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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

#bnha 299 #takami keigo #hawks (bnha)#best jeanist #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I found peace in your violence #can't tell me there's no point in trying #I'm at one #and I've been quiet for too long

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atlabeth · 4 years ago

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neighborly things - sokka x fem!reader

summary: reader can’t make things for shit. thankfully, she has a cute and crafty neighbor willing to help her.

a/n: im so sorry lmao. i have requests and i have 2 series that havent been updated in like a month but sometimes i just need to write a stupid little oneshot to get back in the writing mood. i did this in an hour

im not a screwdriver expert so dont come at me if some of this info is wrong lmao

wc: 1.6k

warning(s): some cursing but otherwise pure fluff. also i didnt proofread im SORRY im pretty sure they laugh grin and smile like 200 times

“Dammit!”

Anyone unfortunate enough to have a place near you during this time would have heard the phrase on more than twenty occasions, and it wasn’t even noon yet. You had gotten the parts in the mail to put together a new dresser a couple days ago, and had finally decided to take on the task. You didn’t know if it was because you were inexperienced with furniture or just lacked basic comprehension skills, but it was proving to be no less than Herculean.

You threw the screwdriver at the wall and fell back to the floor as you let your arms sprawl out above you. You had been trying to screw in a part for no less than thirty minutes, and if a miracle didn’t happen right about now, you were going to lose your mind.

Your head snapped towards the door when she heard a knock, and your brows creased. “God?” You muttered as you got up, wondering if you had actually thought a miracle into existence.

You weren’t greeted by a deity when you opened the door, but the man standing in front of you was pretty damn close. With ocean blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail with shaved sides, and toned arms, he was a sight to behold. But you had no idea why he was in front of your door.

“Hey, are you okay?” He questioned, genuine concern in his tone.

“Um, yeah, why?” You were trying to rack your brain for any memory of this guy — because you knew you would remember him if you had seen him before — but to no avail. “Also, who are you and why are you here?”

“Right,” he chuckled. “My name’s Sokka. I’m your neighbor; I live—” he gestured at the door just next to your place, “—over there. Moved in a couple weeks ago, so that’s probably why you don’t know me. I’ve just been hearing a lot of cursing and loud noises coming from your place, so I figured I would stop in and see what was going on.”

“Oh. That’s.. very considerate of you, Sokka. I’m just…” you sighed and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I’m just trying to put together a dresser, and it’s not going well at all. That latest sound you heard was the culmination of my rage. I threw a screwdriver at the wall.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” he laughed. “Listen. I don’t wanna intrude on you or anything, but I happen to be pretty good at putting things together. I had to do a lot of furniture construction when I first moved in, plus I’m the one all my friends call when they need help with putting anything together. I could probably help you with whatever’s troubling you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Oh, no. I just go door to door joking around with people, asking if they need help with their furniture, sometimes I ask if their refrigerator is running? It really gets a kick out of them.”

You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly and stepped aside so he could enter your apartment. “Thank you so much, Sokka. I’ve read the instructions a million times, I seriously don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

He crouched down and picked up the manual, turning to a dog-eared page and skimming over the instructions. He pointed at the screwdriver you had thrown against the wall and glanced back at you. “Is that the one you’ve been using?”

You closed and locked the door behind him then walked over to the wall, picking up the unfortunate victim of your anger and spinning it in your hands. “Yeah, why?”

“Do you know what kind it is?”

“Um.. maybe? God, I don’t know. I think it’s a Phillip’s head?”

Sokka laughed and shook his head, holding up the manual so you could see it. “That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a Pozidriv for these screws — they’re similar enough that anyone can make a mistake.”

You stared at Sokka in complete amazement — apparently, your savior lived next door, and he came in the form of a handsome guy with basic knowledge on putting furniture together. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you said as you walked over and took the booklet from himl. You flipped through it a couple times and read over the part, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” you repeated, louder this time. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get that thing to- to work, to screw, to— whatever you call it?”

“It’s actually to—”

“Thirty minutes!” You interrupted, earning a small chuckle from Sokka. “Thirty damn minutes that I have been trying to get that screw in, and it’s all because I was using the wrong screwdriver. Why would they make screwdrivers that are so similar but aren’t interchangeable?!”

He shrugged and held up his hands. “Don’t ask me — I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But like I said; this dresser might fall apart if you keep using this thing. I actually have a Pozidriv back at my place, I can go get it and we can finish this up together.”

“God, that would be the biggest help,” you admitted. “But I don’t wanna take up your time — I don’t know how I would even repay you.”

“I’m doing this because I want to help you,” he said. “You don’t have to repay me. Think of it as… as a neighborly thing.”

“A neighborly thing?” you repeated with a laugh. “Well, if you’re offering, I’m definitely not going to refuse.”

“I am offering,” Sokka winked. “And unless you want to be at this for another three days, I think you should take that offer.”

You pretended to deliberate over it before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll let you help me. I mean, really you should be thanking me for this brilliant opportunity to, um.. hone your skills.”

He laughed, a brilliant sound that made your heart sing, and nodded as he went back to the door. “Thank you so much for letting me put together this dresser. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Then I’m happy to be of assistance.”

Sokka grinned then unlocked and opened the door. “I’ll be right back, then we can get started.”

Once he got back, the two of you got to work. The next three hours passed so quickly as you and Sokka talked about everything from the work you did to people in your lives (no girlfriend, thankfully), to exchanging stories — even the silence, though rare, was comfortable.

Sokka pushed the last drawer into its place then clapped his hands as he stood up, admiring the fruits of your labor. “And that’s it! We’re done.”

“Wait, we’re done? Already?” You set down the instruction manual and stood up as well, backing up to Sokka’s position to see what he saw. “Wow, that looks.. that looks just like the picture. We are good at this! Well, you’re really good at this, I’m good at keeping you entertained. But still!”

You held your hand up for a high five and he laughed, but not without meeting it with a satisfying clap.

“It does look pretty good,” he admitted. “And not only do you have a brand new, fully functioning dresser, you also had the priceless experience of spending three hours with the neighbor you know nothing about.”

“That’s not true,” you countered. “I know that you’re really good at putting things together, you’re a genius when it comes to anything math or science, and you hate blueberries.”

Sokka snickered and brushed his hands off on his jeans. “That’s everything there is to know.”

“I dunno, Sokka. You seem like a pretty interesting guy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s not every day that someone offers to put together a whole dresser just because they feel bad.”

“Well—” he tore off a blank part of the instruction manual and picked up a spare pen from the counter, then put it up against the wall as he scribbled something on it. Sokka put the pen down and handed the slip of paper to you with a smile. “If you ever need any more help with furniture, then call me.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up as you took the paper. Your fingers brushed ever so slightly as you took the slip of paper, and you decided to just go for it. You bit back a grin and tried to sound as innocuous as possible. “And if I want to get to know you beyond the blueberries?”

Sokka laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “Definitely call me.”

“Great.”

The two of you smiled at each other like idiots for way too long before a notification from his phone broke the silence. He jumped from the sudden noise and dug his phone out of his pocket, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, my sister just texted me and I gotta get over to her place.” Sokka started towards the door then paused and turned around. “I actually had a lot of fun doing this, though. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You knew you had that same smile on your face, but it just wouldn’t go away. His energy was contagious. “Definitely.”

“Great.” He winked at you one last time then left, closing the door behind him, and finally snapping you out of your spell.

You leaned against the dresser and stared at the slip of paper in your hands, committing the number to memory.

You were definitely going to take him up on that offer.

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin

#avatar the last airbender #avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender fic #atla fic #avatar fic #sokka #sokka atla #sokka avatar #sokka fic #sokka x reader #sokka x reader fic #sokka x you #sokka x y/n #avatar x reader #avatar the last airbender x reader #sadie writes

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dragonrajafanfiction · 4 years ago

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Chizuru Town: The Dark and the Cold

TW: perverts TW: Death TW: Blood TW: Dragon Raja LMAO

Caesar and the MC should have been best friends. I kid you not. Revamped Story Quest in Chizuru below the cut!

In Siberia, winter hung long and low. Just as the tropic summer never seemed to end, the frigid canopy of arctic air never really left the place. For a few months, the sun didn’t rise over the horizon. At the peak of what should have been day, you only saw the glow of what looked more like the start of the dawn, before the sun rolled over and fell back under the horizon. Darkness descended in full and the stars were your only source of light unless you made your own.

The cold was so oppressive that it froze the sea. At night, instead of waves crashing on a golden shore, the ocean groaned like someone dying. Only in the summer, when the ice and permafrost softened, did you see hints of green. But they were always short. Eventually, the winter returned. Those who wanted to pretend it would not return were caught out by the fierce wind, unprepared, and froze to death in seconds.

Darkness and cold were embedded in you, MC, more than the weather. You understand the harshness of the world. Even though Caesar was doing his best to ‘play by the rules’ that icy law of ‘survival of the most deadly' was creeping up to surround all of you, like frost on a window. It had swallowed up Kitty and now Ms. Makoto. Only Caesar, Chu Zihang, and Lu Mingfei were left.

If that icy law dared threaten them, you would not hold back or play by any rules.

Caesar glimpsed this reality and tacitly acknowledged that Kitty’s death and Makoto’s offering to serve as bait for the gangsters was not in his game plan. He was looking outside down the drainage pipe through the hole in the wall of the dilapidated locker room. He could see the street below.

A heavy rain storm had moved over the city of Chizuru. EVA had darkened the city to help you escape the eyes of the Hydra underworld gang, but soon her grip would lose out to Kaguya, the Hydra’s own supercomputer.

Below, Caesar saw cars parked, engines still running, lights still on. Doubtless, these gangsters thought this would be a quick and easy job. Plus, the headlamps of cars served as good illumination. So they didn’t worry about them getting stolen. After all, they ran this town. No one dared touch their cars for fear of getting killed over it. Caesar nodded once. “Let’s see how good these kids are at racing.”

Kids. The word makes you want to spit acid. They were quite young but had nearly killed you countless times!

Caesar turned to look at you, gauging your reaction. “They are just kids. I hold the adults behind them more responsible.”

You stare back at him in silence but your expression is blank, listening. Your mind offers no arguments against the facts. Caesar’s logic seeps through, melting your frozen emotions. They had pursued you relentlessly, as if under strict orders not to leave until you were confirmed dead. Some of their weapons were military grade. It was true that children -- sixteen to twenty year olds -- wouldn't have been able to acquire such immense firepower without some sort of help from a higher authority.

Caesar’s eyes drop from your face. “Is that a local high school uniform?”

“Yes,” you say, your voice unexpectedly hoarse.

“Change out of it into one of the cheongsams here. I’ll be taking the car and I don’t want to be seen in a sports car with someone who looks like a high schooler. They might mistake me for one of those perverts!”

Even now, he was thinking of something like this? He could have escaped immediately but was concerned about his image? You quickly obey, snatching one of the red and gold cheongsams with a Chinese dragon embroidery off the hangers and stepping into the dressing room.

As you remove our clothes, you hear Caesar say. “Fold it up neatly, so we can return it to whomever you got it from.”

Your eyes widen in disbelief. Well, of course, you needed to steal it. But you never thought once of taking it back. As you slip into the cheongsam, the smooth fabric falls over your skin. A mirror lays against the wall and you use it to pull the zipper up in the back. The cheongsam clings to your form like a second skin.

Caesar wasn’t just following the rules. If he was just following the rules, he wouldn’t have cared about any of this.

You had told Caesar about your experience in watching your young friends get killed. He wanted to get back at those people, not become one of them by killing anyone young himself. No matter how hard things got, Caesar was the same because he believed in what he did and required everyone around him to rise to the same standard of morality.

You step out of the dressing room and Caesar nods. “Alright, let’s go. Zihang, you can pick whatever granny car suits you best. I’ll be in the Black Viper!” He grinned broadly.

“Will Ms. Makoto be alright?” Lu Mingfei asked.

Chu Zihang nodded slightly. “She wasn’t seen with us. And they’re under orders. If they were going to hurt her, they would have done so right then and there. She’ll be fine.”

“Excuse me, my lady.” Caesar bends over to pick you up and keep you out of the dirty water.

You take the pipe two streets down and then hurry back to the running cars. Even now, Caesar opens the door for you first and then slides over the hood to the other side. The car interior is shiny and black with an LED touch panel lighting it up like a spaceship. In the center console, you spot a bag of white powder.

“Heroin?” You ask.

He points to the door on the other side of you. “Put on your seatbelt. How did you know it was heroin?”

“We used such medicine in Russia, I should know how to identify it.”

“To you, it’s medicine. Here it’s illegal drugs used to hype up the gangsters and also to make money. No wonder they were so crazy and could afford such vehicles.” Caesar opened a fuse box and started pulling out wires. While he worked, he asked, “Have you ever been in a car like this?”

“No.” You say, tucking the high school uniform under the seat. “Where I’m from, the only way to get around is either by ship or by dogsled.”

He grins. “Good. You’re about to get the ride of your life!”

“Ah, in return, then I will take you dog sledding.”

“You mean it?” Caesar immediately whipped his head around. His eyes glowed with excitement and joy, like a child being told they were going to Disney World. He was so enthusiastic that you felt embarrassed. In that sudden smile, you realized that he was actually quite good looking.

“It’s… It’s not all that special.”

“What would be more special than riding on a dogsled with a beautiful lady?” He sat up and put on his own seatbelt while continuing to work on the car’s controls.

The car isn’t free to move however. There are vehicles parked around, blocking your way out. But you don’t see Chu Zihang or Lu Mingfei in any of them.

“Beautiful?” You look at him with a confused expression. No one had ever called you beautiful before. You shake your head. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better about Kitty.”

His eyes narrow and he suddenly grins in a way that reminds you of a devil. “No, this is how I get back at them for Kitty.” He yanked on the gear shift between the leather seats and slammed down on the accelerator. The car leaped backwards and smashed into the blue Porsche behind them, folding the front end of it.

He shifted again, this time the car leaped forward right into a Mini Cooper. Caesar, eyes shining in furious joy, turns the wheel and rolls over a custom green vintage Buick to their left. The car you were in had turned into a vicious beast in his hands. It smashed doors, windows, mirrors and headlamps until you were surrounded by destruction.

“Hey MC,” He laughed, “Check out the rearview mirror.”

He reaches up and turns it so you can see. Behind you, the boys all run out of the cafe, holding their heads and wailing in despair at the millions of dollars in damage Caesar had caused. He watches with clear delight as your face breaks into a sunny grin.

Suddenly, a burst of gunfire sends the boys scattering. The squeal of tires is heard and you see Chu Zihang and Lu Mingfei speed away in a Red Viper. Caesar clicks his tongue. “Why does he have to pick the same car…?” He laments.

The engine roars as Caesar commands the car to push the front end of the Mini Cooper ahead of you and shove it out of the way. But he’s still looking back at the young men who are scrambling to find undamaged cars and climb inside.

“There’s a lovely mountain road near here. With really nice curves. You don’t get sick do you?”

“You mean motion sickness? No, I’ve been on ships before. I don’t get dizzy.” You look behind you into shining headlights. The boys are prepared to give chase. It wouldn’t be much of a fun race if Caesar got too far ahead. He wanted them to see how much better a driver he was.

He let the headlights of the Maserati behind him get just close to kiss his bumper, then downshifted and floored it. MC squeaks and is pressed back against the seat. The headlights of the car, so close one moment, faded quickly behind you, like the other cars were standing still. The main highway up the mountains climbed steeply into a curve ahead but Caesar didn’t tap the brakes. The engine kept up the steady purr and took the turns perfectly smoothly.

It felt like flying, rising into the sky on a great beast. The trees passed you by in a blur and the guard rail looked like a shiny silver ribbon in the headlights. The feeling of delight tickles your chest and you giggle.

It was such an unfamiliar feeling, one you shouldn’t be having right now. Yet, now it was being teased out of you. It was as though the sun had peeked over the horizon in midwinter. Caesar had actually won. In the side mirror that remained from the demolition derby earlier, you see the lights of Chizuru burst back into bloom. The gangsters had returned to town and left you alone.

You’d never met anyone like Caesar. So you didn’t know it was possible to live like he did and still be able to survive. You doubted him at every turn and you were forced to reconsider again and again. This world that created predators like you could also create someone else. Someone who survived bloodlessly, cleanly. Something like this was mythical, like a unicorn.

Or a dragon.

A musical tone sounded in the car. It was coming from Caesar’s pocket. He pulled out his cellphone and held it to his ear. You don’t know what was said, but his expression suddenly changed from one of breezy confidence to blazing fury! He slams the brakes hard and the car spins in a complete one eighty to face the opposite direction.

“Did they say the name Makoto Aso?”

The hairs rise on the back of your neck.

Caesar takes a deep breath and lets it out but his hand is gripping the steering wheel so tightly that the leather cover squeals under the pressure.

You can’t help but think that she’s dead, that the gangsters had killed her.

“What did he say last?” Caesar asked.

A pause.

“Oh.. he won’t have long to wait to get his car back.” Caesar’s voice was low and his smile was threatening.

Was it nice to stand in the sun for a while? It sure felt nice. You say goodbye to it in your heart. You would never see it again. The world had made its true nature known. It was darkness and winter.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut our joyride a little short. They have Ms. Makoto.”

“Is she dead?”

“No. Hold tight.”

You let your breath out in a whoosh and, for a second, you think that maybe there would be another chance to end this bloodlessly. The thought pops into your head and then disappears like a comet, a last glimmer of hope before you change your mind. No, it's really over. These people were not going to let you go.

Caesar observed the light leave your eyes and picked up the phone again. “Mingfei, tell Zihang to take you a few blocks away from the Cafe. Use the back entrance he used before, if possible. Find her and rescue her, I’ll buy you time. Mingfei, be ready to provide us cover fire. Yes, I know you only have one gun left! That will be enough. You’re a good shooter, even by Cassell standards. You’ll outshoot those boys easily.”

He was still trying.. But the icy cold had gripped your heart again and you could no longer believe him. They’d been outgunned and now outsmarted. As you return to town, you see that the cars that had been pursuing you turned back, not out of respect for Caesar’s driving skills, but to create a barrier between you and the cafe. Sitting on the hoods of those cars were the workers at the Cafe, still in their cheongsams, shivering in the rain, serving as human shields.

Ms. Makoto was on the roof of the building that was set ablaze. It wasn’t a steel structure but made from old wood construction. So not even the driving rain could put it out. The wind ruffled her skirt as she stood on the edge of the building. The heat must have been terrible. If you don’t hurry, she would either burn to death or jump to her death.

You don't look at Caesar. You’re still, as if your whole body were completely frozen. He was not a magical unicorn or a mighty dragon. He’d just underestimated his opponent.

The man in the striped suit who had been caught stealing Makoto’s panties danced on top of a van in sheer glee at seeing you again, a shotgun in his hands. The gangsters cheered and chanted in victory. Rather than being the weak person you thought he was, he was the one who had ratted Makoto out. He’d hid in the locker you’d shoved him in, perfectly aware that she had helped you escape. He’d just pretended to be intimidated.

He was actually the leader of the whole group.

“Maybe I should have let you have that Beretta.” Caesar’s voice was cold.

You huff once through your nose as your only acknowledgement. It was too late to regret now. Part of you feels sad that you were right about needing to kill those gangsters. But you don’t request he give you a weapon. There was a principle in hunting that you don’t shoot until you’re very close to your quarry, close enough to see the pattern of light in the beast's eyes. That meant a lot of time, and a lot of patience. The goal was one shot, one kill. Instant. The deer or elk would drop without a struggle.

If you rushed in now and poured your violence onto them, Caesar would have reason to doubt you because you didn’t give him time to implement his plan. You feel bad for Ms. Makoto, but you’re going to sit on your hands.

After all, if Caesar could pull a miracle out of this, maybe he would truly be a magician.

But if things went wrong, and Caesar’s life was at risk, he could put forth no further arguments against your actions and you would be free from objections, not only now, but in the future as well.

So when he says, “Stay in the car.” you nod obediently.

Caesar has parked just out of range of their bullets. Even if they had more high powered weaponry, they were unskilled and would likely miss at this distance. Caesar takes his own gun and shoots through the windshield of the car. It shattered into a spiderweb of cracks and now you can’t see anything. He uses the butt of the gun to make a hole in the glass to see through. The rain pours in, running over the leather interior.

Caesar’s phone rang again. “Mingfei?” This time he put it on speaker.

“Yes, he’s on the phone with us again.”

“Translate. Don’t leave anything out. Understand?”

“Okay. Is… MC alright?”

“She’s more than fine. With me right now. What is he saying?”

The man was on the phone, seated cross legged on the roof of the van, smiling like an imp.

Mingfei translated: “He says he was grateful to the young master of the Gattuso family for bringing his car back.”

“Tell him I’ll bury him in a coffin full of ladies’ underwear.”

“Boss, don’t make threats in this situation, okay? They have Ms. Makoto!”

“I’m aware. Just translate.” Caesar was calm, focussed.

Mingfei sighed. “No need for you to worry about me, Gattuso-kun, I’m already prepared.”

The man in the striped suit produced a pair of silk panties from his pocket, pressed them to his nose and inhaled deeply. “Ah! Ms. Makoto really smells pleasant!”

Your eyelids stretch a little wider. His lack of fear was chilling you even deeper, like an icy wind over an already frozen sea. Without moving your head, your eyes shift to Caesar.

This man wants Caesar to come to him. He wanted to fight. There had to be a good reason for his bravado. However, Caesar was falling for it. You could see the veins pop into relief on his neck and forehead. And just like with everything Caesar decides, you know, deep down, there’s no point in talking him out of it. If he turned around now, Ms. Makoto would surely die.

Caesar’s eyes scanned the defensive line, moving over the huddled victims on the hoods of the cars. Now it was Caesar, not you, who gave off the killer’s aura, like a bull elk, stamping the ground and tossing his mighty antlers.

He lifted his shoulders in a deep sigh. You relax your hands that had begun to grip your skirt, a habit that hadn’t appeared in you since you were ten years old.

“Who’s giving you orders?”

“Orders? Does Akabe need orders? Hahaha! No one instructs Akabe except the Lord Takeda Shingen himself!” The man is practically falling over himself in glee.

“Whatever that man is offering, the Gattuso family offers three times as much!” Caesar said with measured calm. “I guarantee that you will get the money alive.”

“Hehehehehe! Luckily, that Lord has already told me what kind of family the Gattuso family is, otherwise, I would have really been tempted by that price!” The suited man, Akabe, suddenly stopped laughing, like a switch had been turned off. “I’ll get the money alive, but I’ll be shot in the head before I can spend a cent of it… right, Gattuso-kun…?”

Caesar had nothing to say, since he was right. The people who blackmailed money from the Gattusos never lived long enough to spend it. He finally gave in. “Then what do you want?”

“You have a gun in your hand, right? Use the gun to shoot yourself in the calf and wrist. We know that you, Gattuso-kun, are a Class A hybrid, and Chu kun is also a Class A hybrid, and we’re too scared to get close when heroes like you are able-bodied.” Akabe said smoothly. “We don’t want to kill you either, our mission is to bring you to that Lord, for disposal.”

His words fell on your ears and they stirred you inside. Right now, Chu Zihang was running around a burning building. Mingfei Lu was going to start a gunfight, one against dozens, and Caesar and Chu Zihang were the targets. They said nothing about you. It’s like you weren’t even here. They can’t see you through the broken glass so you unbuckle your seatbelt.

“Wait.” Caesar says.

The man in the suit scowls. “Wait for what?”

“Mingfei! Why did you translate that!” Caesar hissed.

“What? I wasn’t supposed to?” Mingfei squeaked.

You slip out of your cheongsam, not caring if Caesar saw or not. His morality no longer applied. Following it was obviously going to get them all killed. “Tell him you’re going to offer me as a payment for your lives. It will buy you more time.”

“How do you know you won’t shoot me in the head once I’m unable to fight back? Translate that Mingfei.”

“Because I’m a man of my word!” Akabe said.

“How can I trust the word of a man who sneaks into the women’s locker room and steals underwear?”

You’re putting the schoolgirl uniform back on, buttoning the white shirt. “Give me your knife…” you whisper. Much to your delight, he hands it over. The word ‘Dictator’ is etched into the side and you use it to slice off the hem of the skirt, leaving just enough fabric for decency.

“It’s just entertainment, who doesn’t have a hobby? I just like the fabrics that smell good after coming off a girl’s body. It’s the same reason you like cigars, Gattuso-kun!” The man shamelessly takes several deep whiffs of his newly pilfered underpants.

“Okay.” You said confidently, “Tell him that you’ll offer me as payment instead. It doesn’t matter if he accepts or not, we're just buying time for Chu Zihang, right?”

He hesitates, his eyes flicking towards you.

You lean on the center console. “I promise, I won’t do anything. I trust you to handle this.”

He nods slowly. “Then. How about I offer you a fresh cigar?” He says to Akabe.

You open the passenger side door and step out. Caesar made it clear that he wasn’t lying when he said you were beautiful and you felt that, if you could stake your odds on anything, it would be his sincerity. After all, Caesar had seen many beautiful women before you. He had a beautiful fiancee. You just had to make it work so that you were irresistible to this man.

While browsing the comic book store, you picked up a manga. In the first panels, a girl walked in a school uniform, holding her black bag in front of her. Her hands were clasped, her arms framing her oversized chest, the fabric wrinkling just so, to show the outline. In the next panel, a gentle breeze lifts the hem of her skirt, showing a peek of the hem of her panties. Lu Mingfei saw what you were looking at and snatched it away, screeching that it was inappropriate.

You had no doubt that this man read comics like that though.

So that’s why you cut the hem of the skirt and when you stepped out of the car, you held your hands in front of you, just like the girl in the manga. The rain soaked you in minutes and, though you still were far away, the fabric soaked up the water, and clung to your young body as you walked slowly.

Your black hair was loose, falling over your shoulders and sticking to your shiny face. All the boys in front of the Internet Cafe were in stunned disbelief. If that weren’t enough, the universe conspired with you and the wind came and lifted your hair and the hem of your skirt. The eyes of every boy followed that hem, entranced to see nothing but skin and then, a tiny, peek of black lace.

Chu Zihang only knew your size. He didn’t care about the style of women’s underwear. He just reached into the vending machine, grabbed what was nearest and tossed it to you, unaware that he was handing you sexy lace.

The man in the striped suit suddenly ran his sleeve over his mouth and chin to clear his drool.. You could no longer hear the translation, but from the look of his wide eyes and his breathless gasping in the phone, you figured you’d done a good enough job.

He screeched at the boys who snapped out of their trances and hurried to get behind you. He was roaring at them, even pointing his gun at them, making sure they knew that you were his personal prize. Once you reached the van, he reached up to you and helped you climb on top of the van to sit with him, all the way, screeching at the boys below you, who averted their eyes obediently.

He wrapped one arm around your waist and sneered at Gattuso some more before turning to lick your cheek and smell your neck. His eyes are wild as he talks on the phone, laughing, gleefully delighted. He was talking rapidly now. Though you couldn’t understand, it was clear he thought he’d won and won beyond his wildest dreams!

Then, he suddenly stops. His smile fades and he turns to you. He asks a single question and you hear the name, “Chu Zihang.”

Then a sudden explosion! Your eyes rise as the flames have exploded on the rooftop! Where was Chu Zihang? Did he die? Why did this weirdo say his name? Were you too late?”

The man grabs you and presses the shotgun to your back. He’s screaming at Caesar now, fiercely gleeful, but not in a way that was from a pleasant heart, but from the heart of a predator who had his prey.

The headlamps on the black Viper flash in the dark and the engine roars to life.. A blast of suppressive gunfire streams out from where Lu Mingfei is hidden, just as the car is accelerating straight towards you.

The gangsters and their hostages scatter and fall to the ground, but they’re too stunned to react. They don’t know whether to find the unseen gunman or fire on the car that’s nearly on them!

The man in the suit sits still, holding you close, gun to your back. His eyes are now on Caesar.

Caesar is crouched on the hood of the car, his long blond hair bristling on his face, a cold determination in his eyes. But those eyes were no longer blue.

They were a blazing, solid gold!

The boys are out of time to pick their target. Now Caesar pulls his own gun and fires on them from the hood of the raging car. Now they have to flee both the gunfire and the charging vehicle!

Caesar’s voice rings out like a church bell. “Makoto! Jump! I’ll catch you!”

The sight of his heroic pose, roar of the flames, the gunfire, and the screams -- They should have been traumatic. But now, they’re beautiful to you. If only Caesar had been at Black Swan Bay. How many people could he have saved? If you had fallen from the cliff in that case, he would have caught you, right?

An unnatural burst of wind surrounds the car and launches Caesar from it. His eyes are clear, straight ahead as he straightens his body like a rocket, easily clearing four stories. His hand is reaching out to Ms. Makoto. She jumps to meet him, completely trusting.

Lu Mingfei is keeping the boys below pinned. Nothing can stop him. He was going to do it.

A cold laughter sounds in your ear.

Among the hundreds of shotgun blasts, a shotgun very close to you flashed. Dozens of lead pellets formed a sheet to catch Caesar in their deadly net. Caesar reacted instantly, arcing his body to avoid the shot. The pellets shredded his shirt, barely missing his neck.

But he had made a fatal mistake. He flailed desperately, brushing the fingers of Ms. Makoto as she fell past him.

Makoto Asou slapped the ground heavily. The flooding on the street lifted up in a splash that was stained with the red of her blood. In the next moment, the out of control Black Viper smashed into her body. Caesar landed on the car as it and drove her into the front of the building. Her blood spattered on the windshield as it crashed through wall after wall, disappearing inside.

“NO!” Caesar’s desperate cry, a wail of fear and despair, made you close your eyes.

You knew that feeling so intimately, as if you and Caesar now inhabited the same brain. You lost Vera just like this -- right in front of you. Only, you didn’t have the ideals like Caesar. The world wasn’t really supposed to be a certain way, it’s just the way it was. Still, you can’t help but feel sad for Makoto and for the shiny star of hope that Caesar had been and never would be again.

What would he do now, now that he had lost the fight like you did back then? Would his eyes harbor the darkness of Christmas over Northern Siberia, the Winter Solstice, where there was no sunlight to appear for another month and a half?

You lift your eyes to the overcast sky. You could no longer see the stars of Chizuru either.

#tw: death #tw: blood #tw: perverted #tw: Dragon Raja #Dragon Raja #Caesar Gattuso

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cookiechi · 4 years ago

Text

I... wrote this a long time ago lmao. But I finally thought I should just share it on here.

I’m kinda insecure about my writing (especially the older stuff) which is why I’ve held off on posting this for so long. It’s also not really the kinkiest fic as it was one of my first attempts at writing it, but here be a 1,405 word saio/uma one-shot I guess-

_________________________________

“Uh… Are your clothes getting tight too?” Sitting on the edge of his bed, Shuichi called out as he attempted to button up his jeans, the two sides refusing to meet even when he held his breath and sucked in his stomach. “I think the washing machine is shrinking them...”

“Tooootally the washing machine.” Kokichi said, sitting on the bed and leaning against the frame with his arms crossed behind his head. “It shrunk my D.I.C.E. uniform too! The other day it refused to button up when I was supposed to go a meeting, it was the worst.”

“Yeah…” After a while of trying (and failing), he finally decided to give up, letting go of the fabric of his jeans and producing a heavy sigh. He just recently bought these, so there’s no way it’s anything else, right? Yeah, of course not, it shrank Kokichi’s clothes too. Unless… “So… your clothes don’t fit either? You promise that’s not a lie?”

He puffed up his cheeks and gave a pout. “Shuichi… would I lie to yooou? My own boyfriend? How could you think such a cruel, cruel thing!” A pause. “Do you want me to literally show you?”

Shuichi rubbed the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly. “Well, you would lie. You like to lie constantly, Kokichi.”

“Oh yeah, that’s true. But seriously, I was telling the truth about the clothes thing. Promise!”

“I see…” Shuichi eyes wandered over to the clock resting on his dresser. They had around forty-five minutes before they had to go, but… “Though, what am I supposed to do now…? These were the last jeans that fit.”

“Wear sweatpants.”

“…Sweatpants? In public?”

Kokichi smirked, turning his head to face Shuichi. “Weeeell~ it’s either that, or no pants.”

Shuichi shook his head. “Sweatpants it is then.” Getting up, lowering his jeans down his legs enough to be loose before kicking them off, he’d head over to his dresser. “Guess I’ll have to put clothes shopping on my to-do list.”

“And maybe we should even start looking for a new washing machine…” Kokichi ambiguously joked, hopping off the bed. He was smiling, but also looked as if he was somewhat lost in thought. With Shuichi turned the other way, however, he wasn’t able to notice it. “Anyway- I’m ready to go when you are, Shumai!”

Shuichi gave a quick “uh huh” as he put on a random pair of sweatpants. Unlike the jeans, they fortunately fit him, but they were a little too snug for his comfort. Sighing, he turned over to his boyfriend and gave him a look of uncertainty. “Kokichi-“

“No, Shuichi, you don’t look bad in sweatpants- if an adorable supreme leader like me could pull them off, his handsome boyfriend can too.”

Shuichi blushed a little from the compliment, but his dubious expression was still very much present. “Oh. That’s- That’s not what I was going to ask about...”

“Okay, I was just making sure. There’s no way I could let you doubt yourself! You’re too perfect!”

“Ah…” Laughing slightly and softly under his breath, unsure on how to express his reaction to the positive attention, he then cleared his throat before speaking back up. “So… um. What if it’s not the washing machine?”

Kokichi tilted his head innocently. “Hmmm?”

“What if the washing machine isn’t what’s causing our clothes to not fit anymore?”

“But what else could it possibly be?” Raising a finger to his chin, Kokichi was very obviously faking naivety.

Shuichi ran a hand though his hair, fingers then lightly scratching his head. How should he word this? Jeez, how would he even say it? “You know…“

“I mean, you are the detective here, Shumai. I thought you would know.”

It was obvious that Kokichi wasn’t going to bring it up, so Shuichi needed to figure out how to do so himself. “…Have we been eating different lately or anything?”

Yeah, looks like he couldn’t just get to the point. Kokichi probably caught on, but hopefully he’d actually address what Shuichi was hinting at.

“Nope! Not that I know of.” There was a beat of silence on his part. “Besides the fact that we stop by the bakery every now and then. And grab take-out when it gets too late to cook at home. And the fact that we recently started having ice-cream nights after you got that promotion you really wanted.”

Oh, that’s… that’s right. In all honesty, now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. He must have grown so accustomed to it, slowly adjusting it into his daily life… enough for him to not catch on to the contrast in his eating habits compared to before…

“Kokichi.”

He gave Shuichi a look of what could be described as interest. “Yes, my beloved?”

“Does. Does it bother you? That our clothes don’t fit, I mean.”

Kokichi’s face went blank for a second, and Shuichi knew that the other understood what he was really asking.

“No, not really.”

Shuichi let out a small breath.

“I mean- we could always buy new clothes, silly head.”

Shuichi let out another breath, with this time it containing slight frustration, but Kokichi quickly grasped his hand and intertwined it with his own. The warmth Shuichi felt gave him a swift sense of reassurance, and Kokichi didn’t even have to say it out loud, but he did anyway. “Just kidding.” His voice was lower than it usually was, with an edge of tenderness to its tone. “But it doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you, Shuichi. What matters is that you’re happy. And that’s the truth.”

Shuichi nodded, feeling another blush creep onto his cheeks. “I don’t know, I don’t think it bothers me. I just hope it doesn’t bother you.”

“Well.” A smile tugged at Kokichi’s lips, but his eyes were averted. “If I tell you this Shumai, you’re gonna think I’m soooo weeeeeird!”

Shuichi chuckled, replying in a teasing manner. “I already think you’re weird.”

Pouting, his cheeks puff up. “Ruuude. Were you ever taught manners?” He then shakes his head a little. “Seriously though. I mean, yeah- it doesn’t bother me, but I’m not indifferent to it. It’s only a little, but I… actually really like it.”

The other boy’s lips parted slightly, a look of curiosity apparent on his visage.

Kokichi then spoke up before his boyfriend got the chance. “I bet you’re thinking I’m suuuch a weirdo for liking my own fat. You know you can just say it out loud.”

Kokichi sounded like he was joking, but Shuichi felt the veil of insecurity underneath his boyfriend’s façade. “I mean, no. I haven’t really seen much of a difference because your clothes tend to baggy, but…” Was Shuichi’s face beet red? Because he was pretty sure that it was. “I bet you look adorable with… extra padding.”

Kokichi’s smile disappeared, leaving his face with no discernable emotion. “Hmmm, so you’re a weirdo too.”

“Wha, I-!“

“Nishishi, juuuust kidding! You’re so easy to fluster Shumai, you know that?” A second passes before he speaks back up, his voice a touch quieter. “Sounds like you like the idea of it too, though.”

“Ah… I guess that’s right.” For some reason, Shuichi’s eyes decided to randomly drift over to his clock as he spoke, them then widening in shock as he realized something. “K-Kokichi! We have to go right now, we only have ten minutes before the meet-up!”

Kokichi quickly lets go of his boyfriend’s hand, speedily grabbing two bags and handing one to the other male. “Whoops! Looks like we got carried away!”

“Y-yeah,” Shuichi says, picking up his phone and putting it in his pocket before turning the room’s lights off. “I-if you want to continue this conversation, we can- um, continue it later.”

The two were both heading out the door at this point, Shuichi then proceeding to close and lock it as Kokichi gave an answer. “Hmmm, we can talk about it again later. But I have a request.”

Shuichi turned his head towards the other. “Yeah?”

“You have to take me to that ice-cream parlor and buy me huge sundae! You know, the one that just opened up by the park!”

Shuichi gave him a smile in return. “Alright, we can do that on the way home. But you have to let me have some.”

“Awww, not faaaair!”

“Who’s playing for the sundae?”

“Okay, okay, jeez. I was just messing.”

#stuffed ronpa #stuffedronpa

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

Note

returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

#winston billions #nothingunrealistic #posting these things at 7am lol just had to give this a shot all at once really #there was never going to be a concise & comprehensive post here so just gotta go for it #certainly vs trying to think up that beautiful engaging collection of concrete hc's & thus never writing Anything lol #and anyways it's also like; this is a niche post for an even nicher audience so #quantnoisseur is about having fun and being yourself. for me #thanks again for returning the favor!! do love the opportunity here #again hope i don't like recall three dozen obvious things i should've included once i post this but

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softboyscully · 5 years ago

Text

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating.

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

#public school #percy jackson #percabeth #my childhood #you dont have to read this but i felt like posting it lol #if you've read this far #i applaud you #thanks for listening to my meaningless shit #im gonna be a comedian #school #school stories #adhd #kind of

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gretchensinister · 4 years ago

Note

I too am curious about 3, combined with 5? also 15 and this might be a nightmare question but, 22 for DoL

3: Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them?

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter.

Okay so. The WIPs. 1. The farthest along is the college students in a cabin being killed by a monster story, which I wrote for a Pitch Black Halloween event a couple years ago and now I am editing to publish as its own novel. I’m actually at the last scene! Unfortunately I also need to rewrite the last scene because the current last scene basically introduces two new characters and I think that damages the effect I’m going for with the story overall. It’s a story with a small cast and very few extras and closing on strangers adds distance between reader and story which I don’t want.

2. Then there’s my Phantom of the Opera fic, which yes it has been maybe a year since I worked on it, but I really want to finish it and put it into the world. I just thought it would be shorter, since I repeatedly said to @marypsue, “I’m not going to rewrite the Phantom of the Opera”…cut to card saying “Gretchen rewrites the Phantom of the Opera.”

3. There’s the fic I was working on for Dead Dove Day. I wanted to write some smut with a completely blank slate being introduced to sex by someone with tons of experience (which apparently now gets a frowny face put in one’s file) and also every character has dual genitalia (I’m still waiting for the paperwork to come back about whether I’m allowed to fantasize about that or not, and then of course there’s all the other forms to determine if I’m allowed to encourage other people to also fantasize about this). The smut is done unless I add another scene at the end but it developed a plot so I’m trying to resolve that.

4. There’s some simple! classic! blacksand! that won’t resolve for some reason and makes me feel like I lost the ability to write. I know this isn’t true but it’s like…I need to be writing this in class or something. I need to be getting away with it.

5. Last, there’s blackgeneral which I have put in a human AU and made even worse! But if you’ve never written something where you wonder at least a little bit if it would fail the Miller Test, have you even lived?

Now for some samples, in the order in which they were mentioned (lmao this got long):

1. “Did you see that, did you see that?”

“What was that?”

“Yeah, I saw it but—”

“It was tall, it was tall, it was a bear!”

“No, it was skinny! It couldn’t have been a bear!”

“And anyway, it was fucking gray!”

“Okay, okay,” Gabe said when things had quieted down a little. “Everything looks kind of gray in this light.��

“I’m not really concerned with its color!” Sugar said.

Kelly had stood up in all the commotion and now moved behind Gabe, resting her hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t liked the look of that thing in the woods, but now Gabe was pointing his flashlight down into the lake, and that was actually worse for her.

“Shine your light at it again,” Sandy said. “We’ll either frighten it away or get a better idea of what it is.”

They waited tensely as Gabe swept the trail again, revealing nothing.

“I don’t know if anyone else is thinking this,” Minnu said, “but I thought…I thought it kind of looked like a guy.”

“Yeah,” Gabe said, after a moment. “Yeah, it kind of did.”

“That kind of seems worse,” Sugar said.

“True,” Sandy said. “So, what should we do? I vote for going back to the cabin.”

“And I think we should go without our phone lights or flashlights,” said Sugar. “If that was a guy, he could have a gun.”

“The person that was found dead wasn’t killed by any gun,” Kelly said after a short pause.

“Well, this could be someone entirely different,” Sugar said. “It’s not like there’s a rule, only one thing that can kill you in the forest at a time. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite of that.”

“Guys, guys,” Sandy said. “I know this isn’t the most normal thing to say, but…are we really sure that that thing looked like a…well, a human guy?”

2. She screams. She screams her sorrow and her rage, and her rage is at the way of the world but also at herself; why had she been a coward? All she had done was seen, and she had still frozen in fear? All she had were her hands, but should she not have used them? She should have flown forward and strangled the man! But she had only frozen, frozen and silently watched, as if she was nothing more than the ornament she was supposed to be.

“You will hurt yourself, screaming like that,” a voice says, then.

No one else is in the chapel with her. She checked many times in succession before closing the door. The voice is that of no one. A ghost.

But the abruptness reminds her of Mme. Giry as she instructs the corps de ballet on form. You will hurt yourself, bending like that.

But since no one is here, she responds as if she is alone. “No one ever taught me how to properly scream.” As she says this, she can feel the rawness of her throat. It hardly matters, she has no solos approaching, and probably never will.

“Do you want to learn?” the voice asks. “I could teach you.”

“What would be the point? No one wants me to scream.”

“No one wants me to do anything,” the voice says. “But I know how to do many things.”

The shape of her mouth flickers towards a smile. The concept is oddly enticing: to build a skill that no one wants. And this voice, that is oddly enticing, too. It reminds her of the heavy velvet that she’d noticed in the costume shop one day, brushed to a shimmering dark red like a fire behind smoked glass. The soft weight of it had been a glory in her hands that sent a strange shiver all down her spine.

And just as she knows that velvet doesn’t grow on trees, she knows that this wonderful voice didn’t come naturally, either. A lot of work went into its creation, and right now, she is the only one being given that beauty. That’s enticing, too.

It seems she’s taken too long to respond, for the voice speaks again. “I could teach you how to sing as well as scream. I’ve heard you sing on your own before, away from the chorus. You could be the greatest soprano the opera has ever heard.”

“Singing is something they want,” she says. “And you say…the greatest. Do you think I could be sublime, as a soprano?”

“Sublime,” the voice muses, and the slow word makes her shiver again. “I have met few who truly desire to be sublime.”

“I do.”

This time it is the voice that takes a long time to respond. “I believe you,” it finally says, sounding curious, and a little sad. “Yet I do not fully understand you. Perhaps I will if I teach you. And I can. I have far more experience with sublimity than with beauty.”

“Your voice is beautiful,” she says tentatively, “at least it is as you speak to me. But I hear in it something that tells me you can easily transcend with it to the sublime. I only wish to say, from hearing you, I would guess you had experience with both.”

“You do not know what you say,” the voice replies, with control so careful she cannot be sure what it conceals, “but that is all very well. You will have a voice with sublimity waiting behind its beauty, this I swear. Sublimity will be yours to hold to heel or to unleash, and when you do—”

“Yes,” she interrupts. “What then?”

She can hear a smile in the voice now, at her eagerness. “At the very least,” the voice says, “you’ll be able to shatter glass.”

She smiles too, imagining. “Every globe in the chandelier, from the stage.” It is a reckless wish, and a thoughtless one—she does not really want to rain glass down upon the audience, or if they were not there, to make the cleaning-women sweep up thousands of razor-sharp shards. But if she could, oh, it’s an uncanny thing to do. Not a pretty thing.

“If you have the will, I will show you the way,” says the voice. “If you agree, will you tell me your name?”

“Yes, and yes,” she says. “And my name is Christine Daae. But what is yours?”

“I am the ghost,” he says.

3. The Pitch held Sandy close with one arm while their other hand flowed down Sandy’s body, slow and sweet like honey. They bent to kiss Sandy’s mouth as they fondled their full breasts. And it wasn’t—it wasn’t as if the Pitch spent a long time at the stiff points of Sandy’s nipples. They were too sensitive for that right now, the line between pleasure and pain too thin. But they did touch, and the touch of their inhumanly long fingers felt somehow both reverent and barely restrained. Sandy knew this could only be their projection onto such a new Pitch, but knowing didn’t make the feeling go away. It didn’t stop them from going half-mad with it, their cunt getting wetter and their cock getting harder, barely a breath away from begging the Pitch to pinch them, hard, to fall over the line of pain to see if there was pleasure on the other side.

But that was part of a different lesson, and not something every owner wanted their Pitch to learn. Sandy wasn’t quite sure it was what they wanted, either, except that it would be more sensation and more was what they wanted from the Pitch.

But of course the Pitch could give more, and of course they would give more. That was what they were for.

The Pitch caressed their belly luxuriantly, their speeding breath and some soft sounds muffled by their mouth on Sandy’s proclaiming their absolute delight in every curve of Sandy’s very ordinary body. And again it felt like real desire, as if the Pitch had forgotten that the point of their actions was to arouse Sandy. As if it was assured, as if there was a long understanding of mutuality between them, as if indulging themselves with Sandy was something they knew Sandy would enjoy.

As for the last, with Sandy, they were right. Every greedy touch of the Pitch’s hands was a gift, a drug.

A drug that opened the mind to some dangerous ideas. Pitches are made for pleasure. If I could choose a pleasure construct I’d choose a Pitch. I’d choose this Pitch. Precocious Pitch and I wonder, I wonder if in a different world where Pitches are what the born look like, if this Pitch would commission a Sandy if they could. It should have been unthinkable. But pleasure constructs were also made to make the unthinkable possible.

So obedient, and they come with their own built-in taboos for you to think about breaking!

4. Conversation is all right, Sandy said. If you can find someone to do it with. But there are things I like better. He looked up at Pitch. Things I think you might like better, too.

“Is that so? You know something good enough to make me be good?”

Sandy grinned, now, and Pitch—Pitch absolutely felt his heart beat faster, though it was getting harder now to say that this was out of panic or even simple fear.

I don’t know if it’s that powerful, but I’d be happy to give it a try, Sandy said. What do you think?

What did Pitch think? He felt like somehow he’d been herded through a great number of corridors in his mind and now he had reached a dead end. Or—not exactly a dead end. It was just that all the doors around him were ones he had locked tightly, and he had tried to forget that he still had the keys. It was the Sandy wing of his mind, and now the real Sandy was blocking him from leaving the corridor the way he came, and spinning a key ring around his little golden finger. If Sandy unlocked any of those doors, then he’d see…he’d see…

Maybe…Sandy would see something he…liked?

“Try me,” Pitch said, giving the words an unsuitable earnestness.

5. Porcelain skin and blue-black hair from their mother. Sharp angular faces, proud aquiline noses, and bones that promised height from their father. And yet their mother’s influence performed alchemy on these traits, somehow making them gracile, proving that on those infinitesimal spiral staircases of fate, she would always have the higher ground. Their lips might be thinner than hers, but they were still perfectly formed to bring to mind sensuality, even from this young age. They might be forbidden cosmetics, but the lashes she gave them were long and thick enough that no one who saw them would be able to stop themselves from wondering. And their eyes, of course, were hers, that exquisitely rare and exotic topaz had completely overshadowed their father’s pure northern blue. There was just enough of their father in their looks that they could be no one else’s sons, but the rest of their looks whispered this open secret: Though he was powerful enough to wed and bring to childbed the most beautiful woman within a thousand miles, claiming such beauty meant that he would never have a son quite in his image. That single, perfect, impregnable vessel of immortality for himself was nothing but a ghost. What he had, after having everything else, was this uncanny pair. Warped reflections of their mother, warped reflections of their father.

And perfect reflections of each other.

15: Which fic that you’ve written relates to you and your personal life the most?

A Draught of Light. I was working through a lot of stuff in that fic and while writing it, I’m not done working out everything I was working out in that fic, and bizarrely it seems to continue to become more relatable to me as years pass, even through situations I could not have possibly have foreseen. But also Speak Oil Into My Ear is very near and dear to me because of how much of Austin, TX I put into it, and that’s where I was living when I wrote it.

22: Have you used any symbolism in A Draught of Light? What does it represent?

You mentioned this might be a nightmare question and I guess it kind of is, because DoL is like…not subtle in any way. That’s just how it is. Any symbolism is baked into the magic system because it’s how magic works—if a light adept can figure out how to understand what they’re doing as related to illuminating/revealing/opening etc., then they can do it with light. If a shadow adept can understand a working as related to concealing/vanishing/hiding etc., then they can do it with shadow. Fire is change, water is healing/restoration. The ending doesn’t go full allegory but like. For those who are familiar it’s very obvious why I would think of this story more around Easter than around the autumn equinox, when it’s actually set.

But! Story time! When this story started, it was partially due to three factors: a kinkmeme prompt that I wasn’t sure if my idea actually addressed, a round pool at the apartment complex I lived in at the time, and a dream I had where I was standing in this underground circular stone chamber, and I clapped my hands and water began flowing from them, and (here’s the symbolism) in the dream I knew that the water represented forgiveness. (Though that’s not really what it means in DoL.

#tejoxys

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rheawritessometimes · 4 years ago

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Ooh matchups!! I am here lol 👀

May I get a romantic matchup w one of the adult male characters?

Personality:

I come off as very friendly and sociable bc I'm too socially awkward to gracefully turn down a chat lmao. Don't get me wrong I do like talking with people but bc I'm too anxious to interrupt people when I have my own thoughts I often end up listening to the other person go on and on and it feels like they're just talking at me :/ I would very much appreciate someone who realizes this and actually pauses to ask for my opinion to make me feel included in the conversation

On the other hand, if the other person is willing to listen, I will ramble for hours about my own interests (and also go on like five tangents before I inevitably lose my original point lmao). I'm a biologist so point out any living thing to me and I'd probably have several fun facts ready to share

I almost always have a smile on my face when I'm out in public or anywhere I'd see another person. I just really don't want to come across as rude so I smile at everybody lol

This unfortunately has the side effect of making me hide my negative feelings from my friends. It's not that I'm actively trying to — if they caught me in the moment I'd at least be honest about my feelings — but I tend to push all the negativity to the back of my mind whenever I'm out with friends and only really address it when I'm alone at night. I also have a hard time showing any sort of weakness to anyone, despite my philosophy of "always talk to your friends about your problems." It's just that I'm supposed to be the one who has it together, so I feel like I have no one to go to when I need help. I'm trying to change this habit but it's been difficult lol

Likes/Dislikes:

Communication is so important to me. As someone who's very nonconfrontational I try to do all I can to avoid an argument. And honestly, being honest with each other will solve like 99% of the misunderstandings that people regularly have anyway

I love pretty much all creatures (tho my favorites are cats and also dragons even though they're not real) prob bc as a biologist, I have an appreciation for all living things and the roles they play in the world. I'm the type of person to trap the spider and bring it outside. These little critters are just trying to live like the rest of us!!

As for dislikes, I'm not a fan of jealousy in a partner. I guess some people find it hot when your s/o gets possessive of you but I'd rather just trust my partner and have them trust me? And when you do feel jealous like,, talk to your partner about what's making you uncomfortable?? Idk maybe it's just me lol

Hobbies:

I love drawing, writing, and piano!

I also love learning new things. Idk if it's really a hobby but I do enjoy adding to my collection of random trivia

Extras:

My love language is quality time and physical touch

I tend not to pay attention to my day to day life so I end up forgetting a lot of details about what happened the past few days. If someone brings it up I'd be like oh yeah that happened!! But if they were to ask me what I did last week I'd draw a blank lmao

I'm pretty sure all the tall boys in Genshin are a good head taller than me so do w that what you will lol

I absolutely make kissy faces and baby talk at cats and dogs

I tend to be pretty awkward with kids bc I don't know how to communicate with them. I can't even talk to adults who can articulate their thoughts you think I'm gonna understand children??

Dskgjsjd okay this was,, very long I'm sorry ;; but I hope it gave you a lot to work with haha!! Thank you in advance :D

I match you with...

Diluc!

Diluc is the type to regularly ask for your input and opinions when talking with you. He’s very aware of the fact that if it’s just him talking, it’s not a conversation. Even with other people, if he feels like you’ve been ignored he’ll divert the conversation to you as smoothly as possible.

Listening to you is a way to get to know you better, he’s keen to store details about your interests in his mind. Will he write them down in a hidden journal to make sure he doesn’t forget the most important parts? Maybe.

If you’re just looking to ramble about your interests to someone, he’s happy to listen to you talk while he’s doing paperwork and similar activities. His full attention may not be on you but he retains some of the details and will perk up and comment on anything that he finds particularly interesting.

The juxtaposition between smiling you and broody Diluc as you walk down the street together is *chef’s kiss*. It’s not that he’s necessarily unhappy, it’s just kind of become his neutral look over time.

I’m gonna be honest, it takes this man a while to figure out that you tend to hide your feelings. But! Once he does figure it out he regularly asks you how you feel. He just wants to check up on you and if he can help you with something that’s bothering you, he absolutely will. He doesn’t think you should rely on each other, but you should absolutely support each other.

Diluc is a very honest man, but sometimes he can be a bit blunt in expressing himself. He doesn’t mean to come across as rude or anything, but he’s not always the most delicate when using his words. Diluc would say “This is bland.” rather than, “I think we can improve this by adding some spices. :)” He usually means well, though.

Entirely indifferent to animals but if it makes you happy he will move spiders outside instead of squashing them. Even when you’re not around.

Diluc isn’t exactly the jealous type when it comes to other people giving you attention but he does absolutely take notice and is paying extra close attention if someone starts flirting with you. He gets a little more annoyed if you’re actively interacting with him when it happens, but when you’re more on your own he can’t really blame anyone for taking interest in you. Diluc won’t do anything about it and will let you handle it yourself however you see fit unless the person starts getting pushy. Mostly just concerned for your comfort and safety.

This man absolutely knows how to play the piano. If you’ll let him, he wants to listen to you play and if you play the piano with him? Makes his heart so happy, his smile will be so soft. Absolutely thinks about proposing when you play together.

Something about being in the same room as you when you’re writing or drawing and he’s reading or doing work feels so right to him. Even if you’re not interacting, peacefully spending time together while being productive is time well spent, he thinks.

You being smaller than him isn’t something he really pays much attention to. It doesn’t make much of a difference. His thoughts on it are pretty much just, Well, it does make it easier to pull you out of danger. That’s good.

Diluc feels conflicted when you’re babying animals. On one hand, he finds it very adorable. But, it is one of the only times he feels moderately jealous over the fact a cat is getting your attention and not him. He doesn’t get jealous when you spend time with other people or even when you interact with animals in any way other than this. Why does he feel like this? Nobody knows. But it’s true, I feel it in my bones.

Equally awkward if not more so with children. Luckily for him, he’s ‘weird and grumpy’ so kids don’t really seek him out much. It might even keep kids away from you when you’re with him, unless they really like you.

It wasn’t often Diluc wore a pink shirt, actually, you were pretty sure he had never worn one. You don’t recall ever seeing one on him and it was hard to imagine him going out and making the purchase. The sight was unusual enough that when you saw him wearing the pale pink button-up while looking over a few papers in his study, you couldn’t help but ask about it.

“I didn’t know you owned any pink shirts. Is it new?”

Crimson eyes flicked up from the papers in his hand to you. He placed the papers down, leaning back in his chair. You could see his cheeks turning a bit pink, too. The pause he took and his flushed face made you think he was embarrassed about it.

“One of… There was a mixup and one of your red items got mixed in with my white clothes. I don’t have any other clean button-ups at the moment,” he told you bashfully. The bit of color was different from his usual black attire, but you didn’t think it was anything for him to be quite so embarrassed about.

“It looks good,” you assured him, “Maybe you should wear pink more often.”

#.rhea mail #genshin impact #genshin #gi #genshin impact diluc #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin matchups #matchups #there was so much to work with #i love it #the blurb is unrelated to anything #but i couldn't think of anything else #sorry

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antiyourwokehomophobia2 · 4 years ago

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You said we can ask you questions so here goes( hope they arent invasive)

-at what age did u realise u were lesbian?was it easy/hard to accept?

-how was your coming out like? How did your family and friends react?

-were you ever/are you religious?do u believe one can balance between being homosexual and religious?

- were you always masc or is it something that came with accepting your sexuality?

-do you call yourself a stud?

- how hard/easy has it been being an out and proud black lesbian?

- thoughts on the stigma against stud4stud/butch4butch lesbians

-were you ever a TRA/libfem? If yes, what made you peak?

-ive had ppl talk about how masc lesbians being touch-me-nots is problematic/toxic and how its more about upholding a "status" than it is about preference. What do you make of that?

Not invasive at all! I'm happy to answer and thank you for asking :).

- I realized I was a lesbian at age 12 when I developed a HUGE crush on my gorgeous English teacher. I also got a small crush on a girl in one of my classes. I didn't grow up around much homophobia so it wasn't hard for me to accept that I was gay but what was hard was the absolute intensity of my feelings towards my teacher. I used to pray to god to have my feelings for her taken away because they were just so intense and I didn't know how to handle them (she was my teacher so I clearly wasn't going to ask her out. There was literally no outlet for what I was feeling so I kept it bottled.). My parents never brought up gay people in any positive or negative way and the kids I grew up around didn't really either. So me being gay wasn't something I beat myself up over. Once I accepted that I wasn't an overly invested straight ally, the road to acceptance was a peace of cake tbh.

-My coming out was... Well. I first started coming out to my friends when I was 13 and they were accepting of it. It honestly wasn't that interesting to tell you the truth 😅. All the peers that I gave a shit about never gave me shit for being gay. I never lost a friend for being gay. Coming out to my parents took me until I was 16 and the reason for that is because I genuinely didn't know how they'd react. Like I said, they never said anything about gay people point blank period. However, I was kind of forced to come out one particular night because my heart had been fucking shattered by a girl I was strongly crushing on at the time. I was pacing up and down my house, my best friend wasn't answering me, I could hear my dad's TV playing, it was late, I was tired, I couldn't sleep, I had school tomorrow, I was freaking out, I was devastated... I wanted to be comforted so I went to my father, threw my head into his arm and started telling him how my heart felt broken. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I said "nope" there was some silence and he was like "it's okay, I've known for a long time". I never actually said the words "gay" or "lesbian" during my coming out but I guess I didn't need to. The next morning, my father asked if it was okay if he could go tell my mom and I said yes. Long story short, my mom was even less surprised than my dad and she's the more progressive of the two so it wasn't really an issue (though she did tell me to keep an open mind in terms of liking men 😅 she seems to think I'm bisexual which is whatever because she never bothers me about it).

-Hmm. I don't like to completely cut out religion from my life. My father was extremely religious and now that he's gone, I feel it's disrespectful for me to say God doesn't exist. Like, "dad, you spent practically your whole life believing wholeheartedly in God but guess what! It was a waste and the thing you dedicated your life is something I think is a fairytale!" that doesn't sit right with me at all. I've been baptized and I used to go to church when I was younger. I think that there's no reason to shake my head at the possibility of a God. In terms of being gay and believing in God, I once watched a video by a devout Christian gay man who went through all the homophobic stuff Christians love to quote from the bible and gave the actual meaning behind them. I, personally, do not think that God is homophobic. I think that God's love is not something we have the capacity to understand. So, I, personally, think Christian gay people are perfectly fine and are already balanced. Here's to hoping that they stay away from homophobic churches!

-No, I wasn't always masc. As a child I was a huge girly girl. Like, legit, I wasn't a tomboy in the slightest lmao. I'm not sure when I started being masc. But what I do know is that I've grown far more masc over the years. I used to not want to dress too manly (no tuxedo's and no clothes from the men's section and no boxers) but nowadays I love all of those things and that's genuinely what I want in my wardrobe so I have no problem going into the men's section for my clothes.

-No, I don't call myself a stud. Love those guys though. The label I feel that's most accurate for me is masc.

-Um, I'm not sure how to answer this since I don't have experience being any other kind of lesbian. I guess it's just kind of tiring. I'm black, female, and homosexual. That's a LOT of different topics to give my attention to. The hardest part of being a black lesbian is knowing who to give my camaraderie to. Do I give it to black women? Black women AND black men? Lesbians? Only black lesbians? The lgb community as a whole? It's just a lot to think about. I will say, though, I think that it's a lot harder to be a masc black lesbian than a white one. Black women are already perceived as manly just based off of our skin color. So for me to willingly present masc can often be... A non-pretty picture in the eyes of society and I'm hyper-aware of that which is why I often have trouble going all out with the wardrobe I truly desire. That's my biggest challenge navigating the world as the black lesbian that I am. On a more positive note though, it's great being a black lesbian because I can have an opinion on everything and nobody can tell me I'm being racist/homophobic/sexist or stepping outside of my lane 😂. I'm on a three-lane road motherfucker and I'm not afraid to use all of them.

-my thoughts are that you should leave people alone. I will say though, I once read something that was like "if you call yourself a femme but the idea of being with a butch disgusts you, you're not a femme, you're just a feminine lesbian" and that rang true to me so it feels hypothetical (and nonsensical) if the reverse wasn't true as well. If a butch/stud shits on femmes and assumes they can't be as feminine as they are and ACTUALLY gay then I do have a problem. Butches and femmes have a history that's damn near inseparable from each other so for a butch to shit on femmes... I'd argue that they're probably not butch but instead just masculine lesbians. However, I don't care if two butches or studs want to date lmao. All the power to them, I hope they're happy.

-I definitely used to support trans rights more than I do now. I would correct people who misgendered others. I thought trans women were women. I was in support of bathroom laws. I never made posts about it, but I very much did believe it. Magdalen berns made me peak. I started realizing that gender makes no sense. I did some research and came to the conclusions I hold today. Even when I want to go back to my ignorance, I can't because I've seen too much by now.

-I honestly don't know. I think that some masc lesbians don't want to be put in that "feminine" position of being touched by their partner. It could stem from upholding a status but at the end of the day, sexual boundaries are sexual boundaries. What are you gonna do? Force your touch on to them? Yikes. Leave them be. If you're upset about your partner not wanting to be touched by you then get a new one. Clearly you're not sexually happy so leave. I don't think it's necessarily toxic unless they think there's something inherently demeaning in being touched by their partner or they do want to be touched but won't allow themselves due to trauma or feeling like there's a certain persona they must uplift. Other than that though, I don't see the issue.

Thanks for the questions, buddy ❤️

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greywindys · 5 years ago

Text

I had a fic I was working on for 2Doc week, but it betrayed me and turned angsty when I wanted something softer. So instead, I thought I could share a fic I never published, and I believe the first fic I ever wrote (dated in Google as complete on June 17th, 2016. Holy moly!)

It fits into day 3′s prompt of firsts - the first night the spent together on good terms. The beginning of the bond, I guess. It could also be considered the first head massage (lmao), as I like to think 2D is good with his hands in various scenarios 😉. (I adapted the head massage into scenes in later fics, but this was the first time I worked with it as a concept.)

If there are any “M” or “D” I apologize! When I was starting out, I was too self-conscious to write their entire names (lmao @ me). Oh, how things have changed. Hopefully, I corrected them all, along with most of the typos...

The rating here is T. Essentially, Murdoc encounters 2D late at night when he can’t sleep, and ends up watching a movie with him. They begin to form a tentative bond, head massages are had as much needed sleep. Takes place during P1.

Also happy bday again, Murdoc 😭

For Murdoc, sleeping is a daunting game of chance. First, there are the good nights, when he drinks enough to remain in a complete stupor until daylight. Then, there are the bad nights when his body’s need for genuine slumber catches up with him. On these nights, he dreams. More often than not, they come to him in the form of nightmares ranging from painfully specific to vague and unsettling. Like a flood, all of the emotions and thoughts he had intended to leave behind in Stoke return.

Tonight is one of those nights.

This one, in particular, is the reason he’s left the grimy safety of his Winne, head still aching. He intends to rummage through the studio mini-fridge for the half-consumed bottle of rum he started that morning. (after all, his anxiety wasn’t going to fix itself). Instead, he's thrilled to discover the fridge has been restocked, and he's about to grab an unopened bottle of rum when he's interrupted by a crash coming from the direction of the lobby.

The noise is coming towards the kitchen now in slow, shuffling steps. Murdoc presumes it could either be one of the wayward demons he summoned the other day, or it could be another one of the building's many intruders looking for a blank wall to vandalize. Nothing he wants to deal with now in his anxious state. Murdoc considers making a run for his Winnebago but decides against it. ‘You’re Murdoc Niccals” he thinks to himself, ‘Bass god and creative genius. You're not ten anymore and you don't get scared.' With that, he braces himself and he turns to face the unknown figure that was now in the doorway.

“Oh...Hi, Murdoc.”

It’s 2D.

“I've got half a mind to lob you through another car window,” he says trying to mask his surprise. “What the hell are you doing walking around with the lights off in the middle of the night?” That must have been the source of the noise. Typical. It’s as if 2D is intentionally searching for a way to get injured.

2D scratches his head. “No need to get so steamed up about it. I, uh, well, I guess I was trying to keep to the ambiance and all that. I didn’t think anyone else would be awake right now.”

“I don’t know what’s so unexpected. I get more done in a night that you would in a year,” Murdoc replies. He takes a sip of one of the bottles of rum he’s assembled on the counter. “So long as there are still songs to write, the siestas can wait.”

“Not sleeping well then?” 2D asks blithely. Murdoc can’t tell if the singer has seen right through him or failed to comprehend a word of what he just said. He finds him very unreadable at times, and in the most infuriating way.

“No. I was working. Being productive. You ought to try it once in a while,” Murdoc grumbles in response. “Anyways. What’s all this about the ‘ambiance’?” As if 2D is that deep. “And why here?”

“That new zombie movie, you know the one I was telling you about? Well, it arrived today,” 2D says with a grin. “And now I’m watching it. It’s a lot scarier when you do it the dark.”

“Well you have a TV, no, THREE TVs in your room,” Murdoc retorts, exasperated. “Just go away and watch it there.”

“Yeah, uh, l thought about that, but the special effects in this one are supposed to be wicked good and the screen in the lobby has a clearer picture than the screens in my room. I would have watched it this afternoon, but Russel said Noodle shouldn’t be watching all the blood and guts, so I waited until now. It’s better watching scary movies late at night anyway, you know?” 2D is looking at Murdoc now, a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. “A couple blokes on this forum I was reading were describing it like a Romero meets Raimi type film, really over the top.”

“Sounds like a real Oscar winner you have there,” the sarcasm in Murdoc’s voice is palpable.

“Actually, it was a straight to video release, but you should check it out,” 2D says. “I’m only about ten minutes in now...if you have...time,” he trails off awkwardly.

The band had faced many inexplicable and absurd situations, but it is 2D’s consistent attempts to be friends that confounded Murdoc the most. His first inclination to tell the singer to fuck off. Yet the thought of the solitary journey back through the car park gives him pause. He isn't sure he can handle being alone right now. He needs an immediate distraction, a mood lifter, and making fun of 2D has the potential to be a two in one solution. At the very least, it was a safer gamble than going back and running the risk of falling asleep again.

Murdoc makes 2D wait for an answer in uncomfortable silence before replying. “Fine,” he says, “This better be entertaining.”

2D brightens at his response. “Just let me grab some snacks and then we can go back.”

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, and this time turn on the damn lights.”

With some newly acquired light and a bag of crackers in hand, 2D leads Murdoc to the lobby. A collection of pillows and blankets litter the floor. All the while, and to Murdoc’s annoyance, he takes the time to tell him every detail of the conception of his setup. He had been in the lobby for the past four hours watching movies. According to 2D, doing so in such an open area was much scarier than in his room or even in the building’s cinema. He was also sorry because they would have to turn the lights off again when the film starts. “Because well, you know, Muds. The ambiance.”

“Just start the bloody movie will you,” Murdoc replies from his spot on the floor. The size of Kong is intimidating at night, and it’s not helping him calm down. He hates how much his dreams still affect him. Physically, he had left all the bad energy behind ages ago, but mentally it follows him like a low-hanging mist, threatening to completely engulf him daily. He couldn't seem to make it go away, but he could control how much he thought about it. Alcohol was typically his mainstay but right now, that job belonged to an unwitting 2D. If he didn’t start the movie soon, Murdoc was going to set his entire movie collection on fire.

“It’s the little triangle that does the trick, right?” 2D asks as he studies the remote. “Never mind. I think I have it. There we go.”

The scene starts with a group of young adults in their twenties hiking through the woods as night falls. Occasionally, the camera switches angles. It shows the group from alternate perspectives such as the bushes or the tops of trees.

“The director wanted to flip the whole slow zombie portrayal on its head,” 2D explains. “There’s already been talk of fast zombies in the indie horror community, but he wants to take that one step further. In an interview, he said that not only were his zombies going to be fast, but they were also going to fly.”

“That’s stupid. And you thought this was worth the twenty or so quid you blew on it?”

“He’s ahead of his time. You’ll see. Look,” 2D says through a mouthful of crackers. He points to the current scene. One of the protagonists had wandered away from his group in search of a good place to set up camp. “See what he does with the camera there? We’re watching the main character from the perspective of a flying zombie. The director wanted to make a movie about an outbreak that emerges in the wilderness, not because of some virus. It's meant to add to the impossibility of the situation. How do we fight against something not man-made? Watching the film through the eyes of the monster emphasizes how alone and insignificant we are in the face of well, everything. Man versus nature, nature versus man.”

Murdoc grabs the bag of crackers from 2D. “Oh please. This is hardly cutting edge. We all know they’ll all be dead in the end because nature is bigger than man. Duh.” He takes a handful for himself and continues watching.

2D ignores him and continues his reflection. “It makes me wonder whether it would be better to be a zombie at the end, rather than survive. Not sure I would want the loneliness that comes with it.”

Murdoc is beginning to realize that 2D is in one of his chatty, philosophical moods. He attempts to tune out the singer’s blathering with another drink from the bottle of rum he brought with him from the kitchen. He came here to watch a ridiculous movie. Instead, he's stuck listening to banal musings about the true nature of humanity from someone with a half-functioning brain.

“Well if there’s ever a zombie apocalypse here, I’ll be sure to let them eat you first if you’re so eager. You’re already halfway there anyway, and certainly no better off than these divs on screen.”

“Thanks, Muds. If I ever get infected, I’ll make sure not to bite you...unless you want me too,” 2D replies.

This time, it’s Murdoc's turn to ignore him. “Anyways, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who’s too pathetic to fight against a zombie apocalypse deserves whatever is coming to them.” He gets a twisted sense of comfort from blaming.

“I dunno...I don’t see any shame in being afraid of a monster bigger than you. That’s what makes these movies so scary. We all have our own monsters that seem impossible to overcome,” 2D says sagely. “It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just how it is.”

Murdoc scowls. “Does watching movies at this hour always turn you into a half-braindead Socrates? Or Plato? Hippocrates? He's just naming names now. He fidgets.

On-screen, another character screams as one of the zombies bites her arm.

“Are you alright there, Muds?” Why did 2D have to pick up on everything? “Movie too scary for ya?”

“No!” Murdoc snaps. “It’s not that… It’s just...” Neither 2D nor the rum he grabbed from the fridge earlier had done anything to dull his current bout of nerves. Instead, all the tension has been gathering at the base of his neck. The throbbing in his head from before is even worse. He groans in frustration.

“You just seem a little on edge, that’s all.”

“...It’s my head.”

“Oh, you have a headache,” 2D says, seemingly pleased that it’s an issue well within the breadth of his expertise. “Do you need any help with it? I was talking with my mum about mine just last week; she gave me something good.”

Murdoc perks up. He could count on one hand the number of scenarios where he would place his trust in 2D. Pain medicine was one of them. A strong painkiller could change everything. “Do you happen to any of those buggers with you now?”

“Sure,” 2D says, smiling as he moves closer to where Murdoc is sitting.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m um, well for this to work I’m actually going to have to touch your head.”

Immediately, Murdoc jerks away. “You what?!”

2D shrinks back in response. “It’s just a head massage, Muds. My mum’s worried about the number of prescriptions I have so we cut one of the stronger ones out and replaced it with this. We wanted to see if it made a difference. I’ve been going to a massage therapist for the past two weeks or so. It doesn’t quite do the trick but it works well enough, I picked up some technique myself, uh, I think.”

“You can take all that geeky zen rubbish and sod off,” Murdoc mutters.

“Okay, Muds...alright.”

They continue watching the screen as victim after victim gets infected. 2D continues to interject with overlong descriptions about symbolism, zombie lore, and film technique. Murdoc weighs his options. If he’s being honest, he’s at a point where he would accept anything that might make him feel better. But why did it have to be 2D? On the other hand, the singer wouldn’t stop talking. Considering it was just the two of them, and no one else would ever have to find out, Murdoc makes his decision. Allowing 2D to touch his head in this scenario was justified. Interrupting yet another explanation about the folly of man, he asks, “Hey uh...2D? You know that massage you were talking about? Will giving me one make you shut up for more than ten minutes?”

“Oh..uh,” 2D sounds surprised. “Yeah. Yeah, we can give it a try.” Hesitantly, he moves behind Murdoc and begins.

2D’s fingers send tiny sparks along Murdoc’s scalp as he kneads the muscles in his forehead, moving downwards along his hairline. He dwells on how amazing it feels but pushes that thought to the side with haste. He keeps his eyes locked on the screen and the excessive depictions of gore and chaos. It’s an apt representation of turmoil he is currently feeling inside. What he finds so maddening about 2D, even more than his inscrutability and empty-headedness, was his willingness to be kind to Murdoc. Murdoc had spent the past twenty or so years convincing himself that kindness was not meant to be a part of his life. There was something inherent to his existence that repelled it from him. And he had come to accept that until 2D had to come along and mess it all up. It had to be because he was just too stupid, there was no other answer. Murdoc wasn’t sure he would be able to handle any other answer.

As 2D moves his hands to the back of Murdoc’s head, he begins softly humming. He begins following along to the soundtrack of the movie but soon trails off on his own. Evidently, watching the movie without any sort of verbalization was not going to happen. However, the melody he’s come up with is wistful and soothing. Murdoc makes a mental note to ask him about it in the morning to see if it would fit with some lyrics he had drafting. Slowly, and a bit self-consciously, Murdoc feels himself begin to relax.

“How does it feel so far? Is it working?” 2D asks.

Oh, it was working. More than that, Murdoc realizes a significant amount of his tension had abated. The darkness of the lobby no longer looks so menacing, the unpleasant memories that were hovering over him seem to have floated away. He's never been able to settle himself down from a bad night without copious amounts of alcohol. It’s an unfamiliar but pleasant sensation.

“I think the movie is almost over. Didn’t quite live up to the hype but it was still pretty entertaining after all. How about you?” 2D asks, still looking for a response.

Murdoc yawns. “I’ll give this director you were so excited about some credit. He knows his way around a good death scene. I don’t think I’ve ever seen fake blood used that way before.”

“The fake blood actually cause a lot of controversies because some of it was real animal blood. I almost didn’t buy it myself.”

“Ah. A man after my own heart.” 2D’s hands are still kneading the back of his head when Murdoc moves to lie down on his stomach.

“Oh, are you going to sleep now?” 2D asks.

“No. Keep going.” He would have never considered it earlier in the night but, as the singer's fingers continue to run through his hair, Murdoc muses that sleep may not sound so bad after all. Even though it was just 2D, it’s comforting to have him there.

“So I guess it’s been helping then? My mum will glad to hear,” 2D says. “But you might want to run a comb through your hair a bit more often, it’s all greasy...also a bit tangled in the back.”

“Just...shut up.”

So he does, returning to the reflective melody he had been humming just minutes ago. It’s the singer’s soft croon that sticks in Murdoc's mind as he finally drifts off completely.

-------

When his eyes open, the first thing Murdoc notices is the half-empty bottle of rum he had left by his side. The next thing he notices is that he's still in the lobby, surrounded by blankets. He must have slept there the entire night.

“Oh, morning, Muds,” comes a familiar voice just to the right of him. “You’re awake.”

Turning quickly in the direction of the voice, Murdoc finds himself face to face with 2D. “What the hell are you still doing here?” M demands, mortified, “Why didn’t you go back to your own room?”

“Well, I was going to do that, but once you laid down, I wanted to lay down too, and you rolled over on my arm and wouldn’t budge. I tried to tell you, but all you did was try and elbow me. You missed though,” 2D mumbles. It sounds like he’s still half asleep. “Then I guess I just nodded off.”

Murdoc feels his embarrassment beginning to morph into anger but decides to ignore it. He's pretty comfortable right where he is. “You’re lucky you’re my lead singer.” 2D was also lucky that he gave good head massages. “Because otherwise, you would be on some really thin ice right now.”

“We’ll be lucky to see any ice at all this winter what with all the warm weather.”

Usually, an obtuse response from 2D would have earned him a string of insults or a swat on the head. Today was not going to be one of those days. Murdoc turns again so that he’s facing away from the singer, pulling the blanket over his head to block out the light. He was going to savor the moment a bit longer. Despite 2D being 2D, it’s rare that he’s ever felt so at peace.

“Hey, Murdoc? Wait,” 2D says, “You never gave me my arm back.”

“Too bad. I’ll check back in a couple hours,” Murdoc grins beneath the blanket. He still couldn’t pass up a chance to inconvenience the singer at every opportunity. It was too much fun.

“Don’t be such a wanker,” 2D says as he attempts to jerk his arm out from underneath the bassist. “I was nice to you!”

He was right. And he was probably nicer than he deserved, given their history. For that reason, Murdoc would roll off his arm soon enough. He still wanted to talk to him about that song he had been humming.

The singer had surprised him last night. Murdoc knew that 2D had an uncanny ability to figure out how to annoy him to maximum effect, but he never would have expected him to also know what to do to put him at ease. Underneath the covers, he ponders what exactly this realization means to him. He isn’t sure, but he knows it means something. It wasn’t going to eliminate the underlying resentment he still clung to, nor was it going to solve his infinite list of issues. But at the very least, he could rest assured knowing that he wasn’t completely alone.

#ficpost #2doc week 2020 #it's interesting to reflect on what's changed #anyhow! just a little thing to close out the week

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giyuwu-san · 5 years ago

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Bakudeku modern day where Midoriya works in a flower shop. One day Bakugo goes in to buy some flowers because one of his friends asked them to but falls in love with Midoriya the second he see him. The bakusquad become the ultimate wingman (wingmen? Lol) to make Midoriya and Bakugo be together (or at least ask Midoriya out on a date owo)

look who decided to send one in again LMAO. I’m going to totally pretend that you didn’t just ask me who my bnha otp were on messenger before sending me this. but anywayz, I hope you enjoy owo. this lowkey turned into a crack fic

who’s it for?

pairing : florist!midoriya izuku x bakugou katsuki

warnings : swearing (it’s bakugou i mean come on) crackheadedness (mostly from sero) fluff

summary : (modern-day!au) is it love at first sight? bakugou katsuki could only stare at midoriya izuku, who he thinks looks lovely today.

word count : 1.2K

✎

This is so stupid. Was what Bakugou Katsuki thought to himself as he made his way to the flower shop. Finally facing the front door, he stood for a moment, looked up, and sighed.

So fucking stupid.

The soft sounds of a bell took his functions as he opened the door. And with his head held down, he wandered inside the small shop.

What flowers did he want again?

He thought once more as yet another long sigh left his lips, and the blonde made his way over to the section with the most flowers.

"Gardenias.“ he said quietly, finally remembering the name of the flower. “So lame.” he clicked his tongue, and after a minute of purposeful steps, he finally found the flowers his friend Sero, had graciously asked him to buy. The reason for the said purchase, Bakugou did not know. Nor did he intend to care. The only reason why he was in this situation in the first place was that he was the only person available. Nevermind the fact if he was willing or not.

Head still tilted down. He made his way over to the cashier and placed the pile of flowers on top for them to wrap.

Except, he completely forgot what kind of wrapping his friend wanted.

"Just put whatever.“ he said to the slightly flustered florist, whom of which he has yet to look at.

The florist, who still seemed a bit flustered, could only chuckle.

"They’re very beautiful gardenias.“

At that Bakugou finally looked up. What met him was a boy with green hair and freckled skin and, from the looks of it, seemed his age. Shifting his head to the side, he answered with a curt grunt.

"Gardenias are one of my favorites ya’ know?” the male florist continued, trying his best to hold up a conversation. If only the recipient would have been a bit more welcoming. But he continued nonetheless, “they symbolize purity and sweetness. They convey secret love.” the florist smiled. “They give off lots of joy, like telling the other person: ‘Hey! You look lovely today!’” when he gets no response, he chuckles once again and starts wrapping the flowers.

Bakugou listened carefully to the boy’s spiel and glanced precautiously at the nameplate on his chest.

Midoriya Izuku

"So, who’s it for?“ his thoughts get cut off by the boy named Midoriya’s voice. And he faced towards him once more, acting as if he was paying attention. He could not, however, act like the faint tint on his cheeks wasn’t there.

"Just put whatever.” was his response.

Midoriya smiled, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"I’ll just leave it blank then.“

- - - *ﾟ‘ﾟ ☽ ☼ ☾ *.:｡ - - -

"BAKUGOU YOU IDIOT!” Sero screams at the blonde from across the room.

"WHAT’D YOU SAY?!“ Bakugou screams back, leaving Kirishima, Kaminari, and Ashido in the sidelines spectating the drama.

"I ASKED FOR PURPLE WRAPPING NOT GOLD!“

"GOLD IS SO MUCH BETTER YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME FOR CORRECTING YOUR SHITTY TASTE YOU ROLLER-TAPE BASTARD!”

"God, are they married or somthin’?“ Kaminari says to Kirishima, who only shrugs and continues watching the spectacle in front of him. Meanwhile, Ashido’s beside him with tears in her eyes. Not from worry, but from sheer laughter. “Why does Sero need the flowers anyway?” Kaminari continues.

"Met someone at work he really digs.“ Kirishima said with another shrug and added; “Apparently.”

"IT’S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE-AT-FIRST-SIGHT YOU FUCKING PRUDE!“ Sero yelled back at the man who’s next words shocked him.

"YES I FUCKING DO, I JUST HAD IT THIS MORNING AFTER BUYING THOSE FUCKING FLOWERS—”

Oh.

My.

God.

Bakugou, being the prude he was. Was stunned into silence, a sight that, in return, stunned everyone else into a frenzy.

I did not just say that.

"He just said that.“ Kaminari said, and Kirishima could only nod in astoundment. And with Ashido breaking into full-blown sobs, the whole argument that had just happened, ceased to exist. There were more pressing matters to attend to.

The Bakugou Katsuki liked someone.

"Ashido, are you oka— oh my God she fainted.” Kirishima could only narrowly catch her from falling to the floor.

Sero, however, with his eyes sparkling, gripped the bouquet in his hand tightly with a newfound determination.

- - - *ﾟ‘ﾟ ☽ ☼ ☾ *.:｡ - - -

"Alright, here’s the plan.“ Sero pointed his finger in the air. “I already found the schedules of each of the employees, and this Midoriya Izuku is off work tomorrow!” Sero celebrated, while Bakugou was still staring blankly at him.

"Wait, hold on— how did you get their schedu—” Bakugou prompted, only to be shushed by Sero.

"This is the power of a matchmaker, do not question.“ Sero added, pulling a pose Bakugou could have sworn he saw in an anime he’s watched. Sero continues, “And do not interrupt the master!”

"Master?—”

"I SAID DO NOT QUESTION!“

Sero pulls yet another pose— wait, is he floating?!

"Now, before I was ever so rudely interrupted,” Sero said. “Midoriya-san is off work tomorrow, which gives you the perfect opportunity to buy him flowers without him knowing!” Sero seemed very enthusiastic about this.

"Wha—” Bakugou started, only to be cut off, yet again. Honestly, what was he expecting?

"—at an amazing plan Sero! I know, I know, I’m a genius.“ Sero literally pats himself on the back for that. As Bakugou finally sighs and admits defeat.

"Wow, this might actually work,” Kirishima says, looking over to his friend Bakugou and shoots him an encouraging smile. “You should give it a shot.”

"That’s unless he screws it up.“ Kaminari added, to which Bakugou yelled at and told him to ’SHUT UP YOU CIRCUIT BOARD PIECE OF SHIT.‘ Which Kaminari responded with a retort about ’THAT’S NOT HOW MY QUIRK WORKS.’

Kirishima watched on and for the third time that day, shrugged, while Ashido couldn’t do anything, for she was still unconscious.

- - - *ﾟ‘ﾟ ☽ ☼ ☾ *.:｡ - - -

"I am going to kill those bastards.”

"H-Huh?“ Midoriya stared at the man in front of him from his place behind the counter. As he meticulously wrapped the gardenias into a beautiful bouquet. Meanwhile, the said man got absorbed into his thoughts.

I thought he was off work today?

What the fuck?

"U-Uh, nothing.” Bakugou said, internally face-palming at how lame he sounded.

He had already planned how they were each going to die inside his head. Sero being first. He was so immersed in his plans of mass murder, that he almost missed the green-haired man in front of him ask him a question.

"Who’s it for?“

Fuck.

Bakugou wanted to run, in fact, he almost did, but after looking into his eyes, no matter how cliche it sounded, he knew what he had to do.

Man the fuck up.

He took a deep breath. Here goes.

"Midoriya Izuku.”

At that, the green-haired boy dropped his pen and scrambled to pick it back up again.

"O-Oh!“ the flustered boy said, followed by a chuckle that sounded more like an awkward laugh. “Uhm, h-how about a little message, like a: ‘Hey! You look lovely today!’” he laughed once more.

"Uh, yeah, and uhm.“ Bakugou started, as Midoriya listened attentively to what he was going to say next.

"Go on a date with me.”

✐

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the-kings-of-games · 4 years ago

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i’m not popular enough to get tons of asks, but I pushing off zine work and secret santa so fanfic writer asks! (YGO only)

1. What’s your favorite character(s) to write for?

Answered here

2. What character(s) do you find the most difficult to write for? Why?

Characters that don’t get much of a reaction from me from the beginning or at any point, and characters I have never considered writing before (like Bruno). Never feel like I’d write them so I never put thought in their character and stories.

3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?

Yeah, from Two Fingers Crossed Over Your Lips, Chapter 8: Domestics (Orinthoptershipping). It’s when Crow is laying on top of Bruno on the couch, and they share a kiss. Crow is flirty, and Bruno is cute. I think this is the best example of my portrayal of Crow, lol.

4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

No, for the most part, I end up using pretty much everything I write out. I’m the kind of person to go back and cut out entire scenes because I tend to write out scenes I like/want to do and find ways to connect them together. It can be kind of counterproductive because some scenes might actually pull you away from the plot you wanted, but I never never plot before I write, lol.

It doesn’t mean, however, that that I have never ended up writing something bigger than I expected. Currently, it’s The Supreme King’s Husband (Prologue) because I just wanted to add in Yūsei and Kizuna, omgs. QWQ

5. Do you listen to music when writing?

Yes, I do. It both keeps me focused and distracted at the same time.

6. If you listen to music when writing, what [do] you listening to when writing [Fanfic Name]?

A lot of Joji, Jack Strauder, Oliver Tree, CUCO, and the like. Pretty much this mix.

7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of?

I really love my headcanon of Crow being masculine leaning genderfluid afab (assigned female at birth). It’s really fun exploring this headcanon, and I always write Crow with this in mind. However, it’s only 5D’s Crow, not Arc-V Crow. They are both Crow but, in a lot of ways, are essentially two different characters, and I’m very attached to the former. Crow didn’t start doing he/him stuff until he was, like, nine, and Yūsei and Jack have been super supportive about it since the beginning. Crow was she one day, and he the next day. Still Crow. ^^ This is from one of my many Crow WIPs:

"It doesn’t matter how I look or what I call myself, I’d always be their friend, and they’d always be my brothers. The bond we share is irreplaceable, and I’m thankful to have met them in the first place. They’ve always supported me, and they know it’s my right to tell people about me, when and how. If I wanted it to be different, they’d be the first one to know. As it is right now, though, I’m happy with the way I am."

Crow has two feminine outfits he wears occasionally: a yellow dress with red flats (a gift from his girls), and a yellow blouse with a green plaid skirt and black knee highs. To go with these looks, he wears his hair down with his headband around his neck and shiny lip loss Trudge bought for him.

8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories?

One-shots by a long shot, lmao. That being said, I sometimes don’t finish one-shots either.

9. If you had to assign a theme song to [Fanfic Name], which would you assign?

I don’t think in music. I do that thing where you pick a song and write a fic with it but not the other way around.

10. What is the line you’re proudest of from [Fanfic Name]?

One of my favorites, from the aforementioned Chapter 8: Domestics (Ornitoptershipping):

Closing his eyes, Bruno was taken back to the beach, the one he woke up at with no memories, but this time, he didn't feel the confusion, nor the faint touch of grief at the bottom of his heart. Instead, he only felt the quiet crash of the waves on his skin, the sun shining brightly over his head. This was now a memory he remembered twice.

(I really like this one-shot a lot, lol.)

11. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

A lot of dialogue, stream of conscious narrative. I think. I never really thought about it.

12. Who is your favorite author?

I don’t really have one at the moment. I don’t read a lot, lol.

13. When did you start writing fanfic?

I got more serious about it in high school, but I think I started during middle school? KHR was a thing then, lol.

14. How do you feel about your older work?

Answered here

15. What is the fanfic you’ve written that you’re most proud of?

From YGO, probably The Distance of Time which features Orinthoptershipping. It’s very dialogue heavy, but it was a lot of fun. I’m very thankful of the people who took the time to read it, and even more those who commented and gave feedback.

16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for?

I don’t do gore, violence, or torture. I don’t dislike them, I just don’t write them (so I don’t have any practice either).

17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for?

I love ones that explore the idea of soulmates. I’m a big fan of the soulmates AU, but I love the different ways that people just complete each other that borders on more realism than trope. I mostly write fluff though, and attempts at humor because I think I’m funny.

18. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished?

I edit as a I write, which is bad because I don’t edit afterwards and miss typos (lol) and sometimes makes writing take longer to finish.

19. What words do you think you tend to use the most?

Epithets probably; otherwise, I don’t know.

20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?

I love comments that think my pacing is good and my character interpretations are great. If someone tells me that they can imagine this happening in canon, I’m over the moon.

21. Is there an idea you’ve always wanted to write, but haven’t yet?

Yes, and they’re all WIPs.

22. Do you enjoy making OCs for your fanfics, or prefer sticking to canon characters?

I mostly stick to canon characters and don’t like doing OCs (unless they’re extras or side characters). Writing OCs makes me a little uncomfortable actually because I fear veering into self-inserts which I cannot write because that’s even worse than doing OCs. The only OCs I like do are OC babies of my favorite ships.

For YGO, I currently have two: Sky Hogan, the daughter of Crow (Papa), Jack (Father), and Yūsei (Dad); and Mira Princeton, the daughter of Chazz (Mama) and Jaden (Dad).

23. How much do you stick to canon?

I try to write characters based off of canon as much as possible. If I don’t see a character doing something, then I don’t write them doing that thing. I’m more about filling in blank spaces than trying to rewrite inked ones.

24. Do you prefer AUs with the characters, or sticking to the original universe?

I do original universe most of the time.

25. What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?

Smut scenes because they are pretty much one continuous scene, lololol. There’s no scene changes for the most part, so keeping up momentum is a must and a difficulty.

26. Are titles for your stories easy to come up with?

I suck at making titles. I can have whole fics done but back petal so hard because I forgot to give it title.

27. What time of day do you prefer to write?

Past bedtime.

28. Is there a part of [Fanfic Name] you’re surprised no one has picked up on yet?

I’m not sure what this is asking, lol.

29. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

Writing it. I don’t brainstorm or outline, I just write what comes to mind. I brainstorm only if I need to connect things together. Finishing it is a close second.

30. Do you write down all your ideas? What makes you decide to write one versus the other?

I never write down my ideas; it’s either I start on a WIP or I don’t. What I decide to write depends on my mood.

31. What was the development process of [Fanfic Name] like?

I write for three hours and produce only a thousand words, smh. Agony.

32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most?

Fluff with subtle angst, I guess.

33. Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why?

Yes, because I already have so many WIPs, I shouldn’t start on another one. (Does this stop me? No.)

34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it?

I might have, but I have terrible memory. U_U

35. Where’s your favorite place to write?

In my bed in the dark, on my phone. (Computers tire me out after a while.)

36. What fanfic of yours has the symbolism you’re proudest of?

I’m not sure what symbolism is.

37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

Yes, but it will be a really big learning experience because I’m using to have most, if not all, control over my writing. I try to be open, but getting used to new things is hard, you know?

38. What story of yours are you surprised that people liked as much as they did?

Honestly, for YGO, any of them. The feedback for YGO isn’t a lot, lol, or it’s because I write characters/ships/tropes a lot of people don’t go for? I’m just glad I now know the people who like my stuff. I know my writing is good, but I won’t force people to read it.

39. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Characterization, if I’m not being too big-headed, lol.

40. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I need to stop feeling the urge to rush ending and give the settings more details.

#yugioh #Kizunashipping #ornithoptershipping #i have three zines and one secret santa on my to-do list #lmao #im lazy but like to talk about myself #i do indeed have a big head #Flame muses

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

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