#ugh. will likely delete this later just DO NOT WANT TO GO TONIGHT.

[planet4546b]

shockingly getting told that i suck at my job and my students all hate me makes me not thrilled to go back to practice tonight

[kinos-fortress-2]

does this even looks like a tf2 fanart anymore

[uncuredturkeybacon]

𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 || 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚐𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

in which paige takes her pen pal on a date

a date.

that’s all it was. a date.

a first date.

to say paige was nervous was an understatement. she didn’t know what to plan for a date, let alone a first one. when was the last time she went on a date?

it’s been a week since you’ve met and paige is pacing back and forth her shared dorm living room. azzi and kk are sat on the couch, munching on some popcorn like they were watching some kind of television show.

“if you keep pacing i’m pretty sure you’ll burn a hole in the ground.”

paige freezes in her spot, turning to glare at azzi. “i’m not pacing.”

“girl boo! yes you are!” kk grabs paige by her shoulders and forces her to sit down. “we get it, you’re nervous—”

“—i’m not nervous,” paige interrupts.

“bookie be so for real right now,” kk deadpans, not believing paige at all.

“okay! fine, i’m nervous. so fucking nervous cause she’s so pretty and like what if she hates me after this? what if she realized i wasn’t as cool as the letters made me out to be?” paige spiraled and her friends hadn’t seen her like this before. 

“okay, let’s just calm down. paige, you’ve been texting and calling nonstop since meeting in person. if she didn’t like you then she wouldn’t be doing that.”

they were right. 

she was nervous. 

paige bueckers has never been this nervous in her life.

not before a championship game, even before her first game back from her injury. 

but now? she’s sat on her bed, phone in one hand, a notebook filled with scribbled-out ideas in the other? she was freaking out.

for some reason, this felt bigger than anything she had ever faced in the court.

she had spent the past half hour staring at a blank text message, trying to come up with something casual, something cool. but every time she types something, she immediately deleted it.

“hey, wanna go out some time?”

(nope, too vague.)

“i was thinking we could go out to dinner this weekend?”

(ugh, too basic.)

“what’s up? wanna go to the gym with me?”

(really? a gym?)

she groaned, flopping onto her back and staring at the ceiling. this shouldn’t be this hard. she had spent months writing you letters, talking about everything from childhood stories to her most embarrassing moments. and yet, not that she had the chance to actually take you on a real date, her brain was short-circuiting.

she eventually goes with her gut, writing a short note and taping it on your door with a single rose. she knocks on the door and runs away, not wanting you to see her yet.

you open the door to find nothing there, but as you were about to close the door, you notice the rose, then the note.

y/n,

i would love to take you out on a date tonight. pick you up at six? dress casual but comfortable.

text me your answer.

-p

paige was pacing in her room, hoping to get a message from you. minutes later, she hears a ding. scrambling for her phone, she sees a message.

it’s a date.

she jumps, pumping her fist in the air.

before she knew it, she was outside of your dorm building, leaning against her car, waiting for you to come out.

you walk out shortly after and paige thought you were the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen.

“hey.”

“hi,” paige replied, opening the passenger side door for you. hopping into the driver’s seat, she drives to your destination, not telling you where no matter how many times you ask.

your eyes light up when you saw her pulling into the parking lot.

“the arcade!”

paige smiled so big, loving how excited you looked. “yup! you ready to get your ass beat?”

“oh we'll see about that!”

the arcade was buzzing with noise—bells ringing, kids shouting, the hum of old-school machines filling the air. paige handed you a game card, fingers brushing against yours for a second longer than necessary. she pretended not to notice the way her heart jump at the contact. 

“alright,” she said, cracking her knuckles. “what’s first?”

“you pick,” you challenged.

paige grinned, “say less.”

she led you straight to the basketball shooting game. “figured i’d start with a little warm up.”

you rolled your eyes in feign annoyance, but you were smiling. “of course you picked this one.”

paige swiped the card and grabbed the ball, effortlessly sinking shot after shot. by the time the timer had ran out, she had nearly doubled the previous high score.

she turned to you looking smug. “think you could beat that?”

you crossed your arms, “i know i can.”

paige swiped the card for you, watching you take the ball and to her absolute horror, you started sinking shot after shot like a pro. 

“wait-what?” paige watched with wide eyes as the scoreboard ticked up. 

the buzzer sounds and you barely just surpassed her score, then turned to her with a smirk. “i thought you were the professional one here?”

paige blinked, “okay, hold up—who are you?”

you laughed, “i may have forgotten to mention i played basketball in high school.”

paige groaned, running a hand down her face. “you sandbagged me.”

“maybe a little,” you admitted, grinning.

paige laughed, shaking her head. “okay, that was actually kind of hot, but i will be getting revenge.”

for the next hour, the two of you went back and forth, competing in everything from skee-ball to air hockey. paige had expected to be the dominant one, but you held your own, matching her win for win. she had never met someone who could actually keep up with her competitive side without being obnoxious about it.

by the time you made your way to the claw machine, paige was down my one game.

“alright, i have one last challenge,” she said. “if i win you a prize, i get bonus points and we call it a tie.”

you raised an eyebrow, “or you could just admit i won.”

“not happening.”

you laughed as paige swiped the card and maneuvered the claw toward a stuffed blue dinosaur in the corner. she focused, tongue poking out slightly as she adjusted the controls.

“serious question,” you said, watching her concentrate. “are you this competitive about everything?”

paige didn’t look away from the claw. “only when it matters.”

she pressed the button. the claw descended… grabbed the dinosaur… and promptly dropped it before it could reach the chute.

paige stared, “are you kidding me?”

you burst out laughing. “so close.”

paige sighed dramatically. “alright, fine. you win. but only because the machine is rigged.”

“sure it is,” you teased.

paige shook her head, smiling as she turned to you. “you’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“a little,” you admitted.

she smirked. “guess i’ll just have to redeem myself at ice cream.”

the two of you walked to the ice cream shop down the street, the air crisp but not too cold. paige felt the nerves from earlier completely disappear. the date had gone better than she could’ve hoped, and the best part?

it felt easy.

she stole a glance at you as you debated between flavors, your nose scrunching slightly in thought.

she liked this. she liked you.

once you both had your ice cream, you found a bench outside to sit on.

“so,” paige said between bites. “did i do okay? you know, for a first date?”

you smiled at her. “you did great, p.”

her heart flipped at the nickname, at the warmth in your voice.

“good,” she said, leaning back against the bench, looking up at the sky. “because i’d really like to do it again.”

you nudged her playfully. “only if you’re ready to lose again.”

paige chuckled, shaking her head. “we’ll see about that.”

and as she sat there beside you, eating ice cream under the city lights, she realized something—

this was the best win she’d ever had.

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 13

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hiii! Remember I will be posting a new chapter every Thursday. If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please let me know! Don’t forget to like and repost! <3

Remy’s POV

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, trying on the costume that I ordered. I was going to be sexy Scream. Billie was going to her party dressed as Todd from Bojack Horseman and insisted that I dress up as Princess Carolyn, but honestly I just wanted to go for something more… I don’t know, sexy?

I take a picture and send it to her, hoping for approval.

Immediately I get heart eye and fire emojis, followed by a FaceTime call.

I answered, pointing the camera at the mirror and posing in different ways. “What do we think?”

“Hot. But you’d look hotter as Princess Carolyn.” Billie teased.

I rolled my eyes, reverting to front camera again. “Too bad, Todd.” I stuck my middle finger up at her, then set my phone up on my dresser pointing at me from the waist up. “What time are you getting here tonight?” I asked, unzipping my costume.

“Around 10, probably.”

Turning around to face the other wall, I dropped my bodysuit around my ankles. “You still coming over?” I had to repeat myself, figuring she didn’t hear me. “Billie. You still wanna come over later?” I turned around, clipping my bra back on.

“Sorry, yeah. Duh.” She finally answered. “And those cinnamon rolls better be ready when I get there.” She emphasized.

“They will be. I just have to make the icing.” I pulled on some sweats and grabbed the phone, walking over to my kitchen.

“You mind if I bring someone to your party?” I asked, setting the phone down on the counter as I reached for a bowl and ingredients.

“Not at all. Do I know them?” She asked.

Suddenly my phone started buzzing. “Hold up, I gotta get this call. It’s work.”

“Call me back!” Billie said, before I hung up and answered the next call.

“Hey, Rachel, what’s up?” I held the phone between my shoulder and cheek as I mixed the ingredients together.

“Hey, Remy, is this a good time?” She sounded a bit sporadic.

“Uhh, yeah, what’s going on?” I hesitated.

“Sooo… Remember that interview we did for the digital article we were brainstorming for? The one for the app?”

“The one we did with RAYE?” I put the whisk down and adjusted my phone.

“Yes! That one!”

“What about it?”

“So, Joe wants it up by tomorrow. Something about needing to beat People magazine? An insider told him they’re publishing a similar piece with her.”

“Well, yeah, she’s definitely getting more traction.” I said, already knowing what comes next.

“I know you’re gonna hate me, but I really need you to go to the office, get on my computer, and finish the article out. Oh- And set it to be published by tomorrow in the morning!” Her high pitched voice was fast and panicked.

“Rachel, I had plans tonight and-“

“I’d do it myself but I’m all the way in San Diego at this conference thing. Its mostly done, and saved to my drafts. It’s really urgent.” She pleaded, knowing Joe would be extremely pissed if she didn’t follow through.

“Sure, I’ll be on my way in a little bit.”

“Ugh! You’re the best! I owe you one! Don’t forget to credit yourself on the article too!” She squealed.

“Oh, trust me, I won’t.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you later, don’t worry.”

“Love ya, girly! Thanks again!” She hung up.

I groaned, finishing up the icing and shoving the bowl in the fridge. In my room, I threw on a yellow baby tee, some wide legged jeans, and put my hair in a red claw clip. I stopped by the round mirror next to my apartment door to check on my face, fixing the minor details, and walked out with my beige crossbody bag.

At the office when I accessed Rachel’s computer, I quickly realized I had a lot of work to do. I sat for hours editing, deleting, then retyping her work. My eyes were shutting on me as I concluded the article, exhausting my brain to come up with anything impressive.

My phone began to ring, making me jump. I answered the call, my heart racing from the sudden scare.

“Hey, I just landed!” Billie sang.

“Fuck. Hey, I’m sorry, I got so busy and I’m stuck at the office right now-“

“Remy!” She moaned. I could hear her disappointment through the phone.

“No, don’t worry, I’m wrapping it up! Just head over to my place and wait for me in there. You still have my spare key, right?”

“Yeah.” She said, monotoned.

“I’ll be there so soon, just put those cinnamon rolls in the oven and by the time they’re ready, I’ll be there with you.”

“Okay, Rem.” She said goodbye.

I cracked my knuckles and rolled my shoulders back, sitting up straight. I used every single one of my last brain cells to come up with a brilliant conclusion to the article. I let the interview speak for itself and included some quotes from the amazing Raye, but I found myself in the biggest case of writers block I’ve ever had. All I could think about was how much I hated Rachel in this moment for making me do this myself, knowing Joe would give her all the credit.

Eventually, after an hour and a half, I finished what could possibly be the worst article I’ve ever written. It wasn’t bad, just rushed, and I usually don’t work well under pressure. Before posting the article, I stared at the space underneath, where credit is usually given to the writer and editor. I hesitated to delete Rachel’s name, and typed in my own. I stared at it some more, deleting my name and retyping Rachel’s full name, then my name under editor. I sighed, setting the article to be posted tomorrow morning at 8am.

I shut the laptop and grabbed all my things, rushing out the door.

When I arrived at my apartment building, I pressed the elevator button a million times, ending up at my door and unlocking it as fast as I could.

I opened my door, psyched to see my best friend, only to see her passed out on my couch in her comfy clothes. I quietly closed the door, hanging my things on the tiny rack. In the kitchen, was a half empty baking tray with cinnamon rolls. The icing was poured over, and the rolls were starting to get cold. I put them away, covering the top with foil, and cleaned up a little.

I tip toed over to my couch, wondering how she was able to fall asleep on a two seater comfortably. She was curled up in a little ball, with my pastel crocheted blanket covering half of her face. I smiled down at her, feeling awful I made her wait so long alone. I wanted to welcome her home with open arms, and fresh, warm cinnamon rolls.

I turned off the tv, and turned down the lights, leaving only my soft, warm, reading lamp on. I patted her lightly. “Billie… I’m home.” I brushed the hair that fell over her eyes behind her ear, and leaned down to hug her tired body. I buried my face in her neck and took that sweet, familiar scent in, bringing a smile to my face. I wish I could carry her to my bed, but let’s be honest, I don’t have any upper body strength. “You’re so warm, and you smell like cinnamon rolls.” I whispered.

She let out a slight moan and stretched out her curled up feet. Her lashes fluttered open, turning her neck a little as I sat up. “Hi!” I smiled ear to ear.

“Remyyyyy!” She stretched her arms out, wrapping them around my neck.

“Hiii! It’s me!”

“I missed you.” she pulled me into her chest. I crawled on top of her and laid there, propping my head up to see her.

“I know, I’m sorry I made you wait. It was an emergency.”

“You know what else is an emergency?” she said, lifting a brow, jokingly. “Me kicking your ass for not spending any time with me while I’m here.”

“Stop!” I laughed, deep down feeling awful. “No more. I’m all yours for the rest of the weekend.”

She placed both her hands on my face, looking at me for a moment, before squishing my cheeks together. “You better be.”

I placed my hands on top of hers, taking in the moment. I had missed her so much. Nothing was going to keep me from spending time with her. She deserved my undivided attention for making the time to see me. I believe she felt the same, her eyes scanning me as I smiled up at her.

“Okay. I need to see this costume in person.” She broke the silence.

I laughed, “Okay, let’s go.” I stood up, pulling her into my room.

I pulled out the costume and began to undress. Billie sat on my bed, her legs criss crossed. “So, who are you bringing tomorrow?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m probably not gonna bring anyone anymore.”

“Aw, why? They cancelled?” She leaned back on her hands.

“No, it’s not that. I just wanna hang out with you there.” I pulled up my nylon tights.

“Nah, bring your friend, Rem. We can all hang out!” She shrugged.

“Really?” I smiled, squeezing into the tight bodysuit.

“Is it Rachel?” She asked, signaling me over to her so she could zip me up.

“No. It’s this girl.”

“At least it’s not some guy.” She laughed, sliding the zipper up, adjusting my straps.

“Well, no it’s not a guy, but it’s this girl I’ve sorta been talking to.” I admitted, nervously.

I’d never really been in a serious relationship with a woman, at least not in the way I had with a man. I don’t think I’d ever told Billie I tried with girls, despite them being some of my favorite interactions. They were too short lived to bring up. I knew how hesitant she was about my relationships, and didn’t usually bring them around her until it was serious. Especially because I had been used to get near Billie before. Especially by girls.

“Like, as friends?” She turned me around, keeping her hands on my shoulders.

“No…” I pursed my lips.

“Wow! I didn’t know you-“ She blinked rapidly, looking shocked. “That’s awesome, Rem.” She let go, realizing she was still holding onto my shoulder straps.

“Yeah, it’s kinda a new thing, I guess…”

“No, I’m just… Why didn’t you ever tell me? I mean you know I’m-“ She scooted to the edge of the bed, her legs hanging off the side. “I’m sorry, this is just the first I’m hearing of this Remy.” She giggled, her eyes wide.

“Jeez, is it that surprising?” I smacked her tummy.

“Yes!” She laughed. “What’s her name? Who is she?” She pulled me on the bed, desperately trying to gather as much information as she could. “Show me her instagram!”

“Her name’s Stevie. She works at Variety with me. She’s an intern.” I pulled up her instagram showing her my favorite pictures.

“Ouu, cute.” She took the phone from my handed scrolling through her whole profile. “How long has this been a thing? Is it like a serious thing?”

“No, no. We’re just talking. She… I don’t even think she knows I like her like that.” I shrugged, laughing a bit.

“Oh, well she definitely likes you. You look her type.” She handed me back my phone.

“Her type?” I looked at her.

“Yeah, pretty girls with pretty eyes, long hair, and tattoos.” She looked me up and down, pointing at my arm tattoos.

I laughed, getting up and walking over to my body mirror. “I hope so.”

She stayed quiet, watching me look in the mirror.

“So? What do you think?” I looked over my shoulder at her.

“You look stunning. Insane.” Billie smiled at me. I could see her through the mirror, her expression turning blank once I turned.

“Is that why you didn’t wanna be Princess Carolyn with me?”

“Kinda?” I turned to her, shrugging.

“You’re such a loserrr!”

“But I’m a sexy loser.” I held my finger up in the air, making her laugh. I took a couple pictures of myself in the mirror.

“Here.” She offered to take them for me, pulling out her phone. I posed, the flash reflecting off the mirror behind me. She leaned back, getting my best angles, as always.

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked girls?” She asked, her voice soft and quiet.

She sounded a bit hurt, like I hid something from her. I couldn’t help but feel like I kept a part of myself from her.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” I walked over to her, turning around so she could unzip me.

“How long?”

“Mmm… a while. You remember Cassie?”

She nodded.

“We did some things… I think that’s when I realized.”

“You never told me about that!” She crossed her arms.

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” I shrugged, stepping out of my costume, pulling off my tights. “It’s not like I had anything serious with any of them. I’ve only ever told you about my serious relationships.”

“Well yeah, but-“ She stopped herself, looking disappointed. I put a giant t-shirt on over my bra and underwear, and hung up my costume for tomorrow. “You tell me everything. I told you…”

“I know.” I climbed on my bed, getting under the sheets. “I thought you kinda knew, I guess.”

“Well…” She crawled over and made herself comfortable next to me. “Now that I know… You better not hit on me.” She joked.

I laughed, grabbing my pillow and hitting her in the face with it. “You wish.” I rolled my eyes.

“Ow! My eye!” She held her face, wincing her eyes.

“Oh shit! I’m sorry!” I grabbed her face, moving her hand so I could see. “I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“Gotcha bitch!” She licked the side of my face and rolled away, almost falling off the bed. She laughed that crazy, loud laugh I loved so much.

“Oh- Fuck you dude come here!” I kicked my feet into her back, pushing her off the edge as she died of laughter.

I got back in my spot, fluffing my pillow and getting comfortable again. She stood up, pushing her hair out of her face and plopping back on the bed with me. “My stomach hurts from laughing so much.” She put a hand on her tummy, breathing deeply to catch her breath.

My full-size bed was just big enough for the both of us, as long as I kicked off a few of my many pillows. I turned on our show, letting it run in the background as we talked a bit more before falling asleep.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” I smile, still paying attention to the tv.

“Me too.” She said, pausing to laugh at something one of the characters on tv said. “So are you bringing Stevie?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Do you think she’ll like my costume?”

“She’s going to die when she sees you.” Her voice sounded genuine.

“Do you think I should ask her out tomorrow?” I looked over at her, putting a hand on my mouth.

She looked at me, not knowing what to say. She bit her bottom lip, shrugging with her eyebrows instead of her arms, since they were warmly tucked under my blankets. “I mean, maybe just wait and see what she says. You don’t wanna push things, you know?” She advised me.

I nodded, looking back at the tv.

“That’s just what I’d do, you know?” Her eyes stayed on me. “But, do whatever feels right.” She added.

“Right.” Nod, snuggling closer to her, laying my head on her shoulder. She yawned, letting me know it was getting late.

A silent while later, I lift my head to see a passed out Billie. After turning my tv and lamp off, I lay my head on my pillow, facing her. She peacefully slept with her mouth slightly open and a furrow on her brows so soft, you could only tell if you looked close enough. I smooth it out with my thumb gently, watching her lick her lips and grunt. Her body turned towards me, our chests parallel to each other. She sloppily threw her arm over me, her fingertips resting on my lower back, which my oversized t-shirt had left exposed. I pulled the bottom hem, attempting to cover up, even though it didn’t matter anyway.

The last thing I saw before shutting my eyes and drifting off, was Billie’s face. She always made soft angry or worried faces in her sleep. I had so many pictures on my camera roll of her funny faces during naps. I smiled thinking about the party tomorrow, and how I get Billie for the rest of the weekend.

I took a mental screenshot of my view and dozed off.

[rollercoasterwords]

one and seven for the ask game!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hi lia <3 <3

Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling?

absolutely yes! i mean fic in particular is extremely derivative but honestly all writing is derivative...i am always pulling inspiration from other stories i've loved which have stuck w me <3 gonna focus on wfrau in particular just to avoid this answer getting too long + bc that's what i've been writing most recently but. i've pulled inspiration from the animorphs series bc there are lots of fun ethical dilemmas brought up throughout that stuck w me after reading it; a particular scene from the anime 'banana fish' influenced james's story, though i can't say much more abt that without risking spoilers for the anime...if you've seen it you'll probably know which scene it influence tho lol. the crypt ch was influenced by book 4 of the fablehaven series which i read growing up as a kid--i loved book 4 bc it involved the main characters going on a mission into this underground treasure vault and having to fight past different traps to deeper down...so fun <3 the idea to write a werewolf fighting ring au in the first place came from me remembering a book i'd read as a kid called 'the abused werewolf rescue group,' though i couldn't actually tell you anything abt the plot anymore...and i'm sure there are a thousand other bits & pieces of media that have been floating around in my brain as i've written but those r the main ones coming to mind rn!

7. Share a line or paragraph you’ve written that you don’t think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don’t hoard cut sentences and passages like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

ugh see i really should save my writing better...generally w the way i write i'm not usually cutting entire scenes but it has happened once or twice & i've just. deleted it...

i can share a snippet of a pandalily time war au that i wrote about 2 pages of like 2 years ago but don't think i'll ever return to/complete so it will likely never see the light of day...here u go:

The low chatter—that is something that does not change. Gather enough people into a room, call it a party, close your eyes and it could be 1992 in Los Angeles or 761 in Koumbi Saleh or 1674 in Beijing. Humans will buzz like insects no matter what time you put them in, forever and ever and ever. Sometimes Lily wishes that they still existed; she scrubs the thought from her hard drive before her programming reads it as a virus. Humans do exist, forever. One only has to choose the right time.

This time, she is drinking wine. She is wandering through bodies, smiling and feeling the way it shapes her face. She steps past the marble columns, onto the terrace, under the moonlight that kisses her eyelids so gently when she closes them. She can feel the light, you know. That’s something she can do.

“Red suits you.”

The person beside her is a woman, today, or something like it. She wears the same clothing, white sweep of cloth, though she’s never quite able to get the same softness. It drapes willowy, slow-moving, with fingers that gnarl like roots.

“I’m too tired to kill you tonight,” Lily says, biting through the Latin with her canines like rich meat. “Go somewhere else.”

The woman smiles, slow and creeping, a lichen on the bark of a tree.

“Another place?”

“Another time.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I like the wine.”

She isn’t drinking any. She watches the cup in Lily’s hands. When Lily takes a sip, the woman’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, pink and human.

“They have wine later,” Lily tells her, “And before.”

“Not like here,” the woman says, “Not like tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“And what makes it different tonight?”

The woman smiles. She is standing so very close. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

fic writer ask game

[girlsbeingtheirbestself]

get out of a rot 🧖‍♀️🎀🎧📖🌺

hey guys!

so recently i have just been not doing great. I spend hours scrolling, I havent been washing my hair enough or my face i have a messy room and ive not been eating great or doing enough exercise i just feel…. ugh. the people that get it, get it. idk how many people can see this but if you’re feeling the same… we are gonna get out of this together! lmk in the comments pls! 

ok so i don’t want to loose a load of readers by saying this but just hear me out and ill explain why in a second! i have deleted insta tiktok and snap. I KNOW. its just the main cause of my rot and im gonna reinstall snap i think because i need it to text my friends but i deleted so i can GET RID OF THIS FLIPPING ACCICTION! its bad. i go on my phone and ipad (i know) wayyyy to much. that has been my first step. ive had it deleted a couple days and im gonna try keep it as long as poss. i feel much less stressful too because im not waiting for replies 24/7! its quite good actually. 

now tomorrow if you can here is what you are gonna do:

tonight, go to bed at 9.00 or 10.00 earliest you can. (if its later than 7.00 do this tomorrow so you aren’t going to bed late!) put screens away before bed and have a hot shower (or cold however you like) and RINSE AWAY THE ROT! then get in comfy pjs. read until you are tired. listen to a sleep story and fall asleep

ok…here is the plan for the day.

wake up at 6 or 6.30 or 7 am whichever works best for you. don’t groan and pull the covers over your head. get up and put on sports shorts and a baggy tshirt. go for a short fast run and come back tired and sweaty. stretch for a few mins and do an ab workout (lmk if you want the best one i know!) pour yourself a glass of ice water and gulp it down. get in the shower and wash, shave if you like to. wash your hair use your fav products and then get out and put lotion all over. get into comfy but presentable cute clothes and tidy your room - start with your bed and tidy the best you can. you shouldn’t have touched your phone yet. just pretend you are still asleep. go to the kitchen and cook your fav breakfast. avo on toast? pancakes with maple syrup? whatever you want babes. ok now clear up and if you have any get some simple homework done. i know big tasks seem scary but it will feel easier. write 3 achievable goals for the day in a notebook along with your thoughts. just write whatever. this will be your lifeline for your unrotten life. DRINK WATER! im shit at this but it cleans you inside and out! then, after what you need to do with your day (if you have nothing to do, connect with freinds family or pets or if you can’t then clean anthing or draw or style your hair or comment on this or start your own blog) take a short walk and cook a nutritious lunch with veg and fruit for dessert. then workout again just a bit to get you sweaty and tired! eat a yum dinner and have a quick shower again. then brush your teeth and tongue and use mouthwash and floss then wash your face. get in your cutest pjs and watch a little tv before bed but do this mindfully, know how long and how much you will watch. then get into your cozy bed and snuggle with your teddies. have a hot tea/milk and a hot water bottle. write how you feel in your journal (just a little scribble, no need for neatness) and read until your tired. fall asleep AND DONT TOUCH YOUR PHONE its you enemy! 

right its 11.30pm now. i should go to bed. night! ill be back with more tips and another routine tomorrow 

see you then xoxo

[gabapentinblues]

journal update 2.22.2025

woke up really not wanting to be alive, waking up has been so horrible recently. the sun is out again so at least thats nice.

i drank three cups of coffee and wrote morning pages. all i ever write about is how miserable i am and how i dont want to be alive. im just embarrassed by how i feel and i miss my therapist and my therapy program so much.

i just ate a banana for breakfast and had a small lunch too. trying to get back on track and actually lose some weight. trying to access a compassionate voice to help me through it. like look your body is still going it has what it needs and youll feel better this way, youll be glad youre doing this. ive lost this amount of weight before, its just tiring to have to do it again. i did maintain for like two years though which is pretty good, cant believe how much i undid in like three months its insane.

might let myself cut tonight we'll see. i took some gabapentin but tbh i dont even feel it i just feel numb.

i put clothes away and tried to straighten up my room a little bit and i worked on some art projects a very little bit, now its just waiting for things to dry i dont have much else to do. once its nice outside later this week ill probably work on getting my things brought in from the garage, im not going to worry about it now.

i was really sad last night and texted my friends that i dont think anyone will ever not treat me badly if i get close to them and no one really replied or was supportive so i felt like i overstepped and they are just getting tired of me. i apologized this morning and my one friend said its not a big deal but i still feel like it is. i still feel unsupported and i dont know who im supposed to turn to or if i can express it to them that i feel this way.

no one is talking to me today and i just feel so alone. ugh and i literally just checked my phone and realized i missed my friends reply from like an hour ago. but the friends im worried about arent texting me and i really do just feel unwanted and angry. i just impulsively deleted the chat so i'll stop checking for a response. i feel like such a loser. i feel like no one respects me and i dont deserve it anyway.

i still get so upset everytime i think about my ex bc i swear theres no way i cross her mind. she obviously doesnt give a fuck about me or we would still talk, i tried everything to work things out between us and im so mad. why doesnt anyone want to stay with me i dont know what i do wrong or how im not finding the right kind of people who would stay. i dont know what im supposed to do. i feel on the verge of spiraling about this.

not hearing back from therapists has me feeling really bad too, i feel like ive been abandonded and no one is going to make sure im okay. i dont know how much longer i'll have to go without real therapy, but going from the amount of support i used to get to nothing has been really hard. i try to talk to my friends but i really dont have that many people i can talk to. my family just ignores me and wants all of this to just fix itself. theres no point in trying to talk to them.

im afraid to tell anyone how much i actually want to die and how little hope i have for the future. i pass the days doing barely anything, i hardly leave the house, i hardly have anyone to talk to, i just drink coffee and lay around on tumblr and sleep and read fanfiction and journal about how pathetic i feel in like three different diaries (including this), sleep some more, and sometimes work on art projects, i barely exist at all. i know i need to be doing more if i actually want to feel better but i dont know how to start. i like sleeping the days away and avoiding everything, part of me wants to see how long i can get away with it.

[teebaby1990]

ugh.. I don't even know.. my brain is a mess. I have all these thoughts.. all these questions. all this pain. I don't even know how to go about sorting the shit show of my emotions. I don't know what good even putting them on paper will do.. I feel like I would be writing for the rest of my life. I am dealing with several different conodrums.. My ex of 5 years.. who manipulated me into thinking that she was finally ready to grow up and get her shit together for us.. that text me and said she was going to be the person I deserved and she wanted to get down on one knee and ask my hand in marriage, for the second time.. to then 2 weeks later finding out she was with her bi coworker who had 6 kids and was just married to a dude.. But hey, as long as she is happy. She was ready to get her shit together and a job, it just wasn't for me.. mind you she was taking me on dates, fucking me and sleeping in my bed. conveniently one day her phone did an update and deleted thousands of photos off her phone.. several days before she stopped talking to me.. I felt so bad like she lost her photos and what not... No stupid me lol.. She was preparing for a clean slate with this chick.. they obviously had been talking a lot longer than I was aware of.. and that's fine. She is just the next victim..

Dated a chick for a month or so in between me and the ex's breakup #174982965. The chick was rad. Fit, adventurous, sweet, loving.. everything that I was searching for and didn't get with my prior ex. One month in and I was head over heels. Clearly still coming down from a dopemine high.. I realized that I was in no condition to go down this road with anyone... I had just given 5 years of my life to the person I thought I was going to marry... I had nothing to give myslef let alone someone else..

the ex I dated for the month, her and I tried to be friends... I made my boundaries very clear and where I stood... yet every few days I would get angry text messages guilt tripping me..they text me and said they couldnt handle being friends with me. So we cut all ties.. I randomly would get Tik Tok messages just small talk. I get a message tonight saying they have no expectations when it comes to me, that I'm crazy, I'm hot and cold & I need help... Im so confused.. they text me and say they cant be my friend... we stop talking.. yet now suddenly I need help because they didnt respect my boundaries? I just cant win.. I feel so defeated.

My mom.. God where do I even start. my head hurts. I feel like there is just to much to even try and express, it wouldnt do any good.. I just feel like I am working so hard on communication and boundaries with people... yet I'm not respected when it comes to that. I am constantly made to feel like I'm in the wrong.

[the1975attheirverybest]

(Cabin) Pressure

A/N: This is probably unnecessary and super indulgent, lmao. I just have this impossible urge to baby him, OKAY? he's so....UGH!! anywaysssss!!! As requested by quite a few of you, here's part 2 of the flight one-shot. on a scale from 1 to absolute dumpster fire, lmk how bad it is, lol. Honestly I’m so conflicted about posting it, I might end up deleting later. AND YES SMUT COMING TONIGHT, I PROMISE. Just can't be writing smut at work in case one of my students comes to my office.

Read Part 1 here.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, depiction of panic attack.

----

The guys hurried ahead to give her and Matty some privacy. She felt Matty's hand stiffen in hers as soon as he watched the automatic doors of the Departures Terminal open and his bandmates walk right in. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing quickened.

She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to his body. "Hey," she looked up at him. "You're gonna be alright, yeah?"

Matty gave her a weak smile, nodding slowly. He wasn't sure he believed her. He wanted to. Desperately. But he couldn't control it. It was like his body reflexively reacted to his surroundings before his mind could step in and control how he felt. He could physically sense the tension seeping into his body, right on cue.

"Well, shall we?" he turned to her.

"No pressure. Take as long as you need. We've got time. We'll go in whenever you're ready."

"But the lads-"

"Matty, look at me...there you are. We'll catch up with them at the gate, yes? It's okay." Her free hand moved to touch his face, the sensation grounding him.

"Right, sorry, I'm being silly." he smiled timidly. "Okay, think I'm read. Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

She kept her eye on him as they made their way through the airport, watching his body for any signs of stress.

Matty stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the airline counters at the end of the hall.

"Fuck! My passport! Don't think it's in my bag! I don't remember seeing it-"

"Oh, god, sorry! I- I took it." she winced and looked apologetically up at him. "Sorry, I- uh, I thought if I kept track of the tickets, paperwork, and passports it...would give you some wiggle room so you didn't have to worry about sorting that stuff out...It's all with me! I have them here..."

To her surprise, and relief, Matty burst out laughing. "I think by thinking so hard about not panicking, I'm startin' to stress myself out. Alright, deep breaths."

She watched Matty close his eyes and take two deep breaths. Inhaling slowly, then opening his eyes as he exhaled.

"Okay, I'm all good now." He smiled, genuine this time. "And, thank you, baby, that was really kind of you to do." He dipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out their documents as they approached the counter. "I can do it if you'd like..."

"No, it's okay. Think I can handle this. But, umm, keep holdin' my hand?" He blushed as he heard his own words leave his lips.

"Of course. I'm right here. All the way until security physically separates us."

***

With check-in and security now behind them, they wandered the airport in search of their gate, and the rest of their group. Matty seemed to relax a little, so she took the chance to suggest breakfast.

"Hey, wanna go over there and get something to eat?" she point towards the express version of some chain restaurant.

"Too anxious to eat. Afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"Please, baby? the nausea's probably worse when you're operating on an empty stomach. Let me buy you a little snack? you don't have to eat it right away..." She noticed Matty's attention shift from her gentle pleading to something else, something right behind her. "What're you looking at?" she frowned at the faint smile on his face. Turning around to check what was behind her, she saw a pair of young women, roughly in their early 20s, eyeing him hesitantly and struggling to contain their excitement.

"do you mind waitin' a bit? Think I'll go over there."

"Matty, are you sure? You know you don't have to do that if you're not feeling it."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, my love. Put yourself in their shoes...you're tellin' me that if we bumped into, I don't know, Harry Styles, right now, you wouldn't go up to him to say hello?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I- I wouldn't expect HIM to be the one to come to ME."

"Oh, so now you're telling me that, if Harry Styles were right here, right now, you'd actually have the courage to go up to him yourself?"

She couldn't help but smile. At least, the fact that he took the opportunity to tease her about her celebrity crush was an indicator that he was in a good enough mood. "Alright, let's go say hi." She relented.

"I appreciate you watching out of me." He placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her, and giggling against her lips bit at the sound of the girls squealing behind him before he went over to greet them.

He sweetly introduced himself as Matty and gave each woman a hug, whispering "nice to meet you, Darlin'" as he pulled them in. He signed the backs of their itineraries, agreed to FaceTime a friend, and stood for pictures with them.

"Do you wanna take it or do you want me to take it? Actually, you know what? My girlfriend, here, can take it...Babe?" He gestured for her to come closer, "do you mind?" handing her the girls' phones.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and whispering in her ear as they walked away, waving the girls goodbye and wishing them a safe trip.

"I never said it would be bad! I was-"

"Just trying to take care of me, I know." He kissed her cheek. "But I'm okay. Really. Cuz I've got you."

***

The flight seemed off to a good start, with her and the guys taking turns at sitting with, and distracting, Matty from his thought spiral. Take off was a bit rough for a moment; he visibly broke a sweat and almost crushed her hand in his while the plane settled into altitude. She quickly brought him back the a calm enough state after that, though. They argued over which film to watch, eventually agreed to each watch their own choice, before Matty petulantly abandoned his screen and begged to watch whatever she was watching instead. This, of course, meant that she had to pause and explain the plot to him, bring him up to speed. She pretended to be annoyed with him, but secretly, she was glad for it because, the more that she actively participated in distracting him, the less likely it was that he'd let his mind wander and start overthinking.

Her plan seemed to be working, until it wasn't. 7 hours into the flight, Matty's senses were overwhelmed. He could no longer block the anxious thoughts away by steering his attention towards her, his friends, or whatever forms of entertainment were available to him. He even got out his laptop, tried to do some work to keep his mind occupied, but as time went on, his anxiety sucked more and more of his energy, until his will inevitably weakened, and he succumbed to the catastrophic thinking...

His eardrums pounded with the sound of his own heartbeat, the sounds of his surroundings being reduced to a faint, persistent whisper. He felt the air get sucked out of his lungs, panting and sweating as his eyes scanned the tight quarters. The voice inside his head screamed for him to leave the airplane, but he was aware enough to know that it was physically impossible to escape. Both sides of his brain locked in an impossible battle, the result was a near-complete paralysis. He lost the feeling in his limbs, his vision going blurry. Even breathing became a consuming conscious task. He felt like he was drowning underwater.

"M-matty? my love, what's the matter?" She was immediately alarmed when she'd glanced away from her book to check in with him. "You look like you're gonna be sick...Do you need me to call for someone?"

With great effort, Matty shook his head, looking helplessly at her.

"Talk to me, honey..."

"P-panic attack." he stuttered, short-winded and struggling to breathe.

The words brought instant tears to her eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed by how quickly his pain had crushed her heart, but she wasn't about to make this about herself.

Delicately, she reached around his neck, loosing his tie. "I'm gonna take this off, okay?" explaining each of her movements as she did them so as not to startle him with anything unexpected. Matty's scattered brain was, of course, much too overwhelmed to process anything that she was saying to him, but the softness of her tone somehow made him nod anyway. She stood up, looking a few rows behind her, for George. They'd made an agreement that she would signal to him if she needed his help. Unfortunately, though, George was sound asleep, from what she could tell.

Shifting her attention back to Matty. "I'm gonna undress you, okay?"

She unbuttoned his button-down. "Honey, are you with me? need you to take off your undershirt, okay? it's much too tight."

When he made no effort to follow her instructions, she reached over and took it off for him. “Okay, I’ve got a better shirt for you in my bag. I just need to get it from the overhead bin, alright? I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Matty might as well have been asleep; he made no movement or attempt to acknowledge her, which broke her heart to a million pieces. 

She hurried over to George’s seat kicking it roughly to wake him up. 

“He needs you.” She simply stated as soon as she saw George’s eyes flutter open. 

George cleared his throat several times. “R-right. I’m up; I’m up. I promise.” He stood up, peaking ahead of him to wear Matty was seated. “He’s…naked?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m getting him clothes. But I need you, you gentle giant. Help me get my bag before you sit with him? Just need to get his stuff…”

George sprung into action, following her commands swiftly while she went through her bag to find a 1975 crew neck that was two sizes too big on Matty, and a pair of his joggers. She’d packed them when he insisted on wearing his shirt and tie to the airport, hoping she’d use them under happier circumstances, but right now, she was just glad she’d thought ahead. She went over to the flight attendant and grabbed him some water to go along with the sleeping pills. 

By the time that she’d made it back to their seats George, had somehow talked Matty into reclining his seat, closing his eyes, and apparently leant  him some headphones. “What- how-“

George, ever the wizard, just shrugged. “It’s all I could think of, alright?”

She broke into a smile, kissing her friend’s balding head. “You’re an Angel, George.”

“Hmm.” George hummed, smirking. “Listen, I’ll go get a coffee to wake myself up. Give me a shout if you need me, yeah?”

***

Matty got through the reminder of the flight relatively alright. While he didn't manage to fall asleep, despite the sleeping pills she'd given him, nor did he manage to eat any real meals, the first class reclining chairs were comfortable enough for him to close his eyes and focus on an audio book for a couple of hours, and he did nibble on a piece of buttered toast while wrapped himself up in the blanket she'd bought him and shuffling through her especially curated playlist. The anxiety never completely left him, but he was happy to endure a lower-level persistent anxiousness instead of the sudden panic attack that had gripped him earlier.

At long last, they'd touched down and began their journey out of the airport. Matty always wondered if the arrivals terminal is universally more difficult to get through, or if his impatience to finally be done with the travel part always made it seem so, regardless of where in the world he'd found himself.

At baggage claim, the stress of the journey seemed to catch up to him. He wrapped his armed around her waist, burying his face into the side of her neck and breathing in her scent. Just when he'd closed his eyes, hoping to catch a breath while they waited for the couple of items that they could neither ship ahead of time, nor bring in their carry-ons, to appear on the carousel, he became aware of a couple of people catching on to his presence.

"No, Matty, please." her hand grabbed onto his arm around her waist when she felt him slip away from her, getting ready to greet the fans.

"It's fine, Darlin'" his voice was heavy with sleep, as were his eyes.

She sighed, this time, she couldn't be supportive of his decision. As she spotted his guitar and got ready to retrieve it, she overheard him apologize to a few people for "looking sweaty" and mumbling something about jet lag. Ross stepped in to help her with the bag, listening silently and nodding in agreement as she whispered her complaints about Matty's lack of boundaries. If she'd let him get a word in edgewise, he'd have said "you should've seen him when our career first started, he was acting like he was every fan's best mate." George joined Matty for a moment, saying a quick hello to everyone before politely excusing himself and pulling his friend away. "We've gotta go, Matty, c'mon."

Though George had succeeded in extracting Matty away, his victory was short-lived. At the airport gates, the guys were surprised to find a group of more than just a handful of fans waiting for them. Phone cameras flashed as soon as the gates opened, the crowd calling out and vying for the band's attention.

Adam was the first to jump into their designated car as it pulled up by the side of the building. Ross and George followed shortly behind him. Matty, on the other hand, was quickly separated from them when he paused momentarily, slightly thrown off, by the presence of people on both sides of the gates.

She rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the car. For a moment, Matty let her lead the way, trailing behind her with a hand on her hip to keep from losing her. He kept his head down, but closer he got to the crowd, the louder they were, and the faster his heart beat. His palms were beginning to sweat and breathing was getting difficult again. A voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to take a look around and stop staring at his feet, and when he did, he saw the faces of the people looking at him and he couldn't help it. He let go of her hand, walking over to one group, while the other screamed out his name.

She attempted to call out his name, but her voice was drowned out by the phones beeping, cameras flashing, and excited chatter. She stood there, astounded as he smiled and hugged a few people, apologizing that he couldn't sign someone's phone case because he didn't have a pen on him.

He turned around to the second group, "I promise, I'll get to all of you if we don't cause too much trouble and security doesn't get involved. could we...maybe just move away from the gates?"

She sighed, exasperated by the lengths he was going to. He was practically behaving like a event organizer, ushering people away from the rest of the public.

As well intentioned as his plan was, it did not work out quite as he’d imagined. the moment that he moved people away from the airport gates, everyone naturally formed a circle around him, a few people elbowing their way to the front. He was trapped.

Matty froze in place, fighting to keep his expression straight and suppress the fight or flight response that had kicked in. What had he done? The illusion that he had any control at all over the situation was quickly blown away. She could see his hands shaking by the sides of his body as he struggled to regulate his breathing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

She squeezed her way past an appreciable number of people, trying to get to Matty. “Excuse me, yeah, could I just- get through. Thanks.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey, you,” and leaned into his ear “Matty, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not smart. Let’s leave.”

“Just a second. Almost done.” He whispered, fully aware that there was no way people weren’t listening to their conversation.

“You’re not feeling well, let’s get in the car, please?”

“A few more people-“ she pulled him by the arm dragging him away from people and towards the car. Matty waved apologetically at groaning people who were mumbling how unfair this was, dipping his head low and rushing to keep up with  her. 

The chatter between the guys in the car fell silent as she and Matty climbed in. They settled into the backseat with Matty instantly clinging to her and resting his head on her chest as the car drove away. Her hands reflexively found his hair, running her fingers through it and kissing his forehead.

“Baby? Could I just say something?” Matty spoke, finally breaking the dead silence, once they’d made it onto the highway. 

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She said firmly.

Ross and Adam exchanged a look of surprise. Clearly impressed with, and in support of, her new tone.

Matty lifted his head halfway off of her looking up at her. “But I’d just like to explain-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. Can we not talk about it right now?”

He replaced his head back on her body, her hands resuming their soothing motions through his hair. “Can tell you’re angry.” He mumbled. 

“No shit! Of course I’m angry.” He heard her heartbeat rise as she spoke. Her hands still comforting him though her tone was definitely sharp. 

“I just wanna-“

“I said I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and yet, you keep fuckin’ pushing. Look, I know you love your fans. You’re grateful. And, honestly, it is one of the greatest joys of my life watching you interact with them. The knowledge that you can be so tender and compassionate- not just with me me, not with your family, the boys, your friends- but with complete strangers as well…that’s what makes you a man in my eyes. So, trust me, Matty, I don’t say this lightly, but you have absolutely no boundaries. You’re a pushover!”

Matty was quiet for a moment, taking in the gravity of her words. “Okay, I can see why you’d think that.” he opened his eyes, looking up her through his hair. “But could I just explain my side of things?”

“There is no ‘your side’! You are mentally and physically exhausted. Matty- you were literally shaking. And, this wasn’t a professional event! This wasn’t a signing or a meet-and-greet!”

“That’s exactly why l-“

“My point is, it wasn’t safe! What if someone’d gotten hurt? What if you’d gotten hurt? There was no security to control the situation. Nobody to help or be held accountable! There’s a reason everyone else was sitting in this car, and not out there with you.”

“I get it.” Matty conceded.

“We were all bending over backwards to make sure you’re okay, then you go and willingly put yourself in a stressful situation that would trigger you. I mean,” she shook her head, speechless. 

“I just- I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s just not talk about it anymore. Alright?”

Matty’s arms squeezed around her waist as he nuzzled his face deeper into her chest, kissing her skin in a silent apology.

The car fell into another silent lull, until, several minutes later, George peaked his head from the passengers seat and told her and Matty not to check Twitter. 

“Oh, god. What’d you have to say that for? You know Matty’s gonna wanna see it now!” Adam groaned, chastising George. 

“What?” George shrugged. “I said ‘whatever you do, don’t check Twitter,’ I didn’t say to hurry up and check it.”

“I’ve literally been biting my tongue this whole ride.”

Matty, who’d been  half asleep in her arms, pulled out his phone, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light of the screen. 

Just as he’d suspected, photos of him being dragged away from adoring fans were already circulating the internet. All captioned with dramatic out of context narratives. 

“Matty Healy and gf argue in the middle of airport parking lot”

“1975 front man  physically dragged away from fans by possessive gf.”

Comments embellished the description using every colorful name in the book. From “jealous” and “immature” to “frigid witch.”

Matty set his phone down, neither one of them said anything. They spent the remainder of their ride to the hotel in silence. 

***

“How’re you feeling?” She emerged out of the bathroom, walking over to Matty’s slumped over figure on the bed. 

“I’m sleepy, and hungry, and tired, and I smell like airplane.” He mumbled. “I’m also sad.”

“Why’re you sad?” She bent down to kiss his nose. 

“Cuz you’re mad at me. You don’t seem to understand- the fans…they’re like the most important thing. Unless I’m physically tied down, I will always go out there and meet them. Never gonna be dismissive. Never gonna make them feel like they don’t matter to me.” Matty sat up in bed, taking her hands in his, and pulling her closer to him. “You can’t put out the kind of music that I put out, and then pretend not to want anything to do with the people who listen to it.” She nodded, attempting to signal that she was on his side. “There are ways of saying ‘sorry, not today guys.’ Without being dismissive or rude.”

“I hope you know, that’s never gonna be me. I’d never say that to them. It’s just not who I am.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to suddenly change. I just hope you don’t expect me to either. Cuz I’m still gonna worry about you and try to protect you when you’re in over your head.”

Matty smiled at her with droopy eyes. “Deal.” He kissed her lips. 

“Sorry they’re saying mean shit online.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve wanted to be a witch since I was a little girl!” She giggled. “Now, c’mon. I ran us a bath.”

“Wait…us? Like you AND me?”

***

“You had a really rough day today, huh?” She whispered as she snuggled into him, getting comfortable in their hotel bed. 

Matty turned on his side to face her, the smell of her freshly washed hair calming his mind. “Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Could we just…stay here, in this bed, for ever. Just you and me. Where it’s safe, soft, quiet.”

“Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, let’s do that.”

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

20k tweets

ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

[tesstr84]

Godeffingdamnit. I told myself to never get invested in ANOTHER BOF remake but I have failed for many reasons. Why? Because this version is hands down going to be the best version. The chemistry between the leads is amazeballs. The character development, facing problematic issues head on. Bright’s pretty face. Tu’s even prettier face and now I am hooked. Blah.

Now the point of this post. Since there’s like 2 fanfics about thyme and gorya, I took it on myself to write one. Ugh. It’s not great but since we are all foaming at the mouth for romantic scenes between them and 5 seconds of happiness before they get whacked with the next problems, I wanted to share this for those who might enjoy it. It sucks. It’s not great. I may delete. Enjoy for those who might find it enjoyable. There may be transition flaws, typos, uneven spacing because I don’t know how to use Tumblr.

Taken place after the stadium, before Gorya comes home in the morning and meets evil mom. Written from Thyme’s perspective, ish.

“Seriously, Thyme? I literally was just about to go to sleep. After everything tonight, you and Gorya want to kick me out of my penthouse so you two can love up? I am TIRED.” With this last request, I definitely may have just gotten on Ren’s last nerve today. It’s okay, he will forgive me tomorrow, I thought.

“Ren, please. My mom is back from Singapore and at my house. I cannot risk her finding me sneaking Gorya in. Just for one night, we will both be gone by morning. Please.” I practically beg him. I am exhausted and so is Gorya and while I was considering the finest hotels, it didn’t feel right. I wanted to take her somewhere safe, somewhere familiar.

“Fine. You both owe me. I will go stay at Kavin’s or MJ’s. Don’t do anything weird in my place, please. Oh wait, I forgot someone just had his first kiss recently and ran away.” He laughed on the other line. And on that somewhat embarrassing note, I hung up. I turn to Gorya who has fallen asleep and quickly move the strands of hair on her face.

Ren got up from his bed, sighed, and reached for his phone and texted Kavin to pick him up. “Why? I am tired! Let me sleep.”

“Thyme and Gorya need a place to stay. His mom is back.”

“Sighs. Be there in 20.” Kavin texted back, equally exasperated.

Ren smiled to himself. As emotional and physical tonight was, he could not imagine this lifetime without his friends, including Gorya who has become such an important part of the group. With a yawn, he put on a shirt and some pants and headed downstairs to wait for Kavin.

Thirty minutes later, I punched in the code to Ren’s penthouse. I desperately need a shower after rolling around in all that dirty water at the stadium. “Do you guys all have access to each other’s places?” Gorya asked. “Yeah pretty much.”

“Here are the towels and this is the guest bathroom. Some of Mira’s clothes are here so if you want to wear some of her clothes to sleep in while we put our clothes in the washer and dryer, you can.” I said. Gorya nodded and smiled. God, she is beautiful. What did I ever do to have her in this life, here in this moment. When she saw me looked at her so intently, she looked away and ran into the guest bathroom.

I myself get into Ren’s marble shower, the finest of Italian marble. I turn the shower handle to almost scorching hot. I need this shower to wash away today. “The point is Gorya loves you very much.” These words reverberated through me. She. Loves. Me. Happiness, excitement, joy, pure bliss rushed through me. But accompanying all these wonderful emotions is a sense of worry. My mom now knows who she is and I am fully aware of how ruthless she is. I sighed as the water continues to wash away every remnant of the past few days. My brain makes an active note to table this frightening thought of my mother away for another day. I stepped out the shower, dried myself, and put on some of Ren’s finest silk PJs. I am going to have to get him new custom made ones.

In the living room, Gorya is lying on the sofa perusing her phone. She was laughing and smiling. “Who are you talking to?” I asked. “Who else? Kaning.” She said in a sassy tone.

“What are u saying to her so happily? Talking about how much you loooooveeeeee your boyfriend?” I teased. She immediately gets up, grabs a pillow and throws it at me. I walk over and pick her up over my shoulder. “Alright that’s enough. It’s 2am, let’s go to sleep.”

“Put me down right now, Thyme!!” She screeches at me as she laughs and playfully hits me. I take her to the guest room, turn on the nightlight, move the blanket and put her down. I lifted her feet off the bed and tuck her under the blanket. I sat down next to her and got close to her face… “Gorya.” She looks at me curiously. With a heavy sigh and heart, I go into my overdue apology. “I am sorry for my behavior in the classroom. I should have never raised my hand at you. That was wrong of me and I promise you for as long as I am alive, that will never ever happen again.”

I hate myself, I hated the way I treated her. The way I showed the absolute worst side of me. Tears fell down my face to reflect the shame I felt. She got up from the bed, held my face with her tiny hands and lifted my face to match hers. She wiped my tears away and in the most angelic of voices said, “I understand and I forgive you.” And she placed the gentlest kiss on my lips and continued, “Be kind to yourself, Thyme. You will get there. I am always here for you and I am proud that you are on this journey.” In that moment, I just wanted to grab her and kiss her until we are both breathless. I want her in that way so very badly but neither of us are ready for that, not anytime soon. As I tuck her back into bed, she grabbed my hand as I was about to turn off the nightlight and whispered “Stay. But promise me you’ll keep your hands to yourself. OR ELSE.” She threatened menacingly. I laughed and said “Ok, whatever you want, girlfriend.”

“You know what? Leave. Go sleep alone in Ren’s room. Never mind!” She starts to take up the side I was about to occupy but I moved her and got in. I laid my arm out and situated her head on my arm and held her close. “I love you so much.” She responded with an “mmmm.” “You don’t have to say it to me until you’re ready. Besides, I know you love me too. I mean you have to. After all the stuff I pulled and you’re still here.” I said.

“Whatever, Thyme”, and she gingerly places her tiny arm around me and we fall into a deep sleep. For this night, it is just us. A boy on the road to becoming a better man, to become deserving of this gift that has been sent to him. To be in love, at peace. To be happy. With her in my arms, I am sure that this is it. I will never ever want another and I will make sure she is loved and protected for the rest of this lifetime.

[redhairedfeistynerd]

Slush and a Side of Toys

Part 1

A/N: I'm months behind on everything but here is my piece for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork  and @sagechanoafterdark  Winter/Holiday Festival Challenge. I chose #38 donating toys to children.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, angst, frustrated reader, swearing, alcohol

Words: 5800+

Part 2 will be up soon!!

Please like, comment and reblog. I appreciate it and thanks for reading.

All mistakes are my own

A reminder - my work is not to be reposted anywhere.

There’s a muffled humming coming from somewhere under a pile of paperwork and takeout containers on your floor. The sound is constant, piercing, and irritating. Eyes still closed, head pounding from an evening of too much wine and schmoozing, you reached down towards the sounds and ran your hands over the stack, following the vibrations of your phone. Once found, you yanked it away from it charging cord and used every ounce of energy you had, pulling the phone close to your face. Opening one eye a sliver to hide from the light, you read from the bright screen.

Hey, listen, I know we've had our differences the last few years but I think it's time we put all of it behind us. I saw Rosie the other day and asked her how you were doing but she kept it pretty vague. I hope to hear from you soon, even if it's only a text to say you’re doing okay.

Reading over the message a second time, in utter shock that he had the audacity to message you and pissed that he even dare ask your friend about how you were; you decided to turn off your phone and toss it into a pile of clothing on the floor.  

What. A. Dick.

Rolling back over into your cozy blanket cocoon, falling back asleep, temporarily pushing away any thoughts of the man from your past.

The message was all but forgotten until later that day when a familiar song came on the radio and you couldn’t help but think about how you had both downed several beers at a pub and sang it at the top of your lungs. Maybe it had been a dream earlier and the text never happened. Pulling your phone from your back pocket, hoping it was all your imagination, you indeed saw that there was a text.

The ever-so-hard to escape blue eyed man, was trying to weasel his way back into your life and you weren't having any of it. Dropping the phone into the bag sitting at your feet, getting up from the desk, shaking out a bit to ease the tension that one tiny text had accumulated.  

"Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him," you repeated the words over and over, hoping to push all thoughts aside. In stocking feet, walking around the small hole you called your office and continued to shake it out. The calm didn’t last as long as you hoped, anger slowly creeping up and out.  

"Stupid frikkin guy!! UGH!" The sound of your disgruntled cry, shook you a bit, the frustration clearly coming out louder than expected. "All right, settle yourself down, you can't let him have this sort of pull over you," hoping the self-talk would work, you ran your hand through your hair and walked back to the desk. "Delete it, pretend that you never looked at it and it will go away."  

There was no way the struggle going on inside your head would even fathom deleting the text. Truth be told, as much as you cursed and hated the thought of him trying to slide back into your life, there wasn’t a month that went by without a thought of him crossing your mind. A song playing, a Romcom from the 90s, the pizza you both loved so much. Why couldn’t you escape him?

You shot off a quick text to Rosie, curiosity was killing you now, itching inside you, desperate to find out how the hell you had come up in conversation.

Y/N -Word on the street is that you ran into a clown I once knew; I’m curious what was said.”

Rosie: Oh no, he didn’t.

Y/N: He did and it was pathetic

Rosie: It was a super quick interaction. Both of us waiting for a coffee and being friendly. He asked about you almost right off the bat though. It almost rendered me speechless after what happened.  

Y/N - So, that’s it? What did you say? Did you tell him how fantastic my life is going and that I probably wouldn’t even remember him?

Rosie: you and I both know, that that’s a load of shit. I’ve had wine nights with you, that man-child has never left that brain of yours.  

Y/N Shut up.

Rosie: Really though, it was super quick. I said you were doing charity work and were still in the city, happy and healthy.  

Y/N- good to know. I’ll just sit here and pretend his message never happened then. Carry on as usual.  

Rosie: see you later this week?

Y/N Definitely, bye babe.

Placing your phone down on your desk, you continued opening your mail: thank you cards for volunteering, appreciation notes from parents and kids, and requests for you to help out at other groups around town. The next month would be hectic, with collecting the many donations from around the city. You had to finish training several new volunteers that would assist with wrapping, delivering, and presenting gifts to the charities and individual families that you helped support during the Winter months.  

It became a mechanical process, opening envelope after envelope, that you weren’t paying attention to the return addresses. It wasn’t until you read the first few lines that the letterhead caught your eye and did it burn.  

Blue-eyed monster strikes again via his mother.

You knew it wasn’t the case though, his mom, was offering a bursary to some of the kids you helped out and she was reaching out to you and other groups in the city to help.  

It didn’t take much to pull your mind from work once you had read the Evans name on the letter. Bits and pieces shifted in your mind; you couldn’t fight it any more today. The letter slipped to the floor and you sat back against your desk, the memories that you had been pushing away, were flooding back.

It all started innocently about three years ago, bumping into one another around town, having several acquaintances that knew each other, and a tendency to make the other smile when the lamest dad jokes were thrown around. His face was incredibly animated and you loved the way his eyebrows would jump up while he spoke, there was mischief behind them that you wanted to discover. Even a quick peek, would ease the curiosity.

You recognized that laugh from across the room of the gallery – full of heart and genuine. Turning around, you spotted Chris mingling with other attendees of the charity event. You were here to help raise money for low-income families in the community that could not afford music lessons or music therapy for their children. The profits from the art sold this evening, would help buy instruments for the school that was set to open the following month. You knew Chris had donated and you had volunteered to help teach the parents with baby's groups every second weekend. It was the least you could do, you had a bit of extra time and needed to give back to the community that helped you and your family out during your childhood.

“How did I know you would be here?”  

You must have zoned out thinking about that boisterous laugh that you didn’t see Chris walking over to you. You smiled as he leaned in wrapping one arm around you, a beer being held in his other hand. His smell was intoxicating – a mixture of orange and the woodiness of sandalwood. Would it be wrong if you pulled him closer to take a quick whiff before he pulled away?  

He took his time moving back from you, winking as his arm shifted back to his side and lifting the beer to his mouth with the other, take a long sip.

“So, you out here to buy some art?” he asked, taking another drink.

“No, not buying tonight. One of the pieces is mine, I donated it to help out.”

“You have something up for sale here?” He questioned, taking a quick spin around to quickly look at all the art hanging around the gallery. “Which one is yours?”

“Oh, I am NOT telling you that. I think I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which one is mine. You can play the role of Sherlock Holmes.”

“Now, that’s just cruel.”

“Cruel? Nah. Mysterious? Yes. Are you up for a little game of 5 questions to help you out? If you can guess which one is mine, then I guess you have bragging rights because I haven’t discussed my art with anyone here. If you don’t figure it out, then I suppose it will be a mystery forever.”

“Oh, I KNOW I’ll be able to figure this out!” Chris says loudly, clapping his hands together and popping each shoulder up and down. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

“Here’s the deal, you ask me whatever you need to to figure out which one is mine. Obviously, you can’t ask which one is mine as one of your questions. Ready?”

“Ready!” Chris said enthusiastically. He took your hand and brought you to the front of the room to observe the first of the paintings. “Let’s take a quick gander and then I’ll start. How does that sound to you?”

“Whatever you need to do, Evans.”

Chris pulled you from canvas to canvas, still holding your hand as he inspected each piece. “First question. “Did you only use paint for the one you donated?”

“NOPE, next question, Evans!”

“Okay, okay, I got this,” he bounced around on the spot and turned his head to quickly glance over the works close to him. “Shit, I guess I should have asked if what you donated was a painting, right?”

You walk a circle around Chris “Is that your question?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

His blue eyes flick quickly to yours before he says, “Ya, actually...ya. That’s what I want to know. Did you submit a painting?”

“Yes, one of my paintings is hanging somewhere in one of these giant rooms.”  

“You really don’t think that I’m capable of figuring this out, do you? Ye of little Faith,” he smirked and pulled you to the back of the dark room. “Any reason why it’s so dark back here?”

“Maybe that’s what the artist wanted?”

“Here’s question three then,” he said as he pulled you closer to him, your eyes looking into his as he asked. “Is you painting in the dark room?”

“Is that really what you want to ask me?”

Chuckling, you take hold of his hand and lead him to another section of the gallery. “I don’t want you to miss any pieces, so take a look around here before you ask number three.” He squeezed your hand and looked up, the ceiling adorned with a beautiful piece; birds in flight but as they reached the furthest wall, the began to decay, until only single feathers remained.    

“Here’s number three, ready?” He looked to his left where you were nodding your head back. “Did you mainly use your hands for this piece? I mean, instead of brushes or other tools.”  

You were silent for a moment before answering, did you want to tell him how much of yourself you had put into this piece? That what the brushes couldn’t do, you did with your hands and arms? “I did. This one needed more than brushes.”

Chris smiled at you, “feel like telling me what else you used?”

“Not a chance,” you said, grabbing a glass of white wine from the tray passing by. “You want a glass?”  

Chris held up his bottle, its content revealing that it was still half full. “I think I have a pretty good idea which one is yours, so these last two questions are going to be good.” With two large gulps, he finished up the rest of his beer. “So, what happens when I guess, do I get some sort of prize? Maybe you could paint me or something?”

“If you mean, could I dump a bucket of paint over your cocky head, then, sure!”

Chris burst out laughing, pulling you into him for a squeeze.  “I love how you make me laugh and I bet you would actually do that to me. But really, if I do guess, what happens?”

You kept your body close to his, his arm still holding you close as you responded, “what do you think would be suitable prize, Chris? Do you want me to paint something, make you a prince? Maybe something of you and Dodger? Or maybe I could paint your like one of my French girls.”

“I would love one of your pieces, but if I win this, I’d like to take you out. Is that okay with you?”

Your grip tightened around the wine glass, trying not to let it slip to the floor. It was a shock, to hear that this man, one that you had flirted with for months, was asking if you wanted to go out with him.  

“Y/N?”

“Sorry, I... I didn’t expect you to ask me that,” you answered, fidgeting with your hands out of awkwardness.

“It’s ok, you can say no! It’s all right to tell me no.”

“No. No. I’d love that. If you can guess which one is mine, I will gladly go out with you. Dinner, drinks, walk – whatever you like.”

Chris placed his empty beer on the table closest to you. “Ready for my last two questions?”

“As ready as one can be.”

“Is your piece hung on the wall as a landscape?”

“Look at you Evans, you got another one.”

Chris rubbed his hands together, his smile wide and full, clearly showing that he was on a winning streak. “Here’s number four and then I’ll go right to the painting I think, the painting I know it is. Chris walked back and forth in front of you before turning to face you with his last question. You had grabbed another glass of wine and took a sip, waiting for his winning question. “Does your piece use more than black and white? – so many of these photos, sculptures, paintings are very monotone.”

“You’re good Evans and yes, I filled my picture with the rainbow. So, take my hand and show me what the answer to this mystery is.”

His warm hand took your free one and he walked you to one of the side rooms – this room was full of colourful pieces. You could feel the heat flushing across your cheeks and a thin layer of sweat formed at your hairline. Chris stopped and turned towards the back wall and pointed to one of the paintings. “I’m pretty sure this one is yours,” he said with a half-smile. “Am I right?”

You had wished, during those few minutes he had suggested that he take you out, that he would guess which one is yours. But what were the chances with over 40 pieces around you? You tried to keep your body from slouching before you softly answered “No. That’s not mine.”

The happiness in his eyes left quickly once you responded.

“Are you going to tell me which one is yours though?” He asked you eagerly.

“No, I think I’m going to keep that secret to myself. Thanks for the fun, Evans, I should get home. Another day of charity work for me tomorrow.”

“Wait, Y/N, I’d still like to take you out though, will you let me do that, please?”

“I guess we’ll have to see what the future brings,” you replied, giving him a little wink and a squeeze to his hand, you took one last sip of your wine before heading to the coat check.

Chris watched you as you wrapped a scarf around your neck and slipped your arms into the long, wool coat.  Walking back over to him and wrapping your arms around him, it was a quick hug and he barely had an arm around you before you were stepping back. With a smile on your face, you turned and stepped out into the night. Chris watched as you turned right and glanced his way, your hand lifting up and into a quick wave. He couldn’t stop smiling and knew he had to see you again.

It didn’t take long for that to happen. You couldn’t get him out of your thoughts and dreams after the encounter at the gallery. He really was something; funny, compassionate, a hard worker, and you couldn’t deny that he was incredibly good looking.

After an event in town and a few drinks later, it was easy as pie, asking him over for dinner. He had initially thought you were pulling his leg.  

Chris couldn’t stop laughing. "Oh ya, sure you want me to come over for dinner," laughing at your request and taking a sip of his IPA.

The pink that had flushed across your cheeks when you had shyly asked him was disappearing like an ice cube in hot soup. He picked up on the change immediately and apologized profusely. "I didn't think you were serious! You are serious, right?”

"Why wouldn't I be? It's just dinner," you shrugged. “I don’t see why you would have such a dramatic response to a simple question.” There was an awkwardness now and maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to come over. “Sorry, I thought since we kind of hand a friendship blooming and I tend to invite friends over...”

He took hold of your arm and pulled you into his chest, a big smile across his face. “I'll come by; don’t you worry. Which day this week works for you? I'll be out of state after this week for a bit, so hopefully something the next few days will work for you,” he said, squeezing you a bit before he released his hold on you.  

Trying not to be awkward, you responded "This week will definitely work, tomorrow or the next day are open for me."

"Let’s go for tomorrow, okay?  Would you like me to bring anything?” Chris smiled  

“Be sure to bring the dog, he's the one I'm really inviting.”

"Well, fat chance of me coming by now, I see where your allegiances lie, " he said half closing his eyes and glaring at you in a teasing manner.

"Ok then, just drop the dog off, I'm sure he'll enjoy the feast."

Chris couldn't help laugh at the way you were carrying on with this charade. The half-smile that was currently on your face was one full of mischief and it was something that he had come to enjoy the last few times he had run into you around town. He could see a sparkle in your eyes, something that he didn’t notice before today and it was something, that he could get used to.  

“A thought crossed my mind... what exactly would have happened if I had guessed right?”

“Since that didn’t happen, I guess you’ll never know,” you said with a shrug and nudged him with your shoulder.

“You sure like to tease me.”

“What exactly am I teasing you over?”

“The opportunity to be in your presence again,” he replied, a slight blush crossing his cheeks.

Finishing up your drink, you placed the glass back on the cardboard coaster and turned to face him.  

**

“What the hell is THIS?” he asked grabbing at the green monster type thing that was hanging from a lamp in your living room

"That, is a flying frog - one of those weird ass dad gifts - he's always finding these peculiar creatures for me and I can't seem to part with them.

"It's sure ugly"

"You're ugly!” You shouted back at him and burst into the most beautiful smile he had seen cross your face.

"What are you, 12?

"Sometimes,” you replied.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh at you and pull you into a quick side hug. "You're a funny one" he feels you squeeze him back softly, a smile crossing his face at the quick interaction.

"I better go take a peek in the oven and make sure everything is baking the way it should. Make yourself cozy, I'll be right back."  You looked back to him, pointing at the couches before turning and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. Turning you head back, forgetting to offer him a drink but his long strides had brought him right behind you quickly, almost colliding with your body. He tripped up a bit and moved his hand to your hip to catch himself.

"I want to see what you're up to in here, see what the chef is cooking up.” Chris resting his chin on your shoulder to peek at what you were stirring on the stove.

“You couldn’t sit still and wait for me to come back, did you miss me that much,” you teased.

“I couldn’t stand to be apart from you for a second longer.”

“That is the cheesiest lines, Evans. Does shit like that work for you?”

“What matters is, if it’s working on you. So, is it?”

You hummed, refusing to answer the question and carried on taking care of the food in the oven. Satisfied with how everything looked, you turned the timer back on and offered Chris a drink. Agreeing on wine, you pulled a bottle from the rack, passed the stemless glasses to Chris, grabbed his hand, and lead him back into the other room. Sitting on the larger of your two couches, Chris took a place beside you, taking the bottle from your hand, opening the bottle, and pouring you a generous glass before pouring his own.  

“To friendship,” he said raising his glass

“To friendship, good food, and drinks,” you added and brought your glass to his, a quick clink, and sips were taken.  

Dinner was ready within the hour and you both continued to chat while enjoying your meal.  

“That was one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time, thank you”, complimented Chris as he wiped his mouth with the napkin when he had finished his last bite.  

The compliment brought the feeling of heat to your face and out of awkwardness you almost knocked your glass over as you reached for the wine.

“Want a refill?” You asked, holding up the second bottle of red that night. “You have good taste in wine, Mr. Evans, this wine is top notch,” you said, looking over the label of the wine he had brought with him.

Chris smirked and slid the glass to his left “I’m glad you think so, I’ll definitely have another. This should probably be the last one though, I feel like I’m overstaying my welcome.” He watched as you poured, your hair falling forward as the wine glass filled. “Cheers, thank you for the invite and many thanks for a delicious meal. You are constantly surprising me with your talents.”

“You aren’t overstaying. I’m enjoying your company and don’t want you to leave yet. Here, let me show you what I’m working on for this year’s event,” you said and pulled your phone out of your dress pocket and slid your finger across the screen. Shifting your body across the cushions toward Chris, you held the phone out towards him.  

“What is it you are putting on this year?”

“Another charity event, it’s to help out the single parents that live in the community. I try to donate as much time to charities as possible.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“I want everyone to have a special holiday season, you do it. I see that you donate time and money to charities.”

“I have the means to help and giving back is extremely important to me.” Chris looked through a few more of the photos before placing the phone down next to him on the couch.  

Reaching over to take her phone, Chris put his hand over yours and slid closer. “I know you always think I’m joking around with you when I say how much I love seeing you smile but I’m being 100% honest. Your smile is contagious and I feel like it lights up anywhere we are. It’s a beautiful smile and its part of why I’m so attracted to you.”  

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Oh shush, you!”  you said pushing your hand into his chest, your smile wider than he had seen before.  Again, he put his hand over yours and pulled you to him gently with his other hand.  He brought you close, enough to hold you against him for a hug. He watched as your eyes tried to find a joke hidden in his face but you quickly realized that there was something else there. You weren’t sure who moved first as your lips met quickly enough that your teeth clacked together and you swore in pain.  

“Oh fuck, only I would ruin an almost perfect moment. I’m such an-

He pulled you to his lips again, kissing you softly and trying not to laugh at the look on your face.

“Am I a joke to you, Evans?” you asked, kissing him back on the lips.

“Oh, not at all, I didn’t want to have to explain to people we know how I broke your teeth though. I mean, I could make up some ridiculous story about it, could be fun,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help but throw your head back and laugh, bringing yourself back up to face Chris and pull him by his shirt towards you and kissing him without any stupid errors. You could taste the wine on him, the sweetness adding to the softness of your kiss. He took the lead, pulling you closer and slipping his tongue delicately across your bottom lip before deepening the kiss.  

Your eyes opened when you hear Chris let out a soft moan, not expecting to hear such a sound from him before you could emit one. He did it again and you felt it all the way down your spine and into your soul. Your hands, still in idiot mode, found their way to his hair, and were quickly taking apart his well-coiffed hair by running your hands through it.

“How does your hair smell so damn incredible?

“How do you taste so fucking delicious?

You pulled back, staring him in the eyes “Hmm, maybe you need to taste a bit more, clean that palate of yours,” you teased.

“Are you implying...”

“Not implying, the buffet is open, sir. Dig in.”

Chris’s face went a light shade of red.

“Oh, did I catch you off guard, Casanova?”

“I mean, no... no...’ he stumbled, “OK, fine yes, yes you did.”

“Well, now that you know, let’s get back to business. All right?”

You took control, standing up, taking his hand roughly and leading him to your bedroom.  

“I want you to take off my clothing, piece by piece. I want to see it on the floor and,” you said placing her finger on his lips, “no more talking,” you ordered.

“Anything you want,” he whispered into your ear and he ran his tongue down your neck so softly, that goosebumps raised over yours arms. His hands wandered from your shoulders and down your arms, taking hold of your hands and moving them to his belt buckle.  

Looking up to him, he nodded, silently urging you. Undoing the belt and still staring into his eyes. Moving to unzip his jeans and push the button away, Chris was unzipping the back of your dress, the cool line of metal touching your back as he drew the zipper down the length of your back.  

“You have goosebumps, do I need to warm you up?

“I’m hoping you get to that. Now, what did I say about talking?”

He smirked, pushing the dress down each shoulder until it dropped to the floor. Stepping out of it, you kicked it off with one foot, tossing it towards the wall. Chris’s hands were already roaming, his hands on your hips, fingers sliding into the thin elastic of your panties. His hands slipped across your warm flesh and directly to your cheeks, grabbing each one and squeezing, and pulling you closer to him. His lips were pressed into yours, his tongue back to searching for yours as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you to your bed. Gently, he sat you on the edge and leaned into you bringing you down to the mattress.  

His kisses ran down your sternum and across the soft skin of your breasts while his hands ran across the tops, gently running his fingers over your nipples.  

“Keep doing that, keep... keep touching my breasts, Chris.”

You could feel him pressing into you, his erection, warm and pushing against your core.

His hands squeezed your left breast while he brought his mouth down to your right, taking the nipple into his mouth, gently sucking it. Running his tongue around the bud, a chill running across your arms and a moan escaping your lips.

“I need to be in you now, please, y/n,” he said, kissing up your chest.

“In the drawer, condoms are there and hurry the hell up, Evans, I’ve waited forever for it to rain and fill up the well.”

He chuckled as he crawled over you, limbs knocking yours, a soft hand slapped across his ass, as you watched him open the nightstand drawer, which got stuck in his effort to hurry. “Come on Evans, you got this,”

“A little self-talk over there to get you motivated?”  

Chris smiled as he held up the package and smiled at you before sitting on the edge of the bed to roll the condom down his hard length. He was on you again, returning quickly, his lips pressing against yours. His lips, wet and warm, pushed harder against your mouth as he pushed your legs further apart, taking himself in his hand, rubbing across your wetness and pushing halfway. The groan that escaped his mouth while his tongue continued to touch yours, sent a tingling sensation down your body.  

“Chris, please...” you started to plead and before you could continue, he finished pressing himself into you with a grunt.

“Come on baby, show me how well you can move,” he said as he licked a strip across your neck.  

Wrapping your arms around his neck and shifting your body against his, you let out a wail. Your bodies moved together, the pace quick, the sounds of your wetness echoing throughout your room.  

“Listen to the sounds we’re making, baby,” Chris panted and drove deeper into you. His body was incredibly warm against yours, the sweat making his chest glisten in what light crept in from the hallway.  

Chris slipped his hand down and his fingers met your warmth, crawling in to press against your clit. You clenched around him; a low moan escaped his mouth as he continued his movements.

“A bit more, a bit more,” you groaned, your back arching as Chris sped up. You looked up at him and reached your hand up to his face, holding on and staring into his blue eyes as you felt the tingling ball up within.  

Faster than expected and with one last swipe of his fingers, your orgasm spread out from within. Your shoulders tingled, spreading down to your fingers as you yelped out, the warmth of pleasure flowing down and across your body. Chris had shifted to move into you, helping your orgasm along as his own shuddering began. His lips were pressed into your neck, your name crossing his lips as he slowed his pace, and leaned onto one of his arms. He continued kissing up your neck and met your lips, heavy breaths escaping from both of your mouths.

“You’re incredible Y/N. Incredible.” One more kiss was pressed to your lips before Chris sat up, heading to the bathroom. You watched the light turn on and the door close behind him. You rolled to your side; a smile of satisfaction crossed your face as you closed your eyes.

Your heart jumped when you were woken by blankets being pulled half off of your naked body. It took you a few seconds to realize that a man, a very handsome man, was sleepy peacefully beside you. Turning to face his back and shimmying closer, you pulled the blanket to cover your shoulders and back. His muscular back stared at you and you couldn’t help but raise your hand to the pale skin, bringing your fingertip to his warm skin and drawing lines to connect each freckle.  

“You, know, that feels incredible, please don’t stop,” Chris asked, his words muffled into the pillows.

You continued using his back as your canvas; swans, sunrises, all the beautiful pieces of the world this man helped you see.  

Pushing back into you Chris spoke, “I’m going to be away next week, so I’m hoping I can see you again before I head out of town?”  

Your fingers drew the word yes on his shoulder in response. Chris turned over to face you, pulling you closer to him for a soft kiss. When he pulled back you couldn’t help but smile and pulled him in for something a bit more passionate.

*

Bags packed and his dog set to stay with his family, he walked by the room Scott was in. “Hey, I’m heading out, the car is almost here. Give me a hug for the road.” His younger brother stood up and embraced him, giving him a few pats on the back and wishing him well for his short trip. “Will I see you when I get back or you heading back home?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be around still. Mom wants me to stay in town a bit longer. You okay if I’m still free loading off of you a bit longer than planned?”

“You know you’re more than welcome to stay,” he said as his phone chimed from his pocket. “Cars here. Take care of the fam and Dodger for me.” His brother gave him a smile and Chris grabbed his coat and carry-on from the table before heading to the front of the house. Dammit, he had forgotten to remind Scott again about what they had discussed earlier that day. “Scott, make sure you get that message to Y/N, okay? This schedule change was pretty last minute.” He shut the door before he heard a response from his brother. The driver held the door open for him and collected his bags to place in the trunk. He couldn’t get you out of his mind on the way to the airport; your smile, the scent of your hair, the warmth of your naked skin pressed against his. He couldn’t wait to be next to you again.

[yunhostinyuyu]

come closer

pairing: frat boy!yunho x fem reader

genre: colleague au/frat au, suggestive

wc: 1.5k

synopsis: another friday night, another boring party you find yourself at. Only for a certain person to turn up next to you to turn everything upside down...

warnings: alcohol, weed, smoking, mentions of other drugs, teasing, yeah that’s it

—

„This party sucks. Mingi really hasn’t learned a thing about how this is supposed to work...“ you mutter to yourself, wandering through the hallways of the giant frat house, intertwining almost like a maze. It’s questionable why you even attended tonight’s party in the first place, but there were two good reasons to always show up at Song Mingi’s gatherings: alcohol and drugs. Despite the latter being hard to come by, since the most frat boys keep the good stuff to themselves.

The small group of friends you came with already got lost in the crowd or are crazy drunk, which leaves you alone, trying to waste time until it’s late enough to fashionably excuse yourself to go back to the dorms.

You busied yourself with observing the other people: drinking, smoking, blowing, talking, screaming, making out, groping each other - it looked like a mess you didn’t want yourself getting involved with, even if you were desperately hoping to find something to smoke, so your attendance wasn’t completely useless. It has already been too long since the last time you had some and you truly needed to take some pressure off - with all the final exams already lining up and stressing you out of your mind.

As it became a little too crowded at around 1:00 am you decided to go out onto the balcony, finally breathing fresh air into your lungs. Not the smell of sweat, weed and rum stuck in your nose anymore. Looking down at the neighboring houses and more-or-less silent area as you leaned your elbows on the railing and dangling your almost empty cup above nothing. Enjoying the silence and view of the moonlight illuminating the garden below.

“I thought nobody would be here at this hour... guess I was wrong.” you turned your head around as the unknown voice spoke from far behind you. A tall, handsome boy leaning against the glass door, his messy hair and droopy eyes indicating he just got out of a rather intense crowd. He reached to push his hair aside, but not helping at fixing the disheveled look, only adding to it.

“Intense party, huh?” You joked, already turning your back towards the tall stranger. Taking a few steps, he mirrors your posture and turns to look at your face.

“I have never seen you around here, are you new?” he asked curiously. You were quick to shake your head and chuckle: “No, actually, I come here quite often. But I mostly stay quiet and go home early so... are you new?” You throw the question back, turning your head to the right, now scanning over his facial features as well as you could in the darkness, only scource of light coming from inside the house.

“New to Mingi’s parties yeah. We were friends before college but his parties are still shit. I’m Yunho, by the way” he swiftly introduced himself with a sly nod. “Y/N.” you replied sweetly and he smiled to himself.

You watched him with big eyes as he took out a little plastic bag, filled to the brim with flakes of weed. “Figured this would be the ideal place to smoke one of these.” he explained, not taking his eyes of the little piece of paper and the green stuff he is presicely sprinkling onto it. You just stand there, watching silently. Secretly hoping he would offer you a hit or two once he was finished, but instead brought the stick to his own lips, licking it slowly and closing it before lightning it. Taking long, deep drags as he puffed the smoke out through his nose.

Damn, you thought to yourself, he sure looks good while smoking like that. But you had to act quickly if you actually wanted to have a change with getting something between your lips and into your lungs sooner rather than later.

“Can I have a drag?” looking at him with puppy like eyes, as he slightly tiled his head to meet your eyes. Blinking a few times before he decided.

“Sure, enjoy yourself.” he said as he held his hand with the joint towards you, but pulling it back again as your hand darted out to snatch it from him. Eyeing the tall one, your gaze clearly confused.

A coy smirk appearing on his round lips before speaking up again: “Come closer, I won’t bite... unless that’s what you’re into.” Ignoring his flirty comment but following his request. Now you’re standing closer to Yunho, shoulders almost touching as you finally got hold of what you desired the most. Slotting the joint I between your lips and taking a long drag. “Ugh, this is so good, it’s been so long since the last time I had some...” you explain as you handed the stick back to him.

“At least Mingi knows what good weed is.” he laughs, bringing the stick back to his own lips. You want to get the stick back for a second hit, but he doesn’t let you have it as easy as before, and you feel yourself slowly getting impatient, pouting slightly.

Yunho shifted his form to face you, yourself following along as he took a small step even closer towards you. Looking up to him, joint still in his mouth. His fingers dance up across the skin of your arm, looking out for any sign of discomfort at his action, but there are none.

His hand moving upwards until he reached your face, his thumb grazing your bottom lip gently, and his other fingers rest against your chin. The stares are growing more and more intense, eyes glued onto each other. His pupils darting down, inspecting your lips, softly pushing them apart. He takes the joint away from his lips, leaning in to blow the faint smoke into your mouth. Your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the moment for as long as it lasts, the tension rising with every passing minute. The palms of your hands are growing sweaty from his presence and aura alone, and his ministrations only added to that.

You catch yourself quickly before slipping into indecent thoughts, and this time you’re actually quick enough to grab the joint from him. Repeating the action to him, opening his mouth eagerly when he realized what you were doing. Your hand resting on his shoulder and his hands still on your chin, the other one finding it’s place on your left hip.

“This shit is so hot.” He comments, you slowly reach your hand with the toxic stick towards his face and putting it inbetween his teeth and lips.

“Do it again” you almost plea, tone quiet, only for him to hear your words. Without wasting another second, he takes another drag, taking his hand away from your chin to hold the joint. Grip on your hip growing tighter as he pulls you even closer than before. Bracing yourself at the sudden movement, your hands dart to his chest to keep yourself steady. He leans down towards your face, lips ghosting over yours as he blows the smoke into your wet cavern, breathing in slowly.

Yunho wants to kiss you so badly, the vision of you infront of him, smoke slowly descending out of your mouth not helping much with calming that urge, but making it worse for him to hold back. The only thing you can hear is the faint noises from inside and heavy breathing from the both of you. Your eyes are blown out at this point, waiting on him to make the next move.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, voice deep and raspy from smoking. Swiftly moving your hands from his chest, around his torso and up his back, pushing yourself even closer against the soft material of his hoodie and his strong body. Looking up to find his eyes again, pupils big and dark.

As you nod your head, his lips smash onto yours without hesitation, enjoying the taste of you to the fullest. You hum into the kiss as it grew sloppier and needier, continuing the movements until you ran out of air. Pulling apart for a second, before returning to each other. Yunho’s giant hand grabbing your ass harshly as he wets your lips with his tounge before he slips it into your entrance. The older one being in charge of the kiss, submitting to him completely the moment his wet muscle started moving in sync with your own. It all happens so fast, and you’re truly amazed how quickly he had warped you around his finger, pushing the blame onto the weed that is clouding your head.

Being occupied by each other’s mouths and exploring hands, while occasionally taking turns with the magic stick that was still intbewteen his pointer and middle finger, you don’t realise how much time passes. Then, a loud bang accrued out of the blue, followed by the sound of glass shards clatter. Pulling away from each other, eyebrows furrowed in worry and confusion of what the hell just happened.

“Alright everyone, party’s over.”

—

an: sorry I had to delete the read more bc tumblr kept on duplicating and deleting sections :( hope everyone still enjoys <3

[wanderinginksplot]

Since you say that prompt requests are open until the post is deleted and I’m a SIMP for Hardcase & Tech (and you’ve already written an A++++ soft!Tech fic I truly stan) might I request 4, C, & O? (if I remember correctly that’s Hardcase, quiet time, and first kiss BUT I’M NOT SURE)

ANYWAY. I love me soft and sweet and tummy butterflies 🦋 and just being in awe of the other. THAT’S GOOD STUFF.

I’m really sorry this took forever! I had to have a bit of angst in it, so it may not be quite as soft as you were hoping, but it was a blast to write! Thank you so much for requesting it. Enjoy!

Prompt: Hardcase, Quiet Time, + First Kiss

You were in the zone. Well, sort of. You would have been in the zone if yet another clatter hadn't pulled your attention away from the forms you absolutely had to get done tonight. 

"Sorry," Hardcase apologized. 

You gave a polite smile. He had been hanging around more and more often lately and, while you enjoyed his company, he was definitely clumsy. You had meant to hide anything of sentimental value so that it wouldn’t be broken accidentally, but you had forgotten to actually do it. Still, you made another mental note to put away anything delicate after he had left your office.

To his credit, he always apologized, even if there was no permanent damage done.

"What was it this time?" you asked curiously. 

"Uhhh, looks like... a little display of Coruscant."

You paused your typing, mid-word. "Did it break?"

"Nope!" he answered cheerfully. “It hit the floor, but I don’t see any dents or scuffs. I’m still sorry, though.”

"That's okay, Hardcase," you assured. "I know it was an accident."

He beamed at you, the tattoos by his eyes emphasizing the crinkles that formed with the expression. You couldn't help but smile back before returning your attention to the form in front of you. 

Less than five minutes later, a loud thump made you jolt slightly in your seat.

"Sorry!"

“What was that?” your voice was more tired than you meant it to be. 

“A holoprojector,” he admitted. “I think it might have broken since I caught it with my foot. Well, I mighta kicked it a little bit. But not on purpose! I was just trying to see the image a little closer."

You immediately knew the holoprojector he was talking about. It displayed an image of you and your best friend, taken just before you left Coruscant for your first mission with the GAR. Thinking about that day made your stomach tighten a bit with sadness and remembered nerves. You had been expecting a job planetside, helping out without going too far from home. But the GAR had needed you as an inventory specialist attached to the 501st, so your life had moved onto a ship. The only things you had left were memories and the few trinkets you had managed to sneak aboard the Resolute.

And now the holoprojector was broken.

“Did you lose a bet?” you asked snappishly, then immediately regretted it. Your next statement was accompanied by a forced smile in an effort to soften the harshness of your question. “You hate standing still, but you’ve been spending a lot of time with me lately. It won’t hurt my feelings if you would rather go to the gym, or hang out with one of your friends.”

“You are one of my friends,” Hardcase protested weakly.

“And I appreciate that, but we both know I’m boring.” Before he could argue against that statement, you pointedly added, “I don’t need an escort.”

“You don’t need-? Of course you- you don’t really want me hanging around. I know I’m loud and I break stuff.” Hardcase’s normally booming voice came out small, confused, and hurt.

You were swept away on an immediate tide of guilt and regret. You had been frustrated by your work and upset about losing a memento of time spent back home. All of that had bubbled up and made you lash out at Hardcase, a thoroughly undeserving target.

Visibly deflated, Hardcase said, “Thanks for letting me stick around for a while, anyway.”

Your heart lurched at the dejected way he walked to the door. Hardcase didn’t merely walk anywhere - he bounded, he strutted, he jogged. 

“Hardcase!” you called after him, and he paused just before he pressed the button that would let him out of your office, half-turning to listen while you spoke. “Hold on a minute, would you? I know I came off a little rude and I’m sorry, but I really want to know: if you hate the quiet so much, why do you want to be around me? I’m always quiet.”

“I know, and it’s great,” Hardcase explained, avoiding your eyes. “I don’t hate the quiet, I’m just bad at it. Wherever I go, I make noise. It was nice to be around someone like you. It’s… calm. I feel like I can relax around you.”

As surprised as you were, you couldn’t muster a response to his admission, not fast enough to keep him from trying to leave again.

“I’m sorry I broke your holoprojector,” he apologized. “I was just trying to see your image a little bit closer. You looked great. You always do.”

With that, Hardcase pressed the button that opened your office door. 

“Wait! Hardcase, please,” you begged, but he was already out of the room. You stared at the closed door for a long moment. There was a strong chance that he would forget all about this spat within days, if not hours. You could continue as you had in the past, or… 

You tossed your datapad onto the desk and rushed to the door. You could just make out Hardcase’s back moving in the opposite direction. It took a bit of inelegant jogging to catch up to him, but you managed it. 

“I think it’s nice to be around someone who isn’t afraid to make noise,” you blurted.

Hardcase paused, studying you intently. You had caught him off guard - you would bet the entirety of your meager paycheck that he hadn’t expected you to follow him. Hardcase never would have thought he was worth following after an argument, and your heart ached with that realization.

He was still watching you, gaze dark, so you pressed on. “I’m so worried about bothering people, about making any more noise than necessary. I admire you a lot. You never worry about stuff like that, and I think it’s wonderful. I always enjoy spending time with you because you inspire me to push my boundaries.”

“Then you didn’t want me to leave?” he asked skeptically, crossing his arms and tilting a hip into a stance of pure attitude.

“No! I just-” you took a deep breath and looked at the floor, a nervous smile fighting to sprout on your face. “I’m always worried that I’m boring you.”

Hardcase’s strong hands found their way to your shoulders in the next moment. Your eyes darted to his, and you were knocked momentarily breathless at the shock and pure joy on his expressive face. You had made him look that way, and it warmed you even as the fluttering nerves started in your stomach. He was standing so close.

“You like me,” Hardcase told you confidently, and the quivering nerves grew more intense. He grinned. “That’s good, because I like you, too.”

For a moment, it almost felt like the Resolute had dipped dangerously through the emptiness of space, but nothing else seemed to have been affected.

“Well,” you slowly said, “if you really don’t mind pushing boundaries, do you… Do you mind if I kiss you?”

Hardcase blinked rapidly at you. “You w- you want to kiss me?”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to!” you hurried to tell him. “I just-”

That was as far as you got before he had planted his mouth on yours. He was so very warm and his lips were soft. His hand crept up to rest just under your jaw while yours traveled of their own will to clutch at the back of his neck.

“Ugh, finally,” a voice grumbled from behind you. You and Hardcase broke apart, and you took a step away from him for fear of getting him into trouble, but Hardcase laced his fingers through yours, apparently unconcerned with the opinions of Jesse and Kix as they passed.

“Leave him alone,” Kix ordered, shoving Jesse’s shoulder. “Maybe he’ll finally stop asking advice about the best way to ask someone out.”

“You might have a point there,” Jesse admitted before shifting his attention back to you and Hardcase. “Congrats, you two! I’m happy for you!”

Did they think you two were together? Stars, you hadn’t even gotten that far yet. What if Hardcase wasn’t interested? You hastened to explain, “We aren’t-”

“Thanks!” Hardcase grinned, using your linked hands to pull you closer so that he could wrap an arm around your shoulders. You found yourself squeezed against his chest as he continued the conversation with his brothers. It was embarrassing and loud and so utterly Hardcase. 

You settled against Hardcase’s torso as the troopers kept talking, feeling his voice and laughter rumbling even through the plastoid of his armor. Eventually, you were brave enough to join the conversation with Hardcase’s brothers. They teased you a bit, but seemed to accept your relationship as something natural, even inevitable. It warmed your heart, and you stole a few glances up at Hardcase’s handsome face. More than once, you caught him staring down at you in return, seeming just as awestruck as you were.

In short, it was perfect, and you had never been happier.

---

A/N - part of the Fluff Fics series found on my masterlist. Feel free to request your own from this prompt, or just send me a random request and I’ll do my best!

[heximagines]

I was wondering if I could request Severen X Fem!Reader? Severen is walking down the street and hears yelling. He comes across reader getting robbed in an alleyway and goes to help her. What he doesn’t realize is that she’s a vampire and she bites the offender and drains him of his blood before throwing his body to the ground and Severen is like “Woah that’s kinda hot” whether it ends in fluff or smut is up to you! I really love your work and thank you for taking the time to read this! If this makes you uncomfortable in anyway feel free to delete it :)

Whew! This one took me a hot minute. I’m sorry for the wait. I had a lil bout of writer’s block but I finally worked though it. I hope you like this! I really miss going to shows and stuff so I kind of threw some of that in here to help get myself going. The basement venue I mention in here actually existed in Austin in the 80s, so if anyone who reads this is into punk you should see if you can fin d out where I’m talking about. ;)

PART 2

Severen loved when their travels brought them to places like Austin. The crowded city streets surged with life and music seemed to pour out of every little crevice. He itched to dace around and cause some mayhem but he was hunting alone tonight, the others choosing to do their own thing, so he needed to exercise just a little more caution than usual. His eyes scanned endlessly searching for his next meal but everyone seemed to either be in a crowd or looked just plain unappetizing. He paused at the mouth of an alleyway to light a cigarette, back pressed against the brick wall of what appeared to be a bookstore. Just then his sharp ears picked up on a sound. It was almost drowned out by crashing drums that came from fuck knows where and the chatter of the streets but he was sure of it. Severen lowered his lighter and slid into the alleyway, the drumming grew louder but the rest of the city dimmed to background noise. He focused his sharp hearing just enough for him to make out what he was looking for. A feminine voice rose just barely above the din making him lean in. “You’re making a big mista-” “Shut the fuck up bitch! I told you to drop the bag.” Severen ducked beside a dumpster and peered farther down the alley. If it weren’t for that loud mouth and his uncanny hearing Severen would have passed right by but now you had his attention. He could see you just past the light, pressed against a wall by a large man with a gun. A frown tugged at his lips. He might not be the most gentlemanly guy around but Severen certainly wasn’t about to stand by while a pretty girl got robbed. Besides he couldn’t turn down such an easy meal. He watched as you unslung your bag and tossed it carelessly into the ground with a bored expression. “It sure is a shame, handsome guy like you robbing a pretty lady like me? I could’ve taken you out to dinner. I’m starving ya know.” You tilted your head to the side and now a little smirk quirked your lip. “I said shut up!” But despite the man’s words Severen watched his eyes traveled from where his gun was pressed at your navel up your stomach, over the swell of your breasts, and finally to your full lips. He let the barrel follow his gaze upwards, pressing it to your throat and making you tilt your chin upwards. Severen could feel himself salivating at the sight of your exposed throat. Finally he stood upright ready to intervene, he’d done enough watching, he wanted action. But before he could do anything your eyes fluttered over his direction. He waited for your scream for help but it didn’t come. You only grinned and winked at him. “I like to eat alone anyway. I’m kind of a glutton.” Severen had a feeling you weren’t talking to the man in front of you. Finally you grabbed your would be attacker’s wrist in a bone crushing grip and twisted hard. A loud wet snap sounded down the alleyway followed by an agonized scream, a scream that was muffled by the loud music that filled the small space. The robber dropped his gun and you yanked him down, breaking eye contact with Severen to bite into your meal. You wrapped the man in your arms and held him close as his movements slowed then stopped completely. Severen watched you drain every last drop of life from him before dropping the now useless copse to the ground. You took a beep breath a licked your stained lips with a little laugh.

“God damn...” Severen couldn’t keep the words tucked in his mouth, he was utterly fascinated. He rarely got to meet other vampires outside of his little family but when he did it sparked his curiosity. But before he could say a word you were scooping up your bag and wiping the gore from your face with the sleeve of your jacket. He watched as your form retreated farther down the pathway. You stopped at a door and pulled it open, the loud music he’d been hearing was now amplified and pouring out of what he realized was the basement of the bookstore. You look back at him and raise an eyebrow as if asking if he was coming. That was all he needed, he hurried after you and slipped into the doorway beside you. “Y/n.” You held a hand out for him to shake. With a crooked grin Severen held your hand gently in his own and brought it up to his lips for a kiss. “Severen.” You roll your eyes but laugh despite yourself. Locking your fingers with his you pull Severen deeper into the basement. He found himself surrounded by punks with foot long mohawks and metalheads with hair down to their asses. At the front of the basement a band was ripping through a fast paced song with deep vocals. You pulled Severen through the sweat slicked crowd and to the front where you began to dance around recklessly. He let a loud laugh rip though him as you locked arms with a girl who’s head was shaved down to the scalp and danced around in circles slamming into the people around you. When you released the girl you’d been dancing with she spun off into the crowd and you surged forward to grab Severen by the lapel of his leather. You effortlessly pulled him him into the fray of the pit. That was all the coaxing he needed before scooping you up into his arms, whooping and hollering. You held onto his neck with one arm and let your feet kick out at the crowd around you as he danced around, your other arm reached up to touch the ceiling of the basement, making sure you didn’t hit your head. You and Severen danced like that though the whole set before the music finally came to a a screeching end. You laughed and grabbed your new friend by the arm, pulling him off to the corner of the room.

You placed your hands on his chest and pressed gently, encouraging him to lean on a support beam. “I haven’t seen you around. I’m guessing you’re not from here.” You pulled away to dig though your bag but your eyes stayed locked to his, looking up through your lashes. Severen rubbed the back of his neck, feeling almost insecure under your gaze. “I travel a lot. Only come though here a few nights every couple a years or so.” You hummed as you pulled out a flask. You popped it open and pressed it to Severen’s lips. “Go on drink up.” He took it from you and tilted the contents into his mouth. When he realized what it was Severen snorted a short laugh and sputtered on the mixture of blood and whiskey you’d handed him, making you giggle. He was pretty cute. “Traveling makes sense. Makes it harder to get caught huh? That’s why I stay in the city. There’s a lot of people sometimes they end up missing or just get found dead.” You shrug. “You mean like the guy you just left out there?” He jabbed his thumb in the direction of the door. You give another short shrug. “Eh, punks don’t call cops. And besides when everyone leaves they go around the other side of the alley. The owners don’t want anyone to see a bunch of people sneaking out of the basement. No one will notice him in the dark and I can get rid of him later.” He chewed on that thought. He supposed it was reasonable enough and it seemed like you knew what you were doing. Severen wanted to ask you more but your attention was pulled away by the call of your name. You turned your head to see the bald girl you’d been dancing with earlier waving you over. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Severen never really considered that the entertainment value of humans could extend past terrorizing them, but you didn’t just prey on humans you coexisted. Some were friends. Some were food. He wasn’t sure how you decided which was which but didn’t really get the chance to ask before the next band started and you demanded he dance with you some more and drink more from your flask. He supposed all of his questions could wait. Right now he just wanted to have fun with you while he could. So he fell into the ebb of the show. Dancing and screaming along to the music, to short quiet moments with you, to meeting your friends and carrying on a normal conversation as best he could, back to dancing and screaming. His attempts at socialization started off awkward at first. Severen wasn’t used to talking to humans as people. But after watching how you interacted with everyone he eventually fell into that too. Finally the show came to an end and the number of people dwindled. You bid your friends goodnight and told them to get home safe before leading Severen back out of the hot basement. As you said everyone who was still lingering stayed within the yellow circle of light that illuminated the doorway or trickled farther down the alley to the road behind the bookshop. You and Severen hung back until finally it was quiet and everyone was gone. “Just a sec, let me take care of this.” You moved to grab your earlier meal by the arms and drag him over to a dumpster. Severen hurried ahead to flipped the lid of the dumpster up before helping you lift him up and throwing him in the trash. “Ugh thanks, I hate that part.” “Yeah, usually we just burn all ours.” You bite your lip and look down at your feet. “We huh?” Severen straightened up, he’d been much more invested in trying to get to know you he realized you really didn’t know anything about him at all. “My family. I travel with my family.” Your lips turned down in a thoughtful frown. The one who’d turned you wasn’t what you’d call family. But something like that must be nice. People to look out for you, who really understood you. “And I suppose you probably have to get back to them huh? You said you only stay a few nights right?” You didn’t want him to leave now. You didn’t want to be alone. “Well I can’t go nowhere if it’s gonna make you frown.” His calloused hand came up to cup your cheek, thumb running along your soft skin. “Besides I just got here a few hours ago. They won’t leave without me unless I stay gone for a few days.” Your eyes find their way back up to Severen’s and a little smile spreads across your face. You lean up on your toes and wrap your arms around his neck. “Well in that case, you wanna come back to my place?” His hands drop down to your lower back pulling you flush against his body. “You just lead the way, sweet pea.”  

[twsted-tales-of-scheherazade]

Hmm, new blog. 👀 I would like to request a fluff scenario of Sebek, Idia, and Azul with a fem!reader who is color blind. Colors can be hard sometimes.

Sebek first finds out about your condition one day when you point out how Malleus' flames didn't appear green in your eyes. They just looked brown. Naturally, the fae was shocked and asked if you were joking. You shook your head 'no' and explained how some humans like you suffer from color blindness. A specific color that he sees may not appear the same as what you see. 

It wasn't just Malleus' flames. Diasomnia's signature green was not present in your vision. The bright color looked brown in your eyes and you told your boyfriend as such. His shocked expression turned aghast. As expected of Sebek, he started going on about how it was unacceptable that you were not able to see his lord's brilliance. 

You were used to his tangents by now and he would most likely continue for quite a while. So you got comfy in your seat and watched in mild exasperation as the fae continued speaking.

The tea he brewed is, as always, very delicious.

"Lord Lilia...I would like you a question."

The ancient fae hummed and turned his curious gaze to the first year once he put down his bagpipe (up to this day, Sebek did not know where he got that instrument from). "What is it?"

"Is there perhaps a spell that can show someone dreams? Is it possible to meet in a dream?"

Lilia raised his eyebrows at the strange question. "Certainly. But what would you do with such a spell?"

The first year cleared his throat before he started explaining. "You see, [Name] has..." His senior stayed silent and listened attentively as he explained his plans. Once he was done, Lilia smiled. "My, my. Such a sweet gift...very well. I' shall help you."

"T-Thank you very much, Lord Lilia! I apologize for my lack of skill! I vow to make this up to you."

"Nonsense. Young love is a wonderful thing, Sebek. Just tell me how that little one reacts afterward."

The next day, you had spent a few hours after school with your boyfriend in the library, studying for the upcoming exams. Ever the gentleman, he escorted you to your dorm afterward. You gave him a kiss and bid goodnight. However, before you shut the door, you heard him say "You will have good dreams tonight. I guarantee it."

It honestly made you confused. That was a rather strange way to say good night to someone. Though you didn't think much of it and got ready for bed.

...

You open your eyes to the sight of a starry sky. You blinked before shooting up, looking around your unfamiliar surroundings. The sight of the glowing flowers surrounding you took your breath away.

"W-Wh-"

"I see the spell worked. As expected of Lord Lilia and the young maste."

You turned towards the source of the voice, eyes widening once you saw Sebek. "Y-You're hair...your clothes?! They're..." You spluttered.

He sent a smug smile your way. "How do you like it, [Name]? Surely, you see the brilliant green of Diasomnia now."

Your mind couldn't process what was happening all at once. You looked at your boyfriend then out into the clearing of flowers beneath the starry sky. It seemed to stretch on endlessly.

"Is this a dream?"

"It is. Yet, it isn't." He murmured, taking a seat beside you. "This is a world created by a powerful spell of the ancient faes. Lord Lilia had helped me with it along with the young master. To be honest, I was rather ashamed that he had to assist me too...however...he wished for you to see the world in all of its beauty. Are you happy with this, [Name]? 

"...Y-Yes! A hundred times, yes! I love this! I love this so much! I love you, Sebek! Thank you!" You cried before tackling him in a hug. His strong arms caught you easily. He could hear your delighted laughter right next to his ear, causing a small blush to rise to his cheeks.

"...You haven't seen anything yet." With a snap of his fingers, small green lights started rising out of the field of flowers. You gasped as hundreds of fireflies flew through the air.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let us explore this place. We have a few hours left before you wake up."

"Yeah!" 

Sebek watched from behind as you frolicked in the endless garden, pointing out new colors you have never seen before.

Illuminated by the green fireflies, you looked even more breath-taking in his eyes.

Idia knew that you were colorblind before your relationship with him started. It honestly amazed him how your condition altered the world you saw around you. He's looked up information about color blindness on the internet several times, and with each article he read, the fact that he would never understand the world you see became even more clear. 

Sometimes, he would even ask you what it was like. What colors do you see? How did your condition affect your life? Once, he showed you different pictures and with every answer, he finds himself looking at them intently, marveling about how you were seeing something different. Of course, once he catches your amused stare, he turns into an embarrassing mess and ends up curling into a ball while hiding his blushing face from view.

He never stopped thinking about you though. You said that you were used to the world you're seeing. You've been dealing with color blindness for years...but was there a way to improve your vision?

Apparently, there was. They were in the form of enchroma glasses. According to the website he found - he checked the sources and confirmed that the information there was legitimate, the glasses filter out specific color wavelengths and let people with color blindness see with normal vision. However, it was also mentioned that the effectiveness of it vary depending on the severity of color blindness. 

"...Filter...these glasses filter wavelengths...can I enhance that with magic?" He murmured to himself.

"Well now, Idia. This is a rather interesting project you've thought of." Azul stated as his sky blue eyes gazed at the enchroma glasses with interest. "Humans are rather interesting...so many aspects of them are new to us."

"...You'll help me, right? I already promised to give you that new board game you wanted." Idia said with a huff.

The octopus chuckled before pushing his glasses up. "Of course. It's a deal."

Both of them had a lot of experimenting to do.

...

A few weeks later, your boyfriend had asked you to visit his room since he had something to give you. Once you arrived, he urged you to sit on his bed as he rummaged through his work desk.

"Close your eyes first."

You raised your eyebrows but complied. A few moments later, you felt something being placed on your face...they felt like glasses? Why was he making you wear glasses?

"Alright. You can open them now." You felt a tingling sensation just as your eyelids lifted. What greeted you afterward was a completely different place. A gasp left your mouth as you looked around the room. 

'The colors...!'

They were more vibrant, more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. For the first time in your life, you were seeing the world that other people saw. What really took your breath away, however, was how Idia looked. Especially the glow of his hair that burned a bright blue. "Wow..." You murmured before reaching out and touching his locks.

"Wh-why are you touching my hair?" And then, the glowing blue turns into flaming red as your boyfriend stammers in embarrassment. "You're so weird..."

"Thank you, Idia. I...really wasn't expecting this."

"Y-Yeah...well...you always mention how it was a pain to deal with...the color blindness. I had Azul help me out...but it still took a long time to get the desired effect..."

"I see! I'll make sure to thank Azul too. These are amazing. And you know what I love the most about this?"

"...What?"

"I got to see you become even more beautiful in a different shade of blue." You chirped, pecking his rosy cheeks.

"Ugh...what the hell was that, so cringey..." He muttered as he pulled his hood up to hide his embarrassed face.

You laughed in response and as Idia stares at your delighted expression, he feels himself falling in love all over again.

“Angelfish? Is there something wrong?" Azul asked as he stared at your depressed state. You had curled up on the sofa with such a displeased frown that he can't help but worry. 

"...I wanna go into you octopus pot and stay there forever." You mumbled. The merman blinked in confusion before setting down his pen and taking a seat beside you. He patted your head, and in turn, you moved to lay your head on his lap. "Talk to me, angelfish. I'll listen to all your troubles."

"...I mixed up my clothes today."

"Pardon?"

You sighed before looking up at his eyes. "I got up late today so I had to rush. I wasn't paying attention so I wore different colored socks and shoes. My shirt was different too. It was super embarrassing..." Your frown got deeper and you hid your face with your hands, groaning. "I think someone took a video of me dashing through the school in those clothes...god. I must have looked like a moron."

Ah...so it was one of those "colorblind problems" you've told him about. It wasn't a condition that he encountered often and the most important fact he learned from his research on it was that it affects some aspects of your life. Being able to see colors are something that most creatures take for granted. But for people like you, he can at least understand that you're going to have a hard time.

"I see. Don't worry, I'll have Jade look into it. If such a video exists, then it will be deleted immediately."

"Thanks..." You mumbled, turning to the side and burying your face in his stomach. He gave you an exasperated smile, knowing that he won't be getting any more work done today.

"Shall we perhaps go to my room? It's more comfortable on the bed."

"Yeah..."

Now, you find yourself in his embrace, still upset about your mistake earlier in the day. "It's hard dealing with colors sometimes...and frustrating." 

"You can always .make a contract with me." He said with a chuckle. "I'm sure I can find a way to improve your vision."

"...Tempting. But, strangely enough, when I think about it...I don't want to. I've spent so many years with my color blindness, saw the world differently from most people...it would feel kind of wrong if I suddenly started seeing everything. Sorry...I complain a lot but I don't even want to make changes...I know it's confusing."

"That's alright. I am here to listen to other's woes after all."

"Like the sea witch, right?"

"Exactly."

You giggled before both of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. He pulled you close to his chest, letting you hear the sound of his beating heart.

"Hey, Azul...can you describe a color to me? What is that color to you? Anything will do..."

He hummed before kissing your forehead. "Alright. I can certainly try. Let me see..."

“...Blue is the color of the ocean. My home filled with mysteries that humans have yet to understand. It is also the sky we see on a sunny afternoon. Do you remember, angelfish? When Jade had dragged us to the mountains, we found a clearing and decided to lay down and rest. We looked up at the sky and stared at the clouds. 

And then, when the sun had set and night took over, it becomes a canvas, being filled with twinkling stars. You loved that sight too. Why we almost spent the night in the mountains because you wanted to look at those stars and engrave it into your memory.

It’s the sound of rain falling outside. The rainy weather keeps you from going outside, so you sit by the window, watching the sky's tears. Your thoughts drift and you enjoy the warmth of a blanket around your shoulders.

It is also the color of my eyes, is it not? You've told me over and over again how you loved my eyes, glittering behind my glasses. I admit that when you first said that, it had me quite flustered."

You laughed at his statement. Azul's flustered expression was a sight to see indeed.

“Blue is the frost we see when everything becomes a winter wonderland. As we spend winter together, we also await the welcoming of a new year where we'll make new memories.

...It will also mean the sadness we feel in our lives. But do not fret, because beyond that sadness will surely be something wonderful. It is a sign that you will grow as a person through the pain you've felt..."

The merman trailed off as he heard the sound of your steady breathing. It seems you fell asleep. He smiled at you fondly before closing his eyes as well. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

"There's no need to worry, angelfish. My eyes are yours. I will let you see the world through them for as long as you need me to."

Another story has been told. To tell you the truth, I did not know much about color blindness and I wasn’t sure if I portrayed it well in these scenarios, even if I did do a bit of reading around the subject. Regardless of its possible inaccuracies, I do hope you still enjoyed it, traveler.

References: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/513nkf/wp_explain_a_color_to_a_blind_person/

https://www.thecut.com/2018/02/my-life-as-a-woman-with-colorblindness.html

Credits for the images used on this post:

Border: https://pngtree.com/freepng/vector-title-frame_3573975.html

Lantern decorations: https://pngtree.com/freepng/ramadan-decorations-luminous-ramadan-lantern-moon-and-star_5356170.html

Divider: https://pngtree.com/freepng/european-border-curtain-pattern_4068944.html