

“Please?” Scout asked.

“Tell me you aren’t seriously going to try this game,” Spy said, already looking annoyed. “You’re a grown man.”

“I’m hungry!”

“Then get something to eat at the base,” Spy said.

“I’m hungry and I have a broken arm and I’m gonna have to deal with Medic fixing my broken arm and also all the guys making fun of me. Can we please get diner food?” Scout asked,

Spy paused for a long moment. Scout’s eyes kept flicking between Spy and the upcoming exit. Spy sighed heavily and moved to take the exit. Scout cheered. “I can still change my mind,” Spy threatened. Scout shut up.

Scout double-checked his pockets for his wallet twice before they even pulled into the parking lot. It didn’t look particularly busy, but Spy didn’t pull up near the door anyways. He put the car into park and gave Scout the single most unimpressed look of his life.

“I’m giving you five minutes to order and get back in this car or I’m leaving without you,” he declared.

“Did you want anything?” Scout asked, fumbling with his seatbelt.

“Do I want terrible greasy American diner food?” Spy scoffed.

“Look, just thought I’d fuckin’ ask, alright? Jesus,” Scout mumbled, managing to get his seatbelt off. “And that doesn’t answer my question. Do you want anything?”

“Four minutes and fifty seconds,” Spy drawled, and Scout quickly got out of the car.

There wasn’t anyone in line, and luckily the diner was staffed by the kind of people who didn’t ask questions beyond giving a pointed glance towards his cast. He kept his order simple and kept an eye on the clock on the wall, and bolted back into the parking lot with the paper bag of food in hand wondering if Spy would seriously actually ditch him.

Surprisingly, Spy had left on the radio, and raised an eyebrow at him as he tried his best to bundle himself into the car one-handed. He managed to get his seatbelt on with only a minor scare about almost spilling the food, and promptly started digging through it as Spy pulled them back out of the parking lot.

“Here,” Scout chirped, holding something out to him. Spy frowned, glancing at his mirrors and taking what was being handed to him distractedly. They were out of the parking lot and back on the road by the time Spy actually looked at it.

“What is this?” he asked dryly, looking at the paper-wrapped something.

“Chicken sandwich,” Scout replied, pulling his own food out. “I uh, I think I got ketchup in here too—“

“Why did you get me a sandwich?”

“Why not?” Scout shrugged, unwrapping his burger and glancing it over before taking a bite and frowning. “Aw, man, I wanted cheese on this. Damn.”

“I didn’t ask for anything.”

“I mean, if you don’t want it, I’ll probably eat it.”

“No,” Spy said, and hesitated. He waited until they were at a stoplight before moving to unwrap the sandwich, glancing it over with a critical eye. Scout noticed that he didn’t take it completely out of the paper even when he did move to start eating it, instead using the paper to hold it. Probably worried about grease or something on his dumb gloves. Usually Scout would make fun of him about it, but he was pretty sure he was very close to getting kicked out of the car.

He wolfed down his hamburger (even without cheese) and started getting to work on his french fries, being extra careful due to the fact that he was pretty sure Spy would kill him if he dropped a fry in his nice, fancy, very very clean car.

He could only play it cool for so long once a joke occurred to him, though. He grinned, taking a fry and holding it between two fingers up near his face. “Hey, look, I’m you,” Scout joked, pretending to take a drag.

Spy spared him a glance and promptly rolled his eyes, returning to glaring at the road. “Not even close.”

“Aww, what?” Scout complained.

“First of all, I’m better dressed,” Spy quipped. “Second of all, I’m taller, and third of all, I didn’t get my arm put in a case because of a bar fight. Shall I continue? The list goes on.”

“Well why are you gettin’ personal about it?” Scout asked, bristling. “I was just makin’ a joke, sheesh.”

“How was I meant to know? Usually jokes are funny,” Spy said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Scout didn’t have a good comeback for that, just sinking in his seat and moving to look back out the window.

A good ten minutes of silence again, broken only by the radio and the hum of the car. Scout finished his fries and put his trash back in the bag the way that Spy seemed to be doing, then crossed his arms over himself and just looked out the window at all the nothing. Silence. Road.

Surprisingly, Spy spoke first. “You’ve missed two Volkswagen Beetles,” he noted.

Scout didn’t say anything.

“Usually when we pass one of those you punch me very hard on the arm and I almost crash the car because you’re an idiot.”

Scout sunk further in his seat, but didn’t say anything.

“Am I meant to gather from this that the way to get you to stop doing that is by making you angry with me? Because if so, clearly I’ll need to be much worse to you from now on if I want to keep this vehicle in one piece.”

“Like that’s even possible for you,” Scout said under his breath.

“I didn’t need to come pick you up from the hospital, nor did I need to let you turn on the radio, nor did I need to pull over to allow you to get food from the diner,” Spy pointed out. “All things considered, I’ve been very nice to you so far.”

“What a saint,” Scout mumbled sarcastically.

Silence. “Do you have something to say?”

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ talk about this, alright Spy?” Scout finally huffed.

“And why not?”

“Look, I’ve had a shitty night, okay?” Scout snapped, glaring hard at the desert outside the window. “I got my arm broken in a stupid bar because the guys got annoyed and ditched me and I was up until like four in the morning getting my arm set and put in a cast and then I had to sleep on a shitty bench in a hospital waiting room and then Miss P sent the one person on the planet who hates me more than anyone else to pick me up. I’m not fuckin’ doin’ this right now, okay? Just lay off.”

Silence. Thank god for the radio, or he would’ve suffocated in it.

“Surely I’m not the person who hates you the most in the world,” Spy said after a few moments. “There are nine men being paid to kill you on a daily basis. I’m sure they hate you much more than I do.”

Scout didn’t reply to that.

“And I’m sure none of them would have pulled over to let you get something to eat,” he added.

“Yeah, holy shit, your Peace Prize is in the mail,” Scout huffed.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Scout snapped, finally looking over at him. Spy couldn’t hold eye contact for long, needing to watch the road. “What was that supposed to mean?”

Spy sighed hard, looking extremely irritated. “It means that have you ever considered that perhaps the team worries when someone goes missing? And that occasionally your teammates might worry about you?”

“How was I supposed to know? Usually teammates are supposed to be nice,” Scout sassed, echoing Spy’s earlier joke.

He watched Spy take a measured inhale, a controlled exhale. When he spoke a long few seconds later, his voice was level. “Fine,” he said. “Alright. You’ve made your point.”

Scout just turned to look back out the window.

“...And I’m sorry we left you alone at the bar.”

His head whipped back around, eyebrows furrowed. Spy wasn’t looking at him.

“And I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier, and thank you for also getting me a sandwich when you didn’t need to,” Spy continued.

Scout waited a good few seconds for the catch, for the ‘gotcha’, for the punchline. For the part where Spy would twist the words around and hit him with something really biting once his guard was down. But nothing came. Just silence.

He needed a long moment to figure out how to reply. “...Thanks,” was all he could manage, and he knew it was lame, but Spy just shrugged and made no further comment.

Minutes of silence. Scout looked out the windshield, picked at his cast. “Punch buggy,” he quipped a few minutes later, slugging Spy on the shoulder with his good hand, and Spy made an appropriate sound of disgust and annoyance and offhandedly threatened to make him walk the rest of the way, but Scout just laughed.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

(for the headcanon ask) Percy Jackson, 18!

Anonymous asked: 

Percy Jackson and no. 20 for the ask meme plz??

You two get to go in the same ask together.  For this ask meme!

18) Things they’ll never admit

Percy thinks about Michael Yew--a lot.  Plenty of halfbloods died during the Titan War.  Plenty of them died because of his orders in the Battle of Manhattan.  Percy is well aware that, even for a hero, he has a lot of blood on his hands.  But Michael Yew died when Percy dropped the bridge, and for all that it was Michael’s choice to stay and cover their retreat, part of Percy can’t get past having killed a friend.

20) What Ifs/Alternate Timelines

Okay, this one isn’t actually super Percy-centric, but I am completely obsessed with it: AU where Percy, at the ripe old age of twelve, starts to come out of his haze in the Lotus Hotel because he’s talking to this kid who has no memory whatsoever.  She says her name is Bianca and she’s clearheaded enough to talk with Percy because she’s letting her brother drag her by the hand for the moment.  She says she thinks they’ve been at the hotel a month or two.  They’re waiting for their mom, she thinks?  This is her brother Nico.  Can you believe the imagination on this game designer?  Look at these cars!

Percy laughs a little at that, uneasily.  The racing game Nico is currently dominating is a classic--none of the car models are less then ten years old.  He presses the point a little more, asks more questions, pushes for more details.  Bianca says she likes the trivia games best, but she keeps getting the history questions wrong.

Who ever heard of a state called Alaska?

Percy sics Annabeth on Bianca to convince her that it’s time to leave the hotel and they haul the lot of them out by the scruff of their collective necks, and lo and behold, now it’s the day of the summer solstice, and they have nearly twice as many people in their group as they did to start.  And not just anyone--once Grover’s head is clear again, he frowns at the kids, and announces in alarm that they absolutely cannot send the di Angelos back to camp alone, they’ll be killed before they make the airport.  He’s not sure who their godly parent is, and Nico and Bianca are too busy gaping at a modern Las Vegas to tell them anything, but they’re strong.  Maybe as strong as Percy.

“Well,” Percy says.  “I guess...they’ve gotta come with us, then?"

Smash cut to Hades’ throne room, where he’s all ramped up to imprison him some demigods right up until he catches a glimpse of two very familiar dark-eyed faces.  Once he realizes that Percy isn’t trying to ransom his kids, Hades likes Percy a lot more in this universe--even if he was sort of planning to leave the di Angelos in the Lotus Hotel until after the Great Prophecy came to pass, he can understand that an unfriendly read of that would be an eternity of imprisonment rather than helpfully squirreling away demigods in a cosmic safety deposit box.  And once he catches wind that Kronos was planning to crack that safety deposit box anyway (Luke can’t help but gloat a little about Percy accelerating the Titan Lord’s timeline), he’s suddenly very appreciative that his kids got pseudo-stolen by a well-intentioned hero rather than a Titan pawn.

So, Bianca and Nico end up at Camp Halfblood in Percy’s first year there (they stay in the Big House while Chiron has a crisis), Percy “I Guess This Homicidal Halfblood, Cyclops, And Hundred Handed One From Before The Birth Of Humanity Are All My Little Brothers Now” Jackson highkey bonds with them, and when Bianca joins the Hunters of Artemis, she still makes Percy promise to protect her brother.  This means that Percy still gets his completely excellent moment of declaring that he’s going to be the child of the Prophecy in order to protect Nico, but means that Nico is probably less homicidally inclined toward Percy after Bianca’s death.  Get That Boy A Support System, STAT.  

Also Thalia’s plotline goes as in canon, so there’s a real real tense couple of months where there are FOUR kids of the Big Three kicking around the greater New York area.  They follow a strict code of “Only I Am Allowed To Kill These Three Idiots” and are 110% ready to beat ass in defense of their comrades, even if they’re also getting in screaming matches every other day (@Thalia and Percy specifically).

[ericsonclan]

A Frosty Experience

Summary: Willy goes to the pool to hang out with Brody when he meets a new monster.

Word Count: 1810

Read on AO3:

Willy couldn’t wait to get to the swimming pool. He was planning on meeting up with Brody today who said she would bring along her swim team friend. The lagoon creature could feel his gills puffing up with excitement. It was always fun to meet a fellow monster who enjoyed swimming. According to Brody he was a cyclops who seemed to be rather shy yet warm. The lagoon creature ran down the hall, his webbed feet whacking against the floor when suddenly he noticed the PE teacher Javi happily walking forward with a cup of pudding in his hand. His tail happily wagged back and forth, practically swaying out of control when he took the first bite of pudding.

“Man, I fucking love pudding,” Javi’s ears twitched and his eyes wandered over towards Willy who skidded to a halt.

“Hey there! I totally wasn’t running in the hall!” Willy gave a toothy grin to the werewolf who tilted his head.

“Okay, good to know,” Javi gave a smile then followed the lagoon creature’s gaze towards the sign for the school pool. “Going for an afternoon swim?” The werewolf’s tail had returned to a regular pace.

“Yep! Gonna meet my friend, Brody.” Willy proudly declared, his gills puffing out.

“How about that, I know that monster. She’s quite the swimmer.” Javi leaned over and whispered conspiratorially   “Are you giving her a run for her money?”

“Yeah! She can barely keep up with my fast fins!”

Javi gave a small laugh. “Good, good. Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Careful not to run by the edge of the pool.”

“I will!” Willy sprinted off once more, completely forgetting the attempt to show that he wasn’t breaking the rule and running down the hall.

The werewolf laughed and shook his head good naturedly before he let the spoon wander back up to his mouth. “Mmmm, ridiculous!” Javi’s tail wagged energetically and soon the PE teacher’s focus was completely back on the pudding.

Willy continued to sprint to the pool and paused for a second when he didn’t see Brody already in the pool. He quickly shrugged it off and tossed off his jacket, taking his water containers off his wrists before kicking off his shoes. “The lagoon monster is back! Rahh rahh!” Willy’s webbed feet slapped against the floor and with a huge jump he cannonballed into the pool.

A few seconds later his head bobbed back up to the surface and he let out a series of happy fish sounds as his gills expanded then deflated. He lazily swam on his back and floated for a bit. It was nice to be in the water but it was way more fun with friends. If he had to guess where the selkie was, he’d bet she got distracted by a certain minotaur.

Willy kicked his feet in the water then dove down into its depths. Spinning around a few times he went from one end of the pool to the other. The lagoon creature popped back up to the surface and pushed back his wet hair. That's when he noticed her.

A girl with dark, stoic eyes was staring directly at him. Her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her right hand was busying playing with a smooth rock. She looked to be human. That was the lagoon creature’s guess until he noticed that frost was covering her finger tips. Small snowflake-like frost traveled up her wrists and was quickly hidden away underneath the mauve hoodie she was wearing. Was she a monster too? Willy thought about it for a second. He knew one thing for sure: she wasn't an abominable snowman. He had just learned about that monster today and she was definitely too cool and less hairy than they were.

“Hi there, I’m Willy,” The fish creature kicked his webbed feet and slowly moved forward. “What’s your name?”

The monster studied Willy's face for a moment before responding. “Allison.”

“Cool! Did you come here to check out the pool? It's super nice! You should come closer!” The fish creature smiled warmly which made the monster seriously consider the suggestion. Casually she moved forward and took off one of her shoes. The monster stared at the water, a sliver of fear dancing in her eyes for a split second before she dipped her toe in. As soon as she did so little ice sticks appeared in the water. Slowly they surfaced and gently spun round her foot.

“So. Cool!” Willy stared in awe and moved forward to examine the ice bits. The sudden movement and the fact that he was getting closer made Allison’s eyes grow large. Within seconds the entire pool was frozen solid with the energetic lagoon monster trapped waist deep a little ways from the edge.

“Sorry,” Allison whispered, her eyes falling and focusing on the floor.

“It's no big dea-”

Willy’s words were cut off when Brody let out a shocked gasp making the two young monsters look over to see the selkie in the doorway, her hand intertwined with Mitch’s. “Willy!” Brody ran forward with Mitch causing Allison to step back. Slowly the monster girl moved all the way into the corner, her eyes focused on the ground, flickering with guilt at what she had done.

“We gotta get you the fuck out of there!” Mitch let go of his girlfriend’s hand and angrily punched the ice but all it did was make his knuckles bruises. The minotaur hissed, his tail flicking back and forth in anger.

“Willy, can you feel your feet?” Brody looked over with concern toward the fish monster who seemed surprisingly calm about this.

“Nope, but it's okay. I’m sure Allison can just undo the ice!”

Willy’s confident words made Allison glance up, her eyes growing slightly larger. “I’ve only successfully done it twice,”

“Why did you freeze the pool then?!” Brody snapped, instantly regretting it when she saw Allison flinch.

“Hey, don't be mean to Allison,” Willy frowned over at the selkie.

“Don’t worry, Brodes. I’m breaking him out,” Mitch snorted and stepped out onto the ice. Stomping his hooves wildly he ran in circles around the lagoon monster who cheered him on.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. I was talking with Minnie-” James froze in place when he entered the pool room. His hands hovered over the swim goggle that he was putting on his eye. His grip slipped and the goggle slapped against his face. “Ouch,” The cyclops shook his head.

“James, help me try to pull Willy out of the ice!” The selkie called back to her friend who jogged over. Both monsters grabbed an arm and pulled with all their might but it didn’t do anything.

“Oh, wait! I have the perfect plan! I’m gonna melt the shit out of that ice!” Mitch ran forward, slipping and sliding on the ice before disappearing out of the room.

“What's this perfect plan?” Brody called out to her boyfriend but he was already long gone. So she turned her attention back to ways she could break Willy out from the ice. Meanwhile James had noticed Allison in the corner and went over to check if she was alright.

“Hey there, I’m James. What's your name?”

The cyclops’ voice made the monster glance up before her eyes focused on her shoes. “Allison,” She continued to fidget with the rock in her hand, the frost quickly spreading across her fingers and coating its way up her covered arms.

James looked at the ice on her arms for a second. “Are you an ice maiden?”

Allison stopped playing with the rock for a second before resuming. “Yeah. Not good with my abilities though.”

“I’m sure if we take some deep, cleansing breaths and calm down you can unfreeze the pool,” The cyclops’ suggestion made Allison consider it for a moment then look over at the pool where Brody had grabbed the pool skimmer, using the handle and beginning to whack it against the ice.

“Stupid ice! Just. Break. Already!” The selkie tried again and again but it was no use, the pool skimmer metal handle was bent oddly and still the ice remained intact. Brody let out a frustrated groan. When she heard the sound of hooves grow louder.

“I got it, Brodes!” Mitch charged forward, a blowtorch proudly displayed in his hands.

Brody’s mouth fell open, slightly ajar at the plan her boyfriend had come up with. “Mitch, that's dangerous!” The selkie pulled her sealskin closer around her shoulders.

“I have to save Willy!” Mitch huffed, his tail flicking back and forth as he lit up the blow torch.

“You didn’t even bring the mask to protect your face!” Brody exclaimed in disbelief as the minotaur set the ice aflame with the blowtorch.

“Whoa! That's totally badass, Mitch!” Willy pumped both of his fists into the air. The flames sure were toasty and the lagoon monster could feel his skin drying up. Mitch soon noticed and immediately stopped the flamethrowering.

“Shit, sorry!”

“It's okay. Hey, Allison, do you wanna try to use your cool ice powers on the pool again?” Willy gave a toothy grin over at the ice maiden. Allison wasn’t sure why this monster had so much faith in her but it touched her heart. With a short nod she walked forward. Slowly she inhaled then exhaled, the air around her fogging up for a moment. The ice maiden’s eyes hardened and wind swirled gently around the ice covering the pool. Cracks and fractures appeared all around the ice making the fish monster watch in awe. Slowly the ice surrounding Willy became cracked enough.

“Hey! I can feel my legs!” The lagoon monster beamed. Brody and Mitch ran forward, each grabbed an arm and pulled. The ice groaned around Willy but eventually he was free from the frozen prison. He whacked his webbed feet against the tiled floor, a shiver running up his spine. “That. Was. So. Badass! You’re super cool!” Willy shot his hands up in the air and looked over at Allison who seemed confused why he was this impressed by her power.

“Nice tutu,” Mitch playfully nudged Willy who glanced down to see a small circle of ice was still stuck to his waist. Willy and Mitch laughed and the lagoon monster did a little spin when suddenly they heard some footsteps appear near the door.

After a few seconds Omid and Principal Christa walked into the pool area. The imp and the banshee’s eyes grew large at the sight of the pool still covered with ice that was now jagged and broken, the lagoon creature with an ice tutu and the selkie holding a damaged pool skimmer while a flamethrower lay right beside Mitch’s hooves. The group of monster students all shared a look. They were going to be in so much trouble.

[dorkzrul]

32 Reasons Why

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Note: This is after the Second Titan War but Silena and Beckendorf never died and Percabeth never got together :(

<3<3<3

She yawned, sitting up on her bed. She got up to open the curtains of the cabin and “SURPRISE!!!”, yelled half the Aphrodite cabin. “What is going on. What's happening. Ughhhhh. It's too early for this!”, she cried, sleepily rubbing her eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot, silly. It’s Valentine’s Day today!”, exclaimed Silena, perky as always. “Here you go!”, and she shoved a bunch of little pink bags covered in hearts, into Annabeth’s arms. “These are for the Athena Cabin, and Annabeth, there's something special in there for you”, she winked at Annabeth. Ugh, couldn't Silena know that the only person she’d ever want to receive a card from. Ugh!!! And now that Seaweed Brain was making her sappy. How could he not know that she liked her. For gods’ sake! Even the clueless Ares kids knew. She wanted to run over to his cabin (He was visiting camp for a week) and scream into his ear that she liked him. Here are the hints she has given him:

-She kissed him on the cheek.

-She asked him to ask her to dance.

-SHE FELL OFF A CLIFF FOR HIM!!!

-She refused the hunters for him.

-She agreed to dance with him up on Olympus.

-SHE KISSED HIM IN THE LABYRINTH!!!

-She was mad that he was at Calypso’s island while she thought he was dead.

-She was jealous of Rachel.

-SHE TOOK A KNIFE FOR HIM!!!

It was a pretty extensive list if she did say so herself. Hmm… maybe she should send him a card for Valentine’s Day. Anyways, gotta get to work. She segregated the cards and gifts and gave them to the respective Athena kids, and was rather surprised when she came across an envelope with her name untidily scrawled across the front. Her heart leapt. She’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, Percy’s. “Calm down Annabeth, it may just be a card telling how he thought of her as nothing more than a very good friend or maybe that she was like a sister to him”, she told herself. She opened the envelope and found a folded sheet of paper. ‘32 Reasons Why’, was written in big, bold letters on the top of the page. 32 reasons for what? She looked down and this is what she found.

You call me Seaweed Brain.

You let me call you Wise Girl, even though I know you hate nicknames.

What? Where was this going?

You have beautiful blonde hair.

You defy the stereotype “Dumb Blonde”.

You’re super smart.

You correct me when I mess up.

Your brilliant grey eyes.

Your tan skin that practically shines in the sun.

Your long legs.

Your pink lips.

She blushed at that. Had that Seaweed Brain been staring at her lips?

Just you (You’re beautiful you know)

You keep me on my toes.

You put up with my klutziness.

You put up with my Seaweed Brain-ness

You aren’t afraid of anything (except spiders).

You made me your official spider-killer.

You watch finding nemo and the little mermaid with me.

Oh my gods! The number of times she and Percy had cuddled on his couch and had a Disney movie marathon. She personally thought it was adorable how much he loved them, especially Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid.

My mom loves you.

You love my mom.

You baked a cake for me (with Tyson’s help)

The first thing you ever said to me was “You drool in your sleep”.

You like Tyson even though you hate cyclops.

You kissed me on the cheek.

You fell off a cliff for me.

You danced with me.

You kissed me in the labyrinth.

You were jealous of Rachel (btw you looked adorable when you were jealous)

Wait! Percy thought she was adorable… And he had apparently known that she was jealous and still insisted Rachel come… SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HIM!!!

You took a knife for me.

I turned down immortality for you.

You kept me alive when I was in the River Styx (You are my mortal anchor to the world).

Huh, she hadn't known that.

You are going to march over to my cabin after you read this and either kill or kiss me.

He really did know her. She was going to-Wait! Kiss?

I am in love with you.

32 Reasons Why I Love You

He loved her! That Seaweed Brain loved her! She couldn’t even be mad at him right now. She was just so happy… and turning into one of those Aphrodite girls… UGH! WHAT WAS THIS SEAWEED BRAIN DOING TO HER?!?! She was going to march over to his cabin right now and give him a… hug! NO! That was not what she was going to do! She was mad at him!!! She was going to give him a slap. Right? She immediately went over to his cabin. He was sleeping, drooling all over his pillow. And then he said something; her name. Somehow the combined ideas of her seemingly being in his dream as well as him drooling made Annabeth blush a red so bright, tomatoes would be jealous. “Wake up Seaweed Brain!”, she cried, shoving him so hard, he almost fell off the bed. “5 more minutes mom”, Percy sleepily muttered. Then he opened his eyes. “ANNABETH!”, he yelled in surprise and fell off his bed. She laughed until she noticed he was only wearing boxers. Her face immediately became a blazing red. She turned away,”PUT SOME CLOTHES ON SEAWEED BRAIN!” He didn't seem to have realised until then and immediately ran to the washroom to get dressed, leaving her standing there blushing. She’d never admit it but Percy was HAWT! He finally came out, this time wearing clothes. Half of her was relieved, but the other half, the one she tried to push deep inside, was disappointed. “So. What's up?”, Percy asked, seemingly nonchalant. That idiot! Had he really forgotten about it? Then, the Aphrodite cabin knocked on his door and shoved a box into his arms when he opened it. The box must have had at least 50 letters, cards and gifts from adoring girls. Annabeth could feel the jealousy boiling up inside her. She so wanted to snatch the box from his arms and throw it far away. Percy was HERS! Fortunately though, it seemed to have reminded Percy of the letter. His face was rapidly turning red and was avoiding her gaze. Annabeth decided to make him wait and didn't say anything. For a minute or so, none of them said anything. Then Percy burst out, “Annabeth, I can't take this any longer! Have you read it yet?” “What are you talking about, Seaweed Brain?”, asked Annabeth, deciding to have some fun with this. “The letter!”, exclaimed Percy. “Oh! That letter!” “So you have read it” “Maybeee” “Annabeth! Just tell me please!”, Percy begged. “Yeah, I have read it”, said Annabeth nonchalantly. “Wise Girl, you’re killing me”, Percy moaned and fell on the bed. She kissed him, right on the lips. And he had some nice ones. He made a surprised sound against her mouth and for a moment she was afraid she did something wrong. But Percy immediately pulled her closer and started kissing her back with just as much passion. Annabeth pulled back, gasping for air. “Sooo, does this mean you like me too?”, Percy asked. She glared at him,”DO I HAVE TO TATTOO IT ACROSS MY FOREHEAD?! Yes, I like you Seaweed Brain!” Percy smiled goofily and kissed her again. “Perce, you in there?”, they heard one of the Stolls call and quickly jumped apart. “So there you are”, smirked Connor. “And it seems like it finally happened huh. The great getting together of PERCABETH. Hey Travis”, he called for his brother who came in grinning a minute later. “Time for Plan Percabeth!” “Omg! I knew this was going to happen”, cried Silena as she rushed in, dragging a couple of campers with her. “To the lake”, Clarisse declared, and they dumped the couple in the lake. Underwater, Percy made an air bubble and it was them who had the last laugh as everyone convenienlt forgot that Percy was the son of Poseidon. They stayed down there for ages, just talking and laughing. And maybe they made out a little; but nobody has to know!

<3<3<3

Hey guys, dorkzrul here! Hope you guys enjoyed this fanfic. I may write a partner one-shot thingy featuring other couples like jasper, solangelo, gruniper, etc. so stay tuned for that. And don’t forget to leave a review. It really means a lot. Constructive Criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading! Dorkzrul, signing off!

This story is also available of Fanfiction.net and Wattpad with the same name and username.

[mythologyfolklore]

Ares and Athena through the years - Ch. 14

Chapter Fourteen: Odyssey, Pt. 02

(A/N: The second part of the Odyssey! The next one will be the last one, but also the longest, because I’m barely half-way through this damn book! Also a warning for people getting eaten by cyclops and sea monsters)

.

Odysseus continued: “Now that you know this, you're probably wondering how I got into this situation. So I will tell you also of my many troubles, that in the end have brought me here.

.

It all started at the sacking of Troy and the surrounding area.

I insisted, that we should leave immediately after winning the war.

But Agamemnon, master of bad decisions, and a majority of his army, refused, continuing the sacking, partying and getting drunk and making sacrifices that couldn't appease the angered gods anymore. A retaliatory force coming to the aid of the surviving Trojans overwhelmed us and killed many of the Achaeans, who had survived the war. In addition Zeus' wrath came upon us and a large part of the fleet was wrecked in a storm. My ships and men survived, albeit damaged, but we were brought off course and sent adrift on the sea, all the while mourning those of our men, who had fallen against the Kykones.

.

After a few days we drifted to the island of the Lotophages¹.

They were friendly and meant well, but the Lotos they shared with us was apparently a hallucinogen, because it clouded the senses of my men to the point where I forcefully had to drag them back to the ships, despite their tears and protests.

You will see, that this stop was the least problematic on my journey.

.

The next island we came to was that of the Kyklopes², audacious, lawless men, who rely on the Deathless Ones so much, that they don't sow fruits or corn, nor drive out to fish, as they don't know rows or ships. Their fruits grow without care, by the blessing of Zeus. We found insane lots of goats living on the island. As we set out to look the place, we found a cave and in a fit of stupidity decided to explore it.

We were still there, when its owner came back, a nasty Kyklops named Polyphemos.

He heeded not the laws of hospitality – perhaps he didn't even know them – spoke blasphemy against Zeus and … and he grabbed two of my men, flung them around like dolls … and ate them. Gods, it was horrifying! Then he went to sleep. In the morning that monster devoured two more of my men, drove his sheep outside and pushed a boulder in front of the entrance, locking us inside. I really wanted to kill him in his sleep, but I couldn't do that without trapping us all inside the cave, so we had to bide our time. During that time we looked for something to aid us in our escape and found a huge bludgeon. I cut a piece off with my sword and ordered the others to sharpen it into a rod. By the time the Kyklops was back, it was ready and so was my escape plan. After he had devoured two more of my men, I managed to get him drunk on the wine we had brought along. He asked me what my name was and I told him it was 'Nobody'. He declared, that he would eat me last and went to sleep.

We took the big pale we had made, heated it over the fire and used it to gouge his eye out.

The Kyklops awoke, roared in pain and fury, that the cave shook and we all ran, trying to get out of his reach. He pulled the pale out of his eye, scrambled around and kept on screaming.

From outside we could hear his fellow Kyklopes gather around his cave to see what was wrong. We could hear them ask him, why he was screaming like that. When he told them that 'Nobody' had blinded him and wanted to kill him, we heard them scoff in response and tell him to pray to his father, mighty Poseidon. My heart laughed, because my idea had fooled them so well.

Polyphemos kept feeling around and finally moved the boulder from the entrance of the cave. He felt the backs of his sheep to prevent anyone from escaping among them. Little did he know, that we were clinging to the bellies of the sheep – and beautiful, well-fed and well-cared sheep they were – and that was how we got away. We quickly drove the sheep to the ships to those of the crew, who had stayed there and made haste to get away from the island.

But I had a moment of hubris – I still don't know what I was thinking – and provoked the Kyklops with taunting words, that he threw a boulder at us, narrowly missing our ship. My companions told me to shut my mouth already (and I really should have) but I didn't listen and made the mistake of giving my real name. In his rage, he prayed to his father Poseidon, that I should never reach my home, or if I should, that I would get there very lately and all alone.

Thus he prayed and Kyanokhaitis³ heard him.

But we, now finally out of that danger, mourned those who had died, while thanking the gods for ourselves staying alive.

We shared the sheep we had taken among us and made sacrifices to Zeus, which went unheard.

.

We kept on sailing, until we landed on the island of Aiolos.

He received us kindly and asking us about everything. I told him whatever he wanted to know and after a month finally asked him to allow us to leave.

He did so and also gave me a leather bag, into which he locked the winds, safe for the west wind, so that we might get home quickly.

And we did have good wind, it was wonderful. It wasn't long, until Ithaka was in sight!

But unfortunately, my crew had to be idiots and put it into their heads, that the leather bag had treasures in it. They uncorked it, the winds escaped in a furious storm and we were blown back to Aiolos' island. But this time he sent us away, saying that we had to be cursed by the gods and he didn't want to have cursed people in his home.

I returned to the ships empty-handed and crestfallen.

.

The next land we came to was that of the Laistrygones.

As we went out for enquiries, we found a girl, who pointed us to the house of her parents. We quickly found out, that they were man-eating giants, as the king quickly seized one of my men, killed and cooked him.

The rest of us quickly fled back to the ships and made haste to get away as quickly as possible.

But alas, only my own ship managed to escape, the others and their crew were lost.

We kept on rowing, mourning the loss of so many more of our comrades.

.

For days we meandered across the sea, until we got to the isle of Aiaia. There lives Kirke, daughter of Helios and the Okeanide Perse and sister of king Aietes of Kolkhis. She is a goddess and a sorceress of great power.

That I found out, when I sent a few of my comrades to scout the surroundings and only one of them came back, completely out of his wits. He told me, that the others had been invited inside her home and not returned. Only he had refused to come inside her house and therefore had escaped that fate.

This prompted me to go out and see for myself what was going on.

On my way, I was met by Hermes, the golden-staffed, who told me what exactly had happened: that my comrades had been turned into pigs and that I wouldn't stand a chance saving them without his help. He gave me a herb that would make me immune against Kirke's sorcery and told me what I should do. I was to eat that herb, before she would give me her enchanted meal, then, as soon as she would hit me with her switch, pull my sword and attack her, as if I wanted to kill her. Then I was to make her swear a Stygian Oath not to harm me and go to bed with her, then she would restore my comrades back to humanity.

So I did, so it happened and we spent over a year at her home, before one of my comrades reminded me of home.

I asked Kirke to let us go and she agreed, but advised me to travel to Hades first and consult the spirit of the blind seer Teiresias, as he was the only one, who knew how I could get home.

The prospect of going to Hades alive frightened me, but she gave me detailed instructions on how to get there and what to do upon arrival.

.

We sailed to the far west, to the stream of Okeanos and beyond.

There we found a grove of white poplars, the tree of terrible Persephone.

There we entered the underworld and sacrificed the two black sheep we had brought along.

It attracted many of the feeble spirits, who wanted to strengthen themselves by drinking some of the blood, but I pulled my sword and refused to let anyone drink, before Teiresias had arrived.

Oh how many familiar faces I saw, and how surprised I was to see them!

I found one of my comrades, whom we had left behind in Kirke's home. He told me, that he had fallen out of a window and broken his neck and begged, that he should be buried properly and with his oar. I promised him to do so.

And there I saw Antikleia, my dear mother, who had been alive, when I had sailed for Troy. How shocked I was to see her here!

But even her I couldn't let near, before I had consulted Teiresias.

He came and strengthened himself on the sheep blood, before revealing, why I was cursed and what I should do to return home. I had invoked the wrath of Ennosigaios⁴ by blinding his son Polyphemos, but even so my remaining men and I would come home, under one condition: he predicted, that we would land at the isle of Thrinakia, where the sun Helios lets his cows graze. Only if we kept our hands off the cows and didn't harm them, we would get home. If we hurt them, my crew would die and I would return only after many years more – alone, on a stranger's ship. And once there I would find many suitors at my home, vying for my wife and consuming my property. I would slay them all for their impertinence and then I was to seek a land afterwards would live the rest of my days more or less peacefully, until death would come for me from the sea.

Having learned this, I allowed some of the other spirits to drink from the blood.

The first to drink was my mother. I wept bitterly, when I heard how she had passed away. She told me … excuse me, please – ahem – she had died of heartbreak during my absence, that she had withered away yearning for me. She also told me, that my Penelope was still waiting for me, that my father was sorely missing me and wasting away (just like herself) and that my son was ruling over my estate. I sought to hug my dear mother, but it's the lot of the dead to be incorporeal ghosts. She bid me farewell and retreated back into the darkness.

Then came more souls of the dead, some of them lovers of gods and mothers of famed heroes.

I even encountered Alkmene, the mother of Herakles, and Leda, the mother of Helene – both beloved by Zeus during their lifetime.

I met so many, but if I recounted them all, we would be sitting here all night and it's really time to go to sleep.”

.

Silence filled the room, as everyone else gazed at Odysseus in wonder.

Eventually queen Arete broke the silence: “Look at what a splendid guest we have here! We shouldn't send him off too quickly, not without appropriate guest presents. The gods have given us great wealth and it's only fair, that we should share it with this man, who is in need of our gifts indeed.”

The assembled nobles nodded in agreement and looked at their king, waiting for what he had to say.

The king turned to Odysseus and asked him to stay for a day longer, as much as he probably desired to go home. Alkinoos was delighted, when the war veteran agreed.

“But first”, he said, “my curiosity needs to be satisfied. Please do tell us, if you saw any of your comrades who met their fates in front of the walls of Troy. It would really delight us all. I wouldn't mind staying up all night just to hear that!”

Odysseus was obviously tired, but humoured them and went on: “As you wish, then. Yes, I did see them all – them and those of my old comrades, who survived the war, but met their fates at home. First I saw dark Persephone herself – she came to lead the gentle women's souls away, then allowed me to see my old friends and acquaintances.

Imagine my surprise, when the first to appear was Agamemnon of Mykene, who had been alive last time I had seen him. He was wailing and weeping over being dead and it was so heart-wrenching, that I began to cry as well. When I asked him, what fate had befallen him, he told me about how his wife Klytaimnestra and her lover Aigisthos had perfidiously murdered him, right after his return home. They had slaughtered unfortunate Kassandra too (the princess of Troy, I remember her – she was a lot like me). He then proceeded to go on a rant about the falsehood of women, only to remind me, that I had chosen a good and loyal wife in Penelope (as if I didn't already know). Then he bewailed, that he hadn't even got to see his son again, before he had died and wished me, that I would see my dear child grow into a fine young man. He also asked me, if his son Orestes was alright, but I didn't know.

He retreated into the shadows and the next to come were Akhilleus and Patroklos (always together even in death), Antilokhos and Ajax the son of Telamon.

Akhilleus recognised me and sadly asked me, why I had come to the underworld. I told him and congratulated him on now being the ruler of the shades. He moaned and responded, that he would rather have been a peon, serving another and living in poverty, than be the superior of mindless shades. He also inquired after his father and son. I told him what I knew about them and he returned to the Asphodel Fields, proud that his son had gained glory.

Other souls stood sadly and asked what I could say about their loved ones.

Only Ajax stood aside; he held a grudge and didn't want to talk to me. I must admit that I regret winning the competition against him for the armour of great Akhilleus – it brought him to the grave and that just wasn't worth it.

I also saw king Minos of Crete, who now judges the dead.

I saw the giant hunter Orion, still chasing wild game even in death.

There was Tityos, who had assaulted black-robed Leto and as punishment was chained to the ground, while two vultures were feeding off his liver.

And there I saw Tantalos, perpetually starving and thirsty, trying in vain to reach the fruits above him and the water below, always retreating, when he reached or stooped for either.

Then there was Sisyphos, the trickster, rolling his boulder up a mountain, only for it to roll down, when he was almost there, so that he would have to start again.

I even encountered the shadow of famed Herakles. But he himself isn't there – he sits with the Immortals as a god and is wed to Hebe, the giver of youth.

The shadow gave me his sympathy and recalled how once he had been sent here during life, to get terrible Kerberos from Hades, for his last service to Eurystheus.

And I would have seen many more, but the dead now came in such large numbers, that I was seized by terror. When venerated Persephone motioned for me to leave, I was more than happy to comply.

So I grabbed my terrified companions and we returned to the surface and onto the stream of Okeanos.

.

We returned to Kirke's island and buried Elpenor, as I had promised him.

The sorceress let us rest for a day, gave us provisions and warned us about several dangers ahead on our journey.

Among other things, she warned me about the Seirênes and their entrancing voices. She advised me to stuff the ears of my crew with wax, as soon as we came near their island. If I wanted to hear them, I was to let my crew tie me to the pylon. I would be entranced by their singing and beg my crew to untie me, but with the wax in their ears, they wouldn't hear me and just row past their island.

But danger wouldn't end there, because next we would come to the narrow strait of Messina. The strait is flanked by two cliffs.

Halfway up the bigger one there is a a cave, where hideous Skylla has her home. Kirke described her as a bellowing monster with twelve dangling feet, six long necks and nasty heads on each, with a triple row of sharp teeth. Normally she fishes in the waters below with her long-necked heads, but when a ship came past, she'd eat a man with each of her heads.

On the smaller cliff opposite her cave stands a giant fig tree. Beneath it is a giant whirlpool, the monstrous Kharybdis. Thrice a day she would swallow water and throw it back up thrice.

There was no way past either of them without losing men.

After that we would come to Thrinakia, the island where Helios kept his cattle. She gave me the same advice Teiresias had given me before: not to touch them or all of my men would die and my return home would be delayed.

With her warnings on my mind, we set sail in the morning.

I told everything to my crew and they stuffed their ears with wax and tied me to the pole, as soon as the isle of the Seirênes came into sight.

I could see, that they looked just the way Kirke had describe them: they had the upper bodies of fair Nymphai and the wings and lower bodies of birds and were sitting on a green field, each on her own pile of bones and rotting corpses of men, who had been spellbound by their singing.

The men started to row as fast as they could.

As soon as the Seirênes spotted our ship, they began to sing to me.

Their heavenly singing ensnared my senses, as they called to me and promised me all the knowledge I had ever desired and dreamed of. I wanted to hear more and begged my men to untie me, but they leaned further into their oars and sailed faster. Two stood up and bound me tighter to the pylon.

It was only when their voices couldn't be heard anymore, that I stopped struggling against the ropes. Only then did my comrades take the wax out of their ears and untie me.

We just about had time to catch our breaths, before our ship was pulled into a strong and loud current. My crew was seized by fear and they let go of their rows. I had to give them a rousing speech to get them back to rowing the ship.

I instructed the helmsman to steer the ship away from the whirlpool towards the bigger cliff (I hadn't told my men anything about Skylla, because it would have frightened them even more). As we drove past Kharybdis, it sucked in water and we could see its insides, a truly horrific sight: from the walls of water came sharp rocks like teeth and at the bottom of the whirl the earth, darkened by the wet sand. That was terrifying enough, but it all got worse when we passed the cave of Skylla, her monstrous heads dashed down and grabbed six of my comrades. They thrashed in Skylla's six maws, calling my name, screaming for help, before they got devoured … it was … it was the most woebegone thing I had ever seen in my entire life. And that means a lot coming from me. We hastily sailed past, while her mouths were full.

After getting past those monstrosities with heavy losses, we finally got to the island of Helios.

We could see golden cows and sheep grazing on green fields.

Remembering what Teiresias and Kirke had told me, I warned my crew against landing here and told them, that we would land at the next island we'd find. But their collective protest forced me to give in and we landed on Thrinakia.

Predictably enough, Zeus sent a perpetual storm, which kept us there for over a month. At some point the provisions Kirke had given us began to run out.

We had to resort to hunting our food, birds, berries, roots, small game and so on.

One day I slipped away to make some sacrifices and pray to the gods for deliverance. What I got instead was a deep slumber.

While I was asleep, one of my comrades (my brother-in-law, sadly enough⁵) got the – urgh! – 'bright' idea, that it would be perfectly fine to kill one of the sacred golden cows, sacrifice it to the god and eat it. I woke up and returned to the ship, only to smell and behold beef being roasted over fire. Of course I was angry, frustrated and completely devastated, but it was too late now.

Meanwhile, one of the maidens living on the island reported the robbery to her father Helios.

Later, Kalypso, who had heard everything from other sea deities, told me what exactly had happened: wroth at my comrades' offence, the Sun had complained to Zeus and demanded reparation, or he would sink into the stream of Okeanos and never rise again. Zeus had pacified him and promised him retribution.

In the meantime the gods sent us bad omens: the cow skins crawled around, the flesh on the skewers screamed and it sounded much like the pained mooing of living cows. It was really nauseating to me, but apparently my comrades didn't notice anything. They merrily ate the beef for six days.

On the seventh, the storm sent by Zeus suddenly stopped.

We quickly went aboard and set sail. But as soon as we were on the open sea and there was no land in sight, the skies darkened and the King of the Gods unleashed another hurricane, worse than the last. It was already ripping the vessel apart, when Zeus struck our ship with a lightning bolt. It killed all that had been left of my crew and wrecked the ship completely.

I survived just barely, by clinging to the pylon. The storm ceased after a while, but bad winds carried me across the sea all night long – right back to Skylla and Kharybdis. Latter was swallowing the sea water, but I just about managed to grab the branches of the fig tree above. All I could do was hold on, until the monstrous whirlpool finally spat the water and with it the pylon back out. I let go, clung to the wooden pole and paddled out of there as fast as I could.

For nine days I was adrift on the sea, until I was marooned on the island of the goddess Kalypso, who treated me well and nursed me back to my full health and wits.

You know the rest, king; I told you and your esteemed queen yesterday. I would rather not tell again.”

.

Silence settled over the crowd once more.

This time it was Alkinoos, who broke it by deciding, that Odysseus, in addition to all the other guest presents he had already received, should also have kettles and tripods. His decision found collective approval.

Next day, the gifts from the Phaiakoi were carried to a ship, more festivities were held and Odysseus did his best to rein in his anxiety.

The morning after that, the ship was finally ready to leave the harbour.

With gladdened soul, the long-suffering hero bade his kind hosts farewell and wished them the best, a wish that was requited by the Phaiakoi. The proper sacrifices to the gods were made, the crew and he himself went aboard and after everyone was in place, they set sail.

He stood on the rail to wave at the crowd standing on the dock. Meanwhile a few of the rowers spread out blankets and cloths for him to sleep on.

With a thank you, he lay down and fell into a deep slumber.

All day and all night the ship practically flew across the sea and arrived at Ithaka early in the morning. They steered the ship to a remote place they knew, carried Odysseus (who was still sleeping like a log) down onto the strand with his newly given treasures, in this remote place where no one would see all of this and rob all the goods.

Then they sailed back home.

.

On Olympos, Poseidon was throwing a hissy fit.

“This will not stand!”, he roared, “If the mortals don't honour me anymore, does that mean that the gods don't do it either? I thought I decreed, that Odysseus would only come home after much suffering, as you decreed that eventually he should return! But the Phaiakoi – descendants of mine, no less – escorted him to Ithaka on a fast ship, with greater treasures than he ever could have won at Troy! This will not stand!”

“Now, now”, Zeus sought to pacify him, “No one disrespects you here. After all, you're the oldest here-”

“Fourth oldest!”, Aphrodite corrected sharply. “Of us Olympians, I, Demeter and Hera are the oldest here!”

“Whatever”, Zeus went on, “Dear brother, if a mortal disrespects you, you can still get revenge later. If you feel, that the Phaiakoi disrespected you by bringing him home at last, punish them to your heart's content.”

“I will!”, Poseidon huffed, “And also-”

“Uhhh, uncle?”

The gods turned to Dionysos in surprise.

The god of wine and madness sighed: “Uncle, don't you think it's time to just … stop? Being charitable towards an honoured guest is no disrespect to us gods. And Odysseus has already gone through so much shit. You got what you wanted. I have looked into his mind; he will be scarred for life, will always have nightmares at night. He has suffered too much by now, that it more than makes up for his crime. Let it go.”

Athena beamed at her half-brother and would have hugged him, but she had a reputation to uphold.

“You heard him”, she triumphed, “I couldn't have said it better. With all due respect, uncle, you need to calm down. The Phaiakoi shouldn't suffer, because of your petty grudge (besides, Polyphemos more than deserved what he got). Under any other circumstances, you – and we all – would have rewarded their helpfulness and hospitality. Should this be an exception?”

Poseidon grumbled, but assented and promised not to take it out on the innocent Phaiakoi.

That pacified Athena; Poseidon was a god of his word.

Still, it went against the fate that the Moirai had decided and so Zeus Moiragetês⁶ had a long talk with them. For once, the Moirai were generous enough to turn a blind eye to this subversion of fate.

And that's how a mean prophecy didn't come true.⁷

.

In Ithaka, Odysseus finally awoke from his slumber. But as he looked around, he didn't recognise his own home; the gods had summoned a thick mist to conceal the surroundings in its silver grey veil.

At first he was totally lost and despaired over it, praying that someone would send him a sign to let him know, where he was.

Athena heard his prayer and emerged from the mist in the guise of a young shepherd.

The battle-hardened veteran spotted him and inquired, where he was.

She laughed and informed him, that he was on widely known Ithaka, where else could they be?

She could tell, that he was relieved beyond comprehension.

But with healthy suspicion, he told her a fib, that he was from Crete, had fled after murdering a prince, then got into a storm and had been dumped here by the crew of the ship he had sailed with.

Athena laughed in amusement: “And this is why you're one of my favourite heroes. Your cunning is exceptional and you and I have that in common.”

He gawked at her and fell onto his knees.

She smiled and continued: “I have come to assist you. For you're not out of danger. Teiresias surely has warned you, that you would come home to find strangers inside your home, wooing your unwilling wife. You and I must plan now how to vanquish them.”

Odysseus looked up and replied: “Hardly a man could ever recognise you, oh goddess. For you disguise yourself as one of us mortals, when you walk among us and shroud yourself in illusions.”

Athena concealed, that one hero had seen her and other gods for what they were: Diomedes, Odysseus' former friend, whom she might have favoured just a little more. Even if these times of peace, she had never taken away his enhanced sight.

“Let's not talk about that”, she went on instead, “First we need to hide all those treasures. Then I will cast an illusion on you. We both know that it's better, if no one recognises you just yet.

And I know, that you're suspicious. You don't want to truly return, until you have reassured yourself about your wife's loyalty, no matter how much I insist, that she has never been unfaithful to you. She passes the days weeping for you, missing you sorely and stalling all the suitors that pressure her to marry one of them. Her loyalty is the last thing you have to worry about – it's her hope slipping away and the loyalty of her and your servants.

I will be honest with you: I always knew, that you would return home alone and in secret, after much suffering, but I couldn't go against Poseidon, who is my father's brother. He begrudges you still, because you blinded his son Polyphemos (even though that shitfaced Kyklops really had it coming). But it was my father's will, that you would come home eventually.

Listen: right now, you are in the harbour of Phorkys⁸, the Old Man of the Sea. Over there is a cave, dedicated to him and the local Naiades, who you always honoured with sacrifices. And there is the tree-clad Mount Neriton.”

With that she dispersed the fog, revealing the familiar environment.

With a happy cry he sank to the earth, kissed the ground and made a sweet prayer to greet the Naiades he had honoured, while had had been home.

After that, the mortal and the goddess carried the riches into the cave to hide them.

Then they began to plot the imminent doom of the intruding suitors, who were vying for Penelope.

“Thank you for warning me”, Odysseus told her, “Had I come in unprepared, I would have ended up like Agamemnon, slaughtered in my own home, except that it wouldn't be by my dear wife. Please help me, as I plan how to get my kingdom and property back and vanquish the intruders. Stay by my side, as I reclaim what's mine. With your wise counsel and assistance, I would take on hundreds of men without fear.”

Athena smiled. “Gladly will I be by your side through it all, my mortal friend.”

.

A risky thing for any deity, to call a mortal “friend”.

But Athena was a lonelier goddess than most people thought.

She had surprisingly few friends. And with Ares gone, she didn't even have a rival to regularly spar with (she didn't even know where he was; he had left right after the Trojan War had ended for good, was now the-Fates-knew-where and only occasionally wrote to his family).

Her mortal favourites were as close to being friends as her status allowed.

And she chose them carefully, because she hated when the favour of a god went to a mortal's head. Her favourites had to be sensible enough to not take her goodwill for granted.

.

Odysseus smiled back: “There are no words to express my gratitude, Oxyderkês⁹.”

.

---

.

1) Lotophages: Lotos-Eaters. 2) These Kyklopes are the children of Poseidon and the sea nymph Thoôsa (probably a goddess of swift currents), a daughter of Phorkys and Keto and sister to the Gorgones (among others). They are not to be confused with the Elder Kyklopes, who are the sons of Ouranos and Gaia, or with their children, the Younger Kyklopes, who worked for Hephaistos, before Apollon slew them. 3) Kyanokhaitis: "The (dark) Blue-Haired", an epithet of Poseidon. 4) Ennosigaios: "Shaker of the Earth", an epithet of Poseidon in his function as god of earthquakes. 5) Eurylokhos of Same was married to Odysseus' sister Ktimene. Throughout the Odyssey, he's shown to be a cowardly ass, who constantly goes against Odysseus' orders and undermines his authority. 6) Moiragetês: "Leader/Guide of the Fates", an epithet of Zeus in his function as god of fate. It's also en epithet of Apollon in his function as god of prophecy and oracles. 7) In the actual Odyssey, the prophecy is that the vessel carrying Odysseus home would be turned into stone, shortly before reaching the home harbour. In the original version Poseidon actually does get revenge and turns the ship into stone. It terrifies the Phaiakoi into resolving to never escort sea travellers again. Afterwards, Poseidon creates a mountain ridge to encompass their city and make sure they never escort strangers again. I don't like that version at all, so I took the liberty to alter it and let the innocent people get away. After all, their only "crime" was being friendly and helping a man, who was acting in self-defense, when he blinded a man-eating Kyklops. 8) Phorkys is an old sea god, son of Pontos and Gaia and brother of Nereus (the god of sea bounty and father of the Nereides), Thaumas (god of the wonders of the sea), the whale-shaped sea monster Keto and (perhaps) the whirlpool-shaped sea monster Kharybdis. He represents the dangers of the sea. Together with Keto, he is the father of the most dangerous and monstrous sea deities, the Graiai & the Gorgones (those you know from the myth of Perseus), Thoôsa (the mother of Polyphemos by Poseidon), Skylla and Ekhidna and according to some sources of Ladon, the Drakon that guards the Garden of the Hesperides. 9) Oxyderkês: "Sharp-Sighted", an epithet of Athena.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Evil movie au(Logan´s punishment)

N/A: hahaha I like to punish Logan here.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

Logan Howlett knows two things, one) his name and powers and two)he is not in Toronto anymore, as the smell is different from his old place(no fire this time) and he can detect medical supplies and a hamburger-Oh, looking from the hospital bed and saw a hamburger half-eaten.

His chest is naked and the medical equipment is rendered useless as his healing factor, the door opens and Logan Howlett understands why his shirt is off.

An attractive red hair with green eyes and as tall as he is looking at the papers and then back at him "Hello, Logan, thank you for not eating my hamburger" she answers with humour "I´m Jean Grey and this is the X-men we did rescue you from..." her voice is being cut short as Logan is enamoured at her form, such beautiful woman it must be fate.

"My name is Logan" Logan replied in manly voice and wink at Jean as the woman is finaling looking at him "And you´re the most beautiful woman I ever saw"

Jean takes a deep breath and putting a finger on her forehead a man wearing sunglasses shows up. The uniform somehow matches with the gorgeous red hair, of course, they must be related(that´s the only explanation)

"So, he´s already wake, good!" Scott speaks and Jean is immobilizing Logan as Scott is looking at where it used to be the wounds on Logan´s flesh "Yes, that was Death Ray´s work, but, he didn´t count with a mutant with the healing factor"

"Hey, bub, what the hell" Logan exclaimed, Jean is not touching him, but, this...Scott is."Wait, Death Ray? That maniac destroy my house, a friend of yours?"

"Hardly!" Scott speaks in a chipper tone "But you know him, we can talk about this, in fact, we have lots of talk about, Jean" Scott turns and face the woman with a soft smile "You were right...again"

"Oh, Scott who is keeping track of those things" she smiles and is clear she´s doing that "Ok, have fun with your interrogation, honey"

Honey? No...no, maybe they are over affectionate siblings.

"I won´t have, but, thanks honey" they kiss and Logan is sure the universe is playing mind games with him. "So, Logan, tell me about the incident of Death Ray"

Logan only has the strength to ask one thing "WHY?" __________________________________________________________________________________

Logan´s information about the incident with Death Ray was useful and Logan is more than welcome to stay with the X-men(his part does not matter as Jubilee speaks on his behalf-"he´s a hero on his own right and the X-men always look out for other mutants") and once Logan has nowhere to go...he accepted temporarily.

Jean is training with the new students and Logan can admire her red hair-she´s so pretty. Professor X  is forming a small team with veterans to illustrate how to survive certain situations. This time they won´t use the danger room, they are in a different room as Professor X wants to test a theory.

Logan can´t resist throwing a jab at Scott( their conversation stay fresh in Logan´s mind like a nightmare) as his name is Cyclops and is not really matching with the aesthetic here.

"And you? you´re wheels?" Logan points at Professor X who is looking torn between wanting to explode his head and to let this one slice. "Cyclops? What you can do? Stare at the enemy?"

"No, something lame like this" Scott take his glass off and launch Logan two floors below. Jean laughs at the scene. Kitty enters in the scene to see a Wolverine leaving from a caterer and muttering like a Looney Toon.

"What is happening?" Kitty asked Ororo who only shurgs at that.

_______________________________________________________________

Wolverine is watching as Jean is talking with Wanda, the latter is not very enthusiastic about it and Logan can only guess that Scarlet Witch won´t join Jean´s team with a big smile on her face.

"Jean!" Logan blocks the way, Scarlet Witch takes this opportunity to run away from Jean, much to the older woman dismay as she is now facing Logan alone. "I volunteer!"

"This is not Hunger Games, Logan" she speaks bemused.

"I can be an asset for your team, let me help, Jean!" Logan is ready to declare his undying love to Jean Grey and this only increase her bemused expression.

"Let me think about it...Oh, right, NO!"

_____________________________________________________________________________

Nightcrawler breaks in, much to Scott´s dismay, and is talking with his younger sister until she is called by Ororo(they have a silent agreement that as long Kurt never disturbs her flowers, she won´t snitch him to Scott) to training and now Nightcrawler is hanging in the mansion...literally.

He saw Kitty Pryde carrying a pile of books and for a moment he thought she was about to study, but, the movements are far too erratic now...or is this how American study?

Before Kurt has the chance to ask what she´s doing, a Canadian is a blast away from the wall to wall, for a moment, for a tiny fraction, Kurt thought Scott has gone mad and was ready to use his blades to save Shadowcat if necessary, yet, the man rose from the ground with his wounds healing in a minute.

Oh, there´s that.

"I want to talk with Jean!" Logan replied.

"But I like to talk to you, Logan..." Scott smiles and maybe it would lead to a second round, until, Shadowcat had enough.

"STOP! JUST STOP" Kitty speaks now furious her books were saved by luck, however, a second attack won´t help anything in the room to survive. "Scott, you´re the leader of the X-men, you can´t just pick fights inside the house...and look, you could have destroyed a book or worse, my computer" and then her petite form faces the almighty Wolverine "Logan, Jean is dating Scott, she said no to you multiple times, LET IT GO"

Nightcrawler is amused. _____________________________________________________________________________

The X-men like to do celebrations and this is one of the few times as Scott and Jean don´t bother Kurt with his "breaking in" habits, today, is a joyful occasion and Kurt has to admit, it is a pretty occasion. Love is in the air. Jean and Scott are going to get married.

This party is to celebrate this union. Nightcrawler is dress for the occasion (while his blades remain) and everyone is drinking champagne and talking about the happy couple, well, not everyone has anything nice to say about the couple.

"He´s short than her...how he will kiss her? using a chair?" Logan asked drinking his beer and dressed as a sad cowboy. "The height difference is too big"

"Ah, I´d think Jean does not mind for that, she loves Scott and he loves her, tall short...besides...height differences are cute" Kitty explains her point not minding to be gentle with his feelings(not when her books were almost destroyed by his obsession) and at the same time is not noticing how she´s close to Nightcrawler and how he´s taller than Kitty.

Ororo is ever the peacemaker(Kitty has to admire that on Storm) and tries to make sure Logan won´t cry, ops, too late.

Well, is Kurt´s time. "Logan, there´s an old saying that goes like this "there´s plenty of fish in the ocean" you Americans love to use this quote...she´s in love with someone, so, the only thing to do is to be a better man and get over, again, plenty of fish in the ocean"

"Elf, I´m Canadian" now his tears stops and his claws are popping.

"I see no difference," Kurt speaks and Logan is now chasing Kurt, who in turn, is not afraid of this.

"Ororo?"

"Well, at least he´s not crying...."

_________________________________________________________________________

A few days later in a bar, Nightcrawler is drinking with Wolverine as they are talking about, well, anything, to beer, to insane theories and to mutants.

"I won´t say that again, so hear me good, elf, thank you for making me see the light" Logan speaks and goes back to his beer.

"Oh, stop you from being a creep who keeps stalking Jean and Scott? You Welcome!" Kurt replied smugly.

"I´ve to ask...and Shadowcat, I wasn´t totally blind by my stupidity...you do keep interacting with Kitty...in fact, you away too friendly with her"

"Yes, but rest assure, I won´t stalk Kitty, one of us already had the stalker label"

"I was crazy over Jean because I thought she was the one who saved me from that Death Ray guy...yet, it was Quicksilver and...Cyclops"

"You must feel like a fool now!"

"Why Am I drinking with you?"

"Cause we´re friends!"

[zrtranscripts]

Home Front, Mission 18: Lair of the Abhorroghast

Buff Up Your Burrow

~

[radio cycles past a snippet of music and some static before landing on the Abel frequency]

SAM YAO: Hello, runners, and the rest of us. Is your tent untidy? Is your pre-Z-Day ruin run down? Sorry, I sound like an advert for limescale remover. [advertisement voice] “Bang, and the horde is gone!” Yeah, not so much. Still quite a lot of zombies on the loose.

What I was trying to say is that I've noticed my own little shack getting pretty filthy lately, which is all because of the horde situation and definitely not how it normally is. Now I know housework probably isn't the first thing on your mind right now, but well, since we're not going anywhere, I figured we could have a tidy up together. It'll be fun!

If this was Janine, she'd probably tell you how to clean your regulation domicile with military precision and a toothbrush, but she's busy installing a backup backup generator. And while I was looking for the mop, I found an old Demons and Darkness module Runner Fourteen picked up last month, [sinister voice] The Lair of the Abhorroghast.

Now maybe I'm just missing Abel game night, or maybe it was the box hitting me on the head, but I reckon with a few creative changes and a bit of imagination, we can combine playing Demons and Darkness with a good old spring clean! All we need to do is replace dice rolls with various cleaning tasks and bob's your, um, halfling paladin uncle.

Now, okay, I know it sounds a bit bonkers, but you can do whatever cleaning jobs you fancy, you don't have to D&D it up with me unless you feel like it. So well, let's see what it says on the game box. Okay. Aha. [dramatic narrator voice] “Deep in his labyrinthine lair, the Abhorroghast gnaws on the world's heart, guarding a fabulous treasure, the Madman's Crown. Dare ye brave this den of dread and face the terror below the earth?” Figurines sold separately. Just as well we're doing this by radio. Judging by the state of the box, I think most of the figurines are inside a zombie.

Anyway, [clears throat, adopts dramatic narrator voice] gather your party, bold adventurer. Arm yourselves with weapons of power and wizards potions. [own voice] Well, you know, rubber gloves, mop, broom, cloths, cleaning supplies, all the essential adventuring kit. Have a bit of a tidy up while you're at it and prepare to cleanse the [sinister voice] Lair of the Abhorroghast! [own voice] Right after this song, which definitely always makes me think about hideous creatures from the demon dimensions.

~

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instructions]

SAM YAO: [clears throat] Beneath this endless maze of twisting blackened trees and damned spires of stone lies the lair of the Abhorroghast. The entrance gapes like a bottomless maw with stalagmites for teeth... Hmm, hang on. Which ones are the pointy uppy ones and which are the pointy down ones? You know what? It doesn't matter.

[clears throat] ... like a bottomless maw with fangs of solid rock. Like the worst halitosis imaginable, clouds of noxious choking vapors fume from the cave mouth. To reach the lair and cleanse it for good, you'll first have to dispel this evil miasma.

And you know what's a breeding ground for evil miasmas? Commonly-used surfaces like doorknobs and light switches. Ministry guidelines say to give them a good old wipe down daily to get rid of any zombie bits you might drag in with you. Most household cleaners will do the trick, or anything with bleach if it's diluted. Now make sure to keep the bleach outside of your body and wipe it off with a wet cloth. So start dispelling those evil miasmas and yeah, hold on, just uh, finding my place. [mutters rapidly] Start to dispel this evil miasma...

As you use your magic to clear the foul air, a haughty elven voice rings out. [high-pitched breathy character voice] “Ah, another adventurer. Well, lucky I found you.” Through the haze, you see a tall elven woman driving back the fumes with her spells. “I am Ameline,” she declares. “Doubtless we have the same purpose here. We may as well work together. The master of this place lies below. His evil leaks even into the earth itself. Come, we must cleanse this ground before it chokes the life from us.”

Well, yeah, what the elf said. Keep cleaning all those door knobs and light switches and maybe you'll be able to find your way into the lair of the Abhorroghast.

~

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instructions]

SAM YAO: The miasma dispelled, you and your new partner Ameline enter the cave mouth. Beyond the stony jaws, you find yourself in what looks like the antechamber of an ancient temple. These are the Halls of Decay, where the dust of a thousand centuries has gathered. Moths feast on fraying tapestries. Soot rains from the rafters. Cobwebs adorn the statues of forbidden gods like a widow's veil. Sounds like my old student flat.

Suddenly from the darkness, another voice calls out. [gruff West Country-accented character voice] “Slow, friend!” A halfling dressed like a weapons rack emerges from the shadows. “Ye want to spend your gold at the bottom of a spoilt pit?” He asks. “Don't ye know to dust for traps?” Now you know, I know what you're thinking, listeners, but dusting for traps is a well-known D&D mechanic that I've just made up. So really go to town with those dusters. You never know what could be lurking on your bookshelves. I'm gonna give the shack a good going over with a dustpan and brush right now.

Uh, now where was I? Aha. Ah, yes. Yes. [clears throat] As you pick your way across the floor, the halfling shuffles towards you, careful to avoid every third tile. “How wonderful,” Ameline drawls. “Another scavenger.”

Kit flashes a gold-toothed grin. "Arr, arr," he says. "Arr, arr..." No, hang on, that's pirate. Hey, but pirates and halflings, are they both from the West Country? Hang on, give me a sec. So... arr ,er... no. Arr! No! Uh... oh, I know! Uh, [Samwise Gamgee voice] boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a – po-ta-toes! Po-ta- okay, got it. Po-ta-toes. All right, my lover. Po-ta-toes. [coughs] Okay.

“Arr,” the halfling says. “Kit’s the name, adventuring's the game. Dungeons like this are packed full of death traps to slice, dice, and spiralize the unwary adventure, and since we're all adventuring in the same direction, I wouldn't want anything to happen to my new companions.”

As if to illustrate his point, he ducks out of the way of a swinging bladed pendulum that almost shears off Ameline's nose! “I'm sure you'd just hate to have all that treasure to yourself,” Ameline says sarcastically. “But worry not, my friend, there's only one treasure down here worth claiming. The Madman's Crown has the power of making and unmaking. The other baubles, you can keep.”

As the elf and the halfling bicker, you make your way slowly, carefully across the dusty floor to the foreboding portal at the hall's far end, watchful for hidden switches and concealed pressure plates. And well, you know, sort of dusting all the household surfaces that need dusting, that kind of thing.

~

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instructions]

SAM YAO: As the ancient dust is swept away, gruesome carvings and inhuman statues emerge from beneath the grime. Easing your way over an obvious tripwire, you come face to face with a hideous cyclops statue, its single eye an enormous sapphire. The treasure does not go unnoticed. “Arr, now what's this?” Kit says, grinning like a pumpkin. “Arr, adventurer, you're a natural. Let's just pry this out for safe keeping.”

“Kit, wait!” Ameline yells. She rushes towards you, too late. As Kit tugs the sapphire free, the floor beneath the three of you suddenly gives way. Down, down you fall until you land with a splat in a deep pit of dark, stinking slime. As you regain your bearings, musty light from the broken ceiling far above illuminates the bones of hapless beasts and unwary travelers, all picked clean.

Ameline grabs your arm and whispers, “Ah, I recognize the signs! This is the Pit of Woe, a slaughterworm broodpit.” Kit scrambles to his feet and draws steel as the cold mud boils beneath you. In moments, the whole fetid floor seethes with huge wormy bodies, trapping the halfling in their grasp, and the rest are coming your way!

Now, fun fact, slaughterworms hate clean floors. That's in the creature compendium. So to defeat them, you're going to need to take a broom to the floors in your home, and you'd better get going. Those slaughterworms are looking hungry.

Yeah. Meanwhile, with her quick reflexes, Ameline helps you up onto an enormous rib cage. As the worms sink their lamprey jaws into Kit's flesh, she hurriedly flips through her books as Kit struggles and the filthy foot-long worms swarm ever closer to your feet. “Ah! Ah, I have it!” she cries at last. “Their bodies must be completely destroyed and the whole area purged of their spores or they'll reform from the filth in moments. Come on, adventurer, we'll clear a path to that halfling fool.”

Ugh! You know, I think I've got some slaughterworms under the cupboards. There's something grim down there, anyway. Oh well, nobody said fighting evil would be pretty. If you want a rescue Kit, you'd better keep sweeping.

~

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instructions]

SAM YAO: Sweeping your way through the mass of ravening slaughterworms, you at last reach Kit, still struggling in their slimy grasp. With one mighty swing of your sword, the worms fall away like ribbons, allowing the halfling to wriggle free. He holds up the sapphire cyclops eye with a conspiratorial wink. “Arr, ye've me thanks, adventurer,” he says. "Oh, and look, our labors were not in vain." "Are we not done yet?” Ameline snaps. “Mop up their remains or they'll reform before we can find a way out. We'll be worm food!”

And by mopping up, I mean like, literally mopping the floor. Well, unless you actually have hideous foot-long worms wriggling around your house, in which case, there might be limits to what cleaning can achieve.

Anyway, [clears throat] you cannot return the way you came. The floor you crashed through is too high to reach, but as you wade through the entrails, you spot a crack in the wall. Mud oozes through it into the darkness beyond. It could be a way out, if you can make it that far. By uh, well, you know, mopping. Some like, really enthusiastic mopping?

~

[SAM alternates between a dramatic game master voice for narration, different voices for characters, and his own voice for asides and cleaning instructions]

SAM YAO: Stained with mud and ichor, you, Kit, and Ameline plow through the swarming worms and stinking mud of the pit to reach the crack in the wall. The tunnel beyond is just big enough for you to squeeze through in single file. Kit leads the way, his flickering torch soon vanishing in the darkness. “It's safe enough,” he calls back. “Better than our prospects here,” replies Ameline.

“Ah, look out!” All around you, slaughterworms rise from the ooze, their lamprey jaws slathering for your flesh. But as you flourish your sword to hold them back, Ameline's staff glows brilliant blue and summons a wave of water. It crashes through the pit towards your tunnel, sweeping up all the worms and spores in its path. You hear a cry from the tunnel behind you as Ameline is caught in the flood, before it engulfs you and then Kit.

[water pours from a faucet] No? Sorry, my foley work is a bit low-tech. The water carries you down the tunnel into the Stygian darkness. What awaits you at the bottom? Treasure, power, or merely a grisly death? Find out when we return to the Lair of the Abhorroghast! [sinister laughter] See you next time.

~

[ostermahaus]

It’s Morphin’ Time!  Eventually... Power Rangers Review

Saban’s Power Rangers opens darkly.  You see a blasted torn up landscape of prehistoric Earth with the Red Ranger dragging himself across it, obviously injured.  He crawls to the Yellow Ranger, also lying prone who morphs into an alien and hands her coin to him, telling him to hide it before dying in his arms.  Yikes.  He morphs into Zordon (Bryan Cranston) and puts his coin with the others he’s carrying, instructing Alpha via communicator to fire a meteorite at his current location.  He turns to find himself face to face with a female Green Ranger named Rita (Elizabeth Banks) who he accuses of being a traitor and killing his team.  She boasts that she’s won when Zordon informs her it’s too late and a meteor comes crashing down on them sending her to the bottom of the sea.  Also wiping out the dinosaurs, I presume.  I guess nuking from orbit was the only way to be sure. Smash cut to a bunch of jocks leading a bull into a locker room as a prank and we meet Jason Scott (Dacre Montgomery) who informs us that he calmed the cow down by milking it.  Womp womp.  Your protagonist can’t tell an udder from a dong, not a great start.  The cops show up and after the most nausea inducing go-pro car chase I’ve ever encountered (Seriously, I saw Gravity on the UltraScreen in 3D and this almost made me vomit) he gets in a horrific wreck and we have a title screen. Go go Power Rangers?  If you never watched the show this may seem exciting.  If you did, well here’s why it might not be what you were expecting.

 Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers hit children in 1993 with a blast of popularity that overpowered the Ninja Turtles and kept kids riveted until Pokemon came along at the end of the decade!  A Japanese import, it was cheesy, silly, campy and formulaic and pre-teens ate it up!  As well as some teens.  I was just hitting the age where I felt like I was outgrowing Saturday morning/after school shows (Thank God that phase didn’t last) so I was never a die hard fan, but I knew enough people that were that I kept abreast of the original shows run.  I watched a fair number of episodes with my friends more due to our love of riffing it a la Mystery Science Theater 3000 than anything else…  Although I will admit that Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson)  kept me on board a bit as well.  The premise was simple.  Five teenagers from Angel Grove are given magic coins that allow them to morph into Power Rangers.  Spandex clad ninjas with full coverage helmets who can summon robot dinosaurs called Zords and merge them Voltron style into a giant Mega Zord to win the day.  They answer to Zordon, a giant holographic head, and fight the monsters that Rita Repulsa repeatedly sends down from the moon.  Ninjas, dinosaurs and giant robots.  It was famous for the obvious cut between the American actors doing their day to day thing and the original Japanese footage being used once they were in costume.  Ever wonder why Kimberly was the only Ranger wearing a skirt?  Because the Yellow Ranger in that Japanese footage is a dude.  (The more you know!)  That’s all you needed and it’s still on the air in some iteration to this day!  Why mess with a good thing?  If it’s not broke, right?

 Unfortunately Hollywood is following a current and overused trend of trying to make things dark and gritty when they reboot them right now.  That’s not to say it can’t work, but it really feels like a forced excutive decision by the movie companies some times.  This new Power Rangers update has a lot of things that work really well for it as they try to make a serious and less campy approach to one of the most popular cheese fests ever.  They also make some big missteps.  I know that Zordon famously asked for “teenagers with attitude” in the original and wound up with the nicest kids in town, but this version makes an over correction by having three of them meet in detention and one of them just not go to school at all.  Turns out Jason has to wear an ankle bracelet now and report to detention for the rest of the year and lost all sorts of football scholarships.  As soon as he walks in he sees Billy (RJ Cyler) being bullied for OCD behavior arranging things on his desk.  Jason puts a stop to it and Billy immediately declares him his new best friend for sticking up for him!  I really liked Billy in this movie, but they make a very clear point early on to have him state that he’s on the autism spectrum and they play it pretty well until he becomes a Ranger.  Then it just seems to disappear and he’s merely giddy all the time.  He’s adorkable, sure, and probably the most likeable character but it would have been nice to see them stick to his spectrum tendencies.  Jason is fairly dismissive until he offers to use his skills to hack Jason’s ankle bracelet in order for them to hang out.  How all true friendships begin!

 Next we meet Kimberly Heart (Naomi Scott) who was set up by her cheerleader ‘friends’ for an incriminating picture that’s been circulating around school and they show up to inform her that she no longer gets to be a plastic.  It makes her so angry that she gives herself a kicky new haircut in the bathroom that Jason is immediately smitten by when she returns from the restroom!  After Billy hacks the ankle device, he and Jason go into a restricted area of the gold mine outside Angel Grove because apparently Billy likes to blast there.  Even though it’s an active mine with security.  Shrug  While Billy is setting his charges, Jason goes off to hike around and spies Kimberly cliff diving while We get Zack (Ludi Lin) and Trini (Becky G.) dropped in as just random kids who are also hanging out in an active work zone after dark.  Her to practice her Karate Kid poses and him to watch her through binoculars.  Like you do.  Anyway, Billy’s blast draws them all and they discover 5 glowing coins embedded in the rock.  After cutting them out, they each grab one and then alarms go off, summoning security and another slightly less vomit inducing chase that AGAIN ends in a horrific crash, this time with a train.  The next morning they all wake up at home with no injuries and no knowledge of how they survived the wreck, plus sick abs and super strength!  Wanna know how they managed that without being seen?  Or what Billy’s mom’s reaction is to the destruction of HER van?  (You see the wreck later on being pulled off the tracks)  You’re out of luck!  Anyway, they get together and decide to go back to try to find answers about the coins and discover a buried spaceship manned by Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) and Zordon’s memory in the ship’s computer.  He informs them that they’re the Power Rangers and they need to learn to defend the universe once they can learn to morph!  Eventually…

 I don’t know if it came with the casting of Bryan Cranston but the biggest drawback of this film is that at 2 hours almost every minute of the Rangers suited up has been shown in the trailers because it only happens in the films final action scene, similar to my beef with Godzilla not having enough Godzilla.  There are training montages aplenty and I really did appreciate the effort it made to give the core cast some substance behind there characters that wasn’t there before, but it’s pace could best be described as deliberate.  The film seems to work the best when it’s trying to have some fun and not brooding so much, which is all too often.  The scene of all the nerd kids idolizing Billy after he knocks out a bully without trying and then being in awe when he gets pulled from the table by Kimberly?  Great!  Fun little scene, use more moments like that as opposed to repeated instances of people mispronouncing Trini as DeeDee.  ???  I assume it’s a joke but I just don’t get it and boy do they keep pushing it.  I wish they had done more with Zack as he had a lot of potential in his backstory.  He doesn’t attend school any more because you find out he’s caring for his terminally ill mother but aside from that reveal he just gets all the “I’m gonna shout quips!” style lines.  Don’t try taking a drink every time he calls Trini “Crazy Girl”, it won’t end well.  Jason is fine in his role as the leader, but as is the curse of the leader role (Cyclops, Leonardo), is pretty bland.  Kimberly and Trini are both solid female role models although I wish they would have come right out with Trini’s sexuality/crush on Kimberly rather than just heavily alluding to it.  Although I was disappointed by him dropping the autism traits halfway through, I thought Billy in the second half was the most relatable character.  He’s just so giddy every time they bring up the fact they get to be Rangers!

 I was not a fan of the design choices for Alpha and the Zords.  Alpha was thankfully less obnoxious than the original, but his super long arms on the tiny body just looked weird and creepy.  Props to Hader for making me not hate him!  The Zords…  I couldn’t tell what I was looking at.  I’ll be honest, aside from the T-Rex and the Pterodactyl they could have been anything.  I had to go online after the movie because I couldn’t remember if the Triceratops was Blue or Black because I couldn’t tell them apart.  Turns out it’s Blue.  For as many montages as we were dealt and given the movies run time, I’d have preferred to see them learning their suits and Zords right off the bat as opposed to trying and failing to Morph a half dozen times and then finally getting it right just in time for the final battle where they go in operating things they’ve never used before.  I know I’m overthinking it, but I hate when people just innately know how to use things like that.

 Lastly we come to the villains.  I’ve got really mixed feelings on this part.  I appreciate they wanted to take it more seriously, and I like what they did with Rita but DAMN.  They may have made her a bit too intense for the audience that’s generally associated with Power Rangers!  Banks is great and and she is wonderfully creepy and terrifying but there is a scene where she’s killed some police officers and you see that she’s ripped the teeth out of one and has dismembered/is CANNIBALIZING the other.  This is while she’s still in her slightly mummified state after a fishing boat pulls up her body and it’s horror movie levels of creepy as she gets her power back to create Goldar.  Because he’s made of gold, see?  I don’t quite get her power set because at first she’s brutally murdering people for their gold, then eating it (WTF?) then just pointing at it and drawing it to her in liquid form.  At least she gets to say “Make my monster grow.”

 Overall, it’s not bad.  It’s not as action packed as you’d expect, but what references do show up are all well placed and fun.  You get some cameos and throwback lines.  Ay-yi-yi and what not.  My favorite reference was when two boys were arguing who got to be the Red Ranger while they’re playing and Trini tells them, “Why not Yellow?”  “That’s a girl!”  “How do you know?”  lol  Love the message and the nod to the original Yellow I mentioned earlier, but unfortunately undercut by the obvious sculpted boob armor on Pink and Yellow…  Best moment, bar none, was when they played the original theme.  Unfortunately it’s just one refrain then back to generic orchestration, but the theater I was in was electrified when it came on!  I’m not made of stone, that riff is freaking amazing.  You could tell everyone was a bit bummed when it didn’t continue throughout the fight.  As usual anymore, stay through the credits.  There’s a mid credit scene that I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to call before it happens but it’s there.  LOL at the guys behind me talking loudly throughout the film complaining about the very thing the scene was about and leaving before it happened.  That’s what you get for being terrible movie attendants!  If you were a fan of the show as a kid, I think you’ll have a great time!  If you’re bringing your kids because of how much YOU loved it…  Just be aware it gets really dark and creepy in places and might move a bit slow if they have to wait over 90 minutes to see any Morphin’ Time.

[god-hunter]

Secret Empire: United #1

It took forever to get to this review, but I’m coming at it at a good time, actually. This issue came out a while ago, but once X-Men Blue caught up to the Secret Empire tie-ins, it actually leads into what’s happening here very nicely.

So I’ll just bring up the fact that Hydra has done something interesting with the X-Men.  They gave them their own Nation and protection, which was something I wasn’t expecting.  What’s this cover about then?  That’s what got me interested in this tie-in in the first place.

But hold on...

The X-Men might have been granted a new territory called New Tian, which is great and all...  But, they don’t really want it.  Or maybe better yet, not all of the X-Men see this as the answer.

Which is where X-Men Blue connects to this.  There was a quick moment where the O5 busted out Random and two other mutants from a detainment camp.

Well, this issue featured Random and other mutants fighting back against Hydra, which was really cool to see.  Boom Boom, Sunfire, someone named Frenzy and Magik are sort of the main players in this issue.

Not to mention Emma Frost, Beast and Xorn, who are running the New Tian operation in cooperation with Hydra.

What I liked the most about this one-shot was that it unraveled a few complicated layers.  Emma, Beast and Xorn aren’t exactly the bad guys here.  They’re just cooperating in hopes of survival.  But I think Emma knows that it’s not working.  And that’s sort of what that cover alludes to.

More details below.  And believe me.  There’s plenty.

[SPOILERS]

This issue started at “The Sovereign Republic of New Tian,” and already I was confused.  The title page gave some exposition, but I’d rather see it explained and created in panel.

Anyway, we get to see what life is like in the streets of New Tian.  Mutants are definitely in the majority, and the law is on their side so much, that we actually see Mutants abusing that power very easily.

Some mutant picks on a human for no reason, then two officers  - [decked out in black jackets with huge yellow X’s on it, ala Cyclops from Grant Morrison’s run. That was a very nice touch.] - question the human for picking on him.  They take the mutant’s word at full face value, when he was clearly lying, and they threaten to arrest the human when he didn’t even do anything.

That was pretty wild to see, but we’re not even 2 pages in yet.

Random is driving in a van and someone in the shadows is telling him to “Stay Inconspicuous.”

[That’s important.]

They drive up to a border line that reads Hydra Nation.

And this is where Random, Sunfire and Freny jump out of their car and declare “DEATH TO HYDRA!”

[Coming at this fresh from X-Men Blue #7 is actually an awesome treat. Recall that in that issue, Jean and the gang busted Random out of a detainment camp.  So it’s like this is their revenge plot.  I love it.]

Sunfire and Frenzy make great strides against the Hydra goons at this border station.  But then the Superior Octopus comes rolling in [who was relatively very new at the time.]  It’s amazing seeing him overpower Random and Sunfire easily.  Frenzy escapes with Random, but unfortunately Sunfire is left behind.

We get to see a fair bit of planning/chatting at The Hydra High Council Chambers.

This is where we see Steve Rogers decked out in his Hydra Supreme Leader garb.  He is sitting at a table with Helmut Zero, Madame Hydra, Viper, Arnim Zola, Doctor Faustus, Kraken and the Hive.

[The sight still sickens me, no matter how much I get used to it.]

Basically Zola tells Steve that he should punish the mutants for this insolence.

He flat out insists, which causes Madame Hydra to get upset for talking to his superior like that.  Rogers says it’s fine, and we move on.

On TV an unmasked Sunfire in prison garb threatens that he’s gonna keep this fight up until the situation changes.

They all discuss what they should do.  Rogers holds firm though that, “We will not retaliate with force. Not yet.”

Meanwhile, at Xorn’s throne room in New Tian, Sebastian Shaw, Archangel, Beast and of course Xorn are fascinated by this news.

Shaw is all about fighting back, Archangel notes that violence and tension has risen immensely.  And Beast is worried about the bigger picture.  He thinks that they should negotiate Shiro’s release in order to preserve peaceful relations.

Xorn decides that “a team of capable-but-expendable mutants” should be put together to enact a rescue mission.

This team consists of Magik, Boom-Boom, Strong Guy and Marrow. [and Shaw too.]

Cutting straight to the action, they can’t teleport, but they do use a ghost-like magic to go into a Hydra Detention Facility undetected.

Only... they’re very detected by Scarlet Witch.  Along with her are fellow Avengers Vision, Deadpool and Taskmaster.

I really enjoyed this battle.  Like, a lot.

Strong Guy rips through a wall to go collect Shiro.  Taskmaster faces Shaw, Boom Boom against Vision, Marrow against Deadpool. [He brings up that her bone blades are “soooooo late 20th Century, Amiright?”  I got a real kick out of that.

When things aren’t working, Shaw tells them all to switch dance partners.

Magik is able to overpower Vision with her Soulsword, Boom Boom pantses Deadpool and shoves her bombs in his ass, which blow him away.

Scarlet Witch is caught off guard by a freed Shiro.

This leaves only Taskmaster against Magik, Shiro, Strong Guy, Sebastian Shaw, Marrow and Boom-Boom.

Taskmaster drops his sword and shield and says, “...ah forget it. Get outta here. I’m not being’ paid enough for this [shit].”

[Hahaha! I loved that.]

The next morning, there was more conversing among the Hydra Council.  Steve is upset that Sunfire was stolen from them and he decides to meet with Beast, in his Captain America combat gear.

They converse in the limo briefly on the way over to New Tian, but there’s nothing worth noting.

Beast takes him to King Xorn and closes the door behind him.  But then, we find that Emma Frost was really the one Steve wanted to meet with.

Steve smiles impishly and says, “You can come out now...”

We find that Emma has been mind-controlling Xorn this whole time, which confuses me.

He asks Emma what her deal is.  “You think you can attack us and get away with it?”

On the contrary, she shows him that there’s a rat amongst his council.

“I did send a Strike Team to retrieve Sunfire, but that was only to confirm my suspicions about the cause of this clash...  Look what I found buried deep within Shiro’s mind...”

It was Dr. Faustous who was the shadowed figure in that van.

[Wait, what?]

“Once you have met the target, you will attack with all your might and cry forth-- ‘Death to Hydra! Mutants fight for freedom! Down with the Fascist Regime!”

[Damn.  So it looks like Faustous is trying to bury Hydra from within??]

Steve thanks her for this information and basically tells her it’s all good.  They’ll continue to cooperate and he’ll deal with Faustous.

After he leaves, Emma gets dramatic in her diamond form and reveals to us that she has a cosmic cube fragment.  “You think it’s all under control. Just you wait... I’m full of surprises.”

After that, we see Cap do a PR thing, with I think Forge(?)  He’s shaking a mutant’s hand, I guess it doesn’t matter who.  And the point is that the news is reporting that Hydra is once again in full cooperating with New Tian, despite the recent tension that arose the other day.

The Council looks at this news, confused.  They question their Supreme Leader as such when he joins them.

Steve just explains to them that he took a risk in meeting with the Mutants and doing PR, but that it was worth it.  They all need to work together to “advance [their] shared goals.”

He looks at Zola and Faustus when he says, “All of us must know our place and serve... Loyally and Humbly...”

He pounds his fist on the table, “...Or be destroyed for the betterment of the nation.”

-End-

This was a one-shot, but I want more.

I’m glad X-Men Gold and Blue are tying into this.  I think Gold will be doing more tie-ins than Blue, but either way, yeah..

This was a good issue.  Very world building, with much needed content for our X-Men, who are almost always left out of events, or self-contained to the point where even if they’re included it doesn’t really feel like it.

...Now, reviewing this one was important, because it tells us that Secret Empire #5 is next!

So I should do that one.

Then I guess, look forward to any X-Men Gold or Blue tie-ins from there.