#unemployed relief
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"UKRAINIAN AGITATOR WILL BE DEPORTED," Toronto Globe. August 3, 1933. Page 9. ---- Refused to Accept Work at Government Construction Camps --- (Special Despatch to The Globe.) Oshawa, Aug. 2. - As a result of his activities as an agitator several months ago, when, together with other single unemployed men, at that time living at the hostel, he refused to accept work at Government construction camps at the rate of 20 cents per day, Nick Sawchuk, 30-year-old Ukrainian resident of Oshawa, was picked up by immigration officials from Ottawa today, was taken to Montreal, where he will be deported to Poland. The deportation of Sawchuk has been bitterly opposed by foreign unemployed organizations in the city, who claim Sawchuk will face a firing squad when he lands in Poland. Sawchuk has been in this country less than five years.
#oshawa#agitator#working class struggle#unemployed relief#single unemployed men#unemployed protest#ukrainian canadians#ukrainian immigration to canada#deportation from canada#threats of deportation#shoveling out the unwanted#suppression of dissidents#great depression in canada
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Behold the sacred balm with which I heal my creature
(He does not like the sacred balm. Such is the price we pay for the sacred balm.)
#we also pay money#and by we i mean me#he is unemployed#i used to smear this all over myself because i had terrible eczema as a kid and I hated it#so i understand my babys suffering#but i also know the immense relief it brinfs#sacred balm#bunny#bella#bunblr#senior rabbit
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for further repostober (🎃) here’s the first lino i ever listed in my shop! i did this way back in december 2020 because to be honest i needed a christmas gift for my mom. lol. this is a newer picture of a reprint but the first set was definitely a learning experience!! i’ve still got lots of misprints of this lying around hahahaha
#actually was thinking the other day i should do misprint grab bags#i should probably set that up. get rid of some of this stuff#linocut#printmaking#relief print#block print#block printing#artists on tumblr#lino#dandelion#art tag#shop tag#repostober#i did more detailed stuff back then bc i was still unemployed!! and i didn’t have print every month deadlines like i do now. lol#i wish i could spend more time on prints :’)
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LMFAO I TOOK MY MUM'S FUCKIN' JOB
#one of her old work friends just called like 'I'm so glad I caught you#I really wanted to be the one who told you!'#honestly i also like the implication that there was a pseudo-race between josie and rachel and kate about who got to tell me first lol#they're all so sweet#i am gonna gossip so hard with my mum's old work friends you don't even know#now it's time to be terrified~~~#but also this is the greatest relief#i feel like i can be a human being again#i've been unemployed so long that i may have felt a bit defective#but even my 'starting work at new job' anxiety is greatly appeased knowing that i know half my co-workers already#and if i need clarification i know they're lovely and i can always ask my mum because she worked there FOREVER#i will brace myself for all the 'Oh you're LIZZY'S daughter!'s that i know i'm gonna get#but AH i'm so relieved#and it's only part time#4 days a week so i can REALLY get back into the swing of working again#I GOT A JOB#nah fuck fear this is just RELIEF#feathers speaks#psa for anyone not up on this tho: my mother retired and I took her job AFTER it went up again#i didn't literally steal my mum's job lol
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Hello there! I happened to find your website and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing how you made it? It looks really neat and I wanted to learn how it was coded and hosted.
hi, thank you so much!! i've been making websites uh. pretty much since i learned how to use the internet, whether for fun or employment or both. i make my "for fun" websites from scratch with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript without any libraries or frameworks. unfortunately, i can't give a great recommendation for web hosting on the cheap if you're just starting out as i've hosted my stuff with the same company since my freelancing days and could definitely get a way better deal elsewhere lmao. the cost of being lazy...
i really, really like talking about web design/making websites/etc. so i don't want to give you an information overload, but if you're interested in learning how to make websites, there are a lot of excellent (and free!) tutorials and reference guides out there to get you started! here are a few:
MDN Web Docs - THE resource for anyone doing web design and development, from complete beginners to advanced devs. their documentation is thorough to the point where it can be intimidating for beginners due to how technical it is, but it's very, very good and their tutorials are fantastic.
W3Schools - similar to MDN, but i find it's much less jargon-heavy and beginner-friendly. it also contains great resources, examples, reference guides, as well as extensive tutorials.
Codecademy - there are a lot of free web and programming courses out there, but i really like the ones codecademy offers. in my experience, the projects are fun, the courses are well-structured, and the community is very helpful. they regularly have great sales for the pro version, too.
if you want to make your own website site from scratch without having to navigate the more complex aspects of hosting, domains, etc., check out Neocities! it's got loads of resources, a great community, and it's free!! it's also near and dear to my heart as a lover of "old web" design sensibilities.
by far the easiest way to start is to download a text editor (i'm partial to Sublime Text, but everyone has their favorite), paste in an HTML boilerplate like this one, save it to your device as a .HTML file and then open it in your web browser. it will only be accessible on your local device and not over the internet, but you can play around and build things out without it being public and it’s an easy way to get a feeling for how things work.
my final recommendation is not so much about the specifics of making a website, but how to think about making a website. when i was a young stergeon at my first big web design job, my mentor gave me the book Don't Make Me Think! by steve krug and it was Huge for me. some of the technology-specific material is outdated nowadays as it was last updated in 2014, but the book is still a fantastic introduction to design thinking, visual language, and user experience principles.
hope this helps!!!! happy to chat more if you have questions <3
#sterge.eml#hope this makes sense lol. i got a lil excited even though i tried Very Hard not to.#i love internet :0) :0) i love website :0) :0) :0)#i was a web designer professionally for years and will almost certainly be one again whenever i stop being Extremely Unemployed#BOY was it a relief when i finally stopped giving a shit about making all my personal websites look Good and Perfect#and just started having fun doing goofy stuff with css#i like leaning into web 1.0 design features and the charmingly-crude 'early internet' vibe of things#and as it turns out websites load really fast when they're not bloated with a bunch of big JS libraries and things. interesting huh.#just don't look too closely at any of my javascript lol i am not a good programmer#i live for the brute force approach. if it works it works#my dream is for everyone to make a website#it’s fun and the world is more beautiful for it
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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AI finally came for my job so guess who got laid oooooooooooff
even though i have LOADS of experience copy-editing so I'd be a perfect fit even in the neutered version of my job, unfortunately the unofficial COO (the ceo's fucking girlfriend) is on a power trip, and as she's a former floridian fundie i think she took umbrage to the fact i was working while openly queer and trans so off i went
maybe i can focus on writing again :/
#snarky speaks#you know the job was bad tho because while being unemployed sucks i just felt relief when the news came#ugh#i stuck with it for so long because i honestly believed in what the company did#unfortunately it's run by a moron that would rather someone else run it to the ground while he passively generates income#he's already gotten in trouble once for his mom being on the board and for his girlfriend being COO#but i knew when she didn't leave the work slack it was only a matter of time before she reared her head again
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just put in my two weeks... feels very weird
#at first i wasnt sure i could do it#now all i feel is relief#this is an extremely rough patch for me & my family can tell. they told me they wouldnt be mad if i left and took a break#as in ill be unemployed for a bit#but i think its what needs to happen. i am so tired in so many ways#this is one of the first days in a long time where i woke up and i literally almost didnt get out of bed. no energy physical or otherwise#i got up but its a fight today#connor.mp3#stomach has been terrible too. chronic pain sucks#no spoons today
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I want a job so I can go back to living, instead of walking around my house not having anything to do or having to turn out days out with friends because the lack of funds.
#being unemployed after dropping student teaching was a relief in the beginning#but now after two months i am getting nowhere with retail applications#liberty's weird and wonderful text posts
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HELLO..
My name is Jameela Al-Dahdouh from Gaza. I am 70 years old, and I live with my elderly husband, Jamal, who is 76 and unemployed. We are trapped between the walls of fear, despair, and deep sadness due to the ongoing war in Gaza. I am in desperate need of help from every person with a live conscience and a compassionate heart who understands the true meaning of humanity.
I am suffering from cancer, high blood pressure, and diabetes. I have undergone surgeries to remove the affected organs. As a result of the disease, my body has swollen and become severely inflamed. Due to the war in Gaza, I have been unable to continue my required treatment and undergo the necessary surgeries.
I am actively seeking to travel abroad to undergo the necessary surgeries and complete the required doses of treatment.
I dream of receiving the medical care needed to continue living a dignified life with my husband, where we can feel safe and stable. Please help me achieve this dream through your kind donations, which will undoubtedly have a tremendous impact in saving my life.
The funds raised will be used for:
• Food and water, ensuring access to daily necessities.
• Traveling to receive the necessary medical services and undergo the required surgeries as prescribed by specialist doctors.
• Medical treatments, ensuring the provision of essential healthcare supplies and required medications.
A Message from Jameela and Her Husband
"I have always believed in the kindness of others and the strength of community. This situation is something I never imagined, but I know that with your kind help, we can find hope and stability again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any support you can provide."
Every Contribution Matters
No donation is too small; every contribution brings us one step closer to relief and a better future. Even if you are unable to contribute financially, sharing this campaign with your network can make a significant difference.
Gratitude and Appreciation
Thank you for taking the time to read our story and for your generous kindness. You can help us overcome these difficult times.
#free palestine#save palestine#palestinian genocide#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#pray for palestine#free gaza#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#gaza strip#queer community
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Hello.,
My name is Asma Al-Dahdouh from Gaza. We are trapped between walls of fear, despair, and deep sorrow amidst the ongoing war in the Gaza Strip. I appeal to every person with a living conscience, a compassionate heart, and an understanding of humanity to help us.
Help me overcome adversity
I reach out to you today, resilient and compassionate, facing unimaginable challenges. Life in our area has become increasingly difficult due to the ongoing and escalating conflict. I struggle to secure the basic necessities for our family.
Who is Asma and her family?
I am married to Ashraf Jibreel, who is 39 years old. I am 34 and suffer from chronic illnesses, including thyroid disease and rheumatoid arthritis, requiring lifelong medication. We have four children: the oldest is Oday, 14, who suffers from a chronic illness like mine; Muhammad, 12; Amal, 9, who has celiac disease and cannot eat regular foods, requiring a special diet that suits her health condition; and Hussam, who is 4 years old.
How has war made our lives hell?
We all feel fear, deep sadness, and insecurity from the relentless bombardment and destruction since the war on Gaza began. My young children cannot sleep normally due to fear and nightmares. My family and I do not have a safe place to live; we rent our home, which has been shelled.
We have fled multiple times due to repeated threats and demands to evacuate. My husband used to work as a taxi driver, but his taxi was destroyed in the war, leaving him unemployed. My son Muhammad, my daughter Amal, and I contracted advanced hepatitis, increasing our suffering.
Due to a lack of good food, clean water, and necessary medication, our condition has worsened. Our lives are threatened either by bombardment and shrapnel or by malnutrition, the spread of epidemics and diseases, psychological insecurity, rampant unemployment, lack of fuel, cooking gas, electricity, and my husband losing his job.
Despite the harsh conditions and ongoing uncertainties, I remain hopeful and determined to provide a better future for my husband and children. My spirit is unbreakable, but we need help from those with living consciences and compassionate hearts to overcome the obstacles we face.
How can you help me?
My family and I aspire to build a better future for our children, ensuring their safety and allowing us all to live a dignified life, feeling secure and stable, and living in peace. Help us achieve this dream through your generous donations, which will undoubtedly have a significant impact on saving us. The funds raised will be used for:
Renovating our destroyed home and purchasing furniture and appliances necessary for daily life.
Food and water, ensuring we have daily essentials and medical supplies and healthcare.
Education, supporting my children's education by covering tuition, school supplies, and necessary needs.
Every contribution matters
No donation is too small; every contribution brings us one step closer to relief and a better future. Even if you cannot contribute financially, sharing this campaign with your generous network can make a significant difference.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Asma Al-Dahdouh North Gaza City.
#free palestine#palestinian genocide#save palestine#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#pray for palestine#gazaunderattack#free gaza#gaza genocide#gaza strip#gaza#all eyes on rafah#queer community
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"Eleven Children Face Hardships Waiting For Daddy's Pay Day," Border Cities Star. April 18, 1934. Page 5. --- "WHEN do we eat?" is going to be an important question in the lives of this group of children for the next two weeks. Their daddy, Stanley Pare, has been on relief in Anderdon Township, but now has a job in the Border Cities. The catch in it is that it will be May 2 before he draws his first pay. The mother of the flock, Florence Pare, claims she has been forced to feed the children cow fodder. Those shown in the picture, left to right, are: Lucien, 15; Evangeline, 13, holding four- months-old Baby Mary Jane; Albert, 11; Norman, 10; Arthur, 9; Cecile, 8; Lucille, 7; Beatrice, 5; Irene, 4, and Mary Rose, 3.
#windsor#unemployed relief#relief work#relief recipient#rural poverty#rural canada#unemployed#poverty in canada#great depression in canada
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Nanny | jjk (m)
✦ summary: you take a babysitting job for the wealthy Jeon family, one night you get to see Mr. Jeon in the kitchen, finding him much more attractive in person than in photos. Despite his seemingly disinterest in you, he comes to you one night, summoning you to his studio.
✦rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
✦ pairing: dilf!Jungkook + f!reader
✦ warnings: married!jungkook, dad!jungkook, he is a father of two, older!jungkook, power imbalance relationship, he is your boss’s husband, mistress!reader, cheater!jungkook, swearing, kissing, boob play, finger licking, slight choking, fingering, degradation, penetrative s3x, no mentions of contraceptive use, he cums inside.
✦word count: 3.5K
✦a/n: this is written in first person, oopsie. hope you enjoy.
The clock indicates 9PM as I tiptoed out of the children's room, my steps light and cautious, mindful not to wake the little ones. I was the Jeon’s trusted babysitter.
My sister worked as Mrs. Jeon personal trainer. The woman would spend her whole day at the country club, pilates in the morning, then tennis and swimming lessons at the afternoon. She spent zero time with the kids, she is finally home after 7pm, but it was almost like she warded off her kids, I’m convinced she hates interacting with them, at nights she went to her room or to the patio to have dinner while FaceTiming an unknown man, that was my second hint that she could be cheating on Mr. Jeon, actually at that point I was pretty convinced. She went out with her friends during the weekend nights, going on clubs, bars or some girls night, she always had a plan, some days she wouldn’t come back until Monday morning, with her hair tangled and unkempt, pumps off and a dry colorless face.
She had fired the previous babysitter after she found out she was stealing some of the kids clothing and selling them online, she was an old lady who pretended to be a retired and experienced children psychologist, Mrs. Jeon never cared enough to read her resume, turns out she wasn’t, and it only took the effort of googling her name to find news about her other scams on rich families pretending to be a kind babysitter, and not only she was stealing the kids’ clothes, also Mrs. Jeon’s jewels.
Shortly after she hired a young kindergarten teacher, only lasted a week. Mrs. Jeon thought she was too flirty when she greeted her husband, truth is she never saw them interact, it might be the fact that the girl had a rising onlyfans page that Mrs. Jeon found about because the gardener had recognized her, and also because she was an impolite vegan, the girl demanded rudely to the chef to make her a special vegan meal, so Mrs. Jeon told her to not come back the next day.
Once the door clicked softly shut behind me, I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Babysitting could be exhausting, but I cherished these moments of tranquility after the children had drifted off to dreamland. I made my way to the cozy living room, settled onto the plush sofa, eager to enjoy a few moments of relaxation.
My sister received a call for help from Mrs. Jeon. Desperate because if she didn’t find a new babysitter before the kids finished their school day she had to stay with them for the rest of the day. My sister said she sounded as if someone had died, in complete panic. I got my sister’s call for help, she wanted to be in her boss’ good side and also to get my ass out of the couch once and for all.
I had just graduated, and conveniently unemployed. I had tried my luck in a big city, completely failed and had to return home. Had been rotting in my family home for almost a month until my sister told me she had a job opportunity for me.
- Just focus on taking care of the kids, don’t engage with the male employees on the house, she will think you are fucking them, she hates sharing her men. And if you get to see Mr. Jeon when he arrives early from work just say good night without making eye contact, no more exchange, understood?
In fact, I had never seen Mr. Jeon in person. There were huge family pictures all around the house walls, and small frames on the shelves that portrayed his beautiful face.
Mr. Jeon is a handsome man, with youthful features and athletic physique. From chatting with the maids I learned that he goes jogging at 6 AM, to the gym at 7, has breakfast at 8, then heads to work until 9 to 10 at night when he arrives home, takes a shower and goes to bed.
As weeks went by, my love for the kids grew, just as much as my curiosity for their gorgeous father.
The couple didn’t share a room, in fact, apparently they hated each other. They were a happy pair until she was “forced” to bare his children. Both families had agreed to unite in all aspects including business, but the warranty was to have at least one male that would take over everything one day. They did, the youngest of the two children was a beautiful and healthy boy, but Mrs. Jeon was left traumatized and deformed after the pregnancies, which caused the fall of their successful marriage.
Linda, their oldest maid said that it all started even before they got married, because both were compulsive cheaters that enjoyed to have interaction with people bellow their status, such as maids, trainers, secretaries, drivers, bodyguards, etc.
As I reached for a book from the nearby shelf, I heard a faint rustling sound coming from the kitchen. I paused, my heart skipping a beat. Perhaps it was just the house settling.
This weekend I had been tasked to stay over and take care of the kids while Mrs. Jeon was on a girls trip to Indonesia, she’s coming back on Monday.
I’d say Mrs. Jeon trusted me, I was her beloved personal trainer’s sister and I’ve been doing a good job taking care of the kids, acted as if the chef, the gardener, the drivers and the new pastry cook didn’t exist. She was happy with my work.
Her instructions were to just normally complete my Friday - Saturday routine with the kids, but to stay over to keep an eye on them at night, she didn’t trust the maids, one time she had a nightmare in which they all grabbed forks to kill them and fed her a broth made with their bones, ever since she’s been paranoid, she says they hate her so much she believes they are capable of doing it.
It was Friday night, the kids already asleep, I would usually go home after this, but I had to sleep on one of the guest rooms to check on the kids, and Saturday morning prepare them for their swimming lesson and entertain them for the rest of the day.
But then I heard it again, unmistakably—a soft shuffling, like footsteps moving across the tiled floor. My breath caught in my throat as I debated whether to investigate or retreat to the safety of the children's room. The staff had already ended their activities, they were all supposed to be in their chambers.
Summoning courage, I rose from the sofa and tiptoed towards the kitchen, my pulse quickening with each step. The dim light from the living room cast eerie shadows against the walls, adding to the sense of uneasiness that gripped me.
Peering cautiously around the corner, My eyes widened in astonishment. Standing in the center of the kitchen was a figure—Mr. Jeon, very alive and kicking.
He was so much more handsome in person, an unreal beauty. Blazer and tie off, sleeves up his elbows revealed his tattoos, they covered his whole right arm and hand, first three buttons undone letting me see part of his chest, he was bulked. A piercing adorning his lower lip, another on his right eyebrow, a couple more on his ears.
I had heard he did that to his body after he found out guys with piercings and tattoos gave Mrs. Jeon the ick. Apparently he really wanted her away from him.
- Who are you? He asked confused, looked like he already had a few drinks, was peering at the fridge looking for a beer.
- The babysitter.
- What happened to Ms. Barlowe? he asked while opening the beer can and pouring it in a glass.
- She was fired two months ago. I tried to respond as concisely as possible, but this man was making me feel things that would put this job on risk. He liked getting inside the staff’s panties? Then he could take me right here.
- What’s your name? How old are you?
- y/n, hadn’t you heard it’s impolite to ask a woman’s age. I’m old enough.
- Old enough? For what? He chuckled.
- To be your children’s babysitter. I said jokingly, nothing matters anymore, this man has me on my knees acting all flirty.
- Once we had a 16 year old. He said looking at me, taking a sip of his beer.
- Not that young, more like old enough to buy alcohol all that stuff. I said while looking down at my feet, shyness taking over me all of a sudden, I shouldn’t have said anything.
- Are you staying the night?
- Yes, I have to keep an eye on the kids while your wife is away.
- Then I’ll see you around doll, I need a shower. He winked and walked to leave the kitchen, when he passed by me he patted the top of my head.
What?! The nickname got me all confused and flustered, but then the way he touched my head, was it all in a “oh how cute” way? Or a “let’s fuck till daylight”?
I stood there, still processing the whole conversation we had, now I feel embarrassed.
Headed directly to the guest bedroom and took a shower too. I felt so hot, cheeks red and teary eyes. Got my pajamas on, don’t I own a prudish set? Pair of pants and an oversized tee. If he were to walk into the room and saw me wearing this, I bet he would laugh.
Of course I couldn’t sleep a wink. Thinking the hot man was somewhere under the same roof. Foolishly kept imagining things, the way his hands would feel against my skin, his big hands around my throat, long fingers inside my pussy. Oh god!
The mere three or four hours of sleep I got, I slept them like a dog, after about three orgasms I achieved by rubbing my clit. It felt awful afterwards. He was a married man after all, he didn’t love his wife but they were together, he got two children who I adored and spent a lot of time with.
Mr. Jeon would never look at me like that anyways, I bet he had a bunch of women already. Models, celebrities, escorts.
Saturday morning I had breakfast with the kids, I usually arrive after they had finished. Once done we head upstairs to get ready for their swimming lesson. They had a private instructor every Saturday to teach them how to swim, I sat on one of the pallets by the pool.
After the lesson ended, the kids wanted to stay and keep playing in the pool, it was a hot day since summer was around the corner.
- Pleaseee! You can grab one of mom’s swimsuits. The oldest daughter insisted I should join them on their little chasing game inside the water.
- I’d like to but it’s almost lunchtime and then we have things to do remember? You wanted to go to the supermarket and buy snacks. I insisted that it wasn’t a good idea, even though I really wanted to jump into the fresh water, but maybe it would seem shameless.
I ended up getting in. One of the maids brought me one of the many Mrs. Jeon’s bikinis, she told me she grabbed it from a big bag full of clothing she was about to throw away. It was a tiny black Valentino bikini with a white outline.
We played for a while and then got out to have lunch, we sat in the outdoor dining table, all soaked, the tips of our fingers wrinkled from spending too much time on the water.
And then he comes out from inside the house, wearing a black polo shirt tucked in a pair of navy blue jeans, black Saint Laurent sunglasses. He took them out and looked at me from head to toe, licking his lips.
Was he home the whole time?! I’ve never ran into him on Saturdays. I was standing up beside the table, opening a can of sprite for the youngest son.
The kids waved at his father and continued eating, he gave each a kiss on their forehead and stood in front of me.
- When is my mother supposed to pick them up? He said, head lowered to look at me in the eyes.
- Tomorrow morning.
- I’ll tell her to take them today, have everything ready. He said putting his glasses on and heading to the garage.
I’m already imagining things, foolishly thinking he might have a hidden intention to ask his mother to take the kids early, maybe all he wants is my ass out of his house and I’m here all nervous believing he might want some alone time to fuck my brains out, very unlikely.
Once the kids were gone I went to my room, packed everything. I was meant to leave after the grandma took the children TOMORROW, now they are gone and I’m confused on what should I do.
More like expecting Mr. Jeon to come home and…
Toc, toc, toc.
He opened the door and looked at me sitting on the edge of the bed.
- On my studio, in five. He said and quickly closed the door and left.
What the fuck?!
I was almost having a panic attack before I knocked his studio door three times. I decided to change into a white tank top, no bra, white cotton panties and a pair of blue stripped pants, what I had intended to wear tomorrow.
Heard a small come in, and opened the door to enter.
He was sitting in a grey loveseat, manspreading, left hand on his crotch, right holding a cigarette between his lips, such a breathtaking view.
- Come sit with me. He ordered patting the couch.
I walked slowly, still shaking from the nervousness. Sat next to him, hands and eyes on my tights, I couldn’t look at him.
- Is this what you want? He took my hand with both of his, which made me look at his face. He was waiting for an answer.
- What do you mean? Of course I knew what he meant, I guess I just wanted to hear him say it to be sure.
- Do you want me to fuck you? Here, right now?
Yes.
He grabbed my face by my chin and pressed his lips against mine. He let me set the pace at first. His lips were soft, breath tasted like tobacco. I could feel how at times he was struggling not to kiss me harder.
So I let him slide his tongue inside my mouth. He grabbed my hips to place me on his lap, groaning at the feeling of my covered pussy on top of his crotch. He bit and dragged my lower lip, his kisses started to descend from my chin to my neck.
- From the first moment I saw you, your eyes were pleading me to fuck you, then I saw you in that tiny bikini, so naughty.
My pussy was throbbing, his words and his desperate kisses against my skin had me drunk in pleasure already.
He took the hem of my top to remove it, tits bounced right in front of his eyes. He chuckled and looked at me with a smirk, grabbed them with his huge hands, caressing them as if they were two stress balls. With his thumb, he started rubbing my nipples, eyes on mine the whole time.
- You like that princess?
I was a moaning mess, nodded and arched my back. It felt so good, a numbing sensation right into my pussy hole, soaking wet.
He left my nipples to grab my buttocks, automatically started to rub myself on his bulge. He closed his eyes and moaned, then kissed my lips hungrily. Grabbed my waist and helped me pace my movements, he laid back on the couch, locking his eyes to mine.
I stood up to remove my pants, once off he grabbed my hips and sat me on his lap, this time my back against his chest. His rough hands start to brush my body, from my breasts to my stomach.
- Open your legs princess. Obeying immediately to his command, I was already desperate for his touch down there, couldn’t help but to feel powerless under his touch.
I whimpered as I felt his hands pushing my panties to the side, and started to stroke my clit. He then took his fingers to my entrance only to remove them quickly. I moaned and turned my head to look at him in disbelief. He brings his fingers up to my mouth, coated with my juices.
- Lick them.
I slowly wrapped my lips around his long fingers, doe eyes staring at his while circling my tongue against his digits. Spit dripping from my chin and his hands, such a filthy sight. He then removed them from my mouth producing a popping sound.
He took those two fingers down my pussy again, inserted them into my pulsing hole. His hands are skilled, every move he makes hits the right spot, I dropped my head back in pleasure and let out an embarrassingly loud moan, he started kissing my neck, sucking and licking.
- Such a filthy whore, you like my fingers? He said with a deep voice, groaning in my ear. His eyes were fixed in my pussy the whole time, he seemed to enjoy watching his fingers going in and out of my hole.
He had been fingering me for a while, when I felt that familiar response down my pussy, a numbing sensation signaling my orgasm was close to take place.
Jungkook thrusted and curled his fingers hitting the right spot with insane accuracy each time. His cock throbbed underneath me, my thighs trembled as I tried to keep them spreaded. The sight spurred him on as he added another finger, I groaned loudly at the stretch he was now giving me with three fingers.
- Come on baby, cum all over my hand. He mumbled against my ear. It didn’t take long for my release to come. Jungkook groaned, shifting his hips to get some friction himself as he helped you ride it out.
He laid me against the couch before his mouth littered hot kisses across my chest only pausing when he felt my fingers delicately trail along the waistband of his pants, looking forward to undo the button. Jungkook met my gaze with a smirk on his lips.
- Please sir, can I have your cock now? I asked, my eyes innocently blinked up at him. Jungkook groaned at my words, he felt himself twitch desperately against his cotton prison as he looked at my doe expression patiently waiting for him. He gently pushed me on the soft silk couch before beginning to free himself. His cock slapped against his stomach, pre cum already leaking from the tip which he used as lubricant as he gave himself a few pumps.
My legs automatically opened for him to slot himself in between. I felt his tip prod at my entrance, he began to rub, coating his hard dick with my juices. Jungkook sunk himself into my throbbing heat. He started off at a slow pace, kissing my neck softly. Once he felt me clench him, Jungkook started to move faster.
My moans caused him to thrust harder as he found himself wanting to draw more of them out of my pretty lips. It didn’t take long for me to become cockdrunk as I clutch at his forearms, the intense arousal forming again in your stomach. Jungkook felt his balls tighten at my chants.
- Fuck! Yeah sir fuck me harder, I love how your cock feels inside me. My words spurring him to drive himself deeper inside me. My eyes rolled back and my body went limp in his arms as I came for the second time that night. My body was sensitive as he kept thrusting through My orgasm trying to chase his own. He watched my eyes roll as I let him continue to use me like the a slut.
- Oh my god! Sir, please cum inside me, I want your cum inside my pussy. My willingness to submit to him caused his hips to sputter and coat my walls. I could feel his cum warming me from the inside causing me to smile at the feeling of being full of the essence of my boss’s husband. The action solidified the new dynamic between the two of us.
Jungkook pulled his softening cock out of me gently, I heard him get off the couch and leave the room to get a wet cloth to help clean up the mess in between my legs. I snuggled my head into the pillows behind.
- You did so good for me baby, was this okay? Is this what you need? Jungkook asked, sitting next to me on the couch. He moved some hairs away from my face and began stroking my cheek awaiting a response.
- I loved it, thank you sir. I spoke with a soft smile. Jungkook’s helped me slip into the comfort of the bedding in the guest room, he laid in the bed scooping me into his embrace. I laid on his chest whilst he stroked my back, lulling me to sleep with his actions and for the first time I slept peacefully in the embrace of my new lover.
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jeon jeongguk#bts jungkook#smut#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook one shot#jungkook au#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fluff#jungkook fic#babysitter au#bts
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Chemical Override (bonus chapter three) - In the Modern World
Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader
a/n: I knew I wanted to do a fun bonus chapter after part seven, but I wasn't sure what about. Then came this music video, with this feral slimey cat, and the rest is history. Not to mention this brilliant anon further fueled the idea for the plot!
series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist
Seems so hard just to be If it matters You complete me 🦎
This is set between part two and part three of the story. Right after the rumours of the reader with Jacob surface and she clarifies to Ewan that it's all just PR, and before he gets boozy and sends the voicemail.
Ewan
Martin’s room is typical of any unemployed and aimless outcast in their late 20s. Particularly, one with a penchant for conspiracy theories, reptilian critters, diorama building, and surface-level anarchy.
“So he’s just like a regular guy,” Ewan jokes, making the director Luna laugh.
“Sure, I bet this is how your own room is like back in… Derby, was it?”
“Yeah,” Ewan nods. “I actually have a place here in London now, too. The room is the same. But I’ve got more than one lizard.”
“Good one, mate,” she claps him on the back, before walking further into the room. She stops in front of the craggly stands that Martin passes off a workstation. “Here is where he keeps his pets. As you know, he’s got spiders, iguanas, and the rogue chinchilla.”
“Look at that little guy,” Ewan stoops down to inspect the grey rodent. “You lost there, buddy?”
“That one is our cameraman Eddie’s,” she remarks. “The bugs - we borrowed from the local habitat. All under code, of course.”
“Mmm,” he looks around the room. Maroon sheets, used up art supplies like glue and various unclean brushes, pieces of silver wire, old cables, duct tape, painted figurines, a scattering of old tickets for an underground fighting ring. Propped up on the headboard of his bed is a stolen street sign. On the wall is an assortment of posters - some of bands, some of comic strips, but mainly just scraps of art Martin finds from the internet. A rabid dog with its teeth bared. Grotesque humanoid figures.
Standard, regular pictures.
“You like the posters?” Luna notices him perusing the wall. “You know, I had the idea of incorporating something you like here. Maybe a band or… you like Metallica, I heard?”
“Hmm? Oh yeah, I love them. So I get to choose a poster that would fit Martin?”
“Sure,” she shrugs. “Something that represents both yourself and Martin, why not? Make up a backstory for it. It can be anything you set your mind to, really. Let’s start with - what would you have on your wall?”
He considers just taking her up on her suggestion of Metallica, maybe a live image of the band in their 2009 Mexico show. But he didn’t want to settle on that idea just yet. What is he fixated on at the moment? What film, what song, what popular character…
Then it strikes him, causing the blood to rise to the surface of his pale cheeks. Of course. There is you.
But if he props up a full-blown image of you, just you, maybe from a photoshoot or a candid photograph, would that be too much? Would he be crossing the line?
Last he heard from you, he found out that the supposed relationship you have with Jacob Elordi is but a ruse for the sake of publicity. Thank the gods, as Aegon screamed before Aemond set him ablaze.
But in this instance, Ewan’s relief is not entirely unfounded. You aren’t with anyone. He knows he should make a move, a proper one, and not just drop hints of his admiration in interviews like the one he just did for Vanity Fair. But what can he do? You’re all the way across the Atlantic, far from his desperate reach.
As selfish as it sounds, he couldn’t bear the thought of hearing you’re with someone else and knowing it’s true. The confession is yet to stumble out of him, but he knew he was already yours.
He calls you whenever he can, whenever he misses you, which is quite often, as evidenced by the lengthy log of long-distance calls on his phone, from England to America.
“What about something House of the Dragon related?” he asks. “Could serve as a nice easter egg for the fans, if they see this.”
“I don’t see why not? If you can convince us of Martin’s motivation for it, of why he would put that poster on his wall, then we can add it right away.”
He smiles shyly, glancing down at his sneakers. He knows his own motivation for putting your image up on his wall, but what about Martin’s? He tests some ideas out, gauging Luna’s reaction, “What if he’s a sci-fi, fantasy fanatic? If he’s a devout follower of George RR Martin, and so… naturally, he had a look at House of the Dragon as well?”
She purses her lips, tilting her head in thought. “That’s something right there, yeah. But we kind of saw him as being against television, you know? Against popular media in general, and he's a guy with an affinity for obscure dark video games and comic books.”
“Hmm, yeah, yeah,” he does his best to form the proposition in his mind. How does he offer the suggestion without being too obvious? “So what if, you know, he happened to see this one character in the show, and he’s just enamoured with them for some reason? This makes it remarkable, because he does admire her, but as an act of rebellion, he still doesn’t watch the show and only bothers himself with her scenes and the art style to her character, and - ”
“Wait, her?” Luna smiles, her confusion dwindling. She’s heard the rumours. Or fan theories. Or whatever the kids call it nowadays. She hasn’t been living under a rock, and Ewan definitely hasn’t kept mum about his crush either.
“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck, unable to look her directly in the eye, “I was thinking of having a poster for a character from the show.”
“I thought you wanted a poster of a dragon or something,” she jokes. “So, which character? Apologies, I’m not too familiar with a lot of them.” Ewan would recognise the knowing glint in her gaze, if he wasn’t too busy pretending to inspect a scrap of faux moldy wallpaper sticking out of the wall. Set design really outdid themselves in the details, all to give the impression that Martin is a negligent slob.
“Uhhm,” he dithers, a crooked smile breaking out despite him chewing on his bottom lip, “she’s, uhhh, one of the new characters this season.”
“Oh?” she plays along, nodding, “Which one? From what I saw, there’s two camps, right? And your camp is green, is she in that?”
“No, actually,” he shakes his head, “she’s in the opposing team, you could say.”
“That’s interesting,” she nods, slowly, trying to encourage him to simply spit it out. “You know, Ewan, mate, if you don’t actually tell me which character you want to put up, then this poster idea isn’t going to work out.”
His gaze snaps back to her, and he awkwardly titters under his breath. “Right, right. Uhhm, she’s called Alyna… Alyna Rivers.”
Luna’s mouth forms an O, as if she’s enjoying this little gotcha moment. She realises that Ewan, while reserved, wears his heart on his sleeve. What a lucky girl you are.
“And… why would Martin want her specifically up on his wall?”
The emphasis on Martin came off as superficial, her tone humorous, leading Ewan to believe that she actually pertains to him and not the character.
“He might see her as some sort of muse, you know… she’s a fighter, she’s got a fire in her…”
“And he’s got a crush on her.”
“Oh… well…”
“He likes her.”
“Uhhh… yeah I guess…”
“You guess?” she raises her eyebrows, grinning, “come on Ewan, what does Martin feel about her?”
“She’s his… his ray of light,” he decides. “His world is a mess. He’s lost. His one release entails getting beat up bloody every other day. But the idea of her is his beacon of hope. Untainted, you know. She’s… she’s perfect. She wouldn’t hurt him like the rest of the world already has.”
Luna nods in understanding, satisfied. She casually slings an arm over his shoulder, then says, “You know something, mate? That sounds a lot more than a crush to me.”
“Mmm,” he smiles, agreeing, the welcome image of you flooding his mind like always, “it sure does.”
The entire cast and crew for In the Modern World have the subsequent three days to accomplish filming.
Ewan sits in the makeup trailer, awaiting his cue, his vision now impaired by the unkempt strands of his long black wig. Spiky grunge cuffs decorate his wrists. He wears an ill-fitting pair of jeans and a t-shirt, the costume for the first scene to be filmed.
He has already gone through the process of trying to get in Martin’s head, seeing what makes him tick, what drives his actions, priming himself to jump inside his skin. He’s ready. At this point during filming, he has the habit of eliminating any distraction to maintain focus, and his phone is tucked inside his backpack on airplane mode.
Defying his routine, he retrieves his phone, nervous fingers clicking away until they land on your contact. He hovers over the voice call option, opting at the last second to do a video call instead.
The front camera turns on, catching him off guard with how messy he appears. Maybe this was not the best idea, he falters, what am I doing? I’m gonna scare her off.
“Ewan?” It’s too late to change his mind when your cheerful voice answers, your expression curious and inviting. His ray of light. “Is that you?”
He timidly brushes his hair - his wig - away from his face. “Hello, darling. I thought I’d ring you for a second.”
You laugh openly, drawing your face closer to your phone to get a better look at him, “Are you shooting the music video right now? Oh my god, look at you!”
He smiles sheepishly, teeth clamping over his bottom lip. “What do you think?”
“Wow,” you shake your head, the sunlight reflecting on your face from wherever you are. Likely walking around outside the studio, as he spots the white buildings in the background. “You look so… cool. This is like Aemond in the modern world, rebelling against his mother with the help of cheap hair dye.”
He appreciates your clever assessment, feeling much better about himself. “Don’t I look shabby?”
“Ewan,” you click your tongue, “judging by what you told me about your character, I think you’re supposed to look shabby.”
You’re right. He shakes his head, mostly at himself, for being so concerned if you still find him attractive even in this get-up.
“I feel like Kirk Hammett. Very rock n’ roll.”
You smirk, “I’d say this is your hottest look yet.”
He blushes profusely. You think he looks hot. It may just be a passing quip, a casual thing to say, but it has him in a grip. His reaction would nearly rival that of Martin’s, who would probably jump right on to making a mini-figurine of Alyna. After just a single interaction with you, Martin would probably spend the next few weeks occupied with objectionable fantasies. You and him, rolling around in the car. Only, car jitsu wouldn’t be the physical activity at play.
Ewan shifts in his seat, adjusting his trousers. In the end, he’s no better than Martin after all.
“Ewan?”
“Oh sorry, darling, I was just - ”
“I said that I have to go back inside,” you say, “I do appreciate your call, though.”
His face falls, despite the fact that he has to be on set soon anyway. “Of course, darling, go ahead.”
“Kick some ass for me?”
For you? Anything. “You got it, baby.” The name jumps out of him before he can stop himself, and he justifies it as a ‘Martin’ reaction. He’s in character, isn’t he?
You roll your eyes. It is your turn to blush and fail at hiding it, and you do. “Okay, rockstar. Talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” he says, then adds, “Wait!”
You raise your phone again. “Oh, what is it?”
“I, uhhh, I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” you smile, and he commits the image to memory. This moment is his, just his; Martin can bloody wait.
Martin
Martin throws himself down on his bed, limbs limp and flailing about. It must have been the hundredth time for that afternoon - getting up, rolling back on the mattress, prodding his pets, jumping around the room to incoherent punk music, cigarettes burning out between his chapped lips.
He has nothing to do today, not until it’s time. Just like every other day, every other week, in this drudgery of an existence. Everything means nothing, and the twisted truth of it is that he thinks himself free.
Free of the cycle. Free of meaningless friendships. Free of love. Free of her.
The ghost of his ex-lover still haunts him, golden haired and rosy-cheeked, bundled up in her puffy coat like some cheap caricature of an angel. But she was no angel. Angels would not abandon someone they claim to love, with a mere snap of their manicured fingers.
But she haunts him. What they had, and what they could have had. Was it even his? Would it have come out with a thin sprig of dark curls? He did not care to know now.
She was his everything once. But isn’t that overrated? Falling in love is so overrated.
His fingers clumsily mess with the controls for his toy helicopter as he lays down. The apparatus hovers above head, filling the room with a buzzing noise. His lit cigarette stumbles from his lips, and the noise is joined with his frantic, fuck, fuck, fuck, as he tries to shake it out of his hair. He succeeds, but the helicopter teeters in the air, until it slams against the poster of Alyna Rivers displayed over his headboard.
He lets it fall, becoming distracted with her image. It’s a promotional still of her in her complete hunting attire - a fitted leather jerkin over a dark red tunic, tight breeches tucked into knee-high boots, a dagger sheathed in her belt. But his favourite addition is the longbow she grips in her hand, her fierce expression making it known that she is prepared to draw it back at a moment’s notice.
Martin gets on his knees on the bed. He kisses two fingers, then gently touches them to her poster in a gesture of reverence.
If only…
“Good morrow, my lady,” he says in a sing-song voice, “always a pleasure to come upon your visage.”
He leans closer, tracing her figure with precision, “I bet you can fix me. I bet you can make me feel alive.”
He chases after euphoria that night, over and over, fucked up and depraved and empty. But it hits different this time. It’s better.
As white spots flicker and dance in his vision, and the fog in his mind threatens to swallow everything, it’s not the vision of his ex that flashes before him - it’s Alyna he sees.
Her face is sharp and real, cutting through the haze like a beacon. She holds him together as exhaustion takes over him and the oxygen is slowly cut off from his windpipe. She anchors him, even on the precipice of oblivion.
The opponent is alarmed by Martin’s eyes rolling back revealing the whites of his eyes. He loosens his hold, letting go even if Martin refuses to tap out.
“Fuck, you alright?” he rasps.
Martin doesn’t hear him. His bloodstained, cracked lips curl into a ghost of a smile as his hand trembles, reaching out to press against the fogged-up windshield.
With a fragile sense of peace, he murmurs, “You fixed me.”
Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @onlyrealjoy @hotdismylife @thepurplecrown @just-fics-station @clarkysblog @urmomsgirlfriend1 @misfitbimbosblog (continued in comments ... )
Some notes in the margins...
I know I said I would include the reader's reaction to the music video, but I decided to use the time to work on part eight... I still might get to writing this idea as a drabble though 🤷🏻♀️
Not Ewan having beef with his own character HAHAHA this lad I swear
Part eight out very, very soon! It'll be a wild ride. Oh, I'm not even kidding :)
#ewan mitchell#ewan mitchell imagine#ewan mitchell x reader#chemical override#in the modern world#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen x reader
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[“Coming out was very lonely. I had very few friends. Most of the adult lesbians I knew were alcoholics, chronically unemployed, prone to violence, self-hating, apolitical, closeted, cliquish. Lesbians hated each other. If you found a lover you stopped going to the bar because you could not trust other lesbians; they would try to break up your relationship. My first woman lover went into the military, where she turned in other lesbians so she would not be exposed. One of my dyke friends got a job as a supervisor in a cabinet-making company and refused to hire lesbians because, she said, they were unreliable employees who were disliked by the other workers. The only thing that seemed worse to me than the apolitical lesbian community I came out in was the strangulation of pretending to be straight. I came out only because I could not go back; there was no place for me to stand in the het world. I was driven out.
Moving to San Francisco improved things somewhat. There was more public lesbian space there—six bars instead of one. But it did not alleviate the loathing with which my family viewed me. Nor was San Francisco in the early seventies any sort of gay utopia. We had no gay-rights law, queer bashing was a frequent event, and everyone had lost at least one job or been denied a place to live. It was a relief to be surrounded by other lesbian feminists, but only to a point. Bar dykes and feminists still had contempt for one another. Feminism rapidly became a way to reconstitute sexual prudery, to the point that it seemed to me that bar dykes were actually more accepting of and knowledgeable about the range of behavior that constituted lesbianism. In the bars or in the women’s movement, separatism was pretty much mandatory, if you didn’t want to get your ass kicked or be shunned. Separatism deteriorated into a rationalization for witch hunts in the lesbian community rather than a way for women to bond with one another and become more powerful activists. The lesbian community of that decade did terrible things to bi women, transgender people, butch/femme lesbians, bar dykes, dykes who were not antiporn, bisexual and lesbian sex workers, fag hags, and dykes who were perceived as being perverts rather than über-feminists. We were so guilty about being queer that only a rigid adherence to a puritanical party line could redeem us from the hateful stereotypes of mental illness and sexual debauchery.
What did I gain? I came a little closer to making my insides match my outsides, and that was no small blessing. The first time I met other dykes I recognized a part of myself in them, and knew I would have to let it out so I could see who I was. For a time, being a lesbian quieted my gender dysphoria because it made it possible for me to be a different kind of woman. That was an enormous relief.
For a long time, I hoped that by being strong, sexually adventurous, and sharpening my feminist consciousness, I could achieve a better fit between my body and the rest of me. Lesbianism was a platform from which I could develop a different sort of feminism, one that included a demand for sexual freedom and had room for women of all different erotic proclivities. I had a little good sex and discovered that I was not a cold person, I could love other people. It was as a lesbian that I began to find my voice as a writer, because in the early days of the women’s movement, we valued every woman’s experience. There was a powerful ethic around making it possible for every woman to speak out, to testify, to have her say. But there were always these other big pieces of my internal reality that lesbianism left no room for.
The first big piece of cognitive dissonance I had to deal with, in my second coming out, was S/M. I date my coming out as a leather dyke from two different decisions. One was a decision to write down one of my sexual fantasies, the short story that eventually became “Jessie.” At the time I wrote the rough draft of that story, I had never tied anybody up or done anything else kinky. I was terribly blocked as a writer. I kept beginning stories and poems that I would destroy. I have no idea if they were any good or not. My self-loathing was so intense, my inner critic so strong, that I could not evaluate my own work.
So I decided to write this one piece, under the condition that I never had to publish it or show it to another person. I just wanted to tell the truth about one thing. And I was badly in need of connecting with my own sexuality since I was in the middle of what would be a five-year relationship with a woman who insisted we be monogamous, but refused to have sex with me. So I wrote about dominance and submission, the things I fantasized about when I masturbated that upset me so much I became nauseated. Lightning did not strike. As I read and reread my own words, I thought some of them were beautiful. I dared show this story to a few other people. Some of them hated it. Some of them were titillated. Nobody had ever seen anything like it before. The story began to circulate in Xerox form, lesbian samizdat. I found the strength to defend my story when I was told it was unspeakable or wildly improbable.
In October of 1976, I attended a lesbian health conference in Los Angeles and went to a workshop there about S/M. In order to go to a workshop, you had to sign a registration sheet. I was harassed by dykes who were monitoring this space to see who dared sign up for that filthy workshop. On my way, I had to walk through a gauntlet of women who were booing and hissing, calling names, demanding that the workshop be canceled, threatening to storm the room and kick us all out of the conference. The body language and self-calming techniques I had learned when I had to deal with antigay harassment on the street came in very handy, but how odd it was to be using those defenses against the antagonism of other dykes. Their hatred felt like my mother’s hatred. I am so glad I did not let it stop me.
When I got home from that workshop, I knew that I was not the only one. Not only were there other lesbians who fantasized about sadomasochism, there were women who had done these things with each other. I decided to come out again. If there were other leather dykes in San Francisco, they had to be able to find me, so I had to make myself visible. This meant that I often did not get service at lesbian bars, or I was asked to leave women-only clubs and restaurants. I was called names, threatened, spit at. I got hate mail and crank calls. But I also found my tribe. And because I had already experienced my first coming out, I knew we were not going to be an ideal, happy family. I could be more patient with our dysfunctions, and see them as the result of being scared, marginalized, kicked around. Being a leather dyke took me another step closer to dealing with my gender issues. I could experiment with extreme femme and extreme butch drag; take on a male persona during sex play. I gave up separatism because I needed to take support from any place where it was available. Gay men already had a thriving leather culture, and I wanted to learn from them. I also wanted to have sex with them. It still wasn’t okay as far as lesbian feminism was concerned to be bisexual, to be transgendered, but I could bring those folks into my life and make alliances with them. I could defend them in print. There was even more good sex, and people who loved me and received my love despite the fact that it was dangerous for us to show ourselves to one another. I faced my sexual shadow, and she bowed to me and then danced beautifully in profile against the white walls of my consciousness. My writer’s voice was unlocked.”]
pat califa, from layers of the onion, spokes of the wheel, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000
#pat califa#bi literature#lesbian literature#trans literature#history stuff#gender stuff#terra preta
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How the Biden-Harris Economy Left Most Americans Behind
A government spending boom fueled inflation that has crushed real average incomes.
By The Editorial Board -- Wall Street Journal
Kamala Harris plans to roll out her economic priorities in a speech on Friday, though leaks to the press say not to expect much different than the last four years. That’s bad news because the Biden-Harris economic record has left most Americans worse off than they were four years ago. The evidence is indisputable.
President Biden claims that he inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression, but this isn’t close to true. The economy in January 2021 was fast recovering from the pandemic as vaccines rolled out and state lockdowns eased. GDP grew 34.8% in the third quarter of 2020, 4.2% in the fourth, and 5.2% in the first quarter of 2021. By the end of that first quarter, real GDP had returned to its pre-pandemic high. All Mr. Biden had to do was let the recovery unfold.
Instead, Democrats in March 2021 used Covid relief as a pretext to pass $1.9 trillion in new spending. This was more than double Barack Obama’s 2009 spending bonanza. State and local governments were the biggest beneficiaries, receiving $350 billion in direct aid, $122 billion for K-12 schools and $30 billion for mass transit. Insolvent union pension funds received a $86 billion rescue.
The rest was mostly transfer payments to individuals, including a five-month extension of enhanced unemployment benefits, a $3,600 fully refundable child tax credit, $1,400 stimulus payments per person, sweetened Affordable Care Act subsidies, an increased earned income tax credit including for folks who didn’t work, housing subsidies and so much more.
The handouts discouraged the unemployed from returning to work and fueled consumer spending, which was already primed to surge owing to pent-up savings from the Covid lockdowns and spending under Donald Trump. By mid-2021, Americans had $2.3 trillion in “excess savings” relative to pre-pandemic levels—equivalent to roughly 12.5% of disposable income.
So much money chasing too few goods fueled inflation, which was supercharged by the Federal Reserve’s accommodative policy. Historically low mortgage rates drove up housing prices. The White House blamed “corporate greed” for inflation that peaked at 9.1% in June 2022, even as the spending party in Washington continued.
In November 2021, Congress passed a $1 trillion bill full of green pork and more money for states. Then came the $280 billion Chips Act and Mr. Biden’s Green New Deal—aka the Inflation Reduction Act—which Goldman Sachs estimates will cost $1.2 trillion over a decade. Such heaps of government spending have distorted private investment.
While investment in new factories has grown, spending on research and development and new equipment has slowed. Overall private fixed investment has grown at roughly half the rate under Mr. Biden as it did under Mr. Trump. Manufacturing output remains lower than before the pandemic.
Magnifying market misallocations, the Administration conditioned subsidies on businesses advancing its priorities such as paying union-level wages and providing child care to workers. It also boosted food stamps, expanded eligibility for ObamaCare subsidies and waved away hundreds of billions of dollars in student debt. The result: $5.8 trillion in deficits during Mr. Biden’s first three years—about twice as much as during Donald Trump’s—and the highest inflation in four decades.
Prices have increased by nearly 20% since January 2021, compared to 7.8% during the Trump Presidency. Inflation-adjusted average weekly earnings are down 3.9% since Mr. Biden entered office, compared to an increase of 2.6% during Mr. Trump’s first three years. (Real wages increased much more in 2020, but partly owing to statistical artifacts.)
Higher interest rates are finally bringing inflation under control, which is allowing real wages to rise again. But the Federal Reserve had to raise rates higher than it otherwise would have to offset the monetary and fiscal gusher. The higher rates have pushed up mortgage costs for new home buyers.
Three years of inflation and higher interest rates are stretching American pocketbooks, especially for lower income workers. Seriously delinquent auto loans and credit cards are higher than any time since the immediate aftermath of the 2008-09 recession.
Ms. Harris boasts that the economy has added nearly 16 million jobs during the Biden Presidency—compared to about 6.4 million during Mr. Trump’s first three years. But most of these “new” jobs are backfilling losses from the pandemic lockdowns. The U.S. has fewer jobs than it was on track to add before the pandemic.
What’s more, all the Biden-Harris spending has yielded little economic bang for the taxpayer buck. Washington has borrowed more than $400,000 for every additional job added under Mr. Biden compared to Mr. Trump’s first three years. Most new jobs are concentrated in government, healthcare and social assistance—60% of new jobs in the last year.
Administrative agencies are also creating uncertainty by blitzing businesses with costly regulations—for instance, expanding overtime pay, restricting independent contractors, setting stricter emissions limits on power plants and factories, micro-managing broadband buildout and requiring CO2 emissions calculations in environmental reviews.
The economy is still expanding, but business investment has slowed. And although the affluent are doing relatively well because of buoyant asset prices, surveys show that most Americans feel financially insecure. Thus another political paradox of the Biden-Harris years: Socioeconomic disparities have increased.
Ms. Harris is promising the same economic policies with a shinier countenance. Don’t expect better results.
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