#unprocessed band

[vulcanette]

from SNOWLOVER by Unprocessed

[surnumanaja]

eat dust, compete, dream bad at night, repeat, eat dust, compete, dream bad at night, repeat

[wishfulreverie]

🎶 I was the same no matter where, in the world of my despair 🎶

[bijoubetrayal]

there is not enough unprocessed on here so ill feed u soon

[josiebelladonna]

good god.

do you ever see a photo of your favorite band after not seeing them for a while and feel that a.) they not only got old despite actually not being that old; and b.) …they’ve kind of become the villain after having lived long enough at this point.

[lauratheghost]

Top 5 Bands I wanna see in 2025:

- Unprocessed

- The Home Team

- I Prevail

- Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows

- Dead Poet Society

(and Sleep Token every time they tour... This goes unsaid by now)

[0utcsts0utlet]

Current favorite song this week

I am learning about this band and they are so dope

[justdonaa]

Rain by unprocessed

[crmsndragonwngss]

Thinking about that guy on fb who tried to tell me Sleep Token isn’t a prog metal band because they mix other genres into their music, oh and also he mostly listens to prog and they just don’t sound prog, trust me bro, so I looked at the last.fm he has linked on his page and he listens to two prog metal bands and then like fuckin Volbeat and Disturbed?????

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 16: Beren, Luthien, and the fourth wall,

through which Pengolodh needs to be punched a little. Or at least frightened.

So… This chapter is a lot.

First we get a remainder that we are in a narrative frame: there are many stories but this one is the best. So I, Pengolodh, will make sure it sounds proper.

Also, why is the Lay of Leithian… I thought "Leithian" was some variant of Luthien, but it's "Release from Bondage". What. Why. I guess it's that one scene where she takes Sauron's island?

Before I proceed: I wanted to say that writing a love story dedicated to your wife and overloading it with meanings is an absolutely valid thing to do. And beautiful.

Yes, this is an opinion I will stick with. No, it doesn't mean that I think everything in B&L is coherent or well-written. Most is, but there are places that stick out.

So we start with Beren. He lives with his fatherr and a band of outlaws and… they worship a (lake? river? translation unclear.) because Melian had hallowed it.

They are so competent that Morgoth tells Sauron (his 2nd in command) to kill them all.

Again we have a character with unprocessed grief (nor surprising, as he doesn't know whether his wife is alive or dead) and it is the entry point for the forces of evil. So, Gorlim. Sauron pulls the Dune-like thing on him. I wonder which was first. Jirt didn't like Dune, but had read it.

Beren sees Gorlim's ghost, in the (hallowed?) water, which is an interesting place for a ghost to appear. good for him I guess?

What is the thing with hands? Beren attacks the orcs and grabs his dead father's hand with the ring of Barahir. Unclear which hand was that. Also, he becomes vegan.

Beren is so competent that he gets a "wanted" poster Morgoth offers a prize for his head. As high as for Fingon. OK, so Morgoth gives money for killing important people? Or at least offers money? We aren't told if he ever actually paid anyone. But the orcs still prefer to run away, so he sends Sauron + a whole army and his werewolves.

How competent can one guy be?

Also, we get an explanation of what werewolves are. Terrible ghosts imprisoned in wolves' bodies and posessing them. This chapter has more on werewolves then the whole rest of the book.

So, Beren has to evacuate through Spider-land. Which he manages to do. (Seriously, how many Fate Points does this guy have?)

Luthien is so beautiful that he falls in love instantly. I would be more comfortable if Tolkien didn't show falling in love as simultanously a) totally uncontroleable result of beauty, and b) impossible to not turn into action. But Beren is a good guy so he is polite, he just admires her and stuff.

Also, she's got the exact same poetic colors of hair and eyes as Elrond, which makes sense. Or, more precisely, Elrond as her.

Fate this, fate that, I get the point but don't like the language.

Beren gets kind of sick, because he has to gain more Fate Points pays for the great destiny he is going to get.

I am not going to repeat that part I complained about already. Let's just say there's a lot of "she/they were the most X of everyone in all times" and this sounds, well, poetic but not factual. (Also, they are "the most happy anyone has ever been". )

Daeron snitches on Luthien (part 1). Thingol is sad and confused and asks questions. Beren says "I found what I didn't seek, but as I found it I will never give it up" and that is a really good line.

Thingol, of all people, complains of having made a hasty oath. :D

Beren would take death before dishonor. Also shows Finrod's ring and Thingol isn't very impressed. (I think this may be used as a counterargument to "Finrod should have written to Thingol" — Beren has already shown the credentials he could get from Finrod. What additional things could Finrod tell Thingol?)

We get a description of the ring of Barahir.

Melian tries to calm het husband down, but he is upset and resentful at Beren. And he says that he desires the Silmaril (does he? Did he desire it before he said that? Unclear)

At least Thingol says that with the Silmaril he will give Luthien to Beren if she will want to, which is very proper of him. Also he mentions the "fate of Ards is tied to the Silmarils" thing. Everyone realizes that he just wants Beren dead (so I guess it is a fact?)

Beren is very chill. He says "bye" to Luthien, bows. And then he moves the guards and just walks away ignoring them which is an awesome way of leaving.

Melian is worried, Thingol says that Beren will not return, and if he (thingol) believed that there is any chance of success for him, he would kill Beren, promise or not.

We have a lot of "Lay of Laithian says" so I guess this is suposed to be a later edition... I should do a reread (well, first read tbh) on the Lay one day. But it's hard to read with focus.

Beren goes to Nargothrond, and (so that the guards don't shoot him) yells often that he is Barahir's son. Which must have looked quite funny.

Also, Turgon isn't the only one with "shoot the intruders" policy, but Finrod's one seems less strict.

Finrod talks with Beren behind closed doors (I think it's because C&C. Finrod isn't naive, he's just… idk. Anyway this is a smart move.) Also he is surprised and sad and heavy-hearted because he realizes he's going to have to die. At leats he doesn't try to weasel out of his fate.

Also, Finrod says a lot of interesting / strange things:

the Oath is on again. So, we are in the "oath is an active thing" situation. Probably.

there is a "curse of hatered" on the Silmarils. (Huh??? Who cursed them? I don't remember Fefe cursing the jewels, he cursed many other things…)

who speaks their name with greed, awakens poweerful forces (WHAT? So… Thingol is greedy about the jewel? And it triggers the Oath? Or what? that's… a whole new conceptual area to explore)

the Feanorians would rather destroy all lands then let anyone else have a Silmaril (I'm not sure how true this is but him saying this tells us something about C&C)

the Oath "rules over the princes of Noldor" (What. Finrod, my guy, you are a Noldorin prince too. Also, what. What about their free will?)

C&C are a problem but Finrod won't break his word to Barahir, so we all are deep in trouble

Finrod makes a speech, expects support from his people. It's not said what kind of support. He doesn't say he is going to attack Angband directly.

Celegorm takes out his sword and quotes the Oath. That's pretty metal, but also definitely not good. Curufin is apparently more polite now (iirc he was brash some chapters earlier, I guess he learned. Or it was Celegorm too?). Citizens of Nargothrond are scared of war, they get sneaky, start using poison and generally turn Nor Great from this time on. Huh.

The Doom of Mandos awakes in C&C's hearts and gives them evil thoughts. This is a very close paraphrase. Excuse me, what? Pengolodh, what have you been drinking? something made by Namo (or one of his Maiar, which I find more likely, but anyway) makes them think evil things? Go home and check your phrasing, seriously. This sounds so off. Unless it's the translation again?

Finrod appeals to pity and gets ten guys to follow him. I agree that this speech of him doesn't sound great and … I think he just feels sad and abandoned and does some emotional blackmailing here. and Finrod is awesome but not so awesome to never do anything wrong. It's not terrible, but, yes, I think he would be better without it.

[Which implies that if it was just him and Beren, Sauron would not try to kill Beren earlier. Which… makes some sense. When you have 12 prisoners, killing one as an example isn't a lot. when you have just two, you need to use subtler means of persuasion. (sorry for a bit of Sauron PoV ;) )]

Still, Edrahil is pretty cool here. I like him. Yes, those two opinions can coexist and it is an important point.

The song duel. Finrod picks "Of secrets kept," as his starting line, which makes sense in the context (keeping their disguise) but also, considering what kind of secret had Finrod been keeping (mostly from Thingol, who is btw associated with this quest) for many, many years, I would say it does have a weak point.

So it leads to "In Valinor, the red blood flowing" and we're out.

Luthien feels that things are bad and asks mom and mom tells her that Beren is captured by Sauron. Which she knows. Because she's a Maia, probably? But still, to see into Sauron's dungeons is quite an achievement. Maybe fate was a factor too.

Huan! The dog that is under the Doom of the Noldor! It seems as if this was the reason he later dies at all, that without the Doom thing Huan would be immortal. What even is he. [A lesser Maia. I don't care it's no longer canon, it makes the most sense.]

Also, he never sleeps, his sight and smell can't be deceived and he is invulnerable to magic.

C&C capture Luthien and we have their reasoning explained. So, C&C's logic as told by the narrative:

Finrod and Beren are as good as dead now

so let's let Finrod die

also let's force Thingol to let Tyelko marry Luthien

we will be the most powerful princes of the Noldor

the Silmarils, yea, so let's wait. first we will rule all the Elven kingdoms and then we can work on reclaiming the Silmarils.

No, it doesn't mean that someone else may take them!

Yes, it is explicitely about political power. (But also, Luthien pretty and Celegorm is into her.)

Also, Huan (like Celegorm) understands all creatures.

Finrod dies. Pengolodh edits it heavily. Seriously, I hereby accept this fic as my canon for what finrod said, because the book is lying. Oh wait, no. It is the translation. In the Polish version Finrod literally says "it will be many ages before the Noldor see me" and he says it without "probably" or anything, he says it like a foresight. And we know it is not true, because he got reembodied very quickly.

The original is not that bad. Anyway, it is lacking. It reads like something Celegorm would say in the situation (no offense to Celegorm who had actually been in this situation in early drafts).

[HC time: I imagine Pengolodh as very much the kind of guy to get offended by and cut out anything that looks too strange and … I don't know how to call it. Difficult? He's not terrible, but very insecure after returning from the Exile. He really doesn't want to offend the Valar again and isn't taking the best approach to it.]

And, speaking of Pengolodh and his additions, "so died Finrod, the most beloved descendant of Finwe". Beloved by whom? Certainly not by Finwe. Maybe by the people, but it does depend on which people exactly. Most beloved on the average? Most beloved by Pengolodh?

Pengolodh, my guy, I actually agree with you that Finrod is the loveliest Finwean, but please, could you refrain from using "loved / beloved" and comparisions?

Anyway, song-rescue. This is something even Pengolodh can't mess up describing. Also, Valacirca (Sickle of the Valar, that is: the Big Dipper) mentioned, and … it's a sign of Morgoth's fall? I thought this one was a threat to him. (Yes, let me remind you: there is not one, but two different seven(ish)-star constellations that Varda put in the sky specifically as a threat to Melkor. Also, of all the weapons, a sickle.)

Sauron seems to have a thing with "standing on a high place and smiling/laughing just before he gets wrecked". (Later he does it as Numenor is falling). I hereby HC that just before he noticed the Ring being in the Crack of doom, he also stood high atop his tower and laughted (because Aragorn's army was losing).

I'm tired. I'll cut B&L reread into two parts.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Alright here are ten more albums. These ones are just my personal picks. Some that you prolly don't know and some you definitely do. I think you should listen to all of them because I like them a lot and if you don't like them then I promise I will cry a little.

Lemon Demon - Spirit Phone

Okay so I know that half of you just checked out because this is a 'meme album' and you simply will not take me seriously no matter what but honestly if that's you then go fuck yourself. Anyway Neil Cicierega is an internet fixture. He has brought us animutation, The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny, Mouth Sounds, Potter Puppet Pals, Brodyquest, Ariel Needs Legs, and probably a lot of other things I'm forgetting. So it isn't really a surprise that his first full album under the Lemon Demon moniker in a decade went down as a piece of weird internet errata as well. The thing is, Spirit Phone is a fucking masterpiece.

The subject matter is the occult, conspiracy theories, urban legends, aliens, cryptids, and conservatives. Nothing too weird, but the way he tackles these subjects is. Let's take Cabinet Man for example, it plays on the urban legend of the haunted arcade cabinet Polybius. But Cabinet Man is told from the point of view of the machine itself. It's about a man who turns himself into an arcade cabinet and about his life as an arcade cabinet. The very next track, No Eyed Girl, is a doo wop styled love song written to a lovecraftian horror. And yes this is all very Quirky™ but Cicierega never wink at the camera, he never lets on that this is a joke. Just like unironically here's a song about sexualizing (even if he insists it isn't sexual) eating mummies. Why not? The frenetic pacing always keeps you off balance too so there is no way to get used to the weirdness other than to let yourself be subsumed by it.

"But wait!" I hear you saying "what was that thing about conservatism? What does that have to do with the occult?" I'm glad you asked because I think the funniest thing this album does is deliver three songs in a row that have nothing to do with the rest of the album's main themes. As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It, I Earned My Life, and Reaganomics all satirize American boomer conservatism. I think putting them there after all the conspiracy theory stuff is brilliant. The paranoid, surreal attitudes of the first half of the album contrasted against the equally paranoid and surreal attitudes of conservatives. Finally I just want to mention my number one favorite thing about this album and it's that I Earned My Life is written in the style of Paul Simon's Graceland. That makes me laugh. What an effortless takedown of a legendary artist and album.

Ween - The Mollusk

Ween are a pretty weird band. And my standards for what counts as weird are pretty high. So the fact that their least weird album is this nautically themed psychedelic hellscape isn't saying much. The Mollusk sounds how low tide smells. The album is like the rhyme of the ancient mariner but the albatross is replaced by hundreds of barnacles. It is a decaying mess, but it's also jaunty and fun. Purely stupid nonsense like Waving My Dick In The Wind and Dancing In The Show Tonight are placed side by side with the intense and horror tinged Golden Eel and Mutilated Lips.

Musically Ween are uncharacteristically cohesive. Sure they run the gamut of genres from intense proggy numbers to punk and alternative rock and some showtunesy stuff, but it's all mastered as wet as possible. By the way y'all know when I say a sound is wet I mean heavily processed as opposed to dry which is raw unprocessed audio right? There is copious reverb, chorus and especially phasing on every song until they all sound like waves crashing against a rock.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about The Mollusk is that it is, I think at least, the only Ween album to contain a straight cover. Cold Blows The Wind is just a folk song that Gener and Deaner just play dead straight. That is very unusual for a band that prefers to vaguely mock artists or styles rather than just do them. Of course that track is immediately followed by a song called Pink Eye On My Leg so don't take these guys seriously for too long.

Atom And His Package - A Society Of People Named Elihu

There is no other album that feels more like an inside joke among high schoolers that you aren't privy to the context for. Adam Goren repeatedly name drops his friends and talks about things very specific to his life. The album is a mess of unfettered id where no concept is dwelt on for very long and no hesitation is given before launching into something completely unrelated. The very first track contemplates a hypothetical Punk Rock Academy before losing track of itself and barreling full throttle into an interpolation of Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight. This kind of thing happens a lot. Me And My Black Metal friends interpolated Dexys Midnight Runners' hit Come On Eileen for no apparent reason other than that is what started going through Goren's head at the time. This album has three different birthday songs on it, the first of which has the refrain "Happy Birthday Ralph, I love you, even though you are fucking disgusting." Who is Ralph? You aren't asking the right questions.

Oh yeah and this album is entirely just a guy singing over a drum machine and keyboard. But it's also kind of a punk rock album. Atom And His Package don't sound super punk at first glance, but he has the ethos. And structurally, well there's a little more punk rock in here than you might expect. I'll stand by A Society Of People Named Elihu as a punk rock album because it's funny and I think that is what Adam Goren would want.

TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain

There's a lot of art rock out there that I'm totally in love with. But TV On The Radio are on a different level. They are extremely catchy, but also different than anything else around them. They exist somewhere in between 00s post punk revival and, uh honestly I don't know. I thought something would come to me as I was typing this. There is nothing to compare the unique use of drums and percussion to create both rhythmic and textural elements while the bass guitar makes up the majority of the melody. The members of the band all harmonize beautifully on vocals and when you break the songs down you find just a few instruments being layered into a looping, spiraling current of sound. A Method and Dirtywhirl especially sound like they are physically spiralling. They use looped percussion and bass, repetitive singsong vocals, and thrumming rhythms to create a completely unique sonic landscape that is both overwhelming and extremely addictive. It is too easy for me to finish this album and then put it back on again because there is nothing else that scratches the itch this album gives me.

Between The Buried And Me - Colors

I don't usually like to be this absolute, but Colors is my favorite metal album. Between The Buried And Me are consistently amazing but Colors is the best showcase of their range and fluidity with which they traverse various styles. At a base level Colors is a progressive metalcore album, a genre which has probably just turned a few people off of listening. But if you aren't usually into metalcore don't fear there is a lot more going on here than bad screaming and bad chugging. No BTBAM weave together intense thrash like riffing, high speed guitar solos, intense screaming, melodic jazzy solos, chromatic breakdowns, catchy clean vocal segments and frequent tempo changes with an artistry and ease that makes it hard to notice when the style does an abrupt change. Every linking segment is so natural that the tech death screams in Sun Of Nothing will transition to the melodic refrain without any sense of tonal dissonance. Even when you hit the end of Ants Of The Sky and hear them go into a full bluegrass hoedown it is just completely natural. No other album makes 10+ minute songs go by so fast. There are so many hour long metal albums out there that drag on for the sake of length alone and Colors just shits in their faces and proves that you can go on for an hour and keep an audience completely engaged the whole time.

They Might Be Giants - Lincoln

They Might Be Giants are a never ending supply of witty turns of phrase. Some are seemingly nonsequiturs like "tour the world in a heavy metal band / but they run out of gas the plane can never land" others are clever "which one of us is the one we can't trust / you say that I think it's you but I don't agree with that" and others seem like nonsense but probably mean something deeper if you just stop and think about it "how sleepless is the egg knowing that which throws the stone foresees the bone, the bone, our only home is bone". They will get at some wild themes lyrically while still maintaining an upbeat sound. That weird tonal gap is what makes songs like I've Got A Match and They'll Need A Crane into more than just songs about bad relationships. It helps obfuscate the actually bleakness of Lie Still Little Bottle, a song about being addicted to uppers. And it leaves you wondering about the seemingly pure goofy songs like Shoehorn With Teeth and Cowtown. Also you might be interested to know that Where Your Eyes Don't Go is a favorite song of local Tumblr Celebrity™ Neil Gaiman. So there's your seal of approval if you needed one.

Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe

Vaporwave is such a beautiful genre. It is a musical consomme where other songs are melted down until there is nothing left but the essence of the original piece. A distinctly recognizable flavor, but rendered into broth. The idea of taking a song and picking out very specific bits and then slowing them down repeating them over and over until you have turned the ten second sample into a five minute song is incredible.

Floral Shoppe is not the first, and maybe not even the best vaporwave record, but it is the blueprint that a lot of artists would seek to imitate. The track リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー (Lisa Frank 420 / modern computing) made some waves for having a very overt and recognizable sample and leading to people joking that the genre was just "Diana Ross slowed down". And derogatory as that sounds it is also true. The song is seven minutes of just the chorus of Diana Ross' It's Your Move looped, slowed down, and otherwise abused until it just isn't the same song anymore. What Floral Shoppe did was bring the idea of the transformative property of context to a wider audience. The question of authorship is essential to vaporwave. Most vaporwave artists will use one off monikers for albums. In fact Macintosh Plus is a one off project under the larger Vektroid umbrella. Vektroid herself is one of the most prolific and significant vaporwave artists out there and honestly I don't even think Floral Shoppe is her best work, but it is the most important.

But is it good? That's the real question. The philosophical implications of art are nice and all but is it good to listen to? Yeah it's extremely enjoyable. Listening to Floral Shoppe is like living in a slightly fucked up betamac tape that is playing commercials for new shopping malls. It captures a sense of nostalgia, but also warps it into a surreal dreamscape. Parts stutter, they loop just before the part of the song you know plays, they are repeated over and over until you feel like something is wrong. The nostalgia is recontextualized as something artificial. Like it is reminding you that the way you feel about the past is manufactured. Your memories are already corrupted by capitalism and if you could see through the matrix you would hear the broken mechanisms underneath.

The Field - From Here We Go Sublime

The Field is hard to pin down. While basically a tech-house project it is also quite a bit unlike other tech-house/minimal/ambient techno projects. I was enthralled the first time I ever put on this record. There's something ethereal about the heavily altered vocal samples. Every sound rendered distant and breathy. This is the sound of the sun glaring off of fresh snow in the winter. This is the sound that plays when you transcend your human body to become a being of pure energy. If the obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey was a DJ this is what it would play. It is impossible to not feel subsumed by this music, to want to just close your eyes and imagine you are floating. From Here We Go Sublime is one of the prettiest albums I have ever heard and I think even people who aren't into techno might be able to appreciate it.

The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free

Look me in the eye. I'm serious look at me. Mike Skinner is a good rapper. No I'm not joking. No I don't like this album "ironically". A Grand Don't Come For Free is one of my top ten hip hop albums of all time. Right up there with Nas and J-Dilla and Kanye and shit. Skinner's flow is unconventional and, at first glance, very bad. But what he is doing is incorporating a very casual conversational style into his rapping to help communicate the personalities and moods of the characters in the story.

Oh yeah by the way this is a concept album. It's about Mike, his two friends Dan and Scott, and his new girlfriend Simone. Mike loses 1000 pounds, gets really paranoid that one of his friends stole it, and then let's that paranoia ruin all of his interpersonal relationships. The album starts by setting up the list money and various aspects of Mike's life like his new romance and gambling addiction to set up the very everyman vibes. As Mike rambles through awkward small talk, bad decisions, bad relationships, and the slow burn out of his empathy he becomes actually really relatable. Every time Mike does something that is frustrating and stupid it just kinda endears him to me. I want to see this idiot do better. Even on Get Out Of My House where he is trying to explain to Simone that he wasn't at her place while she was hungover because he was picking up his epilepsy medication and is, by any reasonable account in the right, he sucks so hard at making his point that he still comes off as the asshole. This is punctuated by guest rapper C-Mone actually rapping much better than Mike on her verses. In fact how well a character is rapping is very much tied to how confident they are at the moment with Mike being more noticeably on beat on Not Addicted and Such A Twat and sounding really off on Get Out Of My House and It Was Supposed To Be So Easy.

The beats are not just straightforward things for Skinner to rap weird style over though. The beats often contain weird syncopation and odd rhythms that make it feel like rather than not being able to stay on beat the vocals and the beat are just circling around each other. Always in sync but never knowing each other's exact location. The way these two elements come together creates the backbone for A Grand Don't Come For Free's atmosphere of disorientation and lack of control. Mike's story is ultimately about him trying to latch onto any part of his life that he thinks he can control and constantly having those things slip away from him. He finds the £1000 in the back of his broken TV by the way.

The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ

I got into The Mountain Goats way back when Moral Orel was airing it's infamous third season back in 08. I listened to John Darnielle's entire discography even the very rough first couple of tapes. And after all that I was pretty sure that this was my new favorite band and that no album anyone released were ever gonna top All Hail West Texas, Tallahassee, or The Sunset Tree. Fast forward seven years and I see he's working on a new album. It's gonna be about wrestling. I figure it will be pretty good, because Mountain Goats albums basically bottom out at pretty good. So the album releases, I listen to it, and instantly I know that I have forever been changed. I don't know how many times one man can keep doing this to me, but by God was I changed. I'm kinda into wrestling now as a direct result of this album.

The beauty of Darnielle's writing is that he can tease the meaning out of literally anything. Mountain Goats song don't have grand concepts. Beat The Champ's songs can be summed up easily. "Retired wrestler drives to the next show" "a biography of a wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a biography of a different wrestler that Darnielle liked as a kid" "a guy who takes his gimmick too seriously". But this isn't what the songs are about. They are about feeling tired of routine and being resigned to the fact that this will be the rest of your life. They are about how the world looks through the eyes of a child. They are about finding fulfillment in life even once you have passed your prime. They are about shutting out your emotions until you become a toxic person. These songs aren't about wrestling, but also they are. Beat The Champ made me think about how difficult pro wrestling is. You need a hyperapecific skill set that includes acting, athletics, acrobatic, and improv. And then if you are the absolute best at all those things hing and end up being the best wrestler ever? Well no one really respects pro wrestling so you get fuck all for it. The strange place these people occupy and the emotions that come with it are the perfect vessel for analyzing human experience at large. Wrestling, John Darnielle posits, is a microcosm for all life. We all play parts, we do heel turns now and then, we all fear being unmasked. Wrestlers deal with literal manifestations of human fear and Beat The Champ taps into that to create an album that both comments on human anxieties in a very real way and to humanize the people behind the kayfabe.

[vulcanette]

from SNOWLOVER by Unprocessed

[shireain]

Get to know 9* people ask game!

Tagged by: @misses-anonymous Hi! Lemme drop some facts about myself :)

Last song listened to: Gold by Unprocessed, though it switched over to Portrait by the same band before I could finish this :P

Currently reading: Not really reading anything at the moment, though I have some fanfics I really gotta catch up on! Like The Delphi Solution by Creamium.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Hmmmm hard one, probably gonna have to go sweet!

Obsession: Transformers :D It's taken over my life completely <3

Relationship status: Taken! For 7 years ;) (love you Noodle <3)

Last thing I googled: "track your parcel" :P I was awaiting a gift from a friend, did the google search while I was at work and it said it had been delivered already ;)

Currently working on: A fic that was meant to be for Halloween, but unfortunately I've been having bad headaches lately that have stopped me from writing. I will hopefully have it done soon though, despite being hella late :P It's an AU thing where Pharma and Trepan are catty vampire friends , and Pharma goes to make Tarn a snack ;)

*Tagging: aaaa I'll just tag a few, @rhewkath <3 and @matrim-cauthons-hat :D

Thanks for tagging me! <3

[octuscle]

Hey Support, I don’t know why but I have had the urge to get a new haircut but not just any cut, going completely bald. Got any advice if I should and what to do after?

Well, the other lads at the high school will probably laugh…. And whether the girls will like it… I don't know. But try it out… Hardly any haircut is more masculine than a bald head. But please don't go to some fancy barbershop. I know a bar. They'll cut your hair for free.

Fuck! What have you gotten yourself into here? A dark backyard bar. Full of fellows in leather and army gear. Skinheads. The air stinks of cigarettes, beer and sweat… You take a deep breath. Gather your courage. And say to the bartender that someone sent you for a haircut. It gets quiet all of a sudden. All eyes are on you. All hands on the bulges in the tight leather jeans. A mountain of muscle breaks away from the crowd. A hand in leather gloves grabs your chin. "Son, I have an appointment." The crowd jeers.

You don't really know what's going on. Seconds later, you're kneeling in front of the mountain of muscle, your face level with his bulge, which is only barely held together by the button band of his 501. The black leather of his chaps creaks. And then you feel a long hair cutter going through your hair. Fuck, you can't leave the bulge unprocessed. You beg to be allowed to give the fellow a blowjob. "What's it called?" it booms. "Sir, please, sir!" "First you lick the boots, then you have to earn the cock." Your tongue runs up and down the boots. You feel a draft. Damn, where is your T-shirt? Your own hard-on hurts in the cock cage. And your tormentor takes your chin in one hand and the other presses your head right against the bulge. It smells of sweat, musk and masculinity. While the last hair is shaved off, your daddy frees his cock from jeans and jockstrap. And while the shaving foam is spread on your skull, you suck his cheesy, uncut cock. Your daddy moans. Nevertheless, he shaves off the last remnants of your hair with the wet razor. "Boi, now you get the best aftershave in the world" He pulls off the cock, presses the cock on your skull, cum his load and massages the cum into your head. He pulls you upwards. Fuck, you are naked except for your cock cage and your boots. "It's time for your shower." This is what you've been waiting for. You go into the toilet, crouch in front of the urinal and wait for your skull to be cleared of cum and the remains of the shaving cream. Today is a good day! More than four cocks aim at you.

The job at the garbage collection is okay to earn the money you need for the apartment and your motorcycle. The rest you earn in the bar as a bartender. Or as a urinal. And your daddy will give you pocket money regularly. Life with a bald head is a good life!

Your and other pics @crackstuffers-toys

[branches-in-a-flood]

remember that you will die by Polyphia. if u haven't heard it yet. but it's gotta be with headphones !

Somehow I've listened to Unprocessed a lot more than Polyphia in my life, despite living like 30 minutes from where they started. It turns out I've heard most of these songs, just not the full album at once!

Genesis was a standout for the jazzy/boppy feel and the basssssss god I love a good active bass line.

And of course Ego Death. I was listening while doing some yardwork and like. It's not even overhyped. It's just a god tier song.

I also love Polyphia's sound in general - there's no mistaking them for another band. Tim's production is so precise.

[desceros]

i'm SO bad at making money in stardew valley but i'm SO tempted to get two purple turtles and name them donatello and viola-chan [cries]

i did name mine donatello, and i can confirm that it's SO satisfying. so you have two choices.

one is to take your time, the money will come eventually, etc etc, honk shoo honk shoo

two is to abandon all morals, embrace T H E M A C H I N E, and get your fuckin turtles. i'll give you a few tips based on which skills you like the best so you can gear towards those! i'll rank them in order of most to least efficient in terms of gameplay hours, in my experience. under a cut because i have almost 2k hours in this game And i read the wiki for fun. of course you can do, like, the non coconuts version of these suggestions if you're looking for something more low-key hahaha

farming: this is the biggest money maker hands down. if you have the island unlocked, fill that thing with as much starfruit as you can afford. go to the desert and plant a bunch of oak trees, then tap them so you can get a bunch of oak resin. in the beginning, you can sell as many starfruits as you need (unprocessed) in order to buy up more seeds; otherwise, keep them for processing into wine. start filling up your island farm that isn't farmland with the kegs. fill them up as you make them. sell the wine. you can make hundreds of thousands in a week doing this once you start scaling up and fill the entire farm. you can also do pineapples or ancient seeds which over time will be more profitable since you don't have to buy the seeds, but i find these take a lot longer to get started, so i personally prefer the starfruit. you can also just sell the unprocessed starfruit as it is, and it'll make you coconuts amounts of cash, but it's less efficient than turning it into wine. also, dont worry about aging it. that takes way too long for it to be your sole money maker.

sleeping: on the left side of your island farm, plant a fairy rose. then surround it as much as you can with bee hives. if you do this a couple times, you can get some serious cash by doing literally nothing but passing time.

mining: skull caverns runs where you farm iridium are pretty bog standard in speed runs. first thing to know is that the desert trader will swap jade for staircases on sunday. you'll get a crystalarium out of the community center bundle for the vault; put a jade in it as soon as you can. scale this up as quickly as you can, then get as many staircases as you can. next, you'll want to block pam's door with a chair so she gets to the bus a little more quickly. then have some coffee (or triple shot espresso if you can) on hand, and some luck food (think spicy eel, that sort of thing.) get as many bombs as you can make (or explosive ammo if you can afford it). staircase down as far as you can, then start blowing shit up. don't worry about the enemies. you're here for M O N E Y not glory. salads or gold-star cheese are good foods to keep on hand to keep your health up. magnetism is very important here, so you'll want to have either a magnet ring, a glowstone ring, or an iridium band equipped. come back, smelt all your iridium up, and sell it. you can also do this with radioactive ore when you get there, but it's a lot less reliable than this method. plus you'll get a bunch of other stuff in skull cavern to sell, too.

animals: pigs are the most efficient, though also the most labor-intensive animal. they'll find truffles, and with the farming boost of 40% to artisan goods, it's always profitable to turn them into oil. especially with the new blue grass, it's easy to get to where each pig is finding you several truffles a day. you can also do goats for their cheese and age it in the basement, which is a pretty decent money-maker. ostriches are quite good as well, once you unlock them. i usually have one barn filled with ostriches, and another filled with all the other animals. coop is pretty lackluster in my opinion, best filled with rabbits so you can get lots of feet for gifts.

fishing: so this can actually be a pretty good moneymaker now that 1.6 has buffed it quite a bit. the best way in my opinion is to make some lava eel bait, go to the top of the volcano, fish up lava eels all day, and smoke them. you can make a good chunk of cash this way. also crabpots are very underrated, especially if you have either an ocean of bait makers and the perk to get rid of trash (not my preferred method since i use the trash to get refined quartz), or the perk that makes it so they don't require bait and thus you just collect that good shit every morning. (sidebar, this is a really good way of getting fish for deluxe fertilizer if you're a crafting-type person.) fishponds are.... not great? tbh? so unless you're looking for something very specific (like caviar, the spicy eel drop from lava eels) i don't really bother with them much anymore.

combat: find the new parrot trinket. try to get at least level three if you can, though obvs. the higher the better. pop on some monster musk, go in the mines (best is the dangerous skull cavern mines since that has a 2x monster spawn rate, but if you aren't there yet, i recommend levels 55-70 of the regular mines since those have sprites which are Hella easy to kill, drop coal, and there are a metric shit ton of them), and farm away. this is easier if you use the hammer style (acrobat+artful+3x ruby enchants), as you can abuse the special attack and get massive aoe damage. with the parrot, he picks up a bit of money from time to time, more as his level goes up. you can make some Serious cash doing this. plus selling the drops, things you mine up, etc.

foraging: i..... tried for a long time to think of a good way to make money with foraging. i suppose technically the tree saps would be foraging? and they're.... okay? you could sell wood and hardwood but it's such a waste considering they're so important in crafting. if you're the kind of player who likes to spend all day wandering around the valley looking for forageables, more power to you, but pick one of the passive ways to make money and then have fun doing this. if you want two purple turtles, it's going to take you Years to do it through foraging.