#maybe some music crying and ice cream straight from the tub would help haha
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i'm not tired, i'm exhausted
#my head is full of sooo many thoughts and i'm feeling way too many emotions right now#i struggled with my thesis today again after a few months break#yesterday a guy i'm kind of getting to know asked me a question that hit home when we were talking about the effects of past events#“'last time when cuddling and i gave you a kiss you tensed up completely for a sec. was that you being shy or being uncomfortable. '#i didn't even realise it and now i'm feeling extremely anxious about my subconscious acting out when i am in fact feeling comfortable#background: he knows my history of unpleasant events concerning intimacy/sex and he's very mindful about it yet challenges me in a good way#but now i am a mixture of extreme exhaustion experiencing high levels of fondness and yet feeling extremely agitated#and having constant minor flashbacks and i really don't know what to do or how to merely exist in this moment now#not going to bother anyone with this and my thoughts as they are having a good time and that also goes for the pretty nice guy i mentioned#so i'm on my own in my own company#maybe some music crying and ice cream straight from the tub would help haha#thank you for taking your time to read this mess love you and have a nice morning day or night#literally no one cares emma
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If you have younger siblings, how old were you when your siblings were born? I was 9. Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? Nooo. I never understood the appeal of that show. Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? Um, wtf. That’s a big HELLLLL NO. Have you ever gotten stitches? Yeah, quite a few times. Do you pluck your eyebrows? Yes.
Think back to the last thing you drank. Did you drink it using a straw? Yep. I always use a straw. Do you ever listen to country music? Yeah. This time last year were you happier then or now? I’m not happy now, but this time last year I was really going through it health wise. I had gotten really sick and it caused a lot of setbacks for me. I was down and out for like 3 months. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep? I don’t have a music player like an iPod, I just use my phone. I also don’t listen to music to help me sleep, but I do listen to ASMR videos on YouTube. What’s your favorite music video at the moment? I don’t have one. I haven’t watched a music video in quite a long time. Can you play the violin? Nope. I took lessons for a year in 4th grade and I was awful. Fun fact: I pretended to play during recitals. lmao. Is the sun shining? No, it’s 12:18AM. Where did you go today? Nowhere, but it’s only been today for 19 minutes. I don’t have any plans to go anywhere later on today either, though. Have you ever taken a survey while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Yeah. Where will you be in an hour? Right here. Is anyone irritating you? Not a someone, but a something. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I always wake up a few times during sleep. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? I was probably drinking coffee. Have your parents ever threatened to throw your things away because your room was messy? Nah, they didn’t do that. Is there any one food you constantly find yourself craving? Garlic parm boneless wings from Wingstop. I’ve recently discovered I like the lemon pepper ones, too. What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent in front of the computer doing surveys? I often do several at a time. Name someone with big eyes. No one I know personally comes to mind. Do you like the humidity? Nooooo. Who will you hang out with next? My mom and brother. Is your shirt pink? Nope, it’s gray. What’s something fuzzy near you? My throw blanket. Are you going to do more surveys? Yeah. Who is the most complicated person in your life right now? Me, hands down. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? Nope, just 2. Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? No. Are you hungry or thirsty right now? Kind of thirsty. When was the last time you ate something, and what did you eat? I ate some ramen about an hour ago. Have you ever seen the film Boondock Saints? No. Do you own a pair of gumboots? No. What colour is your favourite mug? It’s dark blue on the outside with the characters from Peter Pan on it and yellow on the inside. Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? No. Do you know anyone named Doug? Nope. I just think of the cartoon, ha. Do you rate people’s attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? No. Name a few of your favourite actors. Alexander Skarsgard of course. And others, but I don’t feel like listing them. Do you collect anything, or have you ever? Giraffe stuffed animals and keychains. So, how has your week been so far? It’s barely Sunday, so we’ll see how the week goes. This past week I’ve had some kind of stomach bug. Is there anything that you could cry about right now? I’d rather not. How old were you when you learned how to tie your shoelaces? I think I was in kindergarten. I remember going around the house and tying all the shoes haha. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? Why did you have to? During a 12 hour car ride. When was the last time you used Facebook? Last night sometime. Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? Straight to our house. Do you have any unspoken enemies, or maybe frenemies? Nope. What was the last thing you broke? I don’t recall. How many vowels are in your street name? 2. What are your three top favourite flavours of ice cream? Strawberry, birthday cake, and mint chocolate chip. Wow, I haven’t had ice cream in years. What’s your middle name? Would you change it? I don’t want to give that out, but no I wouldn’t change it. When was the last time you wore heels? What was the occasion? Never. Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? One of my cousins and I did sometimes as kids. She and I liked to play Barbies in the tub. Have you ever been a member of an online dating site? How did it go? Nope. Do you know what your neighbours even look like? Yeah. How many siblings does your best friend have? My mom is 1 of 10. Do you put ketchup on your fries? No. I dip my fries in ranch. Have you been lucky enough to make out with anyone in the past week? Nope. I haven’t done that in yearsss. Have your parents ever worked in the agriculture business etc. on a farm? Nope. Do you have an ex that makes you angry with literally everything they do? No. I don’t see or talk to any of them anymore, so. Are you easily susceptible to brain freeze? Nah. My mom is, though. She barely takes a couple sips of something cold and it happens.
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