#ummmm i love having interesting reactions to things

[callibones]

[ronearoundblindly]

I just want to start this off by saying you are one of my favorite Steve writers of all time I can’t believe I just randomly found you one day. Every time I read something I think “oh this is her best” and then I go to something else and literally the same reaction so thank you of sharing this for free. The comfort reading your Steve stories give me is unexplainable.

LOL the funniest thing is I found your works on ao3 first and at first I didn’t click the tumblr there so when I found the CEO au here I was like “um excuse me who tf is plagiarizing — oh wait no same person. Thank god”

So I don’t know how you feel about writing about pregnancy and kids but Steve having to deal with that especially in the Sun Salt and Shield AU is so hilarious to me. Is there a hc you have about that? Or just in general about them getting more serious. I love that you didn’t take the easy way out and just “Splash”ify the mermaid reader.

Um🥹😚, all of this is great, and I'm not trying to just skip over all your lovely compliments (also, good looking out on the plagiarism because that issue's going around again 🥲). I just want to jump right into the headcanon of pregnancy and kids for Sun, Salt, and Shield.

This is mostly rambling. Sorry it's not well-formed, but there *might* be a chapter of fic percolating from this. No warnings. No detailed talk of pregnancy or birth, only vague reference.

Just the other day I revisited an ask about MissG/Doll not having the more humanoid body of idk-what-to-call-them classical mermaids?? And I wondered if that (the classic look) could have been a blended species from way in the past between deep sea mermaids and humans--essentially, would Doll and Steve have children that looked more like what we typically see as mermaids?

It's an interesting train of thought, and, frankly, perfectly logical. If they had a kid or kids, that's likely how I'd do it.

However--and this is a big HOWEVER,--I am admittedly not a big fan of pregnancy, kidfics, and all that 'adorable' parenthood stuff. Sounds a little cruel that way, but there you have it. I'm me. I make things more complicated than they need to be.

I would make pregnancy a different experience from humans. Doll's kind would have a different mentality toward offspring than humans. Some hilarious and/or angsty misunderstandings could ensue.

For example--because I don't think too deeply into these matters, shhhh--based on the sheer size of her whole species, I don't think deep sea mermaids visibly look pregnant like humans. Their hips simply get wider and they sort of thicken all the way through their torsos to mid-tail. Honest to goodness, humans truly just think Miss G is getting fat, but just in a 'putting on weight' way, not a nasty judgy way. In this event, and since you/G do not have the vocabulary to explain, your pregnancy goes unnoticed until it is very advanced.

To you, this is a common inevitability in the sea between mates, but there isn't the type of hoopla--for lack of a better term--surrounding the process.

So you're pregnant? Big deal?

Ummmm, wow, the wheels are really starting to turn on this, but also your species doesn't have a calculated sense of time. You live in mostly darkness (and the ambient/changing light of other mermaids' tails), so you wouldn't have any real way of explaining how long gestation for a baby is. Likely, the kid would grow super fast, too. Means Tony still doesn't know the average lifespan of your species because there are no common/known markers to describe how long your 'elders' have been alive.

Stuff I haven't worked out yet: would the child of a deep sea mermaid and a human be able to live in either native environment? That's where I'm thinking the lower-depth, classic mermaid comes into play; still has fins, can breathe air for short periods (but longer than you), probably can't handle heavy pressure for very long though (since you spend far longer in a pool, not the pressure chamber asleep, than most deep sea-ers while pregnant), and is lighter colored in scales and features than you due to the shallower water (more affected by sunlight).

I do think it would be cute for the child to have Steve's blond hair and blue eyes simply because that is unheard of in your species (as are the paler scales and armoring. I should mention that since you have lavender eyes--i.e. very light sensitive--human blue eyes are comparatively dark.

You'll notice I'm not saying son or daughter. When newborn young...I don't think anyone can tell if the child is male or female. I don't thing G's species cares, and I think you'd be very confused by how intently Tony and Steve try to figure that out. Conceptually, it simply doesn't matter at all what sex the kid is until puberty, and even then...it still sort of doesn't??

Hmm. That's all I got on this for now, but I sense I could probably come up with some interesting angst with a happy ending from it.

Thank you for asking!

A/N: Not that it matters, but I love 'Splash.' I've learned that it's fine to explore fantastical things to all sorts of degrees, and as almost all of fandom can tell you, fluff is great, fluff is necessary, and fluff keeps us afloat. Big HOWEVER, it is not okay to wash away anyone's race or heritage (in this case--obviously fake--a species' culture). Be respectful. It's that easy.

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@fandom-has-taken-me-hostage @leah2901 @blogbog710

[kaija-rayne-author]

13th review in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

98 steam hours logged, 84 game hours logged on final save, (the listing in the game itself) actual gameplay hours (-2 for time in CC) either 96 or 82... depending.

14 hour discrepancy between game logged hours and steam logged hours is likely how much trouble the game gave me in loading, reloading, glitching, and crashing. Do I get to charge Bioware for those lost hours of my life?

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip it if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and everything else DA, I'm a Lore fiend.

My pithy pre-end sequence commentary.

Section 12 here.

END GAME SPOILERS

End game spoilers for BG3 too.

13 is my lucky number, but even that couldn't save it. I can't think of a single thing that can save this disaster of a game. I'll write a more professional wrap-up review post too, this is my reaction portion.

I've finished the final sequence of the game. Sat through the credits of probably a thousand people who worked on this piece of shit and still thought it releasable. AND saw the 'easter egg/future game possibility scene'. My kid said I got a hint of hope back in my eyes for about 10 seconds when that final scene popped up then the light faded again. Apparently the 'long slow horrified stare of death' was all over my face again.

Loading in, I dreaded everything I was about to see. Veilguard had already disappointed me in so many ways. I didn't have any hope the final sequence would be any better.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. It was worse. Yes. Honestly.

In all fairness (even if I really don't want to be fair right now) the last sequence does contain some of the best material in the game. If they'd actually written the rest of it with that kind of passion it probably would've been a better game. But that doesn't actually make it good. And how any average person makes it to the final sequence is beyond me. I'm stuck in bed. I've got an excuse.

So. I expected it to be long. That part didn't bother me that much. Most Dragon Age games have long final sequences.

The positive! Ummmm? Oh! I actually did get an intimate scene with Lucanis. His timing stinks but whatever. I did actually get one. I mean, it was one your aunt who's a nun probably wouldn't have found racey, but it exists! Dude. It's 2024, there's this cool toggle function you can click off if you don’t want nudity. It's a Mature rated game and I'm pretty sure most of us know what sex is. Give paying customers what they want!

My least favourite character died.

I called it on Solas killing Varric in the first scene. Interesting twist they did with that, though. Told y'all. I didn't want it to happen either, but the writing was on the wall in great big letters in drippy red paint from the second they fired Mary Kirby (Varric's writer.) In case you want more details than snark on that? Varric did indeed die when Solas stabbed him in the beginning. What you see throughout the game is Solas messing with Rook's mind because Solas needs Rook to work with him. Varric died before the story actually started. That last line of his 'take care of the team' told me. But I got taken in by the twist too. Bet that was a Weekes twist. 'It’s right in front of you the whole time.'

Elgar'nan made a WAY better final boss fight than Coryphyfish.

I did legitimately love watching Teia and Viago fight as crows. That was a really awesome section. (They're two of my favourite characters from Tevinter Nights.)

The bad.

There is no way for me to list it all. So here's the highlight reel.

Varric died.

They lifted almost the entire final battle sequence from BG3. The tentacle they have to climb to the fancy building in the sky. People falling and almost dying by tumbling down the tentacle, having to fight through said self-destructing fancy building in the sky... I know you can't copyright an idea. As an author, I understand and approve of that. But you should at least make the idea a wee bit unrecognizable as to where you lifted it from. Y'know?

Yay! We got to see Solas in wolfie form! He looks like a Chinese hairless crested dog on a really bad day. Like... really needs to go to the salon and have a bath day. I really wish I were joking.

Called it on the Solavellan ending. And NO. Trick Weekes. That DOES NOT give a suggestion of a Happy Fucking Ending. Read some fucking Romance. GOOD romance. (They do. And I'm being very mature by not calling out one of the authors they read who was one of the ones who harassed me off of Twitter. Oh. No. Two of them I've seen Trick mention as books they've read were involved in that. I guess looking at the people someone likes and respects is kinda indicative... isn't it?)

What's that say about me? I don't like very many people. I get along with people as best as my autistic/AuDHD ass can but I don't LIKE very many people at all. Nor do people tend to like me. I have no compunction about calling someone on bullshit. It makes people cranky, but I've had enough bullshit in my life. And I respect about the same amount of people as I like. If I can't respect you? I can't like you. (For anyone who does actually know me... I don't mean you. If I talk with you privately? Or even if I'm willing to? I both like and respect you. Or I wouldn't bother talking to you privately. I'm shit at reaching out. But if we've talked more than once in any form of privacy? You've made the list of my cranky ass.)

Am I a bitch? Probably. Live my life and see if you'd be any different.

No intimate scene for Solas and Inky. After ten years of waiting for Solavellans. After all the shitting on Solas we had to put up with in DAV (and OMFG there was soooo much!!) No actual happy ending. No intimate scene. Oh, but you do get a rather grody kiss between them because he's just been fighting and has blight all over his face. But yay? They get to kiss? With absolutely no passion at all. Maybe the passion of a bavarian cream pastry? A rotten one? Ew. Before dissolving into fade gook.

The entire time I spent in CC for my Inky to make her look like my player character from DAI? It didn't show up in the final sequence. And no way was I replaying that hellscape to see if it MIGHT could be coaxed into actually showing her the way I made her. I just got the stock body.

So... y'know the veil? That edge of reality that has been getting more and more holes in it throughout the entire history of the Dragon Age Franchise? The veil that the Lore has been pretty clear about it strangling both the magic and the life out of THEDAS? Not to mention everything the elves lost because of it? That veil?

It's all better now. Regardless of the Lore. Because Solas bound his life force to it. So instead of a quick bandage being pulled off to get rid of the veil that really does need to go (y'know if Bioware writers actually gave a rat's ass about the fucking lore of the world they're writing in)... Now it's there until Solas dies... which he can't really do easily being one of the first Elves. Sooooo by the very lore of the world they've crafted... THEDAS is now doomed to die.

Congrats Bioware. Well done. /s

Oh, but THAT doesn't matter. Because everything from the very beginning of DAO has been 'influenced' by 'the ones from across the sea'.

Pardon me while I gag.

The entirety of THEDAS and everything that's ever gone wrong with it is the fault of 'the foreigners from across the sea who wear clothing that's kiiiinda a lot like a Burqa.' Y'know... the black over gowns and veils Afghani women and some other Muslim folks wear?

Cause... uh... yeah. That's a GREAT idea. I legitimately cannot believe they went there. I just... I can't. Bioware hasn't ever really been great on the racism front but I'd hoped they'd gotten at least a little bit better.

Nooooope.

There were a couple of mentions of something like 'the gathering storm' in Taash's quests and how she's a weapon against them. HUGE spoiler I'm sure, but I'm pretty sure they want to make a game that deals with 'the foreign invaders who have been subtly influencing everything wearing black burqas and veils' as the next Dragon Age. Or maybe they'll call it a spin off since it has to be getting close to the end of the actual Dragon Age in the calendar.

I really hope I'm not the only one who can see the issues there. Not that I expect Bioware to. Honestly? I used to pray that DAV would save Bioware. I've liked them as a company for a while, but this is it for me. I'm done.

I might enjoy the first three DA games occasionally if I feel like it. But DAV does not exist for me. Anything they make going forward does not exist for me. That fucking bullshit about no one having had any free choices in the entire history of the games/books/comics etc.? AND the next game's bad guys looking like they wear burqas?

Bioware has made my boycott list. And I honestly hope they sink like the fucking Titanic for the shit they've pulled in DAV and that last fucking scene.

With that scene, they not only shit on many cultures who veil, they shit specifically on Afghani people who are required to wear that. Whether they want to or not.

They also, from a writing perspective, removed every single bit of agency from any of their previous characters. Making every single game pointless in the history of the world.

I'm just done. My boycott list is pretty long. I have these pesky standards. I'd already compromised them by continuing on with playing Bioware games regardless of their well known issues. But nope. Done. Finite. Time to cut the rope and watch it sink.

I would never, in a million years, recommend this game. On those two reasons alone. But also because it doesn't do anything a good CRPG (Computer Role Playing Game) is supposed to do very well.

It doesn't hold up the Dragon Age expectations for anyone who has played the games or enjoyed the lore. They basically shoved all the lore under the proverbial carpet. (Must have made a hell of a lump. That's a LOT of Lore. Trust me. I know. I've marinated myself in it.) On the surface it LOOKS like a CRPG. It has the elements of one... but so few of the elements are carried through that it's kinda shocking to me that they dared to advertise it as one. I mean... didn't someone tell them pissing off people by advertising something they aren't delivering is a bad idea?

It's full of easily fixable plot holes. Seriously, they'd be so easy to fix! They just didn't bother.

Where DAI was an intricately woven adult CRPG masterpiece? DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet with arm sized holes in it and lots and lots of stains. Made for kids.

CRPGs have a long history. Bioware and Dragon Age do too. DAO came out in 2009, Dragon Age 2 released in 2011, both were solid CRPGs. You felt like you were playing a role playing game. Bioware then released DAI in 2014. And in the Dragon Age series, DAI is the crown jewel.

It had everything a CRPG is supposed to have. It wasn’t perfect, no, but it's definitely the best of all 4 games for being what it's supposed to be.

CRPGs generally do not challenge the player as far as manual dexterity or physical response time. That's for action/fighting games. I'm not a professional level gamer. But gaming is my number one hobby and source of entertainment. I play on hard level for most games I play, if not ultra hard. I struggled with the shitty DAV fighting system. Dear gods, who had the brilliant idea of tying accumulation of skill points to how high your bond is with your companions? That's just... the kindest thing I can say is poorly thought out. Especially when you can only take two of them with you on missions. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have had aggro. And they always did. I'm intimately acquainted with the inside the mouth animations on the dragons.

RPGs are supposed to have intricate, layered world building, a levelling system that makes your characters grow and develop as they progress through a well developed world, often they have fighting, puzzles, and other mechanics to spice things up. But there's some very specific things an RPG needs. And DAV has so few of them. They focussed so much on that shitty gods damned fighting system that had my not-a-fucking-rogue always plastered with the 'come eat me' aggro flag that they failed to deliver on so much else that an RPG needs to have. Especially a CRPG.

I think I heard someone on the dev team say they were quite happy with how the characters and romances came out and um. Well. Might I politely suggest learning how to write better? Cause they weren't. From both a professional and consumer level? They just weren't good.

The characters were dishwater boring with no character development possible. The romances were... not. I'll just leave it there.

Those are a few things I KNOW I'm good at. Just because my fans have told me often enough that I've almost internalized it by now. What? Characterization, writing intimate scenes, and writing romance. My writing voice is very love/hate like many authors. If you love my voice and read kinky romance, you'd probably like it. If you don't like my voice? No story I tell will satisfy you. But from an editorial and writing standpoint? The characters and romances in DAV needed so much work. As much as the plot.

I'm no stranger to trauma. And yes. I did it to myself. I needed to play the ending for myself and I wanted to see what the game was like. I feel traumatized. Abso-fucking-lutely traumatized.

If you're Solavellan and looking for reviews to tell you whether it's worth buying and playing? It. Is. Not. On any level.

Oh and you know those Steam Achievements you get? At the beginning they were like in the high 90s and 80s percentages. The last two I got were from the end game. 2.2% and 6.8%. Respectively. According to my kid (who usually knows more than I do about things like that) that means people stopped playing before they got there. (Or possibly just haven't gotten there yet. I did play it reasonably fast because of my current circumstances.)

I really wish I could say better things about this game. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the other three. As much as I've loved most Dragon Age material. Something about it just captured me. Until DAV.

More professional review to follow at some point.

If my review series has been helpful... and I really really hate to ask, but if it has been? My work of words is my family's only income. My partner is still recovering from a broken back, and I'm recovering from a pulmonary embolism. Money is so tight it squeaks. If you're not gonna buy the game anyway after reading my blather, a tip would surely be appreciated.

All my links are at the bottom of my website. And the tips button up top is set up too.

My response to breaking media blackout.

[horrorknife]

handing you the microphone. tell me more about hoffheight.

oh Man. you dont even know what u have done........

ok so um . i think that there are a myriad of interesting ways for them to Meet each other but i think their relationship for the most part stays consistent. i've done a lot of thinking and Rp Writing for this because i am . Insane LOL

at first i just thought they'd have interesting interactions but the more i thought about it the more i realized that they are both a) the Most prey animal of the jigsquad (i count adam by proxy because. he has to be in order for my nefarious deeds to work. but that's a whole other topic i can't get into here lol) and b) the same type of defensive and angry person who is really just terrified at the world around them.

adam's strongest (onscreen) bond is lawrence (altho i am tempted 2 say he is the deepest bond he has. genuinely. lol cant get into that here either tho) and mark's is angelina. both of them are forcefully ripped away from them, and both of them deal w it by turning to Anger. (no one lets adam be fucking mad enough. well enough i say. im here to fix the softboy fandomification of this guy.) i think they could find a good common ground after getting to know each other.

at first i think adam really enjoys trying to poke at hoffman to get reactions, and hoffman is so annoyed but also intrigued because he does Not get this guy. so they treat each other like culture samples in petri dishes for a while. at first its just like smoke breaks or adam (who is actually p adept at engineering after learning some of it) helping mark fix things on his prototypes. they just chat idly or enjoy the silence, and both of them are constantly internally like This Is So Weird But I Actually Kind Of Like Being Around You

i like to think their relationship isn't really romantic but it's not platonic either. if they were NORMAL people it would be a qpr but they're fucking crazy people so it's just a weird situationship. they love and care for each other a LOT a lot a lot. i like to think adam is hoffman's little pet cat and he's always giving him pepper spray and new knives and shit for self defense bc he's incredibly protective of him. i don't think he'd like the idea of lawrence coming around and interacting w adam again because he had to see adam struggle and help him recover from the emotional damage lawrence did to him.

i also think that while adam does round hoffman's sharp edges out just a little, it's much more interesting to explore how mark's influence makes adam More violent (bc hes already predisposed to violence and i think mark could absolutely capitalize on that)

i could say so much more about them adkjfngjkfn but ummmm. to tie this post off have this hoffheight hoffman doodle i did for a warmup last night

edit: oh and i should really mention that they are constantly up and down w each other, those 2 men have such short tempers that they would absolutely fight and argue and yell at each other. theyre explicitly toxic for each other as all saw ships should be. this is necessary.

[menelaiad]

UMMMM so what can you tell us about the Agamemnon Goes To Ithaka timeline? (And if you want to avoid spoilers, what gave you the idea?)

uhhh if it wasn't painfully obvious already, i am obsessed with agamemnon and odysseus' dynamic and the very little we get of it in homeric works and beyond implies a ...familiarity. a friendship, i guess. but we get no 'backstory' for them. and i just wanted to explore that side of it a bit more. how would they interact and behave when meeting during ....... those very turbulent years of agamemnon's life.

also, at a base level, they operate a very similar role - princes. sons to kings. heirs to kingdoms. and odysseus' journey on that path is pretty smooth sailing. agamemnon's isn't. and i think that would effect agamemnon's behaviour and such. but he still has that loyalty to odysseus. agamemnon seems very scared and desperate to please odysseus in a lot of the hcu works. and that's so interesting to think maybe why???

also. not only do them as individuals and them as a pair fascinate me, but the relationships with their families. for two characters who operate a similiar role in the politics of their homes.... their relationships to their families (fathers especially) is so so so different. and going to ithaka to see odysseus and laertes will show agamemnon that difference. and i think his reaction to that and his feelings towards that would really interesting. they also both have mothers who are very different. they also both have siblings, whom they both love.

in the fic, menelaus is still sent to sparta. they're kinda split to get rid of that 'strength in numbers' thing. ithaka is smaller than sparta so if aga is sent there he'll be less trouble etc. etc. so - the trojan war still happens. helen and menelaus meet. and that is all the same. but. agamemnon never meets clytemnestra. there is no iphigenia. there is no affair. there is no revenge. how does that change aga? how does that change everything? because that fear of odysseus and that need to get to troy thats present in IIA will still be there. but in a different way.

plus i want them to kiss and go on ithakan adventures and to give myself, if nobody else, that stupid slowburn, forced proximity, strangers to slight enemies to friends to lovers. the bottom line is that: agaody slaps and i cant stop.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Before she released devil in disguise, I had a theory that Kleypas would write a book for seraphina (evie and sebastian's younger daughter) and foxhall (lillian and marcus' oldest son) with the she's all grown up trope. After devil in disguise was announced I scrapped that lol. I wonder if she plans on writing more for the other children tho, raphael would be interesting since he was out of the country during devil in spring, devil's daughter and devil in disguise, so we know almost nothing about him.

I also thought Raphael was getting set up for a book because of his absence and also his name? It's a very classic romance hero name.

Tbh, in order to pull it off, I think it would be best for her to keep him wherever he is. First off, I think Lisa could use something new and fresh if she goes back to historicals. (I would not be surprised if she took another contemporary break.) Like, put that shit in France or Italy or something.

And then... I honestly don't want another St. Vincent cameofest. I'm kind of over it. I liked Devil in Disguise, but that wasn't St. Vincent to me, and I'm kind of over him being brought in to prop up inferior narratives.

So like. He and Evie can send Raphael letters.

But yeah otherwise I think she kinda needs to refresh and look into other people. I think Lorraine Heath does a really good job of keeping her universe interlocked without like... overconnecting.

Like, The Scoundrels of St. James was probably her most successful series, and she did a spinoff series about the kids, yes. But first off--I think it being just baldly a spinoff series was way smarter than it being spun as something else, then shoving the Scoundrels in heavy. Yes, Hellions of Havisham kicks off with the hero falling for Jack and Olivia Dodger's daughter, but it's still allowed to breathe. I don't think the other two books really connect to them at all.

Second, she's let them trickle off. She had her shorter series, she introduced Mick Trewlove in her Lost Lords of Pembrook trilogy but didn't then keep shoving them in... She established the Trewloves as a new anchoring piece for her now that the Scoundrels are kinda retired except for cameos. The Stanwicks connect but don't rely. Her next book is going to be about Aiden and Finn Trewlove's half brother, but it doesn't rely. The Chessmen don't rely King.

To me, it's this really intense "here's this major favorite coming in to be overly involved in his kids' love lives thing that really bugged me with the Challon cameos. Because it was more than a cameo, lol. If you read the Scandalous Gentlemen of St. James books, like... the parents are there. But they act like parents. Even when Lovingdon literally fucks the daughter of a former hero and is like "UMMMM she won't marry me???? Make her please??????" the dad is like "that is a you problem" lol. If that was a Ravenels book and St. Vincent was the dad it would have been like, 15% of the novel devoted to his reactions and his dealing with it.

Elizabeth Hoyt did it really well with Maiden Lane, too. ML always set up the next love story with small scenes from the next hero or heroine. But it never felt like they existed there to move the current love story along or insert themselves into it??? That's what really bugs about the Sebastian stuff. I love him, but she over-relied HARD. I mean, in Devil in Winter, she EASILY could've had an older Derek Craven cameo to be like, Sebastian's gambling hell mentor, but she didn't. And that was GOOD.

[technetiumai]

15 Questions | 15 People

Thank you for tagging me @raenestee and @cutestkilla! These are so much fun! I love learning more about you guys!

Oh, I’m supposed to tag 15 people? 😬 Do I even know 15 people?

1. Are you named after anyone?

My legal first name was my father’s grandmother’s name, but the only people who have ever called me that were people reading it off of official paperwork. My mom liked that my initials could also be a name and decided, before I was born, to call me that.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I seriously cry so much. I probably cried a little bit like half an hour ago because of a song I was listening to or something. But I guess that was like, I’m at work and I’m holding it together crying, not full on crying… I’m like 90% sure I was fully crying because of either a vlogbrothers video, a Rush song reaction video, a Glass Onion or Knives Out reaction video, or maybe a Dimension 20 clip either yesterday or the day before…

3. Do you have kids?

Yes, twin eight-year-olds. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Hmmmm. I think so? It used to be one of my defining characteristics, but I don’t really know if it is anymore. I definitely use snark fairly constantly. The sass flows freely.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How the heck would I know? I don’t keep track... I’m sure it can’t always be the same thing, but I have no idea. Everything and nothing.

6. What’s your eye color?

Green. A it’s a true green in the center part and the outline of the iris, then most of it is like a turquoise with gold flecks in it that looks green when you zoom out. Not that anyone but me has ever looked close enough to notice 😂. That may be what all green eyes look like, I don’t know.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings, I guess. I usually find scary movies mostly boring. Not that I don’t ever get scared or anything, it’s just… just being scared isn’t very entertaining for me I guess. Also scary movies tend to very quickly break suspension of disbelief so usually it’s hard to a stay in a brain space that’s really open to being scared. I think there’s just something I don’t get about the genre, and maybe a campiness that’s not really my thing. The Ring is the only “scary movie” that jumps to mind where I was like in it. I know there has to be more though, my brain is just empty. What was the question? Oh, I mean… happy ending still has to a have a good journey though, right? And I’m not opposed to tragedy. I guess my point is that I don’t like either for either’s sake, but if it’s a good movie, it’s a good movie. 

8. Any special talents?

Define special—Ummmm… No, I’m gonna go with no. I have no idea. Throwing themed parties? Maybe? 

9. Where were you born?

Des Moines, Iowa. I read an article once that ranked Des Moines as the #1 metro area in the US to live in, in terms of something, but I can’t remember what... I think that pretty much sums it up.

10. What are your hobbies?

Craft stuff. None of it is actually interesting to talk about. 

11. Do you have any pets?

We have an ancient, calico Manx cat; she’s roughly 130 years old in cat years (factoring in the comparatively short lifespan of her breed). We have a four year old black cat, who a former coworker found abandoned by his (the cat’s, not the coworker’s) mom in the garage of a Masonic lodge soon after he was born. So we’ve had him since he was the size of a like a peach or something,  and now he weighs like 15 pounds. We also have two sweet little Guinea pig ladies, who are six years old and were already four when we adopted them. They’re so cute 😖🤗. I’m getting some baby-fever-style urges to get more pets though… more cats, or maybe rats… I want a pot bellied pig, but I don’t really think I could give it enough attention. I also want a goat, but that’s not legal where I live.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Lol, I wish.

13. How tall are you?

5'5"

14. Favorite subject at school?

Always math. I was never good enough that I got into super advanced classes, but it felt like I was just spending a bunch of time solving puzzles and getting rewarded for it; seemed like a great deal to me. Plus it didn’t have as much of the social weight that the rest of them did for me. 

15. Dream job?

I really want to keep part of Raen’s answer 😅 “Anything that I don’t dread going to every day, something that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking the life out of me.” That really is the dream. I really would just like to constantly be doing something creative collaboratively with other people. I’m not really picky about what it is though. Or if I could solve intermediate algebra problems all day—that’d be amazing. That’s not very realistic though. That’s what computers are for. If I could get paid what I’m paid now to like organize things or file things or something, I would love that.

@onepintobean @ivelovedhimthroughworse @captain-aralias @fatalfangirl 

I can’t do tags; you know the drill.

[crazyguy200]

Hi Guys. i never post here usually but today i will! because elon musk irreparably fucked up twitter & i want to make a long analysis post so Ummmm. hope you like Good Omens. and mitski.

Ineffable Husbands & Be The Cowboy

-> Why I think BTC is THE Ineffable Husbands album. My certifications are errrm. Long-Time Mitski listener and major Good Omens fan. Buckle down for this one >_<.

!!S2 SPOILERS AHEAD!!

1. Starting off strong, the album begins with Geyser. To me, this song represents how Crowley sees Aziraphale, and their relationship. Let's take a look at the lyrics.

I interpret the first stanzas (is that the right word in songwriting?) As being representative of Crowley's devotion to Aziraphale. Throughout Good Omens we watch him turn down offers from Hell so that he can prioritize Aziraphale & His safety.

The final two stanzas are what really Solidify my relation of Geyser to Crowley & his relationship with Aziraphale for me.

"Though I'm a geyser, feel it bubbling from below, hear it call, hear it call, hear it call to me, Constantly."

Crowley is a Demon. The Geyser (in this interpretation) is Hell. Crowley serves Hell, he does the work that he is told to do On Earth, without complaint (mostly). However, he only "Hears the harmony" (gets in direct/threatening contact with Hell) when something big is happening, and usually that "Harmony" (Hell's orders/plots) harm him and/or Aziraphale. and it's not real enough. The demons describe Crowley as having "gone native", due to having been on Earth so long. The Earth is what's real to him, but more accurately Aziraphale is what is real to him. They cannot be without one another, and when one individual has been the only Present figure in your life consistently for the last 6,000 Odd Years that partnership would feel So real & valuable, to the extent that I firmly believe they would be willing to change for each other if they communicated it. (I will be the one you need, I just can't be without you.)

*Interesting comment, the entirety of the second half of the song can also be applicable to Aziraphale & his relationship with Crowley/how it clashes with his devotion to Heaven. They parallel each other so much it makes me a bit sick.

2. The second song on the album I'm looking at is Old Friend. I'm not applying every song on the album to Aziracrow, because Ummm. I don't wanna. (Although, if you wanna go back and listen to "Why Didn't You Stop Me?" I think it's definitely applicable to the end of s2.) Anyhow, I interpreted Old Friend as representative of how Aziraphale views Crowley.

The first stanza is filled with regret, and I think it's kind of how s2 Aziraphale might look back onto their relationship in s1. "We nearly drowned for such a silly thing" is like their Bandstand fight & how it near ruined their relationship due to. Horrific miscommunication (yay!). The someone who loves Aziraphale better now is Crowley, and "You" in the following line is Heaven. This is when it switches up, though, because I see the rest of the song being addressed to Crowley. Obviously so much of their relationship and dynamic prior to s2 was them meeting in Unlikely places, often over a meal/food. Hence the meeting at the diner. Now, admittedly Aziraphale would Never just take coffee, but let's ignore that because he Would absolutely talk about nothing and take anything Crowley wanted to give him.

The third stanza is where it gets interesting. Aziraphale views his Relationship with Crowley with a lot of anxiety. In season one he describes it as "fraternizing with the enemy", and he's Distinctly afraid of what Heaven might do in reaction to his friendship with Crowley being discovered. But he's also notably fearful of what Hell might do to Crowley, since she has nowhere to go lower than Hell. Aziraphale is anxious by nature, and so is Crowley, so I think their mutual agreement to keep their Association on the down-low during s1 versus their openness about being Together-but-not-together-together in s2 is a Lovely character progression. The last stanza is repetition, but I think that if we're viewing it in Gomens chronological order it'd be post-s1 time, and how Aziraphale and Crowley are perfectly comfortable in s2 giving to one another and meeting to do whatever they like.

3. Of course I was gonna mention Me and My Husband. Who do you take me for. I did skip a few songs between Old Friend & Me and My Husband. So Sorry! listen to the whole album, i think even if it's not enough for me to add to this post about, i could probably find Some silliness happening in all of tjem. Anyways, i see Me and My Husband as the way that Both Aziraphale and Crowley view the other.

I think the most important lines for The Purpose of this post are "It's always been just him and me / Together / So I bet all I have on that / Furrowed brow". Because they just have so Much sickening faith in each other. despite both of their anxious natures, they trust each other Wholly (Aziraphale having Crowley assist in the bullet between the teeth magic act while their miracles were blocked, Crowley letting Aziraphale (who hasn't driven in 90 years) drive alone in his most prized possession/technical home.) This trust comes from the fact that it Has just been the two of them together. the first stanza reflects on mortality, but i see it in this context as being about their time on Earth. Together, Crowley & Aziraphale steal a few breaths from the world for a minute (from its creation until its eventual destruction) and then they will be nothing forever again, in Heaven and Hell respectively, without the other, which to them is Nothing & hasn't been. they created a sanction for themselves for a reason!

4. Pink in the Night. Words can't possibly describe the love i have for this song. it makes me feel ILL. and it is Most Definitely how Crowley sees Aziraphale in s2, and then post s2, i think.

Crowley hears her heart breaking in advance, i think. As unfortunate and horrible as it is, Nina was right when she said that everyone's love lives look much simpler when viewed from an outside perspective. Aziraphale is Deft, he is Smart, but emotionally constipated. his constant inward moral debate prevents him from reacting well when given a love confession, even from His Life Partner. I think every drop of rain singing I Love You is the kiss, and how it is effectively a plead, and a beg for Aziraphale to just stay. Crowley knew he had to put every ounce of passion into the kiss, because he thought it would change Aziraphale's mind. as we (unfortunately) know, there's simply too much miscommunication for that to have worked, and i believe that crowley was at least partially aware of that. it always needed to be a discussion, because their priorities were both each other, but the sacrifices that needed to be made got confused. (Aziraphale thinking Crowley's hatred for Heaven outweighed his love to Aziraphale, Crowley thinking Aziraphale's devotion to Heaven outweighed his love for Crowley.) and so it went the way it did.

I always thought an interesting thing about Aziracrow's relationship is how Crowley is commonly narratively framed as being the "fast one", which is contradictory to another thing he is often framed as, that bejng the Follower. she is so often seen following behind Aziraphale, going where he goes, and Giving (Not that Aziraphale doesn't do these things for Crowley too.) Crowley could Truly stare at Aziraphale's back all day. she holds him at arm's length while simultaneously reaching out and Clawing for what he can get, because i really think she feared his rejection more than anything. and i think that Crowley would give anything to try again, because despite being So Angry, losing their 6000 year partnership is a blow that she Will not quickly recover from, especially if he feels like it's his fault.

5. Two Slow Dancers, naturally. I think that this one is probably the most Aziracrow of the bunch. it makes me So so sad. Also the last one I'm looking at because it is 4 AM and i've ran out of grapes to Chow down on. This song is just Them. It's them. trust me. it's unapologetically, tragically Aziraphale and Crowley.

They have both done it all a hundred times before, Fought, laughed, spoken!! and they always remember, down to The Date, they remember every time and location of where they interact because That is their timeline, i imagine. and they forget Details about everything else, but never each other. Argh.

I think this stanza is how Aziraphale sees it. If they were both Young again (as in, both angels again) there would be no concern with Sides or celestial politics. but that isn't what Crowley wants, and that isn't how it will be. Aziraphale is idealistic to a fault, and so they will continue their slow dance around one another. or at least they were meant to, if it hadn't been for the intervention of the Metatron.

The ground is, of course, Heaven and Hell respectively. They got their few years of peace, and then of course God wants Aziraphale back for her Puppet, and so while it'd still be easier if they were young again, Crowley knows how unrealistic an idea that is.

Crowley thought that they could stay the same, and continue their Dance. because they were there at the creation of the Earth, the beginning, and they would have been there at the end, the last ones out. Aziraphale, on the other hand, wanted things to be different. His devotion is changing Heaven for Crowley, and for Better. but they cannot be both at once, and yet again their conditions for communication were as piss-poor as always. and so despite the love Being so obviously and painfully there the both of them were left with believing it wasn't Quite enough for the other. i hate Them (pos).

anyways. That's it! sorry i couldnt look at every song on the album, it really is Art, go give it a listen!! thanks for reading any/all of that. i'll be surprised if i go back and reread this & see anything remotely coherent. btw if you're not a big Mitski fan and u want some recommendations, some Ineffable Husbands coded songs of her's from other albums include Once More To See You, I Guess, I Want You (Can't possibly emphasize that one enough, it's how Crowley sees Aziraphale.), and Bug Like an Angel are all FIRE.!!!!!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #135

Who is your most loved person? Mom and Girt, just in different ways.

Have you ever been bullied? I'm really fucking grateful I wasn't.

Who makes you the happiest? Girt.

What is the most heroic thing you’ve ever done? Uhhhhh... this is bad, I don't know lmfao

What calms you down when you’re upset? What works best for me these days is Girt hugging me really tight.

Have you been betrayed in the past? How? Maybe, idr.

Who do you miss the most? My dog that passed away, Teddy.

What’s one sweet/candy you miss from your childhood? Is this item something you can still buy or has it been discontinued? BABY BOTTLE POPS those bitches were GREAT. I know I've seen them in a gas station before not too many years ago, but idk if they're still around. I just know they're nowhere near as big as when I was a kid.

Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? No.

Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? I honestly find diamonds like, incomparably prettier. Yes, pearls are pretty, but diamonds are stunning.

Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you’re looking forward to? The entire Rammstein fanbase is aware a "Making Of" video is coming sometime soon-ish for the "Dicke Titten" mv which is wildly beloved for how fucking endearingly stupid it is but the sneakpeak clips were shared in like, I wanna say February & by now everyone is ready to corner them with pitchforks lmao who knows when that'll be here, + there's also something being made with things filmed in Mexico but I'm pretty sure the details aren't public. OH AND ALSO the remake for Silent Hill 2 should be out this year and I physically cannot fucking wait. Oh my god wait another thing, like two days ago Markiplier finally namedropped the legit movie he's been working on (Iron Lung, based off a super fuckin cool indie horror game) so that's super exciting, I think I remember him saying it should be out by maybe like the end of the year.

How do you go about finding books/movies/music to read/watch/listen to? Uh... I don't really search for new books, I'm just sticking with WoF right now, I'll only be interested in a movie that I just like happen to see a trailer for, music is mostly YouTube recommendations...

What’s a band/musician you were really into for a while but who you don’t care about or hardly listen to anymore? "Don't care about" doesn't really fit this, but I think the closest to this general description is Metallica. I got into them right after Ozzy, and for most of my life since then I considered them my second-favorite band, and I still love A LOT of their music, but I just barely listen anymore; I haven't listened to any of their new album (I do plan to, I just haven't yet), and I didn't really explore their last one much either. The last one I cared much about was Death Magnetic, and that released in... holy motherfucking shit 2008 are you KIDDING NO GODDAMN WAY

What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? Ummmm I know Girt's shown me songs I wasn't into, but I don't think anything I had that strong a reaction to.

Do you find it difficult to keep up with online friendships? Generally, no; they're easier for me.

Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Totally, 100% honest, Sara. We tried friendship so many times since we were around 8 and 10 years old, and it never ended well. We just don't mix.

Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes.

What do you want to do on your honeymoon? I wanna go to Alaska but I know Girt doesn't lol, he HATES the cold. Props for ultimately being like "yeah we can" I'm guessing because of how exciting the idea is to me, but a honeymoon destination should be a mutual agreement so I'm not dragging him there. I'm thinking maybe Italy, going to Venice would especially be a fucking dream, plus Rome is in the country too.

What do you think of your parent(s)? I am fully convinced I have the best mother in the world. She's absolutely not perfect, but she is a legend of a mom. My dad always could've been a better father, and I think I'm always going to feel some hurt over how he left my family, but he tries.

If your best friend confessed that they can see the future, you would…? I would be extremely fucking concerned and try very very hard to get him to get in touch with a psychiatrist, but seeing as I can't even get this man to agree to going for a yearly physical THAT HIS INSURANCE FULLY COVERS, I am VERY doubtful he'd go for mental health, and if that was the case, I'd turn to his mom and sister.

What’s your least favorite pizza topping? Mushrooms.

What’s your dream pet? The absolute top of the list is probably a high-expression sunset morph ball python, but they are ABSURDLY expensive, like that is absolutely never happening unless they become much more common. More obtainable is a Grammastola pulchra/Brazilian Black tarantula, as well as an Ephebopus murinus/skeleton leg tarantula, I adore both of those. Also one that will very likely never happen because of their rarity in the hobby (and price tag) is a Sonoran coachwhip, famous for their ability to be a gorgeous pink, but I'm very particular in wanting a black fade on it, lol. Odds are very high that you have probably seen this exact snake before, a lot of people unfamiliar with snakes immediately assume it's fake so they've done their rounds online. Fun fact the potential of seeing this exact snake in the wild is a major reason I want to visit Arizona, haha.

Most unattractive male name, in your opinion? To be totally honest there are a lot of male names I really don't like, like Edwin/Erwin/Edward (apparently I just have a vendetta against names that sound like this lmao), Bob, and even Donald, which no, he doesn't know & I don't plan on telling him lmfao this poor guy I hate his real name AND his nickname help

Is your pet dog male or female? She's a female.

Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both.

Do you know anyone that’s pescatarian? Not personally, but a WoW streamer/content creator I sometimes watch is, she's the only person I know of.

Do you think the government has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? At the BARE minimum, they refuse to delve into potential solutions. Cancer and keeping it at bay RAKES in money. I mean honestly, throughout my WHOLE life I've read articles or just heard news about how "it looks like this is capable of curing it," and what happens next? Nothing, you never hear about it ever again.

Do people normally describe you as sexy? God no. The only one who ever does is sometimes my boyfriend and I can't even believe him lmfao

Was your ex born in America? They all were unless you count Juan, who I dated less than a day. He's from Mexico and is now back there.

Has your best friend ever made you cry? He's never meant to, but yes.

Do you still talk to the person you liked six months ago? Yeah, we're still dating.

Has anyone ever talked you into doing something you didn’t want to do? Yes.

Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes.

Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections? I don't deserve him, is more like it.

List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently. Job situation, my physical health, wanting to move out/in together with Girt, being excited to get my tattoo finished next month, and photography stuff.

Would you ever wear black lipstick? Do you know anyone who does? In the incredibly rare occasion I have lipstick on, it's black.

If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? Still black lol, but again I barely ever, ever wear makeup.

Do you combine your socks and underwear in the same drawer? Yeah, seems like most people do.

Does the last person you kissed live within walking distance? No, he lives around 30 minutes away by car.

Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them? Yeah, Girt.

Do you know a girl named Beth? Tell me about her. I know an older woman named Beth; she's the mother of who was once my little sister's best friend, but they moved away when Nicole and Lauren were maaaybe pre-teens. She's actually dealing with the recent loss of her son because of drugs, something that's so mind-boggling to me because I remember this boy as a little, innocent kid. Addiction just doesn't discriminate.

Do you think the last person you kissed has ever lied to you? I suppose it's possible over something small, but I don't think so. We put a lot of focus on honesty in our relationship.

Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? As a teenager, yes.

First kink tried? Not sharing, crossing a boundary for me.

First time doing oral? I was somewhere around 17, maybe 16.

Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them? No to either, I am very glad no partner I've ever had has felt the need to do that.

How much teasing do you like? Both people I've been sexual with have called me one and I treat others how I wanna be treated u kno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Are you okay with name-calling in bed? I don't know tbh, not something I have experience with but honestly for someone with my self-esteem and whatnot it's probably better that I never find out.

How often do you do unprotected sex? I am unwilling to ever do that unless we've made the confident decision that we want to have a kid.

Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie? I don't wear and never have worn it but bitch lingerie is ALWAYS hot what the fuck homie

Are stockings/thigh-highs a turn on? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

How many other people know your bra size? hunny I don't even know my bra size 😭

Do you have any friends you’d sleep with? No.

Does the person you like have any flaws? Of course he does, everybody does. They're non-deal breaker flaws I've chosen to accept.

Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Jason did for one of our anniversaries, I think either the second or third. It wasn't a promise or engagement ring, just a pretty ring. I remember the gem broke off pretty quickly and this man was so mad lmao, I actually kept the frame of the ring (I lost the jewel) for a very, very long time, I'm talking 'til like maybe this past year, but I eventually didn't even want it as a memory anymore.

Creation theory, evolution or the Big Bang theory? Well I mean the last two generally go hand-in-hand, but I do have to admit I'm not totally sold on the "everything exploded from condensed nothingness" theory, but I 100% believe in the evolution of life forms. I'm completely uncertain of what I think the very origin of the universe is, especially when you consider I don't believe in a god, either. I don't necessarily refute the BBT either though, I tend to trust scientists with weighty degrees that actually study this shit for a living.

What was your last serious conversation about? Well, I found out last night Girt's last remaining grandparent/his mom's mom has cancer, and she's absolutely too weak for chemotherapy, so. I was talking to him about tagging along the next time he goes to see her. I just kinda randomly thought about her (I already knew she wasn't well) and realized it'd be nice to meet her before she, y'know.

Have you ever been into a real cave? No, but this is a MAJOR adventure goal!!!! Girt recently learned that I wanna do this and his reaction was priceless, the "YOU ARE ALLOWED IN THE MOUTH OF A CAVE PEOPLE LITERALLY DIE THERE BLAH BLAH BLAH" was so immediate, too bad bitch I'm goin spelunking

Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid lmfao help this child or smush her like a bug idc

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Uh probably the first Silent Hill. It took SO much reading and lore videos to understand lmao. I really do hope they remake the OG game one day, like don't get me wrong, I ADORE it, but so much could be improved ((((DAHLIA'S VOICE ACTING)))), including with just making the story easier to understand without actually changing the story (I'd be pissed and so would the entire horror game fanbase).

Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Girt, yeah he mad cute

Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom, and I cried for days on end after Mom told me. She's the only human person that I've lost to death that was truly a painful loss for me, like it was personal. All other people I've known who have died I either very, very barely knew or in my maternal grandmother's case, hated.

Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I mean I might, but if they do, they're sadly having to do it illegally because even medical usage is illegal in NC. Piece of shit state <33333

Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? Thank god I don't, this is such a heartbreaking topic to me. I was actually worrying about my friend Bethany who just gave birth while dealing with a severe case of the flu; it looks like things got a bit scary, but thank all the stars in the fucking sky she's home safe with her family now. She was so heartbroken because her daughter was brought home before she was able to come with.

Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? This WILDLY depends, like I hope that's obvious. Kids playing make-believe and making a mess in the mud outside? That's "just being kids," but things like picking on others and such absolutely is not.

Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. My mom has cryptically commented that she "knows" a lot of things which is terrifying lmao but idk what exactly.

What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I'm not at all sure, I don't really think she's ever called me a bad name...

What’s your stance on spooning? I like it because it makes me feel safe and loved, I am That Bitch hunched over dying when Girt rolls away lmao, not in like a genuinely offended way or anything though, he sleeps way better facing away with more space.

Do you currently want a new computer? Nah, mine's fine.

How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? Neither would care; they both are aware of how much I love tattoos and plan to get dozens more. I seem to remember my dad being caught off-guard/seeming a bit nervous when I told him I got a tattoo the first time, though.

Who is your truest friend? Girt. He's honestly the greatest friend I've ever had, as far as being a genuine friend goes.

Who is your oldest friend? Sam, he's gotta be near 40 now.

How long have you known them? Uhhhh I can't remember the exact year, but I know Jason and I were still together when we "met" (we've been WoW buddies for a very long time, used to play all day somedays voice chatting together). I'm gonna guess like... *around* 2013-2014? I'd really like to meet him and his wife one day, he's always treated me like his little sister and honestly it was interactions with him that helped me get through 2016. At least I had someone to talk to/stay preoccupied with. If I'm not mistaken his wife's actually pretty big on the makeup side of TikTok now, which is great for her because she's never been able to work because of health reasons.

Where are they right now? Uh, they live in New Jersey. I'm assuming he's home because my b.net app says he's playing Call of Duty right now.

Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? Omg no, that'd be weird. Girt actually (very vaguely) knew Ashley before he knew me, but they were never friends beforehand.

Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I'd prefer not to.

What has been your biggest failure in life? Not loving, respecting, and taking care of myself properly, honestly.

Do you trust yourself? lol no, I change my mind too much for that shit

Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes, I would get an abortion in any case where I didn't want a child.

What was the last bug you killed? An ant in the house. I generally try to avoid killing bugs, but ants in the house are not okay.

Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? You know, I think I've always used ones where it's just me.

Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? Probably at some point with either Jason or Sara.

What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Omg idk if this is THE funniest, but it's the most recent really funny one that I remember: my 8-year-old niece Aubree literally going, "Why do you need a boyfriend at your age?!" when Girt was with me at their house, like GIRL your mother is TWO years older than me with three children & I am a grown-ass woman 😭 I love that girl to death.

[dangermousie]

I think this is my fave scene in the ep

The very fact that he’s trying to deny there are any feelings speaks for itself...

There are so many things I find interesting about this: the way he only brings this up as the last defense (and I don’t think many know about his feelings being removed) which speaks both about his desperation to convince her (and thus himself) he feels nothing but also about the fact that he doesn’t like to talk about it. And the fact that narratively the fact that he had his feelings/emotions removed by his psycho father is genius. When you have a bad guy and you want to make him a romantic interest, there is always the question of “but why is he bad? If he enjoys inflicting suffering, then where is guarantee he won’t eventually enjoy inflicting it on you? If he’s everything for love of power, what’s the guarantee he won’t ditch you for power either?” And this story solves that. He does not enjoy inflicting suffering; he doesn’t even lust for power - he’d need to be able to feel to have either of those tendencies. He is amoral but he’s not reveling in hurt; he kills to keep power not for pleasure and he keeps power because that’s what he’s been bred to seek, he doesn’t get pleasure from it because he gets no pleasure from anything. He’s like a cursed prince under a spell, only his spell is not the usual “hi you are a frog now” type. And that is what makes the situation where he’d be an OK partner be possible, same as a de-frogged prince can make a good spouse and not just a French dish that used to say “ribbitt.”

Ooooooh! Either this turns out to be a lie OR this is a huge future plot point since he’s obviously catching feelings!

You know, he doesn’t tell her his father did it when he was a kid; it’s left so ambiguous that she could well think he did it himself to gain power. I wonder if it’s because he thinks this is irrelevant information or because that is not something he likes to think about, it’s clearly a hugely traumatic memory for him, even with his deadened emotions.

Man, old moon supreme had it coming! If you wanted it so much, remove your own feelings, stop torturing your kid, creeper.

Yeah, he thinks...

Except her reaction is so not what he expects!

!!!!!!!!!! How could he not fall for her - she finds out he cannot love (and once again, she has no idea he had no choice as a kid, for all she knows he happily did it to himself) and her reaction is not anger or disgust or anything but “well, that means you don’t hate me either and that means lack of feelings is not your choice and your fault.” How could he not want to dive into that?!

I love that to her having no feelings is not a bonus (like to his father) but a curse that needs to be fixed. Also, his feelings are a tree and she is a plant fairy specializing fixing flora aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

She’s gonna uncurse you!!! Hell, she’s already started and neither of you realize it!

Ummmm, I have news for you, honey...

He’s totally shaken. Awwww.

EEEEEEE!!!!! Plant doctor in the house!!! The demon gardener is gonna be gardened himself.

[ghostbeam]

Could we please gush over lovesick Tomura? 🥺 I’m sorry, I read your random headcanons for him and it’s got me by the throat. Especially that last bullet point omg

Don’t be sorry bby!!! I’d love to talk abt lovesick tomura!!! Lovesick characters only!!!

He is so so so lovesick!!! He loves u so much he can’t believe u chose him!!!! I think tomu is super clingy like likes to hang off u and like bother u for attention. Bun talks abt it a lot but like him hanging on u like a ragdoll just draped over u is so cute to meeeee. Ummmm I think he’s really sentimental like keeps little tokens from ur relationship, like a movie ticket or like receipts from a date. He likes having pieces of u you know??

He’s also not one to shy away from pda I don’t think like he has no issue like kissing u in public or sitting u on his lap or things like that. He just likes to have u around at all times ur attached at the hip!! He’s always nuzzling your neck and holding his arms around u he holds u so tightttt like you’ll slip away🥺

I also think he gets like excited to share things with u like showing u a video game or a song or a movie he likes. He’s just really interested in what ur reaction will be good or bad and I think he’d also be curious abt ur interests too. I just think he’s someone who just likes to hear u speak and ramble forever so if u wanted to talk to him about ur favorite album for hours he would just sit and listen cause it’s YOU!!!!

But yeah<33 lovesick tomu our beloved!!!!

[enhyupn]

⧉ enhypen as your classmate that has a crush on you! ᝢ ∷

pairings: ot7 enhypen members x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence in jay’s one

genre: pure fluff + high school!au

a/n this also. Was in my drafts 💭 i was contemplating if i should post this or not but here i am 😫 i Post too much sorry everyone iJust have no life outside of school 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

⌗ heeseung

heeseung is definitely the type of person that tries to talk to the person he sits beside all the time

he nudges you all the time and whispers your name whenever he wants your attention

and the fact he had a huge crush on you also added to it

enhypen always have to listen to him since he never ever stops talking about you. like ever.

“oh my god you will never know what y/n told me when i—” and suddenly he’s cut off by the rest of them yelling “we know!”

you never snap at him because you kinda... enjoy the attention

maybe thats how you knew you kinda liked him too, since you could never let sunoo get away with this if he ever called for your name in class

your relationship only stopped there for a while, since the two of you lowkey scared of each other

“no i feel like y/n’s gonna snap at you one day, like completely just punch you in the face” jay once told him and ever since, he’s never looked at you the same

you think heeseung’s just intimidating, the amount of times you’ve jumped in your seat whenever he’s called your name is numerous

although, one day you fell asleep in class due to the fact you left your english essay last minute the night before

heeseung, noticing you drooling on the table, wrote down the notes for you

he handed them to you after class and you were so touched that you couldn’t stop telling sunoo about it

“his hand writing’s so neat and—” “i get it, you can shut up now!”

you even told heeseung his hand writing was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen for a week straight

he was happy of course, but honestly unsure how he was supposed to reply to the compliment

he figured out by himself that all he needed to do was ask you if you wanted him to write your name

“heeseung, i mean it! i can’t get over how you write ‘the’, it’s just so— so neat!” “oh really? let me write your name out”

being the smooth guy that he was, wrote down his number instead of your name

and you being the oblivious person you were, ended up being utterly confused

“heeseung i think—” “I WROTE MY NUMBER ON PURPOSE”

you never really got over the shock, nonetheless still took his number and texted him that night

you ended that night by kicking your feet in the air with your face feeling like it was on fire

oh, you also ended up planning a date with heeseung on saturday, not a big deal

it was actually the biggest deal ever

the rest of the head canons are under the cut!

⌗ jay

jay was 100% the type to tease someone when he had a crush to get their attention

he wanted all your attention and the way he got that was through telling you your portrait of a dog looked stupid

well yeah, it did but he didn’t need to point it out

everyone in your art class knew jay had a raging crush on you

he just didn’t know how to express it

his friend jake told him the way into your heart was talking about a mutual interest

jake was, sort of, right about his advice. well, until you and jay started bickering about a character you loved but he oh so hated

“mabel in gravity falls was annoying and weird” “jay if you say that one more time i will shove this paint brush down your throat”

jake, who was trying to play cupid, could not understand why he was so bad at this

i mean jay had no problem getting girls to like him but you? did you genuinely hate jay or something?

“no jake i don’t hate jay” well that answered his question

“he’s just weird” “weird? i’m weird?” “yeah do i need to repeat it again? park jay is weird” you two were a match made in heaven

jay didn’t know when but he had a revelation, maybe this wasn’t the approach he should take to get your attention

after that, he started to be extremely nice to you

it definitely scared you

“d-did i do anything?” “what no? i’m just saying your painting looks beautiful y/n” “oh no something’s definitely going to happen”

he was finally tired of trying so hard while ending up with nothing achieved

jake, being the one out of the two who had the most realistic ideas, decided to give him one more tip

“do you think it’ll work?” “it’s fool proof”

the tip was simply him asking you out to the movies, something that was a little too forward for jay

“no i don’t think it’ll work jake” “jay i swear to god you are going to end up single For the Rest of your Life”

it took... many attempts... and many insults towards you for him to even get the first line out

“Y/NPLEASEGOTOTHEMOVIESWITHME” “the movies? sure” “wait, really? i meant it in a romantic way by the way” “oh? sure i’m free on friday”

turns out you were into him too i mean it was kinda obvious from the way you dealt with those insults

even when you started dating after that date, the insults never stopped

it just now targeted jake, who really is just asking for it at this point from the amount of times he’s asked for credit for ‘getting both of you together’

he was never getting that credit

⌗ jake

jake would leave secret love letters in your locker every time he walked past it

i mean the action wasn’t as secret as he thought it was due to the fact you knew he was the one leaving those letters

for god’s sake the boy was literally in almost all your classes, you were walking the same way as him when he slipped those letters in???

you still were very grateful for them

without them, i think you would of not coped with school

they were all incredibly detailed and even had little doodles drawn around them

you once had remembered he mentioned that he wrote these in the morning before school started during first period

he also told you he was really really shy you found it incredibly cute

the only way he could speak to you without melting was through these letters

somehow you decided that the best thing to do was put replies in his lockers too

his first reaction was complete embarrassment, the fact you knew who he was had his face heating up like nothing else

but he soon realised you didn’t think it was weird or creepy, you actually looked forward to his letters every school day

he mustered up so much courage after that to talk to you in person, to personally thank you

“THANK YOU Y/N!” “NO IT’S FINE JAKE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck before pulling something out from his back pocket

the final letter in his series of love letters showing up in his hands

“open it” his shy smile making your brain Melt in endearment

the letter contained the usual, the hello y/n! and the usual chatter about his day

what you didn’t expect was the fact he had asked you out at the bottom of the letter

“y/n i’ve liked you for a while now, will you go out with me?” you read out loud before realising what you had just read. “OH MY GOD YOU ASKED ME OUT?”

you pull him into a tight hug, something that jake heated up at

“is this a yes?” “are you seriously asking that right now? of course we are”

you two became the most sickly sweet couple ever

plus the fact you still placed letters in each other’s lockers made enhypen gag (in an affectionate way)

they were just jealous nobody was putting letters in their lockers

⌗ sunghoon

sunghoon always seemed to be there whenever you needed help

especially since you two helped out at the library together every wednesday

he looked forward to it every week, you could tell from the fact ever tuesday he’d remind his friends that the next day he was seeing you again

“tomorrow’s wednesday you know what that means” “yes sunghoon we know, you’re seeing y/n tomorrow”

whenever he’s finished his work (which he does at an incredibly fast pace) he always seems to end up trailing you

constantly asking if you need help, desperate to do something

you find it endearing, always ending up chuckling at his whiney words

“y/n! do you need any help i’m finished” “not at the moment but if you wanna chat i can!”

out of all the enhypen members i feel like sunghoon would have the softest feelings for his crush

like even outside of your assigned library work, he’d constantly check up on you during lunch

“here y/n! it’s a packet of those gummies you like” “how sweet that you remembered! thanks for them”

you, even with sunghoon’s constant affection, couldn’t realise he had a crush on you

you thought that he was like that with everyone, you didn’t think that you were particularly special to get any type of unique treatment from park sunghoon

it wasn’t until your classmate asked you if you and sunghoon were dating

“hey are you and sunghoon dating?” “ummmm no why” “oh my friend wanted to know, they like him that’s why”

that didn’t sit well with you.

you thought long and hard about it but there was literally no reason for you to be bothered about it

i mean? you didn’t like him like that right

wrong

you decided to ask his dearest friend heeseung for help

“heeseung what do i do why do i feel like this” “i don’t know ask sunghoon” “...you aren’t helping”

heeseung being the big blabber mouth he is, told sunghoon all of this

“y/n won’t shut up about you” “really? you’re telling me the truth right? please don’t lie to me”

from many many uplifting comments from his friends, sunghoon was able to talk to you without mentioning the library

“so... what did you do in art class today?” “oh? i don’t do art” i mean at least he tried

after a few attempts he finally hit the nail on the head, securing his place as one of your friend... not the position he was aiming for but at least it was something

that’s when he prepared himself for the final boss (that’s what heeseung called the plan)

interrupting the conversation you both had on what disney show was the best, he popped the big question

“no but mulan was pretty good too also do you wanna go on a date with me” “oh sure! that was really random though”

i mean his timing was incredibly terrible but you were over the moon

even with the calm messages the both of you had sent, the two of you were screaming at your screen, unable to contain any composure

i mean it’s sunghoon... even if he handed you a piece of trash to as his way of asking you out you’d still say yes

⌗ sunoo

no but sunoo definitely asks your friend what your favourite song is and puts it on his story so you can slide up and be like “omg!! i love this song”

OH he also texts you randomly at 11:11 and 22:22 so you think it’s a sign

he so so so desperately wants your attention all the time

he goes up to you at lunch even when you’re with all your friends and makes conversation with you making you forget all about your friends

he sits in front of you in maths! so he knows how bad you are at the subject, he can hear your muttering about how you got a question wrong every morning but don’t Worry! he finds it adorable for some reason

at first he started to pretend he wouldn’t understand a question so he could find a way to talk to you

“hey y/n! what’s six times five again” “are you serious?”

he’s actually kinda good at maths so you’re always confused on how he doesn’t understand basic multiplication but can get 90% on the algebra test

he loves, and i mean loves, talking to you during class

even if the teacher scolds him he doesn’t care, it’s simply the highlight of his day

he gets so pouty and jealous when you excuse him in the middle of a conversation to talk to someone else

he gets jealous especially whenever you talk to his friends instead of him

“hey ni-ki! what did you get for number five?” “oh i got—” “I GOT TWELVE FOR THAT ONE Y/N!”

you kinda adore it not gonna lie

at one point your teacher got incredibly fed up with you two talking class

so! sunoo resorted to passing notes to you

‘y/n did you hear? oh my god, jihan from the maths class beside us told me that yeojin from the year above us got suspended because she started fighting the teacher over her phone. can you believe that? i mean i would of done the same thing’

it was quite clear sunoo talked a lot even through notes too

i mean as if you didn’t reply with the same energy

‘I HEARD THAT TOO!! gowon from her class told me, plus! intak said he saw the whole thing too... omg honestly i think yeojin’s so cool for doing that. maybe i should fight our maths teacher if they try and yell at us for talking again?’

they were one of the many things sunoo loves you for <3

one day ni-ki, being the number one shipper of you two, decides to play Cupid on the two of you

he drew out a note that looked too similarly to a middle school confession text and placed it on sunoo’s desk

“do you like me y/n... tick one. yes. no.” “do you like it?” “what the fuck is this”

i mean sunoo Took it anyways, he knew you’d find it funny too

as usual, you prepared yourself for a long class of sliding notes to each other

you looked forward to it, you found it as a source of entertainment and you liked talking to sunoo anyways

“pssst, y/n!” “thanks— wait did you give me the right one?”

after many whisper shouts and glares from your teacher, he finally convinced you that they were the real deal

obviously. You chose yes

that’s how you landed a date with sunoo to a picnic at han river

sunoo and you were. Kinda.... thankful for ni-ki

you two just never wanted to admit his stupid cupid-ry worked

⌗ jungwon

definitely the type to ask you “what homework did we get?” so he can start a conversation with you

replies to your private story with like “omg that’s so funny” or like “PLSSSSS me too”

you do exactly the same with his ps honestly

he always talks to you before class and you have heated discussions about the homework the night before

YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS end up sitting beside him in every class you have together

like it’s not even on purpose anymore (it’s actually fate)

always lends you pens and pencils when you forget them

he also never Asks for them back so you Have like a stash of them at home beside your bed because you always forget to give them back to him

you and jungwon are the kids in pe class that walk around the track gossiping

“jake told me that half of the soccer team aren’t getting along these days because they all like the same person” “no way really? what about their team work, isn’t there some sort of huge match next week?”

the gossip only stays between you two but only ever during pe

you two talk about more, interesting things outside of pe

since you two are in basically every class together, you walk with him everywhere

once when you were about to trip over, jungwon caught you and when you realised you were in his arms, you just blankly stared at him for a good five seconds

once you got off of him your face started to heat up so fast jungwon’s too

every time you have homework due and you didn’t do it he lends you his word

“y/n take this! it’s the french homework from last class” “thanks so much jungwon!”

the real story starts with when you and him were practicing speaking french in the library

you, being terrible at french, needed some sort of help with this

jungwon decided that, even though he completely sucks at french, he should tutor you!

and there you were, ten reasons why i hate you style, in the library struggling on how to pronounce beaucoup

“bow-cewp” “good job y/n!” “jungwon i know for a fact that you don’t know if i’m saying this right”

you stuck up with it because, well because he’s jungwon

“je t'aime you”

i mean you were Terrible. at french but even the stupidest person in the world could figure that out

“i like you too jungwon, now help me with question six” “YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT?” “i had a paris phase when i was younger of course i did”

turns out the Parisian style bakery across the street is the perfect date on an afternoon after school

what was even more perfect was that you got 85% on your test with the help of your boyfriend

⌗ ni-ki

he was your partner in cookery class, the both of you had no cooking skills in your bones but you still made it work

you were in the class since your family constantly nagged at you for being terrible in the kitchen

while ni-ki enrolled because he needed the something to show his friends after school

ni-ki thinks he fell for you at first sight

you were baking cookies as your first task and you basically saved him by reminding him to put on oven gloves before getting the cookies out

“that’s the bare minimum” jay tells him. “i don’t care... you wouldn’t know what love feels like”

he looks forward to cooking class because if you every week

he even has it scheduled on his calendar

honestly it’s kind of a miracle the food you two make is some sort of eatable

he always asks you for help even if it’s the simplest thing ever

“y/n? which one is a cup?” “the one that literally says one cup?”

you don’t care though since you think it’s cute

you always end up doing most of the cooking and chopping whil ni-ki just washes the dishes and watches the pot boil which eagerly waits for the food to finish

you’ve met all of enhypen before since ni-ki likes them to gather around your creations and take pictures of them together

when enhypen first collected him from cookery class, they asked him which one of your classmates were you

he literally shyly pointed at you as he hid his face with his hair

“them” “huh? ni-ki who are you pointing at” “them, beside the fridge”

your final exam was to decorate and bake a cake

it’s safe to say from the many burnt cakes you and ni-ki have done, you two were in trouble

you both wanted that passing grade so you practiced almost everyday after classes the week before

he was in charge of the icing, apparently according to him it was his specialty

“look y/n!” “how cute! a little unreadable but very cute”

finally. the Day of the exam came

you both had to prepare and bake the cake together under two hours

you were lucky that you both weighed the ingredients before you arrived

it was definitely. The most stressful two hours you two had ever felt

it also didn’t help that ni-ki shooed you away when he was icing the cake

by the end of it, your face was Dusted with flour while ni-ki’s apron had butter and frosting stains all over it

you were instructed by ni-ki and even your teacher, to stand where the fridge was, out of your sight to see what he was doing to the cake

you were hazily scrolling through your phone when jungwon snapped you back into reality

turns out jungwon was outside the room the whole exam because ni-ki told him he needed support and having him there comforted him

almost instantly after your jungwon interaction, ni-ki called you from your table, excitedly waving his arms in the air

“y/n! y/n! i’m finished!” “perfect! let me—”

your eyes widened realising his cake didn’t say anything like ‘happy birthday’ like you two had planned

instead the icing spelt out a prettily written out ‘y/n, will you go on a date with me?’

your eyes seemed to water at the gesture, unsure why you got so emotional at icing

“n-ni-ki... that’s so c-cute” “why are you crying? oh my god you hate me don’t you?”

it took you ten minutes to stop sobbing (happy tears) and you gladly accepted his proposal

so now you got a Good grade and an amazing boyfriend that can... sort of! Cook

while eating the cake you were reminded with something, remembering some words from earlier

wait did mr lee know about this?

[fallow-grove]

ep 8

holy shit. irving outie moment?? his dog is named radar..

oh my godh hes an artist.. oughh the black paint black like the goo. the fact that he paints the same thing over and over....is it the elevator? the music

huh. why are cobel and milchick stressed about helley finishing her file

one last time??

IS MILCHICK TEARING UP? DID HE BREATHE HEAVIER WHAT

the pixel eagan is uncanny

"i love you" what the fuck

oh interesting. ms casey is retiring. whos gonna be the new wellness person

"its the longest ive ever spent awake"

i cannot read cobels expression.

WAIT. IS MS CASEY GEMMA?? IM TOO FACEBLIND TO HAVE UNDERSTOOD THE REVEAL BUT I THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A REVEAL AT THE END OF LAST EPISODE WHEN IT SHOWED THE PHOTO OF GEMMA????? what the fuck, (im only figuring this out because cobel talked to milchick about "you know its good that they don't recognize each other"

she doesn't get to go up does she. is she one of the people they keep down here forever ..

THATS WHAT IRVING PAINTED. WHY HAS HE SEEN THAT. has he been down to be experimented on?

i do wonder the significance of milchick snapping pictures. i bet its for PR

YOOO ok so on one hand im cheering for cobel getting fired but i know someone worse will come along. the only thing weve heard them say being a crackly "yes" is so ominous

oh god are helley and mark flirting. was that flirting. i hope it wasnt. wait why is dylan going to perpetuity

oh god marks gonna run into trouble with cobel isnt he

WHAT HAHAHA? (in reaction to helley kissing him) THAT IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY GOOD LUCK OUT THERE BOSS IS SO JARRING

"welcome friends of lumon"? therr must be something happening

its so strange to have a waffle party alone

"go now to the founders bed" ummmm ayo??

I'm really worried about what cobel is inevitably going to do to mark

"sister and brother" "alone at last" "gross" fave

oh god yeah marks gonna flip when he switches and sees cobel

aww oh my gosh... <- doesnt evem remember what i was reacting to. oh yeah it was dylan putting the team cube on the desk before he started the protocol

"every time you find yourself here it's because you chose to come back"

[the-piece-of-spadille]

Hey!!!! Can I ask ummmm nsfw scenario of Trafalgar Law x shy! fem! S/O? Okay, Law use this prompt 37, 43, 50. So, I have read that I can use 3 prompts. But I have choose one character so... I hope that's alright for you.... And that's it. Take your time.😊

Hey Anon! Thank you for requesting. Sorry this took so long to make. I’m a little rusty in the NSFW department. I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing it out!

Warning: NSFW 18+  

Word Count: 1.7k

Hell must have frozen over to allow both Trafalgar D. Water Law and Eustass Kid to lay anchor at the same island and run into each other at the bar. Both crews are watching from afar on opposite sides, placing bets on what’s going to happen next.

It’s not like Law to get jealous. He’s confident in himself and in the relationship the two of you formed in stone. He knows whole heartily he’d never have to worry about cheating, but that bastard Eustass Kid just rubs him the wrong way. If it weren’t for him already having made a promise to you earlier in the week for a weekend without violence, he’d probably being fighting right about now.

You were only meant to go to the bar and get a few drinks for your table when you grabbed the attention of the scarred pirate captain. Eustass found out easily that you’re rather shy and took advantage of that. He managed to talk his way into you into taking a seat at the bar next to him while waiting for the bartender to come over.

Truth be told Eustass just wants to cause trouble per usual and see just how far he can go until he gets under the Surgeon of Death’s skin. And if he’s lucky maybe a fight would break out. He made causal bar talk and you only replied to be polite and to keep things civil. You knew of his reputation and all you wanted was a night of peace. Eustass however, decides to kick things up a notch. He throws out his charm and starts to get a little flirty to see if you’ll take the bait.

Eustass doesn’t know that you’re dating Law, in fact nobody does for your safety. He just sees a pretty girl that happens to be part of Law’s crew, but he had his suspicions. He can feel the Surgeons eyes watching him ever since you walked up to the bar. And to your luck just as the bartender walks over, he says he has to go retrieve more sake from the cellar.

You let out an audible sigh at having to wait longer while the rival captain smirks. He moves closer and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, but you quickly shrug it off. You turn and look up at him to tell him to knock it off when you noticed his attention elsewhere again. 

Every time he made some type of advancement or flirty comment, he wasn’t looking for your reaction, but your captains. He was using you to get to your captain, but for what? Deciding to play into this little game, you stay seated to figure out his intent with your lover no matter how anxious your starting to feel.  

Law thus far has remained calm, only giving Kid an unreadable expression. It wasn’t until Eustass offered you his drink to ease your discomfort that Law visually saw how nervous you were getting. You were used to fighting other captains and the like, not sitting next to one at a bar, and certainly not being flirted with by one. Eustass nudges his drink over to you in hopes to calm you. You’re not his target for the night, he doesn’t wish to make you uncomfortable.

Law isn’t sure what it is about that drink that makes his blood boil. He knows it’s not poisoned; he’s been watching Kid like a hawk and just saw him drink from it. Maybe it was the fact it was Kid’s own drink that he’s drank from at the bar. It was childish of him to get jealous over your lips touching the same glass as Kid’s. It’s not remotely the same as kissing, yet Law felt the need to cut him in half with the full intent to leave him that way.

At first you tried to decline the drink nicely, but he insisted, saying that it looked like you could use one to ease your nerves. He gave you a smile, though in his true devilish fashion. When you picked up the glass just as expected, Eustass’s attention again went straight to the man standing in the back corner. You figured if you played your cards right, you’d get closer to finding out what he wanted with Law and so you throw your head back, downing the drink. Eustass then has the audacity to smirk over at Law.

Trafalgar having enough of Eustass’s childish games uses “Room” to create a spherical territory. It quickly enveloped the entirety of the bar, grabbing the attention of all the pirates and other guests. In an instant your body is teleported by his side and an empty shot glass in your place next to Eustass. Wasting no time Law grabs your hand and quickly walks out the bar leaving behind an amused Kid.

“That was dangerous (Y/n)-ya,” continuing to pull you away from the bar and towards the safety of your home for the night. “I was just trying to keep things civil- Hey! Slow down a little please.” He didn’t. He kept the same pace until he reached the door only stopping to unlock it.

“I only wanted to know what his deal was with you” you state innocently. “He wasn’t interested in me.” He opened the door and stepped aside to let you in first. Inside he closes the door a little harsher than he wanted to, he’s not angry at you, just angry that Kid was getting under his skin. That he was flirting with you right in front of him. He grumbles as he reminded himself about the stupid drink you shared and grew jealous again.

Law pulls you against him and urgently covers your lips with his own. Hands cupping your face while he feverishly kisses you with passion, cleaning your lips of any trace of that damn liquor. Grabbing his coat to keep yourself balanced from the sudden kiss, you almost yelp when he bites down on your bottom lip.

He picks you up, giving your ass a generous squeeze before crossing the small home, laying you down onto the soft bed. You take this opportunity to catch your breath from the unexpected kiss while Law stands at the foot of the bed and starts to shrug off his layers of clothes. His golden orbs sinfully watching you, running all over your form as he undresses.

He only manages to take off everything on his upper half, before leaning over your much smaller frame, caging you underneath him, his weight anchoring you in place. Your face flushed from how he looks at you. Law gently licks at your sore lip from where he bit you, giving you a much gentler kiss to say sorry as you run your hands through his dark raven colored hair.

Ever so slowly his hands trail down your curves and starts undressing you while his tongue dances sinfully with yours. Tossing away your clothing, you lay only in your bra and panties while he grinds his clothed cock against your dampening core. Pulling away to let out a soft moan. “You like that Kitten?”

Continuing his motions with his hips, Law starts moving his lips away from yours, leaving a wet trail of kisses down the jaw and neck. Making sure to leave a few marks on your neck that will surely darken. “Law please” you cried.

“Please what, love?”

Your face flushes at the thought of asking. It doesn’t matter that you’ve done it before, asking to feel his lips where you’re most sensitive still leaves you bashful. Law knows what you want but he loves teasing you into saying it. His sweet little Kitten always so shy to ask him to give you oral.

“Please Law I need you.”

“Where do you need me baby” he says in that deep seductive voice, looking into your eyes. You can see that start of a smirk forming across his face. His hand trailing down, “right here?” The pad of his finger lazily stroking over your clothed damping core.

“Yes! Right there” you exclaim as your hips buck. With one last lingering kiss to your lips, he starts his slow decent towards your aching core, removing that last barrier of clothing that’s keeping him from you.

Law rubs his finger across your slit, placing small kisses on the inside of your thighs leading closer and closer to your core. You need more friction and try to move your hips, but Law holds you in place. “Patience baby. All good things come to those who wait.” He toys with you a little longer before making sure his finger is coated in your slick, pushing it inside to earn a light moan from you.

He gives you a few more thrusts with his finger before giving you a gentle lick. “Fuck” you moan, tossing your head back into the pillows. You can practically feel the smile on his face. Adding another finger to the mix to help get you ready for what’s to come.  “So pretty and wet, just for me.”

Law’s tongue licking at your folds while his thumb rubs mercilessly at your clit with just the right amount of pressure. “Let me hear you Kitten.” You do as he says. Needing something to hold onto, you reach down and tug at his hair, making him groan into you. Hips squirming at the jolts of pleasure, “Show how loud I can make you. Let that red headed bastard know who you belong to.”

You can feel the feel yourself getting closer to the edge. Finding it hard to stay still, your hips squirming, being so close to becoming undone. Law pushes his fingers back inside and attacks your bundle of nerves once again with his mouth. Turning you into a moaning mess. “Law! I’m close!” He can feel you tightening around his fingers.

“That’s is baby. Cum for me.”

Law’s other hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers together just as you find euphoria. Squeezing your eyes shut at the pleasure finally going over the edge. Moaning his name so loud, you hope no one else is around to save you from embarrassment.  

Law giving your sensitive cunt one last kiss before making his way up to you, giving you a searing hot kiss so you can taste yourself on his lips. Pulling away so you can catch your breath. You can feel the prominent bulge in his pants, rubbing against you. Telling you the night has only begun. Law places a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Good girl.”

[thistle-and-thorn]

What are your thoughts on Outlander??

My thoughts on Outlander. Buckle up, babe.

First of all, everyone I know except for me loves these books and this show. My closest friends LOVE this show. I know I am so very alone.

TW: mentions of sexual assault

Okay but here’s my numbered list:

1. Claire is Boring. She just is. She’s one of those heroines who is “headstrong” which translates to “dumb.” She has no reaction really to the things that surround her and I felt the show hugely skated past her grief at losing her husband. I just feel like I’ve met a character like her a dozen times before and I’m over it.

2. Jaime is Also Boring. Insert all of the above. He’s young and charismatic and angry and so is every male protagonist of every novel ever written. Thank you next.

3. Dougal is clearly the sexiest character on this show and no one agrees with me even though I am CLEARLY correct.

3a. If you’re going to fall in love with a problematic Scottish man, make it be DOUGAL. I will never understand why she turned him down lol. That could have been so interesting 😭😭😭 enemies to lovers ftw.

4. All the side characters are 7000x more interesting and compelling than the main couple. Geilish/Dougal is a GREAT pairing btw—he’s the frustrated rebellious brother of the laird and she’s a time traveling pagan witch lady like. I want to know their love story. The laird lives with a visible disability and commands the respect of his men—what’s his story? He clearly loves his wife—what about their marriage? The English doctor dude? He’s cool. The guy who wanders the heath. What’s going on with him? I basically care much more about everyone else EXCEPT jaime and Claire but those characters are shoved aside again and again to make room for what? Jaime does something stupid or Claire does something stupid or he has to whisper Sassenach in her ear or something.

5. The amount of sexual assault on this show is just—so. much. Like gratuitous. I have a pretty high squick threshold but my LORD IN HEAVEN. They invested an entire episode into an extremely graphic assault and then the next season—all Jaime needed was some good Heterosexual Monogamous Love and he’s fine, I guess. They made some effort to show trauma but not enough to justify spending like 45 minutes exclusively focused on extended scenes of sexual violence. Claire gets assaulted like 5 times. I guess (spoiler) something happens at the end of season 5 and she’s dealing with the fall out of that in the newest season but it’s like—how is this different than any other thing that’s happened to you for like 10 years.

6. Frank is great actually? They have a heathy, mutually satisfactory sex life. He’s supportive of her. He’s intelligent. And most importantly, he comes from a time with indoor plumbing, vaccines, and cars. Like I am sorry but there is no love—I don’t CARE if this Scottish man is my soulmate—I am LEAPING at the chance to get back to the 20th century lol.

7. The entire Bugle Boy subplot made me want to curl up and DIE

8. The reunion scene between Frank and Claire had so much potential to be interesting and it’s so frustrating because it’s NOT. Like this is a situation where she is seeing a man who she LOVED who had a startling resemblance to a man who horribly abused her family, she’s split between two places. Like there’s so much meat there and it’s—they erased all the nuance of the situation and I am so sad.

9. Queer coded people are only good to be villains who are creepy on the Good Straight Men and die in horribly violent ways. Like I don’t think all queer people should be good in media. But when every single gay character is…a psychopath? Ummmm. Also, distinct lack of lesbians. (This could be different in later seasons but that’s the trend in the earlier parts)

10. The whole we’re going to save highland culture thing by making Culloden happen is dumb. Claire, you know how you save highland culture—maybe learn to speak the language lol? For someone concerned with cultural heritage management, this woman isn’t that concerned with learning much about them. Maybe, concentrate on preserving Highland traditions when you get back to the 20th century? The best way to save the highland culture is to actually engage with it, Claire.

11. Am I the only one who remembers when Jaime non consensually beats his wife? Just me? Okay, just me.

[myapathyhaspeaked]

having a bad grasp of what emotions you’re feeling sucks, especially if you have over the top emotional reactions, because it’s so easy to invalidate yourself. like i’ll be in bed spiraling and start to cry, but in my head i don’t feel sad. like i’m thinking about how lonely i am and tears are in my eyes, but i don’t feel upset or ripped up, i don’t feel duress, i’m just casually breaking down. and it makes me feel like i’m doing it for attention (you know, for the audience of stuffed animals in my room at 2 am) or that i’m trying to make myself seem sad so i can have a more interesting life, if that makes sense.

and the even more annoying thing is when you have over the top emotional reactions for things that don’t make you that upset, and you know aren’t meant to make you upset. i can understand why i would cry after thinking about the fact that my parents only love me when i am a good child, but why the fuck am i trying not to cry because my dad sat on the opposite side of the table when we went out to eat and i wanted to show him a meme once we sat done. cus it’s very confusing when in your head you’re like “well shucks.” and then you feel your eyes watering. what the heck???

any ways i hope we do labs in my psych class i’m going to be the best survey participant. how did this make me feel? ummmm i have no idea. what is the “i want to rock back and forth and make noises” emotion, miss?