#ummm yeah its all in the keep reading really

[miumura]

LIPSTICK TREND WITH ENHYPEN !

💄 — the tiktok lipstick trend with enhypen

PAIRING bf!enhypen x gn!reader

GENRE fluff, established relationship

WARNINGS kisses obviously, ummm nothing else possibly??

( ‘💌’ ) note : tysm anon for requesting !! i was planning to write this so i’m glad i got this ask <3 so i hope you enjoy 🤍

💋 — HEESEUNG

— this guy will probably laughing his nervousness off ngl LMAOOO 😭 but then he realizes, he's been dating you for a while so why should he be nervous for ??

— he's probably going to be super flirty as you're kissing him ... like giving you a gaze that's gonna make you nervous 😵‍💫

— but then after all that he gets shy as you continue to kiss his face LMAO . like let’s talk about the duality 😪😪😪

— "you love kissing me that much?" LIKE IF U DONT SHUT UP RIGHT NOWWW .

— he would shower you with compliments as you're doing the trend yk 🤗 like his man cannot make you start recording bc he’s giving you literal BUTTERFLIES .

— goes back to the tiktok you both made just to rewatch the vid about five times before looking at some comments 😊 but he forgets honestly and just ends up watching ur tiktoks cause ure so 🫣🫣🤗🤗🤭🤭😍😍🥰🥰😘😘 u get it LMAO

💋 — JAY

— when you show him a tiktok of someone doing the trend, he's chill about it at first.

— "you wanna try this?" "yep!" "okay then."

— he tries to act calm but he's actually not 😊 like he looks "okay" on the outside but he's panicking in the inside

— like you only figure out how he's actually feeling because of his red face or the heat of his face when you kiss him

— probably tells you which lipstick to pick out and probably even offers to apply on for you. like he gives a bunch of compliments so you’re the one who turns up red next

— looks at you with such LOVING eyes like he can't keep his eyes off you as your planting kisses all over his face...im giggling like why are you still maintaining eye contact

— even when recording, hes gonna look at you lovingly that people comment under your tiktok wishing for a man like that ... but yeah hes all yours 😊 (im feeding into ur deluluness and mines)

💋 — JAKE

— he's both shy and excited when you bring up wanting to do this trend. like this guy cannot stand still BUT ITS CUTE like just imagine him waiting excitedly as you go to get your lipstick 😪

— he's looking at you with such adoration as you're putting on the lipstick :(

— your kisses on his face is ticklish for him despite how often you kiss him on his cheeks 😭 he's just probably nervous but lets not talk about that

— you might have to tell him to stop moving though CAUSE ITS SMUDGING THE KISSES ON HIS FACE 😭 like he’s not even doing it on purpose, he just can’t do it

— like it smudges so bad you have to reapply it on his face (basically redo) but who said you both were complaining about that ?

— so at one point he just closes his eyes and let you do his thing bc if he looks at you, hes gonna move 😭

— everyone would be commenting on how cute your bf is </3 and he would def be reading through the comments, giggling and showing them to you i love jake

💋 — SUNGHOON

— showing him the tiktok trend, this guy will just be SOOO quiet like he can’t process it really … like is he really going to be doing this trend with you ??$ sounds like a dream come true to him

— you might have to poke him to start speaking cause he’s just letting the video replay and just staring at it LMAO its funny to imagine but its so hoon

— “hey…hey!” “huh?” “are we going to do the trend?” “oh uh, sure”

— he may not seem to be excited but trust me, he is. he’s just nervous for no reason … he’s letting you doing your thing and is giving such a wide smile :( LIKE JUST IMAGINE IT ugh his smile is actually perfect.

— i think he would be ticklish too ngl … like he thinks about it too much so he kinda gets ticklish as you’re planting kisses on his face … as if you don’t give him pecks on his cheeks daily

— would get so immerse at looking at you that he forgets about the tiktok … you probably would scold him bc of the amount of times you have to recreate the video .. but he just finds you pretty okay let him be 😢

— gets shy when he sees the comments under your video like he turns RED okay… and he giggles at them LORD it would be really cute seeing him like that 🙁

💋 — SUNOO

— you and sunoo are so down to do any kind of tiktok trend! whenever you both have any time together, you guys would attempt any trend you see on the fyp LMAO

— so he’s super down for anything!!! it doesn’t take that much convincing for him because he would automatically say yes.

— matter fact, sunoo might find the trend sooner than you do. we know how updated he is with trends, i mean, have we seen his tiktoks?? so yes, he would show you the trend first.

— he would be really excited!! like imagine that wide smile and him being like “isn’t this such a good idea?” with that voice tone IF YKYK.

— once you agree it doesn’t take much for you to agree either, he’s already rushing into the room to get a lipstick for you LMAO he’s just so excited to do anything for you really.

— you both would probably create multiple drafts, not because you guys mess up or anything. you guys could do it perfectly on the first try, but you both wanted to create more to keep in drafts for only both of your eyes :( <3

— he would probably help you pick out which one to post, and he picks out the best one im telling you. and the tiktok would be such a hit like sunoo has an eye for this okay 🙏 LMAOO

💋 — JUNGWON

— still living the shy jungwon type LET ME LIVE

— like u can’t tell me he wouldn’t be super red as you bring up the tiktok idea AND IMAGINING HIS SMILE TOO im dead.

— he would say it would be great and would anxiously wait as you get everything.

— he’d smile so hard that you would end up kissing his dimples as well HAISNS

— he would like hold his breath as you leave pecks on him. like you get closer, inhale. LIKE its so funny to you because its sooo noticeable that he is holding his breath 😭 so you just laugh at him instead of pointing it out.

— but he would REALLY enjoy it and would get sad once you finish kissing all over his face….he may or may not try to mess up the tiktok multiple times….

— once you both decide on the perfect video, he WILL blush when he watches it on his own time.

— he’s just the sweetest . how many times have i said that on any jwon related work

💋 — NIKI

— this guy was WAITING for this day to come and let me explain

— usually niki would find trends for you both to do first, so you really never looked for any. so obviously, niki found this trend way before you did! but this trend…he couldn’t bring it up to you THAT EASILY. why??

— 1) you two always do the silly kind of trends 2) he would be shy 3) and you would tease the hell out of him.

— so what does he do?? MAKE IT SUPER OBV 😭 . like he would attempt to have the trend playing on his phone, throw it closer to you, and just walks away HOPING you would see it. HES SO SILLY BUT ITS CUTE

— after you not noticing his attempts, he just gives up thinking he would never ever do this trend in his lifetime and would die thinking about this hes so dramatic UNTIL a miracle happened…you brought up the trend idea 😱

— this guy cannot contain himself like he would say yes immediately and not even tease you by saying no at first.

— he’s in his little own happy world as you kiss him LIKE u think its so sweet when he acts like this </3 !!!

— “we should do more trends like these,” he would say after you both finish filming and you agreed. and once you did…niki finally brings up another trend to do — something that isn’t so silly this time 😊

ENHA PERM TAGLIST 1 — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @dioroits @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[abiiors]

cherry // ross macdonald x reader

valentine's week - day 1: secret admirer

a/n: before you say anything, yes there will be a part 2 that's literally just a nasty fuck fest. i just wanted to get the plot bits out of the way and it got way too long as you can see. cw: age gap (10-12 years), highkey ooc, incredibly self-indulgent btw, ummm kinda dom/sub? hand kink, kinda corruption kink also wc: 7.8k

it’s been twenty minutes that they’re all sat in this room—concrete walls, a little like matty’s house honestly, simple furniture and minimalist decor. it feels anything but sparse though—there’s the mic guy and the cameraman and a few assistants. there’s the host, a cheery, fresh faced woman dressed to the nines. but ross can’t stop staring. which is a problem because he really should stop staring and focus on his actual job. except the girl in front of him is distraction personified. 

next to him matty babbles on about the cultural and political significance of their latest album—all interesting, thoughtful stuff. ross, however, stares at the girl transcribing it all. and that’s what she is really, a girl. all softness and innocence, gently rolling the end of a pencil between her perfectly pink lips in a room full of lecherous men. unaware. aloof. or maybe he’s projecting. maybe he’s the lecherous one for staring at a girl who’s most definitely in her early twenties; at the pencil between her lips, at her cherry red dress.

every now and then she pulls the pencil away from her mouth and scribbles a few notes—something in neat, curving handwriting that is a little too far for him to read properly. every once in a while she also types something on her laptop, long, painted nails clacking so softly on the keyboard that the mic probably won’t pick up any of the sounds. 

on her notepad, ross can see little doodled flowers—a bit janky and uneven petals, underneath it she’s doodled a box. thin, pencil lines tracing the same shape over and over again until the paper almost rips. 

he tries not to be so obvious—tries not to stare at her face so much, at the curve of her cheek and the long lashes almost touching it, at the sharp line of her jaw, and the claw clip holding her hair up and out of her face. a few strands escape though, blowing gently against the air blasting from the aircon. 

he tries to keep his attention back on the interview. and he tries to give himself little goals—he can only look at her if matty says a certain word. he can only look at her every time the host laughs—all trivial stuff that goes out the window every time she shifts in her seat and he catches the movement from the corner of his eye. 

more than a few times, he catches her staring back—big eyes lingering right on his face with a distinctly interested expression. every time it happenes, he straightens a bit more and runs his hands through his neatly trimmed beard. 

the girl follows the movement with her eyes and ross wonders what she makes of him. 

“ross?” someone calls out for him. the host stares, expectant, and he stifles the urge to curse. searching his memory for the question that was just asked is useless; it’s not like he was listening to a word that was said in the last two minutes. but now everyone’s eyes are on him and the collar of his shirt feels tighter than it is. his cheeks grow warmer but ross laughs it off. 

“yeah, agree with what matty said,” he replies quickly and clears his throat. he has no idea what matty said last but the host seems satisfied and moves on to the next question. the girl looks up at him again and quickly presses her lips together. still, he sees the slight quirk of them, almost like she’s trying to stifle a smile or a laugh. 

this time he stares back just a bit longer, meets her eyes with intention and raises an eyebrow almost in challenge; just to see if she’d keep staring so blatantly. her eyes widen a fraction and the pencil stills on her lips. her teeth graze its end and almost dent her soft lip. 

ross sees the movement of her iris, unsure where to look. she fidgets in her seat, shifting again and crossing her legs. then she averts her eyes entirely and goes back to scribbling on her notepad.

“your head’s in the fucking clouds,” george deadpans the moment they step outside on the balcony. there’s already a cigarette dangling between his fingers and smoke curls around his head. 

ross groans. “haven’t slept properly.”

it’s not exactly a lie. he was up pretty late last night but ross lights a cigarette of his own if only to avoid looking at george. they stand there in comfortable silence for a bit, letting the smoke settle into their lungs and blowing it out. matty’s boisterous laugh floats outside and ross thinks back to the shitshow of an interview. 

there’s a reason he hates doing these, there’s a reason matty always speaks on all of their behalf. but ross knows big publications want all four of them and it’s good to create hype and get the fans excited. and he knows it’s just necessary—

the balcony door open with a creek. 

at first, ross doesn’t turn. it’s probably adam who’s bored of the conversation or matty who’s managed to escape it but out of the corner of his eye, he sees george turn around and straighten imperceptibly. 

and so he follows suit. 

the girl clears her throat. “uh… sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you.” there’s a slight tremor in her voice and she looks up quickly from george to ross. she’s shorter than he’d realised before, only coming up to the base of his throat, fucking tiny compared to him and george and he pointedly ignores what it does to his brain to see her staring up at him, craning her neck just to meet his eyes. 

“ross…mr macdonald. sir.” she comes to a stop in front of him, all wide-eyed and flustered and calling him sir for fucks sake. he can almost feel the laugh george is trying to hold in. this isn’t the first time a nervous fan’s approached them and he’s had far weirder interaction. still he plans to smack george later for making him lose his composure

“just ross,” he corrects on autopilot then gestures for her to continue. he expects the usual—a selfie or autograph on a vinyl. to his surprise she holds up a phone in front of him and ross almost gapes before reigning it in. 

“your phone,” she says. “you left it on the set.”

quickly, he taps his back pocket and feels nothing. 

up close, he can see the tiny smudge of mascara under her eyelashes and the precise shade of red on her lips. up close he can smell her perfume too—sweet and warm, something that definitely suits her. 

the girls stares up at him expectantly, still holding out his phone. 

“thanks,” he mumbles, voice almost gruff and takes his phone back. his hand brushes her for just a moment—the pad of his finger against the back of her hand. but ross swears he feels a little jolt. quickly, she drops her hand and looks at his chest. 

“you’re welcome,” she says and this time her voice is a bit steadier than before. he’s about to ask her more. anything to make her talk more when george steps forward. 

“thank you, darling,” he says and gives her a winning smile, “he would have made us all search for it later.” 

the girl blushes furiously under all the attention, trying to maintain her bravado from before. ross stifles the urge to roll his eyes but takes the time to quickly look at her again. her hair’s down now, falling over her shoulders and hiding half her neck that was exposed to him before. he has the sudden and visceral urge to touch it, to run his fingers through it and tug on the strands until her chin tilts up to him. until she’s looking right at him. 

what the actual fuck is wrong with him!

he steps back and takes a deep drag of his cigarette untilt he smoke burns, until his eyes water. the girl nods and stammers a goodbye. then she quickly scurries back inside. 

george snorts and ross shoots him a death glare. 

“head in the fucking clouds,” george singsongs under his breath and puts out the rest of his cigarette. then before ross has the chance to respond, he opens the balcony door and disappears inside. 

ross stays back on the balcony and groans in his hands. then he lights another cigarette.

there’s a rot in his brain, gnawing at his neurons and eating through the organ until everything is replaced by a single image of her sucking on the end of her pencil absentmindedly. ross has been through this scenario a dozen times now. it was fine when he was busy, staving the thought away by replacing it with work related things. 

a million things he’s got on his schedule…

but in the comfort of his home, his bedroom, he can’t stop picturing the hollow of her throat—delicate and unmarred skin in direct contrast to her dress, her voice calling him sir. god, she’d even looked at him like a fucking fawn—all wide-eyed and unsure. he would have fucking loved to trace his finger over her bottom lip right then, if only to steal a sweet sound of surprise right out of her. 

he’s going straight to hell for this, straight to the fiery pits for doing what he’s about to do. 

ross props himself up on the pillows, delaying the inevitable, or trying to at least. but the ache in him won’t subside, the throbbing between his legs, the dizziness as all his blood rushes south. the tent in his joggers taunting him as if he were a teenager in heat. he groans. the sound echoes around the room. 

shame courses through him, already overshadowed by the heat that flows through his veins at the speed of lightning. 

he needs to stop thinking about her, this girl who he has barely said two words to. maybe this is how he gets her out of his system. instinctively, his hand creeps towards his thighs. 

he wastes no time dipping a hand in his pants, the other arm supports his head; nothing he hasn’t done a million times since he hit puberty. somehow this feels more electric than ever before. 

ross palms himself, eyes fluttering close and muscles pulled taut. he’s aware of everything—from the stretch of his soft cotton t-shirt against his skin, to his head touching the bedframe. he needs to keep what little sanity he has left, trying to sort through all the depraved and deviant thoughts racing through his mind. what would she have done if she could read his thoughts, if she could see him like this—a mess at the mere thought of her? would she kneel down and crawl towards him, hunger clearly written all over her face, her big eyes hooded with lust. 

ross groans loudly, letting out a string of curses, imagining that it’s her hand wrapped around him—small and inexperienced. stroking him up and down with unsurely; long, tentative, languid strokes making his head swim with deluded thoughts. 

his cock is painfully hard. ross knows for a fact that he’s never wanted to fuck someone with this intensity before, never before has his brain reverted to its most basic instinct like this.

thoughts of taking her all over his house makes him fuck his fist faster and faster. gone are the gentle, sensual strokes from before, now his hips buck as he thrusts into his hand. his mind plays a slideshow of made up images—her bent over on his kitchen island, the marble biting into her hips as he pounds into her. he would speak the dirtiest and filthiest words to her as he watches her squirming with want; her pussy swollen and wet. his brain conjoures up the phantom feel of her silky tresses between his fingers, gripped tightly in his hands. 

ross chokes out a gasp that turns into a broken moan. 

this is wrong, this is so wrong and sinful and every other synonym there is for it yet his mind refuses to move on from her. rather, it conjures up more images—her jaw slack with pleasure, eyes rolled back in her head as she rides him at her own pace, figuring it out along the way. he would flip her at the last second, of course, looming over her like a dominating presence, wrenching another orgasm from her after she’s already cum on his tounge, his hand, his stomach. but she would let go for him again. she would do anything to be his good girl. 

his pumps grow rougher and more erratic, gasps leaving his mouth, echoing around the room. 

fuck. fuck. fuck. 

ross wonders if she’s doing the exact same thing he is, hand buried between her thighs, his name spilling out from her perfect lips. he wonders if that would absolve him of his guilt, his shameless act. it’s the thought of her soft sounds that tips him over the edge until he cums so hard, his vision goes black.

his strokes slow down, back to slow and sensual as he watches his cum flow out of him; milky white ropes splashed on his stomach, on his thigh. his hand is a mess, the tissues he had tried to grab at the last second are nowhere near enough to contain all of it. 

with her, ross wouldn’t need any of that. he would fill her up with his cum, fucking it into her, watching it drip out of her mixed with her own release, making a mess of her thighs that he could clean with his tongue. 

fuck it. he was damned already. he might as well enjoy the ride. 

somewhere in this city, she has no clue about all the dark and wretched things ross wants to do to her. and maybe he could get her out of his mind now, have her out of his system. 

he could just as easily fuck someone tomorrow. and someone else the day after. 

yes. yes, that’s what he should do. he should forget about the girl he’s known for less than twenty-four hours. that’s what he should do. 

he settles on it too, making a mental note to text one of his old flings who might still be in the city. he feels very strongly about his resolve too. the interview is done, he’s likely never seeing her again. 

until she shows up at the studio the morning after.

the day starts like any other. he drives up to the studio, one of the assistants tells him that the band will be shadowed for a magazine profile—some prolific publication that’s going to document their entire process ahead of the release. he doesn’t worry about it too much, talking is matty’s job. sometimes george chimes in. ross and adam speak only as a last resort. 

besides he has his to-do list cut out for him. 

last night—the entire day really—was a momentary distraction. now he’s back on track and focused. the track playing on his headphones is all he is thinking about. all he should be thinking about. until jordan taps him on the shoulder. 

“need you for a few photos, mate. and the magazine people are here,” he turns around to leave, almost walks up to the door too then turns back to ross to mouth something. someone new! followed by a waggle of his eyebrows. 

ross shakes his head, sets his things aside and walks out with jordan. 

everyone’s out in the lobby, and ross hears matty laugh before he sees him. then he hears another familiar laugh and turns the corner to a familiar face. he knows tobias, who shakes his hand and gives him a friendly pat on the back. he’s met tobias before—the man is soft spoken and has a keen ear for good music, a quality ross admires and the thought of him documenting their recording process makes him happy. 

tobias goes around making the rounds, hugging george and joking with the sound engineers. then he stops and turns to look at them. 

“oh i almost forgot!” he claps his hands together, “need to introduce to a fresh face.”

behind tobias, ross catches a movement. and it’s then that everything around him fades away instantly. 

there is no mistaking it. it’s her. it’s the girl, stepping out a bit unsurely from behind her boss and smiling tentatively at the room. he observes how she doesn’t look at him—no, rather she doesn’t look at anyone, cleverly staring at a spot just near them. but never direct eye contact and never more than a few seconds.

unlike yesterday, she’s in a simple jeans and a t-shirt—grey with a faded queen logo on it—but it fits her like a glove regardless. and when she introduces herself in a lilting voice, ross feels his thoughts from yesterday threaten to make a comeback. 

this cannot be happening… behaving like a horny teenager once was enough. he doesn’t need her working here and being close to him constantly, doesn’t need her to constantly be a presence in his thoughts. thoughts that are already way too focussed on the way her eyes light up after seeing him. it’s a trick of the light and nothing else. he’s sure of it.  

she introduces herself—her name, the fact that she’s here to transcribe and take notes and assist tobias. she tells them she really liked their last album and that it was her introduction to them. matty teases her about not being a fan and she blushes deeply, barely making eye contact with him. 

ross, in a world of his own, burns with irrational jealousy. of course, it would be matty who makes her blush and gets her to open up. matty’s a flirt—charming and confident and knows how to get people to come out their shells, even the shy ones it seems. in contrast ross feels about as subtle as a boulder. 

but she seems slightly relaxed after that conversation, even throwing him a look once (and only once) when he plucks on his bass string a bit too loud. ross doesn’t look at her for the rest of the day though, not a single time. no matter how tempting it is. even when she’s buried deep in her transcripts, murmuring to herself and listening to a recording of something adam said over and over again. 

even when she crosses and uncrosses her legs, sucks on the end of her pencil again—clearly a habit, he’s come to realise. not when she stretches and the hem of her t-shirt rides up, exposing a sliver of smooth skin and the hints of cherry coloured lace. not even when she asks him where the espresso machine is. 

the rest of the day ross spends hunched over his bass, glowering at the floor. and he doesn’t manage to focus even once.

day two he’s in the studio bright and early, gasping for some very strong coffee after tossing and turning the whole night (quite honestly, he’s gasping for something stronger but it’s 8 am and becoming an alcoholic now is not an option) 

every time he closed his eyes, his brain would haunt him with images of soft skin and lips caught between teeth and sucking on the end of a pencil. every time his brain sent his body’s supply of blood to one organ and one organ alone and ross has had enough of it. 

starting today he’s focused. he’s serious! 

that is until he walks into the tiny kitchen and sees her on her toes, stretching and struggling to get a coffee mug down. a red one. the same one she’d used yesterday. with some amusement, he also notices that there are at least two mugs near the coffee machine—one plain black and one with a swirly pattern. but she hasn’t cast either of them a single glance. 

she’s stubborn, someone who knows what she wants.

shamelessly, he staggers to a stop at the threshold, watching her lean against the counter and wiggle her fingertips in the air as if that would magically summon the mug. her calf muscles are pulled taut and visible in the dress she’s wearing. each time she stretches, he sees a flash of her thighs. 

his fingers twitch by his sides, desperate to what what it would feel like to drag his knuckles against the inside of her thigh, trailing them up and up and up until he reaches her hip. how she would react if he pinched the skin between his fingers, if he marked it with his teeth. 

“need some help?” in the early morning stillness of the kitchen, his voice comes out a bit too loud and a moment later she startles, whipping her head to look at him and hand coming up to her thudding chest. 

“christ!” she gasps loudly, closing her eyes and opening them again to look at him properly. “ross–shit! sorry, you scared me a bit is all.”

he can’t help the way his eyes linger on her face—big, wide eyes and scarlet mouth parted open as she blows out a breath. when he starts walking towards her, she stays in her spot, practically transfixed on him as he comes closer. ross stops right in front of her, their bodies so close that another inch and he would be pressing into her, or rather pushing her body back against the kitchen counter. with some satisfaction, he also realises how he towers over her—almost a head taller and practically twice her size. 

her breath catches in her throat when he reaches for the mug, pulling it out and setting it next to her. but he makes no move to step back, not until she finally looks up at him instead of just staring at his chest. 

her throat moves, her pupils dilate. almost as if she’s doing it involuntarily, she quickly looks at his lips and back into his eyes. 

for perhaps the hundredth time, he’s blown away by how beautiful she is, how fucking perfect. and everything he’s thought about her comes rushing back to him, all the times he’s pictured her mouth and her hand, her soft sounds and the feel of her hair between his fingers. his train of thought runs him over so thoroughly that ross actually staggers back a bit, averting his gaze and pointing at the mug. 

he has to wait a beat and clear his throat before he can speak. 

“there.”

“thank you…” she trails off unsurely, voice barely above a whisper. “did you want some too? i was just about to brew some fresh coffee.”

all he can do is nod. and when she moves around the room, getting other things out and making coffee, all he can do is watch.

by day ten, they talk a few more times, each time being interrupted by someone or the other—first it’s tobias, assigning her frankly trivial tasks (in ross’ opinion anyway) that she agrees to happily. then it’s matty coming over to shamelessly flirt with her which honestly makes ross want to deck him with his bass even though he knows it’s harmless. 

but at least with matty she opens up slightly—telling him she’s been working for tobias for almost two years now and that it’s her first adult job. ross finds out that she’s not from london, instead she shares a flat with a friend. 

day ten is also when she stays at the studio much later than anyone else, even when the skies outside darken and turn grey and flashes of lighting burst through every few minute. ross watches her anxiously stare out the window once it starts drizzling a little before she buries herself into work again, sorting through the video and audio footage of that day and making her notes that tobias seems to praise so much. 

and so ross does the same, putting on his headphones and focusing of the actual music instead of the tip of her nails digging into her jaw, creating slight crescent moons. this time, he even manages to stay focused for ten whole minutes until he hears unsure footsteps walking towards him. 

ross looks up at her, nervously playing with the ring on her index finger and takes off his headphones. 

“you need anything?”

she shrugs, looking at him and then around him briefly. “yeah i just needed a little break from work and, uh… barely anyone else seems to be here?”

barely anyone. he’d rather there was no one here at all. and even then, the urge to seduce her into the little soundproof recording booth weighs strongly on him. it would be just him and her and the tiny cramped space and all her sounds would belong to him and only him—

“ross?” he jerks back to her looking expectantly at him before her eyes widen. “uness you’re busy, i don’t want to be a bother. sorry.”

he quickly dismisses her apology, motioning for the chair opposite him before ross smirks at her. “so you’d like to sit there and stare at me huh?” 

he feels a little evil for enjoying the way she sputters, trying to come up with a retort or just plain denial or whatever else but he gets a little distracted by the faint red tinge to her face…

what else would make her blush like that? he can think of a few thing for sure.

“what? no! no, i just…” she scrunches her eyes shut, trying to gather her bearings. “i like watching you work.”

oh that’s certainly interesting. 

“just me? not the others?”

“uh, well.” she leans back in her chair slightly, getting a bit more comfortable than before and catching her bottom lip betweem her teeth for a second. just long enough for ross to go entirely rigid. 

“you’re really still when you work,” she continues, “it’s quite calming.” 

oh he’s still alright. if only so he won’t give into the urge of constantly looking at her and following her every move with his eyes like some creep. he has to stay still if he needs to stop himself from going to up to her to try and flirt and like matty does, when he will inevitably end up making a fool out of himself. 

but she’s entirely unaware of his inner conundrum. she’s all too absorbed in her analysis of the band.

“matty bounces and paces around and it makes me slightly nervous. i like watching george when he’s on the drums or the piano but lately he’s been doing more production work so he’s always on his laptop and well, that’s slightly… boring”

“boring?!” he laughs sharply. “i should tell george that.” 

and then he finds it even more amusing when her eyes widen and she scrambles to backpeddle. there’s nothing to salvage it though. so she just sighs in defeat. 

“you wouldn’t! would you?” she looks at him with those big, round eyes and juts out her bottom lip and fuck! she could ask him to sign over half his possessions right now and he would say yes. 

“no,” ross laughs again, softer this time. “your secret’s safe with me.”  

this time he sets the bass aside, all pretenses of work gone as he leans back on the sofa, one arm behind his head. “what about adam? why not him” 

she contemplates her answer for a bit before speaking. “i don’t think he likes other people watching him, he looks a bit uncomfortable.” 

“love, half our job hinges on other people watching us…”

“no, not like that!” she straightens, gesticulating wildly, “not when you’re playing songs you’ve already played hundreds of times. i’m talking about when he’s experimenting and writing new stuff. i don’t think he likes to be watched then.” 

and once again ross is impressed by her astute observation skills. he knows how young she is—younger than him by a decade, yet here she is, reading his best friend of twenty years perfectly in just ten days. 

so he leans forward, properly interested now and scans her face for a bit, trying to get a proper read of her, of what she might say next. “and is that what you like to do? watch people?” 

“sometimes,” she shrugs, “when i find them really interesting.” 

“so you find me really interesting.”

he expects her to blush and stutter again. it is a bold statement after all and yet again she surprises him. “yeah… yes, i do.” 

this time she’s the one with her eyes roaming over his face, maybe a bit over his arms too (something he observes with an immense level of satisfaction) and the way they strain against his t-shirt. 

“good,” he smiles. “now i know i’m not the only one dying to know more about you…”

he tries not to flirt with her too directly but they talk. he tries not to ask anything and everything all at once and freak her out before she’s entirely comfortable with him but with every question she relaxes even more, leans forward and places her chin in the palm of her hand while he’s explaining something inconsequential about his bass. 

it’s only the muscle memory that keeps him going when the strap of her top slides away and a sliver of lace peaks out. 

his fingers still on the strings and she frowns. “no, play! i like the way your fingers move.”

the words slip out before she even realises it. in fact, it doesn’t dawn on her until he freezes completely and she goes bright red!

“i– no, that’s– i didn’t–”

but ross laughs it away, if only so he won’t fucking dwell on it until his head feels like it’s going to explode. 

“let’s go outside for a bit,” he offers and she accepts gratefully. 

the air on the balcony is cool—the sort of breeze before a thunderstorm—and he’s itching for a cigarette. ross looks at her again as she stares out at the trees outside, swaying with the wind. one strong gust and she shivers. her skin erupts in goosebumps. 

“you’re cold.”

she quickly shakes her head. “it’s fine, it’s so nice outside. i don’t mind that much.”

he wishes he was wearing some kind of a jacket that he could give her. the though of her in his clothes does something absolutely primal to him to the point where he has to physically stop himself from grabbing her by the waist and kissing her till she’s dizzy and moaning in his mouth. and she doesn’t help matters by moving a little closer to him, until they’re almost touching, until her arm is almost pressed up against his chest. 

“you’re cold,” he says again, voice tinged with roughness but she clicks her tongue. 

“‘s alright. you’re warm.”

“am i?” he chuckles deeply and takes a hold of her by her arm. “come here then. have a cigarette with me.”

it’s about as bold as he’s been with her. she whips her head up to look at him, and ross doesn’t miss the way her gaze dips to his mouth. just for a moment, maybe even half a second until she quickly looks away and at his chest. 

“i don’t… i don’t smoke.”

“ever?”

that makes her giggle. “no ross. i don’t smoke. ever.”

he wants to say something but the words don’t come out easily. the palm of his hand feels electric just from touching her arm, just from being so close to her. and the breeze all around them makes it impossible to escape her sweet perfume.  

“i’m not opposed to trying though,” she continues shyly and ross quirks an eyebrow. 

“you could try with me…”

“i’d like that.” he studies her face for a moment, looks at her big eyes staring up at him with a mix of sincerity and interest. 

“do you know what to do?”

she mulls it over for a moment, pinching her lips together until they’re in a kissy pout. “sure, i’ve seen people do it. i’ve seen you do it.”

“have you now?”

“mmhmm, seems easy enough.”

so ross pulls out a fresh one from the pack and places it between her lips. his finger grazes her bottom lip, the touch electrifying, making him linger there until her gaze dips to his mouth again and a light flush covers her face. she shivers again and steps even closer to him than before. 

“should i light it then?”

she nods tentatively, and ross flicks the lighter on. the flame wavers, almost goes out until he shields it with his palm and brings it up to her mouth. the fire casts a warm glow on her face, in her eyes. and she’s somehow even more breathtaking than he’s ever imagined. 

once the cigarette lights, she takes an unsure inhale and breaks out into a cough until there are tears brimming on her lashline and she’s pushing ross away lightly for laughing at her. 

“you’re helpless,” he teases. “here. let me.”

his hands graze her lips once again as he takes the cigarette from between her lips. it’s smudged with her lipstick, something sheer and pink. then he places it in his mouth, lazily taking a drag. 

“watch.” she obeys instantly, pupils dialating when her eyes linger on his mouth until her lips part and she swallows visibly. he takes the moment to blow the smoke out, bending down so he can blow it in her parted mouth without startling her too much. her eyes widen and she sucks in sharply but this time she doesn’t cough. instead, she bunches her lips together and tries to blow out some of the smoke she inhaled. it comes out in broken wisps and disappears on the wind. 

“there we go, darling,” he speaks roughly and watches her blush all the way to the tip of her ears. “should we try that again?”

she nods. he takes another drag. this time, he grips her chin between his fingers, tilting it up until her mouth is so close to his and he can practically feel her breath on his skin. her pupils are so blown out, her eyes almost look black. then he lightly brushes her lips to his and blows the smoke out again. 

ross stays where he is. he even pulls her closer until she’s pressed against him and her eyes flutter shut. her breath hitches, her hands move up to his biceps, gripping onto him until she exhales again and smoke caresses his mouth before dissipating once more.

“a-again,” she whimpers but he’s already taking the cigarette out of his mouth and putting it out on the railing. 

“yeah?” he challenges just to see if she’d move away but her hands move up from his biceps, fingers traliing up his arms until they’re at the nape of his neck, nails softly trailing down his skin. and when she shivers again, it’s definitely not because of the cold. 

“yeah,” she nods and presses her lips onto his.

his heart skips at how unsure it feel, how she has to stand on the very tips of her toes and hold onto his just so she won’t lose her balance. he doesn’t give her a lot of time to overthink it though. as soon as he’s over the initial shock, he wraps and arms around her until she’s fully pressed against him, effectively trapped between him and the railing. the light drizzle of rain starts again. ross grabs her face in his hands, keeping her still so her can kiss her properly—the kind that leaves her gasping when he grazes her bottom lip with his teeth, the kind that has her leaning against him entirely for balance when her knees almost buck under her. the kind that makes her moan involuntarily but ross doesn’t let her pull away in embarrassment. instead, he pulls her up until her legs are wrapped around his middle, her thighs pressed against his waist and his hands under her ass. and then he carries her back inside. 

just like he predicted, he fills up the tiny little space of the recording booth. the mic stand clatters and she moves it aside with a ferocity that’s unlike anything he’s seen from her before, it’s a nice surprise, to see just a glimpse into her feral side. 

ross groans into the kiss and slides his hand under her ass. his fingers snake up her neck, gripping her jaw in a grip that’s almost too tight. it’s tempting to mark her up, to leave behind bitemarks and fingerprints everywhere for people to see. she responds in kind and bites his bottom lip just hard enough to make him hiss. 

“someone’s going to hear us”

“it’s a soundproof booth darling, no one’s going to know a thing.”

his hand that’s been cupping her jaw slowly moves to her throat and she lets out a whine so desperate and needy that all the blood rushes straight to his cock. she’s practically begging for more at this point and he hasn’t even properly touched her yet. 

he thinks back to all the times he’s thought of her like this, so malleable in his hands—thought of the feel of her hair between his fingers that damned bottom lip that’s driven him so crazy over the last few days. he can’t resist nipping at it and the sting makes her breath catch. 

“i’ve nev-i’ve never done this.”

his heart thuds in his chest and for a second he worries she’s entirely inexperienced. not that he’d have a problem being her first… but he’d be damned if he let her first time be in a fucking recording booth. 

“done what?”

“hooked up.” she clarifies almost through a gritted tone, almost like she’s trying not to be ashamed of it. “outside of relationships i mean.”

“no? do you want to stop?”

she takes a beat to think then shakes her head. “no, i-i just really want you.”

ross hums in approval. it does stroke his ego immensely if he’s being honest and he can’t help but see how far he can push her buttons. “do you now? what do you want about me?”

just like she had outside, she blushes furiously, to the point where she has to stare right at his chest and take a moment to compose herself. her hands never let go of his chest though. and it’s safe to assume she can feel his racing heartbeat just like he can hear hers. 

“your hands are… i like your hands.”

“do you think about my hands a lot?”

“i don’t–i d—” her eyes go round again, wide as saucers, almost like it’s impossible for her to lie.

“no lying, sweetheart.” he tsks, and then bends down just until his mouth caresses her earlobe. “bad girls don’t get what they want.”

she makes a stragled noise, somewhere between a moan and a sound of protest but ross cocks his eyebrow and that shuts her up effective. a beat later, she tries again. 

“fine. yes. i think about your hands a lot. all the time…”

“and what are my hands doing when you think about them?”

he enjoys it very much when she stutters, trying and failing to meet his eyes, to say the dirty words in her head out loud. that alone is enough for his painfully hard cock to throb again. 

“go on,” he breathes over her skin and lets his hands trail up and down her body, “show me what my hands do.”

she places her palm on the back of his hand, so much smaller in comparison, and moves it down her body. he lets his fingers trail, lets the callouses pads of his fingers brush over every inch of skin he can until she stops just at the waistline of her jeans and looks up at him again. 

“i want you t-to…to touch me. use your fingers on me.”

“that what you think about hmm?” slowly, the slowest he possibly can without jumping out of his own skin, he undoes the button of her jeans. then he pulls down the zipper, all the while letting his knuckles drag across her skin. she shivers at the smallest of touches, so responsive and perfect.

“words, darling,” he taunts again. “i’ll stop touching you if you stop telling me what you want.”

“ross,” she whines, and tries to grind against his hand, tries to push it deeper in her pants but he quickly gathers her wrists together and tuts at how little strength he needs, how easily he can hold both her wrists together with just one hand while using the other to feel her up through her underwear. 

it’s soaked and he can clearly feel her clenching and unclenching, desperately trying to move her hips and grind shamelessly against his hand but he won’t give her what she wants until she forces the filthy words out.

“please!”

“you’re soaked, sweetheart. i can give you what you want but only if you ask for it.”

her eyebrows knit together and she almost looks… angry, about as feral and threatening as a little bunny. “fine…” she huffs, “i want–i want you to fuck me. with your fingers.”

the crass words sound filthier from her mouth, like she shouldn’t be saying things like these to lecherous old men in dark corners on even darker nights. “see?” he grins at her, all sharp teeth ready to almost rip into her, “was that so hard?”

when they kiss again, ross pushes his tongue inside her mouth until all he can taste is her, until all her can smell is her. his fingers move faster against her clothed pussy, making the fabric soak more than it was before and her legs spread wider, her hips move faster until she’s soaking his hand and practically rutting against it. 

she’s shaking, clenching around nothing and looking at him with tears in her eyes—so frustrated now, constantly whining for him to push his fingers inside her. slowly, ross pushes the underwear aside and circles her entrance with his middle finger. before she has the chance to whine again, he plunges the fingers inside and swallows her cry with another kiss. 

she clenches around his finger desperately, slickening his hand every time he pushes into her, more so when he adds another finger and thrusts into her faster. as a reward he lets go of her wrists and she immediately latches onto him, pushes her hands inside his shirt and lets them greedily roam all over his body. she traces his chest and down his stomach, she lets her nails trail up his back, scratching and digging into his flesh every time he thrusts his fingers deep inside her.

her breathing quickens and she starts pressing kisses to his jaw, tracing the golden chain around his neck with her tongue. every so often she tries to nip at his skin, to leave some of her own marks behind. once or twice he lets her… but it’s more fun to hear her gasp and mewl and cry out his name. 

“good girl,” he coos at her, “taking it so well, sweetheart.”

“feel so good,” she whispers and lets her head fall back. under his hand, her thigh spasms lightly and his pulse pounds all over his body—his chest and throat and stomach and fuck even his cock that so hard and leaking with precum now. 

he needs her so bad, bad enough that he entertains the idea of pulling his fingers out and bending her over right there. 

but this might be his one and only time with her and he needs to make it memorable. 

he needs her to feel him between her legs for days and taste him on her tongue for weeks. 

he needs to bottle up her gasps and whimpers and the feel of her cunt around his fingers and keep it hidden away forever. 

so he needs to make her cum over and over again until she can’t remember any other name but his. 

and he’s not about to do all that here of all places. 

“‘m so close,” she moans out, rutting her hips faster now, almost trying to match his thrusts and ross increases his pace, presses his thumb against her clit harder than before. “kiss me.”

instantly, he obeys, getting lost into the kiss and the way it sends little currents through his blood. she’s no better either, exploring the inside of his mouth with her tongue and riding her fingers until he can practically feel her dripping down his hands and wrist. until she lets out a string of curses and her eyes roll back. she lets out a broken moan, louder than all the ones before and he feels her squeeze around his fingers harder then before. 

then he feels her release, gushing onto his hand until he has to hold her up so her legs won’t give out on her. 

ross doesn’t stop though, he pumps his fingers in and out of her, each time earning himself another cry or hiss or groan until the tremor in her body subsides to a slight shiver and she presses her face into his chest, sweaty and barely coherent.

“that was–” she tries and breaks off. “you were–”

“have i left you speechless, sweetheart?” he teases pointedly. “look at me.”

when she manages to open her eyes, ross pulls his fingers out of her and brings them to her mouth. 

“suck,” he orders. to his surprise she obeys without hesitation. her mouth closes over his fingers, taking them all the way in until her lips are around the base of his fingers. then she swirls her tongue around them and licks them clean. every inch, every crevice. 

she lets them go with a slight pop and ross almost gets on his knees right there. 

“you are not what i imagined,” he whispers, not trusting his voice at all. 

“am i better?”

he only nods in response and kisses her deeply, tasting her on his tongue, tasting the tang of her release mixed with her saliva. 

“let me take you home,” he offers. “i want to fuck you. but not here. i want to fuck you properly.”

“like a gentleman,” she giggles.

he worries she might say no. but she only pulls away to button her jeans properly. 

“let’s go then,” she smiles mischievously and hooks a finger through his chain, eyeing it with intent. “i have thought of loads of other things apart from your hands.”

lemme know what you think <33

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[enluv]

The Wedding Date

PAIRING! - jay park x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! - When invited to her younger sisters wedding in two weeks, Y/N L/N faces traveling alone back to Korea for the ceremony. While this seems bad enough, Heeseung, the man who left her with no explanation after four years of dating, happens to be the groom's best man. Determined to show everyone - most of all Heeseung - that her romantic life is as full and thrilling as ever, Y/N hires the ever so charming Jay Park as her date.

word count: 7.4K+!

warnings: angst, suggestive content - it’s implied and mentioned that reader & jay did the devils tango so please note this fic is16+ BUT it’s nothing crazy so just be warned, profanity, cheating, heeseung is super duper not cool in this tbh, lmk if I missed anything !!

genre(s): 16+!! - there are no descriptions of sexual acts but it is stated briefly so read at your own risk, rom-com, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, rent-a-boyfriend, & also slow burn romance but fast paced story

coco’s love note: this story is based on and inspired by the movie “the wedding date” some parts will be similar and depict similar instances while some will be different to fit the characters and the plots I’m writing for them! thank you so much & enjoy! (remember feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3)

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Park Sunghoon and L/N Soohee to celebrate their marriage this June 30th at three o'clock.”

The words on the wedding invitation make your eyes roll, it’s laughable. Knowing neither of you had talked in almost two years it was a wonder why Soohee had chosen to invite you to her wedding. Perhaps it was your mother, she'd always wanted her two girls to get along at some point, but that was easier said then done. Or maybe it was your stepfather? He'd always said you were his favorite, maybe he'd somehow convinced her to invite you. Attending the wedding wasn't what worried you the most though, it was the thought of showing up alone.

Sure you could show up flying solo and hope no one would bat an eye, but did you really want to put yourself through that? The millions of whispers thrown at you as you walk by with no one on your arm? Absolutely not.

That's what brings you here, on a hot summers day as you read the morning paper from the patio of your home. The ads all consist of different services, some are posted for models, some plumbers, even things like babysitting, but you're on the hunt for one thing and soon enough an ad catches your eye. It’s perfect. The ad reads -

"Rent-A-Boyfriend: Are you in need of a date? Want to keep your parents off your back? Need to brag to your friends? Have to keep the relatives at bay? Well look no further! Hire me, Jay Park, profesional boyfriend. I can be anything you need me to be for any occasion! Shoot me a text at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email me at jay.park@gmail.com! Business inquiries only. Excited to date you soon!”

The ad had done its job and quickly enough you'd left Jay exactly seven different voice messages.

— YOU HAVE SEVEN VOICE MESSAGES, TO LISTEN: PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (9:17 PM):

"Errmmm...oh! It’s recording haha. Hello! This is Y/N L/N, umm so basically...oh um sorry I am so nervous haha. Okay so basically my name is Y/N and I need a date for my sisters wedding this month. Normally I'd have a date by now but I don't have the time to go out and date someone for two weeks and then force them to go to Korea with me ya know? So that's where I was hoping you'd come in! Oh shoot my time is running out...ummm okay give me a seco-"

VOICE MESSAGE #2 (9:23 PM):

"OH! HI! Sorry it cut me off last time haha oopsie! Anyways so basically the reason I need a date is because well basically I have this ex boyfriend his name is Heeseung and he kinda sorta dumped me like out of nowhere about two years ago. It was super sad but I was just like eh whatever dude. Then I came here to America haha not a good idea, anyways so yeah and he's gonna also be at that wedding because his best friend is actually the groom which makes him the best man and I can't-"

VOICE MESSAGE #3 (9:34 PM)

"Sorry cut off again but I can't show up alone it would be so embarrassing and we were engaged too by the way I don't know if I mentioned that already but yeah we dated for almost four years and he proposed to me and then boom just ended it so that's why I cannot by any means show up alone. Plus this is my baby sister that’s even more embarrassing, my younger sister getting married before me? Total loser moment."

VOICE MESSAGE #4 (10:45 PM):

"Sorry I forgot to give you details about the wedding lolz. It'll be in Korea, the countryside to be specific. It's on June 30th at 3pm at a wedding Chapel in the town we grew up in. We have to be there a week before. No worries though, l'II pay for our plane tickets. Since I'm the sister of the bride I have to do a lot of things with the bridal party and since you'll be my boyfriend you'd be doing things with the groomsmen. Sorry if that's too soon for you or if it doesn't work with your schedule, I'll pay you double I swear! I just really need this, need your help Jay."

VOICE MESSAGE #5 (11:38 PM):

"Um hi again, this'll be quick I promise. I just wanted you to know that if you can't do this it's okay! Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you.”

VOICE MESSAGE #6 (12:49 AM):

"Oh shit sorry this was an accidental dial. Have a good night haha! Sorry again!”

VOICE MESSAGE #7 (1:23 AM):

"Just give me a call back at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you do want to take the job and if not, no worries! I completely understand how last minute this may be. Have a good night Jay, sweet dreams."

— YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICE MESSAGE: TO LISTEN PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (3:45 PM):

"Hey Y/N, this is Jay. I got your messages...all seven of them. No worries, I'd be happy to play your boyfriend at your sisters wedding, and about your ex, don’t even worry about him, we'll make sure he regrets his decision to ever leave you. You said we leave next week? Just send me the plane ticket and I'll be on that flight. See you soon Y/N, and don't worry too much, you've got this."

“Woah! Hottie in aisle three am I right?!”

“What are you talking about Sunoo, stop staring at the people riding our planes. It’s a long way back to Korea they don’t need you ogling them for all ten hours.”

“Excuse me but did you not say you’re waiting for your rent-a-boyfriend? Babes I think that’s him.” Sunoo points his perfectly manicured finger towards aisle three where a man dressed in black slacks and a white button up sits comfortably flipping through a book. His head turns up as he feels your eyes on him and a smile flashes across his face.

“Alright, go meet your hunk and sit down, we’re taking off soon anyway.”

You begrudgingly take a seat in front of him, if you’d known he’d be this attractive you’d definitely not have hired him.

“Are you Y/N L/N? Or am I completely wrong and making a fool out of myself?”

His voice is sweet, soft and husky, you turn slightly to face him and meet his soft eyes. No judgement is seen on his face.

“Hi! Yes I am Y/N, I’m assuming you’re Jay? Well you probably are haha, because I got you the seat behind me…okay so anyways hello!”

He laughs softly and nods his head, “Get some rest Y/N, we have a long week ahead of us. When we land let’s go find you a dress and talk business, that okay with you?” Your nod of confirmation has you both relaxed as you turn back around to do just as he said.

“How does this one look?”

“I think you look great in it, remember you’re beautiful and you’ve got a lot going for you. He’s gonna regret ever breaking up with you.”

“Ugh I can’t do it, I need to look good so no one asks me any kinds of questions!”

“Y/N I think you’re overthinking this a bit, just go with whichever dress makes you feel the most beautiful.”

“I think you look the best in the red one, uh personally speaking.” Jay eyes the boy cleaning the other dressing rooms and nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hmm thanks kids, I’ll keep that in mind.” Pushing back in your eyes fall onto the hanging red dress.

“Alright so let’s talk business, we need a story. You’re the new temp at my job and we just started dating, let’s just say four months ago. You’re crazy about me and I asked you out because surprise surprise I’m also crazy about you too.”

He nods and gets up to leave the room but right as his hand reaches the doorknob you pull him back, closing the dressing room door.

“Here,” you shove an envelope into his hands, “count it. It’s six thousand even.”

Jay takes the envelope and begins putting it into his pocket but you insist he counts the money, he does so with an amused smile flashing across his face.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay for the expenses but if you ever want a piece of this,” he gestures to himself playfully, “we gotta talk money before anything happens.” Your scoff makes him chuckle, he’d only been kidding, he’d most definitely let you have him for free if you asked.

Jay takes in the venue of your sisters engagement party. It’s big enough to host more than fifty people, and it’s doing the job pretty well. He can tell you have a big family. From what you’d mentioned, your mom was Korean but moved to America for school and originally met your dad their but when he was out the picture she met your stepfather and the rest was history. Now your little sister, presumably the petite brunette eyeing you both now, was getting married to someone you’d both grown up with and his best man was you ex. Jay thinks your ex is a dumbass but he’s held his tongue on that thought knowing you’d probably get upset with him.

While he’d only known you for a few hours tops (not including your plane ride) he knew you were a kind person. You’d rambled to him about how you and your sister hadn’t spoke in two years yet here you were back at home to spend her wedding with her. He found it odd how you said yes to joining her bridal party activities but chose not to question you. He never understood sibling love much.

He watches as your sister runs towards you pulling you into a big hug, her smile never quite reaching her eyes but you’d never pick up on it if you weren’t paying close attention. He takes a note to ask you later why you two haven’t spoken in so long, but before he can gather his thoughts her voice breaks him out of it.

“So Y/N, who’s this? He’s cute…” her voice trails off and makes Jay internally cringe, it’s obvious she wants a reaction out of you.

He watches as you calmly turn towards him, resting an arm on his as you say, “This is Jay, he’s my boyfriend of four months. I decided I would take you up on that plus one offer!”

Momentarily your sisters eyes flash with what seems to be jealousy or maybe sadness, Jay can’t tell but he knows she looks anything but happy which is odd for someone about to marry the love of their life.

“Wow that’s great! How’d you two meet?”

“We met at work. I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen in my life so I told her. She asked me out right after and the rest is history.” He pulls you closer and pecks your temple once he’s done answering. He knows just how to push buttons, especially with people like your sister.

At that very moment Park Sunghoon, your childhood best friend and sisters fiancé walks over pulling Soohee into a sloppy kiss, Jay notes he seems tipsy and excited about something. He watches your sisters demeanor change in an instant the minute Sunghoon walks over.

“Woah Y/N it’s been too long, I’ve missed my best friend, you have to visit more often seriously.”

“Oh I’m Park Sunghoon, Soohee’s fiancé and Y/N’s friend, we haven’t met before but I’m happy to see Y/N has someone to put a smile on her face.” His smile is captivating and contagious. Sunghoon seems like a nice enough guy in Jay’s eyes.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jay leans over and offers a hand. “I’m Jay, Y/N’s boyfriend. She told me you invited me to join in on the groomsmen activities, thanks a lot I’m excited.”

“Of course! Any friend of hers is a friend of mine. Let me get your number and I’ll add you to the groupchat, we start soon so just be ready.” With the promise to text soon Sunghoon and Soohee are quickly whisked away leaving Jay with Y/N.

“Your sister seems…nice…”

Y/N can’t hide her laugh as she straightens her dress out, “Mhm love her to death but she can be a lot, now if you’ll excuse me I need to pee, I’ve had way too many drinks! Wait for me here.”

When exiting the bathroom you never thought you’d run into Lee Heeseung here of all places. It seemed as if lady luck was anywhere but on your side, as you watch him emerge from the door next to the same one you’d just came out of, his eyes grow wide as he spots you, quickly making his way towards you.

“Holy shit, Y/N! I was hoping I would see you here! You look beautiful as always.”

Your hearts beats as you look up towards him. It’d been almost a year since you’d last saw Lee Heeseung. He’d broken your heart in all of five minutes over the phone after spending a week in America with you. It was heart wrenching and soul crushing but you’d healed…or so you thought. Seeing Heeseung again was like ripping off a bandaid on a newly fresh wound. Heart begging to be held by him once more you knew immediately you had to find a way away from him and fast.

Thankfully just as you’d pulled away from his arms up ran your old friend Karina. She’d been someone you’d hung out with in high school and always called you up whenever you visited Seoul. Her squeals of excitement and hands pulling you into a hug helped with the longing to be next to Heeseung again. She looked towards him with hostility and popped the question right there in front of him.

“Y/N I’ve missed you so much! AH! Who’s the hottie you brought with you? Rumor has it he’s your new boyfriend…you tell me though, wanna hear it straight from the source herself.”

At this Heeseung’s head perks up from his previous gaze at the floor. He’s expecting to hear an answer, it’s obvious in the way his eyes stay on you.

“Oh. Um yeah. He’s actually my boyfriend. His name is Jay and we met at work. He’s the sweetest, you have to meet him! I’ll introduce you two soon.” Once again Karina’s squeals fill the air and Heeseung waves goodbye as she tugs you towards where Jay stands surrounded by your aunties. They seem to be enjoying the compliments he throws at them and you laugh quietly as you listen in on his conversations with them.

Jay watches as you stop to talk to someone by the doors of the bathroom, he contemplates walking over to you but decides to stop himself. He isn’t here to protect you, you can do that all on your own, he’s just here to provide some comfort in a stressful situation. His peaceful time of watching you is quickly interrupted when your aunties come over and preoccupy him. He’s done this before and is quick to play the best boyfriend he can be.

As soon as you walk over you’re pulled away by your aunties (much to his dismay) so Jay sets off to find something to keep himself busy. He soon spots the same man you were talking to earlier out on the balcony alone and decides to talk to him, he seems upset, might as well do something while you’re gone.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jay asks walking over swiftly to the man and smiling down at him.

“Oh. Uh. I guess it can’t get any worse than this. There’s this girl who I care about a lot,” he pauses to look back inside and Jay follows his gazes to where you sit with your sister and friend from before and his mind begins to turn, “I guess you could say I love her but of course with my luck, she’s here with some other guy.”

Jay lets out a low whistle and begins to talk but before he can process the situation you’re asking him if he’s okay and giving him a kiss on the lips, it leaves him dazed.

“Hey Y/N.” Heeseung says once quietly.

“Hey Y/N.” He repeats, this time louder than before.

Jay has a sudden realization as he looks back up at Heeseung, this is your ex, the same ex who broke your heart and the reason you hired him to be here.

“Oh hey Hee! Jay, this is Heeseung, he’s my ex.”

“Ah that’s why you looked a bit familiar.”

“What were you two talking about?”

“We were just-” Heeseung begins to talk but Jay cuts him off.

“I was telling him how we met.”

Heeseung nods frantically and stands tall again, he nervously grabs his cup and smiles, “I should head back inside, I’ll see you two later.”

“Did you see his face? Omg he looked so freaked out!”

“Mhm, and he told me he’s still head over heels in love with a girl he cares about a lot.”

Y/N’s bright smile bubbled up a feeling in Jay’s chest, but he shook it off as quickly as it came.

“Let’s get going pretty girl, I still need to meet your parents.”

Your house is huge, and yeah sure Jay is used to big houses, he grew up comfortably so houses around him were on the bigger side, but this house - your house is massive. He’s in awe as you stumble threw the front door hand in hand. A woman who looks just like you approaches speaking so quickly that Jay misses her question, but thankfully you’re quick to answer it.

“Hi mom. This is Jay,” a silent pause ensues after you reveal who he is to her.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Jay, sorry we don’t have a spare room for you. We weren’t exactly expecting you, Y/N has never really brought you up.” Jay can tell immediately who your sister takes after.

“No worries ma’am, I can just stay with Y/N.”

“Oh sorry my mom has this thing against boys sleeping with girl-”

Your mothers scoff cuts you off, her head shaking slowly, “Nonsense Y/N, you’re an adult. I know you two sleep together it’s normal, he’ll stay with you.”

You nod back at her wide eyed, and just as you’re about to speak a man pops up next to your mother, this time Jay does know who he is. Your lock-screen holds a picture of you two at a concert and you’d pointed out exactly who your stepfather was to him immediately. He waves a quick hello at Jay and pecks your temple, but he’s quick to whisks your mother away sending you a wink. Once you’ve made it to your room it’s almost midnight and both of you are exhausted from traveling and the party.

“Y/N, I’m gonna go ahead and shower, could you hand me my shampoo? I forgot to grab it and I’m already in.”

“Huh? Oh! Shampoo right…yeah of course I’ll get it right now.” Trudging over to Jay was easy, avoiding looking at the almost see-through shower curtain covering him was completely different. He smiles once you hand over the shampoo and goes back to humming along to a song stuck in his head.

“Hey Jay, what’s your story, like how did you get into rent-a-boyfriend?” You ask him taking a seat on the lid of the toilet.

“Well I’m an only child and my parents where always busy, grew up with very little friends and I was very protected at that. I like to think I was the weird kid who ate glue…anyways once I got my much needed glow up I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just started messing around. Clubbing, drinking, sex, all of that you know. Anyways my friend Jake found rent-a-boyfriend,” he steps out of the shower and stands directly in front of you, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, “and the rest is history.” He sends you a smirk before reaching for his phone sitting next to you on the counter, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest.

“Whatever, so what you just agreed to be a fake boyfriend like that?”

“Mhm, I trust Jake with my life he’s my best friend, dude would never sign me up for something that he knew I’d hate. Now come on it’s time for bed.”

The next day wedding activities start quickly, your sister has a day planned full for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Things ranging from kickball (which Jay seems to be very good at and just so happens to beat Heeseung’s team in) to separate bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Both parties go great, with both you and Jay enjoying yourselves equally, but if you’d asked the other you’d both say all you wanted to do was go back home and see each other. It was an odd realization knowing you’d feel better at home with Jay, a mere stranger in your eyes.

“Y/N! Ugh I’ve been looking all over for you! I missed you so much, you really suck for not visiting more. I know we’re half sisters but I love you!! I missed you so freaking much,” Soohee slurs her words into your ear as she pulls you into a suffocating hug. You nod uncomfortably and hug her back, patting her on the back as she signals the bartender for more drinks. Just from the way she stares at you, you know the night is going to be long.

On Jay’s end of things he’s forced to take home a very drunk Sunghoon, who now seems more like a friend then a stranger. Earlier he’d over heard Heeseung telling Sunghoon about how he didn’t trust him, and while normally Jay didn’t care much for how people saw him, Heeseung really irked him. Yet here he was now, helping his best friend stumble home after their night out.

“Don’t tell Heeseung I said this, but Y/N looks way more happy with you then she ever did with him. I mean don’t get me wrong he’s my best friend and I’d literally die for him but the way she smiles at you is so different from any way she’s ever looked at him. I heard you the other day, telling her she was strong and could face everyone again. I was standing next to the door you two were by, anyways yeah Heeseung would have never done that. I love that idiot to death but the second he decided to break things off with her was the second he lost a really great person. You’re lucky Jay, can you just please keep her happy?”

Jay nods at him and Sunghoon sends him a grin, he walks up the steps to his house and waves a final goodbye back to him. Sunghoon’s words play in Jay’s head like a turntable, were you really happy with him? Did he seriously make you happy? Giddiness spread through him as he made his way back to your home only a couple doors down, ready to see you for the night.

Walking back into your bedroom and seeing Jay laid out reading a book half naked was a sight you’d never get tired of. He looked up at you taking in your figure and smiled.

“How was your night pretty?” The low gruffness of his voice sent shivers down your spine as you walked closer, watching as he sat up to meet your eyes.

“Something on your mind?” He asks quietly taking your hands in his.

“I’m going to do something, and if you don’t want it just tell me no, okay?” Jay nods with curiosity in his eyes.

His eyes widen as you straddle his lap, kissing him softly. He wasn’t expecting that, but he’s not complaining, soon enough he’s kissing back and you’re both rushing to undress one another, Jay more than you.

The night ended far too quickly and as you wake up with a snug arm wrapped around you, the memories of last night come flooding back in. You’d had sex with Jay, your rented boyfriend for the week, but it seemed neither of you minded it much, both eager to be together last night. A smile forms across your face as you move to stand only to be stopped by his arm tightening around your waist.

You both stumble downstairs hand in hand, running into both your parents. Your father stares at you two and wishes you a good morning, but your mother seems to sense something is different with you both. She sets down her coffee mug and calls for your cook to make breakfast. Jay is quick to make you your morning tea. He remembers how much you hate coffee.

After the dance class your sister plans for both parties, you’re left walking around a park with Jay. He can sense something is off as you slip your hand away from his grasp.

“Y/N are you okay?”

“Do you regret last night?”

You both speak at the same time, laughing awkwardly as you gesture for one another to speak first.

“I don’t regret last night Y/N,” he pauses to grab your hand, “I actually enjoyed it very much.” His laugh fills the tension filled air between you two.

“Are you sure? I can seriously pay you if that’s what you want I mean-” a tug at your wrist stops you from finishing, Jay shakes his head at you.

“Y/N you’re a beautiful idiot,” he sighs pulling you closer, “I was joking about paying me, and if you must know I’ve never slept with a client, ever.”

“Then why did you sleep with me? Oh god did I take advantage of you in a drunken state? Oh my god Jay.”

“No you idiot, I did it because I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me, we’re two consenting adults who find one another attractive so we acted on it, that’s all.”

You nod at his words, still not fully agreeing with him but there wasn’t any other explanation, you were attracted to him so just as he said, you’d acted on it, that was all.

You two spend the day getting to know one another even more, Jay tells you his likes and dislikes, mother and fathers name, how he met Jake, and more. You spend hours talking before falling asleep cuddled up on your bed, tomorrow you both had to be up early for Soohee’s final days of wedding activities, starting with a nice family get together at your parents lake house.

What happens the next day is not something Jay ever wanted to deal with. As he watches you twirl around with your friends and run through the field chasing Sunghoon surrounding the lake behind your parents house, his insides churn at the thought of what he just witnessed. Not even an hour before Jay had actually gotten your fathers approval, he sat him down and they talked for an hour, he’d told Jay the story of his first time being introduced to you as his wife’s daughter and immediately knowing you’d be someone special in his life. He recounted how not a day went by where he didn’t worry about you alone in America but when you had showed up with him, Jay, on your arm his worries dwindled at the loving looks Jay sent your way.

This was not fun anymore, the angel and devil perched on his shoulders were fighting over what to do with the information he’d learned. Either he tell you and hurt you, or he could keep it to himself and just pretend he never knew a thing. The latter sounded perfect in his mind.

“And well sometimes we find the best thing for us and you know that’s not the best thing for others, so you have to do what’s best for you as a person you know and so that’s why we as humans always pick what’s best for us, we’re pretty selfish if you think about it really.”

Looking anywhere but Heeseung you’d spotted Jay, he smiled and waved you over, quickly bidding Heeseung and his odd dialogue a goodbye you’d ran straight towards an awaiting Jay.

“You seem to be very popular today Mr.Park. First my dad and just now my mom? Something tells me they like you.”

His chuckle sends butterflies through your stomach, “Yeah they said they’re excited to welcome me to the family, something about you having a terrible ex who wasted your time for four years? Your moms words, not mine.”

“She hates his guts, glad she likes you though.”

He smiles leaning in to peck your lips, “Yeah I’m glad she likes me too, kinda plan on staying for a bit.”

“Hey lovebirds, we’re taking pictures, come here!”

The next day, is the day before the wedding and it’s just as packed as all the other days but this time it’s filled with anxiety, Soohee and Sunghoon are buzzing with anxious excitement, your parents are terrified for tomorrow and everyone is sitting anxiously awaiting to give their toast.

Soohee wanted a closed family rehearsal dinner so they’d decided today would be the day to do it.

Jay sits next to you with his left hand rubbing your thigh, he listens as your mother recounts how you and Soohee fought over a boy when you were in both in grade school, she theorizes that’s why you two have a hard time getting along. Everyone laughs at the stories spewing from both your parents, the atmosphere is almost perfect. Perfect however, does not exist within this realm of people.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna go get more wine, don’t miss me too much.” You whisper to Jay standing and walking off towards the wine cellar.

A pair of footsteps catches your attention and when you turn around you spot Heeseung.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Heeseung, relax. It’s fine. I promise.”

“I just feel like I should tell you that, god this is so fucking hard.”

“Did you know, I actually brought Jay to make you jealous, to torture you for the week, but then I don’t know, something happened and now I’m just so freaking happy with him. He makes me so happy honestly, and if we’re being honest Hee, I am so tired of this, of me and you. I’m ready to move on for good so let’s just go back upstairs and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

The weight on your shoulders feels lifted, you’d been wanting to finally feel free from Heeseung for months now and finally you were able to do it. Finally you could be happy and be with-

“I slept with Soohee, Y/n. I slept with your sister and I think I’m in love with her. It was two years ago, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, that’s why I broke up with you, and then after we broke up we keep sleeping with each other for a few months. We stopped because of you, we knew it was wrong.”

“Can you please say something Y/N. Please just say anything please.” His pleas pierced your ears.

The wine cellar had begun to spin, the second he’d first told you, the room went dark and you couldn’t breathe properly. What the fuck just happened. Heeseung and Soohee slept together? He had cheated on you with your sister? He was in love with her.

Walking out the cellar Heeseung followed quickly behind, soon enough you’d made it back outside to the dinning area, Karina spotted you two and smiled wide but it soon dropped at your demeanor.

“Oh my god he told you didn’t he.”

“You knew?”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“You sound just like him.”

“I promise it’s not like that Y/N-“

“Y/N?” Soohee’s voice pierces through the air around you and you know she knows what’s happening.

“Y/N please listen to me,” she tries resting her hand on your shoulder but you push her off, “Y/N please don’t say anything to Sunghoon. Please, I’m begging you.”

Strong arms pull you into them and you’re quick to hug him back. Jay feels like a breath of fresh air in the seemingly smog filled venue.

“I can’t believe you told her!” Soohee shouts as Jay stills in your arms and your world crashes all over again.

Jay watches as you take a step away from him, pushing him towards the others who’d betrayed your trust. His heart aches at the look you send him, he knows he’s fucked up, he’s fucked up really bad.

He chases after you as you walk away from the venue, he needs to make things right.

After the talk with your dad, Jay realized he’d forgotten the sun hat you’d asked him to bring outside for you so he trudged back inside to grab it but loud arguing distracted him. Being the gentleman he was, Jake liked to call him that at least, he walked over to the room to see what was happening and standing before him he saw Soohee and Heeseung. The arguing continued as he stepped into view of them.

“I love you Soohee, I miss us, I miss you.”

“Heeseung no. I love Sunghoon, we slept together for a few months but that is all it ever was. I am getting married to Sunghoon, your best friend.”

“You don’t think I know that? It kills me to see you with him!”

Jay is left speechless, your ex Heeseung and your very own sister, had slept together. He had to get away from them both, now.

“Jay? How long have you been standing there.” Soohee’s voice broke him out his thoughts and when he looked back up Heeseung was gone.

“I don’t know what you heard but it’s in the past Jay, it’s not important anymore, please just stay out of it, it doesn’t involve you.” She pushes past him out the door he’s standing next to. Jay is left wondering what to do with the information he’s just been presented..

“You knew and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me Jay?”

“What did you want me to say? It’s harder than it seems Y/N.”

“You lied to me. But I guess I should have expected that since that’s what you do. That’s who you are Jay, you’re a liar.”

“Really Y/N? Should I remind you that you hired me. You hired me to be your boyfriend, you’re paying me.”

“You’re right. I paid six thousand dollars for a lie and in the end I’m the only one coming out a fucking fool.”

“Hate me all you want Y/N, but it’s time you get over this Heeseung thing, you’re dragging it out, maybe now though, once you move on from Heeseung, you can cry over our relationship long enough and let it ruin your next one too.”

“Y/N? I came to say thank you for not outing me to Sunghoon today. I’m going to tell him, I just don’t want to tell him the night before our wedding.”

“You’re smart Soohee, telling him after the wedding allows you to trap him, because you know the minute he finds out you fucked his best friend repeatedly behind his back he’ll want to leave, but he won’t be able to because he’s married to you.”

“Don’t worry Soohee, your wedding tomorrow will be perfect. I’ll smile for the camera and keep my mouth shut but after tomorrow I never want to see or speak to you again. I hope you have a happy marriage built on the lies you created. Sunghoon deserves better then you’ll ever be able to give him.” Soohee’s quiet sobs lessen as she leaves the room. Finally you had some peace.

The day of the wedding felt like a blur, you’d woken up early to get your hair and makeup done, smiling when needed and laughing at whatever the bridal party said. It felt like you were a shell of nothing in your own body. Soohee tossed glance after glance at you, looking away quickly when you’d catch her. She’d never been one to like when people were upset with her and you knew it was driving her crazy to not know what you were thinking. Truth be told at any moment you could call up Sunghoon and tell him the truth, but a voice of reason seemed to still be lingering in your mind and it made you hope she’d do the right thing, tell him before the wedding continued, yet so far it didn’t seem like she’d be doing that.

Everyone rushed around the wedding chapel to get things in order, photographers and other vendors Soohee had hired ran around finding their places to make sure the day went as planned but the nerves in her stomach just wouldn’t go away. The echo of your words rattled in her mind, would she really be trapping Sunghoon? She knew if it were her, she’d want an out. She cursed you in her head as she made the decision to do the right thing, he deserved to know at least. Hopefully he’d be able to forgive her, hopefully he still wanted her.

Jay thinks whatever god is looking down on him right now is probably laughing his ass off at his suffering. He knows he shouldn’t have snapped back at you, especially not with the state of mind you had been in. It fucking broke him to hear your sobs as he turned away from you. On top of all that, now he was just going to up and leave you. He’d bought a plane ticket back home last night after talking to Sunghoon. He didn’t spill any descriptive details, and had told him a less intense version of your fight. Sunghoon laughed in his face and told him he was just in love. Jay told him to fuck off and shut up.

As he drove down the roads of the rural Korean countryside, thoughts filled his mind. He brought the car to a stop and contemplated what to do. On one hand, he had a plane ticket and his suitcases packed to go back home right now but on the other, all he had to do was turn around, pray you’d forgive him, apologize, and admit that Sunghoon was right.

Pulling him from his thoughts was the man himself, speak of the devil and he shall appear apparently. Jay looked up to find Sunghoon chasing after a very scared looking Heeseung. Someone had finally told him then, that was good. He watched as Sunghoon tackled Heeseung and they rolled down a hill. Heeseung escaped and continued running, never looking back. Sunghoon on the other hand stopped to catch his breath, catching sight of Jay in his car. He waved him down and hopped into the seat next to him.

“I love Soohee, I really do. I’m going to forgive her, she said they slept together before we officially got together and it stopped once I asked her out. I just wanted to beat his ass because he hurt Y/N.”

Jay nodded as Sunghoon rambled on about how insane Heeseung was for ever doing what he did to you. He blamed them both but he could only poor his anger out on Heeseung right now.

“Do you think I’m crazy for taking her back? For still wanting to marry her?”

“No, you love her, anyone can see. I think she’s obviously sorry, she could have not told you and just made you marry her but she gave you a choice and came clean. When you love someone you have that kind of courage, and you let others dictate your life for you even if one of the outcomes could ruin you forever.” As Jay spoke aloud to Sunghoon reality set in, he needed to go back to you, to apologize for his mistakes, to show you he loved you and accepted you and anything you decided he was worthy of having.

“Looks like we’ve got a wedding to go back to then, and I’m out a best man so what do ya say?”

Jay smiled and nodded at Sunghoon.

“Hell yeah man, let’s go.”

Seeing you again felt surreal, it made Jay’s heart beat a million times per minute. You looked gorgeous in the bridesmaids dress Soohee had picked for you, your hair beautifully styled to perfectly match you. Jay had never felt this happy, he’d never felt so excited to do something.

As Sunghoon had ran past you, Jay jogged up to you, pulling you into a kiss, he’d been wanting to kiss you again for so long, he melted within the first second of it.

“God Y/N, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am, I love you and I should have told you about Heeseung and Soohee, I just couldn’t bring myself to break your heart. I never want to be the one to hurt you, I love you so damn much, I’d rather give you up then hurt you. I know it hasn’t been long but I feel like we’ve known each other for years. I want to take you on a date, a real one, and I want to be your boyfriend, your real boyfriend, not one you rented for a week, and I need you to know that I’ll take anything you want to give me, I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, you didn’t ruin anything. Hell I’m the one ruining things. I just need you to know I care about you.”

“I realized today that I could never do what I did without you this past week. You are quite literally the best fake boyfriend anyone could ask for. I want to have you to myself Jay, don’t want to share you with anyone else, I’m done sharing. I want you to be mine, but really mine, not for a week, for a lifetime.”

“Glad we’re on the same page beautiful. We can talk more when we have the time but right now we have to head inside, I’m sorta the best man.”

Epilogue

Jay has you pressed against his kitchen counter attacking your neck when banging on his apartment door brings you both out of the lovestruck trance you’re currently in.

“Open up you fucker!”

Jay rolls his eyes at the voice clearly recognizing it immediately, but as he goes to open the door it flies open, hitting the back wall.

“Why’d you quit rent-a-boyfriend? Bro you were literally number one! I know I said I wanted to steal it from you but I didn’t mean that way idiot.”

“You can ask her why I deleted it.” He replies, pointing towards your direction.

Now standing and properly dressed, you wave at the man before you, he seems just as confused as you are.

“Pretty girl, this is my best friend Jake, and Jake this is my girlfriend Y/N.” A smile spreads across Jake’s face and he’s quick to pull you into a hug.

“Oh dude! You should have just said that! I see why now, what a dog! She’s way to pretty for you by the way.”

“Thanks Jake, I know I am but he’s a good kisser so I keep him around.”

“I like her already! Wanna go get some lunch? On me of course to celebrate you finding a girl who actually likes you and isn’t paying you to date her.”

“Deal, but just so you know, I did pay him to date me. Not anymore though.”

Jake’s mouth hangs open as you walk past him to grab your shoes, he’s astonished that someone as gorgeous as you needed to pay for a date. Jay sends him a look and promises to explain at lunch as he chases after you.

Jake would never admit it out loud but he’s happy Jay’s finally found someone to make him happy and the smile on your faces just shows him how right you are for one another.

Three years later he’s proven right as he opens up the envelope addressed to him. It’s an invitation that reads –

“You are happily invited to the wedding of Jay Park and Y/N L/N on the 31st of October, at three o’clock. Please join them for this amazing celebration!”

coco’s love note: ahhh and that’s a wrap on the wedding date! I really hope you all enjoyed it, honestly it was really fun to write especially coming up with things to fit the characters I chose for this fic in specific :) it was hard making heeseung the bad ex but he was the perfect fit 😭 and i love jay being the ml like he’s perfect for rom-coms!! anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic and as always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3

[margoisthemoon2]

Hate // Miguel O’Hara x Spiderpunk x reader smut w/ plot

Word count: Idk I wasn’t keeping track but this is very long.

Warning. Smut. Fingering. Eating out. Rough. PIV sex. Porn w/ plot. Unprotected sex.

Note: OC is 20-22. Miguel is in his 30s. Hobie is 19-21. This story takes place before ATSV. Contains a bit of spoilers. If you haven’t watched the movie then idk what to say, just don’t get mad at me lol. Ummm I haven’t wrote smut in a while so bare with me plz. Also OC is black because i am and there needs to be more representation. Oc can look like whatever you want them to look like but i put height/weight in there already. Okay im sorry im done. Go read!!!!

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Let’s do this one last time.

Hey I’m spider woman or more so called Spider Riot. I’m 5’11, 130lbs. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for 4yrs I’ve been the one and only spider woman of New York on Earth 1214. A year ago I was pulled into the spider-verse. Invited by Jessica Drew and taught by her also. Lets get to the real story.

My best bud and rocker; Hobie Brown or as i call him, Hobs. We met a few months into me being in the verse. Our similar style and life made us super close super fast and we have been inseparable since. “Hey hobs have you seen my guitar pic?” I asked. We was getting ready to rehearse a song and I was desperately looking for my red and black pik i had just a few minutes ago. “Why are you asking me its your stuff” Hobie says lazily strumming on his guitar. I look at him with an annoyed expression. “Wow your really no help you know that?” I say reaching under a couch digging around for my stuff “good” He says reaching behind him “is this it lad” he says holding up my exact pic “ah yes!! Thanks hobs” i say reaching for it and him pulling his hand farther away from my reach. “Gotta give me a kiss first” he says with a smirk on his face “Hardy har har give it hobs” i says snatching it from his hands “i just wanted to know if you would actually do it” he says walking to the back of our rehearsal room. I know that he likes me but I just don’t feel the same. He is a great guy and all but i have my eyes set on someone else… Miguel O’Hara. Miguels was a authoritative 6’7 man who i couldn’t help but fall for.

After rehearsal I, Hobie and a few other bandmates was hanging out in the living area chatting. It was getting late. I do a big yawn and stands up “looks like it’s my time to bounce guys” i say heading towards the door “ill come with you to make sure you get home safely” hobie goes and we both head out the door into the cool night air. We walk into an alleyway and i get out my watch and type in my destination, a portal opens up lighting up the area. “Same time tomorrow?” Hobie goes leaning against a wall “you betcha” i say stepping a foot into the portal. “Actually i need you both at HQ” a hologram of jess pops up behind hobie. “Its late and people have jobs” hobie goes turning around “and those people are not you or her” jess says looking over at me “Get over here asap its important” and with that Jessica’s hologram goes away and i sign “well I guess we have other plans” i go typing in Nueva York destination and Me and Hobie step in disappearing. We arrive at HQ and i immediately goes to throw up into the nearest trashcan. “I will always say this. I. Hate. Portal. Traveling.” I say a sick look on my face. “Well you go to and from my place all the time” hobie goes shoving me a but with his elbow, “yeah because I actually like you and your fun” i go poking his nose the sick feeling leaving my body as we arrive to Miguels ‘office’. We wait what seems like an eternity for miguel platform to lower to us. “By the gods i hate this” I whisper to hobie “I can hear you” Miguel goes as soon as his platform stops. He turns towards us. “How many times do I have to warn you both to cut it out with the constant traveling between earths” He says “In the past 6mths you both have totaled over 12,000 travels. Hobie more than Moxie” Miguel goes pinching the bridge of his nose and putting a hand on his hip. “Where are you going so much hobs” I jokingly say, hobie side eyed me “don’t worry ’bout it” he goes and looks back at Miguel. We watch as Miguel blabbers on about being a superhero and being more responsible. “You are dismissed” Miguel says we both turn around to walk away “Except for you Moxie” He says running a hand over his face. Hobie winks at me and walks away with jess. “What did i do now your highness?” I go rolling my eyes. When i focus back in miguel is standing in front if me. Close enough to reach up and touch. I look up making eye contact with him and feeling smaller than ever under his large frame. “Do you know that hobie is mainly going to your earth?” He says, i talk a gulp of air “No I didn’t. Why are you bringing it up?” I ask taking a step back, miguel puts both hands on his hips “I think you should find out for yourself. And please…please be safe Mox. You two might be friends but who knows what that kid is up to” Miguel goes pointing out into the distance. “Yeah…yeah ill keep an eye out. Thanks” i say feeling a small tingling in my cheeks. I turn to leave, looking back and seeing Miguel walking back to his platform. “Miguel being worried for me…..strange” i think seeing Hobie sitting down and kicking up his feet. We wave at eachother and i do a small run over.

I wake up in a sweat. The dream i just had was so weird and strange. It was miguel and me in a relationship. Laughing. Happy. Drinking coffee. “I hate coffee” I whisper to myself and remembering the numbers i saw in that dream 199786. I slip on my spider suit. Black and red mask with long sleeve arm covers. Cropped red leather jack and half full black and red plaid skirt with thigh high combat boots. Jumping out of my open window and swinging to the rook of my building pulling out my hidden radio, listening to my next thing to do.

After fighting off a villain and rescuing a few kittens from too tall trees im finally free. But the numbers 199786 wont leave my mind. Out of curiosity i Type it into my watch and a portal opens up. Surprised I listen to my radio one more time….silence. I shut it off stepping into the portal and flying away. I land into a version of new york. But not my new york. It’s more minimal and cleaner. I’m on the rook of what would be my building in my earth. And look down and the person i don’t expect to see is… Miguel. I swing down. Hiding behind a car as i watch him enter a corner coffee shop. I look up at the business name Ceces Coffee Cafe. This place closed in my world tears ago. I continued watching running to hid behind a neatly trimmed bush looking through the window at miguel or at least a version of him. This Miguel looks more happy with life and a gleam to his eyes. I watch as he orders a coffee the server face is hidden behind a hat and then they look up…. ME. The server is me. I’m working here and talking to Miguel. “Hey are you okay?” I hear a voice behind me and turn around to see a lady reaching to touch my shoulder. I jump back and swing away to a rooftop. Can’t believing my eyes. I open a portal back to my world. Taking another look back and see Miguel leaving the cafe with a big smile on his face and a coffee in his hand. I quickly exit and land back to my world. I cant tell anyone.

It’s been a few months and every 2-3 weeks I visit ‘myself’ at the shop. Seeing miguel come in and order the same coffee. Its the 4th time ive come to this earth and im sitting in the shop using a black mask and a hat to cover my face a features. Miguel enters and goes right up to ‘me’ and orders. But instead of walking to wait for his coffee he does something else.

“Hey so i know i come here alot and fet the same thing but… i was wondering if you would be interested in grabbing dinner with me sometime” Miguels goes rubbing the back of his neck nervously

The version of me does a small chuckle. “Actually I would like that”

My eyes widen as i watch them exchange numbers and Miguel grabs his coffee and leaves. I quickly gets up and leaves. Turning a corner into an alleyway and opening up a portal. My heart is beating fast and hard. I jump into the portal and land in my room on my bed. Doing a sequel of excitement. “Omg I can’t believe Im going on a date with Miguel o’hara. Well a version of me but STILL” i say to myself. “What are you losing your wits for?” I hear a familiar voice say in my doorway. I look up. Hobie. “Hobs when did you get here?” I say sitting up. “Don’t worry ‘bout it” he says and looks up “where ya go?” He questions leaning against the doorway. “Don’t worry about it” i shoot back at him. He rolls his eyes and walks away into the living room. I follow behind sitting on the couch and watch as he perch himself on my coffee table. “So I’ve been thinking. We work great together” he goes. “Yeah we work pretty good beating bad guys” i say laying down onto the rest of the couch “yea, we’d look even betta together” he says looking at me. I look around and back at him “look hobs. You’re a really good friend and all but im waiting for someone” i say leaning up on my elbows to look at him more. “And that someone will never be ready for you. Why wait when im right here for you now” he goes i sit up fully “it can’t happen hobie. Im sorry. We just do-“ i get cut off from Hobie rushing over and kissing me. The kiss was soft with a little urgency. The cold metal of his lip piercing causing me to shiver a bit. “What was that again?” Hobie goes. I look at him still processing everything. Hobie leans in kissing down my neck. I put a hand on his shoulder “no please let me show you how much i care” He goes and looks at me. We make eye contact and i nod my head. Hobie moves down to the floor. And gently spreads my legs as he plants kisses along my underwear through my skirt. I let out a small gasp when I feel his tongue pushing into my underwear and into my area. I watch as his head comes up and we stare into eachother eyes as he pulls off my underwear. He lowers back in and continues to kiss my area. Eventually he sticks his tongue in and uses a free hand to rub my clit. I gasp and let out a small moan. “Youre so wet” i do a small hum as he proceeds to lick and suck my area. His left hand that was previously on my thigh grabs a boob and massages it for a bit before it goes down and two fingers plunge into my softly. I let out another moan. “Yeah you like that right?” The sounds of his sucking and my wetness fills the room. I’m getting close snd his fingers picks up the pace a little faster. “There we go” he says and i arch my back and do a not so loud moan. He kisses between my legs and removes his fingers. Getting a paper towel to wipe them clean. I’m panting looking up at the ceiling. “What have i done?” I think to myself. I quickly put on my underwear and hobie is walking back to me. “What ya thi-“ he says before i cut him off “go” i say “what? I-“ he stutters “JUST GO HOBIE. Please. I need time to process this” i say almost shouting at him. I hear a shuffle before a portal opens behind and he’s gone. I curl up into a ball and cry silently. Things are going to be so different from now on. Slowly i drift into sleep. Somehow my tear stained cheeks comfort me a bit.

•••

“Hey. HEY WAKE UP!!” I shot up from my sleep jessica’s holographic voice yelling at me. “Yeah! Yeah! What is it?” I ask yawning and rubbing my eyes. Looking up at her. “Miguel wants you at HQ” she says crossing her arms. “Okay, okay just let me get ready and ill be out there” i say getting up “yeah yeah. Shuuutt up” she says before leaving.

I arrive at HQ doing my usual throwing up my insides and talking to a few spiders. Eventually I arrive. “You called miguel” i say kinda afraid of why im here “yeah. Jess leave the room and shit the door make sure noone comes in…or out” his eyes shoot me a glare. I gulp and watch jess leaves. Miguel stands and looks at me “how are your portal travels?” He says “umm good good. Haven’t really been going anywhere except for hobies place” i say playing with my hands “really. Because i see you’ve been going to a unusual PLACE!!” Miguel says and jump down from his platform. “Umm what you mean?” I say taking a step back “you know exactly what I mean” he says walking up me me “Haha funny joke. Nice one you got me!!” I say nervously stepping back until my back hits a object and Miguel towers over me “Dont play dumb and stupid with me. What is earth 199786? And how do you know about it” he says “i don’t know. I’ve only been there a few times” i say “i saw it in a dream and it stuck with me” i say trying to move away. Miguel uses him arms to trap me in on both sides, he leans in closer, whispering in my ear “I know all about your little secret moxie” he says “You do?” I go shaking a bit. Both in fear and arousal. “Yeah and I know what you want” he goes. I feel his hand grab my waist as he pulls me closer to me. He pulls his head away and looks down at me. I gulp “you do?” I ask again “yeah. This!” He goes before he kisses me. In shock i push him off me. We stare at eachother for -5 seconds before i throw myself onto him and we continue kissing. I run my hands through his hair and he gives a small chuckle. “I work very hard on my hair” he goes as i bite down on his lip a bit and go “well looks like you’re gonna have to work hard again” we continue kissing and he starts using his hands to make me grind on his clothed member. I reach down to remove my underwear and immediately i feel his hand in between my legs. His thick long finger plunging into me “Youre so wet” he goes and i moan a little louder as he sucks on my neck. He removes his fingers putting them on his mouth sucking on what’s left of me. He takes my shirt and rip it open “don’t worry ill get you a nee one” he says into my ear. His suit retracts and he is bare in front of me. He taps my thigh a couple of times signaling me to jump up. I obliged he uses one hand to hold me up and the other to position himself. “This is going to hurt a bit sweetheart” slowly he moves into me. I wince a little from how big he is. He starts off slow. My juices covering his length now allowing him to slip in easier and faster. I moan loudly and bite his shoulder “Yeah you like that right?” He goes i lean my head back and we kiss. He start picking up the pace hammering into me. The feeling of his balls hitting my butt turns me on even more. I feel us moving as he walks over to a table like area and lays me down on it. Taking one leg and putting it on his shoulder and using a hand to cup my breast. The bee position allowing him to go deeper and faster. I put a hand on his bicep to hold myslef in place “oh god miguel faster” i say “There we go” he says as he lowers my leg and put both arms by my shoulders to hold me in place as he ruthlessly pounds into me. Our skin slapping rapidly and echoing in the large room. “Oh fuck. Miguel. Im close” i moan. He lowers himself onto me and rest his head in the corner of my neck, panting loudly and letting out few groans to curses. “Fuck!! I want to cum in you” He says as he wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me up a bit. The new position causing us both to moan and he sloppily kisses me. “Please do. Please miguel” i say in the heat of the moment. He looks at me to thrust into me a few times before I felt the warm rish of his cum paint my walls. I orgasmed and my legs shake he thrust into me slowly as we both come down from the intense moment. He slips off and kisses my forehead. “Go and shower I’ll go get you a new shirt” He goes as his suit materializes back onto him.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

-The next day-

I happily skip into HQ to see miguel of course. Me and Hobie still haven’t talk but i plan to fix that. I see Miguel talking to jess and Ben and kiss him on the cheek. “Hey miggy” i say cheerfully He looks at me with cold eyes and back at jess and ben “excuse me for a moment” he gently shoves me out of earshot of the two “what the hell are you doing?” He asks “what you mean? Im just giving my future boyfriend a kiss” I giggle. He closes his eyes and sign’s before opening them again and looks at me. “Im not your future anything. We had a one night stand” he says looking away “what! No last night was very intimate. You made loved to me!” I go “No. i fucked you. I was stressed and you was there. Like i said i knew all about your visit to earth 199786. Those versions of ourselves dating. Well thats not going to happen between us okay, i filled your fantasy and you you helped me out” he says. He pats me on my shoulder before walking back to jess and ben. I felt the tears form and fall as I quickly typed in my home and left. Running to my room and into my bed crying into my pillow. “Im always here if you need me.” I hear behind me, i turn around, Hobie. “And im sorry for what i did. It was stupid and i wont ever do it again” he goes and sits on the edge of my bed. I sit up and hug him tight. “Im sorry for doing that to you hobs. You’re all I could ever ask for” i say He wraps his arms around me and I silently cry into his shirt, he says “Dont worry about it Big steppa. I could never hate you”

End.

Note: My thumb kinda hurts now. Anyways what you think? Should moxie stay with hobie or should she go back to Miguel who cant decide his feelings for anyone. Also did you pay attention to the smut details i did using the same words that hobie used with moxie and had Miguel also use them to get a different reaction from Moxie. Anyways. Dont steal. I only posted this fic on tumblr and nowhere else. I hope you enjoyed it. Rock on!

[txttletale]

Just finished reading serious weakness, it's really good! I only picked it up bc you posted about Insul being a good representation of a low empathy character, so thanks for the recommendation lol

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the book if you feel like sharing :)

i'm not sure if i can share all my 'thoughts on the book' in one coherent post. serious weakness is a book i really really adore on the word to word, scene to scene level. it feels like the literary equivalent of cruelty squad's unfinished textures and constant screen sway and horrible UI and clashing colours, like, every single word choice and image helps to sell a picture of a fundamentally broken, ruined, wretched world. it's really powerful on that level, it's profoundly and achingly apocalyptic before any of the actual apocalyptic stuff happens. porpentine understands violence and pain in a way i think a lot of writers don't, and i like that the book pulls no punches and is honest about what it is.

when i think about it keep coming back to cruelty squad, i think they're very similar in their relentless brutality and ink-black irony, they're very tied together in my head. serious weakness is i think a bit more three-dimensional in that you can excavate moments of warmth and beauty amid the hideous unworld, and they're even more warm and beautiful for what they're surrounded by. i actually love how often games come up in serious weakness, i love how the visual and gameplay tropes of game are invoked in a literary sense in a context you don't usually see them, i love how the whole novel is viscous and wet and sad. i like how it ultimately presents two broken people without judgement, just as facts of the world, a world already painted in such nasty nauseating brushstrokes.

also it is very funny to descripte insul as 'good representation' because i don't think he is in the, like, tumblr-typical use of the word. but i do find him a really convincingly drawn character and i really connected with some of the stuff he says. ummm. do i have anything else to say about the book. oh yeah its basically just 600 pagews of philosophical meditation on what it Means to Be A Faggot and i like that too.

[microposting]

briefly back on my fetish porn hating. i read a macro/micro piece from an author i actually really like where at the end the micros were rescued by. the military. and the military was like sorry guys that shrink potion was actually invented by us. a bunch of violent gangs just got their hands on it. yeah we weren't keeping track of it at all lol. yeah its been several years and we haven't informed the public yet. yeah at least a few dozen people are sex slaves somewhere out there in the world rn. because of us. oh what were we planning on doing with shrink potion? ummm nothing in particular. but we will be using it on the guy who shrunk you. as a punishment. we're the good guys btw.

[vividvivvy]

HER-Chase Atlantic

“Satoru! Come onnnn! You walk so incredibly slow!” The tall white haired man was being drug around multiple different stores by a young girl, maybe 19, that he had met just earlier that day at a small coffee shop. 

“You know you sure do zone out quite a bit Satoru.” She stopped rushing for a minute and looked back at Gojo. “You're such an airhead! It’s so cute!” Her pause was short lived though as she went back to pulling him into another over priced designer store. 

"Woah, shes high fashioned. Took me to the back room in Chanel so we could smash and, everything is Louis V and Louis V her casket”

Gojo was sitting across from her at a table, watching her eat her overpriced mall food. He had food of his own of course, but he hadn’t touched it since they had sat down. To caught up with the sweet thing across from him. 

“Oh Satoruuuu~ If you keep staring a hole through my head your foods gonna get all cold and grosssss~” she spoke playfully as she pointed her fork at him and laughed. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything quite as amazing as the way she looks when she laughs. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m going” He chucked along with her, finally picking up his fork to eat. “About time! I was starting to think you’d gone and fallen in love with me!” She laughed again, and Gojo gave a light snort along with her. 

“Well that would be no good would it?”

“But boy don’t go falling in love. You can’t stay with me. All you’ll ever have is one day with me.”

He watched her run around in the parking lot, it was sprinkling, the light rain slowly soaking her clothes but she didn’t have a care in the world, giggling and spinning in careless circles. 

“Satoru! Come dance with me!” 

His heart and brain stopped for a minute. Dance with her? He doesn’t know if he can handle that one. 

“I don’t know about that one? Dancing in a busy parking lot? Doesn’t sound like the safest bet” He smiled at her as she pouted and whined about how he was boring and that it was perfectly safe.

It wasn’t safe for his fast beating heart though.

“I’m getting feelings that I didn’t before. And all I wanna do is just stay with her. But I know all I have is one say with her”

“Oh wow, the time has really gotten ahead of us hasn’t It?” She nodded to the lit up radio of his expensive black car. His eyes followed down to the clock. “Already almost five o'clock. Damn” Gojo’s voice was followed by a sigh. 

“you ok big guy?” her voice came from the passenger seat, concern laced her tone. 

“All good princess”

"With no perception of time, its almost quarter-to-five”

“So, wanna hang out again sometime? I had a really good time with you today, felt like we spent ages together” He spoke hesitantly as they drove down the empty late night roads, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on her thigh.

Her voice replied just as hesitantly “Ummm…” she paused for a minute, before a sigh escaped her “I don’t think I really can if I’m being totally honest..” 

“Oh.” both of his hands were back on the wheel

“I could live forever in a day with her. I don’t wanna live it if it ain’t with her. I could go up to outer space with her. All I need is one more day with her”

The car was stopped outside of a large, expensive looking, modern style house. Her house.

“Listen Y/n I just, I did have a lot of fun today… I know you don’t wanna see me again but I honestly think…” 

She was staring at him, her eyes told him she knew what was coming and she didn’t want to hear it. 

“Goodnight princess”

“Night Satoru”

“Ooh, she’s always been running from love. ‘Cause daddy didn’t give her enough”

That night Gojo sent a text he never saw himself sending, especially not after just one day with a girl who was just out to spend his money.

“I think I fell in love with you today” 

Read 4:13 am

“All I need is one more day with her”

[shadowqnights]

hello there! i’m perpetually in awe of the scope of what you attempt w your mcd fics!!! i’m not sure if you’ve answered this already, but do you have any advice for writing Diaries fic? most writing advice is the same, but have you found anything particularly helpful to keep in mind when writing fanfic for MCD specifically???

hiii this has been sitting in my inbox for like a month and i could Not figure out how to answer this i am soo sorry. mostly because i get what you mean about most writing advice being the same and i've been struggling to think of how i would differentiate writing for mcd. sorry in advance since i know i yap a lot here and i'm not sure if this is specifically what you were looking for but ummm i'm just gonna list all of the things i keep in mind/like doing and if any of that resonates with you then its a win. i'm also really tired its like 2am but i felt like doing this Right Now for some reason.

[also i may be the wrong person to ask this because i'm a little bit insane and my mcd rewrite worldbuilding is about 10k in my notion now and i'm barely 1/4 of the way through so i don't really know when to Stop with my mcd scope HAHA. plus loverman alone being 500k. i tend to go all-in when it comes to the scope of my fics you mentioned haha so i'm wondering like. what specific parts of the scope you're interested in. if i answer this all wrong by all means please send another ask correcting me and i can try again!!!]

honestly i think my first thing does blend with generic writing advice I'M SORRYYYY. but truly it is just to read more. i was writing fantasy books before mcd fanfiction + i was reading a lot of fantasy books during my mcd fixation [yeah i know its lasted since 2016 shut up]. i really do think that reading and writing go hand in hand, whether fantasy novels or just browsing ao3, reading other people's work is an important part of my writing process. not only is reading a learning opportunity to get to know your own tastes and wants [and the things you might want to avoid in your own writing] but at least for me i get suuuper inspired reading other mcd fics. i may be picky with my tastes but also when i get inspired i get inspired HARD. too tired to link my fav mcd fics just pretend they're here and ask me later for them. when we're writing for mcd we already have to take a bunch of creative liberty and put the work in to fill in the gaps that minecraft can't offer, and the combination of mcd + fantasy world tends to have a lot of gaps. so reading more might give you some inspiration on how to fill those gaps.

-> by gaps, i personally like to think about things that couldn't be communicated as well in minecraft media but you now get to elaborate on in writing! your hands have this awesome gift of being able to fix the stuff you don't like about mcd and elaborate on the stuff you do like. you get to extend what mcd established in cool words and longer words! mcd fanfiction to me is a really [figuratively] sexy pitch of a show that you might struggle to otherwise recommend to someone in its original form, but trust me its good and the fic makes it sound good. so i guess this list is going to be things that i like to think about that make mcd sound good and appealing that flesh it out compared to writing something like mystreet. all of this depends on how far you are willing to stray from canon, whether you're diving into rewrite or just writing canon-adjacent fic, but in terms of fantasy worldbuilding to chuck into mcd, you can think about:

environment, how you would describe the landscape + even things as simple as weather patterns from region to region. get immersed in the world and use it to affect the characters. everyone's got different preferences when it comes to setting / environment description, and since i prefer character driven writing i do personally find it hard to talk about environment but that's definitely something that reading has helped. i'm also throwing generic worldbuilding in here ermmm fantasy novels love worldbuilding. you will love worldbuilding just like me [hypnotising you]. reading fantasy and getting immersed in Other worlds and taking note of the things you like about them might help you. we are going back to english class and we are going to figure out what the author is telling us here and maybe as a fellow author you like it and go hmmm i want to tell my readers something like that too. there are soooo many ways to get immersed into worldbuilding that like i would want to make an entire other post but errmmmm off the top of my head i like thinking about...

architecture! what does each town look like! whats its design and colour palette and how can you incorporate that into your descriptions [since colour will help you set a mood, establish time and just be a general vibe checker]. food! what are these guys eating in a fantasy world! and if you wanna go deeper every character is going to have a personal taste and even if that's not relevant for the fic you're writing right now the little things are still fun to think about because you can always bring it back around to character building. garroth's plain food tastes and total inability to cook for himself come from his upbringing in o'khasis vs laurance's love of food rich with spice and flavour because of joh's home cooking. dante spent a lot of time without a stable home and thus had to become opportunistic and abandon his previous pickiness. etc. etc. there are soo many ways to differentiate fantasy worldbuilding for a mcd fic to make it feel more well-rounded. also things like clothing choices, accessories/bags/inventory [think about if you could see every character's minecraft inventory - what are they carrying around?]. even just simply what the land looks like from place to place? what is the terrain? what minecraft biome are we in right now and how does that affect things like temperature/weather/appearance? is garroth ro'meave pissed because its hot as fuck climbing this mountain on the journey to find aph? you bet ur ass he is. make him suffer. umm you can also think about small-scale threats like minecraft monsters. you gotta have your small guys. highly recommend worldbuilding the nether too because like. the shadow knights are so cool. ermm. ok sorry i talk too much on with more stuff.

weapons, you're in a fantasy world and you can throw in some variety in weaponry that goes beyond basic sword and also bow and arrow if ur vylad. and also giant broadsword if ur aaron. also a good way to get into characterisation from character to character: thinking about how they fight. what kind of weapon do they have? what's their fighting style? you don't Have to give everyone just a plain old sword if you don't really want to. i'm guilty of not doing enough research on swordfighting before i write fight scenes but i also do looove to make fight scenes messy. some of these characters are trained to fight in a certain way and i hate writing their fancy feet but also some characters will not automatically know how to fight and if they get into a scuffle it might be a bit of a panicked mess! i think (hope) that my writing style tends to help with the frenzied kind of brawls that some characters might get into and how when some characters are threatened they might just blindly kick and claw and struggle. and others might just freeze up and some fights might just involve blind punching and clawing and rolling around because [i like it] i like the idea that even in mcd not everyone is cool and collected when confronted with physical altercation. even trained characters might panic a little and get a little bit sloppy and messy with their technique. others might lock tf in. i promise sometimes i just make things up and also i encourage making shit up sometimes when it comes to stuff like that. because there will be a point where you drive yourself insane trying to research a certain fighting style and if its draining your joy and whimsy and passion for the thing you want to write then take a step back. for things like that you can spare yourself some pain. on the opposite end of the spectrum some things Will require putting in the appropriate effort to research and learn about before you write & put your listening learning ears on if you're approached and told that you've written something harmful.

time, time passes a lot faster in minecraft but in fics you can afford to write time going slower and use it to your advantage. i'm trying to think of examples ummm making travelling seem more exhausting, injuries healing realistically, even mentioning things like seasons and weather and time of day to show the passage of time as a tangible thing rather than the fic being a tiny little character-driven bubble. mcd has a lot of stuff to do with time, eg. the irene dimension skip, but you can also think about character ages and how time passes through each season. minecraft logic has babies grow up in like 5 episodes and speeds things up for the sake of plot but when you're writing you can afford to be more grounded. if you want to apply exact logic levin would be at least around 3+ by the time aph and the gang enter the irene dimension. characters feel way more relatable when you think about mcd taking place over years + the 15 year time skip, even if you don't write that Directly into a fic, its a helpful gap to fill. i like to mention certain events happening over a matter of weeks or months to keep the reader aware of the passage of time and also put certain things into perspective.

injuries, things are gonna hurt. a lot. these guys are fighting insane style with insane weapons. obviously this one isn't for everyone, but i personally do like battering the mcd characters around a lot more because they're fighting with big boy weapons and, if its your thing, a fic can turn a minecraft slapfight real serious and mature real quick. i like writing gore and angst and that's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but if its yours you can definitely think about injuries. put some research into how those injuries actually occur and how they work in the body + healing times! research how scars look and how they heal as well as long-term injuries. my mcd fics tend to play with body horror and gore and those help add to stuff like shadow knight freakiness and up the stakes when it comes to fight scenes and weapons because it feels like there is a real threat. that's an entirely personal thing for me because that looming major character death tag is Right There and i do kind of enjoy keeping up a constant state of fear. its good to feel like the world has stakes and consequences. and also i like making mcd bloody and a leetle bit darker which does kind of come into play with my worldbuilding so i thought id mention it.

ummm and finally speech/dialogue i think is the biggest one i keep in mind and its a big difference between my mcd and mys fics. i tend to write a lot more flowery (i don't know the right word) for mcd . mcd leans more into the fantasy genre and so i write mcd with a greater focus on world rather than character [i know i said that i prefer character writing before so just hear me out here]. when writing mcd i am far more aware of the greater world that surrounds the characters and even when its not explicitly mentioned i am Thinking about that worldbuilding. whereas when i write mystreet i am in a very character-driven hole and the greater world is not quite as on my mind. even canon mcd assists with this because the world is far more expansive and involves the divine warriors + mystreet doesn't incorporate that world until far later in the seasons and only really vaguely refers to irene as a swear rather than the distinct religious practices present in mcd. comparatively irene has a very constant presence throughout the mcd narrative from season 1 even when her lore was being retconned all over the place. beyond that Awareness of the expansive mcd world, i mention environment far more in mcd fics compared to mys fics. i set scenes way more slowly and take the time to ground the characters in the world and talk about the landscapes/weather/sky a lot oops and it really is because mcd has more of the natural world involved as well as very different architecture. i always like having the environment in mind when i write mcd. and dialogue i write very specifically far more old fashioned and lately i've been trying to make my mcd dialogue feel a lot more traditional. characters obviously are going to speak a lot formally and less casually than their mys counterparts, but i play that up for characters like garroth and zane [zane hasn't been back in a hot minute but when he is back this will come into effect] who don't tend to use contractions as much as ones like laur, for example. i've started drawing out their sentences a bit more, and i also tend to read dialogue aloud to myself a lot to sound it out, see how it feels. even in a fantasy world, realistically characters are going to have vocal quirks, going to stammer on certain words or stumble over their sentences sometimes. i find it adds a sort of realism to their speech to sound out dialogue to yourself to feel how it sounds to say. that's something relevant for mystreet too but still. [and you might have noticed already that my casual typing style tries to mimic where i would usually stumble my words irl or pause for breath or to think HAHA i'm trying to stop it to make my sentences clearer and far more readable since not everyone reads the way that i interpret my own speech into text].

ok sorry i talked so much its 2am here and im literally about to crash so if something in here doesn't make sense its definitely because i'm tired as fuck and about to pass out. that last paragraph was nonsensical im so aware but i hoped at least a little bit of this answered your question. just yell in my asks if i didn't fully answer the question or if you want me to elaborate on anything okay thank youuuu yippeee yipeyipye sorry for yapping bai

[stardustdiiving]

Got tagged by @/kanonavi! 20 fanfic writer questions thing

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

UMMM. I think around 13 probably. I anon or orphan a lot of old stuff

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

32.2k words…probably at least an extra 10k in orphaned stuff though

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Its been solely genshin since 2022. Usually something needs to be a primary tier fandom hyperfixation for me to even think about writing fanfic for it , and then even then I rarely finish more than 1-3 fics for it. Genshin broke this streak bc something shifted in my brain and I’ve finished around a dozen things for it somehow

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) source of inspiration (genshin — makoto, ei, wanderer character study) — 541 kudos

2) better days (genshin — zhongli & xiao erosion fic) — 254 kudos

3) Pattern Recognition (genshin — wanderer & Nahida sickfic) — 254 kudos

4) are you happy? (genshin — postcanon wanderer & nahida) — 142 kudos

5) marvel fic I wrote when I was 15 — 97 kudos

The 1st and 3rd most kudoed fics were actually the first genshin fic I wrote + the first and only bnha fic I wrote when I was 16 but they don’t count because they’re like my disowned children who I should probably orphan but don’t in case I want the option to delete them? I feel they were made before I really processed how to characterize the characters n what sector of fanon I wanted to contribute to, so they’re really like, generic fandom tropey to me and vastly different compared to how I usually write in a way I find kind of unbearable. I am really deliberate in my art n writing in trying to appeal to my own specific n niche fandom tastes so to help me find a similar crowd of people to hang out with and am usually pretty successful in nailing the niche. But for these fics it feels I not only didn’t try to target my own tastes I somehow managed to write something I feel only people who like the fanon I actively don’t vibe with would like ?!? I have no idea how that happened!

it would be if I somehow managed to write a hat radish fic that had “maternal Nahida and her edgy teen son Wanderer” written all over the characterization as if this is not fanon I actively dislike and a lot of how I write hat radish is often motivated by me trying to fulfill my own preferences because I find them in conflict with a lot of fic I read about them? JSDJDNDJ. Itd be like. Where did that come from. How was this written by me. Its one thing to not like my work but how do I have a finished thing I fundamentally disagree with on all grounds that make up my interest in why I may want to write fic about a certain thing in the first place. Disowned child moment

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YEAH always even if I’m slow too. This is an extension of my habit with my art I usually always respond to every comment on my work I get even if it just feels like me repeating thank you over and over bc i like to acknowledge people who r interested in what I’m doing as much as possible to convey I appreciate it. I think it’s always helped in building a sense of community/connection w ppl which is what I’m more interested in as opposed to quantity of interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk why this keeps happening but at least half my fics fall under “bittersweet” to “hurt no comfort” territory because I . Hmm. love character study that invokes complicated or ambiguous emotions. I think that’s the trend here

Id probably nominate someone to watch me die?. Its a xiaoven fic that was born out of me being interested portraying a xiaoven dynamic that felt at least somewhat believable characterization wise but pitched studying how venti & xiao’s deep rooted issues could clash with each other in a relationship in a way that’s rlly accidental and tragic when put with their feasible compatibility n care for each other. I have it on anon bc I have weirdly mixed feelings for it bc it feels like a xiaoven fic that probably appeals to any faction of xiao or venti fan who isn’t big on xv far more than a xv shipper

But idk how to advertise it as that bc it’s not like that audience would be in the xv tag?? and it’s specifically romantic xv so it categorically should be there. But it being in the tag feels weirdly hostile to me. I guess I feel it comes off as a fic that exists to be kinda contrarian and hostile to most ppls enjoyment of xiaoven but that wasn’t my intention :( it was made out of my own enjoyment of xiaoven….i just process romance weirdly and I think am more down with ship fic where the ship is kinda depressingly dysfunctional more than other ppl may be. I like the fic quite a bit but I just don’t feel it has a place to Go fandom environment wise

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I HAVE. no idea I feel like no fic I have up leaves off with emotions that are meant to be solely happy. The closest I get is bittersweet . Um. The scripted end of pattern recognition would take this spot but it like. Doesn’t exist yet (but it will…soon…..w)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HM. I don’t think I ever have. Probably in part I don’t write enough for it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Look at this shrimp 🦐

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I actually love fandom crossovers as indulgent thinking exercises but I usually never get indulgent enough to write fic about it. However I did write a 30k Steven universe gravity falls crossover where the GF characters were SU gems in 2 months when I was 12 and I have no idea how I did that but it was crazy. Thats still the longest thing I’ve written . It was so much

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated a fan comic of mine I made when I was 13 a few times but never a fanfic iirc

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Surprisingly no!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I do shipping in such a weird specific way. My go to answer for this is bakudeku bnha but I kind of lose all feeling for a hyperfixation after it ends most of the time so I don’t really…actively like it…sort of….but it’s also a vague ride or die thing to me…it’s complicated… the fandom environment for it is so unrecognizable to me since I was into bnha idk how to talk to people about it anymore particularly the new generation of fans. I don’t really like actively Ship them in a fandom way but fictional romantic relationships that r very influential to me are Pearlrose Steven universe and Anthy/Utena from rgu

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mainly just want to finish pattern recognition and I think I will. Ummm. Usually if I don’t finish something it’s bc I just lost interest in seeing it finished

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think people usually like my characterization especially in terms of like, exploring or pitching certain aspects/interpretations of a characterization . Like I feel people usually respond specifically with like “wow interesting characterization. Im adding that to my system of beliefs” this applies to both funny headcanons and more serious character portrayals.

I feel I’m also usually decent at atmosphere and invoking more visceral emotions when needed especially when the emotions in question are like. Mental Illness Monologues (tm) or jarring panic/fear/discomfort idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I. struggle. SO bad with like. Organizing how to execute all the thoughts I want conveyed in writing, especially the order of hie things should flow. If I want to hit on multiple traits of a characterization I’m doing for ex I have a hard time figuring out how to order it into a cohesive thing. This is kicking my ass with my oc comic story rn

I also have a hard time with subtlety & trusting my writing to speak for itself. I usually have very detailed thoughts on what I want to communicate and have to do a lot of shifting around to find a balance of feeling things are conveyed clearly enough to be caught onto and interpreted but not overexplained. Its not even a matter of feeling I need to dumb stuff down it feels more like me trying to write emotional analysis of writing I find interesting before doing the writing that would be Fun To Analyze. This is kind of the torture labyrinth when usually all I want to write is emotional subtlety and naunce

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk my usual rule is I don’t like when it feels forced. I feel I see it used with ship pet names a lot but as someone who doesn’t get the appeal of pet names conceptually it’s often almost a dealbreaker for me in fics if it feels forced in to be cute , and is not something I can realistically imagine character A doing for character B. Like it just wigs me out. I have no idea why I get such a strong reaction out of it

But I’m really on board when it feels like people pulling from their own experiences with being bilingual or sharing a similar background with the character. When it feels intuitive I rock it as fleshing out the character’s background and people really understanding the societal background and environment the characters exist in

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I have no idea actually omg. Especially in terms of what was first published

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Idk I don’t really enjoy my writing? Often when i finish a piece of writing I am usually satisfied I’ve executed an idea or communicated The Things but I’m not actively happy or proud of anything. Its like talking to me. I talk for myself and based off I want to say but overwhelmingly talking is for communicating with Other People so once it leaves my brain my experience with its existence ends and now it’s all about other people’s experience. This somehow does not apply to my visual artwork where part of the motivation to create it involves how my experience with it continues after its completion

Ummm. I guess my intuitive answer to the question is Pattern Recognition in the sense I feels it Conveys The Most I want to convey about a subject. But it’s also like the fic I cant stand to read the most and doing so is usually an ocd trigger too. Its complicated. I very much write for myself and my own interests and i never force myself to do so but having favorites or enjoying my work just feels incompatible with my brain somehow. And somehow this does not discourage me from writing at all

[phinamina]

INTRO POST!!

general info

—✩ my name is seraphina/sar/phina call me whichever idrc 😓😓

—✩ any prns (they/xem preferably) sapphic aroace, audhd, also i dont go by any like gender. unlabeled . ummm yeah

—✩ im an artist, been drawing traditionally since i was like 3 i dont . remember. digitally since 2019 💯

—✩ also i write fanfics sometimes and occasionally do moodboards + stimboards

—✩ prev username: kitkatperce

interests, what i post

—✩ my main interest rn is arcane, but it fluctuates!!!

—✩ also i sometimes post ocs do with that what you will.

—✩ no i will not post anything regarding my looks irl, where i live, my age, or anything personal. i wont even tell moots (though i will say i am a minor)

—✩ if i misspell something really bad (cuz i type fast i promise i know proper grammar 😭) and you cant understand it lmk and i can edit the post to be more. eligible

—✩ note; atm im currently more active on my tiktok. my tiktok is lower on this post <3

BASIC DNI CRITERA… DNI!! (obviously) JS DONT BE A JERK (and dont post nsfw)

—✩ also i do love the block button! most of my posts are heavily headcanoned though so if you dont like any of it dont follow

abt my art

—✩ not doing commissions or art trades atm.

—✩ i take requests from sum moots i guess?? idk.

—✩ do keep in mind if you do request smth and i agree to do it i will do what i want to do first THEN do it !!!

(I AM NOT TAKING REQUESTS FROM ANYONE RN!!!!)

—✩ also for the requests i wont draw ships i dont like and if you have a problem with me not liking a ship go ahead and hit thag block button

other

—✩ also i appreciate the comments, reblogs, and likes!!! i love reading whatever you guys say and will try to reply to the replies and stuff

—✩ i also try to update rhis post whenever im hyperfixated on something new.

—✩ ill prob edit this post a lot honestly just to make it look cuter i guess.

—✩ um another thing abt me is that i enjoy making pinterest boards i guess??

—✩ moots are free to dm<3

socials

—✩ tiktok: kuzaang

—✩ insta: actuallyaang

—✩ twt: kuzaangist

—✩ pinterest: putonthedealseal

other part 2

—✩ feel free to post my art but only with credits!!

—✩ im fine with using for pfps and banners, wallpapers, etc With Credit.

—✩ credit me domewbere whether that be through linking my blog or just adding the name of my url/insta/tiktok

—✩ asks are fun! ill try to answer them all

TAGS

—✩ #my art - its literally jusy my art👍

—✩ #kuzaang letters - based on the headcanon that kuzon and aang were penpals

—✩ #my fanfic - fics i made

—✩ #moodboard - moodboards i made!

—✩ #sarahcore - basically js reblogs of things that are so me

—✩ #🦈 - oc posting!

—✩ #🦈🍓🍒 - tag specifically for my oc yune

—✩ #🤗fav character: atla - its aang. though i always manage to forget putting this tag so its not on every aang post👍

—✩ #me and isa - me and @/meeyow4419

—✩ #my peanuts - byler

—✩ #my reeses pieces - willel (platonic only ofc)

—✩ #my peanut - will byers

—✩ #my buckaroos - kuzaang

board for art things !!! also heres my discord server https://discord.gg/GnSpDmkSmZ

[hazbinhappy]

wawawawa hi! hope you are doing well!!!

i would like to request a matchup if it’s not too much trouble…

i’m biromantic and aspec and use she/her pronouns! i have adhd and autism so i tend to get super excited about things that interest me. im a huuuuuuuge nerd (especially about physics and computer science i could talk about them for hours)

im fairly introverted, but somehow also really friendly? i like listening to music and learning about new things - i also like reading books but i havent had a lot of time for that unfortunately.

as for demon form i would get totally fucked over and still be 5’2”. this is a thing that would happen to me as a person. but i’d also have bird wings which is sick as hell so its chill :3

anyways uh yeah. tysm i hope you have an awesome day/night/whatever ☺️☺️☺️

Your Matchup is....

Charlie!

It was a tad tough to choose but I think she'd be great!

you two would probably meet because Charlie decided to go exploring one day! you would probably be in a bookstore and Charlie thought that the hotel's library could use some new books!

since she had no clue what she was doing she asked the first person she saw and it happened to be you!

after a bit of chatting and helping her out she somehow convinced you to check out her rundown hotel. maybe not give redemption a try just yet, but definitely keep coming back to see her on occasions!

I think since Charlie gets excited about the hotel and redemption and her whole plan she'd love to just have conversations for hours about your guy's interests!

even if not possible she'd find a way for you to incorporate your interests into the exercises (hey the girl doesn't know what she's doing)

she wouldn't mind that you're introverted because you're still friendly and would be a great person to run the front desk and greet people once they arrive! (charlie is a bit much when you first meet her isn't she)

she thinks everyone's demon form is cool even though it's all she has known her entire life everyone is so unique! she'd play with your wings and help with them when it's grooming/molting time (she was rough the first time but she got better)

"I have a surprise that you're just going to love! Look!" Charlie pulled you along excitedly, though you didn't walk too many steps into the hotel? Suspicious.

"Ummm... what is it, Charlie?" You offer a small laugh as she still had her hands over your eyes.

"Oh!" She laughed nervously before taking off her hands, "Tada! A front desk!"

Now did you want a front desk? Not really. You didn't necessarily care too much for helping with the hotel, you were just there for Charlie, but this gets you closer to her.

She starts to ramble on about how much she loves seeing you and being around you and how this means you two can spend more time together and oh wait! Did she just mention that she convinced Alastor to reluctantly pull some strings (and limbs) to get the highest tech that isn't VoxTech!

A/N: i am doing great! these are just coming out slow cause i was busy cleaning today and i got distracted with youtube (failed as bg noise)

[sceneself]

oops

..last year i reblogged this (ask game) and was sent asks but dont wanna individually answer them and ping ppl so ill answer under a cut here!

prompts were 1, 5, 9, & 15. shortened the questions since this is late af anyway

favourite season? [1]

tbh i condense third life + last life into one season (due to having really enjoyed martyns character, feeling skizzs 'arc' in s2 is characterized better with s1 in mind) - if i have to pick one: last life. its kinda my thing that i am attached to last life

favourite build? [5]

(ummm, just gonna list the ones i remember most.) i have a soft spot for dogwarts from 3rd life, since it was kinda the heavy hand pivot-into rp i saw first. the "snow fort" from last life, most specifically the "office." (don't get me started why i care about that damn thing.) the "relation ship" from double life was cute. "bad boy manor" and the associated bridge in limited. ahhh, its been a while but that weird saw-gauntlet-trap-thing tango made too. gd its been long.

looking forward to see red? [9]

yeah, since i'm replying so late my answer is always either cleo or etho since they can get chaotic. or, well, mumbo whenever he's around.

anything i thought was overlooked? [15]

i always chew on when people compare a partnership or alliance to bad relationship. there's sth fun in toxic dynamics like that to me (lol) what comes to mind is def the few offhanded jokes in last life.. sth abt the vagueness is easier to explore than the more hammed up roleplay. a chance for edginess? yes ploz.

u'd think there'd be more posts abt it since a lot of fans love watching ppl be psychologically tortured in the block game... maybe that's more of a different smps habit - anyways!

jimmy, being asked if he's being mistreated:

jimmy: (barely audible) no. (regular volume:) no, no, no. that’s not that conversation. cleo: do you need another place to stay? jimmy: no, no! i’m happy where i am. cleo: are they mistreating you? jimmy: no! no, i promise! i just need sugarcane. that’s all i need.

ren, also in last life, being told he's not in a good relationship:

ren: i'm not sure what i've gotten myself into with the shadow queen. grian: hold on, hold on. that's kind-of good, right? because if she didn't immediately turn on you it means that she cares. [pause] ren: right. either that or she's more than happy to take my resources. not sure which one. etho: (laugh) is she using you, ren? you gotta get outta that relationship. ren, that's not a good relationship. ren, grian: (laugh)

and scene.

..jk

i definitely want to get back into the swing of watching more often bcuz after typing this out im realizing my life series knowledge is prettyyyy rusty.. on the other hand i can def tell what some of the aspects keeps me interested! if ur reading this and have pov suggestions based off any of this feel free to shoot me an ask abt it ^_^

[rotisseries]

so we're now on 6A finale. the episode opens with the canera walking us down the hallway where theo and the ghost riders were snd leading us towards the elevator. i think thr elevator broke down or something or thr poeer shut because the lights are flickering like crazy and it shows liam having to claw and force his way out of it. he stumbles into thr hall and also we can see that theres nothing there. no theo no ghost riders. completrly empty and quiet. idk how long its been. IIIIII WANT TO ITERATE THAT I THINK LIAM THINKS THEO'S BEEN TAKEN. HE WALKED DOWN THE HALL AND THEN REACHED THE END HE BACK TRACKED AND LOOKED BACK DOWN THE HALL WITH A SOLEMN FACE. and then gets distracted with some plot details. wouldnt it have been fucked up if liam remembered theo and he never came back. lemme stop. anyway basically, for simplicity, the town is becoming another stop on the ghost train. its morphing into a ghost town. some stuff. anyway liam figures out that they cant move between worlds but corey can abd he can take people with him and blah blah liam says the only way to save everyone is to divert the train , corey is the key , and then stiles ans scott are like ??? how exactly are you gonna do that? and liam is like "gonna sneak into the hunt🫡" and stiles goes ummm i think youre confused... anyway. liam starts RUNNING. dude is FAST HE STARTS BOOKING IT. "I'll BE BACK!!" he runs up the stairs to the school and hes on the balcony and sees a ghost riders horse from up top and then THE BLESSED MOMENT he starts to climb over the rail when a ghost rider pulls him back and chokes him but THEO SHOES UP THE THE RESCUE COVERED IN DIRT LEAVES AND SCRATCHES . LITERALLT HIS SHIRT IN TORN UP. he saves liam and liam scrambles away while theo deals with the ghost rider (putting it in a chokehold instead) liam goes "HEY YOU MADE IT OUT!" and theo goes "yeah barely. whats the plan?!" "uhhhhh steal the horse to get into the hunt" THEO GOES "Youre kidding right??? i went through all this to keep you from being taken" who swooned??? i swooned. anyway liam was getting concerned at the struggle theo was putting up but that's prob bc his attention was divided anyway he says "do you need a hand.??" and theo goes "im good" snaps the fucking ghost riders neck and yells at liam "Then go already! Go!" and liam jumps on a horse. 😭😭 theo finishes up with the ghost rider and walks over to the balcony railing to see liam going in circles with the horse. he yells down "do you know how to ride a horse??!" "not really!!" theo smiles at him. lovesick i believe.

this was not little. gn tho. and to everyone who reads these

I'm pretty sure the only other person actually reading these is gloomy maybe

[freshlyrage]

Ummm I made a mistake...

Okay yall I completely forgot to add an entire part of chpater 18 to my upload last night. It's now added but if you'd like to just read it alone it takes place just after Gina knocks on the door to Javi and Andrea's hotel room. Here is the full chapter

Sorry omg:

Javier briefly looks over his shoulder, realizing its a lost cause he couldn't see you this way. Gina stands in front of him, a hand running through her long black hair. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the office. Javier felt a sense of pride for his goofy coworker who managed to pull someone like Gina. Javier had drunkenly asked her out on a date during a break with Lorraine and she had called him a baby, letting him down easy. He was burned at the moment but he appreciates it now because he wouldn't be here with you. Instead he'd drag another woman along his pathetic loop of secretly pining for you. She flashes her ring to him, its a shiny thing. Felipe, that bastard, made a significantly larger amount than Javier yearly. 

“Honestly amazing, I heard that Felipe told you. ” She beams, retreating her hand to her side. Her eyes peering behind you. 

Javier smiles, “Yes, congrats. He's a lucky man.” Feeling watched and uncomfortable with talking to any other woman other than you. What's gotten into him? Cant even have a friendly conversation with a woman. It's silent for a moment, she gives him an awkwards thin lipped smile before her lips cracking into a bashful smile. His brows furrow, “What?”

“Okay I hate to be nosy–but Felipe told me you came here with someone and I just wanted to… I don't know… extend out an invitation?” She exhales and crosses her arms. Javi’s brow arches. 

“Invitation?” He knows he should tone it down, if you were next to him right now he is sure you would have pinched and murmured something about being nice. You don't know that everyone is used to his stern ways, viejo, they called him in the office. Next to his list of other names.

“Yes um,” She chuckles nervously, Javier is shocked you haven't walked over and slapped him for making the poor woman nervous. “The wives are getting drinks at the patio bar while you all have your meeting, so–well unless you wouldn't want her–” Javier quirks a brow again, “Sorry– I’m just inviting the girl for some drinks.”

“I'd love to.” You call, Javier turns watching you adjust your dress strap as you stalk towards them from the corner of the room. He couldn't help but smile at you padding over with a sweet smile, nothing short of innocence. As expected you pinch his bicep while you smile at Gina. “What time are you heading down?”

Gina’s smile widens at the sight of you too, “Oh wow, you're so beautiful. In an hour.” 

Javier Looks between the two of you, watching your face light up at the complement. He should tell you that more, you absolutely shine at the gesture. Your cheeks are pink and shiny, “Oh gosh–thank you, I mean so are you. We should shower.” You look at Javi. His dick twitches at the suggestion. 

His voice died with his croak of, “Of course.”

Gina giggled, “Yeah… I'll leave you to it.” She waves goodbye and exits. 

Javier looks down at you with absolute adoration while you keep  a pondering grin on your face. You keep an indolent smile while you walk back towards the bed. Javi follows, peeling off his shirt while you take off your dress again leaving nude. Your breasts littered with tiny red bruises, nipples still swollen and peaked. Padding over to luggage placed on the dresser by the porters, you bend over to unzip the thing. Giving him a full view of your puffy lips, glistening still from his own seed. If he didn't have places to be he’d bend you over full and eat you out like this until you collapsed. “She seems really sweet.” You let out a pleased murmur once you find your towel. Your smile deepening once you turn to catch Javier staring at you, on an ego trip of him enjoying the view, you brush your hair behind your shoulders to give him a better view of your chest. 

He was absolutely obsessed with you. 

“She is, you showering with me?” He unbuckles his pants again, matching your bare body. You blush at the sight of him naked, he’s half hard again at the concept of you still being shy around his naked body when you had him slapping his cock onto your tongue just an hour ago. 

Your eyes are steady on his length but you resist, “Yes, no funny business. I'd like to be able to walk downstairs later.” You leave a small pat on his back as you make your way to the bathroom.

He follows like a lost puppy, he was hard but every thing you did turned him on so he couldnt be upset with you not wanting to fuck just yet. “Yes ma'am.”

You step up into the shower, leaving the glass door open for him. The bathroom was oddly pretty, tan mosaic tile lining up the floor, lights dim. The sound of pattering water fogging the room as he sets down his towel next to yours. You let out a moan once the water hits you, “I'll give you a hand job if you give me a neck rub. Fuck that car ride did a number on me, so did you fucking me doggy!” You shout over the water. Javi shakes his head and steps in. 

The sight of you with your head back, dripping in water is better than any other thing his sinful eyes have ever laid eyes on. 

“Deal.”

[nonbinarygamzee]

what are your thoughts on gamkar (esp as it is presented in the comic) ?

ehehehehe. well. i like dem :]

ummm um to be like #thoughtful or whatever though i always struggle to put my investment to words because i simultaneously feel like a lot of what draws me to them feels self explanatory but Also every time i think that about hs i turn out to be wrong. that sounds so mean i just have autism and 0 frame of reference lol.

but anyways for me like ive basically been invested in gamzee and by extension gamkar from the beginning. at risk of being kind of nice for once i actually think homestuck did a pretty decent job wrt the introductions of the trolls in establishing the levels of importance and especially the dynamics at play through when we see them interacting, so it always felt Important that the conversation that established gamzee and karkat as good friends was so early on. in general i dont really think hs has many transitional spots that are not being used intentionally to create subconscious association between the subjects. so by extension theres the more obvious literal conversation we have between the two of them that both establishes them as close (at least in gamzees mind) and establishes a rift in that relationship, but theres also things like the conversation gamzee and terezi have about playing the game together, that while not about karkat explicitly, kind of centers him from both ends and is literally sandwiched between the introductions of these two, which to me sets up the assumptions that their dynamic is going to hole relevance, which we end up seeing later on. dare i say that gamzee/terezi conversation even kind of ends up being the earliest nod that both of these trolls are in some way vying for karkats attention. theres like plenty more of these moments of association but im not willing to go looking atm, get back to me. good way to read the comic in general though, imo.

and like so its pretty obvious from the start then that gamkar was always going to be something, right? their personalities are written in a way that both compliment and counter each other, and theres that interest then in murderstuck when it is flipped on its head but idk if you go here i think by now it is clear i dont really agree with all of that. my interest lies in the fact that gamzee is the type of person karkat resents because to him, as somebody who both has been denied entry into society and who desperately WANTS it, even to the point of internalizing and glorifying the very oppressive violence that keeps him an outsider, gamzee has Failed. shes an addict, shes stupid, shes toothless, and above all she is weird and wholly unrelatable and karkat is simply not in the position at that stage of his life to sympathize because he is still running on the assertion that the Right way to be a troll is to conform to the expectations of the empire (and prove himself as one of the Good Ones). so when gamzee has their breakdown and all of a sudden karkat is not only unable to shove all of the responsibility he insisted upon onto another person, or ignore the fact gamzee spent all of her time haunting the meteor asking Him for help..... he does it. sort of.

this is kind of the spot where i have the most trouble articulating my thoughts because i guess they are sort of contradictory. because i think the gamkar moirallegience was not only at that point in time important to the integrity of the plot, but has always been an important part of the story in terms of culminating the themes and messaging going on. and i do stand by that, i think on top of the fact we were ROBBED, to erase that without ever addressing any of it again in the retcon is like.... a major misunderstanding of the functionality of the moment in the first place! which like yeah yeah its homestuck we should be used to that. but UGH. it undermined so much of karkats character to retcon what imo was always his peak moment of personal empowerment. everyone talks about karkat as somebody who is deeply caring despite his exterior and like... i do think that is true. but the story simply is Worse from then on having stripped him of the pivitol moment that truly defined that trait as vital to him, and i think it frankly has no small part in why karkat feels like less than a character by the end. that said i dont really think it was a "good" relationship. just not for any of the reasons anyone ever seems to say. so many conversations i see wrt gamkar is people talking about loving it but not the "toxic way it went down in canon", or calling it like mutually abusive, or just in general making karkat out to be some kind of victim of his ex when like......... thats all kind of just completely made up? for starters not that i dont Get it and not that i think it means he was being entirely disingenuous, but from the very beginning karkats establishment of their quadrant was done in a way that centered the people around them, not gamzee. and i say not gamzee exclusively because i think aside from the obvious of keeping their friends safe, karkat was also centering himself; we know the Point of moirallegiance is to keep an unpredictable party "in check", and that is what he did, but i can both understand the functionality of the relationship marker in the context of the universe And understand that to be a means of subjugation of the trolls involved. and karkat, being both obsessed with romance and holding a deep feeling of inferiority, of COURSE would look at this as an opportunity to prove he can live up to that expectation of pacification. we get his side of the story when things fizzle out, gamzees religion apparently becoming such a frontal obsession she doesnt pay him any mind, but we dont get to hear anything from the party whos not only being mind controlled, but also has to approach this dynamic with the knowledge it wasnt for her and that karkat continued to covet terezi "in every quadrant" (LOL!!!!!) when he wasnt openly mocking them. and well i just think that is very interesting. karkat is in a powerful position, narratively, that gamzee is never ever granted, that gives him the benefit of the doubt from the audience that he is right and she is wrong, even though we know that hes like... literally always wrong!!! i am not about to start trusting him NOW!!!

um ok this god long sorry. basically i think they are extremely complimentary to one anothers stories and flaws; karkat desperately needs to see and understand people that vary from the expectations he has grown up chasing. he needs somebody who understands what it is like not to meet those expectations. he needs a reason to choose growth or else he fizzles into the disgusting excuse for a character we have of him by the end! gamzee by contrast needs to be seen by somebody who is both in the position to treat her like a person, who holds power in this narrative they are all trapped within to Grant her the choice of depth. where he needs a reason to grow she needs somebody willing to grow to meet her where she is! you cannot pull somebody from their abuse but you must be willing to understand their reasonings and have a hand at the ready for the day they choose to go! ive never understood the debates surrounding gamzees agency because we are shown explicitly the ways it is denied, and shown her awareness to the fact she is trapped, the fact she is a character and the narrative cannot be upheld without her roles; karkats ability to "help" her to me was never as much a question about whether he could literally get her out of that, but whether he could act as the lens through which people understand gamzees situation As one of coercion. they are utena anthy forever ok im done

[stephaniedola]

oldass ask meme that i have been answering at different periods over the course of 15ish years

feel free to ignore but im posting it so i can find it again later

1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it? I sure hope so by now.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? withnocrown–– I'm sure that's its actual last name, right?

3. Were you happy when you woke up today? I woke up a lil achey and queasy but then I rolled over and listened to a voice memo from my friend and his GF and they were cute and asking me over for dinner sometime so now I'm happy

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who? Ummm I think it was my friend Evan asking me if I could pick him up at the mall on the 26th, but I was going the wrong way

5. What are you excited for? New Year's Eve! And my birthday (the 1st) I guess but mostly NYE.

6. What were you doing yesterday? Errands + resting + recovering from earth shattering sex (12 year old me would be so shocked to read how far I've come)

7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you! My friend in aforementioned voice memo

8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth? Water.

9. Have a best friend? Yup, he's my platonic husband. He's also pretty much always been my answer to this question :3

10. Are you scared to fall in love? I have spent the last few years building up an immunity to love powder.

11. Do you think teenagers can be in love? Honestly, yes, but I feel like it's extreeeeemely unlikely that teen relationships actually last. But they do sometimes!

12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face? God, I can't even recall. How did I get through 3 different family Christmasses without wanting to punch anybody?

13. What time is it right this second? 05:09

14. What do you want right now? More tgirl dick

15. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My mommy <3

16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused? Single, aromantic, poly, and for the first time not at all confused. Also, let the record show my original answer to this question in 2010 was: "Taken! O_o Don't ask! :/"

17. When was the last time you cried? Uhhh within the last week I think? but idk when

18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? That's a fantastic question! Yes and no

19. Do you find it hard to trust others? Extremely

20. How fast does your mind change? To quote 12-year-old me, "Fast. :3"

21. I bet you miss somebody right now. Every day.

22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now? Yeah, I can.

23. Why do you think so many people cheat? Because love is cursed by monogamy

24. Tell me what's on your mind? Kinky t4t sex

25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months? NYE, my birthday, catching up with people in the new year, my senior year of university.

26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing? I'm gonna choose the asshole answer to this question which is, um, I'm intersex 🙄 but strictly speaking, yes, obviously I have

27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend? Yesterday

28. When is your next road trip? Honestly? Ideally within the month to Montreal. More realistically over the spring or summer (Bro I'm screaming I've also been reading along with my 2017 answers and I had written "No idea honestly. Hopefully soon-ish to Montreal." I have not changed at all)

29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to? Anything is a strong term.

30. How's your heart? Still beating.

31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important? Yes, but not any more. (Keeping this answer as long as I believe it)

32. Do you think somebody's in love with you? Oh, for sure, baby~!

33. What are you planning on doing after this? Getting ready to go to my cousin's surprise birthday party and then stay with family for a couple days.

34. Next time you will kiss someone? Nonzero chance it is on NYE.

35. Have you told anybody you loved them today? Yes <3 Always

36. Who do you not get along with? Really, only people who actively disrespect the people I love.

37. What does your 3rd recent text say? "ahh yeah how could i forget ov"

38. What are you wearing right now? Nothing, darling~

39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it? I imagine we would engage in similar sexual escapades to the last time we kissed

40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese? A couple weeks ago

41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now? Feminine: Meredith Masculine: Lewis Neuter: Avery

42. How did you feel when you woke up? "Queasy and achey"

43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? Nah, I'm popular

44. Do you crack your knuckles? It's one of the few joints I don't crack tbh.

45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight? YESTERDAY at midnight or TODAY at midnight? The answer to both is sleeping.

46. What are your LEGAL initials? All I shall say is that it spells the name of an animal.

47. Who's the first B in your contacts? Some dude in Florida named Bailey

48. When was the last time you laughed really hard? I think it must have been on the 22nd with my friend we had a lot of fun and were stoned as hell so

49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them? Been there, done that, and I would.

50. Explain your last awkward moment? I feel like I said something awkward to my cousin that I thought his current gf had said but it was actually his ex fsajgkhls

51. Are you afraid of the dark? More and more every year

52. Do you have good vision? Yea, particularly in the dark actually lol

53. Have you ever tripped someone? Yes and he sucked and it was hilarious and I regret nothing.

54. Have you ever slapped someone? Yea

55. Are you Irish? Like 50%

56. Do you use chap stick? Mmmhm

57. Do you have any scars? Soooo many. Newest one is growing on my finger.

58. Is there someone you will never forgive? Never? Surely not

59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with? God no they're insane

60. Name the last person to text you. Prinxë

61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you? I would barely even marry my husband aside from for legal maneuvering

62. Can you go in public looking like you do? I would get arrested so no

63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A? Yeah,,,, my hot TA last semester

64. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Da middle

65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day? Cry and be like why did I spend so much money on a wedding

66. Do you fall for people easily? P much on sight yea

67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days? Yeeeees

68. Do you miss the way things used to be? Of course. Who doesn't?

69. Song you're thinking of right now? Talk – Coldplay

70. Want someone back in your life? Yep. So bad. Soooososososo bad. If he texted me it would make my day in a heartbeat. I also want her back, but I'd like to think if she texted me I wouldn't respond.

71. Will tomorrow be better than today? It's n ew years eve baby I sure hope so

72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing? Beige flesh

73. Who was the first friend that you had? Lindsey

74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you? Yes I cannot decipher your neurotypical nonsense

75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status? There are, yeah, but it's a pretty damn select few

76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced? I have bipolar disorder

77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you? Everyone all the time

78. What do you wear when you sleep? Same thing I'm wearing right now

79. Are you obsessed with something right now? SEX

80. The first person you loved is? Terry

81. Something terrible happened with you? My stepdad died slowly of dementia, so

82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens? Again, the deranged sex

83. If you could wish something, what would it be? For more deranged sex. Ideally in Montreal.

84. Ever forced someone to do something? Like it's hard?

85. When you are alone, what do you think about? SEX

86. How was your first kiss? Romantic and sweet. We're still friends.

87. What's your favorite music genre? Alt rock, that'll never change

88. Are you going to tag people to do this? Me in the future