#unless you consider that cute and fun in which case

[xysidhequeen]

Hello! I JUST found you The King and His Red Knight series and I am OBSESSED! IT'S SO FREAKING CUTE!!!! Also, thank you for the new ship to my collection hahaha!

I have...so many questions? Not in-depth questions, but please don't feel like these are prompts. Absolutely no pushing on my end, and I hope this doesn't convey pressure. Just...SO EXCITED!!! So I'm figuratively FLAILING!

I LOVE THIS DEPICTION OF GOTHAM'S CITY SPIRIT. I've seen a few takes on this but yours might be my favorite. The DETAIL. The DISSONANCE because you could straight up imagine her in a horror movie, but it's also DANNY and his nonchalance carries over to the reader. 😂 But lol, he WOULD accidentally become King of Gotham. And Jason just essentially became the literal Gotham Knight! 😂🤣😂 As a result though, and actually you might have seen my comment for this, now I'm thinking about whether Amity Park has a city spirit because I remember it being a pretty old place too. And I get sad feelings because if Amity Park loves its hero the same way Gotham does, then how is Amity Park doing after their hero son and all adjacent hero-children were driven away? 😭

I kind of really understand Danny's depression. What his parents did was not only a betrayal, but they literally ruined his life and any chances at a future. The sheer depth of it is at least touched on in many fics where Danny revealed his identity, but I think the implications are distinctly FELT in an unsaid way in your fic. Because canonically, Jason is taken back into the Wayne Family's sphere in many ways. But if that happens here, Danny can never truly join Jason there unless all the secrets come out. Because all it takes is one photo of Danny in a Wayne gossip shot, and the GIW and/or Fentons are on their ass. It's the same mentioned at the beginning with Tucker and Sam. At the time, the best protection Danny could give was to stay away as his friends and family moved forward in life. He can't, but he won't let his spook stagnate with him. Thanks to his parents, Danny Fenton doesn't "exist" anymore, so there's no life where he can move forward with. No wonder he remained in his ghost form, he might as well be dead-dead at that point.

But they ARE doing a bunch of illegal stuff anyway. Is Danny going to be able to go to university? He's so smart, he deserves at least the choice. Even if not officially enrolled, I mean, would he find it appealing to just join classes? (Lol, Gotham Uni students and professors being like normal attendees but three times as much DONE so they REALLY don't register the new guy in class as anything other than another student there for the grind.)

Actual question: What's been going on with Vlad all this time? Did I miss a detail there? He's mentioned as an existence but what's been going on with him since the discovery that Maddie won't even accept her own son as a half-ghost, so he's probably right out. Is he still obsessed with Danny on some level? Or has the dynamic changed there with everything? If nothing else, he'll still be the sassy, creepy billionaire who speaks to Danny in incredibly condescending ways while needling all his weaknesses. (Which is another way of saying, go kick his ass, Jason!)

Just to clarify, Danny's abilities are still growing? Because that's so cool. Was there the implication that the crown and ring are actually binding his powers?

In which case, who would win? Trigon or Danny?

Has Danny done any business with forces like Doctor Fate and Klarion (Lords of Order and Chaos)? How would they fit in the schemes of the Infinite Realm?

Right now, most of the problems are navigating kingship and issues that can't simply be punched into oblivion, which I like and also think is the absolutely right choice to write it. It's both fun, and I like the suspense of Danny's true extent of power yet being unleashed. Actually, I even consider the issues with GIW and Joker to be issues that can't be punched into oblivion because those are tangled with (respectively) politics and emotional issues. My question is, will there ever be a straight-up villain that is a threat to Danny personally? Admittedly, the way his unique being is described gave my writer-brain a reflexive thought of "someone definitely wants that".

Which is a long way of saying, I have a craving for like that some kind of interdimensional villain looking to capture and enslave all the major forces of existence for one reason or another. And them going "yeesss, and I'll leave the Earth alone as long as you give me these remaining individuals for my collection, including the King of the Infinite Realms", and seeing Jason lose his shit.

Speaking of which, will Jason ALSO get to beat up a clown for his boyfriend? Freakshow has been mentioned? Any plans for him?

Lol, Mausoleum. How many extra rooms are there? Is there ghost magic playing with the dimensions? Will Gotham moving in mess with that? How do they even get mail if the building is supposed to be abandoned?

Actually, it IS mentioned they paid attention to the safe houses lecture. Do they have a bunch of other safe houses? Including up-and-up ones?

In the last chapter where Danny notes that Arkham's natural ambiance could effortlessly power Spectra and already WAS giving Nocturne a boost, can the same be said about the rest of DP's rogue gallery? All the weapons smuggling and ABUNDANCE of slippery targets in the maze that is Gotham for Skulker. The music/celebrity scene for Ember. The nightlife for Kitty. The doubtlessly countless illegal street races for Johnny, not to mention BATMOBILE at any given time. Not to mention, SHIPYARDS FOR BOXY! ALL THE SHIPPING BOXES AND CRATES!

Before, Tucker was able to eat Blood Blossoms. Now that he, Sam, and Jazz are more distinctly liminal, how do Blood Blossoms affect them? Is there a difference?

Does Jason know about Dan?

Daaaaahhh~! Danny threw a whole ass ball for Jason??? That's so fricking romantic.

Lol, did Dani like the duck candles?

Daaaahh~! Constantine is actually a worry-wart. X3 I love how, essentially, Danny has a job lined up for John after his death. "Lol, welcome to your afterlife, bitch! You're working for me for the rest of eternity! 😈" It feels like it's exactly what John deserves.

Speaking of which, can I say how much I feel Danny and Jason DESERVE each other? Just driving each other up the wall and giving each other as good as they got for the rest of existence hahaha!

Sorry for the very long spiel. Please just know that I LOVE your series and writing!

I feel like i was just brought back from the dead. Which for my followers may basically be the truth, I was on Tumblr to read a blog that does some great analysis for a different fandom I'm in and checked my notifs and saw this in my asks.

I'm sorry as I'm sure this was asked a very long time ago, but hopefully you won't be too upset at the delay for an answer. I'll try to touch on all your points.

One thing to remember with my writing process, most especially with fics, is i rarely plan. I have a rough mix of ideas and goals I want to hit with fics when I write and I let the characters drive me towards them. The exception here is Equilibrium which has an outlined plot. I also end up adding a lot of unintentional foreshadowing and deeper meanings subconsciously.

Warning, walls of text ahead.

I am always so happy, and surprised, how well my interpretation of Gotham's city spirit is recieved. Especially considering there is already a canonical version of Gotham the city spirit. Which is really cool (And super freaky and scary). I spent far more time than I normally would(as i said my writing is very intuitive and instinctive. I sit down and just. Write) thinking about how she would look, and trying to cram as much symbolism (because what could possibly be more of a symbol than the literal spirit of a city?) as I could into her appearance. There's even a refrence to Martha Wayne in her appearance, and technically a reference to Thomas AND Martha in that scene(in the fic the theater Danny goes to, that is the seat of Gotham's power, is the same theater the Wayne Family left and got mugged nearby. That event, that spawned Batman, is seen as such a pivotal moment for the city itself that Gotham's power shifted to make it the nexus). So Gotham is something I'm actually rather proud of, because I put in some real mental work to give her life and tie in a bunch of things. Her dissonance was also, miraculously, intentional. As is Danny's reactions to her. My fics in RK are comedy and fluff first, angst second. Danny and Jason being such funny little shits naturally helps with that, and with taking the edge off of a lot. I wanted Gotham to be undeniably creepy, I actually enjoy supernatural horror movies and I wanted some of that feel to Gotham when I wrote her. I wanted her to be frightening and creepy and something you don't want to see in your mirror at 3am in the dark. But I also wanted to use her to really show exactly how immune Danny is to that, that was important to me. Because Danny in my fic has Seen Some Shit. He's King of the Infinite Realms and every possible afterlife. He can't get scared because of a city spirit. So he had to approach it with a 'away she's kinda sweet' mindset. Which also does a lot to give you hints into how he likely approaches his subjects. No matter how frightening they might look, Danny won't see them as monsters. He's going to see them as who they are, and offer them comfort if that's what they need. Which is a core part of how I write Danny. He cares, so much. It's why he took Jason in, it's why he's willing to put himself out there again and possibly make enemies with the entire world just because his subjects are in danger. You'll notice that the people Danny sees as monsters are always living Humans. Because they act like monsters.

I'm addressing Amity in a different bullet point because I went on about Gotham and Danny so much. I didn't initially have any concrete plans for Amity Park to have a city ghost, although that is a natural conclusion to come to. It is a fairly sized city (I'd place it as a mid to large city because of the sky scrapers shown in the show, I've lived in several cities and only the large ones have buildings like that, small cities do not grow up, they sprawl outwards. At least in the south). Combined with the amount of ectoplasm released from the portal to hell the Fentons opened there should definitely be a city spirit. Now whether it's a newly born city spirit that hasn't entirely formed a sense of self yet, an existing one, or is Danny himself I haven't landed on as of yet. If we touch back on Amity this will be brought up inevitably.

Danny's abuse and the fall out from the Fentons and all of that trauma is implied throughout for a reason, the reason being that the fics are comedy and fluff focused. I can, and do, write angst and willingly will deep dive into a character's trauma but the focus of RK was always to be a bit of a balm. I wanted it to be fun while also providing Danny and Jason with a chance to heal together. But I'm incapable of writing depthless works, so I hint at and allude to what Danny went through as much as I can without shifting the tone. And also, Danny doesn't want to touch on his trauma or issues. He doesn't want to work through it. He's avoidant. (How does Jazz feel about this? Frustrated. She wants a drink) This will cause problems later. You can see his avoidance in how little he talks about it, and you can see it still affecting him in the fact that he's now more comfortable in his ghost form than his human form. And it says a lot about his self perception as well.

Onto the Wayne Family. Danny getting involved with them could cause problems, if he has a reason to be involved. I know a lot of fics get deeply involved with the Wayne Family (and I love that, i love those fics) however Danny really doesn't have the biggest interest in the Wayne Family as a whole. His main interest is Jason, Tim and eventually Damian. Dick he feels obliged towards because Jason cares, but that's not really Danny caring about him one way or another. (And this is yet another example of Danny and his trauma. He takes an interest in the child heroes, because he was one. Dick also was a child hero at one point, but he's an adult now and in Danny's mind this means he doesn't Need Danny. Danny needs to be needed.) I don't see Jason going in the direction of reintegration in this fic series, mostly because he already has a very stable support network (something that Jason did not have in UTRH) and he's a lot more secure in himself. And most importantly, Bruce and the Wayne Family are no longer the sole source of love and comfort for Jason. Jason spent his 'missing' years being loved and adored by So Many People. Yes, he's still devastated by his death, and Bruce's actions leading up to and following it but it's no longer a defining part of him. Actually at this point he's spent nearly as much time with Danny and everyone as he did with Bruce (I'm not checking the actual timeline, but it should be of a roughly similar amount of time) and during still formative years of his development. Jason doesn't Need Bruce to kill the Joker here the way he did in canon. Although it would do a lot to facilitate at least something like amicability here. But if Bruce wants a relationship with Jason (and whichever other batkids Danny steals from him) he would have to Work for it and it would take a Long Time before Jason is even willing to step foot in the manor, let alone drag Danny along and result in paparazzi catching a quick shot.

I'm breaking this up because I talk too much. But if anyone is going to be caught in a picture and plastered on a gossip column for hanging out with a Wayne it's most likely going to be Jazz. Feel free to guess why.

Danny is unlikely to go to Uni the normal way. He really doesn't even see himself as human, or living, anymore. He fully sees himself as a Hero first, King second and Danny third. He wouldn't be willing to split his responsibilities that far, he's only willing to even leave the IRs at all because they're building a portal so he can go back and forth without using his own power to do so. He will push for Jason to go though, because Danny is always going to try to make sure the people he cares for get their dreams even if he doesn't. However he may start 'shadowing' classes if he gets the chance. But that might take convincing from the rest of the Spook to have happen. Danny is very averse to being selfish in my fic, he's been a King for too long. (You are right though that even if he goes in his human form no one would care. He's not holding them hostage, they have better things to care about)

Vlad is doing creepy Vlad things in the background. Like building a shrine. He's not touched on because he is no longer a threat to Danny. Danny matched Vlad when he was 14, by now as a fully fledged adult with years to grow into his powers and self, along with the authorities given to him as King, Vlad can't stand up to him. He's been so thoroughly outclassed he's not going to try. Vlad is smart, and cunning for all he's mildly insane. He isn't going into a fight he knows he won't win. It doesn't help that Danny has been living in the GZ for years, and staying in his own seat of power which further skews the power dynamic there. However, now Danny is back in the world of the living and shaking things up. Maybe Vlad thinks he can slip his way in? And you know who isn't as strong as Danny but is ALSO a Halfa and is also someone Danny has strong emotional ties to? Jason. So if Vlad shows up it's unlikely he's going to be aiming directly at Danny. He knows better by now, but that doesn't mean he can't do Something if he shows up.

Danny's powers are still growing. His theorizing that he's tied into the IR is canon in the fics. Danny is smart, definitely take his theories seriously. As long as the IRs continue to grow, so will Danny. His power is, pardon the pun, infinite in its potential. He will never stop growing. I like writing him as OP. It means I have to think of other solutions to add tension since there's no actual threat that can stand up to Danny. The Ring and Crown don't really limit his powers, so much as they kind of smooth out the rough edges in a way? Normal Danny in ghost form is like a hurricane, all wild power and force of nature. The Ring and Crown kind of... clean that up a bit to give him a sense of gravitas and elegance. They make him a King, basically, and add Authority to him.

Danny would beat Trigon, hands down. Danny is a multiversal level threat, meaning he has the power to destroy multiple universes if he wanted to. Is he consciously aware of this? No. He'd have a whole meltdown if he realized the full extent of his power. Honestly I could see Danny fighting Trigon just because if he met Raven and befriended her. But also, I'm not as familiar with Raven's story besides what's shown in DCAM and Teen Titans(the OG show). So it's unlikely to happen.

He is familiar with the Lords of Order and Chaos. As an agent of Death who is also tied to Life he sees the intrinsic need for both, as life is chaotic by nature and death is its own form of order(all must come to her one day, no matter who they are.) But on a personal level he thinks Klarion is a funny kid and Doctor Fate is an annoying stick in the mud. But as always Danny is going to offer grace towards those he views as children, and he definitely sees Klarion as a child and Klarion's actions reinforce that belief. If they ever interact Danny is going to behave like an Uncle towards Klarion and at worst just throw him into a portal to have his fun in the IR where he can't really do too much damage. If he runs into DF he'd probably try to just leave if possible, as he respects DF but his general distaste towards adult living heroes is going to make him not want to deal with him. But I also am not exceedingly familiar with either of these characters so there's not a huge chance of them appearing in my fics.

I'm glad you enjoy that most of the issues Danny&Co approach aren't things he can punch away. It's the only way I can add tension since I prefer writing Danny as OP so I can focus on character growth. There are no villains in the fic series who will pose a physical threat to Danny himself. The only way to even the playing field are Fenton Tech weapons, which Danny is VERY familiar with and even if his parents made new ones, he's so familiar with them, their thought process and their inventions that he's going to be able to reverse engineer any of it in minutes. So even with those it would take a LOT for someone to be seen as a valid threat to Danny. However this doesn't mean they can't be a threat in other ways. They can threaten him politically(with his aims towards getting Ghosts recognized as sentient beings with rights) they can threaten his friends, they can even threaten people close to the people he cares about (Dick, Tim, Damian, Babs, Bruce, Tucker's family, Sam's family etc). He might physically have no equal, but that doesn't mean he lacks weaknesses.

I have no plans for an intergalactic threat in RK (Equilibrium on the other hand...) most of the threats Danny&Co will face are going to be ones that have already been mentioned in fic. (Bruce, to a very low extent, The Fentons, GIW, The American Government, The Justice League).

However Jsson would absolutely go apeshit if someone demanded Danny as a hostage.

Freakshow is lying VERY low and will not be making any in person appearances. Sadly. Jason WILL get to beat up a clown though.

There are enough rooms for the purpose of the plot LOL. Realistically i never did a full floor plan for it, because if I did I'd try to make it in the Sims and then I'd have a whole other set of problems. Currently there is no space magic other than what Gotham has done (which is shift things around underground to facilitate them digging that deep). However that is not going to stay true as more and more supernatural beings take up residence. As for how they get mail. Gotham. Gotham is how they get mail.

They do have more safe houses! Mostly in Gotham as that's home base, and they've been bought under a few different aliases by Sam, Tucker and Jazz. But they all remember Jason's lectures and also all remember how hurt Danny used to get and so they have several spots they can crash in or head to for first aid.

The other ghosts WILL love Gotham. That's as much as I'll say for that, and they will be appearing again.

Blood Blossoms still won't really affect Tucker, Sam or Jazz as none of them are dead. They'd have to be dead, or half dead half alive, for them to have an impact at least in this verse. However Tucker might end up with something like indigestion if he eats one again.

Jason knows Danny fought an evil future version of himself. He doesn't find this weird because. Well. How many times has someone from the Batfamily(actually any DC Hero) had to fight an evil version of themselves? He however is NOT aware Dan is being kept in a thermos in Clockwork's haunt. I have considered having Dan be a character in the fic, just because I think he and Danny as he is in the fic might be able to get along fairly well. But also I'm not sure if I want to bring in another character dealing with emotional trauma and baggage when we've got Danny and Jason and Tim will be absorbed into the group soon as well.

He did throw a ball. Danny is SO sweet to the people he cares about and wants to make them as happy as possible, and Jason was a rather sad kid. Danny can't stop spoiling him anymore because that behavior got ingrained so early in. And Danny did actually enjoy the ball, although that was mostly because Jason enjoyed it and wouldn't stop gushing about it for two weeks straight afterwards.

Dani loves the duck candles and now wants more of them. Constantine has learned that if he buys duck candles he can't expect to use them because Dani will, somehow, know and will, somehow, get in and steal them. He has no idea how she does this. He doesn't want to know actually and can she please stop stealing his candles? He needs those!

Constantine unwillingly cares a Lot about Danny (and Dani but he's less willing to admit that since she keeps stealing his candles). He feels rather like he's being held emotionally hostage here because he doesn't want to care about this chaotic, overpowered king of the dead who is also a traumatized young adult but no one Else seems to be stepping up to care so he guesses it's his problem now. (He knows about Nox. He is lying to himself he's got a soft heart)

Danny and Jason very much deserve each other in every meaning of that lol. They balance each other rather well, and both provide what the other desperately needs.

Sorry for my even longer response to your ask than what you asked, but I couldn't help myself. Also, thank you. You actually reignited a lot of my love for this series. I apologize for any typos.

[superpussyking]

My autism does make me quirky but not in the cute fun way. It makes me quirky in the not being able to play any other character combo but king boo flamerider roller wheels cloud glider on Mario kart 8 deluxe without feeling an impending sense of dread

[teaboot]

So this might be a bit of a dumb question, but I thought I’d ask you because I agree with most of your takes and because you studied fashion.

I graduate this fall, and I don’t know what I’m going to wear to the ceremony. Our school has these green robes so I wanted to wear something to go with them. A lot of the graduates wear white dresses, but I’m not sure I want to because some of them don’t feel formal enough for the occasion. I’ve struggled a lot in my college career, so I wanted to pick something celebratory. I’m just not sure where to start to find something that I like and that will suit me.

I’d also like to get something from a small business, if possible. I’ve visited a few department stores in search of formalwear and I’ve found that 1) things don’t fit me because I’m 4'10'' and 120 lb and 2) I generally don’t like the way they look. I’ve considered Etsy because my roommate who just graduated got a skirt from a seller that looked really nice, but I keep running into the problem of not knowing what I want.

If this is weird, please ignore and I’m really sorry. I just feel a bit lost. Thank you for your time!

ooooooughh that’s a toughie

I think a big factor would be how formal you’re planning to go- are we talking ball gown, black tie event, expensive restaurant, Sunday at church…?

Not knowing your build but going off your description, you’re lucky in that pretty much anything you wear is more likely to be too big than too small, and it’s much easier to cinch or belt or bring in the hem of a garment than it is to let it out. Being petite, you can rely a lot on accessories to bring your look together, and accessories can go a long way in elevating an otherwise plain look.

White dress is a cute idea, though I may aim for off-white just to avoid looking bridal unless it’s a uniform event or a school colours thing. A warm eggshell or cream looks good on most people.

If you’re going to be wearing a robe though, I wouldn’t worry too much about the dress- not unless you want fancy cuffs or collar or hem visible. In which case, a nice blouse with a belted maxi or midi skirt could be a good idea, if a little old-fashioned.

As for specific retailers, I fully encourage Etsy stores with good reviews, though I would add a note to your order if something is urgent or has specific measurements or requirements or alterations. And some styles are safer than others when it comes to sizing- being broad-shouldered myself, I always gravitate to wrap dresses or wrap tops, just ‘cause they enhance a curvy figure while still having plenty of room for error in sizing.

I know this didn’t really help with specifics, but maybe hopefully gave you some ideas…?

(one sec, gonna update this with images so you know what kind of tops/dresses I’m referring to)

UPDATE:

When I say “wrap dress”, I mean something like these- Conservative enough to be professional, but light and breezy enough for a long summer ceremony. Ideally in a light cotton or linen blend, and something you can reuse for other events over and over in the future (the second is a bit bright for me but that’s close to the hem I mean- though I personally prefer the first.) Being petite and slim, you’re double lucky in that you could probably pull off an empire waist too if you like for that floaty, ethereal look- busty people like me often just end up looking pregnant.

As for blouses, these are great and can be super crazy, depending on how far you wanna go

You’ll be depending on the collar and sleeves to do most of the legwork here, so you can have a lot of fun with them. The skirt though should be at least lower calf-length to balance the whole thing out.

Thinking like

Cute, retro, somewhat formal, and you can keep wearing the pieces instead of a big gown that ends up in the back of a closet forever. (I’ve lived a broke life, vintage styles like this are fantastic for the longevity and penny-pinching that I look for)

But with robes on, the biggest parts of your outfit will be neckline and hemline, so whatever you end up going with, focus there.

Also, shoes go in and out of style constantly, and it’s going to be a LONG fucking day, so if you want to wear heels I’d go with a closed-toe almond fit with a low heel, ideally on the thicker side, and in black, or at least some other neutral colour to avoid taking up attention. Unless you can get the exact shade of green as your school colours, in which case that would be pretty neat too, but black may be your best bet.

comme ça:

If there’s any inspo images you have on hand or particular styles you feel suit you personally, I could find something more suited to your tastes, but these are basically my go-tos.

Traditional timeless and comfy, and either long-lasting or functional enough to be worn over and over again, dressed up or down to the occasion.

Hope I could help?

And congratulations! :D

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Hot-Hot Rock Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

You know something I love about the Mario series? Its tendency to use reduplication to put emphasis on certain words. You thought your average everyday mountain was tall? Well this is a Tall Tall Mountain. You've never seen docks quite this dire before! And it's not even just adjectives that get in on the fun! Rock Rock Mountain, Ice Ice Outpost, I love that something can be more "rock" or "ice" than something else. Sometimes a word is so nice, you just wanna say it twice twice.

Hot-Hot Rocks are one of the latest additions to this long-running Mario trend, and also one of our latest Cubic Companions! You know, Blocks are very important to the Mario franchise, but how many enemies can you think of that are blocks...? The answer should be a lot. This was a Mod Hooligon Trick and you may or may not have fallen for it. I can't tell unless you tell me, alright?

Hot-Hot Rocks first appear in the level Hot-Hot Hot! (this is an example of a linguistic phenomenon known as "threeduplication"), where they serve as one of the primary obstacles. As long as Hot-Hot Rocks are Not-Hot, you can stand on them like any other platform. But when they start glowing red, you better get out of the kitchen, because Mario and friends can't stand the heat!

Of course, a little water is all it takes to turn Hot-Hot Rocks into Not-Hot Rocks for good, so spray them with Elephant Mario's trunk or a precariously placed pot of water, and they won't be able to hurt you anymore!

Hot-Hot Rocks have a symbiotic relationship with another new enemy called Kerpop, which will probably get its own post someday, likely courtesy of Mod Chikako. These guys act like Goombas most of the time, but when they touch a hot Hot-Hot Rock, they will pop and begin jumping around! How cute! This attention to detail is what makes Super Mario Bros. Wonder truly special.

That's about all there is to Hot-Hot Rocks, but we're not quite done yet, because this post is about to get all philisolophical(sic)! Because as Weird Mario Enemies, an important part of that title-we-love-to-defy-and-love-bringing-up-how-much-we-love-to-defy-it is knowing what an "enemy" is to begin with. And so we must ask ourselves: what is an enemy? What separates an enemy from an obstacle? And is there even a meaningful difference...?

I can't say I can give you an answer. But I can give you a bunch of thought exercises under the cut! You like those, right?

You do like those! Thanks for looking under the cut, I really appreciate it.

So if we want to have a discussion of what counts as an "enemy" in the context of a video game, we should probably have a rough definition of what we think an "enemy" is in the first place. It's tough to look for edge cases of something that doesn't have any edges.

I personally think a good starting definition is along the lines of "a character designed with the intent of hurting the player," or something roughly like that. And now that we have a definition, we can scrutinize the hell out of it!

On the left we have Thwomp. Thwomp is a classic Mario Enemy. The kind you'd see featured on @regularmarioenemies. We invite Thwomp over for dinner every Sunday, and Thwomp always smashes the dinner table because that's just what Thwomp does. On the right we have Karamenbo. Karamenbo does the exact same thing that Thwomp does, but it doesn't have a face! And despite the fact they act the exact same way, this simple design difference leads to most people considering Thwomp an "enemy" and Karamenbo an "obstacle"!

Is the difference between an enemy and an obstacle really something so simple as having a face? And if so...

What do we make of Lava Bubble, another Classic Mario Enemy that only sometimes has a face? Are they only an enemy when they have a face? Or are they allowed to always be enemies in spite of their occasional facelessness? Or alternatively, are they prohibited from being enemies despite their occasional befacedness? I don't know, and my "the fact I am writing for this blog" tells me I should probably be an expert in this field!

And what about Moonsnake? What could easily be dismissed as a simple obstacle like a Spike Bar is revealed by in-game text to be a living creature! Does this allow it to be classified as an enemy instead? Does something become an enemy just because there's text saying it's alive? Do ghosts and robots count as alive? Is a thorny flower an enemy instead of an obstacle, or does the specific choice of the word "creature" make a meaningful distinction here?

What if I told you there's official text calling Karamenbo a type of Thwomp, does that change your perception of it?

And we haven't even started touching on the idea of whether or not enemies need to hurt you. Let me ask you an important question...

Are Hoppos enemies? They can not hurt you. Whenever you touch them, you just bounce off, and sure, you might be bounced into something that can hurt you, but Hoppo is just an animal. Is it really Hoppo's fault? Could Hoppo be charged with manslaughter for bouncing Mario into a bottomless pit? Are bottomless pits a type of enemy?

Flomps, Bomps, these can not hurt you directly, but they can cause you to get hurt! And they're relatives of Thwomp, too! Do these factors matter in defining them as an enemy? Bomps act basically the same as the Push-Blocks from Super Mario Odyssey, and the wiki classifies those as mere platforms!

Is mayonnaise an enemy? I don't even know anymore!

Basically, enemies are a subclass of obstacle but there's not really a meaningful distinction that separates them. Literally the only thing that separates an enemy from an obstacle is the Vibes. Nothing else matters! Sorry! But what does that mean for our blog...?

Absolutely nothing! As I've said multiple times, we stopped caring about that distinction ages ago. We're hardly even a Mario blog anymore! I just wanted to subject you to my ramblings because I've had this in the back of my mind for a while now and well I had to say it somewhere.

And since I subjected you to several paragraphs of ramblings that amount to basically nothing... am I an enemy...?

[br4inr0tx]

Here we go with another match, this time for 🐻 Anon!

Another note, yes I’ve been gone for like two months.. Halloween season is a busy season for me every year since my dumbass decided to become a scare actor. Even better, I got sick right after! Yay! Now I’m back, I’m going to go on a marathon and get all the matches in my inbox out of the way.

TW - Toxic Replationships, Forced Affection, Torture, Guns, and Knives.

Your Boyfriend to Death matchup is… REN HANA !!

• This may have been an obvious one, but I think Ren is the best for you!

• Ren’s type is generally alt people. Anyone into nerd culture regarding media series definitely catch his attention first. Seeing an artsy, pinky person like you immediately makes him have heart eyes for you. I guess you could say he just wants an anime looking bf/gf/partner. Since you fit in that category, you got him pretty easily!

• Hazzah! You’re taller than him! Don’t think he’ll let you get away with bullying him about it. He’s a little bit self conscious, and will most likely punish you with the shock collar for it.

• As I mentioned before, Ren is a sucker for cute things. Seeing anything cute, especially something from you, can pull on his heartstrings. If you wear any anime related stuff, or even those Japanese lolita dresses, he’s going head of heels.

• He loves putting you and/or helping you pick in certain outfit. As you’d expect he loves seeing you in anime character cosplays, or just anything cute. Seeing you in lingerie is a special treat.

• Now uh.. about the bear thing. He might get mad jealous because as a beastkin fox, he’s nothing close to a bear. He might get a little lowkey offended, but it’s probably him just being bratty. He’ll get over it.. maybe.

• Unfortunately for you, Ren likes bringing up and doing the things you hate and fear, just to provoke you when you’re not feeling your best. Those little reminders showing you he’s in control are his favorite.

• While he’s mostly cheery, Ren seems to have the ability to go from 0 to 100 REALLY quickly. Some people might consider him the nicest out of all the candidates in BTD, but I like to think he’s equally as dangerous as the rest of them.

• Ren is calm when listening to you, which is good, although most of the time when you seek advice he recommends killing. Please don’t listen to him, or else he might invite his friend Lawrence over for a little fun.

• He thinks you’re super creative! All of your art makes him mesmerized. His form of art comes in the form of snuff films mostly, but I think he has a decent hand at art too.

• Ren most likely listens to anime intros, or alt electronic pop music. Think MSI or And One. I can see him vibing with your music though!

• He gives you all the sweets in the world to fulfill your sweet tooth, unless you’re bad for him. In that case he forbids you from sweets.

• He tends to talk about how much he loves you a lot. Uniquely for him, I feel like he’s the most loving out of all the guys. You tend to be high maintenance, and need reassurance, he’s your guy to remind you all the time of his love.

• He forces you to be close to him a lot. He’s always touching you, not always in hugs and kisses. Even having his claws a little ways into your flesh gives him the power boost he needs.

• Oh.. you like being abused? You already know loves fulfilling all of your naughty desires, exactly how you want them. Beg and cry all you want, once you make any sign at him for him to start, there’s no off switch until he’s says done.

• Ren is a little clinging and teasing. Like a fox, he’s sneaky and isn’t always truthful. He’s a king of manipulation, but.. this is what you wanted. I’m sure you’ve told him yourself, and now? He’s NEVER letting you go.

[kiame-sama]

Which monsters are cool with monogamy? There's some speculation on who's good with sharing their human mate with who. But who's doubling down on smugness and protectiveness if the human says they only want one mate?

Most are content with Monogamy, some will only be able to consider the Human if their associated 'group' is allowed by that group's defacto leader (Lilia, Sebek, and Silver fall under a group and are bound by their loyalty to Malleus to let Malleus be the primary mate, they will not agree to be primary mates to the Human without Malleus involved).

Malleus will 100% double down if the Human wants monogamy. He figured he was the only one good enough for them to be a life-long mate with, may as well full send it. He is somewhat sad Lilia was not also chosen as Lilia desperately wants the Human, but he will agree to monogamy for the Human.

Leona will absolutely keep the monogamy vibes for his little Mousey. How cute the Mousey wants him all to themselves. He thinks it is precious and will give that Mousey what they want. He has been second place for a lot of his life, it works wonders for is already large ego to be in first place for once.

Ace already knew he was going to win, I mean, he was your first first-year friend, after all. He loves that he gets to have you all to himself. No sharing with that block-head Deuce.

Deuce is honored you have selected him as your one and only mate, he will happily do the same for you. Don't worry, he is ready to fight off anyone who disagrees (he will lose terribly in most cases, but he will still try and that's what matters!)

Riddle is already on the primarily monogamous route and has zero issue being the Human's one and only. He will be proud as hell about it and boast that his 'King of Hearts' only wants him.

Jack likes the idea of monogamy because he is naturally territorial and likes knowing his territory (the Human) is just as territorial of him as he is of them. Happy pupper wants his mate to be happy.

Azul will happily be the Human's one and only anday even feel the need to tease Jade and Floyd about the Human choosing only him. He will lord it over others and will boast he is the only one they chose.

Papa Hades is already fairly monogamous so if the Human goes the romantic route and not platonic route with him, he will maintain his monogamous ways.

Jade is thrilled with the idea of not having to share with Azul or his Twin, the Human being his one and only, the one only he gets to embrace and hold, he loves it. Craves it.

Floyd is so happy you saw reason, Shrimpy! After all, he only shares with his brother because he has to most times. Don't worry! He can protect and squeeze you well enough all on his own. After all, this is just another reason to challenge himself at something, and the Human is a very fun prize!

Ruggie has been bullied out of almost everything in life other than his home. He is huge by Human standards, but a runt by Gnoll standards, how lovely it would be to be the one and only for the most precious prize ever?

Rook is not sure he deserves this. He is by no means as extraordinary as Vil or as beautiful as Neige, why would the Human choose him? They have so many options, he is fine sharing, honestly! He is unsure he can accept being their one and only. Of course, he also selfishly craves being the only one who gets to know that Human intimately and it gives a wicked sense of unbridled pride from the idea.

Vil is alright with monogamy, to be first place and not have to share it with anyone is truly magnificent. He won't stop Rook from trying unless the Human asks for his help in the matter, but he won't encourage Rook either if the Human truly wants him to be as monogamous.

Idia is just tickled pink about it all. No one to bully him out of his mate? No one to try and put him down for being less confrontational and extroverted? Heaven. He LOVES THIS. Him, Idia, the one no one gave the time of day to, the one no one expected to pull the rarest SSR card with max charisma stats. He who has negative luck and negative charisma stats. Unsuspecting Idia won the Human all to himself and he couldn't be happier about it.

Trey is honestly pleased and thinks it is for the best, he can get more than a little possesive about this precious Human. He would love being the only one that gets the Human to love and hold. He promises to look at no other and expects the same in return. Though he could share, he doesn't want to.

Cater is not sure if he deserves the Human after everything he has done. He isn't sure he should even be allowed around the Human after his actions. If you are certain he is the one you want, he won't argue.

[somewhat-insane]

could I possibly request headcanons for a shadowpeach × gn!reader poly. except reader and wukong are more queer platonic, fused at the hip besties.

im simply delusional and starving 😔 🧡💜❤️

Uh, ABSOLUTELY!!!! Seeing this request genuinely made me so happy you have no idea-

⫘⫘⫘ShadowPeach x GN!Reader (QPR Wukong & Reader)⫘⫘⫘

!!Warnings!!: Implication that reader has kicked the monkey boys in the nuts before, other than that it's mostly just cute sillies

I imagine the start of the relationship definitely wasn't smooth sailing. (But that's not surprising considering they're both experts in rocking the boat.)

Neither or them are the sit down and talk kind of people so you'll probably have to be pretty flexible at first since they're both so used to not defining their own relationship.

Luckily, Macaque is knowledgeable enough to communicate "I'm going to date you, and you don't have to date Wukong too, but he is coming along with us whether you like it or not" (and yes, since Macaque fears rejection, he did not ask you to date him, he demanded it.)

Macaque can definitely be suave and romantic when he wants to be, but don't worry, Wukong will be there to interrupt any romantic tension by throwing peach chips at both of you and going "corny, lame, boo, tomatoes, tomatoes" (and then will promptly demand you buy him more peach chips to replace the ones he threw at you.)

On occasion, Macaque will interrupt the tension himself by being a dork.

You and Wukong will playfully fight over Macaque because it gets him all flustered

Wukong had the idea of doing board game nights but that ended... painfully. For them, not for you.

Totally unrelated, Wukong has dubbed you the "Nutcracker".

Don't wanna talk to someone anymore? Take out a Yu-Gi-Oh card and banish them to the shadow realm. Macaque can take care of the rest. (You can also use this on Wukong. Usually not Macaque himself unless he's in a fun mood in which case he will dramatically fall into one of his own portals.)

You are all insanely protective of each other. (They're definitely more protective of you because of your fragile mortal body, but kicking someone's ass to protect them is a surefire way to make sure their attention is solely on you for the rest of the night.)

Wukong won't stop trying to get you to eat an immortal peach. Luckily, he hasn't stooped low enough to try sneaking immortal peaches into your meals... Yet.

Good luck in the summer, Wukong's a cuddler and not only is he covered in fur, but he also radiates an insane amount of heat. Luckily, Macaque's (super?)natural chill evens it out a bit, but that's only if you can convince him to join the cuddle pile.

Playing a dating sim together for fun and all of you arguing over which character is the hottest. (Careful, Macaque is prone to jealousy. A few kisses should cheer him right up though.)

Macaque is best as showing love through words but physical affection is the quickest way to get him flustered. He'll need his space sometimes though, so be wary of that.

You all have crap sleep schedules

It's hard to cuddle with them sometimes because they both choose the most uncomfortable places to sleep

It's tough when Macaque and Wukong are fighting because they'll both want you to side with them but in reality they're both usually in the wrong

Wukong gets nervous when you and Macaque are fighting because he doesn't want to have to choose between the two of you if you have a big falling out: "... You're going to forgive him, right?" "eventually, yeah." "and you're not going to leave him?" "I'm not going to leave him, Wukong." "... Promise?" "I promise."

When you and Wukong are fighting, Macaque is usually very blunt in what he believes. (Which is usually, "you're both idiots")

They usually have their tails wrapped around a random part of your body. (Wukong does it subconsciously; Macaque is always very conscious when making physical contact.)

You and Wukong hype each other up to go on dates with Macaque; Macaque makes fun of you for it

Wukong likes to tug on your hair and sleeves and stuff; likes to fall asleep while playing with your hair

~

I REALLY liked this request, I hope I did a good job in answering it!

[strawberrymira]

I've been toying with headcanons about Zeus' reaction/behaviour when Hera tells him she's pregnant. I imagine he gets wildly overprotective (even more so than Hades, who is obsessive with security). Fun fact, Hera is also the most skilled pegasus rider on Olympus (she's had a white mare named Cirilla since the Titanomachy) and I just picture her jumping off cliffs for fun while Zeus sputters in the background. Thoughts?

Oh, don’t get me STARTED on cute domestic headcanons!! I blame this brainrot entirely on you lmao 🩷

Zeus is ABSOLUTELY protective as all hell as soon as he finds out Hera is pregnant— more than usual. Which is… already a bit much at times.

The first time around (right after their honeymoon) when Hera fell pregnant with Hephaestus, she figured it may just have been nerves since everything happened so fast and it was their first child.

…That was not the case. This has happened with every single pregnancy. No exceptions.

At first it's very manageable, with Hera gently reminding Zeus that she isn’t going to shatter to pieces at any given moment. …Until she begins to visibly show the pregnancy. And by then, there's no going back.

Zeus wouldn’t force anything, but he often insists that Hera do much less work than usual. “You have so many more important things to focus on, precious.” And honestly? As long as she can still do some work, Hera... doesn’t mind it, oddly enough. It’s one of the few times she’ll allow herself to rest properly, take breaks, and spend more time with her extended family.

..But generally, more time with family means more activities for Zeus to fret over his precious wife participating in.

Days long visits to stay with Demeter with little contact (unless Zeus sends Hermes to inquire) as the two reconnect and spend time enjoying the fruits of Demeter's labor. Usually with Hera returning with plenty of gifts from the earth to sate her pregnancy cravings and telling Zeus of the lovely meadows she would rest in as Demeter went about her work. (Demeter let Hera sleep the afternoons away in the open? She wasn't guarding her at all times?!)

Morning horseback rides with Poseidon that last hours as they disappear into the forest together, returning home laughing to themselves and telling of how they had whipped around a tight path so fast that Poseidon almost fell off his own horse and Hera nearly lost her veil in the commotion. (And Zeus had nearly had a heart attack hearing the story.)

And as much as Zeus trusts Hades out of all their siblings to protect Hera, his precious Queen insisting on visiting Hades in the underworld on a day Zeus is busy and unable to escort her personally is cause for near pitiful levels of worry.

Hermes is the one who hears the most of it, given he's near constantly by Zeus' side in any moment he's not actively zipping around to deliver messages. He honestly finds it quite sweet, if more than a bit amusing. ...And more than a bit exhausting, considering he's the one checking up on Hera on Zeus' behalf nearly every hour.

..Zeus would never want to stifle Hera's freedom, though. Not when he can see how deliriously happy she is spending her days this way. Not fretting over the duties of a queen, just... relaxing and doing as she pleases.

So all Zeus could do is breathe a sigh of relief once he had rushed to finish his work as early as possible, and returned to precisely where he knew Hera would be. Relaxing in her private garden, soaking up the last hours of sunlight and quietly humming to herself as she continued work on the tapestry she sketched out on the very night she came to realize they were expecting another child.

When Zeus lays down beside his Queen and wraps his arms around her, steeling himself for whatever answer may come as he inquires what she's gotten up to today, he at least feels secure that finally, every piece of him is together in one place.

[rosenclaws]

alrighty hugh matchmaking time ❤️

1. i am super super passionate about everything- from big global issues to thinking my professor is an idiot, but also with the things i love too like talking about something i’m writing or the music i like or even just what i did that day, i’m FULL of emotion and i’m a huge yapper about it too (case in point, these fun facts)

2. super physical touch heavy. i don’t get it often with anyone but my family, so i cherish it deeply when i do. holding hands, hugs, playing with someone’s hair, cuddling!!! literally any physical contact with my loved ones means the world to me

3. i wanted to think of something super random and weird for this one so. i LOVE applesauce taste wise BUT i cannot eat it unless the texture is super watery (like, i have to add water to it. most people would think it’s gross). i used to be able to and idk what changed but if i try to eat it normally i will gag without fail. it’s really tragic 💔

p.s. this is such a fun event idea, i love it!!

join my valentines event!

Origins/lumberjack Logan! Before the metal claw trauma lmao.

Logan is grumpy at first but origins Logan just screams teddy bear. He's so soft and just so freaking adorable. I think you probably meet up in town. He's always been the loner type but he's like a mystery mountain man you just have to know. He's short with his words but he finds it kinda cute. Probably makes a few jokes about you stalking him or something. But he still asks you out and well, here we are.

He's not much of a talker and sometimes he gets caught up in his head with everything that's happened to him so he enjoys listening to you talk. You fill the air when he doesn't want to talk but doesn't want the silence. He loves the passion and sometimes he'll tease you if you're getting riled up over something one might consider small but he always agrees with you. Like if you're pissed because someone cut in line at the grocery store he'd hold you and tell you he can go slash the guys tires or something.

Lumberjack Logan is a cuddle bug. Maybe he's scared at first because he doesn't want to hurt you but man the feeling of being able to just cuddle with you is too much to resist. His favorite is laying on your chest and basically wrapping his limbs around you like a koala. He purrs like a cat when you play with his hair and scratch his back. He may look all tough and act tough at work but the moment he comes home he's putty in your hands. He always wants to have a hand on you. On your back, on your waist, a hand in your back pocket, holding your hand. Linking pinkies. Anything. Which can be hard in the summer because he's a walking furnace who insists on holding onto you tight while you sleep. But its cute.

I think this stems from enjoying touching you but also there's a little piece of his mind that's worried about losing you. He knows he's got a dark past that could catch up with him at any moment so he just wants to be able to hold you while he can.

Also he will tease you about your eating preferences, make jokes and refuse to eat it too BUT he will always make it how you like it.

[talenlee]

Finding Pokemon That Wear Pants

Pokemon are lil guys. They are in many cases, just lil guys. But there are some Pokemon that exist further on the continuum of ‘a weird lil guy’ than other Pokemon. I’ve said in the past that if you found out your server at a fast food store was a Lucario, your reaction wouldn’t be ‘oh gross there’s an animal back there’ but ‘oh hi there lil guy.’

One of the traits of a lil guy versus an animal, though, is that lil guys do things in human ways – tool use, language, cultural practice, but most importantly of course, is wearing pants. Pants are how you represent a character as having some engagement with a greater society at large, which is pretty weird when you consider the nature of pants being gendered. Yes, it is a way in which we accept the Pokemon as being individuals in society, in that they buy into a gendered form of clothing. Wait, where was I?

Clothes! Clothes clothes clothes, fashion, style, these are important things for the identity of Pokemon. After all, Meowth engages in fashion, you Philistine, and Team Rocket’s Meowth is very high on the Lil Guy O Meter. If we assume a Pokemon needs to wear pants to ascend up into Lil Guy Status, then there’s surely a list of ways to investigate that, thanks to the Bulbapedia page of Costumed Pokemon.

(By this metric, Donald Duck isn’t a lil guy.)

Some Pokemon wear ‘stuff’ as part of their normal look. Particularly, Machoke wears a belt and what looks like booty shorts, which is fun because Machoke and Machamp have no gender dimorphism, which suggests that this beast has enough of a sense of modesty to not want something on their crotch exposed, but for all of the Maches, it’s tits out. Similarly, Mandibuzz has a bone in its … hair? Which is either a really weird thing for it to grow naturally or it’s an expression of some kind of aesthetic. Cubone and Marowak wear a skull, according to their pokedex entries (but the skulls of WHOM, we’re never clear on). And what’s more, there are, no doubt, a lot of Pokemon who wear pants in fanart — and whatever’s going on with Lucario is no doubt going to get edited by enthusiastic artists.

(Considering a regional variant of Lucario that has side pockets turning their thighs-that-look-like-shorts into cargos.)

Here is where we find ourselves with a problem about the assumptions of clothes-ness. The assumption for this sake is that unless we see some indication otherwise that the Pokemon’s component elements can be removed or changed, it doesn’t really ‘count’ as clothes because we can’t, for sure, say that it’s not just part of their body. Both Smeargle and Slowking look like they’re wearing hats but we know one of them it’s explicitly a symbiote and the other, we have no reason to believe it’s not part of its body.

Do we have any place where Pokemon wear clothes that are explicitly and obviously actually clothes, not standardised as part of the Pokemon’s design? Well, there’s a few obvious examples, in the form of the cosplay Pikachus from Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire that lets Pikachu take on the form of things like a Luchador or a Rock Star. Pikachu can wear one of a number of hats, as well, and of course, transition her gender. Which is an odd thing to say, but that is literally what it looks like it’s doing. Continuing away from the Pikachu Privilege space, Pokemon Go brings us the Event Pokemon, which includes Squirtles wearing sunglasses, Pikachus wearing hats (god damnit, there they are again), and honestly pretty cute things like Blisseys in flower crowns, but nobody wearing pants. Jigglypuff, Pichu and Pikachu in Smash Bros don some headgear – caps and bandannas and crowns and bows, those are all accessorising. If we’re looking for signs of a Pokemon wearing pants, so far, all thse avenues leave us stuck looking at only Pikachu, and largely, it’s when Pikachu is doing some kind of a costume.

But hang on, what about skirts? The discerning person’s pant? Well, turns out that a whole range of Pokemon wear skirts in the anime! Serena has a Braxien that wears a skirt, and Dawn’s pokemon don skirts not just once, but thrice – and they’re different skirts!

Skirts, clearly, are more important than pants. After all, Pikachu has worn basically one kind of pants, so far and Buneary has worn an ice dancer skirt, a cheerleader skirt, and a maid skirt, which means that Buneary is three times the man Pikachu can be.

Still, the ever expanding leviathan of Pokemon is relentless and in its growth it eventually picked up a MOBA game, which… exists. Pokemon Unite is a game that allows players to buy skins that put ‘holographic’ clothes on their Pokemon, which I find a particularly novel idea because on the one hand, hey, clothes, on the other hand: why are they holograms. The fact they’re holographic clothes kind of underscores the idea that yeah, okay, sure, we’ll put these things in clothes but they’re not going to be clothes clothes. And they’re honestly, pretty sick! They look cool, and they really ramp up the lil guyness of the Pokemon wearing them!

Mostly though?

They don’t add pants.

Obviously at this point I am down a rabbit hole. I started looking into Pokemon clothes because it was interesting and then that led me to ‘pants’ because I thought that Donald Duck joke upstream was pretty good and that then led me here, and now I’m finding myself wondering just why pants are so rare in these kind of character designs. Across all the Pokemon Unite hologram outfits, I tracked about seventy five that I think count as wearing something like ‘pants’ or a skirt. There are some challenging judgement calls here, though; Blissey, Delphox, Hoopa and Tsareena are all built like their design incorporates a skirt, and their outfits don’t change that skirt design, either putting something above or below that, and I don’t know how to make that judgment call.

There are some truly unhinged choices in these designs, though. Originally this started out as a joke to make a sort of spreadsheet of the kinds of things that you can do with a Pokemon’s design but buckle up because now we’re dealing with something truly crackers. I want you to see these things. I want you, the majority of the people in the world who have not and never will play Pokemon Unite that read this blog, to see the way they decided to implement some of these outfits.

Over 378 costumes, about 73 of them introduce something like pants or a skirt to the Pokemon in question. Of those outfits, there are some truly amazing choices, like Absol asking and answering the question ‘if an Absol wore shorts, it would wear them like this.”

Where Pokemon with ‘skirts’ don’t change them with clothes, amazingly, Lucario and Cinderace, who look like they’re wearing shorts, add on extra elements that integrate those shorts, but also have costumes that change the shorts into other kinds of shorts. Which means that this outfit – well, okay, it’s a hologram we know how the outfit does it, but this outfit is basically painting their legs to fit a different aesthetic. Which I guess makes Cinderace a homestuck?

Special shout out here to Greedent, where taking a shirt and applying it to a pokemon that has otherwise entirely benign design of chest fur, somehow makes that fur look like some truly uncontrolled pubes.

I did also find that there’s a point where Mr Mime in Pokemon Unite can wear one outfit that adds shorts, which is somehow more perverse than not wearing them at all.

Alright, what does this tell us?

Absolutely nothing

But in the process I got to show you this picture of a Slowbro wearing gardening clothes, and the Mamoswine sticking its teeth through its hoodie sleeves made for them.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

The Rules:

Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the ship in last place will be eliminated.

If there are multiple ships tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every ship in last place will be eliminated, even if all the ships have tied equally.

When there are only two ships remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.

If the ship that you consider the best isn't listed here, hit the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option and reply to this post with the overlooked ship. The ship with the highest 'write-in' votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, VaderLuke/AniLuke!

Addendum to Rule 4: Only polarizing ships are allowed. Yes, I'm sure your OTP is awesome, but if there's no proof of it being polarizing then it unfortunately cannot be added to the poll.

This is all for fun. Don't take it too seriously ;)

...so. I'm going to cheat.

The least voted for option in Round One was the 'the best polarizing ship is ___' option. However, because I love chaos, I'm going to replace it with the most 'written-in' polarizing ship instead of eliminating it altogether.

...and that ship is...

VaderLuke! (Sometimes also referred to as 'AniLuke').

Please direct all death threats to my inbox, thank-you! :)

A special shout-out to the other 'write-in' options: Rexsoka, Kryzecest, and Kyluxma

Round Two!

[velvet-games]

I finally finished the piece for @prince-liest's OC, Tzafael! this really reminded me of how fun character design is (and also that I've completely forgotten how to make digital art, but that's besides the point...) <3

credit to @hogbogglerspirits for the umbrella design! I kind of butchered it so please look at the original and throw lots of love at them

LOTS of notes, draft sketches, brainstorming, etc. below the cut. enjoy!

(note: a lot of what I'm talking about is based on posts prince made under their #tzafael tag, so take a look at those if you haven't yet!)

thanks for joining me below the cut! here's the sketch without the colors as a treat (in case you want to color it yourself or something, idk).

notes about making the digital drawing:

holy shit this took me forever -- I was not kidding about forgetting how to make digital art lmao. I forgot how much less forgiving digital lines are and genuinely lost the spoons to even attempt lineart, hence just a sketch below the colors.

some of you might've seen the original sketch I sent to prince, which the digital version diverges from just a little. it's mostly the halo which I'll explain later, and I finally caved and drew the sixth eye (you can tell I drew and erased it multiple times in the sketch lmao -- still don't know if I prefer it with or without)

here's the original color ref by the lovely @gendermeh! my color scheme ended up looking really different, so some notes about that:

I was looking at references for magpies like this

and I wanted to basically follow that color scheme while also being somewhat similar to the original -- dark head/shoulders --> dark top of the jacket, bright blue wings --> bright blue bottom of the jacket, greenish tailfeathers --> green pants, hints of purple --> purplish sleeve and pant ends

I also tried (and mostly failed, let's be real) to capture the iridescence of the feathers -- they look like oil spilled on the pavement or iridescent hematite to me! I think the key ended up being adding bright greens/purples and roughly blending them into the blues or vice versa but I didn't really figure that out until I got to the pants lol.

I'm gonna be honest; I don't remember why I went with this shape for the tailcoat. I just remember being unhappy with the sketch and then trying a bunch of different shapes that mostly looked worse lol -- I think I landed on this because a split tail kind of looks like wings?

KEPT the shoes -- absolutely magnifique. I wish I knew how to color gold better.

added lots of jewelry! they like shiny things :)

ALSO PLEASE LOOK AND APPLAUD ME. I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO LABEL MY LAYERS!! NO I DON'T REMEMBER WHY THE HALO HAS ITS OWN LAYER.

alright, time for some more design notes/explanations + draft sketches!

but first, a couple disclaimers:

I want to make it very clear that I LOVE everything about the original design. I made a lot of changes based on personal preference/the way I interpreted the character. I was actually planning on making a digital piece that was more faithful to the original design too, but I was just out of spoons for it cause of life stuff.

you probably shouldn't try to read the notes I made in the sketches I'm about to show you unless I say otherwise. most of it is incoherent brain vomit in illegible artist handwriting and I'll transcribe/explain the stuff I think is important :) (the stuff in quotes are direct transcriptions of my notes)

I know my sketches are very messy lol. I only draw for fun, so I usually don't force myself to make stuff any neater than necessary unless it's supposed to be a formal piece. try to bear with me.

1:

my first few sketches of them! (I think?) this was before I sent prince a laundry list of questions so I was still trying to get a vibe

"magpie -- beak lips?" -- you'll see this in a few sketches; I considered giving them the lipstick design that velvette has since it looks like a beak. I still kind of think it's cute, but 1) I'm pretty sure velvette is the only character that has them, so I didn't want to make it seem like they were related somehow and 2) I thought it might be distracting with how much other crazy stuff I ended up including in their head/face

also, sidenote since it's relevant to what I said about vel: something I realized was important is how one character's design relates to the designs of the rest of the cast. I wasn't sure how much I should've gone for what looked good in a vacuum, how much should be based on what other characters looked like canonically, or what other characters would look like if I also designed them. it ended up being mostly the second option, but it was honestly still a struggle. should I take away some of the tumblr-sexyman-ness (no shade to tumblr sexymen; I love them) because there are other characters that already have it? should I relate their design to sera's and emily's in the show or should I think about how I would've designed sera and emily? should I follow some of the design philosophy of the original show and just throw stuff on there because it looks cool (the answer is yes btw)? decisions, decisions ...

I don't think this showed up really well in most of the drawings, but they actually have a black line down their nose! let's take a look at sera:

since they're siblings, I wanted to include some similar facial markings. the nose line ended up being the only thing I kept though -- I was going to include freckles, but I have a compulsive need to give every character giant bottom lashes so there ended up being no room T.T I like that the magpie's hints of purple kind of match hers tho!

the wingification of the hair begins! I was still unsure of it at this point, but it was an idea I had since I was kind of struggling with how straight the feathers were in the original.

"maybe the ones on their head count as wings (so only one main pair)" -- I originally just had the 2 pairs of wings on their head, so I was thinking of just giving them 1 pair on their back so there would be still be 6 total. also this middle drawing of them is meant to be their exorcist outfit (I wanted it to be a cross between what the other exorcists wear and sera's outfit)

at this stage, I was thinking of giving them more magpie-like characteristics, so I looked at some references and tried to emulate them in a more human design. this ended up being really awkward so I scrapped it, but I still like the idea that their exorcist mask looks like a bird (kind of like a plague doctor's)

2:

peekaboo! I love the idea of them using the wing hair to cover their eyes lol. (ended up using that idea for my own seraph OC since that's their biblically accurate purpose: to cover their eyes/faces in reverence/humility -- doesn't really fit with tzafael tho lol, so they show their face most of the time)

an eyeball in the bowtie -- pretty self-explanatory. the eyeball motif is important.

the one in the middle is just me practicing drawing the original design, and the one on the right is another exorcist outfit I think. I wanted to include the diamond motif/points that sera has on her dress (the diamonds on the bottom turn into eyeballs, which is why the final design also has eyeballs on tzafael's sleeves/pants)

3:

lots of notes on the side based on what prince said in response to my ask

"localized omniscience (power of sight) -- cool + ironic that their sight was supposed to serve God but made them see Heaven for what it really is instead"

another exorcist outfit, this time including the feathers

I was also experimenting with the halo; I was trying to make it look sort of like sera's crown, but that didn't feel right ...

some practice with eyes -- my style is pretty flexible with eye shapes, so I try to make them suit the character. I drew lute's eye and also an actual magpie's as references -- lute's because of the exorcist background and also because they looked appropriately sharp, magpie's for obvious reasons. once again, my compulsive need for giant bottom lashes strikes

there was honestly a lot to balance with the eyes -- I wanted them to look condescending/bored (lowered top lid) but also amused (raised bottom lid) and like a magpie (round) but also harsh/mischievous (sharp, maybe slit pupils like a snake) and similar to sera's (but not too decorated -- also does it make sense for them to look like sera's if emily's don't even look like sera's?)

considered having wings on the shoulders -- the magpie pattern is super cool, so it would've been nice to have that somewhere more explicitly in the design. I still think that might fit in an outfit they would wear in heaven (maybe for formal occasions)

the introduction of the sweatervest! honestly I kind of love this for the way it captures more of the preppy, spoiled old-money upper-class vibe some heaven residents have, but it was scrapped since I couldn't imagine them wearing that while trying to scare the denizens of hell. maybe something they wear casually though.

"yes nictating membrane (on every eye!)" -- AHH I'm so sad I didn't end up putting this to use. I just feel like the whole effect is based on actually seeing them blink, and I don't animate lol.

4:

ugh, the nefarious laughter one ... don't worry I tried harder on a sketch later on lol.

"like the diamonds on Sera + Em" + "diamonds turn into eyes?" -- I draw the diamonds on the sweatervest turning into eyes later.

tried an actual bow instead of a bowtie -- very cute but didn't fit the vibe.

a skirt! I think they would wear a skirt sometimes.

5:

"FUCK ASS BOB" -- asghdk the wingification of the hair continues. unfortunately, I'm realizing at this point that the silhouette of the hair is starting to look a lot like alastor's. I gave a very half-hearted attempt at mitigating this, but it goes back to the thing of how much I am obligated to the original show's designs and what looks cool to me -- I think the wing hair fits them and I didn't want to change it because of alastor, plus my alastor design actually has completely different hair anyway. I did add a third pair to the back to look like a ponytail though.

introduction of the scarf! I was actually going to include this in the final design but uh,,, I forgor. are you starting to see a pattern.

the reason for the scarf is that the "tzafael going to places they know they'll draw attention/can incite chaos" reminded me of that scene in avengers where loki walks into a fancy building looking pretentious af and just casually stabs a guy's eye out. not really the same thing but I felt like the vibe matched. hence, loki's funny little scarf fit.

6:

uaoughdfjh it was SO FUN to draw the wing hair, and it was at this point that I realized they had to stay even though I wasn't sure if it was too different from the original.

gossiping with rosie cause that's the first person I thought of -- tzafael also summoned a pearl necklace to clutch because of the sheer drama of it all (your ex-husband did what??)

also started drawing the rings on their hands. magpie like shiny.

7:

lots of notes cause I was trying to compile the things I still needed to think about/incorporate into the final (I thought this was gonna be the last draft ... haha)

trying to include more bird/eye motifs

"fish ... purse?" -- ha! I forgot I was gonna give them a fish purse. I think I drew that in a later sketch, but not them wearing it.

"picked up Hellish traits bc of extended stay -- existential crisis?" -- I asked prince about the sharp teeth, and their answer implied that they became sharp as they stayed in hell longer, which got me thinking ... I feel like that's actually a great body horror concept. lucifer falling and looking like a normal angel at first, eventually waking up to more and more devilish features and feeling more and more like he's lost his home and his past self ... spooky.

another exorcist outfit -- I actually really like the eyes on the ribs! I never made a final draft for the exorcist uniform, but it would probably look close to what I drew here.

the one on the bottom was meant to be similar to the feathered shoulder pad idea, but this time with the whole magpie (with giant eyes). tried putting the "freckles" (really just dots in this case) over their brows, but that ended up looking kinda weird.

the eye is pretty close to the final design

the one on the right was supposed to be the full final design, but I was totally off lol -- the long trench coat really doesn't give off the right vibe at all

8:

playing around more with the loki vibes of the scarf, also added an eyeball to the chest

I never got happy with the design of the back of the coat -- I think it should probably just be blank at this point. but the sketch here is meant to look like wings/tailfeathers.

yet another exorcist outfit, this time with more magpie motifs. I actually like this one a lot, but I probably should've added the eyes on the ribs from the last sketch. I think I also considered giving them actual tailfeathers at this point.

9:

thanks for sticking with me! I promise we're almost done. have a trans dinosaur I saw while I was travelling as a treat <3

10:

this is after I finished the sketch for the final piece and realized I didn't like the halo design. I drew lute's, sera's, em's, and adam's as refs. (honestly I love the show's idea that each person/people of each rank have a different kind of halo -- I wonder if they can switch them out?)

my main inspiration ended up being the exorcist halo, but I made it look more like an eyeball -- since it always points toward heaven, we can say it's always "looking" at heaven.

(also sera's feather lashes! they're so cute)

11:

EVEN MORE EXORCIST DOODLES

12:

tzafael shooing away my fox demon OC

13:

these are actually sketches for my own seraph OC (raguel), but I wanted to include it since it has even more wing/feather hair variations. I also think the idea of the eyelashes being feather-like could've been cool for tzafael.

14:

some more OG design doodles

tzafael and raguel together because self-indulgence is the name of the game babey (also wanted to draw tzafael freaked out with their wings flared)

(raguel's blind btw, hence asking for eyes -- tzafael has so many!)

you can probably read the dialogue here so give it a shot. I believe in you.

15:

you know what? the fish purse deserves some doodles

16:

putting them in Situations! I was reading over prince's posts again and I realized there were some funny things I could draw them doing/saying

again you can probably read the words here

angel dust also loves fish (but is apparently bad at taking care of them, hence the suffocating blobfish), so tzafael shows him their aquarium (complete with live fish and flora ofc)

I thought alastor was 8 ft but apparently he's 7.3 ft? so tzafael is enjoying the .2 ft they have on him

trying and failing again to come up with a design for the back of the jacket lol

THE crowley quote

apparently the halo still sends signals from the exorcists -- thought their reaction to the battle at the hotel would be funny

the nefarious laughter (take 2) that I promised -- based on a doodle of alastor viv did that I found

them being sad and curling up in a pile of shiny things like a dragon

OKAY I'M DONE. huge, huge thank you to prince for sharing their OC! this was a lot of fun and clearly inspired me a lot haha. please check out their writing; it's literally so good that I can't read anything else these days. I am chewing on their thoughts constantly.

this was an absolute monster of a post, so if you're still reading, I am both impressed and bewildered at your patience. I hope you enjoyed! (I certainly did!)

[sadmencentral]

boyfriend (and myself) obs from earlier today because its been a while!

job obs this time around!! my boyfriend and i are in university, but we also work a part-time job together. (a little corny, i know that, but we happen to like being around each other, ok?)

just in case you missed my lore post and were curious for reasons, he is studying nursing and i am pre-med; we are both part-time managers at our lame customer service job

now, to the good stuff…

he and another one of our coworkers were making pizzas and i was a few feet away at the air fryer when i heard him ask the coworker, “can you hold this for a sec?” as he pushed the ladle he was using towards him. he looked a tad confused and went “hm?” to which my boyfriend tells him, “i have to sneeze.”

naturally, now, im tuned in all the way

he typically isnt a loud sneezer so i was kind of (pleasantly) surprised when i clearly heard him gasp before he sneezed from like six feet away

he has what i would consider a pretty cute sneeze, always with the chiew! or shiew! at the end but this time around, it was reminiscent of a cough-ish-sounding sneeze? but not to the point where it was not attractive (to me) or that it didnt sound like a sneeze or anything; it was just harsh and sounded like one syllable, instead of soft and more drawn out like his sneezes usually are

if i had to try to spell it, it would be something like, “ahihSHH!” one of those sneezes where you can just hear it fucking hurt the persons throat

the coworker that was holding the ladle immediately started laughing and said, “jesus christ, dude!” so, he was definitely expecting a smaller sneeze too. me and two other workers in the kitchen yelled bless you, he yelled back thank you and glared at our coworker, pretending he was mad at him for laughing

i have never heard him sneeze like that before, so i am guessing some ingredient in the kitchen got to him? and i cant think of the last time that i heard him announce his sneezes either, he does it sometimes (but its typically when there is a lot of other people around, for some reason)

alright alright, now its my turn

not as intricate or entertaining but it happened

a customer mustve had cat hair on their clothes (which is a fairly common experience) and i was sneezing and my makeup was running comically for like an hour after (already aforementioned in posts earlier today)

i sneezed like 30 times spaced out across the hour (which is a lot for me sneezing wise because i didnt take any allergy medication. i usually do but i dont like to take it then drive so i occasionally forget. i took some after this lol)

my boyfriend blessed me or put his hand on my back every time he was around along with another friend/coworker of ours who gets a kick out of my sneezing fits. lots of things make me sneeze so everyone is used to it happening by now and theyre allowed to make fun of me a little

snzfucker without mental block seems like it should be an oxymoron, but i have no problem sneezing in public. im so used to it that even with the fetish, its never made me too uncomfortable. unless its like a situation that anyone would be uncomfortable sneezing in (quiet room, important conservation etc)

[imjustabeanie]

Matchup exchange

For @frostfall-matches

In the end I picked obey me!

Just as promised, for Lads you would've gotten Xavier, for BNHA shinsou and for Kuroshitsuji Ronald Knox or Undertaker.

Without further wait, your match is...Solomon!

I fear you are stuck with a bad case of white haired lover. For your match is Solomon!

This scenario is basically an academic rival (?) to lovers. Despite his reputation in the sorcerer world, Solomon is still very involved in it. You’re an expert in ancient history and ancient languages. A new very old text was discovered and both of you were very interested in studying it. That’s how the rivalry kinda started. Due to you being the victim to one of his failed cooking experiment once, you two often clash. He sees it as friendly banter until you pranked him on 1st april…

Despite all this, you two are logical and civil individuals who reluctantly had to pair together or else it would go to other sorcerers. It was during those nights that you and Solomon got closer. I mean he was here to explain the seals and magics, hell even repel potential harmful magic sealed in the text. Soon those nights became full of discussions about various subjects. Like his tattoos that are in fact his contract with demons (Yes I stand by that headcanon) and what he did during his long life. Solomon is quite a friendly person despite his sneaky side, so he has no issue casually talking about his experiences and even feeding your historical knowledge with fun facts he experienced firsthands.

One day you two spent so much time talking, and even sometimes gossiping that you didn’t notice it was dinner time. He proposed to cook…hahaha never. You attempted to cook something together but I guess his hands are cursed. Whatever he touches, he ruins. Solomon let you order as many food as you want as an apology. Which is a step into the right direction. Now as I said before, he can befriend anyone but rarely warms up to other. It’s only when Asmo comments on how much he seems to bring you up that he considers getting closer. Consider this plan ruined because you met Asmo at a café, he totally did not do this on purpose, and it soon became a weekly meeting where you two gossiped. Asmo found you cute and said he can totally see you and Solomon getting closer…and wouldn’t mind participating. Cheeky Asmodeus huh? Solomon knows that something is up…Asmo sometimes gives him hints on cute gestures he should do that he swears are friendly towards you. And you sometimes bring up facts and gossips he swears he didn’t tell you. It’s not that difficult to make the link….

“Try having your friend talk about how nice last night was with his so called academic rival for months! You’re usually so upfront…face the truth you got attached by accident Solomon. Just embrace it”

Ladies and gentlemen I would like to present to you the usually calm Solomon analyzing the evolutions of his feelings for the past months with the help of Asmo. Was it successful? Yes. But he also had to face some rude reality. I hope it’s not headcanon but canon but isn’t Solomon known for having multiple partners? Well especially in the past but one night stands are still presents from time to time. Is it a deal breaker for you? Possibly. That’s why he tries to ‘rectify’ this image before being blunter about his feelings. Every morning he’ll bring you a latte with a pastry. He didn’t make them don’t worry. Then he’ll experiment and make you scented candles. Hell he’ll even bring you safe exotic fruits from the devildom that he accidentally got from a client. Now unless you are me, yes I am that obvious to flirting, it’s easy to guess what’s going on in his mind. Someone spending time and energy into finding a solution for your eternally cold feet outside of your birthday can’t pretend that he only has friendly intentions. I guess in the end you won your rivalry, as he was forced to admit defeat and confess to you after taking you to a unique spot in the forest.

Solomon is a very casual boyfriend. His love language is through actions most of the time as you saw in the courting phase. He let you do whatever you want and is just here to give you advice when you want them. He knows you can take care of yourself, but it happens that he worries if he feels like you’re going somewhere unsafe. That’s why Solomon insisted on making things for you to carry, one of them being a teleportation spell. It’s totally not because your sense of direction is comparable to Zoro. He does try to keep you in the loop of whatever he’s doing unless he promised confidentiality to the other party. Doesn’t mean he won’t gossip to you about it later. Solomon is your n2 source of gossip. The first being Asmo.

You two are independent but affectionate. Neither of you are clingy, but physical touch is sacred, leaning against each other while studying, fingers brushing when passing notes, playful tugs on his sleeve when you want his attention or touching him with your cold hands/feet when cuddling. One day he decided to avenge his poor body who gets struck with cold limbs and accidentally froze a part of your room. Guess who got basically a world tour as compensation? Speaking of travel, you two often travel spontaneously. He does have access to multiple realms. Why not take advantage of it? Frankly every day with him is an adventure, but he tries to give you a safe calm space at the end of the day to rest. That’s why you two have a lot of luxury self-care nights. Face masks, silk robes, fancy drinks it’s the art of indulgence. One that he’s experienced in thanks to good ol Asmo. He also lets you dress him up. He lets you play stylist, and while he claims to be indifferent, you’ve definitely caught him admiring himself in the mirror after you’re done.

In the end a relationship with him is full of adventures and friendly competition, you two often if not always play to win but at the end of the day it doesn’t affect your relationship at all. You push each other, challenge each other, but always respect one another. He lives for your fire, and you secretly enjoy how effortlessly he keeps up. You both thrive in chaos. Whether it’s an impulsive adventure, a wild magic experiment, or just stirring up drama for fun, life is never boring. You two have a very playful dynamic, it seems like your common love language is banter! But neither of you ever crossed the line and you two just love when the other fights back. Once you wanted to do ‘loser has to cook’ but remembered his catastrophic skills in the kitchen…

Solomon really opening up to you will take a lot of time because he’s immortal and you’re not. In the end he does it because fuck it, he can’t live with regrets. He wants to be selfish. Once he does, you’re the only one who can see through his masks.Others may find him enigmatic, but you know when he’s holding back, when his usual smirk is just a front. And while you don’t pry, he knows he can always come to you. And that’s something he doesn’t know how he’ll do without.

[a-certain-romance]

Characters/Ships: Arlecchino, Ei, Miko, & Ningguang x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, strap ons (Arlecchino), cockwarming (Arlecchino), crying (Miko), Face-sitting (Ei), Dom reader (Ei), mention of toys (Ningguang)

A/N: Oh sweetie, my dignity died at my first post. I had a lot of fun with this one, I tilted the scale between fluff and smut with these 4. Ik one or two might be a bit overused so I tried to add a little something extra to ones I considered to be obvious to their character

- Sometimes she’ll open that big, fluffy coat of her’s and embrace your body against hers for more warmth. She normally does this when no one is around. But if someone stumbles upon this, her glare will scare off any unnecessary gossip

- Speaking of, Arlecchino is very protective of you. Being in this relationship is not only dangerous for her but for you as well. If you aren’t experienced already, she might teach you a few basic maneuvers to protect yourself. She knows it wouldn’t be enough to ensure your safety, but it helps put her mind at ease. No one would ever dare to cross you and get away with it. Arlecchino is well equipped with the resources to make someone “mysteriously disappear” if needed.

- Many of your dates might involve the arts in some way or another. Seeing an opera, walking through an art gallery, maybe you can convince her to stand still for a caricature.

- Arlecchino likes having you on her lap. She’d tell you to stop squirming when you’re cockwarming her strap as she’s looking over documents. It’s the perfect position for it, no one will ever notice how deep she’s buried into your cute cunt. Just make sure to keep you voice down.

- Ei is extremely touch starved. Please hold her when you can! She loves having her hands on you whenever you allow it. Praise her while you’re at it too. Tell her how much you love the way she trembles when she’s grinding on your face, whimpering how “it’s too much” for her to handle.

- Ei’s dominant side starts to show up more as the relationship progresses. But when you’re first exploring each other, she’s pure putty in your hands. She loves it when you take the lead. It’s so cute how obedient Ei is for you: spreading her legs without a second thought, offering up her body for you to tease, moaning near your ear all the dirty things she wants you to do to her.

- I can imagine Ei prefers slow and sensual sex over the fast and rough kind. Ei’s divinity shapes her perspective of time; when she’s with you, she truly believes she has all the time in the world. Nothing will have to feel rushed or forced (unless you’re into that, to which case she might accommodate). That being said, she isn’t the biggest fan of quickies.

- She enjoys cuddling with you in her fox form more than she lets on. If you scratch or rub Miko in her favorite spots, she’ll reward you with content purring. Care for her gently though. Being too rough will make her squirm around and move to a different spot. She’d nip at your fingers any time you would try to get them close to her fur and would refuse to lay anywhere near you out of pettiness. Worse case scenario, Miko would transform out of her form. So try to avoid putting her in a grumpy state.

- She always wears a perfume she thinks you would like. She experiments with different kinds and uses it as an excuse to be closer to you. Miko tends to spray it on her neck so you have no choice but to lean in real close to her.

- You know this picture? :

- Miko would do that. Always putting waterproof mascara/eyeliner on you so it doesn’t run down your cheeks when you cry from her sweet torment. She’d use you as a test subject. Miko’s stuck between to lipstick shades? Let her mark up your neck to see what will leave the better impression. You’ll sit still for her, won’t you?

- You are a breath of fresh air. When Ningguang’s with you, she’s no longer the Tianquen buried under a thousand responsibilities. You’re her favorite stress relief. Your presence alone makes Ningguang unclench her jaw and relax her posture. Whether it’s a quiet night in, or a loud one, you are enough to keep her sane.

- Ningguang loves doing mundane things with you. Yeah, she has 3 secretaries who have her covered in almost all aspects of life. But whenever she can, she loves carving out time to cook a meal with you. She loves taking walks around nearby mountain ranges where it’s more secluded. Simply cuddling with you after a weary day makes her heart melt.

- Ningguang likes sending you gifts. As the Tianquen of Liyue, she won’t always be present. But that doesn’t mean you’ve ever left her mind. Every time she feels that same ache from your absence, she’ll send flowers with a heartfelt card written with the finest stationary. All the pieces of jewelry she sends for you is not only hand crafted, but the jewels specifically hold different types of meanings.

- She seems like the experimental type. With all that money, why not invest in pleasure? She’ll try anything once. That includes buying you anything you’re interested in. But if you prefer the more vanilla route, she’s happy to oblige and leave the kinky stuff behind for you. Anything to keep you moaning her name.

[otakusheep15]

Hi hi hiii! An here for the trade! Please no rook or trey or anyone from savanaclaw

She/her, Gemini, Intp, 5w4

Asexual/heteromantic

Chaotic Good

Appearance: 164cm. Brown wavy hair, dark Brown eyes. Curvy body I guess? I'm pale with visible beauty marks like on my lips. I wear glasses/sunglasses. I've been described as cute and a tease because I always bite my lips out of habit lol. I often have a tired/annoyed expression or a smile. I wear comfy clothes and even pj outside. Or cliché villain clothes, no in between. I try to wear gloves to stop myself from bitting my nails. I guess I am slightly overweight? 80kg due to medical reasons and a weird metabolism, plus I have heavy bones

About me:

I appear as cold and very sarcastic. But I can be charismatic when I want. I'm always polite unless I dislike you (you'll know it because I become passive agressive). How I act depends on how you act with me, unless I'm in a bad mood. In that case I isolate to not be too mean. I act flirty around my friends and is known for sometimes playing with hearts (I'm oblivious to it). I'm petty and can go very far out of spite or vengeance. I curse a lot and will call you out on your bullshit with no issue no matter who you are. Did I loose people over this? Yes.

I'm moody and not a morning person AT ALL. I'm brutally honest and it affected some friendships because people sometimes won't dare to approach me. I'm also socially obvious to a lot of things. I'm very curious and have a short attention span.

Getting along with me is easy peasy. As long as you're not a hypocrite we will get along. Now getting to know me is....nearly impossible. No friend of mine has managed to make me spill my problems even though they share theirs and I help them out. Even when I think I am sharing I am apparently not? My trust issues issues are too important for that lol. I don't open up and bottle my feelings all the time till I shut down or explode. I isolate a lot when I have problems or I'm just thinking (I love daydreaming). I'm rebellious but also a smooth talker. My friends know I have good intentions and would never wrong an innocent person. I'm the smart but reckless friend cuz I'll always hype up bad ideas for fun. I can be a bit naïve, I often assume that people don’t have a hidden agenda and it caused me problems in the past because spoiler alert they do! Now we all have some kind of hidden agenda but if I am in your team and you try to pull one over me…No mercy. I have morbid curiosity and shared dubious experimental ideas....Yes I am the type that can eat and look at a crime scene. I'm more logical than emotional. I'm ambitious and can't stand my own failure. But I'm also lazy and a procrastinator which is a terrible combo. I'm always willing to debate and learn new things because knowledge is very important to me. I'm creative and innovative, I know when to get to business. I'm very competitive and try to hide it. Yeah I have an ego, so what? if you don't have a solid argument with me, I'll destroy you.

Despite that, I joke a lot and never take anything seriously. It happens that I underestimate people. I'm a big tease and love to rile up people and see them get angry. I subtly insult people when they piss me off.

Because of that, I get very lonely and I'm misunderstood. I can handle being alone quite well since most of my friends betrayed me. Including a very close one who encouraged me to open up for years...and then they wonder why I have trust issues (if you want to confess just do it why wait years and then be like I don’t believe in boy girls friendships). I don't recognize my own feelings and mask that pretty well as it fools everyone. I don't consider myself to be a good person for some reasons. I envy easily and get annoyed easily because I want to succeed above all lol. Oh and I love money. I like gifting my friends and receiving gifts.

Hobbies:

Reading (mystery, thriller, fantasy), true crime, video games, drawing, baking (I’m quite good at it. It started mostly by being non satisfied over local bakeries qualities or prices), fighting sports (sparing and shooting), learning, daydreaming. I love space and mad scientists stories. My aesthetic is definitely related to those subjects as well as the sea and stars.I used to write poetry. I enjoy gacha games…just for the gamba part and lore

Likes:

Cats, sweet foods, plushies, hoodies, gossip (putting those reddit stories in the background), cheese, red flags, puzzles, true crime, juicy parts of history, mythology, sleeping or just lying in bed. I lowkey likes organizing BUT my room is very messy Dislikes:

I am thalassophobic, dogs, crowded places, someone that’s forceful, bullying, foods that have a lot of oily sauce…and if it’s deep fried but has too much oil. Being bored.

I hate owing something to someone. While yes I deal around and ask for favors I always repay in equal or more value. I’ll scam you if you scam me tho….I always have receipts or pictures

In a relationship:

I'm the chillest person. I don't get jealous or clingy. You can do whatever you want. I'm always here to give you advices because helping you out, giving you my time and giving you gifts is my love langage. It bothered my last boyfriend because he thought I wasn't emotionally present and isolated a lot (He knew what he was getting into. Then He cheated). I love cuddles but I'll take time to accept physical touch. I enjoy a partner that can keep up with me and be patient and honest because I value honesty in their feelings. I don’t care if they hide things, we all do, as long as it’s not gonna hurt me or us in the long run. Yes I like red flags and a friend called me a beige flag whatever it means. I enjoy stealing clothes and would prefer a taller partner. Not gonna lie…a little possessive/protective is cute. Make me feel wanted.

I also love receiving gifts because uh...I grew up with them validating love. I hate * cowardly people. I don't fall first and don't make the first move. Worse, there’s a high chance I say yes but will give it a period to see if I can develop feelings. I will be honest about my partner over this.

Also, due to exes I’d rather have someone taller than me. And someone smart...

I speak Arabic, French and English. I'm an only child.

Reading your description, I immediately had a few people in mind. I thought about Lilia, but since you wanted someone taller, I excluded him. Floyd seemed like a good match, but I think you two would clash more often than not. I was actually very close to choosing Ace, but just before I started writing, another person came to mind, and I found that I liked him a lot better as your match. 

In the end, I decided that your perfect match would be Vil. 

Vil is not very sarcastic, but he is quite cold as well. He can definitely be polite, but only if he thinks you deserve it (or if he has to). His attitude is very dependent on how others treat him, so the two of you definitely have that in common. Vil isn’t particularly flirty with just anyone, but he can be if he’s interested in you, or if he’s close with someone, like Rook. Vil is practically the queen of revenge. He’s classy and meticulous with it, except for when he’s really mad, like the incident in Book 5. He doesn’t curse often, and he might chastise you for it on occasion, but he is equally as likely to call someone out on their bullshit. He doesn’t care too much about losing someone over this, as they clearly weren’t worth it if they can’t handle the truth. 

Vil is the total opposite of you when it comes to being a morning person. He wakes up early, mostly so he can begin his morning routine. He’d be a bit upset about you sleeping in, but if you genuinely don’t like being woken up, he’ll let you sleep. He might try to get you into a routine later in your relationship, but he would never push you if it’s not something you want. Vil also tends to be brutally honest, especially with people he doesn’t like. That being said, his honesty is often presented as proper and formal, as if he is a queen insulting a court jester. 

It’s alright if you have a short attention span. Vil will definitely help you if it’s something you want to work on, but it’s certainly not a deal-breaker for him if you don’t care. He has to deal with people (*cough* Epel *cough*) having short attention spans all the time, so it’s no issue for him. He also likes that you’re curious, as he is knowledgeable about a wide variety of topics, and he’s always willing to learn more as well. 

I think you and Vil would get along well overall. He is definitely the type that is hard to open up around at first, but if he likes you, even as a friend, he’s actually very nice. He’s not one to pressure you into opening up, choosing to let you do it on your own time. He’s kind of the same in that regard, often choosing to keep up a mask until he’s comfortable. A lot of that does ceom from his celebrity status, but he’s also just a closed-off person in general. It’s okay if you have trust issues, as Vil does as well. That’s something the two of you could work on together as your relationship progresses. Of course, if you’re about to explode, Vil would like to help you, but he understands that it can be hard to open up, especially if it’s not something you’re used to doing. He’d try to prevent you from isolating if he knew you were having problems, but he’s also good at giving you your space to breathe, especially if you just want to think. 

Normally, Vil isn’t too fond of rebelliousness, but I think he’d make an exception for you. Even if he won’t admit it, he is very fond of Epel, and in a way, your rebelliousness reminds Vil of Epel. He feels a sort-of exasperated fondness for your rebellious chaos, but he’d never say it out loud. What he will say is that he does appreciate the fact that you would never wrong someone who doesn’t deserve it, as he feels the same way. 

It’s okay if you’re a bit naive, as Vil has plenty of experience with people who have hidden agendas. Unfortunately, fame comes with consequences, and those types of people tend to be one of them. If he senses someone has an agenda involving you, he’ll be quick to point it out to you. He’s also very pro-revenge, and will absolutely help you in any revenge plots you scheme up. 

This is leaning a bit toward headcanon territory, but I think Vil would enjoy true crime to a certain extent. He’s not squemish or anything, and he’s very difficult to disturb. He isn’t as into it as you are, but he has no problem sitting down and listening to you talk about your interests, and he even digs into it a bit himself so that he can contribute more to conversations on the topic. 

Vil also tends to be on the more logical side of things, so you have a similarity there as well. He is very ambitious, and failure sometimes causes him to spiral, as seen in Book 5. He is not lazy or a procrastinator, and that is something he will chastise you about on a regular basis. He’s not pushy on a lot of things, but he will be pushy about making you do your work, especially since he knows how ambitious you are. 

You two have debates all the time. It’s never very serious, as most of them are over trivial matters, but it’s still something that happens regularly. Like you, he’s very creative and innovative, as shown by his contributions to the Film Studies club. The two of you could be good collaborators as long as you’re both invested and don’t butt heads. Speaking of which, Vil tends to be competitive as well, which could cause an issue if you aren’t careful. Relationships are never perfect, and this would be your biggest relationship flaw. Sometimes, the two of you clash, and since you’re both competitive, neither of you are willing to compromise. Fortunately, Vil is also a good communicator, so you’re able to work through it most of the time. Just be careful not to let your competitiveness get the better of you. Still, Vil does appreciate that you have an ego, as he does as well. He has a hard time dealing with pushovers. 

Another issue, albiet a smaller one, is that you don’t take anything seriously. You and Vil would definitely clash in that regard, which could cause problems. He would get upset if you aren’t taking something seriously, especially if it’s something important to him. It’s a habit he’ll try to fix in you, which could also cause some conflict if that isn’t something you want. Vil can also be quite the tease, but he doesn’t like when people try to rile him up. It’s hard to make him genuinely angry, but he will get annoyed if you push him too far. That being said, as long as you both try to fix these issues and there’s proper communication between you, it shouldn’t be too bad overall. 

With Vil, you won’t be misunderstood. Even if he doesn’t fully understand a specific trait or hobby of yours, he does his best to understand every part of you. He studies up on every hobby and interest you have, and he’s more than happy to ask you questions about the things you enjoy. He would never lead you on in any way, and he would have no reason to betray you. If he has any intentions, he’ll just tell you like it is. 

I think your mask would come off with time and with Vil’s help. He’s patient and understanding, willing to wait as long as it takes for you to open up. He makes you feel comfortable and relaxed, and he’s always willing to listen to you if you need to talk. He would never consider you a bad person, just someone who is flawed. Everyone has their flaws, and he is no exception. Like you, he is rather envious and cares about success. This is another thing the two of you can work on together, helping each other become better. 

As a side note, Vil has so, so much money, and he has no problem letting you use it. Of course, he’s a believer in moderation, but he also loves spoiling you, so he would definitely go against his own rules for you in that regard. 

As for your dorm, I think you’d fit well in Diasomnia. Most of the students are elusive and mysterious, and it’s pretty quiet overall. Most other students leave you alone, allowing you to stick to yourself. The students within Diasmonia are pretty close-knit, however, so you’ll still have a solid community of like-minded yet diverse people. I think you’d get along well with people like Malleus and Lilia as friends. 

You and Vil have the best chance of meeting in class. He finds you interesting, and unlike a lot of other students, he’s not particularly scared of those in Diasomnia. He would approach you first, and I think a friendship would be quick to form. On the surface, you two are very similar, so it’s easy to get along. As you get closer, small bits and pieces of his mask begin to crack, and yours would do the same. Deeper complexities would begin to show on both sides, and your bond would deepen as well. 

He would confess first, as he is very confident in himself and his abilities to charm you. Your relationship would be very chill overall. He is a bit on the clinger side, but it’s not overbearing at all. He’s also not very jealous, as he knows very few people can compare to him. Your love languages match up well, as he also enjoys gift-giving and quality time. Physical touch is nice to him, but he also doesn’t mind if you need time to warm up to the idea. He’s a bit touchy, sometimes enjoying hand-holding or keeping his arm wrapped around you, but if it makes you uncomfortable, he has no problem stopping. He also has no issues with keeping up with you, and he values patience and honesty as well. He would never rush you into anything, and he’ll let you know exactly what’s on his mind. Luckily for you, Vil is very tall, and he has no problem letting you steal his clothes. While he isn’t jealous, he can be possessive, especially if he takes you to high-end events because of his job. He has his arm around your waist at all times, leading you through crowds and glaring at anyone who tries to get too personal with you. 

Overall, your relationship is complex and personal. The two of you would definitely have some issues to work out, but Vil is always patient and supportive. He will stick by you no matter what, and communication is a constant for both of you. He is good at expressing his feelings for you, and he would never make you feel unloved or lonely. It’s a sweet, slow-burn relationship that allows for both of you to grow as both people and a couple.

Rules for matchups