#unfortunately i absolutely will continue to use tampons

[lesbakerstuff]

tldr: tampons are made of cotton, which can take up lead from soil. the soil can get lead from lead in the atmosphere, wastewater containing lead, or pesticides/fertilizers with lead!

im curious if there's ever been a study looking at blood lead levels in menstruating people who use tampons vs who don't - controlled for other lead exposure methods ofc

my period is back again and id like to take this moment to remind everyone with a uterus to avoid using tampons at all costs, if you can. a recent study was conducted with 14 different popular brands of tampons, revealing that every single one of them contained toxic metals such as lead, arsenic, and more.

[backtobackbakubabe]

Speak Easy Part 5

Bakugo x Reader, Dabi x Reader

Words : 4804

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together?

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

*********************************************************************

It had been a few days since Bakugo had visited. Dabi was so torn between wanting to punish you for being a brat and praising you for finally walking. On one hand it was a law that you worked out every day. It was in writing and you had tried to tell him you weren’t going to do it.

Part of him knew he was only so worked up over it because it had happened in front of Bakugo. If it had happened any other day, he would have given you a quick spank and just thrown your ass in the pool anyways.

The look on your face had made it worth it though. To see that tenacious side of you, the one that looked like it was ready for a fight… Yeah, he could get used to seeing that look.

Then there was the aftercare of your little outburst. You had let him hold you all night. He didn’t know if that was intentional or if you had only reached for him in sleep out of instinct. He remembered how you had reached for Bakugo and it gave him a headache. For now, he chose to not make a big deal about it.

It had been a long day and you were ready to pass out. Dabi had taken the training wheels off and was starting to make you walk more and more on your own without his help. He was always quick to laugh when you fell on your ass with a taunt of, “You look like Shoto when he was a toddler. Don’t worry I didn’t help him either.” The only time he did help you, was to help you into the high barstool at the kitchen island. Making more jokes about you needing help getting into your highchair and asking if you needed him to feed you too.

You didn’t know if it was the fatigue or the teasing, but something had you in a foul mood. You flipped him off, ~I hate you~.

Dabi’s eyes softened in an almost annoyingly affectionate way, “No you don’t.” He handed you the bowl of ice cream you had begged for. “Good work today. I gave you an extra scoop.” He winked, took out his own spoon, and quickly stole a bite.

Your mouth hung open at his audacity. ~No! Wrong! Hate!~

He laughed loudly, “I said I gave you an extra scoop! You’re not gonna miss one bite!” He reached his spoon back out, “Just for that I’m gonna take another.”

You smacked his hand away and furrowed your eyebrows at him, ~Mine.~

He feigned shock, “I’m sorry… did you just… hit me?”

You stuck your tongue out at him and shoveled a huge bite of ice cream into your mouth. It was way too much and if you weren’t so intent on being a brat you would have laughed. Dabi however was in no laughing mood as he saw the melted ice cream dripping down your chin.

He reached out squished your cheeks together with one hand. He hovered over you, enjoying the height difference and absolutely losing it over the look of pure innocence in your eyes as the ice cream continued to slip past your lips. He leaned closer to you and whispered in a husky voice, “You’re making a mess… Now. Swallow.”

Your eyes connected with his and you obediently swallowed what was left of the ice cream. He swiped a thumb across your bottom lip to collect what was left before sucking into his mouth all the while keeping his eyes focused on yours.

You swear he was leaning in even closer when the loud clanging of your spoon hitting the table broke you apart.

He cleared his throat and pushed himself away from you. You had to focus really hard on not pouting. Why were you disappointed? Had you wanted him to kiss you? Or were you just horny again? This was a question you had been faced with a lot in your adult life, because as much as you hate to admit it… your quirk does make you a total horn dog. It’s been what? YEARS since you had good and proper sex.

You shuddered as you remembered back to the lab. You had sex there a few times… but… you couldn’t really say if it was any good on the account that you don’t remember most of it. What you did remember, you wish you didn’t. They hadn’t called it sex… they called it ‘research’, and boy where they a fan of their research.

Dabi lifted your chin to force you to look at him, “Hey where did you go just now?” He saw the tears pooling in your eyes and he felt a spike of panic at the thought the he was the cause of them. “Hey… hey I’m sorry. I take things too far sometimes.” He went to lower his hand but your gripped it and brought it back to your face. Needing his presence to anchor you to the present before you spiraled into memories of the past.

“Take a deep breath for me, okay. I need you to take a deep breath then I need you to hold it until I say so. Can you do that?” You hadn’t even realized your breathing had started to tighten until he said something. You nodded slowly as you tried to remember back to your hero training. You took a deep breath in through your nose. “Good girl. Now hold it and count to ten.” You did as he said before letting a shaky breath out of your mouth. “You’re doing great, just keep doing that. Is it okay if I pick you up?”

Your eyes widened. Did you want to be held? Or did you want to lock yourself in your room. You didn’t even know. You didn’t know what you wanted right now, what you needed. Would you find comfort in his embrace, or would you feel confined? So, you just stared back at him and shrugged.

“Law number one. I need a yes or no. You can do that. I know you can.” You gulped and nodded your head. He picked you up, but instead of picking you up bridal style like he usually did, he picked you up like he would a child. Wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

He walked you back to your room abandoning the rest of the ice cream to melt on the counter. You buried you face into his neck and you felt his fingers comb through your hair. He sat down on the bed and pulled you close to him. “I’ve had my fair share of anxiety attacks. They suck… ass. I get that. The only thing you can do is breath and try and clear you mind.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair, and you could feel your heartbeat start to slow down to match his. “So, uh… I guess I’ll try to distract you. I could tell you a story about me. Would you like that?”

You could already feel yourself starting to calm down, but you didn’t want to pass up on an opportunity to learn more about him, so you simply nodded and burrowed further into him.

You could feel him shift uncomfortably underneath you. “When I first got away from my family. I was just a dumb kid. I was angry and hell bent on proving to anyone who even looked my way that I was strong. Once I was running an errand for the league at a local market and I saw Shoto. It was after his accident, but his hair was a dead giveaway. He was there with Fuyumi, I think she was just trying to keep him busy.”

He leaned back and pulled you with him making the two of you more comfortable. “I saw his scar and was so sure that our dad did it. I was ready to hunt him down and kick his ass.” He sighed before letting out a small chuckle, “But then the squirt did the weirdest thing. It was like he was drawn to me. I looked nothing like the brother he knew. Black hair, scars, and staples, But he broke free of Fuyumi and ran straight towards me. Out of instinct I leaned down to pick him up, but he stopped right as he got to me. He put a hand up to my face and then to his own scar. He looked me square in the eyes and said ‘Ouch’ and then just ran away.”

You smiled, that definitely sounded like Todoroki. The more you thought about it, there were definitely some small similarities between the two brothers. Not that you’d mention that to either of them.

Dabi continued to talk and tell you stories until you eventually drifted off into dreams of young Dabi and what he would have been like. Your mind conjured up images of him in a UA uniform. Him competing in a sports festival. Him in a library studying for exams.

Unfortunately, your dreams didn’t last long. You woke a few hours later with a stabbing pain in your abdomen. You whimpered as you tried to roll over in an attempt to find a position that would alleviate the pain. Instead you rolled straight into the lean body of Dabi. Oh no. Dabi. You needed to get cleaned up before he woke up.

You tried to roll away from him, but his arm snaked around you and pulled you closer, “Y/n? What’s wrong? Have a bad dream?” He remembered that he wasn’t going to get a verbal answer, so he opened his eyes to see you looking absolutely miserable. “Y/n? Are you okay?”

You nodded but then winced when a really bad cramp rocked through you. You had always had really painful periods, but you hadn’t had to feel it in it’s full affects in years.

“Bullshit, you don’t look okay. Are you sick?”

Not even bothering to answer, you pushed away from him and slowly made your way to the bathroom. He leaned over to turn the bedside lamp on and that’s when it clicked for him. “Holy shit! How are you even alive, that’s a fuck ton of blood. I’ve been stabbed before and I didn’t bleed that much.”

You knew he was just being dramatic, but it still made you cringe that he was witnessing this. You could hear him stripping the sheets as you turned the shower on. Now all your recent mood swings made sense. Just last night you had been pissed, horny, and crying all in the span of several minutes. Stupid hormones.

When you stepped out of the shower there was a box of tampons and a box of pads sitting on the counter next to the sink. Just seeing them made you pout. You fucking hated your period.

You stepped out once you were dressed and heard the buzz of the dryer. Surely there was no way Dabi had cleaned the sheet that fast. You walked out of the bedroom to see him rushing towards you with a massive blanket. He stopped when he saw you standing in the hallway. “Uh… okay. So, game plan. I warmed up a blanket. I have Fruits Basket queued up and chocolate chip pancakes are on stand bye.”

Your eyes widened ~How?~

“How what? How did I know?” You nodded and he you swear to god he blushed. “I uh… I may have texted my brother. Who texted Bakugo, who called me, and now here we are.”

That made more sense. Katsuki had always been the only one who could handle your mood swings when you were menstruating. Everyone else claimed you were too scary. When you were younger your quirk would become unpredictable and it would randomly activate at the most inconvenient times. Your quirk used to be heavily influenced by your emotions, and when your monthly cycle came around it was almost impossible to control your emotions.

It took him a few tries but eventually Katsuki got the routine down. Warm blanket, something sweet, and some sappy anime, which we’d never admit it, but he actually loved.

You accepted the blanket from him and hobbled towards the couch. You pulled your knees to your chest in an attempt to get comfortable. Dabi disappeared but quickly returned with the pancakes. “I’m an idiot for not thinking about this. It obviously was going to happen at some point. You’ve been here for about three weeks.”

~Thank you~ You took the pancakes from him and he gave you a weird look.

“Okay I’m not good at the whole taking care of others thing. So… do I leave you alone? Do you expect me to watch this shit with you?”

You glared at him as you ate your pancakes and because you were already in a bad mood… you shrugged. Did you do it on purpose to piss him off. Of course.

He growled before throwing himself down on the couch next to you. “You’re lucky you don’t feel good you fucking brat. I’m really trying to be nice.”

You ignored him and hit play. You knew you were being ridiculous, but you also couldn’t stop yourself. It was like you wanted his attention any way you could get it. You finished your pancakes and were about two episodes into the show, but your cramps hadn’t subsided. You whined as you hugged the blanket around you and started to toss around trying to find a position, any position that would help with your cramps.

You thought Dabi had fallen back asleep, so you were scared shitless when his arms wrapped around you and pulled you down onto his chest. He was laying on his back pinning your chest to his. You could barely see the blue of his eyes in the dark. He looked so tired though. “Just smack me if it’s too much… but do you trust me?”

You bit your lip but nodded anyways. You knew by now that Dabi would stop if you asked him to. So, while you were nervous about what he was going to do, you also trusted him to listen to you.

He reached his hands around and pushed his hands just past the waistband of your sleeping shorts. Your breath hitched but his hands stopped there. You wondered what he was doing, but then his hands started to heat up and oh shit did it feel good. It was like he was your own personal heating pad.

You hummed into his neck and shifted a little bit to sink further into him. You hiked one of your legs up and wiggled to push yourself into his hands more, chasing the warm comfort.

You stayed like that for a while. The tops of his fingers ghosting over the curve of your ass as his palms pressed into your lower back. It was honestly impressive how he his hands were just hot enough to feel good without burning you.

Dabi sucked in a breath, “You like that huh?” He pulled you closer to him. His hands started to knead into your lower back as he buried his nose into your hair. You let out a groan at how good it felt. Before you could stop yourself you grinded down on his thigh. “Oh, you really like it…” You could hear the playful note in his voice. “Like I said… stop me if it’s too much.”

You knew what direction this was heading, and you didn’t care because it felt so good. His hands slipped lower and grabbed your ass and started to massage your cheeks before pulling you down hard into his thigh. “I heard somewhere…” His mouth was at your ear now nipping at the shell of it. “That the best thing for period cramps…” He moved his thigh up to meet your center as his hands pulled you down and moved you back and forth. “Is an orgasm.” Your fingers found his shirt and gripped onto it while you started to ride his thigh. “I would be selfish not to help you out.” His lips found your neck and he pressed gentle featherlike kisses there, making you sigh. “Take what you need from me baby.”

He gave your ass a hard squeeze before giving it a slap. “Fuck, your ass is perfect.” He gripped your hair and pulled you back and his lips met yours and you moaned at how delicious it was. This. This is what you needed. You needed someone to make you forget. To make you feel like you weren’t some fragile and broken toy. He was letting you take the lead while he maintained all of the control.

Your hand reached up and cupped his cheek. Your quirk activated and in your touch you could feel his overwhelming desire. You could also feel hesitation. He must be worried about pushing you too far. You pushed your lust back at him through your touch to reassure him you were more than okay this. He growled and deepened your kiss before yanking himself away. “Fuck Y/n! I-I think you’re quirk triggered. You smell… god you smell so fucking good!”

You grit your teeth. You wanted to tell him sorry, but the words wouldn’t leave your lips. His hands came to your hips and pulled you, so you were now grinding on his already hard dick. Your hands stopped his as you shook your head no. Now you were worried you were the one taking advantage of him. You knew your smell could be overwhelming.

He panted as he bucked up, “No, please don’t stop on my account. It’s fucking hot. I promise you y/n… if you ever let me…” One of his hands found it’s way back to your ass while the other snaked into your shorts and started to rub your clit through your underwear. “I’ll show you what it feels like to be fucking worshiped.”

You felt your orgasm quickly building and Dabi could tell. He could see the way your chest heaved and he could feel the way you began to frantically snap your hips. He kissed up your neck while he picked up the speed on your clit. “You want to know why?” He bucked his hips hard up into yours. “Because you’re a good girl. You are MY good girl.”

That was all you needed. You shook and your thighs squeezed around him. He kept going to help you ride it out as long as possible. You felt all your tension bleed out. All of the stress of the past couple days, hell the past couple weeks, didn’t even matter anymore. And all you did was ride his thigh.

When you finally had enough you grabbed his hand and squeezed. Panting you nuzzled back up to him and his hands trailed up and down your spine. “That’s my girl. Good job.” He kissed the top of your head and pulled the blanket back up over you. “Now let’s get some sleep.” We can skip the routine tomorrow. We can just do this instead. One day off won’t kill you.”

You hummed as you melted into him. Your eyes drooped closed and the last thing you remembered was Dabi grabbing your thigh and hitching your leg over his waist.

“The gag won’t be enough. We need to make sure she doesn’t even have the option of talking.” That voice sent chills down your spine. It belonged to the man you only knew as Dr. A3. They never used their names around you. Just an extra precaution in case you were to escape. Dr. A3 was the one who seemed to be in charge of all our your “experiments”. He was psychotic and you hate him with every cell in your body.

You were back on that table. You opened your eyes, but you couldn’t see anything but the blindfold.

“I can handle that, but my quirk will eventually ware off.” That was Cogernot. He was technically a villain who was being held in the same way you were. His quirk allowed him to manipulate with people’s cognition. He could turn off your senses, mess with your memories, and so much more. It was common that they grouped the two of you together in the lab.

“That’s fine how long do you think it’ll last?”

Cogernot sighed, “It’s different with every person but the more often I do it the longer it’ll last. But you have to be careful. If I mess with her too much it could become permanent.”

Dr. A3 laughed, “You say that as if it’s a bad thing. If that girl were able to talk, she could easily escape, or even worse she could make us all kill one another.” He ran a hand through your tangled hair and you winced in pain. “Besides girls like her are meant to be seen and not heard. We have another girl here who can walk through people’s dreams and convince them to do all kinds of stuff. We don’t need y/n’s honeyed words anymore. Do it.”

“If you say so… But don’t come crying to me when I accidentally break your favorite toy.”

You felt a hand press to your forehead, and you felt something snap.

Your eyes slowly opened, and you found that you were still laying on top of Dabi in his living room. You were able to keep your panic at bay by slowly breathing and counting in your head. You matched your breathing to Dabi’s, and you felt his arms tighten around you.

You looked at his sleeping face. He looked so different like this, when he wasn’t yelling at you or teasing you. A flush came over your cheeks when you remembered what happened earlier that morning. You traced your finger over the staples under his eyes.

His hand flew up and grabbed your wrist. “Can I help you?” He didn’t even bother to open his eyes, so you shoved on his shoulder to make him look at you. “I literally just woke up and you’re already begging for attention.” It drove you crazy that he wouldn’t open his eyes to look at you. The asshole knew you couldn’t talk…. Couldn’t talk.

The dream came crashing back to you. You pushed yourself off of him and went in search for your journal.

“Wait y/n… come on. Come back. I’ll open my eyes. Don’t throw a fucking temper tantrum over it Jesus.”

You came back with your journal and sat down on the table that was across from the couch and started to write everything you could remember about your dream. Dabi sat up and tried to smooth his hand up your thigh but you paused your writing long enough to slap it away. ~Not now~

“There’s no way you’re that mad. Come on what are you writing. Is this our first fight? Are fighting right now? That’s cute.”

You scowled as you shoved your journal in his face. The look on his face went from amused to concerned as he started reading.

“Wait that’s where Cogernot has fucking been this whole time? We thought he died.” He looked at you “How many times did he use his quirk on you?”

You shrugged and for once he didn’t yell at you for it.

He ran a hand through his white hair. “So, if this is really just his quirk and not some kind of trauma then it should ware off soon. That idiots quirk usually only lasts for a couple of hours though, sometimes a few days. I’ve never seen it last this long.” He stood up and started to pace. You watched him go back and forth a few times before he threw his hands in the air, “Shit!” He picked up a pillow and it immediately turned to ash.

He looked back to you and saw the alarm in your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m overreacting. It’s just – That fucking idiot may have permanently fucked you up.” You cringed at his words. Was that how he saw you? Fucked up?

He started pacing again, “He told me once there was a way to override his quirk though. You just have to convince your brain that it’s dying. Something about that kicks it into gear and nullifies his quirk.” He looked to the pool and then to you. “We could drown you! I know CPR, it’ll be fine.”

~NO NO NO~ The look in Dabi’s eyes was starting to scare you. He looked like he was ready to do it no matter what you said. As much as you wanted to talk again, you didn’t think it was worth risking your life over. But apparently, he did. Apparently learning sign, and reading your journal was just too much work for him. If he was this desperate to fix it… if he was willing to drown you just so you could talk….

You were ripped from your thoughts when he grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder. You kicked and hit him while tears streamed down your cheeks. There was no way he would go through with this… right?

You heard the sliding glass door open and all the sudden you were only steps away from the pool. You couldn’t see into his eyes, you couldn’t see what was going on in that fucked up head of his. You slid a hand under his shirt right before he got to the pool and did the only thing you could think of. You showed him how scared you were. You made him feel that terror. He paused only for a moment before jumping in the pool.

He let go only for a few seconds just so he could pull your back to his chest and whisper into your hair. “I know you’re going to hate me, but eventually you will think me for this.”

And then he was shoving you under. You clawed at his arms, ripping several of his staples out. You poured all of your terror and your pain into your touch and grabbed his wrists that were holding you under.

This was fucked up, this was so fucked up. You didn’t want to die. Why was he doing this? He didn’t even know if it would work! Your panic wasn’t making it any easier. You were losing oxygen fast and before you knew it you were starting to black out. You were going to die… You were going to drown in the same pool he had held you in so sweetly and helped you rehabilitate in. Your fingers ceased their scratching and your arms fell limp.

He didn’t bring you back up until you had stopped moving completely. He pulled you back up to the surface and immediately laid you down on the hard-concrete outside of the pool. In seconds he was on you preforming CPR. “Come on… You’re strong. You can take a little drowning. Hell, I’ve drowned a few times. Well I’ve been waterboarded… I don’t know if that exactly the same thing.” He nervously babbled to your unconscious body as he continued his chest compressions. “Come on y/n! Fuck!” He pinched your nose and breathed into you. Just a few hours ago his lips had been on yours for an entirely different reason and he desperately wished he could go back to that moment now.

He continued his chest compressions tears pooling in his eyes. “COME ON Y/N!” He did this. This was his fault. His father was right about him. The world was right about him. He’s a monster. He was supposed to be protecting you. You trusted him and he did this to you. He had felt your fear, your pain, and he did it anyway.

The thought of you never getting to talk again had thrown him into a panic. The thought of those fuckers taking apart of who you were away from you made him see red. He acted impulsively and now he’s paying the price.

“WAKE UP! PLEASE!”

You coughed and water came flooding out of your mouth. He cried out in relief and rolled you onto your side and patted your back to help you expel the water from your lungs.

It fucking burned. Your throat was raw from the chlorine and your brain was foggy from the lack of oxygen.

“Y/n… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I-I don’t even know what to say.”

He reached his hand out to touch your face but you caught it. You stared into his eyes with as much hate as a person could have and gripped his hand so hard you could feel your nails cutting into his skin, “Fuck… You…”

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Tags: tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime@klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs @music-is-all-i-need @katsuki-bakubabe @unadulteratedtastemakerpoetry

[sarcasticsaffa]

The Curse of the Green Mamba

South Africa House? More like South Africa Kakhuis.

I have unsuccessfully attempted to renew my South African passport for the last year. Yesterday was another failed mission. I cannot put in words how gatvol I truly am of this struggle. Besides making me jump through hoops like a trick pony, has anyone been to the London embassy lately? Like, can we take a minute to just discuss the absolute shitshow that is South Africa House in Whitehall, London?

As expected, the embassy runs on Africa time. Granted, if people got their forms filled in and sorted like the email instruction says when you receive your appointment confirmation, it would probably go quicker. We opted to arrive early and queued until they opened. So proudly South African, that we continue with the tradition of queueing outside Home Affairs in foreign countries. I want my Noddy badge! When the gates to hell finally opened, the man at the door was already grumpy. Someone had rammed a burning carrot so far up his arse, that we could see the doos vibes coming off of him from the back of the queue. Shame.

Those lucky souls that had appointments at nine o’clock, were admitted into the inferno and the rest of us lesser mortals had to wait another twenty minutes. Now, I had this appointment booked for ten in the morning, but by the time we made it into the dump, they were still busy with the first two appointments. We were in for a long wait… The burning carrot security oom moaned at us to wear face masks in the building, but to him I would like to say this, covering your mouth and not your nose with your handmade mask is like wearing a condom over your balls and not your dick. If you want to enforce a rule, lead by example! Also, everyone in attendance was polite and friendly – I used my nicest Afrikaans reserved only for the dominee – was it really necessary to be a grumpy old doos and treat us like we pissed on your Ouma Beskuit? Like, who lit the fuse on your tampon? Life is not that kak, for realsies. Although you work for Home Affairs, so it probably is that kak. Sorry, né.

 I called the place a dump earlier and oh boy it was. The walls obviously hadn’t seen a lick of paint since 1910 and it was so dirty, I feel like I had walked back into a government building in South Africa itself. The chairs, that looked like they had been sourced from decommissioned tube carriages, were filthy and stained with only God knows what. Sitting on them, all I could think was that I was going to need a Dettol soak and my clothes were getting burned in a dumpster fire. Not sure when the floor last saw a broom, or a mop for that matter. Do you think they burned their cleaner for witchcraft? It’s the only plausible explanation I could come up with.

The building is starting to fall apart!

I think the funniest was the photos of Uncle Cyril and company. The frames were cheap. Wilko “three for the price of two” cheap. Uncle Cyril, have you seen your pic that adorns the shabby walls of South Africa house? It is such a kak kiekie of you. The brown backdrop is the same colour as my dog’s morning ablutions. Wonder who thought that was a good idea? They could have at least taken a better photo of you and used the South African coat of arms and flag as part of the background. Like the Americans do. Naledi! What the was your stylist thinking?! No sweetie darling, that blouse you are wearing is such an unfortunate colour. It makes you look like a cleaning lady with an employee of the month photo on the wall next to Uncle Cyril. You need to fire that stylist…

I had to sneakily take this photo to show you all what I meant. 

All in all, it was a totally shit experience. If I had to rate it, I would give it zero stars – do not recommend. Sadly, I will need to make the pilgrimage back to this den of dysfunction for another attempt at renewing the Green Mamba. Anyone have a hazmat suit I could borrow?

[thetaoofzoe]

Fic: Ethan Hunt Must Die 1/1

Pairing: August Walker x YOU

Word Count: 10,420

Summary: You are a medic and a member of what’s left of  The Apostles. And it’s not rumour anymore. August Walker is definitely not dead. All you want to do is help him with his cause, kill those responsible for his grave injuries (and foiling his manifesto) and make Ethan Hunt pay. Falling in love with August Walker is just a given ;)

Rating: Mature to Explicit some Violence, sex and fluff and yearning and impetuous kisses, explosions and delicious August Walker.  And, this story is not as serious as it may appear, so have fun reading.

Note: If you have been around you’ve seen the original iteration of this story, but maybe not in its entirety. It was originally broken up into 10 parts as A Month of August Walker Challenge. Now, in all of its revamped glory is the complete story all in one place.  

Want to read more? Click for my Masterlist

Your contact was a pleasant woman. She’d collected you from the tiny airport in Kashmir and on the way to your destination, she’d offered to buy snack food for you from a nearby shop.

‘The cabin is fully stocked,’ she reasoned pointing to the squat building by the side of the road, ‘but in case you want a Coke or something.’

You did want a Coke in fact and you took her up on the offer. Along with a few cans of cola you grabbed other items – chocolate bars, fishing tackle, and feminine hygiene products. You didn’t know how long you were going to be out there in the middle of nowhere, and you didn’t want to use up the precious bog roll when your cycle eventually came.

The woman was leaning against the side of the battered truck and smoking a cigarette when you stepped out of the shop. Eyeing your purchases, she nodded with approval.

‘Good idea,’ she said, making a vague gesture towards you with her cigarette. ‘We didn’t think about a woman’s needs during such a long excursion. Next time. There are all sorts of painkillers in the stocks though… just so you are aware.’

She put a gloved hand on her lower belly and laughed a little.

‘I know how it can get.’

You smiled, grateful to be sharing this moment with her, woman to woman, and thanked her before getting back into the truck.

‘Is there gonna be a next time?’ you asked, sweeping the seatbelt across your chest and clicking it into place.

She didn’t look at you as she started the truck and set off down the road.

‘I hope this is the last, ‘ she said finally and as it seemed like such a struggle for her to come up with an answer that she seemed satisfied with, you didn’t continue to press the matter.

Settling into the seat, you unwrapped a chocolate bar, and with three large bites, had it stuffed into your mouth. The salty chocolate and nougat were glorious and you moulded the sweet wad into the roof of your mouth so that you could savour it with slow licks.  You folded the plastic-coated wrapper into a small square and tucked it in your jacket pocket.

The woman drove along the rough frosty mountain roads as if you two were being chased. She didn’t seem at all phased with how the truck bounced and jumped dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, as if one wrong turn of the wheel wouldn’t send the two of you plunging down into the river below.

That imagery triggered sudden rage in you.

Goddamn you, Ethan Hunt, you thought.

You wanted just two minutes alone with Hunt to make him regret having ever laid eyes on August Walker. Hunt deserved nothing but a long slow torturous death.

Ever since the incident, The Apostles had been split on what to do regarding  August Walker. Should he be left out there and forgotten? Or should his remains be recovered and given a proper burial?

The thought that there was nothing left to recover prevailed until reports that August had survived the fall started trickling in. With this new knowledge, it was impossible to prevent the uprising that voted to scour the mountains to find him. This time, your only mission was to man the cabin in the event one of the search teams found him.

‘Not far to the cabin. Ayami is apart of the search team. You know her, yes?’ asked the woman.

‘Yes. I know her.’

‘Good, Ayami planned all of this, coordinated us, and was able to pinpoint a location not far from this cabin.’

Not enough planning for a menstrual cycle, you thought, petulantly.

‘It will work out,’ she continued and nodded. ‘He will be found.’

‘This is the third time someone has,’ you made inverted commas in the air with your fingers, ‘pinpointed his location, only to run into IMF lies. We are wasting precious time. August is alive and we need to find him.’

The woman drove on in silence for a moment.

‘I agree with you, yes. I agree. But what do you suggest that we do? If not this.’

You relented and sighed. You had no idea what to do other than this.

‘If I could snap my fingers…’

You clicked your fingers and she chuckled, clicking hers as well.

‘He would be safe with us,’ she finished for you.

A half hour later, she slowed and finally stopped the truck and pointed through the windscreen at what looked like a stack of fallen trees.

‘Unfortunately, my friend,’ she said. ‘There is a way to drive up to the cabin. However, it is many, many kilometres that way and petrol for me is hard to come by right. It’s easier to drop you here and you take the trail. It’s only a few hours hike.’

You grabbed your rucksack from the foot well, reached over and one-arm hugged the woman and then got out. She did a wide circle turn around and pulled the truck up to where you stood.

‘Good luck, my friend. And take care.’

‘Take care,’ you said. ‘See you soon.’

She gave you a two-fingered salute and drove away.

**

It was cold that far up in the mountains and the beginning of the trail looked desolate. Securing your rucksack on your back, you began your long trek, and the cabin was a welcome sight after hours of navigating the rocky hard terrain.  Inside was small and utilitarian, but it was more than enough for you. You didn’t bother to take off your boots before falling onto the cot and into a deep exhausted sleep.

In the morning, you took stock of your surroundings. The cabin was pretty well-appointed with a wood stove, a table with two chairs, an amazingly comfortable cot and stacks and stacks of supplies. The gold-painted metal ammo closet in the back was comforting to see and you were going to familarise yourself with its contents later. But first, breakfast.

You got up to make coffee and noticed a medium-sized cardboard box sitting on the small dining table by the stove. There was a note.

‘Your name was given to me at the last moment. Here are some things you may need.’

And it was signed, ‘Ayami’.

You slit open the box with your pocket knife and laughed when you saw the contents. Ayami had packaged not only tampons and pads but several different styles of menstrual cups for you and you felt guilty for earlier, being such a brat about the supplies you needed.

‘You planned everything, Ayami,’ you said aloud to the empty room. ‘Thank you.’

You lit the fire in the stove and put a pot on to boil some water. A noise outside pricked your ears. It sounded like the heavy motor of an ATV and out of the noise you picked out the sounds of other engines drawing closer.

Shit! you thought, rushing to the ammo closet at the back of the cabin.

Flinging open the doors, you dragged out a single barrel shotgun, loaded it, and scrambled back to the front cabin door. Peering out through the narrow window you watched as several four-wheelers and one battered Land Rover raced towards the cabin. In a cloud of kicked up dirt and dust, the Rover drove straight up to the door and to your absolute surprise, the passenger door popped open and Ayami jumped out.

You opened the cabin door and came out.

‘Good!’ she shouted over the noise of the engines. ‘You’re here. Get the first aid boxes ready, now!’

You were a medic and understood the urgency in her tone. You ran back to the cabin and were piling bandages, antiseptics, and other items on the table when three men carried in a limp body between them. Ayami strode across the room and captured you in a hug.

‘I am happy to see you,’ she gasped breathlessly and grabbed your hands. ‘We found him!’

With heart crashing against your ribs, you looked to the man being stretched on the cot as Ayami continued.

Oh God… they found him.

‘Somehow some wanderers discovered him months ago and took him in.’

She trailed off and shook her head. She still seemed to be in shock.

‘Doesn’t matter,’ you told her and squeezed her hands. ‘We’re looking after him now. Radio in for helicopter transport. It may take a few days to get someone out here.’

You cleaned your hands and went to assess the situation. August was alive and badly burned, but gladly not beyond your repair. Ayami came back into the cabin after making the call and joined you at the bed.

‘You planned all of this, Ayami,’ you said. ‘You made this happen. What’re our next step?’

Ayami put her hand on your shoulder and smiled viciously.

‘To make Ethan Hunt pay.’

**

You were wrong.

It didn’t take a few days for the helicopter to arrive. It took two weeks. Although the cabin was well stocked and had nearly everything you needed to tend to August’s wounds, it wasn’t enough.

Ayami wanted to leave and take August the long way through the mountains. They had the power to transport him over land and it was fucking stupid to leave him at the cabin to succumb to something that could be fixed. His body was fighting a raging infection and frankly, he was losing. You explained to her your reasons for why it would be tough on August to try to drive with him through such hard terrain.  He was in a fragile state and jostling him all around in an unstable car could exacerbate any internal injuries. A chopper ride would be better.

Ayami understood that, however…

‘We’ve got plenty of antibiotics,’ she said reasonably. ‘Why can’t we give him some?’

‘Because we don’t know what he has. He could have a bacterial or viral infection and just picking something to give him might do more harm than good. I don’t want to take that risk.’

It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to pump him full of all of the pills you had, just to scattershot the infection, but incorrectly dosing him, in his weakened state,   might kill him. August Walker was alive and you were going to keep him that way.

So you did your best. With Ayami’s help, you kept him clean and dry and in order to manage his temperature, iced. August, however, foiled your attempts to tend to him effectively. He was delirious and unaware of  what was happening to him. More than once you had to extract yourself from his vice-like grip as he held onto you and growled guttural threats of violence to your person. All you could do was try to soothe him and mop his brow and use the aspirin to dull his obvious pain.

**

During the wait for air transport, you stayed up some nights with August. Sometimes you just sat at his bedside and read by the light of your headlamp. Sometimes you just watched him, held his hand and stroked his hair when nightmares haunted his sleep.

He would heal pretty well, you observed, and, without too much lasting damage to his face. He was fortunate that the hot oil missed his eye, although it ruined his ear. But you knew that too could be reconstructed.

‘We’re gonna get you back on your feet, August,’ you murmured on those nights when he was at his most fitful. ‘And we’re gonna get those people who did this to you.’

Even though you weren’t sure he could even hear you speaking, you continued to encourage and comfort him.  It was the least you could do.

**

‘You met John Lark before?’ Ayami asked over breakfast one morning, using August’s real name for the first time.

‘When he was going by John Lark?’ you asked for clarification and she nodded. ‘No. Not then. He had already assumed the new identity and was in the CIA when I turned up.’

‘He was not always like this,’ she said a bit cryptically.

‘How was he?’

Interest sparked in you.

She shook her head.

‘Just different. Maybe he’ll tell you someday.’

Ayami smiled at you and you turned, alerted by the soft groan coming from the bed.

‘Oh God, he’s waking up again,’ she chuckled and then asked you, ‘Top or bottom.’

You laughed inspite of yourself and gave the choice a moment’s thought. ‘Top’ meant that you got to administer medication, clean up his face and check his bandages, while ‘bottom’ meant that you would have to wrestle with his strong flailing arms and risk getting punched in the face. Ayami looked at you expectantly and you grimaced.

‘I had top last time, so…’

She smiled and got up, patting your arm in passing. ‘Then you get top this time.’

‘Ayami, c’mon,’ you protested rising from the chair. ‘I don’t want to be unfair.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ she said lifting her arms and flexing her biceps. ‘But, I need my workout.’

**

Ayami needed to stay in Kashmir to tie up some loose ends. So, you said your farewells and parted company when the chopper transport finally arrived.

You, on the other hand, were headed to New Delhi where another contact would meet and relieve you of your August-sitting duties.

Exhausted and battered, it was just after midnight when you finally arrived at the airport.  Out through the cloudy bubble heli-window, you saw the second contact rush to the settling helicopter. You unlatched an dragged open the side door.

‘Hello!’ he shouted over the roar of the blades overhead. ‘It’s Janus. You can come with me!’

‘Where am I going?’ you shouted back, not moving from where you were sitting next to August’s prone body.

He was still blissfully unconscious and sleeping quietly.

‘There is a safehouse here. You can rest. We will transport Walker to the small plane over there and continue on to London.’

You shook your head and were able to speak normally when the blades finally shuddered to a stop.

‘I’ll go on,’ you told Janus. ‘I’ll go on, it’s ok. I’ll stay with him.’

Janus looked puzzled.

‘No, you are to go to the safe house. I am to continue on.’

You had come this far. You weren’t going to leave August, so you again declined the offer of a trade.

‘Now. Come on. I’m not going to quibble with you,’ you said, kicking open the other door so that the two men accompanying Janus could wrangle the stretcher out of the chopper.

You watched them carry August off and jumping out of the heli, you turned to Janus.

‘Be well, my friend. But I’ve got it.’

Janus shrugged a little and nodded, seeing that you weren’t going to be swayed.

‘Is it really him?’ he asked and you could hear relief seeping into his voice.

You put your arms around him in a farewell hug.

‘It is,’ you said. ‘You have Ayami to thank for that. Make sure that you do.’

You ran after the two men carrying the stretcher. The men secured the stretcher inside and turned to help you into the back of the plane. You pulled closed the small plane’s door and made sure that August was securely strapped in. It was going to be another long ride to the final safe house.

**

It was raining in London, and as the small plane approached, the cool precipitation rinsed away grey foggy clouds to reveal the golden city. Through your headset, you listened to the pilot talk to air traffic control and learned that you were headed to Blackbushe Airport.

‘How far is the safe house from the airport?’ you asked the pilot.

‘Not far. Maybe 20 kilometers. Not far.’  

You were so ready to put your feet on land that you closed your eyes and envisioned a soft bed, a hot meal, and an even hotter bath. Glancing down at the still sleeping man on the stretcher at your feet, you felt a rise of tender feelings in your heart. Not only had your team recovered August Walker, alive, but you had a personal hand in his convalescence.  Reaching down, you touched his face. He felt hot, but not as feverish as before and you were relieved. Elevated fevers for sustained periods of time were dangerous and although he wasn’t out of the woods yet, he was better. You brushed a curl of brown hair off of his forehead and smoothed the edge of your thumb across his eyebrow. Yes, he was going to heal well and regain his strength to be able to fight another day.

Blackbushe Airport was small but efficient and there was a black, solid paneled van waiting for you. You helped the men with the stretcher and once August had been secured, you pulled yourself into the offered front passenger seat.  The driver nodded to acknowledge your presence and you put on your seatbelt as the van drove off.

Someone tapping on the window jarred you from the nap you didn’t realise you had fallen into. With a wet grunt, you sat up, reflexively swiped the back of your hand across your mouth, and dried the drool which had pooled in the corner. Hand still to your mouth, you shifted to look through the window. It was the driver and he made a gesture for you to get out.

You nodded to show that you understood and he moved off. Behind you in the cargo part of the van, you could hear men talking and then sounds of strain when they lifted the stretcher. Even unconscious, August wasn’t for the weak or fainthearted. You chuckled at your own analogy, unclipped the seatbelt and opened the door. Your legs wobbled when your feet hit the ground and you pressed back against the closed door until you felt that you could walk without collapsing. It took a while for your legs to finally firm and when they did you followed the men into the medium sized country manor house.

Inside smelt of cedar and pine. Your footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor as you walked into the charming front room and looked up at all of the old portraits and paintings and decorative weapons. Twin staircases, one on each side of the front room,  dog-legged up to the next level.  You approached a tall round table with a large vase of fresh flowers and walked around it. You peeked into dark rooms and soon found yourself in an equally as charming country kitchen. There was a man in there wearing a black jumper and blue jeans, drinking from a white mug.

‘Ah!’ he said when he saw you. ‘Come in, come in. Coffee?’

Aware that you looked particularly filthy and bedraggled, compared to his crispness, you cleaned your hands on your cargo trousers and stepped into the room.

‘Yes, please.’

The man obliged, saying, ‘It’s only instant, I’m afraid.’

Instant was fine and you didn’t protest when he handed you a cup.

‘And it’s terrible,’ he added with a laugh. ‘I’ve only just arrived and haven’t had a chance to flush out all of the pipes. Everything happened so fast.’

You nodded and drank the metallic tasting coffee without complaint.

‘Ayami, then. Right?’

You knew what he was asking. Ayami was the conductor of this orchestra and she deserved all of the credit.

‘Yes.’

‘Fuck… she’s a legend.’

Finishing the cup without much tasting it, you handed it back to him.

‘I’d like to clean up and make sure that he’s… that August is ok for the night.’

He took the cup and was nodding as he put both yours and his into the sink.

‘Sure, sure. I can do that. There is a room ready for the both of you. Come on, I’ll show you.’

You followed him up the stairs and down a quiet, thickly carpeted hallway which was also lined with gaily painted portraits. Upon reaching the room at the end, he stepped aside to let you go in first.

There was a trio of men in there, that you recognised as the medical team and the room had been set up like a well-stocked hospital room. The lemon yellow wallpaper with its sunflower print was a pleasant contrast to the medical equipment and other paraphernalia. The men greeted you and they all shared a happy look. You knew why and yes, you shared it too. You said nothing as you watched them undress and bathe August, glad that he could finally receive more focused treatment.

‘And my room?’ you asked.

August didn’t need you now and you had to look after yourself. Mr instant coffee led you back down the hall and showed you your bedroom and amenities. When he left you, you threw your rucksack on the floor by the bed, stripped out of your filthy clothes, and immediately ran a bath. When you finally emerged, refreshed, and clean down to your toes, you found a sandwich and cola waiting on the table next to the bed. You devoured it in a few bites but drank the cola slowly as you unpacked your rucksack. All the way at the bottom,  and rolled around a pair of thick socks was a clean shirt and sweatpants which you quickly pulled on. You sat on the edge of the bed and finished the cola.

Flopping onto your side and closing your eyes, you intended to rest for only a moment. However, sleep had other ideas.

**

Sunlight streamed in through the windows behind you and you woke suddenly then rolled over. On the wall at the head of the bed, a pleasant-looking woman smiled down at you from a pastoral painting and you were groggy enough to smile back. Rubbing your face you sat up, yawned, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed, staying there a moment to contemplate the night before. You hadn’t slept that well in a very long time and you were grateful to have finally got some rest. That old bed was a godsend.

After washing and dressing in clean clothes, you stood in the corridor outside your room door and looked down the hallway to where August slept.  His door was closed. The scent of coffee wafting up the stairs alerted you that someone else was awake and you wondered if it was Mr Instant coffee down there still flushing out the pipes and drinking metallic tasting coffee. You decided to leave him to it and you walked to August’s room.

You tapped on the door but there was no answer, so you turned the doorknob and let yourself in.  August was still asleep. The IV drip bag was half empty and the bandages on his face were bright and clean. He looked much better in the warm morning light and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. You smoothed down the patch of  IV tape on the back of his hand and August startled a yelp out of you when he moved.

His eyes were open and you found yourself under the clear scrutiny of the infamous August Walker. Before your inglorious meeting at the cabin, you had never been this close to him. The two of you never spoke nor had you even been in the same room.

His eyes moved all over your face as if hunting for something and you stood still letting him complete his inspection. When recognition finally bloomed in his eyes, he relaxed.

You ventured to put your hand over his.

‘Do you remember me?’ you asked.

‘I remember,’ he answered, voice raspy from disuse.

August fell silent and it seemed to take effort for him to speak.

‘I… remember you read to me.’

Your heart skipped with elation.

‘Yes.’

Breathing out a breath, August closed his eyes.

‘Thank you.’

‘We’ll make him pay, August,’ you said when he was quiet. ‘All of them.’

It didn’t matter that he had succumbed to sleep again and probably didn’t hear you. Ethan Hunt was going to pay.

**

It was fortunate Mr. Instant Coffee, as you dubbed him, was around to cook and clean because you weren’t about to look after Walker and do the domestic duties as well.

As the weeks drifted by and August grew stronger, you turned your interest away from him and to revenge.

Retribution, you liked to say to yourself. It was a much better word and to pull it off, you needed a team.

Ayami, of course, was on board. She was always up for some violence and you loved her for it. She knew exactly who you needed and how to contact them. And, if you were going to go through with it, all the way, you needed a solid plan. Every piece had to be in place for the whole machine to move forward. No stone could remain unturned.

You spent a lot of time in that country kitchen with plans and schematics and blueprints spread out in front of you on the table. The first order of business was to find the persons responsible; Benji, Ilsa, Luther and Hunt.

Find them, and observe.

‘That’s it,’ you’d told Ayami. ‘Find them and observe. Record their patterns, their travel, their habits, their pubs, markets, clothing stores, everything.’

You made sure to have rotating team members on each target so that said target would not recognise any reoccurring faces and become suspicious. IMF was a clever, skittish bunch and the way to lure them into the trap was to be patient and deliberate.

Early one morning, about three months into your stay at the safe house, a heavy thumping down the stairs distracted you from your research.

You got up, refilled your coffee and then poured a second fresh cup. Returning to the table you put the second cup in the space across from where you had been sitting. For two weeks now, August had been testing his newly found strength and had insisted on getting up and moving around own his own. He’d recently been cut out of his arm cast and was able to navigate his way on crutches. And on mornings after breakfast when he could get himself out of bed, he usually banged down the stairs and hobbled into the kitchen.

After a few days of this, you started preparing a cup of coffee for him. Whether he was looking for coffee or not, you always put out a second cup when you heard him coming down. And August was actually polite and thankful for the gesture. It surprised you. You expected him to be this gruff and grumpy take charge team leader who didn’t have time for underlings. When, in fact, August Walker was a very pleasant man.

‘Morning,’ you heard him say from the kitchen’s doorway.

‘Morning,’ you replied, nodding to the coffee cup.

He took up his regular place across from you, and leaned the crutches against the bench seat.

You looked at him finally. The bandages were all off of his face now (except for the one remaining to protect his damaged ear) and the swelling had gone down.

What was at first considered full-thickness burns were actually only partial-thickness and he could heal without skin grafts.

He looked, you decided, pretty normal. Handsome, in fact and you wanted to reach out to touch him.

He saw you examining him and he made an aborted attempt to touch his face.

‘No, it ahh… it’s good. You look much better. Really,’ you said quickly.

He picked up the coffee and drank slowly.

‘Does it still hurt?’

‘No,’ he said into the cup and changed the subject. ‘What have we got?’

Right back to business, you thought. Of course. None of this ‘feelings’ stuff for him.

‘The only one we got consistent eyes on is Luther. I guess they’re not using him these days, so he’s staying put. He’s in the States and looks to have a vacation home in Florida. If he has a third place, we don’t know about it yet.’

August listened and nodded and you swore you could see a little smile starting to play across his mouth. Not wanting it to disappear, you showed him photos of Ilsa.

‘I think, she thinks she’s clever. At first she was darting around, doing the whole ‘spy’ thing. It was cute. Now, not so much. I’d like to take her… if you agree.’

August looked up at you and that little smile was still there. In fact he looked particularly pleased with you.

‘Don’t worry. Hunt’s for last. We’re saving him for you.’

August held your gaze and you felt a thrill race through you.

‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘I want you to do whatever you want to do. I trust you.’

You brightened considerably and resisted the urge to clap your hands with delight. Having August Walker’s trust had made the day golden.

**

A few days later, the thumping down the stairs distracted you from your work. Smiling a little, you got up and poured a fresh cup of coffee and sat it on the table across from you. Then as an afterthought, you got up again and plated a few chocolate Hobnobs that Mr. Instant Coffee had bought with the weekly grocery. You had barely put the plate down before August appeared in the kitchen doorway.

Seeing the mid-morning snacks waiting for him, he smiled a little and now down to one crutch from two, he hobbled into the kitchen and sat down in his usual spot across from you.

‘Look at you, speedster,’ you teased.

August’s brows rose with pleasure, but he smothered his growing smile by lifting his cup and drinking the coffee.

‘I prefer your coffee to the other one,’ said August, raising his eyes to meet yours.

You hesitated to meet his gaze, and when you did, the praise in his face melted you.

August quickly looked away and down at the plans on the table between the two of you.

‘So, tell me.’

He gestured with the cup to the papers.

You grinned, feeling pleased with your progress.

‘Ilsa. I finally got a bead on her. And I will be travelling to her location today.’

‘Today?’ he asked, sounding surprised and your brows drew together a little.

‘Too soon? I mean.. do you want to come?’

August shook his head and suddenly looked concerned.

‘I don’t want you rushing into something.’

Ah, was that it?

You reached out to tap the back of his hand with your index finger.

‘Whilst I thoroughly enjoy your concern, there’s no need for it. Do you umm, want a trophy? An eyeball? A finger?’

August was clearly surprised, and your offer startled a laugh out of him.

‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘No, I don’t want any of that. But ah… I appreciate your vigour.’

You smiled at him.

‘You sure?’

He laughed a little, again, and asked, ‘And your flight?’

‘Coupla hours,’ you replied checking your wristwatch.

‘And your plan?’

‘Delicious,’ you promised.

And it was.

**

Los Angeles was hot and sweltering and you were not prepared for the weather. But you didn’t let that deter you, for you had a mission to accomplish.

You found the target sitting at a table beneath a colourful umbrella at a crowded outdoor cafe.

Carrying several bags emblazoned with names of high-end shops you stopped by her table, made a show of looking into the cafe and then down at the chair across from her.

She looked up at you and you tried a smile.

‘Hi, I am sooo sorry, but do you mind if I just sit here. I am dying in this heat!’

As you were actually dying in the western heat, you knew that you came across sincerely. She took a moment to consider you. Judging you harmless, she nodded to the chair and you collapsed onto it gratefully.

‘Oh, thank you, honey. That’s so good of you. I thought I was going to get all of my shopping over and done with before noon, but you know how it is. Just one more shop, one more try on…. maybe they got those shoes in the back in your size, right? Am I right?

You giggled easily and she nodded, then glanced into the cafe.

‘I gotta wear these gloves to that my hands don’t tan,’ you said watching her. ‘There’s nothing worse than having your arms one colour and your hands 5 shades darker.’

Ignoring you, she raised her hand hoping to alert the waiter standing inside.

He eased up to the table.

‘Yes ma’am.’

‘I ordered my…’

‘Yes, I know ma’am. We are working on it right now, please give us some time. The broiler is currently holding on by a thread. May I offer you a cold drink? On the house?’

You looked at her and she sighed.

‘Sure, go on. You want one?’

Her attention was on you.

You shrugged.

‘Sure! I’ll have what she’s having.’

The two of you chatted amiably for a little while and the waiter returned with your drinks. You immediately sipped at the fizzy fruit drink and put your glass down next to hers.

Several minutes later someone inside shouted, ‘Janie Fellows?’

The woman across from you stirred and then stood up.

‘Finally,’ she said and went inside to pick up her order.

You watched her go and quickly, unobtrusively, dumped the contents of your travel perfume bottle into her glass.

Ilsa returned with a plate brimming with meat and salad and set it on her placemat.

‘Looks good,’ you said admiring the dish. ‘I might get one, but I do need to get on, I think.’

‘You can stay as long as you like,’ she assured you and began her meal.

You sat and chatted whilst she ate and finished her drink.

You were in the middle of a long drawn out story about your imaginary husband when she stopped devouring the rare steak.

Ilsa dropped her fork and you turned towards her.

‘Something wrong?’ you asked, faux concern in your voice as you let your natural accent slip. ‘You’ve gone quite pale… Janie.’

Ilsa’s wide eyes shot up to your face and she spat out her chewed mouthful.

‘I probably overdosed you,’ you said quietly. ‘I mean, you were ten pounds heavier the last time I checked. But you and your hot yoga classes have done wonders. I might take it up myself.’

Eyes bulging as the poison squeezed closed her throat, Ilsa gurgled and staggered upright. The chair screeched on the concrete, fell away and you got up.

‘August Walker says, hello,’ you snarled at her. Then changing your attitude to something more helpless you shouted, ‘Oh My God! I think she’s having a seizure, help, help!’

A crowd began to form allowing you to slip away, but not before giving the thumbs up to Mr. Instant Coffee who had posed as your waiter who had perfectly distracted the mark enough for you to poison her drink.

**

‘Went well, I take it?’ August asked when you bustled into the kitchen the next morning.

There was coffee waiting for you at your usual spot.

You threw your arms round his neck and gave him a hearty kiss in greeting.

‘Better than you could ever imagine!’ you crowed and left him in stunned silence.

**

Distracted by the noise coming from the upper floor, you looked up from the laptop. The thumping down the stairs had been sounding a little less clumsy lately, now that August had finally regained control over his healing limbs. You were glad for it, because it meant that the infamous August Walker was out of the woods and on the mend.

You got up, poured a fresh cup of coffee, and was just setting it down when August came into the kitchen.

‘Morning!’ you called brightly, like the little homemaker you fancied yourself to be.

Well, you fancied yourself to be the kind of homemaker who didn’t keep house, but made coffee and assassination plans. You turned the cup so that the handle faced August when he straddled the bench and sat down across from you.

‘Thank you,’ he said picking up the cup and drinking deeply.

Smiling fondly, you considered him a moment and looked at the fresh bandage on his ear.

‘It’s ear day soon, isn’t it?’

Ear day, as you called it, was literally when August got his new outer ear to replace the one that had been damaged.  Contacts in one of the world’s leading biotech labs had been cultivating new skin and cartilage from his own cells and were ready for transplantation.  August had been putting off the surgery, ever since the fire of killing off the IMF team had been lit. He wanted a clear conscience before proceeding with any additional cosmetic surgery.

August lifted his gaze, but not directly to you. He looked at a spot on the table which was still littered with papers and blueprints and your laptops and a muscle bunched in his jaw, alerting you that he was uncomfortable with this line of discussion. You were never one to back down from a subject you wanted to pursue, so you pressed him gently.

‘I think… well, I think it’s gonna be fine. The surgery will be fine. You’ll have a brand spanking new appendage and everything’s gonna be fine.’

You watched his eyes sweep the length of the table, in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at you.

‘You suffered no hearing loss, on that side, the skin is mending itself nicely and the doctors even said that there was no follicle damage. Those curls will be coming back in no time.’

He scoffed.

‘I don’t care about that.’

‘Yes you do,’ you said with a tiny grin. ‘Yes you do, you care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t look like this.’

You waved an appraising hand in his direction.

‘August Walker, meet August Walker. He cares about his looks.’

‘I’m not vain,’ August scowled, putting the cup down and finally looking you in the face

You softened your teasing just a little.

‘I didn’t say you were vain. There’s nothing wrong with a man who looks after his appearance. It’s… sexy.’

That stopped him and a spark of pleasure brightened his face.

You continued to lay it on thick.

‘Come now, a good looking guy like you? And you don’t know it? I find that hard to believe.’

He snorted quietly.

‘Do you ever think something that you don’t say?’ he asked, lifting a dark brow.

You leaned in on your elbows.

‘There are loads of things that I think, that I don’t say. That doesn’t mean that I won’t say them eventually.’

August’s lips lengthened into an inquisitive smile.

‘Like?’

‘Like?’ you repeated and decided to come clean. ‘I just said that you were sexy.’

You made an airy, dismissive gesture.

‘That’s not a new thought.’

You felt a chill manifest as a soft, insistent tingling that skittered all along your skin. Everything you’d hidden about your feelings for him was almost all the way out and you couldn’t stop yourself.

‘It’s not new that I’d do anything for the manifesto to be realised,’ you continued.

When August put down the cup, you reached out and clasped both hands over his.

‘That I’d do anything for you, August.’

The passion in your own voice stunned you. Surely, you had once again overstepped his boundaries.

First, it was kissing him without asking,  and now this, though August didn’t seem bothered by your audacity. He turned his hands up to enclose yours.

‘And I reward loyalty,’ he answered, voice low and full of promise.  

You drew in a long breath through loosely pursed lips, which August seemed to appreciate for his eyes lowered to your wet mouth. His own lips parted in response and you wondered if you climbed across that table and onto his lap, would it have been considered outlandish.

You didn’t think about any of that, as you stood up onto the wooden bench. With his handsome face brimming with delight, August held onto your hands and steadied you as you scrabbled across the table and landed astride his muscular thighs with a satisfied ‘ooof!’

He grimaced from the sudden pressure slamming down on his still tender leg and you were immediately contrite.

‘I’m sorry,’ you murmured, sliding your arms around his neck and curling your fingers into his shaggy curls. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll not play so rough next time.’

‘I like it rough,’ said August, running his hands over your hips to grip you close.

And then you kissed him, softly, fully, feeling his lips come apart beneath yours. Breathing him in, your thoughts ran wild.

I could get used to this. I could indulge in this all day. I could–

Then, ever a man of ill timing, Mr. Instant Coffee bustled into the kitchen, and it took him a moment to realise what he was interrupting.

‘Oh, shite, ok… uhh so that’s happening. Ok, great, but ah, you two… we need to get a move on. The car leaves in ten.’

And then he was gone, leaving you staring at the recently vacated kitchen doorway with your arms dangling over August’s shoulders. Reluctantly, you backed off of August’s lap and smiling, you cupped his cheek, pressed your thumb against the dimple in his chin and walked off to grab your travel bag.

It was back to the States again, the keys of Florida where Luther Stickell was vacationing on a secluded houseboat.

**

Stickell was not hard to find. His boat was moored in one of the farthest berths and was lit up like Christmas. He was having a party.

So much for keeping a low profile, you thought as you stepped off of the elegant cabin cruiser that had been rented for your mission. Your craft was berthed far enough away from his that no one in Stickell’s party could see August in his scuba gear, stepping off the low deck and into the dark water.

Standing on a nearby wooden piling, a pair of seagulls watched you suspiciously, the way birds do, and you lifted a finger to your lips, shushing them.

Holding a pair of strappy heels in your hand, you walked down the slatted dock between yachts and other smaller boats.  You purposefully wore a skimpy sequined dress, in the hopes of talking your way into the party. There were casually dressed men standing on the dock and smoking and they stopped talking as you approached. They didn’t look like bodyguards, but just like regular blokes. Easy to manipulate.

‘Hullo!’ you called happily, flapping your hand at them in greeting, affecting tipsiness. ‘I couldn’t help coming over. I just came from another get-together, but I’m not done partying yet. Ya’ll mind if I… ’

You made a walking motion with your index and middle fingers towards the boat. One of the men smiled and swaggered towards you. He held out a hand which you took and he led you to the edge of the boat, then helped you down the stairs.

Too easy.

There were people milling about on the port deck and some people playing cards inside, but not a lot was going on. It appeared to be at the tail end of the party, where people were trying to drink the last of the booze and eat the last of the food before they were forced to go home. You spotted Luther at the card table. He was laughing around a huge cigar clamped between his front teeth and then he threw the cards down on the table with a triumphant cry. The men sitting there erupted in jeers and hoots as he raked in the pile of money from the centre of the table.

Scanning the area you then went down the stairs to the toilet and stood in the dark narrow corridor thinking about August swimming around beneath your feet as he planted bomb charges against the boat’s hull.

The thought of him down there was strangely arousing.

August was stronger now, strong enough to cause mayhem with his own hands, and it was all you wanted for him. You crouched by the toilet and dug about in your handbag, pulling out one of Ayami’s personal creations – something she’d called her ‘cherry bang bang’. You drew out a black device that was flat on the bottom and round on the top. It looked harmless enough, almost like a little cake, but you knew the massive power packed into that sweetly named bomb. She had given you and August a personal demonstration of the destructive power of her little sweets. You placed a kiss on its glossy surface and adhered it to the underside of the toilet bowl.

‘You are a gem, Ayami,’ you chuckled and pushed upright.

You made your way back to the upper level and moving about unnoticed you planted more cherry bang bangs, even adhering one to each of the fishing chairs bolted to the port side deck.  

A chill settled over the harbour. The guests soon drifted inside and eventually left the party altogether.

You walked back to the rented cabin cruiser to find August waiting for you. His hair was curly and damp and there were pressure marks from the dive mask across his brow. You went up on tiptoes to kiss him. August caught you about the waist and wrapped you up in his arms, lifting you to deepen the kiss. Trapped like that against his big, hot body,  your heart throbbed excitedly. If he could elicit such wonders from your body with just a kiss and an embrace, you couldn’t imagine what other magic he could work.

‘Ready?’ he asked, bending to put you back on your feet.

You nodded and tossing your shoes aside, went to sprawl on one of the long creme coloured couches. August started the engine and guided the cruiser out of the berth. When you were a safe distance away, he reached for your hand and helped you up to the top deck.

You could see the lights of Stickell’s boat twinkling in the distance.  And after about twenty more minutes, once everyone was finally gone, Luther shut off the boat lights.  You and August got up from your deck chairs. You held up the binoculars and adjusted them until the houseboat came into sharp focus. All you could see now was the red glow of Luther’s cigar as the man sat out in one of the fishing chairs and enjoyed the rest of his evening.

August put one arm about your waist, big hand splaying across your stomach, and held up the detonator with the other.

‘Two down,’ you said and he depressed the button.

The explosion was brilliant.

Through the binoculars, you watched the boat burn and sink, but August was more interested in kissing the back of your neck and exposed shoulders to pay attention.

‘Mmmm,’ you purred slyly, leaning your head back against his shoulder. ‘Did you like that? Was it good for you?’

‘So good,’ he answered giving you one last kiss before releasing you.

You opened your mouth to say something but the distant sounds of sirens broke the silence.

Time to go, you thought and the both of you disappeared into the night.

**

You didn’t want to go back to the safehouse right away. As nice as the country house was, being cooped up between those four floral walls drove you crazy. August paid for a few nights at the Shangri-la hotel in London so that you could shower in temperatures above lukewarm, and sleep in a broad bed beneath washing detergent scented sheets.

And when August made love to you on those soft sheets,  your earlier conjecture regarding his sexual prowess, did not prepare you for the bliss you experienced with him buried deep inside you.

It was nearly nine in the morning, a few days after your expedition to the Keys, and propped up with a pillow under your armpit, you lay on your side across the hotel bed, a bowl of spag bol, and your open laptop on the white duvet in front of you. You were half under the thick covers and half out of it because the room was warm, but not uncomfortably so. August emerged from the adjoining bathroom, wearing one of the luxurious bathrobes and towelling dry his hair.

He tossed the towel across the footrest by the chair and stretched out on the bed behind you, looking over your shoulder to read the Miami Herald’s bold headline. He slid his hand beneath your tee-shirt and caressed the skin between your shoulder blades. How he figured out that you liked that, still remained a quandary, but you were glad that you didn’t have to ask for it.

‘Oh, dear,’ you said feigning distress. ‘Did you hear about the accident that happened in Florida? Tsk… such a shame.’

‘Is he dead?’ asked August, as he nuzzled your shoulder.

‘Yes, sir,’ you teased, reaching back to playfully push him off. ‘You are not paying attention.’

‘I am. I’m paying attention to what’s important.’

The implication of his statement drifted right over your head as you were too focused on proving him wrong.

He kissed your neck again and grunted when you jabbed him with an elbow.

‘Well, if you were paying attention to what was important, you’d know that…’

‘That Dunn is here in London,’ August finished for you and continued to lazily caress your back.

That shut you right up. How did he know?

‘Of course, you knew,’ you chuckled.

‘I suggest,’ said August, changing the subject and lifting his head to take your earlobe between his lips. ‘We take one more day here and then find him.’

As he spoke, August slid his hands beneath you, turned you away from the laptop and pulled you atop him. You wriggled with delight, and grasping the robe’s belt, you pulled the knot free and let it fall open.

‘Just one day?’ you asked, sliding down the length of his body to ease his cock into your mouth.

‘Anything!’ he gasped, the heat of your mouth robbing him of coherent through. ‘Whatever you want.’

You wanted at least two extra weeks after the mission.

**

When you woke hours later, August was gone. There was a note left for you on the nightstand and in his neat print he’d written, ‘Supply Run.’

You stretched under the duvet and tapped the stiff cardstock against your lower lip.

Supply Run either mean food, or guns and knowing August, it was probably the latter. You were just raiding the over-stocked minibar refrigerator when he returned to the hotel room, carrying a long black duffel which he dropped onto the chaise at the end of the bed.

‘Guns,’ you said aloud, looking up from the chilled box of chocolate.

‘What?’ he asked, shrugging out of his jacket.

You smiled and shook your head and switched on BBC World Service.

Unzipping the duffel, August asked, ‘what do you know about Sage Software?’

‘Nothing,’ you answered truthfully. ‘Who are they?’

‘They supply small business software. Dunn is working with them and hacking them.’

Taking the chocolates to the bed, you opened your laptop and searched the business. With a laugh, you rolled over onto your back and looked up at August with interest. He was smiling slightly back at you.

‘Well, what do you know?’ you said with amusement. ‘Sage is located in the Shard, which is… ’

August nodded to you and his grin widened.

‘Right downstairs,’ he finished.

‘Did you plan this? Getting a room here because he was downstairs?’ you giggled, when he leaned over to kiss you.

‘Of course. Leave nothing to chance, Princess.’

Well, that nickname was new, you thought, delighted.

‘What’s the plan, then?’

August stretched out on his back next to you and folded his hands on his belly.

‘He’s got an office on the 13th and is there most nights.’

‘Most nights,’ you repeated and waited for him to finish his thought.

‘Tonight.’

**

Dunn was surprisingly easy to pick off. You had expected for him to have cameras and monitors and other high tech stuff to alert him to the presence of anyone who came unannounced to his office. And, you were surprised that /he/ was surprised when August quietly opened the thin office door and let himself in.

You stayed in the corridor and watched the scene unfold through the narrow decorative glass panel next to the door.

Dunn obviously recognised and remembered August,  because he bolted out of his swivel chair and threw himself against the wall behind him.

‘I thought you were dead!’ you heard him shout before the silenced round splattered him across the frog poster that announced ‘work hard, play hard, live hard’.

You clapped lightly as August exited the office.

‘Well done, baby,’ you praised him. ‘But come on. I heard the lift bell. It would be stupid of us to get caught.’

All the little piggies had gone to slaughter. All except one.

**

Ethan Hunt was not a stupid man.

In fact, he was quite the opposite. He was cunning and clever and suspicious which were characteristics that helped him to remain one of the top Mi6 agents.

He also had a golden streak of very good luck and August Walker was just about to ruin that man’s whole career.

‘He went squirrely, ’ said Ayami who was pawing through a tin of broken Danish butter cookies from where she sat perched on the kitchen counter-top.

Two weeks after you returned from the Dunn business,  Ayami just turned up at the country safe-house. Much to your delight, you’d found her one morning sitting at the kitchen table having a bagel and cream tea. And you knew why she was there. Things were winding up to the big payoff and the team needed to be as consolidated as possible.

‘What does that mean?’ you asked her but it was Mr. Instant Coffee who answered.

‘Means that he knew what’s good for him and went underground.’

‘Because all of his peeps were getting murdered,’ Ayami finished cheerfully and you half expected her and Instant Coffee to slap hands in a celebratory high-five.

August sat silently in his usual place, thoughtfully turning the small white coffee cup in a circle on the table.

‘Last time he was seen?’ he asked finally.

‘Park hotel, Berlin,’ Instant Coffee read from the reports supplied by the ‘boots on the ground’ team. ‘Been there for about a week, but he hasn’t really stayed one place for more than that. We should have moved earlier.’

‘No,’ said August, not looking at him, but at the cup. ‘No, we want to give him enough rope to hang himself. Let him get complacent.’

‘Do we have time to let him get complacent?’ Instant Coffee said. ‘I mean, the longer we wait, the more time he’ll have to burrow in like a fucking tick.’

You looked at Instant Coffee for a moment. He did have a point.

‘Okay,’ August replied easily. ‘You’re right.’

At that moment, your respect for August Walker increased ten-fold. That he was able to take in the opinion of the other members of his team was unbearably sexy. He may have earned a little leg over for later that night.

‘I’m going alone,’ August announced finally, drawing the sharp attention of everyone in the room.

You reined your own reaction because an emotional response in that instant would have been inappropriate. You knew exactly why August wanted to hunt down Ethan alone. Hunt had not only gravely wounded August’s body but also his pride. His revenge was personal.

‘That’s probably not a good idea,’ said Instant Coffee, obviously feeling confident that he had scored a few brownie points a few moments earlier.

August scowled and looked to you. Meeting his gaze,  you nodded once.

‘August should face Hunt alone,’ you said to the room and then to him, added, ‘but I don’t think you should go alone.’

There was so much gratefulness in his eyes that you felt embarrassed and looked away. You didn’t want August to see the answering distress in your eyes. If the fight on the cliff side had been fair, and luck hadn’t been on Hunt’s side, August wouldn’t have lost. Tossing August over the edge was poor sportsmanship. You were afraid that Hunt would employ other clever tricks and defeat August for the second time. And now that August wanted to take on the IMF leader alone ensured that he would be left vulnerable to losing the upper hand.

You didn’t want to lose him again, but you remained silent. This was ultimately August’s decision and he had made his choice.

**

The two of you didn’t speak much on the trip to Berlin. There wasn’t much to say. You didn’t dare express to him your fears, because that would only serve to distract him with your possibly misplaced doubt. And distraction was the last thing August needed.

When he pulled up to a local hotel to drop you off, you stayed in the car, sitting quietly for a moment, unsure what to do or say. Sighing, you turned to him and reached to cup his cheek.

‘See you soon,’ you encouraged him. ‘Bring me a trophy.’

August nodded and you got out of the car.

Come back to me, you thought watching the car disappear in the afternoon traffic.

Your room faced the Berliner Fernsehturm and you could hear music from the festival going on in the square below. You took a long hot shower and stretched on the surprisingly comfortable bed. It wasn’t the Shangri-la, but it was charming and it wasn’t long before you fell asleep.

The room door thunking shut as if a heavy weight collapsed against it awoke you hours later. With a gasp, you shot upright and reached for your weapon. You couldn’t remember where the light switch was, so when you scrambled up from the bed, you backed up to the table under the window and jerked open the curtains to let in the artificial outdoor light.

The scent of sulphur and petrol filled the room and as your eyes slowly adjusted to the differences in the light you could just make out the bulky form sitting on the floor against the door. You knew that form as the impression of it was etched on your own flesh.

You put your weapon aside and padded barefoot across the hardwood floor, grabbing a towel and wetting it as you passed the small bathroom alcove. You crouched before the shadowed figure and put your hand beneath his chin. You lifted his face to the light and it was clear that Hunt had given August a run for his money.

You gently cleaned the dried blood from his mouth and chin, carefully working it out of his moustache and scruff.

You wanted to say something reassuring, something positive, but you were too overwhelmed with relief.

‘Well,’ you murmured, stroking his face. ‘I hate to see the other guy.’

August was silent and you hoped you hadn’t over stepped the line.

He then held up a small package wrapped neatly in butcher’s paper and tied with white twine. You took it from him, pulled the string and the paper unfolded  to reveal your trophy. Holding it up to the light, it took a moment for you to recognise the carefully extracted evidence of Hunt’s death and you smiled.

‘Come on, you big brute,’ you said fondly, attempting to pull him up from the floor.

When August didn’t budge, you stopped straining against his weight and gasped with exertion.

‘You’re gonna have to help me here, babe!’

Groaning miserably, August managed to get his feet beneath him using the door and you to heave himself from the floor. You struggled to get him out of his clothes  and under the soft yellow light above the sink you examined him. Big swollen bruises bloomed across his chest and back accompanied by several shallow scrapes and slashes. You wasted no time washing him up, patching his wounds, and getting him into bed.

Lying on his belly, August was still asleep when you woke the next morning. You went to the minibar refrigerator, withdrew your trophy and admired it in the morning sunlight. Your mobile beeped.

It was a message from Ayami.

‘Tell your boyfriend to be a little less conspicuous next time, ok?’ she’d written.

Curious, and glancing at August’s sleeping form, you rang her.

‘What’s that mean?’ you asked when she answered.

‘I mean that August didn’t need to leave that fucker’s burning corpse in the warehouse. He damn near burned down the place.’

‘He was obviously sending them a message,’ you answered, smiling gleefully, proud of your little murder puppy.

‘I can understand that,’ she shot back sounding uncharacteristically irritable. ‘But that also earned us more attention than we wanted.’

You sobered.

‘Is this something that needs to be taken care of?’

‘It’s already handled,’ she answered and some of her good humour crept back into her voice.

You sighed and relaxed, wrapping an arm about your midsection.

‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ you said after a moment with no conviction in your voice and she laughed incredulously.

‘When are you coming back?’ she asked, changing the subject.

‘I dunno. Depends on what August wants.’

‘Ok, you two lovebirds hash it out and I’ll see you… whenever.’

‘Thanks, Ayami. I love you!’

‘Get something from the Wall museum for me, ok?’

You disconnected the call and tossed aside the mobile.

Feeling a warm sense of well-being, you re-wrapped your trophy and stored it in the refrigerator again. Climbing into bed next to August, you lifted his arm, crawled beneath it, and curled your body against him.

August had exacted his revenge and you felt satisfied for him. But you weren’t sure what was going to happen now. The mission that had consumed so much of your year was over. You felt un-moored and a little panicked, but when August tightened his arm round you, your hamster wheel of thoughts scattered.

There was time to worry later, now in the heat of August’s embrace was peace and with a small smile still on your lips, you put your head against him and slept.

-end

[thesextheorist]

External Female Genitalia Continued – The Clitoris is the powerhouse of pleasure!

WARNING: One anatomical diagram of the female anatomy and one diagram of the structure of the clitoris.

First of all, I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for liking and supporting my previous posts. I was unsure of how this blog would be received, but it’s heart warming to see all of you enjoying the content. I hope I can keep it up for you and improve the quality of the posts as I gain more experience.

Ok, sappy shit over. The clitoris. That little nub that for some reason, everyone seems to have a hard time finding. Can’t say I blame you really. During my first masturbation experience I was furiously rubbing the wrong area, somewhere just above my vaginal opening, and I thought I was broken or that I had been lied to about its power (masturbation is one of the next topics to come up – trust me I’ll give you the full story, it’s too fucking funny not to). Turns out, the clit is so much bigger than that little nub you see in your vulva. I’m inserting my shit diagram again for reference.

Yeah, that thing is actually 9 – 12 cm long (5 inches max – usually) and most of its structure is internal. Actually, roughly 90% of the clitoral structure is internal. I haven’t drawn this next diagram, but I can do if you all want to see more of my appalling art.

As you can see, the clitoral structure is like an arch or wishbone shape. The internal structure actually encircles the vagina (which is the actual canal beyond the vaginal opening – where dicks, tampons, fingers etc. all go when they venture inside). Unfortunately my lovelies, there is not a great deal I can tell you about the actual internal structure of the clitoris – because even the doctors have only just figured out what it looks like and what it does. The clitoris was ignored until the absolute goddess and urologist (a doctor who focuses on the functions of the urinary system…piss doctors for simple minded people like myself) Dr Helen O’Connell did an investigation into the clitoris using an MRI and discovered this mass internal structure in 2005!

However, what I can tell you is that if you’re just wanting to know more about that little nub and the magic it works, I’ve got you covered. The clitoris, also called the clitoral glans, the part that you can see on the external anatomy has roughly 8,000 nerve endings – quite a lot for its surface area, which is why it is so sensitive to stimulation. These nerve endings can send signals to 15,000 surrounding nerve endings in the pelvic/genital region. Now that I know how to masturbate properly, when I just stimulate this area I get the ‘leg shakes’ and can feel the stimulation all the way down to my feet. Powerful thing isn’t it? Again, not hard to see why this is the best area to focus on for your female partners. It is also rare when a female is able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

In the most recent study conducted in 2017, only 18% of women in Finland could orgasm through penetrative sex alone. The total amount of women who took part in the study was 8,000 – so that’s 1440 women who did not need their clitoris stimulated. Now! Do not take this as, ‘omg my body doesn’t work, I should be able to orgasm from something going inside!’ – no, you get those thoughts out of your head right now. Everyone’s bodies work differently. If you can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation (either on its own or with penetrative sex) – that doesn’t mean you’re any less of a woman and you do what works for you. If you don’t need clitoral stimulation to orgasm – again, doesn’t make you any less of a woman. You’re all amazing and should be proud of what you can do. You should embrace what gets you off and actually learn about techniques regarding that area to enhance your experience.

The clitoris, you’ll be happy to hear, has no reproductive function whatsoever! It is the only organ in the female body which is entirely focused on pleasure. It certainly helps to stimulate it before penetrative sex as through arousal, as previously established, it brings increased blood flow to the vulva – increasing sensitivity of the area and it stimulates the Bartholin Glands to release that lube like substance which is essential for sex. As well as this, stimulation of the clitoris and orgasms in general can help with period pains and stress relief via the release of endorphins, and it can help with sleepless nights. This is subjective for everyone, it helps with my period cramps, but I can’t use it to help me sleep, I just end up more awake from the excitement of it all.

That’s it for the external female genitalia! My next post will be about giving some love to the guys as we talk about the external male genitalia.

Here is the link to the study I was talking about earlier. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319671#The-female-orgasm-in-research

I hope this has helped you all. Stay sex positive my lovelies!

-          Love, TheSexTheorist xxx

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

My notes on Lethal White episode 3

As usual, my poorly sorted and not-really-filtered thoughts on “Lethal White”, episode 3. Continued under the cut because ALL THE SPOILERS!

We’re back with Robin and cling-wrapped Chiswell. Holliday plays Robin’s tenuously controlled panic very well. The subtle trembling, the tears she forces back. She’s so good. 👏����

A two-week jump. These always jar me. Did that happen in the book?🤨

Another mention of Strike talking with Wardle, and again we don’t get to see him. Dang. I really miss his leather-jacketed wry humour. 😔

Of course they’re meeting at “The White Horse”. Where else? *Rosmersholm vibes*

The reveal about the bones was a bit anti-climactic, wasn’t it? It had a better effect with the skull, in the book. And how do you “accidentally” shoot a horse, even when it’s a small one? How much more are we supposed to hate Freddie? (This episode is just full of terribly behaving men)

Who are the kids playing with the dog? Pringle and Pong? Were those their ridiculous nicknames?

And here comes the “Knives Out” scene. 🔪The Chiswell family is such a loving bunch. *coughs*

Did you see the playful tension between Raff and Robin? And that little disconcerted look Cormoran casts them? Bit jealous, Corm? 😏

Raff’s sarcastic little throw-in remarks are really making this scene more fun. Gotta give him that: he adds a bit of “black sheep” dash to the family!

“KEYS!” 😁 Cormoran is like the adult stepping between a bunch of fist-throwing kids.

Cormoran and Robin are staring at the Chiswell’s bickering as if waiting for one of them to actually start spitting and biting.

Raff: “I’m sure our charming hostess means to offer you tea at some point.” 🤣

Cormoran: “I’m thinking it might be suicide after all. He couldn’t face another family gathering.” 😂

*grunts* We’ve all been there, haven’t we? (And I don’t even want to start thinking about Cormoran’s family gatherings…)

Hah! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I guessed right from the leaked stills: it is the hospital Billy’s in! (Cookie points for me!)

That staff woman gives off very sensible and caring vibes. They picked the actress well.

And, god, Billy carved the horse into his own chest? 😟 Good god…

Vanessa! And she looks good! And - unlike in the first series - she smiles! And is really NICE! (Wow, what a beautiful woman.) 😍

That little lounge corner in Cormoran’s office is new, isn’t it? Very cozy. ☕️🍪

Goth Robin! She looks awesome! 😍 (Excuse me, but have we traveled back into the 80s? She looks like half the people in my school back then.) And look at Holliday playing her: she even moves differently! This season must have been a lot of fun for her as an actress.

I love the Wiccan shop. I had one of those salt lamps (and a lava lamp too), but don’t tell anybody… ☺️

Cormoran’s FACE when he sees goth Robin! 🥰The double take, the pleased surprise, that touch of awe… He is so proud of her! (What a contrast to Matt the Twat’s derogatory reactions to her disguises).

Cormoran: “You liking Raff then?” Are we a teensy bit jealous again, Corm? ☺️

When he asked Robin what she was doing this evening, I held my breath. WAS HE GOING TO ASK HER OUT? 🤗 He wasn’t. 😔 Everybody calm down. It’s not happening yet. Unfortunately. And probably never will. *very long sigh*

It’s so cute how he can’t stop looking at her! 🥰I love her confidence. And his twinkle-eyed, soft grin that doesn’t seem to want to fade. He truly admires her, for her competence AND for her looks. ASK HER OUT YOU FOOL! *headdesk*

Lorelei. With coffee. Apologizing for saying “I love you”. Ack. And then Corm says “I was gonna call you.” (You weren’t, admit it!). I didn’t know what to feel when seeing this scene for the first time: shocked that they were still together? Sympathy for Lorelei? Mad at Cormoran’s lackluster ‘yeah, alright, whatever’ attitude? Very mixed emotions.

Cormoran following Aamir along the South Bank. Watch me pointing excitedly at the screen because I’ve strolled down that same boardwalk way back when traveling was still a thing. *flails* *misses London*

Aamir’s place. Why is Cormoran talking about food again? Robin hasn’t fed him biscuits today yet, has she?

Cormoran’s always a bit unnerving when interrogating someone. He uses friendly words, but there is that tiny bit of menace about him, an intensity and pressure… SIB Corm. Tom does that so well. 😎

“You gonna butter me?” Smooth moves, ex-Sergeant Strike! 🥋 Oh, I love seeing him in action! 🤗

Robin hides the phone, and I am a nervous wreck worrying someone’s going to call and her phone isn’t in silent mode! (enneagram type 6 here, hello…) 😬

I was waiting for Matt to be an absolute prick when he sees goth Robin, but he’s actually not. And he’s had the Green Dress mended. I like how the show gives him a few shades and doesn’t paint him as outrageously hateful as the book does. (jftr, we all still hate you, Matt!)

But then, the way he rushes at her with his “That’s not true” - why does it somehow feel like a physical threat? And wow, Robin is COLD. Dude, your marriage is over. You just haven’t been notified yet.

So we’re ignoring Lorelei’s calls again, Cormoran? *eyebrow lift* Is that what we do as a gentleman? And then he calls off dinner and has no more than a lame “Sounds good, I’ll call you” when she mentions breakfast? If he’s not invested at the mention of food, something is clearly wrong…

Della Winn, and they picked a blind actress for the role. Good for them! ✔️

So, help me out here, native speakers: Della says she can hear the West Country in Cormoran’s vowels, but to me he doesn’t sound Cornish. Am I wrong? To my ears, Tom is speaking in some sort of self-made accent that I can’t place, but it doesn’t sound anything like the Cornish burr Robert Glenister gives him in the audiobooks. Opinions? 🤔

Rhiannon’s story touched me in the book, and it touches me deeply here. A revenge murder would’ve made perfect sense to me.

The party. We’ve apparently time-traveled again.

“What’s ‘Becca’ short for?” 🙄

Ah! The note was hidden in the maxipads box! I seem to recall that, in the book, Robin hid the Houses of Parliament bugging device in a tampon box. Cool parallel.

VANESSA! HURRY UP! 😨

The chase. Good thing this goth girl wears sensible shoes! Nice trick with the crouching and tripping. Take THAT, Jimmy! Robin’s learned from past experience, and I love the addition of the chase that wasn’t in the book. Robin’s no longer a helpless victim. She is a FIGHTER! And - BAM! Perfect timing, patrol car! 🚔

Cormoran: “How did you guess where she hid it?” (Because that’s where girls hide stuff, darling. ONE good thing all the menstruating is good for at least.)

Quick shout-out to Tom Burke’s freckles. They really should be credited as supporting actors. 🥰

Btw, the navy jumper is not a jumper but a cardigan! I bet Tom was pleased. (And my shippy brain can imagine him wrapping a freezing Robin in it 💙)

Enter Lorelei. Here be dragons.

“You know, if you want a hot meal and a shag with no human emotions involved, there are restaurants. And brothels.”

Oooohhhh... 😳

Need ointment for that burn, Corm?

And she’s entitled! Cormoran’s old school gallantry seems to have gone MIA when it comes to treating Lorelei with the respect she deserved. Especially since he had his chance at ending it decently and respectfully at their earlier little talk over coffee. I still don’t think he meant to hurt her. It was thoughtlessness. Which is no redeeming factor at all. He deserved this, even in front of Robin. #TeamLorelei

Well, at least he didn’t get smacked with an ashtray this time.

I LOLed when Robin simply went straight back to business without commenting. A real pro. 😎

Cormoran: “That was a bit awkward.” Was it, Corm? We barely noticed. *snorts*

And although Robin defends him a little bit, her suppressed smirk and her work-life balance remark tell us she’s enjoyed this a bit. And not just because Cormoran is single again.

Matthew calls: “Sorry, it’s a work thing.” (NO IT ISN’T AND YOU’RE A LYING, CHEATING [REDACTED] !!!) 🤬

Robin steps on Sarah Shaglock’s earring, and now starts a scene that makes me want to shower Holliday in BAFTAs. 🏆🏆🏆 Heart wrenching, painful, powerful. And Matthew finally shows his true colours. (And Kerr Logan deserves a nod for his acting too).

On a completely irrelevant side note: Matt stole that coat from Darius Tanz, only that Santi looked hot as hell in it whereas Matt just looks like an accountant who pretends to look hot. (Go and watch “Salvation” if you have no clue what I’m talking about)

Robin is so bravely holding it together, and - wow - her coldness towards Matt is pretty impressive, and at the same time she’s forcing herself not to cry and fights down a panic attack. It’s amazing how she puts every emotion and train of thought from the books onto the table and we can read it in her face and in her voice and body language. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Best scene of the season, if you ask me. (Not that anyone ever asks me, but here it is.)

“I’m not gonna let you fail again!” 😡 Aaaand Matt tries to put her down again. To make her feel weak and in need of help. BUT IT’S NO LONGER WORKING. She’s got this. Oh, she’s got this!

They left out Robin saying that he “doesn’t even have a knife”, and I’m actually glad they did. This didn’t need to be about physical assault again. Matt wouldn’t go that far, and it wasn’t necessary to go there. They clearly showed how manipulative he is and how strong Robin has to be to walk away from him, and that is enough.

The minicab driver. I remember the actress as Mrs. Fitz from “Outlander”, and she’s the perfect motherly tough love type to crack that marriage joke. And to get our girl out of there with no further fuss.

Whoa. I had high expectations. And they were met 10/10.

What did you guys think?

[gearruth68]

Cryo treatment - What You required To understand About This recovery treatment.

vaginal tightening Femiwand Treatment costs spire appearance.

Content

Hair therapies.

D treatment

do Away With Orange Peel Skin With Birch Oil

When Will I really Feel comfortable attending significant occasions After Facelift surgical Procedure?

things That influence The look Of Cellulite Include.

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that Are the Very Best prospect For A Facelift?

The additional sessions are indicated to aid the lady attain the feeling and look they desire. Typically, the physician will set up the treatment sessions as though they get to happen between 4 and six weeks apart. The fact that this treatment does not have any type of downtime is among things that makes it appealing to numerous women. As holds true with several clinical procedures, it's not unusual for clients to have inquiries on the therapy. You will also require to participate in a consultation session with the aesthetician. The truth that ladies tend to have different physique requires the aesthetician to prepare all patients differently.

Reporter Lisa Fogarty tried the treatmentand wrote about her experience in Redbook magazine online, keeping in mind a reduction in her requirement to urinate when working out and also an increase in sexual pleasure. She found that the treatment made her feeling more amorous as she 'd taken time out to treat herself to a treatment made to enhance her sex-related satisfaction. Fringe benefits of the therapy will consist of removing or decreasing urinary stress and anxiety urinary incontinence, an usual issue recognized to affect women that might remain in various life phases. The ultrasound technology being used here is an innovation that has actually currently been tried, examined, as well as proven to function successfully.

Hair treatments.

It is best to prevent penetrative sex and also making use of tampons for the initial 3 days following the therapy to give the location an opportunity to recover. This is one of the most crucial Vaginal Tightening up FAQ. The skin in the vaginal area can end up being loose, just like skin on other locations of the body.

D therapy

Here with us at Pro-Moi every little thing that is gone over throughout your examination will be purely confidential. The HIFU technology that we use is licensed, as well as the treatment is risk-free and non-surgical. Mason added that the business has "strict methods that we enforce on training and management of these procedures as well as we have never undergone any kind of malpractices or anything that has actually harmed any of our customers". When this is truly utilized, it creates efficient thermal heating system to the interior finishings of tissues. The honesty of the feature permits extensive management over the activity as well as additionally stamina of the ultrasound exam to see to it excellent advantage for each individual. FemiWand Vaginal Firm is truly a 30-minute treatment that may be in fact applied on your lunch possibility remainder. Before having any kind of FemiLift therapy you will certainly need to have an up to date Pap smear result.

Following your Appointment with our expert you will be suggested 2 or even more treatments as indicated. At LBPS our expert medical team are trained to provide you with the absolute best care with security as a concern.

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Which's the important things-- these clinics desire our money, as well as up until appropriate laws are introduced for non-surgical treatments in the UK, they're mosting likely to maintain marketing. FemiWand ® is in fact a High-Intensity Focused Ultrasound therapy that uses effective ultrasound test electrical energy. The number of treatments that are needed for every person will differ. Most people require simply 2 treatments to accomplish durable enhancement in both feeling and also urinary incontinence. If you have serious laxity you may need 3 or 4 treatments every 6 weeks to attain the optimal result.

When Will I really Feel comfy participating In significant events After Facelift surgical Procedure?

La-Lipo for coolsculpting Reading unanticipated adverse effects of Femilift treatment for several ladies isincreased self-confidence as well as sex appealthat originates from hanging out caring for this extremely personal area of the body. For others, finding an option to an awkward trouble and also merely no more having to put on urinary incontinence pads or fret about dripping urine can havea large result on a woman's self-esteem as well as self-confidence. For lots of women the results of Femilift therapy can be life altering. Bianca, among our patients at Health and wellness & Aesthetic appeal, said that the outcomes of the treatment meanher life-long incapacitating urinary incontinence trouble has actually been 85-90% cured.

A good expert will provide you a complete pelvic evaluation as well as take your case history before suggesting the most effective choice of therapy. This may mean that they do not advise Femilift if they believe it won't aid your signs. It is very important to note that every person is various as well as the amount as well as regularity of your therapies will depend upon your individual conditions. If you have less treatments after that you might find that the issue you're dealing with will certainly come back, whereas having the complete course of therapy, with regular top ups, need to keep problems away for numerous years. Some women notice an enhancement in their signs and symptoms after the initial therapy, but it maytake a complete training course of treatment to experience the very best results.

Our personnel will certainly lead as well as sustain you with your FemiLift Laser Vaginal Tightening Up Treatment from Examination and Treatment, to Adhere To Up Treatment. Our experienced Nurses will additionally be at hand to support you any time on our devoted 24/7 individual telephone number. Is not painful-- ladies who have had the treatment record only a tingle of warmth yet no pain. Since the genital wall surface consists of collagen fibers, with time these can stretch as well as trigger the genital wall surface to shed flexibility. This can trigger a decrease in enjoyment of sexual relations. In addition to a normal component of aging, this decrease in flexibility can be enhanced after kid birth.

This will additionally be the time to ask any kind of burning inquiries that might be troubling you regarding the treatment. FemiWand treatment is likewise thought of as being perfect for women who don't wish to undergo any type of kind of medical therapy. It's upon you to carry out your study prior to picking a facility to manage the treatment. HIFU innovation targets the dermal and also SMAS layer of the skin, for both superficial and muscular tightening; generation brand-new collagen, causing the skin to tighten up, tone as well as lift. Ensure that you avoid warm settings such as sunbeds and saunas for seventy two hrs after the treatment. Furthermore, do not have hot baths or showers during this amount of time, as this may create you pain since the skin is really delicate.

If you believe you may be suffering from any kind of medical condition, you should seek instant clinical attention.

If you have specific concerns regarding any medical issue, you must consult your doctor or other doctor.

The products and treatments referred to within our site will only be offered after conclusion of an extensive medical history, and, where called for, under the prescription of Lumière Medispa's Nurse Independant Prescriber.

You need to never delay seeking clinical guidance, negligence clinical advice or stop medical therapy because of information on our site.

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anti-wrinkle Therapy in Oxfordshire, Consisting Of Wrinkle Kicking back Injections, facial fillers, and Skin Peel therapies.

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points That influence The look Of Cellulite Include.

Can a facelift help smokers lines?

Unfortunately, a facelift is not effective at treating those all too common lines around the mouth (smoker's lines). Even patients who do not smoke can develop these lines, sometimes fairly deep. To correct those, a resurfacing procedure needs to be performed.

We eagerly Anticipate Seeing You In one Of Our Clinics Nationwide.

Another effect of the loss of elasticity in the vagina can be repeat vaginal infections which are crippling and also stressful. Expect friendly and expert service from start to finish as you're made to feel welcome by the enthusiastic as well as educated team. Constantly as much as day with the most recent techniques and fads, these gifted therapists are fully certified and customize each therapy to match your demands.

Using ultrasound cartridge sticks as opposed to relying on intrusive surgical needles suggests that the person will certainly not experience any type of downtime or discomfort. You will have the ability to go right back to function after undergoing a session at your favored center. But as stated above, you ought to wait a minimum of twenty-four hrs before making love or resuming your health and fitness tasks. Aside from being a pain-free procedure, it should not take more than twenty minutes, half an hour at most to finish it. Treatments are scheduled at 4 or 6 weeks periods and most clients see a great renovation after 2 sessions. This therapy has come to be an innovative medical option to standard vaginoplasty. All our practitioners recognize this is not a subject everyone really feels comfortable discussing.

Is 60 too old for rhinoplasty?

Average Age of Rhinoplasty Patient In my experience, most people seeing a rhinoplasty are between young and middle adulthood (ie 20 to 50's). Occasionally, a teenager will be serious enough to get a nose job, and if they meet criteria, a rhinoplasty is very safe. Also less common are the much older patients.

Do not stress-- there are some signs which might help you to identify whether Vaginal Tightening up will certainly profit you. As an example, you may be experiencing less sensation during intercourse, as well as loss of control over urination. If you are unclear, after that arrange a consultation at Harley Ultrasound where we can assist you determine whether or not Vaginal Tightening is ideal for you.

Their vast array of treatments are constantly developed, making certain the most up to date in skin care innovation and strategies are available for all their customers. Concentrated on supplying a comfortable, safe and secure and reliable experience, Bellezza Facility assures to leave you with glowing, glowing skin with every check out. A short walk from London's world-famous Harrods Shop, Bellezza Clinic London in Knightsbridge is a professional skin clinic supplying an effective option to invasive treatments. To acquire the very best results, you will certainly need to have two to three therapies, spaced four to six weeks apart and afterwards an additional therapy each as well as a fifty percent to 2 years to maintain the outcomes. The treatments are spaced apart to allow time for the collagen, elastin and also brand-new tissue to establish, which reinforces the vagina wall surfaces and also for that reason improves symptoms. A 2018report released by RealSelf, the leading online resource for individuals considering cosmetic therapies, stated that 94% of ladies who have actually had Femilift therapy ranked it as 'worth it' on the website. Genital laser firm has been featured on Today, where design Danielle Lloyd claimed theprocedure changed her life as a treatment for urinary incontinence.

Can Botox lift sagging jowls?

lose stomach weight . Tighten jowls. If your jawline has become less defined, a little Botox along the muscles of the jawbone can pull the skin up for a crisp, defined effect. 6.

In some cases, you might experience identifying or watery discharge a day after the therapy. Yet the medical professional doing the treatment should take you with what to anticipate before your session can begin. What's even more, is that it has been around for more than 5 years.

Are mini facelifts worth it?

If a patient is still in the earlier stages of aging, and primarily concerned with jowling, a mini facelift might just be the ideal cosmetic treatment for them. One of the most appealing aspects of the mini facelift is that it's very effective at treating early aging in a minimally invasive fashion.

This is more likely to occur with age, if you are obese, as well as if you have delivered. At Harley Ultrasound we understand this is an area that is not conveniently accessible for evaluation, and also tough to talk about.

Offering every little thing from waxing and facials to manicures and also brow colors, Clapham's EGP Appearances has all the appeal treatments you require under one roof. The group of professional therapists integrate their comprehensive expertise with the most up to date brands and innovation to supply top quality therapies tailored to match your beauty requirements. In 2018 a research study by the International Continence Societylooked right into the result of Femilift on females with anxiety urinary system incontinence. The study found that 81.8% of females reported renovation at their 3 month follow-up consultation, after having three session of Femilift therapy.

[deadreligions]

Beginning

Chapter 1.

A true story.

I don’t know why i’m writing this. I don’t know why I feel that after all these years, that this might be the most forward way to conclude this internal dialogue of what was real and what wasn’t. I have the journals. Scratched in words filled with anxiety and lust wrapped up in a toxic relationship that ultimately determined my path in life.

We go back

 We go back

We go back

Down

Down

Down

Do you care to follow?

It might hurt.

Enjoy the ride.

July 11, 2007

The air is crisp and rolls through my window, it's hot and the air feels so heavy in this monstrous room that I share. I’m tired. My heart still hurts. I don’t understand why I’m being forced out of this relationship that I've been in for like a year almost, my parents can be so uptight. I still remember my mom wigging out after finding out I use tampons over pads now at the ripe age of 14, but oh man when they found out I lost my virginity they completely lost it and banned me to my singleness and internal loathing. My whole last year of 8th grade was nothing short of craziness and experiments that some people would highly question. Maybe i’ll let you know a few things but until then i’m trapped in this fucking room left to my own devices, maybe i’ll make a habit of journaling every thought that happens to cross my mind but i’m sure its going to be a boring summer. Who knows. I’m going back to bed.

July 11, 2007

DUUUDE my mom came in and said that I can go to the lake with her and my sister! I’m super unmotivated but the idea of being able to be outside for a few hours might just cure this aching heart. I don’t know, maybe i’ll actually catch a decent tan for once instead of just burning to a crisp per usual pastiness. I may have some hispanic through me, but the irish trumps all and provides olive skin with long thick brown hair that is almost unmanageable sometimes. I sometimes feel like a decent blend of both ethnicities but who's to say, I never felt like I was that special anyways. I’m rambling. Again. 

I couldn’t put my finger on it yet, but this anxious feeling was washing over me and I couldn’t think as to what it might be. I tongued the side of my cheek in hopes of a distraction. My mom was busy driving and enjoying the 85 degree weather to notice any signs of worrisome. My younger sister tuning out just as much but more or less excited for this impromptu trip to the lake. We haven’t lived here long but the scenic trees that nestle in the great seattle regions felt like home when compared to the dry desert of Richland, Washington. I could almost breathe in the moisture. When it came time to finally turn off of an intersection towards the waterfront, the anxiety feeling became almost overwhelming and knotted in the pits of my stomach, I felt so uncomfortable in my two piece bathing suit in public. Mainly because even at 120 pounds of flesh I felt so out of touch with myself and the way I looked. I wasn’t nearly as developed as the girls in my 8th grade class and the averageness of myself was almost glaring. I wanted to sink into fall already.

“You ready? Now I understand that you’re under a tight restriction but I couldn’t resist giving into this day, it's all nice and what not. I don’t know what's gotten into you, but maybe a day out with your family would be good for you. I love you, but I just need you to be safe okay?”

I tried to understand what she was implying, but all I heard was the echoing insecurities and everything that followed was you aren’t going to date. Ever. Again. I shuffled out of the front seat and replied with a simple yeah just to mull things over with her, I honestly didn’t feel comfortable talking to my mom about how I was feeling let alone what others were doing at my age. She wouldn’t understand. 

I had to guide my younger sister by my side and slowly walked down a narrow path that would eventually open up into a huge entryway with trees lining the way, almost guiding you into a private oasis surrounded by greenery. The lake big enough to swallow as far as I could see, I felt drawn to be enveloped by it. I wanted to be weightless. My younger sister took no reservation by running gleefully into its depths, and sinking into its lucrative fluid that made her shiver with laughter. My mother’s hearty chuckle that barreled through her chest and a side eye that questioned my own enthusiasm. 

“You getting in?”

I shrugged my shoulders hoping maybe she would let me sit down and enjoy the scenery but of course that’s not the case.

“Go on, I have some reading to catch up on and you need to be outside at least for a little bit this summer so I suggest you enjoy it while you can.”

“FINE.” I was entirely annoyed with the situation but I knew it was also pointless to start with her once she gets going, besides anything is better than that dreaded room at this point. I dropped my towel and glasses and kicked off my sandals, and was soon already crossing the waterfront pier slicked with water from the numerous people jumping off of it. One by one, gainers and backflips performed for onlookers who waded in the water below. Girls about a year or so older than I were crowding towards the corner of the pier and hoping to find a suitable partner for the summer. Like a mating call. Flocking with all of their colorful feathers and huge tits luring all the possibilities that would fling themselves. I felt awkward. I definitely didn’t want to jump but standing there completely dried alone just screamed weird. I wrestled with my thoughts for a second at most and was disrupted by cheers of the cackling hyenas, giggles and hushed words implied that whoever it was, was the flavor of the day. I stared at the water hoping to catch a curious glimpse at this suitor that seemed to have wooed a slew of young women and was surprised. His hair caressed his skin with its onyx waves while he moved gracefully through the water, like butter being passed through with a knife, his body cut out of the water as he hoisted himself through with the ladder joined to the waterfront. I studied his muscles that moved in symphony as he moved hand over hand, water dripping from every crevice and cut. Like marble cut fresh and polished over. My face felt hot quickly as soon as I noticed that he had turned and met my gaze. I felt exposed. His eyes were haunting pools of black that seemed to have burned when looked at for too long. I turned my head, maybe looking at the water and pretending to search for my sister might make him advert and continue whatever conversation he was having at the time with one of the hyenas. It didn’t. 

“Hello.”

A caramel voice oozed a greeting and left me frozen. I jumped because I wasn’t convinced that this person is literally talking to me, I even looked to my left sure that I was mistaken and was confused to see that I was.

“Uhhh… H-hi?”

“So are you just going to stand here the entire time or are you actually going to go swimming?”

“Well I, u-uh, Yeah I was planning on it but I wasn’t sure how the water felt or anything and didn’t want to freeze to death you know?”

Really. Thats the best you could come up with?

He ran his hand through his hair shaking the residual water out, he cracked a smile as if he knew that was obviously a bluff but something read that his black pools were soft. They greeted me warmly. 

“Come.”

His hand outstretched covered with veins and light hair that speckled through, warmth is being offered from a strange man so why not. Not like I have anything better to do. 

“Okay…”

I took his hand and trusted him as he guided me toward the end of the waterfront, questioning looks from the pack and I could feel the intense analysis of my body being a process. 

“Hey, I realized I didn’t ask your name?”

The more we walked, the more slick it became thick with wet bare feet running through repetitively. I leaned way more into his hand than I wanted too but lord, I was not about to bust my ass on the ground.

“Quinton, but you can call me quint for short, usually everyone does. What's yours? Sorry I’m horrible at introductions.” He suppressed a light laugh and maybe a hint of embarrassment? We finally came at the end of the waterfront and was briefly introduced to his friends, Micah and Max, both seem to be the main culprits of the suitors that the pack was still lingering around. Micah was short, maybe as tall as me at 5’ 7 with copper hair that had ringlets dangling about his pale face, something said that he and Quint were close based on the eye gestures Micah tossed about, he looked up to him. 

“Oh no, you did not let my man lure you in!”

Max smiled wryly at Quint and made his gaze back over, green eyes greeted me kindly and offered an olive tree of friendliness amongst strangers.

“ I’m Max, seems like you’ve already met Quint, don’t let him convince you to do anything because unfortunately he has a bad habit of doing it with us.”

“Hence all the extravagant diving!” Micah waved his hands about and bowed in an incredibly dramatic fashion. “Quint being the swim nut that he is, he’s always trying to level up everyone and it gets old but it's okay, at least we can play into the benefits right?”

Micah gave a wave to the girls still idling near bye and a squeal of giggles erupted, I laughed nervously and tucked as much hair behind my ear that I could before giving a reply.

“Well I actually just met him, he thinks i’m weird for being dry and watching everyone swim but I just don’t want to get cold!” I playfully rolled my eyes, maybe if I match the same enthusiasm that was presented I might just be able to get away with being cool, these guys were obviously a few years older than me so why would I ruin that opportunity? That's all I heard about from high school, the benefits of being with older people in upper classes and that you can get access to anything was enticing.

I noticed that the entire duration of talking to the guys, Quint was still holding my hand, and while typically I would feel absolutely weird and probably creeped out about it something was just so familiar. It felt normal. Quint was quicked to assess the conversations and was reserved, almost as observing but providing small touches of smiles and shrugs here and there, He was even quicker to notice my thought process and was able to put two and two together.

“Ready?”

The guys who were laughing moments ago became serious instantly, They both gripped the side of the waterfront and lifted themselves perfectly to a standing position balancing seemingless. I couldn’t help but gaze in awe as a perfectly timed synchronization of twisting and flipping through the air was accomplished and disappeared into the water below almost within a blink.

Quint pulled on my hand issuing that I should follow, I nervously did but was not quite sure what he was expecting me to do, I cant jump and do crazy flips like that! The more I walked the more I felt like I didn’t belong there. That I should leave. The intense pit back again and barreling deep into my chest now and the heavy thumps proving louder in my ears, I was sure he could hear it. He guided me to the edge of the dock. I looked at him and told him that I was scared, I don’t know you and I don’t want to jump but I feel like I must. That I have too.

“It’s okay stranger, you just have to trust me.”

And just as quick as was spoken, the icy waters caved in around me and pulled me

Down

Down

Down

Into

The

Abyss

You 

Held

Me

In

The

Darkness

And I wished to never come up for air again.

[artificialqueens]

you and i-- we're defying gravity ch. 2 (scyvie) - amelieee

a/n:

hey, i’m back! uh, this time with less typos! i finally got a beta (thank you to my friend althea for helping me). thank you to everyone who’s supported me so far– i know the fic is still boring but hopefully we get to the more dramatic parts soon.

Last chapter: Yvie finally enters Shiz but unfortunately gets roomed with an obnoxious student.

This chapter: School life continues, Yvie learns more about Scarlet, Brooke and Vanjie finally meet, and something bad is happening in Oz.

The walk going to Scarlet’s private suite was incredibly and unbearably awkward. Usually, Yvie —the introvert that she is—would enjoy silence, but this situation irked her to some degree. With the weird icy glares she receives from Scarlet, she knows they wouldn’t get along at all, especially when Scarlet and Yvie’s personality and aesthetics clash horribly.

At least Yvie gets to have a private suite. It’s better than those other cramped rooms Shiz had to offer. If she were to room with Scarlet there, it wouldn’t take too much time until they start brawling with one another.

“So,” Scarlet says at one point midway through their journey to the suite, “You’re Brooke’s sister?” Scarlet says, maybe in some effort to relieve the tension between them. 

“I didn’t know if you were listening a while ago but yes, I am.” Yvie says, her voice sounding very condescending and impolite. She can see that Scarlet holds in a scowl as they begin ascending a flight of stairs.

“I just didn’t expect it, really,” Scarlet says and Yvie was not sure if that was an insult or not, “I’ve actually met your father and your sister a few times before but I never knew someone like you existed,” Scarlet states and Yvie’s eyes narrow at her.

“When did you visit us?” Yvie asks, genuinely curious. To be fair, it wasn’t insulting that she didn’t know of her existence especially when she was unfamiliar with Scarlet as well.

“A few moonlights ago. My two Momsies had a meeting with the governor and they decided to bring me along.” Scarlet states, sounding very proud, “Your father’s such an… interesting man. I see you took his bluntness,” Scarlet states.

Despite Yvie’s hatred towards her father, Scarlet’s comment was very much true. While her sister took the sweetness but occasional asshole-ness of her mother, Yvie got the quick temperedness and bluntness of her father. It was something she disliked about herself especially when she didn’t want to connect to him in any shape or form. She sometimes would love to pretend that he wasn’t her father and honestly, any other person could possibly be a better father figure than him.

“Yes, I’m aware. He’s a dick.” Yvie says and Scarlet raises an eyebrow at her, maybe a bit surprised by how up and on front Yvie was. “And I’m sure you are a Gillikin…?”

“Mhm, proud daughter part of the Envy and James clan— you heard of them?” 

“Nope,” Yvie says, causing Scarlet’s prideful smile to falter. 

“That’s—that’s the first time I’ve heard that,” Scarlet says, clearly irritated. Yvie merely shrugs as a reply, not wanting to continue the conversation further.

Luckily, they finally made it to Scarlet’s room. Unfortunately, it was on the third floor which caused both of them to be exhausted upon arrival. Then again, most of the third floor is occupied by Scarlet’s suite which makes up for the many flights of stairs. 

The suite was impeccably large, but that was expected. It seems that some parts of the room are already furnished: there were red, floral curtains hung up on windows that had the view of most of the campus. Coincidentally, there were two queen-sized beds laid out, and there were numerous shelves which Yvie thought was too suspicious to be meant for one person. All of it just screams ‘Scarlet Envy’ so much, but at least it wasn’t as terrible as Yvie expected the room to look.

“Why do you have two beds?” Yvie asks as she begins to drop her suitcase on her bed.

As she begins unpacking her items, Scarlet replies, “I was going to use these beds to share with my friends whenever they come over but… of course that wouldn’t be the case now,” Scarlet says, still looking annoyed. “Now I have to share my room with someone who has golf balls for eyes, my Oz…”

“That’s the best insult you have? Really?” Yvie says with narrowed eyebrows, “You literally look like a used tampon, don’t try me,” Yvie adds. She hears Scarlet gasp as she begins to fold out all her outfits.

“Excuse me? I made this outfit all by myself,” Scarlet says and Yvie decides to look back at her for a second. Scarlet does a twirl with her dress and Yvie couldn’t help but notice the loose seams of the dress around the waist.

“Yea, I can tell— there’s literally holes on the side of your dress, dumbass,” Yvie retorts and she hears another gasp from Scarlet. Yvie smirks to herself as she takes all of her books and other items out of her bag.

“W-well this is quite old so the seams must’ve given up,” Scarlet says as a reply, “And y’know what? I’m not here to please you anyways… especially to someone who wears trash bags as dresses,” Scarlet says but her comment didn’t really shake Yvie too much. 

“I know, I’m haggard as fuck, nothing new,” Yvie says and she can hear Scarlet grunt in frustration. Out of nowhere, she feels something hit the back of her head, and when she turns around, she sees that Scarlet hatless— she threw her beret directly at Yvie. The impact wasn’t too harsh, though, it barely made Yvie lightheaded. Scarlet, on the other hand, looks livid. Looking like she’s been pushed to her limits. Yvie didn’t care for her well-being, she merely chuckled with a menacing grin.

“I don’t like you, you’re intolerable,” Scarlet snarls as her cheeks were as red as her outfit. Yvie merely enjoyed Scarlet’s irritation and replied by sticking her tongue jokingly. Even if Scarlet looked like she barely enjoyed their banter, Yvie absolutely adores it— anything that makes Scarlet infuriated somewhat entertains Yvie. “Ugh, I can’t stand your face, I’m going to stay with Ra’jah for a few hours.” Scarlet shuts her suitcase with a slam, glares at Yvie, and walks away with an angry strut.

Yvie doesn’t really say anything as Scarlet exits; there was no clever reply for her to push Scarlet’s buttons even further. Instead, she places a picture frame of her and her mother on the bedside table alongside a black vial her mom once gave to her.

//

“You wouldn’t even want to share your desk with me? Isn’t that like, too petty– even for you?” Yvie asks, quite irked that Scarlet was hogging the entire table she had at the corner of the room. Scarlet voiced out a ‘hmph’ as she waved her hand, signalling Yvie to shoo. Yvie quirked an eyebrow at her selfishness but decided not to argue. So, she swiftly stole one of Scarlet’s expensive pens and ran back to her bed to write her letter.

“Hey, bitch, Momsie got me that—“

“It’s just a pen, let me fucking borrow it,” Yvie says, and even if Scarlet takes a sharp inhale, she obliges. 

A few days have passed since the rooming assignments had gone wrong and Yvie and Scarlet still barely handle it well. It was surprising that their room was still intact despite how much Yvie was tempted to throw her entire bed at Scarlet. But only a few days have passed and much more can happen in the span of four years.

Yvie ironically grins to herself, she does not want to imagine what those four years would be like. She doesn’t even know if she can last a year in Shiz with this stuck-up roommate of hers. She and Scarlet have been so close to scalping each other every day, and she doesn’t know how long it’ll last until someone physically combusts. It’s safe to say that their relationship will never elevate from barely tolerable roommates.

Yvie sits cross-legged on her bed with a thick book about Oz’s history on her lap and a blank sheet of paper and envelope lying on top of it. It was her makeshift desk since Scarlet has been using it to write… whatever she’s been writing. Yvie thinks she’s too thick-headed to know how to write. 

Yvie, however, needed to write a weekly progress on her and Brooke for her father. It wasn’t the most enjoyable thing but her father never expects lengthy letters from her. If it wasn’t a letter Brooke wrote, her father would most likely skim through it. So,  the letter would be short, and Yvie could definitely put zero to no effort writing it.

With Scarlet’s fancy-ass pen, she begins to write in messy cursive,

Dear father,

Rooming’s been terrible in Shiz. I wasn’t informed that you have decided to separate my room with Brooke’s— in fact, I don’t even think you remembered to assign me a room (it was expected anyways).

But of course, I’ll take care of Brooke. I promise that she will be safe in my hands.

As for who I am rooming with now… Have you heard of Scarlet James Envy? She claims she’s met you before— her parents are Ama James and Larena Envy, if I recall correctly. I’ve actually never heard of them before, surprise surprise, but you might. 

Anyways, I’m currently staying in Scarlet’s suite and to summarize my thoughts on Scarlet: she’s annoying.

Sincerely, Yvangeline 

Once she finished her short letter, she folded it in half and stuffed it in a plain white envelope. She sticks it closed, attaches a stamp with the Emerald City on it, and writes the required addresses and names on the envelope.

“Are you done writing? I assume you’re done writing—“ Scarlet says out of nowhere as she was finished writing as well. She began writing her letter way before Yvie did so it was logical for her to end writing by now. “Here’s my letter, I want you to dr—“

“Woah woah woah, you’re expecting me to do you a favor?” Yvie says, pushing away the envelope with a displeased expression. To retort, Scarlet pushes it right back, insisting Yvie would accept her request.

“It’s just a fucking letter, Oddly, just drop it at the same time you’re dropping yours.” Scarlet demands as Yvie squints, getting handed the letter from Scarlet. The envelope was unsurprisingly red, just like any other thing she owns, and has a faint smell of different types of flower-based perfumes. The scent, however, was unpleasant and too dizzying for Yvie’s taste.

“Yea, exactly, it’s just a letter. Do it on your own,” Yvie says, raising the envelope in the air for Scarlet to get back. With an aggravating smirk, Scarlet swiftly grabs her clutch bag, attempting to flee from the situation. Yvie almost catches up to her. Unluckily for Yvie, she got away. Even Yvie’s fingers almost got trapped as she tried to run through the door to chase Scarlet.

“What a crazy bitch,” Yvie states, sounding peeved. Looking down at the foul-smelling letter, Yvie was tempted to crumple it up and throw it at a random student from her window. Yvie never obeyed anyone’s requests, always being the rebellious type, and she obviously wouldn’t want to satisfy Scarlet by dropping her letter in as well without anything in return.

But maybe, she can use this as an opportunity to read what she wrote. 

Yvie doesn’t know if Scarlet is aware of this habit of hers but when Scarlet writes anything, whether it’d be an essay or letter, she’d emote and show diverse expressions wildly. A while ago, Scarlet had jumped from looking irked and angry to looking giddy and joyful. It would never be subtle either— she once caught Scarlet spinning around on her chair as she smiled brightly, implying that whatever she wrote must be something great.

And with the letter right at her grasp, maybe she can… take a small peak at what Scarlet wrote. It was nothing too grand or evil— she had no one besides Brooke to spread it to and Brooke had next to no one as her friends as well. It’s just a small gander anyways. Nothing will turn out horribly unless she confesses to Scarlet that she read her letter.

Also, Yvie’s petty. That should be a good reason enough for her to open the note.

Unsealing the envelope, she grabs the poshly designed paper out and began reading the lengthy note.

Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Mumsie,

It’s been five days since I’ve last seen you (or maybe a bit more when you receive this) and I’ve already missed you two so much! I will always miss your fresh fruit shakes after each school day,and it’s been so hard to replicate it on my own. Maybe if you write back, you wouldn’t mind giving me your secrets on making the best fruit shake?

Anyways, Shiz’s partly became a disaster and a dream come true. Surprisingly, many people seem to recognize me! I guess those theatre shows I did never were completely useless. There’s always some crowd following me whenever I get out of my suite or whenever I walk into the cafeteria— it’s as if I’m the Wizard himself! But of course, I know my limits and shouldn’t abuse my popularity.

(Yvie gives a snort at this, somewhat entertained by how fake this all sounds.)

On a worse note, rooming has gone wrong. Madame Visage, the headmistress, has rudely decided to get some freaky student as my roommate. I wasn’t even supposed to have a roommate! Madame Visage would never even dare to listen to my complaints or issues. She even declined my request to teach me sorcery despite my great and informative essay! What a horrible headmistress she might be!

Horrible Madame Visage is merely half of the issue. The other issue is my deranged roommate. To put it lightly she is… unusually and exceedingly peculiar and quite impossible to describe. Well, the second part of that sentence is untrue but I don’t think you would believe it if I say what she looks like! Just know she’s excessively haggard and is the daughter of the governor of Munchkinland. I didn’t even know he had a daughter besides Brooke, how sad it must be to be her.

At the same time I’m quite… envious (hah, I know) that she gained the sorcery class I wanted but couldn’t get all because she was somehow born with powers. I, personally, do not believe what I saw and I theorize it was some act done by Morrible and my roommate to confuse and scare me away. It just doesn’t make sense that they would decline my request— I thought the entirety of Oz loved me?

At least Ra’jah’s here to lend me a helping hand. With her, I’d of course be able to rise above all these issues. Maybe Madame Visage could finally see how skilled I am once that happens. 

Back to Ra’jah, though— she has been wonderful, like always (not to discredit Shuga and Vanjie, of course). Popularity could be overwhelming but with her, my world easens up. I can’t wait ‘til we get married after we both graduate Shiz. Just thinking about it makes me feel so giddy!

Anyways, I suppose that’s all I have to say. I hope you write back soon even if you two have lots of work to deal with. I’ll also make sure to write back immediately as well!

Lots of love, Lettie

Yvie finished reading with raised eyebrows. The letter didn’t contain the juiciest gossip that would satisfy Yvie but it did contain information that Yvie didn’t know of Scarlet before. 

Firstly, she did recognize who Vanjie was. Scarlet only brought her up in once in the letter but Yvie knew that it implied that Vanjie was one of her close friends. How could she have missed seeing that troublemaker on the first day? Yvie recalls Vanjie as the student who always seemed to be glued to Yvie when it came to being classmates from elementary to highschool. They weren’t necessarily close but they got along fine with Vanjie not minding the weirdness of Yvie. Or perhaps Vanjie was only being nice since Yvie remembered that she was quite fond of Yvie’s sister.

Secondly, Scarlet called herself Lettie. It was a tiny detail, but to Yvie it was a bit funny. The name was the opposite of grace and elegance and Yvie couldn’t imagine Scarlet ever using that name in front of anybody. She can’t wait to begin bothering Scarlet with that name far into the future so she wouldn’t realize Yvie might have been reading her letters.

Lastly, the most shocking thing was that she was dating Ra’jah. After reading this, their interactions suddenly made much more sense to Yvie. She was the one who guarded Scarlet all day during the first day of classes. She was the one who Scarlet would always go to whenever Yvie became such a bother to her. She was also the one Scarlet was so touchy-feely with, always snuggling up to her when she got the chance.

Yvie didn’t know why but it gave her a bitter feeling. She barely even knew Ra’jah but she felt like she needs to dislike her as much as she dislikes Scarlet. Maybe it’s an instinct thing since Yvie just hates delusional people like Scarlet.

With a disappointed face, she returns the paper back into the envelope and seals it up again. She plans on dropping this by the school’s mailbox around tomorrow morning before her class with Miss West.

For now, she heads off to her sorcery class with Madame Visage.

//

“Day by day, Scarlet’s voice makes me deafer and deafer.” Brooke says as she takes a spoonful of porridge. The sisters, obviously bothered, watch from afar as a massive throng of students surround Scarlet as if she were a magnet. These crowds only grow larger and larger everyday and have no plans on stopping. 

“I’m her roommate— I don’t even know how I manage,” Yvie mentions as she pokes her fruit salad with her fork. “She is insufferable.” Yvie adds, watching Scarlet begin answering questions from her loyal fans.

Every lunch time, this would always happen. It’s only been five days and Yvie doesn’t know if she and Brooke could watch this happen for four years. Scarlet’s fans were borderlining disturbing as they faithfully follow her around like pets. They try their absolute damnest to win Scarlet’s praise but of course, Scarlet, being the person she is, makes it hard for her followers to gain it. That’s at least a bit admirable to Yvie because Scarlet was thankfully being true to everyone. Yvie can barely appreciate liars or fakers.

“And she also has Vanjie as her close friend, I couldn’t believe it,” Yvie mentions and she sees Brooke’s eyes widen in disbelief. 

“Vanjie? As in the Vanjie who Dad resents because when he first dropped by our school, she immediately shouted that he looked like an egg that shone brighter than the sun?” Brooke says with an enthusiastic smile. The corner of Yvie’s lips curve as well just remembering such a fond memory. 

“Yep.” Yvie replies and Brooke immediately scans through the crowd to find the rowdy brunette. She was eventually spotted when Scarlet’s fans shuffled around a bit and was seen sitting down quietly on one of the chairs. She clearly was exasperated by Scarlet’s fans, but keeps herself company by talking to Ra’jah and another person who Yvie assumes was Shuga.

“Wow, I didn’t expect her to be here.” Brooke says, looking a bit mesmerized, “How did she even pass the entrance exam?” Brooke asks and Yvie shrugs, unsure of it as well.

“Is the Mateo clan considered popular?” 

“No, not really, but I do recall something about her mom working here. Not sure about it, though,” Brooke says as the two still kept watching the brunette. It was a bit silent as Brooke seemed to smile longingly as she observes her. It was no secret that Brooke most likely was attracted to Vanjie in some form, since Yvie has been watching her rave over her since they were in elementary. Brooke would always complain that she could never get Vanjie in a class with her and was always envious Yvie spent most of her classes with Vanjie.

Eventually, at some point, the crowd separates a bit as Brooke and Yvie get a clear view of Vanjie. She was deadpanning, obviously bored by the obnoxious fans Scarlet had. Eventually, she also noticed Brooke staring at her and lightens up immediately. Brooke takes in a sharp inhale before she waves a small hello at the petite woman, hoping that Vanjie would join their table instead.

When Vanjie caught sight of Brooke’s wave, she almost jumped out of her seat. She seemed just as excited and eager to see Brooke as much as Brooke was seeing her. But just before Vanjie could hop tables, all eyes were suddenly on Vanjie, then to them. Brooke’s euphoria suddenly dies down as her anxiety takes control. She shrinks back as far as she can as she continues to finish her porridge, pretending that she doesn’t see the huge crowd in front of her.

Yvie purses her lips as she grabs her unused, wooden spoon and rapidly hurls it at the crowd. Instantly, some of them squeal and duck, wanting to avoid such a threatening and murderous weapon, but before it could even hit a certain person, Yvie uses her magic to stop it midway and returns the spoon back into her bowl. Yvie gives a proud smirk, feeds herself, then says, “What? Something in my teeth again?” Yvie says, licking her sharp teeth in front of everyone. With disgusted expressions, they face away and immediately flooded Scarlet with questions about Yvie.

“You, Yvie fucking Oddly, are horrible,” Brooke murmurs beside her, looking unimpressed, “I hate you,” Brooke adds, clearly angered. Yvie takes a sharp inhale as she realizes she acted out of impulse and pettiness again. When will she ever learn?

“Miss Envy, Miss Envy, you are just to good, how do you handle such a beast like her?” some stranger asks, catching Yvie’s attention. Yvie rolls her pupil-less eyes, too used to insults like this to be affected. But after that one insult, someone else followed, then someone else until everyone’s just throwing insults towards Yvie back and forth. Hearing people mock Yvie is nothing new but Yvie admits this can also be too… overwhelming. 

“Oh but Scarlet, you are such a martyr for being able to deal with her! I wish I could have your strength and endurance,” someone says and Yvie really contemplates throwing her spoon again without tricking them. Scarlet actually looks a bit bewildered by the statement but just accepts it with a radiant grin. 

With a giggle, Scarlet replies, “These things are meant to try us, I suppose.”

“Oh poor Scarlet, she’s forced to reside with someone— someone like her,” someone states as she glares at Yvie with a growl. Yvie wants to bark back but Brooke holds her back before she does. The insults begin piling in again and Yvie simply wants to drown them all out. She knew there were many aspects of her that were unlikeable but she didn’t really want to be reminded of it. 

“We just want to tell you that we’ll support you no matter what, Miss Envy!” someone says, “We’ll always be here for you!” they add and many people cheer in unison. Yvie could tell that Scarlet was reluctant as her lip quivered for a moment,  but she eventually pulled through with a fake smile and some bullshit speech which appeased many of her fans. Not so much of her friends, though; they look as exhausted as ever.

Thankfully, the loud bell outside has rang. Everyone began to disperse as they say their farewell statements to Scarlet. Scarlet, as fake as she can be, also responds back. Yvie doesn’t know how Scarlet manages to keep up that facade all day. For Yvie, it was extremely dizzying. At least she knew how to balance her time with friends and her time with her fanbase since it seemed like her friends really admired Scarlet even if they seemed sick of her fans.

“Do you think I should talk to Vanjie now that she’s free?” Brooke says out of the blue as she wheels towards the hallway. They had around ten minutes before their classes would start so Brooke had a chance to call for Vanjie’s attention before they leave the cafeteria. Yvie watches as Vanjie almost descends into their hallways. Yvie licks her lips as she nods, hoping Brooke would catch her before she left. 

Then, Brooke pauses, still not doing anything. Yvie realizes that Brooke’s anxiety was overtaking her again and is restraining her from reaching out to Vanjie, “Never mind, let’s just go.”

“Oh no, fuck that, I’m helping you out,” Yvie says as Brooke’s eyes widen in concern. 

“Yvie, Yvie, my Oz, don’t—”

Yvie, with a fast sprint, catches up to Scarlet and her friends and shouts “Boo!” loudly. Scarlet squeals like the pussy she is while the other three merely jump in surprise. The four stop their tracks as they all turn around to eye Yvie judgmentally (actually, Vanjie was more astounded) as Yvie chuckles dorkily.

Scarlet, being the most infuriated out of the four, slapped Yvie with the clutch bag she was carrying. She grunts as Yvie only grins in entertainment.

“What in the fuck, Oddly? Why do you keep doing this?” Scarlet asks, looking like she was contemplating murder.

“I think you forgot everything that happened during lunch time—oh wait, you’re the same person who couldn’t get into Madame Visage because of that half-assed essay! I shouldn’t be expecting much intelligence in that delusional head of yours, anyways.” Yvie responds quite mockingly, making Scarlet as excessively red as her hair. 

“Get to the point,” Scarlet demands.

“Well actually, I’m mostly here to talk to Vanjie,” Yvie mentions and Vanjie lights up again. Scarlet steps aside, looking like she’s a bit familiar with their friendship.

“Yes, I’m here, at your motherfucking service,” Vanjies says with a hair flip, “It’s a surprise to see your ass here— I didn’t even think that bitch of a father of yours would pay your tuition.” Vanjie mentions, her vibe as nonchalant as ever. Yvie’s glad that there’s someone else besides her sister who can see past the queerness of Yvie.

“Same, but I’m here, I made it,” Yvie says a bit triumphantly, “Also, not to end this conversation too early but my sister wants to talk to you,” Yvie says as she points to her sister who was nervously wheeling up to them but was a bit behind. Vanjie smiles even more when Yvie mentions Brooke as she swiftly and roughly pushes Yvie and Scarlet away to get to Brooke.

Brooke appeared to be very startled when Vanjie ran at her but seems to be okay once Vanjie inevitably gives her a heartwarming hug. 

“Wow, they’re cute—reminds me of our friendship, Scar,” Yvie says and Scarlet elbows her harshly in displeasure. “Ow—! Bitch, stop hurting me,” Yvie says and Scarlet merely rolls her eyes at her.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Scarlet says as she begins strutting away dramatically, “See you later, Oddly,” Scarlet says as she intertwines her arms with Shuga and Ra’jah and begin walking away, leaving Yvie alone with Brooke and Vanjie.

Then again, Brooke and Vanjie were too engrossed in their conversation to notice Yvie. So, Yvie leaves without them. She had a different class anyways and the two can manage without Yvie.

//

Yvie doesn’t regret choosing today of all days to drop the envelopes. The weather was warm but not hot enough to be unbearable and the protesters didn’t have anything planned on this day. There were only some traces of dropped protest signs and lots of shed Animal fur left in front of Shiz which can be a little bit… saddening. 

With the prejudice that Animals are experiencing today, Yvie would’ve gladly joined the protest if it weren’t for her studies getting in the way. After all, she could somewhat relate to the Animals with her being somewhat of a misfit as well. It was also very irritating that the university barely accepted any Animals to study along with them with the exception of one Ram who was accepted last year, one Lion who was one of their smartest professors, and many of the janitors being a mixed race of Animals.

As some people were cleaning up the streets before any vehicles passed through, Yvie took this opportunity to cross the street to reach the mailbox. On the other side of the street, there seemed to be two people surrounding the mailbox already. Yvie squints; she recognizes those two. One of them says a joke and the other one cackles loudly— now she really recognizes them.

“Vanjie!” Yvie yells and approaches them. She didn’t really call out Ra’jah’s name just because they aren’t too familiar with one another. With Ra’jah being Scarlet’s girlfriend, Yvie thinks she most likely dislikes Yvie just like Scarlet does.

“Yvie! What’cha doing here?” Vanjie says, her tone as energetic as ever. 

“Dropping some mail, duh,” Yvie says as she waves the two envelopes in the air, “The red one is Scarlet’s, obviously. Don’t know why she asked me to do it especially seeing that you two are here.” Yvie adds as she finally reaches the mailbox. She immediately drops it inside but stays for a few to converse. “Why’re you two here? I thought that your mom lives here,”

“Yea, she does, but my sisters still live with my dad back in the farm so I gotta write them something,” Vanjie says, “And Miss O’Hara’s here because of some princess bullshit, I don’t know,”

“You’re a princess?” Yvie asks curiously.

“Well, yea, but I never refer to myself with that title. There’s no other Winkie at Shiz so everyone would probably think I’m crazy if I say that I am,” Ra’jah says. She’s much more polite than what Yvie expected her to be. “But I’m not doing any princess bullshit, I’m just writing something for my parents, just the normal stuff. What about you? I thought you hate your dad?”

“Duh, of course I do, but I have to give him weekly reports on Brooke just because it wasn’t enough that she was writing him letters,” Yvie says as she begins to lean on the mailbox.

“Your dad’s such a pain in the ass,” Vanjie states nonchalantly as if she’s said it many times before, “You know how hard it was for me to sneak Brooke and her fucking wheelchair out of her room just so we can hangout back then? I had to fucking drop Brooke so I can grab her wheelchair.” Vanjie says and Yvie laughs dorkily, recalling the memory as well.

“Then there was a time where you couldn’t steal the wheelchair so you just had to carry her the whole time?” 

“Yes! Oh my fucking Oz, yes! I was exhausted that day, bitch. Those tangled legs are heavy as fuck,” Vanjie exclaims and the other two laugh again, amused by her storytelling. “Anyways, I need to head back to class in around fifteen minutes before Professor Del Rio my pounds my ass for being late again,” Vanjie says.

“I have Miss West so—wait, don’t you share that class with me, Oddly?” Ra’jah asks and Yvie nods. “You should come with us then since we’re technically heading to the same place,”

“I—you… want me to go with you?” Yvie asks in disbelief. 

“Yea, I mean, if you want to.” Ra’jah says and Yvie thinks how weird it is for her to not be judgmental towards Yvie at all. 

With furrowed eyebrows, Yvie says, “I thought you disliked me?”

“What? No!” Ra’jah says, looking shocked, “Scarlet says some stuff to me and, of course, I love her, but she lives in her own world— I can’t believe everything she says. Plus, I do know a thing or two about being a misfit like you,” Ra’jah says and points to some small and numerous gemstones that are glued to her cheek. If Yvie remembered correctly, it had something to do with Winkie royalty, and it absolutely looks gorgeous. “People say they look like acne or think it’s some sort of disease which is… kinda awful but hey, I don’t really care.”

“I think they look fantastic,” Yvie says, observing the gems closer.

“Thanks but girl, from afar, they look like someone splattered white paint on me,” Ra’jah says, “But really, I don’t hate you. You can be blunt sometimes but I get where you’re coming from. Vanjie tells me you’re nice anyways and I believe her more than whatever Scarlet’s fanbase has been saying.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of them.” Yvie says, “Such bastards.”

“And dumb as fuck,” Vanjie adds, very peeved, “It’s always so claustrophobic too. I just wanna be… free, ya know? I hate how they feel like they have control over me just ‘cause I ain’t Scarlet,” Vanjie vents and Yvie hears a hum of agreement from Ra’jah.

“If we have Shuga here, we can make our own “Oppressed by Scarlet’s Fanbase Club”.” Ra’jah says and the three laugh, “Okay, y’know what, we should probably get going.” 

“Yea, we’ve been hanging out with this mailbox for too long.” Yvie says and on cue, they get going, and head to their designated classrooms.

//

At some point, they had to leave Vanjie in the hallway, but it wasn’t a long walk from Vanjie’s classroom to Ra’jah and Yvie’s. Eventually, they made it on time— even if they were the last ones who arrived at the classroom. Yvie could feel judgmental eyes land on her when people saw her entering with Ra’jah.  Thankfully, the stares die down when Ra’jah begins to hangout with Scarlet. That’s one benefit of Scarlet’s popularity, Yvie supposes.

Then, because of how last minute Yvie and Ra’jah arrived, their professor walked in immediately when Yvie sat down. Their professor mostly taught social studies and the history of Oz, which Yvie thought was quite interesting. Their teacher’s passion for the subject also made their classes less boring and more enjoyable.

“Good morning, class, everyone’s looking very chipper as always,” Their teacher, Miss West, spoke with a smile. She was always like this, very bubbly and optimistic towards everyone. She was a favorite amongst many students but was equally hated by some because of her appearance. Miss West was the only Animal faculty member of their school (with her being a Lion) excluding the janitors and she was often targeted by many of the school’s rowdier students. 

“Okay so, I’ve read all of your essays by this morning and I have to say I’m impressed by the progress so far!” Miss West says as she heads to the center of the class, placing all of her papers down, “Most of it is astounding but I have to mention that some of you—especially you, Miss Envy—have focused on form over content which I highly discourage.” she adds and Yvie smirks to herself. Yvie had read Scarlet’s essay the other day when she asked her to proofread it and Yvie said the exact same thing. Of course, Scarlet would never listen, but at least Miss West was calling her out now.

“Our other professors don’t seem to have a problem with it,” Scarlet bites back, putting her chin on her palm while her elbow is on the table. She was clearly unfazed by Miss West and her obliviousness always makes Yvie annoyed.

“Maybe Miss West isn’t like the other professors,” Yvie retorts and Scarlet, alongside her fans, all give Yvie a sharp look.

“Ooh, the gremlin is pressed,” Scarlet sneers which evoked some muffled giggles. Yvie merely looks away from Scarlet and pays her full attention to Miss West.

“Class, calm down— Miss Yvie does have a point. As you know, I’m the sole Animal of this faculty, but it wasn’t always this way.” Miss West says with a bittersweet expression, “Back then, I remembered when you walked down the hall, you’d see an Antelope explicating a sonnet—or, or a Snow Leopard solving a mathematical equation! Don’t you see, dear students, that Oz is becoming less and less… colorful?” Nina says and eyes Yvie for a second. Everyone else just seemed exasperated that Miss West was possibly going to ramble the same thing over and over again. “This leads me to my first question— who can tell me what sent these events in motion?”

Yvie raises a hand, “From what I’ve heard, it all started with the great drought,” Yvie says, remembering what she’d studied last night.

Miss West look impressed and nodded, “Exactly! Food grew scarce, people were angry because of the famine, and then the question became, “Whom can we blame?” Can anyone tell me what the term ‘Scapegoat’ means?”

Once Miss West threw in another question, Yvie took another opportunity to raise her hand again. Everyone simply rolled their eyes at Yvie, causing Miss West to give out a tired sigh. “Does anyone besides Miss Yvie have an answer?” Miss West asks, prompting Yvie to lower her hand. Surprisingly, Scarlet raised hers, “Ah, yes Miss Scar—“

“I don’t see why you can’t just teach us history instead of always harping on the past.” Scarlet answers disrespectfully. This caused some murmurs of agreement but Miss West, with an unsteady stature, shushes everyone before it gets too chaotic.

“Well—“ Miss West says awkwardly, “Perhaps these questions will enlighten you,” She says as she approaches their chalkboard and turns it over. The room grew eerily silent as they all gaze at what is written on the chalkboard with fright. Instead of the questions being displayed, there was something more… offensive written on the board. In bright, red chalk and big letters, the board read: ‘ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD’. 

Yvie becomes infuriated. She turns to look at all her classmates to spot whoever could do such a horrible act. But to her surprise, everyone seemed shocked—even Scarlet looked bothered. After a few more seconds of confusion and worry, Miss West eventually speaks up, “Who’s responsible for this?” she says, her voice the softest it has ever been. “I—students, this may seem, uhm, a little sudden but I’m going to dismiss the class early. Just for now.” the students all didn’t seem to process what she said but Miss West speaks again, “You heard me— class dismissed!” 

Everyone besides Yvie obliged, standing up and heading out swiftly. They all seemed equally as troubled as they were glad they got a free period today. Yvie, on the other hand, was immensely concerned for Miss West to leave this early. She was pacing around the same area as her eyes were fixated on the message written on the board.

“Animals should be seen and not heard…?” Yvie reads the message as she stands, grabbing her handbag from the side. Miss West jolted and looked back, unaware of Yvie’s presence.

“Oh, it’s just you, Miss Yvie…” she says, her voice shaky, “Don’t worry about me, go ahead and enjoy this free period with your friends.”

Yvie snorts, “Friends? That’s funny— I don’t have any.” Yvie replies and Nina raises an eyebrow, “Okay, I do have about three but they’re probably spending their time with Scarlet.”

“Oh, I guess you don’t want to enter that territory,” Miss West replies and they both laugh. Yvie opens her bag and grabs the two sandwiches she made this morning. One was supposed to be for Brooke but Yvie knows she could always just get the same thing she gets from the cafeteria. 

“Here,” Yvie approaches Miss West and sits on her table, “Since you look so down in the dumps,” Yvie hands her the neatly wrapped sandwich and Miss West gladly accepts it.

“Oh, thank you kindly,” Miss West replies and eats the sandwich in one go, swallowing the entire thing. Yvie laughs as she merely takes one bite of her sandwich.

“Y’know, words like these shouldn’t bother you— I mean, insults would forever bother me but I know how to snap back—but that’s beside the point. What I mean is that this was probably written by some asshole and you shouldn’t listen to them.” Yvie says, her words not so eloquent as she wanted them to be, but Miss West appreciates it anyways.

“Yes, of course but…” Miss West grabs the washcloth from one of the table’s drawers, “But have you heard of what’s going on in Oz recently? Such—such dreadful things,” Miss West says and shudders as she looks at the words one more time before erasing it.

“What things?” Yvie asks, eyes narrowing.

“The last Animal professor from Quox has been fired.”

“Professor Heart? The one who teaches literature?”

“Yes, her! And—and not only that but she lost all powers of speech. She… she can’t talk anymore.” Miss West states, clearly terrified, “And I’m sure you know Asia O’Hara, the Owl who’s the head of Munchkinland’s Air Mail service?”

“Has she…?”

“Yes, she can’t talk either. Well, that’s what I hear from the rumors…” Miss West says then pauses as she appears crestfallen, “But I don’t know, the rallies get smaller and smaller and I can’t help but—“ Miss West coughs then coughs even more to the point a growl escapes her lips. Yvie slightly tenses as she comes close to rub Miss West’s back in comfort.

“Miss West, are you feeling sick? Do you want me to fetch a glass of water?” Yvie asks but Miss West refuses, shaking her head.

“No, no need to but thanks, Miss Yvie. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Do you think that, uhm… some Animals are forgetting how to speak? How is that even possible?”

“I— I don’t know.” Miss West replies. Just as she does, there was a knock at the door. Without hesitation, the person walks in with a stern expression on their face. Yvie and Miss West both look at the person, Yvie distancing herself from Miss West a bit.

“I heard there was some sort of disturbance in class, what’s going on?” Madame Visage asks, “And Yvie, since you have nothing going on, I’ve decided to give you a bonus class on sorcery. I’m expecting you to be on your way in around five minutes.”

Yvie didn’t complain about the extra class; solo classes with Madame Visage were always fun. “Yes, of course,” Yvie replies, finishing the last bite of her sandwich before slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

“I’ll talk to you, Miss West, later,” Madame Visage says before exiting again. Miss West simply sighs as she nudges Yvie with a smile.

“You better go,”

“How about you?”

“I’ll be fine, Miss Yvie.” Miss West says reassuringly.

Yvie sighs but gives her a smile as well, “If something bad is actually happening, someone must’ve reported it to the Wizard already. That’s why we have the Wizard, right?”

“You’re—you’re right, Miss Yvie. Nothing truly bad would ever happen in Oz.” Miss West says, feeling slightly calmer than a while ago, “Thank you, Miss Yvie. You better get going before Madame Visage throws a fit.”

“Oh, I’m used to it, don’t worry.” Yvie says and Miss West chuckles, “See you tomorrow, Miss West.”

“See you too, Miss Yvie.”

 footnotes: - scarlet’s parents are inspired by glinda’s parents… except i used ama clutch as the other parent so scarlet would have two momsies. - the events of this fic span from the song what is this feeling to something bad. some lines are taken from the original script, some were revised so it would not be exactly the same. - ah yes, vanjie is boq in this fic. shuga is there because… shuga. i think she’s meant to be either shen shen or pfanee, i dunno. - the reason why they haven’t seen vanjie in a week is that the scarlet’s crowds always cover her up in some way. i know it doesn’t seem logical but just stick with me, lmao. - unlike boq and nessa, brooke and vanjie have met before. boq is originally from munchkinland and i wanted vanjie to have the same thing but a little bit tweaked. just know that brooke, vanjie, and yvie have some history with each other. - if i remember correctly, there is only one animal studying in shiz in the book. in this fic, i made it kahanna. animals are basically the mistreated race of oz so yea, there’s that. - okay, so i don’t remember every detail of the book but i do remember something about fiyero having some sort of gems on his face? not sure. since he is a prince, i made ra'jah a princess (how fancy). - nina west is miss west, by the way, and is a lion. i don’t know how you wanna imagine how the animals look but i just think of them as animals but they walk like humans.

[bluebuzzmusic]

The Top EDM DJ Beefs Of The Decade

Before 2010, DJs were just faceless disc-jockeys on a dark stage to the world at large. Then, producers started booking international tours, dating celebrities, collaborating with major pop artists, and making a name for themselves at festivals with more production than some of the biggest rock bands of the generation. With more notoriety for themselves, it eventually came to pass that these DJs’ personalities would clash, and what better platform than Twitter, where everything is public.

Some of dance music’s most outspoken DJs have been involved in some of the greatest beefs of the decade, and sometimes it even extended outside of our own bubble. In this list, we’ll remind you of some of the greatest beefs of the decade, some that absolutely rocked the EDM world and others that just have those of us watching a hearty laugh.

Diplo vs Zedd

It’s hard to say when this beef really started, but there have been many milestones along the way to help illuminate the path. The easiest place to start is the release of Zedd’s sophomore album, True Colors, which Diplo gave the poop emoji on Twitter. In a later interview with Radio.com, he tried to backtrack but only really made things worse when he called Zedd’s relationship with Selena Gomez a PR stunt for the album. His criticism even bore a response from Gomez herself, who said, “It’s very interesting that Diplo would think he knew about my personal life, but he doesn’t. I adore Anton [Zedd] a lot and I definitely had a thing with him, which was nice.”

Diplo continued the beef the next year by doing the same thing to Zedd’s collab with Aloe Blacc, “Candyman,” that he did for True Colors: give it the poop emoji. This time, Zedd came back with a vengeance and replied, “@diplo stop being a jealous little bitch and do us all a favor and just shut the fuck up. Thank you.”

It would be another two years before the two clashed again, this time Zedd was the one to instigate (via Max Vangeli). During Vangeli’s breakdown in 2018, he called Diplo “the biggest pussy dick in the game,” to which Zedd responded, “100% truth.”

After Billboard and everyone else covered the reignited beef, Diplo dropped a link to the coverage and added, “Come on @billboard I need some spicier beef I already put this guy in a coffin two years ago when he made a song with a Walgreens or a tampon company or whatever it was.”

In fact, Matthew Koma responded to Diplo and said, “I’ll feature.” At the time, we had no idea what to make of that comment, but little did we know it would foreshadow Zedd’s next big beef.

Matthew Koma vs Zedd

Almost exactly one year later, on the seventh anniversary of the song “Spectrum” from Zedd and Matthew Koma, the singer decided enough was enough and told his side of the story.

“I want to finally be transparent about this,” Koma began. “It’s a really sad truth because I’m extremely proud of the work he and I did together… unfortunately my good feelings toward those songs have all but disappeared as they were experienced alongside someone so toxic and self serving that it occupied the space where any happiness could exist.”

No one ever expected this beef, even with the hints he was dropping a year prior.

Zedd eventually told his side of the story four days later, and this beef has mostly fizzled on social media, but some fans still give Zedd grief over it in the comments on Instagram or Twitter.

The Chainsmokers vs everyone

This one is less actual beef and more a dog pile, but it’s worth mentioning nonetheless. Before The Chainsmokers were the chart-topping trio that are filling out stadiums around the world, they were just the frat DJs that liked to have fun. When they made “#SELFIE” in 2013, no one could have predicted the trajectory it would eventually put them on.

That even includes one horribly mistaken press opportunity when the duo came on American Idol to perform the song “live.” And though it didn’t have anything to do with them directly, that weekend on SNL, Andy Samberg unveiled the infamous DJ Davincii sketch and seriously went after DJs’ cred. It wasn’t a good week for EDM.

After The Chainsmokers’ performance on American Idol, pretty much everyone like Victor Niglio, Laidback Luke, and Deadmau5, even Porter Robinson piled on and gave their two cents. No doubt this was a day that will live in infamy for the dance music community.

Deadmau5 vs Marshmello

This was definitely one of the more entertaining beefs to happen during a lot of our staff’s time as junior bloggers. Deadmau5 was at his most inflammatory on social media, and Marshmello was just beginning to really blow up after launching the project a year prior. The Marshmello project itself was a brilliant combination of marketing and unique sound that catapulted the DJ to the DJ Mag Top 10 in a matter of just four years, but it wasn’t met without its fair share of derision early on.

The beef started at Ultra in 2016 when Marshmello apparently tried to say hi to Joel, “I tried saying hi to @deadmau5 at @ultra because I think he is one of the greats but he just flipped me off and walked away lol.” At the time, Deadmau5 didn’t respond — which was a bit uncharacteristic at the time — but sure enough, a couple weeks later…

In the middle of the Great Deadmau5 Tweets Of 2016, his acrostic rampage across EDM, deadmau5 also dropped some history. “fucking last ultra i went to i had that marshmellow dickhead following me around with a buncha cameras trying to get a rise outta me,” he tweeted. “for real… full costume and everything, walking around the dressing room yacht… i just flipped em off and hid somewhere else.

“then he immediatley proceeds to his twitter to tell everyone i flipped him off. Maybe act like a normal human fucking being. i dont know.”

Two months later, Marshmello tweeted at Deadmau5 asking whether or not he would play basketball with him. What seemed like an innocuous tweet without context really seemed more like a sort of kindergarten “I’m not touching you” tease with the previous events in mind. In response, Zimmerman criticized Marshmello’s “winning formula” of putting a bucket on his head and publicly mentioning Deadmau5 every week, and also “outed” him as Dotcom back when Mello’s true identity was still something of a minor mystery.

After calling him “annoying,” Deadmau5 went on to call out his “brain-dead posse of deaf sheep.”

The two would trade a couple more beefs before the year ended. Marshmello inserted a deadmau5 “cameo” in his music video for “Ritual” with Wrabel, and Deadmau5 showed off a Christmas present, a shirt of the Stay Puff guy from Ghostbusters, in between two graham crackers, with his head fallen off. Deadmau5′ caption “No comment” said enough.

Hardwell, Kaskade vs DJ Mag Top 100

After the Top 100 list came out in 2016, Hardwell went on an epic rant at the Revealed Records label party. He was speaking out in defense of his friend Atmozfears, and is especially humble in the rant, saying that Atmozfears is easily a better producer than him.

The year before, Kaskade called out the annual poll, as well. And in that case, a DJ Mag writer chose to retaliate by editing his bio on the poll in a way that was highly unprofessional. Nowadays, the DJ Mag Top 100 seems more like a formality than a list you want to find yourself on. Though, it’s always good practice to thank the fans who voted for you, because they really do care.

Calvin Harris vs Dubstep

At the beginning of this year, Calvin Harris found himself against the entirety of the dubstep community after calling TenGraphs’ music “nazi headbanger music.” At the time, the comment was conflated to mean all of dubstep, but Harris clarified his meaning later that day, “Hi I didn’t say dubstep was shit I was addressing one abusive guy NOT an entire genre thanks.”

Not that it makes what he originally said any better.

That who beef was actually started by Apashe who called Calvin out for allegedly ripping elements of his “Majesty” music video for his own “Giant” video with Rag’n’bone Man. That issue was never really resolved, but Calvin still has a bad rep in the dubstep community to this day.

Afrojack vs Eminem

This is one of the earliest beefs in EDM, and also one of the more nonsensical ones. After Eminem’s performance at the MTV EMAs in 2013, Ron Burgundy, aka Will Ferrell, asked the rapper his opinion of Afrojack supposedly talking shit about him. Eminem responded by asking, “who?,” a diss to the famous Dutch producer. When asked a second time, Eminem continued to feign ignorance of Afrojack’s identity.

Afrojack’s social media pages were littered with people commenting “who!”, and he even got in on the joke himself event. For all our searching, we still can’t find what shit Afrojack was apparently talking.

Skrillex vs Deadmau5

Deadmau5 was one of the first people to give Skrillex a chance, after he was handed a USB drive from the fledgling producer at a HARD event containing Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Unfortunately, the relationship eventually soured as Skrillex found his own success with OWSLA and a more positive community, at odds with deadmau5’s generally caustic persona on social media.

Skrillex and Deadmau5 had a lot to say about each other back in 2015, more than can be effectively summarized in just a paragraph or two. Go here to read the full exchange.

This article was first published on Your EDM. Source: The Top EDM DJ Beefs Of The Decade

source https://www.youredm.com/2019/12/18/the-top-edm-dj-beefs-of-the-decade/

[horrorhousereview]

Carrie Franchise

Carrie, the heart warming tale of a high school girl who sets the world on fire with her mind. I knew little else about the original film, nor that it had a sequel and been remade twice. While the original movie proved to be better than I'd have imagined, attempts to recapture the essence of the 1976 version have sadly fallen flat.

1. Carrie (1976)

When I sat down to the original Carrie, my expectations were moderate. I knew that the movie was famous, and that the protagonist could set things on fire with her mind, but really nothing else. It sounded interesting but not earth shattering. I had no idea the wild ride the movie was about to take me on.

The opening scene, in classic seventies style, was a soft core porn in a high school girls locker room as they showered. The porn gave me whiplash when Carrie suddenly got her first period, and instead of handling it like a normal person screamed for help and grasped onto her teammates with bloody hands in a panic. The girls teased her in a sequence that can only make sense in movies, not real life, shouting for her to "plug it up" and pelting her with tampons and pads as she screamed and cried in a corner. Apparently, Carrie had literally never heard about how periods work before. This is attributed to her crazy, fundamentalist mother, but I would also like to raise questions about the state of sex ed. in schools in the seventies. I wasn't expecting much, but did they really not even go over reproductive organs for five minutes? Incredible.

The bulk of the movie is a slow burn wherein we follow Carrie, a girl who is relentlessly bullied by her peers. Not only that, but she is actually a little weird, due to her fundamentalist Christian mother who abuses her at home. Her mother says such gems as that Carrie wouldn't have gotten her period if she hadn't had sex, and that it was God's punishment. She then proceeded to lock her in a closet for several hours, telling Carrie to pray. Carrie's mother makes all of their clothes, and doesn't allow electric lights in the household, just to give the very briefest depiction of how weird it is there.

Through the movie we see that the gym teacher, and then a few others actually try to do right by Carrie. A boy asks her to the prom. They try to turn Carrie's sad life around.

Meanwhile, the head bitch of the school plots revenge on Carrie, whom she blames for her own teenaged angst. She's a terrible person.

Right in the last stretch of movie, Carrie wins the title of prom queen. Her dreams are coming true. Then the head bitch douses her in pigs blood, and a few people laugh, and Carrie totally snaps and kills everyone with her mind, including those who had tried to do right. She goes home, and her mother who believed she was possessed by the devil tries to kill her, but Carrie in turn kills her mother. The sole survivor of the night continues to have nightmares of Carrie attacking her from the grave, and it isn't clear to me whether that's delusion caused by trauma or whether Carrie continued to haunt even her from the beyond.

What a wild ride. I didn't see the ending coming at all, and the shock and chaos of it very much reminded me of Friday the 13th, and The Birds. To add to that, I'm still not certain who the true villain of the movie is. Carrie? Her mother? Her terrible classmates? All of them? None? And did Carrie's mother create her through the abuse, or was Carrie truly possessed by the devil the entire time? Her retribution, after all, was more than a bit excessive.

I enjoyed Carrie far more than I had expected to.

Final rating? 8/10

2. The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

When I started Carrie 2, I was curious how they'd go about a sequel. Carrie had died at the end of the first film. Would this be a sort of prequel to her life? Would she be a ghost? Would they find a way to resurrect her, as they did Jason Voorhees so many times? In fact, it was none of these. The story follows Rachel, Carrie's half sister. Apparently their father has a telekinesis gene that was passed on to both of them, because that makes sense.

We start the movie when Rachel is a little girl. She has a religious nutter mother, just like Carrie, who is trying to banish the devil from her, because she can move things with her mind. The mother gets taken away to a psych ward and is diagnosed with schizophrenia. Is she schizophrenic? Or justified? Perhaps both.

Rachel lives with terrible foster parents, and like Carrie is unpopular. Unlike in Carrie, however, the school atmosphere is completely unrealistic. There's absolute chaos, someone running around with a supersoaker, another guy filming girls' boobs. The cheerleaders are practicing on the school lawn before school starts. I'm always astounded by how unrealistic high school is depicted in some movies and shows, considering that the writers probably attended one.

Also unlike Carrie, Rachel isn't the single social pariah of the entire school. She's just one of many unpopular students, and even has an unpopular best friend. The friend sleeps with a jock (the eldest son from Home Improvement, weirdly), and then when he casts her aside she kills herself by jumping off the roof. This, I guess, is the catalyst for Rachel's telekinesis to start spiraling out of control.

One of the teachers at the school is the sole survivor from the Carrie incident twenty years ago. She wants to help Rachel before it's too late, but that never gains any traction. She also wants to sue Home Improvement boy for statutory rape, and while he and his friends are thoroughly disgusting that felt like a bit of a stretch to me. As a result, the jocks rally against Rachel, all except for Good Jock. Rachel and Good Jock start dating, and Good Jock temporarily friend-divorces the other jocks.

The story culminates in Rachel thinking that Good Jock used her due to the influence of his friends, and she has her Carrie moment where she tries to set everyone and everything on fire. Until this point the echoes of Carrie in Carrie 2 were stupid but boring. The carbon copy ending pushed the film into the realm of terrible.

In addition to the same end scene, they even had the original Carrie mother's voice repeating "they're all going to laugh at you" in the background of Rachel's mind, just as from the original Carrie ending. Why? How? What was it supposed to imply? As if that didn't ruin the scene enough, there was a hilariously bad performance of violent acts -- such as mentally flung CDs acting as shurikens. And Rachel's heart tattoo began to beat, and the barbed wire of it spread to mark her entire body. Again, why? How?

I finished this movie wondering why they'd bothered to make it at all, and also wondering how they failed so spectacularly in capturing whatever magic it was that had made Carrie so fantastic, while simultaneously copying as much from the original movie as possible.

Final rating: 3/10

3. Carrie (2002 made for TV film)

Like all good movies, it was perhaps inevitable that someone would do a remake of Carrie. I was skeptical of the 2002 made for TV movie, but I wanted so much for it to offer something unique. Some remakes actually do have artistic vision behind them. Unfortunately, it was as terrible as one might expect.

The main point to the remake, so far as I can tell, was to update Carrie to take place in a more modern setting. But what exactly was unrelatable about the 1976 film? The lack of sex education is the only real flaw so far as I could tell, and to be fair, the 2002 film does address it. Carrie opts out of sex ed. with a religious exemption. But she also lives in the world of the internet, and uses the web to research her secret powers instead of the library. Yet even with apparently websites helping her to learn them, no one else knows about telekinesis or believes what happened in the end. The modern setting, in my opinion, only built more plot holes rather than filling them in.

In Carrie 2002, the method of story telling is also different. We start off at a police station, after the main events of the film, as detectives interview students and teachers and try to piece together what had happened. I'm not sure what the point of the investigative narrative is, and in fact it threw me. In my experience, the point of having such a perspective is so that each time we're actually inside of the movie, the events we see are only told from the limited point of view of whoever is being interviewed. But that isn't so in Carrie 2002, because we frequently have perspectives from Carrie, who isn't interviewed at all, nor is she seen from the perspective of any of the interviewees.  As such, the investigative angle is a weakness, not a strength.

Like Carrie 2, Carrie 2002 features a somewhat unbelievable vision of high school. Every detail, to me at least, is not quite sold. In fact, "not quite" is the theme of the movie, as every key aspect of the original film seems diminished.

Carrie's mother is abusive, but not very. She's religious, but not nearly as much so. The girls at Carrie's school are mean to her, but only to a point. The head orchestrator of Carrie's torments is almost shy in comparison to her original counterpart, and has to be goaded on by the advice of her sociopathic boyfriend. It's quite the departure from the sociopathic girl of the original movie with the whipped boyfriend following in tow.

The gym teacher does care, but she doesn't care nearly as much. The kind boy who takes Carrie to prom seems nice enough, but mostly seems to take Carrie because of his girlfriend's wishes. In the original, there was at least some foreshadowing of his kindness when he spoke up for her slightly in class.

Even the final scene of the movie felt lesser. At points it almost felt goofy, and like Carrie 2, Carrie 2002's final scene felt over the top. She kept going well after the school was destroyed, and proclaimed not to have remembered what happened when she reached home. While Original Carrie seemed to be in shock, Remake Carrie seemed to instead be purely evil, all nuance lost. Rather than the knife battle with the mother, the mother tried to drown her, and Carrie's over-the-top powers manifested again in an ability to visualize and control the mother's heartbeat in her chest.

The coup de grace as far as terrible decisions in the remake is that Carrie actually lived in the end. Sue, the girl who'd gone out of her way to help Carrie get a date to prom, showed up for some reason at Carrie's house after the massacre, and found her drowned but resuscitated her. She helped Carrie escape to a new life in Florida and didn't tell the truth to the cops. Why? I have no earthly idea. I suppose that she felt sorry for Carrie, but with the luke-warm mother and the brick-to-the-face storytelling, this film failed to manifest any of the conflicting feelings in me as the original. A final shot of Carrie shows that she's still haunted by visions of her mother and of the head mean girl, but they seem to be PTSD with no possibility of a haunting. It's a sad, pale shadow of the Carrie-haunting of Sue at the end of the original.

In the end, I'm not really sure why they felt a need to remake Carrie in 2002. Or if they really felt they must, then I fail to see the artistic vision. In any good remake, there should be some element offered that is uniquely its own. In this case, the writers failed to deliver.

Final rating? 3/10

4. Carrie (2013)

Once again, they decided to remake Carrie. Would it be as creative as the original? Unfortunately not. Instead, they made many of the same mistakes that they had in 2002.

Like the 2002 movie, Carrie 2013 is set in modern times. They give the students the internet and cell phones to make things seem more current, then randomly put Carrie in pool volley ball because somehow that's more relatable than the volleyball of the original movie. Throughout this adventure I've wondered why they've felt the need to change the sport, and am always curious to see which one it will be next. First volley ball, then softball, now the pool.

The first major misstep of this film, right off the bat, is that Carrie is incredibly conventionally attractive. No one can beat the sort of awkward and strange look of the original actress, although the casting in 2002 wasn't too bad. But in 2013, for some reason we get a completely normal, or even above average looking girl who can have no makeover on prom night, as she already looks amazing. Not only is the aesthetic off, but she fails to deliver the awkward mannerisms that go hand in hand with the character of Carrie.

Next, we come to the iconic opening scene, which as in the 2002 remake remained mostly intact. However, in Carrie 2002 the only truly redeemable thing was that Carrie's lack of sexual education had been explained by a religious exemption. For some reason, in 2013, we no longer have any excuse or idea how she has no idea what a period is. In the modern day setting, this is all the more difficult to swallow.

The writers seemed to want to correct a few of the 2002 mistakes: the head bad girl was more cacklingly evil, the good jock was once again good in his own right and had a little foreshadowing. But they kept some of the mistakes as well -- the bad girl's boyfriend being a criminal, and most notably Carrie's overpowered telekinesis. In 2013, it's probably more overt than ever before, as Carrie deliberately practices floating books around her, though perhaps it's not as spectacular as the random meteorites striking inexplicably in either Carrie 2 or 2002, I can't remember which.

Much like in its 2002 predecessor, Carrie 2013's mother has been reduced. She's not nearly so abusive as the original 1976 mother, instead turning much of her abuse inward, as she's seen slapping herself, and banging her head against a wall. She's also not as extreme in her rejection of electricity as in 1976. All of this -- the more pathetic mother, the stronger Carrie, serve to lose all the nuance of the original film. I'm not left thinking that everyone -- the school bullies, Carrie, and her mother -- are terrible. Instead, it read a bit like a '90s slasher film in the end scene, as Carrie spread her arms into the air like a caricature of a witch while she mentally flung things to and fro. Gone was the echo of the mother's voice in her head, and instead it was a rather boring scene, with none of the detached horror that I've come to associate with Carrie.

In fact, when Carrie arrived home after the devastation, she was visibly upset, bursting into tears and calling for her mother. That's a far cry from the original Carrie that had arrived at her home in a kind of stupor, washing herself methodically as if in shock or perhaps still possessed.

One improvement over the 2002 film was that they did kill Carrie as in the original. But one misstep? They still needed Sue Snell to make a final appearance in the final destruction. To what purpose? So that Carrie could tell her with preternatural ability, that she was pregnant. Why add this to Carrie's powers? Why have this scene at all? And instead of Carrie simply haunting Sue's thoughts as in the 1976 original, now she seems to be possibly, somehow, haunting Sue's baby. It's a ridiculous decision and I have no idea why they made it.

Final rating? 2/10

[show-me-the-cats-blog]

There's a lot of burnout in this industry

"There's a lot of burnout in this industry," Domino tells me over the phone from one of the three houses she owns in Wisconsin — one of them a lakefront property outside of Madison. She says it with a serious voice that sounds a little tired.Yes, they work even when they have their periods. This model says she fortunately has "the world's shortest, lightest periods" so she just chooses to do shows that don't require her to remove her underwear while wearing a tampon and then occasionally takes a day off if she feels like it. Makes sense.An anonymous webcam model did a Reddit AMA where users asked her every question you've ever wished you could ask a webcam girl (and others you probably wouldn't think to ask ever). Here are the most surprising answers. Another cam girl named Tegan gets paid $5 per minute to be naked online and currently makes about $60,000 a year while studying full time.

What I found out was a self discovery as much as a way of ‘sticking it’ to my friend. It was something I had always known, deep down, but perhaps had never quite put words to, as I had never felt that it had come into question. And here it is: When I am working, I am portraying a sexual stereotype, but how I am using that stereotype is a point of difference. When I am working, I am consciously becoming that stereotype and so I, in a sense, own it. I am taking it from the man, because yes, he created it, but when I dance, I have the power. I am subverting and I am reclaiming that stereotype for my own personal and financial gain.When I first left university, I went freelance straight away and didn’t quite realise how hard it was to get regular work. I moved in with a friend who webcammed and I was like ‘Oh that sounds like something I’d love to do!’ I already had a sex blog and I was already posting nudes of myself and I absolutely loved it, but webcamming was a bit more of a jump. There’s still this mad taboo around it, that you’re selling your body for sex, but it’s not exactly like that. You can do whatever you like on webcam. Most of the time you’re just talking and keeping people company.”"It's psychologically damaging to stay 12 hours in an office getting paid a minimum wage," she says."That or exotic places," says Andrea. "This is not only a sex business as some people think - models have to speak with a member as if they are in a normal, online relationship. Being able to discuss many subjects brings comfort to both parties."

But some women are not free to make the choices Lana has. Oana, 28, counts herself as an escapee from the sex industry. At 16 - a minor - she fell in love with a boyfriend who persuaded her to do video chat.A lot of what we see in the media doesn't help either. People have this idea [about] the type of person who does webcamming, where they're either not good enough for porn or they're too lazy to find a real job, and that's all bullshit. Unfortunately there's a lot of girls who do turn to webcamming for the wrong reasons, especially when it comes to money, and a lot of people feel guilty for doing it. But we sell our souls for money all the time, why not our body? Why wouldn't you have a bit of sexual fun at the same time?Three young women have revealed what it is like working as a 'camgirl', taking their clothes off in front of a camera and performing sex acts for strangers online.Odds are, you're referred by a newspaper or website listing. Maybe a friend suggested you try it out. Maybe you're shifting from traditional strip club work to the online equivalent — a popular trend in wealthier countries. Maybe you're working in a brothel where web camming is just another expectation. Whatever the case, you'll have to stream yourself through a web cam portal, one of the massive sites that catalogues thousands of models and acts as a go-between between customer and model. CONTINUED BELOW...

[kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog]

If the V3 cast were to play Monster Prom, who would each character go for?

This is like, my third time trying to write this? I don’t know why it’s taken so many tries; it probably just has to do with getting cut off in the middle of the thought I was on. This may go a little more in depth then you thought it would, but that’s just because I want this to be as thorough as possible.

If you’re interested in Monster Prom, I recommend either buying it or just watching a playthrough of the game before reading this. There are going to be spoilers for certain routes along with secret endings that you can get, so… there. Now that I’ve been super transparent about what this entails, let’s get started.

V3 Dating Some Monsters!

Since this is a MULTIPLAYER DATING SIM, here are the groups of people I think would probably play against each other:GAME 1 -Angie, Himiko, Tenko, TsumugiGAME 2 -Kirumi, Kokichi, Kiibo, KaitoGAME 3 -Shuichi, Kaede, Rantaro, RyomaGAME 4 -Korekiyo, Maki, Miu, Gonta

We’ll talk about each game from top to bottom, ok?

Himiko would be player one after everyone insisted that she gets it (”Nyehhh, what a pain, I have to choose first?”). After picking Brian (Green) because he looked super tired, she waited for everyone else. Angie ended up being player two, and went as Vicky (Blue) because of how cute and happy she looked. Tenko chose Amira (Red) afterward because she seemed like she wouldn’t take crap from anybody along with the fact that she was the only girl left to choose from. Tsumugi was left with Oz (Yellow), but she didn’t mind it much; she thought his simplistic design was perfect for her personality.

Himiko didn’t really go for anyone in particular on her playthrough, although she got the most events with Polly. She did seem to like Valerie (The shopkeeper) but didn’t know that she was romanceable. At the end of the game, Himiko ended up going to prom by herself, and had a good time.

Angie went for Miranda because of how devoted she seemed to be to her kingdom! It was very impressive, and she didn’t bat an eye when she ended up getting the throne ending! Nothing like releasing a kraken to sneak a fish man into the school. (Tenko was a little concerned by Angie’s decisions through this route though, and kept an eye on her for awhile.)

Tsumugi was the only person in the group to try and romance a male, and even then, it was because she already heard of a certain secret ending with Liam- “Liam The Weeb.” She was super excited that they put a character in a game that you could see develop a love for something she has, and also had a good laugh when she muttered to herself about him requiring yaoi hands. After successfully getting it at the end, she already had been thinking of fanfiction ideas for a continuation of this route.

Tenko tried to get with Vera! Unfortunately, she wasn’t the best at reading the situations, and her stats weren’t high enough, not to mention everyone else kept getting a table with her at lunch! How was she supposed to be stepped on with affection by the powerful snake lady?!? When she was turned down at prom, she felt her heart break a little bit, but attacked Himiko with a hug saying that she would be fine as long as the little mage was there.

Before anyone could decide who would be player one, Kokichi took a chance to be Oz, but named him Ligma because Kiibo would inevitably ask the question of, “Why would you name yourself Ligma?” and he was absolutely ready to laugh at his response to the epidemic of ligma. Kirumi went next, choosing Amira because she “seems like a capable young lady.” Kiibo got Brian before Kaito could object to playing a girl, but the astronaut soon got his second wind by saying that girl power would trump the guys. He held his hand out to Kirumi for a high five, which she hesitantly accepted. 

“Ohhhh, I’ve heard how hard it is to get Vera! Don’t worry Kaito, there’s no way you cou-”

“I’M GONNA FUCK A SNAKE WOMAN AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME.”

This is probably the most chaotic of the games due to Kokichi being able to egg on Kaito with no problem. Kokichi also decided to go for Vera, making it that much harder for Kaito. Kaito almost never got the lunch events with Vera, while Kokichi had his own agenda.

“You’re buying a used tampon? I know you’re messed up, but GOD, that’s a whole other level.”

Little did Kaito know that Kokichi had started the cult ritual secret ending, and was planning to finish it. After fumbling around with her and failing to live up to Vera’s expectations, Kaito got turned down at prom, and was pissed when Kokichi got the secret ending! Why hadn’t he been paying attention to what the midget of the group was doing?! He wasn’t sure, but Kokichi was having a good time cackling and “reassuring” Kaito that he was too dumb and not logical enough to have gotten her route anyways.

Kirumi liked how Liam carried himself, and was more than happy to try romancing him. She seemed to have relaxed while playing this game despite the constant bickering of the grapes in the room. With no failed events, Kirumi went to prom with Liam, and appreciated how secretly funny he was under his hipster demeanor.

Kiibo was being crushed constantly by Kokichi and Kaito after making the grave mistake of sitting between them. He did his best not to let that get to him, but he was distracted for the majority of the game because of him. Before he could choose the last question of the personality quiz at the beginning, his hand was knocked and he accidentally got started on Damien’s route. He spent the majority of the time asking Kirumi questions about if it was normal to be that angry and destructive. He was especially concerned about how Damien had dead bodies in his home! However, he successfully took the demon to prom.

(After his failure, Kaito spent hours playing the game and trying to get all the endings possible. He ended up getting stuck on romancing Valerie.)

From the very beginning of this game, Shuichi and Kaede promised each other that they wouldn’t get in each other’s way, and would help each other should special events requiring the extra boosts in affection come up. Rantaro was happy to do his own thing along with Ryoma. This was probably the calmest group of people to play the game.

Rantaro chose Oz before others could, just changing the name to his own so that no one would get confused. Shuichi chose Amira, but Kaede asked if she could change the name for him without him looking. When he eventually turned back, he was named “Sweetchi

Rantaro decided he liked how excitable Polly was, and how every event with her was like an adventure. He liked being a part of her party scientist shenanigans, and watching her tell a sugar daddy to marry a llama. Which he did. He got the secret Party Science ending with her, and was super calm. Originally though, before dating Polly, he really hoped that Aaravi The Slayer was romanceable.

Kaede accidentally started the Blobert route, which made everyone’s day (”you can date… a blob with a hat?” “You’re just jealous of his hat, aren’t you?”). Getting to give everyone ridiculously specific greeting cards, including a corpse. Regardless, she was super happy to hear how much everyone loves Blobert, and decided that he would always be her favorite. (Shuichi was taking some mental notes through this playhthrough.)

Shuichi ended up going to prom with Miranda as a ghost. It was an accident that he even got on her route, and he still wanted to at least have a successful run. He went to the shop and saw the ghost costume, he was too interested to not buy it. Going through all the cutscenes, he thought Liam getting frustrated was a little cute (Though he wouldn’t dare admit that to anyone) and was happy when he managed to go to prom as a spooky little guy!

Ryoma saw the gentleness in Scott’s heart, and was taken by it. he wanted Scott to be the happiest boy in the world and stay unaware of the hardships that come with life. He ended up successfully going to prom with the werewolf, and was surprised at how fun it was to play a game with other people at the same time. He could probably get used to this.

“I don’t care what fuckin’ player I am, titless- just lease me the fire girl because she’s SMOKIN’ like yours truly!”

“... I think I’m already regretting playing this game with you.”

After Miu made a big deal out of it, she ended up with Amira. Maki chose Vicky, changing the name to her own. Korekiyo chose Brian, but named him Shiso Asobi. once again, no one knew what was with the ridiculous name. Gonta was left with Oz, but he had no problem with that! He did, however, have problems with changing his name. His hands were a bit too big for the keyboard.

“REVERSE ROMANIAN WILKINSON? I don’t know what she’s on, but I fuckin’ LOVE her!”Miu was all over Polly and how ridiculous she could be, including her Reverse Romanian Wilkinson ending. She wasn’t sure what the penguin mask was for along with the guacamole and bag of beads, but just imagining what it was getting her hot all over. She successfully pulled it off, and then proceeded to bother Kiibo about trying it with her.

Maki was attracted to the way Scott acted like a certain astronaut she knew, so she just couldn’t ignore him. getting the correct choices on his route was super easy for her, and she smiled just enough to get Miu on her case for a little bit. At the end of the game, she wondered if she’s been wanting a man who’s essentially like a puppy.

Gonta didn’t want to romance anyone! He just wanted to have the best time he could making people happy. Unfortunately for him, his actions brought him to the orgy ending. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was asking everyone around him why they weren’t wearing clothes. Miu was yelling angrily because she hadn’t been informed that such a route even existed, and Maki just sighed out of frustration. Korekiyo wasn’t surprised given the rest of the games content, but he found humor in Gonta being the one to get such an ending.

Korekiyo wasn’t originally going after anyone. He just wanted to experience what it was like to play a game about dating people with, well... other people. However, when he basically summoned a powerful monster from the totem of zgord, he changed his playing style to fit accordingly. With a high enough charm stat and being able to take a tentacle monster to the prom, everyone was slightly disturbed, besides Miu. She just wished that she could be a part of that action.

[sevenpabosandabunchoffans]

The Meaning of Family | Chapter 11

Characters:Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin, Original Characters

Words: 5286

Genre: Foster Dad!Jin, Preschool Teacher!Jin, Social Worker!Namjoon, Little Kid!Yoongi, Little Kid!Hoseok, Little!Kid Jimin, Little Kid!Taehyung, Little Kid!Jungkook, America!au, namjin but it’s more of a side thing

Warnings: mentions of insecurity, mentions of a learning disability, mentions of the beginnings of a panic attack, lots of fluff

Summary: Jin is a preschool teacher at a small center and has an absolute adoration for younger children. During his time as a teacher, he sees an unfortunate percentage of his students placed in the foster system, so he decides to become a foster parent himself, forming an attachment with five children that get placed with him and their case worker.

Previous Chapter

“Okay,” Namjoon clapped his hands as he sat across from his two oldest. “Who’s ready for a little talk?”

“Why are we here, dad?” Yoongi, the now 11-year-old, asked. A few years had passed, and Yoongi was now about to start his second year at middle school. Hoseok was now 10 and entering middle school for the first time. Jimin and Taehyung were eight and about to begin the third grade, while Jungkook was six and entering first grade.

“Remember a few years ago when we all had a family meeting and we told you how babies are made?” The two boys nodded. “And we told you that this would be a three-part discussion?” They nodded again. “Welcome to part two!”

“Why are we the only two here then?” Hoseok asked, fingers drumming on his knee. “And where’s Dad?”

“Dad is with Taehyung at an appointment.” Taehyung’s stutter, although not as prominent, was still around enough that his second-grade teacher had expressed concern on the boy’s final report card, so Jin had finally managed to schedule an appointment with a speech pathologist to see what they could do to help Taehyung. “And the other boys aren’t in middle school yet, so we feel that we can wait a little longer before having this talk with them. On the other hand, you two may be witnessing what we talk about very soon, especially you, Yoongi, with Sophia being your best friend.” Seeing that the two’s attention had been successfully grasped, he began with the talk. “I am going to explain to you what a period is.”

“Won’t I learn about this next year in health?” Yoongi asked.

“No.” Namjoon answered. “You won’t, which is why I am teaching you.” Namjoon mentally cursed the school system before continuing. “So, remember how we told you in the last talk that girls produce eggs which are a part of what makes a baby?” The boys nodded. “Good. Well, those eggs are released on a monthly basis, typically one at a time, but you get the occasional month where two or more are released, which results in multiples, but that’s not the point right now. So, for about 28-30 days, depending on the girl, her uterus, the place where the baby stays, will build up layers of blood and tissue in preparation for if she were to become pregnant. About 14 days into this is when an egg is released, and then it takes another 14 days on average for the egg to reach the uterus. If the egg has not been fertilized by a sperm, then those layers will be ripped from the lining of the uterus and will be expelled through her body in the form of a period.” Hoseok and Yoongi’s eyes widened in fear at Namjoon’s description.

“That sounds horrible!” Hoseok exclaimed. “And like it hurts!”

“It does hurt, a lot.” Namjoon agreed. “Periods are considered an extremely mild form of labor, the contractions of the uterus to expel the blood and tissue mimic those of labor, so a girl will be in quite a bit of pain during it. They may also be fairly emotional leading up to and during her period. But that does not mean that any time a girl gets upset, she’s on her period.” Namjoon turned to look at Yoongi. “I brought up Sophia because this may be happening to her very soon. Just buy her lots of chocolate whenever it does. Be a good friend.” Namjoon pulled his phone out to show them the pictures he had saved of pads and tampons to explain to them the functions of the products but was interrupted by the front door opening. “We will finish this discussion later.”

“Dad, dad!” Taehyung ran to Namjoon as the older two boys went to their room, giving him a big smile. “I’m intelligent!”

“You are very intelligent, Taehyung!” Namjoon gave him a hug while shooting Jin a look asking what he’s talking about.

“I’m gonna go tell Minnie!” Taehyung ran off as Jin leaned down to give him a kiss.

“How’d the talk go?”

“I think I scared them.” Namjoon answered, following Jin into the kitchen as he began to prepare lunch for the family. “What’s got Taehyung so excited?”

“We were told today that he has what they call an ‘intelligent stutter’.” Jin explained, pulling out a package of bologna to make fried bologna sandwiches. “Apparently it’s a nondiagnosable phenomenon.”

“…but he was still diagnosed?” Namjoon asked, not fully understanding.

“No.” Jin shook his head. “Speech pathologists have created a name for it because of the increasing number of kids experiencing it. The way she explained it, Taehyung’s brain processes information so quickly that when he gets excited or nervous or experiences some other extreme emotion, then his mouth can’t keep up with his thoughts, which is what causes him to stutter and stumble over his words. She showed us some breathing exercises he can do to calm himself down.”

“Well at least we know now.” Namjoon responded as Jimin came into the kitchen.

“Did you sign me up for that class?” Jimin asked, his hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his feet adorably. A couple of years before, Jimin had become fascinated with the contemporary class at the dance academy after observing them during rehearsals for the annual recital, however, he had been unable to join the class due to being too young. Now, he was finally old enough to join the class.

“Let’s see,” Jin used a fork to flip over the slice of bologna in the pan in front of him. “I signed Hoseok up for hip hop, and for Jimin, I did ballet and hip hop…oh, and the contemporary class.” Jin smiled at Jimin as the eight-year-old giggled and gave him a quick hug before running off.

“Speaking of signing up, when are the signups for the little league baseball? Jungkook really liked it last year.”

“Not until the end of the month.” Jin answered placing the fried bologna slices on bread for everyone in the household. “I’ll ask him later if he still wants to do baseball or not. And you’re going to sign Taehyung up for soccer in a few days when registration opens, right?”

Namjoon nodded and kissed Jin on the cheek. “We’re so domestic, I love it.”

Jin rolled his eyes and softly elbowed his husband. “Go get the boys for lunch.” Jin set the plates on the table as Namjoon disappeared. The doorbell rang just as Jin finished, causing him to go see who it was. He opened the door to see a UPS truck driving away and a box on the porch. Jin carried it inside as everyone was filtering into the kitchen. “Yoongi, look what just came in.”

“Is that my viola?!” Yoongi asked excitedly. Back in the early months of the year, the middle school had hosted a recruitment concert during the school day in order to promote their music programs to the fifth graders. Yoongi had already been interested, but after the concert, Sophia had also become interested, so the two had decided to sign up together. Jin had taken the two of them to the recruitment night back in March to see which instruments they preferred. Sophia had stuck with the violin while Yoongi preferred the viola, and the both were then signed up to join the orchestra in their sixth-grade year. Shortly after this night, Namjoon had taken Yoongi to the local music store, but found that the violas there were slightly out of their budget. The parents then began watching Amazon for deals on violas for him, finally purchasing one just a few weeks prior.

Yoongi ran over to where Jin had set the box down on the coffee table, opening it up and carefully removing the viola case from the packaging. “You can check it out later,” Jin said, breaking through Yoongi’s awe. “After we eat lunch, come on.” He wrapped his arm around the preteen and led him into the kitchen.

A few weeks later, the boys’ first week of school was complete, and they were having their semiweekly family meeting. After realizing how many deadlines could occur due to having five young boys that all participated in various activities, they decided on having a Monday meeting and a Friday meeting to discuss the plans for the week and go over anything that was sent home from their school.

“Okay, as always, oldest first.” Namjoon gestured for Yoongi to start talking.

Yoongi opened up the folder he always placed his school notes in, going in order of his class schedule. “We got our order form for shoulder rests and lesson books today in orchestra.” Yoongi handed the order form to Jin before moving on to explain what happened in each of his classes, spending a little extra time on how excited he was about dissecting a pig’s heart in science later in the year. Right before Jin could tell Hoseok it was his turn to talk, Yoongi suddenly remembered something. “Oh, and our open house is on August 20th.”

“I’m glad you had a good week, Yoongi!” Jin told him before turning to Hoseok. “Okay, Hobi, what do you got?”

Hoseok stood up as if he was ready to give a speech. “Like Yoongi said, we have an open house and that’s where you get to meet all of our teachers.” Hoseok explained, mainly to his younger brothers. “And I like having study hall because it gives me more time to do my homework.” Hoseok was very fond of the new experience. Hoseok went on to explain how much he loved getting to switch classrooms and move around but expressed distaste of his block classes (due to test scores all middle schoolers in Conway were required to have a double Reading & Language Arts class and a double Math class). He ended his turn by expressing his excitement for the dance season to start, with which Jimin happily agreed.

For the first time since preschool, Jimin and Taehyung had been placed in the same class, so the two of them chose to share their turn. Jimin led most of the discussion, going through the basics of their school day. “Tae Tae and I are in different reading groups, but we’re in the same math group, so it’s okay.” The informing of the different reading groups didn’t surprise Jin or Namjoon too much, because they knew Jimin would have been placed in the highest reading group, and they also knew that Taehyung was doing really well because he had always done well with reading and they hadn’t received any notification from his teacher that he was struggling.

After Jimin finished his summary of their day, Taehyung began talking about how much he liked art this year. It took a while for him to finish because of how excited he was getting, but many minutes and a few deep breaths later, he completed his story and moved to his backpack to retrieve a slip of paper. “And I got a note to give you.”

“I got one, too!” Jimin exclaimed, running to his backpack as Jin skimmed over the note.

Jin’s eyes widened as he registered what the note said and chose to read it out loud. “Dear Parent(s), your child has been chosen to participate in our school’s Pinnacle program. This program is designed for third and fourth grade students that excel in one or more of the following areas: mathematics, sciences, reading comprehension, language arts.” Jimin returned with his own slip of paper, which Jin accepted and quickly saw was an exact copy of the note from Taehyung. “This is amazing, boys!” Jin congratulated the two.

“What does that mean?” Jungkook asked, head tilted in curiosity.

“It means they’re super smart.” Yoongi told his younger brother, him and Hoseok both seeming slightly upset, too.

“You boys are smart, too.” Namjoon was quick to say after noticing their change in mood. “Just in different ways. Yoongi, you are very smart musically, and Hobi, you are really good at reading, too.” Both boys seemed to be at least a little comforted by Namjoon’s praise.

“Well, it looks like we’re gonna have to go shopping this weekend.” Jin commented afterwards, looking over the short list of required supplies given on the note.

But as life would have it, just as everything seemed to be going perfectly for the family, a few small storms brewed in the distance, finally striking down halfway through the first semester.

“You’re coming to our presentations, right?” Taehyung asked during breakfast one morning. The Pinnacle program set up a few projects for the participating students throughout the school year, the first one being in the form of a small research project on the country of the students’ choice. “They’re right after school!”

“Of course, Tae, we wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Jin assured him as he assisted Jungkook in cutting up his fried egg, seeing as the first grader was struggling slightly. He turned to his oldest two boys after he was done. “Remember, we’ll be picking you up a little bit late since we’ll be at Taehyung and Jimin’s presentations.” Jin noticed the way Jimin seemed to fold further in on himself at every mention of the presentations. Assuming Jimin was feeling a little nervous, Jin said, “And I just know that they’ll be amazing. Which countries did you two choose?”

“I picked Italy!” Taehyung said excitedly, taking a bite of his toast.

“Korea~” Jimin answered quietly.

Namjoon finally entered the kitchen, having overslept slightly. He greeted each of the boys before giving Jin a good morning kiss and fixing a plate for himself. “Hey, Jana has to leave early Friday, so I have to stay until closing, can you take the boys to their eye doctor appointment?

Namjoon nodded as Jungkook spoke up. “But we just went!”

“Last year, Kookie,” Jin reminded him. “We have to go every year to make sure our eyes are still working properly.”

Jimin abruptly stood up from his chair and grabbed his plate. “I’m done~” He announced before carrying his plate to the sink and leaving to finish getting ready for school.

“What’s up with Jimin?” Namjoon asked, and Jin shrugged in response.

Half an hour later, the boys were loading up to go to school, Yoongi and Hoseok in Namjoon’s car since the middle school was on his way to work, and Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook in the van with Jin. Jin’s phone dinged with a new email as Namjoon exited the house with his briefcase. “I just got an email from Jungkook’s teacher asking if we could meet with her after school.”

“The presentations don’t start directly after school, do they?”

Jin shook his head. “They have a thirty-minute prep time after the school day ends.”

“We could probably try to meet with her before going to Jimin and Taehyung’s presentation.” Jin nodded in agreement before pressing his lips to Namjoon’s. They bid each other goodbye before getting in their respective vehicles and driving off in opposite directions.

The meeting with Jungkook’s teacher shocked them to say the least. “I send home weekly math worksheets in order to see where the students are at, and Jungkook has not returned a single one.”

Jin and Namjoon looked at her in confusion before Jin spoke up. “I assure you, we had no idea that he wasn’t doing his homework.”

She smiled lightly at them. “Don’t worry, I’m not blaming you in anyway, I just wanted to voice concerns. He also does not complete his worksheets in class, I’m lucky if there’s even a single pencil mark on the paper. He also doesn’t seem to be focusing during our class math time.” The couple assured the teacher that they would speak with Jungkook and try to find out what was going on before exiting the classroom and meeting Jungkook where they had asked him to wait in the hall.

“Let’s go see Minnie and Tae Tae!” The seven-year-old cheered, but his parents stopped him, instead crouching in front of him to talk. “Why haven’t you been doing your homework?”

Jungkook looked down at the ground. “It’s too hard.”

Namjoon took over from there. “I know it can be hard sometimes, but when you’re having trouble, ask one of us or your brothers to help you. It’s okay to ask for help, it’s not okay to not do your homework.” Jungkook nodded in response and the two husbands stood up. “Let’s go watch your brothers now.”

Jungkook skipped ahead of the couple, allowing Jin to voice his concerns quietly to his husband. “Do you think there’s something more than it just being hard? We could call Dr. Pruitt and set up-“

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Namjoon cut him off. “I’m not saying that there isn’t something else going on, but for now let’s just see if it was just embarrassment over having to ask for help before subjecting him to testing that he might end up not needing.” Jin nodded in agreement and welcomed Namjoon’s hand in his as they approached the Pinnacle classroom.

Taehyung’s presentation came before Jimin’s, and Jin and Namjoon watched on in pride as he showed his research about Italy. “And they do celebrate Christmas and have a Santa Claus, but really, they have an old lady name La-la-la B-befana,” Jin silently praised Taehyung for being able to get over his stumbling quickly, “who gives presents to nice kids in January.” Taehyung wrapped up his PowerPoint presentation and the parents and teachers that were sitting in the room all applauded as Jimin got his PowerPoint set up with the help of his Pinnacle teacher.

Jimin moved slowly through his presentation on Korea, which didn’t raise any flags with his parents until he reached the holidays slide. Then the pair began to pay closer attention to their son. “Instead of Thanksgiving, they have something called…Chuseok and it lasts for…three days and during it they eat traditional foods…and play traditional games and…worship their ancestors.” With each pause, Namjoon and Jin noticed the slight squint in Jimin’s eyes as he read off of his PowerPoint slide.

That Friday, after going by the preschool to switch vehicles with Jin, Namjoon picked all the boys up from school and drove them straight to the eye doctor for their appointment. The entire time they were in the waiting room, Yoongi kept expressing how excited he was for his upcoming orchestra concert, his first one.

Soon enough, they were called back to begin their examinations. As the doctor prepared to examine each boy separately, she asked if they felt like they had been having vision problems, also asking Namjoon if he had any concerns. “I’m a little worried about Jimin,” He commented, and the nine-year-old shot him a small glare.

“Have you been having a few problems, Jimin?” The doctor asked him, and the boy shrugged.

“Sometimes the board at school gets blurry, but I’m fine!” Jimin assured everyone. But the exam proved that was not the case. It was determined that he would need glasses, so after everyone was tested, they went back out to the lobby to choose a pair for him. He was not cooperative, rejecting every pair they pulled down without even bothering to try them on. Eventually Namjoon convinced him to put on a few simple, black pairs, picking the ones that fit his face shape the best for him. After measurements were made for the glasses, Namjoon was told that the glasses would be ready to be picked up in a week or two. Before pulling out of the parking lot, Namjoon texted Jin to share the news and warn him that Jimin wasn’t too happy about needing glasses.

Jin returned home a little after 5:00, seeing Namjoon setting a piece of paper and pencil in front of Jungkook on the coffee table. “Welcome home!” Namjoon greeted Jin with a quick kiss. “You’re just in time for us to help Jungkook with his math homework.” Jin looked at Jungkook to see him sitting with his head in his hands while pouting.

“Let’s hold off on that for just a few minutes, I want to talk to Jimin first.” Namjoon nodded understandingly and accepted another quick peck from Jin before he was walking out of the room. He knocked on the open bedroom door, catching the attention of both third graders. “Tae, can you give me a minute with Jimin?” Taehyung nodded and left the room as Jin sat on the edge of Jimin’s bed. “I heard someone’s getting glasses.”

“I don’t want them,” was Jimin’s response. “I’m fine without them.”

“Well, if the doctor said you need them, then you probably need them.” Jin retorted. “There’s nothing wrong with needing glasses, Jimin. I need them, and Joonie has to wear them when he’s working on his computer.”

Jimin crossed his arms over his chest. “People will make fun of me.”

“No, they won’t.” Jin tried to assure the young boy.

“Then why don’t you wear yours all the time?” Jimin glared up at Jin.

“Because I work with small children who have the capability of breaking my glasses and I can’t afford to have them constantly fixed.” Jin wasn’t being fully honest with Jimin. Originally, he chose to wear contacts because he had the exact same fears as Jimin. But then his high school boyfriend had raised his confidence and he began to wear his glasses more often, only using contacts on certain occasions. The truth in his answer came from his first week working at a daycare where a toddler had broken his glasses. He had chosen at that moment to go back to wearing contacts to protect his wallet. Jin observed Jimin, seeing that the boy was still not too happy about needing glasses. “How about this, you wear your glasses like you need to, and if when you start middle school you still don’t like them, then we’ll talk to Dr. Cox about getting you contacts.”

Jimin considered the offer for a moment before giving Jin a small smile. “I think that sounds okay.”

“Good,” Jin reached out and ruffled his hair. “I gotta go help Kookie with his homework now, okay?” Jimin nodded and Jin got up and left his room.

Jungkook, however, was not as easy as Jimin had been.

“Okay, Kookie, this question is asking what 3 + 5 is,” Namjoon pointed to the question on the sheet of paper.

Jungkook stared down at the paper, eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he tried to solve the problem. Eventually, he slammed his pencil down on the table. “I can’t do it, I’m too stupid!”

“You’re not stupid, Kookie,” Jin assured him. He took the boy’s hand and held it up to show all five fingers. “You start off with five…” Jin grabbed his other hand and made him hold three of his fingers up, “and then you add three. Count them and what do you have?”

Jungkook stared at his hands for about a minute before pulling them away from Jin. “It’s too hard!” He insisted, standing up and storming to his room.

Jin sighed and turned to Namjoon. “I’m calling Dr. Pruitt.”

Jungkook’s follow up with Dr. Pruitt to discuss the results of his screening coincided with the day they received the call from the eye clinic about Jimin’s glasses being ready, so Namjoon dropped Jin and Jungkook off at the office before taking Jimin to get his glasses. Part of Jin wished he had been the one to go with Jimin because it probably would have been easier than talking to Dr. Pruitt.

“It seems that Jungkook has an arithmetic based learning disability.” Dr. Pruitt explained. “It’s not severe, he still scored in the average range on the IQ test, and it doesn’t seem to affect all mathematical processing for him. He’s good with time, he knows shapes, he can recognize patterns that aren’t number based, it only affects his algebraic sense, mathematical concepts involving numbers.”

“What can I do at home to support him?” Jin asked, already knowing that Jungkook’s school had a good program in place for children with various learning disabilities.

“Well the number one thing you can do is not do his homework for him.” Dr. Pruitt chuckled. “I get a lot of parents that will do their children’s schoolwork for them instead of trying to help them through it. He will need a lot of help with math homework. You can try counting out loud with him during problems so that he can hear the addition and subtraction in the problems. We can discuss methods further in the meeting with the school.” Jin nodded.

A few minutes later, the meeting ended, and Jin and Jungkook were entering the car after Namjoon came back for them. “Look at you!” Jin exclaimed after seeing Jimin wearing his glasses. “Who’s that handsome boy?” Jimin smiled shyly but was obviously still uncomfortable with his eyewear.

“What’d he say?” Namjoon asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Jin sighed. “Let’s wait until we can get home and have a family meeting.”

After they arrived home, it took ten minutes to get everyone in the living room (it was especially hard to pull Yoongi away from his viola as he was practicing diligently for the upcoming concert). Jin explained to all of them what Dr. Pruitt had told him and explained to them how Jungkook would need extra help with his math homework just like Hoseok had needed extra help with his homework. Everyone assured Jungkook that they would help him whenever needed and soon enough everyone was going their separate ways.

Jin moved towards the kitchen to get started on dinner but was stopped by Jungkook tugging on his shirt. “I don’t want my class to know.”

“Oh, Kookie,” Jin pulled him in for a hug, “then when we talk to your teacher, you can tell her and see what we can do instead, okay?”

During the IEP meeting with the school, Jin made sure to bring up Jungkook’s concerns first, and the teacher offered a method that she used with a previous student that had trouble reading. She would place him in the upper level small math group (the children weren’t supposed to know for sure which groups were the higher levels and which were the lower levels) and working with the upper level students could help Jungkook improve in the best-case scenario. They agreed to try that as a trial and see how it went before making a permanent change in Jungkook’s math group.

One month later, it was finally time for Yoongi’s first orchestra concert. Every year in November, the first concert of the year for the Conway Orchestras was their La Fiesta Orquesta or Taco Supper. Weeks leading up to the event, the students would sell tickets to family and friends in a fundraiser to be able to purchase new instruments for the schools, sheet music for the pieces they wished to play, and to help fund the annual high school orchestra trip. The tickets were then used to be able to eat the dinner provided before or after watching the performances. The sixth graders from all four middle schools in town would be performing together as one, but not until 7:30, so the family opted to enjoy their meal in the high school’s cafeteria (the entire event was hosted at the high school) before Yoongi’s performance, Sophia and her family joining them. “Are you two excited?” Jin asked the oldest children at the table who were both sporting their brand-new Conway Orchestras t-shirts, Yoongi’s in black and Sophia’s in teal.

“So excited!” Sophia exclaimed before taking a sip of her lemonade.

They shared small talk over the meal before Hoseok started bouncing excitedly in his seat. “Dad, I just remembered, my music teacher brought up the end of year talent show today, and I want to audition to dance in it!”

“That’s great, Hobi!” Jin rubbed his back before looking at Yoongi. “Yoongi, you missed the auditions last year because you were sick, did you want to audition this year?” Yoongi looked down at his plate, biting his lip while shrugging. “You don’t have to make a decision now, you have all year to think about it, and whatever you decide is perfectly okay.” Jin smiled at his oldest son, who gave his own small smile, although it was somewhat forced.

“Yoongi, we should go to the arena now.” Sophia said after catching sight of the clock at the top of one of the walls in the expansive area. Both 11-year olds stood up and gathered up their trash to throw away on their way out, bidding their families goodbye.

“Good luck!” Multiple voices called out after them.

Not much later, everyone had finished eating and made their way to the arena just in time to see the group before the sixth graders finishing up their performance. They found seats and politely applauded the group as the left the floor, making room for the sixth graders that were now taking their places. “Look, there’s Yoongi!” Jin pointed him out to Namjoon, immediately holding up his phone and taking picture after picture.

“Got enough pictures there?” Namjoon asked, and Jin just paused in his picture taking long enough to elbow him.

“It’s his first orchestra concert, leave me alone!” Jin continued taking pictures until the conductor introduced the group.

The concert ended after four short pieces, and Namjoon and Jin were the first members of the audience to stand up and applaud the group once they were done. As the sixth graders left the floor, Jin gestured for all of the boys to stand up. “Come on, we told Yoongi we’d meet him out front. The family made their way out of the arena, automatically seeing Yoongi very obviously trying to hold back tears as Sophia comforted him.

Jin rushed forward to the boy, overhearing Sophia say, “It’s okay, Yoongi, you’re still the best violist! Mrs. Fournier says so!”

“What happened?” Jin asked, calmingly stroking Yoongi’s hair.

“My D string went out of tune after the first song!” Yoongi exclaimed, breathing heavily as he tried not to cry.

“I’m sure it’s okay, Yoongi! You still sounded great! You were so good!” Jin assured him as the others gathered around them.

“Really?” Yoongi asked, looking for confirmation.

“Of course!” Namjoon assured him. “It was the best orchestra concert I’ve been too!” Even though Yoongi knew this was the first orchestra concert Namjoon had ever been to, he still accepted the praise as it did make him feel slightly better.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“How about we all go get some ice cream?” Jin asked, looking over at Sophia’s mom as a way of inviting her too. “As a celebration of how well you two did tonight?” Everyone agreed, and they soon found themselves at an ice cream shop. Soon after they were all enjoying their scoops of ice cream, Yoongi had visibly calmed down and was laughing along with Sophia as they talked about their own inside jokes that no one else that was present could understand.

Namjoon looked at his watch and noticed how late it was getting. “We should probably get home, Taehyung has a soccer game early tomorrow morning.” Jin agreed and the two families told each other goodbye before going to their respective homes. As Jin was making his bedtime rounds, he made sure to praise Yoongi just one last time before shutting the light off and joining his husband for a night of deep sleep.

Next Chapter

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