#unfortunately between university and working every day of the week i don't have much time to be on here anymore

[irhabiya]

hello! i have over 200 asks in my inbox from several families so please bear with me as i go through these, i won't be able to reply to every single one but i'll make sure to reblog and share accounts, and update my pinned post today

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [4]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 7.1k

nothing much to say this time but this is not beta read, my friend who was supposed to read it is unfortunately unavailable, idk if the argument makes sense in the end cause I personally run from confrontations so idk how to write good arguments so yeah.

ANYWAYS, Happy reading!!

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TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud

___________

In all of your years working for Bangtan, as one of their staff and the youngest stylist, you've been included in every life events and celebrations there is. Birthdays, first wins, comebacks, everything there is even something as important as family dinners. You've never skipped or forgot a single member's birthday, period.

But as Guwon stands before you, a plane ticket to Jeju in hand with the departure scheduled tomorrow and returning just a day short before the tour, you find yourself at a crossroad. It’s Jungkook's birthday tomorrow and Jimin has planned a small party tonight at their dorms before the formal celebration at the company the next day.

While you've been trying to rectify the awkward air between you and the maknae since his confession by starting conversations, the maknae only replied to you with silence before promptly vanishing in two seconds flat.

But despite the strain in your relationship, you could never think of not attending his birthday. You'd never thought to be petty enough to return his energy. His present was already wrapped in a pretty bow under your bed for a week now for Christ's sake!

“I-I can't… It's one of their birthday’s tomorrow.”

“Oh.” His smile falls. “Can't you just give your gift today? Surely they can party for one night without you.”

It was a genuine question, logical and true but for some reason, his tone raised concerns within you. You swear to the highest heavens you could hear a bit of irritation hidden beneath dejection.

You winced. “I can't, I'm really sorry… I-I can pay you back what you've spent for the trip. I'm really sorry, I just never missed any of their birthdays. I swear I'll make it up to you next time!”

Guwon's shine dulled the further you went on and your heart twinged with guilt. In another universe where some humans gained animalistic features, he'd have dog ears pressed to his skull, staring at you with wide and glistening eyes.

You waved off the image immediately, disturbed.

“It's also my fault for not asking for your schedule. The tour is next week and then you'd be away from me for months so I kind of… panicked. I'm sorry.”

He should've known better than not to do research on your bosses , a voice at the back of your head scoffed and you waved the thought away as you put a hand over his. 

“I should've notified you as well. Tell me if those are refundable or not, I'll pay you back.”

He waves you off. “Cute but I've been raised well to know not to ask a lady to pay for my mistake, so don't worry that pretty head of yours about not being able to go.”

The date continued and thankfully, no dead air remained and conversation eased out of the both of you. Guwon sorted out his reservations early on, he'd stopped eating every once in a while to pick up his phone to either receive a call or respond to an email.

With how often he answered the chimes of his phone and how long it took for him to finally put it down, you figured he must've prepared a lot for the week and it made you feel more guilty every time he did it.

Today, he brought you both to an indoor park he rented for an hour for a picnic. It was on the outskirts of Seoul and he also cooked most of the food placed between you both, his mother however, was responsible for the side dishes.

Speaking of mothers, yours called earlier to congratulate you on whatever it was she was adamant on keeping secret but you already knew what it was and you were glad Jungkook’s mother gave birth on such a perfect day almost 21 years ago.

Guwon was planning to propose to you during the trip.

It left a bitter taste in your tongue. Sure you had expected to be married to him at some point but you barely knew the man outside of his colorful stories, and knew none of his actual behavior in his home. You haven't even visited his house yet for a vibe check so why is he rushing too fast?

Despite the guilt in your heart, relief is more palpable knowing you'd have more time to figure out if you truly want Guwon in your life.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you took a glance at it.

           [17:29] Jinnie: I'll pick you up at your apartment by 6.            [17:29] Jinnie: please be prepared😊

Seeing the t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ friendly smile attached at the end of his message, you're suddenly reminded of the present. You hadn't told any of them of your date today, something that had drawn out longer than you thought it would. You frowned, fingers drumming on the side of your phone as you pondered on what to reply.

You had promised to help with the food yet here you are, out of town and on a picnic date inside a garden observatory.

“Who is it?” Guwon asks, seeing the frown on your face. Your mind immediately picks up the odd tone he has.

“Their oldest, Jin. We're supposed to cook together before the rest comes home.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought the birthday was tomorrow?”

“Oh, we're planning a small party before it, just his closest friends.”

Guwon nodded, eyes distant and thoughtful as he took a bite of his sandwich before continuing. “What time are you expected?”

“Their eldest said he'll pick me up at six.”

He looked at his watch and frowned deeper. “It's already 5:30. Maybe I can drive you to their dorm instead?”

You immediately shook your head. Remembering the promise you had with Jin and Jungkook. The maknae had recently begun to look at your direction again yesterday after Hoseok had talked to him, inviting Guwon would ruin the smallest progress you’ve had. 

Not to mention, you can't reveal their dorm location even if he is to be your husband. Company rules and you've signed an NDA.

“Company rules, can't reveal their location.”

“If we're going to be a couple soon, I'm going to need to know more about these guys you're hanging around. I don't trust them.” He says as he turns to the picnic basket to take another sandwich out, unable to see the twitch in your eye. 

“Well, you have to learn how to, they’re my bosses and my best friends.”

“I’m having a hard time believing that. I mean,” He scoffed. “Did you notice how they look at me whenever I’m around? That rapper—Yun–Yoonmi stared at me like I’m an insect he stepped on.”

Anger boils deep within your soul and you’re sure it's visibly contorting your face at this point but the man didn’t notice it and continued chewing on his food.

“Besides, their location is pretty well known already, no? Just a couple searches away, why be so secretive about it?”

You refrain yourself from frowning and it takes all of the energy within you to not react as wildly as you would’ve. It was amazing how the illusion of something good could shatter with only a few words and you set down the sandwich in your hand.

There's something terribly humbling upon realization that the man you're talking to is indeed, a man.

Noticing the shift in the air, he set down his cup of coffee with a slight raise to his brows.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It's true though, I just think it's pointless to try to hide it when some people already know, so what's the use of trying to hide their dorm?”

Where's Jimin and Taehyung at times like this?

You dreaded the conversation you're about to bring up to your mother once she calls, and could hear her scolding you for having such high standards. Guwon being indifferent to the possibility of being stalked, and your boys’ privacy being breached immediately raise red glaring flags over his head.

A lawyer himself who shrugged at the threat of crimes, the joke just writes itself.

“Don't look at me like that, I'm just… trying to understand why you didn't want me to interact with them after our second date. It makes a man overthink, know?”

Whatever thread you were holding onto, a sliver of hope that you might've misheard or misunderstood him, decayed within you and you picked up your phone to stuff into your bag.

You had hoped, wished, that after your deep talk on the night Seokjin had scolded your ass to the nines he'd understand your dynamic better with the boys or at least try. You could already hear Yoongi's drawl out ‘I told you so’ as you packed up, even imagine him bringing up Namjoon’s statistical analysis and how I should've listened to it.

“If you're implying what I think you are implying then I don't think we should meet each other anymore.”

Tossing the food back into the basket carelessly, you slung your bag over your shoulder and stand, only for his hand to shoot out to grab your wrist in an iron grip.

“Wait, I-I'm sorry! I just got… jealous, that's all.”

Even with the apologetic look displayed clearly on his face and the fear swimming with them, nothing could bring back to life the trust you had on the man and you pushed his hand away.

“I can't stay with someone who can't understand why those boys are important to me, sorry Guwon but we're over. Don't you ever contact me again.”

“You can't possibly be breaking up with me because I said what I felt? Over them? Really?!”

You don't even recognize the man sitting opposite you.

He knew, he saw how close you are with them and even sat through the stories you told him during your dates. Guwon knew you cherished every single boy in the group yet he disregarded it all because of jealousy? If that isn't a warning, then you might be blind.

“It's like I never even knew you at all.”

He scoffed. “Same with you. Can't believe I actually believed your words telling me you were friends but I saw how those boys treated you!”

Sure your relationship with your bosses is unusual but it was built from hardship and loneliness from being taken away from home and surrendering their time for a glimpse of fame in a field where they're at a huge disadvantage. It was special in ways not many could fathom because in their head, what reason would there be for a man to befriend a girl other than having the intention to fuck them?

It was the mindset of the old and “ wise” and it had infuriated you to the nines.

For him to reveal himself as one of those old cogs when he expressed himself as a gentleman and be convinced by his act of kindness, even the word disappointing could express how greatly upset you are.

“Bet you've slept with all of them at least once, hell, I don't even know why your mother bothered when you're already busy whoring yourself for seven men.”

Anger flooded your veins, it was hot and rampaging under your skin. Before your mind could even register your actions, your hand had already moved, making contact with his cheek in one swift motion. The slap echoed like a clap of thunder in the silence of the observatory.

Even after seeing the angry red mark beginning to mar his skin, your anger remained.

“Goodbye Guwon, I hope we never see each other again.”

Walking away was easier said than done.

You got picked up by Guwon earlier and since you've run far enough from the indoor garden, away from your supposed ticket back home, you're now waiting for an uber at a small library sequestered between towering and loudly designed buildings. You had half a mind to ask your friends that lived nearby for a ride but decided against it.

They might be busy with their own family. 

Unlike you.

As you sit there waiting for your ride to come, your mind takes you to your mother and her genuine glee at the thought of you getting married. Ever since your second date, she had been sending you photographs of weddings for inspirations, links to event places and tailors, and flower shops where you could have your bouquet arranged. She was beyond ecstatic, if she heard what had happened, she would be devastated. 

A loud, exasperated sigh left your lips, the volume catching the attention of the bookkeeper who was quick to shush you.

As you waited longer with only the deafening silence of the library to accompany you, doubt began to form at the back of your head. 

Was breaking up with Guwon really the right choice? 

An angry, louder voice screamed at you for doubling down on your decision. You knew your boys longer than you knew him, if the trip had gone through, Guwon would've proposed to you despite the short time you've known each other. Something you didn't want. Not to mention, he would've gone through the idea while contemplating on your loyalty.

So yes, it was the right decision!

But you were to be married .

Your mother was so happy to have finally matched you with a guy you attended three dates with. The thought made your heart clench, she was excited to see you on the altar and has most likely spread it around your town with pride. She was about to have three married children.

Gods, you don't want to imagine the conversation later on, she'd be distraught.

Your phone buzzed and you dreaded looking at the screen to see your mother's name. Luckily, it was Jin instead.

           [18:01] Jinnie: where are you?            [18:01] Jinnie: knocked on your door but the neighbor said you were out.            [18:02] Jinnie: you're late😒            [18:02] Jinnie: I'm going to have them deduct your pay this month for making me wait            [18:03] You: I'm sorry your highness for disappointing you, please forgive this servant of yours🤧            [18:03] You: was on a date            [18:03] You: not that it matters anymore, I broke up with Guwon            [18:04] You: does it even count? I mean, we weren't official, he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend yet.

You paused, face souring as you realized what you've just typed. 

Guwon hadn't asked for your hand officially even after three dates, he had the chance on your second date during the stroll but he didn't. Despite this, he went and asked your parents for their blessings when he hadn't even asked you first.

           [18:04] You: wow I just remembered that            [18:04] You: then he had the audacity to propose to me!

There's a pause in between his usually instant replies and you had an inkling he's already spreading the gossip around the group somehow.

           [18:08] Jinnie: wow there's a LOT to unpack there            [18:08] Jinnie: but worry not            [18:08] Jinnie: I'll have Jimin get us the strongest drink there is for later            [18:09] Jinnie: we'll drink that sorrow away and you're going to tell me what the hell you meant by proposing while not being official             [18:10] You: I don't think I should tell you that…            [18:10] You: considering… ya know            [18:11] You: also don't you guys have an early schedule tomorrow?🤨            [18:12] Jinnie: bold of u to assume I don't want hear how massive of a failure he is            [18:12] Jinnie: nothing better than hearing your enemy’s downfall😌            [18:13] Jinnie: also what do you mean ‘you guys’???             [18:13] Jinnie: you're literally our make-up artist!

You scoffed at the message but before you could type up a reply, the notification from your uber app popped out to inform you about your driver now waiting outside the library and you walked out.

           [18:23] You: and just because I'm your make-up artist, doesn't mean I should let you all get away with this            [18:23] You: and I won't even drink much :pp            [18:24] Jinnie : if I ever see you stumbling around the house, you owe me 100000            [18:25] You: WOW            [18:25] You: AREN'T YOU RICH ALREADY????            [18:25] Jinnie: money is money😌            [18:26] Jinnie: just get ur ass over here already before I add more zeros to the bet

The smell of Jin’s cooking, both spicy and something savory, welcomed you first before the sound of sizzles did. At the sound of the door closing, Jin appears round the corner with an apron hung from his neck and a tong stained with red bean paste in the other.

Despite the disappointed look he's going for, reminiscent of a mother who caught her daughter coming home past curfew, the relief you feel upon seeing his handsome face after earlier was palpable and the knots in your stomach loosened.

“I should have your pay deducted for showing up late.”

You winced. “Sorry boss, can I appeal for a heartbreak discount on that?”

“Only if you give me a hug and cry on my shoulder.” 

He opened his arms wide, plush lips widening into a smile when you approached to wrap your arms around his torso. The fabric of his sweatshirt was soft and the scent of new laundry overtook his usual scent of freshly baked cakes and gentle vanilla perfume, it almost made you boneless in his hold. Moreso when he started stroking your head while the other ran up and down your back with his palm, fingers still wrapped around the tongs.

He didn't pull away despite the awkward position with him bending down and practically melting against your smaller form. In your years of being friends, you could never recall Seokjin being the first to pull away from a hug and once more, you're grateful for that.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I’ll do it while cooking, we might burn whatever you're cooking if I told you all about it here.”

He shook his head, his rubbing motions on your back turning into gentle pats. “We can just order it online if it does, I even bet that they'll still eat it even if it was. Hoba was relentless today.”

His nails raked through your scalp and you resisted the urge to shiver. 

“He was being an ass towards you guys. Then when I defended you all, he accused me of sleeping around.”

His first instinct was to curse the man down to his ancestors who bred with each other until he was born, but stopped himself when he realized what he's about to say and cleared his throat.

If his arms coiled tighter around you, you only leaned into him further.

“Normally I would say "I told you so" but I know Yoongi has it covered later. So I'll just say—"

"Don't you dare. Jin don’t you dare finish that sentence."

"I knew it."

He let out a cry when your hand slapped his arm but it quickly dissolved into a fit of squeaky laughter and he pushed your head back under his chin before you could even continue hitting him. Hand continuing their petting as you let out an annoyed groan.

“My mom was so excited! God. I hate that bastard for disappointing me and her. She was sending me links to wedding planners and dressmakers because apparently he was supposed to take me to Jeju tomorrow and propose.”

He stills in your arms, the hand in your hair stopping its motion as his breath hitched in his chest. It took him a moment before he recollected himself and continued to pat your head, pressing a kiss on top of your crown.

“I'm sure auntie will understand, I know that she would've wanted you to find a good man like she and your sister did.”

A voice at the back of your head told you he was referring to himself but you threw the thought away as soon as it went.

“Personally, I would've taken the ticket and ditch him.” He laughed and you hit his arm with a barely concealed grin. “All I'm saying is that free things should be used and if it's gifted then better! You get to decide how to use it so refund it!”

“I don't think it's that easy.”

“Just say Kim Seokjin of BTS asked for a refund and they'll immediately accept it.”

Pulling away, you playfully rolled your eyes at him, earning you one last laugh as you walked to the kitchen where the sizzles of the food being fried on the pan had long been muted. Jin followed you with an onslaught of words spilling from his lips, justifying and detailing how he would've done in your place as you placed your bag down on the island counter before reaching for the spare apron.

Hearing his rants filling the silence made it easier to relax, made forgetting how upset you were at Guwon a walk in the park.

It was familiar and his voice, despite his fiery indignation, was oddly comforting.

Soon enough, your conversation halts and you both position yourself over the counter, following his orders mindlessly; which is mostly dicing the vegetables and the slabs of meat he marinated last night in soy sauce and spices. 

You found the repetitive motions of chopping soothing and silently thanked the man now hovering over the saucepan, gently stirring the seaweed soup. 

As if sensing your eyes boring holes on the back of his head, his ears reddened and he looked over his shoulder to meet your gaze.

“W-what is it? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just admiring how huge your shoulders are and how reliable you are.” 

You recalled how dearly he cared for his group despite the exhaustion from practicing singing and dancing the whole day. Despite being the youngest in his family, Jin took on the mantle of the oldest brother in the group easily and selflessly provided for his members alongside Yoongi and Namjoon. If it were anybody, you were sure the boys would've been sick or had long given up, especially when the company was about to file bankruptcy in their earlier years.

From the bone shattering dances, exhausting practices and routines stretching from dawn till dusk, you were thankful Seokjin was there to catch the others when they fall.

It was a hard task nobody would've assumed since selfishness is a built-in trait of a human yet Seokjin proved you wrong when he stayed up every night despite the muscle cramps and exhaustion weighing his bones to cook for his members, taking the role of the eldest like it was a second nature despite being the youngest in his family.

He barked out a half-hearted laugh as his red ears brightened from the compliment. “I already know that of course!”

“Thank you for everything, Jin.”

His face crumpled when he laughed bashfully, the bright hue in his ears crawling to dusk his cheeks as well. It didn't take long before he recovered and like clockwork, in reaction to being flustered by compliments, he got defensive and raised the saucer threateningly at you.

“Ya! If you're planning to compliment me, at least be original! I'm done hearing about how wide my shoulders are from ARMY and how reliant I am from the others! We've been together for years, do better and be original with your compliments!”

It was a joke, obviously.

But staring at the older man childishly brandishing his cooking utensil like a bludgeoning weapon, you couldn't help but ponder about what truly pulled you into him only to realize that you've never truly dove deeper than surface level details. It was disappointing to find out how shallow you've been when expressing your appreciation for the man.

Like he said, you've always pointed out how reliable he is but never have you pointed out the small things such as the warm food he claimed have been extras and the hot soups sectioned off for you on cold days.

He was the first to approach you on the first day despite being the member who mostly kept to himself, asking you if you wanted to celebrate their Rookie of the Year win with them instead of the rowdy staff behind you. 

The first one to build a bridge leading to this deep companionship you had with the rest of the members, have you really never thanked him for that?

“You're so caring and humble despite your background and where you are right now. If it was anybody else, they would've left the boys to fend for themselves once they were able to yet you didn't stop cooking for them, for us. I don't think I have ever met a man so down to earth and as loving as you are,” You paused. “Well, except Jimin but if you want something more original I'd say I love your hands even when you think they're weird because they—”

You didn't even realize Jin crossed the distance between you both until his hands clasped around your lips, silencing you completely.

Unlike earlier with only his ears blushing, his cheeks now glowed red, the flushed skin spreading down to his neck, continuing past the collar of his dark blue pajamas. When your eyes meet, you find his glistening with unshed tears no doubt touched by your hastily put together declaration of your appreciation for him. 

When it was clear you wouldn't continue your rant, his arms fell to your shoulders and pulled you into a tight embrace. 

His violent heartbeats thudding against his chest was the first thing you've heard before you registered the stuttered exhales and his gentle saccharine scent filling your senses, clouding your brain completely. For a moment, it was just you and him in the kitchen, hugging a little longer than friends should be.

But then again, since when have you guys ever drawn the line on how platonic touches should last?

“God… You gotta stop doing that.”

“I'm just following what you told me like a good dongsaeng and I think I did exceedingly well on it. Does that guarantee a deduction on my pay deduction?”

There's an odd, invisible weight that lifted off of you, something you didn't even realize you were carrying. But there's also a tinge of guilt pinching the edges of your heart.

Jin was the first to approach you, and the first to confess four years ago. He was all shy looks and sweet smiles, his sweet words accompanied by a bouquet of flowers that must've cost him more than he could've gotten from being an idol of a new group. 

When Jin loves, he gives his all and doesn't think twice to give half of himself as well. In a way, he and Yoongi were alike, just with different approaches.

He was open and unapologetic while Yoongi was subtle and often silent.

His laugh twinkled in your ears but it dwindled later on, as if he remembered something towards the end of his mirth. “You're driving me crazy, how am I supposed to move on when you're this lovely?”

Hearing him confirm your suspicion about his crush—is it even called that at this point?—relieved you from an unknown anxiety most likely sparked by Jungkook's words a few nights ago. Why are you even relieved hearing him still liking you when all you've done is hurt him?

“You're such an idiot, you know that?”

“Love makes you do the stupidest thing but I don't think I've ever regretted ever falling for you.”

He pulls away, a gentler, softer smile now tugging his lips up.

“God, you made me sappy! My god, my soup!” 

Even without the warmth of his embrace, you could feel it radiate in the small space of the kitchen. You continued your work as Jin fuzzed about the seaweed soup behind you, bathing in the domesticity of it all.

Your phone vibrates loudly in your bag on the island counter. Wiping your hand on your apron, you opened it to see Jimin’s messages.

           [18:56] Mimi: seokjin hyung told me to buy the strongest alcohol             [18:57] Mimi: any idea why he’s being weird?            [18:57] You: I’ll tell jin that you called him weird            [18:57] You: but yes            [18:57] You: I’ll tell you all later why            [18:58] Mimi: 🤨            [18:58] Mimi: not if I get you drunk in the first ten minutes            [18:58] You: I’d like to see you try, pretty boy

Your phone vibrated again. Namjoon had texted you, seeing the preview you rolled your eyes.

            [18:59] Joonie: Seokjin hyung didn’t say but I already figured it out             [18:59] Joonie: You'd hear enough from Yoongi hyung later but            [18:58] Joonie: I told you so            [18:58] You: I hope you trip and fall on shit🥰            [18:59] Joonie: Love you too, noona😁            [18:59] You: blocked🚫

“I'm not seeing enough chopping, young lady. Get back to your station!” Jin jokingly scolds. With a laugh, you return to your spot.

By the time some of the boys arrived—except Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, no doubt pre-gaming somewhere—it was already ten and some of the dishes were plated, ready to be eaten in the dining room. If it wasn't for both your and Jin's advanced thinking to ready the bowl of rice and their plates beforehand, they would have starved to death as Yoongi dramatically puts it before blaming Hoseok for draining them out the whole day.

The man in question just laughed in response before shrugging and rebuking their ‘accusations’, saying it wasn't even that hard. To this, Yoongi grumbled under his breath and Namjoon rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, the maknaes entered, cheeks all flushed except for Jimin who was holding up a bag full of canned alcohol as if it was game from an all-day hunt.

You thanked Jimin silently for drinking the birthday boy tipsy enough to make the dinner energetic instead of the awkwardness you thought it'd be due to what happened a few days ago. There's fleeting eyes you've caught in between jokes he made, either pouring with adoration or longing, you tried to not to pay it much mind.

But of course, the alcohol pouring could only go for so long before you're all lounging in the living room to talk about anything that comes to mind. It was half an hour short from the clock tickling to twelve, signifying Jungkook's actual birthday.

The conversation started off tame with Taehyung questioning the animals who sleep standing to something more elaborate with Yoongi asking everyone's opinion about some decrypt conspiracy theory surrounding the rich of the west. It was all fun and games when Taehyung, lost in his own mind running with the most random thought, sluggishly pointed at you and asked:

“Wh-why aren't you checking your phone? G-Guwon hyung haven't been texting you yet?”

Many heads turned to you who was practically boneless in between a tipsy Hoseok and a still sober Yoongi. You didn't even need to look to know the look of concern Jin was throwing your way.

But everything was hazy, your head throbbing from the alcohol. The words slipped past your lips before you could think about it.

“We parted ways… He accused me of sleeping around when I said I didn't want to go on a trip with him tomorrow ‘cause I didn't want to skip Jungkookie's birthday.”

Hoseok patted your shoulder and Yoongi nodded, face indifferent as usual. Despite the reaction of the boys on both sides, not everyone in the circle held the same opinion it seems.

“You didn't have to decline it, noona. You-you’ve been with us for years, missing one wouldn't hurt me much.”

Jungkook's voice was softer as if he had sobered up from the revelation and you waved him away.

“What are you saying? I couldn't leave when we weren't alright.” You glimpsed at Jin before continuing. “Besides, he was planning to propose and I'm glad he couldn't anymore.”

In your drunken mind, the information didn't carry much weight but the pin drop silence following your words did, you guessed that it must've been. However, it didn't last long when Taehyung jumped up to his feet and punched the air as if Korea just scored the final score in FIFA.

The boys look at him with wide eyes, shocked by his reaction. Jimin recovers and tries to tug him down but a drunk Taehyung is determined, with a will stronger than a monk's resilience and patience, no one could stop him from doing what he wanted.

And that was bumping his glass on your forehead, a little harder than it should've been if he was sober and you reel back, a hand over your forehead.

“Noona! you're free again! Do you know what that means?!”

“Ok that's enough for you tonight. Let's get you to bed.” Jimin says, chuckling awkwardly as he stands behind his best friend, wrapping his arms around his waist before dragging him away.

“Why? Can't I just congratulate noona from recognizing something was off instead of ignoring it like most do? Noona,” He turned to you, bottom lip jutted out. “It's not bad that I'm celebrating right?”

Seokjin’s laugh was nervous when he rose to usher the man away as well. “Alright, lets all calm down so we don't accidentally say something while drunk.”

“Fuck yeah! I-I don’t even know why I even believed his lies, he’s a lawyer for fucks sake!”

“Not that it ever stopped you before. I still don't understand why you couldn't have married one of us instead.” Jungkook cuts in, suddenly irritated.

Somehow, the tension in the room grew tenfold and everyone sits up, alert and ready to interfere if their youngest decides to let the alcohol take control of him. Your brain clears once it registered the annoyance in his voice, heart dropping to the soles of your feet.

“Jungkook—”

“I just think it's a bullshit excuse and you know it. You told that to Jin-hyung four years ago and have repeated it ever since. We’re all adults now, we can handle a little rejection and who’s to say we can’t date when we’re the only idol running the company. You say it's because you don’t want to choose but aren’t you just instilling false hope in us?” 

He stood as he grew more agitated but Jin pushed him down, eyes stern as he stared down at their youngest. Seeing the conflict brew between them, the growing guilt built by years of spending time with them reawakened.

It tied your stomach in a knot and felt like a building had dropped onto your heart.

As if sensing your emotions, Yoongi’s hand found your shoulder to give it a squeeze.

“You’re not thinking straight so stop it,” Jin excuses as he turns to you with an apologetic smile. “He’s just drunk, he doesn’t—”

“I know what I’m saying and I think you’re being too biased here hyung!”

“Jungkook…” Hoseok calls from next to you, voice low, a warning.

“You too! She’s also your friend, why aren’t you pointing out how she’s just playing with us? Why are you only calling me out?”

“Because you’re being a stupid drunk right now, Jungkook. Stand down .” Yoongi ordered, voice firm and warning. His arms are crossed as he stared their youngest down but the maknae wasn’t intimidated by it, if anything, the fire in the older man’s eyes only fueled the anger boiling within him.

In years you’ve watched over them, never once has Yoongi scolded their youngest past Run BTS contents, leaving the reprimanding to their oldest and leader. For him to call him out and seeing them grow agitated by each other’s presence, dread loomed over you with your nightmares threatening to come true. 

This isn’t how tonight’s party was supposed to go.

“Isn’t there anyone who’d agree with me at how absurd all of this is?!” His head snapped at Namjoon who’s watching with a careful eye. “Hyung, surely you can also see it!”

Throughout the exchange, Namjoon had sat back and watched the interaction from the sidelines instead of interfering on the first hint of a fight breaking out. Even when the situation becomes a little aggressive, he stays silent but you don’t doubt that he’d be the first to stand if the disagreement becomes volatile and inching towards physical.

That's what he always has done, observed and let the high rise of emotions eventually tides down to a calm on their own. He's a leader, he's supposed to be fair and to do so, he must first understand both sides before taking action. He also trusts his own team to temper their own ire after years of being together.

But now that he's forced to join the argument, he sighed and stood. Seokjin stepped away as he approached their youngest with both hands placed on his shoulders to sit him back down. 

Obediently, Jungkook follows.

“While I do see where you’re coming from, I think it's a bit unfair that you’re blaming her for being scared.” Jungkook opens his mouth but a firm shake of Namjoon’s head shuts him up. “Don’t start again. There’s a power imbalance here kid. If her choosing someone could cause a problem, we’d get off scot free but not her. In the eyes of the company, she’s disposable—”

“But she’s not.”

“She is. In their eyes at least. By having her around causing problems for us, she’s nothing but a thorn in their side that they should remove. If she had dated one of us and eventually broke up, it would cause an awkwardness and riff between guys especially if it ended on a bad note and BigHit won't stand for it. You know how important this job is for her, right?”

They stared at each other for a long while, both unrelenting in silence. You all waited with bated breath, Namjoon was the only one who could diffuse the situation and if he fails, then who else could possibly calm the maknae down?

Turning to the clock, you bit your lip at the time.

It was nearing Jungkook's actual birthday, three minutes short before both hands ticked to twelve.

Which meant it would have to start during the denouement of an argument. The thought planting discomfort in your stomach. Such a happy celebration shouldn't be welcomed like this.

In the midst of raised voices and pointing fingers, Taehyung has completely sobered up from where he sat between Jimin’s thighs, staring beady eyed at the situation in his friend’s arms. Sensing your gaze, he turned to you with a sheepish, apologetic smile when Jungkook's heavy sigh broke through the silence.

His head fell to his chest as Namjoon removed his hands from his shoulders yet his eyes remained on their youngest’s hunched form.

“You get what we're trying to say now, do you?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Anything you want to say, gguk?” Namjoon was talking to him like he was a kindergarten teacher and you both were kids who fought on the sandbox for the shovel, warm and understanding but the disappointment in his tone is clear as day.

Jungkook doesn't reply but he shoots up to his feet, surprising Hoseok next to you, with eyes still trained on the floor.

When he did look up to meet your gaze, it was brief and cut off by a deep bow. You reached your hands out, trying to stop him from doing so but Yoongi took one of your hands and pinned them down between his and your thighs.

Jungkook never had to bow for you and it felt wrong seeing him bent down to apologize.

“I-I’m sorry noona, I—” He trails off.

In his speechlessness in a room full of people who—while understanding where he comes from—stood behind you, he clams up and then in a flash, he’s gone, bolting from the living room and skipping up the stairs. The sound of his heavy footfalls echoing like the clock ticking down to his birthday.

The argument has been dissolved, yet it left a bitter taste on your tongue, it made you feel queasy having everyone back you up without reprimanding you as well. It was true, what Jungkook said. 

Weren't you practically leading them on by not choosing anyone? No matter how unintentional it must be, if he thinks that way then maybe everyone else in the group does, just silently.

You turned to the clock again. A minute closer to the next day.

Frustration made you want to pull your hair out but the long, lithe fingers that have entangled with yours in the middle of it all, forbade you from doing so. As if he could hear the internal debate between logic and emotions, Yoongi gave you a comforting squeeze.

But it didn't feel right, you shouldn't be sitting on your ass while Jungkook blamed himself for expressing his own opinion, sure it was a bit aggressive but you understood his frustration.

“Jungkook!” You called out, rising to your feet to follow him when Yoongi tightened his hold on your wrist and shook his head.

“He needs time to process, leave him be.”

Yet despite this, you shrugged his hold off and followed the youngest’s heavy footfalls upstairs and presumably into his room. You caught onto him in the hallway, with the door to his room opened and half of his body already inside.

“Jungkook, let us talk.”

“I-I don't want to see you right now, noona please.”

The desperation to correct the wrongs gives you a short burst of energy and you catch his wrist.

“Jungkook please, I—”

You heard the joyful chime of the clock downstairs before you heard the sweet jingles of bells.

Then you felt it.

Electric jolts shoot up from your connected hands, waking every cell and your mind awake and you almost keel over from the wave of relieving warmth washing over your body. There’s now a low hum accompanying the bells chiming in the background, the soft harmony between them sending shivers down your spine. 

You've thought of first meetings like those scenes in Hollywood movies where a kaleidoscope of colors explodes behind your eyelids, like fireworks celebrating the precious moment where the protagonists finally meet and fireworks shoot up to the sky. They talked of a brief moment of reprieve from reality, the world slowing down and feeling the most calmed you've ever been with your soulmate in hand.

Like your soul finally recognizing its pair and suddenly, everyone became a blur in the background.

Yet when you stared back at Jungkook's mirrored astonishment, your stomach bottomed out.

Because no way in hell, after all this time, you're soulmates.

[ilikeredcars]

Two hearts, one love

Charles Leclerc x Wife!Reader

Summary: Formula's one cutest couple also happens to be between a reporter and a certain pilot in red

Warnings: Broken bone (leg)

An: Hiiiiii!! I'm very very proud of this work (so if you don't like it pls don't tell me 😌) anywhoss, just remembering yall that I'm brazilian so English is not my first language, that means you have to forgive me if I make any mistakes LOL, ENJOYYY!

Being a reporter for Formula One truly isn't easy, but you love it and always did. You were indeed always fascinated by all the cars, drivers, teams and everything that had to do with the sport, so it wasn't surprising to anyone when you graduated college and soon got a job as a reporter to a highly successful TV channel. Your job was great, you could do together the two things you loved most, work for TV and Formula One. And that is how you met the third thing you love most: Charles Leclerc. He had just signed with Scuderia Ferrari when you two met. It was your first year as a field reporter, which meant you went around interviewing drivers, mechanics and team principals, basically anyone that you passed through who had time and knowledge enough to be interviewed. The day you two officially met was in the first Grand Prix of the season, it was qualifying day and Charles had just done amazingly well for such a young driver, fortunately the universe was on your side and you managed to get a interview with him, il predestinato, all dressed in red and with sweat dripping from his hair to his forehead and onto the sides of his face, that was the first time you saw him so close, and the moment he looked inside your eyes, the driver knew that the purpose of his life, was to make you his wife. And he did it, two years later you married in a beautiful church just outside Monaco, and it was the happiest day of your lives.

Current days

It is race week! And you couldn't be more happy with the excitement of every fan who passes by your side, you just love everything the paddock has to offer, maybe except for the giant cast on your right leg that couldn't go by unnoticed even if you tried. The week before you were walking home and in your way you encountered an old lady whose cane had fallen, without thinking twice you bent down to pick up the object for the poor woman who could clearly barely bend down, unfortunately for you, a car next to you lost control and hit you hard, fortunately he was not driving at a big speed and so the only injury you received was a broken leg, you were released from the hospital a day later with a cast on your leg and a crutch. And that's how you ended up here, this is officially your first race as Charles' wife and not as a reporter and you couldn't be more excited, with Charles help you got out of the car and was immediately flooded by questions and fans wanting to take a picture with your husband or wanting an autograph, you told him it was okay and gave him space to talk to the fans for about ten minutes. After some of the fans went away he walked slowly toward you with a giant smile on his face, "Sorry about that mon amour, let's get you to the garage okay?"

"Okay" You smiled and gave him a small kiss to his cheek, "I love you so much angel" "And I love you more bébé"

As you were walking to the red garage that was near the end of the paddock a reporter stopped you and you immediately recognized her as Rachel, the girl who was filling in for you until you took off your cast and could go back to work.

"Charles! YN! How are you love? Are you getting better after the accident?" She asked smiling towards you. She had a microphone in her hand and the cameraman had the camera pointed at you, Rachel can be your friend but this was still an interview and you had to be careful with what you and Charles said.

"Hey Rach! Fortunately I'm great! The accident wasn't too bad and I'm not feeling pain at all!"

"That is awesome YN!"

"Yeah! And let me tell you a secret..." You felt your husband's hand wrap around your waist and smiled. "...I have this great guy by my side who is helping me with everything I need!"

You turned to Charles who gave you a passionate smile and slowly pulled you in to give you a loving kiss (appropriate for the cameras around you, of course), you smiled and found home in his embrace.

"Okay okay, let's let the lovebirds be! Haha! It was great seeing you both. Good luck on the race today Charles and hope you get better YN!"

"Bye bye Rach! Thank you!"

"Merci Rachel" Said Charles before turning once again to you and helping you continue your way toward the garage. As soon as you entered the space you grabbed your husband's hand carefully.

"I love you so so much and I'm so proud of you my love. You have no ideia how much I look up to you"

"Je t'aime tellement mon ange, je l'ai toujours fait et je le ferai toujours"

*I love you so much my angel, I always have and I always will*

[arislary]

Brewing Chemistry (2/5) Han Jisung x (f) reader

Synopsis: Reader and Jisung are excitedly preparing for their long-awaited date. Both of them are eagerly getting ready, but a series of unfortunate events begin to unfold. Reader, despite her excitement, is dealing with a particularly rough day—facing work stress, and a series of minor mishaps that has shaken her confidence. She begins to feel insecure about how she looks, wondering if Jisung will still find her attractive or if her bad mood will ruin the night. She tries to push these feelings aside, but they linger, causing anxiety about whether she'll end up actually going on the date.

Pairing: Han Jisung x (f) reader

Genre: fluff, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, coffee-shop au, non-idol au, meet-cute au

Warning: fluff, smut, unprotected smut (wrap tf up!), slight dom/sub, slight Dom Jisung, slight Sub reader, cute nicknames, spit kink, makeouts, dry-humping, i lied about it being a slow-burn, moving too fast?, insecurity, slight body-image issues from reader, pants don't fit, crying, whiny Jisung, whiny reader, reader is forever clenching.

WC: 2.2k

AN: this could totally act as stand alone drabble, but I enjoyed writing about coffee shop Jisung x reader way too much. If you want to see more too, let me know please and I'll try to set up a taglist. Be patient with me as I do not have a schedule out for chapters yet! UNEDITED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4 -> Part 5

I wiped my makeup off for what felt like the fifth time and almost started crying. My date with Jisung was in less than 30 minutes and I felt like everything that could have gone wrong that day, had. I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, wearing just my robe and undergarments. 

From the spilled coffee on my desk, to the passive aggressive email from my fellow team lead, to my favorite lunch spot unfortunately being closed. By the time I got home, it felt like the universe was laughing at me as my favorite pair of pants felt too tight to be comfortable and even if they did, none of my shirts felt right and I didn’t even want to look at the offending dresses on the floor. 

I looked over at my phone and almost pouted. For the better part of the week since meeting last Tuesday, every text exchanged between Jisung and I, I had been able to continue being this self-assured, confident woman, but right now I just wanted to cry and be snuggled in my bed. Conversation with Jisung flowed too easily; the very awkward and cute boy from the coffee shop was replaced with this funny, flirty, charming guy. Still slightly awkward and cute though, but now I didn’t know if I could do this date anymore, it all just felt too much. It was way too early for me to show him any of this, I just didn’t want to do it today. I grabbed it with shaky hands and pulled up our last message thread. 

Jisung 🐿️👀🥴: Really looking forward to tnt! Pick u up at 7!

I looked at the time at the corner of my phone. The 6:40 glaring at me. I went back to our thread before pressing on the call button. It barely rang before the soothing sound of Jisung’s voice rang through. 

“_______! You know we’re about to see each other in like 5 minutes,” the chuckle he released had your insides twisting and left a large desire to hear it again. “That excited for our date?” That did it. I could feel the ball beginning to form in my throat. 

“Jisung…”

“What’s wrong?” My stomach dropped hearing the immediate worry in his voice.

“I, uh- I’m gonna have to reschedule actually on tonight”

“W-why? Is everything okay?” And now it felt like I had been kicked, I grimaced my hand coming up to cover my throat, the lump growing even bigger in my throat. I cleared it. 

“Actually-“ I took a deep breath before a small whimper escaped. “I’m so sorry Jisung, I just- I had a horrible day and I feel so awful. Nothing has gone right, fuck-“ the first hiccup escapes before I can’t hold it back anymore. “-And then my coffee spilled, a-and my favorite pen stopped working, a-and fucking Kevin, god he’s such an asshole! It wasn’t even my client!” I gasped out, sucking in air harshly through my nose, eyes starting to feel so swollen. “My clothes don’t fit and my makeup looks awful and now I’m saying all of this to you. God I must sound like such a loser-“

“Okay, hey, no, don’t say that, Ariana.”

I sniffled and wiped a hand across my eyes. 

“It’s true-“

“No, baby, it’s not.” 

Baby? It was the first time he’s called me that. Granted we’ve only known each other for a week, but I felt the weight of it all the same. Don’t get me wrong, he was a flirt and made it very clear throughout our conversations to know what his intentions were, but to hear him call me such a name. The intimacy of it left me feeling a tingle in my stomach and had me clenching. 

“It’s okay, trust me. It sounds like today was really hard huh?”

I sniffled and sank down to my plush rug. My left hand rubbing at the smooth fabric. It was like with just that sentence, a cooling wave washed over me. 

“Yea.”

“Kevin is also such an asshole!” A giggle bursted from my lips, falling to the side, keeping my phone pressed tightly to my face so that I wouldn’t miss anything from his velvety voice. “But most of all, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable on our first date.”

I rubbed a finger under my nose and pouted. God, could he be more perfect, he was just so nice and sweet, no one has ever been that way with me before. 

“Baby?”

“Hmmm?” I hummed out to him, feeling myself slipping into that fuzzy feeling. 

“C-could I-“ he cleared his throat, “could I maybe come over still? Would you like that?” 

I bite my lip, one hand playing with the strap of my robe. 

“Please.”

“Thank God, I’m downstairs in the parking lot-“ I sit up up quickly from where I had been laying down, eyes flashing to my bedroom door.  “I’ll be up in a second okay?”

I whimpered and nodded my head, before rolling my eyes, he can’t see you. 

“Okay- b-but stay on the phone, okay?” Rising to my feet, rushing to put my slippers on to head out to the front door. 

“Of course, baby.”

It was less than a minute before there was a gentle knock on my door, but hearing his breathing on the other line helped ease my stress and finally Jisung cooed at me to open the door. I ended the call and rushed to unlock it to meet him. Worried brown eyes met mine before I was suddenly wrapped up in a warm embrace. Jisung’s arms wrapped around the tops of my shoulders, pulling me tightly against his frame. 

He was dressed comfortably in a black hoodie and sweats. His wired frames sitting crookedly on his nose. I breathed in his comforting scent, my own arms wrapping around his tiny waist, face burrowing into his chest. 

“Hi,” he whispered against my head, his warm breath fanning against my ear and the side of my neck. The shiver that ran through me shook even him and he only pulled me tighter to him. 

“Hi.”

He let out a small groan and pulled back to look at my face. His bottom lip tug tightly in between his teeth. There was a faint blush on his face and from where we were pressed against each other, I could feel the rapid speed of his heartbeat. 

“And to think I would’ve missed out on this,” his hands curling at the satin fabric of my robe. A blush rose to my cheeks as I realized what I was still dressed in. I let go of his waist, my hands coming up touch the tie still tightly secured. I scurried out of his embrace, calling out to him.

“Give me two seconds!” I popped my head out of my bedroom to peer back at him from down the hall. “Oh! Also please make yourself at home!”

In less than a minute, I rush back out, this time dressed in shorts and a large graphic tee. I found Jisung looking at the collection of albums and books on my shelf. I had to stop for a second and stare. He just looked too good. God, seriously who looks like that!

“Coffee?” He startles, turning around to face me, eyes wide and mouth open. I wince, hands going up in a surrender position. “Sorry, I-“

“Yea, I’d love some,” he sounds breathless and my eyes flash up to meet his. He hasn’t looked away from my legs. I squirm in place before walking over to the kitchen area. I start up the stove top coffee maker, fighting everything in me to chew on a fingernail as his presence enters the kitchen. I could feel him come up behind me before the hesitant touch of his hands on my hips occur. 

“Is this okay?” He asks as he pulls me back against his chest, arms wrapping further around me. I nod and lay my hands on top of his covered arms, hands forming fists in his sleeves. His head comes down to snuggle into my neck. “Do you wanna tell me more about your day?”

I pinch at his sleeve, my head falling back on his shoulder as he begins to sway us. 

“It was just- it was so tiring. I felt like it was a lot of small things that normally don’t bother me, but…” I trailed off, feeling a lump forming once again in my throat. 

“But it was too much today?” I pouted, nodding my head, wanting to turn myself in his arms to bury further into his warmth. 

“Yes,” it was cracked whisper that had Jisung turning his head, nose digging into my hair and tightening his arms around me. “Sungie,” I whined out causing him to gasp and grip me even harder. 

“Baby,” he rumbled in my ear, turning me around. His forehead rested against mine, nose lightly brushing against mine. “Thank you for being so honest with me today. You didn’t have to, but I’m so glad you were. Thank you for letting me know and be with you today anyways,” he squeezed me to him, his hands feeling needy and desperate on my body. “I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to today, I really don’t care how we spend it, I just- I want to be with you and honestly being like this with you, I just- ______, I- baby please tell me you feel it too? I’m not alone in this right?” I shook my head already before he could finish his sentence. My hands gently ran up his arms, feeling the muscle that lay hidden underneath the thick fabric, to his shoulders before entwining behind his neck. I brought my face closer to him, lips grazing his. 

“No, I- it’s not just you,” he whimpered, his hand now dragging my face close to finally have our lips meet. I pushed myself closer to him as he wasted no time to grabbed at my thighs and lift me up on to my counter. Fuck, would kissing him be like this every time? Jisung’s hand dug into my hip, bringing me flush against him as his other hand found its home nestled in my hair at the base of my neck to move me as he wanted. I could feel the heat pulsating in my core, tingles shooting all throughout my body begging for a release. I panted as his lips left mine, no doubt bruised from the dominating pressure, only to gasp loudly as he began to harshly suck, lick and bite at my neck. I pulled roughly at his hair feeling his hips rut against mine. “Fuck.”

Jisung gave me a harsh bite, mumbling against my neck, “language, princess.” 

I moaned loudly, my own hips now thrusting up against him. Jisung hissed, not hiding the hard length in his sweats as he began a sensual roll of his hips to meet mine. I could feel the rough drag of my underwear with each thrust against my clit, the fabric helping to bring me closer to where I wanted to go, but it just wasn’t enough. My hand slid from his hair, nails dragging down his chest, catching lightly at his right nipple through the fabric of his hoodie, causing a deep groan to leave his mouth. My hand continued further down, fingers just beginning to play with the straps of his sweatpants when a sudden loud bubbling noise and water hissing sounded from behind Jisung. 

I gasped withdrawing my hand and sitting up straight to push Jisung off so I could turn the stove off. He stilled my movements, grabbing my hands that pressed into his shoulders, and placing a rushed kiss to my knuckles. He quickly turned, reaching over to flick the dial off. Turning back to me, chest heaving. I must have looked like a mirror-image of him as I tried to calm my own rapid beating heart. My lips felt swollen and neck felt exceedingly warm. There was a steady leak trickling out of me and I clenched my legs to stop it, hands gripping at the ends of my shirt.

“So…”

“Coffee right?” He looked at me with a slight smirk, his eyes playful as he came back towards me, pecking my lips. He pulled back to gaze at me. So many emotions rushing through his eyes that it was hard to focus on any of them, but it all left me feeling warm and sharp pings in my lower stomach. I wanted to rub my thighs together, but a part of me also didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of just how much he affects me. He leaned his hands on either side of me, his face same level as me. His brown eyes were blown wide as he continued to stare at each detail of my face like he was trying to memorize it. I tilted my head, a content smile coming to rest on my face. Oh yea I could definitely get used to this. 

[thomine]

say it, love : arataki itto

dating itto is always fun and sunshine. you enjoy every moment together with him. surely he will want to save the relationship too, right?

pair: arataki itto / reader info: general audiences, angst, canon universe, established relationship, dysfunctional relationship word count: 1.5k words series: day 3 of angstpril / prompt: heartbreak links: read on ao3 / work tag

Itto has been avoiding you—sort of. You can't reason why it feels that way when you have an arm looped with his while checking out the menu for Uyuu Restaurant. You can, however, be certain that Itto is avoiding a conversation that needs to be had. In fact, you're queuing at the restaurant in hopes the fancy meal will put him in a mood to talk about it.

But you need to first find a cure for your sullenness brought by the long queue. You've anticipated this chance for a whole week, and every minute teases your patience.

Must the sky also be a beautiful blend of purple and yellow? It pulls you into your memories, resurrecting feelings of the past that salt your tongue with a bitter aftertaste.

The sky mimics the night you accepted Itto's confession. Since then, you've been the happiest person to exist. He involved you in his adventures—no matter how silly—and your name is an appendage to his endless sobriquets. Itto and you: an inseparable pair, further proven by your seamless integration as a proud member of his gang.

With little money for fanciful fun, both of you mixed meals from popup carts and had a picnic at the outskirts of the city for a first date. It was a humble arrangement with everlasting memories like Itto nervously holding your hand. That night, he hollered about his love, but his green eyes on you were the loudest declarations.

Now, he's invested in the menu. His eyes juggle between a picture of assorted vegetables and another of corn.

"Do you think Ushi will eat corn?" he thinks out loud, eyebrows scrunching as he taps his chin. "This option is… It's just too colourful."

You do not agree with the price of the choice he's leaning for, but neither do you have the strength to raise your tongue. You'll play it safe than add a petty disagreement, one that might drag till the dining table. You only want to talk about the topic. There is no luxury of time since you can't afford much and Itto shreds through every meal.

When should you start addressing it then? You can bring it up at the end, while eating desserts. Melting ice cream parallels your current situation hence a great opener, but since it's at the end of the dinner, Itto can gobble his food and leave like the other times you've tried to bring it up. Maybe fate will be nice and offer a couple seated nearby that you can comment on, although it should be plan B since you don't want to rely on miracles. You're risking a month's pay for this. In the end, you decide to bring it up when both of you get your main dishes.

While he continues browsing, you hear him mutter the names of the other gang members. "They're going to love this so much! We haven't had unagi in years!"

You frown. Will this queue go any faster?

Just in time, a server pops his head into view. He holds a warm smile, facing your boyfriend.

"If it isn't The One and Oni Arataki Itto and his beloved. Welcome!"

"Ah, bro! Long time no see!" Itto wants to give a hug, but your arm around his might have caused him to rethink his offer, so he gives an apologetic look to his "brother". Considering how the server doesn't know your name, he was probably an unfortunate stranger trapped as the audience when Itto professed the good news of his reciprocated feelings on the city streets years back.

"Help me out here," Itto says as he shows the side dishes on the menu. "I'm looking at these two for my cow pal. At first I thought corns would be nice, but—" and he sucks in a breath through gritted teeth before his voice lowers to a whisper "—are corns poisonous for cows? Not that I don't know that, but I just wanted to check."

"This is not a place to share recommendations. Let's head in and I'll bring you to your table first. You're just in luck as the table available has a lovely view. It's is great for a date."

You politely smile.

The server then side-steps to reveal a bright and warm interior. Patrons fill every table and laughter mingles with the aroma of freshly cooked meals. It influences your stomach to twist yet rumble. You were confident that you could get this issue settled by tonight, but seeing the good atmosphere, you aren't so sure if you're willing to ruin such a rare moment.

However, you're dragged from your thoughts as Itto barges into the restaurant, and your linked hand forces you forward as well. You nearly trip over the step at the entrance if not for Itto's sturdy arm. He does cast a glance of worry at you and asks if you are okay, but you answer with guilt knowing you will return that question to him in a few minutes. Hopefully he will be truthful, not like you, lying through a smile that you're fine when there is annoyance climbing your throat.

The server leads you to a nice table by the window. Through the glass, you get a perfect view of Inazuma City accompanied by the mystic sky, now darker. And yet feelings of your first date with Itto linger in your heart like a festering wound that prevents you to feel the present.

"I would like this colourful plate," Itto says, breaking you out of your daze. "And I would like this—to take away—as well as this, and this, and—oh! Definitely this."

Your wallet trembles, but you stay quiet and wait for your turn before you get a meal cheaper than your usual. No desserts. Around you, tables are filled with families or large gathering of friends.

When the server leaves, an awkward silence sprawls itself across the distance between you and Itto. He's busy playing with cutleries while you look around, envious of the chatter. Perhaps you should have ordered appetizers, but you never expected things to turn awkward.

"How was your day?" You ask him.

"It was great," he says, rolling his 'r' while placing a plate, spoon and a fork on your side of the table. "The boys must be really hungry though since we worked a total of 10 jobs today. Probably cleaned like hundreds of windows and reared thousands of foxes. Wouldn't you believe that?"

You hum, unsure what to say. Ever since you had a full-time job, you couldn't spend time with Itto as you'd like, but you believed—no, believe—it was for the better.

"It's not much on my end," you reply to his non-existing question. "Work has been stale for me. Your jobs sound way more fun, but I like the stability of what I do."

"You should have been there. The boys kept mentioning you. Nothing is impossible for Arataki the Great and I make everything fun, but it would have been, you know, cooler if you were around."

"I know," you sigh, "but I'm saving up my off-days so we can travel. Remember how we wanted to go to Mondstadt?"

"Oh! We can totally do an Onikabuto Competition like what I did when I went to Liyue."

"The beetle battles can happen, but wouldn't you want to sight-see? I hear there is an area where it never stops snowing. We'll need to get warm gear. They're costly though…"

"Ah, don't sweat it. If we can't go, we won't go. Simple as that."

I want to see it still, you think, but swallow your protest.

Before your thoughts can wilt from anger, the food arrives. Your mood to talk drops more than your appetite. You take a bite regardless and try to savour its rich flavour without the bland meals from the pop up cart haunting your taste buds.

Say it. You think.

The restaurant is loud and bustling, laughter sprinkling the ambience. You miss the chirp of crickets and the gentle singing of birds mixed with Itto's booming voice.

This date is the fanciest, most beautiful moment you've ever gotten thanks to your efforts and you're miserable.

Say it.

You really should talk to Itto—as planned—yet your throat is dry and you raise your hand to call a server for a glass of water.

Say it.

After taking a large gulp, you know it's hopeless for you to open your mouth. You've been trying. It's not you that isn't doing anything.

You look at your boyfriend who is happily munching on his meal with no care in the world. His smile is the largest you've seen since you've decided to pursue a lone journey for a future with him.

Say it, love. You plead.

He can't be content with this, can he?

Say it, Itto.

How long can someone pretend like nothing is wrong?

author’s note: how does mixing itto and angst taste like? tastes like a silently dysfunctional relationship. you know how those childhood trauma books are all like "it's not about what happened but what didn't happen?" yeah. itto and angst, to me, would be the things that didn't happen, which is honestly more unsettling than your typical angsty plots, so expect another angsty itto piece if i'm in the mood for it.

work is inspired by say so, by the same willows.

[darklinaforever]

Anti-Targaryen people are really sick...

A headcanon that the Targaryens brought peace to Westeros ? Someone hasn't read the books...

I'm not even going to bother debunking the bullshit about Rhaegar other than to say that Lyanna was 16 and not 14. But hey, that's common among these people to lower Lyanna's age to further victimize her.

We also love the fact of never taking into account the rules of the feudal world / GRRM to impose a modern perspective...

Denying that Targaryen women had more freedom in the age of dragons, etc.

Saying that the Targaryens are worse than other families, under the pretext that they were in power, when no.

Once again, their reign brought peace. Before their arrival, the lords of Westeros went to war every week. The Targaryens did not bring war to Westeros ON THE CONTRARY !

“But it’s not good that they conquered Westeros anyway!” Okay, so the best thing was to let Westeros be destroyed by lords more hungry for power than the others who were at war all the time I suppose...

Knowing that in addition a prophecy essentially predicting the coming apocalypse was added to the picture.

Of course the Targaryens are so horrible for stopping the war between the lords and trying to save Westeros from this prophecy...

Supremacist and racist ? Just because they talk about preserving their bloodline and magical blood ? I remind you that the Targaryens once again married more outside their family than within their family... We will come back to racism.

Plus, all the houses in Westeros tend to feel superior, does that make them racist ?

It's a noble and lordly thing in general, nothing to do with racism !

Implying that conqueror goes hand in hand with colinizer when NO.

Also the fact that women marry young has nothing to do with the Targaryens... It's a thing of society in general.

Not to mention that the Targaryens are the ones who hurt women the most with some example who are in fact not more numerous than other members of the other Houses of Westeros...

Once again there were so many assholes among the Targaryen than in the other Houses.

And the treatment of Targaryen women got worse when the dragons disappeared because before they had much more freedom as a result of their existence.

You just have to read the books to realize it !

Not to mention the fact that this person can spit on ancient Valyria all they want, but it's definitely suggested in the work that women were treated better there than in Westeros, which makes sense when you consider sees how Targaryen women were in Westeros compared to other women before the loss of the dragons and therefore that Targaryens unfortunately adhere more and more to the traditions of Westeros, to which they had already acclimatized, which the colonizers do not do...

But I guess these canon facts don't agree with the view of the Targaryens being the worst with women so we'll just say it doesn't exist to demonize them ?

With the logic of these people, the end of GRRM's story is just going to be the destruction of House Targaryen or of its entire universe ? Like the apocalypse is going to happen and everyone is going to die ? 😂

Are they stupid or what ?

No, because let's be honest, the anti-Targ people who try to qualify their remarks like this person by saying that everyone is bad don't really mean it since they always try to make the Targ worse for obscure reasons.

Even though they loudly proclaim that everyone is horrible I doubt that at the end of GRRM's story they want everyone to lose, not at all.

The reality is that they just want the Targaryens eradicated and nothing more. Frankly, if GRRM one day finishes his story, or simply delivers what he had planned for the end... all these people risk being deeply disillusioned.

I can't stand all these idiots anymore...

[anjelicawrites]

Soft I

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x Osferth 

Synopsis: soft smut between the boys. Set in the poly relationship universe

Warnings: Smut 

A/N: at this point I can only hope the High Valyrian translator I use works

Waking up with Aemond curled around his body, means feeling like being in a furnace. The amount of body heat Aemond gives off, always, is concerning if you don't know him; with summer approaching Osferth wakes up sweating with Aemond curled behind him, his face against the nape of his neck, arms around his midriff. You are away for a week with your students for a trip to Athens and you should be coming back later in the morning. Your lovers miss you, mostly it's the sharing of your everyday life, all those events, big or small, stupid or serious that they couldn't live with you and you with them. They know you have taken thousands of photos and videos, you three have been Skyping every night, so that you could tell them about your day, but it's not the same. You three are capable of living separate lives, and you do, but it's better when it's evening and you can share them with one another. 

Trying not to wake Aemond, Osferth reaches for his phone on the nightstand to see what time it is; with the way the sun shines from the early morning, it's hard for him to gauge the time. Aemond's arms around his midriff curl tighter and he mmmhs against his nape, trying to cling to sleep. It's Sunday, which means Aemond doesn't have to go to the office and can actually stay in bed longer, asleep, before what Osferth lovingly calls his Sunday ridiculous hair care routine, which is longer than the one he does during the week. Unfortunately Aemond's sleep has always been feather light and his lover's quiet movements are enough to pull him towards awakeness, against his will

"Mmmh, what time is it?" his voice is rough from sleep and last night's activities

"Five in the morning. Go back to sleep" highly unlikely; when Aemond is awake, it is difficult for him to fall back asleep, even with the soft, warm sunlight on his skin

"When does the flight land?" his voice is rough with sleep and a bit slurred against Osferth’s soft skin

"Around seven, I think?"

"Will you make it to the morning Mass?"

Osferth stretches, like a cat in the sun, his muscles feel well used after having made love to Aemond for a big part of the night. He can kiss some more hours of sleep goodbye, though: Aemond's mind is already in gear, albeit still muddled with sleep

"Nope. She'll be back for half past nine-ish. I want to be home when she does". 

You have this strange habit of not wanting them to collect you after a school trip, you want to drive home to decompress and leave at the door as much stress as you can muster. If your lovers are at home, they make it a priority to welcome you back. 

"Besides - Osferth's carries on - my confessor should be around for twelve o'clock Mass. I am due my confession". 

This elicits another soft mmmh form Armond, the kind that Osferth has come to associate with a question the other man has been pondering about for a little while

"Do you tell your confessor about us?" Aemond's arms stiffens around Osferth's body

"I would tell my confessor about us, if I ever consider our love a sin. Our love is holy". 

The answer comes out without hesitation and why would he hesitate, when he is stating the truth? Aemond's arms curl tighter and he kisses Osferth's shoulder, who burrows closer to his body. 

Osferth's movements make his ass grind against Aemond's hard on. Osferth has woken up hard as well, last night's activities hadn't curbed his libido one bit, and the warmth of Aemond's skin on his doesn't help with his situation

"Good morning to your dragon too" he says, eliciting a laugh from Aemond, who is not immune to his terrible sense of humor. 

Osferth turns to face his lover and is welcomed by Aemond's tousled bed hair and his lovely lips, still curled up in happiness. His right eye is open, while the sapphirless one is as closed as the damaged eyelid can permit. It hasn't been a long time since Aemond had felt secure enough to sleep without the sapphire on and Osferth muses that, this kind of intimacy, requires longer to form; it makes him so proud for having created a space with you, where Aemond feels safe enough to show you two all of himself, even what he perceives to be ugly and unlovable. 

"I see that you are awake as well" Aemond says, his hand traveling from Osferth's neck to his chest

"Do you want to do something about that?" he says, catching his wandering hand to kiss it. 

Osferth needs to be careful, because he has a problem with handling Aemond that is the same he has with you: you two are too stubborn for your own good and wouldn't always tell him that you are too sore to function (you two will drive him to an early grave, he just knows it). With Aemond there's the added bonus of his praise kink, Osferth knows he has to trade waters cautiously, to check whether or not Aemond is good to go or if he is soldiering on just to be praised

“Are you sore?” he asks softly, one hand caressing the soft, warm skin of Aemond’s back

“A bit - and he is, the good kind of aching born from passionate lovemaking - go slow?”

Osferth can work with that, loves working with that when the morning is still young and the sun is warming his bones, making him feel all sleepy and warm; he needs soft and deep and passionate and he lets his hand caress the dip of Aemond’s back, until his fingers find his luscious, silky hair and sink there, to massage the scalp, eliciting soft humming. Osferth can feel Aemond’s long finger trailing up and down his front, until they rest on his hip bones, clenching and unclenching there, following the rhythm on his scalp, until their lips connect in a soft, unhurried kiss. Osferth lets himself taste Aemond’s mouth, taking his time to deepen the kiss, waiting for a long moan to slip his tongue to play with his lover’s as his own hands travel to Aemond’s hips to push them against his. Osferth could probably kiss Aemond for hours, just letting his tongue caress his, drinking his soft moans of pleasure whenever the movements brush against his palate or their cocks rub against one another. When their lips separate, Aemond’s only eye is dark with desire and need, his cheeks aflame, his mouth is plush and red and his dark nipples are already stiff, a temptation too big for Osferth to ignore. With soft kisses down the skin of his neck, not covered by the collar, Osferth’s mouth travels to Aemond’s chest, following the path of hickeys he has already left there, kissing each and every one of them apologetically, as Aemond moans deep in his throat, until one stiff nipple is in reach of his lips and he just sucks on it, feeling Aemond’s hips grind against his. He’s never met someone as responsive as Aemond is, it’s such a treat to suck and play with his nipples, knowing the sheer amount of pleasure he derives from it, moans and pleas cascading from his lips, his cock oozing precum 

“Kostilus, ñuha jorrāelagon” please, my love, he begs, but his hands are in Osferth’s short strands, keeping his face to his chest, incapable of stopping the pleasure

“Tell me what you want” Osferth’s eyes cannot leave the heaving chest of his lover, the reddened skin around his nipples a siren’s call

“Ao, jaelan ao” you, I need you is the desperate answer

“I’m here my love, I’m here - Osferth’s hands curl around Aemeond’s hips to bring their bodies together and his lover’s hands grasp the sweaty skin of his back - was it too much teasing?”

“Kessa” the yes is less desperate, but the undercurrent of need is there

“I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to cause you discomfort. May I kiss you again?”

The kiss is deep and slow, mouths softly touching, tongues sliding against one another as their hips move in tandem, cocks leaking precum until the need to breath is too strong and Osferth’s lips find home under Aemond’s jaw, to kiss him there, while delicately pushing on his shoulder to make him roll on his back, exposed to his lover’s eyes.

Aemond’s skin glistens with sweat, his chest, abdomen and tights are littered with hickeys. His cock is painfully hard, leaking precum, his hips cannot stay still under Osferth’s gaze, full of love and desire. Aemond’s skin burns with the need to be touched, he has been starved of physical love and affection for so long, that now he feels every touch tenfold and craves it, his nerve endings screaming at him with need and he raises one hand, calling his lover, who can’t help but descend on him, careful not to box him in, lips kissing and sucking down his torso as Aemond’s arches his back, seeking the pleasure, the contact, the brand of Osferth’s lips on his feverish skin, until his mouth kisses his bellybutton, tongue licking there, to slowly follow his happy trail, to his cock, hard and red, ready to envelope the weeping head

“Daor ñuha jorrāelagon, kesan māzigon” no my love, I will come, leaves his lips like a prayer

“Do you want to come with me?”

“Kessa” he says breathless, his hips jutting up, the need to be filled devours his brain.

Osferth kisses him again with desperation as his hand searches hurriedly for the lube, lost somewhere under the pillows; he moans when Aemond’s soft palm envelops his cock before starting jacking him with languid movements. Osferth’s hips move on their own accord, fluidly following Aemond’s hand, moans escape his lips as pleasure starts pooling in his belly. It is with an herculean effort that he removes his lover’s hand, kissing and licking the palm and fingers as Aemond bites his lower lips savagely, the lilac of his eye completely gone, his cock impossibly hard. Osferth’s hand finds the lube and he pours a liberal amount on his fingers, desperately trying to keep himself together while his fingers find Aemond’s ass, to breach him open again. The muscles there relax easily as Aemond moans, his hands fisting the bed sheets as Osferth scissors him open delicately, helping the muscle accept the intrusion, Aemond’s hips following the rhythm of his lover’s invasion, back arching to meet his lover’s kisses everywhere on his skin, moans and prayers escaping his lips 

“Sir” now he begs, again and again, the pleasure clouding his mind to anything but the need of being filled and owned

“Are you sure?” 

“Osferth!”.

The raw need in the voice of his lover is all he needs to fist his cock, making sure to lube himself up, before his head enters Aemond’s ass slowly.

They both moan when skin meets skin, Osferth has to stop the moment his head is enveloped by Aemond’s muscles, the warmth and pressure too much for him for a second, he needs to breathe and concentrate on his lover’s pleasure and safety. He advances slowly, inch by inch, grabbing Aemond’s hips to stop his trashing, his lover’s body ravaged by pleasure arches and accepts his intrusion until he bottoms out and Aemond’s muscles clamp around him, both their breaths are short, eyes glassy

“Vūjigon nyke”.

How can Osferth refuse to kiss his beloved? Careful of not putting his weight on Aemond, Osferth bends his back forward, until his lips meet his lover’s halfway in a passionate kiss, all tongue and moans of pleasure

“Dīnagon sir kostilus” move now please, Aemond murmurs against his lover’s lips, needing to feel Osferth move inside of him

“Am I hurting you?” his body is screaming at him to start, to take his pleasure from Aemond, but Osferth bites down his own lower lip to focus on Aemond’s face for signs of distress, needing to know he is all right

“Daor, kostilus” no please, he is not lying, he wants to say that but his body takes control, clenching and unclenching around Osferth’s cock, who moans desperately, eyes closed in concentration, hands twin vises around his hips as he starts.

He goes slow and deep, barely retracting from the raging inferno that is his lover, focusing on his prostate, pushing against it and never stopping the continuous pressure, which causes Aemond to moan again and again in pleasure, his hips to follow the languorous way Osferth makes love to him; he feels so warm and full, the pleasure a slow wave that crests and crests, lightning up all his nerve endings until Osferth’s rough palm curls around his cock, making a loose tunnel for him to fuck, his thumb rubbing his head with slow sweeps that make him moan, as Osferth praises him with a broken voice, his own pleasure a tight coil in his belly, ready to snap.

His hips pick a faster, sloppier pace the moment Aemond’s muscles clench, forcing him to spear him open, until Aemond comes with a shout, the pressure too much to bear and Osferth follows him, barely capable of keeping himself upright, the pleasure blinding as he milks Aemond’s cock until not a drop his left.

Osferth loathes to leave Aemond’s warmth and he does it with an apologetic kiss on his lover’s spent lips. Shuffling backwards Osferth observes Aemond’s body, he looks like a fallen angel, hair a halo around him, his body covered in the marks of their lovemaking and seed slowly leaking from his ass. Osferth cannot help himself and licks Aemond’s spent from his abdomen and soft cock, until he is moaning, too incoherent to form words, but capable of responding to the kiss Osferth leaves on his lips, a long shiver caresses his spent body when he can taste himself in his lover’s mouth.

When you come home, hours later, you find them asleep, Osferth’s head on Aemond’s chest, arms around his body, their breaths synchronized as their fair skin is kissed by the sun.

[a-student-out-of-time]

PSA TIME WITH MOD BUBBLES

//I’ve talked a lot about DRDT, and that’s because I’m honestly so blown away by how good it is and how talented the dev is as a creator. At no point have I ever meant to imply that my interpretation of DRDT or the outcome of the story is the only correct one, I’ve only been speculating on it based on the evidence in the text.

//And while I complain a lot about works from creators like LINUJ, that’s only because of writing decisions that either diminish the work’s quality, damage the story and/or characters, or harm whatever messages it’s going for. Even then, I still try to see the good in works I critique and how I think they can be improved, because that's what constructive criticism should be about. My criticisms have never been intended as personal attacks and I’ve been trying to go out of my way to ensure they remain professional and constructive.

//I really don't have a bad word to say about the creator or the fangan itself. I actually want to talk about something else here.

//To be honest, I sympathize with their feelings. The amount of times I've seen posts from people in the fandom taking the piss out of my Switch Theory, mocking it, calling it stupid and me stupid by extension, and spreading misinformation about it? It's a lot. To say nothing about my work on this blog.

//As a small creator myself, I’ve had to develop a thicker skin when it comes to taking criticism or getting hate asks. Early ones I got were pretty harsh, and it did send me into a malaise for many days or weeks at a time, and I had to learn not to try writing when I didn’t feel up to it. Now I have the confidence to challenge bad faith arguments, and I have help from co-creators and friends to improve things.

//I say this because a lot of those asks and a lot of that negativity did affect me and I had to learn to not let it bother me. I still get sad and frustrated, but it’s not a creator-killing attitude for me anymore. That's not always the case every creator, unfortunately.

//Obviously I’m not talking about every single person in the fandom, but I just want to make this clear for fans of any work: please, for the love of all that is good and kind and decent, think about what you say about creators.

//I’m not talking about calling out creators for unrepentant bad behavior, you can and should do that. I’m talking about harassment, entitlement, and even just thoughtlessness commentary that goes into things said about small creators who work on passion projects, who aren’t making money off of it and who are just trying to do their best.

//It can be easy to think your comments, your criticisms, or even your attempts to be funny will be perceived how you perceive them, but not everyone will take them the same way. Your thought processes are not universal, and something small and innocuous to you can really hit a sore spot for someone else. Some people are more sensitive than others, and that’s something you really to keep in mind.

//This is especially true if you’re saying things about a creator themselves. There’s a difference between something like “here’s where I think the creator’s work could be improved” and “the creator is so X.” You can hurt them with the latter more than the former, because that feels very targeted and personalized. Even if it's not true, some people are much more self-conscious than others.

//At the same time, the response to this sort of thing is not and should NEVER be “let’s gang up on the person who said that and force them out of the fandom.” That’s unacceptable, no matter the circumstance. I’ve blocked people who've tried to have that attitude about critics of my own story because I will never endorse that behavior.

//This isn’t meant to be a call-out post, just a PSA on why you should exercise some compassion and thought, and don’t make unnecessary commentary about creators who work hard on projects like these for no money, or for people who say things without intending to be hurtful. We creators do it because we have something we want to share, and as bad as bullying can get, comments like that are worse in their own way.

//Even if you don't intend it to be hurtful, thoughtlessness can hurt worse than open cruelty. Please keep that in mind when talking about other people, especially people you either don’t know or only know from their work or one bad action. At the same time, someone making one bad comment is not an excuse for you to declare war on them.

//Above all, just be kind to people and show how much you appreciate their work. Even small comments have gotten me through periods of bad depression, and when people need time to work on their health before they feel ready to get back to working on their projects, respect that. We aren't content machines, we're just as human as the rest of you.

//Finally, to the DT dev, I don't know if you'll see this, but I've been where you are and also had to take time off for myself. I feel lucky that I have so many kind people in my life, and I sincerely hope you do too. Take all the time you need, and know you've got my wholehearted support when you do return.

[tomyo]

Hbomberguy has unfortunately taught me that if I find myself really not gelling with someone it's probably because they're a shitty person.

Like I'm no Cassandra but all this time I remember I would just watch his videos and think "hmmm yeah, I can place my finger on it but I don't like the way he talks about these things." And then I ignored it because I thought I was just going out of my comfort zone.

I can't remember everything I beefed on him with but I definitely hated when he started to take on anime or Asian media. Overall I just think a lot of times westerners tend to assume their values and ways issues are dealt with are universal and he was just another lukewarm dive into the medium. Like its personal to me but I still stand by that Yuri on Ice isn't gay in the sense it isn't made for gay people, it's voyeuristic and pairing stories of incestuous feelings within it's short run time was a horrible choice they could have skipped. It comes to mind because I think he brought it up in one of his recent videos (I've been bedridden all week so my watch later queque has been playing on in the bg between lucidity) and it ticked me off. I hate the way he was dismissive of Heart Stopper for being twee and the whole rant about how it's not just him but other gay men too who think this! Honestly! For real guys! And for minutes I was just there like Alice Oseman is aroace! When he finally gets there it became infuriating how he diminished it's importance. Authors are allowed to let their experience effect their writing! She's not responsible to cater to you. The beauty of Heartstopper is it's release has lived through a rapid change in lgbtq acceptance and is the perfect opportunity to show that romantic and sexual inclination also exist on a sliding scale because that's something we are now widely teaching!! To write modern teen characters, you have to empathize with modern teens. They're not you!! Which is mostly good given the history of our community. It's good to get to see queer teen boys take it maybe infuriatingly slow because they don't have to be pressured for more.

James to me was always just a bit pessimistic and not really good at empathizing which given how much he stole makes sense why what he said and how he acted just felt off. It makes sense when everyone else in "breadtube" started promoting each other's works how it never seemed to happen with him. I don't remember him saying he was the only person really doing this but that's fucking bizarre to hear when the list of people who does what he pretended to was endless. Before I even watched the whole video I already brought up Matt Baume who like Hbomberguy said feels the exact opposite to James. Matt talks forward about progress, genuinely made me realize how we were always here, and the path lead forward to us getting there. Maybe it's not great to admit but there's YouTubers I watch that I know I have to psych myself up to watch, sometimes I don't like their running joke, sometimes they talk too fast multitasking, sometimes they have a habit that gets to me and I just need mental prep. James was like, "sigh here we go" that you'd feel before you were about to talk with that one friend who makes every convo abrasive and combative, I'm coming out a little annoyed and tired by the end of it. With Matt I remember it being a case of getting ready to sit down to hear a part of obscure history knowledge from that one friend who reads a book every two days. Possibly the biggest difference between the two is how much you believe Matt is committed to the material he's making because 1. It also focuses on sitcoms and old Hollywood queerness hence an well carved niche 2. It isn't as easy to churn out material. I've heard a million videos on owl house's queerness or Sherlock queer baiting but fuck all did I ever know how Tab Hunter was. There were so many "weird little funny guy" actors that I could make assumptions were gay but Matt actually gave me their stories and has made my heart cry for how hard they had it even thought I always could have figured that. And maybe that's what sucked, James as a queer man just never seemed to emotionally resonate.

Fuck, man I'm just rambling with all of this but the sheer validation of feeling off all these years paying of is wonderful. I don't really want to celebrate his downfall to much, not worth the energy, and I don't want to put another YouTuber on a pedestal because we have a bad habit of doing that only to have things turn out wrong. The thing is I watched illuminauti and Internet historian too but in the same way where I knew I was getting junk food. I wasn't looking for anything fancy and their sections did not surprise me and if anything maybe just make me feel embarrassed how comfortable I am eating badly made media. But god maybe worse is how happy I am to have someone tell me that it's alright that I don't like one gay dudes well produced videos.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-08-28

Arts and crafts

Listening: Chamber Mage

It's big loud heavy metal. Apparently they're doing their first run of live shows on this one album alone, godspeed.

Reading: Perhaps the Stars still. It's going, unfortunately I have gotten hooked on Breath of the WIld and my indiscipline has eaten into reading time so that's going slower.

Also a bunch of stuff about solar irradiation at various altitudes. This is part of an ongoing thing so I don't have much to say other than that there are so many different ways for light to get lost as it passes through the atmosphere, this stuff is way more complicated than they make it sound in passing.

Watching: Remembered that I was halfway through Noir, the 2001 Girls With Guns anime. I was enjoying it before my life got flipped turned upside down. Older anime has the bonus of having ludicrous amounts of cost saving measures which makes it fun to watch in the same way that it's fun to inspect mass produced consumer products for clever engineering tricks. They reuse SO many scenes to make this thing, episodes are like ⅓ bare minimum motion dialogue, ⅓ flashbacks, and ⅓ pretty good looking bespoke action combat scenes.

Making: Checked out a by-the-hour workshop called PONK, sanded down Galena to near final fit-up. Really handy to have a place like PONK on hand, I cannot justify dealing with the dust kicked up by a belt sander alone, even ignoring the cost and space.

Playing: Breath of the Wild! You can check the tag for my ongoing notes, but it's what I'm doing with a lot of my spare time at home. It's really engaging and despite my expectations, it's not a game I sit down at in the morning and then play for eight hours.

Maybe that's because I'm no longer in university/high school (although I'm pretty sure I could still spend 14 hours straight in Warframe) but I think it's more that every few hours I get bodied so hard by an enemy encounter that I have to go lie down.

Having a good time, I rambled into the desert last night and did a shrine on the border, no clue what I plan to do tonight.

Tools and Equipment: I hooked up a dead simple USB KVM under my desk to switch a keyboard and mouse between my desktop and my work laptop. Big quality of life improvement for working from home that cost like $10. It doesn't switch video or anything so I still have to use the toggles on my screen but most monitors have multiple inputs these days so that's not exactly a huge ask.

[toonabby]

Welp... (#FireDavidZaslav)

I never though of making this, but a few hours ago, Coyote Vs Acme, the most highly anticipated movie to come out the Looney Tunes, has been shelved and would not be releasing at all.

When I heard this I was confused and disappointed: "Why would they cancel this movie?" I thought to myself. "Oh right, TAXES and MONEY!" I was already aware of Zaslav's mistreatment of animation but this made me sad in particular considering that the movie was completed by the time it was cancelled.

All of those animators that have put their sweat and guts into this film for over two years. Gone. By contrast, the universally-reviled Velma got green light for a second season, while 2023's The Flash not only somehow survived cancellation, but also kept Ezra Miller - who had a lot of criminal activity throughout 2022 - as the titular character in spite of the potential legal trouble they'll get for having a convicted criminal in a role of a mainstream film, let alone still continue acting.

As I said in a comment on a YT video, any hope I had with WB and especially Zaslav is pretty much gone. Hell, I would argue that any hope I had with this year is gone. Between the abysmal beginning (the aforementioned Velma, the career-destroying scandals of Justin Roiland and Elliot Gindi, with the latter having only stared voiced acting for five months before the allegations came out, and the widespread, messy but otherwise pointless Hogwarts Legacy drama), the doubling down of Hollywood and especially WB's maltreatment of animation, several formally revered people getting exposed left and right, and tech giants making inane decisions, most notable Elon's takeover of Twitter and Reddit's API Changes, its honestly not a hyperbole or an exaggeration to say I despise this year. Not to an extent of 2020, but still pretty bad, and 2023 sucking was something I've been genuinely dreading when December of last year came.

And speaking of last year, this day marks the unfortunate first anniversary of the controversy DeviantArt got into when they decided to implement AI into their platform known for art made by actual people, NOT machines. Is every Nov. 11 going forward gonna have a company screwing over their audience and employees?

If there's one silver lining to this devastating situation, it's that the producers of said film would be able to watch it on private screenings next week. That, and the potential content leaks of said film.

At this rate, WB is dangerously close to becoming the ActiBliz of animation - a company full of greedy scumbags who take delight in screwing over their audience and their people.

To close this post off, I will no longer be supporting WB and its related content from now on (at least legally). I'll be removing my profile off of HBO Max (or rather Max) and deleting the service on my TV. I'll also remove every video from the Cartoon Network YouTube channel off my watch history even though they had nothing to do with this situation, I just don't like associating myself with a scummy company regardless of how I feel about the products themselves. That obviously doesn't mean I automatically hate anything by WB nor do I want to remove them from my history, I'm just saying is that I don't want to support anything by WB if that means I'm profiting of from the company. I'll also delete/private my fan art commemorating the company's centennial, because as I said before, I'm not respecting a company that treats its own works like disposable tools while giving other works a slap on the wrist in spite of their abysmal quality. Talk about double standards...

TL;DR: WB cancels a film that has already been completed and everyone is restoring to pirating their content, including me.

EDIT: Okay, changed my mind. I'm ONLY going to delete everything from JUST Warner Bros., the company, not the products they own. That doesn't mean I WON'T be deleting anything that celebrates the company though.

EDIT 2: Even though I'm not supporting WB anymore, I'm keeping my 100th anniversary post (at least on this site) for "archival/historical" purposes.

[evilwickedme]

What are some of your favorite books/arcs in comics?

Hello there :D you sent this the same day as that fav books ask I answered last week, so sorry for taking so long to get to this I then ALSO got the ask for beginner friendly comics and basically this is a long time coming here are a few of my favorite comics and graphic novels ever, including some repetitions from the beginner friendly ask lmao

So for Deadpool I have said this a million times and I will say this again: the 2012 run by Posehn and Duggan is fucking GOD. It's funny and witty and a little gory like any good wade comic yes, but it's also got so much heart and I love the cast and it brought in Ellie who's just fucking EVERYTHING to me. I'm also enjoying the current run of Deadpool by Alyssa Wong like no run of Deadpool since, and if you're looking for a run of marvel comics to pick up right now oh my God start there for real

Obviously another favorite is Spider Gwen - mostly the original Radioactive Spider-Gwen, but Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider and Ghost Spider are also really good, just not quite as solid and unfortunately the story told in them gets cut off and has yet to be continued. Obviously Spider-Gwen has been a solid 15% of my personality over the past year and I literally lectured on what it has to say on the main 616 universe but I just love earth-65's versions of Gwen, Captain Stacy, Harry Osborn, Emjay, and Matt Murdock (Murderdock my beloved) soooo fucking much like everyone in this cast is fucking amazing!!! If you let me talk about Spider Gwen I probably won't shut up

Anyway another one of my favorite books is Spider Men: Worlds Collide. It collects Spider Men and Spider Men II, and it focuses on two team ups between Peter and Miles, one back when they lived in separate universes and the other after the Ultimate universe got ixnayed and Miles was transported to 616. I actually prefer Spider Men II overall, I think it's a great story and it has one of best bi!peter panels imho, but both stories are great and very recommended.

Still with Marvel, if you haven't read the 2014 Scarlet Witch run by James Robinson, oh my God you're missing out. Every issue is drawn by the a different artist, except for the last issue which is drawn by the same artist as the first, which really works cause it happened right after the magneto-isn't-her-dad retcon so she's searching for her identity. The writing is gorgeous and all of the artists do an amazing job. I showed a panel to my niece once and she hasn't shut up about it for a year, it's that pretty. So it's worth reading for the art alone, I cannot emphasize this enough, but I love the story and the use of Agatha too.

I also love love love love LOVE Alias. Can we talk about how good Alias is? I feel like people don't talk about how good Alias is enough. Like I said in my beginner's rec post, it deals with really heavy stuff, but it does it with such gravitas! I love the noir feel, I love the way the art reflects what's going on with Jessica, I love the flashbacks, I love Jessica/Luke, like everything about it is amazing.

Moving onto DC, we have to mention Watchmen since it's the first comic I ever read. Is it good? ... Like I said with the question of is it beginner friendly, I have no idea. But you asked for my favorites, and as the first comic I ever read it holds a real place in my heart. A lot of it still haunts me, honestly. Say what you will on the dark age of comic books and what it led to later, I love it.

And then ofc there's Under the Red Hood. Do I even have to say it? My obsession with Jason is as easily observed as my obsessions with Wade Wilson or any version of Gwen Stacy. This story is iconic, it's so well written, I love the art, it's fucking heartbreaking. My guys I love this story so goddamn much.

I haven't read nearly as much Superman as I'd like to - I'm working on it don't you worry - but I recently read the Death of Superman trilogy and the third book in particular, The Return of Superman - also called The Reign of the Supermen in some editions I believe - is soooooo good. I actually almost sent in a lecture just about this book instead of my lecture about Smallville, but ultimately I have more to say on Smallville so I went with that, but still. Guys, the different Supermen here, the things they represent, not to mention just how fucking great Kon is in his first appearance and how much I sympathize with Lois here - there's so much to love about this. Plus I love late '80s and '90s Superman art, there's something about that specific time period's art style that I just find hits exactly in the right spot.

Batwoman: Elegy!!! Greg Rucka my beloved <3 honestly I'm still mad I hadn't read this before I did my og comic book lecture on the Jewish nature of the medium, it's so good at representing all the ideas I was trying to put into words, but also the art and the narrative and the character it's trying to introduce all make such an impression, it's so fucking good.

Moving onto indie comics, we have to talk buffy comics. I have read a lot of buffy comics. Not even close to all of them, I fell off the wagon somewhere around mid season nine and only purchased a bit of season ten, but I still have a certain affection in my heart for season eight, since I found all of it in the second hand booth at my first ever con. I also think Angel: After the Fall is fucking excellent.

This is already too long so I'll just life a few more things here - Nimona and Lumberjanes - ND Stevenson, my guys, like they just do it every time. Giant days, paper girls, also great indie comics. There's a graphic novel called witchy I really love - I recently realized there's a vol 2 and I desperately need to read it, I genuinely just thought it ended on a cliffhanger forever.

Finally, maybe this doesn't belong on this list at all, but Maus. I feel like Maus should be required reading for every adult on the face of the earth. Obviously as a Jewish person it's particularly affecting for me, but I don't think it's a coincidence there was a recent banning of the book. It's incredibly impactful and in our times of rising antisemitism it is incredibly important as well. Do yourself a favor and read it.

Okay well that was certainly a list! Everyone, feel free to let me know how you feel about any of these or if you're planning on reading them. And thanks for asking!

[eddiecranes]

Hey ♥️ Its your secret Santa again! I'm sorry for the very late reply! Life has been a drag these past two weeks. I was aost done my reply just an hour ago, then tumblr wiped out my reply. Aye.

I hope you're doing well and life is going decently for you 😊. I'm always here to listen and understand if you need someone to talk to.

So I love your music taste! It rocks!!! Love all those groups except I don't listen to The Monkees and The Who. I listen to Bowie occasionally. But the others you mentioned, I love them. I grew up listening to Elton John. The Doors are out of this World. I love Motrison Hotel! Peace frog, Blue Sunday, Waiting for The Sun!

Also Love her Madly, Roadhouse Blues (always getting stuck in my head!!), Break on Through. I could go on « but you get the point. 😂

Elton John is wonderful. I love The Way You

Look Tonighy, Whisper, Sacrifice, The One,

Blessed, Sad Songs, Crockodile Rock. There are

so many and I know I'm forgetting a lot haha. I live

The First two Queen albums as well as the last

album and The game! They're awesome. The first

band I really got into. I literally listened to all their

stuff and demos and everything! My fav members

are Freddie and Deaky. Used to be Bri a while ago.

Please send me song recs if you'd like 🥺. I love

song recs. Also.let me know if you'd like song

recs. I love love love sharing music I love with

friends! ♥️

Some questions for you 😁

- your fav album and song of all time (of top three

ranked if too hard to choose).

- which artist you'd 1. Kiss 2. Kill 3. Marry.

(I love asking this. it's super fun!)

- most favourite live performance you'd kill to see?

- what you love about your fav band/artist and why they're your fav.

I don't really have many Christmas plans. Just to relax. Hopefully I can go to Christmas Mass. I like that ♥️ and candles and peaceful tranquility.

What are your plans?

Your secret Santa ♥️🍓

I'm sorry to hear about life getting you down :/ Unfortunately it seems all too common this time of year, but I hope things get better.

But yeah, your questions! My favorite song of all time is Across the Universe, my favorite album wavers between Abbey Road, Rubber Soul, and The White Album. The Beatles have been my favorite band basically my whole life. They have such a varied catalog for such a short time, they broke so much ground in music, and the songwriting (lyrics but especially music) really reaches me.

A band I would love to see live.......oh man, I'd like to see Bob Weir but I know I'd never be able to handle the weed stink of that audience. I would also like to see Nick Mason to round out seeing every surviving Pink Floyd member, as well as Neil Young so that I could say I saw every member of CSNY (going to see Graham Nash in June!)

Now the FMK thing, there really aren't any musicians I would do any of those things to! My boyfriend and I are literally discussing as I type this which musicians can actually sustain a marriage. It's a longer list than I thought, actually, but still tiny in the grand scheme of things.

I don't have any specific plans for Christmas except to not go to work! It's the one day of the year we're closed.

So what are your answers to the above questions?

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

this is not a callout or an intentional argument; i'm genuinely saying this in good faith, because i want to improve the discussion. a gentle reminder, based on these tags but directed toward everyone who's been commenting similar things regarding the school point on this post, your experiences are not universal.

many schools do not allow readings to be available in a centralized online platform--there are, in fact, still plenty of teachers that prefer to use paper handouts, and there is absolutely nothing stopping them. many schools do not have a standard method for submitting homework online, and many teachers still assign and grade homework on paper, or assign it verbally and receive it via email rather than standardized web portal. additionally, in-class work is sometimes graded.

in much of the US, it is not a universal standard for students to be given material they missed, and in fact, if a student is sick for a week or more, there are many schools that will expel them or put them on probation, completely regardless of their health. disabled students frequently cannot complete high school, or even drop out as early as middle or elementary school (often being funneled into the juvenile detention system as a result), because they have missed more than a few days' worth of school. this is through a combination of attendance monitoring and students receiving 0s on in-class work and homework they missed while sick.

when i was a disabled student (with an IEP and heavily involved parents, no less), i received many dozens of 0s on work i was absent for due to illness. my in-person peers went to school sick all the time because they simply could not afford to miss work and still pass their grade. they could not get doctors' notes because how can you get a doctors' note for a cold? you'll be entirely better by the time your appointment rolls around.

unfortunately, simply not working while you're sick is a surefire way to fail american high school. there is no structural way to allow students to fall behind without failing their grades; between standardized testing and the deeply-embedded effects of NCLB standards, if you miss any chunk of work & lectures, you're set up to fail that entire year completely regardless of if your absence was excused or not. even if your teachers excuse you from every individual assignment, you are still primed to fail the standardized tests in your state, the content of which is specifically designed to be difficult-to-impossible to complete unless you have completed the very specific work in class prior and have attended the very specific lectures.

allowing students to submit work online and placing a webcam in front of the teacher's desk will not be perfect solutions. in fact, i think they will not really improve the educational quality of school at all; i'm a major critic of the current school system and i do not consider it salvageable. i do not think public school is appropriately educating or socializing children to begin with. but i think that, in terms of mitigating disease spread, we need to attack schools as a major vector. we stand no chance of eradicating standardized testing and the effects NCLB had on the education system are far-reaching and systemic. as best as i can tell, the only policy-level adjustments we can make are enforcing that every school has an option to complete assignments online, making the lectures physically accessible to students who are at home even if they don't get one-on-one instruction, and enforced ventilation upgrades.

so: masking: good, unequivocally. please mask and please educate others on why they should mask to make the world safer for immune compromised people to participate in.

however: masking is not my policy focus and it shouldn't be yours, either. masking is a very good mitigation against droplet-born illnesses and a slightly less effective (but still very good) mitigation against airborne illnesses, but its place in the pyramid of mitigation demands is pretty low, for several reasons:

it's an individual mitigation, not a systemic one. the best mitigations to make public life more accessible affect everyone without distributing the majority of the effort among individuals (who may not be able to comply, may not have access to education on how to comply, or may be actively malicious).

it's a post-hoc mitigation, or to put it another way, it's a band-aid over the underlying problem. even if it was possible to enforce, universal masking still wouldn't address the underlying problem that it is dangerous for sick people and immune compromised people to be in the same public locations to begin with. this is a solvable problem! we have created the societal conditions for this problem!

here are my policy focuses:

upgraded air filtration and ventilation systems for all public buildings. appropriate ventilation should be just as bog-standard as appropriately clean running water. an indoor venue without a ventilation system capable of performing 5 complete air changes per hour should be like encountering a public restroom without any sinks or hand sanitizer stations whatsoever.

enforced paid sick leave for all employees until 3-5 days without symptoms. the vast majority of respiratory and food-borne illnesses circulate through industry sectors where employees come into work while experiencing symptoms. a taco bell worker should never be making food while experiencing strep throat symptoms, even without a strep diagnosis.

enforced virtual schooling options for sick students. the other vast majority of respiratory and food-borne illnesses circulate through schools. the proximity of so many kids and teenagers together indoors (with little to no proper ventilation and high levels of physical activity) means that if even one person comes to school sick, hundreds will be infected in the following few days. those students will most likely infect their parents as well. allowing students to complete all readings and coursework through sites like blackboard or compass while sick will cut down massively on disease transmission.

accessible testing for everyone. not just for COVID; if there's a test for any contagious illness capable of being performed outside of lab conditions, there should be a regulated option for performing that test at home (similar to COVID rapid tests). if a test can only be performed under lab conditions, there should be a government-subsidized program to provide free of charge testing to anyone who needs it, through urgent cares and pharmacies.

the last thing to note is that these things stack; upgraded ventilation systems in all public buildings mean that students and employees get sick less often to begin with, making it less burdensome for students and employees to be absent due to sickness, and making it more likely that sick individuals will choose to stay home themselves (since it's not so costly for them).

masking is great! keep masking! please use masking as a rhetorical "this is what we can do as individuals to make public life safer while we're pushing for drastic policy changes," and don't get complacent in either direction--don't assume that masking is all you need to do or an acceptable forever-solution, and equally, don't fall prey to thinking that pushing for policy change "makes up" for not masking in public. it's not a game with scores and sides; masking is a material thing you can do to help the individual people you interact with one by one, and policy changes are what's going to make the entirety of public life safer for all immune compromised people.

[7grandmel]

Blog Update - 25/06/2023

TL;DR: "Keep Reading"-tabs are now universally adopted on the blog after positive feedback. A more detailed explanation of the Askbox/submitting system. An "Event" is set to commence tomorrow.

Hey everyone! The week's over, and I'd like to say I've gotten in more of a groove in posting stuff on here now. It's a bit annoying still that the first 29 posts are still stuck on @melblur, but I'll live with it. A lot of positive words have rolled in from various sides and it makes me happy to know this silly little hobby project is as enjoyable for some to read as it is for me to write.

I don't have anything to poll you all on for today in particular, though there's definitely still some stuff I'm pondering. Regarding this week's poll on the "Keep Reading"-tab, the response was universally in favor of adding them to posts - thus, all Todays SiIvaGunner posts on 7grandmel will now be using them. The 29 melblur posts may get updated down the line, but their updated versions unfortunately do not get shown in the archive view on this blog due to the way Reblogs work - since its reblogging the "old" version of the post, it doesn't get updated with edits. Sucks, but like I said, I'll live with it.

Less of an update, but more something I feel I should've said out loud a while ago - I read every single Ask submitted to the blog, even when I do not answer them. 23/06/2023 marked the first post to use a rip suggested to me by a reader, and it came straight from this blog's Ask box. If you're someone who's submitted something and are worried you've been ignored - rest assured, your rip is almost definitely going to show up down the line. I simply prefer not to respond to the Asks directly in order to keep the element of surprise when suggested rips do show up.

And to be clear, the time it'll take for a suggested rip to appear is always going to be up on the air depending on context. Some reasons a request may become postponed include:

The joke is very similar to something that was just featured on the blog. I want to put a couple of days between posts like this to ensure I don't repeat myself all too much

The ripper has already had several recent posts focused on them. Same as above.

The rip is densely layered in a way that requires a large amount of prior context from other rips. I'll make exceptions to this here and there, but if exploring my feelings on one rip requires also exploring my feelings on another rip, I'll wait until I cover the initial rip first.

The rip has some sort of controversy attached to it. I've thus far only covered one rip with heavier subject matters attached to it, and I'm still a little unsatisfied with the way I tackled it. With a lot of rips from Season 1-3 especially, there may well be some unsavory details regarding a rips history or contents, and with those rips in particular I'll often want to take more time writing them beforehand. Especially writing as an outsider, the last thing I want to do is mischaracterize very serious situations.

And, the rarest one:

I full-stop lack interest/passion for the rip in question. The unfortunate part of being unable to publically say yes is that its hard for me to publically say no to requests as well. All of the requests I've received thus far are very much set to appear in the blog's future, but I do foresee a possible future where I'm suggested rips I full on just don't vibe with. I don't want to leave any possible submitters like that in a limbo, of course, so please feel free to directly message me with any concerns you have down the line. You can reach me either through Tumblr (@7grandmel and @melblur) or through Discord under the username "melcord".

Lastly, though the daily posts on this blog generally lack any overarching theme or scheduled order, I did get the idea this week for a particular..."Event", so to speak. To keep posts as varied as possible I'll probably make these somewhat rare going forward, but this one felt too good to pass up. Everything is set up to start as soon as tomorrow, so look forward to it!

-Mel

[swiftiephobe]

Hello there !!

OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE THE CUTEST CATS !! I have this dream since I was little to get a black cat and name her Sabrina but now I have a dog and I can't really afford looking after another pet so she'll stay just a dream for a little while.

And you're seeing Phoebe ????? I'm so jealous (politely). I'm such a big fan, unfortunately she rarely comes anywhere near my country and I have to see Taylor and Harry first also tickets + accommodations, everything gets very expensive so Phoebe will wait asdfghjkl.

How did it go with your friends in the pub ? I hope you had a good time !!! I understand you're already off work for the holidays ? This sounds great and I am once again jealous (politely) because we work until December 23rd so I have one more day until I can breathe.

I see you're very passionate about the MBTI types. I got my type from 16personalities and according to them I'm an INFP. I still haven't taken the test that you've linked but I will let you know my result as soon as I do !!!! Meanwhile, can you tell me something more about INFPs ? Or give me a link to a website where I can read more, if that's alright with you. Also, what's your MBTI type and what do you like and dislike about it ?

Love,

Secret Santa 🎅

omg sabrina! i love that name for a cat! was it perhaps inspired by sabrina the teenage witch (and the black cat salem from that show)? it's cool that you have a dog though!! my household has always been a cats household, i think my parents do eventually want to get a dog (and i wouldn't mind one too!) but it is a bit complicated when we already have cats haha

and yes i'm going to see phoebe in feb!! i'm super excited. i'm very lucky/grateful that i live in a city where concerts come to, as long as artists tour australia they will almost certainly come to sydney, so i don't have to pay for travel or accommodation which definitely makes a big difference. i'm guessing you're also waiting on taylor to announce international dates!! i'm very much anticipating the announcement but also fearing it because i just know trying to get tickets is going to be so crazy!

thank you, it did go well! and yeah, when i say my "work" i'm actually a phd student, so technically what i do is actually study but it's pretty much my full time job! i never know whether to refer to it as "uni" or "work" because it's not like a typical degree but i'm also not technically employed for what i do so 😅 the university i'm at closes down for two weeks between christmas and new year, so we all get that time off which is really nice! up until i started this year i worked casual in retail for like 6 years so this will be the first christmas eve in that time that i haven't had to work which is refreshing! i hope you get a nice break too!!

ooh yes, the problem with tests like 16personalities is that they're what's known as "dichotomy" tests, where they test for i vs e, s vs n, etc. which kinda oversimplifies it and gives off the impression that people are one or the other, and also leads to some stereotypes (e.g. sensors aren't creative, feelers are overemotional, etc) which just kinda biases people towards/against certain types! i have a link in my pinned post as well which is an intro to the cognitive functions which is (in my opinion) a more in-depth and accurate way to look at mbti! i have an explanation under the cut too because it got a bit long and i don't want to annoy anyone on my dash haha. i see your other ask too so i'll answer that as well so i can tell you more about your potential types!!

basically there are 8 cognitive functions and each type uses 4, probably most importantly every type actually has a mixture of all "categories" of functions - i.e. everyone senses, everyone intuits, everyone feels, everyone thinks, and there are "introverted" and "extroverted" variations on those functions that on a very basic level equates to whether you focus it function internally or externally, and you're stronger at some functions than you are at others. i'm probably not going to be the best at explaining it haha but as an example i'm an istj, so my dominant/first function is introverted sensing (Si) (and my other functions are extroverted thinking Te, introverted feeling Fi and extroverted intuition Ne, in that order). having high Si relates to me having a really good memory, and i trust what i've observed and experienced in the past to guide me in the present (as a comparison, people with extroverted sensing, or Se, are those people that live very in the moment and are really attuned to what is happening around them so are more inclined to spontaneity!). so in that sense i like that i have such a strong memory, and i think overall my functions contribute to me being as reliable as i am, but i'm definitely not as great at being flexible or going with the flow as sometimes i should be! there's definitely different strengths to each of the different types.

it can be a bit complicated to understand when you're first getting into it, especially when considering all the different functions and how they manifest at different positions - like i have Ne as my fourth/inferior function, but a person with Ne as their dominant or auxiliary (first or second) function (xNxP types) will use it very differently/more effectively than i can!! at the end of the day it's all for fun and i don't think it's the be-all-and-end-all of personality but i found that learning more about mbti really helped me understand myself and also appreciate how others approach and understand things differently to me!