#ugly crying for a guy who was kinda of a creep | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachycoreroo · 4 years ago

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angel | kuroo tetsurou

summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together

pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp

word count: 7.9k

warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration

authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist

you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.

sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs. and your crush looking at you.

wait.

huh?

quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?

it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.

after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.

“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.

taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.

as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.

“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.

feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.

you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.

as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?

taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.

“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.

nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.

in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.

“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.

you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.

“i’ll consider it, peasant.”

after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.

as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.

wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.

lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.

putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.

of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.

after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.

for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?

you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.

and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.

which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.

“y/n.”

at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.

“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.

“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.

after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.

“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.

seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?

“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”

fantastic.

“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”

“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”

even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.

“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.

to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?

not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.

but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.

“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.

“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.

tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”

luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.

he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.

the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.

“we broke up.”

wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.

“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.

“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”

“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.

hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.

“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”

“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.

breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”

alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”

“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”

“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”

she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”

“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.

as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.

but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.

before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.

“hello?”

“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.

quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”

ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.

as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.

“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”

“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.

“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”

walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”

while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”

but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.

kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”

you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.

the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”

just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.

not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.

avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”

the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.

“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.

as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.

“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.

but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.

“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.

with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.

“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.

with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.

panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.

refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.

the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.

his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.

“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.

his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.

“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.

preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.

at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.

“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.

his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.

you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.

zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.

you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.

apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.

“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.

he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”

how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.

kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.

with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.

“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.

sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.

as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.

looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.

with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.

“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.

as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.

you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.

but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.

just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.

“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.

just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.

with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.

the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.

the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.

you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.

chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.

you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.

feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.

“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.

you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.

feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”

that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?

you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”

kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”

groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”

finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”

“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”

what now?

“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.

“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”

while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.

“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”

sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.

“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.

“oh.”

with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”

“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.

“i like you too, nerd.”

bonus:

the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.

“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.

looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.

“just… reasons”.

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diem-my · 4 years ago

Text

post game headcanon (sakusa kiyoomi)

summary: after the msby vs alders game, you go down onto the court to greet your boyfriend, sakusa kiyoomi. where you also run into your children the chaotic trio

word count: 1k

warning: spoiler for the manga

a/n: hello this is my first headcanon, i wrote it at 3am, it kinda became a shit post, oops? i hope you still enjoy it (◍•ᴗ•◍)

~~~~

→ the game just ended and everyone's going down to congratulate the players

→ you step onto the court and you see sakusa in the corner confronted by little kids asking for his autograph

→ he looks like he wants to tell the kids to fuck off because no, he’s not going to touch your pen, who knows where its been

→ but he can’t tho, because that’s fucking rude - also he doesn’t need the kids to burst into tears, that’s just another problem

→ with a constipated face, he weakly grabs the pen between his thumb and pointer finger and just scribbles out a signature

→ no it does not look anything like his real one but the adorable little kids don’t know that, they look like they won the lottery

→ the kids scattered away to brag to their parents they met the sakusa kiyoomi

→ thinking it’ll be fucking hilarious, you make your voice super high pitched and go “sakusa-senpai, can i please have your autograph?”

→ with his back facing you, you can see the way his shoulders tense up, probably thinking “are you fucking kidding me, another one?”

→ sakusa turns around with the fakest smile only for it to be wiped away and replaced with exasperation

→ you say completely serious “what? i need a side hustle”

→ arching his brows, completely unimpressed, you burst out laughing

→ you walk over, grabbing the wipes from your bag and open it for him

→ he picks up the sheet the same way he did the pen, and you have to contain your amusement, looking grateful, he wipes his hands - twice

→ you also hand him a new disposable mask, completely sealed in plastic

→ you’re about to congratulate him on his win, when you hear voices shouting your name

→ looking over you see your children the chaotic trio speeding towards you with their arms flapping everywhere

→ hinata and bokuto are running towards you and you can tell they’re about to run you over in excitement (they are unaware of their strength smh)

→ before they can reach you, you put your hand out to stop them

→ they instantly freeze 4 cm from your hand

→ you give them a look to be patient then turn to your left

→ you raise your eyebrow at sakusa and he shoots you an uninterested glance back

→ but his left hand comes up an inch, and you know you won

→ rolling your eyes you come closer and wrap your arms around his back, pressing your lips to his heart you whisper “you did amazing omi-a”

→ you feel his hand wrap a lil tighter around your waist

→ tilting your head up, you smile at him, letting yourself show just how proud you are

→ his eyes become softer and his mouth opens "-

→ “omg omi has emotions, someone call the press over! the world is ending!” screech's atsumu

→ and the mood is gone

→ hinata and bokuto quickly look away, trying to hide their laughter

→ you turn around giving atsumu a blank stare and declare “you’re not getting a hug”

→ omi lets go and retreats back into the corner (he would’ve gone to the locker room but coach said it’s rude to leave right away when everyone came out to support the team, minimum 10 mins) ((he’s counting down the seconds))

→ atsumu starts protesting explaining how difficult it is to tease omi and that it was a perfect opportunity that he couldn’t let slip away, trying and failing to get your sympathy

→ you ignore him and motion for the sunshine duo to come closer, you give each of them a hug, and they go off

“ HEY HEY HEY DID YOU SEE MY SPIKE?! ”

“DID YOU SEE MY LAST SHOT?! I TOTALLY MADE UGLY KAGEYAMA CRY! -”

“you didn’t make him cry” mutter omi

“I FINALLY BEAT HIM TOO! ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?!”

→ they are looking at you with twinkling eyes and their fist shaking in excitement as they recount their tales (they look like adorable puppies)

“YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO ANY OF THAT WITHOUT ME SETTING IT YOU DUMBASS!” a dejected atsumu yells says - being without attention for a while has made his hair flat you notice

→ you pat the duo lovingly on the cheek and say warmly that yes you did see and that you were super impressed and proud

→ atsumu is looking like he’s about 2 seconds away from a tantrum, you decide you’ve tortured him enough

“you know what to say atsumu” you say seriously, although you’re laughing on the inside

“...sorry omi…” he mumbles

→ you can hear omi cackling behind you before he slips away, its probably been 10 mins

→ you pull atsumu into a hug and tell him his setting was also amazing

→ as you pull away, you see his hair has come back to life

→ puffing his chest out he declares confidently “of course i was, when am i not?”

“i thought she was talking about your setting?” mumbles a confused hinata

→ the trio now look like overjoyed puppies who had too much sugar

→ a staff comes over and informs bokuto that he’s gonna be late for an interview

→ you say your goodbyes, not become promising to come to their next game

→ about to walk away and find omi, you hear atsumu manipulating talking hinata into asking you something (he knows everyone has a soft spot for hinata)

“wait umm do you - if you are free of course, do you think you could maybe.. make some more of those rice balls?” a careful hinata murmurs

→ he look so sincere, how can anyone say no (probably if you’re tsukki or kageyama)

“of c-” “no she can’t” interjects omi

→ rolling your eyes, you wave your goodbyes again as you walk towards omi, who’s already dressed and ready to leave (probably rushed so he could get back to his place as fast as possible and wash up)

→ as you two walk away, you hold your hand out and you feel the hand sanitizer drip onto it

→ rubbing your hands together, you inform omi “you’re the one who said they get hungry too quickly during practice”

“i wasn’t asking you to make them food,” retorts omi, "you spoil them too much" he adds

→ grabbing your mask from your bag, slipping it on, “sure you weren’t omi, sure you weren’t”

→ as you guys make your way out, you feel his hand brush against yours, a soft smile creeps onto your face, hidden by your mask

→ for all his indifference and leak of emotions (sumu’s words) omi has his own way of showing his affection

→ you intertwine your pinkies under the night sky, and disappear into the crowd

#sakusa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #sakusa headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi #hq sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #hq headcanons #hq!! headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#mine

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spectrumed · 3 years ago

Text

8. book

I decided to start writing a book. A novel, it’s going to be fiction. It’s a big project. I dread big projects. I don’t feel as if I am ever able to complete them. It’s going to be left unfinished, why do I even bother? So many projects that I’ve started and never finished. I get an idea, then I can’t make myself do the actual work to make it a reality. Why do I think I can write a book when I can barely read books without becoming distracted and doing something else instead? I give up too easily. But, then again, do I really have it in me to produce something that is good? That people would want to read? Insecurity creeps in, telling me that I will fail. I fear failure. Of course I do, who doesn’t? Whenever people say that their greatest fear is failure, all I wonder is who out there is not afraid of failure? Is there someone out there with so much confidence that they absolutely do not in any way fear failure? Even narcissists technically fear failure, it is what leads them to such ridiculous overcompensation, putting on the facade of bravado to mask their actual dire sense of insecurity. Do not fall for the scams, no person is truly without self-doubt. (Well, I guess maybe psychopaths, but there’s a whole lot of things amiss with them.)

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve entertained myself by coming up with stories, fictional universes that I would populate with characters of my own invention. When I was a kid, what I really wanted was to become a comic book writer and artist. Well, in between other gigs I imagined would suit me, including at one point wanting to be a “singing farmer,” as I put it. Still, I’ve always returned to fiction and storytelling. There’s something about creating a world that lets you so fully distract yourself from all the stressful daily hullabaloo that goes on around you. Escapism, it’s fun, it’s therapeutic, I think. There’s a reason why humans have been telling each other stories for millennia, since even before we lived in houses. Back when we were all huddled around the fire, wearing our best comfortable animal furs, sharing tales of the hunt. Your uncle who once took part in killing a mammoth, the impressive beast nearly gorging him with its big tusks. How clever he was when he noticed that the mammoth had one leg weaker than the others, and used that to his advantage. How the entire hunting party banded together to bring the behemoth down, getting all that meat to feed their families with for months! Stories make you feel good. Like as if you have something to celebrate, even when you might be starving due to the more recent hunts not having gone as well. Damn that saber-tooth tiger that killed your uncle…

Storytelling is linked to acting. Both with acting and with storytelling you have to commit. Whatever you are doing, whatever role you are performing, you have to sell it. You may be on stage talking about that time you went scuba diving with your future wife, and how you encountered an oyster with the most magnificent pearl inside, and how you made a ring for the pearl and used it when you proposed to her. You have to sell it. You have to get the audience laughing, gasping, crying, going “aww,” feeling as if they were there with you that day. Of course, they don’t know it is all just lies. You made it up. It’s all fiction. But you committed, so they won’t ever know. Storytelling is a gift to others, people will appreciate you if you tell good stories, but you’re also kinda deviant. Even if it’s technically based on a true story, you’ve certainly added your embellishments. You’re a trickster, a devious individual. No wonder actors have historically been seen as dubious folks. They come into town, romances all the young women and men, telling them big tales of their lives on the road, and they can’t possibly know if you are telling the truth or not. You may just be lying. You probably are lying. Let’s be honest, you’ve probably not told a single true thing in your life.

I am bad at the hustle. No, I can talk quite well, and I can keep people’s attention for a long while. But I can’t be a huckster. Going out there, putting myself on the line hoping people will swallow my bullshit. I can’t really avoid speaking from my heart when I do speak. Or when I write, as I happen to be doing now. This blog has so far been thoroughly candid in places, in such a way I may come across like I’m at a confessional. Not that I have much evil to confess, but I can’t help but be transparent. I can’t flip into different kinds of personalities, each with its own schemes and plots, being some master manipulator, someone who you can never figure out what they're truly up to, or what they truly want. No, what I am is clearly written on my face. I’ve got one self, and it is the one before you. He’s hairy, and tall, and a bit of a dork. I am happy to talk to you, to engage with you, but I won’t be anyone but myself. I am me. I hope that’ll do.

Of course you are familiar with all those pick-up artists that plagues the internet. Or well, not just the internet. Go into any old-fashioned bookstore (where they store books on paper, not in digital code,) and you are bound to find some sleazy book written by a sleazy guy about how to sleazily seduce women. Those books don’t want you acting like me. According to them, seduction is all about manipulation. To figure out the very right thing to say to get women to fawn all over you. They don’t want you to be sincere, telling the truth as you see it. Nah, you gotta keep that stuff bottled up, deep down inside your soul, because most likely, your true self is ugly. It’s interesting how you can get little details from these pick-up artists depending on the sort of things they say, the tips they provide. The fact that all of them seem to harbour this festering misogyny is no big surprise, but every so often, you get these little glimpses of these people’s true worldview, one where power is everything, true love is a fallacy, and happiness is a lie manufactured by Hollywood to make us all into docile consumers. No wonder the “red-pill” so often leads to people taking the “black-pill.” First hucksters will lure you in, telling you that they’ve got the secret as to how to be a success, then when they’ve got you isolated, they reveal to you how truly misanthropic and bleak their actual beliefs are.

I am fascinated with cults, for much of the same reason why I am fascinated with storytelling. What is a cult leader if not just a great storyteller? They’re something like the modern day shaman, capable of spellbinding people with their weird idiosyncratic way of speaking. High-functioning people with autism are often said to have an idiosyncratic way of speaking. No, I am not suggesting that cult leaders are all somewhere on the spectrum, though it wouldn’t surprise me if some famous cult leaders did turn out to have been on the spectrum. However, for an autistic person to become a cult leader, I think they would have to be a true believer, and not some fraud just looking to scam others. Ultimately, no autistic person would want to surround themselves with people unless they truly do believe it is essential, to like, save mankind from damnation or something. It’s the difference between sincerity and insincerity. It is difficult for autistic people to be insincere, as insincerity requires a lot of social skills that autistic people struggle with. Having to juggle all these balls in the air, making sure you keep the big lie going, that you remember to change your behaviour depending on who you are speaking to in order to keep them from figuring out that you’re a bullshitter. Hollow people are great at being insincere. People like L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the highly profitable cult that is Scientology, was at his core a hollow individual. He had no problems twisting the minds of the people around him, because he never felt a need to be sincere. If an autistic person were to become a cult leader, I can guarantee you that it wouldn’t be a profitable cult. Nah, autistic people aren’t in it for the money, we’re all about keeping it real.

Being a sincere person, surely I should be able to write a novel and make it feel earnest. Like it was delivered with passion, because I wouldn’t be able to write anything that wasn’t true to myself. Well, I do hope so. Having something I’ve made be referred to as genuine is something I see as a great compliment. I’m a student of art history, I’ve made some “serious” art before, I know how terrible art can be when it is not delivered with good faith. Sure, some art is cynical, or ironic, but even then, it tends to come from a real place. Good artists, even when they’re fully armed with the dada mindset, must believe in what they are doing. Whether they are doing it for a laugh or not, that’s irrelevant. Even if all you wish is to be silly and make something that is comical, you have to believe in what you are creating. Or else people won’t bother engaging with it. Why look at a painting by someone who is just interested in making money? Insincere artists do exist, and they can end up becoming quite successful, but ultimately, history won’t be kind to them. Damien Hirst comes to mind, heard he's into NFTs now.

Sure, I don’t like insincere people. Does that make me a bigot? Like, it’s not as if they can help themselves. It’s just who they are, spineless maggots with no soul. It doesn’t mean we have to hate them. No, no, no... I am just generalising. Don’t go thinking there’s just two kinds of people in the world, the sincere and the insincere. It’s not a binary. Most people are both, just like with introverts and extroverts, humans are complex. But there are definitely those that decide to feed into their insincere side, realising that it is often the key to success. Through insincerity, you learn to let go of self-doubt, you stop worrying so much about what others think of you, because you are never truly yourself. If they hate you, then so what? They don’t actually hate you, they just hate a role that you are playing. So what if you seduced that woman, made her feel as if you were the perfect match, then you ghosted her and completely forgot about her? It’s her fault for falling for your tricks. You were clearly just playing the game, being a super-seducer, she should have known better. By embracing insincerity, it’s like gaining a superpower. No longer do you have to care about the impact you have on others, no longer do you have to worry about what it means to be a social human being making choices that affect the others around you. Because you’re not the person they think you are. Actually, you’re not quite sure you’re the person you think you are… Who are you?

I’ve got the plot all laid out in my head for the novel. It’s going to be based in the fantasy world that I’ve been working on for the last few years. I’ve been working on this world for almost half a decade now, come to think of it. Why do I keep feeling as if I am never able to keep to a project, when I’ve clearly been working on a massive project all this time? Sure, it’s all just in my head, but it’s not as if most people have the kind of patience to keep going back to a single big project, even if it is just in their head. Not once, while thinking about my fantasy world have I been distracted and started thinking about cute puppies, instead. And you know how difficult that is. Maybe I am too hard on myself. Maybe I will finish this book, and maybe people will want to read it. Maybe it will even get a minimal number of angry reviews, like, I may get a book published without some folks trying to harass me into committing suicide for daring to think I can write. Some people may even be enthusiastic, blowing up my ego with great praise. Maybe someone will come along and tell me that they want to buy the rights to make my book into a movie or a television series. Maybe I will get rich? Maybe I will get famous! Woo! Success here I come!

Well, no, here I go being insincere. That’s not what it’s about. I should be writing this book because I want to write it. Because I want to prove to myself that I am able to write it. Sure, it’s not as if there’s not a little brain goblin inside my mind whispering sweet nothings about how one day I might turn out a real respected author. One with real fans that gets to do big book tours talking about how brilliant I am, how brilliant my work is, and how brilliant things are going for me. I am not going to pretend I don’t have the same aspirations for success that others have. Inside of me you will find the same greedy piglet of an ego hungry for more adoration and more validation that you will find in any person. Humans don’t know when to quit, we always want more. But I am at least safe knowing that I will never debase myself, descending to the same depths as those inhabited by soulless grifters who go through life abusing the trust of others in order to get by. I’m sincere, in the end. I always turn out sincere, in the end. I am a good boy.

And I am also really sexy. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before on this blog, but I am really, REALLY, sexy. Like, you wouldn’t believe it. Oh, I am so hot. And if you follow and subscribe and hit that bell, I will teach you how you can be just as sexy as I am! And buy my book! And my merch! And my new single! And of course, my new cryptocurrency, by the name of “autism-coin.” It’s going to be a real success on 4chan, let me tell ya!

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

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hyunsracha · 5 years ago

Text

for your entertainment — han jisung

word count: 2.3k

summary: jisung panics when he sees cute people. he also stares at them.

so you work at an entertainment store right

where ppl can buy like uhhh movies and albums n merch n stuff!!

u like ur job.. it’s one of the least popular stores in the mall so u spend most of ur time organizing and reorganizing with one earbud in listening to music

u have to wear a boring grey t-shirt as uniform so u spice things up by making the rest of u look good

everyone else does the same thing i mean … ur manager lia wears purple eyeshadow ok

ur other manager chris doesn’t even try to look good! and it’s so fucking annoying u wanna knock his fuck 24/7

random girl: hehe<3 can i have ur number?

chris: only if u sign up for our rewards program<3

u, angry bc u haven’t sold any rewards programs in a week: >:(

ur other two co-workers are hyunjin and jeongin.

hyunjin has a pretty popular youtube dancer cover channel, but for Copyright Reasons it’s not paying the bills

and jeongin is a senior in high school and this is his first job and u just wanna pinch his little cheeks every time u work together

“y/n i swear to god i’m gonna punch u and get fired rn stop POKING MY CHEEKS-”

“he’s just a little baby…*to passing customer* LOOK AT THE BABY!”

“>:(((“

so it’s a tuesday night.

tuesday nights are the fucking best (worst if u love talking to ppl) bc u’ll get like … 2 customers in 4 hours?

it’s 8pm and the mall closes at 9

usually u start vacuuming at 8:30 but at like 7:50 chris was like “GET THE FUCKING VACUUM WE’RE CLOSING RN !!”

jeongin: u do it.

u: no u do it bitch.

jeongin: *sticks out his fist*

u sigh and do rock paper scissors like the baby wants.

and u lose

u fucking lose

and jeongin just cackles, sitting down on the stool behind the registers

so u trudge to the back room and the vacuum, grumbling about how ur older so jeongin should be doing this!!

but it’s fine!

so you’re vacuuming right.

and in storms Han Jisung

yes han jisung is the kinda dude to come to the mall right before closing and go on a shopping spree

he’s got his best friend lee minho in tow, who does Not look happy to be here.

“come on minho!! i need to get season 4 of naruto to finish my collection!!” jisung whines, pulling on his friend’s arm as he stands on his tiptoes to look for the anime section.

“can you keep your voice down?? i have an image, yanno.”

“minho you’re literally here to buy a kelly clarkson album.”

minho grumbles and waddles off towards the cds, where you are...vacuuming...loudly

and minho’s like -____- why are u so fucking loud

like u don’t MEAN to be loud?? but it’s a VACUUM??

so minho’s looking for his beloved kelly clarkson album right,

and jisung comes around the corner, season 4 of naruto in tow.

and he sees you

and nearly drops it

jisung gets crushes very easily okay..

he can’t help it! the boy loves to love (◕‿◕)♡

and u look so cute in ur lil t-shirt!! like a little retail angel!!

so he grabs minho’s arm and DRAGS HIM TO where the movies are

and he panics!

“THEY’RE SO CUTE AAH I WANNA GIVE THEM A BIG FAT HUG-”

“do you mean the person vacuuming -__- loud as hell”

“minho it’s a vacuum.”

so you stop vacuuming and return the vacuum to the back room (and wash ur hands in the bathroom bc the soap smells like lemons and sunshine) and come back to the floor

u have a ton of time until closing so u just. sit.. and start reorganizing the heavy metal albums.

after a while u feel … weird … like ur being watched

so u turn around and. there they are. staring like (・_・)

and ur like “HELLO?!?!” but u don’t say anything

u just give them a Customer Service Smile and a, “can i help you with anything?”

jisung just giggles and shakes his head and minho keeps fuckign staring

mr lee i will knock ur fuck is that what u want

so u shrug and go back to ur sorting, keeping an eye on the CREEPS in ur store.

at 8:55 chris is like “jeongin go close the gate.” n jeongin’s like “FUCK YEAH” bc he gets to hold a big stick

so he’s walking towards the front of the store with his Big Stick when he sees jisung and minho

“what da hell are y’all doing?” is what he thinks but he says, “(: hi! the store closes in five minutes and i’m about to close the front gate. i’m so sorry, but you have to leave now! :)”

so jisung pouts and minho rolls his eyes, dragging his friend out of the store.

jeongin uses his Big Stick to pull the gate down and he locks it at about mid calf level so y’all can get out.

so that night, u go home and do some homework, but ur still thinking about those weirdos.

but! u’ll probably never see them again!

right?

Wrong.

u see them the next day!

they’re still watching u, but they’re closer

and minho looks more irritated.

towards the end of the night, ur Upset and Confused so u go over to them like o_o. What do u want.

and jisung goes JISJSJHTIE

and minho goes, “jisung thinks you’re cute.”

u start to blush, but jisung squeaks, “NO ahah- uh- he likes to talk in third person! he’s jisung ahaha.”

“my name is not jisung i would Hate to be named jisung.”

“WH- why? there’s a soccer player named jisung. and an idol! multiple idols!”

“yeah the guy in nct is 2 years younger than you and has the same name. and what have You done successfully? Quickly-”

“HEY-”

the two boys in front of u bicker while u start zoning out at the wall behind them.

you knew that the boy with blue hair was jisung, but you didn’t know the one with brown hair. and you assumed that they were friends, judging by the .. bonding activity that is staring at an employee.

and jisung wasn’t …. ugly

like he was really … really cute

but staring at people is fucking weird, jisung!!

when u finally snap out of it, u huff, “okay losers. we are closing soon. so you have to leave. but you’re welcome to come back tomorrow if you’re going to actually talk to me and not just stand in the corner! okay?”

the boys nod, grinning at each other before dashing out of the store.

so, like u said, they’re back the next day!

and this time they actually talk to u! Wow!

you’re sitting on the floor in the back of the store, organizing the funko pops for the 70th time when you feel A Presence.

two, actually.

it’s the two boys, sitting on either side of u.

“hi,” jisung says, playing with his fingers in his lap.

“you’re jisung, right? the cute one..” u reply absentmindedly

u hear a choking sound and then Silence

miss jisung ? miss JISUNG ?

he’s alive, but jfc BARELY

u just called him the CUTE ONE?!?!?

paying no mind, u turn to the boy on ur right, “and you are?”

“lee minho. don’t worry, you won’t forget it.”

“was that supposed to be a pick-up line?”

“did it work?”

“no.”

“HAH!” and jisung’s alive again.

u spend the rest of ur shift talking to the boys, telling them all about ur life while they told u about theirs

u learned that minho was a dancer just like hyunjin! but he went to the nearby university to study.

and that’s where he met jisung, who’s a music composition major

...and a soundcloud rapper…

u could help the laugh that pushed past ur lips at his words

“WHY ARE U LAUGHING.”

“a SoundCloud rapper. really, sung?”

“IT’S COOL ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ”

u couldn’t imagine him as a ‘cool’ rapper dude

he just looked so fluffy :(

at 8:55, the boys got kicked out by jeongin again, but they stood outside the gate, waiting for u

“What do y’all want.”

“i wanna walk u to ur car:(“

“i don’t.”

“ok minho then Leave.”

“NO DON’T he’s my ride don’t say that to him.”

it’s dark outside, and a warm wind blows through ur hair.

it’s late spring, with summer (and finals) fast approaching.

“walking me to my car...what a gentleman…”

“yeah that’s why you should totally go on a date with me haha.”

“what?”

“you said-”

“i didn’t say anything.”

minho sighs from behind u, not understanding why his best friend has to be so damn stupid all the time

u lean on ur driver’s side door, not making eye contact with the boy

u didn’t know how to say bye..no one’s ever walked u to ur car before??

“so…” jisung speaks for u, “can i … have your number? so i don’t show up at the store when you’re not working.” he holds his phone out for u to take, a sheepish smile barely visible due to the lights in the parking lot.

“oh! totally.” you take the phone from him, jolting when ur fingers graze his. u set ur contact as ‘the person sungie likes to stare at~” before giving it back to him.

he chuckles at the name, and u feel something inside of u go DOKIDOKI

when he says goodnight and walks away, minho giving u a quick nod, u lock urself in ur car so u can PANIC

u barely know this boy. he’s a weirdo. why is ur heart going dokidoki

heart STOP IT!!

it only gets worse when u hear the text notification sound from ur phone:

[ unknown ]: do u work tmrw? (^_−)☆ i already miss u

…. frick …. he texts cute

dammit jisung why couldn’t u send the laughing emoji

[ y/n ]: i do ! ^.^ i’ll see u then?

[ creeper ]: wouldn’t miss it~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ goodnight!

u nearly slam ur head on the steering wheel.

true to his word, jisung was back the next day

and the day after that

the day after That, u were off, so u didn’t see him

but u guys texted nearly all day!

jisung was just … really easy to talk to :/

and really funny :/

and every time he giggled u just wanted to cry a little bit :/

and u feel like a CLOWN bc u have a CRUSH on this dude that hangs out with u at WORK

one day, ur at work, and jisung isn't there:((

u feel a little dumb being upset about it, but u were starting to get used to the little guy

“somebody looks like a sad clown.”

“hyunjin~” u whine.

“oh no. that’s the boy problems whine. uhhh suddenly i’m on break!” he tries to stand and walk away, but u pull him back down next to u.

see, u and hyunjin were pretty close.

u two are the same age and watch the same dramas.

and ur both super dramatic

which is WHY when u got ur heart broken by lee donghyuck a few months after u started working there, he was ur shoulder to cry - and complain - on.

“stop :( there was this boy who came in every day and talked to me and he’s super cute but he’s not here today and i miss him :(“

hyunjin just …. stared at u like …. wtf are u talking about

“do you have his number?”

“yes.”

“have you texted him to ask why he’s not here today?”

“...no…”

“(；￣Д￣) Y/N U FUCKIN FOOL!!! U ABSOLUTE IMBECILE!!!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME HWANG HYUNJIN I’LL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!”

a customer standing in front of the register, trying to buy some headphones: uh.. should i go?

u make hyunjin deal with the customer while u sneak out ur phone to text jisung

[ y/n ]: where are u . no one is here 2 annoy me today (except hyunjin but he doesn’t count)

u wait 5 minutes … no reply

10 minutes … no reply

an hour … no reply

“WAAAAA ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡ HYUNJIN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡”

hyunjin, handing a poor lady her receipt: jesus fucking christ

ur sulking as u leave the store that night

u still feel dumb, but now ur too Sad to feel dumb

u press the lock button on ur car keys so the lights would come on and the horn would sound, telling u where ur car was

“OH FUCK- jesus...stupid car…”

….that’s not what ur car horn sounds like.

u slowly approach, holding ur keys in between ur fingers

ur not afraid to stab a bitch with ur mail key and that’s on wolverine.

u breathe a sigh of Relief when u see it’s just jisung leaning against ur door

wait

jisung

“jisung?” u voice ur thoughts

his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck, “yeah..hi..sorry i didn’t text you back. i nearly backed out of doing this and i didn’t wanna look stupid.”

“you look stupid all the time.”

“jeez, thanks.”

u cross ur arms, stepping closer to the boy, “back out of what?”

“well i uh- do you remember how minho said i think you’re cute on the first day we talked?”

you nod.

“well...that hasn’t changed. i think you’re cute...really cute, actually.”

you blush again, just like the first time, “what does me being cute have to do with you standing in front of my car?”

“well, i don’t have a car, so i’m hoping...you can drive when we go on our first date?”

your heart nearly stops, but you start to smile.

“han jisung, are you asking me out?”

“are you saying yes?”

“yes.”

“then yeah. i am.”

your smile only gets wider as you close the gap between you two, wrapping your arms around his middle. he pats your head, a chuckle vibrating under your ear.

“also i need a ride home. minho dropped me off.”

“*sigh* jisung…”

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sunshinebillyhargrove · 4 years ago

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You Belong With Me (a billy hargrove x oc fic)

Note: I’ve been writing so many things and I’m excited to share one of my new fanfics to this blog. This is a small opening to a fic I want to get into this coming month. Billy Deserved Better. Tw for bullying and eating disorder. This is kind of an enemies to lovers fic but like 10 things I hate about you with a lot of Tswift inspiration. I hope you guys like it!

--Alison Gilbert wasn’t popular like the other girls at Hawkins High. Invisible actually. A careless single mother and a stuck up best friend made that much easy. Everything changes when the new King, Billy Hargrove, sets his sights on her. A secret prank tears them apart but it might be what brings them together too. Will love conquer all?--

prologue/one.

“Alison, over here!” A small hand rose across the school cafeteria. The blaring bell trilled loudly. It was lunchtime. Alison wanted the day to end. Her black Converse moved across the floor to her best friend. Many students moved like zoo animals into the big room to start eating. All of them talking about the upcoming prom.

Heather looked cute as a button with a big smile to match and lots of pink make up. Maybe a little fake. She was too popular for Alison. She dressed all in girly prep colors and was rich. Alison lived on Cherry Lane and just wore band teeshirts with ripped jeans.

“Hey.” Alison sat down and didn’t touch her meal. She didn’t want Heather commenting on how much she ate or the fact that she liked to wear dark colors. The two couldn’t have been any more different.

“There’s a huge party tonight.” Heather gushed excitedly. Alison shrugged. “We’re going. I’ll let you borrow something of mine...that fits.”

“Fine.” Alison picked at her lunch but wasn’t interested in it. Heather slid a flyer over.

“Prom is coming up. I’m going with Steve Harrington. Is that a problem?” Heather sipped a diet coke. “He asked me.” Alison hid the pain because she had a huge crush on Steve once and Heather knew it.

“No, it’s fine.” She got up with her lunch. “I have to go to the library.” Alison got a few steps and tripped, landing with a thud. Students laughed hard at that fall. She was so unpopular and they liked to pick on her. Heather peeked behind her shoulder but pretended she didn’t see anything. She didn’t want to be seen helping her loser friend.

“Tommy, you asshole!” Alison swept her tray up and food splashed everywhere. “You’re such a jerk.” Tommy and Carol laughed with the other people in the popular click. They always bothered her for no reason. She was never mean to them.

“Watch where you’re going, fatass,” Carol retorted back. “Go cry about it.” Alison sniffled her tears and ran away. She went into the bathroom and made herself throw up after Carol’s words. Already thin but she didn’t know it. She wanted to be pretty like Heather. Alison pretended she carried herself too high to be bothered with comments. She just wanted to fit in.

Back in the cafeteria, Billy Hargrove came into school late and saw his friends still laughing at their table.

“What’s going on?”

“Talking prom.” Tommy winked and another popular boy laughed. “You going?”

“It’s stupid.” Billy flicked his lighter around.

“We’ll give you forty bucks to make Gilbert go. Your neighbor. Ugly dork.” Tommy smiled with a mean look. “They say the bookworms are wild in the sack.”

“That’s dumb, dickweed.” Billy shook his head.

“A hundred.” The other popular boy sprang up. “Take Gilbert to the prom and show us your Hargrove charm. Show us how cool you are, B. Kiss her before they announce prom king and queen. And then dump her for whoever is queen.”

“Hey, uh, it might be me dummy.” Carol started to file her nails and got all prissy.

“Could be Heather.” Tommy chuckled. “Just ask her, B, and get paid for it. It’ll be so hilarious.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll think about it.” Billy got up and left

Alison and Billy were neighbors on Cherry. Their windows even faced each other. Alison liked Max and Susan but hated Neil. He was such a creep. She heard him fighting with Billy a lot.

Her mom wasn’t home because she was never home anymore. Always going out with guys and not caring about her daughter. She worked at the new mall that just opened in the makeup section of JCpenney. It didn’t matter. Alison liked to be alone mostly. She could just play piano and sing wherever she wanted. Alison always wanted to be on Broadway. She got all the choir solos which made Heather jealous. Her mom was a beauty queen and always mad her daughter didn’t want to be in pageants. Alison was just a theater dork.

Alison went into her house and ate a banana because it was easy on her tummy. The doorbell rang so she groaned and got it.

“Hargrove?” She made a face at him because he was such a jerk like Tomy. He didn’t pick on her as much but he ignored her a lot. “What do you want?”

“Hey, Gilbert. Alison.” He seemed shy all the sudden. Her blonde hair flowed in the wind against pale skin. She was actually really pretty. Especially since she got her braces off. Even with the big reading glasses she wore in class, she was beautiful. Big teeshirts hid her figure. “I was thinking about prom and wondered if you wanted to go with me.”

“Uh no...” Alison shuffled. “But thanks.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I want to ask you.”

“Ask one of those other popular girls you like. I’m not interested, Billy.” She moved to shut the door and his foot caught it.

“You mean, sluts? I don’t want other girls. Sorry, Tommy’s such a jerk. He and Carol are just stupid.” He explained and got charming. “I wanted to make it up to you. Go with me.“

“Maybe,” she said shyly. Billy was really cute and he seemed genuine. He bit his lip and looked so good. Things were better after he and Max started to get along. Alison had a crush on him but he was such a jerk to everyone. It felt like he might be tricking her to and she didn’t want to be hurt again. “I’ll think about it. You can still ask someone else though.”

“You know where to find me, Ali. I’m asking you so just deal with it. I only want to go with you.” Billy winked at her which sorta made her melt. “I’ll see you around and all you gotta do is nod that pretty blonde head of yours. Okay?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Well, I always thought you were cute.” He touched her chin and her heart stopped. “I’m not interested in any other girls. We should hang out. It’ll be fun. I could show you a really good time.”

“I’ll think about it Hargrove.” She tucked some hair back. “I’ll have to get a dress and everything.”

“You’ll look beautiful in anything you wear so get a dress and we’ll go. I can pick you up at 7 on prom night.” Billy winked. “Just say yes, Ali, live a little.”

“Yes, okay, I’ll go with you.”

“Awesome.” Billy smiled and turned to go. “Don’t be nervous, we’ll have fun.”

“Your friends won’t get mad?”

“Ah, who cares about them.” He walked off and lit up a new cigarette. “See you, princess.”

“Bye, Billy.” Alison sighed against her door and locked it. She had a date with a boy.

Billy felt kinda guilty after he walked off. He could just be nice and get paid. What Alison Gilbert didn't know couldn't hurt her. But, the guilt still ached at him. He realized he might have actually liked this girl.

I hope you liked it! I try not to picture young Tswift as Ali but I can’t help it.

#Billy Hargrove x oc #billy hargrove #billy hargrove headcanon #Stranger things #Stranger things fanfic #Billy x oc #billy hargrove fanfic #my fanfic #steve harrington #heather holloway #my oc ali

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hieludoboi · 4 years ago

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A List of Things I’d Like to do with You (Pt 1/9)

A/n- This was heavily inspired by @afterglowkuroo and their Ward One writing! I cried pretty hard but it, along with some of my own life experiences, inspired me to write this little fic

Links to the next two parts- Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A/n- Decided to make this a multiple part thing, uhm this was pretty hard to write, kinda cried a bit, also I listened to A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to be while writing this

Summary- Daichi had promised that they would be friends until the end. She was glad they could be.

Pairing- Daich/Fem! Reader

Trigger Warnings- Angsty, sad, depictions of panic attacks, crying, depictions of funerals, conversations of death, major character death, a little depressing, just very sad, I kid of cried while writing it :(

Daichi’s mother had always teased that he would stay by Y/n’s side until the end of time. At 3 years old, Daichi had met the love of his life. He didn’t know it yet, of course, but she was his other half. It seemed like every other day she was getting into trouble, and Daichi always came to her rescue when she did. She was brash, boisterous and always itching to stir up the pot of life, even if just a little bit.

Most people had found her a nuisance, a bumbling little spark that no one could seem to get control of, but Daichi... Daichi had become infatuated with her. With every word she spoke he could feel the tantalizing tendrils of fire lick at his skin. Anytime she was around he could feel the warmth and light of her being gently brush the side of his face. Some would say that Daichi was Icarus, and y/n was the sun, but he didn’t mind falling if it were at her hands.

The older they became, the more people hoped that Y/n would mellow out and give Daichi a break, but she only seemed to swell more each day with the sweet rippling heat of the sun itself. Anytime she caused trouble, Daichi was trailing behind her, an apologetic smile on his face as he cleaned up after her; and though people pitied him, Daichi couldn’t have been happier. She had found solace in his stable arms, and he had found tender warmth and joy in her teasing smiles.

Sometimes, when Daichi was awake at 4 in the morning, he would sit in his bed and think about how she was the soulmate he never got to have. He would sit and think about all the chances he had to tell her he loved her, he would sit and think about the countless amount of times they got in trouble before she left.

When Daichi woke up, the sun had yet to set, the birds were still perched and void of movement. His window was still slightly open from the night before and he could smell the fresh scent of rain and grass dancing among the gentle breezes of wind. For being such a mischievous person Y/n had loved calm and dewy mornings and the smell in the wind just before the sun rose.

It had only been a few months since her passing, and Daichi had only seen her when they had finally laid Y/n to rest. In some ways, he still couldn’t process the fact that she was gone. He could no longer feel the licking of dangerously tender flames against his skin, he could no longer hear the bite and tease in her voice as she teased him. In some ways, Icarus had lost his sun, Daichi had lost his ambition the day he lost her.

Leaving some flowers was the least that he could do for her, right? Daichi thought to himself as he pushed himself off of his bed. The floor beneath his bare feet was cold, a shock to the warmth beneath the blankets that she had gifted him one Christmas a few years ago. It was a Christmas that Daichi had remembered well. One where he had once again forgotten to get her a gift while enveloped in his studies. She had insisted it was okay, and to make up for it, he had invited her to a movie night at his house. That night he had held her tightly in his arms, staring at her with such a loving gaze while she happily watched the cheesy movie that played on the screen, its colors reflecting against the gray walls of his living room. Daichi had figured out that night that Y/n was the love of his life. He just wished he would’ve known it would have been one of their last holidays together.

A bouquet of Lisianthus flowers in his hand, Daichi stood at the entrance of the cemetery, his chest feeling tight, his throat practically collapsing in on itself. Daichi gasped, his knees buckling before he felt the shock of the wet grass against his legs. Standing at the entrance of the cemetery, seeing all the stones and flowers, it made Daichi remember the day of her funeral in almost vivid detail.

That day, it seemed like the sun was plucked from the sky and carefully put away. As he stood by the casket, the stench or chrysanthemums seemed to plague his nostrils. In that moment, Daichi realized just how much hatred one person could harbor for a single flower. He could hear the stifling stutters of hiccuping cries ringing against thundering pellets of rain. At one point the sermon mixed with the sobs, and the sobs blended in too well with the rain. Grass, rain, flowers, it all combined into a stench that Daichi could never forget.

He watched as her casket closed, his eyes glazed over in never ending pools of tears. He couldn’t move, as the casket lowered, his body froze. The sun was beginning to set with plans of never rising again. He watched as her family grabbed the wretched yellow and white flowers, holding them to their chests before gently setting them atop her lowering casket. Daichi couldn’t move. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye, he wasn’t ready to watch the sun set, he wasn’t ready to see her go. So he stood in silence, tears dripping down his face he stood behind everyone else as they somberly tossed or placed flowers into her grave. Daichi couldn’t watch, and so, as they begin to cover her casket, he looked away, shielding himself from the death of the sun.

Every time he tried to stand, everytime he tried to make his way towards her grave, his body seemed to shut down. He still wasn’t ready to say goodbye, and he knew that, but he wanted desperately to say hello. He wanted to hear her bright laugh as she recounted the days events. He wanted to hear her turn a mundane Sunday into a studio worthy drama, even if it were just one more time.

So Daichi stood, on wobbly legs of newborn deer he forced himself to walk to the splotched, wet and gray stone that sat comfortable underneath a grand oak tree. As Daichi approached the stone, he saw a head of gray hair sat atop a black coat and beige scarf. Suga. He had forgotten that she was close with the other third years as well.

“Hi.” Suga offered Daichi a soft smile with his whispered hello. When Daichi looked at Suga he saw the same hurt in his eyes, the same agony and despair. “Tanaka, Noya, Asahi, and Kiyoko left a little bit ago. I was going to leave too, but she hasn’t told me all of her little escapades and adventures she’s had up in the clouds yet.” As Suga spoke, his voice began to break, his words began to tumble from his lips, breaking off as they went.

Daichi stared at Suga for a moment or two, the words not registering in his mind before he broke down. Upon seeing Daichi break, Suga broke as well, his tears flowing down his face like they knew nothing else. Daichi no longer felt warm flames, he no longer felt the tender light, in that moment he felt only the beginning droplets of rain and the wails of the chilly wind that seemed to sing the harmony to the sad tunes of his sobs.

It seemed that all they could do for forty-five minutes was cry. For forty-five minutes, all Daichi felt was the clouds crying, dripping unto him and mixing with his own. When he looked up at her grave, he saw white and yellow chrysanthemums placed in the vases. It made his chest bubble with heat and anger. He couldn’t understand why they were still saying goodbye to her, acting like she was truly gone and couldn’t ever return in any way.

When Suga looked at his friend, he saw a pain he couldn’t describe. It was raw, ugly and broken among other things. Suga had lost a close friend, but Daichi had lost the one person he loved the most in life. Suga could tell just by the look in Daichi’s eyes that he still hadn’t processed that she was gone. His eyes spoke with untold stories, they brimmed over with stories waiting to be told. Escapades waiting to be illustrated. So Suga wiped his tears and gently took a hold of Daichi’s wrists, tugging him softly so he would sit next to him on the grass.

“I would have loved to hear about her last escapades you know? Her last moments of debauchery.” Suga explained, his eyes focused on the intricately carved stone. Daichi looked up at Suga, his eyes empty and void of light. Their last moments of mischief...

“There was a list. Eight things, there were eight things she wanted to do. I didn’t know she was ill, I didn’t realize why she wanted to do these things, but she just kept pushing the idea of these last eight things she wanted to do.” Daichi’s lips seemingly quirked up into the slightest hint of a smile at the memory of the list. “We did them in order, eight being something she wanted to try, and 1 being something she absolutely needed to do.” Suga nodded his head at the explanation. Daichi began to get a bit more comfortable on the grass, making sure his legs were stretched and not tucked.

“What was the first thing you guys did on the list?” Suga asked, a smile creeping onto his face at the sight of the light beginning to creep back into Daichi’s eyes.

“Well, our first escapade of those last 3 months began like this...”

#daichi #sawamura daichi #daichi sawamura #daichi x reader #daichi x y/n #daichi angst #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyu #haikyuu!!#suga #sugawara #sugawara koushi #kinda sad #actually really sad

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mydisasteracademia · 4 years ago

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SFW Alphabet: Izuku Midoriya

Aaaaand here’s everyone’s favorite green bean! Look at my baby, all grown up and ready to destroy people. (wipes away tear)

(Both of y’all are around 16 here. Don’t worry, nothing horrible here! Just two dorks in love.)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s incredibly affectionate to you. He’s definitely more of a verbal affirmation kind of guy (and if you identify as female he’s gonna be horribly flustered if you try to hug him). He always talks to you and encourages you, and his smile is just adorable.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Your friendship likely started when he was on a trip into town and he noticed you needed some help carrying a couple of boxes. The two of you hit it off right away (especially due to the fact that you were wearing an All Might shirt). As your best friend, he’s incredibly chatty and smiley. He loves hanging out with you and just talking about things. When you first showed him your Quirk, he was so starstruck that you both spent an entire lunch just talking about it. He’s so sweet it’s hard not to get along with him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’s so shy with physical affection it’s hard to cuddle with him without him fainting. Usually he only cuddles with you when he’s half-asleep and unaware of what he’s doing, and only then he pulls you to his side and all but curls himself around you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He can cook a little bit, and he can clean fairly well. At the moment, he doesn’t want to settle down. He wants to become a pro hero first. Judging by his commitment to the grind, the day he gets married and has a family may never come.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would kill him, but he’d set you down and gently explain why you can’t be together anymore. He would keep any and all tears at bay until he’s alone, and then he spends a night training and crying, trying to get your hurt expression out of his mind.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s very reluctant to commit. He’s still just a teenager, after all, and he’s got a whole career as a hero ahead of him. He doesn’t want to get married because he doesn’t want his loved ones in danger; he already keeps his mom fairly out of the loop just because he doesn’t want Shigaraki going after her.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s definitely a little more gentle with you in both ways. He really cares for you and doesn’t want to hurt you, especially while you’re a civilian. This can be a bit of a double-edged sword at times, but he more than makes up for it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Having grown up with a really affectionate mom, Izuku likes hugs. He can’t help but get horribly flustered every time you hug him, but he does love them. He’s not going to initiate it, but he hugs back tight enough so that you can’t be separated. Sometimes when he’s sleepy he’ll wander around and hug you, hiding his face in your neck as he mumbles something about his mother. It’s really cute.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take a lot for him to realize he caught feelings for you. Like, a lot. This boy is so oblivious it’s likely he’d never actually say it. It would take you telling him for him to start thinking about it, and even then it would be a while before he admits it back.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He can get fairly jealous, but depending on who it is he’s not going to act on it. Usually it comes about that he gets insecure about your relationship and is worried that you’ll find someone better than him. If he gets a seriously bad vibe about the person you’re with, he'll go up to you and try to walk you away.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If you kiss him right on the mouth, he’s going to pass out. If you kiss him on the cheek, he gets red as a tomato and starts stuttering. It can be irritating sometimes. He does like it, though; he’s just so shy he doesn’t initiate. Sometimes he’ll kiss your forehead absentmindedly.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s pretty good around little kids. He’s got a way about him that gets their attention. It’s so adorable seeing him interact with kids like Kota and Eri due to how obviously starstruck they are.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Whoa now, both of you are still first-years. I don’t imagine ever sleeping at the same place (unless he needs a place to crash at in the future). Going ahead a few years, when he’s already a pro, it’s likely he’d get up way before you, cook breakfast for you, eat, and leave -- leaving a note saying that he thanks you for your hospitality and he’s sorry to impose. What a gentleman.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Again, going into the future when he’s a pro, the only way he’s staying the night at your place is if something happens and he needs to stay. He’s incredibly apologetic as he thanks you for letting him stay. He retires to the guest bed when you retire to your room, and he’s out like a light.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He doesn’t reveal anything about OFA, of course, but sometimes he’ll give you tidbits about his life. He tends to be a bit more hesitant about his past, but he has lots of stories about the present that he likes to share.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He can be very patient, especially when it comes to his friends. It takes a fair bit to set him off. Usually it’s when he sees an injustice that his friendly smile drops and he gets serious. Or when Bakugo is being horribly rude again, though that’s more of a rarity these days.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He documents everything he can about you. Sometimes this accidentally creeps into stalking territory, but he’s usually good about realizing that and backing off. He tries to remember everything you tell him about yourself because of how close you are.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment? He has a lot that he considers his ‘favorites’. Picking just one, though, he fondly remembers the first time you told him you loved him -- he was in the hospital after a bad run-in with a villain, and you visited him with flowers and tears, demanding that he not be so reckless because you loved him. It really got him thinking about your relationship and kicked off his realization that he loved you back.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s incredibly protective of those he cares about, and you are definitely not an exception. He’s so protective he would rather pull a Nana Shimura than let you get hurt because of him, so you’ll have to do a lot of scolding to get him to stay put.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts his all into stuff between you two. Gifts for every date, he remembers every anniversary (and gives you presents for that too), occasionally brings you your favorite snack whenever he sees you -- there’s a reason he jotted down everything he knows about you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Like I said before, he’s so self-sacrificing that he would pull a Nana before ever letting you get targeted. It can be infuriating when he avoids you for a while due to this, and while he is incredibly apologetic it’s the first thing his mind goes to. His mumbling can be a bit irritating if you don’t have the patience for it. He can be a bit of a stalker towards certain people until they realize and tell him to quit. He’s so dedicated to being a hero that it’s often all he thinks about.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He can be concerned, but only when he looks at his scars. Sometimes he can be fairly self-conscious about how scarred his body is, especially when he gets depressed and anxious.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Honestly? At first, but he would push it down in time. He loves you so much that he would rather you not have to associate with him if it meant you were safe, and no matter how much that hurts, he would do it. It doesn’t mean he wouldn’t keep an eye on you from afar, but eventually he would be able to push the pain down and go about his duties.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Gets incredibly clingy when he’s half-awake. So much so that Bakugo is the only one who’s used to it the first time it happens in the dorms (and surprisingly doesn’t make a fuss). Whenever there’s a major exam, there’s at least one night where Izuku passes out on someone and will not stop clinging to them. Usually it’s Uraraka or Iida, much to the former’s excitement/embarrassment.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Nothing villainous. Nobody rude, or abusive, or manipulative. He’s had enough abuse from his peers, and now that he’s got a healthy friend group, he’s not going to tolerate that from even a s/o. Especially not anyone who’s against the hero world. As much as he has his doubts, he’s not going to go out with a villain.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Fairly regular sleeping pattern, given that he’s only a student. He goes to bed kinda late, but wakes up early to work out.

#sfw alphabet #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #deku

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lloydskywalkers · 5 years ago

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skywalker syndrome, pt. III

so!! in honor of being shut up inside under pseudo-quarantine in this wonderful day and age, here is an extra-long fic for you guys just because :D

(fiNE it would’ve been this long either way but i have somewhat of an excuse now)

anyways here’s the final part of skywalker syndrome, featuring things actually Getting Better for once! (and on that note i hope you’re all doing alright and keeping safe <3)

So, Lloyd decides later. He probably could’ve handled that better.

But you know what, everyone’s been telling him to open up about stuff. It’s not his fault all that stuff is ugly, and maybe explodes half the power lines on the block.

Lloyd bites his lip harder, and squeezes his eyes shut tight enough to force the welling moisture back. His eyes are sore and puffy enough already, and his head feels like it’s over-stuffed with cotton and ready to explode. More tears are the last thing he needs.

On top of like, everything else. Because not only does Sensei Wu now know that the person who chopped Lloyd’s arm off was, in fact, Lloyd himself, but he’s probably going to tell everyone else that little detail too, and then all of them are going to think Lloyd’s head is — is out of place, except for maybe Nya, until she hears from Sensei Wu about his complete meltdown, and then Lloyd’s going to lose everyone.

Lloyd’s chest hitches. He forces back the wave of nausea, and makes himself look at this analytically. On one hand, it’s a total betrayal that stings maybe a little more than it might have any other time, because he’s been getting hit with a lot of betrayals lately. And while it isn’t exactly unusual in their line of work, it does feel like a little more than usual this month in particular.

On the other hand — which is metal ‘cause it’s Lloyd’s, heh — there’s absolutely nothing left of Lloyd’s respect in the world to stop him from blaring N-pop as loud as his headphones will go while lying at the edge of the roof of their apartment, staring blankly into the nothingness of the night sky as he ignores the drying damp streaks all over his face, instead of going to evening practice like he’s supposed to. So at least that’s a plus.

But on — well, he guesses he needs someone else’s hand, now — he really should have known better than to assume he’d get away with that.

He manages to hear Kai before he sees him, but it’s a near thing. Kai’s footsteps are quiet even when he’s not trying to be, like the rest of them, and even now that Lloyd’s playlist has mellowed off into something quieter and instrumental, he almost misses him closing the rooftop door.

But then Kai comes and sits next to him, right near where Lloyd’s head is lying, and that’s impossible to miss. So Lloyd sucks in a bracing breath and tugs his headphones off, dully figuring that the only way he’s escaping this confrontation is to throw himself off the roof. Which, while admittedly kind of tempting, will probably only make Kai more concerned, and Lloyd’s been doing that enough lately.

He tilts his head, peaking at Kai from the corner of his eyes. Kai’s expression is unreadable, his eyes far away where they fix on the city vista. Lloyd bites his lip. He wants to hold out, to let Kai do the talking — but the anxiety churning in his gut becomes unbearable, so he ends up cracking first.

“Hi,” he croaks, painfully aware of how water-logged his voice still sounds. “I guess you saw the lights go nuclear, then.”

Kai gives a quiet snort. “Kinda hard to miss, bud.”

Lloyd winces, then sneaks another tentative glance at him. He doesn’t look like he thinks Lloyd’s crazy, but Lloyd also has zero luck whatsoever, so he’s not quite letting his guard down yet. “Yeah,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t need to apologize. S’fine with me,” Kai shrugs, like Lloyd didn’t just knock out all the power in their apartment. “Makes things exciting every once in a while, you know?”

“Ha,” Lloyd breathes. “Exciting.”

“Mm-hm,” Kai says, swinging a leg over the edge of the roof, his eyes still on the horizon. Lloyd shifts his head on the paved rooftop, watching as Kai’s leg sways back and forth over the dim city streets below.

“Not as exciting as your conversation with Sensei must’ve been, though.”

Lloyd’s stomach bottoms out, and he goes rigid, before swiftly sitting up. “Y-you heard that?” he manages to squeak out.

Kai shakes his head. “Not all of it. Mostly just raised voices. No one wanted to eavesdrop, or anything.”

Lloyd worries his lip more, feeling sick. That’s not the answer he’s looking for. “But you heard some of it.”

Kai exhales slowly, his shoulders slumping. He finally tears his gaze from the horizon, and faces him. Lloyd wants to duck away, but there’s no recrimination in Kai’s eyes. Just a whole lot of empathy, and doesn’t that make Lloyd want to start crying again.

“Yeah,” he finally sighs. “I heard enough.”

Lloyd bites his lip harder, and turns back to stare across the city, his eyes watering. “Oh,” he breathes.

Because — what else is he supposed to say? Kai, his big brother, who’s always been solid and steady, who’s always followed (well, mostly, but that one time was also Lloyd’s fault) him faithfully — Kai, who works so hard to keep them safe, and has literally bled for this job, got to hear Lloyd screaming about how much he hates being the Green Ninja, the team leader, like a selfish, ungrateful brat.

Kai, who wanted to be the Green Ninja enough to risk his life for it — who probably still wants to be the Green Ninja, somewhere in him, if Lloyd hasn’t totally soured the taste of it by now.

“I didn’t — I didn’t mean—” Lloyd stutters over the words, almost frantically. He’s breathing too fast, talking too fast, but he’s got to — he needs to make Kai understand. “I didn’t really — I love this team, Kai, I do, I love being the Green Ninja, it just — sometimes — and he — he went and—”

“Lloyd — Lloyd, breathe. C’mon, breathe with me.”

Kai’s hands are steady and grounding on his shoulders, even as Lloyd gasps desperately for air, desperately forcing his nerves back under control before the city gets another unexpected power outage.

Finally, Lloyd manages to match his breathing to Kai’s, slow and steady, until the world stops spinning quite as much. He gives a shuddering exhale, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“T-thanks,” he mutters.

Kai stares at him in concern, his eyes darker than usual in the night around them. He draws back a bit, blowing his breath out. Then, laying a hand on Lloyd’s good shoulder, he jerks his head back toward the rooftop exit. “Wanna make hot chocolate?”

Kai, as usual, always knows exactly what to say.

Lloyd nods fervently, following him back down inside with little hesitation. Their apartment’s quiet by now, mostly dark save for the moonlight, as everyone’s probably gone to bed. Lloyd can’t help but be overwhelmingly thankful for this.

The hallway floor they walk across is clean, too, even if the light sockets above are all empty. Someone must’ve swept the glass up, Lloyd thinks with a hot flash of guilt. Kai jabs at the kitchen switch as they leave the hall, and the lights flicker on, leaving Lloyd to blink in confusion.

“Emergency lightbulbs,” Kai says in explanation, with a faint, wry smile. “Zane’s been prepared. We’ve got a backup generator, too.”

“Oh,” Lloyd breathes, his face heating as he lets himself sink into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Well, it’s not like Zane was wrong. Having spare lightbulbs around is probably something Lloyd should start considering anyways, but he’s been thinking he wouldn’t need to worry about that anymore, since his powers were—

Well. ‘Were’ is the key word here. His powers were under control. They’re pretty glaringly not now.

The microwave goes off with a sharp ding, and Lloyd almost jumps from his skin before placing the sound. Kai is pulling two mugs from the microwave, before dumping the little hot chocolate packets in them. Despite himself, Lloyd wrinkles his nose.

“You make hot chocolate like a heathen.”

Kai scoffs quietly. “I make hot chocolate fast. No one’s got time to wait on a kettle. Besides,” he adds. “You’re one to talk. I know this is how you make tea when Sensei’s not around.”

Kai immediately winces at the mention, clearly regretting having brought Wu up. Lloyd’s shoulders tighten, but he forces himself to relax, exhaling slowly through his nose. It’s been long enough since the…argument…that most of his fiery anger has cooled into an aching ball of hurt instead. Which is typical, Lloyd’s garbage at staying that angry for very long, and normally he wishes he was better at it, but now…

There’s a fine thread of shame creeping in there as well, and maybe a little bit of guilt. And Lloyd’s already seen what his anger does. Maybe he can just hold a quiet grudge for a bit, and that’ll make his point.

“Peppermint tea tastes better in the microwave,” Lloyd finally replies, a little sullenly.

Kai snorts. “Zane would be horrified with you.”

“I’m sure he would,” Lloyd says, but the words are too heavy for it to come off like he wanted. Zane would be horrified at him, but not for his tea crimes. Lloyd’s still surprised Kai isn’t horrified at him. Maybe he is, and he’s just biding his time to accuse him, and any minute now—

“Is your arm hurting?”

Lloyd blinks, reorienting himself. “Huh?”

Kai nods his head toward him, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Belatedly, Lloyd realizes that he’s been digging his fingers into the groove where the prosthetic connects to his arm, clinging tightly enough that the scarring around it twists. Oh, he thinks blankly. So that’s why it’s starting to ache worse.

Lloyd gingerly peels his fingers from here they’re locked around his arm, wincing as he does. “A-a bit,” he admits. “I probably just made it worse. But uh, hey, I know it definitely works with my powers, now…?”

Kai doesn’t look amused. Lloyd lets his head hang, staring at the ground. He hates this. Normally he’s completely in synch with Kai, to the point where he knows exactly what’s going through his big brother’s head. But right now, uncharacteristically quiet and subdued as Kai is, Lloyd has no idea what the emotion brewing in his eyes might be.

There’s a quiet screech of wood across the floor, and Lloyd looks up to Kai dragging his chair closer, before setting both mugs of hot chocolate on the table in front of them.

“Can I see?” Kai asks, hesitantly. Lloyd pauses for a beat as the question registers, and Kai wrings the edge of one hand with the other. “I just, y’know…heat? It helps, sometimes, with other stuff, so maybe…”

“Oh,” Lloyd blinks. “Oh! Y-yeah, of course.”

Relief flashes across Kai’s face, which Lloyd vaguely notes as weird, before he adjusts his chair again, fingers carefully skirting the raised area of Lloyd’s t-shirt, where the metal edge of his prosthetic is. Lloyd suddenly wants to make another pun, because the silence is a tad too thick, and Kai’s so awfully subdued about everything. And whether he thinks Lloyd’s just an ungrateful brat who’s lost the last of his sanity and should never, ever lead them again or not, Lloyd needs to see something in his expression other than this — this sad kind of hesitance, because it’s not Kai. If he was even yelling at him, that would at least be—

“Let me know if it hurts at all,” Kai murmurs, and Lloyd is vividly reminded of Jay, when he’d looked at his arm. It’s the same tone of voice, all quiet and hesitant like they’re afraid Lloyd’s going to break.

Lloyd doesn’t know if it makes it any better, them thinking he hasn’t already. He’s not sure he even wants to know.

Another beat passes with Kai still unmoving, and Lloyd’s about to grasp at the weakest of puns he’s got before his hands finally knead into the tight muscles of his shoulder, starting high then moving lower, drifting carefully toward the edge of the prosthetic.

Kai lays a gentle hand on the juncture where skin meets metal, and Lloyd feels the slow increase of heat before it settles on something that’s not too hot to burn, but definitely warm. The warmth spreads steadily through the rest of his arm and shoulder, heating the tense muscles in Lloyd’s shoulder, and he feels the rigidness there finally, truly relax, in a way it hasn’t in — well, since he’d lost his arm, probably.

It’s like his shoulders are getting heavier and lighter at the same time, and oh, Lloyd’s forgotten how good Kai was at this. He’s still painfully cautious around the prosthetic, though, and the silence isn’t — it isn’t uncomfortable, per say, but Lloyd knows there’s so much Kai’s thinking but not saying, and he wants to hear it. It’s almost stressing him out, actually. He wants to say something — but Kai’s hand on his shoulder is warm, and slowly but surely that warmth reaches the terrible ache that’s been lingering where the prosthetic connects for so long, and Lloyd almost weeps in relief as the pain ebbs.

“H—they really did a number on you, huh,” Kai hisses sympathetically, as his hand skims the raised, jagged lines of scarring.

Lloyd gives a boneless little shrug, trying to force back anxiety as Kai reminds him of the somewhat important fact that he doesn’t quite know who actually did a number on him. “It’s not that bad,” he mutters. “No need to get so up in arms about it.” There. Finally, a decent pun.

Kai seems to disagree, but the odd coughing noise he makes is close enough to a laugh. “Good to know your sense of humor died when we got yanked out of the realm.”

Against his will, Lloyd’s shoulders stiffen, and his breath hitches. He immediately curses himself, because it was a joke. Kai was just responding to Lloyd’s own horrible pun, and just because he used the word died doesn’t mean he has any idea why that might set Lloyd off, because he was gone before he saw Lloyd crumple to his knees on the sky tram, and he has no idea how loud Nya screamed when she’d heard the news, and he will never know how close Lloyd was to letting himself sink in the river instead and not coming back up, because Kai is tired and hollow-eyed and stressed enough, and Lloyd will not let himself become any more of a burden to him when—

“—Lloyd please, what did I say, come back—”

“Fine!” Lloyd gasps, jerking back from where Kai’s appeared in his face, his eyes wide and frightened. “Fine, I’m fine, I’m sorry, I just—”

Kai doesn’t even have to say anything. He just looks at him, and Lloyd’s words die in his throat. He buries his face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, staring at the floor through his fingers.

Kai is quiet for another minute, then— “You’re really not fooling anyone, you know.”

Lloyd closes his eyes. “Nuh-uh.”

“Uh-huh,” Kai nods. “You’re giving it your best shot, I’ll give you that. But you’re really not okay, Lloyd.”

“I am,” he says, but it’s wavering.

“Lloyd.” Kai’s tone is just a little too serious, shot with the undercurrent of ‘you’re lying to me right now, and I know it, don’t make me call you out on it’. It makes Lloyd’s stomach twist, because he definitely does not want to talk about it, at all, but also—

Kai was dead. Maybe not for real dead, but Lloyd had thought he was, and that had done — that had done some really bad stuff to his overall emotional state. So hearing that familiar concern now, when he’d recently convinced himself that he’d never hear it again, is a clear sign that this particular conversation isn’t going to end well.

“It’s okay if you’re not alright,” Kai says gently, and oh no, Lloyd’s really going to cry again. “You don’t have to be.”

Cycling through his available role models for defense mechanisms, Lloyd settles on Jay for some reason, and responds with utterly unconvincing babbling. “Well, I mean, I kind of can’t be alright, because, you know, my right arm’s gone—”

Kai chokes, and Lloyd breathes out a laugh. He’s thinking he can just get all the building feelings out that way, but he’s wrong, because two seconds into the laugh it turns into crying instead.

“M’sorry,” he moans, digging the heels of his palms into his welling eyes. “I just — give me a m-minute, I’ll—” his voice cracks traitorously. “I’ll get it together, promise—”

Lloyd grabs for his mug in desperation, hiding his face as he gulps at it — only to choke on how cold the hot chocolate’s gotten.

Kai gives an aggrieved sigh, tugging the mug from Lloyd’s hands and wrapping his own around it where he holds it close to his chest, slowly re-heating it. He stares at the mug for a beat, then looks back to Lloyd, a dangerous kind of fire in his eyes.

“I told you I’d kill him for doing that to you,” he says, his voice deadly low. “I still mean it.”

Lloyd blinks. It takes him a minute, but then—

Oh. Oh, no. Lloyd feels sick. Kai’s given him a way out — he’s given him a perfect way out. But he can’t keep lying to his brother forever.

“I cut it off myself,” he blurts, rushed and out of breathe. “It-it wasn’t my dad. It was me. I cut it off.”

Kai drops the mug. He barely catches it in time, setting it down with a painful, halting slowness on the table. He stares at Lloyd, his mouth opening and closing.

“What?”

“There was a snake,” Lloyd says, and he’s talking too fast now, everything spilling out like a busted dam. “I don’t — I don’t know where from but it — it was like the one that bit my dad, you know? And I was — I was doing fine, I was fine, without my powers and everything, but I was so stupid, Kai, I wasn’t looking and it — it got me, and I—”

He sucks in breath almost desperately, forcing himself to calm down again. Kai is staring at him with wide eyes, his face terribly pale, but he isn’t running away yet. Lloyd still has a chance.

“I would’ve been like him. And I couldn’t,” he continues, fiercely. “I couldn’t turn into him, I wouldn’t. I’m not my dad, so I chose not to be, and I don’t — I don’t regret it.”

There’s really nothing more that he can say, to try and explain it to Kai, other than give him the whole rundown of depressing events, so he falls silent, his words echoing in the quiet of the kitchen.

“I’m sorry.”

Kai’s voice is ragged, cracking in the middle, and Lloyd is horrified to hear the wet, sniffled edge.

“What?” Lloyd blinks, taken aback. “No, Kai, this was definitely was my fault—”

“No,” Kai shakes his head, and Lloyd is even further horrified to see the sheen of water building at the edges of his eyes. Kai bites his lip hard enough to bleed, before continuing. “No, that’s not it. I’m sorry, Lloyd. I’m so sorry, I keep — I keep promising I’ll protect you, and I fail, every single time—”

“Kai, no,” Lloyd gapes at him. “No, you don’t. It’s not your fault this keeps happening, you try harder than anyone, and you — you always come through when it matters, you have no idea—”

“No!” Kai snaps, his head whipping up, his eyes wild. “You have no idea! You don’t know, Lloyd, you don’t even know how bad I messed up, when you needed — you don’t know—”

Kai hiccups on a sob, squeezing his eyes shut tight and tilting his head back, like he can physically stop himself from crying that way. “You don’t know. You— you’re what’s important, you and Nya and the guys, and I — Lloyd, I’m sorry—”

Lloyd stares at Kai, his mouth slightly agape. Kai’s trying, he’s trying so hard to stop it, but he’s doing about a good a job as Lloyd’s been at hiding his tears, which is…pretty terrible. And that’s — Kai is crying. Sure, Kai’s emotional, but he doesn’t — he doesn’t let himself cry, certainly not in front of Lloyd. He’s got this annoying thing about always seeming strong, but now he’s apparently run out of strength to keep it up, which kind of just feels like Lloyd’s shoved his heart into blender and hit go, and—

And Lloyd’s just staring at him, like a useless lump. FSM, he’s the worst little brother ever.

Lloyd snaps back into it, immediately crossing the distance that’s left between him and Kai, wrapping his arms around his brother’s middle and comforting him in the only way he’s got left — clinging to him as tightly as he can, like he can squeeze all the sadness out of him or absorb it like osmosis, or something, anything to help Kai like he always helps Lloyd, because—

Oh.

Lloyd speaks up quietly. “You’re really not okay either, Kai.”

Kai gives an awful, half-sobbing laugh. “You don’t say.” He digs his fingers tighter into his hair, eyes squeezing tight, and swears. “—so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall apart like — like—”

Lloyd gently tugs his hands away before he can tear his hair out, and wraps his metal arm around Kai’s shoulder, hoping it’s not painful. “It’s okay,” he tells him. “It’s okay, I promise. It’s okay if you’re not alright, either. It’s not fair to you. Stop holding yourself to some — some impossibly high level, Kai, it’s okay.”

“It’s not—”

“It is. I promise.” Then, exhaling shakily— “I’m sorry I scared you. Both back then, and now. I’m going to be better about that. I’m gonna be stronger.”

Kai gives a watery laugh. “Please. You’re the strongest person I know,” he says, thickly. “You cut off your own arm. How am I ever supposed to top that?”

Lloyd snorts wetly. “Please don’t ever try to,” he says, his voice clogged. “It sucks.”

Kai just gives a choking kind of laugh, before dropping his head onto Lloyd’s shoulder weakly, his breath shuddering out. Lloyd holds him best he can, trying to channel whatever Kai-ness he can into it, because that’s normally what works best on Lloyd.

When the…situations are reversed. Which is…a lot.

But Lloyd can do his part now, hugging Kai as tightly as he can, like it’ll put him back together and keep him there, all the pieces of his big brother that make up one of the strongest people on earth he knows. Like it’ll glue them both back together, somehow, like it’ll fix Lloyd’s arm and Kai’s heart and the whole team and the city and the now-icy cold hot chocolate Lloyd is going to wish he’d gotten to drink later.

Lloyd knows the chances are slim. But for now, at least they can pretend.

And who knows. Maybe it’ll — maybe this will help. Maybe they can duct tape themselves better after this. Who knows.

He got Kai back from the dead. Lloyd’s down for anything — anything — to make sure he stays fine the rest of his life.

************************

Lloyd never does find out exactly what Kai was trying to apologize for that night. But he’s got a fairly good idea he knows what it is already, and voicing it isn’t gonna help.

But even though they ended up staying up way too late, missed practice the next morning, and totally ruined the hot chocolate with how many times they tried to reheat it, Lloyd thinks it might have worked, a little bit.

He doesn’t feel great about the whole situation with his uncle — pretty awful, actually. Sensei’s been avoiding him now, which works out okay, because Lloyd’s avoiding him, and he’s not sure if this is a good sign or a bad one. But…he feels better, on the whole, than he did. A lot less like his head is coming unscrewed, because if he’s got Nya and Kai sticking by him now, even after everything, then it’s not as hard to believe the rest of the team will, too.

Lloyd’s aware that this is a bad mindset to keep, because it’s not like — it’s not like they’re choosing sides, or anything. He’s not about to start a one-man-war on Sensei Wu just ‘cause he went behind Lloyd’s back and yanked the choice right out of his hands like every other choice his family’s yanked from him, but — but Lloyd’s not Garmadon.

He’s Lloyd, and Lloyd doesn’t storm off to the Underworld or level half the city when things get rough. He sticks it out, because he’s not a venom-devoured drama queen. He made sure of that.

(He doesn’t blow up any palaces or terrorize villages either, or say, wake the dead, because while his coping methods might not be great, at least murder isn’t his go-to resort.)

He does, however, skip practice again, which is quickly becoming an awful habit. But his arm hurts this morning, a bit more than usual because he slept on it wrong, and the idea of getting his butt handed to him in practice over and over again because of it is almost enough to make Lloyd tear up in humiliation all over his cereal.

But he doesn’t, because he’s done crying. He’s done being pathetic and — and a dead weight, and a poor excuse of a leader.

He’s also, like, really done being this dehydrated all the time. It sucks. He’d forgotten the killer headaches it leaves you with.

So Lloyd ignores the alarm going off on his watch and shoves another spoonful of cereal into his mouth instead, flexing his grip around the pencil he’s doodling over the latest headlines with. He immediately wishes he’d taken the grocery run last evening instead of Zane, because the health cereal he’s picked for them is disgusting, where’s the chocolate—

“Hey, Lloyd.”

Cole’s voice shouldn’t be a surprise, because it’s Cole, non-threat — but it’s been quiet in the apartment this morning, and Lloyd almost has a heart attack on the spot. Instead, he promptly chokes on his cereal, and spends the next half-minute hacking it up and coughing milk from his nose.

“Are you dying?” Cole asks, now standing in front of him, sounding mildly concerned.

“I’m alive,” he wheezes, wiping at his face. “Mos’ly.”

Cole’s lips quirk up in amusement, but he quickly smooths the expression out, nodding at him.

“You busy?”

Lloyd glances at his half-eaten bowl of cereal, then at the half-completed dragon he’d been sketching on the edges of the newspaper, another idea for his arm. “Not really…?”

“Good,” Cole says briskly, tossing his green hoodie toward him. Lloyd yelps, barely managing to catch it with before the jacket meets a soggy fate in his cereal bowl. “Let’s go out, then.”

“Go out — what? Wait Cole, I don’t — Cole!”

Lloyd finally scrambles after his brother, catching him as he swings the door open, half-tangled in his jacket as the right sleeve catches on his prosthetic. “Where are we—” He tugs in frustration at the sleeve. “—going, you’re supposed to be—” Another vicious yank. “—at practice right now.”

“And you’re not?” Cole sounds amused, though, and Lloyd glares at him, one arm pinned behind him by a sleeve, his other arm twisted somewhere over his head, tangled hopelessly in the other sleeve.

Cole bites his lip, an obviously large grin threatening to break out across his face. “Do you need help?”

“Yes,” Lloyd grinds out, his cheeks flaming.

Cole fails at holding back the snicker this time, but Lloyd can forgive it for now, since he also takes pity, untangling Lloyd from his sweatshirt prison. Once Lloyd’s finally figured out how to get his sleeve over the prosthetic — and man, the temptation to hack all the right sleeves off of everything he owns is getting stronger by the day — he follows Cole out their apartment complex, heading off to…wherever, Cole is taking him.

“Out,” Cole shrugs, as they carefully step over another Colossi-sized hole in the street, maneuvering past the chunks of concrete the workers still haven’t cleaned up.

“Yeah, that’s specific,” Lloyd mutters, ducking his head and pulling his hood further over his face as they pass by other pedestrians.

Cole’s got his hood up as well, but he’s always stood out a little more than Lloyd. A little (lot) taller than Lloyd, too, so they still get a few curious looks. Not as many as he’s been used to, though, when he was running around in the blazoned green Resistance gi all the time, so Lloyd will take what he can get.

He’s had enough pitying looks to last him a lifetime, and that was before he showed up on primetime Ninjago City television.

“You’ve been cooped up too long,” Cole says, eyeing him. “You gotta stop hiding away, get back out in the world.”

Lloyd bristles. “I went to the gas station with Kai just the other night!”

“Yeah, at two a.m.” Cole sighs — then yelps as he nearly runs face-first into a broken street light, still dangling by the slimmest of twisted metal. Lloyd breaks into snickers at his expression, and Cole makes a face at him.

“My point is, the city’s not on fire anymore,” Cole continues, and Lloyd’s stomach drops as his voice turns soft. That means he’s probably about to say something like— “No one’s hunting you down anymore, Lloyd. You don’t have to keep hiding.”

Lloyd looks down, kicking at a loose chip of concrete. “Yeah,” he says, dully. “I know.”

He does, really, because no one’s jumped out and threatened to drag him off to his father lately, but it’s just — it’s hard to shake. It’s hard to shake the idea that someone’s out there, eyeing his every move, just waiting to rip his world to pieces. It’s hard to shake the idea that any one of these people could be hiding a knife behind their back, a vendetta behind a smile.

He swallows. “I’m working on it.”

“Yeah,” Cole says, and his voice is downcast now, too. “I guess we all kinda are.”

Lloyd bites his lip. There’s a whole lot of understanding in Cole’s voice, but it figures. They’ve all been hit hard by, well, everything that’s happened recently, but Cole’s always tended to see things the same way Lloyd does — with the eyes of a leader, always planning, always looking ahead, and always looking back on what went wrong. And the way he watches the people around them, with a look in his eyes that’s painfully familiar, says a lot more than anything else.

“But ah, to actually answer the question,” Cole speaks up, a bit hesitantly. “I thought, uh, maybe we could go to the hospital.”

Lloyd blinks rapidly. “The hosp— why?” A spark of irritation flares in his chest. If this is about his arm…he’s told them, many times, that he’d gotten it looked at. Many. Times. There’s nothing else any doctor could do about it that Pixal can’t, because all they can do at this point is prescribe him more pain meds, and Lloyd is getting sick of those, so—

“I was just thinking, maybe you could, uh…visit the kids. If you felt up to it.”

Lloyd pauses full-stop in the street, double-taking. “Why?” Cole turns to him, and he quickly continues. “That’s, I mean — not that I don’t want to visit kids, I-I’d be fine with that, no problem, but like — why would they want to see me? Now?”

Because sure, Lloyd’s always down for visiting kids, especially at the hospital — that’s where he met Nelson. But he also — he hasn’t really been showing up on TV in the….best light, lately. Sure, he gave that one speech, but other than that, the most his name has come up is in direct relation to his father, who very recently destroyed half the city, and probably put a whole lot of people in the hospital.

Besides, Lloyd thinks glumly, his left hand kneading reflexively at his shoulder, clutching the edge of the prosthetic. He’s not exactly an inspirational figure right now, much less a role model. More like a model of exactly how not to live your life—

“Because they’ll want to see you,” Cole shrugs, matter-of-factly. “And ‘cause I think some of them could learn something from you.”

“Learn what?” Lloyd breathes, almost laughing. “Cole, I can’t even teach you guys anything.”

“Okay, one, that’s a lie,” Cole says, firmly. “We learn a lot from you, give yourself some credit. You just have to be at practice for us to learn.”

Lloyd flushes, looking down, but Cole nudges him, forcing his gaze back up.

“And two, you’d be surprised.” A wry smile pulls at the edges of his mouth, before he sighs. “Also, I’m kinda hoping you’ll learn something, too.”

It’s Lloyd’s turn to make a face.“Oh, great. So it’s that kind of visit.”

Cole rolls his eyes. He pauses, his shoulders hunching up a bit, looking hesitant again. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“Nah,” Lloyd sighs, heavily. “I’m not gonna turn down visiting kids in the hospital, what kind of monster do you think I am.”

“I don’t,” Cole says, and his eyes are a little too knowing. “But I do think you’re entitled to choose whether you’re up for it or not.”

And oof, there goes Lloyd’s breath whooshing out of his chest again. “How did you—”

“Also,” Cole says, before Lloyd can continue. “You’re entitled to a meltdown every once and a while, too.”

Lloyd goes scarlet. “I — the other night — it was an accident, I just—”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cole steamrolls over his stuttering airily. Then, just as casually— “There are always spare lightbulbs in the lower left pantry shelf, by the way. Just in case you ever needed to know.”

“Got it,” Lloyd murmurs, ducking his head.

“And half the city’s transformers already got obliterated by the Colossi, so one patch job isn’t a whole lot. Just in case, you know, someone was thinking of beating themselves up for it. Which they shouldn’t.”

Lloyd’s cheeks are flaming. “I-I got it,” he stammers out. Trying to regain some semblance of composure, because he’s been feeling like a nine year-old again way too many times this week as it is, he clears his throat. “I do want to go. Thank you for — for asking, but I do.”

Cole’s expression lightens in relief. “Good,” he says, clapping him on his left shoulder. “Because I might have already told the hospital we were coming.”

“Of course you did,” Lloyd sighs, as they round another street corner, the hospital coming into view.

“Hey, I happen to know my teammates,” Cole shrugs, grinning. “You’re predictable.”

“Of course I am,” Lloyd groans. “You know, I really…”

Lloyd’s train of thought completely derails and plummets straight off a cliff right then, so he trails off in a strangled silence as his mouth goes bone-dry.

Oh. He’d forgotten the view the hospital gave you, of…certain areas…of the city.

“Lloyd?”

Cole’s voice is muffled, filtered weirdly like it’s underwater. Lloyd’s vision tunnels, seeing but not really seeing as he stares at the blank spot in the horizon. He remembers the building that used to be there, twenty-four stories high and just blocking the corner of the sunset in the evenings. He remembers the last time he saw it standing, from halfway across the city, Skylor unconscious in his arms and his father furious. He remembers watching it fall.

He wonders if they ever found—

“Lloyd?”

Cole’s voice is hesitant, laced with concern. Lloyd blinks wildly, tearing himself from the memory, and shudders.

“Let’s go,” he says, shaking his head, as if he can shake the past off. As if he can shake her off, and everything she’s left him with.

He doubts he ever will, but Cole’s hand on his shoulder as they climb the steps outside is warm and grounding, and a reminder that, at least, she didn’t take everything from him.

The front desk attendant at the hospital lets them through without batting an eye, which is a nice change, Lloyd thinks petulantly to himself. He’s quickly tugged from any more thoughts like that, because Cole drags him straight to the kids’ ward, and Lloyd’s suddenly left desperately trying to remember where, exactly, his everything-is-bright-and-happy expression decided to disappear to, because the kids all light up like fireworks when they see him, and Lloyd’s kind of just staring weakly back.

Cole saves him, stepping in front and greeting the kids with bright enthusiasm, which gives Lloyd enough time to pull himself back together. He manages to stutter out some decently happy stuff, but then the kids start talking about the Resistance, and how awesome he looked on TV, and did he totally kick his father’s butt, and was it so cool getting to fight like that, and they were all rooting for him during the prison fight—

Lloyd’s torn between running for the window, and asking them all who in the world let them watch the prison battle, because he’s pretty sure that was not a kid-friendly kind of thing. Instead, he stammers out that yeah, it was pretty cool, and sure, he kicked his — Garmadon’s butt, all while pulling his sweatshirt sleeve further over his arm as it throbs with the constant, painful reminder that he’s a total fraud.

Cole saves him, once again.

“Hey, guys, we’ve got time to talk to all of you, and — yeah, sure bud, we can sign that for you, but Lloyd wants to talk to a few of your friends in particular, okay?”

Lloyd blinks rapidly as Cole steers him away, his words registering. “Wait, what?” He tries to yank his arm from Cole’s hold. “Cole, wait, who do you want me to — wait, I don’t have anything prepared—”

“You won’t need to,” Cole says firmly, then nods at the kid he’s been dragging him over to. Lloyd glares at Cole, huffing out a sigh before craning around his shoulder.

“I don’t—” Lloyd freezes, his mouth open. He shuts it.

The kid Cole’s been dragging him to is sitting by himself toward the back of the common room. The look in his eyes is eerily familiar, hollow and empty-looking where he’s slumped on the couch. He’s leaning awkwardly to one side, and it takes Lloyd a minute — too long, really — before he spots it.

Oh, Lloyd thinks, his breath whooshing out from his chest. He gets it now.

He ducks out from behind Cole, his feet taking him forward almost unconsciously, and he carefully approaches the kid.

“Hey,” he says gently, going down on a knee in front of the kid. “I like your socks.” He nods at the Starfarer-emblazoned ones he’s got on, where his feet dangle over the couch edge.

The kid looks at him, his eyes widening, then back toward his socks. His eyebrows pull into a sad little glare. “I can’t wear my shoes,” he says, hollowly. “I can’t tie ‘em. Not with my…” He trails off, and turns the glare on the empty sleeve of the hospital gown that hangs from his left shoulder. “My arm,” he finishes, quietly.

Something in Lloyd’s heart twists with painful familiarity. “Yeah, I get that,” he says, ruefully. The kid squints at him, and Lloyd exhales, before tugging the sleeve of his hoodie off. The kid’s eyes go huge, and Lloyd swallows, before continuing, smiling shakily at him. “See? I couldn’t even buckle my armor on the first week, and that was after I got the prosthetic. It’s tough stuff.”

The kid continues to stare at the prosthetic, his eyes looking like they’re about to pop out of his head. “Your arm’s gone,” he whispers. “Just like mine.”

“Yeah,” Lloyd breathes out. He rolls up his sleeve, pointing to the edges of the prosthetic. “Lost it right about…here.”

The kid’s eyes rove over the metal arm, lingering on his and Nya’s designs, before zeroing in on where the scarring starts. “And you’re still a ninja?” The kid’s voice is still hushed, almost awestruck.

“Sure am,” Lloyd says, with a crooked smile. “Team leader and everything.” Even if he’s been a pretty awful one lately, his mind supplies.

The kid’s lips part, and he hesitates before speaking again. “A-and you can still…do all that stuff?” he asks, his voice painfully tentative. “Even with…even with your arm?”

Lloyd’s throat goes tight, but he nods. “Yeah,” he says, thickly. “Yeah, I can — I can still do ninja stuff. Took me a bit, but I can tie my shoes, too. And I can still do, uh, handsprings and everything.”

A myriad of expressions crosses the kid’s face, shock then joy then something a whole lot like hope, and Lloyd suddenly realizes why the empty emotion he’d seen in the kid’s eyes when he walked in looked so familiar. It’s the same hollow look Lloyd’s seen looking back at him in the mirror every stupid day since—

And now it’s gone, replaced by something bright and shining.

“Awesome,” the kid says, his voice hushed and reverent, like Lloyd’s just given him some untold kind of gift.

Lloyd has to swallow again, and blinks frantically. “My — my name’s Lloyd, by the way,” he says, holding his hand out — the left one, so it’s not awkward for the kid. The kid grins, in a way that clearly says, ‘I know, duh, moron’. “What’s yours?”

The kid beams. “Max,” he says, gripping Lloyd’s arm and shaking enthusiastically, wobbling a bit off-balance.

“Nice to meet you, Max,” Lloyd smiles back. Then he goes serious, meeting the kid’s eyes. “Listen. All that stuff — you can do it, too. Tie your shoes and everything. It’ll take a bit, but you can, I promise.”

Max stares at him, listening intently, his eyes bright, and Lloyd suddenly feels a terrible amount of pressure.

“But you—” he falters, then sucks a breath in before continuing. “Don’t do it by yourself, okay? You’ve got — you’ve got family, right?”

He immediately wants to kick himself, because what a stupid question, has Harumi taught him nothing—

The kid nods, and Lloyd exhales heavily in relief. “Okay. Good. Let them help you. Family and friends, and the doctors here — they care about you. So even — even if it feels annoying sometimes, or you start thinking that maybe they just think you’re too weak, you gotta let them help you.”

Lloyd pauses, and thinks of Nya, her snarky humor and unwavering strength, the long nights they’d stay up together as she redesigned his arm. He thinks of Jay, coming up with new puns for him and leaving the pain meds bottle on the lowest shelf. He thinks of Zane, of actually listening to him and adjusting his entire training schedule; of Kai, sitting up all night with him and never holding his outbursts against him. He thinks of Cole, sewing the team back together with infinite patience and dragging him out to the hospital because he knew exactly what Lloyd needed to see.

Lloyd thinks about how completely, utterly terrible his life would be without them.

“‘Cause they care about you, and you — you can do it, but you can’t do it without them. You need people who care about you in your corner, so don’t ever take them for granted.”

Max’s eyes have widened a bit, but he nods. “I won’t,” he says, solemnly.

“Good,” Lloyd says, then smiles wryly. “You’ll get the hang of it a lot faster than I did, at that rate.”

“No way, you’re the Green Ninja,” Max scoffs, and Lloyd snorts despite himself. He shakes his head, turning to exchange looks with Cole—

—only to pause, because Cole’s eyes are horribly shiny, all suspiciously watery as he sniffs a bit.

‘You sap’, Lloyd mouths at him, his eyebrows drawing together in accusation. Cole flashes him a gesture, neatly hidden from the other kids behind his hand, and Lloyd is about to descend on him for the audacity, because he always lectures Lloyd for doing that, when Max is suddenly tugging furiously at his hand.

“Wait, wait, you gotta meet my friend!” he says, bouncing from his seat in reckless energy. Lloyd steadies him as he wobbles, and the kid beams at him. “She lost her leg ‘cause she’s real sick, and she’s been pretty sad about it too, but wait until she sees you—! She’s gonna freak out, come on, come on—”

Lloyd gives a startled laugh, but he lets Max drag him forward, tiny fingers locked around his metal ones. Cole waves to him where he’s on the floor, letting kids climb over all him, and he’s got the worst of knowing smiles on his face as they pass.

Lloyd casts his eyes skyward. Cole’s gonna be so smug about this later, but watching the look on Max’s face as he introduces him to kid after kid, Lloyd really can’t bring himself to mind.

******************

They stay a whole three hours longer than they were supposed to, but Max falls asleep on Lloyd’s shoulder by the time they have to go, so the nurses can’t get too upset about them staying way past visiting hours.

“Because you two were adorable, seriously, it’d be like kicking a puppy. I can’t believe I didn’t get any pictures,” Cole shakes his head, looking disappointed in himself.

“Good,” Lloyd says fervently. “Kai would never let me live it down.”

“Aw, he’d frame it on our wall, though.”

“Yeah, and then I’d never live that down!”

Cole snorts loudly, and Lloyd huffs, bouncing down the steps as they exit the hospital. They fall into comfortable silence for a bit, and Lloyd spares a look at Cole from the corners of his eyes, biting his lip. His good mood is fading as they leave the hospital behind them, stepping out into the city evening, the streetlights just flickering on, bright and shiny as they’ve recently been repaired — reminding him.

“What you said, before we went in,” he finally asks headlong. “About…being entitled to choose, and stuff.” Lloyd swallows, then continues. “Was that, um. Did you happen to maybe, like, hear…”

“You and Sensei Wu’s talk?” Cole finishes with a wince, and uh oh, Lloyd can hear the capital ’T’ emphasis on talk. “Our apartment’s really small, Lloyd.”

Oh, no. “H-how much did you hear?” Lloyd asks, almost afraid of the answer.

Cole carefully avoids his eyes, his mouth titled downwards in guilt. “Kind of…everything?”

He definitely should’ve been afraid of the answer, Lloyd thinks numbly. “But Kai said you only—” he pauses, meeting Cole’s sympathetic gaze. His stomach turns. Oh. “Right. Okay. Kai was just trying to make me feel better.”

“He likes to do that, if you haven’t noticed.”

Lloyd grimaces, feeling a stab of his own guilt. “Yeah."

“He’s not the only one,” Cole says, pointedly. “I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad. We’d all like you to feel better.”

“Yeah, well—” Lloyd freezes. A thought suddenly hits him, with a swooping kind of horror. If they heard everything, like everything everything—

“Cole, the part when I said — the part where I said I hated this family,” he stammers frantically. “I didn’t mean — I meant my blood one. Only my blood one, I didn’t — you guys are—”

“Lloyd.” Cole’s hand is gentle on his shoulder, halting them where they stand on the empty street that runs along the river. “I get it. And I know you didn’t mean it, about your family. Either of them.”

Lloyd’s mouth turns downward. “You guys are the only family that matters to me,” he says, stiffly.

Bitterly, his mind supplies, not without a sting, and would it shut up, he’s trying to — to emotionally distance himself here—

Cole’s eyes dart away briefly, something immeasurably sad flashing in them, and almost too empathetic.

“Lloyd, you — you have us. You’ll always have us. And I’m not — I’m not saying you should feel one way or another, ‘cause I know you’re hurt. And you have every right to be, that’s very justified.”

Lloyd looks down. “But,” he says, dully.

“But,” Cole exhales. “But lying to yourself can hurt, too. And I know — look, it was super uncool. That was low of him, and undoubtedly in the wrong. We’re all with you on that. But Lloyd, you know he — you know he cares about you, right? He didn’t… he didn’t do it to hurt you. That wasn’t his intention.”

“How do I know,” Lloyd snaps, bitterly. “How am I supposed to know, Cole. How many times am I supposed to tell myself my mom didn’t mean to leave me, my dad didn’t mean to hurt me, my uncle didn’t mean to — to—”

Lloyd breaks off, his stupid traitor eyes threatening to run as he sniffs. He blows his breath out, steadying himself. Cole, wonderful person that he is, does not comment on any of this.

“I’m just tired,” he finally whispers, staring out with hollow eyes on the river, the dark water glinting in the streetlights. Cole’s hand drops onto his shoulder again, and he squeezes once.

“I know, bud,” he says, sounding horribly young and yet so much older than he should, all at the same time. “I know. I am too.”

Lloyd doesn’t say anything to that, but he doesn’t really need to. The silence is enough, for them — it’s always been, with Cole. There are some things you can say, that you can talk out with words or powers or weapons, but there are some things that you just—

You don’t really get it, until you find it in you to call yourself leader. There aren’t exactly words for how it feels like, playing chicken with your friends’ lives and your family’s lives and the entire city and country on the line.

You just…feel tired.

Cole’s breath hitches, and his hand tightens on Lloyd’s shoulder, carefully around the edges of the prosthetic, but not in a way that grates. It’s normal Cole-careful, not the brittle kind scared-careful everyone’s been about it.

“Just…take it from someone who’s let a family argument fester,” he says quietly. “It doesn’t stop hurting. Not until you face it. However that ends is up to you, but. It helps.”

Lloyd swallows, and the river in front of him blurs, the streetlights turning hazy in his vision. He glances at Cole, then finally meets his eyes.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Cole nods. He hesitates, then something in his expression steels.

“And if I’m wrong, I’ll help you sign the — the disownment papers, or whatever, myself,” he adds, suddenly fierce. “You can have my last name, instead. Or Kai and Nya’s, or — or we’ll all mash ours together into some garbled mess that’s yours, and you can have like, five or six whole step-parents, and it’ll be great.”

The laugh that startles out of Lloyd is so unexpected he almost makes himself jump, but it’s genuine. A little wet, maybe, but it’s the staggering feeling of relief Lloyd’s been looking for, been wanting, been needing, and—

“It’s worth it,” he blurts out. “It’s worth being the Green Ninja for you guys alone. I’d do it a hundred times if I just got to have you, because — because—”

“Aw, Lloyd,” Cole says, and he wraps him in a full hug this time. “It doesn’t work like that. You don’t need to be the Green Ninja to have us. You’d still have us if you weren’t. You’d still have us if you were just some bratty little kid we yanked from the street. You’d still have us if you only had one limb left and couldn’t even hold a sword, you’d still—”

“I get it,” Lloyd giggles wetly into Cole’s elbow.

Cole shakes his head, and squeezes Lloyd tightly. “And we’re not planning on quitting anytime soon,” he continues, his voice turning serious, and a little too knowing. “So don’t go selling us short, and think we’d die on one shattered ship. We knew what we were getting into, kiddo. We’ve always known.”

Lloyd sucks in a sharp breath, his heart stuttering. A whole bunch of questions are bubbling up in his chest, but they don’t quite make it through his throat, because it’s closing up again, so he just clings back to Cole and tries not to let his eyes water too much. Oh. Lloyd didn’t even have to tell him. Cole already knew.

That’s Cole for you though, Lloyd guesses.

************************

Lloyd has every intention of talking to Sensei Wu. Really, he does — because for one thing, it's caused a painfully obvious rift in their team dynamic which could get them into serious trouble if another threat breaks out, and going by their track record, that could happen like, tomorrow. And for another, they’re all living in an incredibly cramped apartment right now, and while Lloyd is perfectly fine avoiding his uncle by parkouring around the house like an extreme game of the floor is lava, Nya’s probably getting sick of having to get him unstuck from the air vents, so — confrontation it is.

Except if Lloyd’s going to force himself through the agony of that, he’s going to get it all out of the way at once. Besides, he owes his team an explanation, anyways. Probably…several explanations. A whole lot of words, that’s for sure.

So Lloyd sucks it up, finishes cutting off the sleeve on the right side of his pre-Resistance gi so it actually fits, and for the first time since the guys got back, feels somewhat like a shadow of the leader he’s supposed to be as he calls a team meeting. This brief burst of confidence is thoroughly shot through by Nya, who immediately dubs it the “aha, I see it’s time we all talked our issues out” meeting, but — well, it’s not like she’s wrong.

Besides, they needed it. And in hindsight, Lloyd realizes he’s been worrying about all the wrong things.

“I can’t believe you cut your own arm off and didn’t even like, take the opportunity to make a hundred Star Wars jokes. You realize there’s no escaping the Luke Skywalker jokes now, right?”

“For the last time, Luke didn’t cut his own arm off. I’m way more hard core than he is.”

“Yeah, for a maniac. You’re both on full-time babysitting. We leave for five minutes and you go around losing limbs and breaking arms, huh.”

“I can’t believe we ever mourned your deaths.”

“I can’t believe you thought we were dead and didn’t say anything!”

“He’s right, the psychological trauma stemming from such events could be—”

“If any of you say traumatizing again, I’m using the taser feature on my arm.”

“I can’t believe Nya built that in for you.”

“I can’t believe you let Uncle Wu flirt with some random lady in the First Realm.”

“He wasn’t flirting with her, would you let that drop—”

“Alright, alright! Don’t worry, I’ve hit my limb-it. Heh, get it—”

He’s met with a chorus of groans at that, and Jay chucks a couch cushion at his head. But it brightens the already-lightening mood more, weary sort of grins replacing the solemn expressions that everyone’s been wearing through most of this conversation, so Lloyd counts it as a total success. Even if none of them appreciate real humor, he thinks to himself, miffed.

“Okay, real talk, though,” Cole finally speaks up over the rest of them, as their scattered conversation dies down. He meets Lloyd’s eyes. “If you want us to come with you when you talk with your uncle, we’ll be happy to, you know.”

A tight kind of knot forms in Lloyd’s throat. Your uncle, not Sensei. He’d never dream of asking them to pick a side, but—

“Yeah, we’ve all got your back,” Jay nods, miming a punch at the air, before making a face. “You have like, this really awful habit of going all ‘oh no, I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault Sensei Wu, ignore everything I said even though it was super valid’—”

Lloyd chucks the couch cushion back at him. “I do not do that,” he scowls.

Nya cuts him a pointed look. “Yes, you do.”

Lloyd glares back. “Do not.”

“She’s right, you do,” Cole echoes.

“Kinda do, bud,” Kai sighs.

Lloyd looks to Zane, pleading. Zane just shakes his head, pityingly. Lloyd sighs. “No faith in me at all,” he says, forlornly.

“We’ve got total faith in you,” Cole says. “You just need to have faith in yourself.”

Lloyd groans, leaning back so he’s fully sprawled across the living room floor. “You sound like Sensei Wu’s lesson book.”

Nya pokes him in the ribs, and Lloyd jerks away, yelping. “Listen to him, Lloyd. Not that I’m against sudden passionate outbursts, but…healthy talks. We need to work on healthy talks.” Her voice wavers, and Lloyd glances up at her. She looks down, then holds her head up, taking a deep breath.

“Which is why, when this blows over, I’d — I’d like to talk about Nadakhan,” she announces, a little unsteadily, but determined. “For — for real, this time.” She gives Lloyd a shaky smile, and he beams back, trying not to look too shiny-eyed about it. Going by her expression, he’s failed, but she spares him the embarrassment and turns her attention elsewhere. “Jay?”

Jay’s shoulders almost go boneless, and an expression of what could be relief flashes across his face. “I’m down if you are,” he exhales.

“Wait, what exactly are we talking about with Nadakhan, here?” Cole says, suddenly wildly concerned. Lloyd feels a brief spark of victory, and not a small amount of vengefulness at the look on Nya’s face — it’s about time someone else is on the chopping black.

“Nothing,” Jay says, waving his arms. He blinks, then suddenly backtracks. “Wait, I mean — it’s definitely something, but, uh — Nya said later! So we’ll talk later, haha?”

“Jay—”

“Hey,” Kai catches him off to the side, as the others dissolve into bickering. His eyes are serious, but the dark circles aren’t quite as bad. Not as awful as they’ve been, which is the best Lloyd can ask for right now, he guesses. “You’ve got this, no problem,” Kai continues, under his breath so the others can’t hear. “But on the off chance you want out, at any point? All you gotta do is yell for me and I’ll swoop in for you and run, just give the word. We can always work this out another day.”

Lloyd bites his lip, looking down. “I need to talk to him, Kai. I can’t leave it like this forever.”

“Well, yeah,” Kai says, evenly. “Maybe not. But as far as I’m concerned, you’re still Master Lloyd to us. We’ll follow your lead.”

Oh, now he’s done it. Lloyd’s throat goes painfully tight, and his eyes burn as he struggles to swallow back anymore embarrassing displays. “K-kai, you—”

“Please tell me I didn’t make you cry again,” Kai says hurriedly.

Lloyd shakes his head, elbowing him lightly in the side. “I wasn’t gonna cry,” he huffs. “I was just gonna say that I—” Lloyd swallows again, and murmurs, “I really missed you, Kai.”

Then, realizing he sounds entirely too vulnerable right now, he clears his throat and gives Kai a shaky grin. “Especially since now I really need you as my right hand man—”

Kai swats the back of his head, scuffing his hair down. “Lloyd, you’re my brother and I love you, but if you make another horrible arm pun, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Please,” Lloyd snorts. “You didn’t bring me a dragon back. If anyone should be never forgiving anyone, it’s me.”

************************

Lloyd’s not one to let fear get the best of him — for very long — but nothing’s really rooted him to the floor in terror like the sight of his uncle’s closed door has. Well, besides maybe his undead father dangling him off the floor in Kryptarium, or the sight of the Bounty getting crushed to pieces, or the way Skylor had collapsed in his arms, or the sensation of twin points of pain on the back of his hand—

Okay, so maybe fear’s been a pretty big player in his life lately, but still. Lloyd doesn’t let fear win out over him. He shouldn’t let fear win out over him.

Fear isn’t a word where I come from, Lloyd’s mind echoes half-hysterically at him.

Absolutely none of this helps the way his hands tremble violently as he knocks on Sensei’s door.

“Come in.”

Sensei Wu’s voice is quiet and level, no revealing trace of emotion in it. Nausea wells up in Lloyd’s throat, but he swallows it down. Kai’s “all you gotta do is yell for me” lingers in Lloyd’s mind, but he shrugs the thought off. As tempting as it is — Kai snatching him up from this conversation entirely and saving Lloyd a lot of awkward stuttering — he can’t just take the easy way out. Cole’s right — Lloyd needs to face this eventually. Letting things fester never helped anyone.

Harumi drove that one home pretty well.

Sucking in a breath, Lloyd finally pushes the door open, cursing his shaking fingers as they clack on the doorknob. His courage — if he can even call it that — falters, and he keeps his gaze rooted to the ground like it’s the most riveting thing in the room. The familiar smell of incense wafts over him, and Lloyd struggles not to throw up again.

There’s a measured intake of breath, before Sensei Wu exhales quietly. “Lloyd.”

Again, there’s little to no emotion in his voice, just that infuriatingly calm serenity, which is no help at all, because Lloyd has zero clue whether he’s furious with him or just — just disappointed, or something worse. And he’s sure as heck not going to look at his expression to figure it out, because that will require meeting his eyes, and Lloyd would rather combust on the spot.

He’s already faced one family member’s eyes burning in hatred on him. If he has to see Uncle Wu, too — Uncle Wu, who Lloyd’s always thought believed in him from the beginning—

“Sit, please.”

Lloyd shakes his head. He can’t. He’s already losing the battle to nerves, he can’t just — pretend this is another master-student talk. He needs to get it over with now, before he goes to pieces again.

“I…” Lloyd swallows. His mouth is painfully dry, and he still can’t get his hand to stop shaking. The metal one is finally listening to him, at least. He finally forces out a shuddery exhale, then curves his spine into a bow, his head hung low.

“Sensei,” he says, almost proud that his voice only wavers the slightest bit. “I’ve come to apologize for my actions earlier. And my words, I — I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

Sensei Wu is silent. The air is so thick Lloyd almost struggles to breath, and a part of him faintly wonders if the incense hasn’t grown a mind of its own and is actively trying to suffocate him.

“I just — it hurt, when you went behind my back, and I know — I know I’m a mess.” The admission stings, but it’s true. It’s way too true, but that still doesn’t give him the right—

“And I’m trying,” Lloyd continues, his voice cracking in all the worst places. “I’m trying so hard, Sensei Wu, I am, but I can’t — you were gone, and I tried so hard to be the-the leader you would want, I really did, but things just — everything went so wrong, and I—”

Lloyd cuts off, swallowing back a sob. “But I didn’t meant it,” he croaks out. “When I said I hated—”

He doesn’t get to finish that, because he’s suddenly being dragged out of the bow by Sensei Wu, and pulled arms-first into a tight embrace before he even realizes what’s happening. Lloyd’s poor brain short-circuits in surprise, and all he can really do is hang there like a dead fish while Uncle Wu clings to him like he hasn’t since Lloyd was nine.

He might also be crying, maybe, but he’s also in dead-fish-mode, so who knows—

“No, Lloyd,” his uncle says, and there’s an edge of a sob in his words, just like the one Lloyd was choking back earlier. “I am sorry. I am so, so very sorry, not only for going behind your back, but for everything—”

He cuts off, inhaling sharply, and Lloyd stares blankly into his shoulder as his eyes decide to run like a leaky faucet. This is — this is not going according to plan. He’s not prepared for this, he was ready for Uncle Wu to yell at him, to be angry, not—

“And you have every right to be angry with me,” Uncle Wu continues, his hold on Lloyd loosening, but not letting go. “But I must — please, Lloyd, you must know it was never you that I doubted, it was me.”

He takes a ragged breath. “I failed your father, Lloyd,” he says, his voice wet. “I failed him, and I lost him. I failed Morro, and I lost him as well. I’ve failed you too, Lloyd, and I’ve almost lost you far too many times, because of my failures, but I still — I still have you, Lloyd. The idea of losing you, for good, because I was not there when you needed me most—”

Uncle Wu’s holding him tighter again, and his word are finally starting to make sense through the haze that’s fogged up Lloyd’s brain, just in time for him to hear the next part clearly.

“You’re my family, Lloyd,” Uncle Wu rasps, suddenly sounding very old. “And I don’t tell you this as often I should, but you should know how very proud of you I am, and the person you’ve become.”

Lloyd sucks in a shuddering breath, his eyes welling over. Oh. His fingers fist into the fabric of his uncle’s robe, tentatively clutching back.

“You should also know,” Uncle Wu says, his voice wet but steady. “How very much I love you, regardless of what title you choose to bear. You will always be my nephew, no matter what color you wear.”

Oh. Oh, no, here he goes again. Lloyd clutches back tighter, drops his head onto his uncle’s shoulder, and tries very hard not to cry like a total baby.

He’s about five percent successful.

The scent of incense isn’t so suffocating anymore, even if Lloyd can’t breathe through his nose for crying right now. It smells a little more like he remembers, when he was younger.

Like home.

************************

“It can be very hard,” Uncle Wu tells him later, over the light tea he’s made them both. “To love the people in this family.”

“But you do,” Lloyd voices, watching him hesitantly.

“But I do.” Uncle Wu gives a wry breath of laughter. “Not as well as you do, though.”

Lloyd ducks his head, staring into his tea. “I don’t think it helped very much,” he whispers. “Not with…with my father.”

Uncle Wu’s hand is gentle where it rests on his shoulder.

“You have a big heart, Lloyd,” he says, his voice sad. “And that means there is only that much more to break.” He shakes his hand, and Lloyd sways the tiniest bit back and forth. “That does not mean you are any weaker for it, nor that you are wrong.”

Lloyd gives a snort that is definitely not an attempt to hide welling tears again. “Tell that to my father.”

“You should tell him yourself, if you want.”

Lloyd jerks his head up, his eyes widening. “Then…does that mean I’m off the blacklist?” he asks, tentatively. “For the prison?”

Uncle Wu sighs. “If you are certain it will not break your heart anymore,” he says. “Then you may go whenever you wish. I have already removed the block, but…I would ask that you be sure. For your sake, Lloyd.”

Lloyd stares at his hands, the metal one glinting in the dim lamplight. He thinks of cruel words echoing against prison walls, of how his heart had splintered into pieces long before his father had thrown him through that last prison wall, or he’d taken a sword to his own arm. He thinks of the TV broadcasts that Nya and Jay will never be able to wipe completely from the web, no matter how hard they try. He thinks of how his father will never know the pain of his heart splitting into pieces, certainly not for Lloyd, because it’ll never be the same heart Lloyd knew once.

And yet…

One of them is sitting in a cold cell, and one of them is drinking tea with their uncle, with the people they love most a mere room away (or right outside the door, Lloyd’s overbearing-sibling-radar has been acting up).

Lloyd shakes his head. “I don’t break,” he says, firmly.

He won’t. Not this time. Because his father — his real father, the father he loves, who he’d promised he’d live for, even in the depths of the Cursed Realm—

“I’m a Garmadon,” Lloyd says, his voice steady. “I don’t break.”

Uncle Wu is entirely unsuccessful at hiding the teary sort of smile he’s making in his teacup, but Lloyd will give him credit for trying.

************************

It’s easier walking into the prison again, the second time.

Is what Lloyd is going to say, when the others ask him how it went when he gets back. The reality is that Lloyd is every bit as mind-numbingly terrified walking through these stupid doors as he was the first time. Except this time might even be worse, actually, because he misses a step on the way in and almost trips flat on his face, which totally ruins the badass power walk he was trying to do.

It’s not like he’ll ever be able to stride around like his father, anyways, Lloyd thinks dully, even as his face burns. Not when Garmadon’s got about four entire feet and the malevolent energy of Darth Vader on him.

Lloyd spends the next three minutes cursing himself for giving in to the Star Wars references, enough that he almost forgets the growing sense of anxiety writhing in his gut as he hurries through the prison. He doesn’t spare the walls a second glance this time, making a beeline directly for the isolation cell.

He holds his breath, just a tiny bit, as the guard scans him in. He’s almost surprised as he immediately waves him through, but forces himself to shake it off.

He’s not going to walk out of this with crippling trust issues all around. He’s not. Uncle Wu said he’d told them Lloyd could go, so Lloyd trusts him. And Uncle Wu is trusting him not to break down over this, so Lloyd isn’t going to. He’s just gonna have a…a nice little chat, with his father, that’s all. Maybe ask about the impending doomsday stuff he was muttering about, and make sure he isn’t planning to break out. Definitely not going to bring up anything related to Lloyd’s emotional state, that’s for sure.

It’s going to be just fine, Lloyd assures himself, even as his metal fingers twitch, the occasional static of green buzzing between the joints. He needs to keep an eye on that. Nya’s started getting him to run actual tests on it, so he knows the green power works fine with his arm, but still.

It’s the fight that fuels his father, and Lloyd hasn’t needed a lot of encouragement to go off on someone lately.

He shoves those thoughts back as the guard takes him deeper into the prison, the hallways growing darker and narrow. Lloyd has to swallow back a growing sense of claustrophobia the farther they go, his skin crawling as unbidden memories of the fight flicker in the back of his mind.

His hands ball into fists. You’re fine, he tells himself again. This is different. It’s fine.

His power buzzes in the back of his head, as if attempting to voice that it disagrees. Lloyd studiously ignores it, because the guard’s letting him in now, and he’s got a lot more problems to worry about.

Or just one big one, he thinks faintly, staring at his father where he’s illuminated in the middle of the dark room, sitting calmly in his cell as he stares at the ceiling.

For a beat, Lloyd’s rooted to the spot — half from a dizzying sense of nausea, half because he can’t find the walkway they’ve built.

…mostly because he can’t find the walkway they’ve built. Lloyd spends an embarrassing ten seconds thinking that Garmadon’s cell is just floating there, and he’s going to have to holler this conversation back and forth across the dark expanse, before his eyes finally catch on the dim-lit walkway.

No railings, Lloyd notes, and half of him wonders how funny it’d be if, after everything, he accidentally slipped and fell on the way to visit his imprisoned father, and that’s what did him in. It’d be a real spite to Harumi, that’s what—

“I was wondering when you’d come to visit.”

Lloyd swallows at the voice, and forces himself to meet the crimson eyes staring at him, so much like his own.

“Father,” he says in greeting, as tonelessly as possible.

Garmadon scoffs, but he says nothing to refute him. The tiniest embers of hope light in Lloyd’s chest, before he violently smothers them. He’s not here to get hurt again.

His father’s eyes are moving down now, coming to a halt on Lloyd’s prosthetic. Lloyd shifts uncomfortably with the urge to hide it from view, forcing himself to stand steady.

“I never did like snakes,” Garmadon finally says, his voice even, then returns to staring at the ceiling.

Lloyd blinks. That’s it? That’s it. Lloyd’s lost an entire arm and — yeah, Garmadon already got a face-first introduction to the prosthetic back on Borg Tower, but he’d — he’d thought —

Lloyd doesn’t know what he’d thought, actually. He doesn’t have any footing with his father, anymore. He doesn’t know this person like he used to know the father who loved him.

“You said something to me, back on the tower,” Lloyd says, rallying himself. “About how they were coming. I wanted to ask you what you were talking about.”

Garmadon tilts his head, regarding him through slitted eyes. “Why don’t you ask your dear uncle?” he says, derisively. “I’m sure there’s plenty more he knows that he hasn’t told you.”

“Sensei Wu tells me enough,” Lloyd says, flatly. “If something’s coming, he’ll make sure we’re ready.”

“If you are the best he can offer, then you’re already doomed,” Garmadon scoffs.

Lloyd grits his teeth. “And yet,” he says, with forced calm. “I still beat you.”

“Watch yourself, boy,” Garmadon snarls, his teeth glinting. “You won on a technicality. Don’t be so quick to forget how easily I broke you before."

Pitching himself off the walkway is sounding like a better option by the second, which means Lloyd should probably get out of here soon.

“This threat,” he forces out, yanking them back on track. “You keep talking about. Want to share any more on that?”

Garmadon rolls his eyes. “The danger I spoke of has yet to pass,” he says, unconcerned. “I wouldn’t let it worry you and your pathetic friends’ little heads so soon. Like I said, I doubt you could handle it.”

Lloyd stares at him, incredulous. “So what, you’re just going to sit around until it’s here? And do nothing? That’s just going to make — make whatever it is worse.”

Garmadon snorts, his laugh caustic and bitter, but offers nothing else.

Lloyd’s lip curls. “Forget it, then,” he snaps. “If you’re not going to talk about anything useful, I’m not wasting my time on you. I can always come back.”

He means to storm off after that, but his feet falter, and he hesitates. He stares at his father, this hollowed-out version of him slumped in defeat in a prison cell. Something in his chest twists.

This is never what he wanted. He never wanted any of this. Is this what destiny does to them all, then? Chains them to each other until they’ve all brought each other down to their lowest point? Destroys everything thats good about them until there’s nothing but an empty shell left?

The edge of the walkway looms on either side of him, dropping into suffocating darkness. Lloyd balls his hands into fists, and remembers the crushing hopelessness he’d felt as Harumi had laughed at him on the train. It feels a lot like his grandfather’s laughing at him now, watching their stupid family drama play out like the worst kind of tragic soap opera.

Lloyd’s fists tighten. No, he tells himself. No. That’s not what destiny will do to him.

He’s the one that got away, isn’t he?

Garmadon finally seems to lose patience, his eyes flashing as he stands. “If you’re still here to gloat, boy—”

“I’m my own person, you know,” Lloyd speaks over him, cutting his father off. “I’ve got more than just you. I’m not just some fragment of your broken legacy.”

Garmadon stares back in surprise, but he says nothing.

“But I’m still your son, no matter what you say,” Lloyd continues, his voice steady. “And I’m keeping your name. So deal with it, or whatever.”

And with that, he turns around and paces steadily from the cell, back into the light. He doesn’t look back, not even once.

He can come back later, anyways. But right now, he’s gonna be late for practice.

************************

“—left, he’s on your left, Jay, are you blind?!”

“He’s fast! I don’t see you catching him!”

“That’s ‘cause you’re supposed to be guarding the left, we’re cornering him!”

“On the contrary, you are leaving your right side wide open for me. By my calculations, neither of you will ever corner me.”

“Oh, I’ll show you, tin can—”

Lloyd gives a breathless giggle as he listens in, confident in Zane’s ability to distract Cole and Jay for now. Nya’s still a possible threat, unless she’s going after their flag right now, but Lloyd’s pretty secure in the hiding place they’d picked.

“Head in the game, green machine!”

Lloyd shakes his head, jerking himself back the present at Kai’s whispered hiss. He wobbles precariously from where he’s standing on Kai’s shoulders, throwing his arms out for balance. He glares up at where Cole’s managed to hang their flag, dangling cheerfully from the tree branch far above the ground.

“Give me a sec,” Lloyd hisses back, right arm straining as his fingertips brush the air just below the flag. He scowls, biting back a curse.

“Do not tell me you’re too short to reach,” Kai whispers, before wavering a bit and tightening his hold around Lloyd’s ankles.

Lloyd scowls down at him. “I’m not,” he grumbles. “Just hold on.”

Kai makes an anxious sound. “Lloyd, Nya’s gonna catch on to us any second—”

“Hold on, hold on,” Lloyd mutters, reaching for the prosthetic port. With a click, he detaches the arm and steadies it in his other hand, then hoists it up and neatly catches the edge of their flag with it, knocking it into Kai’s waiting hands.

“Nice!” Kai crows in victory — only to turn to a yelp as Nya comes barreling around the corner, her expression borderline terrifying.

“You’re supposed to be watching our flag!” she roars at Cole and Jay, before diving for them. Lloyd shrieks as Kai launches him from his shoulders, giving a desperate cry of “Run, Lloyd!”

Lloyd flails wildly before managing to hit the ground in a roll, somersaulting once before scrambling to his feet. He spares a moment of memoriam for Kai as Jay tackles him, before being forced to break into a dead sprint as Nya comes in hot on his heels.

“Go, Lloyd!” Zane calls, from where he’s tussling with Cole. “They haven’t found our flag, we can win!”

“Not if I catch him,” Nya hisses, the hair on Lloyd’s neck standing up at how close she is. He puts on a burst of speed, streaking across the grassy field toward their base. Nya’s a blur in the back of his vision as he turns his head, but he might be able to outrun her if—

Lloyd yelps as he’s jerked backwards. “Gotcha!” Nya yells triumphantly as she locks a hand around Lloyd’s right wrist, firmly holding him back.

Lloyd doesn’t hesitate. Shoving the edge of the flag between his teeth, he reaches up and disconnects the prosthetic, shooting forward as Nya’s left stumbling, holding his arm.

“Lloyd Garmadon!” she cries indignantly. “That’s cheating!”

Lloyd cackles wildly as he runs, wavering a bit at he’s thrown off-balance from being one-armed, before quickly adjusting to the weight change and sprinting faster. Nya’s started chasing him again, but it’s too late — she’s lost valuable time, and Lloyd skids over their base line with a whoop.

Kai and Zane burst into cheers as Cole curses, finally letting Zane free from his grasp. Nya slides to a halt beside him where he’s doubled over panting, breathing heavily herself. She’s glaring at him through the sweaty hair that’s hanging in her face, and Lloyd gives her a sunny smile in return.

“You’re a dirty cheater,” she finally huffs.

“No rules in capture the flag against taking your arm off,” he replies, cheerily.

Nya rolls her eyes, but there’s a pull at the edge of her mouth like she’s trying not to smile as she thrusts his prosthetic at him.

“I don’t appreciate you treating my creation like that,” she sniffs.

“Aw, c’mon,” Kai grins, having caught up with them. “That was classic.”

“Yeah, if you’re a cheater,” Jay scowls. “I vote a rematch.”

“What, so you can lose a fifth time?”

“It has not been five times—”

“Yes it has, Zane’s been keeping count.”

“Zane’s a dirty cheater too!”

“How dare you—”

Lloyd snickers as they dissolve into arguing, carefully clicking his arm back into place. There’s still a flicker of pain as he does, but it’s getting easier. It’ll take time, he figures, just like everything else. You can’t fix all your problems in a day, no matter what Uncle Wu’s said before.

But for now, he can play dumb training games with his team. He can forget about whatever threat on the horizon, if only for a moment. Uncle Wu can amend his stance on what counts as training, because this is Lloyd’s turn to lead practice, and if he wants to play capture the flag, then that’s his call. And he can cheat with his arm if he wants to, because the universe can take his arm from him, but it’s not gonna take his ability to be a terrible little brother.

And it’s not going to take the fact that he’s Lloyd Garmadon, either, Lloyd thinks, as he straightens, his arm swinging into place. No one is. Not Harumi, not his own father, not an entire legal team from child protection services like Cole keeps joking (threatening) to call. Lloyd Garmadon is his name, and he’s keeping it.

...arguments could be made, though, for changing it to Lloyd Arm-Is-Gone.

“Lloyd, no.”

“That was awful.”

“You guys just have no taste!”

“We have plenty of taste, but the puns—”

“It’s my missing limb, I choose the coping mechanism.”

“You wanna miss another one, punk?”

“I’d like to see you try. At least I have an excuse for losing capture the flag. Oh wait, we won.”

“Oh, you’re on. Same teams as last time, you better watch your back—”

—yeah. They might not be perfectly fine just yet, but they’re going to be. And no one can take that from them, either.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #cole brookstone #nya smith #slight shift in focus but everyone's still there #also im saying its long but this is like #especially long even for me #oops T-T #my fic

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morbidanthem · 4 years ago

Text

((A/N: I hope this is what you wanted- I made it kinda personal, because I have body issue images myself and this ask kind of made me think about that. I hope you are OK with the platonic romantic relationship I wrote.))

Continuity - Overwatch

Character(s) - Insecure!Reader

Parring - Platonic!Insecure!Reader/ Angela "Mercy" Ziegler

Genre - Angst | Hurt/Comfort

Rating - T for Teen and Up

Warning - Fatphobia

Word Count - 1,137

✏️Written 05/25/20 - 05/26/20✏️ "... Is everything alright?"

It was a very simple question, and yet, you did not have a very simple answer.

In that moment, standing in front of the full body mirror that was in your room, squeezed into a pair of formal dress pants that pulled up over your waist in such an unflattering way… you just… broke.

You turned to look at Angela, you're best friend and confidant, and you just… broke.

"I-I don't… know?" You huffed out, placing a hand over your face to try and hide your tears, as your voice began to shake from all the emotions running their way through your mind.

"I just, I tried so hard… I really did!" You began to shout in an aggressive way, but Angela made no show of nervousness, and did not back down at your display.

"You don’t understand! I literally starved myself! I drank only water for a month straight!" You shouted, as you hunched over in tears, hands covering your now warm and sticky face. "I worked out, nonstop, for weeks! Weeks, Angela!"

You sniffed loudly, as you felt your body begin to shake and quiver as your heart began to beat faster than you could process it.

Angela, again, said nothing as she watched your hunched form with an unreadable expression.

"Nothing I do works! I'll… I'll never look like you." You hissed out in a bitter tone, as you tried to wipe the tears that felt like they endlessly fell from your eyes, as your hands shook so roughly with anxiety that it actually made it hard to steady them enough to wipe away the sting from your sobbing.

"Look at me… Why? Why do I look like this, Angela?" You weeped, as you slumped into one of the chairs you had in the room.

She was a goddess, a majestic queen… You were just a bug, a miserable cockroach who could not even compare.

To make it worse, you must have looked like such a fool to her in this state.

There you sat, a blubbering wailing mess of a human being, topless with nothing but a pair of high waisted dress pants on to barely cover the shame you were trying to hide.

You would have laughed, if you felt up to it, but you didn't have the energy to do much of anything but cry at the moment.

It was funny, seeing someone like you so down on themselves, it made others feel better about their situation.

They could have said, “Hey, at least I don’t look like that guy!” and go about their days while holding their heads up a little higher.

You barely could hear Angela say your name softly, as she knelt down in front of you, a soft yet concerned expression on her face.

"Why must you think so lowly of yourself?" She asked softly, pulling you into an embrace as you continued to weep.

"I'm so ugly, so why does someone like you even want to associate with someone like me?"

It was a very simple question, and yet, you did not have a very simple answer.

You felt her grip tighten around you, as she sucked in a breath through her teeth, as you began to hiccup from the raw emotions you were feeling in the moment.

"You can think what you want, but the truth is that you are not ugly." She began to say. "Nothing I can say will make you think otherwise, but, know that I think you are fantastic the way you are."

"If anything, I should apologize for not noticing it sooner." She sighed, as she pulled away to grab a box of tissues that were sitting on a small end table close by.

"You? What do you have to be sorry for?" You asked, as you wiped your eyes with the plus material, being slightly calmed by the scent of lavender that was infused into the material.

"I am sorry. Sorry, that I did not notice sooner." She spoke with a hushed whisper, it was oddly comforting. "I am your friend, and yet, I seemed to have failed to notice what you were up to."

She placed her cold and steady palms on your warm and flushed cheeks.

It was the most comforting feeling you've felt in such a long while.

"You are the way you are." She said, tilting your puffy swollen face to look up into her sparkling blue eyes.

"Your goals should never be to look like me. To look like anyone. You should aim to be the best you that you can be." Her thumbs began to stroke under your eyes, as she wicked the remaining tears away with her fingers.

"But… what if my best me isn't good enough to impress-"

"Hush now." She spoke sternly, never once breaking eye contact with you. "If someone doesn't love you the way that you are, then they do not deserve your love to begin with. No one is worth losing your body over, this is not the right way to be healthy, just because someone looks good does not mean that they are at a peak performance level."

"Angela…" you were speechless.

No one has ever said anything that remotely kind to you before.

You have always trusted Angela, respect her, and if she could see the value in you… then maybe there really was some value there…

“Everybody is different, and what is healthy and ok for one person may not be healthy and ok for another. It is good to take an interest in changing your eating and exercise habits for the better, but when you get caught up in all of those flashy gimmicks that promise results quickly, well, you can really do some damage to your body.”

She scolded lightly, as she saw what appeared to be understanding flash through your damp eyes. She was glad her message was getting through to you, but right now, she had more important things to worry about.

Like, apparently, getting some actual food into you so that you do not pass out from exhaustion.

"There now, what say you change out of those clothes, and into something more comfortable. I get the feeling you could use a good filling meal." She smiled, as she lifted herself up, while offering you her hand to rise with her.

"Y-Yeah. You are too kind, Angela." You sniffed, as you wiped your face with a tissue once more. “Thank you.”

"Nonsense!" She laughed, as you both embraced, as you felt a smile creep up onto your face. “I am simply your friend, who also happens to be a physician!”

She was the kindest soul you've ever met, and you felt lucky to be as close to her as you are.

She really was a guardian angel.

❤💀❤ Published 05/27/20 ❤💀��

((A/N: So I had to post the ask like this again, as a screen shot, because tumblr keeps glitching and making the post not work- I am not sure how to fix it, so any other asks I get will have to be like this with a screen shot until it gets fixed.))

#Overwatch #Angela Zeigler #Drabble #Romantic #Hurt/Comfort #Mercy X Reader #Overwatch X Reader #Mercy/Reader #Overwatch/Reader #Long Post

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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 4 years ago

Text

My (Un)Official Gf application

Hi! So...um...I’m lonely tonight. Thought I’d just go ahead and submit my gf application for anyone who sees it.

The Basics:

Name: Hana Lee Zainea

Age: 17 (Still a minor y'all. Back off creeps)

Gender: Female

Height: 4′7.5 (yeah, yeah. I get it. I’m the little spoon.)

Weight: 125. I know it’s a bit heavy, but I’m working on it. I’ve cleaned up my diet entirely and work out almost every day now! We’re working towards 110 by spring.

Build: Curvy. (Hourglass figure? Not sure really) I’m not quite mid size either, but I’m working towards slimming down and building a more toned/muscular physique. Korra from lok is the end goal haha

Pronouns: She/her

Sexual preference: Bicurious? I’m not quite sure just yet, but right now specifically, I’m looking for a guy. I haven’t really come out yet and I’m not sure how my parents would react if I did.

Enneagram type: Shifts between 6 on bad days and 9 on good ones

Meyers Briggs: INFJ (So rare, I know)

Zodiac Sign: I mean I’m catholic, so I don’t really believe in that sorta stuff, but uh, Libra if that makes any difference.

Reasons to date me:

I’m small, so I’d always be the little spoon when cuddling.

I LOVE making gifts and will NOT hesitate to send you letters in the mail, give you candy, make you drawings and handmade cards, and make you any kind of crochet/sewn stuffed animal ur heart desires.

I do relatively good in school and can probably help you with homework judgement free.

I’m an artist, so once you’re my so, there’s a good chance you'll be used as a photo reference for a piece. You might get a sick portrait out of this.

I’m laid back as heck and can pretty much vibe with whatever

I already made us matching bracelets.

Available pretty much 24/7 to talk or at least text

I can cook pretty well and I personally think I thrive in a well stocked kitchen.

Reasons that you might not want to date me:

I’m waiting ‘til marriage. You don’t have to be a virgin at all, just know that you won’t get anything out of me until you put a ring on it and have seen me in a white dress walking down the isle. I just don’t want to give my body away to someone who isn’t willing to commit to me and my personality rather than just my body. We can cuddle, hug, kiss, etc but as soon as it gets dirty, it’s no. I’m sorry :(

I’m a bit clingy. I don’t mean to. I just get really excited about new people and want to spend time with them.

I cry a lot. I’m a bit depressed and will sometimes cry for no reason. It’s not anything ur doing. I just need to cry.

I’m also anxious as HECK and sometimes it gets so bad that I’ll think I’m sick. I’m prone to intrusive thoughts and OCD too and will often worry excessively about if people actually like me or not. If you get a text that says “are you upset with me?” it’s not because u did anything to make me feel that way. I just do and if I’m not actually bugging you, just respond “not at all!” or something else consoling and I’ll be fine.

As far as looks go, I don’t have much to offer. I have huge brown eyes that I think are pretty, and I kinda like my small lips, but otherwise I’m not a stunner. I’m not super ugly, I just don’t look good unless I put effort into my appearance.

I have a CRIPPLING case of body dysmorphia. I avoid looking in mirrors a lot and often beat myself up for missing workouts even if I’m sore and could hurt myself/eating something mildly unhealthy, so that’s fun.

Things we can do together:

Watch our favorite shows together. I like and will rotate between atla, the mandalorian, LoK, the office, the clone wars, and sw rebels, but we can watch pretty much anything together. I’m totally down for anything and I’d love to get into more mainstream and conventional shows. I attach to shows pretty quickly and the night will mostly involve us wrapped in a blanket and me pointing at fictional couples (mostly Kataang and sukka) and going “hey babe look! It’s us!”

Cook together! If u don’t know how, that’s ok! I’ll teach you! We can cook your favorite together! My repertoire ranges anywhere from fried rice and spring rolls, to tacos, to pasta.

Bake! Cookies, cake, whatever u want! My favorite are lava cakes that have an oozy chocolate center and lemon cakes with thick icing on them!

Work out together! Not sure what u like, but I really love yoga, and I’m trying to get into more light weight-high rep. stuff. Not full on bench press, but I’m working towards a heavier handheld weight. My goal by the end of 2021 is 20 pound weights, but we’ll see!

If you do art, we can create stuff together! If you don’t that’s ok too!

Go to all ur sporting events and kiss u before for good luck and afterwards for a job well done (even if u don’t win, you’re still my winner)

Road trips to Chicago! I live in MI, but I love going down there to spend the day. We can shop, go ice skating, go to the ghiradeli store and get ice cream, go to the art institute, go out to eat, etc. Then we can stay the night, have a nice breakfast in the morning, and drive back.

While we’re in quarantine, write letters! I make mine look really nice. U don't have to at all, and I just like getting stuff in the mail!

Couples costumes for halloween! I have wayyyy to many ideas lol. Depending on what u like and what u look like, I can pretty much do whatever, but my top choice is Sokka and Suki from atla.

Coffee and study dates around exam time

Movie night with each other’s families. Once ur in my life, ur in my family’s too! Come over and we can make popcorn and play with my dog and u can meet my younger siblings! They’ll love u I promise!

My requirements:

Be taller than me (I mean, it’s not that hard. I’m 4′7. I don’t think it’s too much to ask)

I get to be the little spoon. (Again, it makes more sense bc I’m really small. U can try to be the little spoon, but physically it makes more sense.

U don’t need to remember any dates EXCEPT for my birthday, (October 12) and our anniversary. (Don’t know when that’ll be) I don’t need gifts, just a nice text or a hug and a kiss.

Be 16 or older. Sorry youngsters.

That’s literally it. That’s it.

A little warning/extra tip: My expectations are kinda “high” bc of fictional men, but honestly, if u pick up on their romantic gestures, it’s really not that hard to please me. Some examples of things u can do that’ll completely have me simping for u:

Hugs!

Kisses! (Especially when YOU initiate)

Holding me

bringing me a tea

Stay loyal! I know I’m going to be. Like, for REAL. U got no competition

CONSENT. Again, I’m waiting til marriage, but still! I’ve never done this before, so if u touch me in a way that makes me uncomfortable, please respect my boundaries. I’ll respect urs too!

That’s literally it. That’s the application.

#girlfriend application

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coldcomputersoul · 4 years ago

Text

Marco vs. the Forces of Love Episode 5: Carnival

Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Marco escapes from the girls and gets blackmailed by Jeremy. Meanwhile, Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo work together to find him.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:

[theme song]

ACT I

[The episode starts where we left off at the previous episode where Star and Janna have a heated argument regarding Marco]

Janna:

If anything, Marco should avoid you at all costs.

Star:

Oh yeah? At least I don’t steal things from him of stalk him like a creep, and let me tell you...

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Aw man, this is getting ugly. I need to get out of here.

Star:

...and that’s why I’m the best girl for Marco.

Janna:

Sure, keep making noise babyface. You sure are gonna win if you cry harder.

Star:

[breaking glass sound] What did you just say to me?

Janna:

I said: Keep making noise baby...

[before she can finish Star tackles Janna and they start a fight, but Jackie once again gets in between and attempts to stop them]

Jackie:

Come on girls please... fighting each other won’t solve anything. It will makes things worse.

Janna:

You’re right. We should let Marco decide once and for all and finish this nonsense...

Star:

I agree. So Marco, which one of us do you like...? [she notices that Marco is missing] Marco? Where did he go?

Janna:

Maybe he ran away from you and your childish behaviour your majesty...

Jackie:

Janna...

Star:

Well at least I’m a member of the royalty. You, on the other hand are just a sad, strange little girl who steals wallets to get attention. How pathetic.

Jackie:

Star...

Janna:

Say it again to my face, your royal pain.

Star:

I’ll be glad...

[Just when they’re about to start another brawl, an orange portal opens in front of them with Marco and Hekapoo coming out from it]

Hekapoo:

What’s up ladies?

Star:

What the…?!!!

[TIME CARD: FLASHBACK]

[Cut Marco and Hekapoo lying under the bed sheets all sweaty and exhausted. Marco stares at the ceiling with his arms around his head while Hekapoo plays with her hand on his chest]

Hekapoo:

That... was even better than I remembered. I really needed this...

Marco:

[concerned] I’m glad to hear it...

[Hekapoo notices that Marco looks concerned about something]

Hekapoo:

Is there… something you wanna tell me right now?

Marco:

What do you mean?

Hekapoo:

You look kinda sad. Do you regret about this?

Marco:

What? No, I’m not. It was wonderful and you’re an amazing chick and all but...

Hekapoo:

Do you still have feelings for Star?

Marco:

What happens between me and Star, like I said, it’s complicated. I don’t even know how to define it. The problem is: Right now, I just don’t know what I’m doing. It seems like every time I think I’ve found love, something happens and I get caught between more decisions and… I can’t think clearly anymore. I want somebody to love, someone who gives me comfort and support, but I also want to live dangerously, to be challenged...

Hekapoo:

Marco, you don’t have a problem. You’re just a kid. It’s normal for boys at your age being so indecisive and impulsive. You’re just a little confused, that’s all.

Marco:

Maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I’m hurting Star. I wish I knew what I want so this could end peacefully.

[Hekapoo looks at Marco for a moment and thinks of a way to help him]

Hekapoo:

I think I figured out what’s your problem...

Marco:

You do?

Hekapoo:

You said that you don’t know what you want in a girl, right?

Marco:

Right...

Hekapoo:

That’s because you’re too busy pleasing everyone else instead of focus on what makes YOU happy. Am I right?

Marco:

Uhm, yeah, that’s kinda true...

Hekapoo:

And that’s my point: There’s nothing wrong in enjoying yourself once in a while. You’re a great guy Marco Diaz, and I’ve always thought you deserve better.

Marco:

That’s funny. I’ve always consider myself to be very lucky.

Hekapoo:

Yeah, but I’m not talking about the things you have, I’m talking about respect. And that’s what I love about you Marco: No matter how hard life has been treating you, you always seem to keep going. You spent 16 years chasing me to get back a lousy pair of scissors that weren’t even yours.

Marco:

That’s because I didn’t knew that were your scissors.

Hekapoo:

That doesn’t matter. What I’m trying to say is that everyone else would just given up the first year or so, but you... you persisted all those years and never turned back. And to tell you the the truth, It makes me kinda jealous of Star. She’s so lucky to have you in her life.

Marco:

[blushing] I... I’ve never realized how much I needed to hear that.

Hekapoo:

You’re welcome. [they stare at each other for a brief moment]

[Hekapoo gets up the bed and puts her trademark yellow dress. Marco dress up as well]

Hekapoo:

You know? You have done so much for me lately and I wanna make it up for you.

Marco:

It isn’t really necessary. I like to be helpful.

Hekapoo:

But I wanna do it. You deserve a better treatment and Star still doesn’t understand how valuable you really are, so we’re gonna pay her a visit so I can speak her a piece of my mind...

Marco:

[getting nervous] You what? Hekapoo, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but… [Hekapoo opens a portal and grabs him by the hoodie before he can finish] Wait, I’m not mentally prepared for this...

[TIME CARD: END OF FLASHBACK]

[Cut Back to Marco and Hekapoo facing Star, Jackie and Janna at the park]

Janna:

And who the hell are you?

Hekapoo:

My name is Hekapoo, gatekeeper of the realms of time and space, and I’m here to set the record straight regarding Marco.

Marco:

[thinking to himself] This is it. They’re gonna tear me apart limb by limb.

Star:

Wait… what do you mean by “set the record straight”? Is there anything you didn’t tell us yet Marco?

Marco:

Uhm, it’s funny that you mention it, because...

Jackie:

Hey, aren’t you that girl that kept Marco recluse for 16 years on that weird dimension?

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, recluse it’s not the word I would use, but... Yes, yes I am...

Star:

You better have a good explanation for this Marco Diaz.

Marco:

I was getting into that, you see...

Hekapoo:

Don’t tell her anything Marco, you don’t owe her any explanations...

Janna:

[raising an eyebrow] You seem pretty close to be just acquaintances.

Hekapoo:

You’re pretty sharp for a human kid. I’ll give you that...

Star:

Seriously, what’s the deal with you and Marco?

Hekapoo:

Oh please, don’t tell me that you still can’t figure it out...

Marco:

[whispering] Hekapoo please, you’re making it worse...

Star:

[upset] And what exactly am I supposed to “figure out”?

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, I’m gonna take a wild guess: Marco is not only good in bed like… REALLY good, but also is so full of energy that is capable to last for hours and hours. Am I right?

Star:

So?

Hekapoo:

Where do you think he learned all that stuff?

[Star takes a moment to think about it until she realizes what she meant]

Star:

[gasps] Marco, is that true?

Marco:

Well, you see: I was trying to get back your scissors and spent 16 years on her dimension to do it and… I may have got a little sidetracked...?

Star:

Marco!!!

Janna:

Well, well, well, guess we learned something new about you safety kid....

Jackie:

Why you didn’t tell about this before? I thought we were gonna be honest to each other...

Marco:

I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention, but you also lied to me...

Jackie:

Yeah, but what you did was way before of what we did and we already apologized, right Star?

Star:

Indeed, what is wrong with you? I thought you were better than this...

Marco:

[staring at the floor] I’m sorry...

Hekapoo:

[to Jackie and Janna] Wait, I’m confused… What is your relation with Marco?

Janna:

I am his lover...

Jackie:

And I am his former girlfriend...

Hekapoo:

So, you’re telling he’s been cheating on all of you at once?

Janna:

That’s right.

Hekapoo:

Wait a minute: Wasn’t Star your girlfriend?

Marco:

I think you misunderstood what I meant. Star is not exactly my girlfriend, it’s just that I...

Star:

What?!!! So you’re telling me during all this time you did with me all kind of things... and you didn’t even considering me your girlfriend?!!!

Marco:

You’re getting me wrong. I’m actually...

[All the girls give Marco a death glare as he gulps and takes a step back wearing a fearful expression on his face]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Oh God, I’m SO screwed. There’s no way I can’t get out of this one...

Star:

I don’t even know you anymore.

Jackie:

[crossing her arms] I agree. We’re very disappointed of you right now.

Janna:

So, what do you have to say in your defense loverboy?

Marco:

[shivering] Girls, there’s no need to do something crazy.

Star:

You haven’t seen crazy yet.

Marco:

Please, just listen to me: It’s not that I didn’t enjoy all this time with all of you...

Janna:

Oh, we all know that you did it, you womanizing bastard.

[The girls surround Marco while he just takes a deep breath and prepares to get punished by them]

Hekapoo:

Any last words to defend yourself fleshwad?

Marco:

[sigh] I understand that why you’re so upset right now and I just want you to know that… [he notices something at the sky] Holy shit, is that a nuclear missile coming right over here?!!! [points at the sky]

Janna:

[crossing her arms] Marco, Do you seriously think that we’re gonna fall for that one? I mean, not even Star is looking up...

Star:

Yeah… [beat] HEY!!!

Marco:

[panicking] I’m serious, it’s getting closer, we’ve gotta get out of here.

Jackie:

Marco, please. This is getting ridiculous. Why don’t you just face the problem instead of coming up with such a nonsensical…?

Random Person:

[o.s] A NUCLEAR MISSILE IS COMING DOWN!!! EVERYONE RUN AWAY!!!

[Cut to the missile falling down while all the people at the park evacuate while screaming in panic]

Janna:

[looking at the sky] Holy guacamole: Marco was telling the truth.

Jackie:

Quick, we gotta get out of here fast.

Star:

Wait… I know what to do...

[Star uses her wand to transform into her mewberty self and flies to the missile to blast it]

Star:

[pointing at the missile with her wand] MEGA RAINBOW BLA…!!!

Marco:

[shouting at her] Star, don’t do that!!! You’re gonna make it explode!!!

Jackie:

Try to slow it down!!!

Star:

Okay, I got it.

[Star flies towards the missile, grabs it and attempts to slow it down using the flutter of her wings, but it’s too heavy for her to handle]

Janna:

That’s it, we’re doomed.

[everyone close their eyes waiting for the end, but the missile just lands and gets buried in the ground without exploding in a very anticlimactic way]

Marco:

[opening his eyes] Are we… still alive?

Jackie:

Apparently, but how?

Marco:

Star, are you okay? [he helps Star to get down from the missile]

Star:

[turning back to normal] I’m fine, but… what just happened?

[Janna gets closer to the missile and takes a look to it]

Marco:

I’m not sure, but we need to get out here. This thing could still explode if we...

[Janna kicks the missile twice]

Marco:

[to Janna] WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!

Janna:

Don’t panic safety kid. The missile is hollow.

Jackie:

Really? [she also kicks it] Hey, you’re right.

Star:

But I don’t understand: Why would anyone launch a weapon that doesn’t even work?

Janna:

Tell that to Pyongyang’s government.

Hekapoo:

And just when I thought humans couldn’t get any dumber.

Janna:

Yeah right, because mewmans and monsters are SO smart that they need magic to solve all their problems. That’s a good one.

Star:

Hey, shut your piehole Janna. You don’t know anything about us mewnans and all the problems we have to deal with on our everyday lives.

Janna:

That’s even funnier coming from you, your royal highness.

Star:

Just because I’m a princess that doesn’t mean I don’t have problems of my own, okay?

Janna:

Is that so? name one.

Star:

Well, for instance, you’re all getting in the way between me and Marco.

Hekapoo:

Oh, poor you. Let me ask you something: If Marco is SO comfortable with you, why is he looking for other girls?

Star:

Perhaps because some of those girls keep him prisoner for 16 years and take advantage of him...

Hekapoo:

Yeah right, because is not like I gave him the choice to go back to Earth. Also, the only reason he stayed on my dimension for so long it’s because he was trying to get back the scissors that your pony friend stole from me in the first place...

Star:

Leave Pony Head out of this.

Hekapoo:

Well, if you and Marco were so close, he would have told you all of this, right Marco? [notices that he is missing] Marco?

Star:

Oh, damn it. He did it again.

Janna:

Nice job scaring him way. AGAIN.

Star:

Oh, like you didn’t have any part on it whatsoever.

Jackie:

Uhm, girls?

Janna:

At least I don’t blame everyone else for my own mistakes like you do.

Jackie:

Girls?

Star:

Perhaps because you never apologize for your mistakes.

Jackie:

Girls?

Janna:

As if you know what it is to apologize...

Jackie:

[screaming] ENOUGH!!!

[everyone stop arguing and pay attention to Jackie]

Jackie:

Now, I don’t care how entitled do you think you are, or how much you want to tear apart to each other. The only thing I want is to know where Marco is, and whining and complaining like a bunch of children is not gonna solve anything, so please, PLEASE: Stop it.

[they get quiet for a few seconds awkwardly staring at the ground. Then Hekapoo decides to break the silence]

Hekapoo:

[sigh] You have a good point. This bickering is both pointless and counterproductive. I mean, I don’t even know who you girls are, I was here just to stand for Marco, but now that he’s gone…

Janna:

Well, neither do I. Right now I’m upset because I just want to know where Marco is...

Hekapoo:

I propose a truce until we find him so we can settle this once and for all. What do you say?

Jackie:

I’m in. [she shakes hands with Hekapoo]

Janna:

Me too. This whole argument is getting old anyway. [she also shakes hands with her]

Hekapoo:

What about you princess Butterfly?

Star:

Well... if Jackie is okay with it, I guess you can count me in as well.

Jackie:

[giving her a pat on the back] That’s the spirit.

[Star finally shakes hands with Hekapoo]

ACT II

[Cut to a crowd of people at Echo Creek’s pier. President Richard Martinez is about to give a press conference while everyone is talking about the missile incident. Cut to Alfonzo and Ferguson between the crowd]

Ferguson:

Oh man, I’m so afraid right now.

Alfonzo:

Tell me about it. Less than 5 minutes after it happened and my dad just ran away to the store to buy plans for a bomb shelter.

Ferguson:

What do you think it’s going to happen? Do you think they’re gonna relocated us all or something?

Alfonzo:

I hope not. I’ve spent the best years of my life on this town.

[cut to a flashback of Alfonzo getting his head stuck on a toilet by local bully Lars]

Ferguson:

[deadpan] Right...

[Cut back to President Martinez at the stage]

President Martinez:

[speaking at the microphone] My fellow american citizens:In light of the recent mass hysteria that followed the landing of the nuclear missile “allegedly” launched by the government of North Korea early this afternoon, I flew back to this lovely town to clarify some of the misconceptions you may had about what exactly is going on...

Justin:

WE’RE ALL GOING TO GET NUKED!!! [everyone at the audience starts screaming]

President Martinez:

Now, calm down everybody. Nobody is going to get nuked, in fact: This whole incident was a huge misunderstanding.

Sabrina:

Misunderstanding?

President Martinez:

You’re correct young lady in the audience. You see: This was all part of a… simulation, yeah, that’s it. The US DoD personally asked me to launch this fake missile to test the overall response of your town in case of an actual nuclear threat and… congratulations. You passed.

Reporter:

But, isn’t launching a fake WMD without prior notice a form of fear-mongering?

President Martinez:

Now, you may thinking that these nuclear policies are highly unconstitutional. And you’re totally right. That’s why I came here to personally apologize for such an irresponsible decision and make it clear that this tragic incident will never going to repeat again. And to compensate you: I’m proud to announce that I’m bringing to your town: A brand new carnival. [talks at the phone] Bring it on boys.

[a group of helicopters brings a rollercoaster, a ferris wheel, a merry-go-round as well as other park attractions and land them on the pier]

Brittney:

Oh come on, do you actually believe that we’re going to forgive you for spreading scaremongering on our town using such a moronic tactic that no one is going to…?

Blake Lemon:

Hey, look everyone: A free carnival.

[everyone at the audience go to the carnival to try the rides while Brittney gets trapped among the excited crowd]

President Martinez:

[talking to the bodyguards] Phew, that was a close one. Call CNN, CBS, ABC and MSNBC and tell them to bury the lede. no one else at the country has to know about this.

Bodyguard:

Yes sir.

[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo at Marco’s living room. Star is talking with Princess Pony Head using her mirror phone]

Star:

Are you sure about that?

Princess Pony Head:

[sigh] For the millionth time: Yes. I looked for him like… everywhere. He’s not at the Amethyst Arcade, he’s not at Quest Buy, he’s not at Pixtopia, and he’s definitely not at the Goblin Dogs stand.

Star:

But what about Kelly and Tad?

Princess Pony Head:

They haven’t seen Marco either. I’m sorry B-Fly, but your beloved Earth Turd is officially MIA.

Star:

That’s okay. I appreciate your help.

Princess Pony Head:

I’ve always knew that turd was no good for you B-Fly. I’ll tell you what: Next time I see him I’m gonna shove it my horn right up his...

Star:

As... well-intended you may be, it’s not really necessary for you to do that. I’ll deal with this problem all by myself, okay?

Princess Pony Head:

Pfft, whatever. See you next time B-Fly. [she hangs up]

Star:

Well, girls it seems that Marco is not at Mewni after all.

Janna:

Yeah, but it doesn’t take away the fact that he’s still nowhere to be found.

Jackie:

Do you know any other place he could possibly be?

Star:

Not a clue. but wait, I’ve got it: I’ll use the All-Seeing Eye to look up where he is.

Hekapoo:

Wait… The All-Seeing Eye? Are you aware that spell is completely Off-Limits. right?

Star:

Who cares? I’m gonna use it just for a teeny-weenie short moment. What could possibly go wrong?

Hekapoo:

Everything can go wrong if you use that spell. There is a good reason of why it’s in the forbidden chapter. You can’t just use it as you please.

Star:

Oh, and do you have a better idea?

Hekapoo:

Well, not exactly, but I do know that considering the low amount of magic power those scissors have, he couldn’t go any further than Earth. That’s for sure.

Jackie:

Yeah, but even if that were true, Earth is still a huge place for Marco to hide. He could be in China for all we know...

Janna:

Well, not necessarily.

Star:

What are you talking about?

Janna:

When you have the ability to move from place to place in a matter of seconds, one could argue that he would use the scissors to hide at some unknown village at the Congo or something like that. But what if Marco is actually self aware of this and he chose to stay right here at Echo Creek just to drift away our attention?

Jackie:

It might be possible, but it still sounds pretty unlikely. How can we be sure?

Janna:

Exactly. We can’t, the only thing we can do so far is to look up for him at the last place he could possibly be right here. A place full of lights and surrounded by people, a place like...

Everyone:

The carnival.

[Cut to Echo Creek’s carnival. Everyone is having a good time, except for Jeremy Birnbaum who walks around along with his butler bored out of his mind]

Jeremy:

[eating cotton candy] Ugh, this is the worst carnival I’ve been on my entire life. I’d rather get grounded doing my homework than attend this snoozefest any longer.

Butler:

You want me to take you back home master Jeremy?

Jeremy:

Hang on, I’m sure I can find someone to pull a prank on. Okay, let’s see… [he looks around to find someone] Too many potential victims, but no one who’s actually worth the effort.

Butler:

Well, if you want my advice sir...

Jeremy:

I pay you to drive me home, not to listen your worthless advice, so shut your piehole. Wait a second… [he looks at some guy wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora sneaking around] Mission control: We’ve found our next target, he-he-he...

[the guy with the trenchcoat turns out to be Marco, who hides behind an alley and attempts to use the dimensional scissors]

Marco:

Ugh, come on. Open the portal already. Goddammit.

Jeremy:

Hey jerkface...

[Marco turns around and sees Jeremy right behind him recording him with his cell phone]

Marco:

Jeremy? What are you doing here?

Jeremy:

Funny, I could ask you the same question. What are you hiding under that coat? Free candy?

Marco:

Uhm, that’s none of your business, so... buzz off dude.

Jeremy:

And miss the opportunity to humiliate you and whatever you’re trying to do? No way, this shit is gold.

Marco:

Okay, first of all: Watch your potty mouth you little brat, talk like a sailor does not make you edgier than the 12 year old kids who post Minecraft gameplays on Youtube; and second of all: If you wanna talk about humiliation, do I need to remind you of the time when I put your “private karate lessons” to shame at the graduation? I don’t think so...

Jeremy:

Well, if you’re so confident about yourself, whom are you hiding from?

Marco:

Who says that I’m hiding?

Jeremy:

Oh, give me a break Marco: You’re behind an alley wearing a trenchcoat AND a fedora like you were some kind of secret agent. You’re so bad at lying it’s kinda sad.

Marco:

Oh yeah? and you’re so full of yourself I’m surprised that you are not overweight. Why don’t you just admit that you act like a jerk simply because you have an inferiority complex that…?

[In that moment, Marco hears the voice of Star and the girls passing by, so he puts his head out the alley to confirm it]

Marco:

What the…? [he sees them searching for him] Oh, crap...

Jeremy:

[wearing a smug smile] Well, well, well... What do he have here? Marco Diaz, the tough, misunderstood “bad boy”, hiding from a group of girls? I don’t even know what this is all about, but I’m already excited.

Marco:

Jeremy, listen: Right now I’m on a very delicate situation and... I know that I’m not exactly your favorite person in the world, but… Would you please help me to get out of here without being noticed?

Jeremy:

Wait, hold on. Let me get this straight: You’re asking ME to help YOU to escape from those chicks over there? [he starts laughing] This is just… I don’t even know what to say.

Marco:

Oh, come on Jeremy, don’t you have at least a bit of empathy for someone other than yourself?

Jeremy:

Mmmm, I don’t know. Aren’t you the one who said that I’m “full of myself”?

Marco:

[getting on his knees] Jeremy please. I’ll do whatever you want?

Jeremy:

[raising an eyebrow] Whatever I want?

Marco:

[sigh] Yes, whatever you want.

Jeremy:

Mmmm, let me think about it… on one hand, I could rat you out to those girls and enjoy your demise in the front row… and on the other hand I could help you out and turn you into my personal slave for the rest of the evening, which is a very rare opportunity… Alright Romeo, I’ll help you out...

Marco:

Oh thank you Jeremy...

Jeremy:

However: I want your red belt...

Marco:

[sigh] Okay, it’s all yours...

Jeremy:

AND your karate certificate.

Marco:

Ugh, fine. You can have that too.

Jeremy:

Also, I want your entire comic book collection.

Marco:

Jesus Christ, why don’t you ask for my soul while you’re at it?

Jeremy:

Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

Marco:

[grinding his teeth] Jeremy...

Jeremy:

Okay, I finished to mess up with you sweetheart. [uses his cell phone to call his butler] Henry? Yeah, it’s me your master Jeremy… I need a distraction now… yup, 40’ away...

[A loud explosion is heard at the distance, which drifts everyone’s attention. Marco and Jeremy use the opportunity to run away from the scene]

Jeremy:

And that’s why you should worship the almighty dollar...

Marco:

Well, I guess I owe you for that one.

Jeremy:

That’s what I love to hear. Come on slave boy, you still have some work to do.

Marco:

[sigh] Somebody kill me please.

[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco]

Star:

Now that was weird, it sounded like an explosion, but everything just seems fine.

Hekapoo:

Something tells me that Marco had something to do with it.

Jackie:

That may be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is still nowhere to be found, especially among this huge crowd of people.

Janna:

What are we gonna do then?

Jackie:

I suggest we split up to cover more ground. Janna: You and Hekapoo go and check up the stands while Star and I will look for him up in the ferris wheel. We’ll be in contact with our cell phones. Then we’ll meet again right here in one hour. Got it?

Hekapoo:

Clear as crystal.

Janna:

It works for me.

Star:

Yeah, me too.

Jackie:

Alright people, let’s go.

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy wandering around looking for victims. Jeremy set eyes on a little girl eating ice cream while sitting on a bench]

Jeremy:

Alright slave boy, here’s the first order of business: See that little girl eating ice cream over there?

Marco:

Uhm, yeah.

Jeremy:

Well, I want you to sneak around behind her back and throw her ice cream at the floor without being noticed.

Marco:

What? That’s terrible. I’m not gonna do that.

Jeremy:

Oh, yes you will. We had a deal remember?

Marco:

Forget about it. I’d rather eat my toenails on a bowl of cereal.

Jeremy:

Well, in that case I guess I’m gonna have to rat you out with your cheerleading squad then...

Marco:

Yeah, like I care. I bet they all returned home at this point.

Jeremy:

Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Just look at behind you.

[Marco turns around and sees Janna and Hekapoo heading towards them. Marco gets all nervous while Jeremy watches him wearing a smug face]

Jeremy:

Not feeling so brave now, huh?

Marco:

You little piece of...

Jeremy:

Ah ah ah! Remember our deal slave boy.

[Marco gets infuriated, but immediately calms down as he sees Janna and Hekapoo getting closer]

Marco:

[feeling resigned] Okay. I’ll do it.

Jeremy:

That’s a good boy.

[Marco sneaks around behind the little girl and throws a coin next to her. She turns her head and Marco uses the opportunity to throw her ice cream to the floor, which makes her cry. Then Marco returns with Jeremy]

Jeremy:

Wow, I hate to admit it, but… I’m truly impressed. I’ve never seen someone sneaking up that way, I mean, you have the reflexes of a ninja.

[Marco just looks at the little girl crying and feels guilty about it]

Jeremy:

Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. She’ll get over it.

Marco:

Please don’t make me do that ever again.

Jeremy:

Are you kidding me? That was freaking gold, and this is just the beginning my friend.

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco on the stands]

Janna:

Have you found anything?

Hekapoo:

I can feel the power of the scissors near around us, but I’m still not really sure where this feeling is coming from...

Janna:

Well, that’s just great. It’s like we’re playing hide and seek with Marco.

[they spot the little girl on the bench still crying, so they go to talk to her]

Janna:

Hey, what’s wrong little girl? Why are you crying?

Little girl:

My ice cream... [shows her the empty cone]

Janna:

Oh, I see. And where are your parents?

Little girl:

Over there... [points at her parents playing at the stands completely oblivious]

Janna:

Typical. I’ll tell you what: I’ll go to get you another ice cream, so in the meantime you can talk with my friend Hekapoo right over here...

Hekapoo:

What? Why do I have to take care of her?

Janna:

Don’t be rude, just keep her distracted for a few minutes, alright?

Hekapoo:

Okay...

[Janna goes to buy an ice cream while Hekapoo just sits on the bench looking at the girl in silence. Then she starts crying again]

Hekapoo:

Oh, come on little girl,dont cry. I… I… I don’t really know what to do in these situations. [she thinks for a moment until she gets an idea] I got it.

[Hekapoo uses her powers to materialize a group of tiny ballerinas and makes them dance in front of the girl, which makes her stop crying]

Little girl:

[clapping] Bravo… I love ballerinas.

Hekapoo:

[looking exhausted] I’m glad you liked it.

[In that moment, Janna returns with the ice cream]

Janna:

There you go... [gives the ice cream to the girl]

Little girl:

Ice cream. Thanks.

Janna:

You welcome sweetie, just remember to be more careful next time. Now if you excuse us. We have to go...

Little girl:

Bye ballerinas… [she waves goodbye to both of them as they leave]

Janna:

[to Hekapoo] Are you okay? You don’t look so well.

Hekapoo:

I’m fine. I just... need to take a short break.

Janna:

You did a great job back there. Come on, I’ll buy you a cotton candy.

Hekapoo:

Thanks.

ACT III

[Cut to an old lady on an electric wheelchair who can’t move around because their brakes were cut. Marco and Jeremy are watching her from the distance]

Jeremy:

I swear, this evening just keeps getting better every time, don’t you think?

Marco:

It can’t get any worse than this.

Jeremy:

Is that a challenge?

Marco:

You know, I don’t understand you Jeremy...

Jeremy:

It’s MASTER Jeremy to you.

Marco:

It’s like being rich, healthy and successful isn’t enough and you feel the need to shove it on everyone’s faces, and it makes me wonder: Why? What’s the point? Is it because you don’t have any real friends? grow up...

Jeremy:

That’s funny coming from the guy who likes to bang everything that moves like if it was a sport. Also, aren’t you friends with a rich a-hole yourself? because from what I see it: You’re either a masochist, a complete pervert, or a social climber.

Marco:

You don’t even know what you’re talking about. My relationship with Star goes beyond your shallow and materialistic viewpoints.

Jeremy:

Or maybe, that’s what you want to believe. How naive can you possibly be?

Marco:

At least I live in the real world. When was the last time you got out from your cute little bubble, you self entitled prick?

Jeremy:

I don’t need to live on what you call “the real world”, as long as I can humiliate poor saps like you.

Marco:

Is that so? Then how about a bet? If I win I can keep my red belt, my karate certificate AND my comic book collection.

Jeremy:

And if I win?

Marco:

I’ll mow your lawn for a whole year.

Jeremy:

Mmmm, that sounds interesting. I’ll take it.

Marco:

And just to prove to you how sure I am, I’ll let you choose the challenge.

Jeremy:

That’s even better.

Marco:

Yeah, that’s right. Keep that smug grin on your face, because no matter what you choose, I’m 100% percent sure that I’ll kick. your. butt...

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy at the bumper cars. Marco loses all his confidence while Jeremy just watches him smiling with his arms crossed]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] I didn’t think this through, did I?

Jeremy:

Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get it on.

Marco:

I stand corrected: This evening just got worse.

[Cut to Star and Jackie sitting on the ferris wheel. Star uses her wand as a magnifying glass to search for Marco]

Jackie:

Do you see anything?

Star:

I can see Principal Skeeves selling a couple of yearbooks, but there’s no sign of Marco whatsoever. What about you?

Jackie:

Well, It’s hard for me to see from this height, but so far I haven’t found anything yet.

Star:

[sigh] I’m getting tired of this. I wonder if Janna and Hekapoo already found him.

Jackie:

They would have already told us if that were the case

Star:

How can you be so sure? What if they’re conspiring against us to have Marco all for themselves?

Jackie:

Don’t be so paranoid Star. We all made a truce, remember?

Star:

I know that, it’s just that I don’t really trust Janna right now. I mean, look at what she did behind our backs.

Jackie:

Listen, I can understand why you’re so upset. I’m very upset too, but I’m trying to keep myself under control. That way is easier for me to deal with my problems.

Star:

You make it sound so simple, but I just... don’t have the same level of patience as you Jackie.

[Star holds her knees and lowers her head while Jackie watches her concerned]

Jackie:

Star, can I confess something very personal to you?

Star:

Sure.

Jackie:

Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the calm and composed person you see right now...

Star:

Get out of here...

Jackie:

But it’s true. The thing is...

[Cut to a black and white flashback of Jackie’s childhood. She’s painting a watermelon while everyone else is playing outside]

Jackie:

[narrating] When I was 8 years old, I was having a bit of a hard time. My folks got divorced due financial difficulties and at the time I used to think it was my fault because I was a kid and didn’t know better... [finishes the drawing and throws it away]

[Cut to Jackie’s mother (face unseen) talking with the school counselor while he shows her the report card of her daughter. Jackie is sitting next to her]

Jackie:

[narrating] ...my low self esteem started to affect my grades as well, and even though my mom told me countless times that it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t simply believe it. I thought she just said that to make me feel less guilty about the divorce...

[Cut to Jackie receiving a dog for christmas while her mother is knitting a scarf next to the tree]

Jackie:

[narrating] My mom did everything she could to make me feel better. She even bought me a dog that I named Pickles. But it actually made things worse when I accidentally gave it chocolate while looking for some dog food, but couldn’t find any… again, I didn’t know any better back then...

[Cut to Jackie and her mother standing next to Pickles grave. She starts crying while holding her mother’s leg]

Jackie:

[narrating] It wasn’t until that moment my mom decided to take me to the beach without prior notice. I’m not exactly sure why she chose that place in particular, but what I do know is that it was an experience that I’ll never forget...

[Jackie is playing with a red ball next to the shore]

Jackie:

[narrating] I was playing with my favorite red ball very close to the shore. Back then I was full of energy and could play to kick the ball around for hours and hours. And just when I thought I was finally letting go all my anxiety, tragedy struck again. I kicked my ball so hard that it fell onto the sea...

[Jackie runs to the sea to get her ball back, but gets stopped by her mother]

Jackie:

[narrating] And thank goodness my mom stopped me because at the time I didn’t know how to swim, but most importantly: I witnessed one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen in my entire life... [watches a group of dolphins playing with the ball] Now, I don’t know exactly how to put into words the wide variety of emotions I felt that day, but something about those dolphins and their playful and carefree lifestyle, got me so fascinated that I became obsessed with those animals. My mom of course received my new hobby with open arms and encouraged me to learn how to surf to get closer with them, that led me to learn how to skate and the rest is history...

[Cut back to Star and Jackie at the ferris wheel]

Star:

Wow, who would’ve thought that the reason behind your love for skating could be so… deep.

Jackie:

Well, it’s the closest thing to surf when I’m on firm land.

Star:

Jackie: I want to apologize for all the things I did to you so far.

Jackie:

What are you talking about?

Star:

Don’t act like you don’t know, I’m talking about the kiss incident, the time I forced you to lie, the time I used that spell to spy on you and Marco. You deserve better and I definitely crossed the line.

[Jackie smiles at Star and grabs her shoulder to comfort her]

Jackie:

The fact that you can come clean about this in such a transparent and honest way is enough for me. I really appreciate the gesture and it makes me glad that you consider me more than just your rival.

Star:

And I just want you to know that no matter which one of us win Marco’s affections, I still want to keep our friendship alive.

Jackie:

So do I Star. So do I… [they smile at each other]

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy at the bumper cars facing each other. Jeremy looks much more confident than Marco, who tries to keep his composure]

Jeremy:

What’s the matter? Feeling a little under the weather already?

Marco:

Yeah, you wish.

Jeremy:

You know, you still got time to walk out of this and avoid the public humiliation. Just sayin’.

Marco:

Oh, so now all of a sudden you act compassionate, huh? What a hypocrite.

Jeremy:

Don’t say I didn’t warn you...

Marco:

[mocking voice] “Don’t say I didn’t warn you” I’ll show you how to...

[Jeremy bumps Marco against the wall without any warning. Marco already starts feeling sick]

Marco:

That’s not fair, I wasn’t ready.

Jeremy:

Welcome to the real world honey...

Marco:

[feeling dizzy] You’ll see...

[Marco tries to bump Jeremy, but feels too sick to focus and gets bumped as a result]

Jeremy:

So, what do you think about my driving skills? Not bad for a three times regional champion in Mario Kart 8, huh?

[Marco is too sick to pay attention to him]

Jeremy:

Hey, I’m talking to you. Pay attention!!!

[Jeremy bumps Marco once again and as a result, he throws up all across the floor, causing a malfunction]

Microphone voice:

Ladies and gentleman, the operator speaking here… uhm, due a small inconvenience regarding the electric floor, it’s my duty to inform you that we’re gonna have to close for the rest of the evening. In the name of the staff, we’re sorry. Have a good night.

[Everyone starts booing both Marco and Jeremy]

Jeremy:

[smiling] Ah, the sweet sound of public discontent. What’s not to love?

Marco:

It’s official: This is the worst day of my life.

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco while eating cotton candy]

Hekapoo:

This is actually pretty good.

Janna:

I told ya.

Hekapoo:

You know, as a member of the Magic High Commission I never got the time to enjoy things like this...

Janna:

Really? [looks at one of the stands] Have you ever played “shooting ducks”?

Hekapoo:

Never heard of it.

Janna:

Then follow me, Flaming Lips...

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, now we were supposed to be looking for Marco, but… yeah, why not?

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo playing “shooting ducks”]

Hekapoo:

[shooting at some ducks] I got them...

Janna:

Wow, not bad for a first timer. What’s your secret?

Hekapoo:

Well, I may be not familiar with this game, but we do have target practice on Mewni. It’s part of our job.

Janna:

[shooting ducks] So, you don’t use magic for those kind of things?

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Here we go again: Humans assuming that just because we use magic on Mewni, our lives are somehow less complicated than theirs. Look, it doesn’t work like that, okay?

Janna:

Well, you tell me... The only knowledge I have about the topic comes from Star and her magic wand.

Hekapoo:

Star is a princess, which means she has the privilege to use magic in a less restrictive way, but for entities like me, magic is more of a device we use to facilitate our jobs.

Janna:

Sounds pretty boring if you ask me...

Hekapoo:

It’s not that bad, I mean… you get used to it after a couple of centuries or so...

Janna:

Hold on: How old are you exactly?

Hekapoo:

Like 700 years more or less. I don’t know, I stopped keeping track such a long time ago...

Janna:

Oh… You look great for your age.

Hekapoo:

Thanks.

Janna:

By the way, now that we’re knowing each other a little better, I have to ask: How exactly did you and Marco meet in the first place?

Hekapoo:

It’s a bit complicated to explain, but long story short: I was looking for my dimensional scissors after Princess Pony Head took them away without permission, and when I finally track them down it just so happened that Marco had them in his possession.

Janna:

Wow, talk about bad timing...

Hekapoo:

And that’s not all: Apparently, he also was under the impression that the scissors belonged to Star, so he did everything that he could to get them back and spent 16 years doing it. Which, by the way are just a few minutes in your dimension...

Janna:

So that’s when you and Marco… you know…

Hekapoo:

Well, 16 years is a lot of time and a lot of things happened, but… yeah. And just between you and me: Those were some of the best years of my life. Finding that fleshwad was one of the greatest accidents that happened to me in a long, long time...

Janna:

Yeah, Marco is certainly one of a kind...

Hekapoo:

I mean, a guy who’s able to take care of five clones at a time? That’s not something you can forget so easily, even when you’re more than 700 years old.

Janna:

Wait a minute… did just say FIVE clones at a time?

Hekapoo:

Yep, and all without breaking a sweat...

Janna:

Is that so? [thinking to herself] I think my mind just got a great idea...Oh, Marco you’re gonna love me for this, hehehe...

Hekapoo:

Okay, this was fun and all, but I think we should keep with our search...

Janna:

Yeah, about that: After a thoughtful consideration, I think I might have found the perfect solution to our little dilemma with Marco...

Hekapoo:

[raising an eyebrow] Keep talking...

[Cut to Star and Jackie returning to the meeting point along with Janna and Hekapoo]

Jackie:

So, did you found something that can lead us to Marco?

Janna:

Not exactly, but Hekapoo and I’ve been talking for a while and… We want to make you an offer to settle down our main problem...

Hekapoo:

Something like: A permanent solution if you prefer...

[Star and Jackie look at each other]

Star & Jackie:

We’re listening...

[Cut to Marco carrying a bunch of junk food while Jeremy walks right next to him whistling happily]

Jeremy:

Come on, hurry up barf bag. We still have a lot of work to do...

Marco:

[getting angry] I’ve had ENOUGH OF THIS!!! [he throws the food to the floor]

Jeremy:

What are you doing you retard?!!! I was about to eat that...

Marco:

[taking off the disguise] I’m so sick of you and your smug, cocky, arrogant and overall demeaning attitude. You think you’re SO clever and SO mature for your age when in reality you’re nothing but a hollow, self absorbed, worthless scumbag that stomps on everything that’s pure and decent because nobody, and I mean NOBODY likes you... And you know what? You may take my red belt, my certificate and even MY FREAKIN’ SOUL for all I care, but it’s not gonna change the fact that you’re a total loser, a waste of human life, a leech that depends on its parents money to survive... because in the grand scheme of things Jeremy, you’re part of the problem and I’m not gonna waste my time with you any longer, you hear me? So do me a favour and take all your money and all your worthless privilege and GO. F***. YOURSELF!!! [spits at the floor] God, you’re pathetic.

Star:

[o.s] Marco?

[Marco turns around and sees Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo right behind him]

Marco:

[getting nervous] Uhm, girls, what a nice surprise...

Jeremy:

Good luck getting your butt kicked by your girlfriends, loser...

[Jeremy leaves the scene while laughing hysterically]

Marco:

Okay, listen up… I have an explanation for for all of this, ehm… [he checks his pockets to find the scissors] where did I put them?

Janna:

[holding Marco’s scissors] Oh, were you looking for these?

Marco:

Oh, crap...

Hekapoo:

I’ll keep the scissors for now on... [Janna gives them to her] Thank you.

Janna:

[crossing her arms] So, what do you have to say in your defense?

[Marco quickly gets on his knees to beg mercy while the girls just look at each other in confusion]

Marco:

[crying] I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I know what I did was inexcusable and you have all the right to be mad at me, but please… this whole evening has been the most painful, cringe inducing experience of my life and I just can't take any more punishment… please, don’t hurt me.

Star:

[crossing her arms] Hurt you? Oh no, Marco Diaz. We have a much better idea.

[Cut to Mewni’s castle. Hekapoo opens a portal in the middle of a hallway and Marco and the girls come out of it. They walk by and come across a giant grey wall]

Hekapoo:

It’s all yours Princess Butterfly...

Star:

I hope this works... [raises her wand] Vulgo Apertis Ianus!!!

[A giant wooden door appears on the wall, so they open it and walk through a long narrow hallway lightened by torches]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Well, this is it. The end of the line for me. Goodbye world, it was nice to meet you. Mother, Father: I hope one day you’ll understand and forgive me for what I...

Star:

Well, here we are.

[At the end of the hallway, they come across a giant door. Star opens it and they get inside a giant room with a pool sized bathtub some pillars around it and harp music to set the mood]

Marco:

Star, what is this place?

Star:

[closing the door] My parents private bathroom. This is where they come when they want to be alone and forget about their royal duties for a moment.

Hekapoo:

Also, it’s one of the few places inside the castle that can’t be reached using dimensional scissors, so it’s safe to assume that no one will interrupt us...

Marco:

But… I thought you were mad at me for what I did.

Jackie:

Although we’re still a bit upset for the way you handled the situation...

Janna:

We talked about it came to the conclusion that... punish you it’s not exactly the best solution.

[They all stripped down to nothing but their underwear as they speak. Marco blushes and feels his heart beating faster as a result]

Hekapoo:

Besides: We assume that part of this problem was our fault too. We got too competitive with each other and put you on a very difficult situation.

Star:

So bottom line: We’ll allow you to keep things the way they are...

Everyone:

If you can take care or all of us.

Hekapoo:

So what do you say fleshwad? Will you accept the challenge?

[Marco closes his eyes and takes a deep breath]

Marco:

Alright, let’s do this.

MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 5: CARNIVAL

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