#uhhhhh I'm not as pleased with this as the first one but I think it turned out all right

[fangirl-dot-com]

Grill the Grid

Guys, I'm sorry this is so short. I've had a bout of writers block but still wanted to get another chapter out. I will be going back to working on the regular chapters soon! But enjoy this take on Grill the Grid!

Like always - comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated! Much love :D

Key for this chapter: regular text - just normal speaking bold - words on the flip boards italics - scene change bold italics - the narrator lady

Episode One: Radio Show 

A quick snapshot of each driver shows up before the opening title of “Grill the Grid” crosses the screen. 

You quickly showed up and clapped your hands. 

“Welcome ladies and gents to another season of Grill the Grid.” You showed a cheeky smile as you winked to the camera. 

“Can you please state your name and what team you drive for?” 

You sighed as you thought. “Christian is going to kill me if I can't remember all of it.” You looked back at the camera. “My name is Y/n L/n and I drive for the Honda RBPT Oracle Red Bull Racing Formula One Team.” 

“That is correct.” 

Your eyes widened as you started to laugh. “I didn’t think I’d get that.” 

The lady behind the camera smiled. “Max didn’t get the entire thing.” 

You stared at the camera like you were on the office before turning to someone off camera to the side. “Do I get a point for that?” 

The video now cut to Max. 

Max had his hands on his side, head down before he looked back up. 

He had a nervous smile as he tried to think. “Yeah, I don’t know. Red Bull Racing?” He shrugged as multiple people around him laughed. 

“It’s actual Honda RBPT Oracle Red Bull Racing.” 

Max rolled his eyes. “How is anyone supposed to remember that?” 

“Y/n did.” 

“Of course.” 

Words flashed on the screen signaling to viewers the actual start of the episode. Multiple familiar faces showed as they all stood next to a board with multiple flaps of paper. 

Lando smugly looked at the title and then to the camera. “I got this in the bag.” 

“How do you think you’ll do?” 

Oscar was now on screen. “Uhhhhh.” He didn’t have time to answer.

“I think I’ll do ok. I’m not too familiar with other team’s radios, but I can try?” A red-clad Monegasque questioned himself. 

The drivers all flipped the first page.

--He better get me more stroopwaffles after that. Asshole--  

You flipped the first page and barely glanced at it before answering. “Lando.” 

“Lando.” Max also flipped.

Oscar, Daniel, Charles, and Carlos at once, “Lando.” 

Lando just stared into the camera. “Me?” 

You smiled back at the camera. “This was at Zandvoort right? After Max kinda bumped him.” 

“He pushed me off the track! Bumped is an understatement.” Lando now flipped the next page and leaned back to laugh. “Y/n.” 

--Speed. I am Speed. One winner, 19 losers. I eat losers for breakfast--

Max, once again, barely glanced before answering, “Y/n.” 

Lance looked around trying to get a hint. He couldn’t find one. “Logan? I know he’s watched the Cars movies.” 

Logan laughed as well before shaking his head. “Y/n.” 

“Me.” Your face flushed red. “Truthfully, I didn’t know the radio was on.” 

Oscar made a noise as he thought. “I want to say Logan because he recently watched that. But my heart wants to say Y/n.” 

“Is that your final answer.” 

“Yes.” 

“That’s correct.” 

Fernando, Carlos, Daniel, and Alex flipped the page. “Y/n.” 

--This is what she gets for telling me to use my mirrors. AHA! Does she even have her driver’s license?-- 

“Aha! This is Daniel.” You stood looking at the next page. “So in quali, he almost hit me in turn four during my flying lap and I told him to use his mirrors in the race. Well, he overtook me in the first lap and I fell behind.” Your smile disappeared as you looked right into the camera. “And yes, I have my driver’s license.” 

Daniel almost fell to his knees as he read the next one. His gummy smile almost took over his face. “This is me to Y/n.” 

Max just looked lost. “Who said this?” 

“Daniel.”

“Oh.”  

 

Episode Two: Champions Part 2

“So do you know what’s next?” 

You looked confused as you looked around the empty space. “Well there’s no board here?” 

Charles shrugged. “It could be anything. I certainly hope that this season we won’t have to list the champions in some order again.” 

Max looked around with a confused look. “Again?” 

Lewis rolled his eyes. “Man I knew I should have gone back and actually memorized them.” 

“There’s no way someone is getting all of them. Sebastian is gone.” Lando shrugged. 

It was now back to Charles who looked a bit more pale. A loud beep sounded on a views screen as he looked down. 

You once again clapped. “I knew all those Wikipedia pages would come in handy. Are we starting from newest to oldest or oldest to newest.” 

“Any way you want.” 

You looked up in thought as you started to list. “Ok. Max was in 2023, 2022, 2021. Then Lewis in 2020, 2019, 1028, 2017. Nico won in 2016 then it was back to Lewis in ’15 and ’14. Seb won from 2013 to 2010…” 

Max sighed before he started. “Uh, me in 2023 to 2021. Then Lewis until 2014.” 

“Incorrect. Nico won in 2016.” 

Max hummed. “Uh, Nico in ’16. Then Lewis to ’14. I know Seb won in 2013.” 

It was back to you. “And then Michael Schumacher again in 2010, which was his first with Ferrari. Then it was Hakkinen in ’99 and ’98. Uh, Villeneuve in 1997 who was preceded by Hill in 1996. Then it was back to Schumi in ’95 and ’94.”

Lando looked lost. 

Charles was still pale but he tried. “It was Max, Lewis, Nico, Lewis again. Then Seb then Lewis again?” 

“You’re forgetting another Mercedes Driver.” 

Charles looked even more confused. “Uh.” 

“Jensen Button in 2009.” 

“He was in Mercedes?” Charles just ended up walking off. 

Back to you. “Mario Andretti was the last American in 1978. Niki and Hunt danced around from 1977 to 1976. Then it was Fittipaldi, Stewart, Fittpaldi, Stewart, Rindt, Stewart respectfully in 1975, 1974, 1973, 1972, 1971, and 1970.” 

Oscar looked as if he was having a stroke. 

Logan ran a hand down his face. “I only know Andretti in 1978 and then Phil Hill in 1961. You know. Go America!” 

Fernando tried but couldn’t get past the nineties. Yet he had a smile on his face. “Y/n got all of these right, correct?” 

“She was the only one.”  

“Shut up, no she wasn’t.” Lando didn’t believe it. 

“Of course she did.” Max could only chuckle. “She would brag and brag about this in the plane.” 

“And then Ascari in 1952, then Fangio in 1951, and finally Farina in 1950!” You had a proud look on your face. “I knew I could do it. Did I miss any?” 

“Nope.”  

Episode Three: Guess These Headlights 

Charles, who had now recovered from his bout of PTSD, suddenly looked excited. “Now here is something I can do.” 

“Are you a car guy?” 

“Definitely.” Carlos responded with a smug look. “I grew up around cars.” 

“I mean. I know my McLarens?” Oscar questioned. “This is going to be hard.” 

Lando looked ready. “Let’s get this going.” 

You looked determined. “Bring it on.” You flipped the first page. “Ah. That’s a classic. A Ferrari F40.” You turned back to the camera. “If I didn’t have my Porsches, I would have bought an F40.” A far away thoughtful look crossed your face. “Maybe I’ll still get one. I’ll ask Charles. He can get me one.”  

Charles quickly answered “F40” and then flipped. “Ah. This is McLaren P1.” 

“McLaren P1,” Oscar answered. “The logo is in the headlights. Pretty helpful.” 

Daniel flipped the next one and stood back, hands on his hips. “I know Max has this car. But I can’t remember the name.” 

Lance finally looked as though he knew what it was. “This is the Aston Valkyrie.” 

Fernando also guessed it correctly. “Aston Valkyrie.” 

Next, Carlos easily got the next one. “La Ferrari. I wanted one.” 

“Did you get one.” 

Carlos nodded his head before answering. “No.” 

Max flipped through the pages very quickly. “Ah! I know this one. Y/n has two of these. It’s the Porsche 9-11’s.” 

“Y/n’s Porsche. The 9-11 model,” Alex responded. 

“I see these in my garage since Y/n’s apartment didn’t come with one, so she puts her’s in mine. It’s the Porsche 9-11,” Logan had a happy smile as he knew one. The next one, he didn’t know. 

“Not a clue.” Charles, Oscar, and Daniel all said as they flipped. 

Max took a minute to look at the X looking headlights. He hummed. “Y/n was just showing me a TikTok with this car. Says she wants one someday.” 

You had a giant grin on your face as you looked at the headlights. 

“Do you know what this car is?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Of course I know. It’s the 3 million dollar Ferrari V12 Engine Apollo Project Evo. There are currently 10 of them only in the world, and they are all owned.” 

“Do you have one of them?” 

You only smirked as you looked into the camera.

Max still stood next to his board, eyes to the sky as he really thought. His eyebrows raised as he remembered the answer. “This is like...the Apollo E car?” 

“That is correct. Now, does Y/n own one of these? She didn’t give us an answer.” 

Max looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh. No comment?”   

  

Episode Four: Random Skills

“Ok. For this challenge you have to guess what driver has this skill.” 

“Easy.” Came from Lando. 

You looked around confused. “I don’t think I have any skills.” 

“Do I even have a skill for them to use?” Lewis questioned himself. 

“First skill. Which driver is known for playing the piano.” 

“Sharl,” you smirked. “Easy.” 

“Charles.” Lance, Fernando, and Daniel all answered. 

“Me.” The Monegasque had a smile on his face. 

Oscar looked up. “Is it Y/n? She looks like she can play the piano.” 

“He said that? I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.” You shrugged. 

“Which drivers claims to be able to hit a hole in one at the Monte Carlo Golf Course.” 

Max rolled his eyes. “I know Lando has claimed, but I’m going to say Carlos.” 

Carlos looked lost. “Me? I don’t know if I’ve said that though. Maybe Lando?” 

Logan answered, “Lando?” 

Lando also looked lost. “Me?” 

“No.” 

“Who is it then?” You questioned. Lando and Carlos had been your guess. 

“It is Pierre Gasly.” 

Lando huffed. “Get out of here.” 

The man in question had a guilty smile. “I forgot I said that. Let’s say it’s still true.”

You looked eager to get on with the game. You wanted to win that trophy. 

“Which driver has set a drive time around the Daytona International Speedway at 1 minute and 40 seconds. Which is only 8 seconds slower than the lap record.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know I would get on here for this category. It’s me right?” 

“Correct, Logan.”  

You took a little while to guess. “I’m gonna say Logan. Sounds like a very American thing to do at Daytona. And his brother drove for NASCAR right?” 

“Correct.”

Your fist pumped the air. 

Oscar looked elated at this question. “It’s Logan. I was there when he did it.” A big smile crossed his face. 

Lance looked around in thought. “Uhhhhh. Lando? I don’t know.” 

Lando also looked happy, as he seemed to know the answer. “It’s Logan right? Yeah, Logan. Final answer.” 

“Are there any geography questions this season, or…” Max drew out the last syllable as he laughed with the others. He suddenly went cold stare. “I’m being serious.” 

“Which driver knows how to moon walk?” 

Fernando squinted his eyes as he thought before shrugging his shoulders. “It’s one of the young ones right? Yuki?” 

Yuki was also as lost as Fernando. “I wish it was me. Maybe Lando? He DJ’s right?” 

“It’s not Lando. But it is a younger driver.” 

“I should know this after she made me play Just Dance for three hours one time. It’s Y/n.” Logan looked put off at his mention of the dance off. 

Oscar also looked bored as he also brought it up. “Yeah, it’s Y/n. I threw Just Dance out after she left. No more.” 

Max rubbed his face. “She plays it with P whenever she comes over. They play the same one over and over again. Y/n.” 

Charles had a far off look, like one of an older man who suddenly was hit with PTSD from war. He whispered, “We don’t mention moonwalk. Not after her and Arthur…” He never finished as he walked off again. 

You had a shit-eating grin on your face. “Me! And I tried to teach it to Oscar, Lando, Logan, Max, Charles, Arthur…” You just seemed to keep going and going. They finally had to stop you before you kept going on about the Just Dance discography. 

Bloopers

You stood in front of the camera with one of the que things that snap. “And action! Do you even say that anymore? And I thought this was an actual set. I might have cried when I saw the green screen.” 

Beep 

The camera showed Max creeping in as you continued listing all of the champions in order. He looked over at the camera like was on the office. “Is she still going?” 

Beep

Logan kept touching his hair and the makeup lady would slap his hands away to fix it. “NASCAR drivers don’t have to go through this. I bet they don’t have to list all the freaking Formula 1 champions in order.” He leaned in and made a gesture. “See. All they have to do is kiss a brick and they get one when they win.” 

Beep 

Oscar smiled as he looked around, honestly excited to get this over with. “I think I’m finally ready for redemption. This should be easy.” 

The camera cut to him after ever he finished filming. “I take it back. That was not easy. You guys really need to find better questions.” 

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[luvfy0dor]

“His Hands are in my Hair, His Clothes are in my Room ♡⁠˖” BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

Warnings; Nikolais and Chuuyas are hardly proofread, Nikolais was rushed, Nikolais nearly got scrapped, I don't like Nikolais, maybe a little ooc

Description; sharing clothing w the BSD boys

A/n; GUYS OH MY GOD I GOT A 5 ON MY FIRST AP EXAM IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF AHHHHHH IM GONNA CRY also I'm sorry posts are so few and far between. It's so hot and hard to function. I know I said the exact same thing to excuse minimal posts in winter but like. its literally hot as balls and all I got is a puny ass 8yro fan and the occasional sip of iced water.

Osamu Dazai ★

• Dazai likes to take your old T-shirts to sleep in when you lend them to him for the night. After a few nights of having Dazai at your house, you wonder why your sleep-shirt collection has nearly cut in half.

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You unlocked the door of your apartment and pushed it open with your unoccupied hand. The other arm held a large brown paper bag filled with gas station food and snacks for you and your boyfriend, who followed you inside. Once you set the bag down on the coffee table, you retrieved your keys from the door and closed it. When you came back to the kitchen, Dazai had already dumped everything out and was sifting through all the options. "The walk back from the gas station was hardly five minutes and I've already forgotten everything we got." He says with a grin, opening a bag of chips and eating a couple. He offered you some, holding the bag out to you. "Want some?' He mumbled.

"Yeah, let me just change into pajamas first, I don't wanna do anything until I'm comfortable." You said, shrugging off your jacket and starting to undo your belt before you even make it back to your room. Dazai followed suit, bag of chips still in hand. "Can I borrow some?" You nodded before taking off your shirt and tossing it in the laundry hamper, going through your closet to find a shirt for your boyfriend and yourself. "Thank youuu~" He plops down onto your bed, keeping the chip bag upwards so he doesn't get any crumbs or dust on your nice blankets. He watches you pull one of your band shirts over your head, admiring your body from his position on your mattress. He's snapped out of his daze when black fabric comes flying at him, but he catches it before it can smack him in the face. "Thanks, babe, you're so kind."

He switches his work clothes for your old ones, the big shirt nearly swallowing his scrawny torso comfortably. "Alright, I want snacks, come on." You gesture for him to follow you back out to the kitchen where the array of snacks was waiting for the two of you on the counter. There were numerous kinds of chocolate, and Dazai had grabbed a couple bags of gummies for himself. There were a few more bags of chips for variety, and you scooped everything up in your arms to bring to the living room. You dropped them all on the coffee table and grabbed the remote. "Alright, what movie are we feeling?" You ask, turning to the brunette man. "Uhhhhh, how about an action movie. Somethin' that looks exciting." He says, slinging his arm over your shoulder while he munches on sour gummy worms. Eventually, the two of you decide on a Godzilla movie, slumped against the couch with chocolate residue on the tips of your fingers from your candies. Dazai let out a long sigh as the movie came to a close, leaning into you and resting his head on your shoulder.

You ran your fingers through Dazais messy and slightly greasy hair, scratching his scalp and listening to his pleased, quiet hum. "Are you falling asleep or are you up for another movie?" You ask him, watching the credits roll on the TV. "I'm up for another movie, I just think I might be having a sugar crash." He says, groaning as he sits back up. You nod and grab the remote again, browsing through all the film options. Every now and again, your eyes involuntarily flickered over to your boyfriend, and you couldnt help but smile. He looked really cute in your shirt, and it almost made you wanna treat the movie like chopped liver and cuddle up to him.

"You look really cute." You say, playing whatever movie you absent-mindedly started in your daze. "Oh, I know, right?" He grins running his hand over his body. "As a matter of fact, I've never felt sexier." He teases, moving his eyebrows up and down with a smirk. You can't help but laugh at him. "Let's get you on a playboy cover." Before you know it, he's standing up in front of the TV. "Scrap the movie, you have me for entertainment instead." He puts his hands on his hips and strikes a pose, making you laugh some more. "You want some attention? I mean, I guess since you asked so politely." You stand up with an eye roll and pull him in, kissing him and running a hand down his side. He keeps one hand on your chin, tilting your head to meet his lips, sighing quietly each time your lips part for a quick moment. Soon, you both need more air then small gasps and have to pull away. He smiles and messes with the fabric of your own shirt. "How about we ditch this mess for now and go to bed, yeah? We can continue comfortably there?" He offers, You glance back over at the piles of snacks, opened or not, scattered acrossed the floor. Normally you'd make him help you clean up before doing anything else, but tonight you really couldn't be bothered and just wanted to follow Dazai wherever he'd take you. "Alright, let's go."

Chuuya Nakahara ★

• Everyone knows that Chuuya adores his hat, but not everyone knows he's got a decently sized collection of fancy hats on top of his closet. One day while rummaging around and trying to find one of Chuuyas button downs for him, you notice them all on the top rack.

ೃ⁀➷

"Chuuya, you didn't tell me you had so many hats!" You called out to him, standing back and staring at them all. Chuuya was currently in the bathroom, shaving his peach fuzz to keep his smooth face. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I've got a ton." He calls back, washing the shaving cream off of his skin. "They're pretty..can I try some of 'em on?" You ask, reaching to grab the one on the top of the stack. "Go ahead." He walks out of the bathroom with his towel around his waist, leaning against the doorframe to watch the little fashion show you were about to put on. The first one you grabbed was adorned with flowers of various colors. You placed it on your head and turned around, posing with your hands on your hips.

"What do you think? Vogue worthy?" You ask him. He smiles at you and nods, his arms crossed over his chest. "One hundred percent, that's peak fashion." He says genuinely, standing up straight and walking over to the closet. He reaches up and grabs another hat for you to try, switching it out for the flowers one. This one is a dark, reddish brown color. "This one's cute too." You giggle and head over to the bathroom to see for yourself. "Ooo, I'm not sure this kinda hat is necessarily for me." You giggle. "What do you mean? It looks great on you!" He says, following you in and hugging you from behind. "You only say that because they're your hats." You say, grinning.

"I mean, I guess not everyone is destined to look good in them like me." He says, squeezing your hip. "I gotta actually get ready for work now, I'm probably runnin' late." He says, turning around and dropping his towel. He tossed it into the hamper before getting dressed in his usual attire, spotting the button down that you had forgotten about in favor of his hat collection. "Okayyyy." You yawn, stretching your arms over your head and treading through the bedroom to start your own morning routine. You didn't have to leave for another hour, but Chuuya had to get to work within the next 30 minutes. After brushing your teeth, you notice Chuuya searching the bedroom for his usual hat.

"The nightstand." You point out to him. He sees it and lets out a sigh of relief, grabbing it and plopping it on his head. "Thanks, doll. I gotta get going' now, but I'll see ya tonight, okay?" He says, pulling you in by your waist for his daily goodbye kiss. "Yeah, got it." You smile before kissing him sweetly for a quick moment before he backs away. "Alright, I love you, see ya later." He playfully smacks your ass before letting go of you and heading out to the door. "Bye Chuuya, I love you, I'll see you later!" Once you heard him leave, you smiled to yourself and headed right back to the closet. You didn't necessarily have to get dressed just yet, so that gave you some time to try on a couple more hats on your own.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ★

• Fyodor doesn't mind letting you borrow his cape if you seem cold, or he'll simply wrap it around you and pull you into his side. He prefers the latter, considering it doesn't take much for him to get chilly.

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Fyodor held your gloved hand in his as you both walked down the snowy streets of Yokohama. It was the winter solstice and you both decided to take a walk down one of the most popular roads and do some window shopping. By the end of the evening, the hand that wasn't occupied with holding Fyodors held a warm cup of hot chocolate that you sipped on periodically. "Have you enjoyed yourself tonight, Myshka?" He asks you, adjusting his ushanka and gazing up at the sky, noticing some snow start to fall. "I did. Thanks for coming with me, I know you have a lot of stuff to do." You respond, bringing the cup to your lips for another sip. He waves his hand dismissively. "That doesn't mean I can't accompany you." His thumb rubs over your knuckles as snow starts landing on his hat and your head, the street lamps illuminating the darkness with a tangerine-colored glow. You nod at his words, leaning into his shoulder and shivering.

"It's so cold, Fedya." You say, your head on his shoulder and your hand squeezing his tightly. He lets go in order to put his arm around your waist, pulling his long cape over your shoulder. "I know, the walk home isn't much further, don't worry." You smile and hold onto the old, worn material to keep it in place. "You're right, thanks." You say, feeling butterflies in your stomach. It never mattered how long you and Fyodor had been together, every affectionate action made you feel like you had just got together. He held you close with his cape still shielding you from the cold and adding a layer of warmth to your jacket. He would peer over at you every now and again, laughing under his breath at all the snow that was getting into your hair. "What's so funny?" You ask him, a smile spread acrossed your face. "You've got a whole bunch of snow on your head." He tells you. "It looks like dandruff."

You roll your eyes and yank the ushanka off of his head, placing it on yours instead. "There, now you won't have to look at it." You hold the fluffy hat on top of your head and try to prevent him from taking it back when he tugs on it. "No, you can get your own, my ears are cold." He says with a smile, eventually pulling it back into his own possession and patting it off. "I will say though, you look better in my hat than Dazai did." You give a proud smirk and rest your head on his shoulder. "I'd hope you'd think so." Your street comes into view and you pull him along as you speed up, wanting to get into the warm, cozy house as soon as possible. "I know running isn't exactly your thing but pick up the pace a little, I wanna get under the covers and cuddle." You tell him, getting closer to home with each passing second.

He picks up speed for you and listens to the sound of your feet hitting the pavement. It's not long before you've pulled him all the way home and you're unlocking the door, nearly spilling inside to get into the warm living room. Fyodor follows suit, unlacing his shoes and hanging up his cape and ushanka. You wait for him in the open doorway that connects the living room and the hallway, ready to curl up in bed away from the harsh cold. "Alright, I'm coming." He says, treading through the hall with you and opening the bedroom door. His hand rested on your lower back as you both walked to the comfortable mattress, crawling under the covers and pulling each other close. "Your cape is really warm and comfortable. You should wrap me in it more often." You say, scooching closer to him and letting his arm drape over your waist.

"Hmm, I guess that wouldn't hurt. You really like it?" He peers down at you, his head propped up on his fist. "Yeah, I might have to steal it, actually." You say seriously, making him click his tongue. "You're welcome to steal it if I'm not wearing it." He says, chewing on the inside of his cheek habitually. "Then expect it to be off the hanger more often then not." He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead, laying his head down on the pillow. "Okay, that's fine, but right now you have me and the blanket to keep you warm." He murmurs, closing his eyes. "Well you're not contributing to that as much as the blanket, but whatever you say." You kiss his cheek and brush his bangs out of his face. "G'night Fedya, I love you." You say, resting your head on his chest, ready for sleep. "I love you too, y/n, sleep well."

Nikolai Gogol ★

• You always loved Nikolais outfit and couldn't help but wanna put it in one day. You were sure he wouldn't mind, after all, sharing attire was nothing foreign to your relationship.

ೃ⁀➷

It started with you trying on his blouse for fun, but then you decided the blouse wasn't complete without the vest, pants, gloves, collar, shoes, or hat. Everything fit you a little differently than it fit Nikolai, but it didn't matter, because when you walked over to the nearest reflective surface, you found yourself cute, and you almost couldn't wait for Nikolai to get out of the shower to show him. You just needed one more thing, his cape. You ran out to the coat rack by the door and swung it behind you and then over your shoulders excitedly, grabbing it by the edges and moving it around. You felt really fancy with his cape, swaying your body just to feel the fabric move with you. As a matter of fact, you were so caught up in how good the cape made you feel that you didn't even realize the bathroom door open.

"Oh, wow, dove! My outfit looks so good on you! I've never noticed how much the red gloves pop until now." You turned around so fast, as if you were sitting in silence and all of a sudden a full file cabinet tipped over and crashed onto a linoleum floor. "Wah-! When'd you get out? I mean, thank you, but you scared me!" You say with a nervous laugh. "I thought it looked cute." You murmur, starting to pull off the gloves, but he stops you. "Hey, wait, you should stay in it for a moment, I'm not done admiring you yet!" He tells you, walking over and grabbing your hands gently. He leans in to kiss you, his smile palpable on his lips. You hand falls on his shoulder, rubbing it up and down affectionately before pulling away. "You really like it that much, huh?"

He nods. "Ofcourse! Oh, I'd love to show everyone how wonderful you look. Would you let me?" He asks, squeezing your hands tightly. "Sure, Kolya, go ahead." He quickly skitters off to fetch his cellphone, returning with the camera app already open. "Pose." He says, watching you place your hands on your waist and cock your hip a little bit. "Ah, gorgeous." He says, spamming the capture button. "Okay, I think that's enough." He says, his cheeks a bit pinker than before. He tossed his phone onto one of the side tables and embraced you once again, resting his head on top of yours. "Come on, y/n, I'd like to see you in my whole wardrobe now!" He says excitedly, pulling you along back to the bedroom. You don't necessarily know what you ignited in him, but it was certainly something, and now you were preparing yourself for a god-knows-how-long fashion show for your boyfriend. Not that you really minded, ofcourse.

A/n; another post that was supposed to have sigma and then didn't have sigma because I wanted to watch Jersey shore instead of write. ALSO I WENT TO THE DENTIST YESTERDAY terrible experience I cried but don't tell anyone I said that

[taintandviolent]

So, I saw that you write Gambit, and I fell in LOVE with your style and portrayal. I also saw your smut list? Could I maybe request Gambit with a female S/O? I can't decide between 100, 117, 127, 144. So uh.... You pick? I'm honestly a sucker for first times/possessive/protective/ would burn the world down to protect troupes. If it's too much though, feel free to ignore me. I don't mean to bother you about my hyper fixation crush xD

warnings: smut (female receiving), fingering, remy being selfless and concerned with your pleasure only, uhhhhh I think that's it. I'm sorry my smut drabbles have been kinda mild lately, I haven't got the braincell during the work week lmao.

The sound of the world outside your window fades away as he touches you. Your back arches against the mattress, pushing your chest up into the air and as it does, Remy’s hands trail over your ample cleavage, admiring it as his fingertips ghost over the flesh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. 

Every ragged breath has your tits bouncing, jiggling underneath his touch, and Remy gobbles up the visual like it’s dinner. Everything he does seems to elicit lewd reactions from your body, actually – not that you’re complaining. At all. In fact, you’re just about blissed out with the way he’s touching you. A shiver erupts down your spine, shaking your entire body. He smiles a half-smile as he watches your reactions.

He has you whining at the attentive way his hands move over your body, tracing every inch of it like he’s trying to remember it in case he never gets to touch it again. One hand traces the curve of your stomach, while the other is slotted between your legs, fingering you masterfully. You swallow, laboriously lifting your head to look down at his hands. He’s been going at you for God knows how long, you’ve lost track. You can feel the outline of his erection on your leg, yet he oddly hasn’t insisted upon anything. 

“You feel so good… but…”  He looks at you with concern in his eyes, as if he’s suddenly realized that you’re unhappy. Remy’s fingers slow their pace, ready for whatever comes next. He’d do anything to please you, even if that meant stopping. 

“B-But what about you?” you continue, worried.

Relieved, he chuckles low, and slides his finger down to your entrance, ready to resume. “We can worry about Remy later. It’s alla’ ‘bout you right now.”

His selfless response floors you… or maybe it’s the way that his middle finger breaches your dripping slit, and crooks up inside to find your G-spot with ease, while the wide pad of thumb continues swiping at your clit. Maybe it’s both. You’re going with both. 

You’re used to being pleasured. You’ve felt all this before – well, not this, specifically, because no man has ever pleasured you the way that Remy Lebeau is pleasuring you currently. From the way his finger encircles your clit, applying just enough pressure to drive you crazy, but not enough to make you orgasm yet to the way that he leans down every so often, kissing along your collarbone.

“Remy,” you plead. “I want you to feel good, too…” 

“Oh, don’t you worry ‘bout ‘dat, chere… I feel just fine right now.”

Serving as punctuation, Remy thrusts his hips into the meat of your thigh, bumping his swollen, aching cock against your leg. You can feel the heat of it through your pants, and long to touch it, to stroke it, to taste it… but he has you whipped underneath his grasp, he’s in control and you’re certainly not about to test his strength.

[so-mordor-itis]

Eye on You

“give peace a chance, let the fear you have fall away, i’ve got my eye on you. say yes to heaven, say yes to me.

if you go, I’ll stay.. you come back, I’ll be right here. like a barge at sea, in the storm I stay clear, cause I’ve got my mind on you”

I told you I'd write a drabble but uhhhhh this ain't no drabble- @unhealthy-leon-brainrot

1998.

Leon loved differently back then. He loved in a way a 21 year old man freshly graduated from college could. He was giddy whenever the person in his interest would smile at him, would give him any time of day. His hands would become clammy, and his heart would race as if he were still a teenager. Sometimes, he truly felt like one at heart. That his soul was trapped in that time period, and it wouldn't ever leave.

It's why when he met you for the first time, and when you smiled at him as if nothing could go wrong, his face burned, and his heart almost burst right then and there. You were a brilliant flame, and he felt like a small candle stick awaiting to be lit.

He asked you out in a sputter of words, hating himself immediately after listening to them tumble. Leon didn't want his nervousness to show. He had been practicing for weeks in front of bathroom mirrors and sometimes in the Officer's Academy shower, hoping nobody overheard him. He wanted it to be perfect because that's what you deserved.

You giggled, and somehow, his heart both fluttered and sank. Your eyes glittered with an emotion that made him slightly hopeful. "You want to take me out on a date?"

"Yeah," he replied, all too quickly. "If you'd like to that is--only if you'd like to." He wished he could stop himself from talking, but he couldn't.

You smiled at him, and dammit there went the last of his coherent thoughts. "You know what? Sure. I don't have anything interesting going on." You laughed again, looking away shyly. "I can't say no when you're looking at me like that."

"Like what?" Leon asked, though he fully knew what you were talking about.

"Like I'm the only thing on your mind," you responded. You were fidgeting with your shirt, and Leon wanted nothing more than to grab your hands and hold them.

You weren't incorrect, either. You were on his mind a frightening amount. This affection for you was a buzz in the back of his mind, a throb in his chest.

You still said yes.

"So it's a date?"

"Yes, it's a date."

He swore he grinned from ear to ear, and he saw you return it.

--

The day he was supposed to pick you up, he never did. You were more worried than disappointed. Leon didn't seem like the type of guy you ask you out, gazing at you as if you created the sky and the stars, and then drop you like a hat. Despite the bitter part of you wanting to think he ditched you, the rational part knew better.

He called you hours later, apologetic and broken. "I'm so sorry. Something... something came up."

"Forget the date," you quickly muttered, surprised at how swift the words left your mouth. "Are you okay?"

He was silent for a bit. "Not really."

"Where are you? I'm coming to you."

"No, wait," Leon called your name almost in a plea. "I don't want you to drag yourself into this."

You weren't backing down without a little bit of a fight. "Leon, please."

He paused before stating he was in a hospital outside of Raccoon City.

--

Leon knew he loved you after that. He never admitted to himself until he was sure, but he couldn't prevent that innocent crush from growing into something more powerful.

You became a firework, blazing in his lonely, starless sky. You had always been.

2004.

He liked to believe he still loved the same. Wanted to love the same as he did all those years ago. His heart pounding and his palms becoming clammy, blue eyes full of innocent love.

He knew he didn't.

Leon was reserved now, awkward with his affection, hesitant with his touches yet still craved it. He hated that you had to watch him develop--no, perhaps devolve was the better word here--this trauma response. This training, this work, it all collapsed on top of him, and sometimes he felt as if it would eventually crush him.

Yet, some part of you still saw his old self. That stupid, lovesick boy who craved your attention the way a puppy would a scrap of food. You still gave him love, still kissed his scars, still told him sweet nothings when he broke down crying because the pressure was too much.

He once asked you if you were okay with all of this still, okay with him. You gave him your usual smile, the one that made him weak and touched that lovesick boy deep down. "You're stuck with me, Leon. I gave myself to you the day you asked me out. I'm staying. No matter what happens, I'm here."

He kissed you hard that day. Harder than he ever had. Placing a promise against your lips that he would always come back to you. No matter what.

--

You often wondered what he would do without you. If he would crash and burn the moment you turned around, if the night terrors would claw at his throat and suffocate him.

It was hard, watching him suffer mentally when all you could do was give him words of affirmation. Reassure him that the nightmares weren't real and that you were truly there with him and not bloodied up and dead.

Those moments made the good ones feel like precious gifts. Not just for you, but also for him. You carried them in your heart and held on to those when the bad days would storm over his head.

You remembered one of those good days so clearly, so vividly it never failed to make you smile. One day, while looking over some files, Leon had fallen asleep. His glasses--the ones he usually only used whenever he was reading important work files--were scrunched against his face, pushing up against the bridge of his nose. You remembered walking into his office, snickering a little at the sight. You sighed, shaking your head. "What am I going to do with you?"

You approached him quietly, as if the smallest movement would ruin his peaceful slumber. You grabbed the rims of his glasses carefully, pulling them off his face so he'd be more comfortable. As you did, you caught a feel of his soft locks and couldn't help but lightly smooth between your fingers. You took note of his facial features; his cheekbones were more rigid, and the shadows of his eyes were sunken in. His hair was even a bit darker, looking dirtier blond than it had when you first met. Still handsome, that would never change.

The urge to kiss his forehead had you twitching, but you didn’t want to disturb him. Especially since he had probably been staring at documented words for who knows how long.

You moved to quietly nudge yourself away before his sleepy voice mumbled. "Gonna go so soon?"

You blinked, looking down to see his eyes were now open. Still hazy from his rest. You practically beamed at him. "Didn't wanna wake you."

Leon sat up, stretching a little before putting his glasses back on. "Guess I must've passed out. These reports practically put me to sleep. I can't believe this is part of what they pay me for."

You attempted to catch a glimpse of whatever was on the document, but he placed them flat on the table when he caught you.

Leon snickered. "Classified. Sorry, baby."

You pouted a little. "Can't I help my boyfriend out a little?"

He stood up and stretched more, popping his back. "Not if it means you getting in trouble by seeing the reports. I'd also get in trouble, and we definitely wouldn't want that."

"Man, and here I thought I'd be able to see the famous missions Leon Kennedy goes on," you teased.

Leon just rolled his eyes as if you two had had this discussion before. You have. You just like to see him smile. Distract him as much as you could.

"Become an agent, then we'll talk." He took off his glasses and put them back on his desk. He placed his gaze upon you, and you could feel the adoration in his eyes. He still looked at you as if you had created the sky, the moon, the stars. As if you were his sun and he orbited around you and only you. You would never get over it.

Leon mimicked the action you were doing earlier and parted your hair from your cheeks so he could kiss your forehead.

His work phone rang loud, interrupting the moment. Leon sighed and kissed you quickly against the lips before the obligation to his duty forced him to go answer it.

"Kennedy. Yes, sir."

You observed his body language as he discussed with his superior. His shoulders went rigid, his eyes focused as if he were already on the field. He was prepared for whatever they were about to tell him because he had to be.

He hung up after a minute of giving affirming hums and a variety of yeses. Leon plopped his phone on the documentations and gave you an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it." You shook your head. You knew what he was about to say. He didn't even need to tell you anything out loud. His eyes told the whole story.

"I really don't deserve you," he mumbled. "Makes me wonder how you do it."

"Because I love you." You said simply. "I'm here to stay, remember?"

--

|Tags:|

@seraphiism , @uhlunaro , @izuniias , @honeyfict , @konigbabe , @leonskillshot , @airanke , @muffimtv , @justonemore-fic , @mandalhoerian , @tosuckmyweenis , @boundinparchment

[alastorsbookie10228]

HIIIII im returning to help flood your inbox ! 😋

so uhhhhh could you maybe write about Husk like comforting reader (gn again please if you don't mind❤️) about a tough day at school, like the readers a teen and idk it js went rlly bad bc schools going back in and my week hasn't been the greatest 🥲 (I SHOULDVE STAYED SICK FOR LONGER OHMYGOSH KAKEKWJSJ) yeah but and platonic (OBVIOUSLY 💀😭) but like yk like husks their like father figure in a way?? Idk i js love the kitty and want him to comfort me😭

and ps thank u for the angel fic, i loved it and ur sweet as well ! ❤️

and i hope you're doing good:)

oh my goodness, all my friends' first week SUCKED and i've been imagining scenarios like this ALL DAY!!

anyway...now presenting...!

It's okay, kid. it'll be alright

Husk x reader (platonic) x Angel Dust (also platonic)

you sigh as you push open the doors to the Hazbin Hotel, throwing your bookbag to the side with a sigh. you blink back tears as you walk to the bar and slump into the seat beside Angel.

"hey, kid. you alright?" Husk asks, pouring your favorite soda into a glass and sliding it to you.

then it happens.

before you can catch yourself, you're sobbing into Husks chest as you fall to the floor.

"it was horrible! all the teachers are so mean, and that one girl that bullied me last year is in my math class!" you sob into his chest.

he rubs your back comfortingly and looks at Angel, slightly concerned.

"heya toots, ya wanna go watch a movie? make some cookies?" Angel offers with a small smile.

you sniffle and nod, standing up with Husk. you all walk to Angel's room, you reaching the door first as you were ecstatic to see Fat Nuggets. you smile and pick the pig up, snuggling him tightly.

Husk and Angel stand in the doorway, smiling slightly.

"they love that pig, don't they?" Angel says, and Husk nods.

"yeah. i been thinking, and i'm gonna get them a pet. not a dog though, because Alastor doesn't like dogs. maybe a hamster or a bird." Husk says, and they both walk into the room.

"alright, kid. you pick the movie." Angel hands you the remote, and you quickly play your favorite movie, causing them to laugh.

"it's gonna be the same every time, huh?" Husk asks, and you nod.

Angel and Husk lay on either side of you as you hold a snoring Fat Nuggets. your eyes start to droop slightly, and you lean towards Husk.

he looked down at you with a small smile and holds you.

"thank you for everything, dad" you say half asleep, and Husk's eyes widen, along with Angel's.

that sentence alone brought small tears to Husk's eyes, and he swore he'd never been so happy.

[finniestoncrane]

Since I'm being Riddler this year for Halloween it made me think uhhhhh how would the Riddlers react to reader wearing their outfit? Also love your writing btw Finnie :>💚

Wearing Their Outfit

Riddler Headcanons AH thank you lil bug!! and a happy halloween everyone but especially everyone who is dressing up as the riddler in one capacity or another 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some suggestive stuff, nothing explicit i don't... think

arkham

regardless of which outfit you steal from him, the suit, the sweater vest, or the ratty vest and shirt combo he's gonna be annoyed. quite annoyed actually

you're sullying them! you don't deserve to wear them! what if people mistake you for him? he can't have that kind of damage to his reputation

so you better remove them, right now. and he doesn't care if you're then left naked and embarrassed, that's your problem. and it'll serve nice as an apology to him to get to see you in that state

zero year

he gets what you were going for, imitation is after all the greatest form of flattery and he can't deny that he deserves all the compliments in the world

but this is the wrwong way to please him, because here you are putting on more clothes, when he would rather you remove all clothes

the hat, however... that can stay on actually. you might have to hold on to it though, because he can't guarantee he'll be gentle with you

unburied

one of the very few times he has ever felt genuine adoration for you outside of his dry, sarcastic way of showing affection was when you borrowed his sweater

the one barbara gave him to wear, stained with his blood, torn and ripped and damaged, but a comfort item for him

and to see you all cosy and wrapped up in it, he can't help but consider that you might even be cuter than he is. but only just!

btas

that hat suits you but his shirt is a little big. doesn't matter though, because for first time in his life he's confused! he doesn't really know what to do

first of all, it seems to strange that something can be cute and sexy at the same time? you can't make his heart skip a beat and his cock hard at the same time, surely?

well, if anyone can, it's you. but that begs the question: what does he do next? smoosh your cheeks together? or... bend you over and clap the other set of cheeks?

dano

he'd lose his god damn mind, regardless of what you have underneath that coat, because his imagination is already running wild

just think how delightful it would be to peel back that mask while he was inside of you, revealing your face in pure ecstacy

even better if you were splattered in the blood of his enemies, but hey he's not going to be picky. the jacket and the boots are plenty

twojar

oh fuck yeah, because here's the thing about that outfit: the shirt isn't unbuttoned, it just doesn't have buttons

which means if you're wearing it he's getting a solid look at your chest, always a positive for him because getting to see any part of your body makes his day

but it proves a bit distracting for him while he's working on his overthrow of joker, so contrary to his desires, you might need to cover up

gotham

can we stay with sweet eddie? season 1 eddie? losing his mind over walking in on you in one of the labs wearing his lab coat, some rubber gloves, and his spare glasses?

the blushing, the flustered stuttering as he tries to ask what you're doing, knowing full well exactly what your intentions are but still finding it hard to believe

because how could this possibly be real? since this is exactly the same thing he dreamed about the ight before. and the night before that. and the night before that. and the night...

[wjbminecraft]

Ok so I agree that the Minecraft movie looks bad. But also like almost every alternative idea I've seen including my own one feel more like fanfilm ideas than something I can imagine a major studio making. So, here's how I imagine a good (or at least not terrible) "mainstream" Minecraft movie could work (please bear in mind that I'm thinking from the perspective of what I, personally, believe a studio would approve, while also trying to make it at least somewhat Minecrafty, also sorry if this sounds bad, I'm not a writer or director or whatever):

Make it animated, obviously. Go for the Minecraft trailer style, but - and I cannot stress this enough - make it have dialogue, like yeah a movie with no dialogue might sweep the film festivals, but cinematic releases of dialogue-free movies are rare. In regards to face animation, they could just flap around the characters' mouth-pixels or whatever. No 3D modelled mouths, like I'm probably in the minority here but I do not like how Minecraft characters look with 3D modelled mouths.

Keep the isekai aspect. You can do a lot with that, especially if it has an ensemble cast (more on that further down), since you can then have some of them actually know the mechanics and have like. A character arc of teaching their parents or whatever how the game works. And there's maybe like two live-action sequences? Like one at the start and one at the end.

Make. The antagonists. Illagers. Other people have said this and I agree. It makes more sense than Piglins and also it means that the Nether could be saved for a potential sequel. However,

The movie should break away from just including stuff that exists in/works like the game, like this is the one criticism of the Minecraft movie that I 100% disagree with. Like people are like "Lol, this thing isn't in Minecraft! This isn't a real Minecraft movie!" then turn around and go "Minecraft Story Mode is the real Minecraft movie!" when like, that game has so much fucking stuff that isn't in the actual game. Let the Minecraft movie have made up stuff in it, but make it actually good made up stuff (and not like. Ghast hot-air balloons or chained buckets or whatever the Minecraft movie actually has in it). Give us whales and giant smashy-smashy Illagers and one (1) Redstone-powered mech and stuff.

I cannot stress enough. Ensemble cast. It could just be my bias but I do think it should have an ensemble cast. Like maybe two and their parent(s). Like a lot of the Minecraft Movie overhauls/preemptive rewrites I've seen are all like "it's just Alex and Steve surviving" and like. No, that would be too "boring" for a feature-length mainstream animated family film.

The soundtrack is cool cinematic covers of the Minecraft soundtrack, but specifically the more recent tracks for rights reasons or whatever.

Herobrine shouldn't be referenced.

"Defending the base" sequence during the first night in the Minecraft world, and then at some point later on there's a brief bit where all the characters are using the skills they've learned throughout the plot (e.g one of them is really good at Redstone and has set up like piston traps or whatever).

Sculk is used as a Chekov's Gun; there's a vein of it growing under the main village, and as the characters fight and defeat Illagers, it grows, and then when the protagonists are on the ropes, the sound of the Illager leader unsheathing their sword or whatever alerts an entire chain of Sculk Sensors that activates a Sculk Shrieker, which then causes a Warden to appear and save the protagonists.

I am mostly out of ideas but uhhhhh the Ender Dragon is also saved as a potential sequel thing. Ok bye.

[defilerwyrm]

May i ask how's the recovery process after gender affirming surgeries?

If you mean how's it going now: my last surgery was in 2022 so at this point I'm 100% healed up. I was SUPPOSED to get my implants in December 2023 but my insurance company has been fucking me over at every turn so that's still on hold.

If you mean how was it at the time:

Top surgery (2018) was pretty easy for me since I have a desk job. I stayed with family in town for the first 2 weeks, during which time I basically did nothing but sleep, wake up long enough to use the toilet, take a dry shower, eat something, take more pain meds, then go back to sleep. I had 4 weeks off work, so after that I was a little sore and still confined to button-down shirts because I couldn't raise my arms above shoulder level; then I went back to work and all was normal for the next month. But...

Because I am an unlucky son of a bitch, I had a rare complication: I developed a seroma that dehysced (i.e. a hole opened up along my suture line that leaked large amounts of greasy, bright orange fluid made up of lymph and blood), which was not painful at all but was absolutely disgusting and very alarming to experience—but not a medical emergency or anything, and was easily fixed with a revision surgery. I took another 2 (I think?) weeks off work and it's been fine ever since. The left side of my chest is a little funny but I don't really care, it was fully worth it. Please note that I did not have drains. If you have drains, you're even LESS likely to have this problem.

Hysterectomy (2019) was much the same: I slept through the first two weeks and spent the next 2 in a recliner with an ice pack on my lower belly, playing a lot of Stardew Valley and getting into Critical Role. I was lucky enough to live with a friend who loves cooking. I ate a lot of soup. The soreness wasn't that bad, but I have a policy of staying ahead of the pain by using timers for how often I should be taking them. The worst part of it was the pain meds, tbh, because I really don't like the way oxycodone makes me feel; at the same time, I'm grateful for that fact because it keeps me from forming a habit.

Phalloplasty etc (2021) was kinda rough to start. I had 3 months off work that time. Slept through the first 2 weeks as usual. But for the first 3 weeks total I had a suprapubic catheter in and man I fuckin' hate being cathed. I felt like I needed to pee at all times, even immediately after draining the cath bag. Awful. Learning to pee standing up was...let's just say I did a lot of laundry and cleaning, lol. This was made worse by the fact that I had two fistulae (holes that go through the urethra all the way to the outside)—like I said, I've got bad luck. One of them healed up all on its own, like most of them do. The other one required a revision 8 months later, which meant being cathed again for a while, SIGH. But back to post-op for phallo: I had physical therapy for my left arm to make sure I kept a good range of motion; I kept the graft bandaged with daily gentle cleanup, application of ointments, and rebandaging; and had to take dry showers for the first uhhhhh. 2 weeks at least, maybe 3 or 4? After I got the cath out, things were MUCH easier. I was just kinda vaguely tired and sore and spent most of my time lying down. My libido came back at the start of the 2nd month, which was frustrating af because it wasn't till the start of the 3rd month that I was healed up enough to do anything about it (but once I could, holy FUCK it was incredible).

[sentientcave]

WIP WEDNESDAY BABES

Got two little bite size snippets for you all if you would care to partake. One from the next chapter of Retirement Party and one from chapter uhhhhh sixteen? Of Sparrow. I swear I'm gonna start posting that soon.

As usual, MDNI please

Retirement Party

It’s strange to be back in London. He still comes here once a week— A staunch refusal to switch to a new therapist, even if it would save him the short flight from Aberdeen Airport every Friday, his whole day eaten away by travel and the hour appointment with Dr. Clara. He doesn’t like her. She thinks he’s stubborn and resistant. She’s probably right. For the first time, he thinks it might be a good idea to switch. Or stop coming in personally, conduct therapy online. Being away from Dalisay bothers him. He doesn’t like that she’s alone in the house. If something happened, he’d be too far away to do anything about it. If she left, he wouldn't be able to stop her, but... She’d seen him off, kissed him at the door, said she’d make dinner for when he got back. She wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t want to. He had to trust her, even if it was a difficult thing to do. It would probably kill him if he came home to an empty house.

Sparrow

Well. Makarov was a secondary objective at this point. If the opportunity to kill him presented itself he’d shoot, but there was no sense hunting the man down and losing his chance to get off the bloody boat with him and Morgan in one piece. If it were just Ghost, he might’ve chanced it. Maybe blown up the whole bloody ship. He didn’t really care if he lived or died— In many ways he’d been dead for years now, if not since they buried him, since he buried himself along with his family in that gray little cemetery in Manchester— But he did care if she lived. He could lie to himself and say it was out of loyalty to Price, getting his girl back home for him, but it wasn’t that. There was something in that soft, stubborn little bird that he recognized, something that resonated with the part of him that was still Simon Riley, deep down inside where the light couldn’t get in. He could feel the first stirrings of life in a long while, like she was spring, thawing the frozen ground and coaxing something green and delicate out of the mud. Maybe it was just him being selfish (he’d always been selfish), but he wanted to see what could grow.

[aceadmiral]

i actually would be incredibly interested in reading even just a list of everything that was wrong with 'a quick and easy guide'

Oh, boy, I'm not even sure I could make a list of everything that was wrong with it... but you know I will try! :3

Factual Errors

The Demi flags on the cover have the wrong size stripes. Yes, you read right: this book is so bad, even the cover is wrong

They define the "asexual spectrum" to mean sex-averse/indifferent/favorable???

And then they call sex-favorable "sex-charmed"?????? And also "sex-enthused"

And they equate being gray-a to being sex favorable in some way, which is. Certainly a take.

They make a chart of "the Split Attraction Model" (already problematic) that's the first cartesian quadrant with an x-axis labeled "Romance" and a y-axis labeled "Sexual" and then put the tiniest, tiniest little circle around (0,0) to say that's where aroaces are.

There's a weird Pride and Prejudice metaphor that I think is incorrect to the source material, but I'm not an Austen expert and I see inexplicable P&P references more often than one would imagine, so we can let this one slide....

Bad Writing/Praxis

They say: "If you're not asexual, you're allosexual, be you gay, straight, or anywhere on the spectrum." Uhhhhh last I checked, people on the asexual spectrum are asexual. Or, this could just be really poorly written. They come back later to say that there are "just ace people and allo people" though.

They say that asexuality means not experiencing sexual attraction and nothing else—which is at odds with the way most community members actually define it

They also clumsily hit the talking point about "being ace doesn't stop me from from wanting to have a loving relationship or a family"

In fact, they hit a lot of cliché talking points, including some that have been criticized, but I guess... that's not... a crime....

There's an exploration of asexual "stereotypes" that I found to be confusing and incomplete

They call sex a "basic human need" which... is not helping

There's a conversation about whether or not aces are welcome in "LGBTQIA+" spaces, which didn't sit right with me, but also.... consult the acronym you have used.........

They call the OED "English's Boss," which I take exception to because no dictionary is the boss of English!!

Overall lack of nuance and accepts normative framing instead of challenging it.

Also, this book is only 72 pages long, and also a comic. So if you do the math, I was hitting on something that made me upset on nearly every page. Like, I don't deny I can be nit-picky and also a crab, but please believe me this book was egregiously misinformed. I hope this is helpful to you, or at least amusing 😔🙏 Thank you for the ask!

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

I know you're not Identifying-cars-in-posts, but could you tell me about this car? Best pic I could get. It's got such a creature face, I really like it

First off, PLEASE feel free to treat me as a makeshift @identifying-cars-in-posts. I'm pretty sure I said as much at some point, but I should update my pinned to reflect that. Second off, I genuinely did the held in snore-laugh WHAT IS THAT THING

And I did indeed not know, due to the gaps in my knowledge of SUVs that size caused mainly by them barely ever coming to places like Europe, whose human-sized environments are not comfortably navigated by these absolute fucking monsters - hell, I live near a two way road that gets almost 25cm narrower than this thing. Oh, for yanks, that's just over the length of my- you know what actually let's not give that information to the public I can think of something else, uhhhhh that's about a head's width right? Lemme look it up on Wikipedia. Nope, apparently it's about from your chin to your hair. Did you know Wikipedia has a subsection on median human head measurements on the not at all creepily named article "Human head"? There's a table from lowest 99- wait, what were we talking about? Oh right, that thing. How did I get sidetracked like that? I swear that never happens.

I know it's a recent SUV by Nissan's luxury brand Infiniti because it looks recent and has an Infiniti badge that's visible from space, so I just did what I usually do, type what I know into Google Images (yes, DuckDuckGo users, you get to feel superior to me) and glance around at the results to see if I stumble into it. "Infiniti SUV", however, net me zilch. So I figured, since the damn thing so big and goofy it makes the picture you sent look like an Animorphs cover where a car turns into a semi, it could not possibly be anything but the top-of-the-range QX80, and thus googled that next. However, all the behemoths I saw looked much more acceptable, making me begin fearing I'd have to delve into the absolute mess that is the Infiniti naming scheme.

But then, I had an idea.

First result. B)

So what you saw is the second generation of, as I'd suspected, the Infiniti QX80. But also technically not.

See, the one below is the 2004 Infiniti QX56, based on the Nissan Armada based on the Titan based on me, but we(eee!) are never ever ever wait that's not how the song goes.

In 2010, out came its now Nissan Patrol-based second generation, who saw the awkwardness of the first one's roofline realizing at the end of the rear door that it actually can't slope down like that and its front end deciding it may need to be different but who said it must be better and emphatically asked it to hold its gas station sake.

But, in 2015, they did a restyling, in which they sprinkled some LEDs into the lights and fiddled with the bumpers creating the model you saw on the road and I found on Google - and used the occasion to transition the model to the new naming scheme.

You see, Infiniti had realized nobody could parse or remember their seemingly random letters and engine size names, so they started shifting to calling every car Q (or QX if it's vaguely gesturing towards the concept of off-roader) and use the numbers, like in many other brands, to denote where they sit in the range - thus the range topper got the highest number, going from QX56 (denoting its 5.6L engine) to QX80.

(good God.)

So technically, you could argue this to be the first generation of Infiniti QX80, since before this specific restyling there was no Infiniti QX80 because it was called QX56. But that logic would dictate someone who transitioned a year ago is a baby, and honestly if one stance on car names bars me from sex with trans people I'll pick the other.

Either way, they ran with that restyling for three years until they were like "Oh when y'all asked for a restyling you meant you wanted us to make it stop looking like a whale telling its daughter she is not going out dressed like that? Oh okay! Coulda said it earlier!" and gave it the second restyling that carried the model up to this year.

I'm not sure if it actually looks nice full stop or if it's just the whiplash from the Multipla-rivaling previous model, but at least the fender vents now look like they came from Infiniti and not Walmart. Though this generation is now getting sunset altogether, since in the mean time they figured out how to make the damn thing even larger.

This pedestrian mower's headlights have a 'bamboo forest design motif', which I'm very excited by, knowing many people that named their headlights' lack thereof as the key reason for their waning will to live. It's expected to cost Too Much and have a gas mileage rating of You Spent Six Digits On A Drivable House You Don't Get To Even Ask.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

[sublimecatgalaxy]

me again :) i’ve been thinking a lot about javier peña and how i want him to be mine so bad thanks to tiktok💘 the idea i mentioned to you was reader and javi in a long distance relationship and just the phone conversation between the two of them. it could be fluffy or lean on the side of phone sex but literally anything where he’s speaking to the reader is perfect! can you tell i’m really into pedro’s voice? lol🤭

UHHHHH BESTTIE!!!! My first Javi request😌 TUMBLR THERE IS NO SMUT IN THIS, IT'S JUST FLIRTING AND FLUFFY PLEASE DON'T PUT A WARNING ON THIS.

"I did my nails today." I sigh, looking at the red tinge on my fingers and toes with a fond smile, knowing how much Javi loves when I get myself all pretty for him.

"Yeah?" Javier asks softly, his voice sending shivers down my spine, especially after not hearing from him for nearly three days. "What color?" He asks but I can hear the smile in his tone, knowing he already knows what color I chose.

"Your favorite." I hum with a smirk, twirling the cord on the phone while I curl up on his side of the bed, heart aching at the fact that I can no longer smell his cologne on his pillow.

"Red?"

"Yes."

"You should send me some polaroids." He offers with a sense of mischief in his voice and I giggle, eyes rolling at his pervy thoughts.

"Should I?" He laughs through the line and my whole body warms at the noise, a sense of adoration and appreciation consuming me as I desperately wish to be right there beside him in his Colombian home.

"I miss you." He whispers, a tinge of sadness to his voice.

"I miss you too. It's been awfully boring here. Just the cat and me." I reach down to pet my calico beauty Riley in my lap and she purrs happily, nudging her face against my hand just like she does to Javi when he's home. "I need my man here to spice up my life in more ways than one."

"I'm working on it, sweetheart." Though my words were meant to be teasing, there's an honest frustration to his own words and I realize how tired he must be and how much he must want to be home with me. "What else did you do today other than paint your nails and miss me?"

"Bought some groceries, bought a ticket to Columbia, got a new litterbox-"

"Wait what?" He cuts me off and I can hear the line rustle on his end, almost as if he's moving to catch up with the huge bomb I just dropped on him. Playing dumb, I roll my eyes teasingly and give him the best show I can give.

"What?" I ask dumbly, hearing him scoff loudly and impatiently on the other end of the line.

"You're coming to Columbia?" He asks breathlessly and I can picture the tears lining his lash line and the way his cheeks blush gently when he's excited.

"I get on a plane bright and early tomorrow morning." I giggle, boucing excitedly up and down on the bed, spooking Riley out of her slumber as she rushes off the bed and under it.

"You're kidding."

"You sound disappointed?" Nerves swirl in my tummy for a moment until he mutters a quiet 'no, no, no' under his breath and I feel the anxiety of my secret disappear.

"I'm shocked." He scoffs and if I close my eyes hard enough, I can picture him fisting his hair, looking around the room thinking something along the lines of 'how am I going to clean this apartment in time'. "I'm so fucking happy." He hums and the tears lining my own eyes are now dripping down my cheeks, my heart pounding excitedly. "I can't believe you're real."

"I'll show you how real I am in exactly twelve hours from now." He laughs at my flirting and gives me a quiet 'yes dear' and I begin to feel the anticipatory excitement just knowing I'll see him and be in his arms this time tomorrow.

"Promises, promises."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres @rafesbae01

[ultfreakme]

Kiawentiio (when answering about Kataang): it’s still just the first season but uhh they’re family *proceeds to explain the concept of found family*

Gordon: She’s my … uhh… family. Also, the one other person I did a chemistry read with outside of Dallas was Kiawentiio.

Albert Kim: Us doing Cave of Two Lovers doesn’t mean we won’t do Kataang. That’s a future storyline to be explored. Also, the finale I wrote with Katara’s speech was definitely meant to be romantic.

Everyone: Zutara will 100% be endgame

Gordon and Kiawentiio are so funny when they have to talk about Aang and Katara's relationship because they clearly don't want to spoil anything or hint at things, but they accidentally keep walking into conversations where they have to talk about it hdbfjgbhb it's cute.

"Yeah Aaang and Katara are uhhhhh- friends- and family. Yep just that just found family ya know"

The final speech is so good ;_; This Aang thinks that he can be nothing but the Avatar. He's not of this time, there is no home for him, and all the Avatars are telling him to keep his distance from people. He's feeling isolated, unwanted as just Aang, and alone. Katara tries to reach out but he isn't letting her.

Him merging with the ocean spirit in this version feels sadder because he's willing to lose all of himself. He just seems...done. But Katara is telling him that no, he isn't alone, that she'll stick by him so please just come back and I- I'M CRYING.;_; (I screamed at that part where Yue said the Ocean spirit will forever search for its other half and it cut to AANG AND KATARA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH)

(and i don't wanna diss or look down on zutara as a ship, but, zutara feels even more impossible in NATLA considering Katara gets flashbacks to the worst moment of her life at the sight of Zuko and the final fight is kinda symbolized as her being able to find strength and treasure the good times with her mother, overcoming the trauma FN inflicted upon her. Zuko is all her worst fears, he almost took away her brother too like come on).

Kataang is integral to ATLA in all its forms, like you can't make a true and honest ATLA adaptation without Kataang. Also I kinda liked the new take on Cave of Two Lovers. Familial and platonic love is important too <3<3(just remembered that multiple people called it incestuous?????? now that's just in bad faith like what is wrong with you?) We got some Sokka-Katara sibling bonding and resolution, I liked seeing them interact.

I think season 2 is going to have a lot more romantic moments between Kataand and I can't wait!!!

[very-gay-poet]

Always A God Never An Angel- A Harry Potter Fanfic. 

We all know the tale of Harry Potter, Magic Boy goes to Magic School, has dead parents, blah, blah, blah. 

Well, I don’t like that version of the story, considering I’m close friends with the lad. I know each myth and legend has its variations but come on! I was there; she could've asked me! Look, I get it, she went for an “inspiration” approach to the story, but it just feels insulting!

So I dedicate this to you Jo, you little shit.

First of all, before I begin, Happy Halloween everyone! 

On this day, in 1981, Lily and James Potter, parents to their one year old son, were killed by the darkest sorcerer of the age; Voldemort. 

Now you must be yelling, through your tears, as I dare to remind, you today of all days, the demise of the Potters, “tHiS iSn’T aNy difFeReNt FrOm tHe HaRrY pOtTeR I kNoW!!!” 

Okay then how 'bout this?

Voldemort brings werewolfed-out Fenrir Greyback along (it was a full moon. You want a source? Just-uhhhhh-trust…plot convenience! Yeah, trust plot convenience! And me being lazy in giving anything real reasoning, but most of the time I do have reasons! The reasons might be that it’s either funny, entertaining, or makes people sad. Boy do I like making people sad! And happy…it’s a coin flip really). Now, enough of my ADHD rambles, in summery, Mr. No Nose brought along the Big Bad Wolf for the ride.

And even with all that, he still didn’t kill the kid. Actually he died instead. Well, not really. To find out what actually happened to that ugly fucker you'll have to read Always A God Never An Angel sorry not sorry bbg its not you its me </3

And Harry Potter? Well, he was left with a nasty scar on his forehead and a werewolf bite, sobbing his eyes out, calling for his Mama, who lay dead on the floor next to him, her husband at arm's length.

A werewolf bite? Yes. I don't think I s-s-s-stuttered thank you very much. Harry Potter is a werewolf (read: An on the nose analogy) as of October 31st 1981 because...plot.

Does that mean REMUS LUPIN?????? I can hear your yelling from here! And also yes. And Mary. And, yes, of course reference to Wolfstar they're dating why would I write them out??? I'm not homophobic, I'm not just gonna say a characters gay because I need diversity and relevance, but I waited until all the books and movies were finished and there was no way to make it canon. Do you think my name is J.K Rowling???

Oh!!! And speaking of, a lot of things have changed from the story that you know, because why not, so please don't be shocked when things don't line up with "canon" :D

Happy Holidays friends! I'll see you all eventually 😘

-DH

Hi, very-gay-poet here!!! please ask me any questions you may have I'm so excited to share some of the things I've been working on and this is related to my pinned post if you wanna check it out!!! I'm not too sure on the title might just call it Spite Fic or To Be Petty but eh who knows. THANK YOU AND I LOVE YA'LL mwah mwah 💋

[suzukiblu]

Okay yeah, I wasn't sure about it at first but after actually reading it, The Parasite has me in a chokehold now. Of course Clark is beating himself up for a tragedy that he couldn't have known to try and prevent, and of course everyone else is beating themselves up for not thinking of mind control. How could anyone have known? And how would anyone think to consider a brain parasite of all things? Especially in a Kryptonian. His last brain scan wasn't even an unreasonably long time before the parasite took over, so they can't even say that they missed a checkup or anything (before it was too late anyways)

And Kon, if he actually did notice the mind control and the parasite actually did kill him, of course he'd be the one to see it. With mind control being as familiar of a concern as it is for him (being born with programming like that, even incomplete programming, would probably have you checking your thoughts and actions regularly) and it being CLARK, yeah it is very likely that he would be the first person to notice. Really hoping this isn't the case though, Clark is already in enough pain from the things the parasite did. Him and Kon don't deserve this.

In conclusion; good angst, great angst, I got so upset I got a headache (frequent occurrence when stressing out over angst. Brain don't like tension, which is unfortunate because thats one of my favourite things to read)

Thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I really love it and love all the hurting in it. But also I'm sorry about the headache, haha, oh god, I'm so sorry about the headache. 😅 I just want to make you cry, not get HEADACHES! That's not the kind of hurting I'm trying to cause!!

( also uhhhhh when I write more of this the angst is only gonna get WORSE so fair warning, keep your headache meds on tap for future installments )

I'm also really pleased the logic of why no one realized what was going on worked for you, I tried REAL hard to make it believable. Like, there's just situations you can't plan for and wouldn't notice! That's just a thing! Even with people you really care about and even if you're Lois Lane or freakin' BATMAN.

[yloiseconeillants]

16, 33 and 39 from the Ship Creative Process Asks, please! (Though feel encouraged and welcome to skip over any questions you're not feeling.)

Is there a relationship between characters in another setting that particularly inspired you? What is it about this portrayal that you enjoy?

MAN SO MANY. SO SO MANY. I'm like. A human being if it was constructed out of References to Media and Literature and all my ocs are the sum of every movie I've watched or every story I've read lmao. How to even pick ONE to talk about. Yloise would not exist as she is without the like, three episodes of the first season of Upstairs/Downstairs where it really looked like they were going to set up a Thing between the housemaids (Rose and Sarah, HMS Attic Lesbians).

I literally just put this in fic form but made them an elf and a catgirl. And it fucks.

To what degree is your OC a self-insert, particularly in terms of their relationship? Do you sometimes use your character's relationship to explore your own feelings about a canon character or another OC?

So now that I've established that most of my ocs are just amalgamations of Things I Like rather than like, projections of myself, it would still be entirely inaccurate to say that I don't like, put SOME parallels. There's definitely bits of my own relationships that pop up in small ways, but it's not anything where I'm trying to work out my Own Personal Feelings Through Fiction - it's more in minute details or silly situations I've been in that I wonder how my ocs would have responded in a similar situation. The things I enjoy in my own relationships in real life are not like, things I'm interested in exploring with my own fictional characters. As for the second question, I don't think that's anything I'm doing either? I think part of it is that I'm truly just more interested in my own OC's thoughts and feelings than in any canon characters. Regarding other ocs, again, I'm not my ocs and I don't find it difficult in the slightest to separate the way I feel about a character from the way my characters feel about someone.

What, if any, is your biggest source of fear or anxiety when it comes to writing or otherwise portraying romantic or sexual scenarios?

uhhhhh that someone is going to call me a selch-wife probably

As I'm mostly writing for myself and then. Occasionally sharing if the story is edited to the point where it can be shown to another Human Being without me wanting to bury myself in sand, I think what I'm mostly worried about is just keeping everyone's motivations in mind. Even if they're acting out, there's still like, an internal logic that I want to preserve, and I've ended up writing like 16 versions of the same scenario just because it started to drift from like, what the intent was.