#unfortunately one of them is incredibly malicious

[mawsmauls]

Day three for the @dragonaday-fr challenge! Serva is certainly warm and fluffy, just don't ask who's turning up the heat.

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

[pellucid-constellations]

If It All Fell (6)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: If it all fell apart—if you forgot who you were—would you love him again? Would the bond guide you back? Azriel doesn't know if that uncertainty is one he can bear.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: Angst, PINING

a/n: Sorryyyy for the wait <3 As a lot of you know I have been going through it lately, but I really enjoyed writing this and hope to post more immediately 🤜. Let me know what you think :))

Part 1 ♡ Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ✶ Part 4☼ Part 5 ☁ Part 7 ☆

Series Masterlist

~~

Day Court was immeasurably beautiful—with all of its pristine columns reflecting orange light. Marble flooring shone with distorted images of acrylic brush strokes that hung on granite walls. Fountains billowed at the mouth of every doorway, sculpted fixtures at their bases. Warm wind kissed your skin and glistening waters welcomed you and Day Court was so incredibly beautiful. 

You were sure, if given the chance, you would think the same of its residents. 

Unfortunately, you were not given the chance to come to that conclusion. 

“The High Lord is in a meeting. He sends his apologies for not meeting you upon your arrival—the merchants of Day can get a bit rowdy,” the servant laughed. “I can show you to your rooms in the meantime.”

“Rooms?” Rhysand posed. You attempted to look over Azriel’s wing to gauge the conversation, but Cassian took another step to the side, halting your movement. 

“Yes, Helion informed us that the four of you would be here, so we prepared four rooms. If that’s not—”

“Three rooms will suffice, thank you,” your High Lord drawled. 

The servant squeaked, and you were sure if you could see her, her nerves would be evident. “Of—of course, High Lord. I assume Lady Y/n will be with—”

“We will deal with the division of our rooms on our own. Thank you…” 

“Amira,” the servant offered. “My name is Amira. I will be attending to you, Lady Y/n, during your time here.” 

You knocked your head to the side, brushing Cassian’s bicep as he stood beside you. You barely caught Amira’s mousey brown hair before the membrane of a wing flushed out and pushed you back. 

“She doesn’t need an attendant,” Azriel bit out, misplaced malice creating tension in the hall.

“Oh, it’s okay, I—” 

Apparently, not even your voice was allowed to be heard. Rhysand cut you off. “No attendant,” he confirmed, after sending his spymaster a sidelong glance laced with reproach. “No servants in our rooms, either. We are rather private, you understand.”

A pause. 

You wished you could see anyone’s expression. 

From beside you, Cassian offered you a pity smile, nudging you with his elbow in an act of comfort. 

“Anything you require,” Amira shakily responded. “Shall I walk you back, then? Just to show you where you will be staying?” 

“Lead the way.” 

Azriel immediately stepped back, his shadows scrambling past him to enclose you in dim light. You felt his presence, firm and tall, looming at your back as you took the first few steps down the hall. 

This all felt entirely misplaced, with the bleakness of your group extinguishing some of the vibrance of the court you walked through. Cassian kept close to your side, some of Azriel’s shadows drifting off and cloaking the red glow on his hands and chest. Rhys, ever the High Lord, took up the front, footsteps light but purposeful. 

Everyone looked grim. 

Except for you. 

This court held no negative connotations for you, no malicious undertones that impacted the rest of your family. It was simply beautiful, and your family was simply cloistering you. 

But you agreed to this; anything to make them feel better. 

To make Azriel feel better. 

You turned your head to the side as you walked, catching the shadowsinger in your peripheral. Tense, on-guard, unyielding; Azriel’s jaw was set in a firm clench, but it was different from what you were used to. When he was tense at home, it was almost out of… anticipation? Trepidation? 

Here though… here his posture was derived from rage. From practiced, honed fury. 

You turned your head away before you attempted to fix it, to comfort him. He wanted to be angry, told you as much before he winnowed you to Day in a flurry of his shadows. 

I’m going to be different, he had told you, I need to be different. It can’t be like the last time. I can’t let you get hurt. 

The fear in his eyes had melted away in the Day Court sun; the second your feet landed on meticulously carved cobblestone, Azriel was no longer just your friend. 

Amira led you to three doors along a wall, mumbled a few parting words, and bowed away before anyone could send her a second glance. You attempted to offer her a reassuring smile amidst her flee, but Azriel’s shadows were too dense. A hand on your back led you into a room and Amira was gone. 

“That went well,” Cassian breathed, a long sigh punctuating his descent into a loveseat by the bed. “She didn’t look terrified at all.” 

The bedroom door clicked shut. Rhys raised his brows. “She’ll thank us later.” The High Lord’s eyes drifted to the shadowsinger sulking by your side. “This isn’t exactly a leisurely visit.” 

Your gaze shot around the room in the following lapse of silence, analyzing the tense nature of each male. The air felt stagnant and stiff, the light somehow dimmer even with the open windows, and you weren’t sure if your voice would make it worse or ease some of the pressing emotions. 

Rhys took a seat in a chair by the door, and you decided speaking was better than leaning into the uncomfortable silence. 

“It’s so beautiful here,” you began, playing with your fingers, second-guessing your decision to stand. Azriel remained motionless at your side. “The sun feels different somehow. Brighter, maybe?” 

“The skies have an affinity for their namesake in the solar courts,” Rhys offered kindly. 

You hummed, rolling onto your toes and then rocking back on your heels. “I suppose that makes sense. The nights are incredible back home.” 

The use of that word—home—did not go unnoticed by the group. Not by you and certainly not by the male standing guard at your side. The replacement of the word had been relatively common since you woke up. 

Here in Velaris, there is…. 

When you came back here all those years ago…

Let’s go back to the house…

Never home.

But being in Day—being away from Velaris—just solidified what you already assumed. Velaris was your home. You were sick of letting your family dance around that truth. 

~~

“Mother above, I was sure I would never see you again,” a strange voice tore your attention from Cassian’s vivid retelling of your first time flying with him, and although it was an interesting story, the man before you was even more enticing. 

With deep skin and an even deeper smile, white linen billowed around his confident figure. The man appeared to glisten as he walked toward your small group, golden sandals trailing up bronze calves. Even the air around him seemed to glow. 

Enticing didn’t seem to be the correct word. 

You’d been directed into a rather large study after a brief lunch and a “tour” of the grounds that only included the wing you were staying in. Rhys had chalked it up to Helion stalling for time. You’d tried to coax a more comprehensive tour out of the guard leading you around, but a sharp look from Azriel was enough to put that conversation to rest. 

“You look just as you did. Perhaps a bit gaunt but…” The man—Helion, you’d deduced—trailed off when the whisper of a shadow trailed at his neck. “I am Helion,” he smiled. “You have known me for many years. In love with me, as most are. But, alas, it is not fated.” 

Some of your awe shifted to shock. “I am—I’m sorry, I am in love with you?” 

In front of you, Cassian let out a long breath and fanned his wings out before letting them hang behind his chair. You sat straighter in your own seat, mortification creeping into your chest at the small laugh Rhys let slip across the room. What set your mouth into its flurry, however, was the raised brow you received from Helion. 

“I didn’t mean that to offend. I mean—what I meant was just that… Well, no one said I had a lover or even mentioned you in that way so it came as a shock. But I presume there is much about myself I have yet to learn so… you are a very beautiful man and I’m sure—” 

“Y/n, it’s alright,” came Azriel’s soothing voice from beside you, his scarred fingers pushing hair behind your ear halting your apologies. “He was only joking.” A pointed look in the High Lord’s direction. “He does that from time to time, unfortunately.” 

More mortification made an appearance. 

“Oh.” 

Helion’s raised brow had morphed into an unsure expression at some point amidst your rambling. “When they said you had no memory… You will have to excuse me, y/n. I assumed you’d have more… context. Especially with your abilities.” 

“We told you she remembered nothing and had no access to her magic,” Azriel defended, his fingers dropping to rest beside your thighs. 

“Well, yes, but often when magic tampers with the mind, the personality remains intact. Like a muscle memory.” 

“Oh, her personality is there,” Cassian retorted, a bittersweet smirk playing at his lips. “Just not when she’s met you five seconds ago and you’re revealing fake truths. Sarcasm doesn’t often work with strangers.” 

Helion nodded grimly, turning back to you. “I apologize.” 

“It’s really alright,” you comforted, attempting to calm some of the twisted guilt marring the High Lord’s face. “They worry too much. Right now everything I do is without context and I find myself embarrassed more often than not. It’s not your fault.” 

Helion did not look convinced or reassured. His eyes simply traveled to the corners of your face and tracked down to the patterns Azriel was drawing into the skirts of your dress. 

“Do you see now why we needed to come to you,” Rhys chimed in from above his crossed arms. 

Helion hummed. “Yes. Shall I get started then?” 

The room shuffled. You were informed that Helion had to be touching your head to assess the injury—unlike Rhys’s assessment—so you were sat atop a table to give him better access. Azriel followed by your side, his front pressed against the table, Cassian stood his ground behind Helion, and Rhys took up residence on your other side. 

“In Day, we have a type of healing that extends to magical wards and enchantments, was that explained to you?” Helion asked, kind eyes never leaving yours. Too kind—uncertain and full of reproach.

“Yes, they said maybe the witch put something in my mind. Like a blockage.” 

“Precisely. And I was informed about Rhysand’s unsuccessful attempt at entering your mind. That could be due to a spell, which is why I would be more useful.”

Rhys scoffed. 

You let a smile tug at your lips, but it was quickly extinguished when you considered the outcome of this process. “Will it feel the same? What you’re doing and what Rhys did?” 

You could almost hear the way Azriel ground his jaw. 

Helion glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “It will feel different. I am not in the business of thoughts or memories. I won’t be able to access anything other than any inflictions you may have.” 

“So it won’t hurt?” 

“I cannot promise anything.” 

The table beneath you shifted an inch, just to be caught by hands glowing with blue light.

I need to be different. It can’t be like the last time. I can’t let you get hurt.

“Still sure you can’t just beat the crap out of whatever’s going on in my head?” you posed to Cassian, tilting your head up to call over Helion’s shoulder. 

The general’s chuckle eased some of the tension in the room. “I would if I could.” 

“Promise?” 

“Always.” 

With a resigned breath, you nodded to Helion. The High Lord’s hands glowed a golden white, he lifted them to your head, and then there was nothing. 

~~

Azriel

If he hadn’t shot his hand out when he did, Azriel was sure your head would have fallen out of Helion’s grasp and plummeted to the floor. 

You were limp. 

Eyes closed, neck bent—completely and utterly limp. 

Azriel took the liberty of tugging on the bond just to make sure you were still alive. He hadn’t done so since you woke up in the forest, remembering the fear in your eyes, but you looked so incredibly lifeless. 

“Helion,” he barked, his worried expression never turning from your face. 

Icy panic gripped his stomach, twisting it with fervor. 

Cassian took a step forward. 

“Why is she unconscious?” his brother gritted out. His tone was an empty threat; he couldn’t hurt a High Lord, and neither could Azriel, but Azriel would do much more for much less. 

His life had become a nightmare. 

Literally. 

On his worst nights, he relived the time you went missing and the subsequent loss of your memories over and over until he woke up screaming. His heart would beat so rapidly it seemed impossible to slow and he would be inconsolable for several minutes, but he always had you there. He would wake up from that nightmare and you would be there. 

He had that dream every night now, and he woke up to the same. The guestroom he occupied didn’t smell like you, and even though you were just on the other side of the wall, he couldn’t make out the sound of your breath enough to let it lull him back to sleep. Nothing you owned was in that room. Everything he owned was still in a pile by the door after Feyre had rushed to clear the evidence of him from your space. But why did that matter? What were books and trinkets and clothes in a room that was otherwise devoid of everything he loved? 

Leaving his room was worse. 

Gods, all he wanted to do was hold you. To really, truly hold you and for you to hold him back. But you looked at him cordially, the same way you looked at Cassian and Rhysand and Mor. 

When he left the house he had to deal with Feyre and Nesta’s constant questioning. Even Amren had taken an interest in your well-being, and while he appreciated the care for his mate, he couldn’t take it. 

He couldn’t take echoing the words, “She’s fine. Healthy. Less pain today,” over and over when he could tell what they really wanted to know were things you wouldn’t share with him. He couldn’t take the fact that you didn’t tell him you loved him—that he would whisper it at your back every time you turned around and you never heard. You were skittish at his touch and shy when you spoke and you were never the first to voice your opinion and he just couldn’t take it. 

With your head in his broken hand, Azriel felt another piece of him crack. 

“I did it.” Rhys broke the silence, a concentration twisting his brow. “Helion and I agreed it was the best way to go about this. It had to be sudden though—unexpected. We needed a moment where her mind was completely unexpecting.”

Cassian cursed. “You couldn’t have told us that before you made it look like she died, Rhysand?” 

“If y/n were dead no one would be standing here right now and you know that.” 

“Still,” Cassian mumbled. “Warn a guy.” 

“I’ve felt this before,” Helion said, shaking his head. “But that’s impossible. Rhysand, you would have—” 

“I would have, yes, but not if it was created through other means. It was a witch, not a daemati.” 

“She could have been both.” 

“Extremely unlikely. Keep going.” 

Azriel watched the way your lashes fluttered, counted the beats of your heart and pretended you knew who he was. 

“What’s happening?” he asked. “You’re both in her head. Talk.” 

“I couldn’t get through the wall myself because it wasn’t her magic,” Rhys explained. “I assumed it was the witch’s, but this signature is too similar. It’s exactly like it was before, just muted.” 

“Like it was before?” Azriel repeated, finally turning his head up. 

Rhysand looked grim. “Almost identical.” 

“That isn’t possible,” the shadowsinger immediately refuted. “I killed that bastard myself. There is no way he could have done anything to her.” 

“Azriel, I think it’s possible that—” 

But Azriel did not let the High Lord of Day finish his thought. “You don’t speak to me about her,” he seethed. “Not when she came to your court and one of your people did this to her. I trusted you with her. I sent my mate here and she has been paying the price for that ever since. This is your fault, so you do not tell me what you think. You tell me what is certain.”

The room went silent, and Helion looked back at you, eyes glazing as he continued his work. 

A strong, steady hand clapped against Azriel’s shoulder. It took Cassian three tugs before Azriel reluctantly let your head go, but only after Rhysand placed his own hand at your back. 

“Look, I get it,” Cassian comforted, hands on his brother's arms. “If this was Nesta I’d probably be tearing this room apart right now. But he’s all we have here. And you know it wasn’t his fault last time. You remember how hard he worked to get her back.” 

Azriel ignored him.

Cassian roughly shook his frame. 

“Hey, you know that. And you know y/n’s going to be pissed at you when she gets her memories back and hears how much of an ass you’re being to Helion. She’s going to be severely pissed if you start a war trying to kill the guy.” 

“If.”

The small smile Cassian was sporting faltered. “What?” 

Azriel finally met his eyes. “If she gets her memories back. It was an if last time and it’s an if again.” 

The two High Lords discussed quietly in the back, their hands still on you. Azriel’s shadows refused to leave your side, weaving through your hair and your clothes and the fingers against your head. 

“Well last time she got them back, didn’t she?” 

“You truly believe that will happen twice? I was praying to the mother for luck the first time, Cassian. She won’t listen again. I guarantee she won’t.” 

“Az…” Cassian trailed off. There was no speech to formulate, not when defeat and resolution were so clear on his brother’s face. 

“She won’t love me a third time.” 

Your cough had Azriel bolting away from his brother’s concerned gaze in an instant. You were no longer in Helion’s grasp, instead leaning against Rhysand’s arm as the High Lord of Day scribbled something in a book.

“Ow.” You rubbed at your head with a pinched expression, squinting up at Azriel as he leaned down. “I think I passed out or something.” 

It was mostly out of hysterics, but a small laugh escaped the spymaster. “Or something.” 

Gods, you sent a spark of joy down the bond and it was all-consuming. You did that from time to time, unintentionally flooding Azriel with whatever emotion you felt the strongest. More than once he had to stop himself from opening his side completely just to relish in the reminisce you offered him. 

“What about this time? Did we figure it out?” you slurred, squeezing your eyes open just to have the drop closed once again. 

Azriel tucked his hand against the back of your head and looked expectantly at the two High Lords before him. 

When Helion spoke, Azriel let him, if only because he was still living on the high of his mate’s lingering amusement. “Whatever the witch did, it was a mimicry of the daemati that tore into her head all those years ago. I need to do more research, see if I am able to undo whatever it is she redid without irreparably damaging her mind. If I can’t, the only answer is the witch.” 

“Is that even possible? To mimic something like that?” Azriel asked, stepping forward so your drooping head would fall against his arm. 

“Witches draw power beyond their reserve and even beyond the cauldron. We know so little about them. Tamlin should not have been making deals with them,” Helion curtly replied. 

Any lightness in the room had very clearly disappeared. 

“Take your mate back to your room. We can discuss this when she no longer looks like she’s fighting to stay awake.” 

“I am awake,” you argued, trying and failing to haul yourself into an upright position. 

Rhysand huffed out a laugh. “I wouldn’t even be awake after having two high lords in my mind. Go rest. We will talk in the morning.” 

Azriel assisted as you stood on unsteady legs, but the attempt was futile. The shadowsinger gathered you into his arms as you sent an accusatory finger in Rhysand’s direction. “Liar.” 

It wasn’t until you were alone in the hallway, your head against Azriel’s shoulder, his arms beneath your body, that you spoke again.

“Azriel?” 

He hummed in response. 

“What’s a mate?”

Part 7 ☆

[hotheadedhero]

Not sure if you're taking requests so feel free to ignore this, but I was wondering how the 2012 turtles would react to an S/O that swears a lot 🤣

My first ever request! And an absolutely hilarious one at that 😂 I love this so much, thank you! This is right up my street!

S/O that swears... a lot

Warnings: bad language but you coulda guessed that :]

2012 Turtles x Reader

Leonardo

He loves you but he wishes you didn't have such a vulgar tongue. This poor guy has no idea what to do, in all honesty. Leo isn't even sure if there's anything he can do. You swear when you're happy just as much as when you're upset.

There's nothing malicious in the way you go about it. He knows this and he knows you harbour no ill intent but he will try to coerce you into at least swearing less. Unfortunately, he realises that this is a futile attempt given it's practically your second language.

Eventually, he learns to suck it up and gets used to it because, gosh darn, he just loves you that much.

Raphael

Doesn't even bat an eye considering his family has to interrupt him before he speaks crudely. He doesn't get why. They're just words with negative associations, after all. The two of you are a massively bad influence on each other, unintentionally encouraging the other to exercise their foul mouth.

It certainly makes banter very interesting, to which the rest of the Hamato family are made either uncomfortable or concerned. Raph has no idea what the problem is. Minus their father, they all grew up in New York, for crying out loud!

At least you two get each other in that respect.

Donatello

May occasionally flinch with the odd swear here and there but doesn't seem to mind too much overall. Even he has some colourful expressions of his own. Sure, his own versions of obscenities are very much more family-friendly but he kind of gets it. "By Darwin's beard" is a prime example.

Donnie isn't one to frequently budge at your choice of vocabulary but he'd be lying if he said he isn't impressed with your creativity.

"What the fuck?! Pavlov's dog could figure this shit out!"

As crass as it is, that might be a personal favourite that often has him humoured.

Michelangelo

Incredibly shocked at first but he doesn't think any differently of you. This guy does not care one bit. You could have two heads and that wouldn't change a thing. At the end of the day, he loves you no matter what.

Someone may need to keep an eye on things, however. Don't forget - Mikey is impressionable when it comes to phrases, let alone the profanities that carelessly fall past your lips. If he's to accidentally repeat one of these words, it's not just his brothers you'll need to worry about getting an earful from.

Splinter will be all up in your case, so be mindful if you want to avoid a stern lesson in the dojo.

Also, just to put it out there, I'm happy to take requests! Just headcanons for now, however. I have so many stories to write and want to get them out before taking on ideas from all you lovelies :)

[putellasawfc]

please may you do a beth mead fic where reader is new to arsenal and super shy but beth being beth is very welcoming and shows her the works and they get really close and eventually get together :) i’m happy to request more beffy fics because you’re very right in saying that there ARENT ENOUGH!!! tysm

best decision !

beth mead x arsenal!reader

-

stepping onto the turf, your eyes wandered over to the group of girls who were running around together, passing the ball back and forth in their different groups with looks of either enjoyment or concentration, depending on who you looked at. your heart was beating wildly in your chest and your grip on your water bottle tightened as the man beside you whistled with his fingers in his mouth which quickly grabbed the attention of the arsenal players who looked over in curiosity, all their eyes darting between you and your new manager, jonas eidevall.

today was to be your first day training with your new team, and you were both excited yet nervous about the whole thing.

you weren’t great at meeting new people, blaming it on your shy and quiet demeanour, it usually took awhile for you to warm up to anyone new and come out of your shell so today was a big day for you, for many reasons . you were grateful that jonas had given you this opportunity, signing you onto the arsenal team a couple of weeks back. you loved your old club, the girls you played with were incredible and you had created many long lasting bonds but unfortunately as the years went by, your game time was decreasing and you were no longer satisfied with the minutes you were getting on the pitch.

the bench had become a familiar place and you worried that your talents were being wasted there. so when the offer to sign to arsenal appeared, you all but leaped at the opportunity, excited to spread your potential elsewhere. though of course, despite being eager to join the new club, the goodbyes to your teammates were emotional but they understood why you left and assured you that you made the right decision, no hard feelings.

your thoughts were dismissed as an array of colours clouded your view. the blacks, greens and blues from the arsenal training kits were up front of and centre, matching the new one you had fit yourself into only an hour prior. you were a little intimidated by the many stares you were getting, though none of them were made with malicious intent, some of the girls even sending you a welcoming smile as they sensed your unease which you quickly returned.

“alright girls, our new member is finally here, this is y/n y/l/n and she’s going to be joining us today for training, friday’s game will be her first game with us so i expect you all to welcome her with open arms and ease her into the team as quickly and smoothly as possible please.” jonas’ voice sounded from the side of you, and you felt a little heat rise to your face with all the attention now pointing at you.

a few of the girls piped up with ‘hi’s’ here and ‘hello’s’ there, and you returned them all with a simple wave and a quirk of your lips.

“you can all get your proper introductions later, for now i need you to start working on your drills, so partner up and show y/n she made the right choice coming over here.” he clapped his hands together, and you smiled at the playful jab he had made towards the team, already liking the atmosphere within the coach and squad dynamic.

your nerves came rushing back as soon as he wandered off though, and the girls began to jog off back onto the turf already grabbing onto each other as they called dibs on their partners before others could. you hung back, feeling a little awkward at the bond they all had that you weren’t yet apart of, though you had high hopes it wouldn’t be long before you were there with them. your eyes flickered around as everyone partnered up, feeling a little bit like a loner as it seemed you were the only one without one, but just as you were about to accept the embarrassment, a hand touched your elbow and you spun your head around to see a freckled blonde with gorgeous blue eyes and a beaming smile.

“you wanna partner up, newbie?” her yorkshire accent reached your ears and you perked up at the invitation.

“um, yeah.” you mumbled, your voice coming out quiet before you coughed and spoke again. “yes please, saves me standing on my own like a loser.”

she laughed at that and you smiled, happy to have amused her with your slightly self degrading comment.

“yeah i think we’ve all been there.” she hummed, walking you both to the only available miniature sized goal left. “i’ll pass, you shoot, yeah?”

you nodded in agreement, happy to be in any position as long as you were practicing and learning. you stood a good distance away from the goal post, and awaited beth to get into her spot so she could shoot the ball your way.

she placed the ball down by her feet and glanced your way, the smile that she had first greeted you with still on her face as if it was permanent. “you ready?”

you nodded once again, and so with that she pulled her foot back and kicked the ball with moderate power. you watched as it flew towards you, backing up a little as you quickly predicted where it was going to end up. as soon as it aligned with your foot, you made your move and kicked the ball, watching as it hit the back of the net with ease.

“go on!” the blonde cheered, clapping in approval at the strike you made. “already showing off i see.”

you blushed at the praise, not being able to keep the smile from your face at her genuine appreciation of your skills. you retrieved the ball from the goal and ran to where beth was just stood, the striker moving to do the same and stand in your position.

“now i have to make this or else jonas might kick me off the squad.” she teased, and now it was your turn to laugh at her remark.

“i don’t think he’d ever do that, can’t lose his meado. your fans would start a riot.” you told her, only half joking.

she barked a laugh at that, “i wouldn’t be surprised.”

the training session continued for another two hours, and you stayed partnered up with beth for the majority of it. apart from the last half an hour when you all had to get into groups of four, but beth still remained in your team and you were glad. being the first girl on the squad to start an actual conversation with you, you were clinging onto that warm exterior as you allowed it to bring yourself out of your shell a little bit and mingle with the other two on your team, who happened to be catley and foord.

both of them brought you into the group as if you’d been friends for weeks, no awkward small talk or even worse, awkward silences and that took a lot of weight off your shoulders. though you didn’t doubt the girls would give you any less than a friendly welcome to the squad, you still had your worries that maybe you just wouldn’t mix in with them quite so well, but as the minutes passed you realised that those worries were no more than a silly waste of head space.

-

the next few days passed quickly, each day you’d go into training and instantly just find yourself drawn to beth who seemed just as excited to see you. she’d always bring you into a hug, her hands rubbing comfortingly up and down your back that had your insides tingling with excitement at the act of affection. you couldn’t deny the feelings inside of you that had been building up since you first met the blonde, for some reason you couldn’t get her off your mind.

whenever you were together you were always seeking her out, making sure she was always nearby. you blamed it on the fact she was the first person to accept you into the squad, though the quieter part of you brain knew that it was more than that. she had followed you on instagram when you had returned home on your first day, and after following her back you were ashamed to admit you had stalked her profile and found yourself grinning like a fool at her posts, her sense of humour something that had drawn you in from the get go.

but other than that it was her effortless beauty that had you hooked. you had yet to see her with more than a bit of mascara on her lashes, and you were taken aback by how great she looked. even after a day of training, all red faced and sweaty you were still admiring her from afar. you could only imagine how incredible she’d look if you ever got the honour to see her all dolled up, the photos on her social media’s never did justice so you just had to wait for the opportunity yourself.

over the days your bond with the other girls had grown stronger too. three girls specifically. caitlin, steph and alessia were your definite best friends on the team (aside from beth of course), you just seemed to mesh well with the trio, they were lovely people and you all shared the same humour and energy so it just made you all work so well as a group.

and your relationships with the other girls were slowly building too, you even had the pleasure of meeting leah williamson which you look back on now and cringe at how awkward you were around the arsenal legend. she had shown up at training one day, ready to begin easing herself back in with the girls ahead of her big comeback for the team and you had bumped into her in the gym. the blonde looked at you unsure, and you guessed she hadn’t realised there was anyone new joining the team. but unsurprisingly, beth was there to save you and introduce you both.

you were sure you looked like an idiot, stood there mouth opening and closing like a fish as you struggled to find words. it wasn’t everyday you met people you had looked up to for years, and to not only be playing along side her (when she was recovered of course) but also have the chance to build somewhat of a friendship with the defender was enough to have your brain short circuiting. you were just glad beth was there to keep the conversation flowing.

now, you stood on the pitch ready to play in your first game officially as an arsenal member. you were incredibly nervous, but determined to prove your spot in the squad, wanting to show jonas that he had made the right choice when he seeked you out. and it wasn’t just jonas you wanted to prove yourself to today, it was the girls and the fans that were all anticipating your debut. you didn’t want to let anyone down, including yourself.

you jumped in your spot, kicking your legs out whilst letting out a deep breath, trying to warm up whilst simultaneously attempting to decrease any anxious thoughts. you watched as the girls did the same, some passing you and sending exciting smiles and encouraging words as they passed. it wasn’t until she appeared, did you take the encouragement seriously.

“you’re gonna do good, yeah? you’ve been great in training just do the same as you did then.” beth patted your shoulder, “act like the crowd and cameras aren’t here, just focus on us and the ball.”

you nodded, rolling your neck with a sigh. “yeah, okay. i’ll keep that in mind.”

the lioness smiled, turning so now she was walking backwards to her spot whilst keeping her eyes on you. “i believe in you.”

and with that, she sent a quick wink your way that would’ve had your cheeks burning if it didn’t feel like it was minus ten degrees out, before she turned on her foot and your eyes met the ponytail that swayed with her body movement.

you didn’t have too much time to dwell on the whole thing, the whistle blew and all the players took a knee, before it blew again and the ball was kicked to pelova, and the game began there.

-

fifty-seven minutes flew by faster than you had imagined. the first half was a frustrating one for arsenal, with the opposing team scoring two goals and your team yet to have scored one, you were all given a stern talking to at halftime by jonas, who ended the talk with some words of encouragement in hopes that it would help you bounce back and play at the best of your ability. katie had given some words of her own, being the captain of your team for the match she was obligated to make sure you were all in the right headspace, there was no more room for mistakes, you had to go out and score before it was too late and you lost a valuable three points that could push you higher up on the table.

and you must’ve had the luck of the irish, because all of a sudden your team was on fire.

the ball stayed on your side of the pitch for the majority of the second half so far, always at the feet of a player in red, being kept far from anyone who wanted it with intentions of shooting it at your goal. you jumped for joy when in the fiftieth minute stina scored a long goal, the ball hitting the back of the net, just grazing the goalkeepers hand. you all ran to the swedish player, with grins on your faces. now, you only needed two more goals for the win.

and the second opportunity came only two minutes later, when you earned a corner kick that beth took, the ball finding its way nicely into the penalty box where you all stood, but it was lia who had the best chance. she jumped on her feet and headed the ball into the goal, the crowd erupting into loud cheers and applause, feeling more optimistic now that your team was levelled. after celebrating her goal, your team again running to the goal scorer with grins and high fives, you all ran back on the pitch now more determined than ever to win this game.

now here you were, 57:22 on the clock and the ball falling at your feet after a pass from caitlin. you quickly scoped your surroundings, working out who was being covered and who wasn’t. you held back for a few seconds, not being able to find a free player, beginning to panic a little as your opponents began closing in on you. but from afar, a hand raised and you only took a quick second glance to see it was beth on the side of the pitch, with lots of open space and ready to take the ball on. so, without any hesitation you pulled back your foot and shot the ball through the sky, past players who watched it go, too high to try and take with a headshot.

the ball landed just an inch away from beth’s foot, a perfect ball that she didn’t waste as she took the shot at the goal instantly.

you stood back in anticipation, watching the ball fly through the sky, past players who jumped up to defend the ball and stop it from reaching the goal but to your joy, they missed it by inches and the ball secured itself in the top corner of the net. once again the gooners who had been watching with extreme apprehension launched up in their seats and cried out in joy at the added goal, leaving your team now leading by 3-2.

beth’s hands pumped in the air as she ran to the fans, mirroring their reaction and cheering as loudly as she could. she was quickly followed by the rest of the girls, who jumped on her and pulled her into hugs, all bearing huge grins. you made your way over, being one of the last to reach the pile of girls but were quickly accepted into the team celebration with different sets of hands finding their way on your back and waist.

as the huddle began to separate, getting ready to continue play and hopefully score another one or two goals before full time, it was just you, beth and a few others who remained at the sideline. beth’s eyes landed on yours and her grin widened even further, if that was even possible. she didn’t waste another second and pulled you to her, her hands clapping down with gentle force on your back as she whooped in your ear.

“beautiful ball! couldn’t have done it without ya.” she praised, pulling back from the hug so she was now inches from your face.

you smiled, elated that the ball had perfectly reached beth, but more than that, you couldn’t get over the immense joy on her face as she looked at you as if you had told her she had won the lottery. you didn’t want to pull away from her intense gaze, her blue eyes shining bright under the lights that made her look even more captivating than usual. your stomach fizzled with butterflies when you caught her eyes lowering, flickering down to your lips that were parted and back up to your eyes again, the whole interaction happening so quickly you wondered if you had imagined it.

but when you pulled apart, much to both of your disappointments, your eyes met steph and she sent you a knowing look. her lips quirked upwards as she looked between the pair of you, and you knew, she knew. you had feelings for beth.

luckily the aussie didn’t stay to make any teasing comments, instead she just cocked her head to the side, signalling that you should get back in position which you did immediately, not wanting to slow the game down any further. but when you looked back at beth, you saw she was still watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, but it didn’t look negative in the slightest.

she sent you one last breathtaking smile, and with that, the game resumed and just silently prayed that your now racing mind wouldn’t affect the last thirty-or-so minutes of game time.

-

the final whistle blew and your team erupted, finishing the game with a 5-2 lead was definitely something to proud of, especially since you had started the second half two-nil down.

you all collided with one another, the whole thing being a blur really as you were surrounded by the whole team, even the girls on the bench had come up to join in on the joyful huddle. you were engaging in hugs here, high fives there, you even got a few kisses on your cheek and a pat on your back. it was safe to say the team was in very high spirits after the win, and you were being applauded for your assist to beth that gave your team the advantage. it was one of the best feelings, knowing your team was proud of your performance during your first game with them, and now you just had to keep playing how you did today and surely your name would move up the ranks.

“hey, we’re all planning on heading to jen’s for a little after game celebration, you down?” alessia had approached you as you all began making your way back into the tunnel, and you considered the offer.

it would be your first time hanging out with the girls out of work, and it sounded like some great bonding time that you would be stupid to pass up. so with a quick shrug, you nodded.

“yeah, sounds good. she’s alright with me coming?”

you felt an elbow playfully nudge into your arm from the opposite side of you, and you couldn’t say you were very much surprised when you saw who it was.

“don’t be silly. course she is.” beth’s voice sounded over the rest of the girls walking by you. “so you better be there or else i’ll kidnap you myself and force you there.”

you rolled your eyes in amusement, leaning into her embrace when she slid an arm over your shoulder, bringing you into her side.

“i’ll try my best.”

-

arriving at the beattie residence, you were instantly greeted by the woman herself who ushered you into the house with giddiness, clearly she had already had a drink or two in her system which was obvious by her lopsided grin and inability to stop talking as she led you inside. you tried to nod along to her ramblings best as you could, but she was talking so fast you kind of gave up in the end, relieved when you entered dining room full of the other girls who quickly pulled you into hugs, saving you from the one-on-one encounter.

sat at the table was alessia, victoria, caitlin, beth and leah. a few of the other girls were lingering around, katie and lia sat talking on the couch, viv and kyra you could see stood in the kitchen, watching steph as she seemed to be recounting a story with the way her hands were moving wildly with her words. there was music playing though it wasn’t too loud, and there were snacks littered around the house, albeit most of them had been already eaten.

you sat down at the last empty seat at the table, which happened to be between beth and vic, the dutch woman quickly handing you a beverage.

“you’re two drinks behind, time to catch up slacker.” she told you, tapping the top of the can and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“give her chance vic.” beth laughed, “she hasn’t even taken her jacket off yet.”

vic held her hands up in mock defence, “i just want to see if the newbie can outdrink any of us, that’s all.”

“god when is that nickname gonna go away.” you grumbled whilst you opened the can, eyes flashing over to beth who watched your movements. “i blame you for this.”

“me? why me?” she cried out, pointing her finger at herself in question.

“because that’s what you called me when we first met! remember?” you asked her, amused by her reaction. “and since you said it, it’s stuck. how long until i’m no longer a newbie?”

you honestly weren’t that phased by the name, you knew it was only coming from a place of love and that there was no venom behind it, but it was fun to tease the girls, especially beth who had the best reactions.

“i’d give it another few weeks, alessia had to cope with it for about a month so.” caitlin’s voice trailed off as she looked up to the ceiling in thought, “i’d say three more weeks?”

alessia nodded along with the aussie’s guess, “yeah that sounds about right.”

you all laughed at that, and you began drinking from your can as you all found yourselves floating into conversation. you talked about anything and everything, plans for the weekend, what leah had attempted to make for dinner the previous night, how excited vic was for the next season of her favourite show, the game you had just won. chat flowed so easily amongst you all and you couldn’t help the smile that had permanently etched itself onto your face, looking around at everyone you couldn’t believe how easily it had been settling in at this new club.

“what’re you so smiley about?” a yorkshire accent whispered in your ear, and you turned your head to see beth had leaned in to talk more privately.

the newfound close proximity had your heart beating in your chest just a little faster, if you were to lean forward just a few inches more your lips would be on hers. you pushed the thought to the back of your mind as you realised beth was still patiently waiting for a reply, with a raised brow.

“just happy to be here, that’s all.” you confessed.

beth’s face lit up at your answer, clearly happy with it. “good. i’m glad, we’re lucky to have you with us, you’re a proper gunner now.”

not having anything else left to say, you kept your eyes on her for a second longer, admiring the way she stared back at you with a look of fascination that you weren’t used to receiving. you were conflicted. a part of you was glad you were in a room filled with people, if it was just the two of you, you’d no doubt be a blushing, squirming mess with the intensity of her gaze that still had yet to dissipate from you.

but then the other part wished it was just you two, alone. maybe things would happen, things you had been thinking about nonstop for the last three days now. like maybe she’d confess she liked you, that she felt the same way and couldn’t get you out of her mind. then she’d kiss you, it’d be timid and gentle as you both got used to the way the other moved, but you’d eventually ease into it and want to do it for the rest of the night. and the day after that, and the day after that. everyday if you could.

but alas, that was not going to happen anytime soon. so with one last smile towards beth, you finally tore your eyes from her and began to refocus on the conversation that had been ongoing, this time with jen who had sat herself down on leah’s lap.

-

the night flew by, before you knew it the time on your phone read 11:47pm and you knew you’d have to get yourself home soon before it got too late. some of the girls had already left, the only ones remaining being steph, beth, leah, katie and caitlin. you decided you would be the next to leave as you stood from your spot on the couch, where you had moved to when you were called over by katie who wanted your opinion on something she was debating with lia.

jen watched you stand and collect your jacket, a groan of disappointment catching the attention of the others.

“not you as well newbie, come on! when did everyone get so old? you’ve got at least another hour in you.” she complained, as she had done everytime someone announced their departure.

“i know, i know.” you said, “i’m sorry but if i don’t go now there’s a risk i’ll pass out on your couch.”

“no bother, i’ll even get you a blanket if you need.”

you grinned, shaking your head whilst you retrieved up your purse from the dining room table. “as lovely as that sounds, i think i’ll get a better nights sleep if i’m in my own bed. maybe next time?”

jen waved you off, grumbling under her breath but you took no offence to her drunken mannerisms.

“how’re you getting home?”

you looked up from your phone as beth approached you, placing her half finished drink down on the table.

“oh, just gonna get an uber. same way i got here.” you shrugged, opening the app on your phone.

“why don’t i give you a lift home? saves you some money and waiting around.”

you paused as you looked at her again, “are you sure? i don’t want to make you leave early or anything.”

she shook her head instantly, diminishing any worries lingering in your mind that you’d be cutting her night short. “it’s okay i was planning on leaving myself anyways, jenn’s on her fifth drink she’s gonna start getting soppy in a minute. nobody wants to be around for that.”

you giggled at the playful jab, your eyes wandering over to jen who as beth said, was opening her next drink. you almost lost it at the worried glance steph and leah shared but managed to hold it in, instead turning your attention back to beth who was now gathering her own belongings just as you had.

you both bid farewell to the remaining four, and jen who was even more upset when she realised beth was going to be leaving too, going on another short rant about how all her friends are getting old, which entertained you to no end. you missed the way the girls all leaned in, whispering and giggling as you and beth left together, wondering if either of you were gonna stop beating around the bush and finally have a chat about your feelings that were obvious to everyone but the both of you.

you climbed into the passenger seat of beth’s car, telling the woman your address whilst you clicked your seatbelt into place at the same time, both of you happy to find out that you only actually lived a five minute drive from beth’s home.

“means i can come over whenever i want.” she had said, making your imagination run wild at the thought of her showing up at your house so you could hang out together.

the drive wasn’t too long, the journey passing by even faster than expected with beth’s great company as the two of you chatted the whole way, sharing lingering looks a few times throughout. you were almost upset when you pulled up outside your familiar driveway, knowing you probably wouldn’t be seeing beth until monday since you all had the weekend off.

you grabbed your purse, before unbuckling your seatbelt and making a move to get out of the vehicle.

“thank you for the lift, i appreciate it.” you began your goodbyes, hand moving to find the handle of the car door.

“don’t worry about it. i’ll feel a lot better going to bed tonight knowing i watched you walk through your door.” she replied, and you smiled at the heartwarming comment.

you couldn’t comprehend how close you had grown in such a short amount of time.

“well i guess i’ll see you monday then?”

“actually, i was wondering if um.” the blonde paused, swallowing as her eyes began to drift throughout the car, a huge contrast to her usual cool and calm demeanour.

“yeah?” you asked, furrowing your brows.

“i’ve just been thinking, and you can always so no! don’t feel like you have to say yes, there’ll be no hard feelings i swear. i’d just be so annoyed with myself if i went home today knowing i missed this opportunity to ask and-“

“beth, breathe.” you laughed lightly, watching the poor woman ramble on without taking a breath, “you know you can ask me anything, yeah?”

she took in a deep breath and nodded her head, seeming to gather her thoughts for a moment before she turned back to you. now her eyes stayed on you this time as she spoke with more composure.

“i was just wondering if you’d maybe like to meet up, tomorrow or sunday i’m not fussed. i’d like to take you out somewhere, like … on a date?”

your heart pounded in your chest once you brain had registered what beth had just asked you, not expecting a question like that to come from her in a million years. not right now anyways. your mouth fell slightly agape, your grip on the door handle faltering, whilst you attempted to come up with some form of response before it began to get awkward.

but it took you longer than beth liked, so she retreated in her spot and shook her head in disappointment. “it’s okay, i get it. i just thought i’d ask, i don’t even know if you like girls! i’m sorry i-“

you cut her off once again, this time with a more physical interruption rather than verbal. you surged forward, a random fluke of confidence overtaking your usually timid self that you wanted to act on before it left you again. you grabbed ahold of the blondes face at either side, shutting her up mid sentence just in time for your lips to collide with her own with urgency.

her lips were soft against yours, and you could taste the strawberry chapstick you had seen her reapplying a few times during the night as you relaxed into the display of affection. it had taken her a second to kiss back, obviously not expecting you to be so forward, especially after she was so sure you were about to reject her. but once she did, it made the kiss even more enjoyable, her lips worked against yours as if you’d done this before, several times.

you were half enticed to take the kiss a step further, with how good it felt you weren’t wanting to part anytime soon. but when a car drove past, it’s headlights shining through your eyelids, you were made aware of the fact that you were both still very much sat outside of your house, in her car, where anyone could peek in and see you making out with the footballer.

so, reluctantly you pulled back, breathing heavily as you fought to reclaim all the oxygen in your lungs that had ran out during the kiss.

“well.” beth breathed, a smile now working its way onto her slightly swollen lips. “i wasn’t expecting that.”

you both fell into a round of laughter, both just as shocked at how the night had turned around. you never imagined that waking up today, you would end the night by kissing the arsenal striker after she had asked you on a date.

“it’s a yes by the way, if it wasn’t already obvious.”

“hmm?”

“i’d love to go on a date with you beth.”

that noticeably cheered up the woman immensely, she perked up in her seat and the smile you had been obsessing over recently doubled in size. she reached over the console and grabbed ahold of your hand, bringing the back of it to her face so she could press a gentle peck to your knuckles.

“great. i’ll message you tomorrow and we can plan it, yeah?” she said, and you nodded in agreement.

“sounds like a plan.”

with that, you reached for your purse and turned to leave once again, this time less disheartened about having to abandon the woman beside you now that you knew you’d be back together sooner rather than later.

you climbed out, shutting the door behind you before you turned to lean a tad through the open window. “get home safe.”

“i will, don’t worry. i’ll message you when i’m in.”

“yes please do.” you smiled gratefully, “i’ll see you later.”

“bye gorgeous.”

your cheeks burned at the compliment, already liking the turn in your relationship. beth noticed the darker shade in your face and laughed, making you tutt in faux offence as you turned your back on her.

“hey now! none of that. if you can’t handle something as simple as that then you’re gonna hate what i give you on our date.”

“as long as i’m getting fed free food at the same time, i don’t think i’ll care too much.”

again, the blonde laughed and you revelled in how much she seemed to enjoy your humour, the moment taking you back to when you first met her, when you had managed to make her laugh within the first ten minutes.

it was safe to say, signing over to arsenal was easily the best decision you had made in your entire life.

[cybershock24601]

I have more Veilguard time travel thoughts but do you guys think Spirits would be affected too because I've been plagued with thoughts of Spite and Manfred remembering the future and the chaos that would come from that.

Manfred is suddenly talking and Emmrich is delighted though perhaps a bit confused about what has caused this sudden leap in capabilities and why Manfred seems so fixated on birds (Manfred keeps repeating ROOK ROOK ROOK ROOK ad nauseam).

Spite on the other hand is super confused about where is Lucanis, why can't I find Lucanis, I want Lucanis! and ends up going to search for Rook instead because Lucanis always listens to Rook, Rook can fix this. The next part is a little dependent on my Lucanismancer Watcher Rook who is suddenly getting relentlessly badgered in the Fade by an incredibly worked up Spite, manages to calm him down and explain the situation to him, and then says I got you when Spite wants to still help and manages to bind him to a suit of armor. I was originally thinking a skeleton but then I thought about how funny it would be if Rook and Spite were to travel around Thedas Fullmetal Alchemist style with an incredibly mouthy child ready to throw hands at any time and a giant imposing suit of armor with them though Spite isn't nearly as polite as Alphonse, he's just Spite.

So anyways, Rook and a newly bodied Spite make the journey south from Nevarra and by the time they reach Ferelden/Orlais the Inquisition has settled into Skyhold so it'd be a lot harder to deal with Solas so instead they have to settle on just keep an eye on him and making sure he can't cause trouble. Unfortunately, a big suit of armor with glowing purple eyes going to attract a lot of attention especially since Spite is absolutely a mouthy bastard and now Rook has to talk real fast to keep everyone from trying to kill him because they're in the South and just see Spite as a demon and Rook is shouting everyone down with an incredibly impassioned lecture about how the classification of demons and spirits is stupid and they're all just spirits and Spite isn't even (that) malicious. This all ends with Rook and Spite accidentally getting inducted into the Inner Circle because they are a package deal. Do Not Separate or else you're going to have to deal with a very grumpy Spite.

On the bright side at least everyone learns to appreciate Cole a lot more because Spite is a bit of a menace. Especially to Solas but Rook is also an exceptional bitch to Solas. No one can figure out what that one is about because clearly they have some issue with Solas and Solas seems to know exactly what they're talking about half the time but its also incredibly clear he doesn't know them and the entire confusing situation is driving Solas just a little mad because how does Rook know these things?? The reason why Rook seems to get really emotional when they're around Varric or Scout Harding is also a mystery but Rook definitely seems to have latched onto them.

I can also see Emmrich showing up in Skyhold because the Crypt Baby is missing and Manfred seemed to be fixated on finding them so Emmrich volunteers to track them down and Rook and Spite make a rather memorable pair so its easy to figure out where they have gone. His confusion is not helped when they arrive at Skyhold and Spite excitedly goes up to Manfred to show off that he has feet! and hands! Rook may or may not end up explaining the situation to Emmrich even if they're otherwise keeping their mouth shut.

[rachelzeglertruther]

Why You're Wrong About Rachel Zegler

This is a long post, but there's a lot of context missing from the Rachel Zegler "discourse" that I thought I could add with my history of watching this unfold from the beginning.

The Snow White Thing

You probably know this part. There's a curated video of Rachel going viral, framed to make her seem like she's never seen Snow White, she hates the story, she hates the character, she's ungrateful, and single-handedly ruined Disney's brand. The clips from these videos are not new— they were released nearly a year ago in September 2022 and nobody cared about them at the time. Why? Because all the full interviews she did that day at the Disney Exo in 2022 showed a young, charming woman who was excited and proud to be cast in an iconic role. The interviews were very well received and it was a non story. Now that it's been edited down and cut together in a malicious way, and the people sharing them are purposefully misquoting her, they've twisted the context. Normally, this would be a non controversy. Even if that video wasn't taken out of context and spliced together to make her seem like she hates the film, most people wouldn't care. The issue is the response to the video.

Let's get this out of the way: Rachel Zegler doesn't hate Snow White. She relayed that she was afraid of the forest scene as a child and didn't revisit it again until after she was cast in the role. She has since then watched it several times and has expressed for YEARS before that interview came out that she was incredibly honored and grateful to be playing such an iconic Disney princess. If you watch the full videos that those clips came from, this comes across immediately to anyone with their own mind. If you hate someone for being scared of something as a child, I don't know what to tell you. If the role was being given to the biggest Snow White fan, you would be correct that she doesn't deserve it. Unfortunately for you, this role requires talent and Rachel has the Golden Globe and critical acclaim from people who matter within the industry (her peers and critics).

You know who does hate their beloved characters in beloved franchises but the general public still applauds them? Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, and Robert Pattinson. They've all expressed outright contempt for the roles and the films they were part of, but nobody cared. People had fun with their quotes but they still respected them. Rachel said nothing even closely resembling their remarks, but she's being torn to shreds. Are we seeing a pattern here?

Rachel never said a single bad thing about the character or the animated film— she said that it was outdated and that set people over the edge, foaming at the mouth to have her burned at the stake. If you think it would be perfectly fine to have a movie about an abused 14 year old girl run away to play housemaid for a bunch of men, get kissed in her sleep/death by an adult man, and then wake up to fall into his arms in 2024, that's certainly a hot take. If you're against remakes, direct your ire at Disney. But if you truly think that plot would work with young girls today, you're the one who's out of touch. It would do far more harm than good to portray a young woman in that light.

She also never said that there was anything wrong with romance or love. She said that the new Snow White wasn't only dreaming of that. I can't stress enough that this wasn't her decision… she was describing the plot of the new film that was written by Greta Gerwig and approved by Disney. There's a prince in the film and he will also have a more developed personality and storyline. If you have a problem with the writing, wait until it comes out so you can write your strongly worded letter to Greta. If you have a problem with the concept in general, take it up with Disney. There's no need for you to be defensive over hurting the legacy of a multi-billion dollar company or a 87 year old cartoon written by a proud racist antisemite. This is the most confusing part of the hate campaign to me because it wasn't even her opinion— she was literally describing the plot of the film she had nothing to do with. It also isn't a new thing. Disney actors have been promoting their newer films this way for years.

It's perfectly okay to like things that are problematic. It's becoming an issue that we refuse to acknowledge that maybe some things we love are harmful. What we can't do is justify why it's not problematic, and in fact everyone who calls it out is the problem and NOT their precious cartoon. The 1937 Snow White was an amazing feat of animation. It's a classic for a reason. But it was also Hitler's favorite film and was directed by a white supremacist (the one who is "rolling in his grave" due to Rachel's existence, according to his son). Things don't exist in a vacuum and we can't ignore the bad parts.

How We Got Here:

The thing that everyone is missing is the source of this campaign. This started in September of 2020 when transphobic actor Gina Carano made fun of trans people by changing her pronouns to beep/bop.boop. Rachel indirectly called her out by coming to the defense of the trans community.

She never called out Gina by name (though she rightfully could have). Mind you, Rachel's first film hadn't come out yet. Nobody knew who she was outside of those of us who were anticipating West Side Story and were fans of her covers on YouTube. She was a "nobody" in the industry. Take this part with a grain of salt because I can't confirm it, but Gina and her fans directly blame Rachel for her being banned from Twitter. Again, I really don't think that matters as she's harmful to the trans community and shouldn't have a platform. What does matter is that fans of Gina (which, let's be real, are just fans of transphobia) have been stalking Rachel's every move since then. Unfortunately for them, there wasn't much they could use against her other than to call her woke and #snowbrown when she was cast a year later as the Disney princess. The noise has always been there, but unless you were a fan of hers, you probably didn't hear about it. It wasn't until two years after this that they had something else against her.

If you've recently seen a video of Rachel crying circulating that claims to be her reaction to the recent Snow White backlash, it's an old video. It's from a vlog from her youtube channel posted in June 2022. It was in response to these exact same transphobic anti-woke conservatives who thought that they had something when she did an interview on the red carpet of the Shazam premiere. When asked why she joined the DC universe, she responded "I needed a job." It was generally well received by most people who thought it was cute and funny, but those who were waiting in the shadows latched onto it as an excuse to send her death threats.

The video was also about a month after she was invited to present at the 2022 Oscars and was made to seem like she bullied the Academy (as a no name newcomer, mind you) into letting her attend. In reality, a fan left a comment on her Instagram asking what she was wearing to the event. She responded that she wasn't invited but would be rooting for everyone from her couch in her boyfriend's pajamas. It was the public who demanded she get an invite and the Oscar's must have agreed that it was very odd that the lead actress of a film that was nominated for Best Film wouldn't get an invite. Whether it was an oversight on their part or a scheduling issue with Rachel's filming, I truly think there was no malicious intent from either party. Keep in mind, she used to be very active with her fans (she's a huge fangirl of things herself and has always had a strong relationship with her fans) and she wasn't used to her comments becoming articles and national tv segments. This was the first time it happened to her. It appears she learned that she's not just a girl who posts on YouTube anymore and she's going to be put under a microscope for every move she makes. She has since shut down her Instagram comments and rarely interacts with fans outside of liking comments these days because of this.

I know this is long, but I need people to understand where this is all coming from. It didn't just happen out of nowhere. It's an orchestrated campaign built by violent conservatives, and thousands of women who saw Barbie this summer are hopping on the bandwagon to beat another woman into submission because they have a lot of internalized misogyny to deal with. She's not smug, you just hate women. It's okay to find people annoying, but it's valuable to look into why you think that. If you see a confident young woman expressing views that don't actually harm anyone and you think she needs to be "humbled" and "put in her place" by the entire internet dogpiling her, you've lost your mind. Using "body language experts" (fake job) to diagnose her as a psychopath is so vile. Everytime someone mentions her name online, the comments beneath it are full of the most violent, misogynistic, racist things I've ever seen. If you're contributing to that, you've chosen your side. Reevaluate or seek help.

I'm tired of seeing this happen to young women. We let this happen to Jennifer Lawrence, Brie Larson, Millie Bobby Brown, Halle Bailey, and Jenna Ortega. It's one thing to call out celebrities and hold them accountable when they're doing something actively harmful, but that's not what this is about. That's never been what this is about. We pick these girls to pieces and examine them and pull them apart to justify our hatred of young women who rise to success too quickly for our liking. We dogpile and try to stamp out the flame before they burn too bright. Barbie is still in theaters and you all loved it, yet you're demanding that a bright girl with a big future be small and submissive and humbled because you have issues. That's not feminism. You're just the girls who would have bullied Weird Barbie for using her hands too much when she talks.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Midnight | Chapter 24 FINAL | S.R

Previous Chapter

Summary - eighteen months after narrowly escaping the motel explosion, finally you and Spencer seem to have found your happy ending. But old habits die hard and you can’t help but keep one last secret from him.

Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending

Warnings - explosions, fires, burns, scars, swearing, secrets, injuries.

WC - 4k

Chapter 24 - Partners in Crime

Eighteen Months Later 

Luke Alvez squeezed his eyes shut tightly against the assault of a headache pressing against his temples. They happened less frequently now, maybe only about once every few weeks but it didn’t make them any less of a pain. 

When he closed his eyes he was met by the same scene he’d pictured every time he closed his eyes for the last year and a half. Spencer’s face contorted into a malicious smile as he’d pulled that trigger and disappeared inside that vent as the little Cave Creek motel room exploded into flames. 

The sound of the gun going off and the gasoline igniting, Emily’s screams from somewhere behind him to get down echoed in his mind along with the ringing in his ears that hadn’t been silenced for days following. 

Luke was, as the doctors and nurses and all his team kept telling him, lucky. Lucky, what an incredibly frivolous summation. Lucky. He was lucky he hadn’t been more seriously injured, lucky to have gotten out of there alive. 

Lucky. 

Lucky that his old teammate, his old friend, hadn't killed him. He knew they were only trying to help but Luke didn’t feel lucky. Not in the slightest. 

He opened his eyes as the dull throb continued at his temples, one of the side effects from the blast that had thrown him halfway across the motel room. His eyes landed on the backs of his hands still poised over the keyboard and the scarred skin he had to look at every day. 

Again he’d been lucky that in trying to drag himself from the fire that he’d only sustained second degree burns on his hands. He’d had to wear bandages for nearly three weeks after the event and have his wounds treated regularly before the blisters started to scar. 

It didn’t hurt anymore, but they were a constant reminder of that day. They were a twisted memento of the day he failed to save you, and unfortunately for him it wasn’t the only one. 

After eighteen months sightings of you and Spencer were few and far between. At first the tips had come in thick and fast, people claiming to have seen the two of you anywhere from Florida to the Outer Hebrides. For a long time Luke had lost his belief that they would ever find you. 

And some days he thought maybe that was for the best. You’d made your choice and him and the BAU weren’t it. Maybe one day he’d be able to accept that and move on with his life. 

He heard a door open across the room and braced himself for what was to come without looking up from his hands. 

“We’ve got a case.” Emily’s voice carried across the bullpen followed by the shuffling of chairs and footsteps. 

Luke exhaled and forced his eyes onto his computer screen, hand moving to his mouse and shuffling the cursor over to the little X on the corner of the window. Before he closed it, he took one last look at the message on his screen, a rare smile pulling at the corner at his lips. 

If anyone was to find out about this he could lose his job and honestly the FBI was the only thing he had left these days. But admittedly, he wasn’t sure he cared anymore. He’d taken a vow to uphold the laws of this country but some things were more important than that. 

He read the brief message over again in his head. Maybe he was going soft, but maybe he also knew that even Penelope Garcia herself wouldn’t be able to trace this and therefore it would be fruitless letting the rest of the team in on this. 

He glanced over his shoulder and removed his hand from the mouse. Once he was sure no one was nearby he typed a quick reply before hitting send and pushed his chair back. When he looked up, JJ was standing over him like he knew she would be, the same melancholy smile on her face she gave him every damn day. 

He allowed her to take him by his scarred hands and help him to his feet. He’d stopped fighting it by now. At first he’d found it humiliating, but after a year and a half he’d stopped opposing his friend's help. It did make his life easier after all. 

Once he was on his feet she handed him the cane that was resting against his desk and he nodded his thanks to her. She motioned for him to go ahead, always letting him go first so she could be behind him just in case he stumbled. 

He closed his eyes again as he leant his weight on his good leg, the ringing in his ears almost immediately returning as he did so, accompanied by the bright orange flash from the blast. And then another sound entered his field of consciousness. 

“Alvez? Alvez? Luke!” Emily screamed to be heard over the chaos, trying to duck under the fire to see him. 

“I’m ok.” He coughed, smoke instantly starting to fill his lungs. “He went out the vent, send the team round the back!” 

“I’m not leaving you here!” She called back from just inside the motel door. 

“I’m fine, Prentiss!” But he wasn’t fine and he knew it. 

When he tried to move an agonising pain shot up his left leg. He managed to internalise his yelp so as not to worry Emily but the pain made him dizzy. 

“I am not leaving you here!” She yelled back, coughing a little herself as she tried to waft the smoke out of her face. 

“Prentiss I said-“

“Never leave a man behind.” She cut him off, knowing she was speaking his language. 

He tried to move again but his leg wouldn’t allow him to stand. The fire was spreading, getting closer to him with every passing second. He turned towards the door where he could just about make out the faint outline of Emily through the thick plumes of smoke. 

If he didn’t do something soon he would die here. 

“I think I can get to you.” He tried to sound more determined than he felt. 

He covered his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his shirt to try and limit the intake of fumes into his lungs. He rolled onto his stomach to keep himself low to the ground and using his free hand he started pulling himself towards the door. 

He felt like he was dragging a dead weight. The heat in the room was stifling and every part of him thought it would be easier to just give up. But he knew he couldn’t. 

Behind him the sound of ripping plaster filled his ears seconds before he heard the crash of another explosion and the floor beneath him shook. 

He whimpered a little, tears filling his eyes and hindering his vision even more so than the smoke was already doing as he clawed his way forward. 

“Follow my voice, Alvez. I’m right here!” Emily shouted, getting down on the floor herself and reaching blindly through the grey blanket of smog.

Luke saw her fingers brushing against the carpet and desperately tried to reach for her but the pain coursing through his leg was nearly debilitating. But he had to press on, he had to get out of here. 

He coughed against his sleeve trying to focus on the smell of his laundry detergent as he used the thick, old shag carpet to pull himself forward. Eventually he felt Emily’s hand gripping his wrist and she helped tug him through the wall of smoke just as the fire rumbled and spread to the soles of his shoes. 

She yanked him across the threshold of the motel and into the fresh air outside. Another set of strong arms suddenly wrapped around his upper torso and carried him across the parking lot until he was far enough away from the blaze ripping apart the little motel room.

Once he was released, Luke collapsed onto the tarmac, spluttering and coughing, trying to gasp for the clean air to refill his aching lungs. He rolled onto his back and looked upwards. Emily and Matt were crouched over him, Emily’s hand coming to rest on his cheek. 

“You scared me there, Alvez.” She smiled but he noticed the tears behind her eyes. 

“Told you I was fine.” He coughed again. “Did you get them?” 

“Don’t worry about that right now. For now you need to-”

“Did you get them?” He cut her off and her expression told him exactly what she was going to say before she said it. 

“No, they got away.” 

“Prentiss?” Matt’s voice spoke up. Emily let go of Luke’s face and turned to the other man who was kneeling by Luke’s side. “We need a medic, asap.” 

Matt’s voice was so quiet Luke barely heard him over the sound of the commotion going on around him. But he knew by the pain rapidly worsening in his left leg that Matt was right. 

But before Luke had a chance to hear anymore, the pain consumed him and his eyes fluttered closed despite his attempts to keep them open. And he must have blacked out, because the next he would be conscious of would be waking up in a hospital bed. 

He was lucky to ever have been able to walk again. The doctors had told him when he’d woken up in hospital that he may be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. But Luke had beaten the odds because he was lucky. 

He would probably never walk unaided, without the use of his cane and he would always have a limp. He could no longer go out into the field with the rest of the team. But he was lucky because he could walk, the damages sustained to his leg when he’d been tossed across the room in the blast hadn’t completely ruined his life. 

Because he was lucky. 

Some fucking luck. 

***

The soft breeze came in through the open balcony door, causing the net curtains to flutter. From the bed came a grumble as he raked his hair back from his sweaty forehead. Even the wind was hot. 

Sometimes he wondered why, of all the places in the world, they’d chosen to live somewhere so freaking hot. Growing up in Vegas he’d gotten used to hot climates but this was something else entirely. 

Spencer Reid was not built for the heat. 

Sound from downstairs wafted through the open bedroom door and he knew if he didn’t get himself up soon then it would only be a matter of time before he was forcibly removed from this bed. 

He rolled onto his side, the thin bed sheet clinging to his sweat slicked naked body as he did so and having to physically peel it off of himself so he could get up. 

He passed through to the en-suite and jumped straight in the shower, running the water particularly cold to the point it was enough to cause goosebumps to flare on his skin. God how he missed being cold sometimes. 

After his shower he grabbed a towel off of the rail and slung it around his waist. He looked at himself in the mirror over the sink, a hand instinctively raising to run through his ever growing facial hair. It didn’t help with the heat but he really liked the way it looked on him, and he knew he wasn’t the only one who appreciated it. It also helped to disguise his appearance because he never knew when someone might recognise him. 

He dried himself off before dressing in a pair of shorts, possibly the first pair he’d ever owned in his life, and a polo shirt. He swept his damp hair back off of his face before leaving the room. 

The house was large and airy, neutral coloured walls and carpet and minimal furniture. It was a world away from his pokey, dark apartment in DC, but it suited this new era of his life. 

As he made his way down the stairs the sounds grew louder. The French doors were propped open, if he listened close enough he could hear the distant cadence of the sea lapping at the shoreline. 

You had your back to him, standing on a chair whilst trying to tack something to the wall. He smiled to himself and approached with caution. 

You wore a long, flowy pale yellow sundress covered in flowers. Your hair, which you’d dyed for the same reason he grew out his beard, shone in the sunlight beaming through the windows. 

“You know,” he spoke as he closed in on you, placing his hands on your hips and gently tugging you off of the chair and onto the floor. “I’m tall enough to hang that without being a hazard. You could have waited.” 

You turned to face him, pouting your bottom lip at him in a way that always made him chuckle. 

“If you didn’t sleep so damn late maybe I could have.” You huffed which caused him to laugh harder. 

“Maybe if someone hadn’t kept me up all night, I might not have slept so damn late.” He gently kissed your forehead and moved past you to grab the end of the sign you’d been trying to tack up.

You huffed again at the ease in which he was able to do a job you’d struggled with. He stepped back and looked up at the banner as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. 

“See how easy that was?” He chuckled lightly. 

“You don’t need to be smug.” You grumbled. 

“No one’s being smug, it’s called teamwork.”  

“Hmm.” You rolled your eyes but got up on your tiptoes to kiss him all the same. “Did I thank you for your willingness to be kept up all night?”

“I’m not sure I was willing but it was only fair.” He smiled softly at you. “You do owe me a night of being kept up for other reasons though.” 

“Maybe one day. When she’s in college.” You teased him. 

“Only seventeen years to go until I can have crazy all night sex with my wife. Super.” He laughed, kissing you once more before sidestepping you. “And speaking of, where is the beautiful birthday girl who kept me awake all night?” 

The little girl squealed from her highchair as soon as her father turned to face her, her chubby little legs swinging back and forth in excitement. Spencer beamed at his daughter as he picked her up and spun her around, causing her to giggle, before he held her closely to his chest. 

“Happy birthday my sweet princess.” He placed a kiss on her mop of curly hair which she most certainly got from him. 

He turned around and used his free arm to wrap around you, holding both of his girls close whilst looking back up at the banner proclaiming “Happy 1st Birthday Lilith.” 

It wasn’t an easy life, that was for sure. Being on the run with a child was never going to be ideal. But Spencer relished in these moments with his two favourite people in the entire world snuggled against him. For this moment at least he could forget the fact it could come crumbling down any second. 

The two of you had fled the country in a blaze of glory after Spencer had narrowly avoided going up in flames with the motel room. You managed to get a flight using the fake passports you’d gotten back in Virginia when you’d first embarked on this journey before the BAU had locked down all airports in a hundred mile radius. 

You leased this house under the names on the passports; Troy and Daisy Malone. Your daughter was born in the local hospital and although she was legally Lilith Diana Malone, she would always be a Reid in Spencer’s mind. 

Daisy Malone volunteered three days a week at Lilith’s nursery while Troy worked full time at a research facility. The adjustment was made a lot easier for him given he already spoke the language. But the irony was not lost on you at how many years Luke had tried to teach you Spanish and it had taken fleeing the US for you to finally learn it. 

Spencer had gone on the straight and narrow, he hadn’t had any of his murderous inclinations since the two of you left Arizona. He was calmer, his previous anger at the world seemingly left behind in the states. He was finally the man you knew in your days at the BAU, the old Spencer Reid. And even though it wasn’t the dream scenario, you were happier than you’d ever been. 

There would never be a day that the two of you wouldn’t constantly be looking over your shoulders, living in fear that the front door could come crashing down at any minute and the three of you would be ripped apart. But you just had to take every day as it came and make the most of the time you had together. 

“So, what does the birthday girl want to do today?” Spencer tickled Lilith under her chin making the girl giggle again. 

“Well mommy is going to be making a birthday cake and I could really do with focusing on this, because as you know I am not much of a baker.” You gave him a look.

“Understood.” Spencer smiled at you. “Maybe Lil would like to go to the beach while mommy bakes?” 

“I think she would love that.” You nodded, rounding the counter and pulling the recipe up on your laptop. 

“She would, or you would love the alone time?” He smirked at you, jiggling Lilith in his arms.

“Both.” You shrugged. 

Spencer chuckled and came around the counter, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. You cupped his jaw in one hand, running your fingernails through his facial hair. 

“Have I told you recently how much I like this beard?” You hummed against his lips as he kissed you again. 

“Only every day for the last eighteen months.” He laughed, stroking your hair back from your face. “Have I told you recently how much I like this hair colour?” 

“Only every day for the last eighteen months.” You laughed too. 

You placed a kiss on your daughter's cheek before Spencer went about finding shoes for both him and Lilith while you read through your recipe again, only partially understanding what was being asked of you.

“You owe me for this by the way, it's hot as hell out there.” Spencer called from where he was hovering by the back door, sitting Lilith in her stroller and pulling the cover over the top to shield her from the sun's rays. 

“Hey, Puerto Rico was not my first choice of hideaway destination.” You shrugged at him.

“So that’s a no to a birthday blowjob?” He teased.

“Ask me again on your birthday.” You rolled your eyes. 

“See you soon, my partner in crime.” He winked at you as he took the handles of the stroller and wheeled your daughter out the backdoor. 

You smiled to yourself, your hand instinctively coming up to toy with the rose gold heart around your neck which you had never taken off to this day. It wasn’t an easy life, but Spencer made it seem so simple. 

Yours was a tale of reckless love from the start. It was funny to think back, to waiting for Spencer on the other side of that motel vent and thinking there was no way you would all make it out of there alive. You still remembered the way you’d screamed when you heard the explosion and then the relief that had washed over you when he dropped out of the vent and onto the concrete.

As he’d smiled at you and gripped you by the hand and the two of you started to run, the words he’d said that day still echoed through you.

“Until death do us part, princess. I’ll never leave you so easily.” 

Lovers and partners. Partners in life and in crime. Until death do you part. 

You let go of the necklace and turned your attention back to the laptop screen just as an incoming message popped up. Your eyes flitted back up to make sure Spencer was gone before you clicked into it. You tried not to make a habit of lying to him anymore but some things were better kept a secret. 

A clock started to chime from upstairs and you focused on each one and counted them up to twelve as the morning ticked by into the afternoon. Twelve o clock. It happened twice a day but for so long you’d let yourself be ruled by the shadowy midday counterpart. Because sometimes there was no darker place than our thoughts, the moonless midnight of the mind. 

But you were starting to see that midnight also offered its own kind of solace, the dawn of each new day bringing with it the dawn of hope. Even if you’d always be bound by your past mistakes, always doomed to have to watch your back.

However that didn’t seem all that bad when you had Spencer and Lilith in your corner, your dawns; your hopes. 

You had a smile on your face as you clicked into the message and read the brief text on your screen. Having Spencer and Lilith on your side was one thing, but having an extra ally never hurt either. 

Reaching out to him several months ago could have been your biggest downfall but deep down you’d always known you could trust him with your life. And as always, he didn’t disappoint you.   

As you read over the single line of the message, you were sure you could even still hear his voice in your head as he wished you and Spencer’s little conejito a happy first birthday. 

You'll never take us alive.

We swore that death will do us part,

They'll call our crimes a work of art.

You'll never take us alive.

We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners,

Partners in crime.

Partners in crime.

This, the tale of, reckless love,

Living a life of crime on the run.

I brush to a gun to paint these states?

Green and red.

Everybody freeze,

Nobody move.

Put the money in the bag,

Or we will shoot.

Empty out the vault,

And me and my doll will be on our way.

Our paper faces flood the streets,

And if the heat comes close enough to burn ,

Then we'll play with fire 'cause,

You'll never take us alive.

We swore that death will do us part,

They'll call our crimes a work of art.

You'll never take us alive.

We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners,

Partners in crime,

Partners in crime.

Here we find our omnipotent outlaws,

Fall behind the grind tonight.

Left unaware that the lone store owner,

Won't go down without a fight.

Where we gonna go,

He's got us pinned.

Baby I'm a little scared,

Now, don't you quit.

He's sounded the alarm?

I hear the sirens closing in,

Our paper faces flood the streets,

And if the heat comes close enough to burn,

Then we're burning this place to the ground 'cause,

You'll never take us alive.

We swore that death will do us part,

They'll call our crimes a work of art.

You'll never take us alive,

We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners,

Partners in crime.

The skies are black with lead-filled rain,

A morbid painting on display.

This is the night the young love died,

Buried at each other's side.

You never took us alive.

We swore that death would do us part,

So now we haunt you in the dark.

You never took us alive,

We live as ghosts among these streets,

Lovers and partners.

Partners in crime.

Partners in crime.

Partners in crime.

@bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world @daddy-dotcom @nomajdetective @rebelliousstories

[wallflowerimagines]

Bruno Madrigal Crush Headcannons

This man has spent a good portion of his life watching his family through walls, hoping and wishing and yearning for their happiness, even if it doesn't involve him.

Meaning? He has a staring problem.

Bruno actually caught feelings for you from a distance. You're just...so nice. Nonjudgmental. It's what drew his gaze to you in the first place, how everyone felt safe to be themselves around you. He didn't even need to interact with you to see how wonderful you are!

...Which is a problem.

Bruno refuses to approach you-- he can't. It's just not possible.

But he will watch you.

He watches the way you smile and laugh, he's hypnotized by the way your hair bounces when you walk, he wants to take his thumb and rub away the little furrow between your eyebrows that shows up when you're reading intently, kiss your lips every time you bite them--

(Or is that too much, hahahahahahahah-- Kill him, someone anyone please please please---)

Bruno is so, so awkward. While Tio Bruno is funny and adoring with his family, as well as hilariously sassy when he wants to be, people outside his social circle are Not Trusted with anything but The Madrigal Manners. Years of being accused of malicious intent makes it difficult for him to be fully himself in public, and the decades of isolation made him forget all the important social cues.

But you? He's exponentially worse around you.

The few times you've actually spoken with Bruno, he was both Supremely Polite and a Tongue Tied Disaster.

He comments on easy, obvious topics, like the weather or the weekend, but he talks so quickly he can't breathe and starts laughing at things that aren't even jokes. He'll open doors for you or pull out your chair, but will trip over the door frame or accidentally tip the chair over and scramble to pick it back up.

You make him a mess. You whip his thoughts so frothy he can barely remember what he's said, let alone focus on putting up a wall. It's incredibly endearing, and it makes his crush on you supremely obvious.

He's had one or two childhood crushes, but it has been literal decades since the last time his heart beat this fast. It was so bad that this idiot (affectionate) literally thought he was having a heart attack the first time you made eye contact with him--Fully clutching at his chest and panicking before darting away to get some help.

There is a certain amount of guilt he feels about his crush. After all, he's not exactly prime husband material. Bruno is acutely aware of how old he is, and there aren't many love stories out there for people his age(a crime imo). "The fifty year old uncle" is usually the creepy antagonist in drama, never a romantic hero. Besides that, there's the matter of his reputation. Even with the rest of the Madrigal family working to repair it, there are still parts of the Encanto that don't like the weird fortune-telling hermit that LIVED IN THE WALLS OF HIS OWN HOUSE FOR SOME REASON.

(....There is also a little bit of guilt of the Catholic variety. His thoughts about you can get pretty spicy late at night. After one of those he can't bring himself to even look at you.)

Bruno won't confess his feelings to you if he can help it. He doesn't think he deserves romantic love, especially not from someone as wonderful as you, and the last thing he wants to do is burden you with his feelings. He's been enough of a burden already. He will try to get over you before he even considers hinting that he likes you.

Unfortunately, Bruno's resolve isn't as strong as he wishes it was.

Every time he tries to suppress his feelings, someone will simply say your name in passing and it's enough to fully divert his train of thought back to how kind you are, how funny, how understanding....

Fantasies have always been a huge coping mechanism for him, but lately, baby you are the star of every. single. one.

Some are realistic: He pictures the two of you hand in hand, walking to the market, and he's somehow managed to be funny and charming enough to make you smile just for him.

Or maybe you have a suitcase packed and ready to leave the village--it's raining of course--and Bruno will run out to you, pull you into a tight embrace and kiss the idea right out of you.

He could live out his childhood dream and be the director of a theater troupe, while you, his newest actor shaking with nerves, ask him to run through your lines together. He agrees, comforts you through your stage fright, and as your practice ends the chemistry between you both is electric enough to crackle. He just knows you'll do great things together...

Bruno is his best self in every fantasy, of course, witty and charming and without a single grain of sand in his hair. Often, in private, he has his rats reenact his favorite daydreams. (Whichever Rat that plays you gets extra treats. It's the most coveted role.)

...Eventually, though, his wistful sighing and blatant eavesdropping on any conversation involving you start to get on his Family's nerves. They've been supportive of his crush--why wouldn't they be, they've met you, you're great!-- but it's also obvious Bruno is going to need a helping hand.

Mirabel in particular gets it in her head to play Cupid after she sees how happy her Tio gets talking about you. She gathers up the youngest generation of Madrigals, and all of them begin conspiring ways to push Bruno into as many situations with you as possible.

Isabella invites you over to help garden, while Luisa gets her Tio to come help her organize where the pots should go. Antonio begs you to play hide and seek with him and his animal friends, and it's not like Bruno can resist his nephew's puppy eyes either. Mirabel brings Bruno along to tell stories to some of the local village kids, and Camilo makes sure you're nearby to see his Tio in his element.

Bruno immediately picks up on the fact that his nieces and nephews are trying to meddle, but he can't find it in himself to get upset about it.

Besides, it's a little hard to think lately when so many of your pretty smiles seem to be directed at him...

...Maybe he has more of a chance than he thought? 💞

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Reading the Ginny, Luna thought. I have a question, can you rank the Weasleys? From least to your favourite one, and your thoughts about each one of them. Why you like them. what made you dislike them. and the general what do you think of the Weasleys as a whole? I personally don't really like them, but I also don't hate them, I respect them. As I do with every other character that's not Harry, Luna, or Severus.

Well, I'm a bit more loving towards the Weasleys than you are since I'm at least okay with most of them. I think they're not as perfect of a family as some fans think, but I don't think they're as bad as some bashers say they are. I think they are flawed and human and I wouldn't have written them differently for this story if I had the chance to (for the most part). Now, when it comes to my favorite, I know Muriel is a Prewett, but if we're counting her, then she's my favorite. I live for her gossip. But if I'm just ranking the main nine these are my highly subjective opinions about them:

9. Ginny Weasley

I have already explained that I don't like Ginny many times. I find her incredibly annoying.

I don't like her attitude, I don't like how she treats Luna, Harry, Ron, and even Hernione. I despise how she acts towards fluer. She is arrogant as a facade without much to back her behavior up and she's trying to be someone she isn't for all the wrong reasons.

I think she fails at being a well-written love interest, and I dislike her as a person. So she's obviously last.

8. Arthur Weasley

Spots 5-8 were hard to rate since they're kinda the same. Unlike Ginny, it's not that I dislike them. I just don't like them as much as the other Weasleys. Mostly, my feelings about them are just not as intense.

I placed Arthur last here because I think he's kinda stupid. Like, with this scene:

“Harry said good-bye to you,” he said. “Didn’t you hear him?” “It doesn’t matter,” Harry muttered to Mr. Weasley. “Honestly, I don’t care.” Mr. Weasley did not remove his hand from Harry’s shoulder. “You aren’t going to see your nephew till next summer,” he said to Uncle Vernon in mild indignation. “Surely you’re going to say good-bye?”

(GoF, 48)

He's either malicious or an idiot. I'd rather believe that he's an idiot. Unfortunately, I don't like well-meaning idiots that much because I have a competence kink and I like my characters intelligent and capable.

So Arthur is here for the crime of not being to my taste in fictional characters.

7. Molly Weasley

I think she's fine, I don't think she's an amazing mother the way some portray her, but I think she truly loves her kids and Harry and does what she believes is best for them, even when it's not the case.

I think she's a realistic portrayal of a person who grew up the way she did (+ how she was affected by the first war and her brothers' deaths)

I think there's a lot of interesting stuff that could be explored with her character that the fandom kinda ignores, actually. I mean, she's a Prewett. The Prewetts seem to be a way more respected family than the Weasleys. Muriel's behavior, her tiara, and the fact Lucretia Black was allowed to marry Ignatius Prewett — all paint the picture that the Prewetts were a semi-wealthy, well-respected pureblood family. And then Molly goes and marries Arthur, which probably changes her entire lifestyle. Like, idk, I think you can do interesting stuff with this.

5. Bill Weasley

Bill is the cool older brother, and that's basically it. There are some things you can extrapolate into a more interesting character, the fact he left home as soon as he could, his rebellion against his mom (haircut and marrying Fleur), him being a Curse Breaker and therefore having really good grades. He probably studied Ancient Runes and Arithmancy and is an academic guy. I mean, Curse Breakers are basically nerds who like danger far away from home.

Unfortunately for Bill, he's just kinda boring to me. I like him well enough for what he is, he's just a little bland to my taste. I don't have anything interesting to chew on.

5. Percy Weasley

I think Percy can be pretentious and annoying, but he didn't deserve any of the shit he got from his family. I appreciate that he is a critical thinker capable of thinking outside of what his parents tell him, even if he ended up being wrong, his conclusions weren't illogical. He is intelligent, he just makes mistakes, like people do.

I think he is pretty brave for sticking to his guns, to what's important to him and who he really is even when he's constantly made fun of for it. Like, some fans say he should be a Slytherin for ambition, but, I think he is brave, just, not in the way we usually associate with Gryfffindor. I mean, you need to be brave to be a stickler to the rules in Gryffindor, we see how he and Hermione are treated in their house. Plus, everything that went down with him and the family is super interesting. I'm just, not super passionate about his character.

4. Charlie Weasley

Okay, he's the first I actively like on this list. Charlie is basically Bill, but shorter, more autistic, and his special interest is dragons. I think he takes the formula of Bill's character and improves upon it tremendously even though we see way less of him.

There is nothing deep about my love for Charlie. I just think he's cute and I agree with him. Dragons are awesome and if I lived in the Wizarding World I'd probably be a wandmaker, but taming dragons is such a cool profession and would be like number 3 on my list of preferred professions (after magical theorist, assuming that's a thing).

2 & 3. Fred & George Weasley

I like the twins, I think they're funny and I'm not choosing which twin is better, that ain't happening. There is nothing deep about my liking of them as characters either, I just think they're neat. I genuinely find them funny and while they can definitely be cruel, they are being cruel in a world where violence is much more acceptable since most of it can be fixed with a swish of a wand or a drop of potion.

I'm not saying they don't have their flaws, but I find them charming. Also, they clearly can be considerate:

“It’s a simple matter of causing a diversion. Now, you might have noticed that we have been rather quiet on the mayhem front during the Easter holidays?” [George] “What was the point, we asked ourselves, of disrupting leisure time?” continued Fred. “No point at all, we answered ourselves. And of course, we’d have messed up people’s studying too, which would be the very last thing we’d want to do.” He gave Hermione a sanctimonious little nod. She looked rather taken aback by this thoughtfulness.

(OotP, 657)

They're also so smart with their inventions. Like, they invent spells and potions and could probably get these coveted 12 NEWTs if they wanted to, they just don't care for academics for academics first. And they're not just smart magically, they are clever, and they can start and run a successful business.

And they clearly think for themselves outside of their family's opinion. Both in setting up their shop and even they have doubts about Dumbledore (not just Percy):

“Moody was a great wizard in his time,” said Bill. “He’s an old friend of Dumbledore’s, isn’t he?” said Charlie. “Dumbledore’s not what you’d call normal, though, is he?” said Fred. “I mean, I know he’s a genius and everything . . .”

(GoF, 161)

1. Ron Weasley

I love Ron. I think he's genuinely funny, he's got the most emotional intelligence in the Golden Trio and holds that friendship together, he's super loyal even if he has his bad moments he acknowledges his mistakes, and he's so smart.

Like, I hate what the movies did to Ron. He is a member of the Golden Trio with the most common sense. Like, Hermione has book smarts, Harry has cunning and insane magical powers, and Ron has common sense. It's so important that Harry and Hermione have someone who doesn't want to keep people in jars.

I did write about Ron being capable of being mean and ruthless on occasion, and that's a good thing, sometimes that's what you need, and Ron's a strategist, he knows this. When he offered to poison Umbridge I cheered, I really thought we should've let him test it out, as a treat.

I love his friendship with Harry and how much he gets him. Ron knows Harry and he knows to read him better than Hermione does. He lightens up the mood when Hary's angsting or Hermione takes herself too seriously. Like, when things get desperate and dark, Ron tries to make jokes to make the other two feel better, and that shows the emotional intelligence neither Harry nor Hermione have. Like, Ron is such an integral part of the trio.

I love him and his arc and I'm so mad at JKR for undermining his arc in book 7.

[wildpeachfarm]

Listen, I love gnf but he has shown carelessness and no self awareness to things in the past, does that mean he's doing this maliciously or he's predator? Not to me! Rude or just a jerk in that moment maybe! Is that all he is, no! He's shown to me to be incredibly loyal, overall kind, funny, and compassionate when its truly important! And you know what, there was a time where I actually almost dumped both him and sapnap when they were incredibly rude to her on her birthday stream a couple years ago but since she kept hanging out with them, I assumed they talked it out and things we're fine. It's not my responsibility to continue to remain annoyed on another creators behalf when they show the opposite. Course now I'm annoyed at sylvee and prob won't watch her again until otherwise but the situations, at least to me, are very different. My point is no one is perfect and we're all doing the best we can with the tools that are given to us and intent matters. I have hurt my friends on their birthdays too, I have missed when a friend was upset with me, I have made a fool of myself in public because of both being to self aware b and then not at all! We are human and we will forever be learning and growing and we will always be flawed. For me personally? I will continue to consume dteam content, they're craziness and compassion is what makes me like them. I will also no longer let the situation live in my head rent free, there's too much other shit man 😭 I think people need to start letting caiti go because unfortunately the damage is already done for both sides and I truly hope lessons were learned.

If further information comes out that actually shows there has been continuous *intentional* malicious and predatory behavior then I will need to make another decision at that time. I will NOT regret my choice with what has been shown to me. I will not go oh! I should've listened to them because of this or that. The judgement call is based on everyones actions and words and my choice. At the end of the day, they are all just entertainers to me and do not fully define my character. My actions in real life does!

summed it up well with this part here:

We are all deeply flawed humans who will make mistakes but how we learn from them and how we change to better ourselves is what matters in the end. And I agree i don't think there was any malicious intent here which is also important.

[auliisflower]

TAKE ALL THE LOVE

you’ll be safe in my romance, babe

JANIS IMI’IKE X GN!READER

so this isn’t even a request but i fucking love this song (also i’m writing this instead of studying for my exams but its wtvr)

Y/n had never really been interested in getting in to a relationship. Well, not until her.

Janis Imi’ike

Oh god. Y/n could talk about her for days on end. How she would ink little drawings on her hands when she got bored in History class. Or even the little stickers of eyes and random doodles she had in her locker.

She was something else. And Y/n was intrigued, to a point that even their friends had noticed something different about them. Because how could you not notice someone like her? Janis was smart, funny, incredibly gorgeous, talented, artsy, did she mention gorgeous?

Y/n wasn’t technically a nobody at school. They were a part of the debate club, the book club, Hell, they were even a class representative in the student council. But the feeling that they couldn’t shake off was why did they feel like Janis was the only one who didn’t know they existed at school?

Y/n was pining, hard. Which is weird because they haven’t even made a move on Janis yet. “This is so stupid” Y/n thought.

Fuck it.

Highschool will eventually end anyway, what’s the harm in trying to hit up your hot crush? Y/n decided that they’ll introduce themselves to Janis tomorrow. A bold moment for them, surprisingly. But you gotta work for what you want, right?

Doomsday had already come too soon, Y/n strutted into school heading straight for homeroom to wait for lunch. Y/n and Janis had only ever shared two classes. History and Art. Well today, unfortunately, they had no classes together. So lunch it is.

As soon as the bell rang students flooded the hallways to go to the cafeteria. “Are we really doing this?” Y/n thought, “Yes, stupid. Don’t be a wuss” they argued with themselves as their hands fiddled with their headphone wires.

The cafeteria was packed with students, as per usual. Y/n heard their name being called over at the designated “model student table” which was a bunch of crappy, rich douchebags who only ever got as far as their daddy’s money would take them.

“Hey, Keira” Y/n greeted the Student Council President. Keira nodded in response, “So I was wondering if you could come over to my house after school today?” She questioned Y/n. “I just need some help with that annoying Calculus assignment Mrs. Norbury gave us.” She continued when Y/n hadn’t uttered a word in response.

“Oh.” Y/n squeaked out. “Sure.” They replied shortly, not wanting to waste anytime on talking with someone who only wanted them for their brains.

“Thanks love!” Keira winked at Y/n who uncomfortably shuffled around on their feet. Y/n nodded back to Keira as to end their conversation.

Do you ever get that feeling where you know someone’s watching you but you can’t pinpoint who? Yeah, that’s what Y/n was feeling as their conversation with Keira Oliver ended.

Y/n glanced around the cafeteria full of hungry teens and their eyes landed on the “Art Freaks Table”

Janis.

Y/n���s eyes locked with her big brown eyes for a second before she hurriedly looked over to Damian who she was sitting with. Janis laughed awkwardly and Damian stared at her weird.

Huh.

Cute.

Y/n walked over to their table and stood infront of Janis. Was she blushing? Or was the room just crowded?

“Hi!” Y/n grinned at her. “Oh, um-“ Janis muttered out. “Janis, right?” Y/n continued, smiling sweetly at the shorter girl. Y/n could hear someone clear their throat and immediately greeted Damian. “And Damian, hello.”

“Hi, Y/n, what brings you to the art freaks? What’s a goody-two-shoes like you doing here?” Janis finally got her act together, putting up a cold façade because there’s no way this perfect of a person would come up to her without malicious intent.

Damian shot Janis a “I like them, don’t be rude” look. Y/n cleared their throat and answered “Nothing much, I just wanted to say I really liked your art piece at the convention last Friday night!” Y/n grinned at her.

“Oh. Well, um, thank you!” Janis blushed at the them. Damn they was even prettier up close. “Well, I was wondering if you could maybe help me out with a piece I was doing for our art class. I know you’re the best in art, so I figured you were the right person to ask” Y/n laughed nervously

“Shit, shit, shit, oh my fucking god” they thought internally.

“Oh that thing where we have to do a portrait of self reflection? I’m totally down!” Janis replied to Y/n, her cheeks reddening at how Y/n’s eyes lit up at the response.

“Oh really? Cool! So, um, I’ll just see you after school? Is that okay?” Y/n asked carefully.

“Absolutely! I’ll see you soon, Y/n” Janis grinned up at them. God they were so cute. Y/n smiled sheepishly and replied “Thanks, Janis” carefully brushing their hand lightly against Janis’ on the lunch table.

As they walked away, Janis let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. “So you and that hottie, huh?” Damian giggled at her.

“Dude, shut up!” Janis smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

Keep me guessing but don’t keep me waiting for us.

(Hello gays so there will be a part two to this so don’t worry guys!!!! I just have like no motivation rn but I swear I’m trying my best forgive me rn plz)

[maboroshi-no]

Hamefura BluRay S1 Vol 4 SS

Series: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Title / Character: Sophia Source: Anime BluRay S1 Vol 4 Synopsis: Sophia is not afraid of malicious gossip anymore, she sometimes has nostalgic dreams she can't remember, and she works hard so Nicol can marry Katarina one day. Translation: maboroshi-no

I, Sophia Ascart, attended today a tea party that I could hardly refuse since it was held by a family acquaintance.

Unlike long ago when I was confining myself indoors, I had become able to go outside and now, my "different appearance'" was so well-known that people didn't react to it anymore.

Even so, it wasn't like no one reacted anymore. There were still people badmouthing me.

And today, unfortunately, I happened to meet such people for the first time in a while.

Person A: She's just like a demon.

Person B: So eerie.

Person C: We'll get cursed.

They didn't speak to me, but their words uttered so I could hear them pricked my heart. 

If I had been my younger self, I might have run away and confined myself in a room. But,

Katarina: Your silky white hair and your sparkling ruby eyes are so beautiful.

Ever since Lady Katarina told me these words when I was nine, I had stopped hanging my head down.

Because I had someone who told me that I was beautiful, that they loved me, I raised my face and faced forward.

That's why today too, I faced forward instead of hanging my head down, and threw out my chest to show them it didn't bother me.

Thanks to Lady Katarina, I became able to do this.

After holding this stance, they grew tired of my lack of reaction and the malicious gossip became smaller.

Still, continuously facing malicious words and eyes after such a long time was hard.

When the tea party ended and I returned to the manor, maybe because I had relaxed my tensed-up mind, I was suddenly hit with fatigue.

My body felt heavy, and while thinking that it wouldn't be good manners, I immediately returned to my room and slipped into bed.

When I lay on the comfortable sheets, while thinking of almost nothing, I fell into a dream.

In a big all-white building, people of about the same age and dressed in the same uniform came and went. 

But next to me, there was no one.

I was jealously watching these people happily walking side by side.

I was holding in my hand several of my favorite heart-throbbing books, but somehow, they didn't fill me.

I was lonely, I was sad, and when I hung my head down, tears almost fell. At that moment…

Monkey Girl: Hey, let's go home together.

When I raised my face to the cheerful voice, a girl was extending her hand to me.

While bewildered, the "me" in the dream took her hand.

Acchan: *****

When I called the girl's name, she happily smiled.

When I smiled in response, my chest felt incredibly warm.

When I opened my eyes, there was the ceiling of my familiar room.

I seemed to have slept quite soundly. The morning sun was already shining in through the window.

Yesterday, with something unpleasant happening for the first time in a while, I thought I might have an unpleasant dream, but it appeared to have been an unfounded worry.

Rather, I felt like I had a pleasant nostalgic dream.

Since long ago, I would sometimes have nostalgic dreams like this one, but once I woke up, I would have completely forgotten the content.

Still, I would remember the emotions I had felt during it. There would be "sadness", "loneliness" and some others, but today, it was "joy".

The inside of my chest somehow felt pleasantly warm and I also felt refreshed after waking up.

Maybe because I had plenty of sleep, my tiredness was completely gone.

My unpleasant mood from yesterday had also completely disappeared.

Then, since I had made plans to visit Lady Katarina's home today, I got out of bed, quickly called a maid, and had her help me get ready.

And since I had also promised to bring my recommended books, I packed up several books preselected from the bookshelves.

Hmm~~ For love romances, this many should be fine, right?

The knight in this story was so charming.

And the prince in this story was so romantic and good-looking.

The duke in this one was a gentle person who understood girls' hearts so well. Uuh… They were all so good, it was hard to choose among them.

To be honest, while I had finally overcome my fear of people, I was still far from considering love in reality. Even so, after reading books, there were many things I was yearning for.

I would fantasize about my prince charming appearing one day and extending his hand to me, and I would grin after picturing taking his hand and dancing with him.

After all, there were plenty of charming men in books.

But my top ideal was still Big Brother.

Big Brother was strong, kind, composed, and good-looking. He was more charming than any prince of a story.

And it was because he was so charming that I wished so much that he would marry the one he truly loved and be happy… but there were just too many rivals.

I realized long ago that Big Brother had kept having feelings for my beloved Lady Katarina since childhood. 

But because Big Brother was overthinking things and fretting about them, he seemed to be planning on giving up and erasing his feelings, just because Lady Katarina was Prince Geordo's fiancée.

She might be his fiancée but it was a political engagement and absolutely not one where Lady Katarina especially loved Prince Geordo, so I didn't think there would be any problem even if we broke it off. 

After all, there were people like Lady Katarina's mother and Lord Keith working hard to break it off.

Luckily, Big Brother still hadn't decided on a fiancée, so he had a chance if Lady Katarina broke her engagement to Prince Geordo.

This was why I was doing my best every day to appeal Big Brother's good points in his place since he had given up.

Today too, I intended to have Big Brother accompany me and convey his good points to Lady Katarina, even if only a little.

Because Big Brother wasn't in the same grade as us in the first place, so he had less contact with Lady Katarina compared to the other rivals.

Though, if it came down to it, Big Brother could use his devilish charm to make Lady Katarina fall madly in love with him.

In a little extreme romance novel I had read lately, it was written that such techniques also existed. I would teach them to Big Brother eventually. 

While thinking about this, I prepared a selection of books and took Big Brother along. Now, off to Claes Manor.

Surely, Lady Katarina would welcome us with that lovely smile today too.

Just by imagining it, I could walk looking firmly ahead, without hanging my head down.

And I wished for Lady Katarina to become my sister-in-law one day.

Alright~ For this to happen, today too I would push, push, and push Big Brother to her!

[theinfernalsanctuary]

Let's talk about religious psychosis for a minute.

For those of you who don't know, religious psychosis is a mental condition that causes somebody to believe that their hallucinations (both audio and visual) and their ideas that are coming out of this manic state are actually the word of a God or some sort of Deity. This can be really dangerous in any religion, and it's incredibly common in both christianity and satanism because it's so hard to tell the difference between somebody who is experiencing religious psychosis and somebody who is actually had a religious experience.

This is why it's so important that people pay attention to what they are looking at online and who they are talking to online, you never know if the person behind the screen that is telling you all of this information is experiencing some form of religious psychosis. Many people who are experiencing some sort of religious psychosis also have delusions of grandeur. These people tend to place themselves into a higher seat of power, calling themselves a high priestess or a high priest, calling themselves a profit calling themselves the messiah, ect. They aren't doing it on purpose, it just so happens that this is what their hallucinations are telling them, it's not outright malicious. That's not to say that it cannot cause people to do some horrendous things. I mean, we've all heard the cliche of "God told me to" or the "devil told me to." This is where that comes from.

Unfortunately, someone who is actually suffering from religious psychosis will not be willing to seek help, nor will they respond well to being pushed into seeking help because they don't believe that what's happening is bad, they think that this is their god trying to reach out to them. It's really important not to push these people too far but also to not feed into these delusions.

I say it's hard to tell the difference between somebody who is experiencing religious psychosis and somebody who isn't, but there is one tell all, they tend to be much more grandiose about literally everything. Think the crazy mega churches in the southern United States, but then change it so that they DON'T know that everything that they're telling their congregation is bogus, imagine if they actually wanted to help and believe everything they say but still churned out more extremists the way they already do. This is one of the many ways that cults can start because not everything that they say is something super out there and obvious, and if the wrong person sees the right post and thinks that this person knows what they're talking about, there's a high potential that they'll start to overlook red flags. This won't necessarily cause others to experience religious psychosis, though it can happen, more often the people who are following the original person with religious psychosis are not experiencing any hallucinations themselves, but are brainwashed into the hope that if they follow what they're told that they will either be given special treatment in the afterlife or that they may start to experience what we know to be hallucinations themselves.

Please be very careful if you believe that you are dealing with someone who is experiencing religious psychosis, they are not trying to cause problems or harm, they are sick. I bring this up now because the solar eclipse is coming up and there are a bunch of people online right now talking about how it's going to be the rapture or how you'll be able to see the faces of angels/demons if you look up at the eclipse while you're in the path of totality (the strip of land that the sun passes over where the eclipse is the most complete.) None of that is true, please be safe when viewing the eclipse and when interacting with others on the internet.

Ave Satanas!

[clarina04]

In my previous post, I talked at length about why I think Winters and Eugene Roe are the second most perfect pairing after Winnix, so I'll share my opinion on my third place winner, which is Roe and Speirs.

Unfortunately, we don't see them together much during the series, only once, (they don't even communicate with each other) but knowing both of their personalities, I think they'd have a lot of potential.

Basically, they're both introverts, they don't talk much, they keep a few steps away from everyone, but while Roe is respected and loved for who he is, Speirs is more feared and people try to avoid him as much as possible. They're similar, yet they emanate so much different energy, and I think we all feel that perfectly. Eugene has a positive aura that makes you feel safe when you look at him. He's aloof but a sweetheart, caring about the people around him, their needs, their injuries, their physical/mental health and trying to do all he can to help keep them alive. People trust him implicitly, because Eugene has proven time and time again how good a person he is and how conscientiously he carries out his duties. We viewers also like him a lot (for me, he and Winters are the absolute most sympathetic characters).

And then there's Ronald Speirs, who we immediately know as a ruthless, cold-blooded killer, incapable of empathy for either enemies or his comrades. People are spreading malicious rumours about him, which we as viewers can decide whether to believe or not, although I would add that the directors/writers have done a perfect job in this regard, as they have created the character of Speirs in such a way that it gives you the creeps. Just think of the intense, lifeless look he gives others, his emotionless face, his mechanical demeanour, his silent movements reminiscent of a beast stalking its prey, his harsh words... It's as if the creators of this show deliberately wanted us to believe everything bad we hear about him without doubting it.

And now the justification...

We know that Eugene is there to save lives by being a medic, but Speirs doesn't believe at all that he or any of his comrades can come home alive from this war and he makes no secret of that (think of the scene with Blithe in the third episode). Unlike Winters, he doesn't try to inspire those he sees as afraid or desperate, but on the contrary... he even dampens their spirits by showing them no empathy. He tries to make them understand why it is good to be able to turn off their emotions completely and function like a machine, but this attitude only makes them more afraid (again, I can cite the case of Blithe, who was just as terrified as before after Speirs' "advice", but when Winters was there and he tried to shake him up so he could keep fighting, the curse was broken, because once he fired his gun, he was no longer afraid, and that was thanks to Winters).

Just think how interesting it would have been to listen to a conversation between Speirs and Roe, where their world views clashed. They don't even need to talk about these things specifically, just a mere sense of how different their mindsets are. As they would try to make the other understand their own point of view. Roe, who believes in God and prays to him regularly, and Speirs, who can no longer believe in anything and who has long since accepted that he is dead.

And the other thing I would have also watched at least one scene of is the two of them getting into a fight about something. Again, I can only cite the scene in episode 5, where Eugene is yelling at Winters and Welsh for not paying attention to how many ampoules of morphine they gave Moose when he was accidentally shot. Imagine how much more tense the already incredibly tense situation would have been if Speirs had been there instead of Welsh and Roe had been yelling at him. Because I'm pretty sure he would have yelled at him the same way. Eugene doesn't look like he's afraid of any of his superiors, and it's well illustrated in this scene. Even Winters and Welsh respect him, they let him lecture them, because they know exactly that Eugene is right and I have a feeling that Speirs would have reacted the same way they did. He would have kept quiet and I think this because in episode 10, when Grant is shot in the head, Speirs does everything he can to save him. That's the only scene where we see him and Roe together (I wish we could have gotten some interaction on how it all went down between them) and when they find that brain surgeon who finally performs the operation. Here it becomes clear that Speirs actually does care about his people and is not a heartless monster who doesn't care about anything because "we're all dead anyway". Like everyone else, he is tired of the horrors of the war, fed up with it all, and this incident was caused by a drunken idiot, not an enemy soldier. As it was said in the episode, people died the same way after the war was over. And Speirs didn't want any more unnecessary casualties. Enough had already died. That's why he was so desperate, and why he searched everything he could to find the right person to save Grant's life, the one he stayed with all along, interlaced his fingers with his and stroked the back of his hand. And in the meantime, there was Eugene, to whom he didn't speak, but together they fought for the life of a comrade.

The series doesn't reveal what kind of a man Speirs was before the war, (nor about Eugene) but he is certainly more empathetic than we get to know him in the very first episodes. He had his oddities, he had his unsympathetic manifestations, but overall I don't consider him a bad person. He's just a victim who's been emotionally destroyed by the war, but by the end of the show I think he's pretty much back to his old self, or at least changed if he was always like this. He's resurrected.

Overall, my opinion is that they deserved more screen time and interaction, because very interesting conversations could have been generated, which might have even deepened their relationship. Eugene could have been the one to change Speirs' outlook on life with his thinking, or at least help him understand the importance of life and why they are fighting (my god, the amount of angst and hurt/comfort that could have come out of this... I still can't believe the creators didn't take this opportunity and see the potential in the two of them...). And of course I can't forget how intense and satisfying it would be to watch two such strong characters bickering, shouting at each other to prove themselves right, and wondering which one would break first, which one would finally see that the other was right... which one would apologise first and in what form.

[aingeal98]

Cass or Tim for the ask game

Gonna do Cass because she gets favourite blorbo privileges

three facts about them from my personal headcanons

-The dip in the Lazarus Pit removed a few of her latest scars. She's still covered in scars, it's not enough that anyone would notice, most of them look at Cass and are horrified by the bullet exit wounds covering her skin. But Cass knows what each scar is from, and the loss of even a few of them hurts her afterwards for reasons she doesn't quite understand. She got stabbed through the chest by her brother and yet there is no evidence of it. Some nights she gets tempted to scratch at where the scar should be, digging into her skin until she catches herself and snaps herself out of it.

-Her favourite music genre is metal and rock. She doesn't care about the differences between the genres despite Stephanie as a fellow Metallica fan eagerly trying to explain it. Cass just likes "Mosh pit music."

-Due to being homeless as a kid she got used to sleeping anywhere and everywhere. Her favourite place to curl up and hide was inside a washing machine, normally ones that were old and abandoned. She stopped as she got older but the washing machines in the manor are huge so she started doing it again when she felt low. This has given Alfred several near heart attacks when he goes to put clothes in and finds his grandchild curled up fast asleep.

a reason they suck

Batgirl issue 37 is one of my favourite issues and highlights some of the reasons I find Cass a compelling character but it also does objectively show one of the ways she sucks. Projection can be helpful or it can make you too self absorbed so you end up making bad choices. In this case it was the latter.

a reason they are great

Literally everything that makes Batman cool and compelling but with none of the downsides. Her downsides are different from his due to not having the narrative protection of being the white male lead. Her downsides are also deliberately and competently written. For further information see my entire blog.

a reason I relate to them

Autistic, mentally ill, used to be suicidal, awkward socially but enjoys violence not for malicious reasons but purely for the fun of it (I like boxing and martial arts.) Just everything about how she expresses herself and thinks and interacts with other people it's like wow. For a character with such a ridiculously comic book fantasy backstory she sure is incredibly relatable in down to earth ways!

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character

Stephcass. Steph is the Lois to Cass's Clark, the MJ to Cass's Spiderman. But Steph is also a vigilante in her own right and that adds extra flavour. If DC would give me one of those six issue mini runs they're so fond of I could do so much with it.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened

-Her Batgirl run should have had a proper conclusion not pushing her towards character assassination evil turns

-She should have become Batman.

-She should have been a part of the family from the beginning of the New 52 era. An essential part, closer to everyone than Jason and with more years in the family than Damian.

-She should have gotten to kiss Steph by now but I'll accept it if DC makes it happen this year.

-She should have gotten one final confrontation with David Cain where he comes back to life for 24 hours to remind DC of why her original run hit so hard and center her more on those themes than on being random Batgirl number 2.

five people that character never fell in love with and why

-Kon El. He's a good friend but she's a lesbian.

-Tai'darshan. He was a valuable part of helping her understand what she liked and didn't like romance wise but unfortunately he fell on the "didn't like" side in the end. Also she's a lesbian.

-Zero. He was her first fun civilian romance and while it wasn't serious it was nice while it lasted. It never would have been able to get serious though for multiple reasons. One of which being that she's a lesbian.

-Tim Drake. Shockingly being a lesbian is not the only main reason for once. Here it's also due to them being adopted siblings. While he loves Cass and was canonically mildly attracted to her at times during the early days, by the time they became adopted siblings they'd been through enough that any potential had fizzled out into pure platonic sibling menace energy.

-Harper Row. Being a lesbian is not an issue here at all actually. The issue is that in Harper's universe Cass killed her mom and in Cass's main universe she killed someone else and never met Harper until the world rebooted. Cass is not emotionally mature enough to wade through all that for a relationship. Especially when she can choose to wallow in guilt and stare awkwardly and painfully at Harper when Harper doesn't notice instead.