#unfucking believable

[puppysdog]

ooh got denied a promotion again for some stupid ass not my fault reason. do they know im gonna blow them up with my mind

[astralkilljoy]

former coworker: *cheats on husband and even admits it to me just days after*

former coworker on facebook for the next four years: everyone hates me for no reason and that makes all of you shitty people I am an innocent person who has to deal with so much bullshit

[ladysstardust]

why does anything that has to do with Canada on reddit turn into a cesspool of right-wing conservative fuckwits

[andi-o-geyser]

babe. babe wake up. whitestone’s burning. yeah, again. the red cross is going to be sooo mad they’re shit out of funding from this city being nearly wiped off the map every other month

[tlgtw]

I don't have any evidence but I feel there a palpable sense of 'desperation' among waifu-brained FromSoft fans who are trying to deal with a game that is not very interested in catering to them.

Certainly there are no female characters who are sexualized themselves, with Malenia, Ranni, and Fia being the most obvious examples of this, their being almost completely unsexualized.

Malenia is a broad-shouldered woman who literally does not have sexual organs, and Ranni who we outright see naked at the end of her questline has a featureless body of cracked ceramics and rope.

It's atypical: Compared to Dark Souls 1 especially the difference is really apparent. (Quelaag, her sister, and Gwynevere off the top of my head)

And you've noticed it, too, right?

That 'desperation' in the shit fanart and posts I'm talking about?

A lot of people appear unwilling to accept those facts for Elden Ring's prominent female characters. (Like outside of wishing to fuck them they're just unfamiliar with drawing or talking about those characters.)

It's arguable even that Elden Ring has no waif-like characters whatsoever. (Although the likes of Roderika and Hyetta dispute this, their lack of popularity notwithstanding.)

A first since even Sekiro had Emma, with Emma's character being a woman who was evidently far too normal to have ever been considered a waifu, despite her having more lines and screentime than the Doll, the Firekeeper, and more, combined!

If this pattern continues with the female characters introduced in the DLC, I wonder what we'll see, then xd.

[feralnumberfive]

I am not caught up w the umbrella academy in the slightest but I'm okay with spoilers if it means there's Gross Shit Officially happening in the show- who is 5 kissing???

Five is kissing Lila! 😀

[triumviiirate]

DE KELLEY IS NOT A "HEAR ME OUT" Y'ALL ARE DELUSIONAL

[taikk0]

hi tumblr i'm back... thank you dashboard unfucker and fuck you twitter

[hellsgayngels]

find the art to go with this here!

it's cold outside, and crowley did not want to go out, but aziraphale wanted to go shopping, so here he is wrapping the scarf aziraphale had just finished knitting for him more tightly around his neck.

(it's one of many - he has them all tucked away in a box under the bed in his flat, and he adds to the collection every time he receives a new one. aziraphale likes to knit and thinks he's quite good at it. he is now, anyways.)

"is the fidgeting really necessary, my dear?"

"'s bloody freezing out here, angel," crowley snaps, perhaps a bit harder than he meant to. "we haven't all got the benefit of the heaven's angelic light, you know."

aziraphale's grasp on his arm tightens just a tad, not enough to hurt but just enough to pull him in closer. it would have been a fine gesture if it hadn't flustered crowley enough to miss a step, and if there hadn't been a patch of ice in exactly the wrong spot.

(for a demon of hell, ending up on one's ass in the middle of a busy sidewalk is the greatest humiliation one can face. which one could argue is rather the point. it didn't help that crowley had been on the bumping end of many a slippage himself.)

aziraphale immediately hauls him back up, murmuring "oh dear, crowley, i'm ever so sorry, are you quite alright darling," while clearly holding back a grin, which only added insult to injury.

"yeah, yeah, fine," crowley mutters, brushing snow off the back of his coat and glaring down any passersby who dare portray an ounce of sympathy. "can we get on with it? this next place better be enclosed against the elements."

(why anyone would choose to have an open-air market in the dead of winter was beyond him. he'd send every vendor right downstairs if they didn't already provide, in aziraphale's words, "simply the most scrumptious little bit and bobs", and who was crowley to deny his angel of the bits and bobs?)

"oh yes, and it should be delightfully warm as well, it's this new café i've been meaning to pop in on. i hear they have the most delicious eclairs..."

aziraphale continues to chatter about the various confections and competencies of the new café while crowley desperately tries to regain feeling in his fingers. somewhere along the way he realizes aziraphale has stopped talking and is instead gazing at him in a way that could, to any casual observer, appear fond, but crowley sees the glint of mischief in it and narrows his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"yesss, angel?"

aziraphale smiles, and stops, and the pedestrian traffic flows around them as he takes crowley's hands in one of his own (he's not even wearing gloves, the bastard) and leans forward to plant a kiss first on crowley's forehead, then to the curve of his nose, and finally on his mouth as warmth blossoms from every point of gentle contact.

"better, my dear?"

crowley's glasses have somehow gone slightly askew, despite not being touched, and he can feel the tips of his ears flush red.

"mmnk," he says coherently, and aziraphale's arm is around his again as he gently steers them both through the door of a bright little place full of warm smells and soft music and time, and time, and time.

[mamawasatesttube]

💙💙💙

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

HA oh man. part of me wants to say bruce wayne (like i get it i've seen dan mora's art but that man also just spends all his time in a cave and should have eyebags the size of his cape. come on.), part of me wants to say dick grayson (i do think he's hot but i also think he's a hot mess. the "as everyone else seems to think" part is most relevant here. dc keeps pushing him as The Hot One or whatever and i just vehemently disagree. he's a freak and his hotness is not Like That yknow?? if you're ignoring that he's a freak to make him generically hot (staring at dc) that's incorrect. frankly the freakishness is a bonus that adds to the hotness in my opinion but what do i know. im a lesbian i literally don't go here but that doesn't mean i don't have TASTE.)

but my ultimate answer is tentatodd. ive seen a few people try to defend it but theyre WRONG!!!!! that thang is UNFUCKABLE and i will DIE on this hill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Genuine question from someone that hasn't played bg3 but has more or less learned about the characters thru osmosis

Do you hate Astarion? If yes, why?

As far I've seen, people either shove him into the ground or put him in an altar. So?

Thanks! Hopes this doesn't annoy you, I'm just curious

Lol I don't hate him, I actually do love him, I just enjoy teasing him; but most importantly I'm sick of his stans and their ways so I'm doing my part in balancing out the people who want to fuck him. He's my silly guy until someone says he's the best character, then I'm tearing him and them to shreds

[aria0fgold]

Oh, turns out it isn't just mine being a mess but dashboard unfucker just died for practically everyone else ough... not a good sign...

[oatflatwhite]

frankly. the fact my body decided to give me a curved spine and tilted pelvis AND endometriosis thus making it incredibly difficult to live pain free in my lower back is. rude.

[witchkingofanmar]

me when I'm a handsome younger man with a quick, easy smile

[ivymarquis]

Im having a blast with the zombie fic but I cannot reconcile the fact that Fred has bigger plot armor than Love does. Somehow the most unrealistic thing about the zombie AU is that John has allowed Fred to live this long.

Fred has two (2) plot points he needs to achieve, however.