#ultimately i know it's silly to be so invested

[afterthefeast]

one thing i am finding so interesting about eight is that his desire not to alienate people by being deceitful and manipulative like seven means that in order to keep them around and not end up so lonely again he lies to them constantly and is in fact deceitful and manipulative

[autistic-evil-xisuma]

image: a screenshot from a th3pooka animation of evil xisuma sitting on their throne.

the incoherent essay in the tags is entirely on you op. for telling me to talk about ex when it's after my bedtime. i was going to say a whole lot more but i ran out of tags so im going to take that as a sign from god to shut the up.

Hey, do me a favor.

Share your opinions on this bugger. /threat

[tls12lessthan3]

So. orvs metatextual nature and gay jokes. orv is an action fantasy book, a genre designed primarily for men and starring men. now most of these books are not gay, but there is often a tendency by audiences (particularly female audiences) to see some level of romantic tension between male characters. orv is no exception to this. some authors respond with outright hostility when they see fans shipping their male characters, and some simply ignore it completely - but some go the route sing shong does, and play it for laughs. before i go any further, i would like to clarify a term i will be using - shippers. while this literally refers to readers who think there is romantic potential between two characters, i will be using to specifically refer to instances where those two characters are of the same gender. im doing this because i cant think of a more elegant word to be completely honest, and this is tumblr meta so who cares.

orv is a metatexual narrative which is aware of its genre and aware of its readers. those readers are represented in the narrative, and sing shong knowing that fans would see a possible relationship between kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk made sure to represent that too. so we get uriel, the fujoshi angel who is constantly reading into kim dokjas and yoo joonghyuks relationship in a way that is often played for laughs. now ive certainly seen worse depictions of ‘shippers’. uriel is treated with affection by the main characters, who genuinely like her (and the fans she represents by association). her love for joongdok is implied to come from her having a crush on her friend and projecting, which i see as a kinder depiction than the usual ‘slavering fujo’ trope. 

and perhaps most importantly her engagement with the story seen as just as deep as any other reader if not more so! uriel is one of the characters we see most changed by kim dokjas story - in every other universe shes a fierce and furious warrior, and while she never hesitates to kick ass in this round either, kim dokjas story has given her a solace that has made her significantly softer. she helps him out sooner than any other constellation, saving his ass in many ways during the demon world arc, demonstrating a deep investment we are clearly meant to be grateful for. wherever it comes from, uriels engagement with kim dokja’s story is shown to be a genuine and deep one appreciated by the characters. through this sing shong is almost directly speaking to the shippers in the fanbase who are often mocked or disregarded, saying that their love for the story is important too, wherever it comes from. i see this as sweet, and i like that unlike so many other authors sing shong recognise the role shippers often have in a story’s success.

however, i hesitate to give sing shong too much credit. because along with the genuine appreciation of uriel as a character and all she represents, there are jokes mocking her and those like her, and there are a lot of them! like i said above, sing shong wrote orv as a metatextual narrative that engages not just with the genre but with the genre’s fans. sing shong knew that people would ship their characters, as that is what happens with books like orv. and so they wrote in many jokes about it, jokes based around the ‘silliness’ of those who would assume kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk have romantic feelings for each other. and given orv’s metatexual nature, this also mocks the nature of shipping itself. when someone assumes kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk are together and they react with disgust, as frequently occurs in the earlier parts of the novel, we are meant to laugh not just at the misunderstanding - really, these guys gay, how silly. but we are also meant to laugh at the idea that these Protagonists are homosexuals, and at the people who make those assumptions. its a simultaneous acknowledgement and mocking of the queer undertones of both this story and it’s genre.

so you get this overall impression of a narrative that ultimately loves all of it’s readers, including shippers, but also isn’t afraid to say it thinks all that gay stuff is kinda silly. and while ebook edits have largely removed many of these gay jokes, an undercurrent of this still remains. from what i know this largely reflects sing shongs actual opinions at time of writing, whether or not they have changed later on. 

dont get me wrong, i love orv, i love joongdok, i love their relationship and i do read it as romantic. i too read the scene where lee gilyoung insists kim dokja is into men and kim dokja responds aghast and gone ‘haha, gay’. as a queer person in the webnovel scene i am no stranger to taking homophobic moments like that and reclaiming them, making the characters queer and pretending the author is laughing with me and not at me. im not trying to preach to anyone here. but i also think its important to acknowledge the conversation orv is having here - its valuing of shippers and its mocking of queerness, and where they overlap.

[gege-wondering-around]

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[anantaru]

“what’s your favorite color?”

alhaitham at the outset, first replies to your unexpected question with a bewildered look neighboring on his natural, graceful highlights before venturing to answer at last.

"i never concerned myself with that question." he says, crossing his arms around his chest— but a dart of curiosity seized him, there was a spark of interest in his eyes. as might be expected, how overly typical for the akademiya scribe and his tendencies to read into something a little too throughout.

"what would the reasoning behind it be?"

you felt a ripple of chuckles rise in your chest, "so i know what your favorite color is, silly." and alhaitham doesn't point his eyes away from you, they're stagnant, breezing from your brows to your lips and collarbones.

the distance you both shared wasn't that far as you assuredly slant your cheek against his strong shoulder while, at the same time, melt your palm on his slightly shaky thigh as you moved your lips to indicate a contented smile, "don‘t you think it‘s fun to get to know more about your partner?"

well, of course he did, that much goes without saying. but you must've misunderstood him, because alhaitham preferred it the other way around.

by extension, the man always favored to be a serene listener instead of an oversharing talker if anything— something about breaking through his concealed nature or showing a different, more hidden, side wasn‘t as easy from the get go as one might expect it to be.

"i guess." his voice had a surprise in it and a bit of a graveled edge, but he speaks in a firm tone. alhaitham scratches the back of his neck, adding on as a solution to this conversation gathered in his eyes and filled it.

"what’s your favorite color?"

"don’t even try to pull this around."

you bark back, laughing immediately, not even surprised he attempted to switch the situation around. with no punches pulled, for some reason you had seen it coming, ultimately bubbling with hilarity as you saw a sudden faint glint of a smile on your boyfriends lips, a silver like reticent.

"turquoise."

"what?"

"it’s turquoise."

this time, he spelled it out an octave underneath his heaves, as if almost embarrassed or shy to actually state it up more clear. the color in question he had conclusively picked out wasn‘t unknown to you by any circumstances— be it known, his spellbinding eyes were part turquoise, the same eyes you deeply fell in love with.

"is there a specific reason?" it's easier for alhaitham now and he had his own hand on top of yours— indicating the comfort barreling in his heart whenever he was with you.

that said, you had entirely grown invested in him, naturally there were many things interesting about alhaitham, but this time it felt a little more precise— a little more personal.

the near drawn following seconds, there was a warm silence, one that wasn’t defeating nor uncomfortable, it was refreshing and deemed as an effect in tune with alhaitham‘s deep pondering.

nonetheless, it chilled his heart and the man draws in his breath before exhaling through his parted lips.

"it reminds me of a family member."

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[pop-punklouis]

its interesting to see how one direction fans still think harry was forced to be separate. where as he's made it clear that he chose to leave the other boys behind and started planning his exit with azoffs way way before he let anyone know.

even keeping his songs for himself and not sharing time with the band.

which is good for him, but its the same as with liam, the one direction fans will cling to the fantasy of "boys" being good and only doing shady things when management forced them.

i mean people are hardly accepting liam could've been abusive to a girl fans arent invested in. why would they ever come consider the idea that baby boy harry cheated the fuck out and made his fame the top most priority. even at the cost of others. i think he chose it to be at the cost of others.

to be completely honest, i think this is such a black and white view of the band dynamic and leaves absolutely no room for the grey which very much dictated a lot of the inner workings of the band we never saw. harry isn’t a super villian and never was. neither was zayn for leaving the band.

if you truly believe that there wasn’t a very clear agenda to bring harry to the face of the band from the beginning which only amplified as his star persona got more obvious as the band got bigger and there was more $$$ to be had— especially over the image of harry, independently, then i think you’re the one who needs to reevaluate it.

these guys were all teenagers/early 20s at the height of their fame (the band ended when harry was 21 years old!!!!). the ego thrust on them and the decisions made that were part of that era were not just decided upon by one of them, like harry. and allowed to exist without careful consideration and input by their team. they were a machine. their brand was raking in so much more money than im sure is even fathomable. were a lot of the things these boys did savory during that time period? no. and i’m not saying harry didn’t involve himself in certain areas that were shit things to indulge. but, the idea that he was a mastermind behind being the face of the band and wanting more out of a career and doing shady things under the table to guarantee that is just so silly to me. he was 18-21 years old lmfao

sony knew that harry was going to be profitable for them regardless of if the band existed. and the azoffs obviously knew that. they had primed harry from the very beginning for what ultimately ended up happening with his solo career. to make things appear so black and white that there’s no room to even suggest that harry had a lot of people in his ear and a lot of power due to his platform in the band with industry heads is just so so silly to me. the influence people have who are so much more experienced and powerful than you, coaching you and guiding you on how you need to go about your independent brand— especially at such an impressionable age as he was is so much more believable than harry edward styles the super villian who broke up the band and had been secretly planning his exit for years without any remorse for any other member and was in it for fame and profit!!!! like be so serious.

these were kids who from the very start were primed by those who saw nothing but dollar signs over their heads. if that doesn’t fuck up logical thinking and decision making after being in that kind of bubble for years, i don’t know what does. i genuinely don’t believe anyone can make any sort of judgement like that on someone who lived such a different life at such a young age and demonize them for it without ever knowing what you would do in that situation. because we can scream “i would never!” or “that’s such a gross thing to do!” or “i couldn’t hang out with them or betray this person!” or “i could never be hellbent on fame!” all we want, but how would that change if you were actually in that position? no one can say for sure. and that’s where all the grey comes in.

and i do apologize i hate being all long-winded and ramble-y but ever since 2020 when all the boys started slowly but surely talking more authentically about their experience in the band….. there’s been such a window of grace for me when i think back on things that used to upset me or confuse me about some of the decisions that were made by all of them. perhaps it’s just growing up and experiencing life, but i just have a lot more grace for them and how things transpired during those last two years especially. i cannot imagine. which is why i believe all of their separate recollections and feelings about it all are valid because they did all experience it differently and interpreted it differently as the years went on.

so, i’m sorry. i understand there’s a more nuanced conversation to be had about harry styles™️ as a brand now. there’s been a lot of things in recent years regarding him that i acknowledge and i understand people’s issues with him. which is fine. but, i just don’t really care for such a harsh opinion of him when it comes to the end of the band and how things were handled from 2014-2016. it just seems silly to look at it like that— especially in 2024.

[carbonatedjem]

Tokomaru Week 2024 - Day 4 - Despair

Okay so up till now the way I've been picking prompts has been choosing which one I want to do for Syomaru Week (where I really wanna go all in on the art if I can), and then using whatever is left to use as my Tokomaru Prompt, which usually makes for a neat challenge. This is the only prompt so far where I actively chose it for Tokomaru week. I admittedly didn't know what I was going to do at first, since either ship seemed like I would have had to do some angst which personally I don't wanna indulge in for these shipping weeks (More power to those who are though, I can't wait to see em and you're way stronger than me). I almost just doubled up on the rainstorm prompt. But then I remembered MasterMind AU's are a thing, and then I further remembered that Evil Girlfriends are the coolest. And so we get an AU where Toko's the Mastermind and Komaru is essentially her Mukuro equivalent, except they're dating instead of being sisters. Also for further context on Makoto's reaction, i kinda imagine that in this AU Komaru was in the Killing Game with him instead of Junko (Mukuro is also in the game, but as herself. If you're wondering where Junko is, i dunno she's outside doin stuff??). Like Mukuro she died, but in her case she just full on faked her death.

Last detail, sorry for the long wall of text to go along with this, i accidentally got too invested. Toko is still the Ultimate Writing Prodigy when she's not discovered as the Ultimate Despair, in Komaru's case she's the Ultimate Girlfriend because I think that's very silly and fun, she's also Ultimate Despair of course.

I had a lot of fun with this pic! The designs especially, I kinda wanna do more with them but only time will tell if I do

[tiredandoptimistic]

As someone who likes a lot of "bad" media, or media that starts out kinda slow but builds into a bigger plot over time, I see so many different opinions on what bits are "okay" to skip in order to get to the good part, and it's just wild to me. Bouncing around between the highlights doesn't actually give you the experience, and filler is so important when it comes to just...creating a vibe and building up the relationships between characters and with the audience.

For instance, Red vs Blue is probably my favorite show (ever, of all time), and while I will admit that the first five seasons are not my favorite, I still think they're essential to the show, because those five years of relatively low stakes adventures set the tone so that it can be upset by the bigger plot points. The impact of a big twist is reduced if you haven't spent the time to get invested in these characters when they're just hanging out and being silly. Most importantly though, even once the plot really gets going in season six and we get into the more serious Freelancer and Chorus arcs, Red vs Blue is still fundamentally about a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. If you have to force yourself to put up with the majority of the show, then you might just not like this show.

I was talking about this with my friend, and they said it's kinda the same thing with Homestuck. Yes, it does get "better" as time goes on, but it's still the same thing it's always been, and if that's not something you enjoy then skipping to the bits you do like won't change what it is.

Or like, I freaking love The Order of the Stick, and last year I reread it from the beginning for the first time in a while, and I half convinced myself that I'd just made up how good it is (because volume one is funny enough but nothing to write home about). However, I hit a certain point where I realized that I wasn't just reading out of a sense of obligation but because I adore these characters and am unspeakably invested in this plot. You can really tell that it's been a story happening over the course of 20+ years, you can see the writing and art improve dramatically as time goes on. I could just recommend that someone start with volume two or three, and summarize the plot up till then so they don't feel lost. However! That would rob them of the experience you get from watching these characters grow. You can't fully appreciate Belkar's arc in volume six if you didn't see what he was like on day one, y'know?

On another note, I love the Shadowhunters Chronicles, and I know that a lot of people will give The Mortal Instruments shit and call it the worst series or whatever, but those people just hate fun. Yeah, there are other series that might have stronger plots and better writing, but there's a reason that TMI's main characters have been iconic for years. Sometimes, things are just silly, and if you don't like that then you're not gonna have a good time here.

I could go on! I also like a lot of episodic shows like MASH, Community, Tangled: the Series, the whole DC animated universe, Supernatural, etc. I could come up with lists of my favorite episodes to try to hook somebody, but all of those episodes lose a lot of their impact when taken out of context. Skipping the filler doesn't give you the ultimate experience of Only The Best, it takes away your chance to fully spend time with these characters in a variety of settings. And sure, lots of shows with multiple writers do have some episodes that are just bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a difference between something being bad and something being low-stakes. Maybe you personally don't enjoy things that are low-stakes, but that might just mean you shouldn't be watching a sitcom.

So yeah, this has been an excuse for me to rant about things I enjoy for a while but I'm sorta out of time and need to eat lunch, so I suppose this post has reached its conclusion. All my favorite media are my favorite for reasons I couldn't articulate in an elevator pitch, and putting together a highlight reel will never substitute for truly being in the trenches. If you're truly having a good time with something then you won't need to skip to the good part, because the whole thing is enjoyable.

[amerricanartwork]

Hi! I just wondered if you've played Hollow Knight based off how much you like Rain World. I'd be interested in any thoughts you had on it. :)

Thanks for the ask! No, I have not yet played Hollow Knight, BUT my interest in the game has been piqued! However I still have to see if the gameplay itself seems up my alley, or get invested enough in the characters that I want to discover more than I've already found out (and I have spoiled quite a lot for myself) before I actually decide to buy the game.

Regardless, from what I do know it does seem like an interesting story, albeit one far more tragic than Rain World's in my opinion. The characters I've seen are also pretty cool, both in design and personality. In fact, it was some ship fanart I found a few weeks ago that got me interested in diving deeper into the game once I realized it was where the featured characters were from, especially since one of the characters I had remembered hearing about before.

Here's a little sketch of some characters I was thinking about and whom I've been meaning to draw for a bit! Hornet because she's very Shaped™, Quirrel because from what I've seen he's quite wholesome, and Tiso because he was the first character I heard about and I think he's kinda silly!

Also, some more comparing/contrasting thoughts about the game below:

Firstly, I like how the premise of Kollow Knight involves anthropomorphic insects! It's something I never realized until recently despite being aware of HK for at least a few years, but I usually tend to take interest in stories starring non-humanoid creatures, so it's a plus! I also enjoy the more gothic/Victorian-looking magical high fantasy aesthetic, though it's pretty different from Rain World, which I'd consider far more sci-fi and specbio-esque in its aesthetic.

Now to get into themes, so far Hollow Knight seems to share Rain World's theme of lost/dead civilizations, which is also a very interesting premise to me! However, HK seems to have a greater focus on interacting with the people of its dying civilization and as such you get far more definitive knowledge about what happened to cause it to collapse. The player character seems to take on more of a classic epic hero role, because from what I've heard about the lore and endings, they end up directly influencing the fate of Hallownest, even potentially destroying or defeating the force that caused its ruin. The visuals have this very dark, cool tint overall to sell that gloomy, mournful vibe, and the structures, while presumably old, are still mostly smooth, ornate, and not super deteriorated, with these castle or manor-like appearances more similar to real-life buildings or things in other high fantasy works. Then, the orchestral music I've heard alongside all of these elements really creates this impression in me that it's aesthetic and overall concept is more akin to a high fantasy epic tale, albeit a rather tragic one.

Meanwhile, Rain World seem to have the player take more of an anthropologist role, observing and trying to piece together the story of vast remnants of its dead civilization, which seem alien and impossibly complex because so much of the history they're from has been lost to time. One of the core themes is being very small compared to these long abandoned structures, to really sell the idea that this history is so much older and more intricate than you'll ever know. The colors of Rain World are often warmer, which can be associated with old things, and the structures are far more weathered and broken down, with the only living survivors of the people who made them being the iterators, whom we only get to hear directly from two of. Combined with the focus on simulating an ecosystem, the more directly religious ideas within, the themes of natural cycles and an entire civilization evolving, changing, and ultimately disappearing over deep time, and the overall alien, sci-fi industrial designs of the architexture and strange creature designs that look like things out of "Of Rust and Humus" or some other alien speculative biology worldbuilding project make RW fit well in with that genre of fiction in my opinion.

Sorry if I seem like I kinda took a sudden shift there, but I wanted to talk about this contrast in artistic aesthetics and story genres for a moment because the "lasting impression" an art piece creates something I've recently concluded is pretty important overall in works of art, at least for mine!

But anyway, I hope these thoughts were satisfying for now! Thanks again for the ask!

[cloudshuffle]

Hi, d for the request can I please have yandere Royal Jade x thief reader?

gem in the rough. yan!jade

nobility au

Her grace, the elegant, classy, duchess Jade, also has a penchant for being frightening.

So terrifying is she that it's said she can make grown men wet themselves at a single glance (this is untrue, on accounts that it was only one man who she caused to wet himself, and there were many other factors involved in his pants-wetting, so he says. I think it’s more amusing to leave it down to the duchess.)

Yet all rumours sprout from a seed of truth. Jade is a formidable individual, demoness or not, and it’d do anyone good not to cross her. She near monopolises the flow of jewels in and out of our borders, and as far as it’s been recorded, none of her ventures have ever failed. She’s wealthy. Some even say she’s more powerful than the emperor himself.

The duchess has an eye for valuable things; things that would pay her back tenfold, if invested in the right way. Despite her cutthroat methods, I know merchants who would kill to be in partnership with her - provided they get an audience with her first. Duchess Jade is a very difficult person to get a hold of.

Speaking of valuable things. I suppose it’s dangerous for a thief to keep a diary, yet here we are. I’ve been feeling rather… lonely and sentimental recently, something about how there might be no one to remember me by. Anyway. It’s been said that the duchess has in her possession something called the Dragon’s Eye - an exquisite, rare, lovely jewel that would buy me not only my freedom out of these borders, but also a life beyond them. I have someone who’s willing to pay.

I do intend to acquire it for myself.

I’ve been watching the duchess’ estate for a period of time now, and I’m quite confident I’ll be able to slip in easily tonight. After that, well, let’s just hope the plans to the castle are up to date. If they aren’t, this will be my first and last entry, which is amusing in a way.

Though aren’t my best heists always the ones less planned?

In confidence, (Name).

I have to admit, the duchess herself isn’t the only frightening thing about her estate.

Security is nearly watertight, and I nearly got mauled at least thrice tonight. But humans are ultimately foolish creatures, and I managed to trick the guards at the outer walls into thinking their mutts were acting up at a squirrel. Still, I thought my heart would jump out of my throat.

The guards in the corridors? Less perceptive than the maids. Those twittery ladies never miss the slightest bit of gossip to pass around. I slipped into a uniform, hinted that the stable boy had his eye on the duchess, and slipped out quickly as they begun speculating on what might happen. He does have quite the looks. Shame he might be fired soon.

And finally I was close enough to slither into her jeweller’s vault, right underneath the guard’s feet. Or the carpet under them. It was a tight, unpleasant squeeze, but what’s playing pretend as a snake compared to my future on the line?

Rumour had it that Jade’s vault was manned by a host of the continent’s best lapidarists, all chained to their desks and made to slave away to produce only the best jewels for her. That rumour always seemed a little silly to me. Didn’t people work best when they were well-fed and happy? But there were no lapidarists. In fact, there wasn’t a single soul in that chamber, not even a guard.

The carpeted floor ate up all sound, and the gems sparkled silently in clear cases. I probably could have stolen the cushions they rested on and fetched a small fortune - the workmanship and the gold embroidery spoke enough.

But I was here on a mission. And though I usually turn away at the sign that something might go awry, maybe it was the temptation of my reward, or maybe it was the sight of the jewel that drove me on.

Fiery red and deepest purple laced with the richest gold. Lovely didn’t even begin to describe such a jewel. Though an eye for aesthetics didn’t come with the job, I think even a blind man could simply feel its beauty radiating from it.

The gold in the middle did somewhat resemble an eye. And I took it with gloved hands and slipped it into a velvet pouch.

Leaving was easy. The compound was designed to keep people out rather than in, and I made it back to my temporary quarters without fuss. I deposited the jewel safely (even I’m not foolish enough to note down where it is), and satisfied at having a job well done, decided to treat myself to a drink at the bar downstairs.

There was a lovely lady at the bar with a presence about her. She looked normal enough with a nondescript cloak and brown hair (save the covering across the lower half of her face), but she didn’t feel normal, and so all the other patrons were giving her a wide berth, even raging drunk. I was in no mood to contend with rowdy, stinking men, so I took up the empty seat next to her.

“Good evening,” she said to me, and I had to sigh. Conversation really wasn’t on my agenda for the day, but she must have misunderstood. “Long day?”

“Sure,” I replied. “Just got home from work.”

“So late!” she exclaimed. “You must be working very hard.”

I shrugged. “I suppose I do.”

Conversation died down, and she left shortly after that. She did tell me she was looking forward to seeing me again.

I wonder what she meant.

Yours unsurely, (Name).

With much difficulty, I’ve finally managed to make contact with the buyer! Pardon the excitement, but we’ve arranged for a meeting at the docks tonight, where they’ve already arranged passage for me. I asked why they weren’t worried about me running off with the jewel, and they said that I likely didn’t want to keep it in my possession any longer.

Which is… true. It’s hard to find a buyer for such a high profile object, but harder still to keep it around me. I’ve been checking on it every day, and I’ve noticed that I feel… somewhat queasy around it. Like it’s a drain on my energy.

Hey, I didn’t survive this long without being at least a little superstitious.

That aside, it was discovered that the jewel went missing sometime in the night that I stole it. Though it’s an important item, the upper echelons seem more interested in covering up the theft than issuing a public notice. I suppose I understand. How would it look if not even the nobility had safe, secure homes?

Regardless, as long as it doesn't harm me, I suppose the jewel and I can coexist for a day longer. And I'll let the stone keep its secrets. It’s not much longer before it’ll be off my hands.

Looking forward to the future, (Name).

I’m writing this entry by candlelight, still sweaty and breathless from escaping from that place.

I made my way to the docks once the sun set. The Eye was heavy in my pocket, but in some way, I felt like the weight of my future was finally in my hands.

I was feeling unusually optimistic. And I’ve learnt, thankfully, that that’s when things go wrong.

Like any respectable thief might, I concealed myself amongst the many crates and boxes waiting quietly to be brought inland the next day. Making the first appearance is always foolish. My boat, supposedly, bobbed quietly on the water with not a soul in sight. Not unusual - the sailors would all be inland at the moment, causing ruckus at the taverns. But it didn’t help to reassure me any better.

Shortly after, a trio of horses and riders come down the docks. Not the most discreet way to get somewhere, and definitely not the level of caution I would expect from someone about to attain the Dragon’s Eye. I knew I was right to be suspicious.

The lady in the middle got off first - I knew she was a lady despite the cloak because she rode side-saddle. Also another unusual detail in this day and age. The other two men at her side moved with a familiarity that I didn’t like; the kind that reminded me of trained soldiers and patrolling troops. They didn’t stir up particularly happy memories. When one of them moved, I caught a glimpse of sheathed blade under his cloak.

Two soldiers. And a noble lady.

I knew this, because Duchess Jade lifted the hood off her face in one smooth motion, her pink curls tumbling out like a cascade of silk.

I bit back a gasp. Because seeing the duchess up close, I recognised her too - the same lady who’d just sat next to me at the inn bar. No matter how she’d changed her hair, using magic or otherwise, it was definitely still her, aura and all.

“My dear master thief.” Her voice rang out, clear and full of authority. I knew immediately that confrontation wasn’t an option. “I know you’re hiding somewhere. You’ve done such a wonderful job, attaining the Dragon’s Eye. Do show yourself so I can present you with your reward.”

From under her cloak, she pulled out a drawstring bag, large and heavy with coin. Jade shook the bag as if to prove its contents, then retrieved papers and slipped those inside too.

“More credit, and legitimate papers for your safe passge.” She patted the bag. “This offer won’t last forever, master thief. Or should I call you, (Name)?”

By the time she finished her sentence, I was already gone.

I pick up this entry, once again by candlelight, once again fleeing.

The duchess knew where I was staying, which gave me valuable time to pack what little I had and sneak onto a transport cart. Once out of the city, I hopped off and hitched a more legitimate ride with another cart. Not that I trusted these people not to rat me out, but there was no way I was stopping any of these men in the dark without giving them a fright.

I’m on my way towards the border. The Eye is still heavy in my pocket, sitting quietly like an obedient child. I hadn’t known what to do with it, and figured it might be better to carry it with me, in case I needed to barter for something valuable. Like a life.

This journal will have to take backseat for now. I get the feeling I need to jump carts soon.

(Name).

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Okay, so.

We all know Louis is an amazing leader, whom we love dearly.

(If you’re not on board with this, get on board, I guess; I’ve already written about that)

But. When and where did he get good at this? Because for as much as I, you, and he love his brothers…no.

Just no.

We do see him starting his delegation tactics pretty early—mostly with Moran. It doesn’t work out especially well because Moran is Moran and doesn’t really have any interest in having a leader that’s not William, but honestly, Louis…wasn’t the best at delegating back then.

A lot of his early leadership/delegation/control was very forceful, inelegant, and focused on small, petty things that didn’t really matter. He’s always had the ultimate vibe of, “If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself.” Even when it comes to Moran—if he wants Moran to actually do his chores, he has to be very active and hands on about it.

He doesn’t trust enough to lead and delegate. And this even extends to his brothers. He loves them until the sun dies, but he always questions William and his plans, even if he ultimately agrees with William’s goals and wants to support him. He doesn’t trust Albert for ages and ages and eventually accepts him as a brother after literally murdering people together, but he never relies on Albert to do anything for him. As much as he loves and trusts them, and as much as they protect him…Louis doesn’t ever ask them to handle something for him.

Louis, even very early on, was trying to get control of things because not being in control meant everything was going to go sideways. He always had input to add and questions to raise and arguments to make, and they all involved him doing more, more, more.

But when we see him after the timeskip…that’s all fallen away.

Oh, he’s still in charge and issuing the orders to everyone else. And he’s still present and involved and fairly hands on. But he’s no longer micromanaging what other people are doing. He gives them their roles, and steps back to trust them to do their jobs. When he steps in during The Adventure of the Empty Hearts, it’s not to do other people’s jobs for them. He’s making sure they have the space necessary to do their own jobs. He divides up tasks and gives himself his own tasks that keeps him from hovering over everyone else.

And the first time we see him do that?

Sherlock Holmes.

Asking Sherlock to save William was the first time Louis had to ask someone to do something he simply did not have the ability to do himself. It was the first time, “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself,” was utterly unapplicable. Louis had already tried, and he’d failed.

So he reached out to someone he knew did have the skills, and passed the task onto him, without asking for details, without hovering and micromanaging and needing to know how things were happening and why.

He simply had to trust that Sherlock Holmes, someone he didn’t even like and had no reason whatsoever to trust to care or be invested, could and would do something if he asked.

And it was the first time he had to ask for something he cared about that much. Chores, ultimately, don’t matter. The details of William’s silly Shakespeare reenactments, ultimately, don’t matter. Exactly how they follow William’s orders in Baskervilles, ultimately, doesn’t matter.

The end result does.

And Sherlock Holmes taught Louis that, because it was the only option Louis had, and it was something so desperately dear to Louis’s heart, that he wanted done right so deeply that he learned to give up control and to trust that someone else had it handled.

And so I think in many ways Sherlock Holmes was the birth of Louis as M.

Even if Louis will never, ever want to admit it.

[pebblume]

I never realized how liberating writing fanfiction would be. I hadn’t written creatively in years. It’s been so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like. The childlike rush of pouring your heart out onto a blank page, not caring about the results as long as you were having fun. I’ve tried writing fanfic a couple of times, for different fandoms across the years, but never finished anything I was really happy with, nothing that I felt comfortable sharing with the world. But something just clicked for me this past week. I realized how much fun it was to stretch out my writing muscles, to get inside the heads of my favorite characters. I realized that it didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of being shared and loved by others. I realized that I had so many stories inside myself - more than I thought possible. 

But perhaps what I’m most in awe of is fanfic readers. The people who read my work and leave kudos and bookmarks and comments - one word comments, sweet comments, silly comments, paragraph-long comments. I love them all. I used to be afraid of leaving comments on AO3, afraid I wouldn’t have enough words, wouldn’t have the right words, to depict how I felt. But when I felt firsthand how much those comments meant to me I started leaving more and more of them, spreading a digital paper trail of love to all my favorite authors. More and more often I recognize the profile names and images in my comment section and think, Hey, I know you! Now I’m not just a guest on AO3, or a passive reader. I belong here. 

I won’t lie and say I don’t miss drawing a bit, my previous creative outlet. There are plenty of drawings inside me too, itching to be realized. I really just don’t have the time for two time extensive hobbies, not when I need to balance school and practicing and little things like sleeping and eating and relaxing. I miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. There’s a level of investment to sharing a story online that feels…special. When I post my art, I get engagement, and it feels nice, but ultimately, most people are only spending about ten seconds looking at the work I spent eight hours on, if that. When someone reads my fics, we’ve now spent time together. You’ve lived inside my head for a bit, made it your home. It’s about feeling seen, I think. Writing makes me feel understood in a way visual art sometimes doesn’t. It makes me feel vulnerable in the same way performing music does, but less exposed too. It’s interesting to me. 

The only downside, if you can call it that, is now that the writing bug has infected me, I’m finding it harder and harder to stop. I’ll have an idea and then suddenly five hours have flown by because I’m on a creative streak and I just want to write one more idea down, which turns into two, and so on and so forth. I dread stopping, because what if I forget something? What if I get into a writing block later? Suddenly I have people who want to read the things I write and I want to provide it, I really do, but I also have responsibilities. I say, as I write this, ignoring my audition tomorrow afternoon. 

I still have a bit of embarrassment attached to fandom works. When I tell acquaintances that I like to draw or write, I rarely tell them I mean fanart and fanfiction. As if loving something that deeply, that sincerely, is inherently shameful in this age of irony and soulless remakes. Especially when my interests usually consist of media marketed towards children, nevermind the fact that it has more emotional maturity than most ‘adult’ works. But I’m trying to get better about it. A lot of my closest friends know about my hobbies, and some I’ve even let see my work. It’s terrifying but also giddying, seeing them like an art post or comment on a fic. After all, to reap the rewards of being loved, one must submit themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known, or something like that. 

I realized today that I’ve written over 30,000 words in the past two weeks about about two characters who don’t belong to me, but whom I’ve made my own.

And I’ve never felt happier

[ominus-potato]

Hi, just wanted some advice about fanfics on ao3, how do you write them? and how can I make my one shot fic impactful for the readers. I'm planning on making a fic but since it's my first time making I kinda don't know where to start.. It's fine if you don't know though! just thought of asking cause you're writing's really good imo.

Sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series at the end!

Well when I write, I don’t do it on AO3. I draft my work on Wattpad and then cross-post it to AO3. This is because AO3 is a bit more complicated, can be dodgy with saving works and only work when I have Wi-Fi. With Wattpad, I can write offline which is very helpful. Some people also draft on google docs so there’s that as well.

In terms of ACTUAL writing, there are two ways to leave an impression on the reader. There’s the way liked with angst, pain and maybe a bit of comfort; and there’s the way of making a story so sickeningly sweet that the reader is gushing over every cute moment. The length of the story also plays a factor. If it’s under 4000 I’d recommend avoiding angst bc you don’t have much time to set it up and at it off effectively.

Personally, I pretty much never write angst unless I genuinely believe it’ll make a story better. I’ve read fics before where the author will just throw in a shit ton of angst for no reason other than to make the reader feel bad for the mc and it just feels really cheap. It’s hard to do angst right and it’s really tempting to just give everyone a super fucked up backstory and make them depressed or something but imo it’s just overdone to the point of exhaustion. It can make a story depressing and no longer a fun read.

Whenever I write angst, it’s a small part of a mostly fluff-filled story. Take the pining Mario series for example. 19,000 words of silly pining hyjinx with a few small drops of angst. Then have the angst bubble over a little in Shots and Cowboys, Mario has a small breakdown since we’ve been keeping up with the story from his perspective mostly. That then allows me to forward the story and give character a new motivation.

If youre going to use angst to get an emotional reaction, you MUST have good set up and pay off. Especially if it’s a longer story. Also, you don’t have to do this, but I’d recommend against adding angst unless it’s necessary. Don’t just throw it in there Willy nilly yk?

If you wanna know how I do my stories, I really enjoy making them sweet and adorable with a little bit of drama and comedy. Like “Love is not a foreign language” where it’s just Mario and Mr Puzzles being adorable as hell for 6000 words. Then the drama comes when Puzzles reveals he can understand Mario and that only leads to more cutesy love.

A lot of it comes down to the story you’re trying to tell and how you want your reader to react. When I write a story, I want my readers to be invested in the drama and rising tensions, enjoying the little spurts of comedy here and there and ultimately, finding the main ship really cute in the end. I try to make people happy with my work bc I write the kinda stuff I would love to read! Because if I would read it, someone else definitely would.

Also, I feel like I must add that I have only ever written ship stories. If you wanted advice on stories in general with no shipping then I wouldn’t really know how to advise you on that. I love relationships between characters. Whether it’s ships or friendships. It’s my favourite part of any fandom so it’s where I specialise in my work.

Sorry I don’t really have like a plan or anything. I just keep it all in my head, know a few plot points I want to hit, and write to them. I try to get around 3-5 plot points for my longer stories and then just 1 or maybe 2 for the shorter ones. I sometimes add them as I go if I think it’ll make the story better!

For example, my plot points in Shots and Cowboys were:

•Mario tries to buy Puzzles a drink

•Mario and Mr Puzzles are interrupted by Wren and Mario is jealous

•Mario and Wren do something to fight for Puzzles’ affection (IE, play pool)

•Mario looses Puzzles to Wren, sees them kiss and is devastated.

•Mr Puzzles thinks that Mario is heartbroken over SMG4 and promises to help him move on.

Then if I get any smaller points like certain ships, lines, dynamics or interactions I wanna add I just sprinkle them in where I can.

I don’t really have much advice outside of that. I tend to just think of a scene or an idea I’d love to write and then more ideas pop up around it. It’s just one major point that gets built around. IE, Mario being jealous was the premise of SAC purely just because there were a few jealous Puzzles stories and I wanted to see if I could switch the dynamic.

Sorry for the long wall of text. I just wanna make sure it’s detailed enough for you. Just make it up as you go along and write what you wanna read. I re-read my stuff all the time because I genuinely enjoy what I write and it gives me exactly what I want. Have fun with it!

And if you’re worried about it being terrible, I’d advise you to read my old Lego Ninjago fanfiction that I wrote when I was 13. My god it was awful. But it shows development!

First story:

Latest story:

Enjoy that sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series :D

[thydungeongal]

what r ur top 3 ttrpgs?

Oh that's a really tough one! I know what two of them are but it's the third one that's giving me trouble. Oh, okay, I've got it now! These are in no particular order because ultimately these are all very different types of games for different purposes.

Rolemaster. Big surprise there. Rolemaster is kind of a crunchy mess but I am extremely fond of it. It's a game that requires a lot of investment because character creation is very intensive. But once you start rolling on those tables, hoo baby. It's good. Every attack, every spell, every maneuver is a chance for some extremely random bullshit to happen and completely throw everyone's plans off balance, and that unpredictability and randomness is what I adore about TTRPGs.

Monsterhearts. This PbtA game of playing horny fucked up teenage monsters is a masterpiece of design and genre emulation. It is like if you threw Jennifer's Body, Ginger Snaps, the Vampire Diaries, and Carrie in a blender and made an RPG out of the resulting sludge. Strangely enough, I don't think it's necessarily the best PbtA game: I think Apocalypse World is still the best in that regard. But Monsterhearts as a whole is so explosive and melodramatic and powerful.

Basic/Expert D&D: I'm not entirely a D&D hater and I actually think TSR D&D was really good at times! The Basic/Expert set (specifically the 1981 version) is one of my favorite RPGs ever because it is ultimately a simple dungeon game that does everything it needs to do! And like, it is also a very silly game where Elf and Dwarf and Halfling are classes and the look and feel is a weird mix of like guys in proper medieval attire and then there's also like a Magic-User in star-spangled pajamas. It, or Old School Essentials, a modern retroclone of it, is my go-to system when I want to run the dungeon game.

Honorary mentions: AD&D 2e, D&D 3.5, D&D 4e, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 2e, Apocalypse World, Godsend, Traveller 1e, Paranoia 1e, Fellowship, etc. etc.

[elvisqueso]

Pochontas (1995)

wiggins meta under the cut

here's the thing: ratcliffe is constantly being explained as a representation of the forces of greed and racism and colonialism/imperialism (arguably this can translate to capitalism as well), but what about wiggins? what is his role? he most obviously plays the role of the Fool, and provides a character for ratcliffe to have consistent dialogue with. but what does he represent?

i have a theory that wiggins is meant to represent the ethnic english, the culture of the english, and the willing servitude of the english to the evils of imperialism/greed/racism in exchange for a sense of superiority and security. wiggins is, paradoxically, both above and below the settlers in terms of status. he's a servant, but he serves the highest ranking man there. he's a yes-man, but he's also brutally truthful (spelling out for the audience ratcliffe's motivations and the immorality of the settler's presence and actions).

wiggins is also a caricature of the english to a T: he resembles many a self-styled stereotype of the typical englishman in english comedies. he's prim, a bit fussy, obsessed with gardening, a bit oblivious and silly and somewhat incessantly cheery. he's drawn, also, like an english caricature. his teeth and upturned nose in particular stand out to me.

the line "and he came so highly recommended" from each of these characters is so fascinating because of this because it highlights the mutual consent of these two allegorical characters to be involved with each other and subscribe to a master-servant dynamic, wherein ratcliffe has invested in wiggins to be useful and efficient, and wiggins has invested in ratcliffe to provide security both financially and socially. ratcliffe find's wiggins's personality (the cultural quirks of the english) trite and unnecessary. wiggins found ratcliffe's extremity to ultimately be outside of his own best interests once it could no longer protect him (ratcliffe being no longer able to provide the status and security once he was put in chains).

we can't be sure if wiggins has truly learned a lesson, however. he remains in America with some of the other settlers instead of returning to his homeland. we don't know what he intends to do there, or why he's made this choice. perhaps he's going to try turning over a new leaf and assimilate to a new society. perhaps he's going to try and influence his way into a similar position as before. in any case, we know wiggins's core motive is always going to be self-preservation. what that looks like without ratcliffe and the protections of aggressive imperialism, we simply don't know.

[diesfortunae]

Hi guys for a few days I've been brainstorming a fan zone and, besides the guardian, I have quite a lot of things planned.

I don't have a name for it, all I know is that it's cream / tan colored.

Behold, because I will go into a bit of detail.

I'm still not totally sure about the architecture of the place. It's like a miniature claustrophobic city, if that makes sense. It's littered with advertisements for some sort of beverage... I wonder what it could be?

More below the cut :}

Ok so since you found this interesting enough to read more, let's directly get into the gist of it:

What the hell is gasoil?

Gasoil is the signature element this zone specializes in, it's their main source of income as they also ship it to other zones, either raw or processed.

When raw, it is used as fuel for machinery and electricity.

When processed, it becomes edible. The every-day beverage of every elsen!

Due to the consumption of gasoil, the elsen of this area are friendlier and extroverted, I'd imagine one of them would greet the Batter when he first steps into the place.

And yes! You read that right! It can be mixed with sugar. However, the elsen of this area are immune to sugar craving, as gasoil breaks down the addictive component of sugar, and also gets sweeter. They don't consume sugar unless with a cup of gasoil.

Gasoil also makes elsen more productive! Truly the beverage of all time, this should be sold everywhere and everyone should consume it immediately OUCH YEOCH MY ARM WHAT THE FUCK

The last bullet point of that little image was that gasoil is addictive.

Elsen can become addicted to it due to the overconsumption of it, resulting in tachychardia, deliriums, vomiting, etc. Upon dying, these elsen immediately turn into sugar, as their insides are burning.

Rabid elsens are extremely dangerous so please don't approach one ever (thumbsup)

What's the aquarium?

Whales produce gasoil by absorbing plastic into their spiracles, to then excrete it in the form of raw gasoil. The raw gasoil is then harvested, and either sold raw or processed.

At the building known simply as "The Aquarium", it's where investigations about the beverage and whales occur. There are groups of people specialized in hunting and breeding these whales to achieve the best quality of gasoil. So far, not much progress has been made.

These seems quite insane and all

But where's the guardian?

This is where my silly drawings end because I have no idea what to do for the guardian, however I do have some other ideas:

(I love writing)

At the beginning, this guardian's plan was to bring out the potential of every man that would step on their land. Fierce like a militar, but caring like a mother. This guardian thought everyone had an ultimate version of themselves that, with a bit of digging, it could be brought out.

However, this guardian didn't really like the performance of their elsen, it saw them as too frail and dependent. With the discovery of gasoil, this guardian saw that the consumption of this beverage would make their elsen more productive in their tasks, however since it was in its raw state, the elsen would fall sick and do even worse after the effect of the beverage wore off.

This guardian then, invested their whole spirit into researching this new element, that could transform men and bring their potential out. Like this, "The Aquarium" was founded. Processed gasoil was invented, and it was perfection in a cup.

Contacting the guardians and signing agreements did really well in the economy of their zone. Zone 1 specially, as it had a lot of the components necessary for elsen to live, in exchange this zone would export gasoil (raw or processed) as well as men, since I don't think Dedan would mind a few more workers.

Zone 3's sugar became important, since it would make gasoil sweeter and friendlier for elsen with a weaker palate.

This zone was simply utopic. Every man had a job that they were comfortable with, with holidays and sick leaves and what not. With a loving guardian and the graph of the economy looking like Mt. Everest, what could possibly go wrong?

The elsen became mad when this guardian decided to put regulations on the consumption of gasoil. The massive production of it made the demand for it weaker, and the only costumers of it would be the elsen of this same area. It was still being exported to other zones though, just not in large quantities.

The guardian had noticed that its elsen were becoming addicted to it, once again dependent on something. The elsen ravaged and rebelled against their governor, wanting an explanation for the sudden cut in their diets and lives.

These manifestations would evolve into threats, and from threats to fights with the guardian. The guardian knew that if they were to answer these attacks it would get significantly worse, and also because they already had certain reputation of being really nice to their men (this would really affect the economy!). It decided to leave and exile themselves in the farthest point of the zone, reflecting on how permissive, and even uncaring, their actions were, thinking that it was their fault that their men became obsessed with it. This wasn't the way they envisioned "bringing someone's full potential out".

This is basically all I have planned lol. Also the way I see spectres in this is that the player would think that the stupid ghosts are interrupting elsen just wanting to do their work and drink their whale water. What the player wouldn't realize is that they're helping their addictions, spectres are beneficial here, and even the guardian will scold The Batter.