#uhhh hmm what else

[inkykeiji]

random question that u don’t have to answer! how would you describe your aesthetic/vibe?

that is such a good and difficult question to answer!!! i don’t really fit into one specific aesthetic if we’re going off of the ones listed on the aesthetic wiki but i really love:

any of the ‘academias’ (dark academia, light academia, writer academia, ballet academia etc)

angelcore albeit very slightly

coquette (in particular: nymphet; vamp; waif; winter fairy coquette; vintage americana)

balletcore

pink parisian / french girly / romantic italian

so in terms of my personal style and day-to-day fashion, it’s kind of a big messy mix of all of these hahaha <3 i’d say the coquette blend is the most prominent in my fashion style out of all of the aesthetics listed above, but they all influence my look and exist within it in some way c:

[ricopop]

it looks like ur writing a resume.. could you PASS the sweet potatoes ??!!???

clippy design by @superbellsubways :-))

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I had a dream where a 3rd J.udgment game was announced and M.ine showed up for one split second in the reveal trailer with this super hot evil smirk on his face and Twitter was going batshit crazy over it

Then I woke up and got really disappointed

[owwi]

Fun fact about me and if I played the Stanley parable

I already know I would be unable to get all the endings for the simple reason of I don’t like making most video game characters suffer and narrator is cool. trust me when I say that I would cry if I ever did any of the sad endings and I rarely cry at things I would just be unable to take it

[parakeetpark]

Day 3 of my eye twitching for many hours. Double checked it online bc it's never lasted this long before, website says it's stress or caffeine

[letstrip13]

🧼 - dirty dishes

summary: needy!matt wants to help you with the dishes

warnings: smutttt, unprotected sex, uhhh i think that's it

word count: 1,506

author's note: this was going to be a blurb but it's actually a fic now because i said so. also i think it's way too long to be a blurb now anyways

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warm sunshine beams through the open blinds of the kitchen window above the sink. warm water is rushing out of the faucet as suds and bubbles start to form around the piles of dishes.

you're standing in front of it, watching and waiting for it to fill up. you had cuddled with matt for a while until he had fallen asleep next to you; the poor boy had been so tired from constant meetings about merch and filming a car video late into the night. chris had went to the warehouse to check the new fresh love samples and nick was in a meeting about the next steps for space camp.

so while everyone was busy, you decided to help the boys out by tidying up the kitchen and living room. the living room was finished, everything back in its place now. the kitchen was almost done, it would be as soon as you did the dishes. you could've just used the dishwasher but unfortunately, it wasn't working right at the moment and needed to be repaired.

now, here you are, standing at the sud-filled sink while using a dish sponge to scrub the plates from last night’s dinner. the sink has two sides so one is soaking with soapy water while the faucet is turned to the other, empty side so you can rinse the dishes off without flooding the sink.

you get into sort of a rhythm, forgetting everything else around you and only focusing on the task at hand. you feel a warm hand slip around your waist and you jump, the sharp knife falling from your grip and clattering in the sink as a yelp escapes your lips. you turn to see your boyfriend with an apologetic smile on his face, running his hand through his hair, still messed up from his nap. all he’s wearing is a pair of blue plaid pajama pants, having removed his shirt due to the heat in his bedroom.

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he says in a husky, still-tired voice. “it’s okay,” you reply with a soft smile before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. you notice his eyes rake over your body, taking in the sundress you’re wearing; a pretty pastel green with tie-up straps, little bows resting on your shoulders.

he doesn’t say anything so you turn back around to finish up washing the dishes. “i’m almost done, love. what do you wanna do after?” “hmm i don’t know..” he trails off as his arms snake around your waist. he presses hot kisses to your neck, murmuring in between, “need any help with that?”

your cheeks heat up in a blush as you feel his lips graze the sweet spot on your neck. “i’ve only got like four bowls left. why don't you go get dressed? maybe we can go out and do something.” a sort of whine escapes him and he presses himself closer to you so you can feel his clothed bulge against your ass.

you put down the dish you were holding, not being able to focus on anything other than him. “matt-” “please, need you so bad.” it seemed like his mood had done a full 180, but you weren't entirely complaining. “i’m almost done,” you reassure him.

he starts moving his hips, grinding so slow and subtle that you hardly even notice at first. he reaches a hand up your skirt as he does this, slowly pushing your panties away from your slick folds. his fingers gently tease you, earning a small moan from you. “can't you finish this later? need you now,” he practically begs.

you want to say yes right then and there; the way his finger is slowly circling your clit while not quite touching right on it is enough to make you melt in his arms. but you want to see how bad he really wants this, you love the way he gets needy for you.

since you’d been continuing to wash the dishes throughout this interaction, you were now almost done. matt lets out a whine of impatience as he watches you, still pressing his body against yours. you grind your ass back against his clothed bulge, stifling a smirk as he groans from the contact.

“i can't take it anymore,” he mumbles. but all he does is hold your hip tighter. “well, why don't you do something about it?” you tease, “you've just been standing behind me the whole time, barely doing anything.”

that's all it takes. with a sudden burst of desire, he quickly turns you around to face him and heatedly kisses your lips. he pulls away a few moments later, leaving you with a stunned expression on your face. “not so cocky now, are you, princess?” he lets out a small chuckle. he pushes the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his hands immediately coming up to palm your tits, squeezing them in his hands a little. “are you sure you want to do this right here?” you simply nod but he stares down into your eyes. “words, sweetheart. i wanna hear you say it.” “yes.”

that one word was enough for him and he moves his hands to your hips to spin you around so your back is to him. he reaches up your skirt and pulls your panties down, letting them fall to your ankles. you can hear him fumbling with the fabric of his pajama pants. you bend over and pull your skirt up, getting ready for him. suddenly, you remember to turn the tap off just before you feel the tip of his cock as it brushes against your entrance.

you share a moan as he slowly pushes into you, filling you up. luckily, he doesn’t take his sweet time teasing you like usual; you know that chris and nick could come home any minute. almost as if he read your mind, he speaks during his quick yet deep thrusts into you, “gotta make this quick, sweetheart.. don’t want my brothers to see you like this. i’m the only one who can.”

his hands trail from your hips to your tits, holding them in his warm palms as he continues to pound into you from behind. you moan as he hits just the right spot inside of you, like always. it’s not just a filling thing in the physical sense, but in an emotional way too. in the course of your relationship, you and matt have opened up to each other so much. you’ve gotten so comfortable with him that vulnerable situations don’t even feel vulnerable anymore. you just feel full, complete, happy.

his warms lips on your neck bring you back down to earth. there’s that familiar knot forming in your stomach and by the way his thrusts are getting faster and less rhythmic, you can tell he’s feeling the same way. your moans have grown in volume and he’s thrown his head back in pleasure. you tightly grip onto the counter, bracing yourself as that wonderful feeling washes over you. your walls clench around his cock as you cry out his name.

he follows right behind you, spilling his release into you as his movements fade to a slow rut of his hips. he buries his face in the crook of your neck, planting kisses there as you both recover from your blissful highs.

the sound of a key in the front door quickly jolts the both of you back to reality. he quickly pulls out and tucks his now half-soft dick back into his pants. you rush to pull your underwear back up and pull the straps of your dress back onto your shoulders to cover yourself. you both attempt to fix your messy hair and catch your breath as nick’s laughter echoes as he comes up the stairs.

“hey guys. how’d everything go?” you ask trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, trying to ignore the feeling of matt’s cum slowly seeping out of you and soaking your panties.

nick tells you that the meeting went really well and everything is going great with space camp but chris seems less than thrilled because the fresh love hoodies didn’t turn out quite right. chris suddenly notices that the living room and kitchen look much different than when he left. his gaze falls on you. “did you do all this?”

“yeah, i was up early and thought i’d give you guys one less thing to worry about.” the both of them thank you profusely, saying you didn’t have to. “it’s fine, really. matt helped me.” matt who had remained silent until now coughs and cracks a weak smile, croaking out a soft, “yeah.”

“must’ve been some hard work. you look like you just ran ten laps around the house.” you and matt exchange a look, internally grateful by how absolutely oblivious his brothers could be. “yeah, something like that..” he mumbles as he turns the faucet on to finish those last few utensils and a bowl that you had abandoned.

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requests are: open :) so leave one for a fic or blurb you'd like to see from me

check out my masterlist for more!!

join my taglist!!

[avcdgrdn]

── .✦ [ FIC ]: can i really stay here? [ part three ]

[ part one & part two ]

mullet stanley pines x innkeeper reader

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, sfw

word count: 1765

˙✧˖° ༘ ⋆｡˚

he was so obviously staring at you.

it was a crisp fall morning, and a light sweat formed on your brow as you swept the floor by the front desk. you’d been at it for a while, and about halfway through, stan had meandered down the stairs and happened to see you. presently, he was casually leaning against the wall, and you could feel his eyes on your back.

there were moments where you’d turn your head in his direction, and he would jolt and quickly look the other way. you rolled your eyes amusedly, wondering what he could be thinking of.

after a moment of thought, you spoke up, your gaze still focused on the broom in your hands. “so, whatcha doin’, stan?”

there was nobody else in the lobby, so he didn’t really have a good excuse to pull out of his back pocket. he looked up, drumming his fingers against the wall. “uhhh … nothin’. what’s it to ya?”

“you know, you can come closer if you want to.” you shook your head, chuckling. the broad-built man sighed in defeat, pushing himself off of the wall and walking over to lean against the front desk instead.

as you continued to sweep, he pursed his lips, fidgeting with the edge of his t-shirt. “hey, uh. i been thinkin’.”

you gave him a glance over your shoulder. “yeah?”

one of his hands wandered up to his shaggy mullet, tugging absentmindedly at chocolate brown hairs. “well, i’ve been stayin’ with you for a few days now … and i really appreciate your help. i … i’m still tryin’ ta think of ways to make a buck, but … a–anyway, what’s i’m saying is—”

he stammered, blushing faintly as he averted his gaze. it was frustratingly difficult to be so open and honest.

“ … is–is there any way i could help you out? since i’m not payin’ at all …”

you straightened, turning to fully face him. his desire to settle his debt was endearing, but you knew in your heart that he really didn’t owe you anything. you wanted him to have someone to watch out for him, someone to care about him.

someone to … love him.

“i really appreciate it, but it’s okay.” you grinned, warm with compassion.

stan blinked, and he suddenly found that his heart was aching in his chest again. just as it had at the diner, as it had when he took that key from your hand …

his square jaw clenched shut as your genuine empathy pierced into him like daggers.

“please.”

he almost sounded desperate.

“i, uh. i just don’t like ta feel useless.”

after studying his expression for a moment, your smile softened.

“okay.” swiftly, you extended the broom towards him, raising your brows. “wanna finish sweeping in the lobby? i can start on the dusting.”

immediately, he lit up. “alright, angel. i’ll sweep this place so good, you’d never guess that anyone’s set foot in it.”

taking hold of the broomstick, the brunet got to work, happily gathering dust bunnies, crumbs, and random bits of trash that various customers had left behind. you rummaged around in the supply closet for the duster, pulling it out and starting to clean up different decorative objects and shelftops.

the soft music emanating from the record player served to create a peaceful atmosphere. occasionally, one or two patrons would pass through, but for the most part, it was quiet.

after you’d taken care of all the dusty surfaces in the room, you put the duster away, lighting a pumpkin spice scented candle and carefully placing it on a table in the center of the lobby.

“hmm ... wow, that’s nice.” stan hummed, clearly affected by the calming aroma.

“i know, right? i love having this scent in the fall–”

you stopped abruptly upon seeing the perfectly clean floors. it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes, and yet all of it was spotless.

“wow, stan, you made quick work of that! good job!”

stanley puffed out his chest, clearly smug and quite proud of himself, like a small child showing you a drawing they had worked hard on. “i told you. ain’t i helpful?”

“you’re a huge help, thank you.”

he hadn’t been praised like this in so long. he was practically glowing at this point.

“so, er … what else can i help ya with?” he stepped closer to you, hands on his hips.

you racked your brain in an attempt to think of what else needed to get done around the inn. “oh, i know. a shipment arrived for us earlier today, but they’re both heavy boxes that i can’t quite move on my own. would you w–”

“I’M ON IT! lead the way, sweetheart!”

“o–okay–” you led him around to the back to collect the packages, trying so hard not to let his pet names affect you. nonetheless, you were blushing like an idiot.

next thing you knew, you were watching him carry two heavy boxes with ease, one on each arm. he had rolled up his jacket sleeves, revealing his muscular forearms.

… it’s fall, right? it’s not supposed to be this hot in here.

“where to, toots?” he grunted, arching a brow.

“uh … the storage room. this way.” you were avoiding eye contact as much as possible. everything about this guy was attractive right now.

oh God, don’t let me die yet…

after the contents of the boxes were successfully unloaded and put away, the two of you sat at the kitchen bar, helping yourselves to the lunch that your chef had made. stan ate enthusiastically, probably in the best mood that you’d ever seen him in. why that was, exactly, you weren’t sure—you were too overwhelmed to figure it out. there was just something about the way he looked at you that was making you silently freak out.

i know that he’s been calling me names even since we first met. it seems like it’s just a thing that he does with everyone … but lately, they really don’t feel like just names.

i don’t know. am i going crazy? i might be. and yet …

chewing on a mouthful of rice, you snuck a sideways peek at the man beside you, admiring his chiseled jaw and dark brown hair. that is, until he caught you looking, and you nearly choked on your food.

“what? ‘s there somethin’ on my face?” he chuckled, his tone taunting.

“i, uh, i thought there might’ve been–but you’re fine. no worries.” bullcrap.

“hah, whatever you say.”

you continued to eat in silence. your fork was slipping in your hand.

just great. my palms are sweating.

this … hasn’t happened to you since high school. butterflies and blushing suddenly clouded your brain whenever he was close to you. how did it even start? he just walked into your life, and …

you were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t process stan calling your name for the third time in a row. it wasn’t until he put his hand on your shoulder that you snapped out of it.

“gh– huh?” your face was redder than a cherry tomato.

“hey, you alright? yer actin’ all spacey.” he was evidently concerned this time. “how many fingers am i holdin’ up?”

“f–four.” you exhaled, rubbing your temples with one hand. “i’m fine, just lost in thought, is all. thanks, stan.” you offered a small smile as you fought the raging butterflies in your stomach.

stan nodded in understanding, gently taking his hand off your shoulder.

“okay, just lemme know if you need anything.”

with that, he took care of his plate, rinsing it off in the sink before making his way up to his room. your chef walked into the kitchen, shooting you a look as you handed him your half-full plate.

“sorry, i don’t think i can eat any more. i’m feeling … nauseous.”

it was around six o’clock in the evening now, and you sat up in your personal living room on the very top floor of the inn, falling deeper and deeper into your thoughts.

do i … really like him that much?

am i in love?

you tangled your fingers into your hair, hunching over slightly.

but … so quickly? i’ve only known him for a number of days. is that a thing that happens!?

what if he doesn’t like me back? what if he flirts with everyone? what if he thinks i’m weird for liking him? does he know i like him?

just then, you heard a knocking on your door.

oh.

heart thudding violently in your chest, you swallowed your anxiety, standing up from your sofa to find out who it could be. you turned the doorknob, letting it swing open.

the first thing you saw was a beautiful bouquet of red tulips.

your gaze trailed up to find stanley’s broad figure, dressed in slacks and a flattering button-up top. he had pulled his hair back into a ponytail, although a few stray hairs remained out of place.

his brown eyes met your own, and your breath hitched in your throat.

“hey. listen, uh … these are for you, first of all.” he handed the bouquet to you, which you mindlessly accepted, being unable to look away from his face.

“i … wanted t’ properly say thank you. lettin’ me stay here has helped me get my mind right ‘nd allowed me to think about the important things.”

he took a breath.

“and, well … i figured out that you’re real important to me. so. i–i was wonderin’ if you’d wanna grab dinner tonight?”

“… dinner?”

“y–yeah, like a date–”

your cheeks flushed a dark shade of red, matching the tulips you held in your arms.

stan tripped over his words, staring at the floor. “and i, uh—i understand if you’re not interested–”

“no! i mean, yes! yes, i’m–i’m very interested.” you rushed to answer him, not fully realizing that a gleeful smile had broken out onto your expression. “i just … wow …”

he laughed, beaming with joy as he realized that the answer was yes. “oh, damn, i didn’t actually expect to get this far…!” gently, he scooped you into a snug embrace, lifting you off of your feet slightly. “thank you, angel.”

“... anything for you.” you murmured in reply, hugging him back for a sweet moment before the two of you stepped apart. “let me just get ready, then.”

“sounds good, doll. i’ll be waitin’ downstairs.”

and just like that, the door was shut, and you were left to stare at the red tulips in your hands.

end

[ part four ]

author's note:

screaming into a pillow kicking my feet giggling

i wrote this one so fast somehow ??? i had a vision

if you wanna be added to the tag list for updates, lmk!

tag list: @icouldntthinkofanythingclever @seahorrorz @blustalker @hay-needle @phanmai1002 @samanthastarss @bumblingbriars @arya-eats-chips @bihexualandferal @hello-i-like-owls @blurryface505 @ryethebrokengae

[skylarsblue]

★RDR2 Incorrect Quotes★

(If you see duplicates from my COD version of these? Shh, no you didn't) ★Border made by @fairytopea★

Ms.Grimshaw What are you doing, you oaf? Young!Arthur, staring at Y/N: They’re pretty. Ms.Grimshaw …and you’re ugly, now get back to work.

- (Pre-joining the gang) Abigail, trying to get paid: What’s your favorite color, John? John: Blue. No, green. Abigail: Awesome! I love learning about you. John: I fucked up, it’s yellow.

- Arthur, cutting a huge knot out of John’s hair: I fucked up, we gotta go bald. *head locks him still* Young!John, flailing violently: WAAAAAHHHH-

Seán: Psst, Lenny, ay mate, wake up! Lenny: Huh- Wh-what? What is it? Seán: I heard something outside the tent. Lenny: What? Seán: Like a woman crying in the distance, but I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Lenny: Okay?? What do you want me to do? Seán: Come look with me! Lenny: Hell no! Seán: Why not? Lenny: I got too much melanin and too much sense for that white people shit. You wanna let demons get you, be my guest, leave me out of it.

- (John HAD to have SOMETHING that captivated her, for humor’s sake? We’ll say he had jokes)

Abigail: You have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. Arthur: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Abigail: He makes me laugh.

- Micha: I've got the urge to say something. Arthur: And what's that? Micha: The N-Word- Arthur: WHOA-

- Bill: But seriously, is it your whole emo thing that she’s into or what? John: …yeah, long flowing straight hair, very emo.

- Karen: This- Hmm. Tilly: Be nice. Karen: I’m findin’ it. Mary-Beth: …it takes you that long to find- Karen: It does, it does.

- (O’Driscoll troubles) Kieran: Arthur we’re going to get murdered. We’re going to get murdered by a man who can’t tie a fucking bow tie. Arthur: At least he won’t torture us, can’t tie a rope either.

- John: Ugh, you know they’re gonna make us do one of those tacky family happiness photos that comes in the restaurants shitty frame. Tilly: Why are you so fucking negative all the time? John: Wh- uh- I just- Arthur: *slowly sucks tea through straw*

- Seán: Someone just said; “You’re a criminal!” Seán: *handkerchief on, gun in one hand, bag of money in the other* Seán: Well I’ll tell ya what, Sherlock Holmes. You are unbelievable.

- The Gang: Arthur is dying and Micha is a rat! Dutch, dancing with money: *insert that audio that goes “I don’t give a fuck cause I’m a ✨millionaire✨, I do what I want, middle finger in the air!”*

- John, drunk: You think the wind is ever tryna tell us something and we don’t know how to hear it anymore? Charles, loading up a drunk Arthur into a wagon: I just want you to stop saying odd shit.

- Abigail: If we lose, I’m gonna cut the judge. John: Wh- you brought your switchblade?? Abigail: Mhm. John: But they patted us down on the way in, where did you hide i- ohhhhhhh.

- Arthur: …you ever wish you could just, turn into a bird and fly away from everything? Charles: I think we need to get you to a therapist for depression. John: I’d wanna be a wolf. Charles: And we should get you psych evaluation for Autism.

- Sheriff: You seem like a reasonable and good natured person. Arthur: *looks around* And you look like you need glasses.

- Abigail: What would your father say?! Jack: Uhhh “I’ll fix it!” And then make it worse until luck comes around and makes it work, and then act like that was the plan the whole time? Abigail: …that’s my bad, I should’ve used a different phrase to express my disappointment.

- (I dunno why but John being super mean to some people is so fucking funny to me. I don't hate Bill, but bullying him is fun)

Bill: You enjoyin’ the wife everyone else paid to have? John: You mean the woman I never had to pay for? The woman who liked me so much, she didn’t ask for any money to sleep with me? In fact; she liked me so much, she married me? The woman who makes me a warm dinner and kisses me everyday? Mother of my child? John: I am enjoyin’ yeah. What about you, Bill? Bill: John: You enjoyin’ your lonely life, you unlovable sorry sack of shit? You enjoyin’ having to pay for someone to pretend they like you? Cause they never actually do. They hate you actually, like me. I hate you. Eat shit and die, Bill.

- Arthur: …him? Really? Mary-Beth Don’t be mean! Arthur: He looks like a rescue dog, Mary-Beth. Mary-Beth: I know, I like that! Arthur: ….you like that?? Mary-Beth: His pathetic wet eyes and general wimpy stature have captivated me. Arthur: *sigh* Whatever makes you happy.

- Bill: At the end of the day, Arthur. I am a MAN. Arthur: A MAN WHO’S GAY. You like fellers GETTHATTHROUGHYOURHEAD!

- Dutch: I have a plan. Hosea: You haven’t planned shit. Dutch: I’ve planned it.

- Hosea: Arthur! What on earth are you doing?! Young!Arthur: Getting rid of this demon. Young!John: *screeching and trying to get out of Arthur’s grip* Hosea: And why do you plan to get rid of him? Arthur: Because, Hosea! He woke me up by leaning over me and whispering, “I know what death feels like, it’s cold. Have you felt death?” Arthur: HE’S CLEARLY EVIL, HOSEA Hosea: That’s just how children are, Arthur. Dutch: He’s right son, put the boy down. Dutch, leaning and whispering to Hosea: But maybe we should buy a Bible just in case. Hosea: And a cross.

- (Modern au and suicide joke)

John: It’s not a phase! It’s a lifestyle, you just wouldn’t get it! Arthur: You think I didn’t go through the “I can’t tell if I want to kill myself or everyone around me” phase? Come on. John: What? I don’t wanna kill myself at all. Arthur: … John: … John: Should I- should we go talk to Hose- Arthur: We should forget this conversation happened. Take this Nirvana CD and keep your mouth shut.

- Abigail: …John. John: Yes, my angel? Abigail: You forgot something. John: No I didn’t! I took the list with me, checked it three times, even crossed things off when I put it in the cart! See, look. Apples, frozen hamhocks, cranberry juice- Abigail: John. You took Jack with you. John: Abigail: John: Abigail: John: SHIT I LEFT HIM BY THE PASTA SECTION Abigail: STOP STANDING THERE AND GO GET HIM!

- Jack: Pa, how did you get mom to marry you? John: Well son, I- John: John: I have no idea. Jack: Should I ask mom? John: I’ll be honest, I don’t think she knows the answer either.

- Charles: You did good back there. Arthur: Oh? Heh, nah, you did all the fancy stuff. I just helped. Charles: Don’t undersell yourself, Arthur. I wouldn’t be complimenting you for no reason. Arthur: Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just trying to fluff up my ego. Charles: Wouldn’t hurt to do when you work so hard, no? Arthur: Now you’re just being’ sweet- John: Can y’all wait til we’re done before you start your spiritual dick sucking? Arthur: Can you repent to the lord fast enough to save your soul in the time it’ll take me to throw you into the damn ocean, Marston?!

- Arthur: Do you even have a brain? John: Do you even have someone that loves you? Arthur: John: John: I heard it that time, I’m sorry. Arthur: This is what Abigail hears sometimes, just so you know. John: I heard it that time, I got it. I- I’ll just- Arthur: Whiskey, full bottle. The nice kind. John: Apology alcohol, got it.

-

NPC: My husband’s parents are so crazy. In-laws always are, huh? Abigail: Well, uh-

*John being an orphan* *John’s adoptive dads being criminals, one particularly off his rocker*

Abigail: ….aha, yeah;;

- Abigail: John Marston, you useless, foolish, stupid man! Bill: To hell with John! Abigail, suddenly with a very large gun: NO ONE INSULTS MY HUSBAND.

- Arthur, holding up a proper painting he actually put time and effort into: Could a depressed person make this? Charles: The painting: *a wolf in the rain laying it’s head over the body of a deer shot with an arrow* Charles: I’m, in fact, more convinced you have depression now. Arthur: …yeah this wasn’t the best evidence for my argument, huh? Charles: No. Not at all.

- John: What are you talking about? That’s completely normal, it’s like having opinions. just cause it doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean- Tilly: No, John! No. It’s not normal to have that reaction to the sound of hearing metal on metal. John: No look, uh- Arthur! Arthur come here! Arthur: What now? John: What happens when you hear metal on metal? Like, a can bein’ rubbed with a knife. Arthur: Ugh, I hate that sound. It makes my damn skin crawl, like I got beetles underneath. Makes me wanna skin myself to get’em out. John: Right! See, Tilly? It’s not just me! Tilly: ????

Charles: …and you never got them evaluated? Hosea: In hindsight, an autistic diagnosis probably would’ve made more things make sense. But, what can ya do.

- Arthur after a dog didn’t positively react to him: Maybe this is my final straw. Charles: No. Arthur: It might be. Charles: It’s one dog. There are twenty that you stopped to pet along the way here, plenty more for you to pet after this. Arthur: You don’t understand, this is devastatin’. Charles: Arthur, please- Arthur: Utterly devastatin’, Charles.

- Arthur, tipsy: Just cause you’re gorgeous don’t mean I’ma do whatever you say. Charles: Drink the water, Arthur. Arthur: *grabs the glass* Yes, sir.

- (Got a Y/N one, also, modern Au)

Arthur: That’s the Aberdeen farm. Y/N: …what’s wrong with it? Arthur: What’cha mean? Y/N: The vibes, they’re off. Arthur: …the…vibes? Y/N: The energy, Mister Morgan. The vibe of the place. They’re off, they’re weird, wack even. I sense insidious and wretched wavelengths wafting from the aura of that property. Arthur: I see…well, to answer your question, it’s cause they are weird. And I ain’t even confirmed why cause I don’t really wanna know. Y/N: I see you can also sense the vibes are rank. Arthur: …sure, whatever that means.

- Micha: Well I think- Y/N: Well I’m certain no one fucking asked, Micha! Not a single damn person asked what the hell you thought, ever! In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t think. I’m pretty sure your skull fills with all the bullshit in your organs, and it just spills out your mouth! Micha: Micha: I- Y/N: Shut up, Micha!

- Arthur, after Albert explains some super dangerous plan in order to get wild animals near him to photograph: You’re stupid, I like that in a man.

- Y/N: Bye Arthur, bye Karen, bye Hosea, bye Arthur. Sadie: You said ‘bye Arthur’ twice. Y/N: I like Arthur.

- NPC: Lovebirds, eh? Sadie: Arthur: Sadie: I’d rather eat a poison ivy plant with Holly Berries for dressing. *looks at Arthur* No offense. Arthur: No no, none taken. All things considered, I’d rather dive into a pit of tar and then drag myself face first through a plain of rotten chitlins. Sadie: Completely fair!

- Bill: I need you to realize you ain’t in charge here. Y/N: I need you to realize I don’t give a shit.

- Arthur: Hey Charles, uh, I got an Uhm…a spiritual question. Charles: Any particular reason you chose to ask me? Arthur: Uh well- I didn’t mean for it to be like that- I just- Charles: *sigh* What is it? Arthur: Do you know what it means when an elk stands up on its back legs? Charles: That means- Charles: WE SHOULD LEAVE, we need to leave, that’s what that means!

- Jack: …why are your boobs so big? Charles: They’re not boobs. Jack: Do you have to wear a brasier? Charles: *sigh* Arthur: He asked me the same thing a couple weeks ago, don’t think to hard bout it.

-

(Story spoilers!!) Y/N: I'm sorry, let me get this straight. Y/N: You picked up that man when he was a destitute child, grieving and starving. Taught him almost everything he knows. Y/N: Then, you did that with, what? Three others? In similar circumstances? Y/N: Created a sense of family and community, a strong bond between so many misfortuned people. With your trustworthy long term friend by your side. Y/N: And then. Y/N: One RAT. WHO IS OPENLY ANTAGONISTIC AND REEKS OF SUSPICION AS MUCH AS HE DOES HORSE SHIT, SOMEHOW CONVINCES YOU TO GO OFF YOUR ROCKER AND HARM YOUR GANG?! Y/N: Explain! Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: He praised me- Y/N: YOUR PRAISE KINK GOT YOU TO AIM A GUN AT YOUR SONS????

- Arthur: Naaah they’re an angel. Lenny: They punched Bill in the face. Seán: They told Strauss he was a waste of human material, in his own language, which they’re not fluent in. Mary-Beth: They framed Micha for a crime and got him put in prison again. Arthur: Like I said, an angel!

- John: Woman. (Translation: Darling.) Abigail: Moron. (Translation: Lovebug.)

Arthur: You tellin’ me they’re being affectionate right now? Jack: Can’t’cha read subtext, Uncle Arthur? Arthur: ???

-

(Insert Alcohol is truth serum reference)

Drunk Bill: Not to be gay, but you’re gorgeous bro. Kieran, afraid: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty. Absolutely shit-faced Bill: Nah, like I’d fuck you, bro. Kieran, terrified: Okay, never mind!

- (How I imagine their first couple years together went)

Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: Dutch: How do you feel about me? Hosea, naked & beside him: ….we’re sharin’ a bedroll, Dutch. Dutch: Yes, but what are we, Hosea? Hosea: ….we’re both naked, alone, in a tent, Dutch. Dutch: That doesn’t answer my question. Hosea:

- (This one's sad, not funny, sorry-) John: You’re such a hypocrite, why is it that anything I do that you’ve done before that you get so bent outta shape?! Arthur: Because I’ve done it before you, John. John: So why do you think it’s fair to tell me not to?! Most people are proud when their younger brother ends up like’em. You don’t want anyone like you, is that it? Arthur: John: John: …oh. Arthur: Now that you got my point, will you take my god damn advice without a big fuss…please.

- John: She drives me insane! She somehow managed to make me the angriest I’ve ever been almost daily. NPC: Then leave her. John: The fu- no. What? She’s the wind beneath my wings, my darling wife, my beautiful angel. How the hell could you even think to suggest such a thing? NPC: But- John: Get outta my sight, you fuckin’ disgrace.

[wishfulsketching]

So. That was Arcane. As a whole.

Best episode of the season was episode 7. I might be a bit biased thanks to Silco and Vander living it up as their older selves but also, Ekko is truly the mvp of the show.

I hmm. Well. Victor. I see what was going on there. I see the vision. I loved lot of it. I had the sudden realizations of "that's Victor, right" before it happened....dude looked more like Jesus than ever before too. But uhh. Hmm. Hmm. There is like a chapter missing between s1 and s2 with Victor. Or more like mid season 2 chapter. Love my boy still. I did not care for his Machine Herald look. I liked the idea of the face being split. It hmm. I feel like they said, instead of showed, a lot with Victor this season.

My controversial opinion: Isha was unnecessary. The black rose mage stuff was unnecessary. Same end result could've been achieved with other means. Vi was just there to experience things and be sad. Jinx can't have shit and should suffer all the time, I guess.

BUT

Nice

My man was a positive voice for Jinx. Uhhh in a way. Kinda made her go suicidal but like, he was trying. He is always trying. Even after death. Maybe after his hallucination talk people will understand that Silco wasn't just a evil dude with evil things to do, he was as trapped as everyone else in Zaun and wanted to break free.

Tho, I doubt it. The main enemy in Arcane is the class divide. In my eyes.

I do love the exploration of Hextech and how using magic in a technological way can be super dangerous and fuck shit up. I wanted to see that. And I did see that in season 1, when Jayce realizes how dangerous the hextech weapons are! Exploring the time loop and how abstract magic is, was great! I just.

I love this show. Very much. Season 1, no notes. It's made for me.

Season 2 seems like a people pleaser. And I am pleased! Yet I also wanted something different.

I am still happy because I got my vindication. Zaundads is canon, fuck yeah! No man looks at another man like that and is not in love with them!

I loved that they kept that Vander still tried to kill Silco. Silco went "yea ok that ass too good to quit. What is little murder between lovers, anyway. Come here bby"

Only thing. Silco should've interacted with Jinx in the alternative timeline. A simple "you look beautiful" when she has her entrance or "hey here's snack have fun building whatever you guys are building. Don't make too much noise, your father and I need to get up early tomorrow ok bye bye my perfect little genius"

[cocosvalentine]

Crisis Averted

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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Synopsis. it was meant to be a simple day of relaxation but you work for Rafayel so days like this don’t exist the only solution is putting him in his place but it seems he enjoyed it more than you wanted him to

Pairing. Reader x Rafayel

Content. sub Rafayel, dom reader, teasing, degrading, oral fem receiving, object insertion, edging, overstimulating, pet names, dacryphilia, sexual content, breeding ( if you squint ), SMUT, NSFW, uhhh idk what else el oh el :3

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           A soft hum leaves your lips as the sound of smooth jazz fills the room. You moaned in delight as you dipped your body further into the comfort of the warm bath. Finally, a day off which was long overdue. With an increase of wanderers and protecting or rather looking after Rafayel, your body was beyond sore and needed to relax. But it was shortly interrupted by the sound of a familiar ring. “Fuck” you groaned under your breath as you grabbed your phone. “Hello,” the word came out more angered than you had hoped. “I’m sorry to interrupt you on your day off it’s just I haven’t been able to get in touch with Rafayel; he’s even gone and locked himself in his studio. We have an important meeting with a buyer but he’s been acting out and I need your assistance” you groan at the news that Thomas shared about Rayafel's recent outburst. 

           “I’ll be right over” The water splashes around you as you reassure him that you’ll settle the matter with the stubborn artist. You hear a sigh of relief from the other hand as he sings praises to you but it doesn’t help quell your anger of your relaxation being interrupted. You quickly get dressed as you rush over hoping to settle this quickly. Using the spare key Rayael gave you, you slam open the door spooking Rayafel in the process. “Damn it Thomas” he mutters under his breath as he lifts his gaze to meet yours. He quickly looked away a clear pout placed on his face. 

           “Are you going to tell me what this is about or do I have to force it out of you Rafayel” You see the way his body shivers at the sound of his name leaving your lips. “It’s none of your concern” he simply says trying to ignore how your eyes stare deep into his soul. “Oh? If that was the case I wouldn’t be called here on my day off all 'cause you wanna be a brat isn’t that right” your tone is cold as you speak slowly approaching him. Rayafel remains on the ground his paintbrushes surrounding him and dry paint litter the floor. “You could have simply ignored his call” he crosses his arms as he speaks his pout deepens but his eyes never once waver from their position on the ground. 

           “Hmm, how long do you plan on looking at the ground my eyes are up here” he flinches at your word as his eyes slowly raise to meet yours for a mere second before looking away once more. “Rafayel I’m sure I’ve made it clear that I expect full eye contact when we speak” he ignores your words as his eyes studies the floor. His breath hitches as a pained whimper leaves his lips at the harsh feel of you tugging his hair. Your nails dig into his scalp as he stares deep into your eyes the only noticeable emotion is anger. 

           “It’s Thomas's fault…I already told him I had no plans on selling the painting but he went behind my back and…” His words are cut off as you release your grip pushing him back down. “Yet you can’t respond like a grown man, instead you're in here sulking like a little brat who got his candy stolen. I don’t care what's going on between you and Thomas, what I want to know is how you're going to make it up to me for ruining my day off” he scoffs at your words as he crosses his arms upset at being blamed for something he had no part in or so he believed. “Hmm, it seems I haven’t made myself clear. Either you lose that fucking attitude before I fuck it out of you. Or perhaps you want me to strap you to your bed again and edge you like the little whore you are” A blush emerges on his face at your words. 

           “Thats not fair I’m not even the one who called why am I being punished” hr argues as you roll your eyes in response. “You decided to be a little brat, you decided to lock yourself in your studio, your actions started all of this so the next thing I expect out of that whore mouth is ‘I’m sorry ma’am’ Do you hear me Rafayel” you watch as he grinds his teeth a blush embracing his face as he stares at the ground. “I’m sorry” he whispers those words hardly loud enough for you to hear. “What was that I can quite hear you” you taunt before pressing your heels against his crotch. He inhaled sharply at the feel of your foot pressing harshly against his crotch. “I’m sorry ma’am” The words came out in a strangled breath it was clear he was trying to bite back a moan. “Hmm, I'm not sure if you truly mean that, strip” he jerks his head up at your command. 

           He quickly looks away as he slowly stands. You watch as he strips at a teasingly slow pace. “It would be wise to hurry up, I don’t have all day” As those words leave your lips he quickly rushes to discard the rest of his clothes. You scoff at the sight of his cock throbbing and leaking. “Fuck you really are a pathetic little whore, I didn’t even do much and you're already dripping. Are you really that needy for me to use you like the whore you are” he continues to avoid your gaze as you circle him but the way his cock twitches seems to give you the answer you desire. Grabbing his cock a stifled whine leaves his lips, “Aww what happened you were so ready to bite back after every word” he bites his lips further at your taunting words. 

           Letting go of his cock you reach down and grab his belt, “Hands behind your back” you smirk watching how quickly he listens to your command. Wrapping his belt around his wrist you make sure to tighten it before pushing him to the ground. You turn him onto his back using your heels as you press it against his chest. He looks up to you his eyes so full of need, begging for you’re touch. You trail your foot down towards his cock pressing it harshely as a startled cry leaves his lips. You press down further watching how his back arches and his eyes begin to tear up. Fuck did he look perfect. 

           Lifting your foot you bring it closer to his face as you press it against his lips, his tongue quickly darts out as he begins to lick and suck at your heel. You chuckle at the sight you hardly needed to commend him when he was so desperate. “On your knees” you order as you remove your heel from his lips. He rises to his knees his hands tied behind his back as he looks up at you awaiting his next order. He watches you slightly confused as you pick up a few items. Kneeling before him you grab his cock causing a whimper to leave his lips. His eyes widened watching how you place a make-shift cock ring with his shoe tie. He whimpers at the tight and restricting feeling but he can’t deny how good it made him feel. 

           You push him down a bit as you sit behind him, you watch how his hips tremble at the feel of your salvia dripping onto his ass. Stroking his cock you gather a bit of his precum before mixing it with your saliva. Soft moans leave his lips as he watches patiently wondering what you had up your sleeve. “I do hope you remember this is a punishment” you taunt watching how his eyes widen at the sight of the paintbrush in your hand. A choked gasp escapes his lips as he feels you pushing the paintbrush into his ass. His body trembles feeling the foreign object push deeper into his aching hole. “Ma-ma’am this f-feels strange” he whined before feeling another insert him this one was much thicker. 

           Heavy pants left his lips as you continued to push more inside him stretching him more than he thought was possible. “Hmm is this really all you can fit” your words are cold as you scoff in annoyance. “Make sure none of them fall out unless you want me to stuff more of them inside” he whimpers at your words before giving a weak yes ma’am. “On your knees” you order he slowly rises to his knees as tears stream down his face. Grabbing hold of his cock he watched with blurred eyes as you press a thin paintbrush into his cock. A faint gasp leaves his lips as his back arches. 

           More of his precum leaks out as you continue to push the paintbrush deeper. His eyes widen as loud moans leave his lips. His breath becomes heavier as he feels a strange sensation. His body trembles the need to cum is overwhelming. “T-take it out…I wanna cum please take it out” You scoff at his words as you squeeze his cock tightly. “Are you telling me what to do?” you squeeze tighter as you speak. “Wasting my time with petty actions and now you think you can boss me around, oh Rafayel you haven’t learned a single thing” you taunt as you begin to stroke his cock.

           His hips buck begging for more pleasure but it was almost painful. The need to cum was overwhelming. “Oh fuck fuck” he whines as he feels you toy with the thin paintbrush while stroking his cock. “If you're a good boy you won’t come until I say so” he whines in response as he bites his lips. A loud cry spills from his lips as you nearly pull out the paintbrush. His cock shudders as more precum leaks out. Minutes passed as you continued to edge him, he was becoming overstimulated as the time passed. 

           A sharp gasp left his lips as he felt you twirl the thin paintbrush around in his cock. Choked moans struggle to escape as he bucks his hips begging for more. Drool seeps down his face as his eyes roll back. “Thats not good this is meant to be a punishment, Rafe, but here you are whining like a dog in heat fucking pathetic” he whines at your words but he continues to chase the pleasure. “W-wanna cum” he lets out in a desperate attempt to seek more pleasure. “Please I-I can’t an-anymore” he whines as more tears stream down his face. 

           You giggle at the sight of Rafayel red in the face, eyes filled to the brim with tears and drool leaving his lips. “Aww does my little pup feel good” You taunt as he struggles to let out a proper sentence, broken moans leave his lips his blurred eyes focusing on the way you pushed the thin paintbrush into his cock. “Only good boys get to cum, if you beg properly maybe I’ll let you cum” You wondered if he heard you properly he clearly was overwhelmed by the pleasure. His mind was dazed from the pleasure but the pain of not being able to cum was torture. Whimpers left his lips as he bucked his hips upwards begging for more. “Pl-please I wa-wanna cum ma’am pl-please” he struggled to let out as another loud moan left his lips. 

           His breath was heavy as he felt you push another paintbrush into his ass. He was full to the brim but he couldn’t help how much he wanted more. The pleasure from both ends was overwhelming for his mind. Tears streamed down his face as he continued to beg. “Fuck please I wanna cum I wanna cum I wanna cum” He repeated the phrase over and over again his desperation leaking through it only excited you further. “Aww does my little pup wanna cum, but only good boys get to cum and you haven’t been a good boy” Your taunting words were followed by a deep chuckle at the way Rafayel sobbed. 

           His desperation was enticing he was a blubbering wet mess begging to be used. “I-I’ll be a good pup I swear pl-please wa-wanna cum” he begged through rigged breaths as his eyes followed your movement. You stood up before removing your panties and tossing them aside. “If you wanna cum so bad then I’ll give you three minutes to make your master cum” he hardly let you finish as he latched his mouth to your dripping pussy. You bite your lips feeling him sucking on your clit in a desperate attempt to make you cum faster. Grabbing onto his head you pushed his head deeper into your cunt loving how his tongue fucked you. “Good boy, making your master so proud” you mewled as your breath quickened. 

           Soft moans left your lips as you road his tongue, licking your dry lips you can’t deny you were close. Rafayel knew every spot that could bring you close to the edge. “Oh fuck” you whine as your fingers reach down towards your clit rubbing it as you threw your head back. Loud moans began to leave your lips, “Fuck Rafa-Rafayel, oh fuck yes right there baby” you whined feeling your climax approaching. A loud cry leaves your lips as your climax crashes down like waves. You whine as Rafayel drinks it all. You pull away staring down at his cum covered face. Catching your breath you lean down gently toying with the thin paintbrush. You slowly pull it out before pushing Rafayel down onto his back. 

           You straddle him as you aligned his cock with your cunt. “I’m not one to go back on my word and you’ve been a good boy so you desire a little reward” he whines in response as he watches his cock despires inside your warm walls. Soft pants leave his lips as you bounce on his cock, “Wanna cum inside your master?” he nods his head desperately at your question. “Go ahead cum inside be a good pup and breed your master” he arches his hips to meet your movement before you know it his hot cum is spilling deep inside you. 

           He cries out loudly as he cums, and you continue to ride him. You come to a steady pace before stopping completely. You slowly rise as his cock slips out your cunt, “You’re not done, shouldn’t you clean your master and thank me” You stare down at the tired men as you utter those words. He slowly rises as he opens his mouth, you watch as he licks his cum from your cunt. “T-thank you ma’am” he whimpers clearly out of breath. Before you can speak you hear the sound of your phone ringing. 

“Hey is everything settled?” Thomas's voice fills the room as you turn to stare at Rafaeyl. “Hmm yes, he’ll be there shortly don’t worry I already dealt with his little outburst” you replied as Thomas thanked you over and over. “It’s no problem always happy to help,” you said in a cheery tone.

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not used to this so be kind first love and deepspace fic and second fic overall hope ya enjoy :3

[squoxle]

Can u do a short ff where y/n came from the gym and she’s looking hot as ever. And heeseung is home while he talks to his gamer friends . And when he sees y/n he’s flabbergasted.

Can I? Hmm…I can try😏🖤 (you probably didn't read this b4 you asked. no worries tho...i was itching to start writing for EN- again anyway)

𐙚Heated~L.HS ff 18+𐙚

💋pairing: Heeseung!fwb x Reader!fm | 💋wc: 1.3k | 💋summary: Do I really need to explain this??? basically, you came home after working out, and Heeseung couldn't keep his eyes off your sexy, sweaty body. |💋cw: 🔞MDNI!! unprotected sex, cumshots, fingering, clit stimulation, sexual jokes, pet names [daddy, good girl, baby]=heeseung coded Enjoy :)

"Dammit," you swore as your phone fell out of your pocket. You slid your headphones down to wrap around your neck as you kneeled down to pick up your phone.

"Hey," Jake said as you flipped your phone around, checking for any scratches or cracks. "How was the gym?"

"Ehh nothing too special," you shrugged before lugging your bag over your shoulder. "There was this one guy who kept flirting with me. He even tried giving me his number," you laughed under your breath.

"A guy? Flirting with you? What else did this guy do?" Heeseung spat. It seemed like hearing that pissed him off a bit as his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"It really wasn't all that. I don't know why you're getting upset anyway. We're just friends. It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything," You said before taking a sip from your water bottle. It was the kind you can use your teeth to yank open, though that may not be the intended way of doing it.

"How'd you know she went to the gym?" Heeseung asked, looking at the other guys as he took his dark eyes off you.

"Uhh...well if I was an asshole--which I'm not--I would say that anyone with a fucking brain could tell by what she went to the gym just by looking at her," Jay said sarcastically as you stood by the door wearing compression tights and a cropped hoodie that covered your sports bra.

"Yeah, that and she told us before she left an hour ago," Sunghoon added.

"Oh," Heeseung said as he went back to staring at you.

You flashed him a puzzled look as he licked his lips before biting on the lower one as he scanned your body up and down. You couldn't believe the bipolar attitude this boy had at times.

"Yo dude! What the fuck was that?" Jay laughed as he saw the way Heeseung was practically drolling over you. "Don't tell me that she's turning you on that easily," Jay continued as he shook Hee's shoulder. "She's literally like a sister to us."

"More like a step-sister," Sunghoon chuckled. "You can see it all over his face. He wants to fuck her just as badly as that guy at the gym," He smirked before turning to look at you himself. He could see how Heeseung could like the way you looked with your hair stuck to the sides of your face from the sweat. Especially when you took off your hoodie, revealing your breasts that were also decorated with sweat that dripped from your collarbone.

"What?" Heeseung shook his head. The thoughts in his mind caused him to go completely blank.

"Woah! Even his little buddy thinks so," Jake threw his head back laughing. Heeseung looked down to see his hard-on bulging in his sweats, before looking over at you.

"Dude you're freaking her out," Jake continued as he looked over to see your flushed face.

"Uhhh...I'm just gonna go," you said awkwardly as you walked to your room.

"Hey, if I were you I'd just be honest and tell everyone how bad I wanna fuck her," Sunghoon smirked.

"Fuck off, man," Heeseung spat as he left the room following behind you.

"What do you want?" You said as you rummaged through your drawers looking for an outfit to put on after your shower.

“I think you already know,” Heeseung said as he closed the door behind him. The thought of your sweaty body bouncing on his cock was enough to get him started.

“Right now? You’re joking…” you said as you placed the stack of clothes on your bed. You were in no mood to engage in some sexual activity with him right now for two reasons. One, it's literally the middle of the fucking day, and two, the guys are still awake sitting in the living room down the hall.

“How do you expect me to react after seeing your hot sexy body covered in sweat?” he said cocking his head to the side as if you could read the horny thoughts running through his mind.

“Umm, disgusted. Like a normal person,” you folded your arms. You were indirectly trying to hint to him that this wasn't a good time, but by the look on his face you could tell that wasn't working.

“Hmm, well that would probably be the case if we didn’t have our little side thing.”

“Okay, you’re either desperate or stupid if you think we’re gonna have sex right now.”

“What if I’m both?” Heeseung said before reaching down to grip his dick through his pants. “I’m aching for you and I know how bad you want me. You just hate to admit that I’m right,” he continued as he walked up to you, placing a delicate yet sensual kiss on your cheek while holding your chin.

“You’re sick,” you spat ripping away from his grip. “And when you’re horny, you’re a fucking dog,” you said picking up your clothes before walking to the door.

“Ah ah ah~” Heeseung said as he held the door shut with his hand. “You know I always get what I want,” he smiled before kissing your neck.

“I said, not right n—“ you were cut off by Heeseung gripping your ass. His fingers reached through your thighs to your pussy. You perked your ass up to give him a better shot as he rubbed against your pussy through the tight fabric.

“What was that you were saying,” Heeseung smiled before sucking on your neck, biting a bit of your skin hard enough to cause you to let out a small moan.

“What if they hear us?”

“Who cares?” Heeseung said as he pressed his dick against your ass.

“Heeseung,” you sighed.

“Relax, just stay quiet and we should be okay,” he pulled down your tights, exposing your ass to him.

You covered your mouth with your hands as Heeseung glided his dick between your folds before pushing himself in.

“Mmph!” You gasped. Heeseung let out a soft chuckle from behind you as he began pounding into your slimy hole.

He gripped your waist with one of his hands while the other he used to stimulate your clit. You braced yourself against the door that slightly knocked from your movements.

“H-Heeseung! A-ah,” you moaned as your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

“That’s it baby. Take all of Daddy’s dick like a good girl,” he said pumping into you so hard that you were on your toes at this point.

Just as you reached your climax, Heeseung pulled his dick out of you. “What?” You said turning around to see his dick still twitching.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded. “And turn around,” he continued as you dropped down into doggy position.

He didn’t waste time to slam his dick into you, fucking you hard and fast as his thighs slapped against your ass.

“Ah!” You moaned a little too loud.

Heeseung pulled you back, shoving two fingers into your mouth as he kept fucking you. Before you came he shot his cum on your back before getting up to leave the room.

“Wait. Where are you going?” You asked as you pulled your tights back up.

“I’m finished,” he shrugged. “You can go take your shower now. I’m done being a pervert,” he winked before walking down the hall.

“Wh-heeseung?!” You shouted. "Ugh," you huffed, picking up your clothes before walking to the shower.

"What was that all about?" Jay asked as Heeseung plopped down on the sofa next to him.

"Nothing," he smirked. "She's just being dramatic as usual."

"Mhm. Sure," Sunghoon smirked before sitting back.

"Soooo, can we get back to the game now?" Jake asked.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @nikisdubblchococake @hynjinnn1 @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmoa

[lovemybluebully]

Was That A Snort?

Written specially for @whiskeyandcigarsmoke Thank you for supporting my writing! 😭 I always feel slightly awkward when anyone who is not in the t-community reads my stuff because most probably think I'm a fucking weirdo for centering all my fics around tickling, but I appreciate your open-mindedness and ability to see the cute aspect of it all. 🥰

Some snorty, ticklish Logan for your viewing pleasure!

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

Word Count: 6,504 (Sorry it came out kinda long. 😬)

Wade yawned as he wandered into the kitchen one morning in his bathrobe to put on a pot of coffee, cursing as he remembered on his way in that they had run out the day before. Much to his surprise the smell of fresh coffee hit his nostrils as he found that there was a pot already freshly brewed on the countertop.

An explanation of how that came to be was revealed when a rustle of paper to the side drew his attention as he turned to find Logan sitting at the small kitchen table and quietly reading the newspaper. He was already fully dressed and looked like he had been up for a while.

"Well someone's an early riser today. Thanks for handling the coffee situation," Wade toasted him with a mug he had grabbed from the shelf in one of the cupboards before filling it from the bubbling hot pot.

"Couldn't find any here this morning so I went to the store and picked some up. Grabbed some donuts while I was out too. Help yourself," Logan nodded to the pink carboard box on the table without even looking up from his paper.

"Yess! Did you happen to get any of the cream-filled ones?" Wade asked hopefully, sitting at the table next to him as Logan reached over and flipped the box open for him.

"Yeah, there should be a couple in there somewhere. Also got some of those ones with the kiddie cereal on top that I know ya like."

Wade squealed in excitement as he plucked a donut covered in Lucky Charms from the box, moaning over-excessively as he took a large bite.

"Mmmm! Oh God, mmm MM! That's a literal flavor-filled orgasm in my mouth. You're an absolute angel," Wade carried on as Logan huffed through his nose with a small smile.

"I don't appreciate the slander, Wilson. And I was kinda enjoying the peace and quiet so would ya mind keepin' it down a little?"

Wade nodded and replied between chews.

"Yup. I can do that. Mmm hmm. Not a peep from me. Won't even know I'm here," he then began loudly sucking the melted icing off of his fingers before looking up to find Logan giving him a hard stare, "I'm sorry, would you like some?"

Wade offered him his hand as Logan grimaced in disgust and leaned away from him, trying to get back to reading.

"All yours, bub. Couldn't pay me to suck on those fingers."

"Are you implying that I could pay you to suck on something else? Because if that's true then have I got the proposition for you," Wade suggestively spoke in a lower tone, pleased to see he'd managed to get under Logan's skin as he promptly threw down his newspaper with a groan

"Can't you ever just be fucking normal for one day?"

"Let me see.....uhhh nope. I'm afraid there's no changing me. And you, my friend, are lucky to have a front row seat to the amazing world of Wade," he placed a hand on Logan's knee and teasingly danced his fingers up his inner thigh before being slapped away.

"My eternal punishment you mean. If God himself were to take pity on me and strike me down today it still wouldn't have been soon enough," Logan shook his head as he folded up the newspaper to put aside while Wade narrowed his eyes in response to his last comment.

"Say sike right now," he pointed a demanding finger at the other man who only tilted his head in slight confusion.

"What's that mean?"

"It means take it back, you insolent pig!"

"What? Did I actually hit a nerve?" Logan smirked, taking a bite of the old-fashioned donut he'd just selected from the box.

"I'm gonna have to plead the fifth. That's gross by the way," Wade cringed a little at how Logan dunked his donut into his coffee before biting into it, "But in theory if I were to say that you did, would you apologize?"

"Not even on my theoretical death bed, dipshit," Logan flipped Wade his middle finger as he ate the last bite of his donut.

Wade knew he was just playing his game with him, but that didn't mean he couldn't consider options for reprisal.

"Always such a charmer. Well in that case how about if I make you take it back, stud?"

Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Pffft, good one. How the fuck do ya think you're gonna do that?"

"I have my ways. I'm a highly trained mercenary you know and believe it or not I have a plethora of all kinds of torture methods stored inside my pea-sized brain," Wade smiled innocently as Logan just nodded, never one to take anything the man said completely serious.

"Sure, bub. I'm warning ya though, you give me another wet willy and I'm throwing your ass out that window over there," he gestured over his shoulder to the window on the far wall where a three-story drop would await the prankster.

"Dually noted. Do not worry your Canadian cojones about it though, I have no doubt the inspiration will come to me," Wade tapped the side of his head.

"Well don't exhaust your last brain cell tryin' to figure it out," Logan slapped him on the back as he got up from his chair and walked to the counter to refill his coffee, "I've got over 200 years of experience under my belt, and I've been conditioned to resist any kinda torture you can possibly think of."

"Anything, huh?" Wade pondered aloud, observing the man who had his back to him as he filled up his mug and fiddled with the sugar packets at the counter.

He knew Logan spoke with truth as the X-man became a storyteller when drunk and described many instances where he'd been made to suffer by enemies. Everything from as minor as being burnt with lit cigarettes all the way up to more grotesque things like being vivisected while fully conscious. Not to mention the excruciating adamantium process that he had barely survived.

Like Wade, Logan's pain threshold was off the charts and the man really could take a lot of physical abuse. Of course, Wade wasn't compelled to hurt him that badly, or even at all. He really only wanted to get a good response from him that would serve as lighthearted payback.

He just had the urge to put hands on him, though Logan had already warned him against the wet willies, and messing with his hair was also a call for trouble. He'd risk his prestigious reputation for being eccentric if he didn't think of something quick.

"Awful quiet back there, Wade. Shit, must be too late. Not one intelligible thought left in that head of yours, huh? Halle-fuckin'-lujah, I thought this day would never come."

He could practically hear the arrogant smirk on Logan's face and before Wade knew it, he was instinctively out of his seat and silently approaching behind Logan who was preoccupied with trying to clean up the sugar he'd spilled onto the counter space.

"Such a damn shame. Guess we won't be calling you 'The Merc With the Mouth' anymore. You can be the 'The Merc Who Finally Shut His Annoying Fucking-'.....!!!" His words were cut off by a gasp when he felt fingers digging into his ribcage from behind as his legs nearly buckled from the sensations. 

His arms snapped down against his sides while he writhed for a few seconds against the counter before an unfortunate laugh made it out from his lips. He immediately bit it back as he finally managed to turn around and shove the attacking merc several feet away.

Logan's brows drew together as he just gaped incredulously at his daring roommate.

"The fuck are you doing?!" 

Wade was grinning like a predator that had just cornered its prey; his mind racing in overdrive at having detected an actual weakness of the gruff Wolverine, who now had complete alarm plastered all over his face.

"Hmm, looks like I'm the one now who has struck a nerve. A ticklish nerve by the looks of it," Wade rubbed his hands together menacingly, growing more excited by the moment as Logan's eyes widened in unmitigated panic.

"What?! Tickling?! That's ridiculous! You just....surprised me is all!" He stammered out very unconvincingly while Wade delighted in watching him figuratively squirm.

"Funny, I've never seen literally anyone have that reaction to being surprised. But okay, let me try what I just did one more time except now you won't be surprised by it, right? Coming in hot...," Wade had his hands raised into clawed form with fingers wiggling as he started to lunge for the other man, but Logan instantly put his own hands up in defense to halt him.

"Alright Wade, alright. Fuck. You win. I'm a little ticklish. But Wade c'mon, this is asinine. I'm a grown man. You can't just fucking tickle me," Logan tried to reason with him even though he knew it was all for nothing, receiving that confirmation by the way that Wade laughed at him.

"Oh yes I fucking can. There's no age limit for tickling, even for a geezer like you. Besides if there was then people would grow out of it and stop being ticklish, but guess what? Most don't. Which means anyone who hasn't is still fair game, and that includes you, sugar tits. I'll leave it up to you though. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," Wade began cracking his knuckles for effect as Logan desperately tried to figure a way out of this.

"I swear if you even lay a finger on me.....," Logan cautioned with a deep growl as he swelled up his oversized muscles, this attempt at intimidation normally succeeding in making any sane man back down. But unfortunately for him, Wade wasn't a sane man, along with the fact that Logan hadn't released his claws which Wade had learned to perceive as a full-on green light.

"Is that your way of saying you're picking the hard way? Because you know I'm quite partial to things being hard myse-AAaggh! You dirty skank!!" Wade yelped as Logan had thrown the hot coffee he'd been holding into the merc's face and roughly shoved past him.

Naturally Wade recovered quickly as he tore after his roommate, even more amped than before to make him pay.

"Awww come back Wolviiiiie! I just want to talk!"

"Just fuck off! If you even try, I'll cut your damn head off" Logan shouted in trepidation, picking up a crudely put together Ikea end table and launching it at Wade with the merc easily dodging it as it smashed against the wall.

"It will be all worth it, babygirl. I couldn't think of a more desirable death if I tried," Wade grinned and in his pursuit his robe had come undone, revealing that he was wearing nothing but his My Little Pony boxers underneath as Logan grimaced once he noticed.

"Are you kidding me?! Gross! Do not fuckin' come near me dressed like that! You hear me?!" Logan warned him, jumping over the couch to escape with Wade hot on his tail.

"What in the shit is going on out here?!" Althea yelled as she opened the bedroom door to walk out into the living room where the chaos was ongoing, "Stupid sons of bitches can't even let an old woman sleep-in just one motherfucking day?" 

As they ran past her, Wade tripped and fell to the floor before scrambling back to his feet to continue the chase.

"Sorry Al! But I've got me a Wolverine to tickle the crap out of!"

"I should've never given you caffeine and sugar this early in the morning!" Logan cursed as he circled back around, looking for cover and running to stand behind the smaller, elderly woman.

"Althea! Call him off!" He pleaded while he used her temporarily as a shield between him and Wade for a few short-lived moments before he had to abandon her and make another break for it.

"Wade Wilson you stop picking on that poor boy!" She yelled after them as Wade only scoffed in amusement.

"Ha! Boy?! He's more ancient than your old ass!"

Althea just sighed loudly with a shake of her head as she turned to start shuffling back into her room.

"Well....time to turn down the old hearing aids," she muttered as she fiddled with the devices in her ears, "You two assholes break anything else in this apartment and you're going to have to deal with me!"

Logan paused as he saw she was abandoning him to his fate with the ADHD-riddled man and called after her.

"AL WAIT!! Let me come with you!" But the door slammed shut behind her without another word.

Unfortunately, his lack of attention to his would-be assailant proved costly as Wade was now able to make his move and easily tackled Logan to the floor. He quickly mounted him to sit on his legs in order to keep them out of the way.

"For the record, you can cum with me anytime you want. But let's save the fantasies for later, you naughty boy. Now time to get to the point of why these readers are all here," Wade teased as Logan fought and pushed against him, trying to hold him back.

"Wade get the fuck off me! You're practically naked for fucks sake!" He grimaced when he felt something hard press against his leg, "GOD that had better be a gun in your underwear!"

Wade glanced down at his lack of attire, reaching casually inside his boxer shorts and pulling out one of his golden Desert Eagles.

"Of course it is, silly! Always gotta be prepared for anything, you know. Not particularly needed in this situation though," he tossed it over his shoulder as he continued to struggle with his friend, who grabbed a hold of his arms to keep him at bay.

"Dammit, Wade! This is-Grrrrr! Get your hands offa me!"

"But I haven't touched you yet. You're the one putting your hands on me. So if you insist on being accurate...," Wade slipped an arm free as his hand dove straight for Logan's side to begin viciously squeezing his lower ribs, making the man jerk under him as he ground his teeth together.

"Don't! Rrrrrrgh-Stop!"

"Don't stop, you say? I hadn't planned too, but glad we're on the same page here!"

Logan's grip started to weaken its hold on Wade's other arm with him now being able to easily pull free as his fingers buried themselves into the opposite side. Logan grunted and attempted to hold in all the sounds threatening to come out as he writhed and tried to push Wade off of him.

"I didn't mean thahat! Ahaha! Waitwait! D-Don't do this to mehehehee!"

He was quickly starting to lose the battle as the giggles began to overwhelm him and a wide smile stretched itself across his face. Wade could smell the blood in the water at this point and wasn't letting up for nothing, dying to see exactly how far he'd be able to run with this.

"How come? I'm gonna need a pretty good fucking reason. Is it because you're actually a lot more ticklish than you claimed? And if that's true then that means...," Wade gasped dramatically, "....you LIED to me?!" 

He roughly massaged his thumbs on the sensitive sides of his waist as Logan broke into convulsions and finally bellowed out in thunderous laughter.

"Hahahaha! No!! No no stahahahahaap! Thahahaat tickles!" His head thrashed around as he laughed and bucked in response to the merciless tickles vibrating into his sides. He futilely tried to curl up with his arms, but with Wade sitting on his legs it still left him plenty exposed.

"Duh! It's supposed to, genius! Besides you asked for this Mr. 'I-can-resist-any-torture-you-can-think-of'. Not so confident about that now, are you?" Wade grinned big time as his fingers worked their way back up his victim's ribs, making Logan's arms clamp down uselessly while his body jerked from side to side.

"It's cheheeheeheeatin'! Hehehehehaahaa! T-Ticklin' ain't fahahahaair, you ahahahasshole!"

He was slowly coming around since moving into the apartment, so it was still pretty rare to see Logan laugh this much, but Wade absolutely loved when he did. His whole reserved appearance, including his posture, completely transformed, and it was his entire face that lit up and displayed his smile.

Wade wasn't too keen to let that slip through his fingers any time soon.

"Meh, fair is subjective. Besides I was only like 33.726894% sure that this would even work on you. I've never been a gambling man, but I'm sure glad I took a chance on this because good Lord, you literally have the cutest laugh! Now perhaps you wouldn't mind telling me, where's your most ticklish spot?!"

Logan had not been tickled in a very, very long time and had completely forgotten what it had felt like. Actually, he had forgotten what a lot of non-violent physical contact felt like until he had met Wade Wilson, who was way more affectionate towards him than what he'd been used to over the past several years.

That uncertainty about what it felt like to be tickled initially had him concerned about Wade's prospective threat to do so, but at the present time he now realized that it wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.

The heightened senses derived from his mutation had resulted in him being incredibly ticklish, and while he had thought it to be a nuisance in his earlier days, he was able to see the benefit of it helping to bond with those he had found himself close to. The other X-men in particular were big time offenders once they found out.

He was never one to laugh freely or even smile all that much, so his teammates were happy to find such a simple way to get that all out of him. And it always felt nice for the laughter to release some of the tension he carried around with him no matter how much he might resist it at first.

It had mainly been his sardonic attitude or defiance that would land him in trouble with the other X-men, and he remembered how he used to egg on and taunt whoever on his team got up the nerve to really tickle him like this.

Only after they were gone had he finally accepted the fact that the X-men were his family and the feelings from those happier times all started to come back to him now. Along with the guilt of having taken all of that for granted.

With Wade currently tickling him he found it was actually a comforting feeling to relive those fleeting moments that he'd had with his old team. And even though it was such a torturous assault on his hyper nerves it didn't really bother him as much as he might have tried to make it seem.

And he wasn't going to let Wade totally dominate the situation as he didn't hesitate to play the tenacious victim.

"Fuhuhuhuck yoooou! Gaahahahahaa! I-heeheehee-wohohon't talk!" Logan spewed out between cackles as a particularly sensitive spot was being probed on his upper ribs just below his armpits.

Wade reeled back a little, feeling more than surprised by his response. He'd thought by this point that Logan would be saying anything to get himself out of this, but it filled him with unrivaled glee to see that he was going to make this a lot more fun than he had originally thought.

"Woah, what the shit is this?! So the Wolverine isn't just going to roll over and take it? Whoooeee! I love it! So not gonna talk, are you? You know I was considering mercy a moment ago, but I don't think you really deserve it. Not to mention you said mean things to me and burnt my beautiful face with that coffee! My modeling career is over before it even started!"

"And-Ahahahand I'd doohooo it agahahahain, fuhuhucker!"

"Holy shit, you cocky little bitch. I guess you really don't want me to stop, huh?"

"I-I do! Hahaahaahaahah! Juhuhust fuhuhuhuck you is ahahahahall! Now gehehet offa meheheheeh!" He kicked his legs about restlessly underneath Wade as he tried to wriggle free.

"Hold your perfect titties there, mister. I still want to know where you're the most ticklish, for future reference. So where is it? Is it....HERE?" Wade stuffed his hands up into Logan's armpits where his fingers spidered around like crazy, making Logan throw his head back and let out a high-pitched squeal of a laugh.

"Aaaheeheeheehee! Th-thaahaat ain't ihihihit! Ohohohahahahahahaa! Buhuhut still...," he paused to wheeze for air, laughing in silence for a few moments while knocking his head back against the floor, "Geh-Gehehet the fuhuhuck outta thehehehere!"

Logan thrashed like a beached fish, trying to squeeze the tormenting fingers out from under his arms but Wade only burrowed in deeper to guarantee the torture would not relent.

"No can do, compadre! I'm gonna find your worst spot if I have to tickle you all day! Don't think that I won't!"

Knowing that really Wade could locate the hot spot at any given moment with how accessible it was Logan decided to swallow his pride and tried to bargain with him.

"If I t-tehehell you-aahahhaha wihihill ya stohahahahop?!"

He was optimistic, but Wade shut that shit down immediately.

"Um NO! Actually, FUCK NO! Once you tell me I'm going to tickle the absolute shit out of you there! So I'm letting you know right now that once I figure it out then you are in big trouble!" He emphasized his last word with a firm jab to Logan's stomach, eliciting a startled squeal from the man beneath him.

Wade instantly stopped tickling him as they locked in eye contact, watching as Logan's pupils quickly began to dilate in panic within his hazel eyes.

"You've got to be shitting me.....Is it really that obvious? You're telling me that this exquisite cobblestone pathway carved into your body is not only the sexiest, but it's also the most sensitive of all?" He smiled unnervingly as he very gently trailed his fingers down Logan's belly, making him twitch violently under him from that action alone.

"Eeheehee-Easy Wade.....Lets b-be reasonable here..."

Logan knew he had to act fast to get out of this. He could hold up against being tickled anywhere else, but an attack on his stomach pretty much guaranteed his downfall.

While Wade was momentarily distracted by the marvel of his discovery Logan took the opportunity to buck his hips as hard as he could to throw the mercenary off of him.

"HEY!" Wade hit the floor before immediately looking up to see Logan attempting to make his escape, "Oh no you don't, you sneaky bastard! I'm not through with you yet!"

Logan tried to scramble away on all fours to get some distance between him and Wade, but the other man was quick to grab his ankle as he dragged him back over with Logan shaking his head and pleading for lenience.

"No no no! For fucks sake! Wade please! Dohohon't you dare!" He was giggling already in anticipation as Wade pulled him close and then crawled on top to pin him again, grinning at the subdued state he was in.

Wade thought back to all the times he had fawned over his often-shirtless friend and made countless attempts to feel up his very pronounced abdominal muscles only to receive a harsh punch along with a threat to keep his hands to himself. But he now realized it wasn't because Logan was being stingy and not wanting to be touched in general, it was because he was trying to hide the fact that his stomach was so unbearably ticklish.

"I've never seen you so giggly like this Logan. It's positively adorable. But tell you what, I'll give you a chance to save yourself if you apologize for being such an ass to me this morning. And I want to hear some sincerity in there or else your tummy is going to get it," Wade waved his fingers in Logan's face as the feral nodded without hesitation.

"Okay okay fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I referred to you as an eternal punishment. And that I implied you had no rational thought whatsoever in your head."

"And.....?" Wade lightly rested his fingers onto Logan's stomach as a threat, pleased to see how it made him dissolve into giggles again.

"Aahaahaand I'm s-sorry I buhuhurned your face-Aaahee!" he yelped as the fingers dug in ever so slightly.

"My beautiful face!" Wade corrected with a smirk of victory.

"Okaahaay! Your beautiful faahaace with the coffeeheeheehee," Logan sputtered out the best that he could, grateful when Wade lifted his hand away from the hyper ticklish zone.

"Well thanks for that, pal. See? That wasn't so difficult, was it? I knew deep down you had a little humility in there," Wade tweaked his sideburn and tickled down his neck as Logan wiggled his head away from the touch before meeting his gaze with a defiant twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh yeah, one more thing I oughta mention. I'm also sorry that you are without a doubt, one hundred percent the most annoying, blabbering, dimwitted, lousy excuse for a comedian to ever exist. And I'm sorry I lied about being sorry for everything because the truth is I will never, ever be truly sorRYEEHeeHEeehEEhEE!!"

Logan had tried to prep himself but still couldn't stop from breaking into wild, squealing laughter once Wade's hands descended upon his stomach with lightning speed; his fingers scribbling like crazy all over the hidden muscles beneath his thin t-shirt. Wade just beamed down at him, not taking anything that was said to heart and so glad that Logan had given him the excuse to carry on.

"Whelp. I guess this is how it all ends for you. Tickled to death isn't exactly how most people would have expected the legendary Wolverine to go, but I'll make sure to sing the story of your menial demise," he wasn't holding back since Logan had practically asked for this as he mercilessly tickled the helplessly squirming man beneath him.

"Ihihihihit wahahas wo-wohohohorth ihihihit! Aaahahahafuhuhuhuhuck! Nohohot thehehere! Stahahahahahap-Snnnrk!" Logan's face was already bright red from his ears down to his neck as he laughed uncontrollably with that last sound that came out of him immediately catching Wade's attention.

"What in the-? What the fuck was that?" A quirky smile began to spread over Wade's face as he haphazardly dug his fingers into Logan's abs, eager to duplicate what had just occurred., "Was that a snort?"

Wade already had him in tears as Logan adamantly shook his head, instantly being disproven as another snort rang out of his scrunched-up nose.

"Snnrk! N-No! Yohohohou're hehehehehearin' thihihihings!"

Wade had heard Logan snort before. Many times, as a matter of fact, but he always thought it was something that Logan forced to emphasize his aversion to whatever Wade was currently talking about. Wade was positively enamored to know now that it was all just part of his genuine laugh.

"Are you sure about that? Are you sure you're not just a cute little giggly, snorty Wolverine? Because I think that's exactly what you are."

"Shuhuhut uhuhuhup! Ya-Snnnrk-dihihihick!" Logan felt his face flush even more with Wade teasing him in such a childish manner, too weakened by his laughter to be able to push the hyper man's hands away from his body.

As his fingers rippled into the solid tummy Wade grew more and more amused by this whole situation. He would have never been able to picture Logan in this helpless of a state if he hadn't seen it for himself and when you added in his constant snorting between his laughs it just pushed everything straight into a fantasy realm.

But it was all happening for real. And the more Logan snorted, the more Wade himself began to laugh.

"Wh-Whahat's the matter? Hehehe, the all-mighty anchor-being can be destrohohoyed by mere tickles? Oh, this universe is f-fuhuucked now," Wade giggled, trying to keep his focus and observing how Logan's t-shirt had slid up his stomach a bit. He pushed it up even further so now his hands were scratching at hairy, bare skin as Logan screamed and thrashed helplessly underneath him.

"Naaahahahahahaha! I-I nehehehever-Snnnrk-ahahahasked for-Snnrk-the johohohob! Snnnnrk!" Logan was losing control and unable to stop the snorting now as he would desperately try to get a breath in through his chaotic laughter.

"Are-Are yoohoou just gohohoing to keep doing thahaat?! Snorting lihihike a little pihihiggy?!" Wade was starting to lose it himself.

"Snnnrk! Kihihiss my ahaahaahaass-Snnnnrk!!"

"I'd love too-heeheeheh! Ohohor I could dohoo THIS!" Wade's hands slid down as he targeted the ever so tempting V-line muscles on the Wolverine's lower belly and once he dug into the highly ticklish flesh Logan just about lost his mind in hysterics.

"BAAHAHAHAHAHAHANOOONO! SNNNRK! OKAAHAAHAAY! YA WIHIHIHIN! AAAHAHAHAAH-SNNNNRK! MEHEHEHRCY! I'M-SNNRK-I'M SOHOHOHORRY!" Logan squealed and snorted as he regained a burst of energy and jolted around violently like he was being shocked with a cattle prod.

It had proven all too much for Wade to stay composed as he broke into uncontrollable laughter, unable to keep tickling Logan any longer as he sat back and just got lost in his own laughing fit.

Logan lay under him, now motionless and wheezing as he gasped to take in some big breaths to refill his depleted lungs. When he finally came to his senses, he found Wade was still laughing hysterically, prompting Logan to roll his eyes and shove the merc off of him so he could sit up.

Wade hardly seemed to notice as he fell to the floor, holding his sides while tears ran down his cheeks.

"What?" Logan stared over at him with a brow raised in confused annoyance.

"Th-The snohohohorts! Haahahahahah! Oh fuhuhuhuck, the snohohohohohorts!" Wade struggled to spit out as Logan now began to frown once he realized that Wade was laughing at him.

"It's not that funny, asshole," he growled, starting to feel insecure and regretting that he'd let his guard down so much. With no end to Wade's laughter in sight Logan went to stand up but was stopped as Wade leapt forward to grab onto him as he finally got under control to speak again.

"I'm-I'm sorry I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you embarrassed! Sometimes my brain just processes my emotions in ways I can't control so please don't take it the wrong way. I just got so happy and excited when I saw that snorting is part of your natural laugh. I LOVE it!"

"You're not just saying that shit?" Logan asked, still feeling unsure, though Wade looked absolutely horrified that he had even asked that.

"NO, I'm not just saying that! I'm sorry I'm an idiot and made you self-conscious about it. It's literally the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen! You believe me, right?" He looked hopefully at the other man who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure. Whatever."

Logan did in fact believe him. Wade was usually pretty upfront when talking about things like this so he had no real reason to think that he was simply trying to spare his feelings.

Wade however, took his short, blunt answer as rejection as he wailed and threw his arms around Logan's waist to cling to him tightly.

"Noooo don't shut down on me! Please forgive me, Peanut! Pleeeeeease!"

Logan sighed heavily at how overdramatic Wade could be.

"Calm down, will ya? When I said 'whatever' I meant it's okay. You're fine. Now get off and stop groveling," he pried Wade's arms from around him as the merc then flopped onto his stomach, resting his chin on his hands and kicking his feet in the air.

"I'm not kidding, I could listen to your laughing snorts all day and it would never get old," he stared up at his roommate adoringly, "Sorry if I went a little overboard on you though." 

"You call that a little overboard?" Logan's eyebrow crawled up his forehead as Wade's mouth dropped at the implication that he was responsible for everything.

"Hey, wait a fucking minute here, don't put this all on me. You were asking for it with all that shit you were talking, which was....well, surprising. I'd assumed you never got tickled much in your life, but you seemed pretty familiar with it," he sat up and finally retied his robe closed around him.

Logan smiled slightly as he started to wander inside his head.

"It was another lifetime ago, but yeah. My old team used to tickle me sometimes. Been so long that honestly, I was pretty nervous about you trying it."

"Ah shit, I really am an asshole," Wade felt a tang of guilt in his chest, knowing the X-men were still a very sore spot for Logan, "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Confusion set over Logan's face.

"What for?"

"You know, for bringing up old memories you had with them. Don't worry, I won't do it again. I hope it didn't upset you too much."

Logan's puzzled expression then changed with a soft smile slowly breaking out.

"Wade ya got it all wrong. I'd have literally killed just to share in such mundane moments like that with them again. So once ya started tickling me it just, I don't know....made me think of those good times and...," he stopped as he looked away with a shake of his head, "Ah never mind, it's stupid."

"No no, it's not. Please keep going," Wade encouraged, scooting closer to indicate to Logan that he had his full attention.

"All I'm sayin' is that ya didn't upset me one bit. The opposite, in fact. That whole torture fest that you just put me through made me feel like I was with them again. I haven't felt that close to them ever since they were taken from me. And, well, what I'm trying to say is is that I felt.....happy."

Wade could feel his heart swelling up in his chest as Logan revealed all of this information to him. He instantly felt a lot better knowing that he hadn't caused his friend any mental anguish.

"That's such a big relief. You never seem to want to talk about them much, so I try to avoid making you think about them. The last thing I want to do is make you depressed."

"I know, but I've decided that's not what I should be doing. They don't deserve to not be openly remembered. Hell, I never want to forget anything about 'em."

Wade nodded in quiet understanding before Logan's eyes brightened up, reaching back into his mind.

"Kurt was the worst. He used to always get me bad. Really bad. Teleportation and a prehensile tail? It was always over for me before it even started. Heh, that fucker. Shit, even Jean and Scott would gang up on me once in a while. I tell ya, telekinesis is the ultimate cheat. And Rogue....she loved physical contact so you can guess that tickle fights were one of her favorite things. And I'd let her win once in a while....at least that's what I told myself, hmph."

Wade had never really heard Logan talk about his teammates before. It made him overjoyed to see he was starting to move forward in the right direction towards making peace with himself as Wade listened in silence to everything Logan said before finding his voice again.

"They sound like my kind of people. I think Nightcrawler and I would have made a formidable team-up against you," he playfully nudged Logan's shoulder as the X-man's smile grew from his mind manifesting an image of his old friend.

"Heh, Kurt. Yeah, he was something else. His goal was always trying to get me to snort too. He used to do those.....whaddya call that shit....raspberries. Right on my stomach. Just about damn near killed me," Logan chuckled and shook his head with a faint shiver running up his back; almost able to feel the sensation again as he thought about it.

Wade smirked as he rubbed his chin in thought like a supervillain.

"Ohhh reeeeeally....raspberries, huh? Well that sounds like it could be really fun. Remind me about it the next time I decide to tickle the shit out of you, kay?" Wade reached over and wiggled fingers into Logan's stomach, making him bust out a laugh before shoving the hand away.

"No fucking way. It's pure torture. Ya better not even think about it," he growled, but his words did not sound nearly as serious as he wanted Wade to believe. Of course, the other man picked up on that immediately but continued to play along.

"How can you expect me not to? I've never seen such ticklish abs. But okay. I'll think about not doing it, but no promises. So I suppose that means belly rubs are off the table too?"

Logan laughed again as he looked over at Wade.

"It's funny you say that because Jean and 'Ro used to give me belly rubs, thinking it would relax me, but it always just made me ticklish. I think that's partly why they liked doin' it, but regardless I never tried to stop them. Hell, sometimes I'd even ask for it. As much as it tickled it did feel pretty good."

"Well, I know I'm not nearly as hot as those X-women, but I'll always be here to give you all the belly rubs you could ever want," Wade chuckled, expecting Logan to roll his eyes and vehemently decline his offer, but instead a rare, warm smile broke onto the Wolverine's face.

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I would! You want one now?"

Logan shook his head as he got to his feet.

"Eh, maybe later. How about ya get your ass dressed first and we'll go out for a beer?"

Wade just stared back at him with both brows raised while he stood up as well.

"......It's 8:30 in the morning, Logan."

"Hey, breakfast beer is a thing, alright? Least it was in my universe. Kurt was always down to go with me so if ya want to.....it would mean a lot," a true, genuine smile was on Logan's face as he looked hopefully to his roommate.

Wade couldn't say no even if he actually wanted to. Logan was finally letting him into that side of his life, and he was not going to deny him. It felt like a new beginning. So he sidled up next to him and grinned broadly, putting an arm around the wide shoulders.

"Alright ya big lug, you talked me into it. Just give me a minute and then we'll go get fucked up."

"Appreciate it."

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 1)

pairing: satosugu/reader

word count: 8k (oops)

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, suguru has depression, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant sex, vaginal sex, anal play, you and satoru are gonna rizz suguru with the 'tism, uhhh let me know if there's something else i need to add!

comments: once again it's just pure self-indulgence! we need more autistic reader inserts! and more autistic satoru! this is also posted on Ao3!

No.

Yes?

As you tap the pencil against the table irritably, you squint down at the sketchbook. You twirl the pencil around and move to erase the bottom portion of the sketch but hesitate. Did it…? Ugh! Why are you like this? You’d been so keen to soak in all the distinct details to remember those that you completely missed the basic. Did this damned cursed spirit have legs or not? The rest of it had been so floaty. Surely, it wouldn’t have any use of them. Right? Then again, the forms of curses sometimes make no sense at all.

Hmm, alright. There had been a ripped, worn cloak. Red and blue ribbons that could easily be mistaken as toilet paper to a panicked non-sorcerer. Unkempt hair and bald spots. There’d been a mask, but the curse sensed no hostility or prey, so it didn’t reveal what was underneath. You debated on calling a sorcerer in to lure the spirit in to a fight, but you don’t have the energy to deal with strangers and anyone close would snitch.

You tap on the screen of your phone, flicking away the text that you’ve already read. There is someone that could collect that curse for you…but then he would wonder why you know about the exact location in the first place. No, no. Best not to tempt fate like that. Besides, if you have to sit here and debate whether it had legs or not, isn’t that some indication that there had to be something there in the first place?

About twenty minutes later, the front door opens, and you’re finishing sharpening the colored pencils. A shame that you can’t color this particular sketch, you think as you flip back to the front, but your much less non-threatening sketch of Nue needs to be colored, anyway.

“I’m home!”

There’s a noticeable crinkle of bags that gets closer and closer to the kitchen. Many of them. Perhaps it’s your humble upbringing or it’s inherently you, but this inclination of his for spoiling you will never not fluster you. These days, you can let it slide a little more since it’s not only you that’s being spoiled anymore. Or maybe, after nearly a decade of knowing him, you understand that this is a way he communicates.

When you look over your shoulder, you can’t help but smile at the sight of him in the doorway. Sure enough, he’s loaded up with bags. Some are plastic ones from the konbini, some a little nicer and prettier, and some are outright designer bags. Those ones, you note, are not for you.

“Welcome home, Satoru.”

Satoru hesitates before he tosses all the bags away from his arms and throws himself at you with what can only be described as a manly squeal. “Waa! I have the cutest wife!” You’re prepared for a full body attack, but Satoru only plasters himself across your back, and wraps you up in his arms. He’s unbearably gentle about it. “How are my babies, hmm?” His hands flick away some pencil shavings before they rest on your belly. “Ugh, I could kill those geezers for keeping me away for so long. You’re so big now!”

You tilt your head back, deadpanning his upside-down face. “You’re so lucky that you’re married to me. I think other women would think you’re calling them fat.”

“Would they?”

“It’s like you don’t pay attention to people at all.”

“I only pay attention to the ones I like!”

You pat the tops of his hands. “I know, darling. I know.” It’s then that you notice a little something. You turn around in his arms so you can study him fully, specifically his neck. “Speaking of people you like…” Curiously, you reach up to touch the bruise just barely peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. Satoru tenses at your touch, smile faltering, but relaxes when you only ask, “Why on earth did they call for Suguru?”

“Eh. You know the protocol when there’s more than two Semi-Grade 1’s.”

Your eyes light up. “There was more than one?! How many?! What did they look like?!”

“Why yes, dearest, we’re both fine. Thank you so much for asking, dearest. Oh, no, dearest, don’t be so concerned since you’re oozing with it right now.”

You wave away the sarcasm. “Shut up. Did one of the spirits have a technique to switch bodies? Because you don’t know how much you sounded like Suguru just then.” Satoru snorts. You won’t let him interrupt your very important research. Vibrating with excitement, you spin around to snatch your sketchbook from the counter and start flipping for the next open blank page. You don’t have many pages left, though. You need a new sketchbook. “You got sweets, right? Describe the spirits while we taste-test them!”

From over your shoulder, a hand slaps down on your sketchbook so hard that you squeak. “Darling,” comes Satoru’s sing-song voice. Shit. “My most beloved Sketch,” he goes on to croon. He’s pressing you against the counter to block your escape. You wonder if you wiggle your ass if that could distract him. If he’s still got hickeys, it hasn’t been too long since Suguru fucked him, but Satoru seems like he’s having a good day, and his libido is sky-high on those days. “Mother of my child,” he stresses. “What is that?”

Oh, you’re definitely sweating now. You could try to lie…or you could play dirty. Yes. That one. You pull on the perpetuate restlessness that’s set in since you were benched and that puts tears in your eyes. Once again, you’re turning around in his arms and looking up at him.

“It was Aka Manto, Satoru!” You fist your hands in the front of his jacket. “Aka Manto!” The way that he tilts his head back and slaps a hand over his eyes means you’re successfully hitting him below the belt. “How could I resist? That would be like putting Agumon, here and in the flesh, right in front of you and expecting you to walk away!”

“Agumon?” Abort! You shouldn’t have invoked his special interest! “Okay, if I was you and I was pregnant and Greymon was the one in front of me then you’d have a case! You risked your life for an Agumon-level spirit? I don’t know whether to be mad or disappointed! You could’ve totally resisted that!”

“I couldn’t! I heard those teenagers gossiping and heard them talk about the red and blue toilet paper and all the possibilities started running through my head!” You blindly slap a hand against the sketch. “This is a good thing! I can keep myself busy with researching! I have to figure out if it’s a true vengeful cursed spirit or an imaginary vengeful cursed spirit before I register it!”

“Register?” Oh. Oh, no. You’ve done it now. “Register implies Special Grade.” You know you’re in serious trouble when he slips his blindfold off. Damn your empathy! You should’ve made sure every single light in the apartment was on before he got home! Satoru is one of the few people that you can stand eye contact with, but not so much now. You don’t want to make him angrier, though, so you look at his forehead instead to give the appearance of eye contact. “I know my super intelligent wife wouldn’t put herself alone with a Special Grade.”

“Never,” you chirp nervously. “On a totally unrelated note, did you know that those geezers are super pissed right now? They had to fork over a ridiculous amount of money to reward Mei-Mei for capturing a Special Grade. Heh…heh…”

Then, Satoru…disappears.

The sudden loss of his support makes you stumble, and you have to catch yourself on the counter. The gust of wind from his warping sends colored pencils rolling off the counter. Just as you’re crouching down to pick them up, Satoru is back, and he’s not alone.

“Oh. Hello, Sugu—”

“Talk some sense into your stupid best friend!” Satoru demands of a flustered Suguru who is trying to recover from being warped so suddenly. To everyone but Satoru, warping is jarring.

“Isn’t that you?” Both you and Suguru intone at the same time.

Satoru harrumphs before he’s stomping off to pick up all his shopping bags and leave the kitchen. Knowing him, he’s going to sit on the couch and aggressively eat his haul until he makes himself sick. This temper tantrum is starting to get under your skin, especially when you think about him getting crumbs on the couch. Just the thought of sitting on the couch and getting bombarded with them makes you want to claw at your skin already.

Suguru touches your shoulder in warning before he slips it under your arm. “Let me do that,” he insists before he helps you up on your feet. Then, he crouches down to gather up all your colored pencils, examining the ends on your behalf. He separates out the ones that will need to be re-sharpened. “What have you done now, Squid?”

“Sketch, Squid—can you two come up with cooler, more original nicknames for me?”

“Those are original,” he replies with a smirk. “You have no one to blame but yourself. It’s not my fault that you were torturing a squid spirit when we first met.”

“I was six, Suguru.”

“And have you changed at all since then, Squid?” You refuse to answer that. Suguru, though, has known you longer than anyone else. “That’s what he’s angry about, right? That’s the only reason he drags me into your fights. As if I’ve ever been able to stop you from doing what you want.”

“I have a cursed technique!” You announce loudly enough that Satoru can hear you from the couch. “Have you both forgotten that the whole point of my technique is to not be seen by spirits? I can pacify them! If I actually thought that I was in danger, I wouldn’t have gone near it!”

Suguru sighs softly before he raises up to his feet. “You know that you have a tendency for tunnel vision when you’re excited.”

“It was Aka Manto,” you whine.

“Aka Manto is Special Grade?” His nose crinkles in disgust. “Ew.”

“Just based off a preliminary search, the legend has been around since the thirties, at least. It could be longer. So, it’s had time to establish itself and accumulate power. I’m surprised it’s gone so long without being exorcised, but a spirit that haunts bathrooms is probably something that sorcerers think are beneath them—”

Suguru interrupts your hypothesizing with a finger to your lips. “This isn’t only about you anymore, okay?”

“No one cared about this before I got knocked up,” you snap.

“They did,” he sings. “You don’t want to admit it because you’re trying to be manipulative right now.” The accusation has your jaw dropping. “You’ve always been a non-combatant sorcerer, Squid. Just like Shoko, hmm? When you’re on a mission, you’re paired with an active sorcerer. Does that sound like no one caring?”

You try to dismiss the point with a snide, “They only care about me like a prized scientist, same as Shoko. I’ve dedicated all this time to studying and researching cursed spirits out in the field. I can categorize them and seal them better than any other sorcerer can.”

“The higher-ups only see you as that, but Satoru and I don’t. There are others, of course. Most of the auxiliary managers adore you. More importantly, there’s Nanamin, Shoko, Nanako, Mimiko, Tsumiki, Megumi—”

As quickly as your temper flared up, all that wind leaves your sails. “Alright, Suguru, I get it. You don’t have to keep adding salt to the wound.” You shuffle past him to plop down in a chair. “It’s just…hard.” And since you know that Satoru can and is listening to this conversation, you add, “Imagine Satoru being completely cut off from anything Digimon for nine months. This is my Digimon. Cursed spirits are my thing, y’know?”

Suguru follows after you, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck to pull you forward. You bury your face against his belly, practically purring when he starts lightly scratching his nails against your scalp. “I’m really proud of how well you’ve been dealing with all these changes. I know that is even harder. The unexpected pregnancy, the…what do Americans call it? Shotgun wedding?”

“Changes are easier when I have you and Satoru,” you mumble against his shirt.

Suguru’s hands momentarily still. “You make things so hard on me, Squid.”

“I know.”

“It’s not for the reason you think.”

“What’s the reason, then?”

“Nothing that I can talk about.” Your brows furrowing, you tilt your head up, digging your chin against his stomach hard. With how toned it is, you doubt that he can feel it. Cryptic asshole. “Why don’t I start collecting curses again, hmm? It’s safer when they’re under my control.”

“No.”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “Who is treating who like glass now? Don’t you know? I’m Special Grade sorcerer, Geto Suguru. I can handle swallowing some cursed spirits—”

“I said no.”

As if you would add to his burden like that. As if you’d add fuel to the fire. Suguru doesn’t think that you and Satoru can’t see he’s in an episode right now. If he hadn’t been forcefully called out on that mission, you aren’t sure how long he’d go on with locking himself away from the outside world. The girls help bring a piece of the world to him, keep him afloat when he blocks you and Satoru out, and give you updates on how he’s doing.

It’s a slippery slope, the curse consumption. It’s like rot. Too much and it can fester inside him. It could be something else like the loss of a student. Sometimes, it’s reminders of that fateful day during second year of high school or that night that he found the twins.

Whatever the trigger, his episode always starts the same. Sleepless nights that leave him sleeping throughout the day to make up for it, though nothing ever helps ease that overwhelming exhaustion. Teaching drains what little energy he has. Parenting doesn’t help, either, because he always tries to put on the best face that he can in front of the girls despite how much he’s fraying at the edges.

So, a normally punctual Suguru begins to be late to work. The circles under his eyes grow darker. His lack of attention can almost match Satoru’s. Conversations are forgotten, plans are dropped. It builds. It’s when he starts missing meals, not only for himself but also for the girls, that his self-loathing gets bad. They know how to cook for themselves, but you always tell them to call you or Satoru immediately if they have to do it more often in a week than not.

“I’ll deal with it,” you insist. “I need a new hobby, anyway.” You lock your arms around him, squeezing tight. “I’ve had to watch a bunch of documentaries to help me sleep. Sharks are really cool.”

“We’ll take the kids to an aquarium, then,” he whispers.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Your eyes meet his. “Do you mean that? Are you done ignoring me and Satoru?”

Suguru closes his eyes, sighing softly. Then, he smiles, taking being called out in stride. And, by stride, you mean simply avoiding the conversation. “Shall I bring the girls to stay the night with us?”

“Please.”

“You’re so spoiled, Squid. You’re no better than Satoru.”

“You’d be spoiled, too, if you let us.”

“I’m already spoiled enough as it is.”

“How?”

Suguru gives you one last scritch on the scalp before he steps away and calls out, “Satoru, would you like to take me home so I can pick up the girls? Do you think we should stop for Megumi and Tsumiki?”

Pregnant lady privileges give you access to the shower first.

Throughout said shower, you can hear the raised voices of competitive children and Satoru as they all have a tournament on the old 64. It’s a welcome distraction since you got so scatterbrained that you forgot to bring clothes with you and have to sneak back to your bedroom.

There’s a hoodie on your side of the bed, one that you’ve never seen. Your expression softens at the sight of it. The bag off to the side tells you that this is something Satoru bought for you, and this is also his way of reaching out after your earlier argument. It’s both an olive branch and a warning that he wants to talk, that he’ll do it in good faith, and that if his natural bluntness comes off as rude or out of pocket then it’s unintentional.

You shove your face against the hoodie after you pick it up, rubbing your face against it like a cat because the material is so soft and feels so good. It’s thin, too, so it won’t leave you sweltering since your temperature is running hotter these days. It’s two-sizes too big, so even Satoru can fit in it. You wonder how far his sweetness goes—if he got it so big so that he could wear it because he likes how it feels or because he’ll leave his scent on it for you? It’s probably both.

“Kitten.”

Keeping the hoodie pressed against your cheek, you turn your head to pout at Suguru. “You’re meaner today than usual.”

“Giving you cute nicknames is mean?”

���How is squid cute? Octopi are the cutest cephalopod.”

Suguru merely hums and leaves it at that. You don’t miss the click of the lock behind him before he saunters over to stand beside you. “Earlier, you asked me how I’m spoiled,” he starts as he drops down on the edge of the mattress. “I had an answer, but it wasn’t an appropriate time to give it.” He glances up at you from under those thick lashes, with those violet eyes, acting so damn coy. “Do you want to hear it now?”

“Does it have to do with all those hickeys on Satoru’s neck?”

“It does.” You slide between his legs spread so wide that it’s obscene. The gesture, along with reaching out to grip his shoulders, is enough to tell him that you’re okay being touched today. You think you are, but then his hands brush along the side of your bump as he’s going to place his hands on your hips, and you flinch away from the touch with your whole body. “Shit. Sorry. I read you wrong—”

You check yourself. It wasn’t so much the touch, you think, as it was the reminder that Suguru has been…avoiding you a lot more than he does Satoru. “No. Um…” You rein it back in and stop touching him. “I want to make sure I’m not reading you wrong. We haven’t…y’know…since before I got knocked up. Well, before I started showing, anyway.” You wave a hand over your bump. “If this bothers you, I can go get Satoru.”

Suguru breathes out your name. “I don’t want him right now. I want you.” His gaze darts away, looking guilty. “I’m sorry. After you made the announcement, I didn’t want to cause you more stress.”

“When have I ever held back from telling you that I’m not up to it on any given day? Isn’t that how this whole thing between us three started? For the days when my libido and Satoru’s can’t synch up?”

Jujutsu sorcerers like to fuck.

When you live your life in such a bleak and deadly world, you cope however you can. It’s mostly through smoking, drinking, and sex. You, Satoru, and Suguru are no exception. Satoru may be the worst, though, because he never really has the chance to go all-out in the field. Most of the time, if he’s not overstimulated or mentally drained, then he’s buzzing with physical and mental energy. So, when he is home, he fucks like a stallion.

In your role, you work with people a lot. You may meet with the higher-ups more often than Satoru does to report on research or answer their questions after an incident. The more stressed you are, the easier it is for you to get overstimulated, and you don’t like to be touched when the world is screaming at you from every angle.

You don’t even remember how the idea came up…

Oh, it might’ve been you and Satoru making dirty jokes about sore wrists. After you and Satoru complained to Suguru about how old touching yourselves was getting, he offered himself up. It’s a win-win, he reasoned, because he’d been on too long a dry spell that he wanted to break, and you and Satoru could get your needs taken care of without one or the other feeling guilty or having your hands or fingers falling off.

Greedy you, greedy Satoru…how could you both turn that down?

“You’ve had a lot more to worry about the past five months than sucking my dick.”

“You ever think that sucking your dick makes me worry less?”

Suguru laughs and holds out a hand. “Come here, Squid.”

That’s how you end up where you are now. Face down, ass up, pillow tucked under your tummy, and Suguru doing his best to be quiet as he pounds into you in case any little ears are up against the door. You’re biting down on your chew necklace because it’ll be a cold day in hell before you willingly bite down on cloth for an extended amount of time. You don’t know how Satoru does it, but he doesn’t know how you can handle rolling around in wet sheets. If he forgives you now, he’ll be pissed again when he hears you dropped your towel and jumped Suguru’s bones.

The second trimester saw you getting hit by the horny truck. It hasn’t even been that long since he got his cock inside you, but you’re a fucking livewire these days. You exist on a low burn and you’re always on a hair trigger. Your nipples are off limits because the first trimester tenderness still has a chokehold on you, so he’s keeping his hands busy by spreading your cheeks and watching the slide of his cock in and out of you.

Suguru, who can get a little mean in bed, thumbs at your asshole, and that sends you over the edge. You catch yourself before you give the game away to the damn kids, throwing your head forward to bury your face and your moans in the mattress. Your entire body trembles and Suguru’s hips slow to a crawl, letting you come down without sensitivity, groaning quietly as your pussy tries to milk him for all he’s worth.

He hunches over, back bowed over yours, leaning until his breath is hot on the shell of your ear. “This is how you spoil me,” he husks as he reaches down between your legs. You hiss when his fingers quickly glide over your clit. “You and this perfect little pussy.” You roll your face against the sheets, moaning because if he doesn’t shut the fuck up, you might come again. “I can’t believe you thought that I wouldn’t want this.”

Panting, you turn your head to the side and spit out the gem-shaped silicone in your mouth. “Sorry for thinking that pregnancy doesn’t look good on me.”

“You should be sorry. It looks beautiful on you.” Your hand flies back, digging fingers into his ass, trying to keep him inside you when he slides out. You whine at the loss. “Impatient,” he chides. “On your back. Let me see that gorgeous body.” Heat crawls up the back of your neck, the tips of your ears.

“Stop it. You know I’m bad with sarcasm,” you grumble. You do as he says, though, and roll over. The pillow, previously under your stomach, is now in the small of your back and you sigh in relief. Your back has been aching something fierce lately. “Ugh, Suguru!” You cover your face with your hands because he’s staring at you. Gaze sweeping over your body, fingers following along with his eyes. “Stop looking! Leave that for Satoru.”

“It’s not sarcasm. Pregnancy looks so good on you.” You squeak when he grabs your hips, roughly hauling you down to settle the backs of your thighs over his. You’re not looking, but he slaps his cock against your pussy, making you squirm. You do dig a heel against his ass, trying to hurry him up. “It may have been an accident, but knowing that Satoru came inside you…” He slides back inside your pussy. “Knowing that it stuck…” His hands cup the sides of your bump. “You have no idea how jealous of him I’ve been.”

Your hands fall away from your face. “Okay.” Shyly, you reach down and lace your fingers through his. “Next time, I’ll let you accidentally knock me up.”

“It’s not an accident if it’s planned.”

The two of you snort and grin and you just start giggling. “You’re such an asshole.” You throw your arms over your eyes. You think you might cry. You’re a whirlwind of emotions—horniness and happiness with a shit-ton of longing. “Can you just let me say I wanna have your baby?”

I love you.

Would Satoru be mad if you said it now?

“A married woman saying things like that?” Finally, Suguru starts moving. It helps distract you from the words stuck in your teeth. “How lewd.”

“Pregnant Married Woman Begs for New Daddy—how’s that for a JAV title?” Suguru can’t hide the hitch in his breath, the way his fingers dig harder into your skin, how his thrusts pick up speed. You lift your arm up, peering at him, grinning in sadistic delight when you see how red his cheeks are. “Do you wanna be our daddy, Suguru?”

Suguru can talk all that sexy shit but can’t take it? Because he reaches down to start rubbing slow circles around your clit, knowing that letting your orgasm build slowly makes your brain leak out through your ears. Sure enough, the heat starts in your toes, and pleasure rushes through your veins.

“You first,” you breathe out as you clutch at his wrist. “Want that come inside me when I go off.”

“Whatever you want, darling.”

You’re not sure how long you doze after you and Suguru were done. He’d wiped you down because you hate your skin to be sticky, same as Satoru. Which, speaking of, he’s in bed with you when you wake up—propped back against the headboard, shirtless, and on the 3DS. You shuffle closer, putting your head in his lap, and listen to the familiar sounds of Ocarina of Time 3D.

“I can’t wait until the new Animal Crossing in November,” Satoru gripes.

“Just play Pokémon. Did you know that there’s this challenge that’s spreading around on the internet? It’s called Nuzlocke and it’s supposed to be super hard. It’s up your alley.” His thumbs briefly pause. You know the challenge entices him. “You’re not betraying Digimon by playing Pokémon, I promise.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He snaps the 3DS shut, not even bothering to save his progress.

You lean forward to kiss his tummy, right over the scar that runs from his neck down along the upper half of his body. The day that he got this scar…it was and still is such a stark reminder that, no matter what, all sorcerers share the same fate. Just because Aka Manto didn’t notice you doesn’t mean another spirit won’t. “I’m sorry, Satoru,” you apologize quietly. “I really did fuck up with this. It’s so easy for me to forget that these aren’t pets or even comparable with wild animals.”

“I get it, I guess. Well, not really. It’s like me cutting myself off from sweets and I don’t think I can do that. So, I don’t get what it feels like when you can’t be around your thing. Ugh. Why did we ever get in a relationship? Talking about feelings sucks.”

You giggle. “You’re doing well.”

“You’re not being sarcastic, are you? Because I’m kinda freaking out. I’ve got four months to get my shit together.” He digs the heels of his palms against his eyes, groaning with frustration. “Yeah, sure, I can handle teenagers or those kids out there.” He means the twins and Fushiguro siblings. “They’re not babies, though. What the fuck do I do with a baby? And, let’s be honest, those kids are all pretty fucked up already, but the thought that I can fuck a kid up?”

You raise up on an elbow, watching him. “Satoru…”

“Oh, Christ. I’m having an existential crisis, Sketch. I’m a walking cliché right now. What if I become my old man? Are you gonna end up resenting me, too? Holy fuck, what if we turn into my parents? I have a horrible personality. I’m so selfish and conceited. I’m going to hurt this kid. I—”

Oh, okay. Has Satoru ever had a panic attack? Because you think he might be having one. “Satoru,” you call out as you press your hand against his chest. Under the skin, his heart is beating like crazy. “Hey, Satoru, I need you to look at me.” He does as you ask, sparkling blue eyes a little crazed with his dread. “Why isn’t Infinity on?”

“Huh?” He blinks out of the haze and looks down at where you’re touching him. “What? Why the fuck would Infinity be on right now? You’re touching me.”

“Right, but you’re scared right now. Infinity is your defense mechanism. Sometimes, you don’t even realize it’s flaring up when you get overstimulated. It usually blocks everything out.”

He squints at you before he repeats, “You’re touching me.”

“If you were selfish, your body wouldn’t care that it’s me, right? You’re not even thinking about it consciously. Keeping me safe, even from yourself, is instinct.”

“You might be reaching…”

“You could’ve let the Zen’in clan take Megumi,” you point out. “You took in the children of the only man that’s ever gotten close to killing you.” You lift up from the mattress completely, yanking the sheets up and over your bare shoulders. “You actively participate in the system you hate because you want to rework it from the inside-out, top-down. You want to protect kids, so why wouldn’t that extend to your own?”

“Fine, I won’t actively hurt the kid and I’ll make sure they don’t get physically hurt. That doesn’t mean—”

The pieces start to add up. Suguru isn’t the only one that’s been spiraling. “Were you doing retail therapy? Is that what all the bags are for? Don’t answer. I already know.” No wonder he’s been so snippy lately. “We got shoved into this. I’m doing okay right now, but I’ve lost my shit sometimes when you’re not around. I’m scared shitless that I’ll end up exactly like my parents, too. But…if I keep thinking about it then I will end up like them. I’ll get so lost in my head that I ignore this baby.”

“You’ve lost your shit and didn’t tell me?”

“That’s what you’re focused on?” You shake your head, chuckling in disbelief. “Yes, I did. Because I’m pretty sure that having a mental breakdown is a rite of passage for soon-to-be parents.” Lacing your fingers through his, you give a reassuring squeeze. “I know how terrifying this is. This might not help calm you down because you’re a little bit of a control freak, but you need to get it in your head now that we’re never gonna have all the answers and we’re gonna fuck up. All we can do is apologize and try to do better.”

Satoru’s cheeks puff out and his bottom lip juts out. “I hate unknowns.”

“Like I said—control freak.”

“Shut up.” He tugs at your hand. “Hey, come here. Sit in my lap.”

“Yes, yes.”

Satoru holds out his other hand, letting you use them as support while you climb up to straddle his waist. He tilts his head forward, shoving his face right between your breasts, and sighs happily like the little pervert he is. You only encourage the behavior with your quiet giggling.

“Sorry for being a bitch earlier,” comes a muffled apology.

“You weren’t being a bitch. Dare I say…you were actually mature about it.” He digs his fingers into your ticklish side, making you squawk. “I’m being serious! You knew you didn’t have a level head and couldn’t handle it sensitively, so you went to get help.”

“Ha!” He leans away from your chest. “You’re definitely overthinking my actions. It boiled down to me not wanting to deal with you anymore.” Yeah, right. What a fucking liar. “And what good did it do me to get that asshole? He leaves me to babysit his kids while he fucks my pregnant wife.”

“Joke is on you because you’re into sloppy seconds.”

“Heh! Fuck yeah, I am.” He sighs sadly. “I wanna fuck you so bad right now. I wish I had the mental energy to get it up.”

“We’ll cuddle tonight and have really gross, lovey-dovey morning sex. Sound good?”

Satoru bats those big, stupidly blue eyes at you. This drama queen somehow has tears in them and his bottom lip wobbles as he asks, “Can I suck on your nipples? I promise I’ll be gentle.”

“We’ll see.” You run your fingers through his hair. “You did really good today. If they’re too sore, I’ll make you chocolate chip waffles, okay?”

“Best wife ever.”

***

In the morning, you spoil Satoru.

You’re in his lap, on his dick, and his mouth never leaves your tits.

It hurt when he first put his mouth on them, you’ll admit, but it’s not enough pain to overload your brain. It’s that addicting pain, like how good it feels to stretch out a sore muscle. If it was a bad day, you wouldn’t want to deal with the confliction. That’s how you know today will be a good one.

And why wouldn’t it be a good day?

It’s a full house. All your favorite people are here. Suguru is curled up in the guest bed, Nanako and Tsumiki on either side of him while Mimiko is sprawled out and drooling on his chest. Megumi is out on the couch. You only hope that you can convince them all to stay longer. It’s the weekend, so no school. You’re not above bribery.

You and Satoru slowly rock. His huge hands are on your ass, guiding your movements, doing more work than you are at lifting yourself up and down on his cock. The grip he’s got on your ass gets rougher as he gets closer to coming, so it spreads your cheeks apart. Gentle as it is, sweat still lines your skin and his, so he has to sometimes readjust his grip. That’s all to say that his fingers are getting close to your asshole. Just the memory has you quickening the pace.

“Want him here so bad,” you whine.

Satoru knows immediately who you mean. Talking about Suguru in bed isn’t new for you and Satoru. “Fuck, I know. He blew my back out yesterday. Hey, wanna hear a story?” He reaches down, thumbing at your clit. “Didn’t really jerk off until I got in high school. First fantasy? Fucking your sweet little pussy while he’s plowing my ass.” You bury your face in the crook of his neck, biting down to muffle your moan. “Yeah? You want that? One day, baby. Not now because no way I can be gentle when that’s going down.”

You pant against his neck. “We have to tell him.”

“We will,” Satoru swears. Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, and he swears. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Yeah, we’re gonna fucking tell him. We’re putting a ring on that bastard’s finger.” You nod along deliriously, chanting your agreement. “We’ll romance the fuck out of him. I swear that this kid is gonna have three parents—aw, fuck, ‘m coming!”

Satoru licks his come out of you before it has the chance to drip down your thighs. After he’s done, he flops behind you, and winds his spindly limbs with yours. You didn’t even realize how early it is until Satoru’s phone flashes in the pre-dawn light and flaunts the time. There’s a little time before you two have to roll out of bed. Chocolate chip waffles with strawberries and whipped cream actually sound really good right now. You’ll make Satoru help so that the food will be done when everyone wakes up.

“Were you serious about it?” You hum in question. Satoru goes on to elaborate. “Were you coming or were you agreeing with me about telling him before the baby is born?”

“Both,” you answer bluntly. He snorts in amusement. “I’ve been thinking about how we can confess.”

“No way! Me, too!”

“I don’t even want to imagine what your idea is.”

“Rude,” he bites your shoulder in rebuke. “We can take him on a date night. Serenade him with some fine dining. Finish the night in a nice hotel—”

“I will never do fine dining ever again, Gojo Satoru.” Just the memory of the plates rotating in and out of the table with so many varying, awful textures…you gag. Your teeth start to hurt. “I don’t know how you’ve put up with that for your entire life.”

Satoru laughs. “They bribed me with desserts to put up with it.”

What a stark reminder that you and Satoru are two sides of the same coin. Whether it’s your parents telling you to starve for the night if you refused to eat something because you hated the texture or his parents bribing him to force himself to grin and bear it, it’s all the same. Even after you were diagnosed, your parents still forced you to eat whatever they made because they refused to make two dinners. You had to learn to not let the discomfort and disgust show because they’d make the same thing again, over and over until you liked it.

Filled with a sudden and fierce protectiveness, you roll over and face Satoru head on. He raises a brow at your sudden change of mood. “Infinity doesn’t recognize me as a threat,” you remind him. “So, I want you to know that I could rip your balls off, no problem. If our baby doesn’t like a food or the way something feels, no one is going to force them to put up with it. End of story.”

Satoru blinks, processing your threat. Then, slowly, he looks down between your bodies. “Oh.” His cheeks are flushed when he raises his head back up. “I’m hard.”

Somehow, you’ve been banished to the couch while Suguru and Satoru take charge of breakfast.

“Mister and Mister Control Freak,” you mutter under your breath as you shuffle out of the kitchen.

The couch is big enough that you don’t even touch Megumi when you sit down on the other side. You silently play a game on your own 3DS, trying not to wake him prematurely, but he starts to stir not soon after the smell of waffles fills the air. You reason that the girls won’t be far behind.

It’s cute, watching Megumi slowly lift up, spiky hair even wilder, blinking blearily. He harrumphs, so put upon by the waking world. You expect him to crawl off the couch and rummage around in his overnight bag to find a book to read, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he scoots closer to you, almost touching you. His eyes droop and he starts slumping in your direction. Just before he presses against your side, he remembers himself.

Voice rough with sleep, he asks, “Can I?” It makes you gooey on the inside. Makes you want to give him shit, too. Because he can pretend to be the cool and stoic type all he wants, but he’s stupidly protective of his sister and he does sweet things like never forgetting to ask for permission to touch you.

“Yes,” you answer warmly. “Thank you for asking.”

Megumi grunts, slumps against you, puts his head on your shoulder, and yanks his blanket up over himself. You bump your cheek against his head affectionately. It’s not long of watching you game before he’s dozed off again.

Not long after, the girls emerge from the guest bedroom all at once.

Three sets of feet go running. You’re certain they’ll be lured to the kitchen by the aroma of breakfast, but they bypass it entirely, and sprint to where you are on the couch. Megumi is startled awake, and you cringe at the sound of three high-pitched voices calling out your name.

Your relationship with touch is…complicated. You’re starved for it, but you only want it from people you know. Even with them, you have to prepare for it. You try to reason with your brain that the girls are excited. They haven’t seen you in a little while. As most little girls are, they’re ecstatic about your pregnancy because they dream of when they can have that, too. But they dogpile you, crowding close, reaching their hands out to touch your baby bump. Nanako, in her excitement, even slips her hands under your shirt. Panic shoots through you and you jerk as if you’ve been electrocuted.

“Girls,” Suguru’s voice rises above the rest. You don’t look over your shoulder, but his disappointment is palpable. “What have we said about touching people?”

Suguru has only spoken with Nanako and Mimiko, but even Tsumiki knows the answer. In unison, they mutter, “Ask.” The sigh of relief you give when they back away makes you feel awful. “We’re sorry.”

“Dumbasses,” Megumi hisses at them all.

“Yo! Who taught you that word?” Satoru shouts from the kitchen. “Bad word!”

“You,” Megumi answers bluntly.

“Breakfast is ready,” Suguru announces.

Guilt and anxiety twist up your insides. For all your talk of not making your child do something, you worry about not being able to give them the things they’ll need. Babies don’t care about overstimulation. They’ll cry. When they’re older, they’ll crave this same kind of touch, and how horrible a mother would you be to deny them that? Parenting has no breaks. A child’s needs come before your own. Do you think you’ll be allowed to have days where you don’t talk? What if you’re in public with them and you have a breakdown?

“Squid.” Suguru is crouched down in front of you. “I see you spiraling.” He holds out a hand. “Come eat.”

“Not hungry,” you whisper. The anxiety has muted your hunger. “I want to go back to bed.”

“If Satoru dragged me out of my spiral, I have to do the same.” You scowl at him. How is that even fair? You weren’t the one to pull him out of his hole. “I’m being very nice right now. I won’t make you talk about it. I just need you to try and get a little something down. If it’s too loud in the kitchen, I’ll bring it out here.”

Right. Okay. You’ve dealt with being pushed to power through the overload for your entire life. If you want to be a good mother, then you’ll keep doing that. That’s what being a parent is, right? Sacrifice. If you can force yourself to do something so that your child never goes without, you’ll do that. It’s better to practice now.

With a shaky sigh, you take Suguru’s hand, and let him help you up to your feet.

***

Sunday night comes too soon.

When it’s only you and Satoru left in the penthouse, you start to scheme.

Try to, anyway.

The two of you are on the couch, hunched over Satoru’s laptop. You’re both hopeless when it comes to romance, so you think that the internet might be helpful. The two of you titter and fuss and argue over control of the laptop after the first search of ‘how to confess’ only brings up articles for high schoolers.

“Wait!” Satoru is dead serious when he declares, “We need to buy a house.”

Your eye twitches. “Satoru,” you start slowly as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “He hasn’t even said yes. We don’t know that he even will. Can we take this one step at a time, please?”

“Eh? We should start the process, though. We only have four months left and it feels like we have so much to do. On top of my assignments, my mother is on my ass about Inu no Hi. Oh, we’ve got the babymoon to schedule. And we have to go to parenting classes because it’s not like either of us are asking our parents for tips.” He brightens. “Oh! What about that? We’ll have him house hunt with us, and we’ll pop the question when we make our choice.”

If you think too hard about the list he rattled off, you will meltdown. Like you told him, one step at a time. Just ignore all the rest. “Pop the question? This isn’t marriage. We can’t be overbearing. He’s like me. He’ll hate grand gestures and a house is…big.”

“Why are you struggling so much with this? You were his best friend first. Hasn’t he dated before? What’d they do when they were trying to pick him up?”

“School in the sticks was awful for us. Everyone knew everyone. We were the weird kids who saw things that weren’t there and that stuck with us for the rest of our lives, even when we learned to hide it. So, yeah, he was hot by middle school, but no one was interested in the local freaks.”

Satoru flops back with a loud groan. “Could you guys have been any more pathetic?”

“Your sympathy astounds me, Satoru, truly,” you say dryly.

“I wish I’d had met you guys sooner,” he confesses after a moment of silence. “I was such a problem child, always throwing tantrums, so I think my parents would’ve thrown money at yours to let you guys live with me at the Gojo estate. I’d probably have a less shitty personality if I was around people who understood me.”

“That’s debatable.” He digs his toes into your ticklish side, and you swat his feet away with a squeal. “I think the worst parts of your personality come from the fact that you were super spoiled and raised to think you’re a god. I also think the good outweighs the bad, so don’t get self-conscious.”

“Me? Self-conscious? I don’t know the meaning of that, dear.” Satoru shifts his position and puts his head in your lap. It’s his favorite place, you swear. He’s on his back. As he’s looking you in the eye, he reaches up to touch your face. “Ever since I was a kid, I never thought that I could connect to someone the way I’ve done with you.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks. You do have to look away from the eye contact this time. “You liked Suguru way before you liked me, y’know.”

“No. It was definitely you first,” Satoru corrects. “Shoko clocked me crushing on you even before I realized it. You should’ve seen how protective Suguru was of you.” He gives an airy laugh. “That’s why I’m not worried about him saying no, Sketch. It’s you. How can someone not be head over heels for you?”

You burst out into tears.

Satoru rolls with it because you’re a ball of nervous, hormonal energy these days. If you cried easy before, it’s insane how fast it can happen now. “I love you!” You definitely shouted that. You’re also definitely sobbing loudly. It’s okay because it’s with him, in private. Then, you think about how he wouldn’t care if you were in public because Satoru is the same.

Is this what true love is supposed to be like?

Because Satoru has admitted that you’ve taught him so much about his true self, but he’s taught you to accept yourself. Satoru is so sure of himself, both cocky and authentic. He knows that he doesn’t understand things like social cues, and he could give a shit less when he misses them. He’s loud and brash, especially when he’s excited. He’s blunt and a lot of people don’t like that, but a lot do. Ijichi has admitted that it saved his life when Satoru told him to quit being a sorcerer. Students have thanked Satoru for the honesty because it pushed them harder, and they survived because of it.

“I love you!”

Satoru keeps laughing but lifts up to a sitting position. “Alright, alright. I got it.” He slips an arm around your shoulders, reeling you in close against his chest. Before you smush your face against his shirt, he kisses your forehead. “I love you, too.”

[selfloverrrrrr]

Fake marriage

Warning: Smut, unprotected Sex, rough sex, teasing, bdsm, nipple play, hair pulling, spanking....

This is our glorious blue eyed king's birthday special story ..... sorry for being late 😭🎀💖

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Gojo's POV

I was casually sitting on my bed and going through my phone when I got a call. From my mom? What does she wants talk about? I picked up the call. "Hmm?" I said. "Gojo...how are you doing, my son?" She asked. "Fine" I replied. "Well what about-" before she could complete the sentence I spoke "can you please tell me why you called me?" I asked.

"okay....so we're thinking about your marriage" she said. "Mom, seriously? Again?" I said with frustration. "Gojo shut up! You need to get married now! It's your age to get married!" She said. "I'm not getting married" I replied. "Yes you are.... we've seen some girls for you... you're going on dates with them and chose one of them" she said.

Why the fuck is she looking for girls!? I thought. Fuck I have to think about something. "I can't go on those stupid dates" I said. "And why not?" She asked. Fuck what should I say now? "Because...." Fuck fuck fuck.... think quickly think think think!!! "Because I-I'm.... I'm engaged!" I said. Then I realised... wait what did I said?

"what? Why didn't you tell me?" She asked. "Oh...hah...hehe...ummm it was a secret!" I replied. "Fine I'm cancelling all those dates then.... and you should come here tomorrow with her.... I can't wait to see my daughter in law. Your father will be so happy" she said. "Wait what?! Tomorrow?????? Why????!!!!" I almost screamed.

"I don't want to hear anything from you Gojo! You are coming here tomorrow that's it!" She said and ended the call. "Wait wait wait..... hello??????" Shit...... what am I supposed to do now? I lied to her. How the fuck am I supposed to show her my wife when I don't have a fucking wife! Goshhhhh I fell on the bed and screamed.

The door opened and I looked at the door. It was Shoko, haibara and Suguru. "Ahhhhhhhhh Suguruuuuuuuuuuuuuu" I whined. "What happened?" Suguru asked. "Yeah yeah why the fuck are you looking more ugly? You're already so ugly don't be more ugly" Shoko said. "Wym???? I'm the most handsome person in the world" I said looking at her.

"Satoru? Are you gonna fight with her or are you going to tell us why you were screaming?" Suguru asked. "Yes yes senpai.... I almost choked on my water when I heard your scream" haibara said. Then I told them everything. "Shit.... you're in a fucking trouble" all of them said.

Y/n's POV

I was looking for Geto and couldn't find him. Nanami told me that he was in Gojo's room. I entered the room. "Hey Geto, I was looking-... WOAH why are y'all so serious here?" I asked. "Nothing.... just Gojo is in trouble" Shoko said. "Why what happened? Serious problem?" I asked and went in front of them. "Yeah" Gojo and Geto replied together.

"what happened exactly?" I asked. Geto told me everything and Gojo was sitting with a sad face. "Ohhhhh....why did you say that anyways?" I asked. "I don't want to get married or go on stupid dates.... and that's the only thing that came to my mind" Gojo said. "Mmmm that's a serious situation actually " I said and they all nodded.

"actually you can hire someone with money and go with her. Like a fake marriage you know" I said. "Actually a good idea " haibara said. "Yes but where can I find someone this quick? And she has to be pretty according to my mom or else she won't except" Gojo said. Everyone nodded and looked down.

I also nodded and looked down. When I looked up again they all were staring at me with wide eyes. "Uhhh.... why.... exactly are y'all staring at me?" I asked curiously. They all smiled. I understood. "NO NO NO... I'M NOT DOING IT!" I declared. "Please!!!!!!!!!" Gojo said. "Nooooo.... I'm not doing it.... I can't!" I replied.

"whyyyyyyyyyyyy??????" Gojo asked. "Because your family is a higher ranked family of jujutsu society.... and I'm NOT gonna take this risk! Ask Shoko." I said. "I'd rather die!" Shoko said. "Ask Mei Mei " I said. "She's out on a Mission" Gojo said. "Ask Utahime" I said. "I said I want pretty" Gojo said. "You're lucky Satoru, she's not here" Geto said.

"I'm not pretty either!" I said. "Yes you are ~" Gojo said seductively with a smirk on his face. A blush came on my face. Why the fuck does he always flirts! "You two will look good tho" Geto said. I took a breath. "How much money?" I asked looking in the other direction. "$10000" Gojo replied. Still that smirk on his face. "$10000 and all the shoping I need for tomorrow" I said. "Yayyyyyyyyyy" Gojo screamed and jumped from the bed.

The next day

I was ready. wearing the dress Gojo bought me. It was a red velvet bodycon dress. With a soft pink furry scarf of the hand from the back. I did my makeup and hair. I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. Was I even looking good? Is Gojo gonna like it? Wait wait why I'm even thinking that? Why do I even care?!

I was talking to myself when the doorbell rang. "Y/n???" Gojo's voice came from other side of the door. "Coming!" I said and went to the door. Then opened it. I don't even know why I'm even feeling so nervous. Gojo just stood there and stared at me. Was I looking that bad? "Ummm.... let's go" I said then he stopped starting. "O-oh.... yeah...hm let's go" he said.

I locked my door and went with him. "You're looking..... gorgeous" he said. Almost whispered. "Thanks....." I replied and tried to hide my blush. "You're looking handsome" I said. "Hehehee thank you... I am" he replied. I looked at him like 😑. "Don't need to walk" he said and teleported us in his car.

Before he starts the looked at me. "Oh I almost forgot.... this" he said and pulled out something from your pocket. It was a ring. "What is this?" I asked. "Forgot? I told my mom that we're engaged" he replied. "Ohhh.... yeah. This is so pretty by the way" I said and wore the ring. "It's diamond" he replied casually.

"WHATTTTTTTTTTT???????" I screamed. "My Gosh why are you screaming?????" He asked. "Tf do you mean why am I screaming? You bought a fucking diamond ring?! Why? You should have just bought a fake ring!!!" I replied. And he just sighed and rolled his eyes?! Then started driving. This guy gotta be kidding me!

After sometime we reached his house. That huge pentha house is his? I know he's rich. But that rich???? He took my hand. "Let's go" he said. "Yeah... okay" I said. "Don't feel nervous I'll be there with you" he said. I nodded. Then we both went inside. And his mom was there. I bowed to her. "Nice to meet you, aun- mom" I said.

"nice to meet you too! Gosh you're so pretty. Gojo has a great choice" she said and hugged me. I hugged her back. Gojo told me with signs to call him Satoru. "Satoru's a nice guy" I said. "No... he's very bad mannered guy. If he ever treats you bad just beat him as much as you want, you have my permission" she said and we both laughed.

The dinner went well. His father also talked with me I handle as much as I can. After the dinner Gojo's mom took me and Gojo to show which one is Gojo's well for now our bedroom. "Y/n, this is your room too from now. And you should come more often" she said. "Yes sure" I replied.

"so you two planning on something?" She asked. I was confused then I replied "oh yeah.... we're planning on starting a family! Right, Satoru?" I said and looked at him. But I don't know why he looks so pale suddenly. Why is he looking like as if he just survived a thunder crash? "Oh really? .... like from now?" Gojo's mom asked so happily.

Aww she looks so happy I should say yes. I thought. "Yes" I said. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" Gojo whispered. I was so confused why he was acting like that, we're lying here of course. His expression looks like he's telling me why did I said that. "Gojo go. You know the rules you'll come sometime later" his mom said. "Mom, we ca-" before he complete the sentence his mom spoke "I said go!" She said and Gojo listened.

He went away from there. I really don't understand why was he acting like that? This will make his mom believe more that we're engaged, right? And oh god it didn't took me much time to process why he was acting like that. There I was in his fucking bedroom wearing a LINGERIE?????

So basically in the Gojo clan they have a rule that if a couple in their family decides to start a family the wife has to wear all seductive clothes before the husband comes in the bedroom! Why the hell Gojo didn't tell this to me???? I was alone in the room wearing a fucking blue see-through lingerie and there will be Gojo in any moment!

Fuck fuck fuck why did I even said that!!!! I cursed myself. With a sudden thud Gojo entered. Someone threw him inside. He was now changed in night clothes. "You don't have to be always so rude with me, mom!" He screamed and the door closed. "Anyways" he said and turned around. I tried to hide my body but was that even possible? Was there any difference between being naked and wearing this lingerie?!

Gojo's POV

I turned around and froze. Fuck. I knew this was coming. I looked away. Fuck fuck fuck don't think about it don't think about it! "Why does your family have stupid rules?!" Y/n asked. "I don't know.....my whole family is fucking stupid" I replied and threw myself on the bed. My face pressed on the mattress. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked.

"how was I supposed to know you were going to say that?" I replied. "Still you should have told me by any telepathy or something!" she argued. "How the fuck am I supposed to telepathy?! I'm not a fucking God!" I replied and sat up. "Aren't you THE STRONGEST?! you have so many powers!" She said mockingly. I grabbed her hand and pulled her under me on the mattress.

"oh really??? You wanna know what kind of power I do have and why am I the strongest?!" I asked looking at her. Her body was pressed against mine. She was shocked. I know she can feel my boner but who cares now? "You're a stup-" before she could complete the sentence I kissed her. And she kissed back? Fuck who cares now... I deepen the kiss.

Y/n's POV

I don't know what happened but I kissed him back. If he did it first who am I to control my feelings. He was kissing me as if his life depends on it. After a long moment he let go of the kiss. I was breathing so heavily. He sucked the breath out of me. A string of saliva connecting our tongues.

He looked down at me. "Why the fuck is this lace is between us!" He said with grinded teeth and grabbed my bra and tore it off. He crashed his lips on mine."f-fuck w-wait" I moaned. But does the strongest look like he'll stop? I grabbed his shirt and unbuttoned his shirt. He took it off and threw it on the floor.

My chest and neck were full of hickeys. He looked at my boobs full of lust in his eyes. His eyes shined in the light of the room. He didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensation. My toes curled up, my eyes rolled back. How much he's good with tongue.

Then he tore off my pantie. "This shouldn't be here either" he said. Then He looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " so wet. You naughty little slut, getting wet for me huh? For your HUSBAND?" He said and I blushed so hard at his words. He smirked and licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction and undo his pants.

His dick sprang out. It was too big and too thick. "Look... this is what you have done to me..." he said while stroking his dick. Why is he so huge? The veins on it were turning me on more.

He lined himself with my pussy. He looked at me for permission. I nodded. "Oh?" He said with a smirk. Why is He making me embarrassed!!!! He slowly pushed himself in. I grabbed on his shoulder taking deep breath. He give me some time to adjust it. Then he slowly started thrusting in and out. He started increasing the speed. I was a moaning mess. He was so huge. His dick was touching my deepest parts. His speed became faster and harder. I dig my nails on his back. My pussy clenched around him tightly.

He flipped me. Now I was lying on my stomach. He reached for my ass and spanked me harshly. He pushed his whole length inside me again. I moaned out loudly. In this position he was going much more deeper. "Oh you like that? You know what...moan more loudly so all the maids can hear you" he whispered in my ear and started thrusting at an animalistic speed. I screamed loudly. The room was full with skin slapping sound and moans.

He trusted in and out roughly. I was moaning his name repeatedly. After a few minutes I came. My walls clenched around him tightly. " G-god... You're so tight... F-Fuck.... I'd die for this pussy" He moaned and with that he came inside me.

He pulled out and laid beside me. "Fuck.... I'm sorry... gonna buy you pills tomorrow" he said. I nodded. "I'm sorry too....you should.... Use the reverse curse technique for those hickeys and scratches" I said. He smirked. "Do you think I'm gonna do that after being after being able to fuck my crush?... I'm gonna show-off these to Suguru tomorrow" he said with a smirk and winked at me.

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[roosterforme]

A depraved Bradley story you say? Think we can get a little bit of a preview 👀

Just a tiny sample on a tiny spoon.

Two Scoops (Rooster x Reader)

Bradley knew you too well by this point. He knew the sound of your heavy breathing after he warned you that you were getting loud. He knew the supple feel of your inner thigh against his fingers as he fucked you in the back of his Bronco. He knew that every inch of your skin tasted so much sweeter than any flavor of ice cream, and he loved licking you from his lips. But his friends didn't know that he knew any of those things, and he needed to keep it that way. Because he absolutely shouldn't be privy to any of it.

"Hello, sir. What can I get for you?"

There was an innocent smile on your face, and you were looking directly at Bradley even though he wasn't alone. Nat, Jake and Javy started to peruse the flavors in the freezer case while Bradley took in the sight of your body in that stupid shirt you had to wear. The double-o in the word SCOOPS was printed right across your tits, and it was almost impossible to look anywhere else. He wondered if you were even wearing a bra today. You weren't last night.

He made sure his friends were distracted by the rocky road at the far end of the case, and he leaned on the counter and cleared his throat softly. "Sir? Yeah, I'm going to need you to keep calling me that. And you already know what I want."

"Oops," you told him with a cute little pout. "We only serve that after we close for the night." 

Your words went right to his cock, just like you intended. When Nat shuffled closer, he cleared his throat again and said, "Uhhh... so what do you recommend?"

He inhaled the smell of hot fudge and strawberries while your pout turned into a little grin. If he was blushing right now, he knew he would hear about it later. You studied his face slowly, and not for the first time, he wondered if you were about to out whatever this was to his friends. But you simply pushed away from the counter and said, "I always find two scoops are better than one. And you're a big guy, so I bet you'll keep coming back for more."

Bradley nodded and kept his eyes on yours. "Two scoops then. And which flavor would you suggest I try?"

"Hmm... well you don't seem much like a vanilla guy, but the peach is very good." You turned your back to him and strutted along to get a tiny spoon from the massive jar on the counter, letting him get a good look at your rear end. "I could give you a sample," you told him, turning to look over your shoulder. "A small taste?"

Bradley was contemplating hopping over the counter to get to you when Nat asked, "Could I actually try a sample of the Cookie Monster?" 

You licked your lips before tearing your eyes away from Bradley, and you headed for the freezer case with one of the little spoons. "Of course. That's one of my favorites."