#ugh i literally don’t know how im gonna stay friends with them from where im sitting it feels like a monumental task | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hausofmamadas · 2 years ago

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WOOF, again another super overdue reblog but well worth the wait bc this shit is actually golden/magic/fire in a way I totally didn’t expect from this pair specifically??? So, fucj it, let’s get into it:

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✷ A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

SKSKSKS already dying at the way that Pacho just haunts Amado’s entire psyche

✷ Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from.

I love love love this so much bc idk what it is about Mayo, possibly just the fact that he literally gives not a single fuck, but I don’t have to suspend a n y disbelief at the prospect that he’s touched tips with a gentleman, in his day, a time or two mayhaps this is why Benjamin was making eyes at him all flirty at Dina’s wedding hmmm??? Someday I will write that fic.... but I digress

✷ “How did you sleep?” That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

NOSKSK I SLAPPED MY KEYBOARD SO HARD JUST NOW, i knocked my laptop off my lap bc Amado’s literally like, “sorry, did you mean, how did I 😴😴sleep? Or how did I 🥴🥴 sleeeeep?”

✷ But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.” He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

Idk why but something about Mayo being like calculated but flirty, is like a) such a hot flex and I can’t even articulate why, and b) such a mirror for Pacho bc I feel like even though they’re VERY different people, that meticulousness is something Mayo would share with Pacho y’know, like they’re both crafty mfs in business and love

✷ Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

UGH OKYASISJSKSKSJSJJSSN ALREAYD KNOW IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THIS FOR THE REST OF THIS REBLOG BUT THE LONGING AND THE LOSS HERE, ALL THE ALLUSIONS TO PACHO ARE REALLY JUST— LIKE HE CANT ESCAPE IT, HE CANT HELP MAKING COMPARISONS I TRULY JUST AKSOSIW/&/8:2!

✷ In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

NO FORREAAAALLL THO I remmeber feeling the exact same way watching S3 and being so bummed for Amado at Pacho not wanting to go out and celebrate the big win and being so disappointed that like his homie was kinda checked out of the business by that point. It was such a bummer to watch and I’m not even in love with the man sksks maybe that’s why Amado latched onto May— er uhhhh, I mean Marta. Sorry getting my fic and my canon mixed up, which is like pretty par for the course with your writing

✷ This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

When I tell you I snorted so loud at this, like so loud my neighbors probably heard it bc how many times have we talked in the Discord about the glossy on-screen vs smelly reality of how much everyone fucking chain-smokes on this show sksk

✷ That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic. “Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

PFFFFFFFFTTTTJDJDJDJD NO BC IM NOW JUST PICTURING ALBERTO GUERRA AS A REGULAR FUCKIN JACK SPARROW and like I gotta be honest, the picture I have in my head is .... like I really don’t hate it? Like I weirdly feel like he could rock it being a sexy asf pirate?

✷ Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face...

WOOOOOF god, I love this detail so much, SO gotdamn cinematic. I can see it as though I filmed it myself. Just *muah* fucking excellent prose

✷ Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK NO BUT I SWEAR I DIDNT READ THIS AHEAD OF TIME, I almost always comment as I read, so the fact that literallyskkdkdkdkee Amado and I had the same exact thought of like “wow, Mayo as a pirate, what a hilarious thou— well..... y’know actually.... the more I think about it, like oh actually I’d still totally hop on that dick this is kind of working for me”

✷ But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason. It makes him want to smile too.

*bangs gavel repeatedly despite the fact that the courtroom is empty except for 2 sleeping cats* OH SURE???????? LIKE SMILING DOESNT NEED A REASON ???????? SSKOSSKWJWHAODOFJWBWOQOWJQJWJ GOTDAMN imjustsofuckingsorry but i am— that is such a fucking BANGER of a line. And here, yes. You guessed it folks, we come to a scrrrrreeeeeeeching halt at our first stop, one I like to call, “So Fucking Good, I’m Mad I Didn’t Write It/My Friends Are All So Talented”

✷ There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

I love how pencilling in a date? fuck sesh? is contingent on like whether or not other cartels are actively trying to blow them to pieces or burn their boats down, or turn them into swish cheese with a machine gun as they’re trying to make their escape boarding a plane on a private runway. And like I can tooooootally relate me, who can’t be bothered to get together with a friend for coffee if I didn’t get enough sleep the night before so yeah, pretty much exactly the same Fuckships? Relationships really are hard work.

✷ One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

PFFFFFFTTTTTTJDJDJD not me talking about relationships being hard work and Amado seconds later just, “y’know Mayo, why am I always the one who comes to you. Like are you even committed to this fuckship relationship? Bc I really don’t see you putting in the work.”

✷ Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.”

NOOOOO I AMSKSKSKS S DYING bc ngl, I have never given a single fucking thought to where Mayo might actually live bc I think I also thought he lowkey just lived in a houseboat or something djdjdjdje

✷ ... because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere ...

OH WHY IS THIS SO UNEXPECTEDLY ROMANTIC THO???????

✷ A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

okay, first off.... now pick a bedroom FUCKINF HOTTTTTTT And secondly, once agaaaaiiinnnn, the way you’ve woven little echoes of Pacho all throughout this as like Amado’s entire reference point for fuckships relationships with other men, bc Pacho was his first. Like it makes so much sense but also really does up the emotional anti and adds tension in way that I think is really clever, just bc Amado and Mayo are both like so terminally chill it’d be hard to manufacture otherwise? Idk if that makes any sense sksksksksks but i guess what im trying to say is just imlovingit

✷ Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

JESUSSSS NO BC EVERYONE SJSJSJS SHUT UP THIS IS THE MOST REEAALL STATE OF MIND, POST-BREAKUP. It’s that moment where you remember you’d been feeling a lot of emotional pain, but the thing that reminds you of it is more the absence of the pain? Which is like a relief and also the fucking worst sjsjs bc it’s fully, “don’t think of the purple elephant,” except it’s like, “oh damn, I haven’t thought about So-And-So for 2 days, what progress! that’s so aweso— AW FUCKINN GREAT. I was thinking about how I haven’t been thinking about So-And-So, and now I’m just thinking about them again”

✷ Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Okayokayokay so I LOVE the idea that Mayo is one of those ppl that’s like so comfortable with silence, that he rarely says anything, but like it’s not awkward really unless you make it awkward? And bc i have be insufferable to draw comparisons to my blorbo and make everything about me it’s not the kind of like shy, introverted, silent-for-survival’s sake quietness of Barrón, it’s like waaywaywayyyyy more laid back which is so on brand for him

✷ He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

OH YOU BROUGHT THE CATHOLIC GUILT INTO THIS MF AND I AM ACTHALLY ???? FUCKIGNSJDJDJDJDJD HYPERVENTILATING ??? AT HOW STEAMY THIS IS????? AND THEN YOU OPTED FOR THE KILLSHOT RIGHT BTWN MY EYES WITH “Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway” ???? I MEAN— HOW VERY DARE YOU???

✷ For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

It’s really so true how different ppl look when they’re asleep I for the record look like an actual slob goblin so this doesn’t at all apply to me like more childlike and innocent than when they’re awake and seeing that facet of Mayo would be absolutely faaaaaaaascinating, like I too would be creepin, watching this mf sleep sksksks

✷ Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

Oh friend..... uhhhhhh WHY??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????? HOW HAVE I WRONGED YOU??? WHY WOULD YOU DROP THIS 10 TON ANVIL ON MY HEAD AND THEN RUN AWAY LAUGHING ??? THIS IS SO ... YOUVE JUST FILLETED MY HEART WITH A GINSU KNIFE AND IM ACTUALLY TRYING TO KEEP THE SHREDDED PIECES TOGETHER WITH SCOTCH TAPE AND IM FEELING FINE ABOUT IT

✷ Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more? What about them?

JYEEEEEEEZUS FUCKING CHRIST DUDE THIS IS JUST THE MOST GUTTING THING “what about them” I’m fine! It’s FINEEEEEEEEEE

✷ But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

WOOOOF okay there’s this song called Brutal Hearts by Bedouin Soundclash, and it’s all about like two lovers who are clearly using each other but one is a little more attached than the other and it goes:

Are you the brutal heart? Are you the brutal heart that I’ve been looking for? ‘Cause if you’re looking for love, you can look for that door.

And this other part that goes:

I don’t mind at all. I don’t mind that you only call me when you want. And I’m just glad you want me at all.

And this is just!!!!! It’s giving me those viiiibes dude

✷ He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

NOOOOOOSTOOOOPPTPPPPP WHY IS THIS SUCH JUST THE FUCKING HOTTTTTEEEEST THING THO

✷ Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad. That’s never the bad part with anyone.

Idk what it is about this particular fic, like maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t written this pairing before, but you’re really tapping into an internal monologue for Amado with these little observations, “That’s never the bad part with anyone,” that I am LIVING FOR, like that shit is my absolute kryptonite, it really puts me so in his head and in the moment

✷ But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them. Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

UGGGGHHHSJSJSJSJDJDOAKYAYYYY IM PRETTY SURE THIS JUST DETONATED A BOMB INSIDE MY HEAD bc I just realized it’s such a another subtle allusion to Pacho like it would make so much sense that Amado would find it comforting that Mayo’s such an independent spirit bc it means he can never lose him to found-family, the way he did with Pacho, but it also means he’s less likely to get as invested in Mayo bc he’ll always sort of be at arms length and GODDDDD ITSNJUST SNSODKDKSNE IM FLIPPING MY DAMN DESK OVER BC ITS SO GOOD, ITS SUCH PROSE, ITS SO SHOW-DONT-TELL

✷ … the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

Idk why but the undertone of admiration and butthurt-ness in this is sending me skskssksks as though Amado hasn’t been super skilled at working his own connections like mans is the biggest trafficker in the world at that point, and he’s still like “ugh, that Mayo. He’s so much cooler than me. Why’s he so cool. Ugh, I hate him. But I love him but I hate him.”

✷ The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTKDDJJDJDJDJ THIS SWITCH THO from sentimentality, lfondly remembering the good ole days when everyone used to play nicely in the sandbox, to just ferally turned on about how much Mayo doesn’t give a single fuck about anyoennaksksks I cannot, at all, in any way, relate -> this is what a pack of falsehoods looks like in case you were curious

✷ “When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

OKYA IM SCREAMINFKDKD bc this is always something I’d wondered on the show, liek at first I assumed bc of the way it was shot, that they just torched his favorite boat, but it makes WAAAAAYYYY more sense, given how pissed and generally savage and ruthless Dina was, that she’d actually probably try to literally roast this man alive god, what a woman on his favorite boat

✷ He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much. He doesn’t know when he started to.

Sorryyyytjfjdjdjd I know casually murdering your friends for business purposes is like Not Funny but that first sentence is so like “¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you win some, you lose some!” is really making me cackle. BUT THEN ALSO THE REALIZATION THAT HE ACTUALLY CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO MAYO IS JUDT— I AM SCRWAMING, CRYING, PUNCHING WALLS

✷ “But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

“Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

SKSKSKSKSKKKSKSJSJSNSBS I HAVE NOTHING COHERENT TO SAY EXCEPT THIS IS MY FUCKINT FACE RN

✷ Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

THINGS CAN ONLY BE SO QUIET WHEN YOURE TORTURING AND KILLING PEOPLE DAILY. Everything about this whole ass fuckinskskskskn paragraph is straight tf up, pure, unadulterated, neon, white lightning comedic gold. I love the way it’s phrased almsot like a voiceover in a movie, like in my head, I’m seeing that scene where Mayo’s leaning back in that lawn chair, just calming sipping his beer, smoking his cigarette while he watches these men barbecue to death a few feet in front of him, and hearing Amado’s voice, narrating over it like, “Resulta que cosas solo pueden ser tan tranquilas cuando estas torturando y matando a gente a diario ...”

✷ He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

AGAIN, FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, ALL OF THIS BEING IN THE SHADOW OF PACHO LEAVING THE BUSINESS AND SEEING HIM FORNTHEBLAST TOME LIKE IVE ACTUALLY FULLY MELTED INTO A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR AND PEOPLE ARE STEPPING ON ME, LOOKING AT THEIR SHOE WITH DISGUST AND THEN SCRAPING ME OFF AS THEY WALK AWAY

✷ The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times ... not even Pacho can give him what he craves for … The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

I don’t even have anything articulate to say about this except that like fuck, Amado really does end up so alone at the end of it all. Like yes, in the show, he ends up with Marta but he’s lost so many others along the way, and you can just tell the money isn’t even worth it and has never really been the draw for him in the first place. It reminds me of that conversation he has with Acosta when he’s like “I like people more than money” and Amado agrees. Like I think that is the god’s honest truth but he forgets about it until it’s too late

✷ “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

UGHHHSHSKSKSKEJWJWBWBWHEJN OKAY JUST TAKE A SEARING HOT KNIFE AND JAM IT STRAIGHT THROUGH MY STERNUM INTO MY HEART WHY DONT YOU, BC I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAID, “YKNOW WHAT’S MISSING FROM MY LIFE???! MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL EVISCERATION. YES THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!! ILL HAVE SOME OF THAT WITH A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE AND A SIDE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS THANKS”

✷ He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it.

BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM DESERVE TO HEAR IT INCAAAAAAAAAANT EVENSODJSJD FUCKING HANDLE THESE HITS, JUST BACK TO BACK, ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER, BY THE END OF THIS FIC IM GONNA BE IN A FUCKING VEGETATIVE STATE

✷ ... and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

I love Mayo’s cluelessness at Amado getting all butthurt about the term “relationship.” Like I feel like someone could put a gun to Mayo’s head and he would just casually smirk and sip from his beer, cool as can be

✷ Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Re: the above comment sksks I get the feeling that Mayo is actually the worst person to get into an argument with bc he’s so That Guy. The One that you’ll be screaming at and instead of fighting back like you want him to, he’ll just fuckin laff in your face and refuse to play ball a trait that I don’t find to be sexy, or attractive, or infuriatingly endearing at all. Nopenopenope, no siree bub

✷ “Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

Not me and Mayo just being the same person here, like just based on Amado’s house and the way he dresses, I would also expect the planes to be a little more impressive than those piece of shit tiny Cessnas that literally look like they’re being held together by fuckinfkdk barbed wire and staples

✷ Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Dang, why do I get the feeling that the boat the Arellanos set on fire, was Mayo’s first boatsksksk just to add insult to injury bc Dina was going full scorched earth policy once again, what a woman

✷ Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons. “Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

SPFFDFFFTTT NOT THIS MF JUST PURPOSELY PRESSING THE BUTTONS BC HE KNOWS ITLL BUG THE SHIT OUT OF AMADOSKSKSKS I LOVE THE WAY YOUVE WRITTEN HIM SO MUCH HERE. And then, once again, “this is too fucking complicated,” Mayo taking the words right outta my mouth although based on a number of historical documentaries I’ve seen, boats, especially sailboats can be equally confounding and hard to learn how to pilot sksks there’s just fewer buttons

✷ He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

Ooooooo so interesting that Amado rejects Mayo bc it’s like already too hard to let go, he’s enjoying his company too much. And it would make complete and total sense given that he’d just lost Pacho and knows that he’s about to bounce from the business for good and basically never see him again.

✷ It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

Ngl, I like furiously scrolled down to see how much more of the fic there was bc even though this would’ve been a fuckint banger of an ending and super on-brand, based on your ability to shatter my heart and psyche with tragedy I was about to be in full fucking fisticuffs, just fighting strangers in the street, bc that’s how mad I would’ve been if that’s the way this ended sksksk

✷ Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

Okay, once again???????? Heart wrenching???? and beautiful??! And romantic ???! and tragic bc there’s no fucking way this shit is going to end well?????

✷ But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

I do like this acknowledgment of the fact that even though he and Mayo clearly have a connection and in a way, they know each other, they still don’t like know know each other. Like it’s always been about business or sex, they haven’t ever had the, “so what’s your favorite color” conversations they’d normally have if they were together or even just friends. And it really emphasizes really how lonely Amado is, almost like he’s regretting keepin Mayo at arm’s length bc there’s this gulf of communication between them, but that’s sort of by design built into their whole arrangement

✷ Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHKAAAAAAY WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS, IM NOT EVEN— I CANT EVEN COMPUTE??????? RIGHT NOW???? THIS IS SO THOUGHTFUL AND UNEXPECTED YET DOESNT FEEL OUT OF CHARACTER AS A THING MAYO WOULD GET FOR HIM?????!??? ITS— LIKE— LIKE IM IN A BALL, CATATONIC, DERANGED, LAUGHING LIKE THE JOKER, LYING ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR BC YOUVE FULLY UNRAVELED ME LIKE A SPOOL OF YARN

✷ “At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God … I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

Ohhdaaaaaaaaamn gorrrrlllllll I see you out here with these biblical references, i see you and I salute you but for the realism, not bc I’m like esp “yay! Jesus”

✷ *You will find someone.* He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

AND RHEN SSKSKSOWOWOZIANA THIS CALLBACK TO PACHO, IM FULLY FUCKING DERANGED RN

✷ “I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…”

Skskskksskskkdkdksks sorry, I just spit out my chocolate milk reading this bc Mayo is never caught off guard but I can like see and hear his confusion, here, so clearly in my mind’s eye, it’s sending me

✷ “You think I don’t know that?”

“You know, but no one really wants that, not even you.” Amado leans forward and puts both of his hands on the desk. “For the longest time I also thought I was fine with it, but no one wants to be alone.”

Oh this just got me thinking like I wonder how much older Amado is. Only bc this very much sounds like something someone a few years older would say, but then again, Amado’s been in the business for longer than Mayo, at least according to the show, so it could also just be like sksksks career advice from someone who’s further along if said career is A Life Of Doing Crimes

✷ “The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

OOOOOFFFFFF okay, so I take it back when I said that Mayo’s that person who only laughs at you when you fight with him. Like 95% of the time, I think that’s the case, except for that rare 5% of the time when he’s like this ^^ just slinging hard truths at you and it hits even harder by the very fact that he refuses to sling shit most of the time

✷ “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Okay, I love you, Amado and I have no doubt you had the best of intentions, but our homie here is making some good pointskskskk like this isn’t the best or most well-thought-out way to finally tell someone “I’m into you for more than that disco stick”

✷ “I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

I’m like.... gaaaaaaah l so conflicted bc I’m such a sucker for a happy ending but I’m also kind of like “fair, Mayo. Fair.”

✷ He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

OHHHHHHH NOOOI AMADO, TODO VA A ESTAR BIEN, POBRECITO ~~EXCEPTO QUE EN REALIDAD NO LO SÉ PORQUE NO SÉ CÓMO ESTO TERMINA PERO NECESITO QUE ESTA MIERDA ESTE BIEN

✷ “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.”

Skskskksksksksksjs “based on their last meeting” like, Amado, buddy. You can’t rule that out ever, just by the very nature of the fact that you’re all a bunch of duplicitous, murderous cartel bosses, but it’s fine sksksks

✷ This isn’t luck. Mayo *knows* him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

UH YEAAAAHHHH I FEEL LIKE THE MOST TOUCHING, SWEET, SENTIMENTAL, WELL THOUGHT OUT GIFT OF ALL TIME MEANS HE KNOWS YOU

✷ “I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

SORRYSJSJSJS i just snorted so fucking loud bc this is so something I’d actually say

✷ “So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

CUE ME FUCKING JUMPING UP AND DOWN SCREAMING LIEK IVE JUST WON THE PUBLISHER’S CLEARINGHOUSE SWEEPSTAKES AND YOUVE HANDED ME A GIANT CHECK BC I GOT MY FUCKIGN HAPPY ENDING AND I SWEAR TO GOD, I TRULY DID NOT SEE HOW IT WAS GONNA BE POSSIBLE, I DID THINK I WAS GONNA GET IT BUT YOU MADE IT HAPPEN ANYWAY

Call It Even

(My rare pair writing challenge for myself that somehow turned into a 9k words novel…)

Rating: Mature

Paring: Amado/Mayo, Amado/Pacho

Words: 9,542

The first time it happened, it was more like a stress relief than anything else. The process of restructuring the entire operation of Juárez wasn’t going as smoothly as Amado had hoped. He was living in a shitty house while his new mansion was under construction. On top of all that, he still hadn’t summoned enough courage to visit his daughter’s grave.

Mayo was asking for a favor, something about moving his boats through the port in Peñasco, which technically didn’t belong to Juárez, but he was planning to expand his operation there. He didn’t know how exactly Mayo got that information, but it didn’t matter that much. People like them always had their own ways.

They were acquaintances at best, never even met alone before, but somehow Amado just knew the other man wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a little fun time. A certain someone had given him enough experiences to develop a quite accurate instinct for this sort of thing.

They parked the boat in the middle of open water. Below the deck, even moonlight couldn’t shine through the closed door. Their bodies intertwined in complete darkness, surprisingly easy, both knowing exactly what to do, and Amado couldn’t help but wonder where Mayo got his experiences from. But then the waves must have gotten higher, because the boat started to rock back and forth, matching their increasingly intense rhythm, and all other thoughts were pushed out of his brain.

He woke up naked the next morning, under a soft blanket that smelt like sea. The boat was already moving, so he quickly got dressed and went up the deck. Mayo waved at him behind the steering wheel, or whatever that wheel was called on boats.

“How did you sleep?”

That could mean two very different things, but either way his answer was the same. “Pretty good.”

“Good.” Mayo smiled, adjusting the wheel to a fixed position, and then loosely leaned on it. “We didn’t talk about tax yesterday. How much do you want?”

“How much are you moving?”

Mayo nodded at a container in the corner, “five times that much.”

Amado walked over and took off the lid, “every week? Month?”

“Twice per month.”

He did some quick math in his head. “That’s fine, you can just move them through the port.”

Mayo lifted his eyebrows in surprise, and he wished he could take back what he said. It sounded more like an insult than a nice gesture, in more ways than one.

But then Mayo just shrugged. “Gracias compa! If you ever need a favor, or a friend…you know where to find me.”

He heard the meticulous way “friend” was pronounced, and he didn’t miss the suggestive gaze, right on the fine line between being flirtatious and blunt.

They didn’t see each other for a long time after that. Mayo kept his promise, moving their agreed amount and nothing more, so Amado kept his word as well, never asking for a tax. Frankly, that amount of money would mean nothing to him if he could make this new deal with Cali.

Then he wouldn’t just be moving the products. He would be selling them.

It felt weird to meet with Pacho in the presence of others. He was so used to it being just them. It was easier that way, more relaxing. They always did other things besides talking business. Those times gave him a brief illusion that the Colombian was his.

The meeting went well, and he felt nothing but gratefulness towards Pacho, knowing that Cali would never share their US territory with a Mexican if Pacho didn’t vouch for him.

In a way, that was the worst part, because he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad. How could he be mad at Pacho for not staying for a drink, when Pacho helped him to get half of the US market?

He flew back to Mexico that night and had no sleep, and the next afternoon he went to Mazatlán.

That’s why he’s standing by the port again right now, looking at the same boat. Or maybe it was a different one, just similar. He couldn’t really tell, just like others couldn’t tell his planes apart too.

The sun is just beginning to set, painting the sky a shade of dark orange, tainting all reflections on the water with golden sparkles. Mayo is sitting on the deck, enjoying a bottle of beer, his baseball cap placed on a chair right next to him.

He looks at Amado, and then tells his guys to leave.

“I guess you don’t need a favor.”

Amado takes off his sunglasses. He doesn’t need them under the dim sunlight. “No.”

Mayo smiles and takes the baseball cap off the chair, casually tossing it on a pile of nets nearby. “Then come aboard.”

It’s still dark below the deck, but he has just enough light to see the person right in front of him, and everything else in the background is blurred out. Their clothes are scattered on the floor. Their lips are on each other’s body so they don’t need to talk. The blankets and sheets still smell like the sea, but it’s not a bad odor— it’s fresh and natural.

It reminds him of a nice cool breeze in the midst of summer heat.

They lay side by side catching their breath, letting their heartbeats slow down after the overwhelming raw pleasure. Then the awkwardness suddenly hits him, and he doesn’t know what to say or do. That never happened before, not with women because they always wanted to cuddle, and not with Pacho either. They were already friends before anything else.

But Mayo’s not his friend, and certainly not a woman, but that thought makes him break into a smile, and Mayo spots it immediately.

“Something funny?”

There’s no point in denying it, but he’s not going to share the details. “A little.”

Mayo reaches for his pants on the floor, and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the pockets. “Good funny?”

“If you say so.” He waves it off when Mayo offers him the pack. This dark, enclosed space is perfect for sex, but terrible for smoking.

Mayo apparently doesn’t mind as he lights one for himself, the little spark shines on his face, casting a shadow of the nicely shaped nose.

“Did you come up with El Mayo yourself?” Amado doesn’t know where that question came from, probably just a random thought his brain made up on its own to alleviate the uneasiness.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just the month of May?”

“Why not?” Mayo blows out a puff of smoke. “It’s a good time of the year. Not too hot, not too rainy, great for sailing.”

That makes perfect sense, but almost too much sense for people like them. It feels too effortless, too authentic.

“Also, what other options do I have? El Señor de Los Cielos sounds cool, but lord of the sea just sounds like some dirty pirate with golden teeth.”

Amado bursts out laughing at that ridiculous mental image, and the best part is that it doesn’t even look bad. Mayo as a dirty pirate? Hilarious, but not bad.

Mayo laughs with him, and then doesn’t say more. Silence falls upon them again, but the awkwardness is miraculously gone.

Mayo finishes the cigarette and takes his watch from a tiny table next to the bed, which might or might not count as a nightstand. Amado sits up straight, taking it as his cue to leave.

“You want something to eat?” Mayo takes a look at time, and then starts putting on his pants. “There’s a pretty nice seafood place around here.”

“What?”

Mayo shrugs, buckling up the belt. “It’s dinner time, unless you want to drive straight back.”

The restaurant is small and vibrant, full of regular civilians, half look like fishermen or sailors, or maybe they’re also criminals pretending to be normal, like them.

The owner comes out to greet Mayo, not with a handshake but an earnest hug, the kind of hug that only belongs to people who have known each other for a long time.

“I give José free shrimp all the time, so he lets me eat here free for life.” Mayo suddenly says, after the owner brought them their third round of free drinks.

Amado drinks a large gulp of cold beer. “Well, does he know why you never ask to be paid?”

Mayo just looks at him and smiles. There’s something special with that smile, by now Amado has noticed. He’s no stranger to nice smiles. He’s seen it on Pacho a thousand times, seductive and irresistible. But this is different; it’s lighthearted and simple, even contagious, like smiling doesn’t need a reason.

It makes him want to smile too.

They have developed into a routine since then. There isn’t a fixed schedule, of course, that would be fucking weird, but they can always find out when is a good time for the other person, meaning business is going smoothly and no one’s trying to kill them at the moment.

Again, people like them always have their ways.

He’s been to most of Mayo’s boats, if not all. He even ranked them based on their comfort levels in his head. It’s actually how he can tell them apart to a large extent, not that he’s ever going to tell Mayo that. He has also learned what restaurants in Mazatlán have the freshest seafood, and that has completely ruined all seafood restaurants in Juárez. Now they all taste like shit, even the most expensive ones.

His favorite is still José’s place. The oysters are to die for, and the shrimp too, but that doesn’t surprise him. José never lets him pay, even when he’s not going with Mayo, but he always leaves a generous tip.

One day, when Amado arrives at the port as usual, he’s suddenly hit with two realizations. One, they literally have never fucked on dry land. Two, he’s always the one running around. Mayo has never been to Juárez, at least not for this matter.

“You don’t live on your boats, right?” He asks, just to make sure.

Mayo snorts, “on these boats?! What made you think that?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re here every time.” Amado shrugs, looking around at the now familiar surroundings. A random mechanic recognizes him and nods.

Mayo gives him a thoughtful look. “You never asked to go anywhere else.”

That’s true, because boats are the perfect place to do what they do. They can just sail out, park anywhere and all of a sudden, it’s like the whole world disappears. Whatever they do stays in the middle of nowhere, and at this point, they have done a lot.

However, if he’s being completely honest with himself, boats are not yachts, and he’s not twenty years old anymore. It doesn’t hurt to fuck on a nice soft king-sized bed once in a while.

“You know, if you want a change of scenery, you don’t have to come here.” Mayo leans forward a little, staring right into his eyes like he’s reading his mind. “I’m sure it’d be a lot more comfortable in your new house, or more exciting on a plane.”

Amado’s genuinely impressed at how Mayo effortlessly turned the table, kicking the ball right back to him, even making it sound a bit like his fault.

“You never offered to make the trip.” He responds, intentionally mimicking what the other man said earlier.

“I’m offering now.”

He swallows, not sure how he’s so aroused by that simple sentence, maybe it has something to do with that unfazed attitude. “The house or the plane?”

“Your place, your call.”

Mayo whistles when they walk into one of the large living rooms. “How long did they take to build this again?”

“Too long if you ask me.”

Outside of the floor-to-ceiling window, a few gardeners are working on the lawn. Amado walks over and closes the curtains.

Mayo runs his fingertips along the large dining table, “is this marble?”

“I think so.”

Mayo smirks, and without asking for his permission, picks up the crystal vase at the center of the table and gently sets it on the floor. “Ever tried it?”

A strong sense of deja vu suddenly hits him. The first time Pacho came to his new house, in this exact same living room, whispering in his ear, “now pick a bedroom.”

He blinks and shakes that memory out of his mind. Interestingly, he has been thinking about Pacho less frequently, at least less intensely. What just happened used to be a regular occurrence, but just now it took him by surprise.

Mayo is leaning sideways on the marble table, head slightly tilted to the side, patiently waiting. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the unexpected silence. If anything, he looks curious.

Amado shakes his head a bit frustratedly. “You just hate regular nice beds, don’t you?”

“I like them for sleeping.”

He rolls his eyes. “This is an open area. People can walk in anytime.” Not only that, there is a big sculpture of The Last Supper on the shelf directly facing this table.

“They all work for you, just tell them to stay away. We can be quiet.” Mayo glances at the sculpture, and then gives him a smirk, outright sinful. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

He gives in. He can never resist. Sometimes he wonders how he hasn’t developed a coke addiction with his crappy self control. Maybe sex is the only thing he’s drawn to.

Despite his vindictive efforts to make it difficult, Mayo does manage to stay quiet, but he can tell the tension and excitement from the grip on his shoulders, hard enough to leave bruises. He doesn’t care. If he looks up, he can see eye to eye with Jesus. For a brief moment he doesn’t care about that either. Why should he? They’re both going to hell anyway.

Amado wakes up in the morning next to another warm naked body. Right, they did it again last night, finally on a bed like normal people. Sunlight shines through the small slit between heavy curtains. The room looks peaceful at this time, and so does the person. For some reason Mayo always woke up before him in their previous encounters, so this is actually the first time Amado sees him asleep.

He doesn’t realize he’s leaning in until their faces are inches apart from each other. Then Mayo opens his eyes.

It could be some sixth sense that they all eventually develop in their world. The sleepiness in Mayo’s light brown eyes turns into alert immediately. Amado jumps back just in time to avoid being hit in the face.

The air is filled with awkward tension as they stare at each other from their own side of bed, both still naked under the cover.

“Shit man,” Mayo laughs and runs a hand down his face, “don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry.” He mutters, turning away to get out of bed.

“What time is it?” Mayo asks, although there is a large clock right there on the wall.

“Around 8:40.” Amado answers as he walks to the closet, putting on a black bathrobe.

“Great, I should be back by noon.” Mayo takes the identical robe right next to it and wraps it around himself.

“Something going on?”

“There’s always something going on.” Mayo brushes off the question and walks towards the bathroom, but stops in front of the nightstand as something catches his eye.

“Huh, is this the one you flew to Mazatlán last time?” He picks it up, and Amado’s heart drops as he sees what’s in the other man’s hands.

“Put that down!”

“Sí, tranquilo!” Mayo immediately sets it back down on the nightstand, and then puts up both hands. “Sorry.”

Amado pinches the bridge of his nose. He didn’t realize how dramatic his tone was, but he’s not going to apologize. Mayo shouldn’t be touching his stuff without asking, but he also didn’t set that rule straight yesterday with the vase.

Mayo crosses his arms and fixes him with an inquisitive stare, not at all offended or demanding, just simply curious about his sudden outburst, and somehow that enrages him even more. He knows it’s not the best way to deal with the situation, but at this moment, he just wants to tell Mayo to go take a shower, get dressed and get out of his house.

“My bad, I should have known.” Mayo breaks the silence with another apology. “Of course you would have some strong attachments to planes, even if it’s a model.”

If it came from anyone else, it would sound like they were making fun of him, saying he was like a little boy holding onto his toys. But Mayo somehow always manages to make the teasing remarks sound harmless and fun, like there are no other hidden meanings.

Amado sighs, “it was my daughter’s.”

Sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t have to hide her existence anymore. No one can hurt her now.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Mayo lifts his eyebrows in surprise. “How old is she?”

“Six.” He walks towards the nightstand and adjusts the toy plane to the exact same location and angle as before. “She was six.”

He knows Mayo will catch the specific choice of word, so he doesn’t bother to meet him in the eye. He remembers how Pacho looked at him after hearing the news: shock, pity, pain… As heartwarming as it was to know someone else cared, he doesn’t want to see any of that again.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”

Amado remains quiet, because he doesn’t want to say it’s ok. It’s fucking not.

“What was her name?”

“Anna.”

“Sounds very pretty.”

She is. She’s the prettiest little girl he’s ever seen.

He hears a gentle sigh, and then footsteps walking away. The bathroom door closes, and water starts running.

Nothing prepared Amado for the news Pacho brought. Cali is getting out of the business, for good. But why? How? What is he going to do? Where else can he get this amount of supply? “Gilberto and Miguel have always treated me as family. I’m going to join them.”

Amado understands that. Really, he does. But what about him? Hasn’t he always treated Pacho with utmost respect, trust and adoration? Hasn’t he been the best business partner, a good friend and more?

What about them?

Once Pacho has made up his mind, there’s no way to change it. Amado knows. That’s one of the reasons he respects him so much. But respect does nothing to ease the pain, so he does the only thing he knows whenever he’s in a bad place these days. He dials the familiar number.

Mayo opens the door when he arrives at the house in a suburban area. Amado hasn’t been here before, but it looks like a nice house, just not the house. It’s well decorated, both comfortable and aesthetic, but he just doesn’t feel like this is a place Mayo would call home. Why he feels that way, he doesn’t know, and he’s also not in the mood to think about.

They waste no time getting into bed, pieces of clothing scattered all over the expensive carpet. They’ve done it both ways, and both have been highly enjoyable, but tonight he’s not here for fun. He just desperately needs to let out his frustration in someone, someone who doesn’t mind.

When he shoves the other man into the mattress, Mayo shoots him a suspicious glance but doesn’t protest, which he really appreciates. He enters the warm body with little preparation, feeling the muscles clenching around his length. He forces himself to take a deep breath and slow down, so he doesn’t actually hurt him. Causing pain to whomever he sleeps with is never a turn-on.

Underneath him Mayo silently grabs the silky sheet, and he covers it with his own hand, intertwining their fingers tightly until their knuckles turn white.

The orgasm is satisfying and cathartic as usual, but physical pleasure can only do so much. They sit on their own sides of bed, the only thing floating in silent air is the smoke from two cigarettes.

Finally Mayo turns to him first, intentionally blowing a puff of smoke next to his face. “That bad?”

Amado knows he’s not talking about the sex. That was never bad.

That’s never the bad part with anyone.

“Have you ever had partners?” He asks, although he doesn’t even know why that question came to mind, or how that’s relevant in any way.

“Partners? No.” Mayo chuckles, “things change, people change, and once you have a disagreement…”

He pauses and turns to look Amado in the eye. It’s probably not a special or intense look to anyone else, but Amado knows all about it now: the teasing suggestiveness that’s always followed by something provocative, for better or worse.

“When things don’t work out, you will have to betray them, or kill them, right?”

Amado frowns, suddenly realizes how audacious Mayo has become with him, but what’s worse is that he doesn’t feel offended or threatened when he should.

“Hey, no judgment here. You do what you have to do. That’s the business.” Mayo pats him playfully on the naked shoulder. “I’m just saying that’s too much trouble for me. Always better to be my own boss.”

Is it? Maybe. Amado agrees, but he wouldn’t have agreed a decade ago. He thinks about Acosta, and even Miguel. He used to see them as partners. Maybe he doesn’t call them families like how Pacho calls the other Cali godfathers, but he cared about them at some point.

But Mayo has always been on his own. Maybe he’s more of a lone wolf than any of them.

Maybe that’s why Amado keeps coming back.

He thought losing his supply would be the biggest problem, but he should have known the golden rule in their business: when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

He just got off the plane an hour ago, hadn’t even had something to eat yet, and the fucking Arellanos shot up his favorite restaurant. He lost two bodyguards, but everyone else got out of there safely. He’s unscratched.

Amado rushes back home, asks his men to do a thorough security evaluation, and pours himself a generous glass of whiskey. When his phone rings, he has barely finished one third of the glass.

Mayo doesn’t bother to say hello. “Did they make a move on you too?”

It’s a vague question, doesn’t even specify who they are. Amado can play oblivious if he wants, but a shootout in a public restaurant is no secret, so there’s no point in denying.

“Why are you asking?”

He hears a sigh. “Well, they burned my ship. Just trying to figure out if I’m the only one they’re pissed at.”

Amado almost wants to tell him he got off easy. Having a ship burned sounds much better than being shot at. But this is not the time for jokes.

“You want to meet tomorrow? For business.” Now that he thinks about it, the last two words really aren’t necessary.

“Sure, Juárez or Mazatlán?”

“I’ll fly there first thing in the morning. Meet by the port?”

“Sounds good. I’ll show you the wreckage.”

Mayo makes it sound like something good, which he doesn’t understand, but now he’s curious. Which ship was burned? The biggest one? How many times have they done it in that one?

“So…see you tomorrow?” Mayo asks tentatively, snapping him out of his roaming thoughts. He must have been quiet for a while.

He quickly confirms and hangs up the phone. It’s been a long day, and he needs to get up early tomorrow. Time for some sleep.

Amado has never been to this port in the morning, and the beautiful scene makes him wonder why he hasn’t. Morning sunlight is bright but gentle, without the burning afternoon heat, just a hopeful glow on the tranquil water. It contrasts the ship wreckage perfectly, almost in an artistic way.

“Shit, the biggest one?” Amado shakes his head looking at the ruins. “Always come for what we love, right?”

“It’s a shame. She was my favorite one. Still had a few good years to go.” Mayo touches the burned metal frame. “But it’s fine. We managed to put it out before it could spread to other boats.”

“I assume you’re here to talk about a plan.” Mayo leads him to another boat, takes out two bottles of beers from a freezer and throws him one.

He catches it. “And I assume you already have one.”

Mayo smirks behind the beer bottle, and then goes on to explain how he plans to use Sinaloan’s manpower to move products through Tijuana. It’s a unique plan, the kind of plan that only Mayo can pull off, because the asshole knows everyone and somehow always gets what he wants from these connections.

That means Mayo wants something from him too.

“What do you need from me?”

“Chapo already has men, so we just need products to get going. The numbers you’re doing? I’m sure you don’t mind sparing a little.” Mayo raises the half empty bottle to him, “and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“What rest?”

“What else?” Mayo shrugs, “the Arellanos tried to kill you. Surely the Lord of the Skies won’t let that slide.”

The sun is rising higher, and he puts on his sunglasses. “I don’t know. The Arellanos helped me to take down Félix.”

Mayo simply takes another sip of beer. “So?”

The nonchalance and casual cruelty send an exciting chill down his spine, rushing blood to somewhere that it absolutely shouldn’t go right now.

“I’ll advance your products.” He says, a bit hurriedly. It’s a good thing that he has his sunglasses on.

“Great. Then it’s a deal.”

Usually this is when they shake hands, but at this point, they both know they’re closer than that.

“It’s a deal.” Amado nods, and claps Mayo’s shoulder, giving it a firm shake.

The other man immediately tenses up under his touch, almost like a held-back flinch. The beer bottle drops on the deck and shatters.

“What…” Startled, Amado removes his hand. “What the hell was that?”

“Nothing. The bottle just got slippery.”

“No, what happened to your left arm?”

Mayo waves it off with the other arm. “It’s fine, man. Not a big deal.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” He meant to use a stern tone, but it comes out more annoyed than anything. “What the fuck’s going on?”

Mayo lets out a frustrated sigh, acting like Amado is the unreasonable one here. “Just a burn I got last night, when I got off the ship.”

“When you…wait, they tried to burn the ship while you were on the ship?”

“You know how it is. We’ve all done it.” Mayo says that casually, and Amado truly doesn’t understand how he’s so calm about it. People fuck over and kill each other in this business. That’s no news. But almost being burned alive?!

“They fucked up their chance, and now it’s our turn. It’s that simple.” Mayo explains, like he’s the one trying to calm Amado down, which is quite funny since Amado is usually the calm one.

Then it hits him. He is usually calmer than this. He’s had friends killed. He has killed friends. Mayo is right, because a burn on the arm is nothing with their standard. He shouldn’t care this much.

He doesn’t know when he started to.

“We’ll get back at them, right?” Mayo pulls him out of his thoughts again. “That’s what we’re talking about here.”

“Yeah.” Amado adjusts his sunglasses, trying to get his brain back to business mode, and when he speaks, the viciousness in his voice matches perfectly with the rage inside. “They need to die.”

“I’ll make sure of that.”

“But try to do it quietly. We don’t want to end up like Benjamín.”

Mayo gives him a smile, the kind of smile that’s only reserved for when they’re alone, often naked. “Please Amado, we both know how to keep things quiet pretty well.”

Turns out things can only be so quiet when you’re torturing and killing people daily. Mayo even burned a bunch of people alive. Of course he did.

The violence doesn’t surprise him, but Hank’s reaction does. It starts to make more sense when he puts more thoughts into the situation. Hank is a politician, and with politicians, it’s all about appearances, about what everything looks like on the outside. At the end of the day, they don’t care how many people in the drug business die, as long as it doesn’t get traced back to them. That’s why Hank is threatening to cut all ties.

Again, when one thing goes to shit, everything goes to shit.

Pacho visits him again to talk about a final deal with Cali, but they both know that’s just an excuse for them to see each other one last time.

They drink, they talk, they laugh at each other’s jokes. Everything feels natural and relaxing, because by one in a million chance, they actually enjoy each other’s company. They like each other, a lot, and that fucking destroys him.

When they finally move to the bedroom, Amado wishes time would pause so he can imprint every detail of this experience in his brain, remember every little sound Pacho makes when he’s touched, the way each muscle tenses with arousal, and how those beautiful brown eyes stare right into his when pleasure takes them both over the edge.

He will miss this, he knows, every bit of it.

“Stay.” He says hopefully, desperately. “We can start something on our own. It’ll be good, just like the old times.”

The old times are slipping away, faster everyday and he can’t stop it. He wants Pacho, needs Pacho to be here, to remind him that it’s possible to have something actually good come out of this business, besides money he can’t spend in ten life times.

“I can’t. You know I would if I could.” Pacho’s smooth voice sounds even deeper, almost like a sigh, and there’s nothing other than honesty and sorrow in his words. “Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are my family. I love them. I can’t leave them when they need me the most.”

Amado feels a lump in his throat, and he has to blink away the burning sensation behind his eyes. He will miss Pacho, but that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is he sees it now: not even Pacho can give him what he craves for.

It’s not sex, and even a good friendship isn’t enough. The way Pacho is willing to risk everything for his Cali family, the way Acosta was willing to die for Mimi, that is what he wants. And he hasn’t felt that since he lost his daughter.

He wants someone. What’s the fucking point to get on top of the world only to end up dying alone in a ditch or a small cell?

“Hey, Amado…” Pacho touches his cheek, uncharacteristically gentle, eyes filled with genuine care and empathy. “You will find your way out too, and you will find someone to do it with. You know that, right?”

He doesn’t know how Pacho read his mind, and also doesn’t know the answer to that question, but he smiles and says yes, because both of them deserve to hear it. They should end on a hopeful note, just like how they started, believing they were building the biggest collaborative empire in narcos history. Now, they need to believe they will get out of it.

Preparing for a grand escape plan is not easy, especially for someone like him: the number one target on everyone’s list, since he’s doing the biggest numbers.

There are several times when Amado’s having too much stress and not enough sleep, he has an almost unstoppable desire to call Mayo. It’s like a habit now, the perfect person to have an hour of good time with just to chase some temporary release before he has to get back to reality. At least that’s what he’s telling himself. It’s just the sex, and the good food, and the occasional entertaining conversations, and… He shakes himself out of it. This is not a good time for that. There won’t ever be a good time again.

Surprisingly, Mayo ends up contacting him first, saying they have business to discuss. Honestly, they do. Things in Tijuana are getting too loud, which can’t be good for his already challenging escape plan. And speaking of that, he should at least have the decency to let Mayo know, not about his plan of course, but just the fact that their deal, cooperation and whatever else is over.

Amado should have reached out first, but he has been delaying it because he’s been busy, because there are a hundred more important things to take care of, because Mayo probably doesn’t even need it — such a gesture is never expected from people like them.

All these are true, but none of them is the most crucial reason.

He doesn’t want to.

This is the most silent conversation they’ve had, even tenser than the first time they met, or the first time they fucked. He used to think it was impossible to have an awkward interaction with Mayo. The man has many talents, but the most of them all is his forever easygoing demeanor. It has always been comfortable to be around him, until now.

“So, is the rumor true?” Mayo takes a small sip of beer and sets the bottle neatly on the coaster.

“What rumor?” It’s not a rhetorical question. There are ten new rumors every hour these days.

“You know, about Cali.” Mayo smiles and tilts his head suggestively, and the air is filled with a dangerous sense of provocation, dancing on the edge of offensiveness. “People have been talking, but who knows better than you? You are the one with the relationship.”

The words are spoken in a gentle, teasing tone, almost warm, yet Amado feels himself freeze, muscles tensing up instinctively like he’s about to enter a shootout.

He bites out the word in a flat tone. “Relationship?”

“Yeah? I mean, we’re all transporting their products, but you are the only one they have a close relationship with. Everyone knows that.”

Amado slowly leans closer, usually that would be a gesture of intimacy between them, but now it only carries threat and pressure. “What are you trying to say, Mayo?”

“That they’re getting out of the business?” Mayo shrugs and picks up the beer bottle again, casually taking another sip, and just like that, the air is again filled with a relaxed atmosphere. “They’re your supply, and right now my supply is you, so I need to know if that’s true.”

Amado stares into Mayo’s eyes, hoping to see something in the other man’s eyes that can give him away: nervousness, challenge or even smugness, but there’s nothing besides curiosity, as if that provocative stare earlier only existed in Amado’s imaginations.

Mayo silently holds his gaze, completely chill like he has nothing to hide, and if Amado knows anything about the man, is that he can maintain that pretense for as long as he wants.

Amado sighs and leans back into his chair. “It’s true.”

“I see.” Mayo nods, seemingly not surprised at all. “Things are changing fast these days, huh?”

“They are.”

“Well, guess I’ll get going then, a lot to take care of.” Mayo finishes the beer, grabs his cowboy hat and starts walking away, but then he stops, turning back to Amado again.

“Hey you know what? Why don’t you fly me back to Mazatlán?”

“…What?”

“You’ve been on all my boats, but I’ve never been on one of your planes.” Mayo leans sideways on a wall, a pretty clear gesture to show he’s not leaving until he gets what he wants. “That doesn’t sound fair, does it?”

It’s a silly question. Since when is fairness ever a consideration in their business? But this isn’t a business request.

This entire meeting has little to do with business.

Mayo doesn’t hide his surprise and confusion when they get out of the car at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by sparse desert plants.

“What, didn’t meet your expectations?” Amado feels the corners of his mouth curving up as he leads them through a narrow path into an open area covered by bushes and large stones, where a few small but efficient planes are hidden. If he has a choice, he rather spends more time here, out in an open field with his planes. He can fly away anytime, get up there in the sky and let everything fade away. How nice would that be?

“Maybe? I thought it would be fancier, you know, like your house.”

Amado snorts, “I’m sure the DEA would love that too.”

“Fair enough, so which one’s your favorite?”

“None of them. My favorite one, she is a bit too old to fly now.” Amado answers truthfully. There’s no need for tests and games now. This is the last time.

“I get it. It’s like your first love, never easy to let go.” Mayo nods, not in a casual, dismissive way, but like he truly understands, and maybe he does. Maybe Mayo also bought his first boat on a payment plan, and kept it running as long as he could.

Amado doesn’t know if that’s really the case because he never asked, and it’s too late to ask now. So he simply walks to a plane and unlocks the door.

Mayo climbs into the co-pilot seat, not hiding his curiosity as he observes the hundreds of buttons on the control panel, and even touches a few without asking. Amado’s pretty sure Mayo did that just to push his buttons.

“Yeah, this is too fucking complicated.”

“They’re pretty intuitive once you understand them.” Amado quickly completes the checklist before taking off. It’s like muscle memory to him now. “I like it more than driving.”

“Oh I’m sure! At least there’s no traffic up there.” Mayo laughs, and it sounds no different than their countless previous encounters. Amado swallows down the uncomfortable sourness in his chest, silently moving the plane to the runway.

“Put your headset on.”

“Yes sir.” The teasing voice comes out of his own headset and it makes his neck tingle. It sounds too close, like a whisper right into his ear.

The runway looks unimpressive but it’s very well maintained. Within a minute, they’re smoothly going up in the air.

Once they reach a stable attitude, he immediately hears Mayo’s voice coming from the headset again. “So how good of a pilot are you?”

Amado scoffs, “what do you think?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ve gotten rusty? It’s not like you need to transport your own cargo these days.”

Amado rolls his eyes. “If you’re challenging me to do tricks in the air, it’s not fucking happening.”

“What? No! Why would I…” Mayo bursts out laughing, “I have something else in mind.”

“No.” Amado hears the word coming out of his own mouth before Mayo’s hand reaches his thigh.

“Why not?”

“Do you want to die?”

“I thought you were a good pilot.” The hand slowly moves closer, skillful fingers closing around his belt buckle, “a very good one.”

“Stop it.”

“Calm down. We won’t be landing in a while, right? I’m not a pilot but I know this is the easy part.” His belt buckle opens with a click. He didn’t actually hear it with his headset on, but somehow he felt the sound.

Mayo was right. There’s not much to do until he starts the landing process. Sure, it’s still reckless to get a handjob while flying, but that’s not why he can’t do it.

He’s already enjoying everything too much as it is.

“Mayo, stop it right now.” He says that in the most threatening tone he can manage at the moment, but even he can hear the subtle shakiness.

He hears a scoff, and then his zipper opens. “I don’t think you mean that.”

Soft fingertips meet his growing desire, and there’s no way to explain, nowhere to hide.

No. This is not happening.

He grabs Mayo’s hand, yanks it out of his pants and throws it to the other side of the cockpit like a piece of hot metal.

Amado hears a loud bang, and from the side vision, he sees Mayo’s body tense up at the impact. He expects a painful groan, but no sound is coming through his headset.

He sighs and turns to look. Mayo’s balling his left hand into a fist. It looks red with a few small cuts. Maybe it hit an uneven surface on the control panel.

Mayo silently looks up and meets his gaze, and for the first time, he sees a crack of that seemingly undisturbable front. He sees rage, raw and uncontrolled, natural. If Amado weren’t still controlling the plane, he would definitely be punched in the face now.

“Did anything break?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

He wants to say more, maybe even apologize, but then decides against it. He wishes he could do something without much talking, like offering an ice pack. Then he remembers he can actually do that.

“There’s a first aid box at the back if you need it.”

“Ok.” Mayo says, but doesn’t go get it.

They spend the rest of the flight in complete silence. When they’re approaching Mazatlán, Amado nearly makes a comment on how beautiful the sea is, just a natural reaction, but then he bites his lips and swallows the words back.

The landing is as smooth as the take off. Amado turns off the engine, and suddenly all background noise disappears.

Mayo gives him one last look, neither hostile or friendly, just acknowledging his existence.

“It was a good ride, for as long as it lasted.”

Then he opens the door and steps off. Amado watches him walk away. He thought it would feel different, more significant in a way, but it’s not. It’s just a walk, probably a regular occurance for Mayo, walking away from someone, forgetting everything they offered and didn’t offer, and just like that, simply onto the next journey.

Always better to be my own boss.

He’s a man of his words, and Amado respects that.

It takes another three weeks to get everything ready: house, money, securities, the exact plane he needs to fly. He thought about every possible way that things could go wrong and how to counter each scenario. It’s the best plan he could come up with, and if that doesn’t work…well, there’s an end to everything.

It’s 6 pm in the evening. Amado sits alone on the grand staircase, looking down at the luxurious living room. He once overheard a maid telling a gardener the sunset looked gorgeous from the floor to ceiling window in this living room. He didn’t pay much attention, pretty much forgot about it right after. But just earlier today it suddenly came back to him, because he wanted to watch the beautiful sunset from his home at least once.

In two days, he will be gone.

He slowly sips a glass of whiskey, watching the sky get darker. Maybe he’s supposed to feel some kind of tranquility. Things might not go as planned tomorrow, he knows that and has made peace with it more or less. Whatever happens, he’s had an exciting life, more exciting than most.

Still, he can’t shake the restless feeling in his chest, and deep down he knows why. It’s been there since his last trip to Mazatlán.

Mayo might have gotten the closure he wanted, but Amado hasn’t.

He’s been telling himself it doesn’t matter either way, but that’s a lie. He’s never been someone to leave a loose end of any kind. He’s never been a coward since he got into this business, and he’s certainly not going to be one at the end of it.

Amado gets up from the stairs, grabs a jacket and walks out of the door.

It’s already pitch dark when he gets to Mazatlán, completely alone. Ironically, that reminds him of their first few encounters, always in the darkness that hides them from everyone else, as well as themselves.

He knows where Mayo lives. He’s known it for a very long time, but never had a reason to visit without an invitation, until now.

The guards by the door look equally perplexed and scared, and Amado wonders if their patrón ever informed them of this possibility, if Mayo ever expected him to intrude.

The door opens after several minutes, and through some complicated corridors, he’s led to a cozy room that looks like a study. The light is dim and intimate, the armchair feels soft. Everything here is screaming for something to happen, except the owner himself.

“What a big surprise.” Mayo gives him a smile across from the large wooden desk, appropriate and polite.

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“Does it matter if I do?”

Amado looks away for a second. “Maybe not.” It’s true. Once he’s gone it wouldn’t matter.

“So? This must be something important.”

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…I didn’t make it clear last time.” He takes a deep breath, and then slowly exhales. “I told you about the supply, but…”

He stops mid-sentence. He’s practiced this over a hundred times in his head on the way here, but there is no other way to say I’m disappearing for good without actually saying it.

“You won’t see or hear from me again,” he ends up saying. It’s the closest to truth he can afford to share, “for quite a while.”

“I see.” There’s a second of surprise on Mayo’s face, but he immediately looks away to hide it. Then it’s completely gone when their eyes meet again. “Maybe laying low for a while isn’t a bad idea, considering all that’s happening.”

Part of Amado wishes Mayo to say something else, to give a hint that he knows what’s really happening, so there is at least one person in the world that understands.

But why should Mayo understand? It’s not like he knows much about Mayo either. Amado looks at the artworks and books on the shelf behind the desk. Are they just decorations or do they have more meanings? He doesn’t know, does he?

“You’re gonna be ok? With supply and everything?”

Mayo chuckles, relaxed and genuine just like the good old times. “You know me, Amado.”

“Yeah. Always been your own boss, right?”

He feels the smile on his own face as they look at each other. There is no tension or sorrow, just a peacefulness that makes his stomach warm.

“Oh, I almost forgot! Since you’re here…” Mayo opens a drawer and takes out a small box. “I wanted to give it to you last time when you flew me back, but you know, plans change.”

It’s not wrapped or decorated in any way, just a plain black box. He gives Mayo a questioning look, but the other man just shrugs, so he opens it.

It’s a small sculpture of a boat, not like the ones Mayo uses to transport shrimp and coke, but a dreamy sailboat with exquisite pink and golden patterns, like something that belongs to a princess in fairy tales. Under the boat, white waves are curling on the crystal blue ocean, but they also look like sky and clouds.

And on the boat is a dark-haired little girl in a long white dress. Her eyes are closed and her lips are tilted up into a sweet smile. She’s holding a bible to her chest, a cross dangling from her neck.

Right below where the girl is standing, on the side of the boat, it writes Anna.

Amado opens his mouth to say something, but he feels his throat close up. Suddenly it’s hard to make a sound or even breathe.

“At first I wanted to make a plane that takes her to heaven, but then I figured it might be too modern for God.” He hears Mayo speaking again. Maybe he’s been silent for too long, but his brain can’t even register the words he’s hearing. “I mean, the ark was a boat, right?”

“I…” He tries to speak again, and his voice comes out hoarse and strained. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Hey, it’s ok, really!” Now somehow Mayo also seems to be panicking a little, which is almost a miracle. “It’s not like I made it myself. I just paid someone to do it and it’s not even expensive.”

Amado traces the word Anna with his fingertips, feeling the delicate design. All of a sudden a trigger in his brain is flipped, releasing a piece of memory, with Pacho’s voice echoing in his ears.

You will find someone.

He already has, when he wasn’t even looking.

He was just fucking blind.

He reaches over and grabs Mayo’s hand.

“Come with me.”

“…What? To where?”

“I’m not laying low for a while. I’m leaving, forever, in two days.”

“Oh! Ok…that’s…” So many turbulent emotions flash through Mayo’s face, and Amado has never seen something more vivid, more real. “And you said…What are you asking exactly?!”

“I know I should have said something sooner, way sooner, but it’s now or never.” Amado feels the hand under his palm tense up, so he rubs circles on the skin soothingly. “And I don’t want it to be never.”

“You…” Mayo stares at him completely dumbfounded, speechless. Maybe he deserves some kind of award just for that. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Look, just think about it. How long are you gonna keep doing this? And what’s your end goal? To make bigger numbers than me? Than Cali? Escobar?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I know, I’m not…” He feels Mayo trying to pull the hand away, so he lets it go out of respect. “You’re right. That’s none of my business, but I know one thing.”

He looks around the room at the tasteful decorations representing their owner’s wealth. “All these… They’ll be gone when the end catches up, one way or another.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Mayo remains quiet and expressionless for a while, and Amado waits patiently, more than willing to give him the time. But then his entire figure hardens. “So that’s what this is all about.”

Amado senses something is terribly wrong, but he doesn’t know what. “What do you mean?”

“Well let’s see, where do I begin? The government was onto you, you lost your supply and your Colombian boyfriend dumped you. So you came up with an escape plan, which was a pretty good idea. But when the 48 hour count down began, you had some kind of…fucking existential crisis, so you came here to grab the first person you could think of, to bring them like a bag of cash.”

“What?! No! How did you even…”

“No? Really?!” Mayo abruptly stands up and bangs on the desk with both hands, so hard that he feels the floor vibrate a little.

Amado leans back into his chair out of sheer instinct. He’s not frightened by the outburst, but he is genuinely, wholeheartedly in shock.

Mayo glances at the door and lowers his voice, but the menace it carries only increases. “Tell me again, when are you leaving?”

“In two days?”

“How long did it take for you to prepare?”

“…Several months.”

“And how long have we known each other?”

He looks up to meet Mayo’s eyes again, and he sees it, the thick layer of pain shadowing all the anger.

Mayo balls both hands into fists, slightly trembling with tension. Under the table, Amado holds the sculpture tightly, its hard edges digging into his palm. It hurts.

Maybe Mayo should have just punched him last time on the plane after they landed. He would have deserved it, and Mayo could have saved himself some trouble.

But nothing happens, just like nothing happened last time. Eventually Mayo lets out a long sigh and sits back down.

“I hope you can get away, and I’m not telling this to anyone.” Mayo takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a long drag. “But get the fuck out of my house.”

Amado feels his body burning, but there’s also a scary numbness, like his brain literally just overheated his entire body because it couldn’t handle everything that was going on.

He swallows and puts his hands on the armrests, bracing himself to stand up, then turns around to walk away.

“I’m sorry.” He says, when he reaches the door. The words came out on their own, surprising himself. He turns around, truly one last time.

“I’m sorry. I mean it.”

“I said get out.”

Amado spends the next two days in autopilot mode. He already knows everything that needs to be done, so he just does them, but it feels more like accomplishing a preassigned task rather than going to his freedom. He doesn’t know what happens after, and he barely made sense of what happened before, so he is simply going to execute the plan. It’s his only option now.

He hugs his brother one last time when they get to the deserted secret airport, watching the car drive away. Then he just stands there by himself for a few minutes, registering the fact that this is really happening. Then he starts to move his luggage into the plane. There are quite a few bags, understandably, so it will take him several trips.

When he’s about to walk out of the plane to grab the last two duffel bags, he hears a car coming. Silently cursing, Amado takes out his gun and takes cover inside the plane, peeking out of a window.

The person walks out of the car.

His breath hitches.

Amado slowly walks down the air stair, pistol pointing at the ground. “You’re not here to shoot me, right?” It’s meant to be a joke, but he can’t rule that out completely based on their last meeting.

“Honestly? I considered it.” Mayo leans back on the car and crosses his arm, “but that doesn’t fit my best interest.”

“How did you even find me?”

“You brought me here once. Did you forget that too?”

He doesn’t respond, and doesn’t need to. They both know that doesn’t answer the question.

“I saw the news for the last two days. They’ve been seizing your large hangers, thinking they’ve got you pinned down. But I thought hey, maybe that was the plan, a well timed distraction.” Mayo shrugs, “Believe it or not, it was a blind guess, just good luck.”

Amado turns the safety back on and tucks the gun away. This isn’t luck. Mayo knows him, more than either of them is willing to admit.

“Alright, say I believe that.” He takes a few steps closer tentatively. “Why are you here?”

“I thought about what you said. Most of it was fucking bullshit, but you did have one good point.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Amado adjusts his jacket. All of a sudden he’s feeling the chilliness of the evening breeze, like his body is coming out of the robotic state.

“I don’t want to wait for the end to catch up, and if I’m being honest, with how things are going these days? When the time comes for me I might not have a plan better than this one that you spent months working on, whatever it is.”

Mayo walks to the back of the car and opens the truck, revealing several large bags.

“So I’m taking advantage of this good chance right now.”

“So…you’re basically using me.” There’s a subtle sourness in his chest, but he knows he’s smiling.

“Well, you used me first for a fucking long time, so now it’s my turn.”

Amado walks over and helps him take out two bags. His own luggage on the ground can wait a little.

“Then let’s call it even?”

“I don’t know, depends on where we’re going.”

“Chile.”

Mayo thinks about it, and then smiles.

“Deal.”

“We also need to hide your car.” Amado says, after they moved everything into the plane.

“Don’t worry about it, José will take care of it later.” Mayo waves him off, “I do have some plans, you know?”

“Wait…José? José the restaurant guy?!”

Mayo pauses for several seconds, and then bursts out laughing. “Right, I never told you!”

“Never told me what?”

Mayo pats him on the shoulder, with that exact same casual playfulness as before. The only difference is this time Mayo lets the touch linger there.

“I’ll tell you everything later. We’ve got time.”

@ashlingiswriting @hausofmamadas @mandaloria314 @drabbles-mc @cherixrosa @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @anunhealthydoseofangst @narcolini @artemiseamoon @alreadywritten @sikkui @dashavau

#screamblog #narcos mexico #narcos #netflix narcos #netflix narcos mexico #amado carrillo fuentes x ismael el mayo zambado #amado x mayo #amado x pacho #amado carrillo fuentes #ismael el mayo zambada #pacho herrera #narcos mexico imagine

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maizumis · 4 years ago

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— HAIKYUU BOYS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, iwaizumi hajime

note: female reader ‼️ watch me write about dad!haikyuu all the moments I didn't have with my own sperm donor

MIYA ATSUMU after a long day at work, you were coming home a little more late than usual and as you were opening the door with a sigh, the first thing you listen is “PEASANT, DO NOT TOUCH THE QWEEN CWON”, yeah that’s definitely your daughter and your pretty sure that the “peasant” is your, oh so-called husband. Curiosity took the best of you, now you were behind your daughter’s door listen carefully what atsumu was saying to her, “WHATYA MEANT PEASANT? I WANNA WEAR A CROWN TOO YA KNOW!” your daughter gasps in disbelieve, “daddy, mom is da queen, I’m da princess and yer the peasant! And clearly, mommy isn’t here so don’t touch her cwon!” One thing you know is that you wouldn’t like to see and hear a screaming match between the peasant and the princess in question, thinking that stepping in is the best option, you said “what’s the matter in here?”, next thing you know, your daughter with his big brown eyes that she got from her father, comes running at you, screaming “momm- I mean queen! Yeah, queen! yer just on time for the tea party, this peasant needs to learn some manners” you picked her up, enjoying the way her little arms go around your neck, “yeah? What did dada do this time?” while her face is on your neck, she tells you with a whisper “psss mom, he is not dad now, remember is tea party time” and now with her voice a little more loud she announces to you what he did “he wanted to use ya cwon! Literally had to scream at him cause of that! Peoples this time are onbelivabol” the las part coming with a sigh, “ugh I now right? Why don’t we teach him some manners then?” After a little thinking, your daughter tells you “uh-huh! Yer right my queen, now I will leave to the bathroom and come back to continue this celebration”. While she leaves, atsumu comes at you with a back hug asking if ya really taking her side? with a low tone, so you replied with “of course I’m taking her side, she’s a child, our child in fact” atsumu looks at you with big eyes and tells you “she is right, people these times are onbelivabol but I still love you my queen”, now facing him, noses and foreheads touching each other you whisper to him “I love you to my peasant” and after a little chuckle you continue “thank you so much for this”.

BOKUTO KOUTAROU he always had tea parties with his daughter on Mondays after his volleyball practice with the MSBY. He couldn’t go to last week's party because of an away game, and he was devasted and promised her little princess that he would get her something. Now he is coming home from the airport with three Elsa dresses, one for his precious child, the other for his precious wife, and the last one for him, it was very difficult to find one of his size cause of his beefy body, but if he promises his little girl something, he is gonna make it without a doubt. “HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHOS HOME” he screams while putting his suitcase down “HEY HEY HEY DADDY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! MOMMY IS MAKING DINNER WHILE I PREPARED OUR SUPER DUPER EXTRA TEA PARTY!!” he picks her up with one arm, making his way to the kitchen to involve you in a hug with the arm he had free “we missed you, kou” snuggling into his neck, and while his arm tightens around you he replies with a soft tone “missed my two girls too, so much” he puts her daughter on the floor again and tells her “missy I have a surprise for our tea party, why don’t you finish the preparations and then mom and I are gonna go there with dinner? Sounds good?” whit a little nod she answers with “yeah dada, that sounds good”. After hearing her enter her room you ask your husband what did he get for her, and when he tells you he didn’t get one, not two but three princess dresses you’re over the moon, the fuck you’re going to do with three dresses? you don’t question him and keep cooking as if you wouldn’t have to put on a frozen show in less than half an hour. “BABY IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM WITH HOT FOOD, BE CAREFULL” the little girl sees you in all your glory, with the most beautiful Elsa dress she ever saw “MAMA, WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME ELSA LET YOU BORROW HER DRESS? YOU'RE SO PWETTY!” laughing a little at her comment you decide that it was the best to tell her is a secret between adults, excited to see her reaction when her dad comes to her room with the same dress on him and a little one for her. “IM COMING IN!” your husband yells and your daughter’s eyes are the bigger you ever saw them, running like the flash to steal the dress that was in his dad's hands. “Daddy, that dress is so pwetty on you, and there's one for me! We are all matching! And now we are gonna have our four curse, ugh no, cruse, ump corse, mommy how do I say it?”, “course darling, four meal course. Now dada, why don’t you come to eat with us this fancy dinner?” after nodding and making his way to the both of you, bokuto thinks he is gonna ask for another kid one of these days.

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strawberry-jammers · 3 years ago

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One Year

a dreamsmp x reader where a young (y/n) wants to rebuild an old old kingdom before they hace to be crowned to rule over their parents kingdom. with the help of their friends and a couple of servents, they hope to rebuild it all withought their parent knowing about it.

part 2

part 1/?

masterlist

The lovely @acidicvolt edited this!

the pronouns are he/him till age 17 where they're they/them

word count:4,400

----------

Age 9:

(y/n) ran around the castle with his friend Tommy, holding a bunch of flowers in our hands.

“Where's he at!?” Tommy yelled, looking into every room. “Calm down! We’ll find him!!” he says, still running ahead of him. “Come on slowpoke!!” Tommy looked at (y/n), running quickly after seeing him far ahead of himself.

“COME BACK HERE!!” (y/n) laughed, running further ahead.

(y/n) ran into the garden, coming across Techno and Wilbur. They were practicing with swords today, as to where they would normally practice hand to hand combat.

He ran up to Techno, who wasn't doing much as they were just starting another round. (Y/n) ran into Techno’s hip, making him wobble slightly.

“Heh? What are you doing kid? Aren't you supposed to be with your parent?” he shook his head, grabbing some of the flowers that he dropped.

“Nope! Mama Eret said I was allowed to hang out with Tommy today!” (y/n) says, smiling up at the tall man.

“(y/nnnnn)!! You left me behind!!” he pouts, dropping some of the flowers (y/n) forced him to carry.

“Tommy, you're dropping them!!” he says, running over to pick them up.

“Well so where are you!!”

The two friends bicker, picking up and dropping flowers as they talk. Wilbur walks over to pick up the fallen ones they can't seem to hold.

“Both of you are dropping flowers. Why do you need them anyway?'' Wilbur asks, looking at the two 10 year olds. (y/n) smiled, running up to Techno again.

“Techy we wanna braid your hair!!” he says, smiling up at him. Tommy runs over and smacks the other upside the head.

“YOU wanted to braid his hair! Don't drag me into this!”

(y/n) holds his head, nearly crying.

“Tommy, don't hit your friends!!” Wilbur says, picking up the small child.

“Put me down Wilby!!” Tommy says, thrashing his arms and legs.

“Did you just call me Wilby!?”

“Maybe I did!!”

Techno looked at (y/n) as the two brothers argued. He looked up at him as well. “This is why we don't have siblings.” (y/n) nods, dropping a flower or two.

“So, you wanted to braid my hair?” the young boy smiles.

“Wait can i!?''

Techno sighs, nodding. He smiles, walking over to the marble bench they had. The boy sat on the bench, ushering for Techno to sit in front of him. “Ugh, kids.”

(y/n) laughed as Techno walked over to him, sitting in front of the bench. Techno took his hair out of the loose bun it was originally in, handing him the string that was holding it together. The younger smiled, taking it and sectioning his hair to start the braid.

Tommy and Wilbur looked over to see them. (y/n) was peacefully humming a small tune that went nowhere, while Techno had his eyes closed humming a small beat. Tommy thrashed some more, escaping Wilbur’s grasp. He ran over to the two of them, standing next to his friend as he braided Techno’s hair. Tommy leaned over and whispered to (y/n), “can i put the flowers in?” the other chuckled, nodding his head at his friend. Tommy smiled, grabbing the flowers he had once discarded, putting them in the braid as he saw fit.

(y/n) braided the rest of Techno’s hair while Tommy put flowers in the already braided parts. Wilbur walked over to the three and watched as they worked. The two young boys put flowers in the braid as Techno talked about his week.

“Yknow, I’ve only kicked one orphan this week. Which is very impressive for me.” Techno says, nodding to himself slightly. (y/n) laughed, thinking what he said was absurd. “Techno don't tell the children that!” Wilbur says playfully.

“Wilbur you're literally 17, you too are a child.” Philza says, entering the garden that they were all sat at. Tommy smiled, running over to his father. “Dadza!! Look what me and (y/n) did!” he says, pulling the old man over to Techno. (y/n) was finishing up the last of the flowers, making sure the braid was tied nice and tight. He grabbed one last flower and went over to face Techno, putting it behind his ear. “Perfect!!” he says, looking at his masterpiece.

“Look, look!” Tommy says, showing Philza Techno’s hair. “Before you say anything, I was forced into it.” Techno says, standing up from his spot on the ground. Philza laughs at his friend, Wilbur, doing the same. “He's lying dad, I saw him humming with (y/n) as she braided it.” Techno lets out a “heh” as Philza starts laughing. “Betrayal! I didnt think my own student would do me like this!” Techno says dramatically. Tommy and (y/n) start to collect the leftover flowers as the other three argue and laugh amongst themselves.

(y/n) sat on the ground, making flower crowns with the leftover flowers. Tommy sat next to him, watching the boy work at the crown. “How do you know how to make that?” he asked, slightly amazed at his friend's creation. He didn't look up, still working on the crown. “Papa Eret showed me! They can make lots of things! Like clothes and such.” Tommy nods, watching his friend work, trying to memorize how to do it himself. Philza saw this, coming over to see (y/n) work on the flowers.

“What are you doing kiddo?” he asked, crouching down to (y/n)s level. He smiled, gesturing to the flowers. “I'm making a flower crown!! It's for you!” Philza smiled, chuckling. “Really? Thanks kiddo.” he nodded, finishing up the crown. Once he did, he stood up, taking a Philza’s hat and replacing it with the crown. (y/n) smiled at their creation, putting the bucket hat on to his own head. Philza smiled, thanking the young boy.

Time went on like this till it was sundown, messing with each other and using the many flowers they had for random projects.

“Come on (y/n) we gotta go!” Eret said, coming by the castle to retrieve the young child. (y/n) ran up to Eret, hugging him. “ zaza!!” (y/n) says, standing back slightly. Eret looked at his young kid, smiling. “Hello sweetheart! Ready to go?” (y/n) nodded, grabbing his flower crown. “Yep! Lemme say bye to Tommy first!!” the boy says, running over to his friend. (y/n) hugged the boy, who looked very agitated from the hug. “Are you coming over to my place tomorrow?” he asked Tommy, who nodded his head. “Yeah, I can bring Tubbo as well!! He should be in the village tomorrow!!'' Tommy says, adjusting his own, not as neat, flower crown. (y/n) smiled, hugging Tommy again. “Okay, see you then tommy!”

“That kid is so sweet” “Phil, you have poor taste in children.” “says the man who kills orphans.”

Age 11:

(Y/n) sat in the forest, humming to himself as he watched the bees and animals go around the forest. It was a bit past mid day, and the young prince had been out of there sense dawn, taking in the beauty of the forest.

He was in the village close to their kingdom, wanting to spend time outside of the castle. He loved natur, especially flowers, plants and such. He also loved animales. (y/n) loved everything about the outdoors, enjoying the peace he had that day.

Tubbo was a village boy, moving from town to town, never really having a set home. He did love traveling and being with his guardian was amazing, he just wished he had friends and a set place to stay.

Tubbo walked along the forest, following the bees that would fly around him, wondering if he was a flower or not. He followed them distractingly, reaching a clearing in the forest. He looked around to see where he was, soon realizing he was lost. He had gone too far from a recognizable area, and now didn't know how to get home. He knew Puffy would be mad at him for getting lost, but he couldn't do anything about it. He had already committed the lame chrome.

Tubbo looked around to see some sheep run away from him, along with the bees buzzing around him. He also spotted a young boy, (y/n), sitting against a tree taking in the beauty of it all. Tubbo went over to the young boy, trying to be as kind as possible, like Puffy said.

“Hello!! I'm Tubbo! Mind if I join you?” Tubbo asks the older boy. (y/n) nodded, moving slightly to show Tubbo he could sit down next to him. Tubbo smiled, following such. “Hi, im (y/n). I haven't seen you in the village before, you new around here?” he asks, picking at the grass around him. “Yeah! Me and aunty Puffy travel a lot, so I never really stay in the same place. Have you lived here a long time?” Tubbo asks, making the young prince chuckle. “No, I live in a kingdom nearby.” Tubbos eyes glisten, he gasps. “Wait, are you the prince!??!” Tubbo asks excitedly. (y/n) nodded, not minding the question.

“Yeah, I lived there my whole life! What's it like traveling? I rarely leave the castle so I've never explored outside this village and the kingdom.” (y/n) says, looking at the young boy. Tubbo smiles. “Well traveling could be fun, yet very lonely. I haven't had a friend in years, having had traveled so much since then. I do love seeing all the cool sights and how different villages work though!” (y/n) nodded, enjoying the interaction he was having.

The two of them talked till it reached dawn, the sun slowly disappearing.

“Dang, we better get going! Do you know your way back?” (y/n) asked, standing up and dusting himself off. Tubbo stood up as well. “No, I kinda got lost…” Tubbo says. (y/n) nodded, grabbing the other boy's hand, guiding him through the forest. “Well, I know the way back! I'll take ya there!”

Tubbo nodded, letting the prince guid him back to the village. They continued to talk as they went through the forest. Tubbo talked all about bees, one of the few constants in his life.

(y/n) and Tubbo finally reached the village, it officially being dark out. Thankfully, there were lights all around, so they were still able to see and get around easily. “Damn, it's too dark to get back...dads gonna kill me.” (y/n) says, looking around. Tubbo gaps, grabbing the prince. “You can stay with me tonight!!! Sleepover!!” he says, grabbing the prince and dragging him back to the house Tubbo was staying at. “You don't have to let me stay, I can find my way back!” Tubbo shook his head, stopping. “No, we’re friends now and you're staying with me and aunty Puffy!”

(y/n) sighed, letting the young boy take them to his home.

It didn't take them long to reach the boys home, for it wasn't too far from where they exited from the forest. Tubbo let go of (y/n)’s hand, knocking on the door before opening it and walking inside. “AUNTY IM BACK!!'' Tubbo says, making sure Puffy knew it was him coming home.

Puffy walked out of one of the rooms, walking up to the young boy. “Oh Tubbo! You made me worried there kiddo!” Puffy says, hugging the small boy. She looked over to see the young prince, noticing him standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Oh! Tubbo, did you make a friend?” she asked, letting go of the small boy. Tubbo nodded, going over to the young boy. “This is (y/n)! Is it alright if he stays here tonight since it's too dark to go back to the castle??” Tubbo asked, latching onto his friend. Puffy gasped, looking at the two of them. “The castle???” she asked. (y/n) nodded, smiling slightly. “Yep! So..can I stay here tonight?” he asked the older lady.

Puffy of course agreed, letting the boy stay for the night. She even offered to take him back to the castle in the morning. He declined, not wanting to burden the lady more than he already has.

Tubbo took (y/n) back to his room, showing him all the cool things he had gotten from their travels. Apparently, Puffy was a pirate captain and would travel the seas and such. She would stop at different villages to get supplies and give their nephew breaks from being at sea all the time. It was a coincidence that they had stopped at the village closest to his mothers kingdom.

“Oh oh, this ones from a neighboring kingdom!” Tubbo says. Showing the prince something from the kingdom his friend Tommy lives in. “That's the minecrafts kingdom!! I'm close friends with one of the princes! Did you like it there?” Tubbo gasps, both of them getting overly excited. “Wait, are you friends with tommy!? I met him when I was there last month!!” Tubbo says, putting down the trinket. “You know tommy!? We should all hangout sometime!!”

Puffy heard their conversation, happy Tubbo was finally making some friends. However, they would be leaving soon and wouldn't be able to stay longer than they already are. Puffy sighed, sad that this is how things had to be.

The next day, (y/n) left back to the castle, hoping to keep in touch with Puffy and Tubbo. Tubbo was sad his friend had to go back, but still happy he had made a friend. Puffy was just sad she had to tell Tubbo they would be moving again. She couldn't stay in the same place in fear his father would catch up to them and take the boy away.

Of course, the three boys were able to meet up. It took them several months, but once Tubbo made his way back to the village he and (y/n) met up at, they were able to make a plan to see each other.

The three of them hit it off, immediately becoming close friends with a strong bond.

At one point, Puffy let Tubbo stay with Tommy in his castle for a summer, allowing the three boys to see eachother once more.

Of course, this came to an end when Tubbo had to eventually leave with his aunt, leaving the two boys, who hadn't been able to hang out after tommys schedule had gotten more and more packed.

The three of them hadn't seen each other for years, hoping one day it would go back to old, where they were just kids and were able to hang out at least once.

Age 17, present day:

“You're gonna have to rule the kingdom soon (y/n)” Eret says, sitting down in the said childs room. (y/n) turned to him, no longer focusing on the crafts they were working on. “But I don't wanna rule the kingdom. It's just not my thing…” they say, turning to their parents. “I know I know, but there's no one else that can take over.” (y/n) nodded, turning to the flower crown they were previously working on. “I get that...i just wanna go back to a time where i could just hang out with my friends..ruling the kingdom means that time is completely over..” Eret nodes, walking over to his kid. “I know, I thought the same thing when I was younger. Though Tommy is busy with a war and Tubbo has been travelling non-stop for years, they've already changed.” they sigh. “It's been so long, they don't even know who i am anymore! The last time I saw them I was still a guy. It's just frustrating…” They get up from their seats, hugging their mother. “I just wanna see them...”

The next day was spent learning more about their kingdom, knowing when they turn 18 it would be theirs. They sighed, reading over some of the history books their ren (another term for mother or father) had kept for all these years. They opened a new book, wanting to read the contents inside.

They opened it to see a piece of paper fall to the ground. "Didn't think the pages were that old…" They crouched down, picking up the fallen paper. They stood up, puzzled by the page.

"It's not from this book," they looked closer at the piece of paper, "what's lmanburg..?" They sat down, reading over it.

Apparently, lmanburg was an old kingdom, long since destroyed. It fought for peace, and independence. Unfortunately, a small group of people went and destroyed the kingdom, leaving nothing but a pile of rubble and long forgotten ideals.

(Y/n) looked over it once more, seeing the kingdom's location on the bottom of the page. They shot up, running to their room.

They flung open the door, running to their desk. They throw off the unwanted items from their desk, placing the paper in its place. They sit down, opening a drawer and grabbing some paper and a pen.

They look over the page on lmanburg one more time, then proceeding to write a letter to their old friends.

"Dear Tommy, It's been a long time since we've talked hasn't it? There's many things we need to catch up on, but that should be saved for a later date.

As you know, I will rule my mothers kingdom soon. I will be crowned their majesty in 1 years time, and I wanted to do something fun before then.

I found a story on an old, destroyed kingdom called lmanburg. I wanna go visit it and maybe even bring it back to its former glory. I know it's a lot to want to accomplish in only a year, but that's all the time I have.

I would be grateful if you could join me in this adventure I'm pursuing. Here is where we'll meet and when. I'll be asking our old pal Tubbo as well.

I hope to see you then

-your old friend

(Y/n)"

They did the same for Tubbo, telling him of their plan along with where/when to meet them if he agrees to come on their journey. They sighed, knowing they might have to go on this alone. Nevertheless they wrapped both letters in separate envelopes, ready to be shipped to their recipients.

(Y/n) walked out of their room, looking around the castle for one of their few servants.

"Are they on break right now? I can't find any of them.." They say, going down different halls to find someone who could mail the letters.

"Oh, (y/n)! What are you looking for?" Karl asks, one of the few servants in their castle. (Y/n) sighes, happy that they finally found someone. "Karl, I need you to send these letters. You know where to find Tommy, but Tubbo will be harder to catch. Can you send them please?" They ask, handing Karl the letters. "Of course! I'll send them as soon as I'm free!"

(Y/n) thanks Karl, going back to their room. Plopping on their bed they sigh, hoping their friends would accept their invitation.

The next day they started packing for the trip. It wasn't for another week or so, but they just wanted to be prepared. They were also kinda excited as well.

They hadn't told Eret yet, fearing what they might say. (y/n) knows she loves them, but they had been under alot of stress as of late and didnt wanna make it worse.

“I do need to tell them…”

“Tell who what?” (y/n) jumped a bit, seeing Eret in the doorway. He walked in, standing by the desk. “Oh, hey..” (y/n) says, standing awkwardly by their bed. Eret looked down at the bag they were packing. He had a puzzled expression on his face. “Why are you packing? You're not running away are you!? I mean, if so, you're doing a bad job…” (y/n) sighed, closing the bag. “I'm not running away...kinda.” they say, sitting on their bed. “I was planning on going on an adventure, actually. I'm gonna rule the kingdom in a year and I wanted to do something fun before I did so..”

Eret nodes, smiling. He goes over and sits next to their kid. “What are you planning to do on your adventure? You seem very excited for it, seeing as you've actually packed for something.`` They both laugh slightly. “Well,” (y/n) gets up, going over to their desk, grabbing the paper they had found in Eret’s old history books. They walked back over and showed Eret the paper, “there's an old old kingdom called lmanburg. Apparently it was a thriving kingdom, but one day it fell to the ground. Fascinating isn't it?” Eret reads it over, frowning slightly. “(y/n) i don't want you going to this place.” (y/n) was baffled. They didn't understand why they weren't allowed to go to this place. It was super old, it's not like anyone would still be there. It was forgotten about.

“What do you mean? It's long forgotten and I would be bringing my friends! It's not like I'd be alone and ill prepared.” Eret sighed, standing up. “(y/n), lmanburg is a breeding ground of monsters and such, i don't want you getting hurt.” they in response stood up, coming up short to the tall person in front of them. “I know that! I've been training for years, I can handle monsters! Also, again, I won't be alone! I'd have Tommy and Tubbo with me and their great fighters!” Eret looked at them quickly.

“Tommy and Tubbo are going??” (y/n) nodded, stepping back slightly.

“I need to contact Philza and Puffy, you're not going on this adventure and that's final!” Eret walked out of the room, dropping the lmanburg paper on the ground.

“Wait what!? Mom you can't!!” they say, walking behind their father.

“Because, I don't want you going to that place! You're not changing my mind on this.” (y/n) slows down, completely baffled by this. They knew there was a chance they wouldn't be able to go, but they didn't think he’d act like this.

“R-ren please! I need this, I haven't seen them in so long please!!” Eret turned to them briskly. “Sweetheart, this is final. I don't want you going to that place! Stop pushing it.” Eret continues his way down the castle as (y/n) stopps in their tracks. They were shocked, really looking forward to this trip as a last resort of still being young and free from ruling.

They looked around, running back to their room. They slipped at the door, running too fast and nearly falling. They fumbled to the desk, once again grabbing paper and a pen from the desks drawers. They sit in the desk chair, fumbling with the paper and closing the drawer quickly. They quickly write a letter to Tommy and Tubbo.

They write that there would be a change of plans. Their mother wouldn't let them go to the wrecked kingdom, so they wouldn't be able to tell their parents and would have to sneak to the old kingdom.

They added more to the plan, sealing up the letters in envelopes and booking it out of their room, grabbing their bag and paper on lmanburg. They ran down the hall, making sure not to run into Eret while looking for Karl. They looked around, still not finding the man they needed.

They looked in the smaller dining hall, spotting the brunette walking towards the entrance. “Karl, Karl! Have you sent the letters yet?” they asked, walking up towards the male. “No I haven't, I actually was about to send them out now! What did you need?'' I smiled, sighing. “Oh thank god...i need those letters back, My ren won’t let me go to the old kingdom of lmanburg, and i don't want him finding out im still going…” Karl’s eyes widened. “Your lying to the king? I know their your parent but thats the KING!” (y/n) shushed Karl, taking him all the way back to their room.

Once they arrived, (y/n) closed the door, looking at Karl. “You cannot tell my mom! I'm trusting you with this, okay? I'm going on this trip, and i need those letters back so i can deliver them myself.'' Karl steps back. “Whoa whoa whoa, you're delivering these letters alone? No no, you're going with someone on this. Maybe you could bring Niki! I know she isn't busy since there are a few other bakers in the castle!” Karl suggests, handing the old teen the letters. (y/n) considered this, knowing they should probably bring someone along.

(y/n) nodded, agreeing to bring someone with them. “Okay, I could bring Niki if she would agree to go. Promise you won't tell him I'm sneaking out?” Karl nodded. “I promise! We’ve known each other long enough for us to keep secrets for one another! Want me to go tell Niki?'' Karl asked, heading towards the door.

“Yes, tell her to meet me here at midnight. I don't want ren knowing about this at all.'' Karl nodded, smiling at the prince and heading off to go see the pink haired baker.

The teen waited, taking a nap so they were able to sneak out at night. They knew it was probably too soon to start the expedition, and that their father probably knew where to find them. They just couldn't wait any longer.

The sun was slowly falling from the horizon, getting darker and darker by the second. (Y/n) had taken their place at the window, looking at the sky getting darker and darker, the stars showing more prominently as time went on. They sighed, looking over at their door.

It wasn't time for the two servants to show up, but they did wish they were able to just go out and seek out lmanburg freely. It wasn't like that however, they knew they couldn't do everything they wanted, they just hoped their mother would support them in this.

They looked back outside, letting the time pass for when they would meet up with Niki and leave the castle for a whole year.

So there they waited. Hopefully everything went according to the new plan.

#mcyt x reader #dreamsmp x reader #niki nihachu x reader #eret x reader #karl jacobs x reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #sbi x reader #sbi au #technoblade x reader #captain puffy x reader #x reader #wilbur soot x reader #philza minecraft x reader #Dsmp Royal Au #One Year Fic

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binunus · 4 years ago

Text

college bf!eunwoo

a/n I LOVE HIM !! I WOULD LITERALLY RISK IT ALL FOR HIM !! also rip to the disappointing hookup experience I had that made an appearance in this headcanon...yes I’m still angry about it.

�� pairing: eunwoo x f!reader

→ genre: smut, fluff, fwb to lovers

→ tw: hookup culture, mentions of drinking and drug use, implied almost SA, this is a bit heavy compared to the other ones like please be a cautious a little when you’re reading this

→ word count: 5.6k

_______________________________

here we go ladies and gents

i had something completely different planned for this

and it was super angsty and dramatic

but i had a monumental experience last night so I’m changing this up

and okay okay

i usually try to write all my stuff gender neutral but bc of the idea I have for some of this plot, it’s gonna be a female reader

im sorry to all my male identifying loves :(

and back to our regularly scheduled program

cha motherfuckin eunwoo

lee fuckin dongmin

he doesn’t go by dongmin, he prefers to go by eunwoo, only his family calls him dongmin

as soon as he stepped foot into the university, everyone knew him

and I mean everyone

he’s so attractive

but don’t get it twisted, eunwoo’s the humblest, sweetest bean

he gets very embarrassed when people compliment him for his looks

applied for random roommates his first year and got paired up with swimmer!bin

he and bin become besties and end up rooming together their entire college career

major: music performance, specialty in piano

most people (besides those in the music department or astro) would have never thought eunwoo was a music major, especially since he was incredibly smart and athletic too???

usually gets mistaken for a STEM major

often helps the boys (especially rocky and sanha) with their studies

and oof when he tries out for–and makes it into–the basketball team

everyone ???? floored

eunwoo has game on the court...now with dating??? eh not so much

(at least not sober shh)

he’s tried dating before, at least in the first year or so

the basketball team kept trying to set him up with people

but it never got anywhere substantial and eunwoo always trusted astro to really give the vibe check and no one ever passed

and so he settled for hookup culture every now and then

his emotions are guarded :’(

yes he’s very easy to talk to and always so nice and well mannered

but he’s only himself with astro

now, where do you come into this???

you’re a cheerleader

you and eunwoo know each other by association

you cheer for his home games, you’ve been in a couple of classes together, you’ve seen each other at parties

but would you call yourselves friends?? not really

now you know it’s highly unlikely for you to have a lasting boyfriend in college, especially with your affiliation as a cheerleader, so you also opt for hookup culture

less messy feelings, less drama, less commitment, all that fun

so the first time your paths really intertwine with eunwoo is at a party

the basketball team won a big game and they were out celebrating yuh

and ofc since it’s his team, eunwoo popped out

he only really attends parties hosted by the basketball team bc he feels a bit obligated to go LOL but he always brings swimmer!bin for support

and it’s chill bc bin is also an athlete–yes it’s exclusive like that

but this time, bin couldn’t go so it’s just eunwoo hanging with his team

and yes, you can guess it, you and him get partnered up to play beer pong together!

that’s so cliche omg

but ah ha you hear your opponent, one of eunwoo’s teammates say to one of your fellow cheerleaders: don’t worry baby, I’ll carry you through this game

and you cringed a little ugh men

eunwoo turns to you like: ah sorry if we lose, it’s all luck with me. The guys usually pick to play me bc I’ll probably lose. I’ll drink the cups for you though if you want me to.

you get a little fired up, like aw why do they pick on him that’s not fair

you: well I’m not horrible at pong, so let’s try to crush em

he played pretty well ok! you both got balls back twice in a row right in the beginning

your team was on a roll

you and eunwoo won three games back to back

you were feeling a bit bloated and hazy from the beer that you and him had to drink, but you were still pretty self aware

and you and eunwoo were just chilling after playing the games, you two were on a pretty good wavelength and you wanted to continue it after joking around in between plays

alright now obviously you don’t go into these parties just strictly looking for a hookup, you go to have fun and let loose

but if the person and situation arises??? you wouldn’t necessarily turn it down, especially if that person was cha eunwoo

and yeah, eunwoo was entertaining the idea too, it’s been a while since he vibed with someone like he has with you

basically by the end of the night, you brought him back to your place–you’d rather eat shit than hook up at the basketball house, it was messy and musty and just nope

your place was closer than his

and ~yuh~

it was pretty damn good

he didn’t stay the night, bc well this was a hookup, so after you both had your fill it was a casual alright see you around!

oh lord the fuss your cheerleading team gave you at the next practice asking how your hookup with eunwoo was

the news spread like wildfire

eunwoo didn’t hook up very often so every time he did, it was like breaking news

which is honestly a bit fucked up, but seriously this is how college is

alright so your sex drive skyrocketed after fucking eunwoo

you hook up with another guy at one of the following parties

but it didn’t compare to eunwoo rip so you were pretty disappointed

and you were sorta wondering like hm? should you hit him up? but decided against it

and then! you saw him at the gym working out with literally all of astro

bin probably forced the other 4 to come with him and eunwoo sksksksk

and you were like shit why does he look so good

not gonna lie, just in case he was looking over, you tried to make your ass and tits pop out a bit more, you know squats and shit

unfortunately, it caught the attention of other guys at the gym and not eunwoo grrr

and you were literally just planning to stop being a coward and go up and talk to him, but a guy blocked your path

and he was lowkey being very creepy and way too close for your liking

but you weren’t having it, hell no you ain’t a damsel in distress

being a cheerleader taught you how to defend yourself against predatory men

so you were basically telling him to fuck off and leave you alone, but he was being really damn persistent about it

and just as the guy was about to put a hand on you, eunwoo steps in and he’s like: dude, she’s clearly not interested, fuck off.

after a bit of a stare off, the guy leaves and wow you’re face to face with eunwoo again hehehe

his eyes switch from a glare to a soft worried look and he’s like, hey are you okay?

and you’re like a little giddy, maybe also a little bit turned on bc he’s still like fresh from a workout, his hair was brushed back revealing his forehead, his arm muscles were really defined right now, and just he’s so hot?

but you smile nonchalantly, you genuinely could have just slapped the shit out of the guy or kicked him right in the baby factory, but eunwoo stepping in was also a pleasant surprise, you weren’t complaining

you: yeah. I could have handled it, but thanks for helping

and he just grins, your confidence?? attractive

the two of you just like look at each other for a couple seconds and you’re yelling at yourself in your head like don’t cop out this is what you were waiting for !!

you: so...you’re here with your friends?

eunwoo: yeah, me and my roommate forced them to come work out with us haha. did you come by yourself?

you: yeah, I usually work out with my teammates, but I decided to come alone today

eunwoo nods and you see him like look at your neck and you immediately get a bit shy bc you knew there was a hickey there from your last (very disappointing) hookup: you’ve been having fun recently?

your face flushes: the last one was embarrassing really, so honest to god no

eunwoo: why was it embarrassing? if...you don’t mind me asking

you immediately facepalm: no, yeah I don’t mind telling you...ugh, eunwoo I was literally catfished. this guy really talked mad game about his dick and then when I agreed to hook up, he asked me to suck him off and it literally only took him less than ten minutes. and after he came, he just pulled up his pants and said “damn you give really good head” like the fuck? he didn’t even offer to return the favor or anything, and when I asked him “wait, are we gonna fuck?” he just said “maybe next time.” maYbE neXt tiMe?? I was played so hard, you have no idea how pissed I was, eunwoo. and now I have to wait for his dumb fucking hickey to heal so that I can literally just repress that hookup even happened.

his jaw literally dropped: he didn’t give you anything?

you shook your head, you were getting pissed again

eunwoo couldn’t believe his ears, he glances back at astro for a second and then he clears his throat: well...what are you doing after the gym?

you: nothing, just going home and taking a shower. My roommate’s not gonna be home tonight so I’m probably gonna wallow in my sorrows about that hookup again

he laughs: well sounds like you have a fun night planned, but if you want some company?? I’d be more than happy to come over and help you forget about the sad disrespect of that hookup.

who said eunwoo couldn’t flirt ???

and he was thinking about hitting you up again too before but he didn’t wanna seem like a fuckboy or anything

but seeing you defend yourself against the guy?? lowkey was a bit of turn on for him

obviously you agreed hello

eunwoo going up to astro: so uh...imma head out first...I’ll see you guys later. :)

sanha: hyung so scandalous *O*

you and eunwoo fuck again

and after this time, the two of you have a little bit of pillow talk

basically you tell him that fucking him ruined all other guys for you bc he was just that good

and eunwoo usually gets shy from compliments, but his ego with this one??? he felt a bit proud ohohoho

and he’s like: honestly, you’re the only person I’ve fucked in six months, but I gotta agree that our sexual chemistry is pretty good

so where do you two go from there?

friends with benefits baby, full on fuck buddies

you both talk and agree that you two weren’t looking for relationships at the moment, but the sex was good

i’m gonna get into specifics later, but for now a little more plot

obviously, you and eunwoo talk a lot more now that you two were basically fucking each other at least once a week

the guys notice that he’s so much more?? carefree?? less stressed out?? ever since you and him started your little agreement

and they’re already scheming by themselves, like eunwoo would not get into a situation like this unless he trusted you as a person

and at first it was really just, call each other over, have sex, stay for a little bit longer, then leave

neither of you ever stayed the night bc that’s just an unspoken rule

until there was this one party, a group of people were in one of the rooms at the basketball house and they told you to come join them and ~do drugs~

don’t dabble kids, I’m serious

and you were chilling with eunwoo and bin for a bit until they called you over and you were like: wanna try too?

eunwoo and bin didn’t do it obviously, but you were curious so you went and told them you would be back in a bit

eunwoo was worried about you, bin could see it from a mile away

he kept glancing back at the room and one by one people started to come out, but none of them were you

bin nudging eunwoo: go check up on her

eunwoo opens the door to see you being like pinned down on the bed and he turns livid

he pulls the guy off you and punches him right in the face like: what the fuck do you think you’re doing? what did you give her?

you’re noticeably out of it, sobriety? not there

the guy basically laced something in the drug he gave you, omg you were roofied??

bin comes in and he literally has to hold eunwoo back from beating the shit out of the other guy

the two take you back to their apartment and were making sure that you didn’t die or something shit

literally cannot believe the first time you slept over at eunwoo’s place was when you were drugged up

you wake up the next morning, nauseous, body weak, and confused

eunwoo also wakes up because of your movement: hey y/n, are you okay?

you: eunwoo...what...what happened last night??

he sits up and gives you a recount of the party and you just like hug your body tightly when he brings up the drugs and start crying

he’s a bit shocked when he sees your tears, but he just pulls you in for a hug to try and comfort you, obviously that must have been a bit traumatic

eunwoo: hey...it’s okay...I’m just glad I checked up on you before something worse happened

you: I’m such a fucking idiot...I can’t believe I let myself get put in that situation again...no wonder people think I’m a just a dumb whore.

~trauma~

you and him spill your deepest darkest most traumatizing secrets that morning and you just feel more connected to him

you: I honestly never really told anyone...thanks eunwoo, you’re a good friend.

he feels more protective of you after that??

you start hanging around with him and astro more

and the guys really like having you around !!

you’re very easy to get along with, you also joke and tease eunwoo with them, they love you !

you even become really friendly with the other guys’ partners

about half a year into your fuck buddy relationship with eunwoo

everyone: why aren’t you dating y/n yet?

eunwoo: what do you mean?? we’re just friends...with benefits??

before you even know it, you’re spending literally all your time (when you’re not training or practicing or at class) with eunwoo and his friends

you sleep more at eunwoo’s than you do at your own apartment

honestly you two are already acting like a couple

except for the fact that you only kiss each other when you’re fucking, or you don’t hold hands in public, or you don’t say the L word to each other obviously

but the cuddles? the jokes? the hanging out? if you two are seen together there’s still a little form of physical touch––like a hand on the waist, or resting his elbow on your shoulder––something that tells other people that you two are a bit exclusive to each other

and maybe it’s because both of your emotional capacities when it comes to relationships are akin to a pubescent thirteen year old, but you and eunwoo?? don’t really realize that you’re both basically in love with each other

and it’s also the fact that catching feelings in a friends with benefits?? forbidden

but what if both people catch feelings?

you don’t realize you like eunwoo until a year of fucking each other

damn a year?? y’all really suppressed those romantic feelings hard

you and him were hanging out, per usual, but in the piano rooms of the music building

eunwoo had to practice his repertoire for an upcoming performance and you were free so you decided to come along and keep him company

you knew he was a music major and that he played piano, but you never actually heard him play

you were just chilling by the window, scrolling through your phone, and then he just starts playing and your jaw?? literally dropped

it was so intricate and fluid and elegant, you looked over to the keys and his hands just moved so expertly over them

you were put in a trance, it was so beautiful??

and then you look up and his concentration? seriousness? he has honestly never looked more attractive to you than in that moment

and then eunwoo meets your eyes and he smiles a little: is it bad?

you: no, you’re amazing actually...

and your stomach does a triple somersault and your cheeks start heating up, like why is your heart going haywire???

you start spacing out and obviously he notices

eunwoo calls your name and pats the space next to him on the piano bench

eunwoo: what are you thinking of, hm?

you: n-nothing. keep playing, I wanna hear more

and so he does and your heart just won’t chill out, especially now that you’re literally sitting mere centimeters apart from him

he’s still playing and you just can’t stop thinking about how much you want to kiss him–and not in a sexual way

and that honestly scared you, so you panicked and put your hand near his crotch

eunwoo jolts in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything, he just chuckles and continues playing

do you have sex in the piano room to try and distract yourself from whatever you were feeling? yeah

you hide your feelings for a little bit, but the more time you spent with him, the stronger they got, and you honestly didn’t know what to do

so you tried distancing yourself, you gave eunwoo the excuse that cheerleading competitions were coming up–which they were, so it wasn’t a complete lie–and you needed to focus and have time to yourself

it was so weird for you not seeing him and astro all the time, you barely responded to his text messages or calls, and when you saw him around campus, you would immediately try to avoid him, and it hurt but you were ~scared~

eunwoo’s a smart boy, he knew something was off with you

but after a week of trying to contact you, he didn’t wanna seem annoying or a bother, so he tried not to

even though all he wanted was to see you or talk to you, like it was beyond sex at this point

he missed you, he thought he was going to go insane

he didn’t realize his feelings for you until he saw you talking to a guy in the athletic building

he had basketball practice, and you just finished your cheerleading practice

you were talking to this one guy from your philosophy class, basically joking around and talking shit about your professor

and eunwoo saw you smile at something the guy said and he just felt jealous

his fists clenched, he hated seeing you smile and laugh with the guy like how you used to do with him

and it also didn’t help that you and him haven’t really talked in two or three weeks and he just missed you so much :(

he tried not to think about it during his practice, but it didn’t work, he was off his game for this one, even his teammates and coach noticed it

he went back to his place after practice and called over the boys and basically vented his frustrations

jin: eunwoo. you like y/n

eunwoo: I know...fuck what do I do

bin: tell her, obviously

eunwoo: and risk our?? friendship??

myungjun: you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that she likes you back

rocky: yeah...I mean why else do you think noona started distancing herself from you?

eunwoo: maybe I’m just feeling like this because we haven’t met up in a while and I saw her talking to that guy and I don’t know? I’m horny?

sanha: hyung...you sound indenial and jealous.

bin: you like her. we’re surprised you didn’t realize this earlier.

anyway, the day of the competition comes, and the guys and their partners decide to pop out and support you

and seeing them actually made you feel so warm, you wave at them brightly and you meet eyes with eunwoo and you smile at him even though the butterflies are back and at full force

the group is so proud watching you and your team compete, their cheers are debatably the loudest and you literally have to stop yourself from laughing in the middle of your routine

your school places first yuh

and after talking with your team and discussing celebration plans, you go to the group

you were having such an adrenaline rush, you immediately run up to eunwoo in a crushing hug and you kiss him

eunwoo doesn’t even hesitate to kiss you back

astro and them: ohohoho hey

you: I’m so happy you all came! I can’t believe we actually won!

you were going to celebrate with your team bc you knew they were throwing a party, but celebrating with eunwoo and astro/their partners seemed way more appealing to you

you all go out to dinner and drink a little bit casually and it’s all such good vibes

you missed hanging around with them all and it just felt so right

eunwoo rested his hand on your thigh the whole time throughout dinner, he missed you alright, and just seeing you so happy with all his friends? he was hooked

when the group parts ways, it’s just you and eunwoo heading back to his place bc bin is spending the night at his partner’s apartment

and honestly the tension is so thick between you two

you barely make it past the door before you’re both latched onto each other, making out and all that steamy stuff

after you have sex, the two of you are having that post-sex cuddle in his bed and your heart is pounding so loud

you: hey...I’m sorry if it was weird that I kissed you earlier at the venue, I don’t really know what came over me, I was just so glad to see you guys

eunwoo: you don’t have to apologize for that y/n...I missed you

you roll around so that your back is to him bc you do not have the strength to look at him in the eyes right now

eunwoo hugs your waist and pulls you in his chest, he’s spooning you and he has no plans on letting you go any time soon

you: uh...eunwoo, I-we-uh maybe we should stop this...thing from going any further

he literally freezes: ...did I do something wrong?

you: no! it’s...I...fuck I don’t know how to say this...I know we’ve been hooking up for a year but just recently I...think I have feelings for you...and it’s not fair for either of us to continue this if we’re not on the same page.

eunwoo: y/n, I–

you’re rambling now, you’re scared of what he has to say: and honestly you’ve become someone I really don’t wanna lose in my life. You’re an amazing person and friend, and I don’t wanna fuck that up by having feelings for you, especially since you probably don’t feel the same. I just...can’t have casual sex with you anymore...I’m sorry, it would break me.

you’re like trying to get up and you tell him that you’re going to go to the party your team’s hosting but he just tightens his grip

eunwoo: don’t go...please

you: eunwoo, I can’t stay here–

eunwoo: you don’t even know what I feel, y/n...why are you so sure that I don’t feel the same way as you?? because I do...honest to god, y/n, I like you so fucking much. the month that you didn’t talk to me was like hell and I don’t ever wanna experience that again. I missed you so much I thought I was going crazy...please don’t go.

you roll around and face him again

you: y-you like me? you’re not just saying that because you want to keep having sex?

eunwoo: I’m not just saying that because of the sex...I promise

you: so...what does that make us now?

eunwoo: well would you do me the honors and be my girlfriend?

god finally you two are dating

you realize that not much really changes after the two of you make it official

the pda does increase though, you actually hold hands and kiss each other in public now

and you two are more cutesy with each other

yes astro pretends to gag whenever they see you act all coupley

petnames!! you call each other baby, sometimes you call him minnie!! as in dongminnie !! im screaming!!

a poster couple, the basketball player and the cheerleader

literally when you’re both wearing your uniforms and you kiss each other, it’s like one of those teen movies

lots of forehead kisses especially right before bed

eunwoo’s a clingy cuddly boy, especially now that you two are together

lots of study dates?? he is a scholar after all

you’re each other’s biggest supporters !! you always go to all of his recitals and basketball games, he always goes to your competitions

he’s very soft okay, will never stop showing you off or telling you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you

the first I love you came shortly in the relationship, and that’s because you’ve known each other a year prior and the feelings were really just building up since then

you were in the piano room again and he was just playing for fun, but you always loved hearing him ~tickle those ivories~

he was playing a song and singing along and you swear you had heart eyes for him, his voice was so soft and gentle and just wow

you’re sitting next to him and you just hug his waist while he’s playing

eunwoo’s smiling so wide and then he’s singing to you

he doesn’t even get to finish the song, because you’re grabbing his face and kissing him

he’s laughing in between kisses and you can’t help but laugh with him

grrr he’s so cute!

and then you two are just looking at each other

eunwoo: hm?

you: I love you, minnie

he doesn’t miss a beat: I love you too, y/n

you and him have a lot of deep talks together, especially right before bed

it’s the time when he can just let out all the frustrations of the day and just be with you

he actually holds a lot of pressure and worries, but knowing that you’re by his side, comforts him a lot

the two of you have so many pictures together it’s so cute

eunwoo’s a bit possessive alright, not in the toxic way, but will he tighten his grip on your waist if a guy seems to be getting a little too friendly with you? yeah

not gonna lie, you get possessive too, it’s hard especially if your boyfriend is cha eunwoo, he’s the fucking perfect package god dammit

you both tell each other that you don’t have to worry about other people bc y’all are just both so whipped for each other

but it’s still cute when either of you are jealous

he’s actually pretty into couple items, but it has to be like minimalistic-style

like matching plain color hoodies or matching pajama sets

will not wear a “he’s mine, she’s mine” shirt or something

but it’s okay bc neither would you sksksk

will he wink at you if he makes a three pointer during his game? yeah.

literally loves when you wear his clothes or fuck, his jersey?? a turn on

and here we go !! I’ve been talking about sex so much but let’s get into it !!

in the beginning, like before you two started dating, when it was just your fuck buddy friendship, it was sexy

and not saying that it’s not sexy now that you two were in a relationship, but before it was just lust

eunwoo’s a freak alright, you can’t convince me otherwise

he’s a little kinky

definitely into food play, you two use whipped cream during foreplay a little too much...

100% into anal

you know how much he loves ass, has a very nice ass himself

and we already been knew, but yes he’s an ass guy

s p a n k i n g

eunwoo seeing you in your cheerleading skirt? immediate turn on

will literally fuck you while you’re wearing your skirt...just your skirt.

alright alright, you have a hand kink...was it awoken by watching eunwoo play piano all the time? yes

does eunwoo use that to his advantage? yes

the amount of times he’s fingered you??? vaginal and anal??? lord have mercy

very much into overstimulation, will keep fingering you until you squirt

and yes im bringing back my the choking kink

literally if his hands make any contact with your neck area, even when he’s just kissing, you will drench

but ugh you and eunwoo making out and you know how he like cups the back of the neck?? i know y’all have seen it from the true beauty kiss scenes, and then it gets heated and his grip just moves to the front and squeezes and when your mouth opens in a gasp, he shoves his tongue down your throat

that’s so sexy

do you like choking on his cock? probably more than you should

does he make you deep throat until tears are literally streaming down your face? most definitely

he loves marking you?? it’s just a tell tale way to show everyone you’re his

he’s a bit feisty...will he manhandle you during sex?? yeah

eunwoo is a dom. I am 100% convinced that he is a dom, you won’t be domming him honey

daddy and babygirl kink...I said it...

okay he’s a bit of an exhibitionist...would probably be down to have sex anywhere as long as you don’t get caught

piano room sex? locker room sex? library sex? movie theater sex? restaurant bathroom sex? yes you’ve done it all

will he finger you while you guys are having a movie night with the guys? yeah

eunwoo’s a tease, he’s a little shit, will tease you until you’re literally in tears begging for him to just do something

favorite position is doggy, it’s the view of the ass for him

although you two both do like experimenting different positions, especially if it has to do with “training your flexibility”

will pull your hair while he’s fucking you from behind, and will plug your asshole with his thumb–don’t knock it until you try it...it’s...a pretty good feeling

sometimes wakes you up by eating you out

very much a giver ugh king

the type to grip your thighs tighter when you try to push him away from overstimulation just to force another orgasm out of you

believe it or not, he’s a gasper/grunter/groaner

nothing is hotter than hearing eunwoo groan right when he’s about to cum oooof grrrr bark bark

okay but soft gentle sex with eunwoo is so passionate

all you feel is the love and sincerity, especially when he’s just looking in your eyes

the love making happens a lot more obviously when you start dating

he’s just so in love with you alright

gives the best and sweetest after care ugh

cleans you up, gives you massages especially if it was a rough session, cuddles you, draws you a bath, brings you water, everything

always makes sure to tell you he loves you after sex

i would risk it all for eunwoo like please ruin my life

anyway

ugh I just wanna put the idea of protective eunwoo during a party in your head

his hand is always on you. waist, thigh, shoulder, anywhere casually

you don’t fight?? but you do argue

arguing is healthy, and you both would rather let it out and bicker with each other in the moment than let it bottle in and build up into something worse

but when you do have a disagreement, no matter how big or small, you two always make sure to never go to bed angry with each other

communication is very important for the both of you

you’re his better half :’) all the things eunwoo struggles with, you help him with it and vice versa

he figured out you were the one for him during one of your deep late night pillow talks

he was worried about what he’d do in the future after graduating, like he was genuinely having a crisis about it

but you just talked so calmly to him: baby, no matter where you end up after graduation or what you end up doing, you’re going to be fine. You’re such a hard worker and I know that you’ll succeed...no matter what, I’ll be here for you minnie. I believe in you, you’re future is going to be great.

and he just kisses you so sweetly: will you be in my future, baby?

you’re smiling and you just giggle at him: if you want me to be...I’d love to be a part of it.

ugh y’all are so whipped for each other !!

astro always teasing you two, even when you’re all older

you and eunwoo are equally ticklish so basically y’all are fucked when they wanna mess with you

both of your families love you and him instantly

they push marriage immediately after you both graduate college

even astro’s like: we know you two are probably gonna tie the knot first...when’s the wedding?

not gonna lie, you and eunwoo probably get married probably 2-3 years after college, pretty young age

sidenote: eunwoo 100% cries at your wedding, especially when he sees you walking down the isle in your dress

and he has huge baby fever so you bet y’all had kids fairly young too

the best dad !! ugh he loves kids !! ugh so domestic

im just gonna say, y’all have beautiful children

trusts bin and jinjin to babysit your kids the most...he’s scared of the rest of the boys watching over his children

anyway eunwoo literally deserves the world and I just?? love him so much?? happy ending yay hehe

_________________________________________

2-21-21

852 notes · View notes

everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

big brother to the rescue.

BEN MILLER

TRIPLE FRONTIER. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! hope you're doing well :) i was thinking about a ben miller fic where when they're in the bar towards the beginning the reader is there with her friends and the boys push benny to talk to her bc he's getting distracted from conversation by her across the place. thanks a ton 💖

❝ words: about 1.6k.

❝ a / n: if you'd like to read a second part, lemme know! don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“C’mon, little brother. She’s been looking at you the whole night”. Will says palming his back, after catching him distracted for the third time.

“Go, before I do”. Frankie challenges him with a petty smile, knowing it’s going to be enough to force the boxer to take the step.

Taking a deep, deep breath, finding in that gesture the encouragement he needs, Benny goes straight to you, waiting for the bartender to serve you another beer.

At first, you don’t notice his presence, until the unknown guy stops by your side leaning too over the bar. You two cross your gazes, sharing a soft smile that makes your knees tremble. The blonde looks really good, but for some reason, you have the feeling that he could be an idiot, so when he throws at you one of those horrible pickup lines, you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna give you advice. Don’t hit a girl like that”. You just reply with a chuckle, referring to his words.

“I’m more into hitting men”.

For a second, where you were about to leave with your drink, you squint at him having a sip and trying to understand the meaning of his affirmation.

“I box, professionally”.

“Oh…” You nod your chin, puckering your lips, showing him that this fact doesn’t impress him at all. “Congrats. Good luck in your next fight”.

Not giving him the chance to continue the talk, you come back to your table under the attentive looks of your friends, who are laughing at the poor guy and the gesture on his face. His brothers, on the other hand, have slapped their faces whilst shaking their heads disappointed. As soon as Benny joins him, Santi slaps the back of his neck, causing him to choke in his beer.

“There must be something wrong with my eyes, ’cause I can’t take them off you? Really, Benny? Really?”

The guys are laughing when Pope repeats his sentence, as Will puts an arm over his shoulders. “You’re lucky to have me… Big brother to the rescue”.

Anna nudges you, making you turn on your stool to watch a second guy walking towards you, very secure of himself. The only thing you wanted tonight was to have fun with your friends and seems it’s not going to be an option. Crossing a leg over the other and nailing an elbow on the table, resting your chin on your palm, you force a smirk when he offers you a kind smile.

“Good nights, ladies, sorry to interrupt. William, a pleasure”.

The man holds your free hand without asking for it to stretch it. Firmly. Like only a soldier would do —as your father does. He turns for a second to his friends, laying his oceanic and hypnotic eyes on you with a charming and funny grimace on his face.

“Sorry ‘bout my brother, you know... too many punches”. He has captivated your friends, who are gasping for him and the honeyed tone he’s using, covered by a raspy voice. “He has watched you looking at him and he was nervous, but he’s not a bad guy. Just a little asshole. But he’s worth it, believe me”.

“Okay”. You reply slowly, raising an eyebrow earning your attention little by little.

“He has begged me to not come, but I think you’re too smart to not have a date with him”.

“Your brother was right, you didn’t have to come. And you’re wrong, more or less. I’m very smart, but having a date with him doesn’t seem a very intelligent idea”.

“Got it. But he’ll be waiting for you at seven in Kaleo’s, tomorrow night”. A negative it’s not an option to the soldier, showing you his perfect white teeth in a huge smile clapping his hands before leaving. “Good night, ladies. Have a good time”.

Since last night, you've been debating with your friends if you should go to the date just to prove both men were wrong. Lucy would call you crying if you text her in case the guy is another idiot.

The first test is to see if he'd wait for you, arriving thirty minutes later than the hour William told you. Your heart can't help but race a little when you find the blonde boxer sitting on the hood of a black Mustang, in front of the restaurant. Wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans, he has both legs crossed and his hands laced over his lap. Head bowed down and a sigh escaping his lips as he checks the clock on his wrist. Poor guy, he's thinking you are not going to come.

You send a picture of him to the chat group where your friends are asking you if he's still there and, in less than a second, you receive a bunch of heart emojis from all of them. Keeping your phone in a pocket, as you tuck in your hands too, you begin to walk towards him. Step by step. Taking your time with a soft smirk curving your lips as you come closer and closer. Watching him texting someone too, you roll your eyes, imagining it's to some random chick to hang out with, due you have stood him up. Until you're almost leaning above his shoulder and you see he's texting his brother —who is very interested in knowing if you're there or not. You melt as he replies: “amma wait another thirty minutes, maybe there's traffic”.

“You can say to your brother I'm here”. You whisper into his ear, taking him by surprise and causing the boxer to jump off from the hood.

“Oh, fuck. You scared the shit outta m— Where you readin' my phone?”

“Nah, I've some witch in me”. You lie terrible, feeling goosebumps on your arms when his gesture changes suddenly.

A grin like a Cheshire cat decorates his face, offering you his phone as he pressed the small microphone in the bottom right corner.

“Hey, big brother, I came. I hope you weren't wrong”.

“I'm Ben, by the way”. He introduces himself as keeping his phone in a pocket, to offer you his right hand.

“(Y/N)”. You stretch it then, feeling a little nervous at his touch.

“So, this is the plan. We have a beer, and if you think I'm a freak, you can run away before dinner. No questions, no explanations. You just… leave”.

God, that's really sweet. He's nervous too and you can see in his blue eyes how scared he is if you really decide to disappear.

“Deal”. You accept, tilting your head to the restaurant.

A couple of minutes later Ben is sitting in front of you and the first thing that captivates your attention is the fact that he doesn't put his phone on the table. Living in the technology era, everybody keeps an eye on their devices. Constantly. But he's not like everybody. He wants to talk. Know about you. What you do in your free time, what you do for a living, what unveils you at night… And you talk for hours.

Ben tells you what pushed him to be in the army, why he decided to dedicate his life to boxing and he also jokes about how you could fix him up after his fighting. Something like a plan of the future. Together. As friends —as he points out to not make you feel uncomfortable, thinking that he is forcing you to have a relationship. You also discover that your taste in music and movies are very similar, just like your hobbies. And that makes you think about the fact that William will tell you “I wasn't wrong”.

The boxer gladly takes you home, not stopping your chat even when one of the two of you doesn't know what to say, Benny has shown you in some way he enjoys too much the sound of your voice though —how it goes a little higher when you're excited about something, how your throat vibrates when you laugh. And he's falling in love with the disgusted tic that wrinkles your nose when you don't like something, in a funny gesture.

You would die for staying together a little more, but you have obligations to attend tomorrow and your friends haven't ceased sending your texts asking you how it's going. As Ben stops his car next to your house, you sigh not knowing what to do —if just say bye, thank you, ask for his number, kiss him? Yes, you'd like to kiss him right now, but what does it say about you? Should you wait until the second date?

“Got a fight tomorrow night if you're free”. His proposition pushes you back to reality, turning at him on your seat while resting a shoulder against it. “You can invite your friends, mine will be there”.

“Your brother too?” You ask giggling, noticing the change on his grimace to somewhat underwhelmed because of your interest.

“Yeah, he will come”. Ben mumbles pressing his lips after nodding briefly.

“Ugh… Is he the kind of person who has fun saying I told you?”

Ben's gesture suddenly changes again. The shine in his blue deep eyes reappears and you provoke him a strong laugh when you furrow your nose like he literally adores.

“You've had a good night then?”

“Yes”. You don't hesitate to respond, leaning towards him to press your lips on his cheek with a loud kiss.

“See? He told you”. Ben can't help but make fun of you, earning a soft punch to his shoulder that makes him laugh one more time. “It's in the Holou gym, at seven”.

“Okay, I'll not forget it”. You reply, taking your phone and setting an alarm an hour before starting to have time to get ready. “Good night, Ben”.

“Good night, (Y/N)”.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221

TRIPLE FRONTIER: @phoenixhalliwell @goldielocks2004 @pedritomando @spideysimpossiblegirl @im-an-adult-ish @chibsytelford

#triple frontier imagine #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier #benny miller x reader #ben miller #ben miller x reader #benny miller

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years ago

Note

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

#snail anon #csdsc #sunflower anon #turtle anon #eyes anon #tea anon #peacock anon #alien anon #bear anon #THAT WAS A LOT #anyways next time im just gonna spam you all fsfsgdsgd

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tobi-momo · 4 years ago

Text

A Comfortable First Date :)

@awmahleebakugou said:

okay so i’ve never asked before (god i hope your requests are open, i’m sorry if they’re not) but i found you just now and your writing gives me life. i hope i’m not missing any rules, but i wanted to req a kind of first date scenario (the date can be your choice but i’m thinking something out of their comfort zone that the reader kinda eases them into having fun and they actually end up having a good time) with bakugou, todoroki, and dabi. a fluff type thing with a fem reader. they don’t have to be all in one, they can be separate but i really wanted to see your take on this with bakugou. thanks for your time, and i hope you can do this req cuz i love your writing :)

a/n: dflhgdfjhgdfkjgh you make me malfunction omg- i jut started writing a couple weeks ago and to hear that you love my writing makes me smile so hard kfsdjgdfkjg omg ty <3 and, lucky for you, my requests are def open and feel free to come back any time! (if you do want to see my rules tho here’s a link: rules<3 (you didn’t req anything out of my comfort zone tho so dw )

Pairing(s): Bakugou x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Dabi x Reader

Type: Headcanons

Genre: Fluff :)

Warnings: cursing, youre uncomfy for a lil- but it gets better- FLUFF SKDJGFJSD dabi’s is SO mf short im sorry skhgdlfg

A Comfortable First Date :)

Bakugou:

Man are you glad yall came with ya friends-

You were excited, but anxious. you have never been on a date before, let alone the one and only bakugou katsuki, so ya. you were nervous asf

On the ride, the radio played loudly while you rolled the window down and caught the warm breeze in your face, you were just wildin out in the car, making katsuki laugh in hopes of relieving some stress

when you arrive, it was a different story. there were so many people and the water was dark, and this is gonna be his first time seeing *this much of your body. Your nerves were not helping

“Yo, Y/n, you nervous or somethin’?” Calls Sero, averting your attention from the packed beach

“Uh, no, not at all,” you smile walking over to the trunk of the car, picking up towels

kirishima and mina walk together to find a spot, denki and sero leave you and katsuki alone and immediately start throwing the frisbee around

‘god this was so awkward’ you thought, although it really wasnt, it was just in your head

“Here, give those to me,” katsuki whispers as he takes the towels from your grasp, taking notice of the way you rub your fingers together, the way you keep looking at the ground

He can tell that youre unsure, but he knows that you wont be like this for long- i mean- its bakugou, right?

once yall get to your spot, kirishima and mina catch up to you guys, talking about whats more manly yall cant convince me they dont do this- im convinced mina teaches him how to drink his respect women juice although we know he drinks plenty

You dont even have time to realize katsukis arms around your things, picking you up and throwing you on his shoulders

You play smack his back, laughing and yelping at the same time while he runs towards the water

“kastUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” all he can respond with is his laughter before he sets you down gently in the water

“What, you thought I was gonna throw you or somethin’?” he smirks

“Uh, YEAH? I DID! You scared the crap outta me, babe,” you laugh off, the water suddenly feeling a lot better than you thought it would

He’s still laughing, almost gripping his stomach while kirishima and mina join sero and denki with the frisbee

The face he makes when you splash water on him is-

hmmm

How do i say it

flabbergasted? no. thats a weird ass word. He was like that tho

His face was like 😂 > 😳 > 😶 > 😐 > 😑 > 😐 > 😏😈

yk? yk

He splashes back

hard

so skip to an hour later when you guys are tackling each other in the water holy shit this is soft i cant

yall are having a mf BLAST and yall ended up playing beach volleyball too- have yall seen the episode in avatar where azula, mai, ty lee, and zuko play beach volleyball?

ya basically that but yall actually have fun and its more playful- but yall DESTROY the other teams

you guys end up staying longer than expected and you sleep in the car on the way back with his hand on your thigh but shhh

Todoroki:

ok, this may be dif because i believe movie dates are awkward asFF and i just jfhfkg ugh yk

but anyways~

yall arrive to the theatre, buy your snacks and get your ticket ew ew ew ew

and you literally dont know what to do-

where do you sit? where do you put your hands? what do you do for the rest of the movie? all of these questions filled your head when you guys entered the room, it was empty

great.

You guys take your seats, the commercials starting while you guys start small talk

you and him make fun of the trailers while you guys are literally sitting down like 🧍🧍

So awkward even though yall are talking- like, who takes popcorn first, who gets to put their arm on the middle rest? just overcomplicating everything in your brain

until a skittle falls down your shirt sorry if you dont like skittles but cmon their skittles

coming out the bottom of your shirt, you pick it up, then look at shouto’s soft, playful smirk before he looks away like he didnt do anything

that cheeky bastard

so, you throw it back, knocking his head then falling down the seat to the ground

he looks back at you with and incredulous expression- not a serious one, but a look of sarcastic surprised

when his hand grabs popcorn out of the bucket, your eyes widen and you quickly leap out of your seat, running out of the isle and up the stairs to the top row of seats, being chased by shouto, and eventually trapped in the corner before getting a face full of popcorn

“Shou!” you laugh out, and you can hear the faint sound of his giggles piercing through yours

Your hands are placed on his chest, and his have dropped down your forearms, holding you in place while you laugh into him

“What?”

“There’s popcorn in my hair now,”

“Oh,” he takes a gentle hand and takes the popcorn out of your hair, tossing it to the side

“This place is a mess now,” he adds

You just laugh it off, taking notice of the fact that the movie has already started

“Shou, the movie,” you point, him turning around to the big screen

“The movie’s boring”

“It’s barely started!” you chuckle

your voice was interrupted by more popcorn hitting your face, and Shouto holding the bucket

“You did not just do what i think you just did.”

“Maybe,”

“I’m gonna get you back for that!” you shout as he starts to walk back to your seat, you grab the box of candy and quickly open it, pouring everything on his head before rushing down the stairs to the other side of the room

lemme just say yall were kicked out PFT JSDHGFSDKJHF

ok but yall didnt care shsdlfsfg

you hung out more after that too, not wanting the day to end :)

Dabi:

why

on your first date

would you go

CLUBBING??

like- why???

when you arrived, you really do be FINE AS FUUUCKK and everyone is thirsting over you periodt get into it

and when you see him, his eyes widen, admiring your figure

you just smile bc you’ve never been to a club before and set your bag on the counter, taking a seat at the bar next to him

what do you do? are you supposed to order something orrrrrrr? are you supposed to talk? are you supposed to dance with him? like wtf

the most awkward feelings are making home in your stomach

just before you could rush off, his hand grabs yours, making your head whip up for your eyes to meet his, silently reassuring you

You smile before he stands up, and leads you to the dance floor, guiding you with your hips to the music

you place your hands on his shoulders, letting him sway you to the beat, before you turn yourself and dance on him, forgetting your problems

he smirks, running his fingertips down your back while you move your hips on him

after a couple drinks you guys were clicking, like really, really, really, clicking and you felt good

so did he, and he wanted to know you more, so after a couple more dances and drinks, yall were giddy and shi 😏

And yall decided it was time to get to know each other more😏😏😏

when you guys woke up with a hangover, you made him breakfast and yall talked ab everything under the stars omg yall are made for each other istg

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

thats it im sorry dabi’s is so short i just chugged rosé and im hanging out with friends be happy <3

taglist: @toosharkinternet @hitosushi @combat-wombatus @katsuhera @zerohawks

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yamagucji · 4 years ago

Text

love letters from cupid.

dear lovely anons,

i cherish every bit of interaction we have. im extremely grateful to know that there are people out there who read and enjoy my works. hm, hope you know that i care about each of you. honestly sometimes i just wanna make a post dedicated to each of you but idk!! if you’ll see it or not. hopefully this bit is enough to let you know how much i appreciate every single one of you. thank you.

dear readers,

thank you for reading my works. it’s comforting to know that there are people out there who will check out something that i’ve slapped on together with every bit of my effort. to those of you who have consistently supported my works in silence- you know who you are. im just... keeping my distance because ya’ll are really just minding your own business while i get giddy about seeing you pop up in my notifications again. im hoping to get around and send a ty note to as many special readers n special ppl on this blog. but im a little shy, so i hope you’ll give me some time. seeing you in my notifications from time to time makes me happy; sometimes i do wonder if you’re still here and in good health. i hope you all are right now. thank you.

dear dani,

what a wonderful being you are. never regretting the first time i *shyly* asked if there was anyone that wanted to be friends here. i probably already talk about my love for you and vera so much but who’s gonna stop me? you’re such a cool person. i look up to you (literally). i think it’s amazing to get to know a person who has a lot of passion for history like me. but also- screams about 2d men with me. truthfully, this site is much more bearable having you as a moot. i feel very comfortable talking to you, about anything at all. lomve you, you’re the best.

dear mayya,

kindness personified. im sure you’ve made a plethora of people smile with every rb and comment you’ve given; including me. i think it’s very refreshing to see such genuine comments. you radiate this calm aura that im always seeking for. thank you, for providing me (and many other people) with that. a little embarrassing that you see my uhm, messy sideblog, but... it’s comforting i think. to know that someone is listening. i hope that you understand it goes the other way around too— that i’m here for you.

dear hrituja,

my partner of chaos. when did it start? i can’t remember. all i know is that every little thing you send me on instagram really makes my day. i’ll have bad days and all i need to do is look at the silly stuff you sent me and get a laugh out of it. i think it’s cool that we’ve been able to build this space where we can talk about anything (literally), poke fun of each other, and also ourselves. you’re cool. i genuinely like hearing you go off about ace. if i could meet a moot it’d probably be you unless you’re secretly a fraud and you’re actually just a 80 yr old man looking for a sugar babie. in that case im in.

dear oz,

you overly sweet bean. i genuinely watch you in awe from afar, just by how talented and hardworking you are. your art is amazing, and i always look forward to the design you make for your oc’s outfits. thank you for understanding me, and for being patient with me. i care about you a lot, so if there’s ever anything that’s occupying your mind and you need to let them out, i’m here to listen. ps. i really don’t know any other mutual who listens to *that* comfort stuff like i do so im really thankful to have someone to talk about them with. you can always share your interests with me too, especially with your dearest tendou.

dear tate,

im such in awe of you. just the fact that you devote a lot of your time into writing and setting up the theme for your blog astounds me. not to mention, your art skills as well. i am still very much in love with that bokuto piece you made with the hanging leaves. i hope you know that bokuto loves you just as much as you do to him. i know you’re writing up something special atm, so i’m really looking forward to it. thank you for all the time you’ve spared just to send me an ask. it truly does mean a lot to me. it feels like someone is listening, and i’m very appreciative of having you as my dear mutual. please know that i’m here to support you too, with the best of my abilities.

dear winx club,

[ @wissbby @kageruna @pinkbunnyplushie @astrooliver @lovingtobio @kenmaki @lfjr @lcsbianist ]

im such a clutz, but thank you for dealing with me. i was little nervous to start up such a discord server because im bad at staying in one. though, the warm environment that you all provide makes me feel much more at ease. i think it’s funny popping in to the server and seeing a few people spamming the chat with hugs, headpats and kisses. it’s sweet, too. being in a group discord can get overwhelming for some people, so i appreciate you all for having that patience. another thing- thank you for understanding each other’s boundaries. its hard to be aware all the time especially when you’re interacting with people you don’t know to at a very personal level. im glad that you all helped each other make the space comfy. i look forward to more chaotic and genuine talks with all of you in the future. maybe we’ll still be in touch with each other after a long while? who knows. but im going to cherish every single moment i get with you all.

dear @nishinoya-is-baby @keitsukki11 @sullen-angel24 @smolbludandelions @whootwhoot @cheatingthroughthislife @tadashi-simp @oikaw-ugh @lostsealscreams @sleepykarabou @atsunflower @lfjr @globe-fish @bewwybun @tetsoleil @sleepykarabou @justcafewriter @rin-suna @atsumusc0ck @waitforitillwritemywayout @dorkyhaikyu @yemilnisu @sunseteyes @kenmaki @kenanami,

goodness, i would write you all individual messages if time let me. but, i hope this is alright. i just wanted to thank you all for interacting with some dummy like me because that shit takes real patience </3 y’all are some really cool people and im really glad to have you as a moot. im ngl im pretty sure i’ve stopped by all your inboxes just to forget to actually send an ask :’( or maybe im too shy. one or the other. hopefully i can come around to all your ask boxes soon and fill it with my love because it’s what you all deserve. ya’ll are such amazing and talented people. for the love of god- you have all my love and care in the world. i hope that these past few weeks have been gentle with you, but if not, please let yourself rest from whatever it is that may be putting you down. here’s a gentle reminder that im always here to listen, and i wouldn’t judge you for whatever it is it may be. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope to return that as well. take care.

@insanitywrites @derpeedoo @killuababie @lespaghetti @ordinary-ace

i haven’t told you this until now but, thank you for giving me company and comfort during a time that i was deeply struggling.

ps. if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes no u did not see that <3

#cupid speaks #some...#very important ppl in this blog #i love them.

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levis-hazelnut · 4 years ago

Text

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): mentions of sex, mentions of abuse (not too much)

Taglist (closed!): @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19 @20coldhearts

Status: completed!

part 6 > part 7 > part 8

series masterlist

(a/n: i love reiner, but he’s gonna be a dickhead lmao im sorry)

"We're so stupid. How did this even fucking happen? Why? This all so stupid," I muttered and started to pace around my room. Eren stood up, noticing he was completely naked as a blush crept onto his cheeks before he chucked his clothes on. He grabbed my shoulders to stop me from pacing the room and freaking out. I shrugged his hands off of me and stepped back from him, avoiding to have any kind of contact with him, not even eye contact. "... I don't remember anything, all this thinking is hurting my brain and worsening my headache. I need coffee." I rushed out of my room and into the bathroom, freshening up before going into the kitchen to make myself a coffee. My mind was all over the place as I tried remembering at least something that happened last night.

Hanji. She might know something.

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee as I sat at the dining table, not wishing to look at Eren who walked in. He also made himself some coffee before sitting opposite me as silence filled the room, along with awkwardness.

"... (Y/N). I'm sorry." "It's not your fault," I murmured. "I was meant to make sure this didn't happen. How ironic." "Do you remember anything?" I asked, finally deciding to look at him to see that he was staring into his mug as steam dispersed out of it. "Kind of..." he mumbled, and it was obvious he didn't want to reveal the truth. However, I wanted to know. His turquoise eyes flickered up to me and he saw I was expecting him to tell me. He let out a huff before telling me. *FLASHBACK* Eren sat on an armchair in the living room, where our friends were scattered, drinking, laughing, talking and some were dancing. As he sat there after having a couple of drinks, I came and sat on his lap, holding a glass of some drink Eren didn't know, he only knew that it was alcohol and that I drank quite a bit. "(Y/N), how much have you drunk?" "Huh, I'm not sure," I mumbled to which Eren had sighed. "... Do you think I should've accepted Lucius? I do think he's the second sexiest male I've met. And he's such a gentleman. You know, we held hands when we went ice skating and he helped me skate. He also caught me and picked me up when I slipped or fell. He's so sweet... But then, there's Levi. He's the sexiest person I've met--" "If you don't want to expose yourself, I think you should stay quiet." "I can't see them so I don't think they're anywhere near us. Anyway, as I was saying... Levi may be cold and dull when you first meet him, but once you get to know him more, you'll fall in love with him. I'm pretty sure that's happening to me because I've never felt like this about anyone else. Not Jean, or-- What was my other boyfriend's name? Whatever it was, he was a dickhead for cheating on me and I don't know why I even dated him. Is it me, or is it the people I choose that's wrong...? Eren, do you think I'll ever find a good guy who will love me without cheating, or hurting me?" I asked, all my words slurred. "You will. You treat everyone right, it's just that boys are idiots. Remember?" "Yeah... Boys are idiots," I murmured with a smile. "Apart from you, Eren. I love you and your eyes. You've always been there for me. You always make me happy if I'm in a bad mood. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind being with someone like you. Someone that treats me right and always puts up with me, no matter what stupid things I do. You're so beautiful, inside and out... Hanji!" I suddenly shouted and she came towards me and Eren who were still on the armchair. "Could you get me a bottle of wine, please?" "Hanji, don't," Eren whispered to her and she nodded. Once Hanji left, I changed my position on the brunette's lap and started to grind into him when a song I love started to play. "Mm. I love this song." "... (Y/N)--" Eren cut himself off and bit down on his lip as he felt a groan threatening to leave his lips. "Stop," he uttered quietly and threw his head back, giving in to the pleasure. "Why?" I inquired innocently, leaning in close to him, closing my eyes as my lips edged closer to his. I felt something press against my lips, however, it wasn't lips. Instead, it was Eren's index and middle finger that prevented me from kissing him. "Kiss me, Eren," I whispered, running my hands through his silky locks. "You're drunk, (Y/N), stop. You're going to regret it later." "I don't care," I stated before smashing my lips onto his. He didn't respond so I ground into him once again and tugged on his hair. A guttural moan vibrated against my lips and he soon reciprocated the kiss, his lips moulding with mine perfectly. I don't know what it was, but this kiss felt so good. Felt so right. Felt so special. I soon parted from his lips since my lungs were short of breath, but I wanted more. I don't know where this lust was coming from, but I needed to satisfy it. I stood up from Eren's lap, taking his hand and leading him into my bedroom. He tried going past me to leave, telling me this was wrong. I ignored him and locked the door with the key before putting it into my bra so he wouldn't try to get it. I pushed him onto my bed, crawling onto him after I discarded my dress. He propped himself up on his elbows and we kissed again, this time more passionately. *END OF FLASHBACK* "Damn, why was I so horny? Ugh, and people probably saw what happened. Oh my god, does that count as sexual harassment? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Eren. I'm an idiot, I hate my--" "(Y/N), don't say you hate yourself; that's the reason I didn't want to tell you. And it wasn't completely harassment since I kind of gave consent. We were both drunk, you more than me. I could've stopped everything, I'm sorry." "... Did we use protection?" "Yes. You, for some reason, had condoms in your bedside table." "Well, just be glad I did. At least we're a little bit smart," I muttered. "... Do you remember... the sex?" "... Yes..." he replied. I facepalmed the table and groaned, in pain since I already had a headache, and because I was embarrassed. "... It wasn't... bad," Eren mumbled, head turned away from me. My head shot up. "What'd you say?" "Nothing." I smirked, seeing a blush on his cheeks. I knew what he said but I wanted him to say it again so I could annoy him about it. As I was going to say something, Hanji had strolled into the room, observing me and Eren. Me, who was smirking, but looked as if I was dying. And don't forget about the hickeys that Eren gave me. And there was Eren, who was blushing, looked a little tired, and refused to look anywhere but his coffee. "Eren and (Y/N) had sex," Hanji spoke to herself. Mine and Eren's head immediately snapped towards her. How did she figure that out so quickly? She literally looked at us for like two seconds and she knew. Damn, there's something incredible in that brain of hers. "What are you talking about?" I inquired. "First of all, Eren's here and I don't remember him knocking out in the living room. He's blushing, you're smirking, you've got hickeys, and the atmosphere is uncomfortable." "Wow. She's amazing," Eren whispered, and I snickered. "Is she as amazing as the sex?" I smirked, deciding to tease him. "Tch. So, you did hear me... I hate you." "I didn't seem like that last night, though." "Shut up." "You know I'm just joking with you, Eren." "You were annoyed and freaking out a moment ago. Why are you fine now?" "Well, it's not like I'm a virgin. Neither of us cheated on anyone. And, at least I didn't sleep with someone else like Lucius or Jean, or--" "Wait, so you guys did have sex?" Hanji said, slightly surprised. "Yeah. Eurgh, when I say it aloud it sounds so weird. Me and Eren had sex. Ew, Eren, get away from me, this is so weird." Eren finally allowed a smile to spring onto his lips when he saw my reaction. I questioned his smile which he shook his head to, claiming it was nothing. Once we both (kind of) got over everything, I decided to make breakfast for the three of us. I still had a shitty headache and I tried ignoring the pain, however, that was difficult. I felt so tired and disgusting and just wanted to have a shower. "How was it?" Hanji asked Eren and I. I rolled my eyes as he just remained quiet. "Do you even remember?" "No," Eren answered before I could. "We were both intoxicated, but the events may come back soon." "Do you regret it?" "..." Hanji smirked at our silence and I started to become flustered. I thought I regretted it. Why don't I say I did? Was it because I... don't regret it? No, you're thinking too much, (Y/N), I told myself. I suddenly shot out of my chair and declared that I was going to have a shower since I feel disgusting and I need to clear my mind. I went into my room, grabbing a towel and some fresh clothes to change into before entering the bathroom. Once I came out of the shower, I found Hanji and Eren sitting on the sofa, just talking. I sat down next to Hanji, feeling too embarrassed to sit next to Eren.

It'll take me a while to completely get over it, though, I may still act casual around him. However, today, I know that it's going to be on my mind most of the time. "(Y/N)?" Eren called, snapping me out of my daze. I glanced at him, my eyes flickering down to his lips before averting them from his face as a whole. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine. My head kind of hurts, and I feel so sluggish even after having a shower." "And you can't stop dreaming about last night," Hanji murmured with a smirk. "I can't even remember so I have nothing to think about," I replied, arching a brow. "Hey, what time did everyone leave?" "I think about one o'clock. Levi and Petra stayed a bit longer because they helped me clean up since I was going to ask you but your door was locked. Don't worry, we didn't hear anything, these walls and doors are amazing, you can barely hear anything." "Yeah, I know... Ugh, I just need painkillers and sleep," I groaned, slumping onto Hanji who didn't even try to nudge me off. "Why don't you get that then?" "I'm not bothered," I murmured, closing my eyes as my forehead rested against her shoulder. She patted my head a couple of times as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I lazily got it out, reading the caller ID before groaning and shoving my phone into her hands. "Hanji, tell him to fuck off. I'm not in the mood for people." "Not even Levi?" "Not even that asshole," I told her, and she answered the phone, speaking a loud 'hello'. "(Y/N)'s in the bathroom. Call her tomorrow. Bye, Shorty!" she hastily said before hanging up. "Hm," I smiled tiredly. "I love you so much, Hanji." "Eren, she's literally falling asleep on me. Could you take her to her room?" Hanji whispered, and he nodded before standing up and scooping me up, carrying me to my room and laying me down in my bed. "Thanks," she grinned when he came back into the living room. "I think I'm going to go. I need to shower, change my clothes and rest." "Oh, okay. Sorry if (Y/N) put you through anything yesterday, by the way. I know she was the one to provoke this, not you. And she'll end up hating everyone and everything today before going back to normal tomorrow." "Yeah," Eren chuckled lightly. "Make sure she looks after herself," he told Hanji softly as he put his shoes on, causing the female with glasses to smile, noticing how much the brunette cares for you. "Okay. Also, don't feel bad for anything, this was her fault." "Do you think she's annoyed?" "I don't think so. She's going to be fine, don't worry about her. Anyway, I'll see you in a bit." "Bye, Hanji," the male grinned before leaving. ~/~ "What the hell was up with Hanji yesterday?" a certain raven questioned through the phone. "I'm sorry... I actually told her to tell you to 'fuck off'," I replied, biting down on my lower lip. "Why?" he spoke bitterly. "... I wasn't in the mood. My mind was clouded, I had a massive headache, and I was basically falling asleep when you called me. I'm sorry, if it was anyone, even my parents, I would have told Hanji to do the same. It's not about you, Mr Moody, I don't hate you so don't you worry." "Idiot. And why were you in that state anyway?" "Uhh... I drank too much?" I said, more like a question rather than an answer. "Yeah, right. Tell me the real reason whenever you want." "So, why did you--" "Babe!" another voice, which was not Levi's, called from his side of the phone. I then heard some footsteps before the same voice sounded. I knew whose voice it belonged to obviously, but I was just confused by the fact that she was there when Levi was clearly at home. Well, I don't know if it's the apartment he shares with Isabel and Farlan, but I could guess he's somewhere inside and not public. "What do you want for breakfast?" Yes, it was the morning, which made me think of things I didn't wish was true. Levi was at Petra's quite early, so that could only mean he slept over... They're a couple. Why should I get bothered by it...? Oh no, here comes my jealousy. And it's coming in strong, I'm going to have to keep my bitchy side at bay until after this phone call.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)!" "Oh, sorry. What did you say?" "I didn't say anything. You were asking me something." "Right... Um, what was my question?" I muttered to myself, my brain only thinking about Levi and Petra. "... Oh, yeah! Why did you call me?" "I wanted to check up on you since you drank quite a bit on Friday. I'm guessing something happened, but you don't want to spill yet." "Aw, aren't you a sweetheart?" I teased, and I heard him click his tongue. "I'm fine, thanks for caring. And, do you have something else to tell me?" I inquired. "... No." The pause. That's how I knew he was hiding something. He slept with Petra but doesn't want to say. I mean, I don't want to say I slept with Eren since we aren't even a couple, so he's going to annoy the hell out of me, being the Levi he is. But he has nothing to hide because Petra is his girlfriend. "Well, then, I haven't had breakfast, neither have you. I'm sure you're in need of some coffee or tea, or just something to cure your fatigue since I'm sure you barely had any sleep last night," I said before I could stop myself. And my tone wasn't playful, it was spiteful and I'm certain he could hear it. "What just happened? Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure you were smiling a minute ago. Why are you annoyed now?" So you aren't going to say anything about how I implied you had sex and just focus on my tone? You aren't even going to deny it. I would've much preferred it if you just said something about it and lied. I retracted the phone from my ear, taking a deep breath before returning it to my ear. "... I'm not annoyed." "Are you sure about that? Are you going to be sulking and frowning, or smiling tomorrow at uni?" "Depends on what happens today. Like, if someone unintentionally triggers me, I'll probably be sulking and frowning." He sighed. "Did I say something that unintentionally triggered you?" "No. I'm saying it hypothetically. Anyway, Hanji's calling me to have breakfast, so I'll see you tomorrow. I'll try to smile." "Okay. Bye, darlin'. Sorry if I did or said anything." I cut the phone and dropped it onto my bed before getting up to meet Hanji in the kitchen. "What's up?" "Levi and Petra had sex, I think." "Oh... Did he tell you?" "No. That's why I said 'think'. However, I have my evidence: he's most likely at her apartment right now, in the morning of all times of the day, so it could only mean he slept over." "... Why did he call you anyway?" Hanji inquired, ridding of the previous subject. "He claimed he was checking up on me because I 'drank quite a bit on Friday'. I don't know, but something's just not right about the whole conversation. We were both clearly hiding things from each other, and I doubt he would call just to check up on me." "He's done that before, though." "Yeah, but that was because I was basically dying on the inside. Anyone would check if I was okay if I was in that state." "True." "Anyway, let's forget about him and enjoy the rest of the day," I smiled, brushing my problems away.

I could do that, just forget about Levi because there's simply nothing between us, so he has no obligation to tell me everything. There will most likely be nothing between us, so there's no point in dwelling on him, wishing that he could fall for me. Just forget about him. ~/~ "Hey. Wait. No. Don't. Not yet." Eren glanced at me suspiciously, wondering why I was behaving so weirdly. The thing is, he was about to ruffle my hair but I moved away from him, not wanting him to touch me after the whole sex thing. You see, I remembered some of the events that occurred, and randomly, they pop up in my mind, distracting me from whatever I would be doing. And I don't want him to touch me yet since my mind needs to go back to normal, even though it has already been a week.

"What's wrong with you?" he questioned, frowning at me. "... No touchy-touchy. I remembered everything that happened, so my brain is messed up right now and I don't like it." "Sorry." "Tch. Stop saying sorry, idiot. Nothing's your fault," I told him. "... I never knew you were the submissive type," I smirked, deciding to tease him once again. Yeah, I may not want him to touch me, but joking with him is different and I love seeing him get shy. "My break's over, you can go back home." "You still have five minutes until your break ends. That means another five minutes of me annoying you." He huffed, closing his eyes for a moment before revealing his gorgeous, turquoise orbs. "Why can't you go bother someone else?" "Because I'm by myself. The only company I have is you. And I know you love me, so don't try pushing me away." "Where's Le-- Oh, shit. What's he doing here?" Eren mumbled, with his eyes on the door of the cafe. I was about to turn around to see what he was looking at, but he stopped me. "Don't look." "Why? What's there?" "More like who's there." "Tell me, you jerk." "... Reiner," he said quietly. "Reiner...?" I echoed, my eyes widening. Eren's mentioned Reiner before, but we never spoke about him in detail. All you know is that Mikasa cheated on Eren with Reiner. You also know that I've had two boyfriends - one was Jean, and the other, if you haven't already guessed, was Reiner. Reiner and I had dated between the end of secondary school and the start of university. It was only about five months or so. Yeah, neither of my relationships lasted longer than half a year. Either because I'm a monster or both males were idiots. Eren claims they were idiots, but he's my best friend, so why wouldn't he say that? Anyway, I'm not bothered to go into detail about our relationship since it isn't all that exciting (except the fact that he beat me up, but no one knows about that, so hush). I'm going to skip to when I found him cheating on me with Mikasa. Yeah, the other time Eren saw Mikasa with Reiner was probably the third time they hooked up or whatever. I'm sure Mikasa has also cheated on Reiner but he has no idea. That was the first time he cheated on me (I think), I cut things off then, because I believe that cheating isn't a mistake, it's clearly a choice, even if you are intoxicated. He wasn't too happy with the breakup, he claimed he still loved me (which, in fact, was the first time he said he loved me), but my bitchy side locked in, we argued. And that jerk slapped me. Of course, I wasn't going to stay with him. And that is the story of my second relationship. Yeah, I know, there's a lot of drama in my life, but, to be honest, it would be boring if I had no drama. "He knows you work here. Why the fuck is he here?" "(Y/N), stay calm." "Hey, you can't be telling me that you're okay with him even after--" "I'm not. But there's no reason to overreact or create a scene. I doubt he's even going to come up to us." "You've changed. You would always be up for a fight." "Eren and..." that deep, low voice of my ex-boyfriend spoke. "My (Y/N)." "Who the fuck do you think you are, calling me yours after cheating on me, you asshole?!" I snapped, shooting out of my seat and turning around to look at the brawny, blonde male. I'm not taking anything from this dickhead. He smirked, urging me to punch him in that (maybe kind of hot) face of his. "I haven't seen you for what? Ten months? Why are you being a bitch?" I glared at him, digging my nails into my palms pretty deep, I'm pretty sure I was bleeding. I stormed closer to him, however, a hand gripped my wrist, preventing me from beating him up. "Eren, what are you doing?! Let go of me!" "Don't stoop down to his level." "Eren, please, let go," I whispered, tears brimming my eyes. The brunette's eyes widened since he barely sees me cry in emotional pain. "I never told you how much he hurt me," I muttered, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn't have to say anything else for him to understand. The glint in his eyes turned dark and cold, a deep crinkle formed in between his eyebrows and his lips curved downwards - something I barely ever see. He was extremely enraged, like damn... "What are you going to do, pretty boy? You think you can even land a punch on me? You couldn't even defend yourself against your own girlfriend. Oh, sorry, I meant ex-girlfriend." "Did you beat up (Y/N)?" he asked quietly in a menacing tone as he stood in front of me. "Yeah, so what? Move out of the way, I was talking to (Y/N)." "I don't care." "Oi, (Y/N), tell this fool to get out of my way before I knock him out." "... E-Eren, move... This i-is my problem." "I know. But what kind of person would I be if I don't protect you?" "Go!" I shouted, not wanting him to get hurt in my place when Reiner stepped forward to kick Eren. I shoved him out of the way and braced myself for the blow. However, nothing hit me so I opened my eyes, finding Reiner in a headlock. The person doing that to him? Prince Charming - Levi Ackerman. "What the fuck do you think you were trying to do? Don't ever try hurting (Y/N), or there will be consequences," Levi threatened darkly, voice low and laced with venom. He let go of the blonde, kicking him to the ground and he was soon unable to move when the raven dealt more damage. He then rested a foot on Reiner’s chest and folded his arms over his chest as if nothing had just happened. More tears fell from my eyes and I jumped onto Levi, thankful for him being here on time. I looped my arms around him, and he was about to say something, hesitating to hug me in return. However, I seemed to have gone through something traumatising, so he wrapped his arms around me, comforting me. God, I always thought that Eren's hugs were amazing. This was the first time I hugged Levi, and I never wanted to pull away. "T-thank you so m-much, Levi," I murmured into his chest. "... What happened? Who is this?" he said softly, it was a tone I've never heard him talk in before. "..." I was unable to speak again as I just sobbed. "Reiner Braun," Eren answered for me. "I'd rather not speak about him right now," he mumbled, his gaze on the ground, feeling guilty for not doing anything. If Levi hadn't come then, I would probably be covered in injuries by now, so he felt useless. "Is your shift over?" "No, I was on my break. I'm also going to have to calm everyone down in here." "Sorry. If the police come, since you know a lot more about this dickhead than me, explain to them what happened and make sure he gets taken away. I'm going to take (Y/N) home." "Okay. Please, keep her safe." Levi only nodded, his arms slowly slipping from my trembling form. I gripped his shirt, keeping my face concealed in his shirt. "(Y/N), let's go. I'm sure you don't want to stay here." I didn't respond in any way. But my trembling did halt when I felt a hand slip into mine and I heard a reassuring 'it's going to be okay'. I wiped my tears away (though, they kept on pouring) and I let Levi take me to my apartment, which was only five minutes from here. My hair hung down the sides of my face, hiding my red, tear-stained face. "Did you get hurt anywhere?" he questioned, to which I shook my head. The rest of the brief journey was silent until he asked me for my keys. I gave them to him in his free hand since his right one was still gripping my left one. Once the door was open, we both stepped in and took off our shoes, which meant that I had to let go of his soft hand. But now, I was feeling a little better. The sobs and tears stopped and my breathing calmed down. "Are you okay now?" "I guess," I muttered, avoiding to face him since I'm sure my face was covered in tears and snot, and that's not appealing. "... I'm going to go clean myself up. You can go if you want." "I'm going to stay until Hanji comes. Where is she anyway?" "She's at Erwin's, and she's going to be staying there until Sunday." "So you're going to be by yourself?" "I'm old enough to stay home by myself, you know." "Tch. I know. But I don't want to leave you like this." "... I'll be fine." "You can't lie to me after what I just witnessed. Anyway, go wash your face or whatever." I proceeded to my bathroom, washing my face as Levi told me to. I stared at my reflection and my eyes were vermillion, along with my nose and cheeks. There was a bit of snot and I just looked in such a poor state. I wasn't even that sad, I was more like angry, and the memories of Reiner doing things to me came back. Everything was just overwhelming me and I couldn't take it anymore. Once I fixed my appearance, I went to the living room to find Levi sitting on the sofa. He was on his phone until I walked in and he glanced at me, seeing a small smile settled on my lips. I sat down next to him when he gestured for me to. "What happened? I have never seen you in tears like that. The only time I've seen you cry was last week on your birthday, but those were happy ones." "... Can we not talk about it right now? I need to just clear my mind." "Sure. What do you want to do instead?" "You don't need to keep me company. I'm sure you have better things to do." "Darlin', it's Friday, the only thing I want to do is relax. What's the point of going somewhere else if I'm going to be doing the same thing?" "So you're going to keep me company over the weekend?" "I don't know. What do you want to do?" "I have nothing in mind. I just don't want to go out anywhere." "Watch a movie?" "I don't mind. I'm not going to be concentrating on anything we do, so might as well just watch a movie as I drown in my thoughts." "Okay, I know what we're doing," Levi announced, sitting cross-legged on the sofa and faced me. "You shouldn't hold everything in, let it all out. I don't care if you're going to cry, you just have to get it off of your chest, otherwise, you won't feel better." "But--" "I'm not listening to your excuses. Talk." "Can I get a snack first?" "Yeah." I got up and went to the kitchen, finding something to snack on that I can share with Levi as well. I found a tin of assorted cookies, got myself a glass of milk and went back to the sofa, placing my things on the coffee table in front of me. When I felt his gaze lingering on me, I decided to speak. "Should I tell you what's on my mind, or just what happened today?" "Whatever will make you feel better." "Okay," I smiled, enjoying this caring side of Levi. "Well, I'll start with what happened last week. Remember when you called me and you knew I was lying about something?" "Go on." "Well, the thing is, I may have... sleptwithEren." "... Okay." "Okay?" I frowned, thinking about why he was so calm about it. But, the pause was there, so maybe it wasn’t just ‘okay’. "Nothing big. People have sex, even if they aren't in a relationship." "... So that happened, and I don't like it. It's weird and I've remembered everything now, it occasionally pops up in my mind. Nothing happened the rest of the week, everything was fine." "Everything was fine? What was that sudden mood change on the phone?" "..." "If it's not going to bother you or stay on your mind, you don't need to tell me." "Yeah, it's fine. Let me go on to the next thing: Reiner Braun, as you now know is that blonde guy. He's my ex-boyfriend, we dated for five months. During those five months... he abused me. I don't even know why, but he would beat me up at least twice a week, it was as if he made a routine. I never told anyone about what he did to me, not Eren or Hanji. I was, somehow, able to put up with it until I found him cheating on me with Mikasa - Eren's ex-girlfriend. That's when I broke us up, but he wasn't happy with it. He came into the cafe today and decided to start a conversation with me and Eren like nothing happened between us. I snapped at him, Eren intervened and was going to hurt himself so I stepped in. That's when you came. Thank you, by the way." "Anything else?" "I like--" Woah. Hold up, mouth, what are you doing? Were you just about to confess to Levi? You idiot, now he's going to question who I like. "You like...?" Levi lifted an eyebrow. "Nothing! No one!" I suddenly exclaimed before sighing. "... Forget I said anything." "Why would I forget? You finally decided to tell me who you like." "I'm not telling you. No one's allowed to know." "Why? Do you think people are going to judge?" "Not really... It's just that I shouldn't like them, I guess?" "At least you're finally admitting you like someone, instead of denying it. A few more months and I'll know." "Yeah... Probably not. Depends on what happens." "Okay. Anyway, do you feel better?" "Yes. Thanks." "Tch. Stop thanking me." "Can't I be grateful for your help and comfort?" "No." "Fine, then, Mr Moody," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "So, what do you want to do now?" "Up to you, darlin'," the raven said, uncrossing his legs before lying down across the sofa, with his head on my lap. I had the urge to run my fingers through his luscious locks and place a kiss on his cute nose as he closed his eyes, looking innocent and sweet. "... Ackerman," I spoke after there was a moment of serenity. "What?" "You basically know everything about me - about my past, friends, family, relationships, current problems. Literally everything about me. However, I barely know anything about you." "And?" "Tell me about yourself. It's nearly been a year since we met and I don't even know who you're family members are, where you met Isabel and Farlan, any previous relationships. But you don't look like someone going through problems right now, so you can leave that out." "It's only been seven months." "Yeah, whatever, still nearly a year, kind of." He unlidded his beautiful, silver hues and sighed very lightly, it was almost inaudible. "Fine. What do you want to know first?" "Uhh... Family." "Okay. My mother's name is Kuchel. I don't know who my father is. I have an uncle, Kenny, he's an asshole, however, he did help me and mother when we had financial problems. I don't have any siblings, and I've never heard of any cousins or other uncles and aunts." "Oh, wow. You don't act like an only child. I feel like you would be a caring and helpful big brother, who pretends to hate their little siblings." "Tch. I'm glad I never had to deal with brats. The only brat I've had to deal with is you." Won't he be a caring father? I joked internally. "So rude," I pouted and he playfully rolled his eyes. "Anyway, tell me how you met Isabel and Farlan, or any other friends I've never heard of." He hesitated to reply, making me frown briefly before he finally spoke, "... I've known Farlan for a long time, maybe since I was about ten. Isabel, I've known since I was seventeen, so not that long... I had some other friends I shouldn't have gotten involved with since they weren't good people..." "Why? What did they do?" "... They were those kinds of people that smoked, did drugs, went to some stupid parties, somehow snuck into clubs, they would shoplift, and they did like that." "Did you do drugs and steal?" I questioned, my eyes widening. He huffed, slightly shaking his head. "How old were all of you?" "This was when I was about sixteen." "Damn, were you in some gang or something?" "No. I mean, it was a gang of those people, but they weren't that bad." "What do you mean they weren't 'that bad'?" "Well, they were. However, they never hurt or threatened someone. I pushed Farlan away when he tried to stop me from befriending them, but I didn't listen to him and he decided that I would learn that the choice I made was a mistake. I did learn that. I left them when I realised how much wrong they were doing and that Farlan was right. He didn't turn me away when I went back to him, telling him that I understood when he told me they weren't good people. I got my mind straight, avoided any other people like them, and focused on my mother, friends that were a lot better, and education. Soon after, I found out that they were all caught doing drugs and sent to juvie. And I met Isabel when she transferred to our school halfway through the year and we were the first people she spoke to." "Wow... I never knew you associated with people like that. You always seemed like a good person." "Yeah," he sighed heavily. "I'm not going to do anything like that again. I was stupid, immature and I didn't think about anything then. It was just that stage when boys want to be part of the 'cool kids'." I smiled down at him, wishing I could give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Did you have a girlfriend?" "No. Petra's my first, real girlfriend." "What do you mean 'real'?" "... I may have hooked up with a couple of girls during that period." "Damn, Ackerman, you're a player," I teased. "I'm not," he stated sternly, a serious expression cast over his face. "I've changed in the past three years. Farlan always watches out for me, even though I don't need him to since I'm not a fucking kid." "That's good to hear," I grinned, booping his nose with my index finger, causing him to scrunch his nose up cutely. God, that was probably the cutest thing I've seen. "Do you want to know anything else?" "Not really. I'm probably going to find out you were in the mafia when you were eighteen or some shit like that." "I don't have a lot of drama like you do. I'm glad about that because I won't be bothered with that shit. I hate people, I try to avoid them, I don't want anything to do with humans." "Which is why you're lying down here after helping someone?" "Tch." "Does that mean I'm not one of those people you hate?" "Shut up." "Aw, you're so cute," I giggled. "I love annoying you." "Same, darlin'. Watch out." "Haha, you won't annoy me because you love me!" A smile etched onto his lips as I continued to tease him, being the annoying person I am. We ended up pestering each other for about half an hour before I gave up because he can irritate me in a way I can't explain. He knows exactly what pushes my buttons. However, now that I know more about him, I can annoy him about more things. Everything soon fell silent, and I grew tired, eventually falling asleep in a sitting position as Levi's head still rested on my lap. He carefully got up, making sure not to awaken me as he got a blanket, covering me with it after slowly making me lie down. I shifted slightly to lay on my back, biting back a smile so Levi doesn't find out I was awake. ~/~ I woke up to the sound of murmuring, narrowing my eyes before rubbing the fatigue in my eyes away as I sat up and twisted my head around, spotting Levi in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his phone pressed to his ear. His grey orbs glanced at me as I gave him a tired smile. I saw that it was dark outside when I looked out of the window, standing up to stretch before walking up to him. "Yeah, she just woke up," he said to whoever he was on the phone with. I arched an eyebrow, silently questioning who he was talking to. Why did this person need to know what I was doing? "I will. Okay, bye... It was Eren. He was just asking how you were, being the perfect boyfriend for you." "Not my boyfriend," I muttered, getting a glass of water for myself. "I don't believe that after finding out you had sex." "Hey, I just woke up. Stop bothering me," I grumbled, running my fingers through my hair before gulping on the water. "What do you want for dinner?" he asked, pushing my grumpiness to the side. "This is my apartment, I should be asking you." "Well, I'm going to stay until Hanji comes back on Sunday." "You don't need to." "You're right, I don't need to. But I'm going to anyway." "Okay, whatever, I can't stop your stubborn ass." "So what do you want for dinner?" "I'll eat anything." "Okay. Get out of the kitchen, I'm going to make something." "I'm going to have a shower. You can have my room, I'll sleep in Hanji's. And I'll leave some clothes for you." "Thanks." I smiled at him, leaving the room to go to my bedroom to get a towel and a onesie to change into after my shower. I was kind of long in the shower, just zoning out and thinking about several things that happened today. After, I slipped my onesie on and wrapped my hair in a towel. I trod out of the bathroom and back into my room to dry my hair and brush it. Once I did that, I picked up my phone, stuffed it into my onesie pocket before looking for some clothes for Levi. I found two t-shirts and a hoodie of Eren's, a pair of shorts, and two pairs of joggers. Knowing they were clean, I folded them and placed them onto my bed, along with a towel in case Levi would want a shower. Padding into the living room, I saw that Levi was still in the kitchen that had an amazing aroma. I walked behind him, peeking over his shoulder to see what he was making. He slightly turned his head to see me before turning his attention back to the stove. I moved to the living room, plopping down onto the sofa, taking my phone in my hands, seeing two missed calls from Hanji. I decided to call her back, seeing as how she may be a little busy later. After about ten seconds, she answered the call. "Hi, (Y/N)!" "Hey. Did you need anything?" "No. Just wanted to check how you were doing since I'm sure you're missing me already." I laughed softly. "Wow. I was actually going to call you earlier... Um, I may have interacted with Reiner..." "What?! When? Where? Are you okay?" I explained everything to her, including the abuse I had never told her about. She was clearly shocked, and slightly annoyed that I didn't tell her this whole time. "Do you want me to come back home?" "No, no... Stay with Erwin. I'm fine." "Are you sure? He won't mind." "Yeah, don't worry... Levi's going to stay until you come back..." I muttered, knowing the raven can hear me, but I didn't want to say it as if I was happy about it. "AWW!! I love him for you! He's so sweet and cute and such a gentleman to you! He doesn't act the same to me." "Hanji, stop. You know you're just fantasizing since..." I paused, trying to figure out how to say 'he's dating Petra right now' without Levi knowing what I was talking about. "It's very unlikely right now," I said. "Why am I the one getting excited? You should be happy sometimes." I scoffed. "I am happy. You're just over-the-top with everything--" "Darlin', dinner's ready," Levi told me, putting food onto two plates for himself and me. "Okay. Thank you," I smiled at him. "Anyway, Hanji, I'll talk to you later." "Aw, he made dinner for you! That's adorable! Okay, bye!" I hung up, leaving my phone on the sofa as I wandered over to the dining table, joining Levi. Both of us talked and laughed throughout dinner, once again, teasing each other, which just concluded with me getting agitated. Once we finished our food, I washed our dishes as he set up a movie for us to watch since we weren't tired at all. I mean, I did have a nap so I wouldn't be tired yet. Though, I don't know how Levi isn't tired. Once again, I fell asleep on the sofa towards the end of the film, and this time, Levi did as well. I used his shoulder as a pillow and tucked my legs in, covering my form with the blanket we shared. When he was asleep, his head drooped to the side, resting against the top of mine. We were both asleep, not knowing our position. But I'm pretty sure if someone were to walk in, they would think we were a couple.

30 notes · View notes

koushou · 4 years ago

Note

Could we get uuh,,, Todoroki x f!reader who is insecure abt their looks bc they look more "boyish" than most girls? 😳 As much as I love being an androgynous queen, I get insecure sometimes, esp when it comes to guys liking me

this is my first ask im 😳💕💕

beautiful

pairing : todoroki shoto x f!reader {fluff}

warnings : none really, like the teeniest suggestive ending, just todoroki being like the best bf ugh 😩

a/n : thank you so much for requesting anon!! i tried my best, im so sorry if it isn’t exactly what you wanted but shoutout to all the androgynous queens you’re amazing !! <3 (also can you tell im terrible at titles pls)

shopping mall dates with your friends were always something you looked forward to, shoto knew this well. so why had you come back to the dorms empty-handed?

The familiar ringtone playing from your phone woke you up from your slumber, as bright sunlight shone through your windows where the curtains did poor job of providing you with any coverage. You opened your eyes and would’ve immediately shut them if not for the music still coming from your phone on your nightstand.

Swinging a hand blindly over, you felt the cool screen of your device and brought it close to your face, as an all too familiar contact name displayed on the top of the screen.

Grumbling slightly, you pressed the answer button and brought it up to your ear.

“Y/N!! Are you still sleeping??” You almost wanted to hang up right then and there from the cheery girl’s voice ringing into your ear.

“Mina, it’s-” You glanced over at your alarm clock on the same nightstand, “-literally 9 in the morning, what do you want-”

“Come on! You remember we have another shopping day today, right??”

You rubbed your eyes and rolled over in bed on your side, away from the blinding light illuminating through the glass windows.

Shopping dates with your girlfriends in Class 1-A took place almost every weekend, something you always looked forward to. Hero training was stressful, everyone was always striving to further improve and expand their quirks and skill, almost never having time for any sort of break.

Truthfully, you had forgotten about your planned day with the girls today, since it had been a pretty tough week, with work piling up on top of one another, heck, you were barely keeping up your grades.

“Oh...right.” You ran your fingers through your somewhat messy, medium-length hair, attempting to comb it slightly and getting rid of the small knots that had been formed in your sleep.

“Hey, don’t tell me you forgot - anyways, we’re meeting up downstairs at 10, so see you later!!”

“Yeah, alright.”

Quiet beeps signaling the end of your short call with Mina, you sighed and wondered how the alien girl managed to stay so hyper in the morning, not that you were surprised anymore.

Sitting up in bed, you let out a yawn and stretched out your body, excited for the day to come.

On some days, you just wanted to sleep in and have a day all to yourself in the comfort of your small dorm room, but these shopping sprees with the girls always took your mind off any troubles on your mind.

Throwing your blanket to the side lazily, you get up from your bed and groggily made your way to the bathroom, phone still in hand. Flicking on the light switch, you cringed at the sudden brightness.

A notification noise sounded from your phone, a smile spreading across your face as soon as you saw who the sender was - your one and only white and red haired boyfriend.

Unlocking your phone, you were met by a few text messages from your lover.

shouu <33 : good morning love, have you woken up yet?

shouu <33 : you’re going out today with the others right? i wish you could come and be with me, but i hope you have fun.💗

Your heart could not handle this level of cuteness in the morning.

Turning on the water to get ready for your morning shower, you typed out a reply to your boyfriend.

good morning shouto 🥺 i just woke upp

imy so much as well, i promise i’ll be with you when i get back!!💕

You stripped off your clothes and hopped into the shower, the water more on the warm side, exactly how you liked it.

After about 20 minutes, you stepped out with a towel wrapped around your torso, the cool air hitting your legs, making you shiver slightly. You made your way over to your closet in the corner of your room, picking out what clothes to wear.

It was scorching hot out, and you were feeling lazy, so a simple black t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts seemed like a good choice.

The time was about 9:40 when you had finished brushing your teeth and mindlessly slapping on some sunscreen, you didn’t want to become tan, after all.

Internally crying, you shoved your wallet with your credit card inside your small purse you usually brought when you went shopping, making a note to yourself to cut down a bit on your purchases.

You knew that promise was going to go out the window as soon as you step foot in a store, but hey, you always felt better after coming back to the dorms with bags of clothing in your hands.

Deciding to head down to the common room earlier to grab a quick snack to eat, you received another message from your phone.

shouu <33 : i’ll be waiting for you, love.

shouu <33 : are you sure you don’t want to use my father’s credit card? i don’t think he would really care if it gets maxed out, you know.

You giggled at your boyfriend’s message even though you knew he was being 100% serious.

shou...bby, i cant do that-

shouu <33 : alright then, be safe and text me when you get there, okay?

i will! ily <33

shouu <33 : i love you too :)

When you reached the common room, you were met by pink, black, green, and brown haired girls.

“Y/N!! Good morning!!”

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Hey Y/N-chan, ribbit.”

“Oh hey Y/N!”

You smile at your energetic friends, Mina, Momo, Tsu and Uraraka, who were all lounging on the couches.

“Good morning, guys.”

Mina lets out a whine, “Where is Jirou? That girl is almost always never on time-”

“What’s that, Mina?”

A voice from behind the girls spoke, causing everyone to jump and turn at the same time.

“O-oh good morning Jirou-”

The purple haired girl stood behind the couches, and your eyes scanned over her outfit. A white, loose short sleeve hung around her shoulders, paired with some black shorts. A simple outfit, yet she made it look so much more appealing.

She charged towards Mina, who was now desperately hiding behind Uraraka. It was then that you finally took notice of the other girls’ outfits, and suddenly became all too aware of your own.

Mina, with a pink shirt tucked into her jeans, a black belt as a finishing touch. Her curves showing perfectly, all in the right places. You would expect her pink hair to be messy and puffy, but it was tamed, neatly brushed, and reminded you of soft cotton candy.

A cropped maroon top, with black jeans, complementing Momo’s smooth, black hair which was put up in a lower pony tail than usual. Her gentle features sure to attract admirers wherever she went. The way her dark bangs framed her face, the way her smile was bright, genuine - an appearance of a true, proper lady.

You glanced down at your own outfit, trying to smooth out wrinkles in your own shirt. No genius was required to see that you obviously stood out in your group of feminine friends, you being the only female with short hair and a different style.

It wasn’t that you hated the way you looked, but it made you think sometimes that you weren’t as attractive or liked as much, compared to your friends.

“Well then,” Uraraka clasped her hands together, interrupting your thoughts, and grinned. “Shall we get going?”

You all cheered, getting up and ready to head to the shopping mall.

Mina locked her arms in yours and dragged you out of the doors, grinning at you while the other girls trailed behind.

“Come on old ladies! We’re gonna max out our cards!!” She yelled at the sky once you were outside, the hot summer air hitting your skin immediately.

“Hey, who’re you calling an old lady?!” You smacked Mina’s arm, making her stick her tongue out at you.

“Fine, whoever gets there last is an old lady!!”

Your pink haired friend takes off toward the mall which was located about 20 minutes away from your school, with you laughing and running after her, followed by your other female friends.

The negative thoughts you had on your mind previously vanished as you all ran after one another, not giving a care in the world to the questioning looks passersby shot your ways. Spending time with your friends always somehow managed to brighten your mood, regardless of whether they knew how you were feeling or not.

And your love for them could never be put into words.

6 girls arrived at the Misako Mall, panting, out of breath as they bought water from a vending machine.

“Oh-” You pant, fumbling with the buttons on the machine, inserting a few coins in and watching as the bottle falls to the bottom.

“Ura-ha..ha...Uraraka, you’re an old...ha...lady!” Mina teased the gravity-quirked girl in between breaths.

“Yo-you’re so mean, ha, Mina,” Uraraka coughed, sputtering as she practically shoved the water bottle down her throat, drinking half of the bottle in a few seconds.

“Slow down - ribbit - Ochaco-chan,” Tsu patted the said girl’s back, making sure she didn’t choke.

“Well, guys, where do you want to go first?” Momo spoke up, after you guys rested a bit on the benches in the lobby.

“I kind of wanted to check out the accessories in that shop we passed earlier,” Jirou scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, nodding towards a shop near the entrance of the mall.

You all turned to look at the store she was talking about, not surprised to see the exterior of the shop decorated in dark, emo-style accessories - exactly Jirou’s style.

“I want to go there too - ribbit,” Tsu nodded in agreement, this time shocking the group, since Tsu had always seemed to be into more cuter accessories.

“I was actually interested in that one over there,” Momo tapped her chin thoughtfully, gesturing towards a high-class looking store on the second floor of the mall.

“That looks nice! I really like that white dress they have in the front,” Uraraka stared dreamily at the level above you guys, and an idea popped into your head.

“Why don’t we split into pairs? That way, we can all check out the stores we want to and meet up back here when we’re all done!” Your suggestion earned approving nods from the rest, all of you agreeing to text in the groupchat you had when you were finished in your stores.

Tsu and Jirou, Momo and Uraraka, and you and Mina walked off into different directions of the mall, chatting excitedly.

You and Mina decided to first go into a casual-styled store filled with jeans, tops, jackets, etc.

Walking into the store, a friendly cashier at the counter greeted you guys, who you both smiled back at.

Thankful for the cool air conditioner providing a contrast to the burning weather outside, you scanned the racks for anything that caught your eye.

“Oh! Y/N look here!” You turned to where your pink friend had ran to, spotting her a few aisles down.

Making your way towards her, she holds up a light pink, off the shoulder top decorated with small flowers and a lace ribbon in her hands eagerly.

“Do you think this would look good on me? I really like the color!” She beams at you, holding the clothing item up to herself, admiring it in a tall mirror nearby.

You study it for a second, before smiling back at her and nodding excitedly in agreement.

“It suits your skin color so well too! You should go try it on!”

“You think so??” She grins at you happily as you chuckle back in response.

“You should pick out some clothes first, then we can go to the changing rooms together!”

“Okay, let me look around a bit more!” You walk off to the other side of the store, studying any clothes that may peak your interest.

A striped red, orange, and white button-up shirt catches your eye, hanging on one of the racks. You take it and hold it up to your torso, satisfied with the way it looked.

Keeping it around your arm to try on later, you decide to pick out a few more clothes to try on to avoid making multiple trips to the changing room. Just as you were about to turn around and continue your search for more clothes, you felt a figure approach behind you.

“Hey, uh, sorry to bother you but I thought you were really pretty, and I was wondering if I could get your number?”

A voice made you turn around, and you were met by a man who looked a bit older than you.

He was standing right in front of you now, his eyes staring at...the top of your head?

You cleared your throat awkwardly, not expecting the sudden question.

“Oh! Thank you, but I have a boyfriend already, I’m sorry-”

The man’s eyes finally focus on your face, before laughing at you.

Wait, what?

You furrowed your eyebrows at the still laughing man, who looked down at you like you were a mere piece of dirt below him.

“I’m not talking to you, you’re not even pretty?” He scoffed when you gaped at him.

“I’m talking to the hottie behind you,” He grinned and stared past you to whoever was standing there.

You slowly turned around, expecting to see some random stranger behind you, but you were met by a puff of familiar pink hair.

“O-oh, Mina...” You mumbled, not wanting to make eye contact with your friend, disheartened from the man’s words.

You were never one to get bothered by anyone’s words, especially not from a stranger, but this one hit you differently.

“What did you say to my friend?! You wanna repeat that, huh?!” Mina yelled at the man, steam almost emitting out of her pink ears.

“Woah, calm down, pinkie, I just wanted to get your number - I didn’t know she was your friend.” He chuckled, and glanced at you again.

“Just saying, you could do so much better.” It was like bullets, the man’s words, aimed straight at your heart.

Storming up to the man, Mina slapped him directly on his face, leaving both of you in shock.

“Say that again, I dare you!!” You ushered Mina away from the furious man despite her protests of wanting to beat him up.

“Hmph, who does he think he is?!” You stopped walking when you guys were a good distance from the stranger.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your emotions and not make a fool of yourself in a public space.

“It’s fine, I-I don’t really care,” Sighing, you gave Mina a small unconvincing smile, which she saw right through.

“Are you okay, Y/N? Don’t listen to him! He’s just blind,” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

You chuckled softly, trying to change the subject, “I’m fine, come on, let’s go try on our clothes.”

Mina sighed, eyeing the one top you had on your arm. “You only have one shirt? Don’t you want to try on more?”

You scanned the racks around you guys, randomly picking a pair of black plaid pants, flashing your friend another smile.

“It’s okay, there’s not much I like here,” You grabbed her arm and led her into the changing rooms, chuckling at her pile of clothes hanging over her arm.

“You sure got a lot, Mina.”

“Their clothes are really nice!!”

Mina and you went into rooms besides each other, and you could hear the girl squealing while trying on her clothing.

Instead of trying on your clothes immediately, you slumped against the white door, taking a deep breath, the man’s comments still on your mind.

You’re not even pretty.

You could do so much better.

Wrapping your arms around your torso, you looked in the mirror on the wall across you, taking in your appearance.

There were few things about you that would seem appealing to any man, and you should’ve gotten over the stares people give you wherever you go by now, but it was hard.

It really was.

Of course people would be attracted to Mina first, or anyone in your friend group, for that matter. She was outgoing, kind, bright, and feminine.

Tears poking at the corners of your eyes, you quickly wiped them away with the back of your hand before they fell.

Why couldn’t people just accept who you were?

Why couldn’t people accept the fact that you were happy in your own body, and that you loved yourself the way you were?

The common stereotype that all females had to be feminine, had to be proper, you were tired of it.

A loud knock from the other side of the door you were leaning against sounded, and you jumped a little, before hearing your friend’s cheery voice.

“Y/N! Are you finished? I want to show you the top!”

“Oh- One second!”

Quickly tidying up your appearance to get rid of any hints of your silent breakdown, you unlocked the door and looked over Mina.

You were right.

The light pink color of the top really did complement her skin color well, her slender shoulders were exposed, and the lacey ribbon around the collarbone area of her shirt gave it a finishing touch.

Gasping, you admired how good it looked on her, while she giggled and jumped excitedly in place.

“It looks so beautiful on you Mina!!” You gave her a small hug, giggling along. “It’s like it was made for you!”

“Thanks!! What about your clothes?” She nodded towards your top and pants still sitting in the changing room, untouched.

You coughed, “Oh- uh give me a second, I still need to try on the top,” She nodded and pushed you back into the room eagerly.

“Show me when you’re done!”

You nodded and smiled back at her before walking back into the room and locking the door behind you.

You had already lost all interest in shopping today, but reluctantly changed into the striped button-up shirt, looking at yourself in the mirror.

It was okay, nothing really special, and you certainly wouldn’t be spared any second glances from anyone. Not that you cared, you were already in a happy and healthy relationship with Shoto.

Shoto.

A thought suddenly popped into your mind.

What did Shoto think about your appearance? Coming from a rich family, it was only natural that he would be into proper, feminine females.

Why was he even dating you? Does he actually mean it every time he calls you beautiful?

Maybe you should change your hairstyle. Or the way you dressed. Maybe then, Shoto would love you.

Maybe then, he would think you’re beautiful.

Running your hand through your short strands of hair, you suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore.

You wished you were in the safety of your dorm, under the blankets where no one would have to look at you.

You were probably an eyesore, walking around everyday at school, getting judgmental looks from left to right.

Shaking your head, you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, straightening yourself back up.

Unlocking the door again, wanting to get this day over with, you were met by a excited Mina as she looked over at you. You noticed that she had changed back to her own shirt.

“You look great Y/N!!” She hopped excitedly over to you as she admired your top.

You shrugged, glancing down at your top. “I mean, it’s okay, I guess.”

She raised her eyebrows at your response, asking worriedly, “Do you not like it?”

“Not really, it’s kind of plain.” Sighing, you picked at the sleeves and wrinkles of the shirt.

“Oh,” Mina pursed her lips together, cocking her head to the side. “That’s alright, then. What about the pants?”

Truth was, you had forgotten to try on the pants while you were inside, and you didn’t want to risk purchasing something you weren’t sure would look good on you.

“Oh-uh, I didn’t like that one too much either,” You glanced back at the item still hanging in the changing room.

“Oh no,” Mina pouted. “Are you going to buy anything?”

Biting your lip, you shook your head. “Guess not.”

It wasn’t really that you didn’t want to buy anything, you just thought that at this point, it didn’t matter what you wore.

Because, you weren’t as feminine as other girls.

"Give me a second to change back, and we can go to another store.” She looked like she was about to say something, but decided to close her mouth and nodded instead.

The remaining time you spent with Mina was just her jumping around stores excitedly and you mindlessly staring at clothes you wouldn’t ever buy.

It was about 2 in the afternoon when you all decided to meet back up, ready to head back to school.

You realized that you hadn’t bought a single item in the past 4 hours spent in wandering around the mall.

“Y/N! Did you not buy anything?” Momo asks worriedly as you and Mina approach the other two pairs in the lobby.

You shook your head at the tall girl, sighing, “Nothing really caught my eye today.”

“Oh, we can walk around a bit more together if you’d like!” Uraraka offers, holding a large bag in her own hands.

You smiled at her words, shaking your head again. “No, it’s alright! I’m sure we’re all tired, let’s head back.”

“Gosh, this weird man came up to us earlier and had the audacity to call our little Y/N here unattractive??! And then proceeded to ask for my number??” Mina huffed, clenching her fists dramatically at the memory.

You chuckled awkwardly. “Mina, you didn’t have to slap the poor man.”

“Poor man? By the sounds of it, he hasn’t learned his lesson yet.” Jirou speaks up, cracking her knuckles, eyes darkening. “Where is he?”

You laughed. “Jirou-”

“Oh dear, that’s terrible.” Momo patted your shoulder. “You’re very beautiful, Y/N, you know that?”

You smiled at the kind girl, letting out a deep breath.

“I understand where he’s coming from, though...” You mumbled quietly.

“Did you say something, Y/N?” Uraraka asks from next to you.

Shaking your head quickly, you link your arms with the brown haired girl, grinning at everyone. “Let’s head back now!”

Pushing open the large glass doors, you were met once again by the humid air, the sun’s rays burning down on your exposed skin.

The girls chattered happily about their new purchases, peeking inside the others’ bags and taking a couple out to show.

Even though you walked in the middle of Uraraka and Momo, you couldn’t help but feel left out, not having any new clothing to wear.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nudged Momo, making her turn around and look at you.

“Hey Yaomomo, what’d you get?”

She smiled and opened her bag for you to peek inside, and you almost had to close your eyes from the amount of bling inside,

Bling, meaning dresses decorated in gems, with a few jewelry pieces and other accessories. Of course, there were a couple casual wear on the bottom of the bag.

“Oh, I’m not even surprised anymore,” You pretended to huff at Momo, turning the other way.

“You’re so classy and fancy, Yaomomo, are you trying to flex your class on me?”

She laughed, slapping your back lightly. “Oh sorry, I just can’t help that I’m so rich and proper.”

You tensed up at her words. Of course, you knew she was being sarcastic, but her use of words hit the same spot in you again as earlier.

“Hey guys...” Mina starts, wiggling her eyebrows.

“What?” An ominous feeling settles in all of your stomachs.

“Last one to the dorms is an old lady!”

All of you groan, watching as the pink alien girl takes off once again, having no choice but to follow behind.

6 girls arrived back at the dorm building, panting once again.

“Mina- ha, I swear to - god,” You breathe out, pants coming from all six of you.

Mina just giggles at you as you all arrive back in the common room. Your classmates are sprawled out in different places throughout the room, and their heads all perk up simultaneously at the new arrivals.

Bakugou were surrounded by Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero, as always, trying his best to swat them away.

Tokoyami and Aoyama were chatting in the kitchen, while Iida, Midoriya and Shoto hung around the TV, watching whatever movie was put on.

Ojiro, Koda, Shoji, and Sato were nowhere to be seen, you guessed they were up in their own rooms.

“Oh, hey guys! Welcome back!” A certain red-head’s voice chirped from the middle of the room, flashing you all his big smile.

“Hey Kirishima!” Mina smiled back at the boy before making her way up to her own room to organize her newly bought items.

Momo, Tsu, Jirou, and Uraraka followed after her, while you made your way over to where your boyfriend was on one of the other couches.

“Hey, love.” Shoto smiles at you softly as he opens his arms for you to give him a hug.

“Hey Sho,” You happily accept your place in his arms, tired from the long day you had. “I missed you.”

“I missed you as well,” He plants a small kiss on the top of your head. He was about to say something else before a realization dawns on him.

“Love, did you not buy anything?” You gulp, afraid that your boyfriend would see through your feelings and ask you what was wrong.

“Oh- uh, I just didn’t feel like anything caught my eye today!” You shrug, hoping that he would accept your answer and move on.

Of course, Shoto could be dense at times, but he is everything but stupid.

He always knew how you adored these little shopping sprees with your girls, and never once had you arrived back empty handed. On top of that, your vibe just seemed a bit...off.

“Can we go to your room and cuddle? I’m a little tired,” You look up at him, to which he responded by giving you a small kiss and chuckling.

“Of course, let’s go, love.”

After saying goodbye to Iida and Midoriya, you both made your way to Shoto’s dorm, immediately flopping down on the bed after stepping inside.

Shoto laughed softly at your eagerness, wasting no time and following in after, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing you flush against his chest.

The warmth and vanilla scent of your boyfriend was enough to calm you down and get rid of any past bad thoughts you were having earlier that day.

You felt him bury his face inside your hair, inhaling softly your shampoo from this morning. Normally, you would’ve swooned at the action, but it somehow made you feel uneasy. Insecure.

Shriveling away a little from his body, you were met by a very confused Shoto staring back at you.

“...Love?”

You bit your lip, not sure how to explain why you seemed uncomfortable.

“I-,uh, Shoto?” Your eyes made contact with his as he hummed in response. You decided it was now or never.

“Do you...think I’m pretty?” Biting your lip anxiously as you awaited his answer.

Confusion flashed through your boyfriend’s face. What kind of a question was that?

That was what he wanted to ask, until he noticed the tears forming in your eyes, and worriedly sat up, bringing you with him.

“Of course I think you’re pretty. You’re beautiful, darling.”

Not convinced, you sniffle before asking again, “Really?”

He furrows his eyebrows together, lifting you up and onto his lap so you were straddling him now, both of you in a sitting position.

“Did something happen, love? Why are you asking me these questions?” He reaches up to wipe a stray tear that had slipped its way through your eyes with his thumb.

“No reason-” You started, but your boyfriend’s piercing gaze told you he wouldn’t take that as an answer.

Taking a deep breath, you avoided his eyes as you began to speak.

“Today, when we were at the mall, a man came up to me, called me pretty, and asked for my number-”

Shoto raises his eyebrows, to which you wave away quickly.

“-I thought he was talking to me, but turns out he was speaking to Mina, who had been standing behind me. He then called me-” You cleared your throat, a bit anxious for your boyfriend’s reaction.

“He said that I wasn’t pretty, and that Mina could do so much better than being friends with someone like me...” Your voice trails off as you felt Shoto’s grip on your waist tighten.

“He...what?” You could’ve sworn you saw flames flicker behind Shoto’s eyes, his left and right hands heating and cooling on your sides without thinking, to which you yelped a little, surprised by the temperature change.

His eyes softened, looking down at your waist and rubbing it softly. “Oh- I’m sorry, love, I did not mean to hurt you.”

You shake your head, smiling at him. “You didn’t hurt me at all, Shoto.”

He exhales deeply, looking into your eyes. “Baby, you’re the most beautiful, kind, amazing girl I’ve ever met in my life. Don’t ever listen to what anyone else says, you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.”

Shoto plants a deep kiss on your lips, tears threatening to spill over at his touching words.

When you pull away, there’s still a lingering thought in the back of your mind.

“Don’t you ever wish - that you had a more...you know...” You rubbed your eyes, sniffling as the first few tears made their ways down your cheeks.

Shoto tilts his head to the side as he pulls you closer to his body, rubbing soothing circles on your lower back.

“A what, love?”

“You know, a more...feminine...girlfriend?”

You nervously glance at him, waiting for his response.

There’s silence for a moment, and your heart drops.

“Who ever said that girls have to be feminine?”

You directly look into his eyes for the first time that evening, confusion plastered on your face.

Shoto has a soft and loving, but firm expression as he speaks.

“I don’t care if you dress, or appear differently than other girls. There is no “correct” way to look if you are a certain gender. You’re absolutely beautiful no matter what you do, or wear.” He leans forward to peck your lips once again.

“But...when I look at someone like Yaomomo, she’s just - so much more attractive and proper than someone like me...”

Shoto sighs, tilting your chin down to look at him.

“Proper? What’s not proper about you, Y/N? Your hair? Your clothing choices? Baby, you could wear a trash bag, have long hair - or even shave your head bald, I’d still fall in love with you all over again.”

You giggle a little, making him chuckle, seeing that he successfully cheered you up a bit.

“I mean it, Y/N. I love you, and I’ll continue loving you, forever. Please don’t ever feel like you have to compare yourself to other girls, because you’ll always be the prettiest girl in my heart.”

Your heart felt like it was on the verge of bursting as you leant forward, kissing your boyfriend deeply. It was like all your emotions were expressed through that kiss. It was almost as if Shoto’s loving words washed away every single insecurity that has ever passed your mind in your whole life.

“Thank you so much, Shoto. I love you, so, so much.” You both grin as you placed your foreheads together, noses brushing against each other.

“I want you to say it, love. Tell me you love yourself, and that you’re beautiful.”

Your face heated up from the request, placing your hands on Shoto’s shoulders and trying to push him away, only to have your wrists caught by his strong hands as he leaned closer.

“Come on, Y/N, I’m waiting,” he smirks at your flustered expression.

You pouted a bit, before taking a deep breath, embarrassed from Shoto’s intense stare.

“I-uh- I love myself the way I am, and...I’m beautiful.” You squealed and cover your face with your hands after finishing your sentence, not used to those words coming out of your mouth.

A laugh escapes Shoto as he pries your hands away from your face, placing a kiss on your nose.

“That’s right, love. What do you say we go shopping tomorrow, just me and you?”

Your eyes brightened at the idea, and Shoto could feel butterflies flooding his stomach.

“Yes!! I’d love that, Shoto,” You threw your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, burying your face into his hair.

He chuckles in response, leaning back and studying your face for a moment, making you confused.

Then, he takes your arms and pushes you back until your back is pressed against the bed, pinning them above you. His body hovers over yours, as his knee sneakily moves up to place itself between your thighs.

“But right now, let me show you just how beautiful you are, darling.”

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