#ultimate joust 2018

[parf-fan]

Please look at this photo of Sir Philippe as hero, King Henry as villain, and Sir Roland as damsel in distress.

(Check out Michael Ulrich’s photography!)

[days-since-the-hotdaga]

It’s been so long that I forgot what the plot was

The Hotdaga Plot-

•The Boy In The Box - August 10th 2017 - Dan the Hotdog skateboards across the screen and crashes into a wall

•The Missing Family - August 16th 2017 - Dan and Rebecca drive across the screen, the car crashes and Rebecca shoots him and then she drives away

•Jonbenét Ramsey - August 23rd 2017 -Rebecca is sailing around in her pickle boat and Dan is chasing her using a seagull

•Amelia Earhart - August 30th 2017 - Dan & Rebecca meet on an island and their son, Brandon, is revealed. Pam, Rebecca’s witch twin sister, is revealed on a crab and is prepared to crab joust Dan

•Room 1046 - September 7th 2017 - Flashback to when Dan and Rebecca meet and Rebecca promises not to shoot Dan

•Natalie Wood - September 13th 2017 - Flashback to Dan and Rebecca’s wedding

•Poison Pill Murders - September 21st 2017 - Flashback to Murray and Ginas childhood when their father tells them to watch out for a hotdog witch

•Keddie Cabin - September 28th 2027 - Future Brandon goes to Dr Lisa Bratwurst and Gene for help to get back to the hoist to prevent it

•JFK - October 4th 2017 - Brandon appears at the joust and un-hypnotises Murray and Gina and stops Dan from dying which would have destroyed the future. Murray and Gina take Pam away to get eaten by a raccoon. Future Brandon eats Baby Brandon. Baby Brandon possesses the raccoon and Pam and Baby Brandon decide to get revenge on everyone

•Eastern Stare Penitentiary - November 1st 2017 - Gene gets a letter from his sister, Gebra, asking if his band will play at their wedding so Dan, Rebecca, Brandon and Gene decide to go get Genes band back together

•Goatman’s Bridge - November 8th 2017 - We learn more about Gene and some begin to question wether or not they’re being led into a witch trap

•Pennhurst Asylum - November 15th 2017 - Gene goes to Steven Rootbeer to get him back in the band

•Roswell - November 22nd 2017 - Gene and Steven go to get Melba and the Risky Fixins are back together

•Roanoke - November 29th 2017 - We learn some fun facts about Gene

•Viaduct Tavern - December 6th 2017 - They arrive at the wedding but Pam and Raccoon Brandon appear

•Colchester Castle - December 13th 2017 - Flashback to Pam and Raccoon Brandon talking The Dark Master while they talk about a prophecy, leading to the formation of a plan about how they will drop everyone into a volcano to get the GUP, the gauntlet of ultimate power. The hooded figure tells Pam and Raccoon Brandon to lure Gene and the Hotdog family to Hawaii

•London Tombs - December 20th 2017 - It is revealed that all at the wedding except from Gene, the Hotdog family and Mike soup are holograms. Maizey gets angry with Pam so Maizey and Gebra get married and the Risky Fixins play “Relish Life” but Pam still drops them into the volcano

•Gardener Museum Heist - February 7th 2018 - The GUP is created and Gene, Maizey and Mike Soup are alive. They decide to try to go back in time to save everyone

•Cleveland Torso Murders - February 15th 2018 - We found out Mike Soup fought in a war and they decide to go to a wormhole to go back in time

•Isdal Woman - February 22nd 2018 - Pam and Raccoon Brandon report back to The Dark Master and the hooded figure summons the GUP. The hooded figure finds out Mike Soup survived so he kills Pam

•Ken Rex - March 1st 2018 - Mike Soup, Maizey and Gene are trying to go to a planet to get a converter but are attacked and they crash before they can land there

•William Desmond Taylor - March 7th 2018 - Maizey wakes up on a new planet and cannot contact her friends but then meets the Pulpple Garce who says he can take her to the crashed ship. We find out Plupples cannot lie.

•Louis Le Prince - March 14th 2018 - Plupples and Maizey talk about Dr Goondis and Maizey falls into a trap cave where there are many Plupples and Dr Goondis (voiced by Ryan Steven Bergara) can be heard in the cave

•The Jamison Family - March 21st 2018 -Jobblet, a Plupple, introduces Dr Goondis and Dr Goondis decides to throw Maizey in jail for harassing Plupples and to prove her innocence she will have to fight a giant Plupple and the Plupples carry Maizey to a cell. The radio plays, talking about Earth and then it plays “Plupple Honeymoon” by the Risky Fixins. Then a mini version of Pam appears in Maizeys cell

•Rolling Hills Asylum - May 2nd 2018 - Some Plupples find the starship Minestrone but then they explode. Mike Soup and Gene emerge and are attacked by a sky beast, only for it to be distracted by Garce. Garce takes Mike and Gene to Maizey

•Bellaire House - May 9th 2018 - Maizey rants at Pam and then Pam disappears as Jobblet enters. Maizey is told Gene and Mike were attacked by Plupples and the goes to see Dr Goondis

•Ohio State Reformatory - May 16th 2018 - Flashback to Pam and Papa Crab in some sort of afterlife thing. They talk and Pam is told she can go back but if she dies again, she’s dead forever. She leaves the afterlife

•Phoenix Lights - May 23rd 2018 - Pam begins searching for Gene and Mike but finds their bodies. Garce appears and says Mike and Gene are just sleeping. Pam possesses Garces pit. Mike and Gene wake up

•Moon River Brewing - May 30th 2018 - Gene, Mike and Garce go to Jobblet. They talk about Dr Goondis and Jobblet gives Mike the converter but the Mike and Gene pass out because of the drinks Jobblet gave them. Jobblet talks to the hooded figure and tells him that they have Maizey, Gene, Mike and the converter

•Sorrel-Weed Mansion - June 6th 2018 - Dr Goondis’ rap begins while Maizey is waiting in the coliseum and Maizey defeats the giant Plupple by tricking it into lying

•Villa Montezuma - June 13th 2018 - Maizey wakes up to find the coliseum destroyed. Jobblet is revealed to be a peach. The Minestrone breaks through the cave, cracking open Dr Goondis, showing that inside the shell there is a sane, as he is no longer hypnotised, chicken Dr Goondis who sings the song “Outta My Shell” and they all leave on the Minestrone

•Collar Bomb - July 25th 2018 - Jobblet dreams that he is on a beach as a peach with Garce and his wife but then wakes up on the Minestrone where Maizey, Dr Goondis and Smeech are waiting for him to wake up. Jobblet tells them where Gene and Mike are

•Eight Day Bride - August 1st 2018 - Gene and Mike wake up to see Garce and they are being taken to the space buffet. Once they get there they’re basically drugged. The station they are at picks up on a huge thing that is eating everything in its path and will reach the station in a few days

•Alcatraz - August 8th 2018 - Two sliders talk and the go interrogate Goondis, Maizey, Jobblet and Smeech because they came in the wrong entrance, but then they get let in

•Litvinenko - August 15th 2018 - Mike, Gene and Garce find Maizey, Goondis, Jobblet and Smeech, who are now also drugged.

•Charles C. Morgan - August 22nd 2018 - They are all on a float when the thing that the station picked up that was eating everything arrives and eats half of it. Pam kills Garce to escape from his pit and then kills Jobblet.

•Bobby Dunbar - August 29th 2018 - Smeech is shot by the thing that was eating everything, The Dark Master, and he shoots Gene too. The Dark Master is short the the serenity ray. Maizey, Gene and Pam plan to go back to the Minestrone. The Dark Master is revealed to be the Chilli Pope so Goondis and Mike stay behind

•Forrest Fenn - September 12th 2018 - Maizey, Gene and Pam are on the Minestrone and Maizey puts the converter in and then they leave. Gene sings “Believe Me Maizey” and then dies.

(This took me a little while to get to because I had to go through the wiki script and all the episodes to write this so... I hope you appreciate this)

[nelcaparli-blog]

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[sorio99]

Nintendo E3 Direct 2019: Reaction

I decided, for the second year in a row, to write my reactions to this years E3 Direct for all of y’all. Before the show starts, a couple predictions/guesses:

Obviously, we’re gonna get Smash Fighter Pack 2. I doubt it’s gonna be Banjo-Kazooie, just because that seems a bit too “Grinch-Leak”-esque to be realistic, if you know what I mean. That reveal will probably be either the first or last thing in the direct.

I imagine, like everyone else, we’re gonna be seeing a fair amount of Animal Crossing, just because there aren’t many other huge upcoming games we haven’t gotten exclusive directs about.

That said, we’ll probably learn a couple more things about Super Mario Maker 2, and maybe even Pokemon Sword and Shield. Nothing too huge, or game-changing, but a few additional details and maybe some later update stuff for SMM2.

We’ll probably hear more about the Link’s Awakening remake for Switch, just to tide over Zelda fans until Nintendo comes up with the next big 3D game (no disrespect to the 2D Zeldas, but the 3D titles are definitely big landmarks and game-changers).

Beyond that, some cool looking indie titles, even more ports, maybe a couple decent-sized 1st or 3rd party reveals, and that's about what I’m expecting. See y’all on the other side of the break.

So, before the show even starts, the YouTube live chat is memeing about tilt controls. Off to a fantastic start.

Ah, so mainly gonna be Switch. I’m down with that.

Like I said, starting with Smash. Though, this is definitely not framed how I expected.

Dragon Quest! Really? Okay! Wasn’t expecting it, but I’m sure this will make some people happy! Plus, as a sword myself, can’t say I’m too disappointed to have another.

Wait, are those three other skins? Like with the Koopalings? Cool.

And some magical abilities, looks cool to me, yeah! I imagine some will be disappointed, but I like it.

And, of course, they follow it up with the game the new guy’s from. So that's two characters who appeared in Smash before their game appeared on Switch. Odd.

Okay, starting with Mr. “Hired Just For His Name” himself. Gotta admit I found that entrance funny.

He’s...okay. Not the world’s most charismatic, but it’s fine. Koizumi is the hunk these days.

Ah, LM3. Should’ve figured.

Oh god, it’s Hotel Mario again.

Looks fun! I’m sure I’ll have fun with this.

Also, does this all mean Arlo was right?

Ah, so, Gooigi is an actually, like, thing? I guess that makes some sense.

And of course ScareScraper returns. It fits with the hotel theme.

Oh! It’s Tower of Terror! So, is this Rod Serling, or Jordan Peele?

Yeah, Doug Bowser is fine. He’s no Reggie, but then again, who is?

Ooh, Netflix? Whats this? Something from The Dark Crystal? Okay.

Ah, Link’s Awakening! This should be interesting.

I actually really like this chibi-esque art style. Seems like sort of an expansion on the style Link Between Worlds Used.

Wait, it’s Zelda Dungeon Maker too? Huh. That’s...unexpected. I dig it!

Alright, September! Sounds good.

Square Enix is doing a thing. What is this again?

Trials of Mana, huh? Fair enough.

...yeah, that’s about my feelings on the Mana series as a whole.

Okay, so Witcher? I guess. Why not? Seems weird to bring 3 over first, but I’ve heard good things.

Ah, more Fire Emblem stuff. Not much interest, and I feel like last FE direct did enough to advertise it, but I guess it makes sense. Odd we aren’t getting one of it’s characters in Smash soon, but I’m not complaining.

Yes, Mr. Koizumi, we all agree the Switch is an amazing piece of Hardware. No one is denying this.

So, play Resident Evil in an evil residence? Because it wasn’t scary enough to begin with? I guess?

Why does the guy sound surprised there are zombies in this game?

So they left went to a haunted house to play the haunted house game. Okay.

Why bother porting 5 and 6 over? 5 was generally regarded as average at best, and the less said about 6, the better.

I’m sorry, what?

No seriously, what the hell is this?

Wait, what? No More Heroes?

Didn’t we just get one of these?

Okay, so it’s officially 3. I guess that makes sense.

A Contra reboot?! Okay?! I mean, why the hell not?! Konami is officially insane.

Okay, seriously, what is up with Daemon X Machina? This is the third time I’ve seen this in a direct, and all I get is “Mechs blowing shit up.” Is that, like, just it? Whatever.

What the fuck, is this Joust or some shit?

Panzer Dragoon, huh? Looks like a Star Fox rip. Cool.

Ah, more Pokemon SW&SH. Pokeball Plus is always fun. 

Okay, so there’s more than one Gym Leader. It looks like things are still good. 

Okay, this is definitely a shift in gears.

So, there are just, like, two twins in this game? I think?

Looks like the Crash Titans games, but a sci-fi Hack & Slash ala other Platinum games.

Astral Chain. Forgot the name. Looks decent.

What the hell is Romero up to now? 

What? 

Ah. Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Still looks better than the new Avengers game.

Ooh, Ultimate Spider-Man AND Spider-Gwen AND Kamala Khan’s Miss Marvel? Looks cool!

Ah, Expansion Passes.

Ooh, Cadence of Hyrule. Nice to see Nintendo be friendlier with their IPs.

More Mario and Sonic Olympics? Was anyone asking for this? Wasn’t there a reason they didn’t make a 2018 one?

Holy shit! Already!?

So, there’s voice acting?

Deserted Island? This looks...interesting.

Okay, it looks like we can have at least eight players at once.

Ah, that Tom Nook. Always putting us in irreconcilable debt.

Damn, we have to wait until 2020? Ah well, as they say, a late game is eventually good, and an early game is always bad.

Woo! The quick montage! Yay

Spyro Seems fun.

Hollow knight sequel, natch.

Ni No Kuni, okay.

Can’t keep up, but wasn’t that the free-to-play Elder Scrolls game?

Alien Isolation anywhere, because we should be in mortal terror on buses.

Okay, was that a Stranger Things game?

The weird totally not Conker game, alright.

Just a few seconds of Mario Maker? Okay.

Wait, more DK? Smash?

Holy Shit, WHAT?!

No, seriously, what?!

Okay, I didn’t mention it, because it felt like that much of a long shot, but I figured they might reveal two fighter packs, since it’s been so long since Joker’s reveal, but...

BANJO-FUCKING-KAZOOIE?!

HOLY SHIT?!

Okay, so one last thing. Wonder what this’ll be.

Green squiggles?

Wait, is this...

Holy shit.

Holy Shit.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

WHAT.

NO.

NO FUCKING WAY.

DID THEY JUST.

ARE THEY REALLY.

OKAY.

NO.

I’M NOT RISKING SPOILING THIS BUT.

HOLY SHIT.

HOLY SHIT.

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT.

...

So, yeah, I enjoyed that.

[readingbooksinisrael]

Favorite Books of 2018

January

Climbing the Stairs/Padma Venkatraman:  During World War II in India fifteen-year-old Vidya dreams of attending college. But when her forward-thinking father is beaten senseless by the British police, she is forced to live with her grandfather's large traditional family, where the women live apart from the men and are meant to be married off as soon as possible. Vidya's only refuge becomes her grandfather's upstairs library, which is forbidden to women. There she meets Raman, a young man also living in the house who relishes her intellectual curiosity. But when Vidya's brother decides to fight with the hated British against the Nazis, and when Raman proposes marriage too soon, Vidya must question all she has believed in.

February

Feud (Lady Grace Mysteries): There is much excitement at Court as the famous painter Levina Teerlinc arrives to paint the Queen's portrait. The Maids of Honor are recruited to help entertain the Queen during the sittings, and to pose for the painter while the Queen is busy. They love being in the studio but have to beware as deadly poisons are used in some of the paints! One of Lady Grace's fellow Maids of Honor, Carmina, begins to act rather strangely--she seems confused and always tired. Her family has recently been involved in a feud with another noble family after her father was killed in a jousting tournament--is it possible that Carmina is being poisoned? Could the painter or her assistants be involved? Can Grace solve the mystery and discover the truth behind the strange happenings at Court?

March

The Radical Element/Various: In The Radical Element, twelve of the most talented writers working in young adult literature today tell the stories of the girls of all colors and creeds standing up for themselves and their beliefs—whether that means secretly learning Hebrew in early Savannah, using the family magic to pass as white in 1920s Hollywood, or singing in a feminist punk band in 1980s Boston. (my review)

April

Obsidian Mountain trilogy/Mercedes Lackey & James Mallory: Kellen Tavadon, son of the Arch-Mage Lycaelon, thought he knew the way the world worked. His father, leading the wise and benevolent Council of Mages, protected and guided the citizens of the Golden City of the Bells. Young Mages in training-all men, for women were unfit to practice magic-memorized the intricate details of High Magic and aspired to seats on the council. Then he found the forbidden Books of Wild Magic-or did they find him? The three slim volumes woke Kellen to the wide world outside the City's isolating walls. Their Magic was not dead, strangled by rules and regulations. It felt like a living thing, guided by the hearts and minds of those who practiced it and benefited from it. Questioning everything he has known, Kellen discovers too many of the City's dark secrets. Banished, with the Outlaw Hunt on his heels, Kellen invokes Wild Magic-and finds himself running for his life with a unicorn at his side. (my review)

May and June

Deltora Quest series/Emily Rodda: The evil Shadow Lord is plotting to invade Deltora and enslave its people. All that stands against him is the magic Belt of Deltora with its seven gems of great and mysterious power. When the gems are stolen and hidden in dark terrible places throughout the kingdom, the Shadow Lord triumphs, and Deltora is lost. In secrecy, with only a hand-drawn map to guide them, two unlikely companions set out on a perilous quest. Determined to find the lost gems and rid their land of the tyrant, they struggle towards their first goal - the sinister Forests of Silence.

July

Nothing But the Truth (and a few white lies)/Justina Chen: Half Asian and half white, Patty Ho has never felt completely home in her skin. Things get worse when a Chinese fortune-teller channels Patty's future via her belly button and divines a white guy on her romance horizon. Faster than Patty can add two plus two, her ultra-strict Taiwanese mom freaks out and ships her off to math camp at Stanford. Just as Patty writes off her summer of woe, life starts glimmering will all kinds of possibilities.

August

Merci Suárez Changes Gears/Meg Medina: Merci Suarez knew that sixth grade would be different, but she had no idea just how different. For starters, Merci has never been like the other kids at her private school in Florida, because she and her older brother, Roli, are scholarship students. They don’t have a big house or a fancy boat, and they have to do extra community service to make up for their free tuition. So when bossy Edna Santos sets her sights on the new boy who happens to be Merci’s school-assigned Sunshine Buddy, Merci becomes the target of Edna’s jealousy. Things aren't going well at home, either: Merci’s grandfather and most trusted ally, Lolo, has been acting strangely lately — forgetting important things, falling from his bike, and getting angry over nothing. No one in her family will tell Merci what's going on, so she’s left to her own worries, while also feeling all on her own at school. (my review)

September

The Lie Tree/Frances Hardinge: Faith Sunderly leads a double life. To most people, she is reliable, dull, trustworthy - a proper young lady who knows her place as inferior to men. But inside, Faith is full of questions and curiosity, and she cannot resist mysteries: an unattended envelope, an unlocked door. She knows secrets no one suspects her of knowing. She knows that her family moved to the close-knit island of Vane because her famous scientist father was fleeing a reputation-destroying scandal. And she knows, when her father is discovered dead shortly thereafter, that he was murdered.

Warrior Girl/Pauline Chandler: When Marianne’s mother is killed by the English she is sent to live with her cousin Joan’s family. Joan insists she hears voices who tell her to crown the dauphin as king and lead in war against the English and Marianne loyally follows her. But when a man appears who’s goal is to take away the last thing Marianne has left from her father she must start her own journey. (my review)

October

Rapunzel: The One With All the Hair/Wendy Mass: Rapunzel is having the ultimate bad day. She’s been stolen by a witch, may have a ghost for a roommate, and doesn’t even have a decent brush for her hair. Prince Benjamin’s got it pretty tough, too. His father wants him to be more kingly, his mother wants him to never leave her sight, and his cousin wants to get him into as much trouble as possible (possibly with a troll). (my review)

November

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda/Becky Albertalli: Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.

Spinning Silver/Naomi Novik: Miryem is the daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders… but her father isn’t a very good one. Free to lend and reluctant to collect, he has loaned out most of his wife’s dowry and left the family on the edge of poverty–until Miryem steps in. But having the reputation of being able to change silver to gold can be more trouble than it’s worth–especially when her fate becomes tangled with the cold creatures that haunt the wood, and whose king has learned of her reputation and wants to exploit it for reasons Miryem cannot understand. (my review)

December

Mangoverse series/Shira Glassman: Queen Shulamit never expected to inherit the throne of the tropical land of Perach so young. At twenty, grief-stricken and fatherless, she's also coping with being the only lesbian she knows after her sweetheart ran off for an unknown reason. Not to mention, she's the victim of severe digestive problems that everybody thinks she's faking. When she meets Rivka, an athletic and assertive warrior from the north who wears a mask and pretends to be a man, she finds the source of strength she needs so desperately. Unfortunately for her, Rivka is straight, but that's okay -- Shulamit needs a surrogate big sister just as much as she needs a girlfriend. Especially if the warrior's willing to take her around the kingdom on the back of her dragon in search of other women who might be open to same-sex romance. The real world outside the palace is full of adventure, however, and the search for a royal girlfriend quickly turns into a rescue mission when they discover a temple full of women turned to stone by an evil sorcerer.

[majornelson]

This Week’s Deals With Gold And Spotlight Sale Plus Additional Special Sales

Here are this week’s games and add-on deals on the Xbox Games Store. Discounts are valid now through 11 February 2019.

These deals will expire at 11:00 am UTC on Tuesday February 12th 2019

     Xbox One Deals

Content Title Content Type Discount Notes EA Sports UFC 3* Xbox One X Enhanced 60% DWG Forza Horizon 4 And Forza Horizon 3 Bundle* Xbox One X Enhanced 40% DWG Divinity: Original Sin 2 – Definitive Edition* Xbox One X Enhanced 40% DWG Styx: Master Of Shadows* Xbox One Game 75% DWG Forza Motorsport 7 Standard Edition* Xbox One X Enhanced 40% DWG Carmageddon: Max Damage* Xbox One Game 60% DWG My Memory Of Us* Xbox One Game 40% DWG Divinity: Original Sin – Enhanced Edition* Xbox One Game 75% DWG City Of Brass* Xbox One X Enhanced 30% DWG Forza Motorsport 6 Complete Add-Ons Collection* Add-On 75% DWG Desert Child* Xbox One Game 10% DWG Forza Horizon 3 Car Pass* Add-On 60% DWG Forza Motorsport 6 – NASCAR Expansion* Add-On 75% DWG Forza Motorsport 7 Deluxe Edition* Xbox One X Enhanced 50% DWG Forza Motorsport 7 Ultimate Edition* Xbox One X Enhanced 50% DWG INVERSUS Deluxe* Xbox One Game 70% DWG Jump Gunners* Xbox One Game 33% DWG NeuroVoider* Xbox One Game 50% DWG One Hundred Ways* Xbox One Game 50% DWG oOo: Ascension* Xbox One Game 40% DWG Rugby 18* Xbox One X Enhanced 70% DWG Silence – The Whispered World 2* Xbox Play Anywhere 33% DWG The Council – Complete Season* Xbox One Game 50% DWG The Council – Episode 1: The Mad Ones* Xbox One Game 75% DWG The Council – Season Pass* Add-On 33% DWG The Station* Xbox One Game 50% DWG EA Sports UFC 3 Deluxe Edition* Xbox One X Enhanced 67% DWG Battlefield V Xbox One X Enhanced 50% Spotlight Battlefield 1 & Titanfall 2 Ultimate Bundle Xbox One X Enhanced 80% Spotlight Plants Vs. Zombies Garden Warfare 2 Xbox One Game 75% Spotlight Battlefield 4 Premium Edition Xbox One Game 85% Spotlight Battlefield World War Bundle Xbox One X Enhanced 50% Spotlight Battlefield Anniversary Bundle Xbox One X Enhanced 80% Spotlight Battlefield V Deluxe Edition Upgrade Add-On 60% Spotlight Battlefield Hardline Ultimate Edition Xbox One Game 85% Spotlight Battlefield 1 Premium Pass Add-On 80% Spotlight Battlefield 1 Revolution Xbox One X Enhanced 75% Spotlight Battlefield 4 Xbox One Game 75% Spotlight Battlefield V Deluxe Edition Xbox One X Enhanced 50% Spotlight Star Wars Battlefront II Xbox One X Enhanced 75% Spotlight Star Wars Battlefront Ultimate Edition Xbox One Game 75% Spotlight Plants Vs. 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X Enhanced 60% Franchise Sale Wolfenstein II The New Colossus Digital Deluxe Edition Xbox One X Enhanced 67% Franchise Sale Wolfenstein II: The Freedom Chronicles Season Pass Add-On 40% Franchise Sale Rocket League Xbox One X Enhanced 40% Indie Sports Sale 3On3 Freestyle – Rin Character Pack Add-On 50% Indie Sports Sale Maximum Football 2018 Xbox One Game 33% Indie Sports Sale Super Mega Baseball 2 Xbox One X Enhanced 50% Indie Sports Sale GRIP Xbox One X Enhanced 20% Indie Sports Sale Pumped BMX + Xbox One Game 60% Indie Sports Sale 3On3 Freestyle – Carter Character Pack Add-On 50% Indie Sports Sale All-Star Fruit Racing Xbox One Game 30% Indie Sports Sale Aqua Moto Racing Utopia Xbox One Game 25% Indie Sports Sale Axis Football 2018 Xbox One Game 25% Indie Sports Sale Baseball Riot Xbox One Game 50% Indie Sports Sale Beat This Bundle: Kung-Fu & Beatsplosion Xbox One Game 40% Indie Sports Sale Bush Hockey League Xbox One Game 50% Indie Sports Sale Chess Ultra Xbox One X Enhanced 50% 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*These offers are only valid for Xbox Live Gold members. Please note: prices and availability are subject to change and may vary by region.

    Xbox 360 Deals

Content Title Content Type Discount Notes Battlefield 3* Backward Compatible 75% DWG Battlefield: Bad Company 2* Backward Compatible 75% DWG WRC 5 FIA World Rally Championship* Games On Demand 80% DWG Handball 16* Games On Demand 80% DWG

c*These offers are only valid for Xbox Live Gold members. Please note: prices and availability are subject to change and may vary by region.

via Xbox Live's Major Nelson http://bit.ly/2DTzRy9

[ecphasis]

Desiderium

When he walked out

He meant to leave her damage behind

Untether

But inextricably tied to me

He couldn’t just leave

Without severing.

“Why won’t you stay?” I begged

Just a babe of 2 or 3

But one at a time they’d always leave

Taking the innocence of me.

He laughed at my dimpled thighs

And my small breasts

Exaggerating the size of my hips with his words

So I’d know why the boys at school never turned for me

So even as a girl when a man hit my behind

I’d know I was lucky he hadn’t found someone

Less pronounced, waifish

A shrinking violet more desired

Than the thunder of my flesh.

And when it was truly true

the youth with her virtue

Could steal my soulmate overnight

Laser off the tattoo of me from his soul

And make me go

In a flash of dying so quick

So final

I didn’t immediately believe it was real.

And for ten years I tried to find

My might again

The heights I reached

The power I held of me

While contorting myself torturously

Into the peg shaped hole too small for me

A square out of her box

Amorphous and much too much

Never the woman from way back when

Who needed saving from every jousting Knight

Who came to defend her.

Oh and as I’d warned she became the ender

who destroyed my will

To continue to entertain her

Just to turn and give my still-beating-Heart

Back to the soulmate who seemed to finally have found his way and

Discovered that his desire would always be for another

Truth finally uncovered that I could fill a role

Just an empty hole

To stand in until morning and kick out of bed

Without due forewarning

Because I could never be a replacement

For the fair flower that caused his heart’s displacement

And just when I thought I’d let good things happen

Hold back my trepidation and allow someone to

Near me

Despite saying I was fragile like they couldn’t even hear me

To discover I’m at a table for a game I didn’t know I was playing

With a hand of cards that aren’t even available.

Loving me

I think everyone is unable.

And I can’t for my life see what the point is

When from birth to self destruction and ultimate demise

Why I’m not someone I should fully despise.

I’m just a statue in a role

Just a vacuous nothing trying to fill a hole

You’ll always always always wish was full

With absolutely anyone else

But me.

K.M 2018

[castingdirect]

ULTIMATE FIGHTER: Pro Fighter & Proud Drag Queen Loves Taping Up & Dressing Up In Heels

ULTIMATE FIGHTER: Pro Fighter & Proud Drag Queen Loves Taping Up & Dressing Up In Heels Diego Garijo carries the same confidence whether he's taping up his fingers or putting heels on to perform on stage. Diego Garijo is a bare-knuckled fighter and drag queen, and he also has a wife and kid - any questions? Diego said: 'I don't give a shit what anyone thinks,' when he spoke on the Outsports podcast The GAMEDAY TEA: 'My mom says I look ridiculous and hideous in drag and she's ashamed of it. But I don't give a fuck. I'm still doing my thing and enjoying it and having a good time.' Garijo was a dominant MMA fighter, winning seven matches before a detached retina forced him to call it quits. A decade later, Garijo, who's partially lost his vision, returned to the ring for another brutal sport: bare knuckle fighting. He's recorded one win and one loss since he started jousting in 2018. 'I'm not scared to go out there and lose a fight,' he said. 'That's what most people are terrified of. If you talk to a fighter, they feel such shame if they lose a fight: "I disappointed my family and all my fans". I don't give a fuck.' Garijo says his carefree attitude also allows him to shine on stage, growing up with a single mother and gay cousins - he estimates he's seen his dad between 12 and 15 times in his life - Garijo wasn't exposed to many masculine stereotypes, and he would wear his mother's bra and panties around the house. Finally, a few years ago, he decided to give drag a try, and around the San Diego scene, Garijo is known as Lola. The work has allowed him to embrace his famine side even more, and he even swapped his fanny pack for a purse recently. And what does he say to those who question how somebody can be a straight drag queen? 'That's just being close minded,' Garijo said: 'You think the way you dress has to do with your sexuality. And it doesn't> Drag, I see as performance art, and sexuality is a point completely removed from that.' Garijo is fearless, whether he's taping up his knuckles to fight or putting heels on for a fierce number, he says staying mentally strong is the key to both arts. 'I'm known for beating people who are better than me, because they mentally break,' he said: 'There are fights where they're literally tired of beating my as, and they quit mentally. So whatever quality that is - maybe I'm too dumb to get scared - that gives me the confidence to do drag or be more feminine. You can follow Diego Garijo on Instagram. Read the full article

[gibelwho]

Top 5: Sports Movies

This Top 5 examines Sports Movies - those tales of inspiration where people are training to achieve physical and mental domination over their opposition in a competition, often facing their own inner struggles as well during the course of the story arc. I kept the criteria for what defines a “sports” movie pretty loose, considering such films as Cars (nascar racing) and The Big Lebowski (bowling, duh!), but my final selections all include primary plots that fall within the typical definition of athletics, but with vastly different focuses on the b-plot narratives, including love stories, race relations, teenage angst, and data statistics!  

Gibelwho Productions Top 5 Sports Movies

5. A Knight's Tale

4. Moneyball

3. Remember the Titans

2. D2: The Mighty Ducks

1. Rocky

A Knight's Tale (2001): Starting off the list with a nostalgic pick, one that includes my high school crush of Heath Ledger. This flick combines medieval times with classic rock music for a rollicking take on the most gallant sport of jousting! From a humble squire attending an aged jouster to rising up in the realm of competitive jousting to fighting in the World Championships and then winning in a climactic finale, this tale follows the classic journey of a talented nobody who becomes a somebody (and wins love) through his dominance in the sporting arena.

Moneyball (2011): A slightly different take on the traditional sports movie, this film shows the other side of professional sports - the management inside a baseball team that is shedding the old way of doing business and attempting to innovate a new way of operating that embraces data and technology. The movie isn’t perfect (I could do with less of Brad Pitt’s mopey soul searching), but the film shows that those who push forward a traditional sport must be willing to take risks and think differently. The standout scene is when Jonah Hill must inform a player of his trade to another team, a moment where he faces the real world consequences of his data conclusions, instead of a just players as statistics that he crunches. The film merges love for the traditional game with the emerging technology that now dominates the sport, and the human dynamics that drive baseball.

Remember the Titans (2000): Yes, another nostalgic pick, but one that holds up almost 20 years later. The film follows the familiar troupe of a team dealing with division (in this case racially charged) and a new coach that must overcome the odds and bring the team together, both on and off the field. Denzel Washington is superb, the cast of young men is filled with spirited and upcoming actors, with a fierce turn from a kid Hayden Panettiere. The most memorable scene doesn’t even occur on the iron grid, but after an intense morning workout run through the woods. Coach leads his team to the historic battlefield at Gettysburg, where Washington speaks about the strife of the past and implores the boys to respect each other and challenges them to come together to play the game like men.

D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994): Quake Attack is Back! After the first film pulled a rag-tag group of kids who played hockey into a winning team, the next film sends them to the Goodwill Games to face Iceland as Team USA. Not only are many of the original Ducks brought back to compete, the roster is filled out with new faces, including the Bash Brothers and a young Kenan Thompson (of SNL fame). With Coach Bombay distracted by the lure of celebrity, the team must overcome injuries, penalties, and Iceland’s dominance during the final game, but ultimately takes back to the ice with new jerseys, renewed confidence, and get the game-winning save in the shootout for victory. The final scene where they gather around the campfire and sing “We Are the Champions” is one of the most satisfying finales to a sport film!

Rocky (1976): The flick is stunning entirely because of Sylvester Stallone’s magnetic performance. The tale is a simple down on his luck boxer that gets the chance to fight a champion and sees it as his chance to make it to the big time. The film follows both his training and his halting attempts to romance the local pet shop worker in his neighborhood. Stallone is electric as Rocky, who balances the hardness of a fighter training for his life and the softness of wooing Adrian. Of course, the music score paired with his training scenes are quite epic! Finally, quite surprisingly, the film doesn’t have Rocky win at the end, an interesting choice for the hero of the flick, but perhaps left it open for it’s six sequels. Overall, Rocky wins the crown of this Top 5!

Honorable Mentions:

Cool Runnings (1993): The story of the Jamaican bobsled team that defied the odds to compete in the Winter Olympics. Charming, optimistic, and lets the audience cheer for the underdogs! “Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it’s Bobsled time!”

A League of Their Own (1992): The story of two sisters who try out for the women’s baseball league and who must battle not only prejudice against women athletes, the incompetence of their coach, but also their own relationship. “There’s no crying in baseball”

42 (2013): The story of Jackie Robinson, the courageous athlete who broke the color barrier in baseball in the 1940s, focusing on his time on the 1947 Brooklyn Dodgers and the appalling racism he encountered as the first black athlete in America’s national pastime. “You give me a uniform, you give me a number on my back, and I’ll give you the guts”

Upcoming:

Creed II (2018): With Rocky as the top pick for best sports film, it is perhaps appropriate that this franchise has made a comeback in recent years, with the modern take of Creed (2015), whose sequel is slated for release at the latter end of 2018, with enough time for me to catch up on all five of the Rocky sequels!

[parf-fan]

(Check out Michael Ulrich’s photography!)

[beavervan55-blog]

This Week in Jobs: Just Don’t Be Like Elon

Editor’s Note: Every week we ship an email newsletter featuring the region’s most exciting career opportunities. We’ve lovingly called it This Week in Jobs (aka TWIJ (“twidge”) here at Technical.ly HQ). Below is this week’s edition. (Here’s the last one we published on the site (it’s meant to live in your inbox).) 

Sign up for the newsletter here. 

Thanks! — @zackseward

Channelling his inner high-school senior, tech mogul Elon Musk just got slapped with a bill for the most expensive tweet in history. Overly excited by his recent foray into the underbelly of marijuana culture, Musk misled investors about the company’s stock price in order to impress a girl with the world’s most basic stoner joke.

In addition to paying a $20 million fine to the SEC for securities fraud, Musk also stepped down as chairman of the board at Tesla. So, that job’s open. But if you’re not ready for a role that actually includes reining in a billionaire’s highly questionable Twitter usage, keep reading until you find something that lights you up like Musk on 420.

Just call us Miley Cyrus, because we can’t stop, folks. Our next fall networking event is upon us, this time in Paoli, Pa. NET/WORK Suburbs, our annual tech job fair, will take place Wednesday, Oct. 17 at Turn5’s rad 90,000-square-foot headquarters. There will be bowling. There will be (free) professional headshots. And most importantly, there will be epic levels of networking that only Technical.ly can offer.

Register for NET/WORK

A hiring blitz is a-comin’. Medical software company Proscia just raised $8.3 million in Series A funding to triple the size of its team. The Center City-based startup makes artificial intelligence software for digital pathologists, currently in use by some 300 clinical and research facilities to “improve the way cancer is researched, diagnosed, and ultimately treated.” Stay tuned for openings as they pop up here.

Doth thou love biker gear? RevZilla doth, that’s for sure. The motorcycle ecommerce retailer hosted a Renaissance-themed bash in honor of its annual, week-long “Zillapalooza” celebration. In true Renaissance fashion, staffers dined on a whole roast pig and watched leadership engage in a joust. The company also used the event to reflect on its ten years in business, and looked toward a future of enhanced customer service and personalization. Prithee wait while we fetch you some RevZilla job listings. Huzzah!

Ops and PM pros, check these out:

Cloud hosting platform Linode is hiring an Information Security Engineer whose “reason for living is to prepare and defend a fleet of servers.” So don’t worry about coming off overly passionate in your interview. Linode digs it.

Azavea seeks a Project Manager. The company has built mobile and web geospatial data applications for orgs like NASA.

Fintech startup Perpay is looking for a recent grad who’s a stickler for details to become its Operations Specialist.

Devs, look no further:

Chariot Solutions is hiring Scala Developers. Reminder: you’ll be building software, not horse-drawn carriages. We just like to help manage expectations.

Investment firm Stevens Capital Management LP is looking for a C++ Developer with Linux experience.

Weblinc is looking for a Ruby on Rails Developer to work on it’s WorkArea software platform. Curious? Check out the tech here.

Unique job alert:

The Philadelphia Media Network — aka: mama bear to local new faves like the Inquirer and Philly.com — is hiring a Senior News Developer to form the hottest new collab since Kanye and sparkling water with the organization’s Innovation Editor.

Don’t forget to register for NET/WORK Suburbs on Oct. 17. And say no to drugs. Or at least refrain from tweeting about them.

Thanks for joining us this week, folks. We appreciate you. See you in a week!

-30-

JOIN THE COMMUNITY, BECOME A MEMBER Already a member? Sign in here

Source: https://technical.ly/philly/2018/10/03/this-week-in-jobs-just-dont-be-like-elon/

[spicynbachili1]

Review: Reigns: Game of Thrones

Winter is coming

Regardless of being on essentially the most proficient properties on tv, online game builders have had a tough time producing a Sport of Thrones title that is as much as snuff with the HBO collection. Telltale tried, Cyanide tried, Warner Bros. tried, but nothing has been capable of match the majesty and scope of the present. Now, Nerial is taking a shot with Reigns: Sport of Thrones, and whereas it is the very best Sport of Thrones sport by default, it is also the very best showcase of the Reigns components thus far.

Reigns: Sport of Thrones (iOS [reviewed], Android, PC, Mac, Linux) Developer: Nerial Writer: Devolver Digital Launched: October 18, 2018 MSRP: $three.99

Reigns: Sport of Thrones casts gamers within the function of the Crimson Priestess Melisandre as she appears into the fireplace asking R’hilor, the Lord of Gentle, to point out her who’s the true inheritor to the Iron Throne. Beginning with Daenerys Targaryen, gamers can rule over Westeros in a collection of “What if?” conditions by swiping left or proper with every immediate they’re given. She’s solely in energy for a second, for the tutorial really, earlier than we’re given management of Tyrion Lannister and got down to unlock the remaining attainable rulers.

There are just a few Starks, two extra Lannisters, and two bastards who all have a declare to the throne. After every of the attainable candidates is unlocked, the true problem of the sport begins: survive winter. Beating the sport means destroying the White Walkers with every of the potential rulers, and every character will take their very own distinctive path to take action. Some will name upon their dragons, others stroll a darker path. Surviving winter is not simple and neither is reaching the season within the first place as each resolution you make may result in your doom.

The Reigns gameplay components boils monarchical choices down to what’s mainly Tinder. Swipe left or proper to decide when prompted, selecting what you assume is essentially the most prudent choice to hold your reign going as many moons as attainable. Efficiently ruling means placing a steadiness between being cherished and hated, wealthy and in debt, pious and sacrilegious, and highly effective and meek. Develop too robust or too weak in a single space and it is curtains for you. Some choices will take the stress off sure areas, corresponding to when Winterfell publicizes they’ve your again irrespective of how weak in energy you turn into, however different choices may hamper your skill to make impactful decrees.

There are a terrific many alternative paths you may lead every character down, together with participating in mini-games like jousting, a guessing sport, or warfare with one other kingdom. These kind of distractions are all properly and good, however they cannot masks the actual fact Reigns: Sport of Thrones has a definite lack of selection. There are properly over 1,000 playing cards to swipe on this sport, which appears like rather a lot however actually is not once they repeat early and infrequently. Whereas the start of every character’s reign can change each time you begin a brand new run, the sensation of déjà vu kicks in rapidly as you are prompted with the identical number of conditions you’ve got gone via a dozen occasions earlier than.

Bribes are at all times the identical, tavern conversations are at all times the identical, and most choices it’s important to make repeat with every of the completely different rulers, generally greater than as soon as throughout a single reign. Not solely does this degree of repetition really feel punishing when enjoying for lengthy intervals of time, nevertheless it additionally restricts the sport from establishing a stronger, extra cohesive narrative; although I suppose that is extra a byproduct of the Reigns conceit than any resolution made with this explicit sport. It is not till you unlock the flexibility to really survive winter, to be given the trace on how every character will information their kingdom to the summer season, that the participating puzzle facet of Reigns: GoT emerges. There are challenges, or Royal Deeds, to finish however for me, this sport is at its most enjoyable after I’m given a clue on how I defeat the White Walkers after which I’ve to determine the way to get to there from the place my reign begins out.

Reigns: Sport of Thrones would not reinvent the Reigns components nevertheless it definitely will get extra out of it than both of the final two video games. With intelligent writing and a deductive method to ruling from the Iron Throne, it is a good way to revisit the world of Westeros as we await the ultimate season of the present. Simply do not stay round for too lengthy otherwise you may end up rising bored preventing in opposition to the Dornishmen for the umpteenth time.

[This overview relies on a retail construct of the sport offered by the writer.]

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      Reigns: Sport of Thrones reviewed by CJ Andriessen

7.5

GOOD

Stable and undoubtedly has an viewers. There may very well be some hard-to-ignore faults, however the expertise is enjoyable. How we rating:  The destructoid opinions information

        from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/review-reigns-game-of-thrones/

[biofunmy]

Nobel literature winner dreams of a new narrative style

Nobel Literature Prize winner Olga Tokarczuk says she thinks a new sort of fiction may be needed to counteract the modern era’s tendency to isolate and divide people

By

DAVID KEYTON and JIM HEINTZ Associated Press

December 7, 2019, 7:36 PM

3 min read

Nobel Literature Prize winner Olga Tokarczuk says she thinks a new sort of fiction may be needed to counteract the modern era’s tendency to isolate and divide people.

In her Saturday lecture in Stockholm ahead of receiving the prize next week, the Polish author complained of the “exhausting white noise of oceans of information” in the internet era.

‘”It has turned out that we are not capable of bearing this enormity of information, which instead of uniting, generalizing and freeing, has differentiated, divided and enclosed us in individual little bubbles,” she said.

Tokarczuk suggested this discourages people from understanding how actions are interconnected, thus contributing to climate crisis and political tensions.

She said she dreams of a new kind of “fourth-person” narrator in fiction who could encompass the views of each character in a novel.

“We can regard this figure of a mysterious, tender narrator as miraculous and significant. This is a point of view, a perspective, from which everything can be seen. Seeing everything means recognizing the ultimate fact that all things that exist are mutually connected into a single whole, even if the connections between them are not yet known to us,” she said.

Tokarczuk is the 2018 literature laureate. Her prize was announced only two months ago because the Swedish Academy postponed naming a winner last year due to internal turmoil connected with a sex abuse scandal.

The 2019 Nobel Literature winner, Peter Handke, has also brought controversy to the body because of widespread criticism of him as an apologist for Serbian war crimes during the 1990s. One Swedish Academy member said he is boycotting Nobel ceremonies this year in protest of Handke’s selection and a member of the literature nominating committee has announced his resignation.

Handke jousted with journalists who were questioning his views at a Friday news conference, saying he preferred receiving soiled toilet paper to answering their questions. But his lecture on Saturday was contemplative, telling how his writing was first inspired by religious litanies he heard from a village church. He concluded by reciting a poem by the late Swedish Nobel laureate Tomas Transtomer in which an angel whispers “do not be afraid of being human.”

The Nobel prizes in physics, chemistry, medicine, economic and literature are being presented Tuesday in the Swedish capital.

Earlier Saturday, several Nobel laureates in science spoke about climate change at their news conferences in Stockholm.

Didier Queloz, an astronomer who shares this year’s Nobel physics prize for discovering a planet outside the Earth’s solar system, said people who shrug off climate change on the grounds that humans will eventually leave for distant planets are wrong.

“The stars are so far away I think we should not have any serious hope to escape the Earth,” Queloz said. ”We’re not built to survive on any other planet than this one … we’d better spend our time and energy trying to fix it.”

———

Heintz reported from Moscow.

Sahred From Source link Entertainment

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[maxwellyjordan]

Argument preview: Can a noncitizen be “inadmissible” if they are not seeking admission to the U.S.?

With public attention focused squarely on the DACA litigation, Barton v. Barr is not the marquee immigration case for the October 2019 term. Nevertheless, the case presents a compelling question of statutory interpretation, and has the potential to affect thousands of noncitizens with criminal records who face removal from the United States. In Barton, the Supreme Court is examining once again the stop-time rule – the same provision of the Immigration and Nationality Act that the justices dissected in Pereira v. Sessions in 2018.

For over a century, U.S. immigration law has offered some form of relief to noncitizens who have substantial ties to the country yet find themselves in removal proceedings. Congress set forth the present-day iteration of that form of relief, cancellation of removal, with the passage of the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996. The cancellation of removal statute, now codified in 8 U.S.C. Section 1229b, lays out two distinct forms of relief: one for lawful permanent residents (commonly known as LPR cancellation), and another for noncitizens who are not permanent residents. The LPR cancellation statute, Section 1229b(a), which is implicated in Barton, requires, among other things, that the applicant have “resided in the United States continuously for 7 years after having been admitted in any status.”

IIRIRA also concretized a fundamental distinction in immigration law between inadmissibility and deportability. The grounds of inadmissibility, laid out in Section 1182(a), comprise a list of undesirable attributes and past acts that lead to the exclusion of noncitizens who are seeking admission to the United States. The grounds of deportability, in Section 1227(a), can trigger the expulsion of a noncitizen, including a permanent resident, who has already been admitted. Although there is overlap between these sections of the INA, there are notable distinctions; conduct that could lead to one’s exclusion may not trigger deportability, and vice versa. In general, however, the grounds of inadmissibility are more stringent.

This distinction between inadmissibility and deportability animates a debate regarding the cancellation of removal statute’s stop-time rule. That rule, found in Section 1229b(d), lays out occurrences that stop the clock for accruing the required seven years of continuous residence. Under the rule:

[A]ny period of continuous residence … in the United States shall be deemed to end … when the alien has committed an offense referred to in section 1182(a)(2) of this title that renders the alien inadmissible to the United States under section 1182(a)(2) of this title or removable from the United States under section 1227(a)(2) or 1227(a)(4) of this title …

In Barton, the Supreme Court is poised to interpret the language of the stop-time rule and clarify the types of offenses that would stop the clock in a given case.

Petitioner Andre Martello Barton is a lawful permanent resident who is a native and citizen of Jamaica. After first entering the United States on a visitor’s visa in May 1989, Barton became a lawful permanent resident in June 1992. In January 1996, just a few months before hitting the seven-year mark in the United States, Barton was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and other offenses. Later that year, he was convicted of those crimes.

Because Barton is a lawful permanent resident who was properly admitted, the government could only initiate his removal proceedings by charging him under the immigration law’s deportability provisions. Notably, however, the aggravated assault conviction did not trigger Barton’s deportability. Although aggravated assault would normally be treated as a crime involving moral turpitude, known as a CIMT, which carries immigration consequences, the statute links deportability to a CIMT offense committed in the first five years after admission. And because Barton committed the aggravated assault in January 2006 – more than five years after his May 1989 admission – the deportability ground could not apply. Instead, the government had to rely on other convictions on Barton’s criminal record to initiate proceedings.

Before the immigration court, Barton sought cancellation of removal. The government, however, asserted that he was ineligible to apply for LPR cancellation because – through operation of the stop-time rule – he did not have the required seven years of continuous residence. Specifically, the government argued that the aggravated assault conviction “renders [Barton] inadmissible to the United States under section 1182(a)(2).” Unlike its analog in deportability, the inadmissibility provision for a CIMT can be triggered by a crime committed more than five years after admission. The invocation of the stop-time rule in this case raised a critical question: Can a LPR like Barton be rendered “inadmissible” if they are not actually seeking admission to the United States? The immigration judge answered that question in the affirmative, and ruled that Barton was ineligible for cancellation of removal.

Barton’s attorneys appealed the case to the Board of Immigration Appeals, which affirmed the immigration judge’s ruling, and then to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit. The 11th Circuit acknowledged an existing circuit split on this issue, but ultimately sided with the U.S. Courts of Appeals for the 2nd and 5th Circuits, holding that Barton was, in fact, ineligible to apply for cancellation of removal. The 11th Circuit reasoned that being “inadmissible” is a type of “status” that Barton assumed as soon as he was convicted of aggravated assault, even if Barton was not actively seeking admission. Offering an analogy that resurfaces throughout the government’s briefing in Barton, the 11th Circuit noted that a car may be “immovable” because of its weight, even if no one is actually trying to move it. Likewise, the appeals court reasoned, Barton can be “inadmissible” notwithstanding his lawful admission.

The parties’ briefs before the Supreme Court are a jousting match of statutory interpretation. Underlying many of Barton’s arguments is a fundamental distinction between inadmissibility and deportability, as reflected in the very architecture of the INA. Citing the canon of consistent usage, Barton asserts that at any given time, a noncitizen can either be inadmissible or deportable, but not both. With regard to the wording of the statute, Barton contends that the phrase “renders the alien inadmissible … or removable” refers to mutually exclusive outcomes of an actual adjudication by an immigration judge. As a lawfully admitted permanent resident, Barton was simply not capable of being adjudicated as “inadmissible.” Barton also disputes the government’s claim that inadmissibility is a status or condition rendered by the commission of a crime, noting that under U.S. immigration law, a “status” is a “person’s current legal condition, not a hypothetical legal condition.” According to Barton, the government’s reading of the statute converts several of the clauses in the stop-time rule to mere surplusage.

By contrast, the government reiterates the notion that inadmissibility is a status or condition that can trigger the stop-time rule, even if one is not formally seeking admission. The government also argues that lawful permanent residents do, at times, need to be admitted – for example, if they have left the United States for more than 180 days or have abandoned their status. Seeking to counter Barton’s reading of the statute, the government cites INA provisions in which inadmissibility is referenced outside the context of a noncitizen’s admission.

Although the briefs are rife with intricate arguments based on statutory interpretation, larger issues regarding immigration adjudication loom in the background of the case. Both Barton and an amicus brief filed on behalf of former immigration judges argue that the cancellation of removal statute should be read in a way to maximize the discretion of immigration judges. They argue that instead of foreclosing relief based on relatively minor criminal activity, the statute should allow immigration judges to weigh such conduct in relation to other equities in the applicant’s case. Along these lines, Barton argues that it strains reason to conclude that conduct that could not even trigger deportability might foreclose the possibility of relief from removal.

Conversely, the government suggests that cancellation of removal is an act of administrative grace, and that people should not benefit by continuing to accrue “continuous physical presence” after they have committed a crime. Both parties allege that the other side’s reading of the statute will lead to more inefficient adjudication.

Initially, Barton had teed up the question of whether the decisions of the Board of Immigration Appeals in his case and in Matter of Jurado-Delgado, which examined a related question, were entitled to Chevron deference – the notion that, under the 1984 Supreme Court decision in Chevron U.S.A., Inc. v. Natural Resources Defense Council, Inc., courts should defer to a federal agency’s reasonable interpretation of an ambiguous statute. An amicus brief authored by the National Immigrant Justice Center articulates multiple reasons why Chevron deference is not appropriate here, including the nature of BIA decision-making and the board’s relative lack of expertise in some realms of statutory interpretation. In its brief, the government unexpectedly abandoned any claim to Chevron deference, perhaps because the 11th Circuit had already signaled – via a lengthy footnote – that such deference is not warranted in this case. Therefore, the arguments before the Supreme Court are likely to focus exclusively on statutory interpretation. Given the many interpretive arguments and counterarguments advanced by the parties, it will be fascinating to see which capture the attention of the justices.

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The weird world of a Kim Jong-un impersonator - BBC News

Kim Jong-un has had his fair share of headlines in 2018, be it for threatening nuclear Armageddon, jousting verbally with Donald Trump, or signing peace agreements. But every time he makes the news, two very unlikely beneficiaries prepare for their phones to start ringing, writes David Cox.

Howard X, a political satirist living in Hong Kong, and Seoul-based Minyong Kim – who goes by the professional name of Dragon Kim – are the only members of what they call the Kim Jong-un Impersonators Union.

For the past six years, the duo have each been cashing in on their uncanny resemblance to the North Korean leader – earning up to £10,000 a day, they say, for jobs ranging from starring in video games, opening shopping malls, and entertaining guests at billionaires’ birthday parties.

“Whenever Kim Jong-un does something like firing off a missile or calling Trump a ‘dotard’, then my phone goes with a job,” Howard says. “It’s always last minute, sometimes just 24 hours notice. And it can be absolutely anything.”

Minyong is in negotiations with Kentucky Fried Chicken about shooting a new commercial, while Howard was recently hired to appear at an event in Macau together with Trump and Putin impersonators. “They had a cake shaped as a big missile and the three of us had to crack it open,” he says.

When Kim Jong-un first came to power in December 2011, Minyong was still doing military service in South Korea.

“It was really stressful,” he remembers. “Every time Kim Jong-un would do or say something, my seniors and juniors would come to me and say, ‘It’s all because of you, you look like him.'”

Having finished military service, though, he decided to try and embrace his resemblance to the North Korean leader. For Halloween, he persuaded an embarrassed local barber to give him Kim Jong-un’s trademark haircut, bought a cheap black suit and headed out into Seoul’s trendy Hongdae district.

He soon found himself mobbed.

“I literally had thousands of people taking photos of me and the next day I ended up all over TV,” he says. “Within a month I had companies requesting to shoot commercials with me.”

Howard tells a similar tale of overnight fame, which began when he posted photos of himself as Kim on Facebook, one April Fool’s Day. The pictures went viral and kickstarted his career, but he then faced a struggle to get the haircut right.

“It was initially tricky as it’s extremely hard to find a picture of the back of his head. But I did my research, printed out a load of photos, took them to a local guy and after a bit of experimenting, he perfected the look. He’s now my regular stylist,” he says.

“But he’s had to adjust his usual way of cutting in order for me to look this ridiculous – apparently it goes against every single rule for a good haircut.”

Looks aside, the two impersonators have very different approaches to the job. Minyong – who dreamed of being an actor as a teenager before pursuing an economics degree – is a master of accents who has perfected Kim Jong-un’s precise dialect and vocal mannerisms to create as realistic a portrayal as possible.

Howard, who grew up in Australia and speaks no Korean, is unashamedly provocative. His antics have ranged from asking shocked Singaporeans, “Who’s the better-looking dictator, me or your prime minister?” while opening a chilli crab restaurant, to starring in a music video produced by Russian rave band Little Big, where he falls in love with, and goes to bed with, a nuclear bomb.

“As an actor impersonating a bad guy, you can do stuff which, for example, an Obama impersonator could never get away with,” Howard says. “So there’s no bottom for me. I can say the most outrageous, politically incorrect thing, and it would be funny because it’s coming from the character of Kim Jong-un.”

At this year’s Winter Olympics he infuriated the North Korean delegation by appearing at different venues in front of their cheerleaders, waving the national flag. He was ultimately manhandled out of the ice hockey stadium.

“I had no idea what they were saying at the time, but a translator later told me, they were shouting, ‘How dare you do this,'” Howard remembers. “Dictatorships don’t have a sense of humour.”

It isn’t only the North Koreans who don’t see the funny side. Minyong has faced criticism from South Korean charity workers trying to help North Korean refugees who have fled their country. “They’re worried that by us doing this, people might develop a more positive image of Kim Jong-un,” he says. “They say that would be really humiliating for people who have escaped North Korea and suffered under his government.”

Impersonating a dictator does come with its risks.

During one trip to New York, Minyong was nearly assaulted by a member of the public who tried to punch him, believing he was actually the North Korean leader. It was only his friends, dressed as Kim Jong-un’s bodyguards, who stepped in and restrained the assailant.

In addition, Minyong says his growing profile across Asia has brought him to the attention of North Korean intelligence services.

“One day, I found that my personal email account had been hacked,” he recalls. “And my password is pretty complicated, and I’d never changed it. I checked the IP address for where it was last logged on, and it was somewhere in China. I reported it to the national intelligence agency and they said it was North Korean spies.”

Minyong says he briefly considered quitting altogether at the request of his family and friends.

In 2014, South Korean TV reported that North Korea had warned that anyone impersonating Kim Jong-un would be punished. But Minyong found he couldn’t turn his back on the money and media attention. So instead, he tries to fly beneath the radar by avoiding saying anything overly political.

“I figured out that if I’m doing this, and objecting to Kim Jong-un’s policies and saying bad stuff about him, I may possibly get killed or kidnapped,” he says.

Howard, on the other hand, is pretty bullish about any potential threats. The North Koreans can’t do anything to him, he insists.

“The blowback would be too much for them. I’m actually kind of disappointed that Minyong’s been hacked and not me, because I’ve done far more than him, in terms of being insulting to the leader.”

Howard is actually more concerned about the fact that Minyong has often been willing to work for far cheaper rates, driving down his own potential earnings. Minyong also sometimes dresses up as Kim Jong-un for nights out in Seoul even when he’s not being paid.

“When I go downtown I usually dress up as Kim Jong-un, because I’m so popular that I don’t even need to bring my wallet,” Minyong says. “Bar owners always give me free food and drinks, people buy me food and drinks, and I get free entry and queue jump to all the famous clubs.”

Howard, however, isn’t amused. “I refuse to do that kind of thing because it kind of cheapens the impersonation when you’re working for free,” he says. “I want dollars.”

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Howard has an unlikely ally in the shape of Minyong’s long-term girlfriend. She detests her boyfriend’s career as a Kim Jong-un impersonator, and has begun to limit his public appearances.

“I’d dress up as Kim Jong-un every day but my girlfriend hates the hairstyle,” Minyong admits.

“She complains every time I get a new haircut. She also hates it because when I go to bars and clubs, girls want to take photos with me, and sometimes try to hug and kiss me. We began dating before all this, and she tells me that if she knew I was going into this line of work, she never would have gone out with me. So I’m trying to minimise it and just accept things which pay really well, in order to keep her happy.”

But the stream of highly paid jobs shows no sign of drying up.

“I told the Trump impersonator, you’d better make good money now because you’ve only got four, maybe eight years if you’re lucky,” Howard says. “But these dictators, it’s a job for life. Unless he dies of high cholesterol or diabetes, I reckon I’ve got a good 30 years.”

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Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-45679260