#umbrella scheme

[taiturner]

I’m sick of saying sorry, I’m sick of always having to explain. Couldn’t breathe underneath all the pressure, so pain, it became pleasure. 

@number5theboy & @meredithbeckham sent a number + the umbrella academy for an edit from 2022 spotify wrapped ◆ my turn by misterwives, featuring ALLISON HARGREEVES

[jhsharman]

"How to Make a Dizzy Blonde"

[ohlovxr]

was semi-enjoying season 4 until the whole lila and five for seven years thing and then the way the ending. like it made sense how it ended but it just left me feeling so empty bc i feel like so many of the characters never got like closure or whatever the word is for it. like it felt like things for their development went unfinished (SOME characters)

[apencilandpen]

left my heart down in the basement...

[pochapal]

so kanon also saw it, you say. huh. isn't that interesting.

[lavender-long-stories]

This is how it starts. @nikandrros is not the muse we wanted but the muse we needed :P

[astranauticus]

while ive got untranslatable cpop on the brain shoutout to on Naihe bridge by Ice Paper because its a fanastic song with a truly wild vibe but how in the world am i supposed to preserve that second verse where the whole joke is its comprised largely out of chengyu where the first characters count from 1-9. hello??

[qserasera]

thank u to everyone who had recced me cdramas, i started watching the legend of hao lan instead o w o

[limesapplejuice]

Hmmm. Almost like a parallel scene to Charlotte meeting the hatman. I mean the Umbrella Man. Anyways I wonder if this kid is supposed to be like one of the seven deadly sins, if I were to throw out a completely random guess anyways.... Visually Freya completely contrasts Charlotte, so they have to be connected to eachother in some way shape or form?

[chibigrimmreaper]

Gyeseong, my absolute darling: i know things are to get real bad for you and i don't want to rub it in. but would it have killed you to choose a better hiding spot for ur portrait?!?!?

[arklay]

did not just think about diana finding al just sitting on their bed holding their wedding photo in his hands after she brings him back, and he's just looking at it, visibly distressed, and the moment she touches his shoulder he starts crying and buries his face against her chest because he thinks he really ruined their relationship. good lord

[indulgentdaydream]

I added these two together. I hope you guys don’t mind! Since I added them together I’m also making this a two parter. My first one ever!!

Comparisons Pt.1

Jason Todd x Jealous!Insecure!Fem!Reader || Angst/Fluff || Word Count: 2,488

Part 2

Warnings: not proofread as of yet. Maybe will after i post who knows

After a six hour morning shift as a dishwasher, you were ready to head home.

It was the early afternoon, your shift having ended at 12. It was sunny. Warm, but not too hot. You were still in your work clothes, simple black pants and a black t shirt, your tote bag full of belongings over your shoulder. It was nice weather for the half hour walk you had back to your apartment. Better than the weather you’ve faired before.

Jason usually picked you up after your shifts, no matter where he was, as long as he wasn’t on patrol. He never wanted you to be seen in public near the Red Hood. He didn’t want you as a target.

“It’s bad enough I come straight here after patrol some nights.” He had said once.

“I’m just that irresistible, eh?” You had smiled.

He laughed, kissing your shoulder, “Damn right, baby.”

This day, though, you knew he was busy with a certain case he was working on. One he wouldn’t tell you about. He had been hard at work on it for the last few weeks, barely able to make much time for you. You didn’t mind. He tried as much as he could, even if it ended up being a five minute phone call, or a visit in the middle of night in between beaten-up thugs.

The sun hits your face and warms your skin in a comfortable way. Your headphones blocked out the Gotham noise, making the moment more enjoyable. Your favourite music instead of honking horns, sounds of engines, distant sirens, and people yelling.

You were stuck in your own world. You began thinking of asking Jason if he wanted to take you for a ride on his bike later. If he was free. You knew it’d be hard for him to say no. He loved taking you for rides. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know that.

You turn a corner, stuck in your head. Thinking about what you were going to do when you got home. You weren’t used to the morning shift.

You start your walk down the road, passing busy storefronts. Crystal shops. Pet stores. Mostly cafés and diners. You briefly considered working as a dishwasher at one of these places instead so you didn’t have to walk as far.

Maybe you and Jason could go to a diner tonight? That was a hopeful thought. There wouldn’t be time.

You’re walking past the third outdoor seating that takes up most of the sidewalk, small bistro tables hidden from the sun by large, white, beach-style umbrellas. Nearly identical to the two others you had passed, only different colour schemes.

You stare straight ahead, the extended seating narrowing the sidewalk and making it harder for people to walk around. You’re nearly halfway past the café when a hand reaches over breaching the shaded area and entering the sunlight to gently grasp onto your wrist.

You’re already twisting, ready to pull the mace Jason had bought you (though you more-so believe stolen from Batman himself, as you could see where he had scratched out the bat symbol on the canister) out of your tote bag and aim, when your eyes land on the owner of the arm, stretched across the thin barrier separating the seating from the sidewalk.

It’s Jason. His face hidden behind sunglasses, a small frown on his lips as he looks up at you from the shade. He waits for you to slip off your headphones before speaking.

“I was waving to you,” his thumb absentmindedly stroking the back of your hand. “You didn’t see?”

“Sorry,” You smile in relief at him, stepping closer to the barricade so as not to impede the flow of foot traffic. “I was more focused on getting around.”

There was someone sitting across from him. You didn’t think much of it at first. You saw red hair. That was regular with Jason, since he was always hanging around with Roy. Or Kory.

That’s who you thought it was. Roy. Nothing different at all. You turned to greet him, a smile ready on your face.

The second you clocked the pretty face, the waist-long, flowing, shiny red hair, your smile faltered.

Artemis gave you a sincere, friendly smile, her fingers swirling her straw in her cup.

Something churned in your stomach, “Hello.”

Jason’s grip on your wrist tightened slightly once, speaking up, “Why didn’t you call me to pick you up?”

You look back to him, “You said you were busy today.”

He frowns again. Technically, he had never said that. But it was true.

“Sit with us,” Artemis said, pointing behind her. “The entrance is there. We’re almost done anyways. Jason can drive you the rest of the way.”

You nodded, sending the best smile back to Artemis that you could muster in the moment.

As you approached, Jason reached towards the empty table behind him, flipping the chair and placing it at their own table, in between him and Artemis, facing where you had just been standing.

Something in the back of your mind noted how he didn’t even stand to do it, his face still pointed towards Artemis, his eyes concealed by his shades, hiding his expression. You sit down, placing your tote bag on the ground beside on, on your right, between you and Jason.

He picked it up and moved it onto the table without a word.

“This is my girlfriend,” Jason introduces you, his hands back on the table, folded in front of him. “This is Artemis. She’s helping me with my case.”

You nod, your mouth suddenly dry as she smiles at you again, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she smiles again, stretching out plump lips to present straight, shiny teeth.

Jason’s quick goes back to talking with her about whatever they had been talking about before you had walked past, wrapping things up.

You weren’t even capable of listening at this point.

You trusted Jason. You’d always trust Jason. This was for the case and nothing more. You knew that.

Jason had never really spoke about Artemis before. He had mentioned her once, in the early months of your relationship. You had done something. He had later asked you not to, saying he had a bad memory of it from his ex. He had never even mentioned her name. You knew he didn’t like talking about her.

However, you had been out with Jason and Roy at a bar once. Roy had briefly mentioned Jason’s ex, since she was included in the story. Jason had changed the topic fast after that. Then when he’d gotten up to use to washroom, you’d asked Roy to tell you more about her.

“Just what she looks like,” You reasoned. “So I can recognize her if need be.”

Roy hesitated in telling you, but he still did.

You trusted Jason. However, you were losing trust in Roy. He had never mentioned how gorgeous this woman is.

Her skin was smooth. Not a blemish or wrinkle in sight. You tried not to stare, but you couldn’t help it. Her hair was perfect. Her skin flawless. On further inspection you even realized she wasn’t wearing any makeup.

She wasn’t wearing any makeup and she looked that good?

Artemis lifted her coffee cup to her lips, nodding to something Jason was saying. Nothing you understood, anyways. Even if you were listening. You caught sight of her flexed arm as she finished off the drink. She was strong. Probably worked out nearly as much as Jason, but far more slim than he was. But in a good way.

She smiled again, wide, displaying her pearly whites. You ran a tongue over your own teeth, pursing your lips quietly in thought. Yours weren’t anywhere near that.

Your arms suddenly felt itchy as you looked over Artemis’ again. You looked down. You needed to take your eyes off of her. You were being stupid. Jason had broken up with her. Jason had picked you. He had been dating you for nearly a year and a half.

Your eyes drifted to your own arms, spots of acne along biceps. No definition in sight. Your under eye bags suddenly felt like they were on broadcast. Your face felt gritty, your hand coming up to absentmindedly scratch at the break out you had along your cheek. The frizz of your own hair visible in the corner of your eyes.

You looked back up, looking out at the busy street. Jason had chosen you. Jason loved you. Jason kissed you everyday and always made sure to tell you how much he loved you.

Except in the past few weeks while he had been busy with this case.

Had he been working with her this whole time?

You glanced back down as Jason placed his hand on your knee. He always did this when you guys were out. You look back up at him. He’s leaning on the table with her other arm, straight-faced, nodding along to something Artemis was saying. Even her voice is pretty. Her tone carrying a confidence you were failing to find in the moment.

You looked back down to your own legs, Jason’s thumb moving lightly back and forth over the side of your knee. He didn’t even know he was doing it. He never did.

You looked over to Artemis’ legs, hidden underneath a pair of jeans. Even then you could see how skinny hers were. Could see that her thighs weren’t spilling off the sides of the small metal bistro chair.

Soon enough, she was standing, beginning to say her goodbyes. You swallowed thickly. She was tall too. An amazon, you remember Roy mentioning. How could you forget.

The crop top she was wearing fit her nicely, showing off her toned stomach and even dipping down at the neckline to show some cleavage.

You looked away, your arms folding across your stomach, hiding your own torso.

She smiles at Jason. You quickly look to Jason and find him smiling, too. A genuine smile. One he had yet to give you while you’d been sitting here.

You’re his girlfriend, you remind yourself. He loves you.

She smiles at you and gives her farewell. You can only nod. You watch as she leaves.

God. She was nice, too. Nicer than you had wanted to be to her.

She walks in the direction you had come from. Her hair flowing behind her, an expensive-looking purse hanging from her shoulder. Most men walking past stop to turn and look at her. She ignored them all.

That never happened to you. In fact, Jason had been the first guy to ever even ask you out. You never understood why you were his choice. Not when he was able to pull women like that.

Jason pats your knee and pulls you out of your thoughts, “Want to get anything before we go?”

You can’t even face him. She’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. A fucking amazonian warrior.

You stare down at the table, catching sight of your own hands. Your nails worn from your shift at the restaurant, fingertips still wrinkled from the water.

Why the hell would he ever stay with you if she was still in his life?

“No.” You finally answer. “Thank you.”

He nodded, sighing as he fished out his wallet to pay for their coffees. He counts the bills and change, speaking with his head down, “How many times have I told you not to walk around with your headphones on?”

You lift your head to look at him, “What?”

He doesn’t look at you, his eyes still hidden by his shades. “Your headphones. You get so lost in your music you couldn’t even see me waving to get your attention.”

Your fingers curled around the edge of the table, “I was looking past you. I didn’t expect to see you—”

“I was calling your name, too. If your headphones were off then you could’ve heard me.” He tossed a twenty onto the table, leaning forward on his elbows to look at you. “Anyone could sneak up on you.”

You pursed your lips, your brows tightening at him.

Why did she get a smile and not me?

Jason gestured to your bag on the table, “Same with this. The hell you putting it on the floor for? You wouldn’t notice it was taken until far too late—”

“You don’t have to drive me,” you interrupted. “I’ll walk.”

Jason cocked his head slightly, looking genuinely curious, “Why? Car’s right over there—“

“I’ll walk.” You repeated. Firmly.

You needed the walk. You had to try and work the jealousy out of your mind before you got into it with Jason. You didn’t want to argue. Not now. Not in public.

Jason sighed, running a hand over his mouth, “Don’t be like that.” He started to stand, his keys jingling in his hand, “Come on.”

He reached to take your bag for you, a large brown envelope already in his hand. Whatever Artemis had given him.

You reached out and snatched it from his hand. You stood, throwing it over your shoulder. “I’ll walk.”

Jason stared at you for a moment, seemingly frozen in place.

He sighed through his nose, “What’s wrong?”

You took a deep breath trying to control your emotions. This was stupid. Jason had broken up with her for a reason. Had been dating you for the last year and a half for a reason.

Unfortunately, your mouth was working faster than your mind, “Don’t act like you didn’t start this.”

Jason pushed his shoulders back. He tried again, “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, frustrated.

“Fine,” he stuffed his free hand in his pocket. “Just don’t be wearing your headphones while walking around.“

You were tired. Your shift had been long. You were worked up from your mind running all the comparisons between you and Artemis. It was still running them, you suppose, as otherwise you wouldn’t have said, “I guess you wouldn’t have to worry about her all the time. She can handle herself.”

Jason’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his first shown emotion since that smile he’d given her, “Who?” Then they shot up almost just as quickly. “Artemis? Is that was this is about?”

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment at his realization. He’d figured you out.

His shoulders tensed, “Do you really not trust me?”

The way he had said it, his tone, has made it sound like the silliest thing in the world. Now it made you feel even stupider. Of course you trusted him.

You caught people staring in the corner of your vision. You ducked your head back down.

You gripped your tote bag at the straps over your shoulder and stormed off.

You heard Jason call your name as you passed by him again, on the other side of the barrier, headed back to your apartment.

Hope you guys enjoyed!! Pt 2 will be out later this week!!

Update!! Part 2 is here!!!

Part 2

[the-monkeies-girl]

Bitter Sweet. ( Five x Reader Oneshot. )

i have no explanation other than my babies are still alive and that season 4 never happened SEASON 4 NEVER HAPPENED---- Give me snarky, asshole, pragmatic five back before i die. Reblogs/likes/comments all appreciated, thank u.

Title: Bitter Sweet. Fandom: The Umbrella Academy. Pairing: Heavily Implied ! Five x Reader. Rating: T. ( Language, lol. ) Words: 1.2K+ Summary: ( Taking place in an AU after season 4, let me live in my fantasy that's what fanfics are FOR ). You knew how specific Five was about his coffee. You knew he would speak his mind regarding and it was too much fun to let go of.

════ ════ ════ ════ ════ ════ ════ ════ ════ ════ 

Four cubes. 

No, no… Five felt his mouth part in astonishment, crystal clear green eyes peering in languid judgment as your plucked another sugar cube from a pristine porcelain bowl and plopped it right into the white coffee cup that was placed in front of you. It sploshed happily, absorbing the coffee and sweetening the deal for you to enjoy, but that was never the point in the grand scheme. You were ardently aware of how irritating it was, one cube after another. The quantity itself was deliberate and you knew… How you were able to feel his stare hell-bending holes into your face. He was unable to see the liquid despite trying with a narrow gaze but he was willing to bargain much of what he owned that it was pale in color, not even teetering towards tan but more towards plain white.

 A grimace was noticed by Klaus who bargained a chuckle as he looked towards you, seated beside him with raised eyebrows of acute amusement, “You’re desecrating whatever coffee you had, I think Five is going to lunge across the table and take you by the neck---” “Five can shove it.” The innocence that rode against your face was evident as the Hargreeves man  across from you scoffed under his breath at the juxtaposed expression coupled with the aggressive nature of your words. “It’s my cup, not his. We can’t all drink it b---”

“Black like my soul, right?” Five rolled his eyes, shoulders drawing themselves in some minor defense and you were able to see the tightness of which he held himself from the tailored nature of his suit. Five was lanky and skinny, but that didn't seek to say that he was without defined muscles against his sweeping collarbones and it was evident in certain motions that left you reeling back from the hardened words that he responded with.

“Get some original insults, (Name). You’re becoming way too predictable. Boring even---” His voice was incredulous, sticking towards monotonous but still held irate interest in speaking to you, only detectable around the edges and it sang against your ears. 

Flirtatious only to you, aggressive and leaned with hatred to others. A game of cat and mouse, though at times, you were unsure of which one you were playing. “I was going to say bitter just like your personality, but you know me. Predictable.” Klaus held a defensive hand up, grasping at his own cup and pretending he was beckoned elsewhere to avoid the confrontation that was inevitable coming in the way that Five cleared his throat, a hand raising and tightening the bundle of fabric where his tie rested against his throat. 

He straightened it, you noticed with acute mirth, but there was no need to. It was already perfectly placed, part of the morning ritual you imagined he held close to his chest after spending so long cultivating it. Five was… A creature of habit, to many extents. Needless to say, it was one of those simple actions that you enjoyed seeing none-the-less, fingers twitching in a finite need to deshevel the pin-black tie to further push the boundary of where you and Five so often tightroped. No solace was given to either party as his knuckles rubbed against the underside of his sharpened jaw. There was hostility tangling in with notes of attractive coyness as he snapped at you, “You’re a goddamn monster, you know that? Fuck---” “I’m not the one getting angry over how someone else makes their coffee.” You bit back without reserve and another sickly smile placed towards the brunette as you finally picked up your spoon and allowed it to sink into the cup. It scraped -- Horrid, Five felt a shiver run down his spine at the vibrations he could feel against the oak table from your simple movement. Like nails against a chalkboard. 

“Can you even call that coffee?” Five spliced and looked down at his own mug, half-emptied and his saliva still coating and drying where he had last taken a drink against the curve. “Did ya even put any in there? Any beans? Any espresso?” “There’s some in here.” There was a justification with a faux pout which Five remarked as being feverishly unfair. You were good at playing expressions, he was good at playing words. “I think….” You mused and lifted your cup up to your mouth and kissed the rim. Five swallowed hard, his Adam’s Apple bobbing which was feasted upon by your eyes before you took a long sip. Control rested in your hands as you refused to let him look away from you. 

Five sneered, your eyes taking in the delectations of seeing his sharpened canines. “You’re going to lose all your teeth from all the shit you put in that. Creamer and then what? Five sugar cubes? Are you a horse? Want me to feed you them straight from my hand?” There was a rustling sound as Five leaned inwards, his suit jacket pulling up with the motion that was placed as he so graciously plucked a sugar cube from the bowl that had been nearly emptied by you and offered it in the palm of his hand. “C’mon, take it. Be a good little horse.” “”Ha-ha,” You laughed sarcastically, smacking his gesture away which sent the cube flying off to be cleaned up later. “I’ll bite your fingers clean off.” “Not if you don’t have any fucking teeth! I kind of hope you do lose them. Hell, take me to the dentist when you get them pulled, I’ll bring them home and make a necklace for you.”

“You DIY things, Five?” There was another laugh from you as you took a sip of your drink, “Never pegged you to be that crafty.” There was emphasis on the word ‘pegged’, Five catching hold of the implication which garnered you that shit-eating grin that was more than infamous at this point. “Just this once.” He smirked, giving you a dimpled smile of feigned innocence to rival the one you splayed for him earlier. Sitting up in his seat, it scooted against the floor below with a loud bellow and you watched with bated astonishment as he leaned against the table to bring his upper half closer to you. Face only inches apart now, you refused to relent eye contact with him and tried to desperately shove down the connotation that you were able to clearly smell the after-shave that he favored. Pinely in scent, you wanted to grasp at his chin and feel the stubble against your fingers but that wasn’t the point here. The point was to be the cat while Five was forced to be the mouse.

“Just for you, a nice necklace and some earrings. Bracelet, maybe? A matching set. You'd look like such a doll."

“I’ll wear the set to your funeral. Clutch them instead of my pearls as I sob, telling everyone what a wonderful ray of sunshine you were to be around before you so tragically died.”

“Is that a date?” 

Five huffed at you as you stood from your seat, his gawk watching the movement with hostility as you craned your body towards him and grasped the base of his tie. Enlightened with curiosity, the disgusting smile of attraction rose along his cheeks, quickly torn to shreds as you pulled the tie downwards, the knot coming undone without reserve. 

“With you six feet under? You bet your damn ass it is.”

[critterbitter]

SUBMAS MASTERPOST

Hello, my name is Crit (he/them.) Welcome to my SUBMAS art blog, @critterbitter! It is sfw, but please take care if you are a minor, as I’m Old. Thanks! To reach my main blog, please direct your attention to @proxycrit .

This is a masterpost of all the art and comics I’ve done for the funny train men so far. Feel free to browse and definitely feel free to comment!

(Here’s my kofi as well! If you wish to tip. If you want wips, here’s my patreon!)

All work can also be found under #myart.

Comics/Art List:

A SUBMAS spotify playlist-- Post Hisui Muppet Council

Emmet and eelektross— you and your dog get sent to feudal japan

Ingo and lady sneasler— you weigh like a bag of grapes

Emmet, meet volo

tynamo and emmet’s first meeting (they become friends instantly)

Litwick and ingo’s first meeting (they become enemies immediately)

Aftermath of training

The starters perform care on full grown men

Committing war crimes on both eel and man

Submas kids— the Snack that smiles back, litwick edition

Box shenanigans (caricatures of the children)

Emmet and litwick come to a deal

The difference in starter relationships boggles the mind

Good morning, litwick (good night, lady sneasler.)

Ingo fights his inner envy demons with the communication stick

Coat flapping

You are Beloved, Lampent. That’s all. 

A jackie at gear station

Tynamo evolution blues (this is funny)

The imposter syndrome sets in (it is no longer funny)

Library blues (elesa should be paid for carrying books)

Sassy night light

Happy eel dog

The joyful ordeal of evolution

Eelektrik boa (a gold standard!)

Lampent discovers discourse. This becomes everybody's problem.

Nimbasa trio walk and talk

Couch party (it's poll time!)

SUBMAS AU: Conventional Starters

Lampent is an umbrella, if you squint

Happy Holidays!

Eel-esa outfit (cause, you know, she dresses like an eel. Get it? Get it?)

Scheming

Master of manipulation.

They left Lampent in a Deino's Parking Lot

"These are our Exoskeletons, Elesa."

Chance meeting

Forbidden Lore Unlocked

Introducing Elesa, the New Kid from Sinnoh

Elesa and Blitzle

Outside the crowd

Volume Control

COLLAB: Forgiveness is Electric

Volume Control (Reprise)

Food Exchange

Electric starters

Homesick

Metaphorical and Literal Rat Children

Trouble starters

Snapshots: Route 3

Snapshots: Castelia City

Snapshots: Virbank Complex

Snapshots: Desert Resort

Snapshots: Route 8

Snapshots: Nimbasa City

Snapshots: Celestial Tower

Snapshots: Pinwheel Forest

Snapshots: Route 18

Snapshots: Anville Town

Snapshots: Undella Bay

Snapshots: Flocessy Ranch

Snapshots: Route 10

Snapshots: Driftveil City

Snapshots: Twist Mountain

Snapshots: Relic Passage

Snapshots: Route 6

Snapshots: Opelucid City

Snapshots: Chargestone Cave

Snapshots: Dream Yard

Snapshots: Route 1

Snapshots: Striaton City

Snapshots: Black City

WORLD BUILDING

Giratina and Arceus

[noneorother]

I went dumpster diving into the posters for Good Omens Season 2 and found a few pearls.

I found it odd that this season had SO MANY official posters. Hours and hours of work and real dollars from Amazon went into the production of these things. This one won a freakin Clio award. I know Neil confirmed he didn't have a lot of control of what went into these 21 (Or 22 depending on whether or not you count the umbrella piece that was made before season 2 shooting began. Personally I don't!) pieces, but I will leave no stone unturned, so here we go. I combed through every single season 2 poster I could find so you don't have to. Here's everything I've found so far:

1. The allegiances poster

After having watched season 2, knowing what we know now, this poster seems very much to me like a Game of Thrones style family at war image. We have a perfect mirror down the center, with Aziraphale/Angels/Nina&Maggie on Aziraphale's traditional left side, and Crowley with Beelzebub & Jim as reflections of Maggie/Nina, and Shax and Michael(?) as reflections of the three angels on the other side of the mirror. It seems unbalanced, unless you count the floating white head (conveniently watching in the background) as The Metatron...

Which means Michael is... not on the same side as Uriel and Saraqael? She's also grouped in with the Metatron and Shax, on the side of the demons. How very odd. Gabriel & Nina also have a mirror in that they've both turned their backs to the crowd. Gabriel is willing to go live with Beelzebub in hell, and shut down Michael's plan and the Metatron's scheming for a second Armageddon, so that literal turn towards Beez and away from everyone else makes sense to me. The Nina one however? Not so much from what we've seen. Why is she turning her back on the angels & demons? 2. The individual posters

Interestingly, the individual posters all line up pretty much exactly with the all the allegiances this season. You just have to look at the way the characters are slanted vs. how the backgrounds behind them are slanted. All 3 bookshop posters and all 3 street posters are slanting left, with their characters also slanting left. They are who they say they are, and they're on the same side.

Michael and Uriel have right slanting backgrounds, so odds are heaven is supposed to slant right. Uriel is following the rules and slanting right, but of all the characters on the posters, Michael is the only one really betraying the background slant, and is slanting left against her background. Something's up with Micahel. They're not on the same side as they claim to be. Saraqael is more mysterious, as the only one sitting straight, and the only angel to have a left slanting background. Shax seems to be slanting left with a left slanting background, which puts her in the same pose as Uriel, but mirrored. While Beelzebub is weirdly slanting right with a right slanting background, making them a bit of a traitor, like Michael. Shax, Saraqael and Michael have some explaining to do. Lastly, and I think mostly obviously, there's clearly a missing poster in the set. Why doesn't hell have a third green poster? Is it supposed to be the Metatron, and they didn't want to spoil the surprise? Furfur maybe? Why wouldn't poor old Furfur get a poster when he has more screen time than Uriel? I don't think this is very important other than it's funny : everyone single person is holding something in their right hand, except for Shax and Crowley, who are holding things in their left hands, and Muriel, who's holding fucking NOTHING. Poor baby Muriel lolsob. One thing I do think might be important is that there are 21 posters in total + 1 missing one. So maybe 22 posters for season 2? How appropriate. 3. The triple phone box

In both the Nina street poster and the group street poster, there's are a set of 3 red phone boxes down the street. We never see phone boxes in series 2. Seriously, not once. Every other detail in these ones is from Whickeber street footage: gumball machine, post box, newspapers, coffee sign, puddle, walking extras... The only thing out of place is those blasted phone boxes. As far as I can tell it's literally the only thing in all 21 posters that never appears in the show in some form, and this background plate is used for all the street posters, so the phone boxes are in quite a few of them.

4. Crowley is showing his good side, Aziraphale is always facing away from Crowley.

Crowley is always shown with his head tilted to his right this season, body tilted towards Aziraphale and always with long sideburns. Even in the illustrated poster his default is head to the right, sideburns long.

EXCEPT for this poster. This is the only time he's looking away from Aziraphale, and his snake tattoo is visible. And his sideburns are short. Either nobody noticed this or they refused to fix it. There's also the matter of Aziraphale facing his body away from Crowley in every single image except the allegiances poster, where they face each other. So cute.

5. The sneaky details posters

This one has: 1. Pride & Prejudice 2. Treasure Island 3. A tale of two cities 4. The Crow Road 5. Catch-22 9.

AND whatever the hell this photoshop artifact/invisible thing coming out of the scroll on Aziraphale's desk. I checked every version I could find of this poster and it's always there. It looks like someone tried to edit out something that was there and sort of got it mostly right. Which is completely ludicrous given the amazing amount of flawless photoshopping and collaging going on in this image. These are the magicians linking rings from the 1941 magic shop. Mystery solved!

This one has the yellow book on the bookstand, the record, and : 1. Only one clock hand on the grandfather clock, facing 6. 2. A feather duster on the floor (but weirdly it's grey not yellow). 3. The dark horse statue with Crowley's old sunglasses on it. 4. Aziraphale's bowtie ON THE FLOOR. What. Why. I can only conclude that in this poster either A) Aziraphale and Crowley have left these things behind (meaning no more bowtie for Aziraphale in season 3) B) They are currently not wearing these items somewhere else in the bookshop....

_____________________________________ I ran out of images. So the dome poster will have to be it's own post!

[ohmyitsfaith]

The sunshine and the grump / Part 2

Pairing: Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sudden visitors show up on a calm day and chaos ensues. Who are they and where did they come from? But most importantly why are they here? You, your husband and his family are ready to find some answers.

Warnings: fighting, Sparrow!Ben being sparrow!Ben

Word count: 3.3k

A/n: Hi everyone, I know, it's been a while. But here is something that should have been done sooner. The second part to The sunshine and the grump. Please forgive me for this, but in this part Viktor is refered to as "Vanya" and using she/her pronouns. This is solely for the reason that this story is from the reader's point of view and she doesn't know that he's Viktor. If there's an interest in a new part, then obviously I will incorporate him coming out as Viktor. Anyway, long a/n to the side, I hope you guys will enjoy it!

“Shit” broke out of the six people standing in front of you collectively.

Ben guided you behind him gently, sheltering you from the strangers.

“Ben?”

A soft sigh is all that could be heard from the guy wearing a cowboy hat. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears and you couldn’t even guess who he was and where he came from. You never saw him before and your husband wasn’t the type to make friends so easily. So why did this man know his name? Why did he look at him as if he saw a ghost?

“Is that really you?” the biggest guy walked forward, also looking distraught and his face twisted in confusion and grief.

“And who are those weirdos,” the walmart-batman guy yelled and you followed his line of sight, “on the balcony?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in slight anger, but before you could answer at all, Reginald spoke up.

“They are the Sparrows, my children.”

You felt, more than saw Ben standing up straighter and could only imagine the rest of the Hargreeves doing the same, up on the balcony.

“I’m sorry,” the small boy spoke up after the initial shock passed through his group. “What do you mean your children? That’s not possible, old man.”

“Of course it is!” Reginald exclaimed as your sibling-in-laws joined you downstairs. “I think I’d know, wouldn’t I?”

While most of the group looked at Reginald with untrusting gazes (which you could understand, he was your father-in-law and yet you didn’t trust the man fully), the cowboy hat guy was still looking at your husband with misty eyes.

“Everybody else can see Ben, right?” he asked, which made you even more confused. Why wouldn’t they be able to see your husband?

“Cute hat, Sundance” Ben said sarcastically, still keeping you behind him. You grabbed onto his arm lightly, to keep him grounded. But that’s exactly when the man noticed you and his eyes went even wider.

“Jennifer?” he asked louder, seemingly in shock and it prompted the rest of the group to look toward you, Ben’s arm curling around you protectively.

“Do not talk to my wife, asshole” he growled.

“Oh my gosh, it’s you! You- you guys are married!” cowboy hat guy gushed.

“Okay, that is it!” Ben moved to lash out against the guy, but Marcus stopped him.

“Enough” he said in his calming voice. “Who are you and why are you in our home?”

“They call themselves the Umbrella Academy,” Reginald answered instead. “A group of scheming, perfidious malcontents, who accosted me in the fall of 1963, when I was away on business in Dallas” he explained. “Be warned,“ he added, “they claim to be my spawn.”

That caught the attention of the woman with the very stylish cloak as she stepped forward.

“Claim?!” she then turned to her brother(?) in confusion. “Five, what the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know, but it’s concerning,” the little guy, Five, sighed.

“Is he telling the truth?” Marcus spoke up, looking at the so-called Umbrella Academy.

“Well, not the part about us being perfidious-” the other woman started, just to be immediately interrupted by the cowboy-hat guy.

“No, we’re amateur-fidious, at best” he said, which just confused you and, seemingly, the rest of the Sparrows as well.

“But we are his children. This is our house” the woman confirmed.

“Yeah, yeah, we, uh… We grew up here” the big guy jumped in.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, we grew up here” Alphonso mocked the guy, which made Fei and Jayme chuckle.

“I-” Sloane started. “Kinda think we would’ve noticed you.”

You could see the moment that the big guy realized who talked and just what kind of person she was. You saw his eyes light up and a dumb smile graced his features.

“Hi. I’m Luther” he stepped forward and offered his hand.

“Monkey-brain” you whispered and Ben scoffed.

“Okay” the stylish woman walked towards you. “None of you belong here.”

“What?” you asked at the same time Fei said sarcastically: “Oh, well then! I guess we’ll just pack our bags and move out.”

“Yeah and while we’re at it, how about we also give you our jobs. Clearly, you are so good at it” Christopher garbled. “Seriously, these idiots can’t even understand the fact that we are the ones living here, imagine what kind of heroes they are.”

This caused the Sparrows to laugh and even you let out a chuckle. He had a point.

“You slay me, Chris,” Ben shook his head.

The next moment Grace arrived with a plate filled with cookies. At her legs was your chonky cat C/n. He meowed lowly and hissed at the new people before darting across the space, toward Ben and you.

“I wasn’t expecting company,” Grace sighed as you leaned down to pick up C/n. “This is the best I could do on short-” she glitched and repeated the word again, “short… short notice.”

You winced as you stood up with C/n in your arms.

“It’s okay, darling boy” you whispered and started stroking his back. “They won’t hurt you. Daddy won’t let them.”

“Mom…” you heard wallmart-batman’s wistful voice, which immediately weirded you out.

And not just you, because Jayme spoke up as well.

“Mom? She’s a robot you perv” she scoffed.

“She’s not a robot!” wallmart-batman turned toward her defensively.

“Hey, don’t you call him that!” the big guy, Luther, snapped at Jayme.

“Or what?” Ben asked in defense of Jayme.

“Come closer and find out!” Luther stepped toward Ben as he started approaching the big guy as well.

“Luther! Guys, chill!” the smaller woman tried to stop Luther, while you reached out to stop Ben.

“Think I’m afraid?” Ben asked and you could feel his hostility roll off of him.

“Ben! Please” you asked him timidly, but your voice didn’t even reach him.

“Ben, stand down!” Marcus commanded, but Luther was speaking over him already and chaos started to form.

“Look at that, she’s got a voice!” he pointed at you.

“How about I hide that big Rubik’s Cube up your ass?” wallmart-batman asked, annoyed with Marcus.

“Enough!” Marcus finally shouted. “I don’t know what circus you escaped from,” Marcus started and you could see wallmart-batman touch his cheek, where something black just disappeared, “or how you got past our security, but we’re done here. You got 30 seconds to get out of our house” he said in a no-nonsense voice.

“And if we don’t?” the stylish woman asked just as you realized what was happening with wallmart-batman. You looked back at Jayme, who just shrugged.

“Then we’ll have to settle this the old-fashioned way” Marcus stepped forward, ever the leader.

You zeroed in on wallmart-batman, who looked totally out of it, sweat on his forehead and tears in his eyes.

“What did he hallucinate?” you whispered to Jayme.

“I’ll tell you later” she smirked.

“Look, we just fought a literal army. Okay?” the short woman tried to diffuse the situation. “This doesn’t need to get ugly. Let’s all just calm down and let’s talk.”

And honestly, you were on her side. You didn’t want to risk the house or your sibling-in-laws or C/n for that matter. This could definitely be…

“Psst. Ben-er-ino” cowboy hat guy sing-songed as he looked at your husband. You could see his shoulders tense even more and an exasperated sigh left him. “You look so much better alive than you do dead.”

Oh no…

“Am I right?” cowboy hat guy asked from the Umbrellas and the only thing you could do is wince. From this point onward you wished that he shut up because even you wouldn’t be able to stop your husband if he was angered by the guy. “Except the haircut” he waved his hands.

“Oh no” you winced as Alphonso reached out and pushed you even further from the Umbrellas to keep you safe. He knew just as well as any of the Sparrows: this is where it gets ugly.

“What the hell did you just say?” Ben stepped forward.

“Come on, come on!” cowboy hat guy walked toward Ben. “Stop with all the hostility, Mr. Grumpy Pants” he stopped in front of your husband and leaned forward. “Oh, nice scar! Muy macho.”

“Oof” you commented and you could hear Jayme scoff as well.

“Shut. Your. Mouth!” Ben snarled and you knew, only a string held his anger.

“You shut your mouth and hug your brother!” cowboy hat guy exclaimed and opened his arms for a hug. And that’s exactly when Ben struck.

It was truly a beautiful hook that Ben delivered, you had to admit. But you wished that cowboy hat would’ve just stopped before it got ugly. You watched as he fell across the coffee table and it caused Luther to snap at Ben.

“Hey! What the hell?” he snapped. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I did!” Ben snapped back.

“That’s right, he did!” Alphonso backed him up.

“Hey, get back! Back off!” Marcus shouted as Luther stepped closer.

“Luther!” you heard the short woman yell out as Jayme grabbed your arm and pulled you behind the counter, just as Marcus pushed Luther.

And all hell broke loose. Marcus and Luther started fighting and the Sparrows and Umbrellas paired up as well.

“Jayme, get Y/n out of here!” Ben yelled as the small Umbrella teleported toward him and started fighting with him.

You could hear yelling from both the Sparrows and the Umbrellas as they fought and you could only try to stay calm as Jayme pulled you toward the exit. But you didn’t get far as the stylish woman intercepted you and Jayme, along with the short woman. You ducked just in time as one of Fei’s ravens dived in to try and attack the stylish woman, who immediately took up the fight.

“Sloane!” Jayme yelled out and pushed you toward the woman. “Take care of her! I have a shorter problem.”

This, C/n didn’t like and he jumped out of your hands, scratching them in the process.

“Ouch!” you hissed, holding it.

“C’mon Y/n, let’s get you out of here!”

“Alright” you nodded, frantic now that the chaos started to get to you.

You could hear Jayme knock the short woman down as Sloane tried to lead you toward the stairs. But that’s exactly where Fei and the stylish lady were fighting.

“Uh… okay, plan B” Sloane stepped back and looked up at the balcony.

“Oh, please, no” you tried to plead with her. “You know I don’t…”

“Just get to your room, we’ll get you, when we’re done here” she promised and you felt her powers wrap you up and lift you toward the balcony.

You landed behind the railing and stood up. That’s when you heard the short woman say: “My turn.”

You could see her turning… white? And you knew you had to flee. Before much else could happen though, Sloane used her powers on her as well, though less gentler than she did on you.

“Shit!” you yelled out as the short woman slammed into the pictures behind you as you ducked, afraid.

But just as you stumbled through the short hallway to be able to turn right, a knife whizzed by you and you soon heard Chris’s garbled yelling.

“Y/n, be careful!”

You looked back and saw him getting chased by wallmart-batman. You quickly fell to the left, where you could turn down the corner. Just in time, because in the next moment, Chris also turned that way, knives shooting toward him. You held your head for a second, trying to gather all your courage to move. You’ve never been this close to a fight, Ben always made sure that you were in a safe distance.

“Okay, Y/n, you have to move” you told yourself, gripping your hair. You screwed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Then you stood up and sneaked toward the walkway.

But just as you reached the main staircase that led down, you bumped into the boy. Quite literally.

“Oh, you…” he narrowed his eyes.

“Please don’t hurt me” you put your arms up, in front of your face.

“You’re harmless?” the boy arched an eyebrow, suspicious of your surrender.

“I swear! I’m just Ben’s wife, a normal human!” you pleaded.

The next moment he flashed away. You flinched, but the punch never came. Instead you heard the swooshing sound three more times and he was back at the portraits. You peered over the railing to see Jayme approach him and the stylish lady. Before you could be spotted by stylish lady, you ducked back down and continued sneaking away from the scene.

“Hey!” you were almost at the end of the hall, when you heard her yell. You tried moving forward, but she was faster. She grabbed the back of your shirt, lifting you up.

“Please, please, please, don’t hurt me” you whimpered. “I’m no one, I’m just a simple girl!”

“Yeah I don’t believe that, Jennifer!” she accused you.

“That’s the second time you called me that, but I don’t…” you breathed as you felt her grip tighten on you. “I swear I don’t know who she is! I’m just Y/n!”

“Well…”

But stylish lady couldn’t say much more as Fei appeared on the stairs.

“Y/n!” she yelled for you. “Leave her alone, you bitch!”

“That’s not a nice thing to say!” stylish lady let go of you. “I heard a rumor you couldn’t move” she whispered over you and instantly, you froze.

You couldn’t move, only watch as Fei approached her and her ravens started multiplying. Stylish lady saw this and her eyes widened.

“Actually, on second thought, screw this” she said, turning around and making a run for it.

You were left there by her, still unable to move.

“Y/n, I’ll deal with her and take care of you” Fei leaned down to you as she reached you. “I promise I’ll avenge this.”

You could only look forward as Fei left you once again. You could hear the commotion behind you as Fei’s ravens started destroying a door somewhere close to you. Not much later you actually heard the familiar swooshing sound of the boy teleporting and his frantic muttering.

Suddenly whatever spell was placed on you was broken and you fell forward.

“Oh God” you sighed out, grabbing at your elbow which you hit as you fell. You also saw the dried blood on the back of your hand where C/n scratched you. Poor kitten was probably scared out of his mind.

“Vanya, get out of there!” you suddenly heard the boy shout and you slowly stood up to peer over the railing, into the living room.

There lay the short woman on the broken table and the Sparrows slowly surrounded him. You saw her breathing hard and groaning, trying to get back up. Suddenly she started glowing white. You couldn’t make sense of it, but knew it couldn’t be any good.

“Ben, be careful!” you shouted just before she… exploded? Her energy exploded, which threw you back to the railing behind you.

It was over before you knew it and could hear the others groaning and getting up from the debris.

“Oh god…” you heard Chris garble. “What the hell was that?”

Marcus appeared in your vision and offered a hand.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

“Never better” you groaned, accepting his hand. He pulled you up and led you to the balcony, where he looked down at the destruction.

“It’s over” he started. “Go. Don’t come back.”

You could only focus on Ben, who stood in front of the fireplace, clutching his side. Marcus sighed next to you as him and the rest of the Sparrows watched the woman, Vanya, exit.

“Y/n” Marcus turned to you. “C’mon, I’ll take you to Grace, she’ll fix you up.”

You nodded silently, sparing another look at your husband and his family standing in the debris.

You sighed as you exited the bathroom. It’s been about an hour since you got stitched by Grace (when you hit the railing it split the skin on your head open) and then you went to take a shower to freshen up. Meanwhile though, your husband was nowhere to be found around you.

You could only guess that they got a dressing down from Marcus, blaming them for the destruction. So you headed to the only place where you knew they could be: the training room.

“Y/n!” you heard Grace’s voice call out as you headed toward the room. “Do you need a smoothie too?”

“No thanks, Grace” you smiled at the robot. “I’m fine. Is that for the guys?”

“Of course, they need their greens for their training” she said as she caught up with you.

You nodded silently and opened the door in front of you.

“The skinny one is their weak link” you heard Fei say as you entered.

“Unless hiding behind couches shouting, ‘Where’s my daddy?’ is his superpower” Ben replied sarcastically.

Grace put the tray down on the table and you leaned against the wall to watch your husband stop the treadmill and slow to a walk before getting off of it.

“Enough post-gaming. They hurt Y/n and disrespected us!” he said as he walked toward you. “We need to be out there finding these freaks and taking ‘em out!”

He reached you and put an arm around you, kissing your forehead gently, which contrasted so much from his harsh words.

“Oh, you mean like this?” Marcus asked and switched whatever video was playing to the surveillance footage of the last moment of the fight. The others sighed and stopped their treadmills as well. Marcus walked in front of them and shook his head. “Can someone explain to me how you got your asses handed to you in 30 seconds?”

You sighed, massaging Ben’s back as he stiffened at Marcus’s admonishments.

“Do you have any idea what would happen to our reputation if anyone had seen that?!” he yelled at the end, pointing to the TV screen. “I mean we hadn’t faced any decent enemies for years. This could be good for us. Good for business. But only if we’re smart with our next moves.”

“Is that all you care about?” you spoke up suddenly, annoyed to see that the version of him that only cared about missions and being famous came out.

“I’m sorry?” he turned toward you.

“Did you even try to think about what these people could be here for? That what they were saying is true?”

“Y/n…” Ben shushed you. “Don’t make things worse, darling.”

“I’m not trying to. But did you even notice their faces? When they were talking, when they looked at you?” you looked at him. “The way they fought? I mean tell me if their style doesn’t seem familiar…”

“Y/n, this discussion is not for you. Our next move is not for you to decide” Marcus spoke up sternly. “You are not a Sparrow. You are not part of the team.”

“Fine” you gritted your teeth, then pulled out of Ben’s arms and turned around, just as Reginald came in.

“Nice one dipshit” Ben snarled at Marcus.

“You summoned, Number One?” Reginald asked Marcus.

Marcus regarded Ben and you for a second, before looking at Reginald.

“Sit” he said and you walked out.

You leaned against the wall as the door closed behind you and took a deep breath. You thought about all that the Umbrellas said before the fight ensued. And one thing stuck out.

It looked like they recognised you. But not all of them. And they called you… someone. Some other name… what was it?

Oh yeah, Jennifer. But who was this Jennifer?

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