#um vent i guess
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Big brothers need comfort too
#brains and brawn#rottmnt#cookie crumbs#my art#so um. something happened.#I'm okay but things are. really rough right now#big brothers need hugs too#I've always been drawn to big bro characters and while raph isn't exactly like mine it's still close enough to hurt#anxiety runs deep#anxiety manifesting in anger is something that ties raph to my older brother#personal stuff#vent#i guess#rottmnt Donnie#rottmnt raph#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles
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In theory i like the idea that rick is growing and developing as a person. In practice it ends up falling short though, because no one balances him out. rick is getting better while no one else is getting worse, and it causes the whole thing to end up feeling a bit stale. The biggest draw, at least for me, has always been rick and morty's shitty dynamic, but it barely exists anymore because rick has been so watered down.
The ideal solution is literally just to make morty into a bigger asshole. Essentially flipping the main characters' personalities would offer a wide variety of conflict into the show, and would also help keep it "fresh".
Instead it feels the writers are pretending that they can't possibly do anything with morty's character, that they have to keep him the same anxious idiot he was in season one. I've said this before, but it's incredibly frustrating to watch the show have no problem with expanding rick's character while struggling with keeping morty's heavily stagnated characterization consistent. Where rick has space to develop between multiple seasons, morty is constantly forced into one of two boxes (smart/stupid) depending on the episode.
#rick and morty#again i dont hate ricks therapy arc i just hate that morty doesnt have a parallel AntiTherapy arc#not to mention how. even if morty IS more bitter it usually only lasts for like an episode#there is no smooth progression or development. the show is just ping ponging between him being an idiot vs him being capable#this is why im sooooooososososo badly hoping the roy machine comes into play again.#otherwise this is genuinely offensive treatment of a main character#genuinely at the moment i feel like fandom understands morty better than the writers.#this is a half vent post to be honest im just so tired of the rick bias within the staff. Like make. a new show at this point#i also have thoughts on the way rick has been written these past few seasons and um .#well it feels lile fans are in the writers room and im afraid this is a negative. it sort of seems like the show is trying to-#sweep ricks past actions and behaviors under the rug#as if he isnt literally the worst person ever. up until recently i guess.#like its just frustrating seeing mortys abuse being handled so haphazardly? like the s5 2 crows episode#it just feels like the writers are trying to fill out a checklist instead of writing them as people.#“what we had was abusive dont you see?” who talks like this#okay im over it(lying)#rick sanchez#morty smith
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
#ughhhh#im not going to drop out just yet#itd be a shame i think#theres many opportunities at my uni that i just dont take cause i cant commit to them or im too tired or im too scared#idk if doing any of this is worth it if i don't truly commit tho#i dont think ive learned anything these past 2 years tbh i feel like ive been wasting time and money#and i know my mental state is just my fault cause i cant get myself to do anything and i feel shame and spiral but goddd#idk i just feel like shit#the academic year starts so soon and i just dread everything thats to come#idk i dont even feel like im going to come out of this school with a portfolio. im literally nothing and ive done nothing#i have no idea how i could write a dissertation because ive literally learned nothing i have no desire to learn i just want to fucking chil#i cant get myself to care much for anything except silly shit thats just a distraction from uni work ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh#sucks sucks everything sucks#sorry for this stupid fucking essay im just having lots of thoughts and no one to tell them so.. um#vent#i know this is all my fault but also like. what am i supposed to do about it every solution sounds like literal hell to me -_-#i guess ive been feeling less suicidal recently which i guess is good but i feel like its bad cause like ykiyk ig#idk its all a huge contradiction
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Who else up wanting to be objectified because then at least you’ll be wanted and chased after. You won’t have to chase after others anymore, you can let it all go and trust that you’ll be carried and not dropped. No one?? Okay….
#> hey cecil says a thing! <#vent#I love him. I know he loves me. but sometimes I want to be the one being controlled.#shout out to the scam bot on one of my photo posts. blocked but thanks anyway.#I don’t want to be a person anymore. I’m not a person. I’m just an object.#and if I’m an object I want to be a pretty one. one to fight for. one to possess.#no one has ever fought for me. daydreamed about me. wanted me.#I’m always a second thought. an ‘‘oh um well I guess’’.#never chased after. never wanted beforehand. never seen and craved.#I know it’s wrong to want that. to want to be objectified or catcalled or whatever else.#but then at least I’ll know I’m good enough to be enjoyed.#yeah alright go ahead#send me creepy asks and DMs and shit#I don’t care anymore
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Every time the crystalised discussion on twitter comes back and they get to Lloyd's issues with his father i want to freaking rip my hair out
"Lloyd's in the wrong" "Lloyd was an ass" (<something I literally just saw)
God forbid a child hurt by their parent BE HURT. BE UPSET.
#LLOYD was an ass???? um. have you seen his father?????#i hate it so much i hate it so much i hate it so much#i want to throw up#why do you people not get it#do you need to have a shitty parent yourself to get it.#my mum has never tried to kill me but i get it !!#i WISH i could go off at her like lloyd did!#or wohld i be an ass for that too? hm?#despite the years of hurt caused? hm?#shut the hell up all of you i#this is so stupid to be angry about but lloyd being allowed to br angry at his dad meant a lot to me#this feels so relatable to me#so personal#why do people refuse to see that lloyd has been hurt by his fathers actions again and again#him having issues woth his father isnt even new to crystalised!#remember in s4 when je said something about 'walking out on us again'???#nooo probably not because that man is aaaaalways perfect and the best ever!#i dont know where im going with this im just upset and annoyed and this always happens#i need to continue getting readynfor work.#ignore me#vent#i guess.
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ughhhhhhhhh I’m gonna fail my lab practical tomorrow
#college#complaining yeah#how does one. have motivation to do schoolwork#I feel like I had everything so together in high school#straight A student/semi-popular at my theater/got to sit with a few friends at lunch and study hall and in class#and I was drawing! and helping in other ways! and everything!#everything.#too much “everything” can add up after 4 years or so.#4 years of doing my absolute best and getting rewarded for it#things are different. things have changed.#aged out of theater. don’t see anyone from school anymore.#and I know it’s my fault#I know I need to reach out more#I have reached out#something’s happening#I feel like I’m ruining my own life#I’m ruining everything.#all because I can’t bring myself to care anymore.#I just can’t.#sorry I.#didn’t mean for this to turn into a vent post.#idk if anyone’s even going to read this.#thanks I guess. um. /gen haha#…#yeah… yeah.
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me when i definitely listen and care about the bisexuals in my community
idk man. as a bisexual person who has really loved our life for so long... this is all just incredibly disappointing. i had really been looking forward to olnf but... i dunno.
making a tasteless joke in a private discord server is one thing - especially when it's a joke that gets leaked without your consent. that's not great. but to be the creator of the game and continue to defend these statements and insist that anybody who is offended by that shit is just "confused" ?? as if rose himself being bisexual gets him a get out of biphobia free card? 😐😐😐😐
#ive also seen people saying similar things about the transphobia and racism fwiw but like#this isnt meant to be a comprehsnvie callout post for how GB patch has handled this. this is just meant to be a bisexual who really cared#about these games being bitchy.#so i didnt want to um. definitively speak on that i guess#but i'd recommend reading the posts by blossoming-attorneyy and ouchthathurts for a Black and trans perspective on this whole situation#negative#vent#discourse
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happy average normal everyday non-holiday sunday everyone
#waaaaaaaaaauuhuhghg i stayed up til 5am bc i hate this dayyyyyy i hate celebrating this daaaaayyyyyy#staying up all night is my way of procrastinating this holiday like if i just stay up i’ll get my enjoyment in#and then i will be able to handle this day. AUUUUUGH#im not gonna lie it’s been getting worse#it’s crazy what secrets do to u like whoa. i thought u were joking but no i actually am rotting from inside lol 🙈 but anyways#happy sunday to the normal people and to those with good relationships w your mother um goodmorning to u too i guess#thats bitter of meeee im sorry im happy for yall truly. and jealous 🤒#vent tw#lol me putting a trigger warning on my vents is so capricorn moon of me
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The despaired wolf sits atop a hill on a dark, cold night. he howls desperately, a cry for the attention he so desperately yearns for. The wolf aspires to have attention that isn't negative. He howls to maybe find someone that will not treat him like he's nothing just because he's unable to stick with the pack he was shunned from. The wolf cries because the world was unfair, he cries because it feels like no one's there. he has an almost hatred for the universe around him, for the treatment he has gotten. The despair he has been brought his whole life. He thinks the world means nothing at all. But. Little did the wolf know just how much he has his part In the world, and little did he know that some people? They really do care. They are certainly there.
He just had to look behind him, and past the foggy night.
#vent#?#writing#poetry#kinda i guess#wolf#this must be so cringe but um send post#wolves#im not a writer this is bad
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The silly thing about being a person is that sometimes I'll find out I got blocked by someone I dont even know and I have to be normal it and not get anxious that I'm somehow doing something wrong
#i am normal i am normal and do not have crippling social anxiety#um. this feels like it needs a tag#vent#where's my vent tag lemme dust that off#the pit in the backyard#kinda silly that my tags are dog themed but Im a rat#I guess rats can also dig probably#OH YEAJ THIS IS NOT A WOE IS ME PLEASE UNBLOCK ME POST#you dont have to do shit Im just rambling#(... oh wait shit is it because im a multishipper and dnn main?)#(no! stop thinking about it stop thinking about it!!)
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Bites drywall. Socializing is SO complicated, my goodness.
#🌸 minminrambles#W;#vent#ish#kinda sorta not really almost etc etc.#But i have been typing to myself for the past. …hour or so. About how much i feel my social life has changed and how I haven’t processed ho#overwhelming it is to have social things… happen to me.#Like. Friendships??? Potential romance??? Close and great friendships???#there are a few goofs from school who I guess I’m hanging out with now??? Me— CEO of getting to class an hour early — choosing to hang#out in the science lounge until five minutes before. It hits me like BRICKS.#And I! Have close online friends! And I’m just forever in awe of it. I don’t know how remotely to express it but I have so much love in my#little heart for them. I go stupid trying to write words and emotes and express things. So I hold back a bit.#And gah. There is this femme I’ve been going butch stupid over— I’ve talked with her for a little while- but only met in person this#Tuesday. And ack. I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling. Because I want to be careful and reserved but I also want to push forth#And maybe try asking her out on a more official date / meeting???#I have no idea where I’d take her but. Hm. Maybe I could um. Ask the science goofs. Actually. Hm.#But ack. I want to be so careful with every social thing. And I’m rambling too much again but I’m just. Much love in my heart. And much#stupid in my head <3#Sitting here crying a little over it all.#I have a lot in my heart. And it makes me upset that I can’t quite share it how others can. But! I share in the ways I can. Gah.#Anyway much love to you the reader if u have tolerated my ramblings. BAHAHAHA <3
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Oh this feels wrong, my mom just broke down and told me what's going on from her perspective, and gave me some instructions for when she's gone. The part that's really getting to me is that I didn't feel an ounce of remorse, none. I'm even celebrating in my head, I had to cover my mouth in fake pity because I was smiling so wide...
She's not a bad person by any means... Just a little how do I put this? Insane.
Like she hasn't done anything bad enough for me to lack any sort of remorse or empathy towards her situation.
Idk it's messing with my head. Damn I'm a selfish asshole.
#maybe she was tight and i am the abusive one in this family.#maybe its my age? i did hear somewhere that people my age tend to be narcissistic assholes#i mean in my defense this could save ger life#like she probably has a tumor or cancer in her stomach that she refuses to get checkd cause shes “pregnant” like its been 3 years...#vent#um yeah ppl are probably gonna assume im an asshole bcuz of this#which i am so good ig#maybe im the one who needs psychiatric help#anyway my brother said that my reaction to the news “makes him sick” which fair i guess#i did throw my hands up in the air and start celebrating#damn thats awful actually#i need to be put down#im a menace#*right* on the first tag
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ngl i had a couple rough days regarding my food intake and im just losing my fucking mind rn
#im trying to be sooo normal about food but good lord the food noise is absolutely insane rn#and it doesnt help that im not in the mood for any activities that would take my mind off this or that i was#eating absolutely horribly yesterday AUUARHF#well at least i dont feel sick and its super hard to eat normally rn#not even craving anything really badly rn i just have food noise on the highest possible setting and its impossible to determine if im#actually hungry or if my broken brain is just begging me for the food it wants#TOT#so yyyeah kinda rough and im not in high spirits overall either so its just. hard#not having much fun drawing or writing today either and i just keep getting pulled back in to thinking about the food goddaminnttt#ok um#vent#lmaoo#cw food#food mention#cw binge eating#byee <3#um welcome to my diary i guess i just need to write these posts i always feel so much better when i do xd
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[ i stay just to run and i run for my life / i must dig those graves if i want to stay alive ]
#comfy art#ajj#french quarter#oh for the love of god click to view i dont know what happened to the quality#first art post in. awhile. oopsyy#this was originally vent art and i guess it still is but im normal now and have been working on it in various moods so now#that ive finished its like ohhhh forgot this looked like that#feels weird to be posting it in a great mood like hey guys heyy um ignore the disturbances i just spent awhile working on this#so i cant not post it#vent#<- for filtering jic
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sitting on my bed, drinking what is probably my ninth caprisun of the day, and just fucking crying. cause i’ve realized that as much as i try, i’ll never be fucking normal. i don’t know what it is, maybe it’s my depression, maybe it’s shit from my childhood, but whatever it is i just can’t be a normal fucking human being. as much as i try, i’ll always be putting on a performance, which is really mediocre at best, to act like the people around me. i’ll talk too much, and the people around me get sick of it. i’ll apologize for talking too much, and eventually the people around me will get sick of that too. i nearly cried because one of my friends - jokingly - told me to shut up while i was rambling on to her. can i really blame her for not wanting an unsolicited explanation about the differences between different symbiotic relationships? no, but how was i supposed to know she didn’t want that information? if i didn’t know about it already, i’d want to hear about it. so maybe i’m just selfish. maybe i can’t grasp the fact that i’m different from most people. i’m not saying that in a “i’m so quirky and different way” i fucking hate it. and i can’t expect anyone to understand because i don’t fucking understand it myself.
#vent#i guess#sorry for the rant#um#well#mental illness#possibly#its my dads fault id wager#oh well#if you know me irl no you dont
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okay stressful event done, hopefully i can be calm and normal again starting tomorrow 🙏
everyone put your lucky clovers and horseshoes together for me to hope that I did not get covid because I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE VICINITY WEARING A MASK. OUT OF 200 ISH PEOPLE. FUCK !
#but i wore it and i ignored all the stares and strange looks ppl gave me#i do not want to be further disabled jesus christ please i am hoping against hope I'll be okay#i did not have a choice in the matter of going or not but holy shit it was not worth going even 😭😭 it was so bad fjfkdl#I can't say much abt it bc I'll end up doxxing myself but it was so bad. and i wish i had not gone dbfkdl#also my mother was so mean and saying some random guy was disgusting and meanwhile i was like ummm awooga 👀#she is so fucking awful and i hate it. he had a bit of a belly sticking out from his shirt bc he was stretching and he had body hair#and um. well. we all know how Normal i am about that sort of guy.... Not Normal At All LMAO#it just makes me feel more affirmed in choosing to not ever share my art w my mother lmfao#she would hate what i draw. and I'm trying not to let that get to me but .... oh well i guess !#even though i learned at like age 11 that i shouldn't even try to share my creations w her i still yearn for approval or whatever#UMMM LOL WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT RN OOPS SORRY. I'll go skitter off into the night now DBFJDKL#HOPEFULLY I'LL BE NORMAL TOMORROW BLEASE... also i need to go see what Chase was posting earlier augh#dandy.cmd#vent //
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