#unless I lied and said she was just a friend. which is shitty enough anyways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phykios · 3 years ago

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honesty and promise me, part 10 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

“If you don’t talk to me, I’m not going to leave you my keys.”

Annabeth looks at Piper from behind the loom, glaring through the threads. “Then you won’t come back to ten bolts of fabric.”

In fairness, it was sort of an empty threat. Piper has all the good stuff: the surger, the embroidery machine, the industrial sewing machines, plus a million sources for fabric that aren’t Annabeth’s stress weaving. Annabeth only has her own shitty sewing machine at home that she’d gotten for Christmas when she was fourteen.

Also, Piper wouldn’t actually lock her out. She needs those fabrics.

“Why don’t you just not go?” Annabeth says. “If you stay, I promise to tell you all the gritty details.” She’s joking, but the second she says it, she’s hit with a strange wave of desperation.

She wants to tell Piper all the gritty details. How she had giggled and smoozed and looked so pretty on Luke’s arm, tattoos and undercut and everything else so carefully concealed. She never wanted to tell Thalia the gritty details. The dirty ones, sure, particularly when the dirty things didn’t involve Thalia’s beloved younger cousin. But she had spent two years, two hard painful years, hiding vast swaths of herself from Thalia.

She thought of the night of the gala, of Thalia telling her family she knew Luke from college. NYU. They’d been actors together.

Annabeth hadn’t been the only one hiding things.

It had stung, in all sorts of ways.

Piper stares, narrowing her eyes. “How dare you tempt me into giving up my creative retreat for gossip.”

Annabeth shrugs. “It’s one or the other.”

The glare at each other, stubborn as all hell.

Piper throws up her hands. “Fine. Just make my fabric and call Leo if you’re having another crisis.”

The truth is, she will tell Piper. Eventually. She knows she will. It will probably be in eight months, when she gets back, when hopefully the shame of her false life and the devastation of losing Percy has lessened, but she will tell her. But eight months is a long time. “I do have other friends, you know.”

“Then call Luke. Or Thalia.”

It takes absolutely everything Annabeth has not to wince at the names.

She would never have told Thalia. Not really. Even things like this, even if it hadn’t involved her. Thalia wasn’t… good at relationship stuff. Not like Piper. And she never knew all of Annabeth’s romantic history--not like Piper did, anyway.

And it wasn’t just romantic relationships.

Annabeth might have been able to share her pain, and share her pain with Thalia, but it had, in many ways, only been a surface level thing. Thalia saw her pain after Annabeth’s mom had rescinded her approval of her life, but she'd taken Annabeth’s silence as the end of the matter, and responded to it by acting out, and arguably drinking too much.

But they never talked about her mother. They never talked about Thalia’s, either, and if there was something Annabeth learned from Hazel’s gala beyond how unfairly handsome Percy was going to look in thirty years, it was that there was a lot going on there.

It is a little hurtful on reflection. Making her feel less close to Thalia, but also less guilty about what she never said. And less willing to accept her reactions.

Her emotions have been all over the place the last few weeks.

Piper notices, because of course Piper notices, but she is an angel, and has known her for a long time, so she doesn’t badger her too much. She also doesn’t mention that Annabeth’s measurements all seem to be off. Not even to say something about beauty at every size or her well publicized efforts for diverse bodies in fashion.

But it was still nice to spend time with her. It felt like the old days, staying up too late making the next thing in fashion, and then passing out together, surrounded by bobbins and bagels, Gossip Girl playing on TV.

It did make Piper’s impending departure that much harder, though.

Two weeks into November, she meets Piper and Leo for dinner, and then sees Piper off to JFK for her eight-month creativity retreat in Oklahoma. “You know, like how you decided you couldn’t have a doorman for creative reasons,” she’d said with a raised eyebrow when Annabeth had questioned the move. Piper likes to treat the last two years of Annabeth’s life like some sort of creative exercise. Her dad had done that too, once, when she bothered to answer his call.

Not that she’s not doing anything other than helping Piper pick stitches, and sewing hemlines Piper is too important to deal with herself. She wishes that earlier estimation had been true.

Since the gala she’s been living on Uber Eats at Piper’s, unless she gets bullied home, in which case it's the same but less varied selection with more meat, so the night out with Piper and Leo the night before Piper’s flight feels like a radical departure from the norm. Even though they just go to dinner.

Which does not stop her from feeling hungover the next morning.

“You had half a glass of wine last night,” Leo points out from the door of her bathroom.

“I remember,” she agrees when it lets up for a moment.

“If you get me sick,” he says, “I’m sending you the doctor's bill.”

“Fair,” she chokes out.

Leo doesn’t hug her goodbye, but he does tell her he hopes she gets better before heading back to Boston.

Annabeth, hugging porcelain, wishes she could go with him.

She was very seriously considering it a few days later. Magnus would take pity on her and Alex was always fun to hang out with. Plus, they’d probably think she was too pathetic to be called on her shit. She only did not make plans to go up to Boston because on Wednesday Luke texted her: Already a shit week, brunch this weekend? And she knew if she ran off to Boston, she wouldn’t leave Magnus and Alex’s guest room until they forced the issue.

But it would be nice to talk to someone in New York City who doesn’t hate her guts, she thought.

So, on Sunday morning, she throws up the wonton soup she’d ordered in for dinner the night before, gurgles some mouthwash, uses the expensive concealer to hide the dark circles, and over does the mascara in hopes that she mostly looks awake.

“You look terrible,” are the first words Luke says to her.

“You have no idea how to talk to women,” she says, slumping down across from him.

“I do,” Luke says, “I just know not to bother with you.” But he frowns at her, taking her in. She’s broken out a Chanel jacket, but she isn’t sure when she last washed these jeans. A real winning combo, her.

“But really,” Luke says, “you look miserable. Is it about what happened on Halloween?”

She shrugs. It isn’t not that. Percy’s words still circle through her head, his sad, defeated face as he bemoaned the, how did he put it? All the rich girls who fucked him to make a point. Made all the worse because she believes them. Probably not the same points as those princesses, but… probably not as different as she would like.

She wonders if Europe is full of very wealthy aristocratic women who are all secretly and shamefully still in love with Percy Jackson. And Frank Zhang.

It makes her feel hollow and nauseous all at once.

But she’s been feeling nauseous for weeks now, so at least it's not a new feeling. If it keeps up, she’s going to have to go to the doctor soon.

She hates going to the doctor. It feels like cheating when she just goes and pays and knows other people can’t. She had once lied to Thalia about getting money for a side gig, and then given her two hundred bucks for a trip to the clinic. Now that Annabeth has spent many hours in his cousin’s apartment, and has heard Nico talk about his yearly income on top of the money his dad gives him, she’s not sure how it came down to her.

“Not really,” Annabeth says, “I mean, I still feel just as terrible, but that’s mostly the problem. I feel sick.”

“It's been three weeks.” Luke looks genuinely concerned. “What’s going on?”

“I’m exhausted and nauseous all the time,” she says, groaning at the thought. She was okay right at this moment, but she knew it could come back at the drop of a hat.

Luke frowned at her. “That’s all?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

“I mean…” He looked at her, his eyes gazing lower, to her body. Luke had never really come on to her in any kind of real way. But she’s not sure he’s ever looked at her with less lust than he does right at that moment.

It is calculating. She’s gained some weight, she knows. But if Luke points it out, she’s going to kick him in the nuts with her steel toed boots. Or maybe make him explain himself and his relationship with Thalia.

“Annabeth,” Luke says, his voice lower, a frown on his face, “please don’t freak out.”

She can feel her heart pick up, just a bit. “That’s a terrible place to start.”

“Have you been feeling… emotionally volatile lately? Having a lot of mood swings?”

She frowns. She’d maybe been crying a little more than normal at sentimental hulu ads, but she always has a soft touch for that kind of thing, and she’s going through some stuff. “I don’t think you should ask a woman that.”

“You are really not going to like my next question, then.” He leans close and says, “Are your… breasts tender?”

“You’re right, I don’t like that question,” Annabeth says, crossing her arms over her chest. Even though they are. “I don’t know why you thought that, and how you knew.”

Luke looks at her with such pity, she feels like she’s suddenly eighteen years old again, and crying on his couch at the end of freshman year about the greatest heartbreak of her life. (It had moved to second place. Lucky it. The boy in that bar had only been theoretical, mostly.)

Luke reaches out, grasping one of her hands, and for a second, Annabeth is sure he is going to tell her that she’s dying.

“Have you considered you might be pregnant?”

She yanks her hand away. “I can’t be pregnant,” she says. “I haven’t had sex in weeks.”

“Have you had your period since then?” Luke asks.

“Not that it's any of your business,” she says, “but I haven’t had one in years.” They do talk about sex sometimes, but periods had long been off the Luke table.

Luke grimaces. “Well, you’ve been sexually active recently…”

“It’s been more than a month!”

“When did you start getting morning sickness?” Luke asks “You were throwing up at Halloween.”

“That wasn’t in the morning,” she snaps, “and I feel fine now.”

“You know morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning,” Luke says. “And with the rest of your symptoms, well--”

She shakes her head, glaring at Luke. His judgement would have been better than his patient mansplaining. “You think I don’t use birth control?”

Luke shrugs a little. “I mean… you’re… not great at things like daily medication. That’s what happened last time. And if a condom broke or you didn’t use one…”

Last time. Oh, last time. Last time had been the worst four hours of her life, in between realizing that she hadn’t been remembering her birth control pills every day, that her period was a few days late, and that she’d definitely been having unprotected sex with that boy in Luke’s cohort who was probably too old for her. Last time had been her having a panic attack on Luke’s Cambridge apartment couch while a very reluctant Leo was sent to buy a pregnancy test or twelve, and Piper reassuring her via speaker phone that it would be ok, while Luke rubbed her back and reminded her to breathe.

“I do remember what happened last time,” she says. “That’s why I got an IUD. Which, if you don’t know, from all your girlfriends' pregnancy scares, has the same failure rate as permanent sterilization, less than one percent. So…” So it would be okay. She couldn’t be pregnant. That’s why it had been okay for Percy and Annabeth to start fucking without a condom.

“When was the last time you got a new one?”

“August.” She says, thinking back. She was almost sure. “I remember because it was before the Eta thing--Leo called me to tell me about the ceremony while I was at the gyno.”

“So you were distracted and being a bad patient when they were trying to put it in?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

But she won’t give Luke, of all people, the satisfaction. “They are professionals. They should know what they’re doing, even if I was on the phone.”

Luke gives her his most disappointed dad face. It is worse than Annabeth’s own father. “You’re the one who always tells me I need to not make people’s jobs harder by being a bad client,” he quietly reminds her.

She fucking hates him.

But despite herself, she pulls out her phone, and begins googling misplaced IUDs and pregnancy.

They haven’t even ordered yet, but Luke is already standing up, probably based on the look on her face as she manages to fight through the dyslexia and figure out what it says. “Come on,” he says, helping her out of her chair, even though she’s not an invalid. She just might be pregnant.

She pushes that thought away as she follows Luke into a cab and then up to his apartment. He makes her some tea and hands her a banana while he goes to get her a pregnancy test, because Luke’s not quite shameless enough to have one at home. She waits for him in a living room straight out of American Psycho and reads up on IUD pregnancy complications online. Which she probably should not have done.

By the time Luke gets back, she is crying again. He’s gotten her 3 tests, which is very considerate of him, as she’s going to need them.

Walking into the bathroom, she’s shaking hard enough that she needs to brace herself on the wall. He lets her use the nice one off his bedroom, though it's not like she needs the jacuzzi tub.

When she’s done peeing, she sets a timer on her phone and sits on Luke’s bed. He tries to speak to her several times. She doesn’t respond.

It isn’t the longest ten minutes of her life, because the truth is, she knows.

She already knows.

When the alarm goes off, she shrugs off Luke’s arm and silently walks back into the bathroom.

Luke got a digital readout, because what else was he going to do. And so she looks at the little screen and just barely processes the word pregnant.

She doesn’t need to take the other tests. She doesn’t need confirmation or to be convinced.

She reaches down and pressed on her lower abdomen, lifting her shirt. She had noticed a slight change. But she’d also changed a lot of her daily routine lately, had eaten a lot more ice cream. Right now, she can’t see any kind of bump, not really, but she can see a shift. Something flat gone fuller.

Annabeth is pregnant.

Annabeth is pregnant with Percy’s baby.

Percy’s baby.

She bursts into tears all over again.

An eternity later, there is a knock on the door.

“Annabeth,” Luke calls, “can I come in?”

She manages to choke out a yes.

Luke finds her sitting on the edge of the tub. He looked at the test still sitting on the counter.

“Let me make a call,” he says, sitting next to her, resting a hand on her arm. “I know a doctor. He can get you a pill or maybe even see you if you need it. Probably today or tomorrow. We can get this all taken care of and then I’ll buy you ice cream and we can watch Legally Blonde, and you can complain about how it doesn’t accurately reflect the admissions process.”

Normally Annabeth would pre-complain, and point out that given Elle’s GPA, LSAT, and extracurricular activities, she would have been a shoe in for her program, and the movie was dismissive of her prior academic achievement. But she’s too busy parsing what Luke is saying.

He squeezes her hand in support. “It's going to be okay,” he says, sweetly.

“No.” She says. But not because it won’t be okay. “No, I’m not going to have an abortion.”

“It's okay,” Luke promises. “I would never judge you. And no one else would ever have to know. This isn’t something you have to do.”

“I know that,” Annabeth says. “I don’t have to do anything.” She detangles her hand from Luke’s and rests it on her stomach, where her uterus waits under her skin. “I want to do this.”

Luke looks at her hand. “Poseidon Olympianides’ son?” he asks. “That’s the father?”

She nods.

Blowing out a breath through his teeth, he sighs. “Well, you’ll be able to get some good child support out of him at least. That family is loaded.”

“Don’t say that,” she nearly screams, and Luke actually jerks back a little. “He doesn’t have any money. He’s his dad’s bastard kid,” she says, feeling a little bad about revealing his family history, but knowing that the word would spark something in Luke. “I don’t know if I’m even going to tell him.”

It feels like something cheap and shallow, trapping a man with a lie, then a baby.

She’s still crying and tentatively, Luke reaches out and wraps his arms around her, pulls her to him.

“Come on,” he says, pulling her up. “You still need ice cream and a movie.”

Annabeth cries. And she doesn’t fight him, but it feels so strange. Half way through her Caramel Sutra and the Legally Blonde proshot, she realizes what’s different.

For the first time since Percy walked out of her apartment without a good-bye kiss, Annabeth Chase is happy.

She’s pregnant with Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s going to have Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s not sure if she’s ever heard anything as wonderful in her entire life.

And if she’s going to be worthy of it, worthy of her baby, then she’s going to have to get her shit together.

#my fic #ballet au #pjo #pjo fic #percabeth #percabeth fic #darkmagyk #perseannabeth #goooooooooooooooooooood morning all!

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drwcn · 4 years ago

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maybe after today’s acls training i can finally write that chengqing ER oneshot.

— “Patient male, mid-twenties, motor vehicle collision, eta 3 mins”

— “What no vitals? No GCS? ETA 3 mins? Who’s on the paramedic team?!”

— “No one….Dr. Lu hit someone with her car on her way out of the hospital.”

【A Midnight Conversation in Your Local ER】- Complete

[1]

The night hunt had gone to shits.

That much was undeniable.

Jiang Cheng heard the panicked shout of his disciples just as he saw the array that he had stepped on.

Fuck.

The ghost of an once mediocre demonic cultivator wanna-be was going to bring Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin - the Sandu Shengshou - to meet his maker. The irony of the situation would be laughable, if he wasn’t so irrevocably screwed.

That was his last thought before his entire body was engulfed by a blinding light and the world he knew disappeared.

The ground beneath his feet gave away, weightlessness paralyzing his body though he did not fall. He felt…launched, his body warping and squeezing and stretching, the air sucked from his lungs into the endless black vacuum.

But just like that it was over. Jiang Cheng barely had time to make peace with his death before his feet touch solid earth again.

Or at least….he thought it was earth, this black, tarry hard thing striped with yellow and white. He stared at it dumbly, breathless and disoriented, barely able to react when a loud blare assaulted his senses and his world went blindly bright yet again.

This time there was pain.

Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu, ready to fight, but then his head hit the ground and everything went dark. When he woke up again, an indeterminate amount of time later, he was in a small tube and had a distinct feeling he was not wearing pants, socks or shoes.

How the fuck do you ‘scan’ a cat???

[2]

Method actor. The nurse, from the other side of the curtain, mouthed silently.

“Sir, can you tell me your name.”

“Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wangyin.”

The resident paused, awkwardly contemplating how to continue. “Uh…..which is it? Jiang Cheng or Jiang Wanyin?”

“Jiang Cheng, zi Wanyin.”

“Traditional parents?” The resident tried to crack a joke, but it fell flat. The strange man stared up at him with a blank look in his eyes and a frown that was rapidly deteriorating into a scowl. The resident cleared his throat and cast his eyes back onto his clipboard. “Uh, ahem, just the name on your ID please.”

“My what?"

"Your personal ID….like a driver’s license?”

“Cultivators of the gentry fly on swords or ride horses. We do not rely on carriage valets.”

“Eh… right. Uhm, can you tell me how old you are and what year it is.”

“I’m 39, and the year is jiachen.”

Lu Qi frowned from where she stood by the door, arms crossed, watching her resident and medical student work. 39? He looks like a college student. But he also thinks he can fly, so I guess age is the least of our worries.

“Jiachen.…?”

The M3 fished his phone out from his scrub pocket pocket and typed it in. “Sounds like the ganji system, like an old timey way to record year used in the past.” He whispers clandestinely to the resident.

“….Right. And uh, do you where you are?”

The man scowled at him. “Am I supposed to?”

The resident scribbled something on the chart, and then looked up with a plastered awkward smile. “Well, thank you Mr. Jiang for your patience. Wang Fei here is the medical student on our team. He’s going to stay and ask you a couple more questions if you don’t mind. Afterwards we’ll confer with our attending and the team will be back to see you shortly.”

As he turned away, the R3 grimaced and shared a look with Lu Qi, who was the youngest attending physician in their ER, but was not technically working at the moment and so was not on the case. And technically, as the perpetrator who hit Jiang Cheng with her car, she had a severe conflict of interest.

At least this Jiang Cheng dude didn’t seem keen on pressing personal charges against her for MVA or suing the hospital in general… but that being said…

Yeah, they’re going to need a psych consult.

Unless he’s on acid.

Well… okay, psych consult either way.

[3]

"It’s okay, you can relax.” Jiang Cheng said, waving dismissively at the woman standing by his bedside. “I’m not going to take you to the magistrate for hitting me with your carriage - car. You didn’t mean to, and I just came out of nowhere.”

“....Thank you.”

“You’re not Wen Qing. I know that now. Your name is Lu Qi. You can call off those psychia - psych - psychics - head healers - or whatever, I’m not crazy. It’s not my fault, you just… look so much like someone I used to know."

"Wen Qing.” Lu Qi echoed.

“Yeah. Wen Qing. She was a healer - a doctor - like you, but different.”

“I see. What happened to her?"

"She died. Almost twenty years ago."

"I'm sorry... that's awful.” Lu Qi’s response rolled off her tongue so well, because she had said those word a thousand times during her residency. So much so that it no longer had much meaning to her. Tonight however, she meant what she said. “Were you two close?"

"No, well…yes, maybe. No we weren’t exactly friends if that’s what you’re asking. She...operated on me. Without my consent or knowledge. Took my brother’s golden core and put it in me and then lied with my brother to my face about it. So no we weren’t “close”, but Wen Qing saved my life - well the purpose of it anyway. Saved me from a life of ordinariness.”

Lu Qi did allow herself to dwell too much on what the fuck a “golden core” was, because her gut response was almost instantaneous. “That’s shitty of her.”

She clamped down on her tongue.

God, why did I have to say that? To his face?! He was obviously in love with this Wen Qing person and they were encroaching on some dangerous emotional territories, but Lu Qi swallowed down her caution and plowed on nevertheless. There were things she felt she had to say, and since she’d already hit him with her car, how much worse could this shit get? “What I mean is she shouldn’t have. Not without telling you. Besides...there’s nothing wrong with ordinary.”

Jiang Cheng chuckled bitterly. “Maybe you’re right. Still...she didn’t deserve to die. What her clan did was not her fault.”

Now that threw Lu Qi off. Did this guy...kill her?

Lu Qi half wondered if she stumbled upon a Yakuza-esque member whose psyche finally snapped after years of murder and violence. And yet, he seemed perfectly coherent, no flight of ideas, no tangential thought, no hallucations. Even his delusions seemed...logical.

I must be the one losing, damnit.

Jiang Cheng scratched a little at his chest, as if palpating for the “golden core” that he spoke of. "She saved my life, but when she needed help, I couldn't save her. But, if I were to go back… I can't say I'll choose differently. My clan needed me, my clan who was almost cleansed by hers. No, no I wouldn’t choose differently. I don’t regret my choices, but I am sorry. Sorry to her, sorry to my brother. I'll always be sorry that she died, and that I failed her when she needed me."

Jiang Cheng had no idea why he was telling this stranger any of this, but maybe after twenty years, he was finally ready to address this guilt that he lived with. I mean who else was he supposed to tell? Jin Ling? It was nice, to have that face as an audience, receiving his words of confession.

"She would forgive you."

Lu Qi had no idea why she was offering absolution as if she had authority in this matter, but when she said it, the conviction she felt was so real, it was almost as though some external force was acting through her.

Which was ridiculous of course, but...

"How do you know? You're not her." Jiang Cheng shook his head. “I wouldn’t forgive me.”

"No, but you said she was a physician. So she should know, more than most, that sometimes there is no choosing who gets to live or die."

Jiang Cheng fell quiet at that, and his gaze grew distant. Lu Qi thought perhaps he was no longer seeing her as she was in front of him - white coat, scrubs, stethoscope - but someone entirely different. The tension he held in his shoulders slowly eased, and he sighed. In the silence that stretched between them, Lu Qi hoped that this strange man with his strange past could find a sliver of peace.

[4]

— Did you love her?

— I thought so, foolishly, but maybe I didn’t. Even if I did, it was not well enough.

— Do you love her still?

— No... I don’t know. It’s been too long...but sometimes, late at night when Lotus Pier is quiet, I think I do.

...

— Are you ashamed of it?

...

— No. No I’m not.

[5]

The patient known as Jiang Cheng left AMA, that is, against medical advice. It was the term they used sometimes for people who just up and leave without informing the team.

Lu Qi had gone out to check on his labs, which came back with bonker numbers (I mean really, a hemoglobin of 455, sodium of 200, and a HCO3 of like...3?), but Jiang Cheng was gone from Bay 6 when she returned. The nurse made the overhead page, a code yellow was called, but four hours later, Lu Qi was ready to admit that she was never going to see this Jiang Cheng ever again.

Somehow, she was okay with that. She had said what needed to be said.

Her chief had given her a call on her cell and told her to go home and sleep. The guy didn’t look like he was gonna press charges, let’s count our blessings and move on. But the night had just been too damn strange that Lu Qi was all wired up from it and couldn’t possibly fall asleep. She had handover at 10 anyway. There was a change of clothes and toiletries in her bag. She could always take a shower in the anesthesia staff’s on call room and sleep until then.

Dr. Sun was the anesthesia staff on-call tonight and was currently stuck in trauma OR. They were buddies since medschool; she’d understand.

Sighing, Lu Qi took a seat on the bench across from the bougie cafe in the lobby of the hospital. At this hour, it was the only one still open in the entire facility. The drinks they sold cost an arm and a leg, but Lu Qi needed the pick-me-up after the night she had.

As she nursed the last bit of her matcha latte, two bickering voices pulled her attention to the front entrance.

“Aiyo, A-Liang I already said I’m fine! I don’t need to be here!”

“Fuck out of here with that bullshit, Chen Zhaoxi. You fell off the fucking roof! If Wu Kun hadn’t called me, you’d have gone on -”

It was him! Lu Qi shot up. It was Jiang Cheng!

But no...no it wasn’t him. The well-dressed man dragging the second man (dressed in red pajamas) into the hospital was not Jiang Cheng. He had the same face - chiselled, handsome, scowling - but it wasn’t him. For one, his hair was trimmed short and neat, unlike Jiang Cheng who looked like he walked straight out of a BL xianxia tv drama. Secondly, his face was softer, eyes younger, and he couldn’t have been older than Lu Qi herself in her early thirties.

“I was just trying to get to the litter of kittens trapped -”

“Yes, yes, and it was very heroic and I’m sure it would’ve made Wu Kun very horny, and you morons probably would’ve fucked once he got home had you not made a valiant attempt at breaking your neck -”

“Excuse me,” the security guard manning the information desk chastised sharply. “It’s 4am. This is a hospital! Lower your voices, sirs.”

“Sorry.” The men apologized sheepishly.

Then, A-Liang, Jiang Cheng’s doubleganger asked, “Could you please direct us to the ER? This is my brother, he fell off a roof.”

Lu Bin had no idea what possessed her to interject. “I can take you there.”

All eyes fell on her. She walked towards them, heart pounding.

This can’t be happening, this kind of thing just can’t happen...

A-Liang’s face broke into a grateful smile. “Thank you, Miss -” Then his gaze trailed to her badge, and he corrected himself, “Dr. Lu. I’m Shen Liang. This is my brother Chen Zhaoxi. I think he fractured...well multiple things, please help him.”

“Of course, come with me. Let’s get him a wheelchair. If he fractured is leg, he probably shouldn’t be walking.”

“I didn’t fracture -”

“You, you shut up.” Shen Liang rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He can lose three out of four limbs and say ‘ t’s but a flesh wound’.”

Lu Qi couldn’t help but chuckle as she put an arm under the complaining Chen Zhaoxi and helped him towards the wheelchair.

Shen Liang’s smile widened.

[Extra]

“Holy shit, took you long enough!”

When Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui finally dragged Jiang Cheng to their portal site, Jiang Cheng realized that the transportation talisman had created a channel through realities between what looked like two metal garbage dumpsters in a back alley behind a food establishment marked by giant yellow bunny ears.

Standing guard there, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen were each munching on a strange layered bread and holding tall drinks contained in...what was it called again? Right. Styrofoam.

“What is that?” Jin Ling wrinkled is nose at it. Brat.

“It’s a Big Mac.” Replied Lan Jingyi as if Jin Ling was stupid. “And this is a milk shake.”

Jin Ling scowled. “I said the bag of gold I gave you was for emergencies.”

“Yeah but we were hungry.” Ouyang Zizhen defended. He neglected to tell them that the cashier had refused to accept the gold and instead asked for “cash” or “card”, neither of which they had, so Zizhen used a liiiiil confounding talisman he learned from Wei Wuxian. They did leave more than enough gold though...and that ought to cover the restaurant’s cost for their “burger”lary . Reaching into the brown paper bag he held under one arm, Zizhen pulled out a little box that opened to show pieces of... something. “These are chicken nuggets. They’re delicious! Try one! They’re really good with this sauce....hold on...”

Lan Sizhui sighed. “We don’t have time for this. The portal will close soon. Let’s get Jiang-zongzhu home and we can sample these exotic food later.”

The boys agreed.

Jiang Cheng shook his head and huffed.

#cql #the untamed #chengqing #wen qing #jiang cheng #a midnight conversation in your local er #cql ficlet #corie fics

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lazarettta · 4 years ago

Text

I’m Not A Witch

Characters ( Cordelia Goode, Misty Day, and Reader)

Word Count 3k

Warnings (Minor drug use 💨)

You don’t have a bad background, in fact your life is pretty cushy but not without its problems namely...you being able to do things with your mind but you have no control. Thankfully, Cordelia and Misty scoop you up before you head down a path of self-destruction. Platonic af but there could be something if you squint I think 🤔

New Orleans was a world different from New York. A world different. You were born and raised in New York—it was your whole life, and you never really thought about a life outside of the city that never slept. Why would you want to leave the city that everyone wanted to be apart of? Well that's what you thought for twenty-three years.

You lived a comfortable life your entire existence, you didn't have to struggle nor were you ever afraid of your future. Your parents always made sure that you were well taken care of, nothing but the best for you and you knew how fortunate you were especially being a foster kid. You were born to Mr and Mrs Hawthorne, a wealthy couple who couldn't have a baby of their own so they went with the next best thing that money could afford—surrogacy.

It had taken your parents months to find the perfect candidate as Mr. Hawthorne, your father, would use his own semen (yikes dad). But that was all that you knew, you had no idea the identity of the woman they hired to carry you for nine months other than she was the nicest young woman your mother has ever met.

It wasn't a topic that could've been avoided as you got older and noticed that your complexion was a few shades more than theirs. But thankfully your parents were always open and honest with you, even at a young age. Of course you had a nanny growing up, both of your parents were lawyers—their time was always stretched far too thin, but you weren't a neglected child nor were you ungrateful and they loved you so much for it.

Which was why you never told them about your newfound skill when you hit your sweet sixteen—everyone thought the candle that nearly melted your entire birthday cake was a fluke incident but you knew that it wasn't. You had felt the heat of the fire as you watched your father set the tip of the match against the wick of the candle. For a brief moment you wondered what would've happened to your cake if it was on fire, you thought it would look pretty badass. You hadn't exactly expected it to actually happen! But it did and thankfully no one was injured just thoroughly freaked out.

Your parents laughed it off, quite nervously, but you never said anything about it to them and they never really brought it up again anyway. Unbeknownst to them, of course they were always at work and the penthouse housekeeper wasn't required twenty-four seven, you were able to fool around with your newfound hobby with relative peace in your room. Well until you nearly set the place on fire twice in the same month, after that you just went to the roof and googled meditation practices on google.

You only ever couldn't control the fire unless you were an emotional wreck. For two years, you kept that secret to yourself and if you didn't have friends before you sure as shit didn't then. No one really liked you anyway, your parents were richer than most of everyone else's and your parents actually gave a damn about you and not just about how you were going to make them look in the future.

They tried to bully you about your height but you weren't a punk, so that was short lived. Students envied you but that was okay. They didn't have anything to offer you, that's what your mom always told you anyway. Besides there was nothing wrong with being short, it just meant you had more to offer. Of course.

When you turned eighteen, you discovered something else about yourself...and you weren't exactly sure what you wanted to call it but you could always tell if someone was lying to you if you listened hard enough.

You weren't sure how it worked but you never took any real notice to it until your ex girlfriend, and your only girlfriend, lied to you and you felt a bit of a...you wouldn't say it was a jolt but your insides felt the same type of tingle when your foot fell asleep or something.

That's how you figured out your first love (high school, right?) was cheating on you...you hadn't dated anyone after that. How could you when all people did was lie?

And the minute they learned that you were a Hawthorne...it was done. You saved yourself the heartache and just focused on the future. You managed to graduate college a year early and you didn't go to jail for arson, yet.

The older you got and the more you learned about how shitty people could be, meditation and yoga stopped working so well for you and you ended up joining a gym. No martial arts or anything like that, you didn't have the time for it, but you hired a trainer and five days a week that’s what kept you grounded.

Presently...

You weren't currently working, well not anymore. Less than a month ago you were a nurse at Mercy hospital as a CRNA. It was a late night already and an unruly patient was brought in for a gunshot wound. Somehow he managed to slip out of his bonds and before anyone could stop him, the bastard had his hands around your throat and you'd...you just fucking panicked and he ending up burning to death from the inside.

No one knew how it happened they couldn't even prove that you had even done anything, but you were fired on the spot anyway...and your parents had to shovel out a good amount of money and blackmail to keep your name from the papers.

You hadn't searched for a job after that, what was the point? Your name may not have been dragged through the papers but you sure as hell weren't gonna be working at any hospital anytime soon. At least...not in Manhattan.

But after what happened...what you did to that man, the cruelty of it? Why would you? You'd been high strung after that and you picked up a habit you ditched after you left college.

It just helped you regulate your emotions better and to think, plus you just liked the way it made you feel. It also helped with the nightmares that would plague you every night, and the scene was always the same. He was always on top of you screaming to a pain too gruesome for words.

Your parents tried therapy but you were stubborn besides your medicine was better than theirs anyway.

Your father didn't know about your newfound hobby but your mom did, and she wasn't going to tell him either. She was just thankful that it wasn't crack or cocaine—she could deal with her daughter turning into a weed connoisseur. But she would not support an unproductive one.

That was exactly why she was on her way back into the city to your penthouse with two guests in tow. Doing her best not to cry in front of these two women who have proven to her that they could not only help you but take care of you in a way that she couldn't.

But she knew when your birthday cake went up in flames...she had been watching you the entire time, and in that moment...every warning and tale that your birth mother told her came to light. But she made a promise to love you like you were her own, because you were, and she'd love every freaky little tic that came with you.

As a mother it was hard for your mom to accept that this wasn’t something that she could do for you. But she was woman enough not to stand in the way of her daughter's success...whatever it was that you chose to do.

You were sitting out on your balcony wearing your black robe with nothing else on except a pair of panties and your Prince tank top that you should've gotten rid of years ago but it was still one of your favorite—holes and all. You'd been blissfully in your own little world for a few hours now with your iPad sitting in your lap with some Stevie Nicks playing in the background over the speakers coming from inside your penthouse.

It was just the right volume that it wasn't too loud but the city noises didn't drown it out either. You'd just polished off your fourth bowl, something grape...whatever, you were just enjoying your time. You went back to drawing, head bopping softly and you were so lost in your own little world you didn't realize that you were alone in your penthouse. There were three different sets of high heels that you missed though you just about jumped out of your skin when your mother came into view via your peripherals.

“Oh!” you smiled bright and wide, eyes a tad bit low, “Hey mom, what are you...um...who are they?” you sat up quickly, unaware that your robe fell open with the movement and your mom nearly facepalmed. You set your tablet aside, doing a double take at the blonde with the curly hair that was lowkey dancing to Fleetwood playing in the background. You looked at your mom, your smile morphing into a confused frown, “Mom?”

“Sweetheart,” your mom soothed back a long strand of dark hair and cleared her throat softly which worried you even more because your mom was never one to be nervous, ever, “This is Cordelia Goode and Misty Day.”

Subconsciously you reached into your robes pocket and pulled out a bright orange stress ball you got from the bodega for a whopping five bucks. (You had to have been high as fuck not to argue that price down but whatever.) You squeezed it softly, licking your dry lips, “Um...hi? Did I do something to you guys too? If I did I'm so sorry, I—”

“No, baby, no,” your mother sat next to you, quickly fixing your robe and your messy hair and Cordelia's brown eyes shot to Misty, who had immediately stopped dancing, “Just...are you hungry? Orange juice maybe?”

“Mrs. Hawthorne?” you looked up at the blonde woman came up behind your mother with a soft smile, “If I may, in my experience it is always better to just rip it off just like a band-aid.”

“Rip what off?” you pulled away from your mom, scooting away and hated seeing that hurt look on her face but there was something going on, you were not that paranoid.

“Honey, this is just a little intervention and—”

Laughing, you scooted away from your mom again, “What? Mom, it’s just pot—”

Your mom waved away your comment with a roll of her eyes, “Honey, I don’t care about the grass—”

“Then what…”

“Zip!”

You quickly shut your mouth when your mom said that and have you that look, it was one you knew quite well growing up. It baffled you how it was still working on you.

Your mom sighed, “It's just for a little while and I'll make sure that this place is well cared for.”

“Wait what?! You're sending me away??”

“(Y/n).” the blonde, Cordelia, pulled your attention from your mom who was crying, Cordelia sat on the edge of your coffee table carefully while Misty continued to hover in the background curiously, but prepared in case you got jumpy, “We just want to help you, okay? We're not here to kidnap you or harm you in any way.”

“I can't be helped,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes even as the tears spilled over, “I—I don't know what you think you know, Miss Goode but...”

“I know quite a bit, (Y/n),” Cordelia held out her hand and suddenly your stash box flew past your head making you flinch but Cordelia caught it just fine and you stared at her wide eyed, “You and I? We aren't so different and at Miss Robichaux's academy for exceptional young ladies...we teach young witches such as yourself how to survive in the modern world.”

“Witches? You think I'm a witch? No way, mom c'mon...the...the stash box trick was cool and all, but witches? Mom! Mom please, you're not buying this are you?” but even as you questioned it, you knew that they were telling the truth and that's what scared you the most. “How do you know they're not trying to use this for your money?”

“We're not, I promise! We don't need your family's money, (Y/n). All we want is to help you.”

“Listen to her, honey, this is for your benefit, okay? And...these women are very nice people, so don't give them trouble, not that you would, right?”

You looked over your mothers shoulder at Misty, the woman offering you a smile and a playful wink.

You exhaled heavily, your eyes sliding back to your mom, “...and you're not getting rid of me right? Because of...what I can do? Or what I've done?”

“No! Absolutely not, it was an accident! If anything it was the faulty bonds they put that monster in! Honestly,” your mother huffed, “your father and I still have half a mind about suing that hospital…”

“But not without having to drag my name through the mud.” You mumbled, sighing heavily.

“I love you, (Y/n), so damn much. Yes, we would’ve gotten millions but you’re worth much more to your father and I, don't you forget that,” Your mom reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing gently before standing and quickly gathering her Prada bag, “and...don't worry about your father with all of this. I'll break this to him myself but baby...promise me that you will try?”

You bit your bottom lip, nodding slowly and holding her hand tighter almost painfully so before surging up and hugging your bother tight, and even though she was in high heels your slight frame made it easy for her to catch most of your weight. She hugged you back just as fiercely, kissing your forehead twice before letting you go.

“And here—for emergencies and whatever you might need, honey.” your mom pushed her black card into your trembling hands, the weight of it denser than you expected it to be and it made you laugh, of course your mom would shove money at you. It was her love language, you stopped questioning it a very long time ago but you never took advantage of it. “I love you so so much.”

Cordelia watched the entire exchange silently with an ever curious eye, even daring to risk raising an eyebrow when she saw your mom push that unmarked card into your hands before skirting off. Your mom reminded her a bit of her own mother...money was Fiona’s love language as well.

But your mom was much more pleasant, her love for you blossomed like a rose rather than a thorn bush.

You exhaled shakily, hands fidgeting in front of you, “I...what now?”

“Now we get down to business,” Misty smiled at you, stepping into the space your mom once occupied and took your hands in both of her own, “Your mama is resourceful, she tracked us down and everything, but it wasn't like it was all that hard since Delia and I were lookin' for you too.”

“You...you were?” you looked over your shoulder at Cordelia still sitting on your coffee table, “Why?”

“We heard about what happened to the man at the hospital and even though you weren't named, it wasn't that hard to track you down and we happened to cross paths with your mother.”

“Figures...” you nodded, sniffling again and you quickly pulled your hands from Misty when a breeze hit your skin—reminding you how indecent you were among two strangers.

You fixed your robe again and quickly sat down and Misty followed you down, bouncing slightly almost a little too close—your high was completely worn off at this point, “Earlier you said that you were helping wit...people like me live in the modern world? What?”

“Yes, we help witches such as yourself avoid situations like the one you currently experienced.”

You raised an eyebrow at her wording and she smiled at you when you met her eyes. You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest—appearing unbothered even if you were still sniffling, damn. Your mood swings were going to give you whiplash one of these days.

“You don’t really expect me to go around calling myself a witch do you?”

Cordelia’s eyes narrowed a fraction, “What I expect, (Y/n), is for you to actually make an attempt. There will be rules and the sooner you drop the attitude, the easier this will be for all of us—you especially.”

You opened your mouth to argue back but then you quickly shut your mouth, your mom's words bouncing around in your head to stop causing trouble. Along with the promise you made to her.

Misty was sitting still next to you, and though you couldn’t see it—her eyes were darting back and forth between you and Cordelia with a bit of a grin trying to break free.

“Right, and um where is this school of yours again? If I even agree to this at all?”

Cordelia gave you a look that you couldn't really decipher, “Miss Robichaux's academy is in California.”

Your eyes flew back to hers immediately, “I don't wanna go around calling you a liar Miss Goode, I only just met you...but you and I both know that's not true.”

“Ah, so it is true...you do have some form divination.”

She led you right into a trap and you couldn’t even be annoyed by that, Cordelia was proving to be a lot more than she appeared. “Divination? What is that? Is there anything my mom didn't tell you?”

“Well, she didn't tell us ya favorite food.” Misty supplied unhelpfully, attempting to break the building tension with poor humor. And you couldn't hold back your smile, deciding that you liked her a lot.

“You're a walking lie detector, dear. That's quite handy in today's world.”

Misty chuckled before one of her arms came around your shoulders, “Oh yes, and Madison is just gonna love you!”

“Don't worry, you’ll fit right in.” Cordelia chuckled, still sitting directly across from you and there was a bit of a twinkle in her brown eyes, she knew you were going to be trouble and that she would have to keep a close eye on you. But if there was one thing that Cordelia enjoyed, it was a challenge.

I dunno what I’m doing for real lol it’s 1am and I’m in my garage on a tablet 😅😅I thought this was fun

#ahs coven #cordelia goode #misty day #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode x misty day #sarah paulson #ahs coven imagine #american horror story #lily rabe #ahs cordelia #ahs misty

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years ago

Text

for @magellan-88!

When Hawkins’ class of ‘85 graduated high school, Billy was the first to take off, halfway back to San Francisco before the caps even touched the ground.

Everyone gave hats off to him for being one of the few who’d ever make it out of the dying ghost town that was Hawkins, but as much as he hated that place and all its confines, he felt like he had left behind a lot.

The job wasn’t what he really wanted to do anyways, his house, when he was still staying there, was cramped, and after only a couple of months, the town had no sentimental value to him. The only thing he couldn’t help but feel bad about ditching, and that amounted to a whole lot of regret on his part, were the people.

Not the girls who swooned over him or the half made friendships he’d been neglecting since they formed anyways either, but he had his little sister, to whom he promised he’d drop everything and come back the second she said the word, and he also had Steve.

His relationship with Steve was a little blurrier, the two of them had gotten to the point of calling each other friends just after Christmas, best friends by the time Neil kicked Billy out for nothing but turning the big one-eight in april, and he was left crashing on the Harrington’s designer couch until he was free to leave Hawkins.

That’s where Steve would’ve ended the story at least, but as for Billy, he’d fallen ass over tits in love for his best friend in a matter of a smoldering gaze at a Halloween party.

Of all the many things he regrets about his short time in that cramped little town, he’d have to say the biggest was not having worked up the courage to fess up about his little crush before he skipped town to live it up more than two thousand miles away, mostly because that had been the only of his mistake he never took any time to resolve.

So it was that when Steve, apparently completely forgetting about the existence of time zones, calls him up at five in the morning to ask if he could come out to visit his new place in the golden state in a few weeks, Billy senses a pretty big opportunity.

What Steve had always done when Billy was staying at his place was cover the couch in the upstairs foyer, as he was made to call it, in layers of spare pillows and blankets, making it up like a bed for him. If he could, he would’ve let him have the guest bedroom, but that was out of the question when every other night that Steve’s parents were home, they argued and John had to take the spare.

But Billy doesn’t have a spare room, and he isn’t too sure about doing the same for Steve in his new apartment.

The problem isn’t that he can't, he has a brand new couch, bought from an actual furniture store instead of an old busted up one at thrift (or that he brought in off the curb and said was bought at thrift) and it’s even got a pull out to make things easier. He’d spent too many dozens of nights on Steve’s couch, staring up at the way high ceiling and wishing he had the guts to make a move, that he doesn’t think his yearning heart can take being just down the hall from him again, especially not with the promise that in a few weeks time, there’d be that vast, looming space between them again.

So he’s settled on it, Steve is going to sleep in his bed. He’s just gotta find a way to get him there, and that’s simple enough, he just has to pretend there’s nowhere else for him to sleep.

Now, he’ll admit that his plan on selling that idea is shaky at best, but Steve is bone tired when he gets there a few days later, his first time flying and dealing with jet lag taking everything he has out of him, so really, he’s looking to crash as soon as they get up to Billy’s apartment.

Only, he notices immediately that the couch isn’t set up like a bed like he usually would have done it up, and he looks to Billy with a slight tilt of his head, confusion in those big puppy-dog eyes.

So Billy answers, trying not to be too smug about it, “Sorry man, couch is out of the question.”

“Why?” Steve asks, then thinks better of it, knowing Billy’s history, “Actually, hold that thought, I don’t think I want to know.”

That makes Billy laugh, makes him remember why he fell in love with Steve in the first place too, “Nothing gross this time, s’just brand new. Can’t have you drooling all over the furniture that cost me two months of rent.”

“Right. So.. where am I going to sleep then?”

“I’ve got a bed, Steve.”

“Well duh, but I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed.”

“I didn’t say that. You’re not the only one with a queen sized now. I got room for two.”

“But.. is that going to be weird?” Steve asks, shifting on his feet, like the suggestion makes him uncomfortable, and Billy almost backs out then, lies about how he was just messing around to test Steve, but he sticks to his guns, saying, “Only if you make it weird. Don’t have much of a choice anyhow, unless you want to sleep in the bathtub.”

Steve insists on arguing though, “What’s wrong with sleeping on the floor?”

“Dude, this is a shitty ass apartment. I live here and I don’t even know half of the nasty shit that’s been on this floor.”

“Fine, just as long as I have a place to sleep.” Steve half-mumbles, cut off by a yawn, obviously too tired to keep pressing the issue.

He saunters off to Billy’s room not too long after that, not even changing out of his clothes before he’s throwing himself face down in his bed, leaving Billy to do his entire nighttime routine while Steve makes himself right at home, assuming that after brushing his teeth and putting his hair up, changing out of his jeans and triple checking that the doors and windows were locked tight, that’d be enough time for Steve to fall asleep.

That however, does not happen to be the case.

Billy knew from sleeping just down the hall from Steve’s bedroom that he snored like a motherfucker, and from the times he had fallen asleep on the basketball bus after a game that Steve never stopped moving in his sleep, but he was truly not prepared for how difficult it was for Steve to get to sleep in the first place.

He understands it, he remembers how hard it had been trying to relax in the silence that surrounded the country, and since that was all Steve was used to, it wasn’t exactly a surprise that the sounds of the city were hard for him to tune out and just sleep.

What he doesn’t understand is how Steve doesn’t wear himself out tossing and turning, and after at least an hour of it, Billy’s got to wonder if this is a princess and the pea type situation, some messed up spring in his mattress making this arrangement not proper for the royalty at his side.

Billy can tell he wants to talk, from the way he keeps feeling Steve’s eyes on his back, the tapping of his fingers against the headboard, which, if they got to talking he might not even need part two of his plan, but Steve doesn’t ever say anything just sighs with every chime on the clock, another hour he can’t get to sleep.

It isn’t until three in the morning rolls around that Steve finally conks out, Billy himself still barely awake enough to shoot his shot, draping himself over Steve and pulling him close before he has a chance to roll over onto his front again, falling asleep with his crush in his arms.

~~~~

The sun’s not up yet, and the clock’s too blurry to say exactly what time it is when Steve wakes up again, realizing after a few minutes that he’s hot as hell, and didn’t immediately start tossing and turning again, which, once he’s actually woken up enough to think, he discovers that the only reason that is is because Billy is pressed against his back, his arm thrown over his side, spooning him and basically keeping him held there in place.

Steve at first tries not to think about it, the whole, sleeping in the same bed as the person he deliberately never did that with to avoid facing his feeling, and just get comfortable with Billy all cuddled up to him, but he’s a front sleeper, and Billy is fucking hot in more ways than one, so when it’s evident that’s not going to work, he clears his throat, announcing into the silence, “You’re smotherin’ me, Bill.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath behind him, like Billy had just woken up, and a soft little hum of a question, “Hm?”

“You’re like, on top of me, man.” Steve informs him, like he didn’t notice he was half laying on him, but Billy answers bluntly, voice all tired and scratchy, “Don’t care.”

That sort of confuses Steve. He’d been expecting an apology, for Billy to roll over and them to pretend this never happened in the morning, and it’s got his mind, and his heart, racing a mile a minute, because Billy isn’t the only one with a helpless crush, there’s a reason Steve flew 2,000 miles just to see him.

So he asks, before he can lead himself on, “Just to be clear, is this an accidental thing that only isn’t awkward because we’re friends or is this like, meaningful?”

Billy just hums, pulling him even closer, making Steve feel small, “Go to sleep, Steven.”

“Okay.” He tries to, shoving his arm under the pillows and shifting under Billy’s weight so he’d be comfortable enough, but it’s just nagging at his lovesick brain, “But seriously man, I don’t know what I should take away from this.”

Billy sighs softly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, maybe because he was tired, maybe because Steve was being Steve, “Look, you’re in my bed, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, because of the couch, I thought you were just a cuddler or something.”

“Nope. This was all by design.”

“So then the couch..”

“Was perfectly fine, yeah. Damn thing even has a fold out.”

“You did this on purpose?”

“Thought I made that pretty obvious.”

Steve pouts, sitting up so Billy has to let go of him, “Well if you’re so annoyed with me, I’ll just leave you to get back to sleep.”

“Oh no. It’s much too late for that. I’m thinking we’re going to have to find another way to spend the time now. And, well, since you’re already here...”

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #ej writer #story by ej!#this took ages and I’m really very sorry about that #I hit a huge writers block because of school stress and stuff #but it’s here! and other requests will be being written too!#as well as new chapters on my fics!#basically this is your sign that I’m being productive again!

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lettersinscarlet · 4 years ago

Text

Holidays with Bakugo (Katsuki Bakugo Imagine)

Yo yo yo, Wassup? It’s me! I’m back, finally, and honestly it’s been forever since I’ve got to write, but here I am. I’m so excited that people are liking my blog for my other fandoms, and I hope that I can start doing more things. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I might’ve gotten a little carried away, because this is long. But that’s fine. Anyway, love you guys, and I hope you enjoy this! Yes, my requests are open, just check who I write for and it might take me a while to write it!

———————————————————————

You stood outside of the classroom doors, adjusting your hair, squaring your shoulders, and lastly, putting a quick smile on your face before you walked in the door. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but you just had to make it one more day before school was let out for holiday.

Honestly, the way it happened still confused you, and it still just didn’t make sense. You’d lived with your aunt ever since you were a little kid. Your parents had gotten in an unfortunate accident, and so she’d stepped up to take care of you, and it had been that way for as long as you could remember. She was just in the kitchen, nothing out of the ordinary, when you heard her collapse to the floor from the other room. Apparently, she’d had a heart attack. Currently, she was in the hospital, but she was still in the intensive care unit, and things weren’t looking all that great. There was some type of complication the doctor’s couldn’t figure out, and she was currently hooked up to a life support machine. No one at school knew just yet, but you just had to make it one more day before you could go home and not have to worry about people feeling bad for you. It didn’t really help that it was the holiday season either.

You strode into the classroom, stopping to make some brief conversation with your friends, before you slipped into your seat. From the row in front of you, a familiar blonde looked over his shoulder as you sat down.

“You’re later than usual, dumbass. Almost thought you weren’t coming,” he muttered before turning back to the front. You stuck your tongue out, not that he could see, but then you just went back to getting your stuff ready for the day.

Since Bakugo had been in the seat in front of you from the first day, you’d eventually established a connection because you always had to ask him to move his head so you could copy down notes. At this point, he’d learned to duck a little so you could actually see, but sometimes when he wanted to annoy you, he’d be obstinate about not moving. It was aggravating, so you’d just throw a spare pen at the back of his head as your attempt to get him to move. It worked most of the time.

The day passed rather uneventfully, which was good for you. Since school was about to let out for break, it’s not like your teachers were trying to overload you with work. Most classes were pretty relaxed, or working with your quirks some of you didn’t have another plan. This worked out well for you, because it meant you didn’t have to really focus, and your mind was free to wander, most of the time drifting back to your aunt. You wondered how she was doing, if she was showing any signs of improvement, and things like that. So, when the final bell rang for the day, it surprised you and snapped you out of your thoughts.

The class soon erupted into chatter, and from what you could hear of it, everyone was talking about what they were going to do over the break. You swore you could hear Denki already planning a big snowball fight with people in the class, and it made you smile a little. You just hoped that no one would ask you what you planned to do, because you truly didn’t feel like telling anyone you’d be spending most of your time at the hospital with your aunt.

And you nearly made it out the door, before a certain green haired boy stopped you.

“(Y/N)!” he called, a bright smile on his face. You were quick to smile back, making a little conversation with him. “So, what are you doing over the break?”

Instead of sighing, you just made your smile a little wider. Sure, it was forced, but you were certain that he wouldn’t notice. “I don’t have a lot planned, but spending some time with my aunt, doing some last minute decorations, maybe even ice skating,” you answered, hoping that would be enough.

Midoriya just grinned, and he proceeded to ramble about the things he had planned. You made sure to stay engaged in the conversation, and eventually you made your way out the doors. Instantly, that sigh you were holding onto left, and you shook your head. It was only one person, which was better than it could have been, but still, it was just hard to think about. You started walking out of the school building, heading to the gate so you could go home.

“Hey, dumbass!” a familiar voice called, and you stopped in your tracks. Ah, Bakugo. You heard his heavy footsteps coming up from behind you, and you waited until he caught up with you to keep walking. “What took you so long? You know I don’t have all day,” he huffed, tilting his chin up some, taking a side glance at you.

You’d forgotten that you still had the walk home before you’d finally be isolated for a bit. How you could forget, you didn’t know, but you’d been so focused on making it through the day you’d let it slip your mind. Bakugo always walked home with you, and honestly, you couldn’t pin point exactly when. You noticed that you’d taken similar routes, and eventually, you just walked closer together until it was a habit to walk together.

You realized you hadn’t responded yet, and you quickly shook your head, going to postpone the thoughts until you got home. It was just a walk, you could last. “Oh, I was just testing to see how long you’d wait for me. Just as I predicted, you stayed like a loyal puppy,” you snickered, smirking at him. Instantly, he was indignant, attempting to huff out a response, but it was just a disgruntled noise instead. You laughed, and you both started walking again and acting like usual.

The conversation seemed pretty normal on your end, and you actually thought you were doing pretty well. What you didn’t realize is that Bakugo knew something was up before you’d officially left school grounds. He was more observant than you liked to give him credit for, at least, he could be if he tried, and he did attempt it. He noticed your responses were either delayed or distracted, and you didn’t make fun of him nearly half as much as you used to. He was even just a little hesitant to make fun of you, and he was even careful about the names he called you. He alternated between nicknames, your name, and then your full name, and none of it really seemed to get a rise out of you. His expression had turned methodical as he tried to piece this together. He knew that break was coming up, and everyone was pretty excited. Hell, even he was looking forward to some of the little traditions he had, not like he would admit it. Bakugo knew some about your situation, because you talked about your aunt a lot, so why weren’t you acting like yourself?

He made up his mind to test his theory. He waited until it had been quiet for a moment, and then he called your name. “(Y/N),” he said, his voice a bit stern. You, of course, were zoned out. You were focusing on how long until you made it to your doorstep, and it was a little bit away. Just had to make it a little further. “(Y/N),” he repeated, agitation slipping into his voice. Still, no response. “(Y/N)!” he yelled, this time reaching over and lightly pushing your arm. Not enough to make you fall, but enough for you to realize he was talking to you.

Your head snapped over to him, and then it hit you that you had not been paying attention, at least for the last five minutes. But you can’t just admit that, so instead, a look of annoyance was placed on your face. “What do you want, Boom Boy?” you snarked.

“Ah, finally. I’ve got some sort of response from you,” he huffed, his tone clearly exasperated. But hey, at least you’re back to reality now.

“Sorry, but it seems you’re just not interesting enough for me today,” you shrugged, just trying to play it off. Honestly, you felt a little bad, but you couldn’t just say that, not when you’ve got so much going on at the moment.

He stopped for a second, just looking you over. Almost like he was analyzing you. You stopped as well, sighing before you turned to look at him. “That’s bullshit,” he replied, his eyes meeting yours. His expression was more aggravated than angry, but you could still tell that this was bothering him.

“That’s the-“

“It’s bullshit! You’ve been like this all day, so I know it’s not just me. In second period, Pikachu nearly choked on a piece of gum, and you didn’t even seem phased. You barely ate lunch, you haven’t talked to anyone unless it was necessary. You were actually quiet all day, and it was weird. So no, I’m not believing your shitty excuses, so are you going to tell me what’s actually wrong, or are we going to stand here all day?” he finished, glaring at you.

It was an intense standoff, him just waiting for your reaction, and you trying to process how he’d noticed all that. You thought he was just making this up, but the more you thought about it, it seemed like he really had been paying attention.

“So Kaminari almost choked on his gum?” you finally asked, crossing your fingers and hoping you could get out of this. “Sounds like something he does every other day,” you said, adding a little laugh at the end of it. But by the look on his face, you could tell he was not amused. You sighed, a hand going up to mess with your hair, breaking the eye contact. “Can we just not talk about it? It’s no big deal,” you lied, just wanting him to drop the subject.

“So you finally admit that there’s something,” he huffed, a little satisfied that his conclusion had been correct, but he wasn’t willing to just let it go that easily. Because he’s stubborn like that. “Come on. If it’s enough to keep you preoccupied and zoned out for a whole day, clearly it is a big deal,” he argued. He noticed you wouldn’t look at him, and that peeved him, but he’s working with one thing at a time here.

“Bakugo, it’s nothing,” you insisted, forcing your eyes to meet his intense gaze, but you knew they would betray you. Besides, the way he was staring you down, it was like he could see right into your soul. Honestly, it was a little scary.

“No, no it’s not,” he shot back. “Listen, you can lie to that damn nerd, you can lie to shitty hair, but you can’t lie to me,” he said, taking just a step closer. “So just cut the shit and tell me what’s going on so we can fix it.” He started going off, his voice getting increasingly louder as he talked.

This onslaught of words was making your resolve crumble, and it wasn’t too long before you snapped. “It’s my aunt, okay?” you shouted, effectively silencing him. “She’s in the hospital, and she’s not doing great,” you admitted, your voice shaking just slightly as you talked, but you were going to force yourself to finish this. “It happened a week or so ago, and she’s there now. So I’m just trying to get home, because I’m by myself, so that I can go see her,” you finished, your eyes not once leaving his. “Alright. So can we go now?” you asked, not ready to move until he was.

Oh. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that, and it was evident on his face. It took him a moment, but he just nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to walk.

It was dead silent between the two of you, your anger slowly melting to just being upset, and you ducked your head to focus on the concrete and the lines in the sidewalk.

“What time are you going to see her?” he asked, his voice quiet, all traces of his earlier ranting gone.

“What?”

“Your aunt,” he clarified, his tone a bit louder, but you could tell he was trying to be gentle. “What time do you think you’ll go and see her?”

“Oh,” you replied, realizing you hadn’t really thought about that. “I’ll have to check visiting hours, but I’d like to be there as early as possible. And I guess I’ll stay for a few hours, but then I have to come home and make sure everything’s in order,” you answered, trailing off towards the end of it as you rambled. Bakugo just nodded, and he went back to being quiet.

Finally, after what felt like the longest walk home of your life, your doorstep appeared in the distance. Instantly, your body felt relief and wanted to just go in and collapse on the couch. Or the nearest surface, really. Bakugo still remained pretty quiet, right until you got to the front door. He stood there for a second, and you watched, wondering when he was going to leave. He was usually gone by now, and honestly, you just wanted to go inside.

“What time will you be up tomorrow?” he finally spoke up, his eyes focused on a particular spot on your front step. Your brow furrowed, and at the moment of silence, he glanced up, wondering if you’d even heard him.

“I’ll be up at six,” you answered him slowly, the question seeming weird to you. He nodded, and he seemed satisfied. He waved, and then he went down the road. You watched him disappear out of eyesight, and then you unlocked your door, going in and literally flopping on the couch. You’d made it! You let out a sigh, just letting your body be absorbed into the couch, and you slowly fell asleep.

The next morning, your alarm went off, and you sat up, rubbing at your face and starting the waking up process. You got ready, going and brushing your teeth, changing into jeans and then a shirt and jacket, throwing on a hoodie. You didn’t need to look good, just presentable, and you wanted to be quick. You fixed your hair just enough so it didn’t look like you’d rolled out of bed, and then you went to put on your shoes. You were finally ready to go, grabbing your things and your keys, before going outside and waking down.

Waiting further down the sidewalk, there was a familiar head of blonde hair, and you squinted to make sure you were seeing this correctly. You walked up, noticing that this was in fact Katsuki Bakugo, waiting for you at the end of the sidewalk.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, coming to a stop by his side. He looked up when you did, scowling just a little bit.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m coming with you,” he said, his hands in his pockets. You were just confused, because this didn’t make a lot of sense to you.

“Why would you do that?” you asked. You knew he probably had better things to do, so why would he come with you? Just to sit in a room and wait. For hours.

He made a “tch” noise, kicking at the ground. “You don’t need to be by yourself,” he muttered, and you knew damn well he wasn’t going to repeat himself.

“Alright,” you replied slowly, taking a careful look at him. “We have to walk to the subway to ride to the hospital,” you told him. “We’ll probably be there for awhile,” you added.

“I know that, dumbass,” he responded, looking back at you instead of the ground. “If we stand here much longer, you won’t be there as early,” he added, already starting to walk. You were a little stunned, but you followed behind him, catching up after a moment. “Oh, and here,” he grumbled, handing you a brown paper bag. You grabbed it, going and peaking inside the bag. There was one of those mini bottles of water, and a few various snacks. “I figured you might forget to eat, and that’s not good,” he added, returning both of his hands to his pockets.

“You’re right, I did,” you laughed quietly. “Thank you,” you told him, already reaching for the snack that appealed to you most in the bag. He grumbled some sort of response, his face had a light dusting of pink on it, but that could’ve just been from the cold. As you guys walked to the station, you made some regular conversation, and Bakugo was surprisingly quiet. He wasn’t nearly as loud as usual, and he only called you a name once- and he almost apologized for it. It was strange. The ride to the hospital was relatively quiet, too, aside from the times Bakugo would growl when someone got a little too close. It made you laugh some, but the other people were certainly scared.

When you got off, the station was crowded, filled with the sounds of people hurrying to the places they needed to be, loudly talking on phones, people laughing, and some faint Christmas music coming from the speakers. As you stepped onto the platform, it felt like you were surrounded by people, and you started looking at the signs telling you different stairwells and things.

Bakugo stepped off next to you, his head up as he looked for the signs. “Where do we need to go?” he asked, raising his voice enough for you to hear him over the crowds.

“I think it’s... that one,” you said, gesturing to a bigger sign that was a little bit away from the two of you. You tried to move forward, but there was a lot of people, and you hesitated, just trying to see if you could walk through without getting trampled.

Bakugo looked over at you, shaking his head with a little huff. “Come on, dumbass, we don’t have all day,” he grunted, and he quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you behind him. Clearly, Bakugo didn’t care that there were other people, and he was sure that they’d move out of his way before he moved out of theirs. His hand was warm as it held yours, and the contact startled you, and you ended up tripping a little behind him. You regained your footing after a second, stepping close behind him as he pulled you towards the sign, guiding you out.

When you guys made it out of the station, you walked a little more, and you had to tell him which ways to turn. After a bit, he realized that he was still holding your hand, and he cleared his throat, letting go and quickly shoving his hand in his pocket. Your hand was not cold, but you gently put it in your pocket, playing it way more cool than Bakugo was. You could’ve sworn his face was more red than before, but you weren’t going to push it.

Eventually, the two of you made it to the hospital, and that’s when you got quiet. Honestly, you were nervous to go in here. You didn’t know what it would be like, if it would be like the other days when you got no new updates, or if something bad would happen, or if something good would happen. Or if it would just be that painful waiting, and the anticipation was creating knots in your stomach. Instead of dealing with that, you turned to Bakugo, taking a breath and giving him a little smile. “Thanks for walking with me today. I might be here for awhile, so you can go home,” you offered, giving him a small smile.

He stood there for a second, and then he shook his head. “I don’t have anything better to do. Besides, what’s going to happen if you can’t have a big bad body guard get you through the station?” he snickered, giving you one of those little smirks.

It was enough to get you to relax a little, and you sighed, rolling your eyes some. “Whatever you say, Boom Boy, just don’t get mad if we’re here for a few hours,” you warned, turning to go into the hospital.

“I am not Boom Boy!” he snapped, but you couldn’t see the little smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I mean Lord Explosion Murder,” you teased, walking into the building. You just decided to not hear his reply.

You waited in the hospital for hours, the two of you sitting in the waiting room. Neither of you said much, and he could tell that you were deep in thought. You still had those lingering thoughts and questions, and you kept shifting in your seat every few minutes. You let out a sigh, turning so that you were facing Bakugo, rubbing the back of your neck some. “I don’t think anything’s going to happen today,” you admitted, feeling a little bit defeated.

Bakugo glanced over from whatever he’d been looking at, his eyes settling on yours. “Does that mean you’re ready to go? We can stay here for another hour if you want,” he said, and you could see he was actually being sincere.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just go,” you sighed, moving so that you could stand up. He stood up with you, just going to follow you out, walking back to the station.

After you’d made it a little bit away from the hospital, Bakugo cleared his throat, looking at you before staring back at the sidewalk. “Shitty hair told me that him and a few of those other extras are getting together to go to the park, probably to play in the snow or something,” he started. “You can go, if you want. Besides, it’s become boring getting to beat all those losers over and over,” he added, chuckling a little at the end, an arrogant smile coming to his face.

You sat there for a moment, processing the offer. Honestly, you were just surprised. Why was he being so nice to you? It wasn’t really like him. Sure, he’d let you copy his notes before on days you missed or answer a question or two if you didn’t get it the first time, but nothing like this. You shook your head, just hoping it would go away, and you looked over to Bakugo. “Sure, I’d love to go. Just hopefully you don’t cry when I pelt you with a snowball,” you snickered. His face dropped, and he instantly started yelling about how that wasn’t true as you laughed. “Alright alright, don’t blow a fuse,” you chuckled, your smile easing away after a moment. “But there is something I want to know,” you said, gauging his reaction. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

He froze up for just a second, faltering for a brief moment, before he grunted and shoved his hands in his pockets. “What are you talking about, idiot? I’m always like this,” he grumbled, refusing to meet your eyes.

“No, no, because I bet if I told anyone else in class 1-A, they’d-“

“Shut up!” he interrupted, the ends of his ears going slightly red. You stared at him expectantly, and when he caught your eyes, he just sighed. “Listen, I just know- erm- well, you’re-“ he shook his head, gritting his teeth. Figured he might as well just get this out before he couldn’t say anything. “I just didn’t want you to be by yourself!” he blurted, his face flushing as he quickly looked to the concrete below. “I know your aunt means a lot to you because you talk about her all the time, and then hearing about it, I just... didn’t want you to be alone,” he finished, his voice trailing off to be barely a whisper at the end.

You were a bit in shock at the answer, your eyes widening as you took it in. Wow. You were trying to think of something to say, and your voice was quiet, too. “Thank you,” you whispered, not looking at him, either. “It really means a lot to me.”

Neither of you could tell, but you were both blushing as you looked at anywhere but each other. “Whatever, don’t mention it,” he muttered, grabbing his phone. “He says that they’re on their way to the park. Should I say we’re coming now, too?” he asked, risking just a quick glance over to you before staring back at his phone screen.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you answered, clearing your throat a little to make your voice go back to normal. “Can’t wait to get there and win at whatever we’re playing,” you added, mocking some of his arrogance from earlier.

“In your dreams,” he shot back, and he was grinning at his phone as he sent the text.

Going to the park that day was honestly a lot of fun, definitely more fun than you’d expected to have. You and Bakugo had to call your snowball fight a draw, otherwise someone was really about to get injured. You ended up helping turn Denki into a snowman, and you’d laughed as Kirishima used his quirk to sled down a hill at top speed. It had been an amazing day, filled with little moments you’d remember forever.

Bakugo really had meant what he said when he answered your question, because he made sure that you were almost never alone. Some days, he would walk with you to the hospital, and afterwards the two of you would go into the city and walk around, or go see lights somewhere, just doing fun activities. Other days, you would go to the hospital by yourself, but when you came home, Bakugo was always there waiting, most of the time with a few other friends, and you guys would do activities, typically outdoors. Let’s just say you had more than one snowball fight, and at one point, you had to go buy your own sled so you could race as well. You even went ice skating, and that was one of the most chaotic outings you’d ever been on, but it always made you smile. When he wouldn’t go with you, Bakugo would always wait until you had a moment by yourselves to ask if you’d gotten any updates, and he would wish you luck for the next trip. The one thing that never changed was that he was always the one to walk you home whenever it was time you to head back.

Tonight was no exception, even if it was Christmas Eve. You and Bakugo had been laughing, him teasing you a little bit about how your snow fortress had crumbled, and you telling him that it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t have a master’s degree in snow architecture. Your doorstep was soon approaching, and Bakugo walked with you to your front door, watching you grab your key and start to unlock the door.

“You know what tomorrow is, right?” he asked, leaning up against the wall and looking at his feet.

“No, no I don’t,” you deadpanned, but then you looked at him and gave him a smirk, and he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, dumbass,” he muttered, shaking his head. But he had a point, and he wasn’t going to let you distract him from it that easily. “It’s Christmas, which means that I won’t be able to hang out tomorrow,” he said, his voice a little softer.

Your heart sank a little as the realization hit. Honestly, you’d looked forward to all the days he’d come to hang out with you, because it was just extra fun. They always made you smile, and you had forgotten that he’d probably be with his family tomorrow.

“Oh. Well, you didn’t have to just tell me that, you could’ve just texted,” you muttered, going to open the door.

“(Y/N), you didn’t let me finish,” he said, looking up from his feet to see your face. You stopped, because wow, he actually used your name? Must be serious. “I can’t hang out tomorrow afternoon, but if you want... you can come have dinner with me. And my family,” he offered, quickly adding in the last bit. Your heart thudded in your chest, and you met his eyes, seeing how he seemed a little bit anxious. “Of course, that’s only if you want to, and you know the old hag would-“

“I would love to,” you interrupted, a smile quickly forming on your face. You saw he was caught off guard, and it made you smile just a little more. It took him a moment, but he realized you’d actually said yes, and then he could continue.

“O-okay, I can come by to pick you up at six, but who knows if the food will actually be ready by the time we get there,” he said, laughing a little at the end. “And... don’t wear anything too special, it’s just food,” he said, and you took a mental note of that.

“Alright. So you’ll be here at six? I’ll be ready by then,” you assured him.

He grumbled something, his face turning a little bit more pink, but he nodded. “Goodnight, (Y/N),” he said.

“Goodnight, Bakugo,” you replied, grinning as you walked in your house, and immediately started thinking about the next day.

The next morning, you woke up a little extra early, and the first thing you did was go to see your aunt. Today, you planned to stay here for a while, considering you didn’t have anything coming until six. While you waited, your mind was focused on the issue of what you were going to wear, and the more you thought about going, the more your heart began to race.

You had been spending a lot of time with Bakugo, a lot more than usual. It really wasn’t bad, and you had found yourself really enjoying hanging out with him. When he wanted to be, he was sweet. It was also very cute to see him get flustered, just now his face and ears would get all red...

You shook your head, because now certainly wasn’t the time to think about that. You just needed to figure out what you were actually going to wear. There was no need to dress like this was for the red carpet, but would jeans and a t-shirt be enough? Jeans and a nice shirt? Boots? No boots? Would a scarf be cute? Clothes are frustrating to pick out, and you wanted to make sure that your outfit was right.

You left the hospital hours later, and eventually the little thoughts in your mind slowly making a small ball of anxiety settle in your chest. You really just didn’t want to mess tonight up, because it seemed important. All those little what if’s floated around in your head, creating the worst scenarios and things as you walked into the door to your house. Now it was time to get serious about finding clothes.

It took awhile, and you could see it getting darker outside as you finally settled on what you were going to wear. It somehow was the perfect middle between comfortable and fancy, and you were satisfied with how it looked. You fixed your hair, adding any finishing touches you wanted, and you looked yourself over in the mirror. Perfect. When you went to check the clock, you realized that it was pretty close to time for Bakugo to come pick you up. Your heart raced at the thought, and you took a breath to still yourself. Why were you so worked up? It’s just food. With his family. And him. And it’s a really sweet gesture, and he’s-

You shook your head, clearing the thoughts, and then double checking your hair to see if you’d messed it up. No need to overthink things, just relax.

Exactly on time, you heard a knock on your door. It was quick and seemingly impatient, and you grinned a little. Of course that was him. You walked to the door, reaching for you coat and shrugging it on before you opened the door. Bakugo was standing there, and he was fidgeting with his fingers some, but he looked up at you, and for just a fleeting moment there was a quick smile on his face. But he realized what he was doing and he cleared his throat, his eyes quickly flicking over you. “It’s a good thing you’re ready. I thought you might be one of those people that take hours and you were going to be late,” he grumbled.

“Hello to you, too,” you laughed. “Me? Never.” You were electing to ignore the fact that it took forever to actually decide what to wear, because he didn’t need to know that.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, a hint of a smirk coming to his face. “You ready to go?”

You nodded, stepping outside and locking the door behind you after you’d gotten all your things.

“Thanks for inviting me, by the way,” you started, looking at your hands as you began to walk with him towards his house. “I hope your parents don’t mind that I’m sort of crashing,” you trailed off, feeling a little nervous at that. Granted, this was the first time you were really going to his house, different than just dropping off homework or notes when he’d missed things, and you didn’t want to make a bad impression but intruding on their holiday activities.

He tsked, rolling his eyes at your worries. “I already asked the hag, she said it’s fine. Then she said a lot of other stuff I don’t care to remember,” he added, scoffing at the end. You just laughed, shaking your head.

“I mean, I know, but you know I just don’t want them to feel weird because I’m intruding-“ you started rambling, muttering slightly to yourself.

Bakugo had enough, and his eyes flashed a bit brighter when he looked at you. “Shut up, will ya? Starting to sound like that damn nerd,” he shouted. “Don’t worry about it. I promise, they’re not upset you’re going to be here,” he reassured you, and for some reason, his cheeks flushed a bit pink. “Relax,” he muttered, shaking his head some and going down a road.

After that, the rest of the walk was nice. You took his advice, and you tried to calm your nerves. The conversation helped, and you’d tripped a few times from how hard you’d laughed, Bakugo nearly having to catch you, but you were fine. The smile on your face was easy and bright, and Bakugo couldn’t help but stare sometimes. When he would catch himself, he’d quickly glare at anything but you, changing the subject to something else to talk about.

Soon enough, the two of you were in front of Bakugo’s door, and he stopped before he opened it. “Um, so this is my house,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck some.

“Who needs to relax now?” you joked, nudging him a little. He grumbled something at you, and you rolled your eyes. “Are you planning on letting me in? It’s a little cold out here,” you chuckled.

He grumbled something you couldn’t hear, and went to open the door. Instantly, you felt the warm air coming from inside, and you quickly went in, standing in the doorway. You could smell the food, and it put a little smile on your face. It just smelled like Christmas in here, or whatever that was supposed to mean, but it made sense to you in that moment.

You realized Bakugo was just staring at you standing there, and you laughed. You went and took off your coat, going and hanging it on one of the hooks. Bakugo took a second and looked you over, and his face turned red yet again, damn it. He looked away, going and walking in a direction, just expecting you to follow him, which you did.

He was giving a small tour, eventually leading you to the back towards the kitchen and the dining room. When you got there, his mom was cooking in the kitchen, and his dad was seated at the table. They both looked up when they heard the two of you talking, and his mom smiled over at you.

“You must be (Y/N)!” she exclaimed, going over to see you. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Katsuki talks about you-“

“Shut up!” he interrupted, his face just the slightest bit pink. His mom laughed, ruffling his hair a bit and he grimaced.

“Aw, is Katsuki embarrassed?” she cooed, laughing a little. “Anyway, please, call me Mitsuki,” she chuckled, turning back to you.

It was a little strange for you to see Bakugo like this, and it made you smile. You tried not to laugh too much, but you shot him a look letting him know that you weren’t going to let this go any time soon. But you looked back to Mitsuki, grinning. “Nice to meet you, Mitsuki,” you returned, and she chuckled.

“The food will be ready in just a few minutes, so you can go sit down at the table, or Katsuki can show you around some more,” she suggested, turning back to finish up what she was cooking at the moment.

You turned to Bakugo, smirking just a little. “Does that mean I get to see your room?” you asked, your voice a sing-song tone, and you watched him go red again. This man couldn’t catch a break.

“Nope, not doing that,” he answered, steering you in the direction of the table, where his dad was. You smiled in greeting, offering him a small wave.

“So you’re (Y/N),” he mused, laughing after and giving you a warm smile. “You can call me Masaru, and it’s nice to meet you,” he introduced himself, and you nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” you replied, and then you went to take your seat. You sat next to Bakugo, messing with your hands in your lap some. “I want to thank you guys for having me. It... means a lot, and sorry that I’m sort of crashing,” you said, chuckling nervously.

Mitsuki could be heard from the kitchen, and you turned to see her. “That’s alright, we’re glad to have you! Katsuki doesn’t really invite a lot of friends over,” she said, emphasizing the word friends just a touch.

“You really aren’t crashing anything at all,” Masaru added, giving you a gentle smile.

You let out a small breath of relief, a smile of your own stretching across your face. It was good to know that they didn’t seem to hate you and that they seemed to genuinely want you here, and it helped you relax just a touch.

“Told ya,” Bakugo muttered under his breath, and you laughed softly. So maybe he was right.

Mitsuki then came out of the kitchen, bringing out the things she had made for dinner. It smelled really good, and it made a small smile come across your face. Food is a good way to make anyone happy, really. She sat down and everyone started eating, and it was just a little awkward at first. You didn’t really know what to say, and there were a lot of questions about school and the different things that were coming up, tests and whatever. After a little while, you eased into the conversation, the awkwardness going away as you warmed up to the conversation.

You spent hours there, longer than you’d really imagined you would. You’d laughed a lot, and that smile had started to ache on your face. Time had slipped by, and when you happened to glance outside, you realized it was way darker than when you’d first gotten there. Mitsuki seemed to notice, too, because she turned to look at the two of you. “It’s getting pretty late. Katsuki, why don’t you take your friend home?” she suggested. Bakugo grumbled some sort of response, and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

“You’re already home, I’ve got no problem walking myself back,” you suggested, trying not to be more tough me that it already felt like you were.

His face suddenly turned indignant, glaring at you. “What? No! I’ll walk you home,” he stated. He took a second, glancing off to the side before he added, “I always do.” It was your turn to blush slightly, and you heard Masaru chuckle from beside you.

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll be heading home then,” you determined, going to stand up from the table. “Thank you for having me over tonight. It’s been a lot of fun, and it really means a lot to me,” you said, beginning to walk back to the door. Bakugo was following behind you, and it looked like he was having a quick conversation with his mom, surprisingly none of it was yelling.

“It was a pleasure having you for dinner, and I hope that we can see more of you eventually,” Masaru said, giving you a soft smile.

“Yes, please! We’ll have to have you back for dinner some other time,” Mitsuki chimed in. You nodded in agreement, laughing a little. You grabbed your coat from the hook, shrugging it back on, and Bakugo did the same. You waved goodbye to his family, and then you were back outside. It was definitely colder out here than inside, and you pulled your coat tighter around you. You started walking back to your house, and a smile grew on your face.

“That was one of the best dinners I’ve had in forever,” you said, grinning over at him. “Seriously, thank you for inviting me over. Whatever I had planned, it wouldn’t have been as good as this was.”

He was trying his best to be his grumpy self, but when you smiled at him like that, it was just damn near impossible. He gave you just a brief, small smile of his own, quickly averting his gaze after. “Like I said before, it just wasn’t fair that you should have to be by yourself. But I’m glad you liked it,” he replied, his voice staying at an actual conversational tone. It was strange, but nice.

The walk back to your house was an enjoyable, and you both ended up laughing, probably loud enough to make the people you walked past annoyed, but neither of you minded. It was just the two of you hanging out together, just like it seemed to always be.

Soon enough, the both of you had arrived at your house, and he’d actually walked with you to your door tonight. He’d just said something to make you laugh, and it made it a little harder to get the key in the door lock. You had just turned to tell him goodnight, but he said something before you could.

“So, I was out the other day, and I just saw something, and I thought you might like it,” he mumbled, reaching in his pocket. “Or you might not, I don’t really know. Do what you want with it,” he grumbled after. He pulled out a thin, square box, one that fit in his hand, and he handed it to you. “Merry Christmas.”

You took the box from him, going to pull the lid off. Inside, there was a bracelet. It was made of beads that were your favorite color. Maybe it was a coincidence, but a small part of you thought that maybe he’d remembered when you mentioned it. On the bracelet, there were two small charms. One of them was in the shape of a bomb, with a little spark at the end of the fuse. The other was a little explosion, the orange and red looking like a small firework.

Your heart melted a little, and you gently took it out of the box, sliding it on your wrist. “Aw, Bakugo! I love it,” you grinned, looking at the little charms one more time before you looked back to him. Clearly, it meant something to him, as you could see the faint red dusting of a blush across his face. You laughed softly, hiding your smile as best you could. “Oh! But I didn’t get you anything,” you mumbled, the gears turning in your brain as you thought about it.

“You didn’t have to it was just something I saw-“

But before he could really finish his sentence, you’d walked over, closing the bit of space between you. You pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, hovering there for just a moment afterwards.

“Guess you’ll have to try for the real thing on New Year’s, boom boy,” you whispered, smiling a little before you walked back. “Anyway, goodnight, Katsuki,” you said, putting some emphasis on his name. You unlocked your door, stepping inside, and you quickly turned back to him. “See you tomorrow?”

Bakugo was still standing there, looking like he’d malfunctioned. His face was terribly red, his eyes just wide as he stared at the spot you used to be. It took him a moment to even realize you’d asked him a question, and his head looked in your direction. “Y-yeah,” he answered.

You laughed, giving him just one more smile before you shut your door. Honestly, you couldn’t believe you’d just done that, but you couldn’t say that you really regretted it. Actually, you were looking forward to another time you could have an excuse to do it again.

It was a good minute or two before Bakugo even moved from your doorstep, his hand gently pressing the place you’d left a kiss. His mind kept replaying the little scene for him, just remembering every little detail about it. Hell, he didn’t even seem to mind you called him boom boy. Even the way you’d said his actual name, it wasn’t bad. He’d eventually left your doorstep, starting to walk home to his house. Guess he would have to see at New Year’s if he could get the real deal, and the thought brought a smile to his face.

———————————————————————

Bonus: Kaminari, Sero, Denki, and Mina were camped out in the bushes near your place. Of course, they’d started to put two and two together. By they, I mean Kirishima and Sero. They’d noticed a few things, and they had told Sero and Kaminari, and now here they were.

“They haven’t shown up in awhile. Maybe we were wrong?” Mina said, looking in either direction, trying to find you and Bakugo.

“No, we weren’t wrong,” Kirishima reassured her. “I texted Bakugo about an hour ago about being better than him, and he didn’t even respond. I sent (Y/N) something, and she usually answers. He’s definitely with her now,” he explained. Just as he said that, the two of you had rounded the corner.

“That’s them! Shhh,” Sero whispered, and the four of them crouched down further into the bushes, their eyes on the both of you.

Not that any of them could really hear what you were saying, but they could see perfectly well what was happening.

“So that’s what he was asking me about,” Sero murmured, seeing the box be pulled from his pocket.

When you kissed Bakugo’s cheek, the bushes nearly erupted with noise, but they were forcing themselves to be quiet. Kirishima had nudged Sero, nearly making him fall over, and Mina and Denki had been excitedly slapping each other.

“This ship has sailed!” Denki cheered quietly, making Mina laugh but causing Kirishima to gently shush him.

After you’d closed the door, the four of them had started talking, exchanging money about certain bets they’d had, and making a few more bets and speculations about what would happen.

As Bakugo tried to walk by, he’d heard some strange sounds coming from the bushes. Hands already positioned at the ready, making small little explosions, he crept over to the bushes and looked over. The little group froze when they saw Bakugo’s face appear over the edge. There was a small moment of silence in which no one moved or said a word.

“What are you doing here?” Bakugo asked, his voice gruff and getting a little bit louder as he went along.

“Hey, Bakubro! We were just-“

“RUN!” Denki screamed, scrambling and sprinting away from Bakugo as he could. The others were quick to follow, rubbing as fast as possible from the boy growing increasingly louder as the explosions got bigger.

“You damn extras!” he roared, hopping over the bushes and chasing after them, determined that he would catch up to them and make sure they would forget whatever they did or didn’t see.

#katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugo #bakugo fic #bakugo fanfic #bakugo fanfiction #bakugo imagine #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo fic #katsuki bakugo fanfic #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #my hero academia #mha #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction

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adhdeancas · 4 years ago

Note

no pressure at all but i’m always a sucker for sammy’s pov/outsider pov on dean being trans if you felt like writing that sometime :)))

uh so i kinda wrote this from Sam’s POV when he was 11 and Dean comes out to him? Hope that’s okay? also-- tw for abuse mention/injuries. It’s kinda angsty but it has a good end. also tw for Sam misgendering Dean before he knows he’s trans obviously

Sam knew he had a bad childhood. But he knew Dean had a worse one, too. Not really, not in the front of his mind (Dad talked to him, Dad trusted him, Dad treated him like an adult), but if he really thought about it…

Dean came out to him on a bad night.

---------------------------------------

7:00 pm. Summer 1994.

Deanna came back into the motel room with a busted lip and a dislocated shoulder.

“Dee!” Sam calls out immediately. He jumps up from the musty little couch, throwing his schoolbooks on the coffee table, and goes to his sister. She pushes him away and winces immediately. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Deanna lies through bloody teeth. “I was a smartass. I’m fine.”

Sam tries to grab her by her other arm but she pulls away before he can, and that’s when he sees her shoulder looks off. Like the bones are twisted wrong, shoved on wrong like she’s a Barbie that’s been thrown across the room. “Dad?”

Deanna looks away and doesn’t say anything, and Sam knows that means yes. A jolt of guilt goes through him. He knows it’s because Dee probably tried to get John to stick around for a couple days, probably because Sam was whining so much about missing him. Or maybe it was about the nearly empty state of their cupboards, or the multiple calls home from teachers for Dean’s shitty attitude that were getting harder and harder to dodge or explain John’s absence away. Either way, John hadn’t followed her back into the room, which meant he’d left again. The argument had cost Sam even a glancing look at their dad while he got his clothes done at the laundromat.

Sam stares. “It’s not right.” he whispers.

Deanna pushes at him again, but she doesn’t seem to be trying too hard to get him away. “It’s fine, Sam. Just let me, I can-” She pulls at the arm with her good one and cries out.

“Deanna, stop being fucking dumb,” Sam risks cussing because Dee usually takes him more seriously when he does. Sure enough, she looks down at him with a frown. He shrugs. “Let me help you. You’d help me. Besides, I’ve never had a dislocated shoulder before. I don’t know how to fix one.” He raises his eyebrows, confident this appeal would work. Dee always caved if he could word it in a way so she was helping him, teaching him something that could keep him safe later. It’s how he’d got her to teach him how to do stitches and pick locks and learn exorcisms.

“... fine.”

“Yes!” Sam mutters under his breath. Deanna huffs out a laugh. She climbs onto the rickety old table they have in the room and lays down with her bad shoulder laying off it. “Alright, Sammy, now just grab onto my forearm and pull straight down. Hard and fast.” She grins to herself and looks away, muttering, “That’s what she said,”

Sam’s got no clue what that’s supposed to mean, but he grabs ahold of her forearm anyway, thinking. “Dee, he shouldn’t hit you.”

“Sam, I told you, I was being a smart ass, I had it coming this time.”

Sam grips tight. “Still. He shouldn’t. You’re not supposed to hit girls.”

“I’m not-” Sam tugs down hard, and he hears a distinct and gross pop from above him as Deanna’s shoulder slides back into place. She groans and rolls back onto the table, cradling her arm. “Motherfucker, shit, I’m not a motherfucking girl.”

Sam hits his head on the tabletop standing up. “What?” he asks, rubbing the back of his head. What’s that supposed to mean?

“What?”

“You said you’re not a girl.”

“Oh, I-” Deanna sits up straight now and tumbles off the table in her hurry to get away from Sam. Sam watches with confusion. It’s like she’s more freaked out now than she was when she came in with a freshly beat up face. “I meant like- I’m not a- I’m not- I’m not a girl,” she stutters, emphasizing the last word. “Like weak. Uh, like when I call you a girl for complaining about your bookbag being heavy.”

Sam furrows his eyebrows. Deanna’s also taught him how to tell when somebody’s lying, which had the unexpected perk of knowing when she’s lying. And she’s lying. She’s also… “Are you crying?”

Deanna looks up, terrified, and raises a hand to wipe the moisture off her face. “No, I’m not fucking- Sammy, leave me alone!”

Sam crosses his arms. “What’s going on?”

“What the fuck do you mean, Sam?” she grumbles. She’s turned away to grab a towel and she wets it and wipes at her lip. Then she grabs some ice from the freezer and shakes it into the towel. People ask if a girl comes into school with a swollen, split lip, especially when it’s a loner like Deanna.

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m not. You’re acting weird.” her voice is muffled from the towel.

Sam’s head hurts, and he really just wants to read his book. It’s a really good one, an adventure story. They’re in space. But that protagonist never gives up on a mystery, and he’s not about to either. “No, you’re acting weird about saying you aren’t a girl. Which wouldn’t be weird unless you weren’t lying about it and making it weird.” he’s thinking out loud. Deanna looks like she wants to kill him. “Dee, just tell me what’s going on.” he can hear the childish whine in his voice, but he can’t help it. He just wants to help. “Please, Dee. You can trust me.”

She sits on the table, and it rocks below her. She shakes her head. “I dunno, Sammy, I think I’m really messed up.”

Sam resists the urge to make a joke, and sits in a chair so he can look at her. “What do you mean, messed up?”

“I… Fuck, it’s super weird. You’re not allowed to tell anyone this, okay? Anyone, period. No dad, no Bobby, no weird little friends.”

Sam glares at her. “I promise.”

Deanna sighs and leans forward. “I… I wanna be a guy. Like… so bad. All the time. So bad it hurts.” she says quietly. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t- I don’t like… looking like this.”

Sam stares. His thoughts are going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what that means. “You wanna be a guy?”

“... yeah.”

“But… you’re a girl.”

“Yeah, I fucking know that, Sam. Hence the ‘wanting to be a guy’ part. Fuck.” She tosses the icy towel into the sink. It makes a hollow clink, which seems to disappoint her. She sags against her own hands, holding her face up with her elbows propped on her knees. “I’ve read about it, y’know. Trying to figure out what- what’s wrong with me.”

“You’ve read about it?” Sam asks incredulously. Dee never reads anything for school, only random books with nothing to do with her classes. She says the academic wording gives her headaches. She frowns at him now. Her eyes are wet again. “What did you find out?”

“People… people are like that. Some people are. Mostly… mostly guys who wanna be girls but some… some like me too.”

“So what do they do?”

Dee blinks and looks at him surprised. Like she’d expected something different from him. “Most of ‘em got surgeries to, uh, look like how they wanted.” She hunches her shoulders over on herself. “They changed their names.”

“Well, you change your name all the time.” Sam says easily.

“That’s different. That’s for cases.”

“Yeah, well, do it when it’s not for cases. I dunno, call yourself Dean instead. That’s a boy name, right? People wouldn’t even think it’s weird, it’s just a nickname like Dee.” Sam shrugs.

“Sammy, anybody ever told you you’re a genius?” Dean’s voice cracks, and she sniffs and takes a deep breath before she can look at him.

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you. When you’re not calling me a dumbass.” Dean gets up and wraps him in a hug, only making a muffled sound when she moves the hurt shoulder.

“Dean?” Sam tries the name out on his tongue. It sounds good, natural. Dean huffs in reply. “Does this mean you’re a ‘he’ now?”

Dean laughs. “I, uh. I guess? If that’s not too weird?”

Sam rolls his eyes again. “Dean, we hunt monsters for a living.”

#anon #ask #prompt #tw: abuse #tw: misgendering #trans dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #my writing

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icequeen-07 · 4 years ago

Text

Your Song

Eijirou watched him from across the room, red eyes lit up with both love and joy. He leaned on the rall, watching Katsuki and Izuku spar. Ochako was training by herself behind him, he could hear her little grunts and how her body smacked the punching bag.

But his eyes remained on one person.

Katsuki Bakugou.

Now Eijirou knew falling for a straight guy was a very bad terrible idea. One of Eijirou’s worst ideas. And he had a lot of bad ideas.

But watching Katsuki spar and smirk made the new chivalrous hero’s heart skip a beat.

There were things he would wish for if he believed in that kind of thing. For his family to be happy, for him to be stronger, and maybe, just maybe, giving in to that selfish little voice in the back of his head. He wished Katsuki liked guys. He wished the world was a bit kinder to someone like him.

He wanted the butterflies he felt whenever Katsuki smiled at him to go away. He wanted this funny feeling to go away. He wanted to stay friends, and keep everything platonic.

He didn’t want to mess anything up.

Like he always did.

He was a coward, an idiot, pining coward.

At first he didn’t know what this funny feeling was. At first he thought he was sick, or being stupid. At first he ignored it all, pushing it deep down within himself. He couldn’t like Katsuki, that was impossible!

But with time, his feelings grew wings and enveloped him. He felt like he was drowning. Always so flustered around his best friend. Always so shy and stuttery. It wasn’t manly at all.

A tap on the shoulder drew him out of his thoughts. He felt his face warm as he spun around to meet the person face to face. Ochako.

“Hey Eiji. I’m done in there if ya wanna use the bag,” she said with a smile. Then her eyes flicked over to the two boys sparing. Her cheeks warmed. “Unless yer busy?” They were third years. They were comfortable with one another. If Ochako could feel comfortable enough with him to speak freely, then he could tell her about his dilemma.

He trusted her, she was like a safe.

It just felt...dirty. Keeping it all a secret. It was love, they were his feelings. He was allowed to feel them about anyone he wanted to.

But not everyone liked the fact he was gay.

He lost many friends to it.

“Hey...Ochako,” he started, causing her to pause. She turned back at him, a water bottle half in her mouth.

“Yeah?”

He wrung his hands. It felt wrong to keep this all to himself. He hated keeping secrets from his friends. It wasn’t manly. “Can I...trust you with something?” He asked. “I...I don’t want to keep it a...secret anymore,” he whispered. “And I...I feel like you’ll understand. Somehow.”

She blinked. He knew it was coming out of nowhere. They weren’t as close as they were with others in their class.

But if he told his friends, he knew they would let it slip. He loved them to death, but they couldn’t keep a secret to save their lives.

“Eiji, what’s this about?” She asked. A grunt caught their attention. Her eyes flicked to the boys sparring, her face turning pinker before she turned back to him. Katsuki had thrown Izuku into the mat.

“It’s...nothing! Nevermind,” he said, plastering a smile on. “I was just being stupid.” He was. He was just being dumb. It didn’t matter how he felt anyways. Katsuki liked girls.

Eijirou would only be his friend.

And that was okay.

That was fine.

It was all he could’ve ever asked for. All he deserved. He wasn’t really worthy of Katsuki’s friendship in the first place, but having it was a treasure he never knew he’d have.

She chewed on her lower lip. “Let’s go somewhere else. I’m gonna clean up, meet me on the roof?”

He blinked, surprised. “What?”

She smiled. “You have something to spill dontcha? It’s okay. I won’t tell. Meet me on the roof in ten, kay?”

Tears pricked at the back of his eyes.

He didn’t deserve U.A. at all. “Okay.”

He started out at the city from the roof of the dorms. Ochako picked a great spot to talk, he didn’t even know they were allowed up on the roof. He wondered when she was coming up, it had been over ten minutes.

Maybe she abandoned him like he knew she would.

He curled up, holding his legs to his chest. It wasn’t very manly to think that way, but once the dam broke he couldn’t stop it.

His friends were going to leave him eventually, why not now?

“Phew hey Eiji! Sorry I took so long! Mina cornered me!” A floaty voice said from behind him. He whirled around to see Ochako at the ledge of the rooftop, floating. “You okay there?”

He swiped at a tear he didn’t know he shed. “Yeah! I’m fine! Just got something in my eye!” He lied. The moment the lie slipped out he regretted it. Lying was going to make this so much harder.

Ochako pulled herself up onto the roof, cancelling her quirk and dropping with a soft ‘plop’. “So what’s up?” She asked, walking over to him and sitting down at the ledge. He felt a bit safer next to her. With how high up they were, if he fell he was in good hands.

“It’s...”

“If you say nothin I’m pushin you off this roof,” she joked, making him laugh. His body started to relax. Ochako did that to people. She was like him in a way. She hid everything away, without knowing her feelings were plain on her face. For all to see.

He wished he could do that without feeling ashamed.

She lowered her voice. “Does...does this have to do with Katsuki?” She asked.

He flinched, his hands trembling.

Maybe he was more open than he thought.

“I knew it. You like him, don’t you?”

“I...I...” he looked away. He was ashamed of it. Ochako would hate him. She would tell everyone and they would hate him too. “I...do.”

When he looked up again she was glowing with a smile on her face. “I knew it.”

“Do...do you hate me?” He whispered.

Her eyes widened with her surprise. “Hate you? Gosh no! Eiji, I love you man! Just because you like blasty don’t mean I’m gonna hate you. He ain’t my type but I’m not here to judge.”

“But...I’m a guy!”

“...and?”

“I like a guy.”

“What’s your point? You like him right? It ain’t no different from me with Deku-” her eyes went wide and she slapped a hand over her mouth.

It took him a moment to let it all sink in.

Ochako didn’t hate him,

Ochako loved him.

She was still his friend

She supported him.

She...liked Izuku.

“You’re...fine with me...liking Katsuki?”

“I don’t see anythin wrong with it. If that’s what you’re asking. I think it’s sweet.”

“But he...likes girls.”

“Eiji, are we talkin about the same Katsuki? He is as straight as a circle. I can guarantee it.”

“And how can you do that?”

She smirked, he didn’t like the evil vibes he got from it. “You’d be surprised how much you learn when you’re best friends with his rival.”

He kicked his legs. “Really?”

“Really.”

“But...”

“Hey, you don’t havea do something you’re not comfortable with. Whether you tell him or not is up to you. I can’t push you, but I’ll listen.”

“Thank you, Ochako. You’re a great friend.”

She turned pink, grinning. “I try my best.”

He looked at his hands, smiling. It felt like a weight being lifted off his chest. It felt good to tell someone. “If...I were to confess, how would I go about it?”

She blinked. “You sure you’re askin the right person that?”

“I’m sure.”

“Well...I’d put it into words? Maybe a note? If you don’t want to say it face to face, which I have a feeling you won’t do. And trust me, that’s fine. But write a letter, maybe you could have song lyrics. Something.”

“You thought about this a lot.”

She laughed. “Silly comin from me right? A girl so stuck up in her own mind she can’t confess to her friend. Here she is giving advice to another.”

“I think it’s good advice. Maybe she should take it herself. Makes everything seem...easier.”

“Maybe I’ll try it.”

“Maybe I’ll do the same.”

“Plus Ultra Eiji.” She held out a fist.

“Plus Ultra Ocha.” He bumped it with his own.

He clutched a red envelope, all his thoughts and feelings spilled out for one person to see.

He couldn’t do this.

His stomach turned, he wanted to hurl.

He looked back at the letter, took in a deep breath and moved forward. He didn’t have to go through with this if he didn’t want to!

...who was he kidding he wanted to.

Ochako saw him, and flashed him a thumbs up. It boosted his confidence a nudge, making the last few steps to Katsuki’s desk easier. The boy in question had his headphones in, and wasn’t paying attention.

Better for Eijirou.

The moment he got close, Katsuki’s eyes snapped open. “Eh?” He growled, taking an earbud out. Eijirou’s face turned red, so he dropped the letter on Katsuki’s desk and ran.

He slammed the door to the bathroom shut, shaking and crying. Crying was manly, but now it was the most unmanly thing he could’ve done.

He ran. Like a coward.

He curled up on himself, he was such a coward. He couldn’t save anyone before. He couldn’t save anyone now.

He couldn’t even face himself.

How was he able to call himself a hero?

He stayed still for a long time, only moving when there was a knock at the bathroom door. “Shitty hair open the fucking door.”

Katsuki.

He wiped his tears, getting to his feet. “N-No.”

“What?”

“I-I’m not opening the door.”

A muttered curse. “Whatever moron.” He relaxed a tinge, maybe things would go back to normal. “I got your note.” He stiffened, or maybe not.

“Just...f-forget about it.”

“No.”

“W-Why not?”

“If you open the door, I’ll tell you.”

Eijirou poundered it for a moment, before open the bathroom door. “Wha-” he was cut off by Katsuki kissing him.

His heart about beat out of his chest, his eyes stuck open.

“That answer enough for you, shitty hair?”

“I...I...I-”

Katsuki just smirked. “Didn’t know you were a poet.”

Eijirou’s face flushed scarlet. “I’m...not. It was a song Ochako showed me a while back. It...reminded me of you. So I added my...note to it.”

Katsuki sighed, before smiling. “Well it wasn’t bullshit, so that’s good. The fucking nerd told me to go after you after you ran off.”

“I know I’m sorry-”

“I thought you liked girls.”

“W-What?”

“I did. I thought you liked Mina.”

“I...don’t though!”

“I know that now, but I thought you did.”

“I...also thought you liked girls.”

Katsuki blinked. “How?”

“Well you’re just so...you. How could anyone say no to that. Besides you didn’t seem like the type to...”

“Date a dude?”

“...yeah...”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yeah?”

“So date me already moron.”

Another blink. “R-Really?”

“Was my kiss really that fucking forgettable? Yes moron!”

Eijirou touched his lower lip, face still warm. “Really really?”

“Need me to make my fucking point again?!”

“Maybe.”

Katsuki scoffed, but did so. He kissed Eijirou so softly and sweetly Eijirou would’ve never known it were Katsuki.

But it was.

“You don’t...hate me?” He asked after a moment.

“Fuck no.”

“I...thought you would. I thought everyone would,” he confessed.

“I did too. But then I learned to ignore it. If they do hate you, fuck em. They’re missing out. If they love you, like everyone does and still do, then keep em by your side. Easy as that.”

“Easy as that...”

Katsuki held out a hand. “Let’s get back to class. Kissing in the bathroom is fucking gross. We can do it later.”

Eijirou grinned, blushing. “Later huh?”

“Yeah shitty hair, I’m taking you out tonight. Wear your nicest outfit. And no fucking crocs.”

He laughed. “I make no promises.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go.”

“Okay!”

“Okay.”

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asterekmess · 4 years ago

Note

I keep thinking of the way Scott abusing Derek, Jackson and Isaac out of jealousy and assaulting Corey to make himself feel better was dismissed as humour and ‘boys being boys’ and how it might have conditioned antis to believe that Scott has the right to hurt and lash out at people if he’s bitter and angry enough, which leads directly to Stiles being expected to accept and endure Scott’s gaslighting, victim blaming and dehumanization in Lies of Omission yet turn around and help Scott anyway

Thank you for the clarifying Message! I really appreciate it!

To preface, I haven’t seen “Lies of Omission” and I barely know who Corey is, so I’ll keep discussion of those things light.

And yet, I can see where you’re coming from, and I think you’re absolutely right, at least in the first part.

The framing of the show definitely has a concrete effect on the way fans view it. So much of my issue with Scott was based around the way the show framed his behavior as being okay or justified, or just, not that important? They were so worried about continuing the main plot that even when his actions Are shown to be bad, it’s completely skipped over and there’s never a response to it later. From Season 1, we see Scott doing uncomfortable and inappropriate things to the people around him, and them either letting it happen, or giving him a weird look and then it never being addressed.

Season 1, like episode 2, when Scott sees Allison with her jacket again after Derek returned it to her locker. He scares her with his interrogation. She is clearly uncomfortable and frightened and she leaves to get away from him. But it’s never addressed. Just skimmed over so that Allison can go back to being lovey dovey with him. Allison breaks up with him for lying to her in “Night School’ and his lying is never addressed. Yes, he’s a werewolf and that’s kind of fucking hard to explain. But even after she knows about werewolves and the secret is out, they never actually talk about the fact that he locked her in a room while as far as she knew Derek Hale- the guy who drove her home and said he was Scott’s friend AND who Stiles had driven off with one day after school, was trying to murder them.

In fact, they go so far as to show Lydia Confirming to Allison that Scott’s behavior was awful, then have her turn around and make out with Scott because ‘she knew he was trying to save them’ and then...even though Allison gets mad at Lydia for kissing Scott, she never gets mad at Scott for kissing Lydia.

My best examples are going to be from the beginning of the show, but this pattern continues for the entire series. Scott does things that are uncomfortable, inappropriate, or just outright bad, and it’s never addressed in a way that shows he did something wrong. Oftentimes, his behavior is actually justified by the narrative, which makes it honestly reasonable that so many people would read him as a hero, at least their first time through the show. The show says again and again the Ends justify the Means, and it’s built so that we don’t blame Scott for the bad things he does or that we don’t even see them as bad because the other characters aren’t freaking out, so why should we?

As far as ‘Stiles being expected to accept and endure Scott’s gaslighting, victim blaming, and dehumanization,’ a key point you might be missing is that the show did not frame those actions that way. Stiles isn’t expected to accept and endure it, because as far as the show is concerned, Scott didn’t do those things. There is nothing to endure. Scott’s behavior is rationalized and justified by the show, so that unless you put extra thought into it (which, tbf, lots of people don’t want to do. They’re watching a show, they don’t want to have to analyze every minute of it) you’ve already been primed by the entire rest of the series to find his behavior Perfectly Normal and Reasonable.

According to the show, Scott was lied to by his best friend, and it’s tragic that he’s being lied to again by Theo whom he’d come to trust because he is a trusting person. Stiles is framed from the beginning as being distrustful and slightly paranoid, so it makes perfect sense for Scott to question his instant dislike and objection to Theo’s integration. Stiles is also framed as someone who makes a lot of violent threats and has done a Lot of violent things, such as beating werewolves with baseball bats, Threatening Julia Baccari with Another baseball bat, throwing molotovs on a werewolf, ramming his jeep into a kanima. Stiles was directly involved in Peter’s death. This isn’t the first time he’s been at the least an accessory to someone’s murder.

We are primed as watchers to believe that Scott is perfectly justified in believing that Stiles would kill someone/something supernatural AND in believing Theo is telling the truth, because Stiles never likes new people so it’s not fair to distrust others just because Stiles doesn’t like them.

All of our research and meta is fun to do, but it’s important to remember that to the average watcher, someone who doesn’t want to analyze the show or read into people’s motivations, Which again, is Perfectly Reasonable, Scott is the hero.

It’s the same reason people Love Brooklyn Nine-Nine, even though it’s a show about cops who constantly break laws and play fast and loose with human rights because they were too lazy to fill out proper paperwork or too impulsive to keep from using too much force. We love it because of how the characters are framed as good guys and how their actions are framed as JUST or even just as comedic.

TW had some really shitty writing, but their framing was on point. It just didn’t go the direction we wanted it to.

#personal #rant #meta ramblings #anti-Scott McCall #Anonymous #go for it

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8makes1cheese · 4 years ago

Text

f2l with Song Mingi♡

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

RoommateAU, (and like High SchoolAU in the beginning and kinda CollegeAU?)

Tags: cursing, shitty attempts at comedy, fluff, kinda sorta suggestive?, ig drug use and drinking?(booze and weed)

Words: 2.5k

A/N: Okay so, this is my first bullet scenario thing? and its weird...like this is so weird but I tried XD it ended up this weird mix between bullet scenario and oneshot fic and i-

...............all I can do is practice and try to get better but yeah. SO HERES THIS :D (im srry don hate me T-T)

-Finding Your Best Friend-

this bb would be the best-est friend you would have in this world

probably why you fell for him in the first place, but let's not get to ahead of ourselves

you guys met freshman year of high school

your guys' mutual friend Yunho is really the reason why

you just moved to town, and since said town was small, it was clear to you that everybody knew everybody else

you felt pretty lonely on the first day because of that

second day of freshman year is where is all started to come together

you were looking for a nice spot to sit and have your lunch outside because you didn't want to look like the weird loner person eating by themselves in silence

you found a pretty spot under a big tree near the track field, you put a random cool cake making tutorial on your phone and ate your lunch

the video was at a part where they were placing intricate designs in frosting all over the cake when you hear "Whoa, that is so cool!"

you jump about 3 feet in the air and immediately gather up your phone and get up to spin around to see who interrupted your quiet time

a young man, not sure his grade, with peach colored hair and a worried expression on his face, raises his hands in a surrender pose

'okay but what the hell was he doing, watching my phone behind the tree?'

well reader, we'll never know

"I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to scare you that bad! Really, I am so so so sorry!"

you, still in shock, just nod at him

now you're both just standing in front of each other

not saying anything

....well

this is awkward

"I-I'm Yunho...by the way."

you clear your throat, not sure why, nervous habit

"[Y/N].."

"So, uh... Haven't seen you around here before.."

once you explained you were new, and new to the town in general. There was no escape.

you were now best friends with the giant teddy bear and there was nothing you could do about it

yunho immediately took you under his wing and showed you around the campus. Then the town itself after school was out.

but Ro this seems to be turning into a yunho x reader fic/ bullet scenario

stfu I'm getting there

what did this turn into even

so now you and Yunho are bffs

enter giant teddy bear 2.0

you and yunho are hanging out at lunch, it's become a usual for the past two weeks

and Yunhos other bff is becoming sus about why Yunho hasn't been eating with him at lunch or doesn't seem to have as much time after school for him

that's when giant teddy bear 2.0 (if you don't know that its Mingi then idek-) finds his bestie with some random chick

a really adorable random chick

"So this is where you have been?"

you and Yunho start, not expecting someone to find your guys' spot

Also, deja vu, amiright?

"Oh, hey Mingi!" Yunho greets the tall dirty blonde haired teddy bear

And you're totally not sitting there thinking, 'holy shit, he is...wow.'

and that's how it all started

he stayed and introduced himself and you hit it off just as well as you and yunho did

maybe even better..

he started showing up everyday, at the what was dubbed 'The Cool Kids Spot™️' by you all, with yunho

even tho we all know you guys were NOT the cool kids

then it went to him being at the spot before everyone showed up

so he could see you first

then it turned into him meeting you up after class so you both could grab your food together and meet up Yunho at The Spot™️

before you could even realize it, he became your person

you were the first person he ran up to and hugged after him and Yunhos dance group took home 1st place at a competition

he was the first person you called when you were told that your poem won an award

you were the person he'd come to if he needed any kind of advice

and he was the first person you went to if you needed to get out of your head or your anxiety was getting to you

the high school years went by so fast

a lot changed

but what never changed was Mingi, he may have grown

and damn he grew

but he was your constant (and yes, yunho too, we can't forget yunho bro)

-Knowing They're The One-

high school came and went

Mingi and Yunho were accepted by a prestigious performing arts school

you, however, were going to just a regular college

luckily, both schools weren't terribly far from each other

which is why, instead of suffering in dorms, you and Mingi decided to get a apartment together, not far from both schools

yunhos ass stayed with his parents because they live like right next to the school, lucky hoe

you all still make time for each other

but you and Mingi prefer to stay in, order takeout and watch random stuff on YouTube

whenever you or Mingi went out it was always together (unless it was classes)

Grocery shopping? Together. Doctors appointment? Together. Girls night? Together. Guys night? Together.

"So, you must be suffering right now" his friend Yeosang said to him on a rare guys night that didn't involve you.

Mingi looked at Yeosang perplexed, ignoring whatever Wooyoung was talking to him about

"What are you talking about?"

"You and [Y/N] are literally always together, the fact she isn't here surprises me."

Mingi laughed. "We're not always together."

A cacophony of "LIES" and "BULLSHIT" filled the air as all of Mingi friends called him out on his bullshit

Mingi could feel his face heating up

"W-well, so what if we are! Were best friends AND roommates."

"And lovers~" his friend San whispered in his ear from behind and laughed, dancing away before Mingi could hit him

"We're not together!" Mingi exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"But you want to be."

Mingi turned to look at the owner of the voice. It was Yunho, leaning against the entrance of the kitchen everyone was gathered in

He was looking at Mingi with a smirk

Mingi knew Yunho knew how he felt about you

and not because he told him

well...he kinda did

FLASHBACK TIME

it was your guys' high school graduation

more specifically, the night of, and you were all partying and yunhos house

celebrating the fact that you all were officially adults now

lol you thought

and what better way to celebrate that than with underage drinking

be safe kids, don't drink irresponsibly

and Mingi. Got. Wasted.

by the end of the night, he was crying (and maybe puked once or twice...) in Yunhos arms about how beautiful you were, and how amazing and talented you were

wouldn't shut up about how soft and perfect you feel in his arms when he hugs you or vice versa

"She is my soulmate." After every other sentence mentioning how perfect you are

but wait, where were you while Mingi was crying and puking you ask?

That night you met Yeonjun, who is now one of your closest friends

at first, a friend of Wooyoungs, who you all became friends with junior year, along with his best friend San

Yeonjun, who went to a different school across town, was invited along by Woo and San

you and Yeonjun hit it off so well, drinking and laughing, and talking about how much he loves his boyfriend Soobin, and maybe you drunkingly going on about how amazing Mingi is

however, Mingi didn't know Yeonjun

and what he saw that night was you, enjoying your time with someone who wasn’t him, laughing at jokes that weren't his, hanging all over someone who could never know you as well as he did (and that totally wasn't the reason that Mingi drank like 2 bottles of straight vodka, not at all)

and at that moment

he knew

he fucked up

he was in love with you

OKAY END OF FLASHBACK

Mingi wasn't sure what to say

he could deny it sure, but he knew it was useless

not after every person in the room gave him a knowing smirk after Yunhos comment

“She doesn't-”

“Oh, whatever. you guys are literally already a couple. And dont even try to deny that. If she was here right now, she’d probably be on your lap and you two would be sitting in some corner of the house whispering some weird drunk lovey shit to each other.”

well...

Mingi really didn't have a argument for that

that night he came home sober

but you didn't know that until months later when he told you he wasn't actually drunk

anyways when he got home you were sitting in the living room

music playing away on YouTube while you type away on your laptop

you didn't hear him come in, softly singing along to the song under your breath

he stood there for a moment and just..looked at you

your hair was a mess

you had on the same clothes as yesterday

probably haven't done a skincare routine in months

you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life

he felt so much love swell in his chest

hes known it for a while now but at that moment all that was going on in his head was

“That’s my soulmate. I love her. I love her so much.”

“Hey.”

he wasn't sure if he had said it loud enough but apparently he had because you flinched and turned to see who the ‘intruder’ was

“Oh, Mingi! Shit, you scared me...” you laughed. “How was guys night?”

He made his was over to sit on the couch as you told him how your paper was coming along and then waited for him to answer your question

he sat for a good minute not saying anything

“Mingi?”

he looked at you

“you okay hun?” you asked, placing your hand on his cheek

and then he kissed you

it was so quick, you had no time to register that it was happening at all

and he left just as quickly

slamming the door to his bedroom and leaving you flustered and panicked

-So....Lovers?-

the morning after the kiss was the most awkward moment that you and Mingi had ever had

luckily it didn't last long at all

you two were silent, awkwardly making breakfast

then Mingi busted out with “Man, I’m so hungover! I barely remember anything from last night!”

“Do...do you remember anything from when you came home?”

“No, to be honest, I don't even remember coming home...”

-cue forced laughter-

-cue Mingi not trying to be disappointed when you looked relieved-

he asked you if anything happened and tried not to feel sad about the fact you were going on about how nothing happened and he just came home and went to bed

why wouldn't you mention the kiss? maybe everyone had it wrong, you didn't feel the same. why else would you avoid it?

but everything went back to...normal

you two would cuddle every night on the couch

you showed up to every guys night like usual

(there may or may not have been more knowing smirks thrown Mingis way)

he showed up to the rare girls nights you'd have with your (like 2) girlfriends

(they literally just consisted of everyone chilling in some secluded spot and sparking up a blunt or two and bull-shittng)

but everything wasn't normal

because even though it lasted 0.0002 seconds long

Mingi cannot stop thinking about that kiss

neither can you for that matter

that's when you confided in your bestie Yeonjun

who knew all about your love for your other bestie

you went to Yeonjuns one Saturday afternoon without mingi

its been a month since the kiss and Yeonjun is only disappointed in the fact that you didn't tell him sooner

his solution was simple, just tell him how you feel

its so god damn obvious he feels the same

but who are you to do the simple thing right?

so what do you do?

you go with Soobins idea

and :) you:) go:) on:) a:) blind:) date:) with one of soobin and yeonjuns friends:)))))))

well

at least you were supposed to..

the night comes when you were supposed to meet at a nice cafe with their friend Beomgyu

you. were. lookin. FIRE BABY

slaayyyyy

you were in the kitchen grabbing your keys

and maybe prolonging the fact that your going out with someone who isn't MIngi

when Mingi walked out to heat himself up a noodle cup

and maybe one for you too because he didn't think you were going anywhere and was going to ask if you wanted to chill in his room and play mario kart

his jaw DROPPED when he saw you

he felt like he was just kicked in the gut, all breath left his lungs

and he may or may not have gotten an instant boner but-

he cleared his throat to get your attention

“You look...nice.” wow, Mingi, smooth

“O-oh, thanks, um... ill be back later okay?”

when Mingi asked where you'll be going and you said you had a blind date, he swears to this day he blacked out for a moment

next thing he knew he had you pushed against the counter

“Mingi-”

“No.”

“w-what..”

“You don't have a date.”

“But I do-”

then his lips were pressed against yours

and unlike the first, this one lasted a hell of a lot longer than 0.0002 seconds

it wasn't fireworks or butterflies or a sudden realization of unconditional love

it was rough and messy and filled with so many emotions including relief that your love for each other can finally blossom

you didn't say a word to each other when you parted

you stared at each other for a while, panting with big smiles on your faces

once your breathing returned to normal you gently pushed him back so you weren't pressed against the counter anymore

“I’m going to change in PJ's.”

Mingis smile lit up his whole face. “But I thought you had a date..”

“No, I don't.” you kissed his cheek and left to change.

-YES LOVERS FINALLY-

so you guys never really sat down and were like ‘hey so are we...?’

because you both knew you just....were

after that night you guys started acting like you had been dating for months

it was just like before

because of course, like always, Yunho was right

you guys already acted like you were dating

now kisses and a lot more were added to the mix

which just made everything 1000x better

everyone knew it was just a matter of time

you loved waking up to his arms wrapped around your waist and him softly snoring in your ear

he loved waking up to you peppering kisses all over his collar bones and neck

your loved bloomed♡

A/N pt2: Im sorry if the end seems so rushed as well, I started running out of steam and my mind blanked but I didn't want to prolong this and never post it...like i do with everything...

Thank you for reading!

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weaselbeaselpants · 4 years ago

Text

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore.

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?”

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

#tw: nazi #tw: neonazi #tw: swastika #tw: antisemitism #cultural appropriation #kimba the white lion #thiscrispykat #altright #classic spyro #My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic #balto #animals of farthing wood

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joonyverse · 5 years ago

Text

white chrysanthemum - jeon jungkook (bts)

summary: white chrysanthemum represents truth and loyal love. After much heartbreaks and lies, maybe he was just what you need all along

genre: angst, fluff

warning: LOTS OF CURSES, divorce, bad writings, unedited (Sorry), bad english and lots of grammatical mistakes whoopsie

jeon jungkook x f!reader

The digital clock on the computer screen showed Jungkook that it was indeed ten minutes to twelve in the night. He can’t help but let out a loud yawn and scratched his eyes. The dryness of them makes him want to just dunk them in a bucket of water.

Deciding that it was late, Jungkook saved the document he was working on before he turned off the computer. He packed his back and made his way to the lift.

There was no one in the office, well, at his floor at least. It was late, and it was Friday night. No one want to pull an overtime at Friday night. And Jungkook had to be in the unfortunate end of the spectrum.

He thought the lift would make no stop. He was tired, and he didn’t pay attention that instead of going down, the lift went up instead. So he leaned on the mirror wall, his blazer in his arm, sleeves rolled up, two of the first buttons were opened. So when the lift made a surprising stop, he immediately stood straighter. The floors above him was reserved for the lobbyists, the directors of the company, and the CEO.

You were waiting for the lift with your heads down. Fatigue coming over you. You felt nothing but exhaustion throughout your body. And when the lift dings, you just weakly lift your head, posture held straighter to walk into the lift.

As the lift door opened, Jungkook’s presence greeted you. Your eyes widened for a second before it relaxed again, you were hoping that he didn’t noticed. You nod at him as a greeting, which he reciprocated, before you walked in.

The atmosphere was awkward, but you couldn’t care less. The dull ache in your head from lack of sleep is the only thing that you could think about, or at least what distracted you. But to Jungkook, nothing but uneasiness fill him. He could cut the tension with a knife.

When you both reached the lobby, you gave him a small smile into the reflection in the mirror, as you both made eye contact, before you left without a word.

Jungkook sighed when you were out of sight. So many thoughts filling his head. Would it be like this if only he doesn’t give up four months ago? But you pushed him away.

It all started when...

It was a rainy day. It was raining for the whole day really. You can only sigh as you watch the droplets running through the window of your home.

Not only was it raining, but Taehyung said he would be late. It has been a shitty day really. You wish you could just go into his embrace and cuddle the unsettling feeling in your heart.

It was 10am. You were more than sure Taehyung wouldn’t want to eat if he got home later than it already is. You can relate as your job took a toll on you too.

You sighed heavily. It’s been like this nowadays. You went home earlier than you usually would, expecting and hoping that he would too be home at the time he supposed to, and you both can cuddle and have a movie night.

But to your disappointment, it’s also every nights he has his excuses why he had to be late. But you knew, being the CEO of a company is no easy game, him pulling an overtime should come as no surprises.

But you can’t help but feel a pang in your heart. You both used to be so close. God, he was your best friend, in a world full of betrayals, he’s the only human you could confide in, the only one you trust with your whole being.

And so you did. You married him.

You loved each other more than anything. Taehyung was always there for you, since your university days. Where you both would pull an all-nighter together. Whenever you were stressed over exams and papers, he’d be there for you, always, with open arms, and bunch of snacks to pamper you. And the same goes with him. Whenever he was stressing over his assignments, or how he was stressing over his mistake on the finance exam he had that one day, you were there for him, ready to take him into your arms.

But nowadays, it feels like you both were worlds apart. You drifted away slowly. It was slow, and yet the distance feels so great to you. You barely see him and by God you were both married, he was your husband, and yet it’s frustrating to you that his employees probably see him more than you.

At first he has thousands of excuses. How his works were very overwhelming and he had to get it done, how his colleagues held him for a dinner, and all that, he even sounds apologetic at first.

But now, all he say as he walk into the warmth of of your home, is just “sorry”, and he doesn’t even sound like he means it.

But still you waited. You want to confront him for once now. You’ve had enough. God you are also working, you see it beforehand how busy a CEO could be, but he works like as if he’s a one-man company. And you’ve had enough of that.

As soon as the door opened, you stood up from the couch you sat on. You came face to face by him. He gave you a look, before he looked away, stepping off his shoes. A certain distinct smell came from him and yet you can’t pinpoint what was it.

“You’re late again” you said, voice curt.

“Well I’m sorry that my job as the highest rank employee in the company took its time” he said, sass dripping from his tone.

You softly grabbed his shoulders, trying to make him look at you. But seems like your hold was a little bit harsher than you intended to, and his shirt got yanked a bit from the force.

And that’s when you saw it. And the distinct smell came from him is now making sense.

He smelled like sex.

And he has a hickey on his neck almost towards his chest.

Your eyes widened. Your throat constricted. Your bile rising. You feel like you’re choking on air.

The soft subtle scent of women’s perfume was now apparent to your now sensitive smelling sense.

“Taehyung...” your voice shaky, as tears burning its way towards your eyes. You can’t help but keep staring at the hickey on him. God knows what he hides under his shirt.

And it seems like Taehyung had caught on too. He suddenly grab a hold of your hands. He shook his head, his eyes widened.

“Y.n... it’s not what you thought-“

“Well than tell me! Give me your thousand excuses!” you shouted, tears now shamelessly fell.

But silence greeted you.

You let out a bitter chuckle. “Of course you can’t, you’ve been cheating on me, Kim Taehyung” you said darkly.

You turned away from him, heads down. You grab a hold of your chest as its being abused by the pain in your heart. You grab it like your life depended on it, like as if you could make yourself feel better.

You sat down on the couch as you feel like your legs might give up on you. Taehyung warily sat down too, far away from you.

“I’ve been waiting everyday Taehyung” you started. “I’m waiting, worrying, whether if you’ve eaten or not, if you’re safe or not, I was worried” you said. “I trusted you with all my being, I trust you with my heart, and that’s why I never questioned you” you added. You can’t even continue your words as sobs making its way.

Taehyung can’t help but feel guilty, he was basically drowning in it. He promised that you can trust him, how he would never broke your heart, god, he was the one that beat your ex for cheating on you. And oh god how the table had turned. He now became the evil he never wanted to be. He broke your heart, you, his wife, and his best friend.

“Y.n...” he reached out weakly.

“No, it’s okay, I understand, I’m not enough for you... And I understand that, what just makes me so... betrayed, is how you seemingly would never tell me unless I find out” you said.

Taehyung reached out to you. His hand trying to grab a hold of yours. But you flinched and moved further. But at least you looked at him now and that was enough for him.

“Don’t say that... you are enough, you are a woman anyone would want y.n” he said, sincerity filled his voice.

You scoffed. Finding how ironic his words were.

“It’s just me... I found a love that I don’t deserve, but I accepted it anyway, I was a fool thinking that I’d finally able to love again after accepting your love” Taehyung said. “Which I did, I was able to love again, but then... she came back y.n... and I‘m weak, I realised I never moved on...” he continued.

Just when you thought you couldn’t have your heart even more broken, you did. It’s the fact that you are indeed the second choice again. The home he ran away to for a momentary escape before he come back and make up.

“Jina...” you muttered.

Taehyung flinched at the name. He felt guilty for breaking you but not for loving her, and that makes him feel sadistic.

You lean back into the couch. Hopes drained from your whole very being. Taehyung could practically see how it feels like you were becoming the shell of a woman who you were.

Jina was always the choice indeed. You should’ve known. Jina was Taehyung’s first love, and still is apparently. She moved to the other half of the world when Taehyung about to confessed. What hurt Taehyung was Jina leaving without saying anything. And so you were there for Taehyung, mend his broken heart, reconstructed him, comfort him, with everything you can.

And one day, you confessed your feelings to him. With lots of fear of rejection, but most importantly ruined friendship. You would sacrifice yourself for him to be happy, God, you would.

But to your surprises, he reciprocated it, saying that the feeling was mutual.

But clearly, you were just a harbour and he was the ship that docked to you for some time before going away once again.

“I lose again” you said with a bitter smile.

Taehyung finally looked up towards you again. He wants to deny that you are not losing, he was the loser in this cruel game. But there was no way for him to convince you, not when he was the reason.

You were becoming the girl who got cheated on during university because you were the second choice once again. And Taehyung hated how he become the very man he despises for breaking your heart.

“It’s okay Taehyung, I can’t blame your nor your feelings...” you said. Taehyung can predicted what will come out of your mouth next, but before he can stop it, you had said it. “I’m blaming myself for not being enough, and maybe, I’m just... lacking a lot” you said in defeat.

You stood up from your couch. You gave him a last glance. “Goodbye, Taehyung” you said before you walked away from him, heading upstairs, towards your supposedly shared-bedroom.

Taehyung never felt this fear. This much fear. The goodbye, it feels like it’s really the last farewell. You want nothing to do with him anymore. He can’t deny that he indeed deserves that. But you were also his best friend. And how he had lost you.

He stood up from the couch. He knocked on the bedroom door, trying to caught your attention.

“I’ll bring the document to you, or have it sent to your secretary, I’ll pack my things too tomorrow, I love you” he said. He did. He really did love you. Just maybe in platonic way.

Now this penthouse never felt so empty, you thought as you heard him leave. And the big portrait of the day of your wedding feels like mocking you.

You went to work the next day. Acting like everything is fine. Not like anyone care. No one care about their colleague’s personal affair in this corporation. So you put on the straightest face you have and walk into the tall big tower.

But your change of attitude was noticed by your secretary. Jungkook was your secretary at the time. But also your friend. You would put him second after Taehyung in the list of people you trust.

As soon as he saw you walking through the lift towards your office, passing by his station, he noticed something was wrong. The demeanour, the aura you exudes. Your presence usually called for respect, a femme fatale, a strong aura that would make anyone that goes in your way cowers. That’s why the company trust you to do lobbying he figures.

But Jungkook was a friend. Well your best friend now that Taehyung went out of the list. He works with you basically 24/7. He’s the only one that brave enough to banter with you and befriending you. He was the only person that makes you feel like a human in this demon’s hell hole of a company.

He immediately followed you to your office. He was about to confront you until he finally able to get a full glance of your face when you sat down on your armchair. He finally knows what was different. You seem defeated. No, he was sure you were defeated. But by what? Or more importantly, by who?

“Do you want me to read your schedule?” He asked carefully.

You looked at him. You said nothing but nodded. “Entertain me, Kook” you said.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Well thankfully, you only have two meetings, one with the representative from the Cheon Enterprise, and one with Mr. Kim from the ministry who I believe has a deal for the company?” He asked.

You raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Kim?” You asked, can’t help but get sensitive. You can only hope Jungkook didn’t notice.

“Kim Namjoon” Jungkook said.

You immediately sighed in relief. Jungkook chuckled. He thought that maybe you had a stupid argument with your husband, just like usual. “Another chicken fight huh?” He joked.

But his joke was greeted with silence. You feel like tearing up all over again. And Jungkook noticed, now he felt bad for it. Maybe it was a real bad one he thought.

“I-I’m sorry” he apologised before proceeding to walk out from your office.

But before he could, your words next made him stopped in his track. “We are filing for a divorce” you said.

Jungkook turn around. And when he did, your eyes look at him, tears brimming. You were a human with full capabilities to feel after all. As much as you wanted to be those women in movies that seem so heroic, you can’t.

Jungkook hurried back to you, he grabbed a chair that was placed in front of you towards your side before he sat on it.

He grab your hand, trying to say that he’s here, and you can confide in him.

You let the tears fall. “He fell in love again... just not with me” you said.

To say that Jungkook was beyond shocked was an understatement. He froze on his seat. But he immediately went closer to you, want nothing but to gives you the comfort you deserve. He knew just how much Taehyung meant to you. He knew that no matter how hectic work could be, no matter how much you love your job, Taehyung would always come first, and you were a woman who fell in love with her job.

Jungkook immediately pulled you into a hug, giving you the warmth that you might needed, which indeed you did. You cried into his shoulders, letting the emotion that you’ve been holding flows. You convinced yourself to not cry yourself to sleep for a man whose heart belong to another. But now that you are letting it burst, you can’t help but think that Taehyung was more than just an ordinary man.

It took you some time but you finally calm down. Jungkook never once stopping from caressing your back gently. You hugged him even tighter, scared that his warmth will be gone if you pulled away. To your distaste however, he pulled out first. Your eyes immediately search for his.

“Wait here, I’m going to make you some tea” he said as he got up from his seat.

You were left alone with your thoughts and honestly, at this point, your mind was too crowded. You can’t help but feel numb. The long forgotten trust issue coming back to you. You promised yourself that you’d never love again. Your eyes staring into nothing.

You didn’t know how long, but your train of thoughts finally break when the door to your office was opened, revealing Jungkook with a cup of tea in his hand.

The smell of jasmine tea was filling your smelling sense. A little calmness seeping into you. You thanked him as he put the tea down onto your desk. You took a sip of it, letting the warm tea console your cold body.

“Hey, I need to do my works, but if you need me, I’m just a buzzer away” Jungkook said with a comforting smile.

You give him a small smile back. “Thank you” you said before he left your office.

That was also the start of the downfall.

You start to push people around you far. Diving more into your work. An unhealthy amount of overtime. You knew you made a mistake when even Jungkook left you. That argument one night in your office, of how you complain about his deserve-to-be-called-perfect work, how you said there’s always something wrong about how he done his work, and how you ended up saying things about him personally. And that’s when Jungkook decided that he had enough of you. He immediately asked to the Human Resource Department to move him, and that they did. You knew you messed up when Jungkook finally went away.

But you were so convinced that he would leave you anyway sooner or later. You ignored the signs. And now your friendship is as strained as ever. You continued on with your life, pretending like he means nothing, but just another employee. You pushed him away. The feeling of having a friend, someone to trust to, suddenly feel foreign to your liking.

But it’s not like it’s your fault alone.

Jungkook also pushed you away. Slowly he started to talk less to you. His professional and personal life got too complicated when his fiancée demanded for a break up. Jungkook was more than heartbroken. They’ve been engaged for years. They even planned for a wedding.

But his love was greeted with a simple text message that just simply end their relationship. Over. A. Message.

“Not ready for marriage, let’s break up”

That’s it. Jungkook tried to make it work, believe it, he did. He called her what feels like thousand times, and no respond. He came back to his supposedly shared apartment only to find her belongings were no longer there. That’s it. She cut all contacts. Nothing. Just a single text message.

Both of you got too deep into each other’s problem and forgot that you both in pain.

You knew it was ten to midnight. And if it wasn’t for the constant buzz on your phone, indicating your mom’s call, you would have stayed here until the sun came probably. Your unhealthy amount of overtime reached into your mother’s ears, and she wasn’t liking it, not one bit.

You finally packed up your bag and made your way towards the lift. The feeling of fatigue finally hitting you. Your body screams for rest. Your mental screams for enough of stress. As the lift bell dings, you finally stood straighter preparing yourself to walk in. And the door opened. Revealing Jeon Jungkook to you.

God, you miss having him to talk to. Your deepest conscience telling you to apologise and fix things. But your ego is way too big for that. You have to admit that somewhere inside, you missed having him as a friend. And yet, you ignored it.

The lift ride was filled with nothing but silence. Both of you has so much things to say, but left unspoken.

Jungkook wanted to ask whether you have healed or no. Why would you want to go home this late. Please take care.

And you want nothing but to apologise.

But you both left them unspoken.

And so you both made your way home.

And then the next time you both encounter each other was at the late of night too. It was almost a month since then. You were just about to go home from now your normal checking out time. And him from overtime.

Jungkook was a little concerned. Your demeanour seem different once again. You look rather pale. Your eyes unfocused. Little droplets of sweat trickled down your forehead. And Jungkook was more than concern if you’re going home driving by yourself.

But somehow, he didn’t say anything. Truth be told, he was scared, but also felt foolish for doing that.

But you made a difference.

“Good night, Kook” you said as you left the lift. Jungkook eyes widened in surprised. He followed along behind you. He was about to reach out to you, want to offer himself to drive for you. But then he saw that you had a chauffeur with you, and so he stayed back.

What you both didn’t notice was,

Two eyes, sadly but also curiously, been observing you from the tower beside yours.

It was 9pm. Jungkook was just home from the bar. Him and his colleagues made a quick stop there. Not to celebrate anything really, just to let some steam off their body and mind. Jungkook wasn’t drunk. To his disappointment. As much as he’d like to drink like there’s no tomorrow, he has family matter to attend tomorrow, and one hell of a workload.

So he found himself here in his apartment. He took a shower before changing into his grey sweatpants from his formal suit. He did some small workouts, if he can’t get drunk, then he’d sweat some bit. Doing his routine. He made himself some instant ramen, something he snorted at, as he promised himself not to touch the very thing once he graduated university. It’s not like he was too lazy to cook, it was just because he only has that in his cupboard. He hasn’t got the time to do grocery really.

He laid on his bed once he’s done. The comfort of his bed taunting him to go straight for sleep, but he knows better. He has things that need to be done, the thing that very much cockblocked him from getting drunk. He sighed. He pulled out his macbook, plugged in his USB, and got back into work. The only perk from this was he could work in comfortable manner.

But of course. He can’t focus on even one word. His minds keep wandering to the most useless things. He sighed in frustration, hands messing with his own hair. He tried once again to focus, but he really can’t. He wondered if this is what exhaustion and unhealthy amount of workload did to you.

His eyes can’t help but wander to the digital clock on the right upper corner. He sighed. Of course he can’t focus. It’s twenty five minutes past ten in the night. He wants nothing but sleep. So he tried to situated himself like he was in the office.

But his mind unexpectedly wanders back to you. And your unhealthy obsession recently with overtime. He didn’t know if it was his gut feelings, but something unsettling overcome him.

He stood straighter. He didn’t know why, but he felt that something is wrong. He reached out for his phone. He tried to call you, in months, he finally called you, all because he felt like there’s something wrong, and yet he doesn’t even know why. His call was left ranging. So he tried your office number. And yet no respond.

He felt even more uneasy. Anxiety start to fill him. Were you alright? But you would answer your calls in a heartbeat, no matter who.

So he got up from his bed. He took his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants, his car key into his hand. It was late, and he found himself driving back to the office, all because he felt like something had happened to you. He almost found himself silly for it.

He ran out of his car as soon as he parked it. Thank god the security recognised him. He was met with the question, “Why are you here, this late?” The security asked.

Jungkook was almost out of breath, but he managed an answer. “Is y.n still here?” He asked.

The security raised an eyebrow. “If it’s not midnight, then yes” he said.

Jungkook immediately run towards the lift. As no one use it, it immediately open as soon as he pressed the button. He immediately went for your floor. He keeps jittering inside the lift. The lift was relatively fast, but to Jungkook, that moment was the longest lift ride in his life.

As soon as he arrived, he ran out of the lift towards your office. He stopped in front of your door. He knocked. ‘Right, this could be ridiculous’ he thought. But nothing came from the other side of the door.

He opened the door, decide to let himself in. And to his horror. You were on the floor. Passing out. Your hand was on your stomach. Jungkook ran towards your form. He shook your body. Frantically. “y.n, wake up, please wake up” he said in panic. He immediately went to hold your body bridal style, lifting you into the lift.

The security was more than shocked when he saw the lift door opened revealing Jungkook lifting you in his arms.

“What happened?” He asked as he run towards you both.

“I don’t know, I found her on the floor” Jungkook said as he walk fast towards his car. Jungkook placed you gently on the back seat of his car.

“Thank you for letting me in” Jungkook said to the security.

The security waved him off, “Just get Miss y.l.n to safety, be safe Jungkook” he said before Jungkook’s car went pass him.

For once, Jungkook thanked his gut instinct to lead him there, but also hating to be true. He saw how pale you were, your hair damp from cold sweat, your body warm. He drives you to the hospital.

As soon as he arrived, he immediately went for the emergency unit. Having you in his arms once again. Thankfully a nurse immediately came to his aid, leading him to a bed where you’ll be taken care of.

“I found her passing out in the office, her body was kinda warm-“

“Sir, please calm down, she’ll be okay” The nurse cut when she saw Jungkook frantic.

The doctor check you, your vitals and all. Jungkook can’t even remember what was what. All he remember was panic filling him, as he watched you being taken care of, he can’t find himself leaving you for some reason.

The doctor turned to him once she’s done. “Seems like she got a fever, and gastritis, has she been under any stress lately?” She asked.

“She’s been taking an unhealthy amount of overtime I admit, for months, diving into her work, and nowadays, or well since a month ago, she went home at almost midnight” Jungkook said.

The doctor shook her head. “Well, that needs to stop or it’s going to be more dangerous, I’m guessing that’s where her gastritis came from, it’s probably from the stress, so please take care of her Sir” she said. “It would be ideal if she take some day off for two or three days if possible” she added before she went to the other patients.

Jungkook took a seat beside your bed. Hands reaching for yours. His fingers brushing off the hair that was on your face, when he noticed you slowly opened your eyes. He gave you a smile. “Hello” he greeted.

You looked at him in confusion. “Jungkook?” You asked, voice hoarse. Jungkook hummed in response.

“Where are we?” You asked.

“Hospital” he answered nonchalantly. “You passed out in your office when I found you” he said.

You looked at his attire. He certainly doesn’t look like someone who was in the office. And seems like Jungkook noticed you were staring. And so he snorted. “No y.n, I didn’t work in this attire, I was from home” he said.

“Then w-“

“y.n!” A voice suddenly interrupted. Both you and Jungkook looked towards the intruder.

Chill running down your spine. You want nothing but leave the hospital as soon as you saw it. There you saw him.

Kim Taehyung.

Jungkook looked at the both of you. For some reason, he felt dumb to be here now. So he excused himself, leaving the two of you alone. He didn’t know that all you wanted was for him to stay, to keep you sane, and from tackling down the man that was intruding.

“What do you want?” You said, voice came colder than you mean to. You can’t even help it.

“Are you okay?” Taehyung asked. He stood near the corner of your bed, too scared to sit beside you. “I saw Jungkook held you from the office, and so something must be wrong” he added.

You rolled your eyes at the question. “Or maybe it could be that we’re dating, but whatever Taehyung, just go home and leave me alone” you said.

“I’m sorry…” he suddenly apologised.

You sat up on your bed, setting your feet down, and stood from your bed. “Well, I don’t really know what you’re apologising for, and we’re long done, and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Kim, have a great night” you said before you left him standing there, searching for Jungkook you went.

You immediately grab his hand when you found him, wanting nothing but going home at this point. “Let’s go home” you said to him, almost begging.

Jungkook looked at you. He laughed at how you look. You were hesitating to look back, afraid Taehyung would be there. “Don’t worry, he isn’t there” he said as you both walk towards the counter to pay.

“What makes you think I’m scared of him? I’m not!” You said.

“You’re not, but it’s clear that you just want to disintegrate when he’s in the same room as you” he joked.

You hit his arm playfully. “Just take me home, Jeon” you said.

You hate hospitals, but you have to admit, you missed joking around with Jungkook, even if it has to happened in a damn hospital.

‧₊˚✩彡.----‧₊˚✩彡.

You immediately went for your room once you arrived. You changed into your pyjamas, making yourself comfortable in your bed. You started to feel drowsy.

“You better keep your eyes open, because I’m going to cook you something y.n” Jungkook said while standing by the door of your bedroom.

You rolled your eyes. “God, is this what sleep paralysis like?” You joked.

Jungkook snorted at your words. “Not my fault, that someone had to work unhealthily, and now have a gastritis, I need to fill that tummy with some food, don’t I?” He teased you before he walked towards your kitchen.

He opened your refrigerator. Much to his luck, all he needed to do was reheat the food that your mother had sent. He reheat the chicken soup that was placed inside a thermos, before placing it into your bowl.

He went back to your room. He found you had fallen asleep. He hated to woke you up, but he had to. He gently shook your body, awaking you. You whined, wanting to sleep. “I’ll feed you, come on” he said. You opened your eyes grumpily, giving him your best death glare, and he chuckled.

“Why are you chuckling? You should be scared!” You whined.

“What makes you think I’m scared of you?” He asked back. His hand feeding you the soup.

And just like that, you fell into playful banter with him as he fed you. It’s almost like nothing had happened. And you both enjoy the moment while it lasts. Yet unspoken things left unspoken.

The next day, you felt kind of better. Thanks to the medication and Jungkook, you thought. Well, in fact, you felt lots better since forever. It’s like a heavy weight had been lifted off of you. For the first time in forever, you prepared your morning in a light mood, you found yourself humming softly to a song.

However, when you arrived at the office, you found Jungkook nagging at you. “Why are you here?” He said. You gave him a sheepish smile. You knew he told you not to come today, or even take a vacation to Europe or something.

“I’m doing my duty as an employee, sir” you said in a joking manner. Jungkook shook his head at you.

“I can see that, but I rather want it if you stay at home for a day or two” Jungkook said, playing along with you.

You hit his shoulder playfully. “I’m your boss, you brat!” You said. Jungkook laughed at you.

“Well boss, I’m sorry for this then” he said as he suddenly stop in his track.

Seeing him stopped make you stop to. Your head tilted in confusion. “For what?” You asked.

“For this” Jungkook said as he grabbed a hold of your shoulder, making you turn around, leading you towards the exit door of the lobby.

“Jeon Jungkook!” You yelled as he still pushed you, all while giggling. You didn’t try to resist him either.

“It’s doctor’s word y.n, not mine” he said in fake disappointment.

You pouted when you found yourself back at your car, with Jungkook sitting on the driver’s seat, and you on the passenger seat. “Jeon Jungkook I swear to god, won’t you let me work?” You said.

“And let you overwork yourself to the point of death? No ma’am” he said, eyes focused on the road.

“Aren’t you supposedly working too?!” You sulked still with a pout.

“Well, if it wasn’t for certain someone, I would” he said in a matter of fact tone. You chuckled. “Beside, I know you would bail me out” he added followed by a wink.

You fake choked at him. “Don’t you dare wink on me” you said. To your horror however, the boy winked even more. “I’m going to kick you out of my Benz, keep doing that Jeon” you fake-threatened him, caused him to laugh.

“Just be quiet, you’re going to like where we’re going” he said.

“Yeah… sure thing Jeon” you said. But truth be told, you were kind of excited. But then again, Jungkook had always been good at making the littlest thing seem exciting to you.

You chuckled when you recognised the street he took. “Really Jeon? You brought me to an amusement park? What are we? Five?” You said.

Jungkook gave you a cheeky smile. “What? Everyone loves amusement park y.n, you are just boring” he said.

You scowled at him, not one to be beaten. “Oh come on, I would rather be at the office and working than wasting my time” you said jokingly.

“Well, let’s see what you think when we arrived” he challenged.

You can’t help but feel giddy when you step off the car. It’s like you are a teenager all over again. Though you tried to hide it, not wanting Jungkook to know. Adrenaline and excitement filling you.

“Y.n, I can practically see how you’re shaking in excitement from here” Jungkook teased when you both queuing for the entrance ticket.

“Shut up Jeon, I haven’t gone to the amusement park since forever, let me live a little” you said. Your eyes wandered. For a moment, you feel like convincing your company to build one out of impulsiveness.

You grab Jungkook’s hand once you walked past the entrance. You immediately went for the shop. “Jungkook, let’s buy those cute bandanas!” You said excitedly. For the first time in forever, you feel like a child again, and honestly, you weren’t complaining.

You can’t see, but Jungkook had a bright smile. It’s been so long since he saw you smile genuinely. Your smile has been very business-like, something that was shown for publicity. Your eyes have been void of emotion. And that day, he saw some colours coming back to you, and truth be told, Jungkook felt more than happy to see that.

It’s the way you excitedly grab him to here and there, and Jungkook wasn’t even complaining. He complied to you. He let you lead him to anywhere. He laughed along as you seemingly can’t stop your giggles. It’s funny really, because he was in his shirt and dress pants, and you were also in formal attire, but the way you both act making people think that you were both some high schoolers.

It’s like you both didn’t even notice you were walking hand in hand.

“I’m sorry I keep grabbing you, it’s your turn to choose then” you said when you realised.

Jungkook turn his head towards you and hummed in response. “No problem, I love the rides, you are great at choosing them, should give it a thought to turn it into your profession” he said in a joking manner.

You shook your head. “Nah, that’d make it lose the fun” you said, playing along.

You both took a seat on a bench, ice cream in hand. You almost laughed at how it seems so cliche, coming straight out of rom-com series. But when you both let go of each other’s hand, you had to admit it feels strange. Strange that you feel somewhat… disappointed.

And just like that, you both stay silent, enjoying each other’s accompaniment. Both fell into a deep thought. Both has too many things to tell and yet too little courage.

“Penny for your thought?” Jungkook asked, breaking the silence.

You gave him a little smile. “It’s just… I never apologised” you said.

“For what?”

“For the things I’ve said or maybe even done, for hurting you, for even making you get away”

Jungkook stayed silent, no words come up in his mind.

You grabbed his hand again with both of yours. Your action caught his attention, as he now looking at you. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, for pushing you away, my ego was too big, and I was so selfish, so… I’m sorry” you said. Sincerity filling your eyes. Jungkook can’t help but gulp.

“It’s not all your fault you know” he said.

Your eyebrows raised in confusion. “What do you mean?” You asked,

“My job and my personal problems got too complicated, I broke things off with my… ex fiancée, my mind was in jumbled, so for that, I’m sorry too” he said.

You shook your head, still confused on why he was apologising. “Jungkook I’m sorry to hear that and you don’t need to apologise for-“

“I pushed you too, and I’m sorry for that, we both too focused on our own problems when we need was each other” he elaborated.

You nodded and chuckled. You felt like a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you sure Jungkook felt the same. “I feel better now that I’ve said it” you said.

Jungkook chuckled. “Same, all this time, I thought it’d be hard you know? But it was as simple as that” he added in.

You both looked at each other again. Smiling at each other. Fondness filling the both of you.

You don’t know who leaned in first, but before you know it, your lips were on each other. His enveloping yours. You were too stunned, you were surprised. Your feelings were once conflicted. Too many thoughts went pass your mind. But nevertheless you kissed him back for a moment before you pulled away.

“Not now, kook” you whispered, loud enough for him to hear. Jungkook nodded in understanding.

“Right, I’m sorry for that” he apologised, but you didn’t say anything. Your heart was beating too fast. A bubbling sensation in your stomach. You were afraid.

After that day, neither of you mention it. Things went back to normal. You both went back to how you both originally was. But the kiss, neither of you dare enough to mention it.

You must admit, something had changed. You can feel and see the fondness in Jungkook’s eyes every time you stare into them. You can feel how your heart skips a beat when you were with him. You can feel how it feels more intimate now. But still, neither of you said a thing. Both too scared to do anything. You and him both were scared of past trauma, despite being each other’s strength on overcoming.

‘Too fast’ you both thought.

Holding hands has now become a somewhat normalcy for you both. It’s like almost instinctual for you both to held hands when you were together. And yet, neither of you make a move. It’s how sometimes Jungkook would ruffled your hair, gives you forehead kisses, and your heart would do its thing that it hasn’t done since forever. It’s how you would play with his fingers, let him put his head on your lap when he hang out at your place, and his heart would race in its cage. It’s how you both make each other feels so alive after being so dead for long enough.

It was a rather normal morning. You were walking into your office. Your coffee in one hand and your bag in another. Your secretary greeted you as you walked into your office, you gave her a nod of acknowledgement. You had to admit you missed seeing Jungkook in her seat, but maybe distance would do you good. Especially with the rather intimacy you both have now.

Once you open the door to your office however, a strangely pleasant scent filling your sense. At first you didn’t notice it as, but then as you start walking closer towards your desk, the stronger the scent had become, the clearer the sight of the source.

It was a bouquet of flowers. A bouquet of gardenia, to be exact.

Your eyes widened. You search for any clue on who might be the sender was. But no notes were given. You peeked out from your office door, caught your secretary’s attention.

“Have you seen anyone walking into my office before me?” You asked.

Your secretary shook her head in response. “No, ma’am” she said.

You went back into your office, questions appearing in your head. You admitted you were somewhat hoping it’d be from the person you had in mind.

You talked to Jungkoook about it when he drove you back home. You pouted as you were a curious person, who would be evil enough to keep such secrets, knowing very well you are curious in nature.

“It’s so evil you know! Do you have any idea on who might this… secret admire might be?” You asked.

Jungkook chuckled in response. “How would I know y.n? I don’t work in the same floor with you anymore” he said.

“Still… I’m hoping that you would know” you said, pouting once again.

I’m hoping it’d be you.

The next week, another bouquet was placed on top of your desk. This time however, it’s a bouquet of pansy.

You smiled at the thought. Once again you told Jungkook about it, and he only laugh in response. He was being too passive about it and that made your suspicion of the sender being him intensified. But you said nothing, playing along with his strange reaction.

The next week, another bouquet appeared before you. You sighed and grabbed it. This time, it was a bouquet of amaryllis.

Once again, you told Jungkook about it. And again, Jungkook gave you a passive reaction, compared to his reaction about other things. At this point, you just wanted him to come out, he was acting strange about the whole thing, and this make you even more sure that he was the sender. But you said nothing.

The next week, you planned to go earlier to work. That way, maybe you could caught the culprit in action. You were excited, because now you were more than sure you’re going to caught this person.

Oh, how surprised were you when arrived.

Not only there was a bouquet of white chrysanthemum, this time however, the bouquet comes along with the sender.

There was sitting on your office couch, Jeon Jungkook, with a bouquet in his hand.

He stood up when you arrived. He rubbed the back of his neck as he once again felt nervous. He swore he was prepared, but then you came, and there goes his nerve.

You chuckled as you walked closer to him. “You want to explain something, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked.

He chuckled back. “I know you probably know it’s me, but let’s pretend that you don’t” he said. His eyes now staring into yours. You both can’t help but break into a smile, heart soaring. You both giggled as you keep staring into each other.

Jungkook placed the bouquet on your desk before he grab a hold of your hands. His eyes staring onto your hands that were in his. You chose to stare at him in adoration.

“Would you go on a date with me?” He asked.

You break into giggles once again. The happiness in your heart can’t be contained any longer. “I don’t know Jungkook, would I?” You teased.

Jungkook laughed and threw his head back. “Aw damn, you make me real nervous, you know that” he joked before his eyes stare back into yours.

You gave him a bright smile. You swore you never smile this bright after the whole fiasco in your life. “Sure, I’ll clock out at 5” you said.

“Great, I can’t wait” Jungkook said, giddiness filling him. “See you then, y.n”

You shook your head as he made his way out of your office. You chuckled. It finally really went to this you thought.

You just really can’t focus on your meetings really. Not when all that you thought about was the date you have later with Jungkook. And it doesn’t help that Jungkook is out there, sending you messages, knowing very well you were in a meeting. But you weren’t complaining, the meeting was rather unproductive anyway.

As soon as the clock hit 5, you immediately out of your seat. You were almost embarrassed at how quickly you fly out of your seat. Your secretary flinched the door to your office was opened, revealing you, with your bag in hand. You never went out of work this early in her whole time with you.

“Good thing that I decide to go early today, have a nice evening Lisa!” You said to her before you made your way towards the lift.

You were honestly nervous. You were never this excited for a date. Who would have thought that you will go on a date with Jeon Jungkook? No one! Not even you!

Well maybe your coworkers would disagree.

You waited for him as you sat on the couch at the lobby. You played with your phone as the time keep passing. You grew more nervous as Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. His hair strand is out of your sight and you were rather… scared.

And so you decided to messaged him.

you, 5:15pm: Hey, we’re still on right? I’m waiting at the lobby :)

you, 5:20pm: do you have a meeting? discussion? Come heeere im lonely :(

And yet your messages went unread. Your chest deflated. Your start to grow more anxious. Did you really just get ditched? You can’t help but feel that disappointment come over you. Your thoughts went everywhere, thinking about the negative possibilities of what was happening.

Kookie, 5:32pm: Sorry, I have an emergency, let’s reschedule it

Well now you really were disappointed. You feel like shame is running down your body. You were excited for nothing. You waited for nothing. You’re going to end this not really fine Friday night with your rose wine back at your too-big-for-one penthouse.

You walked solemnly towards your car. You were a little bit pissed to be honest, but you tried to understand. Jungkook was busy, and you tried to understand, it could be his family matter for all you care.

But the sight at the parking lot however, now that made you feel foolish. Now you ended up with feeling betrayed. Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse.

There Jungkook, with his supposedly ex-fiancée. You didn’t know what they were talking about, and honestly you were scared to find out what. They could be talking about getting back together.

You felt a pang in your heart. This feel like a deja vu. You felt like the other person in someone else’s relationship again. You just want to get out of there as soon as possible. It didn’t help really that Jungkook had to be in the vicinity where if you walk towards your car, he’d notice.

And so you did. You brace yourself. Now you really need that wine. You could see Jungkook noticing your presence from your peripheral view as you walked. You really tried to pretend like he wasn’t there.

But of course he made it difficult for you.

“y.n-“

“Just… you don’t have to explain okay? I get it Jungkook” you cut. You really don’t want to hear his explanation. You were scared you would be hurt once again… more than you already were.

And so you did. You went into your car without letting him say a word other than your name.

You really hate how your Friday night turn out. Here you were, heart broken, heart fill with disappointment and hurt all over again. This is so familiar to you, and it left a rather bitter taste in your mouth. You were the third person all over again, the one that get in the way.

And yet you feel ridiculous. Jungkook wasn’t even your boyfriend, and this make you feel undeserving for feeling this way.

Your house doorbell ringing woke you from your trance. You tightened your night robe a you walk towards the door. You didn’t bother to check your monitor intercom for some reason.

But the person behind the door was someone you didn’t expect to be. In fact, you don’t expect him to ever come here, ever, again.

“What are you doing here Kim Taehyung?” You asked, your voice cold and yet tired.

“I remember I have some documents left- wait, are you okay?” He asked as he noticed that your eyes were a little bit puffy.

You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Get it another day, when I’m not home” you said. You were about to close the door on him when he put his foot in between, not letting you.

“Kim Taehyung, just fucking go” you hissed.

“Not before you tell me what’s going on because I know damn well you were over our things”

“Not your fucking business! We are over as soon as you said those damn word, don’t you get it? I want nothing to do with you! Or anyone, so please just go!” You bursted.

But Taehyung didn’t even flinch. “You are hurting, who hurt you?” He asked.

“Taehyung please just go, I’m tired okay?”

“It was Jungkook, wasn’t it?”

You froze. Hearing his name was somehow create reaction out of you. But you quickly recover. “Once again, not your business” you said. You attempted to close the door again, but Taehyung held it again.

“So it was him, what did he do?” Taehyung asked, for some reason you noticed that he sounded a little bit pissed, and you hated yourself for noticing that.

“Fuck off Kim Taehyung, just go, it’s seriously none of your business” you said, voice as cold as ever. Now Taehyung knew that he really need to go. And so he did. He finally back off.

Jungkook was distressed. He went home that night, feeling rather distressed. It wasn’t helping that you deliberately ignoring his messages. You were misunderstanding the situation and he didn’t know how to explain it to you. His phone ringing caused him to break out of his trance.

Kim Taehyung, 9:28pm: What did you do to y.n?

Kim Taehyung, 9:28pm: You know what? I don’t even want to know. She was my bestfriend at one point, and I messed up, so let me help to fix whatever it is happening between you two

Jungkook sighed. Getting a message from your ex husband was clearly something he wasn’t expecting. He expect the night to end with a smile on his face, or maybe get some kisses, but now here he was with lots of explaining to do.

Jungkook, 9:30pm: She saw me with my ex-fiancee, my ex fiancee want to get back together, but I don’t, but I guess she didn’t hear me saying that, I just, I don’t know hot to explain that to her

Kim Taehyung, 9:35pm: huh, I thought it’d be more complicated than that lmao

Kim Taehyung, 9:35pm: She loves flower and a damn good explanation though

It was eight in the morning when Jungkook found himself standing at your doorway, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Hand hesitating to ring the doorbell. He keeps reciting on what he’s going to say, and yet that doesn’t calm his nerve. But then he heard footsteps, walking towards the door. Call him a coward but he found himself putting the bouquet before the doorway before running away to hide himself. His hiding position was also perfect for him to see you.

You opened your door, about to go on morning run. Then you feel it that the door had pushed something that was on its way. You look down, finding the bouquet of flowers. You kneel before it, smile making its way, painting your face. Unlike the bouquets from before, it was mixed, from the very first flower you received which was gardenia, to the latest which was white chrysanthemum.

“Cute” you muttered to yourself.

You got up and looked around, secretly wishing that Jungkook would still be here.

“Jungkook?” You called out, hoping that you wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself. You swore you’d be damn embarrassed if he ended up being there.

Jungkook came out from his hiding place when you called his name. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit that you noticed he did when he’s nervous. He walked closer to you. You only smiled at him.

“Hi?” You greeted. For some reason, seeing him here being all shy made you forgot about what happened yesterday, you can only hope he was here to bring you some good news.

“Hi” he greeted back, eyes finally looking into yours. “I’m sorry for yesterday, I’m sorry that I had to bail on you” he started.

“It’s okay kook, I-“

“No y.n, you misunderstood the situation, my ex was there because she suddenly said that she wanted to get back together, but I want none of that, okay” he said in one breathe. “I only want you now, and what was in the past… it’s all in the past now” he continued.

You chuckled. Truthfully, Taehyung actually messaged you about this last night, but you don’t have the heart to tell him that, beside, it’s nice to see him all flustered and nervous.

Your chuckle apparently got him confuse. Because why were you chuckling? He remembered you look rather disappointed last night. Were you going to reject him now? He was rather nervous hearing you chuckle.

“Jungkook-“

“I understand if you don’t want this anymore but-“

“Jungkook, look at me” you cut before he can rambled off.

He stopped talking and look at you intently. You smiled once again, his nervousness was so apparent in his face. You want to tease him but clearly he was in misery, and you want to erase that trouble for him.

So you leaned into him. You put both of your hands onto his cheeks, and pulled him closer to you.

You planted a kiss on his lips. A sweet peck. A smile making its way onto your face as you kissed him. Jungkook was freezing on his place, to say that he was surprised was an understatement. But he was quick to recover, he immediately kissed you back, smiling into the kiss.

“I knew” you whispered as you both pulled away.

“What?” Jungkook asked, a smile still painting his face.

“Taehyung told me about what happened, so I knew, but it was fun to see you all shy and nervous” you said in a teasing manner, making him scowled at you.

“Oh come on, my heart almost dropped to the floor when I heard you were chuckling, I thought you were going to reject me” he said. He sighed in relief at the outcome.

You grabbed his hand before you pulled him into the comfort of your home.

“I don’t know kook, I’m rather lazy to go on my morning run now, do you want to cuddle me instead?” You asked in a fake naive tone.

Jungkook chuckled and shook his head. “You, how was that even allowed to come out of your mouth really?” He said, before he leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss.

Epilogue

You were bored out of your mind. This kind of gala is really not your thing. You’d rather spent your night at your bedroom, cuddling with Jungkook. And that was almost the thing that you’d do if it wasn’t for Jungkook dragging you into the gala, and it’s funny really because the invitation was under your name, and he was your plus one. Or as Jungkook said, “It’s rude to not come, y.n”. You knew he was only convinced to come for the free food and champagne, although he denied this.

“Jungkook, come on, let’s go home, I’d rather cuddle you on my bed than be here” you whined into his ear.

“Five more minutes y.n, come on” he told you.

“Okay but you better repay me with some ice cream” you huffed.

And that’s exactly what you were getting on your way back to your penthouse. Jungkook deliberately made a stop on your favourite ice cream parlour.

“You’re the best, you know that?” You said as you dived into your ice cream.

Jungkook watched you with a fond smile on his face. His heart was just so full of love. Seeing you adorably euphoric on the taste of the ice cream, it was a sight for the sore eyes really.

“I love you, you know that?” He said out of nowhere.

You stopped eating your ice cream, giving him a sweet smile. “Uhuh, I love you too boo” you said, your voice was a pitch higher.

He chuckled and shook his head. “I know your birthday is still in a few days but… I think I’m just going to give this to you now” he said.

You raised an eyebrow at him, your ice cream is now abandoned. “You don’t have to get me anything kook” you said.

Jungkook sit closer to you, then he pulled out something from his blazer. It looks like a velvet box, and there’s only one thing that you can conclude. “I feel like I know where this is going” you said with a chuckle.

Jungkook looked back at you, chuckling along with you. “You do?” He asked.

“Yep” you answered, popping the ‘P’.

He took your hand into his. His bigger one enveloping yours, and it feels so warm, you don’t want to let go, ever.

“Then, what’s your answer? Would you marry me?” He asked, eyes staring into yours.

You break into giggles. Your palms reaching for his face, pulling him closer to you. You kissed him and smile into the kiss. Jungkook put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer more than you already were, deepening the kiss in the process.

“Of course I would” you said into the kiss.

a/n: I’M BACK! Hello friends! I’m very sorry for the long hiatus, school had been extremely hectic :( also this is my first writing in forever, so i apologise if it’s bad ;-; but I’m happy to be back!

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #bts #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts angst #kpop #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop imagine #kpop scenario

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saybees · 4 years ago

Text

Some rather personal and tmi stuff, but I feel like I need to get it out somewhere and I don’t have anyone I really feel I can talk to about this now. It’s very long.

I’d like to start by saying that if you’re reading this please don’t tell me to just dump him. It isn’t that simple and it just isn’t helpful to say that to me.

So Jon and I have had issues in the past with porn. Jon has a porn addiction. I didn’t discover this until maybe a year into our relationship when I walked into the bathroom one day and he was watching porn and masturbating. At first I was more shocked than anything and didn’t know how to react, but it quickly turned into feeling really hurt.

I tried to talk to him about it and told him that it bothered me that he was doing that and it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and our sex was too boring for him. It made me feel so inadequate that he had to go somewhere else for that stuff. He didn’t see the issue with it and because porn has become so normalized in our society and he has maintained that he doesn’t understand why it’s an issue for me, despite that I have explained to him many times that it really bothers me and makes me feel shitty. It feels like cheating.

Eventually I asked him to leave the bathroom door open when he goes in there because I didn’t really trust him. That didn’t stop him, however, and he continued to masturbate to porn in the bathroom even though the door was cracked open. I caught him and was really upset. It hasn’t happened again since I caught him with the door open.

I can’t even count how many times we have had this conversation/argument. It just hurts a lot and I really am so tired of having this talk with him. I asked my therapist that I used to see if I was being unreasonable and she said I wasn’t. She fully agreed with me that I wasn’t asking too much of him to stop doing it.

He doesn’t do it at home anymore, but I’m pretty sure he does when he’s at work. He’ll take a washroom break and very likely will do it then because he accidentally let it slip recently that he still masturbates. He tried very hard to redirect and I pretended I didn’t notice, but it’s been eating at me.

It wouldn’t bother me so much if he didn’t have a porn problem. I just feel like he doesn’t find me attractive or sexy. We don’t have sex very often at all and I pretty much always have to initiate it, which reinforces those feelings that I’m not what he wants. I don’t feel sexy enough or pretty enough and I’ve always had issues with feeling like I have an ugly face so this really makes it worse.

He used to follow lots of Instagram models, but has since unfollowed a lot of them, although there are still two at least that I’m pretty sure are Instagram models. Their accounts are private and I’m not going to follow them to find out what’s up. I’ll only hurt my own feelings even more than I did just going through the list of people he follows on Instagram.

I know I should talk to him about it again, but I am just so sick of having this conversation with him. Neither of us want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to because he feels guilty about it (obviously, since he has been hiding it) and I don’t want to talk about it anymore because the whole thing just makes me feel so terrible.

There was one incident where Jon had downloaded Tinder behind my back and he was showing me something on his phone when a notification popped up and it turned into me feeling like he was cheating and I cried and then he cried and it was a whole thing. He deleted it and hasn’t done anything like that since, but he didn’t include on his profile that he was in a relationship and wouldn’t give me an explanation as to why and he just wouldn’t say much other than that he wanted to make friends and talk to people, but it was just horrible and traumatic for me and for some reason I let him convince me that he was genuine and I stayed, although I really question that decision sometimes because it still deeply bothers me and I’m not entirely convinced he wouldn’t cheat on me after that. I just have a very hard time trusting him after the Tinder thing and the porn stuff. And I just feel like we didn’t really get to the bottom of that whole issue, but it feels like it was too long ago to talk about it again despite that it still bothers me.

I know we have to talk about it more, but I just don’t want to fucking do this anymore. I’m exhausted.

We might be moving to a different place in town here at some point and if he does end up buying another house I’m going to have to talk to him about this and if he isn’t willing to give up porn completely then I won’t be moving with him and I’ll stay in our current rental and we will be done because I know I will not be happy being with him for the rest of our lives if he can’t quit porn and I’ll always have to worry about it.

I did some googling and found countless articles of women (and others) saying they felt shitty that their men/partners watched porn behind their backs. So many other people who feel the same as I do and have been damaged by this kind of thing. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this, but it’s so terrible that so many people feel like this. It hurts a lot.

I’ve done some light research on the negative effects of porn and it really does seem to be very harmful, particularly for relationships. And I know he has been watching porn since he was very young, he’s talked to me about it before. I do truly believe porn is incredibly harmful and it is FAR too easy to get access to it. I feel like porn has hurt our relationship and our sex life a lot.

For our anniversary one year I even did a boudoir shoot by myself at home and made him a little book with sexy photos of me and gave it to him and he said he loved it, but he hasn’t looked at it since I gave it to him. That’s a real punch to the gut.

There was one other incident where our one friend, a lesbian, sent him and a few others a snapchat video of her making out with another girl that he used to hang out with when they were younger and they weren’t wearing tops (this girl is wild and does all kinds of stupid shit when she drinks, which is all the time) and he saved it for later. I found out because she had called him crying because someone she sent it to recorded it and sent it around to other people and everybody found out about it and this other girl had a boyfriend, but anyway he told me what was going on and he went to pull it up to show me, but she had deleted it and he told me he had saved it. I asked why and at first he lied and said he saved it so she could see it later and maybe think about what she had done, but I saw through that pretty quick. Eventually he admitted to me that he had fantasized about a threesome with those two girls and that’s why he saved it. This was not too long ago. Like late 2020. I was mad and needed some time to think and told him we would talk about it, but eventually I just told him that I didn’t want to have this discussion again (which I shouldn’t have done because I let him off the hook basically) and that if he felt like he needed to hide something from me that should be enough to know he shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. With that he said okay and we never talked about it again.

I just feel like I’m putting a lot into this relationship and he isn’t being considerate of me here. He makes excuses as to why he feels like he has to get off all the time and that it helps him wake up in the mornings or that he functions better once he’s done it (untrue, he functions the same no matter what) and it drives me up a wall that he will choose that over having sex with me?????? Like, hi hello I am a human woman(adjacent) and I am willing to have sex with you literally whenever you want!!!!!! And you’ll still choose watching porn and jerking off instead??????????????????????! Yeah, I totally feel like you want me. I totally feel loved and feel like you find me attractive. Yep. You watch porn of women who are a million times more beautiful and sexy than I will ever be and they do things I could never do or just don’t want to do and you’ll choose that over ME and tell me that you do think I’m attractive and sexy and that you love me, but you hardly actually prove that to me.

He doesn’t call me pretty unless I basically ask him to, which sucks because if I ask for the compliment it doesn’t feel real, but if I don’t ask I’ll never hear it. He is quite affectionate with me generally, cuddling up and stuff, holding my hand sometimes when driving, that type of stuff, but I almost never hear him, unprompted, tell me I’m pretty.

I don’t know, it just really bothers me and of course I have to be feeling like this right in the morning when I have a ton of school work I should do. I just feel really sad now. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I don’t know who to go to for advice. My best buddy Ryan is having kinda the same issue with his girlfriend, but they both watch porn (they don’t live together like Jon and I do) and she has been feeling insecure about Ryan’s porn habits, but she also watches porn and I know they had a talk about it all the other day, but I don’t feel like it’s any of my business to ask how it went or anything because it just straight up isn’t, but Ryan is who I have primarily talked to about this whole thing and he’s been very sympathetic to me about it and idk I just don’t know what to do or who to turn to. The last time I talked to my therapist it was about this whole thing and she basically told me to do my own research and that she didn’t have anything else to say to me about it (because we had talked about it multiple times) and that felt really shitty and like I wasn’t allowed to still be having this issue so I stopped going to her and haven’t seen anyone else since.

I love him a lot, I really do, and we get along really well, usually, but this just hurts a lot and I know I should never have put up with as much as I have. I should have set more boundaries and been firmer with them. It feels so fucking bad that he’s done this time and time again and gone behind my back with this shit and I keep talking to him about it and it keeps happening.

I’ve mostly avoided talking about this here because it feels so personal and gross and like I shouldn’t talk about it (that’s that Christian guilt). I hate that society makes sex and related issues to be such a dirty topic and that we can’t talk about it because I feel really alone and shitty about this. I try to push it down and ignore it, but it’s so hard to do and I’m just really sad...

#personal #this whole thing makes me feel so fucking bad #i'm really sad rn #this whole thing makes me so anxious and i just don't want to deal with it at all anymore #but i know i need to because it'll just keep eating away at me if i don't deal with it

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years ago

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Out of My League (Midoriya Izuku X Reader X Bakugou Katsuki) PART 4

PART 4 to PART 3: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/189764193989/out-of-my-league-midoriya-izuku-x-reader-x

Taglist: @dailyojiromashirao, @asja-the-hoarder, @breezy-chan11414, @captainw0lfy, @sunflowergem, @lenkiryuu

Summary: Izuku and Bakugo attempt to make you feel better after the video of you goes viral and humiliates you.

What could a guy like me ever really offer? She's perfect as she can be Why should I even bother?

'Cause she's so high High above me She's so lovely She's so high Like Cleopatra Joan of Arc or Aphrodite... She's so high High above me...

‘She’s So High’- Tal Bachman

A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO…

You didn’t know what was going on though, you just ran to your house, threw your bags to the ground and flipped your shoes off and threw yourself into bed to sob, tears freely streaming down your hot, sweaty face as you cried so hard that no sound came out.

You weren’t going to the dance… you couldn’t…

NOW…

You were just sitting in your bed, remote in your hand alongside your favorite snacks with a dull look on your face. Somehow you mustered up the strength to get your favorite snacks like Oreos and (O/F/S) only to crawl back into bed so you could watch a marathon of Friends, Game of Thrones and even one of your favorite movies.

Of course you had the strength to get snacks, after all, now you were just the Fat Girl from that video that had just been uploaded of you a couple of hours ago and went viral. You didn’t dare look at the comments but you could practically hear the rest of the world laughing at you.

Might as well spend the rest of your life inside your house, stockpile all the junk foods and drinks you liked so you could just watch TV. That was kinda something you had planned on your list anyway should being a hero not work out.

You ignored all the calls and text messages you were getting on your phone, at least until the credits from Game of Thrones played after you saw Ned Stark get his head cut off. Picking up your phone you looked over at the messages and got like 40 different texts and your (E/C) eyes widened slightly.

That was officially the biggest number of text messages you had ever received in your life and it shocked you, and then there was like 10 missed calls.

Aww… of course they were from Izuku and Hagakure. Some from Bakugo too… and Yaoyorozu for that matter. It made sense that Izuku, Hagakure and Yaoyorozu wanted to call you, Bakugo was a surprise…

The text messages were from nearly all your classmates, but especially Izuku, Hagakure, Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Kirishima and Iida.

‘Please don’t feel too bad (Y/N).’

‘Don’t listen to those jerks! Really! They’re just jealous!’

‘(L/N) please come back to the dorms, we all want to talk to you.’

‘It’s okay (Y/N)! It really wasn’t that bad!’

‘Those a-holes are just a-holes trying to get attention! Don’t let them bring you down (L/N), you’re awesome!’

‘(L/N) I would like it if you were to return to the dorms because frankly we need a discussion and I promise as your class rep that I will do everything I can to protect you from getting harassed.’

You heavily sighed at all of these messages, as much as it touched your heart, there was just no way you could return to see them all. You couldn’t face them after that video showed off just how much of a gross, fat, ugly pig you really were. Who were you kidding trying to feel beautiful for a change? Obviously, you weren’t, so you blamed nobody but yourself for this.

And you groaned when you got yet another call, not from Izuku, but from Bakugo. Which was shocking because he hasn��t called you in over 9 years. Come to think of it, why did you even still have his number? And why did he even still have YOUR number? Wasn’t he the one who always said how gross you were? Unless he’s so entitled that only HE can call you gross?

Typical…

You ended the call the more you thought about it. It was going to piss him off of course, but at this point you just wanted to watch the Season 1 finale of Game of Thrones and then watch (Y/F/M). And you weren’t surprised when you got yet another phone call from Bakugo, which you again, ignored.

‘DON’T FUCKING HANG UP MY CALLS SHITTY GIRL!’

Then came the text you couldn’t ignore after his calls failed to reach you, and then you sighed in annoyance. Clearly nobody was going to stop bothering you unless you answered them, so you put in a group-messaging text to everyone.

‘I’m not going back to the dorms and I’m not going back to school.’

You almost felt bad for texting them all of that but you refused to face them all after that, and you definitely weren’t going back to school. Hell, this alone was probably going to make the school look bad given that someone was bound to recognize your face from the Sports Festival since you made it somewhat high enough. Well, actually now you remembered it all. That’s where you knew Shinsou from…

You were on his team in the cavalry race with Aoyama and Ojiro, except for some reason he didn’t brainwash you like he did the other two. So that’s why you remembered him, you didn’t speak much that time, but now you knew each other a little better.

Damn… no someone was going to notice you and you were going to make the school look bad…

Sighing you lied your head back down onto the pillow as you listened to the opening theme song of Game of Thrones and hummed along with it.

Yeah, this was peaceful. This was where you belonged, not with your super cool and attractive friends. And not with Izuku, or Bakugo for that mattered. You were never really as good as they were, no matter how hard you tried you could never get on their level. Not just in terms of power but in overall demeanor, you weren’t society’s idea of beautiful, and you weren’t hero society’s idea of strong enough because you weren’t going to conform to their idea of beautiful because apparently all the heroines needed to be sexy.

That wasn’t you.

You sighed as you looked at the pictures you had taken of yourself, how ‘sexy’ you looked and ‘cool’ you thought you were being the whole time.

“That’s not me.”

Shaking your head, you put your phone down, even though at the same time you remembered what some of your friends said to you.

“I think you look very powerful (L/N).”

“YES! You ARE. You’re pretty (Y/N)! And you’re gonna show everyone!”

“That’s awesome! Now all seven of us can go to the dance feeling good!”

“If there’s… anyone who can take care of yourself… it’s you (Y/N).”

Aoyama, Hagakure, Ashido, Izuku…

Kind souls, and then the other girls, especially Yaoyorozu, were so kind to you. They weren’t like the other girls who mocked you for your shape, eating habits and taste in fashion. You felt so bad for just leaving them but… how could you return? Even though their words and encouragement made you feel good, you liked how it felt. You liked feeling powerful and pretty like Aoyama and Hagakure said you were, and how Ashido and Yaoyorozu included you with the other girls for when you attend the dance.

And Izuku, he never once patronized you, he seemed to believe that you were good enough, of course you knew deep down that you didn’t need to have him think you were good enough for him, but still… it was nice knowing that he saw something in you that you couldn’t see for yourself.

It was nice… but… right now you were still sad, and wanted to be sad for a little while longer.

But then your phone blared up again and it wasn’t Bakugo again, instead it was Izuku. God you wanted to talk to him just so you wouldn’t feel like a jerk about not answering but you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him either. So you didn’t answer him, and instead just let your phone ring and give you everyone’s texts that you didn’t answer.

THE NEXT DAY...

Getting up to go to school was the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life thus far, today specifically because the video was still popular and people were still laughing about it. So you left your house and walked into school with an oversized hoodie to cover yourself up, not just your face, but your body so none of the girls could make fun of you.

Somehow, entering the dorms once again was even harder than coming to school, because many of your classmates jumped to see a ‘mysterious figure’ come in.

“Hey! Who are you this isn’t your-“Kaminari at first thought you were someone else until Sero nudged him and whispered, ‘It’s (L/N)’ and he stopped with an awkward ‘oh’.

“(L/N)!”

“Are you okay?!”

“You didn’t answer any of our messages!”

Several of your classmates, particularly the girls and Bakugo’s crew kinda came over to see if you were okay but all you did was keep your hoodie around you so they didn’t have to look at you. “Classmates, please don’t crowd her, I’m certain it’s the last thing she wants.” Iida came to the rescue, but you knew he was going to remark on what you were wearing.

“Now (L/N)… I understand you must not be in the best of moods but… why are you wearing that? It’s not part of the school dress code.” He was gentler about it, but you weren’t really planning on listening to him should he tell you to take it off.

“To be candid Iida, I’m gross and fat and my body’s disgusting.” You replied to him softly, eyes downcast as he gave you a look of sympathy. He didn’t know what kind of deviant posted that video but he wished he did so he could deal with them himself for humiliating his dear classmate like that.

“(L/N)… is it because of the video? Please don’t let that kind of juvenile thing get to you.” He tried to remain gentle, because he didn’t like seeing you like this, but underestimated how crappy that video made you feel.

“No… it’s not just the video… it just… finally let me give myself a hard look in the mirror.” You shrugged your shoulders and admitted, and before Iida, Yaoyorozu or any of the others could reassure that’s when Izuku rushed into the common room.

“(Y/N)?! (Y/N) are you in here?!” He almost didn’t notice you because of the hoodie you wore to hide yourself as your eyes went wide and you kept your visage away from your friend. Oblivious to a nervous Kaminari pointing at you to let Izuku know that you were right there.

“(Y/N)… h-hey are you okay…?” He normally wasn’t the one who got so close, but he wanted to see you. Izuku’s been so worried since the video made you run out of the mall like that, and then you didn’t answer his calls or his texts, he almost feared the worse.

And you knew that he must have been worried sick so you finally answered him, ““I’m fine.” You muttered and shook your head, “If you think it has something to do with that video, it doesn’t. What makes you think I care about what those jackoffs even think?” That came off a bit colder than you intended but just thinking about that video made you mad as hell.

“I-I don’t but… y-you just looked so upset a-and I tried calling you and… I-I got worried, I just… please look I don’t want you to think that that video changes the way anyone here looks at you because it doesn’t.” Was the first thing he said because he was well aware of how self-conscious you were about your appearance and how people looked at you even if you always pretended like you didn’t care. He knew it based on the fact that you were wearing this hoodie just to hide.

“Hey! Shitty Girl! I know you’re here, stop hiding already!” Before Izuku could even finish talking, you and him perked up and gasped when you heard Bakugo’s voice and saw him coming over once he loudly entered the commons.

“K-Kacchan…”

“Ugh…” You looked away more and further pulled your hoodie down when you expected Bakugo to yell at you, and he did, “You ignored all my phone calls last night idiot! What the hell is that all about?! Just because a bunch of assholes made a video about you don’t mean you can just ignore me!”

You narrowed your eyes, obviously he was trying to help and shockingly he WANTED to help, but you didn’t know how to really respond to that properly. “I didn’t want to be pitied.”

Bakugo outright laughed at your response and you understood why since you were doing that to yourself, “You’re already doing that to yourself you moron! Look at yourself! Take this damn thing off!” And he roughly pulled the hoodie down just so he could see your face even if it made you cringe and nervously blush in embarrassment, but you still found it in you to glare at him.

“Are you really going to let this get to you? Are you seriously going to hide just because of that?” He was partially aware of how your feelings could get easily hurt at times, because he’s the one who’s done that to you in the past, but that didn’t mean he’d let anyone else do that.

“Yeah, I am.” And you remembered all the times he did that to you, but when you said that Bakugo just looked even madder, “Seriously (Y/N)? What happened to Ms. ‘Too cool to give a shit about what anyone thinks of me’?”

Despite everything, Bakugo respected that you didn’t care about what you looked like, how you came off to people, and what other people thought of you, and that included him. So, it was a little shocking to see you like this. Well… actually not that shocking, but he didn’t really want to remember the times where he noticed that some of his remarks in middle school and elementary school no doubt hurt the feelings he would pretend that you didn’t have.

“Hey… come on Kacchan…” Izuku knew you a little bit better than that though, at least, he secretly told himself that because he knew Bakugo didn’t entirely know about what emotional turmoil you suffered from at times since Bakugo drifted away from you and him until UA.

“Fuck off Deku!” But Bakugo was quick to shout at his childhood friend as you scoffed and rolled your eyes, all these years and he was STILL mean to Izuku. “Wowwww…” And your louder than normal voice caught their attention as Bakugo paused before he could yell at Izuku anymore.

“First off Katsuki, you really haven’t changed, second, it’s easy to pretend to be Ms. ‘Too cool to give a shit about what anyone thinks of me’ than it is to actually not give a shit about what anyone thinks of me. I CAN actually not give a shit, but sometimes I just do all right? I wish I didn’t but I do and it fucking sucks… this fucking sucks.” You still weren’t looking at either of your friends, and it pissed Bakugo off to no end.

“You shouldn’t even care though! All those damn extras who do stupid shit like this all do it for the sake of attention for the sake of getting rid of the boredom in their pathetic lives!”

He was right, and you knew it, but it didn’t mean you weren’t going to just stop feeling humiliated and upset as you refused to let the tears in your eyes fall as you wiped at them angrily. “You’re telling ME not to care?” You laughed a little bit which genuinely shocked him, “You? Famous Katsuki Bakugo? You can’t tell me not to care about what people think of me. I mean… you’re embarrassed to be seen with me Katsuki, you always have been, especially in middle school where I was just something for you to mock and belittle.”

So, you did remember, and although his rough exterior hid it well, Bakugo did feel guilty knowing that he DID treat you pretty badly, but he refused to let you think being seen with you embarrassed him, even if it did a little bit. “No, I’m not! Don’t just assume things!”

“You and I both know it’s not an assumption. Come on Katsuki… I can’t even remember the last time we had an actual conversation until yesterday, I only talk to your friends because they’re nice enough to actually talk to me. Which honestly shocks me because people like me don’t get talked to by people like them, or people like you.” You told him a hard truth, because he WAS embarrassed to be seen with you, but only recently has he started to feel bad about it. And he couldn’t stop just HOW bad he was feeling about it as he growled and stared at you angrily, but all that anger wasn’t at you, it was at himself. He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that you were right, or the fact that he was so terrible to you that you couldn’t even pretend to act like you didn’t care.

“(Y/N)…” Sensing the tension, Izuku tried to lessen it by reaching out to you but you weren’t even looking at him either, “I’m sure it’s not like that I mean-.”

“Yes, it is Izuku… you know it too, and honestly, I don’t get why you still talk to me to be honest… because… people like me don’t hang out with people like you either.”

This shocked Izuku, he’s never seen you or heard you talk to him like this, not once. “I-I don’t understand, what are you talking about? What makes you think that you can’t hang out with me? We’re friends…”

“Maybe… but even then, you’ve always been cooler than me Izuku. Don’t deny it, ever since we got into UA you’ve gotten better, stronger and cooler, and I’ve been under the radar. Under you.” You said as you averted your eyes as Izuku gasped quietly and continued to look at you in shock. Is that really what you’ve been thinking about him all this time?

“I’m nothing compared to the two of you, so just… go… this is an issue people like me deal with, not you guys.” You said softly, sadly as Izuku looked at you sadly and Bakugo growled and glared at you.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean huh? People like you?” He couldn’t believe you were saying this stuff about yourself, were you really this insecure? And did he play a factor in that…?

“It means you’re WAY out of my league.” Finally, you looked at him, anger sparked in your (E/C) eyes which made his eyes widen slightly when he recalled the time he told you those exact words. “Remember?” You snickered and shook your head, “You said it yourself Katsuki, I’m a fucking dork, and I’m gross, and I’ve known that, it’s true. I’m not ashamed to admit that, and you know what? I also know that you wouldn’t dance with me if I was the last girl on earth, I’ve always known that… I was just stupid enough to believe that maybe, just MAYBE I could dance with someone like you.” You repeated what he said as Izuku gasped as soon as this news hit him, because he never knew that Bakugo would say such things to you. It was one thing when he told him to go jump off the school building, but it was another thing to break you down like that.

It hurt Bakugo more than he was proud to admit, so he did play a factor in making you feel this horrible about yourself, and he fucking hated himself for that. “I didn’t mean what I said back then all right?! I was a fucking stupid kid! You can’t… still be holding onto that!” That was rare, he was actually apologetic for what he said? You almost didn’t believe it.

“You WERE a fucking stupid kid, but during that time you did mean it. And I’m fine with it.” You said, which left the fuming blonde speechless as he wanted to just apologize, but his pride almost wasn’t letting him do that.

“(Y/N)! Please… d-don’t feel… don’t feel like that, you’re not out of anyone’s league! You’re… you’re so much better than you think! And those, t-those… jerks are just trying to put you down.” So Izuku didn’t single anyone out, he tried to make you feel better, but it wasn’t really working. “Oh Izuku… I’ve always been out of yours and Katsuki’s league. It’s just a fact and it’s made me realize ‘wow, why am I still friends with these guys? Am I an idiot? I must be’. Because that’s not how it’s supposed to be, and I’m not going to let it be like that anymore where all I do is make you guys look even better by being the loser I am.” You were tired of this as you turned your back and started to leave the commons.

“(Y-Y/N) you’re not a loser!” Izuku’s voice nearly cracked the more you put yourself down and for some reason, put himself on a higher pedestal when he’s always thought you were the one above him. It hurt his heart to hear you say that about yourself, and it hurt even more knowing you didn’t believe him.

“Don’t you just fucking leave (Y/N)!” But Bakugo almost didn’t let you as he was ready to bring you back but you raised your hand, making him grunt and widen his eyes when the invisible force kept him away from you as he tried to move but the force wasn’t letting him move. Did you just use your quirk on him?

“No… I just… I don’t wanna talk anymore.” You shook your head with a glimmer of guilt in your eyes, but ultimately you did keep walking as you left your shocked friends and classmates behind.

Although Izuku wanted to go to you, instead he stood where he was and looked down at his feet, eyes shimmering with melancholy while Bakugo had a mix of remorse, shame and anger in his the entire time he and his childhood stood among the rest of the sad, shocked and sympathetic classmates glancing where you walked away.

Izuku knew that things changed for him quickly ever since he got into UA, but he couldn’t believe that subconsciously kept from seeing from your point of view, and the fact that while things changed for him, things might still have been static for you. How could he have been so blind? He should have been a better friend to you, he should have been more attentive to you and reminded you of how great you were because now you wouldn’t even believe it because of him. And he felt so horrible he spent most of the night in his room, brooding and trying hard not to cry about how he’s made you feel like that.

While Bakugo was clenching his fists the more he thought about how he’s treated you over the past years. All the name-calling, the rejection, the way he embarrassed you in front of those losers he called friends in middle school, every shitty thing he did to you, made you feel the way he saw you tonight. You were great, Bakugo’s come to realize how great you were, but it was his fault now that you didn’t believe it and wouldn’t believe it because of him. And he felt so fucking horrible about it he wished he could undo all of it as he cursed at himself and refused to get all emotional about this even though he wanted to.

Izuku should have gone after you. Bakugo should have gone after you. Yet neither of them found it in them too, because they both knew that you didn’t want to see them right now. And they had to respect that, no matter how much it was hurting to just let you go in misery.

And you sighed as you were leaving the place to just go to class already, and to your surprise you saw Shinsou walking down the same hall but he was heading in the direction of the commons. He slowed down to see you, concern instantly flashing in his eyes once he saw you. He prepared to open his mouth, but closed it quick into a sympathetic frown as you sighed and put your hoodie back on and walked past him.

LATER ON…

You barely paid attention to anything, and even though Iida politely requested that you put your hoodie down you couldn’t find it in you to do that. And because Iida felt too bad for you, he decided for once to leave it alone especially when he stopped this group of people from laughing at you.

It wasn’t just him, almost all of your classmates stopped to glare and flip off anyone else that wanted to make fun of you. More so than usual that is.

“Hey! Fuck off will ya?!” Kirishima even yelled at this group of snickering guys who were snorting at you when they saw you in your hoodie and carrying your lunch that you planned to go eat someplace everyone from literally everyone. Your friend tried to follow you but you walked a lot quicker than him, as if you were trying to get away, and those guys had the gal to point and snort even louder at you.

“I’m serious! I’ll kick your asses if you keep that up!” But when they saw the redhead glaring at them and raising a fist they DID back away while some others were either concerned or apathetic when they saw you walk even faster out of the hallway.

“Tormenting someone about their bodies? You people are a disgrace! Go on! Go!” Monoma, of all people seemed to express disapproval when he saw you leave after those jack-offs made fun of you and even urged them to go, and in annoyance they did walk away, much to the great shock of Kaminari and Kirishima.

“Eh? Did you just… do something decent?”

Kaminari was the one who asked that because he was REALLY shocked that this guy of all people seemed sympathetic for your plight.

This still offended the other blonde though, who scoffed, “What kind of animal do you take me for?! I’m not the kind of person who would bully someone over their appearance!” But Monoma had his standards, for all his trash talking and hating on 1-A, he wouldn’t bully someone like that, but especially when they looked as miserable as you did.

“Wow… that’s actually pretty manly.” Kirishima actually gave the guy a smile and a thumbs-up but Monoma rolled his eyes, “Well don’t get used to it! You’re lucky that (L/N) is the least annoying one in your class! Because I still hate you both!” But then he quickly gave them that shit-eating smile as he walked away laughing.

“Of course…” Kaminari should have seen that coming but Kirishima shrugged his shoulders, “At least he helped…”

You were going to need it, and you sighed heavily when you took your lunch and headed up to the roof so you could hide away and ignore everybody. Especially from the ones who kept calling you ‘pig’ and treating you like you were.

And you had no idea that the rest of your classmates were more or less threatening some people who kept laughing and fanning the flames of the video to the rest of the less-than-friendly students. Bakugo outright used the threat of violence against more than 20 different guys today.

“Still watching that video?! Still laughing?!

“N-No I swear! I-I wasn’t laughing!”

“I heard you! I heard you laughing and snorting you piece of shit!”

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry! NOOOOOO!!”

It all ended the same for all 20 of them, with a vicious and hard punch to the face that resulted in 15 black eyes and blood from the mouth as Bakugo left, flicking his wrist after he started to feel his knuckles sting from all the punching. He had to do it though, he wasn’t going to just let these assholes keep making fun of you.

Izuku could see Bakugo growling as he came back to the cafeteria and back to his group and was almost tempted to the do the same. However, he didn’t dare let anyone else laugh at you as he heard another pair of students snickering at the video and all it took was a furious glare from the normally sweet boy to silence them all.

No, they weren’t going to let this go on. Of course they both knew that they couldn’t just punch and glare at everyone to make them stop, but for now it was all they could do to protect you until you felt okay enough to face school again and hopefully not wear that hoodie to hide yourself.

They just wanted you to be okay again, but they knew you weren’t okay. Even when you went back to class with them you looked so miserable in your seat, just barely looking at your work with your hoodie still covering your face and your body.

The rest of the class could see it, and even Aizawa could see it. He was going to have to talk to Nezu about this, because he wasn’t going to put up with other little shits bothering his students, even if it meant having to block several of the cites on the Wi-Fi. Your teacher wasn’t going to tolerate this kind of bullying.

Except you were too miserable to really pay attention to anyone, even as you got up to lazily get out of class you couldn’t hear Hagakure or the girls trying to call out to you. “(L/N)!” “Please wait!” “Let’s walk to the dorms together!”

You pretended like you couldn’t hear them, not out of bitterness but because you didn’t want them to be seen with you. Why embarrass them too? And why risk other girls calling you their ‘pet pig’? You thought as you walked on ahead, but only then did you stop when you heard a teacher’s voice.

“(L/N) (Y/N)!”

It was Midnight and you perked up with a small gasp as you stopped in your tracks and looked over at her nervously, were you in trouble or something? Usually the only teachers you really talked with were Aizawa and Mr. Yamada, so it was kind of odd and a little intimidating to have another teacher call on you.

“Y-Yes Ms. Midnight?” Still you answered her politely as she gave you a smirk, “I need you to come into my classroom right away.” Her voice sounded like it usually did, calm, oddly sweet with just a hint of that seduction as you assumed it just became like second nature to her.

Although you were nervous as hell that you were in trouble or something you followed her into her classroom as you made your way in and she came in closely afterwards. “So… I’ve been hearing all these rumors about this rather nasty video of you. At first I didn’t think it was true but then I actually saw the video for myself…”

You sighed heavily, groaning as you blushed heavily in embarrassment and looked away, “It’s true… I think it’s the most popular video at the moment.” Why was she asking you about that? You were certain she didn’t do it to taunt you, teachers wouldn’t do that… right?

“Heh, at the moment. Eventually something else will come up and take it’s place. Frankly this video is in poor taste if you ask me.” The woman stated her opinion, and you had no idea what she was playing at or what she even wanted, but you remained polite.

“I dunno… people think it’s hilarious. I guess that’s cuz I got the less than conventionally attractive body to use for comedy.” You attempted to sound light-hearted about it, but really you just ended up making yourself feel like crap all over again when you put yourself down like that. And it made your teacher really sad as she looked at you with a frown.

“I see.” She said calmly before she gave you a little smile, “Funny how you say that, even though I’ve noticed all the things you’ve been doing to spread the messages of body positivity and self-love during your time here.” Midnight noted fondly as you almost perked up, because you had been trying to do that. On Instagram and on twitter you would tweet about the importance of body positivity, self-love and letting people choose what they want to wear.

You must have sounded like a real hypocrite to her, since you couldn’t find anything positive about your body or love yourself right now.

“Did you know that people made videos about me too? And still DO make videos about me? Kinda like that one?” Midnight then asked and looked over at you, still smiling as you gasped lightly and finally you found it in you to look at her.

“Ma’am?” You immediately sounded sympathetic, even though you weren’t surprised since pro-heroes were like celebrities, of course people were going to find ways to mock them too.

“Yeah, when I first started out, people would make ‘funny videos’ about me too, and emphasize on my outfit, my body and all. Say that I was dressed like a ‘slut’ or that I had too much extra fat on my chest and legs. But I had to do a lot of work to get this body, I had to be fit so I could perform and do the hero work. However…I also knew that there are certain standards for heroines to fulfill, and a lot of emphasis is put on a how a heroine looks unfortunately.” She admitted rather casually as if she was used to it, and you were shocked to hear that. Then again, the beauty standards in Japan were different, still, just the same the standards were unfair to women as all beauty standards in every country was.

“I have to admit, I AM comfortable in my body and my skin, but it doesn’t stop other women from trying to make me feel bad for the body I have. Same goes for men, I might like to have a little fun every now and then, but… some guys are just plain creeps about it.” She said with a little eye-roll and your eyes went wide because that was exactly what you dealt with yesterday as you nodded vigorously in agreement. But also felt bad for your teacher and how she had to put up with all of that, from both men and women alike…

“Lemme tell you this (L/N), the world is very hard. I’d say it’s hard for everyone, but it’s especially hard for women, all kinds of women of different shapes, sizes, race, identity, everything. And there are some pretty cruel people out there. They like to put not just women down, but people in general down and belittle them, make them feel like they’re below people, like they’re not good enough to be with others. They like to categorize them in these little groups so they can deliberately exclude them and make people feel like they could never be in someone’s league or on their level. It’s… well that’s the real villain of everything don’t you think?” Midnight asked you as you paid your full attention to the woman and you found yourself nodding in full agreement.

Your (E/C) eyes started to tear up when she said everything that you knew was true, because deep down you always felt like it had to just be cruel people who liked putting others down that was at fault for everything. That there wasn’t anything wrong with you, and what was wrong was the ones who tried to MAKE you feel like something was wrong with you.

“Y-Yes…! T-That’s why I… it’s why I… get so angry sometimes… and just… try to shout it out, whether it’s on Instagram, twitter or even… out in public.” You stuttered a little bit, but you agreed with her and thought about all the times you’d angrily tweet or even call out people when they were being problematic, hating on others or trying to make other people feel like crap about themselves.

“Good! That’s good (L/N), it’s good to get angry about that, because you know that it’s wrong, what they try to do to people is wrong. But you know what’s not wrong? You. You’re not wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you. What those people did is wrong.” She said to you a little more firmly, her expression a tad bit sterner.

“They tried to convince you that there’s something ‘wrong’ with you, and pointed it out because they only THINK those things about you are wrong. They tried to let you think that there’s something wrong with your body, and that there’s something wrong with what you believe in. But there is NOTHING wrong with your body or what you believe in. Do you understand?” She asked you as you looked at her with slight shock, but felt all the determination slowly coming back to you as you put your hoodie down so she could see that you DID understand.

“Yes ma’am!”

Midnight could see the fire starting to return to your eyes and her smile slowly turned into a proud grin, “I want you to be proud (L/N). I want you to be proud and confident about the person you are. You’re a heroine, and heroines are all imperfectly perfect, their bodies are all imperfectly perfect, and you know it because you’ve said it yourself. I know… it’s sad when other women are awful to other women, but you are not one of those women. And I’m not either. I’m proud that you are not one of those women, it’s up to you to keep spreading that message, and it’s especially important for you to remember that yourself, to remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, and I want you to refuse to let ANYONE make you feel like there’s something wrong with you because is not.”

You clenched your fists determinedly as you wiped your tears away when her words touched your heart and gave her a confident smile. “You’re right Ms. Midnight… there’s nothing wrong with me. And… I’m tired of letting people make me think so… tired of feeling like there is something wrong with me…” You admitted as your teacher’s smile softened.

“I know you are dear. And that’s okay… it’s okay to feel tired too. It’s exhausting…” She chuckled as you couldn’t help but giggle along with her, “But it’s only gonna get more exhausting when you go out on that dancefloor!” She went from calm to excited quick as you perked up and started to blush again…

“Oh the dance…” Could you really go to the dance? You told yourself you weren’t but… if you didn’t go, would that mean they would win?

“Yeah! You’re going to the dance aren’t ya? I think it’d be great if you did! I mean you can dance girl!” Midnight sounded a little more informal and playful, but when she saw the look on your face she paused a bit, “But only if you want, you don’t have to go…”

And that was enough to think, no, you were definitely going to the dance. You asked out Izuku, and you were going to dance with him. You WANTED to dance with him, you WANTED him to see you when you show up in a dress.

You WANTED to go to the dance with your friend and feel beautiful.

“I’m going! I’m definitely going! I got a dress! And I’m going to be extra beautiful.” You said with a little bit more pride as Midnight grinned at you. “That-a girl! You’re going to be so beautiful I know it, because you are beautiful!” She pointed at you with a big smile as you teared up again, letting out a soft little sob as you wiped away your tears when you got a little more emotional upon hearing such validation.

You couldn’t help but throw your arms around the woman in a big hug, and Midnight was more than happy to engulf you in a warm, almost motherly hug. “Thank you Ms. Midnight…”

“You’re welcome hon…” She said to you softly as she hugged you. “Ya know (L/N)… I heard that the theme is ‘Winter is Here’.” She then smirked as your eyes lit up just hearing it, so that means your theme won!! And you quietly squealed as you pulled away and threw your hands to your mouth as you jumped up and down.

“And that means you need to get your Daenerys Targaryen on, rise up from the ashes naked with three dragons on your beautiful body!” She exclaimed and you flinched and blushed quite madly at the thought, “Hehe… maybe the first part… three dragons…? I wish I had three dragons…”

You shyly chuckled, and she put her hand on your shoulder, “You do…” Midnight’s smirk widened and you didn’t entirely get what she meant, as she was talking about three classmates you had gotten close to over the past couple of days.

“Now you gotta go to this place, get your hair all washed, your toes and fingernails painted and tomorrow I’ll help style your hair cool girl~!” She advised to you very enthusiastically as you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling when she gave you a card to go visit after school.

“Yes ma’am! Thank you ma’am!” You thanked her once again as you smiled and looked a little more sure than you had been all day as she chuckled and decided to let you go, “All righty pretty girl, go on, take that hoodie off and think about how you want that dance to go tomorrow so you can live out your wildest fantasies~!!” That came out a BIT more lewd than she intended but you saw the intention and you smiled nervously with a giggle, “I-I will…”

You gave her a thumbs-up as she waved at you and you waved back before you finally exited the school, but the first thing you did was take off that damn hoodie to free your pit stains to let them breath. “Oh sheesh…” You looked at the stains on the pits of your uniform but that’s what happens when you sweat right?

You shrugged your shoulders as you went back to the dorms, ignoring all the jeering from some other students and instead just waved at them. Might as well walk around with pride instead of shame, and you smirked when you arrived back at the dorms and entered the commons once again, still sweaty and messy but no longer hiding.

“(Y/N)! Your hoodie’s off!” Hagakure chirped as soon as she saw you looking a little more like yourself and you cheerfully waved with your arm up, “Yup. That thing was hot as hell…”

Your remark made several of your classmates, particularly the Bakusquad laugh, only their leader was missing. “(L/N) your… your um…” Iida wasn’t the first person to notice that you were sweating really badly, but he had to point it out so he could save you some embarrassment even though he was embarrassed just pointing it out.

“Oh yeah these? Well, girls sweat too, a LOT, it’s more of a sheen than a sparkle too… but it’s natural.” But you weren’t embarrassed about it, not right now at least. “Anyhoo… I’m sorry for ignoring all of you guys… I got upset… but I regret ignoring you guys when you were all trying to help me. And I can’t thank you guys enough for doing that for me. You’re all… brilliant.” And you made sure to thank all of your classmates with a warm smile, and the ones there all perked up as they looked at you, feeling quite touched by your gratitude as they got up to go over to you.

“Awww of course (L/N)!”

“You’re our friend!”

“We’d do anything for you!”

“And help you with anything!”

You could hear all of them reassuring you and saying how much they cared about you and what they’d do for you. God you were so touched you wanted to cry, and at the same time you were relieved that Izuku and Bakugo weren’t there. You owed them some apologies too but… maybe that could wait a little while longer as you smiled and hugged all of your friends before you went back to your room.

Meanwhile…

Izuku was still worried about you, and so was Bakugo for that matter as he walked past the boy without even blowing at him. But Izuku didn’t even notice as he just walked back into his dorm and both the boys were oblivious to the fact that you returned.

However, the second Izuku went back into his room his phone went off and it was a message from Uraraka and Iida saying that you were doing better and even came back to the commons in a better mood. Oh how he wanted to talk to you but he distanced himself because he still thought that maybe you didn’t want to see him after everything and based on what you said the other day.

He chuckled wryly at the thought because he always thought he was the loser and that you were the one out of his league. Of course Bakugo probably made you feel like you were the loser, but that wasn’t true. He could say all he wanted, but Izuku always knew that if anyone was brilliant and out of anyone’s league, it was you.

He just wished that he could get you to see that, and he wished that you could believe that…

RING!

Before Izuku could brood anymore, he jumped when he got a message on his phone and it was from you! He was quick to read it with rather wide green eyes.

‘Hey. I know I acted like a gloomy doofus yesterday, but I still do wanna go to the dance with you. So… we’ll meet here? At the front of the school building?’

Izuku gasped sharply and loudly, hand coming to his mouth to cover any scream that wanted to leave him, and he called himself an idiot before texting back ‘Yes! Yes! We’ll meet here! Can’t wait!’ That came off a bit more excited than he hoped but he couldn’t help it, you still wanted to go to the dance?! He was so happy! Oh my God he was still going to the dance with you, he almost forgot about that…

Oh my God he almost forgot about that and now he had to learn how to dance! And fast!!

And unbeknownst to him, you were thinking the exact same thing as you stood in your room and put on several Youtube videos to learn all these cool dances. You were clumsy doing it but you kept at it so you could actually try to do something like dancing for tomorrow night…

Afterwards you made sure to shave everything, well, legs and pits at least. You’d let the forest reclaim the lands AFTER the dance, but for today and tomorrow, your legs and pits would have to be bare and maybe a little shiny.

You were going to this dance and you were going to be as fierce as a dragon queen.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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