#unpleasant histories
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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grian just hatched ...
#sorry everyone. idk why i drew this#hes a fucked up baby bird.#thats all#my art#grian#new Thing just hatched ugliest beast in history......#his white feathers will turn parrot colors eventually… but currently he’s baby#he just has his undercoat#I feel like I should content warn for this but idk what it even violates#cw ugly baby bird#cw nakey (just born)#cw deeply unpleasant to look at
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So like a critical component of understanding team green and Alicent’s motivation for pushing their claim is completely lost on this fandom because of the fact that it’s so irrelevant nowadays that we wouldn’t even consider it.
But like…for most of human history marriages, especially aristocratic marriages, were binding social contracts that were meant to provide benefits and incentives to both parties. The woman would perform her wifely duties of bearing heirs (sons), child rearing, emotional (and physical - sometimes against her will unfortunately) support, and generally running the household in domestic affairs. And in exchange for these labors and quite frankly difficult and at times harmful tasks the woman was provided with safety from the outside world, all her needs being taken care of, and her children being the heirs. And a woman’s son being the heir means consistent protection into her old age when her often much older husband eventually died.
There was a purpose to marriage outside of love and ambition. But because we are privileged enough to live in a more modern society where marriage is a personal contract for which the technicalities can be selected by both individuals to ensure security and happiness, we cannot really even consider that once upon a time in the not so distant past there was a clear purpose. The man got sons/heirs and the woman got sons/protectors to care for her in her old age.
So when Alicent pushes for her son she has a plethora of reasons: believing in tradition, protecting the lives of her children who have competing claims, consolidation of suffering, etc. But she has one very clear and very reasonable reason that nobody acknowledges. She delivered on her part of the bargain and contract and she wants to collect what she is owed. She produced the sons, she gave the emotional and physical support (against her genuine will), she reared the children, she ran the household domestically and the entire kingdom. She did “everything expected of her forever upholding the kingdom, the family, and the law”. And now it’s time for her to collect her dues now that her much, much older husband is dead. To have her son be king and to be taken care of into her old age.
That is the contract she agreed to. That is the contract almost every woman in history agreed to. I give you a son and I get comfort and security when you (the husband) die and my son becomes the heir.
So I can go on and on about the personal, psychological reasoning that Alicent has that are all perfectly valid. But I don’t have to because at the end of the day she did her part of this marital obligation and contract and she deserves to receive her rewards.
#like you can’t discuss medieval politics and culture#if you don’t know medieval politics and culture#and that means acknowledging things that aren’t fun because it was a very different and unpleasant time#but to truly understand someone from that time…you gotta think like that time#house of the dragon#game of thrones#team green#anti team black#alicent hightower#pro alicent hightower#alicent hightower defense squad#history
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Yeah Ragnar gets the displeasure of meeting this maggot too
#I can’t stop saying the word bogus#this is so….. bogus….#I love historical ocs who are genuinely unpleasant people. not gross- not disgusting- just unpleasant#ermmm what the scallop#artists on tumblr#art#silly drawing#digital illustration#oc#shitpost#horrible histories#Ragnar sverre#ragnarposting
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probably the most accurate way for AU hunter to react to finding out he's a grimwalker would be like
[longest sigh in the world] hOkay.
luz.
i get why you didn't tell me. i 100% understand that you were scared and didn't want to worry me or to make me feel differently about myself. i'm not mad at you about that that's Fine. but also.
luz.
my fuckign MEDICAL HISTORY,
#shoutout to every other chronically ill person who's only discovered a family history of physical illness#in the eleventh hour. bc ur parents very kindly very well-intentioned never told u SHIT.#mom dad why do i know [redacted unpleasant mental illness things] but nothing about all the [redacted physical illnesses]......#hunter knowing he's a grimwalker wouldnt have helped much at the healers anyway. nobody knows shit about it#'but at least they could have CHECKED to see if i was REJECTING MY TRANSPLANTED LUNGS..... LUZ'#'IM SORRY' 'yeah i blame belos more than you. but LUZ' 'I KNOW. IM SORRYYY'#theyre very funny. sorry hunter sorry luz. gonna give u guys niche autoimmune experiences until i die#autoimmune tag#toh#princess luz au#horrible mindscape trauma pals
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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While her husband’s name was the only one on the box—the company crafted a mystique around Scott as a solo adventure-making genius—Alexis contributed to many of the titles Adventure International produced. Some games credit her as co-creator on their title screens, if nowhere else, and one gives her sole billing there: 1979’s Voodoo Castle. A few other women designers had published games by that year, including Carol Shaw at Atari, but Alexis was among the first to receive a visible credit. In a contemporary interview, Scott noted that she built the game “95% on her own” after learning how to use his database system; this also might make her the first nonprogrammer in history to use a domain-specific tool to make a digital game. She dedicated Voodoo Castle “to all moms!” and it featured multiple female characters, including “Medium Maegen,” a hint-dispensing spiritualist named after her daughter—maybe the first woman with dialogue in a video game.
from 50 Years of Text games, discussing Alexis Adams, wife of Scott Adams
I've never played a Scott Adams game. Honestly, I was mostly only familiar with him as an offhand reference, almost a joke, from the old text adventure community.
Back in the time period when I was involved with the yearly IFComp, most games were made with either Inform or TADS (my preference as it was closer to programming languages I was familiar with). There were always a few people who insisted on building their own awkward homebrew engines which lacked the features of the more mature toolsets, and would often be described as "Scott Adams-like", using simple prose and accepting parser commands of only two words at a time, no fluff. At least a few games claimed to be deliberately emulating that style.
Unfamiliar with the name and history, I misunderstood the context and assumed that Scott Adams was some sort of mad auteur, "giftedly bad", deliberately retro or wildly indie, cheerfully releasing games that lacked 'standard' polish and not caring about it because it was fun. I absolutely did not comprehend how old these first games were, nor how important in the history of home computer game sales. And I certainly never heard Alexis' name. Sadly, she's no longer with us.
#game development#text adventure#interactive fiction#scott adams#history#i WANTED to tag this 'invisible women' to talk about the phenomenon of female contributions to art/science achievements being erased#but unfortunately every tag i can think of leads straight into a bunch of unpleasant discourse about something totally different
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as a Japanese fan of bsd you’ve hit the nail on the head to why i hate this fandoms tendency to go with the “oh it’s so disrespectful to the authors” bc yea it’s my hatred of Japanese nationalism and its agenda to portray their cultural exports as untouchable…it also feels infantilizing in the sense where they can’t picture asagiri doing transformative critique of his country’s “classics” and they are adopting that very same idolatry of Japan
It's also such a flaccid, insincere interpretation of respect that is itself inherently dehumanizing. There is nothing untouchable, and substituting discernment for fawning is much worse than being superficially disrespectful, especially when the subject of your disrespect cannot possibly perceive it, and the only beneficiaries of your deference are states, institutions, and ideological concepts.
I've noticed people tend to strip agency and conscious commentary from Asagiri too. It is exceptionally infantilizing.
#idk i also just don't get deferring to anyone absent a reason#there is a baseline respect you should show to others' personhood perhaps. if I believe in baseline respect at all.#but this certainly isn't that.#once someone told me that you shouldn't look into the bsd authors because they were problematic and some were imperialists#and this may seem discreet from the respect point. but they also made the respect point in the same convo.#refusing to look too closely in either case lest you experience something resembling discomfort or contradiction or tonal dissonance#but by refusing to look where you think there may be something unpleasant#you are training yourself. to look away. when there is something unpleasant.#you are taking real people and real events and real violence and willfully teaching yourself not to recognize them or their patterns#ensuring they will happen again#i have “passivity is the crucible of subjugation” tattooed on the back of my thigh and i fucking mean it#also like more often than not you're being defensive for a wholly separate reason and you need to meet your own damn needs#before you start crusading for someone you can't even conceptualize as a person rather than a theme#i'm trying not to rant about how wildly unhelpful it is to refuse to engage with the nasty parts of fear and humanity and history#and how quickly abstractions become viciously harmful#but I have some more work to do before I can go to sleep#and i need to sleep. because i do not respect the only beneficiaries of my exhaustion.
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just read an article from euronews of a holocaust survivor hoping for a united middle east, like the eu, while also denying the accusation of genocide against israel and demanding a two-state solution. it's so fucking sad that a genocide survivor is weaponizing the crimes that were perpetrated against her in order to excuse and deny crimes against palestinians.
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like I'm sorry you believe that the un "gave" land away that wasn't its land to give, and I do think everyone who wants to live in a secular, pluralistic democracy should be able to live there - but ma'am. you literally said you are not going to let genocide happen again and then denied a genocide that is happening right now. and in fact you justify genocide.
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here's the thing - this is the wishful thinking of someone who does not want to acknowledge the reality of occupation and displacement. it is historical revisionism.
let's not forget for a second that this land was not "given" to israel by the un but rather that it was stolen from the indigenous population of palestine/falasteen by yishuv/israeli soldiers after the uk terminated the mandate in 1948.
basically, the uk wanted to terminate the mandate of palestine* (issued by the league of nations in 1922 after WWI when britain occupied palestine) because dealing with the growing tensions between jews and arabs living there (due to the growing zionist movement to establish a jewish state in palestine, which the british commission aided and abetted ofc) was becoming a bit of a headache. so they took it to the un general assembly for the un to deal with.
and that these soldiers carried out the nakba after the un general assembly made a partition plan in a resolution that the palestinians were under no obligation to accept because unga resolutions are NON-BINDING, and when the security council tried to come to a consensus it could not.
from the actual general assembly resolution, in which you can see that these are recommendations to the uk and to the mandate of palestine and makes REQUESTS to the security council. none of this is an order, which if course is not something that the general assembly has the power to do.
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you can even see that on this first page, the general assembly points out that this plan will likely "impair the general welfare and friendly relations among nations."
frankly the resolution was extremely unfair to the palestinians, as the partition would have given them about 44-45% of the land and the jewish population about 55-56%. and bear in mind that not only was there a much larger arab population, but that due to the 4th and 5th aliyah (jewish immigration to palestine) most of the jewish population had not been there for more than 20 years.
now I'm not bothered about people making aliyah, I believe in freedom of movement. what I am bothered about is the settler colonial project that used the expulsion of jews in europe to promote the expulsion of palestinians in palestine.
but the thing is, the israelis didn't even follow the un plan - nor was the un ready for such a plan to be implemented. and funny enough the us** delegate warren austin said at the time that the uk planned to terminate the mandate (may 15th) that "the Security Council is not prepared to go ahead with efforts to implement this plan in the existing situation."
instead what happened was this. the yishuv***, lead by ben gurion, rejected us requests to postpone the declaration of statehood and to cease military operations, which had already resulted in the expulsion of 300,000 palestinians even before the war. this is because ben gurion and many others wanted the entirety of palestine (as well as parts of syria and lebanon) to be a jewish state and did not want the partition - you can see this today in "greater israel" which would be a state of israel from the river to the sea, so would require the annexation of palestine as well as some parts of syria, lebanon and sometimes jordan. it would require mass displacement of non-jewish palestinians and possibly genocide. this is largely a belief of far right people like smotrich and netanyahu, but my concern is that the further right israeli society goes, the more people will become either indifferent to people around them believing in a greater israel or will actually believe in it themselves for the sake of their safety.
I've seen israelis say things like "no one wants gaza, leave us alone" and I have to laugh because that's just not true at all, there are frankly far too many people who are fine with the occupation as long as they don't have to see the harm their state is doing. I understand this because I see it in every settler colony. it's not unique to israel.
you cannot demand to live alone in peace when your country is built on ethnic cleansing, occupation, apartheid and yes, even though im sure it hurts to acknowledge, genocide. and you cannot expect to be allowed to peacefully occupy millions of people.
because what - is an independent palestine allowed to have a military? is it allowed to be fully autonomous? no of course not to zionists because that would threaten their security I guess. and I mean it probably would to some extent since there is no justice in partition.
would there be reparations? no because israelis generally do not know the history of how israel was founded, and if they do they largely don't care. or at the very least don't want it to be relevant to what we're seeing now. I mean the us still hadn't made reparations to descendants of slaves and frankly if we've done a little bit of reparations to native americans it isn't near enough.
would there be right to return for those in the diaspora? of course not, because israel would never allow palestinians the right to return to land in israel.
and those israelis who understand the situation are calling for a single secular state of palestine, or acknowledging that this is a genocide, or reckoning with the nakba. they are not demanding palestinians tolerate oppression. they do not value their lives above palestinian lives.
the colonizers do not get to make demands of the colonized. I feel great sorrow for what the woman in the article has gone through - I cannot fathom what she experienced in the holocaust and I totally agree with her that it is so important for future generations to hear testimonies from survivors of genocide. this is why I find it appalling that she denies the genocide of the palestinians.
*this essay goes into much more of the minutia surrounding resolution 181 and the myth of israel's founding.
**and this was a country that WANTED to establish a jewish state in palestine (he even wanted to have the us take on a trusteeship until the jews and arabs could come to an agreement lmao).
***yishuv refers to the jewish community in palestine prior to 1948. there is a further distinction between old yishuv - those who lived in palestine before the first zionist immigration wave in 1882 and their descendants until 1948. they tended to be more religiously observant, while new yishuv were those who emigrated to palestine in the zionist immigration waves until 1948 and tended to be more nationalist, secular and socialist. old yishuv had been there for centuries and has a fascinating history of how their communities developed btw.
#free palestine#holocaust tw#anti-zionism#antisemitism#the nakba#racism#colonialism#settler colonialism#history#anyway i hope she realizes that she is incorrect but i mean thats for her to live with#its fucking sad is all#free gaza#israeli occupation#israeli apartheid#western imperialism#british imperialism#unpleasant reminder that much of this is the uk's fault#long post
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have there ever been an equivalent of rap beefs in the art world? Like Michelangelo was sending diss paintings to someone?
I mean, like, beefing and disses have been a thing forever, so of course there have been!
I highly recommend looking into the rivalry between Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo, who both already butted heads in the "established artist vs younger prodigy" way.
The peak of this absolute nonsense comes in the early 1500s when both men were commissioned in competition to paint separate scenes in the same council room and that goes about as well as you could expect. I'm not saying that there's proof of it or anything, but knowing what we know about each man and his preferences for artistic style and personal approach to life, I'm willing to bet that there were definitely rude notes and/or paintings going on in the peripherals of their constant one-upsmanship that happened on their primary canvases.
#answered#replies#thank you for sending me a fun ask like this i don't often get to do silly art history stuff here#but yeah no artists have beef w each other all the time to varying degrees of pettiness#manet and degas.... cezanne and gauguin...#usually the beef comes out less in sending paintings to one another and more showing one another up or putting your rival/enemy#in one of your works un an unpleasant or unfavorable manner#you may try and win the favor of the other's patrons if that's relevant at the time or you may offer back-handed compliments or critiques#the possibilities are endless
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Zapotec lore✨
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#witchblr#witchcraft#witch#baby witch#witch community#magick#gods#zapotec#lore#history#cocijo#god of lightning#god of unpleasant weather
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i'm not tired, i'm exhausted
#my head is full of sooo many thoughts and i'm feeling way too many emotions right now#i struggled with my thesis today again after a few months break#yesterday a guy i'm kind of getting to know asked me a question that hit home when we were talking about the effects of past events#“'last time when cuddling and i gave you a kiss you tensed up completely for a sec. was that you being shy or being uncomfortable. '#i didn't even realise it and now i'm feeling extremely anxious about my subconscious acting out when i am in fact feeling comfortable#background: he knows my history of unpleasant events concerning intimacy/sex and he's very mindful about it yet challenges me in a good way#but now i am a mixture of extreme exhaustion experiencing high levels of fondness and yet feeling extremely agitated#and having constant minor flashbacks and i really don't know what to do or how to merely exist in this moment now#not going to bother anyone with this and my thoughts as they are having a good time and that also goes for the pretty nice guy i mentioned#so i'm on my own in my own company#maybe some music crying and ice cream straight from the tub would help haha#thank you for taking your time to read this mess love you and have a nice morning day or night#literally no one cares emma
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sleepy and v fed up w this blasted reading for japanese history class tomorrow. give me 45 minutes to finish this article and i will be back to talk about kissing or something
#for the blissfully uninitiated: hello i am history student#which is a fantastic thing to be but also a significant pain in the [REDACTED] when it wants to be#the professor for this class is almost unbearably terrible which does not exactly make me WANT to do this reading#but the exam is in like 2 weeks lol#so yk. i have the hardest life of anyone on earth etc etc#god forbid i actually do the degree i asked to do lmao#also i up early this morning to drag myself to the immigration bureau for a visa amendment#which meant a decidedly unpleasant hour on the metro during rush hour :(#its bc im applying for this english TA position in spring#its literally only for 5 days and tbh i wouldn't mind doing it for free bc i am sad like that and enjoy teaching for fun#but it IS paid - and paid work is Not Allowed under my student visa#so even though i literally have not even GOT the job (applications close today) i still had to go and apply for permission to work#watch as they dont hire me lol#oh i should mention - for those who may not know i am in tokyo this year#i am british and i usually go to uni in the uk but im on a study abroad year this year#i came to japan in sept of 2023 so ive been here for coming up on 5 months and i will be going back home in august on 2024#its weird to think that im approaching the halfway point#tbh i should really just make this a separate post but whatever#coming to japan has been very strange but a good thing i think
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ㅤperhaps unsurprisingly, byan doesn't like the holidays — christmas in particular, as it's the most prominent and unavoidable one, and the one they have more experiences with. not growing up consistently celebrating the holiday past the age of four, they don't have any real positive attachment to it, and having it shoved so violently in their face each year, being surrounded by kids in school who are always so excited about it... it's always felt quite alienating. it's a very lonely time of year when everyone and everything around you is going on and on about family and you haven't got one.
although most years the only thing they've had to look forward to is the christmas dinner that the group homes they've been in have tried to provide, they have had a few experiences of what a more traditional celebration is like through foster homes they were living in during that time of year. the first one, when they were five, was... actually pretty okay. it was just them and their foster family, and they still remember having fun playing board games and watching movies, and how good the food at dinner was. they even got a couple of gifts from their foster parents. ...it was only the second christmas that they weren't celebrating with their first family, and they remember crying when those gifts were handed to them. another was when they were ten, with a foster family they hadn't been with for more than a few months. there was a lot of extended family in the house, none of whom they knew, and it was an incredibly overwhelming few days, during which they felt very much out of place. they didn't feel like they belonged and ended up spending most of their time hiding in the bedrooms to avoid the awkward conversations people would try to start with them so they didn't feel so left out. at one point, they remember sneaking out to go buy themself a hot chocolate with a bit of money they stole out of their foster brother's piggy bank to cheer themself up and to have a bit of quiet. no one noticed they were gone, and they weren't sure whether they were glad or disappointed.
at best, the holidays are an annoying time of year highlighted only by the two week break they get from school, and at worst, it's a reminder of all the things they've never had or the things that have been torn from them. even the positive memories they have have been soured by the way the kindness and the families didn't last, making it near impossible to look back on any of it fondly.
#the adoptive family they were with for their first four years did celebrate but they don't really remember much if anything from that time#so we're not counting those. ...outside of the way it upset them on that fifth year anyway.#i've had byan for 3 and a half years now and somehow this is the first year i've actually sat down & thought about them and the holidays#it's a very messy and unpleasant history. i know; who could have seen that coming? who could have possibly expected??#they've had a couple other holiday experiences with foster families but these two are the ones that stand out the most to them#they're the experiences that stuck because of the emotional impacts both had on them#like they baaaarely remember anything about that fifth year but those couple things they do have been impossible to shake#...i'm losing my train of thought. but they've definitely taken out their anger on a few christmas displays in the past#when they've gotten REALLY fed up with the inescapability of it all#all of this to say....... they hate this time of year and tend to be grumpier and more of a problem than usual until early january#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made.
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Bunny is written very negatively. Richard constantly assures the reader that Bunny was a good friend, but every passage with Bunny is direct conflict or sheds Bunny in a bad light.
I wonder, is this indicative of Richard’s guilt, telling himself he did like Bunny more than he thought he did and he didn’t deserve to die? Or is he retroactively justifying the murder to himself by remembering “hey yeah he *was* a bigot” and dwelling on the ways Bunny’s murder wasn’t a big issue?
#just finished book 1 of the secret history and now onto book 2#ugh I can’t wait to finish so I can hurry up and read some analyses#the secret history#similarly he calls Henry evil and the devil in passing occasionally but the passages with Henry thus far are#Henry being pleasant cordial enigmatic if somewhat mysterious#but we see bunny being a friend to so many people so was he really so unpleasant to be around as we see?#I don’t doubt he was a bigot#but it’s curious how bunny stands out so negatively aside from the rest of the group#so was he really especially awful from the rest#or was richard only bashing him to retroactively justify his murder?#I meannnnnn I’m sure the other four were bigoted in their ways too
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the weird thing about when someone dies is that they're never truly dead in my head. when i think about my grandpa, my grandma, my uncle, i dont think of them as dead. i think of them as just... gone for a while. some longer than others. i think about my cat sammy and my cat cassy and i feel like i could still look over and see them there beside me. i can see the way sammy would always cuddle right up to me and lay his head on my shoulder. i can see the way cassy would swivel his head at me when he wanted pets.
they're all dead. they're all gone. but i feel like i could see them again, just like old times. all i need to do is give them a call.
#speculation nation#death/#animal death ment/#negative/#i suppose. im not feeling bad exactly. just contemplating the psychological disparity.#even with my cats. i was there when they were put down. i saw them dead. i kissed their cold little heads.#i think about my uncle. how he came into my work unexpectedly a year or two ago. how delighted i was to see a familiar face.#i think of my grandma. the phone calls we would have. how supportive she was of me and my sexuality.#i think of my grandpa. his eccentricities. the way he rambled on and on about history or his own experiences#they are all alive in my mind. but years pass and theyre just Gone. absent from my life. little warning and little preparation.#i knew my grandpa was dying. my grandma was a very unpleasant surprise.#i knew my uncle was dying. but there were only six weeks between the cancer diagnosis and his death. hardly any time at all.#i knew sammy's time was running out. he was 14 years old. he was getting so skinny. and then he was gone.#cassy was a surprise. one week he was his normal attitude filled self. the next week he was dead. not even 2 years old.#for a lot of my life i hadn't known death. not really. i'd never closely known anyone who had died.#but i know now. and the odd thing is that Yes it hurts. but more often it's just strange.#someone can be in your life one day and out the next. and there's no true way to predict it.#hug your loved ones a little closer. i know i have been lately.
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