#ugh the irony of their situation kills me

[ichxgo]

It’s true enough. There’s no one else to blame. He was just so fucking mad. And Shiro—Shiro took the brunt of it because he was the one standing in the way. The closest target. Not that it would’ve mattered if Shiro had backed him anyway—Ichigo isn’t even sure he could’ve realistically taken the blame for his dad even if Shiro had. 

His gaze drops to the glass. He shouldn’t keep drinking. He has shit to do later. Important shit. But Shiro doesn’t have those restrictions, so Ichigo pours the glass.

Then Shiro says he promised everything, and the words hit like a knife between his ribs, clean and deep and devastating. Want lances through him so fast it hurts—not for sex, not just for touch, but for everything he knows he’ll never get to have with Shiro. For the version of their life that could’ve existed if things had gone just a little differently. If he weren’t on borrowed fucking time. If he hadn’t been so fucking stupid. 

“I really did mean it.” The words slip out before he can stop them, because they’re all he has left. They’re the only thing he can think every time this comes up, and he knows they can't mean a goddamn thing to Shiro.

Of course Shiro assumes he’s here because he wants something. Everyone always does.

“I came to see you.” The words come quiet, careful, but they feel heavy with all the other words hiding under them. Shiro didn’t believe it the first time. Probably won’t now. The feeling is akin to knowing he’s drowning to death and pretending he’s not. He gives a half smile though. “It would be easier if I did want something. Then at least you’d know how to handle me.” How to handle the problem of him. 

He exhales slow, measured, trying to steady himself, to push it all down deep enough to get through this night without falling apart. “You’re right. We don’t have to talk about it.” His breath shakes as he pulls it in, steadier this time. Then he says, softer, “What if… what if you pretend to forgive me, and I pretend to forgive you. Just for a night. We don’t even have to talk at all.”

A party goer stumbles down the stairs past him. He's not sure he'll ever get used to people showing themselves around his space, but he learned a long time ago to keep anything important or private locked up during big parties like this. He doesn't give the man a second thought.

He's confident Ichigo knew where he was going, so despite the closed door, he lets himself into his room and isn't surprised to see Ichigo and that bottle. He pushes the door closed behind him, but then pauses when Ichigo asks that. He nods; of course he remembers.

Stepping closer, he grabs that glass from the dresser top and takes a drink. Ichigo next words sting like a razor blade, freezing the air is his lungs for a moment. If the public sex didn't sober him up, this conversation sure would have. He clears his throat a little. "Yeah, well. You did a good fuckin' job." At making him think they could have a future, and at breaking him. He takes the rest of his drink like it's one big shot glass and sets it back on the dresser. If Ichigo's going to reopen still sore wounds he can at least pour.

He huffs a sardonic scoff of a laugh because the alternative is much more embarrassing. "Instead you promised me everything. I don't even know if I believe you. You want something from me, but you don't want me. Why are we having this conversation? Why are you here?"

So much for the second round he thought they were about to have. This is dressing as fuck. He's tempted to turn around and go back to the party.

[iris-sistibly]

So we are officially half-way through this whole series, this isn't as intense as the previous episodes and I just generally enjoy seeing the Hong family having a taste of a simpler life.

📍Though I wanna slap Hae-in's mom so hard for still being such a bitch at the family who took them in when they have nowhere else to go, and the way that she resents Hae-in for having a REAL mother and daughter bond with Hyun-woo's mom instead of her? The audacity! Like she constantly treats Hae-in like crap, she didn't care when Hae-in fainted and worried more about her son being uncomfortable in their current situation, it's kinda confusing to me that she wonders why Hae-in never treated her the way she treats her MIL. But then again, she's a narcissist and a gaslighter, what am I expecting? The Baek family are much better people than me, because if I were them and someone disrespects MY family in my OWN home, I would have kicked her out this instant and let her sleep with the cows. Shout-out to Aunt Beom-ja for calling her out for the nth time.

Edit: I just remembered this now but I'm disappointed in Hae-in's dad. He cared so much about his daughter when they found out about the divorce, but couldn't even defend her when his wife was bad-mouthing her. I'm not expecting anything from mama's boy Soo-cheol, and I get that the irony of his character is him being the head of the family only by name but in reality, he doesn't have a spine, but he could have at least tried for Hae-in. Then again, the only people who defended Hae-in were Hyun-woo and Aunt Beom-ja. 🤷

📍Hae-in is basically the only person who can put Soo-cheol in his place, but she also has a soft spot for him. The way she almost patted her brother's back to comfort her and then stopped herself because she probably found it cheesy (I mean, they're asian siblings iykyk), but stays beside him without saying anything and just letting him cry was actually heartwarming.

📍Hae-in realizing that the mp3 player in Hyun-woo was actually hers and they've already met when they were teenagers 😭 how I wish Hae-in just told him straight that it was hers so poor Hyun-woo didn't have to make some random excuses so she wouldn't feel jealous or upset (he knows a jealous Hae-in is terrifying). Speaking of which, the text message scene was killing me, the way they messaged each other (even though they didn't actually send it) was so husband and wife coded y'all can't convince me that they're divorced. I wish they'd truly reconcile already and become lovey-dovey once more!

📍While it's pretty clear that they're still very much in-love with each other, part of me feels like Hae-in is pushing Hyun-woo away so she could free him from all of these burdens and when the inevitable happens, Hyun-woo could move on. While it's true that she's still hurting with everything that happened between them, I also sense some guilt in her, I mean she's not stupid, she knows what kind of crap he'd been through while living with her family. Meanwhile, Hyun-woo willingly stayed by her side, accompanying her in medical check-ups, helping her entire family to regain what had been stolen from them, protecting Hae-in without ever asking for anything in return (not even asking her to take him back) is just...ugh! It pains me, but their current situation will surely bring them closer to each other and I would love them to have that moment where they'd just talk about them.

📍I'm not surprised that Soo-cheol is not Geon-u's father, but aren't y'all curious to know who is? And I do have the feeling that Da-hye loves Soo-cheol for real, but she hasn't realized it yet. Still faithfully waiting for that day when she'll finally help the Hong family and get rid of that witch and her walking red flag of a son. Also, I feel like Grace would also testify once these scumbags go into trial, and I hope that happens soon.

📍Speaking of the devil's child, now that the show is slowly revealing the back story of Seul-hee and Eun-seong, basically they're saying that the latter is only acting under his mom's orders who by the way he resents so much but still works with her anyway? I thought he was cunning, turns out he's actually a stupid cunt. I mean, imagine going through all of this bullshit only for us to find out that his ultimate goal wasn't to take the entire Hong family's wealth like her greedy birth giver but to take Hae-in for himself as if she's some kind of a prize or trophy that he could get after ruining her and her entire family? If that's so, then he is really an idiot. If he thinks that Hae-in would desperately crawl to him because they're poor now then he can continue to dream. Hae-in would die without Hyun-woo but would rather die than be with Eun-seong. I do have the feeling that this bitch will use grandpa Hong to black mail/negotiate with the family and god forbid bring them back to the mansion (again, wtf), perhaps the only person who would be dumb enough to take the bait is probably Mama Hong because she's well...dumb too. And no, I don't care if he cares about Hae-in being sick, he's disgusting.

📍The thing that sets him and Hyun-woo apart is how they treat Hae-in, Eun-seong sees her as some kind of an object that he could snatch even if she's already married to someone else, he doesn't take no for an answer, has crossed her boundaries multiple times and only cares about getting her. While Hyun-woo treats Hae-in like an actual human being, yes he made mistakes and hurt Hae-in in the past but he sucked it all up and is constantly doing right by her. He respects her boundaries, never makes her feel uncomfortable, and cares about her well-being. Hyun-woo would be willing to let Hae-in go if it would make her happy, while Eun-seong would gladly make her miserable if it meant being with her. These two characters my friends, are love and selfishness defined.

📍Papa Baek and Papa Hong becoming drinking buddies will never not be cute.

[pocketramblr]

sitting here realizing how absolutely weird earth 1098 had to be for Black Zero, because even if he's sorta a multiversal tyrant there's also part of him deep down who's just another superboy, so like

He gets to a new earth that's having clear problems with anti-clone sentiments, not helped by gotham going full no mans land and fully banning any paranormal/metas/genetix, winning the ensuing civil war about how messed up segregation is. ("ugh a worse than average batman" says Black Zero, before realizing there's only Batgirl/Oracle here, and she did that on her own. "ugh, a significantly worse than average batgirl." he corrects, not seeing the irony of his own dictatorship)

he wonders if this civil war was only lost because it was after superman's death, and finds out he's half right- apparently there's never been a superman here because Lex Luthor killed Kal-El as an infant. ("wow, i'm going to kill him here for that." says Black Zero, who feels no clone-comraderie over a possible lex luthor jr situation here, and isn't even doing it because it means he doesn't exist here. he never got to meet Superman and he's kinda getting annoyed that hypertime never lets him land on an earth before he dies or after he comes back.)

he is then stopped in his "kill lex luthor" plans for five minutes because he saw that the president on this earth is elvis presley. ("wtf" says man who's seen dozens of worlds but nothing like this before.)

once he gets over his president elvis shock, he tracks down lex, who's apparently in this world's cadmus, and apparently owns it. He's peeved that paul westfield isn't where he should be, but sends some guardian clones to hunt him down and bring him back to set him up as ruler of this earth after lex is executed for killing baby superman and also, he assumes, firing westfield. ("lex luthor, your days are- what is that" says man who already knows he's looking at a cloning tube with a young Supergirl in it, and knows his world's history with lex and supergirl and clones, and is Not about to have this.)

he frees the young supergirl clone, takes over the planet, hands it off to a very confused westfield whos got no idea why this random new dictator sees him as a father, but is absolutely not going to question it, and when the supergirl clone wants to leave to join the justice society of heroes who are absolutely going to fight Black Zero over this world domination thing... he just lets her leave. no fuss at all. Happy that she gets to spend time with Supergirl like he never did Superman. Hoping, i suppose, that this time maybe she'll convince the heroes to not fight him, to surrender. after all, how bad could he be, if he saved her?

except like, clearly not hoping that hard, considering supergrrrl ends up in his clone bank too, so i guess she fought back in the end, at some point, in the twenty minutes of free time black zero had to grab her before he kept chasing kon into the pocket superboy universe???

maybe he just, landed there, saw supergrrrl in costume for the first time, and was like 'ah no she's dressed way more like the punk than she is me, yeah, not gonna give her time to rebel like him too' and just, nabbed her then and kept moving, carrying her in her clone bank tube while shaking his head, muttering "i mean, elvis, really???" to himself as he goes

[fluffypotatey]

leverage 2x03

WE GOING IN!!!!

Oooooh ok called “The Order 23 Job” 👀 so my guess is that it either has to do with hitmen or law related (OR MAYBE BOTH?????) 

Oh wait episode description say they take over a hospital floor????? What????? TO STAGE AN OUTBREAK?????? LEVERAGE??????

Y’all what am I about to get myself into holy fuck 

COURT ROOM

WE IN COURT AGAIN

wait a minute…..is it just me or does this defendant guy look familiar…..either he is the same dude from the Miracle Job or he’s just a new dude

NOOOOOO GOVERNMENT WHY

ugh gross 🤢 18 months????? fucking bs

Ok rip to me because I don’t remember the guy from the Miracle Job well but I think this guy is not him

Also, this Ronald man (paused it and the show his name on the cast list! thanks prime????) is either gonna kill the Eddie dude or be Leverage’s new client

He might assault him tho. That isn’t off the table. Assault and then he goes to jail LONGER than the white collar crime dude. Yes…..I can see that

OH HE HAS A GUN

NATE YOU FUCKING KING

AND HE STILL PUNCHED HIM!!!! I hope that felt good

Oh good just a warning

Guys am I getting a Hardinson episode??????

THEY ARE FUCKING FOCUSING ON HIM WHILE RONALD TALKS ABOUT HIS SISTER GUYS AM I WINNING?????? (I am so sorry Ronald your story is tragic and I am currently misty eyed BUT AM I WINNING YALL???)

Oooooooh did that cut close to you Nate???? An illness that could have been prevented and yet help was not afforded to you? 

How over his son’s death is Nate btw? Asking for a friend

Eliot and Hardinson shitting on rich people my beloved

Yes Nate :))))) he is a germaphobe :))) ABUSE IT

dam ok y’all just gonna talk about how you swindled some people in front of an officier (tho not like he can do much. you got your sentence and also government aid.) Jesus you must feel so invincible rn

I hate him. Eddie fucking sucks. 

“It’s about shifting fear” lmao i love irony 

Love you Bob

Man what did they drug him with?????

NATE YOU ARE NOT!!!! YOU ARE NOT PLAYING A DOCTOR (he is 🥰🥰🥰)

“Let’s go steal us a hospital” y’all i love this show

Awwwww Parker’s mini panic (same girlie. I would be asking the same questions in your situation)

Oooooooh they got ambience audio

THEY DID NOT ASK PARKER THAT LMAO

y’all Eliot and Hardinson fighting over clothes help 💀

Lmao the way they are playing up his paranoia 

YES PARKER PLEASE PLAY IT UP

HARDINSON AND ELIOT POLICE DUO????? Let’s fucking gooooooooo

Awwwww little baby boy 🥺 why he sick 🥺 awwwww it’s ok baby

Eliot stop staring at him that’s creepy

OH

oh ok understood

Eddie being all smarmy lmao you have no idea what you got into

SOPHIE!!!! 

I hate Eddie 

Awwwwww Nate giving Parker a 101 on how to manipulate people 🥺

That’s how zombie movies start

LMAOOOOO 

the plot thickens :)

Yes Eliot :3 play with their rational

“My wife just had a baby. 🥺” “His wife just had a baby 😔✊”

Hardinson repeating people’s words my beloved 

Sophie you play this so well 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Oh no Eddie 🫢 you are handcuffed 🫢

Hardinson be careful 

“Yippity skip!”

Eliot help the kid 🥺 

Nate do not rational that lmao

Sophie no 💀 what about your “boyfriend”

Eliot! You hide your ear piece! 

God I am stressed 😫 Eliot stop!!!! ELIOT

ELIOT MY KING BUT I AM STRESSED 

YES HE IS YOU BITCH

ok Eliot I was wrong. Kill that man

Awwww poor security man

“You have been exposed to an antigen that is repelled by water” STOP IT 😂😂😂😂 IM FUCKING WHEEEZING

Hardinson: doing his job

Eliot: not doing his job and instead put for blood

OH I FUCKING KNEW THAT MAN WAS SHIFTY!!!! CHARLIE!!!!! I KNEW IT

goddam why they always need to double check shit :( let the con men be free from double checking

Dammit Eliot, Hardinson is giving you some pretty good info AND YOU STASHED THAT EAR PIECE AWAY!!!! ELIOT PUT IT BACK ON

Of course it’s the fucking mob 🙄 should have known but seriously 18 months???? Why not 5 years :/

Oh of course, OF COURSE ELIOT GETS TO CHARLIE NOW!!!! Put that ear piece back or so help me!!!! SO HELP ME! SO HELP ME! SO HELP ME!

Is he gonna be chucked into a fucking morgue drawer 😔 Eliot run

OH NO

ELIOT RUNNNNNN

thank you Hardinson!!!!!! 

Y’all those are special equipment!!!!! The hospital needs those!!!! 

Ok Eliot now put the ear piece back on

Lmao Nate 😂😂😂😂 THE FUCKING SOVIETS??????? LMAO

Sorry I shouldn’t be laughing but it’s so fucking funny

IN THE DRAWER??????

Yes Parker!!!!! You are playing your role so well 💖💖💖💖

LMAO

Bob love you but please stop being good at your job

Awwww Eliot 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 

He said his real name 🤧🤧🤧

No I’m not crying leave me alone. I’m okAY

shut up

NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOO 🫠🫠🫠🫠 Randy baby boy 🤧

Alrighty. What now :/

It’s night?????? Already?????? When did that happen??????

IN THE COURT ROOM???????? EDDIE WHAT??????

LMAO 

Love you Parker

“Everyone of you is looking to 25 to life” oh baby, they have a way longer sentence if they ever get caught lmao

LMAOOOOO 

Eddie dude 😂 you are so bad at this

I love their gloating 🥰

“Kiss ass” 💀💀💀💀

Eliot stop giving Bob ideas

Eliot tell him about Randy 🥺

YEAHHHHHHHHH

YEAHHHHHHHHHJJJJHHH 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

A-okay broskis 

I’m sooooo good 🥲

Good episode 🫠 tbh the epidemic plot was funnier than I thought it would be but like on the flip side it would be so scary to have that be played on you. Real pandemic is enough for me. Y’all don’t need to con me that shit

The fucking side plot with Eliot and the kid 🥺 y’all I’m am sobbing 😭 just how Eliot clocked that so fast and how he tried to hard to help and finally gets Randy away and safe for good (well, maybe not for good bc foster system but he shows that kid that help CAN come and he’s not alone and 🥲) 

Also, this was not a Hardinson episode *kicks dirt* BUT I LOVED ALL OF HIS MOMENTS!!! I love him so much and I want a focused episode on him so badly is that so wrong?

But man. Imma cool down and breathe then go to the next episode 

[dalek-ix-writes-stuff]

Red Ruin - INTERVAL 02: FIRST ENCOUNTER (Part III)

“Well, did you ask her?” Yang found herself asking, desperately hoping she didn’t die from sheer irony.

Is it really irony? Dramatic Irony? Situational Irony?

…Don’t answer that Ruby.

“… Obviously not,” Weiss ground out, frustrated, “Ugh… Maybe a relative owned a Dust shop that was bought out by the SDC?” She frowned. “It’s… It wouldn’t be entirely out of the question, but it would be a little too convenient…”

Yang gave Weiss a Look.

“You’re going about it the wrong way,” she told Weiss, clasping her arms behind her head, “I mean, I get what you’re trying to do, but this isn’t something you can just solve on your own; it takes two.” A thought came to her. “And yeah, you could find out what the problem is on your own –hire some PI’s to go digging into Blake’s past, or do the work yourself. That sort of thing. But… well, I imagine she wouldn’t appreciate you going behind her back,” Yang warned her, “Doing that would definitely just make more problems in the long run.”

Weiss seemed unsure. “What if she doesn’t want to tell me?”

Yang shrugged. “Then that’s just a risk you’ll have to take,” she drawled, “And it’ll just mean you have to try again later.”

“Hmmm…”

Weiss… well, she didn’t look completely convinced, but Yang got the distinct impression that the heiress was thinking about what she’d told her.

“Fine, I’ll ask her,” she grumbled, “Later. Assuming we’re still alive.”

Yang allowed herself a pat on the back. Heiress successfully distracted and bull-headed move avoided; chalk up another win for Auntie Yang.

If she listened carefully, she could almost hear the faint sound of Ruby burying her face in her hands.

And now for Step Two-

There was a horrific cawing noise up ahead, followed by the tell-tale sounds of combat. Yang and Weiss paused for half a step, and then broke into a run, Blake not far behind. This time, thankfully, Ruby didn’t run ahead on her own.

----------

They deserve to die.

Yang had asked Ruby about that, long ago. Ruby had tried to explain it to her, but… well, she’d never been all that good at putting words to her thoughts, so to speak.

They ALL deserve to die.

Yang thought it was a reflex; the natural result of Ruby’s condition interacting with the Grimm, and Ruby was happy to let her sister believe that. After all, it was kinda true; the hateful, soulless creatures… well, they weren’t the sort of thing Ruby was happy to have within range of her condition if she could help it.

Kill them. Kill them all!

That being said, there were other things that could grind at Ruby in a similar way. Her condition opened her up to things most people wouldn’t even imagine; the disconnect that lies caused could be enough to drive her up the wall, some people were just loud in their minds, and others… Well, others should be thankful that Ruby knew that hurting people for what they thought of in the privacy of their minds was wrong.

(Really, they should be thanking Yang and Dad for teaching her that. Ruby had thought of telling her family this at some point, because she thought they deserved to know how amazing they were, but she hadn’t found a way to say “If not for you I’d have killed a lot of people by now” in a way that wasn’t horrible.)

But the Grimm… Ruby could stand to be in the same room as some truly terrible, awful people and hold back on the urge to cut them in half lengthwise, but the moment her mind caught a hint of Grimm, she just…

Ruby had to kill them. All of them. Everywhere. Something about the Grimm made the well inside her mind fill her with a murderous hatred. Something that made her feel like every moment not spent hunting them down to slaughter them all was a waste so great as to be agonizing.

For Ruby, the “why” was never in question. The Grimm deserve to die. They ALL deserve to die. She just… knew this, with a certainty that shocked everyone she told it to. And as especially horrible as the Grimm were to Look at and Feel, Ruby knew enough about her condition to know that it had nothing to do with this… inherent knowledge. It came from elsewhere, possibly someplace… closer? Deeper?

(In her fantasies, Ruby could sometimes –barely– imagine a world where she was normal. She couldn’t imagine a world where the thought of Grimm didn’t fill her with hate.)

Ruby looked down into the chasm. She was vaguely aware of the ruins there; a network of tall, stone towers linked together with bridges. The presence of Jaune, Pyrrha, Nora (loud loud loud loud) and Lie Ren was just barely on the edge of her consciousness.

The Giant Nevermore and Death Stalker the other four students-to-be were fighting were the focus of her attention.

They Deserve to Die.

They All Deserve to Die.

-warm crackling fire blazing bright-

Ruby was brought back by Yang putting a hand to her shoulder, her presence a blazing flame.

“You cool, Rubes?”

Ruby nodded, and leaned a little towards Yang. The inferno that was her sister should’ve turned Ruby to an ashen husk, but she found it comforting instead of terrifying; Yang had promised, after all, and even after all these years that promise still held.

“I’m good,” Ruby told her. She reached up, towards the hood of her cloak, and pulled it back, exposing shoulder-length red hair. “I’ll be better in a bit,” she added, unclipping Crescent Rose from the small of her back and making it unfurl; first into her rifle form, and then into her scythe form.

“Looks like they managed to ground it,” Blake said, crouched at the edge, “Might’ve worked out if the Death Stalker hadn’t joined in.”

Wess said nothing. Ruby felt her annoyance at the sight of Jaune, along with some bemusement at him leading the other three down below.

“Well, that’s good!”

Blake and Weiss looked at her.

“It means we get to kill it,” she chirped. “Let’s get down there; Blake and Weiss can help Nora and Lie with the Death Stalker.”

“How do you know their na-?”

“And Yang and me can help Jaune and Pyrrha with the Nevermore,” Ruby continued, “The Grimm have them surrounded, but if we split up, we can help surround them instead.”

Ruby smiled.

“Ready?”

[yandere-dandelion]

Can you do yandere izuku kiddnapping bully reader want , please ?

This one took a little longer than the others, sorry about that! I hope you enjoy!

Gender neutral reader, no smut

It figures fucking Deku would be the number one hero while you’re stuck as some two-bit villain.

Maybe it was karma, that Deku got to beat you up now instead of the other way around.

“The best way to get revenge against bullies is to let go of your anger and forgive them,” he had said in a famous interview. Oh, the irony.

The whole situation was absurd. It was like you two were still kids tussling on the playground after school. The most ridiculous aspect was that Deku didn’t know who he was fighting.

The two of you had been rivals for years, and he still had yet to unmask you. He had no idea you were his childhood bully!

Until now, that is.

He’d finally managed to wrestle the helm off your face, and now he was staring down at you in shock. “Y/N?”

Well, you’re fucked.

You didn’t expect for Izuku to laugh. “After all that time I spent looking for you… I can’t believe you were right in front of me all this time! I—“

Lacking patience, you interrupt him. “Ugh, you never could shut up, Deku. Just put me in jail and be done with it.”

“You’re not going to jail, silly!”

That catches your attention. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me. You’re not going to prison. I have something else in mind for you.”

Your heart skips a beat. Oh god, is he going to kill you?

Seeing the shift in your expression, Izuku backtracks. “Wait, no, that’s not what I meant! I’m not going to kill you! I did NOT mean for that to sound so ominous!”

At that, you relax— but only slightly. From the looks of it, he’s not going to let you go, either. What the hell is he planning?

“Aw, your confused expression is so cute! Let me explain.” His expression sobers and he takes a deep breath. For once, you shut your mouth and listen.

“When you disappeared, it was like you had taken a piece of my heart with you. I missed you so much! I spent so long searching and searching for you after you disappeared, but I couldn’t find a trace of you! I thought a villain had stolen you away from me. I guess I was right, in a way.

“You motivated me to become a hero, so I could save you! Or at least find your body.” The last part was murmured, but you caught it. “I didn’t think you ran off to become a villain.”

Seeing your flabbergasted expression, Izuku frowns. “Y/n, did you think no one looked for you after you left?”

“What? No, that’s not what I—“

“I am so, so sorry you felt that way. People were looking for you, though! Everyone missed you, hell, people still miss you! I still miss you!”

“Midoriya—“

“Izuku. Call me Izuku.”

“No, Midori—“ Izuku’s expression darkens, green lightning dancing across his skin, and you quickly backtrack. “Okay, fine. Izuku. I was a fucking asshole. I still am. Hell, I’ve killed, like, 69 people now! Why the fuck would you miss me? You should hate me. And you still haven’t explained what you plan to do with me!”

At that, Izuku looks heartbroken. “Oh, puppy… you have no idea how incredible you are.”

What the fuck?

The tight restraints turn into a warm hug. Izuku inhales deeply— did he just sniff you?— and when he exhales, his breath is shaky. “You smell just as sweet as I remember. But you’re so much thinner now… poor puppy. It must’ve been hard, living in hiding, huh? But it’s okay, now that I’m here. I’m gonna take good care of you. I’m gonna take you home.”

[volperion-moved]

From worst to best (or in your case, least awful), how would you rank all the sides of the Love Square?

i used to think ladrien was the least awful but kuro neko killed that for me... i really don't know how to rank them because to me it's like

adrienette is marinette's unhealthy obsession with adrien played for laughs, she isn't allowed to move on when she decides it's making her unhappy or wants to date someone else. she really barely talks to adrien (yes s4 did have them talking more but it's still mainly her flailing while he gives nothing) so i don't understand why she goes so gaga over him

ladynoir is adrien in love with this idea of a badass superheroine and genuinely getting violently upset when she doesn't conform to what he wants her to be. i understand that as someone who values his superhero identity as a way of escaping an abusive situation, he can't really empathise with ladybug, who does value her civilian identity - so when she doesn't show up for the date he'd planned for her because she was spending time with friends, he can't understand why she'd value her normal life w/ her friends over being a superhero and hanging out with her superhero friend. it would be an interesting conflict if adrien's feelings weren't prioritized and coddled because he sure doesn't give a shit about maribug's

marichat is. ugh. like i remember being interested in this side of the square it's got the dramatic irony aspect going on... but time and time again we are told/shown that chat noir/adrien is not attracted to marinette & ladybug/marinette is not attracted to chat noir. whenever there's the slightest hint to the contrary it is discredited fast.

aaand ladrien is adrien pretending to be something he's not to get ladybug's affection which lies & kuro neko showed us wouldn't make him happy and it's. idk distracting or whatever to ladybug.

you can put them in any order rlly theyre all bad equally imho

[ithebookhoarder]

Prequel Star Wars (Head-canons): Dealing with a sick reader

A/N: After the request for these head canons for the original trio I kind of got inspired for the other trios too... oops?

Masterlist: 

Anakin:

Ok. There’s only one word for Anakin when you’re sick: worrier.

Yep. This man is on red alert real quick the minute you mention even thinking you feel a bit under the weather. In fact, he’d have you back in your chambers and buried under a pile of blankets before you can even try to tell him it isn’t necessary.

“You can’t be too careful, and you do feel rather warm. You may have a fever-”

“Anakin! Say that once you’ve felt my forehead again, but with your non-robotic hand this time.”

“Oh.”

It’s rather sweet actually, watching the way Anakin scurries about getting anything and everything you could possibly need. 

It’s also ironic considering this is the man who always insists he is fine, even when he has blaster wounds all over him. He may have been adversed to letting people take care of him, but he’s only too eager to take care of you. 

After all, since his mother died, you are all he really has in the way of family. He’s not about to let something as simple as a cold kill you. 

So, you let him fuss, knowing it’s just as good for him as it is for you, to let him play nurse maid for a while. 

“Do you need more pillows? I also can get Obi-wan to get some more of that tea you like from the market too if you want.” 

“I’m fine, Ani.”

“Are you sure? You still look pale-“

“Just come cuddle with me, ok? Just a for a while?”

Needless to say, he’s only too happy to cradle you in his arms and let you drift off to sleep against him, softly humming under his breath as he brushes the hair off of you face. 

This is how it stays for the next few days or so, until you’re finally strong enough to get back up and move around the temple. 

Even then, Anakin is like a shadow, following you around incase you’re wrong and it turns out you’re not strong enough yet to be up and about. 

“Ani, honey, I’m fine. I promise. I’m not made of glass, you don’t have to always worry something’s going to break me.” 

He knows you’re right, even if he’s reluctant to admit it. So, he settles for a kiss and a compromise that you at least let Ahsoka keep an eye on you while you work. It has been nearly a week since either of you left your quarters and people were going to start getting suspicious soon if he didn’t let you be by yourself. 

However, he doesn’t need to worry. 

It’s only a day later he starts coughing and feeling sick himself. 

It’s hard not to laugh at the irony as you take his arm and start hauling him back to bed, ready to return the favour. What was one more week of seclusion, just the two of you? At least this time you’d get to play nurse maid. 

Obi-Wan: 

Unlike Anakin, Obi-wan is rather calm when it comes to handling any kind of problem. So, when he finds you slumped over, face down, in the text you’d been trying to read in the archives, he merely chuckles.

“Darling, wake up. You fell asleep again.”

“Obi?” You blink, groaning as you try to sit up without falling over from the sudden dizziness you feel rushing through you.  

Of course, one look at you is enough to tell him something is definitely wrong with you. 

“Oh dear, you look dreadful.”

“Wow. Such a charmer.”

“I try,” he teases, helping you up and wrapping an arm around you as he starts to escort you back to your rooms. You need some rest, clearly, if you’ve become rundown enough to catch some kind of bug. It’s probably the same one that’s been going around the younglings recently.

“Here we are. Let’s get you changed and settled in to bed, alright?”

His voice is so soft and soothing as he mothers you, seeing to your every need with barely a complaint. He has you out of your robes and into something comfy in the blink of an eye. He also makes you some tea and retrieves some medication from his bathroom cabinet, insisting you take some before sleeping. 

Obi-wan is also a patient man. Being Master to Anakin for the last ten years has ensured that, meaning he is more than prepared for your whining and moaning. 

He simply smiles, laughing at the rather adorable pout you wear whenever he tries to get you to take some more medication or agree to stay in bed for another day. 

“But I have a report due tomorrow for Master Fisto-“

“I’ve already explained the situation to him. He has someone else finishing it for him.”

“Well, I also have that class with the younglings-”

“Which Master Yoda has also agreed to cover, so you have nothing to worry about except recovering, alright?”

It is alright, despite you pretending otherwise. When else do you get to spend so much time along together? In fact, despite feeling like death warmed up, you rather like letting him take care of you and entertaining you with whatever book he’s been reading lately. 

He always looks happiest when he has you nestled under his arm, and a book in his free hand. Needless to say, he has no problems reading you off to sleep every night, watching as you drift off by the time he’s finished another chapter. 

“Sleep well, my love.” 

And you do. You sleep remarkably well with Obi-wan next to you which is why, even after you’re better, you’re quick to invite him to sleep in your bed as many nights as you can.  

You’re also eager to return the favour and read to him instead, as he eventually falls asleep to the sound of your voice night after night. 

Who knew the great General Kenobi was so adorable when asleep?  

Padme:

Now, Padme may be royalty, but she is a public servant first and foremost. Her entire life is dedicated to the service of others, so when she sees you struggling to keep yourself upright at your desk, she is all over you. 

“Y/N? What is it? Are you feeling alright?” 

“I’m fine, Padme. It’s just stress.”

“Sure you are. Why else have you been staring at that page for the last hour and a half?” 

She pauses, frowning at you and trying not to roll her eyes at your stoic nature. On one hand, it’s rather ironic for her to scold you when she herself has been known to burn the candle at both ends. However, there comes a point when it was impossible to ignore your body’s obviously worsening condition. 

So, she swiftly orders you to bed and instructs a physician to check nothing is terribly wrong with you - even if you insist it isn’t necessary. 

“Well, it is to me, alright?” 

And of course, how can you say no to that sweet face when she pouts and bats her eyelids? 

“Ugh! Fine!”

One annoyingly tedious check up later, you’ve been diagnosed with a mild stomach bug and told to rest for the remainder of the week. 

“Here. I have some juice for you. You need fluids if you’re going to recover quicker.” 

You smirk at the idea that a queen is serving you as she bursts into your room the following day, carrying a tray laden with fruit and a pitcher of your favourite juice. 

You’re quick to thank her, downing the glass within seconds, much to her amusement. 

“Thirsty are we?”

“And bored,” you whine, grinning as Padme passes you a data pad with a knowing wink. “You angel!”

“Hardly. You get one hour to work, ok? Then I’m taking it back and you’re having a nap? Understood?”

It seems like a fair enough compromise as you sit up and read the briefings she’s downloaded for you. In fact, by the time your hour is up, your eyes are drooping and you’re struggling to sit up by yourself. 

“No protests? I am surprised.”

She clearly isn’t, but she’s too kind to say so as she kisses your forehead and clambers in to bed next to you as you nestle in close.

The soft scent of her perfume and the sound of her heartbeat is all the lullaby you need as you let yourself grab a few more hours of sleep. 

A few days of this routine, and of Padme’s diligent care, and you’re back to your old self in no time. 

In fact, a small part of you rather looks forward to the next time either one of you are sick given how nice it is to have the time to spend together. 

So, you still insist on taking a nap together every afternoon despite being off bed rest. “Merely as a precaution” - or so you insist as you steal Padme from her office every day without fail for a small escape. “Wouldn’t want our favourite Senator to fall sick now, would we?”  

[humbughana]

second best

warnings: cursing per usual, mentions of sex (gasp), hidden feelings (ugh the angst), dick rafe (yum), bad writing (the horror)

words: 3k

enjoy lovers x

Rafe and Lola have been friends since they were born, both shoved together by their families and being the same age, it was easy for them to grow closer throughout the years. 

But there was always a line that was to never be crossed.  A mutual understanding, of sorts.

A line that hardened the girl over the years when she started to notice how attractive Rafe got or the number of girls he went through right in front of her. Or the pang in her chest when he asked her for one of her friend's numbers. There was harmless flirting between the two, no more than teasing but it was still hard for Lola. 

So she resorted to drowning herself in boys of her own choosing if only to keep her mind off of her best friend.

“Lola!” 

From where she was leaning against the stairs, she could see the entire living room crowded with teenagers. Topper always knew how to throw a good party, “Yes Top?” She sipped her drink slowly, not looking at her blonde friend who joined her.

He rolled his eyes at her, “You can’t stand here all night, Lo.” He gestured to some of her friends that danced drunkenly, “Get out there.” Lola only shook her head slightly, “Not in the mood tonight.” she muttered with a shrug. It was true - and untrue. She showed up at the house excited to let loose with her friends but she almost immediately saw Rafe with his tongue down the throat of some brunette that was on his arm all night. 

When they were in high school, Topper noticed her soft spot for Rafe, especially after he had asked one of her friends to prom and the tears in her eyes when he saw her leaving the school that day, “Lola-” he started but was cut off with a sharp look that told him to shut his big mouth up.

“I’m fine.” She shrugged and a smile grew on her lips as she saw one of the guys she hooked up with regularly and casually, and as if to say ‘see’ she sauntered over to the boy and leaned into his side, an arm immediately wrapping around her waist. Throwing a smile over her shoulder to Topper he only shook his head in disapproval at her coping mechanisms. 

Rafe and Lola would kill each other, he vouched. 

Lola spent the night perched on the boys lap, drinks placed in her hand accordingly until she unintentionally swayed to the beat of the music. The boy- Jack was his name placed a firm hand on her back to keep her steady. He was sweet, much too sweet for her and he knew about her problem with Rafe. And she knew about his broken heart that his ex-girlfriend gleefully ripped in two. They were using each other, sure, but they respected each other. 

“Coming back to my place?” His voice was warm in her ear and she nodded, too eager to leave the party. She saw Rafe climbing the stairs with the same brunette to where she knew the guest rooms were, gritting her teeth. She let Jack’s hand slide up her back to rest behind her neck, “Let’s go.” Lola mumbled, standing up eyes still on the steps. 

So she would let Jack fuck her until she couldn’t even think about the tall blonde that was crushing her heart.

~

“Fuck you,” she spat at Rafe who only grinned back at her, pleased with himself as he held the golf club with ease. They both took the game way too seriously to have a casual outing anymore and Rafe was now beating her, “Have you been practicing without me?” she demanded, ripping the club out of his hand and setting her own ball up. Lining her feet up he laughed warmly behind her, “I took Victoria here the other day.” 

Barely listening to him, she hit the ball and watched it sail in the right direction with a grin. But Rafe continued and now she was listening, “You know her, I think. I took her to Topper’s party the other day.” So that was the brunette that he was with all night, “I didn’t actually see you that night, Lo. Did you go?” 

“I was there.” She nodded as Rafe drove them to their balls much too slowly when all she wanted to do was sink into herself. There was nothing more she wanted to hear about concerning Rafe and the girl he was seeing, “You must have just been busy with Victoria.” Unable to keep the sarcastic edge out of her tone Rafe turned to look at her slightly with a frown.

“Or you must have been with that Ashford kid.” She rolled her eyes, Rafe made his opinions abundantly clear about her friend.

“Jack?”

“Who else do you hang all over when you go out?” He was serious, she noticed and let out a real laugh. Rafe only clenched his jaw, “Something funny Lo?” She nodded, “Yeah actually. You have a problem with who I hang out with?”

“Only the ones you fuck.”

 She sucked in a breath, partly shocked and angry that he would have the nerve to say that to her face. So she nodded, heart beating too fast, “I am fucking him.” She spoke slowly but unwaveringly when she saw Topper and Kelce in the distance, “Careful Rafe.” she taunted “You sound jealous.” His head snapped to meet her eyes but she only rolled hers in response. Topper waved at the duo and Lola smiled at him, “You better leave him alone, Rafe.” She would kill Rafe if he went after Jack and she wouldn’t put it past Rafe to do something stupid. 

Rafe only angrily stomped off to Kelce when the cart stopped and she rolled her eyes once more at the dramatics of him before joining Topper, “What's his deal?” Topper asked, watching his two friends stalk off.

“He’s mad at me.” she snorted and Topper asked why, “Because I’m fucking Jack Ashford.” She laughed again, finding the irony in the situation while Topper just sighed and shook his head.

“Tell him, Lola.” 

“I don’t know what you're talking about Top” She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead, “I’m leaving actually. Let him wallow with you two.” She walked back over to the golf cart she and Rafe were using, ignoring Topper’s protest and drove back to the clubhouse. 

The nerve of that boy.

~

Lola and her two friends dragged her along to one of the few bars in their area, easily using their fake ID’s to get in and quickly downing a few shots to get them in the mood.

“I’m gonna go dance,” she mumbled, taking the last shot in front of her and wincing at the taste. And that she did, Lola danced in the mass of people and laughed as she left carefree until her skin began to overheat. 

“Lola!” she heard Eve yell and she turned in the direction of her two friends, one of which was in the face of another girl she didn’t recognize. Frowning she pushed through the crowd until she stood next to Eve who stared at their friend in worry.

“Sadie,” Lola started to intervene as their words started to change into yelling, “Come on.”

The girl she didn’t know laughed maliciously, “No - that little cunt kissed my boyfriend!” To which launched Sadie into an enraged furry, trying to reach around Lola that wedged herself in between the fight.

“What happened!” Lola raised her voice, eyeing Eve who cringed to the side. Sadie only laughed, “He kissed me! You crazy bitch!”

Lola wanted to groan, that was until the angry girlfriend spat out, “Whore!” Lola turned and smacked the girl across the face before anyone could have predicted the fight. If the crowd of people didn’t already know what was happening, then they certainly did now as the two girls fell in a heap on the floor, Lola on top.

“Get her, Lo!” Sadie yelled gleefully while Eve anxiously scrolled through her contacts, knowing they were about to get kicked out of the bar, if not arrested for being underage. 

When Lola started throwing real punches and the bouncer began sifting through the dense crowd towards them she held the phone to her ear, “Rafe?” Rafe had basically grown up with Lola’s two friends as well and knew something was up at the sound of her voice, “What’s up, Eve?”

“Please come get us? Lola’s fighting some girl and-” she cut herself off, “We’re at Brothers.” Rafe cursed at the girls but hung up with the promise he’d be there soon. 

The bouncers finally intervened, one grabbed Lola around the waist, the other two were dragging Sadie and the angry girlfriend out. Eve just followed behind with red cheeks while Lola cursed the bouncers to hell and back, Sadie still yelling at the other girl. They were unceremoniously dumped on the sidewalk outside, “You cause any problems out here and we’re calling the police.” The men looked at them pointedly and Eve prayed Rafe would show up and hopefully with his friends, she didn’t know if Rafe would be enough.

“Happy now? Your boyfriend probably has his tongue down someone else's throat.” Sadie crossed her arms as she stood next to Lola who looked crazed still, “Fucking psycho,” Lola muttered, catching the attention of the girl anyways.

“What did you call me?” her nasally voice rang true as she got back into Lola’s face and she only smiled.

“A. Fucking. Psycho.” Lola spat each word harshly as the girl's face turned red, Lola couldn’t react fast enough to dodge the hand that hit her cheek harshly. Eve could have cried when a familiar boy brushed past her and grabbed Lola around the waist and dragged her flailing body away.

“Rafe!” Sadie yelled in surprise, “I’m so glad you came.” She swayed slightly and Topper grabbed her elbow so she didn’t fall, “Topper too?” The drunk girl laughed forgetting all about the fight and the other girl finally stalked away, defeated.

“Lola calm the fuck down.” Rafe grabbed her jaw when he set her down in front of him finally. She hissed in pain and he let go, surveying her bruised face in disdain, “What the hell?” Rafe nodded to his friends behind them, telling them to get the other two girls home.

“She started it.” Lola crossed her arms stubbornly, “She insulted Sadie!” Rafe shook his head, a small smile graced his face and she softened immediately, “Don’t be mad at me,” She pouted, the alcohol making her a tad more open with her feelings. Rafe only laughed quietly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Let's get you home, Lo.” He walked the two of them to his car as she walked him through the fight, “I totally won too.” She finished with a victorious grin.

Rafe lifted her up into the car with a grin, “I’m sure you did, baby.”  She warmed at the pet name that easily fell into their conversation and sat with a shit eating grin as he jumped into his side of the car, “Can I stay with you?”

Rafe nodded with a smile and began driving, “Course.”

Lola turned up the radio and began to hum to the songs she knew as Rafe could only watch her with a soft smile, “C'mon, Lo” He pulled her out of the car when they arrived at his familiar home and she only groaned and closed her eyes dramatically, “Fine,” he shrugged, “You leave me no choice.” He swiftly picked her up and walked them to the front door, setting her down on unsteady legs to unlock the door. Lola happily led the way to Rafe’s bedroom and began to sift through his closet for clothes to sleep in and took off her little top, hearing a slight cough behind her. 

“What?” She turned around completely, the shirt clutched to her bare chest and a smirk on her face made him swallow harshly, “Put the shirt on, Lola.” She rolled her eyes at his seriousness and slipped the shirt on before dragging the skirt down her legs.

“You’re no fun, Rafe.” She mumbled, crawling into his bed and shifting under the covers. He only looked at her with a look she couldn’t decipher before shaking his head, “I’m going to the guest room. You can take my bed.” 

“What?” She sat up on her elbows with a confused frown, “We’ve always shared a bed.” 

Rafe rubbed his eyes in frustration, “We’re not kids anymore, Lola.”

She was utterly confused, “Rafe I slept here, with you, last week. What’s wrong with you?” Fully sitting up now she furrowed her eyebrows when he shook his head.

“It’s different now,”

“In the past four days, you mean?” 

Rafe sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “ Goodnight Lola.”

“Rafe Cameron!” She threw a pillow at his back when he turned to leave his own room and he sighed audibly again at her antics. She tried not to let it sting, wondering what changed to wedge a space in between them.

“Don’t look at me like that,” He groaned and she blinked rapidly, now on her knees on the bed.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m breaking your heart over this.” 

Lola bit down on her bottom lip, “What if you were?” She looked at him with wide eyes, glassy from the alcohol and maybe her emotions. Rafe furrowed his brows as if confused with her admission but shook his head anyways, “You don’t mean that. Go to bed, Lo.” 

“Fuck you, Rafe. I’m leaving.” She jumped off the bed, stumbling slightly and began to grab her clothes when Rafe snatched her upper arm, “Like hell you are.” But she was ready and shoved his chest until he stumbled backwards. “Tell me the truth.” Lola crossed her arms expectantly and Rafe looked equally annoyed.

So he shrugged, “I don’t want to mess things up with Victoria. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea of our relationship.” And suddenly she was a freshman in highschool again, Rafe had just started dating a girl he barely knew and she was alone. Rafe left her in the dust for a new girl because he ‘didn’t want them to get the wrong idea’. 

And everytime she waited like a lost puppy for Rafe to call or text her, telling her he broke up with whoever he was seeing. Everything could go back to normal, she always thought. Always the faithful little friend.

So the sour look on her face fell to one of loss and Rafe had the nerve to ask what was the matter, she let out a dead laugh, “I’m not doing this anymore, Rafe. I won’t” She shook her head, her mind clear as his eyes reflected the opposite.

“What are you talking about?” 

She began to grab her skirt, pulling it back up her legs, leaving his shirt on and pulling on the jacket she had, “You cannot throw me to the side when it is convenient for you. I won’t wait for you anymore. So you either find a way to balance or this is goodbye Rafe.” She clipped his shoulder on her way out the door before he turned to follow on her heels. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!!” He was angry with her. Good, she thought. And only when she reached his front door did she turn, “You think about that. Hell, even ask Topper. But I can’t do this anymore. I’m walking home.” 

And that she did. The walk was really only five minutes as they lived on the same street and as usual her house was empty. Sitting in the empty kitchen in the dark, Lola pulled out her phone to see a few texts,

top: tell him. 

rafe: are you home?

And lastly, one that made her stall,

jack: can I come over?

~

“Morning,” she mumbled into her pillow as she felt the boy next to her shift with a groan. Jack’s hands reached out until he grabbed her waist and pulled her into him, burying his face into her neck tiredly, “morning lo.” his hands ran over her back in a comforting way that had her clinging to him, their legs tangled together. 

But neither of them were who the other truly wanted to find next to them in the mornings. 

Jack pulled away first, slowly sitting up and running a hand through his hair. He looked lost; sad even and she sat up behind him, running her hand up to his shoulder, “What happened?” she pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder as he covered his face with his hands. And there was always a reason for their visits.

“she moved on.” was all he said and Lola wrapped her arms around his waist from behinds and let them bask in the comfort for a little longer. 

But it was her turn when he turned his body to face her, “why am I here?” he looked at her pointedly and she smirked, “because I love your company.” he smiled at her but they both knew it wasn't the truth, so he laid her back down and propped himself on his elbow to look at her from the side. 

Lola sighed, looking from him to the ceiling over her, “he’s done with me.” she kept it short and sweet like he did but he still frowned, looking over her face as if to say who could possibly leave you behind? The sweetness of the boy next her here made her heart squeeze painfully, if only she could love him instead. 

He kissed her deeply when the first tear fell on her cheek and didn’t stop until her mind went blank with pleasure as he rocked into her late into the morning sun. Only when they both collapsed back onto the bed, breathing deeply, did she look at him but there were simply no words to say.

xx

*part 2

[13leaguestories]

It's Sydero's birthday, she doesn't want to celebrate because she's that type of bitch, but Roe being Roe ignores her and gets her a baby snake (let's assume they are in a situation in which she can properly look after her), so anyway, how would our favourite cambion react? <3

Alright putting this fluff underneath the cut

Sydero glares at you as she takes the box from you. You watch as she’s about to shake it and quickly put an end to it.

“Syd, trust me. The last thing you want to do is shake that.”

“Trust you? I told you I didn’t want anything,” she hisses, and for a minute, you stop and think of the irony in her tone and delivery. You rest a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes. Trust me. Just open it. And if you hate it then I’ll return it and never speak of it or your birthday again.” She stares at you for a few more seconds before finally letting her curiosity guide her actions. You watch as she opens the box cautiously, her hand hovering in the air as she stares down at what lies within. She chews on her bottom lip and blinks a few times, turning away from the box and looking at nothing in particular as she continues to blink.

“Syd?”

“Shut the fuck up!” she growls, her voice choking as puts the box down and turns away completely. “Ugh, get a hold of yourself.” You can’t help the smile that appears, not even attempting to hide it when she turns back and her eyes are slightly watery.

“I’m not going to hug you,” she warns, “but I ... I um ...”

You place your hand on her shoulder, “I understand. I’m glad you like him.”

Her lip quivers, “tell anyone of this and I will kill you.”

“Would expect nothing less.” She places all of her attention on the baby snake, mumbling to it with a thousand watt smile, as she tried to come up with a name.

[re-diesirae]

16. Claire

When she woke up, the room was dark and barely lit by the light of the computer screens. Claire pushed herself up carefully and found Leon sleeping by her side. His hair perfectly combed, and his arms crossed over his chest. She didn't want to wake him, so she remained silent, letting herself get lost in her thoughts. Her headache had gotten a little better, but she wanted those painkillers, just in case.

Claire hated when she woke up in the middle of the night since she could never go back to sleep again. That left her lying in the darkness, thinking of a lot of useless things. That's why she had started staying in the office at night. That way, whenever she woke up in the middle of a night, something that happened often, she would drag herself into the lab and work on her research. She would often find Saya there, and the woman would make her hot chocolate, and they would either end up working the entire night or just casually chatting with Saya. Claire preferred that to the solitude of her apartment.

Well, I can't complain. I do have company. It's just that he is deeply asleep.

Thinking about Leon brought her memories of their earlier chat, and she was mad at herself for blushing when the agent had casually commented that he liked her. She already knew Leon liked her as a friend, so what was she doing getting flushed about it? Unfortunately, she couldn't control her physiological responses. Claire had always liked Leon. Even since Raccoon city, but back then, she had seen him go all over Ada, and she knew he still was all over her. They had had their moments after leaving the city, and she had thought about him often in the later years, but he had somehow become a platonic love, and she was okay with that.

Oh, Claire. You're just cursed. The decent men that you come to love and who care about you are the ones you can never have. She laughed at the irony.

"May gods kill me. What am I even thinking?" she whispered to herself as she looked at the sleeping man.

Ada was lucky; the woman should just swallow her pride and accept Leon once for all. That would make things easier for her. He would be happy, and she'd feel happy for him as well. That was the right thing to do..., right?

"Yeah, because at the end, you'll be alone." that little voice that had come to speak in her head so often whispered, "He will go to his beloved, and even your brother will leave you for his sweetheart. What will be left for you? An empty apartment filled with nightmares that lurk in the shadows and solitude."

Claire shook her head. If that voice was her conscience, she seemed to have a pretty rotten one, but maybe that inner voice wasn't wrong after all. Leon and Chris would make their lives someday. They wouldn't be agents forever, and when that happened, she would probably be in the way, but who was she to stop them from being happy? If Chris wanted to marry, she'd approve it. The same with Leon, even if it was that infamous spy.

"But you know you don't like it. You don't want him to go to her."

"Ugh, shut up," she mumbled, rubbing her temple.

" He likes her much more than he'd ever come to like you, even though you loved him that much."

Claire shook her head, trying to push away that annoying little voice.

"Pathetic, aren't you? Loving someone you shouldn't. It's your curse, maybe, Leon knows it too. All those who have come to you have died, one by one like Steve, like Piers, like Neil,"

Why did it have to mention Neil?

"Loving you would drag him to death. He'll die….painfully, just like they did."

Claire rubbed her head, maybe stronger than she had intended, but the pain made it hard to hear the voice, and that was a good thing, but suddenly, she felt a couple of warm hands grabbing hers and forcing her to stop.

" Hey, stop that…" Leon whispered, "You'll hurt yourself."

" Leon? I am sorry, did I wake you?"

"Don't worry about that. What happened? "

"I…"

I had an unpleasant conversation about you with my subconscious. Yeah, tell him that, so that he can take you for crazy.

"I had a nightmare... I have them pretty often. Sorry, I didn't warn you about that."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'll rather not."

She stared at her hands. Leon was still holding them, and she cursed herself for wanting to stay like that for a bit longer.

Get a hold of yourself, Claire. You are not a teenage girl; you're a grown-up woman in a pretty bad situation. You can't be wasting your thoughts and energy on these stupid things.

Unfortunately, Leon wasn't helping. The man was rubbing her hands with his thumbs, a gesture that probably wanted to soothe her. He was worried, and she felt a pinch of guilt; she could at least try to tell him a part of what was making her uneasy.

"Neil…" she muttered.

"What?"

"Neil Fisher. My nightmare…" she lied. She felt bad about lying, but well, it wasn't entirely a lie. Part of her reaction was related to him, after all.

She felt his gaze staring at her, but he didn't reply as he waited for her to continue.

"I guess you might call it a trauma. Neil was a nice man, and for the first time in years, I thought I had found someone. It was stupid of me. I let my guard down. "

"You loved him?"

Love? She had liked him, yeah, but it couldn't be called love. They had things in common, and she had found his company pleasant, but their relationship never went beyond that. She somehow grew attached to him, and then she had thought that, maybe, something could happen there. How wrong she'd been.

"I don't think I would call it love. There was affection, but not real love. Call me old fashioned, but I am the kind that thinks there's no real love than the first. Neil was. someone special and what he did, god, it just tore me apart in so many ways."

She was honest. Neil's betrayal hurt more than anything. Neil broke her trust, the respect she felt for him, and she felt cheated. Maybe, to some, it would sound exaggerated, but to her, his betrayal had touched her deeply.

"It just….keeps tormenting me. I can't see anyone without thinking if that person would do the same. I just…., I recommended him for the job. He had experience, so I thought that he would do a good job, but if I think about it. Maybe if I hadn't, all that crap that happened would have never happened and, everyone: Pedro, Gabe, Edward, and Gina; they would all still be alive…"

"What happened was not your fault."

"It somehow was. I mean, Neil had access to our information because I rejected the spot and recommended him instead. If I hadn't been so biased about him.."

"You couldn't have known. Claire, you made a mistake, but it wasn't your fault. Some people are just good at hiding who they are. There was no way you could have foreseen what he planned."

"I guess… you might be right. I am sorry, I can be silly at times."

"Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Leon." she said with a friendly punch on his arm, "What times is it? Chris is certainly late, or it's just me?"

"He is late. It's 4 am. It'd be dawn soon."

"Ah...I think I've never been so grateful about sunlight."

"Not a morning person?"

"I am more a night owl, but mornings are okay, though. Do you think they'll bring us breakfast?"

"Who knows," he snorted, "But I'm sure they bring us some nice guns."

"They better do." she laughed, "I shouldn't complain. This little one saved my life enough times…"

The woman looked at the old rifle she'd picked on the village. The thing was old, but it had worked well until now. Still, she'd rather have something a little more powerful if she was to enter the underground facilities.

"But the girl is old. I don't know if her firepower will be enough for whatever is inside that laboratory."

"You tell me. I miss my guns."

"Don't worry. I can persuade Chris about sharing his toys."

"No doubt about that. Chris would never refuse that look."

Claire winked at him with a smile. She knew Chris had a soft spot for her, and with the years, she'd learned to use that to her advantage.

"What about you? Can you refuse it?" she laughed.

Leon meditated on his answer. His lips curled in a mischievous smile.

"Guess that would depend."

Claire rolled her eyes, ignoring the man's soft laughter. She pushed herself up and walked to the computer once more. Claire had skipped the night surveillance since she'd been tired, but now it was a good time to look through it. She had trusted that the facility security system would keep them safe.

"Signs from our little friend?" Leon said, approaching her after checking his gear. It seemed to be a habit of him, perhaps acquired with the years since she'd not seen him do that before.

" Let me see….well, look at that. Our ugly friend is finishing its diner-breakfast. Ugh, not something I fancy watching the first hour in the morning."

The image on the screen was nasty, and she knew that if that screen had not been a security camera, the screen would be a bloody mess. The B.O.W was the same that had attacked them in the cave, or at least the same type of beast. She felt chills as she stared at the same spider-like body crawl through that corridor, the claws on its front limbs impaled the bodies of some unfortunate Carriers.

"This thing intrigues me. I hope we can gather more information about it."

"I just want to know what it is and how I kill it. That's enough for me."

The redhead couldn't help but laugh about the boldness in his statement. Maybe it was that deadpan tone he had used, but she had found his words amusing.

"Do you think that's the one who attacked us?"

"Hard to tell. For all we know, the place could be crawling with those." Leon replied, shaking his head, "That's why I said what is it, and how do I kill it."

" I got you, Leon. If I figure that out, you'll be the first to know; but it's the first time I see B.O.W.s that "eat" B.O.W.s. I mean, I know there are some specimens that are extremely hostile to their kind, but to feed on each other?"

"These people are sick, so I wouldn't be surprised if they did it on purpose."

Claire was thinking of any reason why Neo-Umbrella would want to create a mutant who fed up with other mutants when a soft beeping interrupted her line of thought. She realized it was Leon's communicator when the man pulled it out from his pocket and answered.

"Hunnigan. It's so good to hear from you again."

" I can say the same thing, Leon. I got contacted by the B.S.A.A Alpha team just a while ago. They'll be arriving at your location within some minutes."

"Sure, they can take all the time they want. It's not like we'll be going anywhere."

"Funny, Leon. It's nice to see you still have your humor," Hunnigan said, amused.

"Well, someone needs to keep the mood up."

Hunnigan snorted.

"Anything important that we should know?" Leon said, "The jammer disconnected us from the rest of the world, so how about an update?"

"Well, I think I can fill you up with all the recent events, and perhaps you could do the same."

"Sounds fair. What do you have to tell, Hunnigan?"

"Is Ms. Redfield with you? I believe this might be of her interest, as well."

"She's right here."

"72h ago, exactly two hours after your disappearance, there was a bioterrorist attack launched over Hughesville."

"What?"

Claire was staggered in horror. There had been an attack in her city? Hughesville wasn't even a big city, so why would terrorists target it? Was that her fault, too?

"Luckily, I was informed by a TerraSave contact that there were few casualties. Most of the people of the city had successfully evacuated in the first 3 hours following the first attack thanks to the emergency procedure that Ms. Redfield had implemented some months ago."

"The Aganisia Procedure…" she whispered, " God, so it worked as it was supposed to."

"Yes, Ms. Redfield, and from what I heard, the results were satisfactory."

"If Aganisia activated, it means Anathallis got set into motion, as well. Did the B.S.A.A take the emergency call in time?"

"I was going to that. Indeed, B.S.A.A squads were deployed even before the first report of the bio-attack was done to the authorities."

"Oh, god. So it worked," she sighed in relief, "We've not used the procedure in real situations, only on simulations, so I was worried it might not work in a real context."

Leon looked at her quizzically, but she motioned at him, articulating a silent "Explain it later."

"It worked well, Ms. Redfield. You should be proud. The government wants to contact you once you have returned to the US, to talk about the possibility of implementing it in other cities, but we can discuss that later."

"So, what about the attack?" Leon asked.

"Yes, of course. The B.O.W.s used in the attack are from the C-virus. B.S.A.A managed to suppress most of the small scale weapons without major losses. However, the bigger ones represented a major challenge."

"So, they use C-virus Bioweapons? Damn, so Neo-Umbrella is still mass producing them."

"Mostly, yes. The attack was under control. However, a second attack launched late in the evening. This time, the attack forces included a new kind of B.O.W."

"A new...kind?"

"An unidentified specimen. It was suppressed by B.S.A.A elite Alpha Team."

"Chris…" Claire and Leon muttered at the same time.

"Yes, Mr. Redfield and his companions dispatched the entity after finding B.S.A.A Betta Team completely decimated."

"What did the B.O.W look like?" Leon asked, and Claire realized that the man was thinking the same as her. Could that new B.O.W be like the ones they had found in this place?

"I ...I don't have the details about that, I am sorry. I haven't received the report yet."

"That's fine, Hunnigan. Is the attack still on?"

"Yes, however, it seems that B.S.A.A. is handling it well. "

"Well, that's great. "

"That's all I have to report at the time being. It's your turn, Leon."

"There's not much I can tell you. We are in an isolated area. Judging by the vegetation, we are in highlands, and according to Claire, somewhere in Germany. The locals have been all infected with Plagas, but I have no idea which strain. There are also new B.O.W.s, but I can't tell if they'll match with the one seen in Hughesville. They're extremely violent and hostile with anything that moves, including other infection carriers, so we've tried to avoid confrontation. One of them found us last night. We barely made it alive…"

"Leon, that's terrible. Is any of you hurt?"

"We've been better, but it isn't anything serious: scratches and some bruises. We noticed a behavior pattern in this B.O.W.s. Their movement seems restricted to nighttime, and they seem to feed on other infection carriers. We reached a facility where we believe the responsible were carrying their research. I manage to inactivate the jammer that was interfering with communication, and so we can look for information once Chris's team arrives."

"Understood. I shall inform the higher-ups about this. Leon, be careful. I know it isn't an official mission, but…"

"Don't worry, Hunnigan. I consider it official."

"Okay, let me know if I can help with anything."

"Sure."

Claire watched him put down the command, look at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Care to explain it now?"

" Aganisia is the emergency evacuation protocol I designed for TerraSave. Once it sets in motion, it automatically starts the Anathallis procedure, which is a direct notice and deployment of B.S. anti-terrorist troops.

"I get it. Any particular reason about the names, though?"

"I… I like orchids," she shrugged. There was no deep reason behind the names. At that time, she had seen the flowers, and she found the sound of the name appealing.

"Orchids?"

"Well, what's wrong with that? Orchids are pretty."

Leon couldn't stop himself from laughing, and Claire just smiled shyly.

NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! JOIN SERVER

[raleighcarrera]

cliché

ride or die | colt kaneko x mc (ellie wheeler)

an au where everyone is college friends and logan is getting married and the best friend of his ellie always hated is going to be logan’s best man. as the maid of honor, she’s probably expected to be at least a little nice to him. 

for @rodappreciationweek, of course! day 7/wild card

(spoiler alert: i bent the rules of weddings for plot reasons so go easy)

tags: @choicesarehard, @lovehugsandcandy, @pixeljazzy, @troublemakerinspace, @dancingboba, @yaushie, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @tempesrature, @zigtheeortega, @beccadavenport, @theeccentricbibliophile 

~15.5k words | M (18+)

she squealed, clapping her hands excitedly in view of the laptop’s webcam. “i’m so happy for you guys! seriously, this is amazing.”

from across the country, ingrid beamed, still holding her left hand aloft so ellie could see her ring. “did you know?”

ellie shook her head. “i knew he’d bought a ring but i didn’t know he was proposing now.” her attention turned to logan, “i thought you were waiting until your anniversary?”

he shrugged, looking just as excited as ingrid did. “i couldn’t wait anymore, it was driving me crazy.”

ingrid leaned her head on logan’s shoulder. “ellie, say you’ll be my maid of honor.”

“oh my god, of course i will!” ellie gushed, blinking away a sudden wave of emotion. “please, you guys know i’d do anything for you.”

the two of them exchanged a glance. “glad to hear you say that,” logan said slowly, “because i already asked colt to be my best man.”

the smile dropped off her face. “are you kidding me?”

“come on, it won’t be that bad,” ingrid rushed to assure her, “you’ll hardly have to deal with him. but -- while we’re breaking bad news to you...” she pursed her lips, and then shrugged. “we already set a date, too.”

“it’s in three months,” logan interjected helpfully.

ellie felt her eyes bug out. “three months?”

“el, we got our dream venue,” ingrid sighed wistfully, “you’re going to die when you see it. it was the only saturday they had available for, like, the next five years. it’s in santa monica overlooking the water and it’s just -- it’s perfect.”

“that’s really soon,” she said dumbly, “we have a lot to do.”

“totally.” ellie watched as ingrid shifted from blushing bride in love to ruthless, no-nonsense delegator. “we’re going to cram as much of it in as we can when you’re home for spring break. i already made us appointments to go look at dresses and tuxes and then -- we’ll figure everything else out when you’re here.”

the thought of spending her spring break shopping with colt kaneko was already making a headache start to throb behind her eyes. but ingrid and logan were her best friends. and they deserved the wedding of their dreams.

she pasted the biggest, most extreme smile she could muster on her face. “sounds great, you guys.”

*

ellie relished the long flight home from new york to los angeles, well aware that it was probably going to be the last moment she had to relax until the end of the summer. 

there had to be some irony in the fact that she was midway through pursuing her ph.d and more stressed out about her college friends’ wedding than anything else. 

but her coursework was going well. everything in her life was falling into place perfectly, exactly how she’d always envisioned it. 

this was the wrench in the plan. how she was supposed to make time to come back home for ingrid and logan’s wedding when she’d already committed to spending her summer in miami doing field work was a problem she didn’t need.

so she spent the flight napping, enjoying the five hours in the air as the only chance she’d get to kick back during her spring break. if she knew ingrid at all, she was going to be barking orders from the moment ellie’s feet touched orange county soil until the second they left. 

still, there were at least a few hours she could spend delaying the inevitable.

riya picked her up at the airport and ellie threw herself into her arms eagerly for a giant hug. “oh my god, i am so glad to see you. thank you for picking me up -- i pretty much have bridal boot camp all week.”

“ingrid’s got it all planned out, huh?” riya asked, helping her get her suitcase in the car with a grin. “look, it probably won’t be that bad. you’re you -- when darius and i got married you were the reason we didn’t even need a wedding planner!”

“that was different,” ellie explained, as riya started driving them back to the city, “you and darius are normal. maid of honor doesn’t mean the same thing to ingrid that it meant to you, trust me.”

“well, i believe in you,” her oldest friend declared, “and even if it’s awful, just come over afterwards and we can drown ourselves in wine.”

“done and done,” she sighed. “i’m sorry i probably won’t be around much this week otherwise. i know it’s been forever since we caught up.”

“please, i can’t even imagine how busy you are,” riya said, waving her apology off, “you’re getting close to the home stretch, eh?”

ellie shrugged. “i still have two more years of study, but -- yeah, pretty much. it’s crazy.”

“so crazy,” riya agreed, “but you will absolutely see me and dare in miami as soon as you get set up there.”

the thought of it, with everything she knew was ahead of her this week, sounded like nothing short of paradise. “can’t wait,” she said genuinely, sighing as the car slowed to a stop in front of the house she’d grown up in. “wanna come in and say hi to my dad?”

“uh uh,” riya chided, “i’m done being the buffer between you two. sooner or later, you’re going to have to have that long overdue heart-to-heart.”

“okay, dr. phil,” ellie groaned, “thanks a lot.” her phone lit up with a text from ingrid as soon as she closed the car door. 

be at your house in 5 it said, pulling a sigh of relief from deep within her. 

saved by the bell.

*

ellie only had a moment to drop her bags and shout a quick hello to her dad before she heard a car horn honk and rushed back outside, leaning over the car’s center console to give ingrid a big hug hello. 

“boy, am i ever glad to see you,” her friend said. “everything is already such a disaster. the venue is giving me such an attitude about moving our ceremony outside and my sister is an out of control diva who is, like, demanding to be allowed to read a poem before we say our vows and -- i swear i’ve almost killed logan at least twice.”

“wow. okay, well -- all of that sounds fixable.” though already she knew the next three months were going to be nothing like the ramp up to riya and darius’ wedding. ellie stifled a sigh. 

“oh, it will be,” ingrid threatened darkly, “we’re doing everything at once today. dresses -- tuxes -- groomsmen, bridesmaids. i tried being nice about it, but do you know what i realized? some people don’t deserve to be allowed to make their own decisions. so i changed our appointment and i’m going to supervise and everyone who acts normal will be allowed to come help me pick out my dress at our new appointment on wednesday.”

ellie blinked. “whatever you want,” she said finally, her brain still working to process what the hell she was talking about, “it’s your day.”

“yes it is,” ingrid agreed viciously, “i’m glad you’re on board. come on.”

ellie followed behind her into the boutique they’d arrived at, immediately catching sight of eight or so of their closest friends from college, plus logan’s cousin and ingrid’s sister, the latter who was staring at a long, pink dress with her arms crossed petulantly over her chest. “i’m not trying that on,” she said, as ellie stepped closer, “it’s going to accentuate my shoulders.”

“look, brat,” ingrid started, lowering her voice to the dangerous timbre ellie had come to associate with group project members who weren’t pulling their own weight, “get in that dressing room and put this on right now or so help me god --”

“ellie!” 

she turned around and saw logan, the distressed look on her face instantly melting into one of relief. “oh my god, hi,” she laughed, rushing over for a hug, “it’s so good to see you!”

“hey, back at you,” he grinned, “seriously, i know this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your spring break, but -- thank god you’re here. ingrid needs all the help she can get.”

ellie pulled out of his arms and saw that he was wearing an elegant black tuxedo, the lines of which settled nicely on his shoulders and seemed to suit him perfectly. “okay, but -- this is a great tux.” she called out to ingrid over her shoulder. “come look at this one.”

ingrid walked over and gave logan a cursory glance. “i hate it. get changed.”

logan shot her an amused glance, but dipped back into the dressing room without a word. bless him, ellie thought, before drawing in a deep breath and asking, “okay, where do you want me?”

as if on cue, a harried shop attendant immediately dropped a pile of gowns into ellie’s arms. “follow me.”

*

the first dress she tried on was bright pink and heavily ruffled -- so ugly she honestly didn’t even want to show everyone. 

but she hitched up the skirt and stepped out of the dressing room obligingly, standing in front of the mirrors and the rest of the bridal party for ingrid’s judgment.

you have the ideal body type, ingrid had explained nonsensically to her as they herded her off with the gowns, so you’ll try on all of them and then once we find one we like everyone else will try it on, too. 

ugh. “it’s not... that bad,” ellie said delicately, once she was situated on the platform in front of the group.

“not if you’re little bo peep.” 

god. she’d know that smug, arrogant, self-centered, self-obsessed, narcissistic egomaniac voice anywhere.

“hi, colt,” ellie said pointedly, without turning her head, “nice to see you, too.”

he stepped closer, directly into her field of vision. there was no avoiding looking at him, then. 

colt was just as handsome as he’d been the last time she’d seen him, over a year ago at logan’s twenty-fifth birthday party, but this time, he was in a navy blue tux that had no business looking as good as it did. 

he smirked at her. “as if anyone could miss you in that thing.”

ellie sighed, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. formalwear could only go so far when it came to making him appear tolerable, it seemed. “do you always have to be the most insufferable person in every room you’re in?”

“not always, no. but i like to win.”

“it’s disgusting,” ingrid declared abruptly, before ellie could snap back at him, “please take it off. can you try on the purple one next?”

she ducked back into the dressing room, thunking her head softly against the wall once the door swung shut behind her. why me, ellie thought miserably, i’m a good person. this isn’t fair.

it took two and a half hours, but eventually, she’d tried on what felt like every single dress at the store. finally, once she’d wiggled into a gown that was a soft, sky blue, figure-hugging with thin straps and delicate lace accents over tasteful cut-outs, ingrid gasped, “that’s it! that’s the one.”

every bridesmaid, including ellie, sagged with relief. “great,” she smiled, “i’ll just get out of the way so everyone else can try theirs on, too.”

just before she stepped back inside the dressing room to get changed, she caught sight of colt, who was still standing around on their side of the shop for some reason. he was staring at her, face carefully blank -- though there was something in his eyes she couldn’t quite place.

as soon as he noticed she’d caught him looking, he stormed off.

once ellie was back in her street clothes, ingrid said, “i’ll finish up over here. can you please go make sure the guys are on the right track?”

ellie winced as she approached the men’s side of the store. half of logan’s groomsmen were dressed in navy, the other half in black -- logan had a white jacket on and one of their friends from college, brent, was inexplicably wearing pants that were powder blue.

“oh my god, ingrid’s going to kill you,” she said to logan. “i can see why she sent me over here to babysit.”

“hey, i’ve got it sort of under control,” logan said defensively, “she said she wanted slate grey. look at this.”

ellie cringed again as he held a jacket on a hanger aloft in front of her eyes. “that’s charcoal grey.”

the determined look on logan’s face crumpled immediately. “fuck. can you help me?”

she was already nodding before he finished his question. “just -- get in there and get that off before anyone sees. i’ll pull tuxes for everyone.”

it was only a few minutes before she was passing out new outfits, herding each of logan’s groomsmen into their respective dressing rooms one by one. 

only one of them gave her any trouble about it. as soon as she passed him his tux, colt scowled, asking, “what is this?”

“a tuxedo,” she answered tersely, “presumably you’ve seen one before? like, an hour ago? those are all called tuxedos. maybe you never learned the word?”

he merely rolled his eyes at her. “why are you giving it to me?”

“because i want you to put it on. now. like, immediately.” 

still, he just stood there. “i already tried on forty of them.”

“then one more shouldn’t make much of a difference.” she shoved his shoulder expectantly. “go.”

ingrid wandered over just as they all started to emerge. as they stood in a line outside the dressing room, she laid a hand to her heart and gasped. “oh my god, they’re perfect. baby, you did such a good job!”

“actually --” logan started, though he stopped abruptly as soon as he caught sight of the way ellie was frantically shaking her head from behind ingrid’s back, “uh, thanks. i want everything to be perfect for you.”

“oh my god, you guys can do something right,” ingrid sniffed, “i’m so happy. okay -- fuck it, let’s go get drinks. i’ll get the first round.”

*

a few of their friends cornered her as soon as she got her first drink. it was the same every time she came home; everyone wanted to know how new york was, how school was going, what the dating pool was like on the east coast and if she’d met anyone. they asked the same questions every time ellie was able to make it out so they could catch up, and she gave the same answers.

it was exhausting. she gulped down her glass of wine as quickly as humanly possible, just so she could have an excuse to escape back to the bar. 

the bartender slid her a shot when he passed her refilled wine glass back to her. his smile was sympathetic. “you look like you need this.”

ellie grimaced at him, but immediately lifted the shot to her lips and knocked it back. “that obvious?”

“oh, yeah.” he placed his palms on the bar top and leaned in close, grinning brightly at her. “let me guess. family reunion?”

“worse,” she sighed, “two of my best friends from college are getting married. in three months.”

he whistled, slowly shaking his head. “brutal. i don’t think we have enough alcohol in the bar to help you with that.”

“tell me about it,” ellie laughed, taking a sip from her wine glass to chase away the burn of the shot she’d done, “you don’t even know the half of it.”

“well...” he smiled charmingly at her again. “my shift is over in twenty minutes. i’ll gladly listen to you complain, if you want.”

she blinked. “oh, i --”

“hey, don’t look now, but that guy over there has the angriest eyebrows i’ve ever seen.” the bartender leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “boyfriend?”

“what?” ellie turned around and followed the line of his gaze. 

sure enough, colt was glaring at them from the booth with the rest of their friends, his eyebrows drawn together thunderously. 

“oh my god, no,” she said, turning back around as quickly as possible, “never. we don’t even like each other.”

“right. well -- listen. if you do wanna pick this up some other time, here’s my number, okay? no pressure.” 

she watched, dumbfounded, as he wrote it down on a cocktail napkin, printing his name evenly below it. ben. 

all the girls cheered for her when she got back to the table.

“is that a phone number?” julia demanded, her grin wide and wickedly sharp. she reached over and plucked the napkin out of her hand. “jesus, ellie. you’ve been back in the city for, what, an afternoon?”

“give it,” she said, stepping forward as the rest of the girls passed it around the table, out of her reach, “oh my god, he was just being nice.”

“no, please,” gemma laughed, holding the napkin up over her head, “tell us again how you’re too busy to date.”

“i am too busy to date.” she bounced up on her toes and snatched the cocktail napkin out of her friend’s hand, folding it up and tucking it into the pocket of her jeans. “and i live across the country, remember?”

“hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while you’re home this week, right?” brent asked, making her aware, all at once, that the guys were officially clued into their conversation, too. “speaking of, ryan moore keeps asking me about you.”

beyond brent’s shoulder, colt was still staring at her. he looked tense, his grip firm on the glass in his hand. his jaw was clenched tight.

“can we talk about something else?” ellie asked finally, lifting her wine glass to her flushed cheek. “my love life can’t be that interesting to you guys.”

logan reached out and ruffled her hair. “hey, you’re our last single friend. you can’t blame us for being invested.”

“colt’s single,” she reminded him, before she could bite her tongue. ellie risked another glance his way and found him scowling at her.

“colt doesn’t count,” ingrid interjected, “he doesn’t have any social skills. you are a catch. you just need to put yourself out there.”

“and i promise, once i have my ph.d, you can set me up with anyone you want.” a discussion they’d had at least a thousand times before. ingrid looked as pleased about it as she’d ever been, which was to say not very much at all. before she could respond, ellie continued, “hey, will someone please play pool with me? i haven’t shot in forever.”

to her surprise, colt offered, “i will.” ellie slowly turned towards him and found him smirking at her again. “who knows what’d happen to your virtue if you went over there alone?”

fucker. he’d probably volunteered to go with her on purpose -- now there was no way for her to get out of it. and if she stayed at the table for one minute longer she was going to scream.

her eyes narrowed at him. “thanks.”

colt set up the table like she wasn’t glaring at him bitterly, humming to himself while he racked the balls and then passed her a cue.

“you’re awful,” she said, as she snatched it out of his hands.

he just grinned at her. “thank you. break?”

ellie leaned over the table to line up her shot, knocking the cue into the balls. two of the solids slid into the corner pockets. her hip leaned against the table as she watched him survey the setup critically, and she took advantage of the fact that his eyes were elsewhere to study him in turn, making note of what was different about him since the last time they’d seen each other.

he’d recently gotten a haircut, but was otherwise unchanged -- he wore the same leather jacket, had the same smug smile, was still so insufferably arrogant she found talking to him pretty much impossible.

“so, what’s your deal?” he asked suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts and knocking the striped number eleven ball smoothly into one of the side pockets, “you a rocket scientist or whatever yet?”

ellie rolled her eyes, trying not to flush when he lifted his head and looked directly at her. despite his many, many flaws, she’d always found him unnervingly hot. “my degree is in chemistry. so -- no. i still have two more years in the program.”

“yeah, but what are you going to do with it? once you’re a doctor.” even the way he said the word sounding mocking. 

she ignored him in favor of focusing on the table, and knocked one of her balls in. once it was his turn to shoot, she answered, “if you need to know, my specialization is in environmental science. one day i’ll hopefully work alongside some of the best in the world to ensure environmental hazards are at an all time low.”

“so whaddya moving to miami for?” he asked, effortlessly sinking two balls into the pocket at once, “their environment is already pretty sweet.”

“the department is sending me to collect data from the water and air outside of the city,” she answered, her eyes on the table as she tried to locate her next best shot, “it’s for my dissertation. it’s only for the summer.”

“shame,” colt murmured, laughing under his breath when her next shot went wide, missing her target completely, “i’ll be stuck dealing with this mess on my own.”

“somehow i doubt that,” ellie said, “it’s only a timezone change. there’s still phones and video calls and plenty of ways for all of you to bother me.”

“only if you pick up.” smoothly, he sunk the last three striped balls, one after another. she scowled at him. “the way the rest of them talk about how hard you are to pin down you’d think you were the president or something.”

“i have a demanding course load,” she huffed out defensively, “so we should get started on planning their bachelor and bachelorette party before my flight back on sunday. that should be the only thing that’s still up in the air after all our appointments this week.”

“don’t even get me started on the concept of a joint bachelor party,” colt sighed, leaning over in front of the eight ball, “it’s going to be the lamest trip of all time. side pocket.”

“i don’t know,” ellie murmured, resting on her cue as the eight ball sailed effortlessly into the side pocket as indicated, “i think it’ll be fun.”

he straightened up and smirked at her, spreading his hands out wide as if to say look at me. what an asshole. “you would.” colt nodded at the table. his smirk lengthened. “looks like you still suck.”

ellie shoved her pool cue back into his open hand. “one thing you’ll never know,” she promised, spinning on her heel and striding back to the table as quickly as possible.

*

“thanks for all your help today,” ingrid said sweetly on the drive home. “i know it wasn’t easy -- dealing with my idiot sister and all of those guys.”

“colt was as terrible as ever,” she mused, officially thinking too much about it. “i don’t know how he never gets tired of himself. he is such a prick.”

“totally,” ingrid agreed, even though ellie knew she’d softened to him, lately -- though she wasn’t sure she’d ever understand why or how. “but he just picks on you because he likes you.”

ellie lifted her head from where it’d been leaning against the passenger side window and turned towards ingrid with a look of confusion contorting her expression. “what? no.”

“yes,” she insisted, “he’s wanted to bang you since freshman year.”

“okay -- you’re too drunk to be driving,” ellie laughed, though even she could hear the undercurrent of nerves in the tone of her voice, “he’s an asshole to everyone. it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“well, he sure doesn’t talk to me like he talks to you.”

ellie waved her hand dismissively. “because you and logan have been dating for, like, a hundred years. i’m positive he’s just as big a dick to gemma and julia and christie.”

“okay,” ingrid mouthed, arching her eyebrows at the road. 

she furrowed her brow. “he is.”

“forget i said anything,” ingrid said breezily as the car slowed to a stop in front of her dad’s house. “i’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine, okay? seriously, thanks again for all your help.”

“anytime.” 

dread filled her stomach as ellie dragged her feet up the path to the house. all the lights were on inside, which meant her dad was still awake. “hey pumpkin,” he greeted her, as soon as she toed off her shoes and dropped her bag, “long day?”

“you have no idea.” ellie walked straight to the sofa and flung herself down onto it face-first, groaning into the cushions. for a moment, it felt like she was back in high school, without a care in the world other than coursework and group projects and prom. she drew in a deep breath. “planning this wedding is going to be a headache.”

“you’ll pull through,” her dad assured her, “you always do.”

ellie pressed her forehead to the fabric of the couch and scowled, the freedom of her hair covering her face allowing her to express how she really felt. that was what everyone always said: she’d be fine. she’d figure it out. she’d make it happen.

part of her was so tired of always bending over backwards, always finding a way to make things work -- always being perfect. 

some first day back it was shaping up to be.

“i guess,” she mumbled, letting herself sulk for one more long moment before finally lifting her head and sitting up straight. “are you working tonight?”

“yep -- on my way out now. glad i caught you, though. i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever.” 

she winced, turning away from the disappointment in his eyes. “ingrid has a pretty full schedule for us this week, but maybe we can have dinner tomorrow.”

“sure thing,” her dad said brightly, pausing by the couch on his way out the door to gently grasp her shoulder. “i’ll see you in the morning, then. hang in there, kid.”

ellie slumped back into the couch, watching him go blankly. half of her was so exhausted she couldn’t imagine doing anything other than collapsing into bed for as long as humanly possible, but the other half of her still felt anxious and unsettled, the way she always did whenever she had to come home. 

being back in los angeles always felt like losing control of her life. there was something about being around her old friends and her dad and other people’s expectations that made her feel not like herself -- like some kind of persona she was putting on so everyone would perceive her a certain way.

so she could look like she had everything figured out, so everyone would keep saying you’ll pull through. you’ll figure it out. you’ll make it happen.

the thought of keeping it all up for an entire week of wedding activity with ingrid and their college friends was daunting. worse still was ingrid and logan’s engagement party on friday night, hanging over her head as the last obstacle between her and her flight home to the solace of her silent new york apartment, where she’d be able to analyze soil samples in peace until her mind was quiet again.

*

the week passed by in a blur. true to form, ingrid kept her busy for a majority of her waking moments with dress shopping, fittings, a trip to the venue, the florist and the bakery and, finally, last-minute preparations for friday’s engagement party, which left ellie tying ribbons around party favors late into the night on thursday.

“i could kill logan,” she complained to riya in the middle of the one free hour she’d been able to steal away for a mani-pedi, “i swear to god i’ve been playing the part of the fiance since i got back.”

“it’ll all be over soon,” riya hummed sympathetically, “the wedding will be here before you know it.”

as she dressed for the engagement party, she repeated the words to herself over and over again in the mirror. it’ll all be over soon.

she arrived at the venue early. the first person she saw after she stepped out of her rideshare was colt, who was loitering by the entrance to the restaurant, smoking. 

“some dress,” he smirked at her as soon as she got close enough to hear him, not even bothering to pretend like he wasn’t looking her up and down, “you trying to get laid tonight?”

“you know, ‘hello’ works just fine, too,” she said, pushing past him without a backwards glance. her face felt hot as she considered the comment, looking down at herself self-consciously. fuck him. i look nice.

fortunately, the party itself was less exhausting than she’d expected it to be. it was actually sort of nice to catch up with people she hadn’t seen since they’d graduated, and though she had to run through the familiar talk track she was getting sick of over and over again -- how’s school? how’s new york? what are your plans for after your thesis? -- the open bar made her hate it all a little less. 

eventually things started to wind down, until it was late and only the wedding party was left. ellie teetered in her heels as she pretended to help ingrid clean up, shuffling around as inconspicuously as she could manage, given the drinks she’d had.

“are you drunk?” 

she jumped, startled by the question. ellie’s lips pulled down into a frown as she noticed the out-and-out delighted expression on colt’s smug face from where he was suddenly standing next to her.

“no,” she lied, “and shhh. someone will hear you.”

“god forbid.” the shit eating grin on his face stretched further. “you want a ride home?”

ellie blinked. “from you?”

colt wasn’t at all deterred by the high arch of her eyebrows. he shrugged. “if we get out of here now we can probably avoid carrying presents to the car.”

that was all it took to convince her. she followed him out to the parking lot with a laugh, drawing up short when he stopped her in front of his motorcycle. she propped a hand on her hip and asked, “you still ride this thing?”

“it’s part of my image,” he answered, and as he came closer ellie found herself staring at the gentle slope of the smirk on his face. maybe it was the low lighting of the parking lot, but he looked a little softer than he had all week -- almost like when she’d first met him, in college, before he opened his mouth to say something rude and their relationship devolved into exchanged barbs and sidelong glares. 

colt cleared his throat, looking down at the helmet in his hands. “here.”

she flushed, pulling it on as quickly as possible in the hopes that it’d cover her face before he noticed. 

in all the years she’d known him she’d never actually gotten on the back of this thing. she’d seen him pull up to parties and speed away from them with plenty of girls holding onto his stomach, but she’d never actually thought she’d be one of them herself.

the bottle of wine she’d had was making it seem like no big deal, though, so she pressed up snugly behind him and rested her cheek on his shoulder like they’d done this enough times to form a habit.

and then they were back at her dad’s house, so quickly that ellie was almost sad about it. colt was actually mostly alright when he was quiet -- the speed of the bike hardly facilitated conversation -- and he was warm and solid against her while he drove, comforting her to the point that she was half asleep when they finally stopped.

she slid off the bike with a yawn, clumsily yanking the helmet off and handing it back to him. “thanks,” she murmured, glancing at the house and cringing once she realized all the lights were still on, meaning her dad was waiting up for her again. ellie lingered silently beside him, fidgeting. 

colt hesitated. after a moment, he killed the engine. he pulled his own helmet off so she could see his face. “you okay?”

“yeah.” she pursed her lips, then exhaled, blowing a messy lock of hair out of her eyes. “i guess i am a little drunk.”

his lips pulled back into that stupid, familiar smirk. “i know. i saw you guzzling chardonnays back there.” 

ellie leaned in over the handlebars. “stalk me much?”

“you wish.” 

movement in her peripheral vision caught her eye and ellie sighed as she saw the curtains shift. colt followed her gaze to the house, then turned back towards her with an eyebrow quirked.

“is there a reason you’re still standing here?”

she rolled her eyes at him. “it’s complicated.”

he laughed. it was after midnight, and the sleepy street she’d grown up on was completely silent and dark, save for that sound. “don’t tell me little miss perfect has daddy issues.”

“what, you thought you had the monopoly on them?” she shot back, too drunk to stop herself.

surprise flashed across his expression for a split second before he laughed again. “touché,” he murmured, “i probably deserved that.” 

ellie still didn’t move, standing at the front of the bike. they stared at each other, silence hanging in the air between them. it had to be the longest amount of time they’d gone without arguing since their freshman year. 

that felt like a lifetime ago, but she still remembered what she’d thought when they first met at orientation. 

cute, and then, once she found out that he was in the honors college like her, and smart, and eventually, once he opened his mouth, but a jerk. 

“what are you staring at?” he asked finally, and though he was difficult to read on even her best day, when she had one-hundred percent of her faculties intact, she was pretty sure there was no malice in his voice -- just genuine curiosity.

“nothing. you’re being weird.”

he laughed again. it took her a moment to realize why it sounded so different than it usually did; most of the time he was laughing at her. but not tonight. “no i’m not.”

“yes you are.”

“okay -- you’re trashed. do you need me to walk you inside?” 

all the lights were still on. yeah, that was just what she needed. the thought of colt and her father coming face-to-face made her own mouth curve into a grin. “no. but thanks for driving me home. that was almost decent of you.”

“well, i’d hate to be fully decent.” even his smile was different when he wasn’t making fun of her. 

ellie forced herself to take a step away, though it was difficult -- some strange magnetic pull seemed to want to keep her in his orbit, to see if she could maybe make him laugh softly at her again. 

as soon as she stepped back, the bike roared to life, though he didn’t pull out of the street until she’d wobbled all the way up the path to the front door and turned back to wave at him.

huh, she thought to herself as she ducked inside, wine-drunk acid swirling in her stomach with something else unidentifiable along for the ride, weird.

it wasn’t until she was tucked in bed that she privately acknowledged to herself, nice, though, too.

*

as expected, ingrid filled the weeks after her spring break with questions and complaining and dozens of skype calls.

ellie did her best to balance it all with school, which was ramping up as they got closer to the end of term, and packing for her move to miami, though on any given day she felt torn in at least ten different directions while she struggled to get everything together. 

the sound of another incoming facetime call was going to haunt her nightmares. with a groan, ellie fumbled for her phone blindly, not taking her eyes off the instant noodles slowly spinning in her microwave. 

“what now?”

“hello to you, too,” said a voice that definitely wasn’t ingrid’s, and ellie turned her head to see colt staring at her expectantly from the screen of her phone, jolting both from the surprise of seeing him and the sound of the microwave going off. 

“colt?” she blinked, suddenly aware that she was in her pajamas and tugging self-consciously at the cropped tank top she was wearing. “what do you want?”

“we have to go over some things for the bachelor party,” he sighed, and when he shifted she saw that he was reclining in bed. her face flushed.

“bachelor and bachelorette party,” she corrected.

“whatever. is now a good time?”

ellie cast a glance around her apartment, which looked like a tornado had recently swept through it. her kitchen table was covered in textbooks and pages of notes, though the living room had half-packed boxes covering every available surface. “i guess. one second.”

she set her phone down to retrieve her instant noodles and then leaned it up against her toaster, standing in front of the counter to both stay in her phone’s field of view and shovel noodles into her mouth as quickly as possible.

“seriously?” colt said, “isn’t it ten p.m. where you are?”

“i’ve been busy,” ellie answered defensively, between bites, “some of us have lives.”

he rolled his eyes. “did you book your flight yet?”

she paused, fork halfway to her lips. had she booked her flight yet? “i think so.” ellie pursed her lips, and then remembered, “yes! it gets in at seven. i’ll meet you guys at the hotel.”

“okay. the rest of us are driving down together, god help us all.” he scowled.

“relax. it’s only, like, four hours to vegas, anyway.” she was the one who was going to lose two entire days to travel and timezone changes. 

“do you want to sit in a car for four hours with everyone?” he smirked at the look that crossed her face. “i didn’t think so. how are the dinner reservations coming along?”

“good,” she nodded. at least she’d remembered to do that. “we’re all set for friday and saturday night. we can walk to both restaurants from the hotel.”

colt had been adamant about planning everything else, and she’d been all too happy to let him take the reigns. the last thing she needed to worry about was getting them into nightclubs and securing bottle service and busting her ass only for him to ultimately turn his nose up at it and declare the whole thing lame. 

“that should be everything, then.” she just barely saw the way he narrowed his eyes at her when she tipped her head back to get the last of the styrofoam cup of noodles down her throat. “except for whatever girly shit you have planned.”

“hey, you’re going to have to be the one to tell logan that your bad attitude is what got all of you excluded from mani-pedis and facials,” she shrugged, resting her elbows on the counter and leaning in toward the screen. “just so you can do what on saturday? smoke cigars and play darts?”

“someone has to draw the line somewhere,” he said, revisiting the argument they’d had at least four or five times since she was home the month before. 

“you’re impossible,” she sighed, her mouth stretching with a wide yawn. ellie pulled a face at herself, shaking her head. she had at least another two hours of coursework to do once they hung up. 

“you’re the one who looks about ten seconds away from combusting,” he smirked. “you can say no to things, you know.”

“i’m fine,” she insisted, “and i do say ‘no’ to things. when i have to.”

“right. it’s not like we haven’t known each other for eight years or anything.” 

ellie rolled her eyes at him, her cheeks still flushed red. like he’d paid attention to anyone other than himself and whatever girl he was fucking when they were in college. “everything’ll calm down after the wedding.”

“whatever you say,” he shrugged, “just don’t miss your flight to vegas, okay? i’m going to need someone to talk to who doesn’t make me want to blow my brains out.”

what? colt hung up just as she opened her mouth to respond, leaving ellie staring at her phone background in confusion. 

she took one last glance around her apartment, slowly trailing her eyes over the dishes in the sink, the schoolwork on her kitchen table, the piles of shoes that had to be bubble-wrapped and boxed up in her living room.

then ellie turned on her heel and headed off to bed. for once, it felt pretty fucking good to do the wrong thing. 

*

when her flight got in she sent logan a long, detailed text with all the information he could possibly need -- what time her rideshare was going to get to the hotel and how much time she was going to need to get up to the room and get changed -- and asked where she should meet everyone when she was done. 

his response was two short words. casino. craps. typical.

she rushed to get into her dress and get some makeup on and found everyone standing around the same table when she got downstairs. of course, the only available space was just to colt’s left. ellie squeezed in with a grin. “hi!”

“hey, you made it!” eager cheers from around the table greeted her and the tight hugs she was forced into let her know that she had a backlog a few drinks deep to catch up on. 

when she turned back around, colt shoved his hand in her face. there was a pair of dice sitting in his palm. “blow,” he said, staring at her expectantly. 

“excuse me?”

“blow,” he repeated, smirking at her, “it’s for luck.”

“i’m not going to --”

“come on, ellie,” logan grinned, “he’s up, like, two thousand dollars. you have to!”

“this is so demeaning,” she grumbled, but pursed her lips and blew on the dice as requested. colt stared at her the entire time, not even breaking eye contact to roll.

it was only when the croupier said, “another easy eight,” and the table broke out into cheers that he looked away, directing his gaze down at the stack of chips that was pushed over to him. 

“okay, what’s the next one?” he asked, taking the dice into his hand again.

“huh?”

“what am i rolling?”

“oh.” ellie glanced around the table and found everyone looking at her expectantly. “seven.”

“okay, any seven.” colt shook the dice in his hand, then held them out to her again. “come on.”

she leaned in a little closer. “you know, i’d love a drink at some point.”

“if we get this one i’ll find you a whole bottle of dom,” he promised. “blow.”

ellie blew on the dice. she grabbed colt’s arm anxiously as they waited for them to land.

they did, a moment later. she craned her neck and saw them facing up, over the line -- five and two.

all the noise they were making was starting to draw a crowd. ellie found herself sharing a grin with colt when he looked back at her again.

“another seven,” she instructed, head already bowed towards his hand.

he rolled a three and a four. the people gathering around the table were enraptured.

she blew on the dice again. a one and a six.

the forearm of his jacket had indents where her hand kept grabbing at it frantically, but colt never showed any outward signs of nervousness. if anything, he seemed to get more and more excited as ellie called out the numbers and he rolled them, one after another -- an eight. a six. a ten. another seven.

“holy shit, that’s twenty thousand dollars,” ingrid breathed finally, her mouth open in shock.

colt picked the stack of chips up, nodding at the roulette table behind them. “come on.”

“where are we going?” ellie asked, but followed him to the table anyway, her heart racing. all of their friends fell in line around them, hushed. 

“we’re gonna double it,” he smirked. “red or black?”

“you’re going to bet it all?” her eyes went comically wide.

“ellie, red or black?”

everyone within hearing distance, including the attendant, was staring at her. she looked down at the table, and then at the screen, which was displaying the outcome of the last few rounds. her mind raced as she tried to calculate all the ways it could become more complex than just a fifty-fifty probability.

colt noticed her staring and shook his head at her. “just pick.”

“black,” she blurted out, and watched in horror as he dropped the entire stack of chips down onto her choice. “oh my god, i’m going to throw up.”

his arm wound around her waist as the ball dropped into the table and started to roll around. instead of recoiling, ellie held onto him in return, digging her nails into the fabric of his suit as she stared.

there was dead silence at the table when the ball dropped neatly into the slot.

“twenty-nine,” the dealer announced, smiling at the both of them. “black.”

sound exploded all around them. their friends were jumping all over colt and the table, clapping him on the back, cheering and screaming. the spectators who’d been watching them joined in, and ellie couldn’t stop a deliriously joyful laugh from escaping as she looked, beaming, from the stack of chips on the table to colt’s face.

he was already grinning at her, and reached out to shove her shoulder excitedly before pulling the chips off the board and towards their end of the table -- four stacks of ten.

logan pushed between them, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. “jesus christ. that was insane. way to make an entrance, el.”

“me?” she demanded incredulously, “what kind of person puts twenty thousand dollars on black?”

“what can i say,” colt shrugged, eyes still bright when they settled on her again, “i’m reckless.”

well, that was the understatement of the century. she slowly shook her head as the rest of the players at the table moved on to the next round. “i can’t believe that just happened.” 

colt reached out and grabbed her wrist, then unceremoniously dropped five chips into her palm. “here. your cut.”

ellie blinked down at her hand like she’d never seen a casino chip before. “five thousand dollars?”

“hey, all you did was blow on some dice.”

“no, i --” she shook her head, trying to shove the chips back onto his pile with a laugh, “you don’t need to do that. it was fun.”

he shrugged. ellie watched in surprise as colt smiled at her, fixated on the upturned corners of his mouth. “whatever. remember i did the next time you’re pissed at me.” 

colt walked off before she could try giving the money back to him again. she stared down at the chips in her hand for a moment, staring at all the zeroes that looked back up at her.

if what had just happened was any indication, it was probably going to be a strange weekend.

*

after dinner they went to a nightclub. her buzz was kicking in, so the lights and the music hardly bothered her as much as they might have on a normal night, and though she was loathe to admit it, colt had actually done a pretty nice job setting everything up. they had a booth to themselves and bottle service with sparklers, themed shots and props for both logan and ingrid -- sashes and buttons and crowns for the both of them.

seeing how happy everyone was made all the aggravation of the last six weeks worth it. before she knew it, she’d had more shots than was probably wise and her feet were killing her from dancing, leaving her flushed and sweaty when she stumbled back to the table.

as soon as she sat down, ingrid rushed over and grabbed her arm. “come on! i want to introduce you to a hot guy!”

“no,” ellie moaned, digging her heels into the booth while ingrid tried to drag her out of it, “stop, we’ve been dancing for hours. i need five minutes.”

“okay, but he’s so hot,” ingrid insisted, “and you could get laid tonight!”

“or we could just enjoy your bachelorette party!” she screamed back, over the music, “that’d be so fun, too.”

“oh my god, you’re impossible,” ingrid sighed, dropping down dramatically into the booth beside her. "look, he’s right over there.” 

ellie followed the line of her eyes and saw an admittedly very hot guy standing with a few of their friends. she lifted her hand and waved at him, and he smiled charmingly back at her, waving in return.

from behind her hand, when she pulled it in to cover her mouth, ellie said to ingrid, “he looks kind of stupid.”

“oh my god,” ingrid groaned again, “forget it. i’m done trying to set you up.”

before she could argue further, logan ran over to refill his drink and pulled ingrid back up to her feet, dragging her away from the booth and back onto the dance floor.

ellie watched them go, then turned her eyes to the half-full bottle of vodka in the ice bucket on the table. she was in the middle of trying to decide whether or not she was one drink away from puking when colt walked up to her.

“hey, loser. you wanna dance?” he asked, just as she made up her mind and reached for the bottle. he wasn’t loud enough to be heard over the music, but ellie could see the shape of his mouth make each word clearly, mostly because she tilted her head up to stare at him in complete confusion as soon as he got close. 

“with you?” 

“i thought you were supposed to be smart,” he said, and she recognized the easy grin on his face from dozens of late nights out with all their friends in college; he was drunk. “come on.”

she stumbled to her feet and followed him without thinking too much about it, even though there was no way their friends weren’t looking at them as they found a spot on the dance floor together. 

“you know how to dance?” ellie asked, blinking down at colt’s hands, which settled confidently on her waist, in absolute, total surprise, “since when?”

“since always,” he answered, lowering his mouth to her ear, “you just repress all my positive traits.”

“you don’t have any positive traits,” she shot back, though she gave in and wound her arms around his neck a moment later, letting him pull her in close.

“ouch,” colt murmured softly into her ear, and ellie sunk her teeth into her bottom lip at the low tone of his voice and its proximity. “that really hurts.”

her head tipped back to stare up at the flashing lights in the ceiling. colt didn’t say anything -- of course, he loved to get the last word -- and after a moment she forgot how utterly strange it was to be close to him at all and let herself enjoy the dance, smoothly moving her hips against his.

it was unnatural how natural it felt. she was dancing with colt kaneko -- it should have felt insane. they didn’t dance together. they didn’t get along. 

except that evidently they did, and she kind of liked it, too. 

when he dragged everyone out of the nightclub at three o’clock in the morning he wouldn’t tell them where they were going. even ellie was surprised to hear about a planned part two of the evening, though the way he seamlessly swiped a bottle of dom perignon from a table they passed on their way to the door and presented it to her as soon as they stepped back into the lobby of the hotel made her laugh with her whole body.

“you didn’t even pay for it,” she grinned, cradling it in her arms like a baby. 

he looked around, then started leading everyone down a side hallway. “i never said i would. hang on.”

logan caught on as soon as they all stopped in front of the fancy glass doors marked pool, and ellie kept watch at the end of the hallway while the two of them worked to get the door open. one by one, their friends filed quietly inside to the hotel’s closed indoor pool, giggling while they stripped out of their clothes.

“this feels illegal,” ellie said, while ingrid helpfully lowered the zip on her dress for her, “no?”

“it’s only a crime if you get caught,” logan answered, running past and jumping in the pool directly in front of where they were standing at its edge, splashing them both.

“oh, you’re in for it,” ingrid promised, jumping off after him. 

ellie self-consciously pulled her dress off the rest of the way, walking over to the steps and wading into the shallow end carefully. she swam out to join the rest of the group, head spinning from the drinks she’d had.

“hey.”

she turned around and came face-to-face with colt again, staring at what she could see of his bare chest, sticking out of the dark water before averting her eyes with a flush. “we’re totally all going to jail,” she said, apropos of nothing.

“that’s the plan,” colt returned, still smiling that easy, open smile. but he’d always been a lot more fun to hang out with when he was drunk. 

“why’re you being so nice to me?” ellie asked abruptly, reaching out to hold onto the pool wall and treading water to stay afloat in front of him. “it’s weird.”

colt laughed. his own arm braced on the side of the pool beside hers, and she looked over at the way the water slid of his muscles, her mouth suddenly dry. 

“guess i like the reactions i get,” he answered, effortlessly short-circuiting her brain as she tried to figure out what the fuck that was supposed to mean. “plus, it looks like you’re my good luck charm.”

“that was pretty crazy,” she acknowledged with a soft smile of her own, “i’ve never done anything like that before.” in fact, it’d been almost more excitement than she could handle.

“there’s so much i could show you.” 

the look in his eyes was intense -- searching. she wasn’t sure what to say, but fortunately the noise from the rest of their friends splashing around covered the too-loud pounding of her heartbeat as he stood there staring down at her.

it was the most alive she’d felt in months. before tonight, she hadn’t even thought she’d want a break from her routine -- from school, from her work, from everything that made her her.

wading in the pool now, with colt, all she wanted was more.

before she could find something to say, logan and brent swam by, kicking up water with a splash. “come on!” logan called out as a wave of chlorinated water hit her smack dab in the face, “we’re doing back flips.”

she forced her eyes down and swam off after them, hurrying to put some space between them. 

drunk as she was, it was a struggle to even stay afloat.

*

the semester wrapped up quickly; before she knew it, it was time to start shipping her things down to miami. ellie saw and heard from everyone less and less as she finished her coursework and switched into summer mode, even as the date of logan’s wedding grew closer.

finally it was time to hand her keys over to the girl who’d be subletting her apartment for the summer and catch her flight; when she stepped off the plane she forgot, for a moment, that she wasn’t home in los angeles -- it was humid and sunny and everyone around her looked happy, a far cry from the scene she’d left behind at jfk.

ellie went straight to her summer housing and checked in, a little astonished by how nice the apartment was. there was a pool in the back of the building and the beach was only a short walk away; there were floor-to-ceiling windows exposing the view to her and illuminating every last one of the boxes she’d have to unpack where they were cluttering her new living room floor.

her eyes landed on one marked kitchen stuff and ellie tore into it, using her keys to rip the tape. the still-sealed bottle of dom perignon from the bachelorette party was sitting on top of everything else, wrapped in bubble wrap.

the trip or the heat had probably made it go flat but she pulled it out anyway, sitting on the floor and popping the cork. ellie took a sip from the bottle and grimaced -- all expensive alcohol was disgusting.

she set it on the floor and took a photo for her pictagram story anyway, the boxes and the view in the background. it was only up for a few seconds before her phone screen lit up with an incoming message.

it was colt. dork was all he’d written, when she opened her direct messages. the little animation beneath his words indicated he was typing something else. how is it?

pretty bad she wrote back honestly.

guess i’ll have to work harder to impress you

she stared down at her phone, rereading the words twice before she huffed out a genuine laugh. ellie had been avoiding checking in with most of her friends while she focused on moving, but it felt pretty nice to talk to colt again. the new peace that had settled between them had admittedly been a welcome respite, distracting her from every stressor in her life. 

with a shake of her head, she gave in and wrote back guess so.

*

everyone in the wedding was spending the entire weekend in santa monica, and ellie was grateful for the opportunity to avoid awkward conversation with her dad, heading straight to the hotel when she flew in on the morning of the rehearsal dinner.

things were already in full swing even though it was early in the day when she arrived; though she was exhausted from her flight and the work she’d left behind on the east coast ellie still let ingrid pull her up to her suite to start getting ready together.

one by one the rest of their friends started to trickle in, chatting excitedly about the wedding the next day, and eventually, after they’d gone over saturday’s schedule at least a thousand times, it was late enough in the afternoon that she had to go back to her own hotel room to get dressed for dinner.

ellie was the first of the girls to finish getting ready and logan and the rest of the guys were already downstairs at the lobby bar when she came out of the elevator. logan pulled her into a hug as soon as she got close, kissing her cheek hello.

“are you so excited?” she asked, squeezing his arms, “big day tomorrow.”

“i can’t wait. i know we did this fast but it still feels like we’ve been waiting for forever.” he looked adorably eager. “you look nice, by the way.”

“thank you,” ellie said primly, stepping out of his arms to spin in a circle, the skirt of her dress swishing around the tops of her thighs, “not half bad for an all-nighter and a cross-country flight, eh?”

“thanks for flying out so early. i’m so glad you’re here.” logan called the bartender over as she moved down the line to say hi to the rest of the groomsmen, and when she came back around to his other side to accept the drink he held out to her she noticed there was one person missing from the group.

“where’s colt?”

logan arched an eyebrow at her. her face flushed pink, and then worsened when that voice she could pick out of a crowd said from behind her, “miss me?”

the smart remark that was waiting on the tip of her tongue died when she turned around and saw him. he always wore formalwear well, but something about how he was dressed tonight captured her attention in a way that was impossible to ignore. she swallowed.

“just wondering if tonight might actually be peaceful or not,” she said finally, lifting her eyes from the few buttons that were open on his shirt at the front of his throat to look him in the eyes. “i guess it won’t be.”

he shrugged, leaning around her to signal the bartender for a drink of his own. “i promised i’d behave this weekend.” 

“yeah, and you’d better follow through or ingrid’s going to come after us both,” logan grinned, waiting until colt had his glass in his hand before sticking his own in between the three of them. “cheers.”

“cheers,” ellie smiled, clinking her champagne flute delicately against the two rocks glasses in their hands, “congratulations. i’m so happy for you guys.”

“you can back out at any time,” colt said, and then, as ingrid finally walked over and hit him on the shoulder, “ow. what? you can back out, too.”

she linked her arm through logan’s, tilting her face up for a kiss. “no one’s backing out. come on.”

they filed into the restaurant, where everyone’s families were already waiting at one end of the long table. ellie sat down on ingrid’s right and came face-to-face with colt, who was sitting directly across from her at logan’s left. he smirked at her from the other side of the table, bumping his foot into hers underneath the tablecloth. 

she kicked him back, turning her cheek to stifle a smile when she saw him wince as soon as her high heel collided with his shin. 

dinner was surprisingly pleasant, making her cautiously optimistic for the way the rest of the weekend was going to go. tomorrow was sure to be exhausting, with a full day of primping and photos before the ceremony and reception, and the after party following late into the night, if she knew their group of friends at all.

but it’d probably be pretty fun, too. at least she could start drinking heavily as soon as her toast was over.

though she was woefully sober after the cake had been cut and the night started to wind down, certain that a hangover would be a wrench in tomorrow morning she just didn’t need, with the day ahead of her. 

they all took their time saying goodbye and slowly started to head to the elevator. just outside the restaurant door, colt caught her elbow and asked, “wanna go for a walk?”

she stared back at him dumbly. why? “huh?”

“come on, the beach is right there.” his hand slid down her bare arm to curl around her wrist, and he tugged her towards the french doors that would lead them outside onto the hotel’s back patio before she could protest.

ellie slipped off her shoes as they moved down the steps and out into the sand, silent when they both walked off down the beach together. the stretch owned by the hotel was private and closed for the night, so they were the only two people making their way down to the ocean, though she still wasn’t exactly sure for what. 

“how’ve you been?” she asked finally, when it felt like it’d been quiet for too long.

“fine. how are your... water samples?” 

her eyebrows arched. part of her was amazed he’d remembered, and a little warmed by his thoughtfulness. “um, good,” she answered slowly, “well -- not good, they’re contaminated, but... good for me? to have something to study?”

out of the corner of her eye, ellie saw his lips twitch. it was good to know he still found her embarrassment amusing. “that’s good.”

“are you nervous for your speech tomorrow?” she asked, because she was certainly nervous about hers. his smile spread.

��no.” he’d long since let go of her arm, but colt still only shoved the hand on the other side of his body into his pocket, letting his other arm dangle near hers. “i’m just gonna wing it.”

“you’re going to -- i’m sorry, what?” she demanded, completely horrified. “you cannot just wing it.”

“well, i’m going to,” he shrugged, “so don’t lose sleep over it.”

“oh my god,” ellie groaned, “i feel sick just thinking about it. please tell me you’re joking.”

“you know i’m not,” he laughed, that same soft sound from the night of logan and ingrid’s engagement party, when he’d given her a ride home. her cheeks flushed just thinking about it. “don’t you ever get tired of being so self-righteous?”

“no,” she sniffed, “don’t you ever get tired of being so...”

ellie trailed off as she searched for the right word. colt stopped suddenly and turned in the sand to face her, grinning widely when their eyes locked. “so what?”

arrogant. smug. obnoxious. insufferable. reckless. “so...” she paused, tongue darting out to lick her lips, “well --”

colt leaned in and kissed her before she could decide which word she wanted to settle on. the hand that’d been in his pocket landed on her waist, and he lifted the other to her jaw, cradling her cheek in his palm when he pulled her closer to meet his lips.

she froze. part of her had been expecting this, though it still felt so unbelievably beyond imagining -- colt kaneko was kissing her after they’d spent the last eight years at each other’s throats, and tenderly, too, his lips soft and gentle when they brushed against hers.

ellie sighed quietly into his mouth, then looped her arm around him and kissed him back, sliding her fingers into his hair at the back of his head. 

he was a good kisser. not that she’d thought about it, or anything, outside of one or two times --

fine, a few times... 

colt snaked his arm fully around her waist and pressed his body in against hers as close as they could get; there was only the sound of the waves on the shore while they kissed for what felt like an eternity, with all the familiarity of two people who’d done this dozens of times before.

there was something about being alone with him that eased the tension being home always brought with it. something about the new calmness in their relationship reminded her of her apartment and new york and the places she’d always felt most like herself, almost like colt understood her and the things she wanted to say but wouldn’t without her even having to say them. 

finally, his thumb pressed into the hinge of her jaw and he broke them apart, tipping his forehead against hers to stare into her eyes.

in the dark, with the moon behind him, the depths of his gaze consumed her entirely. ellie worked to catch her breath while staring back at him seriously, though there was surely some shock on her expression.

“um,” she said finally. “i --”

he swept her into another kiss and she was grateful for the chance to collect her thoughts before being expected to say something, though every last one she had left her abruptly when their lips met again. all she could focus on was how good the kiss was -- how it felt like giving into something she’d been holding off on allowing for far too long. 

this time, when he pushed her away, he spoke up. “do you want me to apologize?”

ellie realized her fingers were still curled into his hair and forced them to relax. she dropped her hand onto his shoulder. “no.” her eyes lingered on the minute upturn at the corners of his mouth. “an explanation would be helpful, though.”

the hand colt had on the small of her back dipped lower. she raised her eyebrows at him again. “i want to spend the night with you,” he said bluntly, “if you want.”

she pretended to think about it, even though she already knew what her answer would be. judging by the look on colt’s face, he knew she was only acting, too, though he stayed quiet for once and let her go through the motions of looking back at the hotel in thoughtful consideration. “yeah,” she said finally, with a nod, “let’s go to your room.”

*

colt’s room was on the other side of the hotel, and he’d forgotten to pull the heavy-duty shades shut the night before, so the sun filtered in through the gauzy curtains and hit her in the face early, waking her up before she was ready.

ellie rubbed at her eyes and took in the sight before her: the muscled arm slung across her waist was attached to a set of broad shoulders and a sculpted torso, though colt was sleeping on his stomach so she could only see his back, the sheet draped low over his hips. 

his face was squished into the pillow and he was still peacefully asleep, his breathing even and quiet beside her.

she stared at him for a few seconds before a deep sense of dread started to set in, filling her with slowly dawning horror.

you slept with colt kaneko! her brain screamed unhelpfully at her, like she didn’t already know. what the fuck were you thinking?

okay. this was fixable. all she had to do was get to her clothes and get out of his room before he woke up. she could make it back to her suite before anyone noticed she was gone, right? 

his body stirred beside her as soon as she shifted to the edge of the mattress. ellie watched colt’s arm slip off her waist and stared as his eyes slowly blinked open, his jaw cracking with a yawn. “hey,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep and perfectly cozy-sounding, halting her progress out of the bed and almost enough to make her turn right back around. “what time is it?”

“seven,” she returned just as quietly, and he flopped back against the pillow with a groan, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“the fuck are you doing up?” he grumbled. “christ.”

ellie shifted another inch to the edge of the bed. “we need to all start getting ready soon. pictures are at two.”

“it’s seven,” he sighed, “she can’t possibly expect you to --”

“she does.”

colt groaned again, louder this time. he rolled onto his back and pressed both palms against his face, then pushed his hands through his hair. “we’ll get up in ten minutes,” he declared decisively, dropping his cheek into the side of the pillow. his eyes were half-lidded when they landed on her. “come here.”

ellie hesitated at the edge of the bed, biting her lip. 

that was probably a mistake. 

she cleared her throat, averting her eyes. maybe all of this had been a mistake. it was so unlike her -- flirting with him, kissing him on the beach, having a one night stand. he’d never even liked her before she started doing all of these things that felt so wildly out of character for her. in fact, he’d always hated her. 

what the fuck did he think they were doing, anyway? 

panic was starting to set in, hot and desperate. “i should really get going,” she said, then stood and snatched her dress up off the floor before she could be sucked in by the curve of him against the mattress. “ingrid’s going to wonder where i am.”

there was complete and total silence as she pulled her clothes back on quickly, piece by piece. finally, colt said, “okay. i’ll see you later.”

his voice was slow -- carefully measured. ellie didn’t look at him before double checking to make sure she had her phone and room key and nodding blindly in the direction of the bed, doing her best to keep her voice faux-chipper. “totally,” she called out mindlessly, rushing out the door.

her chest squeezed tight with anxiety and refused to relent for the entirety of the morning. ellie found herself fighting off a meltdown through hair and makeup, through hours of gushing over ingrid and how beautiful she looked, through a session with the photographer in the bridal suite. 

her thoughts were elsewhere during the group photos with everyone. it took every effort not to look colt’s way when they all got together before the ceremony to take so many pictures her face was hurting from maintaining her fake smile.

still, her mind drifted. the part of her that was adamant she’d made the right decision couldn’t seem to quiet the little voice beneath it wondering what if, her curiosity needling her brain incessantly. 

now she’d never know what he might’ve been about to say or do. she wouldn’t have to deal with the reality of having two pieces of her life that didn’t fit together -- new york and school and los angeles and colt -- because there was no knowing if anything would’ve even come from it.

maybe that’s for the best, said the larger, more rational part of her brain. 

all the excuses she’d used a thousand times before came back to her at once. she was too busy to date, probably, and ill-equipped to have a boyfriend. guys she’d dated in the past had complained about her being hot and cold, either clingy or distant depending on where she was with school or in her professional life. the only parts of herself she could actually tolerate most of the time seemed to be the biggest turn-offs: she was too driven, too focused on her passion projects. 

each word felt hollow, now. maybe she hadn’t done the right thing.

ellie’s pulse raced dangerously as everyone lined up at the edge of the cliff for the outdoor ceremony. she and colt stood just behind logan, side-by-side. 

he wasn’t looking at her. her stomach twisted unhappily. 

she gently reached out to touch his arm. her voice was barely a murmur when she leaned in close and said, “hey, can i talk to you?”

colt looked down at her like she was insane. in front of them, logan started down the aisle. “now’s not really a good time.”

fuck. she was almost definitely going to lose her nerve, but he was right. she pursed her lips, looping her arm through his. her free hand clutched her flowers tightly.

colt felt stiff beside her, at odds with the easy way he’d held her last night. she used all her focus not to trip as they walked down the aisle together and then separated on either side of the altar, the both of them looking anywhere else but at each other.

fortunately, the ceremony provided a welcome distraction from her swirling thoughts. logan and ingrid had written their own vows, and she cried the entire time they spoke to each other, tears silently dripping down her cheeks as she watched two of her oldest friends profess their love.

even the poem ingrid’s sister read made her heart skip a beat, her bottom lip wobbling through the ceremony until the officiant finally pronounced them husband and wife.

ellie was still smiling through tears after they’d kissed and started back down the aisle together. she forgot to be nervous about walking with colt until he took her arm in his and said, “seriously?”

then everything that had happened rushed back to her at once, and she was uneasy and miserable again.

“come on,” ellie sniffed, dabbing delicately at her eyes, “that was beautiful.”

“it was something,” he mumbled, so quietly the excited din of the crowd nearly drowned him out. “i’ll catch up with you later.”

he dropped her arm as soon as he possibly could, disappearing into the venue. ellie watched everyone through the glass windows for a moment before following him inside with a sigh.

bathroom, then bar. even if the first thing she needed was a large glass of wine, the absolute last thing she needed was smudged mascara. everything else could wait.

*

it was almost the end of the cocktail hour when logan found her at the bar. ellie grinned at him wholeheartedly and passed him the champagne flute she’d taken for herself, signaling for another.

“thanks,” he said, reaching out to squeeze her arm, “like, a thousand people have already tried talking to me. you never told me this was going to be so exhausting.”

“getting married is a huge deal,” ellie laughed, “of course every single person here wants to talk to you. you’re going to be making the rounds all night.”

“just -- keep me occupied for a few more minutes,” he said, gaze darting around the room, “make it look like we’re having a really serious talk. start with whatever put that look on your face.”

“i don’t have a look on my face,” she argued, though she knew it was futile.

logan arched his eyebrows at her. “ellie.”

“what?” she asked. she shuffled her feet anxiously and then continued, “look, i’m sure colt already told you we slept together last night, so --”

logan started coughing, spitting champagne back into his glass. he set it down on the bar with wide eyes. “oh my god, you what?”

ellie felt her own eyes bug out to match. “he didn’t tell you?”

“no,” logan hissed, then coughed again. “what do you mean you slept together last night?”

“um,” ellie started, her voice high as she swiveled her eyes to the ceiling, “well...”

“jesus, i can’t believe he finally went for it.”

she slowly lowered her gaze back to his. her brow furrowed in confusion. “what?”

“oh, man. he’s liked you for forever. i didn’t think he was ever going to...” logan trailed off as he caught sight of the expression on her face, which cycled from confusion to realization to horror so quickly it made her head spin. “wait, how’d you guys leave it?”

“um,” she said again, cringing, “well...”

“yikes.” logan matched her look with a wince. “you should probably talk to him.”

she wandered into the ballroom as if in a daze. ellie found her seat at the table with the bridal party and breathed a sigh of relief once she noticed colt was far away from her at the other end -- at least ingrid had done her one favor. 

after the toast, she told herself with a nod, i’ll talk to him. 

after the toast she could have the hard drink she’d need to get through the conversation. they could take a few minutes to themselves.

but first she had to actually get through the toast, and that meant sitting politely while colt gave the best man speech, which he did unflappably well, of course, even though he hadn’t prepared for it at all.

ellie was reminded all at once what’d made her hate him in the first place: colt was good at everything without having to worry about it. in college, he’d effortlessly pulled perfect grades in even the most impossible classes; tonight was no different. he made jokes that landed perfectly with the crowd, getting the appropriate amount of laughs, and finished with something surprisingly sentimental that garnered lots of applause -- both ingrid and logan beamed at him when he sat down again.

and she had to go next.

she pointedly ignored him as she stood with her glass. “hey, everyone. i’m ellie. for those of you who don’t know me, ingrid and i met on the very first day of college -- eight years ago. i’d just turned eighteen and i was away from home for the first time. i actually bumped into ingrid in the parking lot...”

ellie hit all the marks, too: what she loved about her friends, what made them perfect for each other. “-- and i knew he was the one just from the way she’d talk about him. she always got so giddy, it was like there was a whole other side of her i’d never seen before. every day she’d have something new to say about him: ‘oh, logan said this,’ and, ‘oh, logan showed me that’ --”

everyone was crying by the time she wrapped up. ingrid blew her a kiss as she lifted her glass into the air, and ellie grinned brightly back at her and logan before the band came back on and she could finally sit down again.

the girls around her were gushing about how good her toast had been, but ellie leaned around them to catch colt’s eye at the other end of the table.

her eyebrows lifted meaningfully. she nodded at the dance floor.

colt rolled his eyes. she watched him shake his head.

ellie thrust her bottom lip out into a pout. 

he looked sort of close to smiling, setting a swarm of butterflies loose in her stomach. it was both better and more dangerous than the thought of him being angry at her had been. later, he mouthed, turning away before she could frown at him any harder.

that was fine. it’d give her a little more time to work up her nerve -- hopefully.

she grabbed ingrid on her way back to the bar.

“oh my god, i can’t believe you,” ingrid sighed, squeezing her tight in a huge hug, “that was only the most beautiful toast of all time. you ruined my makeup, you bitch!”

“okay, you still look perfect,” ellie argued, squeezing her hand, “you’re the most beautiful bride ever. don’t even start.”

ingrid sighed wistfully, looking off towards the sweetheart table at the front of the ballroom. “i am pretty beautiful, huh?”

“are you kidding?” ellie demanded, “the whole thing was gorgeous.”

ingrid’s grin sharpened. out of nowhere, she said, “logan told me you totally fucked colt last night.”

“shhhh!” ellie cast a glance around desperately, but they were blessedly alone at the bar. “oh my god, i didn’t --”

“yeah, right. why didn’t you tell me?!”

“it’s your wedding day,” she laughed, “i wanted to -- i don’t know. it just happened, it was weird.”

“what’s he like?” she asked, passing ellie a glass of champagne.

“can we not do this?” ellie ducked her head behind the glass, trying to hide her flushed face. “isn’t it time for your first dance?”

ingrid waved her hand dismissively. “in a minute. so? spill!”

“oh my god, it was obviously incredible,” she mumbled into her champagne, “now get out of my face, this is exactly why i didn’t tell you.”

“fine, but we are so not done talking about this.” she reached out and tugged on one of the neat curls of her hair before linking her arm through ellie’s to walk back to the front of the ballroom together. “and you’d better save me a dance.”

*

she didn’t get her moment alone with colt until after the entrees. ellie had given up on trying to catch his eye, so she was surprised when he walked over and said, “i’ll take that dance, now, if you can stop crying long enough to make it happen.”

“people with souls cry at weddings,” she huffed, standing and taking his hand in hers, “i’m sorry you can’t relate.”

“you’re forgiven,” he smirked, so that she could almost pretend there was absolutely nothing weird going on between them as they walked out onto the dance floor.

but his expression shifted when the song changed and her hands laced together behind his neck, absolving her of that illusion near-immediately. she cleared her throat as his hands settled on her hips and they started to sway together.

“i’m sorry,” she said again, more seriously this time. 

he pursed his lips, then shrugged. “for what?”

“for being weird this morning. i don’t know what you were going to say -- um, if you were going to say anything, but i totally freaked out and i obviously didn’t even give you a chance to get to it, so. that was uncool. sorry.”

colt’s gaze was calculating on hers. she wondered what he was thinking. “don’t worry about it,” he said finally. “it’s nothing.”

she drew in a deep breath. well, if he wasn’t going to give her an inch... “logan said you’ve always liked me.”

ellie watched as his eyes narrowed. “logan’s lucky today’s his wedding day,” colt murmured darkly. his hands tightened on her hips briefly, then released. he turned his head and leveled his glare on her. “so?”

“so -- i thought you hated me,” she laughed, that thread of nervousness back again. “you never -- i mean, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

he rolled his eyes at her. “okay, you’re always, like -- smiling and happy and constantly surrounded by people. when we were in school you were in, like, student government and on debate team and running a thousand clubs or doing extra lab hours and everyone always liked you -- so you wanted me to, what, exactly? just walk right up to you and be like, hey, do you want to see a movie?”

ellie gaped at him, her mouth open in shock. “i -- yes! you could have just asked me out.”

“right,” colt snorted, “that would’ve gone over well. you thought i was a total asshole.”

“colt, you were a total asshole,” she reminded him.

he shifted back and forth on his feet. ellie stared in fascination as the tips of his ears went red when he dipped his head to avert his eyes. “i didn’t want you think i had a crush on you or anything.”

it felt a lot like she was having an out-of-body experience. “well... did you have a crush on me?”

colt cleared his throat. “you weren’t like everyone else,” he said, in lieu of an answer, “you’re still not. but i get that you’re busy. this doesn’t have to be, like, a thing.”

“hang on, i’m still processing.” whatever this was, it was officially bizarre. 

it seemed impossible to wrap her head around what he’d just admitted: that he’d always liked her, even at her most neurotic, at the most school-obsessed, five-year-plan focused she’d ever been. 

so she didn’t have to change.

for once, it didn’t feel like she needed to put up some front that was, frankly, exhausting to maintain.

everything just felt -- nice.

“done yet?” he demanded, “the song’s almost over.” 

ellie leaned in and kissed him, uncaring of anyone who might see. his hands were warm over the cutouts in the dress at her sides and she was breathless when they finally broke apart, long after the song had changed.

the look on colt’s face was a mixture of self-satisfied and surprised when he pulled her off the dance floor and out onto the terrace. “i am busy,” ellie said, once they were alone.

colt nodded, looking out at the view of the beach below them. “i know.”

“but -- if you really don’t mind that i have to split my focus with school... and the distance... and the time difference...”

“are you trying to talk me out of it?” he asked, sounding amused.

“...then obviously i’d love to date you or whatever.”

“huh.” colt was smiling as he stared at the ocean. “i guess i probably should have just asked out you five years ago, then.”

“it might’ve been easier,” ellie allowed, shifting to lean her shoulder against his. she reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. “but that’s not really our style.”

colt turned and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “true,” he hummed, and then, “you smell like you have a whole can of hairspray in your hair.”

“i probably do.” she hesitated, looking down at their joined hands. “are you sure you want to do this?”

“yeah.” ellie looked back up at him and found colt’s eyes still stuck thoughtfully on the view. “i’ve wanted to for a really long time.”

“that’s so crazy to me.”

“why?” he finally turned and looked at her, his gaze no less intense than it had been last night by the ocean. “ingrid’s right. you are a catch. it’s crazy to me that you’ve stayed single all this time.”

“well, i was --” she bit the inside of her cheek to avoid again using the word busy, and then pivoted to a more uncomfortably honest answer, “-- never interested in compromising. before now.”

his lips spread into a smile. she felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of it, soft and genuine and open on his face. “figures i’d be the one to break your streak,” colt said, in that same overconfident way she always used to hate.

“oh my god, do not start,” she huffed, using their joined hands to push his side until he stumbled a step away.

colt retaliated by spinning her around and pulling her in close, trapping her against the ledge of the balcony before she could move. “why?” he challenged, “what are you going to do about it?”

she was going to kiss that stupid smirk right off his face, for one.

and he was going to spend the night dancing with her and later hold back her hair when she had too much to drink.

then they’d both spend most of sunday in bed, skipping brunch with the rest of their friends to put the hours before her flight to better use.

colt would drive her to the airport. they would say their goodbyes on the curb.

and she would be too excited to sleep on the trip back to miami.

“just wait,” she threatened, though her voice was sweet; she tilted her chin up to brush their noses together. “you’ll see. i have it all planned out.”

the look in his eyes made her feel like she was doing something dangerous; colt looked both fond and delighted, content and sweet and sure. his free hand lifted to thumb at her cheekbone, like part of him was still surprised to find the both of them out here, wrapped up together like they were. 

“i’ll bet,” he returned, his voice low and full of promise. “that work ethic is one of the things i like most about you.”

“you’ll have to give me a list of the rest,” ellie laughed, eager to hear his take on it all from what was arguably the most unique perspective in their friend group. 

“eh, you can wait,” colt shrugged, gently pressing her in along the stone ledge behind her back on the balcony, leaning over her with another grin, “there’s a few other things we have to catch up on first.”

fair point, she thought, though she’d be damned if she ever actually agreed with him out loud. she had a lot to fill him in on, too. 

he’d probably waited long enough, though, so ellie folded first and gave him that kiss she’d planned, colt’s smirk dissolving as expected when his mouth pressed against hers. 

when they finally broke apart and turned to head back inside, they drew up short outside the doors to the balcony. every last one of their friends was standing in front of the glass facade, staring at them, their eyes wide and their mouths open. ingrid and logan in particular looked unreasonably overjoyed. 

“christ,” colt sighed, as ellie instantly flushed bright red beside him, “is this what this is going to be like all the time?”

“no take backs,” she said, squeezing his hand. she turned to look up at him just in time to catch his eye roll, and the subsequent glare that made the group watching them from behind the door scatter with raucous laughter.

“fine,” he answered, sounding put-upon, but she hadn’t looked away yet and so she still caught the private smile that tugged his lips up against his will.

perfect, ellie thought to herself, and then, for the first time in as long as she could remember, nothing else -- no self-doubt, no exhaustion, no pretending. 

colt was probably going to have to help her get used to how it felt to have everything she wanted.

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 250: Today’s Topic Is: Everything Wrong With Feudal System. And Slavery. Cause We Have Slavery Now.

Chapter 497

Thoughts:

- Fpos/cs: “Save Rob Lucci: Kumadori performs to raise money for medical expenses” Goddammit, it’s always like this. Good people, keep it up! That’s so sweet! Keep it up! (tiny people on this island)

- rOP 250, yay!

- Franky and Usopp will work on Sunny while rest of them (minus Sanji) will go into town

- “I’m a slave to love!” Oh Sanji

- “Zoro! Where are you going all alone!?” “For a walk” *cue panic*

- I won’t type the whole exchange here, just know Zoro didn’t walk two steps away of Sunny and he’s already lost :D comedy gold

- Rest of Straw Hats went with Hachi and Camie (good thinking with transport, guys) into town

- “Some call them the world nobles, others the celestial dragons. They’re so arrogant they wear helmets to avoid breathing the air of common people.” Wow, ok

- “Remember, you mustn’t oppose them!” please oppose them

- Good thing they got Hachi with them, he’ll tell them outs and ins of that island

- Everyone stops on SA, including pirates, Navy, bounty hunters and human traffickers

- “If human traffickers catch you, they’ll sell you. And the law won’t protect you.” …

- I was pretty excited about SA last chapter but apparently it’s actually a horrible place to live

- Hachi put plasters on his face. That means nothing, nosir

- Haha, Luffy went into the bubble :D

- And now he got a bubble bike :D

- They all have bikes now :) it looks very fairy-tale-like (Camie has a really nice skirt, I want one)

- Hachi says bubbles pop when they leave SA climate (we got a demonstration with Luffy)

- BUT they work on Fishman Island!

- “I can’t wait to get to Fishman Island! I wish we were there right now!” I’m relatively sure they don’t go to Fishman Island until time-skip, which fills that comment with indescribable irony

- Lots of foods and hotels, which makes sense, that’s a main port

- Exploring islands is fun

- I don’t know how it looks in anime but here hotel rooms/buildings look like Christmas decorations :D

- they got souvenirs :D tourism at its best

- they split up, Nami and Robin went to the mall, boys+Camie will do the coating

- Robin says Camie is kinda quiet. I didn’t notice? But, traffickers. I get it. Straw Hats, keep your fish-people safe, I’m serious

- They went racing THE MOMENT responsible adults left the building :D

- Wait, what’s this?

- Oh SHIT that’s a slave

- …this is fucking horrible

- “Slavers wear collars tied to a chain. If you break a chain and run, the collar explodes!”  

- “That’s horrible!” yeah, Luffy :(

- “That’s a runaway slave! Get away! Don’t have anything to have with him!” what did these villagers see that causes that reaction

- “We… we have to help him!” “Arghh! What’s wrong with this place!” Brook and Chopper, Straw Hats represent

- Noble/Celestial Dragon alert (who calls themselves celestial dragons? They better can change into actual dragons or I swear to god will strike them off the list of respectful villains. Slavery is evil, just as villains should be, so. But this thing? No. You need to be THAT badass to call yourself a dragon. Galaxy level of badass, goddammit. Celestial requires a high badass level too, so I’m just. aaaaa)

- “DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT!” oh Hachi

- WHAT DID THAT DOG JUST DO

- …nobles alert

- So. This is happening.

- Oda doesn’t fuck around, huh?

- She killed him! SHE KILLED HIM

- After 

- (Hachi stopped Luffy from intervening)

- Oh, she might have not killed him. But not because she didn’t try

- “I feel sick” you and me both, buddy

- Apparently, if you harm a noble here, they call an Admiral to fight you

- “Is it Aokiji!?” that was my first thought too, Luffy :D It would be convenient for Straw Hats :D

- On second thought, I kinda hope not. That would mean Aokiji was actively helping slavers and I like Aokiji. I mean, WG clearly agrees to, maybe even encourages the situation on SA. By that means, Aokiji, by not interfering, passively agrees to everything here. I get that. But still

- “It could be Akainu or Kizaru” yeah. It tells me nothing. Was one of them in Ohara? Who was working hard on that promotion there

- (Yup, it was Akainu, he was there to kill survivors. What a first impression that was)

- “Why are these people so special?” “They have the blood of the creators” oh bullshit

- “Eight hundred years ago, twenty kings banded together to create the World Government. Their descendants are the Celestial Dragons.” LORE AND BULLSHIT, 2in1!

- “Over time, their power has gotten out of control” YOU THINK!?  

Ugh. Give me that lore and leave.

rOP 249  rOP 251

[jeezricks]

anonymous  sent:  “ how  much  death  have  you  seen? ”

“  ...  a  lot.  ”   christ,  way  to  put  it  mildly.  hazel  hues  avert  as  he  glances  off  to  the  side  furtively,  before  his  gaze  drops  to  the  floor  and  he  seems  to  take  an  incredible  amount  of  interest  in  his  scuffed  white  sneakers.  one  of  the  mud - flecked  laces is  trailing  against  the  asphalt.  he  should  probably  fix  that  soon.  

swallowing,  the  teenager  gesticulates  vaguely,  forcing  himself  to  elaborate.  for  once  he  finds  himself  actively  praying  the  words  will  stick  in  his  throat  and  in  doing  so,  shut  him  the  fuck  up  for  once ...  but  at  this  point,  murphy’s  law  really  needs  rebranding  to  morty’s  law,  because  fumbling,  desperate  sentiments  pour  from  him  with  uncomfortable  ease.

“  w--  way  more  than  i  ever  thought  i  would...  ”  most  teenagers’  closest  encounter  with  death  comes  in  the  form  of  attending  the  funeral  of  their  grandparents,  or  something,  right?  (he  should  be  so  lucky.)  there’s  terrible  irony  in  that,  considering  his  own  situation.  irritation  contorts  his  listlessly  haunted  expression,  hardening  his  countenance  and  appearing  to  invigorate  him  enough  to  press  on,  fiercely,  now,

“  way  more  than  i  should  have  had  to!  ”  there  it  is.  he’s  scowling,  hands  twitching  to  ball  into  fists  as  c-136  struggles  to  contain  his  impending  outburst,  gaze  lifting  once  more  with  an  oxymoronic  combination  of  hurt  and  guilt  flashing  in  his  eyes.  

“  and,  and  you  wanna  know  what  the  worst  part  is?!  i’m  pretty  much  over  giving  a  fuck  about  any  of  it!  i  know  as  far  as  rick’s  concerned,  that’s  a  good  thing--  infinite  realities,  everyone’s  replaceable,  just  don’t  think  about  it.  right?  

some  days,  i  worry  that...  the  only  reason  i  still  even  pretend  to  care  when  we,  i  dunno,  decimate  a  fucking  planet  or,  or  cause  the  death  of  a  bunch  of  innocent  people,  is  to  prove  something!  to  pretend  i’m  still  the  good  person  between  us!  

wherever  we  go,  n--  no  matter  what  we  goddamn  do,  people  get  roped  into  our  bullshit,  and  they  die.  strangers.  our  own  family.  it  used  to  keep  me  awake  at  night,  y’know?!  but  now  i,  i  just...  ugh...  ”

(i  think  i’m  a  little  numb.)  it  is  easier  not  to  think  about  it.  he’s  probably  a  bad  person  now,  and  he’s  only  getting  worse.  looking  back  on  his  fourteen  year  old  self,  it’s  easy  to  grimace  over  his  reluctance  to  stick  up  for  himself,  his  fervent  protesting  over  firing  a  gun  at  aliens  actively  trying  to  kill  him ...  but,  hey.  in  his  younger  self’s  defence,  at  least  he  wasn’t  objectively  shitty.  he  cared.  to  his  own  detriment,  to  a  fault,  sure,  but  he  at  least  he  had  that  much  going  for  him.  morty’s  still  trying  to  cling  to  that  trait,  but  letting  go  feels  so  much  easier,  lately.

[dragonleesupporter]

Incomplete Without You (Part 1)

Hey guys! Sorry I’ve been dead for so long. I wanted to make this for a loong time but lost motivation multiple times and nearly lost the whole damn file.

WARNING: Triggers for disablement, depression, talk of a suicide attempt, and panic attacks.

He grumbled as he was pushed along the sidewalk. He had every reason to complain, every reason to be upset, especially when a jogger moved past them. He was always told to be thankful to still be alive with his strange condition. Well, at least he could move his head and face muscles.

            “C’mon man, you said a view of the lake would make you feel better!” Remy prodded his cheek. “Where’s that smile?”

            “Dead. Long dead. Like the rest of my soul.” Virgil growled.

            “Ugh. This job’s sooo boring!” The sunglass-wearing punk complained.

            “Then forfeit your salary so the rest of me can die in peace.”

            Virgil was paralyzed from the shoulders, down. He couldn’t feel his body and needed constant assistance from those willing to put up with his acidic, pessimist attitude to help him do… pretty much everything. He couldn’t even hold his goddamn diploma when he graduated high school. Remy had to hold it for him. He had to give the coffee lover credit where credit was due. He was the one who had lasted the longest as his caretaker. Taking him on “walks” as to not make him feel helplessly alone. Thankfully, his parents did everything else, like dress him and clean him and lay him down to sleep.

            Even though he didn’t feel as alone with Remy keeping up gossipy conversations, he did feel piercing envy for anyone he saw around him. Laughing with their friends, running, swimming, riding bicycles, dancing… Not to mention the people that made fun of him, and yet he was supposed to be more positive that he wasn’t dead? Death would merciful to someone in Virgil’s position. He couldn’t even kill himself. Not to say he didn’t try. The closest he had gotten was when he had annoyed someone enough to shove him into the lake, who was unaware of his condition, while Remy was in the bathroom. Little did he know that the sassy teen was a fast pisser and was able to rescue him.

 Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal? Even for a day?

 “Oh hey, that man child texted you again.” Remy’s naturally condescending voice interrupted his thoughts. But he couldn’t help but smile just a little. “Puppylover99? What did he say?”

 “Work is super fun today! Got to hug a lot of people! Every time I hugged someone, I thought of you, kiddo!” Remy put on a high-pitched feminine-like voice, which made Virgil laugh, no matter how much he hated it.

            “You ass!” He would’ve hit him playfully if he could.

            “Is that what you want me to say?” Remy gave a cocky smirk, opening up messages.

            “No no no!” He shook his head madly, making his caretaker laugh even harder than Virgil did.

            “So… what- oh! He sent another.” Virgil’s smile widened as a small blush made its way onto his face, even though he was trying his best to fight it. “Anyway, I was wondering when I’d be able to hug you in person! I know we both live in Purble County.”

            Virgil’s smile was gone instantly. He had never physically met with any of his online friends before… What would he think? That he… wouldn’t be able to hug him back? Tears filled his eyes, and he couldn’t even wipe them away.

            Remy quickly pulled onto an alleyway so no one would see him like this. The caretaker quickly wiped his face and massaged the base of his neck to calm him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve read it and warned you first.”

            “It’s fine, Remy…” He sniffled.

            He was just about calmed down when he saw two people cheering just outside the alley, diving into each other’s arms.

            “It’s you!”

          “I can’t believe I found you!”

            Soulmates were a natural part of life in this world. Usually in the form of blanked out tattoos on someone’s skin that gets filled in when they meet their soulmate. There are other soulmates whose signs are a bit different, however. There was a case ten years ago where two people, one blind in the right eye, and the other blind in the left that magically gained full sight upon meeting each other. They were pronounced soulmates and are still together to this day. There were other cases where individuals didn’t have tattoos or anything of the sort, and lived their whole life out without a lover, claiming it was meant to be that way. Others have multiple soulmates. The subject is so complex, Virgil had to take multiple classes on it in high school.

 Virgil had been told by scientists and priests alike that he most likely wouldn’t have a soulmate based on the religious belief that cripples couldn’t contribute enough to a relationship, (welcome to Virgil’s church-hell) and the scientific data doctors collected from him on a weekly basis. Most of the population that was physically disabled in a 2018 case study found that they never found soulmates. Since Virgil was such a rare case, the doctors demanded data be collected from him every week to see if they couldn’t figure out what had caused it and if a cure couldn’t be found. His parents greatly profited from this, and so did he to an extent, but it just made him feel like a specimen instead of a living person.

 And seeing two people unite in the soulmate tradition only made him break down more. It wasn’t fair… it wasn’t fair…

 Remy did his best trying to distract him and take his mind away from it, wiping his tears and hugging him around his neck, where he could feel the comfort of it. After the whole meltdown finally was over, Remy suggested going to a food attraction place for lunch, and Virgil reluctantly agreed, eyes bloodshot from all his crying.

 Afternoon Benedict was a place he had never gone before, but since Remy said he knew people who worked there, he didn’t feel as anxious going. Plus, some afternoon breakfast didn’t sound half bad.

 He was wheeled in and saw a very friendly person up front with a pink apron on, saying “free hugs!” on it. He greeted them warmly, bright blue eyes, blondish-brown hair, milky white baby skin, with so many freckles dancing across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, his face looked like a sprinkled birthday cake. Virgil had to resist the smile that was tugging at his lips.

 “Hi! Where would you like to be seated?” His voice was so sugary sweet, the emo could feel his teeth rotting.

 “Anyplace with chairs that pull out. He can’t leave this one.” Remy gestured to his friend.

 Internal sigh.

 “Okay! Coming right up!” He dashed away and got a nice table ready before beckoning them over.

 Virgil got wheeled over and situated. “Now, what can I get for you two?” His honey-dripped voice asked them.

 “I guess… some scrambled eggs with toast? And apple juice with a long straw if you can manage?” Virgil kept the quiver of anxiety out of his voice well enough.

 “I’ll have my usual, bud.” Remy winked at the friendly employee.

 “Okay! It’ll be out soon!” He danced away to Virgil’s humor.

 Now came the part he dreaded about eating out. Remy took a couple bites of his food when it arrived, then started feeding Virgil. The coffee lover had quickly learned not to tease Virgil about having to be fed like an infant, as he’d either get a bite on his finger, or he’d have to help him calm from another meltdown.

 Virgil was thankful that no odd glares had been sent his way yet. Maybe Remy had set this whole thing up so he didn’t have to worry about anybody judging. No matter how tough the sunglass-wearing nerd acted, Virgil knew he had a soft side. A love for kittens, an admiration for children pop star singers, a small addiction to baby sugar sticks… he knew it was there.

 As the cooks were preparing the meal, the cheerful waiter was told to take his last 10-minute break. He skipped to the back and checked his phone excitedly. He was a little saddened that MCR10150 hadn’t responded to him yet, but he kept his hopes high and ate a quick snack while listening to music.

 Even if he couldn’t taste anything, the happy music made the food go down better, like a spoon full of sugar.

 Virgil was just about full when the bubbly waiter came over again. “Are you two ready for the bill? Or would you like to see our dessert menu?” He looked over at Virgil, who was being fed another forkful of scrambled eggs.

 “Luckyyy!” He squealed.

 The emo nearly spit his food out at that, but managed to swallow it.

 “Excuse me?”

 “I’d kill to be in your seat! Being fed without a worry in the word! You must feel like royalty! Nonono-wait!” He suddenly bowed. “My highness.”

 Virgil couldn’t help it. He bursted out laughing. Just the sheer ridiculousness and confusion-not to mention the irony- of the whole situation made him utterly crack up.

 Remy sighed with relief. He knew Patton could be overbearing at times. Yesterday, when he had told the staff and usual visitors about Virgil and how to act around him when he brought him in, Patton wasn’t there, but he was glad Virgil wasn’t offended or distraught over his behavior. It was hard to predict that kid.

 “Well… he doesn’t have much of a choice.” He explained after Virgil started to calm from his laughter. “He can’t feel any of his body other than his head and neck.”

 “Oh! I’m so sorr-“

 “No! Please don’t pity me…” Virgil growled out, interrupting the poor employee.

 Patton gave a quiet whimper, his smile becoming forced. “S-so, will that be bill or dessert?”

 Virgil felt bad now. Even though he hardly knew this living cartoon, seeing his bright cute face darken with sadness made him feel even more dead inside.

 God dammit, he thought to himself.

 “Virgil? It’s up to you.” Remy murmured. He tried to give Virgil a choice whenever he had the chance. He was indifferent to having dessert or not, but he wanted Virgil to feel like he was in control, even if it was for little things.

 “What kind of dessert menu comes out of a breakfast place?”

 To be continued…

  @cefsticklestoo @thestarswelcomemewithopenarms @my-anxiety-hasanxiety

@poptartsaysurloved @leedrop-angel @lavenders-loveforthings @ I’m sorry I forgot everyone else. O.o

[threeletterslife]

08 | Illegirl

→ previous | next 

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity (LITERALLY, WHAT’S NEW), kissing/making out but iN tHe cLaSsRoOm

→ wordcount: 8.3k

The car ride is so silent, you can literally hear the gears of your brain working as all sorts of thoughts fly through your head.

Jimin hasn't said a single word to you since you've left the school and neither have you. It's like the awkwardness is being fueled by the silence. God, you want to say something so bad, but what would you say?

Haha, sorry Jimin, but yeah, I might like you???

You mentally slap yourself, sighing. From the corner of your eye, you see Jimin steering steadily, both hands gripping the wheel tightly.

You almost scoff at the thought but... What if Jungkook was right? What if... he likes me too?

You've never really thought of that possibility before. Why hadn't it crossed your mind until now?

Because you're not supposed to fucking like your teacher, Y/N.

Right.

But still...

"Jimin?"

Your own voice surprises you as you can visibly see your ex-friend jump in his seat. Immediately, you regret ever speaking but it's too late now.

"Yes?"

Damn. You never realized how much you missed his smooth, beautiful voice until now.

"I... This... I miss this." You literally want to shank yourself for your inability to form coherent, non-humiliating phrases.

Jimin looks shocked but he doesn't turn his head to look at you. Instead, he mutters a soft, "Me too."

Silence follows after that, and you're worried you made the situation worse. Just as you think it's ruined forever, Jimin speaks again. "We kind of drifted apart, didn't we?"

You nod vigorously. "We shouldn't have... Right?"

"Right."

Silence again.

"I'm sorry," you say at the exact same time as Jimin. Both of you laugh, the awkward atmosphere lifting bit by bit. It feels exceptionally good to laugh with him.

"What are you sorry for?" Jimin chuckles. "You made no mistakes."

You flinch at the word, god, you hate it. "Okay, can we not call that a mistake?" you blurt out before you can even process what you said. Oh shit.

Jimin cocks his head. "What would you want to call it then?"

Ohhh, you fucked up, Y/N.

"I dunno... A... A?" You're stuck. You're screwed. You're roasted. "Um --"

HONK! BEEP! SCREECH! And an angry: "DRIVE, ASSHOLE!" saves you.

Multiple impatient people are slamming their palms hard on their wheels, erupting a shit ton of raucous noise in the evening air.

"It's a green light, go!" you shriek, laughing as your teacher hurriedly smashes his foot down on the excel.

Both of you are still laughing by the time Jimin pulls up on your driveway.

"So, an asshole now, aren't you?" you joke, snorting.

Jimin huffs. "People are so impatient!" He turns to you, grinning slightly. "But that's me included. Now, where were we? Something about 'not a mistake?'" he teases lightly.

Your face starts to flush an ugly shade of rose. "Just don't call it that!" you exclaim. "What else am I supposed to say? It was the best kiss I've ever had? Huh?"

It takes you a moment to process what you'd just said. Y/N, are you fucking kidding me.

Now it's Jimin's turn to flush pink. "Best kiss?" he says softly.

"O-oh, um... Actually..." You can't even deny it though. Granted, you've only ever had one other kiss in your life and that too, was with your goddamn teacher.

"Do you... hm..." Jimin trails off, hands still gripping the steering wheel as he refuses to make eye contact with you. "Do you... feel the same as me?"

You make a face. "What kind of vague question is that? How am I supposed to know how you feel? If I knew, I would've either cried from rejection or cried from happiness already!"

Jimin cocks his head, eyes still trained to look in front of him, not at you. "Damn," he mutters to himself.

"Damn straight!" you exclaim, getting weirdly worked up. "You know the fuck what? Let's say I do feel the same as you. Would you be glad or happy?"

"Aren't they synonyms?" Jimin asks, a small grin on his face.

You huff. "You're such an asshole! Glad, if you don't like me. Happy, if you like me back! Isn't it obvious?"

Suddenly, Jimin whirls around, facing you straight and grinning like a madman. Startled, you lean back. "Like you back? You like me?"

Oh, fuck. You forgot how much of a nervous blabbermouth you are. You sigh. Actually, you know the fuck what? What have I got to lose?

"Fine, you goddamn asshole. I like you," you blurt out. Immediately, your whole body feels so much lighter as if your confession had just lifted fifty pounds off your chest. So logically, you continue on.

"It's probably illegal for you to like me back so I won't even ask if you return my feelings. Ugh. I swear to fucking god I've been such a miserable little shit ever since we stopped talking. You're an asshole for avoiding me, you know that? And a dumbass for calling the best moment of my whole life a fucking mistake." You pause for a deep breath, nearly choking on air doing so. "But who am I kidding... You're no asshole or dumbass," you sigh, massaging your forehead as you squeeze your eyes shut.

"You're amazing, smart, a workaholic, yes, but also a caring friend and teacher... I just—" You quickly bury your face in your hands. "I'm not crying, I just lost my train of thought," you say, your voice slightly muffled. Sniffling, you continue. "You make me just... lose my fucking words. You make me blabber like a goddamn second grader! You make me cuss so much, goddammit!"

You hear Jimin's low chuckle and jerk your head up, glaring through your teary eyes.

"Y/N, Y/N!" Jimin chuckles. "Are you really blaming your foul mouth on me?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Park Jimin?" you rage. "I just confessed my whole heart out and that's the first thing you say?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just—" Jimin laughs. "You're so adorable. I'd pay good money to see you confess to me again."

Your eyebrow twitches in annoyance... maybe even humiliation, you don't know anymore. Aggressively, you wipe away the tears welled up in your eyes and look away.

"Y/N?"

You pretend you can't hear.

"Y/N."

What was that? Must be some bird --

"Y/N!"

An angry bird at that...

"Yoon Y/N!" A hand grabs your arm, forcing you to look at the man you really didn't like at the moment. (Despite the fact you're literally whipped for him.)

You expect Jimin to apologize for being an ass, but to your surprise, he laughs. Okay, this bitch!

"I'm sorry, sorry, Y/N!" Jimin giggles. "I swear I'm not laughing at you. I'm just... I can't believe -- I like you too!" he blurts out.

What.

What.

What.

What the FUCK?

"YOU ASSHOLE!" you shout, shaking your arm away from Jimin's grip. "YOU MADE ME CONFESS LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT!"

Your teacher laughs again. "On my defense, I didn't think you were going to blurt out a confession. Besides, you don't have any idea how much pain I've been in, thinking you didn't feel the same. I'm laughing because of the irony! I'm not laughing at you, Y/N!"

You huff. "You're lucky I like you so much. Or else I would've shanked you."

Jimin scoffs. "You? Shank me? Please, Y/N, you're half my size."

"Oh, we're roasting each other now? Okay, fine. Who's the one who can't, for the life of him, keep his hands to himself when he's drunk, hm?" you say, proudly.

"That doesn't work anymore, Y/N. I think I'm safe to say that day I kissed you drunk was the best mistake I've ever made," Jimin announces, grinning widely.

You flout. "Asshole."

"But you know you like me."

"Oh, shut up or else... or else..." you trail off, "or elSE I'M GOING TO INVITE YOU IN THE HOUSE! HA!"

Jimin bursts out laughing. "Not really a threat, but I full-heartedly accept."

Something in your chest explodes at that moment—it's a burst of emotions, warm, fuzzy and cordial. You've got to admit, Jimin is an asshole. Too bad you're whipped for him—and he's whipped for you.

"I haven't been here in forever," Jimin chuckles as he enters your house. "Thanks for inviting me in," he teases, reminding you of your stupid outburst earlier. You scowl as your face flushes a brighter shade of red.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you mumble as you throw your backpack on the couch and head towards the kitchen. "Wanna eat anything?"

"Not in particular," your teacher answers, sliding into one of the kitchen seats. He places his elbows on the marble counter and rests his chin on his folded hands, looking at you in a way that has your heart leaping around in your rib cage.

Fuck. You don't know how long you can contain your happiness, literally feeling as if you'll burst out screaming that your crush likes you back in any second.

"Suit yourself," you murmur calmly, swinging open the refrigerator door and hiding your flushed face behind it. "Get yourself together, bitch," you whisper to yourself, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath to calm your palpitating heart. Then, you put on a confident face, grabbing a bowl of pre-washed strawberries and shutting the refrigerator door.

"Actually, do you happen to have gum?" Jimin asks once you set the bowl of strawberries down on the table counter.

"Gum?" Your eyebrows raise.

"Yeah, mint gum."

Strange request, but okay.

"Uh, yeah," you reply, quickly opening a drawer to take out a pack of your favorite mint gum and tossing it whole to Jimin. He catches it midair with unsurprising finesse, unwrapping a piece and placing it in his mouth before looking up and smiling at you. His smile literally kills you.

I must be dreaming. There's no way all of this just happened. There's no way—

"So... what now?" Jimin asks, chewing on his gum thoughtfully. "We like each other but what happens after that?"

His bluntness makes you blush ever harder as you quickly pick up a strawberry and shove it in your mouth to prevent yourself from blurting out anything imbecilic. While slowly chewing on it, you give yourself some time to think.

What does happen now? What do you do if the person you like, likes you back? Hell, this isn't even a normal case—this boy, man, if you will, is my goddamn teacher.

After intense contemplation, you swallow the last of the strawberry and speak your very well put together answer: "I don't know."

Jimin blows a bubble with his gum, popping it somehow gracefully as he chuckles. "Well, you should know something. It's kind of illegal for us to be together—I don't know the exact laws but I'm pretty sure somewhere in the teacher handbook there's something about not having relationships with students..." he trails off. "But technically, if no one finds out, we won't get in trouble." He gives you a suggestive look, wiggling his eyebrows.

You burst out laughing. "Oh my god, Jimin—you're just so..."

"So... what?" he teases, scooching closer to your smaller frame.

"So... I dunno... Didn't I tell you? You make me lose all sense of the English language," you pout slightly, turning out your lips as you give Jimin a look. "And I have a fucking A+ in that class too."

"You're adorable," he comments, leaning in to ruffle your hair. And he doesn't pull away. Instead, his eyes linger around your lips, making you very, very self-conscious about them.

"A-Are you going to kiss me?" you whisper without thinking, your warm breath hitting Jimin's lips. Lips that curve up into a faint smile.

"Do you want me to?" His warm, minty breath makes you feel like you're floating in the soft clouds in Heaven but you manage to stay sane.

"I dunno... I mean, yeah? Wait, maybe. Actually..." you stop yourself before you stutter even more. His question had caught you so off-guard you didn't even know what to say.

"I'm taking that as a yes," Jimin mutters, his lips slightly grazing yours. You lean for more contact when—

"Wait, lemme spit out my gum real quick."

What.

You watch, slightly horrified as Jimin just sticks his chewed, mint gum on his finger. He looks like he has no intention of walking over to the trash can to throw it away.

"Sorry," Jimin says, giving you a sheepish smile as he cups your cheek with the hand that doesn't have the gum stuck on it. "Just wanted to have minty breath."

You roll your eyes. "For what?" It's a dumb question and you know it. You don't even expect an answer—and you don't get one.

Jimin quickly leans in, his lips meeting yours halfway. It's a small, chaste peck that barely gives you a chance to taste the mint on his tongue. But you're not complaining. Not when things are unfolding like this.

"If I haven't made it extremely obvious already, Yoon Y/N, I like you," Jimin mutters, breath hitting your cheek as he softly kisses it.

That comment alone has your stomach twisting around in knots. Blushing, you manage to reply a shaky: "You and me both, Jimin."

He chuckles, giving your lips another little peck before he pulls back, fondly admiring your face. "You have no idea how long I've liked you."

Feeling a surge of confidence, you slowly wrap your arms around Jimin's neck, giving him a smile. "Try me. Bet I've liked you for longer."

"Oh? Is it a competition now?" He leans in to kiss you, and this one lingers around on your lips just a tad bit more—actually, quite literally since he hasn't pulled back yet.

"Isn't it always?" you respond against his lips. Finally, finally, finally! you can taste the mint on his tongue as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. It's less like an explosive feeling of euphoria and more like a feeling of something slow, sensual and loving.

Jimin hums, moving forward to press you against the back of your chair, making sure every part of your body's touching his.

You've never really been a smooth talker—no fucking surprise—so you're very much glad you can express yourself with your actions. And Jimin, that little bitch, he's a somewhat of a smooth talker and an obvious connoisseur of kissing.

You melt against his body, his lips suckling yours as his fingers tangle in your hair. Honestly, you could stay like this forever—this warmth, this feeling, this silence. Dare you say this feeling was better than scoring hundred's on your tests—

But of course, things never go smoothly when you're involved.

With a loud gasp, you slightly pull away from the kiss, frowning. "Jimin, your hands..."

"What about them, baby girl?" he coos, leaning in to kiss you again.

"No, your hands, Jimin. They're in my hair," you say slowly, brows furrowing. God, no.

"Yes, baby, they are," Jimin says, staring at you as if you've just lost it. "Has my kissing really made you lose your head?" he jokes.

Oh my god. It looks like you just have to go out and say it then—

You close your eyes, deeply sighing. "You had gum on your finger, Jimin. It's in my hair, isn't it?"

"OH SHIT!"

You ended up having to cut a strand of your hair.

Yeah, thanks to your new fucking boyfriend, not only did you get a (quite literal) taste of his romantics, you also got his chewed up gum in your hair. How! Great!

But are you complaining? Not really.

Not when you're cuddled up with him on the couch and it feels more cordial than home itself. You can't believe you, the most pragmatic person you know, is literally playing around with stupid platitudes, but you might as well just found home with him.

You look at the cylindrical bottle with disdain, lips pulled out in a full pout. Picking up the concealer with a maximum of two fingers (to minimize the surface area you touch), you turn around to glare at your boyfriend who's watching you with adoration in his eyes.

"I don't even wear makeup," you whine for the hundredth time. "This is all your fucking fault, Park."

"Hey, hey!" Jimin raises up his hands in defense, giving you a sheepish look. "I quite remember that you liked it when it was happening... Oh, JiMiN, yEaH rIghT tHeRe!" He gives you a shit-eating grin.

You're blushing even harder than before, rolling your eyes and huffing. "Shut the fuck up."

"Now, now, that's no way to talk to your dear teacher, Y/N," Jimin teases. He walks over to you (you were very adamantly scrutinizing your bruised neck) and he wraps his arms around you. "If it helps, I can help you apply it?" He rubs his face into the soft material of your loose hoodie.

You groan. "Fine. You better know shit about makeup because I sure don't."

"We can learn," Jimin answers as he spins you around and takes the concealer from you. "What's learning without a few failures?"

Two hours later and half a bottle of concealer wasted, you're looking at your covered up neck in the mirror with satisfaction. "I feel like if your clumsy ass hadn't spilled the concealer halfway through, we would've finished earlier," you tease, poking Jimin's cheek affectionately.

Jimin scowls, checking his watch as he sulks. "It's only half-past four... We can still have our date at the park."

You smile as your boyfriend grabs your hand, tugging you towards the front door. "Of course... But hey, can we be back by seven? I have this test tomorrow—"

Jimin laughs, squeezing your hand. "Without a doubt... nerd," he mutters the last bit under his breath.

"What did you call me?" Your brows furrow up and you glare at Jimin.

"Oh, just the ray of sunshine in my dark, muddy life."

Conversations have never been your cup of tea. Sure, finding the root-mean-square-deviation was a piece of cake—or writing a literary analysis on The House of Mirth didn't even make you break out in a sweat. But conversations... That shit's hard.

There's so much you want to say, so much you'd like to share. But you have to factor in the others' reactions to your words to make sure you're not saying something rude or offensive. God, things are so much easier when you're just talking to yourself.

"No, but I really think mermaids are real!" you huff. "We didn't think of the possibilities of the oarfish or the deep sea hatchetfish or the fucking viperfish until we found them, you know! 95% of the ocean is undiscovered, alright? Mermaids are out there!"

"It's scientifically impossible!" Jimin huffs, squeezing your interlocked hands.

"Park, a shit ton of things were called 'scientifically impossible' before they were proven to be quite feasible," you sigh, patting Jimin's shoulder. "Admit it, Jimin, mermaids are real."

"Oh, c'mon, Y/N. I thought you were a woman of practicality!"

"What's more to it than you thought wrong?" you giggle. "Mermaids probably exist! What if I told you I'm a mermaid, huh? Would you run away?"

Jimin rolls his eyes. "You're impossible."

"Much so like the so-called non-existent mermaids," you pipe up, giving your boyfriend a shit-eating grin.

"Y/N, I'm literally so ready to—FUCK, DUCK!" Jimin yells, turning your body around and pulling your hood over your head and dipping his face into the small space under the hood as if he was trying to hide both of your identities.

"What? Huh? What's wrong?" you whisper, face flushing from the close proximity between you and Jimin.

"Holy shit, we shouldn't have come to a local park, holy shit!" Jimin murmurs, hands shaking as he wraps his arms around you, tugging you closer.

"Who are we hiding from? What?" you hiss. "Jimin, what's wrong?"

"Students!" he hisses right back.

The blood flowing in your veins runs cold and your freeze before you start to hyperventilate. "Students?" you repeat in horror, barely believing it yourself until you see them through a small space between the hood and Jimin. "Fuck! Oh, shit! Fuckshitholyhell, they're coming, oh my god, oh MY GOD—"

Before you can scream and blow your cover, Jimin's lips are on yours, face dipped further into your hood as he kisses you softly. You're too shocked to say anything, only to respond by moving your lips against his, steadying the hood over both of your faces with heavy precaution.

He only pulls away when you're 110% sure you're tomato-red and panting for air. "What... was that for?" you ask, breathless.

Jimin grins. "To play the part of a romantic couple having their date at the park. No one looks twice at a couple engrossed in PDA," he murmurs. "They're gone, by the way."

"Oh thank the LORD! We should really—mmf!"

Jimin's lips crash down on yours for the second time that day, stopping you mid-sentence, again. You're not even mad—although PDA was something you always hated (being a watcher), you never thought how exciting it would be on the other side of it.

Or maybe Jimin's just a good kisser. There's something about how his lips tug and release, how there's just the right amount of affection and the way he makes you want to literally glue your lips onto his for eternity. (Ignore the last part that's borderline creepy.) But for real though. He's so perfect.

You sigh into the kiss, hands tugging on Jimin's shirt as he kisses you harder in response. The sounds, the taste, the feeling puts you on cloud nine, and you barely even notice when your hood falls down from the force of which he's kissing you.

And when both of you pull away for air, his nose still lightly pressed against yours as he pants softly, you can't help but grin so wide it physically hurts. Both of you catch your breaths together.

"I'm kinda glad this played out like this," you mutter, nuzzling your head into Jimin's chest.

"Today's date... or us as a couple?" Jimin chuckles kissing the top of your head.

"Both, of course."

Jimin laughs lightly. "You know, you can't really scientifically prove that mermaids exist, but I sure can scientifically prove that we're meant for each other."

"God, Park. That was another level of greasy," you tease as Jimin flushes furiously. "I'd like to see you try one day... With all that scientific evidence."

Your boyfriend just smiles, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he tugs you close into his arms. "Why don't we test my hypothesis out right now?"

You don't even get to answer because his lips are on yours.

Who would've fucking thought?

It's crazy how that night your teacher had drunkenly kissed you, both of your fates had been sealed. You would've never thought in a million years that you'd be so emotionally and physically attached to another being that wasn't Jin.

But here you are. With Jimin. How he looks at you when he thinks you're sleeping. How he tucks in a loose strand of your hair behind your ear so he can softly kiss your closed eyelids. How he hugs you so tight in the privacy of his cozy living room. How he loves it when you play with the silky locks of his hair and how you love it that Jimin's all you can really think about.

You're crazy for him—to the point you wonder if it's even healthy. But rest assured, you know he's crazy for you too.

Every single moment the two of you meet, your heart feels full, your shining smile never leaves your face and your eyes twinkle from sheer mirth.

Yes, he's your teacher, out of your league, almost a decade older than you. But you really don't care. Age is only a number and a teacher is only an occupation.

It could sound wrong at first glance—a teacher and his student in a loving relationship. Yet you can't really stop two people from being together, right?

Besides, life with Jimin as your boyfriend is good. Great. Amazing. Too good to be true. Ineffable.

Dates are never a problem. Underneath his nerdy persona, Jimin is a romantic freak. He's learned a thing or two from the pile of Nicholas Sparks novels he keeps under his bed. In turn, he's also learned a lot of cliché but romantic endeavors. Which is exactly why you've been stuck in the car for the past five hours, driving to the goddamn beach at an ungodly time of day.

"Jiminie," you whine, shifting positions in the cramped shotgun seat of the car for the umpteenth time. "Are we there yet?"

"God, Y/N, you've been asking that every five minutes!" Jimin laughs. "We're almost there."

"That's what you said three hours ago," you sigh, stretching your feet out. "Why did we have to go to a beach so far away, huh? And so early, jeez, it's literally five in the morning, and we started this road trip at midnight!"

"Oh c'mon, you know the answer to that." Jimin gives you a sideways, knowing glance. "We can't have any students interrupting our date—unless you're into that kind of stuff."

You snort, shaking your head. "Still doesn't explain why we hit the roads so early."

"You'll see." Jimin smiles, taking his eyes off the road for a quick second as he looks at you with adoration. You can't help to shut up when he looks at you like that. Come to think of it, you think Jimin knows that that look is the only way that'll get you to stop talking. He's using it against you. That little bi—

Your stomach growls loudly, interrupting your own thoughts. It's that kind of growl that sounds like a mixture between a fucking fart and a burp. The most embarrassing kind, of course. There's an awkward silence that follows and then, laughter. Jimin's snorting, slapping his thigh with one hand as the other keeps the wheel steady while you're cackling like a goddamn hyena (you've never been blessed with a pretty laugh).

The situation wasn't even that funny. In fact, you felt like a sixth-grader again, giggling at immature shit all the time. But it must be the tiredness talking—er, laughing.

"Well you're hungry, aren't you?" Jimin manages to say, attempting to steady his breaths.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," you choke out, grabbing your gurgling stomach to shut it up. "Are we there yet?"

"Oh my GOD, Y/N," Jimin laughs again. He takes the liberty to literally reach over and pat your head. "You're acting like a goddamn child. Like I'm dating a kid."

You pause to think. "Okay but technically, you are kinda dating a child," you say, stifling a small yawn. "What a pedo."

Your boyfriend scoffs but grins. "Hey, hey, hey!" he protests, "just because you're a minor doesn't mean you're a child. Besides, aren't you turning 18 soon?"

"Eh, late birthday," you reply, shrugging. "I'm turning 18 in August."

"Well fuck, Y/N," Jimin sighs. "What are you so young for?" He shakes his head disapprovingly.

You roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? What the fuck are you so old for?"

"Excuse me, 24 ain't that old," Jimin pouts, lips pulling out so plumply that you have the sudden urge to kiss them. "It just seems old in comparison to 17!"

"Whatever you say... grandpa."

"I'm one word away from driving five hours back where we came from," Jimin teases, making you shut up right away. "That's more like it. We're almost there, anyways. Just in time too."

"Just in time for what? We better make this quick. You know, before Jin finds out that we've both vanished without a single text," you say.

"Relax, Y/N, you and I both know that Jin likes to sleep in 'til two during the weekends. We'll be on a time crunch, but it'll be fine," Jimin answers, shrugging.

You pout like a petulant child. "But just in time for what?"

"Oh! What do you know? We're here!" Jimin exclaims, flat-out ignoring you and your sulking ass. "I'll get the beach towels, you stay right here!" Your boyfriend excitedly opens the car door, rushing to the back of his trunk to rummage through the supplies.

"Hmph." You cross your arms, a bit pissed that Jimin won't tell you shit, especially when you're not the biggest fan of surprises. It's still slightly dark outside since the sun is barely peeking over the beach horizon. Which reminds you that you should be in bed, sleeping.

Oh well. Jimin time is worth sleep time.

"For you, m'lady."

Suddenly your side of the car door opens with Jimin behind it, grinning widely at you. He's holding that typical picnic bitch basket and that basic beach mat for couples. Then, you look down to see a fucking red carpet, starting from the parked car all the way to the sand.

"What the fuck."

"Why? Do you not like it?" Jimin asks, brows creasing in worry as you express your shell-shock.

"No... I love it. It's just. Damn. I'm just impressed..." you trail off. "You did all of this for me."

"Why wouldn't I?" Jimin grins, holding out his hand for you to take. "C'mon, let's walk down the red carpet."

You giggle, taking your boyfriend's warm hand as you giddily hop out of his car. "What did I do to get the honor of walking down this special carpet?"

"Well, for one, you miraculously survived this five-hour road trip. And two, you're dating me, a well-known celebrity, so you get privileges," Jimin teases, poking your cheek as he starts to guide you down the colored rug.

"Celebrity my ass," you snort. But you pull your body closer to Jimin's as he protectively wraps his arm around your figure.

Jimin chuckles. "Well if I ever become a famous rapper, my name should be Statz, you know, for statistics."

"Yeah, sure, and people will drop their asses to your passionate rapping about the wonders of the z-score table," you giggle. "I see you more as a dancer. You've got the body."

"Oh?" Jimin quirks his eyebrows. "Been looking at my ~body~?" he asks suggestively.

"Shut up, I'm underage," you snort, hitting his chest. "Besides, I catch you looking at me all the time. Don't act so innocent, grandpa."

"Okay, we're both guilty then," Jimin smirks, squeezing your intertwined hands before letting go. "Hey, look at that, we're just in time." He smiles, spreading out the beach mat and placing the picnic basket in the middle.

The soft sound of the waves and the salty breeze helps you relax. But the silhouette of your boyfriend setting up a romantic scene for you keeps your heart beating madly.

"We're watching the sunrise," you whisper, your voice coming out as a small squeak.

"Yup. Took you long enough," Jimin quips, grinning as he helps you sit down on the soft mat. "Just you, me and the sunrise, you know?"

You smile, snuggling into his warm arms. "It's perfect."

"Okay, good, 'cause I kinda might've forgotten to put food in the picnic basket... not to ruin the mood or anything. Ugh, I knew I was forgetting something but I didn't know what it was until I picked up the goddamn basket from the trunk and was like 'oh shit, it's fucking empty' and panicked. But I was like, nah, I should just bring it for show, makes it more romantic, right? So here we are with an empty picnic basket," Jimin rambles, scratching the back of his head nervously. "I hope you don't get hungry."

You laugh lightly, reaching for Jimin's hand to console him. "Hey, it really doesn't matter. My stomach should learn to take hunger once in a while."

"It's still perfect?" Jimin asks tentatively.

"Ineffably perfect," you murmur, leaning back against your boyfriend's chest to look out at the scenery. "Think the sunrise's starting."

And it was. You and Jimin sit in silence as vibrant colors of yellow and orange slowly mix with rich shades of magenta, painting the most beautiful canvas; the morning sky.

You're in awe with the beauty, living in the tranquil moment.

Then you hear a soft whisper. "I love you."

Your eyes turn wide and you gasp quietly, whipping your head up to see Jimin looking away from you.

"W-What?" you manage to say.

Even though it's still slightly dark, you can see the blush creeping up on Jimin's cheeks as he whispers again. "I... I think I love you, Y/N."

Now you're flushing all shades of red as your heart threatens to burst out of your chest. He loves me. He loves me! HE LOVES ME! You don't know what to say, what to do, what to think.

"W-What?" is all you can utter. Quite stupidly.

"Y/N, I..." Jimin sighs, looking you in the eye, "I love you."

You're in shock. Never have you ever been confessed to. Never have you ever been exposed to this kind of romance. Never have you loved someone to this extent either. There's a first time for everything.

And so you muster up all the courage running through your veins, clear your parched throat (when had it become so dry?) as you look right into your boyfriend's twinkling eyes. Jimin smiles, squeezing your hand. "Yeah. I love you," he repeats, surely, confidently.

You smile back, leaning in to place a chaste kiss against his lips. "You and me both."

You don't wanna sound like you're from a fucking fairytale or some shit, but damn you really think you got your happily ever after.

Yeah, like every princess out there you're practically an orphan, but you're surrounded by the most caring and loving bunch of people ever. And plus, you have your prince. Prince Jimin. (Why the fuck does that have a nice ring to it???)

But anyways, you basically have it all: a loving boyfriend, a hearty group of friends, an affectionate cousin and some impossibly immaculate grades. Now you kinda get why some people say they peaked in high school. You'll probably end up the same... yikes.

And acknowledging that, you know you've got to use the most of this peak in your life. You've been going out on frequent dates with Jimin (telling Jin they were math club meetings) and hanging out with Taehyung, Yoongi and Jungkook at school.

Now it's not so much of a struggle to be happy. And your happiness shows.

It's funny how putting a smile on your face can change a lot. You're no longer a turtle dwelling in her thick shell. You're no longer afraid of befriending people. You're no longer afraid of getting hurt because you have people to help you back up on your feet. You've put yourself out there, waved to a few people, exchanged salutations. And now, it seemed as if everyone knew and liked you.

"Hi, Y/N!"

"Hey, girl, what's up?"

"Y/N! Hey!"

"How did your philosophy presentation go?"

"How are you?"

"Damn something good happen today?"

The last one was Taehyung, suggestively moving his eyebrows up and down as he nudges your side. No doubt teasing you.

"Ooh, did Jungkook... confess?" Yoongi mock gasps, placing a delicate hand over his mouth.

You roll your eyes. "No, I'm just..." You huff. "I dunno, do I really need a reason to be happy?"

"Well then, do you need a reason to be so sassy?" Taehyung shoots back, chuckling.

"Excuse me, I wasn't being sassy!" you argue, crossing your arms. "Yoongs, help me out here!"

"I agree, she really wasn't," Yoongi chuckles, bobbing his head up and down in approval as you smile. "Sass is just ingrained in her personality, duh."

Your jaw drops open at the sheer betrayal. "What the fuck."

"Oh, how could I have forgotten?" Taehyung laughs as you glare daggers into him. "Kinda forgot the second definition of 'sass' is 'Y/N.' Think I read it on the Merriam-Wattster dictionary before. Right Yoongs?"

"Right. All that SAT vocab practice last year really got to us, huh?"

"Guys, guys, be nice to Y/N!" Jungkook interrupts, literally appearing out of thin air as he casually swings his arms around Taehyung and Yoongi. You're inwardly glad that Kook's here to save you from your suffering.

"Hey, you always pick Y/N's side!" Taehyung pouts. He crosses his arms against his chests and leans against Yoongi. "It's soooo unfair."

The shorter male snorts, playfully pushing the taller off of him. "Yeah, I fucking wonder why."

"I'm so sick of both of your sarcasm," you announce, throwing your hands up in defeat. "But whatever." You turn to smile at Jungkook. "Hey, Kook. Any plans after school today?"

Jungkook immediately perks up, grinning from ear to ear. "No, why?"

"Well I dunno, I was wondering if we can go to the bowling alley," you say, scratching your head shyly. You're not usually one to initiate any hangout, leaving Jungkook absolutely shocked.

"U-Us?" He asks, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

"Yeah, the four of us, you know? Why are you so surprised?" you giggle, nervously twisting strands of your hair. "Not good at bowling?"

Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head as he stands up straight and tall. "Uh no. I'll have you know that I used to take bowling lessons. Prepare your ass to be run over by the professional."

"Mhm, sure." You nod your head, voice dripping with pure sarcasm. "Bet. Loser buys dinner."

"You're on. Yoongs? Tae?" Jungkook asks. He turns to his friends who look at him disapprovingly.

"Hold up, we never agreed to this!" Yoongi complains as his face wrinkles in distraught. "Save me and my empty wallet!"

"Same, I'm kinda a broke fuck sooo..." Taehyung trails off.

"Fine. We all play then. But whoever scores the lowest between Jungkook and I will pay. Good?" you dictate as your competitive and slightly bossy side takes over.

"Perfect as usual," Jungkook sings as he swings his arm around you. "I'm thinking lobster night, what about you guys? And we'll thank Y/N in advance for the meal since I'm so gonna win."

You feel his warm arm around your shoulder, and instinctively, you lean in. His figure is warm against your side, his proximity letting you smell his fresh, clean scent. "Watch it, Kook. Don't make promises you can't keep," you chirp, smirking confidently. "I know a great lobster place downtown. Hella overpriced, but totally worth it. We'll go there."

"Great! It's all set then," Taehyung says, clapping his hands. "I'm practically drooling already!"

"I love freeloading off of my besties!" Yoongi chimes in, a great grin tattooed on his face.

"Don't worry you're not freeloading completely. You'll pay for dessert," Jungkook chuckles, momentarily taking his arm off of you as he slaps his friend's back. The shorter male grumbles unintelligible things, glaring daggers into Jungkook.

"Hold up, I just have to tell my cousin not to wait for me after school," you say, fishing out your phone as Jungkook slips his casual arm off of you. "Or else he'll worry and call the fire department, the police, the navy and the fucking president."

"Your cousin? The Kim Seokjin?" Taehyung says in awe as his eyes turn glassy. "He's so hot."

"Hey!" Yoongi protests, elbowing Taehyung in the stomach. If you didn't know any better, you'd say he looked hella jealous. "I mean... er, that's very inappropriate to say to your teacher!"

The last remark makes your face burn hot, (considering you've done worse with your teacher) so you quickly attempt to cover it by ducking your head down to dial Jin.

Your cousin answers in three rings. "Y/N????" he practically screeches. Even an idiot could tell he was worried, almost as if you called to break some bad news to him. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, hi," you chirp calmly. "No nothing's wrong I—"

"Oh thank god," Jin sighs into the phone. You slightly flinch as you hear a front-row sample of your cousin's dramatic breath. "So what's up?"

"Uh, yeah well, listen, Jin, you don't have to pick me up today after school. I'm going out with a couple of friends."

"Come again? Friends?? What frie—o-oh, uh, I mean, really? Um yeah, have fun then and be safe!" Jin slightly stutters.

"Excuse me, what do you mean, what friends? I have friends. A lot of them!" you announce, frowning. You grip your phone with two hands, lowering your voice: "I mean, now I do."

Jin laughs on the other line. "Mhm. Alrighty, Y/N. But for real, have fun and be safe, okay?"

"You know I will!"

"Good. Make sure to be with your friends at all times! Don't go wandering off on your own okay? Do you have enough money? When and where should I pick you up? Huh? Y/N?" Jin frowns he deattaches his phone from his ear. What the heck, you had just stopped talking. But that's when he realizes you'd ended the call quite some time ago.

Your cousin scoffs, shaking his head. He assumes you must've been so excited and ended the call early. A grin blossoms on his tired face. He can't remember the last time you had hung out with other people other than him and Jimin. Jin's glad that things are looking up for you—and he hopes things will stay that way.

"Did I ever mention how proud I am of you?" Jimin whispers. He nudges you softly as your cheeks slowly turn into a pale shade of pink from sheer contact with your boyfriend.

Scribbling down the last few words of your literature essay, you smile, resting your head against Jimin's shoulder. "I think this is the tenth time today, actually." You feel so safe by his side, perched on a chair pulled up by his desk. It's almost as if his classroom is your second home since you spend so much time with him in there. "But you can say that a million more times and I won't ever mind hearing it again."

Jimin laughs heartily, eyes scrunching up beautifully and lips pulling apart gorgeously. "God, I love you." He leans in to peck your lips lightly, sending your head soaring ten miles up the sky. The warmth of his mouth on yours lingers even after he pulls away, and you reach to touch your own lips to chase the heat.

"I love you too," you giggle, "aren't you glad I didn't say 'you and me both' this time?"

"Well, in your defense, you really didn't know it was common etiquette to say it back. Besides 'you and me both' can be our thing, you know? It can be just as romantic as saying 'I love you too,' " Jimin swoons, caressing your cheek with a gentle hand.

"I actually like that idea," you say, reaching up to ruffle Jimin's soft, black hair. "Say you love me again, please?"

"Jeez, am I starting to get you into clichés?" Jimin chuckles, leaning into your delicate touch. "I love you, alright?"

You snuggle up against your boyfriend's warmth, giggling as you take his hand in yours. "You and me both, Jimin."

Your boyfriend can't help but grin wildly at you. And you return his grin, flirtatiously batting your lashes to tease him. Subconsciously, your tongue darts out of your mouth, slowly wetting your lips. Jimin watches your every movement, eyes narrowing as his breathing slows.

Before you can say another word, his warm hands grasp your thighs, hoisting you up onto his desk leaving his papers flying across all corners of the room.

You squeak in surprise, gripping on Jimin's button-up shirt. "What the fuck, Jimin? You're so clum—"

You're interrupted when his lips come crashing down on yours, his hands coming up to caress the sides of your face as you rest your hands in his hair. Deciding to tease your boyfriend a bit, you part your lips only slightly, which Jimin takes as an invitation to attempt to slip his tongue through. But he soon finds out the small space between your plump, kissed lips is just not enough.

You giggle, satisfied with your teasing as Jimin becomes visibly frustrated. He whines, mouth still on yours as he pushes your bodies hard against each other. But you refuse to give in. Your boyfriend's hands fly down to your thighs, gripping them hard. "Stop teasing," he mutters breathlessly into your mouth.

His hands are leaving warm imprints on your legs, and you revel in the feeling, softly kissing the corner of Jimin's lips. "Or what? Do you have an event planned or something?" you say smartly.

You literally swear on your perfect grades that you hear Jimin fucking growl. You're still contemplating if you're dating a goddamn wolf or not when your back is roughly pushed back on the wooden desk. You yelp in shock, forced to peer up to see Jimin, smirking as he hovers over you. "Yes, I do quite have an event planned," he teases right back.

Now you can't help but stare at him with hooded eyes. It's almost as if you forgot that you were human, a fucking student, for goodness' sake. Your actions seem animalistic, full of something people would call lust.

Jimin's careful not to crush you with the weight of his body as he leans in to kiss you again. This time, you let his tongue slip through your parted lips.

There are no thoughts in your head. Only the feeling that you need to be closer to Jimin, that you're not close enough to him, even though he is practically on top of you. You can feel your temperature soaring up as his mouth devours yours in a deep, passionate way. He tastes like mint, your favorite.

"Jimin..." you sigh, legs intertwining with his as you firmly grip the front of his shirt.

You don't know if your boyfriend took that as some sort of sign, or if he was getting too hot, but the next thing you know, he's starting to unbutton the white collared shirt. You don't mind at all.

Instead, you tug Jimin's head closer to yours, deepening the fiery kiss and sending heat coursing through your veins. Both of you don't need to pause for breath as if the lack of oxygen would never keep you apart.

Jimin's still fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, and you contemplate breaking the kiss to help him out. But his lips are so warm on yours, moving in sync while pulling and parting. Without realizing, you let out a little moan. Normally, you'd be embarrassed, but you were too occupied to care. Besides, no doubt Jimin heard; his fingers were moving faster than ever, trying to discard his tight shirt off of his body. Something you have nothing to complain about—

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

You break the long kiss apart, not to breathe, but to scream. Fuck. You can recognize that (shrill) voice anywhere.

There your fucking cousin was, standing in the doorway. He looks like as if he's been to and survived the goddamn Western Front back in World War I. And you kind of know why.

For one, you're still pinned under Jimin in a vulnerable (rather unflattering) position. Your face is flushed, lips swelled an angry red and clothes beyond what a normal iron can fix. Jimin's shirt is three-quarters unbuttoned, revealing his abs to the wrong person at the wrong time.

It looks fucking bad. And both of you know it.

Jimin's the first to react, scrambling to get off from atop of you and fumbling to button up his shirt. "J-Jin! We er... I mean, I thought you were gonna be in a meeting for two more hours!"

Your cousin is silent as if he was still taking in the atrocious scene. You're in a hurry to fix your hair and clothes, avoiding eye contact to save your own ass. Jin was going to burst out screaming any second now and you and Jimin both knew it.

"MY COUSIN???? AND MY BEST FRIEND?????" Jin hollers as predicted. His forehead vein protrudes unattractively as his eyes bulge out.

You and Jimin both flinch back, you gripping Jimin's arm for support out of instinct. Jin catches the action and screams: "NO! DON'T TOUCH HIM! DON'T TOUCH HER! WHAT THE—I-I—THIS IS — OH MY GOD ILLEGAL—WHAT THE ACTUAL F—"

Your poor cousin is a blubbering, shrieking mess. And honestly, you can't blame him. You and Jimin had started slacking off, being quite careless when it came to public displays of affection. It was both of your faults that your cousin had found out like this.

You helplessly look at Jimin in hopes for some sort of comfort, but upon looking at his scared face, you realize how much trouble you were actually in.

"WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS AT HOME. GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. OHMYF—" Jin abruptly stops his yelling to massage his head. "Oh my god," he breathes. "We're going home."

Jimin looks at you, eyes reflecting pure fear as he wordlessly begs you to ride in his car. You're just as frightened, not knowing what your unpredictable cousin would say or do. Would he make you break up with Jimin? Would he ban you from seeing your boyfriend again? Force you to move schools?

Nevertheless, you're about to nod to agree when Jin turns around, glaring at both of you. "Y/N, you're coming with me. Jimin, I'll see you in the living room in five minutes."

Your cousin grabs your arm, dragging you away from your boyfriend who still looks shellshocked. You don't blame him. This had not ended the way you thought it would.

The last thing you see before you're pulled out of the classroom is Jimin raking his hand through his hair in frustration, mouthing the words, "We're fucking screwed."

It does nothing to calm your nerves.

—previous | next

—masterlist