#unless you really want to do it by hand
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what a thing to admit is now on wattpad!
i haven't used it in a long while, so i'm getting used to it again. as such, just a reminder that i only have accounts on tumblr, wattpad and ao3, all under the same username. if you see my work elsewhere, please let me know because it could be stolen or plagiarized work.
if you'd like to read it elsewhere, you can find it over in my blog, or in ao3!
#i have been writing for a while but ever since i opened this blog things are considerably calmer#either way it'll always a risk#that's partly why i love wattpad's system#you can't just highlight and copy a story#unless you really want to do it by hand#but you aren't that easily protected in ao3 or tumblr#arséne lupin iii x reader#arsène lupin iii x reader#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin iii x reader#lupin x reader#lupin the 3rd#jigen daisuke#mine fujiko#ishikawa goemon xiii#inspector zenigata#fic: what a thing to admit#mary speaks
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Togame Jo’s greeting kisses to you are always way too long.
The kind of affection that’s usually savored in private, instead displayed wherever, whenever, and every single time you see each other—he always takes two to three minutes just to kiss you hello, abandoning the task at hand (dozing off, attending to Choji, managing the Shishitoren) to mosey your way and pull your lips to his in something just a little too sloppy to be sweet, but a little too sweet to be… too distasteful.
Everyone’s used to it by now, even Sakura, knowing that when you arrive, there’s always a going to be a pause in action just for the sappy display of Togame drooping over you and announcing you to the crowd physically.
(What’s not readily exposed, however, and especially not in a room full of men, is that it’s not just a kiss Togame’s giving you, not just a hello that he hides behind his long bangs and your cheeks between his warm hands, but the kindest stare and sweetest little whisper, “missed you, baby,” as he wraps you up in his arms.)
#togame#jo togame x reader#it’s not tongue but it’s def one of those really deep smooches#when he just needs to breath you in for like … 10 - 15 seconds lmfao#and then do that like 3 more times lmao#by the time it becomes a thing everyone is just like ‘Jesus curhrist’ and knows to turn away for it unless they wanna see pda#i don’t see togame as going overboard with pda but there’s definitely this#he’s got three things… no wait… four#greet kisses… holding hands… hugs… and he always wants to be the little spoon so u can scratch his back or his hair or play with him#while he’s doing something else#anyway I know you’re just the couple that’s always smiling at each other too#you get to the ori and wave and he’s just breaking out in a little grin and going right in to swoop you up#I’m gonna go bald I’m tearing my hair out#can’t believe I’m using a tag too jeez#caitie post#gen
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How much longer 'til the snake breaks free? How much longer 'til your great days cease? How much longer 'til your strength takes leave? You rely on wit, and people die on it, whoa
#sidestep#ortega#chen#anathema#fhr#pulp draws#really rough and shitty animatic because i made this in 3 hours with the worst editing program known to man BUT TO THE TWO (2) EPIC THE-#MUSICAL FHR ENJOYERS IN THE CHAT. DO YOU SEE THE VISION OR AM I INSANE. BE HONEST#i literally cannot stop thinking about ortega as odysseus but like#Only ortega as odysseus#i can Not imagine any other fhr character as the cast#maybe chen as eurylochus but even then their ideals diverge a lot#making this animatic made me realize its never elaborated in text How chen tried to kill himself during hb#which means reality is whatever i want (unless theres a patreon post about it)#so to me sui step and chen are blow your brains out buddies <3#me: im gonna try to get this done quick so ill make sure not to focus on making it look good#me immediately: if i dont draw anathemas hand right im starting heartbreak 2.0#I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DRAW THE ENTIRETY OF SIDESTEPS MASK IN THE LAST PANEL#FUCK#IGNORE THAT
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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.
#barry.txt#taylor swift#putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush#which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general#whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music#her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate#shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes#onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt#i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort#to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her#if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of#milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share#taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly#shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand#idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable#in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush#and scene#should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine#i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine
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to the surprise of approximately no one, i am thinking about video game mechanics and mcrp and c!owen and violence again. i am thinking about interesting accidental resonances and i am thinking about what someone's medium of choice makes it easy to tell stories about. the thing is, owen's pov of outsiders is a story that, despite being told almost exclusively in minecraft, really does not want to be a story set in minecraft.
what i mean by this is that cc!owen repeatedly and deliberately tries to prevent minecraft logic from existing in the story he is telling. according to him, things operate in the messy space of real-world physics, and the fundamental structure of the world aligns much more with our reality than with, i dunno, a series of 1s and 0s. of course they can't climb the vines to get to the top of the walls, they'd get tired well before the reach the top, never mind that minecraft doesn't have any mechanic in place to keep you from clinging to a vine for as long as you want. of course acho drowning during the underwater maze game could have been from something being wrong with the potions, never mind that minecraft potions come out the exact same way every time. of course it matters that owen punched mohwee for going into the maze, but only once, because he couldn't bring himself to do it again. never mind that a punch in minecraft rarely means much.
a single punch in minecraft doesn't mean anything. or it means almost everything, which is why it doesn't mean anything. but the outsiders, at least for a little while, make a world where a punch matters, where it's the kind of thing you go running to tell other people about because it means a real fight's brewing. mohwee punches graecie, and someone comes running to let owen know. we're meant to react to it the way we would if it happened irl. we're treating this seriously now!
except that's really hard to do in minecraft, because minecraft isn't a game that gives you many avenues for... body language. for the kind of nonverbal communication you do by touching someone gently. try as they might to pretend otherwise, it is built into the bones of any minecraft world that the only way you can touch another person for sure, in a way that the game has an obvious mechanical system in place to respond with, is by punching them. so two things here.
one is that yeah, the outsiders creators stop acting like a punch is a punch not super long into the series, because there is no vanilla mechanic for [grabbing you by the arm and dragging you away from the gates]; you have to use what you have at your disposal (such as the left-click button on your mouse) to gesture at the thing you actually mean. owen emulates the act of dragging someone around by punching magic at one point. nobody, in-universe or out, reacts like he was actually hitting her, and i'm not saying we should. but there is that disconnect between what the story is supposed to be (maybe owen pushes her away from the gates, maybe he's trying to pull her back), and what the game will allow them to do.
two: despite the ways that the game runs counter to the kind of story owen et al. are trying to tell, this limitation wrt punching still produces some really interesting resonances that require us to accept and pay attention to the fact that no matter what owen says, this is a story told through minecraft, inflected by its mechanics.
(side bar: i'm focusing on owen for this, but i think you can expand this idea to other characters, maybe the whole cast, by thinking about how both the story world and the game world are, on some fundamental level, set up to not allow for kind or gentle connections between people. you can't actually put your arm around someone else. you can't actually wipe away their tears or lean on their shoulder. the entire world the outsiders live inside of, both from a game perspective and a roleplay perspective, is designed to funnel them toward big dramatic gestures and cyclical violence. the easiest way to touch someone is violently. and still, there are the gestures of care, carved out of what the game will allow. sharing food. speaking softly to each other. opening the trapdoor to your bunker and letting the people behind you hurry down the ladder to hide. so you've never learned how to touch someone without violence. you can still know how to put your whole body between the person you care for and the danger. you can still die for them. isn't outsiders such a story of caring, despite, despite, despite?)
anyway. about c!owen. i think it's fair to say he's a character shaped by violence from the jump. he comes up the elevator and is almost instantly making and hoarding weapons. he tells himself he has to protect everyone, and the first two ways he decides to do this are by making a sparring ring where he intends to teach them to fight, and by threatening to break their legs. for the latter half of the series, he is literally sleeping on the edge of a sparring ring, all his personal effects literally pushed off to the side to leave room for this sand pit in the middle. even before he gets the memories of his time as a soldier back, we can see that this is how he interfaces with and understands the world. violence is in his bones.
as a result, i am kind of crazy about the fact that the literal game mechanics he engages with reinforce this image of him. there's this brief period of time really early on where i guess they haven't really got the prox chat range to yell to each other from a distance, and owen decides to take his weapon of choice and fire an arrow in the path of the person he's trying to talk to. (i know for sure he does this with rasbi and with at least one other person. forgive me, i don't recall who the other person was.) when you're getting shot at, yeah, you sure do generally want to look in the direction that arrow came from to see who's trying to shoot you! that'll get someone's attention! that is generally how people play the game!
at another point much later in his series, a group of outsiders find an enormous crane towering over a section of the maze, and owen pulls out a bow and aims it upward. it took me a second while watching to realize that it's because when you draw a bow in the game, you also zoom in on the thing you're aiming at. owen was trying to get a closer look at the crane, so he grabbed his weapon and used it to get a better understanding of the world.
more broadly, owen uses spears and arrows to point at things, to check distances and investigate stuff he doesn't want to or can't get close to. when he and magic first notice ash up on the walls, he fires arrows up at her, not really to hit but to see how she reacts. then he keeps firing them, having noticed the barrier blocks (in-fiction, the screen that makes up the false sky). later, while talking to chat in a high-up part of the maze, he demonstrates again that the sky is fake by hurling a spear into it.
out of character, these are just creative workarounds for the medium's limitations. in character, however, these instances make it clear that every single thing about the way owen interacts with his world is coloured by the fact that he has used weapons and will continue to use them, that his reaching for a bow right after waking up wasn't some fluke, that even with his memories wiped out he is a character who has been trained to reach for violence before anything else.
just by playing the game, cc!owen adds another dimension to this character, because he is playing a game where There Exist game mechanics meant to facilitate violence, and this is about the cycles of violence c!owen finds himself trapped in and perpetuating and it is also about how violence is so deeply ingrained in him that it is an inextricable part of his world.
#sparrowsong#outsiders smp#hey. hi. i have a lot of feelings about this topic that i've been meaning to write up for ages#waving my hands around. do you get it? do you get what i'm saying?#this... came out longer than i meant for it to#and there's still a whole separate thing one could write about... unconventional and roundabout ways of expressing care#as enforced by both the way the medium works and the in-universe starr people who are interested in pitting these people against each other#iiii will not be writing that one though. (unless?)#i think one more thing i really want to post from my outsiders watch and then. i will be free. and i can watch more stuff.#god there's so much outsiders stuff to watch.
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What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭
So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.
With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.
Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.
But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.
#greenteacup asks#sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa#Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now#because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending#I have a Process#is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are.#I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now#i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life#that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal#and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed#so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed?#none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not?#but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then#I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point#I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene#It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount#because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter!#the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD#you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater.#AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it.#I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.
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fic where Izzy works at the DMV and Stede is trying to get his license renewed but Izzy keeps finding new reasons to deny him
#to be clear izzy is the hero in this. stede should not be allowed on the road that man would be a complete menace#i feel like izzy would do good at the dmv what with the bureaucracy and zero expectation to be nice#not really stizzy unless you want it to be i guess#our flag means death#ofmd#izzy hands#stede bonnet#fanfic ideas
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everyday im fighting for my life because i always hate the sex parts of my gay porn comics
#i can count on my hand the number of times ive actually enjoyed reading sex in a yaoi#like solid 30-50% of the time i feel neutral reading it#and other 50-70% i feel like UGHHH *groans* to OH MY GOD NOOOOOO **squemish**#because i dont like sex unless its established relationship and like about love and emotions etc etc#im really picky and its my green onions when i have to get through first 20 chaps of sucking and fucking that doesnt have enough emotional#value yet because they dont like eachother enough yey#fml everytime i want sex its in a damn shounen ai because i read 30 chaps of shounen ai and go THIS IS AMAZING. NOW PLEASE FUCK#I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE BANG ON SCREEN I WILL DO ANYTHING TO SEE THJS#Ill always say i love yaoi because i do and saying shounen ai makes people think im lumped with anti fujos (all anti fujos should die)#but ngl when i was younger i was like yeahhh i prefer shounen ai and tbh i think i still do because i love sex but shounen ai always has#better quality control because they arent relying on chapter 1 sucking and fucking#instead they need to grab the audience in other ways. namely being funny or crazy
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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space
and I found the whole ass wrong book
its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do
#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook#oh hp lovecraft#ill piss on your grave but also#i can like#relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible#the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories#my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better#which is setting myself up for failure#but like#cosmic horror is in us#its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness#because no matter Why they are doing something Now#understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things#or just cause another horror#this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw#aaaa#also if you read this far#any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl#not like Hush#is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago#i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn#i havent seen most#maybe i should just watch carrie
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Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.
First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.
Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.
Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.
Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).
#hazbin hotel#vent#kinda#i just think it's a weird double standard#'yeah don't fix people's art! unless theyre working on a project that was picked up by a big company then it's fine to fix their art'#like???#why is that a mentality that exists?? they're still viv's characters#and you can still redesign them without shitting on the official designs#pretty much all of my redesign notes for hazbin hotel are 'how can i make this character easier and more fun for me to draw'#because i specialize in furry art. i don't usually draw humanoids lol#so giving vox some shark traits for example or making adam more birdlike would make them more fun for me to draw#why can't we redesign them based on that without saying 'i think it's weird that this decision was made for this character's design'#they're still viv's characters. they're still her designs. stop pointing out everything you think is wrong with them for fucks sake#we don't need to talk about hazbin's character designs. we don't need to 'fix' them#just say they aren't for you and move on. there's literally nothing inherently wrong with them#i also feel like not enough people actually do research into the historical contexts of some characters#and i think it'd be really fuckin cool to see people redesign characters more based on headcanons based on that than anything#look into how the mafia operated in new york in the early/mid 1900s for angel. look into radio hosts in the 1920s for alastor.#look into las vegas culture during husk's lifetime for husk. look into the culture surrounding tv hosts in the 1950s for vox.#LOOK INTO THE CULTURE OF THE ELIZABETHAN ERA FOR ZESTIAL.#(i just presented zestial ideas to anyone who wants them on a silver platter. you're welcome)#(also new headcanon that zestial was friends with shakespeare in life because why the fuck not)#(when the tags get wildly out of hand)
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A friend of mine named Box of Rocks/Kelbox made a banger of a song that inspired this drawing. This is also my drawing to celebrate SUNNY's bday : D
Originally posted July 20, 2022
#i still really want people to hear this song but it is an fnf song#so the only way to release it is to make the sprites and it's an original song#i hope at some point the team and i can finally do it#the song essentially is like a reimagined final battle for omori but that's all i can say#some small details is the red hand playing one side which was meant to be sunny#the other hand is mari's ghost hand#tho i messed up cause it's the left hand#so it doesn't look like two people playing the piano together#unless you see it as when the left hand is over the right like in some songs#also hilariously mari does appear like 4 times technically including her fucking corpse#omori#omori spoilers#omori fanart#omori sunny#omori basil#omori mari#omori kel#omori aubrey#omori hero#my art
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Looking for advice- I'm applying for jobs at the moment and feeling a bit guilty about not sending in as many applications as possible, but I'm worried that if I apply for more than one thing at a time, I won't know how to refuse an offer from a job I want slightly less while one I really want hasn't got back to me yet.
Realise this is an unlikely problem since it's been all rejections so far but does anyone have any advice on this? Is it better to apply to one job at a time or to loads at once, and if the latter how do you avoid getting stuck in the position you didn't want as much if you get lucky and one you wanted more replies a little bit later?
#I'm not the type to walk out during probation unless it's something really bad#I don't think that's right or honest and I'm not sure it's even something I'm morally capable of#I suppose I'm just annoyed that it's been about a month and yet I've only applied to a handful of jobs#Because they all take about a fortnight to get back to you even if they're just rejecting before interview stage#On the other hand I don't know how to deal with the potential bad luck that two would reply positively at once#Or if I was waiting to interview for a post that I wanted a lot more but another job that wasn't as good got back to me first#I realise I'm in a slightly privileged position right now that I don't have to take literally any job that will have me#But the longer I wait around for the good jobs to reject me the more likely it is I will run out of funds#On the other hand I know I get stuck very easily in jobs#I don't know why people say it's easier to hunt for jobs once you've got one; I would never have the energy or time to do that#It took me five years to get out of my last job so I'm trying to bide my time and get something reasonable rather than the first thing#As I know I will get stuck if I pick hastily
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hi i have not been feeling it lately but i need to share the mirror images i had of nithral picking up yaevinn like a wet cat and yaevinn looking like :3 about it and kinkaide picking up vian like a wet cat and vian giving everyone in sight the most withering death glare. i'm talking nat 20 +8 modifier type shit. they are killing you with their laser eyes
to be clear: I don't know if there is a single situation where nithvinn would have this experience. If there is. that's fucking hilarious actually. On the flipside, I think this has already happened to vinkaide and we just don't know it yet.
#the citrus speaks#healing hands#sunsnow#the ttrpg tag(tm)#i don't know why this is so funny to me#also i just need to say#they are both reckless motherfuckers#the difference is that yaevinn isn't particularly stubborn unless it's really important#vian on the other hand will not budge until they have to#which has been to their detriment#multiple times#do you want the list /j#anyway i enjoy comparing yaev and vian a lot actually#they are Very Different
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Something tells me that König did not have a usual childhood not just because of anxiety.
He entered military service with 17, which requires parental permission. Many kids in the german speaking countries still go to school when 17. König's parents being okay with their kid not pursuing education, which is highly socially expected of young people in all german-speaking countries, but instead actively allowing him to join the army, is extremely unusual.
Also, the military does not have the same social standing in Austria or Germany as let's say in the USA. It is not a very common thing people do here - especially minors.
Like, did his parents want him gone? Or did they actually felt like that was the best choice for their son because of circumstances unknown to us? Or did 17-year-old-König convince his parents AND the enlist officer to allow him to join the army somehow, giving an anxiety plagued teen a gun? And what kind of environment would allow that?
#i am fascinated#okay let's say his family really wants their son to go to the army which already would be a red flag here btw bc nazis#who in their right mind would want to have an apparently very anxious teenager yield a gun#also why not send him to cadet school then or the military university#how did he end up essentially a field soldier and not an officer#it does not make sense my knowledge of the real life military and the cod lore do not add up and it grinds my gears#anyway könig sounds like you had a shit childhood and i am holding carefully in my hands like a little cute fluffy animal#unless you are a nazi and that was the reason you joined then sorry no#yeah yeah tell me again COD is an UNPOLITICAL GAME buahaha#könig#cod#könig cod#cod mwii#könig mw2#könig call of duty
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give me more horrorkiller content i say as i proceed to post solely about full mtt/mttpoly. i cant I CANT i cant just SOLELY post about one of the duos...... i cant JUST post about 2/3 of them it upsets me. everything MUST be in a trio of else i merge into my bed and rip my skin off when i try to get up
#it physically upsets me when i make 2/3 mtt content#i literally feel EMPTY like.... THIS IS NOT COMPLETE!!!! THEYRE NOT COMPLETE!!!! I NEED THE THIRD OF THE SET OF THREE DOLLS!!!!!!#maybe its just because i have a tendency to want completed things. royale high back in the day was terrible for me the collector#me at miniso opening blindboxes until i get the very specific 3 that represent the mtt idc how much it costs#i just choked on spit while typing this thats how i know that mtt content without the third is a curse#even if i did make just solely a horrorkiller post id just bring dust up in tags 😭😭😭 it would just end up being mtt poly in the end anyways#horrordust but i physically cant resist the urge to type out killer in tags#the dynamic just doesnt feel complete and im being so fucking serious about this#there is something MISSING from horrordust. horrorkiller. kist. something very wrong missing#the ship hits because its mtt but it doesnt feel SATISFYING without all three#i just cant explain it but there is an inexplicable whole in my soul that cannot be filled unless its with full trio#like just..... theres an aspect to the perfect group that each of the trio satisfies#this is absolutely an old thought but one that will never leave my mind#when youve become so inlove with the mtt that you simply like the concept of three now on its own and cant fathom one or god forbid TWO#3 is my favorite number now..... bc of mtt....... ermmmm...........#orange is my favorite BUT like.... red blue and purple as a group are tied for it in my heart#a lot of my favorite things have shifted because of the mtt#so when you (me) ask me to do anything BUT in threes i ask you......................... do you want me to kill mysel#i pat my dog 3 times on the head to signal im done petting her#ive trained my hands to be able to shuffle between ✌️🤘🤙 on instinct now. its routine#god i make everything about the mtt its not even funny. only true mtt fans have made a song cover singing as them#i demoted myself to number 3 fan in my bio during my little mental break i had a couple days ago#but 3 is still high for the sheer amount of mtt fans that they are so i really dont care..... someone else can have spot 1 and 2 but 3#tricule rant
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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