#unless its vom

[hellfiremunsonn]

so i saw u posted that you're taking requests and this is so so so stupid so just ignore me if it's weird lmao

anyway, i'm ill right now just a fever and blocked nose so nothing serious but i did sleep with my mouth open bc i couldn't breathe thru my nose bc.. it's blocked and i just woke up to take my meds and it looks like i've drooled all over my face and pillow ik gross but shit happens i guess. anyway, my joey brain rot got me thinking... how would he react if you drooled on him during your sleep..

i feel so stupid about this, again sorry if it's weird it's almost 4am and i'm delirious

THIS ISN'T WEIRD AT ALL.

I USED TO BE A HEAVY DROOLER AND A BITCH WOULD WAKE UP WET AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY SO I WILL ABSOLUTELY WRITE THIS.

AND IT WILL ABSOLUTELY BE WAY LONGER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE SO I WILL TAG YOU WHEN ITS OUT HEHEHEHEHEHE <3

[saintkaylaa]

𝙱𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙵𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 — 🎄

This blog contains 18+ content and I ask that only adults interact.

I use the MEMI app on IPhone for all my smaus

ෆ I randomly pick from my requests, I don’t go in order. If your doesn’t get done it was because I wasn’t comfortable, I wasn’t inspired (sorry😕), or it went against my rules.

ෆ In my smaus (or other works), most take place in a college au, and or, an au mix of the original series. Unless stated or suggested otherwise.

ෆ Please do not ask to add or change my lineup. I have done so a few times and it has caused me anxiety and stress. You can request someone for a certain prompt—given that its within my rules—but I will leave changing my line up to my own discretion, thank you.

ෆ I block minors & ageless blogs. Please have an age easily visible somewhere in your blog.

ෆ Please do not ask me to be mutuals as I like to decide that on my own! I do love y’all a lot, but asking me that puts pressure on me. I want my mutuals to happen naturally !

ෆ I will not write: tiktok dances, scat, p!ss kink, big age gaps, ageplay, cheating, incest, pedophilia, animal play, cnc, vore, vom!t, SH, ED, SA

[honorborn-a-blog]

♡

[gorodezki]

Manchmal muss man sich erst verlieren, um zu sich selbst zu finden. Christos war hineingeboren in eine Welt voller Grausamkeiten, herangezogen zu einem Jungen, für den der Tod zur Alltäglichkeit gehörte und dessen Zukunft so düster schien wie die Gedanken in seinem Kopf. Sein Weg war ihm von Anfang an vorherbestimmt worden, seine Zukunft in Stein gemeißelt. So schien es zumindest und er hätte sich auch nicht darüber beschwert. Wieso auch? Es war alles was er kannte, was hätte er also mehr vom Leben erwarten sollen? Wieso hätte er sich etwas anderes wünschen wollen, wenn ihm scheinbar die Welt zu Füßen lag, ihn Ruhm und Anerkennung schon von der Kinderwiege an begleiteten? Er war ein Narr gewesen und doch würde der junge Christos ihn selbst vermutlich als Narr bezeichnen, all das aufzugeben. Für ein einfaches Leben. Doch sein früheres Ich wusste auch nicht, was ihm entging. Was er verpasste, wann immer er sich wie besessen in die Arbeit stürzte, wie sehr er nicht nur seine Opfer quälte, sondern auch die eigene Seele entzweiriss, und das alles nur, um die Anerkennung seines Vaters zu erlangen. Ein Bestreben, was sich nie erfüllen sollte. Jegliche Gefühle seines Vaters waren gemeinsam mit seiner Mutter gestorben und zurück blieb nur die Wut und der Ehrgeiz, die auch Christos mit ins Verderben gerissen hätten, wenn er sich nicht irgendwann verloren hätte und im letzten Moment von ihr gerettet worden wäre. Heute war er selbst Vater und die Unterschiede zu Gregorij könnten kaum größer sein. Während Gregorij seinen Sohn nur als Nutzen oder Last betrachtete, je nachdem, was ihm gerade besser passte, hatte Christos gelernt, was es bedeutet, bedingungslos zu lieben. Nicht nur seine Frau, sondern auch die Kinder, die das Leben ihm geschenkt hatte. Er war bei weitem nicht perfekt und seine dunkle Vergangenheit würde er nie ganz hinter sich lassen können. Seine Seele hatte zu großen Schaden genommen und Gregorij wartete noch immer darauf, dass er eines Tages seinen Platz einnehmen würde, doch für Christos gab es inzwischen wichtigere Dinge. Er versuchte, besser zu werden. Für sie, für seine Familie.

Christos Pavao Gorodezki

Nicknames: Papa, Dezki, Papadezki, Schwiegerpapa(-dezki) Age: forever 29, don‘t let anyone tell you differently Birth: 12/09/1989 in Moskau Parents: Gregorij Gorodezki (*14/01/1963), Marija Gorodezki, née Juric (*29/07/1969 †15/09/1994) Siblings: -

Relationship: married to the amayzing @donner-wetter since 08/11/2016 Children: judith (@throneheiress, *13/01/19992010), livia rae (*13/02/2017), mila lucija (05/06/2019), henry lew (05/06/2019) Pets: - (may & judy make sure i never need one of my own)

Profession: Mafioso on the run, part-time zombie hunter, father & maykenner Location: currently in Toronto, Canada

Appearance: athletic, 196 cm, 94 kg, light blond hair, blue eye(s), more scars than one can count, arms crossed

Likes: protecting others, to be in control, punishing others (not only if they hurt his family/friends), being a father (figure to almost anyone/- in law), independency, being active, running (with ro before work), honesty, dad jokes, may's cooking skills, pancake breakfasts, grounding judy & dari people, giving nicknames, thunder, woods, the sea, the colour blue Dislikes: people who try to hurt his family/friends, trash bags, cooking (is a total catastrohpe in the kitchen), changing diapers, nosy neighbours, rules, paper work, alcohol and drugs in general, italy (sorry, bad experiences), know-it-alls (unless its livy), being in the wrong, trusting new people, asking for help, his insecurities, hospitals, sitting around with nothing to do, sleeping alone

[agirlunderarock]

Febuwhump 2022 Day 1: Headwound

Summary: Obi-Wan is wounded during the battle for Umbara.

Pairings: Obi-WanXOC (Sas Vom) Pre-relationship

Warnings: Mentions of blood, its not graphic, Obi-Wan is discombobulated  for most of it

Word count: 1330

Read on Ao3

    It felt like a long time since Obi-Wan had been in a real battle. He shouldn’t say a long time, Geonosis II was only a few months ago, and the mission from to the citadel had been one of the most difficult things he’d delt with in a while. If anything, the jedi felt he should have been ready for Umbara. He should have been ready for anything at this point. Yet, Anakin being suddenly called bac to Coruscant had truly thrown things out of sorts. Cody had taken command of Krell’s troops to their south, but Krell’s support from the north seemed to be falling short at every turn.

    There was nothing he could do about that though. Even in the middle of a firefight Obi-Wan’s mind raced with countless other things. He and his men were forced to take cover just outside the capital. Each time they tried to progress, Umbaran air support forced them back into hiding. He felt it was only a matter of time before they just bombed their location. The only reason he could figure that they hadn’t yet was that Oddball was giving them a hard time getting back to base. The moment Krell and Rex took the airbase was their chance to advance. 

    They didn’t have much time. Ghost company was exhausted, and wounded, but still they were more determined than ever to complete the mission. He leaned against what he could only assume used to be a building, looking down the ruined walkways, his mind already piecing together what kind of space this must have been. Did the Umbaran’s move through the area regularly? Was this a place people lived before his men built defenses with the remaining rubble?

    “Don’t do that to yourself Obi-Wan,” came a familiar woman’s voice. 

    Obi-Wan offered a tired smile up to the green woman. He was glad to see her unharmed, a few bruises sure, a scorch mark or two on her body armor, but overall Sas was still standing. “What exactly am I doing, my dear?” he asked motioning for her to sit down with him.

    Sas shifted her weight from foot to foot, but ultimately stayed standing. “That thing you do, when you think too hard and try to imagine what it was like before the war-”

    “How do you know thats what I’m thinking about?  I do believe we’re waiting on air support, after all. Unless of course you’re doing the same-”

    “Honestly, I’m still stuck wondering if some of the more rural Umbarans have big problems with those tentacle plants,” Sas answered, scratching her head and loosening her braid.Obi-Wan took that to mean she was trying and failing to keep her mind   She looked down the walkway again before sitting down next to him with a quiet groan. “I knew I shouldn’t have sat down- now I won’t be able to get back up.”

“I’m sure you will when the time comes,” Obi-Wan answered, leaning his head back against the wall. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and wake up back on coruscant, whether it was in Sas’ spare bunk or his own bed it didn’t matter. So long as he could put this battle behind him. He couldn’t close his eyes though, no matter how heavy his eyelids felt, no matter how much each of his limbs ached. He couldn’t. 

He took a deep breath mentally preparing to push himself to his feet.

“Hey just take a break,” Sas said quietly. “I’m going to check in with Looker and Waxer. Maybe they’ve heard or seen something about our air support-”

��I can do it-” he answered trying to reach for her to stay sitting

“I never said you couldn’t,” Sas said with a small grin- the dirt on her cheeks mixed and swirled into her painted on tattoos. “Just get some rest. Besides, you’ll get to do all the heavy lifting when we go into the city.”

“You should take your own advice sometime, Sas.” He called, as he watched her pick her way down the path to where a few troopers had gathered on a ruined rooftop.

“So should you,” she called over her shoulder.

Time seemed to stand still. In a matter of seconds, Obi-Wan registered the wide eyed panic in Sas’ eyes, the hum of a bomber flying over head, and felt that unmistakable tug of the force as he called on it to push Sas and their troops away from the blast.

 Obi-Wan didn’t remember moving.He didn’t think he had completely gotten to his feet. He couldn’t even be sure he was caught in the blast. Yet, he knew he must have. He couldn’t open his eyes for the splitting pain in his head. He thought he heard voices calling out to him, but he couldn’t hear them over the ringing in his ears. HIs body felt heavy as he tried to sit up. Something pushed him back down. He tried to open his eyes.

“Stop moving-” Sas’ voice finally broke through the ringing.

The jedi forced his eyes open, but his vision was blurry and his eyes stung as something sticky dripped into his right eye. He only just made out the green oval of Sas’ face and her dark mess of a braid looming over him. “Sas? What-”

“Pretty Boy, don’t fight me on this right now,” she said, and he felt something move over his eye lids. “You couldn’t use the force to push yourself out of the way?”

“If I did that I wouldn’t have my hero coming to rescue me, now would I?” he teased.

“Glad you’re feeling well enough to tease me.”

Another explosion went off some distance away.

“Sas, I’ll be okay go check on the others”

“Obi-Wan, you haven’t even opened your eyes. I’m not leaving you. Chip and Boil are checking the others.”

“Sas-”

“You have a fucking cut on your head that bled over your eyes- I can take care of this okay!”

Obi-Wan reached his hand up and took her wrist where she was holding a cloth to his head. “You don’t have to be a hero, my dear.”

    “You don’t have to be so dramatic, just let me help you.”

    Silence passed between them for a moment, and Obi-Wan did his best to just focus on the pressure she was applying to his wound, though he didn’t let go of her hand. He felt so tired. He had his eyes closed so blood wouldn’t drip into them, but it just made him acutely aware of how much time had passed since he slept. He took a deep breath, and slowly let it out, forcing himself to relax in what he began to assume was her lap. For just a split second he let himself imagine that they weren’t in the middle of a battle. That he’d open his eyes and they’d be on her ship, safe, relaxing- 

    He opened his eyes abruptly feeling the ground shake. Sas loomed over him, her jaw set tight as she set something over his wound. He winced from the cold gel she swiped over it.

    “Sorry,” she said, her jaw still tight. “I’m almost done. I’ll get you back to the others as soon as you say you feel well enough…” He gave a small nod in answer, only to be met with more concern. “What did I say about moving?” She said it like she was mad, but her smile showed she was trying not to laugh.

    He gave a tired smile of his own when she smoothed a bacta patch over his forehead, and her hands moved lightly along the side of his face. For a brief moment the words I love you caught in his throat as he met her concerned gaze. He couldn’t say that though, even if it was true. He would only end up hurting her in the end. Instead he gave a quiet “Thank you, Sas.”

[sun-undone]

another post about wkbz because i’m obsessed

i really can’t stop thinking about how good wir kinder vom bahnhof zoo could’ve been if they’d had more focus and showed the drug use and prostitution in a more negative light

the tragic moments in which the kids had some awareness of the hopelessness of their situation and addiction were the best parts of the show in my opinion, and it’s a shame that they were so few and far between. the most poignant example of this for me was when christiane and benno get clean only to be back on H within hours, blaming each other for the relapse in some offhanded remarks afterwards. but even that moment left room for more emotional depth. one of the most hard hitting themes present in the book for me was christiane and detlef constantly saying that they’d get clean, and the tragic hypocrisy of them saying stuff like that while literally preparing shots for each other. reading stuff like that over and over again really hit home the cycle of addiction that they were slaves to. the show did a little bit of this, but not enough in my opinion. i also thought that christiane’s eventual realization that not only would she have to share detlef with his johns but ALSO with heroin was striking to me while reading. i REALLY REALLY wish the show would’ve included these ideas with christiane and benno in a meaningful way because they could’ve been effective in showing at least some of the negative sides of addiction that the show really lacked the majority of the time.

there was so much potential in all of the characters, as well as within each of their relationships. michi was definitely the most underused character, i think, and he also happened to be the most interesting!!!! i loved his characterization that included this intense jealousy and seemingly superhuman strength, but also this delicacy and playful, emotional side that shone through in some instances alone with benno. his ending was super rushed and out of nowhere, and his sexuality and how that affected his relationship to prostitution was never really explored in a satisfying way. we also know nothing of his backstory and family, unless i missed something. it’s strange that it seemed like the show wanted to focus more on interpersonal relationships with a dash of heroin and prostitution, but then still failed in many aspects of developing those relationships and individual characters.

the prostitution in general was incredibly underdeveloped, even more so than the drug use. i never really got the sense that it was something that the kids HAD to do in order to fund their addictions, and that it was taxing and damaging to them, especially as minors. i wish i got a better sense of that complex relationship that they had to the work, which i thought was super interesting in the book, again. there was a certain sense of power that christiane felt, especially when she worked streets with babsi and stella, but she also had very strong opinions about what/who she would or wouldn’t do. and those opinions sometimes wavered when she was really desperate for money, which once again showed that although she may think she is in control, H is always the one actually pulling her strings. the show would’ve been so much more effective if it had had some scenes of the kids really talking about the johns and their experiences, “good” and bad.

i think the show could’ve really benefitted from some narration from christiane as well, which could’ve been cheesy but i think would’ve helped us gain some insight into her character that the show really lacked. christiane’s voice in the book was so striking, and her opinions and justifications about the things that she did were always so interesting to me, and i don’t feel anywhere near as interested in show christiane because of that lack of access to her thoughts. they had many letters read through voice-overs throughout the show, so it wouldn’t have seemed weird or random to also include some internal monologue from christiane herself.

in general, the show had incredible potential, especially with the budget and talent that they had access to, and it sucks knowing how much better it could’ve been with all of those resources at their fingertips. i think it invites a lot of discussion and there are definitely some themes and visual metaphors that actually do work well (babsi’s conversations with her father, dijan being this pseudo death figure, babsi’s entire death scene, the scene where benno takes H for the first time, costume and makeup changing over time as the characters sink further, letters and promises as motifs, just as a few examples that i personally liked) but so much is left underdeveloped particularly with the really important subject matter that they stick out like sore thumbs. maybe that’s why i keep watching it over and reading stuff about it: i’m desperately looking for stuff that i may have missed because it feels like entire scenes and episode must be missing. in reality, they tackled way too much and therefore failed to really fully deliver on any major aspect of the show, leaving it all feeling a bit muddled and lacking.

i still do really enjoy the show as a whole, even with these glaring missed opportunities, and i’m excited for its international release so i can finally see if my subtitles were even close to accurate

[neon-junkie]

you've mentioned before that you smoke *wink wink*, so could we get some hc's on what its like to smoke with some of the gang? nsfw or sfw?

i got u homie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gender-neutral reader, mostly sfw. headcanons include: John, Javier, Bill, Micah, Sean, Kieran, and Dutch.

everything is under the cut because of the obvious drug-use warning lol

---

John

John is the kinda person who claims he smokes when in reality, he had one puff at a party, panicked, then stopped smoking and convinced himself he was high all night.

Buys weed socks even though he's barely ever smoked; plays into the stoner trope a lot too. He doesn't know how to 'act' when he's high so he just follows the stereotypes.

If you ask him to smoke with you, he'll be like "Yeah, I know what I'm doing, I'll even roll for you," and then produces the worst joint you've ever seen.

BUT it's smokeable so who are you to judge?

Will probably big himself up, smoke far too much, then pretend like he's alright. Even if you question him on if he's actually alright, he'll just keep denying it and be like "yeah I'm cool."

Has the reaction times of a snail. You'll mention something to him and 10 minutes later he'll carry on the conversation.

John.exe has stopped working.

Will get munchies galore and probably starts asking you about aliens and all that generic shit.

He loves a cuddle, mostly because you won't be able to see his ghost-white face and mock him for being irresponsible with drugs.

If he's not in too-much of a state then he may try and come onto you, which usually means rutting his cock against your ass whilst he spoons you, and then cumming in his pants before he can actually do anything with you...

Javier

Knows how to roll and always offers how to roll; He sometimes gets carried away and tries making cross blunts and all those pretty, smokeable things.

Very laid back, encourages you to smoke whatever amount you're comfortable with, and he'll do the same.

He'll seem completely normal until you ask him to do something basic like play his guitar, and then you'll realise how fried his brain is.

No, he can't play his guitar whilst high... He'll probably pick it up and get ready to play but he can barely strum a note, his brain just shuts down and he'll sit there, zoned out, until you call his name.

He's really hooked on theories about the chupacabra so you'll hear him talk about that myth a lot, along with a handful of other theories and conspiracies.

On the odd occasion that Javier is stable enough to cook, he'll make the best stoner meals out there, mixing things that probably shouldn't work together but do simply because he cooked it.

Gets a bit touchy-feely, like he'll want to play with your hair or the buttons on your shirt, or just have you cuddle up to him whilst you both vibe together.

Don't be surprised if he kisses your temple or cheek often whilst gushing about how much you truly mean to him.

He's really down to fuck if you are.

Bill

Cuddle bug :)

It doesn't matter if you're dating or not, Bill will end up snuggling you and oh god, he's the best cuddler you'll ever meet.

He's quite laid back when he smokes, but when he first started he'd get impatient on the short amount of time it takes to kick in, so he'd smoke even more and end up in a weed coma.

He doesn't want to do anything, just cuddle you and share some snacks, and he'll even feed you without asking.

If you're after someone snuggly and lazy to smoke with then Bill is your guy; all you'll do is cuddle, eat, and sleep.

He'll chat with you a bit but nothing too deep. Bill just wants to relax and vibe, no brain power needed.

You are going to have the BEST weed nap with him too, you'll feel like a whole new person once you wake up.

And you may feel something pressed against your bum as Bill spoons you. He'll be more than happy if you help wake him up.

Micah

Oh my god, he boasts that he can smoke ten blunts at once, but he'll get stupidly high off the smallest toke ever.

*has one drag* *voms*

On the rare occasion that Micah manages to get high without dying, he's just a horny bastard. Drugs as a whole have that effect on Micah, he always gets stupidly horny under the influence.

BUT if you choose to sleep with him, he'll start with trying to be kinky, and halfway through he'll just kinda forget that he's meant to be kinky and ends up making love to you instead. So, if you're already dating then this could be quite a tender moment.

So much pillow talk afterwards; he loves to get really cosy, urging you to snuggle up to him, nattering away at whatever you want to talk about.

He's alright at rolling so he'll roll another joint and share it with you in bed.

Will probably fall asleep on you whilst you're chatting away, and you'll wake up the next day to find Micah snuggled up to you. He wants to be cuddled but just doesn't have the confidence to tell you, so his body will make it happen instead.

Sean

You know those videos you see of high people doing really stupid shit when they're high? Yeah, that's Sean.

He looks high as well, gets really bad redeye, and gets gigglier than usual.

Very touchy-feely, in either a romantic or platonic way.

He wants to be cuddled, you need to be the big spoon and he'll sob if you aren't. But on the rare occasion, he'll just want you to snuggle up to him by the campfire, your head resting in the curve of his neck as he giggles with you.

If anyone else is around then Sean will perk up. He suddenly has 100 stories to tell at once and oh boy, if you thought his story-telling was bad whilst drunk or sober, just you wait until he tries telling a story whilst high.

He's actually really considerate to the other camp members; not smoking close to them, not being a nuisance, hushing you and himself to try and keep the noise down.

Munchies galore as well. Sean will prep before getting high, heading into town to buy allllll the unhealthy snacks so he can pig-out with you.

Please just offer to suck his dick, mid-convo. He'll go "ah, you took the words right out of my mouth!" and then turn into putty to your touches. He gets very sensitive.

Kieran

This boy is either the calmest being in the world, or gets really paranoid and almost whiteys.

Kieran has to be in a really calm setting with someone he fully trusts, meaning you. He can't smoke in camp, he'll get super skittish, worried that Bill will appear out of nowhere and finally snip his balls off.

He's relaxed for once, lying back on the bed and asking you to join him.

He's the type to talk about cliché things like "do you believe aliens are real?" and "I think I saw a ghost the other day but I ain't too sure..."

The conversation will then trail into deeper things, like both of your backstories and how you ended up here. Kierans sympathetic whilst sober but he looks like he's about to cry for you whilst he's high.

And he probably will. His emotions are heightened whilst he's in this state so don't be surprised if you over-hear him sobbing.

Will cuddle you without even thinking about it and then jump off you, apologising over and over for crossing a boundary. Just give him a cuddle and he'll relax again, maybe a kiss on the temple if he still seems a little shaken up.

Dutch

Probably the worst person to get high with. Ever.

Suuuuuper skittish, especially if you smoke with him from chapter 3 onwards.

Will ask you 100 questions at once about 100 topics at once. He needs to cover EVERYTHING, especially current life events and what the future holds.

If you notice him snacking then don't mention it, not unless you want Dutch to start sobbing whilst stuffing his face, telling you that "I can eat what I want! I'm a healthy weight, a little treat isn't going to hurt me, is it?"

But after an hour or two he'll mellow out, finally relaxing and realising how heavy his eyes feel.

I hope you weren't planning on sleeping in your own bed tonight because Dutch is going to fall asleep on you before you can even consider getting up and going to bed.

[rigginsstreet]

Riverparents + OTH Dare Night - Who would they be paired up with, and what dares would they do?

fun! im just gonna assign them dares from the show unless i get a sudden creative spark but lets not push my mental capacity lmao

ok so hirams the new kid who sets it all up and pairs himself with hermione in an attempt to woo her. they absolutely do the dine and dash dare where hermiones catholic guilt eats away at her and hiram doesnt tell her til after the fact he already paid the waiter

i want both mary and sierra to be like “we’re not doing any of this im not risking jail time or permanent brain damage for a stupid dare night” but fortunately (for them) theyre paired with gladys who will do literally anything for the lolz lmfao so i give them peyton and haleys dares except sierra takes one for the team and actually eats the pickled egg and immediately voms. but she REFUSES to do the naughty church confessional and gladys is like “whatever i’ll do it im jewish it doesnt even matter” (marys like “i too am jewish but this still feels like bad juju”)

i KNOW fps the one who reads the card wrong and takes a shit in a mini golf course kdfjgnskjg also i would like to see him do the girl scout uniform dare. and the full body wax. so. he can get paired with...this is gonna be controversial but i kinda wanna say alice. cuz i think itd be hilarious if fp just annoyed the shit out of her all night

freds going solo having to return the ladies clothes and underwear to stores as hes wearing them. and then he would meet a random stranger who helps him run from mall security and they hook up in a photobooth. rip to hiram not having any siblings to fulfill this role but thats ok fred will make do

and that leaves tom alice and penelope (clifford does not participate in group activities. oh should we include marty? he can go with fp and alice lmao). anyway i wanna see hal do karaoke to a completely ridiculous song for him. i vote ice ice baby. while penelope and tom stand in the back as background singers lmfao and then having to steal an animal from the erpentarium, and hals like “everything in this place terrifies me” and tom is like “i dont feel so good about this” and penelopes like “stop being big babies” and just casually grabs like a corn snake or something little (cuz theyve gotta bring it back to the meet up as proof they stole something and its just more practical than a boa ya know? anyway she ends up bringing it back of course. or she sets it free in the wild... and idk if corn snakes live up north and im not googling it but penelope doesnt know if it can survive out there either but i know she had nothing but pure intentions so if it dies... whoops)

[dindiarin]

Hiiii so im just gonna be cheesy n gush a lil dont mind me

Sooo djdjbdjd ok how to start. This is so dramatic but i swear its like.. nothing BDJDBDH uM so I really just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying my time on here esp after like a year or so of not really being on here before mando s2 (uni/life etc this blog was just on queue or not even queuing i cant even remember) and esp these last few days (bc of smth that happened this time last year...h*artbr*ak omg vom) i was kinda like oh man im gonna be so down about what happened but honestly being on here and everyone being so wonderful and fun and sweet, ive been having such a blast jshdjjdjd and esp valentines day i was like oh lord will i be a depressed puddle but it was honestly so fkn fun and cute with all the edits going around and everyone sending each other cute messages it was soO cute!!

What im tryingggG to say is that ily u guys even after switching from marvel to mando i didnt lose mutuals and ive made new mutuals and not to be cheesy but fr ilu guys hdjdhdjjd even if ur new moots, the posts and vibes *chefs kiss*. Idk what the point of this post actually is and i am cringing HSJDBDJ

To literally everyone whos been amazing and nice in asks/messages/notes etc i really love u guys. I see all notifs(unless tumblr breaks or whatever) I am a dragon and all notifs are my gold coins HSBDJHDS i see u n ilu. Content creators, i am always cheering for u guys, i am in AWE of everything you make, from edits to gifs to art to stories, i am in lov HDJDBBDF ummM i cant believe the people who follow me follow me bc ... huh bskdndnjdbdj. From the people who always interact, to sometimes, and to those who are like who the FUCK is dindiarin... ilu VSKDBDJDJ if ur still reading this ur an angel lemme kiss ur forehead dbjdhdjd

to summarise: thought id be sad bc of life, wasn't bc you guys are all amazing . SBJDDB im screaming this so silly!! hdjdbdjdn

Okay..... how to end the cringiest post on the ENTIRE site

Ty for being amazing❤ IM GONNA THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF XX

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[k1ngj0ve]

(anxious noiseS)

completely misread a thread on twitter. I thought they were talking about “its awkward in games when characters introduce themselves as being trans straight away and pour out their heart about without being asked”.

someone responded “this is because of inquisition” and i said somethign to the effect of “inquisition has problems but i dont think that was one of them. You know Krem for 30 hours of gameplay, and if you are friends with Bull you will hear Krem make a binding joke, then you can ask if hes trans and he will say he is and answer a few questions you have. Afterthat he never brings it up again himself unless you ask questoins personally. Willing to answer questions after youve known one another for a while isnt the same as introducing yourself as trans unprompted. the conversation was definitely awkward but i liked it’

i thought this was a decent reply. non aggressive. friendly, very much an ‘in my personal opnioni’ type of thing

turns out i totally misread it!

the thread was sayign that good trans representation is for trans people to 100% transition and never let anyone know because trans people are invisible and only stupid sjw idiots announce their trans status and whine about pronouns

(sickly vomming noises)

ohhh i hate this. i hate this. this is why i dont talk to people. the dude i specifically responded to had 1500 followers and all he ever does is talk about hating inquisition and that biden stole the election and that coronavirus is a hoax. 

fucking cross your fingers for me lads that this dude doesnt decide to jump down my whole entire ass and get his followers to harrass me for being publically trans but not visibly transitioned

[undermattsun-archive]

i sent friend your skater hcs n we ft’d till we WERE WHEEZING also why are you ribs hurting pls check that out unless its a rando cramp side note: skater rats go to a party and play kings cup n the concoction is nasty frfr but u dont even have to dare skater rat mattsun to drink it,, he j thinks he’s hard for drinking rum coke ashed cigs n hot sauce,, tooru thinks he’s a legend

i think it’s mchurty bc i prolly sat like a lil goblin n stretched those muscles weird!! but omg i’m glad y’all got some good laughs from these hcs that’s all i want is for everyone to enjoy <3 and to suffer w me at the hands of skaters :)

god would i still fuckin make out w sk8r mattsun after he drank that?? probably??? n then prolly vom :(

[lostinthelightss]

literal chaos fire (ch.5)

amazing banner by @downn-in-flames​ / down-in-flames@FFT

find it elsewhere: fft | ao3 | ff.net | hpff learn more: chaos universe link to other chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 link to missing moments: 5.5, 7.5, 8.5, 15.5

pairing: Lily Luna Potter / OC genre: AU, Humor, Romance rating: mature audiences

summary:

Victoire Weasley is a masters student in infectious diseases handling a devastating break up with her girlfriend of two years. Lily Potter is a first year law student navigating a figurative minefield that is the star quarterback’s unrequited affection. Molly Weasley is pursuing her bachelors in engineering while pining over her best friend - who doesn’t seem to realize it.

Three women, three vastly different lives, all coming together with group chats, family dinners, and a whole lot of chaos.

chapter summary:

micky: ugh, where's my knight in shining armor

vicky: more like football player in a minivan

micky: im not picky

SEPTEMBER 25TH, 2021

‘the dopest house' (foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesanator, moollywoobbles, rose) 12:24am

rose: we found them rose: vic finally answered her phone rose: they were at a children's playground eating ice cream

foxyroxy: why?

rose: i dont know, these three are fucking chaotic when they're together around alcohol rose: yet somehow they managed to each buy a single tub of halo top and spoons???

foxyroxy: spoons?

rose: yeah, we're gonna have some new cutlery

foxyroxy: @jamesanator is doing a keg stand, but ill let him and fred know foxyroxy: will you be home soon?

rose: dropping vic off first since she was closest to the park, but after that we're coming straight there

foxyroxy: cool, because i just went upstairs and there are people in your room foxyroxy: and judging by the sounds they're making, they're not sleeping

rose: WHAT!??!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Scorpius Malfoy, William Flynn) 1:09am

Scorpius: hey, thanks so much for tonight Scorpius: i would say that they aren't usually like this but that would be a lie

1:28am

William: no worries man William: always happy to help a friend or three :)

Scorpius: sorry ur date didn't pan out

William: nah, it wasn't a date William: besides, i probably spent more time with her driving her home than if she'd stayed at the party

Scorpius: alright well rose is death staring at me so i gotta go Scorpius: thanks again Scorpius: and don't worry, she'll come around eventually

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘literal chaos fire' (psychiclilz, mollydramatic, VickyBaby) 7:10am

mollydramatic: remind me to move out asap mollydramatic: rose is so annoying in the mornings mollydramatic: *rise and shine, we have to clean* mollydramatic: i feel like im gonna vom

8:34am

psychiclilz: urgh i did vom psychiclilz: and it was blue

mollydramatic: wtf why?

psychiclilz: i had blueberry ice cream last night psychiclilz: remember? psychiclilz: you were so upset you demanded ice cream and since james locked up ur fridge we had to go to the store psychiclilz: and then we got lost psychiclilz: and then rose found us

mollydramatic: oooof mollydramatic: how'd we get home?

psychiclilz: urgh x 2 psychiclilz: flynn psychiclilz: and now scorp won't stop messaging me telling me that i have to at least take him on a date to say thank you

mollydramatic: just my two cents, but that sounds like a fair trade

psychiclilz: not you too

10:52am

VickyBaby: i mean if you're gonna take him on a date at least let us pay for it

mollydramatic: hey, i am not a part of this

psychiclilz: fine, deal

mollydramatic: wow, it's that easy to get you to date this guy? mollydramatic: but just to be clear, why am i paying for any of this?

VickyBaby: because her date was ruined when you coerced us into getting ice cream VickyBaby: and flynn drove us all home instead of having a good time VickyBaby: although @psychiclilz you were real quick to answer that with a yes... VickyBaby: did something happen last night?

psychiclilz: no, i just need scorp off my back psychiclilz: and this way i dont even have to pay

mollydramatic: evil woman

psychiclilz: *lawyer

mollydramatic: *witch

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(micky, vicky) 11:04am

micky: are you buying any of this?

vicky: not a chance vicky: something happened last night, we just have to figure out what

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Lily Potter, William Flynn) 12:39pm

Lily: hey, sorry about last night Lily: and thank you Lily: again

William: no worries :) William: glad to see ur still alive this morning

Lily: aha, yeah, thanks to you Lily: if you hadn't found us we probably never would've found our way back

William: again, no worries

Lily: i do want to say thank you though Lily: are you free thursday?

William: sorry, i've got practice 6am every weekday William: cant do weekday parties

Lily: oh, uh Lily: i was thinking more low key Lily: we could go to the Three Broomsticks, just hang out? Lily: but like if not i get it, ur busy

William: no, i would love that!

Lily: oh, cool! Lily: my class gets out at 5:20, i can meet you there at 6?

William: great! see u then!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Lily Potter, Scorpius Malfoy) 12:56pm

Lily: omg stop spamming me Lily: i asked him to dinner thursday, happy?

Scorpius: :)

Lily: ur a pain Lily: how does rose stand you?

Scorpius: i just asked Scorpius: "he's got a great tongue"

Lily: blech, wtf rose Lily: brb just gonna go bleach my eyeballs Lily: what is wrong with you two?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Scorpius Malfoy, William Flynn) 1:12pm

Scorpius: told u she'd come around

William: what?

Scorpius: ur date Scorpius: on thursday Scorpius: i told you she'd come around to the idea

William: thursday isn't a date William: we're just grabbing dinner

Scorpius: ... Scorpius: that's literally what a date is Scorpius: rose agrees - it's a date

William: unless she says that it's a date, im not going into it thinking its a date

Scorpius: where are you guys going?

William: the three broomsticks

Scorpius: its a date

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(micky, vicky) 6:37pm

micky: 1. i hate you for volunteering my money to send her on a date micky: 2. its gonna be so expensive because she's taking him to the three broomsticks micky: 3. omg shes taking him to the three broomsticks!!!! (scorp just told me)

vicky: something totally happened between them

micky: right?!?!?!? micky: ugh, where's my knight in shining armor

vicky: more like football player in a minivan

micky: im not picky

vicky: lol im aware vicky: also evan's pissed at me for ditching him last night vicky: apparently kayleigh ended things with him right before the party

micky: wow, not cool micky: but also, that means he's single right?

vicky: no, i am not setting you up with him vicky: that would be a disaster

micky: wow, rude

vicky: he just got out of a long term thing vicky: he's def not looking to settle down

micky: hey, ill be his rebound micky: hes so hot

vicky: no vicky: and anyways, dating family friends is not a good idea vicky: re: dom still talks to teddy and is trying to get me to unblock her from my phone

micky: dont you dare

vicky: im not going to, but it still sucks vicky: so no, ur not getting his number

micky: buzzkill...  micky: rose and malfoy are making it work

vicky: rose and scorpius are also insanely perfect for each other

micky: valid micky: fine, but if he asks about me you cant say no

vicky: *rolls eyes*

[mithliya]

I already experience 0 attraction to the male body but unless it’s sexually graphic, most descriptions of penises are just funny to me. But for some reason when men start describing their penises as “organic straps” “preheated straps” “attached straps” I want to vom. My attraction goes from 0% to -100%. It makes them 1000x more repulsive. Like can they please stop thinking their is any cute way to describe a fleshy meat version of an object?? Repulsive

i think the reason u want to vom (im just projecting here but maybe ur the same) is because theyre using wording that first implies that it is not a penis only for us to then process that they mean penis, and the fact that they describe their penises as ‘organic’ or ‘built in’ straps makes it sound like its something similar to an object that many lesbians can/do enjoy in bed. so it like. applies more personally to our sex lives and it feels liek thats what they want, they want it to be more applicable to us and they want to reframe it as somehow Not A Penis. which adds another gross layer

[jessiewre]

Day 48

Fri 21st Feb

Gede Ruins & Crab Shack

Breakfast was quite radical cos I had PEANUT BUTTER ON TOAST instead of a spanish omelette. Though Emily has rightfully pointed out that 95% of the spanish omelettes we’ve had so far are not actually spanish cos they’ve not had potato in. I’m still gonna call it that though cos they firmly believe its a spanish omelette over here and when in Rome...

We got a tuc tuc to the Gede ruins in an attempt to do something cultural and we even splashed out and paid a TOUR GUIDE to show us round. Ballers. $5 well spent cos I mean who (apart from Jenni Wretham) wants to read all the plaques if someone else can tell you everything 👌🏽

I would explain a bit about the ruins...but it wasn’t actually that interesting. It was good like but probably cos we were there I think? Anyway, the highlights of it were:

- Seeing the ‘Men’s Court’ which was massive with the ‘Women’s Court’ next to it the size of a broom cupboard (but hey, some would say we were lucky to even have a court right?).

- Some of the best names they’d given to rooms were ‘House of the Chinese Cash’ & ‘House of the Iron Lamp’ because during the excavation, they’d found a Chinese coin in one room and an iron lamp in the other. BOOM.

- But the best room was called ‘House of the Scissors’ because, yep, they found a pair of Spanish scissors in there. Apparently they were from Spain, but unless there’s potato in them, to me they are just scissors mate.

Our guide BuddyBuddy spoke with passion, almost like a poet storyteller, and at the end of the tour, we had a Jess classic chat about equality for women and respect. He bloody loved it and was like ‘You should come and speak to our community!’. I was like Uh what do you want me to say.

We got in a tuc tuc and decided to detour off to the Crab Shack restaurant for lunch as it was on the way, instead of for dinner as we’d planned. The tuc tuc driver casually said $8 for a journey we knew was $3, so we went sick at him and said that we weren’t stupid and that God was watching. Oooh hitting him right where it hurts there, that one always gets them. He took the $3 and scarpered.

Crab Shack was in a great location amongst the mangroves and the plank walkways to reach the restaurant were really cool. However, the moody unfriendly waitress that greeted us was definitely not cool. She had the WORST vibes, and as we went to our table, I was like ‘Are you ok?!’. She didn’t really react at first then kinda shrugged rudely and said ‘...I’m ok’. But she looked SO pissed off. I decided to not get annoyed, instead wondering what on earth had happened to her to make her so dead inside. She was like a dementor.

She wouldn’t let us sit on the table we wanted and then messed up our order and didn’t bring my ceviche starter (instead telling me I’d cancelled it). Fumin. When I asked for a bowl to clean my hands as I ate the prawns, she was like ‘Just go wash your hands at the sink’. At this point, I was like ‘No, get me a bowl please. Thanks’.

She turned up with a massive bowl omg it was like a bucket and all the staff were starring at me as I used it to keep cleaning my fingers 😂

I asked for ice for my juice and she came back over with no ice and starred at me like ‘We don’t have ice’. I said Ok and she just kept starring blankly at me. So I said Is there something else I can help you with? And after about 3 minutes (ok 5 seconds) of silent starring like a zombie she just went ‘...do you still want the juice...’ .

Phil’s vege curry was a 3/10 and by this point he was just desperate to leave (these two negative people had bought him down - tuc tuc driver and moody waitress) - so I ordered a tuc tuc. Different driver OBVS. Before he arrived though, another came to drop people off and Phil was SO KEEN to get in. Well, I mean he literally did get in. But I didn’t want to be a prick so said we had to wait for the one I’d ordered and Phil was not happy at all...but in the time we waited, I spotted baboons walking through the mangroves and got a right nice photo - so it all worked out in the end 😬 Phil’s mood was sinking at high speed though - it was a code red situation - and by the time we got back to the hotel, he needed a little lie down the poor wee worm. The Crab Shack experience had really upset the little lamb so we watched an episode of the Crown and Phil got his wee head to sleep for a few hours. Vom ‘o’ clock.

The first thing he said when he woke up a few hours later was

‘I hated that Crab Shack’.

😂😂😂

We got ourselves ready and went back to our Swahili place crossing our fingers it was open. And it was 🥳

I popped into the tailors next door (they place I’d been in a few nights before telling them about girl power) and they were like ‘Look its the teacher!’. I gave in a few bits to get fixed while Phil got the juices in (NO BEER AGAIN) and we ordered the nice vegetable selection and biryani.

But they bought our food out in stages, starting with rice part without the vege ffs, so we waited 10 minutes for veg and then he only bought out 1 of the 3 veg. It was all a bit weird and then some knobheads started playing music on their phones really loud so we cancelled the 2 veg that wasn’t ready and ate up.

I guess it sounds like we had a really annoying day but we actually didn’t, it was good like.

Went back home for more Crown and found a moment where someone says Npeter in it (which Luke told me was one of the top popular posh names of 2018 or something, but the N was silent lollllll) and it made my day 😂.

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

SIIIIIIIIIGH!..........

 Once again work has sapped me of all of my energy and creativity and has made me a literal zombie. Twelve hour shifts will do that to you. The good news is in a few weeks my work will go back to eight hours shifts so maybe I wont be so drained. It may not seem like a big difference but let me assure you: Those four extra hours a day make all the difference in the world! 

But until the new chapter is finished I figured I would post the first part of it. It’s not much, but it includes an old friend. Hopefully I’ll finish the chapter soon, but I can’t make any promises.

Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

                 “This now concludes your Limbo experience with your loved one in mortal peril. Welcome back to the Land of the Dead. Please remain seated until your assigned attendant can safely remove your Limbo Lenses and motion gloves.”

               With a flick of his wrist old man Chicharrón flung away the prepared pamphlet of sayings, that he really should have memorized by now after all these years but refused to do it purely out of spite, onto his desk and with a grunt hopped off his chair and out of the office. Grumbling quietly to himself he made his way over to the little girl sitting on the oversized lounge chair with that stupid contraption wrapped around her head and gloves covering her hands. ‘Very advanced technology’ some of the higher ups had told him when the Limbo Lenses were first produced. ‘We can now make the transition from life to death much faster for those stuck in Limbo. And make it peaceful too’

Advanced? Pah. Nothing advanced about ugly purple oven mitts with a thousand wires coming out the ends and what looked like lit up aviator goggles with five-foot-long antennae wobbling back and forth. It was ridiculous looking and very complicated to start up and shut down. After performing quite a few Limbo runs with other skeletons Chich should have now been able to do it in his sleep without having to consult the manual every time. But he refused to learn it. Again, out of spite.

With a few knob twists and buttons pushed steam was let out of the goggles, letting Chich safely remove them from his client. The little girl blinked rapidly, letting her eyes adjust to the natural light, while he also slipped the gloves off her hands. She clenched her phalanges thoughtfully as she stared at them, as if coming down back from reality. They were not soft light anymore, but healthy white bones. With a sigh she looked up at Chich, and flinched back at his glare.

“What?”

“What were you told to do?” Chich asked with his arms crossed as he glared at her.

“Uh…”

With a huff he turned to stomp back into his office, grab something and came back in, waving a piece of paper. “Leticia Rivera. When you signed out the forms letting you progress into Limbo, you specifically checked the LIFE box. That is to say you were going to coax your father back into the Land of the Living so he can live out his happy little life. And what were the specifications of going the life route?”

“Um…”

“Vagueness. You were told to be as vague as possible. No clues about who you are, what you want, not even if you were male or female. Just a non-threatening, anonymous entity to lead Héctor Rivera back to life. And exactly what did you say to him?”

Leti looked down at her hands sheepishly, picking at a ridge in her knuckle joint, and softly mumbled, “Feel better Papá?”

“Papá! Exactamente!” Chich paced in front of Leti and continued to grumble. “If you had checked the DEATH box, you could have called him Papá, Papi, Papita, I don’t care. But you checked LIFE. Unless he has more dead kids that I’m not aware of he would have known it was you, and would have been pulled into the Land of the Dead, which means I’d have to refile the paperwork and probably get a citation for poor Limbo management skills again. Then I’d have to go to that stupid retraining seminar and-”

“What does it matter?”

A small, teary voice interrupted Chich’s little tirade. He turned sharply towards the girl to chastise her, but his brows shot up in alarm. Leti’s mouth was in a thin trembling line and her eyes were glossy with unshed tears as she hugged herself. The angry words that had been flowing freely out of his mouth before were now stuck in his throat as he watched the little girl slightly curl forward with a sniffle.

“He won’t remember anything that happens, right? It doesn’t matter what I said. I just wanted to… somehow show him that he was safe, that he shouldn’t be afraid. That I lo… love him so much.” And much to the old skeleton’s horror, Leti covered her face with her hands and started to cry like a child.

Because that’s what she was. Not some absent-minded simpleton who barely skimmed through the instruction manual and promptly forgot the rules.

She was a child, separated from her father, who just wanted to speak to him one last time.

Mierda.

As Leti continued to gently weep, Chich made a quick dash to his office and pulled out his metal lunch kit. Flipping it open he tossed aside the sandwich and pulled out a bottle of his favorite apple soda and a freshly baked concha wrapped in a napkin. His non-existent gut clenched at the thought of losing his dessert, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Making his way back to Leta, he loudly clunked the bottle on the table next to her. Startled, the little skeleton looked up and saw the snacks sitting next to her, then looked at Chich with confusion.

“Uh… p-please remain seated for at least ten minutes after the removal of your Limbo Lenses and gloves.” Chich stammered as he tried to come up with what he hoped was legit sounding instructions off the top of his head. “Transferring from light-ball to bone can lead to some troubling side effects, including dizziness, nausea, vomiting-”

“But skeletons can’t vom-”

“Ah you’d think that, si?” Chich chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck. “W-well… That’s true for normal skeletons! But when you turn into a ball of light it uh-… messes with all the bone molecules and particles and monocles… that can cause physical ailments that mimic real life illnesses. Very scientific stuff, you wouldn’t understand. But anyway, to combat this, the Department of Family Reunions offers you these complimentary snacks to aid you in your recovery.”

Leti looked at the soda and pan dulce morosely for a bit and sniffled. “I don’t feel sick. I don’t need it.”

“I am not legally allowed to let you leave without eating something. Stupid rules, I know, but trust me it will make you feel better. Here, I’ll even open the bottle for you.”

Taking the bottle from the table he jammed the mouth of it into his eye socket and squinted down hard. With a jerk he popped the cap of the bottle off, letting it fall and clatter into his skull. As he handed the bottle back to Leti he tilted his head back and spit the cap into the air, catching it neatly between two fingers.

“Woah!” Leti exclaimed as she took the soda. “I didn’t know we could do that!”

Chich chuckled as he tossed the cap into the trash bin. “When you’ve been dead as long as me you learn to get creative with your bones. Helps pass the time. Now eat up.”

They sat there quietly for a few minutes while Leti slowly ate the concha. Her amazement at Chich’s trick faded quickly and her sadness returned, making each bite look painful as she swallowed. Chich twiddled his thumbs as he watched her, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to find something else to say to make her feel better. As he racked his brain trying to think of something, Leti again spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

Chich blinked at her in confusion. “Que?”

Leti mumbled around the lip of the bottle. “I’m sorry I broke the rules. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“Aw.” Chich pulled the green visor from the top of his head and rubbed awkwardly on his bald skull. “You didn’t get me in trouble, and you didn’t break the rules. Look chica: the thing about viejos like me is… We feel that we’ve earned the right to be cantankerous and ornery with people. So, if any little thing bugs us, we feel that its within our rights to blow it way out of proportion. But I shouldn’t have lost my temper at a kid. And for that I’m sorry.”

Leti nodded slowly at the apology, but still looked to down-hearted for Chich’s liking. With a smile he leaned over to her. “For the record I think you did a good thing.”

Leti looked up at him. “I did?”

“Si.” Chich crossed his arms and leant back in his chair. “Most kids would want to have their parents join them in death as soon as possible. But not you. And not because you don’t love your parents, it’s because that you do. You love them enough to let them live out their natural lives. When you checked the LIFE box I was very surprised and impressed. Shows that you’re very mature.”

Leti smiled faintly at the praise. “My little brother needs his Papá.”

Chich nodded sagely, then chuckled a little to himself. “Though you did beat your Papá up, so you’re not that mature.”

Leti scoffed at him and pouted. “I didn’t beat him up! I simply… knocked some sense into him. You don’t know what he’s like. He’s pretty dense! Do you know what happened on Dia de Muertos three years ago?”

They chatted for a few more minutes, laughing at stories while Leti finished eating and Chich finished the paperwork. Once Leti signed the last form she drained the apple soda to the last drop and handed Chich the bottle.

“Gracias for the snack, Señor Chicharrón. It did help after all. All of my… monocles are in perfect working order.” She said with a smirk as she formed a circle with her fingers and held it up to her eye.

Ah, she figured it out.

“Hmmph,” Chich grunted and snatched the bottle to toss it in the bin. “You’re pretty smart for a kid.”

Leti puffed out her chest. “Well, technically I am twenty years old.”

Chich sneered. “Oh ho ho! Such a wealth of wisdom you must have then.” With a final signature he put the last paper in the outgoing folder and closed it up. “Okay chica, you’re all finished. Want me to call your abuelos to let them know you’re done?”

“Nah, they already know I’m going to Shantytown afterwards.”

Chich’s eyebrows shot up again at that. “Shantytown?”

“Si!” Leti nodded happily. “I’ve gotta go tell Nieve all about what I saw and what I did. I just know she’ll be dying to know! Or- well- you know what I mean. Adios!” A spring back in her step she made her way out the door and down the hallway. Before Chich could settle back down he heard the screech of shoes on the linoleum floor and Leti was back in the doorway. “Oh! And you’ll let me know when Tio Nesto is here?”

Chich waved her off. “Once he’s in the ground we’ll let you know, don’t worry. Go on now.”

“Great! Gracias Señor Chicharrón!” With one last smile Leti dashed out the door, leaving Chich in the peace and quiet of his office.

“Weird kid.” Chich said with a shake of his head as he pulled a newspaper out of his desk. “Who in their right mind would want to go to Shantytown?” As he settled down for his afternoon break with his paper and his lunch- now sans dessert- Chich couldn’t help but smile.

Weird kid indeed.

But very sweet too.