#uncomfortable being seen

[ourmadramblr]

I feel uncomfortable being seen 🙃 but I’m working on it 🙂

[666jevil]

As a gay male man who has strong platonic friendships with other men i am absolutely baffled someone can look at jayvik and think its a "brotherly" love. I have a brother that i love. My relationship with him is strong. If i say any of the shit jayvik said to each other to my brother, he would call me gay and wonder if im dying.

[ebenelephant]

all i'm saying

[untalentedace]

Very rough comic thingie on something that never gets talked about! (in the way I view it at least.)

I hear a lot of people talk about the SA in the show, some of which used for gags. But I've only seen it talked about with the girl characters. Yagi gets mobbed by fangirls in the movie and kissed, unknown if consensual or not? (I see it as SA personally) Only heard it talked about three times in the past 4 years I've been in this fandom! I feel like if he were younger and not a guy, it'd probably be brought up more, considering other sa gags in the series get brought up.

Sure he's been seen letting people touch him in the first few episodes, but still, I'm giving the gag a more serious thought. I'd imagine that after having it happen for so long, he'd be more used to it and allow the touches (whilst feeling discomfort inside), which... Doesn't make it right. This is for me and the... 3 others who think of this scene in a more negative way, aha 😅

[embv]

I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”

I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”

There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.

But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.

[erabu-san]

I love Tighnari and Cyno's relationship sooo much man. They clearly care about each other so much and love each other. I love them just. Being them. I honestly find friendships to be so much more compelling than romantic ones. Not that I don't like romantic relationships- but the platonic ones just...hit different.

Right right ?! There is this authentic friendship when you can trust each other. Also the comfort of knowing there is someone on your back, always here for you,,, of course, you also find this in romance trope.

But it is also a common trope in friendship that we tend to forget. What true friends are ! A choosen home, a found family. With who you can spend hours without noticing time passing, with who you don't talk for months but you know it doesn't shutter your friendship and when you meet again, it becomes an euphoric moment. There is something more deep between Tighnari and Cyno than just "romance"

Tbh I see in them my dynamic with my friends or with my brothers, and I love my friends so much <3 when everything was difficult, and I didn't trust myself enough to save me, I trust my friends. And I was right to trust them ! And that's it, if one them start to doubt themself, they can trust their friend. That's how authentic and meaningful their friendship are !! And.. the found family trope is make it more important too

I already talk about how family is important for Cyno (did I?? I don't remember if I talk about this in public), morever than his family are not related by blood (Cyrus, Lisa... Tighnari is as much as important for Cyno). Maybe it is because I have brothers and lucky of us we are united, but I believe that for man, having a brother is as deepful as a romance story (not saying that romance is bad i'm sorry !! I love romance) (maybe I'm also biased because I am in aromantic spectrum <//3) (and maybe not only for men ??)

Anyway !! I feel like we tend to prioritized romance than friendship, as a pyramidical system. But for me, their intensity in love are similar, it is just a different kind of love. It is like.. two differents pillars than a pyramide !

[beanghostprincess]

Repeat it with me! "Nakedness and SA scenes aren't always fanservice and sometimes they're just things that happen in the story ESPECIALLY when the main character is a woman who's part of a very sexualized subculture! And they're not portrayed in a good light! And if you believe they should not exist because they make you uncomfortable perhaps you should leave the internet and touch some fucking grass!"

[smartzelda]

Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one

I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)

And here's why.

I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.

In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses

When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.

Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.

For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.

Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy

You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters

And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.

Here's another example.

Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin

Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).

Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.

Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.

Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?

This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[hoofpeet]

It feels like a lot of the ppl who are asking you to trigger tag the derealization stuff r probably the same people to ask for trigger tags on self harm scars. Like yeah mayb some ppl might be triggered by them but it's also a very real part of someone's body (+life) that they r always living with. And it's weird to ask someone to trigger tag that??? Like what a fucked up thing to say to someone? No you can't have your arms uncovered in your own space because it makes me upset to see that part of you/no you can't make a mild vent post on your own blog because it makes me upset to see that part of your life?? The unfollow/block button is right there goddam. Just walk out you can leave and all that. Anyway ur post really resonated with me and I'm so sorry for all the hate you got over it

YEAH people treating any kind of scarring as some sort of taboo subject is also really annoying to me.. Putting effort into any art starts to not feel worth it when people expect to like. Take everything they want from you while ignoring whatever they don't want to 'deal with'.... very very disheartening to be expected to be quiet about normal parts of my life while. also pouring all my time into making art for other's enjoyment . Like an internet jester

-neway ! Glad my post helped a little at least- it was nice to see others relate to it, so whatever weird discourse it sparked is worth dealing with if it comforted anyone 👍

[bannock-freak]

The thing about the kokomins....

Yes theyre creeps. 100%.

Theyre also a self-regulating body of people who enforce the good behaviour of all their members in regards to Teruhashi, and allow her to live a mostly unaccosted life. They are nasty pieces of work who threaten to kill Saiki just because he was seen with her and invoked their jealousy and wrath, and then they immediately back down because they think Saiki is Teruhashi's baby daddy, and they don't even shame Teruhashi for the teen pregnancy they think she had. She can do no wrong in their eyes. They decide amongst themselves who is the most privileged among them to even approach her, and rigidly enforce the rules that say who can and can't talk to her without her approaching them first, as though Teruhashi has no say in the matter.

There are adults in the government who are card carrying kokomins. and that's WEIRD. and the implications are nasty.

there are other implications, though, that i don't see get talked about. which is, why wouldn't the Japanese government want to keep an eye on The Perfect Pretty Girl? To protect her at the highest possible level? To ensure that other countries won't snap her up and use her for world domination. Teruhashi is basically Akira, to me. That girl's Angel Beam would take over the world only a little slower than Saiki could.

now. follow me on this.

what if it was Teruhashi who founded the Kokomins?

She's been stalked. She's been harrassed. She's been stopped in the streets. And a lot of people are so enchanted by her that they take her no for what it is. But there are some people who Don't - her own brother among them. Teruhashi is wicked smart. I'm sure she was just as smart as a little girl who grew up too fast and would see where things were going. Who was scared and awe-struck by turns of the effects she had on other people.

Especially on men.

And in a patriarchal society, that can be dangerous. But with that patriarchy bowing at her feet, it can also grant her power. And Teruhashi loves power.

We see her work in very subtle ways to enforce the heirarchy she's at the top of. She doesn't technically even have to do anything except exist and tell the truth to let Imu know who the TRUE queen is.

Her family is, judging by the size of her house, probably also wealthy. Perhaps wealthy enough that her family rubs elbows with the elite of society. And perhaps one party was all it took for Teruhashi to let loose a couple of glimmering, pearlescent tears at the Prime Minister himself and confess in a soft shaking voice how scared she is.....

Boom.

The Teruhashi Protection Squad is born - IE, the Kokomins, whose canon goal is to protect Teruhashi's happiness and destroy anybody who might put a stain on that.

Idk, it's an unpopular opinion to have, to say theyre creeps with a purpose, but I don't think it's a stretch either. Just consider how often she turns into a cult leader in AUs - iirc it was demonstrated in canon at least once and happened in the light novels as well.

Teruhashi is the most powerful woman on the planet. Why wouldn't she have an organization dedicated to furthering her goals, ykno?

She shouldn't need to have to, and they're creeps, 100%, but they're also weaponized creeps that Teruhashi has turned in her own favour, imo, and I think that goes a long way in demonstrating her cool-factor.

[realtapiocafan]

Okay I am new to this side of the Joe fandom and I’m on the spectrum so don’t mind me if this is a stupid question but I have to ask: Do we actually think they’re gay/bi/pan? If so is it like a closeted relationship or repressed feelings they don’t act on

ok, i had to stew over this for like a week and figure out how to word it.

do we actually believe that joemarr is real?

*whistles through my teeth* whew boy, tough question.

ok, for me, i like to explore joemarr's relationship from a romantic lens, because whether you truly believe that joe and ja'marr want to fuck each other, you can't deny that they have a special relationship. they mean a lot to each other. they've been together for the better part of a decade. their careers will forever be defined by each other.

it's very important to be reminded of reality though, and the reality is that homosexuality in the NFL (and throughout every major American sport tbh) is practically taboo. and you can't really get around that fact when you're discussing rpf.

(that being said, there are moments (cough cough jerseygate) where i'm like '... idk man, there is kind of only one way to interpret that')

so i guess i would say: realistically not, but who's stopping you from thinking your own thoughts?

2. what is the exact situation of their relationship, assuming that they are in a relationship?

that really does depend on the person and how they interpret joemarr's behavior.

like ik @chasedeys has amazing posts where she goes in DEPTH about joemarr and their relationship and what phase they might be in (@cementcornfield has some awesome thoughts too)

if i did have to say what i think their relationship is... honestly joemarr does has some very 'dancing around each other and our own feelings' vibes to them. mostly because the whole 'we can read each other's mind' is so romantic on its face, but also a minefield for miscommunication because, bitch you cannot actually read each other's mind.

and also they're very... uhh. how do i phrase this. ok, it's different when it's ja'marr, that's obvious, just looking at the two of them. you will always see tee and joe hugging each other to celebrate (broncos game, signing day, afc championship, etc etc). meanwhile joe and ja'marr are always doing their pinky shake. and the pinky shake is very special to them, i get it, but it's just not as physically affectionate as joetee's celebrations. and i do think it says something, that joe and tee are comfortable seeking affection openly in public like that, while joe and ja'marr are not. they keep their relationship almost obsessively to themselves. i've talked a lot about their relationship and how the public (us) really don't know that much about them, but it bears mentioning again. their relationship, despite both being public figures, is private.

now, part of the beauty of rpf and specifically, the insanely small community here, is that none of that actually matters.

repressed feelings and miscommunications? always always here for it! secret relationship? can never get enough fics of that imo! pining idiots? a thousand times yes! imagine what you want! no one can stop you!

[rhymaes]

another genius element of mxtx protagonists is how one of the love interest always toes the line of potential victimhood Just enough to make you concerned while reading & then you see their interactions with the other love interest & it's like! oh! they're both fucking freaks! i get it now

[garbagequeer]

really don't care if women seem smug when something comes out about a misogynist and they say they always got a bad vibe or whatever. making sure those women arent being rude is not more important to me than wanting to know what made them uncomfortable. we gotta stop acting like no one ever spots these guys when a minority of women often do they just get labelled uptight for it and are made to feel they shouldn't say it. well im never going to be the one acting like women should keep it to themselves when they think something is off. specially if they're proven right

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Atlas: Taryn? Hey!

Atlas: What happened-

Taryn: Please don’t. 

Atlas: Can you talk to me?

Taryn: [ strained ] What is there to say that you don’t already know? I keep asking myself why you’re so nice to me all of a sudden. Why would someone like you be around someone like me and it’s such a… Mind-fuck. 

Atlas: I swear to you, it isn’t like that-

Taryn: Am I just a one night stand?

Atlas: [ stammers ] N-No! 

Taryn: Convincing.

Atlas: I’m sorry it wasn’t a good enough response, I’m just caught off guard. Why would you assume that?

Taryn: Because my questions made sense the minute you walked out of that building and there was lipstick smeared all over your face. Then you gave me this look, something about it made me realize I wasn’t the first and I don’t think I’d be the last. 

Atlas: [ flatly ] We didn’t even catch each other's name, that’s how little it meant. 

Taryn: [ barely a whisper ] Oh now that’s incredibly fucked up… Was that supposed to make me feel better?

Atlas: Bee-

Taryn: [ voice breaks ] Was it worth it? [ pauses ] Don’t… Answer that. I’m… Gonna go now.

[words-after-midnight]

Eternally confused and bewildered re: people being shocked and outraged about horror (especially contemporary, psychological & gothic subgenres) addressing dark/taboo/potentially triggering topics. It's... horror? It's supposed to tackle the distressing and horrific and uncomfortable. I genuinely don't get this.

[free-luigi-mangione]

exactly! he wasn't trying to become "famous" and every little detail about his life has been dissected and people are overanalyzing and projecting into his life (for ex. his relationship with his parents). i feel really bad when i read people speculating, i admit i'm also curious but i never went on a hunt for pictures or wrote to people in his life to get info, there's a line and the fact that he's a normal guy and i could go and cross it doesn't mean i should. what truly worries me is his safety when he'll step out there (i'm brain-whashing myself into thinking he'll make it out of there asap) because there are so many people who are crossing boundaries and acting like crazy fan girls, and i use that term because it's the type of behaviour i've only seen for popstars, and i believe some people are on just on the point of crossing the "stalker" line unfortunately. i truly hope he hasn't received any creepy mail, he has his life on the line and the last thing he has to worry about are creeps. i hope those people who are there to treat him like the pop it boy of the moment will stop treating him like that and start seeing a human being.

i really don't like it when people psychoanalyse him, like please just make sure he gets out and he'll get himself a therapist to psychoanalyse things with if he wants to (he will probably need it too, because everything that's been happening and will keep happening is too much for a person to handle) none of us needs to psychoanalyse him and inspect him like a bug under the microscope tho, we can give him some privacy and respect and minimal dignity that should be afforded to every human no matter their present situation

i'm also brainwashing myself into believing that he'll hopefully get out soon enough, because i can't look at the other option and accept it in any way

he can't get any letters like that anyways, all letters are screened and photocopied (some are read to check contents usually for others, for him who knows what's happening, maybe they're reading everything too just because) and only then does he get the letters, by which of course i mean he only gets the photocopies and not the actual written letter, so there's almost zero chance anything not strictly nice has gotten to him yet