#unless you consider that cute and fun in which case

[superpussyking]

My autism does make me quirky but not in the cute fun way. It makes me quirky in the not being able to play any other character combo but king boo flamerider roller wheels cloud glider on Mario kart 8 deluxe without feeling an impending sense of dread

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Hot-Hot Rock Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

You know something I love about the Mario series? Its tendency to use reduplication to put emphasis on certain words. You thought your average everyday mountain was tall? Well this is a Tall Tall Mountain. You've never seen docks quite this dire before! And it's not even just adjectives that get in on the fun! Rock Rock Mountain, Ice Ice Outpost, I love that something can be more "rock" or "ice" than something else. Sometimes a word is so nice, you just wanna say it twice twice.

Hot-Hot Rocks are one of the latest additions to this long-running Mario trend, and also one of our latest Cubic Companions! You know, Blocks are very important to the Mario franchise, but how many enemies can you think of that are blocks...? The answer should be a lot. This was a Mod Hooligon Trick and you may or may not have fallen for it. I can't tell unless you tell me, alright?

Hot-Hot Rocks first appear in the level Hot-Hot Hot! (this is an example of a linguistic phenomenon known as "threeduplication"), where they serve as one of the primary obstacles. As long as Hot-Hot Rocks are Not-Hot, you can stand on them like any other platform. But when they start glowing red, you better get out of the kitchen, because Mario and friends can't stand the heat!

Of course, a little water is all it takes to turn Hot-Hot Rocks into Not-Hot Rocks for good, so spray them with Elephant Mario's trunk or a precariously placed pot of water, and they won't be able to hurt you anymore!

Hot-Hot Rocks have a symbiotic relationship with another new enemy called Kerpop, which will probably get its own post someday, likely courtesy of Mod Chikako. These guys act like Goombas most of the time, but when they touch a hot Hot-Hot Rock, they will pop and begin jumping around! How cute! This attention to detail is what makes Super Mario Bros. Wonder truly special.

That's about all there is to Hot-Hot Rocks, but we're not quite done yet, because this post is about to get all philisolophical(sic)! Because as Weird Mario Enemies, an important part of that title-we-love-to-defy-and-love-bringing-up-how-much-we-love-to-defy-it is knowing what an "enemy" is to begin with. And so we must ask ourselves: what is an enemy? What separates an enemy from an obstacle? And is there even a meaningful difference...?

I can't say I can give you an answer. But I can give you a bunch of thought exercises under the cut! You like those, right?

You do like those! Thanks for looking under the cut, I really appreciate it.

So if we want to have a discussion of what counts as an "enemy" in the context of a video game, we should probably have a rough definition of what we think an "enemy" is in the first place. It's tough to look for edge cases of something that doesn't have any edges.

I personally think a good starting definition is along the lines of "a character designed with the intent of hurting the player," or something roughly like that. And now that we have a definition, we can scrutinize the hell out of it!

On the left we have Thwomp. Thwomp is a classic Mario Enemy. The kind you'd see featured on @regularmarioenemies. We invite Thwomp over for dinner every Sunday, and Thwomp always smashes the dinner table because that's just what Thwomp does. On the right we have Karamenbo. Karamenbo does the exact same thing that Thwomp does, but it doesn't have a face! And despite the fact they act the exact same way, this simple design difference leads to most people considering Thwomp an "enemy" and Karamenbo an "obstacle"!

Is the difference between an enemy and an obstacle really something so simple as having a face? And if so...

What do we make of Lava Bubble, another Classic Mario Enemy that only sometimes has a face? Are they only an enemy when they have a face? Or are they allowed to always be enemies in spite of their occasional facelessness? Or alternatively, are they prohibited from being enemies despite their occasional befacedness? I don't know, and my "the fact I am writing for this blog" tells me I should probably be an expert in this field!

And what about Moonsnake? What could easily be dismissed as a simple obstacle like a Spike Bar is revealed by in-game text to be a living creature! Does this allow it to be classified as an enemy instead? Does something become an enemy just because there's text saying it's alive? Do ghosts and robots count as alive? Is a thorny flower an enemy instead of an obstacle, or does the specific choice of the word "creature" make a meaningful distinction here?

What if I told you there's official text calling Karamenbo a type of Thwomp, does that change your perception of it?

And we haven't even started touching on the idea of whether or not enemies need to hurt you. Let me ask you an important question...

Are Hoppos enemies? They can not hurt you. Whenever you touch them, you just bounce off, and sure, you might be bounced into something that can hurt you, but Hoppo is just an animal. Is it really Hoppo's fault? Could Hoppo be charged with manslaughter for bouncing Mario into a bottomless pit? Are bottomless pits a type of enemy?

Flomps, Bomps, these can not hurt you directly, but they can cause you to get hurt! And they're relatives of Thwomp, too! Do these factors matter in defining them as an enemy? Bomps act basically the same as the Push-Blocks from Super Mario Odyssey, and the wiki classifies those as mere platforms!

Is mayonnaise an enemy? I don't even know anymore!

Basically, enemies are a subclass of obstacle but there's not really a meaningful distinction that separates them. Literally the only thing that separates an enemy from an obstacle is the Vibes. Nothing else matters! Sorry! But what does that mean for our blog...?

Absolutely nothing! As I've said multiple times, we stopped caring about that distinction ages ago. We're hardly even a Mario blog anymore! I just wanted to subject you to my ramblings because I've had this in the back of my mind for a while now and well I had to say it somewhere.

And since I subjected you to several paragraphs of ramblings that amount to basically nothing... am I an enemy...?

[kiame-sama]

Which monsters are cool with monogamy? There's some speculation on who's good with sharing their human mate with who. But who's doubling down on smugness and protectiveness if the human says they only want one mate?

Most are content with Monogamy, some will only be able to consider the Human if their associated 'group' is allowed by that group's defacto leader (Lilia, Sebek, and Silver fall under a group and are bound by their loyalty to Malleus to let Malleus be the primary mate, they will not agree to be primary mates to the Human without Malleus involved).

Malleus will 100% double down if the Human wants monogamy. He figured he was the only one good enough for them to be a life-long mate with, may as well full send it. He is somewhat sad Lilia was not also chosen as Lilia desperately wants the Human, but he will agree to monogamy for the Human.

Leona will absolutely keep the monogamy vibes for his little Mousey. How cute the Mousey wants him all to themselves. He thinks it is precious and will give that Mousey what they want. He has been second place for a lot of his life, it works wonders for is already large ego to be in first place for once.

Ace already knew he was going to win, I mean, he was your first first-year friend, after all. He loves that he gets to have you all to himself. No sharing with that block-head Deuce.

Deuce is honored you have selected him as your one and only mate, he will happily do the same for you. Don't worry, he is ready to fight off anyone who disagrees (he will lose terribly in most cases, but he will still try and that's what matters!)

Riddle is already on the primarily monogamous route and has zero issue being the Human's one and only. He will be proud as hell about it and boast that his 'King of Hearts' only wants him.

Jack likes the idea of monogamy because he is naturally territorial and likes knowing his territory (the Human) is just as territorial of him as he is of them. Happy pupper wants his mate to be happy.

Azul will happily be the Human's one and only anday even feel the need to tease Jade and Floyd about the Human choosing only him. He will lord it over others and will boast he is the only one they chose.

Papa Hades is already fairly monogamous so if the Human goes the romantic route and not platonic route with him, he will maintain his monogamous ways.

Jade is thrilled with the idea of not having to share with Azul or his Twin, the Human being his one and only, the one only he gets to embrace and hold, he loves it. Craves it.

Floyd is so happy you saw reason, Shrimpy! After all, he only shares with his brother because he has to most times. Don't worry! He can protect and squeeze you well enough all on his own. After all, this is just another reason to challenge himself at something, and the Human is a very fun prize!

Ruggie has been bullied out of almost everything in life other than his home. He is huge by Human standards, but a runt by Gnoll standards, how lovely it would be to be the one and only for the most precious prize ever?

Rook is not sure he deserves this. He is by no means as extraordinary as Vil or as beautiful as Neige, why would the Human choose him? They have so many options, he is fine sharing, honestly! He is unsure he can accept being their one and only. Of course, he also selfishly craves being the only one who gets to know that Human intimately and it gives a wicked sense of unbridled pride from the idea.

Vil is alright with monogamy, to be first place and not have to share it with anyone is truly magnificent. He won't stop Rook from trying unless the Human asks for his help in the matter, but he won't encourage Rook either if the Human truly wants him to be as monogamous.

Idia is just tickled pink about it all. No one to bully him out of his mate? No one to try and put him down for being less confrontational and extroverted? Heaven. He LOVES THIS. Him, Idia, the one no one gave the time of day to, the one no one expected to pull the rarest SSR card with max charisma stats. He who has negative luck and negative charisma stats. Unsuspecting Idia won the Human all to himself and he couldn't be happier about it.

Trey is honestly pleased and thinks it is for the best, he can get more than a little possesive about this precious Human. He would love being the only one that gets the Human to love and hold. He promises to look at no other and expects the same in return. Though he could share, he doesn't want to.

Cater is not sure if he deserves the Human after everything he has done. He isn't sure he should even be allowed around the Human after his actions. If you are certain he is the one you want, he won't argue.

[somewhat-insane]

could I possibly request headcanons for a shadowpeach × gn!reader poly. except reader and wukong are more queer platonic, fused at the hip besties.

im simply delusional and starving 😔 🧡💜❤️

Uh, ABSOLUTELY!!!! Seeing this request genuinely made me so happy you have no idea-

⫘⫘⫘ShadowPeach x GN!Reader (QPR Wukong & Reader)⫘⫘⫘

!!Warnings!!: Implication that reader has kicked the monkey boys in the nuts before, other than that it's mostly just cute sillies

I imagine the start of the relationship definitely wasn't smooth sailing. (But that's not surprising considering they're both experts in rocking the boat.)

Neither or them are the sit down and talk kind of people so you'll probably have to be pretty flexible at first since they're both so used to not defining their own relationship.

Luckily, Macaque is knowledgeable enough to communicate "I'm going to date you, and you don't have to date Wukong too, but he is coming along with us whether you like it or not" (and yes, since Macaque fears rejection, he did not ask you to date him, he demanded it.)

Macaque can definitely be suave and romantic when he wants to be, but don't worry, Wukong will be there to interrupt any romantic tension by throwing peach chips at both of you and going "corny, lame, boo, tomatoes, tomatoes" (and then will promptly demand you buy him more peach chips to replace the ones he threw at you.)

On occasion, Macaque will interrupt the tension himself by being a dork.

You and Wukong will playfully fight over Macaque because it gets him all flustered

Wukong had the idea of doing board game nights but that ended... painfully. For them, not for you.

Totally unrelated, Wukong has dubbed you the "Nutcracker".

Don't wanna talk to someone anymore? Take out a Yu-Gi-Oh card and banish them to the shadow realm. Macaque can take care of the rest. (You can also use this on Wukong. Usually not Macaque himself unless he's in a fun mood in which case he will dramatically fall into one of his own portals.)

You are all insanely protective of each other. (They're definitely more protective of you because of your fragile mortal body, but kicking someone's ass to protect them is a surefire way to make sure their attention is solely on you for the rest of the night.)

Wukong won't stop trying to get you to eat an immortal peach. Luckily, he hasn't stooped low enough to try sneaking immortal peaches into your meals... Yet.

Good luck in the summer, Wukong's a cuddler and not only is he covered in fur, but he also radiates an insane amount of heat. Luckily, Macaque's (super?)natural chill evens it out a bit, but that's only if you can convince him to join the cuddle pile.

Playing a dating sim together for fun and all of you arguing over which character is the hottest. (Careful, Macaque is prone to jealousy. A few kisses should cheer him right up though.)

Macaque is best as showing love through words but physical affection is the quickest way to get him flustered. He'll need his space sometimes though, so be wary of that.

You all have crap sleep schedules

It's hard to cuddle with them sometimes because they both choose the most uncomfortable places to sleep

It's tough when Macaque and Wukong are fighting because they'll both want you to side with them but in reality they're both usually in the wrong

Wukong gets nervous when you and Macaque are fighting because he doesn't want to have to choose between the two of you if you have a big falling out: "... You're going to forgive him, right?" "eventually, yeah." "and you're not going to leave him?" "I'm not going to leave him, Wukong." "... Promise?" "I promise."

When you and Wukong are fighting, Macaque is usually very blunt in what he believes. (Which is usually, "you're both idiots")

They usually have their tails wrapped around a random part of your body. (Wukong does it subconsciously; Macaque is always very conscious when making physical contact.)

You and Wukong hype each other up to go on dates with Macaque; Macaque makes fun of you for it

Wukong likes to tug on your hair and sleeves and stuff; likes to fall asleep while playing with your hair

~

I REALLY liked this request, I hope I did a good job in answering it!

[malusmagpie]

Driven To You

Pairing: AU!CarGuy!AnakinxReader

Summary: Y/N has a small crush (obsession) with a car guy in her class and is so wrapped up in avoiding him, she doesn’t realize she might have actually caught his eye.

Directly inspired by the photos of Hayden driving/being around cars bc mmmmmmm delicious.

A/N: IM BACK BABY. SORRY FOR BEING GONE SO LONG I LOVE YALL. ENJOY! P.s. THE TITLE IS CHEESY AND THE WRITING IS EVEN CHEESIER. SORRY IM FEELING ROMANTICAL. This is a slow burn and i intend to do more parts!!!

Word Count: 6.9k

There was a sense of dread that always came over you upon waking up. You’d immediately think of all the things you had to achieve in the day. The thought alone would make your sheets feel all the more inviting whilst making fibres of the carpeted floor in your bedroom look like searing hot needles. This morning though, as you poured the boiling water from the kettle into the cheap insulated mug your college had given you as an acceptance gift, you smiled to yourself. Your roommates were still asleep. You had chosen your courses too late to be picky about what time slot you’d be scheduled with, and the quiet in your little apartment made plenty of room for you to listen to the music you had blasting through your headphones. You stirred your coffee and placed the lid on the tumbler before picking up your bag and keys. You slipped on the shoes you’d meticulously picked the night before and headed out the door, making sure to lock it twice. The dodgy door had a lock that wouldn’t properly latch unless you pulled it whilst locking it — but it worked, is what your landlord had told you and your roommates.

You stared down at your outfit while you walked. When you applied for a fashion degree, you hadn’t quite had the forethought to realize you not only needed to be good at what you did, you had to look like it too. It wasn’t a school mandated rule but it was some sort of unspoken requirement amongst your peers. You’d never been good at making friends and the treatment you had been getting from dressing comfortably during your first semester wasn’t helping your case. Now, dressing well was all you ever did. Leaving the house in clothes that weren’t carefully picked made you almost uncomfortable, even just going to the convenience store on the corner was a mission. You decided to stop hyper-fixating on whether or not the pattern on your skirt was vintage in a cute way or vintage in a grandma way because either way, it would be considered better than leggings and a big sweater.

“If it gauges a reaction, it’s fashion.” Is what your professor always told you. You were careful to only step on the tiles of the sidewalks, never the seams, and you always waited a second after the crosswalk signal went from red to white, just incase some insane city driver forgot what a red light meant. You’d narrowly avoided cars a handful of times during your walks to campus and learned it’s better to be patient.

As you walked you wondered if you’d see him today, the blond boy with the loud car and even louder friends. He was the reason Wednesdays were less daunting to you. It was the one day a week you had a class with him. He seemed kind and quiet which was a vast contrast when you looked at who and what he surrounded himself with. He had an odd name too. You only knew that because you both took the same boring and useless elective course. You didn’t shake away the thoughts, the feeling of a crush always made you excited. Making up stories about them in your head and fantasizing about how they liked their tea was all good fun to you, especially when you knew you’d never speak to the person.

You felt around the outside of your bag on your side until you felt the spirals on your hard covered sketch pad and let out a small sigh when you were reassured that you brought it with you. Your head whipped around at the sound of a loud exhaust coming your way and you smiled to yourself while thinking about how you were psychic and manifesting him, completely ignoring the fact that he was in the class you were making your way to. The yellow car came into view and you prayed it would make it past the yellow light ahead of you. The car was fast enough to do so but you’d never seen him drive fast before. That was another interesting thing to you. A car guy who doesn’t drive like an asshole was almost unheard of.

Your eyes flickered over to the now red light as you saw the car slow down right in front of where you were to cross the street to access the campus. You almost debated walking to the next cross walk and doubling back to avoid walking in front of him. You looked at the time on the giant clock on the front of the campus building and sighed. You couldn’t be late during mid term season. You waited a second when the crosswalk signal switched from a red hand to a walking figure. Your eyes, hidden under sunglasses, watched him in his car. His arm was rested on the door panel and he was biting his thumb nail, looking ahead of the wheel with his other hand lazily draped over it. He either hadn’t seen you yet, or he didn’t care to look at you. Both options seemed to relieve you as you walked. You shook your head to hide your face with your hair and pretended to text somebody on your phone, in reality you were simply typing gibberish into your notes app. You were sure he had seen you for the small duration that you’d walked in front of your car and the thought made you speed up your strides.

As you walked across the grass and towards the door you heard his car drive in to your left and park where he always parked. You smiled to yourself, thinking of the mild annoyance he must have faced when he saw a rusted Prius parked in his spot just a few days ago. It was perfect for you though, from where he was forced to park you could finally see the front view of his car perfectly through the window you always sat at and it made for a decent addition to your sketchbook. You blushed to yourself when you realized just how many sketches you had of his car. You didn’t even like cars, in fact you had sneakily walked behind his car in the parking lot once just to see which model it even was. You just liked him but drawing him seemed far too delusional, even for your liking. Besides, you were never good at drawing faces anyways.

You pushed the large door to the lecture hall and it swung open with ease. You greeted your professor who was nose deep in her kindle at her desk, she barely even muttered a response back. You smiled to yourself when you realized you were the only other person there. It was a smaller class but this gave you time to sit and sketch an outline of your muse, to be completed later. You settled down in your usual spot and snapped a quick photo to reference later before opening your sketchbook. You flipped to the back of the book where your secret drawings were. Not very well kept but nobody was looking through your notebook anyways.

Your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you saw a figure move outside the window. You watched through your peripherals as Anakin slid out of his car and closed the door. He adjusted his pants, which looked about four sizes too big, and locked the car before walking out of view toward the building. You squeezed your eyes in embarrassment and placed your pencil within the spirals, shutting your book slowly. You’d been so eager to draw the stupid car you didn’t check to see if he’d left it yet. You hoped to whoever was listening, whatever greater force there was, that he didn’t see you taking a photo.

You sat there in silence, staring at the wall and jumped when the door opened even though you were entirely aware he would walk in at any moment. You didn’t look at him. You placed your fist under your chin and stared down at your cellphone as he walked to his normal spot. Four rows to your left and two rows back. He sat right in the middle of the back of the class. You wondered what kind of person that made him. Clearly he wanted to be seen by the teacher, but maybe he sat at the back because he wasn’t eager to participate.

You milled the theories over in your head as other students began to file in. You noticed Anakin had come in alone. He usually had his friend with him but today, his friend came in late. He chucked a wrapper of some sort at Anakin and sat next to him. Anakins soft laugh made your heart do a flip and you leaned further into your hand. His voice was deep and it carried quite far even though he was speaking softly to his friend who made no effort to use his inside voice. You didn’t even notice the time fly by as you gazed at the chalkboard behind your professor, watching as the words she wrote turned into jumbled letters from staring for too long.

The bustling of people around you getting up to leave caught your attention and you began to pack up your things with haste. You picked up your bag and pulled it over your shoulder, taking care not to trip down the narrow and steep stairs of the lecture hall. You noticed Anakin and his friend sitting at their seats. They were deep in conversation as they moved at a snails pace to pack up their things. You, on the other hand, were itching to go home to watch whatever dumb show your roommate had on and eat.

The sun was bright when you pushed open the door that led you to the parking lot, causing your eyes to squint. You pulled your sunglasses off their perch on your head and placed them snug on your nose before you heard the door swing open behind you. Your head just barely turned but the sound of a man’s voice calling your name made you swivel on your heels.

“Hey, Y/N.” Anakin said as he approached you. His keys that hung from his front belt loop jingled with each step he took and you looked at him dumbfounded. The class was small but to know your name, that took a little bit of effort surely. “You forgot your charger. At least I think it’s yours. You’re the only one who sits by where it was.” He held out a small white block attached to a matching white cord. You held your hand out with an appreciative smile and he dropped the charger in your palms.

“Yeah it’s mine. Thank you.” You spoke as you shoved the cord into your over stuffed bag. His head moved in a nodding motion.

“No problem.” He said curtly. Your eyes trailed him over for a second before you decided that was likely the end of the interaction and you began to turn.

“Do you like cars?” He asked. You began to panic as you thought of the embarrassing photo you’d taken earlier. You desperately clambered your brain for an answer.

“Not really. Why?” You realized your words seemed a bit harsher than intended and you threw in a polite smile to soften the blow.

“Oh no reason.” He shrugged. You weren’t sure if you were just trying to relax yourself or if he truly hadn’t watched you snap a photo from the large, untinted window of the lecture hall. “There’s a car meet tonight. Just wanted to know if you’d be interested.” He finished and you looked at him. You tried to understand exactly what was going on and why it was going on but your brain left you with no answers.

“No that sounds fun.” You answered before you could think but his eyes lit up ever so slightly and your heart pounded a little louder than usual.

“Oh cool. It’s kind of like a super hushed thing though, a lot of these cars are technically not allowed to be on the roads.” He started and you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, shifting your weight. “You’ll see what I mean. I can pick you up or did you want to meet there?” He leaned against the wall behind him.

“Pick me up. 42 Queen, apartment 215.” You smiled. “I’m not gonna get arrested right?” You asked and it pulled a laugh from Anakin. He shook his head and you revelled in the way his hair flopped over his head.

“Not on my watch.” He said through a straight teethed smile. “42 Queen. 215. Got it. I’ll be there at around nine.”

You looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Nine? My bed time is ten. I have class in the morning.” You said only partially joking. Anakin rolled his eyes, a disbelieving smile on his face.

“Car meets like this don’t happen before sundown.” He crossed his arms over his chest and you sighed dramatically. Despite your internal panic you kept your composure quite well. For that you commended yourself.

“Fine. I’m doing this for the promise of fun. So I better have fun.” You stated as you began to step back from him. He smiled at you, a knowing smile that signalled that you wouldn’t be disappointed. You took your leave, bidding him goodbye with a nod before walking as fast as you could to your apartment. He watched you scurry away with his hands shoved in his pockets before pushing himself off the wall and heading to his car.

When you got home you went straight to your room and sent your roommate a text, briefing her on the news of today. An excited smile was seemingly permanently plastered on your face. You laid your things on your bed and grabbed your sketchbook before making your way to your small desk. You heard a knock on your bedroom door as you began to sketch away at the drawing of the car, this time it included Anakin sitting inside. The photo you took captured it perfectly. You mumbled for whoever was at the door to come in. Your roommate Jean cracked your door open.

“Busy?” She asked as she entered the room fully, closing the door behind her. You pulled your headphones off one ear and turned to her with a shrug.

“Just drawing.” You muttered as she walked over and looked over your shoulder at the sketch. She knew about Anakin, all three of your roommates did, but she knew about absolutely everything. The drawings included.

“God, you’re insane.” She said jokingly with her eyes peering over your shoulder and you threw your pencil at her. She laughed and picked it up off the floor before placing it on your desk. She leaned against the surface and crossed her arms. “I’m really happy for you, Y/N/N.” She smiled down at you and you wrapped your arms around her waist with a smile. She uncrossed her arms to run her hands through your hair gently.

“Thanks, Bean.” You fondly used the name Bean for her, she wouldn’t dare let anybody else call her that. her boyfriend tried it once and she shot him a death glare so intense he apologized profusely. She was a bit intimidating. Tall, black dyed hair, piercings and tattoos. The whole nine yards. You pulled away from the embrace. Her hands held your hair as you retreated and dropped it gently before returning to their crossed position over her chest.

“Your hairs getting so long.” She was in school for cosmetology and was usually the only reason you looked presentable. You looked down at your hair and nodded.

“I guess it is.” You sighed. You knew she could tell that there was something on your mind and you sighed again. Her blue eyes felt as though they had pierced into your soul and you looked up at her.

“So a date… You never mentioned how it happened.” She sat down on the floor beside your chair. Her arms crossed over your knees as you turned to face her and she rested her chin on her folded limbs, eyes staring up into yours in excitement.

“Not a date. He never explicitly said that. That being said, I left my charger in class so he came and gave it to me and we just talked for a minute.” You smiled and she laughed in disbelief.

“So you didn’t talk to him first. What are the chances? Maybe God does exist.” She mused and you rolled your eyes, your hand reached for a pen on your desk and you clicked it before beginning to colour in one of her tattoos.

———

The hours went by slowly, probably because you were watching the clock every chance you got. You had already changed, and then changed back into what you had on before as not to look like you were trying too hard. You’d redone your makeup and fixed your hair. You brushed your teeth and ate. You even finished an assignment and it hadn’t even struck 7pm yet. You groaned as you walked out of your room. Your roommate was sitting on the couch in front of the television, her eyes flicked over to you with a smirk upon her features.

“Antsy?” She questioned you and you pouted as you approached the fridge, looking for a snack to pass the time.

“Only a little.” You rolled your eyes as you sat the the kitchen bench with a banana. Her hand raised with the remote as she switched from Netflix to Spotify. You watched as she put on a playlist before coming to where you were sat in the kitchen. She reached under the counter into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of cheap champagne. The sight made you nauseous. Last time you’d seen that type of bottle you were face down in a toilet by midnight. “No.” You started and she laughed.

“Just a few. You’re wound up too tight right now. One or two drinks over the next two hours won’t kill you.” She smiled, waving the bottle in your face and you groaned again. With a hesitant hand you reached out and grabbed the large glass bottle from her. She turned around and opening the fridge with an excited squeal as she grabbed the orange juice. “Mimosas make everything better.” She smiled.

You took the liberty of grabbing two of the delicate glasses she bought for these kind of drinks and placing them on the counter. Jean was a bartender at a fancy golf course so she always had the means to make a good drink at her disposal. It almost worried you sometimes.

“Mimosas feel like a brunch thing.” You mumbled as she poured the glasses 3/4 of the way with champagne and topped them off with what seemed like two drops of orange juice. She smiled, her head tilted as she looked at you.

“Mimosas deserve to be enjoyed all day, any day.” She slid the glass to you carefully and held her own in the air. “To Anakin, I guess.” She said with a shrug and you raised your own glass, clinking it gently with her own before downing half the drink. It was cold and refreshing, and surprisingly, if you hadn’t known it had alcohol in it you never would have noticed.

She was right, the next two hours were spent talking about Anakin. You showed her his instagram where he had no pictures of his actual face. She theorized on how he likely had a crush on you, and you brushed it off. It wasn’t long before you found yourself at the bottom of your second drink and heard a knock at the front door. Your eyes widened as you stared at her and she laughed.

“Go open it before he leaves.” She whispered and you scrambled off the couch and walked over to the door. You unbolted the locks and cracked the door open.

You saw his tall frame stood in front of you, hands shoved in his pockets as per usual. You smiled and opened the door fully.

“Hi.” He said with a soft smile. His eyes moved around your apartment and landed on the bottle of Prosecco and orange juice on the counter. “Pregaming I see?” He asked, his eyebrow raised ever so slightly.

You heard your roommate speak from behind you and you could have jumped out of your skin. She was always such a quiet walker.

“Just a little. I’m Jean.” She stuck her hand out and you watched as Anakin shook it.

“Anakin.” He responded.

“Have her home by one.” She smiled as you slipped on your shoes. You rolled your eyes and looked behind you, shooting daggers at her and she shrugged. “Keep your location on.” She said and you groaned in response.

“Okay. I love you.” You mumbled and she responded with the same words back before you ushered Anakin out of your apartment. You heard the door lock behind you and you sighed. “Sorry she’s just like that. All the time.” You laughed gently and he smiled.

“No she seems cool.” He nodded. The two of you walked down the corridor and into the elevator silently before you piped up.

“So what exactly is a car meet?” You asked, your head turned up toward the boy who stood tall next to you.

“It’s when people with cool cars meet up.” He said, he looked down at you with a smile and an embarrassed blush rose to your cheeks. Seemed clear enough.

“Right. Just making sure.” You nodded and he smiled as the doors of the elevator opened. You followed him out as he led you to where he’d parked. You felt a sense of anxiety surrounding the situation, a new place with a new person made you feel a little uneasy.

When his car came into view you felt your heartbeat quicken and when he opened the door for you, you could have sworn you felt faint.

Anakin leaned on the door panel as you got in before shutting it once he saw you were completely settled. He walked around to the front of the car and sat in the drivers seat as you looked around the vehicle you’d only ever seen from the outside. It felt surreal. The small amount of alcohol in your system was nice but it wasn’t helping much as you watched him settle in the seat and turn the key in the ignition.

His hand pushed at the shifter and the car began to move. “I might have to drive a little faster. Turns out it started at 9 so we’re technically late.” He mumbled as he drove out of the parking lot. You stared out the windshield.

“As long as you don’t kill us.” You smiled and you heard his laugh in return.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He chuckled again as he turned onto the road. He began to speed up and your feet pushed against the floor mat to steady yourself. The roads were mostly clear which was good, you weren’t in the mood to swerve through traffic today. The car was loud over the music playing in his car and your eyes scanned over the radio to see what the song was called. You’d never heard of the artist but it was definitely something you’d listen to. You made a mental note to save the song to your phone as he drove quickly and carefully at the same time. It surprised you how effortless it looked and felt.

“Who taught you how to drive?” You asked when he came to a red light and he placed his hand on the shifting knob, wiggling it left to right as he waited for the light to change.

“I did. My dad owned a shop and would let me drive the cars to and from the lot. When i learned the basics I would take the cars out at night.” He smiled fondly at the memory, causing a smile of your own to creep onto your lips.

“That seems nice.” You responded. “I never learned.” He looked at you for a moment as he sped down the brightly lit streets of the city.

“I could teach you.” He shrugged and you looked at him for the first time since being in the car with him.

“I couldn’t ask that of you.” You shook your head and he shook his right back at you.

“No it would be my pleasure. I like doing this. I’d love to teach somebody else how to do it.” As he spoke, a car head began to take a left turn before he was able to make a right turn and he laid his hand on the horn for a second and the other car stopped to let him go. “I’d love to teach you so I could know you were aware of who has the right of way when making a left. Jesus they just give licenses out to anybody these days.” You laughed gently at his passive comment to the other driver. “I swear I only encounter scary drivers when I have somebody else in the car.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

“Maybe you’re the bad driver.” You said jokingly and he smiled, his eyes shined under the street lamps.

“Yeah, maybe.” He mused as he pulled into a parking lot. It was full of cars and you could hear bass heavy music playing in the distance. He parked his car next to the rest of them and you watched as people glanced over, taking notice of the new vehicle in the parking lot.

“See? It’s literally a meet up for cars.” He said with a grunt as he pulled his emergency break up as high as it could go before turning the car off. The two of you exited the vehicle and he locked it before walking over to your side.

“I see that.” You responded and he smiled sheepishly.

“It’s kinda lame. Just didn’t wanna come alone and you seem nice enough to fall for it.” He said, a joking tone laced his voice. You let out an exaggerated breath and shook your head.

“You were right to think so.” You looked around at the cars around you. There was no more than 50 but you’d never seen this many people and cars in one spot.

He spent the night showing you around, explaining what cars he liked, asking you which ones you liked, and stopping to say hi to people briefly. About an hour in you began to understand why this could be fun, people were doing drifts and burnouts in the empty side of the parking lot and truth be told it was interesting to watch, especially when you knew you could never do that. It seemed he was well known in the community, that would explain why people stared as he drove in.

“Do you still race?” Anakin was talking to yet another guy who was standing by his own car. Anakin shook his head.

“Not since I got that ticket.” He responded. The guy laughed.

“You’re better than the rest of us. I think I have three tickets now.” He chuckled and Anakin rolled his eyes.

“If I was living in my moms basement with a job at the pizza shop I’d have three tickets too, man.” He laughed and the other guy laughed in unison. Anakin pushed his fist against the other ones and began to walk away. You chuckled and he looked down at you. “What’s funny?” He asked curiously.

“Nothing. I would have taken what you said personally but he just brushed it off like it was nothing.” You smiled and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Didn’t you recognize him? He’s my buddy from the class we’re in together.” He said with a smirk and your eyes widened.

“Oh my god, it was. I didn’t even notice. I should have said hello.” You groaned and he laughed again.

“Now you’re the rude one.” He said with a tilt of his head and you sighed.

“I guess I am.” You responded. You walked next to him, glancing over at cars. You learned you had an affinity for Miata’s. Almost ever car you liked tonight had been a Miata. “You raced?” You asked.

“Yeah. It was fun. I’m gonna do it again soon, just wanted to lay low after I got booked.” He shrugged, his hands found their way into his pockets again. You nodded. You always had an idea of him, and he was proving those ideas to be wrong. You couldn’t help but like the truth of the matter just a little better than the fantasy version of him you had made up.

“Damn, Marty’s here.” He grinned as he pointed to a hot dog stand in the distance. “Honest to God he makes the best hotdogs you’ll ever have. Let me get you one. Have you eaten?” He asked excitedly and even though you had, you couldn’t help but enable his excitement.

“I could eat.” You smiled and he beamed, making a bee line for the hotdog stand.

“Good ‘cause I’m starving.” He called over his shoulder and you sped up to keep up with him. A laugh escaped you as you noticed how fast he was walking.

“Slow down.” You laughed as you reached for his arm. You caught him and grabbed him gently to pull him back. He stopped to let you catch up and looked down at you.

“Maybe you should speed up.” He looked down at you while your hand gripped his arm. Your stomach did a flip as you stopped in your tracks, looking up at his eyes. You’d never noticed how blue they were. The two of you stood silently, looking at each other, before you heard the sound of his stomach grumbling. Your laughter wasn’t easily contained when he looked down at his stomach.

“Yeah let’s get you your hotdog.” You smiled, he chuckled and let his arm drop down just far enough where it grazed your hand and your entire arm erupted in goosebumps. Your hand instinctively went to grab his hand. Your fingers twitching to hold his hand made his hand stop and slowly intertwine with yours. You never broke the eye contact and you felt as if you could hear him speak through just the emotion in his eyes. You had to breathe manually when he started walking toward the hotdog stand again.

He ordered two, one for both of you and pulled out his wallet to hand Marty a bill. He had to let go of your hand to do so but the warmth in your heart bloomed when he went to hold it again as soon as he put his wallet back in his pocket. A small blush rose to your cheeks. He told the man to keep the change and handed you one of the hotdogs. The two of you took turns using the condiments on the side of the cart before sitting down on a curb right next to it.

“How is it?” He asked, his mouth half full. You smiled as you finished chewing.

“Really good. Haven’t had a hot dog in forever.” You smiled and he nodded, humming in agreement. You noticed people begin to leave and you pulled your phone from your bag and noticed it had only been two hours. “It’s not even that late yet.” You said and he looked around. You followed his gaze to red and blue lights flashing in the distance and he stood up.

“Time to go.” He mumbled as he threw the last bit of his food away and you followed him, throwing yours away as well. Your chest began to fill with a small sense of anxiety, you’d never dealt with the cops before. You’d been relatively well behaved your entire life so situations like this were alien to you.

He walked calmly toward his car and you stuck to his heel. As you approached the yellow vehicle he pulled his keys off his belt loop and unlocked your side, opening the door and allowing you to enter fully before shutting it and walking over to his own side.

When he got in the car he placed the key in the ignition and glanced over at you. “We haven’t done anything. My car, while extremely modified, is almost perfectly legal.” He smiled assuringly and you nodded before realizing he said almost.

“Almost?” You asked and he shrugged as he began to push the car into gear.

“Yeah. Almost. Nothing big. If I get out of here now they won’t bother ticketing me.” He mumbled as he checked his surroundings before finding a gap between the other cars that were leaving.

You held onto the door panel tightly as he drove, anxiety bubbling up more every second. You were always prone to freaking out. He took a right from the parking lot and began to drive with the other cars around him. They were definitely all doing speeds that would get them in trouble on the small backstreet. You looked at him again and he glanced into his rear view.

“See? It was only one cop car and now it’s stuck in the parking lot.” You turned your body to glance out the back windshield and slumped back into your seat with a huff, followed by a small laugh.

“I was really freaking out for a minute.” You mumbled causing Anakin to let out a short belly laugh.

“Yeah. You should see how it feels to be booked during a race. That’ll get your blood pumping.” He had a tone in his way of speaking that made you think that one day you might experience exactly what he was talking about. His words almost distracted you from his fast driving.

As he turned down your neighbourhood he slowed down. There was no more cars with you guys and he seemed to relax in his seat.

“Sorry for that.” He started. “And for cutting the night short.” He smiled apologetically, only letting his eyes leave the road for a moment to flash it at you.

“Oh it’s fine.” You mused. “It was kinda fun.” You smiled back at him and your grip on his door loosened. You watched as he pulled into the small crescent driveway of your apartment building and parked the car. “I’d like to do that again, and maybe watch you race one day.” You finished as you collected your purse from its spot at your feet.

“I’d like that too, only if you’re being serious. I can’t tell with you.” He smiled and you rolled your eyes.

“I am.” You insisted as you plopped the purse in your lap and looked at him. “I see you drive every Wednesday. I’ve never seen you drive like that before, though.” You mentioned and it raised a hum from him.

“I only do it when I need to. Sometimes when I want to. Driving to school doesn’t exactly ignite my excitement.” He shrugged and you sent him a playful look.

“What warrants your excitement then?” You asked, leaning your elbow on his centre console and placing your chin in your palm.

“Ah the usual, cars, racing, pretty girls in grandma skirts.” He shrugged and your mouth dropped, a mix of a gasp and laugh flew out of you as you rolled your eyes and lifted your head.

“I like my grandma skirt.” You mused. His compliment settled in your stomach, making it so somersaults.

“I didn’t say I don’t.” His voice was quiet as he looked at you and a blush rose to your cheeks. His hand reached out to brush against yours and you let him grab it.

He brushed his thumb along the back of your hand as the two of you sat in a silent tension. The air in the car seemed thick during the silent conversation you had with your eyes. He cleared his throat, averted his gaze and dropping your hand before pulling his keys out of the car.

“I’ll walk you in, it’s late.” He mumbled as he reached across you and pushed your door open. You couldn’t help but feel mildly disconcerted at his reaction. He seemed so confident in his ability to flirt with you. You couldn’t pin point why he didn’t kiss you, it was one of the most obvious opportunities you’d ever seen. Regardless, you stepped out of his car.

“Sure.” You called behind you as you shut the door. He met you at the front end of the vehicle after locking it and walked next to you. The automatic doors of the building opened and you led him to the elevators. His hands were in their usual place, deep in his pockets as you pressed the button. You looked at him from your peripherals, agonizing over the suddenly awkward tension that filled the air between you two.

As you waited in the elevator you sighed. He looked at you, you pretended you didn’t notice, and the doors opened. The small hallway revealed itself through the elevator doors and you stepped out before him. He was hot on your tail when you finally approached the door and pulled out your keys.

“Can I get your number?” He asked from behind you and you froze, your key only inches away from the lock. You turned to him and nodded, stating off your number. You watched as he typed it in and turned his phone to you, you smiled when you saw your contact name had a grandma emoji next to it and nodded, confirming that he put the number in correctly. Your feelings were in a constant state of fluctuation. You couldn’t pin point whether he didn’t like you, or if he was just an awkward individual. Surely, somebody who looks like Anakin could never be so socially inept. Stranger things have happened, though.

He placed his phone in his pocket before letting his eyes fall on you again, your heartbeat raced as you waited for him to say something. Your eyes searched his desperate to find a hint of what he was thinking but you couldn’t pin point anything.

“Thank you.” He whispered. “For coming with me. It was really nice.” He continued and you nodded your head again. It seemed that was all you could do. You tried to push out some words.

“Me too.” You said and furrowed your eyebrows in embarrassment. “I mean. Sorry. I meant to say no problem. It really was fun.” You scrambled for words to avoid looking like an idiot. He smiled, his hand reached up and rested on your cheek. Your breath stopped for a moment as he used his hand to raise your face toward his. His lips brushed softly against yours and your eyes fluttered shut.

It was over before you even got to understand what happened and he dropped his hand gently, stepping back. He placed his hands back in his pocket as your eyes opened again. You could have died right then and you’d die happy.

“Sorry. Should I have asked before I did that? I feel like I should have asked.” It was his turn to ramble and you laughed gently, shaking your head.

“No it’s okay. I was waiting for you to grow a pair and do that.” You smiled as you turned around to unlock your door.

“Well good thing I grew a pair, huh?” He asked and you turned to him as you opened the door to your dark apartment. Your roommate was likely passed out after finishing the rest of the bottle.

“A great thing, really.” You whispered and he shot you a smile.

“Well, get some rest. I’ll shoot you a text later.” He whispered back as he began to back himself down the hallway again. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled.

“Goodnight, Anakin.” You responded before you stepped into your apartment and locked the door behind you. You hadn’t even gotten your shoes off before your phone buzzed in your purse.

“Hi. It’s later. Wanna do this again soon?” The text from an unknown number read. You laughed quietly to yourself as you typed in a quick response.

“Yeah but you’re gonna have to pick me up until I get a license.” You responded.

“I have 0 issue with that. Besides. I told you I’d teach you how to drive. :)” You laughed at the text as you entered your room for the night.

“Deal. Goodnight. Drive safe.” You responded, your tired body and mind didn’t even let you change or wash your face as you laid in bed. Your eyes fell shut as you heard another vibration come through on your phone but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at it. You told yourself you’d take a look in the morning, but the longer you went without seeing the text, the more antsy you got.

“I’m gonna have to. Gotta take a pretty girl on another date soon. Goodnight.” The text sat in front of your eyes and you let out an excited squeal before tossing your phone on the bed. You cuddled into your sheets and let yourself fall asleep, only hoping to dream of him just so you could see him again.

[talenlee]

Finding Pokemon That Wear Pants

Pokemon are lil guys. They are in many cases, just lil guys. But there are some Pokemon that exist further on the continuum of ‘a weird lil guy’ than other Pokemon. I’ve said in the past that if you found out your server at a fast food store was a Lucario, your reaction wouldn’t be ‘oh gross there’s an animal back there’ but ‘oh hi there lil guy.’

One of the traits of a lil guy versus an animal, though, is that lil guys do things in human ways – tool use, language, cultural practice, but most importantly of course, is wearing pants. Pants are how you represent a character as having some engagement with a greater society at large, which is pretty weird when you consider the nature of pants being gendered. Yes, it is a way in which we accept the Pokemon as being individuals in society, in that they buy into a gendered form of clothing. Wait, where was I?

Clothes! Clothes clothes clothes, fashion, style, these are important things for the identity of Pokemon. After all, Meowth engages in fashion, you Philistine, and Team Rocket’s Meowth is very high on the Lil Guy O Meter. If we assume a Pokemon needs to wear pants to ascend up into Lil Guy Status, then there’s surely a list of ways to investigate that, thanks to the Bulbapedia page of Costumed Pokemon.

(By this metric, Donald Duck isn’t a lil guy.)

Some Pokemon wear ‘stuff’ as part of their normal look. Particularly, Machoke wears a belt and what looks like booty shorts, which is fun because Machoke and Machamp have no gender dimorphism, which suggests that this beast has enough of a sense of modesty to not want something on their crotch exposed, but for all of the Maches, it’s tits out. Similarly, Mandibuzz has a bone in its … hair? Which is either a really weird thing for it to grow naturally or it’s an expression of some kind of aesthetic. Cubone and Marowak wear a skull, according to their pokedex entries (but the skulls of WHOM, we’re never clear on). And what’s more, there are, no doubt, a lot of Pokemon who wear pants in fanart — and whatever’s going on with Lucario is no doubt going to get edited by enthusiastic artists.

(Considering a regional variant of Lucario that has side pockets turning their thighs-that-look-like-shorts into cargos.)

Here is where we find ourselves with a problem about the assumptions of clothes-ness. The assumption for this sake is that unless we see some indication otherwise that the Pokemon’s component elements can be removed or changed, it doesn’t really ‘count’ as clothes because we can’t, for sure, say that it’s not just part of their body. Both Smeargle and Slowking look like they’re wearing hats but we know one of them it’s explicitly a symbiote and the other, we have no reason to believe it’s not part of its body.

Do we have any place where Pokemon wear clothes that are explicitly and obviously actually clothes, not standardised as part of the Pokemon’s design? Well, there’s a few obvious examples, in the form of the cosplay Pikachus from Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire that lets Pikachu take on the form of things like a Luchador or a Rock Star. Pikachu can wear one of a number of hats, as well, and of course, transition her gender. Which is an odd thing to say, but that is literally what it looks like it’s doing. Continuing away from the Pikachu Privilege space, Pokemon Go brings us the Event Pokemon, which includes Squirtles wearing sunglasses, Pikachus wearing hats (god damnit, there they are again), and honestly pretty cute things like Blisseys in flower crowns, but nobody wearing pants. Jigglypuff, Pichu and Pikachu in Smash Bros don some headgear – caps and bandannas and crowns and bows, those are all accessorising. If we’re looking for signs of a Pokemon wearing pants, so far, all thse avenues leave us stuck looking at only Pikachu, and largely, it’s when Pikachu is doing some kind of a costume.

But hang on, what about skirts? The discerning person’s pant? Well, turns out that a whole range of Pokemon wear skirts in the anime! Serena has a Braxien that wears a skirt, and Dawn’s pokemon don skirts not just once, but thrice – and they’re different skirts!

Skirts, clearly, are more important than pants. After all, Pikachu has worn basically one kind of pants, so far and Buneary has worn an ice dancer skirt, a cheerleader skirt, and a maid skirt, which means that Buneary is three times the man Pikachu can be.

Still, the ever expanding leviathan of Pokemon is relentless and in its growth it eventually picked up a MOBA game, which… exists. Pokemon Unite is a game that allows players to buy skins that put ‘holographic’ clothes on their Pokemon, which I find a particularly novel idea because on the one hand, hey, clothes, on the other hand: why are they holograms. The fact they’re holographic clothes kind of underscores the idea that yeah, okay, sure, we’ll put these things in clothes but they’re not going to be clothes clothes. And they’re honestly, pretty sick! They look cool, and they really ramp up the lil guyness of the Pokemon wearing them!

Mostly though?

They don’t add pants.

Obviously at this point I am down a rabbit hole. I started looking into Pokemon clothes because it was interesting and then that led me to ‘pants’ because I thought that Donald Duck joke upstream was pretty good and that then led me here, and now I’m finding myself wondering just why pants are so rare in these kind of character designs. Across all the Pokemon Unite hologram outfits, I tracked about seventy five that I think count as wearing something like ‘pants’ or a skirt. There are some challenging judgement calls here, though; Blissey, Delphox, Hoopa and Tsareena are all built like their design incorporates a skirt, and their outfits don’t change that skirt design, either putting something above or below that, and I don’t know how to make that judgment call.

There are some truly unhinged choices in these designs, though. Originally this started out as a joke to make a sort of spreadsheet of the kinds of things that you can do with a Pokemon’s design but buckle up because now we’re dealing with something truly crackers. I want you to see these things. I want you, the majority of the people in the world who have not and never will play Pokemon Unite that read this blog, to see the way they decided to implement some of these outfits.

Over 378 costumes, about 73 of them introduce something like pants or a skirt to the Pokemon in question. Of those outfits, there are some truly amazing choices, like Absol asking and answering the question ‘if an Absol wore shorts, it would wear them like this.”

Where Pokemon with ‘skirts’ don’t change them with clothes, amazingly, Lucario and Cinderace, who look like they’re wearing shorts, add on extra elements that integrate those shorts, but also have costumes that change the shorts into other kinds of shorts. Which means that this outfit – well, okay, it’s a hologram we know how the outfit does it, but this outfit is basically painting their legs to fit a different aesthetic. Which I guess makes Cinderace a homestuck?

Special shout out here to Greedent, where taking a shirt and applying it to a pokemon that has otherwise entirely benign design of chest fur, somehow makes that fur look like some truly uncontrolled pubes.

I did also find that there’s a point where Mr Mime in Pokemon Unite can wear one outfit that adds shorts, which is somehow more perverse than not wearing them at all.

Alright, what does this tell us?

Absolutely nothing

But in the process I got to show you this picture of a Slowbro wearing gardening clothes, and the Mamoswine sticking its teeth through its hoodie sleeves made for them.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[br4inr0tx]

Here we go with another match, this time for 🐻 Anon!

Another note, yes I’ve been gone for like two months.. Halloween season is a busy season for me every year since my dumbass decided to become a scare actor. Even better, I got sick right after! Yay! Now I’m back, I’m going to go on a marathon and get all the matches in my inbox out of the way.

TW - Toxic Replationships, Forced Affection, Torture, Guns, and Knives.

Your Boyfriend to Death matchup is… REN HANA !!

• This may have been an obvious one, but I think Ren is the best for you!

• Ren’s type is generally alt people. Anyone into nerd culture regarding media series definitely catch his attention first. Seeing an artsy, pinky person like you immediately makes him have heart eyes for you. I guess you could say he just wants an anime looking bf/gf/partner. Since you fit in that category, you got him pretty easily!

• Hazzah! You’re taller than him! Don’t think he’ll let you get away with bullying him about it. He’s a little bit self conscious, and will most likely punish you with the shock collar for it.

• As I mentioned before, Ren is a sucker for cute things. Seeing anything cute, especially something from you, can pull on his heartstrings. If you wear any anime related stuff, or even those Japanese lolita dresses, he’s going head of heels.

• He loves putting you and/or helping you pick in certain outfit. As you’d expect he loves seeing you in anime character cosplays, or just anything cute. Seeing you in lingerie is a special treat.

• Now uh.. about the bear thing. He might get mad jealous because as a beastkin fox, he’s nothing close to a bear. He might get a little lowkey offended, but it’s probably him just being bratty. He’ll get over it.. maybe.

• Unfortunately for you, Ren likes bringing up and doing the things you hate and fear, just to provoke you when you’re not feeling your best. Those little reminders showing you he’s in control are his favorite.

• While he’s mostly cheery, Ren seems to have the ability to go from 0 to 100 REALLY quickly. Some people might consider him the nicest out of all the candidates in BTD, but I like to think he’s equally as dangerous as the rest of them.

• Ren is calm when listening to you, which is good, although most of the time when you seek advice he recommends killing. Please don’t listen to him, or else he might invite his friend Lawrence over for a little fun.

• He thinks you’re super creative! All of your art makes him mesmerized. His form of art comes in the form of snuff films mostly, but I think he has a decent hand at art too.

• Ren most likely listens to anime intros, or alt electronic pop music. Think MSI or And One. I can see him vibing with your music though!

• He gives you all the sweets in the world to fulfill your sweet tooth, unless you’re bad for him. In that case he forbids you from sweets.

• He tends to talk about how much he loves you a lot. Uniquely for him, I feel like he’s the most loving out of all the guys. You tend to be high maintenance, and need reassurance, he’s your guy to remind you all the time of his love.

• He forces you to be close to him a lot. He’s always touching you, not always in hugs and kisses. Even having his claws a little ways into your flesh gives him the power boost he needs.

• Oh.. you like being abused? You already know loves fulfilling all of your naughty desires, exactly how you want them. Beg and cry all you want, once you make any sign at him for him to start, there’s no off switch until he’s says done.

• Ren is a little clinging and teasing. Like a fox, he’s sneaky and isn’t always truthful. He’s a king of manipulation, but.. this is what you wanted. I’m sure you’ve told him yourself, and now? He’s NEVER letting you go.

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

The Rules:

Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the ship in last place will be eliminated.

If there are multiple ships tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every ship in last place will be eliminated, even if all the ships have tied equally.

When there are only two ships remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.

If the ship that you consider the best isn't listed here, hit the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option and reply to this post with the overlooked ship. The ship with the highest 'write-in' votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, VaderLuke/AniLuke!

Addendum to Rule 4: Only polarizing ships are allowed. Yes, I'm sure your OTP is awesome, but if there's no proof of it being polarizing then it unfortunately cannot be added to the poll.

This is all for fun. Don't take it too seriously ;)

...so. I'm going to cheat.

The least voted for option in Round One was the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option. However, because I love chaos, I'm going to replace it with the most 'written-in' polarizing ship instead of eliminating it altogether.

...and that ship is...

VaderLuke! (Sometimes also referred to as 'AniLuke').

Please direct all death threats to my inbox, thank-you! :)

A special shout-out to the other 'write-in' options: Rexsoka, Kryzecest, and Kyluxma

Round Two!

[charismaofobedience]

Hi and welcome to my professional analysis on whether the hypmic men could survive rios bootcamp. All the statements on this are facts and cannot be simply disagreed upon without proof. The assessment to each individual ranking can be found under

Rio - that's rio. easy

Ichiro - I think running around ikebukuro doing errands gives him some pretty good stamina AND strength to get through it all, could do it no problem and would possibly have fun doing it which is an added bonus for doing well

Kuko - Monk training gives him good strength and stamina to do it! Even if he couldn't do something, I feel like kuko would somehow end up doing it out of sheer spite due to others doubting him

Dice - Dice gets through so much shit I think he'd do it no problem only to die AFTER it's all done if this makes sense. Plus he does hang out with Rio so this man should have some training under his belt

Hitoya - special clause for this old man. I would put him with jakurai and rei BUT. You have to consider he deals with kuko and jyushi on basically a daily basis. Kuko alone probably gives this man strength to do it if we are being honest

Samatoki - could do it. Samatoki is pretty strong and all but I don't think this man could go through the pushups for long when we consider the state of his lungs. He has the strength but I don't think he has the proper stamina for it, however, he'd do it and just act like it's nothing

Ramuda - don't be fooled by the cute face. Ramudas high energy comes into play here and helps a lot, especially with stamina, even if the strength is lower than others. It also, however, depends highly on this thing WANTING to do the boot camp or not, which has a high chance of not wanting to unless necessary and, even if doing it, ramuda would whine throughout it.

Jiro - Ichiros brother, also doing shit around ikebukuro. The fact he's good at sports also helps a lot here! He'd do pretty well, however, even with the stamina being here, I don't think his strength is at the levels of the ones above to put him there

Hifumi - would rush through it and do it easily if only to check onto doppo who's currently dying on the floor, so it would take some small time. Gigolo would do it well but only if there are women around to impress them so it's a highly dependant case

Rosho - current maths teacher ex bad boy or whatever the shit. due to his age he has some difficulties surely BUT the strength from his past absolutely is still around. The main problem would be stamina

Jyushi - you need to scare them before and then they'd be rushing through everything to get it done quickly. Also highly dependant on if the vkei clothes are actually there or not, if they are, they're passing out almost immediately due to heat

Doppo - i don't think this man knows what an exercise is, you could easily fold him in half. Lives his life in an office and getting home just cries himself to sleep like the average office worker in Japan. F.

Gentaro - Oya do you really think I could not do this Daisu ufufu ^-^ immediately falls to the floor and passes out. Look at the way this man dresses. Another case of heatstroke in this cast. Even if he was wearing lighter clothes he's a writer and reader, does not even know what an exercise is meant to look like. Would instead pull a book out of nowhere and read while the others go through the bootcamp

Saburo - 14 years old hacker who absolutely stays up late doing tech stuff. Do I need to say more.

Sasara - he'd do one push up and a silly goofyass sound effect like point would play. It means his spine broke.

Jyuto - cop + look at the way he's built

Jakurai - he is healthy, don't get me wrong! However his old man bones aren't meant for this anymore!!!!!! Just let him rest. While the others are doing the push-ups just let him go to these public elder academy places

Rei - dies in 13 seconds max.

[velvet-games]

I finally finished the piece for @prince-liest's OC, Tzafael! this really reminded me of how fun character design is (and also that I've completely forgotten how to make digital art, but that's besides the point...) <3

credit to @hogbogglerspirits for the umbrella design! I kind of butchered it so please look at the original and throw lots of love at them

LOTS of notes, draft sketches, brainstorming, etc. below the cut. enjoy!

(note: a lot of what I'm talking about is based on posts prince made under their #tzafael tag, so take a look at those if you haven't yet!)

thanks for joining me below the cut! here's the sketch without the colors as a treat (in case you want to color it yourself or something, idk).

notes about making the digital drawing:

holy shit this took me forever -- I was not kidding about forgetting how to make digital art lmao. I forgot how much less forgiving digital lines are and genuinely lost the spoons to even attempt lineart, hence just a sketch below the colors.

some of you might've seen the original sketch I sent to prince, which the digital version diverges from just a little. it's mostly the halo which I'll explain later, and I finally caved and drew the sixth eye (you can tell I drew and erased it multiple times in the sketch lmao -- still don't know if I prefer it with or without)

here's the original color ref by the lovely @gendermeh! my color scheme ended up looking really different, so some notes about that:

I was looking at references for magpies like this

and I wanted to basically follow that color scheme while also being somewhat similar to the original -- dark head/shoulders --> dark top of the jacket, bright blue wings --> bright blue bottom of the jacket, greenish tailfeathers --> green pants, hints of purple --> purplish sleeve and pant ends

I also tried (and mostly failed, let's be real) to capture the iridescence of the feathers -- they look like oil spilled on the pavement or iridescent hematite to me! I think the key ended up being adding bright greens/purples and roughly blending them into the blues or vice versa but I didn't really figure that out until I got to the pants lol.

I'm gonna be honest; I don't remember why I went with this shape for the tailcoat. I just remember being unhappy with the sketch and then trying a bunch of different shapes that mostly looked worse lol -- I think I landed on this because a split tail kind of looks like wings?

KEPT the shoes -- absolutely magnifique. I wish I knew how to color gold better.

added lots of jewelry! they like shiny things :)

ALSO PLEASE LOOK AND APPLAUD ME. I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO LABEL MY LAYERS!! NO I DON'T REMEMBER WHY THE HALO HAS ITS OWN LAYER.

alright, time for some more design notes/explanations + draft sketches!

but first, a couple disclaimers:

I want to make it very clear that I LOVE everything about the original design. I made a lot of changes based on personal preference/the way I interpreted the character. I was actually planning on making a digital piece that was more faithful to the original design too, but I was just out of spoons for it cause of life stuff.

you probably shouldn't try to read the notes I made in the sketches I'm about to show you unless I say otherwise. most of it is incoherent brain vomit in illegible artist handwriting and I'll transcribe/explain the stuff I think is important :) (the stuff in quotes are direct transcriptions of my notes)

I know my sketches are very messy lol. I only draw for fun, so I usually don't force myself to make stuff any neater than necessary unless it's supposed to be a formal piece. try to bear with me.

1:

my first few sketches of them! (I think?) this was before I sent prince a laundry list of questions so I was still trying to get a vibe

"magpie -- beak lips?" -- you'll see this in a few sketches; I considered giving them the lipstick design that velvette has since it looks like a beak. I still kind of think it's cute, but 1) I'm pretty sure velvette is the only character that has them, so I didn't want to make it seem like they were related somehow and 2) I thought it might be distracting with how much other crazy stuff I ended up including in their head/face

also, sidenote since it's relevant to what I said about vel: something I realized was important is how one character's design relates to the designs of the rest of the cast. I wasn't sure how much I should've gone for what looked good in a vacuum, how much should be based on what other characters looked like canonically, or what other characters would look like if I also designed them. it ended up being mostly the second option, but it was honestly still a struggle. should I take away some of the tumblr-sexyman-ness (no shade to tumblr sexymen; I love them) because there are other characters that already have it? should I relate their design to sera's and emily's in the show or should I think about how I would've designed sera and emily? should I follow some of the design philosophy of the original show and just throw stuff on there because it looks cool (the answer is yes btw)? decisions, decisions ...

I don't think this showed up really well in most of the drawings, but they actually have a black line down their nose! let's take a look at sera:

since they're siblings, I wanted to include some similar facial markings. the nose line ended up being the only thing I kept though -- I was going to include freckles, but I have a compulsive need to give every character giant bottom lashes so there ended up being no room T.T I like that the magpie's hints of purple kind of match hers tho!

the wingification of the hair begins! I was still unsure of it at this point, but it was an idea I had since I was kind of struggling with how straight the feathers were in the original.

"maybe the ones on their head count as wings (so only one main pair)" -- I originally just had the 2 pairs of wings on their head, so I was thinking of just giving them 1 pair on their back so there would be still be 6 total. also this middle drawing of them is meant to be their exorcist outfit (I wanted it to be a cross between what the other exorcists wear and sera's outfit)

at this stage, I was thinking of giving them more magpie-like characteristics, so I looked at some references and tried to emulate them in a more human design. this ended up being really awkward so I scrapped it, but I still like the idea that their exorcist mask looks like a bird (kind of like a plague doctor's)

2:

peekaboo! I love the idea of them using the wing hair to cover their eyes lol. (ended up using that idea for my own seraph OC since that's their biblically accurate purpose: to cover their eyes/faces in reverence/humility -- doesn't really fit with tzafael tho lol, so they show their face most of the time)

an eyeball in the bowtie -- pretty self-explanatory. the eyeball motif is important.

the one in the middle is just me practicing drawing the original design, and the one on the right is another exorcist outfit I think. I wanted to include the diamond motif/points that sera has on her dress (the diamonds on the bottom turn into eyeballs, which is why the final design also has eyeballs on tzafael's sleeves/pants)

3:

lots of notes on the side based on what prince said in response to my ask

"localized omniscience (power of sight) -- cool + ironic that their sight was supposed to serve God but made them see Heaven for what it really is instead"

another exorcist outfit, this time including the feathers

I was also experimenting with the halo; I was trying to make it look sort of like sera's crown, but that didn't feel right ...

some practice with eyes -- my style is pretty flexible with eye shapes, so I try to make them suit the character. I drew lute's eye and also an actual magpie's as references -- lute's because of the exorcist background and also because they looked appropriately sharp, magpie's for obvious reasons. once again, my compulsive need for giant bottom lashes strikes

there was honestly a lot to balance with the eyes -- I wanted them to look condescending/bored (lowered top lid) but also amused (raised bottom lid) and like a magpie (round) but also harsh/mischievous (sharp, maybe slit pupils like a snake) and similar to sera's (but not too decorated -- also does it make sense for them to look like sera's if emily's don't even look like sera's?)

considered having wings on the shoulders -- the magpie pattern is super cool, so it would've been nice to have that somewhere more explicitly in the design. I still think that might fit in an outfit they would wear in heaven (maybe for formal occasions)

the introduction of the sweatervest! honestly I kind of love this for the way it captures more of the preppy, spoiled old-money upper-class vibe some heaven residents have, but it was scrapped since I couldn't imagine them wearing that while trying to scare the denizens of hell. maybe something they wear casually though.

"yes nictating membrane (on every eye!)" -- AHH I'm so sad I didn't end up putting this to use. I just feel like the whole effect is based on actually seeing them blink, and I don't animate lol.

4:

ugh, the nefarious laughter one ... don't worry I tried harder on a sketch later on lol.

"like the diamonds on Sera + Em" + "diamonds turn into eyes?" -- I draw the diamonds on the sweatervest turning into eyes later.

tried an actual bow instead of a bowtie -- very cute but didn't fit the vibe.

a skirt! I think they would wear a skirt sometimes.

5:

"FUCK ASS BOB" -- asghdk the wingification of the hair continues. unfortunately, I'm realizing at this point that the silhouette of the hair is starting to look a lot like alastor's. I gave a very half-hearted attempt at mitigating this, but it goes back to the thing of how much I am obligated to the original show's designs and what looks cool to me -- I think the wing hair fits them and I didn't want to change it because of alastor, plus my alastor design actually has completely different hair anyway. I did add a third pair to the back to look like a ponytail though.

introduction of the scarf! I was actually going to include this in the final design but uh,,, I forgor. are you starting to see a pattern.

the reason for the scarf is that the "tzafael going to places they know they'll draw attention/can incite chaos" reminded me of that scene in avengers where loki walks into a fancy building looking pretentious af and just casually stabs a guy's eye out. not really the same thing but I felt like the vibe matched. hence, loki's funny little scarf fit.

6:

uaoughdfjh it was SO FUN to draw the wing hair, and it was at this point that I realized they had to stay even though I wasn't sure if it was too different from the original.

gossiping with rosie cause that's the first person I thought of -- tzafael also summoned a pearl necklace to clutch because of the sheer drama of it all (your ex-husband did what??)

also started drawing the rings on their hands. magpie like shiny.

7:

lots of notes cause I was trying to compile the things I still needed to think about/incorporate into the final (I thought this was gonna be the last draft ... haha)

trying to include more bird/eye motifs

"fish ... purse?" -- ha! I forgot I was gonna give them a fish purse. I think I drew that in a later sketch, but not them wearing it.

"picked up Hellish traits bc of extended stay -- existential crisis?" -- I asked prince about the sharp teeth, and their answer implied that they became sharp as they stayed in hell longer, which got me thinking ... I feel like that's actually a great body horror concept. lucifer falling and looking like a normal angel at first, eventually waking up to more and more devilish features and feeling more and more like he's lost his home and his past self ... spooky.

another exorcist outfit -- I actually really like the eyes on the ribs! I never made a final draft for the exorcist uniform, but it would probably look close to what I drew here.

the one on the bottom was meant to be similar to the feathered shoulder pad idea, but this time with the whole magpie (with giant eyes). tried putting the "freckles" (really just dots in this case) over their brows, but that ended up looking kinda weird.

the eye is pretty close to the final design

the one on the right was supposed to be the full final design, but I was totally off lol -- the long trench coat really doesn't give off the right vibe at all

8:

playing around more with the loki vibes of the scarf, also added an eyeball to the chest

I never got happy with the design of the back of the coat -- I think it should probably just be blank at this point. but the sketch here is meant to look like wings/tailfeathers.

yet another exorcist outfit, this time with more magpie motifs. I actually like this one a lot, but I probably should've added the eyes on the ribs from the last sketch. I think I also considered giving them actual tailfeathers at this point.

9:

thanks for sticking with me! I promise we're almost done. have a trans dinosaur I saw while I was travelling as a treat <3

10:

this is after I finished the sketch for the final piece and realized I didn't like the halo design. I drew lute's, sera's, em's, and adam's as refs. (honestly I love the show's idea that each person/people of each rank have a different kind of halo -- I wonder if they can switch them out?)

my main inspiration ended up being the exorcist halo, but I made it look more like an eyeball -- since it always points toward heaven, we can say it's always "looking" at heaven.

(also sera's feather lashes! they're so cute)

11:

EVEN MORE EXORCIST DOODLES

12:

tzafael shooing away my fox demon OC

13:

these are actually sketches for my own seraph OC (raguel), but I wanted to include it since it has even more wing/feather hair variations. I also think the idea of the eyelashes being feather-like could've been cool for tzafael.

14:

some more OG design doodles

tzafael and raguel together because self-indulgence is the name of the game babey (also wanted to draw tzafael freaked out with their wings flared)

(raguel's blind btw, hence asking for eyes -- tzafael has so many!)

you can probably read the dialogue here so give it a shot. I believe in you.

15:

you know what? the fish purse deserves some doodles

16:

putting them in Situations! I was reading over prince's posts again and I realized there were some funny things I could draw them doing/saying

again you can probably read the words here

angel dust also loves fish (but is apparently bad at taking care of them, hence the suffocating blobfish), so tzafael shows him their aquarium (complete with live fish and flora ofc)

I thought alastor was 8 ft but apparently he's 7.3 ft? so tzafael is enjoying the .2 ft they have on him

trying and failing again to come up with a design for the back of the jacket lol

THE crowley quote

apparently the halo still sends signals from the exorcists -- thought their reaction to the battle at the hotel would be funny

the nefarious laughter (take 2) that I promised -- based on a doodle of alastor viv did that I found

them being sad and curling up in a pile of shiny things like a dragon

OKAY I'M DONE. huge, huge thank you to prince for sharing their OC! this was a lot of fun and clearly inspired me a lot haha. please check out their writing; it's literally so good that I can't read anything else these days. I am chewing on their thoughts constantly.

this was an absolute monster of a post, so if you're still reading, I am both impressed and bewildered at your patience. I hope you enjoyed! (I certainly did!)

[anotherobeymeblog]

Which of the characters are the loudest in bed? 👀

I had to rewrite some of these parts three times because tumblr kept not saving the draft when I clicked "save draft" so forgive me if some of them sound a little clipped, I'm pretty annoyed about it lol

Loud

Mammon: Yeah, Mammon has absolutely no concept of volume control. Naturally, he's wildly embarrassed by this and will try to deny how loud he is even in between moans. It's pretty fun to tease him about this. It almost makes it worth all the times someone will bang on the door demanding you keep it down. Almost.

Diavolo: Idk what you expected. He sees no reason to try to hide what you're doing, so he doesn't bother keeping his voice down. And, tbh, I'm not convinced he could be quiet if he tried. This man has a big, booming voice and even his dirty talk sounds more like shouting. Barbatos isn't paid enough for this shit.

Solomon: Whore 💖 He's absolutely shameless, so you better hope no one else is in the same building as you when you fuck. Of course, if you ask him to try to be quiet, he'll happily make even more obnoxiously obscene noises just to annoy you.

Moderate

Leviathan: Levi will bite his lip raw to try to stifle his noises if you don't stop him. He's actually pretty quiet as far as like... decibels go, but his tone is so shrill, his voice carries much farther than it would otherwise. He sounds absolutely pathetic, and if you call him out for this, he will cry, but he will also cum on the spot.

Asmodeus: Okay, I know this is a hot take, but considering his vast uh. Experience, there's no way Asmo doesn't know how to adjust his volume for the situation. Much like everything else related to sex with Asmo, YMMV because he will try to shape himself into your ideal partner. However, if you do manage to get him to loosen up and stop trying to impress you, he naturally makes these clipped, high-pitched whines that are super cute, but not that loud.

Belphegor: So sex with Belphie can really be divided into two categories. Sometimes, it's slow, lazy sex where he's still half asleep and adorably clingy. In these cases, he's almost silent, with the only noises he's making being little sighs and incoherent mumbling that you think might be your name. But on the other hand, when he's in a particularly bratty mood and wants you to wreck his shit, it's a totally different story, and he will be spitting taunts at you even as the words keep getting cut off by choked moans.

Simeon: Simeon is prone to crying during sex and everyone else can fight me. He tries to maintain some semblance of dignity at first, but it never takes long before he falls apart and starts crying out freely.

Quiet

Lucifer: Yeah, the most you're getting from him is the occasional tremor in his voice. He's bad at showing vulnerability at the best of times, so you just have to get used to picking up on the way his mouth twists or his brow furrows, because you won't be getting any more obvious reactions than that. (Unless he's drunk, but that's another story altogether.)

Satan: Depending on his mood, the sounds he makes range from low growls to soft, breathy moans. Either way, it's gonna be pretty quiet, and you'd need to be within a couple feet of him to be able to hear them at all.

Beelzebub: If you're doing something particularly intense, you may be treated to some choked grunts, but otherwise, the only noises he really makes are his breath getting heavier and whispered praises that grow increasingly incoherent as he approaches his orgasm, at which point he seems to stop breathing altogether.

Barbatos: Barbatos makes these drawn-out, airy noises that are very cute, but almost inaudible if your faces aren't right up against each other. If you make it known that you want to hear him better, he won't get any louder, but instead will lean towards you to moan right in your ear.

[a-certain-romance]

Characters/Ships: Arlecchino, Ei, Miko, & Ningguang x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, strap ons (Arlecchino), cockwarming (Arlecchino), crying (Miko), Face-sitting (Ei), Dom reader (Ei), mention of toys (Ningguang)

A/N: Oh sweetie, my dignity died at my first post. I had a lot of fun with this one, I tilted the scale between fluff and smut with these 4. Ik one or two might be a bit overused so I tried to add a little something extra to ones I considered to be obvious to their character

- Sometimes she’ll open that big, fluffy coat of her’s and embrace your body against hers for more warmth. She normally does this when no one is around. But if someone stumbles upon this, her glare will scare off any unnecessary gossip

- Speaking of, Arlecchino is very protective of you. Being in this relationship is not only dangerous for her but for you as well. If you aren’t experienced already, she might teach you a few basic maneuvers to protect yourself. She knows it wouldn’t be enough to ensure your safety, but it helps put her mind at ease. No one would ever dare to cross you and get away with it. Arlecchino is well equipped with the resources to make someone “mysteriously disappear” if needed.

- Many of your dates might involve the arts in some way or another. Seeing an opera, walking through an art gallery, maybe you can convince her to stand still for a caricature.

- Arlecchino likes having you on her lap. She’d tell you to stop squirming when you’re cockwarming her strap as she’s looking over documents. It’s the perfect position for it, no one will ever notice how deep she’s buried into your cute cunt. Just make sure to keep you voice down.

- Ei is extremely touch starved. Please hold her when you can! She loves having her hands on you whenever you allow it. Praise her while you’re at it too. Tell her how much you love the way she trembles when she’s grinding on your face, whimpering how “it’s too much” for her to handle.

- Ei’s dominant side starts to show up more as the relationship progresses. But when you’re first exploring each other, she’s pure putty in your hands. She loves it when you take the lead. It’s so cute how obedient Ei is for you: spreading her legs without a second thought, offering up her body for you to tease, moaning near your ear all the dirty things she wants you to do to her.

- I can imagine Ei prefers slow and sensual sex over the fast and rough kind. Ei’s divinity shapes her perspective of time; when she’s with you, she truly believes she has all the time in the world. Nothing will have to feel rushed or forced (unless you’re into that, to which case she might accommodate). That being said, she isn’t the biggest fan of quickies.

- She enjoys cuddling with you in her fox form more than she lets on. If you scratch or rub Miko in her favorite spots, she’ll reward you with content purring. Care for her gently though. Being too rough will make her squirm around and move to a different spot. She’d nip at your fingers any time you would try to get them close to her fur and would refuse to lay anywhere near you out of pettiness. Worse case scenario, Miko would transform out of her form. So try to avoid putting her in a grumpy state.

- She always wears a perfume she thinks you would like. She experiments with different kinds and uses it as an excuse to be closer to you. Miko tends to spray it on her neck so you have no choice but to lean in real close to her.

- You know this picture? :

- Miko would do that. Always putting waterproof mascara/eyeliner on you so it doesn’t run down your cheeks when you cry from her sweet torment. She’d use you as a test subject. Miko’s stuck between to lipstick shades? Let her mark up your neck to see what will leave the better impression. You’ll sit still for her, won’t you?

- You are a breath of fresh air. When Ningguang’s with you, she’s no longer the Tianquen buried under a thousand responsibilities. You’re her favorite stress relief. Your presence alone makes Ningguang unclench her jaw and relax her posture. Whether it’s a quiet night in, or a loud one, you are enough to keep her sane.

- Ningguang loves doing mundane things with you. Yeah, she has 3 secretaries who have her covered in almost all aspects of life. But whenever she can, she loves carving out time to cook a meal with you. She loves taking walks around nearby mountain ranges where it’s more secluded. Simply cuddling with you after a weary day makes her heart melt.

- Ningguang likes sending you gifts. As the Tianquen of Liyue, she won’t always be present. But that doesn’t mean you’ve ever left her mind. Every time she feels that same ache from your absence, she’ll send flowers with a heartfelt card written with the finest stationary. All the pieces of jewelry she sends for you is not only hand crafted, but the jewels specifically hold different types of meanings.

- She seems like the experimental type. With all that money, why not invest in pleasure? She’ll try anything once. That includes buying you anything you’re interested in. But if you prefer the more vanilla route, she’s happy to oblige and leave the kinky stuff behind for you. Anything to keep you moaning her name.

[in-halingstardust]

Hi! May I request an HSR match? My spice tolerance is mid 😅

She/her, Gemini, Intp, 5w4

Asexual/heteromantic

Chaotic Good

Appearance: 164cm. Brown wavy hair, dark Brown eyes. Curvy body I guess? I'm pale with visible beauty marks like on my lips. I wear glasses/sunglasses. I've been described as cute and a tease because I always bite my lips out of habit lol. I often have a tired/annoyed expression or a smile. I wear comfy clothes and even pj outside. Or cliché villain clothes, no in between. I try to wear gloves to stop myself from bitting my nails.

I appear as cold and very sarcastic. But I can be charismatic when I want. I'm always polite unless I dislike you (you'll know it because I become passive agressive). How I act depends on how you act with me, unless I'm in a bad mood. In that case I isolate to not break hearts too much. I act flirty around my friends and is known for sometimes playing with hearts (I'm oblivious to it). I'm petty and can go very far out of spite or vengeance. I curse a lot and will call you out on your bullshit with no issue no matter who you are.

I'm moody and not a morning person AT ALL. I'm brutally honest and it affected some friendships because people sometimes won't dare to approach me. I'm also socially obvious to a lot of things. I'm very curious and have a short attention spawn.

Getting along with me is easy peasy. As long as you're not whiny or a hypocrite we will get along. Now getting to know me is....nearly impossible. No friend of mine has managed to make me spill my problems even thought they share theirs and I help them out. My trust issues and daddy issues are too important for that lol. I don't open up and bottle my feelings all the time till I shut down or explode. I isolate a lot when I have problems or I'm just thinking (I love daydreaming). I'm rebellious but also a smooth talker. My friends know I have good intentions and would never wrong an innocent person. I'm the smart but reckless friend cuz I'll always hype up bad ideas for fun. I can be a bit naive. Even thought I have morbid curiosity and shared dubious experimental ideas....morals ain't my Forte. I'm more logical than emotional. I'm ambitious and can't stand my own failure. But I'm also lazy and a procrastinator which is a terrible combo. I'm always willing to debate and learn new things because knowledge is very important to me. I'm creative and innovative, I know when to get to business. I'm very competitive and try to hide it. Yeah I have an ego, so what? if you don't have a solid argument with me, I'll destroy you.

Despite that, I joke a lot and never take anything seriously. It happens that I underestimate people (I beat them later sooo). I'm a big tease and love to rile up people and see them get angry. I subtly insult people when they piss me off.

Because of that, I get very lonely and I'm misunderstood. I don't recognize my own feelings and mask that pretty well as it fools everyone. i don't consider myself to be a good person for some reasons. I envy easily and get annoyed easily because I want to succeed above all lol. Oh and I love money. I like gifting my friends and receiving gifts.

Hobbies: Reading (mystery, thriller, fantasy), true crime, video games, manga, drawing, baking, fighting sports (sparing and shooting), learning, daydreaming. I love space and mad scientists stories. My aesthetic is definitely related to those subjects as well as the sea and stars.

I'm insecure about my weight despite not being overweight.

In a relationship, I'm the most chill person. I don't get jealous or clingy. You can do whatever you want. I'm always here to give you advices because helping you out, giving you my time and giving you gifts is my love langage. It bothered my last boyfriend because he thought I wasn't emotionally present and isolated a lot (which I did. I warned him that I accepted out of boredroom and didn't love him but he still went ahead. Then he emotionally cheated on my bd and everyone noticed but me lol. I separated from those friends cuz none told me and I value honesty a lot). I love cuddles but I'll take time to accept physical touch. I enjoy a partner that can keep up with me and be patient and honest because I value honesty. I also love receiving gifts because uh...I grew up with them validating love. I hate whiny and cowardly people. I don't fall first and don't make the first move.

I speak Arabic, French and English. I'm an only child. I study electronics and want to work in space related studies.

Thank you!

Girl... like sincerely, if you need anything DM me. I slap your ex friends/relationship so hard for you. This may be different than usual so let me know if this isn't what you want and if I can fix it! ♡♡♡

This might be a little different, but I’m going to pair you with Blade. 

❥ If we are talking about someone who wears his little, tiny, miniscule heart on his sleeve I’d pick Blade. I feel your relationship would thrive upon honesty through actions rather than words. No wondering about the next move, no hesitation, it will be very different to say the least.

❥ To explain it, it’s more about the will that you both possess. The drive to accomplish whether those demands are wrong or right. The similarity between objectives no matter how concluded the path may be.

❥ So when Blade asks you to be in a ‘partnership’ with him, you are quite taken aback.

❥ It’s not the most romantic ‘partnership’ such as hugs and kisses, affectionate PDA; but, for some reason, Blade is never one to ‘forget’ your favorite type of flowers. It was just on way back, don't think too much of it. Never forget the type of pencils you like for sketching, don't forget the multitude of facts you spew as you both stare at the stars in the sky. Your hand draws constellations as if you can touch them. ❥ Your ‘partnership’ slowly evolves over time to something that passersby would call romantic. Maybe it's the way he is always close to you on rainy days, holding the umbrella with your heat radiating into him. ❥ Sometimes after those cold walks you ask him to warm you up. He gives a small scowl until he lifts you onto the kitchen counter. Your legs wrapping around his waist as he pins you against the cabinet's lips finding yours. Chase kisses turn deeper and you feel your head spinning around in stars.

[devine-fem]

As someone who likes Damijon as both platonic and romantic…I don’t understand the obsession of certain antis bring up whole age gap thing when it comes to Damian and Jon. It’s getting really old and pissing me off at this point.

I can’t recall a fandom I’ve been in where antis kept bringing up an age gap between two characters.

Idk if I’m talking out of my ass but it sounds like as if antis think the fandom puts Damijon in sexual situations 24/7 when that’s not the case.

Jfc no one is forcing you to ship them if you don’t (it’s not even canon!) but don’t go around accusing the fandom as p*d*s just to make a point. ( I know in fandoms there some weirdos too but it doesn’t make up a whole)

Let the Damijon fandom enjoy whatever crumbles they are getting right now…because it’s really just crumbles at this point.

If those antis also consist of those who are our rival ships (they know who they are) like yall are getting canon content rn from DC if you’re upset with the quality of it speak with your wallet idk…???

Sorry for the rant it’s just for the most part Damijon fandom has been pretty chill (excluding Twitter that’s another can of worms) and I hate the accusations parts of the fandom love to make.

Yeah… people don’t talk about how Jon had to be 11 to Damian’s 13 before he left for space because they only read super sons, they never really look at any other source or think about their ages as more than that because tom taylor said out his mouth that they were 3 years apart when dissing the ship BUT he admits himself to not know their exact ages and that it could be a 2 year age gap.

So I just think of it as two years, and with two years I don’t really care because personally even in my youth I’ve been with people who are two years older with no issue because age alone doesn’t determine whether or not someone is taking advantage of you for obvious reasons. Age gaps are not tangible things, to some people what you consider weird is normal to someone else.

Then there’s the fact that neither Jon or Damian have birthdays. Damian was aged up for teen titans which people don’t seem to care about. Among other things like how Jon and Damian are the same age in most other universes… did you know that? Also, people like to say theres a maturity gap but forget that Damian was the immature one that picked fights. Plus, when characters grow up beside each other then it’s less ‘weird’ cause then they are expierencing similar traumas. It’s probably lots smaller then we think.

When I talk about them with a three year age gap then its probably platonic but sometimes romantic, two years then its sometimes platonic or romantic, one year, platonic or romantic and I stay between these because their age can slightly change their dynamic. It’s for fun, its exploring their platonic dynamic if it had elements of romance to it. Its interchangeable to me but for the most parts its two.

They are barbies that I play with at my own free will. They are not real people, they may imitate life but they do not infact replicate it.

So yeah… when they are young I only ever have really seen or interacted with media where J and D have not done more than maybe peck. Its just supposed to be cute and sweet.

Do people not understand the concept of the fact Jon and Damian should not be getting into a serious relationship while they are young or else it would go horribly wrong? Do they not understand that a lot of the ships appeal in the childhood friends TO lovers factor?

It kind of bothers me to be having to put the fact that I l hate Jonjay and like Daminika in my bio so people can get a feel for the type of person I am. And “rival” ships? there’s no rivalry, I don’t feel threatened by other peoples ships at all… especially if they’re canon… unless its like jonjay where the origin of the ship is inherently problematic, substanceless and built on character assassination… but we hate damijon and praise THAT? We say that damijon is worse than that? I’m sorry but jonjay to jon kent is jayroy to roy harper to me.

Twitter is very strange, very very strange people on that app to which this morning I had to uninstall because I KNEW that they would feel threatened by damijons today and hate profusely in response to it.

Although, you guys gotta put that age gap shit to bed…

Dami look 14 here to you? If Damijons are the ones who don’t read comics then how do we know that they are well in their 20s and 30s here. They are both consenting adults in main continuity that can do as they please here. You simply cannot say anything. No arguement can be supported now because now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

There was no point in hate the age gap really in the first place since time was always gonna heal it anyway???

But part of me kind of understands hating it if you experience fandom through twitter which is not a fandom app at all. Damijon stans are annoying and gross on twitter, I get it but not everyone is inherently horrible for obvious reasons.

[larcenywrites]

headcanons for tony stark and wet dreams - like, his wet dreams, your wet dreams, waking up to the other clearly having a wet dream, telling each other about your wet dreams, stuff like that... idk if I'm making sense here hahahaha

Hnnng yes 🤤 there will be plenty of these 😏

Wet Dreams

Warnings: 18+ | slight somnophilia | written with afab reader in mind but it's only explicitly referenced in one or two lines

💠Wet dreams aren't uncommon considering he's away a lot, busy, or too tired/hurt to do much sometimes, and plenty of frustrations and thoughts can get clogged up for both of you. And he's just hot af so who wouldn't have him creeping into their dreams?

💠Plus, this man is almost nonstop horny. So it's no surprise that those thoughts stay in his head even when he's asleep

💠He moves and twitches around in his sleep, so that usually doesn't help the situation when he either A) already has a growing hard-on and succeeds in making it harder, or B) gets one from all that accidental grinding on either you or the bed and proceeds to dream about it

💠If you're a deep sleeper, you probably won't be waking up until he's already pounced on you. But if you aren't, it won't be hard to tell when he's dreaming about you, especially if you're pressed against him...

💠He will be grunting every time he rubs against you or the mattress a little hard, or if you decide to rub against him, but it's rare for him to say your name unless he's having a not so fun dream ☹️ so that won't be a reliable clue. If a hand is on your hip/thigh/waist, it will be gripping at you or your clothes, and the unconscious strength of that grip alone will probably have you wet and possibly left with some light bruises 🥵

💠You also may or may not feel warm precum dribbling against you depending on your sleeping arrangements 🥴

💠Either way, he's likely going to be waking up very soon. He's a pretty light sleeper, and he's probably (much to his frustration) never actually finished one of those dreams.

💠Which is where you'll come in 😌

💠But you're probably still asleep...

💠Sometimes he'll sit and stare at you for a few minutes, deciding whether he should wake you up or just jerk off in the bathroom, but in some cases you just make it worse

💠Especially when you're already pressed against him, or cuddled up so cutely in his chest or neck, or snuggled up into your own pile of pillows and blankets

💠And if you also move around in your sleep, or maybe you're secretly awake and want to further rile up that obvious erection pressed against your ass, it will drive him mad. Whether you grind on him a little or slide that knee you have between his legs against him, he's going to throw any thoughts about leaving you be out the window

💠But as eager as he is, he's going to get you ready enough first, and when he does, he can't decide if he'd rather you wake up to him eating you out or when he's already pumping into you 😮‍💨 This also goes for when you're clearly having some wet dreams.

💠He's a light sleeper, so you grinding on him or moving around a lot will almost always wake him up, and he'll groggily stir at just a call of his name. It'll probably take him a minute to realize the reason, though, unless you're also moaning and/or whimpering his name in your sleep. In that case, he's almost instantly hard and always a little smug about it 😏 He's shoving a hand between your legs, thankful when you're already soaked because usually he can't wait to make your dreams come true and just slides right in

💠When he is going down on you or rubbing you, he's going to be softly shushing and talking the whole time even though you aren't hearing it. He'll keep going when you do wake up, except those lips are now at your ear now, fingers working into you and he’s asking you to tell him all about it so he can take care of it 🥴❤️

💠Or, if he was the one with that little issue, once your eyes flutter open and you've let out a few moans, he'll be telling you all about how he can never keep you off his mind and detailing exactly what he was doing to you... and about to do to you

💠And he won't mind waking up to you taking care of that boner that was so persistent against your thigh... or giving him one when he wasn't awake to help you out earlier and you need him ready now

💠This also might also lead to some late night calls (or during the day, and possibly at a bad time if you're in varying time zones). He is away a lot, and if he can't sleep because of you, you won't be sleeping because of his calls (and plenty of texts if you don't answer)

💠It's definitely a fun way to tease at each other, too. Seductively said references when he gets home, or in wistful sighs when the other finally walks into the kitchen

💠Tony might be a little upset about it. Why didn't you wake him up? And then he'll get a little jealous about it when you brush him off with a quick "I just took care of it myself"

💠Which usually leads to him finding out exactly how bad you needed him, and exactly how you needed him, and why you should wake him up next time 🫠

💠Honestly it might bum you out a little, too, if you're on the other end of that stick, but he's more than willing to give a reenactment for you, and let you join 😏

[sneezemutual]

boyfriend (and myself) obs from earlier today because its been a while!

job obs this time around!! my boyfriend and i are in university, but we also work a part-time job together. (a little corny, i know that, but we happen to like being around each other, ok?)

just in case you missed my lore post and were curious for reasons, he is studying nursing and i am studying mortuary science and biochemistry; we are both part-time managers at the cinemas together as well

now, to the good stuff…

he and another one of our coworkers were making pizzas and i was a few feet away at the air fryer when i heard him ask the coworker, “can you hold this for a sec?” as he pushed the ladle he was using towards him. he looked a tad confused and went “hm?” to which my boyfriend tells him, “i have to sneeze.”

naturally, now, im tuned in all the way

he typically isnt a loud sneezer so i was kind of (pleasantly) surprised when i clearly heard him gasp before he sneezed from like six feet away

he has what i would consider a pretty cute sneeze, always with the chiew! or shiew! at the end but this time around, it was reminiscent of a cough-ish-sounding sneeze? but not to the point where it was not attractive (to me) or that it didnt sound like a sneeze or anything; it was just harsh and sounded like one syllable, instead of soft and more drawn out like his sneezes usually are

if i had to try to spell it, it would be something like, “ahihSHH!” one of those sneezes where you can just hear it fucking hurt the persons throat

the coworker that was holding the ladle immediately started laughing and said, “jesus christ, dude!” so, he was definitely expecting a smaller sneeze too. me and two other workers in the kitchen yelled bless you, he yelled back thank you and glared at our coworker, pretending he was mad at him for laughing

i have never heard him sneeze like that before, so i am guessing some ingredient in the kitchen got to him? and i cant think of the last time that i heard him announce his sneezes either, he does it sometimes (but its typically when there is a lot of other people around, for some reason)

alright alright, now its my turn

not as intricate or entertaining but it happened

a customer mustve had cat hair on their clothes (which is a fairly common experience) and i was sneezing and my makeup was running comically for like an hour after (already aforementioned in posts earlier today) 😭

i sneezed like 30 times spaced out across the hour (which is a lot for me sneezing wise because i didnt take any allergy medication 😭 i usually do but i dont like to take it then drive so i occasionally forget. i took some after this lol)

my boyfriend blessed me or put his hand on my back every time he was around along with another friend/coworker of ours who gets a kick out of my sneezing fits. lots of things make me sneeze so everyone is used to it happening by now and theyre allowed to make fun of me a little

snzfucker without mental block seems like it should be an oxymoron, but i have no problem sneezing in public. im so used to it that even with the fetish, its never made me too uncomfortable. unless its like a situation that anyone would be uncomfortable sneezing in (quiet room, important conservation etc)