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dootdootwriting · 2 years ago

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hihi! can I request a romantic kazuha x reader fic, when he returns home from wandering around? thank you!

with love,

-🧊☕️

i leave for so long and when i get back i have emoji anons...... this is the best day of my life clearly i've made it as a writer/hj

also i have over 700 followers now i dont know how THAT happened but i'm glad u guys like my words!!

sorry i've been gone for so long :,) turns out finishing high school is kind of a big deal ?? but i'm back now so :) hit me w ur requests and im so sorry again LMAO

pairing: kazuha x reader; platonic thoma, ayaka, & ayato x reader tw: mentions of loneliness; uhhhhhh inazuma quest spoilers i suppose????, beidou lifts an entire anchor by herself because listen to me when i tell you this woman is BUILT. wife. this isnt a trigger but it IS important. type: written, (angst to(?)) fluff, this is SO cheesy somebody shoot me PLEASE my brain is ROTTING pronouns: NONE LOL :D

KAZUHA had left only a day or two after the vision hunt decree had been lifted. Though he was no longer considered an enemy of the state, he'd told you he'd still felt uncomfortable, that people still trailed their gazes after him, and that he still hid instinctively sometimes from Kujou Sara and her men.

It made sense, of course. And since he'd been helping aboard captain Beidou's ship for so long, she'd gladly offered to let him tag along with her crew for a while longer to help take the edge off things. Kazuha was grateful, and though he promised he'd miss you (and you knew he would), you could tell he was relieved when he boarded the ship one more time.

It had been around four months since he'd left.

Letters had been delivered, written full of everything he'd seen and sometimes delivered with foreign flowers that had reminded him or you or trinkets fashioned from grass or tree bark in his spare time. From the words on the pages, you could tell he was making the most of his journey, and that taking in so many new places was, for him, the best of vacations.

For you, however, it meant loneliness.

You had your friends, who you would meet up with from time to time at Komore Teahouse. You would engage in ridiculous hotpot games with the Kamisatos and Thoma. You would pet Taroumaru's obnoxiously, adorably fluffy pelt. And while these were excellent pastimes and helped get your mind away from Kazuha for a few moments, your thoughts always circled back to him in the end.

So when finally, after three and a half months of waiting, you got a letter saying he was on his way back, you were overjoyed. You told everyone you could think of. Ayaka laughed with you and gave you a bear hug (then quickly coughed and apologized, though you told her she had nothing to worry about). Taroumaru barked happily and wagged his tail, too polite a dog to jump on you. Thoma congratulated you loudly from his seemingly permanent abode of the bathroom, and Ayato smiled sincerely at you, which seemed to be about the most he could do without laughing at Thoma's predicament (poor guy).

And all this led to you now, feet planted firmly on the docks despite your nervous stomach seeming to be in your throat, eyes trained desperately on the horizon for any sign of the Alcor and its fleet. News had come yesterday that it would be arriving shortly, and, being so kind and incredibly connected, Thoma had delivered the news to you.

Finally, after what seemed like days but was most likely just over an hour, something caught your eye. It seemed like just a shadow at first, but it quickly became more visible, and with it the sound of a whistling tune only one person could make. Kazuha sat, as laid-back as ever, in the crow's nest, a blade of grass in hand at his lips. The lookout officially on duty tapped him a few times on the shoulder and pointed at the docks, and Kazuha quickly sat up, eyes darting around to find you.

It wasn't long before he did, and with the Crux coming in so quickly, you could spot the exact moment when he spotted you. Kazuha's entire face lit up into a grin so wide you'd probably only seen it on him once before. His hair whipped about into his face and out into the wind, and he waved with both hands stretched as far as he could, letting go of the blade of grass he had been playing just a moment before. It danced out into the wind, and by the time you couldn't see it anymore, the Alcor had pulled up to the dock, and Beidou waved to you before hoisting the anchor overboard.

Kazuha wasted no time. Almost like a cat, he leapt from his perch and hit the deck of the ship so hard you almost worried if he'd injured himself. You didn't have the time to, however, because as soon as his feet touched the Alcor, Kazuha was running toward you at full speed, swooping you up in his arms and laughing to the point where, if you were able to catch a glimpse of his face while yours was buried in his shirt, you would have noticed tears.

"I missed you," he said, and it wasn't loud. It was almost whispered, so quiet that only the two of you could hear it.

"I missed you, too," you replied, and without another word, Kazuha grabbed your face uncharacteristically roughly and pressed his lips against yours. It felt like he kissed you for almost as long as you'd been waiting for him to come back. Though the world moved along outside, the two of you were in your little bubble, as if the archons had been so merciful as to grant you a little pocket of immortality to enjoy just this once.

Kazuha pulled away after a few moments, cheeks flushed as red as the autumn leaves he adored so much. You felt heat rush into yours as well.

"Do you want to do anything now that you're back? I can help you carry things if you need," you offered, your hand finding its home holding his.

"Let's just go home," Kazuha answered, his own hand squeezing yours in response.

After all this time waiting, you think, you are more than happy to oblige.

#genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #genshin x reader #GOD THE WHOLE TIME WRITING I WAS SWAPPING BETWEEN #THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN #AND THIS IS THE CRINGIEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN #maybe its both..#gi kazuha #gn!reader

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S5 Ep5: Female Friends

So I was up hella late because of Daylight Savings screwing my sleep schedule, and I was on Twitch and one of the people I follow was speedrunning a Yugioh game (I think it was called Forbidden Memories like it was some Romance YA novel) and I was like “that’s a thing?” And I watched about 15 minutes of just complete nonsense. Like this game makes no sense when your scrubbing through 30 minutes of gameplay, but when a whole game takes 45 seconds and they have mechanics using like planets and astrology symbols? What?

What?

Y’all, I’m a little concerned your card game ain’t real. Like this is some ploy by knowing adults and this is some sort of Santa Claus situation where everyone else knows that this game ain’t real, but I’m the last person alive who’s like... “it is real though, right?” Hoping that I haven’t been played all of these years, despite having literally no empirical evidence that it is.

Just saying, I’m on to you, Yugioh.

Thanks dub.

I am pretty convinced (could be wrong) but pretty convinced that Grandpa was probably just normal horny in this scene. Like it just kinda matches what I know about horny grandpa tropes (that and Vivian is really talked up to be this hot stuff although she’s just youknow...some girl who exists.)

He immediately falls over. Like immediately, and I don’t know what’s up with Grandpa’s weird slipped disc, but luckily this is the one thing that Mokuba is prepared to deal with as a park manager.

Or what was his job again, Master of Ceremonies? That was the name of Mokuba’s actual chosen job that a 12-13 yo would choose?

Only Mokuba would have the choice to choose “a literal astronaut” and not choose an astronaut. This kid probably hates space though, with his family’s countless war machines now currently flying through the void.

The amount of times that the Kaibas have had to call a doctor for these guys.

(read more under the cut)

Bro was like “So Hawkins paid Grandpa to pretend to fall down so they could ditch Rebecca’s duel, right?” and youknow...probably. It was a pretty boring duel. They got off scott free.

Rex and Weevil do cartoon antics that actually feel like cartoon antics--which feels so weird for this show. Of course, it also has this Vivian plotline that is a little sus for a children’s show?

OK, show. You keep throwing women at Yugi Muto, and I get it’s a joke because he’s the world’s most undateable boy but there is a line of plausibility that even for a kid’s cartoon show it’s like “eh, probably not.”

Anyway, Vivian has Cho Chang energy of “I’m here for a problematic romantic conflict that never needed to happen and hamfisted diversity and uhhhhhh that’s it! I won’t exist after book 5!”

What a step down from dueling on top of the train, right? Like this whole time you could have just dueled next to it? What? In this show?

The rest of the party show up to the train station, where there’s really no other audience watching. Like where are Rebecca’s adoring fans who were asking for her autograph like 3 episodes back?

Card culture is brutal, y’all.

Vivian is not drawn like a 16 yo, being real. I was pretty surprised that she was under 25 according to a cursory Google search. Course, Joey Wheeler is drawn like a built adult, too, so I think the only convincing teenage child on this show is Pharaoh because at least he’s short. Just ignore how sometimes he’s got muscles on his arms that have no right to be there at the age of 16. (17?)

Then we had like a little Season Zero vibes where everyone just picks on Yugi for a hot minute.

And so Tea’s character development comes full circle as she realizes that this whole time, the Female Friend she needed was already here in the form of that small child who has a crush on her kinda boyfriend.

This was such an episode written by a bunch of dudes.

But at least Rebecca and Tea found something in common, although I really wish it wasn’t Yugi, considering how little on screen development he has with either of them. Where’s the reward for me as the viewer? If I cared about either of this love pentagon at all (well, hexagon...Bakura’s still in there.) there will never be a payout. You very well may be waiting forever for a relationship the writers clearly had never any intention to ever write except to act as a foil for our protagonists instead of like...a relationship.

And the show seems a little inconsistent with the relationship between Rebecca and Tea, too. They hang out a lot as the girls on the sideline, and appear to get along a lot of the time--but then they hate eachother a lot of the time as well because of jealousy? It’s just so weird.

I feel like TV shows in general have a really hard time approaching girl friendships, and speaking as a girl, I wish TV and books recognized more that our female friendships don’t have to be so freakin serious. We just act friendly and that’s freakin it.

That and these girls are going to go right back to hating eachother half the time after this is over because the main problem--Yugi not piping up and telling one of them to back the hell off--has never been addressed and never will be because Yugi is a broken, broken wet blanket.

Back at the base, Seto is also making up his own problems to be upset about in the absence of any apocalypses happening on screen.

Unless that hacker is Noah Kaiba, you’re probably fine. I really haven’t had too much of a reason to feel any fear over Zigfried von Schroeder. And maybe it’s because his character design was pretty complicated so no one wanted to draw it.

This was a ‘who’s on first’ joke but still.

...why do cards have to be like this?

Also, I didn’t see anything about this nonsense in the speedrun I watched the other night so, guys, this game ain’t real.

Anyway, Rebecca won.

We find out a little more of what happens to other duelists. Our Cowboy lost to a Sherlock Holmes boy, and I was very happy that I don’t have to come up with jokes about country music because I have none other than like...Taylor Swift jokes? Does she still count as country? I have no idea what’s going on in the country music scene.

On other side of the park, Yugioh decide to pay another tribute to the creative crotch shot with one of these:

Rex and Weevil are off to fight the big bad, and when you think “OK, we’re gonna get a wacky duel battle with these two balancing on top of eachother,” they kinda whiffed it before they made it to the stage.

And then I kind of whiffed it when I realized that Mokuba and Weevil have never spoken in the same place before and they have the same exact font color so fml.

The fact that Mokuba didn’t realize anything was wrong until they fell and revealed they were two small adults in a trench coat says a lot about most of the competitors in this duel.

It is incredible how both the Battle City Tournament and the Kaiba Corp Tourney (s that it’s name?) are both poorly managed, but in a different way. The Battle City Tourney unfortunately had a bunch of murderers in it. This tournament, no one is killing eachother, but they are still kind of sneaking in through the back door and being chronically late to everything.

(and I just want to point out that after the last match Mokuba oversaw that had Joey nearly miss the appointment, Mokuba decided to set this one in front of a Giant Clock just to get his point across)

So Zigfried has some sort of flying horse card that wiped them out right away, which makes you wonder........

.............why use any other cards?

Kaiba makes these cards, right????

Like he should be the last person who’s surprised????

Anyway, Zigfried top-decked a horse, and the guy who spends about 15 minutes getting ready his big ol blue eyes dragons every match he’s ever played was like “Yo I have GOT to get into speedrunning!”

And yes, the speedrun I was watching did not use Blue Eyes White Dragons. They were using a bunch of other stuff that I tried to look up just now and the art is completely different from what I recall so...unfortunately that means that your game is fake. Pretty sure it’s fake and you have no way to prove to me this is real.

Anyway, that’s it for now, not much to say since we’re still at the beginning of the arc. Next week I guess we’ll find out if Seto ever removes his ass from this chair.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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starswallowingsea · 2 years ago

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okay i'm working on them now. there's gonna be probably 6-7 of them

having ideas for ocs/self inserts for enstars

#IF ANY ENSTARS MUTUALS WANT TO MAKE AN OC FOR THIS LMK I WOULD LOVE YOU #i will 100% dump on you what i already have for the general overview of the characters #ie instrumentation groups and what they do at es basically #i already have some ideas for my own self insert but uhhhhhh everything else is up for grabs and nothing is set in stone yet #srb #see my tags on the op for like. context on what im talking about but tl;dr is that they're #the musicians who make the instrumentation tracks for all the units #its just like one group of like 6 people #6-7. probably 6 #i need to analyze more of their music to figure out like. if im missing anything or if #instruments overlap in a song i didnt think they did #(like i have one person on all woodwinds and one on all brass + violin to cut down on characters but #idk if there's any songs that have brass + violin or multiple woodwinds which would require some restructuring #depending on if that song has instruments in another group or not #yknow?#anyway.#)

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slaughtergutz · 4 years ago

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im just thinking about how bloodlines is such a racist fucking song honestly

people not getting that Nathan is literally a satirical take on white men who claim native ancestry because of a percentage in their geneology is really telling about tumblr’s comprehension

brendon literally wrote nathan saying he was “1/84th yaneemango” in an interview once im ajshnfgkhl guys please

editing this post in case the tags are illegible for whatever reason:

#i don't know how to tell you that comparing native people to bloodthirsty animals is uhhhhhh

#extremely dehumanizing and racist

#nathan cannot reclaim this imagery he isn't real

#brendon is a white man

#the yannemango are not real

#and in any case they were also never victims of genocide on account of them literally being a thriving people in a remote part of the amazon

#the experience of remote tribes living in the amazon is not anywhere near the same as native people living in the USA

#'but people call him tonto' yeah i think you're missing the point bud

#yes he is literally 1/4th yannemango but i reiterate the above statements

#the fact that brendon spoofs that is like HELLO GUYS IT'S RIGHT THERE

#putting this stuff in the tags while also having there be a read more is pretty pointless but

#listen we've already come this far

#i guess you could headcanon him as actually trying to engage with his culture or have other native ancestry but that would be kind of

#missing the entire point

#i would tag this but i really don't feel like fighting off dethklok fans because They Really Are Like That

and boy did they not disappoint! the only thing brutal here is people’s thin skin and poor reading comprehension honestly

#i don't know how to tell you that comparing native people to bloodthirsty animals is uhhhhhh #extremely dehumanizing and racist #nathan cannot reclaim this imagery he isn't real #brendon is a white man #the yannemango are not real #and in any case they were also never victims of genocide on account of them literally being a thriving people in a remote part of the amazon #the experience of remote tribes living in the amazon is not anywhere near the same as native people living in the USA #'but people call him tonto' yeah i think you're missing the point bud #yes he is literally 1/4th yannemango but i reiterate the above statements #the fact that brendon spoofs that is like HELLO GUYS IT'S RIGHT THERE #putting this stuff in the tags while also having there be a read more is pretty pointless but #listen we've already come this far #i guess you could headcanon him as actually trying to engage with his culture or have other native ancestry but that would be kind of #missing the entire point #i would tag this but i really don't feel like fighting off dethklok fans because They Really Are Like That

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zigtheeortega · 4 years ago

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out of time

✿ pairing: sienna x danny

✿ word count: 3354

✿ warnings: death, loss

✿ author’s note: well, i thought i’d just flesh out what we didn’t get to see, since i highly doubt they’ll expand on it since it’s off screen. it’s not my best work, but it was written out of spite so hopefully that makes up for the lack of quality LMAO. anyways, i tagged everybody who liked this post and added it to the end since there were quite a few! [sidenote: i wrote this post after i’d started this fic so if you see similarities, that’s why] i really hope you like it and that i did both sienna and danny justice!

•─────────✦✿✦────────•

She sprinted down the hallway, pager still beeping erratically on her hip, the weight of the numbers enough to make her feel like she was slugging through wet concrete.

No, no, not him, please, not him, she chanted to herself, vision blurring with tears before she had the chance to let the negative possibilities set in.

He’s gonna be okay. It’s okay. We’re okay.

Thankfully she was only one floor away, taking the steps two at a time, shoes squeaking against the waxy floor. Sweat formed on her brow as she shoved through the stair’s exit door, pushing past every intern in her way.

Normally she’d stop to apologize, but not today. She didn’t know how much time she had. It could be minutes, and she wasn’t going to waste even a second apologizing when someone’s life was on the line.

She saw the small crowd forming outside of the room and barrelled towards them without a second thought, tearing her way to the front.

When she saw Spencer’s terrorized gaze, her chest tightened involuntarily. Her body covered the entrance to the room, so she could barely see into the room, but she did catch a glimpse of something that made her blood run cold.

A purple pant leg strewn across the floor, ankle relaxed, unmoving, peeking out behind Spencer’s side.

“Sienna, stop. You can’t go any further,” Ethan murmured, gently holding her in place with his arm.

“But I have to – Danny – he’s –” she struggled against his grip, lip wobbling.

“Please,” he said, more of a statement than a question, like he was holding back, too, the strain in his voice enough to stop her in her tracks.

She watched, helpless, as Spencer and Rafael scrambled to seal the room, Bobby convulsing on the ground, Travis passed out, and Danny getting weaker and weaker by the second.

It was like turning on the news and seeing tragedy after tragedy – she always felt absolutely helpless. Her empathy always felt like a curse in those moments. She couldn’t stop herself from feeling everything, whether she wanted to or not.

She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her fingernails into her side, rocking from foot to foot. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Danny’s frail form on the ground.

“Hey, I came here as fast as I could,” a voice huffed at her side. She turned, met with Jackie’s concerned gaze, hands on her hips as she panted, tiny sweat stains dotting her teal scrubs.

“It’s… All of them, Jackie, –” she couldn’t find the words to quite describe the soul crushing weight of the situation.

Bobby, Rafael, Spencer, and Danny… people that had been her emotional rocks through the lowest points of her life.

Bobby was her unsung hero. He’d keep guard while she cried in the supply closet so she wasn’t disturbed, in return for a dozen of her chocolate chip cookies. After the first few times, she brought him baked goods weekly regardless of whether she had a breakdown or not.

Rafael was her empath twin, as weird as it sounded. She’d branded them that as a joke, between giggles, on her late night break at the cafeteria. Despite it being stated jokingly, it was true – they found themselves confiding in each other each time they faced a difficult situation, bonding over the fact that their jobs took a lot more out of them than the normal person.

Spencer was her late night confidante, the person who she’d crawl into bed with at 3 a.m. after having another detailed nightmare where she was cursed with endless terminal patients. There weren’t that many people she’d platonically cuddle and sob until she was a snotting mess next to.

And Danny… he was the future. He was a vision of what she’d always wanted.

It took her too long to break away from Wayne’s hold. She knew he was toxic, but she didn’t want to admit it – how was she supposed to admit that she’d been wrong for that long?

With Danny, she was comfortable. He got her in a way no one else did. He had the potential to be every single role that her friends played simultaneously.

God, and she’d told him she needed time. She hadn’t properly healed from Wayne so she needed some time before she moved on and –

Now it’s too late, she thought to herself as she watched them wheel out Travis and Danny in glass cases.

And Bobby in a body bag.

“Holy shit,” Jackie breathed, eyes widening. “Fuck – Oh my god, Sienna –”

The tears were already flowing as she slammed her face into Jackie’s chest, body wracked with inconsolable sobs.

She’d never hugged Jackie like this before, as she hated physical affection unless it was… PG-13.

Jackie stiffened, but wrapped her arms around Sienna’s shoulders, patting her back, slowly melting into the embrace.

“We’ll visit him as soon as we can,” she said in her ear, holding Sienna up as she nearly crumbled.

––––

Danny’s body was still, the only movement his heaving chest as he took shallow, labored breaths, his normally warm skin tone muted, drained of color.

“Hey, it’s me,” she called as she closed the door behind her, voice shaky, tote bag at her side. “I hope you can hear me.”

No response.

“Uh… I brought some of our favs. Secret of Ninradell and some music to play so hopefully it makes your dreams a little sweeter – ” she forced a laugh, trying to keep her brave face. “I brought some cookies that I baked last night – uh, I’m sorry they’re not fresh – I –”

Her voice cracked, and she rolled her lips together to keep her chin from trembling. She dragged a nearby chair closer to the glass box, sliding into it, never taking her eyes from his face.

God, why did it have to be you? She thought to herself, covering her mouth with her hands as she cried, her soft sobs muted by the loud machines monitoring his vitals.

She popped open the cover of the hardback, highlighter in hand. “I’m gonna read this to you, if that’s okay? I’m highlighting passages that remind me of you,” she smiled sadly, watching his eyes roll underneath their lids. He was dreaming.

“I know you hate when I mark up books. That’s the librarian speaking, huh?” She giggled, remembering the time he told her about his job in the campus library, and his deep hatred for the Dewey decimal system.

She began reading, trying her best at different accents, failing miserably, but it distracted her from reality if just momentarily.

Her year had been full of blow after crushing blow, both professionally and personally. Losing Wayne, breaking the news to terminal patients, dealing with the toll it took on her mental health, as well as dealing with an intern that was using her – she wasn’t stupid. She just would rather suck it up than have someone upset with her that was supposed to look up to her. Stupid, but she couldn’t handle the thought of disappointing another person.

Hours later, voice hoarse, pages and pages marked up, her hands stained with neon yellow ink, she was drifting off to sleep where she sat – but a groan startled her awake.

“Uhhhhhh,” he moaned, visibly in pain, writhing uncomfortably.

“Danny? Hey, I’m here,” she rushed forward to the box, pressing her hand up against the side, hoping he could feel the warmth of her hand through the glass.

“Sienna…?” He asked, eyes fluttering open and closed. He couldn’t focus on her face.

“I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

“Good,” he croaked, weakly flopping his hand to touch the glass.

He didn’t know it, but those two words were enough to strengthen her withering resolve. She fell asleep cradling the glass, arm slung over the top.

–––

She was ripped from her sleep by intense beeping from the machines surrounding Danny, and she glanced down, peering through the glass at Danny’s quivering form, switching between violent shakes and gentle shivers.

She slammed the emergency button and quickly went to work trying to find the source of the issue, waiting for the nurses to come as back up.

“Danny. Danny, stay with me. Listen to my voice. Hold on, alright? Nurses are heading here now, and we’re going to take care of you,” she said calmly, betraying her shaking hands.

They set to work immediately, trying to keep him from slipping into unconsciousness, all four nurses working swiftly, nimble fingers and precise movements, never getting into each others’ way.

Sienna watched from outside as they worked, glass box open, desperately wishing she had a hazmat suit. Ethan and Jackie observed, giving calm commands.

“Sienna!”

She turned, eyes red rimmed from crying and lack of sleep, startling Elijah as he rolled to a stop next to her.

“Jackie asked me to send an intern up to bring you a hazmat suit… but I thought I’d bring it myself, to check on you,” he said, eyebrows furrowed, handing the folded hazmat suit from his lap to her arms.

“Don’t feel like you need to talk to me right now, alright? I’ll wait out here, if you need me.” He gave her a sympathetic smile as he patted her arm.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, hastily throwing on the hazmat suit and ripping at the zipper, growing more and more frustrated as it caught on her clothes. “Come on. Come on, come on –”

“Here, let me help,” Elijah offered. “Bend down and I’ll zip it up.”

She followed his instruction and squatted as Elijah glided the zipper upwards, patting her back softly when he was done.

And like before, she had no time to thank him. She didn’t want to miss one second with Danny.

She burst into the room, not disturbing the hive-like efficiency of the nurses.

She watched as they poked and prodded and worked tirelessly to keep him conscious. There was an undeniable tension in the air, stretched so thin it could snap at any moment.

The strained atmosphere of the room didn’t come from the doctors – it came from the nurses. Sienna knew how much Danny meant to his coworkers. He was always the first to resolve conflict and make people feel at ease.

They were tight knit; losing Danny would be a crushing blow.

“Please, Jackie, tell me what’s happening,” she said between panicky breaths, unable to contain her anxiety. “I need to know.”

“We’re trying to stabilize him… but we’re not sure what’s causing him to go into shock in the first place,” Jackie said, brows furrowed.

Three long, painful minutes later, his heart rate returned to normal, his whole body in a feverish sweat.

“That took a lot out of him,” Sienna whispered, watching a nurse press a damp, cool cloth to his forehead and neck.

“You know we have to get rid of your bag, right? It’s contaminated,” Jackie grimaced, motioning to the nurse that was zipping it into a sealed bag, about to throw it away.

“No, you can’t – I didn’t even get to finish reading Ninradell to him last night,” Sienna pleaded, rushing forward to the nurse.

“You can’t take it out of this room,” Ethan shook his head, his statement dismissive, but his tone of voice sympathetic.

“Can I at least finish reading it to him? I promise I’ll dispose of it properly. I just… I need some more time with him.”

“I don’t think –” “I’ll stay with her,” Jackie nodded, holding Ethan’s gaze. “Don’t worry, I’ll page you if anything happens.”

With one firm tilt of his chin, he left the room, presumably towards Spencer and Rafael.

“We think he can hear what’s going on around him, so it’s actually a great idea to read to him,” Jackie said, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It might help pull him through this.”

Jackie grabbed the bag from the nurse wordlessly, handing it back to Sienna. “You can take a break,” she said to the group of nurses anxiously huddled next to Danny. “We’ll watch over him.”

One of them started sealing the box, but Sienna stopped them with a frantic “Wait.”

“Keep it open. I’ll seal it later,” Jackie ordered gently.

She slipped into the seat next to him, holding firmly onto the edge of the glass.

Jackie must’ve noticed she was debating whether or not she should touch him, so she confirmed it for her. “You can touch him. Don’t be afraid.”

“But I am,” she said, voice cracking, tears threatening to spill. It was tiresome how much she’d cried over the past twelve hours.

She was thankful he’d held on for that long, but she had no idea when it was coming. From his steadily declining health as well as appearance, it was inevitable.

“I’m so scared,” Sienna whispered, refusing to look at her, eyes trained on the rise and fall of his chest.

“You have every right to be, babe. I’m so sorry,” Jackie said, striding over to rest an arm around her shoulders.

“I… told him I needed more time to be me, you know? I needed to figure out more about me because with Wayne and with surviving last year and the stuff with Spencer and Mrs. Martinez and – and –” she cut herself off, trying to regain her composure.

“You lost sight of who you were.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. Everything I thought I knew was thrown out the window and it’s like I haven’t even had time to recover,” she said, her voice still wavering.

“I did the same thing last year. But you can’t beat yourself up about it. You never in a million years would’ve guessed that this could happen.”

Sienna took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to unravel the tight coil in her chest. “But he was the only thing making coming to work worth it. I like him a lot and I just… told him to wait.”

“If he had a problem with that, he would’ve moved on.”

She glanced up, met with Jackie’s soft expression, sympathetic and kind – so much different than the tough exterior she was used to. “Don’t blame yourself, Sienna. It’ll break you.”

She knew she was right, but the nagging voice at the back of her mind wouldn’t allow her to let it go.

She cracked the book open, flipping to the last page she’d read from, about two-thirds into it. But before she could start reading, Danny stirred.

His hand twitched, his fingers flexing like he was grabbing for something. Without a second thought she grasped his hand between her glove-clad palms, the book clamoring onto the ground.

“Sienna…” he whispered, trying to open his eyes, but they fluttered shut, like a weight pulling at his lashes.

She wanted desperately to see his bright eyes again, to hear him to reassure her that it’d all work out. That she’d be okay. That he’d be okay.

“Hey, I’m here,” she said, lightly squeezing her hand.

He moaned, presumably in pain, wiggling like he couldn’t stay still.

“How bad is your pain on a scale 1-10? I’m gonna count up and you squeeze my hand to stop me, alright?”

He gave a weak tilt of his chin, a single nod the only thing he could muster.

She began counting. “One… two… three…”

Nothing.

She kept counting, feeling a weak squeeze when she said “Nine.”

“I’ve never felt this bad before,” he whispered, Sienna having to lean in to hear him.

“Danny, if it’s a ten, you need to tell me,” she chewed the inside of her lip, already racking her brain for the best pain medicine that wouldn’t react with the mystery poison.

“It’s not at a ten…” He stirred, wincing, managing a weak smile. “Because you’re here with me.”

He sighed, like it took a lot out of him to say two sentences.

“That was so sweet,” she said, glancing up at Jackie, knowing her haunted expression would ruin the moment if she let him see it.

Jackie looked equally as upset, her jaw set, fists clenched at her side.

“Stop it, Dr. Varma… you’ve done –” he took another deep, shuddering breath. “You’ve done so much for me already.”

“So have you. You’re a trooper,” Jackie nodded, looking up at the ceiling. Sienna couldn’t tell if she was trying to hold back tears or keep herself from thinking about it. “Thanks for holding out for us, Danny.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can, though,” he said, gripping Sienna’s hand, opening his eyes unexpectedly.

She shook her head, holding his hand to her chest. “No, don’t think like that. You can hold on for a while longer. I believe in you.”

“Sienna… You’re my favorite person,” he breathed, looking up at her with a spark of life in his eyes, a contrast from the gaunt look of his face. His dark circles gave the allusion that his eyes were sunken in, a skeleton of who he was less than 24 hours ago.

It scared the hell out of her how quickly he changed – and how content he looked with slipping away.

“You have to let them test on me,” he squeezed her hand. “It’ll help.”

“No, you’re gonna be fine –”

“It’s okay,” he reassured her, a soft smile adorning his lips, pale and cracked. “You’ll be okay.”

He craned his neck, trying to hold his head up. Sienna slipped her hand underneath the nape of his neck, supporting him. He tilted his head forward, lightly pressing his damp forehead against her hazmat suit.

She leaned forward, pressing hers against the loose protective fabric, feeling the warmth of his skin through it.

“You can’t go, I – your family hasn’t even gotten to visit you –” She choked, the warm tears dotting the thick plastic screen, streaking down to fall farther into her suit.

“They couldn’t get here in time,” he said, matter-of-factly.

They sat there like that for a while. Her concept of time was thrown out the window as soon as she got the initial page, so it could’ve been ten seconds or ten minutes.

“Thank you for reading to me.”

She laughed, sniffling. “We spent all night talking about Ninradell, so it was only fitting I stayed up all night to read it to you.”

Another little while passed. Talking took so much out of him, that he had to take a few breaks between his speech so he wouldn’t pass out from exhaustion. “Don’t blame yourself,” he said, cutting through the silence. “You couldn’t have stopped this.”

She stared at her hands, clasped around his own, drained of color. He’d closed his eyes, so thankfully he couldn’t see her pained expression.

“I know. I can’t help but feel responsible for everything, even when it’s out of my control… I’m so sorry,” she said, voice breaking for the millionth time. She could barely form words without choking on them.

She cursed herself for not being stronger. Overwhelming emotion was enough to render her speechless, meanwhile Danny was pushing through searing pain in order to leave her with words she’d carry with her forever.

He’d mustered his last bit of energy to tell her to be kind to herself.

The machine behind him beeped. His heart rate had slowed to a crawl, and he was gone before Jackie could spring to action.

And when his hand went limp in between her palms, she let out an inhuman wail that no one, not even Spencer, had heard before.

––––

tags: @saintniceguy ; @part-of-the-circus ; @vandalasal ; @dudebro-lahela ; @averysheart-raleighsdick ; @cptnvers ; @bringing-back-socks-with-sandals ; @la-huerta ; @ironysyndrome ; @anotordinarygoldfish ; @pumpkinbutt ; @browneyedmissy ; @soo-empty ; @anonymous2094 ; @lumpyspaceprincessismybitch ; @lady-stirling ; @papinaveensbitch ; @writinghereandthere ; @unusualvisionsblog ; @beccadavenport ; @messofakind ; @violinet ; @serafinedupont ; @raleiighcarrera ; @pixeljazzy ; @pixelsandkink ; @altairadtaz

#open heart #sienna trinh #danny cardinal #sienna x danny #danny x sienna #my fic #jade writes choices fics #sorry if i normally tag u and forgot !!!#prob need to make a taglist but i am SO inconsistent im sorry #also im sorry if this isn't great LMAO again i wrote this out of rage and pure spite so #like i said hopefully that makes up for it !!!#very nervous ab this one !!!!#tw death #tw loss

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incomprehensiblelentils · 4 years ago

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@dollsome-does-tumblr does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

#sometimes I write things

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damienthepious · 4 years ago

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tuesday is the only day i care aboutttttttt ily

Going Through Changes, Ripping Out Pages (chapter 8)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ao3] [ch 9] [ch 10] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, (uhhhhh sorta), Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (WE WILL GET THERE…… EVENTUALLY)

Summary: Lord Arum wakes to discover that some things have changed while he slept. Namely, there is a human in his bed.

Chapter Summary: The bed Arum sleeps in is even warmer, tonight.

Chapter Notes: I hope to hell we swim to gentler waters in this fic sometime soon. uhhhhhh hope you're having fun still? <3

Arum did not intend to fall asleep when he laid himself stiffly in the small bed beside the humans. He did not, in fact, intend to come into the room in the first place, but-

(The Keep chastises him for creeping close to the room it has supplied for the humans, chastises him for spying, but only gently. When he is close, when he slinks down the hallway outside of where the Keep has them tucked away, he hears-

Any lingering suspicion, any remaining worry at the back of his mind that these creatures are false in their feelings, any remaining doubt in that direction crumbles, because Amaryllis is crying. Not some dramatic, theatrical, romantic tears, but thin, gasping, choked off sobs that Arum can tell, even through the vine-woven walls, that she is trying to bury, trying to suppress.

What lie would that serve? In the dead of night, distant from where Arum should be, muffled quiet so that he would not be able to hear if he had not gone snooping- what lie could that possibly serve? An impossibly elaborate one, he thinks, not for the first time, but it is so weak a defense now, so utterly absurd next to the simplicity of the truth.

They care for him.

Rather- they care for Lord Arum, the creature that they knew before his mind was wrested away from him, leaving him some pale shadow of whoever it is that he should be. Whoever it is that he has grown to be, in his missing time.

He can hear Sir Damien's voice as well, sonorous and too low to be understood, but comforting. Rilla does not sound comforted, however. She sounds frantic, miserable-

Nothing like the calm, flat front she had shown, earlier in the evening.

Does that mean, then, that she had been... pretending not to be... pretending to be steady, pretending not to be hurt... for his sake? If it were for Damien's sake alone, surely she would not break down in his arms, but-

"All it did was make me feel like- like I was kissing the wrong monster," she gasps, wavering just loudly enough for Arum to hear her words, "and- and like I was betraying- betraying Arum," he hears her say, and Arum's breath catches before she continues, "our Arum-"

Their Arum. The monster either buried within him or burnt out of him, depending on their luck.)

Arum did not intend to enter the room, let alone lie down beside them, let alone actually fall asleep.

(Perhaps, Arum thinks with his hand on the wall, perhaps he may at least provide a convenient target for her helplessness. Perhaps she can take that sorrow and transmute it into fury, if he only-)

Rilla falls asleep first. He can hear when her breathing goes from deliberately controlled evenness to a softer, more natural rhythm. Damien takes longer, his cheek resting on her shoulder as it rises and falls. He is perfectly still, unmoving, his back towards Arum, but something about his stillness- Arum can tell that it takes him rather a long time to fall asleep. He does not speak again.

("Goodnight, my love," Damien whispers to Rilla, separated by mere inches from him, and Arum tightens his grip on the sheets enough to perforate them, his lungs heavy in his chest.)

Damien does not speak again, and after a long, long while, the silent tension within him eases, the lines of his body softening subtly in the dark.

Arum could kill them.

Such trusting creatures, to fall asleep in arm's reach of a monster. He could kill them, so terribly easily. With only his claws, he could. He could.

Such trusting creatures. He watches them breathe slowly, wrapped in each other's arms, vulnerable and soft and radiating such vivid heat that he can feel it, even separated as they are. It prickles at his scales, making the pair of them nearly glow in the darkness of the room.

... What, precisely, did Arum do, to earn such trust? How did this soft-clawed version of himself slip his way into their bed, into their affections? Why did they decide he was worth-

They breathe slowly, in the dark, wrapped in each other's arms.

Arum reaches out a hand. Clawed, dangerous.

Slowly, slowly, he bridges the distance, and with the tips of his claws, he touches Sir Damien's bare shoulder.

The knight shifts, his heart steady, still asleep, but Arum whips his hand back regardless. Damien exhales, a hiss that is not quite a word, and then he- shifts. He does not pull himself from Rilla's arms entirely, but he shifts in the other direction, mumbling his face against the pillow.

Closer to Arum.

He stares at the human, the softened lines of his face, the curve of his cheeks and the curled mess of his hair.

Arum lifts his hand again, even more slowly, and drifts his claws so, so slowly over Damien's shoulder, feeling his fingertips buzz with his mammal heat.

Damien murmurs again, more breath than noise, and then he rolls-

Arum freezes, because he may either do that or roll as well- roll himself entirely off of the bed, in fact, and he has no desire whatsoever to endure the scrutiny of these creatures further tonight if he wakes them when his body tumbles to the floor. Damien's body presses against his side, his arm flopping across Arum's chest and his body trapping one of Arum's own arms between them. Damien exhales deeply, contentedly against Arum's shoulder, perfectly framed between the doctor and himself.

Arum does not move, does not breathe, stiff and terrified for a long, long moment until he is properly convinced that the knight is still asleep, his heartbeat unhurried and steady. Arum still does not move, then, for obvious reasons, but he allows himself to breathe, at least, as he glances warily down at the human draped along his side.

So trusting. So impossibly warm. Arum does not understand. What creature would feel the touch of his claws in his sleep and move towards it?

He-

Arum lifts his hand, one more time, and then he thinks better of it. He studies Damien's sleeping face instead, studies Rilla- Amaryllis behind him, turning his confusion over in his own mind, trying to polish it to something he can understand.

So warm. Warm enough that Arum begins to feel warm in turn. It's no wonder, truly, that Damien's heat alone had woken him, this morning. Arum stares at their faces in the dark, trying to understand, trying to puzzle out the mystery of their presence in his life.

Trying, helplessly, hopelessly, to remember.

He does not know how he could have possibly been made to forget.

Scales beneath his cheek, beneath his palm, the familiar weight of Rilla pressed against his back, and Damien exhales contentment. He presses his hand against Arum's chest, stretching his toes, stretching his body against Arum's, and he smiles with his eyes still closed when he hears Arum breathe a hiss into the dark between them.

He stretches an arm out, grips Arum's side, squeezes lightly as he presses his cheek against Arum's collarbone in a soft, lazy hug, and when the monster makes another noise at that he cannot help but press his lips to the scales at the hollow of Arum's throat, and then he lifts his face to press another kiss to his neck, to his jaw, and then he lifts himself further to chase another kiss-

But he stops himself, because even in the dimness of the room he can see the vividness of Arum's eyes, the brightness of his desire, and guilt, and fear.

And Damien remembers yesterday, and there is a certain irony in that that the poet despises.

"O-oh," he manages, whispered and wavering, and the guilt in Arum's expression wins out over its cohorts.

"I-" the monster flicks his tongue, a familiar, anxious gesture, and Damien can't stand his uncertainty, not while his own guilt builds within him. "I'm- Damien-"

Damien wants to pull away, but with Rilla so close behind him he can't, not without waking her. He- he drops his gaze instead, doing his best to avoid those eyes without pressing his face against Arum's chest again. "I- forgive me, Lord Arum," he whispers, his throat tight and horrible. "I must have- in my sleep I must have- I am- not quite awake, I'm afraid, please forg-"

"Don't," Arum hisses, low and sharp. "Please. Don't ask- you've done nothing to- nothing but-" he pauses, growls through grit teeth. "You've done nothing to be forgiven for, Damien."

A relief, that Arum is not angry with him, certainly, but- he sounds so distant and stilted and uncertain, and Damien cannot help the way it hurts, the grief that has begun to burrow within him with the worry that this is not something they can fix, and it may be some shallow comfort for Arum to speak softly to him in this troubled darkness, but Damien is filled with such deep, deep sorrow to be a stranger in Arum's arms, and his heart cannot help but ache-

His heart aches, for a hiss of honeysuckle.

Damien blinks hard, but he still feels the path the tears take down his cheeks, towards the pillow, and the noise that Arum makes must mean that he can either scent the salt on the air or simply that he can see Damien's sorrow even in this dimness, and Damien ducks his head further, and then-

Arum's hand, gentle and uncertain on his arm. Not an embrace, but- a touch, a caress, a comfort and a pain in and of itself, and Damien's breath hitches helplessly.

"I'm sorry," Arum whispers, and Damien's heart pulses, because he knows Arum well enough to understand how difficult it is for the monster to apologize so directly, so honestly. "I- I'm sorry that I'm not- sorry that I don't-"

"Don't," Damien says, halfway to a gasp. "You've- you have had something horrible done to you, my lily, and-" he inhales, shakes his head as he feels Arum's muscles twitch at the affectionate name. "This has been done to you, Arum," he tries again, "it is- you should not apologize for being wronged yourself."

"But-" Arum cuts off, exhaling through his teeth. "Fine. No guilt, then. Only..." he sighs, then continues in a resigned sort of whisper, "I suppose it is only further proof, of the unfairness of the Universe. You said that the... trust between us was hard-won. It is not fair, then, for it to be taken from you."

"From us," Damien amends, gently, and Arum hums, something like an agreement. He seems to realize that his palm is still pressed to Damien's bicep, then, and he awkwardly pulls it away, curling his claws against his own chest instead.

"He must have..." the monster trails off. "I must have," he corrects, sounding dubious, "must have worked rather diligently as well, must have proven myself to you, to earn that... trust. That loyalty. I am sor- I... regret that I... I am no longer the same monster, the one who deserves..."

Damien lifts his eyes, incandescent in the space of a breath with the force of his conviction, and Arum looks nearly frightened when he meets Damien's gaze.

"Even if you never remember," he says, "even if you cannot love us again as once you did," another tear rolls unbidden down his face, but Damien ignores it. "I will still love you. I will love you. Each day, each of us wake into a new version of ourselves, each day we rise and change and with each new day I have loved you more, loved you again and again and again, and I will not stop simply because some creature decided to take our time together away from you. You deserved to be loved before we ever met, my lily. You are clever and strong and meticulous and charming, beautiful and caring and brilliant and stubborn, wry and regal and magnificent, and you were always that monster. You were always worthy of love."

Arum looks away from Damien, towards the wall, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched tight, and Damien forces himself to stop talking, his aching heart be damned. It won't do Arum any good, for Damien to terrify him with the depth of his feeling.

Arum's eyes flick, nearly looking towards him again, but then he turns his face even further, his frill raising at his neck.

"Even-" the monster whispers, and then he swallows. "Even if I cannot understand... why either of you would- would care for me?"

"Love you," Damien amends, his voice wavering as Arum closes his eyes. "Yes. Even then." Damien smiles weakly. "It took... more prompting, the first time, for you to admit, but you- you struggled to understand our affection for you when we were first coming together, as well. It did not make me love you any less then, and it will not change my feelings now. I admit- I admit that I felt similarly, if I am to speak with honesty."

Arum frowns, and then his eyes flick towards Damien, finally, the fear in his expression still present, but smaller now. "What do you mean?"

"It was difficult, for me, to understand why you would care for me in turn. Why you would forgive me my misplaced fury towards you, my aggression. How you could- could care for a knight."

Arum flicks his tongue, his expression suspiciously blank, and then he looks away again.

"What did I say, then?"

"Hm?" Damien blinks.

"How did I respond to you? When you told me of your... difficulties."

"Ah." Damien bites his lip, forcing himself not to allow the tears to rally against him again. "I... I never did. I never- I was afraid, you see. I was afraid that if I- if I pointed out all the reasons you had, not to... not to care for- not to love me- an irrational fear, I know. In my heart, I know it was irrational, to think your care for me such a fragile, fickle thing, but- but my fears are not always so easily swayed by reason. So I never... I never told you... I never told you that my fears mirrored your own."

Arum's eyes fix on him, vivid through the dark, wary and uncertain. "Well... I suppose you've told me now."

Damien presses his lips together, presses his eyes tightly closed, and drops his head back to the pillow, his heart a heavy, heavy weight within his chest.

"Yes. I suppose... I suppose I have."

[->]

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #lord arum #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #going through changes ripping out pages

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heesulovebot · 4 years ago

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wowow than-q dawy bb @itoldsunset for the tag! i love doing these 🥺🥺🥺(also ur right rina did deserve a grammy nom but they h8 woc wbk😤)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? black.

2. Name a food you never eat. i mean i pretty much eat all kinds of food but there’s a lot of things i don’t eat often. if i’m being really picky i’d say i never eat soups but i literally love pho and seaweed soup so idk 🤷‍♀️ 3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too coooold 🥶 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? crying @ work. 5. What’s your favorite candy bar? kit-kat and aero bars were my shit as a kid but i also love any chocolate bar with hazelnuts.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? uhhhh does figure skating count? 7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i yelled to myself in my room because i work remotely & work was being a lil bitch today.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? mint choco chip or the chocolate covered almond vanilla häagen-dazs 👌🏼 9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water. 10. Do you like your wallet? actually no!!! my fave wallet broke years ago but i was still using it even though it didn’t zip up and i was always dropping coins. and then my brother got me an expensive wallet when i moved back to van but it’s literally so ugly and i only use it because i h8 being wasteful 😤😩 11. What is the last thing you ate? cereal for lunch. i was lazy :((( 12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no. i haven’t really left my house at all much the last few months, only for grocery shopping. 13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? again, figure skating? 14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? i always ask for the cheddar or salt and vinegar seasoning. 15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? the gc on kakao.

16. Ever been camping? like a handful of times in my life. as expected, i do not do well in the outdoors lol. 17. Do you take vitamins? i mean i should probably be taking them :((( she deficient lmao. 18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope. 19. Do you have a tan? she pale af rn because of quarantine 😔 20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? omg....... this is....... the hardest thing i’ve ever had to answer dkjfnkdjnfdk 21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? only if i’m given one. 22. What color socks do you usually wear? black. 23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? when i do drive, yeah. i’m scared of going too fast 😩 24. What terrifies you? this is too deep, fam. 25. Look to your left, what do you see? my empty cereal bowl from lunch lol.

26. What chore do you hate most? floors!!! i’m weird i hate the simple tasks like i LOVE bleaching shit i will bleach my life away. 27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? not as triggering as the british accent lmaooo australians r turnt. 28. What’s your favorite soda? i’m gonna sound so bougie but those italian san pellegrino sodas the aranciata (orange) is a classic but the aranciata rossa (blood orange) is soooooo goOd. 29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? if i’m in a car i like to avoid ppl lol. 30. What’s your favorite number? i don’t have one. 31. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate when i came out of my room for lunch.

32. Favorite meat? like i love beef but go absolutely fERAL for a good pork belly (@dawy a woman of taste) 33. Last song you listened to? my wife’s new song (meg thee stallion - body)

34. Last book you read? i’m bi i don’t read 💩 35. Favorite day of the week? at the moment? none lmao. 36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? no. 37. How do you like your coffee? i don’t 😌 38. Favorite pair of shoes? i have these like white/green reebok aztreks and they’re srsly so comfy i wear them with everything. 39. Time you normally get up? i wake up at 8 for work. on the other two days i’m at school, i try to wake up early but that never happens and i always miss my first lecture and wake up at 1 lmao 😗✌🏼 40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets because i can’t wake up early but also i prefer night time to morning. 41. How many blankets on your bed? gotta have my sheet, my comforter, and since it’s winter i pulled out the ethnic blanket for extra toasty~ 42. Describe your kitchen plates. random. they’re my roommate’s. 43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. there is absolutely NO counter space but also that’s probably because we have 2 rice cookers & i wouldn’t change it for anything RICE IS LYFE✌🏼

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i’m basic so my go-to is gin and tonic. with lemon AND lime 😩👌🏼 45. Do you play cards? not like poker or anything but i play a mean speed and go fish lmao. 46. What color is your car? lol 47. Can you change a tire? wtf lol no don’t @ me i don’t have my full license yet u don’t need to drive in the city when the train is so much faster!!! 48. Your favorite state or province? west coast best coast 🤪 49. Favorite job you’ve had? tawan’s trophy wife. kidding. that’s not a job i do it for free ayeee 😌💅 uhhhhhh i literally h8 capitalism so UHM my inner socialist is telling me none but i miss my comrades co-workers at my old starbs job 😔✊🏼

tagging!🌈💕✨: jay @metawin, ayesha @gremlinmetawin, cass @wavelovespang, doreen @gunsatthaphan, rae @zaintseeme, dez @thehuns-bubble-tea, emily @seekingstarlightinthecity, cata @gigiesarocha, sam @khaotungthanawat, orthy @teepakornaekaranwong & anyone else who wants to can tag me!! (im starting to forget everyone’s @s because y’all change too damn much— nvm that i literally just changed mine lmao)

#tag game #ty dawy this was nice ;u;

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wheezingghoulbois · 4 years ago

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rules: answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

tagged by: @allhailthesanders thanks gabby!!!!!!💖💕✨

name/nickname: marylan- ive been given many nicknames lmao I don’t think I even know them all alskfjalksfjalfk

gender: female, (pronouns-she/her)

star sign: virgo

height: 5’4”

birthday: September 8th

time: 11:23 pm

favorite bands: uhhhhhhhhhhh idk I don’t listen to like, many Bands tbh. Instead, I’ll say I listen to a lot of musicals I guess alsfkjalksfjalksf

favorite solo artist: is this even a question asflafjlakfs Ms Taylor Swift owns my soul

song currently stuck in my head: currently the ooooooooo-OOH! Part in dorthea by ms swift

last movie: uhhhhhh might’ve been the lego star wars holiday special alsfkjalksfjaf

last show: star wars the clone wars. Im on season 7 alksfjalksjflaksf

when did i create this blog: this Particular blog was created a couple years ago as a youtuber sideblog, but I rarely used it, and then during quarantine got back into bfu and turned it into a bfu/watcher blog in like??? may maybe???

what do i post: watcher and bfu and mothman and cute cats and taylor swift once in awhile alsfkjalksfjlaksfas

last thing i googled: “what to print matte sticker paper setting” for….. pretty self explanatory reasons alsfkjalksjflaksf

other blogs: uh my main is @captainstrangequill which is marvel based, ive got a star wars sideblog ( @padmeshandmaiden ), a taylor swift sideblog @architectdrawingtheplans, and a couple others but I rarely use them so I don’t feel like theyre worth mentioning lmaoooo

why i chose my url: I like the ghoul bois. I like (wheeze). I like when the ghoul bois wheeze, therefore. wheezingghoulbois alfsjalskfjalksf

following: like 400 something idk

followers: uhhh too many idk I try not to look alskfjalskfa

average hours of sleep: uhhhhhh this week like 4-5 hours. Normally? 5-7 lmao

lucky number: 13 babeyyyyy

instruments: piano, guitar, ukulele, flute

what am i wearing: Winnie the pooh PJ pants and a paddington shirt. Stuffed bear representation aslfjalskfjalksf

dream job: unrealistically? I want to become a cat and knock shit off tables and be feed and not have to do anything for it LAKJSLKASF. Uhhh id like to do something in neurology, as that’s what im kinda trained for, or some form of artist would be rad too. Idk.

dream trip: rn id give anything for it to be safe to go to Disneyland. Homegirl has now obtained mickey ice cream bars, churros thatre the exact churro brand that Disney uses, and the exact dole whip powder the park uses. I am COPING but not well I miss Disneyland I cry if I hear any ride music tbh alsfKJASFLKJSAFKL

favorite food: rn???? Would kill for a good pizza from BJ’s tbh or…. Clam chowder Bread bowl at Disneyland while im waiting for a parade 😞😞😞

ethnicity: mixed race- Chinese and white

favorite song: clean by taylor swift

last book read: The Secret History by Donna Tart

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: star wars, star trek, percy jackson

tagging: @not-falling-but-flying @mousemadej @cassieseraphim and uhhh whoever else wants to do it!!!!!! (obviously dont feel obligated to do it alksjflajsflaf 💖💖)

#tag game #thank u again gabby this was fun #my rambles #also my following count is so high bc a good amount is old marvel mutuals who dont post anymore lkajslfkjalksfjafs

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neenieweenie · 4 years ago

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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

tagged by @ilguna ty bby

name: nina

gender: female

star sign: leo

height: 5’3 3/4”

time: 6:29

birthday: august 18

favorite bands: queen, they might be giants, abba

favorite solo artists: no one in particular, really. at most a playlist will have maybe 3 songs from a particular person but that all depends on the vibe of the playlist and has nothing to do with the artist

last movie: prisoner of azkaban

last show: psych

when did i create this blog?: 2016 i think

what i post: it’s shitposts mostly

last thing i googled: vegan boxed cake recipe (i’m not vegan)

other blogs: don’t have any

do i get asks?: sometimes

why i chose my url: my favorite teacher called me “neenie weenie” once as a joke and i miss him a lot so now it’s my url (plus apparently “cosmichellfire” isn’t very readable)

following: 120

followers: 71

average hours of sleep: 7-8 maybe? idk i don’t track it

instruments: trombone but i’m also in choir

what am i wearing: pjs

dream job(s): comfortably unemployed

dream trip: italy (or acid, depending on my mood)

favorite food: i don’t really have a favorite but i like mac and cheese

nationality: american

favorite song: “footloose” from the movie “footloose”

last book i read: good omens: the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter, witch

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: uhhhhhh i guess harry potter, star wars (original trilogy era), and avatar: the last airbender because i think it would be really cool

tagging: @amixedwitch

#mutuals #ilguna #tag game #about me

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ferricadooza · 4 years ago

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dig deeper tag game

i was tagged by the lovely @tempolarriefix, thank you serena!!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? either or! the only stipulation is it has to be a uni-ball signo. best damn glide i’ve ever experienced.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? if i could live with all of my friends on a huge farm out in the country, i 100% would. otherwise, probably the city. small towns are not my thing.

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? cooking! i’m a terrible cook and i don’t much like it either, which makes it difficult to want to learn haha

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea, yes, but i usually drink my coffee black unless it’s really, really bad.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? nancy drew babey 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? definitely showers!

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a griffin

8. Paper or electronic books? if it’s a book, paper, but i’m not gonna print out all 500 pages of a fic to read, so those are electronic

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my louis sweats

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it? i used to haaaaaate my full name because no one could pronounce it correctly, but it’s growing on me :)

11. Who is a mentor to you? probably my future therapist

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for? i want to be infamous. i want to be one of the most hated people in certain circles. probably for defending rpf lmao.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? not lately

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? mmmmmm no, not really. i think like most people i have my moments, but i think when it comes to relationships, i’d rather just like. have fun with someone.

15. Which element best represents you? fire, although scorpios are supposedly water signs haha

16. Who do you want to be closer to? my friends! most people will tell you i’m emotionally unavailable (which is true) but i’m working on it :) 17. Do you miss someone at the moment? @ltwalls2020 :(

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. i went to visit my grandparents when i was like? 7 or 8? anyway, they live in texas, and i very vividly remember being on a tarantula farm and one of these massive,1ft diameter spiders escaping from its crate and there being mass panic all around me because it was venomous. when i brought this memory up to my mom when i was about twelve, however, she told me that it had never happened, so uhhhhhh guess i had a very realistic dream that i believed actually happened for 4-5 years.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i had a coworker give me some dill flavored peanuts or something similar once and those were an experience, but i haven’t really eaten too many out-of-the-ordinary foods

20. What are you most thankful for? louis tomlinson

21. Do you like spicy food? yes! but i do have my limits haha

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i “met” dan and phil during their second tour if you consider completely freezing and not being able to get a single word out meeting someone

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? no, but i kept a pretty pretentious one (as you do) when i was around 16

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen always, unless i’m drawing in which case i prefer charcoal

25. What is your star sign? scorpio

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? an instigator, but a loving instigator 28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? iiiiiiii mostly read fics these days haha. last fic i read was if i had no love left to give by @kingsofeverything

29. How do you show someone you love them? spending time with them and listening

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? sometimes, but not always!

31. What are you afraid of? rejection, loneliness

32. What is your favourite scent? bakeries

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i don’t

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would travel and write and visit all of my friends to my heart’s content

.35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools...i’m afraid of the ocean

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? it would depend on where i was. if i was in a store, i’d take it to their claims dept and leave it in case someone realized and came back for it. if i found it on the sidewalk, i’d pick it up and keep it

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? yes and no

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children? mmmmmm i can’t even imagine ever having children at this point in my life so i feel like i should pass on this one.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want ‘day by day’ in louis’ handwriting over the inside of my elbow

40. What can you hear right now? you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers and the diluted sounds of my mom on a conference call

41. Where do you feel the safest? in bed

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my crippling self esteem issues 43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? ancient greece 44. What is your most used emoji? side eyes haha

45. Describe yourself using one word. idiot <3

46. What do you regret the most? ever believing i was straight

47. Last movie you saw? the fear of 13 maybe? great documentary!

48. Last tv show you watched? i’m currently rewatching the vampire diaries hehe 49. Invent a word and its meaning plumify - to humble brag

i’m tagging: @larryscurves, @ltwalls2020, @lightwoodsmagic, @gulsuyu, @chaoticlarents, and @liamslarents

#if you want to!#okay now that i've wasted uhhhhhh half an hour of the time i've been supposed to be writing #back to work #tagged /#long post

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lannisterdaddyissues · 4 years ago

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the boys and kimiko

have i told you how much i love you today @deckvrstar you MIRACLE of a human being????

001 | THE BOYS

favorite character: Frenchie!!!!!! he is the purest!!! I also love homelander ironically. Antony does a fantastic job portraying him and I just love those screwed-up twisted characters that really make you go, “oh.”

least favorite character: ugh. Stormfront for sure. I also am not much of a Black Noir fan?? I know we know next to nothing about him but there are so many thirst stans for him on here and I will never understand that especially considering what I’ve heard about him in the comics.

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): if I’m not allowed to put Frenchie/Kimiko here five times then what is life even? I also love Annie/Hughie and while I don’t ship it, I do think Butcher/Hughie could be cute. I like Maeve/Elena and honestly someone on here said Frenchie/Lamplighter once and I could see it.

character I find most attractive: Honestly? Queen Maeve. I love Frenchie but Queen Maeve has an aura that exudes confidence. It really draws the attention of the whole room.

character I would marry: Frenchie forever.

character I would be best friends with: I feel like I would get along best with Hughie and M.M. <3

a random thought: I hope to see more of Ashley next season! I really love it when this show drags corporate ass around like it’s featherweight lmao.

an unpopular opinion: I wish they hadn’t picked Jensen to play Soldier Boy in season 3. He’s one of those actors who plays a character in a longstanding TV show and you never forget his face. The show did a good job of picking relatively underrated actors to star (Simon Pegg who showed up in all of like 2? scenes was the only real big-name actor save Karl Urban) but Jensen?? Why?? Also the Ackles stans in the fandom tag are really pissing me off. The only reason they’re watching this show is so they can fetishize r*pe if Herogasm gets adapted, which it won’t. And I hope they read this and get triggered.

my canon otp: Frenchie x Kimiko always!! Is there even a contest?!

my non-canon otp: I suppose... M.M. x Frenchie? I don’t know lmao. The found family dynamic is pretty strong.

most badass character: Gotta say Queen Maeve again. I love Butcher but there’s more than one way to be a badass. Love the LGBT rep too. They knocked it out of the park with that one.

most epic villain: Homelander forever. Stormfront doesn’t deserve the title of epic LOL

pairing I am not a fan of: Stormfront x Homelander will never be less than the worst possible relationship between two beings ever.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I do miss Lamplighter. And I kind of wish Becca had lived through season 2.

favourite friendship: M.M and Frenchie again!!

character I most identify with: I feel like Starlight and I are very similar overall.

character I wish I could be: I’d love to be in Hughie’s or Butcher’s shoes. Never a dull moment in their lives!

003 | KIMIKO MIYASHIRO/THE FEMALE

how I feel about this character: I feel everything for her. I would give everything to be her gf I love her. The perfect character doesn’t exi-

any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: It’s impossible not to ship her with Frenchie.

my favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I mean...she doesn’t really interact with anyone except Frenchie. But I guess her brother Kenji. They had a really wholesome bro/sis dynamic. I have three siblings so it gave me warm fuzzies seeing how much they cared about each other. I would definitely do anything to keep my siblings safe too.

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish we’d gotten to hear her speak at least once (ngl I was expecting her to when Stormfront killed Kenji) but hearing her laugh was music to my ears.

favorite friendship for this character: Kimiko and Starlight!! They’re adorable. I loved seeing them hug. I hope we get to see more of that friendship. They both need a gal pal.

my crossover ship: Uhhhhhh? I can’t really think of any. This show is pretty wild. I’ve never been a crossover shipper anyway.

here’s the link to the ask meme!

#the boys #ask meme #ask #reply #deckvrstar #mutual #kimiko miyashiro

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