#unless its an intentional deviation which is different

[deeism]

was it ever established if dee & dennis slept in separate rooms or the same 1 growing up. bc in my head i like to think that despite their stupidly big house frank & barbara just shoved them both in the same room so theyd have more space to do wtv in the rest of the house. but im actually not sure if that contradicts canon in some way? i dont remember if it was ever mentioned

[lbhslefttiddie]

instead of drawing any of the things that actually happened in ch 17, i present: the hypothetical scenario in which sqq and nyy had in fact left cqms!! some notes about roughly how it wouldve gone below:

Eventually nyy will figure out sqq is also an omega—eventually he will run out of the fake scent from the WRP and will need a new one, and he would not be able to obtain the exact same scent from a different manufacturer

This does mean sqq will continue to use suppressants, which is like. Not good for his health. BUT the rate of decay is greatly slowed after removing himself from the most stressful parts of his previous life

He does still have heart demons, he does still qi deviate periodically (and also bc they ran away, there are certain grievances and loose threads it is now impossible for him to resolve). But his death is now at least a decade away when before it was like. He could literally die the very next qi deviation he has

Nyy, however, will present and grow up as normally as possible in this regard—sqq has no intention of letting her suffer the same health problems hes given himself, and she'll be safe, because sqq will be there to protect her

I imagine them both as decidedly average cooks, with sqq being slighty better, but in this au nyy will improve somewhat, taking on cooking as one of the things she can do to help when it will be a very long time before sqq allows her to fight for real

He does still teach her (though he's once again become Gege instead of Shizun, rid of the formality and structure of the sect), and he brings her along on the less dangerous explorations

Because this is no longer qing jing, sqq only really teaches her the things she needs or wants to learn, and so they discover her musical aptitude much earlier on

SQQ took Xiu Ya with him, of course, but because that sword is tied to his reputation as a peak lord, and is pretty widely recognizable (and thus, traceable) he doesnt use it unless its an emergency, keeping it stored in (one of) his qiankun pouches. Instead, he carries a regular (inferior) sword for general purposes

[inkybinkyboink]

a casual essay on breaking bad as a piece of queer media

word count: 2280

spoiler warning for breaking bad, better call saul and el camino!

essay is under the cut!

its safe to say that the breaking bad cinematic universe is one of the most successful pieces of storytelling in film we have ever come across. all three parts of the story, breaking bad, better call saul and el camino are well known to have all gotten very successful ratings and have been well received by the majority of its viewers. something incredibly fascinating about all three of these pieces of media is the theme of love, and how love doesn't take a place as a B plot, but is rather tightly woven in to the main idea. on top of that, it's execution on screen diverts from the typical imagery we frequently see in film and tv. love and affection is tailored to the characters themselves, and sex is not included unless it's absolutely necessary, or if it furthers the plot. none of the love and affection is gratuitous which makes it all the more meaningful when it does happen, because you know theres an inherent intention behind it.

more specifically, the writing team of the breaking bad cinematic universe don't approach their story with a heteronormative perspective, and not limiting their ideas on gender expression when it comes to the characters. by observing specific instances of this occurring (in no particular order), a greater understanding of not only the characters, but their relationships with others can be obtained.

something that can easily be observed occurring in all breaking bad, better call saul and el camino is the sheer amount of homoeroticism the respective stories contain. homoeroticism is portrayed differently depending on who's doing the writing and filming. for example, kathryn bigelow is well known for her portrayal of homoeroticism typically shot in tandem with violence, with men fighting each other, but very intimately. vince gilligan and co take a different approach, including homoerotic, or same sex affection that is really quite gentle in many occasions. el camino is a good guide for this. over and over we get instances of men being gentle and close with one another, adjusting the action to fit the tone, regardless of if it deviates from the gender stereotype. jesse leaning his nose against the back of casey's head, panicked, allows the viewer to gather just how desperate jesse is, opposed to something heteronormative and stereotypical, like jesse fighting his way out of the situation. and it's not just that instance we see that intimacy between men. other notable scenes include todd lifting jesse's chin up, or neil staring casey down mere inches from his face. in the case of el camino, gentle and quiet intimacy is used as a vessel for control, contrasted to the modern mainstream stereotype that men have to be strong, loud and rather angry all of the time. badger and skinny pete provide a good example as well. they live together in a house and they just vibe. there's a trampoline outside in their yard, and they're clearly happy being around each other all the time. the idea that "boys don't cry" is almost non-existent in the breaking bad universe.

if we look at better call saul, we see this idea of homoeroticism being perpetuated. we see it a little bit, albeit in a slightly different light with amber, nikki and jo. what's interesting about the three girls is that it's never verbally confirmed the state of their relationship both with each other and with nacho. for all we know, they could just be friends, and it's the open endedness of their relationship that reinforces the representation of gender stereotypes and homoeroticism in the story. by that logic, you could assume badger and skinny pete were together too, because there's no qualifiers that inherently say for certain that they are or aren't together romantically. even in the light that the girls and nacho are dating, the point still stands, because it makes it representation for polyamory. the beautiful thing about nacho and his two to three weed smoking girlfriends is the gentility that accompanies them. falling back onto the point of sex not being a gratuitous device, we never see nacho or the girls doing anything remotely sexual. they are simply together in the most literal sense possible.

perhaps the most biting example of homoeroticism being prevalent though, has to do with lalo salamanca and howard hamlin. these two characters, who meet exactly once, and who have little to nothing in common, upon being murdered are lowered into a pit where they will spend eternity together. the thing is, the characters who cleaned up after the murders arguably didnt have to do this. they didn't have to bury lalo and howard together, but they did. the concept is almost laughable because of how absurd it is in nature, but i think that's what makes it so good. not only are they buried together, but their positions mimic real photos of male skeletons being found together holding one another, leading the public to theorize that they may have been gay lovers. it's both beautiful and sad, but also funny because conceivably, the skeletons of howard hamlin and lalo salamanca could be found and assumed to be gay lovers. if that doesn't scream "homoeroticism" i don't know what does.

sifting through all this gay talk, we actually find a real gay in the mix. owner of the cock brothers- i mean los pollos hermanos- gustavo fring. gustavo fring, in my opinion, is one of the best examples of queer rep that exists. though him being gay wasnt something that came out until after the show, gus being gay wasn't an afterthought. it wasn't something tacked on like j. k. r/wl/ng saying dumbledore was gay. you can tell this was a character written to be queer, the subtext is absolutely there, and it's covertness is what makes it all the more beautiful, and makes gus such a strong character. what's fascinating about gus is that his relationship with max is one of the few established and prioritized relationships in breaking bad and better call saul. gus is strongly motivated by max's death, or for the sake of keeping all our ducks in a row, motivated by his lover. the only other people to do this are jimmy and kim, and walter and skyler.

this is where the idea of the theme of love not taking a backseat really gets kicked into high gear. because the theme of love is so closely woven in with the main plot, the actions a character makes are going to, at least in part, be made because of their loved ones. if we look at gus, this is arguably all we see. he's a man born into poverty, who built himself up from nothing, only to continue to be held back by societies views on something you literally have no way of controlling. it's the one thing you cant "fix" or "work around". especially in the 80′s. despite that hindrance, he still finds someone who loves him unconditionally, who he clicks with, he can work with no matter what, and then that's ripped away from him. it's ripped away from him in the most traumatic way possible. the thing is, gus cant tell anyone about it. he can't even say "i lost my partner" and disguise it as something its not because that would mean outing himself as a gay man in the 80′s.

this is only reinforced in better call saul near the end of season 6, when we see gus go to a restaurant to drink some wine. he runs into an old friend called dave and dave decided to sit down and chat for a little bit. and the thing is, gus is this kind of quiet, very professional, almost superficial guy, but when talking to dave, he's interested and smiling, and it could be inferred he likes this guy a lot, maybe he's even flirting a little bit. it's so different from the gus we're familiar with. and yet, when dave leaves for a moment, we get this incredible close up of gus and i swear to god you can see the cogs moving in his mind. you can see him thinking about what it would mean to pursue a relationship. like clockwork you see him want, realize, hurt, and decide. you see gus decide he doesn't want to keep talking to dave despite his clear interest. whether that's because he doesn't want dave to get caught in the crossfire, or something to do with max is something only the actor would know, but the actions and verbs giancarlo esposito plays come across loud and clear. along with the cinematography, it makes one of the most heartbreaking and well done scenes my amateur ass has seen in a while.

almost all of what we learn about gus' true feelings and past is learned through subtext, or nonverbal communication. not only does this highlight the writing quality of this show, but esposito's acting skill, and ability to shape and build a character. gus is outwardly a villain, but has motivations based in good, something that's universal among many breaking bad characters. all of them do shitty things, but with good intentions, because they think what they're doing is justifiable. no character is purely good or purely bad, they're all just human.

gus' love for max is highlighted most in the fact that gus built a village for him. and not just a village, god no, that would be too easy, but a village dedicated to healing, peace and pure love. not only that but the entire scene between mike and gus has a big fucking highlighted flag on it that says "im literally telling you gus thinks he's in the right doing these things". gus thinks he's in the right to hurt the salamancas and take revenge because they killed max. and he explains this. next to a pond. dedicated to max.

the desire to get justice for a loved one is a pretty universally relatable concept. the want for someone you truly love to live a long, happy life is understandable, so when they don't get that in one way or another, it's upsetting. this idea is shared by gus and mike. gus who wants revenge for max, and mike who understands the will for revenge because of his son, matty. mike is never told explicitly that the village is for gus' dead boyfriend, but he doesn't need to be told. all he needs to be told is "you understand preserving the love you have for someone, and you understand the thirst for revenge".

the theme of love in the breaking bad universe is such a universally understood thing that it wouldn't make sense to confine it to one cookie cutter figure in the first place. it's a good show because none of the characters rely on explicit gender norms to back up their personalities. except for jesse, none of them are hesitant to do things that may make them appear as more or less masculine or feminine. and even though jesse starts off the show as that exception, by the end he comes out the most open-minded out of all of them.

this openminded-ness is stretched across most characters, from saul saying things like "bring your boyfriend or girlfriend to court with you", to lalo referring to max as gus' "boyfriend" even though hector had previously explicitly referred to max using derogatory slurs. breaking bad, better call saul, and el camino aren't love stories. theyre not of the romance genre, but the idea of love is painfully present in all three. love that is romantic, like in the case of max and gus, and jesse and jane is soft and precious. love that is anything but is still just as heart wrenching. jesse hugging walter after jane dies, nacho gently taking the remote from jo, jimmy taking care of chuck, lalo faking his death and only telling hector he's still alive, they're all the product of love, regardless of how fucked up it is conceptually.

the breaking bad cinematic universe has recently had a sort of comeback in the fandom. this could very well be because better call saul ended less than a year ago as of writing this, but i would argue it also has to do with all of the aforementioned points. re: the point about characters not needing to fall back on stereotypes- it's something that is frequently seen in specifically queer circles. a lot of folks who participate in what i guess could be considered fandom culture identify with the queer community as well, because of the large part of fandom culture that is open and accepting of the queer community. breaking bad fits right in by design because of its lack of gender stereotypes.

breaking bad and it's companion are incredible pieces of storytelling, and that doesn't need to be said. obviously, theres more than one answer as to why they are actually so well done and successful. the plot extends far, far beyond just the theme of love, and there's so much more to the story than love. however, you can't look at those other themes and messages without considering the influence of the themes of love, care and affection. part of the reason breaking bad is so good, is because the fundamental concepts are conceptual and relatable. it's people doing what they think is right in order to provide or give to those they care about. as long as you can get one foot in the door, you can weasel your way into understanding everything else. i think that starts with the theme of love. because what is not more relatable than giving to those you truly care about?

[asherlockstudy]

I’m excited to read any thoughts you have about the new R&L video!

Thank you! 🥺 I was actually unsure whether I would make a post about it or not, but how can I say no now hehehe I also delayed the answer hoping Ear Biscuits would illuminate some darker, unclear parts, but they didn’t.

The new video is lighter on the symbolism (its premise is symbolic but the details are less so) because of the inclusion of other, almost certainly unaware people. These people inevitably make the video less precise in its intention to be an allegory, because they have their own way of reacting to the situation, particularly Brian the exorcist. For example, I believe the part where they meet Brian in his studio and everything that happens there bears no symbolism at all. They just found the situation too weird to not include it in the final edit of the video. Furthermore, the longest part of the video is a dice game based on luck which makes it certain that many parts could deviate significantly from the symbolic premise.

The symbolism is almost certainly their struggles in their romantic pursuits until their marriages, with the shadow of the religious preachings always inside their minds. The church and their involvement with it is Brian. Brian does not want them to play D&D (have sex) unless there are the right circumstances, no magic, no violence (no homoerotic, not before marriage).

It’s interesting how in order to get into this game, they stress the most fundamental thing they have to do is to change identities and roleplay, and they ask Brian to accept that they will be using other characters. This might symbolise some insincerity in the way they were getting involved romantically with people in their youth.

Rhett’s character is a human warlock. From D&D Beyond:

A warlock is defined by a pact with an otherworldly being. Sometimes the relationship between warlock and patron is like that of a cleric and a deity (…). Warlocks are driven by an insatiable need for knowledge and power, which compels them into their pacts and shapes their lives. This thirst drives warlocks into their pacts and shapes their later careers as well.

So, you see, this paints Rhett perfectly. This is about Rhett being an - once dedicated - missionary and driven by his intellectual and spiritual concerns. His character’s name, Dothan, means “law”, “custom”.

Link’s character is a half man - half elf rogue. There is a duality here. From D&D Beyond:

Walking in two worlds but truly belonging to neither (…) Some half-elves live among humans, set apart by their emotional and physical differences, watching friends and loved ones age while time barely touches them. Others live with the elves, growing restless as they reach adulthood in the timeless elven realms, while their peers continue to live as children. Many half-elves, unable to fit into either society, choose lives of solitary wandering or join with other misfits and outcasts in the adventuring life.

I see two ways this can relate to Link. He often describes himself as a man-child. And then it could also be that he is uncertain in his sexuality, neither here nor there. At this point Link constantly speaks about the importance of accepting and loving your unique self, even if you feel like a misfit.

As a rogue, according to D&D Beyond:

When it comes to combat, rogues prioritize cunning over brute strength. (…) Rogues have an almost supernatural knack for avoiding danger.

Interestingly, his character’s name, Anwir, means “liar”.

Link adds more to his backstory, making his character to actively seek his elvish father in order to take revenge from him. Link as Anwir also goes through a wild rage at which he screams he has to see this adventure to the end and not become like his father. For those who are relatively new to Rhett and Link, know that Link added this element to his character straight from his own experience. Charles seems like a lovely dude and he and Link get along very well and happily but this is a recent development. Charles was not a good father during Link’s childhood. He left his mother and saw Link rarely. Link went through severe feelings of paternal neglect and abandonment during his childhood and adolescence. Link and his mother were actually taken care of by Charles’ parents, if I am not mistaken, and yet Charles wasn’t there in Link’s everyday life. Link has spoken many times in the past about how terrified he was as a young man that he would become like his father and would not become a good husband and dad. A lot of his self-beating up in his youth was because he did not want to be like him, which might suggest that deep inside he had solid reasons to fear he could end up being an unreliable husband or father. Link speaks much less about this now that his relationship with his dad has warmed up more than ever. I believe Charles has softened with age too.

Their co-players symbolise Christy and Jessie. A tall blonde and a short brunette. The tall blonde being a Druid, AKA a magical priestess very close to nature. The Druids considered trees sacred. Christy is obsessed with plants. Her character’s name, Emaris, means “industrious”.

The Brunette, Xalia, is a Tiefling Paladin. Tieflings are creatures with a partly demonic ancestry which however are not evil themselves. A Paladin is a knight committed to some holy quest, to justice or to a pure deity. So we have a character who is fighting for the good and for justice even though they have questionable or dual origin. The real, historical Paladins were knights in Charlemagne’s court by the way. Jessie has some French ancestry, I think. The duality in this case is unclear to me (some pages on the internet say she was raised by her mother, which would make her similar to the duality of Link’s character) or, who knows, it could be a sexual implication as well, and anyway Rhett has said Jessie had her very own journey of processing herself after their alienation from the Church. But she is a very warm and friendly person, undoubtedly interested in justice and doing good, just like Xalia. Xalia is an invented name, probably meaning something like “follower”, “compromising” or “God’s messenger”.

It is clear by now that the characters were chosen neither randomly nor lightly. Rhett and Link clarified both women are seasoned and established players. What I do not know, as I also haven’t watched the MS extras, is whether those characters are genuine characters these women play or they were given to them for this video in specific. Rhett and Link however said that the players were informed beforehand about the peculiarities and what was expected of them and were ready for it.

There’s also Lemar who is there as a dungeon master. He’s a real dungeon master. I don’t think there is any underlying significance in him. He must have been useful in helping them making all the connections they wanted (finding suitable players, characters, challenges etc). BTW he seemed like a great dungeon master and person.

Dothan and Anwir are partners travelling on one horse. Lemar says only that they had visions - demonic according to Brian - before they enter a small town. They don’t talk about the visions again in the final edit of the game so I wonder what the point was. My guess is visions = fantasies. Dothan and Anwir reach the small town and go to the inn, ready to mingle, as maybe the visions have been piling up.

Rhett and Link are awkward in their initial interactions with the two women, mostly due to Brian, probably like their adherence to the preaching was making their romances harder.

The first challenge they have is confronting five guys who want to steal and eat their horse. I am not sure whether there is a symbolism in this. Link leads in the confront… and in the awkwardness. Rhett names his magic “chemistry” and then does a silly illusion trick on the guy. The blonde woman sprays poison at him. Link goes on a rage about how he must not be like his father, steals the man’s sword but then his hit falls flat. My bet is that there is a symbolism in all this though but for me it is clearer on Rhett’s part.

Game-Rhett: I have a confession to make to the group, okay? That is, I can do magic but it’s not technically magic, it’s chemistry. I mean it looks crazy, it’s all fire and things but -

The Brunette shows understanding and acceptance.

Commentator!Rhett: I thought it was pretty clever, coming up with a way to always explain magic as some natural process but… is this tricking the demons? Are the demons like “he’s about to cast a spell…? Oh no, it’s a chemical reaction. We’re cool, God.”

To me, this sounds very much like Rhett’s explanation of how in his very hormone-driven puberty he was trying to have sex without having actual sex in every way possible and he had ways to justify every time how it wasn’t “actual sex” without a particular toll in his mental and spiritual well-being. It is interesting though that the enemies are all men. We don’t see the brunette interacting with them (Jessie was underage when everyone else was an adult), the blonde repels them effectively (Christy was a tough cookie very determined in her Christian upbringing), Rhett of course calls his magic chemistry and does a trick (raging wanking, foreplay and just constant self-manipulation that everything is all right) and of course Link wants to full-on attack but struggles and fails. Again, this is a dice game so I don’t know how much of it was random or edited, but the first challenge could be their temptations before marriage.

The next challenge is the one in front of the 4 evergreen trees (as many as the players) where there is a portal, a breakthrough in other words. While Rhett and Link acknowledge the portal is enchanted or demonic, they all know at this point that they are definitely going through the portal and so do the two women. Rhett first sticks his arm in the hole, because of course he does, which produces a snake ring in his finger, and the two ladies follow without much concern. This is a challenging task, once more, for Link. He is afraid but, in his words, he does not want to be left behind alone and he doesn’t want to be like his father (initiating and then abandoning marriages and families). Once they are all through the portal they link arms in a friendship circle (or marriage circle, I would say).

The world beside the portal is hostile though. They fall deep and a giant demon appears. Rhett is compelled to use the ring and summon a snake. With his snake (with whose symbolism they can’t be entirely liberal because Brian restricted them) he manages to constrict and immobilise the demon. Then Link does his sneak attack and gives the demon a very big hit. While Link praises himself for this, Rhett reminds him that it wouldn’t have been so easy for Link if Rhett had not bound the demon first. They kept on fighting the demon until it is defeated. Link dangles from the demon’s nipples, shrieking his victory over the demon and his father, whom he has now proven to surpass. Once they are done with the demon, they all four hop on that one horse and go on about their lives together.

Rhett and Link congratulate each other over this exhilarating experience. The video ends with a sense of success for all four of them. Before the end though, Brian burns the dice with which Rhett and Link played the game, at the fear of demons lurking there. The end is very abrupt, with a final shot on the dice burning, without proper or gradual closure like in the Dig A Hole video, and to me it looked very intentional. It gives off a feeling that although the video ends in a good note, this all-is-well success won’t last forever.

PS: As a last note, because I can’t stick it anywhere else, in his solo ear biscuit Link had revealed that the video would be about “a year” but apparently he was actually talking about the next video, the upcoming one. Unless it was about the year of their marriage but there is no reference to any year whatsoever in this video so I guess the year is going to be the third one.

[reflections-of-mobius]

Anonymous asked:

Resilience for Murk?

[Positive Psychology OC Ask Meme! | Accepting!]

RESILIENCE– How do they handle loss or failure? What helps them stay resilient and bounce back from loss or failure?

That mostly depends on the source of its failure. If Murk fails in a task that has no opposing force (i.e., a timed task or project for which he is not skilled), then he just accepts the loss and moves forward- with plans forming for how to better handle it in the future. However, if he's presented with a failure caused by another party (i.e., losing a competition, or the entirety of Sonic 06) then it hits him very hard. Think- willing to get revenge hard- but he's working on toning that down, especially now that he no longer has the goal of world-wide destruction/combining with Iblis to drive him forward.

For Murk, the thing that helps it stand back up after a loss is simply 'I will try again- and next time, I will succeed'. It's driven by a need to do its best. The loss brought about from Sonic 06 brought him low, sure- but it was also a freedom for him, and an awakening. It freed him from the chains of craving being Solaris- and it showed him what it was like to be the loser- something he had refused to accept, initially, when it was captured years prior for research purposes.

There were several of these, the others will all be under a cut!

Wisdom for Bless! Or is it Bliss?

WISDOM– Are they open to other people’s perspectives? Do they look to history and past mistakes? What kinds of internal dialogue do they have about difficult situations?

It's Bless, you were right on the mark! And Bless is usually open to other's perspectives. While he won't deviate from his own unless he finds the new perspective to be better, Bless would never cut someone down for having a differing outlook compared to him. After all, that's part of what makes life interesting- and you aren't always going to meet people you agree with! It's more fun to learn where the differences lie, and continue forward regardless.

Short of killing others, Bless doesn't look to others' past mistakes to judge them on. He knows that not everyone has a good life, and sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do- but he holds a line at taking a life. Unless it's for a damn good reason, i.e., because that person was intent on torture, murder, global domination, experimenting on sentient subjects, etc.,- he's against it. Of course, like anyone- Bless can also step over that line (try to kill his friends or his enbyfriend and you're fucked)... So he'd still be willing to hear someone out if they had a history of murder.

As for his internal dialogue- it's pretty upbeat! Even in rough situations, he's usually looking for a way to cool everyone down and diffuse whatever's got everyone up-at-arms. However, if it's a fight... There's usually a few dozen quips just on the tip of his tongue, alongside a general battle plan (factoring in everyone who's on his side and their abilities vs. the enemies' abilities, of course).

Leadership for Node

LEADERSHIP– Do they have clear, set goals? Do they take the consideration of others, or do what they will? Would they go out of their way to meet the individual needs of people around them, or create a more standardized all-in-one solution?

Node... Has no big, set goals with their life. Much like their boyfriend, Bless, they tend to just go with the flow.- With how many times Mobius has been threatened, and the amount of destruction that's unfolded, they worry about trying to set long-term plans, only for them to result in failure. However, in terms of little things, Node does hope someday to start selling their own homemade candles.

Node always lends a helping hand to those around them- often to their own detriment, actually. Even if they're burnt out or on the edge of collapse, they'll still try to help others... Something that has had Bless quietly trying to gesture for whoever's been talking to Node to say no.

As you can guess from the above, Node prefers to offer personalized solutions over generalized solutions. If they can, they'd rather make everyone happy by individualizing the solution as opposed to making something for the masses, that not all hands may enjoy.

Forgiveness for Tenebrosity?

FORGIVENESS– Do they obsess or linger on the bad things that someone did to them? Do they allow change to take place after they have been hurt, or do they fight against it? What negativities dictate or direct their decisions or life?

Me still with only the one icon for Ten, someone please get me off my ass-

Ten isn't one to linger on negativity, outside of being awoken from her naps early. She's the embodiment of everything dark- fear, death, destruction, violence, anger, you name it and she's got it.- Having to be the living embodiment of such things for Mobius means there isn't a lot of room for resentment, because (contrary to what one may think) Ten can understand the opposing party, usually quite easily. Just because she draws her power from the darker half of the coin doesn't mean she must enjoy it.

She allows change, but she's pretty slow at it- as much as Ten is decent with letting bygones be bygones (after having a massive blow-up, situation depending...). Change... Is not something Ten is highly accustomed to, having been locked in the same eternal cycle with her twin brother since the dawn of Mobius' first civilzation.

Ten acts as she does mostly out of guilt and regret for what she did when Dr. Eggman prematurely awoke her. Her rage spread all over the planet, literally ripped it apart- all because she got furious that she woke up early. The very idea that she nearly caused a planet-wide catastrophe many years too early... It makes her feel sick. She never meant to scare every citizen of Mobius so heavily, nor to give Dr. Eggman so much of her power- and she spends each day and night of her mobian life, at present, trying to make up for that enormous blunder.

However...

Tenebrosity knows, being what she is, that she is beyond forgiveness- no matter what she tries to do to make up for this one event, she will (inevitably) be awoken one day to cause far more damage...

Meaning for Tempest?

MEANING– Where do they believe they fit in the world around them? What provides them comfort? Do they think about their daily life and routine? Are they satisfied?

Tempest honestly isn't sure where she fits in the current world. Before she ever met Sonic, she was basically a shut-in- and she only grew to have friends because Sonic was the first person to reach out to her. She knows she is the living prison of both the Iblis Flame and Mephiles' Darkness- a living construct that has been reformed, in both body and soul, to keep the two entities forever separated, despite how close they may be.

In a way, Tempest views herself as merely an item- a place, and a monster. For all she has done for her Mobius, she failed in saving humanity. She failed in keeping Iblis in check- she nearly destroyed the world when she was Solaris, all because she was hungry. She is the prison. She is the jailor. She is Iblis and Mephiles' final resting place, and in a way, that is all she can bring herself to view herself as.

Tempest finds comfort in exploring ancient ruins. In a way, it's a reminder that while she did fail humanity... They still lived. They were transported to Earth, lived out their lives... Eventually, they were forgotten to time- but their legacy gave birth to a new planet- a whole new world. It's also where Tempest feels most at home, in general. Ruins have had a cornerstone in her life for some time now, from being where she finally felt emotions for the first time, to being where she realized humanity had not been erased by her Mephiles- merely misplaced to another world, a single universe away.

She finds comfort in her friends, as well.- Because unlike most of the mobians, Sonic and his friends don't see Tempest as a weapon or a bomb waiting to explode- they see Tempest as Tempest. Someone who's been through as much as the rest of them- and has a hard time expressing herself because she's afraid of what Iblis will do if she does.

Tempest thinks about her daily life and routine from time to time. It doesn't come across her thoughts all that often, since it's so normal to her... But it does show up, especially when she's wanting out of a situation.

Tempest is not satisfied with how her life has gone.- But she wouldn't trade it for another chance. She's grateful for the friendships and memories she's made, though she feels... As if what she tried to do wasn't enough. As though she has failed. Sure- Mobius is still here... But it's in tattered ruins. Humanity lived.- But on another planet. She still has the scars on her upper arms/shoulders and shoulder blades to remind her that, for all the good she has done- she is the vessel of evil. She failed when it mattered most, and had to rely on others for her saving grace. She wasn't enough.

[tweakerist]

so i got an ask about the minor background relationship thats gonna be included in nyi saying that they're gonna stop reading nyi because they don't like the pairing. im not gonna answer to the ask because i feel like i have to make a general post about it since i have a few things to say that i think anyone who reads nyi should know, so here it is.

first of all, i wanna make it clear that i completely understand. if anyone ever finds that my writing isn't up to their standards or personal preference, then it's completely okay to move on from it, it's always up to the reader to decide if they want to keep supporting my fics or not. i'm not putting a gun to your heads and forcing you to like what i do, you can walk away whenever you feel like it, my feelings won't be hurt (unless you're rude about it) and even then, i got a thick skin and i promise you i'll live lol

now, regarding this particular ask. sadly for you, anon, yes, the pairing that's gonna happen (as i mentioned before in an older ask, it'll be in the background and it'll only be implied) is in fact style (stan and kyle) and i understand if you really hate that concept so much that you think you can't keep reading just because crumbs of it will be sprinkled in. sure, it's sad to know that it's such a big deal breaker for you, but everyone has things they like and things they don't like and that's fine. i do hope that, in the future, maybe you'll give my writing another chance. this is all i have to say if your intention was to let me know that you no longer support nyi.

however, im autistic and reading between the lines is kind of hard for me sometimes, so just in case, if your intention was to stop me or try to persuade me not to include this storyline in nyi, unfortunately, i'll have to say no.

i think it's clear to see (or at least i hope that it's clear to see lol) that i tend to prioritize personality traits and character development over having big, convoluted plots, it's kind of my guilty pleasure ngl, and believe it or not, even tho nyi isn't written down completely, i have been planning this fic for a while, and everything i want to include in it has already been set.

when i decided that stan was gonna have a part in nyi, or literally any other character that isn't craig, you'll see that their actions that are described in detail are always related to craig and the impact they have in HIS life. take this for an example, in case i'm not explaining myself correctly, when stan quits his job at nebula records, he has a personal reason for it that i know of (because i plan to write a different fic from his point of view) but you, the reader of nyi, you're completely unaware of why he does it, and you only know what craig knows, which is that he now has a job at a record shop thanks to stan quitting. that's it. you see stan, you read his name and you know the role he plays only in regards of how his own decisions affect craig's life. so, that's exactly how everything else will unfold regarding any character that isn't craig himself! i can assure you, nyi won't deviate from its own plot, it won't sideline craig and tweek's story to prioritize stan and kyle or anyone else for that matter.

so, why am i so insisting on this pairing happening if the focus will only be in craig (and tweek)? well, for now all i can say is trust me, you'll have to see for yourself when it happens, but i can tell you this, if i decided to include it in nyi, then it has a purpose, which means, as i've explained before, that it will have a significance in craig's life in one way or another.

[nelofairc]

there’s a special kind of liberation which comes from blogging under a pseudonym, without the aim of creating a following (or the income/influencer ‘status’ which has become so pervasive). it reminds me of the early days of the net, when all of the weirdos starting coming out from underneath their sofas, freely sharing whatever was on their minds, without caring what - or who - it was FOR. it was for THEM. they had shit to say and they simply needed to feel free enough to say it (lol, like that’s ‘simple’). these days it all feels so hideously transactional, and there’s enough of that everywhere else. i don’t want to be part of that noise, so i’ve struggled to find my place within the chaos.

i was too scared/shy/awkward to share whatever was on my mind back then. i didn’t think anything i thought was interesting, certainly not unless it ‘served’ someone else’s needs. i fell into a professional role of servicing the needs of creative souls, because that’s how i’d been conditioned as a kid. i didn’t have needs, or so i thought. only my mum had needs. i wasn’t talented, with the kind of creative flair which merited attention in its own right (at least, not to me). and attention had historically only ever resulted in even more bullying… why would i want to encourage that?

instead i ‘helped’. and i was good at it. in later years i would take my company around the world talking about my emerging profession and the opportunities we were carving in our weird-assed newly evolving, early creative digital culture space. i was called ‘a pioneer’ more times than i could count. but i didn’t blog. i later regretted that when seeing other people blogging my words and ideologies, gaining the credit for my ideas. but i was generous enough to understand - or believe, perhaps naively - that we were cocreating a better world together, and therefore ‘my’ ideas were ‘our’ ideas anyway… right? i mean, isn’t it better that those ideas were out in the world and not just stuck in my own head, or the heads of limited audiences at the conferences and festivals i presented at? far too often those established bloggers were building on top of other people’s foundations, without raising them up in turn. sharks, users, people with no inherent creativity who simply pounced on whatever was trending at the time, discarding them as each new trend arose. their words felt shallow, because their intentions were shallow, and that made me feel… diluted, and used.

when i first started blogging in earnest, after i closed down my own company, i wrote about things which would help the community, for employers who paid me to help those communities. essentially, i blogged because i was asked to, not because i wanted to hold court. sure i shared aspects of myself via those words, and via the social media posts i’d been writing (i was ironically pretty late to the social media space, considering my career’s context). but i wrote them FOR others. just like when i’d stood on stages around the world and presented MY creations, i could only do so because i wasn’t talking about MY work or myself: i was talking about the work of the other creative souls whose work we supported, commissioned, and platformed. i created innovative spaces where other people made the content… was how i thought about it (despite having also made plenty of that content myself). but what i now realise i was doing was deferring my own part in that - not ‘look at me’, but ‘look at the amazing work that people have created’, somehow skipping over the part which said ‘…within the universes which i created for them’. i removed myself from the equation, not because i chose to but because i was conditioned to do so.

when i took yet another deviation in my career and returned to freelancing, i blogged to keep people updated about the project i had run a crowdfunder for. again, i blogged for THEM. but it was a different kind of blogging, with me at its centre. for the first time my project was about me, my life, my journey, not about calls for contributions or promotion of other people’s content. and with the vast attention that a successful crowdfunder brings (one which went viral because famous people tweeted about it), the pressure and vulnerability was horrendous. i didn’t know i was neurodivergent at the time, and looking back at that period in my life feels extra raw accordingly. my othered self was starting to peek out from behind the masks it didn’t even know it had been wearing, and i was completely oblivious to everything aside from how exposed i felt. i’d turned ME into a service, and that felt wrong, uncomfortable, dangerous (and not in an exciting way)… because i didn’t understand why.

in recent years, while i’ve been trying to untangle what’s autism, what’s adhd, what’s trauma, what’s social conditioning, what were the masks i’d unwittingly created for myself as protection and compliance, i have felt this enormous surge of ‘shit i’d like to say’, and failed each time to say it. i kept trying to fit myself into what other people might want, lacking the self-esteem to trust that i could simply write FOR ME. several support coaches and therapists have attempted to nudge me in the right direction over the last few years, telling me that i don’t need ‘an audience to write for’, and that trying to do so would only keep me tangled. and they were right, but i still didn’t have the sense of self worth to dare.

what was perhaps weirdest of all within that struggle, was that i didn’t want to write under a pseudonym. i didn’t want to hide. perhaps because i feel like i’ve already hidden for 50 years. perhaps because my words and ideas had been appropriated, stolen, so many times before, i didn’t want to not claim them for myself. and also i have a kind of style, anyone who’s read me elsewhere is highly likely to recognise me behind the avatar. but that’s all part of the same tangles, right?

i want to feel free to speak and write as myself in the exact same way that i want to feel free to be myself out in the world in every other way. and while i lack all self esteem (DESPITE what i’ve made happen for myself and others): i am the only person holding me back. so i didn’t want to use a pseudonym, i wanted to write as me. but i don’t -yet- feel safe enough in myself to do so. and THAT’s the work. that’s the momentous mountain of recovery work i need to focus on. so if writing under a psuedonym is what might help me get there, that’s what i’m gonna do.

it doesn’t matter if no one reads these words, it matters that i am building new internal practices of Having Things to Say And Then Saying Them Out Loud. that’s it. that’s the work, here.

[malaky-nightm4r3]

Hello from Midnight!

Its been long enough, practically a year and a half since it was discovered this system existed, and we've debated coming out on Tumblr for quite some time. Months, really. And given the absolute silence of this account, I felt it was time to take it upon myself to truly take care of this.

I am Chance! A co-host of Midnight, but more on that later. For now I'll introduce you to our 'main' host (more of just who we all pretend to be to pass?), and my twin!

Meet Chai! (Co-host)

Art by @felix-fabulous

Chai, as you can tell, is very openly an Ink fictive! And a cat furry. He derives mostly from the former host of the system, Ink (yes we survived 3-4 years with an Ink as a host we discovered), and doesn't have anything against that! Formed directly off our former host, he took the role quite easily. So easily infact he didn't know he was a different person at all for a good near half year of his existence! He fronts the most besides Chance (Moi). He also acts as the main front personality. Even around some people we trust, we act as him with not much deviation most cases unless we feel like individualising ourselves for a conversation. He's sporadic, excitable, and quite awkward socially, but with good intentions. He struggles to quite grasp his own and others emotions in situations and occasionally that can cause communication barriers, and makes him come off rude or blunt. Chai also tends to worry about others and tries to help with anything he can.

He can change his form as he pleases and is often seen wandering around the headspace as a black Maine Coon- or a Moon as we call them.

Acts as Co-Host, protector, caretaker, and a few more things.

Birthday (form date!): December 3rd, 2020

Chai is gay, demisexual, pronouns are he/him

Meet Chance! (Co-host)

Art by @felix-fabulous and me! Don't mind the 'mistake' with the heart chain, I change it up depending on my mood when I draw myself. My drawing is also a slightly different outfit anyhow! The suit is sparkly!

The charming, dazzling, and incredibly attractive other co-host of this system! Also a fictive. While he may not be a front personality, he sure is a fun act to put on to amuse others in conversations. When he fronts around trusted people he typically speaks with an accent, though it fluctuates which one it is because he dislikes the accents that naturally came to him in this body. Its why it cannot be named or pinpointed, its never a specific one. To throw a guess out there, generally stays in the realm of English accents, though which one it is varies (Please understand I am not trying to be offensive in using it, it happens on its own). Occasionally he throws it out the window entirely. Who needs a false accent anyways? Often called the Theatre kid, or more accurately, 'Theatre Kid #2'. While he does enjoy performing and making everything a fun show, he'd much rather sit and have genuine interactions nowadays.

Can change his form as much as he pleases, and uses it to express himself. Unsure why both hosts are capable of this.

Acts as Co-Host, protector, and a few others

Birthday: December 3rd, 2020

Chance is biromantic, asexual, and any pronouns will do!

What about the others?

Perhaps soon once we have more drawings of the others we will do full introductions, but for now here is a short summary of some fairly important individuals!

Ink - Fictive (obviously). Former host, estimated from around somewhere in 2017 til Chai and Chance's arrival. Similar to Chai in many ways but much more socially awkward and immature. Bisexual, he/they. Birthday unknown :(

Error - Fictive (again, obviously). Been around probably since a few months after Ink, but definitely nearly just as long. Those two are inseparable. He's short tempered (and just short) but all around a fun guy, but doesn't talk to people often, nor does he really like people at all. Bisexual, he/him. Birthday unknown

Dream - Fictive (I should not keep specifying). Sweet, polite, kind, and caring are the first words to come to mind. He's energetic and has a positive (hah get it) outlook, really just...a ray of sunshine in our system, helps out and makes things easier. Acts as the 'librarian', or memory keeper. He uses that to help us get through things or recall what happens between switches if we have especially bad memory blanks. Panromantic, asexual, He/Him. Birthday May 29th, 2021

Cupid - A SPECIAL case! Cupid actually resides in Chance's subsystem, 'Pink Palette System'. Like a much more energetic and fabulous version of Chance, and far more flirty. Bisexual, Any pronouns but he prefers He/They. Birthday unknown.

We are open to questions and are very excited about finally coming out like this!

Thank you for reading! Have a nice day <3

[robininthelabyrinth]

Field Medicine - on ao3 or tumblr pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

Wei Wuxian had been spending much of his free time as of late at the Cloud Recesses – he could regularly be seen walking through their many paths with Lan Wangji always at his side – and Lan Xichen couldn’t be more pleased, except for when he thought about his bride-to-be that would soon be joining them there.

It would be sad to lose Lan Wangji’s company, he reflected, although he supposed that with them both being men and there being no expectation of children unless they opted to adopt a war orphan, it would be reasonable to request that they split their time between the Lotus Pier and the Cloud Recesses once they’d properly settled down. Still, Jiang Cheng clearly needed their help more than he did, at least in the beginning, as Lan Xichen still had his uncle and his elders to support him as sect leader while Jiang Cheng was doing it on his own – it would be entirely reasonable for him to request that the two of them start their lives together at the Lotus Pier, and Wei Wuxian would probably insist on it anyway.

Lan Xichen thought, however, that he would be able to make a plausible argument that the two of them should come to ground in the Cloud Recesses for a while once he and Jiang Yanli had children.

All they needed, really, was for Wei Wuxian to stop his insistence on demonic cultivation.

Lan Xichen really didn’t understand what the issue was. It had made sense to deviate from orthodoxy during the war – when fighting someone of Wen Ruohan’s power and forces of the magnitude of the Wen sect, they had needed every weapon they could find, and Wei Wuxian’s formidable intelligence and creativity had given them the edge that had made all the difference. But at the same time demonic cultivation was well known to be dangerous to the user as well: it affected the temperament, with its practitioners known to become arrogant, cruel, and selfish, uncaring of life or death of others, and more than that, it affected the body and soul, damaging them, risking not only this life but the next.

Why would Wei Wuxian persist in such an unwise course of action now that there was no need for it?

Lan Xichen had often wondered such a thing, but he had spoken to his sworn brothers on the subject (Lan Wangji was useless for such discussions, unsurprisingly) and both of them had been much less surprised than he. Nie Mingjue had spoken, haltingly, of how difficult it could be to open one’s hand and put down the saber after years and years of holding it too tightly – of how the war might end but the adrenaline remained, how the fear and caution that had served so well for years might no longer be necessary and yet the body remembered, the subconscious mind remembered. Jin Guangyao had spoken in turn of the allure of power to one who had once lacked it: the security of knowing there was no need to bow before others, no need to compromise oneself and yield, yield, yield – the difficulty in giving up that safety and placing it in the hands of others, of those who might not live up to the trust, how slow the process was to learn to rely on others in truth rather than merely on the surface.

He could understand that, and so understood that Wei Wuxian’s actions were not unreasonable – and yet, they remained a problem.

Lan Xichen knew that the subject had been often on Lan Wangji’s mind in recent days, troubling him, and there seemed to be no particular solution forthcoming. It was no wonder, given his feelings for the man that seemed so clearly evident to Lan Xichen that he wondered everyone wasn’t speaking of them. 

Lan Xichen himself had initially been too occupied to give the matter much thought. He might have more people to rely upon than Jiang Cheng, but his home had been utterly destroyed as well, and there was much work to be done in rebuilding. Still, he’d been thinking on it more and more as of late. 

After all, Wei Wuxian was no longer exclusively or even primarily Jiang Cheng’s problem – it had been one thing when he was refusing Lan Wangji’s company at every turn, when a relationship between him and Lan Wangji was nothing more than a dream or a possibility that simply wasn’t to be, when he was someone that Lan Wangji could acknowledge as having loved and lost in his youth without too much regret. But now that he was here. He had agreed to come to Gusu to negotiate his shijie’s marriage, and they were spending so much time together…

Wei Wuxian would be Lan Xichen’s brother-in-law, his soon-to-be bride’s little brother, and that meant that Lan Xichen had to think about him from that perspective as well. He had grown to love Jiang Yanli’s smile, and she smiled most of all when speaking of the two brothers that she loved so much, just as he smiled best when he spoke of Lan Wangji, or even of his two (sometimes difficult) sworn brothers.

Yes, Wei Wuxian was definitely Lan Xichen’s problem now.

He only wished that there were more that he could do.

“Zewu-jun! Zewu-jun!” several of his Lan sect disciples called, hurrying over, and their raised voices made him frown at once – causing excess noise is prohibited – whatever the cause, it must be urgent.

It was.

Wei Wuxian had burst into Jinlin Tower in a rage during a public meeting – had gotten into an argument with Jin Zixun and threatened him – he had killed several Jin sect retainers at the Qiongi Path and kidnapped the prisoners of war they had been guarding – he had retreated to the Yiling Burial Mounds and was threatening all who came near with the Tiger Seal –

Lan Xichen hurried to Jinlin Tower at once.

Jin Guangshan was holding court with his family at his side, railing at Wei Wuxian – how dangerous he was, how uncontrolled – and pointing out how he had for some time already been saying how inappropriate it was for such a powerful magic tool to end up in the hands of such an arrogant and impulsive young man. The others were there as well, Lan Xichen the last to arrive: Nie Mingjue scowling down at them all from his excessive height, Lan Wangji still as stone to conceal how upset he was, Jiang Cheng standing there with his face black and clenched fists trembling with anger, Jiang Yanli at his side with her lips pressed tightly together, equally distressed.

She looked at him, seeking comfort – seeking commiseration, since there was no comfort to be had.

After all, what could they do? Jin Guangshan was right. They had all been concerned about Wei Wuxian, his erratic behavior and dangerous demonic cultivation. They had been worried about what he might do now that there was no war in which to put his efforts, and now he had proven all of their fears wholly justified.

He had committed crimes, killed men. Even if they wanted to say something in his defense, what grounds did they have to speak?

Lan Xichen’s steps slowed, suddenly, the thought giving him sudden pause.

What grounds did they have to speak?

What grounds had his father to speak, when it had been his mother who had had blood on her hands? He had not condemned her, as he ought have; instead he married her and challenged all who knew of the matter to dare defy him – he had rested upon the power of his clan, the power of being a Great Sect, and he had protected her against the world, although it had in the end cost him everything.

Lan Wangji could not do the same, although Lan Xichen could see on his face that he wished he could – it was one thing for a man to claim a woman, to promise that he would act as her bond and keep her from further wrongdoing, but it would not be understood that way for a man. No man could restrict another to the courtyard, not unless they were being held as a prisoner, sentenced to their fate, and that was not the answer here: no one would believe that Lan Wangji’s intention was to save Wei Wuxian rather than exploit him, not when the man was as powerful as Wei Wuxian was. Even if the feelings were the same, the world’s understanding of the situation was simply too different.

No, Lan Wangji could not act. To join Wei Wuxian now would be to turn him from a single wrongdoer into the leader of a rebellion, hastening the cultivation world’s desire to crush him, and yet – to abandon him was surely unthinkable.

Feelings or no feelings, Lan Wangji was only a single man, unable to stand against the world. He had no ability to speak.

But Lan Xichen did.

“We will certainly take that under consideration, Sect Leader Jin,” he said, his words sliding in during the small break between words when Jin Guangshan paused to breathe. “Your wisdom and advice are greatly appreciated, as they always are. We will think carefully on your suggestion.”

Jin Guangshan turned to him in surprise, and he wasn’t alone – everyone was staring, not least of which was Jiang Cheng himself, clearly stunned by his interjection. Lan Xichen hated it, hated being the center of attention, but he had been brought up to be sect leader; no matter his preference in avoiding the spotlight, avoiding fights, avoiding unpleasantness, it was all irrelevant in the face of his duty.

He kept a pleasant smile on his face. Ignorance, he thought, was the best approach to permit all sides to save face – he did not wish to start a fight with Jin Guangshan if he could avoid it.

He might not be able to avoid it, but Lan Xichen loved his family too much to really care.

“Zewu-jun,” Jin Guangshan said, and Lan Xichen could see him gearing up to tell him that his not-yet-crystalized demands were not a suggestion, that they were necessary, that the Jin sect – as the victims – had rights to call upon.

Lan Xichen couldn’t let him speak, so he didn’t. “I appreciate the same for all of you,” he said, raising his voice just a little, and surveying the room full of sect leaders. “Your concern for our family matter does you all credit, and we will not forget it.”

“Family matter?” Sect Leader Qin scoffed, his eyebrows arched. “How can this be a family matter?”

“Wei Wuxian is soon to be my brother-in-law,” Lan Xichen said with a smile. “My sister’s shixiong, raised by her side – how can it be anything else? Jiang Wanyin, I will of course provide you with any assistance you require in uncovering exactly what has happened and in determining a punishment to suit.”

“This is not a private matter,” Jin Guangshan said. “My Jin sect retainers were killed by a corpse raised by Wei Wuxian –”

“The sects have always managed justice for their own in the first instance, with others interfering only if the punishment is insufficient. Surely that has not changed,” Nie Mingjue said, and oh, Lan Xichen loved his sworn brother so very much. 

He might be stern and harsh at times, but he was loyal to those he loved beyond all reason; he was stepping up to defend the (possibly) indefensible on Lan Xichen’s word alone, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with him as they always had in battle, in battle and everywhere else. He had forgiven the false information that Lan Xichen had inadvertently passed along, and trusted him unreservedly once more. 

“If my Nie sect cultivators do wrong, it is my obligation to carry out justice and my shame if I do not,” he continued. “Demonic cultivator or not, Wei Wuxian is the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. Who has the grounds to speak first and foremost to his punishment if not Jiang Wanyin?”

Jiang Cheng himself was still working his jaw, trying to say something and failing.

“No one is questioning the ancestral right of the sect leader to manage the sect, da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said, stepping in at once. “It is only that this is a difficult situation, you understand, given the nature of Wei Wuxian’s demonic powers – and, of course, that the Jiang sect is still rebuilding…”

“Which is why I volunteered my sect to help,” Lan Xichen said, glad for the opening that Jin Guangyao had given him even if he suspected it was inadvertent. He didn’t like being on the opposite side from Jin Guangyao, much less publicly, but he understood the necessity of it. His sworn brother could not go against his father’s wishes, and Lan Xichen had long ago learned the hard lesson dividing private and public interests. “We have many techniques designed for suppression of evil and many experts. Even if the Cloud Recesses was burned by the Wen sect –” 

There, a not-so-subtle reminder that the prisoners of war that the Jin sect had been guarding had offended his sect more than the Jin, and that he was more entitled to demand punishment than they. 

“– we were still able to preserve many of our magic tools and ancient books, and I have faith in our capability. And, naturally, as Wei Wuxian’s future brother-in-law, helping is what I should do.”

He shot Nie Mingjue a look.

“You may have any assistance you want from me and mine as well,” Nie Mingjue said, putting his hands behind his back, standing like the general he so recently was. “Am I not your sworn brother, Xichen? But if you and Jiang Wanyin do not adequately investigate the matter or fail impose a proper punishment that suits the crime, I will be the first to speak against you.”

And that quelled more than half the voices that had been about to raise protest. If some argument could be made that Jiang Wanyin was too weak towards his shixiong to properly punish him, then there was Lan Xichen behind him, and if he, too, was inclined by his temperament to be seduced into mercy when it was inappropriate, there was Nie Mingjue as well. Who would dare suggest that the righteous Chifeng-zun would not demand that justice be done?

We are three of the four remaining Great Sects, Lan Xichen realized, suddenly giddy with it. Between us, we have the loyalty of the majority of sects in the cultivation world, and the reputation to back it – who does not know how much we did in the Sunshot Campaign, Nie, Lan, and Jiang, even as the Jin sect held back and dithered?

When we stand together, who can tell us we are wrong?

Perhaps Jin Guangshan realized it, or perhaps it was Jin Guangyao who understood how close his father was to making a mistake, because he glanced his father’s way and stepped forward with a smile, echoing Nie Mingjue’s words of support, smoothly reminding the world that he, too, was one of Lan Xichen’s sworn brothers, and almost immediately afterwards it was Jin Zixuan who was speaking, offering the support of the Jin sect in whatever capacity was required.

Offering, not demanding.

Lan Xichen glanced at Lan Wangji, who was looking at him with the sort of admiration that he thought they had left behind in their childhood – his eyes were positively glassy with relief and thankfulness. When he looked over to the Jiang sect he saw that they were just the same, and actually on that note it was time to quickly bring this scene to an end before someone (possibly Jiang Cheng himself) burst into tears.

He said a few words, indicating that they would leave to prepare to initiate the investigation at once, and soon enough the bustle of sect leader voices rising up in commentary began to drown out anything Jin Guangshan might have said. Lan Xichen could safely begin to make his way out.

Jin Zixuan managed to find him before he escaped the crowd. “Good luck,” he said, and glanced over to where the Jiang sect stood – Jiang Cheng responding to questions with non-answers and assurances that promised nothing while Jiang Yanli stood by his shoulder, his stalwart support. “She deserves someone like you.”

There was some wistfulness in his eyes, the perhaps belated realization of what prize he had let slip through his fingers, but although Lan Xichen was a kind man, he was not so kind as to give up something he valued so dearly.

“Thank you,” he said, thinking to himself that Jin Zixuan was a good man underneath all the gilt and flash, and that the world would be notably improved once he took over the Jin sect. He would need to ask Jin Guangyao if there wasn’t any way that they could think of to shift more of the decision-making power in the Jin sect from the older generation to the younger sooner rather than later. “Your words of support were both timely and welcome.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Jin Zixuan said, and disappeared once again into the crowd.

It took some time to get away from them all, but finally Lan Xichen was alone, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, and then soon enough there were the Jiang sect coming in through the door, Jiang Cheng and his sister, his Jiang Yanli who had held her tongue and the feelings Lan Xichen knew she must have felt, standing with perfect poise despite the unbearable provocation. The perfect person to be by his side in the future, helping him restore the restrained tranquility of the Cloud Recesses.

And she was perfect in this way, too: after the eyes of the crowd were no longer on her, she abandoned restraint for joy and threw herself into his arms, delighted and laughing and thankful, and he forget himself enough to kiss her. Which he did, very happily, until a quiet cough brought him back to awareness.

“We’ll find a way to fix this,” he said, looking up at where Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji were standing side-by-side, both of them looking indulgently at the two of them. “We’ll find out what happened, why Wei Wuxian did what he did, and then we’ll start our new life off the right way. With life, not death, with our loved ones at our side.”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said. “We will.”

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli said, and stood on her toes to press her lips to his again. “We will. Thank you, husband.”

Lan Xichen smiled.

[vidalinav]

Decided to do this on anon—don’t like aggressive arguing (not yours). I kind of disagree with your rant. I don’t see how Nesta was made to change her personality. I saw no indication of that, even from Rhys. Channeling her powers is not a call to change who she is. I mean, Amren has a shitty personality, but she is tolerated and even respected. Nesta IS difficult and her personality isn’t great, even in ACOTAR. Like, she was, absolutely abusive to her family, to Feyre. Yes, there are reasons for it, but it doesn’t excuse the way she behaved. Now with the ‘intervention’ I genuinely think it was driven by good intentions. Not to change her personality, not to make her nice or placid, but to stop the self-destructive behavior. Was it ideal—that’s a different discussion. But going back to your original point—I just didn’t see how her personality was the driver behind ICs decisions. The only true asshole in the whole of IC was Mor, because her comments were dumb and unhelpful. The rest, I feel like they truly tried to deal with her spiral, and not who she was as a person. Sorry this is long. You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to. PS love your headcanons.

You said this very respectfully so I really don’t mind. It’s definitely my interpretation of the reading. But I do feel that I disagree. I definitely think that Nesta has said bad things, and I don’t ever excuse that. But I also think that the only person who can really say that they were genuinely hurt by Nesta is Feyre, and the only person who has actively said that Nesta made up for it in some sense, because she did, is Feyre. 

Rhys’s disdain comes from Feyre. Mor’s disdain as we note in ACOWAR, comes from Cassian. Elain’s problems are iffy, because you can both say that Elain is hurt by Nesta but also hurts Nesta. Relationships are two ways so we definitely chalk it up to that, unless the debate is who hurt the other worse. Which I don’t know that’s a good question. Words hurt a lot, but so does not feeling supported at your worst. So shrugs. 

But I am also not arguing that the IC’s intention is for Nesta to change. I’m more arguing that the structure of the book does not work as a healing arc, because Nesta must change to fit in with this group, because everyone in the group has a problem whether unfounded or not (except for Azriel). That’s what happens. Let me explain. We get more scenes where they are actively using her when she really doesn’t want to, saying she has a choice and then being proven wrong by another character’s words, we have characters saying horrible things knowing that she is going through something terrible, and we have very few instances where empathy or compassion is shown. Rhys goes into her mind, and is compassionate for the moment and then reverts back. We don’t have ANY scene where any of them talk to Nesta, except for when Elain goes to the library and says something along the lines of are you healed yet? There is no time where they have a cry session, except with Cassian when he takes her to a healing mountain that is supposed to be her punishment, for admittedly something that they should all be punished for. Because is it the intention that was wrong or the information she spewed? To Rhys, it was the information, and that’s why he said he wanted to kill her. Very dramatic response that is excused under “mate protectiveness.” There are no times even when they are arguing which would work the same, because narratives are being exchanged and therefore possibly understood. 

Nesta is ashamed of her own actions. She can be ashamed of her own actions that’s accountability, but she cannot be responsible for other people’s opinions of her and she cannot hold the sins of other people. But she does because there is no growth in anyone else except Nesta, because no one interacts with Nesta on a deeper level than solstice, when they need her power, or when she saves Feyre. But because there is none of that interaction, all of the instances after don’t seem genuine. There is no foundation for people to be close at all. So, all of the problems must remain or its a complete deviation from what has been said and done. 

There is no problem with Feyre not putting a picture of Nesta, but there is a problem with it if the only time she does it is when Nesta proves her love, and does something that NO ONE will ever be able to repay, which I’m assuming was the point, because she is no longer held accountable for not hunting when they were young. It’s a problem if in ACOFAS, Feyre did want Nesta to be a part of her family, but then actively shows that she is not a part of the family. Because not only does she not validate what Nesta is going through in the text with a conversation or a note or whatever, after them having some sort of a relatively civil relationship after ACOWAR, she then makes this intervention which is not based on her own idea, which is suppose to be founded on “love,” which is not shown in a reciprocal scene until the END of the book. 

This is not a problem of the characters, it’s not even a rag on the characters. It’s the fact that this is not a healing arc, based on the fact that the narrative is very imbalanced. Where is the empathy? Where is the compassion? Where is the validation that Nesta went through a war? That Nesta saw her father die? That Nesta almost died herself? All of the characters have trauma yes, but this is Nesta’s POV, this is Nesta’s book. This is suppose to be her healing. So where is it? We get it only with Gwyn and Emerie--that empathy, that compassion. But we don’t get it from the people who love her?? 

Again it’s not a question of these characters suck. It’s that the writing is not great. Because we could have eventually had compassion or empathy or validation or open communication throughout this book, even after the first initial anger of an intervention. But we didn’t get that. And because no one changed and because we don’t have any scenes with the others and Nesta, Nesta did have to change or she wouldn’t belong in the group. If they had growth alongside her, if they had an understanding scene, an argument, yadda yadda, where they understood Nesta or learned something about Nesta as she learned something about them, then the narrative would be based on accountability and acceptance. But that is not what happened. 

And unfortunately that’s why it’s not very satisfying and why I don’t consider it a healing arc, because healing is based on growth and acceptance. Who is allowed to accept who if the only person who changes is Nesta, and a lot of the consequences that were placed on her were from other people who did not change nor have any scenes where they saw a different side of her except at the end when she saved Feyre?

*** But thank you for the compliment! I certainly hope you do not feel that I was attacking you. Just structuring my own argument in a way that makes sense. I tend to go on tangents.

[ahkaahshi]

taste testing [hirugami sachirou x reader]

pairing: hirugami sachirou x fem reader

genre: smut (18+) and fluff

warning(s): explicit sexual content, food play, spitting, reader has one dom moment but I swear to god it’s very fleeting bc that’s not our brand here, and there’s not really any other warnings?? this one was kinda wholesome, good for the soul smut tbh

word count: 4.4k (episode #??? of why am I writing so much?? idk!!)

overview: a heatwave in combination with an accidental ice cream spill end up giving your boyfriend a new idea

“Should I be worried?”

Hirugami rolls his eyes at you mockingly from over his shoulder in response to your comment as you shuffle to one of the stools near the kitchen island. “C’mon, (f/n), have some faith in your reliable boyfriend, why don’tcha?” he teases, turning his attention back to whatever creation he’s concocted on the counter in front of him—which his tall figure blocks from your view.

With a chuckle, you comment, “Well, it’s not often that I get summoned to the kitchen by said boyfriend unless he wants me to try some crazy recipe he developed.” Grabbing the small fan sitting atop the wooden surface and activating its oscillating function so it can blow room temperature air towards you as well, you add, “Besides, with this stupid heatwave I wouldn’t be surprised if you accidentally set something on fire.”

“I cracked an egg on the floor earlier and it didn’t cook, so I think we’re still good, babe.”

His wittiness never fails to elicit a gentle snicker from you, no matter how foul your mood may be, so you can’t help letting one out in spite of your current circumstances. Much to your dismay, the air conditioning unit had decided to succumb to the increased temperatures outside, leaving the two of you in a nearly unbearably hot apartment. Luckily, the power hadn’t gone out, so the two of you were able to keep fans running, and you were able to stick your head in the fridge while he stuck his in the freezer above it. The situation could be much worse, but that knowledge didn’t make it any less unpleasant.

You hadn’t worn a shirt at home in days, resorting to lazing around in a sports bra or bralette and shorts most of the time. Today was no different, and you appreciated every blast of air that the sheen of sweat on your chest and abdomen cooled down each time the fan turned your way. From where you’re sitting, you’re able to admire the ridge of every bone or muscle beneath your boyfriend’s toned back, since he’s only wearing a pair of athletic shorts.

“Well,” he begins, his voice snapping your gaze from his exposed skin to his warm, brown eyes when he peers at you from over his shoulder once more, “wanna know what I made today?” Your enthusiastic approval prompts him to turn away from the counter and place two bowls atop the island filled with a treat you can instantly recognize. “I made some ice cream earlier this morning, and it’s extra cool since I just took it out of the freezer.”

He marvels at the look of awe and excitement on your face as you admire his handiwork, since he’d gone the extra mile to decorate his dessert with chocolate and caramel syrup, some fruit, and a dollop of whipped cream. “Wow! Look at you!” you exclaim before placing your hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer for an appreciative kiss, “Thank you. This looks really good.”

“You sure you’re not just blinded by love?”

Playfully, you give his arm a gentle smack where he stands opposite you, elbows resting on the countertop as he patiently waits to see your reaction to his creation. Prickles of heat rise to your cheeks at the way he’s staring at you so intently, as if he could do so all day long. A small grin forms on your lips when you pick up the spoon resting in the bowl and carefully scoop out a generous serving of the ice cream he’s so carefully prepared. The refreshing coolness and sweet flavor it spreads across your tongue when you place the spoonful in your mouth has you humming with satisfaction and closing your eyes momentarily.

“It’s really good, Sachi,” is the praise that leaves your mouth once you’ve swallowed. You’re soon digging in for another bite, making him laugh at your eagerness. “Seriously, if you hadn’t chosen to be a vet, you could’ve definitely been a pastry chef or something with all the desserts you’ve made for me.”

Wiggling his spoon between his fingers pensively, he wonders, “Maybe I should start an Instagram page, take pictures of my creations, and climb my way to fame in the pastry-loving community.”

“Oh, you’d have so many followers.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re a hottie who likes to bake. Simple as that. Trust me,” you explain, reaching over to him to brush his waves of brown hair away from his face, “you’ll have women all over the world sending you tokens of their love and commenting heart or fire emojis underneath your posts. You might even get to be on a talk show if you’re successful enough.”

He nods towards the living room, indicating that he wants to sit down at the table with you to eat and asks, “Is that so? And where are you in all of this?”

You place your hands beneath the cold bowl of dessert and scoot off the stool so you can seat yourself on the floor beside him instead. “Professional taste tester slash content curator slash manager,” you answer with confidence before dipping another spoonful of ice cream between your lips curled in a self-assured smile.

“So fancy,” he states, sending a small wink your way that has your heart fluttering in your chest—as if he’s a high school crush who’s noticed you rather than your boyfriend of three years. Holding up his metal spoon filled with ice cream towards you, he suggests, “Should we toast on our new business deal, then?”

With a giggle, you raise your spoon to his so you can clink them together and continue enjoying the delicious treat he’d prepared just for you. In between scoops, you reach for the television remote to turn it on so you can watch something other than a dark screen and distract yourselves from the stifling heat flooding your home in any way possible. As you’re eating, trying to finish off the ice cream before it melts entirely, you end up accidentally spilling some of it on you.

The squeal you release at the iciness of the dessert trailing down your chin and onto your chest startles Hirugami, and his attention snaps to you instantly. Shuddering at the sensation of the ice cream sliding down your sternum, heading towards the low neckline of your sports bra like it’s on a race against time, you quickly scan the room for any napkins you can grab. “I got it,” your boyfriend offers, placing his bowl down on the table and shifting closer to you.

At first, you think he’s going to reach for the tissues you’d spotted nearby, but you find yourself frozen in place when he suddenly dips his head towards your chest to drag his tongue along your skin. The sensation of the wet muscle gliding along your chest, from the dip of your cleavage all the way up to your chin, has you shivering for an entirely different reason, and he meets your wide-eyed gaze with his calm one once he’s finished.

“Did I get it all?” he questions, purposely feigning cluelessness, as he enjoys doing to tease you.

There are a few beats of silence spent watching one another while you try to regain your composure. Hirugami always found little ways to surprise you, whether he was welcoming you home with something special he’d baked or spreading your legs apart to dive between them after he’d had a rough day. He’d never once attempted the feat he’d just done; however, you find that you’re surprisingly aroused. He seems to notice his actions have had what he deems to be a desirable impact on you when he sees you clench your thighs together and dip your spoon into the ice cream once more.

With intrigue reflected in his gentle eyes, he watches you intentionally press the spoon to your collarbone so the substance can drip down your chest, leaving small, rivers of color over the bones beneath your skin and the shape of your breasts. A somewhat innocent grin spreads across your lips when you feel the ice cream sink below the neckline of your sports bra.

“Hmm,” he murmurs, turning away from you momentarily to grab the bottles of syrup and can of whipped cream he’d brought along with him from the kitchen, “Might as well make this an entire sundae, don’tcha think?” You swallow thickly as he pops open the caps and tasks himself with drizzling the syrup over your chest, deviating from the area once he’s satisfied with his work and allowing a few drops to fall onto your lips.

His tone is sugary sweet, but there’s a devious glint in his eyes. All you can do is nod and lean into the arm he wraps around your back, letting your head roll back so your neck and chest are fully exposed to him. Your heartbeat is quick underneath his tongue when he pulls the top of your sports bra down enough for him to dip it inside and start collecting the trails of ice cream and syrup he’s used to decorate your skin. Almost instinctively, you arch your back towards him in a silent plea for him to give your breasts more attention, but he ignores your request for now and moves up your sternum, towards your chin once more.

When his lips meet yours, the taste of his tongue is sweet as it slides along your own, making you moan softly into his mouth. His hand on your back moves to your waist before traveling up to your shoulder and plucking at the strap of your bra. “Take this off for me,” he requests between heated kisses, “Actually, take your shorts off too, and wait for me in the bedroom. I wanna taste what I made on every inch of you.”

Though you’re hesitant to leave his tight grasp and part your lips from his, you oblige his request and head for the bedroom. After grabbing a towel and laying it out across the comforter so it doesn’t get stained, you strip off the little clothes you’re wearing—but leave your underwear on. Not long after you’ve situated yourself atop the mattress, Hirugami wanders into the room with all the food items he wants to adorn your bare body with.

“Want some?” he asks upon seeing your attention shift to the can of whipped cream when he sets it down atop the bedside table. After receiving a nod from you, he says, “Close your eyes and open your mouth for me, baby.” You do as your told, your heart racing with anticipation as waves of adrenaline course through your veins. The crackling of the whipped cream spurting through the tip of the can reaches your ears moments before you feel his breath fan over your face and his tongue press the cool topping against yours, guiding it into your mouth.

Your hands move to his shoulders to pull his hot body closer to yours, wanting to feel every inch of his skin burning against you in spite of how unbearably warm the apartment is. Your kisses are messy, but neither of you mind, considering how sweet they taste and how intense the craving you have for one another is becoming. When he pulls away from you, he looks uncharacteristically disheveled—cheeks and lips tinted red with warmth, a hint of whipped cream at the sides of his mouth, and his eyes clouded over by an undeniable lust. Because of how calm and composed he usually is, it thrills you to see him like this.

However, his lips are quick to form a grin, as if he finds it entertaining that you saw him in a moment of discomposure. In an instant, he’s reaching for the ice cream nearby and standing beside the bed with a pensive look on his face, like an artist pondering what he should paint on his blank canvas. You squirm a bit under his intensely focused gaze, but soon shiver at the cool sensation of the previously frozen treat dripping onto your chest once more, navigating along the natural ridges and valleys of your body.

As he drizzles ice cream and syrup along your exposed skin in a way that makes sense to him, your attention flits between the look of admiration in his eyes and the prominent bulge in his shorts. He sees where your gaze is drawn and chuckles before picking up a strawberry and pressing it to your lips, which you open to take a bite. At noticing how the juice makes your lips shimmer tantalizingly, he can’t help but swoop in for another open-mouthed kiss. But it’s short-lived, since he’s eager to taste the creation he’s made on your torso instead.

Once more, he opens his mouth and drags his tongue along your skin, being sure to trace every path that the dessert has taken along your figure. You release a small mewl and place your hands on his head, weaving your fingers into his soft hair when he grazes your breast with his nose and lips. The whimpers of appreciation and increasing strength of your grip spur him to lick and suck one of your hardened nipples while he gently pinches the other, coaxing more breathless cries from your mouth at the dull throbbing that’s building in your core.

“Mm,” he hums, sending pleasant vibrations through your body, “so sweet. Want a taste?”

You nod when his face returns to your field of view, hovering over your own as he watches you intently. Your lips part naturally, waiting for him to meet them with his own, but, instead, he places his hand on your jaw and prods your lower lip, signaling for you to open wider. The pucker of his lips soon brings you to the realization that he intends to spit into your mouth—and while you thought you’d be repulsed by the idea; you find yourself sticking your tongue out expectantly. With curiosity, you watch as a glob of saliva leaves his mouth, finding purchase on your tongue and rolling back towards your throat. There’s a pleasant tinge of sweetness to it that you hadn’t fully anticipated, but that you appreciate as you swallow.

The way he’s watching you with such rapture makes your heart pound in your chest. In an instant, he’s occupying your lips once more with his own, showering them with passionate kisses as his long fingers trail down your torso, making their way to the lacy edge of your panties. You hold his body flush against yours, creating a sticky mess between your chests of syrup and ice cream as you wiggle your hips needily and take his lower lip between your teeth. An airy chuckle leaves his throat at your antsy behavior, but he’s soon indulging you by slipping his hand between the delicate fabric and your skin.

His lips soon travel in the same direction as your fingers so he can lap up any of the toppings he’s drizzled along your neck and collarbone while his fingertips tease you by lightly running up and down the length of your slit. Your grip on his shoulders tightens in response to the sensation of his digits coated in your essence sliding along the sensitive skin before one of them takes to tracing circles around your clit while the others slide inside of your tight core.

“Sachirou…” you whine softly, hips bucking against his touch as you feel your body temperature start to rise. Though you love the way his fingers feel inside of you, curling to reach the spongey region within you, and on your bundle of nerves, you’re desperate to feel his tongue since he’s been using it everywhere but where you want it the most. “Could you…?”

He seems to already know what you’re about to ask him, since he responds to your half-finished question with, “You want me to eat you out, baby?”

A breathless “Yes,” from you prompts him to give your neck a few gentle kisses before he removes his hand from inside your soaked panties and moves his head between your legs, treating himself to any food still left on your skin along the way. He presses his lips to the inside of your thighs before taking the fabric separating your dripping pussy from his mouth in his teeth and dragging it down your legs. Once he’s used his hands to slide it all the way off, he casts a somewhat devious glance upwards at you as he blows on your clit, making you squirm beneath his grasp.

You’re about to scold him for teasing you when you’re so vulnerable, but his gently spoken words give you pause: “You’re so beautiful, (f/n).” Moments after the compliment leaves his lips, he’s pressing them against your pearl, followed by his tongue.

The pleasurable burn you feel from his hot breath dancing along your exposed slit has you moaning loudly and sinking your fingers into his hair to inch him closer to your pussy. It’s evident he knows your body like the back of his hand, since he’s precise about his actions, being sure to vary his pace and intensity to make the buildup to your orgasm as enjoyable for you as possible. Where his large hands rest on your thighs, his fingers loosen and tighten their grip, kneading your supple skin. Every needy movement of your hips towards his face has him uttering a gentle groan, reminding you of the satisfaction he always receives from getting you off.

However, in spite of feeling the knot in your stomach loosening with each hungry swipe of his tongue along your clit, you move your hands to the side of his face to nudge him away from you. The confusion he feels is evident in his gaze and furrowed eyebrows, but it soon morphs into one of excitement when you sit up on the bed and motion for him to join you. Before he sits down, you tug at the waistband of his shorts and regard him with a demure gaze through your eyelashes that he reacts to subtly by biting his lip.

With a nod, he allows you to strip them off, then plops onto the comforter beside you and pulls you into his lap. Reaching towards the bowl on the bedside table, you grab another strawberry and the can of whipped cream so you can take the fruit between your teeth and offer it to him with your mouth. The gentle smile he wears spreads onto your own lips when he leans down towards you to carefully take the rest of the strawberry in his own mouth. His lips meet yours in a sweet kiss before you pull away to finish chewing the halves you’ve split with each other.

Grabbing the whipped cream this time, you place the nozzle in front of his mouth, prompting him to open it for you. However, you misfire and end up covering his nose with the fluffy topping instead, sending the two of you into a fit of laughter that he only fuels by using it to smear the whipped cream along yours as well. In spite of the stagnant warmth in the apartment, only disturbed every now and then by a gust from the nearby fan, you find yourself pressing your forehead against his and draping an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer.

The kisses you share are heated and passionate in spite of the sweetness lingering in both of your mouths. Your chest is sticky against his with remnants of food and sweat, but he doesn’t seem to care, since he places his hands on your waist to hold your torso flush against his, only moving them up and down the sides of your body occasionally to feel the shape of you against his palms. Your free hand moving between the two of you to gently stroke his erection elicits a breathless and somewhat surprised moan from his vocal cords that empowers you to curl your fingers around it.

As much as he loves having your hand around his cock, he seems to want more of you, since he’s breaking the connection between your lips to suggest, “Let me fill you up, yeah? I’ll make you feel so good.” Once he’s received enthusiastic consent from you, he gently pulls your hips over his, before slowly guiding you onto his dick, being careful not to hurt you in the process. Low grunts rumble through your own throat when he presses his lips against your neck to trail open-mouthed kisses along your tender skin as he eases inside of you.

Once he bottoms out, you place your palm on the center of his chest to give him a playful push down onto the bed so you can rest your hands at either side of his muscular torso to support yourself as you begin grinding your hips against his. A smirk creeps onto his lips at your sudden act of dominance, since you both know it won’t be long before his large body’s hovering over yours as he plows you into the mattress until your mind is so blank that all you can say is his name overand over again. But he’ll let you have your fun for now, since he knows you like riding him, especially after he’s had a long day and you don’t want him to have to do any extra work.

Plus, he can’t complain when the view above him is spectacular.

“There you go, baby,” he praises, chocolate brown eyes darting down to your hips undulating against his as you take him deeper, “God, you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous.”

His compliments spur you to increase your pace until beads of sweat are glistening on your skin and your body’s starting to shake from both fatigue and pleasure. Each slam of his cock into your sensitive core sends shocks of ecstasy through you, and you know—with the way he’s meeting your hips with thrusts of his own to reach your most receptive spot—that you won’t last long. “S-Sachi!” you cry wantonly, reaching for the hands he has gripping your waist to hold onto them for support, “Harder, please. I’m so close!”

“Don’t worry, pretty girl, I’ll make you cum,” he responds huskily. His face contorts ever so slightly with exertion as he pulls your hips down so he can snap his against them, filling the room with loud smacks of your skin meeting. Upon feeling your hips stutter beneath his palms, he quickly sits up and guides you onto your back so he can plunge deeper inside of you at a much faster pace. “That feel good?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s—ahh—so good, baby!” You’re surprised by your ability to form coherent words while he’s balls-deep inside of your pussy, filling your entire body with pleasure that’s nearly too much to bear. “Please!”

You don’t have to finish your sentence for him to understand what you’re trying to say, since his pace and intensity have you coming undone for him only a few moments after you’ve spoken. His voice is low and guttural as he growls, “Mm, just like that,” at feeling your walls flutter around him affectionately. Your loud cries of his name fill his ears, edging him closer to his own orgasm as he fucks you through yours. “You feel s-so good,” he rasps, “C’mon, make me cum. Yeah, that’s it; that’s it, baby.”

Soon, the sensation of being inside your tight heat as you squeeze him lovingly has him finishing with a string of expletives, followed by praises rolling off his tongue. Hot spurts of his release filling you up in the midst of your high have you mewling breathlessly until you’re left in a euphoric haze that renders your entire body too heavy to move. Once Hirugami’s ridden out his orgasm as well, he lets out a long sigh of both exhaustion and satisfaction before sinking into the bed beside you.

A few minutes of silence ensue as the two of you regain your breath and find the energy to move once more. In a tender gesture, Hirugami grabs the towel beneath you and uses it to wipe off any remaining food or sweat that’s accumulated on your skin before doing the same with his own body. As the two of you lie together, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for the fogginess to subside, you hear a familiar click that instantly makes you hold your breath with anticipation. Sure enough, the sound is followed by a familiar whirring, then a cool breeze against your skin from the vent on the ceiling.

“Yes!” you cheer, clenching your hand into a fist to express your gratitude towards the workers who have finally fixed your air conditioning unit.

With a small hum of contentment, Hirugami extends his arm out towards you to bring you closer to his chest. Now that there’s cold air circulating around the room, you welcome the gesture and curl up beside him. “Well, now that the AC’s working, does that mean you don’t want any more ice cream?” he wonders, lips brushing against your temple before he presses a kiss to it.

“Of course not! I mean, as long as you still have some that’s actually frozen.”

He laughs nervously and admits, “Full disclosure: I got a bit carried away and made enough to last for at least a few weeks, I think.” Upon seeing the incredulous look on your face, he elaborates, “I followed a recipe created by someone for her son’s birthday party of like thirty kids, so… that’s a lot of servings.”

“Sachirou!” you laugh, nuzzling your face in his neck, “Why did you do that?”

“Didn’t know how long the AC would be out. I thought I planned ahead pretty well, actually.”

“In that case, I would love to have some more of your ice cream.” He beams at you and pulls you into a hug so tight that your skin is sticking together when you pull away. “But let’s go in the shower first. Please.”

“Don’t know what to make next, though,” Hirugami murmurs as he sits up before grabbing onto your hands to help you into a seated position so the two of you can head into the bathroom. “But,” he adds, turning to you and leaning down towards you so he can press a chaste kiss to your lips, “what I do know is that I’d love be able to sample it on you again.”

treat me to a coffee! ⭐︎ kinktober masterlist

taglists (see pinned post on my blog for form)

general: @dinablossom, @newfriendjen​, @devlovesramen, @ohbyunhunn, @aftcrlust, @mister-future, @kyleclxin​, @kac-chowsballs​, @osamusmiya​, @nit-sir-hc​, @arixtsukki​, @shinsurou, @ichorizaki​

hirugami: @hqxreader, @pretty-setters, @misora-msby, @atsunakaashi

[ineedglasses]

VK Character Analysis: Rido Kuran

Rido is a complete, messed up, SOB, but I still like him as a character because he is simply such a fun villain. If I were to place him in that alignment chart thing, he would be “chaotic evil” without a doubt.

While he is generally seen as a creepy, sister-obsessed, maniac, I really believe he was different earlier in his life. 

This analysis is based off the Rido we see in the manga and the light novel, NOT the Rido in the anime, since the anime was trash and deviated from the manga when it came to his arc. Anyway, at the start of the post, I will go over the info from the light novel and manga, next will be my headcanons of him as a young man and at the end is my interpretation of him when he was crazy, as we see him in the original series.

                                                               XXX

The Deranged Love story in the Fleeting Dreams light novel talks about Rido’s obsession with Juri and gives some info on their past. However, when compared to the original VK series there are several points that don’t add up, and some parts of the light novel simply make no sense.

First, Both VKM and the light novel mention that Rido killed his parents and presumably devoured them to take their powers. That makes sense, it seems like something he would do. What doesn’t make sense to me is the timeline. When exactly did he kill his parents? 

All the light novel tells us is that he killed them immediately after they engaged him to Shizuka. Is this around the time Haruka and Juri got married? I always assumed Haruka and Juri have been married for a while, like at least 1000 years. If this is the case, within that time period, how can they not notice that their parents are dead and that their brother killed them? 

Or does their murder occur closer to the time Juri got pregnant? But this doesn’t make sense either because Rido referred to Shizuka as a “small child” when he killed his parents, and by the time Juri was pregnant with Yuki’s real brother, Shizuka was probably already at least one or two thousand years old. Unless Shizuka is much younger than we thought? So when exactly Rido kills his parents is quite the mystery.

Secondly, How did he kill his parents? 

I assume the older a pureblood, the more powerful they are. So how can he, by himself, kill his parents, both of whom are older and more powerful than him? I doubt his dad was a weakling because as former king of vampires, he should be quite powerful. In the light novel, it seems his parents were already wary of him and wanted to keep him away from Juri. Thus they wouldn’t completely let their guard down around him. And its not like Rido could carry around a hunter sword with him without it being noticed. Even if he was carrying something small like a dagger, his parents should have been able to overwhelm him in a fight since its 2 vs 1. 

Kaname has commented that “purebloods have equal powers, so they would only exhaust each other in battle”; basically it is hard to kill another pureblood unless you have some advantage (e.g. Shizuka being already wounded by Zero’s hunter gun). So the only logical way Rido can kill his parents is if he catches them off guard, such as when they are taking a centuries long slumber in the family mausoleum, basically doing what Sara did to Hanadagi. 

Thirdly, another point that makes no sense is that Rido in the light novel says:

“My parents had taken my precious Juri far away from me and made it so that we could never meet.” 

How exactly did his parents take Juri away and stop them from ever meeting again? Send her abroad with no intention of ever letting her return? And yet the manga clearly contradicts that, because Rido is still in contact with Haruka and Juri, he was there to see their firstborn baby!

Fourthly, this is a small detail that has always irked me: In the manga, when Yuki’s brother peed on him, Rido mentions that he used to change his siblings’ diapers when they were babies. 

However the light novel kind of contradicts that, because young Rido upon being called in to meet his baby sister says: “I will confess that newborns seemed very uninteresting to me at that time”; does this sound like an older brother that would change his younger siblings’ diapers? It sounds like a guy who would leave baby care to the nannies and stay far away from soiled diapers. 

Finally, we get to the biggest illogical point in the light novel: Rido was a psychopath that just randomly developed an obsession upon seeing the newborn Juri.

“ It was in that moment – somewhere in the depths of my being – something abruptly flared to life. […] I was overwhelmed by the urge to devour her.”

No normal person just out of the blue feels the urge to consume a baby, only crazy people do. The rest of the light novel story continues depicting Rido as a psychopath. Their parents notice there is something wrong with their son because the mom slaps Rido and starts to keep him away from Juri. Adding on to this portrayal of him as batshit crazy, after he (somehow) kills his parents, he says the following:

“That’s what you get for getting in my way, you naughty things…” 

LOL, who in their right mind would call their parents “naughty things”?

My issue is this: I highly doubt Rido was crazy from the start, because it would make no sense. If Rido was crazy, how the hell could Juri and Haruka not have noticed for over 3000 years?! Even the dumbest person would get a clue that their brother was crazy after just 30 years, much less 3000 years. They trusted him enough to let him hold their baby, so they clearly believed Rido was not crazy. There is no way that Juri and Haruka were that stupid and blind. Thus, I doubt that Rido was crazy at the start of his life. So, this aspect of the light novel is just total BS to me.

IF Rido really was crazy from the start, then his mom and dad were bad parents. Yes, it makes sense to keep Juri away from Rido if he really were a psychopath, but their other actions were just extremely irresponsible and selfish. If you know your son is dangerous, maybe you should address this issue properly. After all, he is a pureblood and if you don’t deal with the problem, there will be huge repercussions for everyone given the destructive powers of purebloods. 

But instead of taking their son to see a mental health professional like any decent parent would do, Papa and Mama Kuran decided to solve the problem by engaging him off to a “tiny child”. I’m no parenting expert, but I’m sure if your son has mental issues, you definitely should NOT marry him off to any girl. Even if they didn’t get him some help, they should have at least locked him up like Shizuka to ensure he didn’t harm anyone... but they just let him roam free.

If this is the extent of their problem-solving ability, then it’s for the best that they ended the monarchy because they must have been cruddy rulers. But who knows, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they believed the “tiny child” they chose for him has a PhD in psychology and can provide their son with the help he clearly needs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I consider the light novel to be only pseudo-canon since it was inspired by Hino but written by someone else (Ayuna Fujisaka), so I will just ignore the parts that don’t make sense and keep the parts that do.

                                                              XXX

This following section is what I believe Rido to have been like when he was a (sane) young man, based on the info in the manga and the few bits that do make sense in the light novel.

Since Rido was the oldest son and born in a time when the Kurans were still the ruling family, he probably grew up with a lot of pressure and expectations as he was the crown prince. Given these conditions, he was most likely serious and hardworking, doing his best to live up to those expectations and preparing to be the next king (kinda like Eins in The Royal Tutor LOL).

He was also probably a bit older than Haruka and Juri (because according to the manga he has experience changing their diapers and taking care of them). And since he was probably busy with his princely duties, he did not spend a bunch of time with his siblings and thus Haruka and Juri were naturally closer to one another than Juri was to him. She probably saw him a respected older brother but not as reachable and easy to connect to as Haruka.

Rido was probably arrogant, possessive, and entitled even at the start (though at much milder levels than towards the end), which makes sense given his background. Not only was he a pureblood, but the crown prince too. And since he was prince, he probably had to deal with the dog-eat-dog world of politics from a young age, so that probably made him more cynical and darker than his siblings who had much less pressure and responsibility. It would almost be shocking if he was a humble and kind person instead.

Anyway, according to the custom of primogeniture, both the throne and Juri should have been his. Since it was tradition of the Kurans to marry their siblings, it only makes sense that as the oldest son and legitimate heir, he was the one that Juri should have married. Yet for whatever reason, their dad decided to end the monarchy, which must have been a huge blow to Rido who spent his whole life preparing to be the next king. He probably drove himself to despair questioning why and if there was something wrong with him that his father would pull such a move.

Then Rido probably got another big slap to the face: Juri choosing to marry Haruka instead of him, with his parents probably giving them their blessings. So not only has he lost the throne, he also lost the fiancée that should have been his according to precedent. And Juri choosing Haruka probably made Rido lose face among their society, since people would naturally wonder why Juri spurned tradition and married the second son instead.

(Actually, it wouldn’t matter if the monarchy getting dissolved took place first or if Juri choosing Haruka took place first, the point is both happened and it screwed him up.)

Rido most likely didn’t love Juri, but simply believed he did. He probably conflated Juri with what he lost/ what should have been his by birthright and became unhealthily obsessed with the idea of her. It didn’t help that the one Juri chose was Haruka, who we know has a mild and kind personality. To someone like Rido, those are traits probably considered “weak”, and thus he probably never thought of Haruka as his rival. Therefore, the fact that he lost to Haruka of all people shocked him, and there might have been some anger and sorrow at being betrayed by a sibling. So anyway, Rido’s emotions as well as his ego got clobbered.

But fate is not done with him yet! His parents most likely decided to engage him to Shizuka “without his consent” around the time that Haruka and Juri got engaged/married. They might have rushed to engage him off to whoever was available at that time (unluckily for Shizuka it happened to be her), hoping to get him out of the way of his siblings’ happiness. Rido probably was pissed, since not only does he not get to choose his new fiancée, the one chosen for him hails from a clan with a history of supposedly going insane, instead of someone with a less problematic pedigree. His parents really doing him dirty lol.

I think he really had some deep-rooted problems with his parents. Sometimes parents just don’t like their child, because of personality and ideological differences…Anyway, they were definitely in a strained relationship which would explain why Rido could go so far to kill his own parents and feel no guilt over it.

                                                                XXX

Finally, towards the end of his life he really just lost it.

Rido probably tried to keep up appearances and act like everything is okay and that his world is not falling apart, thus allowing Juri and Haruka to still trust him. But over the years he just stewed in his anger against his parents, his siblings and the world in general and turned into a very bitter and hateful person on the inside. And although he probably tried to suppress his growing darkness, his bad traits got amped up while his better traits died. It was probably extremely infuriating for him to see his siblings so happy in their pink glittery world while he himself was drowning in darkness.

(Even Kaien was annoyed by Haruka and Juri’s “pink world”, imagine an already salty and bitter Rido seeing this type of scene for centuries and just frothing with rage on the inside LOL)

So Rido became a sadistic ass towards the end, taking his anger out on people that have nothing to do with it. He tried to make Shizuka miserable and force her to be docile and had no luck with that but succeeded in breaking Senri’s mom and driving the poor woman crazy. Though if you think about it, in a way he did succeed in breaking Shizuka too… he caused her lover’s death and when she lost her lover, she basically lost her will to live.

Hino showed how talented Rido is at antagonizing others. While he possessed Senri, he intentionally hurt Senri’s body to toy with Takuma.

Even after his death, his dregs were tormenting Kaname by pointing out all his inner concerns, taunting Kaname about how he has no hope left. 

In VKM, Yuki mentions Rido as someone “with overwhelming desires that only plunge the world around [him] into misery.” Overall, Rido probably got his giggles by making others miserable.

Besides getting high off ruining the lives of other people, he was just a bastard in general. He used everyone around him as tools, even his own sons. Unlike Shizuka or Kaname, he did not care about his subordinates at all, to him they were just “appetizers” and expendables. He also had zero reservations about forcing lower vampires to submit to his will.

Anyway, Rido probably was already a bitter jackass but he really snapped when he found out Juri was pregnant and would start a happy little family with Haruka. Maybe he was idiotically holding onto hope that as long as Juri didn’t have a kid, he still had a chance? Regardless, it was at that point that he gave up any vestiges of humanity he had left and decided to just pursue power instead.

With no hope left he just decided to give in to his primitive instincts and lust after power, at the expense of family ties. In a way, he might have felt betrayed by his family, and reasoned with himself that unlike the throne and Juri, at least power won’t be stolen away.

BTW, I think his decision to sacrifice Yuki’s real brother to ancestor Kaname was spontaneous and not premeditated. After all, crazy people are unlikely to plan things in advance and just do as their whims dictate...

Maybe it came to him right when he stared at Juri holding her newborn. 

“It’s such irony that this baby was named ‘Kaname’ like you. That’s what got me started thinking of this.”

Because his plan (if he had one) sucked. He should have known that the famished, revived ancestor would attack him, since the blood of a tiny baby was clearly not enough. And yet he made no preparations to fend off such an attack and ended up getting drained by Kaname.

As a side note, Haruka could have killed Rido right then, when Rido was badly wounded by ancestor Kaname. 

But he didn’t, and chose to have Rido imprisoned by the Senate instead. Haruka should have known that Rido would never give up on destroying his family as long as he lived, so the logical thing would have been to kill him. Even Rido mentions this later when he returned for Yuki.

While Haruka’s pacifist nature played a part in this, I think he also restrained himself from giving in to vengeful rage partly out of the fact that they are family, and more likely out of guilt. Perhaps Haruka had always felt guilty for marrying Juri and realized that he was partly responsible for driving Rido insane.

Anyway, Rido crossed the line by killing a helpless baby and basically burned all his bridges. At this point he didn’t really give any fucks anymore. 

Asato mentions how Rido was like a child, even though he has lived so long. I think the analogy fits, because Rido acted like a child throwing a tantrum, trying to destroy everything and doing whatever he pleased with no regard for consequences or others.

In a sense, like Shizuka, Rido had already lost his will to go on living. The only thing keeping him hanging on was the need to lash out. Even though he acted like he was pursuing greater power, aiming to consume Kaname and Yuki to become more powerful, he wasn’t actually trying. 

If he was serious, he would not have gotten easily distracted, suddenly deciding to have Yuki replace Juri instead of continuing with the plan to devour her. Rido also didn’t bother trying to fight seriously at the end and Zero comments on this.

Otherwise Zero and Yuki together could not have beaten him, given how Rido is much older/powerful and consumed at least 2 other purebloods. Even Sara said that Rido was acting foolishly reckless, saying he was just having fun.

                                                             XXX

Overall, given this interpretation of Rido, I actually feel bad for him. I believe that he drove himself crazy wondering why his parents ended the monarchy instead of letting him be the next king, and wondering why Juri chose Haruka over him. Those questions probably haunted him for centuries.

That feeling that you tried your best, did everything you were supposed to, but still ended up with nothing is something I can relate to. Sometimes one just wants to watch the world burn given how unjust life usually is (even though logically we know it is wrong to feel this way). So yeah, these are my headcanons and analysis of Rido, who I prefer to see as a deeper/more interesting character than just a sis-con psychopath LOL.

[groundbreaking-science]

Section 3-2: Amplification

Warning! The following section contains exercises that may cause exhaustion, fainting, dissociation, abreaction and cardiac arrest. No exercise should be undertaken without explicit permission from a medical practitioner, and mental health support may be required for exercise 3.2.5. The reader proceeds at their own risk.

Prerequisites: Exercises in 1.4, 2.1-5, 3.1. Additionally material from section 1.9 is referenced.

The first time my father sensed the Earth and his place in it, a soft dawn was breaking. He stood shaking and gasping for air atop the world's tallest tower, with a view rivalled only by God above. A thick carpet of cloud rolled out to the horizon far below him, the very real verdant lands of Yahhoi still present and visible in glimpses between breaks, and he felt relief.

He'd spent the night screaming in deepest pain and writhing on the indifferent marble floor. He'd flickered between life and death, battling the effects of a poison he'd chosen against all advice to imbibe. It was said that the poison would draw out the drinker's latent power - should the drinker survive the process. My father, at the still tender age of sixteen, was the fifteenth warrior to try and the very first to breathe in the morning's cool air.

In that new light he felt rather than saw life stirring, and he understood the interconnectedness of his own life with the Universe around him. For the first time he sensed a power through the ki-field: the overwhelming strength and evil intent of King Piccolo. With renewed certainty in his abilities my father set out to face down that evil, and the rest is literal history.

After enduring the poison my father obtained the ability to consciously interact with the ki field. Though he wouldn't learn to amplify his abilities with any measured and focused intent for a while, needing guidance from more divine or experienced sources and more powerful, urgent motivators, every one necessitating the honing of a particular element in efficiency or technique. My father's spiritual awakening was slow-going then, though that is not an insult to his effort - even the Monk among our ragtag band took decades to fully master his unlocked potential, and I know there are towering heights I could yet reach.

It is that endless struggle that ultimately gave me the confidence to include this chapter. My current proficiency and my promise to impart certain skills make the work seem simple, but I know I have reached this level with a genetic advantage and a range of thankfully unique life experiences. Yes, nefarious forces could use this chapter to escalate their havoc by orders of magnitude, but that is a highly unlikely outcome, as I'm sorry to say the majority of readers will never achieve a level of amplification that could cause any material damage. Instead I believed it more pressing to think of those curious individuals compelled to perform the "super" techniques covered in the rest of this chapter and beyond, and these skills require ki amplification to perform safely, if at all. And besides, it would never have been fair to keep from you a skill that is considered an Earthling technique at heart.

So whilst I am no God, nor a questionable feline apothecarist making my home amongst the clouds, I am able to employ more traditional teaching methods to improve your ki output with conscious intent, rather than resorting to cryptic life-and-death experiences. And so, in a more measured way, we begin to tie together many elements you have already explored.

Before we delve back into the ki field, I wish to return to the ki we already possess - genki - and the two elements that contribute to the total energy output: the charge (energy per particle) and the flow rate (particles per second). Increasing one or both of these will increase your total genki power output.

The easiest way to achieve a step-change in power output - although impossible for many - would be to utilising a transformation. Simply growing larger means more cells need to be governed, which requires more parcels of genki to be released. You can think of the size of the centre (and therefore the centre's hypothetical surface area) increasing along with the body. A larger surface area with the same flux (flow per unit area) gives a greater power output.

Namekians are able to physically grow in size and therefore power, as demonstrated by Piccolo (the Junior) at the 23rd Martial Arts tournament. This ability is a learnt skill and under conscious control. Saiyans can also grow to gigantic proportions taking on a more ape-like form as Oozaru. Whilst this is an innate transformation and so more accessible (for Saiyans with tails, at least), it requires the reflected sunlight of a full moon to induce, and the Oozaru form does not naturally have a rational mind. Mastery and use of the form is therefore restrictive.

Earthlings on the other hand aren't known for their strength-inducing transformations; the mysterious Shapeshifting Schools utilise magic and transformations in this manner do not appear to grant a power increase. The innate transformation magic of Giants, Manwolves and similar teratoidal folk does grant an increase in power, and zoomorphic people of larger frames will have a greater genki output than the average anthropoidal person, but anthropoidal Earthlings are not granted either of these advantages (by their very definition).

However, Earthlings of all kinds do have access to one technique that will raise the ki particle flow rate: the Kaioken. Against received wisdom I will detail this technique later, if only to emphasize the dangers of trying to learn this skill away from the healing properties of the Heavenly Realm. The technique involves warping the centre's surface, therefore increasing the surface area but preserving the effective volume, allowing more ki particles through. Performed with too much gusto this technique can tear the body apart cell-by-cell, so for those of us bound to the mortal realm, mastery of this technique could take a lifetime.

There is a trade-off to these size increases, however. The pool of ki particles in your centre depletes far faster when deviating from its natural surface area and size. If all particles are used up, you will be left without a way to draw on ki, and will have to rest for an hour to fully replenish.

A further way to boost power output and to much greater effect is to increase the ki particle's average charge. Again some species have access to physical transformations that can achieve this; Frieza's race being one, where various naturally armoured and therefore lower-energy consumption forms reduce the draw on the centre's ki (both in flow rate and charge), and these forms prevent the individual from overwhelming lower ki energy folk around them.

Saiyans have access to another transformation called "Super Saiyan", one that does not increase the size of the body, but does impact every cell, creating a greater demand for charge per particle on the centre. From the combined research of scientists across the Universe, including my own, we know the transformation requires a level of circulating so-called "S-cells" in the body. In brief (as this transformation will be detailed later), high levels of emotion in the body trigger the S-cells to release a message in ki to all cells, asking them to call for more ki in readiness, in turn triggering the centre to release more ki which manifests as a transformation with recognised stages.

The final way to boost your genki output is to use a different version of genki entirely. The Gods and other non-mortals appear to use their own version of ki that is functionally the same in nearly every way, though God ki is more powerful - the reason for which remains unclear. Curiously, God ki is undetectable by mortals unless they receive specific training. Given how parallel they are, I believe then God and mortal ki to be of different chirality.

Chirality is a concept we find in nature. It is woven into the very structure of our bodies, even. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, our mirror image has the same make-up as us - the same number of blemishes on our face and hairs on our head - but there is no way to spin you around to make you look exactly like your mirror image. You and your mirror twin will always be left-right flipped as "optical isomers" of each other. Similarly, some molecules can have exactly the same chemical formula, but the structure can be left-right flipped. In our bodies, one molecule we ingest can fit snugly into a receptor and work as intended, but the optical isomer will be completely ignored (or worse, cause unpredictable damage in the body).

Mortal and God ki then, with their dyadic relationship, can be thought of as chiral mirror images. Unlike chemical optical isomers however, mortals can learn to accept and use the chiral God ki, but it is not natural and so must be unlocked in some manner and developed.

3.2.1 Raising Yuuki With Kiai

Earthlings are Universally known for their ability to change their ki output without reliable access to transformation or divinely developed techniques. Their wide emotional range and social nature can be repurposed or redirected to drive that increase in power. For an instantaneous boost of genki, we can rely on our yuuki. If you recall section 1.9, yuuki (courage) is not a true form of ki but a mechanism of bolstering the flow rate, and comes from reducing fear to free up "effort" and ki-particles and therefore energy otherwise poised to react in a more animalistic fashion to the stressors before us.

Consider the question - "when we run from a bear, do we run because we're afraid? Or are we afraid because we run?" This truth is a mix of both. Calming the mind can calm the body, yes, but changing our physiological state can also affect very real change in our emotions too, which can in turn free up mental capacity for other purposes. Likewise, amping up the body can amp up the mind and ki in tandem.

In section 2.3 we discussed kiai, the guttural yell. We slowed our breathing, using the inward and outward breaths to create a rhythm that our ki synced to. When our core tightened to yell our ki flowed steadily with the breath, expelled with the kiai. Kiai also raises yuuki, as the steady, conscious breathing slows the heart rate, reducing the physical sensations we attach to fear and therefore fear itself, a calming feedback loop. We can then think of that freed energy as released in a short, sharp burst of "courage" instead.

To practise this, perform a push intent with and without kiai. Notice the increase in strength as ki becomes more dense when paired with kiai. Then repeat the exercise, this time explicitly utilising yuuki. Calm the body to begin with, and with the freed capacity of mind, genki should be easier to focus and kiai more effective, the rush of emotion with each kiai honing the intent rather than distracting from it. Practice these four states until you can sense the difference in power, both in quality and quantity. Throughout your practice keep in mind whether your yuuki is well-maintained or not. There is no need to be perfectly physically calm every practice, only to be able to note how calm to better estimate the strength of that day's intents.

3.2.2. Yuuki - Advanced Calming

Slowing one's breathing has the ability to start a soothing chain reaction through the body. But there is a shortcut - to hack our bodily ki intents themselves, intercepting the messages intended for the heart and other systems.

To learn though we must be quiet to begin with. Sit quietly, slow your breathing, and feel the subtle pulse of ki intent that ripples with your heartbeat. Not the ki itself, as that will be flowing through the body at a near constant, rippling with the breath and heartbeat, but the change in intent that drives the heartbeat. This ripple will track back to the upper-right of the heart (close to the body's centre-line) to the pacemaker cells which control the heart's contractions, and will spread from the pacemaker cells to the rest of the heart. These are the intents we must intercept.

Follow these ripples and imagine them slowing - I think of a soothe intent to envelope and slow the beat intent, and before long you'll feel your heartbeat begin to slow too. The other physical symptoms of fear will leave you as the mechanisms triggering them unwind, freeing your mind and therefore affording you yuuki to use for ki manipulation. With familiarity you'll be able to track these ripples when under huge mental and physical stress.

It should go without saying that upsetting homeostatic equilibrium is extremely dangerous. This technique should only be performed for a few seconds before you let the body drive itself again. I only ever use this technique as a kick to my system, like a full-body shiver to reset. Slowing the heart too much will leave you breathless, drop your blood pressure and cause you to faint. Playing too harshly with pacemaker cells directly could cause them to fall out of sync, triggering cardiac arrest.

The next question both the curious and antagonistic among you will ask is whether this same soothe intent will work on others to incapacitate them. The answer is yes but, thankfully, there is an inbuilt difficulty; these homeostatic intents written with a ki signature are so tightly bound to that person's subconscious that overriding the messages takes considerable skill. I know of one assassin using this method to trigger cardiac arrest, and the genki "injection" must be delivered with great, well-practised precision within close-range. Miss and the assassin is wide open for a counter. I do not recommend developing this technique both for the safety of others and your own.

3.2.3 Field Ki

Genki manipulation has its limits. We have a finite amount of genki (created from chemical (food) energy) and a finite number of ki particles to assign it too. So there is a maximum amount of genki that we can release in one instant and whilst substantial, it is most unsustainable.

Instead the most reliable, near limitless way to amplify ki is to increase the charge per particle by converting genki to field ki (banoki). In section 1.9 we discussed the ki field; how the ki field is a lower energy state consisting of a soup of decayed and garbled ki energy separated from us by a barrier of ki particles. In 2.2 we visited the surface of the ki field to read the ripples created by the ki of others. Now we will reach through that undulating surface to harness the ki energy beyond.

Find a comfortable and well-centred position. Lower yourself to the ki-field as when learning to read the ki-signatures of those outside of auratic contact (exercise 2.2.2). Feel the waves of others, those vibrations, and settle 'above' them. Remember, your spirit is tethered to this reality by its very existence, so it would take a deliberate act to cut that tie and fall in. I'd hope by now you would be familiar with this exercise and such visualisations would be of little use, but for now attend to the ripples to aid the next step.

Now, you must expend a little effort and genki. Let your mind follow your decaying genki down to the field and visualise yourself penetrating the waves' surface with a hollow reed of ki, finding your way between the surface of empty ki particles at the still spots between the waves. A through or part intent works well here. Your genki and the field ki energy will meet through the imagined reed. The link will feel tenuous at first, as both your effort and genki used in the process will render the exercise counterproductive in net ki, but do not fret - with a little practice you will break even and then excel.

Once the connection is established, you will need to gather field ki. Imagine the reed straw you've made growing roots, spreading through the endless sea of field ki below to efficiently fill the space. Imagine those fine tendrils reaching, your ki signature spilling out as genki converts to give a semblance of structure in the field ki. Then, suck that captured ki back through the reed, palming it into your very real hands. Retrieving the ki can be tricky - overextend and your fine genki root system will break, essentially wasting that genki as it breaks down far too fast. Spread too little and, whilst safe, some genki will be wasted, unable to touch field ki and convert. Take your time - the amplification will come. Aim to be able to repeat this cycle of reaching and capture as a smooth, continuous flow. When this convoluted process becomes second nature, amplification can be achieved with a simple boost or swell intent.

3.2.4 Storing and Moving Ki

At first, this mix of kis will be heavy and unwieldy to move between foci as your ki signature is weakened through the mass. The usually chatty and fast to react genki will take a while to send intents through the rest of the more neutral ki, the genki acting as lit touchpaper. The best way to manage this mass of ki is to maintain the "rootlike" structure of genki through the mass, enabling fast communication between genki and the furthest section of field ki.

To practice, focus genki between your hands and swell the mass. As you sense the energy convert, try to send the ball of ki from left to right between your hands. Notice how, as you continue to amplify (and at first even lose total ki energy during the conversion) this movement increases in difficulty, demonstrating that as the fraction of genki energy in the focussed ball lessens, it takes more time to propagate your intent from the ordered, ki-signature laden genki to the unstructured mass of field ki.

Notice too, that if you were to apply for example a push intent, the strength of the ability would falter at first, the genki now having to learn how to send out this particular intent as well as apply it to itself. You will be frustratingly back to those early days of learning the basic intents. With time and practice though your skill and dexterity with intents will return - and faster this time around. When you've matched your previous skill level across a variety of intents when using only a tenth or less of the genki usually required without field ki, you will be ready to move on.

In the heat of the moment more powerful techniques will require more ki than can be created instantaneously, necessitating you to charge up the ki intent. There is a fine balance to be had between adjusting your genki flow as and when you need it for amplification, versus letting your mind work on autopilot at a fixed conversion rate to over-produce ki. The former of course saves you energy, but the micro-management could make you slower to counter. It is therefore prudent to know how to amplify and store that ki for later. If charging and amplifying a specific attack, of course bring ki to the focus in question, but to be ready at a moment's notice to push, to explode upwards to fly and to guard, you will need to store ki in an aura.

The fundamentals of this particular technique were covered in exercise 2.4.5, but to recap, use your centre as a focus, but this time expel ki. The ki should surround you in an approximate sphere, ready to be gathered into external foci like hands or feet, to report back to you nearby danger, or to create a near-instantaneous barrier. Remember when charging to use a hold intent too, otherwise the genki, untasked, will degrade. This technique is named "aura-shoring". When performed at high ki energy densities, ki will spontaneously interact with the world, creating an impressive and intimidating visible glow around the body.

3.2.5 Raising Shouki

We don't only trade genki for field ki during amplification. We expend effort to maintain spiritual calmness, shouki. If yuuki is the calmness between mind and body, shouki is our self-assuredness, the calmness between mind and ki. The stronger our connection between mind and ki, the easier amplification becomes. As discussed in 1.9, disrupting this link by agitating an opponent through very incisive taunts will knock their power-level down considerably, as they will be unable to efficiently convert genki to field ki. Now we wish to raise our own shouki.

To do so we must get in contact with our spiritual selves - not necessarily in a religious manner, but to know and speak our own truth. For my father, his brush with death was enough for his young self to begin to attend to that spiritualness, but you do not need to go to such extremes.

Mindfulness, the ability to just be in the present, comes easier to some than others. Mindfulness is not the ability to empty the mind, for that can be frustrating to achieve as worries for the day pop in and out. Instead we must notice those thoughts, the emotional and physical feelings, and maintain curiosity toward them before setting them aside for the moment. This benign distance affords us the ability to take stock. Spending time attending to how genki moves through our body and the environment around us can also assist in this mindfulness process. It is a focus on the here and now, and is something we can do alongside other exercises.

Mindfulness however is not dissociation, where we disown thoughts and experiences as not happening or not our own as a defense mechanism. And that leads me to a warning. For individuals dealing with dissociation as a result of, for example, psychological trauma, forcing the mind back in the body can cause an abreaction and worsen your state of mind. If you find you have constant bad reactions to mindfulness, or exercises and martial arts that encourage this open state of mind, then please seek professional support before continuing further. I know of one individual who broke through life-long trauma through sheer force of will, but it took him decades and could have ended poorly. However, dealing with the emotional block monumentally improved his raw power through yuuki and shouki, so your mental health is worth working on in whatever capacity you can. I also speak from experience. Fluctuating shouki was a difficulty I had in my childhood, and it took a lot of self-compassion and support from family and friends to let go of the guilt a child can swallow when they do not know any better. Simple grounding exercises - feeling the earth between your toes, naming sounds, colours and smells in the world around you - can suffice to bolster shouki somewhat in the meanwhile, and was the technique I used until I could be truly still and in the moment.

I told you once that I made the fortuitous decision to sit cross legged over seiza for twenty hours of a twenty-five hour ceremony. This ceremony, to unlock my fullest potential, required me to keep very still at a time I wanted to do anything but; my friends and family were in grave danger, some even passing away in the meanwhile, and the god performing the magic did not come across as particularly competent. As the hours ticked by I felt no different, only frustrated and wrestling with all my concerns with little else to distract me. It was only as my anger boiled over that I felt the ease at which ki enveloped my clench fists, and I understood the power of stillness. Whilst I know the silent magic of the god played a more than substantial part in my increase in power, I know holding out hope for Earth while confronting myself and my fears during those endless hours did play some part in repairing and raising my shouki, and I am grateful for that time to reflect. I hope you can find this time, too.

With every possible type of amplification in your knowledge and the most accessible at your disposal, it is now time to relearn all techniques with field ki in the mix. I know, I know it feels a step backward, but trust me, this step is a huge leap forward, and will give you access to all the work following on. When - or if - you can amplify the strength of your techniques by a factor of two with only a tenth of the genki available, you will be ready to proceed to the next section on guarding.

next previous first contents ask?

[hotchley]

heyy sumayyah! firstly: i'm so sorry you got hate asks >:( some people really can't be nice... that sucks. i'm back with my hc to (maybe, hopefully) distract you/cheer you up!! just saying, it's LONG and it's kind of angsty in the beginning lmao sorry oops, but it gets a little better towards the end!! i promise!!

tw mentions of (bad) eating habits, very briefly implied abuse/domestic violence and alcoholism, brief mention of almost-fainting!!

so my own horrible eating habits got me thinking of Hotch who already doesn’t eat that much because of how he was raised (on his father’s bad days, his mother wouldn’t even be able to get up to make food and his father would be batshit drunk anyway, so no one made food and there’s nothing at home, and Hotch is too young and doesn’t know how to cook for himself, and that just carried its way into adulthood even after he learnt to cook (for Sean, because Sean is a growing boy and still has to eat and he would do anything to make sure Sean grows up happy) and even after he gets together with Haley, who always has to check in on him to make sure he's eating properly)

like, man would throw himself into his work, sometimes not on purpose but because he just was so intent on finishing just one more document, and time just slipped by and when he looks up again it’s 8pm, the bullpen’s almost empty, and then he realises that he actually hasn’t ate anything since he had his morning coffee. and after especially bad cases (Vincent Perrotta, Carl Buford, Tobias Hankel, that case on the pig farm, Foyet, etc.) he just, avoids food on purpose, distracting himself by finishing all the paperwork he has, even if they’re not urgent, sometimes even completing the team’s paperwork (as much as he can) just because he feels like he’s failed them. the team doesn't deserve to be bogged down by all these bureaucratic issues but he does, because what good is his role as their unit chief if he can’t even shield them from the evil out there, if he has to send his team into the abyss every single time and every time someone else gets more injured/fractured, and the least he could do is to help out the team with what he’s best with, right? all those behind-the-scenes, messy, cutthroat politics, because it’s okay if he takes the brunt of the scrutiny of the brass and if he could he would not even let the team relive what they’ve been through because they don’t deserve that, they don’t deserve having to recount their traumatic experience in a bloody report that will eventually just be filed and chucked aside but will leave emotional and mental scars on his agents that will never be erased.

or sometimes he’s just stressed out and anxious and food just really doesn’t go well with his stomach, and he opts to skip meals entirely - he drinks coffee only because he still needs to keep awake, to make sure he’s paying full attention on all these cases and victims and his team who deserve his 120%, and because his stomach’s been conditioned to accept coffee no matter what (over 10 years of being in the BAU after over another 5? years as a prosecutor, where he drank coffee like his life depended on it). and sure, he’s lost weight, his ribs slightly showing when he raises his hands to reach for things/take off his sweaters, sure he’s looked a little more gaunt and tired as the years go by, sure he’s had some almost fainting spells in his office after a long day without food, where his vision just blacks out for 5 seconds after he stands up and he has to clutch onto the edge of his desk to stabilize himself, but it's okay to him, because he must be the strong, stoic, reliable leader for his team and he can’t faint in his office, not when the blinds are open and the team can look in and when he knows that Derek, Emily and Spencer are all looking in concerned because he hasn’t left his office all day

and i’m just also thinking about how the team would just, do their best to feed him??? like, when they stop for gas on long road trips to/back from cases, he always doesn’t buy anything besides a coffee (black, as usual, with just a dash of sugar and cream on good days) for himself, but then JJ passes him an unopened nutri bar which she claimed she bought earlier for herself but now 'doesn’t feel like eating anymore', Dave silently hands over a cookie (chocolate chip, his favourite) and stares at him with his eyebrows raised until Aaron accepts the cookie and actually eats it, Derek slips a wrap into his hands somehow and offers to drive because 'Hotch, you gotta finish your wrap', Spencer casually asks Hotch if he can help him finish off this sandwich which he bought but cannot finish, and Hotch looks down and sees a perfectly fine egg and ham sandwich which hasn’t even been bitten into, but Spencer’s looking at him with those eyes (he thinks of Jack and how strikingly alike his sons they are) so he takes the sandwich and eats it, Emily openly challenges him and says ‘here’s the bag of chips i owe you, you better finish it all because i took the trouble of actually getting them or else’ and he goes along with it because he’s learnt that arguing with her is sometimes equivalent to arguing with Penelope, and that mostly ends up with him going along with both their ‘suggestions’ in the end anyway, and on the rare cases where Penelope goes with the team out into the field, she always packs homemade cookies and cupcakes that are so wonderfully bright and colourful, like everything about her, and when she gets to him with those sparkling hopeful eyes and says ‘I made these myself, come on, have a taste and let me know what you think?’, Hotch can’t help but accept it because he doesn’t ever want to disappoint Penelope and make her sad, because her bubbly and innocent demeanour reminds him of Jack and he would never do anything to kill that bright light that is Penelope

aND I’m getting some big emotions. imagine all the subtle (& not so subtle) things the team does just to make sure he eats (regularly) which may include and are not limited to: inviting themselves over to Hotch’s house for homecooked meals (Spencer, Derek), inviting him & Jack out on outings or playdates which most often than not end with them at restaurants where Hotch eats because Jack needs a good role model on healthy eating behaviours and he’s got to be that for Jack (Derek, Emily, JJ), or just showing up at his house/office to leave him baked goods/cooked meals that were always somehow ‘extras’ or ‘leftovers’ (JJ, Penelope, Rossi, Spencer) i'm sorry this got so long!! it was written a little over a month ago when i was procrastinating on my literature essay in the middle of the night, so i got a little angsty LOL. i hope this distracts you somewhat from the horrible ask you got! take care of yourself! sending love and hugs <33

🌙

Putting my answer below the keep reading for scrolling x

Aww thank you for sending it!! When I saw I had an ask, I really thought it was you, and then it was that stupid anon and I was like: Oh okay then... I have to go eat dinner so....

Ohh... his childhood... the poor kid would've been so much smaller, but so determined to do everything for Sean because that's his little brother and he loves him more than anything... I love Haley though <3

He would so do that though. He would tell himself he could eat once he's done something- which is really unhealthy, if you're reading this do not ever withhold food, if you're feeling hungry just eat something it doesn't matter what it is because something will always, always be healthier than nothing- and then he would pick something else up and the cycle would repeat...

He would convince himself the coffee is enough, that there's nothing wrong with his habits because he's never done anything different, but he would know deep down that it's not right. But he still wouldn't eat anything because he knows it'll make him naesous either way.

The worst part is what are the team meant to do in that situation? They can't force him to eat... as much as they may want to, they can't...

YES! The team would have a tally chart of who last had to make Hotch eat, so they would have a rota, and occasionally (all the time actually) they would deviate from said rota and then they would all look at each other and then laugh because eh, it's fine!

That ending was so cute, I love them <3

Noo!! Don't be sorry it go so long, I love it so much!! I might have to work it into a fic... wait... one of them may have referenced JJ giving him in a sandwich, unless that was only in my head lol

[helenarlett-rex]

Goosebumps Review #14

So back in January of 2020 I said I would do a review of Werewolf Skin and then I never did it. 2020 sucked. I had other things on my mind. But I guess it’s time I finally go ahead and do that now.

(Spoilers)

Werewolf Skin

Goosebumps (original series) #60

Werewolf Skin was the third to the last book in the original Goosebumps series and the last book in the original series to get a TV episode made of it. The final two books, I Live in Your Basement! and Monster Blood IV would never get TV episodes made of them, or even reprints of the books themselves and would end up languishing in obscurity. In that case of I Live in Your Basement! that’s a real shame because as I said back in my review of that book, it is one of my favorites and one of the best Goosebumps I’ve ever read. And the same can be said about this book as well.

R.L. Stine is kind of a hit or miss author. Sometimes his stuff is great, sometimes he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing... and sometimes I have to tell him to go fuck himself because he’s body shaming again... But when he is writing about werewolves at least, he never seems to do wrong. And yeah, I still haven’t read The Werewolf of Twisted Tree Lodge, The Werewolf in the Living Room, or Full Moon Fever yet, but the three out of six I have read have all been great. So great that I have to wonder why R.L. Stine hasn’t written about werewolves since the Goosebumps 2000 series... We haven’t had a werewolf book from him since 1999...

Werewolf Skin is actually pretty unique in that it takes a slightly different approach to the whole werewolf myth, but not in a way that ruins it like certain other authors who will remain nameless have done when deviating from established tradition. The story is about Alex Hunter, a sixth grader who is really into photography. His parents get called out of the country on business, so they send him to stay with his Aunt Marta and Uncle Colin in the small town of Wolf Creek for a few weeks. His first week there happens to fall on the week of Halloween so the photography magazine Alex reads is holding a contest with a cash prize for whoever can take the scariest photo and Alex is pretty interested in winning that.

Now we get a bit of weirdness right away in this book, and I don’t mean intentional weirdness... I mean R.L. Stine has forgotten how reality works again kind of weirdness. Because even though Alex is only going to be staying with his aunt and uncle for a couple of weeks, they have arraigned for him to attend school there at the local middle school in Wolf Creek for the duration of his visit. And I’m instantly like... What? I’m pretty sure you can’t just trade schools for a couple of weeks like that... What kind of school lets a student enroll for three weeks? I know R.L. Stine doesn’t usually do much (or any) research when he’s writing these books, but come on... The guy used to be a middle school teacher. This is something I would expect him to know...

But okay... that aside... Once Alex gets there his aunt and uncle tell him there is a cute girl his age who lives across the street named Hannah and that he should make friends with her. And then we get another case of R.L. Stine not understanding how reality works because Alex is all like, “A cute girl...? Aren’t there any boys around?” Uhh... It was clearly established that this kid is in the sixth grade. I remember the sixth grade very well. Unless Alex is gay, no sixth grade boy is just going to turn his nose up at the idea of hanging out with a cute girl. Quit being such an old man Stine... I started dating in the sixth grade... And okay... If Alex is gay that’s perfectly fine, but nothing in the book ever indicates that’s the case.

This hesitation from Alex doesn’t seem to last very long though. The moment he meets Hannah his balls finally decide to drop. I’m not kidding. One moment he’s all upset he only has a girl to hang out with, and then the next moment he’s all infatuated with her and can’t stop describing her “husky, breathy voice” and how much he loves it. I’m not entirely such what a husky, breathy voice sounds like, especially on a sixth grade girl... but from how much Alex’s inner monologue focuses on it, it’s pretty clear that it’s doing it for him.

I should also point out that Alex’s uncle gives him two rules that he has to follow while he’s staying there. Rule number one, stay away from the run-down home next door. That’s where the Marlings live and they are a weird, mean old couple who don’t like anyone coming near their house. And rule number two, stay out of the forest surrounding the town at night. You know... Standard horror clichés that the characters will then refuse to elaborate on, thus driving the protagonist to only be even more interested in doing those things...

Although there’s some conflict between his aunt and uncle about the whole refusing to elaborate on things. When they are first driving him to their house his aunt asks him what he wants to be for Halloween and Alex answers that he wants to be a werewolf. This causes his uncle to freak out and almost lose control of the car. His aunt then asks his uncle if he was thinking about them? “When he said you wanted to be a werewolf you thought about them, didn’t you?” Which of course only makes Alex’s uncle get mad and tell her to stop talking about it. But this situation comes up a few times in the book. Alex’s aunt seems to think Alex should be told about them... we are assuming she means the Marlings... but his uncle is pretty against it and keeps telling her to stop talking about that in front of Alex.

Although his uncle isn’t the only one having that kind of reaction about the topic of werewolves. When some kids from school ask him what he wants to be for Halloween he tells them werewolf as well and they also have similar reactions... Until one kid finally tells him “We already have enough werewolves in Wolf Creek.” And I realize this review is getting pretty long winded but unlike most Goosebumps, this one actually has a lot of detail that builds up the story as apposed to the first half of the book just being filler like I normally see in these books.

But in an attempt to make a long story short, too late, I know... Alex is so dense about everything that Hannah finally just breaks down and tells him that the Marlings are werewolves. It seems to be something everyone in the town knows about but doesn’t seem to do anything about. And of course Alex’s reaction to this is the reasonable one of, Uhh... This is the twentieth century... There’s no such thing as werewolves... Which is why he was so dense about figuring it all out in the first place. He’s not going to jump to the conclusion of, Oh! The Marlings must be werewolves! when he doesn’t believe in werewolves.

This changes when he starts hearing animal sounds coming from next door at night and he watches out his window as two werewolves come crawling out of the Marlings house. I have to give the book credit for actually getting to the werewolf stuff pretty early in the book. While I also loved The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, that one didn’t actually show us any real werewolves until the very end of the book. It was still a great book, but there wasn’t actually a lot of werewolf action in it. This book only give us one night of build up, with Alex forgetting his camera out in the woods and having to go out after it before it gets ruined in the rain, stumbling across some animals that have been ripped apart, and trying to find his way back home in the dark while hearing the sounds of something else out there... But then by night two we have werewolves right out in the open. That’s kind of refreshing.

And I’d like to take a moment to talk about how this book actually puts a different spin on the werewolf myth. Because remember how I said that the whole town more or less believes the Marlings are werewolves? Well this town believes in werewolves so much that they actually teach about them in school. During one of the classroom scenes in this book we get to learn the rules of how werewolves work in this setting. It turns out when you get bit by a werewolf you turn into one when the moonlight touches you. Not just the full moon... Any moonlight. But then when the sun comes up a werewolf actually sheds it’s skin. It then keeps its skin, or pelt I guess... like a fursuit. Then every night after that, when the moon comes out, the werewolf is compelled to put its fursuit back on which turns it back into an actual wolf monster. So werewolves are just furries who can’t stop fursuiting at night. Who knew...? And of course the only way to kill a werewolf is to find its skin while he isn’t wearing it and destroy it. If you destroy the skin you kill the werewolf.

Anyways, Alex gets tricked by some kids at school who tell him they know a place in the woods where the werewolves go to drink out of a pond every night and they want him to meet them there at midnight so he can see it. Now that he actually believes in werewolves, having seen them himself, Alex agrees, thinking that if he can get pictures of the werewolves he can win that photography contest, but when he tries to sneak out that night, he finds that his aunt and uncle have locked him in his room. There is no scene of the werewolves trying to break into his room at night like there was in the TV episode, but we do find out that when he goes back to school the next day the kids are making fun of him because it was all a lie and they didn’t go out into the woods that night, thinking they tricked him into tramping through the woods alone all night. Alex doesn’t tell them that he didn’t go either because he didn’t want to tell them that his aunt and uncle locked him in his room, so instead he tells them he did go and he took pictures of the werewolves. But of course that leaves him with the problem of now they want to see the pictures and he doesn’t have any...

So of course that means there’s only one thing to do. The next night he rigs the door lock with chewing gum and sneaks out to follow the werewolves through the woods to he can take pictures of them. He tries to get Hannah to come with him, but when he knocks on her bedroom window in the middle of the night she refuses to come out. So he tramps off into the woods on his own, follows there werewolves, gets a lot of pictures of them, and actually makes it back unharmed. Not to say it wasn’t a tense couple of chapters... But when daylight finally comes and he follows the werewolves back to the Marlings’ house and watches them take their fursuits off, we get the big reveal.

Oh look at that... Aunt Marta and Uncle Colin are actually the werewolves and the Marlings don’t even exist. It’s just an abandoned house they use to store there werewolf skins in... Although I will say the twist was handled pretty well. I didn’t actually see it coming. But that’s not the end of the book. Like I said, this book had a lot to it. Because now that Alex knows his aunt and uncle are werewolves, he has to decide what to do about it.

The next day is finally Halloween and after he tells Hannah what happened she has an idea to deal with it. They don’t want to kill his aunt and uncle, so they decide that once they leave to go trick-or-treating that night, they will sneak over to the house, steal the werewolf skins, and then wear them themselves. The idea is to go trick-or-treating in the aunt and uncle’s werewolf skins and when the aunt and uncle can’t find them, they will be forced to go the whole night without turning into werewolves. In other words, they are planning to cure the aunt and uncle by making them go cold turkey.

The aunt and uncle figure this out sooner than expected and Alex and Hannah don’t get very far away in the werewolf skins before they show up and start chasing them, demanding they give them back their skins. Alex and Hannah manage to stay away from them long enough that when the full moon reaches the highest point in the night sky the curse is broken and the aunt and uncle are no longer compelled to put the skins on anymore. And naturally at this point I’m wondering why the skins haven’t turned Alex and Hannah into actual werewolves instead. Does it just not work if it’s not their own skins? That seems like a bit of a shame. That would have been a perfect twist ending. They managed to cure the aunt and uncle but became werewolves themselves in the process. Then Alex could have a werewolf girlfriend! But no... It doesn’t seem to work that way...

With the curse broken, they all decide to go back to the aunt and uncle’s house to celebrate and Alex tells Hannah “Let’s go put these skins back in the old house where no one will find them.” Hannah starts getting nervous about that but before she can stop him he’s already gone inside, and once he is in there he finds another werewolf skin still in the house. When Hannah comes in he is confused, wanting to know how there is already a skin there when they are both wearing his aunt and uncle’s skins... to which Hannah tells him that she isn’t wearing his aunt’s skin. She’s wearing her own skin. And when Alex still doesn’t seem to get it, she tells him he’ll understand soon enough, before pouncing on him and biting him.

Werewolf girlfriend!

Honestly this is probably one of the longest Goosebumps reviews I’ve written and there was still a lot of stuff I didn’t even mention. The book just had a lot to it and for once, it didn’t feel like it was filler to pad out the page length. It wasn’t even full of fake-out scares like most Goosebumps are. There were a few I guess, but with actual werewolf stuff happening from very early on in the book, there just wasn���t any need for constant fake-outs. It was pretty nice. And I probably spent more time than I really should have just rambling on about what happened without actually critiquing things... but there just wasn’t a whole lot to critique. Other than a few weird things in the beginning, like enrolling in a different school for only three weeks... the book was more or less fine and I didn’t have anything to complain about.

Definitely one of my top ten Goosebumps books. I’m very happy to see Alex and Hannah get to become a cute werewolf couple. And I’m sure Goosebumps has long been responsible for so many kids discovering new fetishes, so I just have to wonder how many kids developed a suit transformation fetish because of this book?

[celestialdr]

My Script

So I’m posting up my script here if anyone's interested. This is for my main DR in the D:BH Universe.

It’s kinda long.

*WARNING: very self indulgent.*

Intro

My DR is set in the D:BH universe. In Detroit, 2039. I am a young Detective at the DPD.

All events that happened in my play trough of DBH happen in this reality. EG. Markus = Peaceful Revolution. Kara= Her, Alice and Luther all escape to Canada together. Connor = Becomes Deviant.

Hank and Connor become like father and son. Connor moved in with Hank after the events of DBH.

I have been working at the DPD as a detective for about a year now, I was very excited to be working alongside my dear friend Trey Greene (OC), who actually ended up being my partner. We do almost every investigation together.

During my time at the DPD I have become fast friends with Hank and Chris. Gavin is okay, we joke and banter but I wouldn’t say we are buds. I disliked his attitude towards Hank and his dislike of androids. But if he changes, who knows, maybe we can be friends. Idk.

I always supported android rights, even before there where deviants. I always treated androids with kindness and compassion.

I first met Connor on the 6th of November 2038, back before he was deviant. I was always kind to him and had a fondness for him. When Connor first saw me he stopped for a minute in a miniature awe, the stereotypical love at first sight motif. Although he did not know it at the time - him not being deviant yet. A software instability entered his program upon seeing me. In fact, anytime we made eye contact or talked he got a software instability. It baffled him.

The first time he saw me after deviating he was hit with butterflies, it didn’t take too long to realize what it was, he had a huge crush on me. He kept it to himself but Hank knew immediately.

It is now January the 8th 2039, Connor and I have become quite good friends but his feelings for me only continue to grow. We've only known each other for 2- 3 months but Connor is falling in love fast and now he's decided to finally pluck up the courage and admit his feelings to me and ask me out. How will he do this? I don’t know yet.

______

World

 After the events of DBH, Androids start getting rights, relatively quickly.

Laws are implemented to protect androids. Androids are free. They can own property, get paid for working and all of the things Markus was advocating for.

As time goes on Androids fully integrate into our society and we mostly live in peace. Hate crime of any kind is rare.

Android politicians start to pop up. Android Pride day exists. Androids can marry each other and humans. Android/Human relationships are normalised. Androids can adopt. Etc.

_______

Shifting

 1 hour - 1 day

. While I am in my DR my clone is sleeping in my CR.

. I have a Healthy attachment to my DR and I recognise the importance of my CR.

. I remember everything from both realities vividly while I'm in the other unless I script otherwise.

· I can fully trust my clone. My clone acts identical to me.

· When I shift back to my current reality time stops in my DR. The next time I go to my DR everything continues where I left off.

 · I can use the LIFA app in my DR to see what my clone is doing in CR.

· I only shift back to my CR when I want to, I can’t go back on accident.

· My safe phrase for coming back to my CR is “I want to go back to my Current Reality.” or even as simply as I make it my intention, then I can go back.

·  Nothing traumatic happens to me in my DR.

· When I come back to my CR, I will remember everything that happened in my DR.

· When I shift, I wake up in my DR bedroom.

 · When I am shifted I smell cinnamon and my eyes automatically open.

· I cannot die or get very hurt in my DR.

. I am able to fully Integrate Into my DR self’s life. e.g. Rembering my DR self’s past, feeling comfortable and normal talking to and interacting with people in my DR selfs life. Having all the skills and knowledge my DR self has.

. No one from my CR or other realities can enter my DR without my permission.

.My guardian Angel or one of my angels or guides from my DR has decided to help me shift. Whenever I try to shift in this reality the Angel assits me and pulls my CR self into My DR.

_______

About Me

I have the same name, b-day etc but I am 25 Years old.

Childhood and teen years, pretty similar to CR.

Everything is pretty much the same except added skills talents or whatever else I script.

 Physical

·  I Look like myself but 10x prettier.

·  I have my dream body, which always stays perfect and in shape. Similar to my body type only toned and fitter.

·  I have perfect, white straight teeth.

. I always have good breath.

· I always smell great - My sweat doesn’t smell.

· Low, silent gas that doesn’t smell.

· I usually smell like ‘Soap and Glory’ products.

· I have Beautiful hair that is easily maintained. My hair is also a slightly lighter blonde.

· I have my Ideal, natural eyebrows.

·  I have soft, clear skin and I am slightly tanner than in my CR. 

· I am beautiful from all angles.

· I have long eyelashes.

·  I have a straight, cute nose.

·  I always have good hygiene.

·  I never gain weight when I don’t want to, my body is always slim and never bloated.

·  If I ever get pregnant, after having my baby, my body goes quickly back to the way it looked before.

· I don’t have to shave too often.

· If I ever decide have a baby, my pregnancy will be safe and my child will be safe. It will be born happy and healthy.

· I have perfect senses.

·  I can be fully functional with little sleep.

· I have good stamina and am physically fit.

· I still have my accent. 

· I have a naturally beautiful face with and without make up.

· My make-up sits perfectly on my face and stays all day until I take it off.

· My make-up never runs.

· I always have nicely manicured nails.

·  I always look well groomed. 

Health

 · I have high pain tolerance.

· My period only lasts two days and doesn’t hurt too bad.

· I can only get pregnant if actually wanting too.

· I am always safe.

·  I am divinely protected at all times.

· I am well rested and perfectly healthy.

· I can think clearly.

· I have good mental health - maybe went through similar mental health issues when I was younger but now am perfectly healthy and able to cope.

· I do not scar.

· I heal fast.

· 𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖻𝖾 too overly 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽 to my DR and I will not get any trauma.

·  I eat healthy, and enjoy healthy foods.

· I drink plenty of water

·  I have balanced chakras, Good intuition and I radiate love and light.

·  I can easily communicate with angels.

Skills

·  I am a skilled detective. I know exactly what to do and I have all required skills.

·  I am an excellent shot.

·  I have excellent fighting and self-defence skills.

· I have high intelligence.

· I'm never badly hurt in the line of duty. Extremely lucky (like domino in dp2.) If I ever get hurt in DR its only minor. No one is suspicious about it.

·  I'm a good writer.

· My art skills are always better in my DR than in CR.

· I have a good memory and deduction skills. Good reasoning skills.

· I am socially confident and charismatic.

· I am an excellent speaker.

· I am good at reading people.

· I give good advice.

· I am a good friend.

· I am a great kisser and fantastic in bed.

· I am hard working and have lots of patience.

· I'm a great singer and can play piano, guitar.  

·  I know French and Irish.

·  I know how to drive.

· I'm really good at make-up.

·  I'm really funny.

·  People easily trust me.

Life

· I have all knowledge my CR self has.

· I had a relatively easy life.

· I come from a wealthy family.

· I am always full of motivation and energy.

·  I have an amazing closet full of clothes, including both new clothes and my CR self's clothes.

· I have all of my current realities belongings. (Well, the stuff that I want with me.)

· I have a ton of art supplies.

· I live in my own house which I can afford with ease.

· I have a cute golden retriever called Bailey who is okay alone in the house while I'm at work.

· Bailey is a year old and is fully trained.

· I have a nice car that is self-driving.

· I have a good phone with the LIFA app

·  I get to travel to cool places on holidays/vacation.

· While I'm in my DR I don’t confuse my CR's past with my DR's.

· All my fave shows, music, movies are also in my DR.

· I have lots of friends and make friends easily.

· I remember my past in the DR and can reference it with ease.

· I never have to kill as a detective, I can always disarm or find another solution.

· I won't get fired from my job.

· I'm good at my job and I know how to do my job well.

· Trey is my partner and our desks are beside each other.

·  I'm also friends with Chris and Hank.

·  My friends are always there for me. My friends care about me.

·  Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.

·  I am a really great at manifesting what I want in my DR.

·  People I don’t want to, won’t die or get very hurt.

·  People from my DR never notice if I'm not there because when I’m not there, my clone takes my place. (Although I probably won't use my clone too often because I plan to pick up where I left off most of the time.)

·  I know all passcodes and important numbers of my DR self's life. E.g. Passwords, phone numbers, etc.

·I have a Spotify/ (or whatever the equivalent to it is in this reality) filled with music that I like. Maybe some of the playlists that I have in CR.

· I'm quick at picking up skills.

· If I ever decide to change career in my DR, I can do so with ease and get whatever job I want.

·   I have nice, tidy handwriting.

Family

I come from a wealthy family. We moved from N.I. to America - Detroit in 2025. (Moved Because dad was offered a great job.) *family all have our green cards.*

Family is friends with Carl Manfred.

A very loving, healthy and supportive family.

* In my actual script I go into more detail about my family. but i’ll give you a brief rundown. I chose to shift to a reality with a different family from my CR family because I thought if I had a different family and friends it will give me more of a reason to come back to my CR. So I can have balance? idk...*  

My DR dads name is Patrick, DR mums name is Mary and my DR brothers name is Lucas.

Family support and are okay with my relationship with Connor because they recognise androids as living beings.

Last but Not least! Bailey!

Bailey is my one year old Golden retriever. She is very well trained and is an absolute angel. She also really loves Connor.

House

I live in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath house with Bailey. *In my actual script I stuck in a bunch of pictures of a house I built in the sims 4.*

Friends

So, I'm not going to go through all the friends I scripted on here but I’ll tell you about my best friend from my DR. My partner from work, Trey Greene. He’s 27, a leo (like me) and gay. (I honestly made my entire friend group LGBTQ+ LOL)

I may have also scripted that jenna marbles is there and shes my friend lol.

Connor

*Okay now to the real reason I'm shifting, the love of my life.*

Connor falls in love with me the moment he sees me. Although he may not understand what it is at first because he hasn’t deviated yet. When he fully deviates he realises his feelings. He's a little shy about it at first but eventually asks me out. We date and fall in love and end up in a loving healthy relationship. We respect each other's boundaries and are completely in love. Like stereotypical soulmates.

 Connor is very romantic and affectionate. Literally like a prince charming.

 When we get together we are in a healthy relationship and both of us are completely faithful. I can trust Connor fully because I know he is trust worthy and always has my best intentions at heart.

 . We have similar love languages.

.  Connor is super-duper romantic and calls me sweet names like "My love."

. Much Like me in this DR, Connor is completely protected and safe with extremely good luck.

After the events of DBH and Connor is deviant. Amanda and cyberlife no longer have any control over him.

 NSFW warning - Skip to Lifa if your not comfy.

Connor's model was created fully equipped with regular male genitalia (which is about 7 inches.)

He is very vocal in bed and is great at dirty talk. He can do loving romantic sex and also kinky rough sex too.

 Lifa

Lifa is an app on my smart phone that only I have access to. Others don’t notice it. (like hidden in plain sight.)

 It can only be noticed by others if I decide I want to show it to someone.

 Lifa allows me to script while in my WR. It also allows me to see myself in CR.

Lifa updates me when its nearly time for me to wake up or reminds me when. As if it's like a timer.

 Lifa doesn’t require internet. It has maps on it. I can look at my money and add to my money if I so wish. (if I add money it doesn’t ruin the economy.) idk magic lol

 I can also access in online on a computer or tablet or any device that carries the internet.

 No one else can use it unless I specifically allow it.

 I will be alerted by this app if my clone wakes up.

 I always have my phone near me. I can never lose it. Its also always fully charged.

 If I get a new phone. Lifa automatically downloads on it and deletes off the old phone.

MISC.

· When androids deviate they are able to feel pleasure, touch, etc.

· Androids actually do have souls and are actually a new life form.

· After revolution CyberLife starts to create things for androids like upgrades. E.G. Taste, ability to do almost everything humans can.

 · Most people are environmentally conscious.

· The earth is healing and people are taking better care of the planet. A lot more environmentally conscious options.

·  The ocean, air, atmosphere and earth are all 70% cleaner than in CR.

·  Racism, homophobia, sexism are quite rare. Ultimately society frowns upon such things.

·   Humans and Androids live in peace

· Shortly after the revolution, Kamski got repointed as CEO of Cyberlife. Cyberlife now focusing on the needs of Androids and helping them adjust into the world.

·  Youtube still exists and is relevant.

·   Bagel Bean and Boojum exist in Detroit and aren't too far from my home. (These are food places back at where I'm from that are bomb.)

·  No crisis with bees.

. The Police and justice system are reformed.

·   No threats of ww3.

·  I don’t live too far from work.

·  All the videogames I like still exist, (except for dbh obvs.)

· We can buy Cadburys and Pujana tea in America. (Things I like in the UK.)

• Food in US is similar to food in UK. e.g. same food laws and food that is actual tasty / healthy. LOL 

(sorry, I've been to America and the food there tastes weird, man.)

Future

Now that the androids have rights, Cyberlife has to free all active Androids. Eventually they get around to RK900. Cyberlife only created one RK900 as a prototype before the revolution.

The RK900 goes by the name Nines. He ends up working in the DPD. (Months later.)  It takes a while for Nines to deviate but he eventually does. Nines is rather stoic but he is nice. Him and Connor have a brotherly bond. Nines becomes friends with me, Connor, Hank and Trey. (Part of our little found family.)

 In the future, when Connor and I are both ready we get married and have kids (either through adoption or sperm donation or maybe they find a way for androids to have kids in the future, idk?)

 In the future me and Connor buy our dream house together.

--

So, Yeah that's what I've scripted so far. I keep one script on my PC and one in a notebook under my bed. 

Feel free to use any ideas or concepts from my script