#unless google is lying

[marstyler42]

Today I learned the desk chair with wheels has been around for like 150 years which is wild

[gaymelie]

Once again saw someone yell on here about how "nobody is going to report this aaah the media is evil", closed this app and not even a minute later saw a report with that exact content on a major news platform. Ngl this phrasing is rapidly being added to the list of things i won't reblog on principle.

[reelaround-deactivated05312024]

stop booping me english people really pronounce ephebe as epheeb. im gonna kill myself.

[crossbackpoke-check]

56 and any Yamo pairing! 🫶

i just wheezed so hard when i saw what the song was i almost snorted coffee out of my nose i am so sorry for this one

#56 - kyoto phoebe bridgers + yamo

the story of how this song ended up on my wrapped is too long so it’s going in the tags but. let me set the scene for you.

2026 NHL GLOBAL SERIES™️ JAPAN - Presented by YPPI

November 13 & 14, 2026: Dallas Stars, Montreal Canadiens, Seattle Kraken, Vancouver Canucks

Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan

It’s a pitiful excuse of a consolation prize for not being able to go to the Olympics, but Kailer’s not going to look a vacation horse in the mouth. The arena’s cool. It’s huge. The people are cool. There’s so many more of them than he thought there’d be with jerseys that have his name on the back, and a lot more that have the familiar orange and blue. He takes a picture of the fifth Oilers Yamamoto jersey he signs—this one’s the good Reverse Retro—and texts it to Connor, says,

no one here has even heard of mcjesus

and gets a moon face emoji in response. Leon’s influence. Kailer’s still never really deciphered what that one means, and he doesn’t think Connor knows either.

They don’t have a lot of time off between games, but Kailer’s trying to be a good tourist. His dad had been so happy when Kailer had told him about the series that Kailer’d had to stop him from trying to book a flight a year in advance, and his mom’s been just as bad, sending him every article she sees about Best New Spot in Tokyo! Cool Restaurant! Have You Seen This Japanese Cat Café? that she scrolls across on Facebook since June. Suzy’s in the same boat, so they’ve been crossing off their compiled travel-guide list together, looping in as many guys as they can. Everyone’s been pretty game. All the teams are crammed into close quarters at the same hotel, which means everyone wants to spend as much time as possible outside of it, and it helps that Kailer’s gotten pretty close with all the other guys that the NHL picked up as Global Series figureheads. Robo’s memes? Absolutely fire. The groupchat loves them.

For every item he crosses off the list, Kailer takes a picture and keeps it tucked in his phone notes. It’s like speed-running a scavenger hunt—they’re only here for four days—but he’s doing a pretty good job. His favorite so far has been all the gardens. They’re stunning, trees shining bright red and yellow, and every vendor has been selling maple candies, maple cakes, and even fried maple, though the official maple festival doesn’t start until next week. The second garden he visits, he does it on his own after practice, buying two cakes from a cart near the gate and walking until he loses the bustle outside. It’s easy to get lost in the winding pathways, heading deeper into the quiet, and there’s dozens of benches underneath the burnished leaves where young couples are tucked away on dates, or old friends are laughing and catching up. In some of the little clearings, there’s small shrines where people leave offerings, a prayer for good luck or good fortune.

Kailer stops at one without any people and sets the second maple cake on top of it, then sits and scrolls through all the texts that he’s missed. His mom gets replied to with a picture of him outside the garden gate, grinning and surrounded by other travelers. He sends his brother a picture of a trashy graphic I Love Japan t-shirt with the threat that he’ll buy one for him, and Kailer’s dad gets a picture of the meticulously arranged and cut bonsai that are across from the bench where he’s sitting. The Seattle groupchat gets a recycled meme from Robo, and he gets two thumbs up and an “LMAO” before he can even exit the thread. Finally, Kailer takes a picture of the half-eaten maple cake in his hand, holding it next to a fallen maple leaf on the bench, and gets halfway through typing another message before he thinks better of it.

(On the plane over, Drieds was reading them a story about how when they first introduced the high-speed railway, people were afraid to use it because they thought it would be too fast for their souls to keep up.

“Bro, if that were true, you just left your soul in the middle of the Pacific,” Ebs had laughed. “Planes are faster than trains.”

“Are they?” Matty asked. “Isn’t the train in Japan the fastest in the world?”

Drieds couldn’t make it through the rest of the story over the sound of everyone ripping Matty to shreds, so Kailer didn’t get to ask whether or not they found out anything about planes. Kailer’s not worried about his soul, but the logic makes a strange kind of sense; after all, he traveled 429 miles in five and a half hours once, and that was a little too fast for his heart to keep up.)

Fuck it. Kailer’s been trying to write a response for the past ten days, and he’s sick of swiping in and out of the message, staring at the keyboard so long he starts to see swirls in his vision.

Kailer drafts the text again and sends it, no context, no caption. A text travels faster than a high-speed train or a jet. Maybe it’ll pick his heart back up on the way.

[your-fave-is-being-blended]

Heyyy can you perhaps blend bruno pizza tower. Please 😇

already done :)

[dredshirtroberts]

oh *now* she wants me to see a doctor about my joints doing things joints don't normally do.

bit late ma.

[weebsh-t]

Hmmm, I ended on s3 and never even watched the movie. I wonder if I'll have time to catch up before s5.

[thef1diary]

Want You | M. Verstappen

Summary: It should feel so wrong to want him, especially when you're in a happy relationship, but you can't stop your thoughts from controlling your actions.

Warnings: 18+, reader is cheating on her current bf, smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), filthy words, angst (not with Max), google translated Dutch.

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: max x fem!reader

This time, he was the one who reached out. But it's become a habit, so it didn't really matter who actually texted the other first. Though, it was nice to know that he was also thinking about you.

Your boyfriend was out of town, so this was a lot easier. Easier to convince yourself that what you were doing isn't bad. But, deep down, you know it is.

You didn't have to sneak out or make excuses that you were seeing a friend. Taking your time getting dressed, you smiled at your reflection in the mirror. At least, he could recognize your beauty and praise you for it. You absolutely loved how he praised you while fucking you into oblivion.

You decided to wear a navy blue lingerie, showing off your body that Max clearly loved. Since you cannot wear that outside, you'd have to cover it up with a coat and boots.

If you were asked a few months ago, you would say that you're happy in your current relationship. But, even though you haven't admitted it yet, you know that you're not. There's no other reason why you keep ending up in his arms over and over again.

Forgetting about your boyfriend for tonight, you made your way to the location you knew way too well. To your ex's house—Max's house.

Parking right in front of his house, you sent him a text that you reached. Then, you briefly glanced at the other messages you had to pass some time. That's when you noticed the text from your boyfriend. He simply told you about his stressful day filled with meetings, then asked about yours.

It seemed like a normal conversation between a couple but it wasn't. He never asked about your day or your plans, unless it concerned him. You two fell out of love as fast as you fell in love.

His text caused you to spiral into the pit of guilt. You shouldn't be here, sleeping with another man while your boyfriend was working away. That's another thing you started disliking about him, the amount of workload he started taking on. It was like he wanted to be away from you, and maybe that was a good thing because of the arguments you two keep having.

Ignoring the text messages, you put your phone away. Taking another look in the mirror, you applied another coat of lipstick that you knew he loved, then got out of the car with a slight smirk on your face. It was not your fault that you were here, it was your boyfriend's fault that he couldn't keep you happy.

You noticed how the porch light turned on and he walked out, probably concerned why it took you a while to come inside. After all, you didn't have to text him, you could walk right in his house like you owned it. Because, once you did and he never wanted to take that away. The time and circumstances did.

He stood by the door, watching you with darkened eyes as you walked towards him. He wrapped one arm around your waist while the other hand caressed your cheek before placing his lips on yours.

Max's house was in a slightly secluded area and it was getting dark too, so you weren't worried about someone seeing you. You let yourself get lost in his touch, melting against his lips.

"Hi" you whispered when you parted away from him. He might've been smirking before, but now he was genuinely smiling. His hands caressed your body, pulling you as close as possible. "It didn't take a lot of convincing this time." He stated while placing light kisses down your neck.

Usually whenever he calls you over, it takes you a while to agree because you'd have to be careful of your current lover. Lying was something you were never good at, but practice makes perfect.

"Didn't want to be alone tonight." You muttered while holding back a moan. It had been one week since you were in his arms, and that entire week was spent in agony because you didn't sleep with your boyfriend either. More like he didn't want to.

Max faced you again, a devilish smile on his face, "alone?" He asked even though he knew the answer. "He's working, out of town" you simply replied before moving Max out of the way and walking inside. After all, it was getting cold and you didn't like the mention of your boyfriend while you were with Max.

He followed you inside, removing your coat for you and seeing what you had on underneath. "Fucking hell, is that all for me?" He groaned when he saw the blue lingerie you specifically wore for him. "Who else?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Damn right, no one else." He couldn't keep eye contact with you because his gaze was admiring your beauty, and soon he would show you just how much.

You bent down to remove your boots but Max stopped you. He kneeled down, placing your heeled boot on his thigh before slowly unzipping it. He did the same for the other foot, but his hands started roaming around, trailing up your leg.

He placed light kisses trailing up your leg before standing to his full height and capturing your lips with his. Your hair was tied up in a ponytail, but while Max kissed you, his hand wandered up in your hair and removed the hair tie.

"I've had so long to think about what I want to do to you." He muttered in your ear when you parted. "An entire week, always on my mind."

"Should I apologize for that?" You teased, earning a glare in return. "I was thinking of you while racing, so yes, apologize for distracting me."

"I don't think it was that big of an issue, after all, you won." You reminded him of his latest victory. He shrugged, "but you weren't there."

You rolled your eyes at his words. He has told you how much he wants you to be by his side in the paddock, but you can't. Not anymore. "We're not dating, Max"

"I think it's time to make you forget about that, liefje." He simply said before he picked you up and took you to his bedroom.

Placing you on the bed, he spread your legs before sliding up between them to kiss you. God he loved kissing you. Your hand trailed down to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up. He parted away from you to remove his top completely, then began placing wet kisses down your neck.

You arched your back, bringing yourself closer to him as he easily found the sweet spot behind your ear that made you moan sweetly. Even if you weren't together anymore, Max remembered every sweet spot of your body, and he was using that knowledge to his advantage tonight.

His goal was to make you forget about your boyfriend. And so far, it was working.

"As much as I love this, it has to go" he commented while looking at your lingerie. You sat up a bit so you could unclasp your bra, but before you could reach you hand around, his had already found the clasp.

"Laat mij voor je zorgen, schat." [let me take care of you] You didn't know what he said, but you absolutely loved it when he spoke in his mother tongue. You tried learning Dutch, but it was definitely a harder language to learn, plus Max wasn't the best teacher because he'd distract you often.

You let him remove your bra, throwing it somewhere in the room. Then, he licked his lips before leaning closer to you and pressing a light kiss on your chest. His tongue peeking out to tease your nipple, making it hard by blowing cool air on it.

"Max" you moaned his name, itching for him to touch you properly. "You want me?" He asked like he didn't know the answer. "Yes!" You exclaimed, making him chuckle. "I'm all yours."

He moved further down your body, trailing kisses across your stomach before reaching the waistband of your panties. He didn't remove it yet, no, he was going to tease you as much as he could. Sliding his thumb to rest on your clothed clit, he put a little pressure and started rubbing slowly. "Barely even touched you and so wet already."

You groaned, just wanting him to do something, anything. "Max, please" you begged and that sound was like music to his ears. "I know, I told you, I'll take care of you. Just be a little patient."

Removing his thumb, he moved your panties to the side, finally seeing your glistening pussy waiting for his touch. He licked his thumb before placing it directly on your clit. Sliding it down, he separated your folds and spread your wetness all around. His face was so close that you could feel his hot breath.

He moved his thumb once again but before you could complain, he spread your folds apart with two fingers before placing his tongue on you, licking deeply. "Fuck" you gasped. His movements were licking and kissing your sweet pussy, getting you prepared for his cock. He muttered your name, "you taste so sweet"

You arched you back again when you felt Max slowing down, but his arm was resting on your stomach; the weight holding you in place. Then, you felt his tongue delve deeper in your hole, just enough to make you squirm but far from bringing you over the edge. He did that a few times before using his thumb to circle your clit again. Your mind was hazy due to the constant pleasure, and you didn't even notice when he moved his arm away from your stomach and entered two fingers in the hole he was teasing with his tongue earlier.

Bending his fingers just the right way caused you to let out a loud moan because you did not expect him to take it up a notch. Replacing his thumb with his tongue on your clit, he enveloped it in between his lips. "Max, make me cum. Make me cum on your fucking tongue." You more so instructed than pleaded but he happily obliged.

Increasing the intensity, he flicked your clit with his tongue over and over again while pumping his fingers faster, adding a third one as well. Since he wasn't holding you down anymore, your back arched as he brought you closer to the brink of an orgasm. One of your hands fisted the bedsheet underneath you while the other made its way into Max's hair.

His hair was the perfect length to pull on, using that as an advantage to bring him even closer to your sweet pussy. You tried looking at him but once the pleasure became too much to bear, your eyes rolled back in pleasure as you were sent over the edge.

Max slowed down but he was still lapping up your cum, moaning at the taste. Your hand left his hair and he pressed one more kiss on your clit before looking up at you. That was a beautiful sight. His hair messed up, his lips a darker shade, and your cum glistening around his mouth. And you didn't miss the way his eyes were still dark but shining now.

"What are you waiting for, come up here" Your voice was a little rough because you spent the last few minutes before your orgasm moaning nonstop. Max stood up, hands unbuttoning his jeans while he made direct eye contact with you. Then his gaze travelled lower, looking at you all spread out for him. When you realized that, you blushed feverishly and moved to close your legs.

"Don't. I wanna see all of you" He instructed and you had no choice but to listen. He slid in between your legs then kissed you again, letting you taste your own cum as his tongue was granted access to your mouth.

His own pleasure wasn't something he was after, instead, he loved trailing kisses down your body. Letting him express his love for you. But that was a conversation for another day.

Your small bubble of joy popped when you heard the familiar sound of your ringtone. You had an idea of who could possibly be calling you right now, and you didn't like it. max saw your expression turn sour after hearing your phone ring, knowing exactly who it was. "What do you say, let me pick it up and end it once and for all?"

You turned your head to face him, "no, let me handle it." You moved off the bed despite Max's pleads otherwise. You already had a missed call from him, and you knew how much he hated it when he could call and you wouldn't pick up.

"Where are you?" was how you were greeted. "oh I'm doing great thanks, and you?" your tone was laced with sarcasm but he didn't like it one bit. "cut the bullshit, where are you?"

"Where else would I be, I'm at ho-" you began telling your lie but he cut you off, "are you really at home? because I'm standing in our bedroom right now so you are clearly not at home."

"shit" you mouthed and Max saw your expression and raised his eyebrow in question because he couldn't hear the other side of the conversation. Your attention was brought back to the phone call once you heard your boyfriend call your name, "it is almost midnight, where the fuck are you?"

"Why are you home?" you countered, avoiding the answer to his question because you needed time to think of a lie. He was the type of boyfriend to call your friends and ask if you were with them, so you couldn't even lie about that. Plus, they didn't know about your relationship with your ex. Max knew exactly what was going on when you said those words. Then, you put the phone on speaker so he could hear your boyfriend's next words.

"I thought that I would surprise you, but you are not even here to greet me. Can't even do anything good for you nowadays." his words angered you but you knew how to keep calm in these moments, Max on the other hand did not.

"Maybe if you cared about her and loved her more, then she wouldn't be with me right now." Max spoke out loud, surprising both you and your boyfriend. "Is that Max fucking Verstappen? You better not be fucking him."

"Well I was about to but you called, so if you're done then hang the fuck up." You don't know what overcame you to say that but you did know that you were tired of it all. "You're cheating on me?" he asked incredulously. "This is not how I wanted to tell you this, but I'm not in love with you anymore. We're done."

"No, this is the right time because I found someone else, but I didn't go around your back to fuck someone else while we were still in a relationship." He insulted you but it didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. "Well then I wish you well. I'll come by to pick up my stuff later." then you hung up before he could get another word in.

There was a moment of silence before you looked at Max. "Does that mean you can stay the night?" he asked, making you forget about all your worries for now. "Yes, I'm staying" you replied which made a smile grow on his face. "Good, because I still plan on fucking you until the only word you can say is my name."

[multifandomgirl08]

Nikita's First Christmas [Mini Verstappen Series]

Dad!Max Verstappen x Mother!Reader (Established Relationship)

Summary: Nico's first Christmas with his baby brother

Warning(s): Google Translated Dutch

A/N: This was supposed to be something a little short for the Holidays but I got a little carried away.

Max's gift idea to the reader is taken from @xhopelesslyromanticx's Lando imagine; A Birkin Bag for Y/N. I mean the idea of Max buying the reader a Birkin, I kind of couldn't help myself. This isn't beta read.

Words: 1.8k

Previous Part → Next Part Mini Verstappen Masterlist

Max was happy to be home in Belgium for the holidays. After a long season, and Nikita coming into the world a few weeks before Christmas and the New Year, he was happy that his second son would experience the holidays with them even if he didn't remember it.

In the fog after Nikita's birth, neither you nor Max had the time to wrap Nico's presents. Sophie had come over to "help" with Nikita, while Max and Nico went to pick out a tree for the house so all of you could decorate it together. Sophie had helped wrap presents and even fed Nikita while you took a nap. Sylvie (the nanny) would be spending her holidays back in Monaco with her family.

Max didn't have the best memories of Christmas as he grew up. It was mostly spent with his dad, and the few times it was with his mom, it seemed like the time had passed too fast for him to be able to savor the feeling of being with her and Victoria.

You had all spent Christmas Eve together having dinner before Victoria and Tom took Luka and Lio home to get some rest. They would be back for lunch after opening gifts in the morning.

Sophie had stayed a little longer helping Max with the dishes while you put Nikita to bed. You had come back downstairs holding the baby monitor to Max lying back on the couch with Nico in his arms. Sophie was still in the kitchen insisting that you stay off your feet. She took her bag ready to head home.

"I want to stay up to see De Kerstman," Nico whined from Max's arms.

"De Kerstman won't come unless you are asleep Nico," Max said. Nico reached over giving Sophie a hug and then gave him back to Max so Nico could get ready for bed.

You always found it cute when Nico would slip into Dutch without knowing it. It didn't happen as often as when he was really little, but when Max and Sophie heard it you could tell how fond they were of Nico still talking in Dutch even though he mostly spoke English now.

"You know you can stay here." You offered to Sophie. You assumed that she would refuse, wanting to go home.

Sophie already had her purse packed, but you could turn down the sheets in the guest room and give her something to sleep in for the night. She was supposed to be back here at 10 am and you saw no real reason as to why she should drive home in the snow.

"Are you sure?" She asked. You nodded before Max offered to walk her to the guest room after Nico had brushed his teeth and was in bed.

You had woken up the next morning with Nico jumping on your and Max's bed still in his pajamas. Max had no doubt woken up before you and had gone to check on Nikita after you had woken up to feed him around 5 in the morning.

"Mama," He said out of breath sitting on Max's side of the bed. "When can I open presents?"

"After breakfast." You kissed Nico on his forehead before he ran down the hallway. You were able to get dressed without any interruptions, slipping on a pair of shorts and one of Max's shirts. Just as you came out of the bathroom, you saw Max standing in the doorway holding Nikita.

"Merry Christmas Max." You said packing him in the lips.

"Merry Christmas mijn leeuwin," Max leaned down and kissed your cheek before you opened your arms to take Nikita from him. Max made a slight move as if he didn't want to give Nikita to you before you both started laughing.

You lightly brush past Max just enough for him to move but not enough to move Nikita from his place in Max's arms. Max gave you Nikita after making it downstairs into the kitchen to see Sophie standing in front of the stove making breakfast.

You offered to take over but she shooed you away from the stove. Max placed a cup of decaf coffee in front of you and you placed a kiss on the back of his hand in thanks.

"Mama, De Kerstman came!" Nico yelled looking at all of the boxes of presents for everyone.

"Yes, he did." You drank from your cup while Nico bounced in his seat. After you eat, you went to sit on the couch and fed Nikita before Max took him from you to burp him before Victoria and Tom showed up.

You had all finished eating breakfast just before Victoria had shown up. Everyone was quick to pile into the living room. You had let Nico, Luka, and Lio open their presents first. Nico had gotten a new Charizard plush, he was quick to hug it to his chest before giving it to Max.

"Safekeeping." He muttered placing a finger over his lips as if it was a secret. Max gave him a small nod back.

Luka and Lio had opened their presents from you and Max, all approved by Victoria and Tom beforehand. They were smaller things, building blocks, and a few Lego sets that were for ages 3-5.

As Nico opened his next present from you and Max, he got distracted ripping the paper around the box instead of focusing on the present underneath. Eventually, Nico got to the box taking out a few coloring books and a 150 set of colored pencils. Nico's big present was waiting for him back in Monaco, it was a new bike that he had asked Max for after his birthday had come and gone.

After another hour all of the presents had been exchanged, except for the ones from Max to you and you to him. You would exchange those after everyone left, per the tradition that started after you had moved in with him and Nico.

Nikita had gotten baby clothes that he would grow out of just after he could wear them. Sophie, Victoria, and Tom had collectively bought you the stroller that you had been looking at getting just after everyone had found out about Nikita. You hugged all of them, thanking them for the gift.

Everyone had stayed until three. Sophie had dinner plans with friends, and Tom and Victoria were supposed to head out to a Christmas party.

Max had put on a Christmas movie off Disney+ while the three of you camped out on the couch, and Nikita lay in his swing. After finishing the second movie, Nico fell asleep at Max's side, and you fed Nikita again. Max carefully moved Nico to lie against one of the throw pillows before disappearing to get you a burp rag to clean Nikita up a little.

You could hear Max walking close to the garage but thought nothing of it while you cradled Nikita in your arms. You thought it was a pretty successful Christmas, no tears or tantrums, and Nikita didn't seem fussy while he was being past around today.

"Max did you-" You turned to ask him if he found the rag in the laundry room when he came into the room holding a big orange box with a black bow on it.

Max placed the box on the coffee table before sliding the white rag out from the back of his jeans. He laid it over his shoulder before opening his arms to take Nikita.

"Open it," Max stroked your cheek with his thumb. You looked at Max, and him holding Nikita.

You slowly reached for the box undoing the bow and pulled the orange lid off. Taking all of the paper off before reaching the dust bag inside. You already knew that when it came to Max he didn't shy away from going all out on gifts. You just never thought he would do this.

You pulled open the dust bag before putting your hand in to pull out a black bag with red stripes on the side. It was a Birkin 25, in black Epsom leather with two red stripes of leather and with palladium hardware. Max must have seen you looking at pictures on your computer late one night. He knew you so well.

You pulled the dust bag closed after hearing a little burp come out, Max's navy blue shirt now had a white spit-up stain on it. You quickly covered your mouth to stifle a laugh.

"You find it funny that I have baby vomit on me?" Max asked. You shook your head no but couldn't help but smile.

“Liar,” He said, moving Nikita on his shoulder. You let out a laugh before Max smiled back at you. Max cleared the spit up off Nikita’s chin before giving him to you.

You watched as Max pulled his shirt off, folding it over on itself so none of Nikita’s spit-up would get onto the fabric of the couch. You gave Nikita back, watching as Nikita curled into Max, getting skin-to-skin contact with him, before quickly disappearing into the house's entryway, to collect the white cardboard Rolex box out of your purse.

You had splurged a little on Max's Christmas gift this year. It had been a good year for you at work even though you were technically on maternity leave the last two months.

You were back on the couch quickly, giving Max the box before he placed Nikita in your arms. He undid the packaging before getting to the green box, opening it to see a Yacht-Master 42 Falcon’s Eye Oyster Rolex in white gold. Max didn't own one like it.

He slowly pulled it out from the box before taking off the Tag-Hauer he wore during the day. You held Max's watch, seeing him hold the new one in his hands.

"Check the underside." You told him. Max turned it around to see the engraving on the back.

**-**-**** 10-17-2020 12-03-2025

Three dates, your, Nico's, and Nikita's birthdays on the back, with room if you and Max had more kids. You were lucky that the watch was still being made when Nikita was born. They added the last engraving the week after Nikita was born.

"So we're always with you."

Max moved his hand up to cover his eyes. You moved Nikita into his swing so you could focus on Max.

"I love it," He said before laying his head against your shoulder a few tears escaping down his cheeks. "Thank you, Y/N."

“You’re welcome, Maxy.” You said back watching as he slid the watch onto his wrist. Adjusting the face so it would sit right on his wrist.

You had ended up putting both of your and Max's Christmas gifts into the master closet. Everything could be properly put away after the boys went to bed.

Max woke Nico up from his nap while you started a late dinner, for all of you. Nikita was by you while you were cooking, you saw Max playing with the dials of his watch, Nico looking over at it a bit before asking Max to open up his new box of colored pencils.

Translation(s):

de kerstman - Santa Clause

Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun

[mavcancees]

also like why is he selling this thing as if it's one of a kind

translators have existed for years. it was like a main selling point for google back in 2016 with the pixel phones. this isn't unique. it's not new technology. it's just a voice translator with subtitles

and it's new and untrained so it's probably ass ? unless he's just ripping google api. which then. he just made a gui for an existing translator that already had a gui

THIS ISN'T A NEW THING HE'S JUST LYING 😭😭😭

[copperbadge]

Sam it cracks me up how much you seem to hate the Metra. I ride it 5 days a week for work and I LOVE it. It’s the best commute I’ve ever had. It’s so much freaking more comfortable than the L, it’s very timely outside of the occasional “pedestrian incident”, and monthly passes are cheap as hell if you’re in one of the closer zones like I am.

I realize that it’s probably not as great for random non-commuter riders, but even if you weren’t just using it for traveling on the same line and schedule all the time I still think it’s way less confusing than City buses. Which are TERRIFYING and inscrutable.

Well, I think that's the problem -- Metra is so wholly oriented toward suburban commuters that it forgets that maybe other people want to use it, and it's super hostile to everyone who is not a suburban commuter.

It goes a lot of places I would like to go, but I absolutely refuse to use it unless there's no other option, because of a) no signage and b) no announcements with an optional c) runs ONCE A FUCKIN HOUR. At my last job, if I tried to use the Metra to commute and missed my 4:30 train I was stuck in goddamn Hyde Park for an hour. Sometimes even if you manage to catch the ONCE AN HOUR train, on many platforms only two of the twenty train doors will open, and if you're not in front of one of them, the Metra does not wait for you to reach one, it just says fuck you and pulls away.

It's not that it's "not great" for random non-commuters, it's that it's actively harmful, but it's also really tempting because it Goes Right Where You Want To Go. It's the venus flytrap of trains. The number of people I have told "Do not take the metra. You'll think you can, but it's lying to you. You'll get lost." who I have then had to talk through getting found again when they took the metra and got lost? Eight. The number of people I have told that to and not had to help get found again after they took the metra? Zero. Not a single person I know who has taken the Metra while visiting Chicago has reached their destination without incident.

A city bus comes multiple times an hour and runs on weekends, usually has a clearly posted route number, can be signaled to stop without speaking directly to the bus driver, and all the routes are mapped clearly on Google Maps. The fact you find the bus inscrutable but not the Metra kills me :D

[gyuswhore]

How seventeen would react to your broken nail

masterlist

Seungcheol: he'll kiss it better at your insistence but only to humour you; mans does not care unless you're actively bleeding.

Jeonghan: will gasp in response to your own gasp of shock as the nail breaks. will try to superglue it back together.

Joshua: will also superglue it - except he does it the right way. whips out his teabags and bandaids. will also trim it once it finally grows out.

Jun: 'can't you tape it?" mans forgot bandaids exist. a lil confused but hes got the spirit.

Wonwoo: will do the sensible thing and take you to a nail tech. it's on you to bandage it for support though hes not thinking that hard.

Soonyoung: will whip out a tiger bandaid. it's corny asf but I know for a fact he has a box of tiger bandaids lying around for this exact purpose.

Jihoon: will take you hands in his and inspect the damage. "oh well" and he's back to his regularly scheduled program.

Minghao: will try to fix it himself. saw someone using builder gel on tiktok and how they swore by it and orders it online. "babe this isn't getting here till Tuesday I can't wait till then" "hush do you wanna fix this or not"

Mingyu: will be the one who broke it bc he plays with your fingers too much. gives you that look. pay for a whole new set of nails.

Seokmin: vvvv concerned if it's hurting you "do you need numbing cream?" "babe no I need solace"

Seungkwan: almost as horrified as you are. googling hacks to fix it. may try to order 'magic gel' from some sketchy website.

Vernon: "they'll grow back". that's it.

Chan: genuinely concerned. mourns with you. will try to search up hacks to fix it too but might end up taking you to a salon anyway.

(A/N: I wrote this at 4 AM bc ofc im gonna procrastinate on my wips)

[romanoffsbish]

Cuddle Bug 🐞 🫂

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Carol x Val ; Bishova 🥰❤️

SIKE! Fluff train still flows through the station besties, I promise not to go all dark on you, 🥹🥰

I wrote this for a very special person, and I hope it brings her comfort in these trying times (🖕🏼you Mercury for being in retrograde lol) ❤️

Warnings: None, unless tooth rotting fluff bothers you lol (Emotional R 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Smut: Soft!Shower sex, Mommy (N), Fingering(R), Marking (R), Praising!!

18+ | Minors DNI !!!

(Gifs from Google/Tenor)

Natasha sighed heavily, her breaths fanning across your sleeping face, and she smiled wide as your nose lightly twitched from the breeze. That, and the subtle smacking of your lips was a telltale sign to her that you're nearly awake, and since she's leaving this evening she doesn't exactly feel that bad being the reason you're going to be up "early." Though the clock is flashing a reasonable 10:00AM behind you she just knows you're going to be a grump about it.

She'll gladly take a grumpy Y/N, to be honest she'd take you anyway you came, you're the human embodiment of a safe space for her. This—the genuine domesticity, is everything the trained assassin had ever wanted, and she knows now that it is all she would ever need. You'd come into her life at a time when the world expected too much from her, and with her guilty heart she was ready to give it all.

Then you showed up, and like the breath of fresh air you are you never expected much of anything from her. She'd been hesitant to let you in when you first joined the team five years ago, but now, with you perfectly molded against her body she finds it a silly notion that she ever ran away from you and your serenity. Love came far too naturally with you, all she'd ever known was that it was meant for children, but with every soft touch, or giggle her guarded heart was being disarmed by your open one.

To the world you were a force to be reckoned with, most feared you and your skillset, but behind closed doors you are not a threat. Natasha, as well as many other Avengers, view you as if you were akin to a snuggly koala, and now that you've retired it's almost all you are. Soft, and full of love to give, and with a group of superheroes it's almost a necessity to have you around; cuddles heal the broken.

Just as you went to shift your body so your face could hide in the pillow she stopped you with a gentle touch to your shoulder resulting in your immediate groans of protest. Natasha smiled at your expected outburst, then she leaned in to whisper in your ear., "Now, now, how about you wake-up, and spend the day with me.," you didn't even budge, and she was honestly a tad bit offended., "Or you can stay in bed, and miss your chance at snuggles before I leave."

An eye popped open, and she sighed in relief, but then you squinted said eye, glaring halfway up at her, she was both confused, and amused., "Is this not snuggling?," you rasped out, and the assassin pouted at your factual words., "Yes, but it's not proper if you're snoring in my face the entire time.," her adorable whining lightly roused you out of your grumpy state., "Fair enough Nat, I'm up, so what's the move?"

The redhead leaned in to kiss you as soon as you changed your tune, shifting your positions until she was lying atop of you, and that's how you two spent the following twenty minutes. Engaged in a slow, yet passionate make out session, where every last bit of love the two of you felt for one another was transferred.

It would've lasted through the hour too, but your stomach announcing your hunger roused your lover to move into action, and pull you to the kitchen. Feeding you well before she left was always a must, because she knew when she left you failed at maintaining a decent intake., "Bon appetite, mon cherie.," she placed the plate of french toast, with fruits and eggs in front of you, then she settled a kiss to your forehead before she took her space beside you., "Merci, mon amour.," a tint of pink decorated her cheeks, she always loved when you spoke to her in such soft ways, it never failed to make her whole body warm with bewildered delight.

The day went by in the blink of an eye, full of unwavering joy, but ending now in immense sadness as you watch Nat slipping into her mission suit, a permanent frown on your face., "Stop that detka, you're going to get wrinkles.," the redhead teased, trying her best not to mirror your mood in a show of faux bravery., "Yeah? Aging is natural—are you saying you'd stop loving me if I had wrinkles Natty?," she heard you sniffle, and almost immediately she dropped to her knees before you on the bed.

"Detka.," she sweetly whispered, using her hands to link with yours, and moving until her face found yours., "Don't say such silly things.," she chuckled when you squealed, her having pulled your body off the bed and into her lap., "I just don't like seeing my baby so sad is all."

A sigh left her lips when you buried your face in the crook of her neck, where you began to leave soft kisses against the sliver of exposed skin., "I'm going to miss you Natty.," her heart nearly snapped in two as you began to cry, and the thought of telling Fury to shove it crossed her mind, but then she reminded herself that her petition for retirement calls for only two more months of this, then she's free to leave, and live out a life worth living with you., "I'll miss you so much moya lyubov', but I'll be back in no time.," she offered you a smile, and you mirrored it the best you could with puffy eyes., "Safe and sound?," she nodded, then kissed your lips for a final time before she pulled you both off the ground, and embraced you tightly.

Natasha picked up her duffle bag, while carrying you out of the room as you latched onto her like you always did as she left. Yelena was standing in the middle of the hangar, as she always was to collect you from her sister., "Come now my koala, it's my turn for all the snuggles.," you always giggled when she took you from Natasha with a smug smirk., "Be mindful of who's girlfriend she is Lena.," the elder sister warned, and she rolled her eyes., "I'm well aware that Y/N has bad taste sestra.," you narrowed your eyes at the blonde, but when she smirked at you all the anger melted, and you snuggled into her hold., "Ha. Mine."

Yelena immediately took off, hold on you tight to keep you secured, because her sister was already cursing at her from afar, if she were to injure you she just knew her days would be numbered., "Get comfy moye solnyshko.," Yelena grunted as she tossed you onto her mattress before moving to her bathroom, you gasped excitedly when you found you weren't alone in the bed., "Kitkat!," you squealed, the brunette's brown eyes slowly fluttered open., "Y/N/N.," she half smiled at you, then as if it were second nature she pulled you in, and the both of you sighed at the comforting hold.

The peace lasted all of two seconds though, as the blonde returned, and threw herself atop of the both of you., "Make room my girls, I'm supposed to be the middle spoon this time!," you both groaned at the impact, but shuffled for her nonetheless, and with the warmth of their bodies, and love, you fell asleep quickly., "Such a snuggle butt she is, my sister is lucky.," Kate shoved her girlfriend lightly, but in a way she agreed with her lover, Natasha was lucky.

—

Days had gone by, and the couple kept you close, but unfortunately they were also called away on a mission, and so that left you alone. There wasn't an exact science to it, but come day three without Nat, and you were usually at your worst in terms of missing the woman. Which is how you found yourself in the one place she loved most, wearing all of her clothes, and wrapped up in her designated blanket.

Wanda was reading in the compounds study when she heard a body shifting uncontrollably. Peering over the couch in the corner she found your teary eyed face looking back at her, then when you reached for her she wasted no time in joining you on the tiny couch. She laid directly atop of you to ground you, and once your sniffling had lessened she shifted to her side and pulled your face to her chest., "Oh honey, why didn't you come to find me?," your arms tightened around her., "Didn't wanna bother you Wands, you seemed busy earlier."

"I'm never too busy for you Y/N/N, you should know that by now.," she settled a kiss to your temple, then ran a hand up and down your back just like she knew you loved., "Get some rest now malen'kiy, I'll be here with you, then when you wake up we'll go make dinner.," an accomplished smile overtook your sister's face when she felt your soft patterned breaths, and after a few moments she also slipped into a nap, it's really hard not to when you have a human shaped furnace there to lull you.

When the both of you awoke a few hours later Wanda allowed herself a moment to just bask in your cuddles, dinner could wait a few more minutes, because she knew everyone would understand that you don't pass up on cuddles with Y/N., "You hungry malen'kiy?," she asked in a whisper, to which you nodded against her chest., "Then let's go make dinner for the team.," and though neither of you wanted to get up, you both shuffled off the couch and made your way to the kitchen where a group of people were waiting., "Valkyrie! Carol!"

The otherworldly woman beamed at the sight of you, opening their arms wide as an obvious invitation, and they nearly awe'd out loud as you shuffled into their embrace with your lovers blanket still wrapped tightly around your body., "We were hoping for dinner, but this is even better.," the Asgardian admitted, and the blonde simply tightened her grip in agreement., "I am so happy you guys are here."

Valkyrie, and Carol soon turned to your sister, engaging in light conversation with her about their previous endeavors, while you cuddled further into the King's hold, and she smiled down at you as you did., "Such a cutie pie.," you shied away from the teasing compliment, huffing even in an attempt to warn her, but she just chuckled lightly, and held you tighter., "Calm down now, unless you plan to smother me to death with your snuggles, I am not afraid of you in the slightest honey."

"Careful Val, Y/N might be the cutest thing around these parts, but she's deadly as can be.," Carol winked at you as she spoke, and you smiled in triumph when the other woman gazed at you skeptically, then shivered at the sight of the ice blue swirling around your eyes., "You know Danvers, I won't doubt you here."

"Smart choice.," you tiredly mumbled, and in a few moments time you were lightly snoring., "She's sleeping again?," Wanda remarked in an exaggerated tone to give way to the fact that she expected nothing less than this, and the couple giggled as they looked down at you., "Nobody would ever believe she was the most dangerous person in this room.," Carol mused while snapping a photo of your softened face to immediately send it off to your girlfriend.

—

The next day came and went with you literally attached to your sister's side, and the witch loved every second of it. She missed having to be your cuddle partner, if she didn't love how happy you genuinely were with Natasha she'd have likely sabotaged the relationship ages ago.

Now though, on day five, you were moping around the empty compound wondering where everyone could have possibly gone. There was no one left to cuddle, at one point you even began looking for Tony, desperation nearly leading you into the stinky mans arms, but fortunately for your later pride he was also out. Today was even worse than the last few days for you, because Natasha is due back at some point between today and tomorrow depending on the weather and amount of paperwork.

Suspense was always your worst enemy, which is also why being alone was the absolute worst. You dropped onto the couch in a huff., "Friday, shuffle my tunes please.," you stared up at the ceiling dramatically as the AI did as you said., " 'Y/N's — What Even is Existence, if not just a Means to Cause Pain?' playlist is on shuffle."

Songs began to blur the longer you laid there, staring up and imagining it was your girlfriend hovering above you and not the swinging light. After an hour of lying there you slipped into a light slumber, completely oblivious to the sound of scuffling at the compounds doors, but then a loud boom had you shooting into a sitting position., "Honey, I am home!," you bounded off the couch and straight into the blondes arms., "What am I? Chopped liver?"

"Don't be silly KitKat, it's called saving the best for last.," you teased while shifting into her arms and missing the way Yelena's face drops, or how Kate's tongue pokes out at her lover., "That sounds like no mac and cheese for you!"

The three of you filtered back into the living room after a bout of bickering, leading to the blonde saying you got all the mac and cheese after you threatened to "Tell Natty on her.," and now that all was well again you'd began to watch the Harry Potter films upon Kate's requests, and against Yelena's pleading. It didn't matter to you honestly, all you wanted was cuddles, and honestly they felt the same.

As the hours went by, the team began to slowly return to the compound, filtering into the living room, and silently fighting over who got to hold you next. After a few hours of playing "hot Y/N," dinner was finally ordered, and Wanda held you close, and ensured you ate it, while everyone settled into the blankets you set on the floor, and watched your favorite movie.

You were so enthralled with what was taking place on the screen that you once again missed the creaking of the front door. Everyone else saw the silhouette of your lover though, and for their safety they began to create loads of space. To which you did take notice of, all the warmth was being stolen from you, but when you went to protest it died on your lips, and was replaced with squeals and the soft pattering of your feet., "NATTY!!!!," she effortlessly caught you, and pulled you up and into her strong arms., "I've missed you so much my sweetest girl."

The redhead nodded to everyone in the room in silent thanks before taking her leave with the quiet sobbing body attached to hers., "Shh, I'm home moya lyubov', and I'm going nowhere.," she carried you into your bathroom next, where she started to run the tap, and while it warmed she pressed your body against the marble with hers, and cupped your wet cheeks., "Hey, hey, there's no need to cry sweetheart.," she tenderly pressed her lips to your cheeks, catching your tears in the bow of her lip as she did, and soon she was transferring that salty taste to you as she locked her lips with yours., "I'm right here detka, mommy's got you."

With an effortless pull your shirt was removed, followed quickly by the rest of your clothes, then in the blink of an eye you found yourself under the stream of steaming water, with your girlfriends hands trailing over your bare body., "Mommy, please.," she smirked into the kiss., "What is it detka?," her lips began to trail down your slippery skin, leaving behind her marks in the most familiar of places., "Tell mommy what you need from me... I'm not a mind reader."

"Need to feel you inside.," you panted, already out of breath as she had been toying with your breasts while you had been aimlessly begging for more., "There we go detka, my smart girl using her words so well.," at the sight of your proud smile she slammed her lips back to yours for a heated kiss, while her fingers lazily traveled down to spread your folds apart, and she groaned into your mouth upon finding out you were already wet enough for her., “Fuck."

Natasha slipped two fingers into you with ease, her lips on yours to stifle the initial gasp, but soon they were en route to your breasts, she never was one for restricting your heavenly sounds., "There you go detka, show me just how well my fingers are fucking into your tight little cunt.," she kept a slow, and steady pace as she worked on bringing you to a place of total euphoria, because to her there was just always something so beautiful about watching you coming apart so openly with only her fingers and mouth involved in the process.

Her own core throbbed whenever you moaned in pleasure, but she paid it no mind, because it was always all about you when she returned. You’d never taken her being gone on solo missions well, and so whenever she returned the first twenty four hours were for you. There wasn't anything more important to her than making sure your bodies were reconnected, it was her quickest way of reassuring you of her permanence, and quite frankly being wrapped up in the sheets, or in the shower like you both were now were some of her favorite moments.

The two of you had a rather lively sex life, so much so that Tony installed a sound proofing option a few years back. But these moments, they are different, it’s not a carnal experience as much as it is a seeking of deeper intimacy. Being buried deep inside of you brought the redhead immense comfort, knowing that she is the only one allowed to have you like this, to be able to lay her claim to you while your body racks with pleasure that only she can bring.

Natasha’s tongue was swirling over your sensitive nipples, with her thumb delivering slow, yet incredibly powerful circles to your clit so she knew she’d have you nearing that edge of bliss in no time. She released your nipple when she felt your chest heaving even harder, your walls now clinging to her unrelentingly. Quickly she peppered kisses all over your chest, retracing over the route of her marks, then she gently pecked your parted lips for reassurance. She pulled back with a soft smile, your eyes held an obvious pleading, and she leaned her forehead to yours., “Let go for mommy detka.,” she whispered the encouragement while her fingers curled perfectly into your innermost sensitive spot, and your body arched into hers.

“Such a good fucking girl.,” she groaned as she felt your slick release trailing down her palm., “Always so good for me, fuck, I need to taste you my sweetest girl., ” her arm remained around you as she held your tired form up, she continued to whisper softly to you as her fingers left your core with pitiful whines., “Taste so sweet detka, smooth like honey.”

“I fucking love you so much detka.,” her hand that was once inside you moved to trace over the features of your face before cupping your cheek, and pulling you in for a deepened kiss., “My one and only.,” you smiled against her, breaking the kiss but she didn’t mind that much when she could feel your happiness so deeply., “I love you Natty, my one and only.,” she reconnected her lips to yours, exploring your mouth, and feeling rather affected as you moaned at your lingering taste on her tongue., “Let’s get all cleaned up detka, then we can continue this in the bedroom, sounds good?,” she placed a soft kiss to your shoulder, then got to work as soon as you nodded the go ahead.

Natasha took care as she cleaned your body, then she massaged your scalp tenderly, hoping to alleviate you of all your remaining stresses. A smile was on her face when you eagerly took the chance to return the favor, you sudsed up her loofah with your favorite body wash of hers, and tenderly traced it over her body. Her body shivered as you kissed over the fresh, tiny scrapes that marred her silky skin, then she watched with teary eyes as you kissed over all of her scars, parts of her she always wanted to hide were the parts you made sure to care for. Healing her in ways that are far deeper than the marks had ever been, which lead her to pull you back up and in for a needed hug.

“Natty, we have all day tomorrow, why don’t we just snuggle? I’ll run get you some dinner, and we can watch all the Bond movies.,” she chuckled at your offer, your face was already nuzzling into her chest telling her that you were definitely a bit tired, but also because there’s no way you’re even lasting the first movie, it still warms her heart that you’d try for her sake., “Sounds perfect detka, but I’ll just have Friday make one of the guys bring dinner up, I wanna start my snuggles instantly!,” she lifted you up, causing you to giggle as she ran your conjoined bodies out, and jumped onto the towel she’d already left on the mattress.

“Prettiest baby.,” she coo’d, now that she was straddling your naked body, and using the spare towel to dry you off, just to follow it up with a layer of lotion, and a baggy band t shirt., “Easy access.,” she answered your furrowed brows unspoken question with a wink, then a peck to your nose before she shifted you beneath the blankets, and repeated the process for herself just in time for her takeout to arrive.

Natasha settled into the bed, and within the second your body was smushed into her side, an arm laying over her, and that sight of your sleepy smile was enough to make her melt. After pressing play on the remote, she settled her hand on your back, and began to move it up and down to lull you to sleep faster while she ate her food, and watched her movie for as long as she could before her eyes would make their way back to just watch you sleeping, content to live in this moment forever really.

Just knowing that in every sense of the word, you’re hers—mind, body, and soul, well it is the reason her heart still beats without contempt; loving you was her peace in the storm that many would call life, and even if she winds up sharing you with the team at times, when you’re snuggled into her chest in the dead of night like this, she knows you are hers alone.

————————————————

3,880 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 🥰

[gilverrwrites]

Hiiii could you do a forbidden hero x villain romance of captain boomerang and reader? Thank you in advance 🙃

No Use Mending Bridges

Captain Boomerang/Reader, 2.7K words

He'd been everything to you then. Now he was a crumpled mess, laying broken and battered on your couch. Rated: M

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

CW: Mentions of blood and violence , swearing, angst, arguing, unhealthy relationship dynamics, betrayal, lying.

Please know: I think you are absolutely wonderful!

The view through your peephole is distorted; it makes his head look bulbous and alien-like, but despite the skewed image and years of no-contact, he’s still immediately recognisable. Fully prepared to tell him to take a hike unless he wants a free ride to the police station, you swing the door open only to be halted by the unobscured sight of him. His coat and gloves were torn and bloodied, one hand clutched to his ribs, the other supporting his weight on your door frame.

“Hey, stranger.” He splutters between bloody coughs. His face twitches in pain at each syllable. There’s a cluster of nasty reddish-purple bruises forming around the left side of his face, and he appears to have lost another tooth.

“What the fuck George?!” Confirming the coast is clear with a quick scan of the hallway, you herd his limping form into the apartment, where he unceremoniously spreads across the couch. “What the hell did you do? Why even come here?”

“I didn’t do nothin’.” His speech is slurred, and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s drunk, injured, or both. “I had nowhere else to go.”

“Just stay still.” You instruct as you begin rummaging, looking for your first-aid kit; it must be somewhere here. “And don’t touch anything!”

By the time you locate what you’re looking for and return to his side, George is unconscious. His pupils constrict as expected when you shine a light on them. Moderately happy that he’s not concussed you allow him to sleep as you clean him up, disturbing him only to remove his coats and boots.

By the time you’re done patching him up, it's late into the night. You don’t really want to leave him alone… because he might steal something, not because you’re worried about him. But because you’re exhausted. Resolving to leave him alone for a few hours, you pack up your kit and head to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water and some painkillers.

When you return, he’s awake, barely. Bleary reddened eyes watch you in silence as you place the glass and pills on your coffee table.

“Can you talk?” You ask.

“Oh yeeeeeaaahhhhh.” His speech seems worse now than when he’d arrived. “Ripperrrr.”

He must have really got his shit rocked. Or gotten really pissed before getting his shit rocked. You wait for him to say something more, to thank you for taking him in and fixing him up. He sits there watching you back, threading his tongue between the new gap in his teeth. As more and more time passes it becomes increasingly apparent that he has nothing to say to you. Ungrateful bastard.

Although it shouldn’t surprise you, really. Years ago, when you’d been an item, you’d patched him up plenty of times, bailed him out of prison, even gotten into fights for him, and he’d never thanked you then, either. It was always someone else’s fault, someone else’s burden. He was a martyr, and you’d believed him, every time. Right up until you’d caught him red handed, fist full of stolen cash in the middle of Central City National Bank’s vault. Although every fibre of your being wanted to hear him out, to forgive him, and take him home, you knew then and there that there was no coming back from this moment.

He knew who you were and the things you stood for, and he’s barefaced lied to you, going behind your back, living a double life as a criminal.

Shaking with anger, humiliation, and heartache, you did your best to shut him out as you hauled his ass down to the CCPD, swearing never to look back. And you didn’t; you never looked up his record, never googled his name, never asked your mutual friends about him. However, that didn’t stop you from hoping for a card in the mail every holiday, or scrolling through your camera roll with a tub of cookie dough whenever you thought about him too much or turning down every offer at a date with literally one else.

He'd been everything to you then. Now he was a crumpled mess, laying broken and battered on your couch.

“Who did this to you?” You ask, maybe because you want to hear his excuse, or maybe because you really want to know who is responsible.

“Why? You gonna arrest 'em?” Between the swollen face and the way he keeps lolling his tongue around, it's difficult to make out an emotion until he follows up with what is clearly intended as bitter sarcasm: “Myyyy hero!”

You have mixed emotions. You almost want to be proud of him for not immediately giving you a name and for feeding you a story about some guy who totally started it, but really, you knew it wasn’t that. He’d probably deserved it, probably been caught with his hands in the proverbial cookie jar by a hero bigger and stronger than you, with less emotional attachment. Or maybe he’s just intentionally being a dick, still mad at you for putting him behind bars.

“I don’t arrest people, George.” You take a deep breath, determined to sound professional. “But if needs be, I will turn them in to the police.”

“Don’t ya know; Snitches get stitches.” The more he refuses to tell you, the hotter your blood runs.

How dare he turn up here, asking for your help, then refuse to let you do your job. You’d had every right to turn him away, but you hadn’t. The least he could do was tell you why he’d darkened your doorway.

“You were a mess. You are a mess, and you know it, or else you wouldn’t have come here.” Your composure is slipping, each word growing louder and more agitated than the last. You care far more than you should, and you know it, that is the problem. “Whoever did this to you must be held accountable for their actions.”

“’Must be held accountable for their actions’, blah, blah, blah. Do they teach ya all that fancy talk at crime fighting 101 or whatever it is you do?” All the colour drains from his face as he watches your reaction, the way your face twists with anger. Instant regret. “Alright, alright, am sorry. That was uncalled for. I just… can we talk about it in the mornin’?”

 “Will you still be here in the morning?”

Caught in a half lie, George falls silent, turning his head to avoid your gaze. All that red-hot rage leaves your body, replaced with a similar emptiness that settles in your chest. You’d barely gotten him out of your system when he’d turned up, and now he was practically gone already. It was for the best, really. No use mending bridges and making up with him; it would do neither of your reputations any good.

“Right. I’m going to bed. Goodnight George.” You’re gone before he can respond.

The creak of footsteps against hardwood flooring stirs you from half-sleep. For a thief, he’s awful at keeping quiet. The smart thing to do would be to check on him. He was probably halfway out of a window with his pockets full of valuables, but whatever he’d taken would be a small price to pay to not have to look at him one more time.

Light from the hallway peeped into the room, not bright enough to blind you, but enough to put you on alert to the door opening. Confused and on edge, you dart up, finding George stood at the end of the bed. He’d removed his shirt and jeans, exposing some minor cuts and bruises that you’d missed, and leaving him in nothing but his briefs. A sorry sight for sore eyes.

“Forgot how uncomfortable the couch is.” He informs you nonchalantly.

“You picked it, ‘didn’t wanna pay more than $50 on a doghouse’.” You did you best to imitate his accent, earning you a laugh. The sound was strange, you hadn’t realised you’d forgotten it until you heard it again.

“Can I?” he gestures to you, to the bed.

“How bashed up is your head? Hell no.” You pull the sheets tighter around yourself.

“Oh, come on, ya said it yourself am a mess, an’ that lumpy old thing ain’t exactly helping.” The way he waves his arms around must hurt, must be agitating his wounds, and pulling his bandages loose, but the movements are so familiar, so quintessentially him, that you can’t help but smile. Clearly knowing he’s found a weak spot, he comes closer, dropping to his knees, elbows on the bed, head cradled in his hands as he bats exaggeratedly large eyes at you. “Technically, it’s our bed anyway, so… Please?”

“Fine.” He’s pulling the sheets back before you’ve even finished. Wriggling his ass against the mattress, batting the pillows into place, too late to take it back now.

“Is that my pillow?” He asks, pointing to your side of the bed.

Originally, you’d taken it because the smell reminded you of him, but it had been such a long time. It no longer smelled of him, and you could claim that you don’t remember. “Not anymore.”

“’Fine.’” He mimics you for the second time that night, probably payback for your atrocious attempt at Australian earlier.

Awkward silence befalls the room. It’s not as bad as it had been downstairs, not as hostile, but the tension is still thick. When you’d patched him up earlier, the air had been pungent with blood and steriliser. Now though, he filled the bed with a familiar spicy musk that made you more comfortable than you’d anticipated. You wondered if you’ll wash the sheets right after he’s gone, or if you’ll be swapping the pillows around once more.

You risk a peek at him, curious if he still the same up-close, all scruff and rough and homey. His green eyes are already staring back at you. Caught out, you refuse to shy away, allowing him to watch you watch him. He’s leaner now, and you note a few tattoos you don’t recognise across his upper arm and chest.

As the minutes pass, the tension simmers. It’s almost peaceful, being so close again. It all feels so intimate, so easy, at least until he says the dumbest thing you’ve heard all day.

“What happened to us, aye?”

“What happened? You lied to me, for basically all of our relationship. You humiliated me.” Once it started coming out, it didn’t stop. Unconsciously, you sit up straight, keeping your distance as you continue to rant. “You can’t just talk your way back in here and pretend like it didn’t happen. I trusted you, and you made a fool out of me.”

“Hold on now, it’s not like that.” He remains calm, still laying back in the bed, amused by your sudden outburst. His laid-back attitude had been so charming when you’d fallen for him. Now it pissed you off.

“Then what is it like, George?” His brows don’t furrow until you reach the end of the sentence.

“Stop it.” He finally sits up, hunched to ensure eye contact. “Stop calling me that!”

Even during the worst spells of your relationship, he’s never eyed you so intensely, not in this context, at least. Back then, it might have scared you, but now you were relieved to see some real emotion from him, even if he’s picking at a scab you don’t want touched. You know exactly what he’s getting at, but you don’t want to address it, so you repeat your earlier question. “What is it like?”

“You’ve never called me George before today.” He rebuffs your question again, zeroing in on his own issue. He’d never liked his birthname, so you’d never used it—not until you’d needed a way to distance yourself from him.

“George never broke my heart.” Your voice is a whisper but he’s close enough to hear it. He gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing as he mulls over your words. Every second is like torture until you put a stop to it. You grab his pillow from the bed as you stand. “This was a mistake. Take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Please don’t.” Calloused fingers wrap around your arm, not hard enough to bruise but firm enough to keep their grip as you’re tugged back onto the bed. “I’m sorry for what I did, for all of it—the fights, the stealin’. And I’m sorry I didn’t say sorry sooner.”

Those same strong fingers drag along your arms, attempting to offer comfort. Unable to muster the resolve to fight it, you let him pull you deeper onto the bed, encasing you in an embrace that is both unwelcome and wanted.

“Do you think there’s a way we can fix us?” He asks, voice cracked. He draws closer, nestling into the nook of your neck as he awaits your response.

You’ve laid awake in this very spot missing him for such a long time. Praying that one day, this exact moment might happen, but there are things you have to be certain of first. “Are you just saying all this to get laid?”

There is hesitation that briefly fills you with dread before he replies carefully. “No.”

“Will you give it all up?” You cup his cheeks, pulling him up until you’re face to face, where you can watch his reaction. You’re both so close, so ready to fold, but you can’t give up your morals, so maybe you can convince him to change. “The whole rogue thing? Will you quit?”

“Darlin’… Loving you has nothing to do with -”

You interrupt him with a kiss, a desperate attempt to change his mind before he commits to his statement. He tastes like copper and malt. Blood and beer. It reminds you of every kiss you’d shared before now. You shove your tongue inside his mouth, craving more, and he shudders in response.

When you pull away, he watches you with a dazed expression, scabbed lips pulled into a dreamy smile.

“That was ace.” Your foreheads press together, and he closes his eyes, thinking, preserving, you’re not sure, but his smile gradually falters. “But would ya do that in front of the bonze?”

“I would.” It’s an instant response, but once it leaves your mouth you know there’s a stipulation. “If you reformed.”

“We’re just goin’ around in bloody circles.” He releases you, hands thrown in the air as he falling back against the bed with a frustrated grunt. A giggle escapes your lips at the sight, but once he’s settled, you start to miss the warmth of his body with a force you hadn’t felt since the night of your breakup.

Unwilling to let the moment go just yet, you encroach his side of the bed, resting your head on his chest. He signals his approval by stroking his hand against your back.

“We’re supposed to be enemies, you know?” You’re talking to him but don’t have the strength to move in a way that allows you to look at his face. “I should hate you, why can’t I hate you?”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious why.” He gives your shoulder a playful nudge. “Am just lovable.”

He laughs at his joke, wholeheartedly. You laugh, humouring his attempt to lighten the mood.

When the laughter dries up, you lay together in silence yet again, so many pauses, both of you so uncertain how to move forward. The beat of his heart thumping beneath your ears is the only sound you can make out.

“I just gotta pull one last job.” He cuts through the quiet.

“What is it?” You make the effort to angle your head upwards, but he halts you by placing his hand on the top of your head.

“Can’t tell ya.” He taps his fingers against your head the way he would a table, one fingertip at a time. It’s a nervous tick he’d picked up a long time ago. “Nothin’ personal, just don’t want ya tryna’ stop me.”

Could you call yourself a hero if you let him do whatever he was planning? If you didn’t take preventative measures, or hold him responsible for yet another crime?

“Digger, please don’t make me regret this.”

When you wake the next morning, the space beside you is empty and cold. The wrinkled outline of his body in the sheets serve as the only proof that anyone had been there the night before. No noises rung through the flat, no footsteps, no echo from the TV, no running water. Fighting through morning fuzziness you stumble out of your bedroom, searching for your missing bedfellow, only to find an open window and an empty wallet. 

[shubaka]

some kpts fic recs! here are some that i'll randomly catch myself thinking about again :')

GEN

Silver for Truth by snickerdoodlles

Tawan dug himself a grave when he hurt Kinn all those years ago, now it’s time for Khun and Kim to put him in it. (this is part 2 of a series but i feel compelled to rec this particular one lmao)

The Knight's Pawn by Yuujeong

When Big appears one day at Kim's doorstep as his new bodyguard, Kim is mentally prepared; he will not befriend, he will not open up and most importantly, he will not get attached. Korn made sure he learned this lesson a long time ago. Still, sometimes, on silent nights consisting of a cigarette and his guitar, he ponders on his past, on the days accompanied by an unassuming bodyguard with dimples and he smiles bitterly to himself. Or. The relationship between Kim and Pete, before everything.

KENBIG

Somewhere with Snow by gayzuko

"Everything's going to shit, isn't it?" Ken says when they part. Big sighs. "Yeah. Yeah, it is." "Do you ever think about leaving?"

KIMCHAY

Back on the Beat by Pens

On one hand, Kim is thrilled that Porchay responded to his ridiculous message. On the other hand, he doesn't really know where to go from here... he supposes he has no one to blame but himself. At least Porchay hasn't left him on read this time. Kim will just have to figure out a way to get Porchay to forgive him... through memes.. Illustrated and animated!, with some words in between.

clip by laesa

Korn dies and Kim slowly grows his hair out long. His brothers and boyfriend approve.

Come On, Get Up by phnelt

Kim gets kidnapped. Luckily, Chay has a very particular set of skills that he has acquired over a long career of being an ultra-fan. And he knows how to google.

deep in this sleeplessness by bisexualbard

“Kim.” Chay keeps repeating, and hearing his name from those lips still makes something flutter in his chest, even after all these months. “Are you saying we could have been getting a good night’s sleep for like a week now and you didn’t tell me?” He shrugs again. Chay keeps emphasizing words accusatorily, like approaching him and saying, hey I think we’ve been cursed so that we can’t sleep unless we’re near each other please let me curl up next to you in bed, wouldn’t be batshit crazy. Kim can't sleep. Chay can't sleep. Somehow this leads to Kim spending his nights in Chay's bed with the Great Wall of Pillows standing firmly between them.

From the Ashes by Water_Nix

Episode 14 canon divergence wherein Kim doesn't leave Hum Bar without Chay, and Gun gets out what he was going to say about Namphueng before Korn has a chance to act against him.

Heiligschennis by scattered_stardust16

Kim’s legs tremble with the effort of holding himself up, his pants and briefs are a mess around his ankles that neither of them care about right now. Not when Kim’s skin contrasts so beautifully against the black shiny polish of the piano he’s lying on. Chay could wax poetically about that contrast for hours. Starting with the way it makes Kim’s skin seem even more golden that it usually does.

Idolistic by ditchlily

Kim has control issues, and likes to seed his fandom with misinformation. Chay is a bnf with an unerring ability to spot the lies. This is a meet cute. Contains: weird courtship rituals, creepy cousins, far too much PDA, and Kim and Chay, teaming up to take on the world and take down family conspiracies.

Kim's Magic Pussy by imdeadlily

Kim wakes up and finds his dick is gone. MIA. Vanished. Displaced. Chay has no issues with this.

Moondrunk by TheCookieOfDoom

Porchay is a werewolf that crosses into vampire territory during his first full moon, an honest mistake that could lead to war. Luckily the vampire he meets cares less about their treaty than he does about the lost, golden-eyed cub stumbling through the forest.

Outside the Frame by just_slightly_chaotic

"So, P'Kim." Chay nonchalantly picks at the food on his plate, glancing at Kim from underneath his eyelashes. "What is the new MV going to be about?" Kim's heart picks up in speed. He wills it to slow down, without success. "I'm a prince who's been forced into an arranged marriage." Chay's head snaps up at Kim, eyes widening. "But I fall in love with a stablehand instead and we run away together." He's pretty sure he sees the world implode behind Chay's eyes. --- Kim doesn't need a social media manager. He's doing perfectly fine. Until Chay comes along. And then... well, he still insists he doesn't need a social media manager. But he does need Chay. (Even if it takes him a while to admit it.) (WIP)

tear out the threat of your love from my skin by booksnchocolate

It's not Porche's fault. Chay tells himself this firmly when it starts. This has nothing at all to do with hia, nothing at all to do with waking up one morning at 17 and finding his older brother firmly gone from his life. It's not Porsche's fault, but that is when it starts. Chay breaks. (please mind the tags on this one)

There Must Be Nine by Discophilia

Porchay Kittisawasd has felt unlucky for his entire life, he just never knew there was a reason. The morning of his 19th birthday, he collapses, victim to a dark generational curse that's somehow connected to Kim, too. Racing, Kim has to find a way to break the curse before Chay is lost forever. (WIP)

when i drive myself my light is found by IsleofSolitude

When Chay bought a car, he didn't realize hwat a great deal he got. It came with leather seats, a full tank of gas, a scowling ghost, and floor mats. Wait, what?

WIKTOBER: Open for Submissions. by wildelydawn

Chay runs an annual fic fest for WIK, a popular singer. Kim, a lurker in his own fandom, becomes an admin. (WIP)

Wikubus by AirgiodSLV

Chay knows that summoning a demon is a bad idea. He knows, okay? There are countless media depictions of what happens when someone decides to bargain with their soul. It never ends well. It's just... There have been a lot of rumors popping up lately in the fan spaces Chay frequents. Comments that suggest Chay's pop music idol Wik might secretly be a demon. Specifically, an incubus.

KIMPORSCHE

Bruises on both my knees by Lorio

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type

TANKHUNCHAY

and my mind came rushing in by filigreesails

Tankhun has never been kissed. He's fine with that - prefers it that way, even. IT's not as if there are many people out there who could meet his eye-wateringly high standards, anyway. So it's fine. Obviously. At least, until Chay comes to him with a proposition, and the prospect of changing the status quo suddenly becomes a lot less hypothetical

[that-gay-gal]

HAPPY LESBIAN DAY

I think. Unless the stranger son the internet are lying to me. Idk I don’t feel like googling it

EVEN SO! Here are my favorite gay ppl (it’s canon guys trust 🙏) (it’s not)

I love girlkissers frfr (I’m not one tho I would never kiss girls 😡😡😡😡) (yes I have a girlfriend why that doesn’t mean anything) (I hope it’s obvious this is a joke LOL)

Anyway enjoy some Rise Capril bc I love them <3