#uk bros polycule

[spicykat9]

England Ai really likes rope. And chairs. And tying people to them. And rendering his brothers to flustered messes.

Ah yes...Sounds like Arthur. He loves tying up his partners.

Again though, I really think Arthur is the bratty sub to doms Dylan and Allie.

[secret-waleseng-stash]

Thinking about Germany + UK Polycule

Ludwig coming to visit Arthur, but Arthur gets hung up at work so Ludwig is awkwardly left with Dylan, Conner and Alastair. 

Warning, it definitely gets dubcon-esque.

I don’t have a logical progression where they all fuck. But maybe Ludwig accidentally consumes an aphrodisiac Dylan was using for a potion/spell. And well...They can’t just leave him like that not knowing when Arthur will get back.

And Ludwig feels so guilty as they kiss and caress them. It’s not like he hasn’t dreamed about how Allie’s callused hands would feel against his skin, how Dylan’s sweet voice would sound whispering sweet nothings in his ear, how Conner’s playfulness could be used in the bedroom. But those were just fantasies. And though he knows Arthur isn’t monogamous, they didn’t talk about...this. 

But what Ludwig doesn’t know, if you date one UK bro, you’re most likely going to at least fuck around with all of them. So when Arthur comes in and sees Alastair and Conner spit roasting Ludwig and Dylan comforting him, he’s not angry. A little shocked since they hadn’t discussed any of this. But also kind of turned on by the mess his brothers have made of Ludwig.

But it’s not all hot smut. Because Ludwig sees Arthur and is terrified. His mind immediately clears and he stops everything. He’s devastated that he betrayed Arthur (though part of that was because of the aphrodisiac basically limiting his logic and self control). But Arthur takes him into his arms and assures him that it’s alright. He was actually going to propose something like this. 

I’m sorry the fluff writer in me is coming out. They all help clean Ludwig and everything else and cuddle as Ludwig comes down from the last of whatever he ingested. 

[dynamoe]

→ hear the Venture Bros Xmas song on KenPlume's youtube → back to the Billy Quizboy & Pete White index

Billy Quizboy as the rabbit-toothed guitarist DAVE HILL of glam rock band SLADE— sporter of the worst bangs in rock n' roll history*— circa their 1973 Christmas #2 Merry Christmas Everybody**, which was covered as the annual Venture Bros holiday song this year by Pete White, Master Billy Quizboy, his mom and her lovers (the elderly superhero polycule).

Merriest Twelfth Day of Christmas to you, to Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer and to Slade and anyone else still reading.

I know with the orange hair & eye patch, which Dave Hill did NOT have, Billy looks more like Ziggy Stardust— the Quizboy:Slade ratio is a delicate balance.

If you're wondering why you've never heard this song before, know Slade is more of a British thing, really. They had a ton of British hits in the 1970s as a glam rock band, but didn't make any impression in the US until the 1980s after Cum on Feel the Noize was covered by Quiet Riot. They had a minor US top 20 hit, but still remained primary a British thing.

Merry Christmas Everybody— not released in the US as far as I know

Noddy Holder was more of the “face” of Slade (head to toe plaid, mutton chops, top hat covered in mirrors). I suspect the all-plaid outfit on Col. Gentleman in the Vbros cover art is a take on Noddy's look... or he ignored the brief and dressed as one of Scotland's own Bay City Rollers.

Slade suffered from a lesser case of Cheap Trick syndrome, where every member dressed like they were in a different band. Dave dressed full spaceman-- face glitter, every variety of metallic fabric available (lurex, glitter knit, vinyl, lamé). The other guitarist whose name I won't look up wore a red lurex suit (I guess that would be Pete's outfit in their cover band) which he had to keep replacing because he sweated so much on stage the fibers literally melted (one of the suits was preserved by the V&A on an episode of Secrets of the Museum) And no one cares about the drummer.

The only reason I know anything about Slade — I'm no rock trivia geek, I’m a comedy nerd — Slade was a constant punchline in 1990s British Comedy. Noddy appeared on Never Mind the Buzzcocks in the LaMar era. The 1993 sketch show The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer had a recurring mini-sitcom “Slade in Residence” (the band living in a suburban home together, wearing their stage costumes, eating nothing but cup-of-soup, obsessing over monster truck rallies and­— the key to their appeal to Vic and Bob, I imagine­— whining in thick Black Country accents.)

Billy is my Covid muse and if he stars in the annual Christmas cover (he had only sung before on 2006's VentureAid; read poems on their take on the Beatles Fan Club records), it's not like I CAN'T draw something despite saying I was done with this fan art shit. I promised a *technically* Christmas Billy drawing and I *technically* delivered. ___

*Dave Hill was just being a futuristic spaceman, those micro-bangs were the hotness on all the skater girls of the late 1990s.

**Having the #1 song at Christmas is a big deal in the UK (as you may remember from the Bill Nighy segments from Love Actually) and the 1973 slug match between Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody and the eventual winner Wizzard’s I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday looms large in music trivia, to the degree that I was sure Astrobot Go was going to release a cover a day later of some other (more fan-favored) characters doing their version of Wizzard to rain on Billy et. al’s parade.

→ Wizzard

So which character dons the beard and harlequin eye facepaint to be the guy from Wizzard? Probably Hank, right?

→ go to the Billy Quizboy & Pete White index → Nobody'sSweetheart on Instagram

[fireandspiceland]

don't hide. I truly hc that the uk brothers were fucking together with france since the begining of time. Hell yes he does. He even gets in the middle of the iberian brothers to get some and if he was not afraid of germany he would totally bang the italy brothers. It's like his ultimate wish, he would die happy

Ahh he wishes he could be there. Honestly the uk bros (or more like uk polycule) definitely like playing with him. It’s fun when the confident flirt France is reduced to a begging mess for them.

SpaPort I don’t think of as brothers but even if they aren’t related they look sooo similar you know Francis would love being sandwiched between them where he doesn’t know who’s fucking him from the front and who from the back.

And I love the idea of France being too scared of Germany to touch onto the Italies. Protective Germany <33

[peachyzephyr]

back on my bullshit thinking about fae alasdair and human arthur bc like,,,, that shit slaps but also, the other UK bros as fae too all of them taking turns to harrass Arthur who's just trying to live his life but also wouldn't complain if they fucked him in the woods

[a-luran]

Catch me listening to My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson and thinking about the isles polycule, because I'm a one-person cringe compilation :p

I read through the lyrics and not only do I think you are Very Correct in your opinions, I commend your taste. I too am thinking of the isles polycule now.

[kontextmaschine]

As a "woke" who was not expecting to lose ground, what exactly are you expecting out of this culture-war backlash? Do I have to worry about my openly-trans friends and family getting shoved back into the closet or pushed out of their homes or jobs? Do we have to start being more careful about using the word "polycule" where people can hear? Is abortion access likely to stay reduced?

Abortion and youth transition according to how blue your state and the bluer ones will take people in from the red states, but while declaring you'll solve [national issue] from your state wins votes, actually spending real resources for out-of-staters doesn't, and the Supremes nix their legal noncooperation.

Adult transition'll let the UK go first and see how it goes.

The black/brown alliance won't hold – you see Hispanics going Republican, you see what's happening even where they stay Democrats in LA. Blacks'll still broadly be a lower-middle class aiming at middle-middle stratum, those who made being Black their thing will see diminished returns.

In general, D constituencies will turn on each other, Rs won't.

I kinda hope the COVID lingerers finally make enough noise the Dems have to publicly slap them down, it'll be a good chance to put the degreed science professionals in their place as subject experts and agents properly subordinate to politician deciders who specialize in legitimacy and power-balancing, and set limits on the metastatic Clintonian "feel your pain" stuff.

Poly will keep going but as it mainstreams there will be poly bros and they'll pretty much be what you'd expect.

In other areas where everyone accepts the '60s won, drugs are normalized. You know none of them are criminalized anymore in Oregon already?

The generation of teens after Zoomers snap back to independence in time for Gen X rising to power to see themselves in them.

Rs get relatively less churchy, Ds more, though this is all relative to a general decline.

Don't think we'll get to hatcheries yet but we will lay the foundations in confronting a world where attempts to raise the birth rate are woefully insufficient even as existing attempts to accommodate society and economy to familyhood are undermined as increasingly sus redistributions of resources and priority to social segments that aren't even that favored, powerful, or politically decisive

[spicykat9]

Ukraine is pegging all of the UK bros this year. Not just England. :D

Good. They deserve it. Arthur is surpisingly very willing to her. Allie is probably a bit more bratty about it, normally being in the dominate position. And Conner doesn't have the most experience but Kateryna is really pretty and he wants to please her.

Dylan...Now Dylan is a toughy. Because outside the character ai shennagians given us pruwales and waleseng/uk polycule...I don't normally see him being interested in romance or sex...But also uk polycule x Kateryna and she makes them all kiss while she watches...

[spicykat9]

Do you think Germany and England would be into cuckolding? I can see them plan a role play where Wales takes Germany away from England and make England watch (and I headcanon that Germany is into CNC, so I usually imagine he wants it to play put like it's by force, at least at first).

Cuckolding usually isn't something for me, but as soon as you said Arthur was watching Dylan and Ludwig fuck, perhaps I like it a bit. In the right circumstances.

Also Arthur and Ludwig are both into CNC so definitely, Ludwig is at first acting like he doesn't like it, trying to "get away" because he's a loyal boyfriend or something like that. But really he loves it, and if he actually wanted to get away, he easily could over power Dylan. And though Dylan grips him firmly and presses him into the mattress, he eases him into it with soft, honey dripped words, because unlike Arthur, Dylan is a soft dom (it's the bad top, good top meme all over again lol).

Alternatively, this set up with Alastair. Because I love ScotGer a lot too. Definitely a rougher scene because he's a bit more willing to be antagonistic towards Arthur compared to Dylan and he's also a lot lest gentle than Dylan as well.

Honestly, Ludwig in general being at the mercy of all the UK bros sounds really nice actually, and I bet he'd enjoy being their personal fuck pet. Good addition to the UK Polycule methinks.

[secret-waleseng-stash]

That is actually so hot. Make is dubcon. Neither Lud or Arthur were expecting it, but they’re both very into it. 

Ludwig enjoying himself, but feeling bad because he doesn’t know how Arthur feels. Like, I’ve started enjoying the idea that Ludwig has a small crush on all the UK bros when he’s dating Arthur, so to get spitroasted by Dylan and Allie while Arthur watches is kind of a fantasy of his. But when it finally happens, he doesn’t know how Arthur feels so he just looks over to Arthur for reassurance and their eyes meet and he just gives a small smile and nod and it is all Ludwig needs to properly start enjoying himself.

Arthur being specifically tied up so he can’t jack off instead of him actually trying to resist. Also I think Arthur has a kink for being tied up so...Yeah...

Honestly just love the idea of UK polycule having partners outside of each, but they’ll occasionally bring in said partner to get dicked down by the others. Ludwig being one of said partners to come by quite often. 

[a-luran]

I'll be very honest, your blog (and a few others) are what made me ship ScotEng and UK bros so HARD

Like i was in me own bubble shipping UsUk and warming up to FrUk and all of a sudden the ScotEng thorns popped me bubble and I was gone 😭

You are also what made me choose England/Arthur as the main shippable/whore (affectionate) character. He is my fave 🥺

What made you ship ScotEng? And UK bros?

~Izzy

I'm delighted to hear that! ♡♡♡

Arthur certainly deserved to be shipped up and down and all the way around. He's just good that way.

So early on Just One Yesterday (historical, human AU) and Punch Drunk (human AU, brothers) were the two fics that really sold me on scoteng as a ship. For a wee while there were a few authors active on tumblr including myself and I feel like we built up a good sense of the characters while each keeping our own ideas and interpretations of how their relationship would develop. A lot of these fics are still archived here on tumblr, some are quite short, but it was fun! I really enjoy the fact that this was the first ship that I was consistently making content for, I think it really helped me develop as a writer-- even when i stopped sharing my writing (as well as moving on to different fandoms).

As for shipping the whole lot of them together hehe well!

I think my interpretation of the brothers is a little different from what most people write. I enjoy the idea of their brotherhood as both a choice and something they grow into. The idea of found families that don't follow traditional nuclear structures has always been something near and dear to my heart, I just love it so much. On top of that there is an element of deep-rooted conflict that appeals to me; I tend to think of nation avatars as uniquely their own. Individuals who are deeply connected to a land and people, reflecting both, but still themselves. Individuals with desires and hopes, dreams, fears, who love and hate sometimes in opposition to the world around them. I think that there is something very human in writing characters that bear witness the very worst and very best of humanity and embody history. But I digress.

I could go on forever as to why I like them as a polycule (with one caveat being that I like it best of all when it's Arthur and Alasdair together romantically while Wales and Ireland look on, long-suffering) but the briefest way I can put it is that I think it is so funny and endlessly endearing to have a group of characters who seem so different at their surface but are so alike in truth. Who are all so annoyed that out of all the people they may have ended up with it's these bastards. Proper miffed about it AS THOUGH THEY DIDN'T MAKE EVERY CHOICE ALONG THE WAY THAT LED THEM HERE.

"A moment of fucking peace!" laments Arthur, as though he doesn't find every excuse to have some company around.

"Cannae believe I have tae share a roof with you" WHO CHOSE THE WALLPAPER ALASDAIR. WHO OUT OF ALL OF YOU IS THE ONE WHO LOVINGLY MAKES SURE THAT THE WINDOWS ARE WATER TIGHT, THAT THE FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR HOME, THAT YOU ALL SHARE, ARE STURDY AND LASTING.

I could go on and on ksks but I have an early morning start so I hope this is aa good enough answer for now xx