#under the reasoning that more people lived in the town (which is bullshit btw. the reserve is probably in the top 10 most populated

[neechees]

There's this vid going around of this tiktoker calling this town in AB "a very welcoming place" when it's incredibly racist

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

I had a dream, where there was this movie called something like Hoisho and the Windfolk. (Straight up what it was called btw) Apparently dream me has been searching for this movie forever. Cause apparently no one remembers the ending or the twist at the end. They all remember and have clips of the most fucked it scene which many believe is the actual ending of the movie, as well as other clips from the beginning of the movie.

The only reason I’m putting this under more is because holy shit is it long. My dreams and all the damn lore they come with, like jeez man.

It was a movie about these two factions, the windfolks: people who believe in bringing beauty back to the world via ancient statues, who held on to tradition tightly, and they were considered old style despite abandoning the main reason they are even called windfolks.Then there was the other faction, which did have a name but i don’t remember it, they were a faction of larger beast who were a strange combination of lizard, amphibian, man, and machine. They were the future but they were the result of a scientist who made wanted to create the ultimate defense for human kind, or something, which lead to the downfall of the world and a terrible war that ripped the world in two. After the war, Each faction never crossed into the others borders. Then we meet Hoisho, a young lad and part of the windfolk. All kids have this sense of adventure and are wild, so as per tradition, they go to learn about why it is dangerous to go out adventuring, why trying to befriend an enemy is pointless, and why creating something new is dangerous. The windfolk believe that restoring ancient statues that were destroyed in the war will bring them true peace, especially when these statues are built with a rare metal that only came to be because of the war. It was clumpy and strange but shaping it with your tools was almost impossible with how tough the stuff was. When put into the light it would glitter and shine bright colors, and if the statue was done correctly then the true colors would appear. Aka if the statue was of a blonde woman then when it was remade with this special metal in the correct way, you could actually see the blonde hair when the statue was in the sunlight. Creating something new was prohibited since it was seen as a waste of metal, and it was so rare that most windfolk will never see a new collection of it in their life time. They are taught that the mines are the place they will spend their lives, and that they are only called windfolk in honor of their ancestors who flew in the sky. They were also taught to never explore past the tree line or to open the ��rat door.” Each of which was basically a death sentence. Hoisho didn’t believe in this kind of stuff and thought that their people should abandon the destroyed past and live as they were supposed to, flying in the sky! But the elders said that windfolks have never actually flown in the sky, however Hoisho, being the explorer he is, found old paintings and relics depicting their ancestors gliding through the sky. So he thinks it’s all bullshit and wants to prove them wrong without giving up his secret hiding spot where all the evidence is, in fear of them destroying it.

However one day Hoisho, accidentally crossed into the other factions territory. He tried to get their attention thinking they were some tall windfolks, but when he grabbed some of their hands he noticed they were far bigger than any of the windfolk. He tried to run, the fog hiding his cover, but he found himself in a crowd, that only seems to be getting taller. The crowd sees him and thinks him a bug, they find joy in keeping him a pet or simply squishing him into a paste. Hoisho, terrified tries to leave but eventually is found only for them to become enraged, accusing him of trying to steal their tech and start another war. Well they won’t let him start the war cause they’re gonna start it! They tell him to let his little town of weaklings know, a war is coming. He is let go and runs off to his home to tell them what happened. They are pissed and banish Hoisho from their home and tell him that if he comes back they’ll throw him into the “rat door” Either way they must prepare for a war. Hoisho then asks why the rat door is so dangerous, with such a stupid name. They explain, (and in the movie it is shown in a different visual style and considered the most fucked up part of the movie) that a criminal in their society will be walked to the door and shoved in. When the door opens screams of what sounds like a strange combination of human like screams and rat screeches. We get to see a glimpse of what’s inside and its filled with a horrifying image. Of people fused into giant rats with body parts scattered about, their eyes being crazed out from what has happened to them. Like it was fucked up.

Hoisho runs off and tries living on his own when he meets a strange man his size, which he thought only the windfolk were his size but this man is clearly not one of them. From his gray skin and jet black hair, which gave off a feather like look. (Windfolk tended to have actual color in their skin, just think humans tbh) He takes the boy in and tells him that everything he knows is a lie…

THEN MY FUCKING DREAM MOM GOES “This movie is cheesy and dumb, turn it off” and she does that. When I’ve been searching for this damn movie for fucking years because I’ve never seen past the part of where Hoisho meets the stranger! And this bitch just turns it off?!?!? And doesn’t even let me watch the rest of it?!!? I was so pissed that I actually woke up.

Anyway from what I could remember and gather I think I know the twist. In the dream I remember there were many different theories on what happens and other theories about the windfolk. Like why is it called Hoisho, and the windfolks, when he is already one of them? One theory is, That the windfolk we meet at the beginning aren’t the actual windfolk. But then where did they go? Some believe that the rat door holds them and that they’ve all become these horrifying monsters behind the door. Others believe that the mysterious man is actually a descendant of the real windfolks, which may or may not have intermingled with whatever Hoisho and the rest of the fake windfolks are. With this theory it is thought that the fake windfolks are actually “rat folks” and that those who are too wild are sent into the door because they will one day break into the monsters that lie behind the door. But there are so many questions about the rest of the story! What about the giant faction? Why were they so into violence but many of them actually didn’t care for it? It was only the soldiers that were itching for a fight. Why did that special metal appear after the war? Is that metal their deceased corpses? They were know to be cyborgs in a way. Why are they huge? Are the folks humans? Or are humans all gone? Are the different folks tiny people who were a result from the war or were they always around? Why the fuck was it considered a fun kids movie when the whole “Rat door” sequence existed? Is the “rat door” the reason why the movie disappeared? Was it so disturbing that everyone agreed to make the movie disappear? How the fuck did my dream mother find the movie?!?!?

So many questions, no answers…although it sounds like a pretty good Internet mystery Or like an ARG tbh haha!

[sir-virtem]

so is 3 at morning and I can't sleep yet

so I guess I will just cacogramize about obvious stuff that probably had being talked a hundred time the past year here about Elden Ring that I probably miss because I didn't pay atteinto to the tag.

I think if we acknowledge the dead demigods (the walking mausoleum plus godwyn), some things can be pictured better or spice up fancanons and fanfics, like I have seen people said that Renna is the snow witch, that Renna is the GEQ, that Melina is Renna, but on Liurnia there are 3 walking mausoleum, (of which 2 don't even have their own army btw, strange), one can easily say that on one of those wandering sarcophagus is where rest Renna, let me justify it.

We all know that when the black knives assasins striked they killed the dead demigods, and their servant behead themself to serve them on dead, in some death bird based ritual stuff, now we need to concider something, if those are dead demigods and their walking tombs have their own escorting armies, then they are connected to the land on which they are?

We know that exist 3 regal lineages of demigods, Golden lineage (those who descend from Godfrey), Carian lineage (those who descend from Renalla) and Order lineage (those who descend of both Marika and Radagon, idl why they would had more children), the easiest thing to point in this case is that the three turtle chapels in liurnia are of carian lineage, after all Ranni, Rykard and Radahn became demigods when Radagon married Marika and logically any other sibling they had would had became a demigod too.

But, east Liurnia is and strategic point for Leyndell, because is where a road that connected Altus Plateu and Limgrave used to lied, of course now is cut near the Frenzy Village by a cliff, but this road is an important please to move people and resources without have to deal with Raya Lucaria's bullshit, I can see that town had being originally a leyndell settlament or outpost, perhaps even the cause of the liurnia's war, so I can see the Golden lineage sending a demigod to live and manage the place, maybe even the two dead demigods in the uhl ruins are a marry couple between a Carian and Golden Lineage demigods to strenghs their political hold over the lands, I see it's likely at least.

Of course a reason why the 2 walking mausoleum don't have their own army may be caused for a lack of hold on land too, because if they are two golden lineage demigods in carian soil and nobody felt a closeness to them or maybe is by the liurnia civil war and raya lucaria taking over the frenzy village (there are some cuckoo knights) and stopping any servant to perform the ritual. Anyway there is a turtle mastaba with their own army in Liurnia and concidering what I said before is surely Carian at least, so that one may belong to Renna.

Let's continue speculating with the others.

I think with sureness that at least 2 Walking Mausoleum are of the Golden Lineage, the one in weeping peninsula and the one in deeproot (I call them Godewere and Godward <3), the one in Crying Island is simple, it should had being the demigod in charge of Morne Castle before Godrick flied from Leyndell and took control over Limgrave, doesn't need to much thought.

The one in deeproot if we concider that Marika as a numen who took control over Leyndell then she should had know about the city under it, or may even came from there, I think that is likely Godfrey attacked the place and conquer it, even if we speculate that the eternal ciry already had collapsed by that time he would had to do it for safety, and so someone of the Golden lineage would had being appoint to mannage it, doesn't sound like a big thing until you remember that is literally were the erdtree roots start, not a glamourous to live but very important and honorable.

This leave us 2 dead demigods.

The one near Castle Sol is a hard one, in one hand we can go by the same logicls that deeproot, Castle Sol apparent to have the same arquitecture that Morne and Stormveil, so they may be of the same period, and those would had being godfrey who would build it or conquer it during the war agaisnt the giants; However the mountain tops are forbidden to access so I see unlikely that a memeber of the golden lineage to be send to hold the fort for them if they would lock and forbidden go there anyway, what I see living there is a Order Lineage demigod who would had be aligned with M&M and hold the Castle for them until the black knives night, similar perspectibe I think about the demigod on the concentrate snowfield, loyal to M&M

And that would be, honestly IDK if they would had being demigods who died during the BKN, because from Marika lines any demigod who died should had being forgotten but I can see their loyals creating them mausoleum anyway too, but that is another point, and would change to much what I say already...

[jyndor]

I’m rewatching the Puppetmaster for ~research~ and ugh.This is such a good episode but I cannot stand the treatment of Hama and also Katara’s special bending ability. And I’m gonna talk about it because I can’t help myself. But I also want to offer a solution maybe something that the writers could have done instead. Granted I’m a white US American so while I am about to talk about imperialism, anti-indigenous racism and racialized misogyny, I am coming from a position of privilege here and ymmv. It’s important that we as fans (especially white fans) acknowledge the things that our favorite stories can do better so that we can make our fandoms safer for everyone.

And btw fans of color have been talking about this so I definitely am going to be quoting some phenomenal bits of critique I have read on here. Also you should follow @shewhotellsstories and @visibilityofcolor for anti-racist fandom commentary.

I am also going to talk about grooming, so just be aware if that is a trigger for you.

I. Hama as a Campfire Horror Story Monster

The episode starts out with the Gaang camping in a creepy forest telling ghost stories to each other. Set to spooky music, Katara tells a story about something that happened to Kya, a friend named Nini (likely) dying in a snowstorm and then haunting her family’s home as a ghost. Immediately after, Toph hears people screaming under the ground - and then Hama finds them and invites them to her inn.

Every so often, Hama says something spooky with the spooky music playing. Katara immediately takes to Hama, but the others (especially Sokka) find her pretty unnerving. Katara says she reminds her of Gran Gran before Sokka starts snooping around and finds a bunch of puppets and a comb from the Southern Water Tribe. It’s the standard horror movie fakeout.

Every so often we get an artfully placed hint about Hama’s agenda - pulling water out of thin air, showing Katara that “plants - and all living things” are made of water. And oh yeah, she makes herself ice claws. Cool skill, but in the context of the episode, a little more unnerving.

The “moon monster” that Old Man Ding mentions, the alleged Moon spirit, turns out to be Hama (of course) and the tension builds to a peak as the Gaang rush to save Katara from the “dark puppetmaster” that has imprisoned the villagers.

Meanwhile Hama and Katara stand under the full moon washed in spooky cool lighting with an ominous breeze around them. You see Hama practically transform into a monster in a way sort of reminiscent to a werewolf - her fingers become claw-like, her veins pop out. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it’s a coincidence that as she reveals her true agenda, she becomes less human in appearance. Which... okay I’ll get to that later.

While I can’t say that Katara fits the Final Girl trope very well, I do think it’s interesting to note that horror movies often do feature women as heroes who defeat the monster/killer/whatever and usually the Final Girl is used to allow audiences to experience the full horror of the villain, which absolutely is how Katara is used here. Yes, her friends come to help, but she saves everyone in the end (my queen).

So here’s why that’s bullshit.

Framing Hama as a horror story monster make sense when you don’t think about the Implications of framing the indigenous woman POW living surrounded by people who have benefited from Fire Nation imperialism. It does - it’s a common trope: the reclusive witch who first seems kindly to some lost/wandering children before revealing her true intention - to use them for her own purposes. Yeah, I know they’re playing on Hansel and Gretel. But yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that too - drawing on a c*nnabalistic witch for inspiration when you’re writing an indigenous woman character is probably not the way to go.

II. Hama the Puppetmaster* and Groomer

A puppet master is obviously a puppeteer, and Hama has puppets (creepy though they may be). But in terms of the underlying meaning, she’s a chessmaster, an Emperor Palpatine/Dick Cheney kind of master manipulator who works mostly through other people. What most people would consider a psychopath (in layman’s terms). When her friendly mask falls, she is terrifying.

She is cold, calculating, manipulative as fuck - she isolates Katara almost immediately. Hama uses Katara’s desire to connect with her culture to groom her to become a weapon. It’s actually such a good example of grooming that it has to be purposeful:

Targeting a victim - Hama hears that Katara and Sokka are from the SWT. She also hears Katara tell a story about Kya. To Hama, a waterbender from her own culture is a hell of a target.

Gaining trust - Hama reaches out to Katara in particular, is especially kind to her, gives her individual attention that the others don’t get. She prepares a SWT feast for them and tells the Gaang about her heritage when they go snooping.

Filling a need - so once Hama has given Katara reason to trust her about waterbending, she promises Katara to pass on SWT waterbending heritage that only Hama knows. She fills a unique need of Katara’s.

Isolation - From then on out, we don’t see Katara with the rest of the Gaang until the end of the episode. Hama seems like a normal teacher but she does start to drop little hints, pushing Katara very gently to see how she will react to her real agenda and desensitizing Katara to what would otherwise seem unacceptable coming from someone else who hasn’t established that unique trust. “You’ve got to keep an open mind, Katara.”

So this would be the point at which Hama would make sexual contact but this is metaphorical so that obviously doesn’t happen. What does happen is Hama pushes Katara’s limits. She makes her pretty uncomfortable with the idea of killing the fire lilies for water, but when Hama appeals to their shared history of marginalization she gets over it.

Maintaining control: Hama makes her final move, which is obviously bloodbending, and reveals her true agenda - and when Katara refuses to manipulative living beings’ blood, Hama violates her bodily agency. And not only this, but she pushes Katara into bloodbending when she victimizes the Gaang, fully realizing her control. 

Hama sees it as a victory, and telling Katara breaks down at the end in one of the most emotional scenes in the show. She feels like so many of us have felt at some point: violated, betrayed by someone we trusted. And then they never really deal with that.

I actually think that’s the point of The Puppetmaster, especially given ATLA being a show for children. I think it’s supposed to be a metaphor for csa.

And... okay.

Undoubtedly it is important to send these messages to kids. And yes, people usually are victimized by those closest to them, by those in their own communities. But not indigenous women. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but according to the National Congress of American Indians, Native American women  and girls are more likely to be sexually assaulted by non-NA men. 57% of cases are perpetrated by white men. Not the people in their communities.

Choosing to tell this story with an indigenous woman POW (who very likely would have been victimized herself lbr) is a choice that I find really aggravating. When writers tell stories with a Point, it is incredibly important for those writers to understand the implications of what they are saying about the characters who they are using to make that point.

Like I’m not saying don’t make that point, or don’t use Katara (who would in real life be at a higher risk of sexual violence than the others) to make it, but why make the perpetrator someone who is statistically unlikely to be Katara’s abuser? I’m not sure I have a good answer to that question. My guess is, like with making Hama animalistic and about as unsympathetic as it gets, the writers just had blinders on about the cultural implications of what they were saying.

Not even considering the whole victimizing-the-“innocents”-of-the-Fire-Nation-town plot, Hama’s not a good person. This is probably because she was driven mad by the need for revenge, which, eurgh okay, but still it’s very apparent that she is not interested in winning over Katara’s support directly or honestly.

* also the antisemitic history of this trope hmm.

III. Hama and The Victims of Genocide Victimizing Oppressors #NotAllFireNation

Okay. So this is the part that I think annoys me the most because it’s so bad. Like, imagine for a minute that you’re a white guy and you’re gonna tell a story about a victim of genocide who is completely divorced from her culture and homeland, and furthermore is an escaped prisoner of war who has radicalized in prison - okay it just hit me, I know what they MIGHT have been going for, like maybe some kind of anti-Gitmo statement? But that didn’t happen. People who were stolen away from Iraq and imprisoned illegally in Guantanamo Bay, and who were released after being detained illegally, haven’t really shown any real radicalization. They’re pissed at the US for victimizing them, but like that seems pretty fair considering so many of them did nothing wrong.

That’s been the US government’s excuse for not releasing innocent people who were detained illegally. The idea that prisoners of war radicalized in Gitmo so they can’t be released because they’ll attack the US is propaganda. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened, but that’s where it comes from.

Considering the time period ATLA was written, considering how much of it was inspired by the US wars of aggression and imperialism, considering how political ATLA is (and why it was so popular during its initial run - during the years that Bush lost a ton of popularity) I think if that’s what they were thinking about, that’s not great.

But for all of Avatar’s good messaging on imperialism and war, it’s still written from a white US American mindset. Well surely I’m not responsible, surely you shouldn’t imprison and abuse me, a random white girl in the States. It’s my government, which I cannot control because of two-party politics or some shit.

So first off, that’s shitty because oppression is often about systems, not individuals. Sure we need to always consider the individual experiences of people who are victimized, but the people who are benefiting from imperialism? Me? Fuck if I care if someone in El Salvador or Iraq or Chile or idk any of the countries we have meddled in, let alone from a marginalized community in the United States, hates white US Americans for what our government has done - and that’s even silly because white US citizens support our government. Like we think the institutions are sound, although sometimes we don’t support the guy in charge. We think the cops are going to help us, even though that isn’t really the case.

Why frame it about what she’s doing to the Fire Nation civilians at all? Why make Hama the villain? I don’t think they wanted her to be unsympathetic, I mean they tell her story and I don’t think anyone would conclude that it doesn’t justify her desire for revenge, but why tell this story through a victim of genocide?

Recently I saw a post by @sunkin-akh where they point out that Hama basically quotes Malcolm X:

I was literally just watching the Hama episode again and I just noticed for the first time that while forcing Katara to bloodbend she says that they must fight back against the Fire Nation (and she used this exact phrase) “by any means necessary”, which is Frantz Fanon’s phrase popularized by Malcolm X during the Civil Rights Movement (iirc). They directly compared Black liberation to Hama’s evil acts and it disgusted me.

The full context:

Hama: The choice [to use bloodbending] is not yours. The power exists. And it’s your duty to use the gifts you’ve been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture, your mother.

Katara: I know.

Hama: Then you should understand what I’m talking about. We’re the last waterbenders of the Southern Tribe, we have to fight these people whenever we can, wherever they are, with any means necessary.

I find that so appalling because it is framing resistance, specifically anti-racist resistance, as barbaric and monstrous. And given the way that Hama is portrayed at this point, about as inhuman as anyone in ATLA, that is extra gross.

Finally, after Katara defeats Hama, she is lead away by the authorities in CHAINS.

So now the FN cops are the good authorities who we’re gonna trust a SWT waterbender with? I mean she’s a villain so we’re probably not supposed to feel bad for her, like yeah sure the FN is usually bad but she’s a criminal so it’s okay that they take a POW back into custody.

No, no, no.

I know I am reading into this far more than the writers intended - but that’s kind of the point of critically engaging with media. Because shockingly writers don’t always question their choices - they are people and have implicit biases just like all of us. When those writers come from a privileged culture that has colonized the culture they are using as “inspiration” for their story, they need to be extra mindful of how they represent those people.

IV: How To Write Hama

Well, I’m not gonna talk over indigenous fans on this one on specifics, and you should read this rewrite by @kispesan​  but my thoughts generally are:

lose the horror framing it’s just not right for this context and this character

don’t frame Malcolm X as a villain because that’s nasty and racist

have Katara learn to use bloodbending in ways that she is comfortable with (and not just like once in one episode where she’s extra vengeful and the hero of the show doesn’t approve of her actions JFC) and don’t make the dark-skinned girl the only character whose special bending skill is dubious (I know she also has healing but still)

bring Hama home

have indigenous people in the writers room

Anyway, I’ve gone on wayyy too long. Let me know if I am speaking out of turn please if you feel that I am. and I’m sure I had other thoughts but if you want to read some other good pieces of Hama meta, I’ve listed some below:

post and another post by @marsreds​

this post and this post by @visibilityofcolor​

this post by @shewhotellsstories​

anyway katara is a queen and should have been allowed to heal, and hama never should have been irredeemable because if you can make iroh redeemable, if the show was going to redeem AZULA, you can make hama redeemable.

[morganaofcamelot]

Robin Hood BBC Commentary/Rant - Season 1, Episode 1 - “Will You Tolerate This?”

‘Tis the second time I’m watching the series. During my initial viewing, there were a lot of things I’ve missed, and frankly, I ignored. So I will take it step-by-step, focusing on the four main characters of the show - Robin, Marian, Guy & the Sheriff - as well as their interactions with the others. You must forgive my english, I am afraid, as it is not my first language and some things may get lost in the translation. I won’t go into much of a technical issues (camera angles, unneeded slow-mo’s, not period appropriate costumes etc, but I will mention some that caught my eye. And, expect memes and references thrown in there, cause if my life is a joke, then I will make jokes of others’ lives, too.

Fair warning: some slight cussing, I guess. Thirst over Guy of Gisborne, some distain for Marian. The usual. Enjoy, under the cut!

Oh, almost forgot! @maxkiki @antigonemorris

1.       Robin makes his heroic entrace, saving Allan A Dale. This first scene sets the tone of the series - Allan is poaching, the guardsmen are relentless and want to punish him, clever Robin has conjured a plan of smoke and mirrors. The guards actually believe that there are more than two people surrounding them. A plan that goes well, until Much opens his mouth. (I loved Much btw, but I think they sidelined him later on).

2.       Their escape and the business at the barn(?). Here, we get a better glimpse of the kind of man Robin is, the irresistible womanizer that he is, the dashing rogue! What we learn for Much is that he likes food. The daughter of the man that offered them food for labor, is taken straight out of a dance-pop music video (again, I will not go into detail, but I just had to say it, because it almost made me stop watching the first time). As Robin snogs the girl, Sarah, her father explains to Much (and us) that there’s a new sheriff in town and he is BAD. The father sees them, and goes to fight for his daughter’s honor, and Robin showcases his agility and finesse (the sword fight is silly, to say the least) and his love for flair and flirt.

3.       Locksley, at last. Sentimental Robin walks around the village, sees that the villagers are frightened. Dan Scarlett is the only one who isn’t afraid. He explains the situation even more – that Guy of Gisborne runs Robin’s estates, that he works for the sheriff, and that the punishments have been harsh for anyone stepping out of line.

4.       Fabulous Gisborne enters the scene. Nothing short of a diva, Guy of Gisborne rides into the village, inquiring about stolen flour. Now, this is where it gets interesting. Gisborne is “quiet menace” incarnate. He talks quietly, but threateningly all the same. He asks for the perpetrators, and when no one comes forth, he gives the order to take the one he had already caught back to Nottingham. This is where Robin steps in, there’s a hint that he and Gisborne know each other, but nothing more. When Robin reveals his identity, Gisborne takes it like a champ, even though he is humiliated in front of the peasants.

5.       The manor. Robin tells us that Much is a free man now. Gisborne enters the manor and welcomes Robin, saying that he ran the estate at the behest of the sheriff. Robin, for reasons unbeknownst to us, acts like a prick. Then Guy asks him about the Holy Land, and Robin replies the good old “oh, show me an argument that was ever settled with blood” and Gisborne calls him out on his bullshit, as he should. But Gisborne isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and lets slip that he has seen Robin fight, and Robin wonders ‘where?’ Where, indeed, sir Guy? Don’t stress over it, we will learn about it somewhere further down the line. Gisborne informs Robin of the sheriff’s feast, and Robin decides to lord it over Guy, saying that he will demand the prisoners to be released. Guy says, ‘I don’t get paid enough to deal with your bullshit, take it to the sheriff’ and thus ends the confrontation.

6.       ‘She’s still unmarried’. So. Robin tells Much that he will pay a visit to the old sheriff, Much wants to get some rest, although out of obligation and love towards Robin, he concedes. Robin offers the food of the feast his servants were preparing to the villagers of Locksley, to Much’s dismay. Now, Edward of Knighton, seems like a man that has lost his mind, he doesn’t recognize Robin and behold! Marian, with a bow and arrow and ringless fingers (as Robin will comment later), telling them to go to hell. Robin tries to work his charm on her – seemingly it doesn’t work. Then it’s the ‘bless you Robin for feeding us’ scene, which is kind of wholesome and cute and I don’t mind it.

7.       They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard They’re taking the sons to Nottingham.: Sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke. Remember Dan Scarlett? His sons have been arrested for stealing that flour Gisborne made a fuss about, and so they were taken to Nottingham, to await the sheriff’s judgement. Nottingham is a shitty place, by the looks of it. Robin promises he will plead their case.

8.       The BIG BAD. My boy Gisborne is pacing around the room, frustrated. The sheriff pulls a Shredder on us for a little while (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reference, because I got range) and laughs in his face because Gisborne didn’t force his claim on the manor, besides having 24 men and Robin only had Much. It’s safe to assume most of the peasants wouldn’t get involved in the fight. See, Guy is taking the high ground here. The sheriff assures him that the manor will be Gisborne’s by the end of the month. (Keith Allen is a scene stealer and he is phenomenal in this role, I love him.) The way he plays the next scene, which is the meeting of the lords of Nottinghamshire, is marvelous. He mocks them in their faces, and nobody bats an eye. Robin makes his entrance, Marian and her father are present, they exchange some ‘pleasantries’, and then Robin throws shade at the Pope (not present), and asks to abolish the taxation policies in favor of free market capitalist schemes (yes, I went there). The sheriff, being an old-fashioned chap, is pro-feudalism, and I imagine him that in modern-day, he would be a Brexit enthusiast/Trump supporter.

9.       The birds. The sheriff is upset and goes to his birds to find some peace. Oh, I thought, he loves animals, there’s a redeeming quality! Oops, he accidentally crushed a bird. Nevermind

10.   Marian & Robin creep me out, part I: Marian asks Robin to drop by her house after midnight, because the house is being ‘watched’. Robin goes into insta-flirting mode, hitting on her, which she likes, despite what she says. (and question: Robin was gone for five years (Marian tells us), the betrothal happened when Marian was sixteen, but people say she is supposed to be nineteen at the start of the series(!) Was Marian fourteen when she got betrothed to Robin, and Robin was like, twenty-five, I guess? Not creepy at all.)

11.   Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming: Robin interviews the flour thieves. We learn that the punishment is for them to hang. Allan A Dale lied to get an audience with Robin, only to learn that his lies would lead him to the hangman’s noose.

12.   The Sheriff owns Robin. Oh, the shade! The sheriff is a straight up savage, one of the original gangsta’s of medieval England. My boy Gisborne is in the back, doing what Gisborne does best; looking hot in leather. Marian walks in and smirking, my boy Gisborne steals her away.

13.   Grow up, Robin. Alright, next scene. (Obviously one of those shot into broad daylight, but made it look like nighttime) Robin and Much visit Knighton and Marian tells them to step in, because they will be seen. Robin decides to be a snarky, jealous bitch. Edward of Knighton explains how the new sheriff got in power, and begs him to play the long game, which we know that Robin won’t do, because Robin is, as Robin does. But he thinks on it.

14.   The hanging #1. Robin walks amongst the peasants, inconsolable. The sheriff and Gisborne come to the courtyard, and commence with the hanging. The sheriff has Much, to prevent Robin interfering with the punishment. A “clergyman” asks for the prisoners to be released and let join the Church. Robin smirks, which means it is his plan. The sheriff’s not buying it. The drum rolls…and the stools gets kicked. Robin goes into Avatar state and starts kicking butt, freeing the prisoners, whilst the whole castle watches and does nothing, before the prisoners are free. Silly battle ensues, Robin saves Much by throwing his sword. A bowman is aiming at Robin, but doesn’t fire. Marian does her ninja trick, saving Robin’s life. My boy Gisborne relishes the fact that the manor will now belong to him.

15.   The gang escapes and makes it into Sherwood where they are ambushed by Little John and his twenty men, who in later episodes disappear.

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Realm of Ash by Tasha Suri

Summary:  The fate of an empire rests in the hands of a young woman with magical blood and nothing left to lose, and an outcast prince determined to save his family at any cost, in this "dark, melodious, and memorable" new fantasy (Library Journal, starred review) from the author of the award-winning Empire of Sand.

The Ambhan Empire is crumbling. A terrible war of succession hovers on the horizon. The only hope for peace lies in the mysterious realm of ash, where mortals can find what they seek in the echoes of their ancestors' dreams. But to walk there requires a steep price.

Arwa is determined to make the journey. Widowed by a brutal massacre, she's pledged service to the royal family and will see that pledge through to the end. She never expected to be joined by Zahir, the disgraced, illegitimate prince who has turned to forbidden magic in a desperate bid to save those he loves.

Together, they'll walk the bloody path of their shared past. And it will call into question everything they've ever believed...including whether the Empire is worth saving at all. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Overall: Realm of Ash is a great follow-up to Empire of Sand, where we follow Arwa who was introduced briefly in Empire of Sand. There is quite a bit of political intrigue in the first half which sets the pacing a bit slow but picks up quickly once the characters go through big revelations. The characters and their motivations draw you in, and overall it was a good read!

~Check out our spoiler Full Review Below

A QUICK SUMMARY: 

So, this book picks up twelve years later from where we last visited this world in Empire of Sand. In this book, we are following the story of a once minor character, Mehr’s little sister, Arwa. Arwa has grown and married and been widowed when we meet her again. She is on her way to a widows hermitage where she is to live out the rest of her days in mourning, after losing her husband. 

Since the Maha’s death, this world had descended into chaos. The daiva, aka, eternal spirits, aka CHILDREN OF THE GODS, have been wreaking a bit of havoc on the world. If you remember, the Maha was manipulating the dreams of the Gods to favour the kingdom. When he was defeated, those dreams had begun to take their natural course. With dreams come nightmares. And those nightmares have taken form. BUT. The daiva protect their own blood, which is the Amrithi people. Arwa is half Amrithi, but she isn’t sure if the daiva are there to protect or hurt her. In addition, her mother (aka stepmom) raises her believing that Amrithi are cursed and savages, and essentially taught her to hate herself. 

In the widow’s hermitage, she meets an influential widow, Gulshera, and realizes she has connections to the imperial family and because Arwa doesn’t care about anything she offers herself up as a tool to the royals. So, Gulshera takes Arwa to serve under Princess Jihan, we’re subjected to court politics and meet Prince Zahir, aka a bastard. Together, Arwa and Zahir work together to find the Maha in the Realm of Ash (essentially a spirit world) so they can unlock a way to save the empire from ruin. Princess Jihan turns around and essentially implies that she sent Arwa to Zahir to ‘PLEASE’ him in an INTIMATE fashion. Arwa doesn’t take it and gets mad but Zahir isn’t here for it and it’s smooth sailing again. 

During a trip into the Realm of Ash Arwa realizes the truth behind her Amrithi blood and the Maha’s crimes and shares it with Zahir. They both struggle, Arwa being staunchly anti-empire and Zahir trying to do something to prove his worth to his sister. When the emperor dies, he names Zahir as the Maha’s heir and Jihan’s older brother Prince Akhtar as Emperor. A few murders later, a different Emperor sits on the throne and Zahir has a bounty on his head. Zahir and Arwa use the aid of a secret women’s society Zahir’s mom was a part of to escape to where the Maha was stationed to find the secret to the empire’s success, discovering cursed towns, ghosts from their pasts, and their feelings for one another. 

The Good:

→ Zahir

Kae:  So ZAHIR! I love him. He is as kind as a kitten. As sweet as an apple pie. But because he is a bastard, he is hidden away in tombs that were converted to be his rooms. There, he does research on how to restore peace and order to the Empire. He knows his days are numbered, being the bastard son of the Emperor, so he is essentially doing research to bargain his own life. Besides that, he genuinely likes learning and spent the majority of his days doing that anyway before he was banished to the tombs to live in secret. 

When we first meet Zahir, he is studying by candlelight in his rooms. Arwa finds a bit of power in him not noticing her, and takes the time to watch him for a moment. She thinks he’s handsome with his ‘pretty face’ and sharp, slender form. She’s like “damn he’s kinda hot… but I'm a widow… I’m not allowed to think boys are hot anymore.” But alas, she thinks he handsome. So they assess each other for a moment and agree to be apprentice and teacher.. Zahir gives Arwa poems and books to read that will help her better understand about the Realm of Ash and what he is working on. 

Geena: Arwa wears a veil for 90% of the book because such is the way of the widow, so she makes a point to stare at Zahir through her veil because she knows he can’t see her checking him out. And this boy turns around and hands her poetry, the more we learn about the nocturnal prince the more you realize he’s such a Soft Boi™ who loves literature and wants to desperately prove that his life has worth. His mother was killed because she tried to give the Emperor some advice, and the Empire of Ambha drinks the ‘women aren’t shit’ juice so she was labelled a traitor and murdered. Zahir only survives because Princess Jihan loves him, and as a legitimate spoiled princess she has to be pampered. Zahir has the ability to study and work with magic, because his mother was part of a secret women’s society that did so and it was passed onto him, so he’s been tasked with figuring out a way to stop the Empire’s decline ever since the Maha died. 

His character made me sad a little bit, because he feels like he should have died with his mother to some extent. And Jihan has led him to believe that his life being worth something depends solely on the fact if he can find the Maha’s spirit and save the empire. He’s treated like trash by everyone else because he’s a bastard and into witchcraft, even Arwa thinks he’s a weirdo in the beginning. But he’s such a kind-hearted soul?? Who btw respects women, when Arwa accuses him of tryna sleep with her, Zahir is like “MA’AM, I RESPECT YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART IDK WHAT SHIT MY SISTERS BEEN DRINKING BUT I WOULD NEVER!” well, he’s less dramatic than that but yea he suggests laying out rules so they don’t cross the apprentice/teacher dynamic. Also, during one trip into the Realm of Ash and Arwa’s veil comes off and she literally snaps at him to not look at her face (bc it is not the widow way) he straight up doesn’t look at her face ever for a good portion of the book after that skfjdf.  

Kae: YEH HE JUST LOOKS AT HER HANDS. SOFTIE. I LOVE HIM. 

Geena: Hand fetish IM JOKING… BUT SNDKFJDNST THAT’S ALL I COULD IMAGINE.. Arwa was like “Man, my veils off but this boy is still looking at my HANDS” 

The Bad:

→ Gulshera and the Royals

Kae: Gulshera! Ohh, she made me mad at the end. But like, I get it, ya know? So Gulshera, our bow-wielding widow, was Princess Jihan’s nursemaid and confidant. So when Gulshera finds out Arwa is Amrithi (because Arwa got caught trying to rid the Hermitage of daiva) she basically goes to Arwa like “You know you gotta get up outta here right? You can’t stay here, shawty.” But she gives Arwa the option of possibly going to the Empire and devoting herself to the Princess and her cause for solving the Empires bad luck. So Arwa goes, meets Zahir, yada yada yada. 

Gulshera asks Arwa very vague questions about what she’s doing but doesn’t exactly want to know what Arwa is doing. She just a lil nosey. So after a while, the Emperor dies and the named prince is killed by his brother. Zahir is next and he and Arwa escape. Eventually, they are found in the desert where Gulshera shoots the shit out of Arwa’s shoulder. It’s such a bad blow that Arwa is pretty much bleeding out. I was like, yo what the FUCK GULSHERA. 

Geena: YEA LIKE SHE PRETENDS TO BE HER ALLY AND CARE FOR HER BUT TURNS AROUND AND IS LIKE “SORRY BABES IMPERIALISM ALWAYS WINS” 

Kae: AND THAT’S THE TEA BAYBEEEEEE. IT was such bullshit. But again, I get it. Gulshera is like “It’s either me or you… And I raised the princess so imma do what she says and also I knew her longer soooo…. Bye Arwa. This will haunt me for the rest of my days… but it be like that.” 

Geena: Kae covered Gulshera really well! But yea she was a stank old lady in the end, like you’re essentially the reason Arwa is where she is but you’re acting like you had nothing to do with anything. BUT N E WAYS, I’m gonna talk about Princess Jihan a lil bit because she annoyed me too. She was privileged and used Arwa like a ragdoll, actually not even just Arwa but her brother she claimed to love too. Jihan really guilt-tripped the FUCK out of Zahir being all “Did I save you from nothing? Do I deal with other’s scrutiny for nothing? Prove your worth to me brother, prove that I’ve placed my love in the right man” and I was like……  bitch…. She might have been a princess but she was the queen of emotional manipulation. Also, she claimed to be for the women but essentially told Arwa that one of her jobs was to fuck Zahir and like…. Hello….. What is wrong with you. 

OH AND ANOTHER THING… when it’s revealed that the Maha used Amrithi people to shape the Empire’s success, and Zahir confronts Jihan about this she’s like “Yea, and?” like she saw no problem in using a group of people and villainizing them in the same breath…  Imperialism is a hell of a drug 

The Ugly:  

→ The Nightmare

Kae: So the Nightmare was truly… A nightmare. 

When we first learn about how Arwa became a widow, we learn about an incident that took place at a military base called Darez Fort. Darez Fort is where Arwa stayed with her husband, Kamran. We learn some soldiers come back with what they think is a Daiva, trapped in a little cage/crate thing. When they open it up, it appears to be a childlike creature. But it soon reveals a face of white bone and attacks everyone in the fort. The Nightmare makes the men turn on each other as well and it’s quite literally a blood bath. Everyone is dead. The maids, the cooks, the soldiers, and Kamran. All killed. BUT THERE IS A DAIVA THERE. It’s Arwa’s litter guardian angel. She knows her blood protects her, so in a panic, she makes this big ass cut on her arm and surrounds herself with her blood. The Daiva protects her from the Nightmare and she is the only survivor of Darez Fort. 

The Nightmare leaves a sense of fear in Arwa that literally makes her shake. She can kind of sense when it’s near. So on her journey with Zahir and a guards woman named Eshara, they end up at another fort for a rest. Some soldiers are ordered by this mean ass general to stay inside the fort because they aren’t allowed to leave. This is when Arwa gets that chilling sense of fear as she did in Darez Fort. SOME EVIL SHIT IS AFOOT. 

Geena: Yesss, the nightmares are like anti-daiva essentially. I really liked their concept and how they factored in with the worldbuilding. What makes them terrifying is that the Maha spent how many centuries fending off nightmares by using Amrithi, but suddenly without him to control how gods dream, nightmares are flooding the empire. Arwa manages to defeat the nightmares by unlocking the memories of her past ancestors from the Realm of Ash and crudely dancing a rite that locks nightmares in cages. Along with Zahir, Arwa figures out that nightmares consider themselves some sort of god and love to be worshipped. Both Zahir and Arwa decide that the empire can rot, and the nightmares can do what they want but they’ll teach anyone with amrithi blood to dance the rite and worship the nightmares to prevent any more massacres like Darez Fort.

→ Maha

Geena: God….. This stankass wrinkly-ass bitchboy really sunk his claws so deep into the Ambhan people that after he died, he was thought to be a martyr. Like 12 years after his death and people still worship him, and mourn his death? Mehr and Amun went through so much to end his reign of terror yet the empire continued to worship him. I’m sure they didn’t have the time or power to go around and spread the truth behind the Maha’s work but good LORD was it grating to read people missing that disgusting man. But thinking back on it, even if Amun and Mehr had exposed him… would people have believed an Amrithi couple that killed their beloved Maha? They probably would’ve killed them instead :(

Though, this was an interesting detail that Tasha Suri included. That, despite the evil being defeated, people will refuse to acknowledge it as evil and continue to point fingers at marginalized people for the problems caused by the evil being. 

The Awesome:

→ Arwa and Mehr

Kae: If y’all could see me now, you would see me doing a little dance because BIIIIITCH. I WAS LIVIIIIING SOLELY FOR MEHR AND ARWA TO MEET UP AGAIN. EVERY PAGE I WAS LIKE “is Arwa gonna talk about Mehr? Does she miss her sister?” AND SHE DID SOMETIMES AND I LOVED IT. AND THEN ARWA SAID SHE WAS TOLD HER SISTER HAD DIED AND I WAS LIKE NOOOOO. SHE IS ALIVE, ARWA. SHE IS ALIIIIVE. 

So when Arwa was in the Realm of Ash, she had seen Mehr and was SHOOK. Because you can only see dead relatives in the Real of Ash. So she actively avoided Mehr in the Realm because it hurt too much to see her there. It just confirmed that her sister was dead. And even I was confused because I was like “Ummm, Tasha… I know you didn’t kill off my girl after she done went through all that shit.” So I started thinking…. Because in the Realm of Ash, you saw the dead as grey ash. Shadows. But she saw Mehr in colour and full of life. So I had this theory that since Mehr has Amata (Amrithi spiritual magic closer to the ancestors) that she was seeing Mehr in the realm because of how close Mehr’s amata was so the ancestors and daiva. 

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT BITCH? MEEEEEE. I CALLED THAT SHIT. IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. So like, as Arwa is dying from that arrow bitchass GUlshera shot her with, she ventures into the Realm and see’s Mehr again. She calls out to her, and Mehr sees her. She promises to find her. 

When Zahir and Arwa escape from his sister’s claws, the daiva take them out into the desert. Mehr eventually finds them and brings them back to her home. When Arwa wakes up, she is greeted by Mehr bandaging her up. They cry and hug. I CRY BECAUSE I’M SO DAMN HAPPY. I LOVE A GOOD REUNION. MEHR LOVED ARWA SO MUCH AND ARWA LOVED MEHR. AND THEY WERE SEPERATED AND HADN’T EVEN KNOWN THE OTHER WAS STILL ALIVE. AND THERE THEY WERE. TOGETHER. AND ALIVE AND HUGGING AND CRYING. It was beautiful. I was like, ugly crying. So thank you, Tasha. Thank you for writing that scene so well because it was happy and emotional and they both deserved to see each other again. It will go down as one of my top 5 reunion scenes. 

I’d also like to say, unrelated to Mehr-- That Awra and Zahir did admit their love for each other and kissed. And Zahir was Arwa’s, and Arwa was Zahir’s, though they made it clear that they belonged to no one. They belonged to each other. And their love was so soft and built on mutual respect. They were both very lonely and longed for one another, but never pursued because Arwa didn’t want to break the honour code of the “widows way” or whatever, and Zahir didn’t want to disrespect her. BUT THEIR MINDS. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. So they both finally gave in. And it was lovely. 

Geena: ugghh yess, Arwa and Zahir’s relationship was based on mutual respect and love (just like Mehr and Amun!). In both instances, people forced them together but it was only through their own agency that they fell in love with one another, and support each other wholeheartedly. 

ALSO, THE REUNION KSJNFKSJF I had a suspicion that Mehr was alive too based on everything that Kae mentioned too! So, when Mehr says to Arwa that she’ll come for her I sCREAMED!!!! I loved it so much, them crying in each other’s arms… Arwa seeing Mehr’s own kid… LIKE HELLO??? 

Kae: AND TASH SAID HER AND AMUN COULDN’T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE OF THE RITES SO I WAS SHOOK AND HAPPY AND OMG. literally SCREAMING. 

Geena: YEA I REMEMBER THAT, BUT THEN I ALSO REMEMBERED YOUR THEORY! Where the Maha had said that people that danced the rite couldn’t have children because he tried to impregnate amrithi women he enslaved but it didn’t work… and Kae you’d said it was probably because he was shooting dust and YOU WERE RIGHT!!!

Kae: IT’S MY SUPERPOWER. IM TELLING YOU. I CAN GUESS THE SHIT OUT OF SHIT. 

Geena: KJDSFNKSDJF I LOVE YOUR SUPERPOWER!!! My only complaint was that we didn’t get a longer scene with Mehr/Amun and Arwa/Zahir bonding :( I wanted mooorreee… other than that it was everything! 

Conclusion

Geena: TO CONCLUDE! Tasha Suri didn’t disappoint with this sequel… and it’s so easy to write a shitty sequel but she was like nAH WE’RE NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE. And we loved it! There was a slow start as we read Arwa struggling with her internalized hate, but after she realized that she came from a people who have survived in Ambha in the face of adversity the book sped up real fast. The romance was so soft and wholesome and everything that we want in a relationship, Tasha knows EXACTLY what she’s doing when she’s writing romance. I don’t trust anyone else with a romance this soft, and I cannot wait to read her upcoming series that feature a wlw couple.  

Kae: GEENA SAID IT ALL. Tasha knows how to write a romance. I love soft boi’s that will also murder a man for you if need me. LIKE YAAAS HE’S SENSITIVE AND RESPECTS ME AND WILL BEAT SOMEONE'S ASS FOR ME. WE LOVE TO SEE IT. Honestly though, overall, this was such a stunning sequel. Because Geena and I have read some sequels that were…. How to say this nicely… fucking terrible. Tasha is a phenomenal writer and I know her upcoming series will be great too! This book was full of lessons. One being, SELF HATRED IS FUCKING TRASH. SO LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR RICH BACKGROUND. BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK DOWN ON YOU  FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COMF FROM SOMETIMES, AND YOU JUST GOTTA SAY FUCK ‘EM AND KEEP IT MOVING. 

Geena: JKSNFKJSNDSKJF YAAAS, ALSO IK IT WAS BRIEF BUT LIKE DAMN… TASHA REALLY WENT HARD WITH THE AMRITHI IN THIS BOOK AND HOOBOY… Like the insights into past ancestors? And the fact that there are so many mixed Amrithi people that have been forced to hide their heritage… once again…  I M P E R I A L I S M and G E N O C I D E… this series covered it pretty well… PLEASE READ AND SUPPORT TASHA 

[amandabe11man]

a VERY LONG post about Hell on Wheels

YEAH i forgot about this post in my drafts... it’s been like a year since i finished the show now and i feel i’ve barfed everything out into this post (that i can think of), so here it goes (you’ll have to shield your eyes after the spoiler warning if you don’t wanna be spoiled btw. i can’t seem to be able to add a read more-link...) :

SO... i finished watching “hell on wheels” at last, pm half a year since i started. it’s funny because i was under the impression that i’d sOMEHOW be able to binge all five seasons within just one month (reason: i wanted to watch it before my free trial on HBO’s website went out). honestly, that wouldn’t have been possible because it was a LOT more emotionally draining than you’d think at first glance... after being gutpunched three times in a row in season 4, any reasonable human would need a little break.

anyway, it feels-- weird. i’ve never been big on following tv-shows so i haven’t been able to relate to that feeling ppl describe once they’ve finished a show they’ve become so attached to, except NOW i can relate. the show’s not groundbreaking, it’s not perfect, but i’ve had a lot of fun. what a ride it’s been...

looking back, i’d say HOW’s biggest weakness is its tendency to forget or ignore certain plot points. i guess that’s not too weird, with such an arsenal of characters, but still, i find that’s what bugged me the most, if anything bugged me at all. for example--

[SPOILERS for those who might wanna watch it after seeing me go on abt it, idk]:

first off, what REALLY grinds my gears is how ezra dutson’s plotline was handled. it was set up perfectly in the beginning; having him escape from the swede (who promised him that, and i quote: “i’ll find you, ezra! i always do”), the original plan was obviously for ezra and the swede to “reunite” some time in the future so that ezra could tell everyone that the swede killed his parents, thus tying up loose ends and giving some closure to that whole arc. some might say this would’ve been too predictable, but i would rather have that predictable storyline than having it just end unceremoniously like it did, with ezra dying ACCIDENTALLY and off-screen by sidney snow’s hand, simply as a way to further bohannon’s pain and set the stage for ruth’s final arc. this might’ve been fine, if the writers had made it so that ezra actually, y’know, TOLD SOMEONE WHY HE’S AN ORPHAN TO BEGIN WITH. but they didn’t even give the viewer that form of closure, instead just deciding to use him as a plot device for the other characters’ increased angst... bohannon and the others were never even made aware of ezra’s last name, and this is all what bugs the everliving SHIT outta me: the only ones who know, or will EVER know, ezra’s full story is the swede and the viewer, tho after season 4′s end, ezra is never mentioned or acknowledged again-- not by bohannon, and not even by the swede. ezra went from convenient character with a PURPOSE to “nameless” orphan forgotten by history. thanks, writers...

then there’s the whole deal with campbell coming to town to reinforce The Law™, which wasn’t a bad arc, mind you-- campbell and his goons were the most infuriating little shits for a while there-- but the thing is; didn’t campbell LIE to his men about the president giving him the position as governor? i might’ve misunderstood it, but i’m PRETTY sure the president didn’t give him THAT much of an upstanding role, but that campbell just went ahead and took that position anyway? if that was indeed the case, then that’s another plot hole, cause nobody finds out about campbell’s possible trickery to become the governor. nobody rats him out, despite literally no one in “his” town liking him all that much, so they’d have no reason to protect his “secret”. (correct me if i’m wrong on this one though. i might be misremembering things)

then there’s the other pretty infuriating issue of bad guys never getting called out for doing bad shit (unless it’s the swede, who gets all the blame, all the time), for example:

major dick bongbendix(???idk he had a silly name like that) is presented VERY MUCH as a bad guy in the beginning. y’know, just casually beheading natives on all his missions and collecting those heads and taking them to the bar like a fucking nutcase-- those little details. he also seemed to believe in racial biology, so yeah, definitely not a good guy. but by the end, he’s been watered down into some quirky guy who’s ALMOST on friendly terms with the main characters. yeah, uh-- seems everyone (writers included) collectively forgot the whole public display of cut-off heads he had going on...

aaron hatch: started off as a guy too proud for his- or his family’s own good when he shot the police officer, BLAMED IT ON HIS FUCKING SON and then just kinda let bohannon hang the kid even though it was pretty obvious hatch was just shifting the blame away from himself. THEN he reappears with some other mormons and causes a full-on shootout in the town (probably getting some people killed, i don’t remember), TAKES EZRA (also a mormon) HOSTAGE SO THAT BOHANNON WILL COME WITH THEM WILLINGLY and passive aggressively forces bohannon to marry his daughter who bohannon knocked up. somewhere along the line, hatch’s bad side is just thrown to the wind, and bohannon at one point describes him as “a good man”. yeah, ABOUT THAT--

sean and mickey mcginnes: unlike the ones mentioned above, these two started out as seemingly decent dudes, but ended up pm as secondary villains in the end. however, like the ones mentioned above, they hardly face any consequences for whatever crap it was they did in boston, OR the fact that they killed and fucking mutilated/dismembered a man in cold blood (a man who WAS gonna kill them, yes, but HE did it because he thought they had killed his friend, which wasn’t a farfetched idea since mickey DID brag about killing the dude even though he didn’t actually do it). sure, they face their OWN demons as time goes on, they get ostracized, and they start losing faith in each other as well, which ends up with mickey killing sean before the latter can confess(?) his/their crimes. so, while sean was spineless and a creep, at least he thought about finally owning up to what he’d done in the end, whereas mickey lives on to keep doing shady shit, killing people, and getting increasingly more corrupt. he does end up pursuing new goals in the end, but it’s obvious he’s not happy about it anymore. that’s-- really all the comeuppance he ever gets, and the only one who knows about his shady businesses are pm just bohannon, durant and eva (also, personal gripe here-- they seemed to not settle for “just” tarring and feathering the swede and publicly humiliating him, but i’m pretty sure i recall mickey telling bohannon they were thinking about having the swede killed too. keep in mind, this was BEFORE the swede truly lost it and started killing people left and right. apparently, being kind of a douche about taxes is bad enough to warrant being tortured and cast out by the entire community... i’m obviously biased here, but still-- the mcginnes bros’ double standards are amazing to behold)

now that i’ve aired some of that out-- here are some highlights, according to me:

unexpected friendships, like that between eva and durant. i’d say the swede finding that stray dog and fawning all over him qualifies into this category too

durant and campbell fighting in the mud before finally coming to an agreement -- just- durant and his competitors being petty as fuck, honestly. it’s hilarious

bohannon trying to get through to elam by reminiscing about their friendship, especially since bohannon isn’t one to show his feelings often OR get sappy -- in fact, EVERY time bohannon loses his stoic facade is a good moment. when he was gonna bury elam and he just broke down completely for the first time since we were introduced to him... that shit had me in tears as well, but man was it a great scene

jimmy two-squaws

every time the swede opens his mouth (yes, even when he’s spouting some lies and bullshit like that)

ruth’s character development. i admit i didn’t like her at all in the beginning, idk something just felt off about her, but man did she ever grow on me. just-- how everyone kinda relied on her eventually, even though she’s only like in her 20′s or something... she still became a pillar of the community. bless ya, ruth :’ı -- also, her essentially adopting ezra was Pure as heck. I Lov it

the fact that this was the 1800′s and the only backlash the (openly) LGBT characters faced for it was pm just “yeah they’re a bit confused maybe but they’re not hurting anyone”. maybe that’s not very realistic but WHO GIVES A SHIT AMIRITE

mr tao just being a sweet old man

chang’s sunglasses, straight out of Django Unchained

mr toole’s complete heel-turn from racist POS to someone who sticks by his word to turn himself around. that shit was impressive coming from him, tbh

bohannon just calmly running into a buffalo by the train tracks

mei posing as a grown man instead of a boy (which is what she looks and sounds like, oml)

another thing i realized is that bohannon is a classic gary stu. there’s just no getting around that fact after seeing him being revered by most everyone he meets, how he’s somehow the only person able to build the railroad(s) fast and efficiently, and even wooing the literal PRESIDENT and becoming close friends with him-- all this despite his Bold and Brash personality. of course, there’s more to bohannon than these gary stu-symptoms, but i felt someone should bring it up, for the lulz

[dolphiana]

People’s statements concerning Corona...

You know what time it is? Rant time! Because I spent waaaay too much time on Facebook and Twitter and read SO much ( excuse my words ) bullshit, that I need to talk about it. A disturbing amount of people still think this whole Corona mess is fake, a conspiracy, „just a flu“ or a bioweapon attack. Of course a random Youtuber, influencer or guy on Twitter is smarter than all scientists, doctors and politicians combined because they „woke up and see through everything that happens“ right now.

I guess they inhaled too much toxin while making their tinfoil hats, but let's take a closer look at those statements.

- „Corona is fake, people are not dying from it, they die from the panic that is caused!“

So hundreds, no, thousands of people are suffocating and their lungs are giving up because of media information? They hear that they are not allowed to go shopping at the mall anymore and gasp for air? They realize that restaurants are closed and that they have to cook meals themselves now and drop dead from the shock? Seriously?

- „It's a conspiracy, THEY want to control us, THEY want to change the system and distract from other things!“ None of those morons ever mentions who exactly THEY are. Lizard people? Illuminati? Toilet paper manufacturers? We'll never know.

Anyway, someone who seriously thinks that should think further. Why should THEY do this? The global economy is crashing, borders are closed, tens or hundreds of thousands have or will lose their jobs, people have to stay at home, governments have to invest billions to save their countries. Newsflash, governments usually want to earn money, not spend it.

More unemployment = less tax revenues.

Basically it's like someone usually earning $2000 per month, then suddenly they have to pay high bills for their broken car, get a new computer to continue working and help their sick parents while suddenly only earning half of their income.

And seriously, can you imagine all leaders of the world sitting down on one table in a secret Fortress of Evil and scheming a plan to terrorize and enslave humanity? Most of them only care for their own country and why would anyone risk driving their own country against the wall?

- „It's just a flu, lots of people die from the flu, it's normal.“ The flu  doesn't affect the lungs that badly and people's bodies often simply give up and they die at home. Corona directly attacks the lungs and many of those who catch it badly need to be taken to intensive care unit and be intubated. It's way more contagious than the flu and the dangerous part is that most people will never know they actually had it, but ran around and infected others who could die from it. The death rate is higher than the flu. Flu : roughly 0,1% Corona : 2-10% ( Numbers vary from source to source, but it's definitely higher than the flu. )

- „In Germany 25000 people died from it in 2017/2018, the country didn't shut down because of that either.“

I checked those numbers. 25000 is a rough estimation, including deaths where flu was assumed to be involved in the deaths. The cases that were actually tested and proven were less than 1700.

By the way, a flu season lasts 5 months and the Corona craze merely started a few weeks ago. Just saying.

The main problem here seems to be that people can't think ahead. Exponential increase is too complicated for their simple little minds. Corona spreads like crazy, so with the aforementioned higher death rate, if more people get infected then more will die. The only reason we don't have more deaths yet is because governments took action and everyone tries to keep the number of infections low.

So what do you want? Every country waiting for the number of Corona deaths to surpass those of the average flu first and only then starting to do something against it? I'm convinced those people would be the first ones to scream „Why did no one do anything sooner!?“

-“It's a bio weapon from China which they used against us!“ Nevermind the fact that a team of international and independent scientists examined the virus last month already and assured it's natural. Even if it spread from the Wuhan Institute of Virology accidentally, that's what it was, an accident. Why on Earth would they want to endanger their own people? Their economy? Everything?

-“The average age of the Italian people who died from Corona is 79. The average lifespan there is 83. It's all normal, nature and such.“ Wow, just...wow. I wonder if they would still be as cold and heartless when their own parents or grandparents died a painful death from lack of air. „Well, sorry, Mom, you're 67, no one lives forever.“ Average means that there are older and younger people. Some are in their 90s, 80s, 70s, but some also are far younger than that. My grandma, for example, is 93 and still pretty healthy for her age. Someone who died because of Corona in their 70s could have lived for another decade or two.

-“There's only a risk for old and sick people, I'm young and healthy so I don't care. Survival of the fittest. I still wanna go out and have fun!“ Oh, so you risk the health/life of your parents, grandparents and lots of others just because you can't keep your damn ass on the couch? Survival of the fittest, natural selection....you're lucky that intelligence and empathy don't have anything to do with it or you'd be screaming bloody murder and begging for someone to finally end your suffering already.

Btw, there are numerous cases of young people ( we're talking around age 30 here ), who never smoked, are athletic and never had any health problems.

-“Corona is the revenge for those old white people causing climate change!“ Does anyone else get the urge to slap those who seriously said that? I do. Those old white people are your and your friends' parents and grandparents! The people who worked all day to afford your lifestyle, to buy you smartphones, computers and nice clothes, put food on your table, drove you around the town, took you on vacation, spoiled your ungrateful asses! For months young people went on the streets demonstrating for change, for realization what's happening around us, for actions. And now many of them ( not all of course ) prove that all they care about is themselves and that they're not an inkling better or even much worse than the „old white people“ they see as the ultimate enemy.

-“I keep hearing about hospitals being overcrowded, that's new, never was a problem before so why is everyone locked at home now?“ You probably lived under a rock for the past years, but hospitals are understaffed everywhere. Keep in mind that there are not only Corona patients needing medical help or a bed at the intensive care unit. Think of all the other reasons why someone needs to be at the hospital. Illnesses, cancer, tumors, heart attacks, strokes, pregnancy, broken bones and the normal flu. Those don't suddenly stop because Corona showed up. If hospitals are overcrowded because of Corona patients then people who have something not Corona-related will also be in danger because if they don't get the medical help they need then they could die as well.

Imagine you or someone close to you has a car accident and there's no hospital that can give the help which is needed, resulting in death. Taking the situation more serious now? China didn't quickly build 16 emergency hospitals just for fun.

There's probably more I wanted to mention, but I guess this journal is long enough already. To anyone who read it, thank you. Please feel free to use this against everyone who still doesn't take this situation seriously.

Be safe, everyone. We're in this together. *virtual hugs*

[skepticaloccultist]

The St Cyprian Scholar

An interview with José Leitão.

José Leitão is an author and scholar as well as a Portuguese Saint Cyprian devotee. Besides a PhD in experimental physics from the University of Delft, the Netherlands, his current research focuses on using ethnographic and folkloric methodologies to map the concepts of folk magic, sorcery, and witchcraft as described in the records of the Portuguese Inquisition.

The translator of "The Book of St Cyprian: The Sorcerer's Treasure", and the Bibliotheca Valenciana", both on Hadean Press as well as his collection of Portuguese folk tales related to the Cyprian Book "The Immaterial Book of St Cyprian" on Revelore Press and numerous articles he is developing a considerable body of Portuguese language works translated for the first time into English.

In my travels to Portugal for field research I cross paths with José in the university town of Coimbra, where he is currently conducting research. Over a handful of coffees I managed to get him to give me an interview about his work and research. He is almost as much of a recluse as I am!

  +++

For a man with a background in physics you are making a considerable mark on the history of occult literature in the early 21st century. Is there some long term plan or are you more of the wandering academic/perpetual scholar type?

Let’s not start making history before it happens… you’re not the only skeptic around here. From what I’ve observed occult literature shifts its focus often and in unpredictable ways. I may yet be a one hit wonder.

That being said, I suppose it might be a bit of both, or perhaps neither… at least in regards to my written material. To be honest I had no plan behind my first book, it was something that just kind of happened due to a number of circumstances in my life and at the time I really didn’t think I would be writing anything else besides that.

It’s hard for me to describe this in detail at this point, because it’s difficult to tell what where my genuine feelings then or what are later rationalizations. The fact that I have a physics PhD is largely circumstantial, it barely has anything to do with anything I’m doing right now and I’ve turned my back on that world probably permanently. There’s likely no real point in going into details here, but after a very long time in that world I simply came to the realization that that life was not conducive to my happiness; a reflection which was very much aided by my work and translation of The Book of St. Cyprian. Once I figured that out I started doing everything I could to walk away from where I was, and that’s what I’m still doing. So, it’s not so much about being a wandering or perpetual academic, it’s really about the path of least emotional resistance and unpleasantness at this point.

But, of course, I could have chosen to go down the purely ‘practitioner’ way, but I chose academia instead. I’ve also come to realize that I can’t function properly outside of a university or a university-like environment, so I fully identify as an academic at this point, and indeed there is a lot of wandering involved in that.

When we talk about the myths and folklore of the people of the Iberian peninsula very little of the primary sources have made their way into English translation. Why now, what do you think is driving the growing interest in Iberian folk magic?

I think there are a number of issues at play simultaneously, and I don’t ascribe a necessarily ‘supernatural’ origin to any of them. It reads a lot like regular human geography and white people taking their heads out of their asses (btw, Iberians aren’t white; we simply think we are because we’ve always had somebody darker to compare ourselves to).

I read this as the reality that the major trendsetting countries (USA mostly) have had an increasing immigrant population from Portuguese and Spanish speaking countries for years now, but what makes this moment different is that the white people living there, due to contemporary political reasons, have started to pay them attention (and not always in the good way). This means that, right now, a lot of new concepts are being brought into cultural visibility which were exclusive to Iberian and South and Central America until very recent, not because they were hidden, but rather because no one gave a fuck.

You need to also remember that besides the long standing white disdain for anybody south of the American border, in Europe we still suffer the stigma of the Black Legend. The narratives of accepted modernity have always been historically presented, firstly, by Protestantism and, secondly, by the Enlightenment, both of which were (and are) ultimately profoundly hostile to Catholic Iberia, so the situation wasn’t (or isn’t) much better here. We have a European stigma associated with emigration and typical association with menial labor in central and north Europe. Iberians are still exotic and given to stereotyping as under educated simpletons (think Manuel from Fawlty Towers); a nice place to visit during the summer and be entertained by our quaint non-Europeaness.

So, a reappreciation of both these cultural spaces is happening right now, but I see this as happening mostly for mundane reasons. But also… regarding the Iberian aspect in itself in America… I’m going out on a limb here, so feel free to call bullshit on what follows, but I also think that there might still be some extra racism involved in this. ‘Iberian’ sounds old and ennobled; you get images ancientness, castles, knights errant, good food and wine and beautiful dancing gitana girls. For a white American, it removes the source of the practice from your immediate (brown) neighbors and places it in an old (assumed white) Iberian no one really knows anything about.

Lusitanian culture specifically is of particular interest to me personally. Remnants of pre Roman cultural ideas seem to be scattered within the larger dynamic of Portuguese culture. Do you think that forms of folk magic practice found in say the 2nd or 3rd century have continued down through the ages?

Interesting you mention the Lusitanian. One of the major (unintentional) overarching themes of my next book is actually Portuguese cultural identity, and I offer some criticism on the Lusitanian problem from a contemporary practitioner perspective.

This is really the sum of it: the identification of the Lusitanian as the par excellence pre-historical Portuguese (the Portuguese before there was Portugal) is a politically motivated construction of the Estado Novo for identity and cultural control. The Lusitanian continuity thesis was one of Vasconcelo’s babies, but this was far from being universally accepted and during its time it received very heavy criticisms, mainly from Alexandre Herculano, one of the greatest and most cursed Portuguese historians. However, due to this and other difficult issues regarding the, at times, overly romantic Portuguese historiographic tradition, Herculano was for a long time largely ignored, and Vasconcelos pretty much became the regime’s scholar of choice.

I’m not disparaging Vasconcelos, he was good at what he did, but scholars need to be given the right to be wrong. His work has, in the past, been used for sinister purposes and that shouldn’t be ignored anymore. You see, if you are a heavy paternalistic right wing clerical regime and you do a hard streamline to the Lusitanian, a people we still don’t really know that much about, as the ‘archaic’ Portuguese, you are able downplay every other major population influx into Portugal and fashion our ‘archaic’ identity in whatever way you see fit. This means that you get to downplay Neolithic dolmens and standing stones, Phoenician, Carthaginian, Greek, Roman, Jewish and Muslim/North African influences, and construct an idealized and racially pure Christian Portugal. The Lusitanian, as an identity, are essentially nothing.

But obviously I can’t say that there aren’t Lusitanian influences in what Portugal is or that this doesn’t exist in Portuguese folk magic. That would be another form of insanity, mainly because we simply don’t know what the Lusitanian did. But to isolate the Lusitanian like that is historically problematic. So… no, I don’t think 2nd or 3rd century practices are particularly visible, at least not more than Roman, Jewish or Muslim ones.

The idea of "Lusitanian" culture being used as a kind of nationalist symbol in which to rally people in support of a regime is fascinating. Years ago I studied kaballah with Lionel Ziprin in NYC and he had a whole theory about the "publicly accepted kaballah" that was presented by Gershom Scholem. How the texts that get translated and the things that are accepted as truths were part of a broader narrative meant to occlude certain aspects of historic kaballah. How involved do you think the church was in the utilization of this "Lusitanian" national identity?

That’s hard to say… one thing that also needs to be understood is that, even if the regime guided itself by Catholic morals and ideals, and the Church did draw immense social advantage from this, the Catholic hierarchy actually had very little power to influence the political decision making. Ultimately, by the accurate manipulation of words and an irreducible concordat, Salazar could instrumentalize the Church for political gain and identity and behavior control, and it ended up becoming as much a prisoner of the state as anybody else, leading to Catholic dissension in the 50s. So, probably the Church didn’t really have an active role in the utilization of the Lusitanian, it was simply another tool the regime could manipulate and fit together to selectively construct a useful identity and narrative of itself. Although I’m sure many within the religion didn’t really mind this.

In reading your "The Book of St. Cyprian: The Sorcerer's Treasure" on Hadean one concept that really interested me was this idea of the "mar Coalhado" or Curdled Sea. It struck me as both an afterlife in the model of the Norse Hel, but also some kind of purgatory or abyss. Though I have been unable to find much in English! Is this concept still common in Portuguese culture?

That’s also one of my favorite concepts, interestingly. This is something which is pretty much still in the air for me.

Ultimately, on a general or ‘global’ scale, I don’t think I can give you any actual answer to what this concept might be… or any such concept to be frank. If we’re going back in time to look for such ideas we must remember that we’re going into circumstances when the circulation of information had its limits. Most researchers tend to bypass this problem by implicitly assuming that such folk concepts are ‘ancient’ or ‘archaic’, which meant that they should have had time to spread homogeneously across large geographical areas. I tend to avoid this approach because it removes active agency and imagination from the non-contemporary, non-educated, or non-white individual practitioner. That being said, a few other scholars have noted the occurrence of mentions to the ‘Mar Coalhado’ or something of apparent equivalence in a few procedures. Most often nobody ever offers anything on it except its occurrence, but I recently ran across a particular book by a fellow Coimbra researcher called António Vitor Ribeiro, O Auto do Místicos, which seemed to shed some light on the matter. It’s a cool text, exploring ideas, descriptions and practices of mysticism in Portugal from the clerical and literary circles down to the folk and rural levels. It’s a very ambitious work, but he tend to do really clumsy simplifications and linearization via some sneaky moves using Ginzburg or Eliade, and he uses words of complex meaning and implicit significance very frivolously… I like my methodologies to be more hygienic. Anyway, in one of the many interesting Inquisition documents he finds there is a mentioning of something referred to as the ‘Aguas Salgadas’, or ‘Salty/Salted Waters’. It’s not a perfect fit, but it does seem like somewhat similar to what we’re discussing. But what’s more interesting is that this isn’t in an actual Inquisition processes and this wasn’t mentioned as part of a particular folk magic procedure.

You see, there is a secondary collection of Inquisition documentation in Portugal called the ‘Cadernos do Promotor’, or the Prosecutor’s Notebooks, collections of denunciations, confessions or observations taken by Inquisition prosecutors that never made it into actual processes. There are several reasons for this, most often no crime was actually identified for a prosecution to be mounted, and other times it was because the reports and accusations are so outlandishly bizarre that the Inquisitors couldn’t make any theological sense of them in order to determine if what was being described actually constitutes heresy.

In this case, what was being reported were apparent visions, visitations and possessions by Mouras. Thus, a woman called Maria Leamara would fall into possession ‘rolling on the ground making it quake and making great arches with her feet’, saying while in this state ‘Let us go, let us go, let us go, let us go to the burrow of the moura, let us go, let us go, let us go, let us go across the salty waters, let us go, let us go, let us go, let us go to the Boulder of the See’. Then, when questioned about what any of this meant, she would only say that ‘they’ wanted her to deny Christ, and that the ‘salty waters’ meant outside of Christianity.

This whole thing then seems very akin to an anti-world, or ante-world, particularly evident by this apparent connection with Mouras, who apparently live across the Salty Waters and potentially the Curdled Sea. If Mouras are described and interpreted as these strange being of extremely remote existence, echoes and inhabitants of a bygone time, the banishing of something to this space would be akin to banishing it to somewhere outside of creation; this cosmic-now, or Christianity as that which created and defines the cosmic order we currently inhabit.

But in truth you have a number of varieties of this type of concept all across Europe. Very common formulas for the banishing of illnesses, bad weather or evil spirits into this type of space usually go along the lines of ‘go to where no baby cries, no roster sings or no dog barks’, for example, and I do see these as being somewhat equivalent concepts, as they both seem to describe a place removed from a humanly conceived cosmos, but these punctual examples of Moura crossovers do give it a particular local flavor.

If you think about it this is actually an extremely violent form of banishing. You’re basically casting something out of creation itself (as an anthropocentric concept). I think Jonathan Roper (one of my favorite folk magic scholars) has some material on this if you’d like to look him up.

But if you want to talk about actual application… even if some people might still use this concept (and it is quite common), I don’t think that what it actually signifies really is of much concern, even if it might be understood as significant. When you’re talking about magical formulas you always need to admit that there might be an aspect of simple habit or ‘tradition’ in the use of certain words and expressions. The impulse to break down an idea like that into tangible and rational concepts is pretty much a ‘learned’ and contemporary preoccupation. In all truth, a much more common occurrence in inquisition processes and documentation is that when an accused is questioned about a particular procedure he was witnessed as using, and which apparently calls upon a variety of spirits and characters, if asked who these characters are he will most likely answer that he simply don’t know. My reading of this is that it’s not their job or preoccupation to know; the words don’t have to have a rational meaning, which is something also supported by the observation that these types of traditional magical formulas frequently use nonsensical expressions, onomatopoeias or forced alliterations. The complete understanding of every single words and expression used beyond the cultural meaning of the procedure itself as a whole is a preoccupation which is mostly non-existent in the environment where these procedures occur. Both contemporary scholars and contemporary occultists are descendants from this overly analytical mentality, and it seems to me that the first step in actually understanding these is to admit that we are ultimately alien to this form of thinking.

You brought up the ‘Cadernos do Promotor’, or the Prosecutor’s Notebooks, which seem like a massive untapped resource in the folkloric study of witchcraft belief. Do you know if these types of records are only found in Portugal? How extensive are these documents?

To be honest, I’m still pretty new to that particular database and I’m not that familiar with the bureaucratic functioning of other Inquisitions in order to answer that question. However, in terms of how extensive… I’ve counted 352 volumes, some of which are 14 centimeters thick.

These are it. The thousands of processes everybody likes to talk and fetishisize about are just the tip of the iceberg; this is the real deal. Pure, uncut, unadulterated, untortured, uninterrogated words. No leading the witness, no feeding the answers to the accused, no theological projection, no nothing; just people voluntarily and spontaneously saying the crazy shit they saw, crazy shit they did and the crazy shit that was done to them.

The amount of work needed to work this source is soul crushing, but the potential is just breathtaking. Even beyond just the information in them… I’ve only scratched the surface on these, I’ve so far mostly been reading what other people have written about the reports in the Notebooks, but the things in there are dangerous on a cognitive level.

This goes back to the whole issue of the contemporary analytic mind, you need to remember that this is a window into a whole cosmology, worldview, understanding and interaction with the universe we simply don’t understand and are irreducibly alien to. Reading a few snippets has been enough for me to start to question reality… the ease and apparent normality which some things are described is just disturbing. And it gets Lovecraftian at the drop of a nickel… like ‘I was making a sandwich when all the sudden a door opened on the dark corner of my room. A Mouro with a red hat and shiny shoes walked out and lead me into a palace where the other Mouros were dancing and I met the Virgin Mary, who had the face of a monkey, her sister Saint Quiteria and King Sebastian and his five children. This has been happening every night and my husband complains that he wakes up when the Mouro takes me away during the night’… it’s stuff at this level and worst (or better).

With your recent complete translation of Jerónimo Cortez's "Bibliotheca Valenciana" you break into a realm of seeing and understanding the cosmological context in which much of the Cyprian magical traditions are rooted. A point before hard science, where the role of magician/scholar/alchemist merge and formed a kind of proto-scientist. What in Cortez's opus do you see as the most valuable content for those trying to understand the context of Cyprianic magic and early modern Iberian cultural beliefs in general?

Well… there’s a point in your question I can’t let slide. There is no such thing as a ‘proto-scientist’. The only way you can say that is if you root yourself in the contemporary time, take the definition of ‘scientist’ as it exists currently and project back in time to where it didn’t exist nor did it make sense (that’s the way most scientists think and why you can’t trust them to write their own history). So, the Cortez books don’t describe proto-science, they describe the science of their time, which is just as valid in its time as ours is in our time.

But regarding your question, there are a few points I wanted to make with the Bibliotheca Valenciana. The first of these is pretty straightforward: the Cortez books are not only one of the major sources for some of the later forms of the Cyprian Books, but they are themselves one of the major resources for your average Portuguese (and Brazilian) folk practitioner. While the reference to Cortez is actually fleeting in The Book of St. Cyprian I translated, as you move along the literary tradition of Cyprian Books, the repacking of material from the Physiognomy and the Lunario becomes ever increasing, particularly in Brazil. This by itself, in my own conception of what the work I’m supposed to be doing is meant to be, not only justifies the writing of that book but actually demands it.

The second point is probably more on the line of what you are alluding to. Besides the immediate relevance these books would have for someone interested in St. Cyprian related practices, they very efficiently describe what would be the early modern Catholic cosmology in purely functional terms and straight across social classes, even if this might at times not be completely explicit in the text. Note that there isn’t a distinction here between science and religion. Those are western academic categories and a person placing herself in the environment from where those books come from would not make this distinction in any way.

So, the point was not to simply offer context for St. Cyprian practices, but really to try to open up early-modern Catholicism as a still functional magical worldview and to offer the chance to approach the spiritual structures of the Church with an eye for (a rogue) practicality. If, as you say, Iberian folk magic is in fashion, if you try to reframe many of these practices into a Protestant cultural background (which is where Anglo-American occultism is based at), and if you’re serious about what you’re doing, you’ll run into more than a few bumps on the road. So the point was to offer a cosmology for when (or if) a cosmology is necessary.

And my final point with that book was part of a personal issue I’ve been working around regarding the nature of grimoires. I’m sure there are some purists out there who will vehemently disagree with me, and they might have a point; but I’ve come to think that that title cannot be solely given to a book by its author. If you analyze the way, historically, certain books are reacted to by the environments they enter you start to realize how arrogant it is to claim that one book is a grimoire in exclusion of another. ‘Grimoire’ should at times be a behavior description. It shouldn’t be about ‘this book is a grimoire’, but rather ‘I act towards this book as if a grimoire’. Once again, I believe that the denial of this is a ‘learned’ issue, a thing of high society and a claim of authoritarian elitism. So, to me, the Cortez books looked like Catholic grimoires in form and function, and they were certainly treated as such by people over here for hundreds of years, and logically they overlap with The Book of St. Cyprian. This is a line of work I intend to keep on exploring, and I’m actually right now planning on putting together something else further articulating this; some 18th century Catholic books I’ve recently fallen in love with.

When you talk about the Cortez books being used like grimoires, were his books perceived in Iberian society as "dangerous" or otherwise taboo in the way that Cyprian's Book was? Or do you mean more from a practical standpoint that the material in the book was used in much the same way one uses material in a grimoire?

I mean it from a practical standpoint mostly. This is something I’m still trying to figure out completely, but the construction of fear around the Book of St. Cyprian seems to be quite more recent than the Cortez books.

Overall I haven’t found that many references to Cyprian in the 17th-century, so it’s hard to say for certain what the image of The Book was for people familiar with it back then. But anyway, the emotional reactions to the two were probably very different. Although Cortez was a pioneer in the general prognostication literary genre, books of that sort weren’t particularly new or persecuted. They could at times be frowned upon (which lead to many being given false publication cities), and used as circumstantial evidence to prosecute someone accused of illicit practices, but they were never a particularly fearful thing in anyone’s eyes.

Witchcraft in Portugal is very under researched. It's my understanding that the history of witchcraft and its persecution is very different in Portugal than in neighboring Spain due to lack of an Inquisition in Portugal. What facets have shaped what we would call witchcraft practices that separate Portuguese and Spanish traditions?

First of all, a correction: Portugal did have an Inquisition. It started off slightly later than in many other countries, in 1536, but it lasted into 1821, so we had plenty of it over here. Now, what usually distinguishes it from many other such similar institutions was the absence of witch-hunting. While the practices perceived as witchcraft were still very much against the law, and if found these would be persecuted, there was no major active effort by any institution to actively search and persecute ‘witches’.

The only period where we do have anything close to a witch-hunt is actually in the 18th century, when you have a marked rise in related accusations. This instance had, for a long time, been somewhat of a mystery, but Timothy Walker in his Doctors, Folk Medicine and the Inquisition has very efficiently related this to an active effort by Coimbra trained doctors to eliminate folk healers and New Christian competitors from the market by becoming Inquisitional snitches. But overall, the number of witchcraft cases (and we can throw ‘superstition’, ‘magic’ and ‘sorcery’ in there) on the Portuguese side of things are actually quite reduced, seeing as the Inquisition was much more preoccupied with the persecution of hidden Jews (real or imaginary).

One other side of this is that the narratives of diabolical witchcraft popularized in other European countries didn’t find a very strong foothold here, leaving many of the descriptions of practices and ‘folk magical’ procedures free from learned projections, interpretations and prosecution. And finally, one other important particularity here was that witchcraft accusations didn’t seem to have a very pronounced female persecution aspect to them, with the divide being 40% male and 60% female… which really throws a wrenched into essentialist feminist witchcraft narratives.

What must be remembered is that witchcraft image construction is always culturally located, and to weave a Pan-European narrative is to fall into historical fallacies and anachronisms. Over here the typical targets of persecution were individuals who had no clear connection to any ‘public’ or ecclesiastic institution and had an uncertain source of income. In this category you then have widows, beggars, vagrants, Jews or day to day swindlers and small fry businessmen… and there are no significant Sabbat descriptions.

Comparing the case with Spain (of which I’m not an expert in by the way), it should also be noted that the usual portrait of the horrors of the Spanish Inquisition, in regards to witchcraft persecution, are inaccurate… that is another echo of the Black Legend. In Spain there were actually three parallel tribunals with authority to persecute witchcraft and related practices: the Secular, the Episcopalian and the Inquisitorial (mostly active in urban centers), and out of all of these the Inquisitorial was actually the most lenient. This has to do with the very Inquisitorial process, which tended to be extremely bureaucratic (leaving an immense paper trail which can be followed today, contrarily to the other tribunals which didn’t keep much of a record and consequently become less historically visible) and it was actually quite complex in terms of finding anyone guilty of such ‘immaterial’ crimes… again, against popular opinion and whatever savage nonsense was happening in Protestant Inquisitions. In order to condemn anybody to death for witchcraft, there needed to be proof of an explicit satanic pact, which was nearly impossible to achieve. Consequently, what we see with the Spanish Inquisition is that people accused of witchcraft or magical practices in rural areas would frequently flee to a city in order to be judged by an Inquisitional court because, even if they could end up condemned of something, the chance that they would be sentenced to death was much smaller. Maria Tausiet has a nice book on this actually, Urban Magic in Early Modern Spain, although she makes some horrible mistakes in her dealing with magic and folklore in general, going as far as quoting the Libro Magno de San Cipriano (from the 19th century) to explain spirit summoning in the early modern period…

The same thing is true of Portugal. Magic and witchcraft cases very rarely ended in death. It was much more common to give the accused a tap on the hand, give him or her a fine, have them make a public abjuration and them ship them off to one of the colonies or some forsaken place in the country. But you do start to find more common death sentences in relapse trials, but this once again wasn’t related to witchcraft itself, but rather because this implied that your original confession and abjuration had been a lie, which constituted sacrilege and was a considerably worst offense.

Ultimately, what in my opinion would distinguish both countries in terms of witchcraft narratives is something that goes beyond this straight duality of Portugal and Spain. True, we have had our borders nicely established for many hundreds of years and there are indeed certain distinctions that can be made between one side of the line and the other, but the error that this carries is that it is often assumed that whatever exists on either side of the border is itself homogeneous. There are some clear overarching motives and witchcraft narratives both in Portugal and Spain, but given the particular persecution circumstances, there are probably much stronger regional distinctions than national distinctions. There’s a very interesting book by Gunnar Knutsen, Servants of Satan and Masters of Demons, which very clearly demonstrate how ethnical and cultural differences between Northern and Southern Spain actually give rise to different forms of witchcraft narratives. I believe this should also be detectable in Portugal, and you could expect clear narrative distinctions between the North and the more Muslim influenced South.

Witchcraft image construction and narrative distinction is a very subtle field of work, and why I usually avoid talking about these issues with self described witchcraft practitioners. Contemporary witchcraft narratives tend to be monolithic and essentialist, and these are all pseudo-historical construction. I don’t mean this as an offense in any way; contemporary witchcraft has its own real history, and this is not in any way less ‘noble’ or worthy, but it’s most often not the history it tells of itself.

Contemporary feminist witchcraft, for example, while having a concrete and positive purpose in today’s society needs to be understood as being constructed over a particular narrative which is entirely local and politically motivated. The general tendency to want to apply this particular narrative, constructed by characters such as Margaret Murray and Gerald Gardener based on flawed and biased reading of historical documents, is a violent form of colonialism (curiously, a Patriarchic mode of behavior), frequently using anti-intellectualism claims in order to deny concrete historically observed practices and traditions that don’t fit a particular worldview.

Established religious traditions, be them Christian or Pagan, tend to have the same responses to what they perceive as attacks on their theological legitimacy and power monopoly. It’s the same mentality with a different opinion.

That was a bit of a tangent to your question I suppose… but as far as a distinction goes, that’s my position. I think a clear blind spot in Iberian Inquisition and witchcraft studies (and not just Iberian) is the common disregard for folklore and local culture to help frame and contextualize the several different practices being placed under the same category of ‘witchcraft’. This is once again a reflection of the ‘learned’ position of academic culture which is still a direct descendent of the actual Inquisitors who created this category in the first place (Wouter Hanegraaff has some nice material on this… although he doesn’t explicitly deal with the Inquisition and certainly not Southern Europe).

What projects do you have coming up?

I have a few things in the air right now. First and foremost, I spent most of last year traveling and researching for a new Cyprian book, and I’m hoping to have that published before the end of this year. This is one I’m very proud of and I think it’s safe to say that I found documentation that probably nobody had ever looked at (people have surely seen it, but not really looked).

It’s going to be something quite big I think, in the literal sense… it’s about 400k words long.

Other than this I have a few things on the drawing board. Like I already mentioned I’m playing around with a few 18th-century Catholic books from which I can make a very cool compilation of very pragmatically practical procedures involving Saints, exorcism and blessings. I think a thing like that would work very well with the Bibliotheca Valenciana, since the Bibliotheca is all about describing a Cosmology and this other one is all about practicality.

I have also a good list of papers and essays I’m working on, both as part of my current academic studies and my general writing. Most of these are based on particular selections of Inquisition processes of interest. There isn’t much of a study of magic and esotericism in Portugal, so this is the type of work that needs to be done in order to bring attention to understudied intellectual and religious currents over here. And, logically, in about four year I hope to have a thesis on folk magic and religion written.

  José has organized a spectacular one day conference, "Colóquio Peculiar: Transdisciplinaridades improváveis", on occult and esoteric subjects to take place 8 June, 2018 at the University of Coimbra.

[blueandyellowdiamond]

ANO - CAS LETI- ALE VYSLEDKY SVEDCIA!!!

Miss. Antónia Ficová, Engineer.

Humenné,

06783, SR, EU

 To attention:

Russian secret services and RF representatives

 To date: March, 6 2017

 Subject:

Complaint on your contribution with speculative background and manipulative instrument´s since 2014 for your benefits

          First of all, I woud like to get know you better in different way of sabotage and frauds. Viewed in this light, you know that I am not your toy or submissive little girl waiting for your help. Conversely, could you please make clean your table and make sure that your people will treat me with highest respect for my strict values and dignity and honesty and ditrect way of my life and my lifestyle.

        Secondly, I don´t have to explain why you focused and still focus on me, on my goals, activities and my perspective future since you have done a lot of to restrict me and isolate me. I mean I am simple woman from village with basic requirements for basic life, you know what I mean? You started to mix into my life and you started to question all my qualities and abilities since that option works only for you. In other words, all Pan_European Uni, at Tematinska  is full of russian employees with your salary? Full slovak republic of your people with your instructions? Full town of Humenne is full of your people? For what kind of reason?

        Thirdly, look, what you have done, and what other have done since they, and you, considered me as a russian spyer, had extreme consequences. So, I am not russian, I don´t even want to have russian citizenship, I don´t want cooperate with those kind of people that use white horses for frauds and dirty deals with bn USD, EUR . So, If you gonna punnish me for selfconfidence and selfrespect, kindly focus why your country has got gdp and why your culture is in that way. However, since your large activities during my staying in Bratislava, and other places, I have decided to left for you only clean table, is that clear for you? And don´t even try to change me, from inside and outside, since I have got very strong character. So, I don´t care about long list of your corrupted people at highest positions in SR, for example ministry of labour, regional offices, to put your people, and to make this land your country? Listen, you left me minimum sources for life, by papers only sixty euros, due to fact that is better for you to isolate me, to use all manipulative method´s since for you are important only papers, doesn´t matter on human lifes and their backgrounds.

        Fourthly, I identified a lot of possible threats from your side, just because I have no interest about you, and I don´t want to see next to me any russian guys. Do you know how is possible to identified russian people? Look at history of land, at national statistics and clear data and facts. They know only to drink a lot, only to eat to much, don´t work only robb, to make dirty businesses, to have rich lifestyle so quickly for free, or on behalf of others, in sum. So, if you used me, and still use me, how long you gonna plan my future, you understand?

        Fifthly, you know how hard is to build selfconfidence and to get respect and professional reputation? Do you know how many hours, days, months, I have spent by studying and sitting by reading books and working on computer? I am self educated person since nobody never ever develop my skills and talents into something what is suitable for me as a woman. The main goal of woman is not only give births or to serve husband or to clean and cook all the time, wake up asap. So, you will see potential of woman that don´t want to be victor of tyrany of any unprofessional individuals at high positions because they don´t know what to do with their free time and with their penises, you know what I mean? I don´t want to have any close relations with you, so kindly make sure that if you will see me on the street first say hello, how are you. I am not here for your entertainment, due to fact that god had plans for me, to see me healthy and happy. Not prisoned by you and others, and with managed bankruptcy. I should be rich at 25 years, and I never gonna respect you since your attacks are against me. So, according to slovak lifestyle, basic slovak student after uni graduation, have possibility of first paid job with salary 1.000,- eur per month according to the industry and position. So, according to the usa lifestyle, fresh graduate, hardworker, have got unique opportunity to make 400,- usd per hour. So, I know to analyze and do research, why I have to be over here. Either you gonna make clear official public statement, what and when and why you have done. 16 months to be influenced by local people or local treatment resulted into what? To be unemployed? I can not to have my papers at the my hands? And to spend them how I want? Go head, just go head.

        In this regard, I am not insignificant, and I didn´t apply to be public figure, so if you have got any secret lives, I don´t care, clean your mess because my skin and my feets are not gonna wait for your discrimination and elimination due to my extreme talents, to my contrinutions to state budgets and micro and macro levels, clear? And, If I have to be always alone, that doesn´t mean that I want. I would love to be surrounded people at my level and company with understanding. But your goals is only, how to delete me. SO, don´t pretend that my life and destiny plays important role for you, how long you benefited from me?! How many people, that I never met, pretended that are my husbands, fiances, etc. How many statements you provided to others without my knowledge? If you started to underestimate me, you should count your bills since I am ready for 39. hell from any sides. And, as I mentioned too many times, you only try to decrease my immunity system, since I have experienced on area of SR too many experiences that are not allowed for young age. So, don´t mix me with lazy naive stupid individuals. And, show your huge heart for prisoners, due to fact that I am not dangerous and my appearance can be changed by one second, since I have learned to be comedian actor, and there is nothing what I would not accomplished by my hard work and chances. So, only you, decision makers. You started to take control over me and monitor me since what? As experimental rabbit? Which method you did not to use? Kindly show your final reports since society see me to walk every day without material products. And somebody like me should have everywhere opened door and everything for free, since I highlighted you as much I can, and you fuck me off. So, mother world, welcome in this real world with cruel instruments. Well done, you can have any other virgin, since I am not gonna be homeless or bitch, just for your fun. And how many of you are paid for tyranny´s activities? I don´t care if you change, or not. I am not gonna change myself for you, to suit your category.

        The bottom line is: doesn´t matter how I live, you only want to see me suffer and emotions for free, and attract more investors. Btw. my ideas, when they will be under my trademarks, my licences? You only exceed my precious time by making bullshit bureaucracy that doesn´t work for me. I want to see what is out there for me, clear? And don´t lock me at one place. Why didn´t you put me at jail? Didn´t you make false activities in that way?

          Don´t forget that god is watching you 24/7 just for your talents. Nobody gonna cry for you and share you love every single day for free.

[icefrozendeadlyqueen]

Deadly Sisters: (y/n)’s Prologue.

Title: Deadly Sisters

Family: Reader comes from a family involve in the unknown. The world normal people have no clue about. They can theorize, but they can never be completely sure. Their family prefers to work on their own, "better work alone than with a crowd, right?".

Summary: Two killers rely on each others... What could possibly go wrong???

Ships: (y/n) x Ubbe, (y/n) x Sigurd, Ashla x Hvitserk. Reader insert words use

Favorite Coffee: (f/c) Your name: (y/n) Last name: (l/n)  (Your tagged id)

Warning: There are huge topics in here. I’m sorry if it offends anyone, but I couldn’t stop once I started writing.

Story: On going. It's text/scenes. I hope you enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My name is (y/n) (L/n), I am a hacker Hitman.

I thought life was simple in most terms speaking my simple is other's dismay or death. It all depends on my mood. I have a set of skills well learned throughout my life; it's a family legacy to know how to align with people at a level is certainly scary. I am always learning everything I can get my hands on from truth, rumors, lies and overall the darkest information known to men. Example, people's lives are a new chapter of a story, why did Gregory kill his wife? huh.

The cops said his wife was cheating on him. The first cop to come at the cries of the neighbors threw up in the scene of the crime. Revolting. It's all he manage to muster to the news. His family wants to believe he was posses by the devil. Only reasonable explanation for a gentleman that burn his wife and kids alive, right? Her family believes he was paranoid. They demand him to be given the highest type of punishment, Capital Punishment. The neighbors can't believe what has occur. Its such an atrocious act. They retell that night like a replying nightmare every time they close their eyes. "I woke up to the screams of Tiffany. She was a nice gal used to bring me pie whenever she had some extra". "In all my 80 years of living in this neighborhood something like this has never happen. They had family issues as any couple would". "Gregory and Tiffany were an exceptional matrimony. They would come to my families Saturday cooks out! Tiffany would bring her famous pie! Gregory bring some of the whiskey I like. We have a good time. My kids like their kids. We didn't notice anything wrong". His colleague detail how good he was at his job. He took a good length of time to manage his work to perfection. It became Gregory's signature. Her colleague say she was diligent. She never once made a mistake. Those people that envy her believed she was a witch how could she had a response for everything. Always being right neither wrong on anything. What a load of bullshit

A conservative small town what could possible go wrong with such a murder? it's the center of the epicenter.

Whats hot in news right now? I will let you know in more than one occasion. Hypothetically speaking a woman by the tag name Veronica_Ink join my chatroom long ago. I have always explained to them the chat rules here in the dark web.

(Private Message between (your tagged Id) & Veronica_Ink)

Veronica_Ink: "I have joined through a secure server on my husband's computer".

(Your tagged Id): "I don't particularly give a shit how you join. I am telling you not to come here looking for trouble, ma'am. I am fed up of saving damsels in distress".

Veronica_Ink: "My dad is a rapist, and I sleep with a pistol under my pillow".

(Your tagged Id): "Okay. You have experience to be here at least. It took an escalating turn"

Veronica_Ink: "It's alright. I had gone as far as too change my name and any trace of that from my present. Now, I have beautiful children and a treasure of a husband".

(Your tagged Id): "Cute then why are you here?"

Veronica_Ink: "Not all fairy tales are true...."

(Your tagged Id): "Enough said". I didn't ask what she meant in any way or form I don't care. It's how this new century works. The less you care the less probability of getting caught. A rule the (L/n) family has lived by for centuries, and we have manage to avoid detection. It's a sweet taste in your mouth like drinking the nectar of gods, A.K.A. (F/c), knowing that we haven't gotten caught yet. It's the best part of a thrill being known like any other millennial

Veronica_Ink: "We are the picture perfect couple since middle school. We grew up in a small town high school sweethearts, you know?".

(Your tagged id): "I have never understood the necessity of high school sweethearts".

Veronica_Ink: "It's like finding your other half for high school".

(Your tagged id): "I get that part, but I don't see the point. The expectations of happy ever after until is not possible".

Veronica_Ink: "It's picture perfect".

(Your tagged id): "Outside until people decide to look close enough".

We agreed it was just going to be a quick chat or did I just agreed to that? We never talk about it to be precise so I just don't understand the tugging I feel re-reading this none existence conversations lost in deep thoughts. I have single handle all of my problems without relying on my family much. We take on jobs that we have no emotional attachment what so ever... I guess I didn't comprehend why would that be. I have never taken a job with another family member for actual good reasons.

Jobs. Tasks. It's all the same in terms, isn't it? I am already 10 steps to close to this.

Veronica_Ink: "You don't like high school sweethearts, do you?"

(Your tagged id): "It seems all fake to me for some it works. I have no problem with it, but I have never understood the term high school sweethearts. The concept itself seems to be playing with fate, and fate is laughing at it".

Veronica_Ink: "Ahhhhh. You had a high school sweetheart?"

(Your tagged id): "No, I have never stay in a high school long enough. It was particularly entertaining".

Veronica_Ink: "Awh.. that's awful"

(Your tagged id): "It really isn't. You are probably thinking of an orphan or movng a lot type of deal. I am neither".

Veronica_Ink: "Yeah... you don't seem like the person to give a shit either. It was nice to talk to you, (y/n). I have to go attend to some things."

(Your tagged id): "Yeah, don't mention it. Have a good day Tiff".

Veronica_Ink: "Tomorrow same time?"

(Your tagged id): "Same place".

Who knew I would have gotten a friend from this illegal dump? Hell would laugh at my stupitity. I got attached. She knew before I knew. Well know... I did some bringing up to the light. I have uncover her life not like somthing can be hidden from me. There is nothing in this world that I can't crack with enough practice and hard work as long as you don't get caught. I don't need to be recognize on anything what's the point of doing something if people acknowledge it.

Just fucking do it and let the repercussions come later. I have many completely sign for me as we speak. My father always said, "Time will only tell, pop. We either keep doing things right protecting the family or we fail all together screwing the family". He has a point that there is no in between. I look at it the way anyone would have I don't regret my choices or the fact I am obviously blinded by emotions at this point. What the fuck was I thinking??

That's right I wasnt fucking thinking. I keep hearing my father's advice through out all my bad decisions a reminder that I am making a shitty hole for myself. I may as well make it even more big than it should be. I call myself a hitman, but I am here trying to solve marital problems? Jesus Christ. I am trying to blame somebody where there is nobody to blame. I am trying to find an excuse where there is none. I always will be a step ahead of everyone unless I let my heart lead.

(Your tagged id): "How are the kids?"

Veronica_Ink: "They are doing amazing! Little josh won fourth place on his spelling bee tornament, "Mom, I'll work hard to get #1 next year", he is the most cutest thing. Gregory offer to help him train up, and I almost forgot about last night beating. I have to thank you with helping jessica yesterday, you know? her paper got an A+. The university loved it. I don't know how you do it all the thoughts she wanted to express you had it on paper".

(Your tagged id): "Don't mention it, Tiffany. I am glad I could help even in the slightest. What about little jimmy? Is he better from the flu?"

Veronica_Ink: "We just got home from his check up. Gregory bought him a baseball bat, so they can plan on that trip. Jimmy wants to become a baseball player".

(Your tagged id): "The kid has a bright imagination... isn't this his 17th switch so far? How much energy does he has... you wouldn't fucking believe he has an illness damn".

Veronica_Ink: "haahahahah. Actually his 26th so far, "Mommy! I love them all! Fire fighter, super hero and baseball player! I want to be all", he said that on our way back and Gregory told him the sky is the limit.

(Your tagged id): "I pity his babysitter".

Veronica_Ink: "That's me”.

(Your tagged id): "I digress".

Veronica_Ink: "Ah come on! He is the cutest!".

(Your tagged id): "You can't decided which of your children is the cutest. On that note, who's the favorite?".

Veronica_Ink: "You know is getting late.. I should be going."

(Your tagged id): "I rest my case".

Veronica_Ink: "hahahahahaha. All jokes aside little lady. How are you today? You don't particularly like pen names, but I can't seem to resist"

(Your tagged id): "I ignored them. I am doing pretty good and you? I have had a pretty good week. Thank you for asking Tiff".

Veronica_Ink: "Doing as well as a viking burning boat. Jessica got into USCF, little jimmy says he will become a baseball player, and lil josh says he'll be the next spelling bee champion".

(Your tagged id): "So an honorable death? Well, this took a turn. It's UCF btw. I am guessing excitement took a turn".

Veronica_Ink: "Yeah, I started watching this discovering channel with Jessica.. you know mother and daughter quality time?! I am so happy! She ask me to watch it with her. I thought she would ask her best friend and not her boring mother."

(Your tagged id): "That's sweet you two are spending time together. I have to take a big dump on that 'boring mother' do I have to remind you that you are in a dark web chatroom. I don't think thats boring".

Veronica_Ink: "I can't really bragged about it though. That's like one of your main rules of the page or did you forgot? You say you'll ban people or ruin their life".

(Your tagged id): "Touché. Let me think... brag about your life? You won a hot dog competition in middle school? You punch that slutty math teacher in high school that's in prison now? I am going on a limb here but your life is not boring. It might not be celebrity worthy, but that doesnt matter".

Veronica_Ink: "Good point. My daughter is showing interest in my life! I feel so happy right now. Don't you think punching a teacher was a little too much?"

(Your tagged id): "It depends on what happen. Normally teachers are respecting human beings that deserve the world offer to them. Ashley was a racist little shit".

Veronica_Ink: "Look, (y/n) not everyone name Ashley is a bully or a racist or a pedophile. It was just a huge coincidence. My sister's name is Ashley".

(Your tagged id): "And? Lets not even get on the topic of your sister... she isn't a good example to begin with.

Veronica_Ink: "Touché. On good terms, what can I bragged about? Jessica is my star. I want her to look up to me. I want her to think I am like a super mom?".

(Your tagged id): "She already thinks that. Jessica knows you put a lot of work on feeding her, so she can get all her vitamins and minerals. She bought you flowers last friday after you stood by her when that douch broke her heart. She may not see much of your cool right now because she is a teenager that's basically their definition. Don't over think it much, Tiff. You are an amazing mother. You are doing just fine".

Veronica_Ink: "You are probably right. I am going to go right now. I want to give them all my undying attention".

(Your tagged id): "Good night, Tiffany".

Veronica_Ink: "Good night, (y/n)".

I have a weak point on some extent. I'll accept it. Other than my sister nobody has broken through my hard core firewall. I guess the first instict to change is to fight it or just be crazy for a little bit. I am friends with Tiffany. This is just incredible. This is a healthy friendship, right? You care for something. It's natural right? It's an excuse isn't it? I guess. I am not sure anymore. Ashla would have laugh at my weakness. She would have put a bullet on Tiffany and walk away. I wish I could just let go, but I care too much to walk away. I love her to much to let go.. is that what friendships are? You care for another person more than yourself. I thought families fall into that category...

I have never let anyone in. Tiffany knowing my real name makes her a target, but there is no way she'll become one right? No. I am just being paranoid. Yeah.. that's it. Paranoia.

Veronica_Ink: "It was a weird old man. I lost little josh at the amusement park, and he said an old man guide him to a van. He bought him an ice cream and told him to stay inside. I am terrified and scared about it. He said a woman came before the smelly old man could hurt him. She took his hand, knew his name and even play some games with him. He said the woman got him that teddy bear he wanted, but I told him I didn't had enough change for".

(Your tagged id): "Huh why are you telling me all of this?"

Veronica_Ink: "It was you, wasn't it? Don't deny it, (y/n). Josh secretly told me the woman knew my name. He told the police the description of the man. I was relieved when the cops found the old man, and it wasn't one of josh made up stories. He was brutally murder, (y/n). Execution style. The police told Gregory and I that there was a woman, but there is no camera that caught the woman's face. We could only see little josh talking to someone.. we recognize it was a woman because of the voice... just please. Thank you".

(Your tagged id): "Execution style? Sheez. Veronica. I don't do Execution Style. I am a hacker for fuck sake how would I know how to kill people?"

Veronica_Ink: "You said so yourself. Anything can be accomplish with enough anger built up".

(Your tagged id): "When the heck did I said that?"

Veronica_Ink: "The day before the amusement park. We talk. You said to watch my kids because there was news reports of kids disappearing and found dead a week later".

(Your tagged id): "Me and my big mouth."

Veronica_Ink: "I know it was you. I want to believe it was you".

(Your tagged id): "It wasn't me. I had been at home all day. I was working on a job"

Veronica_Ink: "Computer related? I know you can't do remote jobs.. Hmm.. Well.."

(Your tagged id): "Do you have any prove anyways?"

Veronica_Ink: "No.. I had a feeling. Josh had a bubble gum package and a chocolate bar in his jetted pocket. The only person I know that loves coffee more than life is you plus you are the only person that knows josh favorite bubble gum. He is a hard kid to follow strangers. He knows better than to do that, but he told me that the woman was my friend. No, his exact words were "My Guardian angel"".

(Your tagged id): "Can you just accept your kid is safe? He is away from harm. You are all a big family again, right? Be happy idk"

Veronica_Ink: "Thank you, (y/n)".

(Your tagged id): "It was my sister, okay?".

Veronica_Ink: "The deemed one?"

(Your tagged id): "We are all deemed, but yes"

Nah, bitch. It was me. Fuck. You see my point. I am attached to a level that can become deadly. I knew that old faggot wouldn't resist a lost kid. I knew that. I had to do some extra remote work to make up for it, but it was worth it. It was. It is worth it. Why wouldn't it be? Tiffany is save and the jumping troll thats her kid is doing good. I got attach to her and her kids.. I am a fool.

Execution Style seem the fair go to for all his fucking crimes. He had all the kids outfits. The ones he hurt. I got emotionally involve so what? like its a fucking crime. I couldn't live with myself if I let it happen. I couldn't live with my conscience. I feel... fuck.. so predictable right? (y/n) stares at her diary letting go of another sigh. (y/n)'s eyes scroll through the images in her computer of an old chat conversation with vivid notes she wrote daily to keep up with her changing or Tiffany growing into her. (y/n) lips tremble in little weeps tears that she doesnt bother to clean, "It's done sweet, Dove. I have avenge you... it has been a long time old friend". (y/n) words leave a sore taste in her lips though a sweet feeling inside her even if its been old to come. The words don't make her feel any better nothing seem to do fix the broken shell of a woman she was anymore, "I have a flight to catc-". The words lost within a train of tears coming furiously from her eyes as her heart opens accepting what she was pushing back all this years.

Yeah I can't believe that either. Dear old friend. You can rest in peace now, okay? The bitch is dead along with your ex-husband.

[ligbi]

Animorphs Liveblog #1

I borrowed Animorphs from some friends and liveblogged my thoughts for them. I thought some tumblr folks may enjoy them as well. Animorph content warning for fucked up shit. For kids!

The Invasion 1996 Jake is a Lizard, and this weird CG render of him in a shoe is actually pretty damn good for the time. I forgot about the flipbook corners. 

Everything I tell you is a lie, but you have to believe me The Andalites promised they'd rescue us, and knowing what I know I do not believe that a smidge Marco and Jake already already friends, Tobias is a new, awkward guy, Rachel is Jake's tall cool cousin, and Cassie is black and 'mythical' So begins the heteros Tell me more about Jake's brother Tom and how you two have become distant Cool one sentence into each girl and I love them both already. Fuck the patriarchy! But also being a girl in public is scary Ha. Ax murderers.at the construction site. Ax. They're 13 right? Babies but also I call bullshit on towns with walking distance malls Marco was right Jake the idiot Shit wait which one dies how bad will I regret reading this? I get Tobias man. Looking at that sky. Also Cassie just "ufo" Marco is looking to make a buck off a ufo sighting. Okay Jake is a dweeb so says Marco Oh no baby bird you're clearly the best dude curse eager bird men We all just stood there like fools Hey the ship is burned and some of it has been melted! Also blue lights because all technology has glowing blue lights Jake's family has a minivan (oh god these are small children), and Marco wants to be on Letterman. Letterman Oh god right it's '96 you have to Go Somewhere to Call Someone. Wow 96 was I was 5 I just turned 27 Technology Rachel wants to Solve the spaceship and Cassie points out Star Trek is monolinguistic. As with all series, Girls. Blue deer-taur with no real mouth and extra eyes on stalks with scorpion tail. I've been meaning to re-read Wrinkle in Time, but I think when I first read that at like, 10, I pictured those blind creatures like this Please note, I recall fully reading one (1) of these books ever to completion. Rachel turned into a squid in that one Yes Ax does look like he can kill. I assume he does at some point Jake is almost crying upon seeing Ax, who already feels like a friend. Due to time travel and reincarnation, I am scared to find out why this is Yes I Am Dying. Oh aliens. This is not Ax, is it? Whoops Cassie's family are vets. And she's ready to jump into helping Hey whoever you are, just saying, it sounds like you're implying literally every other alien in the universe wants to kill us. Which is fair but Yeerks. Rat sized gray-green slug parasites ...How does this Andalite (right?) know none of them are controlled by a Yeerk right now? Marco is a bit of a pragmatist Oh jeez lingo uh let's see: Yeerks have Bug Fighters, a Blade Ship, Dracon Beams which destroy things to a molecular level, Andalites have a Dome Ship and Z-Space is a thing Expected Yeerk takeover time: A year or less Yikes Hey Jake fuck you get the box Ugh so straight Got the cube and hey look a hologram of their family WOW MEAN Ok so most (all?) Andlaties have a morph power to Alteans! blend in and hide also we acknowledge they are young Cassie and Tobias for best kids right now Two red streaks for Yeerks Bug fighters these are He looks at Tobias and feels weird like a chill. Normally I'd call Gay but predestination/time-travel/something is up ...How do they know how long two Earth hours are? Oh shit Visser Three. And he can Morph that's uh legit concerning? How'd he get that and what horrible things have he done? Has? Have or has? Also, what WILL he do? Third black ship, and what's his alien touched Tobias' head and did/conveyed Something Oh cool construction equipment just pfffff'd out because a giant battleaxe ship with scimitar wings Was this ship designed by the Hork-Bajir, who have blades on their wrists elbows knees and tails, and t-rex feet and falcon-beaked snake heads with three horns. Who are good people but all (?) controlled Taxxons are Big centipedes with lobster claw hands, jello eyes, and a top mouth that's a pointy circle Again, I demand quick satisfaction as to the positive vibes they get from Andalite1 Ah Visser Three is a controller of an Andaltie. Who was that Andalite? Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul is a mouthful So if he takes over enough places, Visser will become One. Who's the current One? Oh cool we're being targeted because we're over-populated compared to other species Humans behind the Visser? Is it ya'll? Please be ya'll I love me time-travel angst Now V3 is a big Monster and we're blowing up ships and I know this is a construction site but where is anyone else? Aw Jake you wanted to help. That's dumb but aw Death count: 1 Are Taxxons the ever-hungry aliens I've heard about? Or do the Yeerks just think it's fun to eat a dead guy? Oh cool those were Human Controllers and Jake seems to know one. I assume it's big bro? Most people are crying and Macro pukes I HEAR THAT FRIENDS Split up? Jinkies Rachel knows bad words. WHAT ARE THE WORDS K.A.APPLEGATE. TELL ME THE FORBIDDEN LANGUAGE (I assume Son of a Bitch from context but shout out to Rachel if it's Fucker) They can kind of speak English? Ghafrash? Hobo man: maybe dead? Probably dead Jake's strongest real memory is of aliens smiling at him. Get it boy-you're a child get nothing please So you're not close with Tobias, but you know he has a cat named Dude. Also: Cat is named Dude I love it BTW Jake, noticing another dude is Glowing? ;) Oh dang so Tobias doesn't know his Dad, Mom just left him around ten, and we're on a coast, with his aunt living on the other because his uncle is on this one How long does it take to morph? This sounds like a concerning amount of time Multiple minutes. Alright. Nightmareish. Side note: semi-crouching warped human with long butt and stubbed feet stage of morphing in the corner here Watching someone morph into a cat is giggle inducing. I will cherish these times won't I Telepathy is a good, easy answer to lots of questions about weird powers and communication Two year old string in a messy room. Boy Ha naked. Also the cat instincts mean ...oh dear this is gonna cause problems Why does Tobias get to decide Jake is the leader also why Jake? Not why like bleh why him but plot-wise something is the pre-meditated choice Homer the dog. You watch The Simpsons boy? Taking the dna puts the animal in a trance and it doesn't hurt to morph Bones feel like they should hurt yeah that sounds right Scrapping sounds are wonderful Right you're not just A Dog you're The Dog you took from Awww you're not a bad dog Jake. And Tobias is a good kid. And damn it I did not want to right about the brother. Cassie has a farm and big brother Tom is in a club called the Sharing He's obviously a Controller, but also "It's just sports" I'm pro-anti-sports but anti-cult clubs UGH WE HAVE TO RECYCLE Jake pls Wildlife rehabilitation. Convenient to touch wild animals also a cow Plus zoo mom so let's all be giraffes Dang kids with their fireworks, taking over humanity and making cops somehow worse Marco is scared and picky and right poor kid Who also has reasons? Tell me more Mom body was never found, Dad can't be around people. Ouch Cassie is not only cool enough to have clothes, but can control the morph enough to play centaur "We want them real bad" jesus yeerk cop, tone it down will ya? Hey you look like your brother- come to our yeerk cult Help endangered species? You mean like *eyebrow waggle* Is Tobias/Rachel a thing? CD game we were going to play on my computer. Wow Hey not-Tom, why would these kids have read anything in a newspaper? Wow this is shamelessly manipulative and creepy and thanks Applegate for teaching kids to be reasonably creeper out by overly forceful and manipulative folks Jake honey Marco is right please stop living in denial Let's remind Tobias, who is already a hawk, about the time limit Feathers made of wax. This boy is going to fly too long in the sun And then he was naked because boys don't care about that too much I guess?  So as long as the DNA isn't bad for any reason, the state of the animal doesn't matter. What about dead animals? Let Tobias be superman. Poor kid Yeerk pools have Kandrona rays, and Yeerks have to go back into a pool every three days. Yeerk home sun particles Protect this child who can't fight for himself but will fight for the world Time to infiltrate I guess? Gotta sneak into this night volleyball game They live near a beach I suspect this is Cali, like all kid lit about young teens unless it's from the UK Can you grab a morph from a friend if they've changed into a whatever? Kids and Adults? Smidge weird Poor actual Tom trying to protect Jake They Would notice a horse wouldn't they? Tobias hun no please don't make excuses I know being human sucks but come on Oh course the Assistant Principal is a big bad Convert or kill. Yeesh Evil cops also Cassie being Black makes vague threats uhhh worse Let Jake be a dog! Ok but just pet all the animals? Lizard yes but deer? Wolf? Buzzards? Wildcat? I just climbed into my locker all cool like playing it chill because everyone climbs into lockers all the time This is a very small lizard The animal brains being way more in control is fucked up Cool so you just almost was stepped on, lost a body part, and have a still semi-alive spider inside your body after having seen an alien be eaten and knowing your brother is alive but controlled and may be sent to kill you. For kids! And of course the brain slug pool is under the school Do ya'll remember that Nick show about the bully who like, was about to die or was cursed, and he was a dog and only one kid could hear him and no one remembered him and he had to do a bunch of good stuff to be human again? Locking children into animal forms is a special kind of 90's torture I think Rachel/Tobias is a hard thing and good because someone needs to love this kid my word I appreciate Marco though. Hey shit head this is a dumb plan but you're my best friend so I'm in or what fucking ever. Asshole I liked Cassie's little speech about Mother Earth Marco named the band. Marco is a good shit, but what does it even mean that Jake's always been a Lizard? Are you calling him cold-blooded? Flaky? A bug eater? No family guest passes for the zoo? I don't know what Bush Gardens are but is this that? Roller Coasters and Monkeys Big Jim the gentle gorilla. Also bless Jake for riling Marco up Let's drive! hits wall Go right says Jake. Marco goes left You had a chance at a rhino Marco has a dark and tanned face Male siberian tiger. I assume if you turn into THAT animal, you can be a boy turning into a girl hyena or a girl becoming a boy turtle right? He's majestic and doesn't seem like he cares about you as long as you don't run Lol ya'll almost died from a tiger? Sure you did Jake's mom is a writer who is opposed to any TV but her own. Dad is a jokester. Is it Jake's mom who dies? I know a mom dies Dad is a doctor Cassie where are you did you get home from the zoo are you okay? Okay Rachel and Tobias are just a thing already ok. Oh cool the cop has Cassie I fear for her We are Controllers. We are here to... Kandrona, Please give us the girl for... evil? Great plan If you're so advanced, why don't you have elevators- me at Akio So large underground city, small pool, cages 10 people per, aliens, construction equipment Can Tobias communicate with Cassie from where they are? Yeahhhh people volunteering to be controlled by evil alien slugs sounds sadly right. And hey, you get to watch TV Poor Tom. And Rachel is ready to fuck shit up. One alien of each two kinds dead, and a human controller flung somewhere to maybe live? Elephant and Tiger time And Marco is a gorilla Later you would think about this moment WHY WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN TOM'S FREE AND WE'RE SAVING CASSIE RIGHT? Can horses stairs? V3 thinks they're Andalites. Ouch. Also where's Ax? 8 legs and 8 arms with 3 fingered claws, and 8 heads, tall as a tree. Vriska's aliensona Oh good and it shoots fireballs from its mouth Mouths Jesus Marco just twisted a guy in half and his guts spilled out. Alien guy but still Gotta love half morphed elephant ladies with shriveled trunk faces Something happened to the cop, and Cassie won't say what. Hum Tom is captured again. But you all saves One (1) human woman. It's a fucking start kids. And Tobias done fucked up. Wonderful. End Book #1. 

Oh cool now I can finally start listening to Morph Club, an Animorph pocast by some cool kids

[fyeahwynonnaearp]

What Just Happened?!?: Gonna Getcha Good (S02E03)

After watching the opening scene a bajillion times and telling myself “Calm down, Flaming Ladybug”, I ended up rewatching the episode a grand total of six times in order to get my thoughts in order. And boy! did I miss a crap ton of stuff. Before I delve in, let’s get some minor stuff out of the way:

New Character(s)

Tucker Gardner (Caleb Ellsworth-Clark): The youngest Gardner sibling and the “town pervert” according to eldest sister Mercedes. He gives out creepy vibes and was choked out by Gooverly for being homophobic. Beth Gardner (@meghanheffern): The middle Gardner child and, as stated by big sis Mercedes, the “directionless shut-in”. She seems to be super protective of baby brother. No matter how creepy and pervy he gets.

Monster(s) of the Week

Marzaniok, Bringer of Good and Bad Fortune, or “Marzipan”, as Wynonna calls it: First emerged 10 years ago from the trophy case of Purgatory High, or did it? Honestly, all we know was a group of 17-year-old hockey players got high and summoned the burlap-wearing creature via a spell given to them by their tired-of-losing-all-the-time coach. Next thing they know? There was a Wizard of Oz reject coming from the trophy case and granting their wishes, until it started hunting them down.

Final Thoughts (No Spoilers)

This was an episode that needed so many re-watches, and not because of the glorious cheerleading sequence. It may not have been obvious, but this episode was very Nicole-centered and may as well have been titled “Nicole and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”. 

It’s nice and refreshing to see Nicole outside of Wayhaught. We know Nicole as the thoughtful and supportive girlfriend, even when she was upset with the whole BBD un-deputizing thing. We get a peek into who she is without Waverly. BTW, Nicole Haught is awesomely unapologetic and sticks to what she believes in, even if it means standing up to her boss and her girlfriend’s scary older sis. Plus, we get a hint into why and how she ended up in Purgatory. More importantly, this episode sets her up to perhaps being responsible for putting down one of the Big Bads of the season; the Gardners. Meaning, she has her own storyline separate from her girlfriend, the Earp curse, and the BBD. Kudos to the writers, that’s how you treat “the girlfriend” becoming a series regular! (Even if I’m a tad disappointed Katherine Barrel doesn’t show up in the opening credits).

Favorite quote: Oh, I’m sorry. Did I hit my head and wake up in patriarchal bullshit land? --Officer Nicole Haught to Sheriff Nedley.

Now, head on under the cut for spoiler-laden theories and discourse!

10 Things That Happened/I Learned (in no particular order)

1. Gooverly is a klepto, likes shiny things, and is quickly becoming a hoarder. Also, though Gooverly may or may not have a crush on Officer Haught-stuff, the goo demon(?) definitely ain’t got time for homophobic bullshit. Most importantly, Waverly has no memory of her dark-eyed, spider-snacking, lipstick-eating, hulking-out self.

2. People in Purgatory pretend the town isn’t overrun with demons. Like, seriously?! Anyways, Nedley worked hard to recruit Nicole, who graduated top of her class in the Big City, to work for him because he’s grooming her to be the next Sheriff to protect the ordinary, non-werewolf citizens of Purgatory. I’m all for Sheriff Haught, but is there a reason why he recruited Nicole specifically? There has to be a reason other than her being smart and having good instincts for him to decide she would be the perfect person to police a town that is full of paranormal events and creatures.

3. The Gardners are important to Purgatory. It is clearly building up more to be than just being the rich family in town. Mercedes mentions that her (recently deceased?) parents left the majority of their fortune to the town. Plus, a community center in their name is being built. An important location for later on? Plus, there has to be a reason why Nedley made a file on Tucker and then saying he’s been playing a ‘long game’.

4. Dolls’ serum needs the pure blood of a demon. What exactly is the serum for and it seems like it doesn’t matter which demon. Would Gooverly’s blood work? Because when they signed that BBD contract, the camera panned to Waverly’s blood when it was her turn. Hopefully, we will get some answers in the next episode considering Dolls came back.

5. Wynonna definitely is having some thoughts about Wayhaught. She thinks Waverly is once again putting her significant other first, like how it was when she was with Champ. Wynonna is definitely protective of Waverly, to the point that she brushes off the new weirdness and just blames it on Nicole. However, at the end, she does asks Waverly if she was okay, but I think Wynonna was referring to the fighting with Nicole.

6. Doc is making Dolls’ serum with Rosita’s help. But, I’m still not clear on what exactly Dolls whispered to Doc when they were breaking him out of BBD site. Did Dolls tell Doc about Rosita and the whole “tell her” had nothing to do with Wynonna at all? I need to watch that episode again.

7. Waverly was giving Nicole a private show, was not wearing underwear, goes “on patrol” with her lady, and Wayhaught may or may not have panty-less role-play with Nicole wearing her uniform....Pass it on.

8. At least one of the Women in Black escaped from the BBD crate explosion from episode one. We know few things about them, such as smelling like Mama Earp and Willa (same perfume). The question is why were they at the Gardner residence and kill Mercedes? We first see them at the condo/building that Mercedes bought and where the broken seal is located. Other than Wynonna, Mercedes was also the only other person that the Women in Black haunted (or hunted?). 

9. Dolls knows something is up with Waverly. How soon will Dolls inform Wynonna about Gooverly and will she believe him? I only hope that the gang also talks to Nicole and not shut her out.

10. Someone/Something broke out of the seal. Throughout the entire episode, Wynonna keeps looking for whatever broke out of the seal. Previously, Earl mentioned being drawn to protecting it. This makes me think back to season 1 when Juan Carlo mentioned that the Ghost River Triangle not only keeps things in, but also keeps things out. It is a sanctuary from things that were kept out, but are now in because of Willa. Makes sense if the Ghost River Triangle (which is a really huge area that goes beyond Purgatory), is a sanctuary for some creatures (i.e. the werewolf citizens) and why people just pretend it isn’t overrun by demons. I hope this gets explored more before the end of this season.

Let’s take a moment to remember those we lost in this episode...

IN MEMORIAM

Mercedes Gardner: Bitch, I will always remember you for being an awesome friend to Wynonna and for putting your creepy baby brother in his place, no matter how short lived it was. I really do hope that your neck wasn’t snapped by the Lady Gaga hand because you’re a crazy, awesome bitch! B-Train: Honestly, I’m adding you because Wynonna likes your nickname. Kudos though for managing to rip out your liver with just your bare hand. Like, damn!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

[abnormal-angel]

Im not sure I understand all the "drama" around DK and Norm. What happened? Why is everyone hating on her? Are they a couple or not? What did she do that makes people so angry? Where do people take their info on their relationship? I'm so behind on the gossips. Sorry for asking. I hope you'll be able to light my lantern.

Hey Anon! How much time do you have? Pull up a seat and I will tell you the tale of dk (lol). I’m going to try and stick the main points here, if I leave anything our anons will let me know.

First please check out the dk wank tag I created, this will start you at the very beginning of what started all this for me. Which was he trolling the fans on IG. Anyway here some main reasons why fans are upset with her.

1. I have known about DK since she started dating Joshua Jackson about a decade ago, I have never been a fan of hers and have always thought she was just entirely fake and only in it for the fame and attention. She used Joshua’s name to become “somebody” in Hollywood, from which I hear isn’t her biggest fan. 

2. She is a serial cheater and known to leech off of one guy and then jump right into bed with another. She has cheated on her ex husband and cheated on Joshua with Norman while making the movie, Sky. Cheating on Joshua right under his nose, even though he helped get the film publicity by cameoing in the movie, which still flopped.

3. She carried on cheating on Joshua with Norman and who knows who else tbh after Joshua gave her another chance. After a year Joshua finally kicked her to the curb when she was caught cheating on him again. For some reason dk is the one who sought out Norman for the role in sky and had apparently wanted to get her hooks in him that early. What is even more sick is that Norman and Joshua had been friends and had known each other for years. 

4. From what we known dk and norman have been casually screwing around with each other since then (2015) but Norman has also been screwing around with a lot of other women on the side at the same time. dk has been pushing really hard the past few months to try and force norman into saying they are exclusive, going so far as to set up her paparazzi rag (The Daily Mail) to snap shots of them out on the town or her going to his apartment (showing everyone where he lives btw). She then has her people there type up hyped up articles with headlines like, “Sorry Joshua, but she’s taken!!” Using Norman’s name to throw shit towards Josh all the while pretending she really cares about Norman. Who she was quoted to call, “a very broken,” man in an interview while filming sky. Uh what?? So you love your men broken do ya dk? Twisted.

5. She is an emotional manipulator and many of us worry that she is going to hurt his heart. She has already proven all the cares about is her face in the spotlight and she uses guys to get this attention. Literally, no one thinks she can act, so her life legit has become siccing paparazzi on Norman every second he has been in NYC on hiatus and then leaking them to her rag. All the rag articles mention Norman Reedus, even in ones where it is just her picking up her laundry or some shit, because it gets clicks and she gets paid.

6. dk has a sick and twisted tie with the Daily Mail. Check it out. Not only are most of these articles just plain click bait, but it shows her connection to the rag is a deep one where she is basically paying paparazzi to setup norman and her and norman on the town and then she pays the daily mail writers to write whatever b.s. story she wants us to believe. Not too mention her IG appears to be filled with paid trolls who help her block and delete all negative commentary on her IG and fill it with bullshit, “you’re so beautiful we love you and norman,” comments. Which again Norman has NEVER come out and actually said they are dating so this just again shows her lack of respect and willingness to spin things her way, even in fucking IG comments. lol hilarious. She spends her days trolling fans and stalking norman, she has legit not left him alone this entire hiatus, except when he is at cons. Bitch is scared of fans and should be, we are catching onto all her b.s.

7. Don’t even get me started on the video she set up with her and norman about a month back. He was wasted out of his mind and she was parading him around like a puppy on a leash, while the paps snapped away. Then she set up up so we had to watch her attacking him basically while she gives him a hickey and he stands there awkwardly and tense af, knowing they are being filmed. Then she smacked his ass, as if to claim him, he looked pissed. If you can stomach the video (seriously the grossest thing I have ever seen tbh *shudders*) google “diane kruger daily mail norman reedus makeout” or something like that and you will find it. But be forewarned it is gross. 

8. Also this very same day she paid paps in L.A. to follow Joshua around when he was on a date with his new girl. She then leaked those photos because she had been bugging Josh to go public for a while with this new woman and he wouldn’t. So she legit set him up so that he was forced to go public, at least in paparazzi rags. No major media magazine ever picks up any of these things it is tabloid fodder that she gets paid for and spins to her advantage. So that very day she leaks Joshua on his date pap picture is the very same day she set up and leaked that video. 

9.She is trying to lock his ass down and show people he is hers, when in reality he has never come out publically about being in a relationship with her or it being anything exclusive or official. Norman also has always loved his privacy and has a hatred for paparazzi and has a well known history of this. So her using paps to force himself to out himself with her is really sick and twisted of her. And her setting him up at his apt, showing where he lives in also very disrespectful.

10. She is an emotional manipulator, she is very good at trying to spin everything so that she is the victim when in fact she is victimizing him. He is also not completely innocent in all of this, but I believe he has a good heart and she is playing with it. She is literally using him for everything she can squeeze out of him.

11. We also found out last week that it was her and her people who set up and propped up the false pregnancy rumors that have been flying around the past few weeks. Even though every event she is at she is caught drinking, just another way to troll fans and gain clicks on her rag. Also again if you respected Norman you wouldn’t be spreading false rumors and purposefully playing into them. Just shows what kind of person she really is, a user.

12. Norman is obviously hating the paparazzi be sicced on him all the time and some theorize this is a way she is keeping him on lock down. Think about it, he can’t fuck around if they are watching his every move. Another way to force exclusivity when it is obvious Norman does not want that. She traps and uses him and then calls it “love.”

[EDIT ANON ADDED ITEM]: Add to your list. DK was only allowed in Spain on the promise she would not call paps. She begged NR to go. She broke it before she left because she alerted the DM paps she was leaving the country for everyone to see. DK has also said shit about one of NR’s closest friends  She has also said bad things about Norman himself last year to get what she wants.

[EDIT ANOTHER ANON ADDED ITEM]:  Do not forget she is a plain classic stalker. She stalked NR fan blogs and saw about his ex-gf ig he commented on. She tracked the gf down and liked posts on her account about NR. She must spend most of her time researching his name. She went to Italy and when she saw he was hanging with his twd friends she flew back the same day because she is so crazy. And she keeps up comments about them marrying in secret on her social media.

—–

Whew! I think I got most of the main points here Anon. Long story short she is bad news and making Norman look awful in the industry’s eyes right now, which he doesn’t need or deserve. We all hope he gets away from this toxic manipulative woman soon. He deserves to be treated so much better!

WE LOVE YOU NORMAN! And we love Joshua! Who didn’t deserve any of this (after ten years with her she does this to him) And we hope that they both get away from her as soon as possible.

Hope that clears things up. Thanks Anon! Send Norman some love and clarity, he is really grappling with big decisions about this situation rn if you ask me…

[moriarty87]

About this Revival of a Revival business

Okay, so some of you messaged me about my feelings regarding the Metro article on Gilmore Girls Part 2: Three Women and a Baby, and some asked what it means for my stories, so I’m just going to address it in one long post because it’s easier than doing 15 different PMs. And maybe only three people will see this, but whatever (too few follower problems haha). Warning,  extreme ramblings and nonsensical arguments are below. 

My main gripe about all this is that AYITL ended perfectly for what the Palladinos wanted to achieve, despite the anger I had over it. Everyone got their okay-ish ending, and most of all people could speculate what would become of Rory, kind of like the end of Season 7. Fine, leave it at that. Great ending. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

Emily’s story was perfect. Honestly, it was the best part. Kelly had fantastic lines and was tremendous. Amazing. Can’t think of enough adjectives. But for those of you who don’t know, Kelly really had to make it work. Her husband is ill, so one of the kids had to move up from Florida to stay with him while she was in California. It took a lot of finagling to get Kelly available. If her husband is ill would she want to do that again, and get a kid to take time off to help? So I get the feeling Kelly would be in very little (or watch ASP kill Emily off). Shame, because Lorelai’s relationship with her parents really makes the show for me.

Lorelai’s struggle over the death of her father was so wonderful. That phone call in Fall just about killed me. It was everything I wanted back in the original show. Again, Lorelai’s arc was just what I needed. Now with Luke. Most of the whole manufactured drama with Luke was because Amy said it always upset her that the fans never got the wedding they always wanted. So they needed a way to put the wedding in there. BUT THEN – they couldn’t even do the bigger wedding because shockingly all that money had to go into producing that stupid, annoying musical.  And what would be their great manufactured crisis now? (Watch, one of them gets deathly ill or something). And now Lauren has a pilot – what’s going to come of that and trying to get her in the Revival Part 2: All Night Dance Marathon Electric Boogaloo?

Rory’s career arc was just flabbergasting. The reviews were right – feels like it should be about Rory in her twenties. After all these years she couldn’t go hmmm I need a job? Nothing about her career makes sense. How does she afford to travel? What is she even doing? Then she gets her big break with eccentric Naomi to write a book, which goes down the toilet, won’t even bother to try with Suzy says and Conde Nast, just ew. And then Jess appears and after four years goes “write a different book about your mom!” Which let me tell you, angers me no end. Not only is it as meta as fuck, but this is not a “fix it”, Rory. She will still need money to live before the baby shows up. That’s if someone decides to publish it. Then she’d have to find a way to support herself after it is published. Just, ew. It’s a cheap as hell solution to a much larger problem. But again, everything is swept under the rug by ASP and Co! So Miss “I want to be the next Amanpour” will just be floundering in the Hollow? *vomits* 

I said long ago that I would be perfectly fine with whatever the Palladinos had in store regarding relationships. Naïve ole me thought they’d all just show up for a cameo. Listen, I never shipped. I still have magazines debating Jess versus Dean, but I didn’t shed a tear when they left. I was always like well Rory has moved on. Then the details of the revival came in. At first I thought, well the only one I could really see being all that serious would be Logan. Then spoilers trickled in and we knew he was in quite a bit, so it got me thinking. They spent a lot of money on Matt. Milo, who worked very little in early 2015, was only on set four days. It seems like Logan was going to be the contender. Alright, fine with me. I can deal with that. Makes sense. It was her most serious relationship and they loved each other very much. Can I go back to being that naïve again? 

Then Amy and Dan said “I don’t know why people pay attention to who she dated in high school. Over and done with.” (That makes it seem to me like Dean and Jess don’t have a future btw) Amy and Dan acting like Rory’s relationships are not a big deal just annoys me no end. They were a big deal. OBVIOUSLY, IT’S THE BIGGEST ONE OF THEM ALL BECAUSE OF THEIR DUMB ENDING. So that brings me to the boys. 

Dean was always the most blah. But his ending was great. Have fun shooting in Vancouver Jared because we really never need to see you again!

God, I’m so angry about Jess. We still don’t know very much about him, other than he’s an author and lives somewhere… and visits Stars Hollow often to see Luke and Doula. Still has a thing for Rory who just can’t really give him any attention (sad as hell). There’s so much I want to know about him! Again, they could have scratched that dumb musical for more Milo. He was available. I know Jess has a lot of fans, but I would personally need a lot of Rory/Jess scenes for a possible romance with Rory in Gilmore 2: Judgement Day. Rory said “I might have loved you,” but she never really reciprocated so I never got the feeling she ever did? So would Rory just go from not really paying attention to him for these last eight years to thinking he’s the love of her life? What? Even ASP and Dan went “they’re star-crossed and family now” so the rational side of me thinks that’s never going to happen. But then I think about how Luke was never intended for Lorelai but they changed because of the fans. And there are a lot of fans out there. But would Milo be involved in Revival Part 2: Return of the Krakenbaby? He’s in a popular show now. I don’t watch TV but I hear he has a big part.  Won’t he be busy?

Then Logan! We know nothing about Logan! Why is he working with his father? Why is he Rory’s sounding board? Why is he the only one who knows what’s going on with her? Logan is her best friend, more than Paris and Lane.  I know people don’t agree with me, but honestly, OS Rory and Logan had a mature, adult relationship. Logan understood her Stars Hollow and Yale life, didn’t disparage her about it, called her out on her privilege.  Again, naïve ole me thought that Amy and Dan thought Logan was it based on the way they wrote him with all those stupid marriage references. Boy was I wrong. Listen,   Alexis said we’d know who had won her heart. I think Alexis knows it’s Logan. So let me move onto this sham of a relationship they had. 

They are having an affair, but it doesn't seem like an affair because it’s pretty serious for them? She’s basically living with him. Remember, Naomi’s book was going to take eight weeks. So she’s living with him for those eight weeks and who know’s how long she’s been crashing there before. She’s getting her shit shipped there. So this has been going on long enough for her to have the audacity to do that? They are going on to eat all the time, having fun, he’s planning dates. They are both putting in the effort to have this serious affair when neither of them do not put that effort into their other lovers. AND THEN we learn about his fiancee. I was like wow what the hell Amy why are you both making them so shitty. And I was all aboard the Logan doesn’t care enough to break it off train because for some reason he still wants to marry Odette but then… DYNASTIC PLAN? WHY in the world would they write that if it didn’t have some meaning? So does he not want to marry her? Rory doesn’t want this nonrelationship either but won’t tell him? Okay, Amy and Dan could have easily made it a wham-bam-thanks for the sex type of relationship, but no they did not write it that way. They are putting feelings into this. Logan is begging her to tell him what’s happening. There’s such a disconnect between what they write and what they want to show. Why do Amy and Dan want us to believe they don’t care about each other in some capacity? ARE YOU SEEING WHAT YOU’RE WRITING?  So Rory are Logan are just going to shut up about what they really want in Revival Part 2: The Palladinos Strike Back Against Negative Reviews? Both will be unhappy? I just don’t get it. 

So Rory is pregnant. It’s not the Wookie’s, it’s not Jess’, it’s not Paul’s. They said the hints were there. It’s Logan’s, we all know it’s Logan’s, it goes with her full circle bullshit after all. I get the feeling that Amy was going for Rory not telling him and doing it alone because you know, Rory has to lead the shitty life, but it’s just WHAT? Lol, let’s be real. Lorelai will know it’s Logan’s. Even Lorelai told Chris and always had the door open for him to be involved for Rory’s sake. Luke would be okay with it now because… Amy wants him to be despite his history with Anna? And Logan is a freaking adult, not a damn teenager. He can support his kid. He needs to know about his kid. I don’t understand how someone she dated for three years, who proposed to her, would not like to know. This is not a one night stand. Wouldn’t he find out anyway through the grapevine? But let’s be real, he’s never going to know or be involved because it goes with Amy’s plan, despite everything she’s written to the contrary. She wants her story. Hey, if Amy actually made it a happy ending I would be shocked. But I put it at 0.001%. You know what does bring me joy, though? That Lauren, Alexis, Kelly, Milo & Matt were all upset about Rory’s ending and to repeat Kelly’s words, “it was mean.” Matt (who also has a pilot) is too nice to say no to them so he’d probably make an effort to appear and man, that’s depressing to see where Logan would be. 

Oh and let’s talk about this Life and Death Brigade business. These guys flew in from wherever the hell they were to take Rory out on the town because she was feeling upset. Something I found interesting – Rory has clearly kept in contact with them. She knows about Colin’s knee surgery. Again, Rory knows more what’s going on with her lover’s friends than her soon to be step-cousin Jess. She was putting more effort into keeping those relationships when it would have been so easy to get in contact with Jess. Then they have their big tearful goodbye where Rory is basically Mother Hen. So after all that, does ASP really think we’re to believe that pregnant Rory would just be ignored by these guys? That once they found out, one of them wouldn’t show up and be like “it’s Logans?” Remember, Colin and Finn helped Rory move out of her grandparents after she and Logan broke up. They are friends. So I don’t get it. Once again, there’s that disconnect between what ASP writes and what she wants to show.

So let’s talk about Amy’s grand plan. She and Dan said the father was going to be who was under contract at the time of the show’s ending. I’m also going to assume that it was going to be with whomever Rory recently broke up with. Someone on Reddit put together a list of each boyfriend and all their Chris comparisons (can’t copy it here), and it’s obvious now that’s what they were going for all along. And you know, after looking at that, the one I could believe that could fit that role best would have been Jess Season 3. Jess was so lost at that point and left without telling her, without a way for Rory to contact him. Rory going off on her own would have been believable. Dean, not really. Even if the relationship was doomed, Mr. Dean “I like the Donna Reed show type of life” would still be in contact with the kid. Let’s talk about Logan now.  Season 5 maybe? But Logan, the one that walked out on his family after the disastrous dinner, wouldn’t somehow be around for Rory? (And let’s remember Shira was pregnant, and that’s why Mitchum married her). Season 6 is baffling because they parted so in love and Rory is living in the apartment. She can’t hide the baby.  Season 7? (I know that’s not her season but come on) Lol, the dude wanted to marry her, Amy. So even if that was Amy’s plan all along, there’s that disconnect coming up again! 

Well, I feel I’ve gone too far yet again tonight. This is a mess.  TL;DR: I won’t be watching it Revival Part 2: The Curse of the Netflix Sequel. Part of the magic of AYITL was that they were able to bring everyone back. This isn’t Arrested Development. There are too many power players with busy lives. Could it happen? Maybe. As for me (if they do this) - I’m going to finish up the stories I’ve started/have planned and say goodbye to this fandom. I feel like the revival ruined Rory for me. Melodramatic, sure, but it’s just so sad and heartbreaking. It’s like Emily and Lorelai got these wonderful arcs and Rory became like Walter White (bad analogy but I’m tired give me a break). Jess, Logan, and Paris got shitty endings, too.  There’s a lot of happiness I wish I’d see, but knowing Amy, god knows what she has planned. And frankly, I just don’t want to feel sick to my stomach again.