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Liars and Killers
Thank you to the amazing @unhappy-sometimes for this beautiful birthday gift! She asked me what my favorite scene in Orpheus is, and I may have word vomited all my favorite scenes at her while trying mightily not to spoil the fic (too late).
Spoilers under the cut:
From Ch. 32 "Liars and Killers":
"...I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I don’t deserve to. The words feel so cheap and dirty coming from a liar like me.” “Just say it, love. I don’t see a liar. Do you see a killer when you look at me?”
Orpheus has a lot of emotional highs and lows, and this chapter is one of the major turning points in the story. All the Project Apple stuff, Garden lore, etc. came much later in my planning. But I had known from the start that I would write the catharsis of Ch. 32. When I finally arrived at it, I was so happy. The happiness of creating something deeply meaningful to myself, and hopefully to readers.
I love how @unhappy-sometimes portrays emotions in Twilight, whether he is enamored, annoyed, freaking out, or an emotional wreck. And she always makes Yor look so soft and caring. This moment came together beautifully in her art.
Thank you again friend!!!
P.S. Making fun of myself here...the wording I chose belatedly reminded me of this:
#spy x family#writing#fanfic#twiyor#orpheus#agent twilight#yor forger#loid forger#unhappy-sometimes#sxf fanart#orpheus fanart
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it was really nice to wake up late on saturday to find there's a new twiyor fic to read hehe. thank you! :) i enjoyed this one <3
Oh yeah! Thank you so much! You’re so kind!
I am trying to be super cool and chill about this but I am kicking my feet and squealing and I am so, so happy 😆 Thank you so much for this comment! It means so much to me! Every time your art pops up on my feed, the day becomes brighter and better! ❤️❤️
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here's something you guys probably forgot about.... the pomni backflip art i promised for 10k notes on the post that now has 16k notes... whoops i may have let her land the backflip but at the end of the day she is a failgirl :)
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#my art#my animation#animation#video#took me so long bc i ended up unhappy w it and i avoided looking at it for an entire month even though it was 95% done :( sorry#it looks fine to me now though... idk sometimes you just gotta leave it for a bit
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Modern!Steddie (This is based on something I read a while back on Tumblr about Eddie becoming famous, Steve getting doxxed, and years later singing Hozier's Francesca to Eddie. I'll look for the fic, and if I find it, I'll put the link here.) EDIT: This is the fic here, guys. I recommend reading it. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/48091627/chapters/121266283)
Steve has always been one of the popular kids, but not the kind of childish villains you see in movies. No, he was popular because he was handsome, had rich parents, was charismatic, and was good at sports. He didn't bully other kids, but he wasn't interested in them either.
He never felt the need to seek out new connections at school, because he'd had Tommy and Carol for years, and anyone new who wanted to talk to him would come to him. He didn't have to work hard to make new friends.
His time was spent on sports and the friends he already had. The occasional girlfriend, too, because he'd always been a romantic at heart and a lonely kid. Being best friends with a couple would also make him feel like a third wheel a lot, so having a girlfriend and double dates seemed cool.
Then he got into a fight with Tommy and Carol after that graffiti episode in the movies and they drifted apart. Tommy wasn't mean about it, but he was resentful and hostile, because they were best friends and it always sucks to lose a friend to a boyfriend/girlfriend who you think cheated on them.
After a year, when he and Nancy broke up, he, Tommy and Carol didn't get back together, but they weren't hostile, you could tell they felt bad for him. Steve wanted to be friends with them again, he just didn't feel right crawling back with his tail between his legs and he also felt guilty that they never reconnected before. He didn't want it to seem like he only got back together because he was single.
He's still popular, but now his best friends aren't around anymore and he got cheated on by his girlfriend, but he feels like he deserved it (let's just say the story they made up about Barbara dying was real and the trauma grew into a monster and consumed their entire relationship). So he feels alone.
He has the kids. But Dustin thinks he's awesome and he doesn't want to be anything less, Lucas also sees him as a hero, willing to take a beating for him, Max looks up to him as a big brother. Will is Jonathan's brother and has traumas, so Steve would never dump his problems on the kid. Mike is Nancy's brother.
All of his real friends are kids.
So, Eddie. Steve isn't lonely around school, he still interacts with other students, he's friendly with the popular crowd, a lot of people like him. He just has these moments where he seems sad and then suddenly he seems super chill again.
Anyone who looks closely can tell he's got a problem and pretends not to, but it's not obvious. Eddie doesn't think much of it at first. He actually finds it amusing, because he has a lot of shallow and superficial ideas about popular kids who conform to the norm and who are well-off.
Eddie comes over when he sees Steve reading a DnD rulebook. He mocks it a bit, but explains a few things and Steve, who has always been a social butterfly and never cared much about sitting at the same table as some group in the cafeteria, sits down with Hellfire.
Not with the intention of being their friend, just because he wanted to ask them questions, take notes and move on with his life. A brief connection, a friendly interaction. No different from his relationship with most people who are part of his social circle.
But Eddie keeps pulling him closer, invites him to join the Hellfire Club. Steve declines, because he likes the stories and wanted to learn about DnD because of the kids, but he feels insecure about being a player, about roleplaying, he's afraid of making the wrong decisions and ruining something that seems to be so important to their friends (both the kids and Eddie).
Eventually, they fall in love.
Steve graduates without much distinction and Eddie barely makes it, but they are free from high school. While Eddie continues to play concerts at the Hideout with the CC boys, Steve works at Scoops Ahoy and makes friends with Robin.
So, when Eddie decides to leave, Steve asks them to wait a little, to save up more money, to get better organized. If they stayed for a whole year, Robin could even leave with them. When Eddie doesn't agree, he says they can continue their relationship long-distance. After all, it's 2010 and there's technology for that.
Eddie leaves anyway, believing that Steve will regret it and look for him, understand that leaving is the right choice and blah blah blah. Steve can't leave yet, because if he moves out, if he doesn't follow the path his parents have laid out, he'll give up any illusion of family he might have had. His car is in his father's name, he doesn't have much savings, he's still not open about being bisexual and he's terrified of leaving his entire life behind. It's hard in Hawkins, but facing the whole world, the uncertainty, not having a home to go back to… It scares him. Eddie doesn't understand, because if nothing else worked out for him, he could go back to Wayne and be welcomed with open arms.
One of Eddie's first hit songs is about a preppy, popular, charismatic kid who's the captain of the swim team and lives in Loch Nora who starts dating him in his senior year and gets stuck in a shitty job at the mall. It's easy to figure out who Steve is. People at school find out quickly.
I like to think Carol is the one who alerts him, goes to his job to tell him the rumors. Tommy goes with her. Although Carol is kinder and more open and Tommy keeps his distance, as if he might be infected, he also tells Steve to be careful, for old times' sake.
Either way, he becomes a target. The students tell their parents that they believe the hit song is about Steve. This story even gets around the church that his parents donate to and "attend" when they're around. His parents' friends find out. His business partners find out. His parents, too.
His parents suddenly move back home. It was a huge fight, with his mother accusing him of being possessed, suggesting a treatment to "cure" him. Mr. Harrington said it was due to a lack of beatings. Either way, it ended with him bleeding alone in the street.
A few days later, he and Robin managed to return to "steal" some of his belongings back, including documents. Other than that, he lost everything.
Mr. Wheeler didn't even want him to get close to Mike anymore.
For a while, he spends his days between the Hendersons' couch and Robin's bedroom floor, feeling like shit and listening to the music Eddie wrote over and over again.
After that, he sells his cell phone, his laptop, whatever he managed to keep. Robin also sells some of her things and the kids help with this small fundraising, selling cakes and sweets. Even Tommy and Carol seek them out, providing almost 50% of the money. That way, Steve is able to leave with a few months' rent saved.
Wayne also helped, because he knew that Eddie's music was responsible for this. Steve told him never to talk about everything that happened with Eddie, so Wayne kept it a secret.
I think Tommy, Carol and Steve could get back to being friends. Not the same as before, but they have lunch together every few months and they were the ones who helped Steve get a job in a new city.
A few months later, Corroded Coffin is well established, about to release its first album. Robin goes to college and Steve and she move in together.
That's when other people start to find out who Steve is too. It starts with a post on Reddit, people speculating about him, which is the central theme of several songs, although none are as explicit about his identity as the first. His parents receive some hate mail, they make a point of sending it to the Buckleys and Steve finds out. What hurts the most is knowing that his parents never gave him any of his belongings, but they found a way to let him know that people he didn't even know hated him.
He gets some hate messages too, because, although he deleted his old accounts, the new ones are easy to find through the profiles of people who knew him before all this. So, they're probably students from school, people know what Robin's social networks are, finding him.
There isn't much hate coming his way because he's careful to keep to the shadows, and thankfully the speculation about Steve Harrington being responsible for breaking Eddie Munson's heart doesn't go that far, after all, there's nothing to keep fueling those theories.
One of the things that connected Eddie to Steve was music. I like to think of Steve as a musician, like Joe Keery is. If Eddie can pour out his anger through music, he can also pour his heart into it. He writes Unknown/Nth and posts it to an anonymous YouTube account. He sings with an acoustic guitar, without showing his face.
For a while, this feels like closure.
Steve still gets hate mail sometimes, even though he deletes the old accounts and creates new ones. Everyone in Hawkins seems to know about him and Eddie. The kids, who hated Eddie for a while, have reluctantly started to admire him again. Steve reassured them about this, but they all remained bitter about everything that happened.
Steve, for his part, has vacillated between hating Eddie and hating himself. Most of the time, he still feels like he maybe loves Eddie a little bit, as if he’s stuck on that last day they saw each other. Sometimes he blames himself for making the wrong decision. Other times he thinks that if he hadn't stayed in Hawkins, Eddie might never have made it big.
His feelings for Eddie are complicated.
So, about 5 years after the breakup, there's a documentary about the beginning of Corroded Coffin. Something not produced by them. Maybe by a fan? Who goes to Hawkins, talks to people, tells them about Steve, exposes Steve and it goes viral on social media.
His life goes to shit very quickly. Eddie doesn't even notice at first, because CC is on a world tour and they never have free time. Meanwhile, Steve becomes well-known on social media and gets some hate mail.
Things change a bit when someone, seeing old photos of Steve, posts on Reddit that they have a crazy theory: there's a song they've been listening to for years, that's a lost gem in the depths of YouTube and they swear that's Steve Harrington, because the moles match and you can see a Hawkins High jacket in the background. It's a pretty crazy theory, so it doesn't get much attention, but the song gains momentum.
Eddie finds out because, once he learned everything that happened, he started researching everything about Steve, trying to measure how much he ruined his life.
Assuming people find out that the song is really about Eddie, I think he could become the target of hate, almost as much as Steve did, because Unknown/Nth is a powerful song.
That's what I've thought, for now. They get back together in the end because Eddie's actions had terrible consequences, but he never meant to hurt Steve like that and the biggest culprits for everything that happened are his parents. The hate from the fans wasn't that intense until the documentary, so it was hard to notice.
Anyway, they have a long way to go. A talk to clear up their last fight, a lengthy apology from Eddie, reconnecting with the kids, getting back to being friends.
It would be terribly sad and difficult. It definitely wouldn't be a fairy tale, but they could learn to trust each other. Eddie could earn Steve's trust, affection, and friendship, and one day they could be a couple again.
#steddie#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson#Sometimes I like to be unhappy#so I think about this scenario a lot#But I want happy endings#steve has bad parents
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:
You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,
vs
How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.
Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.
Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".
Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.
#dropout#zac oyama#adventuring academy#brennan lee mulligan#reaaaally like- like not even the specific takes as much as the framing of this. its part of why i think sometimes discussions about#good or bad or happy or sad or realistic endings miss the point a bit for me.#like whether an ending is 'good' or 'bad' or 'happy' or 'sad' or 'realistic' are often distinct discussions along w/ being deeply subjectiv#not to say that they're all COMPLETELY disjoint but assuming one EQUALS any of the others often flattens the discussion. to its detriment.#narrative meta#(?)#not cr#look ill be real im thinking about (among other things) some of the c2 ending discourse. not in a 'i cant see why people were unhappy' way#bc I totally understand why and I did have my own gripes. but also.#just like. man. some of those discussions were. happening in the same spheres and threads and all talking totally diff things. and migh#have really benefitted from this framing#anyway I looove adventuring academy. the Lou and aabria adventuring parties are ones I relisten to regularly. connie/jasmine's ones r also#vvvv good. I also typically love contested roll for the absurdity but in this case the specific discussion spawned is so good I don't even#mind the trade of the hilarity#anyway sorry. off my soapbox now. i just loved this discussion
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sigh feeling nostalgic for my old fics/the old community these days. I miss it man.
#this post is brought to you by the fact that I've been rereading world forgetting the past few days#I've reread parts of it plenty of times#but I haven't actually reread the fic in full... since I wrote it maybe?#does that even count as reading it#it's a fundamentally different experience I think so#anyway I miss having that level of brainrot...#I cringe so much at a lot of the stuff in that fic#but man there were so many great moments#ngl as my 'big fic' i'm most unhappy with I do sometimes think about rewriting some of it#not that theres much of an audience for it anymore#but also that would take too much time and I wouldn't have the patience for it#plus I don't even know how I'd fix it theres so much wrong structurally#it would have to be so much longer which is the opposite of what I'd want for it#I literally am way too busy for that anyway so#ramblings
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Pokemon Masters made a really cute halloween Iono outfit so obviously I put Courtney in it
#pokemon masters#magma admin courtney#oras#i have nothing else to tag this as its just courtney. but in ionos halloween outfit#i have some stuff in my inbox i WILL get to answering them all I promise#ive just been ultra exhausted due to work. life is stressful. but we keep on trucking!#and ive at least been having fun drawing :]#its nice to do some regular art inbetween the pixels. i love doing pixel art but sometimes i miss doing my oras sillies#so here. oras sillies#ive been fucking around with my style a lot because i keep being unhappy with what i make when its not pixels#and it has been helpin g :] its just fun to experiment with stuff#part of the reason why im drawing regular a bit more again. havin fun plus playing
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Sometimes I wonder if Leo’s instant latching onto Señor Hueso is due to the fact that Hueso is an older adult man (specifically a father at that) who, while fed up with Leo a lot of the time, still deigns to give him a modicum of attention.
Considering Leo’s a Leo, he craves that attention from a father figure, even if said attention isn’t positive. As long as he’s acknowledged, that’s enough for him, since he’s already used to being his own biggest (and often only) fan as is.
Luckily, Hueso does come around and (reluctantly) forms a connection with Leo as well, but again, I have to wonder if Leo picked out Hueso for a reason.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt hueso#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#rise hueso#there’s also Tim Dunkman#even Marcus Moncrief too#like how Donnie is easily influenced by words of praise from parent aged adults#I find that Leo is influenced by attention from father aged men#unless these men are Baron Draxum who Leo met as a villain first#side note but sometimes I think about how Leo never had a true heartfelt moment with Splinter that wasn’t in a group setting#sure he and Splinter have time together in Many Unhappy Returns but that does more to help Splinter see Leo’s abilities than Leo himself#with how dismissive Splinter is (especially to Leo in that episode) and with how much Leo as a Leo is an ultimate Daddy’s Boy…#well I can imagine how much he longs for that attention#again - even negative#poor kid’s got Daddy Issues galore#they all do really#this is partially why I don’t think Leo reacts much at all to the negative things said about him in Many Unhappy Returns#partially because he’s likely heard it before#and partially because well…even negative that’s still attention#that’s still time he gets to spend with his dad one on one#so it’s not shocking that Leo basically imprints on Hueso#keep in mind that we meet Hueso in the Maze of Death episode#so Hueso at least loosely knows of one of Leo’s lowest moments#and still hasn’t kicked him away soooo congrats boneman you have a lifelong nephew now
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I know she had era tour but I don’t think I can do it w a broken heart is actually eras tour
I thought of this too. Maybe sometime down under? No way to know, but I did think the line she threw in at the end “Try and come for my job” might have hinted at something. I can read it both ways. As always, we’ll never know for sure. But I think it’s fair to say she has felt this way many times. It reminded me of Katy having to go on stage immediately after having her husband tell her he was filing for divorce. And it’s relatable. We’ve all had to put on a happy face at work and pretend things are fine at home.
#on a personal note#it reminds me of one of my depressive episodes where everyday I just didn’t want to get out of bed or do anything#and as a result I lost 15 pounds in a short period.#and when I did get out of bed and smiled I got a lot of comments about how great I looked#so I don’t think we need to necessarily dissect this so much#the point is sometimes she is deeply unhappy and we won’t know because like everyone she hides her feelings#and we should remember this always. we don’t know her.#body language experts should shut up because if she’s in public she knows she can be video’d or photographed at any moment always#so she always has the face on she wants people to see#that sounds so exhausting
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wish i had top surgery so when i make out with someone they can have their hands roam under my shirt (or even be shirtless) without me shriveling into a dried up worm
#fanged.ventposting#kinda. not really a “vent” per se but more a rant#it’s STILL REALLY HOT IN MY ROOM IM UNHAPPY >:(#also a yearning post. ranting And yearning! how fun!#fangedfagyearning#it’s funny tho bc in the summer i was like Yea I’m Proud Of My Trans Body Im Ok With It Sometimes and now i’m all. get these things off me#i overuse tags i think but i have so many extra thoughts#mlm#gay#mlm yearning#t4t mlm#gay yearning#nblm#mlm thoughts#mlnb#ftm mlm#gay mlm
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I loved this episode addressing Millie and how she feels sometimes in her relationship with Moxxie. It a plot line I feel will come again in later episodes. Also, how Moxxie is kind of a jealous bitch a little
#I don't understand Moxxie sometimes.#He’s an only child with a very traumatic past#But still doent give him excuse to be a jerk and I’m glad he learned that#Glad Millie finally got some development#good to see! I knew there was more to her under the surface!#I have to say I was kind of flinching away and cringing at how over the top Moxxie was when trying to fit in#vivziepop#helluva boss#helluva boss season 2#helluva boss millie#helluva boss moxxie#unhappy campers
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#the bad batch#tbb elemental au#tbb au#THE TAGS WIL BE BITTER#i just had to get this page out#i realized after doing background stuff there was so much text one just the left side#but i wasnt gunna go back or it would have been scrapped lol#its so messy and im pretty unhappy#but sometimes you just got pop it out and continue on
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it’s so wild to me that that was me 7ish years ago vs now… butchification & growth & happiness
#left: unhappy and didn’t know who I was#right: :3333333#sometimes I forget that I didn’t always Know and it’s wild to me now
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Speaking of Earthspark Starscream being an antagonist, I also hope we see more conflict between the Malto siblings. I used to babysit as a teen and I've never seen a family with lots of kids that didn't have serious sibling rivalry, kids acting out in a bid to get attention, etc. Individually I like each Malto kid, but as a collective they have less personality clashes than, like, G1 My Little Ponies (who bullied ponies for "having no feelings" and accused each other of ruining tape decks before Learning Not To), and that's a shame. Because interpersonal conflicts are interesting.
I hope Thrash gets a chance to achieve Cheetor-levels of rebellion, b/c I was rewatching Beast Wars recently and boy Cheetor really got into trouble on the regular.
#earthspark#Transformers#Beast Wars#I just don't know what they are going to do with that many kid-characters if they're all happy and content all the time#(except when in physical danger)#I think it makes them harder to relate to#being a kid means sometimes you will be deeply unhappy over things you have no control over#even if you have the most loving family
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tiktok is such a draining platform for an artist. especially when you're doing silly fandom art. there's this line between constructive criticism and straight up mean shit and it's being crossed on the daily there. i guess sometimes it stings a bit harder for me, because i purely draw for fun. i am not trying to win a contest, i never properly learned any of this. i just want to have fun.
so a disclaimer here: i know my art isn't perfect, but thank you for at least being civil with me. and to my artist buds, you're doing amazing.
#does anyone else know what i mean?#the mean comments on tiktok throw me off so bad sometimes#makes me really unhappy#sorry for the rant#lene talks
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