#unf the way i love this scene

[dear-mrs-otome]

Jude babe your overprotective streak is showing 💜

[samamakhalid]

The thing I loved about the s4 intervention was how succinctly it captured the source of every character's demise in what was really a five-way intervention. It wasn't a scene of the three assistants confronting Jon at Martin's behest, it was a scene of all five characters desperate for a tangible target that couldn't overpower them the way every other monster had, that could be loosly quantified as deserving every ugly emotion they've had to direct inwards.

It's fine if Jon's not your darlingest blorbo, but dismissing the treatment aimed at him as justified or unharmful undermines the rest of the cast's journeys. If Basira is correct in ending all discussions on the note of 'Jon a dangerous monster with innocents' trauma on his hands', what is the point of her disgust with the police force? If Melanie has the right to demand Jon admit to their violent intervention that he finally fits the role of predator she irrationally assigned to him on sight, and the right to dismiss the correlation between her slaughter attack and Jon's vulnerability to Beholding, what did she recover from in therapy? If Daisy had the right to support Basira's rigid perspective and Jon's blanket condemnation, what monsterhood was she struggling against? If Martin had the right to simultaneously hold Jon's wellbeing up as his motivation but ask monster hunters to set him straight, to directly endanger Jon but not follow up to learn what came of it, all for Jon's own good, then what was the Lonely gaining from Martin?

Jon's own shortcomings here have been talked to death; his actions had consequences and it's excellent writing to show that the world had a messy reaction to his messy mistakes. The tragedy is that the same could not be said for the rest of the cast's impact on Jon for a very long time, if at all, and by then Jon's "be dead or unfed" ultimatum was irreversibly accepted.

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

And all that I have

Part 8 of my Accidentally on Purpose Series

Warnings: Smut (18+), cockwarming, conversations about CNC (consensual non-consent) play, kink discussions, talks about non-consensual kinks, toxic relationship, conversations about burglary, insecurities, angst, obsession with reader, mild body insecurity. Charred the dove and the dove kinda liked it.

Disclaimer: I want to be clear that although the conversations are centred around non-consent, the entire thing is completely consensual, if reader was uncomfortable, the conversation would stop. They are discussing a scene they plan to do in the future, so be warned that this will come up later in this series.

You loved him.

You knew it now, without a doubt.

You’re gazing at him from your spot at your desk, peeking over your laptop so that it’s not obvious to him that you’re staring.

You watch him scratch at his eyebrow, deep in thought as he reads the report on his desk. You feel your stomach flip as he squints for a second, no doubt reading something he disagrees with on the page.

He runs the backs of his fingers over his cheek, scratching at his beard, deep in thought, unaware that just a little distance away, you’re admiring him with every piece of your heart.

Whatever  you had felt for anyone else before was nothing compared to what you were feeling for him right now. Your relationship with Dominic had been nothing but a shell, hollow, it had been filled with moments of self- doubt, separated by spaces of indifference that you’d tried to convince yourself was happiness. But it wasn’t, it wasn’t contentment or satisfaction or delight. Being with Dominic had been nothing but a mediocre meal when you were starving, only perceived as amazing because you were unfed.

Now, with Billy, you knew what it was like to really feel.

“Billy.” You say softly, watching him blink and raise his head. He gives you a tired smile.

“Yeah?”

“I’m bored.”

The corner of his lip twitches before it pulls up into a smile.

He looks down at his report before looking back up at you. 

“Feeling for anything in particular?”

You study him for a moment, before closing your eyes.

“It’s been two weeks since we last had sex-”

“Two weeks and six days…” He pauses when you open your eyes to look at him curiously, “...To be exact, but,” He clears his throat, “who’s counting?”

You can’t help planting your face in your hands and letting out a little laugh.

“Fine, it’s been two weeks and six days, and there’s still about a week left before we can- and I really want a distraction from it.”

He swallows, nodding eagerly, in full agreement with your words.

“I get it," Billy agrees, and you watch him drop his papers onto the desk with a decisive thump, "It's been actual hell to not be able to follow through with any of the things I want to do to you."

You give him an amused raise of your eyebrows, a slow feeling of delight spreading in your abdomen. You take a slow breath to help ease the feeling.

“Well, that didn’t help distract me, just made me want you more.”

The look on his face is one of pure mischief.

“Oops.” Is his only response.

You blink at his audacity.

“You know,” You say, pushing yourself to a stand, “You really shouldn’t tease, there’s no chance of you winning this.” You advise, moving toward him. You don’t stop till you’re leaning against his desk. 

You take your time, moving his phone and staple remover out of the way, and when it’s just papers, you lie down on his desk, smiling proudly as you turn to face him.

The muscle in his jaw jumps as he clenches his teeth, eyes skimming your body as you lie on his desk, knees bent for comfort. After a moment, the pins in your hair begin to stick your scalp and you grunt as you unpin your hair and let it splay across his reports.

“Everytime you tease me, I play this game in my head where I come up with payback.” He says, eyes fixed on you, “At the rate you’re going, you’re not gonna be able to walk after.”

You smile at him, your only response is to raise one hand, and undo the top button of your shirt.

His eyes follow the movement. 

“I doubt,” You hum undoing another button, “That you’d be able to last long after four weeks of no sex.”

“Maybe not.” He sighs, “But I’ll find a way.”

When you reach for a third button, his hand reaches up to cover yours.

"Mercy." He whispers finally, "You're pretty, and I want you and I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Poor baby." You tease.

He grunts out a laugh, closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"God, you're really in for it when I’m fully healed."

“What am I in for?” You tease, tugging your shirt open as wide as possible.

He looks up, as if asking a higher being for his sanity back.

“You really wanna know? It might scare you.”

“God I hope it does.”

He groans, low in the back of his throat.

“Alright. I’ll tell you.” He looks down at you again, the back of his fingers tracing over your cheek softly.

You smile, closing your eyes as he touches you softly.

“I want to tie you to our bed, and use you whenever I want. I want to leave that sweet little cunt dripping with my come.”

He lets out a soft sigh, his thumb tracing over your lips gently.

“I want to… rent a cabin in the woods, and chase you, make you run, play with you and when I catch you- I want to make you regret running.”

You swallow, excitement swells like a wave within you.

“I’d love that.” You confess to him softly, “Make me regret running from you, sir.”

You watch his throat bob as he swallows, his eyes a hue of darkness you’ve never seen before.

His fingers slip down your chin, tracing its way over your jaw.

“I didn’t expect you to be so… open about this.”

Maybe I'm just right for you, you think helplessly.

You smile up at him.

“I’ve always wanted to explore that side of myself, but Nic wasn’t very accommodating, so I hid those desires from him. But I’ve… I've wanted to be touched the ways you want to touch me for a long time.”

You think about the last time you’s asked Dominic to choke you- he’d done it so poorly, despite the way it had intensified your orgasm, and then he’d never done it again, it was like he wasn’t willing to learn what really got you off, so why would you ever try to push him further, or ask him for more?

Billy grips your jaw tightly, pulling you back into the present, into his dark, hungry eyes.

“Let’s come up with something, that we can,” His tongue darts out to swipe at his bottom lip eagerly, “do together.”

You feel a smile creep onto your face.

“Of course, Mister Russo.”

He leans in, his lips meeting yours softly, contradicting the rough implications of his words.

“Come sit on my lap.” He offers when he finally breaks from the kiss, and you nod easily, rising from his desk, giggling when you feel some papers stick to your arms. He helps you remove them, and then guides you into sitting on his lap, your legs being tossed over one of the arms of his chair.

“Will this even hold us?” You ask, resting your cheek against his chest.

He wraps an arm around you, humming an affirmative.

“Am I hurting you?” You check next, worried.

“Not at all, Mrs. Russo.” He murmurs, kissing the top of your head, “Now, tell me about your limits.”

You smile, looking down, playing with your fingers.

“I’m not that into anal, or hitting. Those are hard limits. I like being spanked.”

Billy hums in acknowledgement, his arm on your knee to keep you steady.

“What about slapping?”

You feel your insides clench.

You shake your head, looking up at him.

He smiles, the hand on your knee moving up to cup your cheek.

“So you like small amounts of pain? But nothing harder than a spank?”

“Yeah.” you answer, breathless at the conversation. No one had ever made you feel this comfortable and safe talking about topics like this.

“I like being scared.” You offer up, “I wanna be scared into acting like a good girl.”

He makes a low sound in the back of his throat.

“God you’re so fucking hot.”

You giggle in disbelief.

“What about pet names? I know you like the nice ones, but what about degrading ones?”

“I like ‘slut,’” You offer, “But not ‘bitch’ or ‘whore.’”

You groan when a thought pops into your mind.

“Literally, I think calling me your little plaything would make me see stars.”

His laugh is deep and alluring.

“What about you?” You ask, desperate to hear him affirm your desires with his own, “Tell me some things you like.”

“The idea of forced breeding is nice,” He starts, and you nod eagerly, already obsessed with that idea, held down and made to take his cum, being teased about having his kids. It makes your skin flush with heat.

“I have- uhhhhh-” He hesitates, and you adjust yourself to watch him carefully.

“Sorry, fuck, it’s embarrassing to say.” He mutters, and you realise that maybe he needs some reassurance.

You raise your hand, cupping his cheek, loving the feel of his coarse beard against your hand. You trail lower, fingers caressing his neck, before you try to slip your fingers under the collar of his button up shirt.

“You can literally tell me anything. I won’t run, I promise.”

He goes still, looking up at you, something unnameable in his eyes. After a moment, he blinks, looking down.

“I have a little fantasy about being a thief, maybe you have something valuable I want. Maybe it’s not what you think it is.”

You swallow, nodding your head eagerly, thinking about what it would be like to find him rifling through your home, touching things that weren't his to touch. You think about the way he’d grab you, about the way he’d lean in to kiss you harshly, the way he’d rip at your clothes-

“T-that’s a nice idea.” You whisper hoarsely. 

You think about him all masked up and taking you on the floor of your home. You shift a little in discomfort caused by your definite arousal.

“I can't- I really need to be inside you.” He rushes out.

“Couch?” You offer, and then you slip off of his lap when he nods.

While he settles himself, you reach up under your skirt, pulling your panties down the length of your legs, smiling when you catch him staring at you.

You carefully climb onto him, reaching to undo his belt, the sound of it making you more and more aroused. 

“You're so fucking beautiful.” He whispers, and you glance up at him feeling a little shy under his obsidian gaze.

“Thanks.” You whisper, your voice so soft that you barely hear it.

The back of his hand traces your cheek.

“Do you need help?” He asks, and you manage to be amused at the question, considering how absolutely wet you were between your thighs.

You shake your head, clenching when you finally get his cock free, giving him a few gentle strokes that has him groaning and dropping his head back.

He's so big, heavy in your hand, you love the slight curve of him, the wideness.

“Ready?” You ask, and he raises his head to look at you.

“If you are.” He says, voice pained.

You lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips before raising your hips to guide his thick cock to your entrance.

His head falls back again, his breathing shallow as he stares wide-eyed at the ceiling.

When you start slowly sinking down on him, you watch him suck in a deep breath, his hands gripping harshly at the couch.

“You're so wet, sweetheart. Fuck.” Billy exclaims, finally able to look at you once more.

You clench around him, your prolonged denial in support of his, claws at the walls inside your mind.

You feel a pinch of pain, the size of him stretching you open but you pay it no mind, your wetness makes taking him in so much easier.

Your eyelids flutter as you sink down onto him fully, you bite your lip harshly when the head of his cock presses firmly to your cervix.

“Oh my god.” You groan, panting, unable to comprehend the world around you with his cock so deep within you.

Before him, you weren't so desperate. You could usually go a month without sex without any problem at all, now though, Billy made lasting four weeks the biggest challenge.

He stays perfectly still, But you can't help yourself, making micromovements on his cock, rolling your hips a little just so you can feel something more.

“Princess.” He warns, and then groans loudly when he feels you clench hard around him in response. He loses himself for a moment, rolling his hips into you, before he grits his teeth, stopping his motions.

“You've never called me that one before.” You purr, trying to distract him while keep your body still.

His hands grip your thighs, blunt fingers pressing into your skin, sliding up to grip your ass harshly.

“It's cause I've got you so spoiled right now.” He hisses, "Couldn't tell you no if I wanted to.”

It makes you clench down on his cock a second time. You watch your own desperation mirror itself in his expression.

“You're so big, Mister Russo.” You moan, gripping his shoulders to keep your body steady.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, to relax the vise grip your cunt has around his stiff erection.

Billy has always thought of himself as a man with great strength, but it's in this very moment, he learns precisely how weak he is. Watching his gorgeous, breathtaking wife, try her best to sit still on his cock, brings out a darkness in him, gives him ideas of what exactly he's going to do the moment he can.

No woman has ever felt as good as you, and he knows no woman ever will.

You're having your own debate in your head at the same time, wondering how you're going to last another week without him fucking you into oblivion.

“Tell me what you want to do to me.” You plead, eyes squeezed shut to hide from him.

He doesn't speak for a moment, the only sound filling the room is both of your laboured breaths.

“I want to see you submit to me completely.”

You squeeze your eyes tighter, nodding.

I want that too.

“And I don't care how hard it is, or how long it takes, I want to fuck you until you're just my messy pile of wife, no brain at all.”

You whine, a low sound in the back of your throat, you can almost taste the pleasure on your tongue as if it’s something physical.

You roll your hips, feeling him inside you, the grip of his hands on your ass tightens.

Your eyes meet his, half lidded, panting and desperate as you gaze at one another, you know that it wouldn't take much to get you off, and you're trying your hardest not to, you really really want to support him this way.

It makes you a true mess, aroused beyond thought. You can see it in his eyes too, delirious yearning looking right back at you.

“What else?” You ask, needing to know the exact ways he wanted to unravel you.

He licks his bottom lip.

“I wanna fill you up, watch my come drip right out of you with the number of times I come inside you.”

“Yeah? M-maybe you can… use a plug if you get tired of watching your cum drip out.”

The sound he makes next is nothing short of a gowl, pulling you closer until your noses brush, You swear there's a fire in his eyes that you've never seen before.

“I can't stop picturing it,” he whispers roughly, one hand leaving your ass, trailing around to your front. You cry out when the tips of his fingers press to your aching clit, “The way you'll look when I'm done with you, passed out of course, my come messy between your thighs, I'll ask you if you're okay and you wouldn't be able to do anything more than make a little sound.” You tilt your head to the side when his finger begins rubbing softly at your swollen bud, he doesn't take kindly to the movement, his other hand reaching to grip the back of your head, forcing you back to him, “Maybe I'd keep fucking you. Even when you're out cold I could still fill you. You'd be so far gone you wouldn't even want me to stop.”

You nod, whining, knowing that you'd let him do anything he wanted so long as he was doing it to you.

“I know how that makes me look- I've been so ashamed of this side of me, but I want this, every little bit of it, and I want you.” You confess.

“There's nothing wrong with you I promise.” He says, leaning in to kiss you softly, his fingers speeding up their touch on your clit.

You gasp into his mouth.

“S-stop or I'll-” You find that the words evaporate on your tongue.

“You'll what, little wife? Come around my cock? Don't you want to?”

You shake your head violently.

“Not if you can't. Don't make me.”

He drags his fingers away, and you sigh in relief despite the way your body burns, aching for you to just take the edge off.

He kisses you again, harsh and all-consuming, you hum happily, trying to return his passion with a little of your own.

“No more.” He says, and you nod, rising from his cock, your cunt clenching as you get free of him, registering the emptiness, before you feel disappointment immediately follow.

He reaches down, grunting as he wraps his fist around the base of his cock, squeezing in what you can only assume is a method to avoid orgasm.

He’s beautiful, the way his skin is so flushed and his breaths are shallow and you think it’s mostly because of you, and you wonder why on earth would someone like him ever-

You swallow nervously, looking away.

You don’t want to ask, exhausted with your own insecurities to voice them.

Luckily you don’t have to, because at the same time, your cell on your desk starts ringing.

You turn to it, standing, adjusting your skirt before taking the few steps to it. You sigh internally when you see it’s your mother calling.

“Hey mom.” You greet softly.

“Hello. I’ve been sending so many messages. Why haven’t you responded? I thought you were dead.”

You try to hold it in but a laugh comes out against better judgement.

“Dead? Really? Wouldn’t someone have given you a call?”

“Who? Who’s going to call me if you die? Dominic? Your friends? This mysterious husband I have never met that might be the person doing the killing?”

“Why was murder the first thing you thought of?” Humour dripping from your voice.

“Because you’re living with a random stranger and I’m very worried.”

You let out a slow breath.

“I get it mom, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to reply to your messages, I’ve been trying to take care of Billy.”

After a moment, you swear you can hear the anger leave her over the phone.

“Okay well… how is he?”

You feel like you've won something.

“He's doing great, recovering well, that's what the doctor said, a few more weeks and he'll be recovered.”

“That's good to hear. When am I meeting him?”

“Soon.” You promise.

“That's fine. I also have something I want send to you. Can you give me your new mailing address?”

“Yeah, no problem, I'll message it to you.”

She's silent for a long time, and you know she's thinking about saying something terrible to you. You tilt your head back in frustration.

“Mom? You still there?” You ask politely.

“Are you doing okay? Dominic said you gained some weight.”

Your mouth parts in surprise.

“Why are you still talking to him?” You ask in disbelief, looking down at your body automatically. Why did everyone care so much about the way you looked?

“I called him. I wanted to hear his side of the story and to hear more about this Billy guy.”

You stiffen, realising that Billy was still in the room somewhere overhearing this conversation.

“Tell me that you didn't believe a word he said.” You beg.

“Some of it was definitely a lie, I remember when you'd called to tell me you'd broken up, that sounded genuine. I don't think you actually cheated on him, and I know you well enough to know that gold digging isn't your style.”

You smile, “Thank you.”

“But,” she continues, “One thing that confuses me is the custom rings. How did those happen?”

“Um,” you squeeze Your eyes shut, shaking your head, “We um,” Fuck, you didn't know what to say, “We had them made the day after.” You lie.

“Why? Why a stranger? Wouldn't you have tried to get the marriage annulled first?”

Shit.

“Um, we tried and then decided not to on the same day. Hey mom? I gotta go, my next meeting arrived early.”

“Okay, cupcake, talk to you soon.”

“Yeah,” you say with a shaky voice, “Bye, love you.”

You hang up before you can hear her parting words.

You stare at your phone, forgetting how to breathe for a long moment.

When he says your name, you turn quickly, looking at him. You finally find the strength to take in a breath.

“I'm fine. I just need a minute, be right back.” You rush out, walking out the room without a second thought.

You press your hand to the wall outside, taking a few deep breaths. You wanted to hide, to stop being perceived at all.

You glance at Martha, sitting at her desk, typing into her computer. When she senses you looking, she turns her head with a smile.

“Are you doing alright, Mrs. Russo? Do you want me to get you some water?”

Mrs. Russo. That was you.

You straighten.

“I'm okay, thank you though.” You say with a smile, turning in the direction of the elevators.

You press the button for his floor when you're inside, and only after you shift your feet impatiently, do you realize that you're not wearing any panties.

It gives you more confidence if anything, you were just sitting on your husband's cock, and he'd asked you to. He'd called you beautiful, he'd wanted you. 

You squeeze your hands into fists, Dominic would not take him from you.

He’s in a meeting, his receptionist says to you, apology in her voice, and when you inquire with who, you find out that it’s just his boss.

You give her a smile, before walking right past her desk and knocking on his door.

You open it without waiting for a response, a smile on your face when you see both men looking at you.

“Sorry to interrupt, but can I please have a moment to speak with Dominic? It’s urgent.”

Both men glance at each other, and you know that his boss would not deny you your request.

“Of course,” The man says, rising from his chair, “We’ll pick this up later.”

Dominic only nods, his face set into harsh lines.

The door closes behind him softly, and you don’t speak for a moment, studying the landscape picture on his wall.

“That day we broke up,” You declare, not turning to look at him yet, “You told me that I wasn’t as pretty as some of your old girlfriends, you told me my laugh was irritating, that my friends annoyed you. You gave me reason upon reason as to why you didn’t like me and why we weren’t a good match, and I’d sat there and apologised to you.”

“Look,” He interjects, “I’m sorry I was so harsh-”

“-I’m not done.” You interrupt, turning to look at him, showing him that there was nothing between you anymore, that he could look into your eyes all he wanted, he would not find the version of you he once knew.

He lets out a breath, raising his eyebrows to seem amused by your intervention. 

You didn't care.

“I can’t believe I ever did that, apologise to you for not being what you wanted. If I could go back, I’d tell you to go fuck yourself.”

He blinks, stiffening his shoulders.

“And then, you come back, assuming that I’d forgive you for the shit you said, and get back together with you. But I was never going to, marriage or not, I’d rather be alone forever than spend another minute with you.”

“So stop trying to mess with me, stop trying to destroy my life over something that happened after you broke up with me. You can’t hurt me anymore, and if you try to, I’ll show you exactly what I’m made of.”

You turn to the door, reaching for the handle.

“I love you.” He blurts, making you freeze in place.

You can’t help it, laughing softly at his admission.

You pull his door open, a smile still on your face as you glance back at him.

“You don’t even know the meaning of the word.” 

.

“Where’d you go?” Billy asks when he sees you come in a few minutes later.

“To give some closure.” You say with a smile, approaching him, cupping his face in your hands, and leaning in to place a kiss on his lips.

You feel him relax under you, you hum softly at the feeling of it.

“Are you in any pain?”

“A little,” He confesses, “I might have pushed myself a little too much.”

Your eyebrows draw together, worried that you might have hurt him.

“I’m sorry, my full weight-”

“-was perfect. It was the tensing up when I got too close to coming that caused the strain.”

You groan, squeezing your eyes shut, one hand pressing to your tummy.

“Why do you even like me?” You rush out, in disbelief that you were literally making power moves just now, to come back to him with your insecurities.

Maybe power was exhausting to hold on to for you.

“Because I do.” He says softly, with an encouraging tone of voice, “Because you see me.” He’s quiet for a moment, biting the edge of his lip in deep thought. 

“Growing up in the system was bad, it was real shitty. I don't think I’ll ever truly recover from the abandonment. I pretend I’m okay, and I pretend that I’m whole but,” He shakes his head, “I’m just pieces on the inside. Broken glass.”

“You make me feel like something more. A mosaic.” He utters, as if the word has just come to mind.

You take in a deep breath, your face contorted into one of sorrow.

I love you, Billy Russo.

You simper, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Let’s go home.” You suggest.

He’s nodding before you can even get the sentence out.

.

The hardest thing is keeping your hands to yourself. You want to touch him all the time, run your fingers through his hair, slide your hands under his t-shirt, gently trace the veins on the back of his hands. You want to smooth your thumbs over his eyebrows and taste his collarbones and you try your best to resist for a couple of reasons.

The first reason is that you don’t want to get him hard- you don’t want to torment him any more than he’s already being tormented. The second reason is because you worry he’ll eventually get annoyed with your insistent touching, that he may find it irritating eventually. The smallest hint that he’s getting annoyed with you might be enough to dissolve you into thin air, you don’t think you’d ever recover from it.

So sometimes you find yourself reaching for him, only to draw back at the last second, hoping he doesn’t see how hard you’re fighting yourself.

You should be more open about it- you know that- he tries so hard to open up to you and the least you can do is respond with the same effort.

And yet, your experience with Dominic lingers. 

You and him had been so good at one point too, and the next thing you know, every aspect of you had irritated him.

How long would it take before Billy felt that way too?

This was bad, you had no support system in place, no one to talk to aside from him, no one to tell you that your thoughts were unreasonable. This, this was why staying with him wasn’t sustainable.

You’re lying motionless in the bath when he finds you after excusing himself to take a work call.

You turn when you catch movement, smiling up at him when he approaches. He’s got an apologetic look on his face, one that tells you that he has to leave you alone before he even says it.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes, coming to sit on the edge of the tub, “There’s an issue with our servers and I have to go.”

“It’s 8 p.m.” You state, “You can’t do this tomorrow?”

He shakes his head.

“Some of our guys are at risk without the intel.”

You take a deep breath, giving him your easiest smile. You wanted to fight, but maybe in this moment you didn’t know if you were capable of winning.

“Alright, Billy, I’ll see you later.”

He leans in, kisses the top of your head, then your cheek, and then tilts your head up for a quick kiss.

He leaves the room, and you hear him grab his things before the front door closes.

You close your eyes, letting your body sink below the surface of the water.

.

You sneak out maybe an hour later.

You wait by the door till the guard stationed there gets up to use the bathroom, and then you slip out in your fluffiest coat, making it to the elevator right outside with your heart slamming into your ribs.

Only after the doors close do you realise that you don’t have anything to help you get back inside, and that you should have maybe left a note. No worries though, you know Billy will call once he gets home and finds you gone.

You’d called Martha earlier, and begged her to find the address you were looking for, apologetic for disturbing her evening.

You take a taxi there, and you knock on the door softly once, in the cold air, before realising that you hadn’t knocked loudly enough.

The second time you knock, you hear footsteps, and you suck a deep breath in, smiling at the peephole before you hear the door unlock.

Maria looks concerned, her lovely brunette hair pulled over one shoulder.

“Are you okay?” She says with worry heavy in her tone.

You try to give her a cheerful expression.

“I’m great, I was just a little lonely, Billy left a while ago.”

She opens the door wider to let you in.

“Yeah, Frank left too.”

“I figured,” You admit, “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind some extra company?”

“Of course! I’m just cleaning up. You can hang your coat over there.” She says, pointing to a place behind you.

You thank her, shedding your coat with minimal difficulty and hanging it on the spot she had pointed to.

You follow her into the kitchen, where she’s mostly done with her dishes, only a few left to dry.

“Can I help?” You offer.

“No, thank you, I’m almost done. I have some leftovers if you want. Chicken parm, or do you want tea or coffee or something?”

You’re a little shy in her presence, trying to pick something easy so that she doesn’t insist.

“Water, for now, though I might pick at your teas later.” You say politely.

She smiles, and you feel so soothed by it, you find yourself smiling back. Not long after, she places a glass of water in front of you. You thank her again, sipping on it gratefully.

“So,” She starts off easily, looking over her shoulder to glance at you while she wipes a pink plate dry, “What brings you here at this hour?” 

God, you wanted to tell her the truth, fold like a stack of cards because you didn’t think you could lie to her. For once, you wanted to be honest about your situation.

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t do that to her, and you definitely couldn’t do that to Billy. You’d ruin their friendship if you said anything, you’d ruin his relationship with Frank, he’d hate you for it.

You let out a pained breath.

“All my friends kind of hate me.” You murmur, deep in thought, “and you don’t seem like you’d hate me.”

She nods in understanding.

“Why don’t you tell me everything?” She says easily, and you nod, willing to try.

“My ex- Dominic- we’d been together for two years before we broke up. He works at Anvil, and for a long time I thought I was going to spend forever with him.” You look down into the glass of water, studying the stillness.

“Looking back at it now, I realise how wrong we were together. He never really liked me, I was just a convenience, he only kept me around because it was better than being alone, you know? We took care of each other at first, but somewhere along the way he stopped caring and then any little thing I did pissed him off.”

You watch her finish one plate, reaching for another.

“Our breakup was really brutal, he literally just picked me apart and left me outside my apartment, and then three days later I woke up married to Billy.”

“And you think,” She says, interrupting your thoughts, “That this one is going to end up like your last one.”

“Isn’t it?” 

She smiles, shaking her head.

“You wanna know how long I knew Frank before we got married?”

“A reasonable amount of time?” You offer.

She laughs.

“Four months.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise.

“I’m in no place to judge.”

She grins.

“I got pregnant three months into dating him, and we were married a month later. The first time I met Billy, was stepping on him when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night.” Her shoulders shake as she laughs, remembering the entire story.

“According to Frank, he’d climbed into our small apartment at the time from the fire escape, drunk off his ass, and crashed on the floor before Frank could help him to the couch in the living room. The way Frank says it, he just tossed a sheet over Billy, and stuffed a pillow under his head where he passed out and went back to sleep. I woke up, and stepped on him and he didn’t make a sound,” She laughs,” I screamed though, because there was a random man on the floor and I’d just put my full weight on his leg and he hadn’t made a sound. I thought he was dead.” 

You try not to grin at the imagery.

“After some convincing from Frank, I fell asleep, and in the morning both men were gone. Billy… well he didn’t like me at first. He was sure I’d trapped his friend in the marriage or something, but over time, he… honestly he didn’t really warm up to me until I went into labour.”

You sit there, transfixed by her story.

“Frank thinks she came a week early, but she was just on time. He was supposed to get back before she came but something top secret kept him there longer- anyways- Frank called Billy and Billy showed up at my doorstep in maybe ten minutes. Back then, he had this old, beat up Harley- strictly american- you know?” She glances at you as if you’re supposed to understand what she’s saying, but you can only shake your head in confusion.

She grins, “Sorry, he used to be real patriotic, American brands as much as possible,” She shakes her head, “He’s grown out of that since his discharge. Anyway- that was maybe the first day he actually cared about me, held my hand all the way to the delivery room, almost punched a nurse that told him family only. I was so mean to him too, probably almost broke his hand with the contractions. And then Lisa decided to wait, had me in labour for fourteen hours.”

Your eyes widen drastically, mouth dropping open. She laughs when she sees your face, finishing up her last mug to sit next to you.

“Yeah, gave Frank just enough time to get there. And then there were four of us.”

She blinks, smiling, deep in thought.

“Billy was scared of her, he didn’t hold her for at least two months after, he’d somehow worked it into his head that she wouldn’t like him, but one night I got real sick, and while Frank was taking care of me, he’d begged Billy to come over and take care of Lisa. The first time Frank put her in Billy’s arms, she cried, at the top of her lungs. I thought Billy would have given up immediately, but he didn’t, he rocked her in his arms till she was asleep, and even after he held on to her for as long as he physically could.”

“The moral, of my very long story is that Billy isn’t someone who gives up at the first sign of trouble, and he’s definitely not someone that gets annoyed with someone he loves. If he chooses you, he’s going to stick with you. He knows what it’s like to have no one on his side, and because of that, his loyalty is unbreakable.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest. You wanted to know him the way she did. You wanted stories like this to smile at when you thought of him. You wanted to know what he looked like, riding an old era motorbike, and to see him so drunk he can’t make it to a couch.

“I lost all of my friends because of him.” You whisper, heartbroken, “They thought I cheated on Dominic. Friends that I loved, blocked me because they thought I’d done something terrible.” 

She reaches to place her hand over yours, squeezing tightly.

“Maybe they weren’t very good friends to begin with.” She suggests softly.

You nod, understanding the point she was trying to get across. 

She makes you tea, something calming that makes you sluggish, offers up one of Billy’s old shirts for you to sleep in, and shows you to the guest room. Not once, does she suggest you go back to his home, so easily welcoming, that sleep is attainable within minutes.

Maria, considers for a moment while watching you sleep, that she should tell someone that you’re here. No doubt Billy doesn’t know you left, travelled all the way here by your lonesome. She unlocks her phone, pulls up her husband’s number, and hesitates on the call button. Maybe Billy’s reaction to finding you gone would set the both of you straight. 

She grins deviously, putting her phone away and getting ready for bed herself.

.

It’s almost three a.m when Billy gets back home. He’s tired, his shoulders sagging with having to carry the weight of them. His eyes hurt, feels so much discomfort in his whole body that only sleep can provide.

His shower is quick, functional, though the warm water begs him to stay and enjoy it, he gets out as soon as he can, ambling to the closet to grab a pair of comfortable pants for sleeping.

He moves in the dark, working on a memory of where everything is to stop him from making too much noise, not wanting to turn on the lights either, he really doesn’t want to wake you.

In the dark, his bed is deliciously comfortable, he lies on his front, before the area where his appendix was removed screams in protest and he’s forced to roll onto his back. He tucks his body under the soft duvet, feeling a thick sense of coziness overcome him.

He reaches a hand out- won't be fully comfortable until he touches your skin, confirming that you're there. In his drowsy state, he struggles to find you. He groans, moving even closer to where he thinks you are, fingers scanning the bed, only finding chilled sheets. He opens his eyes, squinting at the other side of the bed and sees no shape that even resembles you. You simply weren't here.

Were you sleeping somewhere else? 

He sits up, rubbing an eye so that he can see a little more clearly, turning to flip on the bedside lamp to confirm that you really weren't next to him.

Yeah, definitely not in bed.

He stands, sways, groans, pads his way to the living room to find it empty, then searches your office, then his. He says your name, but the only thing that answers is the silence.

He grabs his phone, looking into the almost too bright screen, trying to decipher words that help him find your contact. He squints, pressing the call button before waiting.

Your phone rings and rings and rings and no one answers.

It's then, that Billy begins to feel the panic. He takes a deep breath, calling your number again, searching his house for anything he might have missed, anything at all that tells him where his wife had gone.

He calls for you, all sleep erased from his mind, he does a finer walk through of his place, looking for items out of place, signs of struggle.

If you'd left, someone would have seen you and told him, right?

What if you'd been kidnapped?

Billy feels his lungs seize up.

He looks down at his phone again, hands shaking, opening up the location app he'd installed just in case. He'd told you about it, told you how to disable it if you really didn't want to be found. This would help him narrow down what kind of situation he was in.

He lets a breath out when he sees your little symbol pop up- you'd chosen the image of a black cat for some reason- he zooms out, eyebrows drawing together when he sees where your phone is.

He closes the app, calls Frank.

“Whad'ya want, Russo?” Comes Frank's sleepy voice after a few rings.

“Is my wife in your house?” Billy asks, a lot calmer than he feels.

Frank says your name in question.

“Yes, Frankie, ask Maria.”

He hears some shuffling.

“It's four in the morning Bill, I'm not waking my wife for that, I'll just check the guest bedroom.”

Billy waits, listening to Frank's slow breaths, his hand gripping his phone tightly, his other hand curled into a fist.

“Oh yeah, there she is.”

Billy sags with relief.

You were okay.

“I'm coming.” Billy announces.

“Use your spare, I'm going to bed.” Frank grunts, before ending the call.

Billy grabs his coat and the keys to his fastest car and nothing more, leaving his apartment quickly, wide awake now more than ever.

He breaks every speed limit possible, makes it to Frank's home in half the time it usually takes. His body hurts as he has to move slowly now, quietly so that he doesn’t disturb the peace in the house.

He uses his spare key, locking the door behind him, double checking Frank's security while he's here. 

He finds the guest bedroom easily, having stayed here countless times, he knows this place like he knows his own.

His stomach twists, he wonders why you left. Did you not want to be around him? Had something else happened? He knew that the chances of you running away were low, ever since he'd shamelessly listened to the conversation between you and Dominic (He'd bugged the office of course) he'd had an inkling that maybe you were growing to love him as much as he loves you.

The door clicks shut behind him, and he feels a sense of ease wash right over him at the sight of your sleeping form. 

He pushes his coat off his shoulders, torso bare underneath as he climbs into bed and hovers over you.

His hands cup your face, waking you with a little start.

“Billy?” You hum, voice so tiny, his little wife disturbed from slumber.

He can't help it, leaning in to kiss you softly, followed by him wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“Why'd you leave home, baby, hmm?” He asks, cheek pressed to the top of your head.

Your voice is muffled in his chest.

“Was lonely.” You say.

It damn near breaks his heart.

“I'm sorry.” He sighs, and he means it with every bone in his body.

“S’alright, you're here now.”

And he is, crawls under the sheets, wraps you in his arms, and feels the stress drip right out of him. Only then, does he allow sleep to take him.

.

He wakes to laughter. He blinks, sitting up, an automatic response to the sound.

Hearing laughter while he slept was never a good sign. In the group home it meant that some poor kid's face was being written on. In the military, it was shaving cream on your hands, or dirt in your bed.

He bolts up, looks around, determines no danger before he relaxes.

He smiles, slips out of bed, and goes in search of one of the shirts he keeps around for situations like these.

.

“Honestly,” Maria says enthusiastically, uncapping the milk she just pulled from the fridge, “I thought we were goners, Billy was still recovering from that gunshot that almost made him bleed out in the desert, and Frank had several grazes, but even injured like that, the burglars never stood a chance.”

Your eyes are wide in suspense.

“Where was Lisa?” 

“In bed beside me, Frank shook me awake and we hid in the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he came and got me cause the fight was over.”

“Holy shit, that sounds terrifying. I've had some almost run-ins with burglars as well at my old place.”

“Really? What happened?” Maria asks, really interested, concern in the undertones of her voice.

“It was close to Christmas and almost everyone in the building was out visiting family, but I was studying for an exam the next day for my old job.” You think back to it, deep in thought, “I remember hearing heavy footsteps in the hall, and then the sound of doors shaking. I had my lights off because they’d made my eyes burn and I was just using my lamp lights, so it maybe looked like I wasn’t home. The person was trying each door, shaking them hard. I can still hear the rattle. I texted Nic, and he’d told me to hide, but before I could call the police, the rattling just stopped. I sat in silence for a long time. I was kind of shocked dumb, and I didn’t call the police because it seemed like he left without any real harm being done. I probably should have, but also I really needed to study for this stupid exam. I did tell my landlord though, and she tightened security and it never happened again. I really regret not calling the police though.”

Maria nods, relating to you.

“Fear can really hold you in place. I’m sure whoever it was, got what they deserve, don’t stress about it too much.”

You smile, mimicking her nod. She really understood you, and you find yourself hooked to the Castles just a little bit more.

Just then her smile widens as her eyes flit behind you for just a second.

You turn to look back curiously when suddenly you get pulled into someone’s arms. You know it’s him from the moment you touch, you grin widely at the way he squeezes you.

“Excuse us for a second, Maria,” Billy says, hand gripping your wrist to tug you in the direction of the guest bedroom, “I need a moment with my wife.”

She nods, before remembering something.

“There are kids in the house.” She warns sternly, locking eyes with Billy.

“Wet blanket.” He shoots back as he tugs you around the corner and out of the room.

The door to the guest bedroom can only slink shut before you’re pressed against it. Your eyes fall shut as his mouth meets yours, your heart fluttering so surely that you’re sure it’ll fly soon. He kisses like he’s starving, hands holding your face, mouth eager against yours, you copy his fervour, pulling him closer by the shoulders, the delight of feeling your passion mirrored isn’t lost on you.

You smile up at him happily when the kiss breaks, only for him to drop his head once again, ever eager for just one more kiss.

“Is everything alright?” You whisper softly, confused about his feverish kisses.

“I’m sorry.” 

“...For?”

He touches the tip of your nose softly with his.

“Where do I even fucking begin? I’m sorry I left you alone, I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to sneak out, I’m sorry that I’m the reason you have no friends-”

“-That one wasn’t really all you,” You interject, “They didn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt.”

He shakes his head.

“I’m just… sorry for all the pain I put you through.”

You can’t bear to hear him say it, your throat squeezes tight at the very sound of the words.

“It’s alright,” You reassure, rising onto your toes to kiss him, “We’re alright.”

.

You peek at him while he drives, wondering if now was the best time to talk to him.

He catches you looking, raising an eyebrow curiously, eyes turned back to the road.

You think that maybe there’s no time like the present, and you take a deep breath, reaching out for his hand before you catch yourself, moving your hand back to your side.

Before you can get fully there, he reaches out, taking your hand in his. You turn your head to look at him in surprise.

“Notice you’ve been doing that a lot.” He murmurs, tugging your hand up to his mouth so that he can kiss the back of your hand, “Reaching for me and stopping halfway. Making fists with your hands to stop yourself. Why?”

“I just, don’t want to annoy you is all.”

He huffs in amusement, you feel his warm breath on the back of your hand.

“You’re funny.” He hums, giving your hand another kiss.

“I’m serious.” You whisper.

His lips part, eyebrows drawing together as he slows his driving a little to look at you.

“You’re serious?” He echoes, “You think you could annoy me?”

“I think I could annoy a saint.” You grumble.

“You know that I’m… obsessed with you right?” 

“Are you? I hadn’t noticed.” You say dryly.

He huffs out a breath of amusement for a second time.

“Do you know what that means? It means I’ve seen your medical records.” 

You glance at him, shock running down your spine.

“And?”

“And I’ve done background checks on everyone you’ve ever met.”

You try to swallow but your throat has gone dry.

“And?” You whisper, his hand is still in yours, holding on to you.

“And I know where you went to school, I pulled your student records, I’ve scoured the internet for your face and I’ve probably seen photos of you that maybe you don’t even know existed. I’ve wanted you since the day we met, and nothing could have stopped me,” He turns to look you in the eye, “Not even you.”

“I’m sorry to scare you, but if you think that I don’t know how needy you are, how touch starved, how badly you want to be held, what makes you cry, you’re lying to yourself. I know all of these things, and I want you because of them.”

You close your eyes, trying to process his words in a reasonable way.

God, there had to be something seriously wrong with the both of you. Him, for saying those things, and you, for managing to somehow feel reassured by them, even if there was a little fear mixed in.

You don’t say another word to him the rest of the way back.

There’s a silence all around you as you follow him into the apartment, a whirring in your ear that sounds like waves of static, disconnecting you from reality.

You reach out, gripping his arm tightly. He turns, looking down at you with an unnameable expression.

“I need you.” You say softly through half-gritted teeth, pulling him roughly, feverishly toward the living room.

He doesn’t say a word, and you’re grateful for that, he’s said enough already.

“Take it off.” You breathe, reaching for your own pants, pulling them off, followed by your shirt. He catches the intention behind your movement, and drops his coat easily.

When you get yourself naked, you lie back on the couch, not having to wait long before his naked body covers yours.

“Do you need me to-” He offers, and you silence him by pressing a finger to his lips.

You shake your head, reaching down, pumping his hard cock a few times before guiding him into your dripping wet core.

Billy gasps in surprise.

“Shocked?” You tease, “I thought you knew everything about me.”

His eyes darken, something terrifying crosses his features. He moves his arms, braces one on each side of your head. Your eyes flit to the snake curled over his shoulder.

“I don’t know everything about you,” He hums, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement, “But I will.”

.

.

.

A/N: Happy Holidays to you!

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 3

Light Fades to Rain

Okay, let's gush. Here are my feelings about the anime adaptation of chapters 360-362: season 7 episode 11. This will quickly devolve from eloquent discussion to raging madness I promise.

The opening five minutes are the weakest part of the episode. This is the only section I will lodge any complaints about, and honestly they're not that serious.

The sadomasochism got toned down :P

I kind of expected it, and honestly I get why. Even though it was scaled back, the scene was effective enough for most viewers because there's just something about seeing it animated that makes it feel visceral anyways. The detail was always going to be reduced in the art when adapted to animation, and a lot of that art could've looked really bad without the necessary detail.

But it wouldn't be on brand for me if I didn't mention that it bummed me out lol.

The only other thing I can complain about isn't even an issue with the episode, it's an error in the subtitles.

"...you're just goldfish poop next to All For One."

a) It should be "One For All," not "All For One."

b) I don't think they should have kept it as "goldfish poop." Sorry to any language purists out there, but the idiomatic meaning of this phrase in Japanese will not get picked up by an English-speaking audience--and that idiom is important. It has an impact on how Katsuki behaves going forward. I think the subtitles should have changed that to something like "a minnow in One For All's wake" or "a tag-along weakling," ANYTHING to get the point across that Tomura is trying to inflict psychological damage by telling Katsuki he'll never amount to anything on the level of One For All. That message informs the rest of the episode!

Now, if that's the only complaint I have about this whole episode--a slightly too-fast-paced-under-detailed opening scene and a bad subtitle--then I'm a happy camper. And indeed that is the only complaint I have.

This episode is a masterpiece of adaptation.

The focus on the Big Three is so good because it does such a good job of masking where the episode is going but it's perfectly in-theme because of the parallels the three of them have with Izuku and Katsuki. IT JUST WORKS MAN. I LOVE IT.

The music that plays when Katsuki mutters is an excellent choice, though I wish they could have done something to hammer the point home more that he was indeed muttering and analyzing like Izuku does. Maybe the little "mutter" text would've been dissonant in tone lol but still I wish there was a way they could've done it. I do think the point does come across in the end still, but it's just more impactful when you get to see the little "mutter" text come full circle. Yeah yeah, manga vs anime and all that.

I didn't expect the tone they went with for Jeanist's reaction to Katsuki's muttering, but it was just different not like bad or anything. I kinda liked the whole "what the fuuuuck" vibe of it. I was thinking more like "Holy shit, I'm a proud dad" tone but this works XD

Jeanist is such a dad.

HE SPARKLE. KATSUKI, HE SPARKLE. IT SO PRETTY. AT LAST.

The animators were SOOOO trying to hide the twist this episode from the anime-only viewers, they didn't even put Katsuki on the commercial bumpers, they didn't want to SPOIL THE SURPRISE. IT'S SO GOOD.

Lost it at Tenko's freak out (damn voice actor wow) and Mirio's "g-gomen." I need the dub of this scene so bad.

JEANIST MY FIRST LOVE, DAD-ING SO HARD ALL OVER THIS EPISODE LOOK AT HIM GO.

Nejire is adorable as hell and everyone in MHA is so easily read as autistic it's remarkable actually.

They really put the typography behind the plasma cannon they actually did that.

UNF THAT PIANO. THE PIANO GOES OFF ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS EPISODE, DAMN.

Also good job on making the plasma cannon blast look small and precise to contrast Katsuki's attack last episode, because Katsuki definitely has more firepower but Tamaki has the finesse to concentrate the attack for a sustained period.

BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS

Everything from BOOTS on is perfection I know you all already know that.

Jeanist's voice acting is underappreciated, I really loved him this episode.

The little special sound effect for his clusters now!!! IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. I CAN'T WAIT TO SUPERIMPOSE IT OVER KATAMARI DAMACY NEXT SEASON

Present Mic with the La Brava's-Love-quirk soft narration omg [chef's kiss]

OKAMOTO. OKAMOTO OH MY GOD. YOU GIVING ME FEELINGS WITH YOUR VOICE CRACKS I CAN'T SLEEP

The slo-mo shots are so pretty ;_;

THEY GAVE US MORE KUDOU TOO AND IT WAS SO GOOD, THE CONNECTION WAS DRAWN SO WELL BETWEEN HIM AND KATSUKI I AM LOVING IT SO MUCH. IT ALSO HELPS THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THIS IS DEFINITELY THE AFO-DOMINANT PERSONALITY NOT TOMURA.

Even if this series ends without explaining it, I'm going to come up with my own explanation for that vestige world shit. That cannot just be symbolic afterlife bullcrap. IT MEANS SOMETHING.

He's just a boy ;_; He's just a baby boyyyyyy

GIVE HIM HIS AUTOGRAPH BY THE END OF THIS SERIES SO HELP ME--

he spin thru the air like a meme

It's time for Horikoshi's favorite character: Bakucorpse!

You wanted the blue sky gone, but at what cost?

YES I'M LOVING THE VIBE FROM THE THUNDER SOUND

Oh...oh it hurts a lot to see in color, oh he's so pale...ohhhh no

THAT ENDING SONG? NOW? HOW DARE.

That horrifying feeling of emptiness at the end :)

The joy of watching others cry over this 👀

Katsuki is the actual symbol of hope I don't care what anyone says. All hope of victory is lost with his death and the only chance of winning comes from reviving him with the literal power of hopes and prayers and wishes. He is Hope Incarnate. A very Sassy (Soft Precious) Hope Incarnate.

[medievalandfantasymelee]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

FIRST ROUND: 27th Tilt

Cesare Borgia, The Borgias (2011-2013) VS. Prince Hamlet, Hamlet (1948)

Propaganda

Cesare Borgia, The Borgias (2011-2013) Portrayed by: Francois Arnaud Defeated Opponents: - Ancelyn ap Gwalchmai [Marcus Gilbert], Doctor Who: ��Battlefield” (1989)

“How do I even begin to explain Cesare Borgia? - Cesare Borgia is flawless. - He has one duchy and two cardinalates. - I hear his hair is insured for 10,000 ducates. - I hear he does Church speeches… in Spain. - His favorite painter is Pinturicchio - One time, he met Caterina Sforza in Forlì. And she told him he was pretty. - One time, he threatened to kill me… it was awesome! This man.... this man, this man. He is the complete package: a perfect case of competent kink, a ruthless bastard (ie sexy) AND he's so irredeemably fucked up you also get the "I could fix him" complex. This is the man who could had it all and yet he wasn't enough (again, sexy).

Prince Hamlet, Hamlet (1948) Portrayed by: Laurence Olivier Defeated Opponents: - Björn Ironside [Alexander Ludwig], Vikings (2013)

“1) That slutty thing he does with his leg in the character-intro shot. I see those calf muscles in those customary suits of solemn black. Unf. 2) The EYES. Haunted. Enormous. Intense. 3) The way his hand hovers millimeters above Jean Simmons' hair in the "Get thee to a nunnery!" scene. Not over it, never over it. 4) Vulnerability is hot, especially when it's transgressive/unexpected, and this Hamlet has that in spades. 5) "Lady, may I lie in your lap?" The sincerity of desire under the veneer of everything else just undoes me.”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Cesare Borgia:

(Excerpted from above propaganda) "He's serving cunt at ALL times. In Cardinal clothes? Serving cunt. In "civil" clothes? Serving cunt. In armor? Serving cunt. He had one of the most competent thinkers and do I say philosopher of his time (Machiavelli) *fawning* over him. Was he a tyrant? Possibly, but it's one we LOVE. The man [Machiavelli] literally BASED A BOOK on him.... (Cont. under the cut)

"He has a personal assassin of ...unmatched abilities and YET he's even better than the man himself!!! He tries to kill his own would be killer in like the pilot episode and the man was ready to swear absolute fealty to him. As would I, to be honest. As would anyone and everyone. SO much cunt is Cesare Borgia serving at all times!!!

"We love him and loathe him and love to loathe him. His father loves and hates him bc they're too similar. His brother wishes he were him (he's not) His sister doesn't see anyone else. Lucrezia... yes: the incest is fucked up. Also that's why we love it- it's so unhinged, as anything Borgia should be!!! Their relationship... perfect. She's the only one that can possibly understand him, she's the only one he truly loves. She loves him and always has - only a Borgia can truly love a Borgia amirite?

This is a man who is clearly Not Okay and you want so much for him to Be Okay but at the same time not, because it's so much more entertaining when he's not and also we love a hopeless case. I rest my case only bc I lose any trace of coherence when talking about him so I dont know what more to add.”

For Hamlet:

[selkiewife]

The Hunt Episode is so pivotal because Viserys is so into baby Aegon at first! He’s playing with him and remarking about how much they look alike and generally just seems so happy with the son he’s always dreamed would be.

He spends the rest of the episode torn between Rhaenyra and Aegon- essentially torn between the guilt he feels over killing his wife in pursuit of his dream son and the desire to believe his dream really was true- and that Aegon is the son of his dream and should be crowned king. And then there is the whole white hart search that haunts the entire episode:

OTTO: The royal huntsman have sent a report, Your Grace. There's been a sighting of a white hart. The stag is "The King of the Kingswood," Your Grace. A regal portent for Prince Aegon's name day.

Otto sets up the white hart as a divine sign that Aegon should be the future king. And though Viserys spends most of the episode upset at everyone's politicking- he does confess to Alicent that he might have been wrong to name Rhaenyra heir, now that he has a son:

VISERYS: You know, I... I named her to protect the realm from Daemon. She was my only child. "The Realm's Delight." I named her out of love because I no longer believed... ALICENT: Believed what, my love? VISERYS: Many in my line have been dragonriders. Very few among us have been dreamers. What is the power of a dragon... next to the power of prophecy? ALICENT: The hour is too late, husband. VISERYS: When Rhaenyra was a child... I saw it in a dream... as vivid as these flames, I saw it. A male babe born to me... wearing the Conqueror's crown. And I so wanted it to be true, to be a dreamer myself. I sought that vision again, night after night... but it never came again. I poured all my thought and will into it. And my obsession killed Rhaenyra's mother. ALICENT: Viserys. VISERYS: I thought Rhaenyra was the way out of my abyss of grief and regret. And naming her heir would begin to set things right. ALICENT: Oh, it did. VISERYS: I never imagined I would remarry... that I would have a son. What if I was wrong?

It is so interesting that it is right after this that the horns are blown and they tell Viserys that the white hart has been found. Because I think this is the scene that makes up Viserys' mind. They bring this poor brown stag to Viserys and it is clearly not the white hart. And Viserys cannot even kill him cleanly. You can see he doesn't really want to kill this stag, but he does it because it is expected, because he is the King, because it is in honor of his son's 2nd name day, etc. But I think that maybe the senseless butchering of this poor creature reminds Viserys of Aemma. I might be reaching, but I felt like he was reminded of how he allowed her to be butchered in the quest for a male heir. And as he is butchering this stag, he has to face the fact that it is not actually a sign. It is only a regular stag, not a white hart. It is not a sign. And it is after this moment that Viserys decides that he will no longer be swayed by the other lords nor by his own desire for his prophetic dream to be true. He will keep Rhaenyra as heir for Aemma, as he explains to her after the hunt:

VISERYS: Rhaenyra... I did waver at one time. But I swear to you now, on your mother's memory, you will not be supplanted.

And I think that once he decided Rhaenyra was his heir and that he would not supplant her, that’s when he began to distance himself from Aegon. So maybe it wasn’t that he didn’t like him or found him unworthy- as Aegon assumes in the carriage ride- but that he was afraid he would like him too much and that he would be swayed to choose him as a fulfillment of his prophetic dream.

The tragic irony about ALL of this is that Viserys really was a dreamer. But his interpretation of the dream was wrong. Viserys does (unintentionally) end up placing his son on the throne- and "all the dragons roared as one,” just as he prophesied. But, they roar as one in war... in a war with each other. Viserys unfortunately was not dreaming that his son would "unite the realm against the cold and the dark." He was not dreaming that his son was the “Prince that was Promised.” His prophetic dream was actually about the Dance of the Dragons.

[mrstsung]

Shang tsung's and why i love them:

1995 shang tsung: Cary Hiroyuki Mofo Tagawa. Nuff said! That movie is a Klassic and you can't hold a candle to it. Cary still got it after many years in my opinion. And still can do shang's voice or even old man shang now that he's now a fine older gentleman. Either way. I love classic 95 shang.

Mk: shaolin monks: my childhood,ok look he's special to me. Mk2 shang is still badass,and difficult af to fight but also fun to fight as. Still love him. Bearded shang ftw.

Mk:legends: look old man shang tsung can get it any day but i love the legends animated movies. He has just enough swag,charm,and charisma like always but subtle. Unfortunately,it's so fast paced and i wish he had more fight scenes and was written with a little more grace.

Mk:11: oh boy tagawa ages like a fine wine. But his voice got better. More intimidating. More charm. Unf. Good shit right there. Besides,tagawa IS shang tsung,you can't top that. But mk11 wasn't bad,not the best. But not bad. Tagawa saved it imho.

Mk12/mk1: now i don't like everything. And despite my gripes with the poor execution of the story and pacing and all the unnecessary changes and crap. I can't lie. Shang tsung there is sexy af. But i just wish people weren't so weird about him. And i wish they'd stop comparing him to other characters that honestly,have nothing in common with him other than magic and cunning. When no offense,shang runs circles around them. Plus he's his own character and should be treated with respect. I'm sick of him being treated like someones designer dog instead of an interesting,and important character. Like damn. But anyways. Mk12/mk1 shang, alan Lee's shang tsung suffers the same problem that art butler's shang tsung did. Poor writing,fast paced,sloppy script,and little to no payoff. Nothing of significance changed. Shang's still treated like shit and if not worse. An accessory to buy instead of an integral part of lore like he's supposed to be. (Im sorry shang you gotta be treated like this) so god damn much potential.

Honorable mentions Mk9 and mk:conquest: ok still got me after many years. I'd be a piss liar if i didn't say i miss this shang tsung. I do miss sleazy,cheesy,and bearded shang tsung. However i still say he needs more grace,respect,and love just as much. And i don't mind the more cartoony aspects. Hell anyone whos been around long enough with mk knows that's where it started. But yeah. I miss him dearly. I mean that's what i grew up on.

So yeah shang is shang to me. But not all shang's are equal. Some i love more than others.

[oneknightstand-if]

Watching princess bride rn.

Which characters are the ROs Faves?

Will the MC get a chance for a hard ass like like Wesley's "To the pain" moment?

Who laughs at the Mawwaige scene?

Merlin: The one who could actually pull off the "To the pain..." Of course, Merlin prefers the sillier moments and characters like Miracle Max and Westley only being "mostly dead".

Adrian: His favorite character is the "editor" William Goldman who cut out large sections of the story in the novel and added in off-topic rants about his personal life instead and-- oh, wait, you mean the movie? ... well, they should've added that editor guy in there!

Arthur: There's absolutely no way he's ever seen this, but if the MC or the group in general started talking about it, he'd go out of his way to try and watch it. After he does the 12-hour Monty Python marathon with the Cloudcuckoolander MC.

Percy: He may or may not be continuously introducing himself with "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" (He and serial killer MC can have that in common.) Of course that means his favorite character is Buttercup.

4̵0̵4̵ ̷E̵r̶r̴o̵r̸ ̴N̴o̷t̶ ̶F̵o̸u̷n̶d̴: Obviously the shrieking eels are their favorites. They needed way more screen time!

Cassandra: Yeah... she hasn't seen it and probably wouldn't mostly get it... and by that I mean she'd keep exclaiming that things would've gone far smoother if more poison was being used here.

Gwen: When asked what Camelot legend she wanted to be the reincarnation of, she CANONLY says "Princess Buttercup". Yes, that's making it into the actual game.

Vivian: Her favorite part of the movie is the section that takes place in the Fire Swamp, but the shrieking eels scene on the ship are also good, poor darlings going unfed.

Lorelei: Meh. This is really not her type of thing. But at least it's more a satire than playing the whole chivalrous one-true-love type thing, straight? Also, the Dread Pirate Roberts really needs a better mask to hide his identity.

Broderick: He's still traumatized from the time the Princess Bride was assigned for summer reading in high school and he just so happened to watch the movie instead *coughs* and oops, it seems there were some plot differences. Like who is this "editor" people keep talking about?

[goblinmatriarch]

Drarry 2022 Roundup!

Just some drarry I loved in 2022.

Love to do year round-ups weeks after the year ended and with zero system or approach except scrolling back through my bookmarks and being like "aw yeah, that one! Nice!". Anyway, here are 16 drarry fics that got me through 2022.

Contretemps by @moonflower-rose (8.5k)

This was my erised gift and it's perfect! Some really fun magical lore, a perfectly fumbling bumbling Harry with a crush, and the rare oblivious Draco. It's quick and witty and sparklingly awkward.

The Unknown Door by waterwings (70k)

This fic was in a class by itself! The house magic was eerie and Draco's post-war fate was bleak, and then there is a slow, glorious healing of everyone through a community of misfits. Really imaginative magic and a lot of finding of lost ways.

The Stuff of Clouds and Skies by @myrtlefics (7.5k)

Harry with an obvious crush and ANOTHER oblivious Draco, truly 2022 was my year in that regard! And then there are the 17th century ghost bros, and Draco helplessly finding himself having to do things he thought he'd never do again to save Harry. And THEN Draco has to spend a bunch of time stumbling through an Auror investigation with a competent Ron and it's all just.....unf, so good.

Romp and Circumstance by @wolfpants (35k)

Like drinking champagne while horny. Such a sexy, fun fic, which makes sense as it's from Bodice Ripper Fest. Draco as the virginal ingenue meeting Harry's rake seduction head-on was delicious and overwhelming and full of 'technically' not crossing any sexy sexy lines, which, if you're into that, is hot as all get-out. (Spoiler: I am into that)

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss (35k)

Hogwarts AU that puts Harry and Draco on the same team and also makes quidditch have some level of strategy, a feat in and of itself! Harry is a confused, bumbling seducer who is so bad at it that Draco has no idea, which means......another oblivious!Draco! It's funny and insightful and poignant and well worth a read.

In Free Fall by @kbrick (81k)

Harry is an adrenaline junkie doing stunts all over the world. Draco is a big old nerd. They grow to understand each other and make space in one another's lives. This was really thoughtful and insightful about like....mm, maybe what it's like wanting things different from the standard, and I was enthralled by the way Harry shaped and reshaped his life. Honestly don't think I'm doing this one justice, just read it.

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (14.5k)

Ahhh this one is so much fun! Fake dating! Fake dating! And then a furious but handsome Draco, a community of friends, some very cool magical jobs, and Drunk Hermione my love.

The Truth about Love by waterwings (52k)

Pureblood magic and rituals being dismantled! All the fun of learning about ancient, complicated snobby binding rituals AND the joy of Draco's personal growth being in dismantling them. Lots of great friendship stuff, with Pansy and Hermione especially as affectionately mocking allies.

I have not yet forgot myself to stone by @elskanellis (3k)

Absolutely haunting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind LCDrarry crossover. It's ambiguously tragic and lovely and fragile and beautiful. It takes the trope of them finding each other over and over no matter what and turns Harry's utter faith into a tragic flaw.

Welcome! Everything is Fine! by @melociraptor (12k)

A smart and funny Good Place @lcdrarry fic with pitch-perfect character voices. Truly worth a read for drarry encountering Jason Mendoza alone, and then there is EVEN MORE to love beyond that! It's sort of picaresque scenes from a year, varying between hilariously silly to startlingly poignant, and it's worth a read even if you're unfamiliar with the original work.

Our Time by @mosrael (40k)

Another fic with astonishing world-building and deeply cool magical lore. I've never seen the work it's based on (Arrival), and I did not care. The driving magical mystery was exciting, and the drarry relationship develops naturally and joyously alongside it.

Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8k)

I could have linked p much any tackytiger fic I've read this year buuuut this one is most recent in my bookmarks so it gets the shout-out 😂. It's a lovely, short, second-person look at Harry's observations of Draco over the years. Read it and then also the rest of tacky's fics.

Tis a Far Better Thing by @the-sinking-ship (37k)

This Clueless AU sent me on a tear through all of Sinking Ship's fics, and I stand by that choice. Draco's voice blends beautifully with Cher's, and Draco as the lost, confused fashion plate socialite discovering himself is absolutely perfect. This reclist could maybe double as an oblivious!Draco one because guess what he's here, too, and I love it.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @dustmouth-blog (96k)

Comfort read that feels like taking a long hot bath then crawling into clean sheets for almost 100k words! Harry has some mh stuff to grapple with, and there are some gentle negotiations around sex and relationship stuff, and it's all so careful and soft and soothing.

Exposure by @margeurite (6k)

Suuuuch a hot fic omg. Draco accidentally discovers Harry's exhibitionist streak alongside Harry himself awkwardly realising oh no he is into this and it's just. Hoo boy. It's steamy.

Come as you Are by @peachpety (3.5k)

Peach is a master of texting/social media in fics, and this was the one that made me fall in love! Sweet little high school AU with awkward sexuality and a lot of fun online gossip

Potential Gravity by zeitgeistic (32k)

This one stands on its own; I can't really compare it to any other fic. Harry's lack of care for his own life is in full effect, and Draco is so angry at him for it. Some cool looks at magic and magical govt outside of England (in Beirut!) And also there is a baby manticore.

Knead, then let rise by @softlystarstruck (7k)

I guess another theme of my year is soft, gentle, soothing fics of healing. Real mystery, that, cannot even guess why that might have been 😅. Anyway, it's lovely and domestic and sweet.

And that's all, folks! Read em, don't read em, but those were my favourite fics that I read in 2022! Thanks to all the authors for making me laugh, cry, or soothe myself to sleep!

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Top 5 bl kisses of 2023! :)

There were so many good kisses this year, and I couldn't pick just 5, so here's an incomplete list of many that made me crazy, in no order whatsoever. I will attempt to not yell about why I loved them (much)

My Personal Weatherman rooftop in the rain kiss. Kisses that follow confessions slash come after Big Feelings happen are so important

I Feel You Linger In The Air dancing in the rain kiss.

Just... Ugh. Every scene they're in, you can feel how much they want each other, and it spills everywhere here

Sand and Ray's shotgun kiss (and also all their kisses) made me feel insane. I love them unreasonably, and First and Khao are so good at making you feel every single thing. Their AkkAyan kisses in The Eclipse Our Skyy 2 were also incredible. The way they embody their characters and their feelings -- physically and emotionally -- is stunning to watch

PalmNueng's "we're boyfriends" kiss. Pond puts his whole body into their kisses, and when he finally allowed himself to touch back? *screams*

Jae Won and Ji Hyun's reunion kiss. The relief and the want just poured off the screen. I hope these two are in something else soon, they were incredible.

Kinguea's boundaries conversation kiss.

Consent is sexy, and so are they. (I had a hard time choosing between this and the kitty ears kiss, but 🤷🏼‍♀️)

JengPat car kiss.

They want each other so much. Man and Ben have incredible chemistry. When Pat pulled Jeng back in? Unf.

Jaab and Jen's pinky promise kiss. They teetered on this edge of almost for so long, and this kiss where they're literally bridging the space between them was beautiful.

Every single kiss between these two was beautiful. The first kiss, with Ze Rui ckiming into Zong Yi's lap after that moment of hesitation? Incredible. The couch kiss when Zong Yi presses Ze Rui's hands over his head? I made an embarassing sound. The reunion kiss, whrer there's a moment where Ze Rui thinks he's still dreaming broke my heart. (More than honorable mention to Cheng Yi and Ai Di kisses).

I need these two in more things.

Patts and Tai's on the floor kiss, when Tai finally let himself want Patts. The wonder on Patts face, and Tai's embracing his desire for the first time was beautiful.

Also, gifless kisses, because this is getting out of hand:

Tew and Guy's "we're boyfriends" kiss. Meen and Ping have beautiful chemistry

CharlieBabe's first kiss. 'Nuff said.

Venus and Sky, basically all of them. Cheque and Tod commit to the kisses and the sexy times like whoa.

JoongDunk... I mean JokeZo's "pulled him inside just to melt his brain and kicj him out again" kiss. JoongDunk delivered.

Shang Zhuo ans Shun Yu's "we're boyfriends" kiss. These two give good kiss.

Honestly, there were so many good kisses this year. These are just some of the ones that made me insanest.

(Sorry this is a mess, visually. I ended up using like, 4 different programs for the gifs and they're a mess. I didn't keep track of the gif sources like I should have, so if you see your gif please lmk so i can credit you.

Sorry this posted incomplete the first time!)

[stardewshanebae]

Stardew Valley Bachelor(ettes) + Hozier & Taylor Swift

My personal interpretation of stardew marriage candidates and the hozier and Taylor swift songs that fit them w/ lyrics. Disclaimer: created in a fit of insomnia.

Bachelorettes

Abigail: Long Live TV, take me to church

“Long live all the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you”

“If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight. To keep the Goddess on my side, she demands a sacrifice, ‘Drain the whole sea Get something shiny Something meaty for the main course That's a fine looking high horse What you got in the stable? We've a lot of starving faithful’, That looks tasty That looks plenty This is hungry work”

Emily: bejeweled, someone new

“Best believe I'm still bejeweled. When I walk in the room I can still make the whole place shimmer”

“There's an art to life's distractions to somehow escape the burning weight, the art of scraping through. Some like to imagine the dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do. Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way. And so I fall in love just a little, oh a little bit every day with someone new”

Haley: Wildest Dreams, Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene

“Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe— Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again Even if it's just in your wildest dreams”

“Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet. Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile, it's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet. With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean, she's the angel of small death and the codeine scene. With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean, she's the angel of small death and the codeine scene”

Leah: Willow, In a Week

“I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night—rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife. And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face. Lost in your current like a priceless wine”

“We lay here for years or for hours, thrown here or found to freeze or to thaw. So long, we'd become the flowers. Two corpses we were, Two corpses I saw”

Maru: Mastermind, sunlight

“Once upon a time, the planets and the fates And all the stars aligned You and I ended up in the same room At the same time And the touch of a hand lit the fuse Of a chain reaction of countermoves To assess the equation of you Checkmate, I couldn't lose”

“I would shun the light, share in evening's cool and quiet Who would trade that hum of night? For sunlight, sunlight, sunlight But whose heart would not take flight? Betray the moon as acolyte On first and fierce affirming sight Of sunlight, sunlight, sunlight”

Penny: Mine TV, I, Carrion

“Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water? You put your arm around me, for the first time, You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing that's ever been mine. Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing that's ever been mine”

“You have me floatin' like a feather on the sea while you're as heavy as the world that you hold your hands beneath. Once I had wondered what was holdin' up the ground, but I can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down. Leave it now, I am sky-bound If you need to, darling, lean your weight to me”

Bachelors

Alex: So High School, Wasteland, Baby!

“Truth, dare, spin bottles You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full throttle Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto It's true, swear, scout's honor You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her Brand new, full throttle You already know, babe”

“All the fear and the fire Of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too Wasteland, baby I'm in love I'm in love with you”

Elliot: False God, Francesca

“I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me Honey hell is when I fight with you But we can patch it up good Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness Got the wine for you”

“Though I know my heart would break I'll tell them put me back in it Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah If I could hold you for a minute. Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah I would still be surprised I could find you, darling In any life If I could hold you for a minute Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah I would not change it each time Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I”

Harvey: Safe & Sound, Too Sweet

“Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound”

“I take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three, you’re too sweet for me”

Sam: Electric Touch, Jackie and Wilson

“All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life And I want you now, wanna need you forever In the heat of your electric touch”

“She's gonna save me, call me "baby" Run her hands through my hair She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily Better yet, she wouldn't care We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives Ride 'round picking up clues We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson Raise 'em on rhythm and blues”

Sebastian: Snow on the Beach, Better Love

“Now it's like snow at the beach Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful You wanting me tonight feels impossible But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around Like snow on the beach”

“And I've never loved a darker blue than the darkness I have known in you, own from you You, whose heart would sing of anarchy You would laugh at meanings, guarantees, so beautifully When our truth is burned from history By those who figured justice in fond memory, witness me Like fire weeping from a cedar tree Know that my love would burn with me We'll live eternally”

Shane: Gold Rush, first time

“'Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush”

“And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same But you spoke some quick new music That went so far to soothe this soul As it was and ever shall be Unearth without a name Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me baby And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me baby”

[mlm-writer]

Bleed Clean (Dorian Pavus x M!Reader)

Pairing:  Dorian Pavus x Straight Male Reader (trans-friendly) Rating: Mature Words: 1068 POV: Second Summary: The Big Tober Day 9 - Coming out + bad reaction Note: Please pay attention to the poetry that is the last sentence of this piece. Also being confused about your sexuality is normal and not wrong. Dorian is just very hurt here and haunted by his own demons. Tags: established relationship, coming out, breakup, platonic soulmates, hurt no comfort and reader is new to the dating scene

You have been wrong about many things in your life. There have been many things you had believed to be true, only to find out later they were not. There have been many decisions you made that turned out to be the wrong one. There have been yesses that were nos and rights that were wrongs - such was the way of life. You had learned to take those mistakes into stride. Why dwell on the damage when you could focus on how to fix things? 

It was an admirable mindset. However, it did not help you a bit as you were faced with was quite possibly the biggest mistake of your life. Emotions had never been your forté and then Dorian Pavus appeared in your life, all dashing and demon fighting. You loved his sharp tongue and wit; you loved his sass and his sarcasm. There was nothing to not love as you grew into close friends within a few days. Before you knew it, you spent every possible moment together, reading in the skyhold library, debating any topic that came up or drinking in Skyhold’s tavern with whoever else also happened to be there. It was either those things or fighting side by side against whatever came out of the fade. 

Then he confessed his feelings to you. Had you ever been interested in men? No. Had you ever been with a woman? Also no. ‘Perhaps, this is love,’ you had thought to yourself. “I can no longer imagine living my life without you,” you had told him that day in all truthfulness. It was as good of a confession as anything, but now you wondered if it was love or brotherhood like you had never experienced before. 

Dorian was patient with you, knowing being with a man was new for you. He even offered to shave for your first kiss, but you were pretty sure he was jesting. It had been over a month since that first kiss. It was nothing like you imagined, but you thought you’d get used to kissing a man. You never got used to it. You loved Dorian. You wanted to know him until your last breath. However, you had no desire to kiss him and the looming expectation of eventual sex filled you with dread. 

“You seem troubled,” Dorian observed as you sat across from him in the library. There was a book in your hands, but you had been staring at the same page for several minutes now and there was no hiding the glassy look in your eyes. Dorian took the book from your hands and then took one of your hands in his own. This felt fine, felt right even, but you did not experience butterflies in your stomach or a fluttering heart. 

Dorian took you out to one of the walls surrounding Skyhold. The wind was cold, but the air was warm. “I cannot help but feel I have done something to upset you,” Dorian spoke as he leaned against the wall. Behind him you saw the courtyard, many people walking around like ants. 

“You have not! It is… me, who made a grave mistake.” You could not look at him. You have been putting off this very conversation and Dorian had sensed something was wrong. How could he not? You often felt like you two shared a soul. You could not look at your partner, eyes glued on the mouldy stone under your feet. You did not see Dorian’s eyebrow cock up. 

“Amatus… What did you do?” Dorian made it sound like you cheated on him. As much as you had no romantic feelings for him, your undying loyalty would not have allowed you to even so much as look at anyone else, while your… arrangement of sorts was still in place. 

You took a deep breath and looked up. Dorian’s eyes were crushing your heart, but you felt it was unfair to even think that while you were about to stomp on his. “I…” You played this scene a thousand times over in your head, but now that you were here, you found yourself unable to remember any of the words you prepared. You took another deep breath. When beautifully crafted words were unavailable, there was always the good old ripping the bandage off. “I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I ever was.” You saw Dorian getting ready to say something, but you stopped him with a hand you almost shoved into his face. “Wait, let me finish! I don’t think I will ever be able to be in love with a man, but I do love you. I love you dearly, just not romantically. I still want to be with you until my last moments, just… as friends.” 

Dorian scoffed, throwing his hands up and turning around to look over the courtyard. “Oh please, spare me the salving words. You’re just like those before you. You hear of a man interested in other men and immediately think ‘oh I should try that’!” Dorian pushed himself off the wall and turned around to face you. You felt small under his venomous gaze. “I’m just a pretty test subject. What I feel doesn’t matter, does it? As long as that little itch of curiosity gets scratched. I really thought you were a better man, Ama…” He corrected himself, your name never spoken before with such contempt. “People like you disgust me.” 

You wanted to explain yourself, scream that is was nothing like that, but you couldn’t say a thing; words clogged up your throat. Dorian drew his own conclusions from your silence and turned away, walking back to the library with his head held high. You watched his back. Each step he took separated you further from the piece of your soul he still carried with him. You could not see the thick tears that stained the necromancer’s cheeks. You could not feel how his heart ached, how old wounds started bleeding once more. All you could perceive was the way your chest felt hollow where Dorian was supposed to be your brother in arms until your last breath. You didn’t know how long you stood there, but you decided against going through the library and left the wall via another route. Perhaps one day, you could mend things, but sometimes wounds needed to bleed clean, before one could bandage them up. 

—————

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[grimowled]

i present to you ... grimm's very many and messy thoughts on the latest ep.!

QUEEN VEROSIKA MAYDAY. she unquestionably ruled over this episode, even though it was mostly blitz focused. other than just being effin' fabulous, gorgeous, just slaying and owning every scene she appears in, her growth is just a joy to see - and though it may be shitty to organise a blitzø hate fest, how I see it is that in some way, she is helping people who have been spurned / abandoned / experienced heartbreak by growing them into a community, giving them what they need: a way to hash out their feelings, cry, dance, drink, make out, get together and relate, and move on. like some kind of blitzø anonymous community.

verosika inviting stolas to the party as the latest ex to have his heart broken? how did she know ? did stolas make it public ? I love this little detail. let me know the theories !!

verosika greeting stolas with a smooch and just being so lovely to him, offering him support without prejudice??

I liked that she didn't kick blitz out but gave him a chance to see it all. it showed maturity on her part and a will to find understanding between them.

their little chat - kicked me hard in the feels, especially at the end. for both points of view. closure for vero, and new beginnings for blitz, a path to romantic redemption and introspection. I am so happy for verosika, getting the apology and the feelings catharsis she deserved, whilst helping others cope.

the 80s retro synth vibes?? the purple hues? the VIBESSSS

the tunes in this one !! fantastic lyrics and great interpretation from the voice actors.

the cameos and background characters!! the designs just rocked. I want and need to see more of them, like a spin-off series for each and every one of them. if you make rp accounts, please send them my way I will adore them.

that sexy imp dancing and making out with stolas. unf

look at the variety of smokin' hot ppl blitz's been with, even pulling celebs like vero and royalty like stolas. the sheer gorgeousness in one room ... he may be an incorrigible heartrob but this is just a testament to the charming and handsome KING he is.

blitz's stages of his breakup grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) his feelings ... lil jealous fit at the end as he watches stolas enjoy himself with another guy, then the resignation ... just everything blitz this ep killed me. I love him so much, I want him to heal and be happy but also I love that he's a mess and a disaster. I am a slut for toxic ships

stolitz - blitz seeking stolas out was pleasantly unexpected for me. starting the ep off with him still trying to pursue stolas despite having obtained a legal way to travel to earth without his grimoire and being thrown out--telling him he needs to EARN it -a blatant excuse to keep seeing him, not accepting stolas is the one to break it off. it broke my heart.

STOLAS. his arc, his growth, him continuously serving cunt in that posh lil robe and being tall and leggy and just royally stunning.

his tiny slutty waist.

THE SONG!! he owned it. I love that he is a songbird and the performance was so emotional it messed me up good.

stolas being a cute messy af drunk.

stolas being SUMMONED-- YES my canons, my heart. needless to say, MY stolas portrayal greatly enjoys those summoning parties but he does like cake with his sacrifices lmao.

more to come ...

[lihikainanea]

I know you have had a little writers block and not much time to write but in case this can inspire more tiger and Bill hear goes. So Bill is working on a movie that is a mess. He took the job because because he really loved the director, but lets so with rewrites and other politics that director quit. Bill was still in a contracted he could not easily get out out and he did not want to quit something he had already put work into.

Filming finally started back up with a new script and he was doing his best to make his character believable. But his neppo-baby co-star was not helping. Of course he was also considered a neppo-baby by the US press but he did not think he was not a brat like this woman. She wanted to change things in the script. She wanted special foods and no one could talk to her unless she was officially on set. He could not even get her to go over lines or how he could respectfully touch her during scenes since they were playing a couple.

He of course talked though things with Tiger as much as he thought he could but this was a very tough shoot. He would come home late and only get about 6 hours before having to be back on set.

His mind is wheeling one night when he has to do a love scene with this awful girl the next day. Tiger calms him enough for him to fall asleep. His brain has other ideas to fix the thoughts he has about the next day. He dreams of actually having an affair with awful girl. And the sex is just....he wakes in cold sweat. He was moaning in his sleep and he can not even look at Tiger. And boy does he not want to go to work that day either.

Ohhhhh I like this.

Look, I mean, with how many films actors do--every once in awhile, they must work with fellow castmates that they just hate. Abhor. Their hatred is so thinly veiled that it's incredibly palpable to the crew onset, but thankfully things rarely ever make it to the press because of NDAs and big ass scary lawyers and the like. But every once in awhile--we, the ever little-seeing public--we get wind of it. Think Don't Worry Darling. The drama surrounding that production, for the so many reasons it seems to entail, was just--unf, chef kiss to those of us that still love the thrill of a little celebrity drama.

And I'm sure Bill, in all of his perfectionist nature, was also hated on a few sets. His perfectionist nature. His insistence on trying the scene 100 different ways, for 100 different takes, until he was satisfied. Not everyone performs to that calibre nor do they hold themselves accountable to such lofty expectations as that big swedish talking tree, but that's just who he is. That's how he works.

But y'know, I'd even venture to say that it's quite rare that Bill actually likes his castmates and fellows actors he works with. That's not to say that he hates their guts--not at all. But rather he's just pretty...ambivalent about the whole thing. Neutral. He's the Switzerland of film sets. He's a pretty private person in general, a pretty guarded individual, and for him this is a job. Onscreen chemistry is far more important than actual chemistry in this line of work, and he's able to separate the two. He can have great onscreen chemistry with someone that he's not super friendly with, and he doesn't feel any inclination to add the to the inner workings of his closest social circle. Beers after a long day on set is one thing, the occasional celebratory dinner, gifts for the make up and costume crew. Getting to know everyone on a first name basis. But beyond that, Bill is more than happy to go back to his trailer between takes, or go back to his apartment at the end of the day, and cook dinner with tiger or have drinks with some of his friends who flew out to spend a few days with him.

And on that note, he's probably had to work with a lot of actors that he really doesn't like. People who either take themselves way too seriously (Bill thinks method acting is the most ridiculous fucking thing anyone could ever do), or the opposite--people who don't take this seriously at all. And if you call Bill a nepo baby to his face you'll likely be tackled violently from stage left by tiger--but it's also why he's ultra sensitive about those nepo baby actors who don't have any talent, and don't even have the work ethic to build it up.

It's still like pulling teeth to get Bill to admit that his laast name opened up a few doors for him, but he'll also be the first to admit that his initial acting jobs weren't....uh, they weren't great. But he worked at it, he honed his craft, he worked his ass off, and now nobody can say the opportunities he's gotten have been handed to him.

But y'know, the thought of nepotism--well, it doesn't really bother some people.

And maybe on a recent film set, Bill is living in his version of hell. His love interest in the film is a girl in her young to mid-twenties, the type who grew up with two famous parents and all of a sudden decided she wanted to act--so roles were handed to her. Bill's not quite sure how she even got the job given how their chemistry read went, with Bill nearly glaring daggers at her the whole time. She's just the type of person he can't stand. She's loud about everything. She comes with an entourage to everything. It's always over the top, all the time. She never learns her lines. She doesn't give him anything to work with in a scene, reciting her lines like a robot and not leaving anything to improv, natural reactions. She needs a million takes for one scene--not because she's a perfectionist--but because she forgot her lines, or didn't listen to the notes the director gave her. Bill is pretty convinced this entire film could have shot in half the time if she'd just be a little bit of a fucking professional about it.

The whole thing irks him at first, then just pisses him right the hell off shortly after. She's late for the call time, when the other actors are sitting in the transport car well before the ass crack of dawn waiting for her to come out her house. She comes into the makeup trailer blasting her music and yelling along with her entourage, while Bill is reviewing his scene changes and trying to get his head into his character for the day--they knock over his coffee, get in everyone's way, and just never shut the fuck up. Her friends--and her--are all filming all the time, and Bill spends most of his time between takes trying to dodge ending up on someone's instagram or tiktok.

But y'know, it's just so pitifully ironic that the only scene this girl is keen to rehearse--a little too keen, actually--are any of the kissing scenes, or the sex scenes. And with one scheduled in just a few days time, this little nepo baby has been all over Bill trying to find proper times--evenings, of course, with a little wine to loosen up--for them to uh, practice. Bill's gag reflex has been barely contained.

And like, tiger bears the brunt of his rants at the end of every filming day. Whether it's 2AM or 2AM or anywhere in between, he always FaceTimes her when he wraps the day and tiger always thinks that vein in his neck is real damn close to bursting.

"She just...she doesn't get it tiger," he rants, pausing to take a drag of his cigarette, "This is a fucking joke to her. This is my job, my profession, and it's a fucking joke to her."

"Has anyone told her?" she asks, "Maybe she needs to be called out on it."

"Her dad's studio is partially funding this one," Bill exhales, the camera shaking as he continues to walk.

"You're fucked then," tiger smiles sadly. Bill just makes a frustrated noise before continuing to rant for the next hour.

And like, maybe tiger goes to visit him on set right? And she's not it before, the whole rehearsing an upcoming steamy scene with him--but wait wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here.

So, tiger visits him on set and sees firsthand what a fucking nightmare this girl is. Tiger spends most of her time in his trailer but somehow, she still has to dodge what feels like a million cameras all linked to a hundred different kinds of social media, all from her entourage. They ain't shy about questions that are none of their damn business either--shit like who she is, how she knows Bill, what she's doing there.

"I'm his bodyguard," she cracks, except tiger is kind of scary when she's pissed off and she's not really blinking so suddenly the gaggle of girls don't really know what to think.

In any case, tiger can definitely see why Bill has been so pissed off lately. Everything is a joke to this girl, she doesn't take anything seriously, and suddenly she's just real excited about the scenes coming up in a few days.

"We should practice tonight!" she says gleefully, as both her and Bill are sitting in the makeup trailer getting all un-done after the day. Tiger quirks a brow from the back of the room where she's playing with one of the other actor's dogs.

"No thanks," Bill says immediately.

"You can come by, I'll get some wine, we can loosen up."

"No," he says again.

"We need to rehearse," she continues, "We need to practice."

"I've had enough practice."

And thankfully one of the make up artists--tiger makes a note to give her a big hug after--one of the make up artists sees every single hair on Bill's neck stand up.

"Bill, sorry--can you stop talking? It's getting the make up caught in the creases and making it hard to remove," she says kindly. Bill gives her a wide smile.

"Sure, sorry," he says softly.

And that's the end of that.

But like, look. It's plain as day. Bill is chainsmoking. He didn't sleep that night, he just rants and rants at how repulsed he is, and how much he's dreading the next 1.5 weeks worth of scenes. Tiger does her best to distract him--keeps his whisky glass full, hell she even gets him in the sauna and sucks his soul out from his dick just to try and get his mind off it. But the sun rises the next morning as much as we sometimes wish it wouldn't, and Bill has to go to work.

I'll be waiting for you in your trailer bud," tiger says reassuringly, "Remember, you can take as many breaks as you need."

But y'know, here's the thing. Bill is getting through it, because he's a goddamned professional. Is he having fun? No. Does he hate every second of it? Yes. But it's not that. It doesn't take him long to figure out that this girl...she's purposely fucking up the scenes, just so they have to do them again. And again. And again. The scene where he has to push her up again a wall, rip her shirt open, and kiss the hell out of her? Somehow, that scene took the entire day to shoot. 57 takes.

The actual sex scene, him on top of her, both of them wearing nothing but tiny little pasties? Somehow, that took two entire days to shoot. More than 100 takes.

On any set that Bill has been on, things like that could usually be shot in anywhere from 4-6 takes--maybe half a day, depending on lighting and equipment needs.

Bill was livid. He drew the line initially and demanded a closed set, after she brought her entire entourage to watch that day. It took a lot of negotiating, but Bill wasn't budging on it.

And every single day that Bill went to set and have to film that, when he'd get home--man, he took it out on tiger. The poor girl was ravaged. Bill just needed her, needed to completely wreck her, just to get the taste and feel and everything of that other pain in the ass as far away from him as possible.

But y'know, Bill's mind is a cruel place.

And maybe its triggered by something small. He has a long day on set so tiger goes shopping, and when he comes back to his rented apartment she has some stuff strewn everywhere and Bill spots a shirt on the bed. His blood boils.

"What the fuck is this?" he marches over to it, holding it up.

"It's....my new shirt?" tiger says cautiously, "I thought it was cute."

"Get rid of it tiger," he snaps. He grabs his lighter from his pocket, flicking it open and holding it to the shirt.

"Okay whoa," tiger jumps, grabbing the shirt from him, "Easy bud. What's going on."

"She has this shirt," he seethes, "I don't ever want to see it on you."

"Ah," tiger says, "Right. You won't see it again bud."

"Promise?" he puts the lighter away.

"Promise.

But it's enough to just...kickstart some part of Bill's brain that should have stayed dormant. And that night, he drifts off to sleep with tiger in his arms and his thumb in her mouth--except he dreams of her. And it's ~spicy~. A stupid ass, unreasonable sex dream that felt really good. Amazing sex, actually, and from the noises he was making tiger wasn't sure if he was in pain or having the time of his life but the piece of plywood digging in to her back gave her a small inclination.

That is, until he woke up and all but shoved her away with enough force that she almost went tumbling off the bed.

"Bill!" she shrieked, but he was already scratching at his skin and lightly smacking his own face.

"No no no no no," he muttered, "No no no god fuck no."

"Bud?"

His eyes snap to hers and they're wild, pupils huge, his hair sticking up all over the place and his chest heaving.

"You," he says, out of breath, "Here. Now."

"What--"

"Now."

And tiger doesn't have time to do anything before two long arms wrap around her waist and haul her up with force, slamming her into his chest.

"Fuck me," he growls into her neck.

"What?" tiger's still trying to get her wits about her because a second ago she was asleep and comfy and now this wild ass enraged beast has his hands all over her and she can't quite keep up.

A hard spank lands on her ass and she squeals a little, but then he has his fist balled in her hair and his teeth biting at her neck.

"Fuck me," he growls again, "Fuck me into next fucking week."

"Bill, what the hell is going--"

But then suddenly she's in the air, and then she's pinned under his body as he looms--big and scary and totally wild--above her.

"Tiger, I just had a dream about her," he snaps, "And now you need to get it the fuck out of my head so that I never have to see it again. So I'm only going to ask you one more time."

He yanks her head back, licking up her neck before biting down hard on her earlobe. His other hand cups her harshly through her panties and she gasps.

"Fuck me," he growls.

Tiger is all too happy to oblige.

[brineffxiv]

It is time.

My friends impart their memories to the spirit vessels, and Angelo the porxie does his thing.

Angelo would make a cute plushie. They should sell those, they'd make bank.

Now it's up to me to take my friends safely back home.

Here we go...

Now we just hope this works. And that we put the right vessel next to the right person.

I think it's working!!

Welcome home, my friends! It's been quite some time for several of you. If I remember correctly, Thancred spent 5 years on the First, while Urianger and Y'shtola each spent 3.

Oh? Oh! I can go wake up G'raha!

Hehe, look at me run. Off to get my man.

I run all the way there, until suddenly the orange constellation crystal comes flying out of nowhere and lands next to me. Which is odd, because I didn't realize I no longer had it with me. Little confused, but glad to have it back?

Scene change! Several days later, Alphinaud is having tea while Alisaie motions exasperatedly (and hilariously) at our other friends...

Who thanks to Tataru (and Feo Ul), with a bit of assistance from our friends the various heads-of-state, have their preferred outfits back!

I love you Urianger.

This entire scene is perfection. It must be appreciated in motion, however, and I do not know how to gif.

It's him! My boy! I love him. Look at his little hair clips, he's so cute!

*ahem*

G'raha has secured the Crystal Tower, and with that done he's free to join the Scions! And come adventuring with me!

Off we go!

.

.

.

Meanwhile, Zenos and his Ascian buddy have retaken the Garlean palace. For reasons as yet unclear.

Yeah, seeing that every night might be one of the reasons you're so fucked up. One reason among many.

Not!Asahi is performing his ass off, and Zenos is completely unaffected. It's funny.

My read on this is that Not! Asahi desperately wants something, and that something can only be got with Zenos' cooperation. So this guy is acting the simpering servant to his lord, but like, Zenos is so detached from anything approaching "normal" that it's like acting against a wall. LOL.

Hey, tangent, is Zenos the Emperor now? Not!Asahi calls him "your radiance", but that might have been meant in mockery, it's hard to tell.

lol, I already knew he was using Asahi's body from his voice, but the confirmation is good. Ah, poor Asahi, that his idol doesn't even remember his name.

Figured you were an Ascian, I--

I'm sorry. What is your name??

Fandaniel??

*wheeze*

Ah hahahaha!

Fucking... Daniel???

We got an array of nigh-unpronounceable names - Lahabrea, Igyorhim, Nabriales - and then... DANIEL. Okay, okay, Fandaniel.

I'm sorry *wheeze* I'm okay... I'll stop laughing now.

hehehehehe

It just. Undercuts your seriousness... just a little bit.

Oh. Oh dear. I have a feeling it's not a good thing that he realizes he's no longer got a boss.

And somehow I doubt your version of "living for the moment" involves harmless acts of spontaneity. Like getting a burger or spending a day at the beach.

Oh, my friend, I have missed you too.

UNF. He's so hot when he's evil.

[takami-takami]

THANK U FOR THE TAG MWAH MWAH Was tagged by @aquadenks to rec some of my own fics so! Some author's notes too, spoiling the subtext lol but giving some behind the scenes info! I'm just gonna pick my favorites, not so much the ones I'd recommend.

For recomendations: Stray Dogs Will Crawl Home for sfw; How to Fix The Ache or Can't Help Myself for nsfw

My faves:

Nightmares. | angst, hurt/comfort

I wrote this to cope with the GRAGGGHH feeling after watching the Lady Nagant episode. Like I wrote this late as hell at night too in order to be normal. I like the way I wrote the panic, it was fun to try and tweak it to be more in character and make the body language and dialogue believable. I find his theme of corruption and being used by the hpsc and feeling shackled to be very interesting to explore. I had to write the boy being comforted for his past or I'd die.

I Think I Love You. | fluff

The cutest fic I ever wrote. Pure good feelings. I genuinely love this one, I think it's adorable and head-over-heels!Keigo is my weak spot. I giggled so hard to myself when I wrote about the platonic kiss to ground himself. He's so cute. Fuzzy feelings. Happy happy happy.

Happy Birthday. | angst

Pure angst. PURE angst.

I had this in my notes for a long while, actually, and had the idea in my head for longer. It's a catharsis piece, very personal. Whenever I would have a moment related to a Thing, I'd pull out my notes app and work on this and just vomit my feelings onto the page. I still remember stopping in the middle of grabbing groceries and pulling out my phone to type the "what did you make me do" part as soon as I thought of it. Typing outside on my phone like a madman. Very therapeutic. Even though it's my least popular fic (probably because of the subject matter and lack of x reader) it means a tremendous deal to me.

How To Fix The Ache. | smut

The smut fic of the bunch— HEAR ME OUT, this is one of my favorite smut fics so I picked it as a representative (My other favs are Crybaby, Accidents, and Sweet, Sweet Indulgence. Not including the mini drabbles. I can answer which of those I like if anyone's curious!). So I'm putting it here. KEIGO YANKING IT MY BELOVED!! I like the pacing here, the tension building, the payoff at the end where he mcLoses it. Sexually frustrated virgin mess Keigo :(((((.

A Dog Unfed. | angst, hurt/comfort

This is my most recent fic but also another favorite of mine! Literally helped me so bad to write this. Do not know where I would be if I didn't write it. I feel like, I honestly didn't want to turn this into a fanfic at first. It was just supposed to be a thing for only me to see about how I'm feeling because the feeling was overwhelming; but I wanted to share it, so I turned it into a thing with Hawks (which also helped a ton)! I think you can tell, at least in the beginning part. I break the fourth wall at the end a little which I thought was cool but definitely was worried about doing. I let go of a lot of inhibitions and a desire to Appeal to Others when writing this one. Like I told myself when I was writing over and over, "all my writings are mine but this one is Mine." Very special place in my heart. <3

But my FAVORITE fic is still being written. Idk when it will be finished though, it's a big one— I don't like posting chapter by chapter, so I'm just gonna finish all the chapters first and then slam it onto the table hopefully.

Tagging ANYONE steal this. :3