#uninternalized

[archivestarlyht]

when it comes to quests with things that need to be read, sol’rys absolutely will manipulate mansplain manifest someone else into doing it. he’s dyslexic and surface common is like his third read language but still refuses to explain it. passes the thing onto you and will find something else very interesting suddenly.

[snowcrushkiller]

help! the fucked up combination of internalized white/settler guilt, autism, transgenderism, maybe also anticapitalism, uncertain relationship with religion, and of course my melancholic nature is disrupting my ability to belong in a geographic and social sense

[ramble-monty-june]

I GOTTA TRY TO BE VERBALPUNK! HYPE ME UP ᕙ⁠(＞д＜)ᕗ

What it means to be verbalpunk to us:

It means to speak in a disorganized way and not try to mask, especially on bad days. It means to not push ourselves to try and speak when we can't. It means to support others who talk "weird" or in a "disgusting" or "non-understandable" way. It means to be kind to ourselves when we can't mask our semiverbalness. It means to stutter freely and laugh it off. It means standing up against ableists who think that difficulty communication means that our voices don't matter. It means caring for our nonverbal and semiverbal siblings who have no way to community their needs and wants. It means not apologizing when speech come out wrong. It means laughing with our friends when our sentences are not at all what we wanted to say, and being able to let ourselves be upset when that happens too. It means accepting and being kind to those who talk differently from you because that's what everyone deserves.

Being verbalpunk means being accepting of others speech. No exceptions.

[staravya]

BROMANTICALLY....... this coming from the guy who didnt want my protag's gifts. amazing.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

You guys can ignore this if you want, I'm just uninternalizing a thought that I had. If Eddie, a third time senior, knew about the hanky code, why would he be cruising at school? I mean, he made a point to sell drugs off into the woods. I'm just shooting my thoughts out into the void. I'm not trying to start an argument or anything, just curious. I was just wondering if maybe someone had the same thought that I did.

[neyliaart]

hi hello talk to me about junmei :3

i prefer post-canon stuff but i will gladly take anything!! also. do you perchance know of any jun wu redemption fics because i could only find one on ao3 ;;

yes he’s a villain but. it’s fanfic! he comes with a complimentary sad backstory! he’s stuck under a mountain to think about his actions! he’s stuck there forever, he has plenty of time to reflect on his behavior

First up @witch-is-writing do you know?

I only remember ones that vaguely count as redemption really but in my defense I woke up a minute ago, saw "Junmei" and scurried to write this text. Also do tell me which fic you found so I can check if I read that pls :3

Jun Wu is just the personification of 'hurt people hurt people' for me and if you wish I may write an essay about that thazs vaguely structuered and more of a ramble. I do however very much consider mei nianqing to be important to his healing. I dont even call it a redemption arc but oh boy that man needs some Healing. Mnq does too and they really should do that together because their issues are so intertwined. I have so many loose thoughts about this right now oh ma god.

The path to Jun Wus redemption or healing will always lead through the vassal that stayed longer and the vassal that left in the end. The one man he couldn't kill in two thousand years. The one man who knew him before he put on one mask after the other.

And truly they have all the time in the world for that post-canon. Let nianqing (...nian...nyan....nya... Yeah i didnt sleep enough.) visit him in the mountain. Return day after day to make it stick a little. That hes there now. Bring tea, bring books to read, whatever really. They are both so incredibly hurt it makes me sick (positive) and it would be a journey. One thats hard and rocky. One where JW still falls back to lash out and bite because its what saved him for hundreds of years but MNQ stays now no matter how he growls.

Yes JW is just a rescue dog to me and I will never get that thought out of my head ever again but I have one and the similiarities of it are striking. Funnily enough that also means most people should just ignore him (for now). Let one person get closer for now, more than that would be too much and if he starts to feel cornered he will growl and then he will bite. Its an intricate play ot trial and error to figure out when to actually step back and give more space and when to take him by the scruff even if he tries to bite. So MNQ got a lot of work and figuring that out ahead because thats his rescue now (has always been really) and JW will always remain a little more at ease with him than the rest of the world.

At last those who caused the pain have died and after that, by all means, it was all a grasp for control because for as long as he has control he can never be hurt. I believe we all try to hold control over at least something in our lives and its natural to do so. We are all scared to be hurt. But nobody can control everything (much less forever) and he needs to learn to live with that fear and uninternalize the mask of anger that hides it.

No matter what he needs to feel safe first. Not ultimatly safe but at least safe to show that hes afraid. Safe enough to stop wearing a mask of stirkes to hide the vulnerabilty. He needs to be scared and he needs to be vulberable and it need to be safe and okay for once.

And who better to grant that safety than that started the whole tale of his demise and his crimes by telling our main character to the face that this man shone so much brighter than he ever did. A fact i will never get over. The contents of what MNQ tells XL and us is like: War crimes, attempted murder on me, wiping out the heavenly capital, bringing ruin to Multiple kingdoms and how does one start such a tale best? Logically by refering to the man in question as the sun. But thats not enough. He wasnt just any source of light. He outshone you and all of us and all the other gods which are now dead because he murdered them.

MNQ is crazy for that and I absolutly adore that and that is literally all it will ever take for me to ship this. You can not tell me that is not a subtle love confession?? JW attempted to murder him multiple times i don't think people normally talk about such a guy like that??

Uhhhhhhhhhh anyhow

*subtly slides discord link*

I also made this where witch is also inside and so far nobody else but uh yes in case you want that because I dont know how to tell people.

[alice-the-witch214]

Partner unintentionally drains me. I noticed he does this after the times he goes back to his hometown to visit his parents. How can I keep from him draining me or find a method for him to control it. He is not malicious. He's a kind person with strong emotions that end up causing reactions out of others. He's high energy. He is on the spectrum so any form of figuring out how he controls his uninternally syphoning would be greatly appreciated or something for myself to do so I'm not affected by it.

[limetarte]

Need some help from my fellow aromantic folks.

I’m aro, but still struggle with internalized amatonormativity. An example would be only associating love with romantic feelings because of media and how little I’ve seen it used in other contexts. Everyday, get better with those internal feelings and they slowly fade away, but want to speed up the process even if it’s just by a tiny bit.

Does anybody have tips for uninternalizing amatonormativity and allonormativity?

[bitstitchbitch]

I ended up in a musical theater class when I was in middle school. I didn’t want to be there (I had wanted the regular theater class but the school put me in musical theater). I didn’t know anything about singing and we didn’t receive any instruction in singing but we were required to sing for the class, including in a public performance at the end of the semester.

I knew I wasn’t great at singing, but I was enjoying the class and even sang a little more than was required because i was enjoying it. And then the teacher pulled me aside after class and made me change my song for the final performance to an easier and less well-known song because I was pitchy. Didn’t give me any tips to improve, just basically said “you sound bad so do this other song that makes it less noticeable.” It’s taken me years to uninternalize that I’m just bad at singing. I stopped singing in front of other people at all, when I used to not care. Now I recognize that I’m just not trained to be able to recognize pitches and that I could learn if I wanted to and put the time into it, but for over a decade I firmly believed that it wasn’t possible for me to be good at singing, that I was just always going to be pitchy. And I’m still kind of pissed at that teacher for it. I felt horrible about my singing for the rest of that class, including through the required performance when before I had actually been enjoying myself.

I may be becoming the guy at work who won't let people talk bad about their own singing voices, but to be fair people keep talking bad about their singing voices to me

[trans-leek-cookie]

im going to kill myself a million times. Why do I still see ppl acting like "ace people who enjoy sex? That's not what ace means!" Like maybe you're right idgaf but I feel like ppl do not understand or acknowledge that The physical sensation of stimulation that sex produces is obviously connected to but not inherently attached to sexual attraction.

Actually I'm going to go further and talk about the fact Sexual assault is one example of something involving sexual interaction that doesn't require attraction. Like attraction can be a factor I'm not saying it's never an element but it is not INHERENT to ASSAULT. And I think the idea that sex = attraction is not accurate and needs to be acknowledged bc of it. Also note ace people can sexually assault and/or harass people because 'sexual' actions are not only tied to attraction. And on the flip side: people can be "aroused" by sexual assault bc of the physical stimulation and that doesn't say shit about their sexuality. It's a physical response.

Like I don't really give a shit Abt if ace people can like sex or if ppl who like sex can't be ace or whatever but the implications of these discussions make me want to hurt myself and others

Also sex repulsed =/= asexual because people can experience sexual attraction and still have problems with sex. For example: people who struggle with accepting their sexuality and unlearning/uninternalizing societal bigotry like homophobia and transphobia may be repulsed by sex. Sexual assault survivors may still experience sexual attraction but be repulsed by sex. and sexual repulsion can be permanent or temporary based on the person.

And I'm almost sure unless I've been misinformed by a lot of ppl: hypersexuality is not incompatible with asexuality. From my understanding, hypersexuality is not a measure of "how sexual" someone is, it's closer to an OCD obsession focused on sex, where people can have intrusive thoughts that are sexual, or assume they need to provide for someone sexually to be "of worth" + is often a trauma response rather than a reflectiom of attraction or desire

[jeezypetes]

I need to uninternalize the idea that classic/critically acclaimed literature is going to be boring or hard to get through… i don’t know why i still treat those like they’re medicine just because they’re ~supposed to be good~ its so dumb. On average i enjoy those more than popular/genre fiction that are ~supposed to be fun~

[gmanwhore]

Yeah, idk i think i just internalized shit, i shpuld.... uninternalize. Externalize? Idk how it is caled-Bibi

Unlearn. Realize that that pattern of thinking isn't right. Well not realize because you already know but like. Learn something new.

[anangkaaa]

Revealing Magical Secret: Denny Ja presents AI technology in the paintings of the maestro

Painting is a form of creative expression that has existed since ancient times. Through brush strokes, artists can produce stunning works and be able to convey in-depth messages. However, with the rapid development of technology, painting also underwent significant transformation. One of the latest innovations in the world of painting is the use of artificial intelligence technology (AI) introduced by Denny JA, a famous arts and technology figure in Indonesia.    Denny JA, known as an artist and researcher, has long been fascinated by the potential of AI technology in helping to create more complex and detailed works of art. By using the algorithm and data collected, Denny JA succeeded in developing an AI system that was able to create paintings with a style similar to the famous painting maestro.    The use of AI technology in painting allows artists to explore further various styles and painting techniques that exist. Denny Ja has involved several famous painting maestro, such as Affandi, Raden Saleh, and Basuki Abdullah, in the development of the AI system. By using data in the form of their artwork, the AI system can learn and understand the style and techniques of the paintings of the maestro.    One of the main advantages of the use of AI technology in painting is its ability to produce works in a relatively short time. A painting that usually takes months or even years to be completed, can be created by the AI system in a matter of hours or even minutes. This opens opportunities for artists to be more productive and exploratory in creating artwork.    However, the use of AI technology in painting also raises some debate and controversy. Some people argue that the use of this technology can reduce the artistic value of a work of art, because it is considered to have a lack of unique elements and artistic talents that are only owned by humans. However, Denny Ja stressed that the use of AI technology is not to replace the role of artists, but as a tool that can help artists to experiment and innovate.    In addition, the use of AI technology in painting also provides opportunities for artists to create more accurate and realistic works. Through the use of algorithms and data collected, the AI system can produce paintings that can be almost uninternated to the real work of the painting maestro. This opens opportunities for artists to create works that are more realistic and detailed with a high level of precision.    In its development, the use of AI technology in painting can have a significant impact on the world of art as a whole. With its ability to produce works in a relatively short time, artists can be more productive and exploratory in creating works of art. In addition, the use of this technology can also provide opportunities for artists to develop more complex and innovative painting styles and techniques.    However, keep in mind that the use of AI technology in painting still requires artist’s expertise and knowledge. AI technology is only a tool that can help artists to develop their works, but cannot replace the role and uniqueness of an artist.    In conclusion, the use of AI technology in painting is an interesting and promising innovation. Denny Ja has succeeded in presenting this AI technology in the painting of maestro, providing opportunities for artists to be more productive, exploratory, and innovative in creating artwork. Although controversial, the use of AI technology in painting can have a positive impact and change the paradigm of painting as a whole.

Check more: Uncover Magical Secret: Denny JA presents AI technology in the paintings of the maestro

[okaymeg]

im the leaver. im the uninternalizer. im the notworriedaboutiter

[anistarrose]

I realized the terminology here might be confusing for people new to sex positivity and asexuality topics, so as a quick clarifier:

(I am not an authority on this nor do I want to be viewed as one, this is a hastily written overview. I also have an aroace perspective, go read alloace and aroallo and allo-allo and non-split attraction model perspectives too! In no particular order.)

Sex positivity: Other people can give more detailed intros that myself, but in short — the belief there's nothing wrong with wanting sex, having sex, talking about sex, and so on. The movement to normalize instead of villainize or shame the above. And sex positivity is good — you should have a sex positive attitude. There's nothing wrong with kink play amongst consenting adults; there's nothing wrong with age-appropriate sex education; there's nothing wrong with someone openly indicating their sexuality instead of hiding it.

Sex negativity: The opposite of the above. Rooted especially in cultural Christianity. Manifests as beliefs like:

sex for reasons other than procreation is wrong

kink is wrong

having multiple sexual partners at once is wrong

having sex without marriage (or without romance) is wrong

watching porn is wrong. TERFs love this one, probably because they see actual mistreatment happening in the porn and sex work industries, but respond to it in the completely wrong way

being open about your sexuality is wrong, and potentially "corrupting the youth." this one will get lobbed at everyone from someone wearing a collar, to someone expressing that they are gay, to someone expressing that they are asexual.

but, because of the Christianity factor, sex negativity also often includes a sentiment of the form that sex with a partner under some certain condition is a moral imperative, actually. there has to be a "right amount" and "right kind" of sex for all else to be judged against.

in conservative Christianity, this means sex with a cishet partner (usually for procreation). in queer circles that have kinda uninternalized this, but only superficially, this can become some new arbitrary kind of sex (ie, with a queer but decidedly romantic or monogamous partner) that everyone has decided is the new moral standard.

Sex negativity sucks, and can hurt anyone, but especially members of the queer community (allosexual and asexual alike). It can shame someone for living authentically, or can pressure someone into a relationship of a kind that they don't want to have. Unlearning it isn't instantaneous, but it's important.

On the other hand, though:

Sex repulsed / sex indifferent / sex favorable are terms for describing your personal reactions/feelings about sex, as opposed to how you believe society should treat it. You can be grossed out by sex scenes in movies (one possible form of sex repulsion) and still believe those sex scenes have a right to exist (sex positivity), for example.

These terms were coined in the asexual community, as far as I know (and there are analogous terms used in the aromantic community), and they have fuzzy boundaries by design: you might feel differently about sex irl and sex in fiction. Just for example, I'm personally somewhere between favorable and indifferent towards a lot of fictional sex, but very sex-repulsed when it comes to the idea of having sex myself. You can be asexual and be any of the above, or more than one at once.

I just bring this up here because I've seen confusion in the past about the difference between sex positivity and sex favorability, or sex negativity and sex repulsion, with some people unknowingly using the terms interchangeably — and I genuinely have to wonder if this confusion is at the heart of recent waves of aphobia. If you see someone say they're sex repulsed, don't assume they're sex negative — and if you see someone talking about sex positivity, don't assume they can't be on the ace spectrum, for that matter!

Respectfully: yes, of course being sex-positive is incredibly important, but you know what's equally important? Being sex-positive without being fucking aphobic. It's not a herculean task at all; I see aspec and allo people alike who are absolutely able to do both successfully. But it does require a bare minimum amount of critical thinking.

You can defend kink at pride without saying or implying that sex is what makes us human, or that sex is a requisite for the "true" queer experience. You can talk about the indescribable value of gay bars without accusing anyone who isn't interested in them of being either a prude, creepy and antisocial, or a "boring virgin." You can stop arguing that any given queer person or group of queer people you dislike (perhaps even within reason) would be more progressive and less reactionary if they had more sex (and yes, this is a real take I've had to see on this website).

You can, and urgently, should stop pretending that sex negativity as a cultural force is caused by ace people — instead of you know, caused by cultural conservativism and cultural Christianity. And on the flip side, you can stop acting sex-positive until you see an aroallo person wanting to have sex without a romantic (closed, nuclear) relationship — and suddenly, throwing all sex positivity out the window as you decide that they're a freak and a manipulator and evil incarnate. (Yes, even the cisgender heterosexual aromantic men. That particular discourse encapsulates the feedback loop between arophobia and radfem-lite beliefs, by the way, which is another thing the queer community here is horrible at avoiding in its rhetoric.)

So: sex positivity includes aro-spec allosexuals, who need it for precisely the above reason — because alloromantics demonize them otherwise. And sex positivity includes ace-specs who need it just to talk about their experiences, without getting called inappropriate for merely acknowledging sex out loud, let alone their own relationship with sexual desire.

(Have you already forgotten one of the biggest aphobe talking points in 2016? That aces acknowledging their identity in any capacity were "oversharing," and making people "uncomfortable" — and god forbid you ever mentioned asexuality to a minor?)

At its core, sex positivity includes accepting people can have morally neutral relationships with sex that you wouldn't personally want — and maybe even ones that might make you uncomfortable. And so much of this website seems perfectly able to understand this — or at least, preach this — until the second an ace or aro person shows up.

You're not allowed to exclude us from this movement. You're not allowed to twist this movement's intent to put us down. Kill this new wave aphobia in 2023 or so help me. We're not letting this community do this again.

[rinmemesuoka]

good lord the notes of that post are full of whiners and excuses