#uh oh I’m not sure how exactly to tag this eep

[scottie-draws-sometimes]

I’ve been wanting to challenge myself with this kind of designing for a while, and finally put my ideas down on paper!!

That’s right!! Human character designs for Wall-E and Eve. And they’re gay. Because of course

[ahwait-no-yes]

🍬 Candy Kingdom 🍭

Woo another chapter!! Trying to make them longer,,

-5-

As fun as talking to people was, it was very exhausting. Once they all went their separate ways, Saihara felt fatigue settle in. Though, he was pretty happy about the fact that he didn’t make a complete fool of himself, so that was good.

“Saihara chan looks like someone just pissed in his food,” He pointed out, grinning at him. Shuichi was quiet for a moment before replying, “I’m just a bit tired I guess,” He had gotten used to Kokichi’s antics after a few days, quietly laughing when he said that.

“Ahh, that’s to be expected with you! Saihara chan looks like the kind of person that would die if he had to talk to strangers for a whole day!” He happily chirped, smiling at Shuichi as if he just complimented him. “I can’t say you’re wrong,” He murmured, covering his mouth as a light blush spread across his face. Kokichi snickered, grinning up at the other boy.

“Did you know I’m never wrong? I can see the future so it’s impossible!” He said, lifting his finger to his mouth. Shuichi decided to amuse him, a soft smile on his lips. “Is that so?” He asked, slightly tilting his head. Ouma’s grin grew as he threw his hands behind his head. “Yep!”

“So, since you can see the future, what are we going to do today?” Saihara asked, smiling at him. Kokichi brought his hand to his chin, something he caught Saihara doing a few times. Ouma hummed for a moment before grinning. “We’re gonna find a bunch of cats!”

Before Shuichi could say anything, Ouma continued talking, “We could like, start an army to overthrow the kingdom!” He exclaimed, a mischievous expression on his face. “Why would you even do that?-” He asked, hoping his voice sounded confused and not nervous.

“Because they’re total ass hats, I’m surprised no one noticed yet,” He replied, his voice monotone. “But I guess not everyone can be as smart as me!” He bounced back almost immediately, a bright smile on his face again. 

Shuichi stared at him for a moment. He then remembered he never told him that he was the queen’s son. He realized now probably wouldn’t be a very good time to tell him about it. He slightly laughed, averting his eyes. “I guess so,” He murmured, not exactly sure how to respond without coming off as rude.

“Told you!” He suddenly exclaimed, grabbing Saihara by his shoulders and turning him to face towards a small group of cats. “Did you know there would be cats here?” He asked, glancing at the other boy. “Maybe! Or I can actually see the future!” He chirped, letting go of him.

Saihara chuckled, a soft smile on his face. He carefully approached a cat, letting it sniff his finger tips. Ouma leaned forward, pulling out a napkin that had some leftover food from earlier. “That’s why you kept it?” Saihara asked, turning towards him. “Maybe. I could just be having the cats poison it.”

“How does that work?” He asked, absentmindedly petting one of the cats. “Well, because these cats are poisonous, if you eat food that was contaminated by them you’ll die!” He replied, grinning at him. Shuichi hummed, trying not to smile.

“Does Saihara chan think I’m lying?” He said, dramatically placing a hand on his heart. “Truly, I’m wounded!” Shuichi burst into muffled giggles, his hand covering his mouth. “Hey! Stop laughing!” He complained, slightly pouting. 

“Sorry, sorry!” His voice was muffled, though he was clearly amused. Kokichi quietly giggled, a grin on his face. He reached out to pet one of the cats, letting it nuzzle against his hand. “Do you like cats?” Kokichi asked, glancing at the taller boy.

Shuichi hummed for a moment, a content smile on his face. “Yeah, I’ve always wanted one,” He commented, continuing to pet one of them. “Why didn’t you just get one then? There’s ton of them here!” He chirped, grinning at him. That was until one of the smaller ones jumped onto his back, causing him to wince.

Saihara was going to ask if he was alright, but he started giggling and letting the kitten crawl onto his head. Shuichi started laughing with him, watching the kitten pawing at the strands of his hair that stuck out. (He still didn’t know how that worked exactly, he reminded himself to ask him at some point.)

Kokichi picked the kitten up, giving it to Saihara. “Here, hold them!” He exclaimed, letting the kitten sniff his face. “Okay okay,” He chuckled, gently holding the kitten. “Do you have names for them?” Shuichi asked, looking at the other boy. Kokichi shook his head, petting the cat in the other boy’s arms.

“Do you wanna name him?” He asked, tilting his head. “Can I?” Saihara replied, obviously excited. “I guess. You’re lucky, as a supreme leader I don’t usually make exceptions!” Kokichi chirped, going from kind to haughty in less then a second. 

“Mm, what about Oliver?” He asked, turning towards him. Kokichi grinned, nodding. “Nishishi, sure!” Oliver purred, rubbing his cheek against Saihara’s face. “He’s doing that to mark his scent,” Kokichi pointed out, petting the cat’s head. “Really? Why?” Saihara asked, tilting his head.

“They do that so other cats know that you’re their person!” He pointed out, quietly giggling. “That’s why they do it? I thought they did because they liked us,” He muttered, chuckling. “Nope! They do it so other cats won’t get all buddy buddy with you.”

“My parents never let me have any pets, they said I wouldn’t take good care of it and someone else would have to,” He explained, tapping his finger against his cheek. “Who else would take care of it?” He asked, his face completely blank. “Just-” Saihara paused. He remembered what Ouma bad said earlier about the kingdom, and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Just some other family members,” He lied, looking away from him. Kokichi was quiet for a moment, staring at him. His face was completely blank, his eyes scanning over Saihara’s face. “So Saihara chan lives with a lot of his family?” He asked, a playful grin on his face. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Can I come over? I’d love to definitely not pull any pranks on anyone! That’s not a lie, I promise!” He smiled innocently at Saihara, looking up at him and batting his eyes. “I don’t know, we live pretty far away,” He murmured, letting the kitten go. “Really? What’re you doing here then?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“I got lost,” He stated, looking at him. “Really? You must’ve been wondering for a while, huh?” Kokichi stared at his nails, presumably bored. “Yeah, I was,” He started fidgeting, knowing Ouma could probably tell he was lying. He’d have to tell him eventually, but he was worried that they would get in a fight and wouldn’t be friends anymore, and Saihara would never see him again.

After a few moments, Kokichi grinned and abruptly speaking up. “Well! Why don’t we play a game, Saihara chan?” He asked, staring at him. Shuichi was still cautious, not wanting to let anything slip and be found out. “What kind of game?” He murmured, standing up as well. “What about… Tag!” He chirped, his eyes sparkling. “Wouldn’t it be boring with just two people?" 

Kokichi pouted, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "Is Saihara chan suggesting I’m boring?!” He exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Saihara. “I’m not!” He stated, taking a step back. “How mean! I’ve been nothing but nice to Saihara chan and this is how he treats me!” Tears were flowing out of eyes, hiccuping every now and then. 

“Ouma kun, please don’t cry!” He pleaded, worry all over his face. Ouma promptly ignored him, continuing to wail on about how Saihara was such a bully. “You’re so mean! Saihara chan’s so mean to me!” He exclaimed, gently hitting the others arm. Shuichi gently grabbed his hand, causing his tears to practically evaporate.

“Ouma kun, please calm down,” He murmured, trying to maintain eye contact. Kokichi stared at him for a few moments, a light blush dusted across his face. “Fine, Stupidhara,” He pouted, flicking Saihara’s forehead. “Hey!” Shuichi rubbed his forehead, trying to suppress his smile. Kokichi just giggled, poking his arm.

—

“He’s been missing for a few days. Where could he possibly be?” Asuka frowned, turning to her husband. “I don’t know. I suggested letting everyone know, it’d help us find him quicker,” Hitoshi sighed, rubbing his temple. She rolled her eyes and continued to braid her hair. “That insolent child. When he gets back we’ll need to have someone with him at all times.” She glared at her husband, her hands trembling from barely masked anger. “This is all your fault. If you never-”

He glared back, raising his hand. She reluctantly quieted down, continuing to scowl at him. Just then, a girl with long blue hair entered. The two straightened up, Asuka let her hands fall to her lap. “Very sorry to,” She paused, gasping for breath. It seemed she had ran here, sweat was beaded on her forehead and she looked tired. “To, interrupt you too, I don’t know why they sent me, I’m simply too plain to-”

“State your business,” Asuka nonchalantly said, her voice monotone. She made sure to have a serene expression on her face, masking her irritation from earlier. “Eep! Sorry!” The girl flinched, smoothing her long dress before clearing her throat. “Um- someone says that they may have seen the prince entering the forest a few days ago. Th-they were taken in for uh, further questioning. I’m afraid that’s all I know.”

“I see, thank you for this information–” Asuka paused, her eyes scanning over the nervous girl’s face. “What is your name?” She yelped, a light blush spreading across her face. “M-My name?” She was quiet for a moment before saying, “Oh! Um, Shirogane. My name is Shirogane,” The girl, Shirogane, bowed. Asuka stared at her for a moment before waving her hand, dismissing her. She scrambled out, continuing to smooth out her skirt.

Once she was out, she sighed, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. “So, that Saihara kid is missing, huh?” She felt herself smile, quietly giggling under her breath.

“What an interesting turn of events.”

--

4 | 5 | 6

Read it on AO3!

[lady-charinette]

Aged up marichat where chat is being a little fart and marinette puts him into his place sassily. Angst in the beginning then shifting to fluff. But chat is justified in being stupid like he's not being whiny lol just a couple's quarrel LOL (since theyre in their 20s possoble mention at them having future kids and them being blushy bc they didnt do the shame shame bc theyre waiting for marriage XD) Lyyy scar

Heh, you're welcome @ravensink ! Don't forget to drop by more amazing requests! ;) 😏😈 Also: @miraculous-elcie-fanfics since you mentioned wanting to be tagged in my ML stories :3

"Oh? The princess isn't resting in her lavish castle with a maid massaging her feet?" the teasing voice cut through the peaceful silence and Marinette hung her head, already knowing who it was.

They've been at this for a while now.

Four years, to be exact.

She didn't turn her head to look at him, but acknowledged his presence when he jumped down from her chimney to land perfectly balanced on her balcony railing next to her.

It still amazed her how, even after he'd underwent growthspurt after growthspurt during puberty, with only her head reaching the very top of his shoulders now, he still managed to perfectly balance his large frame on the thin metal railing.

Marinette smirked at his banter. "The princess was waiting for her loyal servant to finally arrive and massage her feet for her. I must say you're quite tedious, loyal servant." the smug grin on her lips made the young man chuckle, shaking his head in amusement.

A fair eyebrow rose in question, mirth shining in those green eyes of his that had captivated her more than once, not that she would ever say that out loud. "Apawlogies princess, my services have been lacking."

The young woman laughed, the smile reaching her eyes when she glanced at him briefly. "Careful kitty, I just may be on the lookout for another tomcat." She winked and Chat had to admit it did funny things to his stomach, had since they'd become good friends.

More than that.

Comfortable silence settled between them, until Chat Noir spoke again, his voice dropping a bit deeper, more serious. "Marinette."

The use of her name made her finally turn her head, the bandage on her cheek catching the cat's eye instantly. "What?"

He sighed, swinging his legs over so that they hovered over the floor of her balcony and no longer in open air. "You should've called for me sooner."

She gingerly touched his shoulder, her smile warmer than the inviting blankets in her room. "I'm fine kitty, Ladybug saved me."

He scoffed, messy blond hair falling into his eyes. "She may always save you, but there will be a time where she can't."

Marinette sighed, knowing those words were very true, especially since she was Ladybug.

Not that her partner would know anything about it.

"Maybe...maybe there will be a time where I can't..." the solemn expression on his face and in his voice made her blood boil and Marinette leaned forward.

"Huh? Princess, wha- MEOWCH!" Chat Noir sprung back quickly, back slamming against the side of the wall as he cowered away from the lethal substance. "Hey! Cut it out! I thought we talked about this little lady!"

He hissed at the offending object held securely in her hand, a disapproving glare on her face. "Don't you 'lady' me, kitty! And I thought we said you would stop trying to protect me all the time! I'm a big girl Chat, I can protect myself!"

The woman with the hell spawned spray bottle in her hands crossed her arms and the feline hero deemed it safe enough to come closer when the deadly bottle wasn't directed at his general direction anymore.

"You can't protect yourself against akumas!" Chat Noir straightened to his full height, now a whole head taller than the angry dark-haired woman.

Marinette growled in frustration. "I did and I will! Ladybug and you may have super suits but I have enough brains to think my way out of a situation." the proud smile on her lips was there for a second, until her secret partner was on her again.

Chat Noir growled, a far more guttural and feline-esque sound than what Marinette made. "Don't be stupid! What if you get into a situation where brains can't help you?! What if you're trapped somewhere, kidnapped by an akuma or not even on land and far away? What then? Still think your creative mind can save you?"

Not willing to back down, no matter how pity their argument seemed, Marinette stood her ground. She knew Chat Noir had now way of knowing she was Ladybug, so technically she had the brains and the super suit. "I will think of something!"

Now it was his turn to cross his arms, much bigger than hers, from all the years of fighting against akumas and criminals and he leveled her with a deadpan look. "Evillustrator?"

Marinette gaped, surprised that was the first thing that sprung to his mind. "You were with me! Nathaniel was harmless! We'd been kids Chat Noir!"

He frowned. "Glaciator?"

She coughed, looking away. "Kids! Err...I was on a roof and distracted by all the candles you set up!"

His expression softened at the memory, but quickly hardened with his next inquiry. "Ignoblia?"

Marinette jaw dropped and she pointed an accusing finger at her friend. "Hey! She was a bit..too quick and...she was a superhero- villain!"

"Exactly! Proves my point purrfectly!" He smirked at the look of despair on her face, until Marinette turned her back to him and huffed.

"I see kitty is having a hissy fit!"

He didn't want to, but the jab still got him. That little minx. "How can I not when you constantly dive headfirst into danger?! Do you think I dont check every alley and every corner if I dont know you're home when an akuma strikes? I can't believe you can't see reason!" he ran his claws through his messy hair, messing it up even further.

The designer stomped her foot. "I can't believe you can't see reason Chat! Why do you even check every alley? I'll find shelter somewhere!" she rolled her eyes, irritation seeping from her every pore.

The brief pause that followed made Marinette turn her head and when she looked back at the suspiciously quiet cat, her eyes flew open.

His face was set into a deep scowl, protective rage shining brightly in the green eyes and when he took a large step towards her, Marinette nearly stumbled from his imposing presence. His voice was heavy with emotion but didn't lose its bite from before. "I just want you to be safe!"

She stared up at him, her hands raised and just shy of touching him directly, bluebell eyes blinking slowly.

Chat Noir's face was still set in that intense glare, chest heaving from his outburst, until a hand settled gently on his cheek.

He blinked, all traces of anger gone and he instinctively leaned into her touch. "M-Marinette?"

His face looked so vulnerable, so open, green eyes glistening with emotions when her name left his lips in a whisper.

"I promise..." she took a breath, but smiled warmly up at him, the hand on his cheek caressing him softly. "...to try not to get into trouble as often. And I'll have you on speed dial, okay?"

The man sighed heavily, but nuzzled her hand, blond hair still falling slightly into his eyes. "You better not furget princess."

The teasing glint was back in his eyes and Marinette gently flicked his nose. "I won't you worrisome cat."

He shook his head, smiling down at her like a lovesick fool. "Kittens...."

Marinette rose an eyebrow curiously, giggling in amusement while she gently petted his cheek like a cat. "What?"

"Our kittens will be adorable with your looks princess..." the words leaving his lips were dreamy and mumbled, the same soft look in his eyes.

Then, as if awakening from his trance, Chat Noir sprung away from the blushing woman. "N-No, w-wait! It's not- I didn't- I mean I did, but- NO WAIT!"

He covered his mouth with his hand, face an alarming scarlet, tail haphazardly moving on the floor, and Marinette swore if she'd taken a second glance, she'd seen for sure his tail was formed into a heart.

Marinette's entire face was a tomato red, her mind racing with mental images.

Of Chat Noir

And her.

And their children.

Dressed in little black cat ears and wearing ladybug themed masks.

"Eep!" the undignified sound made Chat Noir jump and it took Marinette a split second to realize it hadn't been her that made that sound but him.

Chat Noir covered his face, before he desperately tried to talk over his rapidly pounding heart. "W-Wait, it's not what it sounds like! I was- I was talking about kittens, from- from the streets and- and! Um, adopting them!" he looked everywhere but at her but Marinette couldnt bring herself to look away from him, transformed into a blushing, stuttering mess.

"Y-Yes! Pff-preciously! I-I mean precisely! Kittens! From the streets! To uh, to adopt! Not like a family or anything or uh - just uh, individually! As-as friends! Platonic! Completely platonic! I mean, of course, if you want- not I'm not forcing you, never, I mean you're my princess and lady, I could never force you, no way! No, I-"

A finger suddenly planted itself on his lips and Chat Noir's eyes flew wide open at the action, pupils zeroing in on Marinette.

A very red faced Marinette, who had a determined look on her face, stared up at him just as she stared down their enemies when in her super suit as Ladybug. "I...I think kittens would....would be fine."

Both older teens stared at each-other in petrified silence, until Marinette spoke again, the pink shade on her face growing darker. "B-But our own k-kittens...w-with Ladybug masks and cat ears...I-in a n-non-platonic way..."

Silence.

Ice settled in her stomach and Marinette's mind worked into overdrive to try and come up with a believable excuse.

Maybe it had been a joke! Of course! Chat Noir was known to make jokes!

Marinette froze when she was pushed into a solid warmth, surrounded by equally solid, warm arms around her back and one cradling the back of her head tenderly.

She could feel Chat's frantic heartbeat slowly settle down the longer they were locked in their embrace and before Marinette could form a sentence, Chat already spoke.

His voice was so quiet, she strained to hear it properly. "You know princess, I think I prefer them wearing their mama's suit more, but whatever you say m'lady."

Marinette's heart skipped a beat and she buried her face against his chest, shoulders shaking from laughter.

That dork.

Of course he knew.

But she had a little secret of her own, one she won't reveal just yet.

She smiled, her own arms wrapping around him tightly.

He purred in response.

Marinette's smile widened. "Only if they wear their papa's brand from time to time."

Chat's heart picked up in speed again and Marinette laughed.

[sunnomnoms]

[originally requested by @teerama ]

[sorry to tag you again, I transferred blogs right quick! I hope you don’t mind!]

Yes you may! I hope you enjoy this! :)

Shoto Todoroki

Todoroki had found you on his way down to the common room in the middle of the night. He had no particular reason to go, but it was late and he had woken up and couldn’t fall back asleep. Considering the dorms had elevators, not many people took the stairs, but he liked to take them from time to time to avoid social interaction sometimes. Not that he minded his dorm/class mates, there were just times he wasn’t up for chatting. This night in particular, he was feeling restless anyway, so he took the walk down the stairs to just have more time to think as he walked.

As Todoroki continued down the stairs, he heard what sounded like… music? He stopped for a second to listen. What he heard was muffled music coming from what sounded like headphones. Was someone in the stairwell?

He continued walking, to find a figure sitting on one of the steps, their head in their arms. The figure looked frustrated, they leg bouncing slightly and their foot tapping. Todoroki took it upon himself to approach the figure. Because you had your headphones in, you couldn’t hear the sound of Todoroki’s cautious steps behind you. You felt a hand touch your shoulder.

you let out a small shriek, jumping up and nearly tumbling down the stairs as you did. Your reaction caused Todoroki to let out a small yelp as well, stumbling back a little. The two of you stared at each other for a second, before Todoroki had spoken up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. You sighed a sigh of relief, it was just a classmate, not a stairwell ghost.

“It’s fine.” You said, offering him a small, half hearted smile.

“What are you doing in the stairwell at this time?” He had asked you, taking a few more steps towards you. He watched your smile drop, as a look of shame fell on your face.

“I… I couldn’t sleep. In training today, I got completely knocked out cold. If I wouldn’t have tried to push Denki out of the way of Kirishima’s attack, I wouldn’t have gotten hit. If I would have been awake, I could have helped our team win. But… I was just on the ground and unconscious for most of the time. It’s… pathetic really.” You admitted. You hung your head a little, your feeling of shame returning to your body.

“Kirishima hit you hard enough to knock you out? Are you okay?” Todoroki had asked. You pointed to the bandage wrapped around your head.

“Minor concussion. I haven’t heard Kirishima say anything to me besides apologies. You know how the guy is, haha..” You joked lightly.

Todoroki gave a small chuckle, much to your surprise. He sat down on the steps, and patted the spot next to him. You walked up a few steps, and seated yourself next to him. You looked at him confused. What did he want?

“You do realize it’s not just your job to keep your teammates in check, right? They should have done their absolute best to succeed as well.” He spoke softly. You cocked your head slightly.

“Well, what do you mean?” You questioned.

“You didn’t fail them. You were heroic enough to save one of them from their own stupidity. If anyone has failed another, they had failed you.”

The words were soothing in a sense, but also cold. Sure, you didn’t want to put the blame on them for what happened but… at the same time, Todoroki had a point. Denki should have taken measures to get himself out of the way instead of standing like a deer in headlights. Guilt was still heavy in your chest, but… maybe a little less heavy now.

“I… thank you, Todoroki. I um.. I really needed to hear that.” You said softly. Todoroki shook his head.

“You don’t need to thank me for telling you the truth.”

There was a silence between you two for a second.

“Would you like to go back to my dorm? I’m sure it’s much more comfortable than a stairwell.” Todoroki offered, as he stood up. You felt your face heat up.

“W-what? I don’t wanna disturb you trying to sleep or whatever-”

“I couldn’t sleep anyway, and as you said, you can’t either. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I figured you didn’t want to be alone right now.”

You looked up at him, your faces burning at the idea of being in Todoroki’s room at such an hour. If Aizawa caught you two even outside of your dorms he would be pissed, but in his dorm? Alone? Just the two of you? At this hour? It wasn’t hard to see what could go wrong.

But you decided to live a little, and took him up on his offer. The two of you ended up staying up to around 4 am, talking about random things and watching movies. You had fallen asleep in his bed while Todoroki occupied himself with other things. When he took notice to your sleeping form, he figured it’d be best if he slept as well, considering the time. He crawled under the covers next to you, and the two of you slept peacefully.

And that’s the story of how everyone thought you two were dating, as Mina had busted open Todoroki’s door wondering why he was sleeping in so late only to find the two of you in bed together.

-

Katsuki Bakugo

Bakugo couldn’t sleep that night and was headed down to the kitchen area when he found you. He wasn’t one to stay up late, but tonight just felt weird for some reason. He couldn’t shake the feeling, and his body just seemed to refuse the idea of sleeping. Frustrated, he figured he’d kill time by maybe making a late night snack or something. Not wanting to make too much sound, he headed down the steps instead of the elevator.

He heard the sounds of sniffles and immediately stopped. They continued, on, seemingly unaware of his presence.

“Hello?” He called. He heard a small ‘eep!’ In response. Bakugo turned the corner of the stairwell to find you, curled up on one of the steps. You had tears in your eyes and looked at him with a bit of fear in your features. A heavy silence hung over the two of you for a few seconds.

“Are you… okay?” You jolted at the sound of Bakugo’s voice. It was… softer, hushed even. You weren’t sure if you had ever seen this guy show sympathy before, was this really Bakugo? Or was the darkness in the stairwell playing tricks on your eyes?

“I-I’m- uh, I’m fine.” You muttered out, wiping a tear from your eye.

“No, you’re not.” Bakugo had said. He wasn’t wrong, that’s for sure. He knew he wasn’t wrong either. He let out a small huff.

“Come on, get up.” He said as he walked towards you, holding a hand out for you. You looked at his hand, and at his face, trying to see if there was any sort of joke here. He raised an eyebrow at your hesitation. You gently took his hand, and he helped you stand up. There was a second of him holding your hand a bit longer than what was probably expected, but you didn’t think much of it at the time.

“Come on.” Bakugo ordered, motioning him to follow you. You didn’t get it, what did he want? You had expected him to make some sort of snarky comment towards you showing weakness or something. But.. here you were. Following him up the stairs and back into the hallway.

“U-um… where are we…” You went to ask him just as he stopped at a door. Oh… it was his dorm. He motioned you inside, and you obliged.

“So, are you gonna tell me why you were crying in the stairwell?” Bakugo asks, still in a tone more polite than usual. It still had that underlying annoyed sound to it but… You think that might just be how his voice sounds. Oh wait, he asked a question, shoot.

“U-um, well… I’m just a little… upset over something, that’s all.” You stammer out. You knew how Bakugo was, and had seen how he perceived others showing weakness before. You didn’t exactly want to be a laughing stock for him. You gently sat down on the edge of his bed, your hands in your lap.

“Clearly so. I got that much.” He replied, sarcasm lacing his voice. “What is making you upset?”

You swallowed thickly. Well, hear goes nothing.

“I… well, today in training my team failed… and I kinda feel it might have been my fault. Sero had bound me up with tape before I could do much to turn the tables for my team. I was hoping during capture the flag I could go unnoticed as the other team tried to fight of the rest of my team, but… turns out I’m not as sneaky as I thought.”

You said, hanging your head a little as you twiddled your thumbs. You heard him let out a small scoff.

“Well, first of all, it was dumb of them to expect you to be the stealthy one. That’s not how your quirk works and I’m sure there were other people on your team more qualified for that.”

You froze for a second.

“What?”

“Second of all, they shouldn’t have sent you alone. If they actually took the training seriously they should have sent you with someone else to ensure you would be able to carry out the plan. From what it sounds like they only had Soy Sauce Face defending the flag. If they send you with someone else instead of expecting you to carry their asses to victory on your own, you guys probably wouldn’t have lost.”

You blinked, offering Bakugo a confused look. Why… was he giving you game strategies? He looked at you, rolling his eyes and sighing.

“In other words, they were idiots to expect you to do that on your own. It’s not your fault. You did what you could.” It was… a surprisingly sweet thing of him to say. You looked down at your lap again, a bit embarrassed by his reassurance. You didn’t think there’d be a day, or night, where Bakugo would lighten your mood, but… here you were.

“I.. thank you, Bakugou…” you said softly to him. He shook his head as he walked towards his bed, crawling into it.

“It’s whatever, I don’t care.” He said, trying to regain his cold tone again. It didn’t seem to work for you though, as you were already fully aware that he did care enough to ease your nerves.

“If you want to stay, I’ll listen to you talk about your feelings or whatever. If you want to go back to your room, I don’t care.” Bakugo had said, trying (and failing) to subtly hint that you could stay the night.

You took him up on his offer, and spent the night taking about random things, venting about things that upset you and having Bakugo back take your side on things you were angry about. you don’t exactly remember when you had fallen asleep, but you remembered the morning after. There was a knocking on his door, and a whine on the other side.

“Bakugooooo!! Wake up man!!! You said we’d hang out today and it’s already like noon!!!” Denki’s voice called. You froze in your place.

“Oh shut up! I’ll get up when I want to, go away!” Bakugo yelled back.

“But Bakugooooo!”

“Ugh, give me thirty minutes!”

“Okaaaaay!! Thirty minutes and counting!!!”

You two heard foot steps walk away from the door. You sighed a sigh of relief. Getting out of his bed, you shot him an apologetic look. But before you could apologize, he shook his head.

“I’ll talk to you later. Make sure he, or none of those other dumbasses see you. You won’t hear the end of it.” Bakugo said. You gave him a nod.

“Talk to you later then.” You said, as you snuck out of his room. This time, you were stealthy enough to not get caught.

[demytasse]

[Shinra & Shizuo] Inebriated Idiocy

     The situation required contemplation of certain moral ramifications, as brief as that consideration might last.

On one hand, alcohol was said to be the window to someone’s truest thoughts; bring about their most genuine feelings and unconscious desires. On the other hand, Shinra was an intellectual that keenly understood the human psyche; he knew better than to believe societal nonsense. In actuality, alcohol only lowered someone’s inhibitions enough to vocalise thoughts exactly as they formed; this included, but wasn’t exclusive to situational opinions, primal reactions to anything remotely sexual, and sober observations that hadn’t been sussed out.

So honestly, Shizuo letting himself into Shinra’s apartment with an odd request might have coincidentally been his own influence, the other day asking for blood and marrow samples in jest, yet again. Which the tease seemed to continue its bumble ‘round his friend’s absent mind.

    Not having much going on up there must explain why it’s still relevant.

His drunken stupour was no different than a conclusion from a simple dream; what was sorted alongside other curious tidbits gained while conscious, and that scientific proposal hadn’t been determined trash or data just yet, despite it being the same ol’ same old.

That being said…

    “What other opportunity would I have short of drugging him myself?” Shinra hummed; gathered vials and tools, bounced through his preparation. “Morally speaking it checks out if I didn’t administer the drug. After all, he came to me pre-doped! Haha." 

He glanced over at Shizuo who somehow managed a cool guy pose upon the examination table, simultaneously a blathering mess — slurring incomprehensible words and half-baked thoughts. All to which seemed on par with what Shinra normally mocked, so it assured that no bad karma, nor bad blood would arise.

    ”…it was the least I could do,“ Shizuo concluded what had been internal dialogue.

    Shinra focused on his assembly, "hmm~? I didn’t catch what you did." 

    "Drink.”

    “Then that wasn’t the least you could do, right? That would’ve been not drinking, since doing nothing is the less than something active.”

    Shizuo looked annoyed. “Meant I didn’t drink randomly, asshole. I did it ‘cause…” he spaced, pinched his nose. “…ugh, there’s a reason. Just…whatever.”

    “That’s fine, Shizuo. Your oldest friend doesn’t need an excuse for your impromptu visit. Especially since you’re granting me the honour of—”

    “Tom!” A heavy hand slammed on the table.

Shinra jumped — juggled a device, caught it by the tubular tail before it hit the floor.

    “E-ehh?” his pulse refused to steady.

    “Tom’s birthday. We went for drinks. 'Parently Vorona’s a heavyweight.”

    Shinra laughed, kind of embarrassed for his friend. “I don’t think that’s actually the term you’re going for…" 

    "She cheated.”

    “How so?”

    “She’s Russian.”

    “You’re honestly the type to play into stereotypes, Shizuo?”

    He groaned, “she shoved vodka on me. 'Don’t handle it well.”

    Of course, it’s some oddball connection, nothing offensive.

    “And she knew that?”

    “No.”

    “So it was more that you couldn’t handle the defeat!”

    The drunk grunted. “Ya wanna die?”

    Shinra waved in mercy, “no no! Let’s just move on!!”

     Though the more Shizuo spouted trash fragments, the more difficult it was for Shinra to sway his conscience that this was alright, as maybe the blood alcohol level was higher than he’d anticipated.

Every step of drawing blood was a joke to Shizuo. He laughed while his sleeve was rolled up, mocked the concentration Shinra wore while he struggled to stick the needle in; knocked the doctor’s glasses askew like a young brat that thought himself a slapstick comedian. 

    Unamused, Shinra adjusted his frames with a latex-free wrist. “Please stop.” 

    “I kinda felt bad. Told ‘im thirty was just a number,” he disrupted the blood-pull with a messy gesture.

    “Shizuo, why are you so animated?!”

    “He said he was twenty-seven! Whoops.” 

    “Yeah, you’re an idiot, we get it,” Shinra paused between a third attempt.     “Probably, haha.”

It was then that he noticed how flush his patient was; how boyish his crinkled features were, and how Shizuo’s jovial nature was too foreign to be anything but drunkenness. Blurredly he watched the other above half-mast lenses, but a thought with prescription clarity hit him in result of the study — the vision of a perturbed Celty demanding that her held out PDA be read.

    //It’s taking advantage of Shizuo!//     //!!! N-n-not in that way, p-pervert!//

It wasn’t actually Celty’s textual wisdom, but his own beratement spoken through her beautiful voice, that of course he’d long ago created for her in place of having none to speak with. It was a flurried dissuasion he wouldn’t follow without her image affixed, whether in physical or mental form.

Thus Shinra was defeated by his own imagination. 

    “Come on,” he sighed, “I’ll set you up on the couch for the night." 

    “Oh…uh, sure.”

Shizuo stumbled off the table and stabilised when a hand supported his back to send him along the path to the living room. As Shinra motioned his follow, he spotted a rolled bandage that he’d previously readied. 

His decade awaited experiment may have been a bust, but he had an idea that might give him a chuckle the next morning.

—

    The recovering drunk studied a cross at the crook of his elbow. It screamed at his memory bank in vibrant fuchsia; with consternation Shizuo recognised the bandage as he recalled swaths of highschool peers wore them after donating blood; an annual fashion accessory that Shizuo never got to sport — only ever able to bling the trash cans with broken needles.

That indicated only one thing in the present: he’d been pin-pricked by an advantageous prick, and he was hardly impressed with how Shinra tagged him without any recollection.

    "Oh! You’re up earlier than I thought you’d be,” the devil spoke at the doorway, audaciously donned his goofy grin, with a coffee mug in hand.

    “Shinra…” he growled, “wanna explain this?”

    “I’m curious to hear what you think it means! I wouldn’t be shocked if you’re either right or wrong.”

The silence grew stronger, Shizuo’s annoyance grew palpable, and for a split moment Shinra mused over the spontaneous prank.

    Perhaps I got tipsy off the atmosphere last night and made my own drunken regret…

Which he externalised as a solo ‘eep!’, a wild scramble upon slippery slipper footing; an aerial trail of coffee in his wake. 

To the carpet’s relief, the liquid was suspended mere inches above it, encapsulated in shadow. With luck, Celty formed it within a second’s notice as she was hastily passed by two scuttling idiots.

    “I’m innocent! Innocent, I swear!”

    “Like hell ya are!”

Celty puffed out air too exhausted for the early hours. 

    At least it’s spilt coffee and not blood spill.

—

    It took a few laps around the apartment for the duo to wind up on opposite couches in a truce. Celty, their moderator, sat close at Shinra’s side to prevent a young death.

    “You see, Shizuo, as you claimed you were in full control of your faculties, so I kindly decided to fulfill your request.” Shinra rubbed at a wallop injury at his crown. “which seemed a fair assumption since you weren’t acting any less intelligible than usual." 

He was forced to squint while Celty futzed with the bent plastic and metal of his glasses. 

    “Lucky you, I’m perceptive enough to notice little details which proved that you were, in fact, inebriated. I stopped before I collected any samples.”

Whether or not Shizuo’s grunt was an invitation for the rest of the schpeel, or if it was an indignant ‘fuck off’ made no difference.     “Feel free to leave a tip for my better judgement. I know it’s not customary for doctor visits, but I’m never too humble to decline monetary praise.”

A shadow placed glasses back on his nose, but he immediately let them slip back down when a glare across the table was in clear view. The hangover effect must of have worked mental lapses between Shizuo’s comprehension of insults, thus he remained in a slump with exhausted shadows below his cold eyes.

    "Yanno, that better be the treatment you give Celty, or so help me…”

    “A-ah, she can’t get inebriated in the first place, or drink for that matter—”

    “So you’d take advantage of her if she could??”

    “No, no! Never! If anything I want her to reveal her own desires to have me sweep her into fits of romance…” he darted his eyes from Shizuo’s disgust.

    ”…buuut I better let that topic be laid to rest.“

—

    "Honestly…I almost wish he’d just done it.”

    //Really?//

    Shizuo nodded in between takes of smoke, “maybe it’s about time I figure out what makes me…me. You know, so I can control myself better…or something.”

    //That’s a noble thing to do, Shizuo…//

He shook his head, wasted half of his cigarette when he extinguished it on the deck railing before he brushed ash into his hand.

    //Maybe do it when you’re sober, though. That way you can feel good about the decision to better yourself and not have it be a drunken decision you accept.//

    “You know,” he smiled, “I like that.”

It wasn’t odd that he agreed with Celty, it was that he wanted his abnormality to be experimented on by his dysfunctional friend; that he was finally ready to face the facts and learn how to work with his condition. Despite that realisation, it was best to ask Shinra with sobriety.

    “Might make him pony up the cash for my blood, though. It’s a hot commodity, right?”

Celty chuckled with a bob of her shoulders.

—

    “And that’s why I always trust my doctor’s instincts over Shizuo. In this case, causality didn’t result in my casualty and I can rest in peace standing six-feet above ground and not under it! Hmm…I should pay respects at the nearest shrine for good measure.

    “At anyrate, I’ll take advantage of the opportunity to showcase Celty’s handiwork of my repaired glasses, a token of her dedication and love for all to appreciate! Even if they’re imperfect, they’re perfect to me. So let’s think of this as a public service announcement, kids: don’t drink and make hasty decisions!”

—

AN: Shinra breaking the fourth wall is one of my favourite things; it’s delightful. (O´▽`o)~♡

Based on one of the headcanons I wrote for Shizuo in a character meme, except it’s a little goofier than when I wrote the HC. Probably because I made it primarily from Shinra’s perspective. \(=~=)/ Thank you, @monopsys for the inspiration to actually write this!

[cutepresea]

Memoria: Operation: Fish

If you want to blacklist these, you can use either the tag #xdu memoria scripts or #xdu scripts

Reminder  that these are copied straight  from XD Unlimited itself, so any grammatical weirdness, mistranslations,  and/or mischaracterizations are  not my doing.

In-game Summary: “Hibiki and Kirika go for a dip in the sea, but when they feed some of the fish, they get more than they bargained for.”

Hibiki Tachibana: "The weather's perfect for a nice dip in the ocean!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "This must be thanks to the good luck charms we made!"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Yes. I'm glad they did their job."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Ah, that explains all the charms I saw hanging around HQ. So it was you two who made them, then!"

Chris Yukine: "You're such children sometimes."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Hey, I see a buoy offshore! Let's have a race to see who can reach it first!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "You're on! Get ready to lose!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Shirabe, are you coming too? How about you guys?"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "I'll stick to swimming in the shallows."

Chris Yukine: "I'm pretty worn out, so I'll pass."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "I'll sit this one out as well."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Okay, then. We'll be right back!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Ready... Set... Go!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Don't swim out too far! They're not listening, as usual..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Woohoo! I win!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Pwaah! Aw, lost by a hand."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Oh hey, look! There's a bunch of fish around here!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Wow, there's so many of 'em..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Oh! I just had the best idea!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "What sort of idea?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Let's head back to shore for a minute."

Kirika Akatsuki: "What? But we justgot here..."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Why'd you get all those snacks out of your bag?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Have you never seen diving on TV, Kirika-chan? People give food to the fish as bait."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Oh, yeah, that rings a bell."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Fish will start swarming around a person who has food. I want to try it myself!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "That sounds super fun! I'm in!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "I told you it was a good idea! Here, Kirika-chan, you take some too. You ready?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Uh-huh!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Ahaha! Here they come!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "There are lots of pretty fish around here, huh?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "There really are. I don't even know the names of half of these guys."

Kirika Akatsuki: "It kinda tickles when they nibble at you."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Hey, have you heard of that fish therapy thing? It's where those little fish eat away your old, rough skin."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Oh, they're called doctor fish, right? Hey, maybe our skin will get nice and smooth, too!"'

Hibiki Tachibana: "Maybe. Two birds with one stone, I guess!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "That would make a good story. Um... Hibiki, are there more fish here than there were before?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Yeah, you're right. Do you think they're all hungry?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Eep! That tickles!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Shoot, I dropped the bag!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Gaaaah! There's a whole swarm of them coming!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "H-Hey, watch where you're nibbling!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Gyah! They're gonna pull my swimsuit off!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "It's no use! Hibiki-san, we gotta run for it!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Let's go!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Whew... That was a close one..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Sorry about that. I had no idea we'd wind up attracting so many fish."

Kirika Akatsuki: "It's okay. I don't think either of us could have seen that com--"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Hm? Are those birds heading our way?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Our bait is even attracting birds? But we're out of snacks!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "No... Those are Alca-Noise!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Wh-What?! We managed to lure in Alca-Noise with snacks?!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "What are Alca-Noise even doing around here in the first place?!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "I'm not sure, but we have to stop them" [1]

Hibiki Tachibana: "Balwisyall Nescell gugnir tron--"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Let's teach them a lesson!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Zeios igalima raizen tron--"

Hibiki Tachibana: "I thought that was the last of them..."

Kirika Akatsuki: "There's more Alca-Noise coming from the water!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Not just from the skies?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "B-But we're out of bait!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Ahahah... I think WE'RE the bait..."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Why are you laughing?! This is no laughing matter!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Tachibana! Akatsuki!"

Chris Yukine: "When you didn't come back, we got worried you'd been eaten by fish, or something."

Hibiki Tachibana: "You guys!"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Kiri-chan, are you all right?"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Y-Yeah, thanks for the help."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "We can't let the other beachgoers get hurt. Let's finish this quickly."

Hibiki Tachibana "Got it!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "C'mon now. That has to be the last of them..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "What were the Alca-Noise even doing around here in the first place?"

Chris Yukine: "To ruin our day as usual, right? Whatever the reason though, we were definitely being watched."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "This is exactly why I told you not to wander off. You never know when the Noise will appear."

Hibiki Tachibana: "S-Sorry..."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "You were lucky that we made it in time. I hate to think what would've happened if we were any further apart."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "We came here as a group, and therefore we should act as one."

Hibiki Tachibana: (Aww man... First the Alca-Noise, and now I'm getting told off by Tsubasa-san. This is not my day.)

Notes:

[1] This line had no punctuation

[zdbztumble]

COMMISSION: Water Play

A commissioned fic for @johnnyd2! This was an interesting challenge for me, and not the sort of thing I would usually write, but johnny was a good commissioner to work with. The content isn't all that steamy, but I've marked it under a cut for moderate nudity, just to be safe. If you'd like to commission me, for art or writing, get the details here!

The Cerulean Gym was almost exactly as it was the last time they came. The amber of the amber-and-raspberry dome shone a bit more brightly, perhaps, and the Dewgong seemed to have gotten a fresh coat of paint, but it stood out as always, a colorful cake of a building in an open field. And Pikachu couldn't wait to get inside.

"Pikachupi! Pikachupi!" the Mouse Pokémon cried excitedly from his perch on Pikapi's shoulder. His Trainer chuckled softly and reached up to scratch under Pikachu's chin.

"Excited to see Misty, buddy?" he asked with a big, toothy grin. "She'll love seeing you again. And I can't wait to surprise her!"

Ah yes...the plan. The stupid plan. Pikapi had gotten wind from his mother that Pikachupi's sisters were out of town on some photo shoot or other. Instead of calling her up to make plans together, Pikapi thought it would be fun to drop by unannounced. As far as surprises went, it was innocuous enough, but "sneaky" wasn't something that Pikapi could often pull off without things going wrong.

At the moment, however, Pikachu was too thrilled at the idea of seeing Pikachupi again to care. So he held his tongue as Pikapi raced around the Gym to the back door, made their way inside with the key that Pikachupi's mother kept "for emergencies only," and crept through the halls as quietly as he could.

Pikachupi was not to be found in the kitchen. She wasn't in her room upstairs. The living room and the basement aquariums were empty. That left only one place she could be: the main Battling pool. As they approached it, they could hear splashing, laughter, and any number of Pokémon calls.

"She must be training," guessed Pikapi. He tiptoed the rest of the way, and when they reached the doorway, he quickly ducked behind a bench covered in stacks of towels. He and Pikachu peaked out from behind the tallest stack to take a look at what Pikachupi was up to.

She had seven Pokémon with her in the pool, and they weren't training. They were playing. Starmie leapt from the water onto the floating platforms scattered about its surface and then back into the water again, spinning rapidly all the while. Corsola and Kingdra floated lazily along the surface, contented and sleepy smiles on their faces. Azurill, too small to swim still, bounced excitedly around the pool's edge. Psyduck, too incompetent to swim still, stared blankly at the water lapping up on the shallow end, his water wings apparently giving him no confidence to test his luck. And Gyarados and Milotic swam beneath the surface, one sharply, the other elegantly, but both quick in their movements and precise whenever they had to turn around.

Pikachupi was on Milotic's back, a breather in her mouth. Even with her under the water, Pikachu could spy some changes in her. She wore her hair longer now, and it swept forward over her shoulder at the ends even when wet. It seemed she'd grown a few inches too, though Pikachu guessed Pikapi was finally taller than her. And there was something strange about her swimsuit: she didn't have one. Odd. While Pikachu never quite understood humans' need for clothing, they seemed to put great store by it, yet Pikachupi didn't appear bothered. Maybe it's one of those 'fashion' things...

From out of the corner of his eye, Pikachu caught Pikapi's reaction. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open slightly. He'd had this reaction to Pikachupi before, but there was something different this time. A flush ran across his cheeks and nose, and there was a glassiness to his eyes that hadn't been there before. His breath also seemed trapped in his throat. Interesting...maybe he's finally grown up...

"Pikachu?"

The Mouse Pokémon jumped, as did his Trainer. Neither of them had seen Azurill hop over. Her call hadn't drawn anyone else's attention, but Pikapi was nervous all the same. "Hi, Azurill," he whispered. "Go away now. Keep hopping," he made a shooing gesture with his hands, but the little polka dot stayed put, regarding them with a puzzled look.

"Go on, Azurill," said Pikachu. "We want to surprise everyone!"

"Oh...why?"

"Because Pikapi thought it'd be fun."

"Why?"

"Because he's dense."

"Why?"

Pikachu sighed. Togepi may have gotten into trouble, but at least she didn't talk back like this. "Because-"

"Pik? Mistress's Ashboy?" Psyduck had waddled over. And unlike Azurill, he wasn't quiet.

Starmie, Corsola, and Kingdra turned in their direction, Milotic and Gyarados broke the surface, and Pikachupi, once she saw them, let out a deafening cry: "Ash!?"

The gig up, Pikapi crawled out from behind the towels. "H-h-hi, Misty," he stammered, offering her a nervous wave. "I, ah...surprise!"

"Yeah...surprise," Pikachupi said cautiously as she slid off Milotic's back onto the floor. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, it's just...well, a surprise. How did you get in?"

"My mom's key," Pikapi held it up. "So...um...what are you up to?"

"Oh, we're just taking a day to relax. Milotic and Gyarados like to swim together, but they don't always play nice, so I like to be around just in case they..." Pikachupi trailed off. Pikachu could see her taking in the full picture of Pikapi standing before her, blush on his face, mouth agape. She glanced down at herself. A light went off behind her eyes, as if she had just remembered something. With a high-pitched "eep!" she dashed behind Milotic. "Get out of here, Ash!" she screamed.

"Huh? What..." realization came to his face too. "Oh. Oh. OH! I'm sorry, Misty! I didn't mean -"

"How long were you sitting back there, you little creep!?"

"I wasn't - I - I mean, I just wanted -"

"You-you saw everything!"

"But I-I-I-I...what are you doing, anyway!?"

Pikachupi stuck her head - just her head - out. "It's none of your business, Ketchum!"

"She's got a point, Pikapi," Pikachu observed, but Pikapi didn't seem to hear.

"Well, it's really weird!"

"It's just something I like to do sometimes when it's just me and my Pokémon! Excuse me if I have something private I do to calm down!"

Pikapi opened his mouth to argue, but something held him back. He finally turned his head away from Pikachupi. He seemed embarrassed and ashamed. When Pikachu looked over at Pikachupi, he saw that she had looked away too, her scowl softened into something pensive.

"They never change," Psyduck whispered to Pikachu, a snicker to his voice. Pikachu shoved him aside; he wanted all his attention free to keep an eye on his two favorite humans.

The silence between them seemed to hold for five full minutes. It was Pikachupi who broke it: "I...could you hand me a towel? We can talk in the locker room."

That was easier said than done; it seemed Pikapi had decided not to look at Pikachupi anymore, which made for a clumsy effort handing over a towel. Pikachupi had to step out from behind Milotic and snatch it from his hands before she could wrap it around herself. "Let's go," she grumbled, taking Pikapi by the hand.

That made his face go completely red, and he still wouldn't look at her. "I, uh - I brought some of my Water-types to...to meet you. Could I let them out before we t-t-talk?"

"Go ahead."

"T-thanks," he stammered, before releasing Greninja and Oshawott. He and Pikachupi disappeared behind the door to the lockers.

"Howdy, folks," Oshawott greeted Pikachupi's Pokémon. No one replied; all their focus was trained on the door. Even Greninja, not knowing Pikachupi, had picked up on the situation, and eyed the door with a tense look and folded arms.

"They aren't going to fight again, are they?" asked Azurill.

"All day," Psyduck chuckled. Gyarados blasted him into the wall with a Hydro Pump.

Psyduck was wrong. Though the muffled conversation coming through the door did get loud at a certain point, it lasted no longer than ten minutes. When they came back out, Pikachupi still had the towel wrapped about her, and Pikapi had changed; he now had a towel wrapped around his waist, and nothing else on. "So...you're sure you want me to do this with you?" he asked. His stammer had gone, but there was still a shaking quality to his voice.

Pikachupi seemed nervous too; the smile she gave him was small, and her cheeks were red. "Yes. I'm sure," she turned to face the Pokémon. "Back in the water, everyone!"

The water of the Cerulean Gym pool was unlike any other water Pikachu had swam in. It was salty and treated with just a bit of chlorine. And always filled with good friends. Greninja and Gyarados fell into a rather epic water battle. Milotic delighted Azurill and Oshawott by giving them rides around the pool. Starmie resumed its spins. Corsola contented itself with pushing Psyduck around in his inner tube. And Pikachu enjoyed a rousing game of tag with Kingdra.

Pikapi and Pikachupi seemed nervous when they shed their towels and stepped back into the pool. They swam around and occasionally dotted upon one of the Pokémon, but they always maintained a good distance from one another. Pikachupi tried to focus on getting to know Greninja and Oshawott.

"Well, I'm sure Ash is glad to have you back," Pikachu heard her say to Greninja as he swam by, "but it was good of you to stay to help finish off the Giant Rock." The Ninja Pokémon gave her a polite nod before diving back into the water. Oshawott, free from any competition for attention, jumped into Pikachupi's arms and snuggled his head into the crook of her neck.

"Oh, you are the cutest little thing!" she cooed at the Sea Otter Pokémon. He was delighted, but Pikachu couldn't help but feel a pang in his chest.

"What about me?" he cried.

Pikachupi giggled, reached out, and pulled Pikachu into her embrace. "Don't worry, Pikachu," she assured him, "you're still my Pika-pal!" All was forgiven. Pikachu and Oshawott snuggled her face from either side.

"Well, Ash," she called out between giggles, "it looks like now there's two of your Pokémon who like me best."

Pikapi glared at her. "Says who?" he snapped.

Pikachupi glared back. "Says me."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yea-AAAUGH!" Pikapi had dove under the water and swam over; he pulled Pikachupi down by her legs. She let Oshawott and Pikachu go as she sank, and they watched from the surface as Pikapi pushed down on her shoulders to launch his head up out of the water. Pikachu feared, when Pikachupi swam up as well, that they would start to fight, but she came up laughing. They began their own game of tag, splashing at each other and giggling all the while.

When the sun began to set and all the Pokémon headed for the living room or their Pokéballs to rest, Pikachu couldn't help but notice that Pikapi and Pikachupi remained in the water. Pikapi had his arms around Pikachupi, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. Pikachu couldn't hear what they were softly murmuring to each other, but he sensed it boded well for future visits - unexpected or otherwise - to the Cerulean Gym.

[runtosleepdreamer]

Supernatural Survey 😊

Got tagged by @cas-watches-over-you - dude thanks so much for tagging me this was pretty darn fun and awesome!! 😘 1. What season did you start watching Supernatural? 
I actually have no idea… I don’t even remember the proper story anymore cuz despite it not being several years it was still quite a few years ago when I was still in.. middle school perhaps? That my school mates were talking about it and I asked my elder sibling who showed me random episodes, going by the least violent ones so I wouldn’t get nightmares.. so yeah I have no idea what season I first saw or what season was out exactly when I began watching random episodes. I only stared watching properly since last year 2. Who was the first character you fell in love with? 
Sam… he’s such a goddamn puppy that it’s hard not to like him!!! 3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?: 
Omg so many. I remember making a post about how the writers kill iff characters that were initially annoying but right as they started growing on us - bam. Dead
But ok maybe the first example was Bela… she actually was of course starting to grow o me by the time she died.. but the character that comes most immediately to mind because of how strongly I hated them… was Rowena. God she had been simply infuriating - I hated her so much for manipulating Crowley and threatening whatever good relationship he had with the Winchesters, that I wished she would die… but then come season 11 I fell absolutely I love with the woman 4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? 
Eep I have no fucking idea… fuck idk.. mm I never during my daydreams imagine myself with my fictional characters but if I had to choose… ugh maybe. Ok Dean is loyal and Sam is a puppy but idk it feels weird coming in between them… Cass is pretty amazing but… ugh fuck it maybe oh ok why not.. Charlie? Yeah. Charlie for sure, she’s amazing, pretty damn amazing with technology, I sure as hell wouldn’t mind her teaching me how to hack or everything about Star Trek or whatnot, seeing as I’ve never watched them (le gasp, the outrage! I know I know) Or hell maybe even Sam cuz he’s pretty soft and everything (but also great in bed obviously) idk I can’t imagine myself with Dean cuz he would be more awesome with someone who can actually take care of themselves for real you know? Whereas Sam has always paired nicely with women in a domestic life - though they did end up dying… gah idk 🤷‍♀️ 5. If you could go on a date with just one character, which one would you choose?:
Dean. Easily Dean there, cuz even if it’s one date, I’m sure he’ll make it worth it, sexy or not because he’s a damn attentive guy.. 6. What would you do on that date? 
A first date or like after a few? Cuz if it’s after a few I wouldn’t mind a nature hike cuz goddamn do I love those… but for a first Idk I’d feel too self conscious. Maybe a good movie… maybe the beach… some cuddles and some good food and talking quietly to each other in the night under the moon and stars with a soft breeze 😊 7. Which character would you most want to be like?: 
Hm. Any strong female roles out there? Yeah that seriously narrows it down but real talk.. I’m torn between Charlie and Rowena.. ugh maybe Charlie. She’s pretty amazing and nice and fun… though I honest to god can’t imagine myself ever LARPing… 8. Which character would you most want to see brought back from the dead?: 
Right now, Castiel. But since (SPOILERS duh) we already know he’s coming back… Crowley!!!! 9. Which character would you most like to punch?: 
Oh that’s a long list there buddy. Uh. Lucifer? Yeah. As of the season 12 finale.. definitely Lucifer. 10. Who is your absolute favorite character?: 
Dean 😁😍😘 11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?: 
uh torn between Amara and Metatron. God I kinda hated season 11 because of her, it was a bit of a drag to get through but god Metatron was so. Damn. Annoying. 12. Which character are you most like?: 
Oh god I have no idea, they’re all way too amazing people for me to compare with them. Uhhh maybe… eep Idk Lisa? 😕 idk I’m not even sure if I’m brave much tbh but if not her then.. idk maybe Chuck before the end of season 5? 😐 idk 13. What death hit you the hardest? 
Honestly because I kinda already knew about everyone who was going to die until season 12, because like I had to catch up with the show and that meant big watching 11 seasons before the 12th came out. So that means 11 seasons f knowing who already dies for the most part… but I guess.. ok Charlie, idr if I knew she died but it hurt me a lot because I hated the fact that she died, and even more so what it did to the boys. And then every time Dean died, mainly seasons 3 and 9’s finale, and goddamn how broken up Sam got about it at those times… fuck those killed me but I guess they were more of the heart wrenching scenes then death specifically that hurt me. 
But of course. Cass. Cuz I had obviously. So. Not. Seen. It. Coming. I barely managed I avoid screaming and after… it took me a couple of hours to even remotely get to mouth shut 14. What season finale hit you the hardest?: 
Season 9 and 12, reasons stated above^^^ especially 12 cuz hiatus!!!!! 15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?: 
well fuck me cuz now I gotta most likely look up the names of the episodes
Mm. 
First one easily is season 9 episode 13 the purge (thanks google) because of how it ended. Ok Ima stop there cause season 9 was an emotional turmoil that I’d rank as love cuz of the angst. But the case itself was pretty neat. 
Uh god I can only remember specific scenes. Ok uh
“A very supernatural Christmas”(?) “Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie” “Hell House” “Ghost Facers” “Fanfiction” “Jus in Bello” “Bad day at Black Rock” is that ten yet.. “Alex Annie Alexis Ann” idek I just really love some scenes specially “Free to be you and me” and of course “Changing Channels” god this was so damn hard 16. What’s been your favorite season?: 
9!!! Aaaangst! 17. Who is your favorite angel? 
Cass easily 18. Who is your favorite demon? Crowley :) 19. Who’s your favorite evil character? 
Favorite? Then Ima go with Crowley again 20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?: 
Mm this blog I try to keep ship free but if you wanna check out my side blog for the answers, I’ll be happy to message you on this one ;) 21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?: 
Can’t remember any right now but they’re all amazing… oh how about Garth!!! God he’s such a sweetheart - and still alive! But oh Jody is amazing too…! 22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?:
“I’m proud of us” it’s the main one at the top of my head but there are so many other brilliant ones. I have a tendency to lean towards the emotional ones made to each other (Dean, Sam, Cass) such as above from Dean to Sam, his ending speech in season 8’s finale “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you!” 😭😪 and Cass’s - what he thought was his - dying speech to Sam and Dean mostly as well as Mary to an extent in 12x12 23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you choose? 
Katie McGrath? She was - and is - my woman crush 😉 lol she’d be an awesome witch or hell even huntress or screw it even another Bela 🤷‍♀️ 24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creatures would you like to see included?: 
Unicorns. Interacting with Dean. Idk.. uh honestly what have we not seen? Cuz I wouldn’t mind just another case that stumps the boys because it’s an almost unheard f monster, those are fun and new 🤷‍♀️ but maybe… omg some version of the Loch Ness monster. Idk it’d be interesting to see to have to deal with that.. or maybe what was it.. tree nymph and… what are the creatures who reside in the water called? 25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?: 
Omg um… ok that girl that he sorta shacked up with when he was a demon in season 10..? …Yeah probably her So I checked and her name is Anne Marie!… 26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?: 
Eileen - she was a huntress, so could take of herself, and Dean as just an absolutely amazingly (supportive) teasing elder bro about it 27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?: 
Omg I don’t think I’ve seen enough to decide but… I think whenever J2M comfort each other. Those are just so soft and sweet and give us an insight to their friendship that just 🤤😍 28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character to be described?: 
Well fuck me I’d love to be a badass huntress cuz it’s something I’m obviously not IRL… or maybe someone who isn’t aware of the Supernatural world until the boys come along and then I prove really useful for heir research because of something and then somehow I get dragged into the world and I’m actually pretty good? Yeah, there’s a pattern there isn’t it 29. What do you hope to see in the next season?: 
Apart from Castiel and Rowena and Crowley alive? Idk Jack not being the next big bad, hopefully a break from big bads for the boys and after they get Cass and Mary back and hopefully just leave Lucifer to rot in the alternate universe, just go on some cases and take some time to cool down you know? 30. - 40. If you had to choose… Bobby or John?: 
Bobby!!!!! I mean hell yeah I would seriously love to see how the boys would react if John came back, but that would probably ensure that a lot of drama and fights would be quick to ensue as well, so yeah. Bobby Bela or Ruby? 
Well ok I liked the first Ruby because as Katie Cassidy went, we didn’t know for sure Ruby was not to be trusted. But overall Ruby was pure evil.. and I actually felt bad when Bela died while I didn’t for Ruby - felt relieved when Ruby died actually -so yeah. Bela Jess or Madison?: 
erm… Madison, maybe? Jo or Lisa?: 
Jo… I actually shipped her with Dean more than I ever will with Lisa, truth be told Charlie or Kevin? 
Ergh both but.. Charlie first? Balthazar or Ash?: 
oooh they were both good.. but.. maybe Ash? Cas or Crowley? 
Ooh Cass but ugh Crowley is definitely a close second! Ben or Claire? 
Claire Jody or Donna? 
Jody :) Sam or Dean?: 
Mm Dean first, but of course Sam next immediately I'ma tag: @deanwinbean @thewincestfeels @atmaandauraofdean @doctor–idiot @deanandcastrash @all-i-need-is-destiel And y'all don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, it’s totally cool 🙂

[fan-tasticfour]

Did I hear a request for literally all of Uendo Toneido’s in-game dialogue? Cuz now you’re getting it.

( Dedicated to @alexandritethegreat who commented in tags on another post: “#i admire the op because i'd just list like all of their lines”. )

( ...Also under a Read More because this post is MASSIVE. )

[ FINDING TAIFU ]

U - Sh-Shisho's dead...? No... D-Do you think... HE did it?

P - Oh, no! I-If he did... then wh-what do we do?!

K - Hey, pull yourself together!

K - Don't worry. I have an idea...

[ INTRODUCTION ]

U – I am the rakugo storyteller Uendo Toneido. Even if my performance isn’t worth watching, I will certainly watch my words. I wouldn’t want to say anything thoughtless and get arrested.

P – After all, that’d be…a “raku-no-no”! Hee hee!

U – Thank you everybody! Good night!

U – [ fucking UP AND LEAVES ]

[ RETURNS TO THE WITNESS STAND ]

P – Oh, my, my!

U – Are you a fan of mine, miss? Would you like my autograph? One moment… [ signs the thing and throws it at her face. Athena is not a happy lawyer. ] No need to stand on ceremony! My fan deserves a fan, after all.

P – A “fan” for a “fan”! Nice one! Hee hee! Oh, why if it isn’t Simon! How are you on this fine day, sir?

U – Quite a dilly of a pickle we’ve found ourselves in, wouldn’t you say?

P – Never performed in a place like this, y’know. I got butterflies here, can’t you see? Hee hee!

U – Ah, I suppose you’re right. In that “case”…

P – I was promoted to “futatsume” yesterday, and received the stage name of “Uendo”. The show was our way of celebrating my new name and “middle rank” standing! Hee!

K – And then THAT happened… Haah… I never dreamed something like that’d happen, not in a million years. And just as I got my chance to start repaying my debt to Shisho, too…

U – Yeah… Plus, I’m worried about Geiru… The way she clung to Shisho… Poor thing. I told her to keep a stiff upper lip… Stiff like rigor mortis…

K – Keep telling those lame jokes, and Shisho’ll come scold you from the grave!

U – I wouldn’t mind getting yelled at, you know, if it meant seeing him again.

[ WITNESS TESTIMONY #1 ]

U – I noticed Shisho’s dying message right away. 

U – The stiff cards were right next to the stiff, you see.

P – Hey now, enough with the silly puns already! Hee hee!

U – Anyway, I got the meaning right away. I knew it must’ve been talking about Bucky!

K – That was the master’s final message, left as he was drowning in soba brother. It’s so like Shisho not to write Bucky’s name outright. “Plain and simple” wasn’t his style.

[ COMMENTARY ]

U – It’s obvious. All you have to do is look at the crime scene. He was found with his face shoved in a bowl.

K – It’s only natural to assume he was drowned in the broth for the noodles!

P – My, my! It’s so like a chef to kill someone this way, wouldn’t you say? And with the karuta message he left behind, it’s clear Bucky Whet did it!

K – Bucky used soba for the deed, all to get back the soba shop deed.

[ CROSS-EXAMINATION ]

[ Statement #1 ]

U – Well, it was a coded message right there next to the body. I’m sure anybody would’ve thought that they were there to name his killer. I love murder mysteries, and often watch them on TV.

U – I saw a similar scene during a murder mystery marathon last Tuesday. That’s what made me think, “This must be a dying message!”

[ Statement #2 ]

U – As I said, the stiff cards were right there next to the stiff, so they were hard to miss.

U – The message just caught my eye, because the stiff cards were right there next to the stiff.

U – Stiff cards…next to the stiff…

U – *sigh*…

[ Statement #3 ]

P – But look at all these wonderful people in the audience! It’s only natural for an entertainer to want to have some fun! Hee hee! I guess we can let a few jokes slide, right?

P – Right, right! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Well done, Your Honor! Guess you can’t judge a judge by his cover!

P – Much obliged! Hee hee!

[ Statement #4 ]

U – There’s only one “Whet Noodle” around here, and you’ve seen that giant “4″ on his back. It’s the only interpretation that makes sense!

P – Wh-What is it?!

K – [ smoking after Athena suggesting there was another whet noodle ]

[ Statement #5 ]

U – I know Shisho. He would never let someone get the last word on him, even in death. With his face in the soba broth, and his consciousness fading away… …he left a message that pointed toward Bucky as he left this world. It’s the only way it could’ve happened!

K – Look, a dying message is something you leave as you’re dying, right? I saw a scene like that in a detective show.

U – But talking is my livelihood, you know. I talk all the time. This and that, truths and untruths… I can’t stop myself from talking!

[ Statement #6 ]

U – Even in the throes of death, it was in Shisho’s nature to throw in a twist somehow. Truly the consummate entertainer till the very end, don’t you think?

P – If I ever bite the big one like that… …I wanna leave a message just as good as Shisho’s! Hee hee!

[ OBJECTION! ]

U –  [sips tea nervously. spits it out when Athena points out lack of broth in Taifu’s lungs ]

P – M-Me?!

P – Well, those cards are from Shisho’s special “Soba Scenes of Tokyo Past” set. Each card is related in some way to soba.

P – Well, uh, there was soba broth spilled all over them…

K – No. There’s no one named “Owen” in the Toneido family, or our circle of friends.

U – Go ahead, ask anybody you’d like!

U – Are you accusing me of rearranging the cards?

K – ME, who came to testify out of the goodness of my heart?!

U – *sip* *sip*

P – Eep! M-Mr. Prosecutor! What’s a guy supposed to do at a time like this?

U – Oh, I see. So that’s what they’re after, is it? In that case… Your Honor, I’ve decided not to say another word.

U – That’s right. I’m not going to fall for it.

U – E-Even so, I have the right to refuse to answer.

U – [ silent tea sipping ]

K – Are you saying I should quit?! Because I’m not afraid to speak my mind, I’ll have you know.

P – Oh, no! Never mind what I just said! It IS scary to talk! It’s absolutely terrifying!

K – But, no! As a rakugo artist, I must talk! If I don’t, how can I ever show my face on stage again?! Your Honor, I’m ready to testify!

[ WITNESS TESTIMONY #2 ]

K – After my performance, I went to visit Shisho.

P – I called him from outside the room… but he didn’t reply.

U – When I entered the dressing room, I saw Shisho slumped over the table, motionless!

[ COMMENTARY ]

K – Of course there aren’t any. Because I’m not trying to hide anything.

K – It’s fine by me! I have nothing to hide. Bring it on!

[ MOOD MATRIX #1.1 ]

K – After my performance, I went to visit Shisho.

P – I called to him from outside the room…

P – …but he didn’t reply.

U – When I entered the dressing room, I saw Shisho slumped over the table, motionless!

[ OBJECTION! ]

U – “Some thin stranger with cheesy toe skin,” you say?

U – I don’t know. Maybe it’s me who’s got some cheese in my ears…

[ 80% of his cushion pile is gone. Athena questions if he willed the floor to open from underneath and swallow them. (Personally, I say yes.) ]

U – So what was this unexpected thing you noticed?

[ Cushion overload!! They had to take some away from him again. ]

U – I-Is it, though?

[ Zoned Out ]

U – Yeah, you got me! I’m a total space case! Ha ha ha!

K – Well, get your head out of the clouds and go do some work for a change!

P – Don’t worry, honey! I found a wallet the other day. We have plenty of money to live on now!

[ Entertainer’s Guts ]

P – Sadly, I busted a gut laughing at Shisho’s bits last week.

U – Now I’m practically gutless… Does my tale of woe pluck at your gutstrings?

A – Don’t you mean heartstrings?

U – Sorry, I was just trying to match…

P – …the level of nonsense coming out of your mouth, lady! Hee hee!

K – If you don’t like it, just say so! Go on, spill your guts!

[ ALREADY DEAD ]

P – Wh-Whaaat?! What kind of a thing is that to say?! You’ve got it all wrong…! O-Oh, right! I just remembered something! I thought Shisho was just sleeping when I first saw him! Hee hee!

U – Well, he had his head and arms up on the table, as if he were taking a nap.

P – Oh, and one other thing! There was that note, too!

P – Yes! That’s the note I saw! After reading that, who wouldn’t think Shisho was napping?!

K – That’s right. I saw this note, so that’s why I thought Shisho was asleep.

P – I want to change my testimony to include that statement!

[ MOOD MATRIX #1.2 ]

K – After my performance, I went to visit Shisho.

P – I called to him from outside the room…

P – …but he didn’t reply.

U? – When I opened the door, I thought he was sleeping.

K? – But something seemed off, so I rushed over to him.

U? – I was shocked to find him dead! I couldn’t believe my eyes!

[ The ‘?’ are my personal speculation because it’s the only part of the testimony where the speaker is unclear. ]

[ OBJECTION! ]

P – “Funny”, you say?! I guess an entertainer of my caliber can make people laugh, even with my emotions!

P – What Hmm… Let’s see… Oh, yeah! Now I remember! As I was going in, I whacked my little piggy on something. I was annoyed at my own clumsiness! Hee hee!

P – J-Just a little bump on my little piggy. N-N-No big deal… I-It’s embarrassing, really…

K – You tell her. Really, who doesn’t stub their toe every one in a while? You really gotta fuss over every small detail like this?

[ Wrong Selection ]

P – Oh, I could never stub my toe on that!

U – That would really be starting things out on the wrong foot! Right, Mr. Golden-Ager?

[ TELEVISION ]

P – Y-Yes, you’re right… It was the TV!

U – Y-Yes, I stubbed my pinky toe on the TV. B-B-But what of it? Why is this so important to you?

U – Shisho must’ve moved it so he could watch my routine. But what a place to put it! Right in the middle of the doorway like that! I didn’t want to bump into it again, so I put it back where it belonged.

P – That’s right. It’s a closed-circuit monitor that shows the stage.

P – O-Oh my! Yes, you’re right! The TV hit the table, and Shisho’s body moved with a jolt… That’s when I first realized that Shisho was dead! Oh! But how scared I was!

P – A-All right.

[ MOOD MATRIX #1.3 ]

K – After my performance, I went to visit Shisho.

P – I called to him from outside the room…

P – …but he didn’t reply.

U – When I opened the door, I thought he was sleeping.

K – I tried to enter the dressing room, but stubbed my toe on the TV.

U – When I put the TV back in its normal spot, I realized Shisho was dead!

P – Seeing him slumped over that cluttered table…*sniff*…Oh, Shisho…

[ Wrong Answer ]

U – Match, match… Ahhh, I see. “MATCH”, as in…

P – “Manage to Assert

K – a Thoughtful, Calculated Hypothesis.”

U – In other words, YOU are the something here that didn’t “MATCH”, correct?

[ Simon, being a punny little shit – “Looks like you’ve met your match.” ]

[ OBJECTION! ]

P – Wh-What do you mean?

K – S-Search me. Your little thingy must’ve made a mistake!

U – Well, I…Er…

U – Nnnngh… I… I-I…!

[ Wrong Answer ]

U – I can express many emotions, such as surprise, sadness, and anger upon my cushions. To me, these expressions are simply an act. If I lost control over such things, I wouldn’t be very effective on stage, now would I?

[ KARUTA CARDS ]

P – I, er…

U – [ nervously sipping tea ]

P – Nnngh! [ noise (...and cushion) level to 0% ]

[ U.3.N.D.0 ]

U – YOU. ARE. CORRECT. I. AM. A. ROBOT. BEEP BOOP BOOP!

K – Hah! What a space cadet!

[ Superpowers ]

P – Oh, yes! I make these butterflies dance in the air with psychokinesis. Hee hee!

K – NOT! They’re floating on the breeze of my fan, that’s all.

U – I’m very sad to say I don’t have any supernatural powers.

[ MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES ]

U – (SPITS OUT TEA)

P – H-H-How did she know? How did she figure it out?!

K – Hey, you! Lawyer girl! You got a problem with us?! Huh?!

U – Uendo Toneido. I’m a rakugo storyteller, as you know.

P – Hello, everybody! Patches, the friendly jester here! Hee hee!

K – Hmph. Kisegawa. Courtsean.

A – And is that all of you?

U – Yes, that’s all of us.

[ Wrong Answer ]

P – Wow! You are amazingly heedless, aren’t you!

[ FOURTH PERSONALITY ]

U – N-No! That’s not why! We kept our disorder a secret for a different reason altogether.

P – We’ve been taking advantage of our affliction to act out various rakugo characters. If word of this got out, well…

K – …our reputation as a rakugo artist would be tarnished, as would the Toneido name.

U – That’s why we kept it a secret from everyone except members of the Toneido school. But really, there is no “fourth personality”. It’s just the three of us in here.

U – B-But…!

P – Y-Yes, I’m afraid so! Really stunk up the stage, I did! Hee hee!

U – And yet, I have a perfect alibi!

P – Okey-dokey-smokey!

[ WITNESS TESTIMONY #3 ]

U – I was onstage until just moments before I went into the dressing room.

K – The entire audience was my witness.

P – But my performance was a huge bust. Not a single soul laughed!

U – I’ll never be able to live down how terribly I bombed during that very important show.

[ CROSS-EXAMINATION ]

[ Statement #1 ]

U – Are you asking whether it could’ve been some imposter?

U – Unlike a big arena, a rakugo theater is a cozy, little place. It would be hard to fool an audience in such an intimate setting, don’t you think?

U – Good. I’m glad we could clear that up, because I guess you could say…

[ Statement #2 ]

K – Not a thing. Everything was the same as always. Mr. Prosecutor, you questioned the audience, didn’t you?

P – Oh…It’s so embarrassing! I tried my best! Really, I did…

[ Statement #3 ]

K – Hmm… I’m not sure if it was my performance, or if it was just that particular audience… Or maybe it was the story I picked. But every entertainer knows that this kind of thing happens from time to time.

[ Press #3 > Audience Number ]

K – Well, let’s see. We drew a full house, so… …I think there must have been fifty, maybe sixty people in the audience.

P – Exactly! I dropped a big, stinky bomb in front of all those people. It was a catastrophe, I tell you! I was sweating buckets from start to finish!

[ Statement #4 > Fifty People ]

U – That’s right. Everybody was just staring in silence at me. It was simply awful.

K – What are you trying to say?

P – O-Of course there were people in the audience! It was a full house, I tell you! Lots of regulars. Want me to ask ‘em all to come here?

[ Press #3 > What you performed ]

U – I could, but I’m not sure if it would mean anything to the uninitiated.

U – All right. If you insist… The story I performed is called “Tokisoba”– otherwise known as “Time Soba”.

[ Statement #4 > Performance ]

K – Well…I suppose I was a little nervous… It’s a lot of pressure when you’re the star of such an important show, you know?

U – I wanted so badly to live up to the great name of “Uendo” that I inherited… …that I guess I overperformed a little this time.

U – That’s right. The name belonged to one of Shisho’s former disciples who died of illness at a young age.

U – In that case, can I count on your sympathy, and have you go a little easier on me?

[ Statement #5 ]

K – Well, aren’t YOU a regular rude daisy?! Do you really think a rakugo artist who regularly bombs would get promoted? In fact, I’m known as the Toneido School’s “Whirl-Uendo of Laughter”, I’ll have you know!

U – [ fucking sadfacing at the nickname being insulted ]

P – Hee hee. I’m glad you like it!

[ OBJECTION! ]

U – Odd? N-No, I don’t think tere’s anything odd about it.

U – [ SPITS OUT TEA ]

K – Well… You see… The reason for that is…

U – How do I say this… You see… Um, let’s say it was a, uh… a prank…

P – Th-That’s right! It was just a little joke, you see! H-Hee hee! I was trying to surprise Shisho by performing his routine before he did!

[ Performance ]

U – But Shisho’s scheduled routine is written right here in the invitation.

P – Here, why don’t you read what Shiso was going to perform out loud?

K – “You just earned yourself a penalty, defense!”

[ Cause of death ]

P – Come on! Not even a jester like me thinks the cops would be fooled by such a silly trick.

K – Besides, the story I was originally going to do, “Soba Glutton”, also features soba.

[ TIME OF DEATH ]

P – Eeeeeeeek!

U – [ spits tea ]

P – Yipes!

U – [ SPITS MORE TEA ]

U – Ngh…

U – ……….

U – Nnngh… …I-I confess. I-I tampered with the crime scene.

K – Now wait just one minute! Yes, I admit to messing with the dressing room, but I didn’t kill Shisho!

K – I… I refuse to answer that question!

U – …Geez. Not that again. I told you we don’t know anything about this “Owen”!

P – Bravo! You tell ‘em, Mr. Prosecutor! Hee hee!

P – I-I exercise my right to remain silent!

P – Sh-Shut up! I will remain silent, and that’s it!

K – Patches, you fool! You stay out of this!

[ WITNESS TESTIMONY #4 ]

U – I’ve never met any personality named “Owen”.

K – Patches was just blurting out nonsense in a panic.

P – We’re always aware, so we’d definitely notice if a personality like that showed up!

K – How dare you treat me like a criminal based on mere conjecture?!

[ CROSS-EXAMINATION ]

[ Statement #1 ]

U – Well, it’s more like all three of us are always here. And the personality that is most suited to the moment is the one that comes out.

P – Well, we never know when our turn will come, right?

K – So we stand by, and listen.

U – I never really thought about it, but I guess that’s right.

[ Statement #2 ]

P – Hee hee! Why, hello! You rang?

P – Well, er… You see…

K – I’ll take over from here, if you don’t mind! Listen. I hate to say it, but Patches is about as smart as a sack of rocks. If you grill him with a bunch of highfaluting words, he’s going to want to keep silent.

K – Well, I don’t know about that. But, anyway… …I do know that Patches was just flustered, and that’s why he decided to remain silent.

[ Statement #3 ]

U – Wh-What would happen? I’m not even sure what you mean…

U – N-Ngh…!

K – Comparing us to cockroaches– do we bug you that much, girlie?!

[ Statement #4 ]

U – But how can you be so sure that that’s what the cards really mean?

U – Well, for example, “Owen, the fourth hitter”!

P – He’s a baseball player! A really great one, too! Owen Gonzales, thirty-six years old. He’s a “cleanup”, fourth-place hitter, of course.

U – Well, then how about this? Maybe it means

P – “OWE N 4 TH”, like “I owe ‘N’ four thousand.”

U – What? “N” isn’t a person! It was Shisho’s favorite hobby shop, “N-Joy”. He was a huge model train collector.

U – Maybe he owed the hobby shop some money. So he left a note to remind himself.

K – Shisho worked in mysterious ways.

K – I’m being completely serious! The point is, “OWEN 4TH” could mean just about anything!

[ Wrong Answer ]

P – I may be soft in the noggin, but I don’t see a single bruise on my head. Do you?

[ RICE WINE SAKE ]

K – Oh please. Don’t call it “rice wine”. That’s so unsophisticated. And it’s not even “wine”. Hmph. Silly girl.

K – I drank sake? Oh, that’s a good one!

U – We have a real sweet tooth, you see, so, yes, we did accept a sugary, red-bean bun… …but since we really dislike sake, we said no, thank you to that.

P – Believe it or not, we’re real weak when it comes to booze. Hee hee! Even a tiny drop can knock us right out!

U – So, you see… …I had a sweet manju bun, but I didn’t drink any sake.

U – Yes, that’s right.

U – I don’t recall doing anything like that.

U – Well, yes…That’s right.

U – [ SPITS OUT TEA ]

K – H-Hmph! What kind of lightweight do you think I am?! Even I wouldn’t pass out from eating a single manju!

[ AFTER RECESS ]

U – ……….Ngh…

U – D-Don’t be ridiculous! A sweet little snack like this couldn’t possibly… I-I mean, it could never…

U – Ngh… F-Fine. whatever!

U – *chomp* *chomp* … *gulp*

U – See? I told you… It don– don’t affect me in the suh– slightest! *hic*

P – We might be a liiightweight, but c’mooon, nnnobody’s THAAAT l-light. Hee hee!

K – Hmph. Sh-Sheriouslyyy… Nobody ge’s drunk offa wuh, wuh, one lil’ bun… *hic*

[ OWEN ]

O – Oooooh… *sniffle*

O – Oooh… *sniffle*…M-My name is Owen… I’m…five.

O – A-Am I in trouble…? Please don’t yell at me… Oooh…

O – Shisho… Shisho…! *sniffle*

O – Uwahhhhh!

O – Uwahhh! Whatta scary lady!

O – O-Okay… Shisho was…super nice… He always played with me… Just ike… Just like a real grandpa. I loved Shisho… *sniffle*

O – Ooohhh… *sniffle*

O – I-I saw it… I saw Shisho getting…

O – Y-Yeah…

[ WITNESS TESTIMONY ]

O – Shisho was standing with a knife in his hand…

O – Blood was dripping onto Shisho’s face, getting it all red..

O – I couldn’t move at all!

O – I was so scared… I passed out.

[ COMMENTARY ]

O – I…Ooooooh… I was so scared…! *sniffle* Oooooooh… So… So scared…! *sniffle*

[ MOOD MATRIX #2.1 ]

O – Shisho was standing with a knife in his hand…

O – Blood was dripping onto Shisho’s face, getting it all red...

O – I couldn’t move at all!

O – I was so scared… I passed out.

[ Wrong Answer ]

O – *s-sniffle* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

O – Oooooh… Uwaaaaaaaaaah!

[ OBJECTION! ]

O – Yeah… Blood was dripping down onto Shisho’s face…

O – I-I remember now! Somebody was sitting up on top of Shisho!

O – O-Okay… So…Um…So…somebody was sitting up on top of Shisho, bleeding from their head… …and smooshing something into Shisho’s face!

[ MOOD MATRIX #2.2 ]

O – Shisho had blood on his face and a knife in his hand…

O – He was on the floor, and somebody was smooshing something into his face...

O – I couldn’t move at all! I was so scared… I passed out.

[ Wrong Answer ]

O – Um… no. Not at all, lady.

O – Oh, no! Now the lady is mad at me! Waaaaah!

[ OBJECTION! ]

O – Ooooh… Y-You’re scaaaring me…!

O – Well… Wh-When I woke up…the person who killed Shisho…was standing over me… …bleeding from their head…

O – Ooooh… I… I don’t know who it was….

O – *sniffle* Okay…

[ MOOD MATRIX #2.3 ]

O – Shisho had blood on his face and a knife in his hand…

O – He was on the floor, and somebody was smooshing dough into his face!

O – I couldn’t move at all!

O – I was so scared… I passed out.

O – and when I woke up…

O – …the person who killed Shisho was standing over me.

[ Wrong Answer ]

O – “Incon…” Huh? What does that mean?

O – Y-You mean, I did something bad?

O – I-I’m sorry, really! I’ll try to be a good boy from now on, honest! *sniffle*

[ OBJECTION! ]

O – That nice smell… I love the smell… of that perfume…

O – I-It’s the smell of…of… Ungh…

O – Ooooooh… It’s the smell of… [ faints ]

[ CREDITS DIALOGUE ]

U – That trial the other day really inspired me. I’ve even created a rakugo routine based on Shisho’s case.

P – It’s a mystery story that’ll keep flipping the audience’s thinking on it’s head! It’s called “The Scary Udon Noodle”! Hee hee!

K – Hmph, you’re giving away too much in the title!

U – Keeping the Toneido School going… …is our way of paying penance and repaying our debt to Shisho. And that includes rakugo training for that kid, Owen.