#unnecessarily long post

[kingdomheartist]

trains. my dreams are SO FREQUENTLY about trains and train stations, and especially about missing trains, probably because it happened to me so frequently thanks to me repying on them to get to school and having detention so frequently.

Usually it goes like this:

- I get to a train station (theres lots of other people there and they always look roughly the same)

- I got to the wee train station shop to get an energy drink (i did this everu day in highschool)

- I see the train rolling into the station and need to run to get it (either through the strairs/tunnels that connect the platforms or across the rails)

- One of two things happen

-> I get to the train and mash the button, but it starts rolling away

-> I get to the train and people are still getting on so I can get on (I will find a place to sit yes but it's always a really weird one and i need to walk ages to get to it)

And then there's the variables that make every dream slightly different, like:

- the reason i got onto the train (trying to get home/visit my parents/need to get to another part of the city)

- if i got onto the wrong train (if yes, 90% of the time the train doesn't stop until i wake up, or i somehow end up getting a flight to where i need to go (i never get to where i need to go)

- do i have my child with me (if yes, he is most likely an infant in a baby carrier or in a buggy, even though irl he's 3 now and doesn't use either)

- is it an intracity or cross country train (the story outside of the train-stuff will change accordingly)

- what kinda train station am i at (modern, think glasgow train station but more underground and smaller or urban small city)

- can i afford the train

sometimes the train dream expands to include other forms of transport, specifically planes and buses

- in case of planes, i'll board the plane usually with my dad, sometimes also with my mum and sister (never with my brothers)

- in case of buses, usually i

-> almost miss it

-> get dropped off at the wrong bit and either go to a shop just before closing time (i never have anough money) or have to walk a massive trek to my home (the walk always ends up being oddly spiritually significant?)

-> once again sometimes i'm by myself, sometimes i have my kid with me

-> i got a cat a week and a half ago and he was in one of those dreams lmao

everyone has dreams about being lost at school, late to work, cant find bathroom etc but whats yalls most common Uncommon stress dream. ill always have dreams about having various problems with my fish tank

[kmesons]

the tgwdlm soundtrack: a visual summary

[21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y]

a lot of you got a kick out of my service dog’s battle jacket, so i thought i’d share some more pictures of the man himself.

i know people have a lot of stereotypes about what service dogs and their handlers are “supposed” to look like, and it confuses people to see a young, seemingly able bodied punk rocker with a service dog.

but i share this to say, that if you as a disabled person don’t see a life for yourself, you can create one. when i started to realize i was disabled almost 10 years ago, i certainly didn’t imagine this is where i’d be now. in fact, i didn’t even plan to making it to this point.

but a diagnosis doesn’t have to mean the end of the world. sometimes your world is just beginning. some people are of the belief that everything happens for a reason. me, not so much. i’ll never be grateful for the suffering i experienced in this world, but i will always, always be glad i chose to stay in it.

[forcebook]

I’ll take good care of you.

[madbard]

“How am I supposed to get over you?”

[dandp]

I'm watching through the early Phil younows for the first time and boy, we understandably harp on Dan the most for the 2012 era denial/overcompensating but Phil's contributions are fascinating. So far my highlights include:

"Dan and I don't do everything together because then we would get sick of each other...as friends" ok no one was reading into it as if you weren't friends

Him willingly reading out "would you rather marry Dan or lick a hobo" and having an extended moment of silence that lasts way too long to be casual as he fights for his life trying to figure out what to say before saying hobo and quickly trying to move on. Then Dan joins later on and he unprompted tells Dan about this. Also should be noted shortly after he answered he was like "huh weird my chat is suddenly being slow and there's nothing for me to read out" which seems a little too convenient to me

[mephoj]

nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn

[infiniteglitterfall]

It's been incredibly difficult to hear from Palestinians in Gaza, not to mention center their experiences and platform their voices. Because ever since Hamas violently kicked the Palestinian government out of Gaza in 2007, it's denied Palestinians the right to free speech.

(Here's Palestinian human rights activist Hamza Howidy sarcastically wondering why Hamas isn't stopping the theft of humanitarian aid when it had the power to arrest him for a social media post within 4 hours.)

I'm working on a series of posts of Palestinians to platform. I came across this thread from someone who used Snapchat to talk to people in Gaza, so I thought I'd post it here in the meantime.

I've seen videos of Palestinians talking about not being able to evacuate because "Hamas has closed all the roads," a video of a Palestinian telling the IDF that Hamas has a car blocking the Salah-al-Din road (the evacuation route) and is pointing guns at people and telling them to turn around. But even as someone searching for Palestinian voices and looking for information about this, I hadn't heard that Hamas had been killing civilians trying to evacuate. (And probably reporting their deaths as part of the daily total.)

I mean, just the fact that the Gaza Strip is run as a separate country from the rest of Palestine is a huge barrier for Palestinians. It's hard to be accepted as a full member of the UN when your country functionally has two or three different governments.

(Confusingly, the PLO is considered the government of Palestine internationally. Abbas is the president of both PLO and the Palestinian Authority, so it sort of works as long as nobody has an election. But the fact that Palestinians have been denied an election for 18+ years, because Abbas keeps cancelling elections and Hamas is Hamas, is also a pretty big fucking problem.)

But it's also true that a huge number of the people in the Gaza Strip, while obviously having a big problem with the Israeli government, have at least as big of a problem with Hamas.

And for all of our decades of talk about Free Palestine, in the progressive movement, we pay shockingly little attention to that.

[upathosarts]

[jynmelshian]

the thing about melshian is that melshi comes across as a very serious, loyal, devoted person who sets his eye on something he wants and does anything he can to get it — unless he knows for sure that he can't. he needs confirmation, or hope, that what he wants is achievable, otherwise he won't even try. hence how he's so adamant to tell cassian that there's no hope of escaping. he's 100% sure there's no point in thinking about it, so he wants to make sure no one else is wasting their time with it. and then this changes when cassian flips the whole operation round on its head and shows him that there IS a way out, there IS a reason to hope. and then melshi shows no hesitation in helping with the escape plan and fighting his way out. he seems to me like someone with quite a one track mind, stubborn but sensible. and then cassian is flighty like this is a core aspect of his character. he doesn't stay in one place, he doesn't stay in one relationship, he's not good at vulnerability, and up until the narkina 5 arc he has run away from every sign that the rebellion IS right and IS his calling and IS the only way to be free. he is deeply loyal to a few select people, but even in those dynamics he finds it hard to commit, and he certainly can't commit to a cause at the beginning of the show. narkina is the first time we see him step up to the mantle, take the reins and fight not only for his own freedom, but for the freedom of everyone around him. before, the acts of rebellion he's taken have been selfishly motivated but also out of loyalty to at least one person: avenging clem as a teenager, and getting money and clearing his name to protect himself and maarva. one could argue that there was still selfish motivations in stirring revolt at narkina, because he wanted to be free and knew that the only way for him to get out would be to take everyone else with him, but i think any potential selfish motivation went out the window when he realised how much he'd need all the help he could get. and it showed that he can be a team player and can be a leader - or at least a stepping stone for other leaders to function and progress the cause.

and who is by his side as he steps into this role? melshi. even with the little glimpse we get into melshi as a man, it's apparent how well they complement each other. the wordless conversations they have, the way cassian's conversations with kino reveal so much about melshi's ideology and the way he expresses himself and what he shares with cassian, it all points to a man of ideals, someone who refuses to conform and maintains his pride and takes shit from no oppressive system. he's untethered because we get no insight into his life outside of narkina, but we understand the level of dedication he shows to the things he cares about, and how he's obviously already fired up and ready to rebel since long before cassian showed up, he just needed a spark. as duncan pow put it, he was waiting for someone like cassian to show up, to show him that someone else does think like him, someone else is not going to stand for how narkina 5 treats them, and that someone is giving melshi permission to stand up. he's sort of the perfect foil for cassian if you think about it. and i do think about it.

and it culminates in the scene on the cliff face: "stop saying that" becomes "tell me they're leaving". if melshi is the no bullshit, won't waste his time on idealism if he doesn't think it's achievable, probably the least optimistic guy but definitely the most headstrong and stubborn, than of course he'd find cassian's constant "they're leaving" at the very least annoying, because he's convinced himself they're going to get caught and he's not going to be able to climb back up. but there's something kind of idealistic about cassian, how he's fundamentally pragmatic but also optimistic, something that's established in the scene where he tells maarva he has enough money for them to "get away". and the loyalty we've only ever seen him show to his family and closest friends on ferrix now extends to his fellow rebel and escapee and manifests as giving hope, and that rubs off on melshi, because how can it not? it actually makes a difference, hearing cassian say they're leaving, even if they're not. it's the hope that counts, and it's the fact that he has someone there as constant reassurance. a constant reminder that he's not in this alone and he no longer needs to hide behind his own rationalisation and pessimism to survive. there really is hope, and cassian is a walking reminder of it.

and to think that they reunite in the rebellion a little way down the line, and die on the same day for the same cause, and it all started in a slave revolt and a prison break and one man giving another man hope. it's a beautiful and underrated dynamic, i think.

[hecatesbroom]

One of the things that really gets me about Hardy and Miller's relationship in Broadchurch is how much the respect they have for each other shows in how they physically interact. Even when they're not particularly pleased with each other/the situation.

I mean, I think the fact that they don't sleep together even though there was plenty of incentive for the showwriters to add that in (the drama!!) says something already, but that's not what I'm talking about.

It's the little things. It's the fact that they barely touch at all even though Ellie seems to be pretty comfortable with physical contact -- whether it's meant to be affectionate or comforting or both. But Hardy isn't, and because Ellie's a pretty intuitive person she never attempts to touch him the way she would others.

And we see Hardy, in his turn, go out of his way to attempt to physically comfort her when he sees she needs support. The careful hand he puts on her shoulder when she finds out about Joe and the way he lingers a bit after that to see if she needs a shoulder to lean on.

Or the time he asks her if she wants a hug after the trial, because he knows she's the type of person to want a hug while going through something like that, but she declines because she knows he's not the type of person to go around offering hugs. That's the scene that really shows how much they've come to understand each other, I think: Hardy is willing to step outside his own comfort zone if he thinks it'll make her feel better -- he's willing to adapt for her because at this point they respect each other enough that things like this don't feel like an obstacle he can't overcome -- and she's unwilling to accept his offer, because it's not an olive branch or him warming up, but rather than that he's offering up a piece of his own comfort to make her feel better. And Ellie, who is generally too nice to allow people to do that, respects him too much to let him do so. Besides, I'm sure she'd just feel weird about it at this point.

Then at the end of season 2, when Hardy leaves and Ellie is there to say goodbye, it seems almost inevitable that they loop back to episode 1 and do hug this time. But instead Ellie extends a hand, and Hardy is almost surprised she doesn't hug him, maybe he's even a little disappointed (because that's what people do in these situations, right? Hug to say goodbye?). And in a sense we get an exact replay of the first episode, only now Ellie is offering Alec what she thinks he needs, whereas first he offered her what he thought she needed.

And maybe they were both a bit wrong, but only because they've come to respect each other's boundaries enough to make that careful miscalculation. And maybe they wouldn't have been wrong, maybe Ellie did want that hug and Alec did prefer the handshake, but only because the other was kind enough to offer exactly that to them, did they want the alternative -- to show their gratitude by shaping the situation to another's comfort, instead.

[deathskrang]

i think about zim and the tallest and their inherently, nearly parasitic relationship to each other a lot.

i think about how all of them are, objectively, mostly blind to this fact as well, zim blinded by the swift and stark obedience that he performs under the delusion that he is doing something for the good of his leaders and his empire, and the tallest blinded by their total arrogance and rage over the fact that zim cannot read any of their cues that he is a nuisance. still, it is so obvious that the back and forth is there.

i know that this particular example probably wasn't purposeful in florpus and was mostly just so the audience could see dib's point and the narrative similarities between zim and him, but i think a lot about zim's silence when dib says, "you know, my dad doesn't appreciate what i do, either" after zim explains how the tallest are not coming to bring him back home. i think a lot about that. the impact and the implications behind one simple sentence from dib. i imagine, to zim, this sort of felt like a slap in the face. the first word besides "my tallest" that's ever explained how zim wants them, how zim, in his own way, almost loves them. and it's a word from earth. it's a word that implies a built in, unconditional caring between human beings. it's a word that zim had just said in a mocking tone of voice to dib moments ago in reference to his plan to replace his real dad. and, suddenly, in a single instance, the weight of the word has seemed to hit him.

i think the saddest part of this parallel is that dib has the understanding that because he and his dad are biologically related, unconditional love is the expected thing, it's the supposed natural progression of things. zim and the tallest, though—they don't have any of that. you could argue that they're barely even acquaintances. there is no understanding of what is supposed to happen with them. there is no built in hope of having them step up to the plate the way dib hopes with his dad. i don't think zim truly understands this, though. as if zim can completely comprehend isolation. isn't that apart of an invader's duty? isn't that what he was trained to do? and isn't zim an invader? isn't he?

after all of this, after all of florpus, long after dib had first used that word, dad, in relation to the tallest, how dib said his dad doesn't appreciate what he does, one of the last things zim asks the tallest as he is witnessing their last moments across that transmission is: does this please you? in other words, do you appreciate what i have done for you?

dialogue wise, this is emotionally wrecking enough, but i think, visually, it is equally if not more disarming and depressing. i really, really, really love the imagery of the scene right before it cuts to the tallest burning in their puppet florpus flames. because it's a silly visual gag, yes, two flailing tallest puppets—but zim talking to two distorted tallest silhouettes, not noticing (or, rather, caring about) the difference between this and their usual way of appearing when they're in a transmission—zim talking to a literal representation of how the tallest have always existed in his head, as two distorted silhouettes, as delusions—that is insanely succinct in describing the true detriment of zim and the tallest's relationship to each other, at least to me.

this is, in my opinion, the most fucked up imagery in florpus, maybe even the entire series to me—and, most likely, none of the invader zim crew meant it to come across quite like that. zim's performance of normalcy in the face of what he is unaware is the tallest's last living moments. the delayed video feed in the transmission, shortly followed by complete and utter panic from the tallest, who were possibly oblivious to the fact that zim had even contacted them amongst their chaos. zim almost seeming as if he is staring at his own reflection in the screen rather than right at the tallest. a physical representation of what their entire relationship has been built on since the beginning—a blurry idea, a vague delusion of a bond that is in actuality no more than a fatal, life long misunderstanding on each end. it's the most palpably gut wrenching thing in the whole film for me, and i don't care that none of it was probably meant to pack that type of punch. it's always hit me hard.

[susaken456]

I really like how Scavengers Reign pits individualism vs. collectivism through Kris and Azi, especially because Azi was a bit like Kris.

We see she’s rather introverted: she was a loner back at the Demeter (and pretty much all of her life), she didn’t want to acknowledge her night with Mia and she treated Levi coldly in the first couple of episodes; she could’ve gone down Kris’s self-reliant survivalism.

In my opinion, the reason she doesn’t is because Azi longs for human connection and she's willing to take the blind leap of faith an interpersonal relationship requires.

Mandatory spoiler warning™

Azi opens herself to Mia during the observatory flashback and Mia seems to successfully coax Azi into hanging out with others crewmembers; she accepts Levi's newfound conciousness despite not having a good answer for why it's happening, and both start building the bond she's longed for since the Demeter crashed.

Her worst time is when Levi’s destroyed and she’s all alone, stranded in Vesta.

Kris is always accompanied by her crew, but the dynamic of her interpersonal relationships with them is quite different. She relies on herself and they also rely on her; it’s a one way street paved with detachment. Every time she interacts with Terrence or Barry she’s leading them, demanding something of them. She never talks to them as equals and she always expects compliance, it’s subtle and that’s how it works on them. But Azi, who doesn’t hold any feeling of indebtedness to her, notices.

It's also worth noting how "cut-throat" a lot of her expressions are:

The way Azi treats both Terrence and Barry is a stark contrast to Kris's, but it's more noticeable with Barry. One of my favorite moments is in episode 9, when she trips and Barry gives her a climbing tip, which went on to a conversation about things each one likes. It's a small moment but it once more exemplifies Azi’s empathetic side.

I think Azi does become a substitute for Terrence, but, ironically, not in the way Kris intended. Terrence’s leniency juxtaposed Kris’s authoritarianism. He nurtured Barry’s childlike curiosity and didn't shut off Azi’s concerns about the survivors of the Demeter. When he dies, Azi fills his role.

Kris tries and fails to indoctrinate Azi into her individualistic way of survival. She tells her that the important thing is her, getting off the planet. But Azi refuses to do that at the expense of abandoning her fellow crewmates, whose lives hold inherent value.

I love the small moment when she checks on Barry after Kris leaves him because she shows more gentleness than Kris would and has shown. She has a surprising amount of moments like this: every friendly interaction she has with Levi, Ursula and her hugging after she saves Azi, her hugging Levi (2 times!), her reuniting with Mia...

When Kris leaves on the shuttle, it shows how conditional her loyalty is: the minimal deviation is enough to make her dismiss someone. We see this facet foreshadowed in her debut, when Terrence talks about settling down and very slightly teases Kris, which clearly irritates her and proceeds to shut him up.

Azi sees value in interpersonal relationships and connects with others through empathy and mutual respect. Kris can’t make such connections because her own self will always be her prime concern.

[bellesdiaries]

Nathan and Elizabeth dance the night away

[springypaws]

Oh no the archivist is archiving (more versions & ID’s under the cut)

ID: It’s a drawing of Johnathan Sims from the Magnus Archives, sat legs-crossed, with one arm loosely held on his legs and loosely holding his glasses, and the other propped onto an invisible surface. The propped arm’s hand is raised to Jon’s eye, stretched out, but with his index finger creating an opening with the rest to display his overshadowed eye, still easily visible due to it being outlined by bright green lines. The style the eye is drawn is similar to the style of the bright green eyes haloed to the side of his head, and the large, less opaque, large one in the background of the drawing. The middle finger of this hand is lightly pulling down his bottom lid, making the eye more visible. Jon is colored in a grey-scale manner, the dull color ever-so-slightly hinted blue. He is half outlined in the same bright green as the eyes, half outlined in a bright red. This bright red is also present as cartoonish exclamation symbols around him, and in the pupil of his bright-green eye. His other eye’s pupil is also colored brightly, but with the green, rather than the red, interrupting the greyscale of the rest of the area. Jon’s expression is neutral, although he looks exhausted, with deep dark circles under his eyes and a slightly furrowed brow. He is wearing a dark overcoat with lighter patches on the elbows and shoulders, and, under this, is wearing a lighter vest. Under the vest is yet another layer, being a semi-visible white button-up shirt. He is wearing darker dress pants and black, professional, and simple shoes. His hair is long and unkept, decorated with white streaks and put back into a loose half-bun.

Plus some filter-playing fun:

ID’s: The first filter makes the drawing look almost like it’s behind the screen of an old electrical device, more similar to that of an older model of computer. The colors are dulled ever-so-slightly, and the edges of the drawing are darkened with shadow.

The second filter has made the image completely greyscale, muting the bright and dull colors both.

The last filter has made the colors all a bit more blue, giving the drawing more color than it had originally.

And the sketch too cause I think I might like it better (as always)

ID: A colored and shaded sketch of the drawing. It looks very similar to the final product, except less cleaned-up and covered in guidance lines and coloring that goes out of the lines.

[claitea]

i was working on something else and out of nowhere i thought about zero, got Really annoyed about his outfit which i've always disliked, and couldnt work on the first thing without doing this alteration first. pay no attention to the top right side nothing is there its just infi