#uhhhh has anything else major happened in my life

[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

8 days late to this party but love you guys sm 🥺🥺

Reblog if you’ve made amazing friends online and are grateful for their existence

[ofbloodandbullets]

So it’s recently come to my attention that not everyone in the world has actually watched The Old Guard (WHO KNEW?!) so I’m going to try and do some info dumps about the world, the general canon and Andy’s history, personality, powers etc.  This will ... probably get kinda lengthy. 

Also: MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS FOR COMICS & MOVIE.

The first thing you need to know is that for the main part, the history and the world that TOG takes place in is the exact same one as the real history of the world.  It’s set in modern day, though the plot points stretch back to 7k+ years ago.  It’s also important to note that there is a lot of historical inaccuracies and some things in canon that conflict themselves so it’s best to just take it all with a grain of salt and just go with what works best for your particular preferences etc. 

The main difference between reality and TOG is that in TOG there are a very minute like .00000000002% of the population that are immortals.  Now, it’s important to note that these people can die but they resurrect pretty close to immediately after they die no matter the amount of damage done.  Now it can take some time to fully heal or reform, depending on how extensive the trauma (being blown to bits or burned etc. will take longer to fix but there’s no amount of damage that we know of that can actually keep them dead).  

There are times when, for reasons unknown to the characters in character (or to us as readers  of the comics / viewers of the movie etc) that the immortality just stops.  There’ll just be a time that they suffer injuries that just don’t heal, and they die.  There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to this, be it age, number of times they’ve died, whatever.  Now, I have my own entirely headcanon and personal preference based theory which you can find HERE but it’s totally just a random idea that I had that I liked to explain the loss of Andy’s immortality in the movie (that doesn’t happen in the comics) and lets me say that she regains her immortality post canon so that I can nudge things back in the direction of the comics for post movie plots and so on.

Andy is, as far as we know, and as far as she knows, the oldest (human) immortal, coming in at around 7,000 years old.  She was born into a tribe, the Scythia (hence what she’s generally called: Andromache the Scythian).  A nomadic warrior tribe that I headcanon to be a matriarchy, Andy was betrayed by the ‘queen mother’ when she was sixteen and killed in battle because the leader feared that Andy posed a danger to her continuing rule.  This person was practically a mother to Andy and it was a horrific betrayal.  What was almost as shocking to Andy was the fact that she got back up again after being literally stabbed in the back and killed.

In the vein of trying to thwart prophecies making them happen, Andy killed the matriarch and took her placce ruling the tribe, eventually becoming a God King to her people and ruling over them for hundreds of years until her loneliness absolutely overwhelmed her and one day she just vanished.

At some point after this, she began to dream of a woman, feeling a pull towards this stranger that she couldn’t begin to explain.  After dozens, maybe hundreds of years, she managed to track down the woman in question (Noriko in the comics, Quynh in the movie) and realized that they’d been dreaming of each other.  (In the comics she meets Lykon before Quynh/Noriko, whom she had also been dreaming of).  

Now, the connection between these immortals isn’t explained in canon, and for a long time, Andy, Lykon, Noriko (and eventually Joe, Nicky, Book) thought they were the only ones but there is a scene in the second set of comics that implies that there are other ‘packs’ of immortals.  I headcanon that it’s a ‘like calls to like’ / kind of Sense8 simpatico type thing - like minded souls drawn to each other, which is why Andy and the others didn’t know about the other immortals, but again, that’s just entirely my thoughts on the matter. 

Lykon is the first to succumb to the loss of immortality, a short couple hundreds years after he and Andy find each other.   He dies on a battlefield, one that he and Quynh/Noriko and Andy fought on like a hundred/thousand before, champions for the abused etc.  Skip forward a couple hundred years again and enter Joe & Nicky, a Knight and a Muslim warrior who kill each other on the battlefield only to both wake up and spend (an unspecified amount of time) hunting and killing each other before eventually Andy & Quynh/Noriko find them.  In time, Joe & Nicky realize that they love each other.   (Important to note that Quynh/Noriko and Andy were also lovers).  In the movie, when the first major surge of witch hunts began, Quynh/Noriko and Andy go to help the women that stood accused, only to be captured and accused of witchcraft themselves.  After being hung, drowned, burned at the stake and coming back to life every time, the witch hunters settled on locking Quynh into an iron coffin and dropping her into the ocean.  (In the comics, Noriko is lost at sea during a massive storm that had thrown their ship entirely off course with Andy having no clue where they actually were at the time.) 

Joe & Nicky arrive in time to rescue Andy, but Noriko is already gone and despite spending decades tracking down every person even remotely involved in the so called ‘investigation’ into the women’s inquisition and punishment, Andy wasn’t able to find anything about where Quynh could be. 

Cue angst & depression & guilt for ages after.

The trio still steps in over the following decades, trying to help prevent the worst of atrocities, but Andy quickly begins to spiral into an, at best apathetic, at worst, entirely distant and withdrawn mindset and steadily begins to lose hope that they’re actually making any difference at all.

Skip ahead a century or two and enter Book; a Russian conscript who had been forced into the fight after being convicted of forgery.  Hung for desertion, Book spend days dying over and over again as he hung there, unable to attempt an escape until the troops finally packed up and moved on.   He and Andy, Nicky and Joe meet up and Book kinda reluctantly joins their little group.  It’s revealed that Book dreams, still, of Noriko/Quynh and while he can’t tell where hse is, dreams of her still dying, drowning on the floor of the ocean over and over and over like she had been for the last hundred or two years.  

Book returns at some point to his mortal family which ended in disaster when his last remaining son was dying of cancer, cursing and screaming at Book for ‘choosing not to save him’ by making him immortal too, even though it’s something Book had no ability to transfer or make happen.  Between his nightmares, losing his son and a number of other factors, Book decides he wants to end it all but no matter what he tries, doesn’t die and stay dead.

Eventually he’s approached by a pharmaceutical company that has figured out what he is and wants to run tests on him to see if they can unlock his healing / immortality for other people.  Merrick’s company works in league with an ex CIA agent whose wife died of a horrific terminal disease who hopes that they can find a way to keep anyone else from dying if they don’t have to.    Initially it was just supposed to be him, but he’d set up a display to stream for proof of what he was / they were and the corp decided they wanted all of the immortals.   Book ends up betraying the team, and he and the others end up locked up and tested on / killed / experimented on etc.  

There’s another character introduced in the meantime, the first new immortals in centuries, an American soldier named Niles.  There’s a lot more that goes on here, but the main point is that in the movie, Andy stops healing from her wounds shortly after she tracks down Nile and is put into incredible amounts of danger when Merrick (the leader of the pharmaceutical company) captures Andy, Joe, Book, Nicky.  Book is devastated, Nicky and Joe are furious, Andy’s just tired.

Eventually, Andy and the others break free with Niles’ help, destroy the lab they were originally held in etc and set out to try and hunt down any other proof, lab results, anything that Merrick got his hands on during the tests.

The group meets and settles on a hundred year exile for Booker (which I think is one of the stupidest things - like, the man’s clearly desperate and depressed and lonely and mentally unstable so by all means let’s isolate him for a fully century) and at the end of the movie we see him stumbling home to his apartment six months later to find Quynh standing in his apartment, pouring and drinking a glass of water which is a whole power move considering how many millions of times she died by drowning.

In the comics, Quynh/Noriko was driven entirely mad and to the point of wanting vengeance against Andy for abandoning her and spends a while gaslighting Andy and torturing her physically and emotionally and what not until she manages to isolate Andy from the other immortals and scoops in to ‘rescue’ Andy.  IDK what they’re going to adapt this to in the second movie, 

Again, via the link posted above, my Andy slowly begins to regain her immortality (again, IDK what they’re going to do with the next movie).  

Uhhhh yeah.  So I .. think that’s the majority of what you need to know for canon info about Andy.  THIS is also an important PSA regarding my Andy’s history & her longest lasting relationship that has nothing to do with canon at all but that is part of Andy’s bg in every verse, even if it never comes into play.

[jiminrings]

lover

pairing: jungkook x y/n

glimpse: jungkook has a crush and LOTS of vacant space on his ears upon seeing piercing artist!y/n, jin is TERRIFIED of needles and just needs to hold someone’s hand, jimin is a chatty receptionist that gets on jungkook’s nerves a whole ton, and tHen some smut :D 

wordcount: 22k

notes: dedicated to jungkook n his pretty earrings because i would totally go through his hoops like what vitaly did in madagascar 3 :D // gif isn’t mine!!

(*´꒳`*)

jungkook is a flexible man

both literally and figuratively

he knows how to adjust bUT he also knows what he wants

there’s a handful of things he gets picky about

body wash, face wash, shampoo, perfume n aLL THAT GOOD HYGIENE STUFF

he’s not jared, 19

he ISN’T a chad that just picks out deodorant with the most aggressive names they could ever find the quickest in a shelf

when jungkook gets shoes (and sometimes splurges on them) he makes sure to get the new stock and atleast a half-inch allowance

because shoes shrink and get worn-in overtime and the condition that you wore them in first, wON’T remain the same

hard drives are touchy issues too

jungkook needs to be able to save and export his works without the processes of it crashing every thirty seconds thank u very much

if ur buying a hard drive that has less than a 1 TB storage, then wHY even get a hard drive dummy

he can make dollar-store paint work, trust him

but god crusty-ass brushes (whether they’re expensive or not) would be the absolute BANE of his existence

on-hand activities were given less frequently in uni because majority of them were done digitally but he would never forget that time

that time when he cracked at the project on the night that it was given and he decided to sleep fORGETTING to wash his brushes and by the time he woke up, they were are all crusty and stiff

he almost cried

okay so after all

maybe jungkook might be picky

hE CAN’T HELP IT

but this time he felt more reasonable in being picky because this is his roommate that we’re talking about!!!

r o o m m a t e

for possibly the whole three and a half years that he has left before he graduates and he just wants his to be a good one :((

honestly can you blame him

jungkook just has two requirements in his head

pLEASE he doesn’t want a roomie that has quick hands and is a kleptomaniac and would steal the wallet he always just has laying around

he wants to be able to leave his things in the most random places at PEACE

and second, he wants someone that’s atleast tolerable

he’s aware that not every pair of roommates mesh well together 10/10 times but the least he could hope for is that there’s somehow mutual agreement

which is why jungkook’s nervous because oh god what if he’s stuck with a klepto that’s gonna steal his laptop and he isn’t even dONE doing his assignment?????

graphic design and fashion design are in the same building and that just means he has a 50% chance of being paired with someone that knows what he’s doing and knows when to back off

... which is cool, maybe???

but tHen there’s also a 50% chance that he’s gonna be roomies with a fashion student and he’s not gonna lie because that sounds sO cool!!!!!

legitimately cool

he knows nothing about sewing clothes??? or like designing them in more than just a graphic designer-type of approach????

that would be so nice

what if his roomie (he’s about 98% sure) has a sewing machine and some embroidery thread and things and stuff????

what if his roomie suddenly thought that “oh my gOD jungkook since you’re my roommate and ur so cool and u have such nice body proportions,, lemme make u some clothes!!” ???

what then

what tHEN

and he’s the type to impress and even though that makes him look like an utter fool, jungkook really did wake up at TWO in the morning to get started for meeting his roomie by ten in the morning

just eight hours,,, cool,,, that’s cool

who wouldn’t like chocolate truffles right???

vERY EASY

melt some chocolate!! add some butter!! some cream!! a tiny pinch of salt because the recipe said so!! aND THEN YOU’RE DONE

no not really

he didn’t take into account that chill was a very vague term and so jungkook kept opening the fridge every ten minutes and the chocolate truffle blob hasn’t cHILLED!!!

that kinda sent him into panic because how is he supposed to sleep now

he got a large bowl he never really used and lmao this is like the first time he’s washing it

HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT HE HAD THIS BOWL UNTIL NOW

placed that smaller bowl inside of the bowl

and tHEN filled the remaining spaces with ice cubes and tHEN put it into the freezer

not his smartest decision ever because uh there’s some raw chicken and beef in that same freezer but that’s cool it’s cool

roomie wouldn’t even know the difference :D

what you know wouldn’t hurt you, right???

well not until the chocolate gets contaminated with the raw meat somehow wOOF ://

jungkook went to take a one hour nap and he’s decided to just check on the truffle blob when he’s woken up!!!

uHhhh

aha that turned into a fOUR-hour nap :))))

he’s kinda panicking because oh god he could’ve made so much more in that time period

the truffle blob dID chill but it’s kinda frozen now and that makes it a little less easy to try and scoop up and shape and put cocoa powder on it

no worries!! he has a spoon and insane strength!!!

jungkook bent the spoon with how hard he’s going at it bUT that’s okay!!! there are more spoons!!! it’s not the end of the world

he’s done with the chocolate truffles and all that’s left is to let them chill in the fridge and he could just pop them out anytime

it’s 6... and all he has done are chocolate truffles....

aha wild idea but wHAT IF HIS NEW ROOMIE DOESN’T LIKE CHOCOLATE

...

....

it’s 10:13 and yeah sure this roomie of his is a little bit late but jungkook doesn’t mind at all because that meant more time for him to prepare

aside from the chocolate truffles, he’s successfuly bought/made/modified:

ice cream sandwiches in every flavor he could find because what if they don’t like chocolate?? or wait what if vanilla’s too plain for them?? ok wHAT IF THEY LIKE STRAWBERRY??? is that matcha-

cup noodles,,, in beef, seafood, and spicy variations

gummy bears!!! half are just the original ones and the oTHER half is what he soaked in vodka because uHhH what if the roomie likes alcohol as much as he does??? or maybe they just like citric acid in bear form or mAYBE even both???

dalgona because what if they aren’t an iced tea person,,, or an orange juice person,,,,, jungkook totally understands!!! the entirety of his right arm may be significantly more ripped by the end of this

mozzarella sticks that he buys in bulk whenever he goes to the grocery and that jungkook popped into the oven hurriedly because wAIT WAIT what if they’re lactose intolerant,,,,

cereals,,, he has some cereals,,,, maybe they haven’T had breakfast yet and they wanna have cereal??? he has some milk too!!!

some ice cubes leftover if u wanna pop them into the cereal if they’re feeling a lil spicy

god jungkook just wants to be liked sO BAD and he’s such a people-pleaser that it’s exhausting :(((

this better work or else he will literally combust and eat boozy gummy bears until he’s silly drunk :(((

but tHEN the front door opened and uh jungkook remembers locking it always but

oh

oH

that’s his roommate!!!! holding a duplicate key already!!!!! with bags on tow aND WOW!!!!!!

this guy MUST be a fashion student

jungkook didn’t wear an apron and he honestly salutes anyone who does which is why there may be some bits of cocoa powder on his chest that he’s wiping off quickly

“hEY man!! i’m jungkook!! jeon jungkook!! come in, come iN!!! was the traffic bad or-...”

wait

hold on just a second

how sure is jungkook that this guy with a really handsome face and wide-ass shoulders that’s like the same size of the doorway, is hIS roommate???

bruh

what if this was just a random-ass dude that happened to have a duplicate key aND HE’S HERE TO ROB HIM OR SOMETHING

“woah hEY i’m jin!! kim seokjin!! lmao yeah i live two floors down aND then i have all these bags and i just wanted to take one trip in the elevator but then in the same time i cAN’T and-“

oh

oH jin definitely just said too much words huh

right off the bat jin is rEALLY setting an impression huh

he got a good look at jungkook and he could tell that he looks younger than him

or maybe that’s just kook’s bambi eyes assessing jin that’s standing parallel to him right now

or maybe it’s some of the cocoa powder on his gray shirt and jin might assume that he’s a baby because he’s spilled some

“oh yEAH YEAH i prepared uh like a housewaeming thing for you!! well i mean this isn’t a house and it’s not your house bUT it isn’t mine either but in a tECHNICAL sense it’s — yEAH do u want chocolate truffles or something.....”

“oh jungkook you shouldn’t have!!! if it’s worth anything, i made this beret for my roommate and well it’s yOu right??? and i kinda sewed my initials at the back to commemorate like a friendship??? or something???? i don’t know man it sounds sO lame and-...”

bro

brO

jin’s eating literally everything that jungkook’s prepared and he heard the mention of the alcoholic gummy bears and his eyes almost pOP out of their sockets

for a moment, kook was kinda terrified because oh god are you cAMPUS POLICE????

turns out that jin loves alcohol AND gummy bears and he’s never tried that combination before

it’s like they’ve been friends for their whole entire life and conversation was just so easy to slip into

“how did you kNOW i eat this exact brand of mozzarella sticks??? they’re so good and you could even buy them in this hUge-ass box!!”

“how did you know that this beret would fit my hEAD?? i literally thought my head was too big for berets and this is like thE perfect size!!”

jin casually asks what they should eat for dinner later that night and jungkook dOESN’T skip a beat saying what he wants and jin dOESN’T hesitate either in agreeing

lmao jungkook started calling jin hyung not even 48 hours upon meeting him

“jungkoOooOoK :D so as you know, i’m gonna have a makeshift booth for my project, right? and like since your my very nice and kind and handsome and tALENTED best friend :D i was wondering if you could make the brand design for me? the logo? the layout of what i’m gonna put? this and that? say yes please pls :D”

...

....

“you cook all the meals for a week.”

“i already-...”

“obviously you’re gonna take all the credit bUT somewhere in your booth, there’s gonna be a piece there that’s inspired by mE.”

“okay fine what-...”

“if you get the highest mark and you bETTER, you need to check out my cart because-“

“oKAY DEAL!!”

it’s a two-way street okay

that just goes to say how far the both of them are bonding

in technical terms, their courses are kinda similar

and it’s just fun too because jungkook gets along with jin and the other way around!!

“jin-hyung i need a fRESH new background for this layout do you have any silk fabric??”

“do you want it sleek or do you want it crumpled?”

“can i try both??”

“yeah lmao i don’t see why not :D”

jin’s a nice roommate and an even better friend and hyung to jungkook and he can’t be thankful enough

it’s his personal goal in life to be the reason for jin’s first strand of grey hair and every morning jungkook cHECKS

sometimes he won’t be discreet at all

like he’d tug at jin’s hair and it’s freshly dyed and jin’s mighty sensitive because oh god what if it was freshly bleached??? tHEN WHAT

or maybe he’d toss a froot loop to his hair and he’d go :D hyungie lemme get that for you :D

“jin can u pls make me a bomber jacket :((“

“are you gonna pay me??? no??? well then NO”

“how about a bandana can you make me one can you make me one pLEASE”

“every piece of fabric could be literally a bandana if u think about it kook”

“how about a shirt that says ‘dad’ in the front but at the back it’s appa from avatar embroidered at the back lmao”

“why would you oH OMG I SEE WHAT U DID THERE :)))))) ok that sounds cool i’m proud i’m actually gonna do that :))) wait let me make one for me too :))))”

it’s a support system

even until him and jin graduated, they are sTILL roomies because that means not only do you pay half of the rent, you’re also not alone!!!

jin’s older and he may not voice this enough bUT he relies alot on jungkook as much as jungkook relies on him

jungkook’s the bug killer

he’s in charge of killing everything that’s crawling and slimey and has atleast made jin shudder once

he even has designated slippers for swatting spiders!!!! he’s used things from cereal boxes to his mousepad just going hard at these insects that bother jin

jungkook also has a higher pain tolerance

and he has this experience with these kind of things

and jin’s just scared shitless bUT

“please kook i nEED you to come with me to get my ears pierced :(((“

“but you already have your ears pierced.”

and that’s true

but it was just a standard piercing in the lobe that even babies have

“no i’m talking about a hELIX piercing!!!”

“oh you aRE???”

jungkook’s attention is fully caught now and he’s stopped working on the commission he’s handling as of the moment and right into jin who’s looking panicked

“i thought you said that you didn’t want it because it would hurt?”

he’s a bit frazzled because he remembers jin swearing that he’d go to his grave earlier rather than get his hard cartilage pierced

“well i changed my mind and i think it’s gonna look good on me :)))”

that bit’s actually true because jin didn’t order like five clip-on earrings after much thinking that he did LOVE how it looked on him

he contemplated for a moment that what if he just wears these clip-ons for the rest of his life y’know

but clip-ons hurt more than actual piercing like he sWEARS the blood flow to his ear stopped because the clasp was too tight and to loosen it means to lose it forever

and besides that, he’s LITERALLY allergic to fAKE things like these

huh guess he has actual taste with or without the allergic reaction to fake metal

of cOurse he’s gonna go to jungkook for moral support because the younger one has more piercings than him

jungkook has four piercings in total!! those two standard lobe piercings that even babies have, a second lobe piercing on his left ear, and his newest one!! — a mid-helix piercing on his right!!

he’s very-well aware that jin needs moral support and he’s a really sTURDY rock for his hyung that is more on the easy to get spooked side

and as much as this fuels his ego, he’s really hesitant to come with him because he’s jUst busy y’know??? and his latest commission is for this big online brand and he’s known to deliver right on time

he’s halfway through but the second half is really just as crucial as the first half because uHhhh jungkook’s dedicated and he’s getting paid and this is one of his jobs and this sustains his living

“i don’t know hyung.,.,.. when do you want to get it done?”

“well i was hoping nOW :D”

it’s 8 in the morning

eIGHT in the morning and jin could immediately see the bafflement in jungkook’s face so he quickly explains why because he just wants this so bad

“wait wait it’s because so i don’t chicken out!! it’s like nOW OR NEVER!! and the more time i spend thinking about it, then the mORE time i spend thinking about it. but i really dO wanna get this piercing and i just-...”

“i haven’t even had breakfast yet :((((“

oh

right jungkook’s coming with jin alright

it’s the line he pulls off when he’s convinced and of COURSE it’s hinting at jin to buy him breakfast to make his time worthwhile

jungkook’s a friend but he’s also an entrepeneur hA :D

besides him freelancing and picking up projects that require his skills of graphic design and making layouts,,,

he also has a lil online shop!!! he puts his works on bags and sticker and stuff and he is aLWAYS up for commission no matter how ridiculous it is

one day it could be someone asking him to draw them sketch-style with hearts around their head

or the other day it could be making a batch of twenty stickers and a print in a canvas bag, and very specifically, did it require to say

he’s being dead serious

really

lmao jungkook can’t stop laughing while he was designing this

HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW

now at first he really didn’t knOW if the person that sent this commission was being serious because uH are you sure???

but then they sent in 50% of the fee and jungkook was immediately oh okay yea dude i’ll do this for you lol

he’s highly sure that this yoongi guy isn’t the one who commissioned him because wHY would you clown yourself like that??

that one’s for the books surely

now jungkook doesn’t know if seokjin always gets his way (spoiler alert: he does) but within an hour, he’s all clean and changed into new clothes and he’s nOW standing with jin right in front of this shop

this uh really nice-looking tattoo and piercing place that looks great from the outside and he has to hand that one over

“...,.,.. so have you ever been here before??”

......

“....,.,.. well nO actually but i read that it has gREAT reviews and the staff is also cool and the interior’s pleasing too so yEAH yeah let’s get it!!”

wait it does look pleasing

it’s not the most spacious shop in the world but the floor plan makes the shop look bigger than it actually is!!! and the granite tiles by the front look cLASSY too!!!!

kook lets his eyes wander to where the granite tiles stop and meet the wooden flooring and he just can’t help thinking in his degree y’know

graphic design just rates to sO many things in real life and he did not spend four years to try and maximize his knowledge in it as much as he could

oh they aLSO have a front desk??? that’s-

“hi welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”

what

the

fuck

is that a greeting

wAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GREETING

jungkook’s trailing behind jin and he kinda scoffs at this dude in the front desk because what even

is that a part of the script

ok maybe jungkook just woke up in the wrong side of bed today bLAME HIM

jin, on the other hand, snorts at the greeting right away and it turns into a giggle and it pleasantly makes this receptionist do the same

the receptionist is this rEALLY fit guy with pink hair dressed in a white button-up and he looks pERKY AND CHATTY

a-and jungkook already hates him and he doesn’t know why bUT maybe it’s just because he isn’t amused whatsoever and he jus wants to come home immediately

oh right he even has that commission left to do and suddenly he’s feeling the time pressure

can they jUST speed this up

he’s here for moral support not for a chat with this pink-haired guy that doesn’t have a name tag and hOW can jungkook hate a guy that he doesn’t even know the name to ://

“walk-in?? no problem. you have six more people queued in front of you but not one of them has arrived sO yeah come with me!! what’s your name?? seokjin? jin??? okay come with me man!! lmao ur ᵍʳᵘᵐᵖʸ friend could come with too”

“i hEARD that.,..,”

“.,.,.. i know.”

jimin also finds jungkook irritating because he’s just being chirpy and this guy meets him for like two seconds and he’s already being a downer on his mood

he doesn’t even know his name!!!

although this jin guy is cool because obviously they r VIBING so hard

jimin’s leading the two of them to wherever jin’s gonna get his ear pierced and jungkook lags around behind to observe

this is a cool place!!!

to his left there’s a literal empty space with a rectangular podium in the middle of the area and it looks wEIRD ok

maybe a stall’s supposed to be there???

lol or maybe the tattoo artists do their tattoos there as if it’s a stage?????? oh god jungkook’s too fatigued for this he rEALLY needs to get glasses and get his eight hours in

to his right there’s some glass partitions with reclining chairs on them!!

and there’s some closed rooms to what jungkook can make out and he guesses that those are reserved for tattoos, maybe???

anyways he’s reading too much into this

he’s only moral support for a customer aND he’s not even gonna get anything done!!!

“you could just sit on this chair right here....,. lol and uh what’s his name.,.,. jungkook?? hmmm i’ll bring out a stool for you i guess...,.”

there are PLENTY of empty reclining chairs here why can’t jungkook just sit there????

jimin’s just being playful getting on jungkook’s nerves because he hasn’t been able to do that in a while with customers,,, because obviously they’re customers,,, and he doesn’t wanna jeopardize the shop rIGHT

“wait here, jin. we have two piercing artists in and i’m just gonna call them and y’know what you could just pICK who you want or like just pick the one who gets to your first!!”

okay

jimin’s a receptionist and he is fAIRLY new to this job but not to the other people working here

the usual script was to be formal and lead them to the artist or to the waiting area and formal just sounded SO boring

blame him for not being an uptight senior citizen

“one customer for an ear piercing!!! :D”

jimin’s head pops into hobi’s room where practically all of you are gathered when there’s no customers because the airconditioning is just sPLENDID

taehyung’s on his switch while he’s laid on your lap and you’re just on your phone from having scrolled in the same feed for like five times

“which one?”

you and tae ask at the same time and that’s when jimin kinda giggles and scratches at his nape as he stands around sheepishly

aha :D

“that’s the thing though i jUST told him to pick which one gets to do his piercing or... whatever....”

taehyung groans at that because oh god it was hobi who hired jimin and he’s told him off to nOt do that for a couple of times and here he is giggling like this isn’t the 35th time he’s put you and taehyung in this position and making the customer pick

“i’ll do it lmao don’t worry tae :))”

about time you do some actual work anyway

it’s not even lunchtime but you do wanna feel as if you’re productive because watching taehyung play animal crossing fRUSTRATES YOU

he whines a thank you because even though that meant more time for him to play, that also meant you deserting him and just have his head hit the cushions instead of your thighs :((

jimin’s walking with you as he leads you back to jin and there’s aLways a skip to his step and that is ur goal

ur goal is to be as happy as jimin in life because look at him!!!!

pink hair and cozy snug sweaters and dangling earrings and it doesn’t take much for him to laugh!!! what a trooper

the bell chimes and that’s his cue to jog over back to his spot and he just waves you over to go along like you cOULD walk over there by yourself

no problem!!! :D

uh-oh

it’s a problem

it’s really a problem

it’s a problem when the customer sat on the chair is so hot and cute and charming and hANDSOME

if angels do exist tHEN GOD HE MUST BE ONE

he looks so !!!!

WOW

he is actually so breathtaking are you sURE HE’S ACTUALLY REAL????

he has this long-ish hair that reminds you of taehyung’s but the only difference was that tae has a perm aND THIS GUY DOESN’T

and he has this cUTE nose that you wanna boop so bad and u saw him at the exact time that he was cheesing and he has this mole under his lip!!!!

ALSO

THE WAY HE’S SAT ON THE CHAIR

his arms are holding him up and he’s relaxed and oMG LOOK HIS EARRINGS ARE SO CUTE

they look heavy n they’re very flashy silver but oh god he could really really pull them off

you want those earrings aND YOU WANT THIS GUY

that’s cool y/n just breathe :D keep your cool :D you’re jUST gonna be stabbing his ears with some needles that’s all :D

“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”

jungkook’s beyond amused at jin who’s sitting on the chair at the other stall because lol he is so scared that he looks on the verge of crying

bUT he does feel sorry because no jin!!! the pain is just vERY quick and you’ll be done in no time!!

he wants to go to where jin’s at and actually sit on the stool that jimin provided for him but lmao no maybe later

he’s using it as a foot rest because he is really comfortable in this position and he’d rather not move until someone calls him out or something :))

or maybe when jin needs a hand to hold but like the piercing artist isn’t here yet so he has some time to lounge around hehe

“hyungie!!”

jungkook tries calling out just to take jin’s attention away from hyping himself about the pAIN he thinks he’s gonna be in

“what what?? whAt????”

“want me to deck the one who’s gonna be piercing you?? :D”

yAYYYYY jungkook’s got him to laugh!!

i mean he’s not actually gonna deck the piercing artist because uh that’s a lawsuit and second what the fUCk for

but it’s just this humor that jin thoroughly enjoys, especially now when he looks so near to tears

he gets teased anyway for looking out for jin even though he’s the younger of the friendship duo so why not joke about owning up to it??

“yA i’m serious!! i took up boxing for awhile and excuse you — my dad made me take up taekwondo when i was a kid!!”

“what are you gonna do? put the artist in a headlock??”

“...,.,. jin that’s mma,,..,.”

“lol you’re probably gonna be charged for traveling before you could land that kick”

“.,..,., jin that’s basketball and-..,..”

“maybe you could score a goal or something but jungkook that’s gonna be sO rare for you”

“.,.,. jin are you-...”

oh

OH

jungkook has probably never seen anyone so angelic he’s mid-laugh in and he sees you walking towards him and gOD ARE YOU REAL

maybe this isn’t a simulation you’re just that Perfect with the capital P :(((

“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”

oh god okay so this is where it goes down

“h-hi i’m jungkook!! i’m uH the friend of the one you’re gonna pierce today!!”

oh

you just wanna p-word right now

p for perish

you can nOT be embarrassed more

aha you’re just gonna detach from this situation as fast as possible because oh god you really looked like a FOOL in front of this really handsome guy :((

“hI i’m y/n and i assume you’re the one who’s gonna get pierced??”

if this guy isn’t it (and hE MUST be) then that means you’ve officially embarrassed yourself twice to tWO handsome men

the third time for yourself, the fourth for jimin who could be seeing this now, the fifth for maybe this random good ghost taehyung swears lingers by here, the sixth for-

“yEAH I’M JIN!!!! that’s me uh i’m sorry for jungkook,, jimin told him to sit by the stool and he didn’t wANt to and now we know wHY he should be sitting on the stool instead :D”

cue jungkook whose head is hung low while he’s sitting on the stool near you because god he also made a clown out of himself

it’s cool cool cool cool cool

“what piercing are you gonna get today? :))”

“mid-helix thank u vERY much :))”

jin’s pointing at his right ear and holding up his finger and that’s not exactly the mid-helix is but it’s ok ur gonna correct him later

he looks very nervous

you could literally see his fingers trembling and you just feel so sorry for him

jungkook can see that VERY clearly and so he’s just patting jin’s knee and you glance at him briefly and he’s looking RIGHT at you ahem

you hand jin a mirror and he yelps a bit when you lift your hand but you were jUST gonna wear gloves

kook doesn’t wanna laugh but in the same time he wants to laugh

“bro calm down y/n’s just putting on gloves!!!”

AND EVEN HIS VOICE SOUNDS GOOD :(((

you can’t shake off how how good your name rolled off from jungkook’s tongue and if ur being honest u feel kinda jittery

aha that’s my name :D omg what’s ur last name jungkook??? what a coincidence that’s gonna be mY last name too :D

chile

u nEED to calm down because otherwise you’d be as nervous as jin right now and you’re the one who’s gonna pierce him

lmao and you also met jungkook for the first time today so that’s a factor too you guess

“i’m just gonna be marking, okay?? does that look good to you?”

he calms down at that and takes a good look in the mirror and oOh that does look good!!!!

jin literally looks like he’s gonna faint

:O

“okay i only bust this out for a few customers,.,. and since you’re special and you deserve it and you look like you need it.,..”

that’s true tho

you have jin and jungkook’s attention fully and they’re peering at whatever you’re doing

you have this special box here in your cart and you’re hoping that you still have one of em aND

slime

it’s slime

bRAND-NEW SLIME

it’s the smooth matte type of slime and there’s a packet of like styrofoam beads you could mix into it!!!

technically this isn’t part of the payment but it’s ok yOU BOUGHT THIS YOURSELF!!!!!

specifically for the customers that you get that are terrified of needles or they’re so nervous and they don’t have anyone accompanying them

:O

jin’s very much speechless

:D

he takes the lil tub from you very excitedly and you’re just about to get the wipe and-

“here jungkook, you look like you wanted it too :))”

jungkook’s doe eyes grow mUCH bigger as you plop one on his lap and thank god because he would’ve wrestled with jin to have it

yo if he gets to marry you then he has to squeeze in you giving him slime at the first meeting into his vows somehow :’’’)

“y’know, i started working here about half a year ago!! i’m friends with the owners,” okay this bit is another one of your calming tricks

you’re pretending to get some stuff fixed and some things gathered but in reality,,, it takes about like ten seconds max to gather what you actually need

jin looks like he’s in the road to calming down anyways

“bUT i got my piercing license, i wanna say, a year and a half ago?? lmao funny story but i took training and certification out of a dARE and i took it with my uhhh friend :))”

wait what now

jin kinda looks concerned but in the same time he doesn’t because he’s in Zen mode rn

although you assure him that you DO take this very seriously and you’re fully certified and you passed through all the stages you needed to go through

“idk what jimin told you but i’m pretty sure he said something long huh”

“he said sLASH out loud.,.,”

“okay sO hobi, is the one who owns this shop!! it’s originally hope ink but tHEN taehyung owns another shop called vante studios and then rent’s expensive, right?”

“TOTALLY”

“I KNOW RIGHT????”

jin and jungkook can fully agree

jin’s been wanting to open a shop for sO long and jungkook’s been wanting to open a physical store for all his crafts but rent and decent space!!!! they r bitches

“they just decided to merge like two years ago!!! and it was for the better too!!! taehyung was my friend ever since uni and tHEN my course was graphic design-“

jungkook’s heart just flatlined jin was about to interject that oH kook here is also but nO JUNGKOOK BEATS HIM TO THAT

he squirms in his seat and even raises up his hand very eagerly and you look kinda alarmed

“me too me too!!!! i also studied graphic design!!!!”

“that’s sO COOL!!”

jin is enjoying this very much right now

if the two of you get married then he’s gotta have to add the they were vibing in the first meeting part to his best man speech

if he isn’t the best man then WHY is jungkook gonna get married in the first place :///

“i used to work at this company and boy was i overworked!! like i have so many things piled up but i just also don’t wanna half-ass the projects just to get through them quickly-“

“eXACTLY-“

“and so i quit :D”

that is quite the climax to your building story

that was very abrupt and frankly jin can’t get enough

which is perfect!!

because as he’s frustratedly asking you more questions while his hands blindly knead the slime and at one point he even stops, you’re already prepping up what you need

jungkook was also in the verge of frustration because you can’t just end it there :((

but then in his peripheral vision he could see what you were getting and it was a really good thing you already asked jin about his preferences and your professional opinion about this piercing

(if you were to ask him that now instead of earlier, it would be BACK to square one and you’d have to fish for another story in your head)

oh wow ur really good at this huh

kook has nothing but admiration and mad respect for you :3

he does his part on chatting up jin more and you internally praise him for that because look at that!!!! he knows what you’re doing!!!

you gesture for him to hold jin’s hands because you wouldn’t want to be distracted or have this hurt more than it should

piercings should be done in a quick and precise manner with no room for error on the artist’s end

and as for the customer, they literally need to stay still because hypertrophic scarring is a thing and you don’t want them to have that

jin’s story high is about to end because oH you’re standing near to him as he’s sat down and he’s starting to shut up because oh god oh god don’t look at the needle don’t look at the tHAT’S A BIG NEEDLE

“deep breath in for me, alright?”

you may have broken him and you haven’t even started yet

“jin? hmm? y’here with me?”

you found that saying your customer’s name helps to ease them and bring them down a bit and it works just as well with him

“do it with me and jungkook, okay?”

kook’s alert at that and you don’t even have to nudge him to do this with you

he even does it exaggeratedly to try and ease jin in the slightest and he even has him going along with him

ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ

“jIN YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB!!! :D”

:O

omg jin can’t believe it either

“iT’S OVER??”

well not technically yet because you have to put the earring in but the worst part was already over!!

you had to still jin for a second because he kept laughing and therefore he’s trembling just a tiny bit so you have to grip on his shoulders-

oh they’re wide wide

maybe if you hold them for a little longer you could envision how wide the doorframe is to the

“aHEM ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ’ˢ ᵉᵃʳʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

lol jungkook really isn’t as sly as he think he is you finally put the earring in and hand jin his mirror back and he’s gushing

from how pretty it is

sure his ear is red as fUck but even if it’s not fading out yet, it still looks so cute and he feels no ounce of regret whatsoever

he did a helix piercing it’s ok he’s SURE he could tackle on the world rn you’re just cleaning up the tiny bit of blood and jin doesn’t even notice

“if that’s all, i need to talk to you about aftercare!! okay so-“

no no no

wAIT jungkook forgot that piercing sessions lasted this quick he can’t have that

he’s only been with you for like tEN minutes maximum and no no he’s not taking that this is TOO quick

“NO UH ACTUALLY I-“

jin’s taken aback because why are u being so loud for

jimin’s ears even perk up at that and if he’s being honest, he even jumped up a little because wHY is jungkook like that

you’re alarmed too because uH wait did you do something wrong??? oh god is it-

“i also want a piercing...”

ok listen you were actually expecting to do more piercings on jin because normally people don’t come here for a single one bUT jin just wanted one

and well jungkook’s cute and kinda and nice and you feel so weird having only met him for like ten minutes and u hate how good and quick you are at your job :(((

because that means less time to interact with jungkook

“... done by you.”

you’re pretty sure you could ascend to heaven right here right now

:D

“okay yEAH no problem!!! i’ll uh,, i’ll just get set up and i could talk to the both of you about aftercare after i pierce your ears aha :D”

you toss the gloves quickly to the bin

you’re making sure to wash your hands eXTRA clean and extra slow so you could be thorough :)))

jungkook practically pushed jin out of the chair with your back turned to them because Y/N SAID IT’S MY TURN :P

now he knows he said that he only came here for moral support but maybe getting a few more piercings done by someone he may already have a crush on after two seconds, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, right??

he always wanted more piercings anyway

he didn’t think for it to have them now but he kNOWS he definitely wants them now

“what’re you thinking about??”

wait no he didn’t prepare for this gOD are you seeing right through him

and the fact that he has a pathetic lil crush on you

“well aCTUALLY that’s aha quite a hard question to ask because uhm yOU SEE-“

that’s IT jungkook is now the fool and he should be-

“the piercings that you’re gonna get, koo.”

not only do you look calm and collected

but you also called him KOO and jungkook now wants to change his name in his birth certificate because fUCK jungkook whoever that bitch is

hIS NAME IS KOO NOW!!!!

“y-yeah that’s what i’m trying to get at!!” he’s scratching the back of his head and tries to suppress the sheepish smile that’s just widening as the time ticks by

“dealer’s choice :))”

“d-dealer’s choice???”

this is not the first time that a customer gave you the reins to do what you please because they trust you enough to do so

but jungkook giving you that decision with no hesitation at all and he’s all giddy sitting on his chair staring right back at you.,...,

whoosh

speechless luv speechless

jin is too because he’s partly listening and partly taking pictures of his ear and his side profile so he’s just mumbling off to the side smh now these two are gonna play poker now??

“i uh personally think that both your sides are good sides and it’s true sO i was thinking of a second lobe and third lobe on your right ear!!”

oh no not you confessing that he looks immaculate on the first meeting :((

yIKES jungkook’s just blushing profusely as he nods along with his lips pursed because if they aren’t then he will sqUEAL

“because it’s gonna fit you just nicely and you already have this mid-helix on your right!! and by the looks of it, it’s jUST freshly-healed and i don’t wanna hurt you or anything with another cartilage instantly and !!!! is that okay with you?”

he is okay

definitely MORE than okay

somewhere along the lines when you were disinfecting his ear, taehyung’s strolling out because what’s taking you so long??

jimin only said that it was just for one customer and like a single helix piercing and that doesn’t take long at all

he wants someone to watch him play animal crossing because who eLSE is gonna get frustrated with him (and therefore motivate him to do better) playing it besides you

“there you are!! wHAT’S — oHhh do you need me to take over for you?”

tae cares for you very much

sometimes a little too much

but all in good reason!!!!

the moment you offered him a sip of your iced coffee you bought from the convenience store, he automatically knew that he wanted to protect you from the wORLD

if only you didn’t look at each other as really really close friends, 10/10 the two of you would probably be a couple now lmao

he always asks this question in that tone that sounds intimidating because

if his voice is deep he makes it even deeper bc that would scare off some people

some people being the occasional group of frat guys that come 

here to get pierced and they’re all lining up for YOU and not for taehyung

they r small-minded

not to mention creeps

and they’re trying to smooth-talk their way to you and you aren’t having it

and sO IS TAEHYUNG

and jimin

and hobi

and even the stray cat jimin lets in the shop from time to time because lil chimmy looks like he’s gonna claw this dude’s nose right OUT

(( this is why jimin’s scolded for giving the customer the choice when the scenario’s unnecessary))

lol taehyung took over for you and he stared down all these frat guys and got them done quickly and u know what he may or may not made it hurt aNYWAYS

jungkook isn’t that type though

you tHINK

you’d hate for him to receive taehyung’s sternness and so you’re quick to wave off tae with a smile

kook is kinda scared because uhhhh is this your boyfriend and uhhhh do you know how to patch me up because he looks like he’s about to wHOOP my ass :((

“no need, tae!!” his stance relaxes at that but he’s still wary, a knowing smile on your lips as you face jungkook who’s shying away from taehyung’s stare

“jungkook, this is taehyung — the one i was talking to you about!! my friend aND one of the two owners of this shop :D”

“heymannicetomeetyouimjungkook”

atleast tae shakes his hand back so that’s good in hindsight

he isn’t nervous about the piercing but he IS nervous with how jimin and taehyung are eyeing him because he’s deduced that they’re your friends and they think somEthing must be going on

pls he’s only met you now :((

but he wishes he’s met you sooner

you’re marking down on his ear and he catches a whiff of your perfume and it’s safe to say that he may be wHIPPED already

although tae caught him doing that and now jungkook’s just pretending to sniffle from a cold

even goes the extra mile to tell jin outloud that they should get vicks candies after this

he is not slick at A L L oh my god he does not have any game whatsoever and it makes taehyung laugh to himself for a moment because oh god

he’s seen frat boys get their rip-off calvin klein knickers in a twist but he hasn’t seen a customer like jungkook that has a cRUSH on you point-blank

oh ok :)))

jungkook sees a mischievous smile on taehyung’s face that’s directed for him and he does not like it at all

“something tells me that i don’t need to distract you with a chat like i did with your friend, hm?”

he hears you mumble under your breath when you lean in and he stifles a giggle at that because n-o he isn’t a scaredy cat like jin is

however

for this occasion he wishes that he has a weak heart because there’s absolutely NOTHING he wouldn’t give just to have that Jin Treatment

jungkook eagerly nods his head when you ask him if you’re ready and taehyung nearly doubles over in laughter because he didn’t know that this guy was tHIS desperate ok

ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ

“good job kook!!!! :D”

hehehe

he’s been told that atleast a hundred times before but coming from you??

he could ascend to heaven because it just makes him blush so mUCH and every miniscule thing u do or say to him?? enough for him to set himself on fire

that’s right :D i did a good job :D say that again pls :D

there’s just one more piercing left to do and he barely flinches

merely blinks and before he knows it,,,,

he’s done

like actually done this time

:((

taehyung pats him on the back because he’s there to brief him and jin with the aftercare

why can’t yOu do it????

oh that’s right jimin YELLED for you all across the shop so he could beckon you over to the front desk

jungkook’s pouting the whole time

ok yes i’ll disinfect this twice a day :((

ok yes sir i will go here if i feel like there’s something wrong with my piercing or if it’s showing any signs of allergies or infection

wait did u say i could go here..,.,,.

anyways he’s very gutted to know that he has to leave because he did come here in the first place to support jin

and here he is with two fresh piercings and blushing cheeks,,

just plain-out wondering when he could see you again

or probably the 70% chance that he’ll never do

he’s just standing behind you as you converse with jimin and while jin’s by the counter to pay for himself and jungkook (which then turned out that taehyung gave him a 50% discount overall because it’s like yO man i appreciate you and u feel like my hyung thank you) and he must look like an utter fool

jungkook has never been this nervous before

he’s been told that he visually looks intimidating as fUck but it all breaks when he smiles or giggles and basically stops scowling

jin teases him every single time whenever he wears these big romper stompers as he calls them and he has to say every time that nO he is not an e-boy :(((

he’s tucking his hands in his pockets because oh god oh god jimin’s giving him a look and then that prompts you to look at what he’s looking and he’s not prepared yet oKAY

he has no lines and no direction and-

“y/NNNNN aha!!”

lol he’s cute

it seems like your nervous jitters were passed to him because you very quickly got over them by distracting yourself

you know mAYBE you just find jungkook attractive and you don’t have a crush on him

that thing exists

he’s saying your name like it’s the eighth wonder of the world and honestly he feels like it is

“can i have the number?”

he asks upright and fuck that sounded so straightforward and too quick because if it wasn’t stressed enough, he just met you today!! t o d a y he doesn’t know at all that his voice sounded much like a squeal

or the fact that jin’s practically gAWKING at what jungkook just did but at the same time he looks like he’s a proud dad!!

or that jimin’s just snickering at the back and shaking his head at jungkook while clicking his tongue because lmao he knEw that this guy had a thing for you

he just didn’t know that he’d advance to you this painfully and awkwardly

jimin’s had a lot of awkward interactions with customers but nOT to this point that he looks like he’s gonna pass out

taehyung’s cupping his hand over his mouth because oof that wasn’t as smooth and jungkook thinks it is

it’s like waterslides but there’s not enough water in it so for the first half it’s all smooth but then at the second half it’s just dried out

and your back’s just skidding and hurting and you have to manually push yourself down the slide and now EVERYONE in the pool’s now looking at you awkwardly and then u decided that you want to sink into a blackhole

aha tae wonders who got that experience :D certainly not him :D

“o-oh the number for the shop i mean!!! piercings and stuff like that!!! a cALLING CARD IS WHAT I MEANT”

okay now jungkook reeled too far in

jin’s massaging his temples because the second-hand embarrassment is too much and he wants to make it clear that he is not affiliated with jeon jungkook OR whatever his name is

it’s like casting your fishing line to the water and you just feel this slight bite (but it’s probably just your wrist snapping) and all of a sudden you feel like it’s the biggest catch eVER in history

you’re wondering on the down-low of uhhhhhh lol why is it so light and it’s like i kNOW i’m powerful but why is it too easy for me

then turns out that it’s just a random piece of seaweed

lol definitely NOT jin :D of course not :D

you’re a bit bummed because honestly you really thought that jungkook would ask for your number

although you could just give it to him but you’re not tHAT daring on the first meeting

“calling card yeah sure :)))”

you outstretch your hand because the stack of calling cards are literally just on jimin’s desk and jungkook also failed to account for that

you hand it to him and jungkook’s just blinking rapidly because oH,,,, landline,,,, o-oh you really did just give him what he ASKED for

here’s the catch

jungkook’s a big dummy

HE MISSES YOU OKAY

it’s been a solid week ever since he and jin got piercings done

jin’s beyond happy with his piercing and he looks at himself in every reflective surface every single time because he’s just in LOVE with the new addition

he’s already dreaming of his next one and what earring he’d put in once this one’s all healed

doesn’t help that jin keeps mentioning you every single time either

or the fact that he is stiLL playing with the slime you’ve given him and kook’s conflicted whether he wants to steal it or throw it out of the window his piercings are all good :( he can peacefully sleep on his side now :(

normally that would be a good thing but now jungkook’s wondering if it’s wrong to hope that atleast there may be sOMETHING WRONG with it :(((

just so he could drop by the shop

speaking of the shop

he found the instagram account :D

not necessarily found because well the handle was in the calling card

ANYWAY

there’s a big following for it!!

he assumes that these tattoos are done by the hope guy and they look pretty awesome

there’s the piercings too!!!

that’s jin’s ear!! tHAT’S JUNGKOOK’S EAR!! :D

why is he so happy

he has no idea on which one of you runs this account and he’s a lil shit.,... that’s why he won’t slide into the shOp’s dms in hopes that you’re the one running it

what if he sends a cute message of “hey i miss u” and it turns out that it’s jIMIN who’s in charge of the acc

that’s a big L for kook

if jimin were to picture that situation, he would block and clown jungkook for life

he’s scrolled far enough to see a picture that isn’t of ink and reddened ears

it’s a picture of the staff!!!

you’re standing brightly in the middle with your arms around taehyung and *grunt* jimin while you’re the embodiment of :D

and jungkook’s smiling to himself in the dark because uh it might be late in the morning when he’s doing this

now there’s TWO other guys and he knows that one of them mUst be hoseok but he’s not exactly sure which one of these dudes because he doesn’t know what hobi looks like

he’s now on a roll because the other handles are tagged :D and well :D

jungkook isn’t a creepy guy ok

he’s just genuinely curious about you and he misses yOU who he’s only met for like less than an hour who was really gentle with him even if u poked a needle to his ear otherwise

now you’re not really thAt uptight with your feed because in your humble opinion

ahem

pictures with the same aggressively saturated/unsaturated filters going on and on are kinda very annoying for you because now every picture looks like the other and what’s the pOINT

there’s multiple pictures of the guys there!!!

taehyung looking sophisticated and intimidating and sOft at the same time that jungkook feels smol

ok ok maybe he should level his wardrobe game up a little bit

jimin looking very smiley and poised and kook huffs because he’s not the oNLY one who could pull off a cardigan smh ://

that’s IT he’s going to jin the first thing in the (normal waking hours of) morning and requesting (kINDA DEMANDING) that jin makes him a cardigan please

oh so that’s hoseok

he looks intimidating-ish and in the pictures he looks stOic but there is this one picture tho that he’s smiling and that makes jungkook smile too finally there’s you!!!

most pictures of you are taken either by a really nice camera OR a grainy film camera one

taehyung takes your pictures with his expensive-ass dslr aND his film cam and there’s just something about it that mwah 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒻’𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈

you don’t look ugly in them and u don’t hate the way you look in them and it’s just!!! wow!!! taehyung baby please develop these right nOW

jungkook’s sighed wistfully atleast twenty times now

damn he just wants to see you again is that tOO much to ask for he doesn’t know what time at all he goes to sleep but he knows for sure that he’s awake now

like awake AWAKE normally, jin just lets jungkook laze around and sleep away because he

too can attest to the fact that the both of them need sleep so much he only wakes him up when jungkook tells him the night before to wake him up at this certain time at aLL costs

..,... oh you mean *all* costs .,..,.

so far jin really enjoys all the things he’s came up with

he’s tried spraying jungkook with the same bottle that he uses for the plants repetitively until he wakes up

oooooh he’s also tried piling on froot loops on jungkook’s nose (his record’s twelve!!!) until the smell made jungkook sniff and thEn sneeze

you know that scene in how i met your mother when robin was drunk asleep then a baby wakes hEr up by crying then she just wakes up,,, dazed n confused,,, and goes to comforting the baby and turns out that it’s a sTRANGER’S baby??? yeah that one

jin made this alpaca plushie and it looks like him with the gentle smile and he named it RJ because what a cutie :((( you shall now be named RJ

and sO what he did was play a random crying baby loop on his phone and bURST into jungkook’s room

“jungkook the baby the baby’s cRYING”

and jungkook’s all groggy but then he yawns and stands up

“aisH ‘mkay heYYY bud calm down, hmm?? i’m-“

wait hOLD UP

jin still has that video on his phone to this day,, of jungkook cradling and even patting the back of a plushie with the hush noises,,,, until he eventually realizes that he is not the father

and most certainly that this is nOT a baby

but the thing is

jungkook didn’t ask jin to wake him up

his projects this week have all been completed last night

what is perhaps something so important this morning that jin is literally sHAKING him awake to the point that jungkook’s ducking underneath his hands because he thought it was an earthquake????

“you know? you know how we talk about us collaborating aLL the time?? the endless opportunities???? how you knOw i’ve been literally figuring this out in the majority of my spare time and-...”

jin’s talking so fast and that wakes up jungkook because whew slow down he is at the capacity of turbo the garden snail pre-nitrous oxide

“yeah sure online shops are cool!! we bOTH have our own!!! we work two jobs!! but we both know that we like it better oUR way right???”

no printer just fax

maybe it’s the stubbornness in jungkook but he just doesn’t like it when someone’s breathing down on his neck and making demands profusely even if that is what a job entails lol

jungkook’s just nodding because he feels that whatever jin has to say is important with how quick he’s talking and how big his eyes are

“what if i told you — jungkook are you rEADY to hear this-“

“yeah yeah whAt is it??”

“i mean it are you pREPARED to hear-“

“what wHAT??? now you’re just making me antsy!!”

jin’s trying to calm himself by pursing his lips and even his finger that’s raised is trembling

“what if i told you that i earned us an excellent aND affordable spot at a famous shop,,, the perfect placement and i know the owners and we could go there, right now, to finish settling and start setting?”

...

....

.....

“jin are you fucking sHITTING ME???”

oh my god

jungkook’s springing out of bed and is just jumping up and down with jin out of sheer joy because oMG

they’ve both wanted this for so long and kook feels like he is actually about to cry

“you wanna know something???”

“of cOURSE i wanna know something!!”

“hope ink?? vante studios?? remember when we got our ears pierced by y/n?? do you remember that platform thingy???”

yes yes i remember get to ur point jin

“i was so curious with it that i texted taehyung at 11 in the evening last night and i didn’t kNOW that he would reply,,, turns out that it was a space for rent and obviously i was like wHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???”

oh my god oh my god is this what jungkook thinks it is

“and then this morning, he gave me hoseok’s number and he said that we could head to the shop and discuss terms!!! he sounded sO excited too!!”

wait

does this mean

does this mean that he gets to see you again???

:O

“you’re telling me that i get to see y/N??”

you don’t know what the commotion is about

you’re a lil bit disoriented coming into the shop because you and jimin

went out for shots the night prior

you regret challenging him to a dare

now said jimin is here surprisingly early,, absolutely hammered because oh god he regrets taking you up for your dare

he thinks he’s being sly with his sunglasses on but he is positively wrong <3

you had to do a double-take because this was just weird

the shop should be open by now but the sign says that it’s closed

and something in the air feels weird and somehow..,. baby powder fresh??

hobi and tae are sitting on the waiting area discussing some things and they keep giggling every few seconds

“jimin what’s going on??”

you’re nudging him to move from his seat but he refused to yield so now ½ of your buttcheeks is sitting on his chair

“bro i don’t know aNYTHING”

thing is, yOU’RE the one who takes care of him when he’s drunk and forces him to drink water so he wouldn’t be as wrecked the next day

“shouldn’t receptionists know the gossip??”

“shouldn’t yOU be talking a little quieter??”

lol ok go off mr. jimin the receptionist

he’s already apologized for his quips and you know by now that whenever he’s grumpy and this rekt, he’s a bit more catty and has sensitive ears so now the two of you are just talking in whispers and jimin has his head rested on your shoulder :((

“i think someone’s finally renting the stage”

“really??”

you and jimin just call it “the stage” because the platform at the shop just looks so ominous and empty,, even if jimin doodles something on a sticky note and puts it at the center of the stage

hobi was the one who wanted it to be there!!!

right when he and tae decided to merge, he wanted a bigger space to accommodate this stage for future tenants

it’s a good business opportunity and easily profitable!!!

although no one’s rented it

maybe now’s the time!!!

jimin loves making assumptions lmao

his mind,,,, wow jimin’s mind just perplexes you

“i think it would be a waffle stand!!”

“jimin… why would someone put in a waffle stall… in a tattoo shop..,.,.”

“honestly why nOt?? some clients get tattooed for what, like five hours?? let’s say they’re hungry. do you tHink they’d bring a lunchbox with them??”

“you’re right.,..,. you’re absolutely right.”

before you and jimin could condense the options furthermore though, tae and hobi are already walking towards the two of you that are still whispering

they’re gonna announce something!!!!

tae’s trying to keep it together as hobi’s trailing it out with his speech and he’s taking tOO long

“someone’s gonna be renting out the stage!!!!”

he basically squeals and you and jimin nod to each other aha

he was aiming for perhaps a bIGGER reaction

“oh lmao we already guessed it ten minutes ago”

“but do you knOw what’s gonna be there??”

jimin immediately raises his hand begging for hobi to call him on to answer as he’s violently flailing around

“you know??? what is it then???”

“waffle stand :D”

the outright cackle hobi lets out is enough to send you meanwhile jimin’s pouting,, still confused before you urge him to take a seat

the two of them won’t tell you at all and then agreed to just keep it as a surprise until the tenants come

jimin’s literally at the edge of his seat as he lets you take ¾ of the chair because nOw he’s excited

the door chimes and you stand up at lightning pace that you forget jimin’s sTILL sitting there lmao

well he’s sitting.,.. just on the floor

you’re hurrying to pick him up and the moment you drag him up with you, you feel like yOU’RE the one who’s gonna fall sheesh

your knees are bUckling

“jungkook!!!!!”

jungkook’s happily waving at you and he forgets that the two of you aren’t close because he’s about to make his way to hug you

it looks like you’re the only who’s in shock

it’s starting to sink on why jungkook and jin are here and you immediately freak the moment it clicks in your head

“oh my god did something happen with your piercings?? let me-“

you’re in panic mode and you’re walking so fast towards jin and kook stops you before your heart could even explode

“no nO!! don’t worry!! didn’t they tell you?”

“tell me what??”

taehyung and hobi are grinning so hard and it’s only a matter of seconds before tae has his arm around your shoulder as he gestures to them

“they’re the tenants!!”

oh

OH

DOES THIS MEAN-

:O

“hihi nice to see you again, y/n!! look at my piercing it’s healing sO quickly!!”

jin is the first to put you in an embrace and you squeal when he does because omg he is a furnace

you’re pointing at his ear excitedly and he even babbles on how he wants more now and you instantly add on to that conversation

jungkook’s a bit uHhh because he wanted to greet and hug you fIRST!! 

although he does get his turn because jin turns his attention to hobi who he’s excited to meet

jungkook can’t help but to hug you a little bit tighter and mayhaps even sniff the scent of your perfume again !!!! omg he missed you so much everything’s going great

jin plus jungkook and taehyung plus hobi were able to agree on a deal within the day!! it was so easy and both parties are such delights

they’d get a partition done in the meantime so while you all get to work, jin and kook could have things done with it being a surprise factor for the patrons!!!!

their ideas already sound so good

you learned that jin studied fashion design and jungkook with the graphic design and how you’d even hear stories from them on how they saved each other’s asses so many times

their layout for their stall??? immaculate

jungkook’s fingers are itching to layout the floor plans and all these graphics because fuck he is ecstatic and he cAN’T hide it

you find his smile to be absolutely aDORABLE

that smile with his nose scrunched up and he looks like a bunny and how he laughs loudly and it’s actually contagious

you finally got to exchange numbers :D

kook was the one who texted first and it was out of the blue because he’s wasted all this time just thinkinG on how he’d approach you first

then he was designing prints to go on to the stall until his body dropped and with the energy he had left he went :]

what do you think :) about :) my designs :)

and then you REPLIED and he didn’t think that far ahead

you commended him for it and you realize that your way of designing is different from his but in the same time somehow alike???? yes synergy

“what more do you have left to do?? lol u should really go to sleep koo :D”

“just some more cards i guess?? like the ones with the ~opening sale!!!~ and things like that”

inch resting

you may be so whipped for jungkook that you may or may not have did those layouts yourself

hehe

:D

kook comes to the shop early on the morning so they could be hands-on with the set-up all that but he instantly gets energized the moment you come near him

he should’ve fixed himself up a little bit longer

it’s all clear that he looks fATIGUED and jimin keeps teasing him that he looks like triangle gimbap :(( and he wasn’t annoyed then but he is nOW because oh u might think of him like that too

you put a whole-ass hard drive on his palm and you could’ve just gave him a flAshdrive or sent him the files like a normal person would but he’s special ok

and the gears in his head are turning because oh my god what is iN this wHY are you giving me this and-

“opening sale,,, discounts,,,,, layouts you had left.,….,. y’know :))”

brO

bRO

jungkook’s so happy and he’s still in disbelief because you did that?? you really did THAT for him and you haven’t known him for like a week but you still did it??

this is such a big deal and he doesn’t know how he could express that he’s thankful for what you did besides

ᵐᵐᵖʰ

hugging you :((

oh god you’re really falling for jungkook qUICK

you don’t wanna say that you’re the type to get attached quickly but you aRE the type to get attached quickly :((

although you’ve only been in one (1) relationship before and it went for pretty long but you won’t get into that lol

taehyung knows this so well and mAYBE that he knows that for a brief time when you first met him, you did have a tiny crush on him but that dispersed quickly

it’s just this feeling in you that jumps up every now and then

that’s it tHAT’S the person

but then it isn’t that person

tae knows you enough and well,, he tries to interfere with your decisions from time to time because you get crushes and well sometimes they’re not crush material at all lmao

he knOws you have the hots for jungkook

but he’s not sure whether or not jungkook feels the same

://

he needs to keep his mind open ok

he doesn’t know jungkook that well but he does know that there are a LOT of guys like jungkook

that sounds pretty hypocritical of him but taehyung’s just that way hehe he just doesn’t speak his thoughts loudly

but he is THINKING

and he’s shutting up and he won’t go off on you yET of how maybe you should feel this one out with jungkook and try to analyze if it’s uhm a two-way thing y’know….

that you’re not the only one who’s getting attached….

it’s officially the opening for the shop and jin and jungkook couldn’t be happier

everyone’s having so much fun!!!!

they didn’t expect these many people and ph god the tears are definitely coming whew

it feels like everyone and everyone’s mother is at the shop and they’re all genuinely having a good time :D

there’s tONS of flowers and you all surprised the both of them with an additional blowout and wow it’s really endearing to try and digest

the people that came in for their tatts and piercings to be done?? they aLL went to the stall!!! their appointment isn’t due yet and they’re a bit early??omg why not go to that pretty shop WITHIN this shop???

they’re all done with their appointment and wanna buy a bomber jacket?? some stickers?? some prints within this frame?? that’s it they will go rIGHT now

vice versa too!!!

the people that initially came for jin and koo’s shop?? they were intrigued and went “lol why not let’s get a piErcing while we’re at it!!!”

business is booming

u gotta say that

satisfaction levels are off the roof

jimin is absolutely having THE time of his life because he gets to chat and he LOVES chatting!!! so much!!! omg who are u!! lemme talk to you about this pretty kitty i saw on my doorstep this morning :D

this whole time, jungkook is beaming and glowing and it makes your heart go whOosh

everytime he bumps into you or sees you in his peripheral vision? would absolutely waddle towards you and sling his arm around your waist and point to all the people in there as he giggles excitedly

whatever’s going on

whatever tHIS was

you’re loving it :(( you want more and it’s driving you crazy that you’re too chicken to make any moves towards jungkook and hE ALSO WON’T

you don’t wanna approach any of the guys either because adding them into this equation won’t make it any less confusing

hobi would just furrow his eyebrows at you because it’s ???? not that hard ???? just confront him and ask if he wants to take it to the next level with you ???? or like idk cONFESS ????

jimin would absolutely tattle and before you know it, you’re already in a reddit or quora thread because he too needs advice, before he himseLF gives advice

taehyung??

well you’re not exactly sure on how tae would react but u know that you’re scared to open up either way because you just aren’t prepared!!

“whatcha doing?? :D”

jungkook’s been awfully too enthralled and his eyes are literally less than an inch away from whatever it is that he’s holding

he’s slouching too and you distinctly remember seokjin getting these chairs with these backrests on them, specifically not for him to do so

he hasn’t been speaking for awhile now and nORMALLY you’d hear his voice every now and then even if you were back to your station or even in the break room

he’s just so fOcused and although that’s not necessarily a bad thing, he needs a break every now and then ok

here you are with a glass of iced tea you just made :)) only supposed to fix up a glass but then taehyung had glared and pouted you from across the room :)) so now you have made a pitcher and everyone’s happy :))

kook kinda jolts at that and it’s what reminds him to blink and tear his eyes away from what he’s holding, looking up at you and a fat tEAR drops from his eye

oh god did you make him Cry

lol no

jungkook’s just wiping it off because he hasn’t blinked in awhile and his eyes are beyond strained at this point

“i brought you-…”

did jungkook just-

oh

did he-

you were supposed to put the iced tea down on his table and you even brought a cOASTER for it

but then jungkook probably doesn’t think of that because he’s wordlessly put his hand on your tummy and sat you down

he’s sat you down.,..,. on him.,…

in technical terms

jungkook’s sitting with his legs slightly spread apart and you’re sat rIGHT at that remaining space

and mind you

this chair is not the biggest chair in history

nor is jungkook’s thighs small.,., hence him taking up the entirety of the chair and leaving a tiny space on it for you to sit

aND YOU KNOW THAT

and out of instinct did you think that you’re gonna fall off, you hoist yourself up and he even helps you out for it, going so far as to wrap his arm around your tummy once again and bring him up on his lap more securely

you’re now sITTING ON JUNGKOOK

although you’re not sure if he realizes this bit that much because he still seems genuinely preoccupied with what he’s doing

his chin’s propped up on your shoulder and his arms around yOU all while it looks like he’s stringing a thread through these beads before he decides to speak

“this mom came in today asking if we could make party favors for her kid’s birthday party,” he absentmindedly hums and for any other scenario would

you ask him to continue on

but now you’re in a PRESSING scenario

literally

your cheeks feel so hot right now and it’s worse than when you try those hiit workouts that straight out come from hell

“so fORTY kids, right? this seven-year old has so much friends?? anyway!! she wanted to have bracelets spelling the kids’ names bUt with these acrylic pendants — sounds good but a lil complicated, right?”

“rIGHT you’re right!!!! :)”

jungkook suddenly stomps his foot down as he huffs because this goddamn string just won’t get in this damn bean and u feel your sOul quiver

“aha let me get that for you!!!”

you’re flustered if it wasn’t that any mORE obvious but apparently, jungkook takes no notice at all because he just scrunches his nose in thanks when you take it from him

“but then, she said that she wanted one more thing to give away!! wanna guess?” he nuzzles further to your shoulder and by your neck and you swear that you’re absolutely dYING

you cock your head to the side the moment jungkook gets back the unfinished bracelet from you and he even nUDGES HIS NOSE TO YOUR

NECK

mhmmm

good food…. good fucking food…..

“matching little cream bERETS that have their name embroidered on them.”

jungkook snorts because hmmm isn’t that a bit too much?? is this kid 7 or 70

“and so yeah, okay, jin-hyung entertained the order and the beret part. and then we gave her a quote. and then she said that she needs it tWO days from now!!! T W O !!!”

the way he emphasizes is adorable but gOd the way he’s practically teasing you right now and pretending to not know about it at all is just sINFUL

“it was a rush order, and she said that she’d pay triple even bEFORE jin could say that she’d have to pay extra!!!” he wraps up on this particular bracelet then before tying it off, having to lean more so he could see better and in turn making you aDJUST

makes you screw your eyes shut because you’re positive that kook would be the death of you

“do you know how mANY variations the name kayleigh could have?? because i certainly dO”

jungkook snorts once more before he could even adjust the way he’s sitting but this time though it’s you who’s caught him off-guard

“this chair hmm???”

now listen

he’s had this scene play out in his head and yes he may or may not have planned for it

of cOurse he would take any chance that he gets to sit you down on his lap

HOWEVER

this one was purely innocent!!!

jungkook was so endeared with you preparing him iced tea and he was just so stressed with these bracelets and he wanted to show you them!!!! that’s all!!!!

but then the equation played out in his head that oh.,.., there is Not Enough Space for two people in this chair that is clearly built for one person only

and tHEN the realization came to him that oh you are INDEED sitting down on his lap and the way you’ve reversed this card is commendable

he swears you were flustered just awhile ago but nOw??? you’re full-out hinting him on this directly and not beating around the bush and oH god that just made him-

“y-yeah this chair, hmm?? what about it??”

jungkook’s the one that’s stuttering now and he unconsciously wraps his hands around your waist tightly as he chews on his bottom lip

your throat’s a bit dry but there’s just this sudden desire that’s popping into you and it automatically cuts our whatever awkward filter you have on

he feels you obviously grind on him in a clockwise motion and you’re playing it oFF so smoothly that he almost forgets that the two of you aREN’T exactly alone

“why don’t you show-

“are those bracelets??? omg”

hobi’s voice resonates from the distance and it automatically goes higher because he’s walking towards the booth in an eager pace

okay fUCK

you automatically yelp and jungkook squeals and before you know it, he’s standing up sO quick before he practically sits you down on his chair forcefully

jungkook’s legs are literally in a tWist as he’s standing behind the backrest and you have to grasp your cheeks to try n cool them down

“yeah!! aha it’s for this client omg but i have so many more to go through and it’s just really busy and all and so i-“

“lemme help!!! today’s a slow day for me anyways!! :D”

hobi’s walking in and he’s aiming for jin’s unoccupied chair that is literally just beside yours and kook is sCRAMBLING away oh god oh god someone’s gonna see this tENT in his fucking pants

“aha omg need to pee!!! y/n’s iced tea makes me wanna pee so badly aha she’s — IT’S so good omg just need to go the bathroom!! aha brb!!!!”

hobi is a little bit perplexed? but uh he doesn’t wanna delve into it that much

you’re shoving your face into your hands because that’s… the glass of iced tea…… it’s not even sipped from yet…..

it’s okay it’s cool

delayed gratification!!! yeah, that!!!! that applies to here, right????

right???

pls say right

it’s always been this flirty and touchy and affectionate atmosphere between the two of you

you were testing out on jumping in puddles basically :((

of course you don’t want jungkook to be this “friend” that you have frequent loving banter and sexual tension with aND is the type to sit you down on his lap and then completely ignore you as you stew in tension

.... of course not

do you know what to feel? not really

truthfully you aREN’T that strong-willed and you only become proactive when the case is absolutely necessary

you have a backbone in you it’s just not THAT strong

which is why you don’t know how you should treat jungkook’s sudden shift in emotions and the way he’s practically avoiding you

you don’t wanna push into him and force yourself over anything he isn’t ready with!! of course not

you don’t know whether you should be enraged because it’s hIM who’s sending mixed signals and right when you think you’re making progress, it’s always two steps back

you don’t know whether you shouldn’t think about it that much because maybe just mAybe it isn’t your loss!!!! jungkook just has a lot on his plate and you shouldn’t be bothered!!!

you DO know that you’re kinda sad 

because you’re just so clueless and no matter how tiny of a nudge (you wrote on a paper towel and slid it to him) or big of it (you wrote on a piece of tracing paper with jimin’s glitter pen) that you give him, he wouldn’t be open to you

atleast let you in just the tiniest bit

atleast tell you if you’ve done something wrong or if he needs anything from you

:(

is jungkook losing his shit?? 100% percent

here’s the dish

jungkook is a bIT of an asshole

to further explain, he’s just so mighty afraid of commitment while knowingly doing y’know.... things that you’d DO in a committed relationship

maybe afraid is not the word

it’s a mix of fear and uhhhh perhaps disinterest

:D jungkook is totally an asshole isn’t he :D

he’s had mORE than a fair share of experience lol that’s for sure

but perhaps his first real experience of an actual relationship was with ji-eun from uni

aha well it did initially start with one-night stands :)) and then eventually it became friends with benefits :))

then ji-eun addressed him as boyfriend one night to her friends and jungkook remembers stiffin up that night because uhhhhh??? oh do i have a girlfriend now

he didn’t ask and he didn’t complain

now ji-eun eXPECTED for him to roast her for it but??? he played along???

he’s noticed that ji-eun’s become more affectionate with him and tOuchy but it’s not for escalating things

she’s constantly texting him and inviting him out to eat and normally,,, after sex,,, the most jungkook could ever get was a gRANOLA BAR that she lets him steal when he’s sneaking out but uH you wanna eat lasagna??

he was just sO out of it because is this what being a boyfriend entails??? aha safe to say that he does NOT want a relationship ://

he tried out this boyfriend thing for a 7-day free trial and he immediately left and broke things up with ji-eun (she hates him now but she’s still pining over him)

(( whenever jungkook adds something to his stories, ji-eun goes hAM on those heart emojis ))

he’s just not into commitment

he wants the time and the freedom that most people get less of when they’re in a relationship

jungkook doesn’t get why these girls still get mad at him when he’s made it clear in the first place that he’s oNLY in it for the s-

yeah ok maybe he’s an eternal douche of a frat boy ://

he doesn’t want you to take it the wrong way though

bECAUSE HE LIKES YOU

HE’S SURE

OK MAYBE NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE

but he is sure of it to a degree :D

he just finds it as another ji-eun situation but this time he has more interest!!!

he’s actually thought that maybe being a boyfriend isn’t all that bad

however jungkook’s mind immediately started drifting to how maybe you aren’t a fan of him staying up in the early hours of morning, doing something he could’ve done mUCH earlier and then you’ll hate him or something

he doesn’t wanna go to brunch or wear matching clothes :////

he once came into the shop wearing a black button-up with a black shirt underneath and THEN jimin came in later but with just a black button-up with that he completely REFUTES the idea of relationships because lit rally everyone in the shop kept teasing him to jimin and he doesn’t even liKE jimin

“oh uHhH you wanna take it... slow?”

you’re blinking slowly at jungkook who’s standing in front of you and is looking a little... nonchalant??

nonchalant but in the same time he looks nervous

nervous sweats but he’s playing it off by running his hand through his hair and making these tired eyes at you

quick is he pulling this off oR does he look like an absolute ass

“yeah!! it’s just like uh y’know... casual. a casual, laid-back type of thing!!!”

you don’t know how you’re gonna process that

but you do wanna respect jungkook’s wishes no matter how much you feel it’s a bit tIMELY and insensitive

“o-oh!! casual.,,. slow!!! of course aha no problem :D”

you can’t help but connect the dots aha

he’s decided to tell you THIS right when you were being called by jimin to do a piercing and you have no time to spare

the week before, you remember getting him a drink even if he hasn’t asked for it

or five days before when jungkook materialized out of nowhere and put his hand around your waist before nuzzling his nose to your hair

*immediately spots you and squeezes you when he comes up to you from behind*

“i want a conch piercing!!!! not now tho but i want yOU to do it to me :D” 

*immediately dying*

“of course ggukie i’d literally want nOTHING more aha :D”

*immediately regretting making it sound that you are a goddamn sIMP*

or like two days before, you were all eating lunch and you were so full and a little bit sleepy that you rest your head on his shoulder

or maybe just yESTERDAY, jungkook’s sat you down on his lap and hobi interrupted whatever that was happening

and perhaps after that encounter

uh

you may have kissed him on the nose before going to your station

:((((

it’s okay

it’s tOtally ok lol

it’s not like you’ve been distracted the whole day or perhaps the days after that because you’re kept up with the thoughts that maybe jungkook isn’t into you as mUCH as you’re into him even though his actions say otherwise

nope :D

taehyung’s worrying at this point

lmao he knows that you don’t know that he kNOWS what’s going on

sure,, you and jungkook are sly but tae’s observant to the point that he’s memorized all these little quirks about you

he’s been your friend for the longest time!!! of cOurse he knows when something’s bothering you

he’s deduced that maybe jungkook broke your heart or something along those lines,, although he doesn’t assume that it was an actual relationship just yet because if it were, then you would totally tell him about it

... right??

there’s this distance thing going on in between the two of you and he’s tested it out a couple times to test his theory

first, the two of you aren’t iGNORING each other but all your interactions are either short-lived or dare he says,,,, casual n basic

he’s commanded jungkook a couple of times things like “the extra roll of receipt paper is in y/n’s station go get it” or-

“get me a pair of gloves from y/n’s cart”

“tae you already hAVE gloves in your cart”

“ok wHO is the owner and who is the tenant here?? or maybe you and y/n just fought and you’re sO SCARED OF-“

“jesus christ oKAY!!! i’ll get the gloves!!!!”

you look so dejected

taehyung pokes your cheeks and you just LET him

he bought you mac n cheese and spelled out “cheer up :-)” using the shells and you merely smiled at it before proceeding to bOW your head to the table and look distraught

he’s offered his ear as tribute because you haven’t done a rook piercing in awhile and you miss it but you just shake your head nO at him and :(((

and the thing is

you’re so tIRED about being hung-up with jungkook

usually you just shut down and you get back to your feet a week later and you’re all happy!!!

but no jungkook just had to be a pesky little shit in your head and decided to LIVE THERE RENT-FREE

“hiii welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”

jimin looks up from his phone because he was cLEARLY not trying to help organize some of the audits that hobi told him to lol

hmmmm now this customer does look interesting

he looks cOOL if jimin’s being very honest

he also wants his hair color fo sure and maybe if he just snapped a picture of it right now, this customer tOtally wouldn’t notice at all!! :D

he’s a very tall lad and is in this denim jacket and his HAIR

his hair’s a combination of dirty silver and ash grey and it’s all slicked back!!!

“oh uhhh i’m here for a piercing!! i don’t have an appointment.”

jimin nods at that and turns to him a logbook with the needed contact information and the sheet

kim namjoon

hmmmm

a walk-in customer?? a handsome one at that?? the fate of whose piercing artist would dO his piercing lying on his hands???

hee-hee

now normally jimin with his stereotypical secretary traits, he either knOws or assumes everyone’s business

he doesn’t know what happened to you and jungkook but he for sure knows that you need a pick-me up!!!

you need an appointment

a dick appointment mayhaps lol

usually jimin’s always scolded to how he’s letting the customers pick when unnecessary, and this is the PERFECT timing to correct that tendency

the P in park jimin also stands for Petty

“smoking hot dude for a piercing session with y/n please!!! :D”

he of course had to yell that outloud into jin and jungkook’s stall,,, one in which everyone’s there and you and jungkook are sitting at the opposite ends of the room

hobi shakes his head at that and jin instinctively oOOOOOOHs his way to but jungkook nudges his ribcage pretty fucking hArd and it wasn’t discrete at all

taehyung purses his lips because hmmmm.,.,.. jimin actually doing his job correctly.,..,.. that’s sus

“hot as in as hot as you?? oR hot as in he has the same hair color as what taehyung had back in uni and-”

“ʸᵒᵘ ᵖʳᵒᵐᶦˢᵉᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵃˡᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵘʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ˢᶜᵃˡᵖ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵇˡᵉᵃᶜʰ :⁽⁽”

tae pouts and grumbles at that because if he focuses hard enough, he could feel his scalp on fIRE

now you and jimin have always been jokingly flirty with each other

and neither of you take offense and shit bUT a certain jeon jungkook certainly does because he used to not care about both of your antics ok

he didn’t mind because well uH who in between the two of us actually gets to be that intimate with y/n???? me buddy mE

it’s not a competition tho and jimin finds kook to be weird because it looked like that everytime he has his hand around your shoulders or something

jungkook looks like he would bARK at him for doing so and ???? he’s weird

he’s brooding right now if it wasn’t obvious

because for the most part, this distance and casual thing was working for his side

but now that jimin’s escorting you back and you’re play flirting with him again,, he just can’t feel this certain twinge in his gut

he’s not jealous

he’s sure that this is everything but jealousy

he doesn’t get jealous ok

jealousy is just reserved for people who have feelings for someone and are in committed relationships :)

goddamn

jimin was right

you are nOT in cowboy boots nor are you in the matching chelsea boots jimin got you for your birthday but you are definitely shAking alright

“h-hi i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today :)) what’s, uh, what’s your name? :))”

the man in front of you raises his eyebrow but chuckles later on bc for second there he thought you were rEALLY straightforward and he’s used to be the one catching people off-guard

“namjoon. kim namjoon.”

he puts out his hand for you to shake and almost nO customer at all does that and so you’re internally squealing because omg :) wow :) namjoon you polite thing :)

you’re clearing your throat to break off because you swear namjoon looked like he was about to devour you whole with only his gAZE!!!!!

perhaps you were too enthralled into the stare that you don’t notice to how the guys are looking at the interaction while hiding behind this wall

someone’s getting TOO huffy to the point jin had to ask if this certain someone needed some allergy medicine

“what are you getting done today??”

“oh, about that! dealer’s choice, if you may. i trust you.”

did he just-

jungkook instantly scowls thay because excuse yOU denim jacket guy

tHAT’S HIS LINE

dealer’s choice!! that’s his line!!! that’s what he said to you and god does he need to trademark that line??? that’s what he pulled and that’s what anyone getting pierced by you that looks like they have a shot with you, sHOULDN’T pull

:((

you hum at that and you’re trying to keep your smile to yourself it’s all cool

“how do you sleep, by the way?”

jungkook’s eyes are widening twofold because WHAT is he hearing correctly???

he’s looking up at taehyung because he’s the other piercing artist here and he’s looking at jungkook weirdly because he looks so panicked

“that’s a legitimate question, jungkook.”

IT IS

because you’re figuring out if the plan in your head isn’t a good combination with how he sleeps and namjoon laughed at that

“by myself or with you?”

you choke on air at that and namjoon laughs once again as he mumbles that he was kidding before giving you an actual answer

you can’t look at him in the eye because you are still flustered that tHIS fine specimen is flirting with you

y o u

i mean there is no harm in this right.,.,.

jungkook said he didn’t want anything between the two of you anyway :D

“i’ll do your right ear for today. two upper helix and a tragus, how does that sound?” you wait for an answer before putting on your gloves and namjoon nods when you point them out, a sly smile on your face before marking

“you could come in anytime to have me do your left when you’re ready for it — i got you anyways; it’s on the house.”

this time it was hIS turn to be flustered but he keeps his cool, clenching his jaw when you mark him out

“do you need anything before we start? slime?? stress ball?? oOh this keychain i made???”

you proudly hold up this stuffed heart shaped keychain, one that you put in your belt loop because it went very well with your get-up to go to waste

jungkook has his eyes narrowed because he knows you’re innately irresistible but wHY the hell are you pulling out all the stops to emphasize that

taehyung meanwhile has a scowl on and if it was possible to sizzle then he’d be burnt barbecue by now

“no WE made that :///“

you’re cute,,,, namjoon really thinks so

“does your number belong to those options? it really shouldn’t.,.,. it should be a priority”

:)

aHEM

OKAY NO

jungkook has his eyebrows furrowed and at this rate he’d be getting wrinkles on his forehead

next best thing for him? taking his phone out his pocket and tHROWING it to the ground

it snapped everyone out of their trances

he pretended to be sheepish while getting it because aha :D omg how did my phone go there :D

his case is a heavy-duty one but that’s nOT in his worries rn

you proceed to pierce namjoon and it finished as soon as he came because lol piercings really don’t take that long at all

ended with him still paying tho as he insisted

even tipped you more eXPENSIVE than the rate of the piercings themselves and you even tried to give it back to him but namjoon,,, the man that he is,,, he is PERSISTENT

“best piercings i ever had,, besides :) i like the one who did it on me anyways :)”

“but namjoon you have nO piercings :)”

“exactly :)))”

now that tHAT’S done and you are now $$$ richer.,.,.

“jimin you fucker i kNOW what you did there”

the boy smiles brightly and giggles and you aren’t really mad at him because absolutely who in this world would have the heart to??

“i have no idea what you’re talking about”

that has got to be one of your most memorable interactions ever this week perhaps throughout your whole professional piercing career

and it tRULY made you smile and it’s one of the only things throughout this week that genuinely made you smile

yeth you may have scribbled your number very quickly on his palm before he left

you’re just about to pass out on the couch over to the break room because wHEW your heart is racing and you aren’t really exactly opposed to that

namjoon was such a dream and he was very polite too and he was fLIRTY but not the creepy kind

although the door to the break room suddenly swings open and you’re rattled

“jungkook.”

he obviously doesn’t look like he’s gonna greet you back because he looks stone-cold with his gaze set on you

you’re a little bit intimidated because what could he pOSSIBLY want after saying that he doesn’t want anything to do with you??

“you like him? hmmm??”

there it is

there’s this jealousy that’s raging off from him and currently he is fAR too in it to even acknowledge that he iS jealous

this makes you scoff for a moment before crossing your arms across your chest because really,,, is tHAT what it takes to give jungkook a wash of reality???

“m’better than him — whatever his name is.”

your throat is dry because jungkook’s taking these big strides towards you and god he’s just tOO intoxicating for you

even just hIS scent wants you to light yourself on fire because whew.,.,. if he was a drink then he’d be too hot and flammable

not that you’d drink him in or anything :D

“you don’t even kNOW him”

you’re just about to chew him off and before you could, your words get caught in your throat because jungkook dIPS down right at the exact moment

his lips hovering around your neck and testing little licks on it

you whimper because holy fUCK and jungkook takes that as invitation to bOldly kiss you right on your skin, trailing down towards your clavicle where the hem of your shirt meets

“don’t need to, baby.”

you’re sat on the middle of the couch with both his hands trapping you besides your head and he’s crouching down, just mERE mere centimeters from your lips

jungkook’s just staring you down and you audibly gasp because look at him!!! he’s so beautiful!!!!

wait you’re supposed to be mad at him :((

“mind if i have a taste?”

he whispers as soon as he breaks eye contact from you and you whine at that, feeling him suckling on your jaw as you clench

“why not?”

oh

okay

he knows what you’re playing at alright

just awhile ago you were a whimpering mess and noW that he was asking for permission to do something that’s more scandalous than him kissing your neck.,..

hmmmm

you’re being dismissive of him intentionally

just a last-minute plan that involved a shot at his ego and not to embarrass yourself further because after all aha :) not eVERYTHING is all forgiven

ok then :)

jungkook’s kneeled riGht in front of you and he has such a tight grip on your waist even if you know you won’t be going anywhere any time soon he’s licking to your folds with feather-like intensity

if you’re not gonna show any reaction, then atleast hE wouldn’t give everything to you

of course his underlying motive is to tease you and make you beg for it

but every now and then jungkook’s looking up at you and his nose is nudging you in the process but you sTILL won’t back down

did you just-

DID YOU JUST BRING OUT YOUR PHONE

you’re practically dying in the inside but you keep your reactions to yourself and your jaw clenched

in truth you’re just scrolling through your expenses through this month in your notes because it was the fIRST thing you could open in your phone ok

jungkook huffs so loudly because first of all wHERE did you get the audacity

fine then :D

he suddenly stops and that’s when you shoot him a sly look from behind your phone, feigning an irritated quirk of your brow

“you really won’t budge??”

before you could register his words tho you’re iMMEDIATELY moaning he’s eating you out toO good and it was just plain-out sinful with how he was able to make you come from that to this

“jungkoOK fuck-“

his thumb presses firm on your clit before quickly retracting it and that earns him another mewl and a tug on his hair

“that’s right… my name sounds better on your lips, yeah?”

your pure pleasure is consuming you wholly and before your eyes could shut again with how overwhelming the sensation is oH MY GOD is the door unlocked?????

there’s something to how your eyes widen towards that fact and to how jungkook quickly notices that hmmmm he dID leave the door unlocked something about it makes him even more passionate in devouring you and it makes you wanna tHROW yourself into oblivion because the fact that someone.,., someone could literally come in this room aNYtime given is enough to make you almost yell

“fuck fUCK jungkook i’m gonna-“

his lips are all red and puffy and even his cHIN is messy and it makes you moan because fuck it was impossible to how he still looks so dreamy!!!!

he makes no move to slow down as he squeezes at your exposed thighs, his dull fingernails scratching at you before he stares back up at you, nOt even lifting up his mouth from your core to speak

“not stopping you, baby.”

that alone throws you into bliss and you’re cumming sO hard that you feel like you’re gonna black out

jungkook’s lapping on your release as if he’s starved and still tastes you out through your orgasm

that… was an experience alright……

your eyes are fluttering because wow that drAined you

before you could even look for him, kook’s coming at you to clean you up :))

lol he found this face towel on the couch and he figures that it belongs to jimin but nOPE not anymore aha

he dampens it with the water available and he’s EXTRA careful with you because you r sensitive and fragile at the time being

he even wipes at your arms and your neck to cool you down!!!

jungkook’s biting down on his lap as he rests the towel meanwhile on your nape and there it is

that dreamY look on his eyes again that just makes your heart flutter :(( your nose nudges his and it makes him giggle the slightest before he leans down to kiss you

and it hits you that you haven’t even kissed jungkook in the lips eVER

although that doesn’t really happen.

just as you were about to pull him in, something must have snapped in jungkook because he suddenly retracts from you as if he’s got burned

he looks empty and lost, not even sparing you another look before he’s storming out of the break room

and you’re all alone 

again.

:(((

“you wanna tell me what happened with you know who?”

taehyung has HAD it okay

he’s trying to be as patient as he possibly could with you

he wishes that he could just read minds so tHAT way he won’t have to budge out the answer from you

because in his very humble opinion, this approach helps too!!!

you’re sad and distraught and he gets that!! he does!!

but maybe if you let him know what happened to you, then he could be sad WITH you

you were the one who taught him that :((

you were roommates in uni and he was so down in the dumps when he got this almost failing grade to the point that he’d take his frustrations out on you

and you very kindly put up with him but then he drew the line to when he blew raspberries to his palm when you made him dINNER!!!! and that’s when you yelled at him and told him to tell you on what the fUck is bothering him

so that way he won’t bottle it up and that way you could try to help and eliminate what it is because you’re also caught in the crossfire thank u very much

it’s his idea to take you out to this party and you’re not being your usual self in this one

and the way tae talked to you upfront made you look up from your drink that you still haven’t finished, a pout on your face

now ok taehyung wasn’t close to giving up on fishing the answers from you but you thOught he was because he was leaning back on his chair

you also really wanted to tell him what was happening too and so you did!! completely caught him off-guard when he stole your drink away from you and almost spit it out the moment you started telling him what was happening

“you didn’t have to open up with THAT y/n jeez you could’ve opened up your story with the start!!! not tHAT”

the somehow comic relief taehyung brings you puts a smile on your face because although you don’t voice it out often, you’re infinitely grateful to have tae

he is perhaps the most understanding and rational person in your life and he’s just so soft and supportive and quick-witted that

oh my god are you crying

you’re in the middle of telling the whole timeline when taehyung feels your head nudging at his shoulder and nOrmally he presses it down

but this time it felt different because well you were sobbing

and now you felt so heavy and there’s this unexplainable weight in your chest because god jungkook is just so fRUSTRATING!!!

he’s beyond angering and frustrating and he makes you want to launch yourself to the ground

“i-i don’t — tae it’s juSt god fuck aHhH!!!! h-he’s so-“

taehyung nods in agreement even though you couldn’t see him because your face is shoved into his chest and he’s rubbing soothing circles onto your back

“i know, baby :((“

he’s in disbelief too

jungkook is an ass and no matter how much taehyung wants to understand that he may have good n pure intentions, his execution is just so fucking horrible

there’s no in-between

either you wanna be committed or not!!!! that’s it!!!

this just wasn’t a netflix trial you could have for a month and when it hints to you that you’re gonna have to give a little bit more,, you immediately fLEE

or maybe it’s just taehyung trying to see the best and over-analyzing things that maybe,,,, maybe jungkook’s just… jungkook

there’s no changing him

he’s unhinged and does whatever he wants (would sometimes stop when reprimanded) and whatever repercussions that are brought out, his first instinct is to toss it aside instead of facing it head-on

you must’ve been lying on taehyung’s chest for atleast an hour because you realize that you aren’t crying anymore and the tears on your cheeks are dry :((

“d-do you want a punch?? i’m gonna go get a punch. four seasons?? we like that, right?? okAy i’m gonna get us some punch!!!”

that’s you for sure :))

you’re immediately bouncing up and clapping your hands pretending that you weren’t a sobbing mess just minutes ago

taehyung knows that you do whatever you need to cope so he just puts his thumbs up,,, even if he prefers pineapple more than four seasons but it’s okay,,.,. whatever you want :))

you needed that

tae was mumbling whatever he had in his mind while you were crying and you listened!!! you don’t know what part should you take from it but you dO know that somewhere along the lines, maybe he’s right

you just want some punch is that too much to ask :(( crying has left you dehydrated and water is the most preferred option but uh that shit is PLAIN

maybe this party isn’t so bad after allthe lights don’t give you a headache 

and you see the punch table rIGHT ahead of your path and oooh red cups aren’t the only cups available!!!! that’s so-

“Y/NNNNNNN!!!! look, look!!!! look at me!!!!!”

a voice shrieks from behind you and you immediately feel a pair of arms wrap around you

you’re kinda in panic because taehyung isn’t tHIS heavy and you look down on the arms wrapped around your middle and that’s-

jungkook?

the man in question comes to your view and it’s clear that he’s beyond intoxicated with his glassy eyes and the drunk blush on his cheeks

you took a two-day leave from work that taehyung gracefully granted you to avoid jungkook.,,. jungkook who’s standing right in front of you

“loooook!!! look at meEeeeeEe!!”

you’re rigid in your place because out of aLL the people you could possibly see in this party, why did it have to be him??? you’re okay with seeing yoo-

he’s pointing on his ear and he even waves his hand across your face and is that what he’s talking about??

it’s glimmering underneath the light and???

is that

is that a conch piercing???

you’re rendered breathless because it seems wrong to you…,. not criticizing it as a professional but rather, criticizing it as-

“i thought i was supposed to be the one to do that to you?”

jungkook’s blinking at that as if he’s digesting your questionmeanwhile 

your throat is tIGHTening and there’s this fresh wave of tears again because you’re literally quite reminded of him

wHEN HE’S IN FRONT OF YOU

and he’s still pointing at his ear before he’s using his other hand to something or someone behind you and you cAN’T bring yourself to care because-

“oHhh lisa did it on me!!”

taehyung arrives at the exact time you needed him to just hastily, frazzled because he’s trying to connect the fucking dOts on what’s happening

here is his five-second deduction

you’re tearing up and your bottom lip’s trembling which means you’re about to sOB

jungkook’s right in front of you and his right hand is pointing to his reddened ear

a) taehyung has never seen this conch piercing before

b) he would know because he’s one of the two piercing artists in the shop jungkook also works iN and he’d remember if he pierced him or not

c) it’s reddened and there’s some dried blood near the piercing which indicates that it was freshly-pierced

and jungkook’s other hand is pointing to this girl that’s sitting on this couch with a lamp beside her and she’s nOT wearing gloves and taehyung guess that she’s the one who pierced kook???

he’s not sure

although he’s sure that jungkook is fucking wASTED and you can’t bear whatever that’s happening

“can you go home by yourself?? or should i call hoseok to pick you up?? i’m uh, i’m gonna take jungkook home..,. are you sure you could take yourself home???”

you don’t need to be told twice because you’re bolting out of the house so qUICK

oh god you need to get out you nEED to

jungkook doesn’t remember sHIT

he’s drank himself stupid last night is what he’s certain about

there’s no explanation to how he even got home last night and the post-it notes on his console table doesn’t help in the slightest bit

“you’re stupid. - taehyung”

that dumps cold water on him because oh god what did he dO this time

he’s done enough stupid things in these rocky weeks alone!!! what did he do this time :(((

“taehyung told me how stupid you are. he’s right. you’re stupid. - jin”

jin too???

jungkook cusses himself underneath his breath because his head is kILLING him (rightfully so) and he’s about to run his hand through his hair when-

wait

wait a damn second

… he has a new piercing?

he’s immediately fumbling towards the floor-length mirror and he just then realizes that jin’s already went to work wITHOUT him and that puts the pressure on him even more

true enough, his conch is pierced and he’s racking his head on wHY does he have it until it all snaps in his head

lisa.,,..,.

it’s coming back to jungkook now

he remembers you taking two days off and those were the loneliest two days ever he’s ever had working in the shop

then by the end of day two he was such a mess that jin didn’t even know what to do with him

thus came to him via text that there was this hUGE party that’s about to be thrown and he honestly thought why not!!! :D

everything’s going wrong anyways lemme go to a party :))))

and then he bumped into lisa!!! his sorta fling back in uni that he may have dropped suddenly and here she is,,,,

she complimented him on his piercings and jungkook was confused because he already had them back in uni???? okay then thank you????

and he doesn’t know how he obtained this piercing but he’s sure that lisa was the one who did it on him

AND THEN HE SAW YOU

you were crying and he can’t remember wHY but then jungkook’s piercing stings again and it’s like his soul hates him too

because oh

right

lisa shouldn’t have been the one who did that on him

there’s a lot of things jungkook sHOULDN’T have done

god why is it only hitting him now

he’s took a shower as fast as he could and he may have been crying

while he was taking it but that’s not the point

the point that shocked most was you

in work

you actually came to work!!!

taehyung wasn’t able to reach you that night besides get a text from you that you arrived home safely and that’s about it

he thought you needed more time off considering what happened but you’re hERE now????

jin, who had a crash course on everything that’s happened between you and jungkook is also even MORE shocked and he keeps gasping every two seconds

hobi’s happy to see you back again and he welcomes you with a warm hug that you melt into :((

jimin on the other hand completely invades ur personal space in 0.01 seconds because he’s bounding towards you vERY happily

“i missed you!!! i missed you sO much!!! my two days were basically pOINTLESS without you!!!! i asked myself wHy am i still working here without you here-“

“jimin i hired you to work-“

“and i already know that this place is falling aPART without you here and if i leave??? then what???? so i decided against resigning and waiting for you to come back and then you cAME BACK!!!! :D”

he’s so giddy that you automatically become as giddy as he is, just letting him twirl you around while he still has you in a bear hug

jin has a sorry look on his face as he hugs you and you knOw that he knows :((

he’s mad disappointed in jungkook

you automatically know that there’s one person missing here and you’re slightly thankful for it

you just wanna work in peace and it seems that there’s kinda a big waiting list for you to get through and jimin’s calling them up at the moment to let them know that you,, the piercing artist they specifically requested for,, is back!!!

you’re not chirpy and that’s understandable

lol you’re in spain but the s is silent

this quiet you’re encasing yourself in leaves you along with your thoughts and your thoughts are the fUrthest thing away from quiet

it’s not just about the piercing, y’know?

it’s not that piece of jewelry on his ear and it’s not jUst about who pierced it on him

it’s about the sentiment and things that you can’t explain because you don’t wanna say the L word considering that jungkook doesn’t feel the same

and he probably never would

you think growth and suddenly it’s not!!!

you think jungkook wants something more as much as you do and then suddenly he leaves you!!!

you think you’re moving up steps but in reality you haven’t even left your initial one in the first place!!!

you’re so preoccupied with your thoughts that you managed to ignore jungkook who came in late and was beyond surprised and at the same time nERVOUS that you came in for work

although not to preoccupied to ignore that someone was plopping themself on the client’s chair in front of you

you can’t recognize them from their hair color but you dO recognize with how it’s oddly familiar with it’s shape

and then your eyes trail down and upon see only the eyes you’re immediately freaking out

“YOONGI!!!!!”

oh my god

it’s yOONGI!!!!!

your shriek practically leaves everyone in alert and even hobi who was in the tattoo room rush out mid-session to see what was going on

yoongs is more than happy with your reaction and he squeezes you even tighter than the embrace you’re giving him rn

….

….

jungkook doesn’t know if he is the only one here who is beyond lost but uhhhh not to be rude or anything

but who the fUCK is yoongi???

his heart sinks seeing you hug this unknown person and god he could do nothing but wish that it’s him on the receiving end

he’s immediately stalking towards jimin because after all, he iS the one who’s let this guy through

that’s right he did let yoongi go to you asap and it was a surprise for you too and he’s the only who knew that he was visiting :D

10/10 secret-keeping skills

jungkook has a cat-dog relationship with jimin but he’s putting that aside for now because he’s dESperately pawing at jimin’s arm to ask who tf is this yoongi

jimin’s shocked because he didn’t think jungkook would be literally begging him rn but okay,, he’ll give in since this kid looks like he’s gonna bawl

“ah!! yoongi-hyung!! haven’t seen him in awhile :D”

jimin answers and that doesn’t answer shit for jungkook but now that someone else said his name, it sounded familiar??

he can’t exactly put his finger on it but it just felt so distinct

“are they related or?”

he’s asking more because he’s prying for an answer and well jimin’s still watching your interaction unfold

ngl he’s enjoying not giving answers for awhile

but then again kook is shaking him slightly and he’s pleaded again to give the younger boy an answer

“lmao they’re exes, jungkook”

w hat

a prick of fear arises on him because him?? you?? relationship????

“… y-you mean yoongi’s y/n’s ex-boyfriend?”

he’s trying to take in this bit of information and he doesn’t know HOW

he doesn’t know how he should react nor can he explain this sinking feeling in his stomach

the fact that jimin is now speaking without being asked doesn’t help at aLL

“yup!! from what i know and what y/n told me, they were together for three years!!”

“tHREE YEARS???”

o-oh

jungkook’s eye is twitching and his breathing skips because wow

that’s nice

three years :)

that’s a small number, right?? you were in a committed relationship with someone for three years!!! and said someone is now your ex-boyfriend

and for sOME reason, you’re hugging him and the two of you are all good!!

there’s this fear in him again because he doesn’t want to entertain these thoughts, honestly

thoughts that maybe he’s a tad too late and that perhaps you’re back with your ex-boyfriend and you want nothing to do with him because compared to yoongi, jungkook is perhaps nothing!!! :D

“mhmm-hmm. broke up on good terms tho as u can see, they’re still cLOSE, yoongi went abroad and well,,, y’know”

you missed yoongi so much

well uh you don’t love each other like that anymore

it was bound to change anyway

him going abroad to pursue his dreams and you just wanting to stay

it was a mutual decision to break up but although the label wasn’t there anymore, the both of you still looked out for each other :)

lol he’s the reason anyways to why you’re in this job in the first place the both of you were drunk after a date (you watched a basketball game) and then came on the dare that hey.,.,. baby what if you get a piercing license or something

and originally you were supposed to be the only one who took it but then yoongi joined you :))

and some time later you took a break and then resumed and hence the piercing license :))

“c’mon. if i’m gonna get my helix pierced, then i should atleast get it done by my best girl, right?”

yoongi nudges you and it’s this playful aura with him again that makes you laugh

he never really was the one to make you cry or break your heart now that you think about it

kinda sad to think that no one was really at fault for the breakup :(( you and yoongi…. it just wasn’t gonna work

it makes you wary because there always seems to be a trend in your lovelife

the common denominator is that things don’t work out lmao

:((((( lmao :(((((

you’re done with his piercing in a blink and you still can’t stop thinking to how maybe you just aren’t cut out to be loved :((

that sounds so sad

it’s always the word almost for you and it’s exhausting!!!!

after your breakup with yoongi, you didn’t have a relationship after because uH you just didn’t want to

you just didn’t want another off-chance to spend perhaps the best years of your life and then have them move abroad to pursue what they want 

you were afraid to be hURT after yoongi

and somehow yoongi is now a timestamp in your life because there’s eras

there’s B.Y. (before yoongi) and A.Y. (after yoongi) lol

then jungkook came along and it’s this sudden shift in you that you were decided!!!

you are gonna love again and you tOTALLY are into jungkook :D

sike he’s just not into you

…or not?

jungkook’s rushing towards to where you and yoongi are sat and no one was able to register the situation even if everyone was on their toes watching

“do you have a basketball game tomorrow????”

he’s staring at yoongi like a madman and yoongi is so confused because what

“i said dO YOU HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROW???”

okay yoongi is dumbfounded

but then he repeats this madman’s words again for two more times and then it hits him

“how did you know?”

yoongi is laughing because how could this dude pOSSIBLY know about this

he’s taking out of his phone from his pocket so quick and then he’s taking out the case

AND THERE IT IS

that sticker

that sticker jungkook made aGES ago

HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW

fuck

he’s met you before!!!

he didn’t meet meet you but his point is that your paths have crossed before!!!!

the gears in your head are turning because how did jungkook know???? he doesn’t know yoongi and no one would know not unless-

“y-you? you’re the one who made that for me??”

ok this is clearly now a private moment and jimin is dragging yoongi back to where the rest of the guys are eavesdropping but mAybe it’s for the best that they leave altogether

jungkook nods and it feels like his head’a gonna fall off

you’ve got this done and customized for yoongi’s birthday back then and you never thought that a sane graphic designer would do it for you.,..,.

you could always do it but you were in a slump back then and for once, you wanted someone else to bring what you want to life

you thought it was a stupid idea to base yoongi off this vine for one of his presents

and you said to yourself that if the fIRST graphic designer i could get in contact with refuses to make it, then u r gonna scrap that idea

but then this graphic designer eagerly accepted your commission even offered a discount but you still paid him full-price with a tip

who kNEW that it was jungkook???

“i know i’m the most confusing and aNGERING human being ever and a sHITTY one too-“

it’s somehow coming back full circle and he’s only realizing now to how mUCH deeper this goes

“but you have no idea how much i want to hold your hand.”

jungkook has commitment issues he’s refused to address for quite some time now and it’s only now

god it’s only now that he has someone that genuinely makes him want to question this mentality of his

“i kept looking for reasons to nOt love you and it’s impossible because they make me love you more”

he’s tried hating to how you go and make tedious crafts like making stuffed keychains (the latest one is named mang and he’s a hORSE) or trying to channel that restless energy into anywhere you could get your hands on

tried to despise the way you yearn for affection and how you’d go so cranky as to give people quips when you don’t get your fix

tried to loathe the way you’re so understanding and nurturing and gOd he sounds like a real asshole

“it’s not being tied down if it’s with you”

jungkook is sure

he has nEVER been more sure

because god he feels like he doesn’t have to pretend to be anything he’s not when he’s with you

he dOESN’T mind adjusting and he doesn’t mind complying to what you could possible require of him

“and if it in a literal sense is, then i don’t mind at all”

jungkook has never wanted someone sO BAD ever in his life

and he couldn’t agree more that he is a total dummy and how he wants to repent a million times over even if it means to get shut down by you a million times more

“because it’s you.”

:D

he means that

he really does mean that

he’s a sensitive thing and it’s hitting him now to how much shit he’s made you go through and he wants to make up for it!!! pLS

“let me take you out on a date, please?”

oh god is he tearing up

is jeon jungkook tearing up in front of yOU

his arms are glued to his sides but the moment he meets your eyes he absolutely losEs it and goes leaping to hug you

maybe he shouldn’t have done that

maybe he should

but jungkook knows that he’s never felt more calm and complete and loved whenever he’s with you :(((

he’s hanging in there

maybe at the slightest nudge of your nose to his neck in his embrace

somewhere along the lines

somewhere along the lines to how the guys are over there peeking out of the break room and in an array of emotions.,..

jungkook’s fiNAlly hugging you

your hands behind your back

his hands holding yours

:))

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[anihacc]

This one is for my power hungry maniac, Ernaline

Is it possible to save someone from a life-ending situation? Yes, but it depends on the situation and her current capabilities. Is it possible to save someone's soul? No. The better option is just to eat it.

Depends on the situation.

"How would I describe myself? Hmmm... driven, determined, and goal focused. But I'll be honest, that's a light and fluffy description for me. I'll be blunt~ I'm a power hungry maniac who wants to consume every soul in existence to become the strongest being in all the multiverse, and NOTHING will stop me! But I am amazing at hiding that fact on the week days~"

She thinks of herself as a manhwa protagonist. Specifically an action protagonist, and the only manhwa protagonist who isn't an idiot.

Looming ominously in the fog

Fog, because she can loom ominously

She would rather take the train

Very. She simply chooses the route that rewards her the most and hurts her the least.

A strawberry shake- whatever they call those over there-

Tapping her arm and tapping her feet against the ground, getting faster the more irritated she is with how long things are taking.

She goes on long tangents about the thing she likes most, manhwa.

Books. Lots and lots of books and blankets and comfy things.

Crimson. It means her enemies are either hurt, or dead.

If it gives her more rewards, she could care less if something she says is a lie or not.

She hates being tied down by both people above her and people below her. Even if it's someone she "truly loves~" she won't marry.

Blood. Lots of blood. Oh! And a nice misty day in the forest.

Apples. It's the forbidden fruit after all. She doesn't care if something is forbidden. If she wants it, she'll take it. And that includes eating the apple

Uhhhh... fuck, I have no clue. Genocidal tendencies fall under butch, right?

Ghost type, Chandelure

Milk chocolate because it's sweet

The knight of swords reversed

She never gives up in anything she does.

She believes her insanity makes her better than everyone else.

She would read the book, as it would outline everything she ever goes through, and she can use that to grow stronger, seeing where different choices lead her until she eventually finds the path of greatest reward and least risk.

They are deceptively cute when they put on their shy act~

Move the singular person onto the track with the others, let the train do its magic, and eat their souls!

She desperately claws her way out of her situation, uncaring for if she lives or dies as she believes that EVERYTHING will happen eventually, including her coming back from death, even if she can't right in that moment

She seeks out her comfy blankets and books.

Ernaline is non-romantic, believing human relationships to be weaknesses, as you will lose them all eventually

She will actively slam the heads of people that show a romantic or sexual interest in her into the sidewalk

Genocide

"Will this hurt me more than it will reward me?"

She is considerate of others to the extent that, if it rewards her, it wouldn't hurt

They aren't an effective communicator, as their main communication style is violence

(I have never played those before, so I have no clue)

Lois lane from My adventures with superman, as girls who look like that are usually strong enough to survive apocalypses in manhwa

Cherry blossoms. Specifically the violence aspect, but the beauty is there too I guess

It was my friends character originally (Shout out to my artist friend, Alex!), I just did a major overhaul because the only description I was given was that she was a reaper.

All the meats

She eats souls and occasionally a soda or two. She'll eat food if offered.

Not really a spell, but her favorite magic is her soul stealing, as it weakens her target while strengthening her at the same time, making the gap wider and wider

She likes people who give her power for a trivial cost like massacring humanity. Of course the cost has to be proportional to the power or less

She answers for no one but herself. She lets the person that needs to answer do it for themselves.

DND Ask Meme but it's random questions I've asked other players apropos of nothing within the last 6 months

Does your PC believe it’s possible to save someone?

What does saving a person involve?

How would your PC describe themselves?

How do they perceive themselves?

What is your PC’s idle animation?

What weather does your PC prefer? Why?

So if your PC had a car what kind of car would it be

How decisive is your PC?

If your PC rolled through a McDonald’s what would they order 

How does your PC fidget?

How does your PC show affection?

If your PC had to set up a date, what would they plan for it?

What’s your PCs favorite color

How does your PC feel about white lies?

How does your PC feel about marriage? Weddings?

What scents do you associate with your PC? 

What are your PCs favorite fruits (not including gay people) 

Where would your PCs fall on the futch scale? 

What is your PC’s Pokemon Gym Leader type and Signature Pokemon?

What type of chocolate do they prefer? 

What tarot would your PC be? 

What is your PC’s #1 personality strength?

What is your PC’s #1 personality flaw? 

If your PC found a book that detailed their whole life, from birth to whatever death they’ll have, would they read it and why? 

What are your PC’s charm point(s)! 

How would your PC answer the trolley problem? 

When your PCs hit rock bottom, what do they do?  

When your PCs want comfort, what do they seek out? 

Please describe your PC’s romantic type 

How does your PC flirt? 

What’s your favorite part of playing your PC? 

How much does your PC think about their actions before they execute them? 

How considerate is your PC? 

Is your PC an effective communicator? What is their communication style? 

If your PC was a dating option in a farming simulator (a la harvest moon or stardew valley), what kind of items would they like? 

Your PC meets a trickster being whose face changes to the most beautiful face a person has ever seen. Whose face is your PC seeing? 

What flower represents your PC? 

How did you choose your PC’s name? 

What would your PC put on their pizza? 

What are your PC’s eating habits? 

Does your PC have a favorite spell, and if so, which? 

Who is your PC’s favorite NPC(s) and why?

When your PCs make decisions, who or what are they making those decisions on behalf of?

[vanillapie-80]

The Road to Recovery Chapter 4: Guilty Until Proven Otherwise

The trial begins

Ao3

In the Hero’s Forge, the Tribunal stood on a viewing deck in the middle that loomed over the group. “The Trollhunter on trial is standing in for James Lake Jr. who chose to go into the Darklands, allowing the release of Gunmar the Black. He has admitted responsibility for his actions. What do you say of the charges?” Usurna asked, her voice booming with authority as Steve was once again in a cage in mid-air.

“We’ll fight the charges!” Blinky declared, taking a few steps forward.

“Once convicted, the Trollhunter will be sentenced to exile in the Deep.” Usurna explained.

“What’s the Deep?” Toby asked the historian.

“A place of unknown madness. No one exactly knows what resides at the bottom of the Deep, since no troll has returned from it.” From a glance, Blinky could tell that his explanation had made Steve very uneasy.

“Well I’m not a troll so maybe I’ll be lucky.” The trollhunter suggested, hoping that such a difference would help him in the future.

“Shall we begin?” Usurna questioned.

“One moment, if you please.” Blinky before turning back to the group. “Before we continue this further, I must remind you all that we cannot fight these allegations.”

“You don’t think we know that?” Steve said. “We’re going through with this because you guys need the amulet to kill this Gunmar dude.”

“Right, then who is going to represent him?” Claire wondered.

“What about you Claire? Your mom is a councilwoman, maybe you learned some tricks from her.” Toby said, to which Claire only shook her head in response.

“I tend to avoid anything involving my mom’s work as much as I can, also I don’t think councilwomen are involved with court cases.”

“What about you Domzalski?” Steve asked.

“To be honest I’m practically on the same boat with Claire, unless you count watching true crime stuff with Darci and court drama shows with Nana as useful information,” Toby answered.

“Well, it is something. And who knows, maybe there might be similarities between human proceedings and troll proceedings.” Blinky stated as he patted Toby in the back as reassurance.

“And besides, some of that stuff of tv has to hold some truth.” Steve added, but Toby only gave them a doubtful look.

“Your time is up.” Usurna declared. “Have you made a decision on who will represent you?”

“Yeah we did. Domzalski is going to represent me” Steve said.

“Very well. The Tribunal will permit a short recess to allow Mr. Domzalski to prepare his case.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So can we all agree that this is going to be an absolute mess?” Toby asked as they were in the library.

“No doubt about it.” Claire remarked. “But remember, Steve’s life depends on this. You have to give your all.”

“I know, it’s not like I want him dead. But how are we going to prove to the Tribunal that Jim didn’t let Gunmar out?”Toby slides one of the books close to him from the table.

“Well, it’s pretty obvious that he’s guilty.” Claire leaned onto the wall and thought for a moment. “What exactly happens to those who plead guilty?”

“Usually they try to get the lowest sentence possible. But I don’t think it’ll work in this case, there’s no sign that there’s a lower sentence other than the Deep.”

“So that’s off the table.” Claire paced around the room while biting the edge of her finger. “What if.... We prove that someone else was planning to let Gunmar out.”

“I do not understand how that would help our case.” Blinky said.

“It doesn’t. But it might show the Tribunal how pointless this trial is. To show that Gunmar’s release would’ve been inevitable.” Claire explained, sprinting towards Blinky. “And for them to see the bigger picture. So they could focus on the real problem at hand.”

“It is a risky move. But it sounds like the best option.” Toby admitted.

“Very well, it seems like our course of action is very clear. Tobias will try to convince the Tribunal that this trial is pointless with me assisting him, while Claire and Aaarrrgghh will find evidence and root out Gunmar’s agent.” Blinky explained.

“Then we can’t waste any time.” Claire made her way to Aaarrrgghh and tugged one of his arms towards the library’s sentence. “Come on. Let’s go.”

The large troll followed the girl’s lead, waving his companion and wingman goodbye. “Find proof how?” He asked Claire as they walked through trollmarket.

She rubbed the back of her neck, hesitant to speak at first. “You were a general for Gunmar right? Did he have a preferred method for spying on his enemies?”

“Changelings.” Aaarrrgghh answered quickly.

“But aren’t they used to check up on the surface world?”

“Can work both ways.” Claire let the idea linger in her mind. It wouldn’t be impossible, just because changelings aren’t welcomed by trollmarket doesn’t mean that they can’t try to disguise themselves as a regular troll.

“Okay so let’s work with a hypothetical here.” She stated.

“Hyper-thet- tical?” Aaarrrgghh asked as he struggled to understand the word.

Claire gave him an understanding smile and explained. “It means exploring something that might happen even if you’re not sure if it’s true.” She clapped her hands together and began setting up the scene. “So hypothetically, a changeling was assigned to be a spy in trollmarket, a place where their kind is hated, to see if they can get to the bridge pieces to release Gunmar. What would they do?”

As they continued to walk, Aaarrrgghh saw the RotGut’s establishment from afar, and an idea sparked in his head. “Gaggletacks.” He pointed at the store to Claire, who gasped in response.

“Of course!” She exclaimed. “The only way for a changeling to be at risk of being found out in trollmarket is a gaggletack.”

“Changeling have to get rid of gaggletacks.” The large troll added.

“Exactly. This means that if someone bought a gaggletack, we might get some leads.” Claire and Aaarrrgghh began passing through the marketplaces to interrogate RotGut.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the trial was about to begin, Usurna looked displeased at the sight of Blinky being by Toby’s side. “Blinkious. As we have stated you cannot speak on the Trollhunter’s-“

“It’s okay!” Toby interrupted. “He’s going to be my co-counsel, so it’s all good.”

“And how do you plead?” Vendel asked.

“Not guilty.” The redhead said with a confident demeanor.

The Tribunal looked and muttered at each other, perplexed at the teen’s plea.

“So just to be sure.” Steve whispered to Toby. “You have a plan right?”

“Of course.” Toby remarked. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“…. Is it a good plan?”

Toby’s coincidence wavered for a moment but it wasn’t too noticeable. “Well it depends on how fast Claire and Aaarrrgghh can find evidence for our case.” “What?!” Steve exclaimed, trying his best not to raise his voice.

Toby quickly changed the subject, the last he wanted to do was cause more doubt for Steve. “Anyways. First order of business, I would like to request that Gatto is removed as a member of the Tribunal, at least for this trial.”

“And why would we do such a thing?” Bork asked.

“He and I have had a rather delicate history, which I’m afraid might bring his ability to be objective into question.” Toby explained.

"There have been too many delays for this trail as there is.” Usurna stated. “The Tribunal will proceed.”

“But my request is quite simple.” Toby persisted. “All you need to do is remove him from the courtroom. This trial is important, So I’m sure that none of you would want to mess this up, right?” The

Tribunal silently looked at each other. “And besides, the majority of the Tribunal will still be here even with Gatto gone and-“

“Enough.” Vendel interrupted. “You have made your point clear. And I, for one, do not see the issue of following the human’s request.”

“You can’t be serious.” Gatto objected.

“I agree with Vendel. I accept the request” The Quagawump Queen added. “Usurna, do you object to this request?”

Usurna stared at the chubby teen, her eyes narrowed, before saying, “I do not. Gatto, you may leave.”

Toby smiled brightly as he saw Gatto silently cursed at him before the pile of stones that shaped the troll’s face collapsed.

“State your grounds for your defense.” Usurna stated.

“Of course. We know that Jim went into the Darklands.” Steve gave Toby a bewildered expression as he listened to his classmate listing off all of Jim’s offenses. “We know we went in to save him, giving

Gunmar the opportunity to escape.” The redhead continued as he paced back and forth. “But who is to say that someone didn’t plan on doing it in the first place? That is the ground for my defendant. Woah!”

Suddenly the Tribunal began throwing rocks at Toby. “Hey, hey, hey! Easy there!” Toby ran behind Blinky as a cover.

“Uhhhh what’s with the rocks? “ Steve quickly asked Blinky as he also backed away to avoid the rocks hitting him as well.

“I’m afraid it’s a part of troll law.” The historian explained calmly.

Toby sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, as he vaguely remembered that being in one of the books Blinky gave him. “Of course it is.”

Toby hesitantly stretched his hand out away from the historian’s protection and took a sharp inhale as one of the rocks hit his arm and held back the action to yelp in pain.

“Bork’s rock wins. They will be heard first.” Usurna said as her fellow member stepped forward.

“I have a complaint. How does this make your defendant innocent if you admit he’s guilty for releasing Gunmar?”

“Well if someone was already planning to open Killahead bridge, then wouldn’t that mean Gunmar’s return was bound to happen no matter what the trollhunter did.” Toby explained, which seemed to satisfy Bork as she backed away. “So any other questions?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Claire and Aaarrrgghh made their way to the RotGot, and Claire was about to slam at the large door knocker before the large troll stopped her. “What’s wrong?”

“RotGut hard to get information out of.” Aaarrrgghh said. “Need plan.”

“Right, although I haven’t watched a lot of crime shows, there was one episode where two detectives played good cop and bad cop to a witness who wasn’t willing to talk. So maybe we should try that?”

Aaarrrgghh nodded at Claire with a gentle smile.

“Worth a try.” He said.

With excitement now bubbling inside her, Claire slammed the doorknob a few times and then cleared her throat. “Open up RotGut, or I’ll kick down this door!” Aaarrrgghh was caught off guard by how genuine her anger seemed, though he does faintly remember her mentioning once that she was into theater.

One of the speakeasies opened from the door to reveal Gut. “Ailment or curse?”

“Neither, you two-headed dirtbag! We need information.” Rot showed himself as he heard the teen’s yelling. “Gunmar’s got a mole down here, and you’re gonna tell us who it is!”

Rot and Gut looked at each other with confusion. “Why is she being so mean to us, Gut?”

Gut shrugged and looked at Claire. “We don’t share that kind of thing. Salesman-client confidentiality.” He reasoned.

“Oh, so you wanna obstruct official trollhunting business?!” Claire retorted. “Is that what you want to do- huh?!”

Aaarrrgghh suddenly grabbed Claire with both his arms and set her aside out of the trolls’ view. “Take breather.”

She groaned in frustration. “Fine.”

“Whelps.” Aaarrrgghh remarked. “Information important, help save trollhunter’s life.”

“Will it make the small human stop yelling at us?” The large troll nodded at the orange salestroll. “Well…. I don’t know from Gunmar, but there was a guy.”

“It’s Krax, you imbecile.” Gut interjected.

“Yes Krax. He brought out our entire stock of gaggletacks.”

“That’s definitely suspicious.” Claire muttered. “Do you guys have Krax’s address?”

“Uhh sure, give us a moment.” The two trolls looked at the teen, perplexed at the sudden change in mood from Claire, before going around their shop to find the address.

“Good job.” Aaarrrgghh patted the teen by the head.

“Thanks. You know we make a good team.” Claire smiled as she put her hand on her hips. “Let’s hope that Toby and Blinky are as good as we are.”

RotGut returned and gave them a small piece of paper through the speakeasy. “Here’s the address.”

“Thank you.” Claire grabbed the piece of paper and the two walked away from the shop. “We got our first lead. Now let’s if this Krax guy is a changeling, or a troll who just really likes gaggletacks for reason.”

The teen passed the address to Aaarrrgghh for him to see. “Do you think you can find Krax’s house? I don’t know how addresses work here.”

The large troll squinted at the small writing for a few seconds, before looking back at Claire and giving her a thumbs up. Claire’s smile grew brighter and followed Aaarrrgghh’s lead as they walked through Trollmarket in search of Krax’s home.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Isn’t it true that you’ve been to the Darklands?” Toby asked NotEnrique as his witness, dangling a dirty sock to keep the changeling’s attention. “Isn’t it further true that you knew Gunmar was trying to get out of the Darklands on his own, and he probably would’ve gotten out eventually anyway even if we hadn’t gone in to save Jim?”

A rock then hit Toby from the back of his head by the Quagwump Queen.“Sounds like you are the one testifying.”

He looked at the Tribunal, wincing as he rubbed on the dull pain on the back of his neck. “Easy. ‘M trying to be thorough with my questions here, alright?.” Toby explained and turned back to NotEnrique. “So?”

The changeling shrugged carelessly. “Well… Jim’s a good guy. You know, for a human. While he was in the Darklands, he saved me familiar. A pretty cute kid.”

Toby leaned his arm on the slab to where NotEnrique sat. “So to you, Jim is a hero?”

The changeling casually rested his face on his hand. “Yeah, he’s a hero. I mean, if he wasn’t, you guys wouldn’t have gone into-” NotEnrique was then interrupted with Toby quickly shoving the dirty sock in his mouth.

“That’s quite enough.” Toby nervously remarked, trying to get the message across for NotEnrique to stop talking without actually saying.

“No. I think the witness should be allowed to finish.” Bork said.

“Oh no.” Steve whispered. Claire and Aaarrrgghh hadn’t come back yet, so they were practically grasping straws at the moment for any kind of evidence they had, if you could even call it that. He crouched down at Blinky’s direction and tried to get his attention. “Blinky.” The historian looked up at the sound of the blonde teen’s quiet voice. “Can’t I do anything to stop this.”

“Hmm, well you could stand as a witness. However, I’m not sure if it’s even possible as-“

“Good enough for me.” Steve said.

“I beg your pardon?” Blinky watched as Steve stood up and took a few steps toward the front of the cage. “Hey! How about we skip the dramatics and let me speak for myself? Or for Lake, I guess.”

“What are you doing?’ Toby asked as he approached Steve’s cage.

“Trying to make this less bad than it is.” He answered.

“But you can’t-“

“The accused cannot testify for himself, it’s against Troll Law.” Quagwump Queen explained.

“Yeah, what she said.” Toby remarked.

“I say let him speak.” Vendel said as he stood up and looked at Steve, his expression unreadable for the blonde teen. “Go on trollhunter.”

“Right…” Steve struggled to find the right words. Now that his plan was in motion, he realized now that he really didn’t know what to say.

“Come on. Think for once.” The blonde teen thought.

“Okay, um… look I’m probably the last person Lake would want to speak for him. But it looks like to me that all of you guys are really pissed at him for making a choice, a bad one at that. But so what, even good people can make mistakes. And while he’s not here, I’m sure he would admit that what he did was wrong. And come on, don’t tell me that none of you haven’t made a bad choice in your life.”

None of the Tribunal reacted except for the Quagawump Queen, who Steve managed to see her raise her before putting it back when she saw that the others weren’t doing the same. “But in the end, Lake is a good person and just did what he thought was right. And who knows maybe he would do it again but-”

The Tribunal all gasped in shock.

“An admission!

“He would do it again?”

“It seems like we have our proof. Let us all rule.” Usurna said.

Steve stood still for a few seconds, his mind trying to keep up with what just happened. “What?!” He saw the Tribunal beginning to leave. “Hey! I wasn’t done talking!”

“You have said quite enough.”Usurna remarked. “Now if you’ll-”

“Oh shut up!” The Tribunal quickly turned around, stunned at the trollhunter.

Frustration began to rise from Steve, he was tired and was just about done with the tribunal. “You guys talk about punishment for what happened to Gunmar because I don’t know about you, but getting your ass beaten by the person you let out and fighting for your life in the hospital sounds like punishment for me.” The blonde teen said as he gritted through his teeth.

Steve glanced down at Toby, his eyes filled with panic and disbelief, but as guilt began building up, he looked away. The trollhunter didn’t care if he was making it worse for him, deep down Steve knew that they were going to make him guilty no matter what, so who cares with what he has to say right? The blonde teen was a dead man walking at this point. “You all act high and mighty when in fact none of you seem smart enough to have your priorities straight.”

The anger the Tribunal had for Steve could be felt, but for Usurna she was more than angry, she was outraged by the trollhunter’s words.

“Are you done?” Ursuna asked with a venomous voice.

“Yeah. I said all that I needed to say.”

As the Tribunal left to make their ruling, Toby opened his mouth to speak but not a single word came out. The redhead staggered as the dread of what might happen next infested in his thoughts that it made him sick.

“Tobias?” Blinky placed his hand on the teen’s shoulder, but Toby pulled away from it.

“I… I need to find Claire and Aaarrrgghh.” He muttered under his breath. “I- I have to….” Toby couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence and ran out of the Hero’s Forge.

Steve leaned back on the cage and slid down. As the moments went by, he could still feel Blinky’s presence. “Why are you still here?

“I don’t think I quite follow.”

The trollhunter felt his throat tighten. “I mean the trial is basically over and there’s no one here, even the changeling left.”

“NotEnrique has somewhere to be, keeping watch I believe he said. But for me, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Technically I’m supposed to be your mentor, so you are my responsibility till the day you reach your last breath”. He explained, still sounding calm with no hints of being angry at Steve at all.

The blonde teen could only stay silent, blinking as he tried to wrap his mind around the troll’s words. “You know it was quite brave of you to speak of the Tribunal like. Not even the bravest of trolls would do such a thing.”

“Or stupid. I don’t think calling out trolls who are important figures in your culture was a good idea.”

“Well, some of the members of the Tribunal were not on good terms with master Jim even before this whole mess began, so don’t feel discouraged.” While what Blinky said didn’t necessarily make Steve feel any better, but at least he knew nothing would please the Tribunal as long as a human holds the mantle of trollhunter.

“Look, I know you’re trying to make me feel better or whatever, but you’re wasting your time. Don’t see how I can be in a better mood when I’m as good as dead now. So just do something better than being here, please.” Blinky stared at the trollhunter. The lack of emotional connection he had with Steve seemed to make it harder for the historian’s words to hold value.

Blinky didn’t want to leave Steve alone in the Hero’s Forge, but it was also apparent that his presence wasn’t doing much good either. “Very well then.” He muttered solemnly, very much reluctantly shuffled away to his library. Using the excuse that he might find something in his books that might help their situation, but he knew better he wasn’t going to find any.

Steve tightly pulled his hair back and began to wonder what would happen if he died he knew he was going to. Would his parents care? He hopes that they would, because it pained him so much to know that everyone else wouldn’t mind. Maybe they’ll feel pity for a moment, but it’ll quickly fade, because Steve hadn’t been given the initiative to show his change just yet. So they’ll just remember him as a dumb bully and nothing else. The world will still be the same. Despite all that, Steve pushed back the feeling of crying. He refused to go out like a crybaby, even if it made it hurt more to think about.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Krax’s house here.” Aaarrrgghh said. It was a cave that looked like any other in trollmarket, with its entrance with a wide flight of stairs that went downwards.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” Claire looked around the cave then back at the stairs. “You guys make it fairly easy to break into homes.” She told Aaarrrgghh.

“Now find gaggletack?” Aaarrrgghh asked as he touched the tire that was in the room.

“That's the idea.” Claire glanced at the many boxes that sat in the corner of the cave.

She approached it and lifted the lid off of one of the boxes. Claire gasped as she saw that it was filled with gaggletacks. “Hey Aaarrrgghh. I found a gaggletack mother lode .” Claire kept opening the other boxes to see if the contents were the same, and they were.

The large trolls looked inside the boxes and picked up a handful of gaggletack. “Enough for proof though?”

Claire's smile faltered a bit and thought for a second. “It makes him suspicious, but being suspicious doesn’t necessarily mean he’s working for Gunmar. So maybe we need more proof?”

“Why not talk to Krax?” Aaarrrgghh suggested.

“Yeah but-“

“Claire! Aaarrrgghh!” Both were caught off guard by the sound of Toby’s voice as he walked down the stairs. “What is taking you guys so long?”

“Well we got a lead on this Krax guy and decided to check his house, which just so happens to be very far away from the Hero’s Forge.” Claire explained. “Hold on a second, why are you here Toby?

Aren’t you supposed to be stalling?”

The two saw as Toby crossed his arms and looked away. “I did the best I could. But the trial is over, the Tribunal is deciding their ruling right now.” He answered with a quiet, regretful tone.

“What?! They can’t do that!”

“Technically they can.” Toby cleared his throat at the sight of Claire’s hardened expression.

“It’s not fair.” She muttered, looking away. For the past few days, Claire had this feeling of helplessness looming over her. She was so close to fixing this, to make things right and prevent someone from being in the clutches of death.

“Claire?” The large troll asked, concerned at the teen’s silence. “We’re not giving up. We keep going.” She said.

“So we still find Krax?” Aaarrrgghh asked.

“Guys. Even if the plan could still work. We have no idea where he could be, and it’s not like we can just wait for him to come back here.” And just as Toby said that, the sounds of heavy footsteps and humming were heard amongst the three.

As Krax entered his home, he gasped at the sight of Aaarrrgghh, Toby, and Claire, who stood absolutely still in silence. “Well then. I guess we can.” Toby remarked. Claire quickly grabbed a gaggletack from the pile Aaarrrgghh was carrying and tossed it at Krax. When he grabbed it, the group shielded their eyes at the bright green flash of light. Now a human stood where the hulking troll once was. The uneasy silence continued for a brief moment before Krax tossed the gaggletack away from him and changed back into his troll form.

The changeling looked at the group, eyes frantically darting left and right, absolutely baffled at what he’s supposed to do now. With no other option to come to mind, Krax swung a punch at Aaarrrgghh and tried to leave the scene, but Claire was fast enough to block his way to the entrance.

“Wait! We’re not here to hurt you. We just want to talk.” She explained.

“And why should I believe you? Coming into my house without my knowledge and having the gall to blow my cover. Don’t you understand? All of trollmarket could be at my throat now because of you!” A pang of guilt came over Claire, her eyes diverting away from the changeling. “Then help us save the trollhunter’s life. Please I know your kind is not evil as everyone down here believes. Right now you can prove them wrong.”

“The trial…” There was no relief on Krax’s face, but rather was full of anguish and pity for the trollhunters. “Oh how much it pains me to see just how naive you children truly are.” The changeling then pulled out a dwarkstone from one of the crates. As he shook it, the dwarkstone began to flash a green glow repeatedly. “That for a changeling, failure such as this is a death sentence.”

Krax grabs Claire by the collar of her shirt and tosses her across the room where Aaarrrgghh and Toby were. The large troll managed to catch the human teen just in time. But Claire was quick to look back at Krax and a thought came to her. The thought that she had enough time to snatch the dwarkstone out of the changeling’s hands and toss it far away from everyone.

So Claire ran. Running as fast as she could towards the changeling as she heard her friends calling her to come back, Claire wasn’t going to let Krax die.

But it was too late. As the dwarkstone went off, Claire was hit by a blinding flash of light and a powerful force that pushed her back. A loud ringing noise clouded her hearing and her vision was blurry for a moment.

“Claire? Claire?! Come on, talk to me!” Toby begged as his voice was becoming less muffled to Claire.

She tried to lift herself up but suddenly felt like the skin in her right arm and the side of her face was on fire and fell back down. As Aaarrrgghh and Toby helped Claire to get up, she glanced at her friend’s face covered in thick gray dust, she looked ahead and Krax was nowhere to be seen, only just dust splattered all over the room.

“He… He’s gone.” Claire whispered, with that looming, helpless feeling now crashing down on her. “I….. I forced someone to kill themselves, and for what?”

“No.” Toby interjected. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Then whose fault was it?!” Tears were already pouring down Claire’s face.

“No one.” Aaarrrgghh responded, placing his hand on her shoulder. “This is messy side of war. Always hard to see.” The large troll took a look at Claire’s arm and saw the burns she had. “Let’s get back to Blinky.”

“Right…” Toby said slowly. That alone, and Claire staying silent with a blank expression gave Aaarrrgghh the impression that neither of them wanted to face what was next, and he couldn’t blame them. They were just children after all. He of all trolls should know that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blinky stood in front of a table in his library, two of his hands pressing themselves onto the table. The bitter emotion he felt towards the poor trollhunter’s fate. The Deep was a mysterious and terrifying force of nature, Blinky couldn’t bear to imagine what might happen once Steve made it to the deep.

“Blinkous!” The historian jolted at Vendel’s sudden presence and then saw how upset trollmarket’s elder was. “That trial was a complete disaster! The Tribunal’s votes are practically unanimous to declare him guilty of the charges.”

“Believe me Vendel, I am aware.” Blinky responded. “But surely there is something we can do to-” In a nick of time, Aaarrrgghh suddenly barged inside alongside Toby and Claire. “Aaarrrgghh, you’re back. Did you find something they might give us a chance to fix this?” Blinky asked.

“Maybe. But Claire hurt.” The large troll brought the teen forward, who still seemed to be in shock a bit. “Needs help.”

Blinky gasped at the sight of Claire’s burns. “By Deya’s grace, what happened?”

“Turns out there was a changeling here at trollmarket by the name of Krax.” Toby explained.

“You found one?” Blinky asked in surprise.

“Yeah, but he wasn’t too happy that we found out so he used a dwarkstone to….. dispose of himself.” Toby’s voice wavering and low at that last part, feeling uncomfortable putting what happened into words.

“Oh dear.” Blinky whispered.

Vendel grabbed Claire’s arm that was burned and took out some gauze from his bag. “Tragic, but not surprising. For changelings, this tactic is used quite often when they’re discovered.” As the elder tends to Claire’s arm, Toby couldn’t help but feel uneasy by how casual Vendel made it sound.

“So what do we do now? We still got nothing and it’s not like the Tribunal will take our word for it.” Claire said, wincing at the stinging sensation her arm felt in contact with the gauze.

“Then perhaps they’ll take my word.” Vendel responded, tearing the end of the gauze and gave it to Blinky. “Blinkous, finish tending to her wounds. I shall take this to Usurna and do everything in my power to have her at least consider stopping this trial.”

"Well amongst all the bad shit that has happened today, it seems like maybe things might turn around for the better.” Toby remarked as Vendel exited the library.

“I’m sure at this point we can all agree towards Tobias’ sentiment.” Blinky takes out a first aid kit that was under the table. Jim suggested in the past that Blinky should have one around just in case, and since then he was quickly proven right after a couple of missions. “Claire, I hope you don’t mind asking but how are you holding up? You seem quite shaken.”

The teen held a grip and twisted the fabric of her skirt. “I guess what I saw was… a lot to take in. It’s not right.”

Blinky sighed as he placed a pad where the side of her cheek was burned. “I understand. I suppose it is another problem added to the mix that needs fixing, but sadly that will be more difficult to accomplish. So for now, let us focus on one problem at a time.”

“Right…” Claire muttered. “Do you think that Vendel will be able to save Steve?”

“I have hope. All I know for certain is that with Vendel’s status as trollmarket’s elder, we have a better chance at turning the tides to our favor.” What the historian said to Claire managed to put her somewhat at ease, but after failing so much, the doubt never left her mind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After reuniting the tribunal, Vendel requested that he could speak with Usurna alone inside of the Heartstone.

As they walked, Vendel explained the discovery of the changeling and what occurred after. “A changeling? Here in Trollmarket?”

“Yes.” Trollmarket’s elder confirmed.

“And you are certain of this? That this isn’t a ploy by the trollhunter’s companions to buy themselves more time?” Usurna glanced at Vendel, her expression seemingly skeptical.

“I have it on good authority. If Gunmar’s agents are within the walls, something is afoot. We must suspend the Tribunal at once and deal with the real threat.” Vendel said, looking back at Usurna. “Real threat? You think there may be more than one ally of Gunmar, here in trollmarket?” Vendel was beginning to hope that the Krubera queen was finally coming to her senses and prioritize the real issue that was at hand.

“Yes. If Gunmar has one agent within Trollmarket, who’s to say there aren’t others?” He explained. The livelihoods of trollmarket’s residents were at risk, and Vendel would not allow this to be ignored until it was too late. “It’s time we root out this enemy at the core and end this.”

Usurna halted herself in surprise at what she just heard and watched as Vendel continued to walk forward. “You’re wrong Vendel. There are only two agents of Gunmar within Trollmarket’s walls.”

Confusion riddled Vendel’s mind of hearing Usurna while picking out some of the rocks that were on a table.

“The changeling.” Usurna plucked out a thin, small dagger from the feather-like neckpiece. “And the changeling’s master.”

“What?” Realization suddenly hit the elder. No couldn’t possible that Gunmar would have someone with that great of a position of power on his side. Vendel took a small crystal in his hand before facing Usurna, who was already dangerously close to him. Just in case the worst came to be for him. “How do you know this?” He asked with a heavy voice.

“Because.” Usurna stabbed Vendel in the stomach with the dagger. “I’m the master.”

To the shock of the elder, he was already turning into stone. It seemed that her dagger wasn’t an ordinary weapon. Gasping for breath, Vendel began backing away. He dropped his staff and struggled to maintain movement as his body was slowly beginning to harden.

“I apologize Vendel.” Usurna said, genuinely sounding disappointed. “I was hoping you’d live long enough to see Gunmar’s glorious return.” She placed her dagger back to her neckpiece and grabbed Vendel’s staff.

The elder loses his balance and falls down to his knees. “Usurna… You cannot…” He muttered, his voice becoming hoarse. Even with the burning pain Vendel felt, he had enough tolerance to be able to stand up in front of Usurna. “They’ll stop you. The trollhunter…” Vendel could not finish his last words as his body was now completely engulfed in stone.

“Shall die.” Usurna said. “Both of them.” She used the end of Vendel’s staff to tip his body over, smashing into pieces by the impact of the floor. “Farewell, Vendel, Elder of Trollmarket. A shame that you had to meet your end like this.” The Krubera queen tossed the staff aside and walked away, coming out of the heartstone with a calm expression as if nothing had happened.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With everyone back in the Hero’s Forge to finish this trial, the group was quick to notice that Vendel was noticeably absent from the court.

“The Tribunal will come to an order.” Blinky narrowed his eyes in bewilderedness at Ursuna’s lack of acknowledgment of the elder’s absence.

“Wait a minute, Vendel isn’t here.” Steve looked down at Blinky, hoping that he had some kind of explanation for this. “Didn’t you say that he was going to tell them what you guys found?”

"Pardon me but we spoke to Vendel, and he was going to present our newly found evidence to the Tribunal.” Blinky explained.

“When I spoke to him, he said nothing of any evidence.” Blinky’s eyes widened at the notion, while the rest were shocked at what they heard. That couldn’t be right, Vendel was an honorable and quite frankly blunt troll. He wouldn’t lie about such a thing.

“However, it became apparent to me that Vendel’s judgment for this trial might not be as objective as I hoped, so I had him removed from this trial.” Usurna stated. “Hold on you- you can’t….” Toby wanted to object to this decision, but how could he when he requested the same thing with Gatto at the beginning. He could feel his friends and Steve’s gaze, waiting for him to finish saying something that could help them.

“You were saying?” Bork questioned, raising her brow.

Toby was at a loss of words, without the evidence, there was nothing more he or anyone could do. Toby’s silence was all the group needed to realize the painful truth that it was over. They had failed. “Very well.” Usurna took the teen’s lack of response as an indication to continue on. “The Tribunal finds the trollhunter… guilty. He is hereby sentenced into the Deep, to face death at the hands of his greatest fear.” The Tribunal left the viewing deck, but Usurna wanted to see this through till the end, so she made her way down to the Hero’s Forge.

When the cage started to move backwards, the others looked back and began following it. “Vendel was supposed to make things better.” Toby muttered, looking utterly defeated. “We were so close! and now-“

“You tried.” There was a bitter acceptance in Steve’s voice, with his small, tired smile making all the more painful for the others. “You… you all tried. It’s not like we had much of a winning shot anyway.” Soon he felt his throat tighten and the spots of small tears in his eyes, but Steve made sure in all his power that he would push it back down. “At least it has to be me instead of Lake.” “But it doesn’t have to be this way.” Claire objected, sprinting closer to Steve. “I can use my shadow staff. I get you out of the Deep, you don’t have to die.” Steve stayed silent. There was an option that would have him live another day, but what next? Helping him out of his sentence sounded like treason to him. Steve wondered if it was fair to put Claire in so much trouble just to save his life.

“I… I can’t let you do that. Who knows what Trollmarket would do if you do that.” The cage stopped at a bottomless pit that was at the edge of the Hero Forge. Just the anxiety and fleeting fear by looking down made Steve grab the bars of the cage with both hands.

“Master Steve, things may be hopeless. But you mustn’t give up.” Blinky implored. “As long as you keep on fighting, you can be capable of overcoming anything. Please remember that.” Then Usurna stepped in with her Krubera guards. “If there’s any consolation, these past few days have shown me something that humans should have never been a part of troll affair, the mere existence of a human trollhunter should be a violation of Troll Law.”

With that, Usurna signaled a guard to lower the cage to the Deep. The group watched as the cage dropped, Steve’s screaming getting fainter and fainter as it fell further.

He held his breath and braced for impact. The cage crashes below the many edges of the sharp, stony walls, sending Steve flying everywhere and constantly slamming into the bars.

Once the cage finally made it to the ground, Steve crawled out of it as the door seemed to be already open. His whole body ached as he slowly got up on one knee, hearing the quiet wheezing of his breath. The crystal from the cave soon flickered out, leaving the blonde teen in the darkness with nothing but the small glow of the amulet as his light.

Steve wandered cautiously, keeping his hand in contact with the walls as some kind of guidance. As he walked, Steve looked down at his free hand and began to concentrate on summoning Daylight. To his surprise, the sword appeared swiftly at his palm. Sure it took a while to summon, but Steve expected that it wasn’t going to appear at all.

Using his sword as a light source, the trollhunter moved it around to see if there was anything or anyone. Taking a turn around, he felt the wall was becoming smoother, and began hearing the most faint voices. However, they were not like the ones in his dream, it was coming from somewhere. Steve’s mind told him that following the voices was a bad idea, that finding a way to get out would be a better idea. But now there was this nagging thought in his mind.

The blonde teen remembered his fear the pixies had forced to show him. Even now he could still remember how it shook him to his very core. So the question arose in his mind, would his fear be any different now?

Steve grimaced and gripped his sword tightly, then with a frustrated groan, he sprinted towards the voices. Soon the dark cave-like pit soon transitioned to the hallways of Arcadia Oaks High. The voices turned out to be chatter from students that the trollhunter could seem to hear. He tried getting closer, but it didn’t make one of the conversations clearer. Even stranger, no one seemed to take note of him. As if they were ignoring Steve.

“Hello?” He shook a student’s shoulder, but didn’t have any kind of reaction, not even a dirty look.

Suddenly all the lights began to go back and forth between going on and off. The constant switching was getting faster and faster before one by one, each light began to explode, with sparks of electricity flying off of the circuits. Steve was baffled at no one reacting, they just kept talking and remained oblivious beyond belief. Steve steadied his hold on Daylight with both hands and looked at his surroundings with anxious dread.

The sound of metal scraping against each other almost made the trollhunter jump, he turned around from behind and waited as whatever was coming came closer. From a hallway on the right side appeared a dark figure with a black suit of armor and a large sword with a piercing red glow. Their eyes were red as well and wide, and Steve could just tell it was full of hate and anger. A chill went down his spine as they stared him down. They lifted their sword up and brought it close across their face.

The color on Steve’s face drained the moment he saw that this…. thing had his face. The doppelganger found the trollhunter’s reaction amusing and formed a large smile, his teeth sharp with fangs. In his panic state, Steve decided to take this opportunity to strike first. He swung his sword, but the doppelganger quickly avoided it by sliding to the side. They went ahead of Steve and hit his back with the handle of his sword.

Steve stumbled and bent down, having the air knocked out of him. As he tried his best to straighten himself, the doppelganger gave him no time and lunged at Steve, pinning him down to the ground. Steve thrashed around with all his strength, trying to escape the doppelganger’s hold, but nothing seemed to help. “Let me go!” Steve shouted. “Or I swear to god I’ll-"

The doppelganger pressed their finger on the trollhunter’s lips. “Shhhhhhhhhh.” Their voice was raspy and strained, nothing like Steve’s. “Hush and listen. Listen to their whispers.” The students’ conversations suddenly became clear.

“What’s psycho Steve doing now?”

“Is he alright? I’m starting to get scared.”

“Ugh, why does Steve always have to make a scene?”

“He must really like the attention.”

Everyone was talking about him, as if he wasn’t there or was too stupid to notice. Couldn’t they see that he was in trouble? “Please!” Steve cried out. “Someone help me!”

But they just kept talking and talking. “No one is going to help. Why would they?” The doppelganger said, tightening their grip on Steve’s wrist. “Someone as horrible and disgusting as you should get to clean up your mess by yourself.”

The trollhunter hissed as it felt like his wrists were going to break at any moment. Steve head-butted the doppelganger, moved to the side, and kicked them out of his way. As Steve dragged himself back up, he summoned Daylight, leaning onto it like a crutch.

He could tell that the doppelganger was furious now. The doppelganger charged at Steve, raising their sword up high, but barely missing the trollhunter as he slid to the side, with the upper part of his right arm taking the hit.

Steve held back the urge to scream and, as if on instinct, swung a punch at the doppelganger’s face. They didn’t seem affected much by it, and swung their sword again. The trollhunter brought out his shield and was forced to stumble back with each strike the doppelganger made with their sword. Steve knew he couldn’t keep a steady hold for long with how strong their blows were, but he was having a hard time figuring out how to beat something that practically seemed invincible.

“Such a useless coward!” The doppelganger exclaimed with a devilish grin. “Can’t even win a fight with himself.”

When the doppelganger struck the trollhunter’s shield again, Steve brought himself closer to them and pushed the sword out of the way, and thrusted daylight right through their abdomen. The doppelganger recoiled as they spat out blood, and for a moment Steve felt a sense of relief that it was over. “Oh my god! He killed him!” Someone screamed in horror.

Steve looked around and found a crowd forming amongst the hallway, and with it, fear and outcry could be heard all around. When Steve turned to see the doppelganger again, Jim stood there instead. His classmate looked at the blood that covered his hands then looked back at Steve. “You….. Why?”

Just the sound of his voice being so fragile and broken made the trollhunter’s stomach drop. “I…. I…” Then Steve furiously shook his head. “No! This- This isn’t real. You’re not real, none of this is real!”

Tears started to cloud his vision, but he could still see the expression of disbelief and distraught in Jim’s face. “So….. is my pain not real?” Jim slowly started to bring himself closer to Steve, letting Daylight pierce further into his wound. “All the torment you put me and so many others through just doesn't matter?”

Steve tried all that he could to stop Jim without hurting him anymore, but he kept walking forward. “Who are you to tell me that what I dealt with you is or isn’t real.” He snapped through his choked sobs. “What did I ever do to you to deserve this?!”

“You- You didn’t, you didn’t anything wrong! You didn’t deserve anything of what I did to you!” At this point, the two were face to face with each other, where Steve could only see the sword’s handle in front of him. “Please…. I’m sorry! I-I don't know how to make things right. Just tell me how!”

Jim leaned onto Steve, making his struggle to breathe any further loud and clear for the trollhunter. “You already know the answer to that.” A small smile escaped his lips. “To truly redeem yourself, you have to face the crowd and endure all the pain and suffering you deserve. You know as well as I do that you’re not even close to being a person people can tolerate.”

Steve felt like he was suffocating as he now held to Jim’s dead body. With nothing else he could think of, the trollhunter pulled the sword out and moved away from the body as far as he could, letting it collapse to the ground. As Steve walked backwards, the crowd pushed him forward.

“Murder!”

“I can’t believe you could do such a thing?!”

“Get him!”

Booming voices came from who knows how many people, calling him awful things but what he believed to be true. As the crowd was closing in on Steve, he was already at his breaking point. Hands grab Steve to restrain him, and was met with a punch in the face that came out of nowhere. Countless students came forward to throw a punch or kick at Steve. Amidst all of this, Blinky’s words then echoed in his mind. Even if it seemed like there was no way out of this, Steve knew there was still some fight left in him. As the next person got close, Steve kicked them out of the way as far as he could, only to receive a punch in the stomach.

Might as well die trying than not at all.

[junosartsthetic]

Rohan Headcanons

Here’s eight pages of Rohan shit I wrote late at night. I should stop doing that. But alas, I won’t.

Okey

HeS a lil shit

That’s canon

But

He’s also kinda 🥺🥺

Heavens door also is 🥺🥺

if Rohan isn’t in the mood to give affection heavens door will gladly hug you for hOUrs

like

It’ll just nestle up against your chest and sorta,,,, fall asleep almost?

N ur like Rohan it’s asleep on my tits

N he’s like,,,, god I wish that were me…. I mean,,,, uhh,,, fuckin sucks 4 you guess you’ll just suffer

he likes drawing you

lol sketches on napkins n such

He just likes lookin at ur face

🥺🥺🥺🥺

He also has a pen somewhere lost in his hair

He keeps it there just in case his other ones get lost

Somehow

Even tho he’s got so fuCKin many

Also he lovEs learning things!

He’ll pick up a book about anything and read it just because

He’ll try to impress u with weird n random facts

Most of the time it doesn’t work

he likes when you mess with his hair

On the outside he’s like

DOnt fuckin touCh me but on the inside he’s like,,,, oooo head scritches r niceeeee

He believes he has an exceptional sense of style and doesn’t take criticism

He wears silk pajamas

But only sometimes

99% of the time he sleeps in his clothes because he passes out from exhaustion mid-drawing

Rohan also likes writing

Just lil things

Poems n such

He’s rather sentimental about certain things

He likes to go to libraries even though he’s got a bunch of books at home because he believes it allows him to better absorb the information he needs

He hates off brand things

It’s a maJor pet peeve

“What the hell is this?”

“What do you mean? They’re pop tarts?”

“THESE ARE NATURALLY FLAVORED FROSTED BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON TOASTER PASTRIES GREAT VALUE BRAND™️!”

“Yeah, pop tarts.”

“JAHDHWHXUWUDUWHDGWG”

He likes to wear slippers

Bunny slippers

They’re cute

He got heavens door a lil pair of them

Gotta match, ya know?

He picks at his eyelashes when he’s nervous

You gotta tell him to stop or else he’s gonna have to wear falsies

That makes him quit for a little while at least

He once accidentally stabbed himself with a pen but refused to go to Josuke for help

He’s still got a scar from it

his house has a basement but he’s never gone down to it

Too scary

He just says he has no use for it

Lies!

He’s a scaredy-cat

He can play quite a few instruments

He can also sing

He sings in the shower

It’s not half bad but his song choices tend to be awful

“STOP FUCKING SINGING ‘I KISSED A GIRL’ IN THE SHOWER OVER AND OVER! ITS SEVEN IN THE MORNING AND IM SICK OF IT!”

He’s got an embarrassing tattoo somewhere

Probably something stupid like a butterfly on his calf

He pretends it doesn’t exist

He used to read random people’s memories with heavens door when bored or uninspired but after a mortifying memory he read he stopped doing that

He once had a coo-coo clock but smashed it because it was getting on his nerves

he hates the sound of gum chewing

It’s the worst™️ to him

he sometimes forgets to shower

Nasty

But when he does shower it is extra™️

He takes reaaaaally long showers

And sings, as established

what the fuck does he even do in there?

Idfk

It’s a secret

He orders takeout because he can’t fucking cook

He’s trash at it

He tries

But he just can’t do it

he tends to make faces when he draws

It’s hilarious

He once drank 17 five hour energies to see what would happen

He doesn’t remember what happened

He awoke 2 days later in the hospital

he enjoys playing scrabble but only because everyone who plays against him ends up crying in anger when they lose

He owns a bunch of record players for the aesthetic™️

Doesn’t use them like ever

Owns like 3 records that he will play once in a blue moon

Everything he does is for the aesthetic™️ tbh

He likes to be held

But only under certain circumstances 

Do nOT touch when he is in the middle of drawing something intense

He will turn around and sMAck you with his pen (on purpose or accident? Idk)

He’s clingy

He’s needy

He’s whiny

He’s like a puppy

But with the ego of a cat

He’ll be actively spooning you but assures you he is nOt having the time of his life

Eventually he admits he likes hugs n human contact

But at first it’s like trying to give a cat a bath

Yikes™️

Speaking of baths… bath time!

He likes baths

They’re nice

Bubble baths

They help him think 

And he likes to mess with the bubbles

He likes the smell of candles too

You normally buy him candles in special occasions 

He loves them

Most of the time

Occasionally he will despise the scent but keep the candle around anyway because he feels bad throwing away a gift

Well, a gift from his s/o

Anyone else he’ll tOss that sucker into the trash

The gift— not the gift giver

Maybe

If it’s Josuke— he’s in the dumpster 

Uhhhh

Slightly nsfw but uhh,,,

Boob stress balls?

Nice

It’s a win-win situation tbh

soft, moldable, attached to someone he loves

Amazing

You’ve gotten used to it tbh

Whatever calms him down

Also he likes when you kiss his forehead before going to bed

He’ll be staying up to finish something and you’ll kiss him good night and leave your chapstick on his forehead and he just—

Makes him feel loved

He won’t admit it though

you usually initiate the affection

Sometimes he’ll hold your hand or something in public

In private he’ll be more outgoing but deny it means anything

“What, no I didn’t mean to touch your ass it was an accident”

“You’re still touching my ass”

“It’s still an accident”

you two also get in realllly stupid arguments 

“Did you open this door?”

“What?”

“Did you open it?”

“Why would I open the basement door?”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Liar!”

“Why would I lie about that?”

he’s a blanket hog

Also loves his pillows

He wears a lil sleep mask to bed

It’s cute

he unironically has a hydro flask

It keeps his water cold

He finds the jingling of the ice in it annoying though

I think he wouldn’t enjoy digital art because he can’t feel the paper and the ink and it’s not as personal

he likes eating ramen

Even though it’s terrible for him

If you look closely there are little stains on his papers

It’s ramen broth

But it’s convenient and he can’t cook for shit so it’s what he eats

He acts all refined but he’s not if you look closely

He’s got a reallly messy closet I bet

He tries to keep organized but it’s difficult!

He likes drawing birds

Idk why

Birb

He’s got a framed picture of you on his desk

He looks at it when he’s feeling stressed

It usually calms him down and gets him ready to work

you’ve nude modeled for him a couple times

Half the time he’s not even sketching

You don’t care though

Seeing his suave facade and expression be replaced with red cheeks and stifling coughs is cute

By the end you just give him a kiss and then it leads to—

The nsfw is for later

anyway

He’s tried to get you to draw

But anything you draw he criticizes so harshly that you’ve sworn off showing him your drawings 

You know he’s doing it to help you

But it still hurts

you’ll sometimes help shading things in his manga

It’s the only thing he trusts you to do

But only on minor panels

And in small patches

But you still get credit as a background artist so you’re happy

You paint his nails a lot

He doesn’t mind

his favorite color is a dark green like his hair, though he also enjoys gold to match his stand

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[teddy-bear-surprise]

Prologue

A short introduction to: 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐲 ✷ 𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐢

Hurley stood over Mitch with his eyebrows furrowed. "Rapp, listen to me kid. I can't keep helping you out like this, you need to make a choice and quick. They're on my ass about your stupid fucking behavior in Thailand."

"Oh come on, Hurley, you know that situation wasn't my fault. It would've been even worse if I hadn't been there!" He pleaded with Hurley, insisting for the hundredth time that day that his actions on the last mission had been unavoidable. "Do I? Do I know that? Because those four collapsed buildings and seven video cameras with your face all over them would say otherwise, Rapp." Mitch stood up now, his face growing red as the vein in his neck protruded slightly. "You weren't there... Sir. You didn't see what was going on. There was no other option, I couldn't get to the guy in time and he was wearing the fucking bomb, Hurley. What else did you expect me to do?" "I don't fucking know, Rapp, but they're pinning this on you so now you have to choose. And if you don't choose you're done for good." He paused, "I know you don't want that and I sure as hell don't either, you're one of my best damn recruits." Hurley rubbed his forehead with his fingers, trying to think of what to say next. Mitch banged his fist against the cold, grey wall. "Couldn't they give me some better options? I mean seriously, I either an eight-month suspension or go undercover for a year? Jeez, Hurley. I know the Agency is already prepared to send me undercover but I don't want to do undercover and I sure as hell am not letting you suspend me." The door opened behind them as Stansfield walked in. As if his position as the CIA's Director didn't already give him enough power, his perfect posture and perfectly kept suit-and-tie made him even more intimidating. "Rapp, buddy, Hurley over here tells me you're giving him a tough time. You went rogue, okay? This is what happens when you go rogue, you're not giving either of us much of a choice here." He patted Mitch on the back as he shook Hurley's hand. "I did not go 'rogue'. I did my job, Director." The Director ignored him, moving on with what was most likely a pre-rehearsed speech to convince Mitch to fold. "Look, you already know that you've got two options. You get an eight-month suspension, which will put you on complete and total lockdown. No going to the grocery store, no running in the park, no eating out. Nothing. Or, you can take the open position in the Undercover Division. Cooper is out for the year on 'paternal leave', whatever the hell that means, so we need someone to fill in. We can't have you working in Orion for now, you're a liability, but we also don't want to lose you. So, give me a straight answer, Rapp. It's up to you." Mitch sat back down, burying his head in his hands. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark brown strands, and muttered quietly. "Fine. I'll take the job." "I'm sorry, what was that?" Hurley jokingly tapped a finger against his ear as he let out a deep chuckle. "But! Only if I get to go overseas. I don't want to have to deal with any of those useless, domestic undercover operations that end up helping no one." Hurley looked at Mitch, "I knew you couldn't say no." "Yeah, yeah, so what's the job?" "What makes you think we've already got a job for you?" Hurley was still poking fun at Mitch. "I know you, Hurley, you wouldn't push for it if you didn't know I would actually be working." "Well, you're right. We do have a case for you, Hurley and Bennett will brief you in a few minutes. Welcome back to the Agency... Officially." The Director approached Mitch with his hand outstretched, waiting for him to shake it. Mitch shook his hand hesitantly, wondering what kind of operation they'd be sticking him on, and hoped that this wasn't just some elaborate scheme to babysit him from within the Agency. The Director quickly left and Hurley sat down in the chair next to Mitch, tapping his fingers against his thighs impatiently. Hurley turned his head to face Mitch. "See? This isn't so bad. You still get to work and you get to travel.

"You know it's not, but it is better than a suspension." Mitch rolled his eyes lightly. "Hey, you know what I just realized? You're actually perfect for this job. Didn't you get a minor in French? I'm almost sure I saw that before I burned your nasty excuse of a resume." "Gee, thanks, Hurley. Yeah, I got a major in International Business and minored in French. Why exactly is this important?" He paused for a second as Hurley let him think. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. France? Really? That's probably going to be just as boring, if not more boring, than a domestic case." "Stop that, Mitch, just wait until you're briefed and you might even like the case. Plus, I can't believe you're judging this case for being boring when you're the domesticated dumbass who dropped out of your last year of training at the Academy just to be with Maureen." Hurley waved his arms around jokingly, mimicking a despaired Mitch. "'Ahhhh. She was so scared. Blah blah blah. She didn't want me to get hurt.' Can't believe you ever gave up this life for a chick... and a dead one at that." "Can we not talk about Maureen? Please?" Mitch slumped in his seat, still haunted by the wounds that never seemed to heal. "Fine, Agent Cry Baby. I mean you lost your lacrosse scholarship for that position in the FBI and you still threw it away for her. I don't know, I'm just shocked is all." He clenched his fists and spoke slowly, trying to maintain his composure. "I know. I get it, Hurley. You've made your point now drop it. And where the hell is Bennett with the briefing?" Almost as soon as Mitch had voiced his complaint, Agent Bennett walked in with a laptop and two paper files in hand. "Hurley, Rapp. Are we ready here?" "Yeah, whatever, get on with it Bennett." Hurley waved his hand dismissively at the young agent who was struggling to connect his laptop to the television in front of them. Bennett was finally able to put his presentation up on the screen. "Okay, Agent Rapp, you leave in a week and a half and when you arrive in Paris, you will be meeting up with Agent Russo, or as he is known to the Celestins, Axel Didier. Try not to blow his cover, please. He's the only person we've ever managed to get into the Celestins' inner circle and he's also the only one who can get you in." "The who's?" Mitch looked up at Bennett and his presentation with confusion. "The Celestins. France's biggest mafia family. Originally from Italy, they changed their names to assimilate to Parisian norms over seventy years ago. Since then, they've managed to infiltrate every aspect of life possible, ranging from politics to agriculture, and no one has ever come close to stopping them. Your job, Rapp, is to infiltrate that same inner circle and gather intel so that we might have a real shot at taking them down. Nothing more, Rapp. I know it's not what you're used to, but please don't kill anyone and don't even try to talk to Marcel Celestin's daughter. He'll rip you in half before you can say 'hello' to her." "Who are you to tell me who'll 'rip' me in half or not, Bennett? You've never even been in the field before." "My talents were needed elsewhere." Bennett retorted at the comment. Even Hurley joined in, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid. Just get on with the presentation, please. Don't make me do your job for you." "Fine. Rapp, you will be there for the next year and at the end of that year, we will fake your death and you will return to Orion, living the same life as before. You'll have to go through a few minor adjustments with your appearance to fit in better there but it's nothing major, just a few tattoos and getting rid of that beard should do the trick. And you need to attend a four-hour French intensive every day before you leave just to make sure your French is up to par. Other than that, you should be good to go, Agent." "Really, Bennett? 'Good to go?' You're not forgetting anything?" Hurley leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and staring incredulously at Agent Bennett. "Uhhhh... No?"

"Gah-damnit! You didn't tell Rapp his undercover name, you idiot."

"Oh yeah. I did forget that."

"What's my name supposed to be then?"

"Mitch Stilinski. We wanted to keep your first name the same for ease, but we wanted to add in a vaguely European last name to adapt your name better to the setting." Bennett smiled at his fix.

Mitch got up and walked to the door, opening it slightly as he sighed, "Well then, I'm going to go home to prep for this upcoming year in hell. Thank you very much for all of that very insightful information, Bennett."

[mudwingprince]

agh, fuck it

have a trauma story that fucked me up :)

TW/CW: abuse and manipulation but its really goofed up because i keep yelling about it

oof... i dont even know where to start with this

uuhhhhhhh

well

it started in the beginning of 5th grade

and, there was this kid, lets name him... uh... Dick, thats not his real name, of course

and he said that he liked me in october

and me being the little kid i am whos 'in a relationship' with another kid already (it was just a close friendship, we're not really close anymore cus its awkward, especially after what happened here)

and, after a bit of prodding and a staged little thing where Dick managed to get this other kid to 'break up with me' (wtf it was just a friendship XD), i decided to 'date' him (listen, i hardly knew him and was ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM)

looking back on that now, that was a huge red flag and JESUS CRIST IM SUCH AN IDIOTTTTT

anyways, a couple days later, we were playing Kiss Marry Kill in the lunch room (god i hate that game, its horrible) aaaand Dick gives me three kids

himself, one of his friends who we'll call... Bob cus he's not really important to the story and like, i cant think of anything else XD and one other kid who literally has nothing to do with this

so i said Marry Dick (i- why did i say that? i didnt mean it XD), Kiss Bob (omg i cant take this seriously anymore help XD) and Kill the other kid

a bit more rounds of that and when we're taken out to recess (ah, the good ol days XD) and as we're leaving i say "I would kiss Bob in a life or death situation" and Dick fucking storms off for no reason???

i mean, that was a logical thing, i would kiss anyone in a life or death situation???

and then when we're at recess and i was fucking around with my little friend group that im in

AND THEN DICK FUCKING STORMS UP AND THEN PULLS ME TO THE SIDE????

and then we get into an entire argument ending with Dick telling me to not talk to Bob

ever

:/

the 'relationship' went on like that for 6 months

six.

fucking.

months.

started in september.

ended in februray.

it was like that the entire time

him pulling me to the side and telling me not to talk to certain people and to say certain things

THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHERE HE SAID 'TELL ME THIS THING THAT YOU ALMOST SAID TO BOB' AND I WAS LIKE 'WTF I DIDNT TELL BOB ANYTHING YOU TOLD ME NOT TO???' AND AT THE END OF THE DAY HE TOLD ME TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVED HIM???

AND HE GOT PISSED WHEN I MUMBLED IT BECAUSE I WAS CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE

AND I LET IT GO ON LIKE THIS

FOR SIX. FUCKING. MONTHS.

WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME XD

but anyways-

i broke up with him by ghosting him for idk how long (he said a week, but im pretty sure it might've been just a day so like :/) but he wound up getting pissed at me saying that if i didnt talk to him that obviously meant that i didnt want to be together with him/s (he was right)

so uh, year goes by, im struggling with my mental health, yatta yatta, stuff happens that im not up for getting into, yatta yatta now im here doing pretty okay

and im preeeetty sure we all know that intrusive thoughts are a fucking asshole to me, especially recently

and how one of them was the constant nagging that someone was Dick and they were my friend (sttiiiiilll not gonna get into specifics cus i still feel like crap about it :/) and i think the reason for that was that one time that he said that he was a good liar *cough* also the fact that he was able to get away with manipulating and abusing me for 6 months

what other things have stuck with me ever since this shit happened...

well my anxiety got worse, so theres that

uhhhh i still blame myself for almost everything that happened here cus i let it go on for this long without stopping it

i dont really have a big interest in musical stuff anymore cus the majority of the times we got into our arguments it was at drama club (i still do the plays, but im not cast anymore, it doesnt have that same ring to it anymore)

ALSO YES, I WAS TEN, YES, IM STILL GAY, NO I DIDNT KNOW THAT I WAS GAY WHEN I WAS TEN

I KNOW THAT I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AT TEN BUT IM A FUCKING PEOPLE PLEASER LEAVE ME ALONE >:T

anyways

hOpEd YoU eNjOyEd My TrAuMa StOrY

i might post more of these trauma stories cus i had fun yelling about how much of a dick Dick was

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[brainshock-alpha]

1. (What do you like most/least about writing?), 17. (Which scenes are the hardest to write: emotional, action, dialogue, smut, ...?), 18. (Which writing 'rules' do you regularly break?), & 31 (What do you look for in an ending?)

wahoo! thanks velvet

1. What do you like most/least about writing?

man... i just love bringing my ideas to life. thinking of something cool that i wish existed in the world, and then actually making it happen... what's more poggers than that? of course, you could say that about any form of art... so what's special about writing? hmmmm... well, a picture may be worth a thousand words, but there's something to be said for writing out that much and choosing exactly which words you want your work to convey, don't you think?

as for what i like least, well sometimes it's just, Actually Writing,,, cuz thinking about stories and scenes is easy; actually translating those ideas into words and typing them out in a linear fashion is the hardest damn thing sometimes! especially when i don't know exactly how the scenes connect yet... i've had a lot of headaches from trying to come up with interstitial bullshit :^| (hence why i like to use <hr />s between distinct-enough scenes -- implicit connections can work fine too!)

17. Which scenes are the hardest to write: emotional, action, dialogue, smut, ...?

uhhh, fuckin, anything that's not dialogue LMAO. i'm really not someone who can paint pictures with words. heck, i kinda struggle anytime i have to describe How Things Are Happening in a way that's interesting and not overly blunt (you'll probably never see me write a fight scene lol)

and honestly? i struggle with sex scenes too... although for very different reasons. the thing about my two pre-existing explicit-rated fics is that, i, never got to the sexual content in either of them lmfao. (note to potential readers, that does not mean they're sfw fics as they are now!) at this point i'm absolutely incapable of just writing sex... if i don't have 500k words of interaction and emotional buildup beforehand, then my heart's just not gonna be in it, i'm afraid!

18. Which writing 'rules' do you regularly break?

starting a sentence with "and" (and other such words); that's extremely a fake rule to me lmao. related but i don't do it as frequently: sentence fragments. there are absolutely moments when a simple fragment is way punchier than an actual complete sentence. basically, whatever would flow better in a hypothetical spoken narration, i'm down to try.

i also like to play with punctuation, especially in dialogue. text alone can't express all the nuances of Actual Real-Life Conversation; the things that get lost, like cadence and intonation, can have a big impact! it may be nonstandard usage, but i try to convey some of that stuff by adding extra commas (e.g. "I, didn't, say anything.") and choosing end punctuation based on tone, rather than actual question/statement status (e.g. "You're opening that right now, aren't you.")

31. What do you look for in an ending?

jesus. uhhhh. whatever i can make sound good?? lmao uh endings (and beginnings) are hard for me... making one that i'm content enough with is kinda just a matter of trying shit until i land on something i vibe with. hmm, i guess it has to tie in with an earlier major point/theme? and feel like a reasonable stopping point for the story i'm trying to tell? i also end up closing on pithy single sentences a lot cuz i don't know how to use anything else lol

[jiminrings]

could you maybe do something where it’s yoongi in rich boy!jimin’s au and he meets his y/n or a peak into how their relationship would work ? i love you 🥺💚

contact: you

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: the water’s cold but yoongi makes it warmer; or that piece in which model!yoongi meets his y/n!!

wordcount: 4k

notes: i love you too!!! :D

also, this yoongi comes from insufferable, that rich boy!jimin au!! in this fic we’re all just gonna pretend that yoongi’s PA goes by another name and not y/n :)) yoongi’s y/n is not jimin’s y/n!! pls don’t be confused that’s all hehe // gif isn’t mine!!

there’s a fine line in between compliments and insults

hENCE backhanded compliments

but in a way it’s still a compliment, right???

would it still be a backhanded compliment if you give it to yourself though,,,,, that’s the question

tHREE YEARS IN FILM SCHOOL

you just can’t seem to know whether graduating a year early than intended from film school is a cOMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

is it an achievement or is it a curse??

ok initially, you were proud from graduating a year early because that meant one less year dedicating yoursef to studies, right???

big wrong :D

that meant you choosing the most cramped schedule with more units than you think is humanely possible

you just cAN’T help wanting to go on with life faster and easier!!! you went with this track anyway so you could become closer to the diRECTOR you’ve always wanted to be

it’s a pretty simple analogy

and u don’t get why people who took the same course as you did, didn’t think as the same way as you do

because like for example

there’s two options to go to your destination

hmmm let’s say it’s to go to the park!!! a rEALLY famous and beautiful park and if you aren’t early enough, then there’d be no place for you to lay a blanket out and properly enjoy it

the first route is a nicely-paved, nicely-leveled and cemented road, but it’s gonna take about twenty minutes because there’s traffic

oR

the second route is a much shorter trip that would take only ten minutes, but the road may be a lil rocky and not all postlamps are lit and there mAY be a crossing chicken or not

of course you’d go for the second route :D

and now you know why much more people wanted to go with the first route aHA

no disrespect to your alma mater or something but that shit sUCKED

sURE they had decent dorms and it was your decision to take the more hectic schedule that meant much less time for you to do basically anything that’s outside of your film degree

it was having instant noodles atleast four out of the seven days in a week and sometimes even skipping that processed goodie because it always felt like you’d have to be hustling

hustling is a very icky word in ur humble opinion but you like saying that now ironically in your quarter-life crisis

it was the “why would i wait to cook this for ten minutes wHEN i could be doing something else more productive iNSTEAD of eating aka delecting food that helps give what i need to atleast enact my motor functions???” thinking

which is unhealthy ok

beyond unhealthy lmao that’s what you’re sure of

and then you graduated film school!!!

the opportunities you were promised of when you were still studying?? aha zero :D

the idea that once you graduate film school and you iMMEDIATELY have the job of whatever you majored such as directing or screenwriting and etc.,,,,, that is a whole load of bull-

:D

it’s a hierarchy

you’ve graduated with LATIN HONORS and u persevered for three years with your major in directing and u wore a really nice dress for your ceremony :))))

and now you’re fetching coffee and making twenty calls in a half hour and running around to set things up :)))))

an intern :)))))

the only ones who immediately become what they’ve studied for has sOME sort of tie and pull to the industry

you may have made a thesis film that’s ranked the highest in the history of all thesis films in your university :)) and you may have had submitted it to film competitions and got approved and got some plaques :)))

but no that doesn’t mean a sINGLE bit once you’re out in the real world

you’re just taking whatever you get

i mean you dID want to work your way up in the film industry

like as in the movie industry??? the one you went to film school for?????

but what you are doing now :)) is working as an intern for this huge company that handles tv commercials and adverts and shoots :))

aHA not exactly the film industry but atleast it’s still within the media industry, right??

right???

pls say right

anyways

the agenda for today is this watch shoot!!

there’s a tv commercial to be produced out of it and there would also be multiple shoots for the models who’d be here

you dressed up extra good today :D

it wouldn’t matter but atleast it’s the thought that counts somehow

your company’s official lanyard kinda sucks and you can’t change the lace for it nO matter what but it’s no pressure!! your outfit’s gonna make up for it

there’s not exactly a dress code for interns,, it just goes for the terms as long as:

a) it’s still work-appropriate

b) this is a simultaneously unspoken yet obvious rule bUt you just need some boundaries,,,, you can’t stroll up into the set looking like the executive producer or the director who looks a lil bit fancy

c) you shouldn’t attract attention so much because you’re an intern :)) even if that iS the sole purpose of the intern because otherwise how would you land a more secure and higher-ranking job???? are they thinking or-

it’s a black shirt!!!

groundbreaking

but it’s a nice black shirt with embroidery in the front!!!

it’s just n i c e embroidered in the front and uH right on the middle of your chest area that’s clothed obviously but that’s cool

simple, casual, effortless, tINY bit fun

you also aren’t an intern with black pants

but no this is a nICER pair of pants

they’re like slacks!! like fitted slacks but not too fitted and not too formal

you wanted to wear it in tan but that’s not exactly optimized for your job because you are literally always in the go

it’s always just ease of movement in your clothes

and if you could dash in them in getting coffee or whatever the fuck the production team wants or look for duct tape and print lacking scripts like a madman, then you’re good to go :D

you caved in buying those nurse shoes that are raved about because you’re on your feet almost 24/7 and slip-on vans would not always save ur life

ur always wearing ankle support socks too because you’d rather look like an athlete misplaced in a commercial shoot rather than crying at home with how sore your body and most eSPECIALLY your legs are

that can’t stop you either

so now,,, you’re wearing cute socks on top of the support

it’s barely noticeable but it’s the effort you put in ok

and to be extra presentable, you traded your digital watch for the day with your watch that looks a little bit more classy with the silver!!!

it’s an analog watch with a really nice and shiny silver watch strap and although normally ur mind takes tWO seconds to buffer and read it as opposed to instantly knowing the exact time with a digital one, it’s worth it :D

it better be

you can get atleast one glance from park jimin and your life would be forever fulfilled

you signed a non-disclosure agreement once it was presented because after all

wHO WOULDN’T GUSH WHEN THEY KNEW THE LINE-UP FOR THIS SHOOT????

park jimin!!!

kim taehyung!!!

jung hoseok!!!

that’s the only three you knew so far

because they said that you’d know the other ones who are participating for the shoot once it actually happens

and that could mean two things

either you don’t know them at all oR they’d be really really famous and this ensures that you wouldn’t breach the nda you signed

hmmmm jimin’s kinda cute you’re not gonna lie :))

you can’t laze around in the job though because your walkie-talkie’s already bearing your name again and you’re being summoned now

this may be a blessing in disguise tho

you’re one of the interns who get called and noticed frequently and although that means mORE WORK, that also means you’re more trusted and more likely to secure the job you’re aspiring for!!!

“Y/N. There’s some extra copies of the shoot schedule by one of the makeup tables. Bring it over to me in the brief room.”

“of course!!! :D”

that’s one of your favorite producers specifically calling for you in the radio

he also talks very formally

you’ve always been a little bit close to mr. hyun bin because you were a bit of the teacher’s pet back in uni!!! he served as a professor while also being a producer and HE’S the reason you got accepted immediately as an intern here anyway!!

they’re always in the blue folders and that’s what you’re looking for very eagerly right now

because uHHHH there seems to be about a hundred makeup tables right now and mr. hyun didn’t exactly specify where

ok now where could that be

okay no it’s not on the table

lmao you find them sitting by a chair in front of the makeup table and you need to get it before someone sITS and dents the folder because mr. hyun gets a bit cranky when the folder isn’t smooth

“But the folder’s job is to keep the documents inside it smooth. If the folder’s damaged, then that also means that the contents inside it, is also damaged to a degree.”

no he said that

he literally said that once

if you could read thoughts in the air then mr. hyun probably speaks in proper punctuation AND capitalization

you found the schedule

and you also found this guy dressed in a really nice suit who looks very breathtaking

.... and is frustrated?

NOW HE LOOKS VERY FAMILIAR!!! you just can’t remember the name right now

he must be a talent because no one else is wearing the same suit that he is and his visuals are just beyond gorgeous so that must be it

he’s hunched on his makeup chair alone???

and there’s something on his hand and he keeps dipping his finger to his cupped hand and keeps squinting to the mirror in front of him and

oh

OH

“do you need help, sir?”

yoongi almost jumps out from his chair because oh my god are you-

oh huh.,., you’re not his personal assistant

you see

contact lens would be the absolute BANE of yoongi’s whole existence

he just can’t put it in

he’s said that sO many times to people who find him frustrating over it and whenever they make a “that’s what she said” joke it just makes him want to poke his eyeballs

“no, no. uh it’s okay!! i just can’t aGH shit i just need to learn how to put these cursed contacts in.”

oh he’s cute

like real cute

“name?”

wait wHAT

he’s a bit perplexed because why are you asking for his name

and uh quick question wHY don’t you know his name

not to brag but yoongi,,,, he knows to himself that he’s a world-renowned model!!! he’s done countless shoots!!! he’s appeared in so many things!!!!! why don’t you-

ok he’s being a little bit boastful in his head now

“min yoongi.”

he just states his name and he doesn’t get how would that help with his problem right now

you’ve asked because you’re searching for his name by the schedule and you’re just absent-mindedly muttering his name as you search for it

“min yoongi min yoongi min yOU OH!!! oh!!!! min yoongi!!!!!”

lmao alright that’s it

you remember him immediately and it clicks with you that oh my god this is min yoongi!!!!

that’s the reaction he was initially looking for but it’s okay he’s just gonna be humble about it

“okay well first of all, it says here that you’re about to be called in nine minutes from now so hOW about i just give you a hand, hmm??”

that is not exactly a request

because even before yoongi could like half-heartedly agree (he wants to do it so badly but he can’t) and thank you, you’re already pulling his palm towards yours

“the solution’s drying out,,, how long have you been trying to get it in?”

he hears you ask him in a teasing voice and he kinda frowns at that because well NOW he’s too embarrassed to answer :((

you’re wordlessly grabbing the solution that’s on his desk before you squirt some on your curved palm and plucking out the lens that used to be on his palm

“you have to clean it first.”

“mhmm....,., yes.,.,.., i know that.”

a little bit

jUST a little bit

“you clean it first in these motions, see?? don’t rub it clockwise or anything like that”

ooh so that’s how it goes

he doesn’t want to be rude but he thinks that you’re not the director of this shoot

and there’s nothing bad about that!!!! he just wouldn’t know how to feel if the director were to see him frustrated over contact lens and they’d be the one to do it for him

“pick it up like a bowl!! make sure that the ends of it turn iNWARDS, okay?? inwards!!! if the ends poke out then it would literally hurt so much and maybe you’d be blind”

oh

YOONGI DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT UNTIL NOW

so that’s where he went wrong for like five times,,,,,

“never put it in dry, okay? otherwise it would hurt too.”

that’s it yoongi’s taking this girl’s words down

he doesn’t know wHO you are but he appreciates you

“now tilt your head down a little bit for me :))”

yoongi bows his head and it kinda makes you snort because he was serious with that one

“nO NO just a little bit, mr. min.”

you have your thumb on his chin just to get it to the right position

he will d-word right now oh my god is he a dummy

how could you pOSSIBLY put the contacts on him if his head was hung that low

in any angle though, he looks so nice

he has long eyelashes too and they’re pointing downwards so that may add on to his problem

“now look up”

whew oh god you need to avert your eyes a little bit because you’re just realizing now that this is mIN YOONGI you’re dealing with right now

“or at me!! yeah that would work too :))”

yoongi’s just killing it with his social cues huh :)))))))))

you’re placing delicately the lens by his sclera and yoongi kinda panics and is at the same excited because this is dEFINITELY HAPPENING

“ok calm dOWN and now move your eye until the contact clings and keep moving it still even if you’ve got it already for like eight seconds!!!”

he did it

well technically yOU DID IT

BUT STILL!!!!!

“oh my god that is the qUICKEST thing ever omg now the other eye!! do the other eye!!! :D”

he’s so giddy over you putting on his contact lens and he doesn’t even know you and you just feel so familiar to him!!

yoongi trusts you with his contact lens and that’s enough trust you’d ever need

“aaaaand we’re done!! :D”

“thank you!! what’s your n-“

alright that is mr. hyun asking for a follow-up in the walkie-talkie by asking where’s the schedules and that means you immediately have to dash to the briefing room :))

yoongi didn’t even catch your name :((

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to him :((

you didn’t get to see yoongi for the rest of the shoot because after you’ve delivered the papers, you were then summoned to take care of the catering company that’s gonna do it’s second rounds and to facilitate whatever they needed to do :((((

it’s a bummer though

you dIDN’T even get to see the actual shoot get done because you were too busy verifying the payments if those fish fingers are really priced like that in the receipt you were given :((

you’re probably never gonna see him again

there’s another shoot you’ve been called for again the next week and this time, it was for a luxury brand that’s releasing it’s summer line and the settings for it were a beach AND a swimming pool

they couldn’t have just become satisfied with a beach and had to add on a fancy pool filled with chlorine and then more chlorine for the sets

“Y/N, do you know how to swim?”

mr. hyun asks you so casually as your only task as of now is to stand beside him as he lists things and you check it off in your clipboard

“hmm. i do know how to swim, mr. hyun, but not professionally, y’know?? they don’t exactly teach dives in film school”

he laughs at that and you smile at that because good for you :))

“Good. Because we’re gonna need someone to keep these floaties still, and the lifeguard’s out, and here’s a rashguard.”

what

what in the actual fUCK

you see

although this is for a summer line and a summer shoot

yOU’RE SHOOTING IN JANUARY

and you came into work today not thinking that you’re gonna be in a frEEZING pool wearing a rashguard underneath your shirt to keep these floaties still!!!!

you love your job you love your job you love your job!!!!!

maybe if you say it enough, it’s gonna come true!!!!!

“oH ITS YOU AGAIN!!!”

hold up

that’s

“yoongi????”

“cONTACT GIRL!!!!!”

the both of you are genuinely surprised to see each other ok

at this point, you should automatically assume that yoongi would always be the undisclosed model in your shoots

you’re looking up at him and he’s looking down on you because CLEARLY he is not in the freezing pool as you are

“i’d let you put in my contacts right now, but it doesn’t exactly make a good addition to chlorine :]”

the water’s freezing but yoongi just makes it warmer :))

mr. hyun’s saying the directions to you as to where in the pool you should place yoongi and the floatie’s slippery and you dON’T want to risk getting the clothes wet because it’s not intended.,..,. even if this is a summer shoot

he has a tough crowd (you) and you’re just kinda deadpanning because you now feel you aRE a little bit embarrassed even if this is your job and u shouldn’t be

“i’m kidding!! jus kidding :D”

humor doesn’t exactly click when you’re about waist-deep and aBOUT to be shoulder-deep into freezing cold water

and now since you look a fool, you’re just gonna deal with the slippery floatie and yoongi notices so he’s the one who takes your hand instead as he nudges you to move

:] i was just joking pls don’t hate me :]

you stop the moment mr. hyun says sTOP that’s perfect and before you could awkwardly waddle yourself away from the camera’s view-

“is your face just good and the sunscreen you used is matte, or do you just not have any sunscreen on??”

yoongi asks with much concern as if it’s the most important thing in the world and he doesn’t have a shoot to do

“i don’t have-...”

“no? oh come on, contact girl!! come here for a second!!!”

you look to mr. hyun because Sir is it really and he’s just screaming back with his eyes going gO COME TO MIN YOONGI

you’re confused and before you know it, yoongi’s reaching for you and digging into his pocket and-

“sunscreen stick!! the sun’s always there even if it’s freezing, y’know?”

this time, it’s yoongi tilting your chin up and very delicately swipes the stick on your face and even taps it in

:))

“all done!! let’s start the shoot!!”

he claps up and everybody gets into position and you have to waddle back to your spot awkwardly with your cheeks heating up

you don’t know if it’s yoongi’s power move to swipe his own sunscreen sticks on people but it fEELS LIKE IT IS

he’s very well-aware of what he’s done and he now has every intention to ask you what’s your name after this

although tHAT doesn’t happen again because now mr. hyun’s telling you to come up and get all dried down because after this, he’s gonna need you to ask the front desk if you could access more of their amenities for the sudden changes in the shoot :(((

yoongi almost doesn’t want to leave the set because you’re out again :((( and he still hasn’t had the chance to ask you your name

uGH it’s just so unfair :(((

you feel the same way and you just wanna see him!!! even if he’s only gonna tease you for most of the time and you’re gonna be a blushing mess throughout!!!

you’re cranky ok

you’re more cranky than how mr. hyun gets with dented folders

you’ve had two back-to-back shoots this week and you’ve only had ONE hour of sleep for the whole time

seriously

not to mention that you thought you’d also see yoongi in atleast one of those projects :(( but it was a no-go either

your job is just sO demanding

it starts earlier and ends later than how the printed schedules say and is much more different than the talent’s

speaking of talents, these artists are just pure out LATE and not only are they setting a bad impression on the director!!!!

but they are also the reason for the bane of your existence!!!you call their drivers non-stop to ask for the whereabouts and to adjust the catering’s schedule and the amends that you need to make for people

they make your job harder and your hours longer and your fatigue greater

you actually feel like you’re gonna pASS OUT

mr. hyun’s the one who’s assigning you to these projects and as MUCH as you’re thankful because that means better pay and more exposure and more experience,,, he’s really not seeing the fatigue he’s putting you thru right now

you forgot your ankle support,,,, you have nOT eaten three meals today,,,, you haven’t drank water for hours,,,,, you fEEL like you’re gonna pass out

and someone’s just called you over again to deliver these hair pins to this specific trailer asap and oh god your ankles are just gonna fall off at this point

ok quick knock and you enter and-

“hmm?? oh, it’s okay!! we don’t need it anymore. someone else already brought in new ones :))”

fu-

“cONTACT GIRL!!!!!!”

if you took a moment to read the name that’s by the front of the trailer, you’d know that this is yoongi’s trailer and the makeup artists just went straight to his,, instead of him coming to them because he just can’t be damned to stand and walk over there :D

the makeup artist you were talking to moved out of the way so the both of you could see each other and sO yoongi could also stop stretching his neck out to the max

they’re finishing up anyway

his contact lens case was held by this makeup artist and she was about to put em in and yoongi snatched back the case :))

“here!!! put them on me!!!”

okay that’s a bit awkward for the other girl yikes.,.,. she’s just uh gonna exit the trailer with the other makeup artists now

“hi.”

you only greet back now as you get the case for him and yoongi frowns at that

why aren’t you cheery???? he’s used to you being more enthusiastic than him so wHY is he the one carrying the conversation (that hasn’t been even started) that’s already dwindling out

you’re getting really really sluggish and this sudden heavy wave of sleepiness is really hitting you

you dO look kinda hazy

“are you okay??”

yoongi’s holding you by the sides of your arms and your eyes are blinking so slowly as you try to nod but that just won’t cut it for him

“well i think yOU need to rest”

he’s standing up and is about to put you onto his sofa so you could like perhaps nap a minute or two since he knows fatigue when he sees it

but by the looks of it, he can’t even make you lie down because you’re already sitting down

sitting down

on his lap

oN HIS LAP

this is really.,.,...nice

yoongi’s a bit shocked and there aren’t any sentences forming in his head besides “what’s your name, contact girl???” as if that is the mOST pressing issue right now

“ᶦ’ᵐ ʸ/ⁿ” is what you could only practically mumble because this pillow is really soft and warm and heavenly and u want nothing more at the moment than to be buried in it

yoongi has never felt this soft

ever

there’s you accidentally falling asleep on him

literally ON him

and his hands are still hovering but he decides to relocate them on your back, rubbing small circles and even patting softly

your hair smells really good too

he must’ve been to engrossed in it as you burst awake some minutes later and you almost bump his jaw on your way up

“oh my gOD did i just pass out on your lap???”

well you’re still sat on his lap and you’re scrambling away while you’re still groggy and he has to reach for you before you could topple over

“no problem!! it’s cool i sWEAR!!!”

he quickly explains what’s happened and how he’s close with hyun bin and how he literally conversed for like two seconds and your producer immediately agreed

yoongi just said “hEY mr. hyun!!! y/n works for you, right?? i’m SO sorry if this isn’t in my position to ask but y’know she did just kinda pass out and i was wondering if she could just lay down in my trailer for awhile??”

within two minutes mr. hyun apparently went to the trailer and delivered your backpack and he keeps in mind to apologize to you later on and hmmmmm is there anything going on between you and yoongi???

“are there any pillows?”

underneath the cushion the both of you are sitting at, there is a shit tON of pillows he just keeps there

there’s memory foam!! cotton!! feather!! a hybird of those two!!!

yoongi decides to answer and he delivers it with the straightest answer possible

“... no.”

he quickly clears his throat as he looks to his lap and taps on it so you could lie down on him!!

you think you like yoongi :)))

yoongi is positive that he likes you :)))

you stand up for a moment and he panics because nO where are you going??? but it was just for you to retrieve your phone and grab your earphones!!

you kind of have an irrational fear of buying airpods and that shit just falling every two seconds and then you could nEVER find it

and so here you are :)) offering yoongi an earphone as you lay your head on his lap

there’s just something so familiar with the melody

the lyrics

the vOICE

so familiar to the point that yoongi’s heart practically drops because oh god

tHAT’S HIM

THAT’S HIM IN HIS OTHER JOB THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT

“this suga guy.,, i like him.”

“o-oH???”

yoongi doesn’t know whether he should feel jealous because you like this suga guy

but he doesn’t know shit because he IS that suga guy!!!

and so his mind’s fuzzy and all-conflicted as you babble on, about to be lulled to sleep again

“once i get to make a film, like an actual full-length film and jUST not a thesis film,,,, i’m hiring him,,,, i don’t care if he consumes like 80% of my budget for that film iM HIRING HIM!!!”

yoongi’s about to practically combust right now

he’s grinning from ear-to-ear, looking down on you who he’s grown fond of so much so fast and is lying down on his lap, his thumb pressing down on your cheek softly as he tilts his head

“do you wanna know a secret?”

[pedantichoe]

Rhythm of War spoilers under the cut

...

Perfect I’m glad that actually worked :)

1. WHAT THE NUTS?!2?:??:?:? I’VE LOST MY GOSHDANG MARBLES NOT TO MENTION SEVERAL PIECES OF MY SOUL AND ALL MY SANITY (clearly since I already said marbles r gone) HEAD IS EMPTY FELLAS

I’m honesty just still at a loss for words. The implications every major investiture-related reveal has are enormous. The light. The harmonies. The spren experiments??? Ishar what the eff word are you doing dude!??!???

I was under the delusion that there was going to be a mega battle between Moash and Kaladin at the end of the book that was gonna be Uber painful but then have that allow Kaladin to swear the fourth ideal (in my head it was smth like Dalinar v Odium in Oathbringer but I am aware that would be way too clean a parallel and branderson just doesn’t work like that). INSTEAD we got an altercation that caused me to BAWL MY EYES OUT FOR FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES

Some lead-up. Somewhere around the time Moash got the spren-killing dagger I could just feel an awful build-up of tension and anxiety. I may not be able to hear the rhythms of Roshar but let me tell you if I could..... I would be attuned to terrors m8. So anyways I knew shit was gonna go DOWN but I didn’t know exactly what. Then Moash got the knife and my brain was just like “if he kills Sylphrena....” but I was just like HHHHH GOTTA KEEP READING

I’ll need to go downstairs and actually grab my book at some point to make sure I have the timeline right but there was a point where I had to set the book down and do some breathing exercises and walk around a little. And then Oho boy. When Teft walked in and saw Moash I just... I lost it a little. And then what actually happened????? My dogs woke me up at 5 AM and as I’m struggling out of some weird cosmere-related dream I remember whag Moash did and I’m just sitting there in the dark dogs whining to go out -crying- because how could he do that how could he how could he

And I know at the start of the book when Godeke or whatever edgedancer came to get Kal out of the manor fire was standing in the doorway and Moash had some kind of.... bit of his soul? Smth??? Show a version of who he /could/ be (wait that wasn’t Renarin was it cuz that would make sense...... hmmmmmmmm). That COULD mean he will have some opportunity at redemption which. If there is ANYBODY I trust to do it well and with feeling, it’s Brandon, but also a huge part of me does NOT. WANT. HIM. REDEEMED. I want him crushed and broken in every way with the full weight of what he did bearing down upon him but also hhhhhhh I’m sure we will get smth much cooler than anything I could think up ANYWAY

Why are the splits between paragraphs getting so big tumblr what is wrong with you

See this one is normal

Okay ANYWAYS

Kaladin. Bitch this man is a LOT. he’s just. I think the thing I appreciate most about these books is that the heroes aren’t perfect. They’re often damaged. Feel broken. And IN that they expand upon their ideals and ultimately make the first one just such an inspiring message. Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.

So Kaladin. He is just uhhhh amazing??? What I think truly encapsulates what I love about him is when it’s just he and Syl and the stonecast statue of Teft. The sadness is still there and I know it hurts him so much. But the guilt? The ability to grow in your losses and find yourself stronger and more human and more understanding because of it??? Ultimately THAT is where Moash and Odium are wrong. Kaladin and Dalinar have found and CONTINUE to find how to grow in their pain. How to not just deal with, but ACCEPT and OWN their pain and sorrow. They are finding the peace that Odium would have brought through numbness and loss. I don’t really know how to phrase this exactly how I would like. But I’m proud of this message. Im glad for this message.

When Wit helps Kaladin into that warm bubble and tells him he will be warm again, that just hit. The message in these books is about oaths and ideals and promises. It’s about growing into something so much more than you ever could have dreamed, and NOT by giving up your pain or your guilt or your loss or your anger to someone who would leave you a shell as a byproduct. When Teft died he died full of hope. He knew he was forgiven. He didn’t lose to Moash, to Odium, to the moss or to anyone or anything else. He lived and died with Honor. And in doing so proved that the power to change existed within him. It just needed support. Like a small flame. You can’t leave it open to the winds, or it will extinguish, but it DOES need air. It does need to be stoked to grow. Teft did it. So can you.

I went on both Instagram and Snapchat to try and talk about how deeply connected I feel to these books and the messages and characters in them. I wasn’t nearly as eloquent as I would have liked. But at the end of the day I am so grateful for how I’ve been able to grow and change and be shaped by my trials and experiences. I didn’t spend this year in as dark of a place as Kaladin, but I did feel trapped and stuck. I felt like a failure. I felt weak and angry and like there was no way to get to where I had been. Like I couldn’t remember the words.

And not just this book, but so many things in my life have helped me to see that I am valid and I am growing and I will stumble and make mistakes but through it all, the oaths that I have made, and the ideals that I keep are what make me me, and will continue to temper my soul and my spirit as I go along this journey.

I don’t need everyone to love these books as much as I do. Or feel as strongly about the messages or be as affected by the characters, the plot, and the INSANELY good writing. But I hope everyone has, finds, and clings to what makes them warm. What brings them light. We all make mistakes. We all will continue to mess up. We need to be corrected and shaped and we need to grow and change. But I for one am sick of hating people on principle. I’m sick of the feeling in my stomach like the world is falling to shit and that nothing I do or say will ultimately have any positive effect. I’m sick of living in a shade-darker world where I hate everything and feel like I should hate everything. I’m sick of being angry.

As a related side note. As we get to know more about the shards I hope someone makes a “which shard of Adonalsium are you!” Quiz because that would be very interesting. As is?? This year I have been Odium. I am passionate. But I am angry. I am so so angry. And I don’t -want- to be so angry anymore. I want to have hope. I want to follow light. I want to CHOOSE life and strength and journey and I want to sacrifice what I need to to get there. Kaladin’s fourth ideal is recognizing he can’t save everyone. I want to follow the ideal that those out there deserving of love and compassion outweigh my need to feel angry and unjust at those that destroy those things. I’ll work on phrasing as I go. I’m not quite ready to swear it, but the words are coming. I can feel them.

What Maya did was reveal that in the darkest of times for Radiants and their bonds, there was a choice that was made. And -no one,- spren, god, or otherwise, can take away the fact that it was THEIR choice. It is my choice whom I serve. It is my choice what I sacrifice and what I hold on to. And I will not let the voices of those telling me I have to hate everything and everyone take charge over me.

I hope everyone out there finds their ideals. And keeps to them. And knows that there is hope and light and life. That there is strength before weakness. And courage before cowardice. And a journey before their destination.

And that ultimately, the most important words a person can say are: “I will do better.” And the most important step they can take is the next one.

Life before death. Always. Life before death.