#um actually I don't know how to describe this fic

[tideswept]

For the WIP game - "heart" for Obikin. Whatcha got in that wip folder chief 👀

oh, man. Okay. I forgot about this fic. This is set during the OWK fight.

When the pain strikes, it drives Obi-Wan to his knees. He gasps—or thinks he does. Maybe he’s screaming silently, mouth wide open, caught in an inferno of agony as the Force roars around him like an open flame, devouring his flesh, reaching inside his chest to take what remains of his shriveled-up heart in order to finally turn it to ash. This must be what Anakin felt on Mustafar. He’s always wondered, obsessed over it. Now he knows.

[uhhhj13iguess]

i should've kissed you

kind of a song fic based off of 'i should've kissed you' by one direction lmao, no lyrics though! just heavily inspired from

avenger!peter parker x fem!reader

summary: the five times peter almost kissed you and didn't, and the one time he finally did

UM LMFAO 5.3K WORDS I KNOW THATS RIGHT

masterlist

1

peter fell back harshly onto his bed, a groan escaping his lips. he ran his hands over his face roughly before throwing his hands down to his side in frustration, small punches made at his mattress as he stared up at his ceiling.

he took a few deep breaths, cringing as he replayed the ending of your and peter's date in his mind.

the date had been going perfectly. in fact, peter had yet to be convinced the entire night wasn't a dream as he walked you back through the halls of the avengers tower after your dinner that evening.

everything felt so right, and he knew you felt it too. you were laughing at all of his jokes, small touches on his arm: for once in his life, he was being smooth. and for once in his life, it was actually working.

as you approached your door, you turned to face him, hand reaching out to meet his. he grabbed it with a smile, squeezing it gently and taking a step closer to you.

"i had a really good time tonight, pete. i'm really glad you asked me out." you looked up at him, nothing but love in your eyes. he melted just looking at them.

he smiled softly back at you. "i am too. i'd really love to do it again sometime, (y/n)."

"me too," you spoke in a whisper.

peter reached up to brush hair out of your eyes, tucking it gently behind your ear. you looked at him through your long lashes, a blush apparent across your features. you leaned into his touch and he held his hand there against your cheek, beaming at you. your eyes flickered down to his lips before returning to meet his gaze, lightly chewing on your own lips.

holyshitholyshitholyshit, okay. calm down. this is it. you have the signal, this is going to be awesome, just lean in and --

and he... didn't? wait, why am i not leaning in? kiss her, goddamn it!

peter stood there frozen, a look of awe still adorning his features as he stared at you. you gave him yet another soft smile, reaching up to grab his hand from your cheek. you gave it a quick squeeze before letting it go at his side.

"'night pete. i'll see you tomorrow?"

you reached for your door knob, giving him an eager look with a grin still plastered across your face.

he nodded feverntly, choking out a quiet "y-yeah, of course,"

you nodded and gave him a small wave before disappearing behind your door.

peter remained frozen for a few more seconds, still staring where you no longer stood in front of him. his eyes widened and he let out a shakey breath.

"holy shit, i should've kissed her."

peter let out another groan at the memory, rolling over to bury his head in his pillow.

he had just went on the most perfect date with the woman of his dreams. there's already no way the entire thing wasn't just the most beautiful dream he'd ever had, and there's no WAY he fucked up taking his chance to kiss you. he truly could not believe himself.

peter let out a damn near pathetic whine into his pillow as he replayed the moment for what would come to be many times that night.

2

"i don't know ned, i just... froze!"

"you just froze? are you fucking with me right now?"

peter let a sigh out as he placed his phone on speaker, setting it on his desk so he could finish pulling on his shirt. he wanted to call ned before running out to get coffee with you that next morning, and the more he spoke, the more he regretted it.

"i wish i was. i actually cannot describe to you how much i wish i was."

he heard ned let out another "dude" as he messed with his hair in the mirror.

"she's never going to talk to me again, is she?"

"dude, she's never going to look at you again. i don't know how much more to say you were already punching over your weight here, and somehow still landed the date, and you just fumbled it?? i mean, you went on a date with like, the woman of all women, and you didn't kiss her goodnight?!? i, i can't-"

"ughhh, ned you're not helping!!"

"what do you want me to say, dude? there's no way you fucked up this hard. you have to get in there and kiss her before you don't get the chance to fuck it up again."

peter let out a sigh as he picked up his phone, taking it off speaker and bringing it to his ear.

"do you think she's going to even give me another chance?" he asked solemnly, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"you really better hope she does."

"fuck."

peter ended the call and grabbed his belongings, shaking off his not-so-helpful call with ned and heading downstairs to meet you out front. he had to admit it, he was relieved to see you still showed up. your patience with him must've been god-given, and he wasn't going to mess this up again.

"hey, you" peter called out to you, earning a smile in his direction as you turned back to see him.

"hey, pete. how'd you sleep?"

"good, you?" he lied through his teeth as if his disastrous decision allowed him one second of rest last night.

but you gave him yet another smile, and his nerves around the whole situation seemed to go away.

"good. ready to go? i'm starting to think if i don't get some caffeine in me soon, you're not going to want that second date." you laughed, beginning to walk down the street as peter joined your side.

"highly doubtful," he said with a nudge at your arm. "so you had a good time? last night, i mean?"

you nodded eagerly, your eyes lighting up as soon as you thought about the date.

"the best."

peter smiled at you, "good."

over the course of the walk over, you picked up normal conversation and peter felt relief wash through his body as he began to realize maybe he didn't blow his chance. he grew more confident, flirting with you and even interlocking your fingers together as he felt your hand brush his.

you blushed like a madman at the action, but gladly accepted as you rounded the corner to the coffee shop you and peter often frequented, even before he had expressed his feelings to you.

peter was feeling good again. he did his best to shake his attempt from last night and just plan for the next one. he got back in his groove, doing everything he could do to woo you. he grabbed the door to the shop for you, paid for your coffee, and pulled your stool out at the counter. he had this.

he picked up a conversation about something sam and bucky had gotten into this week, earning nothing but full belly laughs from you. peter felt on top of the world hearing your laugh, his smile faltering slightly as he watched you bring your coffee to your lips. he took a deep breath, his senses immediately overwhelmed as he saw you repeat the gesture towards him, the two of you silently flickering between eye contact and staring at the other's lips.

he didn't know who moved first, but you both began to lean closer to one another, whispers of your conversation falling on deaf ears as he focused on not missing his shot this time.

okay parker, you've got this. she's right here, all you have to do is just... kiss her. okay? just, for fucks sake just kiss her

you sat inches away from his face, once again staring up at peter through your lashes, batting them softly at him.

signal! that's the signal! peter! lean! in!

and again, he just... didn't?? there's no chance in hell he messed this up a second time. what the fuck is wrong with him.

the vibrations of his phone on the counter startled you both, earning a chuckle from you as he muttered an apology, picking up the phone. his face bright red.

"i, yeah? oh, yeah we can be there shortly. yeah. okay mr. stark, thanks."

he ended the call with a sad smile in your direction.

"tony wants us at the tower for a meeting asap." he let out with a breathy laugh, looking down at his hands.

he expected to look up and see disappointment in your eyes, but he was caught off guard when all he was met with was sincerity. you gave him a smile, grabbing his hand and giving it a small kiss before pulling him from the counter.

"no worries! it's not like we weren't going to get coffee tomorrow again anyways."

peter gave you a thankful smile, sliding out of the cafe with you, hand in hand. you were so quick to jump back to your usual self, carrying on your conversation like nothing happened. peter, however, was still absolutely distraught.

there's no way he fucked this up for a second time.

and there's no way you were as forgiving with him as you were about it. a second time.

jesus christ, he needed to get his shit together.

3

it had been a few days since the coffee shop incident, and since he'd been able to get you alone. he had swung by your room, wondering if you wanted to knock out some training with him. sure, sparring wasn't the most romantic, but he was desperate for any chance that came his way at this point.

this led to the two of you being in your current position, sweaty and out of breath, taking turns swinging at each other. you weren't much of a match against peter, but training seemed like a good enough excuse for you to spend some time with him.

peter let out a grunt as he dodged your right hook, immediately sensing your follow up hit and catching your wrist mid-air.

"that's good! if you're fighting against Dum-E, maybe."

you rolled your eyes at him, a scoff escaping your throat. "yeah, right, didn't he leave you quite the egg on your forehead last week?"

"i couldn't see, tony shut the lights off on me in the lab." peter grumbled, throwing a few punches your way only for you to dodge them with ease.

"stop pulling your punches so much, parker, I'm not fragile."

peter smirked at you, letting out a mumbled "as you wish" before instantly sweeping your feet from under you and pinning you against the mat. your back hit the ground with a thud, earning a heavy whine from you as you closed your eyes.

"oh, is this what you wanted?" peter teased, feeling cocky as he held your arms on either side of your head, his hips holding yours to the mat.

you fluttered your eyes open, a breath hitching in your throat as you realized the position you were in: peter on top of you for the first time ever, nose to nose. both of you were panting, from the exercise or the situation, neither of you knew.

peter felt hot. every part of him felt so hot, and he had to actively will his blood to stay in the upper half of his body ashe hovered over you. he took a moment away from his pride to realize how he had you under him, and his senses were overwhelmed again. his ears felt like they were going to burn off the sides of his head as you looked at him, again using the moment to flicker down to his lips. he licked them subconsciously, earning a barely audible whine from you as he did.

so help me god, if you don't kiss her right now, no spider-man for a week. a week!

but despite him pleading with his body to take action, he just couldn't seem to move and seal the deal. he muttered to himself, begging his body to respond and do something.

come on, come on, come on! why?!

peter barely got to see the smirk flash across your face before you moved, quickly flipping him and switching the position to pin him and take dominance.

he let out a groan as his back hit the mat, a half cough/half laugh escaping his lips.

"fuck, (y/n),"

you gave peter a grin, releasing your grip on his wrists and climbing off of him. you extended your hand outwards, peter reluctantly grabbing it to stand.

"never let your guard down, parker. you'll lose all the control."

he let out a scoff and a "yeah whatever," as he met you face to face again. "i let that happen. so, so you could get the practice, obviously."

you placed a hand on his cheek, giving it a soft pat. "I'm sure you did, bug boy."

peter rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him swiftly. you let out a soft gasp, your lips nearly grazing each others once again.

he leaned in so that your foreheads were pressed together, a hand still holding your wrist mid-air. he let out a deep laugh, his hot breath on your lips sending goosebumps across your skin. "funny that you think you're the one in--"

"little spider! lady (y/l/n)! i was hoping for some willing contenders this afternoon!" thor roared as he announced his presence in the gym.

peter let out a heavy sigh, dropping your wrist. "... control,"

you gave him an apologetic smile before greeting thor as he made his way over.

"holy shit, i might have to kill myself over this." peter whispered to himself.

"what was that, pete?"

"i said i think thor's going to kill us."

third time's not the fucking charm, to say the least.

4

yet another few days passed with no success on peter's front, and he was growing more worried with each passing moment that he'd never get to kiss you.

he seriously had no idea what was wrong with him and why he kept freezing, despite everything inside him pleading to just. kiss. you.

you had decided you wanted to plan the second date, finally getting to steal peter away after a week since the last time you'd gone out. on the menu for the evening was an in-house movie night in the lounge, fit with any and every star wars movie for peter to choose from. you'd brought in every pillow and blanket you'd owned, even stealing the ones from steve's bed on your way over. you loaded the couch with the bedding, shooting a text peter's way with instructions to bring drinks and to wear his pajamas. you swapped your phone for the remote, carefully getting the tv loaded as you heard footsteps enter the room.

"shit, pete you were quick, i'm kind of impressed-- oh, hey wanda!" you turned and saw the red-headed woman before you, amazed at the scene laid out in front of her.

"it looks great in here, (y/n). are you going to be watching a movie?"

you gave her a sweet smile. "yeah, peter's on his way down."

"this looks so relaxing, do you mind if vis and i join you? we're quiet movie watchers, i promise!"

you paused for a second, flashing a quick smile to hopefully hide some of your disappointment.

"oh! well, i..."

"hey (y/n), i grabbed you an apple juice, i didn't see grape in there. is this a movie night? I have a sneaking su-- oh! hey wanda, are you joining in too?" peter waltzed into the lounge, freezing when seeing both you and wanda in the designated location of his texts.

wanda looked in your direction, and you couldn't say no to that face (no matter how badly you wanted to right now).

"yeah, that's okay with me. what do you think, pete?"

he nodded quickly, hoping he was following you correctly as he hoped to grasp any context to the situation. "yeah no, i mean that's, of course."

wanda let out a squeal of excitement, rushing out of the room. "i'm going to grab vision, thanks guys! this is going to be awesome!"

you gave peter an apologetic smile as he walked closer to you, handing you the aforementioned drink.

"I didn't know we were already up to double dates." peter gave you a soft smirk.

"i didn't either," you pouted, grabbing a seat on the couch and patting the cushions next to you. "i'm sorry, pete. i'll make it up to you."

peter sat down, giving you a chuckle as he settled into the corner of the couch, grabbing your hands gently. "i'm happy wherever you are."

he was even more happy to discover the viewing of the evening was a star wars movie of his own picking.

the four of them settled in, wanda and vision wasting no time getting comfortable curling into one another. peter noticed this, feeling more at ease in putting his own arm around you. you reciprocated gladly, leaning into his side and swinging your legs over his. peter felt his sense of touch heighten by a thousand, the feeling of you against him pushing him into overdrive.

he took a deep breath to steady himself, wrapping you up tighter and focusing his best on your heartbeat. he'd never held you this close before, and he could swear it was the best thing he'd ever felt.

time passed and you and peter melted into each other, fully engrossed in the movie as you heard a rumble in his stomach. you laughed quietly, lifting your head from his chest.

"hungry, parker?"

he blushed and nodded sheepishly, hearing the giggles of wanda in the background.

"y-yeah, i guess so. i can throw on some popcorn, if you guys want some too?" he looked around the room.

vision shot up, beaming. "ah! i have just learned this recipe, allow me! i will be back momentarily." he voiced before phasing out of the room.

wanda stood up quickly. "last time he made the popcorn, we had to call the fire department. i'll be right back, keep watching!"

she ran out of the room, the frantic nature of the situation making you giggle. peter looked over to you, relief washing over him as he got to have you alone, even if just for a few minutes. that was all he needed.

you looked up to face him, a blush creeping on your cheeks as you noticed how close your faces were.

peter took a deep breath and smiled at you. "are you going to tony's gala on friday?"

you looked back up at him. "yeah, although i don't think i've got a single thing to wear. look at what i'm wearing right now, peter," you gestured downwards. "we're talking about an event that he's invited adele to."

"you're saying these sweats weren't what you had in mind? shit, i'm gonna need to rethink some things." peter made a thinking face and feigned concern.

you both laughed quietly, soaking in the presence of one another. you shiftly slightly in his lap so you could reach your hand to his curls, gently beginning to play with them. "i take that as you plan on going as well?"

he nodded against your hand, taking the other one in his own. he cleared his throat.

"i was... i was actually wondering if, if you wanted to come with me. like, as my... my date?"

your face lit up in an instant and any reservations peter held in his mind were gone. you smiled so wide it became contagious, peter grinning back at you with a shy laugh, no longer able to hold eye contact.

your hand previously in his hair dropped to his chin, earning his gaze once again. "i'd love to, peter. that sounds really fun."

at this point, your fingers were delicate on his chin and ghosting over his features, all attention focused on peter's pink lips.

he took a deep breath, taking in your proximity and touch. he was on fire again.

peter parker, she is literally touching your lips with her fingers! do something! now!

but he just sat there, breathing you in as your hand now confidently rested on his jawbone and your thumb tugged gently at his bottom lip.

but he just sat there, staring at your lips the entire time, not touching them.

"pete?" you asked as you bumped your noses together. he flickered his eyes back up to yours.

"yeah?"

you let out a shakey breath, fluttering your eyes closed. "i... i-"

your eyes shot open and you pulled back sharply. "what's that smell?"

peter let out a whine as he lost your attention, his mouth hung open.

wanda came bursting through the door. "sorry guys! just a mild fire, but we put it out! i hope you like your popcorn a little... uh, charred."

she grimaced as she handed the two of you a bowl, completely unable to read the room.

vision followed in shortly, taking his seat back next to wanda. "my sincerest apologist. all fires have been extinguished and i have alerted mr. stark about the damage to his cabinets. he has a... guy on speed dial now."

you let out a laugh, thanking them for the popcorn and turning back to face the screen, once again snuggling into peter who remained slack-jawed and in disbelief.

i'm dead. i'm dead and i'm in a state of limbo for eternity. what the actual fuck is going on.

the four of you finished the first two star wars movies before calling it quits, you admitting how tired you'd grown over the evening. peter, on the other hand, had been sulking since wanda and vision came back in almost three hours ago now.

his spirits rose slightly, however, as you kissed him on the cheek before you bid goodnight to everyone, sending him one last smile before turning the corner.

ned was NOT going to believe this one.

5

when peter had picked you up friday night and saw you in your gown, he vowed to himself that he wouldn't bother coming home if he didn't kiss you.

you were the most stunning person he'd ever seen, a red dress adorning your body in all the best ways possible.

a red dress. his color. lord. have. mercy.

the night went accordingly, both of you mingling with the rest of the team, exchanging glances at the random a-list celebrities tony had invited for... actually, peter had no idea what the gala was for. he just knew it was an excuse to dance with you, and that was absolutely all he cared about.

as time passed and peter got more one-on-one time with you, he led you to the dance floor, wildly embarrassing himself in front of everyone just to hear your laugh. it was like medicine to him, and it healed things he didn't know were broken.

the upbeat rhythm of the current song slowed, the DJ transitioning the once high-energy music into a ballad. the lights dimmed to accompany the romantic atmosphere. you looked around as everyone paired up, swaying back and forth with their partners. you met peter's gaze, which was filled with anxiety, but he did his best not to show it. he gave you a sweet smile, extending his hand out in the corniest fashion he could think of. all you could do was laugh.

"may i have this dance, m'lady?"

you stifled giggles as you took his hand. "why of course, my good sir."

peter held you close, his hands around your waist as you snaked your arms around his neck respectively. you swayed together as peter held you, staring intently into your eyes. a smile began to curl at the edge of your lips, but you stayed quiet, lost in his gaze. peter took a deep breath.

okay. now or never. you literally cannot possibly fuck this up.

but he did.

parker, why the actual fuck are you not moving right now!!! holy shit kiss her!!!

but he didn't.

and you can see the frustration in his eyes, causing you to tilt your head curiously. the action moved your face slightly closer to peters, and you flickered momentarily down to his lips, desperately trying to make yourself as clear as possible.

but instead of leaning forward with you, peter just looked at your lips with a defeated sight before flashing his gaze elsewhere around the room.

for the first time since peter had tried and failed to kiss you, he saw your smile falter. you pulled away and averted your eyes, suddenly wishing you were anywhere else than where you were. you took a step back, finally locking eyes with peter again.

you gave him a smile, but this time, it didn't meet your eyes.

holy shit, he fucked up big time.

"i'm going to grab some air, pete. just feeling a bit crowded."

you were so gentle about it, but peter knew he'd hurt you this time. he tried to protest, but you moved quickly through the crowd of people, his calls after you being lost in the rest of the noise.

he let out another defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping as he watched you walk out the balcony doors.

"peter!"

he jumped, snapping to his left to see sam and bucky approaching him. he was so not in the mood for whatever teasing was about to happen.

"you've got to be kidding me, kid."

"sam, listen i'm really not-"

bucky cut him off. "what is your problem, dude?"

"what?"

"(y/n) has practically been begging you to make a move all night, are you for fucking real right now?"

at this point, peter's angry. he wasn't sure more with himself or the guys for harassing him on this, but he was starting to get overwhelmed. everything started to grow louder, the lights suddenly brighter than they were before. peter took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to stop himself from freaking out.

"i, i-i dont know! i've been trying to kiss her for over a week now, and i just-"

"a week? spidey, just kiss the woman! why are you overthinking this so much?"

"i dont know, okay! i don't know! i just keep freezing! i feel like i'm going fucking insane, literally the only thing i want to do on this planet is kiss her right now, but i just--"

"i think you need to tell her that, not us." sam cut in. bucky followed.

"yeah, i'm pretty sure she feels like you think she's disgusting right now."

a mixture of pain and panic overtook peter's features. "nononono! but i don't think that!

"you sure aren't making much of a case for yourself right now, kid."

peter ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. "i can't, okay! what if i fuck everything up! people who are close to me get hurt, and this is a really big step that means something, and i can't have her getting hurt."

bucky clapped him on the shoulder. "pete, you've always been the closest pair i know, even before you started dating. i don't know how to tell you this, but you might as well also get to kiss her."

sam smacks bucky across the chest, throwing a disapproving look his way. "that's not quite what he--"

"no. he's kind of right. maybe it really is that simple."

both of the guys gave peter an unconvinced look.

"really. i mean, she's already my best friend. she's already one of the closest people to me." peter looked up at bucky. "i mean, might as well get to kiss her too, right?"

bucky smirked at the younger boy, nodding his head slowly. "that's the spirit."

"i don't know if that's the full spir-" sam cut himself off with a sigh. "listen kid, i'm glad you're not freaking out over this anymore, but remember to still-"

"gotta go kiss a girl, thanks guys!" peter yelled as he began to run through the crowd towards to balcony you were on.

sam sighed and gave an unamused look at bucky.

"'might as well kiss her'? that's your chivalry?"

"clearly he knew exactly what i meant."

"don't highroad me right now."

+1

peter nearly burst through the balcony doors, breathless and relieved to see you still out there.

you turned back to look at him, a smile washing over your features as you noticed it was peter out there with you. you were kind as ever, greeting him by name, but there was a sadness lingering in your eyes.

he approached you hastily, immediately reaching out for your hands as soon as he was within reach. you took them gladly, an inquisitive look settling on your face.

"i'm not going to fuck this up again." he panted.

you shot him a look. "what?"

he pulled you in close before his monologue:

"(y/n), i'm so stupid. i should've kissed you. i should've kissed you so many times by now, and i haven't. i havent kissed you yet despite it being literally the only thing i've wanted to do for the past week and a half. and that's so fucking stupid."

he took a step to reposition himself.

"this, i-i mean, you have given me some really big emotions after I've experienced a great deal of loss, and... and i think that's been a little hard to navigate. but i don't want it to be. i really like feeling this way with you. and i really want to kiss you."

you let out a soft chuckle as you shyed away from his forwardness, a blush raging across your cheeks. you felt peter's finger lift your chin to face him, and you met his eyes once more.

"(y/n), i cannot fucking believe that i didn't kiss you.

how... how do you feel about me, now?"

you felt like your heart was going to burst. you felt grateful for all the times he didn't kiss you so that you could be here in this moment, right now.

peter swore he'd never seen you smile bigger than at that moment. before he could even reciprocate, you grabbed him and pulled him in by his tie, finally connecting your lips for the first time. peter melted into you immediately, his hands flying up to hold the sides of your face as though he was afraid to lose you. you snaked your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, reassuring him you were exactly where you wanted to be.

after what felt like the shortest lifetime, you pulled away in a gasp for air, earning a chuckle from peter. he took a step back, mouth agape as he admired you in your entirety. he gave you a sweet smile before another soft peck on your lips, his contagious smile bleeding into the kiss.

with your foreheads pressed together, peter took a deep breath, a laugh interrupting the exhale. you looked up.

"what?"

"i just can't believe we could've been doing that this whole time."

"i think this one was worth the wait."

[angelbitezzz]

Softies

(short fic under the cut)

It wasn't noticeable at first. Sans wasn't even sure when he'd become aware of it, the distant sound of some kind of thumping. It was rhythmic and steady, unchanging in its tone or speed, barely heard above the breaths of the human he was nearly draped over. He roused slightly, drowsily opening his eyesockets.

"hey." His voice was low and rumbly from sleep. "what's that sound? listenin' to some weird music or something?"

"Eh? Sound? Nah, I'm not listening to anything." Angel responded, glancing away from her phone to look down at his head. "What is it that you're hearing?"

Well, that woke him up a little more. He raised a browbone, incredulity leaking into his voice.

"what, seriously? y'don't hear that thumping sound?"

"No?? Trust me, I'd tell you if I did."

"then what the hell—"

He cut himself off when the motion of lifting his head cut the sound off. He paused. Thought about it for a second, and realized something.

"wait."

"Mhm?"

"can i—can i check something?"

Sans shifted around, shuffling to face her better and grabbing her by the arms to move her around, his mind already three steps ahead and way past caring about personal space.

"Whoa, what're you—"

Angel's words were cut off as he pressed the side of his skull to her chest, heedless of the fact that he essentially just pushed his face into her boobs. Her back abruptly went straight, a shudder working through her system as she nearly dropped the phone in her hands.

"Uhhh," Her mind blanked out, her pulse increasing from the proximity. "Sans?"

"shut up, testing hypothesis."

She would've snapped at him for being a rude shit if it weren't for the fact that he was hit with some kind of understanding about a second later. His eyesockets opened wide, dim pupils sparking a bright white she'd never seen before from him. His default was that single red eye, but lately she'd seen him with dull gray pupils whenever they were alone. This was different, though, it was... almost friendly-looking? It was the best way to describe the sudden softening of his features.

"that's— that's coming from—" He sounded so softly awestruck that fondness struck her heart, his grip tightening on her. "is that you? what—"

Ohhh. She understood now. She pulled away softly so she could look at him properly, though he didn't seem to want to let her get too far, keeping his hold on her arms.

"W-well, uh, that's my heart, dude! Y'know, it keeps me alive!"

At some point a red flush had spread along Sans's cheeks, matching the one currently warming Angel's face. His pupils shuddered in his sockets, splitting into round white ovals that felt oddly sincere? Or maybe she was reading too much into it.

"but it's so—" he struggled to find the words. "small? that's so loud for something so fragile!"

"Welcome to the human experience, I guess...?"

"you just...make that sound?"

"....Yeah?"

Sans stared at her for a moment longer before he seemed to remember himself, lowering his head slightly as his pupils began to dim back to grey. Hesitance peppered his voice as he spoke again.

"uh. can i, um." He paused. "actually, nevermind, i'll just—"

"You wanna lay and listen to it but you don't know how to ask without sounding like a creep?"

Sans deflated a little, shooting her a particularly resigned sort of look. Haha, gottem.

"...yeah."

"Okay. Come on."

Angel reached over and gathering him slightly, shuffling awkwardly to get both her legs on the couch. In a moment, she'd patted his skull right back down against her chest. He went down with more hesitance now, but soon was nothing more than a warm, heavy pile of bones on her person, both hands keeping a tight grip on her waist like she was going anywhere.

Sans dozed, soon relaxing into a real sleep, lulled by the steady sound of her heart. That pulse—the consistent thumping that thrummed through his skull—was just an easy, grounding reminder that she was alive and present with him. Soothing in a way he'd never be able to explain.

She didn't know why he seemed to like the sound of her heartbeat so much. He wouldn't explain it to her.

[fallen-gravity]

some thoughts on the moana 2 novelization, as threatened promised <3 under a readmore for spoilers and also because I don't trust myself to keep it short

(friendly reminder that I do not ship Maui and Moana! you can rb, but don't be weird about it)

Genuinely right off the bat I can't get over how loving Moana is described to be? She just loves others so much. She always describes Pua and HeiHei as her friends rather than her pets because of how much she cares about them!! it's so stupid cute that not only does she refer to Pua as her "loyal, adorable friend", but it's also implied that she handmade the little satchel he likes to ride in just for him. It eats me up inside!! She cares so much!!

The center island she's looking for is spelled as Motufetū!! I always love getting confirmation for these things, it makes things so much easier as a fic writer.

One of the souveniers she takes back with her alongside the broken pottery is a "massive clam". hello???? foreshadowing??? did everyone know about the giant clam guardian??

"For a man who had once forbidden her from going beyond the reef, he now spent quite a lot of time beyond it himself." AUUWHAAHHH THAT LINE KILLED ME WE LOVE TO SEE GROWTH FROM TRAUMA

"He loved her enthusiasm, but she seemed overexcited, and she was still his daughter, and he wanted to take care of her" MOANA!!! IS!!! SO LOVED!!!!

Loto's tool is called an adze! also she's apparently only 17?? two years younger than Moana?? not at all what I would've pegged her as, honestly

The storytelling tapestries are called siapos!!! more terminology!!!

"Her eyes darted to the image of Maui carved into the wall. She hadn't seen him since her return to Motunui, and she missed him. Not that she would admit it out loud" STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU

"Humans, were in fact, why he was here now, in this unknown realm of the gods looking at the pinkish white ball in front of him. At least, he thought that might be why he's here. These missions to benefit humans didn't always come with clear instructions" immediately followed by thinking about the trip to Te Fiti with Moana. What a dumbass <3 "I'm doing it for them and I don't know why? totally unrelated note haha that trip to Te Fiti with Moana was fun :)"

Never saw any of that journey coming, never could brute force his way through it, worth every second. Only considers getting the hook back as an afterthougt, ougghhhhhhh

Homeboy sucks at pretending that he doesn't care about Moana. He's talking to Matangi for all of two seconds and he's all "I'm a changed person! For um. no particular reason! It was definitely because of the thousand year isolation and nothing else whatsoever!"

There's no finite explanation for why Maui's there, but he credits Moana for making him a better person for being the reason. Something about breaking the curse? It's never made clear, even in the book.

Mini Maui selling him out for bullshitting about hating Moana is even funnier in the book, like Maui goes "yeah lol that girl was just a tool I uused to get my hook back" and Mini Maui starts pounding on him. Homeboy Moana can't even hear you and you're still mad at Maui for bullshitting, it kills me. Maui tries shooting him down. "Mini Maui wasn't convinced" has me in stitches

Maui's internal dialogue shifting to "oh wait, yeah, I wanted to surprise her with a visit. Oops." while he's tied up also has me in stitches. ffs, maui, get your priorities straight

"He refused to let Moana be hurt or threatened" I am on the floor

Every time Tui calls Moana "my dear" it adds ten years to my lifespan

The siapo of Maui in the storytelling fale is so lifelike that "it's as if he were about to jump off the fabric at any moment and start teasing her." that's so stupid cute!!!! also so stupid sad that she probably talks to it a lot hoping that it'll work someday. ough.

"Maui was having a bad day. Actually, he was having a lot of bad days"." feels like it was pulled right from a fic I would've written in 2018, I'm screaming

"I don't need her to save me...again" swallowing the earth as we speak

Curly still being the default nickname is also taking me out I need to be given financial compensation asap

There's a parallel that got lost in translation from page to movie, there's the bit where Moana's like "I'm sure Maui's off doing important demigod stuff, wherever he is", but there's also a bit of internal monologue where Maui's like "I hope Moana's faring better than I am, wherever she is" I'm gonna conk their heads together y'all need to communicate

The book directly mentions Moana and her crew passing Te Fiti. Did I miss that from the movie? Did they show Te Fiti, or is this a book-exclusive detail?

Their little Kakamora buddy has a name!! Kotu we don't deserve you. Also he's the Chief Kakamora's son! I just thought he was second in command. That's a whole baby

Maui knows who Pua is, somehow! He sees Pua waddling around and his first thought is "okay, this is weird, why do these people have Moana's pig with them?". Doesn't even remotely click that she could be with them. He's actually about to leave until HeiHei shows face and boy is he absolutely mortified. It eats me up inside. Instant shift of "goodbyeeeeee random humans I don't liiiike!!!" to oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, where is she????

Incredibly suspicious that Moana is the human that has all the gods talking. Something too about Maui having to force himself not to care about her. Did someone do a little too much bragging about his favorite human?

"I thought you'd be...more." okay a) I def think Maui's been overhyping her and b) haha More callback we love to see it

Also, Matangi's just a demigoddess! Not a goddess at all. interesting, interesting, interesting

Moana also sucks at priorities, one single mention of Maui and she instantly shifts to oh, oh my god, is he here? is he nearby? where is he?

Moana recognizes the Portal of the Gods as similar to the entrance to Lalotai...does that mean Lalotai is connected to the Realm of the Gods, in some way? are they the same place under a different name? also all :') that the dance she does to open the portal is specifically meant to be a copy of the haka that Maui did in the first movie.

You know, I think you need her just as much as she needs you. WHAT DOES IT MEAAAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM???? YOU NEED EACH OTHER??? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW?? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW????

The first thing Moana does when she's back on her canoe is look for Maui because she thinks he's gone 🥹 wants to go back and look for him until she realizes he's the reason she's dangling in the air. Did he stop her from falling off the canoe? ough, I'm deceased

I can't get over Moana assuming he just wants to catch up, they are both such chronic babblers.

"His expression was both happy and annoyed." I'm losing my shit.

"But yeah, it is good to see you again" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹.

"The fire in the sky lead us to you" can we stop with the written in the stars stuff. can we stop. my poor heart can't take it. platonic soulmates fr. "maybe we're supposed to do this together." THE GODS KNOW!!!! THEY KNOW!!!

"Maui bit back a smile." kill me. kill me. i'm dead on the spot. kill me.

Ohhhhh, I always love seeing what they do in place of the songs and the replacement for "Can I Get a Chee-Hoo?" kills me most of all, I think. Maui still goes to sit with her, but when Moana starts talking about all the people she's gonna let down, he comes to a screeching halt when she mentions Simea.

"If anyone should be upset, it should be me. Since when do you have a sister?"

"You would've met her, if you ever came to visit me." OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!!! She's trying to tease him but there's a tinge of hurt in her voice, like she feels like he doesn't care enough about her to take the time for her!! You need her as much as she needs you!!!!!

"Three years is a blip to me, princess," says the liar who thought about her on a near-daily basis!!!!

"Empathy wasn't Maui's strong suit. But he seemed to be trying- for her. and that dulled the pain a little" i am in my grave. i am in my grave.

"Why are you even here?" -> "Because...because I've been low before, and I couldn't see my path. And someone came along who I underestimated and she lifted me up. Someone I don't want to underestimate herself right now." THROWING UP!!!!!

"Wow, you're the worst at this." -> "Maui pretended to look offended" conking their heads together as we speak they are so SWEET!!!!!

Maui giving her all the credit for being the one to defeat Nalo!!! not himself!!!! her!!!!!!!

"Maui said he was better for knowing her. That had to count for something" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

It still destroys me that Maui's entire priority is keeping Moana safe!!! He's not just diving in to fight, he keeps going back to make sure they're all safe!!! that's all that matters to him!!!

God their little exchanges are so stupid they're killing me. "Nalo doesn't care about you!" "Yes he does! I'm Maui!!" "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" dumbasses <3

oooh he really doesn't want to separate, his eyes keep going back and forth between Moana and the monster storm :')

Okay. okay. okay. listen. there's a lot more to Maui's goodbye in the book than in the movie. In the book it's an apology. It's a rushed explanation on why he hadn't gone back to visit her prior. He lied about not having the time for her. All his time has been about and for her.

The reason I didn't visit...was 'cause you made me want to be better. You deserve the whole ocean...I wanted you to have it. Watch yourself out there. I could pull up millions of islands, but if you're not there to land on them, what's the point?

FOR!!!! HER!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!! IS!!!!! FOR!!!!! HER!!!!!

He hated leaving Moana and her crew behind,

He trusted her.

God, coud you imagine? First movie Maui, getting his hook destroyed? Those three words hold more power than anything. He trusted her. If anyone can do this it's her. He trusts her. He trusts her.

His thoughts kept drifting back to Moana. Nothing else matters!!! He could be all full of himself and think about how heroic he's being for The Humans (other) and all he's thinking about is his Favorite Human.

The thought of failing her pushed on him as the weight of the water grew heavy.

WHO WROTE THIS!!!! WHO READ OUR FANFICS!!!!! WHO KNEW!!!!!

His tattoos glowing with the power of the gods the first time he tries lifting Motufetū.....were there other gods that were helping him? are there gods who know?? Te Fiti if you're out there,,,,,,,,,

Moana rushing to protect Maui when lightning barely misses him the first time is.........destroying me?? taking me out??? imagine being protective over a demigod literally pulling an island out of the sea. imagine trying to take many hits for him. using her conch shell to call out to the storm to hit her instead? Maui yelling at her to Not do that? probably because it's breaking his own heart to watch?? ough.

"It went against every instinct, but Moana knew she had to listen to him." THAT'S ALSO GROWTH!!! KEEPING THEM BOTH SAFE BY NOT PUSHING HERSELF FROWARD!!!! GROWTH!!!!!

Maui getting hit by three strikes of lightning, and he uses what he thinks are his last dying moments to say goodbye to Moana. He locks eyes with her, gives her a sad smile, and yells Find your way, kid. Just to her. Just loud enough that she's the only one who can hear. and oh boy is this book brutal about that fourth and "fatal" lightning strike. It's strong enough to fry him. It launches him up so high in the air that Moana can't even see him

So, uh...fun fact! The reason Moana doesn't instantly dive in the water to go after him is because she thinks she's too late and that he's dead on impact. She doesn't even see him hit the water.

"Moana gasped as she felt her necklace pop open and her shell- Simea's shell- toppled out. Frantically,she reached for it, ignoring the danger around her. She couldn't lose that shell. She had already lost so much."

She thinks of everyone she loves when she's about to dive into the water and reach for Motufetū herself and Maui's among them right alongside her family. God. If there were ever a more indirect found family confirmation............

Lightning flashed, illuminating the sky and filtering through the water. Moana hoped that her crew was okay. That Maui had somehow survived. RIGHT!!! FROM!!!! THE FICS!!!! I SWEAR THIS IS PULLED RIGHT FROM THE OLD FICS!!!

His hook was missing, but he didn't care. He dove in after Moana. Hi, yes, 2018-era me is screaming out from inside me. She's clawing her way out of my chest. This is everything she's ever needed.

Fun fact part two! I don't remember how it was in the movie, but Maui watches Moana die too!! I think in the movie he just sees her still body on the surface of Motufetū, but in the book he dives under the water just a moment sooner and helplessly watches the lightning strike through her body. He watches her go still and sink towards the ocean floor :) Now they both have the trauma of watching each other die! :) :)

He tries desperately to catch her before she hits the floor but there are multiple instances of him being knocked back by a shockwave :') The gods sure have found his weakness!!!

He pushed through it. Nothing was stopping him from reaching Moana.

The grieving!!! The grieving is so fierce!!

Isn't it fun?? He practically has a burial ceremony for her! He catches her before her body hits the floor, and he places her gently on the surface of the island so she can fulfill her story! God! I'm unwell! He places Simea's little shell next to her body so Moana can be close to her sister one final time!

Then, kneeling next to her, he put his hand to his heart. It rested on the tattoo of Moana that had appeared after their last adventure. It had been his constant reminder in the three years since how strong a human could be. 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

It's just...he doesn't even realize the ocean is creating a dome around them! He's that grief-striken!!

The ocean knows them. It knows what they need. He calls it Moana's. Moana's ocean. aUGGHHHHHH.

Hey so all of that talk about Maui not allowing himself to let the gods know that Moana's his friend and then he's begging them. He's begging the gods and her (her? his? huamnity in general?) ancestors to save her because she deserves more than this. she deserves better. If any of the gods knew nothing of the two of them they sure as hell did now, ohhhhhh boy is that gonna screw him over later :')

So the book never explicitly states she's a demigoddess either! It very ominously states that She'll never be the same.

Moana gets to see her ancestors this time! I can't remember if she woke up before they disappeared in the movie, but when she wakes up her thought process goes wait, where am I? to oh, shit, MAUI?!?!? to TAUTAI VASA? TALA?? HELLO??? someone please invent therapy already she's gonna need it pretty desperately

god imagine if she thought maui was also dead?? she doesn't but ohhhh. ohhhhhh the angst potential of her thinking they're all there to see her off. god.

Shock and awe. That's all Moana can get out of Maui's expression when she catches him staring.

Mini Maui, the more accurate voice, is bawling his little eyes out when he sees that Moana's okay

Moana understands the implications instantly. and she knows that she's only alive now because Maui prayed for her

"Arching an eyebrow, she nodded over her shoulder. It was time they raised an island- togehter". SICK!!! TO!!! MY!!! STOMACH!!!

"She saw Maui, a familiar comfort in this uncharted territory" [AGGRESIVE TABLE SLAMMING] THAT'S FOUND FAMILY BAYBEEEEE

:') there's a big group hug with Moana's crew and Maui tries to wiggle his way to the center. That's almost shot for shot a scene from one of the first Moana fics I ever wrote back in December of 2017 :') turning into a little lizard and skittering into the center of the hug where Moana is because he wants a proper hug too :')

Okay so I definitely know for sure that when it says the villagers of Motunui are shocked Maui's there because they've heard so many stories about him that it's just the regular old legacy stories. but listen. let me be deluisional. it's because Moana always tells stories and Moana's like. known around the island as his best friend. so it's like!!! oh!!! there he is!!! Tautai Moana's best friend!!!! :')

He calls Simea Mini Moana!!!! weeping and sobbing

Simea's big brown eyes familiar. He Also calls Simea tugging on his ear Very Familiar. That's so stupid cute. I wonder if he ever visited when Moana was out voyaging and he ran into Simea if he'd be able to tell that she was her little sister? :') also hilarious because I'm sure it implies Moana told him Simea wanted to yell at him and he went "yeah okay that's fair"

(still lowkey sad Maui never gets included in the family hugs. Ohhhh if they ever found out what he did to save her they'd pull him straight in for sure)

MAUI STAYS!!! CONFIRMATION THAT HE STAYS!!!!

He stays long enough for things to calm down. He and Moana head out by themselves to help their little Kakamora buddy reunite with his family (cough cough)

Moana goes from "that kid" to his "dear friend." cherished. beloved. it's not even relelvant to the plot. He just smiles at her and goes "where to now?" and it's just. that's his dear friend!!! god!!!! so beloved!!! that feels like it holds even more weight than best friend!!!

god. god. I really gotta write a fic where they talk about watching each other die

good shit!!! gooood shit!!! I'm gonna be screaming about this forever. god.

[liberty-barnes]

to the girls made of glass

Arthur Leclerc x Female!Reader

Part 2 to you will not always want to shatter

Summary: The next day. (In hindsight, he doesn't know why he told his family anything) 

Warnings: mostly fluff but also this turned out sadder than i expected it to? but happy ending dw, lorenzo has eldest child syndrome, mentions of masculinity and its expectations in our patriarchal world, mentions of the media being dicks (specifically about a child being born out of wedlock)

Word Count: 2.5k words + however many are in the texts

Estimated Reading Time: 16 minutes

A/N: i don't know how but i ended up making a part two so. enjoy, i suppose! don't forget to add yourself to my taglist if you wanna be notified in the future <3

the purse mentioned in this fic is the Multitaker Bag in Blush by Poppy and Peonies aka my dream bag (and the essentials is indeed all of my essentials...might have a problem)

Title from Shelby Leigh's book girl made of glass

Masterlists | Formula One RI Masterlist | Taglist

Arthur took a deep breath, shaking his hands at his side, trying to shake off his nervousness as well. 

07:58.

He rang the doorbell.

There was some shuffling on the other side of the door before it opened and he was face to face with her again.

(Y/n).

“Hi, love, come on in, I’ve just gotta get my purse, which is… somewhere, surely.”

Embarrassingly, he was frozen in place. 

“Arthur?”

“You look really pretty.”

He could feel his cheeks heat up as soon as those words made it out of his mouth. That was supposed to be an inside thought. Was it too much to ask for the ground to swallow him whole?

She smiled at him, eyes going all soft and shiny and… wow. Just wow.

“You’re cute.”

She grabbed the front of his sweater and dragged him inside. He really should try to care more about her manhandling him. Surely, normal people would feel disgruntled by it, right?

Meh, who cares? Not him.

A loud skidding sound made him snap his head to the ground, right before Circe collided with his shins.

“Oh, hello there.”

She made a sound which he could only described as an impatient scream, rubbing herself all over every part of him she could reach, stretching her paws as high as they could go. He crouched down to pet her, although frankly, it felt a lot more like she was the one headbutting his hand hard enough that he feared there would be bruises.

“Yeah, fun fact, she’s actually an absolute menace and she missed you a lot. She tends to scream if we don’t immediately give her attention.”

He frowned.

“But she was so calm yesterday.”

(Y/n) only cackled loudly, clipping on her earrings. 

“Yeah, cause she was on her absolute best behaviour until she was sure you were infatuated with her. That’s gone out the window now, I’m afraid.”

She looked around her, huffing loudly.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, where did I put that damned purse? I swear my things always decide to disappear the moment I need them.”

Arthur looked up from Circe’s very soft fur to where (Y/n) was standing right in front of him, hands on her hips.

Huh. Nice view.

Shut up, Arthur.

“What does it look like? I’ll help you find it.”

“It’s a blush pink bag from Poppy and Peonies, it’s got black edges, and creases on the sides from the amount of times I’ve managed to overload it.”

He nodded and got up, moving along with her while looking for the bag. There was a bag on her kitchen counter. Pink. black edges. Creases on the sides. “Um, is this… is this the bag?”

He pointed at it, and (Y/n) looked up from her spot near the couch in the living room.

“Yes! You found it! Thank you so much, angel, can you bring it to me?”

He lifted it up, surprised at the weight of it. She walked over and took it from him effortlessly.

“Um… Are you sure you’re gonna need all that?”

She nodded, putting on her shoes.

“Of course, it’s only the essentials.”

He blinked at her. His essentials were his phone, wallet, and keys. Those fit in his pockets.

“Essentials?”

“Yeah, you know. Phone, keys, wallet–”

Okay, so, much the same.

“A small first aid kit, small water bottle, chapstick–”

That was understandable.

“Phone charger, a bag of period essentials, pen, tiny notepad, chewing gum–”

Right, it was starting to sound like a bit much for a trip to the bakery.

“Makeup wipes, tissues, hard candies for if my sugar drops, a pill organiser with all the tablets needed in case of an emergency, headphones–”

She was still going?

“Sunglasses, mirror, portable toothbrush and paste, tiny makeup bag with my essentials, mini deodorant, mini perfume, mini hand lotion, mini sunscreen–”

Arthur didn’t even know so many miniatures existed.

“Nail file, fidget toy, and a Swiss army knife. The essentials.”

Arthur thought back to his mother and the giant purse she carried everywhere. And how Charlotte and Alexandra always had an extra ‘big’ purse that they left in the car when going out in addition to their ‘small’ purse that they took outside with them. Wisely, he decided it was best not to comment.

“Makes sense.”

The smile he got in return was definitely worth his silence.

“Alright, let’s go then.”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the flat, leaving a disgruntled Circe behind.

He couldn’t find it in himself to do anything but smile about it.

—

The bakery was really nice. (Y/n) ordered a hot chocolate, despite the weather being nowhere near cold enough to warrant it. They sat outside, on a little two-person couch, facing the water.

It was nice. Peaceful. Comfortable.

He brought the cappuccino he ordered to his mouth.

“So, what did you tell your family about me?”

His guardian angel must have been watching over him because he narrowly avoided choking on his sip of coffee.

He looked at her, wide-eyed.

“How did you know I told my family about you?”

She smirked mischievously and he felt a chill go down his spine.

“I didn’t.”

He blinked at her.

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I expected you to. So, what did they say?”

She ‘expected him to’? 

Maybe his mom and sisters-in-law were right when they said she knew how pathetic he was.

“Well, Lorenzo’s convinced you’re secretly an axe murderer.”

She laughed loudly, eyes crinkling shut.

“Fortunately, he’s alone in that thought. Everyone else was just happy I met someone…”

He hesitated, deciding to keep the rest to himself, but something must have shown on his face because she suddenly turned to him.

“There’s something else.”

He avoided her eyes.

“Come on then, out with it. There’s nothing you can say that I’ll take offence to.”

“Well, um… They just said that uh… They kinda… forgot? That your dad had an older daughter. Since you didn’t go to races a lot, but your siblings showed up every now and then when Kimi was still racing.”

It felt awkward to say. Uncomfortable. But she surprised him yet again by not appearing the slightest bit offended, only smiling in a bittersweet way.

“Yeah. Dad learned early on that it was safer for me to stay out of the public eye. I went to races almost all the time, actually, people just never saw me cause I stayed out of the way.”

“But your siblings–”

“Were born of a happy, loving marriage. Whenever they’re mentioned, the media just focuses on how well-raised they are, and how sweet it is to see them support their father. As for me… It didn’t quite work the same way. Whenever people were reminded of my existence, they just wanted to see how bad of a fuck-up Kimi Räikkönen’s bastard daughter would grow up to be. Dad didn’t want people talking about me that way, so he made sure they never talked about me at all.”

She stared out at the horizon, only a small hint of sadness present in her voice.

“That must have been hard.”

She pursed her lips.

“It was, at first. It took me a while to understand why I couldn’t be in the garage with everyone else, watching the race, hugging him for good luck before he went out. But the older I got, the more I came to appreciate it. Even though he couldn’t show it to the world, I never doubted that Dad loved me. I didn’t get to be my father’s daughter in the way my siblings do, but I got to be myself in a way they likely never will. I got to grow up without cameras in my face, without people gasping whenever they heard my name. I could go out with my friends and make mistakes without fear of the consequences. I got to choose what I wanted to do with my life without the general public’s opinions clouding my judgment. That’s a luxury people like me don’t often get.”

He couldn’t help but imagine a little (Y/n) in the Ferrari garage, wanting to wish her Dad good luck but being unable to because of the cameras around.

“You’re very strong, you know? I don’t know if I could be as understanding about it if I’d been in your shoes.”

She shrugged.

“It is what it is. No point in crying about it.”

She looked back at him with an easy smile on her face.

“What about now, though? Do you still have to hide?”

She tilted her head to the side.

“I mean, I don’t have to, I just don’t have a reason to change. The media would probably focus on all the wrong things in my life, only thing they’d care about is that I don’t have a job that makes money.”

“How so?”

“I got a Bachelor’s in business and comp sci, but I never wanted to just work for a greedy capitalistic company. It’s just not me. I’m lucky that my dad has more than enough money to provide for our family for generations to come, so I wanted to give back, in a way. I work as a web manager for a few charities around the globe, all non-profit, and do a ton of volunteering in my free time. But that means that my only source of income is my trust fund and the money my dad sends me.”

He looked at her with barely concealed awe in his eyes.

“(Y/n), fuck… That’s amazing, that you’re doing all this.”

She shrugged.

“I like it. And Dad supports me wholeheartedly. But if the media knew–”

“They would just paint you as another spoiled nepo baby who refuses to get a job.”

“Exactly.”

He felt–

Honestly, he couldn’t fully describe what he felt. Anger. Sadness. Righteous fury. The sudden and overwhelming urge to wrap himself around her like an octopus and shield her from the media’s eyes.

“Are you done with your drink and food?”

He blinked at her.

“Um… Yes?”

She smiled mischievously again, like the previous conversation had never happened.

“Good. Because we have reservations in thirty minutes.”

“Wait, what?”

“What is this place?”

He looked around in wonder. Everything was so colourful, so big. He could practically feel his body buzzing with energy.

“Trampoline park. Usually it’s full of people, but on a Tuesday at half nine in the morning? I’d be surprised if we weren’t the only ones here.”

She walked over to the reception desk, leaving Arthur to look around in wonder. There was a foam pit, rope ladders, and was that a climbing wall?

“Come on, pretty boy, leave your stuff in the locker and take off your shoes, time to have some fun.”

He felt his cheeks heat up at the nickname. He practically tripped over himself to get ready.

“Off we go.”

She took his hand and started to run in the direction of the trampolines.

He looked at the smile on her face and had the sudden thought that, so as long as she kept smiling at him like that, he’d follow her to hell and back.

—-—

Arthur was asleep on her couch. After two hours spent at the trampoline park and a hearty meal of lasagna and steamed broccoli, he seemed to have fallen into a coma, head pillowed on her thighs and arms hugging Circe to his chest.

She ran her fingers through his scalp absentmindedly. She’d changed the channel as soon as he’d fallen asleep, continuing her rewatch of Bones. There was no work to be done today, so she could afford to relax.

Her eyes were starting to get heavy when her phone beeped with a notification.

By the time she put the phone down and looked back at Arthur, he was awake and staring at her with sleep-filled eyes.

“Hey, baby boy. How you feeling?”

He hummed, nuzzling into her hand.

“Still tired?”

He nodded, eyes fluttering close when she hit a spot on his scalp that practically made him purr.

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

His voice sounded hoarse from sleep, but oh so adorable.

“Yeah, love?”

“Why do you do that?”

She furrowed her brows.

“Do what?”

It seemed to take an eternity for him to voice out what he was thinking.

“The nice things. You made me food, and paid for our breakfast, and you drove and opened the door for me. Why?”

She shrugged minutely.

“I don’t know. I guess I just enjoy taking care of you. Do you not like it?”

“No, I do!”

He looked like he was afraid she’d stop if he didn’t get the words out fast enough. To be honest, it was quite sweet.

“It feels nice…”

She traced the blush on his cheeks with the pads of her fingers, feeling her carefully guarded heart want to burst out of her chest and hand itself over to Arthur.

“Well, good. You deserve to be taken care of.”

He kept looking at her while she gently ran her fingers all over his face, feather-light, tracing constellations in the barely-there freckles.

“I wanna date you. But I don’t think we should.”

She fought against her every instinct to bristle and lash out. It felt awfully familiar to be told she “shouldn’t” date someone. But what was it this time? Was it the money? The fame? The media?

Or was one day enough for Arthur to realise she was simply not good enough? 

That no matter how hard she tried, she was still nothing more than a bastard child, abandoned by her mother, abandoned by the world, never deserving of anything more than she was already lucky enough to have?

“If you date me you’ll be back in the public eye. People are gonna take pictures of us everywhere. And they’ll tear you apart just for being with me. But you’ve worked too hard to create a safe life. I’m not worth you giving that up.”

She locked eyes with him.

“You should not be trusted to make decisions if you’re gonna be self-deprecating about them.”

“It’s true though, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” she ran her thumbs under the dark circles that still stained his eyes. “But shouldn’t that be my choice to make?”

“You’re too good for me anyway.”

She laughed ruefully, heart starting to beat a bit faster.

“Many people would disagree.”

“Many people would be wrong.”

“I disagree.”

“Then you’re wrong.”

He said it with such conviction, such absolute certainty, like he was shattering years upon years of her feelings of inadequacy.

“Where did you even come from?”

He blinked innocently up at her.

“My mother’s vagina.”

She pushed him off the couch.

translations for the finnish (which i got off google so pls forgive any mistakes)

I love you, dad

I love you too, snowflake

tadaaa! hope you guys enjoyed that! before you ask, no, i do not have any plans to make a part 3 to this for two reasons: first is because idk what i would write, and second is because the quote that these fics were named after (to the girls made of glass / you will not always want to shatter) was a two-part one and i don't know what i'd name the third. so it will stay as a duology.

Don't forgot to comment and reblog, asks and DMs are always open!

-Love, Miah <3

For the people that wanted part 2:

@aykxz98 @camelliaflow3r @sarah-thatstings-ann @sinofwriting @mountainshuman

[lohotine]

*falls through your celling again*

I know you already did jealous shadow milk BUT I OFFER YOU THIS

Yandere shadow milk pls

Could be just hcs or sthm idc I JUST LOVE TUMBLRS DIFFERENT TAKES ON IT HCJDHDJFHF

AN: Yanderes <3 and I think this is before he got sealed, but after the corruption. (ALSO MY CEILING! FIRST MY DOOR, NOW THIS-)

Also, I'm def gonna make another one of these yan fics, just wait guys ♡

Yan! Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader

Oneshot (headcanons below)

Warnings: possessiveness, Manipulation, guilt tripping, toxic relationship, mentions of murder

-Only Me-

If only you could rewind time.

Back to the time where your lover wasn't crazy. Where he didn't have this unquenchable bloodlust, and where he didn't obsess over you.

The attention was nice at first, but it's long since become suffocating.

When will he finally let you breathe again?

Probably never. You'll die before he does, so this is probably going to go on until the day of your death.

What'll happen when you die? How will he handle it?

He can barely handle you leaving him for over an hour. There's no way he can handle you leaving forever, and to a place that, for once in his life, is unreachable to him.

He may still be alive after that, but maybe he'll finally stop 'living'.

He'll just exist.

"Dove, I'm back!" Called out an enthusiastic voice.

It would seem that Shadow Milk Cookie has finally returned.

You used to rejoice to the sound of his voice.

Where has all of the joy gone?

"Welcome back," you responded.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and placed a palm on your cheek, gazing with admiration towards your features.

"Oh dove, you truely are the only good in this rotten world~" He left a kiss on your forehead before returning to admiring you silently.

It would have felt nice.

This should have felt nice.

But it didn't.

"Um, I've been thinking about something, actually.." You'd bring up nervously.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I can maybe... leave this tower? Only for a little while?"

...

A silence filled the room before Shadow Milk Cookie started to snicker.

"Oh doll, you can't be serious! Why would you ever want to leave this place?" He gave you a condescending smile, hoping to feign even the slightest bit of ignorance or innocence.

"I've just been here for a long time. That's all.." You'd say.

"Don't be silly~ If you leave, then the outside world will destroy your perfect, delicate self. And you know I can't have my dolls breaking." He just kept staring at you with that sweet, sweet smile.

"But-"

"Oh, I get it. You're just leaving because you've gotten bored of me. Is that it?" His smile faded and was replaced with an uncaring glare.

"That's not what I meant.."

"You're so selfish, you know? I give you a nice place away from all of the chaos to keep you safe, I'm constantly giving you my attention, and now you want to leave me." He let go of you and looked away, a scowl present on his face.

"I never said I wanted to leave you!"

"If you loved me, you'd stay here with me, and not put up a fight about wanting to leave."

So that's how it is...

Such a shame that he could get you to obey him so easily.

Leading you on with your own love.

"Sorry, I won't ask about it again..." you looked towards the ground, a guilt seeping into your heart, even though none of this was really your fault.

"Say you love me, and only me."

...

"I love only you."

He placed a finger under your chin and made you look up to him.

The smile he always held was back, as if it never disappeared in the first place.

"Yep! Only me!"

《☆》 Fin

Headcanons

Obsessed.

That's really the only word to describe him

Burns down towns and kills people 'in your name'.

You've hinted that you don't appreciate the actions

He never gets the hint, and if he does, he ignores them

Uses your love for him against you

Guilt trips you into agreeing with him a lot of the time

Has come home covered in blood numerous times

Acts like it's insignificant

Loves seeing you cry

He thinks it's cute, but he'll still 'comfort' you in way

Will wipe his bloodied hands on your face and whisk your tears away

Holds you close to him, even when he's the problem

Never gives you space

Sometimes you wish for the old him

You told him about it and he just laughed

Talks to everyone about you, but if they say your name, he kills them instantly

Thinks your name doesn't deserve to be spoken by people like them

If you ever died he'd probably lose it

You're his lifeline

It's... really not healthy.

[aebinspa]

tell me somethin' i don't know

PAIRING: gunwook x y/n reader

GENRES: fluff, gunwook is your brother's best friend (of course gyuvin is your brother), reader is a bit shy, they are the same age, reader is bad at math and gunwook is actually the solution to her problems!

WORD COUNT: 0.6k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! i wrote this very short part about gunwook on the train and it will be the last thing i post for a while! i have already started to use my time to write a medium-length fic about karina that i hope will be better than the others i have written :) have a nice day!

The room of Gunwook, your brother's best friend, was strangely clean. Even after looking for several minutes in every corner, to then accuse him of something, you couldn’t find anything. The room was small but welcoming and on one side there was the enormous desk, with the books you would need for revision.

Sure, you didn’t hate Gunwook, but finding yourself suddenly, from one day to the next, at the house of one of Gyuvin’s most popular friends wasn’t exactly relaxing. Your brother Gyuvin certainly had everything a woman or a man could be interested in, but once you got to know him you couldn’t help but notice that he was missing something: a bit of tact.

“Y/n, you’re already here, ah” Gunwook, surprised, entered the room and closed the door behind him. Gunwook was popular, too popular for your tastes. You were the same age, you attended the same school but not the same section. The desperate sighs and screams you heard when you passed in front of his classroom, always surrounded by fans, made you turn on your heels every time.

If you had to describe your relationship with him, perhaps you would have reduced it to those greetings you sometimes exchanged when your eyes met. Nothing more. Except for one small detail: you too, like many others, found him extremely attractive and, on several occasions, he had shown you that he was kinder than Gyuvin’s other friends.

“Mathematics doesn't really get into your head, does it?” a bright smile almost made you regret not being very good with numbers. “Yeah. And Gyuvin decided to make my problem your problem, too,” you said, emphasizing the “your,” and the young man laughed. “We’ll show Gyuvin that the two of us are better than two Gyuvins.” This time it was you who laughed. “We are, without a doubt.”

Gunwook spent the next three hours explaining to you in detail everything you didn’t understand and, when necessary, he stopped to let you take a break. Sometimes your hands would touch and your breathing would synchronize; you tried desperately not to make it obvious that you weren’t indifferent to that closeness. Once you finished reviewing all the notes you had brought with you, you thanked Gunwook with a weak “thank you” to which he responded with a huge smile full of warmth.

“Well, Gyuvin didn't do anything wrong in calling me to help you.” “Sometimes he knows how to make himself useful!” you replied a little too enthusiastically, immediately ending up embarrassed by your own words. “Y/n, whenever you want, I’m always willing to give you a hand” “You don’t have to” You accidentally met your gaze in the nearby mirror and noticed the redness on your cheeks. What an idiot I am.

“Let me put it this way.” Gunwook settled back in his chair and took your hands in his, causing you to yelp a little, to which the boy responded by tilting his head and laughing, whispering “How stupid you are.” “Um, tell me.” “Next time, let’s go to a nice coffee shop to study or the library. Anywhere you like. I have an overwhelming urge to take you out on a date.” Your head was spinning a little, so you held his hands tighter as if seeking support.

“Maybe you got the wrong girl” That toothy smile didn't seem to leave Gunwook's face. “I don’t think that’s possible. I, well,” Gunwook ran his hand through his hair, “I need to get to know you better. Every time I talk to you or simply look at you my heart does flips. I don't know how I got through today's lesson without kissing or touching you."

"Oh, okay" “Is it a yes, Y/n?” Gunwook was now closer than expected. “Yes, I feel the same so how could I say no to you?” You were the same color as a tomato. Gunwook came closer and closed the distance between you by giving you a chaste and sweet kiss. You responded with a huff.

“You’re good with women” “Tell me something I don’t know, Y/n”

[wabatle]

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ 0X1=LOVESONG - Ft. Satan

❣ 3rd fic!! nothing happens you and Satan just talk (and kiss) <3 ❣ warnings: closeness and touching if that counts...

“You know, I think about you every time I’m alone. Whenever you're not near me, I miss you.”

“Really?” You took your head out of the crook of Satan’s neck. “That's crazy, because I do that too.”

He laughed softly. “Yeah? We're such a pair.”

“Right?” You smiled, sitting up. He followed shortly after. “That reminds me,” you grabbed a bag from under the bed, “here. Remember how I told you you were banned from buying books for a while?”

He took the bag. “Yeah?”

“That was so I could actually get you something you didn't have. I bought a couple, but they were super expensive, so you better like them.”

He took them out and examined them. “…Thank you. This is really nice of you.”

“I'm happy you're happy.” You smiled. “Can I kiss you?”

“You don't have to ask.” He gently kissed you, running a hand down your face as he did. “You can just do it.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“I got you something, too, but it's in my room. I'll get it later if that's okay with you.”

“That's fine.” You kissed him again.

“Oh, the things you do to me, my love…” He mused, running a hand through your hair.

“Hey, you said I didn't have to ask.”

“That's right.” He paused. “…You love me, right?”

“Um, yes? I would have just kissed you twice if I didn't.”

“...Say it. Say you love me.”

“I love you. I love you ‘till the end of the world.”

“I love you too. More than that. ‘Love’ doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you.”

“You're such a romantic.” You said, gently touching your foreheads together.

“Am I?” Satan asked, his hands trailing down your arms to find your hands. “I guess reading all those romance books paid off.”

He kissed you again.

“What kind of romance books did you read?”

“Any books I could see us in.”

You kissed him. “That's cute.”

“Oh, shut up.” He smiled, kissing you.

❣ thank you for reading! / sorry for the sudden ending I did not know how to send this bro… i love him though so I just wrote wtvr ❣ back to event masterlist

[charlottecutepie]

❥ Teacher’s pet (William Afton x fem!reader)

author note: reader is 18 here. this one shot is pretty long but writing it was very fun and interesting for me, but please read tags carefully, I didn’t put one which may be a big spoiler, but this fic contains sexual and dark themes. I wrote it when movie wasn’t out yet, so description of appearance might look like game!william, but as always, you can imagine him as how you like ;)

tags: dark, angst, reader and William are fucked up, jealousy, big age gap, cheating, smut with a plot, pervert!William (he’s actually disgusting man here), oral sex, vaginal sex, Michael Afton mentioned, inspired by Melanie Martinez “teachers pet”

Going to school has always been part of your entertainment. If someone went there for the sake of study, then you went there to have fun with your friends. From a young age, you didn't know what word "no" was, your parents raised you like a little princess, giving you everything you want. You went to one of the best schools in the state, and despite your bad behavior and frequent dirty tricks, you were never expelled because of your high status.

Of course, such a reputation brought a lot of trouble, many students saw that you didn't do anything in class, but still got good grades. Rumors began to spread quickly, but as soon as you started high school, you immediately found friends who were similar to you in character. But in high school, you also got a new experience and not the most rosy one. Smoking right in the school yard, skipping classes, food throwing in the cafeteria and arguing with teachers forced you to visit the principal's office every week. Your parents didn't approve of this behavior, and you, as an adult girl, had to deal with problems on your own.

"Have you seen our new physics teacher? He's so handsome!" Mia exclaimed in awe, holding your school bag while you were trying to find something in the school locker.

"Um, if you're talking about that old prick who sleeps in his own lectures.…"

For a girl like you, it might have been a pleasant surprise to know about a new teacher, but now it's not like that. After so many jokes and pranks that you've done with all the teachers at school, you've come to the only conclusion. All teachers are old bores.

"What? No, no, no!" another girl, Sofia, who was standing to your right, joined the conversation. "Don't you know professor Afton?"

You shook your head, trying to show that this topic is not interesting to you. Finally, you found an apple that was lying in a dusty corner. The girls, seeing that you had already brought it to your mouth, frowned in disgust.

"Shouldn't you wash it first?"

Your conversation continued about the mysterious new teacher, to whom you were indifferent. But girls insisted on their own and convinced you to go to class, saying you wouldn't regret it. Judging by the way they described William Afton, you expected to see a handsome, sexy, pleasant, seductive, elegant, gorgeous man. And what was your shock when you entered the classroom and saw an exact copy of their words.

The man was standing near the teacher's desk, holding a book in his hands. At first glance, he was about forty years old. Kind of aristocratic, with pale skin and dark brown hair, sharp features and a thin build, so damn tall. But the most magnificent were his eyes, silvery blue, the color of crystal clear lake water. Everything your friends said about him was absolutely true. He was the most perfect teacher you've ever seen, and you couldn't wait to get to know him better.

"Good afternoon, class, glad to see you all." your heart stopped when you heard his voice, it was low, a little smoky and at the same time rude, which corresponded to his appearance. William looked around at the students, stopping at you for a second, noting to himself that this was the first time you had come to his lesson.

Your parents would be shocked to learn that their daughter can sit quietly in class like a good girl, listening to a lecture about neutrons and protons. But no. Coming back to reality, you didn't give a damn about physics, and you only sat still because you were hypnotized by his voice.

"Don't tell me you've already fallen in love with him." Sofia, who was sitting on your right, muttered with a smirk on her face.

"He looks good." you answered, winking at her.

"I bet he's married…" suggested Mia, who was sitting in the back. She didn't take her eyes off the notebook in which she was diligently writing down everything William said.

"I see you're trying to give the impression of an obedient schoolgirl, huh?" you turned your whole body towards her, teasing her in your usual bitchy manner. The girl had already opened her mouth, ready to answer, but was interrupted by a loud cough.

The whole class fell silent, and you turned to face professor William, whose eyes were staring at you intently. He didn't say a word, but his face showed that he was unhappy with such behavior. You were already preparing for the worst outcome, thinking that he would make a remark, but he continued his lecture as if nothing had happened.

Propping your head on your hand, you continued to openly stare at him. Your curious eyes ran over his entire figure, assessing his clothes and how perfectly his black trousers fit him.

"What's your name?" a familiar voice awakened from the fantasy world, but this time it was heard much better, because its owner was standing right next to your desk. When you looked up, you saw professor Afton himself. You introduced yourself. "Are you chewing something?" the man's tone didn't sound like a question. "Chewing gum is prohibited in my class, please be respectful to me and others."

Looks like luck was on your side today if this man pays you so much attention, you thought, and spitting out the gum, barely holding back a grin, you glued it right under the desk.

"Well, I'm going to have to ask you to clean this up after class."

You got what you wanted. Sofia and Mia were the last to leave the classroom, making perverted jokes about you. Getting to know each other better promised to be interesting. You sacrificed your precious plans for today just to get to know this man a little better. But, to your great regret, nothing interesting happened. And what your friends were joking about didn't happen either. William's face was set in stone.

"Why haven't I seen you in my classes before?" he asked calmly. His cold and impassive demeanor was annoying. What kind of teacher is that? There must be some way to get him emotional.

"Because they're boring." if to play the bitch, then play to the fullest, you thought.

"You are wrong, exact sciences can be very interesting if they are taught correctly." he sighed, considering what to say next. "I'll let it slide for the first time, but I don't want it to happen again, okay?"

"If your teaching skills impress me, I will attend all your lessons." you spoke, glaring at him.

"I hope so." the man replied. The corners of his mouth turned up, and he looked back at the book. "Now put that gum away, please."

Oh, how long you've been waiting for him to say that. You knew that this boring book wouldn't be the only thing his eyes would be glued to. Getting up from your desk, you straightened your slightly rumpled miniskirt and turned your back on William. You bent over, your skirt indecently pulled up, exposing the elastic band of your stockings. You tried to keep a satisfied smile on your face, but you couldn't as you felt his studying gaze all over your body. Afton ran a hand through his hair, as if trying to restrain himself, reminding himself that he was at work. Gritting his teeth, he continued to watch you.

The minutes have turned into an eternity for both of you. When you finally unhooked the gum, you put it in a napkin and turned to William. And you knew that he saw everything. And he knew you knew.

���

From the day it happened, you decided not to tell your friends. You've been waiting for the time to come when you can shock them with something bigger. Physics became your favorite lesson, and until your parents couldn't recognise their beloved daughter, you continued to play on Mr. Afton's nerves.

William was strict, but he never raised his voice at the students. His tests always had forty questions, and the time given was too short, but you still tried to write them perfectly (although you knew physics terribly) to impress him. But why did he never give an excellent grade? You used cheat sheets, but even they didn't help, the result was the same. Afton left you after school to sort out mistakes. And it was boring as fuck, and every time you hoped that something would happen.

It's been two weeks since William Afton came into your life. Staying after class was just so boring, you decided to attract his attention with something else if the revealing outfits didn't work.

When he gave you another test with a million questions, you frowned to pretend you were thinking. Your seat was at the end of the class, so no one really saw you, and that played into your hands. When the time of the test was coming to an end, you took the sheet and gently touched it with your painted lips, leaving a mark from your dark red lipstick. This won't leave him indifferent for sure.

At break, no matter how fearless and brave you were, your heart was pounding as your cheeks were flushed. The scariest thing was waiting for his reaction. What if you forgot to sign the sheet and he'll think it's some other girl? But William Afton got to know you well even in such a short time. He'd have known whose sheet it was just by looking at the lip print. He's never had a girl who seduced him the way you did.

"For what purpose was this… done?"

Anxiety quickly turned to intrigue and curiosity as soon as you were back in the classroom. The plan worked.

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Do you think I don't notice your looks? The way you're acting is out of line. And this uniform you're wearing is definitely not a school one."

"Nevertheless, you like it."

William immediately shut up. His always serious face now shows another emotion that you haven't seen before. He furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes a little, as if he expected something else from you. You just stared at each other in silence.

Afton was standing very close. His body was tense. But despite the seriousness of the situation and what just came out of your mouth, you knew that this was your chance and you weren't going to miss it.

"Yeah. I like it." he had barely finished the sentence as you already reduced the distance between you to a minimum and rose on tiptoe to reach his lips and kissed him.

You felt his lips tremble in shock, but you continued. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he surrendered and deepened the kiss. At that moment, sanity was completely gone, leaving only the desire, the desire to touch him everywhere. You weren't sure if door was locked, which meant that at any moment someone could enter.

William Afton was a fucking sinner. He knew it would end like this. Any normal teacher would immediately send you to the principal or talk to your parents. Any, but not him. Animal desire ate him up from the inside when he imagined you on sleepless nights. From the day your eyes met, William knew who was going to be his favourite in class.

…

The wall clock showed 6 p.m., classes had long since ended. But not for you. Mr. Afton came into the class with a bottle of water, as soon as he saw you, the corners of his lips lifted.

"You're making progress in studying electromagnetic phenomena," he noted, putting the bottle on the table and sitting down on a chair. You smiled sweetly in response to the praise. "What can you say about electromagnetic induction? Who discovered it and when?" William knew you wouldn't answer, but he wanted to tease you a little anyway.

"Come on, you know that's not what we're both here for!" you said coquettishly, putting your elbows on the table and resting your head on your palms, you stared at him intently, batting your eyelashes.

"After all that has happened, it's worth dropping the formalities. Just call me William."

The pose in which you appeared in front of him gave the professor a full view of your cleavage. The first three buttons of the white shirt were undone. However, he didn't take any action, expecting you to do everything yourself. William was trying to keep his sanity because he knew how bad this game would turn out for you. Oh, how wrong he was.

"Would you like to take a closer look, Mr. Afton?" your voice is a little higher than usual. You knew where his eyes were looking. And he didn't hide it either.

"Just William." he repeated through his teeth.

"You're so fucking boring." a tired sigh from you. The click of heels was the only sound in the class. You stood between William and the table, maintaining eye contact the whole time. The atmosphere was heating up by the second. Warmth spread all over his body, and his cheeks turned little pinky. Your hand reached for the bottle, and the next second you started slowly spilling all liquid onto your chest. The wet shirt stuck to your body, exposing the contours of your nipples.

"Fuck, come here." William is tired of your cheap show. He could stand everything: perverted looks, short skirts, stupid coquetry, but seeing you so… so vulgar, doing whatever you want in his class, with a bottle that he bought, spilling his water on yourself, was damn infuriating. He lost the battle with himself, the desire took over, the need to fuck you right on this table, to teach you a real lesson. "You fucking want me, don't you? I can see how much you need my touch, how much you want me to fuck you. Little slut. You've been provoking me all this time, pretending to be an innocent angel, but here," William's hand reached for your already soaking wet shirt, roughly grabbing your breast. "that's who you are, that's your nature."

"Will you fuck me?" your question sounded more like a desperate plea.

"Show me what you're capable of, and then I'll think about it." now it was William's turn to smirk. When his hands left your breast, he majestically relaxed in the chair, legs apart. His open posture perfectly showed what was required of you.

Without wasting a minute, you fell to your knees with fire in your eyes, trying to please him. In response, a mocking laugh escaped his lips. When you felt his erection in your palm, you giggled. No matter what unflappable man he showed himself in class, he was different when he was alone with you. You felt special, because you were the only one of all the girls who turned him on. Or so you'd like to think.

You unbuckled his belt, jerkily pulling off his boxers down. His hard cock was dripping precum. To avoid distractions, you tucked your hair behind your ears, then wrapped your hand around his length, lazily moving it up and down.

"That's it, good girl, so eager." William murmured hoarsely, which made you raise your head to look at him. Wonderful. His brows were furrowed, eyes were closed, and his chest was rising and falling. Seeing him so weak was… unique, unusual, exciting even. But why, why William? No matter how many guys you've touched like that, none of them ever made you feel that way.

If he wanted to see what you're capable of, then it's time to demonstrate it. Brushing away unnecessary thoughts and at the same time mentally preparing yourself, you lightly licked his swollen tip, causing him to sigh deeply. It really boosted your ego, gave you even more confidence: to hear the sounds he makes, to feel his legs twitch. And you wanted more, so you tried to take him fully in your mouth, but you couldn't. He's a lot bigger than all your exes, so you started helping yourself with your hand, stroking the base of his dick.

William's hands grabbed at your hair, causing pain, but you continued. Although your efforts weren't enough for him and he began to move his hips, already fucking your mouth. He forced you to take his whole cock, his shaft went right down your throat, which made tears come to your eyes. You hit him lightly on the leg so he'd let you go as you felt like you were going to throw up any second.

After a while, you finally got a little used to his steady fast pace. Breathing through your nose, you continued to let him greedily fuck your mouth, but you felt that you were also terribly aroused by it. Your hand reached down in hope of rubbing yourself through your panties, but suddenly Afton abruptly pulled you away by your hair.

"And what are you doing, hm?" he asked in a husky voice, looking at your fucked out face. Oh, what a wonderful sight William saw, a real work of art. You with watery eyes, ruined makeup and drops of his cum mixed with your saliva on your lips and chin. You don't look so cocky anymore. And William is so damn pleased to see what he's turned you into. If he could, he would have taken a thousand photos and hung them all over his house walls. But sadly, wife and kids will not approve of this.

You gave him a clouded look without even hearing his question. Your brain was turned off, there was only one goal set — to satisfy him, and you were going to achieve it, no matter what. After taking in enough air and still not reacting to him, you took his cock in your mouth again, diligently moving your head up and down.

"Yes, I knew it. You're just a whore, nothing more. That's how your parents raised you, right?" you knew that wasn't true, but you tried to agree with him anyway, making a moan, but all what came out was gagging sound.

William threw his head back, groaning, his hand was still on your hair, no longer grabbing, but pressing enough to keep your head in one position. Your jaw was starting to hurt, it was hard to keep mouth wide open, and William didn't even seem close. You felt the urge to vomit every time he jerked his hips, completely plunging his dick into your throat and staying like that for a few seconds as your saliva dribbled down your chin. The feeling of your sweet throat tightening around his cock made him clench his teeth to keep from making loud moans.

"Be ready to swallow, sweetie." Afton muttered, looking at you with half-closed eyes.

Finally, when you felt him twitching and his thrusts become more and more sloppy, you realized that he was close. William came with a muffled groan, holding you by the hair so you wouldn't pull away. It was so hot and sexy to feel his cum trickling down your throat. You've never had a man who dominated you like that. All your exes were nothing compared to William.

When his grip loosened, he let you go, straightening his shirt and breathing deeply. You gasped for air, head spinning, throat sore, cheeks red, roots of hair hurt, but a stupid happy smile on your face when you realized what you had just done. William, however, was just as pleased as you. It had been a long time since he had fun like this, his wife never done anything like this with him. But what he never thought about was that he would find a girl like you so quickly, who would try madly to satisfy all his needs. And wasn't it heaven? William didn't feel any guilt, because he was sure that it was you who provoked him to do this.

"No one should know about this, honey, do you understand me?"

You were about to answer when the phone rang. William, seeing how exhausted you were, reached for it and handed it to you. When you picked up the phone, you were greeted by mom's serious tone.

"Y/n, where are you? It's already 7 p.m. and you're not home. Don't you know that you have a tutor after school? Your father and I are paying for him!"

"Gosh, mom, I'm with Mia and Sofia," you said through gritted teeth, "and I don't need any tutor, tell him from me that he's a useless old asshole!" you hung up the phone, glowering at the phone screen, where were 5 missed calls from mom.

"How obstinate you are, you remind me of Michael." you looked at him questioningly, to which William only grinned because of how ridiculous your cute puzzled face looked. The man put on his pants and, taking napkins from the table, wiped the left of cum from your lips. "Michael is my son. He is in his first year of engineering college, very stubborn and short-tempered."

A strange smile appeared on William's face when he spoke about his family. A smile he never had for you.

After another long minute of conversation, which you wanted to end as soon as possible, because they were useless stories about his kids, Afton helped you clean yourself up. When you got home, you crawled onto the bed and blankly stared at the ceiling, your brain digesting everything that happened today. It didn't scare you that everything happened so fast. But it bothered you that you never thought about him being married. There wasn't even any hint he had a wife. He didn't wear a wedding ring, and when you kissed him, he never refused. There was always an answer to all your flirting, the way he looked at you during class was something more than just innocent glances from teacher to student. It was the look of a hungry man who desperately wanted you.

And what's worse is that now you seem to be very much in love with William. Guys have always been nothing more than entertainment for you, it was fun to play with their feelings. And you thought it would be the same with Afton. Your goal was just to seduce him, just to have fun. After all, guys your age were boring, and you thought it wouldn't be so bad to find someone older, because you're a huge fan of playing on nerves. And just in time, professor William showed up at school.

But everything went awry when William Afton began to completely take over your thoughts.

Stupid teenage crush, what could be worse? And the worse was that William started flirting back. In all images, only William seemed to be there, his face haunted you in your dreams, but along with the ardent love, bitter jealousy grew, which you tried to stifle. And for a while, this unpleasant desire to be the only one for William disappeared. Because he spent all his time on you, which couldn't not make you the happiest girl on earth.

Kissing right in the school hallway was wrong, but how could you resist when he was aggressively pinning you against the wall, his hands gripping your hips while you tried not to moan into his mouth. Neither of you cared that there was a lesson behind that wall. The chemistry your brain was creating because of William was driving you insane, you couldn't wait for the day you'd be in his bed. Oh, how much you wanted to show him that you're better than his wife.

It was all well and good, until one day William had to leave right after class ended, telling you he had things to do. However, that didn't stop you from following him all the way home to find out where he lives. His house stood next to a road, on the other side of which was a bus stop, where you stood timidly, watching William enter the house and greet a woman who happily hugs him.

With what love and care she takes the umbrella from him, kisses him on the cheek, and they both disappear into the house. And with what anger and resentment you stand, completely soaked in the rain, watching them.

…

The next day, after a long night full of thoughts, you met William on your way to school.

"I thought you drove to work." you smiled fake.

"Yes, but Michael borrowed car, he needs it more now," William's face brightened, he continued to gesticulate a lot, smiling from ear to ear, voice was full of delight. "And the weather is so good today, isn't it great to take a little walk?"

"Probably…" and again this Michael, again the mention of his family, his wife, his kids.

"The thunder was booming all night, my little Elizabeth was so scared. Poor little one couldn't sleep."

Are you sure you didn't sleep because of your daughter? Isn't it because of your fucking wife? I know there was something between you last night. Why are you so damn happy? What about me?

The morning has just begun and everything is already going to hell.

Afton's phone rang annoyingly loudly, and his fingers instantly pressed the receive button.

"Hello, Clara?" his tone is so cloying that you wanna puke. "Oh, no, damn… Looks like I'm going to walk around school blind today… Yeah, I was in such a hurry that I forgot them on the table… I don't think I'll be able to come back, I'll be late for work… Sure, bye, honey, see you this evening, love you!"

Listening to how kindly and lovely he talks to his wife, you felt everything tearing apart inside, tears of anger appeared in your eyes. You turned away to wipe them off, not wanting William to see you like this. You didn't want to see William either.

The school day dragged on for a long time, you had to skip one lesson, sitting in the bathroom and smoking a few cigarettes to calm your nerves. You felt that if you saw William, you wouldn't be able to resist saying everything you thought about his wife into his face. Everyone in the class seemed to have already got used to the new teacher, the feelings of many girls cooled down as they realized they had no chance of having an affair with this man. Everyone… except you. You couldn't make your heart stop loving him, you didn't even know if it was love or some kind of sick obsession.

Although you knew one thing for sure: you weren't going to share him with anyone else.

After class ended, you quickly jumped up from your desk to put your things in your bag and leave the classroom, unable to see your professor anymore. Sadness and anger grew. As you passed his desk, about to leave, William called your name and asked you to stay.

You stood motionless, with your back to him, feeling deeply offended. When it was just the two of you in class again, William came up to you, put his hands on your shoulders and slowly took off his backpack. You didn't move.

"Look at me." he began. "What upset you so much? You've been acting weird all day, avoiding me."

You knew that ignoring his question would do nothing, but you felt lost, not knowing whether to tell him truth or not. You felt a lump in your throat, as if something was holding you back from telling him the reason of your behavior. Maybe you just imagined all this nonsense? Maybe it really shouldn't affect you that much, after all, it looks like he cares about your state. What if he doesn't really love his wife?

"Y/n?"

"Ah, that's… nothing special." you turned to him, still not looking him in the eye. How can you explain yourself to him if you didn't understood it yourself. "It's just problems… with parents, it happens."

"Is it because of the tutor?" you just nodded in response. William was a selfish man, but certainly not dumb. He watched your expression and the way you behaved in front of him, avoiding eye contact, and came to the conclusion that you were lying. "Oh, then how about I spend the evening with you?"

Afton felt no remorse. He suggested it because he felt pity for you and nothing more. And he also needed to relieve stress after a long week at work. He didn't have strong feelings for you, he didn't love you more than his wife. William knew that these emotions you're experiencing right now are just teenage infatuation, and why wouldn't he take advantage of it?

William knew how to banish your sadness, so he booked a hotel room.

Despite the terrible morning and afternoon, the evening was a thousand times better. Your tears of resentment turned to tears of pleasure, your hands reached for William's neck to pull him even closer to you. With each strong thrust, you felt his cock penetrate deeper. William ran his lips down your neck to your collarbones, leaving purple hickeys. His hands gripped your hips as he moved inside you.

How much you wanted this, needed this.

Your clothes were lying on the floor somewhere, and your phone was on the bedside table, the screen was on. The last message to mom said that you'd stay the night with your girl friends.

You dissolved into pleasure, loud moans, more like screams, escaped from your lips as William drove into your body. He nuzzled your neck, biting you like a wild animal, trying to stifle his own groans. You forgot about everything that happened today, about his wife and kids, about your parents, your friends. Everything around you didn't make sense. All that mattered was the man above you, who fucked you so hard your toes were curling.

"Oh, fuck-fuck, don't stop!" you whimpered, feeling that you were approaching orgasm. However, that sweet sob from you made something click in William's brain as he grinned.

His eyes glittered before he kissed you, letting out a low throaty growl as he did so. You moaned, letting his tongue slide into your mouth. William pulled out. Goosebumps ran over your skin, and you impatiently rubbed your body against him, trying to hint to him to enter you again. Afton broke the kiss, his hands turned you over on your stomach and lifted your ass, your bodies merged back together.

"You're so fucking tight. Been a while since you've been fucked that good, right?"

You knew that your moans were loud, too loud, you knew the people in the other rooms heard everything. You tried to restrain yourself by biting the pillow. William didn't approve of this and slapped your ass sharply, leaving a red mark, and then pulled you by the hair to himself.

"Don't hide your fucking moans, I want… everyone to know what a whore you are, bunny." he was breathing heavily, feeling walls of your pussy clench around his cock. William wrapped your hair on his fist, lifting your head to the ceiling.

You gasped, already losing your mind, when you felt his tip pressing against your cervix. Your body was shaking in his arms, and William took his hand from your hair, releasing you. You started moaning his name nonstop, writhing with bliss, moving back and forth yourself. You didn't even notice that William stopped moving at all, watching with a grin as you fucked yourself stupid on his cock.

"Oh, you want to cum? Dont you worry, I'll help my sweet girl." his hips began to move again, and his calloused fingers caressed your aching clit in lazy circular movements.

You felt waves of pleasure spreading in your lower abdomen, your pussy began to throb around his shaft, your legs trembled as you came with a desperate moan. William himself was close to orgasm, he pulled out of you, not holding back in moans, and brought himself to orgasm with his hand, cumming on your ass.

His sweaty body fell next to yours as he was breathing deeply, recovering. After a few minutes, he got out of bed, went to the bathroom, but returned with napkins, wiping your body.

"I'm going to take a shower." he lay next to you for a short time, then got up and went again to the bathroom, leaving you tired on the bed. Your eyelids were slowly closing as you were falling asleep, you almost dozed off, but you were woken up by William saying something. Your eyes flew open and you saw him already dressed, the man was taking money out of his wallet. "It's for a taxi, you'd better get some sleep, and in the morning you'll go home."

"What? You'll leave me.. just like this?" you immediately raised yourself up, leaning on your elbows, covering your naked body with a blanket.

"I have to be home in an hour, Y/n, don't make a drama out of it." Afton replied with restraint. His face was tense, there was no desire to discuss this jealous nonsense, and moreover, he wasn't in the mood to calm your hysterics. He knew that if he was late for his wife, she would bombard him with questions (because he always arrived on time), and this was the last thing he wanted.

"What do you mean, "don't make a drama"?! You think you can just—"

"You knew I had a family, and you knew what you were signing up for by having an affair with a married man." William felt his anger rising, he frowned. He slammed his palm loudly on the table, throwing money.

"No, no, wait, William!" your voice trembled, you tried to hold back the tears that gushed. "Don't leave me here!" William wasn't going to stand and listen to your screams, he didn't book a room for that. But your crying was exhausting his patience. Afton knew that this moment would come someday, however, wasting time on it wasn't in his plans. You'll calm down somehow, without his help. The professor took one last look at himself in the mirror and headed for the door. "How am i worse than her? How am i worse than fucking her?!"

It was impossible to understand what you were feeling, because it was an explosive mixture of all negative emotions. There was fear in your eyes, the fear of being abandoned, of losing William. But at the same time, cold anger was building up inside, and your knuckles were turning pale from how hard you were clutching the blanket. Throwing it off, you ran up to the man and grabbed his clothes.

William slapped you. Your cheek was burning as there was a large reddish mark on it from his palm.

"Leave me alone! I'm sorry i even damn know you!" William barked. He got angry, because your behavior went beyond all bounds, his hands pushed you hard, causing you to fall to the floor, but this didn't stop your hysteria. Clutching his leg tightly, you looked up at him, continuing to sob and beg him to stay. "This is our last meeting."

Escaping from your grasp, William left room, slamming the door, the sound of which painfully echoed in your ears. Your eyes widened in panic as soon as you realized that he was gone, that he left you. You cried until you lost your voice. A lump in your throat. You were left alone, humiliated, broken, abandoned, used.

Was it over?

You didn't show up at school for two weeks because you "caught a cold." Friends pmed you every day, asking how you were and when you would finally come to school, but you hardly answered, not knowing the answer yourself. You avoided communicating with your parents, spending whole days in your room, which alerted them, but they didn't dare to disturb your peace, thinking that you sleep all day because of the high temperature.

William Afton was no longer your teacher. After that terrible situation at the hotel, you felt something break in you. Every time you look at yourself in the mirror, the scene of how he hit you repeats itself in your head, and you relive all the resentment and anger, even rage. Nobody. No one in the world has ever raised a hand at you. Instead, you began to notice how his face causes unbearable irritation, to the point of gnashing your teeth. From his name alone, you want to break all furniture in your house. The memory of how you looked at him with loving eyes makes you want to erase your memory first, and then shoot your head off. How could you be so blind not to notice that he was just using you?

Jealousy turned into a desire for revenge, you wanted him to suffer for playing with your feelings, that he saw you as nothing more than a sex toy, and then innocently returned home to his wife's arms, as if nothing had happened. It shouldn't be like this.

Every night you woke up sweating from nightmares in which you did terrible things to him.

But at one point, the nightmares turned into fantasies.

….

While smoking a cigarette, you take out of your jeans pocket a photo of William that you took with him at a time when everything was still good. Undoubtedly, the photo turned out well, William's smile is great, he really is one of the most handsome men you've ever seen. Admiring the photo a little more, you hold a cigarette to it and watch as the photo turns to ashes.

It was over.

You knew all about William. You knew how many kids he had, how old his wife was, and what she cooked for him in the morning. Listening to him talk nonstop about his family life was excruciating, but fortunately, everything comes to an end. You knew where his eldest son went to study, and it didn't take you much effort to catch him on his way out of college.

"Hey there! Michael, right?" you call out to him as you approach him. Your mouth twists in a fake smile when you look at him closer, a real copy of his father. Michael is a little confused, he nods uncertainly and hopes that there is no blush on his cheeks. He finds you very attractive. "Oh, so… I'm Y/n! I study at the school where your father works, and he said he would help me prepare for my final exams."

"Oh, hello! I can actually give you a ride, dad gave me his car."

I know, silly, I know everything about you.

You gave the guy a radiant smile and nodded your head happily. How did a bastard like William raise a wonderful son like Michael? When you got into the car, you couldn't help but notice how Michael sometimes glances at you. It's pretty sweet, but he's clearly not your type. And Michael's not the problem. He tries his best to start a conversation with you, but you answer him without any enthusiasm. His chatter makes it difficult to concentrate.

The road takes little time, but you feel a fiery surge of anger every time the car stops at a traffic light. You're burning with the desire to rip the steering wheel out of Michael's hands and drive car yourself. You snort nervously, casting a discontented glance at the window. Patience is running out.

Michael parks the car, and you both get out, he leads you to the house, along the way telling some bullshit you ignore. You can barely restrain yourself from letting out a sarcastic laugh, knowing full well that you don't need his help. You know this place better than he does.

"Hey, dad, open! Your son has arrived!" Michael says loudly in a joking manner, knocking on the door. You hear heavy footsteps coming from the house, the door opens and William is standing behind it. His face doesn't express much emotion yet. But as soon as the door swings open fully, revealing you standing next to Michael, his eyes widen.

Your lips curve into a wide smile, and you twist your hair around your finger, fluttering your eyelashes innocently. William noticed you haven't been at school for a long time, but he didn't pay much attention to it. He ended everything at the hotel and didn't plan on coming back to you. He's almost forgotten what your voice sounds like. And how lucky he is that you showed up on his threshold to remind him of your existence. Afton didn't have much choice when Michael explained to him why you came. William sighs wearily, he should have changed his job just when you started making jealous scenes for him. But who the hell were you for him to risk his huge salary anyway?

You walk into his house, feeling William's eyes devour you. Without any shyness, you look appraisingly at everything around you. There are kid's drawings and a portrait of his wife on the walls, but the sweetest thing is the wedding photos in which William holds her in his arms, they both look so happy and deeply in love, perfect for each other. Why did William cheat on her? To some extent, you even feel regret for his wife.

"I have to go to work, so you can study as much as you want. See you later!" Michael exclaims, almost leaving the house. "Oh, and… dad, give her cookies, which, by the way, I baked!" William rolls his eyes, making it clear that Michael should really leave. You giggle, flattered that his son is trying so hard to impress you. "Please?"

"Sure, Michael."

Michael quickly leaves the house, no longer daring to bother you. As he walks to the car, an enthusiastic smile doesn't leave his face, he wipes small tears of sweat from his forehead. The poor guy feels a little awkward, but he sincerely hopes that he has left a good impression. He'll be so glad to meet you again, maybe you will even become friends? He's looking forward to your opinion on his baking skills.

As soon as the door closes behind Michael, William follows you into the living room. He's outraged, dissatisfied, how the fuck did you get to his house in the first place? Michael's college was very far from your school, it was hard to find him, impossible to catch him after classes. Who knows what's on your mind?

"Now tell me, why are you even here? Why are you doing this?" William gives you a contemptuous look, raising his eyebrows. He still can't believe that all this is happening to him, hoping that it's just a figment of his imagination, but no, you're in front of his eyes, sitting possessively on his expensive couch.

"But I love—"

"Now, dont start with this." William snaps, pointing his index finger at you to shut up. If William doubted his decision before, now he is convinced that he should have left you a long time ago.

"William, listen to me." you pout, crossing one leg over the other. "I'll never cross your threshold again, I just came to see you and…" plaintive tone. "to drink with you to our last meeting." your fingers slowly unzip the bag and you proudly show William a bottle of red wine. How did you even know that he likes this brand?

"I'm not going to do that."

"I swear I won't get in your way again. I realized that it was my fault, because you have a wife and…" you beg him, your lips tremble slightly as tears gather on your eyelashes, and all this is thanks to your incredible acting skills. How easy it is to manipulate people.

William narrows his eyes and sinks into his thoughts. You look so pathetic that he wants to hug you even though he doesn't have any feelings for you. He's thinking. On the one hand, his wife is outside with the kids and will return home in the late afternoon, and Michael is at work and will also come late. No one will bother you for the next few hours, and you two are alone, free to do whatever you want.

"The glasses are in the kitchen."

Alcohol fills the crystal glasses that William took out from the cupboard. He's not the least bit embarrassed that he once used these with his wife during their honeymoon.

The conversation starts about nothing. You playfully touch his feet with yours under the table, pretending it's an accident. But William knows those shiny eyes of yours. Your look with vulgar hints brings back memories of how you seduced him at school. After emptying the second glass of red, William gets up from the table and goes to the refrigerator for ice cubes, the kitchen is getting too hot. Or maybe he's already drunk.

You approach him, using the moment when the man is standing with his back to you, and press your chest against him. His body is hot and relaxed.

"I missed you…" you whisper excitedly. So disgusting.

Afton turns around and stares into your eyes, then at your revealing cleavage. Again. His pupils are dilating. He remembers the clothes you always wore at school, barely covering your breasts and ass, and how hard he tried to control himself in lectures.

Afton's head is spinning, everything but you is blurred in his eyes. And he gives up, greedily kissing you. Wet and rough, as always. His hands grab you by the neck, squeezing you slightly. And yours slide down his body, to his pants, and then to his belt.

"We better do it fast." William whispers hoarsely into your lips as you caress his hard-on with your palm through his clothes. How cute, he thinks you're just going to blow him like last time.

Now it has become difficult to hide aggression, alcohol has helped to feel everything in double size. You just wish he'd shut up, his voice is annoying, so you kiss him again. You want to vent all the anger and stuff it into his smoky lungs so that he can't take a breath. You bite his lips hard, causing blood to run down his chin, and William is so drunk that he thinks it's just such a foreplay. His hands are no longer unbuckling his belt, but William doesn't notice it, he's busy trying to take off your dress.

He's so weak, so seductive, just begging you to kill him.

"Come on, bunny, don't tease me." you roll your eyes, but you pull away, take off your dress, and it falls to the floor, you stand in front of a man in beautiful lace underwear. "Oh, so shameless, huh…" William drunkenly draws out his speech. Pisses you off, pisses you off, pisses you off. You kiss him again, the man's lips are so disgustingly wet because of the blood. He has no idea that this is the last kiss. Thanks to William's drunken state, your deft hands managed to get a knife out of the kitchen cupboard unnoticed.

You stab a man in the chest, his eyes widen in horror, he jumps away from you.

"What the fuck?!"

Stupid jerk. He doesn't even know that if he moves with a knife in his body, it'll only hurt more. A cruel smile appears on your face, and you come closer to him, putting your finger to his lips.

"Don't call me your bunny, asshole." with a clanking sound, you pull the bloody knife out of him, and William falls to the floor, screaming in searing pain. Everything about him pisses you off, how dare he cry when you've just started?

"Stop it, bitch! Stop it!" William presses his palm to the wound, from which blood is gushing, opens his mouth and breathes raggedly. Your eyes widened with rage pulsing through your veins, it engulfed you from head to toe. You kick William in the groin and he screams in agony. And then you kick him again and again and again until you hear a crunch, his dick is literally bursting. Afton cannot get up because of his drunken state, his hands slide across the floor, covered in blood, he kicks and screams in acute pain. You switched places, and now he's lying on the cold tile, choking on tears.

You fall on your knees next to him and stab him a couple more times in the stomach, chest, blood splashes on you and stains your white underwear. His body convulses, he tries to crawl away from you, his screams become hoarse.

Your frantic gaze runs all over the kitchen, trying to find something else besides a knife.

"Crazy bitch!" William shouts, sputtering. "I'm going to put—"

Hit. Another hit. And another one.

You're sitting on the floor in dead silence, holding a cast-iron frying pan in your hands and looking down at a lifeless body. Or a mess, that's more suitable word. A bloody mess. You wince at the disgusting sight. The end. His heart stopped forever, his skin seemed to stretch, become dense and acquired a light ashen color. A sharp metallic smell fills your nostrils, you throw your head back and roll your eyes. It's not known what killed him, a knife or a strong hit with a frying pan, but you are in utter ecstasy.

You carefully, like a graceful cat, put a frying pan on his broken head, covering his face and get up. You take one last look at what you've done. You're thinking. It's probably better to leave this dress as a gift to him. It's all covered in blood anyway.

Your legs carry you to the exit, you move slowly, and then out of the corner of your eye you notice cookies on a plate. Your brain remembers well how much Michael wanted you to try them. You smile sweetly, this boy is too kind and warm-hearted, he didn't deserve a father like William. You take a bite of a cookie, slowly, really slowly chewing it. There's no hurry anyway.

Ugh, it's disgusting. The cookies are too dry, almost not sweet, more like just breadcrumbs. It's better not to tell Michael, he'll be upset.

"You'll thank me later, Clara." you're talking to the beautiful woman in the photo that hangs on the wall in the living room. Her happy emerald eyes look into yours, she seems so lively and carefree, as if she is about to answer you.

You leave the house, finally finding yourself in the fresh cold night air. The light from the moon falls on your almost naked body, and the dried blood on it shimmers beautifully. Oh, how you wish you had a cigarette. The desire to smoke a pack hasn't left you since you entered this house.

Suddenly, the light from the headlights of the car blinds you and you squint. Michael arrived. And together with him, the rest of the family.

[mk-wizard]

Transformers Excerpts: "You were divorced?!"

This fic idea was heavily inspired and motivated by Hollywood's obsession with breaking up every single iconic couple because they thing keeping heroes miserable makes them interesting (which phooey). I wanted to make a little short story on how an iconic couple tried being divorced and failed that miserably. I think you already know which it's going to be...

*In the Autobot base, the Maltos, Terrans and Autobots and reformed Decepticons...*

Optimus: *is holding Elita-One's hand and they both look very happy* Everyone, we have an announcement to make. A happy anouncement. I know this is not popular opinion or the popular route, but we decided to stop lying to ourselves, stop denying our feelings and stop living a life we don't want. Hotrod:.... Huh? Elita-One: Son, your father and I have decided to go back on our divorce *they hold each other* We have decided to remarry and once again be husband and wife.

*Everyone is in shock and murmuring...*

Optimus: *his smile fades* Look. I get it. Reconciliation is not popular on Earth, but Elita-One and I really do love each other and our time apart was agnony. Bumblebee:... *shrugs* What time apart? Optimus: Excuse me? Grimlock: Uh, don't take this the wrong way, Optimus, but... all this time, Elita-One and you were DIVORCED?!! Elita-One: You couldn't tell? Alex: Uh, no. We really couldn't. In fact... I'm no marriage expert or anything, but uh... how do I put this politely? Megatron: You and Elita-One are TERRIBLE at being divorced. Not a single one of your actions, interactions or anything hinted at you two being platonic let alone exes. Optimus: What do you mean? We never hid it! Look at our hands! We have no rings! Dotty: Honey, Alex and I are happy married and we don't wear our rings *they show their hands* We don't because they get in the way of our work. Lots of happily married couples don't wear their rings. Elita-One: Alright, but... We were DEFINITELY platonic. Arcee: Um... You're really not. You're always checking each other out, always spot checking yourself when you know Optimus is coming and every time Optimus bends over, you can't take your eyes off his aft, Elita *she turns beet red* Jawbreaker: Come to think of it... when Elita-One's around, you tend to bend over A LOT, Optimus. Optimus: I do not! Besides, we didn't anything beyond that! We never let our emotions get the best of us! Cyclonus:... That time Shockwave grazed Elita's arm during a fight from a shot, you almost KILLED him. With your bare hands. And Grimlock could not pry you off. I had to sedate you. Elita-One: S-Shockwave had it coming for a lot of reasons! Besides, we tried moving on! We even made dating profiles on Cybr! Ratchet:... The kind of guy you described wanting was Optimus so far down to the finest detail that the ONLY mech you match with to this day is Optimus. And vice versa. Optimus: Sigh, alright. Maybe our feelings became more aware to everyone else than they were to ourselves, but we never hid that we were divorced. Grimlock:... Actually, none of us knew you were divorced this whole time until today. Elita-One: Ok, THAT is a lie. Hotrod, you knew that your father and I were divorced. You live with us! Hotrod: Mom, you never told me this whole and uh... That's just it. We all still live together. And you still make breakfast every Saturday, you keep the goodie jar full for dad, dad keeps the vases full of flowers for you, you still exchanges birthday gifts, Earthpsark Day Gifts AND Valentine's Day gifts, you get random gifts for each other- Optimus: Hotrod, that just means we're civil and friendly! Hotrod: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand... *has his finger raised* You both still share a berthchamber. Optimus: HOTROD!! *is really red*.................. Goodness, we WERE bad at being divorced. Dotty: You know... that's not a bad thing, Optimus. Thrash: And... it's not like you guys did anything you regret during your divorce like waste your time with rebounds, costly moving out or anything like that. Megatron: My question is, why did you two fools divorce at all if it's so clear you still loved each other so much in spite of being astronomically oblivious to it? Elita-One: We thought that... we had to. Optimus and I had thought one another died and accepted that for years. When we realized we were both still alive and met each other all over again... It was so shocking that we didn't know what to do. We thought too much time had passed for us to pick up where we left off and... I know felt ashamed for believing Optimus had died. Optimus: *puts a hand on her shoulder* I felt the same way... Elita, since you came back into my life, my time with you has been BETTER than ever. I think... I think I love you MORE than I did before! You've become so much more precious to me! I thought you were DEAD, but you're not. I never want to lose you again. Not any way. Elita-One: *has tears in her eyes* I feel the same way, Optimus *they kiss and everyone applauds* Dotty: So only one thing to do now... Time to make wedding plans, baby!

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[dangerpronebuddie]

Inspiration Saturday!!

Tagged by @wikiangela who is writing some adorable bucktommy fluff y'all should show some love!! 💚🩷

The photos we're getting for the next episodes have inspired a new WIP! (And my sister gave me a brilliant whump idea for the story too 😁). It also qualifies for the BTHB prompt: Severed Artery! I have the actual whump written, but I decided to share some of Buck's conversation with Helena, cause I don't know how I feel about the scene yet. Fair warning, Tommy is not portrayed in the very best light, so if you don't want to be tagged for this fic, I understand and I'll alter the taglist if need be 🥰:

“Where is Christopher?” Ramon asks before Helena could speak again. “He's at school,” Buck says. “I was planning on bringing him here as soon as he's out.” “We will get Christopher,” Helena declares. “As soon as we call the school, they'll understand.” “They already know the situation,” he assures her. “I um… called yesterday.” “You?” Helena frowns. Buck hums an affirmative. Trying to keep from falling apart while on the phone to Miss Townshend wasn’t an experience he ever wanted to go through again. “I would’ve thought Pepa would take charge,” Helena says to Ramon. “Evidently, she’s letting Buck lend a hand,” Ramon says. “Uh, actually, Eddie is letting me help,” Buck says, “has been for years.” “First I'm hearing of it,” Helena says with a challenging raise of her eyebrows. Eddie once described his mother like Katherine Hepburn's character in The Philadelphia Story. Cary Grant described her disapproving scowl as “the withering glance of the goddess.” The resemblance was uncanny. “Well, you haven't really been around,” Buck says with a wince, fighting the urge to hunch his shoulders around his ears. Tommy places a reassuring hand on his back, then squeezes the nape of his neck. “How would you know?” Helena asks. “I'm his best friend,” Buck says with a nervous chuckle. “And that gives you the right to take over while my son is incapacitated?” Buck takes a deep breath. “It does, actually.” “I beg your pardon?” She folds her arms, that withering glance never faltering. “It was Eddie's choice,” Buck says. “A few years ago, he chose me to act as Christopher's guardian should something like this happen.” "It doesn't stop us helping out," Helena persists. "I understand that," Buck says. "And I thank you for wanting to, but we have it handled." "Evan, he's their grandkid," Tommy points out.

"And he's my kid," Buck bites back with a disbelieving frown before whirling around to face the Diazes again. "I'm sorry, but Christopher stays with me."

(tags under the cut. As always, please let me know if you want to be added/ removed)

Absolutely no pressure tagging:

@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 and anyone else who wants to share!! 🥰🩷

@13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @tizniz @loveyouanyway

@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @daffi-990 @kitteneddiediaz

@inell @exhaustedpigeons @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus @diazsdimples

@actuallyitsellie @daniwib @fortheloveofbuddie @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley

@rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6

@misshiss727 @likeamollusconarock @lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92

@smallandalmosthonest @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx

[iamnmbr3]

I was reading the wiki page on Occlumency for a fic and now I'm even more confused why JKR thinks Draco can't be redeemed (or whatever she's said on it, I don't care too much for her words).

She literally acknowledges in a quote that Draco is so good at Occlumency because he can compartmentalise his feelings well, and gave as an example that he's such a 'good' bully (good is kind of contested because I really don't think he was that good lol) because he can suppress the pity he feels. Like, she basically says that he does feel bad for (some) of the things he did (or at least has the capacity to), and he just forces it down. I'd imagine an actually 'good' bully wouldn't even feel pity to begin with.

She also says he shut down his compassion to be a good DE, which really just sounds like he tried to shut it down and failed in the end, because he's awful at being actually cruel and doing things the other DEs do. And overall, most people don't hold out for very long when they're actively suppressing or shutting down emotions, and I honestly think it's very possible that Draco struggled more and more with that near the end of the War until it all fell apart at some point.

Of course, this is all just post-books quotes, and fuck JKR, but it's so interesting that she acknowledges that he can (and maybe actively does) feel pity and compassion, which would be such a good set up for a redemption arc imo!

I'm mostly asking this here because your analyses are amazing and you're by far my favourite drarry blog (even though this is only Draco, oops), but I'm curious what you think of this since I don't think you've said anything on this yet (correct me if I'm wrong lol, I could be).

yeah exactly. (for those who don't know - on wizarding world there's this whole long incredibly pretentious and condescending essay that she wrote about how draco didn't get a redemption arc and fans better not like him or else which is hugely contradictory and literally describes how he got a redemption arc - and drops some cool additional lore that makes him even more interesting and complicated - all while trying to get fans not to care. it's wild.) a while ago i started a meta breaking it down but I never got around to finishing it. I really should dig it up.

and yeah I think that whole essay provides great additional backstory that adds depth and interest to draco's character (love the bit about him keeping dark arts relics in a glass cabinet as a reminder - to look at and never use) and is literally the opposite of what jkr wants it to be. she literally describes how he had doubts and had to suppress parts of himself to go along with something he knew was wrong (something that bellatrix or even lucius very obviously didn't have to do) and how ultimately his morals won out, he spent the rest of his life regretting his actions, and fought with his family in order to raise his son with different values. I.e. he CHANGED HIS MIND AND HIS ACTIONS...aka a redemption arc.

the essay is great till jkr concludes with 'so this is why draco is irredeemably evil and fans shouldn't like him'. um ??? the??? why didn't u write him that way???? her lack of self awareness is bizarre.

[atopvisenyashill]

i don't know if you do read them- but I genuinely need you to share jonsa (i like to call them snowdove actually❄️🕊️ although snostone might also actually fit-) fanfics that are book compliant- i just can't describe how much i hate the show using sansa for jeyne plot hole 😮‍💨 it does throw me out of reading tbh-

yes this is like my number one barrier to most jonsa fics, it's actually the main reason i don't read a lot of jonsa fic (or theonsa fic, for that matter) - i don't like the sansa bolton plotline at all and I'm not particularly interested in reading it. Also, in general, I don't really like AUs that are like, modern aus or setting AUs - they have to be like long ass, novel length, well thought out AUs for me to get into it, I guess I just don't really see the appeal of ASOIAF characters in the modern day unless you're getting into the weeds with world building. i like book canon lmao i want to see book canon!

I have a rec list here but you reminded me I had promised to do a second one alsdjfks I just haven't read a lot of fanfiction lately. If you haven't done so yet, I would definitely suggest going to the jon/sansa tag in the ASOIAF fandom (filter out game of thrones) (also filter out modern au) and then going to the very end of the results - there's a lot of real gems pre 2015 that don't touch on any of the show plot points. And while the fandom wars had definitely started by that point, I would say the ship war (and in particular, the imo obnoxious ostracizing of jonsa from the main fandom) hadn't yet started, and because there's less hurt feelings there, they're usually a lot kinder to Dany than some of the later stuff, if that's another thing that turns you off (I'm really mixed there - honestly just depends on my mood). One shots, multi chapter, post canon, twow & ados speculation, just good old fashioned smut (there's like sooooo much cunnilingus in jonsa smut lol), etc, you'll find all that sort of stuff in the early fics!

just_a_dram in general is a name you'll find a lot in the older fics and they're soo good, lots of long fics, and all book canon! i've been reading recently (they're not finished) ulf-grar/wolf-grey (i think i've recced it before) and that author, undercovercaptain has a few others i like. there's also bird on the wing by eruherdiriel that i've really enjoyed as well and again that author has a bunch of other book canon fics!

um anyways new years revolution make another book jonsa fic rec post by like spring!!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey!! I really admire your writing so I thought that maybe you could lend me a hand w smth... Do you happen to have some tips or exercises to get out of a writing block?

Or well, idk if I'd call what I'm struggling with that- is just... Whenever I try to write stories, my brain just isn't capable. Like. I know what I want and I know how I want it to sound but words just don't come out and if they do they don't feel good at all. And I /was/ able to do it before. It's like a part of my mind got blocked. I was reading your Miss Raven lore and what she studies while trying to create her UM made me think of this problem I'm having- the part rediscovering a part of oneself that was lost... or something like that.

So I thought that maybe you knew of some exercises or just... Something? Anything? If not I totally get it tho- sorry for rambling

[Referencing this series!]

Hello, hello!! ^^ Thank you for complimenting my writing, your support's much appreciated! I hope you can continue to enjoy my work~

I think I understand what you're going through. Gosh knows how many pieces I have on the backburner... but never enough time or motivation to finish them all. Having ideas is the easy part; actually fleshing out those ideas into fics is tricky, especially since we creatives can easily be our own worst critics. I'm pretty finicky with my own action scenes, dialogue, and emotionally intense moments and have to edit, revise, or completely rewrite them multiple times until it's sounding the way I want it to. Writer's block gets to us all sometimes. It's a natural part of being a creator so don't be shamed or worried!

abldsbuaodadfjnla It's interesting that you mentioned Miss Raven's struggles when describing your own. When I was in the process of writing her saga, I wanted her problems to be relatable and meaningful to others in some way. I'm glad that it happened to help you identify something within yourself 😃

Here are some of the things that I personally do to get out of writing slumps. This is what works for me, so I cannot guarantee that they will also work for you--but hopefully this at least gives you some kind of starting point!

Take a walk! Touch grass! It's good to get your mind off of creating and just... take a breather. You'd be surprised how refreshing it is to get fresh air and sunshine. Who knows, you might also see something on your walk that inspires you.

Take a nap! If you have an interesting dream, write it down. It could become a cool idea somewhere down the line.

Talk to a friend; it helps to have a new perspective to bounce ideas off of.

Read a book! Sometimes getting a sense of how someone else shares their ideas can inspire you to work on your own style.

Use another hobby as a creative outlet. For me, that's scrapbooking/journaling and baking. Don't set limits or rules, let yourself work at your own pace and have fun.

Start small, like writing some dialogue exchanges or a sentence or two.

Do writing or character prompts. You can find prompts of your own or use a website to generate random combinations.

Another exercise I like to do is writing a short story based solely on a random image. You can find images yourself or have a friend hand you one. It helps stretch the creative muscles!

The most important thing is to allow yourself the chance to rest and recover! No one can be a content making machine 24/7; that’s not what humans were built for. Be kind to yourself!!

Good luck with your writing~ ^^

[romanarose]

Talk to Me

Santiago Garcia x afab!reader

Join my taglist!

Main Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi

Summary: You open up to Santi about being sexually assaulted.

Warnings: Description of sexual assault. Just all the warnings there. Santi responds how I'd like a partner to respond in this setting (Ideally I'd like them to kill my rapists but unfortunetly this is the real world :(). Just be aware this could potentially be very triggering but I was trying to find a fic like this and couln't so I just made it.

Immersivity: Reader is so longer in teens (meaning not 18 or 19) I think thats it. gender neuatral but reader is AFAB

A/N as is the natue for many of these kinds of stories, I am describing my real life experience. Everyone is different, and no matter what, how you responded (fight flight freeze or fawn) or how you got into that position or how old you were, weather it involved physical violence or coercion or alcohol it's all traumatizing its all awful and you deserve to be heard and believed and comforted, and to have some form of justice whatever that may look like for you.

"It was stupid, honestly." You mutter, sitting up against the headboard of Santi's bed.

Santiago Garcia was the first guy you dated that had anything more than a box spring on the floor and who washed his legs, so things had been looking up. You were staying over at Santi's place, enjoying a nice saturday in, and dozed off only to be woken up by Santiago trying to be playful. He had grabbed your ankle, tugging at you saying 'wakey wakey eggs and bakey! Well, there's not eggs. Or bacon honestly. But I can doordash some- are you okay?'

You had begun to have a panic attack, something that Santi wasn't knew to handling with you. Over the months you were dating, he came to know your anxiety and depressive episodes, learning how to help deal with them. He wasn't knew to mental health: Will had PTSD bad enough he used to black out. Ben suffered from nightmares and panic attacks. Frankie buried his depression in addiction.

Today was different. Other times the panic attacks came from general anxiety things. Life surrounding Santi... today, it was clear he triggered it. He felt awful, an absolute wreck, making you cry when all he ever wanted to do was make you smile. So, he helped calm you down, and when you were ready, he broached the subject. He had suspected for a while now that someone had hurt you, but seeing as the relationship was fairly new still he didn't think it was his place to ask.

Now, the two of you sit together on his bed, parallel. You couldn't look in his eyes.

"It's not stupid. I promise."

You huff, crossing your arms and sinking into the bed just a little. "The whole ankle thing wasn't even that actual night, but a few weeks before. It was college. I had this group of friends I worked with and partied with a lot. Usually at this one couples place where a fuck ton of people lived. It was my friends place so we got drunk and I crashed on the couch when everyone went to bed. I was passed out but not like... not unconcious. In and out of sleep I guess. This guy who lived there with his pregnant girlfriend, Kody, he sat on the other end of the couch and just... started touching my ankles and legs. Massaging kinda. He occasionally said things to me that I dunno... made me feel good I guess. Maybe he was calling me hot but I don't remember. I just remember I'd pull my leg away sometimes and he'd keep touching or would wait until I stretched out again. I never really liked my legs touched. Tickleish I guess. But he wouldn't quit. I had the distinct feeling if I fell asleep he'd um... touch more."

You can hear Santi take a deep breath. "But he didn't that night?"

You shake your head. "My friends boyfriend came out and grabbed him. Said something like 'what the fuck is wrong with you' or something. Then put him in his room where his girlfriend was."

"He knew he was trying something."

"Yeah, I guess."

"And they still stayed friends?"

You can't help chuckle darkly at the nievty. "bro's before hoes."

But Santi isn't having it.

"What- that not-"

"Would you really stop being friends with one of the guys if you knew they-"

"They wouldn't. They aren't like that."

"I know. But if they did."

"Gone. No questions asked." The resolution in his voice made you smile.

"Anyway." You sigh. "Doesn't matter because a few weeks later I partied with them again and it happened so. I did that to myself." The tears and shame well up in your eyes, and Santiago grabs your hand.

"It's not your fault, amor. It's his, only his. Your were a teenager."

"Old enough to know better."

"Stop it."

"Old enough to know I shouldn't have gotten turned on."

Santi remained quiet at that, letting you continue.

You rest your head on his shoulder. "I was horny. Like, mad horny back then. He kept feeding me drinks and for hours he would touch me whenever people weren't looking. I was so fucking drunk, Santi. Like, the kind where you just puke int he bathroom then go back to partying. After a while I didn't just go along with it I kinda... I touched him too." With that, you begin to cry and Santiago pulls you into his arms as you finish. "We went to my dorm and he... he followed me but I let him in and I didn't fight back, and and, and, it felt good and I hated that it felt good and I hated that he knew how to touch me and I hated that he was complimenting me the whole time and I just wanted it to stop! I wanted to start screaming, I wanted to but thought about how I touched him back and my friend saw us kiss and... I just knew there was no way to prove anything. I knew it would just be embarrassing. He was a shift lead at work and I was new and I just knew there was no way anyone would believe me..."

"Baby..." Santiago's heart was broken, holding you closely to him and wishing he had been there, wishing he could have protected you.

"Eventually I started passing out. Most of my memories of that night were blacked out anyway... I couldn't even get into the car by myself. I just kinda... gave up, I guess. I let sleep take take me and let him do whatever. Sometimes I woke up and just went back to sleep. I couldn't even lift my head anymore."

Santiago rubbed your back soothingly. It felt nice to have him there. You ran those two nights through your head again and again, all alone, it was such a comfort to be held by someone you trusted while you think throught it.

"What happened in the morning, baby love? Was he gone?"

You're griping his shirt tight. "No. He fell alseep in bed with me, in the shitty twin mattress I had lofted. I just... i remember his sticky skin. I think about that a lot. I was delirious still but needed to get away so I stumbled my way to the couch and slept for I don't know how long. Then my alarm went off and I needed to go to math class because I wasn't doing good. I had to.... I had to go back to my room and wake him up. I didn't wanna touch him but he needed to leave. I just remember thinking 'I have class, I can't miss class' which like... should be the least of my worries. Anyway he um... He got up eventually and walked home. I tried not to interact with him after that. I dropped out at the end of the semester." You rub your face on Santi's sleep shirt, aware you're getting snot on it.

"He um... it was.... inside... I was just in shock for the next week, you know? I didn't get any plan B and then it was too late... So I just prayed and prayed I wasn't pregnant. I don't know what I would have done, honestly, but their weren't any abortion clinics nearby so. Who knows. All I know is every time some old politician man wants to make a rule banning abortions, they'll never be 19 sobbing between classes in the bathroom begging for their period to come."

He let you cry for a while, let out all your sobs and heaves and snot while he rubbed your back, whispering sweet nothing into your ear. When it was done, when you'd cried it all out finally, Santiago pulls you onto his lap, straddling him. He cups your face in his hands, looking you directly in the eye so you could feel the honest in them. A single dark curl fell over his forehead.

"I love you. I believe you. I don't blame you." He tilts your head down to press a chaste kiss on your nose. "I don't blame you for how you felt when he manipulated your body. I don't blame you forgoing back and partying with him after he touched your legs. I don't blame you for not getting plan B or wanting to get to math class or touching him. If you were so drunk you could barely walk, if you were blacking out, there's not way he could have consented. You were innocent."

You hug him.

A tight, child-like hug, clinging to him like your lifeboat in a storm, the anchor that keeps you grounded.

This is what you needed to hear. You needed to know that even if you weren't this idea of the perfect victim, you were still a victim. You were taken advantage of raped by a man who saw you as simply something to use, and it wasn't your fault.

Thank you so much for reading.

The year after this hapened to me was really bad, almost loft my life a few times. Words cannot describe how badly this broke me as a person, and my friends were extremely worried about me.

Againn, this was extremely self indulgent. I needed to hear these words from my beloved Santi, my sweet man <3

I love you all, and it wasn't your fault.

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