#uh i habe more but brain
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doliminuz ¡ 7 days ago
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Any HCs for the Vera kids?
Ouh yes yes I do
Shirley heavily dislikes their dad but still cares for him a bit, would be very upset if he died. Thaddeus wants him dead in a ditch.
Shirleys good with kids in the way that they think shes really cool, she can keep them occupied but CANNOT look after one.
Thaddeus is the least favourite, but that's basically canon
Also HRT could've saved him
Declan killed their mother. Shirley has no idea, Thaddeus witnessed it. (Hence him being less than fazed about Declan trying kill him)
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bonesandthebees ¡ 1 year ago
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okay im typing this in my notes app but im reading burning gold
this is just going to be me screaming and going “i like this” so uh yeah enjoy!
THE TREES ARE WATCHING
also i didn’t read the summary or the tags i like to just go in blind (is this stupid? yes do i do it anyways? yes)
okay your descriptions are like heavenly they scratch an itch in my brain like idk the way you pick apart the world and describe it in a way that feels natural is just so eieisjwidj like i always have to take a moment to just read it and let it soak
TALLULAH MY BABY
wall of trees you say 🤨 that emoji is my fav it’s so silly
PEOPLE!
oh a machete! that’s my favorite way to greet people too!
CREEPER MINECRAFTS GRIM REAPER sorry it’s late
ive watched qsmp but habe not watched in a while so im just smiling and nodding as i figure out who these characters are i really gotta get back on that
WUALCIRYI wow way to go with the spelling there. what i meant to say was QUACKITY
WOAH! abandonment and theft that’s wild wilbur
one night stand you say 🤭 ive been using that emoji too much man
PHILZA MINECRAFT!
TILIN
wait why am i reading in silence where is my bg music
i have no clue what’s going on not for lack of the story but because i just zoned out
tallulah and eye contact so something about something yeah go me
AWKWARD EX SITUATION I LOVE PHIL
something something about the gold that was on those trees earlier right maybe something something can’t wait to figure out what is going on
tallulah is not like other girls that’s what im gathering she got that ichor blood presumably bc wilbjr is being dicey af
TOUR MY LITTLE MUSIC MAN
eye balls
GOOD PERSON WILBJR!
wilbjr come close you can tell me *puts ear as close to him as possible*
SHAKES HIM AGGRESSICELY TELL EM
TALLULAH IS INFECTED ISNT SHE
LEABE HER WITH THEM?? THAT IS MY CHILD SHE IS NOT GOING ANYJEUW THEY ARE MY FAV LITTLE PAIR
my darling lil girl infected but alive like a cool kid
OH!
haha how silly… how did that happen? HAHA!
GOLD EYES THE LITTLE CHILDRNE JUST LIKE MY DARLING TALLULAH
TJE tkost tiltin:( WOW MY SPELLING IS BAD IM SO SORRY
yay! happy ending! i love your worldbuilding it’s so aifiqjrjwjfjwdj this was great thank you for the serotonin
this was longer than intended my apologies
- 🪿
I've always thought aspen trees are super pretty but also extremely unsettling with the way their trunks look like they're covered in eyes. I knew I wanted the forest to be an aspen forest bc of how gorgeous aspen forests look in the fall with the contrast of the bright orange leaves and the white trunks, and I thought the eyes in the bark just lended itself super well to the idea of the trees 'watching' everyone around them
honestly going in blind can be very fun I hope it made the fic more enjoyable for you!!
aaa ty I loved playing around with the descriptions in this one shot
LMAO yeah there are a lot of qsmp people here who you might be confused by if you don't watch qsmp regularly or haven't seen it in a while
philza voice: I Know What You Are
I really enjoyed playing around with the foreshadowing and worldbuilding elements of this one. specifically with the gold by mentioning the tree covered in the stuff at the very beginning, but it not being properly discussed till later on. then the little hints that something's going on with tallulah but trying my best not to make it obvious until the very end. a lot of fun balancing aspects there lol
I'm so glad you enjoyed!! ty for giving your thoughts this was very fun for me to read :)
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boypussydilf ¡ 2 years ago
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BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy
BACON METTUCE TOMATO
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.
if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.
sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.
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thetoaddaddy ¡ 2 years ago
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A rush of warmth he wasn’t used to nor was he completely sure he liked it. It all changed so quickly. His misery seems to be fading the more he takes in the other man. It’s strange. He knows this person. He’s seen them before. Why?… Why did it take so long if his intended was always so close?
“Hi, Kagami.” He responds to the utter shock his name was spoken with. He walks closer to them. His heart is hammering. Excitement and nerves habe him on edge. “I uh… I wasn’t expecting you. Er not that I’m mad or not into men, I am, into men I mean! I just… didn’t expect you.”
Everyone imagines who it might be. A friend or crush. He always had the vibe his soulmate must be a woman. This isn’t bad either. Jiraiya takes a seat beside Kagami. It kills him a little keeping his hands to himself.
People lament so much about how good it all feels. Touching, kissing, feeling and exploring. Whatever part of the brain that controls this soulmate part is sending strong messages to do all those things. He forces them down so he could simply watch. His eyes memorizing the details of Kagami’s face. The face of other half. He isn’t used to feeling whole.
[FOOTPRINTS | 🦶] Your soulmates leave coloured footprints only you can see.
(If you like to, no must :3 )
oooo this a good one thanks for asking
There were times. Most times actually. Jiraiya only saw a faint glimmer. Faint enough he figured it was just a trick. Most his life he just assumed he didn’t have a soulmate. What’s the point? He didn’t seem worthy of one anyhow.
Maybe that’s why he wanders. He travels. His eyes watching the roads ahead, the crossroads and paths of trade towns and forests. Anything…
People try to tell him they will come. Someone crafted to be his second half will come across his path soon. He’s been promised that for years. Alas it seems to be a lie. He has no other half. Destined he is to never be whole. To watch as everyone else is happy with other people are whole.
And when he least expects it… dark green steps. They nearly blended into the foliage. After a sheepish moment of blinking and processing he followed them. Watching the fresh glow of steps he’s never seen before. It confused him. It didn’t seem real. So… he remains as calm as he could following steps he never thought he’d see.
Waiting for him… a person he would never expect to fill the void.
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my-random-mdzs-thoughts ¡ 2 years ago
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Okay so I love Lan Wangji having autism and it is a interesting concept with Wei Wuxian having adhd...but consider Wei Wuxian having autism as well? I have hav autism myself and live with two others on the spectrum in a protected roommate situation.
Some of us heard a lot that Wei Wuxian has been thrown at his head. One of them heard the "you always smile, how are you fine with so much?" kinda stuff...two of us have masked really heavily and are now slowly able to get out of it.
For exemple the note taking thing of Wei Wuxian, looks the exact same as my mess of notes. I understand them and they look ascetically pleasing to me! Others just see a mess...*shrugs*
I have more examples but my brain won't let me put them into words...so..uh...yeah
Obviously I know that one or some small things doesn't diagnose someone but I just liked the thought and couldn't put it away without writing about it.
So this is just funny brainworms! :D
He could also habe adhd and some autism mixed with that. We had someone like that in the place that I stay at. And I went full on Lan Wangji on the dude. XD
Or one of tge other autistic people with me sleeps like Lan Wangji at 9pm lights out and I have the mess of a sleep schedule of Wei Wuxian...if not worse...but when it comes to rules I'm more like Lan Wangji and they are more like Wei Wuxian...so...no autistic person is the same and that is always interesting to figure out the differences.
...I'm gonna stop now before I start rambling more tgan I already have.
(Remember this is just funny brainworms, don't come for me. I'm fragile.)
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taegyuun ¡ 4 years ago
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enhypen finding out you have a crush on them
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genre: fluff
pairing: enhypen x reader
word count: 1k+
warnings: swearing probs
request: hi, angel. first of all, i'm sending you positive vibes. thank you for being a great person for all of us 🥺. a literal angel. and can i please request enhypen finding out that to you habe a crush on them, like how would they act when they find out. - final note, don't forget to drink water and take a break whenever you feel like it. there is nothing wrong with taking a break from everything. the most important thing is your health at the end of the day. stay safe, angel. ❤️
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♡ — LEE HEESEUNG
so hes liked you for a while right
and he had this whole idea of asking you out on valentine’s day or like a day or two before
he wanted to finally not be such a coward 🙄
and well bascially you ruined that plan for him LOL WHOOPS-
hes not complaining honestly hed probably be too much of a wuss to do it himself
but the second you’re like “uh i like you” he’d be like what
give him a second pls hes processing everything
once he finally DOES realise he breaks out in the biggest smile and pulls you into a nice warm hug and hes like “well you took the words out of my mouth”
super cute
rest of the boys under the cut !
♡ — JAY PARK
he acts so smug
my lord he full on smirks and hes like “i know”
and you’re like tf you mean you know
no he didn’t actually know he just wanted to seem cool
and hes like “you were so obvious” that’s like half a lie half truth you weren’t the best at concealing your feelings but it could’ve also been easily mistaken for a best friend sort of thing
and you’re oh my
so now you’re all embarrassed and what not bc he still hasn’t said anything back
but then he places a kiss on your forehead and then the top of your head and was like
“so 6pm tomorrow works for a date right?”
♡ — JAKE SIM
poor baby gets so blushy and giggly
literally cannot stop giggling like a BABY
my goddess hes bright red it’s so cute
you’re like oh no have i broken him
yes, yes you have
tbh he probably wouldn’t believe you at first and would be like “wait sorry did i hear that right??” and he’ll probably force you to say it again bc hes sure his ears have mistaken him
and you’re like “yeah i like you”
so that’s when his brain finally renders what is going on so he’s like “hELL YEAH !!!”
runs up to you and just hugs you tighter than before
probably wants to kiss you but doesn’t want to seem too forward LOL
so pls kiss him first and watch him m e l t
♡ — PARK SUNGHOON
right i love sunghoon with all my might but this kid confuses me tbh
i always struggle writing for him a bit more i feel like he’s a hard nut to crack but it makes it even more exciting
what i can imagine him doing tho after you confess is just shyly stare at the ground for a few mins while you’re anxiously waiting for a response
his cheeks and tips of his ears definitely heat up quite a bit
he smiles SO BASHFULLY !!!
or if you’ve made it sound like a serious talk he’ll be looking down at the ground all worried or smth that hes done smth wrong
and when he hears your confession his head springs up so quickly and he looks at you with such excitement in his eyes and hes like “really??”
kisses your head after the confession but decides to be annoying and be like “god you’re so obsessed with me,,,, thank god i’m obsessed with you too” <3
♡ — KIM SUNOO
BABY WILL BE SO HAPPY AWWWW
hed be blushing and smiling so widely like that pretty whisker smile he does omg i love him
and he’d be like “no way !!! we can do face masks all the time together now :(((“
hed be so blushy and jtiejdjwjfjs
like all i can imagine is him just being super happy and excited
probably grabs your hand or smth and is like “EVERYONE !!!!! ME AND y/n ARE NOW DATING !!!” has to announce it to the whole world
kisses your cheek with the most delight
the boy is literally so happy it’s unreal <3
probably gushes over you constantly to the boys before your confession and they’re all like “my god finally” but now they have to deal with the cute love talk and they’re like “oh my god no” but they’re secretly all super happy for you two :((
♡ — YANG JUNGWON
“what”
LMFAOOO hed be so confused
you’re like “hey uh i have something to tell you,,,, i like you” or whatever and hed be like “oh yeah that’s cool,,,, wait what?” like he just processed it as a “you’re a cool friend” but then the way you said it got him thinking
and then he starts interrogating you like “wait so you like like me???” and you’re nodding like oh no have i done the wrong thing
and then he chuckles and bLUSHES and hes like “well you kinda took my plan of confessing but hey it worked out”
probably stands there for a few seconds trying to figure out what now
but in the end just ends up squeezing you into a tight hug and hes like “i like you too... a lot actually” muttering into your hair :((
walks out the room with your hands interlaced AWWWW
♡ — NISHIMURA RIKI
mr. nishimura had this whole plan of asking you to be his valentine through minecraft
he built a wholeass teddy bear with fireworks and everything
it was a great plan what can i say
he was acting a bit odd bc everytime you came into the room hed be like “nO GO AWAY YOU CANT SEE THIS !!” so you were like oh dear what have i done
but one day he randomly messages you and hes like “come over i have smth i want to show u” so you obviously come over and see it as your chance to tell him your feelings
in the end you two end up speaking ah the same time and it all came out like a jumbled mess BUT you both got the message and now you’re both BRIGHT RED and hes like come here i want to show you what i’ve built SO YOURE GOIGN THROUGH THR WORLD
fireWORKS EVERYWHERE ITS SOBCITE
agter it all you two just play mc all day and fall asleep next to each other :((
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myrfing ¡ 3 years ago
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not very established/final but closing thoughts about endwalker and ffxiv in general. immense msq spoilers ahead of courase
ok there were a lot of things I didn't care about and then a lot of things I cared immensely about and so in my first walk catharsis addled brain I will elect to mostly weigh the things I care about and uh those things were. incredible. there were moments while playing where I thought "this is great but maybe not my favorite overall" (which I was okay with, I never worried about whether or not EW would "measure up" or anything) and then that finale swept me up and hit me in the guts multiple times zenos style so what can I say.
My absolute favorite things:
1. Getting to meet Venat/Hydaelyn eye to eye and thank her and tell her YES it was all worth it and that the world is beautiful. and how it is emphasized she has always walked with you. is my god lady creepy and/or wet. I CANNOT SAY HOW MUCH EVERTHING ABOUT HER MEANS TO ME and I'm going to miss her so much. also she's just fucking cool
2. THE FINAL AREA especially getting to know the dragons/omega deal up close. and this whole area's theme of emptiness and suffocating sorrow but even in each of these ghosts you could feel a faint glimmer of the things that made them beings that could be hurt in the first place because of how human they were. their curiosity or love or fear or doubt. also it really sunk it in how you really cannot save everyone and everything and yet you still have to just acknowledge all these things that are totally lost and keep going. but also just by having witnessed them even in their final and most despairing hours you kind of carry them with you for every happiness that you find then onward. by the way I thought the OTHER COSMOS i.e. omega's origins were not going to be touched upon in this expac and thought they would save it for whatever comes next so imagine my fucking surprise. also can I say the music building up from a disorienting ambiance and then there's a wind to carry the song and then everyone else and it turns into one of the best themes in the game I CANNOTTTTTTT STRESS how deeply I marveled when I realized what was happening
3. Getting to explore and meet new characters HAHAHEA. Thavnair is absolutely beautiful and getting to finally...LIKE. SEEING HOW MUCH LOVE WAS PUT INTO ELABORATING ON HOW PEOPLE LIVED AND WHAT THEY DID DAY TO DAY AND WHAT MATTERED TO THEM even garlemald who I feel...no less general dislike towards I absolutely ate that shit up. i just wanted to know everything about this world they made. AND WITH EACH EXPAC I AM SATED I will say I think the Sharlayan portions are some of the weakest in the expac but even then there were a lot of things I loved about it as well and I'm very glad we finally get to know where so many of our beloved characters are from. The environment designers outdid themselves again also; there were multiple moments where I just stopped to behold...the skybox the dirt on the ground the rise of ridges and EVERYTHINGGG
4. i habe to mention the wol treats. seeing your wol do stuff. now when does that ever get old. re: Gourd specifically like I wanted he's the most human he's ever been and getting to see him make certain choices or be happy or elect to be close to others and also be angry and sad and to offer his heart and to have people offer this back and wish for his happiness I DID NOT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE TO LOVE THE WOL MORE
5. A lot of the ways I interpreted things were validated LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO YES I ENJOY THE VINDICATION. I'm happy hermes existed. & yes he was a megavegan overthinker destroyer of worlds but the fact that there were imperfections and that the ancients were really just....exactly human but lifted by their magic capability and resulting sense of duty and purpose. I'm happy that even back then someone said "who are we to judge if other people are worthy of existence" and—EVEN though it is unmistakably a devastating and tragic end—brought the whole thing crumbling down. I'm glad that emet-selch made it clear if it were his choice he would never have given up and that he would always have that fierce narrowminded devotion to his people but that he could not reconcile it with the way he connected to mortals still especially in his ever growing loneliness and guilt and longing. im happy hythlodaeus humored me and remembered me and was such an openhearted friend & well we will find out more about baby elidibus but *pointing* he looks like how I .
There were again a lot of moments where I felt disconnected to the values or narrative presented because of Who I Am & What I Think aka my little opinions but even then I think it was worth seeing. i do not believe in sacrifice and suffering as heavily as the writers do, I don't believe that your pain always means you should come out stronger nor do I imply that people are weak or unworthy for not being so, and I'm too like shit-hearted to be wholly on board for the themes of complete absolution and acceptance and whatnot that they wanted to get across here. a lot of the garlemald and even to some extent the idyllic elpis portions predictably (if you've listened at all to my rambling on twitter in the past 2 years LMFAO) annoyed me the exact way you & I would think they would. everyone knows I don't care about zenos, and I hate the special attention afforded to hades in the sense that I would have been much happier if he was treated as just another person you'd naturally remember on your journey in all the good and bad and not as someone so important to my wol. and these dudes took up a LOT of runtime.
...but also I was kind of at peace with that? And it did help that I do let up/consider it out of place to sit too heavily on my judgements when something is...already dead, the way garlemald kind of is, the way the ancients are, the way all those old civilizations are. So I was still enjoying myself even in those moments. the way I think about certain things will always be different from the xiv writers in particular but there are still points where what they mean not only gets across to me vividly and clearly but I can also acknowledge they wrote it trying to struggle to come to an answer themselves. & I'm glad so many people so wholeheartedly love this game and that we read this story and become invested in it and hope for it openly and appreciate it without undue reservation because I don't think it would be possible for anyone to write a story like this if they did not know it would be received thus.
errr yeag. I've said this about very few works but I genuinely think xiv is a masterpiece. maybe with far more polish towards the end but the entirety of it has been an honor to know and I would not cut a single fucking potion out you know me I've loved it since I was dying to shitty little tube rats in la noscea with ruin and because of my utter fascination with the universe...like just for having loved this game I feel rewarded. so thank you 2 CREATIVE BUSINESS UNIT III LMFAOOO I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE STILL RUNNING WITH THIS NAME LEGENDS ONLY
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charanteleclerc ¡ 5 years ago
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for better, for worse (til death do us part)
2019
He could hear the stunned gasps and whispers as he walked through the Paddock. The cold metal rested on his finger, still unfamiliar. He smiled to himself, touching his ring gently. He knew they’d taken their time in finally getting married - not through lack of trying on his part though. Jenson had never really been one to settle down, and when he’d proposed to Jenson five years ago, Jenson had literally done a runner. Admittedly only for a few hours, and he’d been very apologetic about it, but he’d been careful not to mention any plans of commitment again. Not until Jenson brought it up himself.
“Hey man.” Lewis walked up, smirking. “He finally asked?”
“Finally.” Seb agreed, grinning. “It only took me nine years to pin him down.”
“Are you going to let everyone in on the secret?” Lewis asked, making a face at the people around them. “Press release? Instagram post?”
Seb shook his head. “Still like my privacy. They’ll figure it out finally, but they haven’t found out yet. We want to keep it like that.”
“Even Jenson?” Lewis asked, watching Seb carefully. “Seriously?”
Seb shrugged. “He knows how much it means to me. And we agreed that we’ll tell people when I retire, and not surrounded by all of this.”
“Well, congrats anyway.” Lewis clapped him on the back, walking away. “And tell him that he owes me for not inviting me!”
“Tell him yourself!” Seb called back, shaking his head. He touched his ring again, still amazed and overwhelmed at the thought of it being there, on his finger. A reminder of how lucky he was.
~*~
2011
“Hey.” Jenson snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around Seb’s waist. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” Seb grinned, but he wriggled out of Jenson’s loose grasp, turning to face the other man.” Not going to be missed?”
“Not for a little bit.” Jenson leant in to give him a quick kiss, frowning when Seb stiffened, just a little. “What’s wrong?”
“Just… not here.” Seb pleaded. “There’s too many people.”
He could see the hurt that flickered over Jenson’s face, and then it was gone, one of his camera smiles in place. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Go and enjoy your party, I’ll see you later.”
“Jenson -”
“Yes, Sebastian?” The use of his full name made him flinch, like he was being scolded. Jenson’s expression softened slightly, but Seb didn’t see it.
“Your room or mine?”
“I’ll let you decide.” Jenson said, ducking out of the room. Seb watched him go, his chest feeling tight. No, not his chest, his heart. He wanted nothing more in this moment to chase Jenson down, without worrying about whoever was watching, or what they would think. But it had taken him so long to get to where he was, and he’d constructed those barriers around his life for a reason. Jenson would see that, he had to.
~*~
Seb stumbled into his hotel room, shutting the door too loudly. Someone groaned from the bed, throwing a pillow his way. “Could you be much louder?”
“Sorry.” Seb snickered, crawling into bed, pressing a kiss to Jenson’s cheek. “Was not sure you would be here.”
“I did think about it.” Jenson yawned. “But it’s your day. Didn’t wanna ruin it.”
“Ich habe dich vermisst.” Seb murmured. “Wait, shit, not english. I missed you. Tonight. Kept looking for you.”
“Figured you wanted to celebrate with your team, not your boyfriend.” Jenson could hear the bitter tone in his voice, and he tried to stop it. He didn’t want to have this conversation with Seb whilst he was drunk. Seb was an emotional person at the best of times, it was going to be a hard enough conversation without trying to calm Seb down. “What time is it?”
“Uh, do not know.” Seb sounded a little sharper, a little bit more with it. “What do you mean, you did not think I did not want to celebrate with you? Of course I wanted to celebrate with you, dummkopf.”
“You wanted to celebrate with me as a friend. Not as your boyfriend.” Jenson snapped. “It’s like you’re embarrassed by me, or terrified. I just want to be able to hold your bloody hand in public and you can’t even stand to be in a three foot area around me sometimes!”
Seb stared at him, swaying a little. Christ, he hadn’t wanted to do this with Seb drunk, and now all Seb was going to remember of his second Championship win was going to be this argument. Great.
“Jenson -” Seb started, breaking off and running a hand through his damp hair. “Ja, I’m scared. I’m very scared. And I do not want it to be the rest of my career. I do not want to be doing well for a gay driver, all of my wins nutzlos - I mean useless. I do not want to be great despite me being gay. Ich will to just be gut.” He stood up, a little wobbly, but he stopped Jenson from helping him, a strange look on his face. “I am going to sleep elsewhere I think.”
“Seb, I…” Jenson trailed off, not sure what to say. Seb shook his head, heading for the door.
“Tomorrow, ja? We will talk tomorrow.”
The door swung shut, and Jenson was left in a silent room, wishing that he could turn back the clock ten minutes.
~*~
Seb looked grumpy when Jenson next saw him. Grumpy and hungover. He stomped towards Jenson, sunglasses on and his mouth curved downwards.
“Afternoon.” Jenson tried, watching Seb’s frown deepen. “How’s the head?”
“Fine.” Seb muttered. “How’s your brain?”
“Fine.”
“Ah, that's right. You don’t have one.” Seb said sarcastically. “I mean, who picks a fight with their boyfriend right after they win the world championship? Give it up for Mr Jenson Button, everyone!”
“I’m sorry for that, you know.”
“Good. You should be.” Seb sniffed. “Make it quick, I have stuff to do and there’s no point dragging it out.”
Jenson frowned. “Dragging what out?”
“Breaking up with me. I just didn’t want you do it last night, I was selfish enough to give myself a night to pretend.”
“I’m not breaking up with you Seb. Is that what you want?” Jenson asked, trying to ignore the cold feeling creeping into his chest. Seb couldn’t mean it, could he?”
“Not, but… it might be easier. You obviously want to tell everyone, and I can’t. I just can’t.” Seb got out, voice cracking towards the end. “Please don’t ask me to.”
Jenson reached out, resting his hand against Seb’s cheek, watching the other man lean into his touch without even thinking about it. “Then I won’t. You’re more important to me than telling people, I don’t want to walk away from this. From you. So we’ll wait until you’re ready.”
“What if that’s never?” Seb whispered.
“Then it’ll be never. We’ll work on it, figure out ways to be in public without being together. But we’ll figure it out together, okay? Together.”
“Okay.” Seb nodded, grabbing onto Jenson’s shirt tightly. “Okay.”
~*~
2019
“So it’s true? You really got married?” Charles looked stunned when he saw the ring on his finger, eyes going wide. “But you’ve never even brought her to a race!”
Seb shrugged, trying not to laugh at the wide-eyed innocence Charles was showing. “Work life and private life separate. I wouldn’t take my partner to work if I worked in an office, or on a building site. Why do it here?”
Charles nodded slowly, still looking astonished. “Well, congratulations. She’s very lucky. You should bring her along sometime though. She must be interested to see what a weekend is like! Maybe you could swap jobs for a day, no? What does she do?”
“They’re a… journalist.” Seb landed on. What else could be say? Commentator? Racer? Retired? Journalist was vague enough. The others would raise more questions. “Sports journalist. Travels a lot.”
“Oh wow… that sounds pretty cool, non?” But I understand now, if she’s a sports journalist. No favourites.” Charles looked pleased that he’d figured it out so quickly, he really didn’t like to think how he would look when the story eventually broke that it was Jenson, not some unnamed sports journalist. “Congratulations again, though!”
“Danke.” Seb called after Charles’s retreating back, trying to fight down that laughter again, and a strange feeling of guilt.
~*~
2016
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Seb asked, stirring milk into the mugs. Jenson was sat at the kitchen table, looking unusually serious for him. “You could stay, if you wanted. McLaren wouldn’t object.”
“Seb, I’m getting old. Don’t make that noise -” He said, cutting through Seb’s protests. “In our job, yes it is. I’m thirty-six. I can’t keep doing this much longer. And it’s selfish! I’m holding on too long, there are kids out there that are much quicker than me and you know it. I shouldn’t deny them their chance just because I don’t want to leave.”
“But they’re kids.” Seb muttered, placing a tea in front of his boyfriend. “They’ll have their chance.”
“And how old were you when you won a race?” Jenson raised an eyebrow, watching Seb blush a little. “You know it as well as I do, I shouldn’t be there anymore. Not as a driver.”
They fell into silence, Seb tapping at his mug. Jenson sat back, sipping his tea, watching the emotions play out across Seb’s face as he argued with himself in his head. It was amazing to see Seb rationalise things by himself now, watching him work it out, all the problems and solutions laid out in front of him. Seb hadn’t exactly grown up since they’d started dating, six years ago now, but he’d become more sure of himself. The confidence was still there, less cocky. He was a natural leader, but he realised now when he was pushing too hard. He wasn’t as highly-strung anymore, less likely to put all the blame on himself when things didn’t go his way. Watching him deal with this, a decision that was not his but affected him anyway, and so calmly. It was amazing.
“You’re staring.” Seb broke him from his thinking, smiling crookedly. “Nice daydream?”
“Lovely, thanks.” Jenson yawned, stretching. “You done processing?”
“Yeah, I suppose you’d better let those kids have their fun. Better them show Fernando up, I guess.”
“The day Fernando gets shown up is the day I lose faith in the sport.” Jenson grinned. “I mean, except you, of course.”
“Damn straight.” Seb grinned, kicking Jenson lightly under the table. “I mean, I’ve got to be on my toes now, with these fast kids of yours showing up.”
“You show them who’s boss.” Jenson agreed. “Thank you. For understanding.”
“Well, I could do with a retired boyfriend at home, he could do the laundry, clean - oi!” Seb yelped as Jenson kicked his shin. “What, it’d be a great job for you!”
~*~
2019
“Will I need to do any damage control this weekend?” Britta asked him, skipping past unnecessary niceties. “I just need to know before.”
Seb shook his head, digging his head into his pocket. “You could’ve asked me last week.”
“It was your big day.” She gives him a kind smile. “You may be a workaholic but I’m certainly not.”
“Yeah, okay.” Seb rolled his eyes. “No, no damage control. We’re not announcing it.”
If Britta was surprised by that, she didn’t show it, just giving a nod and typing something on her phone. He appreciated it, knowing that no-one else was going to give him any breathing space this weekend. After Canada, and then turning up married? He was surprised Ferrari hadn’t shoved him out to do a press conference the minute he’d arrived in the Paddock.
“I think Mattia wants you to give a statement.” Britta said, eerily answering his thoughts. He’d long given up any suspicion of mind-control, putting it down to the fact that he’d spent more time with her than anyone else this last decade. “Probably soon. Don’t say anything that’ll make my job harder.”
“I’ll try not to.” Seb winked as he left, pretending not to hear Britta huffing behind him. She’d forgive him in an hour.
~*~
2019 (Ten days ago)
The plane ride home was quiet. Seb had kept his headphones on since he’d left the hotel, not speaking to him or Britta or anyone since last night. They normally took different planes home, he usually detoured via Monaco or London, but he really didn’t want to leave Seb alone today. Seb would have the dogs for company, but he knew his boyfriend too well. Seb would pour over every little detail, churning over every corner in his mind until it drove him insane.
He watched as Seb clenched his hands around the steering wheel, knuckles white. He sighed, tapping a hand against his leg. Seb stiffened a bit, shuffling a little. “Jenson.”
“Sorry.” He stopped, putting his hands up a little. “Sorry.” 
Seb shook his head, clenching his jaw. “I shouldn’t snap.”
“Seb, I could see from a mile away that you’re tense. You haven’t said a word since we left Montréal. I’m surprised you haven’t snapped before this.”
“I still shouldn’t.”
“You’re human.” Jenson said gently. “I know you too well, I know what you’re probably thinking.”
Seb scoffed. “Doubt it.”
“Try me.”
Seb was silent for a moment, almost as if he hadn’t heard him. Jenson waited, knowing Seb would talk when he was ready. “I’m so angry.” Seb started. “I’m so fucking angry. At myself, at the team, at Lewis, at fucking Mercedes. I wish I could’ve just punched someone in the face, or that I’d gone and screamed at the stewards. I wish I could’ve screamed at them until I was hoarse. I wish I could go back in time and not go off at that corner.” Seb took a deep breath, looking pale. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“That’s okay.” Jenson said simply. “We’ll not think together, if that’s okay?”
“That’s okay.” Seb replied tiredly. “Danke.”
Jenson smiled to himself, turning to look outside, watching the world disappear past him. The world could wait for them to breathe.
~*~
“Okay, but if I was supposed to cook, my cooking would not turn out like this.” Seb was looking at what was supposed to be their dinner. It was more than a little burnt, smoke still rising off one of the corners. “That was supposed to be lasagne. That is not lasagne.”
“I still can’t understand how you’re so bad at this.” Jenson snickered, dodging a slap with a tea-towel. “What? It’s true!”
“Look at me, I’m heartbroken.”
“Heartbroken shmeartbroken. I think you just wanted an excuse for a takeaway.”
“I’m offended.” Seb tried to look upset, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. “I’d never do that.”
“Course not.” Jenson grinned, giving Seb a quick kiss before picking up the burnt pasta and shoving it in the bin. “Go choose something.”
“Love you.” Seb smiled wickedly. “That was not an admission of guilt though.”
“Uhuh.” Jenson chuckled. “Don’t believe that!”
He started to clean out the dish, pouring in enough washing liquid to clean a car. Seb crept back in, winding his arms around Jenson’s waist, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.
“Does pizza sound good?”
“Sure.” Jenson twisted, drying his hands. “You wanna call, you know what I’ll have.”
“In a minute.” Seb said, tilting his head up for a kiss. “Happy here.”
Jenson looked down at him, at the lazy, contented smirk on his face, and he couldn’t believe how quickly Seb had put the bad race behind him. He’ll say later that he just couldn’t help himself, but it wasn’t that. He’d been turning it over in his mind for some months now, and he’d meant to ask properly, not standing in their kitchen with the smell of burnt lasagne in the air, but it was actually perfect for them.
“Seb -” He started, struggling to get the words out. “Seb, marry me.”
He saw that happy look slide right off Seb’s face, replaced with blank shock. “Was?”
“I mean it.” Jenson said hurriedly. “I know I panicked when you asked, but I’ve been thinking about it properly. It doesn’t scare me anymore, not with you. Seb, please marry me.”
“Ich…” Seb trailed off, blinking. “Uh, ja. I mean, yes. Of course yes.”
Jenson let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, pulling Seb in for a kiss. When they pulled back, slightly breathless, Seb started laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I just can’t believe that you actually asked me!” Seb chuckled, trying to calm himself down. “I’d just gotten used to the idea we never would.”
“Sorry I kept you waiting.”
“Worth it.” Seb grinned. “Completely worth it.”
“I was so worried you were going to say no on principle.” Jenson admitted. “Completely and utterly terrified.”
“I would never. I’d marry you right now, if I could.”
“Really?”
Seb nodded. “I want to marry you as quickly as possible, I’ve been waiting five years.”
“What about the weekend?” Jenson said. “I mean, do you want a big wedding?”
“Not at all.” Seb made a face. “Are you sure? It’s not just my decision here.”
“This weekend seems too far away.” Jenson sad, watching Seb’s face relax. “We are going to order pizza, and we are going to brainstorm, and call people to tell them, and we’ll get married this weekend. Sound like a plan?”
“Sounds perfect.” Seb smiled, giving Jenson a soft kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
~*~
2019
“Sebastian, we can all see the ring on your finger. Can we take it as confirmation that you’re now married?”
“Yes, I was married last weekend. My partner and I are very happy, but we would like privacy as well.”
“Can you give us anything? Name, age, occupation? As no-one even knew that you were seeing anyone.”
Seb gave a small laugh, managing not to roll his eyes. “I like to keep my private life private. I see no need to advertise anything about my life away from the Paddock, and I do not intend to start now. We’re very happy, we had the wedding we wanted, surrounded by our families and friends.”
“But -” The journalist tried again, but Seb cut her off.
“I’m not going to speak about my personal life anymore.” He said, making sure she knew he was annoyed now. “So, last race?”
~*~
2025
He stepped out of the car, listening to the noise of the crowd, cheering for him one last time. He could stay here forever, in this little bubble of time, where this was still his world. From tomorrow he’d only be a visitor, watching in through the glass. He wanted to turn back, tell the team he’d made a mistake, he wanted to stay. He didn’t want to go.
He made it through the weighing, and almost all the way to the media pen before he started crying. Jenson was waiting for him, microphone in hand, looking around for him.
He rubbed away the tears, giving a small thankful smile at Britta as she handed him a towel. He took a couple of deep breaths, hiding his face until he knew he was composed again.
“Danke, Britta.” He whispered, giving her a tight hug. “For everything.”
“It was my pleasure.” She whispered back, ruffling his hair. “Go on, he’s waiting.”
He nodded, walking towards the pen, heading straight for Jenson. Jenson grinned, holding out his mic.
“Sebastian Vettel. You did it, you’ve finally retired. It took you a while, how are you feeling now?”
“Well, I am stubborn.” Seb teased. “Overwhelmed, mostly. Feeling too much.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“Uh, not sure, in the long term. Maybe commentating, like you? I don’t know. I do know, however, that I’m going to go home to my dogs and my husband, and fall into bed for a while.”
People around him became quiet, looking at him confused. Jenson just continued to smile, winking. “Oh?”
Seb bit back the tears, wiping the stray one away with his hand, smiling at his husband. “Yeah, I think so. We might even go on holiday, I think he deserves it.”
“Does he?”
“He deserves the world.” Seb pushed himself up, jumping over the barrier. “He deserves everything and more.”
The media pen was silent, everyone focused on what was happening before them. Jenson raised an eyebrow, a silent ‘are you sure?’
“I’m sure.”
“I’m so proud of you.” Was all Jenson said, and then his hands were on Seb’s face, pulling him up for a kiss. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Seb whispered, jumping a little, Jenson catching him. He wrapped his legs around Jenson’s waist, resting his forehead against his husband’s. “We did it.”
“So what was it you saying about home and bed?” Jenson teased. “Or shall we give them a show?”
“They’re having a show of a lifetime.” Seb muttered, kissing Jenson again. “Let them stare.”
“Kinky.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
“Okay.” Seb grinned, watching Jenson as his husband’s brain stopped for a second. “See?”
“You’re a little shit sometimes.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
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bma-2020 ¡ 5 years ago
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Nica the Pirate
Makkazzar belongs to @bahadir-wintergreen !
Note: This has German bits in it. It’s my very first RP. Don’t read that ‘:D
It was a lazy, hot day. Makk didn´t have to work and spent his free time on the boat, doing what he liked most….Chilling.
Since Freya was back, everything was well again and things got slowly normal again.
The blue man was sitting comfortably in a deck chair under a sunshade, his fishing rod was fixed sloppily with his foot. Anyways, no fish had taken the bait since now and they probably wouldn´t. So Makk started to doze off, lulled to sleep by the smooth sounds of the waves, that sloshed softly at the ship´s side.
Nica had been swimming for 8 hours straight and was feeling dizzy. The gulf stream was something entirely new for her and although she enjoyed the warm temperatures, it hadn’t been as much fun as she’d had expected. Small as she was, it was easy to get pushed around by a swarm of gay dolphins. She tried to bite them in return, but had no luck with that. Cursing her bad luck on her quest to find some pirates, she tried to find her way back into the stream when something was catching her eye. A snack! Thoughtlessly taking a bite she immediately felt something famillar pinch through her upper lip. Oh, not again! She was on someones hook! Well, this could be solved in two ways usually:  eat the angler or get eaten by the angler. Well, she was feeling pretty hungry. Time to fish an angler.
Makk startled, when he felt the fishing line moving. It moved heavily and Makk jumped up, grabbing the landing net. It seemed to be a big fish, the way how strong it teared at the line. Makk struggled heavily, he pulled and pulled until the fishing rod bended at it´s edge and was nearly on the rocks. Finally the blue man was able, to lift the fish over the ship´s side. Getting aware, what he had caught, the blue man´s eyes widened in surprise.
"Was zum Teufel,…Verdammte Axt!" …Oh damn, there it was again. Since Makk had left the fairy land, it sometimes happened, that he spoke in a language, he didn´t know….and the strangest thing was, he had never learned to speak…that was absolutely odd!
Curiously, Makk looked at the fish, he had just caught. It looked familar, bur not like the fish, that were located in the lake or in the river.
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"Parley! Parley! Ich berufe mich auf den Piratenkodex! Iss mich nicht!” Nica cried, aimlessly twisting in the mans grip. Anxiously blinking when she found herself still alive after a few seconds, she dared to glance up at the figure in front of her, which seemed to be even more surprised about the unusual prey than she was about somebody being able to ground her. After trying and failing to bite her captor, something more than her survival instinct came up in her mind, though. Feeling weirdly safe at the sight of blue skin and familiar cursing words in her mother tongue, Nica finally got the slight impression that, just maybe, this guy didn’t mean her any harm, and stopped twisting. It didn’t frighten her captor anyway and was just spinning her around the fishing line, making her feel even more dizzy than before. “Okay, ich glaube, ich bin vom Kurs abgekommen. Wo bin ich hier gelandet?” she asked, unintentionally taking a look around. This was no fishing boat, but from the looks of it, this wasn’t a freight ship, either. Could it be that her dreams had come true this early on her quest? Gasping, she glanced back at her captor. “Moment! Bist du … ein Pirat?”
"Parlez? Parlez? Parlez vous francais?!" Makk said puzzled, “Piratenkodex? Sag mal wovon redest du denn da…Bin gar kein Pirat.”
How strange. The fish talked in the same language, he did. But what kind of language was it?  And since the fish came surely from his planet, Makk didn´t want to kill it.
"Oh Mann, wart mal," the blue man removed carefully the hook from the fish´s mouth and looked for a bucket, " Will dir bloß helfen, beiß mich bloß nicht."
The blue man placed the fish on deck and reached for the water-filled tub, he usually put the caught fish in…fortunatelly, he hadn´t caught something so far, besides this one fish.
"Du bist ein Minion-Fisch, nicht wahr?" Makk asked curiously, after he had set the little being back into water.
"Aye, Käptn!" Nica said happily. “Es ist schon so lange her, dass ich einen von Euch gesehen habe, ich habe Euch kaum wiedererkannt.” She was jumping up and down in her little bucket, shaking it dangerously. Nica became suddenly aware of the restrictions of her new precious metal tub, especially as she spotted a seagull sitting on the rail of the ship. “Ich wusste, ich war nicht die Einzige.” she continued nevertheless, eyes still fixed on the hungry looking seagull. “Gibt es hier viele Minionfische?”
"Haha, Käptn,….jaaa, ich bin hier der Kapitän. Das Schiff ist nämlich meins, weiste? Tja, ich bin ein blauer Mann und bin vor knapp einem Jahr hier auf der Erde gelandet…und jetzt…schau mich an! Ich hab ein Schiff! Na ja, ist eigentlcih ein Hausboot. Ich lebe hier mit meiner Verlobten Freya. Außerdem lebt hier noch Maurice, der Kater, der uns die Ratten vom Hals hält und Freyas Riesenhummel Alfrigg. Aber musst keine Angst haben vor denen….die tun nix. Ich schwör! Honest injun!” Makk put his hands at the sides of the bucket to avoid, that it upsetted,
"Und ja, hier gibts noch andere Minion-Fische. Die ganzen Megamind Versionen haben einen, na ja, die meisten….Ich nicht, bin ja auch ein Individuum und kein Megamind….Und die Fische heißen alle Minion…echt kreativ, findest du nicht? Wie ist denn dein Name? Ich heiße Makkazzar, kannst mich aber Makk nennen."
"Käptn Makk", Nica tried. It wasn’t too difficult to remember. "Ich dachte mir schon, dass ich ein paar Artgenossen auf dem Weg hierher gerochen habe, aber ich wollte mir keine falschen Hoffnungen machen. This will have to wait, though. Es ist eine Schande, dass ihr mit einem solch prächtigen Schiff nicht in See stecht. Boats and fish shouldn’t get grounded, captain. Guckt euch das Elend an, diese Möwe wird mich jede Sekunde fressen und ich kann nichts dagegen tun. It’s about the same for the ship. Himmel, what’s up with my language? Since when can I speak English?” she asked, this time moving so fast from the right to the left that the bucket had been knocked over for sure if it weren’t for Makkazzar stabilizing it. “The antenna is doing weird stuff again. I think it disturbed my course, too. Das sieht nämlich nicht aus wie die Karibik. My name’s Nica, by the way. Be sure to spell it right on my tombstone, it’s N-I-C-A. And my head is killing me. Please don’t write that, though, it should say something way cooler. ‘Eaten by a shark’ or something. Make something up, okay?”
"Hey, hey, Ich werd nicht zulassen, das dich die Möwen fressen,…uhhh…I won´t let the seagully eat you, I promise," Makk said preventively in english, “It seems as if you have the same problem like me. I could suddenly speak this language, after I left the fairy…well a pretty weird place. But I think, in your case, there might be something wrong with your antenna. May I take a look?"
Makk carefully got closer. “By the way, what kind of language is it?”
"Das ist Deutsch - German - waaah!” Nica cried in frustration, unable to get a grip of the situation. Her eyes were shut now and her brows furrowed. “Okay, okay.” She didn’t know if this guy had any idea what he was about to do or was wrong with her, but it wouldn’t hurt to feed him some more information before he touched an antenna directly connected to her brain. “Little crash course about how to treat Minionfish: We’re empathic georgeous creatures. Well, ich zumindest. Sometimes I think the antenna is increasing my abilities. Maybe it’s trying to adjust me to your speech pattern and gets messed up because your speech pattern is messed up? No offense. Was hast du dir da eingefangen? Oh, ich glaube, es wird wieder! Yeah … nein … just one moment … nope. Okay, Versuch dein Glück.” She prayed he had any clue about what he was about to do, closing her eyes shut in surrender.
"Oh, well, I don´t think, that my language problem connected with yours, because mine has a,…uh well…kind of magical reason….and I can control it," Makk said soothingly, “I guess, your problem is more a technical one. Maybe, I can fix it, but I can´t promise anything. I just need to look up some things. Are you able, to hold on a few time?" Makk wanted to get his tablet. His culture didn´t had Minion-fish as servants, so he knew only a little about them. But there must be a lot of information on his tablet, especially about the Minon-fish implants. And as Makk was pretty intelligent concerning technical stuff, he was sure, he could fix it.
"Ok, keep calm and don´t move….beweg dich nicht, relaxen, chillen und ruhig bleiben…Bin gleich zurück,…be right back," Makk rushed to the cabin, to get his tablet.
‘Keep calm, he says!’ Nica thought, panicking. She was a bundle of nerves right now. Magical reason? And didn’t he say something about fairies earlier? And a monster bumblebee? This was clearly a madman. She tried to escape, swimming and shifting her weight, causing the bucket to swing from one side to the other, but this took way longer than expected. Taking a run this way, she tried to jump over the ships rail. She’d just emigrate again. No big deal. Who wants to be a pirate. She was very okay about living as a seal. Back to the North Sea. Failing epically though, she crashed against the rail, seeing stars. Blinking her eyes open again, she heard the very familiar mew of a seagull. Well, this was just perfect.
Makk returned with his tablet and a bag with his tiniest tools. His eyes widened in panic, when he saw the little fish lying on the deck´s planks gasping for air. And a curious seagull already sat on the railing, desciding, that the fish might make a proper lunch.
"Oooohhh nooo," Makk screamed and rushed forward to shoo the bird away, “LEAVE HER ALONE! Nein, nein, nein, nein….!"
Makk placed the tablet and the tools on the deck and took Nica carefully back into the bucket.
"Oh, wow. Just in time," Makk sighted, “I´m so sorry, it´s all my fault. I should have take you with me in the cabin and I think, it´s better, if we go there now, if you don´t mind." Makk stuffed the tool bag into his pocket and took the tablet under his arm. “Is everything alright again? Alles OK? Soll ich mir die Antenne mal ansehen?”
”.. / .— .- -. - / - —- / —. —- / …. —- — .”, Nica said, but no words came out of her mouth. Instead, she felt how the escas on top of her head flamed up in a special pattern, using kind of a morse code to communicate. Her eyes widened while she tried again and again, but she was as mute as a … fish. She bared her teeth, swimming around as far as the small bucked allowed it. Looking back up at Makkazzar with a pleading look in her eyes, she concentrated on simple words to get her point across. “……-.. .—. / — .” Shaking her head in frustration and all of her body with it, she dimmed her escas to a point where they weren’t even alight at all, sinking into the bucket, hiding her fangs. She repeated her plea.
”.. / .— .- -. - / - —- / —. —- / …. —- — .”, Nica said, but no words came out of her mouth. Instead, she felt how the escas on top of her head flamed up in a special pattern, using kind of a morse code to communicate. Her eyes widened while she tried again and again, but she was as mute as a … fish. She bared her teeth, swimming around as far as the small bucked allowed it. Looking back up at Makkazzar with a pleading look in her eyes, she concentrated on simple words to get her point across. “……-.. .—. / — .”
Shaking her head in frustration and all of her body with it, she dimmed her escas to a point where they weren’t even alight at all, sinking into the bucket, hiding her fangs. She repeated her plea.
"Ohhh well, this is serious," Makk said concerned and entered the cabin together with Nica in the bucket. He placed her on the table and took his tablet, to scan, what´s wrong with the little fish and what she was saying.
"Hey, stay still! I´m not able to find out, what´s wrong with you," Makk demanded, when Nica didn´t stop to wiggle and move. The blue man guessed, that Nica was in a state of shock and mused, what he could do, to calm her down.  A little glass of booze would be the right thing in that case…But Makk hadn´t have booze on his boat since he stopped drinking. So what else he could do? The blue man looked around and finally found something. “Ah! `The spirit of Melissa´. I guess, that will help a bit.” Makk grabbed the bottle and filled a small glass with the medicine.
Nica lay still immediately when she saw the captains movement, twice lighting up all the escas she got and turning them off again, imitating the ringing ding! ding! sound to show him this was going into the right direction. She pushed all her weight on her right side till she tumbled over, then started to uselessly breath some air with her gills to make them move and get her point across.
"Uhm, mayby you need a drinking straw….if I knew, where I have one," Makk said and looked around, “I´m afraid, I don´t have one…oh well, then it has to work the other way." The blue man hold the glass above the bucket and tilted it slowly.
"Ok, Nica. Open your mouth, This is going to work miracles!" Makk lifted his brows and carefully let the liquid ran out of the glass.
Relieved, Nica breathed the medicine. Sipping out of her gills again, she felt the familiar burning it left behind. Her gills were sore now. Not used to not undiluted alcohol, she felt sleepy immediately, as she hoped she would. Smiling to Makkazzar and repeating the ding ding - flash, she lost her consciousness and fell asleep.
"Good,…Gut!" Makk said and tenderly took Nica and sat her up, taking care, that she was still under water and only her antenna poked out of the surface, “Let me see, what´s wrong."
The blue man removed carefully the cover around the antenna implant.
"Exactely what I expected: A loose cable." Makk took a tiny screwdriver, “I guess I can fix it….Hhmm, oh no, there´s something broken…I need something to repair it,…but…I don´t have any proper replacements." Makk scratched his bald head and mused. “Ohhh, I got it." Makk rushed into the bathroom and rummaged through Freya´s stuff. Finally he had found, what he had been looking for: a tiny hair pin.
"Yeah, that should do the trick," Makk walked back to the bucket and started to work on Nica´s antenna.
Nica gets wakes up from the familiar creaking of wood, finding herself back in a bucket. Blinking, she noticed it was nighttime. Not knowing where she was, her esca flared up in shock, lighting the room. Where was she? Scary things seemed everywhere and long shadows crawled up the walls. When the memory came back, she opened her mouth, unsure of what to expect.
Makk had taken care of Nica, who was still knocked out from the medicine. The “surgery” hadn´t been much difficult. A cable, that leaded from the antenna to Nica´s brain had come off and the whole thing had damaged Nica´s ability to talk. Makk had guessed, that the damage happened during the little fish´s long journey from Europe to America. Probably she had to go through some storms or had been attacked somehow. Makk had fixed it as good as he could with the help of Freya´s hair pin. This would last for some time, but Makk would need a propper replacement part, to repair it better.
It had gotten already dark and Makk had waited patiently, that Nica finally woke up. The blue man noticed a movement in the bucket and leanded curiously forward. “Hey little fish, are you ok? Alles klar? Wie geht´s dir?  Sag mal was!”
"Ich lebe! Moment - ich kann sprechen! So viel ich will! Kann ich die Sprache selber wählen? Lets test it - Ja!!” Not caring much, Nica simply jumped into Makkazzars arms, lightening up her escas like a christmas tree. “Meine Stimme! Meine wundervolle Stimme! Danke, Käpt’n!”
"Oh, ooooh, uhhh," Makk tried to hold Nica, but it wasn´t easy, because the fisch was so slippery. And the blue man never hugged a fish before.
"Na ja, ich hab mein Bestes getan und jetzt funktioniert es erstmal. Ich bräuchte allerdings ein besseres Ersatzteil, damit ich es richtig reparieren kann. ´Tschuldigung, werd wohl nochmal an dir rumwerkeln müssen, wird aber nicht schlimm, wo ich jetzt weiß, wie deine Implantate funktionieren." Makk umschloss Nica und drückte sie zärtlich. So schlimm war es gar nicht, einen Fisch zu streicheln. Die Haut war zwar schlüpferig und kühl aber ganz zart und weich. “So, ich setz dich wohl besser wieder ins Wasser. Ach übrigens, ich kann auch die Sprachen einstellen: Also du sprichst Englisch und Deutsch….Wie wärs noch mit Spanisch, Italienisch, Latein, Alt-Griechisch, Hindi….oder…Japanisch?" Makk grinste. Dank den Infos, die sein Tablet-Speicher ausgespuckt hatte, hatte Makk eine Menge über die Minion-Fische rausgefunden und auch über ihre Implantate.
"Cool, Sprachpakete!" Nica freute sich und lächelte Makkazzar entgegen. “Japanisch wär cool. Ich wollte schon immer mal da hoch - den Walen sagen, dass sie besser woanders schwimmen sollten." Sie kippte ein wenig zur Seite, während sie sprach. Allein der Gedanke wie der Golfstrom im Vergleich zum Pazifischen Ozean ein lauschiges Bächlein darstellen würde, machte sie m��de. Gut, dass ihr eine bessere Idee in den Sinn kam. “Lass uns dort hinsegeln!"
"Was denn? Hinsegeln? Jetzt sofort?" Makk hob seine Augenbrauen, “Das ist aber weit. Und ich kann mit meinem Schiff gar nicht segeln,..haha, nicht mal auf den See rausfahren kann ich auch nicht. Der Motor funktioniert nicht…Tja, ist halt ein Wohnboot. Hey, und wenn du den Walen sagen willst, dass sie nicht nach Japan schwimmen sollen, sollte ich vielleicht walisch in dein Srachpacket einspeisen, was?" Der blaue Mann stützte sein Kinn auf seine Hände uns sah Nica breit grinsend an.
"Waaalisch~" schwärmte sie. Wissend, dass sie in Sicherheit war, war sie nun kurz davor, wieder einzuschlafen und fing an, nur noch vor sich hinzumurmeln, währed sie anfing, sich in dem Eimer zu drehen und eine ‘Liegeposition’ zu finden. “Aber nicht mehr heute. Ich bin müüde. Was stimmt denn mit dem Motor nicht? Ist es der Anlasser oder… Ich kann dir bestimmt helfen ihn zu reparieren, und dann gehts auf nach Japan…." Sie gähnte herzhaft. “Verdünn das Zeug das nächste Mal." Sie schüttelt sich und versuchte den Restalkohol aus ihren Kiemen zu waschen, aber ihre Mühe war vergebens. “Hast du ein Aquarium?"
"Nein, leider nicht, aber vielleicht kann ich eins organisieren, damit du nicht immer in ´nem Eimer wohnen musst, wenn du mich besuchst," Makk lächelte sanft und betrachtete den müden, kleinen Fisch. Da hatte er wohl etwas übertrieben mit dem Melissengeist, “Schlaf ruhig ein bisschen. Ich werd nicht weggehen und auf dich aufpassen, dass hier ja keine Möwe reinkommt und dir was tut."
Makk dachte nach. Vielleicht könnte er Nica so eine Art von Anzug bauen, wie die anderen Minions hatten. So einen Roboterkörper. Der blaue Mann erinnerte sich an eine Fernsehsendung, die er mal gesehen hatte, als er noch in Ulrics und Miras Wohnung gewohnt hatte. Da hatte es seltsame Roboter gegeben und Makk überlegte, ob er nicht so einen als fahrbaren Untersatz mit einem kleinen Aquarium oben drauf bauen könnte…aber irgendwie sahen die doch recht doof aus und Makk bezweifelte, das Nica so etwas mögen würde. Na ja, ihm würde schon was einfallen. Lächend sah er zu, wie der kleine Fisch langsam eindöste. Nein, er würde schon dafür sorgen, dass Nica nichts passierte.
Nica bekam Makkazzars letzte Worte schon gar nicht mehr mit und fiel in einen erholsamen Schlaf. Als sie wieder aufwachte, war der Alkohol verflogen und die Morgensonne schien in die kleine Kabine. Die See schien ruhig und ein angenehmer Wind strich durch das geöffnete Bullauge. Sie blinzelte sich den Schlaf aus den Augen und wunderte sich, dass noch so viel Sauerstoff im Wasser war. Erschrocken erkannte sie, dass sie auch durch ihre Lungen geatmet haben musste - hoffentlich hatte sie nicht geschnacht! Peinlich berührt suchte sie nach dem Käpt’n, froh als sie diesen schlafend auf einen Tisch gelehnt vorfand. Sie gähnte, noch nicht gänzlich wach, und genoss das Schaukeln des Kutters für eine Weile. Schade, dass er nicht mehr fuhr. Sie schwor sich, das Schiff wieder auslaufen zu lassen, als Dank für Makkazzars Hilfe. Aber sie musste auch die anderen Minionfische finden … sie war ein wenig ratlos was sie zuerst machen sollte und ein Kater plagte sie - sowohl im übertragenen als auch im wörtlichen Sinne. Er schlich sich zur Tür herein und sah sie mit großen Augen an. Nica starrte unbeeindruckt zurück. Der Käpt’n hatte einen Kater erwähnt. Wie war noch gleich sein Name? Ach, egal. Mit Essen spielt man nicht. “Frühstück. Miez Miez Miez Miez Miez~”
Maurice war gerade von seinen nächtlichen Streifzügen heimgekehrt und hatte geplant, sich von Makk oder Freya ein leckeres Frühstück servieren zu lassen und sich dann auf das Hochbett zurückzuziehen, sich ausgiebig zu putzen und dann ein Schläfchen zu halten. Am frühen Nachmittag würde er dann aufstehen und sich das Mittagessen servieren lassen. Maurice liebte seine Tagesabläufe und seine Dosenöffner, bzw. seine Fischservierer…Doch was hatte Makk ihm nur heute morgen für einen Fiscj vorgesetzt? Der lebte ja noch! Und konnte sprechen! Maurice war nicht damit einverstanden. Nein! Sein Fisch hatte mausetot und ausgenommen im Freßnapf zu liegen und nicht quicklebendig in einem Eimer zu schwimmen. Sollte er den Fisch am Ende noch selbst fangen? Unerhört!
Der Kater blickte den schlafenden Makk an und sprang mit einem Satz auf den Tisch,um sich dem Eimer zu nähern.
"Miau?" Maurice rieb seinen Kopf ein paar Mal am Rand des Eimers und ging dann auf die Hinterbeine, um hineinzusehen. Der Kater war zwar hungrig, hatte aber keine Lust,  Fische zu fangen. Dazu war er momentan zu faul,…eigentlich immer….Wozu hatte man denn Menschen…oder Leute, die wie Menschen waren und sich so verhielten.
Doch den Fisch wollte dann doch näher inspizieren. Vorsichtig tauchte der Kater eine Pfote in das kßhle Wasser, um sie gleich wieder hinauszuziehen und zu schßtteln.
"Feeein" sagte Nica, als sie den Kater näherkommen sah. Sie schwamm so weit weg wie es ging, um ihn noch dichter zum Wasser zu locken. Dann tauchte sie kurz ab, und wie erhofft streckte die Katze ihre Pfote ins Wasser - ihre Chance! Sie tauchte blitzschnell wieder nach oben, erinnerte sich dann aber in letzter Sekunde, dass die Leute normalerweise an ihren Haustieren hingen, und schnappte nicht zu. Leider hatte sie aber den Anlauf schon genommen und konnte jetzt nur noch umlenken - ungelenk sackte sie also über den Rand des Eimers. Dieser schwankte gefährlich, blieb aber stehen. Jetzt auf dem Tisch liegend, sah sie den Unterarm des Käptns vor sich. Sie könnte ihn wachbeißen, aber er sah so müde aus. Er hatte anscheinend wirklich noch eine Weile Wache gehalten, bevor er schließlich doch eingeschlafen war. Gerührt beschloss Nica, dass sie ruhig noch ein paar Minuten Lungenatmung aushalten konnte.
Der Kater hatte sich hingesetzt und beobachtete Nica nun, wie sie außerhalb des Eimers nun auf dem Tisch lag. Maurice drehte den Kopf zu Makk und sah, dass dieser nich tief und fest schlief. Dann richtete er seine gelben Augen wieder auf Nica und schien plötzlich zu lächeln.
"Jaaaa,…Feeein," sagte er, “Da bin ich dann wohl doch kein gar so schlechter Angler. Jetzt muss ich nur noch warten. Und du musst wissen: Ich bin ziemlich gut im Warten. Bald schon wirst du ziemlich müde werden," Maurice fing an, seine Pfote zu lecken und sah dann wieder zu Nica. “Kein Zweifel, Wasser ist dein Element. Aber jetzt bist du raus da…Und hier an Land bin ich der King!"
Nica warf dem Vierbeiner einen kühlen Blick zu. Boah. Für was hielt sie die Katze? Einen Goldfisch? Sie musste sich sehr beherrschen, um nicht nach dem Kater zu schnappen, der irrtümlicherweise dachte, er säße außerhalb ihrer Reichweite. Keine fremden Katzen fressen, nein nein nein, erinnerte sie sich. Sie ignorierte ihn. Die Minuten verstrichen, aber die Katze ignorierte den Wink mit dem Zaunpfahl. Nica sah den Kater genervt an. “Letzte Warnung. Ich bin ziemlich hungrig und meine Geduld hat auch mal in Ende.”
"Hungrig? Oh, da sagst du was," grinste Maurice, “Ich auch. Vielleicht kann ich dir ja ein paar Breckies bringen. Oder wir warten, bis Makkazzar aufwacht und ne Dose für uns aufreißt…Oh, warte. Ich glaub, ich hab irgendwo noch ne tote Maus. Freya wundert sich schon seit Tagen, wieso es so seltsam riecht…Hehe, wenn du auf Aas stehst?"
Der Kater legte den Kopf schief und blickte Nica an.
"Hey, du sagst ja gar nichts. …Und bewegen tust du dich auch nicht…Hallooooho?!? Bist du tot?"
Maurice streckte die Pfote aus, um Nica anzustupsen.
"Waaage es ja nicht" sagte Nica grummelnd. Ihre Lungen fingen langsam an zu schmerzen und ihre Geduld mit dem Kater schwand mit jedem weiteren Atemzug. Er versuchte, sie auszutricksen - ihr Vertrauen zu gewinnen. Aber so einfach würde sie es ihm nicht machen. Nica schlug ihre Augen auf, als sie die Katze vor sich roch - und das keine Sekunde zu spät. Der grau gestreifte Kater sah sie mit großen Augen an, die Pfote ausgestreckt. “Noch ein Millimeter und du bist dran."
Doch der Kater war sehr waagemutig. Wagemutig aber doch vorsichtig. Fische konnten recht gefährlich werden, das wußte er aus Erfahrung. Maurices ganzer Körper war angespannt. Er ließ den Blick nicht von dem Fisch und stupste Nica endlich mit der Pfote in die Seite.
Blitzschnell schnappe Nica nach dem Kater und schlug dabei versehentlich gegen den Wassereimer, der nun gefährlich zu schwanken anfing. Sie verfehlte die Katze leider um Haaresbreite, aber noch gab sie nicht auf. Die Tischdecke, auf der sie lag, hing sowieso schon auf halb acht, und ihre Anstrengungen machten das Ganze nicht besser. Einen Blick auf Makkazzar zurückwerfend, flüsterte sie: “Er wird noch aufwachen!” In Anglerfischmanier ließ sie ihre Esca auleuchten. “Jetzt komm zurück und lass dich fressen!”
Maurice schoß in die Höhe mit allen Vieren gleichzeitig und fauchte leise. Sien Fell hatte sich gesträubt, der Schwanz sah aus wie eine Flaschenbürste. Tja, der Fisch war dann wohl doch eine Nummer zu groß für ihn…und außerdem konnte er ja auch sprechen. Maurice war sich nicht mehr so sicher, ob ein sprechender Fisch die geeignete Beute war. Makk würde bestimmt sauer. In sicherem Abstand zu Nica setzte sich der Kater hin und beobachtete Nica wieder.
"Du mich fressen? Hah! denkste!" schnurrte er und schaute zu dem schlafenden blauen Mann. “Aber wär vielleicht nicht das Schlechteste, wenn er endlich aufwacht. Dann bekomm ich endlich Futter und dich setzt er wieder ins Wasser. Ganz im Ernst, lange hälst du nicht mehr aus, wenn du mich fragst. Soll ich Makkazzar wecken?"
Rat von einer Katze anzunehmen ging ihr ein wenig gegen den Strich, aber Nica musste zugeben, dass ihre Lage mit vertreichender Zeit nicht besser wurde. Der Kater war jetzt zu weit weg um gebissen zu werden und wo der Käpt’n nach dem Raudau immernoch nicht aufgewacht war, war sie sich unsicher, ob man ihn so einfach wecken konnte. “Na gut, Katze. Aber tu was für dein Futter. Ich werd ihn überzeugen das du ne Dose Whiskas verdient hast wenn du mir hilfst, ihn aufzuwecken.” Nica rollte sich über den Tisch und stupste gegen Makkazzars Arm. “Käpt’n! Aufwachen! Ich ersticke und deine Katze verhungert.”Maurice schlich sich an den schlafenden Makkazzar an und kam mit seiner Nase ganz nah an sein Gesicht. Wenn er ihn mit seinen Schnurrhaaren kitzelte, half das meistens schon, um den blauen Mann wachzumachen. Ob es nun an Nicas Rufen lag, der Stupserei oder Maurices kitzeln, Makk machte einen Schnarcher und blinzelte.
"Uuuuooahh!" gähnte er, “Ja, ja Kater, is ja schon gut. Kriegst ja gleich was." Als sein Blick auf den armen Fisch auf dem Küchentisch fiel, war er plötzlich hellwach.
"Ach du liebes Bisschen! Nica! Was ist den mit dir passiert? Mensch! Hier ist ja alles naß!" Rasch aber behutsam nahm er den Fisch auf und setzte Nica zurück ins Wasser. Böse sah er den Kater an.
"Schäm dich was, Maurice, unseren Gast so zu behandeln!"
Maurice blickte Makkazzar empört an. “Ähh,…Miau!” antwortete er.
Wasser! Nica war so erleichtert, endlich wieder durchatmen zu können. Sie blinzelte aber kurz, als sie keine Widerworte von Seiten des Katers hörte. Dem Käpt’n gegenüber war er also schweigsam. Naja, vielleicht war er schüchtern.
"Nein nein nein nein. Er hat dich geweckt, damit ich nicht ersticken muss", widersprach sie Makkazar. "Vollends selbstlos. Naja, und fĂźr eine Dose Whiskas. So oder so, du solltest ihn fĂźttern."
Sie sah zu Maurice herĂźber und blinzelte. Das kĂśnnte eine ganz nette Allianz ergeben. Sie musste ihn beizeiten noch zu seiner Einstellung zu SeemĂśwen befragen.
"Na sowas," Makk schüttelte den Kopf, “Das hätt ich ja nicht von dir erwartet, Kater. Ich dachte schon, er wollte dich inspizieren. Macht er für gewöhnlich mit allem, um zu schauen, ob er es fressen kann. Das meiste ist ihm allerdings nicht genehm, er ist ein furchtbar wählerischer Kater." Makk stand auf, um Maurice zu füttern. Der Kater zwinkerte Nica verschwörerisch zu und sprang laut miauend vom Tisch.
"Sag mal, Nica, wie bist du denn Ăźberhaupt aus dem Eimer auf den Tisch geraten?" fragte Makk und Ăśffnete eine Dose mit Katzenfutter.
"Ähm." Nica überlegte kurz, ob sie sich eine Ausrede einfallen lassen sollte, besann sich dann aber anders. "… Maurice war nicht der Einzige, der hungrig war. Und mir ist etwas zu spät eingefallen, dass manche Leute es unhöflich finden, wenn man ihre Katzen frisst. Tut mir Leid. War ein langer Weg gestern." Sie hoffte, Makk würde es ihr nicht allzu übel nehmen. Es war ja auch nur versuchter Katzenmord gewesen.
"Was?!?" Makk sah den Fisch ungläubig an und drehte dann den Kopf zu Maurice, der geduldig auf dem Boden saß und aussah, als wolle er sagen `Die und mich fressen? Da lachen ja die Hühner. Ich bin viel zu gerissen für die…und zu schnell.´ Stattdessen fing der Kater nur an, laut und ungeduldig zu miauen.
"Ja, ja, du bekommst ja sofort etwas," sagte Makk beschwichtigend, “Ich hoffe, das war nur ein Witz, Nica. Aber wenn du sselbst so hungrig bist, was hättest du gern zum Frühstück?,….Außer Maurice, versteht sich."
"Seesterne!" Nein, Moment. Die gabs hier bestimmt nicht. "Ähm… Krabben? Muscheln? Oder irgendein Fisch, ich bin nicht wählerisch. Solange es lebt ist mir eigentlich alles - " Oh, stimmt. Lebendfutter war meistens rar in normalen Küchen. "Ähm. Ich jag mir nachher was. Kein Stress. Iss du lieber. Du siehst müde aus… Es war echt lieb von dir, dass du Wache geschoben hast. Achja, und danke für - du weißt schon."
"Häh?" Makk schüttelte den Kopf, “Ach schon gut." Der blaue Mann gab das Katzenfutter in einen Napf und stellte diesen auf den Boden, ungeduldig bedrängt von Maurice, der sofort mit Fressen anfing.
"Hmf, hmf, Nica, könnt dir ne lebende Maus mitbringen,…oder ne Ratte," Maurice genoss sein Frühstück.
Makk runzelte die Stirn und blickte sich um. “Hast du was gesagt, Nica?” Sein Blick fiel auf den Kater und er schüttelte den Kopf, “Neeeein, bin wohl noch zu müde. Oh Mann, ich brauch nen Kaffee.” Er setzte sich wieder an den Tisch und sah Nica in ihrem Eimer zu.
"Tut mir leid, Lebendfutter hab ich nicht da, bloß Toast, Marmelade, Müsli,…solche Sachen. Auch Obst…Hey, der Minion von meinem Kumpel Blue mag Kekse. Du auch?"
"Kekse?" Ungläubig dreinschauend fragte sie sich, wie sie einen Keks essen sollte. Sie könnte ihn im Ganzen verschlucken, wie alles andere auch, okay, aber wo war da der Spaß? Artegerechte Ernährung war was anderes, aber es schien, als würde sie nicht drum herum kommen, irgendetwas anzunehmen. "Ähm, nein Danke. Hm … ein rohes Ei oder zwei? Wenns okay is? Einfach ins Wasser legen." Ja, das war das Kleinste Übel und würde sie stärken, bis sie sich etwas anständiges fangen konnte. "Leben eigentlich viele Minionfische im See? Ich hab mich noch gar nicht umgesehen."
"Rohes Ei, geht klar," Makk machte sich auf den Weg zum Kühlschrank, “Und eigentlich ist es ja wahr. Wer weiß, ob ihr Minionfische Kekse überhaupt vertragt? Wenn Blue´s Minion demnächst nen Keks will, geb ich ihm keine, sondern getrocknete Shrimps oder so. Ich will ja schließlich nicht schuld daran sein, dass er sich den Magen verdirbt." Der blaue Mann nahm ein Ei aus der Schachtel und legte es behutsam in den Eimer. Er war sich sicher, dass Nica mit ihren scharfen Zähnen in der Lage war, die Schale schnell zu knacken.
"So, und ich mach mir jetzt ne Stulle,…mit Schinken und dick Senf."
Während Makk sich das Brot griff und anfing, sein Frühstück vorzubereiten, überlegte er kurz. “Nein, weitere Minion-Fische im See habe ich noch nicht entdeckt…Aber es soll da so einen Riesen-Wels geben….Ich nenn ihn “Big Wayne”,….hahaha, wegen Metro Man, weißt du? Der heißt in echt Wayne, wie ich gerüchteweise gehört habe….Und keiner hat ihn bisher fangen können.”
Nica konnte es kaum erwarten, diesen anderen Minionfisch kennenzulernen. Wie er wohl war? Ob er auch nach einem Schwarm suchte? Und -
Das Ei, das zunächst nur gemächlich neben ihr her trieb, stupste sie in die Seite.
Futter!
Sie schluckte das Ei, wie jede anderen Beute auch, im Ganzen. Ihre Magensäure wßrde wie ßblich kurzen Prozess mit jeglicher Schale machen. Nica war glßcklich, etwas im Magen zu haben und genoss die Erfrischung. War das lange her. Die GreenPeace-ler hatten ihr ab und zu Eier gegeben als sie kleiner war, bestanden aber irgendwann darauf, dass sie sich ihre Beute auch alleine fangen mßsste. Die ganze Auswilderungsschese eben.
Lieb blinzelnd sah sie Makkazzar mit großen Augen an. “Hast du noch eins?”
Makk blickte Nica fasziniert an, als sie das Ei in einem Stück verschluckte. So etwas hatte er noch nie gesehen. “Alter Schwede!” bemerkte er, “Sowas hab ich ja noch nie gesehen, das ganze Ei …und ohne zu kauen. Na ich hoffe mal, dass du kein Bauchweh bekommst.”
Der blaue Mann musste lächeln, als er Nicas bittenden Blick und die großen Kulleraugen sah. “Aber sicher bekommst du noch ein zweites,” sagte er und griff nach einem weiteren, um es in den Eimer zu legen, “Siehst du? jetzt hast du doch Appetit bekommen…Hah! Und du wolltest dir selbst was fangen…Na ja, vielleicht machst du das ja auch noch. Dann bist du zumindest ein bisschen gestärkt.”
Makk biß genüßlich in seine Stulle und wischte sich den Senf vom Mund ab, während er kaute.
Glücklichkeit! Nica nahm das zweite Ei auf und balancierte es auf der Stirn. “Das macht mir nichts. Ich kann auch ganze Hummer fressen, wenn ich wollte - Eierschale… pf.” Sie überlegte kurz, besann sich dann aber doch anders. Sie warf das Ei nach oben und ließ es in ihr Maul fallen. Sie blinzelte anschließend, noch immer hungrig. Ihr kam eine Idee. “Ist der Wels sehr groß? Wo genau wurde er gesichtet?” Nica liebte solches Seemannsgarn. Außerdem hätte sie nichts gegen ein bisschen Frischfleisch auszusetzen. Und wenn der Käptn’t den Fisch sowieso fangen wollte …
Makk schluckte seinen Bissen runter und lachte vergnügt, als er Nica´s Kunststück sah. “Oh Mann, du bist vielleicht ein fantastischer Fisch, das war außergewöhnlich. Wo bist du eigentlich aufgewachsen? Du hast nur gesagt, dass du von der Nordsee hergekommen bist. Gabs da vielleicht nen Zirkus oder so? Wo hast du das gelernt?”
Der blaue Mann schüttelte grinsend den Kopf und aß sein Brot auf. “Tja der Wels, Big Wayne, der ist verdammt groß, so wie ich gehört habe. Den kannst du bestimmt nicht in einem runterschlucken, eher umgekehrt. Da solltest du wirklich vorsichtig sein. Ich hab den selbst noch nie zu gesicht bekommen, obwohl ich hier schon ziemlich lange fischen gehe. Aber die anderen Angler haben von ihm erzählt. Der alte Pete soll ihn mal an der Angel gehabt haben aber er konnte ihn nicht rausziehen. Big Wayne soll ihn mit seinem Ruderboot von einem Ufer des Sees bis zum anderen gezogen haben, bis die Leine gerissen ist….Ich weiß nicht, ob´s stimmt, die anderen alten Männer haben´s aber erzählt.”
Schade. Hätte sie einen Schwarm, vielleicht, aber so… vielleicht ein anderes mal. An Fische denken machte sie erst recht hungrig.”Ich kann auch jonglieren! Die Seehunde habens mir beigebracht - ich kome eigentlich aus einem Seehundrettungszentrum, dass von ein paar Green Peace Aktivisten geleitet wird. Wenn du mir drei Eier gibst, kann ichs dir zeigen…” Sie schaute erwartungsvoll.
"Aus einem Seehundzentrum? Ja wirklich?" Makk war ganz froh, dass Nica endlich das Thema wechselte. Er war sich selbst nicht so ganz sicher, ob Big Wayne tatsächlich existierte oder ob die alten Männer ihn sich nur ausgedacht hatten. Makk zumindest hatte den Riesenfisch definitiv noch nie gesehen.
" Ok, dann zeig mir mal, was du kannst," Makk nahm noch drei weitere Eier aus dem Karton und legte sie in Nicas Eimer. Zum GlĂźck waren immer noch genĂźgend da, Freya wĂźrde ihm das nie glauben, ein Fisch der mit Eiern jonglierte.
Nica betrachtete die Eier glücklich, froh, dass ihr Plan funktioniert hatte. Jonglieren war etwas schwieriger, daher nahm sie die Eier eins nach dem anderen ins Maul und machte daraus erst einmal Wasserblasen, um eine größere Fläche zu haben. Sie hielt nicht lange durch, aber immerhin blieb ein Ei bei ihr im Eimer, während eins gegen die Decke prallte und das andere über den Tisch davonkullerte.
"Entschuldigung, ist schon ne Weile her", lachte sie. Sie biss ein Loch in die Blase die bei ihr geblieben war, so dass sie aufplatzte und sie das Ei darin essen konnte.
Der blaue Mann kicherte. Aha. da lag also der Hase im Pfeffer begraben! Da hatte der Fisch ihn ja fein reingelegt.
"Das war echt gut. ich hab noch nie einen Fisch gesehen, der jonglieren kann," sagte Makk grinsend und griff das Ei, das auf den Tisch gerollt war, “Hier, das kannst du auch noch haben, wenn du noch hungrig bist, Es sind übrigens noch acht Stück übrig, also sag Bescheid, falls du noch nicht satt sein solltest, damit ich Freya anrufen kann, damit sie noch einen Karton mitbringt, wenn sie heimkommt," er blickte nach oben auf die Ei-Reste, die von der Decke tropften, “Ich glaub, ich mach das erstmal sauber."
"Tut mir leid" sagte Nica, schnell das neue Ei verputzend, während Makkazzar die Undordnung einzudämmen versuchte, sie sie verursacht hatte. "Du hattest gesagt, das mit meiner Antenne sei nur ein Provisorium, oder? Du musst quasi nochmal daran herum basteln… aber hat das noch Zeit? Ich würde gern den See erkunden."
Nun wo sie dem Käpt’n mit der Reperatur des Schiffes helfen wollte, schien es eine gute Idee zu sein, die umliegenden Jagdgründe zu erforschen. Sie musste nur aufpassen, dass sie Big Wayne nicht allzu bald über den Weg lief. Und wer weiß, vielleicht traf sie ja auch nch ein oder zwei andere Minionfische?
"Ja, na sicher," sagte Makk und stieg auf den Tisch um die Eierreste wegzuwischen, “Ich meine, die Reparatur ist soweit gut geworden, wenn man bedenkt, dass ich nicht die passenden Ersatzteile hatte und ein wenig improvisieren musste. Mach dir keine Sorgen, das wird schon eine Weile halten und zwar besser als du denkst. Aber es ist natürlich keine Dauerlösung. Ich bräuchte besseres Material, damit ich das professionell machen kann. Aber keine Sorge, du kannst erstmal damit rumschwimmen, wenn du keine waghalsigen Aktionen unternimmst. Du solltest auch die Flußmündung erkunden. Der Fluß ist wunderbar sauber,..Hehe, deshalb habe ich mich auch hier angesiedelt. Ich würd mich freuen, wenn du mich mal öfter besuchen kommst. Es wäre toll, wenn du ein paar Ideen hättest, wie ich das Boot endgültig wieder flott bekomme. Besonders die Unterseite macht mir ein wenig Sorgen, da komm ich nämlich nicht so einfach ran, um nachzusehen, ob was kaputt ist…Und ganz nebenbei…Wir habe immer genug Eier im Haus."
Makk nahm den Eimer mit Nica und kletterte an Deck. “So, na dann werd ich dich mal wieder ins Wasser lassen.  Maurice? Willst du unserer neuen Freundin auch `Auf Wiedersehen´ sagen?”
Der Kater war ihnen gefolgt und hatte sich auf den Planken niedergelassen. Als Makk gerade nicht aufpasste flüsterte Maurice: “War nett dich kennenzulernen, Nica. Für nen Fisch bist du gar nicht so übel….Ganz schön tollkühn….Wir sehn uns.”
Makk lächelte und hob den Eimer. “Bereit, das Gewässer zu erobern?” fragte er.
Maurice zublinzelnd, verabschiedete sich Nica von dem Kater. Vielleicht … würde sie ihn doch nicht fressen. Im Gegenteil - vielleicht würde sie ihm in Zukunft ein paar Fische auf den Planken liegen lassen.
"Ich werde mir die Schiffsschraube ansehen wenn ich zurückkomme" versprach Nica dem Käpt’n. Was durchaus bald sein konnte, da sie die Aussicht auf Eier nicht so schnell vergessen würde. "Wir werden schon noch einen Piratenschiff daraus machen" sagte sie zum Abschied, sprang aus dem Eimer und verschwand im See.
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