#unless you're gonna be weird about it lol but that goes without saying

[buildarocketboys]

Han's Hiatus Playlist

Hello fans of falling out boys and welcome to my hiatus playlist! I've been working on this for a little while, but today I decided to really work on it and order the songs in a way that made sense and make an oldschool Tumblr post with meaningful lyrics like it's 2015 and we're all using 8tracks again. 19 songs (no actual FOB/Patrick ones), vaguely chronological (in the sense that it starts with the Break Up songs, goes on to Patrick's solo career/post-breakup feels/conversations and feelings between them, and finishes with the tentative reaching out towards each other again) but it's definitely more vibes-based than an exact science! I see this mostly as a peterick hiatus/breakup playlist, but feel free to view it how you will! I've written some of my thoughts on how I feel the songs relate to peterick under the cut, read at your leisure! And let me know what you think if you listen to the playlist/any of these songs!

(It's Not War) Just the End of Love - Manic Street Preachers

You fight your war, I fight for my life You pay your dues, and I won't pay mine To feel forgiveness you gotta forgive It's lost on me, I believe in revenge

2. Can't Stand Me Now - The Libertines

If you want to try If you want to try There's no worse you could do I know you lie I know you lie I'm still in love with you

3. We're Breaking Up - Against Me!

We used to like all the same bands. We used to have all the same friends. What do we have left in common? Just shared memories of good times long since past.

4. Roots Before Branches - Glee Cast

Faith to take chances To live like I see A place in this world for me

5. We've Got An Office In Hackney - Grace Petrie

Come rain or wreck or ruin I'll be following these dreams The same way I've been doing Since the middle of my teens If there's a single person out there To whom this song something means I'd take one lonely broken heart Over a hundred million streams

6. The Bones of You - Elbow

Do I have time? A man of my calibre? Stood in the street like a sleepwalking teenager? No! And I dealt with this years ago I took a hammer to every memento

7. Your House - Jimmy Eat World

If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now If you love me at all, don't call

8. Black Me Out - Against Me!

I don't want to see the world that way anymore I don't want to feel that weak and insecure As if you were my fucking pimp As if I was your fucking whore

9. You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

Is it too late to remind you how we were? Not our last days of silent screamin' blur Most of what I remember makes me sure I should have stopped you from walking out the door

10. Technicolor - Grace Petrie

And I think how strange we could run out Of having things to talk about

11. Habitual - Honey Revenge

Wake up, make the same mistakes Cycles can be hard to break I know but I could be your new ritual Yeah, things are going great Life's been lovely as of late And you would know If you weren't so habitual

12. Ugly Heart - G.R.L.

And I wonder, does it blow your mind? That I'm leaving you far behind I wonder does it stop your heart to know You're not my sunshine, anymore

13. Love You When I'm Drunk - MIKA

And I may be a little bit drunk, but I know what I've got to do 'Cause when I get a little more sober, I know I'll be over you

14. Thrash Unreal - Against Me!

You get mixed up with the wrong guys You get messed up on the wrong drugs Sometimes the party takes you places That you didn’t really plan on going

15. Worst Apology - Honey Revenge

Thought you could save me, underestimate my spite Now my drink tastes like I should ruin your night

16. Happy Ending - MIKA

I feel as if I'm wasted And I'm wastin' every day

17. The Picture - Elbow

You're a pitiless millstone, impossible check You're a lure to the shore and the rocks and a wreck You're a slender and elegant foot on the neck And I love you

18. I Don't Like You - PICKLE JUICE

Last person that I punched in the face Is now the best mate of mine It’s no reason you should feel disgraced As taste can fade with time

19. Take The Long Way Home - Supertramp

Does it feel that your life's become a catastrophe? Oh, it has to be For you to grow, boy When you look through the years and see what you could have been Oh, what you might have been If you would have more time

(It's Not War) Just the End of Love - Manic Street Preachers

This is the Peterick hiatus song to me. So much so that in the Fall Out Boy jukebox musical that exists in my head (confusingly, not a jukebox musical of Fall Out Boy songs, but a jukebox musical of other songs telling the story of Fall Out Boy), this is Pete and Patrick's big hiatus duet. I even know who says which lines. It's not war, just the end of love, indeed.

2. Can't Stand Me Now - The Libertines

I've been obsessed with this song forever. This is every duo in a band who are just a little bit too close (originally written and sung by Pete Doherty and Carl Barat of The Libertines, who were literally so insane about each other that there's a whole Wikipedia section on The Libertines' Wiki page about it) So obviously I had to include this one.

3. We're Breaking Up - Against Me!

This song is so fucking devastating to me and it really breaks it down to the simplest parts possible. They're breaking up :'(

4. Roots Before Branches - Glee Cast

Sorry for including a Glee song in here I guess xD But this is at least half in here because of the context in which it's used in Glee - i.e. the season 3 finale where Finn lets Rachel go because she's a star and they have to grow without each other. So, like, yeah.

5. We've Got An Office In Hackney - Grace Petrie

This is Patrick starting out his solo career, figuring it out, maybe it's going well at first but it's all wrong and he's lonely. I've been obsessed with this song since it came out, it's so fucking good.

6. The Bones of You - Elbow

When you're getting on with your life and doing shit and trying to be a grown man only YOU CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF YOUR DAMN HEAD and you can't help thinking back to how it used to be...and it's you, and it's May, and we're sleeping through the day...

7. Your House - Jimmy Eat World

Shout-out to @aarlert for introducing me to this song (albeit the 2007 version) through their jimmy jams playlist. Stop calling me but make it devastating was my note for this song when I was arranging the playlist.

8. Black Me Out - Against Me!

Big mood change here, VERY much a 'fuck you' song from Patrick to Pete.

9. You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

This is probably more a Pete POV song to me but could honestly work for either of them. Melancholy. Regret. Yearning. Another heartbreaker. Also, shout-out to the foam party scene in Gavin and Stacey that uses this song.

10. Technicolor - Grace Petrie

Struggled the hardest with picking the lyric to use for this song because the whole song perfectly encapsulates meeting an ex out in public by chance and not feeling that way anymore about them. Soft, slow and quiet until nearly the very end when it explodes with Technicolor.

11. Habitual - Honey Revenge

This is the Pete about Patrick hiatus song for me. I struggled choosing between the lyrics that I eventually chose for the playlist (which I thought were more relevant to the relationship generally) and the entire first verse, which is Pete all the way down. Also a rare Pete moment in this playlist where he gets to be pissed off at Patrick and call him a little bitch lol.

12. Ugly Heart - G.R.L.

Title says it all. He may be cover boy pretty, but he's got an ugly heart :/ Another 'Patrick's mad at Pete again' song.

13. Love You When I'm Drunk - MIKA

Pretty sure Mika heard Run Dry and decided to write his own take on it, considering this song came out the year after and the vibes are Very similar. Alcoholic Patrick + going back to him when he's wasted and then being pissed about it later.

14. Thrash Unreal - Against Me!

Another alcoholic Patrick song but not as fun. It's a banger though! Tbh this one's here as much for the vibes as for the lyrics, which only sort of fit if you squint.

15. Worst Apology - Honey Revenge

Moooore Patrick being mad at Pete for RUINING HIS LIFE with a side of being a messy drunk bitch who loves drama. Guilty, guilty, your conscience is filthy...

16. Happy Ending - MIKA

This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending, no hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending...

17. The Picture - Elbow

When you look back on your relationship and think "Wow, that was kind of a toxic mess...what an amazing whirlwind though!" That's this song. Stuck it towards the end as it kind of gives me the vibes of them deciding to get back together because yeah they're crazy and a mess but they're crazy FOR each other.

18. I Don't Like You - PICKLE JUICE

This came up on my Release Radar recently and the lyrics are nowhere online so I hope I heard them right! The on-again, off-again phase of hiatus peterick - one minute they love each other, the next they hate each other again. It's exhausting, but they'll get there eventually...

19. Take The Long Way Home - Supertramp

Although the rest of this playlist is heavily peterick-focused in my mind, this is the one song on this playlist that feels like it's about the whole band. It's about the incredible high of being onstage and the cost of fame, of having to lose yourself and your way to be able to find yourself again. They took the long way home, but they got there! (Unlike Alex Drake in the season 1 finale of Ashes to Ashes, which features this song)

[jazeswhbhaven]

He Can Match Your Freak | Asmodeus Selfie Spoilers

OKAY sooo FINALLY I'm posting this lol it's probably going to be like two parts maybe??? Let's see how this goes because I'm learning to not post thousands of screenshots unless it's relevant.

First. I'm skipping the prologue because most have seen it, and I'm doing a different thing with that anyway.

SOOO it's gonna be a crash course ya'll with jumping right in when MC is in his room about to get them cheeks clapped.

He wants to know more about MC because of what he's heard and well he wouldn't be wrong here. MC apparently is quite the deviant. And you can tell the writers tried to describe him as majestic and breathtaking as possible because the way MC sees him is similar to how they see Leviathan.

Until they said this mess.

G I R L WH A T

Even Asmo was like ???? But he has a sense of humor so he just laughed it off which I mean okay yes as if he would care about that phrase being weird.

But MC out here actin' up once a g a i n. lol

But also they mention his body odor keeps wafting over in MC's nose clearly yeah because not only them pheromones' but uh anyways we'll get to that part later

And MC was just like covering their nose and is like "this is dangerous" and for me ya'll?

I'd be afraid to offend him by saying he smells ripe which I'm sure he wouldn't be offended because I'm not sure what would offend him at this point in time.

So big boi puts a sigil on MC's body similar to a womb tattoo which is why he said "be surprised you aren't pregnant" but this symbol makes you into his "female" no matter the gender. He goes to say it nicely that you're his "virgin" though.

And with that, most of what's happening is that MC is feeling the effects of Asmo without him even doing much of anything just yet. The feelings of having climaxed multiple times over, hazy, losing your goddamn mind.

That sort of thing.

Baby I would have cried on the spot. What do you mean be your companion?

Yup he asked MC to not only be his one night stand but to basically be his and that he thinks he could fall in love with them.

He says that he can fall in love at first sight despite his reputation. And also he mentions MC is his third love. First was Solomon (rejected him and wouldn't tell him who it is he was in love with) and two his late wife who was a witch and it's their children/descendants who are the Unholyc that inhabit Earth.

I'mma be honest with ya'll I didn't finish Lovely Unholyc because I was mostly interested in William, there was no route for him at that time so I just kinda dipped, tried again and then dipped lol

oh btw he apparently just straight up wanted to yap about him clapping Solomon's cheeks and getting his cheeks clapped back and how many damn positions they did and I'm trying to wrap my head around what the fuck they did because at one point surely they were on the ceiling or floating mid-air, like I don't even know

But his wife who chose to live on Earth and grow old and die normally put a curse on his soul. He can love and fuck whoever he wants and should never be lonely but he can't have any more children. If he does, they die, and he dies along with the partner he made them with. (the fall of the house of usher vibes)

AND let me just say? That woman did the world a favor because he has a breeding kink. We'd have a whole universe full of little Asmo halflings running around. So either it was her being possessive or just her sparing the world of that burden then yeah thank you for that because phew.

i don't need no babies anyways

And he says the same thing like "Oh we can leave other things other than babies, like photos of us in a mess" meaning he really meant when he said he wanted to participate in the contest.

I mean he would have won so I think it's fair to give the others a chance. Lol

So things are getting hot and heavy now and he's wondering why MC is holding back. Honestly I'm like huh he did say that he turns you into a virgin and not everyone is confident when being presented with the chance of a lifetime to fuck the embodiment of lust.

But at the same time I mean...MC this is your element and you are pretty much striking out. (not to him but to me you are)

SO I complied all of these because this is important. Asmodeus is literally combining all of their philias and using them on MC and he's quite good at it. And well, why wouldn't he be?

And he even goes to strangle and lick up MCs tears?

Yeah we know what he's about.

His tongue did what now?

his tongue did what now

his tongooooooooooooo

Anyways I short circuited there because everything about him is just driving me nuts.

MC even said they were coming by him just kissing them and I'm like hold up??????

I fucking bet.

Okay ya'll picked the nastiest ass stuff for him to mention but I get it. Congrats if ya'll have things you're self conscious about during sex Asmo's your demon because he literally won't care and will still be turned on.

Ayo.

Moving on....LMAO

And uh...Asmo was licking MC's snot and spit off their face and they came again.

I'm drowning in a sensory nightmare why is he so h o t but this is nastttyyyyyy

"I can always go hard whenever I feel like fucking the opponent"

Sir what? He just be sayin' anything

But he does ask MC what do they want...and they just smack the fuck out of him so there's that. Lol

I would tell him I'd very much like that mouth on the kewchie. I don't even need anything else just his mouth. His jaw probably can go for days.

Now MC is making deduction here that Asmo is the king of lust and seduction and can pass this feeling on to others. He's dangerous this way.

Now Asmo how do you know that.

Tell me sir HOW (I think I know the answer....but I'd be hella surprised that Belphie would let him hit unless he was watching him...)

But mostly what's happening is that MC is feeling what Asmo feels basically the same spiel as the other kings except with him it's intense to the point where they are quite literally about to pass the fuck out. And Asmo ain't about to stop momentum so you better stay awake MC.

NOW YA'LL.

Bullet point times:

MC has climaxed pretty much several times and they haven't even fucked properly yet

But wait, their clothes are off and....

Bam they notice that Asmo's cock is pretty much halfway in their hole and they haven't even noticed

All he did was push himself to the hilt and MC squirted ya'll

So there's that.

But the womb tattoo is doing it's job because now the climaxes are back to back, and I'm just wondering how the hell MC is still mentally there because I'd be a babbling mess.

Yes daddy.

he makes me SICK (lovingly)

But also they mention the liquid he was feeding MC had a horrible smell and I'm just like oh fucking gawd please get rid of my sense of smell before sleeping with him because I would not make it. Why is everything having to do with him smell so much? LOL

LMAO

MC was begging for his dick and Asmo is like, baby it's already in are you okay?

I'm crying

Yeah remember those memes about people getting high and saying they were vacuuming the dishes?

I imagine that's what it's like having sex with him. One minute you're on the bed next you're in another dimension, floating, transcending, melting, legs bent in impossible shapes. Indeed I am mopping the lawn.

He even mentioned they've done it like six times already and he's just getting started.

with a face like that? phew.

Oh so he does have a good pull out game.

btw the visual for that???? GAWDDDDDDD -> look here

So let me back up a bit and mention that MC was feeling insecure that since they have been doing it for quite some time (2 days I think?) they thought he wasn't satisfied. Nah he was just savoring the moment. He could come at any time. ANd when he does? It's alot and from his horn and everything. Cum fountain.

And best part? No refractory period. He's already hard and slamming that thang back in.

Also he mentions here that there's a smell, and he's getting really worked up.

Yeah he's tearing that up. Like it's overtime ya'll.

There's purple smoke and a erotic aura in the air, he's grabbing and biting down on the back of MC's neck to claim them? Oh he's going in.

Alright here we go.

And just so ya'll know...sorry male MC players....the same line is used in ya'lls version too. No change.

This is the point where I would of preferred perhaps something else be said entirely instead. I know the majority of players are women/non-men but...I can see someone playing and getting side swept like?????

But anyways let's move on past this point

Until the room stank is an understatement.

But anyways, while MC is trying to somewhat calm down, Asmo is still trying to keep the momentum. And MC starts trying to have a normal conversation and figuring out why devil's fear him the most.

But also mentioned they wanted to shove his nasty, greasy, bodily fluid covered hair up their hole. E x c u s e the fuck outta me?

AN Y W AY S

Mc figures that the reason the devils fear him is because of this. Imagine falling for someone like this? Who is nothing but the sole reason existence of lust and temptation where you could fuck for hours and reach pleasure centers unknown and yet have that all be taken away when he leaves? There's no love? No sweet nothings? Just being used up and tossed without any direction and you're just in the dark?

welp.

But Asmo does offer MC some comfort

He tells them that he's back in Hell so he will be around more often. It won't be painful, that it's okay to start slow and that MC would wait for him when he's ready to fully accept his feelings. He could fall in love with them not that he was already in love with them. But with how he's considering him as a companion, how he's biting and claiming them, the amount of time he's spending with MC.

mind you he left Phenomenon on the floor the moment he entered the meeting room so I imagine they weren't fucking for very long at all. I imagine all of his sessions with others are "quick" and for those he really likes they last longggg like days.

Not mention he on that yandere vibes....telling MC he'd lock them up in a cage but he'll deal with it for now.

And apparently when he gives a sincere command, it must be followed. So MC basically ends up getting dressed, not whining about leaving, and all that good stuff. A true dom in that sense.

Also he mentions that when he's nearby MC will just get turned on automatically. "Your body will scream that your man is here"

why is that so hot?

So MC is back in Gehenna and this is when Asmo starts reminiscing about Solomon who predicted that he'd see MC in the future and that he would know that he feels at the moment for Solomon is not 'love'.

I wonder if Asmodeus was just helplessly losing himself for Solomon, and pepaw clocked that and was just telling him to chill on it for a bit. Although it is fucking WI L D to me that he is going to try this again with his friend's descendant..."hey I'm a friend of your grandpa...soooo yeah let's fuck and fall in love"

Sounds weird when I put that way huh? lol

Also since we're at the end I'd like to highlight some personality things about him!

He plays too much: Taking a photo of himself and MC sleeping and sending it to Satan knowing he'd storm immediately to the room

He doesn't have self doubt, he is very much full of himself but is considerate of his partner given the circumstances

He is not into aftercare, he claims that part is included during the sex, if sex is over then it's over

He doesn't shower ya'll. Like at all. But he oddly keeps his nails clean and that's about it? He seems to be obsessed with sex funk

He really likes Mammon. Like a lot. But he does that thing where he's like "Nah I want him to want me so I won't give him what he wants" lol okay

He fucks pillows, pretty much inanimate objects if he feels like it

He has a sense of humor

Romance is not absent, it's just tricky for him since all that's all his brain is "breed breed breed breed sex sex sex breed breed breed oh lets pause for a break sex sex sex kissing sex sex breeding biting"

He loves his children though. He really is a fatherly devil. He beams about his kids and this is a moment where you can catch him not being sexual

It comes to no surprise that he doesn't like the idea of sharing his favorite person but it has me think that his style of relationship is that he's monogamous but if you want to occasionally bring someone to "play" with he won't mind as long as it's discussed and he gets to fuck them too

He's got a one track mind, but it's not like he can't carry on a conversation

Now for my

T H E O R I E S

Asmo is older than all of the kings, but younger than Lucifer

I am reaching in the dark but it seems the only King he's had sex with or has watched have sex is Belphie

He's only in love with MC because he's taking a opportunity that wasn't given to him with Solomon

There's most likely a loophole to his curse that his late wife left on him but he simply chooses not to break it

If the Kings fight together along with Asmodeus, the war would be over, and if we ever get a final battle chapter it's going to be MC who is the missing "key" and the one who figures that out is Asmo because he spent so much time with Solomon

We may get a cameo from one of his children in the story

Asmodeus is possibly capable of lying and just hasn't revealed that to anyone. I say this because if he was one of the very early devils created he is the exception to the rule. So there could be some secret he knows.

BUT wow it seems that I have compiled ALL of this into one post. YAY FOR ME. Now there may be more little blurbs popping up as I remember them but for nowwwwww~ Thank you for reading, hopefully you grabbed some snacks, and ya'll are amazing. Feel free to let me know ya'lls thoughts if you haven't said already on our stinky hot devil man <3 lol

[genericpuff]

Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!

So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:

Pepper_maid

madame_issue

Usedbandaid/used_bandaid

Rach Alex

Rachel Royale

Raquel

Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat

Frill_house

Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)

Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.

Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)

One such example is "madame issue":

This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.

She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.

She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.

We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.

That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).

That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"

I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?

TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol

[astraymetronome]

losing my mind at the idea of dream having to listen to borrowers in tommy's real stomach... also how did phil not eat dream? how does techno feel about it?

would tubbo and ranboo be other borrowers tommy befriends.... would he befriend any other borrowers besides dream? if so, why not just eat them?

A lot of questions lol-

I think it would probably be something along the lines of Phil recognizing a borrower was in the house and tried to find a way to either get rid of them or something. Tommy probably heard Phil mention it and is kinda confused and talks to Dream about it. I'd say that Tommy does something stupid and takes Dream to Phil to be like "Don't hurt this one dad! He's my friend." And in this au Phil can't say no to his youngest puppy dog eyes.

I think Phil would just accept it and be like, "Welp, Tommy said no. Darn it."

Techno probably just doesn't really care about it. Like, he's used to it and doesn't care about what his dad and brothers do. I like the idea of Techno being the voice of reason and things like that when it comes to Tommy and Dream. Like when Dream and Tommy fight for the first time, instead of telling his dad he goes and talks to Techno because Techno won't be like- "That borrower pissed my son off, friendship ended so free snack." I think he'd just be more of a bystander for it and just shrug things off unless they seemed wrong or like something needed to be done.

As for Tubbo and Ranboo- Tubbo would probably be a human and I'd have Ranboo be a borrower. Think similar situation to Tommy and Dream but instead of it being Tommy when he's little he sees this noodle of a borrower and goes, "yeah, you're hilarious." Basically Tommy decided with Ranboo that he really likes them because of the wet cat energy and ends up letting them live in their walls. Ranboo and Techno would probably develop a similar relationship to Tommy and Dream, without noms, but I think Ranboo would be the weird one and be kinda willing to be eaten as long as it's not fatal.

Tubbo wouldn't learn about Ranboo until they're comfortable enough to be around a lot of people and I feel like Tubbo and Tommy have been friends since elementary so he's aware of Dream's existence. Maybe he doesn't so Dream's a borrower would gives some angst opportunities if Tubbo was to stumble upon him before a proper meeting but Tommy would probably catch Tubbo in the act of doing it. Tubbo strikes me as the type to really take his time with his prey.

Tommy would probably have a few borrowers he gets go because they're interesting or something where they just run off or hide in the walls forever because they're horrified of being eaten. As for why Tommy doesn't eat them is because he is interested in them. Like think of something where a borrower says something so stupid that Tommy can't help but burst into laughter, he has to admit that he kind of likes their humor and manages to be like- "well, you're kind of funny. Fuck it, you can go." It's not any real logical reasoning and Tommy's just kind of following the flow when it comes to prey. Think more of that he has some of that childish mind set still. If the prey is an asshole he's probably just gonna eat them. If they're willing and want to be eaten he probably will. If they're not interested and have a valid argument other than, "I don't wanna die" he'd be the embodiment of this meme ↓

Either way, Tommy's a little guy who makes weird choices.

Once again! Feel free to ask more things lol!

[1moreff-creator]

new fnaf-drdt cross-headcanon (and i wanna hear ur thoughts lol)

david chiem IS david murray, its just that david murray had such a career with his speeches, that he decided to change his surname! with diana chiem being an adopted step-sister who was actually a close classmate of david

(with despair time being an au to fnaf of course)

(as to how this would fit timeline wise into the danganronpa canon?wellllllllllllllll lets just place the tragedy in the super early 90's for this epic headcanon to work shall we?)

CW: Child death, car accidents, murder, AI possession (Glitchtrap), mention of fires.

Okay, well, it can certainly work! On account that we know nothing about how David Murray would have been like were he to have survived childhood, so it's not like there's a personality issue. But the fact David Murray didn't make it past childhood brings its own problem that, uh, we're gonna need to cook something strange for this to happen, right? Like, the most notable thing David Murray does aside from befriending the Mimic when it was first created is die in a traffic accident, so... Robot children?!!? No.

First issue is that DRDT takes place several decades after the Tragedy, and David Murray was born around the 70s more or less. So pushing the Tragedy back to the 90s still means David would be either a teenager or an adult by the time it happens, and would be way too old decades later when DRDT happens for this to work. It'd probably be easier to push the FNAF timeline forwards; the Tragedy set back technology several decades, so the Mimic's creation actually happens decades after the Tragedy and only about 15-17 years before DRDT (since David Murray was 4 in the Mimic story, putting that 15-17 years before DRDT makes David Chiem college age when he first goes to Hope's Peak a year or so before the killing game starts, which fits canon DRDT). We don't have a great estimate of when exactly The Mimic happens (that I know of anyways, only "late 70s" I think), but it still puts most of "80s" FNAF lore (MCI, the bites, etc) a few years before the killing game, and anything after the 30 year time skip after it. Like, William's probably dead and trapped in the private room, and Fright hasn't opened to get him out of there yet.

That still leaves us with the rather pressing issue that David Murray died, and that's a pretty important part of the story. I guess you can change it slightly to have David be grievously injured in an accident, but not dead, then... uh, fill in the blanks I guess. Or you could have David posses the Mimic somehow and David Chiem is a human costume of some kind, which is kinda weird but hey, Ennard happened, so. You can probably make Diana another animatronic disguising as a person if you want, even if we are getting to "robot people" territory at this point.

I bring up the possibility of David being the Mimic because, to be frank, I have genuinely no idea where this would go without that point. We don't know much about David Murray, and for David to still be the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, he'd probably need to have moved firmly away from Fazbear's, which by the time the killing game starts would kinda be dead/dying anyways. That is to say, I don't know what David Chiem being David Murray would actually change, unless you throw in an extra twist. In this case, Mimic stuff.

Even then, I struggle to think about what exactly that would mean for DRDT canon. Beyond some trickery with voice mimicry and stuff like that, I think the killing game would mostly go the same (provided David's motive secret remains the same, but I don't see how anyone would believe David's a robot if that's what his secret was, so). You'd probably need to have a few other DRDT characters secretly be FNAF characters, but you didn't mention anyone else, and there's too many good swaps to really talk about here, so.

Unless you're not talking about a killing game AU in FNAF, but rather a FNAF AU where certain FNAF characters get replaced with DRDT characters (I don't really know what you meant lol). We still have the problem that I don't know what David Murray would have really done if he'd survived past the 70s, though, given he didn't in canon FNAF (which canon timeline I'm referring to is up to reader interpretation lol). Would David even be involved in the early happenings of the 80s, like the bites and the murders, or would he have nothing to do until the Pizzaplex era? Even when he is involved one way or another, what does that look like? Why would he even go back to Fazbear's if he has a successful Speaker career?

As a first approximation, here are my ideas. The setting I'll use has no Tragedy or killing game, as I'll talk about a FNAF AU, not a DRDT AU. David survives the car accident when he was younger, but Edwin still beats up the Mimic because that's a pretty big part of the story. A big difference I'll introduce, though, is that the Mimic actually kills Edwin in retaliation, because getting him out of the story makes it easier to move David around to where we need him. See, now that David's an orphan, he can get adopted into the Chiem family, explaining both the name change and Diana's hypothetical existence. It also allows him to fully separate from Fazbear's without issue, leading him to become the Speaker we know him to be without interfering with the main FNAF story.

However, David never forgets about the Mimic. Edwin's death was formally reported as an accident while he was working with machinery, but David has his suspicions about what exactly happened there. It takes him a long time to actually connect Fazbear's to the Mimic, especially because it's not like he has a lot of time to study the connection while he's also working on his speeches. In fact, by the time he graduates from Hope's Peak, Freddy's is officially closed (which I think works assuming David was 4 around '79 and the last Freddy's before the skip closes around '93), so there's nothing he can really do about it as an adult.

But. He kinda figures out a lot during the 30 year time skip. What exactly he figures out depends on where exactly you want to go with his character and where the other DRDT characters are placed in the AU. However, I'll say he figures out that Fazebear's did, in fact, use the Mimic program after Edwin's death. Normally that probably wouldn't mean much, but this is where we can use the Fazbear's Frights plot device of people being inexplicably drawn to Freddy's under certain circumstances (I think that's a thing, right?): we can say that David feels compelled to bring the Mimic back, to the point of obsession. Unfortunately, with Fazbear's dead and buried, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

And then the time skip ends, and Fazbear's Fright opens. In this AU, the events of FNAF 3 and FFPS happen one right after the other, so David doesn't have time to interfere before it all goes down in flames. However, with public interest in Fazbear's officially back, the company starts building itself back up, and David becomes a member of the board of directors through his immense amount of wealth as the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker. I don't know how companies work but sure let's say that's possible.

Now, David starts making moves to bring the Mimic back, because for this AU to work at all he needs to be obsessed with that thing at least as much as canon David is obsessed with Xander. David is the one who comes up with the plan to hire a game dev to discredit the old stories, because his ultimate goal is not just to bring Fazbear's back, but also to get them to create a game themselves; Help Wanted. Basically, David's idea is that because Fazbear's are cheapskates, they're gonna find whatever they can to speed up the process, and he's hoping that the Mimic program can do just that.

His plan goes perfectly, and the Fazbear people dig up the Mimic program that makes Glitchtrap appear. From here, David can probably team up with Glitchtrap to try and find the original Mimic body and finally fulfill David's life-long goal. Around here is when you can start throwing around other DRDT characters, such as Hu being Vanessa (because she's manipulated by David and Glitchtrap), Veronika being Vanny (because she's crazy and she's Hu's recap foil), maybe Teruko as Tape Girl (goes against David; also gives you an excuse to make the goat Tape Girl more important) and... pick one of the guys as Cassie's dad ig. Whit maybe? You can twist his nostalgia of his mother to be nostalgia for Fazbear's or something. Or maybe you'd prefer Teruko as Vanessa, since Vanessa does more to fight the Mimic in canon than Tape Girl. Fits her bad luck, I suppose.

I'll leave whatever comes next as a reader exercise. Hope this was enough for you, thanks for the ask! And sorry this took a while, like all my asks recently lol.

[golbrocklovely]

Am I the only one who wonders what happened between all of them for Katelyn to act like that?? Like her posts on TikTok or the insta pic incident

you're definitely not the only one, anon lol

i have a theory of what occurred but no full proof of what went down. this is just my MAJOR assumptions.

i've definitely stated this before too, but i'll just repeat myself since i feel like my opinion has changed slightly.

before anyone possibly reading this gets on my case, i don't agree with how katelyn has gone about doing things, but if i'm even slightly correct, i can't say i'm surprised at her pettiness lol

it seems to me that everything between the four of them was good up until like may/june-ish. april, they were good bc that's when they all went to coachella and had fun there. hell, even a bit before coachella sam was making jokes about them getting married on one her tiktoks. but by may… things are getting just a twinge iffy. bc in may, that is when snc are going to farrar to look at it for the first time/purchase it. who comes along with them? malia. but katelyn didn't come. now granted, she apparently was moving or doing something like that around that time, but it is interesting that malia went with them without katelyn, or at least was invited along. it is a bit odd, especially when while snc are there, malia is taking pics in merch and colby's posting it to his story (and the merch in question was the "ugh why can't my boyfriend hunt ghosts" one).

but then by june, that's when they have their meet and greet. and obviously katelyn is there to support and give out stuff to fans. so things seem okay again. and around this time, he removed a bunch of posts of him with kat and the core four that had been up still, so a lot of ppl thought he was gonna finally hard launch katelyn as his gf.

then the last time we see them all hanging out is on july 4th. they all go out on a double date, post a tiktok or two, seems fine. he even posted a video laying outside with her. but then, fast forward to july 17ish, that is when she posts on her tiktok story that she is going to see pythian priestess bc things have been really weird in her life recently and she just needs a reading. so… needless to say that by that point they either a, broke up or b, were about to. by july 23, snc are in iowa filming farrar.

then by august 14ish, sam is seen out with a girl - going to watch a sunset in venice beach. the literal same day that happens, katelyn and him unfollow each other. the next day is when she posts the pic of him and her kissing with the caption "felt cute might delete later", and all of that shit goes down.

i'll try to say this as delicately as i can bc of course i could be wrong (and honestly i hope i am) - i think sam checked out of the relationship long before they broke up in july. bc when he was trying to calm the waters and did that q&a, he claimed that he had been single "for a bit now" and in his comment said that he and katelyn "broke up a while ago" when AT MOST it had been a month since they broke up. so to me, that reads as he had already left the relationship long before they ended things. and on top of that, all of the filming of hell week was after they broke up. so that means broken up sam was in the farrar vids, and to me he doesn't exactly look like someone that's upset about a relationship he had been in for almost a year ending.

or maybe he's a good actor lol

and i feel like this also lends into a pattern with him: he breaks up with said person after being clocked out of the relationship for a while, and then immediately leaves so he doesn't have to deal with the fallout. he did something similar when him and kat broke up - they broke up in late march (which he lied about in his marathon video bc there is literal proof and him, kat, and everybody hanging out and being besties on like march 25th so unless they were just pretending on camera to be fine but off screen weren't… he either lied or forgot when they broke up) and then he immediately left to go do filming somewhere (i don't remember what they filmed, but i know him and colby left around that time). even kat left to go be with family for a while. and he's now done the same thing with katelyn - broke up and left to go film.

sam himself has said before that he is terrified to grow up, that he's not ready to or that it's his biggest fear. the thing is, and while i never said it back then, he was never gonna marry kat. it was extremely apparent to those that weren't invested in their relationship. bc i think to him, marriage is the end of his youth. marriage means he has to grow up, be a man, and stop fucking around and have his shit together. and i think that scares him. and look, there's nothing wrong with being scared to grow up. there's nothing wrong with being worried about the future. i'm not saying he can't be fearful. what i am saying is you can't string ppl along bc you can't get it together. i mean, he outright said in a livestream recently that he hasn't been single since 8th grade……… that every year since then he has had a gf. that man is TERRIFIED to be alone. and so he jumps into relationships, but never grows up.

not only that, but he's unhappy with himself, for some reason. and i think he thinks he can't change or grow while in a relationship so he stays stagnant, and then by the end he realizes he's unhappy and instead of maybe pressing pause on the relationship or trying to grow while in it, he pretends he's happy, becomes extremely unhappy, and then drop kicks the girl. bc now we have two instances of him coming out a relationship saying he's the best version of himself, that he feels so good and free, but cut to a couple months later, he's back to saying he was in the worst time of his life.

and look, none of this is to say that katelyn did absolutely nothing wrong. i'm sure she was weird in her own way. i mean hell, she was in gcs with fans after their breakup trying to defend herself. that's weird. no buts about it. and she did do some odd things during their relationship too, and since the break up has been petty on and off again. but so has sam. in a weird way, they were kinda perfect for each other lol

i don't think there was just one singular thing that transpired to cause the falling out of snc and malia with katelyn. but i think the break up definitely made it easier for them to all shun her. and i think that's why she's retaliated the way she has - with tiktoks and pics and shit like that. i don't blame the girl, but i also don't think she's chosen the right path to go down either.

it's all just... very messy.

[bekolxeram]

I recall shortly before the S8 premiere, someone wished me an enjoyable viewing experience, even though the aviation inaccuracies would probably be painful for me. Well, I'm happy to report, quite the opposite! I was pleasantly surprised by the good balance between visuals, storytelling and accuracy. So here I am, saying my gratitude to the writers and consultants.

Fuck yes! I've never been subtle about my dislike for the Airport film series. I can absolutely overlook the aviation inaccuracies or gravity defying physics, but the most grating sound for me in Airport 1975 is Mr. chief flight instructor calling Nancy the flight attendant "honey", over and over again.

Sure, they're romantically involved, but at one point even the air traffic controller calls her honey. The men in this film also generally treat Nancy like she's dumb and talk to her like a baby, even though she manages to slowly figure out how to rudimentarily keep the plane flying, without any former training. I'm glad 9-1-1 calls out this era specific sexism in its first scene of the season. I want to hug the writers.

You, sir, should stay in the 70s.

I mentioned here that since the 80s, we have systems in place to prevent mid-air collisions. We can see both of them in action here. The air traffic controller has an alert pop up on her radar, she warns the Beechcraft pilot of incoming traffic just as she's trained to, and she instructs the pilot to make an immediate right turn. The Airbus on the other hand also has an independent avoidance system.(Mandatory on all commercial jet airliners with 30+ passenger seats per FAA) When it detects possible conflicting aircraft nearby, it gives the flight crew an audible advice to resolve the conflict. In this case, to climb. Unfortunately, even the most well-designed safety net can't stop a dumbass.

Just like the helicopter pilots in The Swarm (1978), Mr. rich asshole here sees a weird cloud, so he decides to fly straight into it. Those turn out to be angry bees and they're pouring into the plane through an air vent, so what will he do to get himself down on the the group ASAP? Request vectors to the nearest airfield for an emergency landing? Oh no, he takes off his headset, so that the bees can attack his ears too. Then he twists his yoke around like he's driving a go-kart. No wonder the TCAS onboard the Airbus can't predict what the hell this guy is doing.

Oh, this is not related to aviation. I just think Athena looks like a boss here.

Flying from Phoenix to Los Angeles only takes 1.5 hours, so it's usually done with a narrow body, single-aisle aircraft, in spite of the demand. Yet, Athena is definitely on a wide body, twin-aisle plane. (Honestly the wide body set looks so much better on camera than a cramped 737) The writers can simply leave it be, like many shows before them. It's not like a lot of viewers can tell the difference, unless you're a weirdo like me. Surprisingly, the wide body short hop to LAX turns out to be a plot point.

Someone is going after Dennis Jenkins, so Athena has to get themselves onto another flight. They're apparently in such a hurry that the only one available actually goes to Honolulu, with a stopover at LAX, so technically a long haul flight. 10/10 perfection.

Ahh, the cockpit. It's good enough? It's an A320 cockpit set with an A330 cabin, but no one's gonna be able to tell or mind. Yes, an A320 cockpit is smaller and narrower, but it basically has the same control panels and instruments as the A330, maybe with a screen or two fewer. (Also the circuit breakers are located in different places, but who cares lol) The important thing is, it looks gorgeous and modern.

Also, wonderful hole placement. (heh) The flight computers are situated in the avionics compartment underneath the cockpit, so a hole on top is much better than a hole from under. It also looks like it manages to just avoid the overhead panel. Some wires seem to be exposed to the element, but most of the buttons are still lit up, so still connected to the power supply. The Otto Pilot autopilot seems to have survived as well.

Looks good enough to me. The Primary Flight Display and the Navigation Display are flipped, but it's basically unnoticeable to the untrained eye. If you do recognize it, then you'll know it's already pretty good for a TV show.

Let's play a game, what do you think the instrument in the middle is?

[bunnir]

karl heisenberg with a pregnant gf

tags: fluff!, overprotectiveness, pregnancy (obviously), morning sickness, comfort with pains, smooches, karl being extremely soft in private, long post!

-

when karl hears you vomiting, he's immediately worried

is by your side with water and some meds asking if you're okay

if your hair is long then he'll hold it back from your face

after a few more weeks when you miss ur period he's like "what's that mean??"

as soon as you say the word "pregnant" he shuts down- like, is sat rigid and isn't even blinking

you're worried he's gonna be angry or something, so you sit in silent anxiety and wait for him

eventually, he mutters something, and it makes you jump

"are you sure? i swear if you're joking-"

"i'm not joking..."

he is over the moon, hugging you quite tightly yet trying to be careful not to squish your belly

he doesn't tell anyone else- especially not miranda, so i hope you're okay with your pregnancy being secret bc he wants to keep you and your child safe

when your bump starts developing he's in LOVE- kisses it when you're lay down and pretty much always has a hand on it

if your presence is required in a meeting, karl will literally give you his coat so your belly is hidden or he'll make up an excuse that you're sick

miranda gets suspicious when karl gets all protective over you, not letting anyone he doesn't trust near you

he explains that you two have had an important milestone in the relationship and that he was just feeling clingy

if you have weird cravings, he'll make them for you- but he definitely won't try it

cuddles are a must- chest to chest is definitely his favourite because he can feel your bump <3

tbh- bc donna is such a sweetie i see that karl trusts her with the news that you're pregnant and she'll keep that secret to her grave (she's just excited to be an auntie lol)

you cannot go anywhere without karl- he's definitely stuck to your side and will threaten anyone who even looks at you

you want something for the baby? he'll make a little metal rattle and makes sure there's absolutely no sharp edges on it and that it's completely sanitary

donna probably gifts you two a plushie and a doll lets be honest

alcina catches on, and confronts karl about it- and he blows up

you're most likely with him, and you'll probably have to grab his arm to calm him down

alcina just laughs, telling you that your secret is safe with her- but if heisenberg steps on her toes she's gonna tell miranda with no remorse

moreau and miranda are the only 2 who don't really know, moreau is too oblivious to figure it out and miranda cannot find out by any means necessary

alcina (being a great auntie) gives you all the equipment you need i.e: a cot, a blanket, teething toys, a bottle and formula if you're not gonna breastfeed, ect

karl literally fixes up a room in his factory that's pretty much a nursery

he even paints it a soft yellow

he says he's hoping for a boy, but he definitely suggests girl names first- in his heart he wants a little girl

lets you sleep with all the blankets even if it's winter- he just wants you to be safe <3

literally engulfs you with pillows- keeps you all cozy all the time

when you're getting close to your due date, he's sooo worried!

doesn't let you stand up at all unless you need the toilet or to bathe- even in the bath he's right there with you

if you struggle with standing up- he'll laugh a little before grabbing your hands and pulls you to your feet

always keeps the rattle he made and a blanket in his coat incase you go into labour whilst not at the factory

when you're a week away from your due date- he goes awol on the four lords and stays with you, rubbing your belly when you get cramps and giving you massages

you're literally always in bed now, he barely lets you get up- like it's worse than it was a few weeks ago

he's just feeling really protective of you when you're about to go into labour <3

when you do actually go into labour, he's panicking for you

calls the doctor down and threatens them not to tell miranda anything

luckily the birth goes amazing and you have your little girl!

he's so happy- and i mean happy

as soon as his baby is in his arms he does not let her go at all- he's literally cradling her all the time unless she's hungry

you've caught him coddling her throughout the night- she's never crying because he never puts her down

karl will one hundred percent convince you to let the baby sleep in your bed with the two of you

so you end up with your daughter sprawled between you both as you try to cuddle around her

she's going to be so spoilt lol

[fandom-hoarder]

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

[ambivalent-anarchy]

You've Got Moves

Masterlist

Part 2

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Summary- [Y/N] asks Peter to do some TikTok dances with her.

Bonus: Clueless Peter. FLUFFF. Also guy best friends are the best best friends to have lol

If you need a description for Asher, just think whatever your idea of a really hot guy is lol.

A/N- this is a repost because the first one was blocked from tags due to tiktok being weird about links😬

---------------------------------------

"Oh my gosh bitch, just ask him."

Your best friend Asher glared at you with pure impatience in his eyes. You'd been going on about this in every gym class for literal weeks.

"Oh my God, doesn't that guy over there have such a classic 'tiktok guy' face?"

"Ooh, look he's flexible! He's probably a really good dancer too."

"You think he'd do a tiktok with me? Nah, that's dumb."

"I bet he's a tiktoker and I just haven't found his page yet."

It drove him crazy. He didn't know whether you had a crush on this guy or if you really were just that obsessed with tiktok to the point where you were finding random people who looked good to do them with, but at this point he didn't care. He just really wanted to stop having conversations every day that ended with him staring at some guy and wondering if he could throw it back.

You watched the boy in question occasionally. You'd practically studied his physique, his face, his little ticks. Everything. But you didn't even know his name. All you knew was:

You definitely wanted to do a tiktok with him.

"Nah, Ash. He's probably gonna think I'm weird. I mean, who just goes up to someone and says 'yo you wanna do a tiktok with me?"

Asher facepalmed and groaned. "Literally anybody that wants to do a tiktok with someone else, [Y/N]." He rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he ruffled your hair with his hand. "C'mon, stop being a wimp and go ask the guy. Cuz if you don't, and I have to keep hearing you going on about his 'classic tiktok boy look', I'm seriously gonna jump off a cliff."

"Fuck you," you snickered with a smile.

Asher gave you a smirk. "You wish."

"Ewww," you groaned. Rolling your eyes, you looked back to the boy you'd been thinking about. He was sitting with his friend on the other side of the gym. You bit your lip anxiously. "Nah, I'm not gonna do it." You looked again. "Okay I'm gonna do it." He was just sitting there minding his own business. "Uh-uh. Nope. Not gonna do it."

"Oh my God..." Asher shook his head. "Fucking lost cause- HEY YO PETER!," he yelled to the other side of the gym, waving his hand wildly and signaling a 'come here' motion when the brown haired boy looked towards him.

Gasping, you turned around and slapped Asher's arm harshly.

"What was that for?!," he asked, rubbing the spot lightly.

"You knew his name?!," you hissed. "You knew his name this whole time and you never told me?!"

He simply smirked in return. "You never asked," he said, earning a middle finger from you.

"You suck," you scolded.

"You swallow," he shot back with a smirk.

Looking back, it made sense that Asher would know his name. After all, he was the social butterfly of social butterflies. You were sure that the only way you had caught a friend like him was because you were already his best friend before he hit puberty. While with others it causes acne and insecurity, it made Asher a literal supermodel (along with a bit of acne, I mean c'mon it's high school). And the fact that he was athletic, being on both the basketball team and the tennis team didn't hurt either. He hung with practically every clique in school, dragging you along wherever he went, though he preferred to hang with the popular crowd the most.

You both looked back to where Peter sat to see that he hadn't moved yet. He was halfway standing up but seemed to be caught up in a deep, frantic, borderline-panicking conversation with his friend.

Asher cocked his head to the side. "Aw, I think he's shy," he snickered. "You got yourself a little shy tiktoker." He shook his head slightly and as he continued to laugh. "Hang on, I'll go get him."

"Just don't say anything weird," you said, pushing him away to go fight your battle.

You drew in a long breath as you watched them converse and you waved when you saw Peter's eyes following Asher's point in your direction.

Knowing your best friend he was probably saying something super embarrassing that you'd have to explain away later, that is, if Peter walked over there in the first place.

"You know he really likes you, right?"

You swung around and looked to the bleacher seats on your right to see a curly haired girl with a book in her hands staring at you with the most unamused face you've ever seen in your life.

"Who?," you asked, extremely confused as to why this girl who never talked to you was talking to you. "Trust me, Asher and I have already been down that road. We're good where we are."

"Not him. Parker," she said tilting her head in Peter's direction. "He stares at you alot. It's pretty weird if you ask me. But then again, you stare at him alot too," she noted rather blatantly. "You guys could probably work. You're both dorks." She smirked, satisfied with her observations and went back to her book as if nothing happened.

"I don't like him," you mumbled back. "I don't even know him."

She didn't raise her eyes from her book as she sighed loudly. "Well then why're you so obsessed with doing a video with him because he has a 'classic tiktok boy look' when you've got Asher -who arguably has more of a 'classic tiktok boy' look than Parker- right next to you, who would probably be more than willing to do some lame dance with you being that he's your best friend?," she asked (more accused than asked).

"Oookay, whatever...," you mumbled, figuring you didn't need to explain yourself to someone you didn't know, turning back to where you could see Asher walking back to you, Peter and his friend close behind. When they finally reached you, Asher put a hand on both you and Peter's shoulders with a smug grin on his face.

"Okay. [Y/N], meet Peter. Peter, meet my dear friend [Y/N]."

You plastered a smile on your face and waved, to which Peter nervously smiled and waved back. He shared a quick look with his friend and then spoke up. "So, uh, can I help you or something?," he asked, snapping you from your thoughts.

"Hmm?," you hummed.

"It's just that, I-i don't.. really know why I'm over here.

"You threw your hand over to the left of you, expecting to hit Asher in the chest. "Ugh, Ash you didn't even te-" You turned your head when you felt nothing but air. "Ash?"

"Hey [Y/N]!"

You turned your head towards his voice and saw that Asher had moved to sit next to the girl who spoke to you before.

"We should really read this book Michelle's reading together. It's called 'The Slaughterhouse Five'!"

You rolled your eyes. Asher hardly even read books unless they were required. Dumb flirter.

You tilted your head toward this "Michelle" girl, whose head was stuck in a book as she actively ignored Asher sitting next to her. You chuckled, mouthing a quick 'good luck' to your friend before turning back to the timid boy who was watching you expectantly.

Shaking out the anxiety in your head, you finally spoke to him. "Uh, I have this thing that I'm trying to do and I know you don't know me and I don't know you and we've never really talked at all and this is kinda weird, but I kinda think that you'd be awesome for it," you rambled, continuing when Peter nodded. "So would you maybe wanna do it with me?"

"Well, what is it exactly?," he asked.

You shrugged. "Just some tiktoks," you said. "I mean, it's totally fine if you don't wanna-"

"Um, sure. But question, and this is probably gonna sound really lame but," he started. He blushed as he looked down at his feet. "What is a tiktok?"

You slapped your hand over your mouth, trying to hide a laugh. You looked to Peter's friend who was still standing there beside him. "I-is he serious?"

His friend laughed too, nodding his head. He patted Peter (whose face was now beet red) on the back and whispered into his ear. Peter's face lit up. "Oh! Gotcha. Thanks, Ned."

"So will you?," you asked.

He scratched his head. "Well sure, but full warning. I'm not much of a dancer."

Michelle looked up from her book once again. "Shut up, loser. You pick up combinations faster than anyone I know."

Your face brightened. "I knew it!" You grabbed his arm and pulled him to the closest wall. "Okay so we'll just start off easy, alright?" Peter nodded in response. "Ummm, let's do this one."

Peter watched it about three times and handed your phone back to you, to which you gave it to Ned so that he could record it.

"Uh, we go right first, right?," Peter asked, going over the entire dance in his mind as he stood beside you while you checked with Ned to see if the shot was good.

"Yeah," you said, smiling as you got a thumbs-up from Ned. "Alright let's do this."

Peter would be lying if he said he had any idea what he was doing. Technically, he knew the dance. It wasn't hard at all and only took him watching it two times to get the hang of it.

But what was he really doing??? First, some really cool guy with the best haircut and chiseled jaw he's even seen who he never thought would be talking to him ever just walks up to him and Ned and practically demands (in a really cool, nonchalant, and non-aggressive way) that he goes to the other side of the gym to the girl that he's been secretly (well not so secret by the way Peter crushes) crushing on without giving him a clear reason. Then he gets there to find out that this totally hot girl picked him out of everyone in the entire gym to do dances with and he actually manages to suck up his nervousness enough to agree??

In a word, wild.

"Okay, that was pretty good," you said as you watched the video. Peter didn't know why, but he could feel a 'but' coming.

You gave a small smile. "But-"

Ah. There it was.

"Look dude," you sighed before pointing at his face. "You are, like really cute. You gotta own that and put it to use, man!"

Peter's eyes went wide and immediately he looked to Ned, who was also freaking out behind you.

You called him cute.

He liked you and you just called him cute.

You were one of the most popular girls in school, he liked you, and you just called him cute.

You continued. "You gotta put some false confidence on it! Bite your lip or something. Get into the music, man."

Peter's face was the reddest it'd ever been and you were sure that he was probably never used to getting a compliment by the way he was acting.

"U-uh, um. Wowww, heh, uh thanks," he mumbled, not really sure how to respond. His voice was wavering and he looked anywhere but you. "So, uh, you want to r-run it again?"

But of course, like all good things, it came it an end.

The gym coach came out clapping his hands together, demanding everyone's attention. "Okay everybody time for drills!"

You sighed. "Guess I'll just have to go with the first one. Thanks anyway, Peter," you said with a smile. "You've got some moves."

Once you turned away, immediately your face fell.That sucked.

You walked back to where Asher was getting up from his where he sat with MJ, and to your surprise, they were actually having conversation.

He waved and tilted his head to Peter in question. You shrugged in response, giving a 'kinda' motion with your hand.

"Hey [Y/N]!"

You turned back around and saw Peter with a cute and bashful smile on his face. "What up?"

"I-i was....I was wondering if m-maybe you'd...like to, um, maybe do this again tomorrow?"

On the insides, you were totally freaking out. This was great. You thought you'd scared him away but he wanted to do it again. "Yeah, totally! We can go to my house after school and-"

"I can't right after school," he rushed. "How about 6?"

"Sure. That's fine. 6 it is. I, uh, I need your number so I can send you my address." You whipped out your phone and gave it to him so that he could put his number in. Before sending your address, you paused. "You're not some psycho killer, are you, Peter?"

He laughed. "Nah, you've got nothing to worry about from me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~that afternoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

---

KingAsh👑😎: he there yet?

[Y/N]: nope

[Y/N]: said he's on his way tho

[Y/N]: hes lucky hes cute otherwise I'd be mad that hes so late

KingAsh👑😎: pls don't tell me u fell in love after one tiktok🙄

[Y/N]: of course I didn't jeez man

[Y/N]: but i mean im not blind👀

[Y/N]: also...

[Y/N]: whats up with u and that Michelle girl?? did you get her number?

KingAsh👑😎: ...

KingAsh👑😎: Fuck u

[Y/N]: u wish

KingAsh👑😎: well only if you think you can handle me😏

[Y/N]: omg just stop talking forever

---

Your head popped up from your phone when you heard the doorbell ring. You sent a quick text to Asher and ran downstairs to open the door for Peter.

"Uh, hey!," he said with a smile. "Sorry for being so late."

"Hey Peter," you greeted. You paused. "Um, mind if I call you Pete?"

He blushed, scratching his head. "Nah I don't mind. I get that alot," he said, stepping into your home.

"M'kay, I got some pizza in my room if we end up getting hungry and ahh, let's go up," you said, leading Peter to your room.

Peter looked around and noticed how quiet it was. "Where are your parents?," he asked.

"Well that's a million dollar question," you chuckled. "I live with my uncle."

"Oh," Peter hummed. "I live with my aunt." He announced, a bit too strangely happily.

"So, it's a Friday evening," you said, shifting topics. "We've got all the time in the world! So let's get it! I'll teach you everything..."

What you didn't know was that Peter spent almost all of his time on patrol scrolling through all the popular trends of tiktok and even finding your page and practically obsessing over it for hours. He'd studied and prepared and he was determined to impress you. And hopefully, if everything went according to his plan, you'd think he was more than cute by the end of the day.

---

Part 2 here

[datingdonovan]

Hello Cece!! I just saw your new hq game and was thinking it i could join if its still open :)

My pronouns are she/her

Im an INFJ, 6w5 and a taurus, i would describe myself as an ambiverted because my mood changes a lot depending on the vibes i get from the environment, im also very independent but love to be with my close ones, i really like laughing too and im always trying to be nice to people, i also have a crackhead side and smile or cry very easily (im quite sensitive).

My relationships usually dont start bc i feel like something isn’t right, i have some trust issues and i need someone who is always there even if it’s bothering me but never pressures, the biggest red flags that cause me to not want to be with someone are 1. feeling too sexualised, 2. feeling pressured to things and 3. feeling that they don’t care about me, i tend to distance myself without realising so i need someone who is present and makes me feel nice about myself in all aspects

Neway, this game is quite fun and interesting since it makes you realise about how you feel and how you are so i really liked it!! I hope i did it right but if not please let me know through dm :) im also open for chatting anytime!! I hope you have a great week and please remember to hydrate yourself and stay safe <3

a/n: oh my word. took me a sec to think of who to pick but all I have to say is I feel like I have so many random vibes about this man that are maybe not canon compliant at all. I don't really know lol. but he is like, my comfort character ok???? and I feel like In my mind he really really does a lot of what you need and I just had this thought that he's it!!! he's it!! for you so here I give him to you take care of this boy <3 I hope you really enjoy!! im so glad you liked the game and thank you so much for your well wishes! come into my ask box anytime :):)

ok Elena I know it's been a while since you've felt comfortable enough to be with someone and I totally totally get it. I would NEVER try to set you up with someone unless I seriously knew he was a good guy, and I just feel like it's time. it's time for you to try dating again, and you need someone really safe to do that with. so... a little begrudgingly... im gonna get you in touch with my bff... koganegawa

I swear. he is the best. like, the best the best. like, I'm almost sad he'll be spending more time away from me if I set him up with you, but here goes nothing. okay, TOP of the list of why you two should be together: The man is the most easygoing, happy go lucky guy you will literally ever meet. he is so CHILL I swear he's literally so sociable and fun and kind and would never ever ever get annoyed or like frustrated if you were largely calling the shots on what you're comfortable with, the pace you want to go, etc. he's just so laid back he'd be cool with anything as long as it means he gets to spend fun times with a person he enjoys!! and FUN it will BE im telling you!! this man will absolutely indulge every silly and hilarious idea you have and he WILL crack you up on a daily basis. you can 100% expect him to be doing goofy antics with you and all your friends and enjoying every minute of it :):):) he's also super social and very very emotionally attuned to the people he loves, and I think a HUGE thing for him Is making sure that everyone around him is comfortable and having fun, so he definitely would take note of any nervous or stressed behavior from you and try to respond to how you're feeling without being weird about it. truly he just wants his s/o to be enjoying your time together as much as he is so whatever that means for you, he's willing to try it. oh my gosh I think you'd just love him I mean from the calm and comfortable and totally relaxed getting-to-know-you phase to the endless laughs and calming smiles and quiet low-key nights you'll share once you get closer to the totally attentive way he'll always take your feelings and your unspoken mood changes into account, he is truly THE GUY!!! I think you'd love him because he's always down to be funny and make new friends and try new things, but his way of interacting with the world is so welcoming and energizing like he is SO SO chill and stable and so OPEN to suggestions and new ideas and he has this encouraging laid back approach to anything that comes his way and nothing is gonna shake that openminded, open-armed, curious and awed way he lives his life. so like, he will match your energy when you're at your most extroverted and silly and carefree, but he's also soooo open and in tune and ready to help you and respond to your needs when you're feeling down in whatever way works best. like he'd be so fine if you need space or attention or you want him to try some different way of expressing his feelings like as long as you can communicate to him what you need and sometimes even if you can't he'll just figure it out lol perceptive MAN!! he will try it bc he just wants you to be comfortable and be yourself in everything you do including your relationship. never wants you to feel pressured or stressed about being with him. ugh he is a KING. anyway I love him. brb inviting him over to meet you now.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be 🤬 as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]

[xanthicantag]

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled  Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there)  But like, maybe daffodils? 

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot.  I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again.  Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield?  or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right??  On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target.  I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game?  And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right.  Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct.   Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon.  Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit.  Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier?  You know?  Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3?  that’s some good shit.  But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers.  I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.  

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life!  Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years.  A nice bound book though?  *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain.  It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour.  A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster. 

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing.  Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace?  Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf.  Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection.  Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck.  This is so hard.  I want to be, so many.  No you know what, fuck it.  I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face.  Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um.  Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties???  Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know.  And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable.  Not gone or broken.  Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh?  You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it.  Walk away sometimes.  Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES.  Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket.  The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options).  A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe.  There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard,  Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those?  and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

[wswe-autism-fic]

this is my theory on the entire timeline of mario (idk why but i need to share it all of a sudden)

this does link to this post about wario btw (i will mention it later on) and trust me, this gets weird.

THE MAINLINE GAMES

the mainline games are at the centre of the timeline. everything, from the arcade game to bowser's fury. they all take place in the order they came out, unless a game is specifically set in the past or future. i am more of a sonic kid, so i haven't played all of the mario games, but as far as i'm aware, none are set in the past or future anyway. games i would also put here are any of the canon-compliant side games, such as mario and luigi, paper mario, etc.

BEFORE THE MAINLINE GAMES

i honestly can't think of much that happens before the mainline games. the best i can give you is that luigi's mansion could possibly take place beforehand. that being said, it would make sense for luigi's mansion to be literally anywhere on the timeline and probably would make less sense to be beforehand. again, i'm not a mario enthusiast, so if someone can confirm that there are any other games that should take place here, please do correct me.

edit: i realised that yes, actually, there are games that take place before! games like yoshi's island, where the mario brothers, peach, etc. are all babies, are definitely before the mainline games lol

DIRECTLY AFTER THE MAINLINE GAMES

this would be things such as warioware, possibly luigi's mansion (again, i have literally no idea where that goes), anything along the lines of that. not much goes here tbh.

YEARS, POSSIBLY DECADES LATER

any of the party games. there is no way they are all getting along that well lmao. when i say 'the party games' i'll be specific: anything that involves the mario cast doing completely random activities that have nothing to do with what they regularly do.

MARIO TENNIS (2000) WHY MUST YOU CAUSE SUCH PAIN

something that would have caused an easy fix is if i just made this a visual thing, but no, i just had to be lazy. ok, so, we can deduce by wario's outfit if something happens before or after mario tennis. if wario is in his biker outfit, he hasn't met waluigi yet, therefore, the game takes place before whenever mario tennis comes out. this means that if waluigi merely exists in a game, it has taken place after mario tennis. if wario is wearing dungarees, the game takes place after mario tennis. anything made before mario tennis with wario in it and anything with biker wario takes place before mario tennis.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE MEDIA

if the game features biker wario AND waluigi, it completely destroys my entire theory. so screw it. that's an alternate universe. in my defence, the majority of games that feature both couldn't happen anyway (eg smash bros).

the mario movie goes without saying, you knew that wasn't gonna be

unfortunately, most comics and animations aren't canon compliant, so definately are AUs. sorry.

THE BIT WHERE I LOSE MY MIND

undertale is canon in mario.

undertale is canon in mario.

...

please just hear me out

look at sans and papyrus for just 1 second.

do they seem familiar?

HAHHAHAHA! YOU'RE WRONG! THEY ARE JUST LIKE:

now, i know what you may be thinking, 'but jupitercl0uds, i thought you shipped wario and waluigi,' ik, ik, you've just got to hold on for a minute.

wario and waluigi are sans and papyrus in a past life. sans is still lazy and short while waluigi is still self-obsessed and tall. there are more ways they are connected, but that is besides the point. the point is, wario was reborn as sans. he has plenty of memory of his past life. as he saw papyrus grow, he himself grew horrified as he realised who his little brother was. papyrus, on the other hand, had barely any memory of his past life. sans becomes self aware due to questioning everything, but he loves waluigi so much that he's willing to accept that he'll just have to move on and accept that papyrus is his brother. he may never be able to love him in the same way again, but he is still happy to know that he is at least with waluigi, always.

i feel in the pacifist route, sans would leave the underground believing that he and papyrus were made for each other, regardless of the relationship the two have. he would feel as if every life, they find each other and love each other, regardless of how easy it is to find the other, regardless of what kind of love they have.

this means that it's ok that their relationship is ambiguous, it always will be.

[x0401x]

(me again) i went and read the chapter with the market scene and you're right they did changed it quite a bit, also agree WHERE IS THE GILBERT AND HODGINS BROPT IN THIS EP...ahem, and if you dont mind i'm gonna ask: what were your thoughts on gil and violets relationship this ep?

Yeah, I mean, Violet and Lux are great but the best BroTP of this series is Gil and Hodgins, hands down. Also gotta take this opportunity to say that anime!Hodgins just keeps straying farther from his novel counterpart. “As always, you don’t understand women” my ass. He’s a gentleman in canon. And his sexuality has yet to make itself known in the anime too. It feels like KyoAni is trying hard to make him straight. If we don’t at least get to see the scene of him seducing John, I’m calling bullshit.

(more under the cut because this is huge)

Okay, on to my impressions on anime!Gilbert and anime!Violet… it’s a lot to talk about, which is why it took me so long to reply. I’m just… so mad that I’ve become numb, lol. I gotta go reread chapter 6 to cleanse my soul.

Maybe I should start with Violet. The amount of emotion she’s showing is ridiculously disproportional, as always. Her assertions that Gil is definitely fine and that everyone is lying to her are too irrational and going all the way to Dietfriet to ask about Gil was plain weird. I also don’t like how her child self acted as if she had to be “tamed” by Gil, like he had to earn her trust. He was afraid of her at first in canon, while she was the one who chose him as her master.

Speaking of emotion, I felt next to nothing while watching this episode. The whole thing seems to be as lacking as the previous ones, even though it should have been the most emotionally compelling part of the story. Everything is badly explained and everyone just goes along with the flow like they’re string dolls. It’s forced and feels unnatural. For example, Violet’s first meeting with Gil. His brother literally comes to him with a skinny, ravaged-looking child that he was keeping in a potato sack and goes “I’m giving this weapon to you” without any further explanation on where he found her and what exactly she is, and all Gil says is “I understand; I will take her in”. Like????? What the fuck???????

The world-building is also in need of more detail. A lot of things seem out of place. For instance, the navy and the army don’t seem to be hostile towards one another in the anime, and there was no mention of Dietfriet having cut his ties with everyone in the family save for Gil.

I’m also shaken by the fact it seems Gil is hiding from everyone in the anime, including his family. If so, then that’s a major plot hole. I mean, how would he have convinced everyone at work to simply lie to his relatives that he had died? It’s a literal crime. And if he didn’t do that, the only thing I can think of is that he made his entire family lie that he was dead, and even went as far as requesting a fake grave. Either way is heartless as shit. The first one would probably be the worst of all, because imagine him coming back home after Violet finds out that he was actually alive like “LMAO JUST KIDDING”. I would also like to stress that, if the second option is true, that would make Hodgins and Dietfriet pretty OOC. Hodgins because he should be sadder if he really thinks his one and only best friend died in war, and Dietfriet because, if he thought that Gilbert was dead, he would have done anything in his power to kill Violet for failing to protect him (though Dietfriet is already OOC for not being as much of a softie with Gil as he is in canon). But of course, there’s always the third option of KyoAni deciding to say “fuck it all” and killing off Gilbert. At this point, I’d rather have them do that.

Anime!Gil is just too awful, lol. In the novel, he finds himself at several dead-ends as to leaving Violet to someone else’s care, but none of them are being presented in the anime. He’s cold as hell too. He arrives home with Violet like “yeah, you just give her a bath or something and don’t tell anyone about her” as if it’s none of his business. Also, anime!Gil had never seen Violet fighting, so I have no idea how she ended up killing those guys in the training barracks. He could have just said that his brother had made a mistake or something, because any sane person would at least be asking “what are you on” when being told that a thin little girl is a weapon without any further detail.

No idea why Gil didn’t just leave Violet in an orphanage if he didn’t know of her abilities. Plus, felt like he didn’t want to send her to war not because she was a literal child, but because she wouldn’t be useful enough since she’s “too unstable”. He disobeys orders from his superiors to back his claim, which is as odd as Violet disobeying orders from him (unless he’s dying). But even weirder than that was Gil teaching Violet how to read and write. I mean, if he went as far as giving her an education, she was basically ready to live somewhere else like a normal kid. He could have ordered her to forge her own death and sent her to Tiffany and Patrick. So yeah, another plot hole.

About the aforementioned market scene, I’m so full of salt, lmfao. I hated so much that Gil said he was grateful for Violet’s deeds until he realized how fucked-up that is and stopped talking. Just what in all the nine hells? He was basically making a child risk her life and get a shitton of injuries not for the country, but for himself, since he was the only person she fought for. Anime!Gilbert is a complete imbecile, and his charm of “stoic on the outside, actually melted butter on the inside” and “young dad doing his best to raise his adopted daughter and failing marvelously” have pretty much disappeared.

What also disappeared were Violet’s war merits. She’s not as awesome as in the novel, so obviously her nicknames (“Warrior Maiden”, “Leidenschaftlich’s Witch”, etc) are unwarranted, and Gilbert is the one who fires the signal flare of victory instea of her. It doesn’t seem like she has as big of a role either, and we also don’t see how any of her fellow soldiers treat her aside from Gil and Hodgins. There’s no scene whatsoever displaying how Gil was the only person who treated Violet for what she was, a child, while others would either harass her verbally, try to molest/spy on her or not want to get involved with her at all.

We can’t forget how everyone’s fear became true: no Witchcraft. KyoAni wrote it off. I just wanna know why. Just give me a reason, Ishidate. I need an explanation for that one.

Aaaand… this has been a small glimpse of my bottomless disgust for this adaptation. Anyone who wants to e-mail Kyoto Animation requesting a remake has my full support.

[cooliogirl101]

If you're doing the commentary thing still: from 'To Love a Monster', "The fact that Shunsui likes to frequent the Rukongai every few months is a little known secret." to "“Originally, I wasn’t planning on it,” he admits, which is true. Recruiting events like these have a tendency of turning out dreadfully dull. Now, though… “But recent events have made me consider making an exception.”" That might be over 500, if so just cut if off when you feel like it.

(My comments are in bold)

The fact that Shunsui likes to frequent the Rukongai everyfew months is a little known secret. He keeps it that way because he’s foundthat hiding in the nearby districts is the best way to keep Lisa off his backabout his paperwork. (Lisa fighting a losing battle there)

(Plus, once he gets past district three or so, hardly anyonerecognizes him and it’s…nice to be looked at without the usual accompanying aweor adoration. To be treated like a normal person.) (like all the man wants is some people to chill with, he literally invites all his enemies to be his drinking buddies you can’t get much more chill than that)

He’s frequenting a local shogi club in the 4thDistrict of West Rukongai when he comes across one of the regulars grumblingabout “damn genius kids taking all of his money.” A quick glance at the gameshows that the man lost by an impressively large margin. (lol like Sousuke would have tolerated anything less, the proud little shit)

“Who was your opponent, if you don’t mind me asking?”Shunsui asks, interested. It isn’t often he comes across promising new players;it’d be nice to find someone who could offer him a challenge. (be careful what you wish for old man)

“Some random brat,” the man grunts. “Looked ‘bout nine,brown hair, brown eyes. He just left; if you want to catch up with him, you’dbetter hurry.”

After murmuring a word of thanks, Shunsui heads out of theclub and just manages to catch a glimpse of brown hair before it vanishesacross a corner. A quick shunpo brings him to a nearby rooftop, where he findsthat the kid looks…oddly familiar. It takes Shunsui a few minutes of followingthe boy around before he’s able to place him as the bold little thief from afew years back, and when he does Shunsui can’t help but feel faintly surprised.While souls aren’t exactly confined to the district they’re sent to after theirdeath, between a lack of funds and the risk of running into hollows in theforests separating the districts, he’s found that few are comfortable withtraveling around. Given that the last time he saw the boy, they were in the 37thdistrict of East Rukongai and they’re currently in the 4th districtof West Rukongai…well, it suggests a certain level of mobility that Shunsuihadn’t expected. (that’s because most kids don’t fight hollows for fun)

“So are you justgonna hide there and stare at me all day, or…?” The boy calls out abruptly.Shunsui considers his options, shrugs, and proceeds to jump down from therooftop, where he finds himself on the receiving end of a suspicious glare.

“Ah, so you noticed me. I was wondering if you would,” hesays, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He isn’t exactly surprised—hewasn’t really trying to hide in the first place, and he’s discovered thatRukongai kids tend to have better instincts than most.

“You’ve been following me. Why?” The boy cuts in, expressiongiving no indication as to whether or not he recognizes him. After a moment ofconsideration, Shunsui decides to go with the truth. (Smart choice, Shunsui. I mean, they still won’t trust you but at least you haven’t given them a reason to actively distrust you)

“Saw that game you just played and was pretty impressed,” hesays with an easy smile. “Don’t suppose you’d indulge me in a match?”

“I’d love to, I really would, but nee-chan says I’m notallowed to go off with lonely old men,” the boy answers without missing a beat.Shunsui chokes, feeling more than a little indignant at the implication, andproceeds to revise his opinion of the boy from ‘brat’ to ‘impertinent littleshit.’

“Hey now, watch yourself! I’m not lonely! I happen to havemany friends, thank you very much. And I’m not old either!” He adds grumpily.“I’ll have you know that I’m in the prime of my life.”

“Mmm, if you say so,” the boy says, tilting his head to theside with an innocent smile. “Is that why you were stalking a prepubescent boy?Nee-chan did say something about menin their mid-life crises having weird habits.”

“And where is yoursister, by the way? Seems a bit careless of her to just let you wander off byyourself, doesn’t it?” Shunsui asks, deciding to change the subject tosomething a little less awkward. The boy’s eyes flash in response but whatsurprises Shunsui is the briefest upsurge in reiatsu that accompanies it.

“Nee-chan knows that I can take care of myself,” he saysdefensively, voice just a little too tight to be casual. (The implication that he can’t take care of himself and needs his big sister to protect him is a surefire way to piss him off. Especially since he takes quite a lot of pride in his ability to protect Sayuri). 

“I have no doubt that you can, but nonetheless I admit Ifind myself a little surprised that she’d leave you on your own,” Shunsuimurmurs, extending his reiatsu. He hadn’t noticed it before, hadn’t beenlooking for it, but now he can tell that there are small fluctuations in theboy’s energy—telltale signs that it’s being suppressed. “Unless, of course…”

As if on cue, a small figure slips out from the shadowsbehind him as the other half of the duo goes to stand beside her brother. Looking at them, Shunsui is once again taken aback by just how alike theylook—the girl’s features are a touch more delicate while the boy’s eyes are ashade lighter, but aside from that they look eerily similar. (yeah the omnitsukudo would literally kill to get her. Hasn’t even reached puberty yet and already has enough control over her reiatsu to hide from a captain? Granted, said captain wasn’t trying very hard to find her, but still)

“Otouto,” the girl greets her brother, although she doesn’ttake her eyes off him. It also doesn’t escape his notice that neither of themhave referred to each other by name so far. “I thought I told you not to speakto suspicious characters.”

Oh, come on, Shunsuithinks in exasperation. First implied pedophile, and now ‘suspiciouscharacter’? At this rate, these kids are going to give him a complex. (and yet, in some weird way, he finds them charming.)

“Maa, maa, I mean no harm,” Shunsui says, holding his handsup. He isn’t surprised to note the same fluctuations in the girl’s reiatsu,although hers are far more subtle. It does bring up the question though ofexactly how much reiatsu these kids have,for them to feel the need to suppress it. Hiding his reiatsu is all butsecond nature to him as a captain—it has to be, since the slightest loss ofcontrol over it tends to send grown men sprawling to their knees—but for two kids to do so? Who are these children,exactly? (Kyouraku: “You mean to tell me you’ve developed better reiatsu control than most seated officers on your own?” Twins: “What, like it’s hard?”)

“Would it help if I introduced myself? Kyouraku Shunsui, Captain ofthe Gotei 13’s Eighth Division, at your service.”

This time, the surge in the boy’s reiatsu is far morepronounced but interestingly enough, the girl’s doesn’t waver. A testament toher control, perhaps…? 

“And what business does a captain have with two kids fromthe Rukongai?” The girl asks skeptically, not bothering to offer her own name.

“Well, as someone who visits these areas relativelyfrequently, I figured it was my duty to inform you of some of the localattractions. See, in two weeks, district three of North Rukongai will beholding its annual dango festival,” he says, studying them closely. “It’s alsowhere a few members from the Gotei 13’s First Division will be holding aninformation session for those who might be interested in becoming shinigami.”

“Don’t you need high spiritual energy levels in order tobecome shinigami, though?” The girl questions, expression unreadable.

“Of course, but I don’t think that’s something either of youneed to worry about, am I right?” He asks with a smile. The boy stiffens andthe girl’s eyes narrow minutely, but to their credit, neither of them botherdenying it. “You don’t need to come; I’m not forcing you to. Just…consider it,okay?” (In which the twins meet their match in the ‘seeing through bullshit’ department. Kyouraku isn’t buying their act of ‘harmless impertinent children who don’t know any better’ any more than they’re buying his act of ‘harmless old man’)

With that, he turns around and begins to head back in thedirection of the Seireitei, whistling to himself as he goes. He gets about tenfeet before the boy—and he really needs to learn their names, he can’t justkeep referring to them as ‘the girl’ and ‘the boy’—calls out.

“Will you be there? At the information session, I mean,” heasks. Shunsui pauses, but doesn’t turn around.

“Originally, I wasn’t planning on it,” he admits, which istrue. Recruiting events like these have a tendency of turning out dreadfully dull. Now, though… “Butrecent events have made me consider making an exception.”

(because despite everything...he’s taken a liking to them)