#ultimately i know it's silly to be so invested

[tls12lessthan3]

So. orvs metatextual nature and gay jokes. orv is an action fantasy book, a genre designed primarily for men and starring men. now most of these books are not gay, but there is often a tendency by audiences (particularly female audiences) to see some level of romantic tension between male characters. orv is no exception to this. some authors respond with outright hostility when they see fans shipping their male characters, and some simply ignore it completely - but some go the route sing shong does, and play it for laughs. before i go any further, i would like to clarify a term i will be using - shippers. while this literally refers to readers who think there is romantic potential between two characters, i will be using to specifically refer to instances where those two characters are of the same gender. im doing this because i cant think of a more elegant word to be completely honest, and this is tumblr meta so who cares.

orv is a metatexual narrative which is aware of its genre and aware of its readers. those readers are represented in the narrative, and sing shong knowing that fans would see a possible relationship between kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk made sure to represent that too. so we get uriel, the fujoshi angel who is constantly reading into kim dokjas and yoo joonghyuks relationship in a way that is often played for laughs. now ive certainly seen worse depictions of ‘shippers’. uriel is treated with affection by the main characters, who genuinely like her (and the fans she represents by association). her love for joongdok is implied to come from her having a crush on her friend and projecting, which i see as a kinder depiction than the usual ‘slavering fujo’ trope. 

and perhaps most importantly her engagement with the story seen as just as deep as any other reader if not more so! uriel is one of the characters we see most changed by kim dokjas story - in every other universe shes a fierce and furious warrior, and while she never hesitates to kick ass in this round either, kim dokjas story has given her a solace that has made her significantly softer. she helps him out sooner than any other constellation, saving his ass in many ways during the demon world arc, demonstrating a deep investment we are clearly meant to be grateful for. wherever it comes from, uriels engagement with kim dokja’s story is shown to be a genuine and deep one appreciated by the characters. through this sing shong is almost directly speaking to the shippers in the fanbase who are often mocked or disregarded, saying that their love for the story is important too, wherever it comes from. i see this as sweet, and i like that unlike so many other authors sing shong recognise the role shippers often have in a story’s success.

however, i hesitate to give sing shong too much credit. because along with the genuine appreciation of uriel as a character and all she represents, there are jokes mocking her and those like her, and there are a lot of them! like i said above, sing shong wrote orv as a metatextual narrative that engages not just with the genre but with the genre’s fans. sing shong knew that people would ship their characters, as that is what happens with books like orv. and so they wrote in many jokes about it, jokes based around the ‘silliness’ of those who would assume kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk have romantic feelings for each other. and given orv’s metatexual nature, this also mocks the nature of shipping itself. when someone assumes kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk are together and they react with disgust, as frequently occurs in the earlier parts of the novel, we are meant to laugh not just at the misunderstanding - really, these guys gay, how silly. but we are also meant to laugh at the idea that these Protagonists are homosexuals, and at the people who make those assumptions. its a simultaneous acknowledgement and mocking of the queer undertones of both this story and it’s genre.

so you get this overall impression of a narrative that ultimately loves all of it’s readers, including shippers, but also isn’t afraid to say it thinks all that gay stuff is kinda silly. and while ebook edits have largely removed many of these gay jokes, an undercurrent of this still remains. from what i know this largely reflects sing shongs actual opinions at time of writing, whether or not they have changed later on. 

dont get me wrong, i love orv, i love joongdok, i love their relationship and i do read it as romantic. i too read the scene where lee gilyoung insists kim dokja is into men and kim dokja responds aghast and gone ‘haha, gay’. as a queer person in the webnovel scene i am no stranger to taking homophobic moments like that and reclaiming them, making the characters queer and pretending the author is laughing with me and not at me. im not trying to preach to anyone here. but i also think its important to acknowledge the conversation orv is having here - its valuing of shippers and its mocking of queerness, and where they overlap.

[gege-wondering-around]

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[anantaru]

“what’s your favorite color?”

alhaitham at the outset, first replies to your unexpected question with a bewildered look neighboring on his natural, graceful highlights before venturing to answer at last.

"i never concerned myself with that question." he says, crossing his arms around his chest— but a dart of curiosity seized him, there was a spark of interest in his eyes. as might be expected, how overly typical for the akademiya scribe and his tendencies to read into something a little too throughout.

"what would the reasoning behind it be?"

you felt a ripple of chuckles rise in your chest, "so i know what your favorite color is, silly." and alhaitham doesn't point his eyes away from you, they're stagnant, breezing from your brows to your lips and collarbones.

the distance you both shared wasn't that far as you assuredly slant your cheek against his strong shoulder while, at the same time, melt your palm on his slightly shaky thigh as you moved your lips to indicate a contented smile, "don‘t you think it‘s fun to get to know more about your partner?"

well, of course he did, that much goes without saying. but you must've misunderstood him, because alhaitham preferred it the other way around.

by extension, the man always favored to be a serene listener instead of an oversharing talker if anything— something about breaking through his concealed nature or showing a different, more hidden, side wasn‘t as easy from the get go as one might expect it to be.

"i guess." his voice had a surprise in it and a bit of a graveled edge, but he speaks in a firm tone. alhaitham scratches the back of his neck, adding on as a solution to this conversation gathered in his eyes and filled it.

"what’s your favorite color?"

"don’t even try to pull this around."

you bark back, laughing immediately, not even surprised he attempted to switch the situation around. with no punches pulled, for some reason you had seen it coming, ultimately bubbling with hilarity as you saw a sudden faint glint of a smile on your boyfriends lips, a silver like reticent.

"turquoise."

"what?"

"it’s turquoise."

this time, he spelled it out an octave underneath his heaves, as if almost embarrassed or shy to actually state it up more clear. the color in question he had conclusively picked out wasn‘t unknown to you by any circumstances— be it known, his spellbinding eyes were part turquoise, the same eyes you deeply fell in love with.

"is there a specific reason?" it's easier for alhaitham now and he had his own hand on top of yours— indicating the comfort barreling in his heart whenever he was with you.

that said, you had entirely grown invested in him, naturally there were many things interesting about alhaitham, but this time it felt a little more precise— a little more personal.

the near drawn following seconds, there was a warm silence, one that wasn’t defeating nor uncomfortable, it was refreshing and deemed as an effect in tune with alhaitham‘s deep pondering.

nonetheless, it chilled his heart and the man draws in his breath before exhaling through his parted lips.

"it reminds me of a family member."

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[pop-punklouis]

its interesting to see how one direction fans still think harry was forced to be separate. where as he's made it clear that he chose to leave the other boys behind and started planning his exit with azoffs way way before he let anyone know.

even keeping his songs for himself and not sharing time with the band.

which is good for him, but its the same as with liam, the one direction fans will cling to the fantasy of "boys" being good and only doing shady things when management forced them.

i mean people are hardly accepting liam could've been abusive to a girl fans arent invested in. why would they ever come consider the idea that baby boy harry cheated the fuck out and made his fame the top most priority. even at the cost of others. i think he chose it to be at the cost of others.

to be completely honest, i think this is such a black and white view of the band dynamic and leaves absolutely no room for the grey which very much dictated a lot of the inner workings of the band we never saw. harry isn’t a super villian and never was. neither was zayn for leaving the band.

if you truly believe that there wasn’t a very clear agenda to bring harry to the face of the band from the beginning which only amplified as his star persona got more obvious as the band got bigger and there was more $$$ to be had— especially over the image of harry, independently, then i think you’re the one who needs to reevaluate it.

these guys were all teenagers/early 20s at the height of their fame (the band ended when harry was 21 years old!!!!). the ego thrust on them and the decisions made that were part of that era were not just decided upon by one of them, like harry. and allowed to exist without careful consideration and input by their team. they were a machine. their brand was raking in so much more money than im sure is even fathomable. were a lot of the things these boys did savory during that time period? no. and i’m not saying harry didn’t involve himself in certain areas that were shit things to indulge. but, the idea that he was a mastermind behind being the face of the band and wanting more out of a career and doing shady things under the table to guarantee that is just so silly to me. he was 18-21 years old lmfao

sony knew that harry was going to be profitable for them regardless of if the band existed. and the azoffs obviously knew that. they had primed harry from the very beginning for what ultimately ended up happening with his solo career. to make things appear so black and white that there’s no room to even suggest that harry had a lot of people in his ear and a lot of power due to his platform in the band with industry heads is just so so silly to me. the influence people have who are so much more experienced and powerful than you, coaching you and guiding you on how you need to go about your independent brand— especially at such an impressionable age as he was is so much more believable than harry edward styles the super villian who broke up the band and had been secretly planning his exit for years without any remorse for any other member and was in it for fame and profit!!!! like be so serious.

these were kids who from the very start were primed by those who saw nothing but dollar signs over their heads. if that doesn’t fuck up logical thinking and decision making after being in that kind of bubble for years, i don’t know what does. i genuinely don’t believe anyone can make any sort of judgement like that on someone who lived such a different life at such a young age and demonize them for it without ever knowing what you would do in that situation. because we can scream “i would never!” or “that’s such a gross thing to do!” or “i couldn’t hang out with them or betray this person!” or “i could never be hellbent on fame!” all we want, but how would that change if you were actually in that position? no one can say for sure. and that’s where all the grey comes in.

and i do apologize i hate being all long-winded and ramble-y but ever since 2020 when all the boys started slowly but surely talking more authentically about their experience in the band….. there’s been such a window of grace for me when i think back on things that used to upset me or confuse me about some of the decisions that were made by all of them. perhaps it’s just growing up and experiencing life, but i just have a lot more grace for them and how things transpired during those last two years especially. i cannot imagine. which is why i believe all of their separate recollections and feelings about it all are valid because they did all experience it differently and interpreted it differently as the years went on.

so, i’m sorry. i understand there’s a more nuanced conversation to be had about harry styles™️ as a brand now. there’s been a lot of things in recent years regarding him that i acknowledge and i understand people’s issues with him. which is fine. but, i just don’t really care for such a harsh opinion of him when it comes to the end of the band and how things were handled from 2014-2016. it just seems silly to look at it like that— especially in 2024.

[carbonatedjem]

Tokomaru Week 2024 - Day 4 - Despair

Okay so up till now the way I've been picking prompts has been choosing which one I want to do for Syomaru Week (where I really wanna go all in on the art if I can), and then using whatever is left to use as my Tokomaru Prompt, which usually makes for a neat challenge. This is the only prompt so far where I actively chose it for Tokomaru week. I admittedly didn't know what I was going to do at first, since either ship seemed like I would have had to do some angst which personally I don't wanna indulge in for these shipping weeks (More power to those who are though, I can't wait to see em and you're way stronger than me). I almost just doubled up on the rainstorm prompt. But then I remembered MasterMind AU's are a thing, and then I further remembered that Evil Girlfriends are the coolest. And so we get an AU where Toko's the Mastermind and Komaru is essentially her Mukuro equivalent, except they're dating instead of being sisters. Also for further context on Makoto's reaction, i kinda imagine that in this AU Komaru was in the Killing Game with him instead of Junko (Mukuro is also in the game, but as herself. If you're wondering where Junko is, i dunno she's outside doin stuff??). Like Mukuro she died, but in her case she just full on faked her death.

Last detail, sorry for the long wall of text to go along with this, i accidentally got too invested. Toko is still the Ultimate Writing Prodigy when she's not discovered as the Ultimate Despair, in Komaru's case she's the Ultimate Girlfriend because I think that's very silly and fun, she's also Ultimate Despair of course.

I had a lot of fun with this pic! The designs especially, I kinda wanna do more with them but only time will tell if I do

[amerricanartwork]

Hi! I just wondered if you've played Hollow Knight based off how much you like Rain World. I'd be interested in any thoughts you had on it. :)

Thanks for the ask! No, I have not yet played Hollow Knight, BUT my interest in the game has been piqued! However I still have to see if the gameplay itself seems up my alley, or get invested enough in the characters that I want to discover more than I've already found out (and I have spoiled quite a lot for myself) before I actually decide to buy the game.

Regardless, from what I do know it does seem like an interesting story, albeit one far more tragic than Rain World's in my opinion. The characters I've seen are also pretty cool, both in design and personality. In fact, it was some ship fanart I found a few weeks ago that got me interested in diving deeper into the game once I realized it was where the featured characters were from, especially since one of the characters I had remembered hearing about before.

Here's a little sketch of some characters I was thinking about and whom I've been meaning to draw for a bit! Hornet because she's very Shaped™, Quirrel because from what I've seen he's quite wholesome, and Tiso because he was the first character I heard about and I think he's kinda silly!

Also, some more comparing/contrasting thoughts about the game below:

Firstly, I like how the premise of Kollow Knight involves anthropomorphic insects! It's something I never realized until recently despite being aware of HK for at least a few years, but I usually tend to take interest in stories starring non-humanoid creatures, so it's a plus! I also enjoy the more gothic/Victorian-looking magical high fantasy aesthetic, though it's pretty different from Rain World, which I'd consider far more sci-fi and specbio-esque in its aesthetic.

Now to get into themes, so far Hollow Knight seems to share Rain World's theme of lost/dead civilizations, which is also a very interesting premise to me! However, HK seems to have a greater focus on interacting with the people of its dying civilization and as such you get far more definitive knowledge about what happened to cause it to collapse. The player character seems to take on more of a classic epic hero role, because from what I've heard about the lore and endings, they end up directly influencing the fate of Hallownest, even potentially destroying or defeating the force that caused its ruin. The visuals have this very dark, cool tint overall to sell that gloomy, mournful vibe, and the structures, while presumably old, are still mostly smooth, ornate, and not super deteriorated, with these castle or manor-like appearances more similar to real-life buildings or things in other high fantasy works. Then, the orchestral music I've heard alongside all of these elements really creates this impression in me that it's aesthetic and overall concept is more akin to a high fantasy epic tale, albeit a rather tragic one.

Meanwhile, Rain World seem to have the player take more of an anthropologist role, observing and trying to piece together the story of vast remnants of its dead civilization, which seem alien and impossibly complex because so much of the history they're from has been lost to time. One of the core themes is being very small compared to these long abandoned structures, to really sell the idea that this history is so much older and more intricate than you'll ever know. The colors of Rain World are often warmer, which can be associated with old things, and the structures are far more weathered and broken down, with the only living survivors of the people who made them being the iterators, whom we only get to hear directly from two of. Combined with the focus on simulating an ecosystem, the more directly religious ideas within, the themes of natural cycles and an entire civilization evolving, changing, and ultimately disappearing over deep time, and the overall alien, sci-fi industrial designs of the architexture and strange creature designs that look like things out of "Of Rust and Humus" or some other alien speculative biology worldbuilding project make RW fit well in with that genre of fiction in my opinion.

Sorry if I seem like I kinda took a sudden shift there, but I wanted to talk about this contrast in artistic aesthetics and story genres for a moment because the "lasting impression" an art piece creates something I've recently concluded is pretty important overall in works of art, at least for mine!

But anyway, I hope these thoughts were satisfying for now! Thanks again for the ask!

[elvisqueso]

Pochontas (1995)

wiggins meta under the cut

here's the thing: ratcliffe is constantly being explained as a representation of the forces of greed and racism and colonialism/imperialism (arguably this can translate to capitalism as well), but what about wiggins? what is his role? he most obviously plays the role of the Fool, and provides a character for ratcliffe to have consistent dialogue with. but what does he represent?

i have a theory that wiggins is meant to represent the ethnic english, the culture of the english, and the willing servitude of the english to the evils of imperialism/greed/racism in exchange for a sense of superiority and security. wiggins is, paradoxically, both above and below the settlers in terms of status. he's a servant, but he serves the highest ranking man there. he's a yes-man, but he's also brutally truthful (spelling out for the audience ratcliffe's motivations and the immorality of the settler's presence and actions).

wiggins is also a caricature of the english to a T: he resembles many a self-styled stereotype of the typical englishman in english comedies. he's prim, a bit fussy, obsessed with gardening, a bit oblivious and silly and somewhat incessantly cheery. he's drawn, also, like an english caricature. his teeth and upturned nose in particular stand out to me.

the line "and he came so highly recommended" from each of these characters is so fascinating because of this because it highlights the mutual consent of these two allegorical characters to be involved with each other and subscribe to a master-servant dynamic, wherein ratcliffe has invested in wiggins to be useful and efficient, and wiggins has invested in ratcliffe to provide security both financially and socially. ratcliffe find's wiggins's personality (the cultural quirks of the english) trite and unnecessary. wiggins found ratcliffe's extremity to ultimately be outside of his own best interests once it could no longer protect him (ratcliffe being no longer able to provide the status and security once he was put in chains).

we can't be sure if wiggins has truly learned a lesson, however. he remains in America with some of the other settlers instead of returning to his homeland. we don't know what he intends to do there, or why he's made this choice. perhaps he's going to try turning over a new leaf and assimilate to a new society. perhaps he's going to try and influence his way into a similar position as before. in any case, we know wiggins's core motive is always going to be self-preservation. what that looks like without ratcliffe and the protections of aggressive imperialism, we simply don't know.

[cloudshuffle]

Hi, d for the request can I please have yandere Royal Jade x thief reader?

gem in the rough. yan!jade

nobility au

Her grace, the elegant, classy, duchess Jade, also has a penchant for being frightening.

So terrifying is she that it's said she can make grown men wet themselves at a single glance (this is untrue, on accounts that it was only one man who she caused to wet himself, and there were many other factors involved in his pants-wetting, so he says. I think it’s more amusing to leave it down to the duchess.)

Yet all rumours sprout from a seed of truth. Jade is a formidable individual, demoness or not, and it’d do anyone good not to cross her. She near monopolises the flow of jewels in and out of our borders, and as far as it’s been recorded, none of her ventures have ever failed. She’s wealthy. Some even say she’s more powerful than the emperor himself.

The duchess has an eye for valuable things; things that would pay her back tenfold, if invested in the right way. Despite her cutthroat methods, I know merchants who would kill to be in partnership with her - provided they get an audience with her first. Duchess Jade is a very difficult person to get a hold of.

Speaking of valuable things. I suppose it’s dangerous for a thief to keep a diary, yet here we are. I’ve been feeling rather… lonely and sentimental recently, something about how there might be no one to remember me by. Anyway. It’s been said that the duchess has in her possession something called the Dragon’s Eye - an exquisite, rare, lovely jewel that would buy me not only my freedom out of these borders, but also a life beyond them. I have someone who’s willing to pay.

I do intend to acquire it for myself.

I’ve been watching the duchess’ estate for a period of time now, and I’m quite confident I’ll be able to slip in easily tonight. After that, well, let’s just hope the plans to the castle are up to date. If they aren’t, this will be my first and last entry, which is amusing in a way.

Though aren’t my best heists always the ones less planned?

In confidence, (Name).

I have to admit, the duchess herself isn’t the only frightening thing about her estate.

Security is nearly watertight, and I nearly got mauled at least thrice tonight. But humans are ultimately foolish creatures, and I managed to trick the guards at the outer walls into thinking their mutts were acting up at a squirrel. Still, I thought my heart would jump out of my throat.

The guards in the corridors? Less perceptive than the maids. Those twittery ladies never miss the slightest bit of gossip to pass around. I slipped into a uniform, hinted that the stable boy had his eye on the duchess, and slipped out quickly as they begun speculating on what might happen. He does have quite the looks. Shame he might be fired soon.

And finally I was close enough to slither into her jeweller’s vault, right underneath the guard’s feet. Or the carpet under them. It was a tight, unpleasant squeeze, but what’s playing pretend as a snake compared to my future on the line?

Rumour had it that Jade’s vault was manned by a host of the continent’s best lapidarists, all chained to their desks and made to slave away to produce only the best jewels for her. That rumour always seemed a little silly to me. Didn’t people work best when they were well-fed and happy? But there were no lapidarists. In fact, there wasn’t a single soul in that chamber, not even a guard.

The carpeted floor ate up all sound, and the gems sparkled silently in clear cases. I probably could have stolen the cushions they rested on and fetched a small fortune - the workmanship and the gold embroidery spoke enough.

But I was here on a mission. And though I usually turn away at the sign that something might go awry, maybe it was the temptation of my reward, or maybe it was the sight of the jewel that drove me on.

Fiery red and deepest purple laced with the richest gold. Lovely didn’t even begin to describe such a jewel. Though an eye for aesthetics didn’t come with the job, I think even a blind man could simply feel its beauty radiating from it.

The gold in the middle did somewhat resemble an eye. And I took it with gloved hands and slipped it into a velvet pouch.

Leaving was easy. The compound was designed to keep people out rather than in, and I made it back to my temporary quarters without fuss. I deposited the jewel safely (even I’m not foolish enough to note down where it is), and satisfied at having a job well done, decided to treat myself to a drink at the bar downstairs.

There was a lovely lady at the bar with a presence about her. She looked normal enough with a nondescript cloak and brown hair (save the covering across the lower half of her face), but she didn’t feel normal, and so all the other patrons were giving her a wide berth, even raging drunk. I was in no mood to contend with rowdy, stinking men, so I took up the empty seat next to her.

“Good evening,” she said to me, and I had to sigh. Conversation really wasn’t on my agenda for the day, but she must have misunderstood. “Long day?”

“Sure,” I replied. “Just got home from work.”

“So late!” she exclaimed. “You must be working very hard.”

I shrugged. “I suppose I do.”

Conversation died down, and she left shortly after that. She did tell me she was looking forward to seeing me again.

I wonder what she meant.

Yours unsurely, (Name).

With much difficulty, I’ve finally managed to make contact with the buyer! Pardon the excitement, but we’ve arranged for a meeting at the docks tonight, where they’ve already arranged passage for me. I asked why they weren’t worried about me running off with the jewel, and they said that I likely didn’t want to keep it in my possession any longer.

Which is… true. It’s hard to find a buyer for such a high profile object, but harder still to keep it around me. I’ve been checking on it every day, and I’ve noticed that I feel… somewhat queasy around it. Like it’s a drain on my energy.

Hey, I didn’t survive this long without being at least a little superstitious.

That aside, it was discovered that the jewel went missing sometime in the night that I stole it. Though it’s an important item, the upper echelons seem more interested in covering up the theft than issuing a public notice. I suppose I understand. How would it look if not even the nobility had safe, secure homes?

Regardless, as long as it doesn't harm me, I suppose the jewel and I can coexist for a day longer. And I'll let the stone keep its secrets. It’s not much longer before it’ll be off my hands.

Looking forward to the future, (Name).

I’m writing this entry by candlelight, still sweaty and breathless from escaping from that place.

I made my way to the docks once the sun set. The Eye was heavy in my pocket, but in some way, I felt like the weight of my future was finally in my hands.

I was feeling unusually optimistic. And I’ve learnt, thankfully, that that’s when things go wrong.

Like any respectable thief might, I concealed myself amongst the many crates and boxes waiting quietly to be brought inland the next day. Making the first appearance is always foolish. My boat, supposedly, bobbed quietly on the water with not a soul in sight. Not unusual - the sailors would all be inland at the moment, causing ruckus at the taverns. But it didn’t help to reassure me any better.

Shortly after, a trio of horses and riders come down the docks. Not the most discreet way to get somewhere, and definitely not the level of caution I would expect from someone about to attain the Dragon’s Eye. I knew I was right to be suspicious.

The lady in the middle got off first - I knew she was a lady despite the cloak because she rode side-saddle. Also another unusual detail in this day and age. The other two men at her side moved with a familiarity that I didn’t like; the kind that reminded me of trained soldiers and patrolling troops. They didn’t stir up particularly happy memories. When one of them moved, I caught a glimpse of sheathed blade under his cloak.

Two soldiers. And a noble lady.

I knew this, because Duchess Jade lifted the hood off her face in one smooth motion, her pink curls tumbling out like a cascade of silk.

I bit back a gasp. Because seeing the duchess up close, I recognised her too - the same lady who’d just sat next to me at the inn bar. No matter how she’d changed her hair, using magic or otherwise, it was definitely still her, aura and all.

“My dear master thief.” Her voice rang out, clear and full of authority. I knew immediately that confrontation wasn’t an option. “I know you’re hiding somewhere. You’ve done such a wonderful job, attaining the Dragon’s Eye. Do show yourself so I can present you with your reward.”

From under her cloak, she pulled out a drawstring bag, large and heavy with coin. Jade shook the bag as if to prove its contents, then retrieved papers and slipped those inside too.

“More credit, and legitimate papers for your safe passge.” She patted the bag. “This offer won’t last forever, master thief. Or should I call you, (Name)?”

By the time she finished her sentence, I was already gone.

I pick up this entry, once again by candlelight, once again fleeing.

The duchess knew where I was staying, which gave me valuable time to pack what little I had and sneak onto a transport cart. Once out of the city, I hopped off and hitched a more legitimate ride with another cart. Not that I trusted these people not to rat me out, but there was no way I was stopping any of these men in the dark without giving them a fright.

I’m on my way towards the border. The Eye is still heavy in my pocket, sitting quietly like an obedient child. I hadn’t known what to do with it, and figured it might be better to carry it with me, in case I needed to barter for something valuable. Like a life.

This journal will have to take backseat for now. I get the feeling I need to jump carts soon.

(Name).

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Okay, so.

We all know Louis is an amazing leader, whom we love dearly.

(If you’re not on board with this, get on board, I guess; I’ve already written about that)

But. When and where did he get good at this? Because for as much as I, you, and he love his brothers…no.

Just no.

We do see him starting his delegation tactics pretty early—mostly with Moran. It doesn’t work out especially well because Moran is Moran and doesn’t really have any interest in having a leader that’s not William, but honestly, Louis…wasn’t the best at delegating back then.

A lot of his early leadership/delegation/control was very forceful, inelegant, and focused on small, petty things that didn’t really matter. He’s always had the ultimate vibe of, “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” Even when it comes to Moran—if he wants Moran to actually do his chores, he has to be very active and hands on about it.

He doesn’t trust enough to lead and delegate. And this even extends to his brothers. He loves them until the sun dies, but he always questions William and his plans, even if he ultimately agrees with William’s goals and wants to support him. He doesn’t trust Albert for ages and ages and eventually accepts him as a brother after literally murdering people together, but he never relies on Albert to do anything for him. As much as he loves and trusts them, and as much as they protect him…Louis doesn’t ever ask them to handle something for him.

Louis, even very early on, was trying to get control of things because not being in control meant everything was going to go sideways. He always had input to add and questions to raise and arguments to make, and they all involved him doing more, more, more.

But when we see him after the timeskip…that’s all fallen away.

Oh, he’s still in charge and issuing the orders to everyone else. And he’s still present and involved and fairly hands on. But he’s no longer micromanaging what other people are doing. He gives them their roles, and steps back to trust them to do their jobs. When he steps in during The Adventure of the Empty Hearts, it’s not to do other people’s jobs for them. He’s making sure they have the space necessary to do their own jobs. He divides up tasks and gives himself his own tasks that keeps him from hovering over everyone else.

And the first time we see him do that?

Sherlock Holmes.

Asking Sherlock to save William was the first time Louis had to ask someone to do something he simply did not have the ability to do himself. It was the first time, “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself,” was utterly unapplicable. Louis had already tried, and he’d failed.

So he reached out to someone he knew did have the skills, and passed the task onto him, without asking for details, without hovering and micromanaging and needing to know how things were happening and why.

He simply had to trust that Sherlock Holmes, someone he didn’t even like and had no reason whatsoever to trust to care or be invested, could and would do something if he asked.

And it was the first time he had to ask for something he cared about that much. Chores, ultimately, don’t matter. The details of William’s silly Shakespeare reenactments, ultimately, don’t matter. Exactly how they follow William’s orders in Baskervilles, ultimately, doesn’t matter.

The end result does.

And Sherlock Holmes taught Louis that, because it was the only option Louis had, and it was something so desperately dear to Louis’s heart, that he wanted done right so deeply that he learned to give up control and to trust that someone else had it handled.

And so I think in many ways Sherlock Holmes was the birth of Louis as M.

Even if Louis will never, ever want to admit it.

[hauntingofhouses]

arcane rant. spoilers for all of season 2 #caitlyn-critical

yeah okay i was scared to say this which is SILLY but ALAS. anyway yeah seeing that im not the only one i feel like i have to get this off my chest as well.

i wanted to give caitlyn a chance in season 2, especially in the beginning of this season during her """corruption""" arc wherein she was turning into a tyrant and a bad guy. because see, to me that was caitlyn at her best. not as a person but as a character. before this she was just so uninteresting and downright annoying to me, but starting with s2e1 i started really enjoying where the writers were taking her journey. i would've loved to see her continue down that path and caitvi evolving from reluctant allies to lovers and then perhaps to enemies-WHILE-lovers. i wouldve loved seeing caitvi hatefucking, and i thought that was where this arc was taking her. but no, instead she's still the good one, while maddie turned out to be the bad guy all along. plot twist! but it made me feel nothing but more annoyance not only at caitlyn but also at the way the narrative seems to baby caitlyn and excuse her for everything despite the supposed anti-cop messaging intrinsic to the way vi was written throughout season 1.

i understand that caitlyn's whole thing in season 1 is that she's a naive rich girl just trying her best in the ways she knows how, and that's by being a cop. like yes i get that, which is why i didnt mind her very much and gave her a chance to grow, and even though i didn't care for her as a character at all because she's boring AND a cop, i did like that she was in the story as vi's love interest, and primarily served the story in that role.

but when season 2 decides to give her a bigger role and allow her to shine on her own, they do a good job! until... they don't. because caitlyn still has to be a good guy, because she's SO loyal to vi. and why? the two barely know each other, they're attracted to each other but I don't understand why and how caitlyn could so easily put aside all her rage and grief and desire for vengeance and retribution, to be loyal to vi. to betray ambessa and work with jinx?

like i think my biggest problem is how little conflict there is for vi and cait to end up fucking in that prison cell. like if it was angry hate fucking, that would be perfect and honestly a natural followup if you really do wanna implement a sex scene right there and then. but it wasn't. instead it felt more like "okay my suicidal sister gave me her blessing to fuck you so i can finally do it now yippeee" meanwhile jinx literally went to kill herself over and over again while ekko had to keep trying to talk her down.

like the thing is i'm here for the drama and im here for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and i'm here for character development. but more than anything else i'm here for the drama where vi and jinx's story as sisters, as family, is ultimately the driving force of the story. so for them to just push that aside SO quickly, felt JARRING. like "okay sister MOVE i wanna fuck this cute cop who was acting like a tyrant in the city for the past few months (?), and btw the cute cop works for an institution that killed my parents and destroyed our whole lives ❤️ #lovewins"

like okay. i dont mind if the final ending finds both jinx and vi distanced and estranged because they both need to heal and move on from the past (and each other) in order to grow and invest love in their own new found families. but for it to have been done just like that, for caitvi to get together in the same prison cell where vi's suicidal sister had just been suffering in mental agony and grief... I don't know. i don't like it.

[burr-ell]

If it's alright, can I ask why you like the Golden Deer house more than the Blue Lions or Black Eagle houses? Like, what caught your eye about them over everyone else?

So I actually got into FE3H through a friend of mine, @dar-draws, who I already knew through mutual good taste (Dickkory), and fanarts like this one, this one, and this one plus the way she talked about Claude and Claudeleth caught my attention. I watched a couple playthroughs of the Golden Deer route on YouTube and absolutely fell in love (before finally getting a switch just to play it myself, for which I was violently bullied here). So like, I was already going into the game biased, which is part of why when I got it I went ahead and played through Golden Deer before doing all the other routes in turn; it was genuinely important to me to personally see all sides of the story. But even as I've played the other routes and replayed SS and AM and gained even more of an appreciation for them, I'm still always sort of drawn back to VW and the Deer.

I think it's ultimately vibes-based, but I'll try to articulate it. I'm not really a big fan of "cozy" sorts of games—I've played and enjoyed ACNH, but the things I most enjoyed about that game were finding things to do and goals to complete, like completing the main quest line or filling up the museum. So it's not so much that I find the Golden Deer to be cozy so much as adventurous. They're not inherently personally invested in the conflicts of White Clouds (they don't know Lord Lonato or Miklan, and their house leader isn't [gestures generally]), but they're also not just ping-ponging through the story. They go through the same events as the other two houses, but they're coming at it from more of an outsider's perspective, and their choice to get involved and react and respond feels more active.

The Deer also don't have any real reason to follow Claude, either, and in the early game they make sure he knows it; none of them are really all that concerned that they're speaking to the future Grand Duke of their country. Lysithea snaps at him, Leonie shoots the breeze with him, Raphael is jovial with him, Lorenz undercuts him, Hilda is blase with him, Marianne tries not to talk to him, and Ignatz gets into theological debates with him. Over the course of the game, they develop the same loyalty to Claude that the other house members already have for their leaders almost by default, and it feels a lot more earned because we see it happen. And that in turn makes scenes like the one at Myrddin, where Claude reveals his true goal of opening the border with Almyra and embracing foreign cultures and the other Deer are surprised but trust Claude and follow his lead, that much more satisfying.

I was a little surprised, when I played through the other three routes, that aside from the designated talking-with-the-cast scenes every route gets, the characters who aren't house leaders or retainers don't really have all that much to do in the story. On Verdant Wind, you pretty consistently have members of the Golden Deer appearing in other cutscenes and giving their two cents; there's even a unique scene where Lysithea realizes there's something up with the Empire's mages because of her backstory and approaches Claude and Byleth about it. It's nothing too obtrusive—they do still have to accommodate the potential for character death—but it's those small details that make a difference to me. Every house has a particular dynamic with odd silly quirks, but the Deer being just that little bit more integrated into the story really helps sell the idea that they belong here and they're making this story their own.

There's also the matter of where specifically their adventure takes them. I respect the choice to focus on Dimitri in Azure Moon, because it does handle his character and arc very well and I think also does the other Lions justice (with the exception of Dedue), but it's also focused largely on Dimitri's personal arc and the Tragedy of Duscur and doesn't really follow through on a lot of the events of White Clouds. (Which some Blue Lions stans have been okay with because they think the Agarthans are bad villains, which...that's valid, but stories still have to like, address plot elements they set up.) Verdant Wind, by contrast, does actually pull back and try to figure out the real impetus behind the whole conflict, and it ends with them beginning to properly lay Fodlan's true problems to rest.

So while the route isn't flawless and I do think there are issues with how characters are written that are part of larger trends within the game and the series as a whole, there's a very specific kind of fantasy adventure energy with the Golden Deer that I enjoy. I think the stories I'm most drawn to are the ones that keep their eyes on a specific goal but still make you feel like the characters would bring that same energy to goofing around with each other, and I think that's something Verdant Wind does very well.

[ominus-potato]

Hi, just wanted some advice about fanfics on ao3, how do you write them? and how can I make my one shot fic impactful for the readers. I'm planning on making a fic but since it's my first time making I kinda don't know where to start.. It's fine if you don't know though! just thought of asking cause you're writing's really good imo.

Sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series at the end!

Well when I write, I don’t do it on AO3. I draft my work on Wattpad and then cross-post it to AO3. This is because AO3 is a bit more complicated, can be dodgy with saving works and only work when I have Wi-Fi. With Wattpad, I can write offline which is very helpful. Some people also draft on google docs so there’s that as well.

In terms of ACTUAL writing, there are two ways to leave an impression on the reader. There’s the way liked with angst, pain and maybe a bit of comfort; and there’s the way of making a story so sickeningly sweet that the reader is gushing over every cute moment. The length of the story also plays a factor. If it’s under 4000 I’d recommend avoiding angst bc you don’t have much time to set it up and at it off effectively.

Personally, I pretty much never write angst unless I genuinely believe it’ll make a story better. I’ve read fics before where the author will just throw in a shit ton of angst for no reason other than to make the reader feel bad for the mc and it just feels really cheap. It’s hard to do angst right and it’s really tempting to just give everyone a super fucked up backstory and make them depressed or something but imo it’s just overdone to the point of exhaustion. It can make a story depressing and no longer a fun read.

Whenever I write angst, it’s a small part of a mostly fluff-filled story. Take the pining Mario series for example. 19,000 words of silly pining hyjinx with a few small drops of angst. Then have the angst bubble over a little in Shots and Cowboys, Mario has a small breakdown since we’ve been keeping up with the story from his perspective mostly. That then allows me to forward the story and give character a new motivation.

If youre going to use angst to get an emotional reaction, you MUST have good set up and pay off. Especially if it’s a longer story. Also, you don’t have to do this, but I’d recommend against adding angst unless it’s necessary. Don’t just throw it in there Willy nilly yk?

If you wanna know how I do my stories, I really enjoy making them sweet and adorable with a little bit of drama and comedy. Like “Love is not a foreign language” where it’s just Mario and Mr Puzzles being adorable as hell for 6000 words. Then the drama comes when Puzzles reveals he can understand Mario and that only leads to more cutesy love.

A lot of it comes down to the story you’re trying to tell and how you want your reader to react. When I write a story, I want my readers to be invested in the drama and rising tensions, enjoying the little spurts of comedy here and there and ultimately, finding the main ship really cute in the end. I try to make people happy with my work bc I write the kinda stuff I would love to read! Because if I would read it, someone else definitely would.

Also, I feel like I must add that I have only ever written ship stories. If you wanted advice on stories in general with no shipping then I wouldn’t really know how to advise you on that. I love relationships between characters. Whether it’s ships or friendships. It’s my favourite part of any fandom so it’s where I specialise in my work.

Sorry I don’t really have like a plan or anything. I just keep it all in my head, know a few plot points I want to hit, and write to them. I try to get around 3-5 plot points for my longer stories and then just 1 or maybe 2 for the shorter ones. I sometimes add them as I go if I think it’ll make the story better!

For example, my plot points in Shots and Cowboys were:

•Mario tries to buy Puzzles a drink

•Mario and Mr Puzzles are interrupted by Wren and Mario is jealous

•Mario and Wren do something to fight for Puzzles’ affection (IE, play pool)

•Mario looses Puzzles to Wren, sees them kiss and is devastated.

•Mr Puzzles thinks that Mario is heartbroken over SMG4 and promises to help him move on.

Then if I get any smaller points like certain ships, lines, dynamics or interactions I wanna add I just sprinkle them in where I can.

I don’t really have much advice outside of that. I tend to just think of a scene or an idea I’d love to write and then more ideas pop up around it. It’s just one major point that gets built around. IE, Mario being jealous was the premise of SAC purely just because there were a few jealous Puzzles stories and I wanted to see if I could switch the dynamic.

Sorry for the long wall of text. I just wanna make sure it’s detailed enough for you. Just make it up as you go along and write what you wanna read. I re-read my stuff all the time because I genuinely enjoy what I write and it gives me exactly what I want. Have fun with it!

And if you’re worried about it being terrible, I’d advise you to read my old Lego Ninjago fanfiction that I wrote when I was 13. My god it was awful. But it shows development!

First story:

Latest story:

Enjoy that sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series :D

[pebblume]

I never realized how liberating writing fanfiction would be. I hadn’t written creatively in years. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like. The childlike rush of pouring your heart out onto a blank page, not caring about the results as long as you were having fun. I’ve tried writing fanfic a couple of times, for different fandoms across the years, but never finished anything I was really happy with, nothing that I felt comfortable sharing with the world. But something just clicked for me this past week. I realized how much fun it was to stretch out my writing muscles, to get inside the heads of my favorite characters. I realized that it didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of being shared and loved by others. I realized that I had so many stories inside myself - more than I thought possible. 

But perhaps what I’m most in awe of is fanfic readers. The people who read my work and leave kudos and bookmarks and comments - one word comments, sweet comments, silly comments, paragraph-long comments. I love them all. I used to be afraid of leaving comments on AO3, afraid I wouldn’t have enough words, wouldn’t have the right words, to depict how I felt. But when I felt firsthand how much those comments meant to me I started leaving more and more of them, spreading a digital paper trail of love to all my favorite authors. More and more often I recognize the profile names and images in my comment section and think, Hey, I know you! Now I’m not just a guest on AO3, or a passive reader. I belong here. 

I won’t lie and say I don’t miss drawing a bit, my previous creative outlet. There are plenty of drawings inside me too, itching to be realized. I really just don’t have the time for two time extensive hobbies, not when I need to balance school and practicing and little things like sleeping and eating and relaxing. I miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. There’s a level of investment to sharing a story online that feels…special. When I post my art, I get engagement, and it feels nice, but ultimately, most people are only spending about ten seconds looking at the work I spent eight hours on, if that. When someone reads my fics, we’ve now spent time together. You’ve lived inside my head for a bit, made it your home. It’s about feeling seen, I think. Writing makes me feel understood in a way visual art sometimes doesn’t. It makes me feel vulnerable in the same way performing music does, but less exposed too. It’s interesting to me. 

The only downside, if you can call it that, is now that the writing bug has infected me, I’m finding it harder and harder to stop. I’ll have an idea and then suddenly five hours have flown by because I’m on a creative streak and I just want to write one more idea down, which turns into two, and so on and so forth. I dread stopping, because what if I forget something? What if I get into a writing block later? Suddenly I have people who want to read the things I write and I want to provide it, I really do, but I also have responsibilities. I say, as I write this, ignoring my audition tomorrow afternoon. 

I still have a bit of embarrassment attached to fandom works. When I tell acquaintances that I like to draw or write, I rarely tell them I mean fanart and fanfiction. As if loving something that deeply, that sincerely, is inherently shameful in this age of irony and soulless remakes. Especially when my interests usually consist of media marketed towards children, nevermind the fact that it has more emotional maturity than most ‘adult’ works. But I’m trying to get better about it. A lot of my closest friends know about my hobbies, and some I’ve even let see my work. It’s terrifying but also giddying, seeing them like an art post or comment on a fic. After all, to reap the rewards of being loved, one must submit themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known, or something like that. 

I realized today that I’ve written over 30,000 words in the past two weeks about about two characters who don’t belong to me, but whom I’ve made my own.

And I’ve never felt happier

[vangbelsing]

Time for my ten morbillionth vent post for Veilguard. Or more accurately, me bellyaching about my very specific nitpicks that most other people will not have. Not really gonna include spoilers, but I'll add a cut since I'm certain not everyone is keen to read yet another complaint post for this game. So if you're not interested in reading a huge vent post about Rook, go ahead and skip this.

I have to say, for as much as I like the game, I think all of my pre launch anxieties were well founded. Rook is actually everything I assumed they would be, and I do not mean that as a compliment. And no, I'm not upset that pre launch headcanons are largely not applicable to Rook, but I do think that Rook is several steps back from the Inquisitor. I've always maintained that Inky was one of the best rpg protagonists in any of the games I've played, and this has just solidified it.

Inky was perfect to me. They couldn't be evil, but you had so many opportunities to flesh out who they are, what they believe, their personality and what their life was like before. And despite Veilguard having a wider variety of options for customizing your characters background, it actually feels more rigid than DAI. Not only does Rook feel less like my character in terms of their personality, a lot of their background, regardless of what you picked, feels more set.

I also have a huge beef with how Rook is treated. Where the Inquisitor was age ambiguous and could ultimately be played as pretty much any age you wanted, with only a handful of places where it could be argued to that the dialogue might come off as immersion breaking, Rook is treated like they're fresh out of college at oldest, constantly being called "kid" or having characters bring up their youth. Not only does it feel restrictive in terms of character building, I'm personally just legitimately sick of being forced to play 20 somethings for every single game. My characters age should be a choice, or ideally, not brought up at all. What is the point in letting me customize my character to look older or mature if you're just going to practically ruffle their hair and call them a silly scamp no matter what I do?

(And yes, before anyone brings it up, I'm painfully aware that DAO and DA2 are actually guilty of this as well. DAO being the even worse example, considering you can not only make your character look 87 while having an older brother look younger than you are or a cousin of similar age look like your grandchild, but every one of your family members, no matter your origin, is always white, even if you are not. So literally every DA game has handled that better than Origins.)

I feel like, in some ways, BioWare knows their player base too well, and that's both good and bad. I think they know their players will ultimately ignore things and rewrite/headcanon things for themselves, and I think that will often lead to them deciding something isn't worth investing in since the fans will just do the work themselves. And I don't want that to come off as vitriol towards the team or an undermining of the effort that went into this game. I know it was hell, and I know that time, budgeting and other things had an impact on what the team was able to do, but I feel like deciding to make Rook some young 20 year old that apparently is oblivious by default wasn't so much an accident caused by development problems so much as it was a choice. You should be able to play your Rook that way, certainly, but in an rpg about choice, shouldn't you be able to... Idk, roleplay and choose??

I'm just disappointed because I thought the Inquisitor was almost perfect, and Rook feels like a massive downgrade. In a game for which one of the core pillars was lauded as "be who you want to be," it's just a bit of a letdown that I'm less able to be who I want to be than in any DA game before, except for maybe DA2. And it's doubly upsetting, because in some areas, Veilguard is actually so good about roleplay. Getting to choose your characters identity, getting to decide whether Rook is a virgin or if they have experience, etc. Smaller things like that feel so personal, but they're so few compared to the parts that feel like my choices for who Rook is aren't meaningful.

I just don't think I should have to shake my head and go "nuh uh" every time my Rook speaks in order to build a character that I find enjoyable to play. And I say all of this as someone who genuinely enjoys this game. The game has its issues, but I truly do find it such an enjoyable experience. Except for Rook. My Rook in my mind is so different from how I can make them due to how limited the rp is, and that's never been the case for a Dragon Age game before.

That's it, that's the post. If you got to the end, I'm SO SORRY you had to read my whining. Have a random Emmrich for your trouble 🙏

[sosoribro]

rouxls kaard and the theme of freedom: just trust me bro

now listen. i know rouxls is just the funny blue idiot man with the confusing-to-pronounce name and the funny duck, and its likely that he'll just remain the silly comic-relief guy for the whole game. and honestly i love that. i think that would be really funny.

(YAP SESH INCOMING)

HOWEVER

freedom. lets talk about freedom. you know, that reoccuring concept we all know and love. freedom. choice. one's own autonomy.

now lets look at rouxls again. what is he? the rules card. whats a point that comes up time and time again when discussing this character? in a deck of cards, the rules card has almost no significance whatsoever, and exists for just that: the rules. as a result, it is often discarded. it is considered useless.

but look at how rouxls views himself, and look at how he carries himself. it is so easy to say that he thinks he's better than everyone, and that he truly is nothing but a stuck-up, vain man who's too stupid to even see that he's well... stupid.

or is he? (legitimate question!!! here's a potential answer????)

because he seems fixated on working for someone. anyone, it seems. so here we have someone who considers himself to be absolutely intelligent, capable, powerful, and just generally better than everyone else, yet still wants to settle for second-in-command? he contradicts himself. but why?

so back to the card thing. the rules card is ultimately in a deck to help.

and rouxls kaard seems desperate to help. to assist. to serve. but that makes sense, considering that as the rules card, that is his purpose.

and what if he knew that?

so this is the part where i realize that im way too invested in this character and will really take ANYTHING as evidence for my probably-not-canon lore that's canon in my mind and only in my mind. stop reading right now if you dont like that.

anyway

rouxls lists long walks in the dungeon as one of his hobbies.

and who's in the dungeon?

THATS RIGHT. I AM BRINING THIS GUY UP:

YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM, ITS JEVIL YEAH I EVEN DRAGGED JEVIL INTO THIS SO YOU KNOW IM IN TOO DEEP

so anyway ignoring how far-fetched this is what if hypothetically rouxls wandered down to jevil's cell and somehow learned that it was all just a game yada yada yada and in the process, learned that providing rules and helping until he is inevitably discarded is simply his role.

and so, his personality is as stuck-up and high-and-mighty as it is because he wants to feel important. he needs to feel important, otherwise he'll be thrown away.

he needs to be of use to someone, but can not stand going ignored.

in being so willing to submit to whoever's in power, he denies himself freedom.

so long story short: hey guys what if rouxls actually knows hes useless and mostly discarded. how does he know? idk jevil maybe told him??? but maybe thats why hes so desperate to work for someone, but is so full of himself at the same time? because he wants to feel needed and important, because he knows that the rules card gets thrown away. again, jevil probably told him iunno

and thats how rouxls totally links to the theme of freedom guys totally a billion percent canon i am definitely so normal about him

NOW ALTERNATIVELY HE COULD ALSO JUST BE FUNNY STUPID MAN I DUNNO

[thydungeongal]

what r ur top 3 ttrpgs?

Oh that's a really tough one! I know what two of them are but it's the third one that's giving me trouble. Oh, okay, I've got it now! These are in no particular order because ultimately these are all very different types of games for different purposes.

Rolemaster. Big surprise there. Rolemaster is kind of a crunchy mess but I am extremely fond of it. It's a game that requires a lot of investment because character creation is very intensive. But once you start rolling on those tables, hoo baby. It's good. Every attack, every spell, every maneuver is a chance for some extremely random bullshit to happen and completely throw everyone's plans off balance, and that unpredictability and randomness is what I adore about TTRPGs.

Monsterhearts. This PbtA game of playing horny fucked up teenage monsters is a masterpiece of design and genre emulation. It is like if you threw Jennifer's Body, Ginger Snaps, the Vampire Diaries, and Carrie in a blender and made an RPG out of the resulting sludge. Strangely enough, I don't think it's necessarily the best PbtA game: I think Apocalypse World is still the best in that regard. But Monsterhearts as a whole is so explosive and melodramatic and powerful.

Basic/Expert D&D: I'm not entirely a D&D hater and I actually think TSR D&D was really good at times! The Basic/Expert set (specifically the 1981 version) is one of my favorite RPGs ever because it is ultimately a simple dungeon game that does everything it needs to do! And like, it is also a very silly game where Elf and Dwarf and Halfling are classes and the look and feel is a weird mix of like guys in proper medieval attire and then there's also like a Magic-User in star-spangled pajamas. It, or Old School Essentials, a modern retroclone of it, is my go-to system when I want to run the dungeon game.

Honorary mentions: AD&D 2e, D&D 3.5, D&D 4e, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e, Apocalypse World, Godsend, Traveller 1e, Paranoia 1e, Fellowship, etc. etc.