#unless someone has made a call out post about me lmao

[itwasmagic]

i’ve lost about 20 followers over the last couple of days (not counting spam bots i’ve blocked) does anyone know if tumblr is doing some kind of purge?

[n3ptoonz]

BEGGING you to make more sub mk men content 😭 they're always dom in all the other hc's and it's refreshing to see something that's my cup of tea lol

oh? like this? throws this post behind me like a bouquet toss earthrealm guys here

mk1 hcs: how the outworld guys react to you riding them

y'all sure do love headcanons LMFAOO

i always try my best for most of the outworld cast cause i'm truly an earthrealm girly, but i got yall. yall really challenge me 😵‍💫

Shang Tsung

This sly mf. He thought when you suggested riding, he'd be the one watching you writhe, but it's quite the opposite. Little did you know it was all an act. A fib; fairytale. He wants power, of course, but in the bedroom it's entirely different

Nothing will get him to submit fast than treating him like a common harlot. He's in desperate need of hair pulling, degradation, maybe even act like you're trying to kill him. He's into that shit! He's an aggressive man, so he should be treated as such

I'm talking fully dog this man out while you ride him. It'll drive him mad and make him crave it. Hell, slap him around and call him names and his gasps, groans, and deep whimpers will clear the air in no time! If you add small weapons to the mix or like a role play thing it's ON

He's literally the meme "don't bully me i'll cum" so do with that what you will!

Rain

Rain sexy ass...OOF. That smug "i am a demigod" attitude is punted out the window when you ride him. One single stroke of his hair and a caress of the jaw and just like that he's a slut!

Give him praises. He wouldn't handle degradation too well. On the outside he appears to have his shit together and doesn't have a care in the world about anybody else but his studies (and you), but he likes to be taken care of

If you want to be rougher or if he asks you to, really just pull his hair/give him love bites. idk it might just be me but i just wanna bite him sooo we're gonna say he likes bites! He's also super handsy but mostly when he's close

He's not very vocal but when he is i can see him as the kinda man that like...purrs, if that makes sense? If it don't i say he's a grunter and from groan city: population him

Reiko

Reiko has a hard time being submissive, but you just make it a little easier for him. You kinda have to coax him into it before every time you get intimate because he's made it clear he can do both and wants to try submitting more to the person he loves

It was your suggestion after a long time away for a mission. Poor dude was stressed da hell out! He's like Rain, a sucker for praise. Now that i'm really picturing it he'd prob be down to smother his face into your chest cause like, that's hot to him

When he's feeling particularly spicy definitely tie him down so he can't pull free no matter how much brute strength he uses. Hold his face and never break eye contact, he's all yours! If you call him any name that has the word "strong" in it he's like puddy in your hands

Prime grunt man here. He ain't whimpering unless you deny him of something, even then it goes from a coarse tone to soft

General Shao

Siiggghhhh 🙄 Shao likes the riding position the most. That's all thanks for coming to my Ted talk

LOL JUST KIDDING😹 He would appear like he's incapable of submission but like, this is YOU we're talking about. And he'd do anything for you. Literally.

A little birdy told me he loves when you grab his horns. Grab his horns. Grab them and make him look at you. This unbreakable wall of man yearns to be conquered by someone like you. Someone who dared to challenge him and never back down? By the Gods he has a breeding knk whether you can have kids or not. oh yeah, he'd beg. plead. he's gasping for air like pls just don't stop riding him LMAO he needs his mind off taking the throne for a few hours

whimpering little bitch which eventually turn into growls and grunts. takes a bow

Reptile

Syzoth is so subby I literally cannot picture him dominating a soul. Ashrah got that man on hold fr but anyway this about you

Typa dude to tear up when you ride him. You just look so damn good, and you make him feel so damn good. Dizzy eyes that he can barely keep open; I feel like he'd go brain numb from how fast he feels pleasure

I'm talking like because he's not originally human he's more sensitive. Now hear me out guys...two dicks....AHEM. DONT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!! Both his dicks are very sensitive OHHHHHHHHH Reduce him to a sobbing, stuttering, gasping, mess. He needs it, wants it, loves it. It's up to you if you'd ride him in his og form ya nasty. He'd also have a tendency to leave bite marks on you like your chest, neck, and shoulders

Mister whimper over here there's nothing else he does but whimper and cry jesus almighty somebody give this man a HUG (hug him while you fuck him dumb/busts)

Havik

Banging my head against the wall rn lemme tap in...ok we here let's go.

Another kombatant who peruses power, but also very much attracted to it. He definitely likes to be dominated. He'd be into some real kinky shit too i know it. Literally all the above he don't wanna think about SHIT

He would thoroughly enjoy being completely helpless at your disposal as you ride him. He likes degradation more than praises but if you do give him the kind of praise that inflates his already massive ego. shoot down his arrogance while also maintaining it he fucking lives for it. he likes being choked or slapped too keep that in mind

This bitch growls and that's it. bro ain't got the lips to really make different sounds LMAO?? get yo fuckin dog bitch!!!

Baraka

You might be insane but we love that haha...! Monster fucker certificate checked at the door i understand i do

Absolutely no degradation here DO NOT!! Mf might start crying or give a monologue either way, steer clear. Be nice to him!!

He likes to be held, and he likes holding his partner. If this was confident Baraka from the previous timeline I'd say he likes fast and crazy over slow and romantic but that's not the case. Be immersed and in the moment with him, he clings onto the human interactions he got stripped from him 😞

Growls but that's mostly bc he deadass don't have lips either LMFAO😭

a/n: tearing my skin off rn I DID IT GUYS I DID IT TELL ME IM GREAT😎author likes praise too.

[ohbabydollie]

omg so i’m new here but i currently have brainrot for 2 things

1) being a famous celebrity (sortaaaa like the famous streamer one but more famous) where ur like, an actress or model, things like that. and having a semi-public relationship with schlatt where you’ll be spotted holding hands on occasion, or on a red carpet but not really publicly discussing your relationship (even though everyone knows you’re together), and everyone is either super happy and ships the ever loving shit out of you, or they clown on you a bit and make “who’s punching up” videos and odd comments, and just not giving a fuck and being happy together but kinda wanting to be viewed like any other couple and not just another famous couple to be analyzed. (also similar to mutual break up but you don’t care about hate and stay together)

AND

2) schlatt made a joke about having his cock out in the latest chuckle sandwich episode and….. giving him head under his desk when he films….. for some things, like recordings where he’s not showing his face, it’s easy, but when he has his face out, it’s a bit more challenging. he has to restrain the urge to watch you and moan SOOO bad…. that’s all.

LMAO NONNIE THE FIRST ONE, I HAD TOO

okay, let’s say you’re a celebrity that is agreed by men, women, etc. to be absolutely stunning

so many people that love you, call you their wife, etc.

you are an absolute style icon, wearing pieces made for you to exclusive red carpet events

even people who hate you have to agree you’ve got a great style in clothes and makeup and yes, you’re iconic, at least a little

then somehow you make your way to the youtube community

people assume from you being so open and sweet and social is how you find yourself starring in a project directed by Ted Nivison

you’re so excited for it, interacting with other creators, etc.

Jschlatt knows of you, but thinks you’re probably like all those LA stuck up influencers that managed to make enough connections to get what you wanted

but when he has his first interaction with you on twitter??

he’s taking the chance to flirt with you publicly

in any way shape or form

and is so public about his crush on you to the point everyone is convinced he runs a stan account for you

you both do get closer behind the scenes but don’t tell much people about it

especially considering his jokes that people love taking seriously and out of context

you both are pretty secretive about it, super down low about it until the day he decides to pay for your nails

a small j is on the underside of your ring finger as to not show it off too much

it can’t even be seen unless it’s up close

then someone points it out on twitter in a selfie

you say it was dirt, but they know what they saw

then the paparazzi comes in and takes a photo that goes viral of you in sweats and a suspiciously familiar wilson hoodie

you say it a coincidence over and over again but the evidence is undeniable when you post multiple selfies in familiar hoodies that look just a little too large for you

small scratches and bite marks on your arms but you never mentioned getting a cat

then you appear in a chuckle sandwich interview

but the vibe is different in that video compared to the rest with guests

schlatt is polite??? and listening to you??

he looks at you with so much affection

yeah, your team does damage control and quickly

claiming that you’re currently single and focused on your career

then you fuck up on your own

a misclick on a story made for your close friends of you kissing your boyfriend’s cheek as he has the biggest smile ever plastered on his face

oh well, too late to deny anymore

so you don’t say anything until your next red carpet event where he’s essentially your accessory

like arm candy and dressed to match you

then everyone definitely knows

and let me tell you, some stans are sobbing

lots of “i waited 3 1/2 years, white man did it in one week” from fans and other celebrities

punching the air too

lots of crying and audios after they realize you’re dating him fr fr and not them

people definitely make memes out of it

goddess s/o and bf they probably found digging around in the trash and probably has rabies

yk that one meme of shining armor and princess cadence?

yeah, that + other attractive partner and their silly bf

so so so many of those “do you think we’re…in another universe?” slides

they clip any time he talks about you and use it for edits

editing characters you play with c! schlatt (it’s giving jack frost x elsa)

they love the two of you and seriously cannot get enough

but they really are punching the air when he marries you and when he gets you pregnant (if applicable)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

lmao buck didnt ditch tommy last episode, he just made a pit stop before going to spend the night with tommy, like do you think he spent the whole night there? and yeah, this episode, if he does leave tommy to go help eddie, that's what friends do ?? like what do you expect him to do, just ignore his friends life completely falling apart? buck is an adult relationship and adults respect the fact that they arent always going to be no 1 first priority ALL of the time. tommy respects that, especially because eddie is actively in a spiral, and honestly it's really refreshing to see such a healthy depiction of the balance between romantic/platonic relationships. i mean how many times have other couples been interrupted by similar emergencies, this is literally the emergency show like. yeah obviously when there is an emergency, the characters are going to drop everything and go to it. I swear you people have never had adult relationships, romantic or platonic, because you see a normal healthy relationship and are incapable of enjoying it. "not anti bi buck, just anti tommy kinard" not anti bi buck, just anti any relationship buck has with a man that isn't eddie

wow what did i say?? that was quick!

if you think buck left eddie’s house after hearing eddie say the words “yeah me too” in reference to being worried about him, then you do not know buck at all.

also when have we seen tommy respecting anything with buck? you all live in these made up scenarios that lou blabs on cameo when in reality all we have seen is tommy constantly be dismissive towards buck unless buck is actively paying sole attention to him. that is not a perfect and healthy relationship.

tommy is constantly speaking down to buck, calling him “kid” and refusing to call buck by the name he chose for himself. that is not the sign of someone who cares about buck to me.

as for being against any relationship buck is in with s man…. give me a man who actually shows that he gives a flying fuck about buck. give me a man who isn’t constantly being condescending and rude. give me a man who’s whole backstory wasn’t as a tool to put hen and chimney through hell at the 118. if buck was dating literally any other guy i wouldn’t be anywhere near as fed up with this plotline; but the fact of the matter is we have BARELY seen anything between them that isn’t tommy being a dick to buck unless buck is kissing him. that doesn’t read as a positive and healthy relationship to me. you all claim to care about buck so much, but then actively defend everything tommy does that is rude and condescending to buck as if buck somehow deserves it.

i am capable of enjoying normal healthy adult relationships because i have watched this show for seven years. i have seen these characters drop things for emergencies. i have picked up on the patterns they have laid down in previous storylines. i have experience working in filmmaking and know how to read into things.

normally i look at these asks and laugh because i don’t like to give a platform to people like you who hide begind anon to try and make buddie shippers out to be monsters but the fact that that post hasn’t even been up for ten minutes and you already felt the need to type a whole anon ask about how wrong i am when none of what you’ve pointed out has any canonical evidence of living in the truth? i have to laugh.

the block button is free. filtering out the anti tags is free. if you’re one of my followers…. when have i ever posted anything that would make you think i was pro tommy in any way that got you to follow me in the first place?

since you sent the ask on anon and i have no way of doing it myself, i invite you to go to my page and press the block button… the anti tags exist for a reason and if you don’t wanna see anti tommy content, either filter out the tags or block my blog. simple as that.

[xx-slug-xx]

I have to correct myself, someone posted “I don’t think AI fics should be allowed on ao3” which garnered a lot of attention, then came the antis crying “but what about racism, misogyny, cp etc, why is AI your only problem?!”

Also I question myself WHERE antis find the alleged material that’s written about real minors? I’ve been using ao3 for many many years and have never encountered it

This reminds me though. I accidentally read halfway through a fic before realizing it was AI. Thought it was just a poorly written fic, but quickly realized it was AI a bit too late once a realized the formatting was incorrect for a reason. Plot holes a plenty too. Was mad at myself for getting that far. Had to confirm by scrolling down to the bottom and finding the tell tale “The End” on the bottom lmao

Anyway, back to the topic at hand lol

AI is bad because it directly extorts the works of artists. Fiction can be a means of projecting someone’s harmful opinions, but it’s still just fiction. AI usually takes the writing of real writers works and pumps it out like its factory made candy. Racism is bad because it is harmful to people in the real world. If someone is writing a fanfic that contains reflections of their bigotry, yeah it hurts that someone has those opinions. But it’s that real persons real life options that hurt people, not the fiction by itself. You can write fics that contain bigotry, but that also doesn’t mean someone is a bigot just because it contains those elements.

And yeah, I have NEVER seen CSEM (they need to stop calling fanfiction “CP” its so gross) (its also insanity illegal to post real CSEM so they aren’t finding that either) or bigoted fics (unless you count those “edgy” joke fics from like the 2010s lol). Also, ao3 still has policy’s directly involving spreading REAL hate towards people. Like most places on the internet, you can report people for being racist, homophobic, transphobic, or hateful towards any minority.

[waitmyturtles]

Last Twilight, episode 1: reflections

TW: suicide

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT! Aof Noppharnach began our year with Moonlight Chicken; interjected it with Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, and bookends it with Last Twilight. I've got my cha yen ready (not too sweet), here we go, Last Twilight, episode 1.

Some quick notes on random stuff first, then themes I'm picking up on:

1) Yes, we had to have Doc Jimmy start a new series with a new fight, huh (and always in these bowling shirt/jackets, too)

2) Ajahn Pichai with the gold chain, sheeeet! (Listen. It's my OGMMTVC Bad Buddy Meta Month. Just about everyone working on this show on the screenwriting and directing team are BBS alums. The comparisons will be unavoidable!)

3) Why do I know Sea Tawinan? It’s not because I watched Vice Versa (I stayed away), but because he was great in a small role in 55:15 Never Too Late, AND, more importantly, homeboy wore an off-shoulder Fendi sweater WITH a blazer (CLAP EMOJIS) to some GMMTV event, which warmed my couture cockles. Much respect for the taste! (Poor @lurkingshan has had to literally hear about my fashion obsession with this get-up MULTIPLE TIMES, sorry Shan, palms together!)

4) Of the few episodes of Midnight Museum and UMG that I watched earlier this year, I was not impressed with Namtan Tipnaree, but I appreciate that she's starting off quite strong and moodily here. (Also, UMG's script did literally no human being any justice.)

@twig-tea has gathered the ragged and burnt out (oh, is that just me, lmao) Ephemerality Squad from the Only Friends meta circle to join them in a Last Twilight Liminality.... what should we call ourselves, the Liminality League? The Liminality Legion? Someone choose! Anyway, I am super down, and ready to start chewing on some themes. Twig captured the big theme of liminality, of time purgatory, and I totally agree with what you've gotten down in your post, Twig.

In the preview episode for this series, Before Last Twilight, we learn that Day has 180 days -- six months -- of vision left. At the same time, Mhok has 180 days -- six months -- to earn enough money to buy back his late sister's car.

In addition to liminality/time purgatory (this is only my coinage, btw, a way in which I can understand the moment in life this show is capturing), we clearly have a theme of cars and movement. Mhok is a mechanic. He wants to keep his late sister's car. The Bimmer that Night is driving is Day's car. Mhok has to get Day home on the back of a motorcycle as Night had to drive away while Day was wandering in the middle of the road. A car can move backwards only very temporarily, and will HAVE to move forwards at any point in time in order to get to another location (..... unless you're a driver from New Jersey, ayooo!). The car belonging to the late Rung is very much in purgatory at the moment.

We have a theme of sibling rivalry between Day and Night. Day was the success of the family, knows it, and hangs it over Night's head. And we have a theme of opposites. Day, Night, blind, seeing. I can play badminton, I cannot play badminton.

(BY THE WAY! We know we'll be reading more into badminton, AND in the rivalry of Day and Night, AND in the rivalry of Sea and Mark in this series, yes? Mark Pakin and Sea Tawinan are both national-level Thai badminton players who chose acting as their careers. They're facing off in some GMMTV BL sports tournament at the end of the year. I hope it's slightly aggressive! In Before Last Twilight, Sea actually made reference to his rivalry with Mark. Ooooh, TESTY!)

While I'm watching closely the tension between Day and Night, I'm also watching for the stress and pressure that caring for Day will put on Mhok, as well as Night and his and Day's mother. As many of us are watching Last Twilight very closely for accuracy and authenticity in reflecting the experience of a disabled person in an unaccommodating environment; I'm also looking to this show to hopefully capture stories of caregiver stress, which is an incredibly real and important phenomenon (relevant articles here and here).

As I always, always harken to in my posts: behavioral change is very real, and very difficult -- especially when behavioral change is forced upon an individual AND/OR a group, all of which contain very different emotional constructions. Day and Night's forced behavioral change, based on Day's vision condition, has very naturally and automatically caused stress in the group dynamic of Day's family system, as we saw in the outburst in Day's car. I wonder how Mhok will deal with that stress, and how he'll manage his own stress vis à vis caring for Day.

Last theme for now, and then some concluding thoughts. Mhok's emotional distance from his sister's suicide. He can't bring himself to connect with it directly.

I'm eating this up. It's certainly Mhok's way of grieving at the moment. He's also talking with his ex-girlfriend in both of these scenes. There's emotional space between him and Rung, between him and Porjai. And certainly there's simmering and unresolved anger as well -- honestly, the whole emotional circle. But Mhok, at this point, is not toeing the line of getting close to those emotions, and is engaging with the memory of his sister with distance, which is bound to be addressed vis à vis his connection with Day.

There's a lot of anger, a lot of regret, a lot of avoidance, a lot of dancing around the honest truth. Mhok and Day are likely conduits of emotional openness and steadiness to each other; we will see how it plays out.

What do I think of JimmySea? I'm not you're average Wai hater -- I really liked Jimmy as Wai in Bad Buddy. Because I didn't watch Vice Versa, I honestly don't know what I think about him in a lead role. So I am going in REAL fresh, knowing nothing about JimmySea's chemistry, and I like what I'm seeing so far, particularly with Jimmy's emotional control. I appreciate having seen a bit of the work they did together in Before Last Twilight to get to this series premiere.

Aof has done this before: he's recognized potential in pairings (specifically in Dark Blue Kiss with TayNew and Still 2gether with BrightWin) to come up with fabulous shows. So I have trust that he knows what he's doing with JimmySea. Let's see. I really like this so far, but Only Friends did indeed burn me out to a crisp, so I'm allowing myself the slightest touch of hesitancy as I get into a new and big GMMTV show.

[tgirljessilina]

New intro post (Got tired of updating the old one)

I've been updating the same pinned post for way too long and I'm bored of it, so I'm just making a new one.

Name's Judith! You can still call me Jess if you remember that pseudonym, I don't care rofl. Still a Jessilina fangirl even now but honestly I'm a bigger fan of Jessilee (Shame that they both stopped performing :{ ) I don't think I'll ever stop liking either of them, even though its been years now.

I've been on this hellsite since 2012 and I unfortunately have no plans to leave.

I've got two Pokemon now! Good Ol' Perseus the corviknight's still here, but now I've got a Solrock too! Their name's Hylia.

Also the blinkies from my old pinned post because I'm too attached to them to get rid of them:

[MYSTERY GIFTS are ENABLED for this account!] [PELIPPER MAIL is DISABLED for this account!]

// ooc under the cut

All blinkies above were made on blinkies.cafe! Go check it out!

Hello! @act11as here again with uh. The blog that I was not planning to make! Yeah, oops!

My rotomblr hub account is @battle-subway-aftershow!

OOC posts will be green tagged as #ooc and #moth's yapping to avoid confusion, and all triggers will be tagged as #[word] tw for convenience!

The main "gimmick" of this blog is that it's not someone's new account, but instead an account that's been around for over 10 years. Feel free to pretend to be an old follower/mutual/etc, that's part of the fun!

Mod's a minor, muse is an adult. don't be weird, or die by my blade (get mocked relentlessly)

Boundaries/Guidelines:

*ALMOST ANY kind of Pokemon Irl blog can interact! Eeby deebies, sapient pokemon, evil teams, whatever! Judith will probably humor you! She's used to rotomblr weirdness.

*Self-Insert fallers, please do not interact. I personally cannot handle these kinds of blogs. Self-insert ocs are fine, but the idea of a real person on rotomblr being isekaid into Pokémon is not.

In-Character anon hate is fine! I have the right to not answer everything however, so don't expect your ask to get answered.

I dunno just don't be a dick? That's all I really have to say lmao- of course being mean ic is fine but just like, don't go too far yknow?

Organizational tags:

[name] the [pokemon] - Easy way to find posts about one of Judith's pokemon!

Judie rambles - General posting tag

From the archive - Will likely be used in the future! Since I can't create a 10+ year long posting history, "old posts" will be under this tag!

Extras:

Mystery Gifts are open! Feel free to send stuff to Judith, she loves it (and will try to send things back if its off of anon!)

Pelipper Mail, un-mail, and Malice are off! Feel free to ask her why, she definitely has a few words about it.

Musharna mail, (sending dreams) and Musharna malice (sending nightmares) are always on! Go ahead if you want to, this is really fun!

Magic anons are off, unless specified otherwise (will likely stay off forever)

[moonstruckdraws]

Sage & Luci

As said before, I want this to be a QPR & I spent a while relearning what I already knew to double check myself lol. I still find these to be so fun because of the flexibility this kind of relationship has & I'm excited to explore it.

Sage is the more physically affectionate out of the two

I just love size differences lol. Luci isn't really one to ramble unless it's to rant, but she does it with Sage. She feels like she can say anything to her & Sage will being paying attention to everything. Sage is quite the bubbly person, but often enjoys listening to people instead of speaking.

Nicknames! Luci doesn't like romantic pet names. She either cringes or feels dead inside when addressed that way. In an ask Helli made to me, I said that Luci likes drinking floral teas & then it came to me; Sage addresses Luci by whatever tea she drinks that day. I thought it was so cute!! Luci would get tea from Bao's tea shop every so often & would probably be where she & Sage meet up. On days that Sage is either late or days Luci comes into the tea shop without planning on meeting up, I think it'd be funny if Sage just bursts into the shop to interrogate Bao on what tea Luci drank that day lmao.

Sage is gloooowing. I just wanted more color on the page lol. But moths are attracted to light, so when Luci learned Sage is bioluminescent, she was beyond excited & thought it was so cool. Seeing the colors & brightness made Luci come up with nicknames for Sage. She calls her a nightlight, at first in a joking manner before it stuck.

I think it'd be best to talk about Luci's view & opinions of romance, and then her & Sage's partnership so imma do that-

I don't believe I've said this fun fact yet, but Luci watches romance shows & movies practically constantly. If someone wants to watch anything romance, Luci will have a recommendation. She started watching romance because of the relationships around her. I think it's not a secret that Luci is friendless & isn't exactly the best at socializing. Her interactions with people or reselling/buying others' stuff, shouting at said customers when they tick her off, or hating people (cough Pico & Todd cough). The only time she gets along with others is during DIGG concerts (another fun fact is that she's a giga fan of them) when jamming out with people in the crowd. So, as said in Luci's introduction post, she meets Bao by going to his tea shop after being extremely heated. Making Bao her first friend. Of course, that leads to her learning Bao & Pico are together. The only other people in a relationship she'd know of would be Warren & Hypno, because of Repo. It'd leave her puzzled on the subject of a lover. She knows people date & get married & all that, but actually knowing people who are is a shock to her. Like knowing something exists but not really registering it until you've seen it in person. While trying to wrap her head around it, she sees a show playing on the TV Repo left on, it being romance. She'd take this as an opportunity to figure this strange concept & it turned into her binging and watching a bunch of them. Through watching romance is how she'd find out things that were cringe or confusing to her, & things that peaked her interest. (I think she'd just ask Bao straight up, "Why the f*ck are you dating?" That'd probably be her reaction to the news lmao in the sense of "Why Pico?" but also just "Why?")

Repo never talked about romance with Luci unless she asked, and with the lack of people she's around, she never dealt with being questioned on her interest in others & having that expectation of needing to find someone. So that kind of relationship has never been on her mind. What she's interested in, from all the shows & films, interactions she's seen, and by pure description has been the intimacy of those close relationships. It's more of a second thought that might appear time to time when watching romance that'd linger. But aside from that, she doesn't care for any of the rest.

Luci is not an affectionately giving partner that likes receiving attention. With the way she's raises & how she views Repo, she always liked getting attention. The way she grew up also made her not the most considerate person in the world unless it was for Repo (later on others), so she isn't the most showy with affection. She shows affection with others, aside from Repo, by just her presence. Even if she just doesn't talk, her being there with someone is her way of showing care. Sage loves expressing her affection through words. She may not talk as much in a conversation, but when giving praise or compliments, those are likely to make that person be in a good mood for the rest of the day. She likes making people feel good, it's a reason she's an herbalist. She manages to say all the right words & takes pride in that. They do standard cuddles & head resting and is pretty much all they do. They like to go on outings, Sage more than Luci, or just sitting around doing nothing. But they do have this thing with holding hands. They hold hands a lot when doing just about anything, but Sage would always reach for Luci's second pair of arms. And that Luci would never be the one to let go of hands, it'd always be Sage who'd have to do it & I just thought it was sweet lol.

okay that's enough rambling for me lol

[tarajenkins]

It's that time again

Time to make a massive post for my thoughts on the Lord Vauthry side of the new Encyclopaedia 3! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Spoiler alert: they aren't positive at all, lmao As it turns out, there is a convenient cover-our-ass disclaimer right off that this book is diegetic. The information in it is supposed to have been gleaned from the Scions. The Scions who, especially in the case of Eulmore's ~dark secrets~, would know jack shit about fuck all.

Admittedly, Hydaelyn should've known at least some of this through the death of her last Oracle, but for whatever reason it slipped her mind to tell us any of it in-game. Whoops!

Or maybe she was relying on that child to be the stopgap against the Rejoining happening too soon, like Selch. She could've at least given credit where it was due, if so. >:T

Twitter had a huge pearl-clutching shitfit the other day about that Oracle's death, which boiled down to "EW GROSS FATTY BEAT A CHILD TO DEATH OMG". The OP showed a screenshot of the page which mentions that Vauthry attacked the Oracle after having a nightmare that she would kill him. But they chose not to link the FIRST part for whatever reason, where it stated the Oracle in question had been fighting Sin Eaters alongside Ran'jit before Vauthry was even born. So unless this Oracle was an infant slayer of Sin Eaters, Vauthry was the child in that scenario--at age TWELVE. A twelve-year-old somehow defeated Hydaelyn's avatar, who was a skilled fighter trained by Ran'jit himself. (Ran'jit was a Master Assassin at five years old, btw. No, really.)

That said, the fanbase in that post naturally bought the OP's failure to math the way Estinien buys his hair ties: like suckers. Players were parroting the misinformation via solo posts and showing their entire ass on fatphobia in this character's tag all day. And, of course, where the fandom forgives and forgets the atrocities of almost every other character, people suddenly seemed very invested in making Vauthry enjoyers EXPLAIN THEMSELVES because this character did THIS.

When that was called out for the glaring hypocrisy, one poster replied it's just that "people are shocked at child abuse suddenly being mentioned and relevant."

Except child abuse has ALWAYS been mentioned and relevant in this game. It also applies to Vauthry himself. Emet-Selch essentially killed Vauthry before he was even born, dooming an infant to a life of madness and violence by fusing the baby with a Lightwarden. His father groomed him on lies for a power grab, Ascians further manipulated him in his madness to raise the Virtues, Ascend Gaia's parents, and who knows what else. What would you call that, if not abuse? Thank Emet-Selch for the previous Oracle being murdered. That wasn't going to happen with a 12-year-old who wasn't corrupted by a Lightwarden.

But, let's be real. All the derision of the character's weight during that Twitstorm made it extra obvious what makes him ~problematic~ to them. For their faves, it's "it's just fiction uwu" or the classic ~moral relativism~. For Vauthry, it's rabid foaming because it's clearly a Moral Failing to enjoy THAT character, and we who do must be harassed for it! Case in point, the Twitter OP even pulled out the old uwu ~at least I'm not a ~Vauthry shipper uwu" chestnut, I kid you not. At least, rabid foaming on behalf of vidya game children everywhere until I asked if it was finally time to discuss how many pixel children were murdered by the Rejoinings or Garlean occupation, for a start. Kids freezing in the Brume, etc. Kids made monsters by corrupting them in the womb. You know. A Tuesday. Crickets, then.

"I can't imagine Vauthry ever being a child", someone else posted.

They showed him as a baby in his mother's arms, in the Echo flashback. It's not hard. But I guess it's easier to dehumanize a fat character than it is to think a little.

If anyone else wants to be pissed at me saying all this as they were years ago, I really, really can't be arsed to care. It's rare NOT to see this character's fatness derided in just about any discussion of him. It sure was in his Twitter tags the other day. And, well. Every day. If you want to prove me wrong, though, confront that behavior when you see it, make shutting it down the norm, instead of whining how I'm "too rude" and so that invalidates my points somehow. No shit I'm rude when this "great community" has all the wit of bullies on a playground. Go tone police them instead, maybe.

ANYWAY

On the plus side, some of this new sorta-lore does seem to still back up some of my original in-game theories, but he was already twisted by the corruption from birth. There's no denying that anymore at least, no more hearing stuff from the fanbase like "uwu Emet-Selch gave him a GIFT, Vauthry just abused it uwu". (Who am I kidding, the last part will still happen.) Also, since the actual writers of this book don't stand behind anything written in it, I can still give him the happy ending in AUville that he should have had canonly. ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝ ♡

What the purpose of this book is when nothing in it is concrete, I have no idea. But if Square can't back off their unimaginative fatphobia, can they at LEAST make Eulmore make sense?

NOPE ( ᐛ )b

Vauthry's father was named Veronth Mudthane, and in this retcon they imply he took more than a minute to decide that allowing a rando to corrupt his baby without asking his wife first was a swell deal. "The Scions" should've at least known the Echo shown in-game just…completely refutes that. But this book also has a blurb for Anogg but shows a portrait of her brother Konogg, so I honestly have to wonder if "The Scions" even played this game.

Vauthry's mother, as per usual, is not given a name or otherwise addressed at all. Because reasons.

"A euphoric Veronth went on to spoil his offspring in extravagant fashion, showering this "new god" with adoration bordering on worship. Such treatment would warp any child's mind, and Vauthry was no exception: he grew up willful, wanton, and possessed of an awful temper."

No exceptions except: Alphinaud, Alisaie, Nanamo, the fandom darlings of Ishgard (arguably excluding Emmanellain but for some reason he always gets a free pass), Hildibrand, Sark Malark, I'm sure I am forgetting some but you get the idea! There's only one difference, I wonder what it could be--

reads book's description of Vauthry's "corpulent chest"

--ah, right. The shitty tropes barely disguised as storytelling. Double standards! It's not just for jackasses in the fanbase anymore! "The Scions" are trying to lay this on "spoiling", when the child was fused with a Lightwarden. Ask Titania how that went for them.

The book goes on to say Vauthry murdered both of his parents at age nine in a fit of temper. You read that right: age nine. With witnesses. Somehow. They go on to mention the witnesses may have been okay with it perhaps because of "a growing mastery over his Lightwarden powers of domination". You know, those powers of domination that didn't exist in-game when Alphinaud chastised the Eulmorans for willfully ignoring the plight of the rest of the world. Those powers of domination that, when they finally were exerted in-game, resulted in the Eulmorans staggering around like drunks, muttering and supremely useless.

In-game, Vauthry wasn't "dominating" anything until he sprouted meatwings and fled to Gulg. Otherwise, Tristol would never have been able to ask to leave? Alphinaud would've been affected, even if the WoL was shielded by the Blessing of Light. Kai-Shirr would have chopped his arm off gladly. The Eulmorans would be blameless for everything Alphinaud and the narrative blamed them for.

In any case, both in this book and in-game, the writers completely gutted their own narrative of Vauthry and/or Eulmore being symbolic of All Things Bad. It's pretty impressive. Vauthry was corrupted by a Lightwarden, like Titania; his mind and behavior were compromised by this from birth. And if he DID control the Eulmorans the whole time, then they had no free will, either.

The book claims Vauthry used Ascension as a cruel game and delighted in ~revealing the truth~ to his victims as they became Sin Eaters. But they never explained why there would be a need to hide any truth with this latest spin on the dumpster fire that is the Eulmore arc.

In-game, there were rules to even request Ascension of him, and it was limited to and at the discretion of the formerly rich free citizenry. Workers could be granted it, but only if their patron vouched for them. The free citizens apparently had to wait until they were at their natural end, as per the Warbler's patron. The random disappearance of so many people from the stagnant population of that tower over the years would cause a panic by any stretch of the imagination. Word would get out, because workers on the inside were shown to be able to visit loved ones in Gate Town. Only allowing Ascension at the natural end of life would cover all that part up, except Vauthry was only 29 years old. The opportunities for Ascension: The Game would've been about as often as Minfilias spawned in that one century. (Which, according to the game, was totally hundreds on hundreds of Minfilias!) Either way makes zero good sense. The convoluted lengths they went through for the sake of these cheap fatphobic tropes is staggering, I s2g.

Meol still doesn't make sense, either. They doubled down on the "fat character eats people" trope in the book, but tbh I've come to expect unoriginality from anything directed by Naoki "Diversity would be unrealistic in my giant magic summon fantasy game" Yoshida.

Sin Eaters are said to have been found in cages next to a butcher table sort of setup, even though in-game, Sin Eaters have no bones, blood, or meat. In fact, the sparklies they dissapate into upon death are rather important to the narrative, as that is what turns people into new Sin Eaters. Meol, you know, that dish which was still entirely optional, and so really contradictory to using it as some master plan to MC the populace.

TL;DR: This is what happens when you phone in lazy tropes instead of a story for a last-minute arc and call it a day. Imagine what we could've had if they'd done some actual thoughtful writing. Also TL;DR:

Mood, Your Lordship

[ddlcbrainrot]

Same anon as before yes hello

With Monika I think one thing I always remember with her is that she’s very good at saying stuff she doesn’t seem fully believe. A lot of her act 3 discussions is her acting as if she doesn’t care, that she doesn’t feel guilt, that she truly thinks the others don’t matter. But we know that just isn’t the case. If she never cared then why would she have a protein bar, why didn’t she just delete them all immediately, why did she still have them tucked away? She wants to seem like she’s this all in control mastermind but she just… isn’t. She’s doing so much to try and relate with us but no matter what there’s the part of her that cares that she simply can’t get rid of. She can make her hanging joke, but it’s mostly for us and partially to convince herself. “Oh the player probably doesn’t care, I shouldn’t either, why should I care, the player don’t think they’re real and well they aren’t, but I am.”

For me I rarely call her a full asshole not because what I think she did was right (she fucked up), but because I can constantly see her contradicting herself no matter how hard she tries to be other wise. To me, especially in side stories, Monika wants to SEEM like she’s perfect but she knows in her heart of hearts that she isn’t, that she isn’t capable, that she will never be perfect. But damn it, she has to be. Or else then no one would care about her. Monika definitely seems like she has an ego but it honestly feels so performative for me, especially when in side stories she spends so much time self flagellating herself and her issues as “silly” or “stupid”.

That’s a lot of text and idk if it’s coherent, basically yeah I just think base game Monika tries super hard to seem like some sort of uncaring bad bitch but she isn’t as much as she tries to be. In side stories she’s coming from a good place and in base game it’s a desperate place. Theres a bit of malice there, but it’s not completely her motivator.

And yeah I agree that she wouldn’t automatically become a better person, she’s got a long way. But the first step is to acknowledge the fuck up and that’s what she does after being deleted and being pissy for a bit. And also above all the stuff about her previous guilt that is subtly shown throughout act 3. God she especially realizes some shit after seeing Sayori be in her same position. So in a post game story, she knows she cares about the others and feels guilt. How does she fix it tho? Definitely agree on the self sabotage part, considering Monika doesn’t even let herself be reinstalled in act 4. Her worse enemy is herself. And how can she realize that if no one is able to call her out? Certainly not herself if she thinks it’s the “right thing” to do. It’s all very fascinating and tragic really. But shows how important it is to have other people who are equals to you and can call you out or talk to you, which side stories Monika has in abundance.

I just sent this ask so fast cause I really do enjoy some good conversations about Monika that have so much nuance. She’s so interesting cause of her multitudes.

(And well I’m someone who isn’t on tumblr at all so idk about that, unless some how my writing has breached containment dhdjr)

Monika is a gaslighting queen, even if the person who she is gaslighting is herself lmao. She is definitely not a mastermind, or prefect, even though she wants to appear this way. And she is also not dumb, she knows this. But she keeps trying to convince herself otherwise. I've made a post in the past talking about how obvious her denial is in act 3, and i dont think i need to explain it either, if you play the game and listen to her dialogue its like hilariously and embarrassingly easy to see. There is a slight resentment present for the girls in base game, but its also very apparent that she cares a lot for them even as she tries to convince herself she doesn't.

I wouldn't exactly call her an asshole either, more like... a person who can be sort of shitty sometimes. As for her ego, I do think she truly believes she knows best, and she will follow through with her plans initially without taking into consideration the others, but after she starts second guessing herself quite a lot. Her ego is very contradictory if that makes sense idk

That part about Monika being her worst enemy sums it up pretty well I'd say

(damn maybe my deduction skills aren't as good as i thought then... still i really enjoy ur asks on Monika so I'd say you seeming super cool still stands)

[circular-bircular]

alright last thing I'll be saying about this, promise. one of the latest thing AEV said is that apparently it's now SAS' fault for *checks notes* being an adult who "started beef" with a minor?

dude you started this??? you started this by spreading a wildfire of misinformation in your so called anti misinformation blog??? and got extremely defensive to be point of aggression?? in your so called "not condoning harassment" way??? I'm so. I'm just so exhausted I swear. it's the cognitive dissonance for me. I can't do this it confuses the fuck out of me. it's also the using their minor status + NPD as shield for me. no the fuck not, it does not protect you from criticism, we don't have to sugarcoat and be nice for you to read what we have to say lest you "don't know how to reply because I'm very sensitive :((" sounds like a you issue.

(same anon as the last AEV vent post, the one with the blocklist thing and shift in thinking of SAS. I might as well tag my asks or come off anon at this point lmao. only reason I stay on anon is because my main is not sys related but also it's not a secret, and I've been following you for a while, so I'll be pondering the orb with future asks)

Nothing much to add.

I’m likely not going to be saying much more, unless more progresses.

Just shame on the few adults in this picture who are encouraging this behavior, and an encouragement for everyone to let it die at this rate. I knew these were kids, but not just how bad it was until I saw a literal middle schooler arguing alongside everyone.

When I was 13, I was playing games on my computer and didn’t have tumblr yet. I was a child. Please let yourself be kids.

For those who are “almost adults” — don’t grow up too fast. Don’t let these people convince you to grow up this fast. You don’t need to stand up against ableism at 18, especially if you have DID; you just need to focus on surviving and recovery.

And to the adults: get a goddamn life. Seriously? You have nothing better to do that out someone’s main blog to a minor and stir up shit? Calling them “your kiddo”? It’s giving all the red flags, to the degree it makes me sick.

AEV, if you’re reading this: at the start, all we were upset about was the misinformation that you were spreading. Your sources were shit, and you did more to prove endogenic plurality than any pro-endo has with your little antitoxins blog. But then you made it disinformation, slandered my friend, and continued to do so against all the critics.

This isn’t harassment; this is just an adult’s playground.

Please step back, for everyone’s sakes.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hello to the worst parallel in the world (affectionate)

@respectthepetty made an entire post about symbolism in Moonlight Chicken that was truly excellent and spurred a conversation in the comments that gave birth to another truly excellent post about potential for the central conflict in Moonlight Chicken.

And as I watch episode 3 I cannot help but think about this moment of foreshadowing at the end of episode 1 and the statement it is making.

Above is a photo of Wen's ID card with the Marina logo printed on the back of the ID and the words "Wen- Moonlight Chicken- Temp Staff" scrawled in marker on top of the plastic ID cover. The words here block out or overshadow Marina, showing Wen's attention and interest lies in the chicken shop above his interest in Marina.

At this point in the show, I had begun to suspect that Wen (and possibly Alan) would be involved in a Marina project that would potentially threaten the Moonlight Chicken Diner. When Episode 2 aired, this conversation between Kaipa and Jim made me think Marina would just be building new food market territory in the zones around where Moonlight Chicken Diner was located, driving up prices of both rent and food and making it impossible for Jim to continue to operate at the prices he is currently charging:

Enter Episode 3 where we get the Grand Reveal. Marina is planning on expanding their food court (which we already knew), they are not just going to purchase the buildings and put their own vendors in, they are planning on demolishing the existing structures and build something new over top. And what do we learn about the zones Marina is considering? The zones include the Moonlight Chicken Diner

And here is where the worst (emotionally) visual parallel comes in to play. The Marina logo with the tagline "creating a sustainable future" printed on top right corner of a photo of the Moonlight Chicken Diner. Looming over top of the building like it's waiting for its moment to strike. Even Jim's green truck is parked in front of the diner in this photo. He's in that diner, he's preparing food for the evening when this photo was taken, completely unaware of the fact that someone is outside, ready to tear his chicken shop to the ground. And respectthepetty, if you are seeing this post, I for one think it is very rude of the blue and red color coding to continue even in this photo with the blue wall and red lanterns.

Something something Moonlight Chicken being written over Marina on Wen's ID something something Marina building on top of the rubble of Moonlight Chicken Diner something something.

Anyway, the gay chicken show has consumed my life and we are only 3 episodes in.

I haven't finished episode 3 yet, only got through part one and felt compelled to make this post so unless they already handle it later on in the episode I am very interested in how Jim will react to finding out that he's the other man once Alan show up in full force, or what I will affectionately be calling 'The Cock Fight" but you know...that's a whole other post.

Also, please do NOT get me started on the irony of Marina's tagline being "creating a sustainable future" when they keep driving prices higher and are only interested in demolition of old historic buildings *cough, cough*

Edit: lmao, not me starting part 2 of episode 3 and having them give me the same parallel immediately.

[memberment]

Genesis

I am back from work. My internet is down. However, thanks to the gods, I have hotspot. Updates are here tn. I'm working on a redraw of Marj and Bebe. ALSO.

Abt to start writing Clyde and Kenny going on a date (THERE HAS TO BE SOME FLUFF IN THIS OTHERWISE WHERE'S THE FUN, RIGHT?)

(I totally lied I am not about to work on either of those things right now I'm about to concept my cypher for Trinitarianism. And I'm only directly saying it on this acc because there are like six people here. But there is a cypher and it is in relation to the art. I am HOPING someone picks up on HOW bc I will not be stating that. Unless I say fuck it we ball and I do. But I probably won't.)

1:43 update I got nothing done so far bc I got distracted for two whole hours explaining the plot of this entire fic to my brother god bless. BUT. The prologue art on trinitarianism has been reposted. There doesn't appear to be anything different about it though.

It is 4:58 and I've been testing shit for an hour and I keep accidentally posting and I'm GONNA SCREAM

HOW DO I GET IMAGES TO ACTUALLY UPLOAD LIKE I AM TRYNA POST A CHAPTER ON SUNDAYYYYY

It's 6:27 and I'm still lost I am calling god himself to give me an explanation because I WANT TO START POSTING THIS. ON SUNDAY. I DO NOT WANT TO WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT LINE UP. BUT I CANNOT GET IMAGES TO WORK AND THERE ARE SPECIFIC IN FIC IMAGES I NEED. I ALREADY MADE THEM. AHHH.

But anyways I'm working on the Marj/Bebe redraw in hopes that I can actually get everything done for Sunday and I got to a point with the line art where I just started coloring and I'm leaving everything up to god lmao

Anyways, send ur thoughts and prayers that one of my ao3 pals can make these pics fucking work bc I will actually scream if I can't get them to work LMAO

6:35 update NEVER FUCKING MIND I GOT IT SOMEONE QUE UP THE WAR IS OVER PART OF THAT CHRISTMAS SONG I'M LOSING MY SHIT

HOLY SHIT Y'ALL I JUST FIGURED OUT THE BEST THING FOR HEIDI'S INTRO CHAPTER I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

Also I am SO sorry if any of you have post notifs on and your email is blowing up from me I kept accidentally posting the same fucking thing while trying to test stuff

I promise I will stfu soon LMAO

Yeah okay I just figured everything out. I'm losing my shit. Screaming. Crying. Throwing up. Anyways, expect MAD SHIT to be hidden within the walls of this fic. Like. They are gonna be HIDING. IN. PLAIN. SIGHT.

anyways first real chapter is going up Sunday because I! FIGURED! IT! OUT! (It's literally 8 in the morning I've been fucking with this for basically three hours (I took an hour break to draw bc ao3 got me mad) and I am running off diet Dr Pepper and vibes alone, excuse my insanity.)

[greenbirdtrash]

yikes can you drop the @ so we know who to block

I'm not sure if the person who got outed (a particulary nasty person with quite nasty behavior, i have to say) is on tumblr, but the person who made a pedo collab with them is. I will put some info and screenshots under the cut.

I already blocked everyone involved, and i refuse to add anything to this situation for my own comfort and sanity. Hope you understand.

I strongly advise to not interact with the mentioned people, but the "beware" word about their problematic behaviour needs to be said, because i know there's people who don't want to support/reblog from people with such views. DO NOT harass them or go after them, please. This is only a beware.

TW PEDO, CW oncest

Okay so...about the licorick. I had him blocked in telegram for months since i first saw him sending some pedo shit in the group chat that i no longer a member of (mostly because i left after that incident and it wasn't a moderated group before it happened), but i had no idea i will hear more about him, i literally just woke up today and all my mutuals are talking about the beware post on him that finally got created. I wasn't really surprised, but my jaw fell right on the floor when i saw there's also my now former mutual being involved in that.

[the original post from licorick's channel. TRANSLATION:

"tw pedo"

"an amazing collab with pedo oncest with monika, hooray"

"we DO NOT SUPPORT/ROMANTICISE PEDOPHILIA!!"]

I find it incredibly ironic to create such content and cover it with "no no, we do not support, but "it's fictional, which is okay(literally a quite from licorick)"..like, man.why are you even drawing it in the first place?Sick.

This is the pinnacle of the currently ongoing russian fandom part drama. You can pretty much recognize the @.monika-fan0 drawing style, tho i have NO FUCKING IDEA what could be in that person's head to straight up draw something like that unless they're into that sick shit just like their "friend" licorick (who is widely known across the russian part of the fandom as "that one lunatic with pedo takes that he sents to local fandom confessions", and his DNI list literally includes "softies/normies" what more can i say?). There's also multiple statements from different people about Monika being a proshipper, creating/being an admin in one of the hate confessions directed towards one of the lorax artists and even creating a mascot for MAP-oriented group...Whatever you call it, it's still pedo and DEFINITELY not healthy.

Since peiple started sharing the beware post and asking questions about the drama and the mentioned collab, Monika has released an official statement that basically goes like "lmao, sorry if i offended someone, I don't care, just isolate yourself from people you don't like/want to see"

Not to point my finger at certain someone, but a particular artist who you might remember from their vampire onceler oc with a blue tailcoat showed up in the comment section and started defending monika, saying that "she shouldn't apologize to these lunatics"..you can pretty much read and translate it yourself if you want to.. *sighs*..well. more people for me to unfollow/block...

Here it is. Sorry for the shitty auto translation from her telegram post, but i really do not want to interact with it anymore:

That's pretty much it. Be careful with who you support. Sometimes..sometimes the people whose art you have geniune interest in turn out nasty.

Stay safe, everyone.

[thekingofthenameless]

Tell me your top 3 OCs

Thanks for the ask!!! :D

My top two are definitely Merlin and Charlie!

(I have other ocs of course, but I have no thoughts about them rn because I’m writing a oneshot specifically centered around these two, so I’m just gonna talk about their bond for the third lmao.)

1. Merlin:

Merlin (full name Merlin Caledonensis Ambrosius) is a Black transgender aroace man! (Specially non-partnering, as well as being romance and sex repulsed.) He’s also neurodivergent: he has schizophrenia, psychosis (as a symptom of it), misophonia, and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

He has a carefully crafted image of himself that he’s made as a way to survive, and no one besides Charlie, Ganieda, or Vivian will know his true self.

He hides it all under being a very mellow person.

He’ll smile easily, make shitty puns, converse with most people he comes across, give advice and trade knowledge freely without there being any catch, unlike some others out there.

Many consider him a friend, one of the most renowned protectors of magic, and one of the most famous magical beings, that everyone at least knows the name of. (Despite the demons that apparently have plagued his mind for centuries.)

But both he and his dragon are shrouded in myths and legends that no one knows are true or not, and he’ll never confirm or deny, simply dodging the curiosity or asking about the questioner with a smile.

(Unless it’s about being secretly married, because then he’ll go on a disgusted rant about being thrust into romance, and how he’s never been in a relationship, and he doesn’t need it, he has Charlie and his sister and his friends.)

His secrecy isn’t just limited to his past; it’s to the point that he feels exposed if someone simply finds out something he likes.

He usually doesn’t think about the fact that he’s constantly hiding parts of himself to make him seem more palatable, but when he does, he resents it. (And understands, because he���s hard to deal with. He has no idea why Charlie still loves him, sometimes.)

Just a few of the secrets he holds close to his chest are being naturally left-handed, hiding it behind the mask of ambidexterity that he taught himself. His complete and utter lack of romantic or sexual attraction, to the point of being repulsed at the idea. His aversion to a frankly maddening amount of sounds, and being born a girl, who hadn’t wanted to change his reproductive organs because they didn’t make him feel distressed and not at home in his own body like his breasts.

The voices in his mind tell him that everyone knows, no matter how hard he’s tried to hide them, and that they’ll hurt him again; Charlie has to constantly reassure him that no one else knows besides the two of them. (But not that he’d never betray him by revealing them. He’ll always trust his familiar, and Charlie knows that.)

Art Dump! (And an excerpt of his appearance from another character’s point of view because I’m lazy lol)

Click on the pictures for better quality and to see the whole thing! (The old one is his first, older design; the second one is his current one.)

[Amos] tries not to stare, taking in his appearance nonetheless. The man who is apparently Merlin seems to be only a couple of inches shorter than him, even from where he’s standing. Long white hair, that shines like freshly fallen snow, rests halfway down his back. It’s locked into thick strands that remind him of strong rope, tied up into a mid-high ponytail. Every side of his head is shaved, showing softer but still coarse hair that glimmers like frost. “Merlin,” Uther calls. “I have someone for you to meet.” He turns, revealing his face. He’s beautiful. He’s Black; his skin is a warm, dark brown. Several scars (one on the left side of his forehead, above his eyebrow; another spanning from his forehead to his nose, ending a little below his eyes; and the last across his left cheek) darker than his skin adorn his face. His eyebrows, eyelashes, and beard (which has a coarse, curly texture) are as white as his hair. His almond shaped eyes are a lighter shade of blue, with orange rings around his pupils. Eyebags darker than his skin, but a different shade than his scars, are under them. The bridge of his nose is prominent, making it curve. An aquiline nose, if he remembers correctly. He hasn’t seen anyone who has it in a while. He’s wearing a dark green bliaut, (that shows some of his chest, and he has to quickly look away) brown pants, a long, hooded blue cape, and brown heeled boots. A necklace, which is only a gem held with black string, rests against his neck. A bracelet is on his right wrist, and a ring is on his right hand’s second finger.

2. Charlie:

Charlie (full name Charlemagne William Ambrosius) seems a little rougher around the edges than his wizard, but he’s still nice (once he gets to know someone).

If he doesn’t know them yet, he won’t hide the fact that he stares them down while gauging their character. And even if he does, if they aren’t Ganieda or Vivian, he’ll still give them the same stare if they say or do something that could register as a possible threat to his beloved. (Yes, he calls Merlin that now. You’re welcome.)

He’ll say the things that Merlin thinks but won’t say, and doesn’t care that he comes off as mean or blunt sometimes either.

No one else’s opinion matters as long as Merlin is safe.

Anyone trying to separate the two of them, no matter for how long, immediately comes off as suspicious to him. People have attempted to take advantage of his familiar’s illness in the past, by convincing him that their actions weren’t real and were things he hallucinated or imagined. Sometimes, they also do the opposite and make him remember things that never happened.

And there’s the separation that still haunts both of them in different ways.

He’d been out hunting (which takes hours, since he’s a 3,000 pound dragon that eats a lot, but at least he only needs to eat every 4-5 days) leaving Merlin behind with their mutual acquaintance, Mordecai. His familiar had been feeling slightly tired, but neither of them were too worried; he’d hopefully sleep it off.

When he returned, Merlin was gone.

After hours of frantically trying to contact him through their telepathic bond multiple times while tracking his scent, he found a monastery.

His companion’s scent led him down to a dungeon, which had a chair with blood at its feet. And it continued in a trail somewhere else.

He had to quell his rising terror and fury to focus on finding him, following the blood and still strong scent upstairs.

Finally, he’d found the door that Merlin seemed to be behind, and he entered quietly when he only heard silence.

Even after seeing the blood, he still wasn’t expecting Merlin on a bed, sheets under him bloodied and stained, two corpses on the floor.

He was curled into himself, staring off at nothing.

They’d tortured him, broken him.

He never wants to see his beloved look that like again.

Art dump and excerpt:

(Like Merlin, the old one is his first, older design; the second one is his current one.)

(Charlemagne stares at [Uther] the whole time, red eyes almost glowing in the dim light.) How is no one else unnerved by him? He’s entirely unsettling, with those red eyes, (at least they have white sclera; that helps with making him look slightly less monstrous) giant, feathered wings colored like lava, and thick-furred body colored like soil and fire. (What kind of dragon has fur and feathers, anyways?) Besides that, the mark of being a familiar adorns his leg, for lack of a better word, unable to be hidden.

Their bond:

(To help with some things, cambions and dragons both age extremely slowly! Cambions age one year in every five years; dragons age one year in every fifty-five years.)

Yes, I did math for this lmao.

(Dragons also turn fully adult at five years old [two hundred seventy-five chronologically]. At a year old [fifty-five], they’re still too small to open their eyes. Five years later [60], they’ve opened, but their teeth haven’t grown in yet. Ten years later [70], they’re able to be weaned off milk. At two years old [110], they’re able to speak. From there, the main changes are their bodies slowly changing into adulthood.)

Merlin and Charlie have been familiars for a long time: over 4,000 years. (I don’t have an exact year yet. 😓) The two of them have been best friends, and inseparable for most of their lives.

Merlin, pre-transition, as a thirteen year old (chronologically 65) on the cusp of puberty, found him abandoned by his parents in the woods. They didn’t think he’d survive for much longer; the only reason he wasn’t classified as a runt was because mammalian dragons only have one offspring at a time.

At a year old (chronologically 55), he was too small to even open his eyes, but he could hear. Merlin’s hands gently ran over his fur, murmuring soothing words, getting him used to the feeling, voice and scent of human, before he gently cradled him in his arms and took him home. The little kit would be eaten by anything opportunistic enough if he didn’t.

Adhan was used to her son’s empathetic nature, but she never expected him to bring home a dragon.

Eventually, she was convinced, though.

Merlin fed him cow’s milk from a wooden bowl, hoping that he would able to digest it. (He was, fortunately.)

He looked down at the kit, colored like soil and fire, and lava all in one, and decided to name him Charlemagne William. He wasn’t going to give him his last name just yet.

Merlin always knew he was more intelligent than an average animal, no matter what anyone else thought, and talked to him as though he was human even back then.

Soon, it became commonplace to see the two of them together, Merlin either holding the little dragon in his arms, or carrying him in the blanket that he wrapped around himself.

Charlie became more affectionate as well, always curling against his side or on his chest.

By the next five years, when Merlin aged into fourteen, there was no concept of the two ever separating, but there was confusion when Charlie stayed the same size and age. (He’d opened his eyes only recently, and his teeth weren’t coming in; he couldn’t eat solid food as a result.)

Amidst Merlin’s worry over his dragon not seeming to grow, puberty slammed into him.

And he didn’t feel like a girl. It wasn’t his clothes; he’d always loved outfits that go down to his knees or farther. It was his body.

He felt too feminine, felt like he was all blossoming curves and soft features. He hated seeing his breasts grow, and he began to bind them, hiding the fact from everyone; fortunately, his healing factor helped offset any negative effects, and everyone was focused on getting Ganieda and Vivian together, anyways.

(Ugh, romance.)

But what he would be if he wasn’t a girl? A man? (Yes, is his answer, deep down.) That was ludicrous.

This would pass.

(It did not pass.)

At night, when everything was quiet, he vented to his dragon about everything, gently cradling him in his arms. How he didn’t feel like a girl and didn’t feel at home in his body. How certain sounds set him off, and people thought he would outgrow it, but he wasn’t, and how he was terrified of telling his family these things. He had to be a good daughter.

(Charlie would nuzzle him, understanding every word, purring as loudly as he could to comfort his beloved wizard.)

Charlie finally started growing more teeth when Merlin was sixteen, chronologically eighty years and six months then. He slowly weaned his dragon, introducing him to different types of meats and other foods. Apparently, they’re omnivorous, but it’s usually easier to just eat meat instead because of their size.

Despite the relief at the fact that his dragon just aged very slowly, his body dysphoria refused to leave. He knew that it wasn’t normal to hate looking at yourself in the mirror, and hate becoming a woman. (Especially since Ganieda accepted it, and loved it, happy to grow older so she and Vivian could marry sooner.)

Sometimes, when he was sure that everyone was asleep, he’d shapeshift into a man under the moonlight streaming through his window. He’d stare at himself, reverently running his hands over his face, quietly walking around his room in the body he so desperately wanted.

But he pushed it down, keeping it a guilty secret. Womanhood was still important to him; he had to be a good daughter, a good sister, and he loved them too much to just leave. But how would they react, if he did tell them?

(Charlie always treated him with the same love, man or woman, affectionately nuzzling him and purring. His eyes held an understanding that he wished everyone else would have.)

Maybe… he could broach the topic with his mother.

He did, eventually, and she gently stroked his steadily growing locs as he curled against her, speaking in nothing louder than a whisper the whole time. (Charlie rested against his feet, quietly watching them both. Adhan easily believed her son about his intelligence, now.)

She didn’t have any advice, in the end. But she kissed his forehead and told him that she’d always love him, no matter what. And if she did end up having a son, then she’d be blessed with the most amazing one she could have.

Twenty-five years later, at twenty-one (one hundred five years old), he shapeshifted into a man again, this time using his magic to make this form his true one. He cried when he was finally able to have the body he’d wanted for so long permanently.

Charlie wrapped around his legs, nuzzling him, and he picked him up, holding his dragon close. He purred loudly, sweet and comforting, even as Merlin’s tears soaked his fur.

Another seventeen years later, when Merlin was twenty-four (one hundred twenty-two), and Charlie was two (one hundred ten); Merlin was reading by the fire, and Charlie was curled against his right side.

Charlie looked up at his wizard adoringly, letting out soft purrs. He wanted to speak, talk to him just as much, and thank him for everything he’s done.

Merlin’s hand reached down to gently scratch his head, and he leaned into the contact, wishing he could speak even more.

Maybe… he could try.

“Merlin?” He said quietly, doing his best to not wriggle in excitement so the surprise wasn’t spoiled.

His wizard looked up at the unfamiliar voice, brow furrowing in confusion. After searching the room, his gaze went back down to him. “Charlie, did you hear that?”

“Yes,” was his simple answer.

Merlin’s mouth dropped open, eyes widening in shock. “What- You just talked.”

He smiled proudly, tail thumping as his wizard’s brain broke. “You can talk.”

After the subsequent reveal, and excitement had died down, they had long conversations that lasted for hours. At the end of it, their bond had only strengthened, and now, they knew things about each other that no one else ever would.

Twenty-three more years later, when Merlin was twenty-nine (one hundred forty-five), his schizophrenia began to set in.

He began to hear people calling his name when they hadn’t; began seeing things out of the corner of his eyes, with nothing being there when he turned around, confused. His food began to taste terrible when he knew it was the same as everyone else’s, and he became terrified of it being poisoned.

Then the voices and delusions started.

They started out positive, but over time they began to tell him crueler things.

His delusions told him that someone has invaded their home and is walking around (he can hear their footsteps), bugs were crawling on his hands in the dark until he turned a light on, or touched Charlie so his glowing spread to his hands.

And they happened over, and over, and over again, but every time it was real until he came out of it and remembered that they aren’t.

At least they usually didn’t last for that long.

But his hallucinations started getting worse, and instead of just hearing nonexistent voices, people and creatures appeared.

Sometimes it made absolute sense that a stranger was in their house. And they weren’t a threat, simply doing things that made him inquire why they were there.

Charlie, who was up to his knees now, was determined to help his wizard.

He suggested putting bells on the door so Merlin can think back and remember if they rang or not before he panics about a stranger being in their house. (It isn’t foolproof, but it does help.)

When the gaps in Merlin’s memory began to get worse, it didn’t matter. He’d remember for him. He’d eat some of his food first so that he knew that it wasn’t poisoned. He’d stay awake when he was afraid of falling asleep.

Merlin took care of him first. It was his turn.

After they fought in battles, and Merlin’s sensitivity to loud noises increased, along with new trauma, his stance didn’t change.

He’d breathe on him instead of calling his name so he doesn’t get as startled, and he’d walk across a room (in the rare occasion of that) instead of yelling for him. He’d do his absolute best to not yell at someone making him angry, no matter how much he wanted to.

He’d understand when Merlin got snappy because of his senses being bombarded with too much, and never blame him for it. He’d lay his head on his stomach as a comforting weight when panic became too much.

He’d say that he loves him, and he’s not going anywhere, he never is, and repeat those words over and over again, as many times as he needs to.

Merlin was sixty-five (three hundred twenty-five), when he became immortal. He could’ve used the spell that makes aging stop at thirty, like Ganieda, but the main reasons he didn’t was because he wanted to have natural white hair, not just changing his hair color, and he thought looking older would make him seem more distinguished. (If he’d aged badly, he would’ve shifted back to his younger appearance and kept the white hair. He didn’t, though.)

Charlie was a fully grown adult at five years old (three hundred thirteen), and just his head was as big as Merlin’s torso.

They went flying together now, and Merlin had crafted a saddle himself. Sometimes it was just a slow, leisurely fly for the sake of it; sometimes it was high speed, filled with loops and falling through the air. They still hardly ever argued about anything, but in the very rare occasion they did, they’d stay in the same room, spending time together in silence so they can calm down and see the other’s point of view. They always, always talked things out in the end.

They share the same feelings towards each other: I love you. I love you so much that I can’t fathom spending time away from you unless it’s absolutely necessary, and I’ve willingly chosen to stay with you for the rest of our lives. This bond was formed by a labor of love, and nothing can ever separate us, except for death.

I know things about you that no one else ever will. Typical familial terms like father figure or brother don’t fit us, because our relationship is far too complex to dilute it down into one role.

Soft whispers and gentle touches define us.

I am not leaving you. I am never leaving you.

One morning, after they woke up intertwined together, like always, there was a mark of swirls and leaves on Charlie’s right front leg, and when Merlin looked at his own body, there was one on his right bicep.

No one knew what they meant, until Merlin’s throat was slit after an ambush.

He didn’t die immediately. He choked on his own blood for at least ten minutes before he passed out, terrified of dying, hoping Charlie was safe, and would be able to recover in the end.

He woke up in a meadow filled with flowers, any signs of his violent death gone.

Before he could panic, a voice called his name.

He turned to see a being with completely dark, blue-ish gray skin.

Her hair, braided in a fishtail, long, feathered wings that almost dragged on the ground, and eyes, subtly glowing, were all completely white.

Golden earrings pierced her ears; a necklace of the same color with a red gem rested against her neck. A circlet that matched both was on her head.

Amara, goddess of life.

He immediately knelt in front of her, averting his eyes. He knew the legends, had seen paintings and murals of her. But why was she here?

Charlie appearing out of nowhere startled him. Completely forgetting about proper etiquette in front of a goddess, he ran to his dragon, stroking his fur and hugging him tightly.

Charlie hadn’t been hurt at all, unlike him. He didn’t know what had happened; he’d been trying to find him since their separation, and suddenly… he was here.

Amara had been quietly watching, smiling. She offered to explain, making both of them look at her; Merlin sheepishly apologized for his lack of decorum. She laughed and waved it off, understanding.

Charlie rested his head against his chest, and Merlin carded his fingers through his fur after they sat down. Amara explained that Merlin wasn’t going to die permanently: his heritage of being the former Anti-Christ had given him resurrective immortality. It was far more pragmatic than to make a new Anti-Christ every time one died. The markings on the two of them were from them becoming familiars, a bond of a precious animal companion and a wizard.

Charlie had received some of Merlin’s powers without them realizing it, which meant that if one of them died, they both would, and they would resurrect together. They also had a telepathic bond, like Merlin and Ganieda.

There was no spell to perform for them to become familiars. It was because they loved each other that much.

They’re still one of the only familiar pairs in the world, even now. Many wizards have animal companions, of course, but none of them have formed that bond created by a labor of love.

Art dump:

THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Artist credits: HappyArt9, cat-gh0ul, NaldThal, heropaws, biposi, and honeyxmonkey!

[hackedmotionsensors]

i didn't reblog the post but I do agree that the terminology for zines has gotten completely twisted.

ON THE OTHER HAND I don't think that selling them for say 20$ (which is what i sell my sketchbooks for) is unreasonable or unfair to still call a zine. I need to cover my costs of printing and the time I put into putting them together. yeah I can TECHNICALLY get a printer and print them myself but with the cost of printer ink and the lack of space its easier for me to just pay for someone to do it professionally but I'm also NOT making them at like....the HIGHEST QUALITY, LIBRARY BOUND, HARD COVER, IT COMES WITH A THOUSAND DOO DADS AND GIFTS. its just sketchbooks ofpreviously existing doodles and a few new sketches or sketches that I had before and colored in. Its essentially like selling a full print but in carryable size with some notes from me.

Its a zine but I call it a sketchbook because the idea of zines has changed for a lot of consumers. Thats not their fault bc those zines or anthologies DID start out in the "lets make a big ol book together because we are all horny for Reigen" kind of thing. A lot of times they're projects made from passion. I HAVE noticed that there's been a turn in the whole process of making them that both stresses out artists, requires kickstarters, and all sorts of shit that should be considered Artbooks. ARTBOOKS have always been on the higher end of things. There's nothing wrong with considering an anthology thats proper bound, and for a certain amount on a kickstarter you get extra things like stickers, charms, whatever.

But zines SHOULD go back to being simple little things. The cost to buy them shouldn't be lost UNLESS the artist wants it to be. If you print at home or using a schools printer and just print a bunch of cute little zines yourself then that should also exist and you can set your price point for whatever you want.

Its all semantics and personal preference at the end of the day but I do think that...yknow it wouldn't hurt if we could start calling the big project 50$ range books that often get run into the ground from bad leadership (or fun stuff like the organizer of the thing runs off with the money to play genshin) ...something other than zine. Like Artbook or Anthology. Or even Collection lol

Zine should be a small thing that you collect for fun and doesn't require a committee, a new discord channel, and a contract to make sure your organizer doesn't run off to play gacha (I'm sorry it still makes me laugh)

ALSO another thing about zines is that often times they were originally made to be alternatives to really closed minded book sellers. Like...its where a lot of the OG star trek fanfic/porn came from. Its a place to have your ideas put down. To explore narratives. Essentially Doujinshi can also be considered A TYPE of zine in that it literally means self published (not NECCESSARILY that its...yknow...bl or waifu porn lol Sometimes its just manga that artists put out before they can get published)

But lately there are a lot of zine projects (again...more actually like anthologies or art collections) that are REALLY REALLY closed minded even when the subject is SHIPPING.

So even the nature of CREATING the zines has changed a lot.

So yeah I agree with that post that I forgot to reblog. My only REAL gripe is that it doesn't mean that you should undercharge your work because you didn't print your zine at home or hand craft it like a youtube diy video. I did enough of that at art school I am not gonna bind a book or try to cut pages ever again if i don't have to lmao. CSP even has a zine preview so I can see the pages in 3d as if they were bound before printing lol